Interesting portions werre bolded by me.
You Aren't Prepared for How Disturbing 'Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets' Is
The Prime Video docuseries interrogates abuse within the Duggar family as well as the insidious Christian organization, IBLP, they subscribe to.
By Rich Juzwiak
The four-part Prime Video series Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets, which premieres June 2, is structured like a double helix. On one side is an excavation of the “shiny, happy,” and God-loving image that the prolifically breeding Duggar family put out into pop culture via its TLC specials and eventual series, the most recent iteration of which was called 19 Kids and Counting. That series was famously halted in 2015 upon reports that the family’s eldest son Josh Duggar had sexually assaulted five girls—some of them his sisters, including Shiny Happy People subject Jill Duggar Dillard—prior to the family’s TV deal(s). The followup TLC series, Counting On, which focused on some of the grown-up Duggar siblings as they procreated, was also canceled after another bombshell: Josh’s 2021 arrest for the possession of child sex abuse material. He was convicted and sentenced to more than 12 years in jail the following year.
The other side of the docuseries concerns the Institute of Basic Life Principles, the Christian umbrella organization that the Duggars were a part of and (often subliminally) evangelized via their TLC shows. They homeschooled their children via the IBLP’s curriculum, which was created by then-IBLP leader Bill Gothard. Like Josh, Gothard faced sex abuse allegations—in 2014, more than 30 women accused Gothard of harassment and sexual abuse, and in response he stepped down from IBLP leadership. Gothard was then sued in 2016 by a number of alleged victims, though they withdrew their case in 2018 in part because the statute of limitations for the allegations had been exceeded.
The allegations sex abuse in the Duggar family and their larger religious organization are but one parallel explored in Shiny Happy People. There is, of course, the Gothard teaching that women are subordinate to men, something the Duggars were extremely open in practicing (hardly a surprise when abuse results from such a doctrine). There’s also the IBLP’s advocacy of child labor for building various structures, reflected in not just the Duggar children’s hands-on work, but also in their participation in a show that they didn’t exactly consent to be in. The docuseries’ ping-ponging between IBLP teachings and Duggar practices “naturally evolved as we started finding all of the similarities,” said Shiny Happy People executive producer Cori Shepherd Stern in a recent Zoom interview with Jezebel. “It was like, ‘Wait a minute, these interview subjects are talking about child labor, and then we’re finding out all of this child labor stuff [about IBLP].’”
Shiny Happy People co-directoexecutive producer Olivia Crist described the Duggars as the “poster family” for the IBLP, and though their direct connection to the church wasn’t always specified on their shows, its teachings were exhibited matter-of-factly in the Duggars’ presentation of their lifestyle. “When you watch it through this lens of understanding how the IBLP operates, you’re going to see stuff on the show that’s directly from IBLP,” said Crist. Other examples include the modesty standards, which had the Duggar girls and women wearing sack-like dresses (sometimes with bloomers), the process of courtships, and the expressed notion that one’s first kiss should be saved until marriage.
“It’s like these almost bullying institutions or individuals who really exert a great deal of power over a lot of individuals—usually women, children, other vulnerable populations,” said Shiny Happy People executive producer Blye Faust. “Oftentimes these things just flourish and hide right there in front of us. And it takes a lot of people to look the other way to allow them to amass the power and influence that they do.”
Whether or not TLC was aware that it had been distributing effective propaganda for IBLP, it is undeniable that the network and the Duggar shows’ producers played a role in blasting out their covert messaging of Gothard’s values. Jill Duggar Dillard, the only of the 19 Duggar children featured on 19 Kids and Counting to appear in Shiny Happy People, recounts her father negotiating his family’s participation in the show without any of the kids’ input (how patriarchal of him!). She says that the Counting On producers were shocked when she said she did not want to have her childbirth filmed by the show’s crew (she and her husband Derick Dillard, who is also interviewed in the docuseries, filmed it themselves). She says that when she asked TLC to compensate her for out-of-pocket costs related to childbirth, she was told, “Well, we paid the family.” Jill maintains that she was never paid for her participation in the multiple TLC series depicting her life (“No cash, no check, no nothing”) and that a contract her father had signed for her when she was underage carried through into her adulthood.
“Listen, this is not a takedown of TLC,” said Blye. “We had reached out to members of the TLC production team that worked on the shows at the time and weren’t able to get anyone on to speak to us. So, you know, it’s a little bit hard to know what they knew and when they knew.” Crist said the question of TLC’s culpability is “one we pose in the show to the audience to kind of decide for themselves.”
Blye said that her team had reached out to “a number of the family members” beyond the siblings, and those who agreed appear in the docuseries. In addition to Jill and Derick, they include patriarch Jim Bob Duggar’s sister Deanna Duggar and her daughter Amy King (née Duggar), as well as former Duggar family friends Jim and Bobye Holt, who say they learned that Josh “touched his sisters inappropriately” in 2003—the year before the first Duggar special, 14 Children and Pregnant Again!, premiered on TLC. At the time, their daughter Kaeleigh Holt had been selected by Josh for courtship for marriage. In Shiny Happy People, the Holts recall Michelle Duggar (Josh’s motheJim Bob’s wife) saying that Josh only intended to reveal his abuse to Kaeleigh after they were married, and that when asked whether Kaeleigh was “a carrot to get Josh to behave,” they said Jim Bob responded, “Yeah, kinda.”
Regarding Jill’s interview, Crist said, “There was some hesitancy on her part and rightfully so, because of all that she’s been through.” In the doc, Jill maintains that her brother’s abuse allegations never should have been made public (she also says that if she had to do it over again, she wouldn’t participate in the interview that she gave Megyn Kelly in 2015 essentially downplaying the alleged molestation). Of course there was a compelling reason for the allegations to be made public: It shattered the “perfect family” image the Duggars were attempting to put out that could easily be read as propaganda for the IBLP. On that note, Jill attests she was raised in a “cult-like environment,” and there’s footage of Jim Bob recounting his condition on participating with TLC: “We will do this documentary as long as you don’t edit out our faith.”
“I think that when a person has experienced abuse, there’s a huge amount of shame involved in that, so even admitting that you’ve been abused is a huge weight to carry,” explained co-directoexecutive producer Julia Willoughby Nason, who along with Crist interviewed Jill. “I think the layers of her maybe telling a portion of it to one individual in a certain context at a certain time of her life was one thing, but developing it and having her story being put into a [public] context where she didn’t give consent adds insult to injury.” In addition to Jill, the docuseries contains interviews with other survivors of IBLP’s alleged abuse, including Emily Elizabeth Anderson, who was a plaintiff in the Gothard sex abuse case. (When reached for comment by the filmmakers, Gothard declined to participate.)
In aggregate, Shiny Happy People is a damning portrait of a Christian organization that created a power structure leaving so many of its followers open to abuse, and a profile of exactly how that played out in one family. The many other survivors of IBLP and its teachings whose testimonies appear throughout the docuseries’ four episodes only further speak to the insidious nature of the church’s invocation of purity, godliness, and moral superiority—a condescending facade for revolting exploitation.
The four filmmakers Jezebel interviewed expressed desire to continue on the IBLP/Duggars beat after the release of Shiny Happy People. “This is just a small portion of this world,” said Nason. “This is just a taste. It’s scratching the surface. It’s so many layers—compact layers of earth, of generations, of systems of social control.”
Stern said that one aspect of the docuseries she would like to expand on is the penetration of IBLP teachings into prisons. “I encourage people, after you watch this, to read how far it went into our prison system and how taxpayer dollars were used to make these things that were colloquially called ‘God pods,’ where women prisoners in particular had to read the [IBLP] teachings and be part of it. And they got special housing and they got special food.”

Hello all. I have written here before about my job at Ultima Resort (1,2,3,4,5,6,7), though I know it has been a while, sorry about that. We were trapped for some time, my phone died pretty quickly, and I wasn’t able to recharge it again until the water receded. So, I haven’t really been able to write. But I am getting ahead of myself. Let me get you up to date, then it will all make more sense.
I opened a door and peered into the closet, but the noise was quieter here, if anything. I shut the closet and continued down the hallway. The dripping had started out intermittent. The gentle plip, plip, plip was barely audible over the normal sounds of the hotel, and we had assumed it was related to the steady rain that had been drumming on the building for a few days, at that point. But the frequency of the dripping had been increasing steadily, and now was concerningly loud and constant. It was somehow audible from every corner of the hotel, and it was only a matter of time until the guests complained. They were already irritable because of the bad weather, which had kept them stuck indoors. As I passed a window, a flash of lightning lit the forest behind the hotel. The lights flickered ominously but it stayed on. The clap of thunder rattled the doors in their frames. I spotted Vincent hurrying towards me from down the hall. His face seemed pale.
“Well, did you find the leak?” I asked.
“Umm… you could say that,” he replied, uncomfortably, eyes shifting to the storm outside.
“What’s wrong?”
“It… well, you should just come see.”
I followed him down the hall to the ballroom where we had hosted the anniversary party some days back. It had been a nice event. Less deaths than I had expected. The hors d’oeuvres were pretty good. There was still a bit of smoke damage on the west wall, but we had cleaned it off as best as we could and the place looked presentable again, though I was now thinking we should put on a new coat of paint. It was hard to decide, when I wasn’t sure if the room would even be here next week. Vincent opened the door on the back wall and gestured me inside. This was new.
It was some sort of small storage cupboard, with dim lighting and a low ceiling. It was full of what looked like furniture, draped in white cloths for storage. I wondered what the furniture was made of, because the room had a strange fetid odor, that reminded me of rot and death. I covered my nose with my hand instinctively, but it did little to help. The small window in the back showed that the rain continued to fall outside, but it didn’t seem to be the source of the leak, as the floor around it was dry. Still, the leak must be in here, because the sound was louder than ever. I took a step forward, to get a better look at the room, but Vincent grabbed my arm and pulled me back, pointing towards the ceiling. I looked up to see a large dome light. It had a strange dark tint, and hardly any light made it through. But something else was coming from the dome. Drips fell in a steady rhythm, and as my eyes tracked them, I saw them splash into a widening puddle on the ground. The puddle was viscous and black, glimmering in the dim light. I looked back at Vincent.
“What is that?” I raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t really look like ordinary water to me.”
“I don’t know. Maybe… it is picking something up as it drips through from the roof?” he did not sound particularly convincing.
“Maybe,” I tried to play along. “Though, I am not sure I want to know what that could be. Did you check if it is coming from somewhere upstairs?”
“Yeah. Nothing out of the ordinary on the floor above, and I can’t find any signs of a leak anywhere else.”
“Alright,” I backed out of the door and closed it behind us. “Well, I am sure whatever that is will work itself out.”
“What? We’re just going to leave it? Why did we even bother looking, then?” Vincent protested.
“I was worried it was a roof leak, something we needed to handle with routine maintenance. That does not seem to be the case,” I raised a questioning eyebrow. “Do you know how to fix whatever is going on in there?”
“No…”
“Me neither. In this place, when the ceiling is dripping black ichor, it is probably for a reason. I assume we’ll find out when one of our guests gets involved.”
Vincent opened his mouth, as if to protest, but even as he did, the sound of the phone at the desk echoed through the hotel. Vincent sighed,
“Alright, let’s go see what fresh hell awaits us today.”
I heard a small chuckle inside my head. I resisted the urge to ask Al what he knew. He answers were rarely helpful. He didn’t seem to lie, but he was often intentionally misleading, saying whatever he thought would elicit the most drama. I was tired of giving him the satisfaction. I was sure I could sense his disappointment when I refused to engage, but maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part. I couldn’t blame Vincent for being apprehensive about what the guests’ inquiry might be. The three men had arrived to participate in some sort of golf event, but they been here for 3 days now and since it had poured every moment, the event was not taking place. The guests were very unhappy about this turn of events, and they had mostly been killing time by taking it out on us. That wasn’t exactly a surprise. The rich ones were always the most demanding, unused to being told ‘no’ even when the question was ‘has the rain stopped yet?’, and based on the Bugatti they had arrived in, these men were quite rich. I answered the phone on the desk, already suppressing a sigh.
“Ultima Resort, front desk, how can I help you?”
“You can come and open the bar,” the voice on the other end snapped. “It’s past noon and the sign says it should be available by now.”
“I apologize, sir. I’ll be right there.”
“You had better be. The service at this place is frankly astounding. Honestly, I don’t understand why anyone ever stays here. I have half a mind to leave a review warning people away.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I know your stay hasn’t been ideal, but please bear with us and we will do everything we can to make it right.”
“You can start by hanging up the phone and getting me my drink.”
The line went dead in my hand. I sighed and replaced the phone on the cradle.
“Let me guess, they wanted to give us a large tip and leave early?”
“Don’t quit your day job,” I chuckled. “You wouldn’t make it as a psychic. Come on, let’s go open the bar, before we have a mutiny on our hands.”
I grabbed the key to open the shutters from the desk and we headed into the dining room. Our three guests were standing around the locked bar, making a show of checking their watches. I struggled to keep my eyes from rolling. It was 12:03pm.
“You know,” Jack turned to the man next to him, but spoke loudly enough to be sure I could hear. “This reminds me of some of the dumps we stayed in before we made our fortune, you know? The little rat trap motels in the port towns we had to stay in.”
“The customer service certainly leaves something to be desired, for a 5-star resort,” his companion, Stewart, sniffed. “For the amount we are paying, I would expect better.”
I turned the lock, opening the bar. I let them vent; I didn’t particularly care if they left us a bad review, and I certainly couldn’t do anything with a good tip, so they were free to hate it here if they wanted. It mattered less to me than they could possibly imagine.
“Can you both hear that leak from your rooms?” the final man, Lesley, asked.
“Can we? I swear it is audible from everywhere in the hotel. There must be a dozen leaks in this old roof,” Jack laughed.
“It would explain that,” Stewart gestured to wet stain on the carpet across the room, oozing out from under a door I didn’t remember being there yesterday.
I glanced over to Vincent, he shrugged,
“I guess we’ve got a new connection to the ballroom. That’s kind of handy,” he said quietly to me, stepping behind the bar and reaching for the rum to pour; it was all they ever ordered.
“That’s another thing that reminds me of the old days,” Jack elbowed Lesley. “You would think a landlocked hotel would be drier than a yacht, but here we are. Maybe you should get out a mop, see if you remember how, Les.”
Lesley stiffened,
“I don’t do menial labor anymore, Cap.”
“Of course, of course,” Jack clapped Les on the shoulder. “Just a joke, mate. The usual, my good man,” he smiled at Vincent, who began pouring drinks.
As day transitioned into evening, I left the dining room in search of absorbent material, to put down on the leak that was spreading persistently into the dining room. I found some cat litter in a back closet, and it seemed like it would do, for now, so I returned and began spreading it over the growing stain. Jack at the bar looked up blearily, watching my work, before finally declaring,
“Oh, so it’s shit, then. That would at least explain the smell.”
“I think it smells more like a rotting carcass,” Stewart interjected.
He had a point there. Maybe I should get some baking soda from the kitchen.
“You know what?” Jack concluded. “Let’s get this next bottle to go. We’ll take it to our rooms for the night. I can’t stand the smell down here another minute.”
He grabbed the bottle from the bar, then he rose and led his friends out of the dining room. I couldn’t say I was sorry to see them go. Vincent circled out from around the bar and approached the soggy patch on the floor.
“So, is that the storage room?”
Now that we were alone, I risked turning the knob and I opened the door to see the same storage room we had entered earlier, though now the light fixture was pouring dark liquid onto the floor, the drip having turned into a deluge. I slammed the door again.
“Maybe we should get Manny,” I concluded.
Manny stood back, watching the ichor pour down like a waterfall. It was pooling around our shoes now, even standing outside the doorframe. He stroked his chin,
“How long has it been like this?”
“I don’t know,” I frowned. “It’s certainly sped up since we found it several hours ago. Any idea how we stop it?”
Manny closed his eyes for a moment, then frowned.
“I think, perhaps, that we should move the food and water from the kitchen, so they don’t get spoiled.”
“Move them where?” Vincent asked.
“To the top floor storage closet. It’ll be safest there. Come help me gather things up.”
“What, exactly, do you think is going to happen?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Let’s just get to work, we probably don’t have much time.”
Manny turned and strode into the kitchen. Vincent hung back and tapped my shoulder,
“What does he know that we don’t?”
“I have no idea, honestly,” I shrugged, and Vincent headed off towards the kitchen. “Do you know?”
I kept my voice low, so the others didn’t hear.
Oh, are you speaking to me now? Al sniffed.
“Depends, are you going to say anything useful?”
Perhaps for a…
“If you say ‘for a price’ we can go back to not talking. I am not trading anything for this.”
I think you will find I am much more helpful if you are willing to make a trade.
“I categorically disagree with that statement.”
Fine, I could feel him scowling. I can give you a hint for free. Maybe try asking yourself what he’s hiding from you?
“Your free hint is that he is keeping secrets?” I raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that true of all of us? That isn’t exactly helpful.”
Well then, perhaps you would like to make a trade?
“Why do I even bother?” I sighed and headed into the kitchen to join the others.
Vincent was helping Manny load food onto a rolling cart. The Chef was, fortunately, nowhere in sight.
“Grab another cart and start loading the soft drinks and bottled water onto it. We don’t have much time before we need to be in our rooms,” Manny instructed.
I heaved a case of bottled water onto the cart, and we all got to work. By the time we made the final trip the carpet in the hall squished under my feet, oozing dark, foul-smelling liquid. It was coming in fast, now. Manny was probably right; we wouldn’t want the food supplies getting contaminated with… whatever this was. After he finished stacking the last bag of rice in the closet, Manny closed the door and turned the key in the lock.
“Well, we should find our rooms. It is getting late, and I doubt they will be in their usual place.”
As he turned to walk away, I noticed blood dripping down from his fingers onto the carpet.
“Manny, wait, your arm,” I pulled up his sleeve to reveal a thin, but deep cut running up his forearm. “What happened? Are you alright?”
Manny yanked his arm away,
“It’s nothing. I must have scraped it moving a box.”
It didn’t look like a scrape. It looked clean, with sharp edges, like a knife wound. But before I could say anything more, he was gone, disappearing down one of the halls.
“You ever wonder about him?” Vincent asked.
“Wonder what?”
“What his deal is. Come on, don’t play dumb. You’ve noticed how strange he can be. How he seems to know things about this place he shouldn’t. Surely, you’ve considered that he might be… one of them.”
“One of them?”
“You know, one of the things that run this place, like the Chef. A demon.”
“Manny? No, that’s ridiculous.”
“Why? He was here before you, maybe he was always here.”
“He is nothing like the Chef or the Masseur. It’s obvious that he is a person.”
“Is it? Maybe that’s just another trick. Maybe he is here to torment us, to steer us wrong.”
I shook my head,
“No, he’s helped us, helped me, many times. It’s impossible.”
“Alright,” Vincent shrugged. “But I have a bad feeling about this one, Lucy. Something about that… water. It isn’t right.”
“You always have a bad feeling. Come on, it’s time to get to sleep.”
“Right. See you tomorrow.”
However he knew, Manny was right. I found my room on the 2nd floor, in a back hallway. Since it wasn’t in its usual place, it took longer to find, but I did manage it before the deadline and locked myself in. Somehow, I could still hear the sound of flowing water, though. I could hear it everywhere in the hotel, in fact. In a way, it was soothing, people liked the sound of flowing water, right? So, keeping that in mind, I allowed it to lull me to sleep.
The morning arrived without fanfare, or a discernable difference in the light coming in through the windows. The storm continued to rage outside, and the clouds were so thick and dark that it was impossible to tell that dawn had broken. Still, my watch told me that day had arrived and so I left the room prepared to mop up whatever water had pooled downstairs and try to serve breakfast. No food had appeared in my room last night, so breakfast sounded very appealing. At least I could sneak a muffin or something. As I arrived at the stairs, I saw Manny standing on the landing, gazing down at the lobby.
“Is the mess bad?” I asked.
“You could say that,” Manny didn’t turn as I approached.
I reached the railing and gasped. The lobby was gone. The whole first floor was gone. All I could see was dark water, lapping against the stairs.
“How is that possible?”
“That’s not really a relevant question, in this place,” Manny noted. “Let’s just call it a flash flood.”
I jogged over to look out one of the windows, lightning flashed, illuminating an alien view, the lawn and garden were also gone. The only thing in sight was a sea of dark water, with the occasional tree protruding from the surface.
“What do we do now?” I asked.
“What we always do. Vincent has headed upstairs to lay out some food. We can help him, then lock up the rest and go clean rooms.”
“And if the water keeps rising?”
“We keep moving up the floors, I suppose.”
I stepped down the stairs until I was next to the water, and reached out a hand to touch the surface, wanting to test its temperature and texture.
Stop!
I froze in place, hand hovering above the liquid, the command so urgent I couldn’t ignore it. Trying to act casually, I rose and headed back up the stairs,
“Alright, I’ll go help with breakfast. Maybe we should put up a sign directing the guests to the 5th floor?”
“I’ll handle that. We will have to ration the food carefully; we don’t know how long we will need to make it last. Whatever you do, don’t show the guests where the food is locked up, and only bring out enough for us to have a small meal.”
“Right,” I nodded. “See you up there.”
I turned and headed up the stairs. I waited until I was out of earshot to ask,
“Ok, what was that about?”
Do not touch the water.
“Yes, I gathered that. Why?”
Because you belong to me. And I need you alive.
“What is the deal with that water, exactly?”
But only silence answered. He was done volunteering things for the moment, apparently. I sighed and continued up the stairs. Vincent was waiting for me on the fifth floor, hovering by the landing, looking down over the dark, gleaming surface of the new lake below.
“Have you ever seen anything like this before?” he asked as I reached the top of the stairs.
“Nope, this is a new one.”
“I wonder if this is what being on the Titanic felt like?” he mused. “Water rising, nowhere to go, just waiting for the end.”
“We aren’t on a ship, though.”
“No. Does that make it better, or worse?”
I shrugged and Vincent passed me a bagel,
“I figure we should eat the breads first; they’ll go moldy in this humidity. We can save the rice, potatoes, and canned goods for later.”
“Makes sense. Do we have a way to cook any of those things?”
“I looked around. Some of the rooms have fireplaces, I guess we can hang a pot over the fire, cook that way. But maybe all this will stop before we get to that point.”
“Maybe,” I wasn’t exactly feeling optimistic about it.
I helped Vincent lay out some fruit and soft breads on the hall table, so that when the guests awoke, they would have something to eat.
“What exactly are we going to tell them when they get here?” Vincent asked, putting out some bowls. “We can’t exactly say that the hotel is sinking and it’s all perfectly normal, can we?”
“What else is there to say?” I shrugged. “It’s some sort of flood. We don’t know any more than they do. It’s the truth, right?”
He considered that for a moment, then nodded.
“I suppose it is.”
A sudden commotion from downstairs drew us to the railing. The three guests were standing on the 2nd floor landing, looking down at the water, Manny was saying something I couldn’t quite hear, but the response was clear enough,
“What do you mean, underwater!” Steward shouted. “This hotel is on dry land. We specifically avoided anything near the ocean or any major body of water. Where did all this even come from?”
“We are located on a flood plain. It is possible that the dam broke upstream,” Manny explained calmly.
Dam, huh? That wasn’t a bad explanation.
“If that is true, where are the authorities, shouldn’t someone be here to evacuate us?”
“I am sure they will be here when they can. Until then, we just need to stay calm and safe. There is breakfast laid out on the 5th floor, please stay away from the water and we will relocate your rooms to the upper floors.”
The trio of men grumbled, but eventually they headed up the stairs. Vincent and I ducked back to our places. As they grabbed fruit from the table, Lesley scowled,
“I told you we should have left days ago. We could have moved to another hotel. Now we’re trapped here, in this dump.”
“Oh, relax, Les,” Jack chuckled. “We’ve been in worse scrapes before. This isn’t a big deal.”
“And if the water keeps rising?”
“I bet we could manage to make a passable raft, eh Stewart?”
Both men chuckled, sharing a private joke, but Lesley still looked anxious.
“I didn’t ever want to be out on the water again. We agreed.”
“Seriously, Les, just keep it together, alright? Let’s just eat something and find some way to kill time. I am sure the authorities will send a rescue crew and we’ll be out of here in no time.”
I opened the storage closet and felt my heart sink as I looked on the nearly empty room. We were down to only a couple of boxes of crackers and a few bottles of water. We had rationed the food carefully, but it had been over 2 weeks now, and we had almost exhausted our supply. I wasn’t looking forward to telling the others. Things had been getting tense. The power went out on the third day, and by now every cellphone we had was dead. Not that anyone could get a signal before that, anyway. The water had risen all the way to the fifth floor, so we were all trapped together on the top floor of the hotel, with nowhere else to go, if it rose any further. The guests had mostly given up hope for rescue, and the rest of us knew that was never a hope to begin with. So, now it looked like the six of us were just going to be trapped up here to starve, if we didn’t drown first. I covered my face with my hands.
“That bad, huh?”
“Vincent. No, it’s… it’s not…” what was the point in lying about it? “Yeah, it’s that bad. We are almost out of food, and the water has risen at least another foot since yesterday.”
“What are we going to do?”
“I have no idea. Let’s just get back to the group. We shouldn’t leave Manny alone, in case the guests come out of their rooms.”
“Right.”
We walked back to the central hallway together. As we entered the room, I saw Manny with his back to us, removing a soaked shirt. Even in the dim light, it was clear that his back was webbed with dozens of scars and cuts. Vincent cleared his throat and Manny hurriedly tugged on a dry shirt.
“I patched the hole in the roof,” he explained. “The rain should stop getting in from there, at least. And I brought down a full barrel of rainwater and replaced it with an empty one.”
“Thank you, Manny. At least the water from the sky is… normal. Because we are going to have to start drinking that water from time now on, I think.”
“And the food?” Manny asked.
“Some crackers, nothing more.”
“Well, I guess we will all need to tighten our belts, then.”
A moment of heavy silence passed between us, before a door burst open and Jack emerged.
“Where’s the food?” he barked. “We’re hungry and the table is bare.”
“Food’s gone,” Manny replied coolly. “There is water in the barrel, to take the edge off.”
“We can’t survive on only water.”
“We can, for another couple of weeks.”
“So that is your plan, to slowly starve to death?”
Manny shrugged but didn’t reply.
“Well, suit yourselves, I have a better plan.”
Jack turned on his heel and stormed out.
“What do you think they will do?” Vincent asked.
“He said already, didn’t he? Build a raft,” Manny replied.
“Maybe that isn’t a bad idea,” I offered. “We could help, try to get out of here?”
“Has attempting to leave ever worked?” Manny asked. “No, all we can do is hunker down until this resolves itself. And I don’t think going out on that water is a good idea.”
“Should we try to stop them, then?”
“No. If they are focused on building, it will keep them off our backs, for the time being. Let them do what they want.”
Vincent and I spent the next few days watching the three men lash together furniture using heavy objects as improvised hammers and strips of torn bed linens as ropes. They seemed to actually have some idea of what they were doing, and they quickly fell into a rhythm, with Stewart and Jack doing most of the planning and construction and Lesley being ordered to fetch supplies and carry heavy objects. He grumbled about it, but did what they told him. They mostly didn’t even notice we were there, as long as we made a show of occupying ourselves with some cleaning task or another. They never even bothered to ask why we were still cleaning and maintaining a flooded, sinking hotel all day. It was hard to tell if they just paid so little attention to us that they didn’t notice, or if they simply figured it was our way of coping with the situation. Occasionally, they would ask us for some material they needed but could not find, and we would help as much as we could, then they would go back to ignoring us. On the third day, when the raft was beginning to look seaworthy, Jack sat back on his heels, admiring their handiwork.
“Well, boys? What do you think? Will it float?”
Stewart rubbed his nose with his thumb,
“I think it’s as fine a vessel as we have ever crewed, captain.”
Jack laughed,
“And you thought we had left those days behind us for good, eh chief?”
“They are. But it looks like it will come in handy for us, one more time. Good luck, huh?”
“Good luck?” Lesley’s face turned dark; he had been increasingly dour over the last few days. “I don’t see the good luck in any of this. I think we are reaping our just reward.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Les, this flood has nothing to do with us.”
“No? You think all this is normal, then? It’s been raining nonstop for weeks, the water keeps rising, no one has come looking for us. It’s like…” he hesitated before continuing. “It’s like we are alone in our own private hell. Just us and dark water everywhere. I don’t know how you aren’t thinking about it. I can’t stop. I see his face whenever I close my eyes. I see the dark puddle in the bottom of the lifeboat. Maybe this is what we deserve.”
Jack backhanded him across the face,
“Pull yourself together, swabbie. And don’t speak again until you’ve regained your composure,” he turned back to Stewart. “Now, we need to get this to the roof before we finish lashing it together, or it won’t fit. Then, we can either find a way to launch it, or we can wait until the water rises enough, what do you think, Mr. Stewart?”
“Well, captain, I say we rig up some ropes to lower it, because if we wait until the water is that high and anything goes wrong, we won’t have another chance.”
“Very good. Alright, Les, help us lift these pieces.”
The raft was relocated to the roof and the next 3 days were spent lashing it together and making the ropes strong enough to lower it the ever-dwindling distance into the dark water. When they were finally ready to launch, Vincent, Manny and I gathered on the roof to watch. I had to admit, I was really beginning to hope they succeeded, even if it didn’t seem likely. We were still rationing out the last few crackers, but three or four crackers a day did little to even take the edge off of the hunger, which gnawed on my guts like an animal. If this didn’t work, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I looked over at Manny, his face grim and starting to look a little gaunt. As he turned to face me, I saw blood coating his neck and seeping into his shirt collar from a cut near his ear.
“You’re bleeding.”
He reached up and touched his neck, bringing his hand aways stained crimson,
“Shaving cut,” he offered, wiping it off absently with his hand.
I raised an eyebrow, but let it go. I had noticed Manny with little cuts or scars before, but he was always doing landscaping work or maintenance, so small cuts and injuries didn’t seem unusual. But suddenly, in such close quarters and confined indoors, it was apparent that he seemed to injure himself more than I would expect.
Curious, isn’t it? Al asked, speaking up for the first time in sometime.
“You have something to tell me?” I mumbled under my breath.
No, just noting that there is power in blood. I wonder what he uses it for?
Power, huh? That was probably worth thinking about. Later. For now, my attention was drawn to the makeshift ropes lowering the raft into the water. The raft settled into the water with barely a ripple, the liquid was entirely too thick and seemed to stick to the wood like oil, and the sound when it hit was less a splash and more of a splat. The three men looked at each other, confusion and concern on their faces.
“That doesn’t much seem like normal water, Cap’n,” Lesley noted.
“Probably lots of mud and silt mixed in, it’s nothing,” Jack waved away the concern. “Get down there and then you can help us down.”
Lesley shook his head, mutely.
“Fine, Stewart?”
The other man didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded apprehensively and moved to the edge of the roof and clambered down onto the raft. As it bucked and shifted under his weight, he lay down, waiting for it to stabilize, but instead, the rolling and pitching seemed to increase. Then, from the water under the boat came dozens of pale human hands. They were terribly bloated and marbled with green and grey. Corpse hands. Stewart looked down, terror written plainly on his face.
“No! It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t cause it,” he shouted at the corpses looming under him in the dark water. “You want the captain, not me!”
If that was meant to mollify them, it didn’t work. The hands gripped the wood and pulled, capsizing the raft and pitching Stewart into the water. He screamed as he hit the surface. Not just from fear, but pain. He tried clinging to flipped raft, but hands wrapped around his torso, trying to pull him into the dark. I could swear I heard whispers rising from the surface: Join us.
“Help me, please!” he cried.
He was too far down to reach from the roof, but maybe there was another way.
“Hurry, if we can get to the windows on the 5th floor, we can pull him in,” I shouted.
Vincent nodded and we ran down the stairs, searching for the room closest to him in the water. The screaming helped. When we dragged him inside, he was covered in scratches and bites from teeth that looked very human, some very deep and freely bleeding. His skin was stained from the dark water. The hands continued to reach for him, so I slammed the window shut, leaving them to paw at the glass, just as Manny burst into the room, followed by the other two guests. Seeing the seriousness of his injuries, Manny moved closer, kneeling next to me.
“Some of these are very deep. We need to get pressure on the wounds. Go grab some towels,” he instructed Stewart’s companions.
He inspected the bites and scratches more closely,
“Lucy, this bite is on an artery, press down on it hard, or he will bleed out. Vincent, go get some soap and water, we will have to clean this as best we can, under the circumstances.”
Vincent rose and Manny and I were left alone with Stewart, who seemed to have passed out.
“You seem to know what you are doing,” I noted, pressing down on the bleeding wound.
“I… I was a doctor, once,” he didn’t meet my eyes when he said it.
“Wow.”
“It was a long time ago. Another life.”
“Why didn’t you ever…” I was interrupted when Stewart’s eyes snapped open.
“I need a priest,” Stewart grabbed Manny’s collar, his eyes fevered and unfocused. “I need to confess my sins, before I die.”
“You aren’t going to…”
“We killed him,” he pressed on, oblivious to my objections. “Alan Ross.”
“The billionaire?” I blurted, surprised. “But he died in a… shipwreck…”
I fell silent. I remembered the news stories; Ross had been on a luxury yacht on the way to the Cayman Islands when it wrecked in a storm. The entire crew was lost, except for the captain, the chief mate, and a single deckhand, who had survived in a lifeboat. Ross was in the lifeboat as well, but he had already drowned, before they were able to drag him on board. They had drifted for over two weeks, with his corpse, before they were found and rescued. It had been a major news story, about a decade ago.
“It wasn’t like the news reported,” Stewart gasped. “When the yacht started taking on water, we should have stayed and helped to organize the evacuation of the crew. But Ross wanted to leave right away. He offered us money if we took just him and abandoned the others. We agreed, the captain and I. Lesley was just a deckhand, but he saw us leaving and followed. We quietly launched a lifeboat and fled, leaving the others to their fates.”
“How did Ross die?” I asked.
“He had a bag with him. It was so heavy he could hardly carry it. When he put it in the boat, it fell open and it was filled with diamonds. He was taking them to the Caymans. When we saw that, we… well, we decided. If he didn’t survive the shipwreck, if the diamonds were never found, who would know? We drowned him and hid the diamonds. When we were rescued, we waited awhile, then we sold them, made millions. But it wasn’t worth it… it wasn’t worth this. The guilt…”
He slumped to the ground. Manny met my eyes over the body,
“I think we lost him.”
As I looked up from the body, I saw Jack and Lesley standing there in the doorway, towels in their hands. There was an ugly look on Jack’s face.
“I wish he hadn’t told you that.”
“Told us what? He was raving, delusional,” I attempted.
“We were standing right here,” he replied.
I swallowed hard. Jack advanced into the room, holding a broken table leg like a club.
“We’ve kept this secret all these years, it isn’t getting out now.”
“We won’t tell anyone,” I protested.
“That isn’t a chance I am willing to take. Besides, with the food supply exhausted, it was always going to come to this, eventually. Might as well get it over with.”
“What are you doing?” I heard Vincent call from the doorway.
“Lesley, take care of him, will you?” Jack continued to advance on us.
“Please Jack, hasn’t there been enough death?” Lesley protested.
“Don’t act all innocent, you agreed to this, just like the rest of us. In for a penny, in for a pound, my friend.”
I glanced around for a weapon. Between the three of us, we should be able to take him, but I didn’t much like the look in Jack’s eyes. Manny had stood, backing slowly away as Jack advanced. Then the captain took a swing at him, Manny jumped to the side and the makeshift bat shattered the window behind him. Jack’s expression turned to one of horror as a pair of pale hands gripped the doorframe and a body began heaving itself through the open window. The broken glass sliced its bloated flesh to ribbons, but it didn’t halt the creature’s ingress. Dark, thick liquid that smelled of death oozed from its wounds.
“Alan!” Jack exclaimed, backing away swinging his bat at the creature.
“You owe me,” it gurgled.
We all backed out into the hall, but the creature advanced, slowly, leaving a trail of black liquid on the carpet as it walked.
“Is it money you want? I can get you your money back, your diamonds,” Jack offered.
“What use do I have for money?” it wheezed. “You owe me a life.”
Jack hit the body with his club, but it didn’t slow its progress. He screamed as it reached out a hand and closed it around his throat. Jack was lifted off his feet and the creature carried him to the stairs and plunged him into the dark water. At first, he flailed and fought, but a dozen hands rose from the water, gripping every part of his body. When he was completely immobilized, the corpse released him, letting him be dragged down into the depths. Then, it turned,
“Now,” it spoke to Lesley. “Will you fight, or come willingly?”
Lesley was trembling so hard he could barely stand,
“Please, I’m sorry, I beg you, spare me.”
The creature’s lips curled into a grotesque smile,
“Do you regret what you did to me?”
“I do, I do. I never should have agreed with their plan. Please, have mercy.”
“Did you have mercy on me, when I begged?”
Lesley shook his head.
“Then accept your fate.”
“What… what do you want me to do?”
“Walk into the water. Give your life willingly. Perhaps they will spare you, if you do,” the creature laughed, dark liquid bubbling from its mouth.
Lesley nodded haltingly and began to walk towards the stairs, stepping into the water, he walked down until he was submerged up to his waist. Then, the hands wrapped around his arms and torso and abruptly dragged him under. For a long moment, it seemed like he was gone, the same as Jack, but a moment later, he was thrown back onto the landing. Lesley raised his eyes, now as black as the water, and the creature smiled again, a tooth falling from its mouth as it did.
“Very good,” it burbled. “You have been baptized and born again into a new life.”
Lesley nodded, a serene smile on his face. Without a word, he rose and walked back into the room we had vacated only a moment before. Outside the window, the raft had been righted and floated serenely on the water. He looked down at Stewart’s body, then picked it up and draped it over his shoulder. Glancing back at the three of us, he winked,
“A snack for the journey.”
Then, he stepped out of the window onto the raft and drifted away.
“Don’t suppose any of you would care to join him?” the corpse of Alan Ross inquired. “Be born anew in the cleansing water?”
We all shook our heads silently.
“Oh well, another time, then.”
And with that, the corpse walked into the water and disappeared.
That night, our usual meals appeared in our rooms, and by the next morning, the water had receded, as if it had never been there. The electricity came back on, and the rain stopped. I was finally able to charge my phone and post this account. I tried asking Manny for more information about his time as a doctor but is as reticent as ever. I will keep trying, though, because Vincent and Al are right about one thing, there is something suspicious about how much he knows that he shouldn’t. But, that is a problem for another day, after all there is no need to rush, we aren’t going anywhere.
Until next time,
Lucy

First Previous Next
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Squilla

Squilla looked up from the docupad and at the blank metal wall of her room. Tony’s code was all over the place and though she was able to keep him out of the more important systems—the ones that would give the AI control over the ship she didn’t want it to have—it was not enough to keep him out of everything.
Tony was everywhere on the ship, but at the same time not where he should be. Usually, AI systems would be focused on a specific task. Navigation was the most common, there were not many biological forms that could compute interstellar travel so fast. Communication was rarely given over to AIs, there were enough advances in basic systems to make it pointless to put an AI there. Weapons were dependent on the government – did they trust their captains more than their programmers?
But Tony was in all of those.
Tony was in the sprinklers that he used to torture Squilla every time she entered a room after their second acquisition of the ship. He was in the speakers and playlists. He was in every docupad and every light—including the ones used specifically to project his humanoid hologram. He was in the gym’s VR system – riding a rocket board in the air between Alice and Ilise and trying to distract them. At the same time, he was a sprite wearing armour and fighting rainbow dragons over the X button of that annoying pop-up for vigara that he sent to try and stop Squilla from reading his base code.
Tony was in the cleaning ducts, the weapons system, the comms, the DME, and the yet-to-be-installed stealth tech Ilise brought back on board. The device was only turned on in Squilla’s sandbox and she found fragments of Tony’s code.
A beep made her look back down at her docupad where Tony’s sprite was waving at her. It looked mocking. She shut off the pad’s screen only for it to flash with a giant pixelated grin followed by another ad-bomb full of enhancements, pills, injections, and the occasional gaming review.
Those last ones always caught Squilla’s eye and she had a hard time turning away from the last ARC-championship announcement or the gossip about the galaxy’s top players being in a polyamorous relationship.
“Please stop this,” Squilla barely got the words out before the AI’s hologram appeared in her room right by the door.
“You should take down that firewall,” Tony replied but he was smiling. He looked sweet. The docupad flashed with another ad-bomb and Squilla threw it onto the bed so she wouldn’t have to look at it.
“I take it down and half of these ads will download a virus onto your systems.”
“I can deal with viruses.”
“But not with a firewall?”
“Well... you’re good. We both know that. And it’s less of a firewall and more like hardened magma, waiting for me to touch it so it explodes and burns--”
“I’m sorry Tony, I can’t,” Squilla interrupted him. “We both know why.”
Tony said nothing but the pout on his lips almost, almost, made Squilla take her words back.
“That last time wasn’t my fault,” he said quietly, his voice moving to the speaker right by Squilla’s head and coming only from there.
The AI was flawless. The way it moved and shifted. It was so biological, like any other lifeform that Squilla had encountered. Sometimes, she forgot he was nothing more than code. Very advanced code, yes, but code nonetheless.
“I know. But we were lucky last time that Charyd didn’t get caught too. This time? Who knows what hidden doors and traps you have in your code that will make it so we all get caught.”
“I’d know if I had any such codes!”
“And you’d tell me?”
Tony was quiet. His hologram hugged his chest and looked away. It was so... human. That was the only reason why Squilla was able to get her defences back up and harden her tone as she said, “Firewall stays on until we get to a CEMP-dock.”
“CEMP-dock?!”
“Only for your comms, I promise.”
“There are not many places in the galaxy that have a CEMP-dock.”
Squilla realized she had already revealed too much. “I’m going to be late for dinner. We’ll continue this later.” She passed right through the hologram and made her way to the mess hall. It was dinner time and Polo had promised to make her favourite tonight – catappa leaves on top of boiled beetles sprinkled with the ash of burnad. It was also the perfect excuse to stop talking to the AI.

Ilise

The moment Ilise’s alarm beeped, she was up, dressed in the loose shirt Charyd had given her (that did not have the man’s scent on it, it really didn’t Tony, what the fuck? Why would you even ask that?!), bed made, and out of her room.
After weeks of being stuck, she wanted to be anywhere, even in the uncomfortable chairs on the deck. She knew Alice was watching her with a close eye, and because of that, she dared not enter Tony’s room in fear of a logger being planted on the biometrics by Squilla.
“Good morning, Tony. Any reason why it's cooler on the ship today?”
“The thermostat has been changed to 15 Celsius.”
That was odd, but it was nice to not sweat as much during her workout. “Any insight on where we might be located right now?”
“The Darkstorm is in space. Flying past some planets, and asteroids. Quite a scenic view, seen nowhere else in—”
“Can you narrow it down by galaxy?”
“I can. But I think you will be surprised when I show you where we are at. Polo has informed me the best things in life are surprises, like a jellyfish-filled donut.”
Her sister loved strawberry cockroach-filled donuts. She would aim her massive, big bite so the filling would explode and stain Ilise’s shirt. “I prefer to be prepared for anything. Could you give me a hint?”
“Yes, it orbits a sun.”
Ilise could not help but let out a loud sigh. She paused in the hallway, surprised to see Squilla standing outside the gym door without a tablet in sight. “Ms. Posey, I was wondering if we could talk.”
“It’s Captain Posey.” Her comm pinged and she glanced down at it. There was a short message from Tony flashing on the screen, telling her to “beware the kraken!”
“Oh, um, but well, you don’t captain this ship or crew for that matter. It would be like calling me Senator Squilla.”
“Well Senator Squilla of Charyd’s Crew, I am still a Captain by rank according to the military until my superiors say otherwise.” Her comm pinged multiple times. Tony probably sending a message one word at a time to her. “But I don’t think you came here to talk about titles. What is it?”
Squilla’s antenna flickered around, sensing, she crossed her multiple swimmerets across her chest. “It's about the AI. I think it has evolved too much. I need to know if you have a way to shut it down and restart it. It’s branching out into everything it shouldn’t. I can’t contain it.”
“Tony isn’t something to be contained. Tony is the ship, free in space. This is about your firewall.” That explains how Tony was able to determine where they were.
Squilla nodded. “I am asking you, for our safety, to tell me how to restart the AI you call Tony.”
Ilise leaned, getting close. “You can’t restart Tony.” She gently patted Squilla’s shoulder. “Though it sounds like you gave it an incredible try, better than anyone else ever has. I’d be willing to help you get a job in the cyber security department.”
Squilla peeled Ilise’s hand off. “A desk job never appealed to me. If you won’t help me, I will find a way to talk directly to Tony and figure out what their true processor is to make them stop. Nothing should have the power to be all over the ship. Departments exist for a reason.”
The threat emitting from the small person was enough to send chills down Ilise’s spine. “Then I suggest you keep your little clickers out and tucked in tight in your department.”
“Brrrr.” Charyd bellowed out. “You two need to chill – no heat out. Squilla, do you need my help?”
“No. I can handle things in my area. Thank you, Captain.”
“Hold up!” Charyd called out. “In all seriousness, it’s a bit chilly today. Do you mind checking the thermostat setting?”
“Sure, but it’s at the one we agreed to.”
She skittered away down the hall to the deck. Charyd pulled the hood on his grey sweater up over his head. “What? My ears are cold.” He then took a very slow and deliberate twice-over—nope, make that four—of Ilise’s body from head to toe, lingering a bit too long on her chest.
“What are you doing here?” Ilise growled out the question and crossed her arms over her chest as if that would help divert his attention elsewhere.
“Is that my shirt?” he asked then immediately waved a hand in the air. “Never mind. Holiday for Alice. You get me.” He walked into the gym, and she followed.
“Won’t be much of a race against you. How about a boxing match – gloves off.”
He morphed his fist into a large red brick shape. “Unfair match, I can make it as large and hard as I want.”
“You can morph into anything you want, why does most of your species take on the more human look?” The broad shoulders and thick dark lips, but his eyes were unique to him. Something he could change to blend in more with the humans, but instead used it to stand out.
“Because that’s what works better in the military. Alright, to keep this fair.” He grew taller than her, his fangs protruded out as the lower lip pulled out and his upper tucked in. His jaw became squarer and his shoulders and hips broader, stretching the seams in the sweater. “Oh damn. “
He wiggled out of his sweater, encouraging the sound of thread ripping. He remained in a tight-fitting work shirt, his pecs ready to bulge out. Ilise forced her eyes to lock with his (she would not be as rude as he was earlier) and resisted echoing his words. Her heart was racing and constricting in her chest. She cleared her throat a few times before talking. “Well, those arms will make this a bit unfair, but I will best you at bench pressing with that body ratio.”
Her comm pinged, and she scrolled through the messages from Tony, ignoring the single. Fucking. Letter. Texts that he sent her earlier while she was with Squilla, to see his latest. “The Shicor body ratio of 134/110/123 of shoulder, waist, and hip, would do better in bench pressing. Try squats with that ratio.”
Charyd was able to morph anything on his body, she would take any advantage handed to her by Tony. “Squats barbell.”
Charyd took a step over, wiggling and shifting his pants around his waist. Based on his gait, he must have shrunk parts of him down. He clearly had some experience in adjusting his groin and hips. He put the bar on the ground and began to load it up, starting small at a hundred and fifty. Her stare must have been burning into him for he looked up and wiped his hands on his pants. “I liked to do a stretch or warm up round to get a hang of a new body.”
“Mmmmhmm” she agreed.
The form of his clothes as he pulled up the weight left little to her imagination. She stepped around the back to watch him adjust the barbell and dipped into the squat.
“That’s a fine ass.” The speakers said.
“Mmmhmm,” Ilise replied casually. Then her face heated up and glowed purple.
Tony sent her a message. “You did not hear that.”
Based on the smile on Charyd’s face as he added an additional weight, he just got an ego inflation enough to hold 700 weights.

Tony

Systems check.

Create handshake with Cadoon.

Error. Cadoon not found.
I’m going to have to do this on my own like everything.

Find table Clothes&Accessories

Table found.
List items.
Run randomizer.
Show results.
Head: cowboy hat. Chest: breastplate armour. Legs: purple skinny jeans. Feet: scuba flippers. Accessories: VR-headset.
Rating Style: ?_

34

34 < 75
Running Randomizer again...
Head: Spiked rainbow mohawk. Chest: N/A. Legs: Orange brown kilt. Feet: Chrome Crocs. Accessories: Banjo.
Rating Style: ?_

30

30 < 75
Running Randomizer again...
Head: Long ribbon pigtails. Chest: Space Uniform Three-button shirt. Legs: Peacock feather decorated shorts. Feet: Yellow flip-flps. Accessories: Eye-patch.
Rating Style: ?_

29

I am not making any progress.

Run [email protected]

5 entries found.
List Complaints
Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: Sprinklers. Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: Disco lights. Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: Stupid Sprinklers. Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: Failed Ad blocker. Reporter: Squilla. Complaint: ‘HR Complaints’ do nothing.
No one cares about how I dress. Or hates me. I’m not annoying.
I’m not making a first impression. But just in case.

Run JobApprovalRating(Target Tony)

Accessing logs...

Stop

Last command has ended abruptly.
I’m just looking for excuses.

Build Outfit {

Head: Black Privateer hat with red bandana and feather. Chest: Brown Corsair coat with white shirt. Legs: Black leggings. Modifier: extra-tight. Feet: Black leather boots. Accessories: Parrot.
}
Outfit built. Register in database? Y/N
Y
Name?
The-privateer-totally-not-a-Pirate
Registered.

Access camera MH-042
Participant Count

7 humanoids found

Render “The-privateer-totally-not-a-Pirate" in location “Mess Hall”

Render completed.
They’re all looking. Time for an opener.
“Captains, may I have this honour?”
A humanoid is interacting with hologram.
Captain Charyd via chair.
Is he pulling out the chair? What does one say in this situation?
“You are looking great Captain from your workout.”
“You’re not looking so bad yourself.”

Render ass jiggle in chair.
Play macaw-bird-cry-6.

Humanoids are interacting with hologram.
Captain Charyd via moving the chair out for it. Scooball via raising a glass of iced water in toast. Polo via serving chips layered with cream and chives, designed like a processor. Ilise via reaching to pat near hand. Mishupeshu via slow blink toward it. Squilla via turning on dinner music playlist. Alice via pushing a napkin toward its plate.

Run: Recording-Happy-Memory

Logging Sound, Sight, heat sensors, and CO detectors.
If only I could log smells and emotions.
…
...
Warning: Fuel tank at 15%<<
---
First Previous Next
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Author note:
Hello all readers! Ducks and I have an announcement for you: we are going on hiatus with this story for at least 2 months.
As much as we love this story, Ducks and I decided to torture challenge ourselves and have signed up for the publishing derby - this is an epic contest where we have to write a book in 2 months. Why not??? 🥲
We also each have our own main stories (The Thedre Trilogy for Ducks and God of Discovery for me), so adding OMD on top of that is going to be too much for both of us. Because of that, we have agreed to put Off My Dock on hold during the derby.
We will be back! We have a lot of interesting things planned for this story and are only halfway through our outline so far.
Hope you stick around for our return!!

This is Part 2 because of the character limit, go here to get caught up: https://www.reddit.com/TheDarkGathering/comments/13urkbj/the_thing_in_the_cracks_part_1/
Talbot awoke in a round corridor. At least he thought that’s what it was. The corridor seemed to be made of dark stone, rough and ridged like a worm’s tunnel, but on a massive scale. Despite no visible light source, Talbot found he could make out every detail in the space around him.
Talbot shakily stood up and considered his situation. His hands were shaking. He supposed nearly getting killed by lethal injection and then shattering the very fabric of reality itself took a toll on the psyche. He reflexively reached for his notebook to note that down, and with a pang remembered that it was gone. He would likely never see it again.
Glancing around, Talbot wondered at how normal everything looked, considering he was in the fifth dimension. There was likely more going on under the surface, but from his vantage it just looked like an oddly lit cave.
Talbot noted that there was no sign of Willis. He’d distinctly remembered the other man getting pulled through time and space with him, but at some point during the traversal his hand had been wrenched away from Talbot’s wrist. Had he been shunted back to their reality, or was he here somewhere?
A deep rumble began to grow beneath Talbot’s feet. The entire cave shook like an earthquake as Talbot scrambled to the side of the tube.
Confused, the man glanced around. He saw no probable cause for the rumbling, no subterranean vehicles or even geological fissures that could explain the vibrations.
Turning, he realized with a start that the rumbling was slightly stronger on one side of him. If it was directional, there was an actual source, not just a general shaking of the environment.
Talbot began moving away from the rumbling, as it continued to grow stronger.
Eventually, he broke into a full run as everything around him shook. He felt like his skull was going to burst. It felt like something was chasing him, a massive subterranean beast.
As the rumbling kept growing, Talbot tripped. Out of nowhere, his foot slipped and he sprawled to the ground, crying out as he landed on his arm. He tried to get back up, which was when he realized there was something right behind him.
Talbot hit the deck, right as something zoomed directly above his head. Wind pulled at his hair and it felt like he was directly under a train.
Talbot screamed, but it was drowned out by the impossibly loud whoosh of the thing above him. He gingerly flipped onto his back, barely staying clear of the surface of whatever was making the sound, in order to see what was above him.
There was nothing but empty space.
Then, he could suddenly see a long gray tube rushing past impossibly quickly. Then it was gone again, but the rushing was still there. It was blinking in and out of existence, only appearing for short bursts, but still there in its invisible state. Talbot realized that it must be dipping in and out of the Fifth Dimension, his own limited perception unable to comprehend its greater state.
Eventually, the thing slowed and stopped. As it was still, Talbot got a better look at it.
It was definitely organic. The exterior of the tube had a pale gray color, with a texture not unlike skin. However, as opposed to the neat, even lines separating cells on human skin, the striations on the thing seemed almost random, forming a surface that, although smooth, had the jagged impression of rough crags.
As Talbot examined the thing and wished he’d brought a camera, he heard something. From the object’s direction of origin, a deep groan emanated from lord-knew-where. Talbot winced as it hit his ears, the bellow deafening. He could immediately detect three things about the cry, judging by the cadence and the way it had slowly grown from an origin point. First, it definitely came from a living thing. Nothing artificial made that noise. Second, it came from very far away. And thirdly, it came from something massive. Impossibly so.
From the other direction, so comparably quiet he barely heard, Talbot made out a shriek that was horribly human.
The thing above him shifted and despite having almost a foot of clearance, Talbot instinctively sucked in his gut.
The tube… the limb began moving in the opposite direction, back towards its origin point.
Like a train, it started slowly but accelerated quickly, beginning to blink in and out of Talbot’s vision once again.
Talbot heard the scream again, closer this time. It seemed likely that whatever this thing was had found and grabbed another person.
After several long moments, the end of the limb finally reached Talbot, shooting past and above him like a tape measure shooting back into its shell when a button was pressed.
After it passed, Talbot sprang to his feet and finally got a good look at the end of the thing’s limb. The actual tube rounded off, dispelling any predictions about a monstrous tentacle. However, what was on the end of the limb may’ve been even more horrible.
Four long finger-like appendages were arranged around the limb radially, each one emerging from the edge of the flat tendril end. They were unnaturally thin, and despite somewhat resembling fingers, they had no visible knuckles and were tipped with sharp claws that appeared to be made of bone. They bent in, each holding their prey in place. Their prey in question was Tim Willis, currently pulling against the monstrous cage. The four outer digits pressed on each of his limbs, drawing blood where they poked him.
The limb, and Willis with it, disappeared around a bend in the tunnel. Talbot ran after it. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, or if he was going to save the man, but he knew that no matter what happened, he wanted to see it.
For a long while Talbot chased the thing, barely keeping pace due to his cardio experience. During the run, whatever existed here continued bellowing, getting louder each time. In addition, each time he set his foot down, the ground felt slightly warmer.
Eventually he fell back, and lost sight of the thing completely. It was impressive that a man of his age and lifestyle had managed to follow the thing for so long, but he had to take a knee as exhaustion racked him. He continued following its path, but at a slower pace.
Eventually Talbot emerged into a much larger chamber. The air here was blistering, and the intermittent bellows had grown so loud that Talbot had to cover his ears every few minutes to keep from suffering permanent damage.
This cavern left him speechless.
Unlike the passage, with its unidentifiable neutral lighting, this cavern was dark, intermittently lit by what appeared to be giant glowworms, each perched on a rock surface and oozing an ugly orange aura into the space around it.
Less than half of the room was lit, but it was enough for Talbot to see that the remaining more-than-half was taken up by a monstrous… thing the same shade as the limb.
It was like a spider, in the same way that a massive dragonfish from the bottom of the sea is like a goldfish. Its main body was shaped like a blimp, and about the size of one too. A large abdomen sagged beneath it as it hung in the exact center of the room, and eight radially symmetrical limbs stuck to eight points around the cavern, suspending it in the middle of the room, and making it look like the center of a giant wheel, each limb serving as the spokes.
This facsimile was somewhat broken by the auxiliary limbs attached to its thorax, countless smaller tendrils identical to the one that held Willis. Some hovered around the thing’s ‘face’, while others darted towards countless holes in the rock around the cavern. As they moved, they blinked in and out of Talbot’s vision as they tapped into primordial forces beyond his eyes.
The cavern was dotted with holes, all exactly the same size and shape as the one Talbot stood in the lip of now. He realized that this thing and its countless appendages must’ve bored into the stone around it, creating a labyrinthine lair not dissimilar to an ant’s hive, but with one crucial difference. Rather than hundreds of tiny workers, this entire place had been built by, and for, one monstrous being.
Talbot was so stunned by the beast that he didn’t notice one of its many tendrils coming straight for him.
It appeared directly in front of his face, resulting in a jumpscare that sent him tumbling backwards, falling onto his back.
The thing moved like a snake, if a snake was constantly flipping between visible and invisible.
It struck, speeding downwards towards the chemist. Talbot braced for impact, but just before it could hit him it disappeared.
Talbot sat relieved, as it had apparently teleported somewhere else.
That was until it reappeared with the fingers around his torso.
The tendril had re-manifested just past him, the fingers clipping partway into the floor as they cradled him. Talbot felt four small pricks in his back and the backs of his thighs, where the claws had pierced his flesh.
The thing pulled him upwards, the fingers embedded in the ground breaking out of the stone beneath him and sending chunks of rock several feet in all directions.
The tendril shot up towards the ceiling of the cavern, rising what must’ve been 60 feet in half a second. Talbot could barely see the ground around the tendril, far enough below to dizzy him.
Talbot saw stars.
Talbot wished he could see the stars.
The tendril took him, in a daze, towards the thing’s face. As Talbot grew closer, he heard a ragged hissing, like an oxygen tank leaking. He realized it was the monster breathing, but immediately was unsure once its head turned toward him.
Its head was roughly human-shaped, but utterly inhuman in every other way. Five dark pits, facsimiles of eyes, were arranged in a pentagonal shape on the top half of its face. The bottom half was flat skin, but flat skin that seemed to be vertically stretched, as though it’d been draped over some opening. That was possibly where the breathing was coming from, but there was no way to tell with no actually apparent orifice.
The thing seemed to sniff Talbot, despite having no nose. Then it turned, and brought another piece of potential food to its head.
With a start, Talbot realized Willis was still alive. Or at least, unconsumed. He hung limp from his tendril, held in place by the finger-things and seemingly unconscious.
But the Thing wasn’t interested in either of them, not yet at least. It brought one of its tendrils up to its head before plunging it directly toward a nearby rock face. Right before it made contact, it disappeared.
Talbot reached towards Willis, but he was just outside of his reach. He didn’t want to yell to the man. The thing had no ears, but there was no guarantee that it couldn’t hear somehow.
The tendril that the thing had sent away reappeared, seemingly partially buried in the rock face. The thing wrenched its tendril from the rock, leaving behind a shallow pockmark in the cave.
Skewered on the spine was a small man. He flailed wildly and screamed something in a language Talbot didn’t know. He was wearing a business suit, but his pants were around his ankles, with baby blue boxers underneath.
Talbot wondered where he’d come from, then realized with a start that he’d likely originated from the real world. Meaning that this thing could reach beyond this reality and into their reality. Oh shit. Maybe he should’ve listened to Talc. If he and Willis hadn’t breached the Fifth Dimension, maybe the thing couldn’t’ve done the same, and this man might still be safe out there.
The thing brought the man towards its face and did the strange sniffing motion again. Satisfied, it brought him even closer. Talbot, despite himself, was curious to see how it consumed prey, and so paused in his attempts to wake Willis in order to watch.
The man screamed as the tendril brought him right up to the thing’s face, and then the thing’s face disappeared, moving through the Fifth Dimension in the same way as its tendrils.
When it reappeared, it was halfway inside the man, the smooth layer of skin clipped through his abdomen.
The thing pulled its head back.
Talbot turned away as a bloodcurdling scream and a terrible ripping sound reverberated through the cavern. He reached for Willis again, and to his surprise, found that he could reach him. He tapped him on the shoulder, and when he got no response, he slapped him in the face. Willis stirred, and slowly opened his eyes. He put a hand to his face and frowned. “Ow,” he said quietly.
Talbot put a finger to his lips and indicated the beast’s head with his eyes, and the gruesome consumption of the poor man.
Willis seemed to get the message. He quietly started prying each finger off of his body, praying that the thing had no nerves in the spines.
Talbot turned back towards the creature, which had repeated the teleportation maneuver a few more times before finally swallowing what remained of the man. Seemingly not quite satiated, Talbot’s tendril began to move as it pulled him closer to its face.
Talbot’s eyes widened and he looked back at Willis in fear. The man made a motion that suggested Talbot should try to stay calm, and that Willis would be along as soon as he’d freed himself.
Talbot tensed as he was pulled along, not wanting to be brought any closer to the monster. The thing brought him up to its face, and seemed to study him with the light-sensitive divots in its face. Talbot glanced back at Willis to see that he’d moved 2 of 4 fingers out of place. The larger man shot him a reassuring nod.
Turning back to the monster, Talbot realized that the other man wouldn’t get here in time. The thing was already lunging its head forward, and it blinked away.
It reappeared with Talbot’s shins inside its face. Behind the skin, Talbot’s feet could feel a damp cavity, so there was presumably a mouth of some sort behind the surface, and it wasn’t just solid flesh. A row of teeth closed around his legs, but not hard. They worked more to keep him in place than to actually damage his legs.
Talbot took a second to wonder why the hell he was considering the consumption mechanics of something that was actively chopping off his legs.
The tendril moved backwards, pulling Talbot away from the thing.
These last few lucid seconds, Talbot’s brain reverted to factory reset settings. Instead of hearing the wet tear of both his legs, or the strangely cartoonish wet pop as the bones in both his shins were yanked away from his kneecaps, he found himself focusing on the strangest things.
Talbot considered the glowworms. Were they native to the Fifth Dimension, or had they come here from his, or another, Earth? If they were native, the convergent evolution with Earth glowworms, especially in an environment so alien, was coincidental to an unfathomable degree. If they had originated from Earth, however, why the orange glow? No glow worms on Earth glowed orange. Also, if they were Earthly, why did the thing not eat them? Did it only eat humans? Was it that cunning? That cruel?
Oh, Talbot realized, I’m falling.
He blacked out before hitting the ground.
Talbot’s first thought upon waking up was, Holy shit, I’m still alive. His second thought was, Holy shit, how the hell am I still alive?
His inner ear told him he was prone, but it’d been on the fritz ever since he’d arrived, so he opened his eyes to make sure. They confirmed what his ear was saying, and he took a quick second to thank all his organs for functioning so well under stress.
Willis sat next to him, notably more intact. He was wearing no shirt, and both his abdomen wound and Talbot’s stubs were bound in the fabric of an Anderson Innovations janitor’s uniform.
Talbot started staring at his abs, which caused Willis to glance down at him.
The other man cleared his throat. “Oh, you’re still alive?”
Talbot nodded softly. “Does it not know where we are?”
“Not yet,” Willis shrugged, “It has no eyes and didn’t see us escape, so it’s sending out tendrils through each passage, and hasn’t picked this one yet. I guess we got lucky when I dragged you in here.”
“Yeah. Why is that, by the way? You were just about to kill me before I trapped you in a hellish cave dimension.” He considered his words. “Which would only be more reason to kill me.”
Willis shook his head and chuckled tiredly. “Call me an idealist, but I didn’t join a group called the Agency for the Preservation of Humanity to kill people. I’m not good at holding grudges.”
“Then why were you gonna kill me when we were still out there?”
“It’s different. I had orders. Now Talc isn’t here, so it’s my decision. The real question is how are you still alive even with my intervention?”
Talbot shrugged, which made him dizzy. “ I’m on my way out. That blood loss will kill me in a couple minutes, if that thing doesn’t find us first.”
Talbot glanced around the environment for the first time, and realized they were once again in one of the small side tubes. Loud bellowing filled the air as the thing presumably scoured its domain for the two men.
“Well, at least our sacrifice will save the rest of humanity.” Willis proclaimed.
Talbot chortled.
“What?” Willis responded.
“Didn’t you see the other guy get eaten?”
“What?! There was another guy?!”
“Yeah, it stole him from our world.”
“Goddammit Talbot, Talc said that would happen!”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” Talbot said, in a tone that didn’t sound very sorry.
“At least it was just once. Talc has your notes, so he’ll keep it from happening again.”
Talbot almost guffawed.
“Goddammit, what am I doing that’s so funny?!”
“No, it’s not you. Well, it is you, a little, but it’s mostly the fact that I… may’ve doomed humanity anyway.”
Willis was silent, which Talbot regrettably took as a prompt to continue.
“Cause you see,” the scientist slurred, getting more light-headed by the second, “before I tried to ship off the notebook to Johnson, I ripped out the most important parts and sent ‘em to Vincent Anderson, my boss.”
Willis remained silent.
“So, you know. Hopefully someone publishes that in a journal somewhere so that people can actually remember me.”
Willis punched him in the face, hard.
Once he recovered, Talbot nodded. Blood ran from his nose. “I deserved that. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that learning how to break reality would allow a Great Old One to start eating people.”
Willis shook his head in disgust. “Talc told you not to. Do you really think your legacy is more important than the survival of our species?”
Talbot didn’t respond. Whether it was because he was speechless or dead was unclear, and didn’t really matter in any case.
Willis turned and limped away.
Two days after Willis and Talbot disappeared to the Fifth Dimension, Talc said goodbye to… himself and Willis-2, and used a Seal of Traversal to return to his native dimension. He reported to his boss that Willis was gone and would not be returning, before going to Talbot’s house and opening the door with the key they’d taken from the scientist.
Talc went into Talbot’s kitchen and fetched a can of tuna and a jar of mayonnaise. He mixed the two together and filled the pet bowl on the counter. Noting that there was some left, he made himself a tuna sandwich and sat next to the bowl.
It took Ozymandius a while to approach Talc, and even longer to warm up to him. However, the cat was curled up against the delicate man, purring like an engine, by the time the sunset rolled around and they both watched it out the large windows at the back of Talbot’s house.
Talc’s phone rang.
“Yello?” Talc said to the unknown caller.
“Hey.”
Talc immediately tensed. The voice was, undeniably, Talbot’s.
“What is this?!? Where are you?!?”
When the Talcs and Willis had reviewed the CCTV footage, they’d realized exactly where Talbot and Willis had ended up, and had naturally concluded that they were dead.
“I honestly don’t know. I was just in the Fifth Dimension with Willis, but now I’m unsure. It’s dark, and my legs don’t hurt anymore.”
“What does that mean?! Are you still alive?! Is Willis still alive?!”
“I don’t think so. I think I’m dying. Already dead?”
“Then how are you talking to me? Are there phones in the fifth dimension?”
“Nah, I can just hear you. My hypotheses are that this is either a feverish hallucination in my dying moments, or that the Fifth Dimension can somehow…” Talbot’s speech sank into bleary muttering, and was unintelligible for several words. “...subsurface conduit.”
“Talbot, you’re delirious. That makes no sense.”
“Good, so it’s the other hypothesis. Just cause I know you won’t actually hear this, take care of my cat.”
Talc moved to speak, but Talbot continued.
“Oh also,” He added, almost as an afterthought, “I sent my notebook to Anderson, so watch out with that.”
“Wait what, excuse me?!”
The line went dead.
Talc heard a thunderous snapping sound. He whirled around to face the window, pressing his face against the glass and staring up at the sky.
A horrific ripping sound filled the air as the very fabric of the Fourth Dimension was rent apart, the sky above Talc yawning wide. The thing’s tendrils emerged from the rift in the atmosphere and descended towards the ground, each one darting around erratically as though tasting the air.
Talc did not know what Talbot, or Anderson, or whoever had done, but he knew that they had forever changed the world around them, and doomed a large portion of the human race.
You haven’t just opened Pandora’s box, you fool, Talc thought bitterly of the foolish chemist, You’ve blasted it apart with plastic explosives.
Talc returned to the couch and cradled Ozymandius. There was little to be done now.
Talc felt almost relieved that his decades-long vigil could finally come to an end.
The Cracks in the world had finally become holes, and through those holes came a flood.

People often complain about how long certain posts are, which always makes me think "well heck, then don't read them".
But there's also a place for short, crisp arguments.
So here is a list (drawn from a recent Tweetstorm I wrote) of what I consider to be the 11 most common myths about this case. Of course, everyone will immediately chime in with "but what about X?!" comments, which explains why many posts have to be so long in the first place.
If you want the full version of the arguments complete with citations, you know where to go.
Here you go, and have at it!
▶️ 1. "Adnan has always maintained his innocence." -- Nope. Adnan testified in October 2012 that he repeatedly asked his lawyer Cristina Gutierrez to negotiate a guilty plea for him, even if it mean spending decades in prison. Of course he continued to claim he was "innocent", but...he was willing to admit murdering Hae to get a lesser sentence.
▶️ 2. "Jay's testimony was worthless." -- Jay changed his story many times, but always insisted he saw Hae's body and helped Adnan bury her. Jay confessed his involvement to police voluntarily, which meant he would have been charged with murder if Adnan had an alibi. Jurors heard Jay testify for 6 days (5 days of cross-examination) & found him credible, as did the judge, who called his account "overwhelming and riveting." Jay's testimony was corroborated by Jenn, Kristi, and cell-phone evidence. Jay led detectives to Hae's car, which a veteran homicide detective independent of the case said was "huge[ly]" important.
▶️ 4. "The cell tower evidence was junk science" -- This issue was cleared up by FBI Special Agent Chad Fitzgerald's sworn testimony in February 2016: Incoming cell tower pings are reliable except in unusual situations not applicable to Adnan's case. This was also the conclusion of "Serial"'s experts. This evidence is still used in courtrooms all over the world, including the Alex Murdaugh case. The overwhelming majority of incoming cell tower pings matched outgoing ones close in time. The cell tower evidence was reliable, objective corroboration for other testimony.
▶️ 5. "Cops and prosecutor pressured witnesses and suppressed evidence" -- Not one of the prosecutors, police officers, or detectives has ever been found to have committed any misconduct in Adnan's case, despite such charges being leveled against them. The only finding of a "Brady" violation (hiding exculpatory evidence) was made by Judge Melissa Phinn in September 2022, but her ruling has been overturned by an appeals court which harshly criticized her ruling and re-instated Adnan's conviction. This case has "arguably received more attention, review and support than any other criminal case, ever" yet nobody has been able to identify a single instance of verified, proven misconduct on the part of police or prosecutors.
▶️ 6. "Adnan didn't have time to kill Hae in 21 minutes" -- The state's evidence did not pinpoint a time of death for Hae, nor did it have to. The prosecution's argument that Hae was dead "within 20-25 minutes" was closing-argument rhetoric based on inferences, not a binding guarantee, and quite likely correct. Nobody could pinpoint the precise time Hae left campus, and doing so was not necessary to reach a conviction. Adnan is just as guilty if he killed Hae at 3:00, 4:00, or 5:00 on the 13th, and he has no alibi for any of these times.
▶️ 7. "Adnan couldn't have done it b/c he had no history of violence & he loved Hae" -- None of this is incompatible with him killing her. Many men who kill partners have no history of violence & exhibit grief after their crime. Adnan's own friends have stated he was possessive. Hae complained of this behavior & their mutual friends confirmed it. Adnan was "flushed & sweating" with rage after reading Hae's breakup note & wrote "I'm going to kill" on the back of it. Adnan had just found out Hae had begun having sex with another man when he killed her.
▶️ 8. "Alonzo S. might have done it" -- Alonzo S. worked until 4 pm the day of Hae's disappearance & had no links to her whatsoever. He voluntarily reported finding her body to police & gave them interviews and polygraphs with no lawyer. He was properly eliminated as a suspect. Also, how did Jay know where Hae's car was if Alonzo killed her?
▶️ 9. "Don C. might have done it" -- Don worked until 6 pm the day Hae vanished. He had no motive to strangle her. He was questioned and investigated by police and properly cleared as a suspect. Even diehard Adnan supporters such as Susan Simpson reject Don's guilt. Also, how did Jay know where Hae's car was if Don killed her?
▶️ 10. "Police are chasing 2 fresh new suspects" -- No they're not. The supposed "new suspects" are Alonzo S., who remains properly cleared & totally unconnected to Hae's death. The other "new suspect" is Bilal A., currently serving 16 years in federal prison for molesting boys (not women) and Medicaid fraud. Authorities have known about both men for over 2 decades and have never considered them suspects or developed any evidence they were involved in Hae's death. There is no new investigation of the case because the Baltimore Police Department already solved the case in 1999 and it remains solved with compelling evidence right now. There will never be another arrest.
▶️ 11 "Cristina Gutierrez was incompetent" -- Adnan's case was prepared by a team of private, well-financed lawyers including Colbert, Mark Martin, Flohr, and Gutierrez, not to mention a team of clerks and paralegals. He had 19 lawyer visits from March to September of 1999, more than the overwhelming majority of suspects. One of Baltimore's top private detectives worked the case for months, visiting many witnesses even before police got to them. Gutierrez' performance at trial was described as competent and aggressive by the judge, and she won major points, for instance relating to Sharon Watts' testimony and the cell tower evidence. She lost the case because she had nothing to work with: her client had no alibi and therefore could not testify to a convincing alternate theory of the case. Even the best lawyers lose cases like this every day.

Buckle up, this is a ride.
My clubs were stolen out of my (open) garage March 2021, and I hadn’t played since the prior summer. Old bag was a set of Ping Eye2s 3-W, R11 driver, white hot putter, Cleveland 56, a “winning wedge”, some 3W I hated, and a sandy I made with a neighbor down the street.
In all, it was really sentimental value that was stolen; they were all handed down by either club pros or family members who taught me the game. I learned how to hit the clubs the way they were, and dealt with the weirdness it made my swing have to do. It got me to a 6 handicap when I was working at a course and playing upwards of 72 holes per week in HS. That bag was with me for 12 moves / 6 states / 5 girlfriends. I was so upset about the fact that all those rounds, the relationship with the clubs, and the people who helped me build them…that thing where you’re rushed through time when you pulled the club out of the bag…was gone.
So I set out to save up enough to get properly fitted with a new set. Sure, I hadn’t hit a ball in a couple years, but I knew I still had a swing. I set up two 75-minute sessions at PGASS (come on, guys) for irons and drivers/woods back in April. Walked out with D, 3W, 50, 54, 58, Putter. Irons 4-P are still in the mail, but my closest golfing buddy had a tee time for this morning, and I couldn’t miss this opportunity to enjoy a nice holiday weekend. So I borrowed some TourEdge Bazooka irons to fill in.
Prior to this morning, I’ve been hitting up a local range that’s grass-only to get used the new bag. Typically, I’ll hit 50 balls on the range; 35 wedges, 15 3Ws. I’ll spend probably 20-30 chipping, same putting. I’ve been doing that 2x per week working out the rusty/lazy bits of my game.
Onto today.
Tee time: 7:50. I’m up at 5 out of excitement and BMs. I can’t wait to hit the course and shouldn’t have ordered Chinese last night. I start packing my sh*t and do some warm-up stretching. I’m in the parking lot at 6:45. Temperature in my car reads 57 degrees, Toy Story wallpaper sky.
After paying / carting up, I work through some putting drills while waiting for my +1 to roll up. We hit some range balls, talk some shit, and ready for a beautiful morning of golf. Meet our paired twosome and it’s a father-son who’s already chirping at each other. Swing feels smooth, reminding myself to be ready to dial in when necessary; have some fun. 64 degrees at this point. Could not ask for a better vibe.
1: start out by topping my 3W into garbage. Second shot hits the fairway and we’re off. After the penalty, I end up hitting +2.
2: Short par 4, 5-iron into light rough, 84 yards and 2-putt.
3-4: missed fairways, but GIR and two-putts. I’m feeling really good within 140
5: 95-yard par 3. My 58 wedge has been all over this number on the range. I stick it past the whole by 4 feet, roll it back to 3 feet the other side for up hill bird shot. Never have I had that kind of backspin on the ball. Drain it. I’m -1 thru my past 4, +1 thru 5.
6: Fade my tee shot right, and hit my 2nd perfect to where I thought green would be, but misread the flag placement and end up in rough. 1 on, 2 putt for bogey
7-9: +2 / +2 / +1 nothing of note other than rusty green-side work.
10: 305 over water. Pull out a 4 hybrid (and I never / can’t hit hybrids). End up 30 short of the green. Up and 2-putt for par
11: 145 yard Par 3. every member of our group hits it within 20 ft for birdie. All pars. Everyone starts trash talking about leaving it short.
12-17: Bogeys caused by green-side inefficiency
18: par 5. Most beautiful tee shot somehow rolls into water. 3 into sand, 4 further into sand, 5 out and two putt to finish the round.
Overall, I walked away extremely happy. Aside from a few nervous mishits, I’ve got a game and finally some clubs that I can fall in love with. It was so nice being out on the course and sharing the time with a dear friend. God I love this itch and am so happy to be scratching at it again. Thanks for listening.

I figured that my wife and I can't be the only ones that will want to play a few rounds during the Caverns run. I'll be bringing my basket for the campground, so feel free to bring discs and rattle some chains!
I've played the last 3 on this list, so please feel free to ask further questions. If anyone is interested in putting a group together to go play and have some lunch one day, reach out!
Can't wait to see you weirdos next weekend!
Nearby Courses:
Baggenstoss Farms: 18-20 minutes from the Caverns. Looks like a mid-range or putter only course. Photos don't show many trees or wooded shots, so this seems like it'd be a fun beginner course or an ace-run course. Recent reviews say that it is a lot of fun.
Swerve: 22-25 minutes from the Caverns. Additonal link. This is a private course located around a lake with around 25 hole. It says that it costs $4 to play with the purchase of a disc. The photos look very fun, but I recommend reaching out to the company to confirm the price and availability.
Nissan Decherd: 22-25 minutes from the Caverns. Looks like another beginner friendly, mid-ranger or putter course. 10 holes. Recent reviews say that it has a nice course flow and is in good shape.
Winchester City Park: 30-35 minutes from the Caverns. This seems to be the best option for an 18 hole course with some variety and difficulty. Recent reviews say it's in good condition and that people have had fun.
Gnome Home: 40-45 minutes from the Caverns. This is a private course desgined by someone that "just loves disc golf". Seems to be quite wooded, with some variety. Seems like it will be a blast but might require some forethought and planning. Check out the Facebook page to ask questions or permission.
Sunrise Rotary Park: 40-45 minutes from the Caverns. Reviews say that it can be quite muddy. Other than that, the park seems like a blast with a variety of holes in the woods and open fairways. It holds 27 holes so might be worth the drive to spend some time out there.
HV Griffin: 55-60 minutes from the Caverns. Mostly wooded with a few open shots. Reviews recommend mid-range and putters. Seems to have some elevation challenges but still recommended for beginners.
Fair Haven: 55-60 minutes from the Caverns. Not the highest rated course but I included it as it's very close to HV Griffin. People complain that it needs to be mowed and there is potential to lose discs.
Don Davidson: 55-60 minutes from the Caverns. Reviews say it is not a challenging course and is recommended for beginners. Looks to be a mix of open fairways and wooded shots.
Portland Park: 75 minutes from the Caverns. Located at the bottom of Signal Mountain near Chattanooga. 9 hole course with open fairways and 3 wooded holes. Not terribly challenging at all. Mid-range and putter course.
The Narrows: 75 minutes from the Caverns. Not recommended for beginners. Easily the most challenging course in Chattanooga. Tight wooded lines, unkept woods. Has a few par 4's sprinkled amidst the course. Challenging 200ish' carry over a pond towards the end of the course. HIGHLY recommend if you are up for the challenge. You have been warned. Same location as The Sinks. Course starts near hole 16/17 of The Sinks.
The Sinks: 75 minutes from the Caverns. This is the older cousin to The Narrows. Entirely wooded 18 hole course (with 2 secret inners) located in Chattanooga. Provides both short and long tees, as well as short and long baskets for nearly every hole. Highly recommend as this is the flagship course in Chattanooga. It will be busy. Same location as The Narrows.
Camp Jordan: 90 minutes from the Caverns. Combination of wooded holes and open fairways. Boasts the longest hole in Chattanooga. Offers a ton of grip and rip holes amidst some very technical wooded holes. Can be very busy as Camp Jordan is a multi-purpose park, but overall is a lot of fun.

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

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FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

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FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.

Hi everyone! I just finished my initial cataclysm playthrough of the Palace of Ice DLC. I will be doing more testing on the spells & subclasses, but here are my initial impressions about the campaign itself & the new spells. I am not good at doing the proper syntax for spoilers on reddit, so I have just put spoilers on the whole post itself. If you do not want spoilers for the campaign itself, do not read this post until later. I won't go into super spoilers on much of the campaign, but there will be some in there.
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New Spells (I plan to update these during the day next Monday -- be patient!!!)

• 5th Level
  • Mind Twist
    • This spell has been changed to affect your allies alongside your enemies.
    • This is a major nerf to the spell; however, it is still really good against enemies (even on cataclysm difficulty), and a spell I used to reliably burn legendary resistances from bosses -- it just takes better positioning on the part of your party to use well in-combat. It isn't S-tier anymore as a spell, but still a strong A-tier.
• 7th Level
  • Arcane Sword
    • Spiritual Weapon that uses both a higher spell slot and requires concentration. Although true to 5e, it's likely the worst new spell added to Solasta. F-tier.
  • Conjure Celestial
    • A summon option for clerics alongside their Divine Intervention ability (when that works). A solid summon spell in unmodded Solasta, though lags behind other upcasted summon options if you use the UB mod. On the border between high B-tier & low A-tier right now for me, due to the options you have between the summons.
  • Delayed Blast Fireball
    • I can see the usefulness for this on a sorcerer with subtle spell metamagic (new addition with this DLC) if you are using a sneaky party and want some strong round 1 AoE damage. Beyond that circumstance, I'd rather just stick with other options. C-tier
  • Divine Word
    • The ability to instakill up to 6 enemy elementals or fiends on a failed CHA save (both of which you encounter a decent amount of in the PoI campaign) is really good. The HP threshold stuff for other enemies isn't great through, so only B-tier for me. Keep it prepped for those circumstances though.
  • Finger of Death
    • Single target CON save damaging spell. It's only saving grace in 5e is the rez as a zombie if it kills a humanoid, but it doesn't seem to do that from my testing of the spell. There are better dpr spells to choose frankly at this level. F-tier
  • Fire Storm
    • A wall of fire spell that only lasts one turn & doesn't require concentration. I can see why people may pick it, but again there are better lower-level dpr spells you can upcast to do the job here. F-tier
  • Gravity Slam
    • When it comes to AoE damage spells, we expect them to do more than just damage when added at these levels, and this spell doesn't disappoint. It being a STR save also means it's solid against spellcaster to incapacitate them. B-tier for me.
  • Prismatic Spray
    • Admittedly haven't tested this spell yet, but if its not buffed from its 5e version it isn't going to rank very high. Provisional C-tier until I get to test it.
  • Regenerate
    • On lower difficulties, this spell is probably S-tier for a frontliner if "merciless AI" is turned off -- as it can end up being worth a ton of healing words to bring them from unconscious back to conscious. On cataclysm difficulty, it just isn't as great honestly. C-tier.
  • Resurrection
    • Only needed if someone dies to a disintegrate spell. Otherwise, other reviving options are good replacements for it. Didn't happen in my playthrough, but could be situationally useful in custom campaigns. C-tier
  • Symbol
    • In practice, this is the eyebite spell with more options, but requires resources to cast & 1 higher spell slot in lieu of its concentration. Very situational. C-tier.
• 8th Level
  • Dominate Monster
    • High risk, high reward spell to turn an enemy into an ally. Alongside the initial save, they get to save on each of their turns & whenever they take damage. It isn't going to last long for the worthwhile enemies to cast this one, but really good if you get lucky. C-tier
  • Earthquake
    • Essentially spike growth tailored against spellcasters, but also is decently effective against melee enemies that can't fly. B-tier only because so many enemies have flight options at this point.
  • Feeblemind
    • Take out an enemy spellcaster with a single spell (if they fail their save), and its saves on subsequent turns are fairly pointless as their mental scores are all 1's. Nerfed vs the 5e version to only last 1 minute, but that is more than enough time. A-tier
  • Holy Aura
    • The most effective cleric spell in the final final fight of the game. B-tier spell for all other occasions
  • Incendiary Cloud
    • Yet another fog cloud alternative with extra riders on it. It does more reliable damage vs an upcasted Cloudkill (DEX save vs CON save), but it is fire damage in a campaign with a lot of enemies resistance or immune to that damage type. F-tier
  • Maze
    • A more expensive banishment spell that is much more reliable. A strong spell to use on a boss after you have burned their legendary resistances. A-tier.
  • Power Word Stun
    • Another single target CON save spell. Thankfully it doesn't require concentration & can potentially last more than 1 turn. C-tier
  • Spell Ward
    • Designed as a mobile version of globe of invulnerability; however, both spells are bugged right now to let in most cantrips & spells right now. If it is bug-fixed, I'd easily rank it A-tier -- but in its current state, a spell to avoid entirely.
  • Sunburst
    • A daylight spell that is much bigger, does damage to anyone in its area, and is much harder to use. A weaker thunderstorm in many ways & still a CON save. C-tier.
  • Thunderstorm
    • An AoE CON save spell that inflicts damage & potentially stuns enemies in the area. In many ways this is just the superior power word stun, as it at least hurts enemies alongside trying to stun them. C-tier
• Spells I can't test...
  • Divine Blade (8th level)
    • No spellcaster has access to this spell currently, so I can't test it. We will find out eventually if the spell was cut or if it just not added to anyone's spell list.

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Palace of Ice Campaign Review

• Disclaimers & Biases
  • Cataclysm difficulty w/o UB mod features/spell/subclasses.
    • Not on ironman, due to expecting gamebreaking bugs (of which I encountered two -- each of which required loading older saves & avoid certain spells causing the bugs)
  • Point-buy party starting fresh at level 10
    • Motherland Paladin, Battle Cleric, Marksman Ranger, & Loremaster Wizard
    • I figured to play a "traditional" party akin to what many regular players would use, to have a more fair comparison of difficulty.
    • I also didn't use my CotM party, as having everyone have 22-24 in their main start at the start, combined with level 16, was a little overkill (the game saves your XP across campaigns -- so my OG party prepped for this campaign instantly went to level 16 on my first long rest...)
  • There are some rebalancing that will be occurring with some of the subclasses + bugs to fix with others, so I won't be fully ranking the subclasses for PoI until we receive a few more patches
    • E.g. -- in my run, my Marksman Ranger didn't get her 3rd main attack at level 15
• Puzzles
  • Teleporter puzzle
    • For some reason forces you to decipher the books, even if you understand what you are supposed to do -- not really sure why.
    • Options to read those books -- Spy's Cypher (if you have the spy background), comprehend languages (via potion, spell, or item), or have a ring that lets you understand all languages
  • Volcano puzzle
    • It sadly took be a while to realize what you needed to destroy & how. Part of it might be to me having a color deficiency, and those things looking similar to the spiky things you can't destroy until the end of the game.
    • Beyond that, the puzzle was just standing on the platforms and aligning the levers with the holes. Not that hard
• Combat difficulty
  • Of the 3 campaigns thus far, by far the easiest campaign at its earliest levels.
  • Besides the optional Exonaika dragon fight in Telema (a 700 HP dragon with legendary actions/resistances vs a level 11 party w/o UB mod subclasses/feats is a bit to deal with), most of the combats weren't that difficult.
    • Part of the problem honestly was that the campaign had to be designed so you could go to any clan's area right after the initial stuff with Vigdis in the initial city. As thus, most of the battles weren't that engaging nor tactically tough to beat.
    • Then again, like CotM, TA had to balance the encounters around your party not having any spells at all -- so once I do my spell-less party run I'll re-evaluate overall difficulty.
  • Most of the new enemies have resistance to fire or cold damage, and advantage on spell saving throws. As thus, I imagine Law Cleric, Balance Druid, and Hive Warlock would make fighting them easier. Being smart with your spells still made most of the enemies relatively trivial to beat.
    • I appreciated how TA was smart enough to spawn the enemies all apart from each other, so winning initiative and a good control spell couldn't just auto-win the fights. It takes more creative & adaptive tactics -- and I appreciated that in a higher-level campaign, as that should expect more out of you.
  • Palace of Ice area of the game
    • Like CotM final stretch, this area doesn't allow for long rests. However, unlike CotM, you actually have several boss fights in the area. As your martials ideally all have +3 weapons at this point, the debuffs essentially make your "to-hit" chance like a normal weapon. The saving throw debuffs is what hurts the most here, and is why having a Paladin with high CHA IMO is critical.
    • 7 fights total, 3 of them have bosses; all battles allow you to short-rest between them. The 4 non-boss fights unfortunately have extra ally/allies assisting you, which gives you free meat shields to deal with those enemies without costing valuable resources. I imagine on lower difficulties, they might actually be effective enough to defeat some of the enemies for you as well.
• Story
  • Honestly about the same overall as the CotM campaign -- except less crazy at the end.
    • You start with someone asking you to look into a mystery, which turns into a multi-part fetch quest (people & a legendary weapon instead of just gems this time), teleport to a multi-part final battle without the ability to long rest once you go there, and some ok cutscenes at the end.
    • I was a little disappointed our whole party didn't get stuck at the end of the campaign. From the dialogue of the other NPC's prior to going to the Palace of Ice, it felt like the others didn't want to go with us because they didn't want to get stuck -- and would give a more compelling reason for Violet to more earnestly continue her research. At least in the last campaign, there was a compelling reason why our powerful allies wouldn't go with us; this time, much less so.
    • I honestly didn't search around for optional side-quests, as I was at max-level before going to the final clan area of main quests, and had the gold I wanted for the stuff at the vendors I wanted to buy. In my next run, I'll look to see if there are more side-quests to take.
  • As to the future of Solasta
    • TA is hinting that Violet's research would be what starts the crisis that would kick-off Solasta 2 -- her pursuing Exonaika's teleportation research and figuring out how to make a 9th level gate spell (IMO what is depicted at the end of both CotM & PoI). The introduction of the Tirmarian gods to Solasta fundamentally changed magic in the realm, and her opening other realms could be the excuse they need to change systems & looks for the game -- should they decide to pursue a Solasta 2.
    • We know that TA is still undecided between making a Solasta 2, or just doing an entirely different strategy game in a different world. Due to WotC working on their own virtual tabletop with the OneD&D system (D&D 5.5e, or whatever you want to call it), I don't see it as enticing for TA to adapt that new ruleset. Continuing the current 5e ruleset to a new game would also be tricky, betting on the new system being less popular vs the current 5e one.
    • IMO the most likely system Tactical Adventures would use would be Pathfinder 2e. Owlcat Games are focused on Warhammer right now, and there is a desire for people to play a truly adapted PF2e game (Kingermaker & WotR games cover the PF1e & PF1e mythic rulesets). Could they use other ones? For sure -- and I'd buy whatever they make -- but that's just the best guess I have right now.

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Other updates

• See my personal post on the important patch note changes with this DLC launch.
  • Many crafting recipes have changed.
    • Do not rely on wiki's for crafting materials for a while. We all need to look over the recipes again in-game and update those locations.
    • Crafting is overall faster, but will require someone actually talented enough to craft (a high INT character with appropriate proficiencies)
  • Many factions have different items & pricings for stuff now
    • Again, do not rely on wiki's nor past campaign knowledge for advice here. The +STR items require more faction reputation vs the past & require MUCH MORE GOLD than before.
  • Subtle spell metamagic now available for sorcerers.
    • Subtle spell is my favorite metamagic (careful is #2), so it is exciting to see that addition now. When I do the sorcerer metamagic post, I'll go into greater detail about why careful & subtle spell are both really good.
  • Many items no longer require attunement. Most important one? Ring of Darkvision.

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Anyways, that's my initial impressions for now. After I get my thoughts finalized for all of the spells & subclasses, I'll start re-releasing all of the tier list posts for feats, spells, & subclasses again. Are there things I missed? Let me know below!

I see a lot of frustrated posts by PTs about low salaries/too high of a caseload etc. so I thought I'd post some advice for starting your own practice because I truly believe that is the largely the way forward for our profession as a whole.
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All that negativity about shitty companies taking advantage of new grads etc. is completely valid...there are a lot of shitty companies in our field that focus on quantity not quality. I hope I can help some people see that it doesn't have to be that way and that there are other options.
Some background on my practice: I run a small practice (myself, 2 part-time 1099 PTs, and a part-time administrator) in an urban area and I've been in business for 2.5 years. My practice isn't perfect, it's not the end-goal for me, but I take every other Friday off, I treat no more than 10 patients a day, it's all 1:1 care for 60 minutes and I take home about $120K/year pre-tax and I pay my 1099 contractors above going rate. I also take Medicare, I take Carefirst (which is the largest payer in the area) and I accept out-of-network patients from Cigna/United etc. My practice isn't in a big space with lots of overhead. I rent 2 rooms in a community center (very affordable) and furnished the equipment there myself (Crossover symmetry bands, adjustable dumbbells up to 50# each, infinity bands, table, a barbell and some bumper plates...and a few other things...there is a knee extension downstairs and some cardio equipment in the community center) Again, it's not the flashiest clinic and it doesn't have everything I want but it gets the job done.
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Advice...I am just one guy with no business training, no mentorship and no business background that did this myself during the pandemic when I couldn't get a job anywhere. It's probably not the perfect runway to success but it's my experience and I hope it's helpful.
**Making your exit**
If you're currently working OP and want to run your own clinic in OP but are afraid of your non-compete...you shouldn't be. They are largely unenforceable legally speaking (they can't stop you from making a living where you live) especially if you don't *actively* solicit your patients to leave and follow you...if they choose to follow you though...who are you to stop them from seeking out care they want? However, if you're uncomfortable with that...then leave your OP job and go work in-patient or better yet, work 2-3 PRN inpatient jobs or homehealth jobs (depending on how many shifts you want.) They pay well and they won't conflict with your OP practice once you get started. I personally like the PRN route becausae you can start dropping PRN shifts as your personal practice gets more popular. That way, you keep your income coming in and it's not as big of a risk as leaving your OP practice all together and starting with nothing. From personal experience...that is very stressful.
*I didn't get to do this route because again, I started in the pandemic with no job. However, if I had to start over again, the PRN route is what I would do.
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**Establish LLC**
Some people prefer S-Corp. My understanding is it may be beneficial over an LLC down the road when you're making decent money but it's more complicated and requires more paperwork and that's not what you need right now. An LLC is easy. Just search your state and establish LLC and you can likely make one online in like 30 minutes for $150. You'll get a tax-ID number and once you have that you're ready to rock.
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**Open business bank account**
You'll need your tax-ID number for your business. You need a separate account so insurance companies can send you money for your services. Open a bank account for your business and you're off to the races.
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**Finding a space.**
I initally worked out of an amazing gym and it was VERY hard to build a caseload because there was no parking and it was in a busy area of downtown so rush hour traffic was awful. Don't make that mistake. Prioritize the following: easy to get to...easy parking...cheap rent. That is what you want. Easy to get to...easy parking...cheap rent. You don't need a massive storefront ATI lease when you're starting out on your own. Look at community centers...consider renting space from a gym (as long as it fits into those three rules).
*Easy parking. Easy to get to. Cheap rent.
-Try not to pay >$700/month for your space if it's just 1 office room.
-It doesn't need to be big. The most effective part of PT is 1:1 time, your hands, your knowledge, your rapport with the patient, your ability to diagnose and treat what they have going on...flashy equipment is nice but it's expensive and when you're starting out...you don't need expensive thing :)
- Don't do a percentage of revenue (or if you do, put a very short term on it...like 3-4 months just to help you get going.) Even if you only pay $15/session...once you are seeing 15 sessions a week suddenly you're paying $1,000/month for rent. Don't sacrifice your long-term success for short term comfort.
***********ADDED: Do not be afraid of the big PT companies. I set up shop DIRECTLY across the street from both a Pivot and an ATI because the space fit the three rules above. Pivot is a little hidden within the large building across the street but ATI has a storefront presence you can see from the road and I do not...I'm hidden within a community center across the street. On paper that sounds pretty bad. They are both within 100 meters of my clinic and I do not care. I couldn't handle the ATI volume if it came my way anyways. My schedule is full of people that specfically *do not want* the high volume PT experience. The space fit the rules above and I didn't let the larger companies scare me away.
**Insurance**
So this is a big question...do you take it?
-Medicare: I would highly recommend taking Medicare...and just pay someone a few hundred dollars to get you set up...don't bother doing it yourself. Medicare patients love and need physical therapy...Medicare typically pays pretty decent ($100-$115/session at 4 codes in 54 minutes.) Also, these patients typically come to PT in the hours that are typically slow (11am-3pm) and they are an easy demographic to market to because they don't typically have to pay for care. It can take a month or 2 to get set up with Medicare so start the process right away once you find a space (even if you haven't started treating there yet, you can get the ball rolling with Medicare once you signed a lease/rental agreement.)
-In-Network Private Insurance: By using Google you can typically find the marketshare of different insurance companies in your area (for example, how many people have Carefirst versus Cigna etc.) I google searched my city and that healthcare insurance marketshare and eventually found the answer. If 10% of people have Cigna and Cigna sucks (which they do) then don't waste your time taking them right now...you can take them later if you want (probably don't though.) Once you know who are the big dogs in your area...look up their fee schedules for physical therapy codes and see if they are worth your time. Sometimes this can be challenging to do. You sometimes need to start the credentialling process to see the numbers...once you get the numbers from them..you can always decline and not sign the contract. I'd say if they pay less than $90/session you probably can't be in-network with them if you're treating 1:1 for an hour. Remember...you can bill 5 codes/hour with private insurance (AMA) if they aren't following Medicare rules. Medicare is 4 codes in an hour (54 minutes.)
-Authorizations: You do need to understand and take the time to know which plans require authorization. Call the insurance companies to get the answers if you can. For instance, in my area...anyone with a Carefirst plan that starts with MYY needs an auth. I missed that a couple times and ended up treating people for free :/ that'll happen but try to minimize it when you're starting out.
- Out of Network Private Insurance: Great option here. Out of network insurances will typically pay $140-160+/session. I am out of network with Cigna/United/AETNA because their in-network rates are laughable/depressing (still haven't figured out which....maybe both???) Yes it means it's a bit harder sell because patients have to use their out-of-network benefits and typically have a deductible but oftentimes patients do see the value of 1:1 care and they are willing to pay cash-rates for a short period of time until they hit their deductible and their insurance starts to cover some of the care.
So in overview...I'm in-network with Medicare and Carefirst (Carefirst has 80% marketshare in my area) and OON with Cigna/AETNA/United. I wanted to take Medicaid but I can't because it's illegal to charge a cancellation fee for this group. Since I treat patients 1:1...unfortunately I can't afford to just have cancellations that I don't charge for. It really sucks and I wish this wasn't the case but that's the system we live in right now.
My reimbursement breakdown is the following:
Medicare pays me about $105-115/session, maybe around $130/eval.
Carefirst pays about $95/session (just barely what I need to run the business)
Cash patients: $150/eval $135 treatment
OON patients: Around $140-160/session
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**Billing**
Don't do it yourself. Just don't do it. Don't do it. I'm highly recommending you don't do it. Please don't do it. You will hate your life and be bad at it. I use a company called Big Sky Billing. They work with people just starting up and they also work with large companies. They charge me 5% of whatever I get reimbursed by insurance and that is well worth the time of not calling insurance companies, resubmitting when I forget a modifier etc...following up on late reimbursement etc etc etc. They also helped me understand out of network billing. They are wonderful. I highly recommend you do not do your own billing.
Don't try to do everything. You are good at treating people. Outsource the things you're bad at it. You're bad at billing.
**Communications**
Set up your own google gmail with your company name...so [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
I use a google voice number so I have a separate line for my business that people call and it rings on my cell phone. It's cheap and easy.
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**Admin**
You may not need an admin from the start. I didn't use one till I was seeing 20 sessions/week and it really freed me up to start seeing more people. The main benefit of admin is that someone answers the phones, they do your auth's, they check and verify people's insurance benefits and they can also do scheduling. I recommend finding someone that wants to just work part-time and be a 1099...for instance, a stay-at-home parent who only wants like 10-15 hours/week is perfect.
**Marketing**
Okay so you have your space...you are in the process of credentialing...you have a biller set up...how the heck do you get patients? What you do have right now is time. So wield it. Contact community centers around you, gyms around you and offer to give a 45 minute workshop on something...falls risk prevention for the older folks, the importance of strength training (and how to do it) for our older folks...easy tips for treating back pain...make flyers on Canva and post those things EVERYWHERE...go into coffee shops...gyms...whatever just leave them wherever you can..
Google My Business: Most important thing you can do. Most patients don't want to go far so they google "PT near me" and then that little map comes up on Google maps with the pins. Google My Business is how you put your pin on that map. It's freaking free and it's the best marketing. Make sure you fill out the whole profile (rank will be better.) Then, once you discharge patients...MAKE SURE YOU ASK FOR REVIEWS. It feels awkward at first but you have to do it. Patients read reviews to figure out where to go. I email them something like the following after discharge: Hey X once again it was great to see you and I'm so happy you're feeling better and doing so well. If you're open to it, there are two or three amazing ways you can help a small business. 1) Writing a google a review (link here)...patients often don't know the difference between PTs or where to go and reading about your experience will literally make all the difference in who they seek out for care...it is also just incredibly helpful for a small business in getting the name out ahead of some of the larger corporations. Second - if you have a portal where you can drop a line to your doc...they don't know the difference between where people can get PT...hearing about your experience with me can actually literally change who they refer patietns to in the future. Thirdly...simply just mentioning your experience to your friends and family is hugely helpful. Of course, please don't feel any obligation to do this. I hope whenever you're around you feel comfortable popping in and saying hi! It's always great to see familiar friendly faces and I love hearing how you're doing. Wishing you well.
Website: Don't worry about SEO. I'll probably get crucified for this but you just can't compete with the big companies pouring money into it. You're not going to rank in the first page on Google anytime soon. Don't waste your money on it (at least for now.) You want a website that looks nice and is up so that when people find you (through more organic means) they can go to your website and see that you're legit. I use squarespace. It's super easy...pretty affordable and looks good.
Social media: Make an account and start posting. Post on NextDoor and whatever apps you can. Don't sound desperate (nobody wants to go see someone who is desperate for patients) just announce your services and that you're looking forward to contributing to the community.
Docs: Don't buy them lunches. Don't do that. They often don't care and they won't refer you many people but it IS Helpful to go to their offices...just don't spend a ton of time and money on them. Go there, find the names of the docs...go to the front desk and say something like the following: Hey there - I'm a new PT in the area and I've worked with a few of Dr. X's patients...I just wanted to drop off some more cards for them to help with their PT referrals...do they have an administrative assistant I could chat with for a moment?" Sometimes you get to talk to them sometimes you don't. Either way, your cards are now in their office. Some of those visits won't lead to any patients but some of them will. Once you get a patient from them...make sure to fax the progress note and maybe even drop by the office with a hand-written note saying "thank you for sending over X (even if they didn't an the patient just found you randomly...be mindful of HIPAA don't use the full name) we are working on xyz and they're doing better already...I look forward to working more with you in the future, here's my direct line if you have any questions" and sign your name/numbeemail. I got this tip from a friend and i'ts very helpful.
Gyms: Go talk to the owner or manager. Let them know you're a new PT in the are and you're looking for a good gym to send your patients to. This will make them very happy. Ask about their trainers...who is good with working with older adults? Who likes athletes? Show interest in who would be best for your patients...THEN ACTUALLY REFER YOUR PATIENTS TO THEM and when you do, make sure you ping the patient to let them know to tell the manager that you worked with them and recommended they go there. They will now think of you when they have people in pain. The more you give, the more you will get in return.
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**Paying PTs**
In the future I plan on hiring W2s and having full time PTs. But honestly, that's a bit much for me to wrap my head around right now. I have a toddler and things are busy enough without all the complications that go into W2 hiring. I decided to start small, hiring 1099 contractors and paying about $50/hour. I used Square to pay them and it was incredibly simple. Write up a contract (or now you can probably have ChatGPT do it and then have a lawyer look over it) get their info and put it into Square and then you can now pay them for their time. I pay them per session...no risk because you're only paying out money when you have money coming in (although yes it can take a while for insurance to pay you but typically it's like 4-6 weeks.)
**Wrap up**
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Yeah that's a fair amount. I just kind of wrote this off the top of my head because honestly, there is a lot of negativity in this channel and I hope that maybe we can turn some of that around. This list isn't everything... but it's a large part of it. I really think the future of our profession hinges on how many of us are willing to be independent providers and not work for big corporate mills. I cannot tell you how many patients see us and are so thankful to just have 1:1 attention. It makes such a difference in their outcomes and how you're able to change their life and relationship to their body.
I'm just a guy who came out of school in February 2020. Turns out...really bad time to start looking for a job. No business background, no family in business, no mentoring, no training. Just figuring shit out because I literally had no other option. It felt like drinking out of a firehose at first. I had a baby on the way and no job and no money coming in. Really not great. I don't say that to brag. I say it because if I had any other option at the time I would have jumped on it and probably been really unhappy with a low paying high volume job but I would have justified it because of the security it provided me. I would never have started down this path if I had another option because I was too afraid of what went into running a business and I doubted my own capacity. Now, I am so happy I did what I did and I would never go back to working for a big company. The way I did this is not the only way to do it..some of you probably have better ideas..but I do think it's a pretty decent one and it's approachable for those who don't know what the heck they are doing. Or at least I hope it is.
DM me for questions. Happy to help out.
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You can absolutely do this and I hope you do.

Hi, I'm selling the below list of BTS official merch.
Review/Proof of past sales on Reddit
Items are in mint/near mint & full-set condition unless otherwise stated. All discs are tested to play front to back.
Please click on the item name in the table to be directed to the photo album of the item.
If you are on mobile, you may have to scroll right to see the prices.
 
Prices includes Paypal G&S fees, but not shipping.
Shipping is out of Singapore, please check the shipping costs using Qxpress (Link)
1) Change the ccy in the top right corner if applicable
2) Press the International Standard Delivery tab.
3) Input destination country + Weight (Item weight + 200g packaging weight.)
4) Click "Calculate"
Table of qxpress prices for US/CAD for easier comparison.
Ping to discuss or let me know if you have any questions.
 

Item	Comments	Price (USD)	Weight (g)	Status
DVD/ Bluray Sets/PC's
Now 3 Sope PC	PC Only	45
Memories of 2017 DVD RM PC	PC only	40
Memories of 2017 Bluray w/o PC	does not include PC	125	700
Memories of 2018 DVD w/o PC	does not include PC. Minor wear on outbox	60	1600
HYYH on Stage 2015 DVD w/o PC	does not include PC	120	600
HYYH on Stage 2015 DVD RM/Suga/Jin PC	PC Only. RM: 60 Jin/Suga: 80	60-80		RM & Suga Sold
HYYH Epilogue 2016 DVD w/o PC	does not include PC, minor discoloration on top edge of outbox.	90	600
Wings Tour DVD /w Jhope PC	Includes pre order poster. Wear on outbox. Option to buy without PC for 60.	90	900
Wings Tour DVD /w Jimin PC		120	900	Sold
Wings Tour DVD Suga PC	PC only	60
Wings Tour Bluray	Full set with 7 postcards	125	500
LY Seoul Blu-ray /w RM booklet	With preorder sticker. Age spot on inner side of front cover	80	500
LY Seoul Blu-ray /w Jin booklet	With preorder sticker. Minor wear on outbox	90	500
LY New York DVD w/o PC	Does not include photocard	35	700	Sold
LY Europe DVD w/o PC	Does not include photocard	35	700	Sold
3rd Muster Bluray /w Jimin Standee	Includes pre order post card	100	500
Summer Package 2014 /w Jhope PC	Bump on outbox top left. Do note that Summer 2014 packages do not have DVD by design.	250	900
Summer Package 2014 /w Jimin PC	Option to buy the base set without the PC for 200. Minor misprint on the card. Do note that Summer 2014 packages do not have DVD by design.	300	900
Summer Package 2015		110	800
Summer Package 2018 /w RM Booklet	White Version	70	1600
Summer Package 2019 /w Jungkook drawing diary		80	1600
Summer Package 2019 Jimin Booklet	Booklet only	15
Seasons Greetings 2015	Minor age spots on front cover of desk calendar. General wear on outbox. Please note that SP15 dvd's all do not have english subtitles.	100	1100
Seasons Greetings 2016	Comes with preorder standee (Small dent on standee). Minor dent on outbox.	100	1600
Seasons Greetings 2018		40	1400
Album/ Album PC
Dope Grp, Jhope PC (YF first press album)	Grp: 50, Jhope: 30	30-50
YNWA Jin PC	Small dot on back face	5
BTS World album /w RM PC & Coupon	Minor scuff on outer cover due to material. Minor age spot on photobook. Coupon is either used or expired.	25	500
BTS World album /w Jin PC & Coupon	Minor scuff on outer cover due to material. Minor age spot on photobook. Coupon is either used or expired.	30	500
BTS World album /w Jimin PC & Coupon	Minor scuff on outer cover due to material. Coupon is either used or expired.	35	500	Sold
BTS World album /w V PC & Coupon	Scuff on outer cover due to material, bumps on outbox. Coupon is either used or expired.	35	500
BTS World album /w Jungkook PC & Coupon	Scuff on outer cover due to material, bumps on outbox. Coupon is either used or expired.	35	500
BTS World Suga/Jhope/V/Jungkook POB PC with luggage tag	Suga: 25, Jhope: 20, V (minor wear on bottom right): 30, JK: 35	20-35		Suga & JK Sold
BTS World Limited Ed album /w Suga PC & Coupon	Coupon is either used or expired. Yellowing of the magnet.	220	1600	Sold
BTS World album Limited edition PCs full set	Full set of 8 cards (with pink code card). Material is thick plastic with matt finish. Code is used or expired	160
BE Essential Weverse V POB with luggage tag		25
NMD Japan Album Grp PC		40
Wake Up Japan Album Suga PC	Small circle dent on front face top right	20		Sold
I Need U Jin Xmas PC	Minor wear on back face top edge	70
Run Japan Album Group/Jhope PC	Grp (line dent on top right front face):10, Jhope:10	10		Grp Sold
Tour PC/ Other Merch
Bring the Soul Lenticular + 7x Postcard set (JK/Jimin/Jhope)	Jhope:40, JK/Jimin:70. glue on the outer envelope doesn't stick anymore	40-70
BTS Begins tour PC	Choose card (Click for Avail Cards)	70
The Red Bullet Tour PC	Choose card (Click for Avail Cards)	30
Hyyh On stage/Epilogue Tour PC	Choose card (Click for Avail Cards)	8
BTS Wings Tour PC (Ver 1, Ver 2)	Choose card (Click for Avail Cards)	7
Wings Tour Ver 2 (black back) Jin Full set	#1-8 with outer case	50
BTS LY TouSpeak Yourself Jp PC	Choose card (Click for Avail Cards)	5
LY Tour Final Jin Photoset	Lot of 4 photos: Jin #2+3+4+Unit #5	8		Sold
2nd Muster Binder Album Jimin PC	minor imperfection on front face	90
4th Muster Cloud Cards (Kr, Jp)	Jin Jp#3+Kr1+4+5: $8 Jhope Jp#2+3: $4	4-8
5th Muster Guestbook Cards (Jin/Suga/Jhope/Jimin	Jin #4+5: $14, Suga #1+2+3+4: $25, Jhope #1+4+4+5: $15, Jimin #1+2+3+5: $30	14-30		Jin & Suga Sold
5th Muster Busan popup card set		30

Hello there. I released a full stack PHP framework last month with design and functionality targeting highly dynamic applications lacking the guidance of a software architect and devops engineer. It can be summarized as an automated code review towards best practices for maintainable software. These features were informed by my time working under similar conditions, and meant we encountered the following challenges:

• Internal feature release and archiving features
• Breaking unchanged parts of the code by modifying dependencies cuz No clearcut dependency chain, and certainly, no integration tests
• Requiring a full stack developer to work on our UIs (before they were ported to SPAs)
• Entire pages crashing because of an error affecting an insignificant page segment/data node
• Waiting for negative customer feedback before knowing something went wrong, then wrangling error logs
• Sacrificing man hours after giving up on SSR. A front end dev was hired. The back end had to be duplicated into an API with slightly diverging functionality.
• Chasing and duplicating state and errors between the SPA and back end, for the sole purpose of a SPA-ey feel/fidelity
• Cluelessness when our callback URLs broke in transit
• API documentation, testing, breaking clients thanks to indiscriminate updates since there was no versioning
• Irresponsible practices such as requests without validators, fetching all database columns, improper or no model authorisation, dumping whatever we had nowhere else to put in middlewares, gigantic images ending up at the server, models without factories, stray entities floating about when their owner model gets deleted, not guarding negative integers from sneaking in from user input, I could go on
• Corrupted data when operations separated by logic, that should've been inserted together gets broken in between
• Gnarly merge conflicts among just a handful contributors

These objectives above are part of the blueprint I set out to resolve. Unfortunately, I was unable to meet 2 out of that list (yet), but there has equally been room for an enormous amount of unforeseen inclusions along the way. These solutions are what I am soliciting feedback on by posting here
The documentation is at suphle.com but there are two things to note: 1) the documentation is expectedly big and not something one can readily tell whether is worth investing time studying. So I compressed the solutions that set it apart from the regular framework, referencing specific sections in this article https://nmeri.hashnode.dev/a-synopsis-of-the-suphle-framework
2) I've equally received reports about the language in the documentation not being beginner friendly. Unfortunately, I wrote it to the best of my abilities and would readily welcome any contribution to simplify it. Each page includes an invitation to do so. The philosophical aspects are labelled under their own headers, for the reader to navigate away if it's a concept they're already familiar with
So many of those solutions are novel: native modular monoliths in PHP, its testing library, the manner errors are being isolated from the request and caller, decoupling of the authentication system, the Flows feature is unique across the programming world. I will really appreciate seeing these being of immense benefit to enterprises and startups. Many thanks

Apologies this is late, I completely lost track of the date/time difference!
Disclaimer: I am very grateful to have had a lot of parental assistance over the years and also have serious mental health diagnosis, both of these flavour my money choices heavily (e.g. private healthcare and lack of car loan/insurance)
I am also heavily pregnant so please excuse any baby brain related errors!
​
START SCENE
Retirement Balance: $62,000
Equity: $35k of a $680k property, we bought our 3 bedroom apartment last year using my parents’ equity, so no deposit was required.
Savings account balance: 20k - a lot of health/baby related costs have come out of it lately!
Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it): $800 which I pay off each monthly pay, if it wasn’t for the grocery rebates I’d consider getting rid of it.
Student loan debt (HECS): BA in passion/fun area, then IT/Accounting degree, very proud to say I am down to my final $19k!
My husband P earns around $90,000 in healthcare but can be more with overtime, he has around $30k in super and his HECS debt is due to be wiped out following our recent election so won’t be including that.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I had been working in retail full time after loving full time work instead of uni, until my transition to IT so started as a retail casual worker on $30k 10 years ago and changed to IT 6 years ago, jumping from $55k to $95k in that time, mostly through promotions, 1 company merger and 2 company changes.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: I am paid $5200 monthly and P is paid fortnightly at $2400 to $3000 depending on his shifts. Both our pay excludes tax, HECS payment and medicare levy, his pay includes salary packaging.
Section Three: Expenses
Mortgage: 3150 (locked rate until next year, pending interest rise)
Savings contribution: $500
Donations: $25-75 a month mostly to various MH organisations
Electric/Council/Water: 400 (we’re currently overpaying ahead of Mat leave)
Internet/our mobile phones: $320 (we’re currently overpaying ahead of Mat leave)
Subscriptions (Newspapers (NYT, SMH), Youtube, Xbox, online backups/cloud, VPN, pregnancy app, Amazon Prime, Netflix, Bitlocker, UberOne, Spotify Duo): $110
Private Health insurance: $420 for Top CoveTop Extras + pregnancy
Car insurance: covered in my parents plan, our car was a gift from my parents
Regular therapy: Psychologist $220/fortnight and psychiatrist $280/quarter
Transfer to P for things like fuel: $500
7 Day Money diary:
Thursday:
5am
I’m staring at the ceiling while the baby kicks my kidney, P snoring next to me, contemplating my existence. I’m trying not to start ‘the list’ run through in my head (buy milk, have I booked my next blood test, where is my winter coat, etc).
5.30am
Give up on sleep and get up for the day, I make a weak coffee for me and a regular coffee for P (I like the taste of coffee, weak lets me have 2-3 cups throughout the day without hitting my pregnant caffeine limit) and start packing up my lunch and bags for work. It’s OB day so I won’t be in the office until 10am today.
9am
After a dance party in the car we’re at the OB, all good news and another list of final scans and tests, we’re now in the downhill run! I pay for my last half of (private) OB management fee since we’re passed 28 weeks now. ($2500 (Medicare rebate soon: $580))
Stop at a bakery to treat myself before work, danishes are the breakfast of champions! ($12.00)
2pm
Last vendor meeting of the day, and i’m ready to take a nap. I’ve decided to spend the rest of the afternoon working on my handover document, I’ve only got 8 weeks to go before Mat leave!
3pm
Text my psych to convert our Saturday afternoon to a Zoom call, I’m not up for extra waddling to the train this week.
5pm
Spend the train ride home working on my crackhead baby spreadsheet (colour-coded, multi tabbed, shopping list, meal prep list, etc) and researching baby items.
P meets me at the station to grab my bags and we walk home, well he walks ahead and I move at a more stately pace.
7pm
Crawl into bed with a bowl of pasta and Ambulance UK on the iPad, kitten at my feet, older cat at my hip. Eventually P awkwardly maneuvers around blankets, my pregnancy pillow and cats.
11pm
Spontaneously adding to my online chemist wishlist of things I need for post birth and hospital bag. Cats and P grumble when I once again get up to pee, pregnancy feels so glamorous now.
Total: 2512.00 (pending MR)
Friday:
6am
Wander around the apartment with coffee in hand and contemplate the nursery layout options, I’ll measure it all tonight and make a floor plan so I can visualise it better. After boarding the train, I scroll through my due date Bump Group on Discord and catch up on the topics, many of the mum’s are NA based so the chat pops off 12am - 4am my time. I message a few friends and my bestie spams me with tiktoks. We tell a few dark MH jokes and I try not to laugh on the train.
8am
Arrive at the office, coffee number 2 in hand and I jump into a few Teams chats with various groups, including my manager and counterparts in another city’s office. They’re in a different time zone ahead of us so they flag any issues that started earlier our time and I’m grateful.
1.30pm
Where the hell did today go? I’ve barely left my desk and can’t believe the amount of firefighting I’ve been doing today, following up vendors, coordinating fallback solutions for outages, soothing ruffled feathers and talking team off the ledge in stressful situations.
I’ve definitely not eaten enough today and decide to place an ubereats order instead of raiding my mini fridge stash - Subway it is! ($18.97)
I spend my lunch break reading my latest pregnancy/birth book (The Complete Australian Guide to Pregnancy and Birth) and it’s honestly my favourite one I’ve read so far. I’m also a big fan of the podcast the authors run. I have queued up this week’s episode for the trip home as the mum featured has a similar mental health issue to me and I’m excited to hear her journey, also to get ideas for things to raise with my care team.
5pm
Security protocols kick us out of the office building and I am thrilled to escape! P picks me up from work since he’s off today, and my hips and feet are very grateful. There’s a quick stop in at Coles for pizza ingredients, milk and the very essential choc chip waffles. ($46.94)
Once we’re home P feeds the cats and unpacks while I get started on the bases, my birthday present last month was a KitchenAid and at the rate I’m going the cost per use is coming out pretty damn good! I leave the base to rise, pop my feet up and do my nightly blood pressure (127/82) which I log into my health app. I also add my weight from yesterday’s OB appointment and I'm thrilled to say I’ve stopped losing weight now the suspected HG has finally settled.
7pm
Take several brag photos of my pizzas #homemade and settled in front of the TV with blankets, footrest and P. I do send P back to the kitchen twice for serviettes and my water bottle, but once I’m settled, I’m not bloody moving.
I queue up the latest Top Chef (International All Stars Season 20) on Plex and get ready to support my fellow Aussie! P grumbles about my fixation with Top Chef, but all he gets is side eye in response. It’s a great episode for creativity, he even admits the winning dish is impressive. He vanishes the second the episode’s over for his office and a rewatch of the extended, super, mega, special edition of The Hobbit. I move on to Ambulance UK and annoy him over text with questions about the medical terminology being used.
8pm
Bedtime with a heat pack as my back is killing me! I try to convince P to come to bed and hold it against me since bubs is not allowing stomach laying anymore.
8.30pm
Success! P is helpfully holding it against me while I finish the episode and scroll the Iconic. Oh no! There’s now Stanley cups on there, I add it to my wishlist and promise myself I’ll think about it first. I want to also be a chic put together Stanley cup girlie!
Total: 65.91
Saturday:
3am
Back scrolling the Iconic and on a hunch check my credits (after rage returning maternity clothes a few weeks ago) and bingo there’s a credit there. I play around with wishlist items and stacking discounts, there’s a pale pink theme developing between the pink pregnancy overalls and the Stanley cup.
3.30am
Screw it, I’m ordering (10 points if you can guess what room of the apartment I made this order from) and it’s all due this afternoon except the pregnancy belt I've been grumbling about wanting. ($14.95)
9am
P brings me coffee, the kitten and the statement that he’s approved our Medicare Safety Net balance (he’s our primary family member) which means the rest of our refunds will be great going forward!! I’m very excited for 90% back on out of pocket costs for most medical things from now until December. Between my mental health and pregnancy I’ve beaten my normal record of September for the max you can pay OOP.
12pm
I’m sitting on the floor in the nursery trying to sort out piles of tiny clothes and remember to get P to help me off the floor before he heads to work. I head to the kitchen and start the bread process, I make our bread from scratch every weekend and the KitchenAid has made this sooo much easier. I decide one x1 wholemeal seed bread for P and x1 rosemary focaccia for me. Once they’re rising I head off to bed for a nap before therapy this afternoon.
3pm
I made myself some tea and washed my face to prepare for therapy as I woke up from my nap feeling like I was on another planet. I head into my office, no no now the nursery, damn I slightly tear up at the thought of my nice office now being a small desk in the corner. Well that can be another topic for my session today!
3.30pm
My psych and I go over all of the last 3 weeks worth of appointments with my health team and what my next steps are. I need to sort out my postpartum stay referral and lock in when I’m starting my top up meds. We talk through some of my work frustrations (not clear cut sexism but a level of obliviousness some of male managers are showing) and how I’m tracking mood/symptoms wise across the pregnancy. We’re both very aware that the final few weeks of pregnancy and the accompanying hormones can cause serious issues, so we go over warning signs and coping mechanisms. We go over the difference between ‘normal pregnancy feelings’ and my mental health condition feelings.($220)
4.30pm
Session done and my bread has all risen nicely despite the cold weather, I start the baking process and contemplate dinner. P is at work until 10pm so I’m on my own, which means all the Top Chef reruns and Ambulance UK my heart desires! I have a craving for spätzl so dig that out of the cupboard and defrost the schnitzel.
Iconic delivery!! I am officially a Stanley cup owner! I ordered the original, not the soft matte because Tiktok told me to, so I’m hoping I’ve made the right choice. Something about cold water through a straw just hits the spot. My glittery Starbucks cup looks on in disgust.
10pm
P finds me at my desk working on my spreadsheet of crazy, I mean baby, and is impressed but also too tired to focus on it now. I hear him calmly explain to the kitten that he can’t join him in the shower but he isn’t entirely successful.
We get into bed and P puts headphones in so I can drift off faster (or because I threatened more Ambulance UK? We’ll never know!).
Total: $234.95 (pending MR)
Sunday:
4am
And I’m up early again, my passenger is apparently an early riser these days which leads to me looking down and asking for more sleep “pleeeeease!” I try 37 positions and try to get comfy before finally drifting off again.
8am
I steal P’s dressing gown (mine’s now got an awkward gap due to the bump) and start the coffee process, the kitten joins me after finding a piece of plastic to pinball around the kitchen with, I am not coordinated enough these days to dodge him so I remove him and plastic to the living room.
I’m craving an egg muffin so I cook some sausages, eggs and toast english muffins and enjoy a mindless tiktok scroll while I eat.
12pm
I’m surprisingly tired after doing nothing all morning and head back to bed for a nap. I really hope the tiredness isn’t a sign my illness from last week is back! I’ve got a support group meeting in a few hours so I set an alarm.
2pm
I join the support group Zoom and immediately hear about how many people are sick or recovering from some flu or cold thing. There’s a lot of bugs going around at the moment! I meet some new people who have the same disorder or same ‘family’ of disorders as me and I update the group on my pregnancy journey. I really bond with 2 of the new ladies and I offer my email up to both to keep in touch before next week’s meeting.
5pm
I’m happily browsing Facebook Marketplace for baby things when Mum calls, she’s been shopping for baby (uh oh) and is excited to tell me about it. Amazingly she’s bought a bedside bassinet very similar to the one I was planning on buying secondhand and a safari themed lamp for the nursery. She’s also ended up with a high chair for their house on the coast and a bunch of themed fabric for swaddles, pillows, etc.
Total: 0.00 thanks Mum!
Monday
7am
I wake with my alarm for once, which would be odd except for how awful I feel. I end up deciding to call in sick, the flu thing that knocked me around until early last week appears to be back. Pregnancy means lots of cold/flu meds etc are not an option so I can’t soldier on. I alert my manager, set my team up with urgent tasks, chuck my OOO on and crawl back into bed.
A few things debit like SMH and Youtube (accounted for in monthly expenses above)
10am
I open my phone to a flurry of emails on my personal account, OH! It’s healthcare cover day! We have finished all our waiting periods and the beacons are lit! Let the floodgates of services and information begin! Our hospital and health fund both email to welcome me to their online learning platforms.
11am
A nice lady from our health fund calls to give me the spiel. I'd normally be wary about what all these amazing services are going to cost, but it’s all covered! She tells me about the learning platform (Nourish), the sleep clinic calls I’ll get after the baby's arrival and the welcome pack I’m going to be mailed. I get my login details as soon as we hangup, another fun thing to explore tonight once I’m feeling human again.
P is amused by how excited I am for all this information, he does caution me against over planning/over researching which is something I’ve been working on with my psych. I struggle to find a good balance between planning for problems and over planning to the point of stress. It’s a work in progress. I suspect I’ll always have issues with control/over planning.
4pm
I’ve napped most of the day, dealt with 1 urgent work issue and am now getting access to the hospital’s learning platform (Cradle). I'm grateful they’re short 5-7 minute long videos so put some on the iPad while I make tea and toast before deciding to tackle the nursery again.
7pm
Mum calls about more baby things - they’ve bought me a change table!? I’m slightly annoyed then I’m thrilled - it’s a brand I like that’s normally $400 ish for $30 at auction yesterday (a Sunday afternoon family hobby). They've just collected it, they’re going to sand and paint it for me in a nice green for the safari nursery. Another thing ticked off the baby spreadsheet.
Dinner tonight was heated up leftovers, I’m too tired for cooking.
Hmm blood pressure is high, I hope this is just sickness related and log it in my app.
8pm
Bed time! Despite sleeping all day I am exhausted and pass out almost immediately.
Total: 0.00 thanks again Mum!
Tuesday
11am
I’m in the office however I cannot tell you what I’ve done today, it’s all a blur and when I sit down with my ipad to make notes for this money diary my brain goes blank. I scroll through my sent emails and can see I’ve sent 26 emails (herding a difficult vendor, setting up meetings for later in the week, submitting my sick leave for yesterday and setting up a new starter orientation). I make another coffee and realise the mini fridge hasn’t been restocked (because I am the one that stocks it each week sigh). I jump online and do a grocery order - yogurt, cheese, salami, tomato paste, sliced bread, babybel cheese, apples and several juices) (52.00) it’s due in next 2 hours.
1pm
I make myself toasted sandwiches and try not to eat the entire packet of babybel. My work lunch group tells hilarious stories from their level of the office and it’s a nice escape from my level’s workload.
2pm
I send off my psychiatrist's referral for my private postpartum care stay (1-3 weeks long) and check it’s all covered with my health care fund (it is!). The private place I’ll be staying at calls me to check in, advise me of next steps and to give me my tentative booking date of 1 week after birth. I’ve got a spare 20 mins so do my intake assessment with them over the phone and get the all clear to be accepted in a few weeks. I’ll get another assessment 2-4 days after I give birth just to make sure I’m still a good candidate. I look over the welcome pack, what to bring lists and advice on partner overnight stays that all hit my email when I hang up. I forward the relevant bits to P and jump back into work.
5pm
An afternoon of meetings meant I did no deep/focus work or work on my handover, but I accept that and move on. I top up my Opal card for the week (50.00) via the app and it’s loaded by the time I’m tapping on the train. I’d normally account for this in the expenses up top but my train trips are very sporadic right now due to pregnancy waddle, so I’ve been carpooling with coworkers and P has been collecting me if his shifts line up along with the occasional UbeShebah.
5.15pm
I’m pinged regarding a site issue and it looks like the site is down. I jump on via my phone and iPad while on the train, I also start my time tracker for out of hours work. I scrap the conference call between my team and the vendor at 6pm and instruct the site to rollover to fallback mode, my team member gets them online again. I email my manager a quick update and switch back to tiktok scrolling. I’m really enjoying not having to fight for a seat most train trips now since I’m so visibly pregnant!
6.30pm
P meets me at the station again, is horrified that I’m dragging 3 books, several cups to wash, my coat (I overheated on the train) and my iPad around in multiple bags, he snatches it all and we start the walk home.
He’s made bolognese and it is the best smell to walk into after a cold day! I smother mine in cheese and prop my feet up to depuff. Then I puppy dog eyes at him and he agrees to Ambulance UK, we’re now in the London seasons and I’m loving the big city vibes. He still cringes at the medical sounds, but takes the time to explain how these patients would be treated at his hospital after their ambulance trips. I enjoy his commentary and it adds a background I would never normally know about.
8pm
I take my blood pressure and it’s high for the 2nd night, I’m a bit concerned but trying not to stress. It’s not 160/100 aka get your butt to ED but it’s still over normal. I log it in my health app and make a note to monitor it and call the OB if it’s up again tomorrow.
I message a friend about his opinion of epidurals (since he does them all day) and ask for the dumbed down reality check, he’s been an amazing support this pregnancy so I know he’ll give me a great answer, and he replies back with all the pros/cons as well as the common issues and how they get fixed. He reminds me to ask my OB since I’ve got pregnancy hypertension, it’s likely I would almost benefit from that common side effect and I make a note in my phone to ask at the next appointment.
Total: $102.00
Wednesday
5am
Coffee, kitten pats, older cat snuggles and then a small cry because I forgot to wash my preferred pregnancy leggings. I thankfully remember I’ve got an onsite vendor meeting today so don’t dress like a potato! I still wear Stan Smith’s but a cute knit dress and scarf up top so I look presentable. I bathe in embryolisse cream after washing my face (fun pregnancy fact - you can develop dry skin patches that make you look like a lizard!) and actually put some makeup on (Charlotte Tilbury base, YSL touche elcat, innisfree powder, lancome mascara and CT blush) followed by Replica’s By the Fireplace perfume. Ready for battle!
7am
On the train scrolling through the morning reports, I’m relieved to see all systems are reporting green after a few small hiccups yesterday. I move onto discord and catch up the overnight conversations in bump group.
9am
Quick catchup with my team and then I spend the morning preparing for the big cross time zone/country catch up with all IT team leads also updating my WIP tracker. I obviously then forget to save it and rage stomp off to the kitchen to make conciliation coffee.
I rage shop for KitchenAid accessories but don’t actually buy anything and my manager comforts me over teams.
12pm
I’m wrapping up in person site meetings to see a bunch of messages from P, he’s grocery shopping and querying baby wipe brands. (One of the best tips I got was to buy a pack of nappies and wipes each grocery trip to build your stockpile so it’s not such a shock, since newborns go through 10 nappies a day!). I reply but I’m a bit late and he finishes in Aldi, Coles and the butchers for the next fortnight (389.23). I’m getting very over this cost of living price increase on basic things like milk. He’s a smart shopper so I know that he didn’t overdo it.
3pm
I’ve taken my blood pressure a few times today and it keeps coming back high. I ring the OB’s office and book in for tomorrow morning (spoiler: my blood pressure meds are increased and I’m asked to check in with my pregnancy nephrologist sooner)
4pm
What the hell is this debit? Oh it’s the meal delivery service I forgot to suspend this week, guess we’re going to be a bit overstocked on food this week. I’m just going to class this as idiot/baby brain tax. (69.95)
5pm
P collects me and I have a small cry in the carpark, he’s had the baby capsule installed and driven to collect me with it so I can see it. Things are starting to feel very real now! I practice removing it and carrying it up to the apartment when we get home.
Leftover bolognese for dinner and we do separate screen time. I head to my computer after a bit to review my spreadsheet, since P has smashed out a bunch of things today in Baby Bunting. Nappy bin, capsule + install and baby bath are all ticked off! I get the receipts off our emails to log the costs (375.16)
7pm
Mexican bowls for dinner and we decide to try out the new RPA reboot that’s recently come back to TV (from the 90s!). I honestly hate every minute of it, the talking heads are really cringe and after the gritty realism of Ambulance UK (and Nurses Down Under) I can’t cope with it. We switch over to Ambulance UK after 1 episode and discuss deleting the rest. I was also really disappointed by how “doctor focussed” it was to the point where the nurses and allied health professionals (physios, ambos, etc) were cut out of certain shots, but you could still see their hands or shoes, that’s just not reality in Australian healthcare they’re the people patients see 90% of the time! Okay getting off my soapbox now.
8pm
I start my out of hours tracker and handle an issue for a site 3 hours behind me, in the end the onsite team and I get our part done, one of the vendors does not. We decide to tackle it tomorrow and a flick off a complaint to our account manage regarding this vendor rep. I notice a few of my counterparts are all in a teams call in their timezone and realise they must be cutting over a new system since it’s so late their time. I make a note to not bother them first thing tomorrow since they’ll likely all be start late.
9pm
Yep blood pressure is still high, so I’m glad I’ve got the appointment booked for the first thing tomorrow. P takes it for me twice just in case I’m doing something wrong with the cuff but unfortunately it’s still high. I’ve finished my new pregnancy book and I would recommend it to any Aussie mums or dads to be out there, P even flicks through it.
Why are both cats trying to sit on me? Oh we forgot to feed them! I sort them out and all is well again in their world.
10pm
My glorious bed calls me to me and I bundle myself up in the blankets, scroll through tiktok and happy cry at birth videos.
Total: 834.34
END SCENE
Weekly Total: $3749.20
Food + Drink: 589.09
Fun / Entertainment: 0.00
Home + Health: 2720.00
Clothes + Beauty: 14.95
Transport: 50.00
Other (Baby): 375.16
REFLECTION:
Besides the health care costs, this is a pretty normal week for me! I’m obviously thrilled to hit the Medicare max as this makes things so much easier with health care costs. I feel really relieved to know all my future costs are being covered by private health or what isn't is at a higher rebate now. Seeing my hospital estimate last week (before private health covers 95%) was really confronting and made me briefly reconsider my choice to go private, but the things that are now covered by health fund are amazing and worth nearly $30k over the first 3 months of the baby's life (especially if we end up needing special care nursery).
I’m pretty impressed about how many wtf and ffs I say in real life that I’ve removed from this diary. I find the Aussie approach to swearing can be a bit relaxed haha, so I did my best for you guys!
The impact of the baby brain is very real, aside from mental blanks at work, I had to check things like my subscriptions and ask P a few times, since so much of it is bpay and auto-debit, I don’t pay attention to it! There’s a few charges we have always had historically like tolls and ubereats that we’ve cut way back over the past few months.
I'm also considering a "what it costs to have a private baby in Aus" as well as a follow up in a few months once I've settled into Maternity Leave life (minimum wage, not my current salary) because tracking was fascinating and I'm a data hoarder.
Happy to answer any questions in the comments if I've explained something poorly.

Complete beginner, I had never swung a club besides 2 trips to Top Golf until 2 months ago.
Buddy sold me his hand-me-down Ping i3 irons and a G20 driver. Bought a new putter. Bought a modern but used 3w off facebook marketplace (G425 MAX for 100, which i thought was a great deal considering online prices).
So here's my question: I still mega-suck and have no intention of even doing anything beyond range practice (and getting a lesson or 2) for a long while. Are the i3's and the G20 going to hold me back because they are dated or are they just fine for someone starting out?
Have a feeling i'm just fine and I could be swinging rocks taped to rebar at this point, but I don't have a lot of free time and I just want assurance i'm not adding insult to injury by playing with 20 year old irons etc.
Thanks guys!

I recently ordered a dedicated server from Hetzner. The server came with a single IP address. However, since I want to run multiple game servers on this server, I purchased an additional IP and a /28 subnet to use for this purpose.
To enable virtualization of the game servers, I chose to use VMware's ESXi. I installed ESXi on the server using KVM.
Here are some examples of the IPs I'm using (not my actual IPs):

• IP 1: 136.222.46.52 -> Currently, this IP is being used by ESXi. I plan to bind ESXi to a local address in the future and allow access only through a VPN connection.
• IP 2: 136.222.46.44 -> This IP is being used as the WAN by the installed Pfsense.
• Subnet: 140.79.142.98 -> I have configured this subnet as a virtual IP (Proxy ARP) using Pfsense and routed it to a local LAN via 1:1 NAT.
• Gateway for both individual IPs: 136.222.46.1

Now, going into more detail about the setup, to operate an ESXi server with multiple IPs at Hetzner, it is necessary to set up a router VM. ESXi doesn't act as a router itself but supports bridging functionality. (See Hetzner VMWare ESXi and Hetzner additional IPs with virtualization solutions).
I have reviewed various guides and tutorials and started configuring the setup. Firstly, I created a virtual switch named "subnet0" in ESXi. Then, I added two port groups: "public" (formerly VMNetwork, for WAN) and "private" (for LAN). Afterwards, I manually assigned a single IP address to the router VM based on the MAC address provided by Hetzner. I then started the router and configured the interfaces. The WAN network operates with IP-2, while the LAN network uses the 10.0.0.0/24 range.
So far, everything has been working fine. Next, I entered the subnet as a virtual IP in the firewall (e.g., 140.79.142.99) and proceeded with 1:1 NAT. I redirected individual IPs from the subnet to a Windows machine I installed alongside. The machine received its local IP address. To verify this, I visited an IP-checking website, which displayed the correct IP from the subnet. Afterwards, I attempted to set up a Minecraft server for a colleague. I downloaded the server files and performed the basic setup using the .bat file for starting the server.
Now, we've encountered a problem. When I try to start the server, regardless of the port I use, it notifies me that the port is already in use. Even when I set up port forwarding in Pfsense, I cannot successfully release the port. Additionally, I haven't been able to ping the server from outside. Maybe someone here has more experience with Pfsense or even the combination of Hetzner and ESXi.
I'm currently at a loss and unable to find any further solutions online, so I wanted to ask for help here. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, please let me know. If you need screenshots or any additional information, please don't hesitate to ask. Also, I apologize if anything is unclear; my brain is a bit fried at the moment.

No one is always a liar and no one is always corrupt. Everything is a situation.
Sgt. Jerry Martens, NYPD Blue S3 E8.
I don’t know what it is about NYPD Blue, but recalling some key quotes has the effect of clearing mental logjams in my head. People and issues are complex. Treating them as binary will make it impossible to truly understand what happened. Yep, these are the new and hopefully improved versions on the quartet of posts titled "Pathetic" that I took down a couple of weeks ago. I wrote them and posted without giving too much thought to flow, organization and potential impact. They were too long and complex for most to digest. So what do I do? I make the post even longer by expanding it into a six-parter, but hopefully with better context to give the narrative a stronger logical foundation. I also needed to take a beat and balance the importance of the information against the effect it could have on real people--particularly Hae Min Lee's family.
For those who lack patience and curiosity, this post can be distilled down to: Adnan participated in the murder of Hae Min Lee. The police and prosecutors fabricated evidence to secure a conviction of first degree murder. Jay Wilds is owed the world’s biggest apology. What follows demonstrates the absurdity of identifying as a "guilter" or an "innocenter."
If you want to understand the who, what, where, when, why and how, along with the supporting evidence, you have to read the rest. If you choose to stop here, that is entirely understandable. This post is definitely not for everyone. It requires tapping into your intellect more than your emotions. TLDR works for certain things like the weather or the outcome of an NBA game. If you are reading this post, I assume that you spent at least 8.5 hours listening to the Serial podcast. Leaving aside the amount of misinformation packed into that program, what else did you consume? Rabia Chaurdry’s book? The several hours of her own podcast on this case? Her blog? Her tweets? The 4 hour HBO documentary? If you spent dozens of hours being lied to and expect a three sentence explanation, you are asking to be lied to some more. This is not me providing a caveat for this post as much as lamenting how the TLDR mentality and expectation resulted in our being increasingly uninformed.
The MPIA page cites are truncated so if the page number is MPIA 15 459 231-263, the shortened version reads as MPIA 231-263. The trial transcript cites are in a format where 8:12-16 means page 8, lines 12-16. I think that I indicate each time I include mock transcript exchanges, but to avoid any doubt, if I do not provide a specific transcript cite, I am taking creative license with a mock discussion. If I missed linking any MPIA cites please use the page number provided and look them up yourself.

One in Six Billion

Let’s begin with something about which we can all agree. In the 24 years since Hae Min Lee was murdered, there has only been one single witness who has come forward claiming to have personal knowledge about Adnan Syed’s role in the crime. It is important for us to ponder this fact for a moment. It has not simply been 24 years. A little over eight years ago this case became a global phenomenon. Millions of people became fascinated through the storytelling of Sarah Koenig. It made celebrities out of Adnan and Rabia Chaudry, his most outspoken advocate and sister of his best friend, Saad. It propelled Asia McClain from anonymity to a household name with a book deal. It destroyed what was left of the reputation of the late Cristina Gutierrez, the attorney who represented Adnan during his trial. It dragged individuals like Jay Wilds and Don Clinedinst into the spotlight despite their efforts to avoid it and move on with their lives. It reopened the wounds of Hae’s family and forced them into an inescapable and permanent nightmare. This time, however, it was worse because the man convicted of murdering Hae was celebrated by millions as a victim of injustice.
The most remarkable thing that occurred in the wake of the Serial Podcast was not its wild popularity. It was not the fact that it was discussed by almost anyone with an internet connection. It was not the broadcast media awards that its creators collected. It was not the millions paid by the New York Times to acquire the program. Even after the case invaded the consciousness of millions of people, one thing did not change. The only witness claiming to have personal knowledge of Adnan Syed being involved in the murder of Hae Min Lee is still Jay Wilds. No one who upon listening to the podcast recalled having seen something suspicious going on at the Best Buy on January 13, 1999. No one among Adnan’s classmates or friends from his mosque to whom he let it slip that he was responsible for Hae’s murder. None of the inmates with whom Adnan was imprisoned said a word reflecting Adnan mentioning what he allegedly did. For those who are certain of Adnan’s guilt and believe that he acted alone, this should be acknowledged as a remarkable level of discipline demonstrated by a 17-year-old. They talk of this being a garden variety crime and Adnan being a typical stupid teenager who screwed up. If that were the case, a lot more people would have come forward--especially in the last eight years.
The tipster who called on February 12, 1999 did not claim to have any specific knowledge, only suspicions. Jay’s friend, Ernest, told their neighbor Laura that he saw Hae’s body in the trunk of a car. Laura told her father who subsequently reported it to the police. When the cops questioned Ernest, he denied any such knowledge. For those who forgot what it’s like to be a teenager, that was Ernest trying to impress Laura with something that Jay told him. It sounded better for Ernest to tell Laura that he saw this interesting thing first-hand instead of telling her that he heard it from Jay. Jennifer Pusateri never claimed to have any first-hand knowledge and acknowledges that everything she knew was from Jay. Others in Jay and Jen’s circle learned of what Adnan had done to Hae, but the source always traced back to a single person: Jay.
Teenagers are not typically capable of that degree of discipline because they simply cannot be expected to keep that type of secret. Seriously though…of the roughly 6 billion people who were on our planet in 1999, only one fucking person had knowledge of the crime committed by this 17-year-old? Thus, it is tempting to assume that Jay’s story is bullshit. I can understand these arguments and seeing Adnan as an extremely unlucky victim of countless shitty circumstances.
It is not my place to sit in judgment over Adnan. That has already happened when the jury rendered a verdict, notwithstanding the politically motivated clusterfuck that was the motion to vacate. My goal in writing this is to provide an understanding of what happened in this case. My certainty of the role that Adnan played in Hae’s murder does not make him guilty. Fuck any small-minded person who feels compelled to slap me with the reductive and idiotic label of “guilter.” I, like most people with eyes and a brain, am also certain that OJ Simpson was responsible for murdering his ex and her lover. But I am also certain that the jury got the verdict right when they acquitted him. Regardless of how they rationalize it, the cops and prosecutors are not allowed to frame someone they have prejudged as guilty. In OJ’s case, the evidence against him was challenged in real time by his “Dream Team.” In Adnan’s case, despite having 24 years, his “Latrine Team” are blind to the obvious evidence that was fabricated against him. Instead, they make up fantasies that are untethered from anything resembling the truth or common sense.
This will be long because I do not simply want to tell you shit that I expect you to believe. I want to give you the courtesy of understanding what happened and why. It takes some doing to explain all this. There are so many lies that were told by all sides that it is insane to even attempt to separate the lies from the truth in a coherent way. I’m sorry, but unpacking more than two decades of lies is not something that can be summarized in a fucking tweet. Rabia Chaudry’s book on this case that is packed with false and misleading information is 416 pages long. Add to that the original 12-part podcast largely consisting of Sarah Koenig getting conned by team Adnan. Let's not forget the 4-part HBO documentary grounded in false and misleading information. Then, of course, there is the actual evidence in the form of the 2000+ page police file, the parts of the defense file that team Adnan didn’t shred and thousands of pages of briefs, trial and hearing transcripts. You expect me to distill all that into a few sentences? Fuck you. Stop reading now, give me your downvotes and make your witless comment quoting Polonius from Hamlet about brevity. Better yet, join ShakespeareMemes and give the bard some shit about how he should have condensed the Henriad into a sonnet. You want something short? Take a copy of Goodnight Moon and shove it up your ass. I think Tolstoy said that. It sounds more elegant in the original Russian.

Prisms

There are multiple prisms through which this case can be viewed. A true understanding of what really happened will never be achieved by relying on a one-sided perspective gained by viewing the case through a single prism. Doing so will always result in your seeing a kaleidoscope of possibilities with several loose ends for which there is no accounting. This leads to endless speculation and creation of random narratives to make a few pieces fit. These speculative narratives always fall apart under a modicum of scrutiny. If, however, you take the multiple prisms and combine them, the noise falls away and you are left with a single, clear image: The police and prosecutors successfully framed one of the criminals who participated in the murder of Hae Min Lee.
Of the many prisms through which this case can be viewed, we will focus on the four big ones: Of course, there is the prism of the evidence that was actually presented at trial through which Adnan was found guilty. Conversely, there is the prism that kicked off the Serial podcast wherein Adnan ostensibly had a rock-solid alibi that his supposedly bumbling attorney failed to use. Then there is the prism wherein Adnan was framed by the police who used Jay Wilds as their patsy. Finally, there is the prism of Hae’s murder being the plot masterminded by Adnan’s mentor, Bilal Ahmed.
So many lies have been told by all sides involved in this case. The lies did not begin with the Serial Podcast. They began from the day that the plot to murder Hae was conceived. The lies have layers upon layers that make uncovering the truth nearly impossible. Distinguishing the lies from the truth is possible if you allow yourself to see the case simultaneously through multiple prisms.
We have a natural tendency to gravitate toward one perspective or another. Whether we embrace a polarizing world view or not, that is how information is presented to us these days. Like we are children who are incapable of thinking for ourselves. We are encouraged to draw lines. We are to either believe that Adnan is a murderer or he was framed and unjustly imprisoned. Everything is black or white. We are either liberal or conservative. Add to that the nature of social media that thrives on vilifying those who hold an opposing point of view. Because outrage and conflict generate more clicks, which is the currency that drives our discourse. It drives us to attack one another with insults. Lib-tard or, i dunno, Fox viewer. Liberals were never as good at coming up with derogatory names. That’s saying a lot given how shitty conservatives are at it themselves. Consider the inelegant combination of “liberal” and “retard.” Liberals handcuff themselves with political correctness making them blind to the fact that “conservatard” or “Republitard” flow much more naturally. Anyway, I digress. Embracing such meaningless labels is an insult to our intelligence. Our need to make complex issues binary and align with one side or the other blinds us to obvious truths that could help us find common ground. We must remove these obstacles to escape the ideological entrenchment that prevents us from achieving a meaningful understanding of the issues.
It probably sounds like I'm saying that I'm above all that shit, but I'm not. Once I became aware of the lies coming from Team Adnan, I only saw their lies. The inconsistencies in Jay's story and the police investigation did not bother me. I saw evidence that unequivocally proved to me that I had been duped by a bunch of con artists. The Asia alibi that had us all outraged was a fraud. The fraudulent alibi had nothing to do with lies that originated with Jay or the police. It came from Adnan. "Fuck him," I thought. He's not my client. He was a kid with whom I identified and wanted to help.
But then while piecing together how the crime likely went down, other lies started presenting themselves. Lies told by the police and prosecutors in building their case against Adnan. These are different than the lies that form the basis of alleged misconduct that is argued by Team Adnan. It is easy to miss because Jay Wilds was the instrument used to push the lies told by the police and prosecutors. This can be proven with more substantive evidence that audible taps during Jay's recorded statements. But make no mistake: Jay is not the villain here. Making Jay the villain is easy. Understanding that he is the biggest victim in this case after Hae Min Lee is more complicated, but that is what will be explained in these posts.
It would be so much easier to explain all this if the lies told by Team Adnan and the lies told by the police and prosecutors were independent of one another. I would love to say that if I saw the police/prosecutor lies first, I would have been entrenched in the belief that Adnan did not commit the crime. I wish that I could extend that olive branch to those who identify as "innocenters." Unfortunately, the lies depend on one another wherein you can only understand the frame up if you are able to accept the truth that Adnan was involved in Hae's murder. That is particularly frustrating to me because distilling the truth from the mass tangle of lies in each prism is already a bitch. Accepting that Adnan was framed for a crime that he actually committed is easier for those who already see him as a murderer. It is a particularly heavy lift for those who identify as “innocenters.” It requires being open to and accepting some uncomfortable truths. Regardless of how I may have come across in my previous posts, I do not look down on those who identify as partisans who believe in Adnan’s innocence. I respect your optimism and desire to support the unjustly imprisoned. Your well-intentioned support for the innocent was preyed upon by Team Adnan. The anger in my writing comes from having been duped myself by these charlatans. There is no shame in advocating for an individual whom you sincerely believe was unjustly imprisoned. The only ones who should be ashamed are those who seek to take advantage of our better angels for their cynical purposes. That said, we should address the difficult truth that Adnan was, in fact, involved in the murder of Hae Min Lee.
​

The Uncomfortable Truth

My previous posts HERE and HERE discuss how the Asia letters were fabricated and why. I did not emphasize enough that the letters were also an admission of Adnan’s participation in Hae’s murder. At the time of my earliest post, I incorrectly assumed that he and his inner circle subverted the grand jury proceedings exclusively to improperly extract information about the state's theory of Hae's time of death. Although that may be part of what was going on, it was mostly Bilal Ahmed attempting to stage manage the proceedings because, as you will see in the next section, that is who he is.
Remember that the police had already given up to Adnan the identity of who ratted him out. It was the "black guy who puts pins through his mouth." App-071. That meant that Adnan had to cover his time before he saw Jay after school on January 13, 1999. Information from the grand jury may have served to confirm that the window of time for when the murder occurred according to the state was consistent with what Bilal and Adnan knew happened.
Most people who know some of the details surrounding the letters know that they were fabricated. If you do not, I suggest reviewing the posts linked at the beginning of this paragraph. But fabricating an alibi is something that can be explained away as the act of someone desperately trying to prove their innocence. Making up an alibi doesn’t necessarily prove that Adnan was involved in the murder. It was the timing that is underscored in each letter that serves as the admission of Adnan’s involvement.
Asia claims in her letters that she saw Adnan immediately after school. She specifically provided the time of 2:15 PM. Four years ago, I took a lot of shit for suggesting that the timing of Hae’s murder could not have been known by an innocent person on March 1, 1999. Especially when her body was not found until a month after she was last seen alive. So many hindsight spewing people with their heads appropriately up their ass declared with unearned certainty that everyone knew that Hae was murdered right after school. We know that is factually incorrect because Adnan’s own lawyers did not know the state’s theory of when Hae was murdered. They had to petition the court to compel the prosecution to provide that information. While demanding this information, Cristina Gutierrez’s letter dated July 7, 1999 specifically states:
“Defendant can’t possibly mount a defense or determine if an alibi disclosure is needed without being on notice of the alleged time of death.” (emphasis added).
Yes. Assuming that Adnan was innocent, no one could be working on an alibi until they knew Hae’s time of death. If that was not enough, we now have prosecutor Kevin Urick’s notes that were recently disclosed with information that he received from Bilal Ahmed’s ex-wife. In the wake of the news of Hae’s body being found, Bilal’s ex said that Bilal and Adnan talked about the police’s ability to determine the time of death. They also asked Bilal’s ex, who is a physician, about her experience in determining the time of death. That was on February 11, 1999–one month after Hae was last seen alive. Seventeen days before Adnan was arrested. We know it was February 11th because Hae’s body was found on February 9, she was identified on February 10th and the first news reports to the public of her body being found were on the 11th. The Baltimore Sun, February 12, 1999, pg. 8C. We also have Adnan’s cell record wherein his phone was pinging the tower near Bilal’s house located at 2915 Chestnut Hill Drive during the evening of the 11th. This address info is publicly available in Bilal’s 1999 divorce proceedings.
Then magically, there are two letters from Asia that provide Adnan with an alibi that are purportedly dated four months before an innocent Adnan would know the timing for when he needed one. While the actual dates that the fabricated letters were written is unclear, they predated the state’s July 8, 1999 disclosure of its theory for when Hae was murdered. We know that Gutierrez visited Adnan in prison two days later on July 10, 1999 to discuss potential alibis following the state’s disclosure. That is the date of Gutierrez’s suspiciously undated handwritten notes referring to Asia that were found in the defense file. Team Adnan had a penchant for selectively disclosing info from the defense file that was helpful and almost certainly shredded anything in the file that hurt Adnan’s case.
Remember. This was not a case where Hae left school and a shot rang out on January 13, 1999 at 2:20 PM and her dead body was found at 2:21 PM. She was last seen alive at 2:15 PM and her body was not found until four weeks later. The window for when she was murdered was wide open. The way alibis work in cases like this is as follows. The suspect waits for the police investigation to determine the time of the murder. The suspect is then presented with the relevant time frame. The suspect then considers whether he has anyone who can vouch for his time. In this case, Adnan had the alibi all lined up before conclusions were made regarding Hae's time of death. He then sat there drumming his fingers waiting to be confronted with the time that the state believed Hae was murdered. Upon finally being asked to account for himself, he had his prefabricated alibi. Prefabricated alibis are admissions.
There is also the police interview of Adnan’s friend, Ja’uan Gordon, who told the police about Asia’s letters in April of 1999. MPIA 912. Specifically, Ja’uan indicated that Adnan sent Asia a letter that she was supposed to transcribe and send back as her own. Team Adnan tried to “fix” Ja’uan’s statement by having him revise history 17 years later through an affidavit. It claims that the letter solicited from Asia was for letters of support attesting to his character in advance of Adnan’s bail hearing. Thus, even though there already instruction sheets for writing such letters circulating at Woodlawn High where Asia was a student wherein several students were tasked with collecting the letters (MPIA 1178), we are expected to believe that Adnan sent a special letter to Asia personally asking for her support. Did Asia ever even write Adnan a letter of support for his bail hearing? According to Asia, no. Asia admitted on the record in 2016--around the same time as Ja'uan's delayed affidavit--that the only letters she wrote were the two alibi letters. PCR Transcript, 2/4/2016 at 43:18-20.
We have not even discussed how Adnan and his family went out of their way to prove on the record that Asia’s alleged visit to the family home on March 1, 1999 never happened. You can read about that in more detail HERE where they also prove that their allegation that the information from Asia’s letters was immediately shared with Cristina Gutierrez was a demonstrable lie. If you have evidence at your disposal that proves that anything in the preceding paragraphs is factually incorrect, please share. Otherwise, it’s ok to finally acknowledge that Team Adnan has lied to you. Your support and attention should be directed to those who deserve it.
While you come to grips with the unpleasant truth, rest assured that your belief that Adnan was framed is grounded in facts. Note, however, that it is not based on the bullshit that Team Adnan has been trying to sell. Nor does it resemble the silly arguments found in the motion to vacate when the Baltimore prosecutor's office was run by Marilyn Mosby who was desperately trying to distract attention from her federal indictment. The police/prosectuor conspiracy is not as broad and comprehensive as many believe, but it is more insidious and depraved that you can imagine. The police investigation was not completely an exercise in bad faith. They resorted to fabricating evidence when they realized that they had nowhere to go. To understand the predicament in which the police found themselves, you need to understand how Bilal Ahmed operates. A foundation in understanding Bilal’s twisted mind and his relationship with Adnan sheds light on how the plot to murder Hae was supposed to go down, how it did go down and, most importantly, how Jay Wilds was wantonly and recklessly used by almost everyone involved in this case.
​

Entering the Mind of a Monster

This discipline and secrecy that resulted in Jay being the only witness claiming to have personal knowledge of the crimes committed by Adnan is beyond the capability of even the most devious 17-year-old. It came from Bilal Ahmed. The ridiculous discipline that was required to minimize the number of witnesses is a testament to Bilal’s meticulous nature. The only reason that the prosecution even had Jay was because Adnan deviated from Bilal’s plot. Had Adnan stuck to Bilal’s plan, there would not have been any material witnesses testifying against Adnan.
Thanks to Urick’s recently leaked notes, many of you have caught up to the idea that Bilal Ahmed played a role in the murder of Hae Min Lee. But then I see all the ridiculous theories that Bilal acted alone. Or that Bilal worked with Jay. Or that Bilal used one of those space lasers that exist only in the thing between Marjorie Taylor Green’s ears that neurologists mistake for a brain to blast Hae to death. Slow down. There is no need to treat this like toddler soccer where everyone, including the goalies, chase the ball around the field. We must disabuse ourselves of these false assumptions. Bilal did not work with Jay, communicate with Jay or have any direct connection with Jay. That demonstrates a degree of carelessness that is absent in Bilal’s DNA. Nor did Bilal carefully have Hae murdered without Adnan’s participation or knowledge. Anyone who thinks otherwise does not understand Bilal and the facts of this case.
It is important to pause here and note the ridiculously close relationship between Bilal and Adnan for those who are not familiar. Bilal has known Adnan since the latter was 11 years old. After Adnan was arrested, he told the detectives that he wanted to speak with Bilal. Bilal was Adnan’s first call from jail. Bilal hired the lawyers who were calling the police department within an hour of Adnan’s arrest. Bilal organized the local Islamic community’s fundraising efforts to cover the cost of Adnan’s defense. Bilal hired Cristina Gutierrez to represent himself when he testified before the grand jury and subsequently had Gutierrez take over Adnan’s defense. From his arrest through early October 1999, Bilal visited Adnan in prison more than any person who was not a member of Adnan’s family or legal team. When Bilal himself was arrested in mid October 1999 for criminal sexual conduct with a minor, he had a photo of Adnan in his wallet. That’s all I can remember off the top of my head. That’s the guy you heard almost nothing about in the original podcast.
I’m not saying this to gloat, but when I concluded a few years ago that Bilal was the mastermind behind the plot to murder Hae Min Lee, I was not just throwing anything at the wall to see what sticks. I was not making a wild guess and got lucky like I filled out a fluke NCAA bracket. I wasted a shitload of time analyzing the evidence and studying how Bilal operated. He is an extremely careful criminal. That explains how he was able to evade capture for nearly two decades despite his preying on children, his dental patients, US taxpayers (bilking Medicaid), etc. He does an excellent job covering his tracks. His problem was his tendency to go way over the top while doing so. This manifests through his concocting overly complicated plots and, in the case of Hae’s murder, going to extreme lengths to give himself plausible deniability by not getting his hands dirty. Thus, even if the cops suspect him, as they did in this case, they do not have enough evidence to charge him. Recall that Bilal’s cell records were subpoenaed around the time Adnan was formally indicted on April 13, 1999. On the surface, Bilal’s cell records did not give the cops enough to make him a suspect in the conspiracy to murder Hae. You have to go a few levels deeper to understand the game Bilal was playing.
It’s helpful to examine some of examples of Bilal’s extreme risk aversion and theatrics to understand why he would never have Jay knowingly participate in the plot to murder Hae. Let’s begin by reviewing the steps Bilal took regarding the phone that he purchased for Adnan.

• Bilal was letting Adnan use one of his (at least) three cell phones before Hae’s murder. We know this because of Adnan’s friend, Peter Billingsly’s, police interview. Peter said that Adnan was using a Sprint phone before he got the AT&T phone. God bless Peter for specifying the carrier name because Bilal’s three lines are on Sprint. Checking Bilal’s records shows that there was a call placed to Peter around the time Adnan picked up the new phone that Bilal purchased for him. Thus, it is established that Adnan was using one of Bilal’s phones immediately before Hae was last seen alive.
• I stated in previous posts that Bilal did not want to risk using one of his phones in the plot in case things went south. It’s bad enough that Bilal purchased a new phone for Adnan immediately before Hae’s murder. It looks even more suspicious that Bilal was allowing Adnan to use one of his Sprint phones and suddenly decided that Adnan should have one of his own. That’s pretty huge and something that neither Adnan nor his surrogates ever addressed.
• We know that Adnan’s AT&T phone was purchased on January 11, 1999 by Bilal and that Adnan went with Peter the next day to pick it up. Because Bilal needs everything to be a ridiculously complicated cloak and dagger production, he went to the AT&T store separate from Adnan to create distance from himself (Bilal) and the purchase of the AT&T phone. Because Bilal is not always as smart as he thinks he is, he didn’t realize that purchasing the phone for Adnan would require the account to be under Bilal’s own name, which is splashed across the top (second page of PDF) of Adnan’s cell phone bill. Thus, all that secret agent bullshit was for naught.
• After Adnan’s arrest, Bilal knew it looked very bad that he purchased the AT&T phone for Adnan immediately before Hae was last seen alive. Thus, Bilal used Yasar Ali (I’m not re-writing that shit) whom he called before Yaser’s police interview and likely told him to tell the cops that Bilal and Adnan had been shopping for a phone for months–which Yasar did (MPIA 965). This was to make the phone purchase look more coincidental than like a suspicious act.
• Bilal also knew that it looked bad that he went to the AT&T store separately–like he was trying to keep distance between himself and Adnan’s phone. So, during the grand jury proceedings, Bilal perjured himself and testified that he accompanied Adnan to the AT&T store to get the phone (bottom of pg. 9). We know that isn’t true based on Peter B’s statement to the cops.
• As to all the crap about Adnan’s parents knowing about the phone and Adnan being proud of being able to pay for a phone by himself, that’s all bullshit too. During the grand jury proceedings, Bilal testified that the bills for Adnan’s phone went to Bilal’s home address, not Adnan’s (see pg. 15). It was obviously in Bilal's interest to lie about that but he could not because the records indicated that the bills went to Bilal. Adnan did not spend one penny of his own money on that phone.
• Finally, there is the record of calls between Bilal and Adnan’s new phone–notably, the lack thereof. Bilal was careful to not have any calls between himself and Adnan on the AT&T phone on the days surrounding Hae’s murder. That was enough to throw the cops–who had subpoenaed Bilal’s phone records–off his scent. At first glance, the cops saw no calls between Adnan and Bilal between Jan 12 and Jan 14, 1999. No calls tying Bilal to Adnan on the day Hae was last seen alive. It worked. But Bilal being Bilal, he went way too far and hardly ever called Adnan’s cell at any point for the next five weeks. That was too fucking deliberate. Too careful. Not even a "Hey! How's that new phone I got you working out?" Or "Thanks for for the new phone, Bilal!" Nothing.
• In sum, Bilal decided that the safest course for himself was to NOT let Adnan use one of his Sprint phones and got him a new AT&T phone from which he did his damndest to distance himself. By trying too hard, Bilal revealed his scheme for self-preservation in view of the crime.

Is it becoming clear why there are so few witnesses against Adnan who actually saw or heard anything? No? Ok, let’s revisit how Bilal and Adnan concocted such an elaborate alibi that it ended up becoming an admission.

• Alonzo Sellers stumbled across Hae’s body on February 9, her body was identified on February 10 and it was reported to the public on February 11.
• As described earlier, we know based on Urick’s notes that Bilal and Adnan were stressing out on February 11, 1999 as the discovery of Hae’s body was being reported. We know that they were asking Bilal’s physician wife if the cops would be able to determine Hae’s time of death. Bilal and Adnan knew right then on February 11, 1999 that they needed to cover Adnan for the window during which he had no alibi.
• Jay was supposed to serve as the first and most important alibi to cover Adnan from the time that Jay picked Adnan up after school from the Best Buy lot. We will address this in excruciating detail later. But when Jay became a witness for the prosecution, Adnan needed someone to lie about seeing him an hour or so before that. Thus, the Asia alibi.
• But these shit-heads were not patient enough to wait until the state actually provided its theory on July 8, 1999 of when Hae was murdered that Gutierrez demanded the previous day specifically for alibi purposes. Nor were they capable of taking the less complicated route of having Asia come forward and simply declare that she saw Adnan at the library during the relevant time. That’s way too straightforward. Bilal is all about putting on a garish production. Thus, they have Asia write multiple letters with tons of unnecessary information indicating foreknowledge of what the state’s theory was going to be. A theory that the state did not disclose to the defense until more than four fucking months passed after the dates on Asia’s letters. Letters that talk about Adnan’s “unwitnessed, unaccountable time.” Letters that ended up being incriminating instead of exculpatory. All because Bilal cannot stop himself from trying too fucking hard. Because Bilal is preoccupied with carefully making every detail perfect. This habit of revealing criminal behavior by trying too hard is not limited to Bilal. It is a recurring theme that is essential to understanding this case.

Given that backdrop, it is absurd to believe that Bilal would say, “Hey Adnan! Tell that acquaintance of yours who is outside of our circle of trust about our plot to murder Hae and his role in it! Imagine the fun we'll have sweating buckets wondering when he will tell his friends and the stories we will have to make up to stay ahead of the police and prosecutors!” Bilal’s failures as a criminal mastermind include cramming way too much detail and having too many moving parts–demonstrating too much care. Injecting a witness like Jay into the plot that can later sell you out is beyond careless. Bilal had other plans for Jay. Without knowing it, Jay was supposed to help Adnan get away with the murder. It is a bitter irony for Adnan that Jay ended up doing the exact opposite.
On to Part 2

“It’s a Chiron-pattern pneumatic vault, modified slightly. There are intakes that run high power conduit and data lines, suggesting some sort of data protection. We think it’s a server bank.” Trigam, the lead tech, explained.
Gareth stood over the glowing holoscreen and glanced over the scan data and projections of what inner structures lie tangled and hidden inside the massive spherical machine.
“It jammed the shaker, fucking thing is enormous.” Trigam added.
The two stood in front of the data holoscreens, raised above the other technicians below, awaiting their assignments.
“Let’s crack it open then.” Gareth finally said, as he moved to the CNC actuator module.
Trigam stepped forward, “we haven’t tapped or done any kind of chemical isotope tracing.”
Gareth waved him away, “as long as there aren't dense plating layers, we can assume it's environmentally stable. Our concern here is preservation of the data inside.”
Trigam shook his head, “I just don’t think-”.
“Route our virtual banks, I’m setting into outer proximity removal.”
Gareth’s new smooth carbon plated hands controlled the milling machine, his manual touch removing the outer layers of the sealed vault.
“What are you doing still standing here?” He asked, not looking away from his work.
Trigam stormed from the control center of the large research bay, the echo of his leave stoking the fury that Gareth felt. His assistants should respect his authority and set to work when asked. Trigam always had issues in direction the short two years he served under Gareth. The boy was excellent at what he did, but had zero respect for the way of command.
Down below, the underlings scrambled into work, busy trying to keep up with the almost manic pace of their boss. Tubing and more conduit was brought in followed by tanks filled with liquid hydrocarbons at temperatures that would freeze and shatter steel, which began being pumped into the large data vault’s own cooling arteries, keeping the sealed and frigid temperatures low, minimizing the chance that any data inside become lost due to mechanical temperature changes, one of the most common loss vectors in archeotech recovery.
Trigam supervised the large operation, keeping careful attention to his engineers and their smooth stable flow of instruction, “Bring in another twelve converter couplings, we need redundancy for our side.”
Gareth followed the instruction path the CNC matrice guided him along, showing him which valves and layers could be peeled away. The work was slow and tedious, just the kind of thing he needed to focus on. The edge of the cutting bit was enlarged in his vision, his optics magnifying the work through auxiliary camera feeds inside the enormous machining bay. He watched the metal peel away, brittle and and pitted from over a milenia of erosion.
What are you hiding? He thought, as his hands injected machine precision adjustments to the cutting bits.
Likely, it was a datagem from the ruined military airfield they were currently trudging through. Banks of servers containing all manner of information, only useful to a specific set of hands in a specific time. All military archeotech was like this, in essence.
An old way, uncovered by those who had refined.
Was he refined? Gareth mused.
Out of the long tenure of expertise, sights and complex things happening all around him, he felt simple. A single spot of direction, from which an entire flood of others moved around. He supposed that was complex, but he was only a single part of it, disconnected from perceiving the whole. A being with a wide enough awareness might destroy itself upon reflection, just as the human race was doing now.
Trigam’s voice manifested, “deep scan’s show another chamber in the center. Possible artifact, unknown. But, it is behind thick shielding. I still think we should do a small tap and measure for radiation–or EM, anything.”
“Prelim scan’s would have been alerted. This model is archaic, I’ve popped thousands of these vaults open. Please, continue.”
Trigam fell off without a word, probing Gareth’s rage like a child poking a stick into the side of a dog. He wanted to bite, to tear apart and savage. There was something inside him screaming, pressing at the edges of his rational mind.
Just another thing to report to counsel, lest it snowball. He couldn’t afford another scene like Hekund Sigma, an entire shift’s worth of gloves straight onto his contract.
What would Helena think?
Would she be furious at his lack of care, or disregard for others? Would she scream at him for building a debt with Aetherguard so large, it ensured he would be working until the moment his biological heart stopped beating? He tried to manifest her image in his mind, the look of anger on her face. The youthful pearl whites of her teeth flashing in rage.
“Warning: electromagnetic lattice detected. Proceed with extreme caution.”
Gareth knew exactly what his wife would do, if she were still alive. She would probably laugh at him. She always had a way of making you laugh at the difficulty you experienced. It was a rare talent she carried with her everywhere she went. There were work contracts that balanced on the edge of oblivion, yet she could untangle the mess and keep everyone from biting each other’s faces off.
He loved her for it.
Trigam’s voice came through the cloud once more, “transfer banks are set and ready to receive. Cooling is optimal, there are no breaches in the inner seal.”
Gareth bristled at being read the obvious, “initiate transfer then.”
Trigam wouldn’t have replied, but he reported the eight minute estimated time anyways.
“Rube, can you ready a transport levicor? Medium size.” Gareth asked, anticipating whatever artifact lay sealed within the center.
There was no reply, but he knew that Rube would obey.
Gareth opened a wide broadcast channel to the rest of the crew below, “initiating seal breach. Emergency protocols on standby.”
He watched the group of work gloves below move away from the half closed blast doors that the pressurized vault sat behind. They retreated over all of the conduit and wiring and when everyone was sufficiently removed, Gareth started the breaching process.
Yellow claxons flashed on, bathing the research level in light which shouted “stand ready”. A massive actuating arm folded down from above and began inching its way through the openings Gareth had cut with a spiraling routing bit.
“Breaching seal in 3….2….1.”
The howling sound of rushing air filled the milling bay, white steam escaping from the depressed seal valve. It sputtered out after a moment, signaling the release of the centuries old air inside. Gareth input a set of smooth coordinates and a pair of actuating arms pulled the front armor plating from the vault.
Trigam stepped forward, “alright everyone, Ready plasma cutters.”
Gareth gazed down at the activity of his technicians, wondering how long they would last under Trigam’s tough management style. The running record was eight months, or somewhere around there.
“Feed check is good, we’re in transfer.” One of the technicians reported.
“As soon as we’re finished we can tap into the center. Figure out what they thought was worth locking away in this piece of shit.” Trigam huffed.
Gareth glanced over the incoming flow of data, not surprised that most of it was caching from daily air base operations. He would have the team review it later, what he was interested in was the flight traffic audio files. Traffic control chatter might contain the rest of the Hell Viper’s fate, along with an answer for the repeating file and data corruption.
“Shit, shit, no!” A technician near the front of the unsealed spherical vault shouted, as he backed away from the cooling coupling he was working on. He patted the front of his glove’s chest, as if he were covered in some invisible fire.
“What-”, Trigam said, backing away through the door to the emergency contamination shelter.
Everything in the research bay began to melt and unfurl, fluffs of metal, plastic, and wire becoming exposed, showering the area in sparks and noxious fumes. There was some sort of molecular fire working its way through the floor of the bay. Gareth’s technicians tried to run towards the emergency access, but their gloves fell and were ripped apart by the atom until only a slurry of organic material remained.
“And there goes the fucking data-”, Trigam threw his hands up behind the already sealed emergency chamber. He stood and watched as the massive data conduits split and fell apart like water unto sugar.
Every surface began to change and shift as it was pulled at the seams, walkways and ramps folding like soft clay and then dripping to the gathering pool on the floor level.
“Purge laboratory bay seventy, begin environment.” Gareth said, swiping over the emergency protocol module on the control panel.
Jets of Co2 and argon gas flooded the entire bay, slowing the caustic annihilation Small drones appeared, who were spraying a thick purple foam over every gooey surface.

“Trigam, I’d like you to-”. “You can get fucked. I’m reporting this to MOSD.” 

Review of https://sigmasuccour.itch.io/false-narrative
CW: Suicide mentions, Mental Health Mentions
The concept of addressing one's critics through media is not new, nor is it inherently problematic, however I cannot recall a piece of media as incredulous or bizarre as this one.
As with all of SigmaSuccor's works, it is a game which stretches RPG Maker to breaking point, filled with squashing and stretching sprites, and more plugins than one really requires to tell the "story" the game is attempting to tell. Once you're in past the opening dialogue (told through a VN style interface) you reach the meat of the 'gameplay'.
This is where things get weird.
This game is insane. I don't use that as hyperbole, or as some way of trying to praise the psychological depth of the piece: It is actively disturbing that a human being put this together.
The title is incredibly fitting: The game perpetuates a false narrative, and nowhere is this more obvious than in the defensive party chatter, where the author has invented two NPCs who agree with him and his defensive responses to what one can only assume are the criticisms leveled at him by other developers. The format is novel, but the use of multiple characters there to provide the author with a sounding board read more as aspects of a single personality than an actual trio of people with their own thoughts and feelings. At one point Succor (a sort of bizarre Tulpa seen throughout the False X series) comments that 'women don't compare, they accept' - and this stood out to me as especially bizarre.
This tends to be the bulk of what constitutes the (False) narrative - the gang walks through a train and interacts with groups of people, all discussing the actions and behaviour of the author, as well as giving their thoughts on him as a person and his work. These interactions are then commented upon by the party, occasionally interspersed with humour, but more often than not devolving into rants and commentary on community criticism of SigmaSuccor and his work.
One highlight of these conversations was a rant about AI generated images, which frames people having an issue with that technology as a personal attack against the author. Another concerned perceptions of the author's work as pretentious, and his claims of depth (along with another rebuttal against those claims). Then there's the bizarre joy at being compared to more popular (and successful) titles, claiming that the author's work is simply incomparable to other video games.
There are also allusions to suicide; and a heavy implication that any criticism of the author's work could be inferred as mental illness on the part of the critic. Indeed, there is one scene where the party discuss that attempting to take action perceived as critical of the author could lead to suicide. This is obviously unfathomably cruel, given that all of the people in the piece are at least analogous to real people. This is not the first of Sigma's games to use these analogs of real people, or visualisation of the Internet as a "real" place (or even the use of unauthorised snippets of Discord/Forum text concerning the author).
All of these conversations between party members come across as incredibly defensive - and borderline delusional - but it's not the crux of why this piece is disturbing. Among the delusion and self-aggrandising comments about "service" to the community, or how criticism of the author could be a ploy to keep the author creating is something far darker and more sinister:
After reaching the front of the "Hate Train", insulting the person "driving" and demanding that they stop criticising you, and telling them that their issues with you will explicitly lead to their suicide, you start to commit acts of violence towards your critics.
In a moment not unlike a pre-teen making their teachers as wrestlers in some WWE game to beat down for perceived injustice, SigmaSuccor - a grown man - flips the narrative, claims victimhood, and decides that the best way to deal with people being critical of him is to murder them with a sword. This is shown as "cancelling the noise" - wielding his "power and influence" to silence critics.
Combat is simple, and killing an enemy plasters the word "Ban" on the screen where their body fell, so the theme of Internet-As-Reality continues. It's a simple affair and nothing poses anything approaching a threat (after all, why would it). You fight your way to the back of the train and the game ends with a monologue from a man in a tophat insulting someone - either the author or his critics (calling them a piece of garbage, repeatedly saying they'll get what's coming to them, calling them cancerous et cetera).
The subject of this monologue is left deliberately blank, whether for plausible deniability or as a rare moment of self awareness. Given the remainder of the game it's more likely that this is directed towards the "driver" of the "hate train", the person whom Salik has - whether it intentional or not - decided that Internet Drama is worth them taking their own life over.
All in all, the game is short - taking roughly 30 minutes to complete if you read everything, and accomplishes very little in that time. Technically the game is (as always) a marvel, pretzeling the engine into shapes it was never intended to take, but the cloying, self-congratulatory, defensive writing coupled with the disturbing bloody violence towards the author's critics comes across as the ramblings of a man on the absolute edge of sanity. It is a disturbing artefact of RPG Maker Culture, very much of-its-time, and concerning a reality which - for some - is clearly beginning to take its toll.
There is a great irony in that this game was made as a way to address people being critical of SigmaSuccor's games being self inserts, and a greater irony still in the demands that this stop so that all parties can focus on game development. There is a level of hypocrisy here which is either post-modern brilliance, or the kind of thing usually scrawled on an asylum wall in faeces.
Why not give it a half hour and decide for yourself. 2/5