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We Play Human Music Chapter 23

2023.04.11 07:21 An_Insufferable_NEWT We Play Human Music Chapter 23

Life is a bitch, but I am marginally stronger than a bitch!
Editors: u/Dog_in_Boots, u/AlienNationSSB, u/BruhMomentGee
Other Chapters
— — —
“You’re listening to 96.1 The Rocket**: ‘The Gulf Coast Home of Classic Rock.’ We’re bringing you the hottest and hardest hits of the 2020s, the raw power you need to start your day right! This isn’t your parents’ radio station! Up next after the break, it’s Machine Gun Kelly and Imagine Dragons.”**
Stephen shuffled his feet in place, trying his best to ignore the lady in front of him writing a check for an individually-wrapped cinnamon bun. Did self-checkout machines even take checks? Who even carried checks nowadays?!
Besides the band, his weekday routine consisted of dropping Abigail off at her high school, grabbing a coffee, then the sky’s the limit. He had some time to kill before he was supposed to meet David and Mr. Rubin at Yesterdays’. They'd tried to reach out to Leslie but received no reply. Perhaps he needed some space… more space than usual.
The old crone in front of him finally gave up on shoving the check into the cash slot and teetered away, grumbling. He approached the machine, scanned his coffee, swiped his credit chit, zipped up his hoodie, and was out of the store in three seconds flat.
In most parts of the world, the year progressed in a series of four distinct, consecutive seasons: the bloom of Spring, the heat of Summer, the cool of Fall, and the chill of Winter. Florida, however, was an affront to God and all His creations. It experienced a maximum of two seasons: the boiling-hot, muggy, overflowing-with-tourists season and the warm, dry, and empty season where natives could freely roam about without tripping over sunbathing, overweight retirees from New England.
Unlike July or August, which made the inside of a freshly-microwaved Hot Pocket feel comfortable, October fell squarely in the middle of the warm season with days ranging from perfectly temperate to so cold that most people had to don their sparse winterwear a month early.
The sun sat high in the clearest sky the panhandle had seen since August. The nip of the cool coastal breeze and the radiance of the sun, clashing together, made the day neither too hot nor too cold. The pines were still just as green as they’d been in the beginning of spring. The sidewalks and roads were dusted with a thin layer of white sugar sand swept inland by the blustering winds.
He took a long sip of his triple-shot mocha. What was supposed to be a perfectly reasonable cup of coffee was turned into a syrupy sludge with way too much cream and sugar, exactly the way he liked it.
Today…
was…
perfect.
It didn’t just feel perfect, no; it was perfect. He felt truly alive.
For the longest time, he felt that he was surviving, not living—life was a bolting horse and he was a hapless cowboy with his boot stuck in the stirrup. In an uncertain and changing world, he was stuck inside with no drive. Careers were leaving town in droves, sometimes leaving the planet in droves. College was another dead end. What could he study? What was he interested in? The nightly news, dinner table conversations, and tales of Abigail’s woes brought nothing but anxiety for the future, and it had been endlessly frustrating. The easiest way to get rid of the crushing emptiness inside had been to heat up some pizza rolls and play Terraria 2 until his brains began to ooze out his ears, but with every new day came that same feeling renewed within.
He hadn’t felt ‘bad’ or anything, no, he had just felt nothing.
That was, until he met Aku… and Vaeka.
It was all amusingly ironic. He’d avoided the Shil all his life under the careful direction of his parents and the ever-present fear of getting shanked in an alleyway by a vengeful insurgent. ‘Keep your head down. Don’t talk to the Marines. Don’t leave the house without your grinshaw spray.’
Now?
Now his best friend was purple through and through. Not only that, life felt… meaningful again. Nothing much had changed, no, but it was like his perspective had totally shifted. He actually wanted to play guitar, to go places, to see things, to face the dangers of this world, to spend some time with Vae-...
There it is again.
He climbed back inside his car and sped off toward downtown. Cresting the highest point on Scenic Highway, everything was laid bare before him: the ancient railroad depots with decaying lines running to and from the port; the restaurants, boutiques, and homes comprising the historical district; the Three-Mile Bridge, a massive, multi-laned concrete monster connecting Pensacola to Gulf Shores; the sleek, purple monolithic resorts being erected on the horizon; cargo ships descending into the Imperial Base; the digital billboard of…
COUGH! HACK!” Stephen’s coffee went down the wrong pipe.
As soon as it was possible to do so, he yanked the wheel to the side, forcing the car into an empty parking lot. It was only a minute or so until the advertisement looped around again.
Fifty feet off the ground, shining in all of its LED-illuminated glory, stood an advertisement for the grand opening of Yesterdays’, a touched-up image of him and the rest of the band featured front and center. It promised, written once in English then again in Vatikre, ‘live entertainment nightly.’
His omnipad dinged in his pocket. It was a notification to accept the ‘digital fistbump’ from Bridger Advertising.
With a swipe, the omnipad sprang to life with light and sound. It was a video filmed from the audience’s perspective during the show enhanced with the pad’s native holographic display, creating a 3D augmented reality effect and giving the image real depth. It was incredible… and horrifying.
Once the tiny Aku on his screen finished the number, a title card appeared, giving the name of the band, showtimes, and admission prices at *Yesterdays’—*all of it written once in English and once in Vatrikre.
Not only that, there was a datanet link.
He…
He had to talk to David now.
— — —
Yesterdays’ occupied a former office building, a two-story concrete box which used to house the administrative department of the old steelworks. A fresh coat of paint and a neon sign had turned the place nigh unrecognizable.
Stephen spotted David’s old truck, or rather its descendant since every last part sans the frame had been replaced at least once. The old clunker had been running since before David was born and would probably outlast him too.
Stephen slid into the adjacent parking spot and disembarked. David was close, but where?
Years ago, the factory permanently closed its doors. The production lines and the old high-ceiling warehouses were all knocked down except for one, and the door to the massive sheet metal barn sat wide open with a light on inside.
Stephen peeked around the corner. Mr. Rubin was showing off the space, now transformed into the beginnings of a concert hall, to an enthusiastic David. “I’m thinkin’ string lights wrapped around these columns here and lining the soundbooth.”
David scratched his chin. “You know, they’ve started selling those floating chandeliers.”
“I want to keep the decor Human though. It’s part of the appeal. They don’t want to see Shil stuff if they ain’t on Shil. That’s like going to an authentic foreign-food restaurant for their chicken tenders.”
“Hear me out, what if they’re really good chicken tenders?”
“I don’t feel like tryin’ to learn how to keep a chandelier afloat though. That sounds like an insurance nightmare waiting to happen.”
He left his hiding place and marched toward the two of them, clearing his throat for attention.
David greeted him. “Hey, you’re early! What do you think?”
“You’ve got explaining to do,” he snarled. “Why is there a picture of my face fifty feet up over highway ninety?”
“Hold on,” David instantly threw his hands up in surrender. “I was going to tell you. It was going to be a surprise.”
“Surprises are supposed to be enjoyable for the surprise-ee, not ruin their day. You can’t just do things like that without asking us first, David! The- the last thing I wanted to see this morning was a giant digital billboard with me on it. Who took those pictures anyway?!”
“Zilis.”
“The Marine?”
“Yes, the Marine.” A devious smile spread across his face.
“It was my fault,” Mr. Rubin spoke up. “I had to secure the deal with the advertising firm or the sign wouldn’t have been up by the opening date.”
David nodded. “I talked through the whole thing with Rubin.”
“You didn’t talk it over with me!” Stephen retorted.
David pinched the bridge of his nose. “I was going to! Honest! Rubin’s part of the deal, we’re in this together, so I went to him first! It was necessary.”
Mr. Rubin chuckled nervously. “Ah hell, call me Mutt. We’re all men here, aren’t we?”
Most of us. Steve-o, if you have a problem with it, then tell me why. Why shouldn’t I put us on a billboard or make a website, huh?”
“Because we’re a team, and teams make these kinds of decisions together. You’re being a… a regular dictator! You’ve done this before, making decisions without us. That’s my face over a major highway! That’s a serious breach of privacy.”
“You want to talk to me about teamwork? You sing sometimes and you play guitar, congratulations. What kind of extra work do you put in to help the band succeed, hmm?”
Stephen opened his mouth to protest, but the words didn’t get a chance to escape his lips.
David continued, “We’ve played together for years and I’ve been working my ass off handling all of the managerial work totally by my fucking self. I’m the one who gets our broke, washed out, sorry looking hides into those dive bars and blues festivals coated in enough chewing tobacco to melt your skin off so that we can get the tiniest, little, itty-bitty bit of notoriety and cash to go along with it. Have you ever thought for a goddamn second how hard it is for a cover band with no merch, ads, or socials to fulfill ticket quota? Of course you and Les both fucking haven’t because y’all are both trapped in your little ‘woe is me’ worlds only thinking about yourselves. Meanwhile, I’m trying to haul you both out of the gutter and I get nothing but pushback. You want people to come to your shows? This is how you do it.”
David placed a firm hand on Stephen’s shoulder. “I get it, life is shitty, but you can only get out of it what you put into it. The universe doesn’t give returns on investments you never make! Have you thought once about the future? About trying to improve your station? You want to be a rock and roll star, don’t you!?”
He pushed David’s hand off his shoulder. “Who said I wanted to be a star?”
“Stephen, you’re in a cover band. We play bars. We’ve always played bars. Look, I’m sorry I didn’t inform you of all this ahead of time, but we’re fucking losers. We still have bills to pay though, and the free publicity Aku is giving us will make it so we’ll never have to worry about quotas again.”
“You think I don’t know what you’re doing, don’t you?” Stephen wasn’t going to let him play innocent so easily. “You’re going to fill those seats with Shil! Why else would you put us on the datanet?”
David froze, refusing to meet his eyes. With a sigh, he continued. “Yes, you got me, that was my plan. I talked everything over with Mutt and we’re going to capitalize on foreign tourists. If they want the ‘authentic Earth heritage’ experience, this’ll be the place they’ve got to go, where their sisters demand they go because we’re tearing the roof off every night.”
So this was the plan all along. David never did anything without a motive lurking beneath the surface. Offering a bus seat to someone? The guy next to him reeks of weed. Inviting someone over to hangout? Nope, you’re helping him rearrange the furniture. But this one, this one takes the cake! “It’s all a game to you!” Stephen accused. “You can’t do anything, even the things you love, without… sticking dollar signs on it!”
Without missing a beat, David clapped back with, “if you’re good at something, never do it for free.”
“Did you just quote the Joker?”
David shrugged. “It’s a good quote. Where’s this magical land where starving artists didn’t need cash? I’d love to go live there myself, you know.”
“I know we need the money, but… we can’t do that.”
“Do what?”
He didn’t understand. There were clearly defined lines one should never try to cross. He spoke in hushed tones. “David, they’re purps. You know how much trouble we could get in, how much trouble they can be… especially to people like us.”
Stephen wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he could expect from David. Possibly an agreement? A mutual expression of concern?
What he didn’t count on was for David to start laughing at him. “Aw c’mon, it’s 2041 and you’re still scared of the space babes?”
“I- I am not scared of them!” Sweat began to pool on his forehead.
David raised his vocal pitch an octave. “Oh nooooo! A giant, sexy Amazon is offering me a free ride to Valhalla!”
“Stop that!”
David pretended to cower in fear. “My poor goody-two-shoe sensibilities are being threatened by carnal temptation! Somebody come save me from my wildest dreams!”
He clenched his hands, knuckles turning white as snow. “You don’t understand.”
“No no, I think I do. You melt onto the floor every time one looks your way. Stand up for yourself. You’re a Human, dammit, so act like one instead of some limp-wristed tena’vati.
“I SAID-“ He reached out to grab a hold of him, but David slipped from his fingers like an eel.
A partition came between them both, the portly form of Mr. Rubin—Mutt—held them both an arm’s length too far apart. “Gentlemen, please! Both of you!”
David separated from the tangle of limbs and brushed himself off. “No quarrel here, just figuring out the root of the problem,” he purred with a smirk.
The red faded from Stephen’s vision, but the knots in his stomach remained. Time to bail before more trouble. “I’m going to talk to Aku, asshole!”
“Hey wait, come back! I was only fooling. Why so serious? Shit, that’s the Joker again…” David’s voice trailed off into nothing the further away Stephen got from him.
He marched back to his old civic, slid in, and slammed the door in fury.
“DAMN IT!”
Tena’vati was a word that carried great weight in conversation. The Vatikre translation is simple: the suffix ‘-vati’ meant ‘people’ while the prefix, ‘tena’, is the word for ‘man.’ Together, the direct translation is closest to ‘people of man.’
Or more accurately, ‘male.’
To a Shil, it was only a word. To a Human, it was a grave insult, a condemnation of their entire being; spineless, soft, coddled, and cowardly.
And the only Shil male he knew was often more of a man than he was. Oh, the bitter irony.
Staring off into the horizon, watching another cargo ship rise up over the starport and vanish in the midday sun, he couldn’t tell what he was more mad at: David’s teasing… or the feeling that he was right.
Aku drew a new crowd to their shows—a distinctly purple one. Seeing their wide-eyed, enamored faces staring daggers into your soul with equal parts adoration and…
…Hunger…
It was terrifying. Crowds were scary enough already without looking like they wanted to eat you alive. After avoiding anything having to do with the Shil for all his life, this kind of attention was very new, very alien.
With a shudder and a roar, the car sprang to life. He could worry about the future later. For now, he had to warn Aku about David’s business ventures.
— — —
Their hotel was surprisingly… normal. It was the same cookie-cutter, five-story box on the side of the highway that one could find every few miles across the country: beige walls, unprovocative decor, tile flooring, the works. The newer hotels always had massive, sprawling first floors with high ceilings to better accommodate alien guests while the second floor and up retained their Human proportions.
They were staying in room 210. On his way to the elevator, Stephen noticed a burly security guard, glowering while standing watch in the hall just next to the exercise room. The man leaned against the wall, keeping himself just out of view from the windows. A dented can of grinshaw spray hung loosely from his belt.
As Stephen was passing, he caught the faint impression of something pinkish out of the corner of his eye.
In the far corner of the room, with her back turned toward him, Vaeka sat at a lateral pulldown machine nearly too small to support her frame. Dressed in only a gray sports bra and sweatpants, she grunted and strained completing rep after rep with the weight set to maximum, the entire rig shuddering every time the stack of metal blocks tapped the floor.
‘Clunk, clunk, clunk.’
He lost count after twenty five, completely oblivious to how long he’d been staring.
He began to drift toward the gym entrance. Placing his hand on the door, the guard called to him in a gravelly voice barely above a whisper, “Hey, I wouldn’t go in there…” His voice was stern, laced with an undertone of contempt.
Stephen hesitated for a moment…
But only a moment.
He pulled the door open to be blasted by cool, recycled air tinted with the scent of… was that lavender?
With every motion, every breath, the chiseled muscles in her back rolled and weaved together in hypnotic waves. Beads of sweat raced down through the valleys and dips in the cords, trailing all the way from her shoulders to her waistline. Her hair, the color of polished obsidian, glistened in the unnatural white light as she finished her set with a deep, melodic exhale. She snatched a water bottle the size of his thigh off the ground and took a drink. Tilting her head back, she emptied the remainder of its contents onto her forehead then stood up…
And turned around.
Now he knew how the gazelle felt in those nature documentaries.
“Oh, hey!” She greeted him with a nod and a smile, lacking even the smallest flinch of surprise. “What are you doing here?”
If she were just any other Marine, he’d already be counting his exits and backing away slowly, but Vaeka? Vaeka was different… somehow. It was difficult to put into words, the unfamiliar feeling. The height, the muscle, everything that was usually petrifying to behold was somehow… not.
Their encounters with each other had up to this point been nothing short of extraordinary. He’d almost been stun-blasted and hauled in for questioning by her pod. He’d spent a night he didn’t remember being carried home in her arms as that godforsaken Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster worked its way through his system. The thought of being completely helpless like that in the presence of Shil’vati rattled him to his core, but no harm came to him that evening. He’d tried to apologize for the trouble, but she brushed it off as simply an act of common decency. Her words that day still echoed in his mind.
“Are you going to go out there as a Human, or a tuskless Shil’vati? Unless you’ve got character issues that need to be blasted from orbit, do me a favor and never change for anyone.”
Staring up at her golden eyes, he made a promise—a silent vow left unspoken—to be the friend she deserved to have, or perhaps… more than a-...
“Hellooooo! Fleet command to Stephen!” She pretended to knock on the top of his head. How long had he been standing there?
“I- I came to see Aku, to speak with- uh, him.” Even now, it was still hard to meet her eyes.
“Sounds important.”
“It is, I think…”
“Huh. Anyway, the little twirp’s up in our room. It’s starting to feel like I’ve got to keep him under lock and key sometimes. Give me a minute, and I’ll walk you there.”
He was perfectly capable of doing it himself, but didn’t want to protest.
After wiping the equipment off with sanitizer, she bent down to retrieve a bright ball of fabric lying on the ground. He respectfully averted his eyes after a disrespectfully long period of deliberation.
Uncrumpling it, she pulled the shirt over her head and pulled it tight. “Ready?”
It was activewear with Trade Shil script written across the chest. It was difficult to read them without giving the impression of blatantly staring at boobs. He parsed the words and sounded them out. “This body… is a machine… that turns… men… into fathers?
“You can read- EEP!” Vaeka shrank, cowering from his sight with her arms squeezed across her chest in a vain attempt to hide the lettering, lest it offend his sensibilities. “I-it was a gift! I swear!” She blurted out sheepishly.
Seeing a big, burly fist of the Empress squeal in embarrassment of wearing a shirt that wasn’t even that dirty; all the fear washed away in an instant.
A fist pressed to the mouth couldn’t block the oncoming torrent.
He started to laugh.
He laughed and laughed until the furious dark-blue filling her face began to color his own.. “Ahahaha!! ‘Wheeze!’
“Alright! S-stop laughing!” It was hard to see through the tears, but she was pouting.
After a few more moments, he’d calmed down enough to come up for air. “Tha-tha-that's hilarious! Whew, sorry! Heheh… Ow.”
“Uh, yeah. Humph.” She laughed nervously and grabbed her bag. “Anyway, ahem, I’ll lead t-the way up.”
They exited the gym under the sour glare of the security guard. “Same time tomorrow, Edgar?” She quipped with renewed confidence. The man never replied and only continued to stare them down, a gaze so cold it sent an involuntary shiver down his spine.
It wasn’t only security that was in a sour mood. The receptionists and housekeeping staff all stayed far away from Vaeka, only shooting her the occasional curious glance or barely-disguised sneer. The pair of them sought refuge in the stairwell.
He could barely keep up with her as she took the steps three at a time. “Nice hotel. The staff are… nice.”
Vaeka huffed. “It’s nothing new. You get used to it after a while.”
“How long have you been a Marine?”
“Hmm, six or seven of your years, two of them spent here in House Reylia’s territory… er, Florida.”
“Where were you before Florida?”
Heh. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” She flashed him a toothy smile. The worrying part was he couldn't tell if she was being serious or not.
There were no onlookers in the corridors: a blessing. Who knows what people would think seeing a guy like him and a girl like her entering a hotel room together?
She knocked on the door to give a head’s up before swiping her keycard.
Opening the door, a wave of heat nearly singed his eyebrows off. The old atmospheric control unit under the bedroom window rattled and groaned trying to meet the aliens’ demands. The old saying rang true: ‘some like it hot, Shil like it hotter.’
Aku was lying atop a bed, wearing shorts and some kind of form-fitting sleeveless t-shirt. He tore himself away from his omnipad and perked up. “Stephen!”
“Uh, hey.” He shed his hoodie to keep from being boiled alive. “There’s something I need-”
He couldn’t finish his sentence before a big, blue something was shoved in his face. He grabbed hold of it curiously and held it out to examine.
Oh…
Look at that slim-taper mahogany neck, the tasteful thickness of it.
Oh my God...
It even has gold-plated bridge saddles.“You like it? You’re… you’re not upset, right? I’m still going to use the guitar you gave me, but I really wanted to explore my options with different styles and… Is everything alright? You’re sweating.”
With a flick of his wrist, he strummed a quick chord. “Are you kidding? This is beautiful!”
Vaeka yelled out from the bathroom over the sound of running water. “We’re trying to find a new place to stay since this dunderhead can’t stop playing it all day and night!”
Aku grew sheepish. “In my defense, I only forgot to plug in the headphones one time.”
He fiddled with the pickup switch. “This is… I’m almost jealous. Almost.” Caught up in the excitement, he’d almost forgotten why he was here in the first place. “Erm, Aku?”
He didn’t hear him. “So I’ve been looking at this small studio apartment for rent about ten minutes from here; two bedrooms, high ceilings, full kitchen even if all the appliances are ancient tech. The stove runs on gas! Gas! Real natural gas piped in through the walls! Besides that, I’m thinking full, postmodern Shil’vati interior design with a splash of Sevastatuvan rustic and Human-”
“Aku! David went behind our backs.” He felt bad for yelling, but he had to at least know.
“What do you mean?” Aku asked.
Stephen felt it was easier to just show him. He held up his omnipad showing a picture of the billboard. “I found out this morning. I’ve got coffee stains all over my dash now.” He switched tabs, pulling up Close Encounter’s new datasite complete with a taunting clipart UFO bouncing up and down on his screen. “I don’t know how he thinks he can do this without asking permission first! Is this even reversible after all that money and contracts and… Aku?”
Something was definitely wrong.
He didn’t even know Shil could turn that pale. Was this some kind of alien heart attack? “Hey, uh… you okay?”
Aku, still white as his bedsheets, ran to the bathroom door. “Vaekaaaaa! We have a problem!”
She was out of the bathroom not even three seconds later, still dressed in her gym clothes. “Problem?!”
Aku removed the pad from his stunned grasp and handed it to her. He began to pace the room, hands clawing at his own face while muttering to himself in Vatikre. “Oh Goddess, Empress above, I feel sick. Could they? Shit, shit, shit! I can’t- I won’t-... no, no.
Vaeka sighed in relief. “Okay, it’s not bad. This address says the page is only available planetside. Earth’s datanet is restricted to local traffic only.” She jammed an accusatory finger in his direction. “‘Don’t worry about the videos, Vaeka?’ I told you this would happen!”
Stephen snapped out of his stunned silence. “What in the world is going on??”
He’d never seen Aku like this before. The tiny man grabbed a pillow from the bed and hugged it close to himself. “Stephen…” He looked at Vaeka. She gave him a silent nod of approval. “If I had to tell one person… I’m glad it’s you.”
“Tell me what? I-I’m kind of starting to freak out here.”
“Aku is just a nickname. My real name is Akurune Dorskulo.”
Stephen waited for him to continue. “...Yes?
Aku hit himself with the pillow. “Oh, of course you don’t! I’m dumb! Anyway, I was an initiate in apprenticeship under Her Majesty’s four hundred and thirteenth appointed Keeper-of-the-Song Mistress Tranja until…,” he choked on his own words, “until I wasn’t… anymore.”
Those were definitely words, words that sounded important. ‘Cliffsinger.’ Wait a minute, Abigail was right?!?
“You were a star? Like a famous person?”
“In a way.” He grinned with a hint of self-satisfaction.
It didn’t add up at all. “Then… what are you doing on Earth in a hotel?”
“Hiding from my wife with my sister.”
“Hiding from your wife and sister?”
“No, hiding with my sister from my wife.”
“Your sis-...” Suddenly, everything made sense, and didn’t, all at the same time. “I’m… going to need someone to start from the beginning… and more coffee.”
— — —
Next
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2023.03.19 16:00 CatWatt March 19th Special Days - Featuring Poultry Freebies!

March 19th Special Days - Featuring Poultry Freebies!

March 19th is... National Poultry Day
-- Celebrates chicken, turkey and other birds we commonly consume. Chickens were introduced to America by the European explorers in the 16th century. Chicken consumption in the United States increased during World War II due to a shortage of beef and pork. There are so many different ways to cook poultry - including roasting, baking, frying, grilling, sautéing, steaming and broasting. Celebrate today with scrambled eggs for breakfast, a turkey sandwich for lunch, and barbecue chicken for dinner.

Free Printables, Coloring Pages, Activities, and Crafts:

🐔 Chicken Jigsaw Puzzles Free Online Jigsaw Puzzles
🐔 Chicken dot to dot printable worksheets
🐔 Free Chicken Printables for Kids An Off Grid Life
🐔 Printable chicken recipe cookbook Midwest Living
🐔 Chickens Theme Activities and Printables
🐔 4-H Poultry Activity Page - Cornell Cooperative
🐔 Chicken Coloring Pages
🐔 Teacher Resources — 4-H Poultry — Penn State Extension
🐔 Chicken Quotes, Sayings, Fun Facts and Trivia
🐔 Poultry Hub Resources - supports teachers and students at primary and secondary schools by providing information on education opportunities, as well as resources to assist in learning.
🐔 Friday Fun Activity: Pass the Chicken Education World
🐔 Chicken Crafts for Kids: Make your own arts and crafts chickens
🐔 The Magic Chicken Cardboard Box
🐔 Printables — Indiana State Poultry Association
🐔 Chicken Coloring Pages and Printables Education.com
🐔 DIY Felt Chicken Egg Life-Cycle with Printables
🐔 Teacher Resources: U.S. Poultry and Egg Association
🐔 We are Birds-Poultry Emergent Reader
🐔 Chicken Printables and Games
🐔 Free Chicken Lapbook
🐔 Chickens - Cybersleuth Kids
🐔 DIY Water Heater for Chickens (and Other Pets)
🐔 Chicken Word Search Puzzle
🐔 Eggsercise Coloring Book - California Department of Food
🐔 Collection of Chicken Line Art (64)
🐔 June 3rd Special Days - Featuring 32+ Egg Freebies!
🐔 May 14th Special Days - Featuring 28+ Chicken Dance Freebies!

Poultry Recipes:

🐔 Chicken Recipes Allrecipes
🐔 Chicken Recipes A Collection of Delicious Chicken Recipes
🐔 54 Healthy Chicken Recipes That Make Us Fall in Love With Poultry Again
🐔 Healthy Chicken Recipes 50 Easy Recipes You'll Love
🐔 Best low carb and keto chicken recipes - Diet Doctor
🐔 Top 20 Must Try Keto Chicken Breast Recipe Ideas (30 Minutes and Under!)
🐔 57 Easy Paleo Chicken Breast Recipes and Meal Ideas
🐔 Sweet Chicken and Waffles, cute chicken truffle and waffle
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2023.01.22 03:04 CrackerJack278 My School iPad shows this whenever I look for pictures after searching something. How do I reset it so it shows pictures? (No I am not OS on the iPad)

My School iPad shows this whenever I look for pictures after searching something. How do I reset it so it shows pictures? (No I am not OS on the iPad) submitted by CrackerJack278 to techhelp [link] [comments]


2023.01.10 23:46 RunAwayWithCRJ Very odd bug. Google Image Search shows only one image when I am logged in across platforms.

Very odd bug. Google Image Search shows only one image when I am logged in across platforms. submitted by RunAwayWithCRJ to google [link] [comments]


2022.11.25 20:00 Awkward_King Drag Rate Ruveal Day 1: And if you have Reddit you probably know all about this rate

hi everybody, welcome to Day 1 of the Drag Rate Ruveal, featuring music from queens of RuPaul's Drag Race.
Today's antics will be kicking off at 3PM EST, an hour from this post going up, in this thread and in the Queup Room, where we'll be counting down and kikikikikikikikikikiking from songs #67 to #44. Please come and join, it'll be a blast!
94 of you girls are safe this week
Average Score: 6.684
Average Controversy: 2.275, so anything above this should be considered controversial by this rate's standards

Songs Remaining

Alaska

  1. Your Makeup Is Terrible
  2. Anus
  3. The T (feat. Adore Delano)
  4. Come to Brazil
  5. Beautiful (night 4 a) Breakdown

Monét X Change

  1. Soak It Up (Remix) (feat. Bob the Drag Queen)
  2. Beyoncé
  3. Love Like This
  4. Vi ravviso, o luoghi ameni

Trixie Mattel

  1. Mama Don't Make Me Put on the Dress Again
  2. Malibu
  3. Jackson (feat. Orville Peck)
  4. Hello Hello

Adore Delano

  1. I Adore You
  2. Take Me There
  3. 27 Club

Bob the Drag Queen

  1. Purse First
  2. Yet Another Dig (feat. Alaska)
  3. Bitch Like Me

Shea Couleé

  1. Cocky (feat. Lila Star & The Vixen)
  2. Crème Brûlée
  3. Your Name

Yvie Oddly

  1. Hype (feat. Vanessa Vanjie Mateo)
  2. Sick Bitch (feat. Willow Pill)
  3. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner (Remix) (feat. Bebe Zahara Benet & Shea Couleé)

Aja

  1. Finish Her!
  2. Brujería

Bebe Zahara Benet

  1. Banjo
  2. Body On Me

Jujubee

  1. Don't Wanna Love
  2. Bad Juju (feat. Shea Couleé)

Violet Chachki

  1. Bettie
  2. Mistress Violet (feat. Allie X)

Miscellaneous

  1. Aiden Zhane - BOO! (feat. Saint)
  2. Bimini Bon Boulash - God Save This Queen
  3. Blair St. Clair - Now Or Never
  4. Choriza May - Feeling Fruity (feat. River Medway)
  5. Courtney Act - Fight for Love
  6. Detox - Supersonic
  7. DWV - Boy Is A Bottom
  8. Eureka! - The Big Girl
  9. The Frock Destroyers - Her Majesty
  10. Ginger Minj - Ooh Lala Lala
  11. Jinkx Monsoon - Cartoons and Vodka
  12. Juriji Der Klee - XIXI
  13. Kahanna Montrese - Scores
  14. Katya - Ding Dong! (feat. Trixie Mattel)
  15. Kelly Mantle - My Neck, My Back (Lick It)
  16. Laganja Estranja - Legs (feat. Rye Rye)
  17. Lala Ri - Bad Bitch Tip
  18. Latrice Royale - Weight
  19. Manila Luzon - Hot Couture
  20. Miss Fame - Rubber Doll
  21. Mo Heart - Brown Cow Stunning
  22. NYC Queens of S9 - C.L.A.T.
  23. Pandora Boxx - Oops I Think I Pooped
  24. Peppermint - Servin' It Up
  25. Priyanka - Come Through (feat. Lemon)
  26. Raja - Zubi Zubi Zubi
  27. Serena ChaCha - Drag Money
  28. Shangela - Werqin' Girl (Professional)
  29. Tammie Brown - Clam Happy (feat. Stacey Lee Big)
  30. Tatianna - The Same Parts
  31. Valentina - A Prueba De Todo
  32. The Vixen - Room, Pt. 2 (feat. Shea Couleé)
  33. Willam - Thick Thighs (feat. Latrice Royale)
  34. Willow Pill - Angle (feat. Kornbread)
Here's the Queup link again, hope to see you there :)
submitted by Awkward_King to popheads [link] [comments]


2022.09.30 11:05 radiantmemories SR 2- Area Feedback

Here's my feedback on the areas for the game, as well as my suggestions on how to improve the areas (and new slimes for them)! (Also, keep in mind that despite my harsh criticisms, I like the game overall, and am just hoping my feeback is useful to make it even better.)
New Areas
Overall
Rainbow Fields
Ember Valley
This area is disappointingly clear of fire: only less than 1/3 of it has fire (though the parts with fire are very cool), and one part is even water-based! Now, I don't want to have to jump through lava the entire time, but it would be nice if more parts of it were fire-based. Now, I imagine it might be hard to move bits of maps around, but if it's possible, this would be my suggestions:
Starlit Strand
This area, while cool, is more tree and rock than water in most parts. It needs to be more focused around the nighttime-water theme that its name implies.
Suggested New Areas
Tree Area
The Deep Sea
Stormy Flats/Skies
Swamp/Bog Area
Cave Area
Jungle Area (possibly incorporated into another area)
Rainbow Fields Part 2
The Rainbow Fields are already a pretty good area, but they're admittedly a bit small compared to the other two currently released areas. Now, that size is a good size for a beginning area, but at the same time it would be nice to have more to explore. There's a way to have the best of both worlds: keep the currrent part of the Rainbow Fields the same, but have an addition to the map that's only accessible through something you make (either a slime science gadget such as the jetpack or something like a rope bridge) or a portal, that requires you to go to at least one other area. The new addition could have completely different slimes and maybe one additional mechanic compared to the first part of Rainbow Fields.
Ice Area (seemingly going to be included)
Labryinth Area (seemingly going to be included)
The Ranch
Overall
  • It would be nice if the areas to different sections of your ranch have features more similar to the areas that they're leading to. For example, the entrance to the cave is a long, open section that just abruptly has a cave. The area leading to the ravine, in fact, looks more like the entrance to a cave-area than the path to the cave does. If the path to the cave was covered and more tunnel-like, it would be cooler and easier to tell where it lead to. The path to the ravine could be more rock-like (maybe with large, jagged stones on the side of the path, for example), and the path to the chicken area the grassy one.
  • Things are laid out strangely. Half of the gadget spots and corals are right in the way of walking paths, food and plorts collectors face walls with little room between them and the wall, paths don't lead to things directly (for example some of ones at your house lead to the wall of your house/the path around your house, instead of directly to an opening back into your house), corals are off to the sides and environmental things the focus instead, etc. Things in the old game were laid out well, so I'm not sure why they're so poorly laid out in this one.
  • The areas in your ranch don't have walls (or even fence barriers), so free-range slimes just yeet themselves off of the side. I don't undertand this game's aversion to walls. The Overgrowth, for example, was completely walled in, yet it was one of my favorite ranch areas (simple yet pretty). We need more walls and barriers for areas.
  • It would have been cool to be able to add and remove functional but decorative environmental things like fruit trees, waterfalls, mushrooms, ponds, small critters, etc, without taking up coral spots. Each area could have had a certain number of things you could add to it (say, 3) so you could have a free food source like the Overgrowth gives, but actually choose which one you want. That would allow you to choose how the area looks and functions somewhat, while still keeping them themed and useful for specific things.
  • Part of the fun in SR1, in my opinion, was unlocking a new teleporter with each new ranch area. Here, the new areas don't include any teleporters, which is a bit sad.
The Conservatory (main area)
  • Things are arranged oddly. The tree is the main focus, not the corrals or the hut, like last time. I like having an underground area available right off the bat, but having to walk downstairs to do any upgrades is unfortunate.
  • SO MANY CHICKENS
  • The tree doesn't grow anything useful, and it would be nice if it did (perhaps there could be an upgrade buyable to your main area, where you could pick a fruit or honey/necter for the tree to grow. If there needs to be logic behind how it could happen, you could say you grafted branches onto the tree or hybridized it)
  • The paths underground dead-end in cliffs with no barriers, which is unfortunate.
The Den
  • The mushroom underground theme is cool, but once again, it has a weird layout. There's a big central pillar in the middle in the way, and then all the corrals are scattered right where you have to walk, with their plorts collectors facing walls.
  • The paths dead-ending in ocean is scary, but I think it's just temporarily like that because new areas will be added at the end of those paths, so that's okay.
The Archway
  • I wasn't at all fond of this area. We have two rocky ravine areas right now, this area and the Gully. We only really need 1 (and it takes up precious space for other cool expansion themes), so perhaps some arches from here could just be combined into the gully (which currently doesn't feel too unique).
  • Also, all of the arches are just open to the sea. I tried free-ranging slimes mutiple times and kept coming back to find only 1 left.
  • Carrots and Pogofruits, which nice if you're running short on food, aren't useful otherwise. And to have them both in the same areas but seperate from the chickens (unlike last time when all 3 were in the overgrowth) means that you can't free range any fruit or veggie slimes here easily, as they'll always be eating sub-par food, and the Gulley is already supposed to be the place for meat-eating slimes.
  • On this bright side, the upper part of this area is a bit better laid out then some, as both slime corals are clearly visible and easily accessible, but not in the middle of where you need to walk.
The Gully
  • This areas is a bit generic, with not much special about it. It's grass with some rocks, and that's it.
  • Regular chickens eventually become a mostly useless resource, because they aren't a favorite food of any slimes. Plus, you can get a bunch of them right outside your door. Please have the hens be stony hens instead, as that would be more useful by the time you unlock this area.
  • Also, the corals are right in the way of walking again. There's a very nice ridge up to the right of the entrance (nice and flat and wide, with ground on either side so you can't fall off and die) but there are no corrals there, where it would make sense to put them. Also, the open sides once again mean your slimes can yeet themselves off.
The Tidepools
  • The design with the nets is cool. And I liked that there were two pools. Once again, no walls so both you and the slimes can yeet themselves of the edge by accident. Some more nets and less vertical areas would be nicer.
submitted by radiantmemories to Slimerancher2 [link] [comments]


2022.07.03 16:30 Twoweekswithpay What is the Best Film You Watched Last Week? (06/26/22-07/03/22)

The way this works is that you post a review of the best film you watched this week. It can be any new or old release that you want to talk about.
{REMINDER: The Threads Are Posted On Sunday Mornings. If Not Pinned, They Will Still Be Available in the Sub.}
Here are some rules:
1. Check to see if your favorite film of last week has been posted already.
2. Please post your favorite film of last week.
3. Explain why you enjoyed your film.
4. ALWAYS use SPOILER TAGS: [Instructions]
5. Best Submissions can display their [Letterboxd Accts] the following week.
Last Week's Best Submissions:
Film Use[LB/YT*] Film Use[LB/Web*]
“Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe” NoTransportation888 "Forbidden City Cop” [AneeshRai7]
"Fire Island” [JoeLollo] “Tremors” SabbathBl00dySabbath
“Crimes of the Future” [CDynamo] “The Thing” SupaKoopa714
“Top Gun: Maverick” Khan4269 “The Town That Dreaded Sundown” YouJustLostThe_Game
“A Good Woman Is Hard to Find” SnarlsChickens “What’s Up, Doc?” [0phicleide]
"Jesus Shows You the Way to the Highway” jasap1029 “Contempt” CowNchicken12
“Calibre” [apogliaghi] "Hara-Kiri” LutanHojef
“Jonaki” [TomTomatillo] "Singin’ in the Rain” [ManaPop.com*]
“What We Do in the Shadows" lady-frog2187 “Caged” (1950) GhostOfTheSerpent
“Bad Lieutenant - Port of Call New Orleans” [Nausiccaa1*] “How Green Was My Valley” MBAMBA3
submitted by Twoweekswithpay to movies [link] [comments]


2022.06.12 16:30 Twoweekswithpay What is the Best Film You Watched Last Week? (06/05/22-06/12/22)

The way this works is that you post a review of the best film you watched this week. It can be any new or old release that you want to talk about.
{REMINDER: The Threads Are Posted On Sunday Mornings. If Not Pinned, They Will Still Be Available in the Sub.}
Here are some rules:
1. Check to see if your favorite film of last week has been posted already.
2. Please post your favorite film of last week.
3. Explain why you enjoyed your film.
4. ALWAYS use SPOILER TAGS: [Instructions]
5. Best Submissions can display their [Letterboxd Accts] the following week.
Last Week's Best Submissions:
Film Use[LBxd] Film Use[LB/YT*]
“Top Gun: Maverick” [HardcoreHenkie] "The Big Lebowski” OldBobbyPeru
"RRR” [LiteraryBoner] “Sling Blade” Ninja_Bum
“Mard Ko Dard Nahin Hota (The Man Who Feels No Pain)” [AneeshRai7] “Baraka” Jade_GL
“Hearts Beat Loud” IWishIHavent “Cinema Paradiso” yaboytim
“Brooklyn” SnarlsChickens “Full Metal Jacket” EliotRosewaterJr
"Chef” sayyes2heaven “Maurice” a_kid_a_91
“Changeling” [JessieKV] "The Mirror” [Nausiccaa1*]
“Days of Glory” (2006) ElSordo91 "Fail-Safe” [deadandmessedup]
“A Scanner Darkly" [CDynamo] “Le Doulos” [TomTomatillo]
“You Can Count on Me” GhostOfTheSerpent “12 Angry Men” [liloa]
submitted by Twoweekswithpay to movies [link] [comments]


2022.04.18 19:13 RoboSpongie [PC] [90s-2000s] Typing Game that's like Mavis Beacon but with cartoon animals and characters

Platform(s): PC
Genre: Edutainment + Typing
Estimated year of release: 90s - 2000s
Graphics/art style: 2D cartoon art style that's Looney Tunes esque plus clipart looking cartoon style
Notable characters: If I recall there's a hippo character somewhere in a barnyard and there's toony chickens in the background
Notable gameplay mechanics: It's discount Mavis Beacon with minigames like being in a barnyard or other fun locations
Other details: Memory is fuzzy at this point the most I remember is that characters will go like "your hands are not in the typing position!" which freaked me out as a kid when I played this game when I was in elementary school
submitted by RoboSpongie to tipofmyjoystick [link] [comments]


2022.03.27 16:30 Twoweekswithpay What is the Best Film You Watched Last Week? (03/20/22-03/27/22)

The way this works is that you post a review of the best film you watched this week. It can be any new or old release that you want to talk about.
{REMINDER: The Threads Are Posted On Sunday Mornings. If Not Pinned, They Will Still Be Available in the Sub.}
Here are some rules:
1. Check to see if your favorite film of last week has been posted already.
2. Please post your favorite film of last week.
3. Explain why you enjoyed your film.
4. ALWAYS use SPOILER TAGS: [Instructions]
5. Best Submissions can display their [Letterboxd Accts] the following week.
Last Week's Best Submissions:
Film Use[LB/YT*] Film Use[LBxd]
"X” [Zer0Progress*] "Compliance” SnarlsChickens
"The Outfit” yaboytim “Bright Star” [Kweekwegg]
“Everything Everywhere All at Once” [chrispmorgan] “Office Space” [AlexMarks182]
“The Tragedy of Macbeth” (2021) spiderlegged “The Celebration” [lenny48]
“Drive My Car” [BringontheSword] “Jerry Maguire” [JerseyElephant]
"Words Bubble Up Like Soda Pop” Solocaster1991 “The Long Kiss Goodnight” raymondcy
“Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar” [NicoleKats] "Amadeus” [Reinaldo_14]
“Blue Story” Naase1 "The Deer Hunter” RichardOrmonde
“The Odd Family: Zombie on Sale” [RStorm] “The Apu Trilogy: Pather Panthali, Aparajito, & Apu Sansar” Doclillywhite
“The Resurrection of Jake the Snake” lifeisawork_3300 “Easy Living” (1937) ldyeve
submitted by Twoweekswithpay to movies [link] [comments]


2022.03.15 17:21 saltylife11 Gorilla Marketing Poster Idea???

I have an idea to make a poster like you would see in schools about the solar system or whatever that have exploded diagrams and charts. However, the intention isn't to put the posters up in school, but to post them online and perhaps put them up in bus stops or other places gorilla marketing style.
It would start with one benign poster like "How flour is made" and have cartoonish clipart style smiling figures of a farmer and a wheat field and tractor and legitimately illustrate all the steps ending with a the finished manufactured product of a package of flour on a grocery store shelf. It should not simplify the industrialization and scale of factory flour production. I think it's important to highlight that an advanced mechanized systematic and repeatable process is required to take this unusual shaped plant and make it into a commodified cube shaped product that is consumable from a grocery store.
However, that is just a set up to introduce the concept for a series of posters that is just factual ... and oh! by the way! ...now let's do milk... and have the same smiling cartoonish farmer and style.
Of course with a cube shaped commodified carton of milk you include the whole process just like the way flour was done including the separation of calves after 24 hours, the slaughter of the male calves.
Do the same for eggs, chicken, bacon, etc. Make a series with the same smiling farmer and factory farm worker. It would be as if the posters themselves are blind to the horror of their own message and just seem to be intentionally communicating, "Isn't industrialization a marvel!?"
The meat and dairy industries paint this picture of "Happy Cows produce Happy Milk" and do not talk about what goes into manufacturing these products. For the most part I think people are not making an active decision about the consumption of these products based on considered insight into how they are made. This method is non confrontational but also a bit tongue and cheek. I feel like people are more likely to consider veganism if they feel like they came to that decision themselves instead of had their cultural values attacked.
Is this a bad idea?
Is this a project others could help me with?
I am not a great graphic designer. I think a suitable team would be someone who is very familiar with the factory farming process for animal based products. I'm guessing first a storyboard/script could be created for a graphic design team to work from.
submitted by saltylife11 to vegan [link] [comments]


2021.11.06 20:00 Gorynch 1v1 Tournament: Apocalypse: Sam L. vs. Sora Stratus

Story

At times, you think you've seen everything in the apocalypse, then stuff like this happens.
A giant merry go round, suspended above a volcano, what crazy person creates this stuff.
I saw it with my own eyes and asked about any stories relating to it.
Turns out some madman had trapped two unfortunate souls up there and made them fight to the death. Standard apocalypse stuff.
I was surprised to find out, the fight was between a Mr. Sam L. and a Ms. Sora Stratus
Last I heard, Sam L. was taking on hoards of zombies.
While Sora was flying above a chocolate-covered disaster on Sweet Mountain.
Not too long after that, whilst both people were exhausted was when someone snatched them up and trapped them above that volcano.

Map

Terror-go-round (pic)

1v1 Rules

Fighters must defeat their opponent. This can either be murder or by making your opponent incapable of fighting.

Fighters

Sam L. u/DrAnvil
vs.
Sora Stratus u/peppermint_green

Who will win?

Vote here

Which map do you choose for the first round of Escort?

  1. Why Did the Chicken Cross the Country
  2. Sonorous Dark
  3. Hunter's Jungle
  4. Heliodor Castle
Vote here

Bracket

Deadlines

Map voting ends at 19:00 GMT 8/11/2021
This round will end at 19:00 GMT 9/11/2021
submitted by Gorynch to HatsuVault [link] [comments]


2021.09.15 02:54 dicklim39 Chicken svg bundle hand drawn hen svg rooster svg chicken svg funny crazy chicken lady svg chicken whisperer svg chicken clipart by SagarashiVisuals

Chicken svg bundle hand drawn hen svg rooster svg chicken svg funny crazy chicken lady svg chicken whisperer svg chicken clipart by SagarashiVisuals submitted by dicklim39 to FreeSvgFiles [link] [comments]


2021.07.25 16:34 Twoweekswithpay What is the Best Film You Watched Last Week? (07/18/21-07/25/21)

The way this works is that you post a review of the best film you watched this week. It can be any new or old release that you want to talk about.
{REMINDER: The Threads Are Posted On Sunday Mornings. If Not Pinned, They Will Still Be Available in the Sub.}
Here are some rules:
1. Check to see if your favorite film of last week has been posted already.
2. Please post your favorite film of last week.
3. Explain why you enjoyed your film.
4. ALWAYS use SPOILER TAGS: [Instructions]
5. Best Submissions can display their [Letterboxd Accts] the following week.
Last Week's Best Submissions:
Film Use[LBxd] Film Use[LB/Web*]
"A Classic Horror Story" [JessieKV] "Funny Games” (2007) [TarunNihariya]
"Fear Street: Part Two-1978" Supakoopa714 “Born to Fight” [JSkyTip]
“Nomadland” ElSordo91 “Shrek 2" [Max_Delgado]
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood" bob1689321 "Chicken Run” [ManaPop.com*]
“Long Shot” an_ordinary_platypus "The Frighteners” [Jslk]
"One Cut of the Dead” VJDargil “War of the Roses” whatzgood
“A Taxi Driver" [HardcoreHenkie] "Midnight Run” [Cw2e]
“The Nile Hilton Incident" EdctOfEnlghtnmnt "Blue Velvet” [boukbucketlist]
“Mommy" [Trent Brooks] “Body Heat” [BrendanLittle]
“The Master" [AyubNor] “Ace in the Hole” [Cinephile472002]
submitted by Twoweekswithpay to movies [link] [comments]


2021.04.24 00:58 dicklim39 Clip art clipart burger pizza svg, Clip art clipart fry chicken svg, Clip art clipart french fries, Clip art clipart mcdonal PNG by SagarashiVisuals

Clip art clipart burger pizza svg, Clip art clipart fry chicken svg, Clip art clipart french fries, Clip art clipart mcdonal PNG by SagarashiVisuals submitted by dicklim39 to FreeSvgFiles [link] [comments]


2021.02.17 03:58 dicklim39 Clip art clipart burger pizza svg, Clip art clipart fry chicken svg, Clip art clipart french fries, Clip art clipart mcdonal PNG by SagarashiVisuals

Clip art clipart burger pizza svg, Clip art clipart fry chicken svg, Clip art clipart french fries, Clip art clipart mcdonal PNG by SagarashiVisuals submitted by dicklim39 to FreeSvgFiles [link] [comments]


2021.02.11 18:59 Brewster_McCloud_Jr A long Zelda loving blog by an old man who has yet to play BotW

Zelda 35: Outlook on the ages
8:28 AM on 02.08.2021 (server time) 0
A stretch of green pasture rolls out before me, hills, rivers, forests, villages, caves, swamps, mountain(s) and one big castle is a familiar landscape of unfixed size and design. Equipped with nothing but a sword and shield (and fire lantern by this stage) to tackle every secret and challenger it offered. Looking outward towards all of the adventuring playground felt so large and dangerous for a young child, unaware how their imagination would continue to be outdone by Links later arsenal. I always named my main character Link, because Link is my hero of this story and fit far better after naming my family and food in Earthbound every iteration in exploiting all of the NPC’s dialogue, laughing at them being doomed to compliment my choice of inputted letters.
When I was a young sapling of a human, with a mind eager to be full to the brim with gaming lore, I read and re-read Nintendo power magazines because children will drink up entertainment to mind numbing lengths, and within I saw several different styled artist portrayals of Link. There was the old fashioned link who resembled some sort of clipart pagan knight, the young Link from SmashBros’/Majoras Mask, there was chibi cel-shaded Link and of course there was badass adult OOT Link. I attempted to draw all of them but I was naturally drawn to the adventures of young Link.
-- I was unable to dig up my old drawings on account of the timing of this post but see the original link for my sketch up of little Link.
An old Pokemon save that I had been carefully crafting was corrupted on a battered GB cartridge and so something else had to be slotted in rather than put it down and go outside. In went Links Awakening and up opened a new world.
It was there within Links awakening did I enjoy sandy beaches, looked up at strange mountains, I cut grass over and over and over when my parents begged me to do something even remotely similar in reality, and the magical feather that granted Link a jump button which collided universes with the jumping Mario lands so much so that that chain chomper in the town HAD to be more than just a fun add-in.
So I went in search of chests and heart pieces. At the time for me there was no more noble task. I thought myself a hit with the ladies.Links awakening was probably the first game I sought out every secret and fight without caring if an older brother could get me out of that mess. I can think of no more fitting rite of passage... for me.
There were massive revelations in collision detection which are larger and wider than what I had previously witnessed. The fact that Link could turn toward the enemy projectile, facing like a obese human target unafraid of the canon being fired at their gut, the bullet simply disintegrates upon impact with a light \tink** sound and with that sound shattered my gaming minds eye. Pokemon this was not. Monkey Island this was not at all like. Such revelation gave confidence to my handle grip on the sword/gameboy and I went flailing like a mad man. With hindsight I should feel sorry for Link being controlled by a young child too eager for a reaction from every living thing that my sword could collide with.
A great deal of the series Heroic journey in a whimsical and ‘fairy-tale’ like setting is arguably been seeped into much of my own interests and what I am drawn to in media. A small boy/teenager who is facing a labyrinth of monsters of varying scales, long before Demon Souls took a more dark and literal take on this. It wasn’t long ago that I played ‘Marvelous: Another Treasure Island’ and seen Aonuma’s happy-feeling world building skills on full display as being a great deal of what I admired about Zelda, and seeing how there are many small pieces which make up different sides of the experience.
Oracle of seasons showed me environmental changes that WarioLand 3 had only displayed to me before, for me that was what Zelda brought out, a world where depending on my choice of tools to interact with the environment, will reveal more hidden treasures. Seeing things not be fixed in a game and it change as progress continues was a neat feature back then before that became a game by itself. Input and output are digital processes that keep proving to be rewarding.
It was not long before A Link to The Past was infront of me and a controller was made available. I don't remember the date but I remember how it went.
This lead to the next best and greatest gaming learning experience which was that it was funny to whack chickens with a sword, doing what even a young me knew full well was savage and cruel in the real world was just a boys will be boys action in the gaming world. Separation from reality was enabling my impulses to try out what should not be done without consequence. Thankfully my insistence on finding where the game would fight back came via a chicken storm of reinforcements which would prove greater than any other enemy in the game. There was and still is few game environmental punishments as impactful and as terrifying as when those chickens taught me that if I want to play in this world then, after a line gets crossed, the game would resist me inflicting any action not lessened by compassion.
Nowadays I see that some Zeldas puzzles are indeed a consumer friendly version of Adventures of Lolo and there were times the challenge was just right for my little hyper headspace. I was seeped in triforce lore and hyrule secrets and wondering why the Zoras looked like sea-dragon monsters in a Link to the Past but Nintendos polygon designs of Zoras in the 3D games were either rockstars or mermaids.
The image of a small boy within the forest stood upon a tree stump playing a flute that drew all the animals around him and coming close meant they all scattered, then the boy disappears. That was the simple visual power of early Zelda games that while certainly is intact in later entries, there was a power to when the early games kept the appearance of speech bubbles as few as possible.
A Links Awakening was re-released in color. A cardridge was again purchased because little that was sacred survived the storm of childhood wrath.
Navigating the neon bright coloured pixels that shaped the landscape of Links awakening was a sight that when beheld was truly odd but wonderful in equal amounts. I adore the weird side of Zelda that many people have pointed out when the developers spent too long in the cold steely side of realistic Hyrule that Ocarina sowed adoration for. Now anyone who has seen the Shadow temple in OOT will know that game contains out right horror, but the followup game on that console is a peyote trip. To me those colours, those simple sound effects, those charming three or four sprite animations of the NPCs walk cycles and that menu screen of what looked like a big Yoshi egg were all what Nintendo was for me. A Link to the Pasts mirror dark world felt like these developers letting out this wild side, I adored how every corner seemed rife with danger and the dark imagery that turned the happy world inside out. Later entries would build a greater aesthetic for what would become Zelda with Ocarina showing world building that no one had even expected from the Mario factory. It’s triumphs like those that remind me why Nintendo chooses carefully with Donkey Kong and Metroid.
One day my impressionable and bored mind, moody just looking at the threshold of teenage-hood, would be granted some playtime with Wind Waker before my older siblings came home and took over by force. When my hands steered that controller through a fresh new world, my brain soon overwrought Mario 64 gameplay muscle memory or how Majoras Link controlled and introduced me to how Zelda could have pirates and sailing and I was convinced that Nintendo was in direct communication with the dreamscape of every adventurous young boy and was finding ways to make them all come true in a game. ‘This was what I wanted and then some’, I thought to myself and now only they could let me play as a brooding wolf.
I have FourSwords on my to-play list since I now (finally) live with someone tolerant enough of me to play with me from the same room. I’m sure it will be a surprisingly enjoyable experience.I got pretty far into Minish cap when I had to return it to a friend but it was fun while it lasted.
Twilight princess came out around the time when I was done with colourful things and focused on things that resembled a cold world view outside our warm homes where struggling as part of living was a more grounded way of life. In a few years media would capitalise on ‘grit’ settings and tone when really all of my attention could be enslaved by something with an engaging story and heart (even if teenage me would have never used such words) and thankfully there was a handful of tonally challenging moments that certainly gave me what I wanted in a Zelda styled package. But this was traditional days, when the formula wasn’t to abandon it but double down and try and fine tune every gear, re-examine every bolt for efficiency, make the best version of that machine before you re-invent the wheel. Maybe a re-release will adjust the difficulty and make that game its most perfect version, if they can resist other adjustments like shortening the wolf segments or removing Links horrific demon face.
The issue being that Zelda showed my own love of these traditional formulas, I personally would have been fine with the Yettie mansion in Twilight Princess being the direction of how we would change it up going forward. This is why I’m suited to the role of game player and not a game maker.
I played both DS Zelda entries which were further exercise in showing the gimmicks the series would enjoy rolling out to make them appealing but I actually found the gameplay to be what I had enjoyed from older top down Zelda games, it is nice to be given a game that reminds you of a style and setting that you didn’t even know you missed. And Spirit tracks has some of the finest puzzle design on that system, Nintendo was throwing money at these and whoever was at the helm of the ship or train was steering it well even if it wasn’t for everyone.
Skyward Sword was released and the early gameplay promotional material showed it as a convergence of weird goofy Nintendo and the other styled they had so tried and tested (and perfected?) earlier and while I had fun it simplified world and new angles on dungeons felt more closer to what Okami had done before (no objections) or regardless it showed me that Zelda had to change with the times. The formula was in need of an overhaul if it was to survive in the new expanding gaming landscape and this was fine by me, I had played other grittier games and had even tried making a few of my own and I knew that the place Zelda held in my heart and mind would be shelved when love of alcohol and playing music would overwrite such things. I had finished Vice City without any cheats or sibling assistance, if there was an achievement to wear as medal of manhood I fancied myself as decorated with and envied for it.
It was encouraging as a cynical gamer who saw Skyrim as a new potent realm for adventure, that Zelda was improving its graphics and looking sharper and brighter than ever while seeming to expand more in options of interactivity, never allowing anything in the game which fall into 'collectable' done in quantity had to be executed with quality. A few franchises I shared almost equal love alongside or after Zelda did not prioritise such things as times and industry grew more advanced. In an age where anything held at deep reverence is rightfully up for skepticism, I still take a happy breath when my memory returns to these games.
I have not played A Link Between Worlds because I never owned a 2/3DS. I expect I will love it once emulation and my understanding of it catches up.
I have not played Breath of the Wild, there is now grey in my hair and I spent my own money on a PC rather than a Switch, a decision I’m sure I will regret when the next sequel gets announced. I’m happy Zelda took the extra leap after Skyward Sword and became something new to match modern sky-high standards for adventuring, interaction and customising. Maybe we will have a female link, maybe Link will look how you design him/her, maybe you’ll have carriage or an airship since horses have been overdone.
I’m no great fan of story being retold in restructured ways, even if we know where it ends up (hot potato ball of light boss battle followed up by pig God throwdown). People will turn out to see a Shakespeare play with a new cast and setting, or a remake of a classic movie with practically the same script or a movie so studio engineered you can see the story beats on the poster, or whatever the hell the FF7 remake is doing. Point is, Zelda is a simple formula and the destination has never been the core or even the best part of the experience, or so I assume, theres a type of player for every game type these days.
I was a child forced to give up adventuring in favour of studies and education and in fear living my life out without ever exiting my hometown which was scarce of adventure, but for quite a while the controller in my hand was forgotten by my mind and it was the extension which wield Links many weapons.
The greenest pastures around me were fields with land ownerships laws and cattle that really would gang up and fight back if I came at them, and any caves would most likely have made me into a missing persons case. That is a strange view of looking back at my past self but maybe writing the sentence will help me accept it was closer to the truth than I can see from an internal perspective.
Link will always be there, ready for me to guide him through the next dark cavern or against the next beast blocking my path or whichever item was placed to help me realise my potential and help me push that block over that switch with a satisfying *click* followed by a unlock jingle.
Maybe Zelda is entering into a whole new chapter and Aonuma and Miyamoto won’t be around forever in order to oversee that the ship stays on course and maybe that will be for the better and it could be that what Zelda once held for me is in the past among many wonderful entires where I can forever go back and relive those grand adventures. Or maybe they’ll just remake Link to the Past and have me truly won over and Zelda at 45 will tell of how it saved me from the path that leads away from gaming and excitement of future green pastures is ahead, we can dream.
submitted by Brewster_McCloud_Jr to truezelda [link] [comments]


2021.01.16 19:25 Butonewalkingshadow ♆ Sojourner, recalled. ♆ - 『Kalura Silverwood, daughter of Zeus Horkios』

“Be strong, saith my heart; I am a sailor;
I have seen worse sights than this.” ― Homer, The Odyssey
[OOC: Credit to our very own Shining_Bright for editing in Kalura's tattoos!]
[Kalura Silverwood]
Kalura Silverwood might be her name, but it's not how she'll introduce herself- or, at least, not her last name. The seafaring tradition she grew up in dictates that full names only be reserved for those close to you, and you will not be close to her. Born on a ship and likely to die on one as well, she's spent more of her life with wood under her boots and salt in her blood than she has on dry land. And why shouldn't she?
After all, her lineage stretched back far into the ides of history, to the era of medieval Africa and Spain, and to the sea between them; the Mediterranean. The progenitor of her line was Ishak Barbarossa, the third of the notorious Barbarossa siblings; and from there, it spread. To get into the details would be a long and taxing read, so it will suffice to say that her family tree's most prominent roots come from the Barbary Coast and the Iberian Peninsula; from African sea-kings and their Bey counterparts in the north. Certainly it can be told from her appearance alone that she's from a diverse heritage, if her ability to speak English and French as fluently as Arabic and Tamazight was not enough. She's spent eighteen years under the skies, and she fully intends to spend the rest just as she always has; with the ever-present roll and echo of the sea under her feet and in her ears.
[Powers]
Zeus Horkios was the aspect of Zeus that represented oaths and the defender of their sanctity. Exposed liars were made to dedicate a votive statue to Zeus, often at the sanctuary at Olympia.
The Oath: Kalura is able to ratify an oath that a person takes, whether that be herself or someone else. It has two active parts: The Oathmaker and The Oathbreaker.
The Oathmaker part allows her to ratify this oath: if the person sees it to fruition, they receive a temporary blessing in accordance, whether this be a bit of extra luck, and increase of combat capability, or such and so forth.
The Oathbreaker is the part that allows her to punish those who do not keep their oaths, usually in the form of severe physical recompense such as a Trial by Lightning, disabling a power, or something far more debilitating.
The greater the Oath, the more power it takes to ratify it, and the greater the boon or repercussion might be. In order to ratify a strong Oath, Kalura must spend several days in prayer and fasting on behalf of the person, something she herself wouldn't be keen on doing without a damn good reason.
Regardless, the stronger the Oath that must be ratified, the longer it would take for her to do it. Once ratified, the boon itself would also be stronger, and the more dangerous breaking it would be, perhaps even to the point of having to repay the broken Oath in flesh.
The way The Oath works in OOC is that once you manage to procure one, myself and the rest of the mods will consider your Oath, including whether or not it’s a desire that deserves an admittedly Overpowered power’s backing. This discussion includes the boon that would be conferred as well as the punishment for failure. You will be given a layout to fill out, after which the mods will discuss, take further input if needed, and make the decision on whether or not you will pass or fail the Oath, as well as a time limit in which to finish it. Understand this is a power that is not to be taken lightly, and will not be used often.
Electrokinesis: What daughter of the Allfather would Kalura be if she could not draw from the same well of power? Kalura is capable of generating lightning and manipulating static electricity, whether it be from the skies or from a conduit. Although she’s nowhere near the strength that her father has- she’s not capable of producing thunderstorms or anything of that sort- a half-dozen bolts or so are right up her alley.
Farsight: An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, true: but in the land of the blind, the one-eyed woman reigns Queen. Kalura's one eye provides far greater sight than most people have with two. Although her eyesight is enhanced through this power to a reasonable degree, its real strength lies in the clarity it offers her: Kal's eyesight is unaffected by anything that tries to obstruct it, be it nighttime, fog, foul weather, smoke, and so on.
Electrical Immunity: To an extent, Kalura does not feel the effects of a shock half as bad as her unfortunate enemies do.
Despite her mother being a daughter of Heracles- and, as such, technically making Kalura a legacy- Zeus's divine lineage is far more powerful than a minor god's, even one as prominent as Heracles. The Heraclean blood that flows in her veins is small, and really, the boons they confer- of her height and general ease in putting on muscle- are more likely something from her mother than her grandfather. There is no superhuman strength nor divinely enhanced capability with weapons; no ability to conduct the powers of others through herself.
Yet, when your father is Zeus Horkios, is that truly a loss?
Appearance and Personality
Capping out at a startlingly tall 6'3", and with the physique of a woman who's spent her entire life raiding, fighting, exploring and swashbuckling, Kalura's presence is an impactful one; aided perhaps by the natural swagger of her shoulders, the way she seems perpetually at ease in the same way a tiger does, moments before it springs and exhumes the life of its prey through its throat.
Think of all the people you've met here at camp. Think about their old adage- that their trust, that their loyalty, is difficult to gain, but once you earn it, you have a friend for life.
Now, reverse that.
Understand that you are more than welcome to be friends with Kalura; she's certainly not unkind. You are more than welcome to trust Kalura; she's not one to betray that, nor does she come off as such. Indeed, you are welcome to love Kalura.
Understand that those feelings will never be reciprocated. She will be friendly- but not your friend. She will be someone you can put your trust in- she will not put her trust in you. You may love her- and she will acknowledge that you do- but she will not love you back. A heart of darkness encased in bitter sea-salt and ice has no want nor need to crack for even the warmest of sun rays.
Self-reliant to a fault, unwilling and unable to accept help, the path Kalura walks is one she carves through her own stubborn refusal to give up and grab an olive branch, even if the alternative is to fall and dash her life out on jagged rocks strewn in deep-running eddies. It is difficult to provoke her ire, but when this unenviable task is performed, reflections of this inner ice come frosting out; the daughter of Zeus fast reverts to the unwelcome silence of countless ship graveyards, her words clipped, her tone gruff and short.
Heaven help you should she take her little red notebook out and scribble something down in it; for any slight or fault done to her will be repaid in kind.
Kalura's sailing heritage is well reflected in her tattoos, each telling a different story.
A nautical star graces each of her shoulders; one red, and the other green. The wearer of such a tattoo is one who has been involved with a bar fight in a foreign port, and came out the victor.
A shellback turtle on her left tricep shows that she's a member of King Neptune's Court, initiated as such after she crossed the Equator for the first time.
Swallows flutter just below her collarbones; she's sailed 10,000 miles, and will sail many more.
A pig and a chicken skitter on the inner sides of her feet; a good luck charm meant to stave off drowning.
On the back of her left shoulder is a simple wave tattoo, the one that represents the most common epithet she'll introduce herself by- Wavechaser. For a girl who's sailed wave after wave ever since she was born, it seems fitting.
Between fluttering swallows lies an Ouroboros, one of her few non-traditional tattoos. Much how it depicts a cycle without end, it, too, represents where Kalura's loyalties lie: with the sea. She was born to the waters; she will die in the waters, and spend her entire life on those waters. Her family's lineage will continue on, and she has no intention of breaking it.
On her right arm's bicep is an Eastern Dragon, a tattoo which means that she has docked in Asian ports.
On the back of her right shoulder is a Blackheart, and the story you will never know.
The style of fighting Kalura specialized in was one far suited for fighting on an unsteady deck, rather than dry land. Strapped on her back was a quarterstaff, simple in nature with iron-wrought studs and celestial bronze mixed into the alloy; attached to it by a length of chain was a lantern, durable enough to smash the lights out of someone and functional enough to keep its own light on. Around her right forearm, a length of silver chain wrapped around her wrist, with a smaller weight at the very end. They were unusual weapons, to be sure; but they offered versatility, and when you couldn’t ever guarantee the ground under your feet would remain stable, flexibility was more important than sheer strength.
More to the point, when you’ve spent your life on deck, your only companion being your goliath of a mother who’s sheer size and power meant she had no real reason to worry about developing a professional style, you need to learn your own way of fighting. Kalura’s style was dirty; it pulled no punches. Dirt in the eyes was as acceptable as a kick to the crotch; fake-outs and improvised weapons were far more useful than a bold declaration to fight honorably. The winner was the one who remained standing; not the one who insisted on fighting according to their standards. You take any advantage you can humanely get, and when there isn’t any to grab, you make your own.
[Arrival]
It’s a lovely sunny morning when a decently sized ship is spotting heading in on the camp’s beach, and who should be sitting on its long prow but Kalura. Leaning against a thick rope pulled taut, her balance is nothing short of perfect as she dangles a leg over the side of the horizontal pole, cigarette loosely grasped between two knuckles. Her smile- reaching up one side of her face, more amused than happy- is noticeable only when the ship docks closer, and she takes a lazy drag from it, exhaling as behind her, the crew that her mother sent with this simple ship- it certainly wasn’t the Ifrit Almuhit- begins to unload hundreds upon hundreds of planks, all of different thicknesses and sizes. As the distant din of camp returns to her ears, she can’t help but chuckle lazily as she finishes off her cigarette, stubs the butt out with her tongue and pockets it.
Remaining on the prow, she looks over at the camp from which she had disappeared from.
Here again.
OOC: COURT IS BACK IN MOTHERFUCKING SESSION BABY
submitted by Butonewalkingshadow to CampHalfBloodRP [link] [comments]


2020.12.02 04:05 justeeee Longshot: looking for a sauce, can't remember the name

I'm doing my Christmas shopping and my fiance loves hot sauce. He bought one at the grocery store a year or so ago and really liked it. I think it was a red sauce, not green. But the only other thing I remember about it is that the back label had recommendations of what you could put it on. The recommendations were in the form of like basic clipart animals. It had like chicken, cow, and dinosaur. So we called it dino sauce (it's not the dino BBQ brand).
Does anyone else remember this hot sauce that is delicious on today's animals AND extinct ones?
submitted by justeeee to hotsauce [link] [comments]


2020.10.10 16:41 LineGraf Lunch 10/10: Happy Birthday Cassie! (Fast Food Buffet)

(Skip to the end for the menu)
-----
The previous day, in Bunker Nine…
“Hey, Tristan?” Brandon speaks up while he was in the middle of performing routine maintenance on one of his elite automatons. The son of Hephaestus didn’t even look up from his work since he figured this conversation wasn’t exactly important enough for that, but he felt that it was at least important enough to bring up as background noise for another busy but otherwise uneventful day at the Bunker.
In a similar manner, Tristan’s attention mostly remained on the holographic image being projected from one of Albireo’s new contraptions: the son of Techne had finally gotten the hang of holography, and the first thing he chose to use it for was to create a comprehensive map of Camp and the surrounding area, and his extreme level of detail pretty much demanded Tristan’s unmatched surveying ability.
“Yeah?” the son of Zeus replies, entirely uninterested at the moment but at least willing to lend an ear. Soon enough, he would be very glad that he did.
“You do know Cassie’s birthday is tomorrow, right?”
And there it was. Such a simple question, but enough to snap Tristan out of his focus on his current work, eliciting an almost incredulous “WHAT!?”
Yyyep. Just thought you might like to know.” the forgemaster remained completely nonchalant – and for good reason, since this wasn’t exactly a huge bombshell as far as anyone was concerned. Anyone but Tristan, at least.
The son of Zeus was up and almost outta there, his previous task all but forgotten, leaving his erstwhile coworker with only a hasty apology.
“Sorry, Albireo, but I gotta get Lukas and-” before he could leave, however – or even finish his sentence – Brandon would pipe up yet again.
“Nope, don’t even bother asking him for anything more than cake. Lukas is gonna slap you upside the head with a baguette if you ask him to cook what she likes to eat. ” and with that, Brandon finally decides to act on the pity he felt for probably the worst boyfriend at camp at the moment, taking a scrap of paper and scrawling down a few telephone numbers on it.
“Here you go. Find a way to call these places for food. You’re on your own now from here on out, so get going.”
------
Now…
It wasn’t particularly pretty or anything, but Tristan figured – or rather, hoped it was enough.
The only thing that gave any indication that this was supposed to be a birthday celebration was the chocolate-strawberry cake that had “Happy Birthday Cassie!” written in frosting and two numerical candles that showed the number 17. Lukas’ work, of course, as was made obvious by the jarring contrast between that piece of confectionary art and the rest of the meal: an honest-to-goodness buffet of fast food offerings that came in those heated buffet trays, complete with little signs that told everyone where Tristan had to order them from. Y’know, just in case it wasn’t obvious enough that this was just fast food catering…
Menu:
Chick-Fil-A
Shake Shack
-Shroom Burger (comes with or without cheese filling for vegetarians or vegans)
Five Guys
Dessert:
Drinks
submitted by LineGraf to CampHalfBloodRP [link] [comments]


2020.04.27 08:37 Butonewalkingshadow ♆ From an Unknown Tide, She Sails. ♆ - 『Kalura Silverwood, daughter of Zeus Horkios』

And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.
— Haruki Murakami
[OOC: Credit to our very own Shining_Bright for editing in Kalura's tattoos!]
"GODS, DAMN IT!" In the middle of a storm, a giant of a woman shakes her fist angrily at the fast-retreating kraken, its giant tentacles towing away a ship as it fled. Several of its limbs were cut off- one eye, damaged beyond all repair. A monster as fierce as the Kraken was not unintelligent, however, and even as it swam away, it had taken the ship responsible for such damage, it's wild thrashing launching captain and daughter alike off the decks and into the emergency dhow. "YOU GET BACK HERE WITH MY SHIP, DAMN YOU!" She roars, her daughter more preoccupied with coughing up the seawater salting up her lungs. Icy rain whips and lashes both, and the ship can only just barely keep itself upright, the waves rocking it with dangerous intent.
"For-" The girl coughs again, hacking out more seawater and wiping her mouth as she looks up, scowling while her mother insults the squid in a variety of different languages. "For fuck's sakes, mum. What's yelling at it going to do?"
"MAKES ME FEEL BETTER WHILE I WAIT FOR YOU TO GET ON YOUR FEET," She growls, rolling her sleeves up and glancing down at her daughter. She can't help but click her tongue as Kal coughed up more seawater, helping her up to her feet and giving her back a few hard thumps.
"Ow, mum, watch it."
"I BARELY HIT YOU, KIDDO."
"You're the child of Heracles, not me," Kal counters, grimacing as she takes stock of the situation. Their emergency boat had two weeks of provisions tucked away, along with a sextant, not at all enough for two people. "Fuck," She curses again. "What now?"
"I'M GETTING MY BOAT BACK." The statement is delivered with steel and malice, and Kal has to take a moment to glance up at her mom. She's long since stopped questioning her decisions- you would, too, if you knew what she was capable of.
"Alright. What can I do?"
"YOU TAKE THE BOAT. HEAD TO CAMP HALF-BLOOD. YOU REMEMBER THE LOCATION, RIGHT?"
"Yeah."
"TELL ME."
"40.7891 degrees north," Kal replies, their conversation terse and quick. It had to be- the storm was dangerous enough on its own, and the kraken was getting away. "73.1350 degrees West; but mum, it's two weeks from here. Three, maybe, with this boat."
"SO?"
"I've got a week of rations."
"WHAT'S YOUR POINT?"
There would have been a time, perhaps, where Kal would have looked at her mother with shock and disbelief, told her it's impossible! But now, she simply grunts as the ship rocks, wipes the water from her salt-stained lips. "It'll be a bit difficult, is all."
"YOU SAYING YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT?"
"Fam," Kal retorts, her tone clearly frustrated. "How the fuck do you get that from It's a bit difficult?"
"I'M JUST SAYING, IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN-"
"Your boat's getting away."
"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF-" Shamara scowls angrily as she turns her attention back to the kraken, now almost a blip on the horizon, hidden by the crashing waves and foul weather. "IT'S STILL IN THAT DIRECTION, RIGHT?"
"Right." Kalura's one eye is divinely focused.
"ALRIGHT. YOU SEND ME A LETTER AS SOON AS YOU GET TO CAMP, YOU HEAR?"
"Loud and clear," Kal replies, peeling herself out from under her mom's mammoth arm and towards the motor of the boat, starting to rev it hard. Might as well get all the fuel she could out of it before the oars had to come out. Her mom grins. "PERFECT. I LOVE YOU, SWEETIE."
"Love you too, mum," Kal mutters, her words drowned out by the crashing of thunder and waves alike as her mother launched herself from the ship and into the waters.
[Kalura Silverwood]
Kalura Silverwood might be her name, but it's not how she'll introduce herself- or, at least, not her last name. The seafaring tradition she grew up in dictates that full names only be reserved for those close to you, and you will not be close to her. Born on a ship and likely to die on one as well, she's spent more of her life with wood under her boots and salt in her blood than she has on dry land. And why shouldn't she?
After all, her lineage stretched back far into the ides of history, to the era of medieval Africa and Spain, and to the sea between them; the Mediterranean. The progenitor of her line was Ishak Barbarossa, the third of the notorious Barbarossa siblings; and from there, it spread. To get into the details would be a long and taxing read, so it will suffice to say that her family tree's most prominent roots come from the Barbary Coast and the Iberian Peninsula; from African sea-kings and their Bey counterparts in the north. Certainly it can be told from her appearance alone that she's from a diverse heritage, if her ability to speak English and French as fluently as Arabic and Tamazight was not enough. She's spent eighteen years under the skies, and she fully intends to spend the rest just as she always has; with the ever-present roll and echo of the sea under her feet and in her ears.
...but did you mean, perhaps, to refer to her mother and father?
Mother and Father.
A woman sits at a dive bar, and a man slides onto the seat next to her.
The difference between the two is rather stunning, really. The man was taller than most, but dwarfed by the woman. His skin was a far lighter shade of olive; his hair, streaked with gray. Shocking blue eyes gave contrast to a single black one, and there is silence.
"Can I help you?" The woman's voice is low, rumbling and gruff; a thunderous roll of strength in itself.
"I was going to ask you just that," The man replies. "I'm afraid I've got a bit too much money in my wallet, you see."
"Go on."
"I need something to spend it on."
The woman huffs, a smirk twitching at the side of her face.
"May I buy you a drink?"
"Won't say no to that," She replies, her own glass running low.
An order is given for two beers- they slide across the table, and come to rest in front of the two.
They drink.
"I take it you're not from here." Silence is broken by the man.
"Could say the same for you," The woman replies.
"You're not wrong. No, I'm from a place far from here; I will say, however, that Hong Kong does have a lovely selection of alcohol at its ports." He chuckles, sips from his glass. "The Chinese do know how to drink, don't they?"
Shamara Silverwood smirks, but remains quiet.
"That being said," The man continues, his tone relaxed; smooth as rolling cloud, but with power of its own. "I suppose a drink would hit the spot just about anywhere after a few months out at sea."
"Didn't take you for a sailor," She replies.
"Oh? And what led you to that conclusion?"
"You talk too much."
The man chuckles, and her smirk is more noticeable now.
"No," He concedes. "I'm afraid that matters related to water have never been my strong suit. That would be my brother's domain, really. That's not to say I'm not capable of it, mind you. I ended up here, didn't I?"
"Suppose you did."
He smiles.
"I will say, however," He adds, a bit of a tease creeping into his voice. "I didn't expect to find a woman around my age here, of all places."
"You calling me old?" The woman chuckles.
"Oh, I'd never. That's rather rude, after all. Never ask a woman her age or weight, no?" He winks, takes a sip from his glass. "Words of wisdom, really. Many a man would do well to follow them, but few do."
"You trying to chat me up?" Shamora's smirk is now fully formed, no longer the faintest of twitches.
"My answer depends on if it's working."
Both chuckle. The man was tall, but the woman was taller- around 8 inches taller than the 6'10" man, to be exact; not to mention a fair bit more muscular, too.
"Where you from?"
"Greece. Olympia, to be specific."
"Ain't no ports in Olympia, from what I've heard. You sail from Pyrgos?"
"No, no. From Olympia."
"Maybe you didn't hear what I-"
"I know what you said, Shamara." The main leans forward on the bar some, takes a sip of his beer and lets the silence grow.
"I'm sure you'll be wondering how I know your name."
"What gave it away?" Her voice is deeper now, a bit gruffer; a guarded growl, even if her position hasn't shifted.
"Heracles talks about you, from time to time," He replies, taking another drink of beer and polishing it off. The silence lingers, and this time, it's Shamara who breaks it.
"You're Zeus."
The man turns to her with a smile, a spark behind his sky-blue eyes.
"What gave it away?"
[Powers]
Zeus Horkios was the aspect of Zeus that represented oaths and the defender of their sanctity. Exposed liars were made to dedicate a votive statue to Zeus, often at the sanctuary at Olympia.
The Oath: Kalura is able to ratify an oath that a person takes, whether that be herself or someone else. It has two active parts: The Oathmaker and The Oathbreaker.
The Oathmaker part allows her to ratify this oath: if the person sees it to fruition, they receive a temporary blessing in accordance, whether this be a bit of extra luck, and increase of combat capability, or such and so forth.
The Oathbreaker is the part that allows her to punish those who do not keep their oaths, usually in the form of severe physical recompense such as a Trial by Lightning, disabling a power, or something far more debilitating.
The greater the Oath, the more power it takes to ratify it, and the greater the boon or repercussion might be. In order to ratify a strong Oath, Kalura must spend several days in prayer and fasting on behalf of the person, something she herself wouldn't be keen on doing without a damn good reason.
Regardless, the stronger the Oath that must be ratified, the longer it would take for her to do it. Once ratified, the boon itself would also be stronger, and the more dangerous breaking it would be, perhaps even to the point of having to repay the broken Oath in flesh.
The way The Oath works in OOC is that once you manage to procure one, myself and the rest of the mods will consider your Oath, including whether or not it’s a desire that deserves an admittedly Overpowered power’s backing. This discussion includes the boon that would be conferred as well as the punishment for failure. You will be given a layout to fill out, after which the mods will discuss, take further input if needed, and make the decision on whether or not you will pass or fail the Oath, as well as a time limit in which to finish it. Understand this is a power that is not to be taken lightly, and will not be used often.
Electrokinesis: What daughter of the Allfather would Kalura be if she could not draw from the same well of power? Kalura is capable of generating lightning and manipulating static electricity, whether it be from the skies or from a conduit. Although she’s nowhere near the strength that her father has- she’s not capable of producing thunderstorms or anything of that sort- a half-dozen bolts or so are right up her alley.
Farsight: An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, true: but in the land of the blind, the one-eyed woman reigns Queen. Kalura's one eye provides far greater sight than most people have with two. Although her eyesight is enhanced through this power to a reasonable degree, its real strength lies in the clarity it offers her: Kal's eyesight is unaffected by anything that tries to obstruct it, be it nighttime, fog, foul weather, smoke, and so on.
Electrical Immunity: To an extent, Kalura does not feel the effects of a shock half as bad as her unfortunate enemies do.
Despite her mother being a daughter of Heracles- and, as such, technically making Kalura a legacy- Zeus's divine lineage is far more powerful than a minor god's, even one as prominent as Heracles. The Heraclean blood that flows in her veins is small, and really, the boons they confer- of her height and general ease in putting on muscle- are more likely something from her mother than her grandfather. There is no superhuman strength nor divinely enhanced capability with weapons; no ability to conduct the powers of others through herself.
Yet, when your father is Zeus Horkios, is that truly a loss?
[Appearance and Personality]
Capping out at a startlingly tall 6'3", and with the physique of a woman who's spent her entire life raiding, fighting, exploring and swashbuckling, Kalura's presence is an impactful one; aided perhaps by the natural swagger of her shoulders, the way she seems perpetually at ease in the same way a tiger does, moments before it springs and exhumes the life of its prey through its throat.
Think of all the people you've met here at camp. Think about their old adage- that their trust, that their loyalty, is difficult to gain, but once you earn it, you have a friend for life.
Now, reverse that.
Understand that you are more than welcome to be friends with Kalura; she's certainly not unkind. You are more than welcome to trust Kalura; she's not one to betray that, nor does she come off as such. Indeed, you are welcome to love Kalura.
Understand that those feelings will never be reciprocated. She will be friendly- but not your friend. She will be someone you can put your trust in- she will not put her trust in you. You may love her- and she will acknowledge that you do- but she will not love you back. A heart of darkness encased in bitter sea-salt and ice has no want nor need to crack for even the warmest of sun rays.
Self-reliant to a fault, unwilling and unable to accept help, the path Kalura walks is one she carves through her own stubborn refusal to give up and grab an olive branch, even if the alternative is to fall and dash her life out on jagged rocks strewn in deep-running eddies. It is difficult to provoke her ire, but when this unenviable task is performed, reflections of this inner ice come frosting out; the daughter of Zeus fast reverts to the unwelcome silence of countless ship graveyards, her words clipped, her tone gruff and short.
Heaven help you should she take her little red notebook out and scribble something down in it; for any slight or fault done to her will be repaid in kind.
[OOC: Credit to our very own Shining_Bright for editing in Kalura's tattoos!]
One week into her journey, and she was doing...alright. The fuel had run out and she had begun to row, taking advantage of the waves whenever they pushed her where she had to go. Eating stale bread and salted meats wasn’t enjoyable, but it wasn’t like there was any other way to go about it. At the very least, the desalinator provided her with a steady supply of drinking water. At night, the stars guided her; in the morning, she’d follow out the chart she’d have made the night before, watching said stars. She had two waterproof bags, each with one week full of rations, and she guarded them religiously. Any wave could wash them over; any roll of her boat could do the same.
Cigarettes helped keep her spirits up. She wasn’t much in the mood to sing one of the songs her mother always was, even when she was the only being capable of speech for several hundred miles. With the sun beating down on her head, and her shoulders screaming from overuse, she could use any morale boost that she could get her hands on.
A few days in and the sunscreen had run out. The gnawing of hunger deep in her belly had become a constant companion, and the silence of the vast ocean was becoming unwelcoming. What kept her going was the fact that she was right on course; with the effort she had been putting in, she was certain she would reach camp in just another week, right on schedule.
Unfortunately, things don’t always go according to plan.
Kalura's sailing heritage is well reflected in her tattoos, each telling a different story.
A nautical star graces each of her shoulders; one red, and the other green. The wearer of such a tattoo is one who has been involved with a bar fight in a foreign port, and came out the victor.
A shellback turtle on her left tricep shows that she's a member of King Neptune's Court, initiated as such after she crossed the Equator for the first time.
Swallows flutter just below her collarbones; she's sailed 10,000 miles, and will sail many more.
A pig and a chicken skitter on the inner sides of her feet; a good luck charm meant to stave off drowning.
On the back of her left shoulder is a simple wave tattoo, the one that represents the most common epithet she'll introduce herself by- Wavechaser. For a girl who's sailed wave after wave ever since she was born, it seems fitting.
Between fluttering swallows lies an Ouroboros, one of her few non-traditional tattoos. Much how it depicts a cycle without end, it, too, represents where Kalura's loyalties lie: with the sea. She was born to the waters; she will die in the waters, and spend her entire life on those waters. Her family's lineage will continue on, and she has no intention of breaking it.
On her right arm's bicep is an Eastern Dragon,, a tattoo which means that she has docked in Asian ports.
On the back of her right shoulder is a Blackheart, and the story you will never know.
Fuck.” Kalura grits her teeth as she struggles to keep the boat on course, her feet planted firmly in the deck. The winds roar and lash the rain into her face, the rolling waves threatening to overthrow her. One girl in a small boat could only do so much, however, and she knew already she was thrown far off course; but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle.
It’s not until a particularly angry wave smashes into the side of the boat, however, and she sees one of her precious waterproof bags sail over the edge that she feels a jolt of alarm electrify her lungs.
Fuck!” She repeats, rushing to the side of the boat and desperately trying to grab the bag, the second half of her rations floating just out of reach, being carried away by the current. “No, no, no, no- shit!” Of course it was the second half, the one that had been untouched. Of course it was. “God damn it, no!” Her shouts of frustration are futile in nature, and even with the aid of her staff, she can’t get to it; it’s too far now, too far and rapidly growing farther, and she slumps against the side of her boat in defeat as she watches it be carried away by the current.
The style of fighting Kalura specialized in was one far suited for fighting on an unsteady deck, rather than dry land. Strapped on her back was a quarterstaff, simple in nature with iron-wrought studs and celestial bronze mixed into the alloy; attached to it by a length of chain was a lantern, durable enough to smash the lights out of someone and functional enough to keep its own light on. Around her right forearm, a length of silver chain wrapped around her wrist, with a smaller weight at the very end. They were unusual weapons, to be sure; but they offered versatility, and when you couldn’t ever guarantee the ground under your feet would remain stable, flexibility was more important than sheer strength.
More to the point, when you’ve spent your life on deck, your only companion being your goliath of a mother who’s sheer size and power meant she had no real reason to worry about developing a professional style, you need to learn your own way of fighting. Kalura’s style was dirty; it pulled no punches. Dirt in the eyes was as acceptable as a kick to the crotch; fake-outs and improvised weapons were far more useful than a bold declaration to fight honorably. The winner was the one who remained standing; not the one who insisted on fighting according to their standards. You take any advantage you can humanely get, and when there isn’t any to grab, you make your own.
[Arrival]
It’s a cool, foggy night when Kalura arrives at camp, her small boat damaged and weathered beyond reasonable wear and tear. It beaches, the sand squelching under the battered hull as she slowly stepped off of it. A week and a half of no food- no food aside from the occasional fish she managed to catch from improvised fishhooks- made it difficult to keep her strength up, and it was reflected in the sluggishness of her steps, the way her eyes remained unsteadily focused ahead of her. The thick fog certainly didn’t help matters, but she had a few matches left; one of which lit the lantern at the end of her staff, keeping it slung over her shoulder. It was enough illumination to see a few feet ahead of her; and judging by the din of camp not too far from her, she knew she had arrived. It had been...difficult, to say the very least, but she had arrived.
Her body slumps and she lets it; falls onto her knees in the soft sand, and leans back, mouth open and sucking in breath after grateful breath of air as the rain streaked down on her once more, her staff rolling off her shoulder and clattering onto the ground, the lantern still lit but flickering. From her pocket, she produces a pack; slowly takes out the last of the tobacco, presses it to her lips, and lights it with one last match, sucking in a deep cloud of toxin and exhaling as she closed her eye, her breathing still laboured, her body exhausted from such a trek. It ached and it screamed, aided in no part by the lack of food and the backbreaking exertion every day brought, of oars being paddled for hours on end. At the very least, she always had a steady supply of water; things would have been far worse without her desalinator. Had she her nectar and ambrosia, she would have been doing better; but alas, it was in that second bag.
But she had made it. In whatever condition she was in, in whatever state her being was, she had made it to safe harbor.
Camp Half-Blood.
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2020.02.26 19:28 r0bb6 How to convert a patch back to its original file

I have a patch and I need the logo off of it. It's custom so I cannot find it online.
I have really hi res pictures of the patch but I'm trying to get a clean digital logo rather than a picture of a piece of fabric. The original file is totally gone, been lost for decades.
Is there a good program or tool I could use besides just tracing the thing? I don't have steady enough hands to do that, I've been at it for hours and it still looks like shit. It looks fine where I can just put in a polygon, but anywhere that I need complex arcs I cannot figure out what to do.
It's basically a chicken Clipart so it isn't terribly complicated, made up entirely of pretty regular shapes. I just want it to look clean and professional but I don't know how.
Thanks for the help!
submitted by r0bb6 to answers [link] [comments]