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2009.10.03 16:59 lovesong520 anyone there?

A community for people who are depressed or suffer from depression. If you're depressed, feeling hopeless, or if someone you know suffers from depression, feel free to share your feelings, your situation, and what's on your mind.

2014.03.25 17:23 Ampstin One should not attend even the end of the world without a good breakfast

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day; so, how did you start yours off? A full stack of pancakes? Cold pizza from the night before? Post your pictures, share your recipes, get hungry for the day ahead.

2012.05.11 00:24 doom2knight Welcome to stienyland, Welcome Home

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their kangs.-Josh stein

2023.05.30 12:34 DifficultIncrease845 Am I(24M) overreacting and being possessive in my relationship?

This is long so please bear with me.
A bit of background. I (an extreme introvert) and my gf(23F, an extreme extrovert) have been dating for the past 5 months. We were kinda best friends and I confessed last December. She first rejected saying relationships are like "mental torture", "it won't work out", "it will be a problem in her home" etc after a week of ignoring each other we spoke again. She tried to convince me to stay friends and I asked her to think about it and that we can't go back to being normal. She was crying and hurting so I backed off. But on New yr Eve I asked her one last time and she said yes. The next day she found out I was from a different caste so after 3 days of crying she broke up with me(Let's call this " the caste breakup"). We didn't speak to each other for 2-3 weeks but unfortunately used to work at the same place so it was awkward, I said let's at least cut social media contact for now. Then she said she didn't mean that break up and she was trying to think of a plan to manage her family. She felt so guilty that she tried to hurt herself on the hand. She said she only broke up with me for the time being but we talked about not taking these kinds of decisions alone and finally got back together.
We both have different texting habits. Whenever she's out with her friends or goes to her hometown she texts me at the end of the day to tell me everything abt her day but I'm always texting her to the point where people complain abt me always being on the phone. But no complaints from my side. I know I need to give her space.
Now this is where the actual problem starts, Timeline is of 3 days -
Friday night(the day before she goes to her hometown) - she cried a lot and said "She's not correct for me", "she's not treating me right", "She doesn't behave properly" and talked about how she's losing interest in herself and life, talked about self-harm and asked me to leave her repeatedly. I reassured her about our relationship and made her reluctantly promise that she will tell me whenever she has these thoughts again. I said let's talk properly about this when u r back. She said ok.
Saturday - She went home and slept the whole day and I was also out with my friend so we didn't talk much. But She was ok till Saturday evening. There was no msg on Saturday night, slept early ig.
Sunday - single-word reply to Saturday's msg and that's it. I said "Good morning" but there was no reply. She kept sending snaps and uploading stories throughout the day but nothing on my chat. Only a "good evening" in the evening and "abt to sleep" msg at night. Thats it. No usual "update abt her day" at night. I thought she was completely ignoring me.
Monday - She came back to the city in the morning. Didnt tell me when she came back. The way I found out was through a snap she sent me in the afternoon. I thght she was going to break up with me for my own good. I got flashbacks from "the caste breakup"(because she does the "I'm doing this for ur own sake" thing). So I didn't text her. we didn't speak the whole day.
Later that night she asked me if I was upset that she didn't reply on Sunday. She kept telling me about how her relatives came and she was busy with them etc. I said I understand all of that but is your behavior over the past 3 days normal? she got irritated and said "UK I give late replies when I'm at home right?" and straight up just said "ok sorry for spending time with my family". I said, "after what happened on Friday, how can u not text me properly for 2-3 days. What should I make of this situation?" and she said "what do u mean "what should i make of this situation?" what did u think?". I asked her to stop and analyze what happened over the last 3 days and look at it from my perspective. She didn't answer that. She repeatedly kept saying she was busy so didn't text but I didn't text her even though I was free. she got irritated and brushed it off saying she'll text me next time. Then I said I thought u were going to break up with me. Ur behavior on Sunday was not usual and on top of that with what happened on Friday it was very worrisome. She apologized but asked why is sunday not "usual behavior", I said its not because we never went a whole day with only 3 msgs. She kept saying she was busy with her relatives and went to a movie. Plz try to understand. etc. I said I would have texted her "I'm watching a movie" before or in interval or after the movie. She said just after the movie she was supposed to meet her friend so she called and told her that she can't. This is the reason she didn't text me(didn't make any sense to me). Whenever I ask her about something like this she compares me with her frnds saying she's like this with everyone(Should I not expect some sort of special treatment from her?). She just wasn't having any of this. She said her behavior on Sunday was absolutely normal. So I just said ok I think I'm being too clingy, obsessive, and possessive about u. I'll back off a little. I'll also text u only when I'm free. I won't bother u when u r busy. she said ok fine.
Did I cave in or am I the actual problem? I'm very confused. Please let me know.
TL; DR - GF said she was not correct for me, talked about self-harm, and asked me to leave her. Then she didn't speak properly with me for 3 days. thought she was going to break up and when I asked about it she acted like I was overreacting. Am i the problem in this relationship?
submitted by DifficultIncrease845 to RelationshipIndia [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 12:24 Spare-Reputation-809 Desperate

I have a long complicated story for the past three years but to put it simply I am suffering from fatigue and other issues.
I train a lot - 10 hours plus a week but when I wake in the morning can barely get out of bed and all day have this brain fog, fatigue etc. So I went through the system and eventually after two years diagnosed with mild sleep apnea.
However here in the UK for NHS treatment I fell just below the necessary level for CPAP machines etc so left in this non mans land.
Take today woke up at 5.15 to cycle to work and yet felt so 'punch drunk' I could not, luckily can work from home but as I type this could go back to bed easily. If I could post an image here you can see nominally slept for 8 and half hours in the end but feels like 4 hours.
I have no idea how I can change this, my wife often kicks me out of bed not because of snoring but because I make these choking like noises.
this has only happened over the past 3 years (now 51) and before I used to be able to sleep for 6 hours only and felt fighting fit. I did have a bad snoring issue 20 years ago but that was sorted out with a septoplasty.
Interesting though that my daughter had her anenoids and tonsils out at three and I feel I have a genetic problem there but my consultant said because readings were only mild would do nothing.
I feel desperate at this as struggle to concentrate, heightens my depression which I have had diagnosed for 30 years and see no way out.
Anyone got any advice for me ? I am trying to badger my GP but the test was kind of pathetic one day with a monitoring device, thats it.
submitted by Spare-Reputation-809 to SleepApnea [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 12:18 vvk_ Couldn't get into my flat because of safety lock mechanism. Housing Association customer service team did not provide relevant advise on the day

I came home one Sunday morning to find that the safety lock mechanism on my front door is not working and I could not open the door. I live in a shared ownership flat. In my panic, I called an emergency locksmith. While he was assessing the situation, I gave the Housing Association out-of-hours support team a call, explained that I was locked out and asked about making a claim for some of the money back. They didn't give me any information, just told me to call back on Monday. The emergency locksmith proceeded with opening the door and changing the lock mechanism, which cost over £3k. When I called the Housing Association during work hours, I was told that the out-of-hours could have sent their own emergency contractor to help open the door and also they told me that as someone else has worked on the door, any insurance has been forfeited.
I started talks with the Housing Association about their out-of-hours service. I believe it is a service failure for the out-of-hours team to not provide any information. Secondly, someone from the customer service team delayed my formal complaint with a promise for a made-up investigation. They said that they would check how much it would have cost the Housing Association to send someone over and provide me access to the flat. However, they only came back stating that a new door cost £900 and why the locksmith didn't opt in to replace the door instead. I also requested access to any communication for the case, it has already been 2 months and I haven't received them.
Do you think I have a case to keep chasing and trying to get some of those money back? It seems like broken door lock is not very often covered by insurers. Also, is there an accepted level of service the out-of-hours team should provide?
submitted by vvk_ to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 12:06 Drakolf Dragon Rising- 6. Deluge:

There were enough barrels, tubs, buckets, bottles, cups, gallon jugs, pots, pans, cauldrons, and empty cans to collect a shit ton of water.
We needed roughly 70,000 gallons of water just for one day.
Each person got at least three.
It was more water than we had to start with, but it was enough for the time being.
What was weird for me was that it only started raining after everything was in place. Thinking in terms of it being a miracle, it certainly seemed that way. I couldn't bring myself to just think in terms of it actually being a real miracle.
It was serendipitous.
But not a miracle.
That didn't stop Galax from preaching like it was.
"My brothers and sisters of the Warren, Bahamut provides!" It was such a raw, emotional statement, I had no doubt he firmly believed it happened.
I'm not the kind of asshole atheist who thinks all religion is evil and that it should be banned from the earth entirely. Nor do I think of people who believe in them as deluded fools who should get a grip and face reality.
Hope can be a powerful thing, it can keep a person going even when everything has completely collapsed. It was why the Book of Job was an entire thing in the Christian bible.
So when we gathered for a Council meeting, we were all delighted to learn that Locate Object did find an aquifer, and that the Artificers and Druids were getting right on digging a well.
"We'll go with the classic design, straight down until we hit water, then surround the hole with large stones. We've got plenty to work with from the catacombs, so once we get it set up and the pump finished, we can look for other aquifers." Rekka finished her report.
"I should also note that the more specific I was with my request, the narrower the result was. There are a few aquifers in the area that replenish themselves fairly quickly. We should have enough water to sustain us if we ration it." Merti stated. "If our Rangers have anything to report, we'd love to hear it."
"Nothing yet." Tatla replied. "The rain made it difficult to tell what was constant and what was a result of it."
"We have enough water for roughly six days." I said. "How long until the wells are done?"
"We're estimating around three days.' Rekka said. "And that's just for the first well. We're having to scrap electronics we considered too vital to just break down, one of them being an actual water pump that requires gasoline. I'm fairly certain I can get it to run off of just straight electricity. I have my Artificers working on windmills as we speak."
"Galax, is something wrong?" Tudru asked.
We all looked at the Cleric, who was sat hunched over in his seat, eyes closed, arms crossed, and claws softly tapping at his arm in a wave motion.
"I had a vision." He said.
"Sorry, what?" Dave interjected from across the room.
"When the rain fell, I was struck with a vision." Galax stated. "In my vision, seven songbirds sang to me an old lullaby my mother used to sing to me as a child. As they flew away, I gave chase, following their song until I was parched. And as they perched upon a branch, I saw the merest glimmer of dew upon the leaves, and drank it until I was quenched."
He looked up at us. "This repeated two more times. They would lead me away until I was thirsty, and they would bring me to a branch covered in dew, which was just enough to keep me going." He thumbed the pendant he wore and said, "In three days, we will run out of water, and it will rain once more. And three days after that, we will run out of water, and it will rain." He looked at us with this strange intensity in his eyes.
"I firmly believe Bahamut has granted me these visions to give proof of his miracle. I humbly ask the Council, on the third day, have the people put out their barrels, and catch the rain that will surely come."
"Galax, we don't have time to waste on religion." Tatla said. "We are entrusted with peoples' lives, having them put their barrels out in the hope of rain is not going to make it rain."
"I agree with Galax." I said. Everyone shot me an incredulous look. "Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in any Gods, but I know he does. If he's certain there's a miracle, we can afford to put some barrels out." I looked at the others. "Worst case scenario, we have the barrels out for the next time it rains."
Tatla nodded. "Very well." She said grudgingly.
"Until then." Galax stated. "Now, onto the next part of our agenda. Electricity. I have a proposal."
"Speak your proposal." Merti said.
"Ruuk, it has come to my attention you have access to the spell Witch Bolt. We have rechargeable battery cells that can handle both direct and alternating currents. We want to see how much power one casting of Witch Bolt can give."
I nodded. "I'll be happy to." I said.
For the time being, things were stable. Our crops were well-watered from the rain, and we had a fairly basic irrigation system set up so all we needed to do was load up a barrel and let it do its job. Trying Witch Bolt on a lightning rod definitely charged up half of the ten batteries, with a little metamagic, I could charge them all up no problem.
"What's the plan with these power cells?" I asked.
"Charging power tools." Galax said. "We've just had our first egg laying this morning, we're going to need a nursery."
I gasped. "Wait, someone's having kids?" I asked.
Galax nodded. "Our more nurturing kin are already tending to the eggs, but we need a place to keep them safe. It's the duty of the Warren to nurture them."
It didn't even occur to me until later that what he said was at odds with what we had believed to be the proper way to raise kids. But the idea of them being kept together and raised by everyone made sense in my brain. Maybe it was some kind of instinct? I wasn't certain.
I saw Tallyn helping people out the best way he could. Seeing him doing everything in his limited power to help others always brought a smile to my face, it made the fact that there were still so many unawakened all the more sad.
"Out hatchlings might not even have the benefit of someone who knows what they're doing." I muttered.
The days continued, until the prophesied third day. Everyone put out their barrels, as asked, and for a while, nothing.
Galax fell to his knees. "I was so certain..." He said softly.
"We'll just have to get into the reserve supply." I said.
As I walked away, I heart him speak. I looked back to see him, head to the ground and hands clasped together above praying. I felt sorry for him. I couldn't imagine having that much faith, only to be proven wrong.
There was a loud crash, followed by a deluge of rain. I watched as Galax unclasped his hands and held his arms out, singing, like he had the last time. I looked up, it had been bright and clear literally moments ago, yet now the sky was full of dark clouds.
For a moment, I wondered if Galax was actually right, but that couldn't be. He must have known in advance or done some kind of magic.
I cast Detect Magic, and it certainly was magical rain, but the aura was too powerful for any of us to have pulled off. I walked over to Galax, who stood up and hugged me.
"Thank you, my brother, my friend. Thank you for granting me this even in doubt. May Bahamut bless you."
He began preaching again, arms raised up to the sky, screaming with intense fervor. I watched as people began to gather around him, eyes wide, listening to every word. Here he was, stood in a rainstorm, speaking of his vision, speaking of how Bahamut had granted me the wisdom to test his miracle, and then he shared the rest of his omen.
"In three days time, Bahamut shall grant us rain once again. We shall be as parched seekers, and this shall be our dew!"
The cheer that rose up in the crowd, their excitement, it was infectious. For a moment, I forgot I was supposed to be the skeptical one, simply because for one moment, I convinced myself this really was a miracle.
The next few days progressed much the same, except now Galax was proselytizing in the street, inviting people to come to the temple, to give thanks to the Dragon God.
He approached me, one time that I was watching. He took my hand, and he said, "The time to be apart from the Warren has long passed, Ruuk. Come, even if faith does not grip your heart, you are worthy to be among us."
The day of the supposed third miracle, we placed our barrels out once more, and Galax spoke. "I shall begin praying, and my God will bless us with rain, for he sees our strife, and knows our pain. You are not required to pray."
He dropped to his knees and began imploring Bahamut to grace us with rain once more. One by one, the people in the crowd fell to their knees, echoing his words, staring at the clear, blue sky.
There wasn't a single cloud, yet I found myself getting on my knees and putting my hands together. "Alright, Bahamut." I said. "Give me absolutely zero reason to doubt now."
The clouds appeared from nowhere, blossoming out like someone had turned on a fog machine in the sky. I watched in astonishment as the sky grew darker, and lightning crashed through the heavens. Rain fell upon us, lightning struck the ground not far from us, not just once, but several times, all in the same spot.
"Alright." I said. "I believe."
It was such an alien feeling, faith. I'd had it once before, long ago, had realized that it was pointless and stupid. Yet as the lighting continued to strike the same spot over and over again, I found myself lowering myself to the ground, head to the dirt, utterly shaken by how much I revered the Dragon God in such a short amount of time.

[Navigation for 'Dragon Rising'- [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]]
submitted by Drakolf to DrakolfsWritings [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 12:00 AutoNewspaperAdmin [AU] - A geological car crash: Five images that explain Melbourne’s earthquake Sydney Morning Herald

[AU] - A geological car crash: Five images that explain Melbourne’s earthquake Sydney Morning Herald submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 11:58 EmilyJanePeters Can you help me? I have one problem...

I have been following this topic for about 10 months, there were entries that I read with a smile, and there were also entries that I received a lot of inspiration from, but I guess it's time to ask questions.
I have had heart palpitations for about 10 months, the source of which has never been determined. (I had covid, yes, let me rewrite this once so if anyone asks, let the answer stay here.)
I went through 2 different profs, 2 specialist doctors, and 1 heart health check-up. Holter, 60 kinds of blood were also checked, usg's, imaging, everything was done, you can see... the result; your heart is beating high, but there is no problem in the imaging.. your blood tests are OK, there is no cholesterol, there is no this, no this. In fact, the last one I went to, the very sweet-hard prof, whom I liked a lot, "Would it be a pity to visit a doctor like this!" He concluded the examination. (Of course, after the tests are done.)
I was advised to use beloc zok, let me be frank, I did not use it in the first 6 months because I went to the doctor in September, and tests were done. the doctor gave the medicine; There were those who said that using it makes it worse. (There were people with medical knowledge among them, I did not do business on my own.)

Thank God, I got better in October, and I didn't have any problems until the end of January. Then in February, that absurd process started for me. When I say doctors-emergency-control check-ups (by the way, I have Hashimoto and panic attacks, but those processes were also eliminated) I have been using 50 mg beloc zok a day for 2.5 months. Well, the process wasn't going bad. I had calmed down but frankly, my heart woke me up by beating inside this morning and I am still not fully recovered. You know, I stand up, I see my strength, there is no sweating, etc. but my head is in an extreme state of alarm, I will take my beloc at around 14.00 as always ... this beloc is a separate problem, no it causes blurred eyes, sometimes it causes constipation, sometimes It makes idiots, etc. But we still love it, that's another matter...
Guys, I'm looking for a solution. You know how important it is for someone with panic attacks and anxiety to make sense of the processes and find answers to the process. ee I've been in this loop for months (with outgoing-incoming situations) how do we do it now? (As I said again, there is no problem psychologically at this point; I am already taking therapy. There is no trigger, the state of the country or something else has been digested by me now.)
By the way, I have to say this; I work in a home office; I will start swimming again in June, I try to walk at a moderate pace, not every day, but yes, I am not a very active person.
I reduced the coffee to 1 cup a day, I don't smoke. I haven't been drinking alcohol for the last 2-3 months.
I am waiting for your wonderful and effective answers, even if it does not come, thank you very much.
treat yourself well, regards and greetings.
submitted by EmilyJanePeters to HealthQuestions [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 11:54 RiddledMeChris Resources

NewsXero affiliate has his Twitter account suspended on April 11th
Girl On Cinema;
Twitter account deleted April 16th
AEW Botches;
One of many alt-accounts, KennyOlivier69, is banned from Twitter on May 8th
New Posts
Section 1;
Math? Numbers? What is this fed shill talking about. AEW has a 1B deal with WBD(supposedly).
Section 4;
Section 5;
submitted by RiddledMeChris to u/RiddledMeChris [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 11:40 Fabulously_Shitfaced Update on Xbox One?

I put in my disc to play this morning - I was playing Fallout 4 Saturday and used the Xbox to play a DVD Sunday - and it told me Fallout 4 needed to download an update. I've heard that the next-gen consoles will be getting an update, but what is the content of the update for the Xbox One? Anyone know? I tried searching the subreddit but all the results I got were about the promised next gen update
submitted by Fabulously_Shitfaced to fo4 [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 11:31 NoooNotTheLettuce My cat ran away while I was out of town

I did a little weekend trip and left my cat with my parents, which I've done many times. He's an indoor cat who we occasionally let outside but 95% of the time he's inside. There have been a couple times that we forgot to let him but in the morning he's always right outside the door waiting to come back in
But this weekend as soon as I got back Sunday my parents said they think he got out Saturday night and haven't seen him since, which is very uncharacteristic. The weird thing about it is they didn't actually see him run out. My dad is bad about leaving the side door open and he'll try and run out but he's not very sneaky about it. We've searched everywhere inside to no avail but I still have a bad feeling that he's dead somewhere in the house.
I've been looking everywhere the past couple days and he's nowhere to be found. I set out his carrier, food, water, notified neighbos, and put our a shirt that has my scent but none of it has worked. There are cayotes we hear a ways away from the house that I keep thinking about. Just the thought of him being eaten by cayotes makes me ball.
I just want my cat back. He's just 4 and is the sweetest cat in the world. I can't even imagine life without him. I'm trying to stay positive but fear the worst. They say lost indoor cats don't wander too far from home but I've searched every inch of our property and nothing. He must have either wandered much further than normal or have had something happen to him. I just think if he could come home, he would.
Has anyone had a similar experience? It's only been a couple days and I know many cats will disappear for over a week but a clingy indoor cat being gone even just one day sets off alarm bells but maybe it still happens
I just want my friend back. He means the world to. When I'm not searching for him I'm crying. Please be safe.
submitted by NoooNotTheLettuce to Petloss [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 11:15 funbetweenthesheets Is she a narcissist? Am I?

Hey everyone! Sorry first, english is not my native language! Sometimes struggling how to word things.
I've only recently started doubting things, doubting my relationship.
I want to give you a little background. We've been together since 2005, married since 2016. She has ADHD, refuses medication or therapy.
Ok, so... Obviously in the beginning everything was fantastic. I helped her move away from her parents, who were in my eyes definitely abusive, especially her mother. Helped her build her own life. She was 19 back then, I was 24. We both had a big circle of friends, and support from my parents and brother, plus some of her family.
I don't even know exactly how it came to this, but 18 years later I have no friends left, neither does she. We still have our families, but that's it. There was always something wrong with my friends... And I believed her, thought so myself. I didn't want to spend time with them anymore. I stopped most of my hobbies, all I do now is travel with her or play video games.
I believe I may know what made me question things. Things have changed.
So about half a year ago I started a new job. 100% remote, but I visit the office here and there for a few days, and because it's 500km away, the company pays me a hotel room.
Life was suddenly so easy, so drama free... I actually just got up for work in the morning, got home, had the mental energy to do some sport and walk around a bit, prepare my food... And there was still a lot of time of the day left! I couldn't believe how easy life can be.
Second thing. I joined a World Of Warcraft Discord and got along with people. Like, REALLY got along. Only a few weeks after I had started the new job. Those people just talked to me! It felt friendly and natural, I got along with almost everybody, helped people, got help, and actually some of them became friends I think.
Now what bothers me... I told her about it because it's something positive and I wanted to share. She didn't like it I think. For a long time when she heard me typing, she'd ask "Who're you writing with!?", sounding irritated. Answering it's those Discord people made her shut down, not talk to me all day. I switched to just talking with them during the day.
Gaming evenings (a fixed day a week) with them suddenly had to stop, because especially on those days, she had something she needed my help with, something that needs to be done, so dinner will have to be late. By the time I'd be free, things were almost over.
Now I posted elsewhere about my general everyday treatment those last few years. She doesn't say "I love you", she doesn't look at me while talking, which is horrible because my hearing's bad, she interrupts me. I also feel like I can do nothing right, and when I make a mistake, she'll usually laugh at me, be angry, never just help or give me a second.
Now, having friends and some time to myself again already made me question things. I started thinking a lot, tried to do something for my mental health, mainly running around a lot outside. She noticed, tried to make me do sports along with her. This time I insisted I wanted to walk and run, which I like and she hates. She wanted me to go to the gym and go swimming with her. So suddenly I had an hour or so in the fresh air for myself. I think it did help me.
Then saturday a week ago, she did plan a hike she wanted to do with me... It turned out harder than she expected. I loved it! A good path through the forest, at least some of it, up and down, beautiful. She hated it. She told me to run ahead, in a friendly tone actually... So I did. Waited at a beautiful spot maybe 20 minutes later, and she was FURIOUS when she caught up with me. Yelled at me that she expected me to wait once it's no longer steep, or at a bench or whatever! Well I stayed with her the rest of the hike, but she stayed angry. She later told me she was angry because she can't move and she's fat and felt worthless... Obviously I was confused and comforted her. I actually felt sorry for her! But since then I felt treated so unfair, because that's something that keeps happening! She's upset, and I have to suffer for it. I distanced from her. Stopped initiating cuddling and kisses, which automatically means: No cuddling and kisses. I tried to offer her a bit of attention again a few days later, and I got SMOTHERED with attention, love, baby voice, that whole game for two days... It felt weird. I noticed that's something else that keeps happening... She's upset, she gets angery, I have to beg for any affection, and suddenly everything's fine again and I'm I get lotsa affection again... I started researching, and I started reaching out to old friends that I had hardly talked to in years. I started to dig in my memories, how I got so isolated, stopped doing things I love and seeing people I love, how she's now telling me all the time how horrible my mother and brother are, and how I feel I lost all confidence and trust in my own mind. On the other hand, I know those are tell-tale signs of gaslighting and narcissism, and I just don't know if I'm making them up, turning things in my own head until they fit that pattern!
I realised there's a chance I'm in an abusive relationship, that she may be a narcissist, that she may be gaslighting me. I made a plan to leave. Just leave, leave her a note, and try to move on, to get my brain into working condition again. But I grew distanced again. She kinda confronted me sunday night, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her she's gaslighting me or she's narcissistic, and that I plan to leave... I was afraid as hell what might happen, but I told her how much she hurt me, how unloved and unrespected I feel, by some of the things she does. She wanted to know if we had a future, I said I don't know. I should have ended it right there, run away.
We talked a lot, decided we'd both get therapy. Her assessment of the situation is that I have a depression, and of course she knows she has ADHD. I though ok, I can talk to a therapist and find out what the problem is, maybe get a professional to either confirm she's what I think she is, or maybe I'm just having a midlife crisis or whatever. It felt so crazy, that talk... I confessed I talked to old friends, mentioned only two of them (because those are male), and she was upset I'd talk about her with others, but not with her first. She got accusatory that I destroyed her safe space, that we had to work now to re-build her trust in me. I don't even know whether I want that...
Next day. She tells me it's good I'm getting therapy, but it's probably only me that changed, not her. I'm now trying to be as friendly and forthcoming and lovely with her as usual, but I'm also noting down things.
Part of me just want to run away as far as possible, but I honestly feel like I actually hurt her horribly, and need to fix this.
I'll have an appointment with my doctor today to find out what I need, what kind of therapy may help me.
Maybe some of you wonderful people had similar situations, and maybe you can help me find out whether she's manipulating me or I'm manipulating her without even knowing?
submitted by funbetweenthesheets to NarcissisticSpouses [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 11:11 ScaryLayer6914 Does anyone have a spare bed for someone to crash in Sunday night?

Hey there,
My group is coming on Thursday and is leaving Sunday night. But the ride I'll be getting comes on Thursday, but leaves Monday morning. So I was hoping that there would be someone that might have spare room for me to crash in.
My group will be bringing bedding and other supplies for me, so I won't really have supplies for myself to camp with.
Happy to share more information! Thank you!
submitted by ScaryLayer6914 to bonnaroo [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 10:59 AugustusGort Bloom Assault Missions - Initial Thoughts

Hi all,
Long-time lurker and totally loyal Grey Knight here (profile pic completely unrelated), played my first Bloom Assault mission this morning and thought I'd jot down some initial thoughts.
I'll preface this by saying I had blast with this mission type, really appreciated the defensive set-up and I like that you're fighting alongside little guardsmen.
It presents quite a challenge by encouraging you to split your strike team to deal with all the emerging threats, so mobility is key - naturally I had my teleport disabled by an unlucky warp surge for 5 turns!
I did however have a few minor critiques:
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the mission feels a tad unpolished - no intro panoramic of the battlefield or chatter between the main cast - you're just teleported in.
The guardsmen are a neat idea, although their models look a little rough around the edges of you zoom in too much - the faces have not been blessed with 2 thin coats! I found it odd that the deed for this mission was to protect the guardsmen, as canonically they would all be mind-wiped or liquidated after fighting alongside the Grey Knights, but that aside it is a worthy challenge - you'll learn to fear plague sprayers as they can do a lot of damage to the puny humies, and inflict plagued - and unlike your knights there is no way to heal or purify the guardsmen, so if they get hit by one that's normally 2-3 dead. This turns the deed into a timed mission - can you defeat the last few enemies before your mortal allies all succumb to disease!
Overall, a good solid addition, with a few rough edges to be sanded down.
submitted by AugustusGort to ChaosGateGame [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 10:36 LadyTeehee Supposedly having anxiety attack for 8 days now. (Health Anxiety, or is there something seriously wrong with me?)

Looking for reassurance/advice.
Hi all. I am new here, and I don't use reddit much, but I am using it as a last resort, and I'm really sorry for the long story, and appreciate any reassuring or helpful replies.
Up until last Sunday, 21st of May, everything was fine. I know I already have slight anxiety from previous things in life, for example not wanting to go out much, and being scared walking around in public. I used a vape for most of my day to day life have used one on and off for many years, but stopped cold turkey and IMMEDIATELY after having this "anxiety attack". I am an overweight individual, and have been for a long while, because of my mental health, so I have been recently worried about my physical health, whilst not doing anything about it, and being super lazy basically. I've been having the odd heart palpitation for years, and recently had noticed when laying down at my computer chair, my heart would flutter, this started happening a little bit before I started working out (because it was sort of a wake up call to me). I started working out for only 15-20 minutes a day, it's not much but it's something. I did indoors cycling. Until on 21st of May, Sunday, I was laying in my chair and I decided to call the non-emergency medical service (111 in the UK), for health advice to do with these heart palpitations, for more information and to put my mind at ease. What followed was horrific, I finished up on the phone and went to lay down to see if I would feel better, because the palpitations then continued after the phone call. (I think at this point I had already started panicking.) After laying down for no longer than 30 seconds, a pulse went through my body, almost like the strongest heart beat I've ever felt, and I felt lightheaded almost immediately. I shot up, and vocally said "Woah", at that point I rushed for my phone, and called emergency services, because I thought I was having a heart attack, I remember my heart pounding out of my chest, and feeling light headed - My heart was beating... fast but not abnormally fast. I had asked for an ambulance, and in the mean time, somebody called me from a nursing team, and they started feeding me the idea that I was having an anxiety attack. I spoke to him until I calmed down enough, I eventually ended up falling asleep sitting up in my computer chair, 1 hour~ later, the paramedic arrived. They checked my heart with an ECG machine, and checked my bloody pressure - Both were apparently perfectly okay, according to the paramedic, but she advised that I go to hospital since I'd been having the heart thump for over an hour.
I arrive at the hospital, and I feel the same symptoms start up once again, but this time I tried to breathe through it, and it wasn't nearly as bad, but still scary. I was in hospital and I was having problems with my heart, it was very stressful. In the hospital, I had another ECG check, my blood pressure and I had blood tests taken as well. After 4-5 hours of anxious waiting for results, apparently my blood tests were also completely perfect and clear. They said it was most likely anxiety.
As somebody who's been overweight their entire life, this was a huge shock to me, and I really am grateful for it. But part of me is doubting that there IS something wrong with me now, because today, 8 days later, I am experiencing most likely worse symptoms than I was before.
My symptoms in order from when they happened (Sunday 21st May):
on the Monday - My heart continued to pound, non stop for days, and still is to this day. I started worrying that I was still dying and the doctors didn't check me properly. I didn't eat much, and I definitely had trouble sleeping. I started non-stop checking my heart rate and then got extremely anxious because it was hovering around 50-65 BPM. I kept checking my pulse to make sure I was still alive and my heart wasn't going 100 miles per hour, but I would only do that when I stop feeling my heart beat, which I assume is what it's normally meant to feel like, but because I'm so anxious about things, if I don't feel my heart beat I start to panic.
Tuesday-Friday - I had this weird pressure build up in my chest, that seems to spread from the top of my stomach all the way over to underneath both of my armpits and it feels like it's above my heart, not my heart itself, though I have felt slight pressure in my heart too. The feeling is almost cold like under my skin - I mostly only get this feeling laying down but I still have it very slightly sitting up; I found a very temporary fix for that, is to lay on my side, and not my back, though that makes my heart feel like it's beating harder. In the same category as this, if I do lay on my side, I can feel that part of my chest vibrating in a way, like it's a muscle spasm. If I do lay on my back, and move slightly to the left or right it alleviates some of the pressure for a short time as well. I started having some chest pains, and arm pains. The chest pains felt like stitches, and they were very sharp, neither lasted for longer than maybe 15-30 minutes at a time. I have had sharp pains in my arms too, but those are very quick sharp pains that don't seem to repeat themselves. I started taking an over the counter medication here called "Kalms" anxiety , I believe it's a Valerian root extract or something like that I'm not even sure that it's working, I think I'm too anxious to let it work. I also started having bad bowel movements (almost complete liquid) and nausea, which apparently is a possible side effect of the Kalms medication.
Friday-Monday (29th/30th May Current time is midnight.) - Throughout the week I've been trying to take the advice of many of my family members, it's just anxiety. I'm trying to tell myself that on repeat, over and over again, but I cannot stop worrying at all. I went to go and stay else where for a night, hoping that exposure to an anxiety inducing situation would help me, but I ended up not being able to sleep, and only sleeping throughout the day. I started having unstable bowel movements,
As of right now, I'm having tightness in my jaw (Like tenseness), tightness in my upper stomach almost like I've been tensing my stomach muscles or worked them out and now it feels weird to push my stomach out, not sure if it's relief or not to relax those muscles, but if you've held in your stomach for a while and then let it bloat back out, that's the feeling I get, still having the tightness in my chest, thumping heart beat still (and has been thumping since last week), I have lost my appetite completely and I am not eating nearly enough, I'm trying to eat super healthy (For example today I had half an apple for breakfast and then a small amount of tuna, broccoli and cauliflower, and rice, of course, I'm worried about that. I'm having extreme troubles getting to sleep because I cannot get my mind away from all of this. Throughout the week I have had random outbursts of literally weeping and crying. I am experiencing feelings of weakness in my likes, they feel like jelly when I stand up. Still experiencing lightheadedness, for example I went to visit my dad to again try and put myself into an anxiety inducing situation to "combat" it, I guess, I hadn't had much sleep at all, but for most of the time I was there I was slightly light headed, and just wanted to sleep the entire time I was there - he gave me food, and I ate it all as to not be rude. I felt nauseous after, but didn't puke, but immediately after eating I had diarrhoea. I don't think it was the food, and I'm chalking that down to the Valarian Root Extract meds I've been taking, but that made me anxious for sure. I only have small bursts of diarrhoea, for like 1-2 hours, then I just don't go to the bathroom. I tried listening to a 40 minute guided meditation for sleep on YouTube this morning, and after replaying it 3 times, I managed to get to sleep, only to be suddenly woken from a nightmare, wasn't able to sleep after that until later in the day.
The pressure is really getting to me now, I'm scared my life won't ever go back to normal and I'm certainly feeling extremely pessimistic about things, and thinking bad things. For the record I have been offered anti-depressants a long long time ago, but chose to never take them because I was scared of the side effects... But now feeling all of this I want to take them more than ever (thoughts on this?).
I really hope somebody can calm me down, as I've tried to sleep already tonight (from 8-10pm, but had a nap from 2-4pm) and I'm exhausted.. Just want an unbroken sleep. I've been told from multiple people that it's just anxiety, but I just can't seem to believe them for longer than 5 minutes.
Sorry for the essay, but I thought I'd go into as much detail as possible. Thanks in advance.
submitted by LadyTeehee to Anxiety [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 10:36 7paperdragons it just hurts. on the edge again

a few days ago i caught my bf texting other women and begging his ex for pics. he always told me he hated her she's crazy and ugly and they never talked.. but they do all the time. (he used to buy them from her for $100 apparently)... he's never asked me for pictures before... ever.. "she's ugly" and he'd rather have pictures of her than me. i cant shake this feeling.
i didnt look through much so there might be a bunch i haven't seen yet. i confronted him immediately but it's been an awful couple days.
my self image has taken a massive hit and im struggling to catch my breath. it feels like drowning. i had already been in a relapse for a couple months but this has made things far worse, im still reeling from it tbh.
i don't know how to cope very well. im trying. waves of sorrow hit me at random and get worse at night. i cant sleep, its 4:30 in the morning and i feel so horrendously inadequate right now... i have never ever been insecure in my relationships until now- my last ex cheated and ghosted me and my heart is much more fragile now.
im afraid of how intense the thoughts have gotten since i found out. i love him. i cant stand this feeling. my body hurts and i am quite weak. im staring off the edge into the deep end. ivebstarted spending all my time in my room again, not taking care of myself like i was before..
lord, i wish this life was a dream i could wake up from.
im scared of what i will do to feel worthy again
submitted by 7paperdragons to AnorexiaNervosa [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 10:35 gonepop Lost my boy cat and watched him suffer to the very end. Vet was closed.

Lost my beautiful boy cat last Sunday night/Monday morning. The Sunday was one of the most horrible things I witnessed. The previous weekend I thought it was time. However, he picked up, started eating, talking, purring and thought he may have more time than I thought. Fast forward to last sunday. He looked okay in the morning but suddenly he crawled over to me and laid on my foot. I knew straight away he didn’t have much time left and vet was closed.
He started peeing and pooping everywhere, could hardly breathe and couldn’t hold his head up at all. When he tried to drink water his face would just fall in the water dish. He collapsed in the litter tray. He kept falling when trying to walk. He was crying in pain and I kept telling him he didn’t have to fight anymore, he has done what he needed to do as a cat and it was time to let go. He was fighting the whole time.
After hours of this I patted him softly under his chin. He suddenly had a moment of lucidity and head butted my hand, put his paw on top of my hand and lifted his head for 10 seconds and stared into my eyes. At that moment I know he was comforting me, telling me it was okay, and he was ready to let go now. It was a moment I’ll never forget.
He stopped fighting and crawled up and was slowly letting go. I napped on the couch next to him. There was a minor earthquake at 11:45pm which woke me from my doze and disturbed him and he moved into what was his final resting position. I patted him could feel his paws were freezing and knew it was going to be very soon. I remember deciding I needed some sleep - I was exhausted and slept on the couch next to him. Checked him before sleeping and he seemed to be breathing. I slept a bit, woke up and he was still in the exact same position and knew he was gone. I actually now think he was gone when I checked on him last but didn’t realise such was the state I was in. How could I not realise he had passed.
I never wanted to see him go through so much pain. I wish I took action earlier but he had picked up a bit. It all seemed to turn within an hour on Sunday. Just now feeling lost without him and wished he didn’t have to experience all of that.
Edit: edited some text for clarity.
submitted by gonepop to Petloss [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 10:34 Diligent_Win4061 Multiple UPT positives but beta hcg negative

My first post here so not sure where I should be posting this. Please redirect me to the right place if I've posted incorrectly. My LMP was 16th April. I have been testing positive on urine pregnancy tests since May 11. But my beta hcg came back negative last week on 19th May. Anybody here who could throw some light on this? The gynecologist has just asked me to wait another 15 days and has given no explanation on what could be going on. I am worried about potential health issues if this is not pregnancy. I am not on any medication or fertility treatments. Note: I take the tests early morning and read the results within 2 minutes. I've tried different brands and same results on all. Faint pink line similar to the one in the image
submitted by Diligent_Win4061 to u/Diligent_Win4061 [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 10:15 JoshAsdvgi The Creation

The Creation

The Creation
It was in the time when there were no people on the earth. For four days the first man lay coiled up in a pea pod.
On the fifth day he stretched out his feet and burst the pod, falling to the ground, where he stood up, a full-grown man.
He looked about him, and then moved his hands and arms, his neck and legs, and examined himself curiously.
After a while he had an unpleasant feeling in his stomach, and he stooped down to take some water into his mouth from a small pool.
The water ran down into his stomach and he felt better.
When he looked up again he saw approaching, with a waving motion, a dark object which came on until Just in front of him, when it stopped, and, standing on the ground, looked at him.
This was a raven, and, as soon as it stopped, it raised one of its wings, pushed up its beak, like a mask, to the top of its head, and stared at the man, and after it was raised he stared more than ever, moving about from side to side to obtain a better view.
At last he said: "What are you? From where did you come?
I have never seen anything like you."
Then Raven looked at Man, and was still more surprised to find this strange new being was so much like himself in shape.
Then Raven told Man to walk away a few steps, and in astonishment exclaimed again: "From where did you come?
I have never seen anything like you before."
To this Man replied: "I came from the peapod."
And he pointed to the plant from which he came.
"Ah!" exclaimed Raven, "I made that vine, but did not know that anything like you would ever come from it.
Now wait for me here."
Then he drew down the mask over his face, changing again into a bird, and flew far up into the sky where he disappeared.
Man waited where he had been left until the fourth day, when Raven returned, bringing four berries in his claws.
Pushing up his mask, Raven became man again and held out two salmonberries and two heathberries, saying, "Here is what I have made for you to eat.
I also wish them to be plentiful over the earth. Now eat them."
Man took the berries and placed them in his mouth one after the other and they satisfied his hunger, which had made him feel uncomfortable.
Raven then led Man to a small creek nearby and left him while he went to the water's edge and molded a couple of pieces of clay into the form of a pair of mountain sheep, which he held in his hand, and when they became dry he called Man to show him what he had done. Man thought they were very pretty, and Raven told him to close his eyes.
As soon as Man's eyes were closed Raven drew down his mask and waved his wings four times over the images, when they became endowed with life and bounded away as full-grown mountain sheep.
Then Raven made two animals of clay which he endowed with life as before, but as they were dry only in spots when they were given life, they remained brown and white, and so originated the tame reindeer with mottled coat.
In the same way a pair of caribou were made and permitted to get dry and white only on their bellies, then they were given life; in consequence, to this day the belly of the caribou is the only white part about it.
Raven told Man that these animals would be very common, and people would kill many of them.
"You will be very lonely by yourself," said Raven.
"I will make you a companion."
He then went to a spot some distance from where he had made the animals, and looking now and then at Man, made an image very much like him.
Then he fastened a lot of fine water grass on the back of the head for hair, and after the image had dried in his hands, he waved his wings over it as before and a beautiful young woman arose and stood beside Man.
"There," cried Raven, "is a companion for you." and he led them back to a small hill nearby.
In those days there were no mountains far or near, and the sun never ceased shining brightly; no rain ever fell and no winds blew.
When they came to the hill Raven showed the pair how to make a bed in the dry moss, and they slept there very warmly; Raven drew down his mask and slept nearby in the form of a bird. Waking before the others, Raven went back to the creek and made a pair each of stickle-backs, graylings, and blackfish.
When these were swimming about in the water, he called Man to see them.
When the latter looked at them and saw the sticklebacks swim up the stream with a wriggling motion he was so surprised that he raised his hand suddenly and the fish darted away.
Raven then showed him the graylings and told him that they would be found in clear mountain streams, while the sticklebacks would live along the seacoast and that both would be good for food.
In this way Raven continued for several days making birds, fishes, and animals, showing them to Man, and explaining their uses.
After this he flew away to the sky and was gone four days, after which he returned, bringing back a salmon for the use of Man.
Looking about Raven saw that the ponds and lakes were silent and lonely, so he created many water insects upon their surfaces, and from the same clay he made the beavers and the muskrats to frequent their borders.
Man was shown the muskrat and told to take its skin for clothing.
He was also told that the beavers would live along the streams and build houses and that he must follow their example, and likewise that the beavers would be very cunning and only good hunters would be able to take them.
At this time the woman gave birth to a child, and Raven directed Man how to feed and care for it, telling him that it would grow into a man like himself.
As soon as the child was born, Raven and Man took it to a creek, rubbed it over with clay, and then returned with it to his stopping place on the small hill.
The next morning the child was running about pulling up grass and other plants which Raven had caused to grow nearby; on the third day the child became a full-grown man.
After this Raven thought that if he did not create something to make men afraid they would destroy everything he had made to inhabit the earth.
Then he went to a creek nearby, where he formed a bear and gave it life, jumping to one side quickly as the bear stood up and looked fiercely about.
Man was then called and told that the bear would be very fierce and would tear him to pieces if he disturbed it.
Then he made different kinds of seals, and their names and habits were explained to Man. Raven also taught Man to make rawhide lines from sealskin, and snares for deer, but cautioned him to wait until the deer were abundant before he snared any of them.
Then Raven found that three other men had fallen from the peapod that gave the first one. These men, like the first, were looking about them in wonder, and Raven led them away in an opposite direction from that in which he had taken the first man, afterward bringing them to firm land close to the sea.
Here they stopped, and Raven remained with them a long time, teaching them how to live. He taught them how to make a fire-making device (a bow drill) from a piece of dry wood and a cord, taking the wood from the bushes and small trees he had caused to grow in hollows and sheltered places on the hillside.
He made for each of the men a wife, and also made many plants and birds such as frequent the seacoast, but fewer kinds than he had made in the land where the first man lived.
He taught the men to make bows and arrows, spears, nets, and all the implements of the chase and how to use them; also how to capture the seals which had now become plentiful in the sea.
After Raven had taught the men how to make kayaks, he showed them how to build houses of drift logs and bushes covered with earth.
Looking about Raven thought the earth seemed bare; so, while the others slept, he caused birch, spruce, and cottonwood trees to spring up in low places, and then awoke the people, who were much pleased at seeing the trees.
After this they were taught how to make fire with the bow drill and to place the spark of tinder in a bunch of dry grass and wave it about until it blazed, then to place dry wood upon it.
They were shown how to roast fish on a stick, to make fish traps of splints and willow bark, to dry salmon for winter use, and to make houses.
One day Man went out seal hunting along the seashore.
He saw many seals, but in each case after he had crept carefully up they would tumble into the water before he could get to them, until only one was left on the rocks; Man crept up to it more carefully than before, but it also escaped.
Then he stood up and he seemed full of strange feeling, and the water began to run in drops from his eyes and down his face.
He put up his hand and caught some of the drops to look at them and found that they were really water; then, without any wish on his part, loud cries began to break from him and the tears ran down his face as he went home.
When his son saw him coming, he called to his wife and mother to see Man coming along making such a strange noise; when he reached them they were still more surprised to see water running down his face.
After he told them the story of his disappointment they were all stricken with the same strange ailment and began to wail with him, and in this way people first learned how to cry.
Where the first man lived there had now grown a large village for the people did everything as Raven directed them.
submitted by JoshAsdvgi to Native_Stories [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 10:14 transcribersofreddit CasualUK Image "My wife saw these newborn Cygnets on her morning walk. They must have hatched over the weekend as we saw the mother swan nesting earlier last Friday."

CasualUK Image submitted by transcribersofreddit to TranscribersOfReddit [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 10:01 AutoModerator [Roll Thread] It's the Bi-Weekly Gacha Pulls and Salt Megathread! May 30, 2023

Share how blessed or not you are by Lord Smiley Face! Lomen! This is the place where you can express how lucky you got with your rolls or how much our Lord Smiley Face frowned upon you. You did donate gold and eat your bell peppers... right???
Remember, you can post screenshots (only 1 per; reply to your comment to add more) directly into the comments by tapping the image icon.
submitted by AutoModerator to GuardianTales [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 10:00 AutoModerator Album Share Tuesday: May 30, 2023

Let’s see your work! Use this thread to share an album, get feedback from, and give feedback to your peers.
Before posting, be sure to give feedback on other people’s albums. Feedback can be as little as “I like this photo best!”
If you are more confident in your critiquing abilities, give reasons why x photo was good, and/or what can be done to improve y photo.
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Do not post your entire Flickinstagram feeds or website, nor albums of hundreds of photos. You will get more meaningful feedback on albums of fewer images.
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submitted by AutoModerator to photography [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 09:37 cleionaaa I think molly just kickstarted an amazing relationship..

So… this is a long but interesting story. I (23F) met a guy(19M) online on discord (lol) and he seemed like a nice guy. He was funny and we clicked from the get go, and even better: he only lived 3 hours from me!! So after 2 weeks of nonstop talking and flirting, and me telling him I have a small crush on him, I take a train to meet with him for the weekend. We go to a party the night I arrive and we each take a low-medium dose of molly. I didn’t feel much until i redosed , but when I did… oh my god. He definitely had rolled more than me, I was kind of just chilling. But he was so into me at that moment. He spent the whole party by my side, and once it started to kick in for me, the way he was looking at me, how close he got to my face, and how good it felt to hold his jacket and pull him in, just overcame me. I wanted to kiss him. So badly, I had crazy butterflies. We ended up going home and drinking a little after it wore off, and he was still being so sweet and nice and just… it seemed like he really liked me back. Next morning his mom makes us breakfast and we spend the whole day together, as he promised he’d take me on a date. The date was fun, nothing crazy, just spending quality time together. Going to the lake and talking, etc. That night we have sex for the first time and he really reassured my insecurities with that. Then Sunday, before I leave, I word vomit everything to him I’ve felt since I met him, and I tell him I’d really like to try to be with him. I want him to be my boyfriend. He thinks about it but that makes me anxious (I have anxiety lol) and then he tells me how he feels about me and tells me he’d like that too. So now we’re dating, still don’t know each other that well. He’s kind of the type of guy to pretend he doesn’t like you it seems, or maybe he just shows affection differently or needs more time to warm up. Or maybe doesn’t even feel how I feel, and my hearts gonna be broken. We took it 5 days ago now, I’m back home now (had the worst separation-induced comedown) and I still can’t stop thinking about how molly made me fall in love with this man. I already really liked him and I feel like it just solidified it… does this happen or am I just confused by the effects even now? Are his feelings valid or is he just confused too? He’s really been hyping me up to improve the things I’m struggling with right now, being a huge supporter. Helping me move out of a shitty situation, even offering to be roommates. It would really benefit my life to move too. It just is moving so fast. I’m almost scared but I love it. I really really love it. It was life changing. Thoughts?
submitted by cleionaaa to Psychonaut [link] [comments]

2023.05.30 09:26 BryanKerr7 Edinburgh Marathon - first attempt at a marathon

Race Information


Goal Description Completed?
A Sub 3:10 Yes
B Sub 3 Yes


Kilometer Time
1 4:11
2 4:07
3 3:56
4 4:10
5 3:54
6 4:00
7 4:01
8 4:03
9 4:11
10 4:06
11 4:08
12 4:05
13 4:03
14 4:09
15 4:04
16 4:07
17 4:08
18 4:06
19 4:09
20 4:02
21 4:04
22 4:03
23 4:07
24 4:13
25 4:04
26 4:07
27 4:07
28 4:02
29 4:07
30 4:08
31 4:08
32 4:07
33 4:05
34 4:07
35 4:10
36 4:13
37 4:13
38 4:13
39 4:16
40 4:17
41 4:21
42 4:18
43 3.45


First marathon. Began running in lockdown, seen vast improvements in all my distances, managing to get 5k under 19 mins, 10k under 40 mins, and half marathon under 1:40. I joined a running club in Oct 2022 and seen further improvements in all distances, so I set myself a target of completing a half marathon in under 1:30 and a marathon in under 3.30.
My training consisted on speed work on a Monday (track) and Wednesday (usually in a park or quiet area with no traffic).These sessions are provided by the coaches at my running club. Outwith these sessions, I tried to do at least 40km over another 4 runs at an easy pace, keeping heart late below 150bpm. Total monthly kilometres always over 200km. Since the new year I have been trying to hit at least 60km per week.
I booked this marathon last summer and had no idea of a plan or targets. I completed a half marathon in 1.19.59 the end of April this year, and this gave me belief that I would be able to post a good time in this race. I would have been disappointed if I did not manage to complete it in 3.10.
The longest run I completed during my training was an easy run of 33km, about 4 weeks before the race. I was confident I would be able to finish but had no idea how my body would do after that distance at a quicker pace.


I done my last long run (~22km) exactly one week before the race. Easy 10km runs Monday & Tuesday, Wednesday I done 3 x 10km at target marathon pace (4.14/km) with 2 mins rest in between. Another easy run on Thursday and then complete rest Friday & Saturday. On the Wednesday I started upping my carb intake significantly, eating a lot more bread, rice, pancakes, crumpets, scones, tortilla wraps, potatoes and chips. I was feeling rather bloated for these few days so cut back a bit on the Saturday in order to be good for Sunday.
Race day: Got up at 5.30am - big bowl of porridge with a scoop of protein powder, 2 slice of toast & strong coffee. Had a cereal bar and a banana at 8am (2 hours before start). Sipped water through the morning - not too much as was wary of toilet breaks during the race.


Race began at 10am. When I signed up for the race I put in a target time of 3.45 - meaning I started in a pen with runners a lot slower than me. This was not ideal as it was very busy and I was stuck behind big groups of runners a lot for the first 20-30mins. I definitely could have went quicker at the beginning, maybe a blessing in disguise as I was still under target pace and perhaps allowed me to not come out the traps too quickly. I took 2 salt tablets every water station, which was every 30 mins or so. Took 1 gel at 10km, 20km then 32km. Fortunately was able to get through the whole race without stopping for the toilet. I was really comfortable up until the last 10km, I had never ran more than this so had no idea how my body would react. I had plenty of time in the bank so I dialled it back a bit to make sure I could finish without cramping or pulling a muscle.


I am going to take a few days off to let my body recover. I have a few 10k runs booked throughout the summer and hope to achieve some PBs. The time I posted should also qualify me for London next year.
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.
submitted by BryanKerr7 to AdvancedRunning [link] [comments]