ravlo was born to a magicly gifted family of aarakocra, they lived in a small village tucked away in a valley far from human interference where the aarakocra lived and practiced their skill in the arcane arts, ravlo was always a clumbsy sorcerer who often missed spell's even his favouret cantrip the acid splash often hurting the ones who taught him, though brash and egotistical ravlo eventually earned the respect of the village when a group of 10 gargoyle's the sworn enemies of the aarakocra raided his village, in an amazing display of green and red magic ravlo killed 3 invades and drove the rest off. ravlo was hounered for his actions given his own staff and his own engraved piece of wood marked with protective wards a tradition only customery to only his village. later at the age of 5 his village was raided by the largest group of gargoyle's ever seen couting 200 members strong, feeling overly strong from the last encounter not but a year ago ravlo charged in full of zeal he was able to kill a handfull of gargoyle's but had to retreat when he was hit in the chest. almost all of ravlo's village was destroyed because he was unconscious for the main battle between the aarakocra and the gargoyle horde, when he came too he was being cared for by the few surviving aarakocra while hiding in an old fort in the woods at that point ravlo swore to uphold peace, freedom and justice across all the kingdoms when he saw fit in the name of the aarakocra god of wind revali. lacking in money, recources and freinds ravlo traveled the kingdom helping with odd jobs intill he met a female aarakocra in the hold of a grand city. he setteled down having 4 children and he became a handyman around the town he setteled down in slowly loosing his mastery of magic at the age of 10 his town where attacked by a horde of skeletons he fled with his family towards the main city for aid. in the process of fleeing 2 of his children where slayn by stray arrows, when they reached the city one more of his children when hit by arrows they had to leave the gravley wounded child behing due to the moving swarm of people ravlo was wounded in the escape to the city so his wife was sent to the wall to protect and he had to tend to himself and his last child in the streets of the city. when the horde hit the wall the refugees where moved to the main cathedral dedicated to an old dead saint. when moving to the cathedral his last son his killed by a drunk ork who mistook his white feathed daughter for a skeleton the few gaurds put down the ork and took ravlo inside when he was begging to be let allowed to see his dying child alone on the street. when the walls where breached ravlo's wife was slayed by the horde, left with nothing ravlo found a group of misfits in the cathedral who he stuck with.

Just had a diagnostic laparoscopy to look for endo on 5/24 (today is day 4). They made 3 incisions. One big one in my belly button and then 1 on my left side and 1 on my right side. They biopsied 3 spots and found some scar tissue. They also put in an IUD. Everyone told me this surgery was so easy and I would be healed and good to go by the first week. So wrong. I am in so much pain. I am on constant pain meds, but am now off codone and muscle relaxer. My whole stomach aches and my belly button feels like its going to rip. I cannot make a bowel movement whatsoever and have been drinking tons of tea, water, taking miralax, and probiotics. Yet nothing. UGH. This is my first surgery ever and I am so scared. This pain is awful. My back is also in pain due to having to lay down and sleep most of the time. I have tried walking but its so uncomfortable. I also only took a week off of work and the way this is going… im gonna need a lot more time. Just want to see what your experience was and get some fellow support!

In the years that followed, the notoriety of Widow's Rest spread far beyond the confines of Ravenbrook. Paranormal investigators, thrill-seekers, and skeptics alike were drawn to the haunting allure of the murder house. Each visitor hoped to unravel its mysteries, but few truly comprehended the depths of terror that awaited them.
One such intrepid soul was Ethan, a renowned paranormal researcher renowned for his fearlessness and unwavering skepticism. With a team of fellow investigators, he arrived at Widow's Rest armed with an arsenal of high-tech equipment, determined to expose the supposed supernatural occurrences as mere figments of imagination.
Ethan's scientific approach clashed with the ethereal forces that saturated the house. The spirits, sensing his disbelief, unleashed their fury upon him and his team. Electronic devices malfunctioned, recordings turned to static, and batteries drained inexplicably. But Ethan remained steadfast, attributing the disturbances to faulty equipment rather than spectral interference.
As night descended upon Widow's Rest, the house awakened, revealing its true power. Doors slammed shut with a deafening force, sealing off escape routes. Apparitions materialized before the investigators, their faces twisted in agony, their eyes filled with a longing for release. Ethan's skepticism wavered as he witnessed the undeniable evidence of the supernatural.
Driven by a newfound urgency, Ethan and his team delved deeper into the heart of darkness, determined to uncover the truth. They followed the spectral echoes that guided their path, leading them to a hidden chamber—a place where Blackwood had once reveled in his gruesome deeds.
Within the chamber's blood-stained walls, Ethan discovered a hidden secret—a grimoire containing ancient rituals and dark incantations. It was a testament to the unholy pact Blackwood had made, granting him power over life and death. The very source of the house's malevolence lay before him.
Unbeknownst to Ethan, his presence had disturbed the fragile balance within Widow's Rest. The spirits, furious at his intrusion, merged their ethereal energies with the dark power of the grimoire. The house itself became a living entity, its malevolent force coiling around Ethan's team, suffocating their hope for survival.
Desperate to escape the clutches of the house, Ethan realized that his skepticism had led him astray. In a final act of defiance, he embraced the supernatural, embracing the rituals and incantations he had once dismissed. Channeling the spirits' own energy, he managed to break the house's grip, releasing his team from its deadly hold.
Bruised, battered, and forever changed, Ethan and his surviving comrades emerged from Widow's Rest. They carried with them the weight of a harrowing experience, forever marked by the horrors they had witnessed. Ethan, now a firm believer in the supernatural, devoted his life to studying the paranormal, seeking answers that lay beyond the realm of science.
As for Widow's Rest, it remained a chilling testament to the darkness that dwells within the human soul. Its legacy persisted, a warning to all who dared venture into its depths—a reminder that some secrets are better left undisturbed and that the boundaries between the living and the dead should never be trifled with. The murder house, forever etched in the annals of terror, stood as a stark reminder of the fragile line that separates the natural from the supernatural, and the consequences that await those who dare to cross it.
Years turned into decades, and Widow's Rest continued to cast its ominous presence over Ravenbrook. The town's residents, deeply aware of the malevolence that resided within its decaying walls, had long since abandoned all attempts to tame the evil that dwelled there. Widow's Rest became a forbidden place, its very name whispered with trepidation, ensuring that future generations respected its dark legacy.
But fate has a way of entwining lives with the macabre, even when one seeks to avoid it. Sarah, a young artist with an insatiable curiosity, found herself drawn to the enigmatic history of Widow's Rest. Despite the warnings and the stories of countless tragedies, her fascination with the house overwhelmed her senses, compelling her to uncover the truth that lay hidden within.
With brush and canvas in hand, Sarah embarked on a journey to capture the essence of Widow's Rest—its haunting beauty and chilling despair. She stood before the forsaken structure, captivated by its spectral allure. The air was thick with an otherworldly presence, as if the spirits themselves were calling out to her, urging her to bring their stories to life.
Days turned into weeks as Sarah ventured inside Widow's Rest, her artistic vision driving her deeper into the heart of darkness. Shadows danced around her, whispering secrets that only the walls could hear. The house became her muse, and with each stroke of her brush, she breathed life into the haunted memories that dwelled within.
As Sarah worked tirelessly, the spirits of Widow's Rest stirred. They recognized in her an artist's soul—a vessel through which they could finally share their long-suppressed pain and sorrow. They revealed their stories to her, vivid and haunting, each stroke of her brush capturing their essence. The paintings, imbued with a supernatural energy, came alive with spectral figures and whispered echoes.
But as Sarah delved further into her art, she became increasingly entangled with the spirits that haunted the house. Their presence permeated her dreams, blending reality with the ethereal. She witnessed the horrors of their demise through their own eyes, feeling their fear, their anguish, and their unquenchable thirst for justice.
Haunted by the weight of their stories, Sarah's own existence teetered on the edge of the supernatural realm. The boundaries between her world and the spectral plane blurred, and she struggled to discern where reality ended and the nightmares began. The house, once her inspiration, now threatened to consume her entirely.
In a final act of desperation, Sarah completed her masterpiece—a collection of paintings that vividly captured the spirits' torment and the dark history of Widow's Rest. With every brushstroke, she poured her own essence into the art, intertwining her fate with theirs.
As she unveiled her creations to the world, the spirits found solace in their newfound expression. Sarah had given them a voice, a means to transcend their tortured existence. The art became a beacon, drawing others to the haunting truth of Widow's Rest, awakening empathy and igniting a collective desire to honor the lives lost within its walls.
The town of Ravenbrook, forever transformed by Sarah's artistic revelation, came together to commemorate the victims and acknowledge the legacy of the murder house. The paintings became a permanent exhibit, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a reminder that even in the face of unspeakable horrors, art can bring healing and redemption.
And so, Widow's Rest, once a den of darkness, evolved into a place of somber remembrance—a symbol of the endurance of the human soul. Sarah's paintings stood as a testament to the power of art to transcend boundaries, to give voice to the voiceless, and to shed light on the darkest corners of our existence. The murder house had finally found a glimmer of light after years of darkness and decay.

How should I tell my dad that I think my biological mother assaulted me while I was sleeping?
So, it was 2018 and during that time I was 14 years old and my dad let me go visit my grandma for my bio mom’s wedding I went stayed at my grandmas apartment for the night and it was me my bio mom and grandma during that stay where we went to my grandmothers apartment complex and we arrived there at 4 PM but right after we arrived my grandmother left to go to the casino with her friends so she was gone all night and didn’t arrive till the next morning so while there it was just my mother, her dog and me I remember during that stay. I was really uncomfortable I could not sleep at all so I slept in the living room all alone and my bio mom slept in my grandma’s room with her dog. And I didn’t go to sleep till three in the morning but I remember I was playing music on a small speaker and I laid on the couch holding it. But around 6 or 7 am I remember waking up and my mom was staring at me while I was on the couch sleeping I don’t know if she assaulted me but I remember when I woke up I felt really uncomfortable between my legs and it was wet and she was staring at me, petting her dog, but after that happened, I went back to sleep and I didn’t wake up until my grandma came back home.
I also was not on my period during this time .
That morning we went to the city that she lived in and got ready for her wedding. Her a wedding did not end until about 10 or 11 PM that night and that day I decided I was gonna wear a black dress because I wanted to dress formal and around that night. She kept telling me that I should change it to more comfortable clothes so she followed me too her mother and father-in-law’s room and she told me to change in the bathroom and I said OK but I asked her if she could leave because I don’t I felt uncomfortable, but she said I’m your mom why are you acting like this so I had to change in front of her and I felt really scared because I did not really know of any stuff about her and her relationship wasn’t that close but while I change I’m returning around so she can stay at my front and she stared at me the whole time I undressed.
The bathroom did not have a door either it was connected to the room.
Sorry for the grammar mistakes if there are any I was nervous while writing this because I have never told anyone.

I’ve beaten this game with pre-mantle lost. I’ve beaten this game with AB+ Keeper. I’ve gotten all marks as Tainted Lost and Jacob and Esau. Tainted Jacob is the most ass character of all the characters I’ve listed, and it’s by a wide margin.
I know Esau more or less one shots most enemies. I know he melts early to mid-late bosses. I know you have to use Anima to not die sometimes. I know he can block bullets. I know you get a free devil deal if you go into lost form. I know you get flight if you go into lost form to pick up out of reach stuff. I get all of this. He’s a fun, high risk high reward character up until the womb. No complaints here on that.
I hate this character after that though. The risk to reward ratio becomes so skewed towards risk that the actual reward part is barely there. A bunch of enemies or bullet hell patterns or even both are somewhat reasonable with even tainted lost (except Delirium of course). Throw in some asshole who’s trying to kill you on top of that? And said asshole puts you at one shot range? And said asshole doesn’t stop coming after you even after putting you into this state? And he doesn’t even do that much damage to late game bosses anyways because of the damage reduction mechanic and your damage likely being at the cap anyways?
I hate this character so very very much. I know this is a contentious opinion, since he’s got benefits to be sure, but it’s like he’s just not meshing with the programming TBOI has taught me over the years. I had a pretty good time with Tainted Lost, even though I lost many runs at mother or something because I accidentally ran into a spike wall before the boss or something. But Tainted Jacob… I have had so little fun with this character. Something about being bullcharged while focusing on bullet hell patterns and being made into the lost, when I just had 8 full hearts, just feels bad. I cannot wait to be rid of this character after completing the post it. If I weren’t on console, I would’ve skipped this character completely. My girlfriend is worried because she’s never seen me rage at a game like this ever, let alone TBOI, which I’ve played off and on for god knows how long now.
Just got Mega Santa and Delirium to go… Should be easy, right? Totally haven’t already died on Delirium several times, and definitely not when his health was at 10% and I got instagibbed in lost form. I can’t even say this is the hardest character, but again, the play style falls apart for me personally around Cathedral onwards. Anyways, I wouldn’t want them to change the character at all now so that future generations can feel my pain. 10/10 character!

ravlo was born to a magicly gifted family of aarakocra, they lived in a small village tucked away in a valley far from human interference where the aarakocra lived and practiced their skill in the arcane arts, ravlo was always a clumbsy sorcerer who often missed spell's even his favouret cantrip the acid splash often hurting the ones who taught him, though brash and egotistical ravlo eventually earned the respect of the village when a group of 10 gargoyle's the sworn enemies of the aarakocra raided his village, in an amazing display of green and red magic ravlo killed 3 invades and drove the rest off. ravlo was hounered for his actions given his own staff and his own engraved piece of wood marked with protective wards a tradition only customery to only his village. later at the age of 5 his village was raided by the largest group of gargoyle's ever seen couting 200 members strong, feeling overly strong from the last encounter not but a year ago ravlo charged in full of zeal he was able to kill a handfull of gargoyle's but had to retreat when he was hit in the chest. almost all of ravlo's village was destroyed because he was unconscious for the main battle between the aarakocra and the gargoyle horde, when he came too he was being cared for by the few surviving aarakocra while hiding in an old fort in the woods at that point ravlo swore to uphold peace, freedom and justice across all the kingdoms when he saw fit in the name of the aarakocra god of wind revali.[00:01]lacking in money, recources and freinds ravlo traveled the kingdom helping with odd jobs intill he met a female aarakocra in the hold of a grand city. he setteled down having 4 children and he became a handyman around the town he setteled down in slowly loosing his mastery of magic at the age of 10 his town where attacked by a horde of skeletons he fled with his family towards the main city for aid. in the process of fleeing 2 of his children where slayn by stray arrows, when they reached the city one more of his children when hit by arrows they had to leave the gravley wounded child behing due to the moving swarm of people ravlo was wounded in the escape to the city so his wife was sent to the wall to protect and he had to tend to himself and his last child in the streets of the city. when the horde hit the wall the refugees where moved to the main cathedral dedicated to an old dead saint. when moving to the cathedral his last son his killed by a drunk ork who mistook his white feathed daughter for a skeleton the few gaurds put down the ork and took ravlo inside when he was begging to be let allowed to see his dying child alone on the street. when the walls where breached ravlo's wife was slayed by the horde, left with nothing ravlo found a group of misfits in the cathedral who he stuck with.

Hello, and welcome to my sale!
I go by timestamps in this thread, so please do not message me until we have come to an agreement about pricing. I accept PayPal Goods and Services and will cover associated fees. I’ll hold items for a couple of hours unless you request differently, and will then move on to the next interested party if there is one. Some items may be posted on multiple platforms and I will usually go by timestamps across all platforms, but do reserve the right to prioritize buyers who will be purchasing multiple items.
Shipping starts at $5.00 for light items within the continental US and will increase with weight and distance. Palettes and nail polish are likely to cost more. I'm happy to ship internationally as long as you understand that postage can be costly. I do look for the best rates, domestic or international, and I ship quickly. Unfortunately, postage rates have increased and there’s only so much I can do. No minimum purchase.
I have marked a lot of things down significantly, including many $10 palettes, indie shadows in the $2-$6 range, and cut prices on everything. I can’t say for sure how much more flexibility I can offer, but try making me an offer rather than closing out and moving on!
I’ve added swatch pictures that I found online for many of the products that have glimmer, shimmer or shifts. Hopefully this helps show how beautiful and unique these products are!
$10 palette section! All palettes in this section are marked down to $10
Ace Beaute Falling for You palette, BNNU, $15
Alamar Cosmetics Spanglish Pressed Pigment palette, 3 colors swatched, $15
bh Cosmetics Run Wild x Tina Yong, 3 eye colors swatched. $12 this is heavy and will require more postage to send
Beauty Bakerie Sugar Cookies palette, most colors used 2 or 3 times, $20
Colourpop Salvaje palette, some colors used 2 or 3 times, $15
Colourpop Semi Precious, some light use, one color chipped, $12
Estee Edit The Gritty Eye Palette, 3 colors swatched once, $12
Juvia’s Place The Magic Minis , BNNU, $15
Juvia’s Place The Zulu, 3 colors swatched, $12
Notoriously Morbid Aim With My Eye palette, 3 colors swatched. $16.00
Pretty Vulgar Pretty Birdie, light use, $36
Sigma Warm Neutrals Vol. 2, 4 colors swatched, $15
Sydney Grace Chase Your Dreams, 2 colors swatched, $14
Violet Voss Drenched Metal palette, swatched but one color has a chip missing, $18
Violet Voss Essentials 2, BNNU, $12
Other Eyeshadow Palettes
Dia & Noche Once Upon a Time palette, 4 colors swatched, $5
Fantasy Cosmetica Bard palette, Never used but arrived with middle shade shattered. Retails for $38.99. $20
Fenty Beauty Snap Shadows Mix & Match eyeshadow palette in Cadet, used 3-4 times at most, Retails for $30 . $18
Kat von D Serpentina palette, some light use, missing loose pigment. will need extra shipping $20
KimChi Chic Juicy Velvet palette; see swatch photos from Kimchi Site, BNNU, $12
Lethal Cosmetics Magnetic Pressed Powder Palette in Jolina, 3 or 4 colors swatched. $25
MAC Cosmetics Aaliyah eyeshadow palette, 4 colors swatched, $18
Peach Queen We’re All Mad Here, 3 colors swatched. Sold out on site $20
Pink Crush Cosmetics Nocturnal Garden palette, brand new, $22
Pinky Rose Cosmetics Sunflower palette, most shades swatched once, $12
Sigma x Beauty Bird Dream Palette, most colors swatched, comes with brush, $25
Sugarpill Capsule Collection in black and orange versions, each swatched or 4 times, $22 each; both for $40
Urban Decay Urban Spectrum palette, 5 colors swatched, will require a couple of dollars extra to ship due to weight, $25
Viseart Golden Hour, usage shown, $25
Eyeshadow Singles, Eyeliner, etc.
About Face Matte Fluid Eye Paint (l - r) in It’s a Blitz and Vertigo Flowers. Swatched with clean, disposable brush. $11 each or both for $20
bh Cosmetics x DojaCat Cascade liquid eyeshadow in top - bottom Berry and Royal Blue, used 3 or 4 times each. $8 each or both for $15
Glossier Lidstar in Fawn, hard to tell how much is left even though I only used a few times, $8
JD Glow cosmetics L-R: Galaxy liner in Nocturnal; glitter tube in Poise; galaxy liner in Facetime. Each used up to 3x with clean, disposable brush. Retail for $9-10. $4 each; all 3 for $10
Indie shadow large pans $3 each
JD Glow 37mm metallon shadow in Bestie, swatched, $7
JD Glow 37mm metallon shadow in Blue Avenue, swatched, $7
Give Me Glow foiled pigment in Anastasia, swatched, $6
Give Me Glow ultra matte pigment in Dramatic, BNNU, $6
Give Me Glow ultra matte pigment in Tan Lines, BNNU, $6
Moira Cosmetics Lucent Cream Eyeshadow, L-R Cosmos, Earth, Nimbus, each BNIB, $5 each or all 3 for $12
Lipstick
Benefit California Kissin’ Color Balm in Poppy, swatched once with brush, $12
Fenty Gloss Bomb in Fenty Glow, BNNU, $6
Gucci lipstick Agatha Orange, swatched once with clean lip brush, $25 15
Lime Crime Wet Cherry Gloss in Pumpkin Pie, BNNU, $10
MAC lipstick in Chili, BNIB, $10
Mally x RuPaul Discotheque Lip Topper in Condragulations, bnnu, $8
MBA Cosmetics Glossy Glaze in Miss Monroe, still sealed, seller image here. $7
Pat McGrath Labs Bronze Astral Vinyl Gloss, 0.34 fl oz, $14
Highlighter
Becca Shimmering Skin Protector liquid in Opal, BN/still sealed, $10
Becca Shimmering Skin Protector pressed in Burnished Copper, BNNU, $12
Miscellaneous
Pulp Riot Blank Canvas Hair Color Remover, Unopened, 1.5 oz packet of powder. $6
Nail Polish all full size/13-15 ml unless otherwise stared. Will require extra shipping costs
Chanel Le Vernis in Délicatesse, an opaque rose-brown. BNNU, $20. Swatch photo not mine.
Chanel Le Vernis in Paparazzi, described as a “plummy brown with copper pearl. BNNU, $20. Swatch photo from Temptalia website.
Chaos and Crocodiles in Wishing Star Sky, probably a few years old. Swatch photo. $6
LynB Designs Fishing With No Bait, golden peach linear holo, used for one mani, $6 photo from blogger Naked Without Polish.
LynB Designs, L - R Sage It Ain’t So, Rustworthy, Gamboge You Don’t, all BNNU from Tonally Awesome collection. See pictures from site of Sage It Ain’t So, Rustworthy, and Gamboge You Don’t. $7 each, will bundle.
Moon Shine Mani Nail Polish. Click on shade for swatch photos. And Then There Were None , The Geller Cup, The King of Bad Thanksgivings, North by Northwest. BNNU, $8 each; will bundle multiples
OPI Visions of Georgia Greens, shimmery green/pink duochrome. BNNU, $6. blogger swatch photo
All Sally Hansen BNNU, now $5 each
Sally Hansen Color Therapy in Plum Euphoria, Multichrome shifts purple-blue-green. Swatch photo not mine
Sally Hansen Miracle Gel in Combustealable. Swatch photo not mine.
Sally Hansen Miracle Gel Hyp-nautical, blue/purple/fuchsia multichrome, See stock photo here
Perfume
I have a spreadsheet of indie sample and full-size perfumes/other indie products here if you are interested.

So… this has always been something I’ve had a hard time with and would like to get some insight. When I was 12 I discovered MCR- that was 19 years ago. My sister was 2 years younger than me and we both became obsessed with them. My youngest aunt who is just 10 years older than me introduced me at a younger age to her music- cradle of filth, smashing pumpkins, Alice In Chains, RHCP, evanescence, etc. I was already into all of that but when I discovered MCR, I felt like it was mine. like I had discovered something that was no one else’s and completely identified with their style, emotions, music, etc. We got the revenge CD and fell in love with every song, immediately we HAD to find out more about this band, so we went to Target and got the Bullets CD and fuck, that was even better. Went to our first concert in 2007, my mom was waiting for us in the car and their manager saw her, asked her ‘are you here for the concert?’ And she said ‘no I’m just waiting for my daughters’ she was wearing an MCR shirt and he said ‘do you wanna see the show?’ And of course she said yes, he weaseled her backstage, she took pictures of their instruments, bus, equipment, stage, and then they sat her in the audio/lights section and she enjoyed the show from there. She didn’t meet the guys but that was MORE THAN ENOUGH. We were enjoying the show without knowing any of this because we had flip phones and we couldn’t txt or send pictures without getting charged- we were just supposed to call her when the show was over. When we left, we met my mom at the car and when she showed us the pictures, we completely lost it- hugged, jumped around, and cried. How amazing and well deserved. Got the originally umbrella academy, every poster I saw at Walmart, FYE, hot topic, etc. plastered them in my room. Got band tee shirts from hot topic, My Chemical Romance was everything for us. Not only was the music the best music I’ve ever heard, but their messages in interviews shaped the way I am today still. Gerard saying they didn’t like groupies and to say FUCK YOU to anyone in a band that was trying to take advantage of you. They were/are always so unproblematic (although HUMAN duh) and kind. Bullets and Revenge shaped me, TBP came around and I recorded their MTV debut just in case I was gonna miss it, but of course I didn’t. Watching them perform TBP for the first time live at the VMAs on top of a building felt… weird. I was 14/15 at that time and I didn’t feel a connection with this song but it was still rad! I watched the performance and felt a little empty but still loved them. My sister was in middle school and I was in high school at this point- she shared such a nice story with me and how we gained a bestfriend. She was in PE and had a really sad face (she was also wearing H.I.M. shoes iykyk) a random girl came up to her and asked her what was wrong and why was she so sad? Her response ‘my favorite band is not the same’ and her friend said ‘are you talking about MCR’s performance last night?’ And there they became bestfriends. MCR was always a staple in the way I did everything. I won a statewide poetry contest because of them. We eventually got used to the black parade album and loved every song but especially the B side. Wow, what a beautiful feeling and whirlwind. Eventually I got married and started to do my own thing, Killjoys/CW came out and it wasn’t really my thing but still loved them. And then they announced their breakup in 2013… I was living with my husband already and my sister called me ‘hey, go to the MCR website, read everything’ I thought it was a new better album, or new merch. Was I wrong.. I read Gerard’s open letter to his fans and fucking lost it. Especially the last paragraph- to paraphrase ‘My Chemical Romance will always live inside all of you- because it’s not a band but an idea.’ WHAT??! Are you serious? You saved my life FFS. I drove to my parents’ house immediately and went to the ‘holy grail’ our closet that had everything MCR. Took out our posters, shirts, CDs, comic books (original umbrella academy), hats, etc. I gave things away to my friends that still liked them and the rest I sold at a yard sale. Other stuff I took to Goodwill. My sister CONVINCED me to keep the discography so I gave them to her and told her to keep it in a safe place where I couldn’t see it. Man.. why did it hurt so much? Why did a band make me feel so much pain? Thank God she saved the CDs because I hate myself for all of this. I stopped listening to them and kept it moving. Don’t know any of Gerard’s hesitant aliens songs or any dunes songs. I just ignored all the noise and moved through life as of MCR never existed. They got back together in 2019 and coincidentally I was going though my divorce, my sister called me and she was gonna buy tickets to see them but we weren’t lucky enough. Our bestfriend was living in LA and went and sent us videos. Wow how lucky! I got hooked again and eventually we bought tickets to 2 shows on the east coast and we saw them twice. They sand Vapore Will Never Hurt you… my favorite song on the world. I cannot descruce our emotions. I love my sister and this as more than I love anything else. I kicked myself over the merch and stuff I gave away for so long but idc anymore. I don’t even care if they don’t have a new album, if they are happy- I’m happy. I would hate for them to feel the pressure again to just pop a random album. I love MCE with every single one of my veins until the day I take my last breath.

I was pouring drink number three when my phone rang… I'm 20 years old, a little drunk and in about an hour, I will have almost shot my colleague in the chest in front of three police officers and two frozen dead bodies. Weird. I can't say that I'm mentally ready for what I'm about to see this evening, who’s ever really ready to walk into a garage with a Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullets and two frozen gang bangers inside. My name is Grant and These are My Funeral Home Stories.
Chapter Two: three drinks, Two dead & One Candy Bar
It's about six o'clock on the 3rd Tuesday in February and factoring in the windchill, it's negative 14 degrees outside. I've been off of work for about an hour and I'm not on call tonight…So naturally, I'm just finishing up my second drink and considering whether to order pizza or Chinese tonight. I use my finger to stop by drink from bubbling over and the phone rings. It’s Andy, one of the directors from the funeral home that’s on call when Ned and I are off AND apparently the person he's on call with this evening is unreachable…If it's your job to be on call, you don't want this to happen. It's almost the equivalent of a no call no show at any other job. If you're on call, the only thing you have to do is wait for the phone to ring and when it does ring, you answer it. It’s really not that hard.
Andy is calling me to ask if I would fill in and go on a police call with him. There was a shooting and apparently there are two frozen dead bodies in a car… inside the police station. OK. Why are they at the police station? Great question. Apparently it was too cold outside to investigate and process the crime scene so they moved the crime scene into a heated garage inside a police station. This all sounds incredibly interesting to me but there's only one problem… I'm drunk. Well, on my way to drunk and I'm not old enough to drink. I'm not going anywhere near a police station. I explained to Andy that I'm in no condition to drive to the funeral home and he'd have to find someone else. He interrupted me and said, “ but you're not old enough to drink. Stay put. I'm picking you up. See you in 10.” He hung up the phone before I had time to argue.
Welp. Looks like I'm going to the police station against all better judgment. I finish my third drink as I put on my black 3 button double breasted black suit by Chaps that I picked up at Kohls. (Side note: all my other suits were at the dry cleaners. I hate this suit. It makes me look like a walking rectangle.) It's our funeral home’s policy that we dress cleanly and professionally while in public. This means you ruin a lot of good dress clothes but at least you look sharp… and you can write off your dry cleaning as a job related expense.
I run a razor over my face sans shaving cream because I’m in a hurry and our funeral home also has a strict no facial hair policy. No mustaches, no goatees and definitely no beards. I'm not sure why this is a rule, It just is. I take an extra long look at myself in the mirror to make sure I have myself in order. The last thing I want to do tonight is walk into a police station looking like a sloppy, drunk unshaven underage mess. Could I get fired for getting an underage drinking ticket while on a death call? I sure hope not. I hear a horn honking in the driveway. I peak out the front window, Andy’s out front in our 2004 black Pontiac minivan. It’s a pretty slick…Instead of back seats, our van has a polished oak floor with rollers spaced evenly down the length of the van. These rollers aid in sliding caskets in and out without scratching the van or caskets.
I’m almost ready. I decided to wear a heavy wool four button top coat, scarf and rubberized dress boots by Ecco, all black of course. (Side note: Always spend extra money on ‘nicer’ boots. You don't want your socks wet on death calls.) Although I hate the suit I have on, I am wearing my favorite necktie. It's white, black and navy blue diagonally striped made from handwoven silk by Ralph Lauren. Very sharp. Remember this tie… my favorite tie, it’ll come up again later. On my way out the door I stuffed a handful of garlic flavored chips in my mouth and pulled a Nestle Butterfinger candy bar out of the pantry. The garlic will help cover up the three Jack and Cokes I just had and put a little food in my stomach. The Butterfinger…well, that's my reward. I'll eat it on the way home. I fucking love Butterfingers and why not reward myself for what I'm about to do? I'm not even on call tonight. I deserve it.
From my house to the police station, it’s about 10 minutes… a straight shot with no traffic. Andy starts nervously giggling almost immediately when my door closes and buckle my seatbelt. Funeral Directors are generally interesting people but our pal, Andy, he's a real card. I'm going to tell you a few things about Andy and hopefully won't sound too judgmental in the process. Andy had a gastric bypass surgery three years ago and as has lost about 150 pounds andI don't think he's gone clothes shopping since his weight loss. All of his suits look like they're about five sizes too big. His skin is loose around his jawline giving him a permanent droopy dog expression. It's weird seeing someone whose clothes and skin don't fit their body. He's a nervous guy and he's always afraid of getting in trouble…but somehow he's blindly confident. That's it for the positives.
Andy talks the most deliberate and malicious shit about everyone in the office. It's pathological at this point, I'm not sure he's even aware of it. You really have to watch what you say around this guy… I mean, if you don't want it repeated or used against you, don't say it around Andy. Andy's jumped from funeral home to funeral home around the country settling in towns just long enough to fuck things up and make a quick exit. He’s was a total creep and we found out a few years later that he was stealing from one of our funeral homes. He had his moments but for the most part, I didn't want anything to do with this guy…Especially after drinking almost half of my $36 bottle of Gentleman Jack. Actually, I'm probably just drunk enough to enjoy his company.
We turn on to Roosevelt, the police station is on our right. Andy has managed to keep the van under control even with the several inches of black ice and snow covering the roads. Andy tells me that we're to call a number when we're outside the police station parking garage and an officer will open the giant chain gate to let us in. The car with the dead bodies is in a separate heated garage inside the building to thaw out for processing.
It just dawned on me, I'm kind of hammered and last time I checked I'm still not old enough to drink… I feel my anxiety levels rising…I’m not super eager to walk into a police station in my current condition. My plan is to keep my head down and stay as far out of the officers’ breath smelling distance as possible. I'm so happy I decided to eat those chips before I left. I can still taste the garlic. Garlic breath is better than booze breath. I'm fairly certain they won't lock me up for having bad breath.
Andy calls the number, the gate opens and we drive down a pretty drastic slope and enter the garage filled with a fleet of police cars. There must be 40 decked out Chevy Impalas polished up and ready for dispatch. We pull forward and an officer signals us to stop next to a plain gray door in the center of a the cinder block wall on our right. Andy loaded two stretchers in the van this evening. One standard, one oversized, we get out of the van and unload both without incident. The officer walks to the back of the van and tells us to follow him.
We walk through the gray door and quickly move through three different beige hallways, no windows, just ugly plain cinderblock. I realized that I've completely lost my bearings. When we come to the end of the hallway with another gray door. I feel a combination of claustrophobia and vertigo hit me all at once or maybe that was drink number three kickin’ in. The officer opens the door and Andy and I wheel our stretchers into a 20 by 20 garage lit by the brightest fluorescent lights I've ever experienced. The temperature of the light in this room is unnerving among other things.
'Welcome to the crime lab garage' I think to myself. Immediately upon entering the room, I'm almost knocked to the floor by a smell that burns my nasal cavities. It wasn't the smell of rotting flesh or piss and shit, I’ve smelled all those things before. This was new. It’s so unique but the more Im exposed to it the more I realize I’ve smelled this before at the funeral home but I can’t place it….Then it hits me almost as intensely as the smell itself. Ammonia, that's it! It smells like someone took two or three large bottles of ammonia and just poured them all over the room. I look at Andy as we park the stretchers. We make eye contact and I pointed my nose while simultaneously making a confused face. “What the fuck is that?” I whisper.
Andy pulls two pair of blue heavy duty surgical gloves out of the front pocket of his stretcher, hands me a pair and then proceeds to blow my mind. He quietly tells me that the strong ammonia odor is coming from the blood. Apparently when someone dies suddenly all the blood cells in the body make one last screaming effort to stay alive and dump a ton of waste into the bloodstream. The waste is what gives the blood a strong scent of ammonia. You know when someone says they can smell blood in a movie or TV show? I think If this is what they're talking about.
Now that I have my gloves on and have adjusted to the smell, I take off my overcoat and suit jacket and tuck my tie between two buttons on my white dress shirt. This is simply precautionary. There is nothing worse than dipping your tie into something gross. It's almost always UNcleanable.
In this moment, I'm able to take in my surroundings. Perhaps it's the alcohol but something feels off. Under rows and rows of fluorescent lights there’s a maroon Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullet holes with all four of its doors and trunk wide open. Upon initial inspection, my eyes are drawn to two dead men in the backseat and rusted hood with a smattering of bullet holes. It seems that most of the shots were through the windshield, windows and door panels.The windshield is barely able to hold itself up.
Andy and I walk around the car to figure out our plan of attack. He flips open a black vinyl body bag, unzips it and places it on the ground next to the car and he tells me his plan. “If they’re frozen in a seated position, we won't be able to move em that easily… So we'll wiggle them out, lay them on the body bags and zip up the disaster pouch around them.” This sounds good to me. We move in.
We decided to start with the body in the driver's side backseat. The door’s already open and the hinges appear to be hyper extended. The crime scene techs probably bent the hinges while they were scrubbing the scene. Now up close, I’m finally able to take in the two dead men sitting in the backseat in front of me. These guys must have been a couple years older than me, both wearing Timberlands, black jeans and black jackets… like big puffy down jackets. One man has a New Era baseball cap on backwards while the other has a black stocking cap atop his head. I didn't see any logos but the brain matter, bullet holes and blood may have made it hard to notice. The ammonia smell inside the car is completely overwhelming. Blood is literally covering everything in the backseat. Chunks of thawing brain and meat are all over the headrest. I pick up a piece near the seat belt and squeeze it with my middle finger and thumb. It's still a little frozen so it crunches a bit before turning into mush between my fingers. I wiped my hand on a clean part of the interior.
Bullet holes are weird…For something that can end your life so quickly, they don't leave much of a mark on their way in…BUT the way out is a totally different story. I have no idea how many times these men were shot but they’re covered and destroyed by bullet holes. Chin, hands, thighs under the eyeballs and everywhere else. There wasn’t a part of either of these men’s bodies that didn’t have at least one bullet hole… I didn't see their feet though…if I’m being completely transparent.
This is gore. This is a complete horror show. Someone wanted these men dead… like seriously dead. Was it the driver or could it have been the front seat passenger? There must have been someone sitting in the front seat, right? Why else would two grown men sit in the backseat together if there was an open front seat? By the number of holes, I come to the conclusion that at least two people had to have shot up this car….Far too many holes for one shooter and it was definitely people they thought they were close to…
With half my body in the car, the smell of ammonia is blending with the smell of shit…which is undoubtedly oozing from one or all of the many holes in these men's stomachs. Thankfully, the taste of the garlic chips and whiskey I had earlier keeping me from gagging. Both men looked like they were sleeping like someone's dad or brother in the backseat on a road trip but riddled with holes and covered and smelly blood and falling human chunks.
There's only enough room for one of us in the car’s backseat door opening so Andy gets in the driver's seat backwards and reaches back around the front seat to help shimmy the body out. I press the button and unbuckle the seatbelt, it whips back into its home position startling Andy and I. Everything in this car is covered with blood or some sort of human matter. My gloves are literally covered in blood from just unbuckling the seatbelt and now the taste of the ammonia smell is dripping its way into my mouth through my throat. The officers are having some sort of quiet discussion standing by the door we came in earlier. It's not uncommon for police officers to be completely apathetic about crime scenes when the funeral home arrives. The investigation is basically over tonight these officers couldn't care less about their scene. They just wanted to get these bodies moved out of the garage so they could get home to their families. I get that… but their lack of supervision is troubling, especially with what happens next.
I am now completely hunched over the body in the back passenger seat while Andy is supervising from the front turned around in the driver's seat with his gloved hands on the headrest. I tell Andy that I think I'm strong enough to grab this man’s right forearm and slide his body out on my own. When I grabbed the man's forearm, I immediately feel something isn't right. I've grabbed lots of dead people's forearms before. None felt like this though. It was so hard and rigid….don’t get me wrong I understand this man is frozen BUT whatever I'm grabbing on to isn't human. It's something else. It's hard and feels like metal one of those cheap metal canes you'd buy at a drugstore. The three drinks circulating through my bloodstream make me curious but pensive. I tell Andy that I'm not touching a man's arm and that there's something else in this man’s jacket.
I interrupted the police officers conversation. “Hey, something isn't right here.” An officer and I switch places as he pulls out a tactical knife and starts cutting away the sleeve to the blood soaked down jacket. “It’s a FUCKING GUN.” I look over his shoulder and see the open sleeve of a jacket revealing a sawed off shotgun. The inside of the coat was some sort of bright orange material so the short barrel of the shotgun stand out…and so did the trigger but not because of its color. It stood out because of frozen dead man’s finger hooked over and frozen around it. Did I mention the gun was cocked. This means that the slightest movement would have caused a sudden discharge… The gun would have fired directly into the driver's seat, the seat where Andy was supervising from AND apparently Andy and I noticed this at the same time.
The next sound we hear was an officer saying, “Gun! Loaded gun!”
Andy and I step back while the officers deal with the gun… he's freaked out…I can tell by the blotchy greenish yellow color he skin has turned in the last 30 seconds. Andy says, “I don't like guns. I don't like guns.”
“It's cool, man. Nobody got shot.” I say not being too sympathetic. I'm definitely drunk now and the idea of a frozen dead man shooting my partner in the chest is kind of hilarious, even if it would have been my fault. I giggle internally. Andy quickly moves towards the door and says, “I need to get some fresh air” and scurries out like an asshole letting the door slam behind him. Almost at the same moment the door closed. The three officers approached me from behind, “We got it out….It was loaded. Your buddy's lucky you didn’t shoot him in the chest.” I just snicker and tell the officers my partner needed some air and that I'll make the removals myself. How hard could it be? I'll just grab and pull.
Frozen bodies move in one piece while regular room temperature bodies are just floppy deadweight. These fellas are frozen solid…they felt like moving a heavy chair or peculiar shaped table out of your friend's car. Square peg in round holes, it was actually considerably easier than I anticipated.
The sound of the two bodies hitting a cold cement after pulling them out was very satisfying…a simple loud hollow frozen thud. I'm surrounded by awfulness and all I can think about is how proud I am that I just handled this crime scene on my own. I can't wait to eat that Butterfinger waiting for me in the car. It's a fitting reward but also something to get rid of this ammonia and garlic taste overpowering my senses at the moment.
Andy still hasn't come back and we're about to zip up the last body bag. An officer had put on a pair of gloves to help me maneuver the second man's rigid bent knees into the body bag. This man's body was like a complicated Tetris piece. Once in, we each grab a zipper on either side of the black vinyl bag and zip our respective ends until they meet in the middle. I nod my head at the officer and say, “That's how it's done!”
The officer looks at me sternly and says, “Did you just come from a party?” I look at him confused and respond, ”What?”
The officer tells me that he just got a waft of alcohol. “It reeks like booze over here.” I closed my mouth quickly and my heart begins to beat out of my chest. I must smell like a distillery… so much for those garlic chips. Laughing, I say, “On a Tuesday? Come on, man!” The officer stands up and says, “Let's run a tox screen on these guys to find out how fucked up they were before getting blasted.”
Looks like a dodged a bullet. How did he smell my whiskey breath over the ammonia smell? Does my breath just smell like straight rubbing alcohol? I feel bad that these dead guys got blamed for MY alcohol breath but, at least, I won't be walking out of here with an underage drinking ticket.
Calming down and feeling relieved. I looked down on my shirt and see that my necktie, my very favorite Ralph Lauren necktie, had fallen out of my shirt at some point and had been dipped into some smelly smelly blood. Fuck! Of course I ruined my favorite necktie on a night I'm not even supposed to be working. I undo the knot and throw the tie into a biohazard bag. The rest of the removal was kind of a blur because I was laser focused thinking about that Butterfinger I left in the car. The alcohol plus all the blood smell I kind of made my stomach sour. My mouth starts to water thinking about that candy bar.
One of the officers helps me wheel the stretchers out to the van in the main area of the police station parking garage. I can see exhaust coming out of our van. It's on? Did we leave the van running? I open the back of the van to find Andy laying down in the center of the wooden roller board taking up the entire back of the van. The sound startles him and he quickly jumps up to a seated position and says, “I'm sorry man, guns really freak me out. I almost got shot…. I thought I was gonna pass out.”
I notice a yellow rapper sitting next to his right leg. He noticed that I noticed. “Oh yeah, I owe you a candy bar.” He says in a nonchalant manner.
All at once, my dislike for Andy hit me like a tidal wave. I ruined my favorite tie and this asshole ate my candy bar? Andy, sensing my disappointment and anger, didn't say another word and I imagine what it would have been like if that shot gun would have gone off.
My name is Grant and these are My Funeral Home Stories.
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Just got back from Sandals Royal Curacao! This is a long review. I took over this subreddit to make it as informational as possible about the resorts, so here we go! Please feel free to ask any questions if I missed something.
 
Room:
We stayed May 22-27 in a Sunchi Swim-up Club Level room (HSUP). We were in Sunchi Building 8, which is the last building on one side of the resort. We stayed in 1253, which is the second-to-last room on the first floor. All that to say, Curacao is a long resort and you'll definitely get your steps in! But we were also right next to the dive shop, which was fantastic for us.
 
The swim-up room was amazing and highly recommended! We ended up using it more than the double infinity pool. They did a perfect job at keeping the in-room bar stocked with alcohol and juices/water. We didn't have to call for anything once. So we would hang out in the pool (which connects across buildings 7 & 8, and there is a common area) and make our own drinks. Many times we were the only ones in the pool out of all the rooms. The swim-up pool is completely private, there is no entry except through a room, and there are a lot of gorgeous plants and flowers blocking it from the other side. Hummingbirds would be 1 foot away and were fun to watch. Floats are provided for each room. Use the ice bucket to keep bottles cool outside.
 
Ordering food from Room Service was consistently 40-45 minutes. At night it was quiet, as the music from the main area doesn't really reach building 8. No one would be in the swim-up pool after 10, it would start to get a little chilly with the wind. It gets very, very dark towards the Sunchi end of the resort. I recommend using the building side to reach your room, not the garden path.
 
Two subjective complaints:
(1) Housekeeping was very late. Some days they didn't come until 4-5pm, and the evening turn-down and towel replenishment didn't happen until 10pm. Between the swim-up and shower and wet floors, you NEED towels. We supplemented with the brown pool towels, grabbing them any time we went by the other pools. The late service could be because we were in the last building, but I'm not sure. The housekeepers did do a very thorough job and the rooms were clean and new.
(2) When we first checked-in, the back door's lock looked like it was forcibly broken and mangled. We had them replace it, but it still didn't lock. There is a second set of heavy wooden doors (blinds really) that do close and lock, so we weren't overly concerned. I don't think someone tried to break in, based on how the pool would make it hard to get to. But I can see someone getting locked out accidentally and having no other option but to break the door, since you can't get out of the pool area otherwise.
 
Restaurants/Service
The service across all restaurants and bars was outstanding. We never experienced a wait or long times to get our ordedrinks. The waitstaff were happy to talk to you and literally everyone says hello as you pass by. Concierge was perfect and accommodating as well. Restaurants had most of everything, and they would tell you what they're out of as you sat down.
 
Pietra - Our go-to breakfast buffet. At lunch they change the buffet to different food by country (Asian, Mexican, American, etc.). The food was all great at lunch. I ate too many fajitas.
 
Vincent - Reservation required. I recommend the Escargots and Foie Gras. They were out of the Cured Beef Bresaola.
 
Toteki, La Palma, Kishi - Food trucks. These were great for a snack. Get the cuttlefish and shrimp from La Palma, and the General Tso's Steak Bao Buns from Kishi.
 
Strand - For dinner, absolutely get the Snapper. It was my favorite meal of the trip. My husband liked the Surf & Turf at Strand better than Butch's. Strand also has a lunch menu with American-type items on it. The shrimp Caesar wrap was a nice light lunch.
 
Butch's - Reservation required. We went twice for dinner, once for breakfast. For dinner appetizers, try the Waldorf Caesar, Crispy Goat Cheese Salad, and Grilled Black Pepper Bacon (definitely that one). The Aged Prime Rib and Chargrilled Lamb Chops were great. We also had the Surf & Turf and Steak Diane which were very good too. Absolutely get the Willy Wonka Brulee - it was my favorite dessert on the resort.
 
Gatsu Gatsu - We went twice. The sushi here is so good. It's 4 pieces per roll. I recommend the Champagne Lobster and Caribbean Dynamite rolls. Shrimp tempura and crispy chicken karaage were our favorite appetizers. They were out of edamame and tonkotsu ramen.
 
Kanaal - Nice to pop into for a cappuccino or sweets.
 
Zuka and Aolo's - did not try.
 
Note: We wanted to order champagne (Veuve Clicquot) but the resort (or at least Butch's, Kanaal, and Pietra) was out of that and several of their Proseccos. We did end up getting 2 bottles of Prosecco though.
 
Scuba Diving
Scuba was great and the team was a lot of fun. You have to do a check-out dive if you haven't logged a dive recently (they do check your log book). We did ours around 11am and were able to go on an afternoon dive the same day (we were waitlisted, but some didn't show up). You sign up for dives starting at 8am 2 days out, so if you want to dive Friday, show up on Wednesday morning at 8am to sign up. They do keep waitlists for each dive. The dive shop has lockers! Great for if your room is at the other end of the resort and you don't want to walk with your stuff every morning.
 
The dive schedule seems highly variable - while we were there, they did 2-tank morning dives Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and a 1-tank afternoon dive those days. Tuesday and Thursday they do a 1-tank morning dive, and 1-tank afternoon dive. I'm not sure about Saturday-Sunday since we weren't there. But, they said just a month ago they were only able to do 1-tank morning dives each day and no afternoon dives, as the water would get too choppy. And yes, the water was very choppy and it was windy all day. I saw a red flag or two at the resort while we were there. So you may want to check out the weather in Curacao the month you want to book.
 
They mentioned all the dive sites were 5-10 minutes away, but we were able to go Double Reef Thursday, the farthest site at 30 minutes. There were several turtles, a reef shark, squid, and a great variety of fish and coral. It was the best dive I've been in on years. However, they said it had been a month and a half since they'd been able to reach the site because of the choppiness. A couple on the boat had been able to go with an offsite-company and enter via shore, so that's an option as well.
 
City
You can take a cab from the resort to Willemstad for $49 each way. Our cab was private and air conditioned. The drivers were very nice. They dropped us off next to the CURACAO sign, and pickup was there too (they gave you a card and you call them 30 minutes before you're ready to leave). Right by the Curacao sign, there's a tiny alley with a white and blue cow - go down that alley for some great gelato. There's also an ice cream place near the sign that claims to give you an orgasm in less than a minute, but I didn't partake. There are lots of cafes and souvenir shops around Willemstad. There's a fresh fish and fruit market. You'll be near where the cruise ships dock. Check out the bridge and forts. Pop into a casino for some much-needed A/C. As an aside, a local man very persistently forced his help on us (where are you going, follow me down this alley, etc...) and wouldn't leave us alone and stop following us even after we said we knew where we were going, and ultimately asked for beer money, but the city seemed safe. There were several police officers around the streets we passed. Just be aware of your surroundings (as in any city).
 
Miscellaneous
The bus ride from/to the airport took us 40-45 minutes. It's a very nice and comfortable bus. You'll see a Sandals area at the end after you pick up your luggage. The airport was very nice and modern and quick to get through (we were first off the plane though). On departure, there seemed to be only one main hot food place after security, but they have a VIP/Priority Pass lounge that had some good light food on the buffet and a hot menu to order from as well. Check if your credit card has that as a perk to avoid the long line at the other restaurant. It opens at 1pm.
 
Spa/Gym - The spa was nice and clean. You have your own private bathroom/changing area in the table room versus a general locker room. The gym had a steady flow of people, but wasn't ever too crowded.
 
Curacao is HOT in May. Seriously. It was 86 every day, with a heat index around 96-97. Now, I was born and raised in South Georgia where it gets 95 with a 110 index in the summer, but this heat hit different. The UV index on my weather app said 11. Wear sunscreen and stay in the water. And get used to being wet - it'll either be pool water, ocean, or sweat depending on your location at the resort. It was mostly sunny every day, with a few clouds in the afternoon. No rain. At night it cools off well enough. Thankfully there's always a nice breeze going on. But stay hydrated and pay attention to your skin. Walking around the city with the heat was a bit much, we started at 9 and made it to 12 before calling it quits.
 
Tl;dr
I loved it! I highly recommend a Swim-up room, but maybe ask for a central building instead of on the edge of the resort (walking that far in the extreme heat with no shade gets old fast). Great service, wonderful staff. I would pick another month to go back though. May was just too hot for me!

Shut-in of 11 years. I don't have social anxiety, but being around many people feels UNNATURAL. There's way too much going on, I wasn't made for it. After being around people for several hours I'll go home and fall right asleep for many hours. Exhausted, back pain, tense jaw, swollen feeling in my hands, headache. Bright white headache-inducing office-style lights, constant buzzing from people talking, having to be in "ready to be talked to" mode for several hours, and not being able to escape to the bathroom to take a breather. Uncomfortable clammy air. It's all so unnatural. I can't describe it. I even get a headache, feel sore and have back pain the day after, I swear I get "hungover" after being around many people.
I'm not lazy. I WFH sometimes and can pull 8-10 hour shifts. I exercise for an hour daily. My place looks spotless and tidy. But if there are days I have to socialize with many people, maybe even multiple days in a row? Forget it. My room turns into a disaster, my body feels too exhausted to work out, I turn to fast food, too tired to read, ALL of my energy is used up on these social interactions.

Pirates @ Mariners - Sun, May 28

Game Status: Game Over - Score: 6-3 Mariners

Links & Info

• MLB Gameday
• Game Graphs
• Savant Gamefeed

	Pirates Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	McCutchen - RF	4	1	1	0	1	0	3	.267	.363	.453
2	Reynolds, B - DH	5	1	2	1	0	1	3	.290	.343	.513
3	Joe - 1B	5	0	0	0	0	3	5	.241	.337	.455
4	Santana - 1B	2	0	0	0	1	0	0	.226	.322	.356
	Suwinski - LF	1	0	0	0	1	1	2	.232	.349	.478
5	Castro, R - 2B	3	0	0	0	2	1	2	.254	.364	.424
6	Hayes - 3B	5	0	0	0	0	4	6	.221	.275	.344
7	Bae - CF	4	1	2	0	0	1	1	.275	.329	.370
8	Owings - SS	3	0	1	0	0	1	0	.190	.190	.190
	a-Marcano - SS	1	0	0	0	0	0	1	.262	.333	.464
9	Hedges - C	2	0	1	1	0	0	0	.169	.239	.205
	b-Palacios, J - PH	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	.250	.318	.250
	Delay - C	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	.318	.370	.455
	Totals	35	3	7	2	6	12	23

Pirates
a-Flied out for Owings in the 9th. b-Walked for Hedges in the 9th.
BATTING: 2B: Bae (7, Gott). 3B: Reynolds, B (3, Topa). TB: Bae 3; Hedges; McCutchen; Owings; Reynolds, B 4. RBI: Hedges (8); Reynolds, B (33). Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Hayes 4; Joe. SF: Hedges. GIDP: McCutchen. Team RISP: 2-for-12. Team LOB: 10.

	Mariners Batters	AB	R	H	RBI	BB	K	LOB	AVG	OBP	SLG
1	Crawford, J - SS	4	2	1	0	1	1	1	.254	.365	.370
2	France, T - 1B	5	0	0	0	0	1	3	.260	.341	.410
3	Rodríguez, Ju - CF	5	1	2	1	0	1	2	.242	.307	.436
4	Kelenic - LF	3	1	1	1	2	1	2	.278	.337	.524
5	Suárez, E - 3B	4	1	1	3	1	1	3	.219	.325	.337
6	Raleigh - C	4	1	1	1	0	1	2	.238	.322	.456
7	Hernández, T - RF	4	0	1	0	0	2	0	.233	.269	.403
8	Murphy, To - C	2	0	0	0	1	1	1	.213	.250	.361
	a-Trammell - PH	1	0	0	0	0	1	0	.150	.277	.375
	Saucedo - P	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	.000	.000	.000
9	Caballero - 2B	4	0	0	0	0	1	2	.261	.376	.391
	Totals	36	6	7	6	5	11	16

Mariners
a-Struck out for Murphy, To in the 9th.
BATTING: 2B: Kelenic (14, Ortiz, L.L.). HR: Rodríguez, Ju (9, 1st inning off Ortiz, L.L., 0 on, 2 out); Raleigh (8, 4th inning off Ortiz, L.L., 0 on, 0 out); Suárez, E (6, 10th inning off Stephenson, R, 2 on, 2 out). TB: Crawford, J; Hernández, T; Kelenic 2; Raleigh 4; Rodríguez, Ju 5; Suárez, E 4. RBI: Kelenic (26); Raleigh (25); Rodríguez, Ju (28); Suárez, E 3 (34). 2-out RBI: Rodríguez, Ju; Suárez, E 3; Kelenic. Runners left in scoring position, 2 out: Suárez, E; Crawford, J; Raleigh. Team RISP: 2-for-10. Team LOB: 7.
FIELDING: E: Crawford, J (6, throw). DP: (Crawford, J-Caballero-France, T).

Pirates Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Ortiz, L.L.	5.0	5	3	3	4	6	2	99-60	4.35
Contreras	2.0	1	0	0	0	1	0	22-16	4.33
Holderman	1.0	0	0	0	0	2	0	14-11	2.33
Bednar	1.0	0	0	0	0	1	0	11-8	1.35
Stephenson, R (L, 0-3)	0.2	1	3	2	1	1	1	10-7	5.54
Totals	9.2	7	6	5	5	11	3

Mariners Pitchers	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	HR	P-S	ERA
Gonzales	5.2	3	1	1	3	4	0	90-57	5.22
Brash (H, 5)	0.1	0	0	0	0	1	0	5-4	4.57
Speier (H, 7)	1.0	0	0	0	0	1	0	8-5	2.79
Topa (H, 10)	0.1	2	2	2	0	1	0	16-11	3.48
Sewald (BS, 1)	0.2	0	0	0	1	2	0	15-10	3.09
Gott	1.0	1	0	0	1	0	0	9-5	1.82
Saucedo (W, 2-0)	1.0	1	0	0	1	3	0	20-12	0.82
Totals	10.0	7	3	3	6	12	0

Game Info
WP: Ortiz, L.L.; Brash; Sewald.
IBB: Castro, R (by Saucedo); Kelenic (by Stephenson, R).
Pitches-strikes: Ortiz, L.L. 99-60; Contreras 22-16; Holderman 14-11; Bednar 11-8; Stephenson, R 10-7; Gonzales 90-57; Brash 5-4; Speier 8-5; Topa 16-11; Sewald 15-10; Gott 9-5; Saucedo 20-12.
Groundouts-flyouts: Ortiz, L.L. 3-4; Contreras 3-1; Holderman 0-0; Bednar 1-0; Stephenson, R 1-0; Gonzales 3-5; Brash 0-0; Speier 1-1; Topa 0-0; Sewald 0-0; Gott 1-1; Saucedo 0-0.
Batters faced: Ortiz, L.L. 24; Contreras 7; Holderman 3; Bednar 3; Stephenson, R 4; Gonzales 23; Brash 1; Speier 3; Topa 3; Sewald 3; Gott 4; Saucedo 5.
Inherited runners-scored: Brash 1-0; Sewald 1-1.
Umpires: HP: Marvin Hudson. 1B: Hunter Wendelstedt. 2B: John Tumpane. 3B: Ryan Blakney.
Weather: 56 degrees, Cloudy.
Wind: 6 mph, Out To RF.
First pitch: 1:11 PM.
T: 2:54.
Att: 38,219.
Venue: T-Mobile Park.
May 28, 2023

Inning	Scoring Play	Score
Bottom 1	Julio Rodriguez homers (9) on a fly ball to left field.	1-0 SEA
Bottom 4	Cal Raleigh homers (8) on a fly ball to right field.	2-0 SEA
Top 5	Austin Hedges out on a sacrifice fly to left fielder Jarred Kelenic. Ji Hwan Bae scores.	2-1 SEA
Bottom 5	Jarred Kelenic doubles (14) on a sharp line drive to left fielder Connor Joe. J.P. Crawford scores.	3-1 SEA
Top 8	Bryan Reynolds triples (3) on a ground ball to right fielder Teoscar Hernandez. Andrew McCutchen scores.	3-2 SEA
Top 8	Jack Suwinski walks. Bryan Reynolds scores. Wild pitch by pitcher Paul Sewald.	3-3
Bottom 10	Eugenio Suarez homers (6) on a fly ball to left field. J.P. Crawford scores. Jarred Kelenic scores.	6-3 SEA

Team	Highlight
PIT	Bullpen availability for Pittsburgh, May 28 vs Mariners (00:00:07)
SEA	Bullpen availability for Seattle, May 28 vs Pirates (00:00:07)
SEA	Fielding alignment for Seattle, May 28 vs Pirates (00:00:11)
SEA	Starting lineups for Pirates at Mariners - May 28, 2023 (00:00:09)
PIT	Fielding alignment for Pittsburgh, May 28 vs Mariners (00:00:11)
PIT	Luis L. Ortiz's outing against the Mariners (00:00:23)
SEA	Julio Rodríguez's solo homer (9) (00:00:31)
SEA	Cal Raleigh's solo homer (8) (00:00:29)
PIT	Austin Hedges' sac fly (00:00:19)
SEA	Jarred Kelenic's RBI double (00:00:26)
	Ji Hwan Bae's diving catch (00:00:16)
PIT	Cal Raleigh grounds out, third baseman Ke'Bryan Hayes to first baseman Carlos Santana. (00:00:11)
SEA	Marco Gonzalez's four strikeouts (00:01:10)
PIT	Luis L. Ortiz's six strikeouts (00:00:43)
PIT	Bryan Reynolds' RBI triple (00:00:22)
PIT	Reynolds scores on wild pitch (00:00:06)
PIT	Paul Sewald Called Strike to Ke'Bryan Hayes (00:00:12)
PIT	Roansy Contreras K's Crawford (00:00:12)
PIT	Ji-Hwan Bae's running catch (00:00:20)
SEA	Tayler Saucedo escapes jam (00:00:08)

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10		R	H	E	LOB
Pirates	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	2	0	0		3	7	0	10
Mariners	1	0	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	3		6	7	1	7

Decisions

• Winner: Tayler Saucedo (2-0, 0.82)
• Loser: Robert Stephenson (0-3, 5.54)

Division Scoreboard

STL 3 @ CLE 4 - Final
SF 5 @ MIL 7 - Final
CIN 8 @ CHC 5 - Final
Next Pirates Game: Mon, May 29, 05:05 PM EDT @ Giants
^{Posted: 05/28/2023 07:06:38 PM EDT}

Lost is a huge show that took me over a year to watch from start to finish, so of course there is an incredible amount I could say about it, so I'm trying to just jot down the thoughts that seem the most relevant to me, in ascending order of significance.

1. Season 6 is really not that bad. The writers clearly get carried away with asking new questions instead of answering old questions. They make things very misleading. Still, I enjoyed Season 6 pretty thoroughly.
   
2. 3 = 1 > 4 > 5 > 2 > 6.
   
3. I agree strongly with the general consensus that "The Constant" is the best episode in the series. It is near perfect episode which comes completely out of left field.
   
4. Kate as a character was grossly mishandled, Evangeline Lily had every right to be pissed off with the writers of the show as she was. I don't know how anyone on the writing team thought this constant backstabbing + love triangle back and forth thing was beneficial to the show.
   
5. This is by far the thing that stands out to me the most after finishing:
   

I think the alternating between soap opera and scifi was awful for the show. I get that the TV audience was half women at least, and a lot of women love relationship drama / baby storylines, but as a man who hates soap opera TV, it felt like the show was just 40-50% throwaway filler.
For my money, the editors could have directly deleted all the episodes about Jin and Sun, and all the episodes about Kate, The Libby/Hurley episodes, SawyeJuliet episodes, and the show would just be twice as good.
When I first tried watching Lost 10 years ago, I saw the first Soap Opera style episode, hated it, turned the show off, and didn't come back until a good friend of mine told me that the soap opera episodes are just randomly mixed in with the scifi / adventure drama episodes, and that the show is still otherwise good.
I think it's baffling that instead of trying to strike a nice balance of feminine / masculine storytelling in the show, or to just make the entire show lean one way or the other, it is all spread out as "Scifi, Soap, scifi, scifi, soap, scifi, soap, soap, scifi, scifi, scifi, soap, soap, etc." I don't understand who this format was supposed to appeal to, but it certainly wasn't me, and it almost ruined the show repeatedly for me.
Still, overall, I really enjoyed the show, and am glad to have watched it. It certainly was not what I was expecting the show to turn out like when I put it down 10 years ago.

So I went into to a chess meetup to, well, play chess. The meetup isn't competitive or anything is just casual chess for fun.
I sat on a table and waited for an oppenet. 2 girls (they looked in their late 20's), than came to my table, they were friends and were new to chess and sat to play with me, one in front of me and another near me. Than some other guy came up and sat to play with the other girl. Everything was normal, he was teaching the other girl how to play chess while I was playing chess with the girl in front of me and everything was going well.
We had a great time, the first 20 minutes at least, it was actually fun, we were all just laughing and talking. I made a couple jokes which were not insulting whatsoever but than he got a bit verbally aggressive over them and asked: "wtf is wrong with you". I want to say it again, they were not insulting towards anyone and anything, they didn't even contain any swear words and were simply about the games we were playing, they were very clear and somewhat formal. I felt like he thought they were hurting his image or something, this was the first red flag. Than I noticed that he seemed a bit obsessed with the girl he was playing with which was slowly escalating and he seemed.. desperate, afraid and yet exited to start asking her questions, or at least that was my impression. Nothing out of the ordinary with liking someone but the fact that it was happening at a chess meetup was both disrespectfull towards the meetup and the girls since we all just wanted to have a good time. We played a bit, I even played with the other guy 1 game and I won in like 1 minute because we decided to play a quick game. After that we played another one and I resigned in first 20 seconds because I did not like my position although I was up material; It also was simply not fun for me, nor the girls and he was insultive towards me after he won and I felt that he got a huge ego boost out of that since I was higher rated. Everytime I was making a suggestion for the girl to play and it wasn't good enough he'd insult my move and point out how HORRIBLE it was which was again, very insulting and ruined the athmosphere and yet whenever he was talking to the girls he seemed like he was talking to a fucking Diety. I decided to leave to find another opponent. I played with 2 lads, won once, lost twice, it was great but than I couldn't find anyone to play.
I decided to go back to that table and I could tell the athmosphere was a bit.. strage. I sat to play with the girl he was playing the first time while the guy was playing with the girl I was playing the first time. While we were playing he was trying to make some sort of connecting with the girl and she didn't seem very comfortable talking to him but it was whatever I thought. The girl I was playing with asked the guy to stop, she said: "Can you please stop". That was a pretty big red flag but I didn't think too much of it since I wasn't too sure what was actually happening. After about 10 seconds she stood up, apologised and left. Than it hit me. I don't want to know what he was doing but I think we can all imagine it since he was sitting right next to her. After about 2 minutes the other girl said: "I don't think she's comming back I'll go check on her." - or something along the lines.
They never came back and it hurts me that they had a terrible experience because it's supposed to be a fun event, not that BS. I also felt stupid for not seeing what was happening at first and wanted to facepalm myself for that. This was my first encounter with a creep so I did not really know how to react to it. Now that I think about it, I proably should have asked the girl what was happening after she left to make sure she was alright and report him to the meetup organiser.
The next time I'm going, I will definetely tell the meetup organiser to keep an eye on him. Fuck that dude.

Please use this thread to discuss anything related to today's game. You may post anything as long as it falls within stated posting guidelines. You may also post gifs and memes, as long as it is related to the game. Please keep the discussion civil.
Discord: Seattle Sports

Line Score - Game Over

	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9	10	R	H	E	LOB
PIT	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	2	0	0	3	7	0	10
SEA	1	0	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	3	6	7	1	7

Box Score

SEA		AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	BA
SS	Crawford, J	4	2	1	0	1	1	.254
1B	France, T	5	0	0	0	0	1	.260
CF	Rodríguez, Ju	5	1	2	1	0	1	.242
LF	Kelenic	3	1	1	1	2	1	.278
3B	Suárez, E	4	1	1	3	1	1	.219
C	Raleigh	4	1	1	1	0	1	.238
RF	Hernández, T	4	0	1	0	0	2	.233
C	Murphy, To	2	0	0	0	1	1	.213
PH	Trammell	1	0	0	0	0	1	.150
P	Saucedo	0	0	0	0	0	0	.000
2B	Caballero	4	0	0	0	0	1	.261

SEA	IP	H	R	ER	BB	SO	P-S	ERA
Gonzales	5.2	3	1	1	3	4	90-57	5.22
Brash	0.1	0	0	0	0	1	5-4	4.57
Speier	1.0	0	0	0	0	1	8-5	2.79
Topa	0.1	2	2	2	0	1	16-11	3.48
Sewald	0.2	0	0	0	1	2	15-10	3.09
Gott	1.0	1	0	0	1	0	9-5	1.82
Saucedo	1.0	1	0	0	1	3	20-12	0.82

PIT		AB	R	H	RBI	BB	SO	BA
RF	McCutchen	4	1	1	0	1	0	.267
DH	Reynolds, B	5	1	2	1	0	1	.290
1B	Joe	5	0	0	0	0	3	.241
1B	Santana	2	0	0	0	1	0	.226
LF	Suwinski	1	0	0	0	1	1	.232
2B	Castro, R	3	0	0	0	2	1	.254
3B	Hayes	5	0	0	0	0	4	.221
CF	Bae	4	1	2	0	0	1	.275
SS	Owings	3	0	1	0	0	1	.190
SS	Marcano	1	0	0	0	0	0	.262
C	Hedges	2	0	1	1	0	0	.169
PH	Palacios, J	0	0	0	0	1	0	.250
C	Delay	0	0	0	0	0	0	.318

PIT	IP	H	R	ER	BB	SO	P-S	ERA
Ortiz, L.L.	5.0	5	3	3	4	6	99-60	4.35
Contreras	2.0	1	0	0	0	1	22-16	4.33
Holderman	1.0	0	0	0	0	2	14-11	2.33
Bednar	1.0	0	0	0	0	1	11-8	1.35
Stephenson, R	0.2	1	3	2	1	1	10-7	5.54

Scoring Plays

Inning	Event	Score
B1	Julio Rodriguez homers (9) on a fly ball to left field.	1-0
B4	Cal Raleigh homers (8) on a fly ball to right field.	2-0
T5	Austin Hedges out on a sacrifice fly to left fielder Jarred Kelenic. Ji Hwan Bae scores.	2-1
B5	Jarred Kelenic doubles (14) on a sharp line drive to left fielder Connor Joe. J.P. Crawford scores.	3-1
T8	Bryan Reynolds triples (3) on a ground ball to right fielder Teoscar Hernandez. Andrew McCutchen scores.	3-2
T8	Jack Suwinski walks. Bryan Reynolds scores. Wild pitch by pitcher Paul Sewald.	3-3
B10	Eugenio Suarez homers (6) on a fly ball to left field. J.P. Crawford scores. Jarred Kelenic scores.	6-3

Highlights

Description	Length	Video
Bullpen availability for Pittsburgh, May 28 vs Mariners	0:07	Video
Bullpen availability for Seattle, May 28 vs Pirates	0:07	Video
Fielding alignment for Seattle, May 28 vs Pirates	0:11	Video
Starting lineups for Pirates at Mariners - May 28, 2023	0:09	Video
Fielding alignment for Pittsburgh, May 28 vs Mariners	0:11	Video
Julio Rodríguez: Home Run Statcast Analysis	0:15	Video
Cal Raleigh: Home Run Statcast Analysis	0:14	Video
Breaking down Marco Gonzales's pitches	0:08	Video
Marco Gonzales's outing against the Pirates	0:23	Video
Breaking down Luis L. Ortiz's pitches	0:08	Video
Luis L. Ortiz's outing against the Mariners	0:23	Video
Julio Rodríguez crushes a solo homer to left field	0:31	Video
Cal Raleigh launches a solo homer to right field	0:29	Video
Austin Hedges lifts a sac fly to left field	0:19	Video
Jarred Kelenic lines an RBI double to left field	0:26	Video
Ji Hwan Bae makes a diving catch in center field	0:16	Video
Cal Raleigh grounds out, third baseman Ke'Bryan Hayes to first baseman Carlos Santana.	0:11	Video
Marco Gonzalez fans four in 5 2/3 innings	1:10	Video
Luis L. Ortiz fans five through five innings	0:43	Video
Bryan Reynolds rips an RBI triple to right field	0:22	Video
Bryan Reynolds scores form third on a wild pitch	0:06	Video
Paul Sewald Called Strike to Ke'Bryan Hayes	0:12	Video
Roansy Contreras fans J.P. Crawford in the 6th	0:12	Video
Ji-Hwan Bae makes a clutch running catch in center	0:20	Video
Tayler Saucedo escapes bases-loaded jam in 10th	0:08	Video

Decisions

Winning Pitcher	Losing Pitcher	Save
Saucedo (2-0, 0.82 ERA)	Stephenson, R (0-3, 5.54 ERA)

Attendance	Weather	Wind
	56°F, Cloudy	6 mph, Out To RF

HP	1B	2B	3B
Marvin Hudson	Hunter Wendelstedt	John Tumpane	Ryan Blakney

Game ended at 4:06 PM.

I’m a little flexible with prices, so if you disagree with a price, don’t feel bad about making an offer. I’d prefer to stick within US only, because international shipping is expensive and kind of a pain in the butt with customs and all that. Flat rate shipping of $5. Unless you want more than $50 worth of books, then shipping is free. Please forgive the list being such a mess. I combined a few old posts into one.
Anything that doesn’t have a picture, please ask, and I’ll happily provide!
I’m not really looking for anything in trade, unless somebody’s got the Silver Surfer Parable anniversary treasury sized hardcover they wanna trade.
Please comment to dib, and I’ll DM you to get your email so I can send an invoice.
Tomb Of Dracula Complete Collection TPB set of Volume 1, 2, 3. - True first editions from 2010/2011(All the ones I've seen on ebay are the 2017 editions, with a different cover design). The paper is not fully glossy like in the omnibus editions, and they look amazing. These three books cover the same material as Omnibus 1. These are read, but reasonably well cared for. Volume 3 has damage near the bottom of the spine, as shown in pics. Asking $130 shipped
Immortal Hulk OHC lot, books 1, 2, and 3. Book one is in excellent condition. It’s opened, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually read this copy. Books 2 and 3 are sealed and beautiful. Asking $105 shipped.
Pictures of Immortal Hulk and the now-sold Centifolia. I haven’t updated this pic
Essential Web Of Spider-Man Vol 1. $25
Essential Web Of Spider-Man Vol 2. (Cool for Kraven’s Last Hunt complete in black and white). $25
Take both EWOS for $45 shipped
Marvel’s Mightiest Superheroes VHS, flip comic reprint, silver coin of Namor. I bought this thing new, watched the tapes once, and it has slept in a closet for over 20 years. It’s pretty cool. $60
BPRD Hollow Earth & Other Stories TPB (first print). $6
Nick Fury Agent Of Shield TPB. Printed on nice, not-glossy paper. $20
Thor Masterworks 1 (Comiccraft cover). $25
Thor Masterworks 3 (Comiccraft cover). $25
Take both Thor Masterworks for $45 shipped
Doctor Strange Masterworks Vol 1 first printing. Included is an extra dust jacket for the later printing. I bought a copy of the later printing from someone on eBay, and when the book arrived, the actual book was Amazing Spider-Man Masterworks 3. I always put the newer Dr Strange dust jacket over the OG one. $60
Aliens Salvation/Sacrifice TPB. Great book. Pretty rare Mignola story/cover. $55
(Marvel) Taskmaster The Right Price. $5
Dead Dead Demon's Dededede Destruction, Vol. 1 - $2
Fingerless. Spugna. Signed $10
Lowriders Blast From The Past. $2
Spera Volume 1. $2
King Of Nowhere Vol 1. $2
Power Rangers Vol 1 TPB. $3
Hunters. $2
Blackout Vol 1 (Dark Horse) $2
Odds Off. Matt Madden. $2
Lowriders Blast From The Past. $2
Doorknocker. $2
Croc N Roll with signed bookplate and ashcan. $2
Marvelous Land Of Oz. Skottie Young. $2
Suicide Squad Rogues TP. $3
Strip Search. Dark Horse. $2
Black Candy. $2
Granny Candy. $2
The Family. Pat Higgins. $2
Becoming Horses. $3
Horror Vacation. Edition of 150. $2
Good Boy Magazine 1. $2
Ghost Hog $2
Big Book Of Thugs. $2
Scumbag For Hire. Keenan Marshall Keller. $2
A Bleeding Cut. $1
Montana Diary. $2
The Freak. $2
Gun Land 3. $2
Destroyer. Kirkman. $2
East Of West Hardcovers 1, 2, and 3. 1 and 3 are sealed. 2 is the DCBS variant and not sealed. 1 is in perfect shape. 2 looks great. 3 has a small ding on the bottom of the back cover. Asking $240 for the set. Pics
Comment if you’re interested. I’ll DM you for your email address for PayPal. IST is my standard for packing and shipping, so the books will get to you in the same shape they left me.
I usually ship within two days of payment.
Thanks for checking this out.

I was pouring drink number three when my phone rang… I'm 20 years old, a little drunk and in about an hour, I will have almost shot my colleague in the chest in front of three police officers and two frozen dead bodies. Weird. I can't say that I'm mentally ready for what I'm about to see this evening, who’s ever really ready to walk into a garage with a Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullets and two frozen gang bangers inside. My name is Grant and These are My Funeral Home Stories.
Chapter Two: three drinks, Two dead & One Candy Bar
It's about six o'clock on the 3rd Tuesday in February and factoring in the windchill, it's negative 14 degrees outside. I've been off of work for about an hour and I'm not on call tonight…So naturally, I'm just finishing up my second drink and considering whether to order pizza or Chinese tonight. I use my finger to stop by drink from bubbling over and the phone rings. It’s Andy, one of the directors from the funeral home that’s on call when Ned and I are off AND apparently the person he's on call with this evening is unreachable…If it's your job to be on call, you don't want this to happen. It's almost the equivalent of a no call no show at any other job. If you're on call, the only thing you have to do is wait for the phone to ring and when it does ring, you answer it. It’s really not that hard.
Andy is calling me to ask if I would fill in and go on a police call with him. There was a shooting and apparently there are two frozen dead bodies in a car… inside the police station. OK. Why are they at the police station? Great question. Apparently it was too cold outside to investigate and process the crime scene so they moved the crime scene into a heated garage inside a police station. This all sounds incredibly interesting to me but there's only one problem… I'm drunk. Well, on my way to drunk and I'm not old enough to drink. I'm not going anywhere near a police station. I explained to Andy that I'm in no condition to drive to the funeral home and he'd have to find someone else. He interrupted me and said, “ but you're not old enough to drink. Stay put. I'm picking you up. See you in 10.” He hung up the phone before I had time to argue.
Welp. Looks like I'm going to the police station against all better judgment. I finish my third drink as I put on my black 3 button double breasted black suit by Chaps that I picked up at Kohls. (Side note: all my other suits were at the dry cleaners. I hate this suit. It makes me look like a walking rectangle.) It's our funeral home’s policy that we dress cleanly and professionally while in public. This means you ruin a lot of good dress clothes but at least you look sharp… and you can write off your dry cleaning as a job related expense.
I run a razor over my face sans shaving cream because I’m in a hurry and our funeral home also has a strict no facial hair policy. No mustaches, no goatees and definitely no beards. I'm not sure why this is a rule, It just is. I take an extra long look at myself in the mirror to make sure I have myself in order. The last thing I want to do tonight is walk into a police station looking like a sloppy, drunk unshaven underage mess. Could I get fired for getting an underage drinking ticket while on a death call? I sure hope not. I hear a horn honking in the driveway. I peak out the front window, Andy’s out front in our 2004 black Pontiac minivan. It’s a pretty slick…Instead of back seats, our van has a polished oak floor with rollers spaced evenly down the length of the van. These rollers aid in sliding caskets in and out without scratching the van or caskets.
I’m almost ready. I decided to wear a heavy wool four button top coat, scarf and rubberized dress boots by Ecco, all black of course. (Side note: Always spend extra money on ‘nicer’ boots. You don't want your socks wet on death calls.) Although I hate the suit I have on, I am wearing my favorite necktie. It's white, black and navy blue diagonally striped made from handwoven silk by Ralph Lauren. Very sharp. Remember this tie… my favorite tie, it’ll come up again later. On my way out the door I stuffed a handful of garlic flavored chips in my mouth and pulled a Nestle Butterfinger candy bar out of the pantry. The garlic will help cover up the three Jack and Cokes I just had and put a little food in my stomach. The Butterfinger…well, that's my reward. I'll eat it on the way home. I fucking love Butterfingers and why not reward myself for what I'm about to do? I'm not even on call tonight. I deserve it.
From my house to the police station, it’s about 10 minutes… a straight shot with no traffic. Andy starts nervously giggling almost immediately when my door closes and buckle my seatbelt. Funeral Directors are generally interesting people but our pal, Andy, he's a real card. I'm going to tell you a few things about Andy and hopefully won't sound too judgmental in the process. Andy had a gastric bypass surgery three years ago and as has lost about 150 pounds andI don't think he's gone clothes shopping since his weight loss. All of his suits look like they're about five sizes too big. His skin is loose around his jawline giving him a permanent droopy dog expression. It's weird seeing someone whose clothes and skin don't fit their body. He's a nervous guy and he's always afraid of getting in trouble…but somehow he's blindly confident. That's it for the positives.
Andy talks the most deliberate and malicious shit about everyone in the office. It's pathological at this point, I'm not sure he's even aware of it. You really have to watch what you say around this guy… I mean, if you don't want it repeated or used against you, don't say it around Andy. Andy's jumped from funeral home to funeral home around the country settling in towns just long enough to fuck things up and make a quick exit. He’s was a total creep and we found out a few years later that he was stealing from one of our funeral homes. He had his moments but for the most part, I didn't want anything to do with this guy…Especially after drinking almost half of my $36 bottle of Gentleman Jack. Actually, I'm probably just drunk enough to enjoy his company.
We turn on to Roosevelt, the police station is on our right. Andy has managed to keep the van under control even with the several inches of black ice and snow covering the roads. Andy tells me that we're to call a number when we're outside the police station parking garage and an officer will open the giant chain gate to let us in. The car with the dead bodies is in a separate heated garage inside the building to thaw out for processing.
It just dawned on me, I'm kind of hammered and last time I checked I'm still not old enough to drink… I feel my anxiety levels rising…I’m not super eager to walk into a police station in my current condition. My plan is to keep my head down and stay as far out of the officers’ breath smelling distance as possible. I'm so happy I decided to eat those chips before I left. I can still taste the garlic. Garlic breath is better than booze breath. I'm fairly certain they won't lock me up for having bad breath.
Andy calls the number, the gate opens and we drive down a pretty drastic slope and enter the garage filled with a fleet of police cars. There must be 40 decked out Chevy Impalas polished up and ready for dispatch. We pull forward and an officer signals us to stop next to a plain gray door in the center of a the cinder block wall on our right. Andy loaded two stretchers in the van this evening. One standard, one oversized, we get out of the van and unload both without incident. The officer walks to the back of the van and tells us to follow him.
We walk through the gray door and quickly move through three different beige hallways, no windows, just ugly plain cinderblock. I realized that I've completely lost my bearings. When we come to the end of the hallway with another gray door. I feel a combination of claustrophobia and vertigo hit me all at once or maybe that was drink number three kickin’ in. The officer opens the door and Andy and I wheel our stretchers into a 20 by 20 garage lit by the brightest fluorescent lights I've ever experienced. The temperature of the light in this room is unnerving among other things.
'Welcome to the crime lab garage' I think to myself. Immediately upon entering the room, I'm almost knocked to the floor by a smell that burns my nasal cavities. It wasn't the smell of rotting flesh or piss and shit, I’ve smelled all those things before. This was new. It’s so unique but the more Im exposed to it the more I realize I’ve smelled this before at the funeral home but I can’t place it….Then it hits me almost as intensely as the smell itself. Ammonia, that's it! It smells like someone took two or three large bottles of ammonia and just poured them all over the room. I look at Andy as we park the stretchers. We make eye contact and I pointed my nose while simultaneously making a confused face. “What the fuck is that?” I whisper.
Andy pulls two pair of blue heavy duty surgical gloves out of the front pocket of his stretcher, hands me a pair and then proceeds to blow my mind. He quietly tells me that the strong ammonia odor is coming from the blood. Apparently when someone dies suddenly all the blood cells in the body make one last screaming effort to stay alive and dump a ton of waste into the bloodstream. The waste is what gives the blood a strong scent of ammonia. You know when someone says they can smell blood in a movie or TV show? I think If this is what they're talking about.
Now that I have my gloves on and have adjusted to the smell, I take off my overcoat and suit jacket and tuck my tie between two buttons on my white dress shirt. This is simply precautionary. There is nothing worse than dipping your tie into something gross. It's almost always UNcleanable.
In this moment, I'm able to take in my surroundings. Perhaps it's the alcohol but something feels off. Under rows and rows of fluorescent lights there’s a maroon Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullet holes with all four of its doors and trunk wide open. Upon initial inspection, my eyes are drawn to two dead men in the backseat and rusted hood with a smattering of bullet holes. It seems that most of the shots were through the windshield, windows and door panels.The windshield is barely able to hold itself up.
Andy and I walk around the car to figure out our plan of attack. He flips open a black vinyl body bag, unzips it and places it on the ground next to the car and he tells me his plan. “If they’re frozen in a seated position, we won't be able to move em that easily… So we'll wiggle them out, lay them on the body bags and zip up the disaster pouch around them.” This sounds good to me. We move in.
We decided to start with the body in the driver's side backseat. The door’s already open and the hinges appear to be hyper extended. The crime scene techs probably bent the hinges while they were scrubbing the scene. Now up close, I’m finally able to take in the two dead men sitting in the backseat in front of me. These guys must have been a couple years older than me, both wearing Timberlands, black jeans and black jackets… like big puffy down jackets. One man has a New Era baseball cap on backwards while the other has a black stocking cap atop his head. I didn't see any logos but the brain matter, bullet holes and blood may have made it hard to notice. The ammonia smell inside the car is completely overwhelming. Blood is literally covering everything in the backseat. Chunks of thawing brain and meat are all over the headrest. I pick up a piece near the seat belt and squeeze it with my middle finger and thumb. It's still a little frozen so it crunches a bit before turning into mush between my fingers. I wiped my hand on a clean part of the interior.
Bullet holes are weird…For something that can end your life so quickly, they don't leave much of a mark on their way in…BUT the way out is a totally different story. I have no idea how many times these men were shot but they’re covered and destroyed by bullet holes. Chin, hands, thighs under the eyeballs and everywhere else. There wasn’t a part of either of these men’s bodies that didn’t have at least one bullet hole… I didn't see their feet though…if I’m being completely transparent.
This is gore. This is a complete horror show. Someone wanted these men dead… like seriously dead. Was it the driver or could it have been the front seat passenger? There must have been someone sitting in the front seat, right? Why else would two grown men sit in the backseat together if there was an open front seat? By the number of holes, I come to the conclusion that at least two people had to have shot up this car….Far too many holes for one shooter and it was definitely people they thought they were close to…
With half my body in the car, the smell of ammonia is blending with the smell of shit…which is undoubtedly oozing from one or all of the many holes in these men's stomachs. Thankfully, the taste of the garlic chips and whiskey I had earlier keeping me from gagging. Both men looked like they were sleeping like someone's dad or brother in the backseat on a road trip but riddled with holes and covered and smelly blood and falling human chunks.
There's only enough room for one of us in the car’s backseat door opening so Andy gets in the driver's seat backwards and reaches back around the front seat to help shimmy the body out. I press the button and unbuckle the seatbelt, it whips back into its home position startling Andy and I. Everything in this car is covered with blood or some sort of human matter. My gloves are literally covered in blood from just unbuckling the seatbelt and now the taste of the ammonia smell is dripping its way into my mouth through my throat. The officers are having some sort of quiet discussion standing by the door we came in earlier. It's not uncommon for police officers to be completely apathetic about crime scenes when the funeral home arrives. The investigation is basically over tonight these officers couldn't care less about their scene. They just wanted to get these bodies moved out of the garage so they could get home to their families. I get that… but their lack of supervision is troubling, especially with what happens next.
I am now completely hunched over the body in the back passenger seat while Andy is supervising from the front turned around in the driver's seat with his gloved hands on the headrest. I tell Andy that I think I'm strong enough to grab this man’s right forearm and slide his body out on my own. When I grabbed the man's forearm, I immediately feel something isn't right. I've grabbed lots of dead people's forearms before. None felt like this though. It was so hard and rigid….don’t get me wrong I understand this man is frozen BUT whatever I'm grabbing on to isn't human. It's something else. It's hard and feels like metal one of those cheap metal canes you'd buy at a drugstore. The three drinks circulating through my bloodstream make me curious but pensive. I tell Andy that I'm not touching a man's arm and that there's something else in this man’s jacket.
I interrupted the police officers conversation. “Hey, something isn't right here.” An officer and I switch places as he pulls out a tactical knife and starts cutting away the sleeve to the blood soaked down jacket. “It’s a FUCKING GUN.” I look over his shoulder and see the open sleeve of a jacket revealing a sawed off shotgun. The inside of the coat was some sort of bright orange material so the short barrel of the shotgun stand out…and so did the trigger but not because of its color. It stood out because of frozen dead man’s finger hooked over and frozen around it. Did I mention the gun was cocked. This means that the slightest movement would have caused a sudden discharge… The gun would have fired directly into the driver's seat, the seat where Andy was supervising from AND apparently Andy and I noticed this at the same time.
The next sound we hear was an officer saying, “Gun! Loaded gun!”
Andy and I step back while the officers deal with the gun… he's freaked out…I can tell by the blotchy greenish yellow color he skin has turned in the last 30 seconds. Andy says, “I don't like guns. I don't like guns.”
“It's cool, man. Nobody got shot.” I say not being too sympathetic. I'm definitely drunk now and the idea of a frozen dead man shooting my partner in the chest is kind of hilarious, even if it would have been my fault. I giggle internally. Andy quickly moves towards the door and says, “I need to get some fresh air” and scurries out like an asshole letting the door slam behind him. Almost at the same moment the door closed. The three officers approached me from behind, “We got it out….It was loaded. Your buddy's lucky you didn’t shoot him in the chest.” I just snicker and tell the officers my partner needed some air and that I'll make the removals myself. How hard could it be? I'll just grab and pull.
Frozen bodies move in one piece while regular room temperature bodies are just floppy deadweight. These fellas are frozen solid…they felt like moving a heavy chair or peculiar shaped table out of your friend's car. Square peg in round holes, it was actually considerably easier than I anticipated.
The sound of the two bodies hitting a cold cement after pulling them out was very satisfying…a simple loud hollow frozen thud. I'm surrounded by awfulness and all I can think about is how proud I am that I just handled this crime scene on my own. I can't wait to eat that Butterfinger waiting for me in the car. It's a fitting reward but also something to get rid of this ammonia and garlic taste overpowering my senses at the moment.
Andy still hasn't come back and we're about to zip up the last body bag. An officer had put on a pair of gloves to help me maneuver the second man's rigid bent knees into the body bag. This man's body was like a complicated Tetris piece. Once in, we each grab a zipper on either side of the black vinyl bag and zip our respective ends until they meet in the middle. I nod my head at the officer and say, “That's how it's done!”
The officer looks at me sternly and says, “Did you just come from a party?” I look at him confused and respond, ”What?”
The officer tells me that he just got a waft of alcohol. “It reeks like booze over here.” I closed my mouth quickly and my heart begins to beat out of my chest. I must smell like a distillery… so much for those garlic chips. Laughing, I say, “On a Tuesday? Come on, man!” The officer stands up and says, “Let's run a tox screen on these guys to find out how fucked up they were before getting blasted.”
Looks like a dodged a bullet. How did he smell my whiskey breath over the ammonia smell? Does my breath just smell like straight rubbing alcohol? I feel bad that these dead guys got blamed for MY alcohol breath but, at least, I won't be walking out of here with an underage drinking ticket.
Calming down and feeling relieved. I looked down on my shirt and see that my necktie, my very favorite Ralph Lauren necktie, had fallen out of my shirt at some point and had been dipped into some smelly smelly blood. Fuck! Of course I ruined my favorite necktie on a night I'm not even supposed to be working. I undo the knot and throw the tie into a biohazard bag. The rest of the removal was kind of a blur because I was laser focused thinking about that Butterfinger I left in the car. The alcohol plus all the blood smell I kind of made my stomach sour. My mouth starts to water thinking about that candy bar.
One of the officers helps me wheel the stretchers out to the van in the main area of the police station parking garage. I can see exhaust coming out of our van. It's on? Did we leave the van running? I open the back of the van to find Andy laying down in the center of the wooden roller board taking up the entire back of the van. The sound startles him and he quickly jumps up to a seated position and says, “I'm sorry man, guns really freak me out. I almost got shot…. I thought I was gonna pass out.”
I notice a yellow rapper sitting next to his right leg. He noticed that I noticed. “Oh yeah, I owe you a candy bar.” He says in a nonchalant manner.
All at once, my dislike for Andy hit me like a tidal wave. I ruined my favorite tie and this asshole ate my candy bar? Andy, sensing my disappointment and anger, didn't say another word and I imagine what it would have been like if that shot gun would have gone off.
My name is Grant and these are My Funeral Home Stories.
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So one time I was in a private code just training to get better (because I kind of suck) but anyway, I was in the code "SX3D." Some random code I made up to join a private in. I was in there for at least 10-12 minutes just in the code until I heard the join sound. There was a white monk, name SX3D, and had long arms. I saw him in stump and then just disappeared in front of me. First I was scared because of course someone joined me while in a private somehow. I looked for him and I couldn't find him anywhere. I started to speak, "Hello? Is anyone here?" Not after long I heard somewhat of a creepy ambiance from mines. That's when I got so scared I wanted to leave, but my mind said I could catch a new ghost! So I suit up and go into caves and mines. It is coming from the speaker in mines. I started recording and then I got sivers down my spine. I heard in some sort of sam voice say "STOP RECORDING NOW." I got goosebumps the second he said that. I leave mines and caves as fast as I can sprinting to the computer to leave the code as I am running to the exit of caves they appear right in front of me, just standing there. I back up a little thing "What do I do.. There are right there. I can't leave caves.." So I sprint passed him and he starts chasing me! I run as fast as a can to computer and left. After that I never felt the same about mines or caves.