Swiss country lawn & crafts

Virtual Stitching Group

2014.04.05 21:16 Virtual Stitching Group

A virtual stitching group where people cross stitch the same design/theme and share their progress.
[link]


2012.02.11 08:00 ladiamante Bobbin Lace

A place for bobbin lacers - new and old - to gather and exchange information and ideas. Just like we do when we are all together in real life!
[link]


2018.09.05 02:49 AbsolutTBomb Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians

A subreddit for the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians. Cherokee, North Carolina
[link]


2023.05.29 01:43 LessImplement9400 Boyfriend's friends talking about us behind our back

My boyfriend, Ed, and I currently live in a city that we met in over a year ago. He is originally from a different area of our country and we are moving down there in a couple weeks.
Ed used to be in a friend group that included a girl named Amber & his ex Sarah. They don't all live in the same town/city but just close by each each other.
Unfortunately Sarah still lives in this area and is still friends with his old friends, and apparently she talked shit & made up rumours about him when he moved to where we are now, which was 3 years ago.
3 weeks ago Amber and Ed were messaging as he was saying he was moving back and she mentioned she was still friend with Sarah. Ed said he doesn't want to see Sarah but that he'd like to meet up and have drinks with everyone else.
Well Ed's best friend, Henry, who also lives in this area went out for drinks with this friend group today & has relayed back to Ed that they were talking about us.
Henry told Ed to stop messaging Amber and that she's telling everyone "everything". He also said they don't want to hang out anymore.
We don't know the specifics of what was said but considering the history it's clear it probably wasn't positive. Henry basically said we can't be friends with that group as Sarah will always be there and Amber will always tell her everything.
Now if they're close friends I can't blame Amber for telling Sarah any of this. That's just what friends do, that's fine.
It's more the talking about it in a group setting that rubs me the wrong way. And Ed told me that Amber has talked shit about Sarah to him before, even though they're meant to be friends. Henry said that Amber's a shit stirrer.
The whole situation just seems so childish and I definitely don't want to be friends with a group of people like this and luckily Ed feels the same way. I just hate drama like this and I really hope nothing more happens in relation to it.
submitted by LessImplement9400 to dating [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:40 LessImplement9400 Boyfriend's friends talking about us behind our back

My boyfriend, Ed, (22m) and I (23f) currently live in a city that we met in over a year ago. He is originally from a different area of our country and we are moving down there in a couple weeks.
Ed used to be in a friend group that included a girl named Amber & his ex Sarah. They don't all live in the same town/city but just close by each each other.
Unfortunately Sarah still lives in this area and is still friends with his old friends, and apparently she talked shit & made up rumours about him when he moved to where we are now, which was 3 years ago.
3 weeks ago Amber and Ed were messaging as he was saying he was moving back and she mentioned she was still friend with Sarah. Ed said he doesn't want to see Sarah but that he'd like to meet up and have drinks with everyone else.
Well Ed's best friend, Henry, who also lives in this area went out for drinks with this friend group today & has relayed back to Ed that they were talking about us.
Henry told Ed to stop messaging Amber and that she's telling everyone "everything". He also said they don't want to hang out anymore.
We don't know the specifics of what was said but considering the history it's clear it probably wasn't positive. Henry basically said we can't be friends with that group as Sarah will always be there and Amber will always tell her everything.
Now if they're close friends I can't blame Amber for telling Sarah any of this. That's just what friends do, that's fine.
It's more the talking about it in a group setting that rubs me the wrong way. And Ed told me that Amber has talked shit about Sarah to him before, even though they're meant to be friends. Henry said that Amber's a shit stirrer.
The whole situation just seems so childish and I definitely don't want to be friends with a group of people like this and luckily Ed feels the same way. I just hate drama like this and I really hope nothing more happens in relation to it.
TL;DR My boyfriend & I are moving close to his old friends and ex girlfriend and apparently they were talking about us behind our back today. Makes me uncomfortable and just anxious as I hate drama & potential confrontation.
submitted by LessImplement9400 to relationships [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:39 ConfusedGuy203 College of winterhold crashes

I've been using this LO for some time and made some changes to it(not mid playthrough of course) and most recently i've been getting constant crashes when going in either hall of attainment or hall of countenance, but hall of elements is loading fine. I think the problem is with the loading and not the area itself since loading a save of a character that's already inside works just fine, it's going through the door that makes it so at the ending of the loading the game just freezes. I thought it was The Magical College Bundle, but thats been on my LO for quite a while and that never happened before, so either some mod that wasn't there before is causing it or some updated caused it. Here's the LO, with the most recent additions having an * at the end of their name and the + before if they're a patch for other mods. Any advice for the LO in general is welcome as well :)
• Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch
• Unofficial Skyrim Survival Patch
• Reconciliation: QOL and Bugfixes
• +USSEP
• Unofficial Creation Club Updates - October Pack [XB1]*
• Simple Workaround Framework*
• Omen Weathers*
• Run For Your Lives
• Realistic Conversations
• Guard Dialogue Overhaul
• Skyrim Reputation
• Better Intimidation
• Even Better Quest Objectives
• The Choice Is Yours
• At your own pace - AIO/Listen
• Trained and Skilled*
• Laro's Perks, Magics and More
• Guild Leader Perks
• XP32 Maximum Skeleton+Realistic Ragdoll and Force
• Feminine Females
• Gritty Animation Requiem 2.0
• Cloaks face masks and all sorts 2
• Visible Favorited Gear
• Wear Multiple Rings
• Wearable Lanterns
• Become a Bard
• Mystical Scholarship: The Magical College Bundle 1K
• Merchants Chests on Display
• Night Mother's Embrace - An Assassin's Tale
• Walk With The Shadows - A Nightingale Bundle
• Comprehensive First Person Animation Overhaul - CFPAO
• Rebalanced Leveled Lists
• Rebalanced Encounter Zones and Leveled Actors
• OBIS - SE (full version)
• DLC Integration
• Stronger Bosses Skyrim
• Enhanced Atronachs - With Levelling and Luminosity
• Reliquary of Myth
• True Lords of Oblivion
• Dragon Priest Masks Tweaks
• Dragon Priest Staffs
• Rich Skyrim Merchants
• JaySerpa's Quest Expansion Bundle
• Melodies of Skyrim: All In One*
• Reverb and Ambiance Overhaul
• Phenderix Magic Sounds Improved
• Enhanced Draugr Fx
• Display Enhancements
• Relighting Skyrim
• ELE Interior Lighting Overhaul
• SMIM Essentials
• Vivid Landscapes - Alternate Tundra
• WizKid Signs
• 3D Log Farmhouse Fences
• Skyland - Dirt Roads
• Dark Ages: Sky Haven Temple and Alduin's Wall
• Detailing The Eldritch - Complete
• Dark Ages: Dragon Textures
• Draugr Retexture: Bloody Black
• Ultimate Sephoraz Beauty Bundle
• Flesh Spells Fx Restored[XB1]*
• Heavy Armory - New Weapons
• Old Kingdom - Armor Overhaul
• Old Kingdom - Weapon Overhaul
• + USSEP
• Old Kingdom - Crafting Add-On
• Glorious Dwarven Metal - Old Kingdom
• Elaborate Textiles Alternate
• (Lite) Guard Armor Overhaul
• Konahrik's Accoutrements
• Skyrim Sewers Bundle
• Unique Armors & Weapons - Unenchanted And Craftable
• Greener Glass
• SeeEnchantments
• Lockpicking Interface Redone*
• Embers HD
• Natural Forces Bundle - Wet
• Frozen Electrocuted Combustion - Realistic
• Cannibal Draugr on Solstheim
• Dwemer Spectres
• Sylvan Spirits
• Real Wildlife
• Birds of Skyrim
• Birds And Flocks
• Prismatic Insects
• Kiss My Grass
• Treeslod_23
• Landscape Fixes For Grass Mods
• Bells of Skyrim
• Tactical Valtheim
• Halted Stream Mine
• Provincial Courier Service
• MAP - Project Hippie
• Trees in Cities
• Riften Eastern Road
• Manor Roads
• Man Those Borders!
• EasierRider's Dungeon Pack
• The Blackest Reaches
• The Marshlands
• Master The Summit
• Nordic Ruins Of Skyrim
• Holidays
• Lanterns of Skyrim - Special Edition
• Lost Enchantments for The Discerning Adventurer
• Perk Points Per Level
• Truly Absorb Dragon Souls - Heavy
• VioLens
• More Blood and Gore!
• Know Your Enemy - All in One
• + AIO + OKA
• Immersive Movement
• Smilodon
• + Immersive Movement
• + Realistic Damage
• Mortal Enemies
• + Immersive Movement
• Better Combat AI
• Realistic AI Detection
• Sneak Tools
• Archery Tweaks Plus
• Silent Arrows
• More Effective Blocking
• No Draugr Disarm
• The Fire Within - Shouts Powered by DragonSouls
• Clear UI - Not So Sensible Preset*
• Pastel Map Markers*
• Updated Mine Markers
• Cheat Room
• Quest Debugger
• Free Player Home Heartfire Building*
• Improved Backpacks V2*
• Kip Ahrk Bahlok - Food and Hunger
• Dragonborn and Dawnguard Delayed
• Mystic Condenser
• Readable Shadomarks*
• Awesome Potions Simplified by Revoith
• Flying Vampire Lord
• Alternate Start - Live Another Life
• Abandoned Prison Tweaks
• + EBQO - Alternate Start
• Relationship Dialogue Overhaul
• + RDO - USSEP
• Immersive Hunter Dialogue
• Immersive Follower Framework
• + RDO
• YOU DON'T KNOW ME - No NPC Greetings
• Bat Vampire Lord
submitted by ConfusedGuy203 to SkyrimModsXbox [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:34 Hallucino_jen Just going to leave this here…

Just going to leave this here… submitted by Hallucino_jen to annaxsitarsnark [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:28 AutoModerator Paul Xavier and Anthony Gallo - 14 Day Filmmaker (Here)

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submitted by AutoModerator to PaulXavierCreator [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:24 jasminescented099 32F from the UK - Looking for international friends [friends]

Hi everyone! I'm looking to make some fun interesting penpals around the world to talk too. I'm a creative minded person and would like to connect with people all over the world from different cultural backgrounds to share some cool conversations and learn more about different life perspectives or just have some random chats :D some of my hobbies/interests
Fitness i enjoy working out, hiking
Horror movies from the classics to the latest releases
fantasy/scifi books like dune & the wheel of time series, biographies about famous figures of history
traveling exploring new destinations to feed my mind with the rich cultural uniqueness of the world
The outdoors camping, climbing, hiking
Retro music enjoying exploring some 80s and 90s music lately
Astronomy & star gazing exploring the vastness of the universe is always fascinating
TV shows i enjoyed south park, breaking bad, black mirror, game of thrones, the last of us, family guy
Tell me more about yourself and your country/culture looking forward to it :)
submitted by jasminescented099 to MeetPeople [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:22 pussy_ontha_chainwax Sooo am I in the club now!? 🔥🔥

Sooo am I in the club now!? 🔥🔥
Can’t wait to do some taste testing 🤤
submitted by pussy_ontha_chainwax to spicy [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:15 ShoeLace1291 Cant see the jerky recipe in my preserving bin?

Cant see the jerky recipe in my preserving bin? submitted by ShoeLace1291 to playark [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:14 SupportBackground562 Some Challenge coins I've earned

Some Challenge coins I've earned
Desert Talon last October coin For competing
KC-135 Areal Refueling & Transport coin Our ASI (Col) gave this as it was her plane she'd pilot
Huachuca Challenge Drill Meet from Buena JROTC "Best in the West" For competing
American Valor I bought it in the USAFA when our unit went there
Alhambra Coin of Excellence This was fun, I bought three Huachuca Drill coins, one for myself, one for my brother and my (then) girlfriend, but my brother didn't t want one because he didn't earn it. So I traded it for the Alhambra Coin of Excellence. Wade, if you're seeing this, hope you're doing good and that you had a good Frieshmen year, Air Force JROTC is still the bear!
submitted by SupportBackground562 to AFJROTC [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:13 chasethebread Picking Up Bengal at 17 weeks Advice

hey all - hope you and your bengals are doing absolutely fantastic,
apologies if my concerns aren’t warranted but i’ll be picking up my bengal at 17 weeks old and i could not be more excited. for context, i’ve fostered a cat before for a year and absolutely loved my time with him, and did a lot of research to land on wanting & now in the plans of getting a bengal kitty. this is my first time to officially be a pet dad, hence my worries:
i read a lot online how it’s recommended to adopt your cat at around 12 weeks old, but i’ll unfortunately be out of the country (just graduated uni, so doing a 2 week trip with some friends), and will be picking him up right after i return. at that time, he will be 17 weeks old so i wanted to ask y’all if you think that’s ok and whether he’ll still be able to be trained to do tricks and generally be happy / accustomed to me & my homie. any input would be so greatly appreciated. thank you so much in advance!!
submitted by chasethebread to bengalcats [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:13 Copperjaw [Online][5E][EST][LGBTQ+][Sandbox][Weekly] Established Group Looking for 2 more Players to join an ongoing Theros (Greek) Campaign!

New Players Welcome!
Feel free to take your time applying and DM me if you have any questions! Applications are open through Friday!

What mysteries do the Gods Keep?

"When secrets reveal themselves, even the Gods hold their breath."
~ Keeper Theos, Ignis Familia

A little self introduction

Hi there! I'm a DM whose been running games for my friends for 4 years now. I love to world build, create engaging stories, and give my players epic moments! I aim to always make immersive experiences for my players, so they can explore all they can see.
Now a little about me. I'm a 27 year old guy from the U.S. who loves D&D. My friends call me an artist, resident nerd, and a guy who likes to cook too much. I love to DM and find new friends to share my world with and give fun challenges, great stories, and valuable rewards so every session feels like an epic adventure.

The Party

Our party of five adventurers are taking to the wilds and open seas to unearth ancient ruins, arcane secrets, and dangerous monsters beneath the depths! The party is made of friendly, warm, and excited players who love to build moments with each other.
Party Comp! A Wizard ( Bladesinger ), and 2 Clerics! ( Knowledge & Trickery )
Please enjoy checking out the campaigns setting introduction below!

Adventures in Anglorak : Campaign Intro

Anglorak is a Theros inspired setting, full of lost empires, ancient secrets, and awaiting new heroes to rise. You can journey into monster-infested wilds, voyage across treasure-laden seas, and traverse the worlds edge before the Gods. A land where city states and sovereign regions vie for power and opportunity. Players can join factions, uncover plots, and make their mark on the world. It is a world handcrafted to make your character's shine.
Many city states and regions can be found in Anglorak. You'll find below a taste of three more powerful city-states across the landscape.

Metio : The polis of travelers, discovery and learning. The ever winding Metian spires and waterways are home to thinkers, merchants, and scholars. It's a home for those seeking respite, refuge, and opportunity regardless of status.
Dodaca : The polis of warriors, conquest, and valor. Where politics gives sway to strength. A land of warriors, travelers, and seekers of power. It is the people of Dodaca whom drive back bestial hordes, and bring the badge of honor to every battle fought.
Tosia : The polis of passions, fury, and curiosity. The Tosian people are ever forging new ideas, trinkets, and all forms of creation. For any traveler venturing through it said you can always find an artisan for any desire one may hold.

Your Heroic Journey

For any adventure there must be a start. You'll find a campaign introduction below.
Welcome to Metio, The Polis of Fortune, the namesake capital of the Metian city state, where life is made through adventure or artistic expression shown through paintings, discoveries, or a finely crafted blade. The city's artistic expression has brought countless stories told in lands known and unknown claiming every street is lined in color, and every blade more beautiful then the last.
You find yourself searching for opportunity at the Brazen Hydra, a tavern full of bounties, ruckus, and adventurers spinning tails and plotting their next journey beyond the cities mighty walls. You had heard this is the place to find those looking for amazing talent to take on adventures.

Character Systems We Use

Milestone Leveling : The campaign is about the parties story. Achievements, story progression, and major events reward the party with levels, and even feats. I want you to be rewarded for playing your character.
Multi-Classing : Multi-Classing is allowed within what makes sense for the character. A choice should be story driven and thematic.
Level 8 Start & Magic Items : Start at the same level as the entire party, and dive right into adventure with a magical boost.
Level 1 Origin & Background Feats : Every character gets 2 bonus feats at level 1 from a set of selected story driven feats & between Tough, Magic Initiate, or Skilled.
Bonus Feats : Every time you gain an ASI you always gain a +1 to a stat and either a half or full feat.
Piety Paths : Follow your characters virtues and beliefs and earn powerful boons for following your character's goals.
Supernatural Gifts : Earn supernatural gifts to further your character's heroic journey, or even start as an oracle or iconoclast character.
Spell & Martial Mastery : Master weapons and signature spells to make them more powerful with unique versions and skills for your character.
Expanded Weapons : Get access to advanced weapon options to further develop your character.
Crafting : You can find and acquire materials to craft your own items from elemental gems to infernal weapons.
Homebrew : We use well tested homebrew to make characters feel unique and special to help flavor characters to what you want them to be. You can find this in home brew feats, spells, subclasses, and magic items.
Rule of Cool : I always support players being creative and curious. Should an action allow for something truly heroic I always give my players a shot!

World Tools

Live Calendar : A calendar of holidays and events to track your parties journey through Anglorak.
Interactive World Map : A world map full of details of landmarks, cities, and regions to help you learn and plot your path across Anglorak and beyond.
Foundry / Discord / D&D Beyond : We play our games in Foundry, and players get access to nearly all the books on D&D Beyond to develop your character, and a personal discord for the campaign.

Scheduling

Sessions are on Saturday nights starting at 8:00 PM EST.
We play 3-4 Hours weekly, going longer if time allows.

Expectations

Application Format :

If this kind of game sounds like a good fit for you please send me a DM following this format. We will read through every application through next week so feel free to take your time.
Name / Pronouns :
Age :
Timezone :
Tell me about you :
Your favorite part of D&D :
D&D Experience ( Any memorable moments? ) :
Campaign Expectations :
----
What kind of characters do you like to play?
Character Concept(s) :
submitted by Copperjaw to lfg [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:08 MyFuneralHomeStories Chapter Two: three drinks, Two dead & One Candy Bar

I was pouring drink number three when my phone rang… I'm 20 years old, a little drunk and in about an hour, I will have almost shot my colleague in the chest in front of three police officers and two frozen dead bodies. Weird. I can't say that I'm mentally ready for what I'm about to see this evening, who’s ever really ready to walk into a garage with a Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullets and two frozen gang bangers inside. My name is Grant and These are My Funeral Home Stories.
Chapter Two: three drinks, Two dead & One Candy Bar
It's about six o'clock on the 3rd Tuesday in February and factoring in the windchill, it's negative 14 degrees outside. I've been off of work for about an hour and I'm not on call tonight…So naturally, I'm just finishing up my second drink and considering whether to order pizza or Chinese tonight. I use my finger to stop by drink from bubbling over and the phone rings. It’s Andy, one of the directors from the funeral home that’s on call when Ned and I are off AND apparently the person he's on call with this evening is unreachable…If it's your job to be on call, you don't want this to happen. It's almost the equivalent of a no call no show at any other job. If you're on call, the only thing you have to do is wait for the phone to ring and when it does ring, you answer it. It’s really not that hard.
Andy is calling me to ask if I would fill in and go on a police call with him. There was a shooting and apparently there are two frozen dead bodies in a car… inside the police station. OK. Why are they at the police station? Great question. Apparently it was too cold outside to investigate and process the crime scene so they moved the crime scene into a heated garage inside a police station. This all sounds incredibly interesting to me but there's only one problem… I'm drunk. Well, on my way to drunk and I'm not old enough to drink. I'm not going anywhere near a police station. I explained to Andy that I'm in no condition to drive to the funeral home and he'd have to find someone else. He interrupted me and said, “ but you're not old enough to drink. Stay put. I'm picking you up. See you in 10.” He hung up the phone before I had time to argue.
Welp. Looks like I'm going to the police station against all better judgment. I finish my third drink as I put on my black 3 button double breasted black suit by Chaps that I picked up at Kohls. (Side note: all my other suits were at the dry cleaners. I hate this suit. It makes me look like a walking rectangle.) It's our funeral home’s policy that we dress cleanly and professionally while in public. This means you ruin a lot of good dress clothes but at least you look sharp… and you can write off your dry cleaning as a job related expense.
I run a razor over my face sans shaving cream because I’m in a hurry and our funeral home also has a strict no facial hair policy. No mustaches, no goatees and definitely no beards. I'm not sure why this is a rule, It just is. I take an extra long look at myself in the mirror to make sure I have myself in order. The last thing I want to do tonight is walk into a police station looking like a sloppy, drunk unshaven underage mess. Could I get fired for getting an underage drinking ticket while on a death call? I sure hope not. I hear a horn honking in the driveway. I peak out the front window, Andy’s out front in our 2004 black Pontiac minivan. It’s a pretty slick…Instead of back seats, our van has a polished oak floor with rollers spaced evenly down the length of the van. These rollers aid in sliding caskets in and out without scratching the van or caskets.
I’m almost ready. I decided to wear a heavy wool four button top coat, scarf and rubberized dress boots by Ecco, all black of course. (Side note: Always spend extra money on ‘nicer’ boots. You don't want your socks wet on death calls.) Although I hate the suit I have on, I am wearing my favorite necktie. It's white, black and navy blue diagonally striped made from handwoven silk by Ralph Lauren. Very sharp. Remember this tie… my favorite tie, it’ll come up again later. On my way out the door I stuffed a handful of garlic flavored chips in my mouth and pulled a Nestle Butterfinger candy bar out of the pantry. The garlic will help cover up the three Jack and Cokes I just had and put a little food in my stomach. The Butterfinger…well, that's my reward. I'll eat it on the way home. I fucking love Butterfingers and why not reward myself for what I'm about to do? I'm not even on call tonight. I deserve it.
From my house to the police station, it’s about 10 minutes… a straight shot with no traffic. Andy starts nervously giggling almost immediately when my door closes and buckle my seatbelt. Funeral Directors are generally interesting people but our pal, Andy, he's a real card. I'm going to tell you a few things about Andy and hopefully won't sound too judgmental in the process. Andy had a gastric bypass surgery three years ago and as has lost about 150 pounds andI don't think he's gone clothes shopping since his weight loss. All of his suits look like they're about five sizes too big. His skin is loose around his jawline giving him a permanent droopy dog expression. It's weird seeing someone whose clothes and skin don't fit their body. He's a nervous guy and he's always afraid of getting in trouble…but somehow he's blindly confident. That's it for the positives.
Andy talks the most deliberate and malicious shit about everyone in the office. It's pathological at this point, I'm not sure he's even aware of it. You really have to watch what you say around this guy… I mean, if you don't want it repeated or used against you, don't say it around Andy. Andy's jumped from funeral home to funeral home around the country settling in towns just long enough to fuck things up and make a quick exit. He’s was a total creep and we found out a few years later that he was stealing from one of our funeral homes. He had his moments but for the most part, I didn't want anything to do with this guy…Especially after drinking almost half of my $36 bottle of Gentleman Jack. Actually, I'm probably just drunk enough to enjoy his company.
We turn on to Roosevelt, the police station is on our right. Andy has managed to keep the van under control even with the several inches of black ice and snow covering the roads. Andy tells me that we're to call a number when we're outside the police station parking garage and an officer will open the giant chain gate to let us in. The car with the dead bodies is in a separate heated garage inside the building to thaw out for processing.
It just dawned on me, I'm kind of hammered and last time I checked I'm still not old enough to drink… I feel my anxiety levels rising…I’m not super eager to walk into a police station in my current condition. My plan is to keep my head down and stay as far out of the officers’ breath smelling distance as possible. I'm so happy I decided to eat those chips before I left. I can still taste the garlic. Garlic breath is better than booze breath. I'm fairly certain they won't lock me up for having bad breath.
Andy calls the number, the gate opens and we drive down a pretty drastic slope and enter the garage filled with a fleet of police cars. There must be 40 decked out Chevy Impalas polished up and ready for dispatch. We pull forward and an officer signals us to stop next to a plain gray door in the center of a the cinder block wall on our right. Andy loaded two stretchers in the van this evening. One standard, one oversized, we get out of the van and unload both without incident. The officer walks to the back of the van and tells us to follow him.
We walk through the gray door and quickly move through three different beige hallways, no windows, just ugly plain cinderblock. I realized that I've completely lost my bearings. When we come to the end of the hallway with another gray door. I feel a combination of claustrophobia and vertigo hit me all at once or maybe that was drink number three kickin’ in. The officer opens the door and Andy and I wheel our stretchers into a 20 by 20 garage lit by the brightest fluorescent lights I've ever experienced. The temperature of the light in this room is unnerving among other things.
'Welcome to the crime lab garage' I think to myself. Immediately upon entering the room, I'm almost knocked to the floor by a smell that burns my nasal cavities. It wasn't the smell of rotting flesh or piss and shit, I’ve smelled all those things before. This was new. It’s so unique but the more Im exposed to it the more I realize I’ve smelled this before at the funeral home but I can’t place it….Then it hits me almost as intensely as the smell itself. Ammonia, that's it! It smells like someone took two or three large bottles of ammonia and just poured them all over the room. I look at Andy as we park the stretchers. We make eye contact and I pointed my nose while simultaneously making a confused face. “What the fuck is that?” I whisper.
Andy pulls two pair of blue heavy duty surgical gloves out of the front pocket of his stretcher, hands me a pair and then proceeds to blow my mind. He quietly tells me that the strong ammonia odor is coming from the blood. Apparently when someone dies suddenly all the blood cells in the body make one last screaming effort to stay alive and dump a ton of waste into the bloodstream. The waste is what gives the blood a strong scent of ammonia. You know when someone says they can smell blood in a movie or TV show? I think If this is what they're talking about.
Now that I have my gloves on and have adjusted to the smell, I take off my overcoat and suit jacket and tuck my tie between two buttons on my white dress shirt. This is simply precautionary. There is nothing worse than dipping your tie into something gross. It's almost always UNcleanable.
In this moment, I'm able to take in my surroundings. Perhaps it's the alcohol but something feels off. Under rows and rows of fluorescent lights there’s a maroon Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullet holes with all four of its doors and trunk wide open. Upon initial inspection, my eyes are drawn to two dead men in the backseat and rusted hood with a smattering of bullet holes. It seems that most of the shots were through the windshield, windows and door panels.The windshield is barely able to hold itself up.
Andy and I walk around the car to figure out our plan of attack. He flips open a black vinyl body bag, unzips it and places it on the ground next to the car and he tells me his plan. “If they’re frozen in a seated position, we won't be able to move em that easily… So we'll wiggle them out, lay them on the body bags and zip up the disaster pouch around them.” This sounds good to me. We move in.
We decided to start with the body in the driver's side backseat. The door’s already open and the hinges appear to be hyper extended. The crime scene techs probably bent the hinges while they were scrubbing the scene. Now up close, I’m finally able to take in the two dead men sitting in the backseat in front of me. These guys must have been a couple years older than me, both wearing Timberlands, black jeans and black jackets… like big puffy down jackets. One man has a New Era baseball cap on backwards while the other has a black stocking cap atop his head. I didn't see any logos but the brain matter, bullet holes and blood may have made it hard to notice. The ammonia smell inside the car is completely overwhelming. Blood is literally covering everything in the backseat. Chunks of thawing brain and meat are all over the headrest. I pick up a piece near the seat belt and squeeze it with my middle finger and thumb. It's still a little frozen so it crunches a bit before turning into mush between my fingers. I wiped my hand on a clean part of the interior.
Bullet holes are weird…For something that can end your life so quickly, they don't leave much of a mark on their way in…BUT the way out is a totally different story. I have no idea how many times these men were shot but they’re covered and destroyed by bullet holes. Chin, hands, thighs under the eyeballs and everywhere else. There wasn’t a part of either of these men’s bodies that didn’t have at least one bullet hole… I didn't see their feet though…if I’m being completely transparent.
This is gore. This is a complete horror show. Someone wanted these men dead… like seriously dead. Was it the driver or could it have been the front seat passenger? There must have been someone sitting in the front seat, right? Why else would two grown men sit in the backseat together if there was an open front seat? By the number of holes, I come to the conclusion that at least two people had to have shot up this car….Far too many holes for one shooter and it was definitely people they thought they were close to…
With half my body in the car, the smell of ammonia is blending with the smell of shit…which is undoubtedly oozing from one or all of the many holes in these men's stomachs. Thankfully, the taste of the garlic chips and whiskey I had earlier keeping me from gagging. Both men looked like they were sleeping like someone's dad or brother in the backseat on a road trip but riddled with holes and covered and smelly blood and falling human chunks.
There's only enough room for one of us in the car’s backseat door opening so Andy gets in the driver's seat backwards and reaches back around the front seat to help shimmy the body out. I press the button and unbuckle the seatbelt, it whips back into its home position startling Andy and I. Everything in this car is covered with blood or some sort of human matter. My gloves are literally covered in blood from just unbuckling the seatbelt and now the taste of the ammonia smell is dripping its way into my mouth through my throat. The officers are having some sort of quiet discussion standing by the door we came in earlier. It's not uncommon for police officers to be completely apathetic about crime scenes when the funeral home arrives. The investigation is basically over tonight these officers couldn't care less about their scene. They just wanted to get these bodies moved out of the garage so they could get home to their families. I get that… but their lack of supervision is troubling, especially with what happens next.
I am now completely hunched over the body in the back passenger seat while Andy is supervising from the front turned around in the driver's seat with his gloved hands on the headrest. I tell Andy that I think I'm strong enough to grab this man’s right forearm and slide his body out on my own. When I grabbed the man's forearm, I immediately feel something isn't right. I've grabbed lots of dead people's forearms before. None felt like this though. It was so hard and rigid….don’t get me wrong I understand this man is frozen BUT whatever I'm grabbing on to isn't human. It's something else. It's hard and feels like metal one of those cheap metal canes you'd buy at a drugstore. The three drinks circulating through my bloodstream make me curious but pensive. I tell Andy that I'm not touching a man's arm and that there's something else in this man’s jacket.
I interrupted the police officers conversation. “Hey, something isn't right here.” An officer and I switch places as he pulls out a tactical knife and starts cutting away the sleeve to the blood soaked down jacket. “It’s a FUCKING GUN.” I look over his shoulder and see the open sleeve of a jacket revealing a sawed off shotgun. The inside of the coat was some sort of bright orange material so the short barrel of the shotgun stand out…and so did the trigger but not because of its color. It stood out because of frozen dead man’s finger hooked over and frozen around it. Did I mention the gun was cocked. This means that the slightest movement would have caused a sudden discharge… The gun would have fired directly into the driver's seat, the seat where Andy was supervising from AND apparently Andy and I noticed this at the same time.
The next sound we hear was an officer saying, “Gun! Loaded gun!”
Andy and I step back while the officers deal with the gun… he's freaked out…I can tell by the blotchy greenish yellow color he skin has turned in the last 30 seconds. Andy says, “I don't like guns. I don't like guns.”
“It's cool, man. Nobody got shot.” I say not being too sympathetic. I'm definitely drunk now and the idea of a frozen dead man shooting my partner in the chest is kind of hilarious, even if it would have been my fault. I giggle internally. Andy quickly moves towards the door and says, “I need to get some fresh air” and scurries out like an asshole letting the door slam behind him. Almost at the same moment the door closed. The three officers approached me from behind, “We got it out….It was loaded. Your buddy's lucky you didn’t shoot him in the chest.” I just snicker and tell the officers my partner needed some air and that I'll make the removals myself. How hard could it be? I'll just grab and pull.
Frozen bodies move in one piece while regular room temperature bodies are just floppy deadweight. These fellas are frozen solid…they felt like moving a heavy chair or peculiar shaped table out of your friend's car. Square peg in round holes, it was actually considerably easier than I anticipated.
The sound of the two bodies hitting a cold cement after pulling them out was very satisfying…a simple loud hollow frozen thud. I'm surrounded by awfulness and all I can think about is how proud I am that I just handled this crime scene on my own. I can't wait to eat that Butterfinger waiting for me in the car. It's a fitting reward but also something to get rid of this ammonia and garlic taste overpowering my senses at the moment.
Andy still hasn't come back and we're about to zip up the last body bag. An officer had put on a pair of gloves to help me maneuver the second man's rigid bent knees into the body bag. This man's body was like a complicated Tetris piece. Once in, we each grab a zipper on either side of the black vinyl bag and zip our respective ends until they meet in the middle. I nod my head at the officer and say, “That's how it's done!”
The officer looks at me sternly and says, “Did you just come from a party?” I look at him confused and respond, ”What?”
The officer tells me that he just got a waft of alcohol. “It reeks like booze over here.” I closed my mouth quickly and my heart begins to beat out of my chest. I must smell like a distillery… so much for those garlic chips. Laughing, I say, “On a Tuesday? Come on, man!” The officer stands up and says, “Let's run a tox screen on these guys to find out how fucked up they were before getting blasted.”
Looks like a dodged a bullet. How did he smell my whiskey breath over the ammonia smell? Does my breath just smell like straight rubbing alcohol? I feel bad that these dead guys got blamed for MY alcohol breath but, at least, I won't be walking out of here with an underage drinking ticket.
Calming down and feeling relieved. I looked down on my shirt and see that my necktie, my very favorite Ralph Lauren necktie, had fallen out of my shirt at some point and had been dipped into some smelly smelly blood. Fuck! Of course I ruined my favorite necktie on a night I'm not even supposed to be working. I undo the knot and throw the tie into a biohazard bag. The rest of the removal was kind of a blur because I was laser focused thinking about that Butterfinger I left in the car. The alcohol plus all the blood smell I kind of made my stomach sour. My mouth starts to water thinking about that candy bar.
One of the officers helps me wheel the stretchers out to the van in the main area of the police station parking garage. I can see exhaust coming out of our van. It's on? Did we leave the van running? I open the back of the van to find Andy laying down in the center of the wooden roller board taking up the entire back of the van. The sound startles him and he quickly jumps up to a seated position and says, “I'm sorry man, guns really freak me out. I almost got shot…. I thought I was gonna pass out.”
I notice a yellow rapper sitting next to his right leg. He noticed that I noticed. “Oh yeah, I owe you a candy bar.” He says in a nonchalant manner.
All at once, my dislike for Andy hit me like a tidal wave. I ruined my favorite tie and this asshole ate my candy bar? Andy, sensing my disappointment and anger, didn't say another word and I imagine what it would have been like if that shot gun would have gone off.
My name is Grant and these are My Funeral Home Stories.
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2023.05.29 01:07 BIGBOOSTING Sandals Royal Curacao Review

Just got back from Sandals Royal Curacao! This is a long review. I took over this subreddit to make it as informational as possible about the resorts, so here we go! Please feel free to ask any questions if I missed something.
 
Room:
We stayed May 22-27 in a Sunchi Swim-up Club Level room (HSUP). We were in Sunchi Building 8, which is the last building on one side of the resort. We stayed in 1253, which is the second-to-last room on the first floor. All that to say, Curacao is a long resort and you'll definitely get your steps in! But we were also right next to the dive shop, which was fantastic for us.
 
The swim-up room was amazing and highly recommended! We ended up using it more than the double infinity pool. They did a perfect job at keeping the in-room bar stocked with alcohol and juices/water (around 10am). We didn't have to call for anything once. So we would hang out in the pool (which connects across buildings 7 & 8, and there is a common area) and make our own drinks. Many times we were the only ones in the pool out of all the rooms. The swim-up pool is completely private, there is no entry except through a room, and there are a lot of gorgeous plants and flowers blocking it from the other side. Hummingbirds would be 1 foot away and were fun to watch. Floats are provided for each room. Use the ice bucket to keep bottles cool outside.
 
Ordering food from Room Service was consistently 40-45 minutes. At night it was quiet, as the music from the main area doesn't really reach building 8. No one would be in the swim-up pool after 10, it would start to get a little chilly with the wind. It gets very, very dark towards the Sunchi end of the resort. I recommend using the building side to reach your room, not the garden path.
 
Two subjective complaints:
(1) Housekeeping was very late. Some days they didn't come until 4-5pm, and the evening turn-down and towel replenishment didn't happen until 10pm. Between the swim-up and shower and wet floors, you NEED towels. We supplemented with the brown pool towels, grabbing them any time we went by the other pools. The late service could be because we were in the last building, but I'm not sure. The housekeepers did do a very thorough job and the rooms were clean and new.
(2) When we first checked-in, the back door's lock looked like it was forcibly broken and mangled. We had them replace it, but it still didn't lock. There is a second set of heavy wooden doors (blinds really) that do close and lock, so we weren't overly concerned. I don't think someone tried to break in, based on how the pool would make it hard to get to. But I can see someone getting locked out accidentally and having no other option but to break the door, since you can't get out of the pool area otherwise.
 
Restaurants/Service
The service across all restaurants and bars was outstanding. We never experienced a wait or long times to get our ordedrinks. The waitstaff were happy to talk to you and literally everyone says hello as you pass by. Concierge was perfect and accommodating as well. Restaurants had most of everything, and they would tell you what they're out of as you sat down.
 
Pietra - Our go-to breakfast buffet. At lunch they change the buffet to different food by country (Asian, Mexican, American, etc.). The food was all great at lunch. I ate too many fajitas.
 
Vincent - Reservation required. I recommend the Escargots and Foie Gras. They were out of the Cured Beef Bresaola.
 
Toteki, La Palma, Kishi - Food trucks. These were great for a snack. Get the cuttlefish and shrimp from La Palma, and the General Tso's Steak Bao Buns from Kishi.
 
Strand - For dinner, absolutely get the Snapper. It was my favorite meal of the trip. My husband liked the Surf & Turf at Strand better than Butch's. Strand also has a lunch menu with American-type items on it. The shrimp Caesar wrap was a nice light lunch.
 
Butch's - Reservation required. We went twice for dinner, once for breakfast. For dinner appetizers, try the Waldorf Caesar, Crispy Goat Cheese Salad, and Grilled Black Pepper Bacon (definitely that one). The Aged Prime Rib and Chargrilled Lamb Chops were great. We also had the Surf & Turf and Steak Diane which were very good too. Absolutely get the Willy Wonka Brulee - it was my favorite dessert on the resort.
 
Gatsu Gatsu - We went twice. The sushi here is so good. It's 4 pieces per roll. I recommend the Champagne Lobster and Caribbean Dynamite rolls. Shrimp tempura and crispy chicken karaage were our favorite appetizers. They were out of edamame and tonkotsu ramen.
 
Kanaal - Nice to pop into for a cappuccino or sweets.
 
Zuka and Aolo's - did not try.
 
Note: We wanted to order champagne (Veuve Clicquot) but the resort (or at least Butch's, Kanaal, and Pietra) was out of that and several of their Proseccos. We did end up getting 2 bottles of Prosecco though.
 
Scuba Diving
Scuba was great and the team was a lot of fun. You have to do a check-out dive if you haven't logged a dive recently (they do check your log book). We did ours around 11am and were able to go on an afternoon dive the same day (we were waitlisted, but some didn't show up). You sign up for dives starting at 8am 2 days out, so if you want to dive Friday, show up on Wednesday morning at 8am to sign up. They do keep waitlists for each dive. The dive shop has lockers! Great for if your room is at the other end of the resort and you don't want to walk with your stuff every morning.
 
The dive schedule seems highly variable - while we were there, they did 2-tank morning dives Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and a 1-tank afternoon dive those days. Tuesday and Thursday they do a 1-tank morning dive, and 1-tank afternoon dive. I'm not sure about Saturday-Sunday since we weren't there. But, they said just a month ago they were only able to do 1-tank morning dives each day and no afternoon dives, as the water would get too choppy. And yes, the water was very choppy and it was windy all day. I saw a red flag or two at the resort while we were there. So you may want to check out the weather in Curacao the month you want to book.
 
They mentioned all the dive sites were 5-10 minutes away, but we were able to go Double Reef Thursday, the farthest site at 30 minutes. There were several turtles, a reef shark, squid, and a great variety of fish and coral. It was the best dive I've been in on years. However, they said it had been a month and a half since they'd been able to reach the site because of the choppiness. A couple on the boat had been able to go with an offsite-company and enter via shore, so that's an option as well.
 
City
You can take a cab from the resort to Willemstad for $49 each way. Our cab was private and air conditioned. The drivers were very nice. They dropped us off next to the CURACAO sign, and pickup was there too (they gave you a card and you call them 30 minutes before you're ready to leave). Right by the Curacao sign, there's a tiny alley with a white and blue cow - go down that alley for some great gelato. There's also an ice cream place near the sign that claims to give you an orgasm in less than a minute, but I didn't partake. There are lots of cafes and souvenir shops around Willemstad. There's a fresh fish and fruit market. You'll be near where the cruise ships dock. Check out the bridge and forts. Pop into a casino for some much-needed A/C. As an aside, a local man very persistently forced his help on us (where are you going, follow me down this alley, etc...) and wouldn't leave us alone and stop following us even after we said we knew where we were going, and ultimately asked for beer money, but the city seemed safe. There were several police officers around the streets we passed. Just be aware of your surroundings (as in any city).
 
Miscellaneous
The bus ride from/to the airport took us 40-45 minutes. It's a very nice and comfortable bus. You'll see a Sandals area at the end after you pick up your luggage. The airport was very nice and modern and quick to get through (we were first off the plane though). On departure, there seemed to be only one main hot food place after security, but they have a VIP/Priority Pass lounge that had some good light food on the buffet and a hot menu to order from as well. Check if your credit card has that as a perk to avoid the long line at the other restaurant. It opens at 1pm.
 
Spa/Gym - The spa was nice and clean. You have your own private bathroom/changing area in the table room versus a general locker room. The gym had a steady flow of people, but wasn't ever too crowded.
 
Curacao is HOT in May. Seriously. It was 86 every day, with a heat index around 96-97. Now, I was born and raised in South Georgia where it gets 95 with a 110 index in the summer, but this heat hit different. The UV index on my weather app said 11. Wear sunscreen and stay in the water. And get used to being wet - it'll either be pool water, ocean, or sweat depending on your location at the resort. It was mostly sunny every day, with a few clouds in the afternoon. No rain. At night it cools off well enough. Thankfully there's always a nice breeze going on. But stay hydrated and pay attention to your skin. Walking around the city with the heat was a bit much, we started at 9 and made it to 12 before calling it quits.
 
Tl;dr
I loved it! I highly recommend a Swim-up room, but maybe ask for a central building instead of on the edge of the resort (walking that far in the extreme heat with no shade gets old fast). Great service, wonderful staff. I would pick another month to go back though. May was just too hot for me!
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2023.05.29 01:04 MyFuneralHomeStories Chapter Two: 3 drinks, 2 dead & 1 Candy Bar

I was pouring drink number three when my phone rang… I'm 20 years old, a little drunk and in about an hour, I will have almost shot my colleague in the chest in front of three police officers and two frozen dead bodies. Weird. I can't say that I'm mentally ready for what I'm about to see this evening, who’s ever really ready to walk into a garage with a Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullets and two frozen gang bangers inside. My name is Grant and These are My Funeral Home Stories.
Chapter Two: three drinks, Two dead & One Candy Bar
It's about six o'clock on the 3rd Tuesday in February and factoring in the windchill, it's negative 14 degrees outside. I've been off of work for about an hour and I'm not on call tonight…So naturally, I'm just finishing up my second drink and considering whether to order pizza or Chinese tonight. I use my finger to stop by drink from bubbling over and the phone rings. It’s Andy, one of the directors from the funeral home that’s on call when Ned and I are off AND apparently the person he's on call with this evening is unreachable…If it's your job to be on call, you don't want this to happen. It's almost the equivalent of a no call no show at any other job. If you're on call, the only thing you have to do is wait for the phone to ring and when it does ring, you answer it. It’s really not that hard.
Andy is calling me to ask if I would fill in and go on a police call with him. There was a shooting and apparently there are two frozen dead bodies in a car… inside the police station. OK. Why are they at the police station? Great question. Apparently it was too cold outside to investigate and process the crime scene so they moved the crime scene into a heated garage inside a police station. This all sounds incredibly interesting to me but there's only one problem… I'm drunk. Well, on my way to drunk and I'm not old enough to drink. I'm not going anywhere near a police station. I explained to Andy that I'm in no condition to drive to the funeral home and he'd have to find someone else. He interrupted me and said, “ but you're not old enough to drink. Stay put. I'm picking you up. See you in 10.” He hung up the phone before I had time to argue.
Welp. Looks like I'm going to the police station against all better judgment. I finish my third drink as I put on my black 3 button double breasted black suit by Chaps that I picked up at Kohls. (Side note: all my other suits were at the dry cleaners. I hate this suit. It makes me look like a walking rectangle.) It's our funeral home’s policy that we dress cleanly and professionally while in public. This means you ruin a lot of good dress clothes but at least you look sharp… and you can write off your dry cleaning as a job related expense.
I run a razor over my face sans shaving cream because I’m in a hurry and our funeral home also has a strict no facial hair policy. No mustaches, no goatees and definitely no beards. I'm not sure why this is a rule, It just is. I take an extra long look at myself in the mirror to make sure I have myself in order. The last thing I want to do tonight is walk into a police station looking like a sloppy, drunk unshaven underage mess. Could I get fired for getting an underage drinking ticket while on a death call? I sure hope not. I hear a horn honking in the driveway. I peak out the front window, Andy’s out front in our 2004 black Pontiac minivan. It’s a pretty slick…Instead of back seats, our van has a polished oak floor with rollers spaced evenly down the length of the van. These rollers aid in sliding caskets in and out without scratching the van or caskets.
I’m almost ready. I decided to wear a heavy wool four button top coat, scarf and rubberized dress boots by Ecco, all black of course. (Side note: Always spend extra money on ‘nicer’ boots. You don't want your socks wet on death calls.) Although I hate the suit I have on, I am wearing my favorite necktie. It's white, black and navy blue diagonally striped made from handwoven silk by Ralph Lauren. Very sharp. Remember this tie… my favorite tie, it’ll come up again later. On my way out the door I stuffed a handful of garlic flavored chips in my mouth and pulled a Nestle Butterfinger candy bar out of the pantry. The garlic will help cover up the three Jack and Cokes I just had and put a little food in my stomach. The Butterfinger…well, that's my reward. I'll eat it on the way home. I fucking love Butterfingers and why not reward myself for what I'm about to do? I'm not even on call tonight. I deserve it.
From my house to the police station, it’s about 10 minutes… a straight shot with no traffic. Andy starts nervously giggling almost immediately when my door closes and buckle my seatbelt. Funeral Directors are generally interesting people but our pal, Andy, he's a real card. I'm going to tell you a few things about Andy and hopefully won't sound too judgmental in the process. Andy had a gastric bypass surgery three years ago and as has lost about 150 pounds andI don't think he's gone clothes shopping since his weight loss. All of his suits look like they're about five sizes too big. His skin is loose around his jawline giving him a permanent droopy dog expression. It's weird seeing someone whose clothes and skin don't fit their body. He's a nervous guy and he's always afraid of getting in trouble…but somehow he's blindly confident. That's it for the positives.
Andy talks the most deliberate and malicious shit about everyone in the office. It's pathological at this point, I'm not sure he's even aware of it. You really have to watch what you say around this guy… I mean, if you don't want it repeated or used against you, don't say it around Andy. Andy's jumped from funeral home to funeral home around the country settling in towns just long enough to fuck things up and make a quick exit. He’s was a total creep and we found out a few years later that he was stealing from one of our funeral homes. He had his moments but for the most part, I didn't want anything to do with this guy…Especially after drinking almost half of my $36 bottle of Gentleman Jack. Actually, I'm probably just drunk enough to enjoy his company.
We turn on to Roosevelt, the police station is on our right. Andy has managed to keep the van under control even with the several inches of black ice and snow covering the roads. Andy tells me that we're to call a number when we're outside the police station parking garage and an officer will open the giant chain gate to let us in. The car with the dead bodies is in a separate heated garage inside the building to thaw out for processing.
It just dawned on me, I'm kind of hammered and last time I checked I'm still not old enough to drink… I feel my anxiety levels rising…I’m not super eager to walk into a police station in my current condition. My plan is to keep my head down and stay as far out of the officers’ breath smelling distance as possible. I'm so happy I decided to eat those chips before I left. I can still taste the garlic. Garlic breath is better than booze breath. I'm fairly certain they won't lock me up for having bad breath.
Andy calls the number, the gate opens and we drive down a pretty drastic slope and enter the garage filled with a fleet of police cars. There must be 40 decked out Chevy Impalas polished up and ready for dispatch. We pull forward and an officer signals us to stop next to a plain gray door in the center of a the cinder block wall on our right. Andy loaded two stretchers in the van this evening. One standard, one oversized, we get out of the van and unload both without incident. The officer walks to the back of the van and tells us to follow him.
We walk through the gray door and quickly move through three different beige hallways, no windows, just ugly plain cinderblock. I realized that I've completely lost my bearings. When we come to the end of the hallway with another gray door. I feel a combination of claustrophobia and vertigo hit me all at once or maybe that was drink number three kickin’ in. The officer opens the door and Andy and I wheel our stretchers into a 20 by 20 garage lit by the brightest fluorescent lights I've ever experienced. The temperature of the light in this room is unnerving among other things.
'Welcome to the crime lab garage' I think to myself. Immediately upon entering the room, I'm almost knocked to the floor by a smell that burns my nasal cavities. It wasn't the smell of rotting flesh or piss and shit, I’ve smelled all those things before. This was new. It’s so unique but the more Im exposed to it the more I realize I’ve smelled this before at the funeral home but I can’t place it….Then it hits me almost as intensely as the smell itself. Ammonia, that's it! It smells like someone took two or three large bottles of ammonia and just poured them all over the room. I look at Andy as we park the stretchers. We make eye contact and I pointed my nose while simultaneously making a confused face. “What the fuck is that?” I whisper.
Andy pulls two pair of blue heavy duty surgical gloves out of the front pocket of his stretcher, hands me a pair and then proceeds to blow my mind. He quietly tells me that the strong ammonia odor is coming from the blood. Apparently when someone dies suddenly all the blood cells in the body make one last screaming effort to stay alive and dump a ton of waste into the bloodstream. The waste is what gives the blood a strong scent of ammonia. You know when someone says they can smell blood in a movie or TV show? I think If this is what they're talking about.
Now that I have my gloves on and have adjusted to the smell, I take off my overcoat and suit jacket and tuck my tie between two buttons on my white dress shirt. This is simply precautionary. There is nothing worse than dipping your tie into something gross. It's almost always UNcleanable.
In this moment, I'm able to take in my surroundings. Perhaps it's the alcohol but something feels off. Under rows and rows of fluorescent lights there’s a maroon Chevy Cavalier riddled with bullet holes with all four of its doors and trunk wide open. Upon initial inspection, my eyes are drawn to two dead men in the backseat and rusted hood with a smattering of bullet holes. It seems that most of the shots were through the windshield, windows and door panels.The windshield is barely able to hold itself up.
Andy and I walk around the car to figure out our plan of attack. He flips open a black vinyl body bag, unzips it and places it on the ground next to the car and he tells me his plan. “If they’re frozen in a seated position, we won't be able to move em that easily… So we'll wiggle them out, lay them on the body bags and zip up the disaster pouch around them.” This sounds good to me. We move in.
We decided to start with the body in the driver's side backseat. The door’s already open and the hinges appear to be hyper extended. The crime scene techs probably bent the hinges while they were scrubbing the scene. Now up close, I’m finally able to take in the two dead men sitting in the backseat in front of me. These guys must have been a couple years older than me, both wearing Timberlands, black jeans and black jackets… like big puffy down jackets. One man has a New Era baseball cap on backwards while the other has a black stocking cap atop his head. I didn't see any logos but the brain matter, bullet holes and blood may have made it hard to notice. The ammonia smell inside the car is completely overwhelming. Blood is literally covering everything in the backseat. Chunks of thawing brain and meat are all over the headrest. I pick up a piece near the seat belt and squeeze it with my middle finger and thumb. It's still a little frozen so it crunches a bit before turning into mush between my fingers. I wiped my hand on a clean part of the interior.
Bullet holes are weird…For something that can end your life so quickly, they don't leave much of a mark on their way in…BUT the way out is a totally different story. I have no idea how many times these men were shot but they’re covered and destroyed by bullet holes. Chin, hands, thighs under the eyeballs and everywhere else. There wasn’t a part of either of these men’s bodies that didn’t have at least one bullet hole… I didn't see their feet though…if I’m being completely transparent.
This is gore. This is a complete horror show. Someone wanted these men dead… like seriously dead. Was it the driver or could it have been the front seat passenger? There must have been someone sitting in the front seat, right? Why else would two grown men sit in the backseat together if there was an open front seat? By the number of holes, I come to the conclusion that at least two people had to have shot up this car….Far too many holes for one shooter and it was definitely people they thought they were close to…
With half my body in the car, the smell of ammonia is blending with the smell of shit…which is undoubtedly oozing from one or all of the many holes in these men's stomachs. Thankfully, the taste of the garlic chips and whiskey I had earlier keeping me from gagging. Both men looked like they were sleeping like someone's dad or brother in the backseat on a road trip but riddled with holes and covered and smelly blood and falling human chunks.
There's only enough room for one of us in the car’s backseat door opening so Andy gets in the driver's seat backwards and reaches back around the front seat to help shimmy the body out. I press the button and unbuckle the seatbelt, it whips back into its home position startling Andy and I. Everything in this car is covered with blood or some sort of human matter. My gloves are literally covered in blood from just unbuckling the seatbelt and now the taste of the ammonia smell is dripping its way into my mouth through my throat. The officers are having some sort of quiet discussion standing by the door we came in earlier. It's not uncommon for police officers to be completely apathetic about crime scenes when the funeral home arrives. The investigation is basically over tonight these officers couldn't care less about their scene. They just wanted to get these bodies moved out of the garage so they could get home to their families. I get that… but their lack of supervision is troubling, especially with what happens next.
I am now completely hunched over the body in the back passenger seat while Andy is supervising from the front turned around in the driver's seat with his gloved hands on the headrest. I tell Andy that I think I'm strong enough to grab this man’s right forearm and slide his body out on my own. When I grabbed the man's forearm, I immediately feel something isn't right. I've grabbed lots of dead people's forearms before. None felt like this though. It was so hard and rigid….don’t get me wrong I understand this man is frozen BUT whatever I'm grabbing on to isn't human. It's something else. It's hard and feels like metal one of those cheap metal canes you'd buy at a drugstore. The three drinks circulating through my bloodstream make me curious but pensive. I tell Andy that I'm not touching a man's arm and that there's something else in this man’s jacket.
I interrupted the police officers conversation. “Hey, something isn't right here.” An officer and I switch places as he pulls out a tactical knife and starts cutting away the sleeve to the blood soaked down jacket. “It’s a FUCKING GUN.” I look over his shoulder and see the open sleeve of a jacket revealing a sawed off shotgun. The inside of the coat was some sort of bright orange material so the short barrel of the shotgun stand out…and so did the trigger but not because of its color. It stood out because of frozen dead man’s finger hooked over and frozen around it. Did I mention the gun was cocked. This means that the slightest movement would have caused a sudden discharge… The gun would have fired directly into the driver's seat, the seat where Andy was supervising from AND apparently Andy and I noticed this at the same time.
The next sound we hear was an officer saying, “Gun! Loaded gun!”
Andy and I step back while the officers deal with the gun… he's freaked out…I can tell by the blotchy greenish yellow color he skin has turned in the last 30 seconds. Andy says, “I don't like guns. I don't like guns.”
“It's cool, man. Nobody got shot.” I say not being too sympathetic. I'm definitely drunk now and the idea of a frozen dead man shooting my partner in the chest is kind of hilarious, even if it would have been my fault. I giggle internally. Andy quickly moves towards the door and says, “I need to get some fresh air” and scurries out like an asshole letting the door slam behind him. Almost at the same moment the door closed. The three officers approached me from behind, “We got it out….It was loaded. Your buddy's lucky you didn’t shoot him in the chest.” I just snicker and tell the officers my partner needed some air and that I'll make the removals myself. How hard could it be? I'll just grab and pull.
Frozen bodies move in one piece while regular room temperature bodies are just floppy deadweight. These fellas are frozen solid…they felt like moving a heavy chair or peculiar shaped table out of your friend's car. Square peg in round holes, it was actually considerably easier than I anticipated.
The sound of the two bodies hitting a cold cement after pulling them out was very satisfying…a simple loud hollow frozen thud. I'm surrounded by awfulness and all I can think about is how proud I am that I just handled this crime scene on my own. I can't wait to eat that Butterfinger waiting for me in the car. It's a fitting reward but also something to get rid of this ammonia and garlic taste overpowering my senses at the moment.
Andy still hasn't come back and we're about to zip up the last body bag. An officer had put on a pair of gloves to help me maneuver the second man's rigid bent knees into the body bag. This man's body was like a complicated Tetris piece. Once in, we each grab a zipper on either side of the black vinyl bag and zip our respective ends until they meet in the middle. I nod my head at the officer and say, “That's how it's done!”
The officer looks at me sternly and says, “Did you just come from a party?” I look at him confused and respond, ”What?”
The officer tells me that he just got a waft of alcohol. “It reeks like booze over here.” I closed my mouth quickly and my heart begins to beat out of my chest. I must smell like a distillery… so much for those garlic chips. Laughing, I say, “On a Tuesday? Come on, man!” The officer stands up and says, “Let's run a tox screen on these guys to find out how fucked up they were before getting blasted.”
Looks like a dodged a bullet. How did he smell my whiskey breath over the ammonia smell? Does my breath just smell like straight rubbing alcohol? I feel bad that these dead guys got blamed for MY alcohol breath but, at least, I won't be walking out of here with an underage drinking ticket.
Calming down and feeling relieved. I looked down on my shirt and see that my necktie, my very favorite Ralph Lauren necktie, had fallen out of my shirt at some point and had been dipped into some smelly smelly blood. Fuck! Of course I ruined my favorite necktie on a night I'm not even supposed to be working. I undo the knot and throw the tie into a biohazard bag. The rest of the removal was kind of a blur because I was laser focused thinking about that Butterfinger I left in the car. The alcohol plus all the blood smell I kind of made my stomach sour. My mouth starts to water thinking about that candy bar.
One of the officers helps me wheel the stretchers out to the van in the main area of the police station parking garage. I can see exhaust coming out of our van. It's on? Did we leave the van running? I open the back of the van to find Andy laying down in the center of the wooden roller board taking up the entire back of the van. The sound startles him and he quickly jumps up to a seated position and says, “I'm sorry man, guns really freak me out. I almost got shot…. I thought I was gonna pass out.”
I notice a yellow rapper sitting next to his right leg. He noticed that I noticed. “Oh yeah, I owe you a candy bar.” He says in a nonchalant manner.
All at once, my dislike for Andy hit me like a tidal wave. I ruined my favorite tie and this asshole ate my candy bar? Andy, sensing my disappointment and anger, didn't say another word and I imagine what it would have been like if that shot gun would have gone off.
My name is Grant and these are My Funeral Home Stories.

Here this episode wherever you listen to podcasts:
Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/my-funeral-home-stories/id1462188362?i=1000437632125
Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5rzZhNGCCkIaHbhWQ1irjd?si=2e0eae46d64e4066
YouTube: https://youtu.be/UYVL66uyfAE
Download the 45 minute Epilogue & Commercial Free Episodes & Seasons: www.MyFuneralHomeStories.com
submitted by MyFuneralHomeStories to u/MyFuneralHomeStories [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:03 MelodyMysterious Hi I wented to an anime con and got precious scraps

Hi I wented to an anime con and got precious scraps
I love business card so much I don't have any rl friend to show them look how cute I am so proud of myself I went all alone!
submitted by MelodyMysterious to ageregression [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:01 PurpleSolitudes Best Internet Monitoring Software

Best Internet Monitoring Software
SentryPC is a powerful internet monitoring software that allows parents, employers and individuals to monitor and control computer and internet usage. With its advanced features and user-friendly interface, SentryPC has become the preferred choice for those who need to keep an eye on computer and internet activity.

In this review, we will take a closer look at what makes SentryPC the best internet monitoring software and why it has become so popular among users.


https://preview.redd.it/folhnlmz7i1b1.png?width=850&format=png&auto=webp&s=a9f49ebf3694e0477b120d7029c0393d5a9abb22

Features

The first thing that sets SentryPC apart from other internet monitoring software is its comprehensive set of features. Whether you are a parent looking to protect your children from online predators or an employer concerned about productivity, SentryPC has everything you need to monitor and control computer and internet usage.

Free Demo Account Available

Some of the key features of SentryPC include:

  • Keystroke Logging: SentryPC captures all keystrokes typed on the monitored computer, including passwords and chat conversations.
  • Website Monitoring: SentryPC tracks all websites visited by the user, allowing parents and employers to see which sites their children or employees are accessing.
  • Application Monitoring: SentryPC records all applications used on the computer, including the duration of use, providing insight into how time is being spent.
  • Social Media Monitoring: SentryPC monitors social media activity, such as Facebook posts and Twitter messages, giving parents and employers insight into online behavior.
  • Screenshots: SentryPC captures screenshots of the monitored computer, allowing parents and employers to see exactly what the user is doing.
  • Remote Control: SentryPC allows parents and employers to remotely shut down or restart the monitored computer, lock the keyboard and mouse, and even log the user out of their account.
  • Alerts: SentryPC sends real-time alerts when specific keywords are typed or certain actions are taken, such as attempting to access blocked websites.
  • Reports: SentryPC generates detailed reports on computer and internet activity, making it easy for parents and employers to identify trends and patterns over time.

Ease of Use


https://preview.redd.it/fmwjj2py7i1b1.png?width=850&format=png&auto=webp&s=d4b04ac11b376d94d7bcde87d976729ef36e8230
Another key factor that makes SentryPC the best internet monitoring software is its user-friendly interface. Even if you are not technically savvy, you can easily install and use SentryPC to monitor and control computer and internet usage.
The software is easy to download and install, and once installed, it runs quietly in the background, capturing data without interfering with computer performance. The dashboard is intuitive and easy to use, allowing users to quickly access reports, alerts and other monitoring tools.
SentryPC also offers a mobile app, which allows parents and employers to monitor computer and internet activity on the go. The app is available for both iOS and Android devices and provides real-time access to all monitoring features.

Free Demo Account Available

Customer Support

SentryPC is committed to providing excellent customer support. Their team of support technicians is available 24/7 to answer questions and provide assistance with installation and troubleshooting.
In addition to email and phone support, SentryPC also offers live chat support, allowing users to get answers to their questions in real-time. They also offer a comprehensive knowledge base, which includes articles, tutorials, and videos to help users get the most out of the software.

Pricing

SentryPC offers flexible pricing plans to meet the needs of different users. The plans range from $59.95 per year for a single license to $995 for 100 licenses.
The basic plan provides all the essential monitoring features, while the premium plan includes advanced features such as webcam capture and audio recording. Users can also customize their plans by adding additional licenses or upgrading to the premium plan at any time.

Conclusion

Overall, SentryPC is the best internet monitoring software on the market today. Its comprehensive set of features, user-friendly interface, and excellent customer support make it an ideal choice for parents, employers, and individuals who need to monitor and control computer and internet usage.
With SentryPC, users can rest assured that they have the tools they need to keep their children safe online, enhance productivity in the workplace, and protect sensitive information from cyber threats.

Free Demo Account Available

submitted by PurpleSolitudes to allinsolution [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 01:01 HaritiKhatri AITA for not inviting my parents to my wedding?

I (26f) and my then-fiancé (24f) got married last September. It was a civil service wedding, conducted at the local courthouse, and we didn't invite anyone from either side of the family. I informed my parents (58m & 47f) when we got engaged, and let them know the general time of year that the wedding would take place, but I kept them in the dark about the specifics.
There are a few reasons for this:
Firstly, because me and my wife are in a queer relationship, and while not unsupportive, my parents have shown ignorance toward how to handle things like pronouns and titles ('sir,' 'husband,' 'boyfriend,' etc.'). I didn't want our special day being soured by them accidentally saying something hurtful to me or my wife.
(If they had shown a genuine effort to learn the correct terms and titles, this wouldn't be an issue, but they've known I am queer since 2019, and have made no effort to acknowledge that fact.)
Secondly, because my wife and I are in a polyamorous relationship, and one of the two witnesses at our wedding was our mutual girlfriend (29f). My parents are not aware of this. They wouldn't understand, and I'd rather avoid the awkwardness of having them around our girlfriend.
Thirdly, because we couldn't afford to have a 'proper' wedding. There was no catering, no reservations, and we didn't have a cake. My wife was a new hire at her job and I'm disabled and can't work, and the cost of living here is sky high (we live in the Pacific Northwest).
If my parents had attended, they would've had to provide for their own food, lodgings, and travel expenses—and frankly, my parents can't really afford to travel all the way across the country. Dad had a heart attack in early 2021 is still working on repaying medical expenses. Mom barely makes enough to support the two of them. They have no savings and are living paycheck-to-paycheck.
Despite this, they have a strong sense of familial obligation, and would likely have withdrawn from my dad's retirement funds to pay for plane tickets and a hotel. I didn't want my wedding to be a source of long-term hardship for them.
Bearing this all in mind, I feel pretty justified in having a small wedding and not inviting my relatives.

However.
I talk to my mother on the phone at least two times each week. I have done so religiously since I left home. These conversations are normally friendly and revolve around sharing moments from our weeks (we're both shutterbugs and often exchange pictures over social media) or venting about finances, health, and so forth. It's a way for us to remain close without crossing the country.
Lately, though, she's been a lot more sour, complaining about how much she misses me, and how she wishes she'd been there for important moments in my life that she missed—especially the wedding.

I realize that she's probably just a homesick mom dealing with empty cradle blues—but her complaints HAVE gotten me wondering if maybe I made the wrong call by excluding her and keeping things small.
Am I the asshole?
submitted by HaritiKhatri to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 00:59 i-bystander [USA-IL] [H] Switch, GameCube, Wii U, DS Games; DS Lites, XBox HD A/V Pack & Component Cable [W] Switch/XBox games, Lists

Switch, GameCube, Wii U, and DS games listed below. DS Lites would be the perfect project for a Gameboy Macro, or put them together to get one nice looking device - just don't have the time to tinker with them right now. Let me know if you have any questions, or would like additional pictures.
*****
Switch
GameCube
Wii U
Nintendo DS
DS Lites
XBox HD A/V Pack & Component Cable

*****
Wants:
Switch Games
submitted by i-bystander to gameswap [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 00:58 TSMaynard1 [RF] ABP "Always Be Preparing"

Pine needles brushed across Paul's arms as he charged through the trees with his bugout bag slung over his shoulders. Weighing in at forty pounds, it hardly slowed him down as he’d practiced this hike many times. He flicked his wrist and checked his Garmin Solar 2 Tactical Watch. The timer read: 2:23.
“You can do this, Paul.” He increased the pace and gritted his teeth, the weight finally having an effect. Paul bounded over a small creek, up a rolling hill, and pushed through a row of baby birches into a clearing. He doubled over to catch his breath and looked at his watch one more time. Two hours and twenty-eight minutes. Paul pumped his fist in victory.
After a short break, he approached a thorny bush in the center of the clearing. Paul brushed aside sand at the bush’s trunk, revealing a yellow rope. He pulled it, which lifted a hidden door in the ground covered with dirt, shrubbery, and other camouflage on the top side, and drab gray iron on the other. Underneath, wooden stairs descended into darkness. Paul retrieved a flashlight from his pack, clicked on the beam, and disappeared into the earth.
At the bottom of the steps, Paul faced a steel door and a combination lock. With several quick swipes of the dial, he opened the lock and tugged the metal door, which creaked as it cracked open. Paul flashed the beam on the offending hinges and shook his head. Something to fix later. He stepped into the secret chamber and pulled a hanging aluminum chain that turned on a large halogen light, illuminating a twenty-foot by eight-foot metal rectangle. The exposed corrugated walls revealed the bunker was nothing more than a shipping container. Paul buried it two years ago and had divided the interior into three spaces. The entry had a shelf with four dozen gallon jugs of sealed water along with a portable toilet, stacks of toilet paper, and a wastebasket. The middle section was the main living area and contained a futon, a TV with a DVD player, and a neat collection of movies underneath. A nightstand housed a small library of books, including the Bible, The Art of Meditation, Buddhism for Dummies, and other spiritual tomes. The back area of the unit had two shelves filled with canned food—black beans, green beans, peaches, peas, carrots, beef, and chicken. There was also a stationary bike, which was Paul’s proudest accomplishment because he had rigged it to a giant battery that provided power to all the electronics.
Paul was a prepper, and this would be his home when the end of the world came, an event he believed was imminent. The global economy was a house of cards built on greed, corruption, and inflated asset prices, but worst of all, it was based on a faith in paper and digital money.
His fear was triggered four years ago when he attended a lecture by a professor who explained the fragility of the world’s financial system. If a few banks failed, it would rattle people’s confidence, causing a herd-like response. Thousands of people would rush to withdraw their cash, which the banks no longer had because they’d invested it. The banks would either fail, and everyday folks would lose their life savings, or the government would print new money to replace the missing money, making all money worth a lot less. Anyone holding dollars would attempt to convert them to other assets.
Just like dominoes, the banks would topple over one by one, and as they crashed, people’s faith in money would crater. After all, what was money? It was just paper with printed images and numbers that we’d all accepted as having value. More recently, money had become numbers displayed on a computer screen, something Paul knew firsthand as he spent the first seven years of his career working at a regional bank in Asheville, North Carolina. Paul could literally change someone’s net worth with a few keystrokes. He could turn a pauper into a millionaire, or he could bankrupt the richest account holder. Sure, there were safeguards, but all were built on faith, which Paul believed was misplaced. Most people didn’t realize that the Federal Reserve only required each bank to hold at least ten percent of its deposits as a reserve. Ten percent. That’s it. The rest of the money was invested in loans or other financial instruments. As the rich bank owners and executives pushed for bigger and bigger returns, they invested in riskier and riskier assets. The lessons from the financial crisis of 2008 had been forgotten.
Once the monetary system collapsed, the entire economy would become paralyzed. Without a means of exchange, transactions would halt. Think about it. If someone tried to give you a slip of paper that you thought was worthless, would you give them anything of value in return?
The doomsday scenario would escalate. Food and water prices would skyrocket, but with no way to purchase them, many would starve. But people don’t just roll over and die, they would riot and take what they need to survive. Marshall Law would be implemented, but citizens would revolt against the government they felt had cheated them.
As Paul listened to the lecturer that fateful day, a depressing epiphany struck. Everything he’d learned and everything he’d spent his life acquiring was worthless.
Growing up, Paul had been taught the value of money, saving, and planning for retirement. He internalized these lessons as a teen after his father got sick and lost his job. His mother had died when he was very young, but his father still managed to provide him with a stable childhood, even though they were barely middle class. When his father fell ill, Paul witnessed firsthand how fast a family could sink into financial trouble, which couldn’t have come at a worse time. He was applying to colleges, and instead of choosing the one he liked best, he chose the one that gave him the most financial aid, which turned out to be a small school half-way across the country. He also didn’t choose a major he was excited about; he chose the one that would offer the safest financial prospects—economics with an emphasis on banking.
The distance from home meant that Paul didn’t see the rapid deterioration of his father. It wasn’t until he returned for the funeral that family friends told him how the disease had spread. His father had refused to let anyone tell Paul because he didn’t want that to distract Paul from his studies.
After graduating, Paul accepted a job at a bank, and immediately signed up for the company’s 401K match. Most college graduates can't grasp retirement when they enter the workforce, but a 401K match was free money. Over the next several years, Paul worked diligently to advance his career while saving most of his salary. He’d mapped out his life on an excel spreadsheet and calculated that he’d be financially secure at 53.
Everything went according to plan until that damn lecturer came along and blew it up. Sifting through the rubble of his grand scheme, Paul realized that in the new world order, he possessed no skills to survive. The savings he’d so meticulously built up would have little to no value. When the economy collapsed, he'd be like a baby, unable to do anything for himself.
After a week of wallowing in despair, Paul rallied himself. “I can still fix this” became a daily mantra. To start, he threw himself into survival classes. The first was a basic camping course where he learned how to create shelters and start a fire. The next class was more advanced and focused on water purification and building snares for small game.
Paul continued working at the bank, because he needed to pay for the classes and survival equipment he began hoarding, but on his next vacation, he put his training to the test. He planned to camp for a week in the Appalachian Mountains, but the temperature swings, especially at night, were too much. Paul lasted three nights in the wild. The humbling experience forced him to admit that he wasn’t a bushman. His depression returned until he stumbled upon an article about “preppers”—individuals who prepare for end of world disasters. Suddenly, things made sense. He didn’t need to abandon all the comforts of modern society. He needed to prepare for the end of the world the way he had planned for retirement.
As Paul traveled down the rabbit hole of prepping, he uncovered an underground society of people like him who knew the truth about the world’s demise. Of course, not everyone believed it would end because of an economic collapse. Some thought a nuclear war would destroy civilization. Others feared electromagnetic pulses from the sun would wipe out all modern electricity. And still others worried a massive volcanic eruption would spew enough ash and soot into the air to blot out the sun. There was no shortage of theories about the world ending, but one thing was clear. The world would end. Did it matter how it happened?
Paul began his prepping quest by purchasing ten acres an hour and a half outside of Asheville. It had plenty of small animals and a creek running through the middle. He then transported an unused cargo container to the land and buried it. This was the toughest part of the plan because it required heavy equipment. Next, he dug out a staircase and installed a steel door at the entrance. Finally, he furnished it with a mix of modern comforts and survival essentials.
Almost every weekend, Paul trekked to his underground sanctuary and made improvements. He also planned his bugout strategy. When the end of the world hit, he figured he needed to be safely hidden in his home within two and a half hours, a time he had achieved with this latest trip. Everything was set, and Paul could finally relax. He was prepared.
Paul slumped down on his futon and considered playing a movie or cracking the bottle of Jim Beam whiskey he stored in a special cabinet, but he shook off the urge. Those things were the rewards and comforts he’d enjoy after the world ended. His fingers rubbed the top of the Bible, something he planned to read cover to cover once the global economy cratered. He’d have plenty of time then to discover his spiritual side, but not now. Something else needed to be done. Something he’d missed.
The biggest mistake a prepper can make is assuming he had everything covered. This was the lesson taught by Yannis, the guru of the prepping world. He was so well-known within the doomsday community; he only went by one name. The guy was sharp as a whip and could live off the land, if necessary, but he preferred a more sophisticated lifestyle, so he created a luxurious cave that contained backup systems for all his backups. Food, water, shelter, and electricity were all taken care of, and it was projected that Yannis could survive ten years comfortably after the apocalypse. His famous blog titled “ABP” stood for Always Be Preparing. It was a motto Yannis lived by and something Paul aspired to, but as he sat in his bunker after the relentless hike, fatigue set in. He didn’t want to think about prepping or his bugout strategy. He wanted to just be.
Paul tilted his head back onto the futon’s cushion, and a loneliness crept into his mind. All his prepping left little time for relationships. He dated off and on in college, but it was never anything serious. It wasn’t like his high school sweetheart, Kristin Summer. They dated junior and senior year, but then Paul broke it off when his father got sick. Paul couldn’t focus on romance, and he knew the relationship wouldn’t have worked when he left for school 1,500 miles away. It still hurt when he learned from a friend that Kristin started dating Derek Gorman, an old classmate Paul hated. It hurt even more when he found out they had gotten married.
After college, Paul joined a couple of dating sites, but he hadn’t used them in over two years. Most women wouldn’t understand his prepping lifestyle, at least that’s what he feared, so he rejected dating before anyone could reject him. But most wasn't all, and with eight billion people on the planet, there had to be someone for him. Almost without thinking, Paul pulled out his phone and opened “My Match,” the site where he’d had the most luck. His profile still had a photo from his early banking days. He was clean shaven with a naïve smile. The face staring back in the picture differed greatly from the bearded survivalist he’d become. Would anyone consider a relationship with the new Paul? Only one way to find out. He snapped a selfie, uploaded it, and then updated his hobbies with the first being “prepping” followed by “survival skills training.” He finished by pressing the button that showed he was actively looking for someone. All he had to do now was wait.
After spending the night in his bunker, Paul checked the dating site in the morning. No response. “It was a stupid idea,” he told himself, and stuffed his phone back into his pocket. He locked his container and returned home.
Over the next two weeks, Paul received zero requests for a date. He didn’t even receive a message from anyone to start a conversation and test the waters. “Shake it off, dumbass,” he said alone in the confines of his cottage-style home. “The world is going to end, anyway.” He clenched his jaw and did what he always did. He researched more ways to survive. Paul poured over blog posts and imagined worst-case scenarios. How could his water be contaminated? Maybe he should bury some caches of water. What if someone finds his shelter? Maybe security cameras were needed. What if he gets lonely in his shelter? No ideas came to mind.
After his eyes got tired from reading, Paul clicked out of his browser, and the list of all his apps stared at him. For reasons unknown to him, he opened Facebook, something he hadn’t done for months. There were a handful of notifications and a couple of friend requests sent weeks ago. His heart raced when he saw the name of one—Kristin Summer. When he accepted, he saw she was on-line right then.
Should he message her? Would that be weird right after accepting her request? But wasn’t it weird that he hadn’t responded for several weeks? He pulled up the messenger and typed. “Hey. Sorry for the delay in accepting your request. Hadn’t been on Facebook in a while. Been busy. Hope you and Derek are well.”
He curled his lip in disgust as he typed Derek’s name and considered deleting it, but he took the moral high ground and hit “send” with his message unaltered.
Kristin Summer. Just the thought of her name brought a smile to Paul’s face.
Bing.
The sound alerted Paul to a response, which he read out loud. “Hey Paul. Good to hear from you. Derek and I divorced a little over a year ago. It was rough at first, but it was for the best. How are you?”
Paul’s eyes widened with shock and excitement. He couldn’t believe Derek was so stupid to let Kristin go. Paul could at least blame their breakup on his father’s illness. His fingers prattled away on the keyboard. “Things are amazing.” He stopped typing. That was a lie. Should he pretend like things were great or should he be honest and tell her about his prepping and the end of the world? Neither option sounded appealing. He tapped the keys without writing until he settled on something uncontroversial.
“Working at Trinity Bank in Asheville. It pays the bills. Where are you?”
Within a minute, the sweet sound of the notification binged. “I’m not too far away in Durham. If you’re ever in town, let me know.”
If you’re ever in town, let me know.
Paul couldn’t believe his eyes. Was Kristin asking him out? He shook his head. Nah, she’s probably just being polite. But maybe. If there was any chance, he had to find out. He chewed his lip and deliberated his next response. Fortune favors the bold, he told himself. Then he remembered Matt Damon telling people that in the now infamous commercial for FTX months before its collapse. When that occurred, Paul thought it was the beginning of the end, and he lived in his bunker for two days before emerging and finding the world still intact.
Paul clenched his fist. It was still good advice, and he had to try. Almost involuntarily, he typed, “I’ll be there tomorrow afternoon. If you want to get together, let me know.” His finger hit send before he could talk himself out of it. There was no qualification in the message. No waffling or hedging. It was clear Paul wanted to see Kristin. The only question now was whether she wanted to see him.
The next ten minutes felt like ten days. Paul paced back and forth with his hands over his head, and he glanced at the monitor every few seconds, just in case his ears had missed the notification alert.
There was nothing.
A dark depression filled the room. Why had he gotten his hopes up? What was the point, anyway? The world was going to end.
Bing.
Paul leapt to the computer and his eyes widened with each word he read. “How about a lunch at The Fig Tree Restaurant on 7th?”
People overuse the word literally, but Paul at least felt like his jaw was literally on the floor. He had a date with Kristin Summer, the one woman he had loved. His hands rattled away at the keyboard. “See you at 1 tomorrow.”
“Holy crap,” he muttered to himself.
Panic replaced his excitement when he imagined sitting down and talking to Kristin. What would he say? “Hey Kristin, what have you been up to? Oh me? I’ve been working at a job I hate and planning for the end of the world.”
He drifted into the bathroom and stared at the scruffy character in the mirror. Paul could only cringe at the thought of Kristin’s reaction upon seeing him. She might not recognize the bearded loner who resembled Ted Kaczynski more than the short-haired, clean-shaven teen she last saw.
Only one thing to do.
Paul had to prepare. He opened a drawer and pulled out a pair of clippers. He began trimming his beard and mustache as short as the clippers would allow. Next, he applied a generous amount of cream and shaved all of it off. Paul smirked at the young man hiding under the shabby beard, but it still wasn’t enough. He set the guard on the clippers to a four and began shaving his head. In college, Paul cut his own hair to save money, and the skill came back to him quickly. He dropped to a three and worked in a fade on the sides and then finished with a two. Paul turned to the left, then to the right, and assessed his work. Not bad.
Next thing to prepare was his outfit. Paul slid the door of his closet open and evaluated his choices. A banker’s suit was too stuffy, and his mountain man denim was too hermit inspired. He yanked the clothes aside and climbed deeper into the recesses of his wardrobe until he found a nice buttoned-down shirt and a dark pair of slacks. It gave just the right vibe of successful and stable, while not trying too hard to impress, even though that was his precisely his goal. Paul laid the selection on the chair by his bed. Durham was a three-and-a-half-hour drive away, and he wanted to make sure he got there with time to find parking, and maybe use the restroom. He set the alarm on his iPhone for 6 a.m. That would give him plenty of time to take a shower, have breakfast, and get dressed.
There was no chance of falling asleep easily. His mind raced with thoughts, questions, and various scenarios about what the day would bring. To relax, he poured himself a double whiskey, which he downed with a single slurp. He poured another and sipped.
Kristin Summer. He shook his head, still in disbelief.
As the effect of alcohol set in, Paul laid down on his bed and shut his eyes. Tomorrow would be a good day.
Paul slipped into a deep, satisfying sleep until his mind jolted him awake. It was past 6 a.m. He didn’t know how he knew. He just knew. Paul had slept through his alarm. He snatched his phone off the nightstand, but it was out of battery. He checked his watch and saw it was 7 a.m. There was still time to get to Durham.
Paul jumped out of bed and into the bathroom. He flicked on the light switch, but nothing came on. Paul toggled it on and off, but the outlet was dead.
Police sirens wailed in the distance. Paul meandered out of his house and onto the front lawn. Aside from the sirens, there was an uneasy stillness. Paul’s neighbor Kurt ran out from his home with two suitcases that he flung into the trunk of his car.
“Kurt. What’s going on?” Paul asked.
“Fort Knox was bombed. All the gold was obliterated. And something happened to the electricity and the internet. They shut it down.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know, man, but it’s not good. No one has access to news, no money, nothing.”
“Where are you going?” Paul asked.
“I don’t know. Somewhere isolated. I’m just hoping there are no more bombings or other attacks.” Kurt jumped into his car and sped away.
This was it. The world was ending. All of his preps were about to pay off. But what about Kristin? Paul didn’t want the world to end. If he tried to get Kristin, there was no chance he could reach his shelter before things get hairy. Plus, there was no way he could find her. He didn’t have her address, and she might have already left Durham for somewhere safe.
Paul forced himself to focus on his plan. This was what he had prepared for. He dashed back inside and changed into his camouflage gear, grabbed his bugout bag, and then sprinted to his truck. He drove through his neighborhood and reached the main road. His shelter and plans were to the left. Kristin and the unknown were to the right. The whites of Paul’s knuckles flared as he gripped the steering wheel. Now was not the time to waffle. He turned left and hit the accelerator.
Paul gritted his teeth and raced down the street. Keep going. Keep going. He urged himself on. Almost involuntarily, his foot slammed on the brakes. Paul couldn’t do it. He’d planned for the worst all his life, and while he sat alone with the engine idling, he had to admit the truth. He’d lived all his life in fear.
Paul yanked the wheel and turned around toward Durham.
submitted by TSMaynard1 to shortstories [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 00:57 InfernoAA P.U.R.E I

P.U.R.E I
Perfectly Unadulterated Regal Excellency. P.U.R.E. Named in dedication to four of the greatest technical wrestlers of all-time – Mr. Perfect, Kurt Angle, William Regal, and Bret Hart – tonight is as big as it ever gets for the Blitz brand as we embark on our first-ever edition of BTE's Blitz equivalent PPV! Much like those men, if you wish to be successful in Pure Rules, you must embody intelligence, grit, and a goal-driven mindset to reach the top, so keep that in mind as you immortalise your names into history on this INSANE 14-match card! Emanating from the Twickenham Stadium in London, England, home to the English National Rugby Team, 82,000 strong will be here to witness history in one of the biggest crowds in FBE’s history, beating even BTE attendance numbers! A huge thank you to Petite Jupiter’s PJs ‘N PB&Js for sponsoring us tonight, commemorating the long-awaited return of a legend with comfort for the body and the soul! Now, get strapped in for the show of a lifetime as England’s own Royal Blood sets the tone for the night with a live performance of their latest single, “Mountains At Midnight”!

Perfect Quarter

Non-Title Champion vs Champion: FBE Television Champion Cactus Mike vs FBE Junior Heavyweight Champion Paddy Murphy
Opening in HUGE fashion is a first-time ever dream meeting between two of the most beloved members of the roster! On one side is the two-time Television Champion with SIX overall defences to his name, The Ark’s Cactus Mike! Recently having his own one-year anniversary celebration much like Blitz last week, he’s been an icon in every division he’s taken part in, from being a component of the thrilling 3-way rivalry with John and Jay Castle, to an intense Shining-esque blood feud with Happy, to being one of the most consistent Pure Rules competitors, taking the likes of Inferno and Apeirogone to their limits. Proving his mettle in the Shining Light League, tonight more than ever can put him in the conversation for being next in line!
On the other side is the current Junior Heavyweight Champion, the Sham-Rock ‘N Scot Connection’s Paddy Murphy! Following a career trajectory similar to the Cardiac Cactus himself in his first few months, he’s rapidly elevated himself from a youngblood to one of the most emotionally riveting performers in the company today, having taken the Junior Division by storm under the guidance of his Sensei and his Dojo. Further greatness surely ahead of the World’s Most Wanted, his 6-point tournament run more than proving his potential, this could be his moment of redemption that catapults him into the next stratosphere, another Ark member having been the only obstacle between him and the Semi Finals!
Prompt: Rebook The British Bulldog’s WWF Intercontinental Championship Reign (Max 1000 Words)

Petite Jupiter Invitational: Arslan Malik vs Ferdinand Maxim vs Guy Fawkes vs Mr. Calcote Miller vs Vix
It’s finally happening, laddies! Initially announced for the first-ever BTE, the Petite Jupiter Invitational was a Battle Royale scheduled to commemorate the legacy of the then recently retired Shining Light, with the winner earning an Intercontinental Championship shot. Though plans fell through, there’s no reason it shouldn’t take place on the first BTE-level show of the Pure Division! Whilst a secondary title doesn’t yet exist on Blitz, the winner of this match can definitely expect their name to be held in higher regards, leaving with a trophy they can cherish when looking back on the moment that elevated them to the next level, one competitor from this plucky spread of rising stars being immortalised.
Will it be the Ass-Kicker Arslan Malik punching a hole through the competition? Perhaps Le Prince de Paris Ferdinand Maxim can make his kingdom even more golden? Maybe former Junior Heavyweight Champion Guy Fawkes can break bank in another division? Could Big 4 Main Eventer Mr. Calcote Miller be in line for a return to glory? Or is the most synonymous with the original prize of this match, former FBC Intercontinental Champion Vix soaring into the stars?
Prompt: Book the next year of any championship of your choosing (Max 1000 Words)

Mark Steel vs Michael Menzies II
In recent weeks, something of a rivalry has begun to brew between Death to Juniors and their latest targets, the Sensei-led duo of the Sham-Rock ‘N Scot Connection. With Paddy Murphy taking DTJ’s Junior Title and Michael Menzies going to war with Joshua Epps and Mark Steel in back-to-back weeks, why stop there? When the Future-Proof last tested his skills against DTJ, he was lost, without direction, searching for a means of survival. But what difference a month makes, now a completely transformed star since replacing the Kalamity surname, finding himself in strong company, no longer to be soloed out by the vultures of the Heavyweight Division.
Still, he can’t solely rely on friends to make it big. A recent landslide victory in his favour on Blitz makes it appear as though he’s ready for Round Two against the Gatekeeper of New Talent, so exactly that will occur, Michael receiving a chance at redemption against the stable which has his number! In Peak Performance’s case, shutting down the Junior Revolution before it can fully take off its feet would be in his best interest, nothing sweeter than bragging about single-handedly being the cause of death of another competitor’s potential, Steel keeping his territory on lock from newcomers!
Prompt: Book Clash at the Castle II (Max 1000 Words)

Simon Brown vs Kentaro Sakamoto vs Travis Broski
Tournaments have oft been a means of elevating competitors closer to the brass ring, the gruelling schedules showing their true inner resilience and ability to maintain their skill even into the later rounds. For all three of these men, that statement couldn’t be truer.
Exhibit A: Simon Brown. Though his FBE tenure was brief, he smashed through the glass ceiling in a manner many are unable to, a run into the Semi Finals of the inaugural Gedo Classic being promptly followed up by him becoming the second-ever Junior Heavyweight Champion in just a month or so of joining FBE, putting himself on a list that’s spawned some of the biggest stars of the current era.
Exhibit B: Kentaro Sakamoto. Going from the third member of Semper Lucet to forever remembered for his performance in the inaugural Punish & Crush Tournament, his advancement to the Finals over championship competition made it clear as day what he could offer at his best, becoming a staple Heavyweight ever since, sharing iconic moments alongside PROSPECT.
Exhibit C: Travis Broski. Much like The Immortalizer, he too was launched into the next stratosphere with an inspiring Gedo Classic Semis campaign in its most recent edition, the Undercity Underdog going on to upset some of the most valued juggernauts in company history in its aftermath, now continuing to remain a threat to the top of the pecking order.
All three feasibly able to take on the entire world if they so please (and all Ape guys?), they’re going to have to confront their most unique challenge yet in shattering mirrors of themselves!
Prompt: Book GUNTHER until WrestleMania 40 (Max 1000 Words)

Unadulterated Quarter

James Scott vs Jason Beggs
When you look at the career James Scott has had, it’s hard not to envy the Purest Protagonist for his many accolades. Intercontinental Champion, the original Junior Champion Ace, inaugural Lifeline Classic Winner over Hall of Fame level competition, New Beginning III main eventer, he’s been around the block and then some. Inventing the model for what a newcomer to the company should resemble if they wish to be remembered, fearlessly running with the giants like he’s David, he’s surely inspired a generation, but what about those from his generation?
When one man dominates the rest, there’s to be casualties along the way, Jason Beggs being one of those who suffered from Scott’s meteoric rise, his name being forgotten in favour of the Aussie, despite Jason beating him in Scott’s multi-man debut. With three years passing since both first broke into the company, they find themselves in the same division again, making it only inevitable that their paths would cross again on the hunt for the Pure Title. So, why not now? Becoming Irresistible since his return, for Beggs this is the perfect opportunity at revenge by tossing James down the mountain this time in a Lion King moment, but as always, it’s Scott vs The World and he won’t be rolling over for anyone!
Prompt: Book the revival of Pete Dunne (Max 1000 Words)

Battle of the Best II: DTJ (Misery, Hunter Maguire, Joshua Epps) vs PROVINCE (Sebastian King, Erick Koeman, Karma) vs The RISE (Ripley, John LaGuardia, Victor Williams)
On 1000 days of FBE, three of the most iconic stables in the company’s history butted heads, British Ambition, Lifeline, and PRIDE Gang squaring off in the inaugural Battle of the Best, that match putting a bow to the end of those 9 men’s generation, a more modern school of FBE competition ensuing in its aftermath which blended two very different eras together. Of the new crop, three factions have been inseparable over the past year in every form they’ve come to pass, Death to Juniors, PROVINCE, and The RISE all being tied at the hip.
WarGames earlier this year seeing The RISE’s predecessor, J.E.M, defeat DTJ, and PROVINCE subsequently debuting at DTJ’s expense, the critically acclaimed group has taken enough from both squadrons, finally getting a chance to exact their revenge on both in one fell swoop! PROVINCE and The RISE aren’t without their own issues either, the Shining Light League sparking friction between them in block matches, all 3 factions trading victories over the course of the competition, DTJ and The RISE even putting representatives through to the Semi Finals whilst PROVINCE costed the remainder of their men from moving on. In a race to prove themselves the next big things of the company, one faction will walk out here with a trophy to their name and a score at last settled!
Prompt: Book Ilja Dragunov on the Main Roster (Max 1 Part Per Person; 1000 Words each)

EED vs JOHN
Whilst FBE’s been a breeding ground for a wide range of colourful personalities, there’s been few that’ve acted as ‘anti-personalities’, deviating from the supernatural world to crack down on those they’ve felt to be caricatures of what a true wrestler should be. The most shining example of all in the Wild West was EED, standing out against the variety pack roster with his scathing, no-nonsense attitude, drilling a hole in the skull of anyone, both on the mic and in the ring, who he deemed unbecoming to the sport which paid his bills and subsequently having his way with their tattered remains.
Though no one has since quite managed to capture the aura of the Notorious, few might’ve argued JOHN to be his successor. All caps, plain and simple, the Misfit’s been unlike his exotic peers, simply a freak of nature uprooting anything in his path. A career marked by gold much like the former Television and Commonwealth Champion, JOHN with his own record-breaking Junior Heavyweight Championship reign, tonight he gets a chance to step to an OG as one of these two prove themselves to be the undisputed real man’s man of FBE!
Prompt: Book Drew McIntyre’s Return (Max 1000 Words)

Nate Matthews vs T.M Imran
Before T.M Imran was an official member of the FBE roster, he was one of the guinea pigs of the Trials system, and though he managed to win over majority of his examiners, there was but one he simply couldn’t crack – Nate Matthews. A Living Legend by this company’s standards and understandably one of the toughest to impress given his unmatched laundry list of accomplishments, from his many firsts like walking in as World Champion into the first BTE’s main event or being the first Grand Slam Winner, 8 championship reigns to his name, to being the Ace at one point, it would take a hell of a lot more to catch his attention.
In the wrestling business they say ‘to be the man you have to beat the man’, so what better way to gain the respect of the OG than through wrestling him? Nate competing in the first-ever Pure Rules match in company history, defeating him in a category his name’s been forever tied to would certainly give the Fifth Asian Tiger’s career its defining moment after two Television Championship reigns that put him on the map, the two Heyman Classic entrants to get warmed up here ahead of a bid to make BTE’s main event this year!
Prompt: TBD

Regal Quarter

Bong vs Bengt Holm
The crossover appeal of FBE has brought in a myriad of names over the years from all walks of life, but above all perhaps the most influential is Bong. A staunch anti-racism campaigner from the world of LLR, he’s considered royalty in his home promotion, a G1 Climax Winner among other lauded accomplishments living the unemployed life of raising two families yet still sparing the time to whoop anyone who gives him grief. He’s Scottish, he’s unhinged, and he’ll rawdog you back to wherever you came from, no expenses paid.
If you hold a popularity contest, Bong would take the crown, but someone who’s rapidly been gaining recognition since joining in the last couple months is the one they call KillKill, Bengt Holm accruing quite the name on both Firestorm and Blitz, most recently putting up a valiant effort against the Junior Champion. With Kojot in his ear and a Bong-like affinity to deal with his problems using his fists, this Thai-tanic could be the one they warn the icebergs about, the unsinkable Bengt headed to the helm of his division if he can outshine the sheer star power of his adversary here!
Prompt: Book the push of Maximum Male Models (Max 1000 Words)

Code Blue vs Jay Castle III
Resistance III was supposed to be the greatest night of Code Blue’s life until it wasn’t. Mugged by The Aether Aces before the match could even begin and having his eye stabbed by their latest recruit, former PROSPECT member Jay Castle, he was taken out of commission that night, though it had him return even more driven, and this time with a vengeance. The issues between these two extend long before that night however, butting heads all the way back in the main event of Blitz III one year ago, where the Hometown Hero narrowly upset the now shared longest reigning champion in FBE history.
Proceeding to cross paths again as part of the famed Ark/PROSPECT rivalry, Blue getting his win back in an Intercontinental Championship Eliminator that kickstarted his recent meteoric rise, they’ve never been ones to see eye to eye, and especially after what Jay did to Blue, the chance of it ever happening is dead in the water. They say an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, but that’s the least of the Pasadena Paralyser’s concerns, not letting Castle slip by him this time as he hunts down his rival only days removed from his first-ever singles World Heavyweight Championship match, fatigued yet with the drive of an army of 1000 men to strike down with furious anger to settle their score once and for all!
Prompt: Book a Nigel McGuinness Return Run (Max 1000 Words)

Atlas Rogue vs Ethan Fadely VII
When it comes to utterly personal rivalries, Atlas Rogue and Ethan Fadely’s is very much up there. Stretching all the way back to 2020, when Sol Ace took the Son of the Roses’ World Heavyweight Championship, a mutual hatred was sparked between the polar opposites, Fadely eventually having his revenge in his unstoppable 2022 return, taking Rogue to mercy at New Beginning IV. After a bloody WarGames between Infinite POWER and REVOLT, the two met again late last year, trading victories, Atlas besting Fadely at his own game, and Ethan getting the Godfather of Pure Rules back under his district. Once Ethan formed The Aether Aces with Atlas’s former partner, the siren began to sing her song, luring the two to one more match, one year on from their previous NB encounter. And once again, it was Fadely callousing his foe, leaving him with horrific injuries to tie up their saga 3-3.
3 months have passed since and Rogue hasn’t been able to forget, the scars he sees in the mirror each morning reminding him of what must be done. Now, fully healed up, King Blitz is back for one final dance with his career rival to break the tie between them, adamant to round out his incredible Pure Rules run by beating the one that got away! In Ethan’s case however, it’s all about ending Atlas for good this time, the Portlander wanting to add to The Aether Aces stretch of top-billing stars they’ve buried in a ditch, a tiebreaking victory the most crucial one available! Will Atlas start the Summer with a dead rose, or can Ethan crush the King’s crown under his boot? Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s the Final Rodeo between Rogue and Fadely!
Prompt: Book Forbidden Door II (Max 1000 Words)

Excellence Quarter

British Rounds: Desmond Caid vs Capital STEEZ VIII
Unlike the consistent hatred brimming between the last two, the saga between Desmond Caid and Capital STEEZ has followed a rather different trajectory. Though seesawing between mutual loathing and respect, at the centre of it all has always lain a consistent power struggle between two of the elite in their quests to prove themselves the undisputed best. Starting with the opener of the first-ever Carnage Tour – which has gone on to become a tradition between the two – their story has served as a timeline of King Capital’s growing stardom against the first Ace of FBE. The first year resulting in constant failures for STEEZ, from Carnage to an Intercontinental Championship match to WarGames to the Heyman Classic to BTE II’s main event, the winds of change finally blew in his direction come 2021, Steelo scoring his first win over the Maestro in the Lifeline Classic.
Marking the start of STEEZ’s rise into the Ace spot once occupied by Caid, the narrative began to shift in his favour, coming back from a 4-0 deficit to best him each subsequent year at Carnage, with tag team victories in the Battle of the Best and Three Stages of Hell along the way, this year putting him up to 4-3. Now, they’re set to meet yet again as STEEZ receives his chance to tie up the saga, whilst Desmond looks to break his dry spell against his iconic foe. What makes this match so unique compared to the rest however is the stipulation in place. Always known for their lengthy classics against each other, for the very first time they’re going to meet under an entirely different ruleset, the British Rounds system testing their ability to work a much, much quicker pace! Caid on home turf much like he was back at Unbreakable II, if there’s anytime to cut STEEZ off, it’s here, whilst for the Bossman, writing over the crushing memories of London would be in his best interest in finally cementing himself as having Desmond’s number!
Prompt: Book Hideo Itami if he skipped NXT and went directly to the Main Roster (Max 3 Parts; 1000 Words each)

Non-Title: FBE World Heavyweight Champion Inferno vs Petite Jupiter III
After years of grinding yet being forced to settle for second best, 2023 has undisputedly been Inferno’s year, ruling the roost with an iron fist from the jump, a Booker in the Bank cash-in mere weeks in making him Double Champion alongside his X Division (Pure) Championship reign. Embarking on a murderous run with the support of The Aether Aces, he’s crushed old and new faces alike week after week in everything from a draining 90-Minute Iron Man match to a thrilling British Rounds showdown to an emotional Title vs Career classic, diving further and further past the point of no return with his bastardly streak. Sitting atop the Pure ruleset with the most matches and wins in history, using it as a means to stomp out fledgling talent and address unfinished business, it seems as though there’s no one who can stop Baba Blitz.
…That is, no one that’d been currently active. Making a bombshell return after over a year of being sidelined with injury, appearing on Blitz’s one-year anniversary to present the trophy to the Shining Light League Winner, a tournament named in his honour, Petite Jupiter whipped Buckingham Palace into a frenzy with his appearance, London giving him the perfect homecoming. One of only 2 people the Aether Ace has never beaten in his career, Inferno was quick to interrupt his British Ambition brother, though seeming more like strangers with how much has changed between them since their last meeting. Goading him into one more match by pushing his buttons like the master manipulator he’s proven to be, citing the Shining Light’s lack of victories over reigning World Champions despite his Hall of Fame career, the ever-valiant PJ accepted, setting the stage for a long-awaited blockbuster end to their trilogy!
No shortage of Pure Rules experience himself, PJ the Grandfather to Blitz if Inferno’s its Baba, he holds a win over the Brummie Bastard under the ruleset, having faced off under it at the first FBE Anniversary Show after a despaired Inferno had turned his back on his brothers, feeling abandoned by them in his time of need, PJ subsequently bringing him back to the light. Later also sullying Inferno’s first BITB cash-in, which he’s since perfected, keeping his prized Intercontinental Championship from him, he’s held his former World Tag Team Championship partner’s number for the past 3 years, but now, it remains to be seen if the story will be any different, the two Britons colliding one final time in their home country as all their experiences craft the perfect closing chapter to their tale!
Prompt: Book a main event push for PAC (Max 1000 Words)

FBE Pure Championship: Shining Light League Winner FBE World Tag Team Champion Dr. Logan Wright (c) vs Apeirogone 3rd Defence
The term ‘Final Boss’ isn’t thrown about lightly. Throughout FBE history, only one man’s been truly synonymous with the term. They say it’s anyone’s season until this man comes around. They claim he’s the type of guy to fly down to Hell and come back with gift shop souvenirs. World Championships, two-hour Gauntlets, Three Stages of Hell, he’s been there and won them all. Wins over damn near every single person that’s come to matter throughout the company’s history, he’s that guy. Legendary factions, shows named after him, an entire cult of personality backing him as the company’s Commissioner, what more could you want out of a person’s resume? Well, it’s not about what the people want, or what he himself wants, but rather, what another man yearns for. The chance to immortalise his name into wrestling history. The chance to join only four others in their abilities to beat this man. The chance to cement themselves as a Final Boss forever.
Dr. Logan Wright, reigning two-time FBE Pure Champion off the back of being one of only two to pin the current World Champion this year, reigning FBE World Tag Team Champion via ending the longest championship reign of any title in company history after winning 2023’s Punish & Crush, inaugural Shining Light League Winner by sweeping through 6 matches front-to-back, and the man that will carry his title into the first-ever BTE-equivalent Blitz show, P.U.R.E, has selected none other than Apeirogone to be the third challenger to his Pure Title!
For months, the Medicinal Magician has silently watched as people have lauded the accomplishments of his Ark brethren against the Infinity Ace. Cactus Mike almost taking the man to a draw. Code Blue ending his 1347-day undefeated singles streak. Kaze Tanaka sending him into retirement. But what about him? What about the final member of The Ark? What about the licensed medical practitioner that’s on the best run of his entire life despite the constant demons rattling around inside his brain? They’ve all had their chance, so why can’t he? Forced to wrestled with the “can never beat a veteran legend” stigma for years, he’s decided to put down his stethoscope and declare no longer! Even after there’s no reading on his ECG and 0 of his 206 bones have been reduced to dust, he wants to the world to remember his name!
So, it begs the question – What happens when one of the greatest of all-time steps outside his comfort zone and into the kingdom of another man to fight for only one of two championships he doesn’t have hung up on his wall? Will Apeirogone avenge his previous losses to The Ark by taking away the prize that breathed life back into the soul of the Doctor in his first-ever BTE-style main event? Or will Logan Wright silence the critics until the end of time, keeping his undefeated streak extending back to January, keeping his unbeaten Blitz Big 4 streak, and keeping his Pure Championship by felling a legend? It’s the Final Boss of Blitz versus the Final Boss of FB to close out P.U.R.E!
Prompt: Book Kenny Omega until Double or Nothing 2024 (Max 1000 Words)

All bookings are due on June 3rd at 11PM EST, so don’t delay on those. Fourteen star-studded matches on the card featuring 39 unique competitors – the most there’s ever been on any FBE show in history – let’s make this a memorable first P.U.R.E, lads! Pure rules.
submitted by InfernoAA to FantasyBookingElite [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 00:47 i-bystander [USA-IL] [H] Switch, GameCube, Wii U, DS Games; DS Lites, XBox HD A/V Pack & Component Cable [W] PayPal

Switch, GameCube, Wii U, and DS games listed below. DS Lites would be the perfect project for a Gameboy Macro, or put them together to get one nice looking device - just don't have the time to tinker with them right now. Let me know if you have any questions, or would like additional pictures. Prices shipped OBO.
*****
Switch
GameCube - $50
Wii U - $40
Nintendo DS - $40
DS Lites - $65 for both, $85 with the games above
XBox HD A/V Pack & Component Cable - $100
submitted by i-bystander to GameSale [link] [comments]


2023.05.29 00:31 karnerblu Memorial day cookout by Albany Food not Bombs, Monday

Memorial day cookout by Albany Food not Bombs, Monday submitted by karnerblu to Albany [link] [comments]