Nj 10 day weather

Hi there. I'm 32yo woman. I have had 10 days of a sore throat (but only on the right side). I have developed 2 ulcers at the back of my throat. I'm now getting severe pain in the corner of my jaw and anterior neck pain only on the right side. I'm also getting some pain in my lower teeth and base of th right side of my tongue. Left side lymph nodes are slightly swollen but no discomfort. I have previously had a tonsillectomy at 17yo. I have no other cold/ flu symptoms or signs of infection such as fever. I have no visible lump on my neck. I am overweight but I look a bit swollen around the jaw. I had this on and off for the last year and all swabs were normal on each occasionI also had a neck ct which only showed large lymph nodes but nothing warranting further investigations.
I had blood tests recently that showed low b13 but everything else was unremarkable.
Any ideas?

You may remember our previous Verified Reader flair used to encourage users to participate in discussions and so-forth. These flairs are getting a serious revamp going forward. Now this flair has been split into two: Established Writers and Elite Contributors.
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Starting today, reaching a certain threshold in either post or comment karma in this subreddit (and having an account older than 60 days) will reward you with a flair showcasing your involvement in the community. Currently the amount of karma required to receive these flairs is relatively low but will likely increase in the distant future when the sub becomes more active/ gets more users. Below are descriptions of the flairs and rough idea on how to get them:
Elite Contributor - This flair is given based on comment karma from posts that are not your own. Having this flair indicates that you have been actively leaving feedback and input under other's work and questions to positive reception. Other people found your feedback so helpful or insightful that you have gotten plenty of upvotes or awards from grateful users.
Established Writer - This flair is given based on post karma. Having this flair indicates that you have been uploading your content to the subreddit to positive reception. Other people found your stories so interesting or well-written that you have gotten plenty of upvotes or awards from supportive users. (theoretically you could get this flair for posting alot of Discussion/Question posts. We do not have an issue with this, but - because of the threshold - it is pretty unlikely)
If you believe you should have gotten a flair (i.e. you have an obscene amount of community karma ( if you are curious what your own karma in individual communities is, you can view it by going to the following link (if you substitute your own user in it) https://old.reddit.com/useYourUserHere/ and click show karma breakdown by subreddit on the left sidebar)) feel free to reach out to moderators via modmail about the issue. Automod automatically assigns the flair when the requirements are reached, but if there is an issue in the command it might fail to do so.
As of now, there is no combination flair; you can only have one or the other. The Established Writer flair will automatically replace Elite Contributor if you have it.
There is a third flair, but it is not as easily obtained.
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Official Writers are users who have been members of the subreddit for a long time and consistently post. Official writers get a flair in an eye-catching red color to make their posts stand out and a spot in the community's sidebar linking to their collection. If you don't know what a collection is, its a reddit feature that groups your posts together into one page where they can be easily read in succession. This can be really helpful if you exclusively post a single ongoing story in multiple parts. We plan on only allowing 10 official writers at a time (a limitation of the sidebar widget).
Unlike the above two flairs, getting this one is not only harder but is not given automatically. To become an Official Writer, you need to apply via modmail.
Below are a few requirements for being an official writer:

• Reddit account must be 3 months (90 days) old or older - we don't want just any spam or alt account representing the sub
• Must not have had action against your account in the past month - if you had been banned in the 30 days prior to applying, you are not eligible and will be denied
• Your Reddit account must have a verified email - if your account has a verified email you'll see an icon in your trophy case stating so
• Have a substantial amount of original content posts in the community - these will be scanned for plagiarism; removed posts and posts that break our rules do not count; if you are verified and stop posting for 2 months or more, your title will be removed
• Your combined community karma must be positive - similarly to the above flairs, this limit will likely increase in the distant future when the sub becomes more active/ gets more users

The extra criteria used in evaluating requests is left to moderator discretion but other reasons for denial can include but is not limited to: sitewide bans for violation of Reddit policies in the last 90 days, posts removed for copyright violations, excessive harassment complaints against you, etc.
You may not use multiple accounts to apply. If you attempt to increase your upvote count using alts you'll likely get caught by admins and this can result in your account being suspended; do not do it.
After the manual verification is complete, a moderator will notify you of the decision. If you do not receive a response in over a month (30 days) you may contact the top mod directly via message. DO NOT SEND AS CHAT.
This post is incredibly long. If you have any questions, comments, concerns feel free to leave them below. While the concept has been in the works for a while, the execution is brand new to the sub and is bound to have a few issues. We look forward to hearing community feedback on the ideas above.

https://forms.office.com/Pages/ResponsePage.aspx?id=EWSL9vASo0iK-8kz7xSXI-m0zPwYJUNCsCoWAEzsIcxUOVkzU0EyUTA4WEhDQkwyQjVFNDdMTzNQRi4u
This form asks you to describe the POV of a participant you have watched by using a 1-10 scale in various categories.
You can redo it with different people as many times as you want! Thank you so much! I'm going to use this data in a little project I'm working on that will hopefully come out in a couple of weeks, so look out for that! Have a lovely day/night (I see you 3 am lurkers)!
Ps I don't really know what flair to use, I think discussion is fine but please let me know if i should change it.

I posted a question about 2 months ago about my employment situation .
Basically, my employer kept unlawfully denying my request for reasonable accommodation. Well they finally approved my request that they've denied several times and that they provide to other employees already shortly after applying for unemployment.
I lost about $10,000 plus benefits and I asked them for back pay and they were quit. They admitted fault but I was expected to eat the cost. Why should I have to lose $10,000 plus benefits for their mistake. Nothing was done and everyone got quiet. So we are now trying again but to negotiate an exit this time. Do you have any advice?
I spoke with many attorneys and they said my case is strong but the damages are too low for them to take the case. They advise me to file a complaint with the EEOC or State Agency and maybe that will get my employer to the table to correct their actions because they will start acquiring legal fees.
Any advice? The meeting with corporate is in two days.
Thank you. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Math and Penguins, what more do you need in life? Score to beat this week is 6 out of 10. Enjoy!
Round 1: Math - It’s taught so much in school, it must be important! You have only 3.14 seconds to answer each question, got to be quick here folks.

1. Is zillion a real number?
2. What prime number comes next after 3?
3. If you tip 20% on an $80 dinner bill. How much is the tip?
4. What mathematical theory explains the randomness of nature?
5. What unit of time is 1/100th of a second?

Answers: Math

1. No - it’s just a term to describe a really large number.
2. 5. Prime numbers are whole numbers greater than 1 whose only factor are 1 and itself.
3. $16. The math is $2 for every $10, Life Skills. If you have a dinner bill, just round to the nearest $10 and give $2 for every $10.
4. Butterfly Effect. Ashton Kutcher, strange movie back in the day...
5. A jiffy. It’s a real number, unlike a zillion.

Round 2: Penguins - A group of penguins in the water is called a raft, but a group on land is called a waddle. These penguin questions are all over the map, good luck.

1. What superhero has an enemy called the Penguin?
2. Penguins are one of the few birds that cannot do what?
3. The Penguins are a NHL Hockey team from which American city?
4. What is the largest penguin species?
5. Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private are a waddle of adventurous penguins from what animated film franchise?

Answers: Penguins

1. Batman. He's an interesting super hero because he has no special powers, just gadgets.
2. Fly, but it’s said they have evolved to fly underwater and that they have one of the most streamlined bodies in the animal kingdom.
3. Pittsburgh. Fun Fact everyone who lives anywhere close to Pittsburgh says they are from Pittsburgh.
4. Emperor Penguin. They are about the size of a 6 year old.
5. Madagascar. The movie exploded into spin-offs and sequels. They even made a film called Penguins of Madagascar.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! Don't let summer learning loss take over, 4 out of 5 penguins recommended listening to Trivia with Dad Podcast as a way to learn new facts and prevent summer learning loss.

First off I appreciate all the suggestions, advice and encouragement. I’ve been posting about a trio of senior kitties, trying to find them homes because they were wilting at the Baldwin Park shelter. There were many awesome people I heard from and that helped a lot. Thank you all.
I picked up Thalia yesterday morning from the shelter. The moment I opened her carrier box the smell was absolutely awful, she smelled like rotten filth and had globs of thick yellow and red drool hanging from both sides of her mouth. The globs were everywhere but her back, dried all over and incredibly disgusting. She was more dried filth than cat. But she purred and leaned into my petting.
I got her home, bathed her and examined the notes from the shelter vet. He noted a few times that she had stomatitis and a poor prognosis. He knew the first time he checked her how much pain she was in and just let her stay months at that shelter in excruciating pain.
I made her an appointment for this morning with my trusted vet, he’s a very good man. He was horrified that the shelter didn’t euthanize her immediately, for her sake. The chance of fixing her issues was very slim and he said she had to be at an 11/10 on the pain scale all day, every day. This issue didn’t happen overnight, it would have taken years.
Her original owner had to have known…for years…what was happening. When the condition became too bad she dumped her at a shelter. That shelter didn’t do what they were supposed to for a suffering animal. A person adopted her and returned her for “aggression” within 3 days. This was complete and utter BS, this little angel did nothing but purr and enjoy cuddles.
I do a lot of rescues. Since October alone I’ve scooped up dozens of hamsters and a few cats, rescuing them from situations that their negligent, uncaring owners caused. Did you know that every hamster cage sold by stores in the US is insanely cruel to hamsters? Even the smallest dwarf needs a minimum of 650 sq inches and at least 6-8” of bedding. If you go to Home Depot and look at their 55 gallon storage bin, that’s about the size you need…at least. Anything less is cruel and is even against the law in countries like Germany. All that chewing-on-the-bars and running around that so many people like to say is cute is a hamster being driven mad by what amounts to a Harry Potter staircase closet for a human.
Animals are living creatures and deserving of at the very least a bare minimum of living conditions. They are little souls dependent on the people that are supposed to be caring for them. If you don’t want an animal for life then don’t get one please. I don’t care if it’s a hamster, rat, cat, possum or horse. If they are living beings then they sure as hell should be treated as such and not like disposable toys that can be ignored, abandoned and tossed away like trash. Don’t get that hamster because your child (who is probably not ready for the responsibility) thought it was cute in a pet store. Do your research and be willing to provide what the animal needs for the rest of its life or DON’T GET IT.
Today my rescue cat Thalia was euthanized. My vet and I realized it was the only humane solution for her, no matter how much I (selfishly) wanted a little bit more time with her. So I held her as she died, and she literally purred with her head resting on my chest until she was gone. She let go before he had fully dispensed the 2nd injection. I tried to not cry until she was gone and just kept telling her how sorry I was that humans had failed her so badly for so long. She was an absolute angel and so loving, despite the immense amount of pain she was in.
When I brought her home yesterday I had decided to keep her for the rest of her life. I couldn’t wait to get her to the vet and start treatments that would help remove her pain. I didn’t know how short our time would be and instead I kissed her still head and have been crying since, switching between deep sadness and absolute rage.
The way our society treats animals is the way we treat each other. There are those who truly believe that just because someone doesn’t look, sound or act like them that makes those people or animals lesser. It’s an ugly mentality and causes a huge amount of the problems in this world. Every living being is worthy of basic respect and decency. From a child going hungry without lunch because the community decided not every child deserves to be fed if their parents can’t afford it to a rat being thrown into a trash bag to die a slow and horrible death with the other rats in there with him…these are LIVING SOULS.
If you don’t like animals, fine. How about not getting any and at least dealing with those you come across with decency? I know there are good people in this world as hurt and horrified by what they see every day as I am. I just feel like we are the minority and the majority just don’t care. We need to do so much better as a species. Stop this ass-backwards bigoted and hateful thinking and behave like decent human beings, please.
Please.

I'm a high school student and have severe menstrual pain to the point that I often have to miss school. I tend to throw up from the pain, and I can't walk for long enough to get from class to class.
Heating pads barely work, and hot baths need to be hot enough to make my skin red to help even slightly. I've tried Midol and pretty much every over-the-counter pain medication. No help.
I'm also somewhat irregular. Last cycle lasted 43 days. I bleed for around 7--9 days at a time and started having my period around the age of 10-11.
I plan on getting an examination soon and maybe prescription birth control or pain meds. However, I'm wondering if there's a way for me to get more excused absences from school per semester or something to a similar effect? I miss so much for my periods that i often have to go to school when im actually sick, although thats not my main concern here.
If it's relevant, the most intimate experience ive ever had was accidentally touching my friend's toe at a sleepover.

I’m going to try and make this long story short. The background: I (39f) and my husband (38m) of 20 years have 6 children. We got horribly screwed in selling our old home and buying this small acreage and brand new manufactured home to start our dairy goat farm. We lost proceeds on the sale of our old home paying the buyers closing costs and attorneys fees. (BS I know, but we ended up with little options when it came to getting it sold) Then the dealership we were working with didn’t submit some paperwork in time and our credit was pinged again by the mortgage company which made our down payment jump from $20k to $47k which effectively took up the rest of the proceeds in selling our home. Our estimated monthly payments then went from around $2k a month to $2,800 a month because the interest rate jumped because of that credit ping. We shelled out thousands in building permits, perk tests etc (something we were later told we should have never been expected to get ourselves) and thousands in storage fees when we had to go homeless (thank god FIL had an empty house he allowed us to stay in with our goats) for a couple months because the mortgage company took their time getting closing done before our occupancy ran out, then the contractors took their time getting the house set up. Because of that credit ping we didn’t qualify for a farm loan from the USDA, so we started ubering during any free time we had out side of the 9-5 to have a little extra in funds to get our farm going. We had goats we needed to build paddock for and nothing other than the spot for the house had been cleared. So ubering and clearing land 100% by hand. The weather in the south has been really bipolar. Hot/cold/rain/shine repeat. Goats are not as hardy as they are portrayed. Pneumonia, goat polio and meningeal worms have torn through our herd. We’ve lost thousands in show quality Nigerian dwarf goats we shipped In from out of state (we bought them before all the house sell fiasco). At the same time my husband was moved to a position at work to one with uncertain hours. Because of the thousands sunk into trying to save our goats and him losing hours we‘ve fallen behind on our mortgage. Now we’ve had it paid for the month by the end of the month since we’ve been here but not technically on time. for example January‘s payment was due Jan 15th but we didn’t get it paid in full til like Jan 28th or something like that. We were making 2 half payments each month which they to,d us was fine. As of right now we owe May’s payment (which we will pay in the next couple days. Just waiting for my check) and then June’s is due on the 15th. they have told Us that we need to have may and June paid in full by June 15th “or else” didn't tell me what the “or else“ was. We’ve now started donating plasma on top of all the ubering and reg 9-5 but it isn’t enough. Anyway, I’m wondering what can they do legally if we are still paying? Like if we have all of June paid by like June 20, is there anything they can legally do? If we can get away with that then we might can make it with just having to worry about our regular bills. Will probly have to cut off the phone and power but at least we’d have somewhere to live and wouldn’t lose our goats.

Hello everyone,
Recently I made a new build with some used and some new parts and I'm running into an issue of my computer "randomly" getting the bsod: Video tdr failure (nvlddmkm.sys)
Most games run fine, independent on the graphical settings (Overwatch, Minecraft, Tf2 etc) but I get the bsod at least once a day, seemingly randomly. I had a friend reinstall the gpu drivers as well as update the bios yesterday but that hasn't helped at all. The crash happened several times doing seemingly random things. I found a consistent way to make the crash happen by loading a song into Virtual DJ, a dj mixer software (Just loading the song blue screens the computer, not even playing it)
Both me and my friend have run out of ideas on what could be causing the issue and any help is much appreciated!
Pc specs:
os: Windows 10 Home 64 bit mobo: H310M M.2 2.0 (used) cpu: Intel Core i3-9100F (used) ram: 2x Kingston 8gb ddr4 2666mhz DIMM Fury beast (new) gpu: nvidia geforce gtx 1070 (used) psu: gigabyte p550b, 550W (new) hdd: seagate BarraCuda 3.5, 1tb (new) ssd: kingston a400, 2.5, 120 gb (new)

They cured me, of every last bit of anything good that I had left in my life.
This is how my they helped me personally:
2017:

• Involuntarily locked me up a in a closed ward which is just an empty hallway with rooms, haven’t seen the sunlight for the whole month of July, no one talked to me, no one explained what is happening to me or what will they do with me
• During this hospitalization, while being completely calm and quiet I got grabbed and stripped by two men while the nurse injected me with some poison, got locked up in a cage where the “doctor” came to openly insult me and threaten me that I’m not coming out for the next three days which caused me terrible claustrophobia to realize that I’m not going to be able to move for 72 hours
• During the “cage incident” I had to witness a guy in the cage next to screaming for hours that he needs water, got refused, screamed and begged for another hour until he had to take his dick out to piss in his own mouth in front of me so that he would quench the thirst he got from the medication they gave him. I’ve lost all innocence here.
• Released me after a month of this type of shit, claiming that I was helped by them and that I’m stable and doing great mentally
• I was naïve as fuck to come back, hoping that they would put me in an open ward so that I could be helped instead of tortured
• They did put me in an open ward, however they suddenly decided that I’m suffering from severe form of schizophrenia and an ECT has to be done immediately
• Threatened me to sign the ECT papers otherwise they would send me to another hospital across the whole country for another 3-6 months
• Fried my brain for a month straight on bi-daily basis because of a diagnosis that I don’t suffer from
• Medicated me heavily, later I rotated through 12 different antipsychotics, usually 3 at a time, for a diagnosis that I don’t suffer from

2018

• Tried committing suicide because I realized how disgusting the whole world is and no help is coming - got hospitalized again, been there for a month and I just spent it lying down drugged out of this world
• During this I haven’t seen my room doctor until the last day, when he came to shake my hand telling me that I’m being released, the guy spent the whole month being away at some psych convention and didn’t know anything about me, great care
• They put me on Invega injections, because my non-existent “schizophrenia” was not going away so they probably thought I wasn’t taking the pills, which I was, cause I was dumb and trusting at this point
• Invega injections killed the last bits of my personality (all my friends left me) and now I wasn’t only mentally castrated but I developed a new side effect called “ejaculation failure”
• I realized that this is not the solution and tried my best not to ever get hospitalized again, just stuck to the regular check-ups because my psychiatrist was the nicest person that I’ve met
• The whole year I spent in bed, sleeping easily for 18 hours a day, never left my home, I was heavily sedated during the 6 remaining hours too (800mg quetiapine, Invega injections, max dose of levomepromazine = 3 sedative APs at the same time)
• Reached my highest BMI of 36 (normal is 18.5-25)
• I kept complaining to my psychiatrist that I sleep 18 hours every day, she did not care, she even wrote it in the papers and did not change the medication
• Lost this whole year in bed and nothing else happened, I was 24/25 y/o

2019

• Another year of sleeping or lying in bed, drugged for a diagnosis that I don’t suffer from
• I tried 2 jobs, both failed in the first week or two cause I couldn’t wake up in the morning or keep my eyes open, had to lie down in the street a couple times cause I had to sleep so bad if I only slept for 12 hours instead of 18
• They put me into some daily psychiatric care where you come every day and leave at around 2PM, soon enough they kicked me out for refusing to get on more antipsychotics, not giving a fuck about anything that is happening to me, only trying to push more drugs
• August came and my leg started to hurt terribly, developed breathing issues, couldn’t even walk upstairs cause I felt like I’m suffocating
• Turns out I got a gigantic blood clot in the main artery of the leg, some of it traveled to the lungs and almost killed me (pulmonary embolism)
• I tell this to my psychiatrist, she acts like it has nothing to do with me taking 3 max doses of APs at the same time and sleeping 18 hours a day for two years straight. I even got a confirmation from another doctor that says I have no hereditary blood clotting issues and that it was caused by psychiatric medication, she won’t admit to this until this day (she is legitimately a nice person, always tried to help me and thinks that the drugs would never do this, but its pissing me off that she didn’t claim responsibility cause it means that it might happen to someone else easily again)
• She switches one AP for another, I still rot in bed, sedated out of my mind
• Another year is over, I slept through it and developed even more chronic health issues
• I’m 25/26 and starting to realize my best years were lost due to illness and psych drugs

2020

• Had a couple psych check-ups, nothing was getting better, 800mgs of instant release Quetiapine kept giving me all types of disgusting side effects, electroshocks in lower limbs, passing out mid-speaking, not breathing while sleeping, waking up with blue lips and pale face
• COVID hit hard and I stopped going to the check-ups for 7 months as they advised everyone to stay at home
• Used this time to get myself off of all antipsychotics, Quetiapine withdrawal was the worst and lasted for weeks, couldn’t sleep for days at a time, puking, terrible anxiety, everything physically hurt, itching, sweating and all types of nasty shit but I decided to get off this poison so I did
• Until this point I really thought I am a schizophrenic but it turns out all the nasty schizo-like symptoms were caused by my overmedication, suddenly I started to have personality and I was more lively
• I was still suffering really hard from psychological pain so I googled “most painful mental disorder”, BPD came out as the answer, read up on it, realized that it’s really no schizophrenia but instead Borderline PD, which to me is even worse and I wanted to die even more after finding out

2021

• After 7 months COVID calmed down, decided to get a psych check-up, told her I’m no longer on APs, she suggests me to take Latuda (another AP), she was really careless as I was already prescribed Carbamazepine which has a terrible interaction with Latuda and no one in the right mind would prescribe it together
• I take it together, the result was explosive puking, couldn’t even manage to get into bathroom in time, this happened multiple days before I decided to Google the interactions.
• First time in my life I started to be psychotic after taking Latuda, auditory hallucinations and extreme paranoia. Told her about the interaction and the psychotic symptoms, she just increased the dose. Another check-up I complained the symptoms got even worse, she increased the dose to the max.
• I didn’t know it was the Latuda causing it so I just stopped taking the carbamazepine because of the interaction, got extreme akathisia from Latuda which felt like being burned alive from the inside, I didn’t take another dose after this but the psychosis stayed
• At this point I was already 6 months in active psychosis with auditory hallucinations and paranoia, trying to survive in the world where everyone was “after me” and no help was in sight
• This is the first time I experienced psychosis in my life and started to believe them, that I really am a schizophrenic
• After 7 months of Latuda induced psychosis she got me on another AP which calmed it down a things got better

2022

• I read up on Latuda, realized the psychosis was caused by it and I was back to thinking I only got the fucking BPD + all the comorbid crap (depression, anxiety, ocd…)
• I looked at myself in the mirror after 5 years of being made completely careless about everything because of the overmedication, realized I’m a BMI 36 fat peace of shit and without all the medication numbing me I got super anxious about my looks
• Stopped taking the meds and I was finally able to start doing things, started working out, doing chores, walking 5 miles every day and I started fasting
• In exactly 180 days I lost 40kg/88lb and went down to 22 BMI but these 180 days hurt like fuck because of the un-medicated BPD and my living conditions at home. I was in a terrible place mentally, suicidal, I knew no medication can fix this condition
• After almost 5 years I decided to trust psychiatry again, got myself hospitalized, spent one month just sitting there waiting for a miracle as they closed off the whole ward because of COVID. They tried getting me on prothazine and MAOI at the same time, which is a deadly interaction but they were careless and almost did me in with this combo
• Nothing changed for the better during this month, at the end of the hospitalization they did psych tests and confirmed BPD without me telling them that I suspected this dg.
• No one said we’re sorry for misdiagnosing me w/ schizophrenia or frying my brain with ECT, or overmedicating me with 12 max dose APs for a diagnosis that I don’t suffer from, or them making me extremely fat for no reason, or giving me 3 blood clots that won’t go away, or them destroying every dopamine receptor in my brain to a point where I couldn’t ever feel any positive emotion again, or that they castrated me and made me asexual
• The day after officially getting the most stigmatized diagnosis confirmed on paper, I was released even more suicidal than before and lasted a couple of days before deciding to go in the psychiatric ER in the same hospital. They just told me to “take a hike in the forest” and I was sent home and they billed the insurance company for something expensive like “anti-suicidal intervention with duration no less than 45 minutes” even though we talked for about 6 minutes; ($$$$$)
• I lasted about 35 days like this before I gave up and try to commit suicide out of all the hopelessness, 80 xans and 700ml of vodka was the only thing that I amounted to, spent 2 days in coma but the outcome could’ve been way worse
• I ended up in the same psych ward, after this suicide attempt they decided that I don’t deserve any psychological help, instead they locked me in an empty room for 5 days where I had to endure all the BPD symptoms all alone, just me, a bed and 4 walls and a bucket they had me piss & shit into because they wouldn’t even let me out to use the bathroom, nurse even complimented me on how much piss & shit I produced into the bucket, lost all my dignity right here at this point
• I remembered all the stories I read and finally realized that honesty only brings you harm in these types of hospitals so I started lying that I’m doing great just to get out of this hell and they just released me, even more suicidal and traumatized than before
• Out of the desperation I order something similar to Kratom, It allowed me to somehow survive the next 6 months without a sui attempt
• The year was over, I was 28/29 and my youth was all gone and wasted in suffering, zero hope

2023

• I kept going to the check-ups, kept googling new medication in hopes of finding something to fix my brain and I started a new antidepressant, It didn’t do much but at least I had no side effects
• I was offered to go to the daily psychiatric care again so I went. I came there, introduced myself as well as I could in front of 15 new people. The main therapist literally tells me that she feels bothered by my presence and starts to ridicule me in front of everyone even though there was nothing wrong with my introduction
• I left and no longer I could say that it’s only me who feels like a burden or annoyance to people if even a paid professional can’t help it but to bully me
• I go home and decide to do what’s been long due, I hang myself with a fucking Ethernet cable, it breaks after 10 seconds anyway and I fall down on my sad ass. Sleeping pills started to kick in so I just went to sleep and left the cable hanging there
• For some fucking reason the next I decided to look for help in psychiatry again, got offered a hospitalization just to get kicked out after 3 days, they gave me 60 seconds to pack my shit and leave the room, I don’t even know what I did at this point but kicking suicidal people to the curb like a bag of garbage is apparently fine by them, no reason needed. I guess they already prescribed me all types of useless but expensive shit that brings them money every month anyways so I’m of no use to them anymore

It hopefully ends here. I realized that it doesn’t matter how bad I'm doing mentally, every chance I give psychiatry, they only make it worse. I’m almost thirty, they cured nothing, only made me worse, traumatized me further and made me develop new chronic disorders that cause me physical pain, as if the psychological BPD pain wasn’t enough. Not only my youth is gone but the future too as I am unable to get any sort of positive feeling out of anything, I don’t know if it was the ECT that fried my brain or the shitloads of APs that caused me to have this anhedonia but I can’t feel anything. My whole life is just me trying to cope with the BPD pain as it is the only thing I can feel. I don’t know where else to go and I feel like the brain damage is irreversible while the psychiatrists are living their best lives, enjoying the money and the status of god. I’ve been used and the big pharma is hundreds of thousands of dollars richer thanks to me, which they will either pocket or use to make new poisons that will kill or destroy lives of even more people. I don’t know how long I will last but I wish I killed myself in 2016 so that I wouldn’t have to go through all this shit only to come out even more damaged.
Rule #5 says no medical advice and I'm not looking for one, but someone please tell me what to fucking do after all this brain damage has been done or what to do with the BPD, where do I go when things get bad? I'm all alone and I'm scared I will be dumb enough to ask psychiatry for help again, the story proves I'm dumb enough to go back again and never learn.

Timestamp:
https://imgur.com/a/OTx5tTq
Dibs and then PM me. No chats. PayPal Friends/Fam or you add 3% on top for g/s. No notes. Ships in 1-2 business days.
Today's prices are :
1) new, only opened Cyelee CT2 green dot rmr. Has 2 batteries in package. Watch the YouTube reviews. Very good budget dot. $90 $85 shipped
2) new Riton X1 Tactix red dot with qd high mount and low mount. Never used, only opened package. $55 shipped
3) new, no package. Never mounted Magpul AK (no sling cutout model) Gray MOE handguard and Gray MOE + grip with screw, has storage cap. $35 shipped for both.
4) new, box damaged product is fine. ODG MOE + grip. $20 shipped
5) new Aero .750 Phosphate gas block - $20 shipped
6) new Zaffiri Precision magwell for P80 pf940c only. ~~$45 $40 shipped~~
7) new Glock MOS plates for 17, 19 etc..... Not for single stacks. $20 shipped.
8) new Gorilla Machining Glock 23 Italian Stainless Steel threaded barrel, no thread protector $75 $70 $65 shipped
9) used FDO brand G43 holster in fde $25 shipped
10) 3 used Magpul grips. 2 black MOE + have a lil spot of damage on right side of grip up top ( just a tiny rip in polymer) and an odg MOE that was stippled. I received odg grip in a parts lot, feels good but is ugly in looks department. 2 need screws, 1 has screw. $25 shipped for all 3 grips.
11) salty, used Magpul MOE carbine length handguard in fde with fde VFG (missing long mlok screw). This was a catch and release. $25 shipped for both.
12) new Zev Black Out sights for Glock. Come with 2 different length screws. $45 shipped
*** Add on only: Free, just ask. I have 1 burnt bronze Ar15 A2 grip (needs screw/washer)

10 days post-norovirus and still having stomach pain with eating/drinking especially anything with electrolytes. Doctor at urgent care today said I could be like this for weeks… I have to go back to work Tuesday but idk what to do because I’m dehydrated, and I can’t stay hydrated. I got IV fluids and felt fantastic for a day but that quickly faded. They tried 4 times to stick me today but couldn’t get an IV because I’m dehydrated and they sucked at IVs. I’m peeing like twice a day and it’s not very much and really dark. I told her that, she just said keep trying my best and get fluids as needed from an IV bar but I work in a hospital and I’m out of fmla I can’t take time off without losing my job, but I don’t know how to get IV fluids before each shift. Plus if I get overheated or something at work I won’t be able to drink and keep up. She gave me nausea meds but I’m not nauseous my stomach and abdomen HURT. IV fluids like the night before I go in, I just pee it out all night. I have to get them the day of so they stay in because the moment I lay down, my body just starts peeing out everything.