First post in this community so bear with me as I recount the last 9 months of my marriage. This is more of a vent than anything else.
I originally moved out first of September 2022. Wife and I had a "come to Jesus" talk and I left that night, leaving her and my kid alone while I sorted out what was in my head and some hard realizations I had been feeling for many many years. It was not the best way to leave, but it was what I did. My actions rightfully scared her and my kiddo. After a few days my wife and I talked and we created some kind of "custody schedule" as I moved from Airbnb to airbnb for 2 months until I got an apartment in November.
We started couples therapy in mind-November and I immediately felt like what I was doing was a waste of time. I was half-assing it as I knew I really didn't want to save anything. I was just going through the motions. It was harder than expected because I knew in my heart what I wanted. We went back and forth for 3 months until I decided to move back into the family home at the end of February to really work on it.
We had a good week. Then, after I started listening to my body and my heart, I realized I didn't love my wife like I once did or how she needed. We tried a new therapist, a Gottman therapist this time. All the while I was committed to being my authentic self. This was hard as I never felt I was able to in my marriage and being my authentic self meant hurting my wife with my feelings and my actions and not apologizing for being me.
There was immediate clarity in my feelings/what I wanted. About 5 weeks after we started with the new therapist I told my wife I wanted a divorce. It was the most painful thing I had ever done as I could finally see the pain my wife was experiencing. Even in watching all that pain, I knew it was the right thing. It was a long night as I watched her cry on the floor as I smoked cigarettes (I have since quit) and drank outside.
I was expecting to move out the next day, but we decided to continue cohabitating for our kid. It was fine. We got into a groove that worked...sort of. During all of this I worked with my personal therapist to find clarity in what I wanted. There was a lot of push and pull as I wanted to do all I could not let my wife feel sadness. Unlearning that piece of codependency is hard. Unfortunately in that codependency, I fell back into making her not hurt. I recommitted to working on our marriage.
As we continued to work with our couples therapist things started to get heated. There were strong accusations on both sides, lots of hurt going on, and increased yelling. After an extremely hard couples session, I came home to my wife yelling at me. She was calling me names, telling me I'm crazy, and she told me to just get out. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I calmly said "okay". I packed a suitcase. She tried to tell me that she overreacted and didn't mean what she said. It was not the first time she told me to get out, so I really didn't believe her. I kissed our kid good night and left.
I spent then next few nights in an AirBnb until signing a lease on an apartment 5 days after I left. I moved the stuff from my previous apartment in and I haven't looked back. The apartment feels like home, oddly enough. It feels right to be here.
We've agreed to a custody schedule and I officially filed on Friday. I was feeling afraid when I originally moved out in September, but now I don't. I think that's the biggest piece of clarity I've received.
I am not afraid of what's to come. I'm excited for it. I know it will be hard, but it will be rewarding. I can see/feel my personal growth in these last few weeks and months. While I know there is a long hard road ahead before it's finalized, I can already see the light. It reaffirms that this was the right decision for me, and as odd as it might sound, for my wife too.

i made a few videos this month but youtube brought me no viewers even for the shorts, i think maybe because i deleted some videos before now algorithm shadowbanned me and im never gonna get any viewrs no matter how video i upload? should i just leave it alone or start a new channel with no history?

We started dating when I met him at 18. He helped me leave my abusive family and church and I was on my own but he took me under his wing. He was really amazing. His friends became my friends, he helped me find a job, he let me move in with him and his roommates. I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now if we never met. It feels like everything I have accomplished is because of him. I really love him and he’s a big part of my life.
After some time, he used to start petty arguments but it was just because he was insecure or needy. Whenever he was angry, it was always something deeper and usually something about him not feeling loved enough by me or not giving him enough attention. I did really love him so I would try to repair whatever issues we had and I still do. One time early on, he threatened to send nudes of me to my family because I talked to him rudely. We had a huge fight and I told him if he did that then I’d do something to him too. And he said that I couldn’t do anything but he could ruin my life by sending stuff to my family so they never talk to me again, getting me fired, kicking me out. He was right so I stopped. And in the beginning, he said he was always happy to help and he just genuinely cared. Obviously he helped me because we were together. Then he started to bring it up and said that he helped me a lot and I’d be nowhere without him and no one cares about me like him. It was exhausting.
A girl I used to know in high school reached out to me and wanted to catch up because she lives in my city and didn’t know anyone. I didn’t have many friends either, so I started seeing her and we got close. He had an issue with that and doesn’t like her because she said I could do better than him and I stupidly told him that, I tell him everything and I just thought it was something dumb and funny. Now he hates her. Every time I say I’m going to see her, he starts saying he doesn’t wanna be alone, he’s gonna miss me, and wants me to cancel. And when I come home, he gives me a huge attitude and asks if she told me to break up with him or if she encouraged me to flirt with men. And he told me that if I cheat on him, he’ll kill me.
He has an issue with sex now and says I seem like I’m not interested in him anymore. I swear I am and we have sex almost every day. He said I’m stressing him out mentally and I’m not doing anything different.
I told my friend everything and she told me he’s abusive. He tracks me which I don’t mind but I don’t like the petty arguments or reminding me of what he did for me. He started behaving a bit weirder since I made a friend and she thinks that he doesn’t want me to have friends. Maybe he just misses me when I’m not home? She said that fight when he told me he could ruin my life was him being abusive. I felt really weird about it but he said he’d never do that and he only said it out of anger. Afterwards, I was really emotional and made him delete all the nudes he had and we spent the night talking and clearing everything up and he promised he’d never do that to me. I was really relieved and felt great about us. The next day, he told me that he was thinking and wanted to break up because I take everything too seriously and I’m sensitive and a lot of drama and he doesn’t care about me anymore. He wanted me to leave and I felt very confused since we had a nice night. But he insisted that he wanted me gone and made me pack my things. I didn’t have anywhere to go and I didn’t have a car but he said he didn’t care so I was packing and he said that he felt unappreciated and that he puts me before himself. I told him that I always appreciate him but I want him to put himself first, not me, and to just tell me if I’m being inconsiderate or needy. Then after I finished packing my clothes he said he changed his mind and wanted me to stay.
He also doesn’t want me to have my own car, he said it’s a waste of money since we go everywhere together and I can borrow his car if I need to. She said that’s abusive because sometimes he says no if he doesn’t want me to go. He never put his hands on me but once when we were 19 and he was drunk, he pushed me because he burped in my face and I said ew. I also told her that we were planning the guest list for the wedding and he made a joke about me having barely anyone from my side, since I’m not in contact with my family. She said that is really sad and he shouldn’t mock me for it.
I don’t know if he’s abusive. I think he’s emotional. But we’ve been together for a long time and I love him. He taught me everything. I do not want to break up.

In high school my social anxiety had me terrified to shit in public bathrooms. It’s illogical and stupid but I’d be so anxious about walking out to someone knowing I just loudly dropped a log that I’d hold it in for the entire school day. I PROMISE you that squirming in your seat by the end of every school day trying desperately not to fart is way more noticeable than just using the bathroom stall for its intended purpose. Find your bathroom - one that’s kind of out of the way and people don’t use as much - and/or a time when people don’t use it as much and go shit to your heart’s content. You can wait for them to leave before you walk out to wash your hands if you’re weird about it like I was. It took me until college to get over this fear and I KNOW I sound like an absolute idiot but I also know I’m not alone in my poop anxiety. Please stop torturing yourself and just go shit already.

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It's been a while since I painted the walls of my bedroom gray. I bought a really cheap paint, which tends to leave marks, so I'm very careful not to put my dirty hands on the walls. I live alone and don't have many visitors, and the last visitor I had was when I bought my house and my mom came to see it.
There was one night when I was sleeping and I heard a voice calling me, not yelling, but whispering in my ear. I was half asleep and woke up startled. I couldn't sleep properly that night. I woke up early and went straight to have breakfast. I felt like someone was accompanying me, but not in a good way. It felt like a huge weight on my shoulders, and there were constant knocking sounds. In my kitchen, there's a huge glass window that leads directly to the garden. I saw a black figure, like a little girl, running past that window. I thought to myself, "This can't be a ghost. It only happens in horror movies. I'm a normal person, I watch anime and spend the day on the computer. Why would a ghost be interested in me?" I was scared but pretended not to care. The rest of the day went on like any other.
When I went to bed, I saw handprints on the wall of my room, child-sized handprints. They definitely weren't mine. Damn it! I called the police, but they didn't come. I got into my car and went to my mother's house. I arrived at her house at 2 a.m., and she made me some mate tea and put me to sleep. The next day, I returned to my house, and the light in my room was on. I never leave the lights on, especially not when I sleep. I didn't even think about going inside that house. As I was driving back, I saw two heads in the window. It was a woman and a child. Damn it, they can have my house. Since then, I have never set foot on that street again. I don't know what happened after, but my old neighbors know my mom, and they keep calling her, saying they hear a woman screaming coming from my house.

I identify as and enjoy straight sex my whole life though I’ve had a nagging feeling I am perceived as gay by others from early childhood. I’m masculine but high Eq and am more easily friends w women have rarely had good guy friends even as an adult (I’m 32). Raised by two parents no abuse that I’m aware of. Mom was more in control but dad was present too. When I was young when masterbating I was curious about my anus and would put objects pens etc inside as curiosity this didn’t last. When I was 12-13 a friend showed me how we jerks off and I was ashamed and pre pubescent, he was older. We jerk off just one time but made me uncomfortable and we didn’t remain friends. I became rebellious in hs and got expelled twice for attention seeking, threats and behaviors.
While home alone I masterbate constantly. One day my brother (younger of three) saw me and we did it mutually even touching each other and humping. Only happened twice. I’d cum in food items like PB and mayo and our family ate it (gross). Graduated and was arrested for drug and alcohol three times. Worked with a guy where I stayed over for early morning jobs, he asked us to watch porn together I knew he was watching me jerk. Stayed friends but didn’t do that again.
Around same time met a business mentor who did same watched porn talked about girls I was shy but he was helpful in career so I remained friends tho stopped jerking together after a few times. Got cheap rent from another gay guy for a short time but nothing happened.
Have played hockey and notice myself wondering about guys dicks or my eyes looking at their crotch it’s like I’m curious but the idea of interacting with turns me off. Dated a great girl good sex to start but turned lackluster and I cheated for years before leaving. Have healthy dating life now with great sex.
Have done psychedelics and they often show me gay imagery or scenarios which are repulsive, but I try and allow it to show me insights. I feel it’s from the past intrusive things that I was exposed to but maybe it’s more.
I dont judge homosexuality but also doesn’t appeal to me, I just have this baggage that fucks with my self image. Curious if others relate and maybe the numerous gay incidents mean I am gay and my psyche won’t allow it and I need to embrace it. I’m not attracted to men but dicks are impressive 🤷‍♂️ how do I shake this?

Long story short. We are downsizing our home since the kids are grown and on their own. We found a Wii with, bunch of games, music set for it (drums, microphone, pair of guitars, a bunch of wires attached to boxes labeled “rock band”) 15+ games, and other stuff I’m note sure what it is. All was found in a several totes in our attic.
None of our kids wanted it so I tried to hook it up. It powered on, took a disk and ejected a disk no problem. The issue is that the system uses rca cables and non of our tvs takes rca. I decided to post it on Facebook as is and stated that I could not test it.
In the one day it was listed I got 3 people calling me a liar and that the system was broken (I tested it as far as I had equipment to test it), 1 death threat after telling one of the people to leave me alone (forwarded to the sheriff), and a never ending stream of offers of $5 to $20 and I have to pay to ship it (I imagine shipping will cost more than they are offering.). Needless to say I took down the ad and tomorrow it goes to the dump. It’s not worth the hassle dealing with it.
Sorry for venting, but is this how gamers are?

My mom is widowed and my dad passed 4 years ago. My mom said it is making her depressed thinking about me leaving.
I only live one state over. It’s my first time ever living away from family or moving out at all. I wanted to work at a ski resort for a season, but as it’s come to an end, I’ve decided I want to do it for one more season and move back to my home state in April of next year. My job there makes me decent money so I also wanted to use the time to pay off the rest of my credit card.
I feel bad because I think about it and I’m like “wow I’ve only seen them for 2 weeks this whole time”, and then I’m going to be gone for almost another year. I feel bad thinking about our family dog being alone when my mom is at work. I feel bad for my mom thinking that she’s just alone at the house. She sees/babysits the nieces twice a week, but besides that, I know she’s very lonely.
Any advice? I know my mom would probably feel bad/guilty if I decided to come back sooner, but I feel like I’d regret it if I just came back in august instead of staying a bit longer.

I just realized my FA not only manifests on my relationship but it shapes my overall personality and how I am in my daily life. Is this possible? I have suspicion over smallest things. At work I am distrustful of my coworkers. I struggle with setting boundaries. Like when they plan something that i don't want to be involved in, I cant reject them right away, i need ample amount of time to process how to decline it. But if I'm pressured enough I say Yes and resent about it later. Then I feel I am being used and taken advantage of.
Even a street vendor is lying to me about prices of items they're selling according to me. If someone mentions about an event, I feel like they're making it up. Even though occurrence or non occurrence of that event wouldn't affect me. If a friend invites me somewhere when it is supposed to be my free time, I make fake excuses so not to be present..but this happens every single time. It is not that I always want to be isolated. I can socialize to the extend of what I am supposed to. As soon as I reach my safe place ie home, or say weekend it's like leave me alone i dont want and dont need to socialize. I already had to do it entire week. My friends often complain that I dont spend time with them. And what I absolutely hate the most is when friends ask if they can spend time at my place or work on our project at my place. I dont deny as i dont want to be rude. But I instantly feel sour throughout my body. It's a weird feeling and i dont know how to describe it. I just spend rest of my days hoping they won't appear somehow on that planned date. Is this me being avoidant or is there something else wrong with me?

I wanted to return to writing. I really did. But something always stopped me from doing that. Partying with my brothers and other stalkers, hunting dangerous mutants, trading with trustworthy and shady merchants, doing strange missions or just my own laziness. Not anymore.
Yep, it’s still Plagued who’s writing this miserable thing. Okay, I go hard on myself, because… I have hard time thinking about this, let alone writing about it. Several things changed – some for the better, but some for the worse. One thing at the time.
I remember a mention of a large party that we’d organize in the factory in Agroprom, after dealing with Interception. And we did – the biggest party the Zone ever witnessed. I’m completely certain that at least one hundred stalkers from various factions came to our place. Surprisingly, there weren’t any problems with our guests coming from different groups. I should write about it someday, because few things were out of this world, even by the Zone’s standards. But we gained more fame and respect as Riders.
Yes, Riders… As the name suggests, we should be riding something. We had a car with a horse drawn on it (from this, comes our other name – Horsemen), but we had to sacrifice it, so we could enter the main base of Interception.
From that point, we haven’t had any new vehicle. Quarrel, of course, wanted to have something new, but Craver tricked him and said he became a pussy, if he really needs a car here. Our exo guy, prideful as always, grabbed the bait and he didn’t mention it since then. But I could still see he’d really get one.
Okay… but what we were doing after destroying Interception, aside from parties? I’ll mention more interesting things. One was returning to the Observatory. It shouldn’t be named like that anymore since the main building was in thousands of pieces.
Main objective was to admire the destruction we did, but in peace. However, we’ve found a stalker there. It was the one we knew. We asked him what he was doing here and he said that he has things from the armory of collapsed building (basement was intact).
We told him the story about what he did (emptying two vodka bottles while we were doing it) and said that we could split the share. We agreed – getting out and selling things left in Interception’s armory made us a small fortune. By the Zone’s standards, we were living like the elite.
Another fun entry: we met with Overseer’s group. Well, he is not Overseer anymore, but Razhan. Since we killed their former masters, they could operate in peace. They decided that their experience would be most helpful with hunting mutants. Efficient guys – that’s the least I can say.
And other thing: many stalkers think that mutants are only representants of fauna here. That’s not true. We’ve found legendary fox, named Semyon. Cool little fellow, which Quarrel want to take it for himself. Even if he was treating it with respect, the animal eventually escaped. But exo guy wasn’t that sad and we compensated it with another drinking.
But they are also other animals here – Codex confirmed it. Yes, he got to our party. Dude emptied 0,7l vodka bottle in one attempt, as it was a juice. But then he said that he won’t repeat it again. He’s strong-headed too. I even asked about more info about his faction and provided me just that, but I can’t share it with you. Things like a photo of their best huntress, which looked stunning, but I’m out of her league, considering my ugly as fuck face.
Back to the topic… we saw moving groups of various animals which showed no or little signs of mutations. However, most majestic ones would be groups of mutated horses, called tarks, as well as non-mutated ones – Przewalski’s horses. Craver mentioned that it’d be cool, if we could get them as mounts. One can dream…
They were also dozens of things we did, like winning Arena’s biggest tournament (we opted for team part of it), exploring depths of Rostok, even exploring rarely visited part of the whole complex. But – like I said earlier – some bad things happen too. I’ll mention the worst.
No, it doesn’t mean that any of my brothers died. Hell, even Zrak is in one piece, but Sorrow has a long way to teach it how to talk, because we’ve found out it’s possible (good that we have internet access). It’s worse. We’re getting further apart with each other.
I’ll start with Quarrel – he didn’t want to abandon Irina, like his previous girl, so they started to meet more often. And this I can understand, but for some reason, he started to be more aggressive. We tried to talk to him about this, but because of his attitude, we couldn’t find the source of this problem. He almost even killed Sorrow, but machete swinged a little too high to do anything. So he started seeing her more often, even for days. He looked calm, but we knew that many things could trigger him. On the one hand, it’s sad that he was abandoning us more often, but on the other hand, I was glad when he wasn’t around, because with him, atmosphere became more tense.
Next – Craver. Remember that I mentioned his insatiable appetite? Yes, it got worse. He eats as often as he smokes. Which reminds me… wait a moment, I’ll get my own… much better. Anyway, even if he doesn’t got wider, our funds go down faster because of it, but he doesn’t care and explaining that to him didn’t work, even by force. And he also met his new girl (she’s called Katya Malva, if I remember correctly) on our party, which helped him with returning to mercenaries, specifically to her group led by a guy named Faun, supposedly from Chechnya. People think that there’s only one merc ”faction”, which isn’t entirely true. They work together, but they don’t have one leader. There’s Dushman, but he only leads the biggest one, not all of them.
I already mentioned Sorrow. Did he got better? Nope. I think that because of recent events, he started to feel worse. I figured out that he was envious because of the relationships the other two had (which he confirmed to me, when he was drunk). He also started to drink more. Way more. On top of that, he started to leaving on his own. He was the one who still wanted to talk to me and said that he wants to think about various things, mostly his reason to exist. Sorrow still wants to teach his bird how to talk, but he also knows that Zrak won’t replace us completely, which he said that he wants and doesn’t want to happen at the same time. I can understand him, at least partially.
And what about me? I’m sick. Sick of this shit happening and having no ways to solve it. This has to be one of the worst feelings man can experience. I was re-reading my entries, reminding myself of events we lived through together… I almost lost myself to this dream world, which was more appealing to me than the real world. So I thought to myself that if I can’t work on improving others, I should start improving myself. How to shoot better, how to be faster, stronger, have more endurance… This won’t help with my appearance much, since I didn’t find artifact to make me not ugly, but I feel better physically. Mentally… I’m more of a mess now than I was in Big Land.
We were sitting in big room of Agroprom’s northern factory, where we had all of our stuff and our sleeping bags with bedrolls, all of us doing own things. Shit, I almost forgot. We don’t have Yan with us anymore. What happened? Snout became his good friend and they started going on adventures together. Eventually, they parted ways to do their own things, but I have still contact with him. He says that he’s doing alright. I should find him some day…
Quarrel stood up from the floor and started going in circles, visibly tense. I wanted to ask him about it, but I had to be careful to not make him even more angry. However, our tough guy himself said what was his problem.
”I can’t take this anymore!” – he screamed.
”Woah, Quarrel… what’s the problem?” – Craver asked, eating another chocolate bar.
”I just need having an access to a car. I miss it so much…”
”So you’re a pussy?” – our medic smiled.
”No… or maybe… you can call me however you want, but I’d really kill for having some four wheels.”
”You know… even if it isn’t the safest way to travel, I kind miss it too. We had good memories with our Stallion…”
”Yeah… why did we had to destroy it?”
”Because we had to eliminate Interception.” – I responded.
”We should find another way.”
”Too late for that. And got used to walking everywhere.”
”But you could help us with getting cars, so...”
”So you could abandon us completely?”
”Man, what’s wrong with you?”
”What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” – I asked, angry. - ”You vanish for days, going to Flora or doing something else, but when you return here, you’re just pissed off, treating us like we’re worse than you. Similar to Craver, who seems to enjoy the company of mercs than ours. Because of that, our crew falls apart. Sorrow feels worse and so do I. So I should be asking what happened.”
This was the lighter variant of our more frequent arguments. I was wondering how could this happened so quickly. It’s near the end of May, so little more than two months, since we’ve destroyed Interception. And yet, it feels like way more time has passed since then.
I knew Quarrel was pissed, but I didn’t care at that time. Earlier, he’d back off, if I said the truth. Not anymore. But he didn’t do anything – he didn’t attack me and he didn’t respond to me. Craver looked like he didn’t care and started eating can of beans. Sorrow was turned away from us, looking from the window. Soon, there will be night, so I didn’t understand at first why he was doing that. But he explained himself.
”Guys?”
”What is it, brother?” – I asked with calm.
”We have company.”
All of us came to the window. My brother passed me binoculars. He was right – I saw several dozens of soldiers, which most likely came from the southern base. Not only that, but they had four helicopters accompanying them. Things looked bad, but I wanted others to see that as well.
”Huh… more like platoon to me rather than company.” – Quarrel commented. - ”But still… we should have any problems with… Hey! Where are you going?”
We were smarter than our brother. Maybe – I really mean ”maybe” – we could kill the offensive, if it was alone, but it had choppers and we aren’t rich in anti-air defense. So we decided to pack up and escape when we had a chance.
”Too many of them at once.” – I replied. - ”We should find other hideout.”
”Guys, you seriously want to go without a fight?”
I placed items on the floor. Then, I grabbed RPG standing in the corner (it was the one we took from Interception’s armory) and got to the window. I quickly aimed and fired at one of military helicopters. Soon after, it crashed on the nearby tree, but didn’t do any damage to infantry.
”There. We are going with enemy casualties.” – I stated. – ”You go with us or continue to be a moron?”
”Huh…” – Quarrel chuckled. - ”Okay, I’ll grab the crates. No need to get you more tired.”
”But where should we go?” – Craver asked, while he was collecting items.
”I suggest going to Irina. There’s enough place for all of us and I’ll have her and you close together.”
”Hmm… and it’s closer to abandoned cities – Dead City and Limansk.”
”Yep. And what about you, brothers?”
”Okay.” – me and Sorrow replied.
So we quickly grabbed almost all of our items, not including trash and escaped the factory before soldiers could do anything to us. Upside to this was easier access to weed, which Craver also likes. But how will life there look like? That remained to be seen.

Hello fellow Vancouverites,
This topic has little to do with Vancouver but much to do with those who live in it and many of those who participate on this subreddit. For those unaware, Reddit has recently announced some significant changes to its API policy. You can read more about it here. To summarize:

• Reddit has completely priced out third-party apps by increasing costs and banning ad-supported tiers outright. Using Apollo as a payment example, it would cost nearly USD $2 million per month) to run. If you currently access Reddit through a third-party app, it is very likely that you will no longer be able to do so after July 1st.
  
• The NSFW API is getting shut down. Soon, the only way to access NSFW content will be through the official App. Even if third-party apps survive the higher costs, they will have significantly cut down access (up to 40% less). This also means that some bots, which rely on cross-subreddit API communication to prevent things like teenagers sharing images on NSFW subreddits, will break entirely.
  

How it impacts you, and why you should care

Well, the biggest thing is obvious. If you’re currently reading this on a third-party app like RIF, Apollo, or BaconReader, you probably won’t be able to anymore come July 1st. You might have seen popups on the apps themselves alerting you to this. Third-party app creators have all come out to say that the pricing is going to kill their apps - not because they’re against paying but because the pricing is outrageously excessive.
For another reason, official tools for mobile moderation work half-heartedly at best. Many mods on this and other subreddits moderate from mobile, and most often use third-party apps to do their volunteer work. We do this because we often mod from everywhere - on lunch breaks, while on the Skytrain, or even while waiting in line at Rogers Arena. By forcing mods to use the ineffective official apps, posts and comments may stay unreviewed for longer, and modmail may go answered as we wait for someone to be on a desktop. Harmful content may stay up longer - or we may be forced to increase our automod filters more extravagantly in order to reduce potential problems proactively. No one likes getting caught in an automod filter, and adding more can take months to hit the right balance.
The effects on NSFW content are also considerable. Many mods working in these communities are seriously concerned that this will hamper their ability to keep Child Sexual Abuse Content and Non-Consensual Intimate Media off their subreddits. Some mods have spent years building and refining bots that will now break and open communities to harm.

An Open Letter and Potential Blackout

The moderator community has been discussing this and has released an open letter here.
Part of the open letter involves a potential subreddit blackout on June 12th in protest.
The mod team has discussed this a lot over the past few days, and now we want to ask our community. How do you feel about this? Will your browsing habits be affected come July 1st? Are you in support of the blackout? Or do you just want us to go back to traffic-calming memes and yelling at clouds about tipping?
This should also be considered a PSA. Over 500 communities have signed up for this and support is still growing as subreddits begin stickying the open letter and raising attention to this issue. If you log on June 12th to browse, you may find some of your favourite subs private in protest.
While we’re unsure at this time if we want to participate in the blackout, we do feel strongly that Reddit’s actions here have been disingenuous. We intend to leave this pinned until there is a clear path forward for third-party apps to access the API at reasonable prices. However, we also want to take this opportunity to get the temperature of the community and see how you feel about and will be impacted by these changes. In the end, the mod team is here to support everyone reading this and you’re our first priority - even if it means we can’t moderate as effectively while we’re out touching grass.
Signed, /vancouver mod team

Need some advice and words of encouragement.
My 7 month old was dropped on his head while in his fathers care. I know things happen but please tell me if I’m wrong for being upset at how the situation was handled:
I was not called when it happened. They told me an hour later when they dropped him off. They gave me 3 different versions of what happened. His Dad had his Mom meet him at my apartment to tell me for him what happened cause he was afraid to tell me himself. (Her and I do not speak at all, and I’ve told her time and time again to respect my boundaries as my sons Mother).
I asked them both to leave so I can take our son to the children’s hospital (he had a huge lump on his head). They refused to leave and told me “We knew you’d behave like this.” His Dad ended up screaming in my face (while I was a holding my son) to “go fck yourself” “eat a dick” while his Mom is telling me to calm down as I’m frantically trying to load my son in my car.
They only left because I threatened to call the police (after I locked us in my car).
I’ve cried so many times this weekend. I don’t even know what to do. We don’t have a custody order in place because I’ve always been afraid they’d give him more time than he chooses to utilize right now.
I’m constantly telling him how to properly take care of my son cause I’ve seen things he does that make me so nervous. (I’m constantly having to remind him to lock his stroller, to buckle him correctly, to not let him sleep on the bed especially alone cause he rolls a lot). I even sent him the viral video of the stroller almost rolling into traffic and he’s still irresponsible with the breaks.
I’m at my wits end. I just want my baby to be safe and well cared for. 😔
Oh and the icing on the cake: My sons great grandma who was “watching” him when it happened left me a voicemail saying she wasn’t even going to tell me what happened because he was “fine” and didn’t cry that much and it happens to all babies.

Got a new supervisor this week who has 0 supervisor experience and I was basically thrown into a room alone with her, basically training her. We’re allowed to eat throughout the day and I usually bring a lunch box full of sandwiches/ croissants with cheese or ham etc. maybe 4 of either (and I work 10 hour days). This new supervisor saw this and said “do you pack lunch for the entire week?? You’re so weird for that” when it was just my lunch for that day/ maybe tomorrow as well. I didn’t really care about that it was what then happened the rest of the day. I ate one and she watched me eat it VERY closely. I then picked up another and she said “oh you eat like MULTIPLE of those at once?? That is so strange” and laughed at me. She’s still watching me eat instead of working so I told her “oh we’re allowed to eat throughout the day if you have food you can go grab it” for her to then say “oh my god no I could never do that I’m on this new diet” and laughing at me etc. she done this all day. How much I was eating was a topic every time she saw my lunch. I told my manager and she apologised but said she would just support the supervisor get used to her new role. I find this equally disturbing as these conversations took place in front of young kids who were also eating croissants and could hear her talk to me and laugh at my food/ the quantity of it. Calling me weird or strange multiple times. I’ve had eating problems before so this really troubled me. What can I do if my manager does nothing? Is this a true issue or am I sensitive? There were other issues throughout the whole day as well. Such as her breaking code or leaving large messes etc. I felt like she wasn’t helping me at all and instead just watching me/ shaming me.

One Piece Kai
Two Piece: Legends of Buffy (Or other continuation)
Or leave the IP alone

Dear Reader,
I hope this letter finds you well. I wanted to take a moment to express my feelings and thoughts about my current relationship, and how it has impacted my perspective on love and happiness.
I am incredibly fortunate to be in a committed relationship with a remarkable man who brings so much joy into my life. His kindness and the way he treats me are beyond words. We share numerous interests and have developed a level of comfort and connection that I have never experienced before.
Reflecting on my past, I recently discovered that my previous relationship was tainted by the actions of some friends of my ex-partner. It saddens me to realize that our connection was compromised by their jealousy, leading to lies and manipulation that ultimately ended our relationship. For the past four years, I believed he cheated on me and subjected me to other hurtful experiences, while he thought I was some immature douche. Looking back, I now realize that my decision to end us was fueled by jealous lies.
In this moment, I find myself with someone I consider to be the love of my life. It is a bittersweet realization that the man who I believed had hurt me deeply is not the person I thought he was. If I could turn back time, I would have chosen not to break up with him. I feel I missed out on him being my forever. Who knows where our connection would have lead us too…However, I am here today, overjoyed to be with my new boyfriend, who has truly captured my heart, it’s not my fault the former relationship failed, that was the fault of who ever decided to derail us. But I can’t sit here dwelling on the past.
Sexually our connection is incredibly strong, and it enhances our relationship in a profound way. We share a deep understanding of each other's desires and needs, fostering a fulfilling and passionate bond. He touches me in ways that make my toes curl and forces me to grip the sheets. In contrast, with my ex, our sexual compatibility was lacking. It was a part of our relationship that left me unsatisfied and unfulfilled. I now realize the importance of this compatibility and how it contributes to overall relationship satisfaction.
I am grateful for my new boyfriend, who provides me with comfort and support. In contrast, my ex left me alone at a train station at night, leaving me feeling abandoned. It was a distressing experience that made me question the care and consideration in our relationship. It's a reminder of the stark difference in the way they treat me during challenging times.
I'm amazed by the level of thoughtfulness my current boyfriend has shown. After only one month of dating, he surprised me with a huge bouquet of flowers and treated me to a romantic candlelit dinner at a winery for my birthday. In stark contrast, my ex-boyfriend, even after dating for 10 months, gave me a camel plushy as a birthday gift. It truly highlights the difference in effort and consideration between the two relationships. I feel incredibly lucky to have found someone who goes above and beyond to make me feel special and loved.
I can list so many things that make my new partner the obviously choice. He’s the dream man. But is he my dream man?
Life has a way of teaching us valuable lessons through unexpected circumstances. It has taught me the importance of trust, communication, and not letting the actions of others define our relationships. I have learned to cherish the present and embrace the happiness I have found with my current partner.
As we continue our journey together, I am excited about the future we can build and the love we will share. My heart is filled with gratitude for the opportunity to be with someone who treats me with kindness and respect, and with whom I can envision spending the rest of my life.
Thank you for being a part of my life and for bringing immense happiness into it. Here's to the love we have found and the beautiful future that lies ahead.
To answer my own question, my new partner is my dream man and I love him, I can’t wait to tell him that I Love Him.
With love and appreciation, From Sender

Last year in February I got a job. it paid well and I liked the people there so I stayed longer than I ever have at a job. One year and some months isn’t much, but it was the first sort of stability I’ve ever experienced. In May ‘22 I was out for a month because I had surgery. No big deal to go back because I was pretty familiar with everyone there. A month later my favorite coworker quit. At this point I’m starting to feel on edge a lot and my social battery is drained the second I clock out. This sort of cycle persists until August, I had an emergency surgery that set me back around 8 weeks. During this time at home I couldn’t do much, so I got comfortable being 100% alone.
It’s important to note that my social skills were NOT good beforehand, either. I simply found people that understood.
When I went back to work there was almost nobody that I knew. I get along almost exclusively with women, I just think that a lot of the time they’re generally more understanding and patient of my social abilities. There was not one single woman at my job anymore. I couldn’t feel honest with them and the guys there would joke about me and pelt me with ingredients, etc. I ended up leaving because by April I was getting picked on so much that I would cry on my way to work. I talked to the manager and he didn’t do anything. He didn’t change my shifts or make any effort to change the situation.
I need a new job badly. I can’t bring myself to go to an interview. I can’t talk to people. I tried yesterday and before I could even speak I realized I’d been staring with my hands in my pockets for at least 12 seconds. Deciding what I could say. I stopped at a gas station to buy something to eat and I couldn’t even look the clerk in the eyes. I dropped my wallet trying to put it back in my pocket because I was twitching so badly. Help. Thank you

One hundred and forty-nine stairs. That’s how many there are to get up to the fire tower I’m posted at. I used to think getting up there meant safety. Now, I’m hoping it just means survival.
Climbing one hundred and forty-nine steps when you’re healthy is no small feat. When one of your legs has been torn to shreds, you’re bleeding from many places and you’re trying to get up there to wrap it, hoping there’s enough bandages so you don’t bleed to death, it’s a lot more difficult.
Then there are the stairs themselves which also count as a hazard when you have to hop up each one, causing pain to shoot through your injured leg. The stairs are skinny enough as they are, but the closer you get to the top, the smaller they get.
How do I know the exact number of steps? I counted them. I also counted which ones I miscalculated my jump, or brushed my foot against the step, or did something else that nearly sent me sailing over the rickety railing to my untimely death. The first time was one step number three, then fifteen, thirty-seven was a bad one, fifty-two, one oh seven, one-twenty, and finally one-forty-three. I guess it’s a good thing I’m deathly afraid of heights.
By now you may have figured out, I’m a park ranger. How did I end up playing this deadly game of hopscotch? It started a week ago when I got the job.
I was super excited, because I love working alone, and I love nature. What other job blends those two so well?
That excitement waned quite a bit when I arrived at the tower on my first day and looked up at those tiny metal steps I would have to climb to get to my job. The whole thing looked about as sturdy as if someone had built it with an erector set. I mean honestly, seeing surface rust on stairs that have to support your weight is terrifying, and I had to wonder how much I would be swaying when the wind really kicked up.
I wanted to close my eyes and just run up, but I didn’t dare. I paid attention to every single step, watching the metal bow under the weight of my foot, white-knuckling the railings as I went.
Finally, I reached the top and knocked on the trapdoor that had to be opened to let me in. I met the ranger who would be training me. His name was Bob, and he looked every bit how I envision a park ranger would look. Tall and thin, wiry but not scrawny, with a five o’clock shadow because he never had the time to shave properly.
Bob was one of those guys who seemed to always have a smirk on their face like they’ve just been told the greatest joke of all time, but they don’t want to let you in on it.
He spent the entire shift showing me around and then boring me to tears with all the little details of working in a fire tower. The place wasn’t bad. I was expecting an empty room with a card table and a radio, but this was nice. It reminded me of a small apartment or the inside of a small RV. There was a kitchenette with a microwave, sink, and minifridge. There was a couch and a couple of chairs, and most importantly, there was a bathroom.
At one point I thought there would be an outhouse at the base of the tower I would have to use. The thought of going down all those steps while holding number one or especially number two was something I didn’t even want to have nightmares about.
Just before the end of the shift, the next ranger came up. His name was Toby.
Toby looked nothing like I envisioned rangers looking like. He was overweight but made up for it by being under tall. He had a look of mischief in his eyes like a seventh grader who had just dropped a cherry bomb down the toilet and was trying to walk away looking nonchalant.
He smiled and shook my hand.
“So did Bob bore you to tears?” he said.
“Not quite to tears,” I said.
“Hey, I’m a good trainer,” Bob said looking offended yet still wearing that grin.
“Did you tell him everything?” Toby said.
“Pretty sure,” Bob said.
“Did you tell him about?” Toby leaned closer and whispered something in Bob’s ear that I couldn’t hear.
Bob’s grin grew.
“No, I didn’t tell him about that.”
“Maybe we should wait until he’s done training,” Toby said.
“What?” I said looking back and forth between them.
“We’ll tell you once you’re done job shadowing,” Bob said with that infuriating grin.
When we left, I was so focused on what they weren’t telling me, I nearly missed the first step and plunged to my death.
“Yeah, you’re gonna want to focus on those steps,” Bob said. “We had a coworker get hurt really bad because of them.”
“Is he ok now?”
Bob looked away.
Toby came over and volunteered, “He’s dead.”
That was definitely what I wanted to hear.
The next few days were a blur. Between total boredom with reading the procedure book and Bob grinning all the while refusing to tell me the big secret, I was getting super frustrated. I couldn’t wait for my first night working alone.
At least I had brought some supplies up to keep in the tower. Some snacks, a few books, and a tablet to make some notes on if I started writing a story.
Finally, the night came. I was working on my own for the first time. Surprisingly, Bob’s smile vanished as he told me.
“Did you ever read anything off of Reddit?” he said.
I shrugged.
“I don’t really read much other than books.”
“Sign up for Reddit, then go to the nosleep subreddit and look for a story called, ‘I was a park ranger stationed in a fire tower. It had a strange set of rules.’ Read that. It’ll tell you what to do.”
“Ok,” I said. “That’s the big secret? Read someone’s made-up story?”
“It might seem made up,” he said. “But trust me, follow the rules.”
I tried to read his expression to see if he was messing with me or not. In the five days I’d known him, there was never a time he wasn’t wearing that stupid grin, until now. His face was serious as a heart attack.
“Alright,” I said. “I’ll look it up later on my phone.”
“You really should do it as soon as I leave.”
“Ok.”
“Good luck.”
He stepped over to the door and went down the stairs. A few minutes later I heard his truck drive away.
“What the hell was that about?”
I stood in the middle of the room looking out at the beautiful trees, but not even seeing them. My mind was occupied by what Bob had said.
“It has to be a prank,” I said to the empty room. “Bob and Toby cooked this up to scare me on my first night. Well, I’m not falling for it.”
I did my first round of walking around on the outside walkway, looking for any sign of fires. We worked twelve-hour shifts, so I was working from seven am to seven pm. It was late summer and still warm enough to go without a jacket, at least on my first round. By the time I got to my fourth round, there was a chill in the air. I started doing my rounds from the inside and made a mental note to bring a jacket with me tomorrow.
It seemed odd to be talking about a jacket in late summer, but in the forest, the temperatures can vary wildly. It could be thirty degrees at night and eighty during the day.
I stepped back inside and saw my phone had lit up with a text message. I looked at it and it was Bob.
‘Did you read the rules yet?’
‘No,’ I texted back.
‘You don’t have much time.’
I knew this was a joke, it had to be a joke. The old timers pulling a fast one on the new guy, jerking his chain a little.
‘I’ll get right on it,’ I texted.
‘You better.’
I put my phone down and looked at the clock. It was ten minutes after ten. Outside was now completely dark, creating a very disconcerting illusion where when I would look outside, all I saw was my reflection. I decided to turn some lights off and go with just the bare minimum. That reduced the reflection some and I could see some trees outside.
I did a slow pan around, then grabbed a bag of chips and a soda, sat down, and worked on a crossword puzzle. That only lasted a half hour until I was bored with it. I picked up a book and started to read.
I woke sometime later, with my head resting on the back of the chair, chip crumbs all over my shirt, and the book laying on the floor.
I stretched and looked over at the clock. It read two-thirteen.
I jumped up, flinging the bag of chips to the floor, realizing I’d missed several checks, then ran around the room staring out at the trees. After my quick lap, I took a breath and did another slower lap to make sure there was no smoke. Thank God, there was none.
I chided myself for falling asleep on duty like that as I cleaned up my mess. I decided I should set an hourly alarm on my phone so that wouldn’t happen again.
When I picked up the phone I noticed there was a series of texts from Bob.
‘Did you read it yet?’
‘Why aren’t you answering?’
‘Are you alright?’
‘Don’t open the door for any reason.’
The last one sent chills down my spine.
Why would I open the door in the middle of the night?
As I was thinking this, another text came in.
‘For the love of God, read it!’
What the hell was wrong with this guy? Was he seriously losing sleep for a stupid joke?
I decided I would humor him and read the story. I opened my phone and went to the Reddit site. I had just signed up and put my information in when I heard static over the radio. I stepped to the receiver and checked it. Static blared out of it, making me jump as I heard a faint voice in it.
“Tower seven, do you read me?” I heard from a voice I could barely hear through the static.
I hesitated for a moment trying to remember if this was tower seven or not.
“Tower seven do you read me?” the voice said sounding a little more desperate.
I picked up the mic and keyed it.
“This is tower seven, go ahead.”
“It’s good to hear you tower seven,” the voice said suddenly clear. “I didn’t think you would answer.”
“Well, here I am, awake and alert, answering you,” I said. “What did you need?”
“I already have what I need,” the voice said sounding like it was chuckling. “I’d like to come visit if that’s alright.”
“Tower seven, this is base, who are you talking to?”
“I don’t know, someone on the radio,” I said into the mic.
“Seven, there’s no one else on this channel,” base said.
I got chills for a moment. What did that mean? How was I hearing someone that base couldn’t? Why would someone be calling now? Then it hit me that the base dispatcher was probably in on the joke too.
“Ok, base, maybe it was just some random transmission.”
“Tower seven,” the voice said. “Am I alright to come from a visit?”
I hesitated for a moment. What if it wasn’t a joke? Who the hell is walking through the forest at two thirty in the morning?
“Maybe we’ll do that visit another time,” I said.
“Visit?” base said. “What visit? Seven, you know it’s against policy to have visitors.”
“Yeah, sorry, base, I won’t be letting anyone visit.”
More static came over the radio. I could swear I could hear someone say something in the middle of it.
It sounded like, “We’ll see.”
I put down the mic and picked up my phone to read the story when I saw something off in the distance. It was a light, but it was hovering, like a helicopter. I switched my phone to camera mode, zoomed in, and took a picture. It was weird because the light was blue. I didn’t think helicopters had blue lights on them. Also, this light wasn’t flashing, it was solid the whole time. It came closer and I took another picture.
It floated even closer. It was mesmerizing. There was no sound. No hum, no whirring of tiny blades keeping it afloat like a drone, nothing. It was about the size of a basketball and glowing the most brilliant blue I’d ever seen. I reached out for it and it backed away from my hand. I took a step closer to the edge of the walkway, reaching out as far as my arm could stretch.
It backed away a few inches, just out of reach. I stood on my tiptoes, pushing against the railing trying to touch it. It moved away another inch.
I reached the tipping point and pinwheeled my arms to regain my balance and shove back against the railing.
I fell onto the walkway, landing hard on my backside and hitting the back of my head against the window. I looked up and the light was gone.
I shook my head, painfully stood up, and went back inside. I didn’t want to do a patrol but figured I’d better. After a slow walk around, I collapsed in the chair and set my alarm to go off in an hour.
After sitting there for a few minutes I could feel myself nodding off, so I opened my phone and started reading the story. After about ten minutes, I lowered my phone, eyes wide, hands shaking.
“It can’t be real,” I whispered. “It’s just a joke.”
I scrolled back through the story and re-read the rules.

1. Never, under any circumstances, leave the fire tower until you are relieved.
   
2. Turn off all lights between the hours of 2 and 3 am.
   
3. If you receive a radio transmission or phone call between those hours, do not answer.
   
4. If anyone knocks on the trapdoor during those hours tell them they’ll have to wait until morning. Do not open the door.
   
5. If you see a glowing object floating toward the tower, don’t look at it. Cover your eyes and count to 50. When you open your eyes it should be gone. If not, cover and count to 50 again.
   
6. If animals surround the tower don’t go down to look. Fire your flare gun into the air twice one minute apart, then lock yourself in the bathroom and hope for the best.
   My skepticism started to waver. How could they have known about those things, unless…
   

There was a powerful banging at the trapdoor that made me jump.
“Who is it?” I said.
No one answered.
I minute later, the pounding resumed. I searched for anything I could use as a weapon. Digging through the silverware drawer and finding an old, dull, paring knife, I backed as far away from the trapdoor as possible while staying inside. The pounding repeated. Somehow through the fear that coursed through my veins, I found my voice.
“You’ll have to come back in the morning,” I said.
“But I’m here now tower,” said the voice from the radio. “Let… me… in... ”
The last three words changed from asking to demanding. The voice also became deeper and more menacing.
I didn’t answer. I just slid down to the floor and hugged my knees holding the knife in front of me, silently searching through the story on my phone to see if there was something I missed, some way I could remedy the situation. But there was nothing, and the end of the story didn’t give me much hope.
I covered my ears and closed my eyes as the pounding continued now mixed with the voice that was going back and forth between pleading and threatening. It whispered then it screamed. It sound like a young boy, then it sounded demonic.
I rocked back and forth trying to keep some measure of sanity as the assault continued. I began to wonder how long the trapdoor would hold before whatever it was broke through.
Then suddenly it stopped.
As happy as I was that there was no more pounding and yelling, I didn’t trust it. My entire body was on pins and needles. It felt like the calm before the storm.
The fire tower shook. It felt like an earthquake, only different. I stood and went out to the walkway to see what was happening. When I looked down, I couldn’t believe it. The tower was surrounded by animals of all kinds. Deer, squirrels, bears, moose, any forest animal you could imagine, and even a couple I couldn’t and didn’t want to identify.
As I leaned over watching this strange menagerie, a moose rammed into one of the tower’s legs. It sent a shockwave through the entire metal framework. By the time it got up to me the tower was shaking so hard it made me lose my balance.
I toppled over the edge and fell. I threw my arm out attempting to catch the rail, but only touched it with my fingertips.
I knew I was falling to my death, there was no doubt. The wind rushing in my ears didn’t drown out the sound of my screaming. It sounded odd like I was listening to someone else scream. I closed my eyes, not wanting to know when the end was coming.
Suddenly something hit me hard in the ribs. I looked and I had hit a tree limb, but it didn’t stop me. The branch broke sending me falling again until I hit another branch. This one tore a gash on my leg as I flipped head over heels and fell again. The next branch grazed my head and made me see stars. I bounced off another branch hitting my shoulder, then took one to the knee, and landed flat on my back on the ground.
I lay there dazed, injured, but alive and surprised to be so. As I tried to regain my bearings, I saw the animals rushing over to me. I doubted they wanted me to pet them while they licked my wounds and cared for me while singing Disney songs.
I jumped up as pain rocked my body from more places than I wanted to think about. I hopped over to the tower steps and began my long arduous journey, just a half step away from a bunch of animals that seemed dead set on my destruction.
About halfway up I realized there was no more pursuit, so I slowed trying to conserve energy.
I got to the top, unlocked the hatch and tried to push it open. It took several tries to get enough strength while balancing on one leg standing on the tiniest of all the tiny steps. As soon as I got it open, I turned and slammed it shut, locking it.
I hobbled into the room, found the first aid box and struggled to get to the couch. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and forget this day ever happened.
I tried to easily lay myself down, but ended up collapsing in an excruciating heap.
Once down, I focused on bandaging the leg since it was losing the most blood. Once done, I proceeded to bandage all the rest of the areas that needed.
“How are you feeling, tower seven?” I heard the voice say over the radio.
I didn’t answer.
“Oh, come on now tower, don’t be like that,” it said. “Talk to me. Let me in and we’ll have a conversation.”
I lay there trying to think of anything other than pain and this voice.
“There has to be punishment for disobeying the rules.”
My blood ran cold. How did that thing know about the rules?
I reached into my pocket and was astonished that my phone was there. It had a cracked screen, but was usable. I texted Bob.
‘I’m alive, somehow. I broke half the rules without knowing it because I read the story too late.’
‘Are you alright?’
I took pictures of my bandaged leg that was wrapped but blood was still seeping through. I took pictures of my battered face, and my bruised ribs. I sent them all to Bob.
‘Good Lord, man, what did you do?’
‘I fell out of the tower.’
‘You did what?’
‘Was leaning over the edge of the walkway when one of the animals smashed into the support leg and shook the tower, knocking me over.’
‘How are you alive?’
‘Tree caught me.’
‘I’ll call the paramedics and come in early to relieve you.’
‘I’ll be laying here on the couch, bleeding.’
Then I added, ‘I’ll follow the rules from now on.’
There was static on the radio and a faint voice said, “You’d better.”
***
When Bob unlocked the hatch and led the EMTs in, he didn’t have that grin on his face.
“You ok, kid?” he said.
“Hunky dory, how about you?” I said laying on the cushions that were soaked in my own blood.
“He might be in shock,” one of the EMTs said.
My rescue was an adventure in itself. When they examined me they informed me that my leg was broken. I was sweating trying to go back down those steps with a splint on. I could just see me slipping near the top and falling again. There didn’t seem to be any trees close enough to catch me on this side.
Apparently, the EMTs seemed to be thinking the same thing. Someone came up with the brilliant idea of tying me to a backboard and trying to carry me down the steps. After two EMTs nearly fell, they decided to tie it to a rope and lower me like a sack of potatoes.
They rigged up a rope around one of the support poles for the walkway. Watching the rope scrape along the edges of the wood, fraying as it went was probably more terrifying than anything I’d experienced last night.
Floating in the air, spinning slowly didn’t help my fear of heights any. I decided to close my eyes and try to stay as still as possible so the balance wouldn’t be disturbed and slide me out of the end to fall to my death.
I was extremely grateful when the board hit the ground. My adrenaline finally crashed and I fell into a deep sleep as they loaded me into the ambulance.
***
Truth be told, I’m absolutely terrified to go back to the tower. It’s not like I have a lot of choices. Park ranger is a good paying job and sitting around watching for fires is about the easiest job I’ve ever heard of.
If you take away the supernatural voices, bizarre wildlife, strange lights, and the stairs of death.
I’m hoping paying attention to the rules will keep me safe.
I’m posting this as a warning. If your job has some strange rules, make sure you follow them, no matter how stupid you think they might be.

I understand that some of you guys are in good marriages and that’s great but I don’t feel I can trust my husband.
I feel like when you marry and you start a family and give your life to them you should be able to trust them completely but due to years of always being second class, him putting BM before me and always caring more about his daughter’s feelings then mine or not caring about what me and our two bios needed I can’t trust him.
I do not feel he married me for the right reasons. It was like he wanted a place holder, good sex, help with his kid, and an extra paycheck. I feel the only reason we’re still together is because we have two bios.
It always kind of felt like he held some kind of criteria and every time I couldn’t give him what he wanted he’d blow a fit like a child and threaten to leave. He’ll get mad over the dumbest things when I turned my life around to be with him. I’m very resentful.
I feel kind of alone and that our marriage is a ticking time bomb.
Obviously we have lots of other issues but knowing that he’ll never choose me I can’t trust in him and have kind of went in my own separate path in my marriage. Staying faithful and obviously still remaining a good mother to my kids and taking care of my home home but it’s hard for me to look him in the eyes and see forever. There’s too many conditions stepfamily related and marriage related.