I am moving to Portland Area. I normally work from home, but i will have about a week in which i will have no furniture until the moving company arrives. I need a place to work during that time. I thought about a public library but unfortunately I have quite a few Zoom calls that frequently involve confidential information, so that may not work. Any work spaces that can be rented out by the day without a need for a long subscription? The apartment I am renting is in Happy Valley so near there would be a ideal, but am happy to drive if need be

Hello. I am 31F. My mother is very narcissistic. She has spent her whole life denying what she says after saying something, manipulating, doing things behind the scenes, etc. But to give two recent examples: in February she got covid, she tested positive and she did not tell me. After a few days I started to have symptoms, I immediately tested positive too. I got angry because she had not notified me of the positive. Her response to this was to say that maybe I had infected her. She didn't just say it to me, she also said it at my brother's house.
She speaks for me when I'm with other people, she gets into my conversations when someone greets me on the street, when I get angry about this she cries, she comes to the doctor with me, she says my name for me at the reception, she gets ahead of me.
She recently told me that she wants to rent a house in another city (where her work is) to live there, but that she has to say that it's for me, because if she separates from my father, if it were an official separation, she says that then my father would take the money and spend it with someone else. In short: she wanted to use me as a cover to separate from my father without him knowing that he is separated. I'm fed up with her manipulations and I've started to talk. I told my father what my mother proposed to me, omitting the money thing. She denied everything, my father did not believe me. Every time I argue with my mother, the situation escalates and my father shows a total of zero empathy with me. Today I was seeking my father's support about my anger about her comments about covid and she came out laughing out loud. So we started arguing, she victimizes herself, she's aggressive and my father just blames me for arguing.
Recently my brother put a lock on the top floor of my house, because my mother goes in, searches, reads personal things, looks for personal things, uses that information to imagine things. And I recently heard my father say: I don't know what's upstairs, mariju4na? My brother has told me that I should have answered: I have privacy. But in those moments where it's the two of them against me (I live alone with them) I don't even know what to say. They accuse me of everything they do and of being the cause of everything bad at home.
These are just a few examples of what happens every day. I have anxiety and somatize. I can't stay another day here.

I see posts all the time about housing prices in Canada and I'm just sort of blown away I guess? One bedroom rentals in someone else's home for $850 a month? Is this normal for you folks or just a hcol area? I long distance dated I guess you could say, a great girl from Port Moody and her smallish townhouse (1600/1700 sq ft) was 750,000 when it was purchased and is now worth well over a million. Can someone please explain to me what is going on up there? I'm genuinely curious because I live in New York state and my 150,000 house has more room, and a much larger yard than my ex's townhouse and is almost as nice inside.

I(F23) have been dating B(M24) for 3 years. I have Adhd and a depresion and anxiety record that im still working on. B Is autistic and at first it was one of the things that keeped me from dating him for a short time and also that he wasnt religious like my family. I do have very hardcore mood changes and normally im not aware of it until i've calmed down and I had been giving him a lot of hardtime . We have been in distance for more than 9 months when i went to study aboard and when i returned home the plan was that he was staying with me and my parents for a month or so and then i would move out with him to a rentfree house that his parent were offering it pretty far away from my home. After my studies abroad i decided i didnt want to move far away from my family(my dad is sick and it just dosnt feel righ for me) so he stayed with my parents and I at home. My parents have a very strict rule way at home and even when they try not to they cant avoid it. Thats something that brought problems at home, and I tried to pressure him to follow the rules that my family followed. The thing is that i added so much pressure on him and I was so frustrated with my job I would download all the shit on him. Im aware that's super toxic and ive been really working and getting better on it. Or at least I really try. The thing is that Ive probably been irrespetuous with him multiple times and the worst part its that I cant remember such things, like literally im not capable of remembering it. Him being autistic didnt really affect me as it affected with the lifestyle of my parents like food and sleeptime, thing like that. The plan was to move out with him once he got a job and we could rent something together. He's been the light of my life for a while, and i've become a much better person and healthiest person than when we started dating. The thing is that living with my parents was constant pressure and made us not be really fine as partners that we were.(He wasnt asked to pay anything at all, but to clean dishes and take out the trashbags. But normally my parents were not hapoy as he would not follow a schedule and they tend to be pretty anxious about clean things).So once again i got mad at him, i was doing dinner with my dad and the dishes were all dirty so i went and told him but didnt especify that he needed to go do it. I finished doing it as i didnt want my dad to do it and get mad. Then i was a little passive-agressive with my coments and he exploded and shouted at me to fuck off in front of my dad. My dad got angry at him and they started fighting and then B packed all his things and leaved that same day and my dad dont want to see him again. He lives in other state so i cant go see him every time i want to see him. He broke up with me and I dont know what to do to fix it, i dont know even if it can be fixed and i feel im the worst for not thinking more about how he felt just because i was so inmerse on my own world. And now my world its just shattered. I tried to talk with him about try again being at distance(something at first i actually didnt want at the heat of the moment) but now he told me that he need to focus on himself and tbh im not sure how to deal with anything. It just breaks my heart how we wanted to live together and have a family and now i have nothing and everything is my fault. Maybe my condition as Adhd itself its a severe excuse but i really tried to do thing correctly with him. I dont know if i need advice or if i just need to dissapear. It is really my fault? Is there something i can do to fix this situation?

They notified us in early February that the complex was raising rent for our 3-bedroom and that they were also looking for a place of their own. My partner and I agreed. They preferred to stay at the complex but transfer to a 2-bedroom, which would only save us about $200 a month compared to what we were already paying, including utilities and other expenses.
However, just two days after we decided not to renew the lease, they informed us that we all had to move out within 2 1/2 weeks. They were planning to stay at the complex, and the management wouldn't hold the apartment until our lease ended. This sudden notice left us with very little time to find a new place. It's worth mentioning that our roommates were the head of the lease.
My roommate delegated the communication about all this to his girlfriend, who used to work with my girlfriend. According to my girlfriend, she was never given the option to say no, and I trust her because she would have taken that opportunity if it had been presented to her. I believe he intentionally did this at work because there would have been more room for discussion if it had been brought up at home.
As a result, we are currently living with our respective parents. While I don't have much of a problem with it (as we are saving money), I understand why my girlfriend is unhappy with our current living situation. I won't go into details, but it further supports the notion that she would have declined if given the chance.
It wasn't until a month after we moved out that we realized we actually had the option to say no. We never thought to ask the management because it didn't seem like we had a choice, and we suspected that our roommates may have applied for the new apartment and received approval well before they even informed us.
Additionally, I only received a fraction of my initial deposit back, which is disappointing. This adds insult to injury. Our parents also found the handling of the situation suspicious, but we didn't question it because we believed we would be saving money and getting our deposit back, while hopefully securing a place in the affordable complex we were on the waitlist for within a couple of months. However, we are still on the waitlist as of now and may not be able to move in until October.
As a consequence, my credit line for utilities has been compromised (except for my credit card), which could potentially hinder my ability to buy a house in the next few years if I choose to do so. At the moment, the only bills I pay are occasional car insurance payments when my parents ask and my phone bill.
We have text messages that prove that nothing was clearly presented to us, aside from his girlfriend telling mine that we had to move out early and could temporarily stay with our parents until we found a new place. This happened just two days after we all agreed not to renew the lease for that apartment unit.
Although my girlfriend and I are not technically homeless, she primarily stays at my parents' place on weekends due to her unsatisfactory living conditions at home. I did express to my former roommate that if we truly had no other option but to move out, I would have been willing to reimburse him the full deposit and even compensate him for the inconvenience, given that I have had a steady job throughout my life and have built up substantial savings (which he lacks).
It's perplexing to me why my longtime roommate handled the situation this way. We've known each other since grade school, and I can't comprehend his actions. Admittedly, my girlfriend and I made the mistake of not immediately approaching the management, but I don't believe they would have been able to do much at that point either.
I have a close family friend who is aware of the situation, and is an attorney and asked that I come to him if I choose to pursue this legally.
If anyone has any opinions, feel free to respond.
Thank you

Hi there, I just got my first apartment after college, and I’m looking into getting a new 4K 120hz TV.
I know OLED is the best of the best in terms of quality, but I’m trying to figure out if paying almost twice the price of QLED for slightly better picture quality is worth it.
I’m in my 20’s, and the TV would mostly be used for watching movies / TV and maybe some slight gaming (hence the 120hz). I don’t have anything like a home theater setup, and this will just be going in my living room.
I’m not sure if my use cases would justify the price jump from QLED to OLED, and I’d love to hear some advice to a first time TV buyer. I want to ensure I get the best bang for my buck, so if I wouldn’t be able to fully utilize all the features of OLED, I’d love to know.
Luckily, I can find the budget for both QLED or OLED, but knowing that OLED is about twice the price is a hard pill to swallow, and I want to ensure that it would be worth it for me.
Thanks!

Ahhhhh, there's soooo much to say and talk about.
Put on For Me - Michal Leah while you read this.
Like the title states, I am a single dad that's pretty tired of using dating apps.
There's been tons of amazing people I've met through them, some that sprouted into meaningful relationships and some that felt like I should've put my energy into something else.
At the end of the day, I'd still like to find my person. <3
A bit about myself -
Demisexual, so let's get that out of the way.
I am a generally active person. I lift everyday, run occasionally, and just developed an addiction to disc golfing that I'll soon find myself doing everyday. I love hiking, trail running + being out/taking pictures of nature. When the weather permits it, I love going to the beach near me. I'm a social drinker, and go out once-twice a month with friends to bar hop or find somewhere to chill and drink.
I was raised in a Roman Catholic household, and up until several months ago was a practicing Christian. I'm no longer monotheistic though! And respect + value all religions. More recently I've been looking into being a Theistic Luciferian. If that's something that bothers you, shrugs, you can skip on past this post.
I'm not home often but when I am, I try to catch up on series I've been missing out on. Recommend me something new :)
Recently I just started buying blank canvases and sort of teaching myself to paint. Its extremely therapeutic, and relatively cheap if it's something you've never considered.
I have a solid, cordial relationship with my sons mom. I have a career I somewhat enjoy, a good amount of friends I love spending time with, and also am comfortable being alone. No co dependency on this side ya feel.
Height doesn't matter to me. I am 5'9/175cm if you were curious though. I'm a handsome dude, and often told I have very pretty features like my long eyelashes and thick but trimmed eyebrows. I can be described as being "dad fit". Muscular with a bit of pudge. I am very comfortable with myself while also still being a bit insecure about specific things. I won't mind sharing pictures if you ask.
Old school gender roles are lame. Don't get me wrong, I'll open the door and push your chair in for you and I'll lead when given the chance, but we are equals above anything else.
what I hope to find~
A woman who wants a intentional relationship and is willing to work through some potential LDR. The title can be explained once I get to know you:)
Like stated, I don't care if you're taller then me.
I care about physical health, and attraction for me starts on the surface level so in that way I am shallow. Over time, my infatuation develops as I get to know a person. What I hope for is being with someone who's patient, kind, loving and shares a similar communication style as me.
While I'll give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to mental illnesses ~ I will not stand being yelled at, gaslighted, love bombed, physically abused etc. I know my worth, what I deserve and I won't let myself go through any of that again. There's only so much patience I have, and my time + energy is valuable. Please have healthy coping mechanisms and tendencies or at least be actively working on yourself.
I'll end this with saying that there's so much more to me, and vice versa. I'll be looking forward to getting to know you:)
If you've read this far, send me a picture of yourself and your cheesiest dad joke.

Hi friends! My partner and I are headed out for a 9-day trip next week, arriving early on the 7th and leaving the evening of the 15th. We were originally hoping to do some hiking in Landmannalaugar and Kerlingarfjöll but looking at road openings, thinking that it may not be possible until the tail end of our trip if at all. (I know, we should've gone later, but this is the time period that both overlapped with his work schedule and mileage ticket options.) Bearing that in mind, couple questions to help us make the most of our trip:

1. For anyone that's been in the area recently, do you have a hypothesis on if the roads will open at all during our stay?
2. Is it worth hiking those areas so early in the season even if the roads do open?
3. What are your favorite other spots for longer day hikes? We're already looking at Þakgil and Stórurð but I'm sure there's other awesome spots out there! Maybe on the north side too?

We don't have a set day-by-day itinerary yet (our experience doing other road trips abroad leads us to want some goals but allow for flexibility to see where the day (and the wind) takes us. We've marked a map with some points of interest (we are obviously not staying at ALL the campgrounds, just plenty to reference for wherever we might end up based on what we do during a given day.) Please share any 10/10 highlights we're missing, or some things maybe we should skip.
Main goals:

• at least two days of solid hikes (4+ hours)
• puffins (any location, just puffins)
• natural hot springs (we will be skipping Blue Lagoon and likely all the majorly developed ones; prefer a more rustic setting!)
• a full trip but with enough time to enjoy each place and not feel we are always in a rush to get to the next thing

Helpful notes:

• we're experienced hikers, in good shape, and prefer places with fewer people when possible.
• not currently planning any overnight backpacking trips but haven't ruled them out either.
• renting a Dacia Duster 4x4 vehicle, and plan to camp in the roof tent or our regular tent for most or all of the nights
• we grew up in Southeast Alaska and Oregon, respectively, and currently live in Montana. We are very familiar with rain/inclement weather.
• sen our fair share of waterfalls and geothermal sites but are looking forward to seeing very different terrain!

PS - I have an iPhone 13 mini and he has as Samsung Pixel 6a. I own a Canon T4i and an older Tamron 18-270mm lens, but I haven't used it regularly in a couple of years so I feel out of practice. Considering not taking the DSLR and sticking to phone pictures so I don't overwhelm myself and spend more time appreciating the experience than fiddling with settings I barely remember trying to get the perfect shot (and to save 4lbs when hiking, ha.) Is this a terrible idea?

Still coming off the end of a roommate who I felt very deeply for. One of the things that hurt most for me and one of my other roommates caring for this person was the money stuff, because we both were working hard to earn what we had and our pwBPD would just take and take. They couldn't keep a job and put minimal effort into looking, citing how tired or disabled or sick or depressed they were, but they refused to go on disability and gave up trying for unemployment after a month or so (this was one of the things that made me decide to stop talking to them).
Meanwhile, their needs were constant. They needed cigarettes, alcohol, takeout and delivery every day, and then would insist on giant grocery sprees where we would go to multiple stores and spend hundreds of dollars for a couple meals. This was in addition to us splitting their rent because they could never pay, covering their utilities which they never paid either, insurance for their car they couldn't pay, and, at one point, $300 each to keep the bank from taking their car due to lack of payment.
Once, my roommate mentioned to me that they didn't think our pwBPD could see money as real, despite claiming over and over that they grew up poor and were very aware of money and what it meant; this was absolutely something you could never ever say to them or indicate in any way. I've never met anyone else who tried so little to get a job while being paid for by other people-- or even like, tried so little to get financial help at all? After one of their car crashes my roommate offered to help them knock down their fees significantly and they declined. Found an excuse to give up on unemployment. Wouldn't take disability. Called me bitchy for asking them to find a replacement to sublet their room when they said they were moving out, then found an excuse for why they couldn't and I had to do it instead, so we still are paying for the room to this day. And for what? Why?
Sometimes they acted like they felt actually bad about people buying stuff for them, but it didn't stop them from taking, and I just can't understand why you wouldn't want to put in the effort? I did all the cleaning in our house too, including cleaning up after their constant messes, and after a while it was almost like they avoided putting any effort in out of spite. And also, after all these things they just... still made up conspiracies about why I hated them. In reality, my whole life revolved around taking care of them.
When they got fired from their last job after talking back to the boss, I sent them jobs that were perfect for them, fitting their very specific needs for a job. They said they understood where I was coming from but they 'just needed some time to be sad' before looking for something new. They didn't get a job for the rest of the time they lived with us. We paid for everything.
One weekend they pressured another one of our friends into coming with them back to their home city for the week. She didn't want to do it at all and not for that long and actively refused but they can't take no for an answer and kept pushing until she broke. Once they got there, our pwBPD made her pay for a bar crawl, several hundred dollars. She could only leave when she stressed to them that she didn't have any money left to give them, because she was unemployed and was very stressed looking for a job and wanted to save. This was another incident that made me go NC with our pwBPD; it made me lose even more respect for them, even though they had been disappointing me every day for months, to be honest.
Just like... why? It still haunts me. Like what thought process leads them to think this is okay? Personally I think thinking about how much we were spending on them made them feel guilty or ashamed, and instead of doing something about it they just decided not to think about it anymore. They once told my roommate to never mention how much they'd spent on them over the years (which totaled to far more than what I spent on them when they lived here) because it made them feel bad. It's just so strange, this juxtaposition of like, constant victimhood and weird entitlement and refusal to help themselves.

Good afternoon all. Myself and Friend A were roommates for about a year. During this time I struggled to establish boundaries with this individual. I let them get away with using up the common space all day, being their emotional support 24/7, pretty much letting this individual take control because of past traumatic experiences this individual has had where they’ve had no control at all in living situations, I was just grateful to have a bed to sleep in.
As time went on, the energy in the house shifted, because I was just unhappy with my living situation. Rules were enacted and terms that were agreed on upon the beginning of the lease, weren’t being met. Along with the combination of me receiving an offer to move somewhere else, and me extremely tired of having to live by someone else’s rules and weren’t taking into consideration my feelings, I decided it was best to just up and go as I could not take another second, for the sake of my mental health.
Obviously I did not give 30 days notice, which is an asshole move. However Friend A (who was my roommate) decided to go on a harassment/stalking tour and emailing and messaging all my friends and acquaintances including my ex, demanding money for rent for a month I physically did not live in the apartment.
I begged her to take me to court and handle this the legal way. For two months she continued to harass, stalk, and spread my business to strangers, former friends, and current friends.
My mutual friend group (me and friend A are in the same friend group) watched all of this occur and refused to pick sides. One member claimed they would try to tell her she’s wrong but Friend A was “too stubborn” (it’s worth nothing friend A has serious mental health issues)
Everyone in this group has acknowledged that what friend A is doing is wrong, childish, immature, and downright disrespectful…yet continue to hang out with friend A, post on their social media, etc.
I get the situation had nothing to do with them, however, they saw the toll her harassment and stalking was taking on me. I begged her to leave me alone for weeks. Former friend A recently just alluded to me trying to murder her on her social media (not kidding)
I asked them why would they want to continue being friends with an individual who resorts to harassment, lies, and can’t see the wrong in what she’s doing? They say they are taking notes, and will tell former Friend A they are still in contact with me when things “cool off”
Honestly, I just do not want to be associated with anyone who is associated with her. Whether it’s a friend, brother, sister, co worker, social media mutual, NOBODY. The way former friend A has reacted to this entire situation makes me think any bystanders are guilty by association.
So, AITA for cutting off this friend group, establishing my boundaries, and moving on with my life?

Background: I (F34) married my husband (M34) ~3 years ago and moved to USA (where he studied and worked when we met). I can’t work in US due to visa restrictions. He works in tech and his pay here is enough to justify me not earning money. I am a SAHW and handle all the chores while working on upgrading my résumé.
Current scenario: Like thousands of other people in tech, my husband got laid off recently and has been having a hard time getting interviews (much less getting job offers). Owing to his strong technical and soft skills, he has always been one of the top few candidates wherever he has applied so the current situation is even more difficult.
While we had discussed about this possibility earlier when the layoffs started towards end of 2022, we always agreed that we’d give it a shot here - maybe a couple of months - if he doesn’t have a decent paying job, we move back to our home country where we can both work and earn well, relatively speaking.
What I’ve come to realize is that it’s way easier to discuss these things in theory, but when it does actually happen to you, it’s not easy to deal with. Nobody obviously likes to be asked to leave.
Now I’m watching him struggle, trying to fill his days, keep himself occupied but there are still a few hours everyday where I see him staring into a wall morosely. It’s making him question his self worth. It’s heartbreaking and I feel utterly powerless.
I can’t emote this with him cuz I fear it might weaken him more and it’s the furthest from helpful. Thanks for reading my vent Redditors!
Goodluck to everyone in the job market!!

Holidaaaaaaay Weekend Sale (with condolences to those of us who are working like chumps tomorrow).
README - Blowing out the rest of my budget shelf clutter, so let’s play a little game - everything’s built to ship, I want it gone, I want you to want to bundle it. If you buy more than one knife, we’ll take five bucks off for each knife. Including the first one. Not including the add-ons.
PPFF or Venmo or Zelle for payment, I'll ship USPS insured Tuesday. Buys > chats, and as ever, I love you.
Timestamp

• CJRB Pyrite All Stainless All the Time - SV 45

You might be thinking to yourself, ‘wow one of these, they must be rare as hell because I don’t think I’ve ever seen one on the swap before and certainly not like six per day.’ And you’d be right, you sarcastic bastard.
But this one. This is the one.
This came to me LNIB but the blade had the wonkiest factory edge I’ve ever seen. Like what. So in a fit of misguided confidence, I figured I’d level that shit out. An hour later, was still chasing a decent edge. Took it down to 120, back all the way up to 1000 and shit started to shine. Figured what the hell and broke out the buffing tape and gave it a lightsaber glow of an edge. See pics for the serviceable mirror on it.
Action is great, shit swings. Button lock is clean with no stick at all.
If you ask nicely, I’ll even include the enviably rad rings from my birthday cake.

• Spyderco Dragonfly User - SV 40PENDING

As you can clearly see in the video, it’s been put to use. And then put to use more. Still doing great. I’m the second owner at least (confirmed, I’m the third at least) and this has mostly just sat there because I have another one. Was going to scale swap it with the other one but haven’t bothered. This one came to me without a clip (booooooooo) but lucky you, I donated one. Because I love you. VG10 steel, camo scales n stuff. Beat up. Still kickin. I sharpened the hell out of it and it a nice little slicer. No box. Clip though.

• Civivi Odd 22 - SV 45

One of Civivi’s newer offerings - it’s really cool. Scales are a nice version of Civivi micarta with a pretty full handfeel and good weight. The 3” black stonewashed clip point blade has a nice fat curve to it. The steel is 14C28N, which, see above. It’s great. Second owner, shows zero signs of use. Clean AF, LNIB. Box, taco, etc.

• Civivi Riffle - SV 45

Great fidgety knife with a light weight and lot of cutting edge. 3.5” of sharp 14C28N satin steel on nice micarta scales. 14C28 seems to be having a renaissance, probably because people actually enjoy steel that can be sharpened and won’t chip off with any hard use. Action is typically fantastic Civivi - blade pops fast and easy with either the understated flipper tab or a flick with the nicely-sized hole. The whole knife is super lightweight and makes for a surprisingly nice EDC. This one is LNIB - second owner, but neither I nor the first guy ever used it. Comes with box, taco, etc.

• Civivi Shredder - SV 35

8.5” overall with a 3.75” D2 blade in a slim profile that’s just begging to cut open a package or something. But it never has. It’s pristine.
Seriously nice design on this, the big choil lets you choke up as needed, or put all that slicing edge to work with four on the floor. G10 handle is comfortable. The blade opens with a flipper or a spydie flick and is super satisfying. Drops-ish shut, but could break in just a little. Comes with Box and taco and civivi stuff.

• Leatherman Surge - SV 100

This beast was sold to me NIB by some bastard who’s since deleted his account. I think that was true, but what’s also true is that there’s some minor smudging on the finish (not scratches, just looks like it’s been carried a little). The tools still mostly have the factory oil on them. The knife has a wonky grind but it’s sharp as hell, so don’t worry. Call it LNIB with some caveats - no signs of use though. I’m mad at that guy, I just want it gone so i don’t have to be reminded of my broken heart.

• Petrified Fish Mini Beluga - SV 35PENDING

Definitely in my top 5 for beginner blades. Just an awesome little knife. The 14C28N blade pops fast and easy with the front flipper tab or via reverse flick with the fuller (protip - aim a little lower on the blade to get better leverage on the fuller and it’ll fly out every time). I never planned to get rid of it (it was one of my first knife buys, so it’s got a special place) but I never use it. Second owner, I carried it a few times but there’s no real signs of use on it at all. No box for this guy.

• CRKT Pilar CF in D2 - SV 30

It’s a Pilar - you know this. Rare AF carbon fiber scales. These scales are known for usually coming with the S35VN version of this knife (which is also rare af) but this guy is actually stamped as a D2 with CF scales. So who knows. Rarest Pilar ever? Maybe. Has its clip, but the clip is unattached bc the screws were lost to time. CRKT will send you the screws for it free, it’s a quick form on their site that takes like three minutes. I did it once, but then lost them because it was one of those days.

• Spyderco Ambitious - SV 35

Been holding onto this one because I kinda want to keep it. It’s a great tiny little flipper with killer action and a nice, long blade that’s more or less exactly what I want. No wasted space on this design. It’s just good. No clip, I like to tell myself Spyderco just didn’t ship it with one to make a statement about the utility of the knife, but in reality it was probably just taken off at some point.

• CRKT Batum - SV 20

The Batum is one we just don’t see that often. It’s like a beefy, kinda badass version of the Pilar with a more drop-pointy blade. Just an absolute tank of a knife. Action is much better that 99% of budget CRKT stuff, and I planned to keep this guy around too til I realized I have half a dozen other small knives that I reach for first. No box.

• Land Sebenza - SV 20 PENDING

Call it an homage, call it inspired, call it unused. Basically it’s the “we have CRK at home” Sebenza. That said, I actually got a true clone seb once and this one is way nicer. Everything works as it should, would make a nice beater carry. No box.
**Add Ons***

• Rite Edge Damascus Lockback - SV 10

Sure, it’s a cliche Pakistani damascus tourist trap knife, but damn it’s good looking. The leather case is worth the price of admission alone.

• Case Lockback - SV 5

Pretty basic Case lockback from the early 00’s. Great tiny pocket carry or backup car knife.

• Kershaw Cinder - SV 10

For those times you want a cutter and a bottle opener on your keychain. Don’t try to do both at once.

Hi! I saw a prompt on /writingprompts and wrote a story around it, I'd love to get some feedback. This is my first attempt at trying to write something since like highschool.
The prompt was:
​
You’re an astronaut on a deep space mission. You invent an imaginary friend to help stay sane. Upon finally returning, Mission Control stops you. There’s an unidentified life form on board with you.
​
Story:
​
It all started when I woke up from stasis. NASA had warned me that things would be weird for the first few hours after waking up and to take it easy, but when they had said ‘weird’ I had never expected this.
“Will you cut that out?” I said to John as he leaned back in the copilot chair humming a tune I couldn’t quite recognize.
“Sorry man, didn’t mean to harsh your vibes.”
John, apparently, was my imaginary friend. I don’t really remember dreaming him up, but he insists I did when I came out of stasis. I have vague memories of him while I was in stasis. He appeared in different dreams, or maybe memories from my childhood? Did I have a childhood imaginary friend? I honestly couldn’t remember.
“Woooaaahh dude. I just had the craziest thought.” John said.
I focused on the control station I was working at, trying my best to ignore him.
“What if when we get to Earth there’s like, a real version of me, you know?”
I turned and stared at him, “what on Earth are you talking about?”
“Well actually brosef, I’m not on Earth, I’m inside the ship. Are you still trippin’ from the stasis?”
I clamped my eyes shut and groaned, turning back to my station.
“I just mean like, so you imagined me, right? But what if you based me off a real person. So, what happens when we meet? Will he and I fuse into one person? Or will like, your head explode from seeing both of us at the same time?”
That made me pause for a moment. Had I imagined him from a real person? I racked my brain trying to think of anyone I knew named John, but I couldn’t think of any.
“I don’t know a John, sadly you’re wholly original in your annoying nature.”
He blew a raspberry, “dude come on, John is like, what, the most common male name in America? And you’re telling me you don’t know a John? Come onnnnnnnnnn.”
--
Eight months later and John was still here, and as annoying as ever. Today his choice of annoying entertainment was bouncing a tennis ball against the wall of the ship.
“Where did you even get a tennis ball?”
“Oh, you know man, around. Do you wanna try? It’s a pretty fun game.”
“No, I’m busy. We have to make sure these burns are executed correctly, or we’ll miss Earth.”
John rolled his eyes and went back to throwing the ball.
“Why are you so worried about getting back to Earth?”
I stared at him, hoping if I stared hard enough, he’d just disappear. “Why wouldn’t I want to get back to Earth? It’s our home, remember? And, if we get back, I can get away from you.”
John laughed, “Brosef, you imagined me, remember? Why don’t you just like, unimagine me if I’m bothering you so much?”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried that?” I said, resting my head in my hands, pressing my palms into my eyes until I saw stars.
John looked down at the floor, pouting. “Why you got to be so mean man, I’m just tryin’ to make this ride a liiiittle more entertaining.”
I let out a sigh, he was certainly annoying, but he was also my only friend, and was going to be for a very, very long time.
“I’m sorry, you’re right. Why don’t we do something fun? What do you want to do?”
John perked up, and I knew instantly I had made a mistake.
“You really mean that? We could do something fun? I have the BEST idea.”
I nodded, defeated. I had learned it was best to just get it over with instead of arguing with John. He could be very, very persistent.
“What’s the idea?” I said, putting on my best “I’m listening and am interested” face that I could.
He paused, sitting up straight. “Okay, here me out. So, like, what if we went on like, an epic road trip.”
He shot me the most excited, kid in a candy shop look.
I cocked my head at him, trying to read his expression for the hint of a joke in there, but I didn’t see one. “Aren’t we already on an epic road trip? We’re in SPACE John, alone, together, for another three years. Does it get any more epic than that?”
He scoffed, “yeah but like, we aren’t seeing anything, we aren’t going anywhere, we’re just drivin’ along, going back home. That’s no fun. We should be stopping places, going on whacky adventures.”
I looked around, balling my toes up trying to find an outlet for my frustration.
“Where do you want to stop, John? Again, we’re in SPACE. There’s literally nothing anywhere. What, you want to go stop at that proton molecule just floating out there?”
John rolled his eyes and went back to throwing his tennis ball.
“I knew you wouldn’t get it. Don’t you remember when we were kids, we went on that epic road trip across the country? We stopped, where was it, like, Idaho? No wait, Indiana, that’s right. We saw that maaaassive ear of corn? That was awesome! We need to do stuff like that, man.”
I paused, a chill working its way up my spine. “How do you know about that?”
John threw me a smirk, “come on bro, you created me, remember? Of course, I have memories from you.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t invent you until recently, you weren’t around back then. How could you know that?”
John stopped throwing his stupid tennis ball and turned to me. “Look, I don’t have the time or energy to teach you about the human-imaginary friend memory bonding structure, but trust me, that’s how it works.”
I wanted to press him for more information but knew it wouldn’t go anywhere. When he didn’t want to talk about something, he found every tiny way to distract from it until I gave up, so I decide to just give up early.
“Okay, so yeah, when we were kids, we saw the giant ear of corn. Where is that? Oh right, back on Earth. Where’s the giant space ear of corn John?”
I played up looking around the ship, putting my hand to my forehead to block the sun.
“Because I’m not seeing it, are you?”
He went back to throwing his tennis ball. “They probably don’t have a giant space ear of corn. But they could have other stuff. What if we went to Titan? Oh, oh! Or Enceladus! That would be sooo chill.” He giggled to himself. “Get it? Because it’s frozen?”
“I. Get. The. Joke.” I said through gritted teeth.
“Come on man, we could be there in like three weeks. Take a little pit spot on Titan since you clearly are against Enceladus for some reason. We could just a day, maybe two, then burn hard back for Earth. We’d lose what, like 5 days? That’s noooothin’ man.”
It would be cool to see Titan, the only moon with a substantial atmosphere, and the only other place besides Earth that had rivers and oceans.
“Think about it bro, we could catch some like, Titan fish. How long has it been since we’ve had fish?”
“A long, long time.” I said, my mouth watering at the thought of food that wasn’t in slushie form.
I shook my head, snapping myself out of it. “We can’t go to Titan, John. NASA would be pissed. We need to get back to Earth.”
John rolled his eyes. “You’re always so worried about what they’ll think. Oh, NASA wouldn’t like that. Oh, NASA wouldn’t approve of that. No John, we can’t have any fun because the fun police at NASA would be upset. Boohoo. Screw NASA. Let’s have some FUN!”
I had to chuckle at that. While I didn’t have the same rebellious streak as John did, I certainly got annoyed at all the rules and regulations we had to follow daily from NASA when it had been years since we had last heard from them.
“So, whadda think? Titan adventure?” John was looking at me with his best winning smile.
I sighed, “no, John. No Titan adventures. The only way we could possibly detour would be if we got a distress call, which is impossible since no one lives on Titan or has ever gone to Titan.”
John groaned his disapproval for my staunch commitment to the unbendable and boring rules of NASA and went back to throwing his ball.
I felt bad, he seemed really excited about Titan. And I had to admit, it was an exciting idea. But there was no way we could justify to NASA detouring to go to Titan. Our mission was clear, get back to Earth as fast as possible.
I stared at my control panel trying to remember what I had been working on.
--
“PING. PING. PING.”
“Brosef, wake up man! Wake up!”
I bolted up out of my seat, or I tried to. My shoulders ached from where the seat restraints pulled against me in my failed attempt to stand up.
“Wow that hurts. Every time man I swear to God one of these days, I’m going to cut these restraints out of the seat.”
John chuckled, “yeah you sure do that a lot.” He was sitting back in the copilot chair with his feet up on the control panel.
“What is that pinging? And why were you yelling at me?”
John sat upright, “oh right! Dude, you’ll never believe what happened.”
He sat in silence, on the edge of his seat.
“What, John?”
“John? Hello?” He let out a laugh, “sorry, had to build suspense. This is truly, epic.”
He got up and pointed at the control panel. “We got a distress signal from Titan, bro!”
I jumped out of my seat; this time having taken my restraints off beforehand. I ran over to the control panel and checked.
Sure enough, there it was. A distress beacon coming from Titan. I typed out a few commands asking the computer to recheck the signals origin. The computer confirmed it was correct. There was a distress beacon coming from Titan.
John was jumping up and down chanting, “We’re going to Titan, we’re going to Titan. Who’s going to Titan? We’re going to Titan!”
A feeling of dread crept up from the floor, enveloping me. I slowly turned and looked up at him.
“John… You didn’t do this, did you?”
He stopped jumping and stared at me, confused. “What? What are you talking about brosef?”
The gears in my mind started turning as I tried to put the fear into words.
“You wanted to go to Titan, insisted we go. I tell you the only way we can go is if we get a distress call, and now, we get a distress call from Titan.”
“Woaaah woah woah. WOAH.” He spattered, throwing his arms up in the air. “I’m gonna stop you right there broheim.”
Broheim, that was a new one. I kind of liked it, at least compared to brosef.
“If you think for one second that I CAUSED a distress signal from Titan just to get us to go there, you’re crazy.”
“Well, how do you explain this?” My feeling of dread was solidifying into anger.
“Dude, listen to yourself. I can’t cause a distress signal. How would I even do that? For one, I’d have to somehow control something on titan to tell it to emit a distress signal. Let’s dig into that. One, THERE’S NOTHING ON TITAN BUT WATER AND DIRT.”
“You could have sent down a probe to beacon back” I said, scrambling for potential ways he could have betrayed me.
He gave me an exhausted eye roll. “Check the logs bro, check the probe bays. There are no probes launched, no probes missing.”
I pulled up the probe inventory on the control panel, he was right. All our remaining probes were accounted for.
“Fine, all the probes are there.”
He gave me a proud eyebrow raise and puffed out his chest. “Seeee? And secondly, and I feel like I shouldn’t have to emphasize this but apparently I do because you’ve clearly gone crazy.”
He bent down to be eye level with me in my chair, “I’M IMAGINARY.”
Huh. He had me there.
I closed my eyes, trying to think. He didn’t send a probe, nothing existed on Titan for him to hack into to send the distress signal. Was this just one big coincidence?
I pulled up the communications buffer, the only other thing I could think of. There were no new messages sent by us.
“Well now what?” I asked him.
“It’s so simple bromigo. We go to Titan, rescue whoever is down there. Bring them back to Earth and become National, nay, International, nay again, PLANETARY heroes. I’m going to start writing my acceptance speech.”
I had to laugh at that. Planetary heroes did sound pretty awesome.
I turned in my chair toward the control panel. “I’m going to ask NASA what to do.”
John groaned a deep, frustrated groan. He pinched the bridge of his nose and said, “Dude, you can’t wait around for NASA. It’s going to take months for them to answer, maybe even years with all the hemming and hawing they do at any tiny decision, let alone the transmission time between us and them. Like you said the other day, we can’t delay.”
I frowned. He certainly had a point. “I’m going to send them a message telling them what we’re doing, but you’re right. We’ll have to do this on our own.”
He rolled his eyes, “if you must, but I think it’s going to be a bigger headache than it’s worth bromigo.”
I stared at him, “how could we possibly explain to NASA where we found a few extra astronauts when we get back to Earth? Oh yeah don’t mind them, we just picked up a few hitchhikers on the way back home.”
John laughed at that, “yeah that would be pretty hilarious.”
I began typing up a message to NASA. “This is the Celestial Pathfinder”, “that’s such a cool name,” John whispered to me. I waved my hand at him to be quiet.
“We have received a distress signal from the surface of Titan. While we know it is urgent for us to return to Earth as quickly as possible, we’re going to investigate. I can’t in good conscious leave another astronaut stranded out here, and the round-trip communication time is too long for us to wait for a reply from you. Be advised we may be returning to Earth with extra passengers. Celestial Pathfinder out.”
John nodded his approval, “very diplomatic of you bro.” He raised out a fist for me to bump and I obliged.
Now, how do we get to the surface of Titan.

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Discretion an absolute must as I work for the state/ in politics. I travel constantly so meet-ups may be infrequent but should be worth our time ;-). Looking for someone who is professional white collar, politics/government a +; from Texas also a +. Can have a decent conversation even if our politics don’t align. Open to meeting couples as well if meet the above criteria.
Thanks for reading!

I (23f) unfortunately lost my grandmother 2 months ago. She had been unwell for around a year and the death was expected however she was young and active so still a shock. It is also worth noting that I am studying to be a doctor (set to graduate this year) so I was aware of my grandmothers prognosis earlier than the rest of my family.
I have been visiting my parents and family this week and staying with them as I live/study/work around 5 hours away. The decision was made to scatter my grandmothers ashes this morning. I honestly probably wouldn’t have made the journey for this alone but since I was already staying I was keen to be included with the rest of the family that wanted to join.
We had planned to meet at 11 this morning so I woke up at 9:30 to get ready. My mother and brother were both not home when I woke up which I thought was strange but I got dressed assuming they would be back to drive together as we had arranged.
I have since been told that the time everyone was meeting had changed form 11 to 10am but nobody had told me that the time had changed.
I’ve been avoiding my mum all day for not telling me that the time had changed and I’m devastated that I didn’t get to say goodbye for the last time. I understand that scattering ashes is probably not that big of a deal but due to my career choice I’ve been very stoic through everything including driving my cousins around for the funeral and wake as I was ‘the strong one’ and ‘used to death’. I suppose I was hoping that this more low-key goodbye might’ve been the chance I got to properly say goodbye without worrying about my emotions getting in the way for myself and others.
I know my mum has been understandably upset about losing her mum so it might’ve been a genuine mistake but AITA for being upset?

Needing to vent so here we are...
Since my SO's last family visit; I've been struggling with getting back to a mentally good place. Where before the visit I was finally getting "neutral" on them and they were no longer taking space rent free in my head. That was quickly ruined within a few minutes at the start of the visit due to some crappy comments from JNMIL, and I've been struggling the last month or so getting in a better spot. I'm really wondering if this is what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life; having constant negative thoughts is wearing me out mentally and it's not healthy, I just don't know what to do.
We've been seeing a therapist, mainly for SO, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere after the first few sessions (We think we need to find a new therapist, they are unstructured and don't seem too engaged)
SO is visiting their family this week with LO out of state. "I had to stay back to work". We're on night 2 that I haven't gotten to say goodnight to LO, or at all during the day. I tried to give grace on day 1, but day 2 just is inconsiderate and rude. It's like my SO visits their family and their negative qualities come out. Not that I think that the IL's are a direct cause in this scenario, this is a SO issue for sure, but the resentment is still there about their family.
In our last session with the therapist, I was told that it takes time, but pointed out it is 4+ years of issues and were only here because I continued to push for it, and taking time meant things should have started at least a year ago when I about hit my breaking point, not this year after being persistent to SO to get something going. I'm in a near constant negative state and just don't know when or how it gets better.
Saying that, I also realize, many here have it way worse and it's not THAT bad. I realize this is partly my shortcomings, I tend to cut people off with little tolerance for crap behavior as it's not worth it to me. This is death by a thousand cuts, no 1 major issue, just plenty of frequent small things that allow resentment to build up.

So my narc recently decided he wanted a motorcycle he went and purchased a small one and then a month later decided he wanted a larger one and that he wanted to let me learn to ride on the small one so that I could go riding with him.. . Then the very same day he gets the larger one he tells me that he's already got a buyer for the other one.... thisbisnt the first time he's done something like this to me. I've learned to let it go in one ear and out the other. But last year when my car finally died I decided I'm making great money it's time I have a newer nicer car so I financed one which pissed him off to no end... he told me that I didn't have his permission to buy a new car with my hard earned paychecks... big fight ensued and he still throws it in my face.
We've been loving together for over 3 years and he has refused to allow me to pay any bills at all. But that didn't stop him from keeping me broke. I willingly go and buy groceries and household/personal care items. But it got to the point I was spending $300-400 every two weeks on that plus take out almost every night because he didn't want what I had taken out for dinner. So that quickly doubled to $ 400 on groceries and carry out and another 200 to 300 on household and personal needs a month. And he would always complain about how broke I was. I literally put $100 a week in my gas tank. Not to mention I have car payment, car insurance, cell phone and what not plus the 1000-1100 a month on groceries and carryout....
He claims he takes care of me.... but I beg to differ, he doesn't pay my bills or buy my food or anything.. he pays his house payment and utilities, which he refuses to let me help pay.
He expects me to come.home.after work and not just cook for.him but also clean up after him. We're talking he is a slob... he takes his clothes off and throws them.in the middle of the living room floor, he piles his night stand up with everything and same for the kitchen table. Complains about messes and clutter when I haven't even been allowed to bring anything of mine except clothing. He spits in the bathtub and leaves it or the sink (a loggy) he doesn't flush the toilet. Hardly ever helps me do anything around the house.... sits on his ass while I work mine off and come home.and still don't get to relax...
Likes to tell me.that I wouldn't have anything at all.if it weren't for him.... when all I can think is buddy the amount of food and take out I buy a month plus all of your personal needs and all the household needs I could rent my own place and stock up and still have money to spare....

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That account got lost on my phone that I ditched when running from the cops so I have to use this new account. Yeah, a lot of bad stuff happened but I finally reignited the fire in my soul after 8 months in rehabs and being trapped in Florida. I'd like to happily announce to you all do not take meth heroin fentanyl Xanax or ketamine because I was dosing all 5 of those + weed and alcohol every daily. Turned to selling drugs to support my $500 a day habit. Ended up getting evicted 3 times and living in crackhouses to save rent money. I got way too cocky, thought I could prove to everyone I could handle it. I lost all my real friends because everyone became scared of me. That drove me further into this positive reinforcing spiral. Long long story short, I realized that all of this began with the butterfly effect beginning in childhood, this applies to everyone. The smallest things in your childhood which you thought meant nothing may actually be the source of your current problems. Someone told me I was ugly as a kid, which made me genuinely believe it my whole life until 22, causing a butterfly effect chain reaction that led me here. And so I never tried to find love. No wonder why I felt dead and empty when I finally got everything I thought I wanted. But what I thought I wanted was influenced by the music I listened to and the people I hung around. And they were bad bad people. That event messed up my ego, trying to prove to myself and everyone I was worth something when really you don't need to stand out, I don't need to become this multi millionaire drug deale engineer anymore, Im finally okay with being a normal person who just needs a wifey to be happy and nothing else. and lemme tell y'all, every action you take is because of either your ego, your moral compass/ethics, or your inner desires. Now the problem with those childhood events was that it completely fucked up my ego. When any of these 3 motivators conflict with each other, it causes erratic behavior, not knowing what you really want because those 3 completely different personalities comprising the voices in your head are conflicting with each other. Some of the actions I took were to protect my ego and not following what I really wanted- just a little love. My problem was my thought processes. I thought it was weak to show love, so I pretended to be something I truly did not like deep down: that crazy drug dealer party addict. It's crazy how the person you were 7 years ago would hate the person you are now and be in denial that they will ever become that. And denial of your true emotions is a one way ticket to change into something you believe is right, but deep down ur subconscious knows that's not what you like. Sorry if my post sound like a crack rant, I lost everyone, so this is where I'm going to vent myself. The problem with society is that everyone's convinced men can't show their emotions. Your thoughts dictate your destiny and who you will become. It's all about how you react to situations. I was the goofy kid in class always interrupting and cracking jokes to get attention because I did not get enough attention at home. I always smiled, and people never took me seriously because of my reputation. So I moved out the country to Toronto, and I kept restarting my whole life because I would always lose everyone and not know why I was so lonely, until now. I was addicted to shock humor, and my thoughts convinced me that people thought it was funny. It was not, but rather annoying and embarrassing.

Posting on my profile, the AITA mods denied this update on their sub which is fine.
Original post here
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She had another long fit last night. For two hours there was a lot of screaming and crying. Per some of your suggestions, I recorded some of it from my room at different intervals. I sent it in the housemate group chat with the following message:
“This is what I’m hearing night after night. It keeps me awake and at this point I feel like complete garbage every day because I can’t sleep. Can we address this tomorrow before I complain to the landlord.”
Well the housemate didn’t take too kindly to that and we had an argument (at 3 AM). He once again said I was an “unsympathetic AH.” He claimed to be good friends with the landlord and threatened to have my tenancy terminated if I complained. When I brought up the fact that I pay rent and she doesn’t he said she’s been paying rent to him which he then adds to his payment to the landlord. I let it go because I was too damn tired to be carrying on an argument.
​
This morning I had a conversation with the GF. She said the episodes are triggered by medication she uses to treat some sleep disorders/mental health concerns and she’s partially aware of the episodes occurring. She expressed why it’s important to her to stay in a less toxic environment than her home but I also tried to explain how badly this is impacting me. She and I are at an impasse. We both sympathize with the other but don’t want to budge on our stances.
​
Then the housemate blew up because she and I had talked about it. At this point the other guys were home too and it was honestly a chaotic mess of everyone talking/shouting over each other. I still have a headache from it. The landlord is supposed to be coming to inspect some maintenance issues later this week and I am going to tell him everything while he’s here.
​
The housemate is calling me an AH because the complaint might result in her having to stay at her place (odd because I thought he was "good friends" with the landlord) which is not a good environment for her emotionally. Surprisingly the other housemates are also saying I’m the AH because they’re afraid this will put them in jeopardy. I think their opinions would be different if they actually went through it while they were trying to sleep during the day.
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At this point I am just going to be trying to sleep and pack because I don’t see this ending well.

Today we are continuing the discussion we started last week about Wooyoung!
We've discussed our many confusions about this moment in the story where the boys finally lose the Cromer, and now we will work to make meaning through some sacred practices! Today, we're doing a sacred reading practice, which is where we attempt to make find new meaning through reading a single line very deeply.

03: Sacred Reading Practice

GD: The line is 4, which I'm interpreting as:

Tired of being chased and running away, we fell asleep immediately, and in the meantime, the girl healed my ankle.

But there are arguably two clauses in that sentence. We could just look at the second one "in the meantime, the girl healed my ankle."
BobbyJ: Not arguably even. There just are two clauses
GD: Lol yes
BobbyJ: Okay. Well. I'm down for whichever
GD: I think let's just do the second clause because it's the part that is mostly on 4. Alright, so, what's happening at a narrative level?
BobbyJ: Ateez have just escaped the guardians for the second time but lost the Cromer in the process because they chose to save Wooyoung. Though that might be conjecture on my part. So just--they escaped but lost the cromer
GD: Yeah, I have so many questions, but there are no answers. So the next step
BobbyJ: Actually it's not even that they escaped
GD: Right--they just left after getting the thing they wanted
BobbyJ: The guardians leave and then the Grimes girl opens up her secret cave entrance to let them in. Is it a cave actually?. . . Yes. A cave in the forest
GD: That's what it suggests. So, what's happening at an allegorical level? What does this remind you of in other stories, other parts of ateez lore, etc.
This is only mildly relevant, but it is what I immediately thought of: my writer friend and I often joke about how someone in our stories always hurts their ankle in third act
BobbyJ: The Grimes girl reminds me a bit of Primrose Everdeen. As like an archetype
GD: Oh! I agree
BobbyJ: The young innocent and trusting girl. I want to talk about how she trusts them immediately
GD: I have two differing thoughts/questions on that, actually. Does she trust them because she too recognizes their faces? Or is it more of an intuit/innocence thing?
BobbyJ: I was just thinking about that--does she recognize them? And my question is, do the people in strictland know what Halateez look like? They wear masks and hats. Like, she never says "wow y'all look just like the Black Pirates.” Not just because she can't. But I'm not sure that Halateez's faces are widely known
GD: Also, thinking ahead, the brother seems to explain a lot of things to Hwa, and he wouldn't need to do that if they assumed they were the Black Pirates
BobbyJ: Right. It's the uniform that is recognizable
GD: Have you read a Christmas Carol?
BobbyJ: Ages ago, but yes
GD: You know the ghost of Christmas present? How he has the two children underneath his robe that are for like want and ignorance? The grimes kids sort of remind me of that, but with like innocence and faith. The opposite side of humanity
BobbyJ: Wow I have no memory of that at all. But, yes. They seem to represent the goodness that is trying to survive
GD: I taught Christmas Carol to 7th graders so my knowledge of it runs bone deep
BobbyJ: I only taught it for one year before I was like "how about we don't?"
GD: LOL. 7th graders do not understand or appreciate it at all
It is, on the other hand, one of my favorite stories of all time, so I do listen to it every year
Anyways, every thing in the story is metaphorical, basically, since it's a parable. And it makes me think about some of the thoughts I've been having as we read this story. Like, the story itself is very streamlined, which you can argue is because they have to fit it into these short diaries
but, I guess I would argue that they're also relying on a shared understanding and metaphor to make the story work despite the streamlining of it. Which is why we are able to so easily connect with it and pull a lot of different meanings. And I do mean streamlined in that they leave a lot of things out and skip over a lot of parts--not that it's simple.
BobbyJ: But back to the original question--I do think that it is innocence that leads the girl to open her home to them. She probably saw that they were being chased by the guardians and likely knows what it's like to run for her life. She's been taken by them at least once before. I still think it's interesting that they chose to take her voice rather than recondition her.
GD: I agree on the innocence, and as an aside, I feel like the girl without a voice is an archetype as well? Like it represents something on a deeper level, and if you think about the story as a metaphor instead of a traditional hero’s journey, the only correct choice was to have an innocent girl with no voice.
I sort of have an interest in the phrase "in the mean time" and the word "heal.” We talked a bit about what does it mean that she healed it so quickly, and I guess looking at those words now, it reminds me of the saying "time heals all wounds"
BobbyJ: I interpret it more as she "treated" his ankle with some herbs or something.
GD: I also interpret it that way
BobbyJ: But it also isn't clear how long they spend in the cave
GD: Gave him some ice or something
BobbyJ: Where would she get ice?
GD: The magic fridge she keeps in the cave
BobbyJ: I can't get over that they just immediately fell asleep. I don't care how tired I was, I would be freaking out. But that makes them also seem very innocent and trusting. Not that they would need to be wary about a young boy and girl.
GD: This is what I mean when I say streamlined. We literally skip over any normal human behavior, and have to interpret their actions based on metaphor for what it tells us about them
They should, absolutely, be demanding answers and losing their god damn mind. But they don't
And I think that's a little similar to what the writers do in the intro when they first arrive? They have the android guardians come immediately so we miss the story beat of the characters interacting and freaking out about what just happened. Normal story beats being streamlined by the use of metaphor so that the story is intuited instead of told
BobbyJ: Like, because we've been armed with so much character knowledge, we're left to interpret or supply all character-based actions and interactions ourselves.
Quick note--I've been editing on the side and last week you mentioned that Strictland might have advanced medicine that can insta-heal. So I'm bringing that back to the table
GD: Yes, I do think that's a reasonable interpretation for how Woo was healed in the meantime
I feel like people are often frustrated by the lack of clear answers in the diaries about some story things--and I guess my whole point today is that I think that's by design. The writers could have easily spelled it out if they wanted to, but being told things clearly doesn't necessarily make for an engaging story.
BobbyJ: Here's what I know about kpop fans (and people in general): they don't like uncertainties. It's why we're so obsessed with numbers. How do we know who's the best if we don't know how many albums they sold or streams they've earned?
GD: The world is an uncertain place--people want answers. Answers often do not exist
BobbyJ: Yes, it's understandable. But I'm not interested in that energy applied to art
GD: I think that's why the word heal is interesting to me. Regardless of what she did or how she did it, the important thing is that this young girl with no voice still made a difference with the skills that she does have, and she has arguably set off a series of events that will lead to the change of the whole world. Because she was kind.
What would've happened if she'd left them out there? Would they have survived? Would they have figured out what was going on? Who knows, you know? The character itself represents the power that a childlike innocence and faith can have against the evils of the world, so who cares if she used an ice pack or actual magic?
BobbyJ: Right. Kindness and hospitality are very overlooked qualities. And it's not just Ateez that she has helped along the way. She and her brother become wrapped up in the story as well and join in on the journey. It leads to Left Eye and the healing he experiences thanks to Yunho
Given what they represent, it makes their end all the more tragic.
GD: But sort of fitting...
It reminds me a little of the ending of the Hunger Games series? Innocence and kindness are values that get lost when evil takes over, and it is sad. We should be sad about that--and that's why you can't ever let evil win long term. It's why everyone has to keep fighting. No one should be silent and let it happen.
BobbyJ: I think too that choosing to do what's good and right doesn't guarantee you protection from evil. I think it's also telling that their deaths (or whatever happens to them actually?) are senseless? Like they don't lead to any grand conclusion. They are just more casualties of the war and of Z's greed or lust for power or whatever his deal is.
GD: Death is often senseless.
BobbyJ: It's dissatisfying on a narrative level, but still important
GD: I read The Inheritance Games recently, and I will probably write a post about this for booktiny, but there's a line from one of the characters about how "moral choices depend solely on the outcome of an action"
And he was talking about how when he's giving to charity, the impact he can make with his money tells him the morality of the giving. So, giving to a single homeless person wouldn't be as moral as giving to a town. And I don't think he was right, but it reminds me of some of the things at play here. A question of scales maybe? Like, if you give to a town, the homeless person there could still die, but maybe someone else wouldn't? Or you could give to the homeless person directly in the town and make sure he survives, but not at all change the suffering level of the rest of the town
BobbyJ: That's a millionaire question
GD: They are in fact millionaires in the book, and that's basically exactly what the main character tells him
Anyways, I don't have any meaning to pull from that and what happens to the Grimes/Left Eye. But I guess both things remind me of the fact that senseless and tragic things happen regardless of what you do, the question is how do you live with yourself and how do you keep going
BobbyJ: We can only do what we each are capable of. There's no amount of money I could give to a town that would make any sort of impact. But I could give $50 to a homeless person for them to eat for a few days. Am I less moral than a millionaire because of the size of my contribution?
But I think that connects to GG because she did what she could with what she had. Sure she just provided shelter for some boys but that relatively small gesture, like you said, created a wave of change
GD: Make a wave. I'm reminded of The Giver a bit too?
BobbyJ: You mean Jonas really only saved Gabriel? Or rather--on the surface he just saves this one child, but it had greater impact than that
GD: Sort of? I guess I'm thinking.. if you ignore the sequels, the end of the book was open to interpretation. And I did interpret it as Jonas and Gabriel dying. So, if you interpret it that way, then they didn't even really save themselves or make that change. But, they did release the memories hoping that the memories would cause the town to wake up one day, which we don't actually see. So it's like, we did this thing that may or may not have an impact because we couldn't sit by and do nothing.
I guess I'm saying something like, evil doesn't win when good people die senseless deaths--evil wins when everyone gives up.
BobbyJ: Mmmm, yes. I'm also thinking of our discussion two weeks about choice. You can only choose the sort of person you will be, not the outcomes of your choices
GD: Yeah, and I think it's just important to show what characters do when senselessly tragic things happen. Are they defeated? Or do they keep going? So story wise, the deaths aren't senseless at all, and they do represent the very real chaos and unfairness inherent in many aspects of life
BobbyJ: Yunho is really a perfect example of this. We don't get to see any of the fallout of his brother's second death, but we know he doesn't give up but he keeps fighting the fight that is arguably the reason his brother died
GD: Oh my god, I realized we still have 2 more steps to our reading practice. Any other thoughts about allegory before we talk about our own lives?
BobbyJ: I don't think so
GD: Okay, then what does this remind you of in your own life?
For me specifically, I keep noting and coming back to the words "in the meantime", and I guess it is making me think about what I'm doing with my "meantime" if that makes sense?
BobbyJ: Right--like it feels like I spend a lot of time waiting for things to happen. But that period of waiting doesn't need to be a stagnant time for me, you know?
GD: My "what is the text inviting you to do?" is related to this. Anything else it reminds you of in your own life before we go to that?
BobbyJ: I think this idea that she did what she could with what she had. It often feels like I could be so much more [fill in the blank] if I could have/be/do this thing.
GD: Yeah, I agree completely. I could be the person I want to be only if [whatever]
BobbyJ: I don't know if this is an internet comparison thing or if it's my inability to measure up to my own standards. But I appreciate that GG didn't have a grand house, but she still offered her humble little cave
GD: We've talked about this before, but studies show that comparison is one of the most natural human things we do. Like even if we don't want to compare ourselves to others, our brains do it without conscious thought. The internet just gives us just more people to compare ourselves with
You're a teacher, and I was a teacher, and I'm thinking about what it was like to be a new teacher. IDK how it went for you, but I was given nothing and had to really figure it out for myself
BobbyJ: Same
GD: Looking back, I feel it would've been nice for someone to give me access to their cave, you know? Even if the cave was humble--it would've been nice
BobbyJ: Everyone told me that year that I did a great job, but I remember telling my mentor teacher (that I rarely spoke to bc she was super busy) that I felt bad for the kids that year because I knew I wasn't doing the best I was really capable of
I wish that I'd had a more developed mentor relationship with that teacher but it just wasn't a priority. And it's something that's very important to me even today where I feel pretty settled into my role. So, I've told my principal and my department chair that if they hire someone new to teaching, I'd be happy to partner with them because I feel like having someone you can just connect with on a regular basis who is invested in your success can really make or break your early teaching career
GD: I felt this way about the students too...
Like I had a list of students that I gave to my principle when I quit and said "all of these kids are kids that I meet with every week to check on. I go to their teachers and ask about their grades, and I talk to the kids in the halls before or after school. Someone has to do that when I go."
Relationships, and feeling like someone is on your side, are just so vitally important
BobbyJ: Yes. Building relationships with the kids is a big deal at my school. Which since I'm at a mid-sized private school is decidedly easier than most public schools. I have 93 students, which is still a lot to get to know, but I also have the advantage of having kids with parents who really care. So it's not like I'm the only adult in their lives who's trying to keep them afloat.
GD: Yeah, this was when I was 504 coordinator at a public school, so genuinely kids who would and probably did fall through the cracks when I left, which I felt soooo guilty about and still do
BobbyJ: But that's not and shouldn't be your responsibility. Which I know you know
GD: Logic and feelings rarely match up, unfortunately
BobbyJ: But the teaching profession really comes with a lot of guilt built in because we deal with children
GD: Teaching in public school, I had 140 students. As a 504 coordinator, I had the whole school
Anyways, if we get side tracked by the failing education system, we will never finish
BobbyJ: Seriously
GD: So, as far as what it's inviting me to do, it is to use my meantime more thoughtfully
My author friend is currently working on a book where the theme is about growth, and we had a 3 hour long conversation about what it means to grow and whether or not we had a moral choice to grow, and I argued that we didn't. And I maintain that change is constant, but growth is a capitalist trick/trap. But with the same breath, I'd say that I am often frustrated with the ways in which I fail to use my own meantime 'well'
Perhaps on the day, 'well' means productively, and perhaps some days it means something similar to healing, and maybe it could also mean something akin to what GG does: helping others, making a difference, etc. So I want to be more cognizant of how I'm using my meantime instead of just letting it pass me by and being frustrated when I get into bed at night thinking about where my day went
BobbyJ: I guess I would argue it depends on your definition of growth, but I disagree that growth is a capitalist trap/trick. There's a person that I want to be, and I don't believe the choices I make to become that person are related to capitalism at all. But if you're saying growth as in increased productivity--which I think is what you mean?--then yes. Capitalism all the way down. The idea that I MUST spend all my minutes productively is nonsense. I'm not a machine
GD: I suppose my real thought is something more like capitalism has invaded our vocabulary in such a way that it is hard to remove the capitalist baggage I associate with the word growth.
BobbyJ: Interesting. The concept of growth is entirely divorced from capitalism in my mind
GD: Perhaps this is why I'm so anti-capitalist. It's ruined me.
BobbyJ: Like I automatically think mental/emotional/spiritual
GD: I call that enlightenment and fulfillment, not growth, but of course it is a type of growth
BobbyJ: You need the specificity to create distance
GD: When I hear growth, I think "more" and "better" and "bigger"
BobbyJ: Huh.
GD: I grew up in a very capitalistic environment, including going to law school, and am really tapped into the hustle culture (like there is no one more likely to monetize a hobby than me) so I think it's just a product of my environment
BobbyJ: There is no one less likely to hustle than me
GD: Even on reddit--I could've just had a nice time discussing ateez, but I turned my hobby into a job (even if it is one I don't get paid for). I took us diving deep into these lore books and decided we should make it into content. I just cannot help myself
BobbyJ: Would bible study be as fulfilling for you if it never left our chat?
GD: I genuinely have no idea. I think it would probably maintain it's fulfillingness, but I think it would lose something else. I don't know what that something else is? We know most people aren't interested in this, but there is something about sharing it that feels Important in the big scheme of things
BobbyJ: I feel you're being too critical of yourself. There's a difference between trying to monetize something and simply wanting to share something with others who might appreciate it.
And I think it goes back to choosing to be the person you want to be? You find the diaries interesting and important and why wouldn't you want to share that?
GD: I think this is where my critique of capitalism comes from though
BobbyJ: That it makes things seem capitalist when they aren't?
GD: I am more likely than anyone to try to monetize things I enjoy, which I think is not so much my own capitalism as much as this feeling in my soul that finds it deeply frustrating that the things that make life worth living for me are not things that I can get paid to do. I think it's me being frustrated at having to play a game I don't want to play. If I knew of a way to monetize our bible studies, believe me, I'd be doing it.
BobbyJ: Podcast. It's right there
GD: The obvious answer is a podcast with ads, but the amount of things I'd need to learn compared to the very little money we would make is the only reason I haven't forced you into it
BobbyJ: Funny considering it's always been my idea
GD: I have made the very capitalist determination that I need to wait for you to learn all the things that need to be learned
BobbyJ: Well, my fatal flaw is inaction, so you will be waiting a good long while.
GD: I mean, it's entirely possible that I will decide enough is enough and this has to bring me some income, but for now, I can wait
BobbyJ: I can't wait to be earning $3 a month from bible study
GD: Incredible you think we'll get 3 whole dollars a month
BobbyJ: I dream big.
Okay, so. . . can I be honest and say that this passage is not inviting me to do anything at all?
GD: Yes
BobbyJ: And I can't say whether it's the passage itself just not fully resonating with me or if it's more where I am in my life right now
GD: We did shorten the passage to a relatively small sentence, but just in general, I think it's okay to be fine with examining something and then putting it back down without letting it really touch you
BobbyJ: I do think that's true. But I'm also in this weird and awkward place where I know something bad is on the horizon and I'm forced to just wait for it to happen without knowing when that might be. So, I'm in a meantime. And during this meantime, intentional growth is not for me.
GD: There is something to be said for not examining our meantime to closely too. We've certainly talked in bible study about living in the present and being grateful for small moments

04: A Closing Hymn

BobbyJ: What is our song for Wooyoung? Or for GG?
GD: Hmmm. This one feels hard to me. Have we used Better before?
BobbyJ: We have not.
Can I make an odd suggestion? Just go right off book
GD: Yes
BobbyJ: I would like to consider dedicating Eden's 'Little Bird' to GG
GD: Well in this household we love Eden. Let me look it up real quick. Remind myself of it
BobbyJ: It's very melancholy but a bit hopeful?
GD: Yes, I like it. So today's bible study song is Eden's Little Bird for GG?
BobbyJ: Yes, if you approve. (A quick note on the lyrics.)
GD: I love that bit about each translator doing it differently, which is why I would like KQ to give me all of their official translations for each song please.
I approve.

05: Closing Rosary

BobbyJ: I think my prayer for Wooyoung is that he will always be surrounded by as much love as he gives
GD: We see this in real life too--his love attracts love. Everyone loves Wooyoung, and I think it's because he gives his love so freely once he's decided you're one of his
BobbyJ: I have a rosary thought--are we ready to close?
GD: Yes
BobbyJ: Never alone
GD: Wooyoung
BobbyJ: Be the light
GD: Halazia
BobbyJ: Well done everybody
GD: High fives all around.
Nice work on the rosary. My brain has stopped braining.
BobbyJ: Wooyoung is an inspiration to us all
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And that's it for our discussion on Wooyoung! Next week we will be back with the start of Seonghwa's page. Let us know what you thought of Wooyoung's section and whether you had any different thoughts on the quote we looked at today!