Many of us strongly dislike her because of her movie, and I agree that her movie was a steaming pile of vomit made worse by the fact that it was backed by Autism Speaks. Now that she has revealed an autism diagnosis herself, I’ve seen a lot of autistic people online taking it in a very negative light.
That being said, there are some other things that can be taken into consideration that I think people are missing. She apologized for her movie prior to deleting her twitter account two years ago. She also stated that she based it on the real life experiences of an autistic person she knows. I can think back on my own journey with autism before I was diagnosed. I had a brother who was diagnosed at a young age with high support needs. Everything that I knew about autism came from PSAs I saw in school and on the internet during autism awareness month. My brother was the first autistic person I met, and that was the image of autism I had for a lot of my life. I love him and wanted to support him, and I even supported Autism Speaks at one time, because I didn’t know any better. I had always felt a connection and a strong sense of empathy with autistic people, and I thought it was because I had an autistic loved one. I was diagnosed in my mid-twenties.
That being said, Sia is a human being like the rest of us. She has made music that has centered around the notion of finding your inner self and inner strength in a world that feels unwelcoming. A lot of us on this thread know the confusion that comes with being late-diagnosed, and it isn’t too unreasonable to believe that her heart was in the right place all along. We might not like the way she went about her efforts (making the Music movie), but as I mentioned, she’s a human being and possibly didn’t know any better back then. Just the fact that she apologized is huge.
So I hope we can cut her some slack and see that she is not our enemy, she is one of us who made ignorant mistakes in the past, as I’m sure we all have

We’ve been together for almost a year & have known each other for 2. Throughout our relationship he’s told me i can fuck w other girls as long as he knows, i’ve never mentioned anything of the sort for him because where i’m at in life i’m not the most secure in myself - Our relationship isn’t where it needs to be right now and we had this conversation because it came up out the blue when i told him i wanted to kiss my roommate.. What we talked about isn’t going to be explored until he and i are more secure in our relationship. I (F24) would be his (M 23) primary & we are talking rules and things, many of which stating that this situation, when it starts, would be him fucking me & someone touching up on him and kissing his neck and things of the sort. we stated that the “relationship” with whoever we have is going to be no emotions, just sex & friendship. We agreed if there’s disrespect or anything of the sort that it would be cut off …
I have been cheated on many times and this is a deciding factor in our relationship because I love him and i want to support him while doing this and i would love to spend some time w other women, but at the same time since we’ve had the conversation about this i cannot stop thinking of the fears of it all.. i can’t stop thinking about if someone will do something better than me or if they’ll take him away from me & he’s reassured me so many times that he loves and wants to be with me & that i’m his primary and that no one can take him away from me… i’m very confused and trying to come to turns with how i feel about this all.. for example - the other partner won’t be our boyfriend/girlfriend, they’d just be our side pieces… if we all went out as a group most romantic connection would be towards me - if we were to have sex, the other primary would be there whether they’re watching or involved .. This turns me on to think about it but at the same time it also makes me sad and i’ve been having moments where i just start crying out of nowhere because of all the feelings and emotions that come with it.. no one else could tell me what he wants other than him but does anyone possibly know how to manage these thoughts and feelings and how to navigate whether i accept this lifestyle or not ? I like my man seeing me kiss other girls because our sex goes crazy after but the thought of someone touching up on or kissing up on him makes me upset.. I trust him completely and i understand that this is all scary to him the same way it is to me and that some of the same thoughts i’m having he is, I know that we can work through this fear together but i don’t want to constantly be asking for reassurance even after we talked about it and came to an agreement
please can someone help me ? i’m wanting to say yes to opening our relationship when we’re more secure because i feel when we’re more secure i won’t be worrying about these things i am… i just need someone to walk me through this
edit - im not 100% against it but i’m not 100% fully in either, i want to be but my fears towards it is holding me back !

Hey all. I [34F] been living with my NP [47M] for 3 years, before which we were long-distance poly for a year, and monogamous/living near each other for 1/5 years before that. I suggested poly at first however this is something we've both discussed having an interest in for a while—by all measures, my NP claims to be aligned with poly and is very interested in the idea of being able to pursue multiple relationships at the same time.
However, my partner has always struggled with depression, and it shows up in many ways, but it tends to intensify greatly when things feel "unfair" or "unbalanced" between our experiences—specifically, when I am experiencing joy or "success" (in his words) in outside relationships.
His primary way of trying to find people to date is via dating apps. He also approaches women at the gym, most of whom either reject him or, if they're interested in him, don't want to pursue polyamory. He's struggled a lot with finding connection, whereas I have found 2-3 connections over the past 4 years that, while shorter-term, were fun and genuine and felt like good fits for me.
When things are going well for me, my partner's depression intensifies because he feels it is all very unfair and unequal—which comes with more hyperfocus on how unbalanced things are, how he's feeling like he won't ever get what I have, and that polyamory won't ever be sustainable because I make connections "easily" and he struggles to find people. His depression also comes with emotionally and mentally shutting down/shutting me out, lots of fatigue, irritability, perfectionism toward himself and criticism of others, and interpreting my & others' actions through a negative lens. He stated yesterday that he's been "slowing his roll" on finding a therapist because he is feeling suspicious of pretty much everyone, and that the fact that he felt "pretty good and immediate rapport" with a potential therapist felt like a red flag to him.
I had to bite my tongue pretty hard then and basically told him I'd be there to listen or offer advice if wanted.
My own dating struggles aside (of which there are plenty), this conversation/pattern has been happening on and off for the entirety of our time as a poly couple, and despite all attempts on my part to support, listen, empathize, provide feedback & advice when requested, get us set up with couple's therapy, support him in seeking his own therapy, offering tangible support for dating apps, reading literature and listening to podcasts (and sharing them with him), and suggesting events/things to try together, there's been what feels like a wholsesale rejection of alternative ways to approach polyamory ("it takes too much work" or "going to events will just be the same thing as dating apps—you with a ton of guys around you, and me being left behind") and what seems like his unwillingness or inability to get out of the negative thought spirals.
At this point, I have been asking him to seek outside support & information (friends, community, therapy, reading articles or books, listening to podcasts, whatever) for almost 4 years. He's done almost none of that except joining me in couple's therapy. He takes depression meds and works out, but has so far shown very few proactive approaches to helping himself. I am feeling at a point of despair—he is a wonderful person with so much to offer, and the depression just swallows him, and brings the rest of our household down with him, despite our best efforts to stay afloat.
I have someone that I've started seeing again—a long-distance relationship—and I am excited about this person. I want to be able to enjoy my time with them, and yet it so often feels like my NP's depression hangs like a cloud over me. I feel very stuck.
Request: I am looking for practical ideas for ways to nurture myself & my other relationship while remaining compassionate/supportive toward my NP. I have a difficult time with emotional boundaries and am very much the type of "take on" how my partner feels and seek to fix it to alleviate my own discomfort, which I know isn't usually the best or most helpful way. Any thoughts would be really appreciated.

First time dad here and I am home alone for the first time with my 12 week old while my wife is across the country for 3 days. My wife has done an awesome job of pumping while breast feeding so I have way more than enough milk for while she is gone, however I need some advice on thawing breast milk. In the first weeks of my son's life I stupidly was packing the freezer bags with 6 oz at a time. Do to his bottle aversion I have been only able to give him 2 ozs at a time and I don't want to waste the rest of the bag. Does anyone have any advice as to how to safely use some of the milk while keeping the rest for the next meal? I certainly want to maintain the standards I've seen published that state not having milk out for more than 2 hours and not defrosting for more than 24 hours, unless folks here have different experience or guidance to share. Thank you so very much for any advice anyone may have!

Hey guys,
This is my first pc ever. I've been looking into many different pc parts and finally picked on these. Feel free to let me know if I could have done better, but keep in mind I already bought them, so I can't really do anything about it if they're not the best.
CPU: Intel Core i5-12400F 2.5 GHz 6-Core Processor
CPU COOLER: Vetroo V5 52 CFM CPU Cooler
MB: Asus PRIME B660-PLUS D4 ATX LGA1700 Motherboard
RAM: Silicon Power GAMING 16 GB (2 x 8 GB) DDR4-3200 CL16 Memory
MEMORY: Seagate Barracuda Compute 2 TB 3.5" 7200 RPM Internal Hard Drive
AND Samsung 980 500 GB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive
GPU: PNY GeForce RTX 3060 12GB XLR8 Gaming REVEL EPIC-X RGB Dual Fan Edition
CASE: Antec DF700 FLUX ATX Mid Tower Case
POWER: EVGA SuperNOVA 650 G5 650 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply
MONITOR: Lenovo G24-10 24" (23.6" Viewable) 1920 x 1080 Full HD 1ms 144Hz G-Sync Compatible HDMI DisplayPort Tilt Gaming Monitor
WIFI: ASUS AC750 Dual Band PCIe WiFi Adapter (PCE-AC51) - Compatible with PCIe
About the wifi pcie adapter: I actually have really fast Wifi 6 at home, and didn't know this when I bought the wifi. Is there a drastic difference between this wifi card and the one I might buy? Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/Ubit-Ubit-AX200/dp/B07Y2MYK4N/?th=1
I am planning to build this in a couple weeks. I am really confused by all the different cables and fan hubs and stuff, so it would be greatly appreciated if someone can help with that. It would be the greatest help if anyone could give me a list of all the necessary cables, asus motherboard drivers, and bios settings. Thanks!

Me: Married with kids and I have my life in order. I'm a professional that prioritizes my family and work. With that said, I will say that I know the importance of work/family/self balance. I have seen too many older peers get overworked and underappreciated to the point that their life is off balance. I'm not looking for that so I have 2 of the 3 in a healthy state. What I am on here for is to help the 'self' part of this Trinity. In return, I hope to provide the same to you. I offer candid conversation, banter, encouragement, a non-insular open mind, no judgement, affirmation and anything else that is wholesome to the soul. I have had this connection in the past with a pAP. It was amazing how the connection affected our mood, glow, attitudes and energy. Being mutually twitterpated is a boost everybody should experience at every opportune time. I would go as far to say that the relationship improved my appreciation and adoration for my SO.
Nevertheless, there was guilt, but I chalk that up to being naive and immature at the time. The subs on Reddit, however, have reassured me that I'm not alone, and, within certain communities, I am not different than others. So send me a message; worst case is our communication fizzles, or we just remain buddies - best case, it lingers, and, bit by bit it starts the need to communicate more frequently. The primary goal is to find someone to help me tap back into the way I felt with previous pAP, because we only live once and we deserve to be hedonistic. I want these things! I want ... Communication that makes our life away from family and work more exciting. A connection that is so intimate that we reveal things we have never told anybody else. A bond that trusts the words we tell each other when adversity challenges us.
You: This should go without saying, but here's the disclaimer anyway: No stalkers, no psychos, no drama, no significant baggage. If we don't connect, have a great life. If we do, let's be 100% honest. Please be ready to exchange pics. I'm not looking for a barbie doll but I do value physical attraction. I don't want to waste your time. But I am looking for a connection with somebody that is seeking the same out of this. Hope to hear back, Peace.

常見佛教冥想修行 Q&A Common Q&A on Buddhist Meditation Practice

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佛陀所指的開悟究竟是什麼？ What exactly did the Buddha mean by enlightenment?

開悟是指透過冥想來解脫一切潛意識對顯意識的束縛，包括本能、情緒和慾望等等後， 最後達到對自己意識有極致的覺知和平等的境界，因腦中分泌大量DMT後進入一種特殊意識狀態， 名為「涅槃」。超越涅槃後可證名為「阿羅漢果」的境界，而佛陀也是這個境界。
Enlightenment refers to the liberation of all subconscious bindings on conscious awareness through meditation, including instincts, emotions, desires, etc., ultimately achieving ultimate awareness and an equal state of mind. This is achieved by entering a special state of consciousness called “Nirvana” after the secretion of a large amount of DMT in the brain. Beyond Nirvana is a state called “Arhat,” which is the same state that Buddha achieved.
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”

禪修是思想或邏輯上的活動，還是身體或意識層面的活動？ Is meditation a mental or logical activity, or a physical or conscious activity?M

意識層面的活動。
Conscious activity
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”

比如我邏輯上可以接受或相信，我們所看到的世界都是幻想，世界的真相也許就是類似《黑客帝國 Matrix》的世界。但我沒有身體上的感受，也沒有看到或感受到那個我認為的真實世界，這樣算不算開悟？ For example, I can logically accept or believe that the world we see is all an illusion and that the truth of the world may be similar to the world in The Matrix. But I don’t have the physical sensation, nor have I seen or felt the reality that I think exists. Would this count as enlightenment?

不算，不僅是邏輯上的理解，還要有感性的體會。對世界一切事物是虛幻的理解和體會是為了幫助解決一些在冥想禪修當中遇到的問題，例如以對世界空性的體會來放下執著等等。一切的道理和思想工具都只是是單純地為了幫助冥想禪修。而開悟只能透過禪修冥想來實現。
Understanding the concept that all things in the world are illusory requires not only logical comprehension but also perceptual understanding. This understanding and perception is meant to help solve issues encountered during meditation and mindfulness practices, such as letting go of attachment through a realization of the emptiness of the world. All principles and thought tools are simply meant to aid meditation and mindfulness practices. Enlightenment can only be achieved through meditation and mindfulness practices.
「大道至簡」: 禪修就是單純對意識的理解與體會的融合

冥想（打坐）是否能開悟？ Can meditation lead to enlightenment?

可以。《道德經》和《太平經》所指的守一、莊子的坐忘、佛教的「觀自在」、「止觀」與「定慧」等等都是「冥想」，並提出透過冥想來解脫潛意識對顯意識的依附和影響。
Certainly. The “Oneness” referred to in the Tao Te Ching and the Tai Ping Jing, the “Zuo Wang” of Zhuangzi, and the “Samadhi,” “Vipassana,” and “Samatha-Vipassana” of Buddhism, all refer to “meditation,” and suggest that through meditation, one can liberate oneself from the attachment and influence of the subconscious on the conscious mind.
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

冥想（打坐）的目的是什麼？ What is the purpose of meditation?

讓顯意識獲得所有控制權，潛意識被清空的狀態。最後超越潛意識的最後抵抗造成的瀕死（被稱為「涅槃」，被認為是一種死亡的考驗）後成為覺悟者（阿羅漢 ）。狀態類似《清靜經》中所指的極致的靜。
The purpose is to allow the conscious mind to gain complete control while the subconscious mind is emptied. Eventually, one surpasses the final resistance from the subconscious mind, leading to a state of near-death (Nirvana, which is considered a test of death), and becomes an awakened one (Arhat). This state is similar to the ultimate stillness referred to in the “Qing Jing Jing” (Sutra of Pure and Tranquil Mind).
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita
《太上老君常說清靜經》The Classic of Always Being Pure and Tranquil (Qingjing Jing), Spoken by Laozi of the Highest Clarity－正統原始道教冥想修行之法 The Meditation Method of Authentic Primitive Taoist Practice

神通是否存在？ Does supernatural power exist?

神通只存在於意識層面，在對肉體的脫離的狀態下才會顯現。
Supernatural power only exists in the realm of consciousness and will only manifest when one is detached from the physical body.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.

神通更類似於禪定中的幻覺？ Is supernatural power more like an illusion in meditation?

是副作用。在禪修當中出現的種種異像只是一些多餘的大腦訊息，更甚會令人因為異像而自我滿足後造成境界停滯。
It is a side effect. The various illusions that appear during meditation are only some unnecessary signals in the brain, which may cause one to become stagnant in their practice due to self-satisfaction from illusion.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.

神通是自己大腦偽造出來的嗎？ Is supernatural power something that the brain creates?

視乎當時人的情況。有可能是幻覺，但你無從分辨，既然無法分辨就捨棄這些似幻似真的感覺。
It depends on the situation of the individual. It could be an illusion, but since it is impossible to distinguish, it is best to abandon these seemingly illusory feelings.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.

如何能看到或感受到佛教所指的「真實」？How can one see or feel the “truth” that Buddhism refers to?

不被潛意識影響， 讓顯意識完全顯露。超越本能和潛意識對顯意識的限制 （情緒、慾望甚至對死亡的恐懼）。
By not being influenced by the subconscious mind and allowing the conscious mind to fully manifest. To transcend instincts (limitations of emotions, desires, and even fear of death).
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

透過冥想（打坐）實現開悟的唯一條件是「抛棄掉所有感官與思維的干擾」？ Is the only condition for achieving enlightenment by meditation is “abandon all interference from the senses and thoughts”?

沒錯，在純意識層面抛棄掉所有感官與思維的干擾。
Yes, it is to completely abandon all interference from the senses and thoughts in a purely conscious realm.
原始佛法本為「意識學」為何佛法卻常常被誤解成「哲學」或「心靈雞湯」甚至「宗教」Why is it that the original Buddhist teachings, which were meant to be a study of consciousness, are often misunderstood as “philosophy”, “inspirational literature”, or even “religion”?
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

冥想（打坐）初學者常常感受到自己被自己的思維束縛，並未進入潛意識世界，甚至感受不到潛意識的存在，該如何理解潛意識對顯意識的束縛？Beginner meditators often feel that their thoughts are holding them back from entering the subconscious world, and may not even sense the presence of their subconscious. How should we understand the subconscious’s hold on the conscious mind?

其實這是典型對自己意識運作缺乏深刻認識而形成的誤解和錯誤判斷。被思維「束縛」其實和顯意識（理性）無關，「束縛」其實是一種「力」去驅動和影響顯意識去思考。例如你的潛意識不斷給你念頭，你又不斷投入念想去思考，然後又排洩出一些情緒和慾望（自我感覺良好，好奇慾，對未知的執著等等）。這些情緒和慾望又反過來鼓勵你不斷投入思考，這種情況就等於你的顯意識被潛意識在背後驅動和控制，潛意識在背後偽裝成顯意識的行為，讓人感覺不到潛意識的存在，因為潛意識最怕是被「覺知」。要理解潛意識和顯意識之間的關係和運作，必須要先抽離後以第三身角度觀察內在意識運作，盡可能先分離潛意識對顯意識依附，再分別進行觀察和體會。
In fact, this is a misunderstanding and a misjudgment that arises from a lack of profound understanding of one’s own consciousness. Being “held back” by thoughts is actually not related to the conscious mind (reason), but rather a “force” that drives and influences the conscious mind to think. For example, if your subconscious keeps giving you thoughts, and you keep investing in thinking about them, and then releasing some emotions and desires (feeling good, curiosity, attachment to the unknown, etc.), these emotions and desires will encourage you to keep thinking. This situation is equivalent to your conscious mind being driven and controlled by the subconscious mind behind the scenes. The subconscious mind disguises itself as the behavior of the conscious mind, making it difficult to sense its presence, because the subconscious mind is most afraid of being “aware”. To understand the relationship and operation between the subconscious and conscious mind, one must first detach and observe the inner consciousness from a third-person perspective, try to separate the attachment of the subconscious to the conscious mind, and then observe them separately to gain insight.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.
避免陷入因對世界的過度好奇而產生的思考消耗與疲勞 Avoid the mental exhaustion and fatigue that comes from being overly curious about the world

冥想打座會否「走火入魔」？ Will meditating lead to “possession by spirits” (or being “crazy”)?

坊間流傳有很多種冥想方法， 不論古時流傳在各種宗教經典當中的方法， 例如原始道教中的「守一」、莊子的「坐忘」、佛教的「定慧」（或稱「止觀」）、《清靜經》的內觀方法和《太乙金華宗旨》提及的「回光之法」等等，現代在互聯網上也有很多各式各樣的自我催眠或者冥想方法，例如「阿卡西紀錄」冥想法、薩滿心靈動物冥想法、氣功觀身冥想法、神像觀修法、「地獄旅遊」等等新興的冥想甚至「通靈」方法，例如基督靈恩教派的「聖靈擊倒與方言」、巫術宗教文化的「僮身法」等等。 的確， 有部份人沒有了解過自己的意識運作之前就嘗試各式各樣的冥想方法最後導致出現一些嚴重的精神問題，甚至出現被認為是「鬼附」的現象求助各類型宗教的法師為其作出驅鬼行為， 甚至因此流傳冥想打座前需要設定「結界」或進行一些宗教儀式如曬聖水、在一個受神保護的地方進行冥想等等，不然就如打開身頭的門後被鬼所附體。導致這些意識上的問題其根本原因是「錯誤的冥想方法和動機」。
There are many types of meditation methods that have been passed down through various religious scriptures throughout history, such as the “guarding the one” method in original Taoism, the “sitting and forgetting” method in Zhuangzi, the “samadhi and prajna” (or “stopping and seeing”) method in Buddhism, the introspective method in the “Qingjing Jing,” and the “method of returning light” mentioned in the “Taiyi Jinhua Zongzhi,” etc. Nowadays, there are also many different self-hypnosis or meditation methods available on the internet, such as the “Akashic Records” meditation method, the shamanic animal spirit meditation method, the qigong visualization meditation method, the statue contemplation method, the “hell travel” meditation, and even “mediumship” methods e.g. the “falling of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues” in the Pentecostal denomination, and the “possession ceremony” in witchcraft religious culture, and so on. However, some people who have not understood how their consciousness works have tried various meditation methods without proper guidance, resulting in serious mental problems and even phenomena believed to be “possession by spirits,” leading them to seek help from various religious masters to perform exorcism rituals. Therefore, it is said that one needs to set up a “boundary” or perform some religious rituals such as sunning holy water or meditating in a place protected by gods before meditating, otherwise, one may be possessed by spirits like opening the door to one’s body. The root cause of these conscious problems is “wrong meditation methods and motivations.”
根據本人了解，很多所謂「錯誤的冥想」行為導致精神失常的情況大概有以下幾點： Based on my understanding, there are several factors that can lead to mental disorders caused by so-called “wrong meditation” practices:
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1. 帶著過度的情緒慾望和一些不切實際的期待和執著進行冥想行為。例如為了看見死去的親人、為了到地獄旅行、為了開自己的「第三眼」、為了知道自己的所謂「心靈動物」等等奇怪的目的進行冥想打座行為。帶著大量的情緒慾望和執著去冥想打座是非常危險的行為。 Engaging in meditation with excessive emotional desires and unrealistic expectations and attachments, such as meditating to see deceased relatives, travel to hell, open one’s “third eye,” or know one’s so-called “spirit animal.” Meditating with a lot of emotional desires and attachments is a very dangerous behaviour.
   
2. 過度投入到自己潛意識的幻象。即使身體出現一點點「異常（副作用）」也會對其異常執著；也會有人看到很多潛意識所提供的「畫面」， 並主動地投入和窮追一些在冥想期間潛意識製造的虛幻的處境當中， 不能自拔。 Overly indulging in illusions of one’s subconscious mind. Even if the body experiences a little “abnormality (side effect),” some people will be extremely attached to it. Some may see a lot of “images” provided by their subconsciousness and actively immerse themselves in and pursue some illusory situations created by their subconsciousness during meditation, unable to extricate themselves.
   
3. 在冥想打座期間一遇到任何問題馬上主動放棄顯意識的控制，完全交出自己意識的所有控制權給潛意識，導致潛意識當中儲存的「垃圾」大量湧現，例如童年陰影、情緒慾望等等。在冥想期間完全放棄顯意識對潛意識的覺知和平等心，甘願被潛意識吞噬是對自己非常不負責任和消極的行為，這也是大多數人冥想後出現精神異常的主要原因。 Giving up conscious control at the slightest problem during the meditation period and completely surrendering all control of one’s consciousness to the subconsciousness, leads to a large amount of “garbage” stored in the subconsciousness emerging, such as childhood shadows, emotional desires, etc. Completely giving up the awareness and equanimity of the conscious mind towards the subconsciousness and willingly being swallowed up by the subconsciousness is very irresponsible and passive behaviour oneself, and it is also the main reason why most people experience mental abnormalities after meditation.
   

冥想打座是「禪修」的其中一種方法，「禪修」的本質是平等心與覺知力的顯意識訓練，擺脫潛意識對顯意識的依附。禪修就像在大海行駛上的船一樣，思緒、情緒和慾望等等就像海上的各種情況，有風平浪靜的時候，也有狂風暴雨的時候。訓練自己面對狂風暴雨的平等心和覺知在大海航行每一刻的變化，不要翻船沉入大海，這就是禪修。
Meditation is a practice that trains the conscious with equanimity and mindfulness, to get rid of subconscious attachment to conscious. It is like sailing on the ocean, where thoughts, emotions, and desires are like various conditions on the sea. Sometimes there are calm winds and smooth sailing, while other times there are storms and rough waters. Through this practice, we train ourselves to face the changing conditions of the sea with equanimity and mindfulness, so that we do not capsize and sink into the ocean. This is meditation.
正確的禪修狀態必然是顯意識活躍，人會進入異常清醒明朗和極度專注的狀態，潛意識在這期間的控制權會被大大削弱，所以是完全沒有理由需要擔心任何外來或內在的原因導致因冥想而突然精神失常 。 開始冥想之前不要對冥想有太大期望，想從冥想得到某種神通和智慧，或者期望冥想一定能帶給你平靜喜悅，這會對冥想產生執著。冥想也是有無常起伏，可能進行冥想幾個月也體會不到明顯個人變化，但不要太執著階段性的結果及過去的冥想經驗，每日堅持一步步來，靜看花開，在冥想當中體驗當下每一刻。
The correct state of meditation necessarily involves active consciousness. People will enter a state of abnormal clarity and extreme focus, and the control of the subconscious will be greatly weakened during this period. Therefore, there is absolutely no reason to worry about any external or internal factors causing sudden mental illness due to meditation. Before starting meditation, do not have high expectations for it, such as wanting to gain supernatural powers and wisdom, or expecting meditation to bring you peace and joy. This will lead to attachment in your practice. Meditation has ups and downs; you may not notice significant personal changes even after months of practice. Don’t be too attached to the results or past meditation experiences. Persist in taking it one step at a time, quietly observing the blossoming of flowers and experiencing every moment in your practice.
原始佛教「止觀雙運」(或稱「定慧雙修」）冥想打坐和控制情緒慾望方法詳解 In-depth explanation of the primitive Buddhism’s “Samatha-Vipassana” meditation, emotion and desire control
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”

I joined here like many of yall expecting to see results, advice, positive affirmations, ideas to improve your mindset...but what do we see? It's mostly filled with people again and again accepting their 3d, crying about their insecurity and asking why they are getting no results! Like really?
YOU CANNOT BE IN TWO STATES AT THE SAME TIME!
You are either rich or poor, beautiful or ugly...you cannot be both at the same time! Ask yourself! If you are what you always wanted to be...would you still cry about it? Would you still listen to those subliminal, would you keep desiring it? NO! Because you already have it. You think listening to subliminal on repeat, affirming like a parrot would change your reality but you don't see any changes.... cuz you yourself don't believe you have it. Subconsciously you are still insecure, still poor...you look in the mirror and see no changes and quickly rush here crying that subliminals don't work! That submaker is evil and useless! It's YOU!
YOU ARE THE PROBLEM AND YOU ARE THE SOLUTION!
For someone with strong self concept, no subliminal is needed, or maybe just by listening few times they get results. Because they put faith in it! It's not the submaker, not the subliminals not even affirmations. The problem is YOU! These are just tools goddamit! Feeling is the secret!
Put faith in it! Visualize and feel as if you already have it. Listen to subliminals. Repeat, persist in this belief and when even the 3d doesn't trigger you, when you feel relief as if you already have results....DROP IT.
I see people writing that they are venting...no one can be positive all the time! I understand! So you think I don't get it? I am here cuz I am similar to all of you. A human with problems, insecurity. But I am working on it. It's hard...I get it. It could be harder for you...maybe due to childhood trauma or something. But we have to pull ourselves out of this ditch. We have to stop being victims.
And nobody is forcing you to be positive! It's worse if you are forcing it but your subconscious mind is filled with negativity. You yourself have to understand this and apply by yourself.
The worse the self concept, it would seem the harder is to achieve the results. It might take months... years.
It's infuriating that people get results so easily and naturally but you are the one that is stuck. I get it! For some people it is easier to ignore their senses and 3d, it's their personality. People like me who overthink everything and panic, it's harder. I can't even imagine poeple with trauma how hard it must be to reverse years of pain! I get it! It's not easy.. Don't give up! You have nothing to lose. Slow results are still results.

Hey, everyone! I am an 18-year-old girl and I think I have developed HPPD.
Two Saturdays ago, I micro-dosed magic mushrooms. I also drank and smoked weed, which my friends advised against. I had a very bad trip for the first hour or so of it. I was totally flipping out, screaming for help, that I was having a panic attack, that I needed my family, an ambulance, a hospital. I had this horrific pain in my chest, just this sharp pain that almost felt like I could not breathe. My friends were able to calm me down, and the rest of my trip was actually relatively pleasant. My visuals were pretty unremarkable, actually, most of the trip was emotional/conceptual.
The week following, I didn't have hardly any visual disturbances aside from the morning after, I'm pretty sure. Mostly what was happening for that week was I was having these very strange, sometimes uncomfortable and sometimes positive thoughts, like about the life point of views of others, thoughts I'd never had before. An uncomfortable one was I became acutely aware of the fact that my thoughts were being spoken by a voice I could hear in my head. I had a really awesome weekend two weekends ago (it's Friday), where I partied all weekends and was just in a state of total bliss. On that Saturday, I had this chest pain after drinking alcohol again for the first time since the trip. It was almost like I had remembered the taste or feeling of alcohol and my brain connected it to that intense chest pain. So, I had an okay day on Sunday, but at night, the chest pain returned. I completely panicked and for some reason I was completely and totally convinced that I had lung cancer. For a week, the anxiety that I was dying did not let up. I hadn't had this since I was a kid. I had a very bad panic disorder when I was younger where I thought I was dying all the time. Last week, I had this intense feeling of doom. It was completely unfounded, but it lasted for the entirety of my wakefulness. Finally, I saw, like, 5 doctors that told me I definitely did not have stomach, brain, or lung cancer. That weekend, though, a couple days before I finally believe I wasn't gearing up to die, I started having these weird ass visual things where shit looked smaller, walls looked closer and floors felt slanted. The things kind of came and went, but in the recent days, they've been pretty steady as I'm more awake that they're happening. My arm feels light, legs heavy, rooms feel like they have a bit of a mind of their own, I have waviness in my periphery, and I have this sense of very slight rocking. That's about it, though. The anxiety and intense fear has subsided. I feel as though the emotional aspect greatly preceded the visual aspect.
I am currently taking Klon0pin by prescription on steady regiment, which I can't really tell if is helping, I think it might be. Anxiety definitely exacerbates everything, so I am going to get CBT. Doing calming activities (reading, painting) has helped, wearing sunglasses helps. I'm really only about a week into everything. I had some derealization yesterday, but I snapped out of it. I need to get out of the isolation/agoraphobia, which was happening before the visuals. I'm going to try to go out today. I am a little upset and worried that this will impact my future negatively.
I am trying to keep a positive outlook and tell myself that lifestyle changes and adjustment may not be so bad and there are ways to cope. I also believe I have it much less severe than others because I micro-dosed. I'm trying to get to the point of acceptance of the issue, does anyone have any outlook on acceptance and adjustment to the visuals/sensations? I am a generally happy person, so I am trying to find ways to stay that way. Would anyone give any advice? Does wearing glasses improve some states? Should I expect this to last for the rest of my life? Is there any medication that can help to improve it other than Kl0nopin that anyone would recommend? There must be a way to keep it together and live a full, happy life despite this. I just have to find it, and I'm already looking for that now. That's good progress, right?
I hope this doesn't come off as triggering or insensitive, I'm just trying to look for some insight. <3

常見佛教冥想修行 Q&A Common Q&A on Buddhist Meditation Practice

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佛陀所指的開悟究竟是什麼？ What exactly did the Buddha mean by enlightenment?

開悟是指透過冥想來解脫一切潛意識對顯意識的束縛，包括本能、情緒和慾望等等後， 最後達到對自己意識有極致的覺知和平等的境界，因腦中分泌大量DMT後進入一種特殊意識狀態， 名為「涅槃」。超越涅槃後可證名為「阿羅漢果」的境界，而佛陀也是這個境界。
Enlightenment refers to the liberation of all subconscious bindings on conscious awareness through meditation, including instincts, emotions, desires, etc., ultimately achieving ultimate awareness and an equal state of mind. This is achieved by entering a special state of consciousness called “Nirvana” after the secretion of a large amount of DMT in the brain. Beyond Nirvana is a state called “Arhat,” which is the same state that Buddha achieved.
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”

禪修是思想或邏輯上的活動，還是身體或意識層面的活動？ Is meditation a mental or logical activity, or a physical or conscious activity?M

意識層面的活動。
Conscious activity
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”

比如我邏輯上可以接受或相信，我們所看到的世界都是幻想，世界的真相也許就是類似《黑客帝國 Matrix》的世界。但我沒有身體上的感受，也沒有看到或感受到那個我認為的真實世界，這樣算不算開悟？ For example, I can logically accept or believe that the world we see is all an illusion and that the truth of the world may be similar to the world in The Matrix. But I don’t have the physical sensation, nor have I seen or felt the reality that I think exists. Would this count as enlightenment?

不算，不僅是邏輯上的理解，還要有感性的體會。對世界一切事物是虛幻的理解和體會是為了幫助解決一些在冥想禪修當中遇到的問題，例如以對世界空性的體會來放下執著等等。一切的道理和思想工具都只是是單純地為了幫助冥想禪修。而開悟只能透過禪修冥想來實現。
Understanding the concept that all things in the world are illusory requires not only logical comprehension but also perceptual understanding. This understanding and perception is meant to help solve issues encountered during meditation and mindfulness practices, such as letting go of attachment through a realization of the emptiness of the world. All principles and thought tools are simply meant to aid meditation and mindfulness practices. Enlightenment can only be achieved through meditation and mindfulness practices.
「大道至簡」: 禪修就是單純對意識的理解與體會的融合

冥想（打坐）是否能開悟？ Can meditation lead to enlightenment?

可以。《道德經》和《太平經》所指的守一、莊子的坐忘、佛教的「觀自在」、「止觀」與「定慧」等等都是「冥想」，並提出透過冥想來解脫潛意識對顯意識的依附和影響。
Certainly. The “Oneness” referred to in the Tao Te Ching and the Tai Ping Jing, the “Zuo Wang” of Zhuangzi, and the “Samadhi,” “Vipassana,” and “Samatha-Vipassana” of Buddhism, all refer to “meditation,” and suggest that through meditation, one can liberate oneself from the attachment and influence of the subconscious on the conscious mind.
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

冥想（打坐）的目的是什麼？ What is the purpose of meditation?

讓顯意識獲得所有控制權，潛意識被清空的狀態。最後超越潛意識的最後抵抗造成的瀕死（被稱為「涅槃」，被認為是一種死亡的考驗）後成為覺悟者（阿羅漢 ）。狀態類似《清靜經》中所指的極致的靜。
The purpose is to allow the conscious mind to gain complete control while the subconscious mind is emptied. Eventually, one surpasses the final resistance from the subconscious mind, leading to a state of near-death (Nirvana, which is considered a test of death), and becomes an awakened one (Arhat). This state is similar to the ultimate stillness referred to in the “Qing Jing Jing” (Sutra of Pure and Tranquil Mind).
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita
《太上老君常說清靜經》The Classic of Always Being Pure and Tranquil (Qingjing Jing), Spoken by Laozi of the Highest Clarity－正統原始道教冥想修行之法 The Meditation Method of Authentic Primitive Taoist Practice

神通是否存在？ Does supernatural power exist?

神通只存在於意識層面，在對肉體的脫離的狀態下才會顯現。
Supernatural power only exists in the realm of consciousness and will only manifest when one is detached from the physical body.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.

神通更類似於禪定中的幻覺？ Is supernatural power more like an illusion in meditation?

是副作用。在禪修當中出現的種種異像只是一些多餘的大腦訊息，更甚會令人因為異像而自我滿足後造成境界停滯。
It is a side effect. The various illusions that appear during meditation are only some unnecessary signals in the brain, which may cause one to become stagnant in their practice due to self-satisfaction from illusion.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.

神通是自己大腦偽造出來的嗎？ Is supernatural power something that the brain creates?

視乎當時人的情況。有可能是幻覺，但你無從分辨，既然無法分辨就捨棄這些似幻似真的感覺。
It depends on the situation of the individual. It could be an illusion, but since it is impossible to distinguish, it is best to abandon these seemingly illusory feelings.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.

如何能看到或感受到佛教所指的「真實」？How can one see or feel the “truth” that Buddhism refers to?

不被潛意識影響， 讓顯意識完全顯露。超越本能和潛意識對顯意識的限制 （情緒、慾望甚至對死亡的恐懼）。
By not being influenced by the subconscious mind and allowing the conscious mind to fully manifest. To transcend instincts (limitations of emotions, desires, and even fear of death).
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

透過冥想（打坐）實現開悟的唯一條件是「抛棄掉所有感官與思維的干擾」？ Is the only condition for achieving enlightenment by meditation is “abandon all interference from the senses and thoughts”?

沒錯，在純意識層面抛棄掉所有感官與思維的干擾。
Yes, it is to completely abandon all interference from the senses and thoughts in a purely conscious realm.
原始佛法本為「意識學」為何佛法卻常常被誤解成「哲學」或「心靈雞湯」甚至「宗教」Why is it that the original Buddhist teachings, which were meant to be a study of consciousness, are often misunderstood as “philosophy”, “inspirational literature”, or even “religion”?
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

冥想（打坐）初學者常常感受到自己被自己的思維束縛，並未進入潛意識世界，甚至感受不到潛意識的存在，該如何理解潛意識對顯意識的束縛？Beginner meditators often feel that their thoughts are holding them back from entering the subconscious world, and may not even sense the presence of their subconscious. How should we understand the subconscious’s hold on the conscious mind?

其實這是典型對自己意識運作缺乏深刻認識而形成的誤解和錯誤判斷。被思維「束縛」其實和顯意識（理性）無關，「束縛」其實是一種「力」去驅動和影響顯意識去思考。例如你的潛意識不斷給你念頭，你又不斷投入念想去思考，然後又排洩出一些情緒和慾望（自我感覺良好，好奇慾，對未知的執著等等）。這些情緒和慾望又反過來鼓勵你不斷投入思考，這種情況就等於你的顯意識被潛意識在背後驅動和控制，潛意識在背後偽裝成顯意識的行為，讓人感覺不到潛意識的存在，因為潛意識最怕是被「覺知」。要理解潛意識和顯意識之間的關係和運作，必須要先抽離後以第三身角度觀察內在意識運作，盡可能先分離潛意識對顯意識依附，再分別進行觀察和體會。
In fact, this is a misunderstanding and a misjudgment that arises from a lack of profound understanding of one’s own consciousness. Being “held back” by thoughts is actually not related to the conscious mind (reason), but rather a “force” that drives and influences the conscious mind to think. For example, if your subconscious keeps giving you thoughts, and you keep investing in thinking about them, and then releasing some emotions and desires (feeling good, curiosity, attachment to the unknown, etc.), these emotions and desires will encourage you to keep thinking. This situation is equivalent to your conscious mind being driven and controlled by the subconscious mind behind the scenes. The subconscious mind disguises itself as the behavior of the conscious mind, making it difficult to sense its presence, because the subconscious mind is most afraid of being “aware”. To understand the relationship and operation between the subconscious and conscious mind, one must first detach and observe the inner consciousness from a third-person perspective, try to separate the attachment of the subconscious to the conscious mind, and then observe them separately to gain insight.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.
避免陷入因對世界的過度好奇而產生的思考消耗與疲勞 Avoid the mental exhaustion and fatigue that comes from being overly curious about the world

冥想打座會否「走火入魔」？ Will meditating lead to “possession by spirits” (or being “crazy”)?

坊間流傳有很多種冥想方法， 不論古時流傳在各種宗教經典當中的方法， 例如原始道教中的「守一」、莊子的「坐忘」、佛教的「定慧」（或稱「止觀」）、《清靜經》的內觀方法和《太乙金華宗旨》提及的「回光之法」等等，現代在互聯網上也有很多各式各樣的自我催眠或者冥想方法，例如「阿卡西紀錄」冥想法、薩滿心靈動物冥想法、氣功觀身冥想法、神像觀修法、「地獄旅遊」等等新興的冥想甚至「通靈」方法，例如基督靈恩教派的「聖靈擊倒與方言」、巫術宗教文化的「僮身法」等等。 的確， 有部份人沒有了解過自己的意識運作之前就嘗試各式各樣的冥想方法最後導致出現一些嚴重的精神問題，甚至出現被認為是「鬼附」的現象求助各類型宗教的法師為其作出驅鬼行為， 甚至因此流傳冥想打座前需要設定「結界」或進行一些宗教儀式如曬聖水、在一個受神保護的地方進行冥想等等，不然就如打開身頭的門後被鬼所附體。導致這些意識上的問題其根本原因是「錯誤的冥想方法和動機」。
There are many types of meditation methods that have been passed down through various religious scriptures throughout history, such as the “guarding the one” method in original Taoism, the “sitting and forgetting” method in Zhuangzi, the “samadhi and prajna” (or “stopping and seeing”) method in Buddhism, the introspective method in the “Qingjing Jing,” and the “method of returning light” mentioned in the “Taiyi Jinhua Zongzhi,” etc. Nowadays, there are also many different self-hypnosis or meditation methods available on the internet, such as the “Akashic Records” meditation method, the shamanic animal spirit meditation method, the qigong visualization meditation method, the statue contemplation method, the “hell travel” meditation, and even “mediumship” methods e.g. the “falling of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues” in the Pentecostal denomination, and the “possession ceremony” in witchcraft religious culture, and so on. However, some people who have not understood how their consciousness works have tried various meditation methods without proper guidance, resulting in serious mental problems and even phenomena believed to be “possession by spirits,” leading them to seek help from various religious masters to perform exorcism rituals. Therefore, it is said that one needs to set up a “boundary” or perform some religious rituals such as sunning holy water or meditating in a place protected by gods before meditating, otherwise, one may be possessed by spirits like opening the door to one’s body. The root cause of these conscious problems is “wrong meditation methods and motivations.”
根據本人了解，很多所謂「錯誤的冥想」行為導致精神失常的情況大概有以下幾點： Based on my understanding, there are several factors that can lead to mental disorders caused by so-called “wrong meditation” practices:
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1. 帶著過度的情緒慾望和一些不切實際的期待和執著進行冥想行為。例如為了看見死去的親人、為了到地獄旅行、為了開自己的「第三眼」、為了知道自己的所謂「心靈動物」等等奇怪的目的進行冥想打座行為。帶著大量的情緒慾望和執著去冥想打座是非常危險的行為。 Engaging in meditation with excessive emotional desires and unrealistic expectations and attachments, such as meditating to see deceased relatives, travel to hell, open one’s “third eye,” or know one’s so-called “spirit animal.” Meditating with a lot of emotional desires and attachments is a very dangerous behaviour.
   
2. 過度投入到自己潛意識的幻象。即使身體出現一點點「異常（副作用）」也會對其異常執著；也會有人看到很多潛意識所提供的「畫面」， 並主動地投入和窮追一些在冥想期間潛意識製造的虛幻的處境當中， 不能自拔。 Overly indulging in illusions of one’s subconscious mind. Even if the body experiences a little “abnormality (side effect),” some people will be extremely attached to it. Some may see a lot of “images” provided by their subconsciousness and actively immerse themselves in and pursue some illusory situations created by their subconsciousness during meditation, unable to extricate themselves.
   
3. 在冥想打座期間一遇到任何問題馬上主動放棄顯意識的控制，完全交出自己意識的所有控制權給潛意識，導致潛意識當中儲存的「垃圾」大量湧現，例如童年陰影、情緒慾望等等。在冥想期間完全放棄顯意識對潛意識的覺知和平等心，甘願被潛意識吞噬是對自己非常不負責任和消極的行為，這也是大多數人冥想後出現精神異常的主要原因。 Giving up conscious control at the slightest problem during the meditation period and completely surrendering all control of one’s consciousness to the subconsciousness, leads to a large amount of “garbage” stored in the subconsciousness emerging, such as childhood shadows, emotional desires, etc. Completely giving up the awareness and equanimity of the conscious mind towards the subconsciousness and willingly being swallowed up by the subconsciousness is very irresponsible and passive behaviour oneself, and it is also the main reason why most people experience mental abnormalities after meditation.
   

冥想打座是「禪修」的其中一種方法，「禪修」的本質是平等心與覺知力的顯意識訓練，擺脫潛意識對顯意識的依附。禪修就像在大海行駛上的船一樣，思緒、情緒和慾望等等就像海上的各種情況，有風平浪靜的時候，也有狂風暴雨的時候。訓練自己面對狂風暴雨的平等心和覺知在大海航行每一刻的變化，不要翻船沉入大海，這就是禪修。
Meditation is a practice that trains the conscious with equanimity and mindfulness, to get rid of subconscious attachment to conscious. It is like sailing on the ocean, where thoughts, emotions, and desires are like various conditions on the sea. Sometimes there are calm winds and smooth sailing, while other times there are storms and rough waters. Through this practice, we train ourselves to face the changing conditions of the sea with equanimity and mindfulness, so that we do not capsize and sink into the ocean. This is meditation.
正確的禪修狀態必然是顯意識活躍，人會進入異常清醒明朗和極度專注的狀態，潛意識在這期間的控制權會被大大削弱，所以是完全沒有理由需要擔心任何外來或內在的原因導致因冥想而突然精神失常 。 開始冥想之前不要對冥想有太大期望，想從冥想得到某種神通和智慧，或者期望冥想一定能帶給你平靜喜悅，這會對冥想產生執著。冥想也是有無常起伏，可能進行冥想幾個月也體會不到明顯個人變化，但不要太執著階段性的結果及過去的冥想經驗，每日堅持一步步來，靜看花開，在冥想當中體驗當下每一刻。
The correct state of meditation necessarily involves active consciousness. People will enter a state of abnormal clarity and extreme focus, and the control of the subconscious will be greatly weakened during this period. Therefore, there is absolutely no reason to worry about any external or internal factors causing sudden mental illness due to meditation. Before starting meditation, do not have high expectations for it, such as wanting to gain supernatural powers and wisdom, or expecting meditation to bring you peace and joy. This will lead to attachment in your practice. Meditation has ups and downs; you may not notice significant personal changes even after months of practice. Don’t be too attached to the results or past meditation experiences. Persist in taking it one step at a time, quietly observing the blossoming of flowers and experiencing every moment in your practice.
原始佛教「止觀雙運」(或稱「定慧雙修」）冥想打坐和控制情緒慾望方法詳解 In-depth explanation of the primitive Buddhism’s “Samatha-Vipassana” meditation, emotion and desire control
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”

Hi All!
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Back in 2020, mid pandemic, my husband and I drove through Lexington on the way to South Carolina. We stopped and got curbside from a burgesandwich place right downtown, on a one way street ( I remember because I was stressed stopping for curbside). I'm having trouble finding that restaurant again--we're driving through next week an I'd like to stop there again. They had a substanial menu with lots of sandwichs named after states and places and fun burgers with interesting toppings--my husband had one with onion rings on it. Any idea where this is? I fear it may have closed due to COVID.

I’m 39 weeks and due any day and I still haven’t received my maternity pictures from April 28th!
I connected with this maternity and family photographer because I was so impressed by her instagram. And I really loved her style. I’m really self conscious, but I felt good during the shoot so I really want to see the pictures. But now it’s been 5 weeks! I emailed her 2 weeks ago (on May 15) asking for a timeline. She said by the next week she would send them. Well a two weeks passed, and then it was Memorial Day weekend, which understand is busy. So I emailed her after the weekend and she said she has been sick (despite a very active instagram) that response was 3 days ago. And haven’t heard anything since.
I’ve paid her a deposit, but I believe I owe her part of her fee, which I mentioned in the email and asked how she’d like to handle the payment schedule, as we have planned to do a family shoot in the fall, when babe is here.
I’m really a very kind person, and I’m very understanding that life happens. I’ve been very understanding in my emails. If she is sick, I want to give her the space to heal, but I do see on her instagram her advertising, as well as a trip out of state, and her daughters dance. And it’s been 5 weeks! This seems like a huge amount of time for a maternity shoot, and it makes me uncertain about our family shoot in the fall. I really love her work, and I was hoping to get pictures by her every few years as this kid (and possibly more) grow, but if she’s going to be this unreliable, it’s really frustrating.
Where should I go from here, to show her that I am understanding, but also frustrated, and I was hoping to have these photos before delivery!

常見佛教冥想修行 Q&A Common Q&A on Buddhist Meditation Practice

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佛陀所指的開悟究竟是什麼？ What exactly did the Buddha mean by enlightenment?

開悟是指透過冥想來解脫一切潛意識對顯意識的束縛，包括本能、情緒和慾望等等後， 最後達到對自己意識有極致的覺知和平等的境界，因腦中分泌大量DMT後進入一種特殊意識狀態， 名為「涅槃」。超越涅槃後可證名為「阿羅漢果」的境界，而佛陀也是這個境界。
Enlightenment refers to the liberation of all subconscious bindings on conscious awareness through meditation, including instincts, emotions, desires, etc., ultimately achieving ultimate awareness and an equal state of mind. This is achieved by entering a special state of consciousness called “Nirvana” after the secretion of a large amount of DMT in the brain. Beyond Nirvana is a state called “Arhat,” which is the same state that Buddha achieved.
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”

禪修是思想或邏輯上的活動，還是身體或意識層面的活動？ Is meditation a mental or logical activity, or a physical or conscious activity?M

意識層面的活動。
Conscious activity
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”

比如我邏輯上可以接受或相信，我們所看到的世界都是幻想，世界的真相也許就是類似《黑客帝國 Matrix》的世界。但我沒有身體上的感受，也沒有看到或感受到那個我認為的真實世界，這樣算不算開悟？ For example, I can logically accept or believe that the world we see is all an illusion and that the truth of the world may be similar to the world in The Matrix. But I don’t have the physical sensation, nor have I seen or felt the reality that I think exists. Would this count as enlightenment?

不算，不僅是邏輯上的理解，還要有感性的體會。對世界一切事物是虛幻的理解和體會是為了幫助解決一些在冥想禪修當中遇到的問題，例如以對世界空性的體會來放下執著等等。一切的道理和思想工具都只是是單純地為了幫助冥想禪修。而開悟只能透過禪修冥想來實現。
Understanding the concept that all things in the world are illusory requires not only logical comprehension but also perceptual understanding. This understanding and perception is meant to help solve issues encountered during meditation and mindfulness practices, such as letting go of attachment through a realization of the emptiness of the world. All principles and thought tools are simply meant to aid meditation and mindfulness practices. Enlightenment can only be achieved through meditation and mindfulness practices.
「大道至簡」: 禪修就是單純對意識的理解與體會的融合

冥想（打坐）是否能開悟？ Can meditation lead to enlightenment?

可以。《道德經》和《太平經》所指的守一、莊子的坐忘、佛教的「觀自在」、「止觀」與「定慧」等等都是「冥想」，並提出透過冥想來解脫潛意識對顯意識的依附和影響。
Certainly. The “Oneness” referred to in the Tao Te Ching and the Tai Ping Jing, the “Zuo Wang” of Zhuangzi, and the “Samadhi,” “Vipassana,” and “Samatha-Vipassana” of Buddhism, all refer to “meditation,” and suggest that through meditation, one can liberate oneself from the attachment and influence of the subconscious on the conscious mind.
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

冥想（打坐）的目的是什麼？ What is the purpose of meditation?

讓顯意識獲得所有控制權，潛意識被清空的狀態。最後超越潛意識的最後抵抗造成的瀕死（被稱為「涅槃」，被認為是一種死亡的考驗）後成為覺悟者（阿羅漢 ）。狀態類似《清靜經》中所指的極致的靜。
The purpose is to allow the conscious mind to gain complete control while the subconscious mind is emptied. Eventually, one surpasses the final resistance from the subconscious mind, leading to a state of near-death (Nirvana, which is considered a test of death), and becomes an awakened one (Arhat). This state is similar to the ultimate stillness referred to in the “Qing Jing Jing” (Sutra of Pure and Tranquil Mind).
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita
《太上老君常說清靜經》The Classic of Always Being Pure and Tranquil (Qingjing Jing), Spoken by Laozi of the Highest Clarity－正統原始道教冥想修行之法 The Meditation Method of Authentic Primitive Taoist Practice

神通是否存在？ Does supernatural power exist?

神通只存在於意識層面，在對肉體的脫離的狀態下才會顯現。
Supernatural power only exists in the realm of consciousness and will only manifest when one is detached from the physical body.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.

神通更類似於禪定中的幻覺？ Is supernatural power more like an illusion in meditation?

是副作用。在禪修當中出現的種種異像只是一些多餘的大腦訊息，更甚會令人因為異像而自我滿足後造成境界停滯。
It is a side effect. The various illusions that appear during meditation are only some unnecessary signals in the brain, which may cause one to become stagnant in their practice due to self-satisfaction from illusion.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.

神通是自己大腦偽造出來的嗎？ Is supernatural power something that the brain creates?

視乎當時人的情況。有可能是幻覺，但你無從分辨，既然無法分辨就捨棄這些似幻似真的感覺。
It depends on the situation of the individual. It could be an illusion, but since it is impossible to distinguish, it is best to abandon these seemingly illusory feelings.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.

如何能看到或感受到佛教所指的「真實」？How can one see or feel the “truth” that Buddhism refers to?

不被潛意識影響， 讓顯意識完全顯露。超越本能和潛意識對顯意識的限制 （情緒、慾望甚至對死亡的恐懼）。
By not being influenced by the subconscious mind and allowing the conscious mind to fully manifest. To transcend instincts (limitations of emotions, desires, and even fear of death).
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

透過冥想（打坐）實現開悟的唯一條件是「抛棄掉所有感官與思維的干擾」？ Is the only condition for achieving enlightenment by meditation is “abandon all interference from the senses and thoughts”?

沒錯，在純意識層面抛棄掉所有感官與思維的干擾。
Yes, it is to completely abandon all interference from the senses and thoughts in a purely conscious realm.
原始佛法本為「意識學」為何佛法卻常常被誤解成「哲學」或「心靈雞湯」甚至「宗教」Why is it that the original Buddhist teachings, which were meant to be a study of consciousness, are often misunderstood as “philosophy”, “inspirational literature”, or even “religion”?
原始佛教的本質 The Essence of Primitive Buddhism — 唯一正確摩訶般若波羅密多心經詳解 A detailed and correct explanation of the Heart Sutra of Prajnaparamita

冥想（打坐）初學者常常感受到自己被自己的思維束縛，並未進入潛意識世界，甚至感受不到潛意識的存在，該如何理解潛意識對顯意識的束縛？Beginner meditators often feel that their thoughts are holding them back from entering the subconscious world, and may not even sense the presence of their subconscious. How should we understand the subconscious’s hold on the conscious mind?

其實這是典型對自己意識運作缺乏深刻認識而形成的誤解和錯誤判斷。被思維「束縛」其實和顯意識（理性）無關，「束縛」其實是一種「力」去驅動和影響顯意識去思考。例如你的潛意識不斷給你念頭，你又不斷投入念想去思考，然後又排洩出一些情緒和慾望（自我感覺良好，好奇慾，對未知的執著等等）。這些情緒和慾望又反過來鼓勵你不斷投入思考，這種情況就等於你的顯意識被潛意識在背後驅動和控制，潛意識在背後偽裝成顯意識的行為，讓人感覺不到潛意識的存在，因為潛意識最怕是被「覺知」。要理解潛意識和顯意識之間的關係和運作，必須要先抽離後以第三身角度觀察內在意識運作，盡可能先分離潛意識對顯意識依附，再分別進行觀察和體會。
In fact, this is a misunderstanding and a misjudgment that arises from a lack of profound understanding of one’s own consciousness. Being “held back” by thoughts is actually not related to the conscious mind (reason), but rather a “force” that drives and influences the conscious mind to think. For example, if your subconscious keeps giving you thoughts, and you keep investing in thinking about them, and then releasing some emotions and desires (feeling good, curiosity, attachment to the unknown, etc.), these emotions and desires will encourage you to keep thinking. This situation is equivalent to your conscious mind being driven and controlled by the subconscious mind behind the scenes. The subconscious mind disguises itself as the behavior of the conscious mind, making it difficult to sense its presence, because the subconscious mind is most afraid of being “aware”. To understand the relationship and operation between the subconscious and conscious mind, one must first detach and observe the inner consciousness from a third-person perspective, try to separate the attachment of the subconscious to the conscious mind, and then observe them separately to gain insight.
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.
避免陷入因對世界的過度好奇而產生的思考消耗與疲勞 Avoid the mental exhaustion and fatigue that comes from being overly curious about the world

冥想打座會否「走火入魔」？ Will meditating lead to “possession by spirits” (or being “crazy”)?

坊間流傳有很多種冥想方法， 不論古時流傳在各種宗教經典當中的方法， 例如原始道教中的「守一」、莊子的「坐忘」、佛教的「定慧」（或稱「止觀」）、《清靜經》的內觀方法和《太乙金華宗旨》提及的「回光之法」等等，現代在互聯網上也有很多各式各樣的自我催眠或者冥想方法，例如「阿卡西紀錄」冥想法、薩滿心靈動物冥想法、氣功觀身冥想法、神像觀修法、「地獄旅遊」等等新興的冥想甚至「通靈」方法，例如基督靈恩教派的「聖靈擊倒與方言」、巫術宗教文化的「僮身法」等等。 的確， 有部份人沒有了解過自己的意識運作之前就嘗試各式各樣的冥想方法最後導致出現一些嚴重的精神問題，甚至出現被認為是「鬼附」的現象求助各類型宗教的法師為其作出驅鬼行為， 甚至因此流傳冥想打座前需要設定「結界」或進行一些宗教儀式如曬聖水、在一個受神保護的地方進行冥想等等，不然就如打開身體的「門」後被鬼所附體。導致這些意識上的問題其根本原因是「錯誤的冥想方法和動機」。
There are many types of meditation methods that have been passed down through various religious scriptures throughout history, such as the “guarding the one” method in original Taoism, the “sitting and forgetting” method in Zhuangzi, the “samadhi and prajna” (or “stopping and seeing”) method in Buddhism, the introspective method in the “Qingjing Jing,” and the “method of returning light” mentioned in the “Taiyi Jinhua Zongzhi,” etc. Nowadays, there are also many different self-hypnosis or meditation methods available on the internet, such as the “Akashic Records” meditation method, the shamanic animal spirit meditation method, the qigong visualization meditation method, the statue contemplation method, the “hell travel” meditation, and even “mediumship” methods e.g. the “falling of the Holy Spirit and speaking in tongues” in the Pentecostal denomination, and the “possession ceremony” in witchcraft religious culture, and so on. However, some people who have not understood how their consciousness works have tried various meditation methods without proper guidance, resulting in serious mental problems and even phenomena believed to be “possession by spirits,” leading them to seek help from various religious masters to perform exorcism rituals. Therefore, it is said that one needs to set up a “boundary” or perform some religious rituals such as sunning holy water or meditating in a place protected by gods before meditating, otherwise, one may be possessed by spirits like opening the door to one’s body. The root cause of these conscious problems is “wrong meditation methods and motivations.”
根據本人了解，很多所謂「錯誤的冥想」行為導致精神失常的情況大概有以下幾點： Based on my understanding, there are several factors that can lead to mental disorders caused by so-called “wrong meditation” practices:
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1. 帶著過度的情緒慾望和一些不切實際的期待和執著進行冥想行為。例如為了看見死去的親人、為了到地獄旅行、為了開自己的「第三眼」、為了知道自己的所謂「心靈動物」等等奇怪的目的進行冥想打座行為。帶著大量的情緒慾望和執著去冥想打座是非常危險的行為。 Engaging in meditation with excessive emotional desires and unrealistic expectations and attachments, such as meditating to see deceased relatives, travel to hell, open one’s “third eye,” or know one’s so-called “spirit animal.” Meditating with a lot of emotional desires and attachments is a very dangerous behaviour.
   
2. 過度投入到自己潛意識的幻象。即使身體出現一點點「異常（副作用）」也會對其異常執著；也會有人看到很多潛意識所提供的「畫面」， 並主動地投入和窮追一些在冥想期間潛意識製造的虛幻的處境當中， 不能自拔。 Overly indulging in illusions of one’s subconscious mind. Even if the body experiences a little “abnormality (side effect),” some people will be extremely attached to it. Some may see a lot of “images” provided by their subconsciousness and actively immerse themselves in and pursue some illusory situations created by their subconsciousness during meditation, unable to extricate themselves.
   
3. 在冥想打座期間一遇到任何問題馬上主動放棄顯意識的控制，完全交出自己意識的所有控制權給潛意識，導致潛意識當中儲存的「垃圾」大量湧現，例如童年陰影、情緒慾望等等。在冥想期間完全放棄顯意識對潛意識的覺知和平等心，甘願被潛意識吞噬是對自己非常不負責任和消極的行為，這也是大多數人冥想後出現精神異常的主要原因。 Giving up conscious control at the slightest problem during the meditation period and completely surrendering all control of one’s consciousness to the subconsciousness, leads to a large amount of “garbage” stored in the subconsciousness emerging, such as childhood shadows, emotional desires, etc. Completely giving up the awareness and equanimity of the conscious mind towards the subconsciousness and willingly being swallowed up by the subconsciousness is very irresponsible and passive behaviour oneself, and it is also the main reason why most people experience mental abnormalities after meditation.
   

冥想打座是「禪修」的其中一種方法，「禪修」的本質是平等心與覺知力的顯意識訓練，擺脫潛意識對顯意識的依附。禪修就像在大海行駛上的船一樣，思緒、情緒和慾望等等就像海上的各種情況，有風平浪靜的時候，也有狂風暴雨的時候。訓練自己面對狂風暴雨的平等心和覺知在大海航行每一刻的變化，不要翻船沉入大海，這就是禪修。
Meditation is a practice that trains the conscious with equanimity and mindfulness, to get rid of subconscious attachment to conscious. It is like sailing on the ocean, where thoughts, emotions, and desires are like various conditions on the sea. Sometimes there are calm winds and smooth sailing, while other times there are storms and rough waters. Through this practice, we train ourselves to face the changing conditions of the sea with equanimity and mindfulness, so that we do not capsize and sink into the ocean. This is meditation.
正確的禪修狀態必然是顯意識活躍，人會進入異常清醒明朗和極度專注的狀態，潛意識在這期間的控制權會被大大削弱，所以是完全沒有理由需要擔心任何外來或內在的原因導致因冥想而突然精神失常 。 開始冥想之前不要對冥想有太大期望，想從冥想得到某種神通和智慧，或者期望冥想一定能帶給你平靜喜悅，這會對冥想產生執著。冥想也是有無常起伏，可能進行冥想幾個月也體會不到明顯個人變化，但不要太執著階段性的結果及過去的冥想經驗，每日堅持一步步來，靜看花開，在冥想當中體驗當下每一刻。
The correct state of meditation necessarily involves active consciousness. People will enter a state of abnormal clarity and extreme focus, and the control of the subconscious will be greatly weakened during this period. Therefore, there is absolutely no reason to worry about any external or internal factors causing sudden mental illness due to meditation. Before starting meditation, do not have high expectations for it, such as wanting to gain supernatural powers and wisdom, or expecting meditation to bring you peace and joy. This will lead to attachment in your practice. Meditation has ups and downs; you may not notice significant personal changes even after months of practice. Don’t be too attached to the results or past meditation experiences. Persist in taking it one step at a time, quietly observing the blossoming of flowers and experiencing every moment in your practice.
原始佛教「止觀雙運」(或稱「定慧雙修」）冥想打坐和控制情緒慾望方法詳解 In-depth explanation of the primitive Buddhism’s “Samatha-Vipassana” meditation, emotion and desire control
認識禪修冥想當中可能出現的意識訊號 （副作用）和極大地提升情緒控制和禪修冥想效率的方法Understanding the consciousness signals (“side effects”) that may arise during Zen meditation and greatly improving emotional control and the efficiency of Zen meditation.
正確原始佛法修行目的與方向－「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」亦即是「無上正等正覺」The correct purpose and direction of original Buddhist practice is to attain “Anuttara-samyak-sambodhi”, which is also known as “supreme perfect enlightenment and equality”

My boyfriend (29M) and I (26F) were dating for 8 months. He lived out of state (2 flights away) so we met each other every 3-4 months for about 5 days each time. whenever we are together, it felt amazing. he felt like home. we really enjoyed our time together and I was very happy. However, last month I got to know that he was still talking to his ex. he had lied to me that they broke up a year ago and have not been in contact since. this ex was a very very long relationship, probably about 12 yrs. she lives abroad and so they have been doing long distance for over 8yrs. they have had continuous problems, dating on and off, taking breaks, him seeing other people etc. he has been trying to break up with her forever however had not had the courage to since their families are involved. his family and hers are in close contact as they've been dating for years. he faces extreme family pressure and backlash whenever he brought up breaking up with her in the past. mind you, we're from an Asian background and families are very tight-knit and hard to convince. when he met me, he was determined to go see both families and end it once and for all however, till then, he spoke to his ex on and off like any couple would. she thought they were still dating, although the facetiming was limited to probably 2-3 times a week, emotionless and distant.
he was a completely different person with me. he would call me countless times a day, respond to my texts within minutes, would check up on me all the time, would stay on call whenever I’m driving late night, would send me food if I hadnt eaten. And whenever we met, oh the butterflies! he would cook for us, cuddle me, treat me like no man had ever treated me before.
when I got to know this, I was devastated. his sister had involved my family into this problem, telling them to ask me to back off and all that drama. and so my family is completely against this relationship now. when I confronted him about this, he told me that he wanted to let his ex down softly, so that none of the parties would be hurt. I am having a hard time believing that he ever loved me and I am utterly confused as to if I can ever trust him again. I don’t know what to do.

Hi all! Heading to Iceland mid July for a few weeks. We are newlyweds, hikers and huge outdoors fans. We have a camper renter from Go Campers for 12 days to camp and drive around the ring road. We have picked 10 stops to do along the route: 1: arrive, get car, camping in Reykjavik 2: golden circle - Hveragerdi campground 3: Vik (seljalandsfoss, black sand beach) - Vik Campground 4: Jokulsarlon (glacier lagoon, diamond beach)- Jokulsarlon Campground 5: Hofn (glacier hike maybe) - Hofn Campground 6: Egilsstadir (hengifoss) - Egilsstadir Campground 7: Lake Myvatn (geothermal, nature baths) Myvatn camping ground 8: Akureyri (waterfall, town) - Akureyri campground 9: Hvammstangi (seal watching, rock formation) 10: Stykkisholmur 11 : drive back to Reykjavik
We have 12 days and want to plan as we go depending on weather, maybe modify some things and stay longer in others. Through reading this sub I understand the golden circle may not be somewhere we want to spend a tone of time if we will drive around the ring road.
My questions are : -Should we book campgrounds ahead of time (all research said we should be good but I'm worried!)? -Is there something I should account for taking more time or somewhere I could skip (visit but not stay)?

Before I go into this again I have to mention this. My original post was removed under some confusion regarding the title and content. After talking with a mod over this I have taken it upon myself to just redo this post.
A brief history of Spintires and its sequels. Spintires originally came out in 2014 as an independently produced game on steam. It was a game where you were a logging trucker in the depths of Eastern Europe and North-Central Asia. You had access to quite a few demilitarized soviet vehicles and the challenge of the game was managing fuel, time, and route planning to make it from point to point on a large map while having to traverse mud, rocks, fallen trees, road debris, sand, rivers, and streams. It is a rather challenging game and the sequels Mudrunner (2017) and Snowrunner (2020) build on this premise.
The intellectual property rights of this game have changed hands since Spintires was released hence the naming convention changing constantly. This is very confusing for people new to the series. Spintires was developed by Oovee Game Studios and then the rights were handed off to Saber Interactive and Focus Home Interactive. Oovee at this point is down to the original dev, Pavel, who had been supporting the game for some time on his own and keeping the game afloat. On January 6th 2021 the game would receive its final update 1.7.1
https://store.steampowered.com/news/app/263280/view/2935750925522349297?l=english
The game had recently released a DLC set in China which was released December 15, 2020. Following this post was the removal of the game from the Steam store page Some time around 12:00 pm. It was unclear what was going on at first, but it got out that Pavel was in legal dispute with the IP holders of MudRunner and SnowRunner. When a game is legally disputed, it is pulled from the steam store and the community hub is all that remains. It seemed after some time that the disputes were settled, but to this day the game is still no longer avaliable on Steam or anywhere on the internet. The final update post has currently 1,812 thumbs up and 186 comments making it one of the more active parts of the community forum.
I am not an expert on the story and it seems a lot of it is disputed and unclear to the outside observer. Instead of unintentionally spreading misinformation I will leave the legal case here.
https://www.pacermonitor.com/public/case/41684378/Saber_Interactive_Inc_v_Oovee_Ltd_et_al
It is an unfortunate turn of events to have a game as good as this and as young as this disappear. I hope it comes back and things can go back to normal, but I have long since given up on that. If something can be done to make sure this game doesn't fade away I would love to support it.

Humans have an expression. No. That’s wrong.
Humans have many expressions relating to what I’m going to say next.
‘Think of it as being bitten by a stray dog’ refers to an unfortunate and unforeseeable event.
‘When it rains it pours.’ Refers to how bad things tend to come in groups.
And my personal ‘sort of’ favorite, ‘When something can go wrong, it invariably will, and at the worst possible moment.’ Commonly referred to as ‘Murphy’s Law’, at first glance it would appear to contradict what my people refer to as the law of Independent Causality, which states that positive and negative events can take place without respect to circumstance.
But it keeps to the Law of Dependent Causality, which states that structural or systemic flaws are often exposed by temporally proximate but seemingly independent events. I know, it’s complicated. A simple way to understand it is this…
Suppose you have a bridge, and the bridge collapses during a storm. Now you have no bridge. Well, why did the bridge collapse? Simply put, it fell apart because of ‘weather’ which is an independent event from the bridge’s collapse.
However, the bridge was weak because the maintenance wasn’t performed properly, and ithat wasn’t performed properly because there was corruption involved, paying somebody for work that they were either not performing at all or were underperforming to increase their profits.
Because you have a corruption problem, the bridge collapse is only one sign of a problem that is far more widespread. If you start checking ‘other’ construction projects, you’ll find similar results. Thus when you start spotting other issues, you are seeing ‘dependent causation’ which is to say…
To borrow another human idiom, you found the bad apple that’s spoiling the bunch.
You might wonder why I’m saying all this, particularly since it wasn’t in the first edition of this volume.
I added this so there would be some context to some other external events that were taking place ion the far reaches of the galaxy. Events… nobody really recognized yet as being related, largely because at this point in time, we just didn’t talk to each other very much.
This is something difficult for later generations to really comprehend, now that it’s simply a given that the various species communicate regularly and that trade takes place on more than just isolated space stations that route goods to planetary or moon colonies.
But at this point in time, human and dlamisan species were unique in that we spoke as much as we did. Our governmental leaders, civil and military, genuinely took a liking to one another and would spend abundant time together.
But mowentari, avinris, leonid, maxiki, and the countless other species, did not typically remain in long term persistent contact with each other, and what humans refer to as ‘nomanslands’ were exceptionally common, with border friction great and only certain paths of travel considered ‘acceptable’ and therefore protected.
It made piracy common and the zenti, not to mention other piratical groups, could go deep into the galaxy by following the many branches of the Sindari Road or by other, little used paths to establish themselves and raid peoples even far from their own borders.
And since nobody talked to one another and border tensions were always tight, not only were cleanups of pirate activity rare, but even knowing that losses were taking place was little reported, at home or abroad.
A mining station being destroyed in avinris territory would not be spoken of to the mowentari. The mowentari would not tell the leonids, and nobody would tell Dlamias if there was a pattern of destruction from other bases, leading toward dlamisan territory.
If it seems like madness… it is. Or was. Depending on when you read this.
But it was so normal that we all just accepted it.
And when I say ‘we’, I mean this necessarily includes ‘me’. At least until I began the phase of my experimentation that involved the multispecies combat tournaments.
The gravity of that error on all our parts was made evident when I reached out to Livingston and informed him of what I’d learned.
He was seated behind his desk and staring down his snout at me. “I assume I don’t want to know where you got that information, and I can probably guess, regardless.”
“You probably can, sir.” I said, choosing to be formal while I sat in my room in the basement of the Walker house. It was as good as confirmation, and he scratched beneath his jaw.
“A few years ago, I would have had you hauled off and deported over this.” He said as his ears drooped. “But… everything is different now. And I don’t just mean the fact that you’re no longer a mere impoverished student.”
Having my status elevated was no small thing, it wasn’t something my people did lightly, and this is especially true without ‘formal’ status. In name, I was no different, but since my life had ‘evolved’ a few new roles, deporting me would have been a disruption, and I no longer had anything to fear about that.
“Thank you, sir.” My tongue lolled out of my mouth as I gave him a polite nod to acknowledge his quiet praise for my usefulness.
“Don’t thank me yet.” He answered, and then said, “It’s because of your…usefulness as a backchannel. , I want you to go back to your fighters, the leonid, the mowentari, the avinris, and speak to your fellow students too. I want you to feel out the possibility of a general ‘Rapax Conference’, something covert. Like the earlier idea of military operations.”
“They’ll ask to what purpose.” I prompted, the fine fur on his body was standing on end, and the tension rose another notch as he leaned toward the viewscreen.
“This. Does not. Reach. Anyone. Else. Am I understood, Bailey Walker. The humans know. I know. Your mate knows. I do not know if anyone of the others haves been experiencing the same thing, but we need to find out.” Livingston stared at me with a long, silent look that said I had better be taking him seriously.
For a moment I wasn’t sure who he meant… then it hit me. ‘Bonny Red knows…whatever it is? What did she find?!’ My academic curiosity was piqued.
“I understand. I won’t even speak to Fauve.” I promised.
“She’ll know soon enough anyway.” He grumbled, and then after what felt like an eternity he said…
“Colonies are disappearing. So are colony ships, and so are entire space stations. Not just ours. But some of the small human settlements that were meant to lay the foundations for future colonies. If it is happening to both us and humans. M, my colleague and I are concerned if it might not be more widespread. And what’s more, the same thing is happening among the Praeda class species. Bonny Red’s excursion found abandoned, damaged, destroyed outposts, colonies, floating hulks… something is amiss, and it appears this is the cause for the Praeda arming for war.”
“Did we do it?” I asked point blank. It was the sort of thing Dlamias would do if it ensured a long term victory, our highly militarized society would not play games of chance with our future if we could avoid it.
“No. I can confirm that we had nothing to do with it. For one thing, Gaozu is on Earth. He has been for months at least, and the last time he left, it wasn’t for long. If we were behind it, he would be in charge.” Livingston’s protest rang true to me.
He was our best, it would be inconceivable for him to be offworld, let alone attending my sporting events every week while a proxy or covert war was being waged.
“Alright. I understand. I’ll reach out immediately and have my fighters contact their embassies and suggest that there are some explosive matters to discuss and the problem won’t vanish if it is ignored. They’ll take the hint.” I could promise that much.
Like I said.
Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, and at the worst possible time. And it seems the human expression did not go far enough, when it rains, it pours, and then it floods.