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2023.06.09 03:20 Fawxer Facing my bank here, what type of attorney do I need and what's the best option for me to find the right one?
My bank has frozen my account without any notice or warning at a pretty terrible time. It's been over a week now and they have not contacted me. I've called the support line multiple times but they tell me they can't get me in touch with the department that froze my account and that I need to wait until they contact me (all 3 times). As of right now, the most I know about why it's happening is because my manager at work told me about it yesterday. The fraud department froze my account over an issue that had been resolved several weeks prior through customer support and my employer, and I only know about this because of my manager. They called him about this two days ago, told him about it (they knew, this was an old issue) and actually suggested that they fire me. They have yet to contact ME about anything.
I'll try to summarize the situation that lead up to where I'm at, feel free to ask questions about any details. It might be long, but I really will try to summarize without leaving key details
The issue is over duplicate deposits on checks deposited via mobile. Earlier this year my employer came to me saying he noticed duplicate deposits on my checks. Confused and understanding that such a thing wouldn't be even possible, I check my bank history and searched for the check $ amounts that he mentioned and saw only one deposit for each. So I contacted support. I told him about what my employer said, gave details about the checks etc and asked him to search the history of my account for said duplicates. He immediately said if it was the same checks and both done via mobile then it simply wont work. This was my understanding. Regardless, he searched the entire history of my account for duplicates and reported back to me saying there were none. I reported this to my employer and showed him the screenshots of this conversation with the bank rep. He effectively said "ok no problem banks are silly we'll figure it out thanks" and I moved on entirely. MONTHS later I notice on my banking profile a withdrawal was made one morning, and it was labeled as a duplicate in the memo and matched the amount of one of the checks in question. Shocked and scared I immediately open up the support line again and ask what is happening, obviously confused as this had been cleared up already. A new rep comes in and basically explains that the previous rep was wrong, and that there WERE duplicate deposits. I said I still don't see them, and he told me to download the "eStatements" PDF. Something I've never done before, as the banking profile seemed to suffice. I downloaded the PDF, and searched for the amounts and sure enough saw them.
As for why any deposit "attempts" would even be made on an old check in the first place, there are several factors. A big one is that I was never at any point under any impression that it was ever possible to do such a thing. Didn't even consider it possible at any moment in time (and neither did the first rep I spoke to, so I'm definitely not too crazy for this one). To me thinking about it now, it's like believing I'd be able to use a gift card twice because I photo copied it or something. Digital footprints and IDs etc etc.. anyways I digress. When receiving my checks at work, I will usually attempt to deposit them right away via mobile. Throughout the years, there have been some instances where the check is finicky (handwritten) and simply wont deposit with the camera deposit app. Sometimes it takes 8 tries, sometimes 12, sometimes I give up after a few and set it aside to take home where I can control the lighting situation better and often get it to work. The problem is a few times I have misplaced these checks which are now signed. I keep my checks and stubs because my apartment requires me to, and it was also suggested to me as good practice so I file them away safely. I can remember one specific example where I had 2 checks set aside on my desk that were being fussy, and my girlfriend, while cleaning, filed them away with the rest not understanding that they weren't deposited (ZERO blame on her here btw just to be clear lol..). This prompted an investigation to find which ones were undeposited, so I used my banking profile "transaction amount" search function to see. I went through the checks, search for a deposit in that amount, then I put it away. Repeat until I found ones that didn't come up in search. Now we find out over the course of THREE YEARS there were a total of around 5-6 checks that were "duplicate deposited" through the storm of my ADHD and poor organizational skills. Currently, after this whole ordeal, I'm aware of the fact that simply "VOIDING" a successfully deposited check with the date and proper markings is one good way to avoid this completely. I'm sure the idea would have came had I any idea this could all be possible. But at the time a signed check, to me, meant it was dealt with. Queue camera app failing.. etc etc...hopefully it at least makes sense despite being a bit stupid in hindsight..
Anyways, back to current time. Resuming where we were with the new bank rep. After seeing the duplicates did exist in statements but not my banking profile, I explained everything to the rep who, for the record, was very understanding and on my side of things. I confirmed a few important things with them. It is not only possible but a KNOWN ISSUE that the banking profile (where you login to check your balance, transaction history, etc) can have "missing or inaccurate information", and that the best way to know for SURE about a transaction or your balance you must check your eStatements, as they are connected "directly to the server" and therefor provide liable information. Anything in quotes is direct wording but I want to be clear everything else is near verbatim and I have the whole convo saved despite being locked out of the account that can view it. At this point all was relatively well. Neither the bank reps nor my employer believed I had any malicious intent, and the ghost money was being removed from my account. I even got them to confirm in their words that how this happened made sense specifically due to the fact that the banking profile can have missing transactions. As a cherry on top, when I expressed concern about them all coming out at once resulting potentially in negative balance and overdraft fees, the manager rep told me that in this situation they would "have my back" if it came to overdraft fees. I'm finding out now it's a totally separate department came in WEEKS later independently of all this and decided to pursue it as criminal fraud and close my account without telling me a single thing.
What I need help with here is getting my money back out of the frozen account. My current understanding is that they do have the power to freeze my account under suspicion, but they will then need to essentially answer for the consequences (late fees etc and possibly even the several panic attacks, loss of sleep, and massive weightloss this whole thing has actually caused as well) if it turns out there is no criminal fraud. They still have the right to end services with me, but seizing completely unrelated money from me is not justified (again this is my current understanding, potentially all wrong). If I can't talk to anyone what are my steps to take for getting my money back? The support line I have access to tells me it's in the other departments hands and has failed to connect me to them over 3 attempts and multiple hours of being on hold. To be clear, the money related to this incident was already extracted from the account WEEKS before the freeze. What I'm after first and foremost is access to my own completely unrelated money to pay my bills asap. After that, I'll admit I would be interested in seeing what more I can do because the damage done does not stop at late fees. They called my manager for intimidation and actually suggested they fire me.... Pure luck that I'm actually close with my manager... Also, I'm actually a bit embarrassed to admit it but this HAS caused genuine mental and physical issues for me.
From the limited research I've done myself, and the several professionals I've spoke to for just advice, I understand that I do indeed need an attorney regardless of the scenario here. So what I really need help with is....how? I don't have the first idea on what to do here. I'm also nervous about money, as attorneys aren't free and I would not want to be trying to lowball an honest and important job.
I ask for any and all advice or recommendations on what I can do here.
Currently almost 2 weeks into the frozen account and not a single word given to me. Please help. I'm legitimately traumatized. I struggle with some pretty severe anxiety which makes things hard for me in general, but this has been pretty extreme for me. So I believe I want an attorney even if it's simply to have someone speak for me.
Edit1 for important detail: I'm in WA state
submitted by Fawxer to legaladvice [link] [comments]
I'll try to summarize the situation that lead up to where I'm at, feel free to ask questions about any details. It might be long, but I really will try to summarize without leaving key details
The issue is over duplicate deposits on checks deposited via mobile. Earlier this year my employer came to me saying he noticed duplicate deposits on my checks. Confused and understanding that such a thing wouldn't be even possible, I check my bank history and searched for the check $ amounts that he mentioned and saw only one deposit for each. So I contacted support. I told him about what my employer said, gave details about the checks etc and asked him to search the history of my account for said duplicates. He immediately said if it was the same checks and both done via mobile then it simply wont work. This was my understanding. Regardless, he searched the entire history of my account for duplicates and reported back to me saying there were none. I reported this to my employer and showed him the screenshots of this conversation with the bank rep. He effectively said "ok no problem banks are silly we'll figure it out thanks" and I moved on entirely. MONTHS later I notice on my banking profile a withdrawal was made one morning, and it was labeled as a duplicate in the memo and matched the amount of one of the checks in question. Shocked and scared I immediately open up the support line again and ask what is happening, obviously confused as this had been cleared up already. A new rep comes in and basically explains that the previous rep was wrong, and that there WERE duplicate deposits. I said I still don't see them, and he told me to download the "eStatements" PDF. Something I've never done before, as the banking profile seemed to suffice. I downloaded the PDF, and searched for the amounts and sure enough saw them.
As for why any deposit "attempts" would even be made on an old check in the first place, there are several factors. A big one is that I was never at any point under any impression that it was ever possible to do such a thing. Didn't even consider it possible at any moment in time (and neither did the first rep I spoke to, so I'm definitely not too crazy for this one). To me thinking about it now, it's like believing I'd be able to use a gift card twice because I photo copied it or something. Digital footprints and IDs etc etc.. anyways I digress. When receiving my checks at work, I will usually attempt to deposit them right away via mobile. Throughout the years, there have been some instances where the check is finicky (handwritten) and simply wont deposit with the camera deposit app. Sometimes it takes 8 tries, sometimes 12, sometimes I give up after a few and set it aside to take home where I can control the lighting situation better and often get it to work. The problem is a few times I have misplaced these checks which are now signed. I keep my checks and stubs because my apartment requires me to, and it was also suggested to me as good practice so I file them away safely. I can remember one specific example where I had 2 checks set aside on my desk that were being fussy, and my girlfriend, while cleaning, filed them away with the rest not understanding that they weren't deposited (ZERO blame on her here btw just to be clear lol..). This prompted an investigation to find which ones were undeposited, so I used my banking profile "transaction amount" search function to see. I went through the checks, search for a deposit in that amount, then I put it away. Repeat until I found ones that didn't come up in search. Now we find out over the course of THREE YEARS there were a total of around 5-6 checks that were "duplicate deposited" through the storm of my ADHD and poor organizational skills. Currently, after this whole ordeal, I'm aware of the fact that simply "VOIDING" a successfully deposited check with the date and proper markings is one good way to avoid this completely. I'm sure the idea would have came had I any idea this could all be possible. But at the time a signed check, to me, meant it was dealt with. Queue camera app failing.. etc etc...hopefully it at least makes sense despite being a bit stupid in hindsight..
Anyways, back to current time. Resuming where we were with the new bank rep. After seeing the duplicates did exist in statements but not my banking profile, I explained everything to the rep who, for the record, was very understanding and on my side of things. I confirmed a few important things with them. It is not only possible but a KNOWN ISSUE that the banking profile (where you login to check your balance, transaction history, etc) can have "missing or inaccurate information", and that the best way to know for SURE about a transaction or your balance you must check your eStatements, as they are connected "directly to the server" and therefor provide liable information. Anything in quotes is direct wording but I want to be clear everything else is near verbatim and I have the whole convo saved despite being locked out of the account that can view it. At this point all was relatively well. Neither the bank reps nor my employer believed I had any malicious intent, and the ghost money was being removed from my account. I even got them to confirm in their words that how this happened made sense specifically due to the fact that the banking profile can have missing transactions. As a cherry on top, when I expressed concern about them all coming out at once resulting potentially in negative balance and overdraft fees, the manager rep told me that in this situation they would "have my back" if it came to overdraft fees. I'm finding out now it's a totally separate department came in WEEKS later independently of all this and decided to pursue it as criminal fraud and close my account without telling me a single thing.
What I need help with here is getting my money back out of the frozen account. My current understanding is that they do have the power to freeze my account under suspicion, but they will then need to essentially answer for the consequences (late fees etc and possibly even the several panic attacks, loss of sleep, and massive weightloss this whole thing has actually caused as well) if it turns out there is no criminal fraud. They still have the right to end services with me, but seizing completely unrelated money from me is not justified (again this is my current understanding, potentially all wrong). If I can't talk to anyone what are my steps to take for getting my money back? The support line I have access to tells me it's in the other departments hands and has failed to connect me to them over 3 attempts and multiple hours of being on hold. To be clear, the money related to this incident was already extracted from the account WEEKS before the freeze. What I'm after first and foremost is access to my own completely unrelated money to pay my bills asap. After that, I'll admit I would be interested in seeing what more I can do because the damage done does not stop at late fees. They called my manager for intimidation and actually suggested they fire me.... Pure luck that I'm actually close with my manager... Also, I'm actually a bit embarrassed to admit it but this HAS caused genuine mental and physical issues for me.
From the limited research I've done myself, and the several professionals I've spoke to for just advice, I understand that I do indeed need an attorney regardless of the scenario here. So what I really need help with is....how? I don't have the first idea on what to do here. I'm also nervous about money, as attorneys aren't free and I would not want to be trying to lowball an honest and important job.
I ask for any and all advice or recommendations on what I can do here.
Currently almost 2 weeks into the frozen account and not a single word given to me. Please help. I'm legitimately traumatized. I struggle with some pretty severe anxiety which makes things hard for me in general, but this has been pretty extreme for me. So I believe I want an attorney even if it's simply to have someone speak for me.
Edit1 for important detail: I'm in WA state
2023.06.09 03:00 Independent_Bike6442 Unrequited love is a Bitch
Why is it seven/ almost 8 months later I still think of you late at night curious if you with someone else rn I know you will never see this message so that is why I am sending it.
But late at night you creep in my mind when my eyes close and search for peace you are there. Clear as day I remember your every feature. I wish I could just forget you. Messaging you to meet was stupid Ik that now. And I was curious to see what your response would be, subconsciously I already knew you would block me straight away.
I wonder if you’ve been able to sleep anyone else since our split I burned all the pictures of you yet the picture of you in my mind still remains..
How I wish I could tell you all the things that’s has happened in my life. All the insane things seem arbitrary when it comes to being so sad. Late at night I remember, not I but my body how you’d make me feel not just in pleasure but in my heart.. you made me feel alive now I’m just numb again
sleeping sleeping all the time sleep is my lover now
I guess I wonder how you walked away from me so easily how you could stand to not meet my lips and my soul again, we both did fucked up things either one we were willing to be taken with accountability
I’m learning to learn to unlove you with ever fibre of me I fear my heart will never be the same. You will always have a piece of it a piece not even me or another love may grasp hold of again.
I fear that I may never trust another person with my fragile heart I never want to experience that pain ever again I felt my heart being ripped out my chest strangers telling me I’m to pretty to cry.
Strangers seeing that I was so deflated and broken the tears stung my eyes when I realised you wouldn’t meet them again. Not in reality not even within a phone screen.
I loved you so much, so so much and I think you didn’t love me at all I feel a hole in my soul like a piece of me has been ripped away.
My eyes are so glazed over I cannot see another as I did with you. I can not see beauty not without you.
I miss your body, the way your peppermint smell would linger on my neck and lips. How I’d look into those big brown eyes and see nothing but pools of opportunity, love and of course chocolate my favourite part of you was those lips I kissed many others but no one could set me on fire like you. Compared to you they were sparks that went out as soon as my lips that met theirs. You made me cry happy cry when I first kissed you, I never experienced that in my life you set my soul on fire and you burned for me. Why couldn’t we go back to that. Forget everything that has happened.
Your the logical one and I’m the emotional one I keep fucking dreaming about you having pleasurable moments me asking when can I see you again and you fading away into dust as I slowly regain consciousness
But if you think of me, anything at all what do you think ? Do you dream at all do you remember the first night we kissed are you happier without me?
are you content are you lonely ? Are you at all regretful are you in love with another are you alone right now are you in a dark room crying like I do ? Have you opened up to anyone else but me ?
submitted by Independent_Bike6442 to LoveLetters [link] [comments]
But late at night you creep in my mind when my eyes close and search for peace you are there. Clear as day I remember your every feature. I wish I could just forget you. Messaging you to meet was stupid Ik that now. And I was curious to see what your response would be, subconsciously I already knew you would block me straight away.
I wonder if you’ve been able to sleep anyone else since our split I burned all the pictures of you yet the picture of you in my mind still remains..
How I wish I could tell you all the things that’s has happened in my life. All the insane things seem arbitrary when it comes to being so sad. Late at night I remember, not I but my body how you’d make me feel not just in pleasure but in my heart.. you made me feel alive now I’m just numb again
sleeping sleeping all the time sleep is my lover now
I guess I wonder how you walked away from me so easily how you could stand to not meet my lips and my soul again, we both did fucked up things either one we were willing to be taken with accountability
I’m learning to learn to unlove you with ever fibre of me I fear my heart will never be the same. You will always have a piece of it a piece not even me or another love may grasp hold of again.
I fear that I may never trust another person with my fragile heart I never want to experience that pain ever again I felt my heart being ripped out my chest strangers telling me I’m to pretty to cry.
Strangers seeing that I was so deflated and broken the tears stung my eyes when I realised you wouldn’t meet them again. Not in reality not even within a phone screen.
I loved you so much, so so much and I think you didn’t love me at all I feel a hole in my soul like a piece of me has been ripped away.
My eyes are so glazed over I cannot see another as I did with you. I can not see beauty not without you.
I miss your body, the way your peppermint smell would linger on my neck and lips. How I’d look into those big brown eyes and see nothing but pools of opportunity, love and of course chocolate my favourite part of you was those lips I kissed many others but no one could set me on fire like you. Compared to you they were sparks that went out as soon as my lips that met theirs. You made me cry happy cry when I first kissed you, I never experienced that in my life you set my soul on fire and you burned for me. Why couldn’t we go back to that. Forget everything that has happened.
Your the logical one and I’m the emotional one I keep fucking dreaming about you having pleasurable moments me asking when can I see you again and you fading away into dust as I slowly regain consciousness
But if you think of me, anything at all what do you think ? Do you dream at all do you remember the first night we kissed are you happier without me?
are you content are you lonely ? Are you at all regretful are you in love with another are you alone right now are you in a dark room crying like I do ? Have you opened up to anyone else but me ?
2023.06.09 02:44 Quirky-Kangaroo-5025 My love letter to the person who recommended Convergence of Desire
YOU’VE DESTROYED ME. I LOVE YOU.
The End.
No, but wow. Over the past few months I’ve tried to enter the world of historical romance, but no matter what book I read, I just couldn’t get into it. I love period dramas and movies. I devour them. I love balls and yearning and hands barely touching and pretty dresses and white floofy shirts. There’s just been something about the literature side that hasn’t really clicked for me (YET!!!).
But then {Convergence of Desire} happened.
Thomas. Tom. Tommy. Him going from neutral passiveness to crying and having internal meltdowns because he’s so in love with Harry was everything. And I loved how his infatuation with her wasn’t sexual, or at least didn’t begin as anything sexual, even when he began to desire her physical form. This feels even more important because of Tommy’s relationship with sex and how he craves it like an addict.
His entire day would be made if she made eye contact with him. If she smiled at him? Check his pulse he may have flatlined.
There was a part where he compared being beside Harry to like resting under the shade of a birch tree, and that was very beautiful to me. Because when we’re introduced to Tommy, he’s very much a go-go-go person. He can’t sit still and be alone with himself or he’ll drown in his anxiety and sadness. He has to be drunk, or going out riding, or visiting brothels every waking moment.
So to find solace, companionship, and friendship in Harry was momentous.
And then Harriet. Harry.
I know everyone is sick and tired of the emotionless robot trope when it concerns Autistic characters. And I know there are some readers who would peg her as such and nothing else. But Harry felt truly alive and feeling, it just took to learning who she was to read all those cues. There are many aspects of Harry I relate to, and I found it refreshing. To see her masking, to feeling frustration over not understanding social cues, her special interests; it was nice to be seen.
Anyway. I loved that Harry never changed or got some weird and insulting “cure through love” and had her entire personality warped to fit a conventional happy evening. Harry was Harry throughout. And I liked that her character development wasn’t about changing who she was but giving her new worldviews that aided in her mental and physical health, which in turn helped her better interact with those in her circle of trust.
I loved her and Tommy’s relationship. They felt like friends before lovers and I really, really loved that. I loved that they had chemistry and genuinely liked one another as people. They were just so lovely!!!!
submitted by Quirky-Kangaroo-5025 to RomanceBooks [link] [comments]
The End.
No, but wow. Over the past few months I’ve tried to enter the world of historical romance, but no matter what book I read, I just couldn’t get into it. I love period dramas and movies. I devour them. I love balls and yearning and hands barely touching and pretty dresses and white floofy shirts. There’s just been something about the literature side that hasn’t really clicked for me (YET!!!).
But then {Convergence of Desire} happened.
Thomas. Tom. Tommy. Him going from neutral passiveness to crying and having internal meltdowns because he’s so in love with Harry was everything. And I loved how his infatuation with her wasn’t sexual, or at least didn’t begin as anything sexual, even when he began to desire her physical form. This feels even more important because of Tommy’s relationship with sex and how he craves it like an addict.
His entire day would be made if she made eye contact with him. If she smiled at him? Check his pulse he may have flatlined.
There was a part where he compared being beside Harry to like resting under the shade of a birch tree, and that was very beautiful to me. Because when we’re introduced to Tommy, he’s very much a go-go-go person. He can’t sit still and be alone with himself or he’ll drown in his anxiety and sadness. He has to be drunk, or going out riding, or visiting brothels every waking moment.
So to find solace, companionship, and friendship in Harry was momentous.
And then Harriet. Harry.
I know everyone is sick and tired of the emotionless robot trope when it concerns Autistic characters. And I know there are some readers who would peg her as such and nothing else. But Harry felt truly alive and feeling, it just took to learning who she was to read all those cues. There are many aspects of Harry I relate to, and I found it refreshing. To see her masking, to feeling frustration over not understanding social cues, her special interests; it was nice to be seen.
Anyway. I loved that Harry never changed or got some weird and insulting “cure through love” and had her entire personality warped to fit a conventional happy evening. Harry was Harry throughout. And I liked that her character development wasn’t about changing who she was but giving her new worldviews that aided in her mental and physical health, which in turn helped her better interact with those in her circle of trust.
I loved her and Tommy’s relationship. They felt like friends before lovers and I really, really loved that. I loved that they had chemistry and genuinely liked one another as people. They were just so lovely!!!!
2023.06.09 02:41 bodymathindex What Disney (animated) movie deserves a 2nd look or is underappreciated?
For me it's Sleeping Beauty. Aladdin is my all time favorite, but recently rewatched Sleeping Beauty and enjoyed it. It’s nothing deep or tremendously clever, but it's a simple story, and doesn't try to be anything more.
Aurora isn't anything special, but she's very charming, as are the fairies, who are the real heroes. It is interesting to see such an older movie portray older women in such a positive light, especially who are larger or just aren't traditionally gorgeous. Very warm and maternal figures. I originally never liked the prince (Philip), mainly because I thought he really didn't do anything. And I still kind of feel that way, but he's more likeable than I remember, and of course a good voice.
But the best was Maleficent. Just a fun villain who enjoys being evil. No tragic backstory, just someone evil. The animation is gorgeous, and the music can really bring you into it. A very simple but honest story, really a true fairy tale, but there definitely something comforting about it rewatching it as an adult.
What's your movie that deserves more love?
submitted by bodymathindex to movies [link] [comments]
Aurora isn't anything special, but she's very charming, as are the fairies, who are the real heroes. It is interesting to see such an older movie portray older women in such a positive light, especially who are larger or just aren't traditionally gorgeous. Very warm and maternal figures. I originally never liked the prince (Philip), mainly because I thought he really didn't do anything. And I still kind of feel that way, but he's more likeable than I remember, and of course a good voice.
But the best was Maleficent. Just a fun villain who enjoys being evil. No tragic backstory, just someone evil. The animation is gorgeous, and the music can really bring you into it. A very simple but honest story, really a true fairy tale, but there definitely something comforting about it rewatching it as an adult.
What's your movie that deserves more love?
2023.06.09 02:40 snootywiththebooty Am I (26F) Protecting My Peace or Just Being Too Hard on My Boyfriend (24M)
Myself (26F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been together around 10 months now. This is his first relationship, and my fourth serious one. I have been in two abusive (one physically) relationships out of the three prior, and in all, have had to take on the mental burden, oftentimes “mothering” my boyfriends.
After my last relationship (an emotionally abusive one) ended at the start of 2020, I truly thought I would be alone forever. I lived alone happily and freely, and dated casually. I got very used to my own company and thrived.
For context, as a person, I can be stern. I often miss social cues and can struggle with direct empathy. If something doesn’t seem logical to me, I may not be the most empathetic. It is a flaw, but I am working on it. With that being said, I do not suffer fools gladly. After having been so free for two and a half years between my last relationship and this one, my level of tolerance for male ineptitude has shrunken to near-nil. Coupled with my (diagnosed) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and general neurosis, I live my life by a set of standards (cleanliness, and routines dictated by logic), and anyone that wants to be in my life must abide by them, particularly if they want to enter my home.
So I meet my boyfriend. Everything is great. He’s a genuinely kind, if somewhat sensitive guy. He has far lesser relationship experience than me and is eager to please - a far better man than any I have met before. However, he has been babied his entire life. Lived at home until meeting me, and still does. This has (I feel) led to a very frustrating lack of common sense and situational awareness, and at times, sheer thoughtlessness.
We have had many arguments and disagreements as a result (eg - sending him to grocery shop multiple times with lists, stating explicitly that he must use the list - after the two prior times he didn’t - and yet he still came home missing items). But with all these issues, after initial resistance on his part, he claims to see the error of his ways, usually apologises and (attempts to) change his behaviour.
The issue I come to you all with now, is being unsure whether I take everything a step too far. Tonight, he was closing my laptop and asked, “How do I turn this off?” - I immediately told him to open his eyes, think for a second, that he is not stupid and is more than capable of figuring out how to do it, given that he works with the operating system it uses, every day in his 9-5. An argument ensued, where he told me I am, “Always making a problem”, “Putting him down” and “Pushing him away”. He left to sleep in another room.
I can see where my approach can appear harsh, but as far as I am concerned, everything I said was correct. I have discussed with him on many an occasion the implications for women in taking on the “mental burden”. This includes when men expect women to do their thinking for them.
He will ask me questions OFTEN, that if he thought about himself for more than 2 seconds, he would have the answer to. It seems to me like he just wants me to do his thinking for him, and given that I already struggle with increasingly difficult OCD, and having him in my space alone is a huge mental task for me, these inane questions and expectations that I will micro-manage his life are, quite frankly, fucking insulting.
I do see that he is a brilliant partner elsewhere, and I know some will say that I should pick my battles, but as a woman who was more than happy alone, and already takes on a huge task in inviting another person into my carefully curated lifestyle, mitigating it as much as possible so as not to affect his lifestyle so hugely - I do not think that I should cave to the idea I am, “pushing him away”. If setting boundaries to ensure he is a functioning adult alongside me, and not some man-baby slowly depleting my mental reserves is considered “pushing him away”, then surely I’d be best to let him go. Or am I being too harsh? It should be mentioned that I do love him very much, and would be sad to lose him.
TLDR; My boyfriend has minimal experience in relationships. I find him to be kind and caring, but ultimately rather thoughtless and throughothe flippant. This doesn’t fit with my Type A personality. He claims my communication style is pushing him away. Want to know if I’m being too harsh
EDIT: It would appear my post has come across as an attack on his character. To be clear - he is a wonderful person whose kindness is next to none. My articulation of the situation is solely to convey the issues I have with the relationship dynamic, not with him as a person. I do not want to mother another partner. Perhaps also pertinent to note that these have been discussed “softly” on many occasions, and my patience has worn thin with repeated instances of flippant behaviour. Hence my frustration.
submitted by snootywiththebooty to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
After my last relationship (an emotionally abusive one) ended at the start of 2020, I truly thought I would be alone forever. I lived alone happily and freely, and dated casually. I got very used to my own company and thrived.
For context, as a person, I can be stern. I often miss social cues and can struggle with direct empathy. If something doesn’t seem logical to me, I may not be the most empathetic. It is a flaw, but I am working on it. With that being said, I do not suffer fools gladly. After having been so free for two and a half years between my last relationship and this one, my level of tolerance for male ineptitude has shrunken to near-nil. Coupled with my (diagnosed) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and general neurosis, I live my life by a set of standards (cleanliness, and routines dictated by logic), and anyone that wants to be in my life must abide by them, particularly if they want to enter my home.
So I meet my boyfriend. Everything is great. He’s a genuinely kind, if somewhat sensitive guy. He has far lesser relationship experience than me and is eager to please - a far better man than any I have met before. However, he has been babied his entire life. Lived at home until meeting me, and still does. This has (I feel) led to a very frustrating lack of common sense and situational awareness, and at times, sheer thoughtlessness.
We have had many arguments and disagreements as a result (eg - sending him to grocery shop multiple times with lists, stating explicitly that he must use the list - after the two prior times he didn’t - and yet he still came home missing items). But with all these issues, after initial resistance on his part, he claims to see the error of his ways, usually apologises and (attempts to) change his behaviour.
The issue I come to you all with now, is being unsure whether I take everything a step too far. Tonight, he was closing my laptop and asked, “How do I turn this off?” - I immediately told him to open his eyes, think for a second, that he is not stupid and is more than capable of figuring out how to do it, given that he works with the operating system it uses, every day in his 9-5. An argument ensued, where he told me I am, “Always making a problem”, “Putting him down” and “Pushing him away”. He left to sleep in another room.
I can see where my approach can appear harsh, but as far as I am concerned, everything I said was correct. I have discussed with him on many an occasion the implications for women in taking on the “mental burden”. This includes when men expect women to do their thinking for them.
He will ask me questions OFTEN, that if he thought about himself for more than 2 seconds, he would have the answer to. It seems to me like he just wants me to do his thinking for him, and given that I already struggle with increasingly difficult OCD, and having him in my space alone is a huge mental task for me, these inane questions and expectations that I will micro-manage his life are, quite frankly, fucking insulting.
I do see that he is a brilliant partner elsewhere, and I know some will say that I should pick my battles, but as a woman who was more than happy alone, and already takes on a huge task in inviting another person into my carefully curated lifestyle, mitigating it as much as possible so as not to affect his lifestyle so hugely - I do not think that I should cave to the idea I am, “pushing him away”. If setting boundaries to ensure he is a functioning adult alongside me, and not some man-baby slowly depleting my mental reserves is considered “pushing him away”, then surely I’d be best to let him go. Or am I being too harsh? It should be mentioned that I do love him very much, and would be sad to lose him.
TLDR; My boyfriend has minimal experience in relationships. I find him to be kind and caring, but ultimately rather thoughtless and throughothe flippant. This doesn’t fit with my Type A personality. He claims my communication style is pushing him away. Want to know if I’m being too harsh
EDIT: It would appear my post has come across as an attack on his character. To be clear - he is a wonderful person whose kindness is next to none. My articulation of the situation is solely to convey the issues I have with the relationship dynamic, not with him as a person. I do not want to mother another partner. Perhaps also pertinent to note that these have been discussed “softly” on many occasions, and my patience has worn thin with repeated instances of flippant behaviour. Hence my frustration.
2023.06.09 02:39 magicplanet1212 [DOWNLOAD] Michael Mackenzie – Lifeflow Classical Magic
DOWNLOAD: Michael Mackenzie – Lifeflow Classical Magic
What is Classical Magic?
Classical Magic is a 65-minute audio CD with a unique and exquisite arrangement of some of the most beautiful renditions of timeless classical Baroque masterpieces.But it’s far more than a classical music compilation.
Here’s why:
I spent a few months working with a good friend and colleague to put the *magic* in this Classical Magic CD.
You see, my friend has many years of experience in the fields of music therapy, stress relief and personal development.
We both knew the proven “Superlearning” benefits of Baroque classical music.
But we wanted to turbo-charge it with something more.
So we approached our audio engineer to see how we could combine this powerful classical music with the proven science of LifeFlow® Brainwave Entrainment technology.
We chose to combine the precise 7.83Hz natural frequency of the earth (for it’s healing, relaxing and protective properties) with some of the most sought-after classical masterpieces ever composed.
Classical Magic is the outcome.
We created Classical Magic just this way because …
And the best part is that the LifeFlow® Brainwave Entrainment technology and the 7.83Hz Schumann Resonance frequency work their magic without disrupting the music at all! … Because only the music is audible to your ears!
How You Can Benefit From Classical Magic?
As you listen to your exquisite arrangement of Bach, Brahms, Borodin, Chopin, Grieg and Mozart, the scientifically proven audio technology embedded within will guide you into perfect states of bliss and harmony, creating an inner sense of calm.
Picture yourself feeling peaceful, positive, loving and centered as you enter the healing and protective natural state of the Schumann Resonance. Ideal for listening while at your computer to offset the harmful radiation given off by the computer and monitor. You will be enthralled by the refreshing peace and harmony Classical Magic brings into your home…
Delight your friends by playing Classical Magic in the background when they visit, they’ll be dazzled with the ambiance within your home as they enjoy a coffee or dinner with you…Y
ou can relax and de-stress at the end of every day… In your hectic life when there never seems to be time for you – imagine that little special time each day dedicated to your needs – allowing your thoughts to unwind in the comfort of your calm mind, rejuvenating your whole being.
Spark the perfect atmosphere with Classical Magic while you enjoy a romantic meal with your partner. Play it for the kids to enhance focus and concentration during homework time.Allow the delightful music to cradle you to sleep.Unleash your inner creative genius while you study, write, or engage in your favorite artistic activity.
Take your CD with you anywhere you go… share it at friend-and-family gatherings… play it outdoors to add flavor to your picnic or campfire… play it on the plane to escape the confines of air travel… your hotel room… or anywhere else! You can play it virtually anytime, anywhere and for as long as you choose.
submitted by magicplanet1212 to u/magicplanet1212 [link] [comments]
What is Classical Magic?
Classical Magic is a 65-minute audio CD with a unique and exquisite arrangement of some of the most beautiful renditions of timeless classical Baroque masterpieces.But it’s far more than a classical music compilation.
Here’s why:
I spent a few months working with a good friend and colleague to put the *magic* in this Classical Magic CD.
You see, my friend has many years of experience in the fields of music therapy, stress relief and personal development.
We both knew the proven “Superlearning” benefits of Baroque classical music.
But we wanted to turbo-charge it with something more.
So we approached our audio engineer to see how we could combine this powerful classical music with the proven science of LifeFlow® Brainwave Entrainment technology.
We chose to combine the precise 7.83Hz natural frequency of the earth (for it’s healing, relaxing and protective properties) with some of the most sought-after classical masterpieces ever composed.
Classical Magic is the outcome.
We created Classical Magic just this way because …
- You can eat all the right foods
- You can suck down antioxidant-rich teas
- You can exercise every day for the rest of your life
And the best part is that the LifeFlow® Brainwave Entrainment technology and the 7.83Hz Schumann Resonance frequency work their magic without disrupting the music at all! … Because only the music is audible to your ears!
How You Can Benefit From Classical Magic?
As you listen to your exquisite arrangement of Bach, Brahms, Borodin, Chopin, Grieg and Mozart, the scientifically proven audio technology embedded within will guide you into perfect states of bliss and harmony, creating an inner sense of calm.
Picture yourself feeling peaceful, positive, loving and centered as you enter the healing and protective natural state of the Schumann Resonance. Ideal for listening while at your computer to offset the harmful radiation given off by the computer and monitor. You will be enthralled by the refreshing peace and harmony Classical Magic brings into your home…
Delight your friends by playing Classical Magic in the background when they visit, they’ll be dazzled with the ambiance within your home as they enjoy a coffee or dinner with you…Y
ou can relax and de-stress at the end of every day… In your hectic life when there never seems to be time for you – imagine that little special time each day dedicated to your needs – allowing your thoughts to unwind in the comfort of your calm mind, rejuvenating your whole being.
Spark the perfect atmosphere with Classical Magic while you enjoy a romantic meal with your partner. Play it for the kids to enhance focus and concentration during homework time.Allow the delightful music to cradle you to sleep.Unleash your inner creative genius while you study, write, or engage in your favorite artistic activity.
Take your CD with you anywhere you go… share it at friend-and-family gatherings… play it outdoors to add flavor to your picnic or campfire… play it on the plane to escape the confines of air travel… your hotel room… or anywhere else! You can play it virtually anytime, anywhere and for as long as you choose.
2023.06.09 02:39 Sunny_Muffins6 My relationship with my ex
So I've been thinking for a while if I should document some of the history I had with my ex who I was with for almost 10 years. Partially to shed a light on warning signs that I was too naive to notice and also to ask advice on how others got over their experiences and deal with any problems in new relationships that bring back those feelings.
For record I did go to my GP who referred me to counseling sessions. Unfortunately those were only 12 free sessions on the NHS and the therapist I was assigned just kept referring me books to read and "homework" such as saying out loud 3 things I'm happy about in my life before bed... Often she just talked about the lack of funding from the government and such.
So I finally left my ex in 2016 ish, I was on antidepressants, occasionally beta blockers for the panic attacks and birth control, all of which made my mood go up and down like a rollercoaster. I was absolutely miserable and one day it just kind of hit me that I have to leave, it's me or this forever?
We started dating when I was 20/21 and he was 5 years older than me. We met because of an online game and he worked with my older brother. My brother gave me his in game character name incase I needed help. I started chatting to him in the game and he came to see my character, he showed me around and it started like that. I was going away for a weekend to a youth group camping event and he joked wasn't I going to ask for his number to keep talking and so I did. During the weekend I met someone my age at some of the events and had a lot of fun with, we had similar jokes and I thought he was really attractive. We added eachothers emails to keep in touch and so I texted the game friend to say I was sorry but I met a really nice person I was interested in. He instantly replied some comments about how it was just a crush, did I even know if they liked me back. Was I just going to throw away what we had for a guy I met over 3 days. I thought about it and I felt so guilty. I decided to stick with him and have minimal contact with the other via email. Years later when Facebook became a thing he did add me there and I accepted thinking nothing of it. We still didn't message or anything. One year he wrote "Happy Birthday Hope you are well!" To which my guy wrote a very rude/sarcastic response something like "she's great I'll tell her you said hi", so he deleted his post didn't message again.
When I got back from camp we arranged to meet up in person for the first time ever and we went for food/coffee the usual. I will mention that I was pre warned by my brother and wasn't really supposed to be talking to this guy outside of the game, so for the first few months of our dating we kept it hidden until I was found out resulting at an angry brother waiting at the train station for me and telling off my guy in public saying he should know better and was told to stay away from me.
I told my mum about it later that day and honestly she didn't really care, and said it's normal for my age, and so we began to date properly not hidden. This guy was my first proper boyfriend and my first everything really.
In the beginning it was fine, we had good times. I did have to deal with his ex who was trying to become my best friend and go out shopping/partying with which I thought was too strange so obviously never did. I then found out she was calling him in the middle of the night crying asking him to take her back. So he ended up telling me that they used to be Engaged and how she cheated on him and so he broke everything off. Now the first red flag, he told me for his revenge everytime she would start dating a new guy he would get in contact with her, ask how she is, act really caring and charming. He would convince her to come over and then sleep with her so that she would feel so guilty she would tell/end her relationship. She thought they would get back together but instead he laughed in her face and tell her to get lost. Apparently this happened multiple times before we met.
Over time I came to realise because of this he could be very jealous, paranoid and had a bad temper, he would throw and smash plates, punch walls. Second red flag he "accidentally" locked me in his house while he went to work one day. I didn't really have anything to do or eat. In the past he did joke with me that if it was allowed he would lock me in his house and never let me leave. I never was sure if this was some sort of joke or a genuine accident.
His ex lived in the countryside and enjoyed the thrill of outdoor sex because no one was really around. Because of that he also enjoyed it. And so when we started getting a bit more serious he would force that on me. Once he met me early in the morning before I had work, it was a nice walk but then he got very handsy. It was ok as we were behind a lot of trees, but then he brought me to a bench and got me to sit on his lap with his hands down my trousers/pants, all while people were passing by. I kept my eyes closed the entire time and thought for sure someone would tell us off. A few times he would touch me on busy trains/buses, we went to an abandoned warehouse and a house. Sometimes there were kids hanging around spray painting or breaking things. In the house he told me to give him a blow job, I tried to laugh it off and say no thinking he must be joking. Instantly this made him angry, he didn't talk to me for a few minutes and then started to tell me things like "a good girlfriend would do this for her boyfriend" and so I ended up absolutely sobbing but doing what he wanted. A different time in the warehouse he wanted to do anal, and again I said I didn't want to, and again the guilt tripping and saying he would be really quick and no one would see, and feeling guilted I gave in. He finished inside and we left. I didn't realise till I had a shower later that day that because of being outside and not having access to lube I was very tender and sore in the area. This basically went on, and sometimes I would lie and say that I really needed to pee just to get out of having sex in public. Even at home he would often pressure me to doing things I didn't like, I have a bad gag reflex so honestly didn't enjoy going down on him, plus often I didn't like his smell or taste. If I asked him to wash it he got very angry at me and would say how it loses sensitivity and doesn't feel as good. Over time he withdrew going down on me because I wasn't "being a good girlfriend" and honestly I didn't mind.
Around 4 years or so into the relationship I made a new friend in work and she invited us to her birthday in a room booked in a night club. It was supposed to be couples and masquerade themed. My guy didn't want to go with me because it seemed boring and he had no interest in meeting my friends. He went out of his way to arrange our gay friend to go with me so I wouldn't be alone and would have a guy with me. On the night of the party the friend came over while I was getting ready and we had some drinks, my ex then changed his mind and decided to come. This wouldn't be a problem but he also said it was ok that his scummy brother comes along (that's another story) he had promised me that the brother wouldn't be in the booked room and he would stay downstairs in the main club with him. But in they came. I was annoyed because his brother was being really inappropriate with my friend, saying he would take her in the bathroom and show her a good time. He was taking photo's up girls dresses/skirts and asking for girls numbers everywhere (he had a gf and I was also warned by my ex not to be alone with him) my guy ended up not speaking to me for the night because I was annoyed that he wouldn't remove him. When we got back to his house he wouldn't let me go home and told me to shut up and go to bed. I sat on the bed sobbing that I just wanted to go home and he laughed and laughed in my face pointing at me. When I tried to leave he lifted me by my coat, breaking the buttons and my necklace and threw me against the wall. In anger I lifted a photo frame of us and smashed him over the head, in retaliation he punched the wardrobe right beside my head and broke his little finger, I ran out of the apartment. I sat on the curb outside crying because I didn't know how to get home. After maybe half an hour he came out and took me back inside. He told me to please go to sleep and just leave in the morning. After that event we broke up for maybe 5/6 months. I started to feel lonely and stupidly started talking to him again.
After this we moved in together. We rented a house where he was originally from but was much further for me. It resulted in me having to get a train and bus to work everyday or come home. His reasoning was there were no houses for rent where I lived. At this time I worked a pretty crap sales job, I made minimum wage and only worked 16 hours a week. So giving half of my money to him to cover rent/food etc and buying my train and bus ticket left me with £10 a week to my name. I was further away from my friends (who he didn't like me spending time with, they were bad influences) I had a male friend that I grew up with and I viewed him like a brother. He told me I had to cut contact with him as I wouldn't like it if the role was reversed (even though he had several close female friends) he spent his time trying to get me to be friends with his friends, and I didn't get them, they were all older and we had nothing in common. Once he asked one girl to spend the day with me shopping or just anything because I had no friend's. I was so embarrassed when he told me. The fact I couldn't go see my actual friends when I wanted and was alone already made me feel sensitive. It also didn't help that early in our relationship he told me he had only ever slept with his ex before me, I then found out he had actually slept with a few of these other female friends for various reasons. One had a fight with her bf and got into his bed wanting a hug and crying which apparently escalated. One apparently climbed ontop of him while he was sleeping when his house mate had a house party etc. One was single at the same time as he was and they thought why not see. That's what I was told anyway.
The town where he lived was dying and had very little going for it. Apart from the nice scenery walking my dog I had nothing to do. With this going on I began to fall into a slump. I worked, came home and slept. He began getting irritated if was sitting/sleeping on the sofa after work as his pc was in the living room and he said he felt like I was always watching him. I made the small room upstairs into my own little space with my computer to play games on and sometimes he would sneak really quietly into the room to try and see if/who I was talking to online. I ended up going to my GP to talk to someone and that turned to my first experience of antidepressants and beta blockers for my panic attacks. This cut down my sex drive immensely, and he would often argue that I "just lay there" or wouldn't do anything for him. I was applying for jobs with no luck. I went to speak to an advisor and they actually said "have you ever considered getting pregnant?" I ended up taking 2 weeks holiday in my job so I could adjust to the pills as I was feeling ill. I temporarily moved back home to learn to drive as maybe that would help me. I ended up getting a new job in a kitchen in the city centre, meaning I was getting my first full time job and would only have to get a train now. My ex told me to stop the driving lessons as I no longer needed them, and just move back as I had money now. And I did.
In my previous job all women worked in the store. In this new job it was a lot more mixed, I was the only female chef but I got a long with mostly everyone. I met my best friend here and we were in a small friend group of 4, our manager jokingly named us the breakfast club because we were all so different. My female best friend, our gay friend and a Romanian guy who was still learning English. We became really inseparable and would often plan day trips, cinema, dinner's and nights out. We had a group chat and constantly talked and sent memes. I felt happy having friends again. Over time my guy became extremely paranoid, he didn't want me working or spending time around other guys. He told me men are like hungry wolves and you can't trust them, and how he had worked in McDonald's when he was young and everyone slept with everyone etc. I finally had money and friends and he wanted me to quit. I loved the job and the people and often if anyone had to go home sick/hurt I always offered to stay to close. This also didn't help with the paranoia. It got to a point that I had to send him my new work schedule every week and had to have a "good reason" for doing overtime.
As time went on he started to accuse me of cheating on him. If I went out with my friends or even to visit my parents he would tell me (if you're fucking anyone tonight then don't bother coming home). This got more and more frequent and he began smoking and drinking a lot more. Often I would come home from work late at night and instantly be yelled at. There was another incident where he punched the wall again re breaking the finger, he couldn't play guitar anymore and said it was my fault. At this point he was roughly 31 in our relationship and began a friendship with a work colleague who was 18. I never met her once, and he would often go on nights out with her and her friends. The few times I woke up in the night and he wasn't home I rang him panicked thinking is he ok. He would answer "what?" When he came home that would be another argument that he's a grown ass man and can look after himself and I shouldn't be worried about his safety. This continued and some nights I began sleeping on the sofa because I couldn't stand the smell of the smoke and I was afraid to be yelled at while he was drunk. He came home once with every button on his shirt broken that I bought him for a birthday and said a guy did it for a joke and leave it at that. One night he blew up at me resulting in me having a panic attack and I actually felt like I would die. I couldn't breath and my face started to change colour. When he noticed he finally stopped yelling and started slapping my back and squeezing me. I sat on the floor and sobbed and said I was going back home. We didn't talk again properly for about a month, and then he sent a message saying he needed to talk/apologize. I went back to listen to what he had to say and somehow by the end he was saying he loved me and I need to come home. I didn't get a word in before it turned to him taking off my clothes to have "make up sex" and before I knew it I was back. We planned a holiday away for a week, to reconnect and try and have some dates again. It was mostly really great. We did have a minor argument because he was actively telling me how hot this very young looking Spanish girl was, and during one of the days he made me have sex by the glass doors leading out to the pool at our apartment. But when we returned home it was just as aweful. In our time together I learned he hated having his photo taken and put on social media. So I only took 3/4 photos, a few nice ones of him standing looking out at the beach etc. But that was suddenly an issue that I hadn't plastered his holiday pictures all over my Facebook etc. We went straight back to the old routine, being accused of cheating.
At this point we'd been together a long time. Constantly family members asking when we would marry and all my friends starting families. Maybe it was the fear of missing out but suddenly I wanted the same. I spoke to him about marriage and he was very clear it's something he doesn't ever want (you don't need a piece of paper with permission to be with someone) one night I got home from work and he had hand written and framed his own wedding certificate saying Mr and Mrs such and such and said "there you go!". The talk of a baby was also quickly shut down with the reason being "if you have a kid then you always have to be a part of that person's life if it doesn't work out".
At this point I don't even think it was entirely the antidepressants. I didn't even want to touch him. He made me uncomfortable, always walking on eggshells. He stank of cigarettes and beer. I constantly had to clean the house. Around his desk there would be piles of beer tins and used tissues... We were eating take out everyday apart from my 2 days off work. I started putting on weight and he was wanting more money towards rent and food etc. He was still going out with 18/19 year old girls to parties etc. This went on for another 5 months until one day it hit me that "this is it" and if I don't leave something bad will happen . My friend group at work generally noticed I wasn't ok. My best friend started to tell me that I'm being gas lit among other things. And that I needed out, and finally I was able to tell him it was over. We cried a lot and parted ways. It was hard because I had to go back to gather my stuff in multiple taxis or a van. Sometimes I needed his help as I had given the key back or items were heavy. On one occasion he asked how I was and then touched my belly saying I had lost a lot of weight...His eyes started watering and he went to the garden to smoke. About 20 minutes after this as I was gathering my stuff the younger work colleague came by (apparently they had plans to order pizza and watch a movie) this is also the first time I ever saw her and didn't even get a hello or anything, I guess it was an awkward first meeting.
He didn't tell his family I left him. Some months later his brother saw me at a club with my work friends and text him along the lines of he'd finally caught me cheating. He then told the family and his mother was apparently very disappointed. I doubt they know how everything went though. He did also message me to tell me this and asked me to tell him truthfully had I cheated/had I slept with any of the work guys since breaking up..
He moved to live in another country. Sold all of his items on gumtree etc, including some of mine. I had a large gas BBQ that my mum gifted for our house, when I asked for it back he tried to say I already had it, then said it must have been stolen.
He also messaged me a year afterwards trying to say he had made a huge mistake and would I be willing to move in and try again... Of course I said no. Again in 2020 ish he messaged saying he had a weird request. He wanted to become friends again as apparently no one knew him like I and he stupidly pushed me, his best friend away. He didn't want me to remain angry at how he treated me etc. Again I declined saying I don't know if that would ever be something I would feel comfortable with and also that I'm dating someone and that's not fair on him.
I haven't had any contact since then.
I'll never truly know but I honestly feel like he cheated on me because of how hellbent he was that I was doing so to him. The whole thing has left me with some bad trust issues. I don't want to be the paranoid girlfriend not allowing partners to go out or have female friends etc.
Apologies for the lengthy post and thank you to anyone who takes the time to read. I do feel like I've forgotten some things, or a bit too personal for here and I feel like this is so long already!
submitted by Sunny_Muffins6 to abusesurvivors [link] [comments]
For record I did go to my GP who referred me to counseling sessions. Unfortunately those were only 12 free sessions on the NHS and the therapist I was assigned just kept referring me books to read and "homework" such as saying out loud 3 things I'm happy about in my life before bed... Often she just talked about the lack of funding from the government and such.
So I finally left my ex in 2016 ish, I was on antidepressants, occasionally beta blockers for the panic attacks and birth control, all of which made my mood go up and down like a rollercoaster. I was absolutely miserable and one day it just kind of hit me that I have to leave, it's me or this forever?
We started dating when I was 20/21 and he was 5 years older than me. We met because of an online game and he worked with my older brother. My brother gave me his in game character name incase I needed help. I started chatting to him in the game and he came to see my character, he showed me around and it started like that. I was going away for a weekend to a youth group camping event and he joked wasn't I going to ask for his number to keep talking and so I did. During the weekend I met someone my age at some of the events and had a lot of fun with, we had similar jokes and I thought he was really attractive. We added eachothers emails to keep in touch and so I texted the game friend to say I was sorry but I met a really nice person I was interested in. He instantly replied some comments about how it was just a crush, did I even know if they liked me back. Was I just going to throw away what we had for a guy I met over 3 days. I thought about it and I felt so guilty. I decided to stick with him and have minimal contact with the other via email. Years later when Facebook became a thing he did add me there and I accepted thinking nothing of it. We still didn't message or anything. One year he wrote "Happy Birthday Hope you are well!" To which my guy wrote a very rude/sarcastic response something like "she's great I'll tell her you said hi", so he deleted his post didn't message again.
When I got back from camp we arranged to meet up in person for the first time ever and we went for food/coffee the usual. I will mention that I was pre warned by my brother and wasn't really supposed to be talking to this guy outside of the game, so for the first few months of our dating we kept it hidden until I was found out resulting at an angry brother waiting at the train station for me and telling off my guy in public saying he should know better and was told to stay away from me.
I told my mum about it later that day and honestly she didn't really care, and said it's normal for my age, and so we began to date properly not hidden. This guy was my first proper boyfriend and my first everything really.
In the beginning it was fine, we had good times. I did have to deal with his ex who was trying to become my best friend and go out shopping/partying with which I thought was too strange so obviously never did. I then found out she was calling him in the middle of the night crying asking him to take her back. So he ended up telling me that they used to be Engaged and how she cheated on him and so he broke everything off. Now the first red flag, he told me for his revenge everytime she would start dating a new guy he would get in contact with her, ask how she is, act really caring and charming. He would convince her to come over and then sleep with her so that she would feel so guilty she would tell/end her relationship. She thought they would get back together but instead he laughed in her face and tell her to get lost. Apparently this happened multiple times before we met.
Over time I came to realise because of this he could be very jealous, paranoid and had a bad temper, he would throw and smash plates, punch walls. Second red flag he "accidentally" locked me in his house while he went to work one day. I didn't really have anything to do or eat. In the past he did joke with me that if it was allowed he would lock me in his house and never let me leave. I never was sure if this was some sort of joke or a genuine accident.
His ex lived in the countryside and enjoyed the thrill of outdoor sex because no one was really around. Because of that he also enjoyed it. And so when we started getting a bit more serious he would force that on me. Once he met me early in the morning before I had work, it was a nice walk but then he got very handsy. It was ok as we were behind a lot of trees, but then he brought me to a bench and got me to sit on his lap with his hands down my trousers/pants, all while people were passing by. I kept my eyes closed the entire time and thought for sure someone would tell us off. A few times he would touch me on busy trains/buses, we went to an abandoned warehouse and a house. Sometimes there were kids hanging around spray painting or breaking things. In the house he told me to give him a blow job, I tried to laugh it off and say no thinking he must be joking. Instantly this made him angry, he didn't talk to me for a few minutes and then started to tell me things like "a good girlfriend would do this for her boyfriend" and so I ended up absolutely sobbing but doing what he wanted. A different time in the warehouse he wanted to do anal, and again I said I didn't want to, and again the guilt tripping and saying he would be really quick and no one would see, and feeling guilted I gave in. He finished inside and we left. I didn't realise till I had a shower later that day that because of being outside and not having access to lube I was very tender and sore in the area. This basically went on, and sometimes I would lie and say that I really needed to pee just to get out of having sex in public. Even at home he would often pressure me to doing things I didn't like, I have a bad gag reflex so honestly didn't enjoy going down on him, plus often I didn't like his smell or taste. If I asked him to wash it he got very angry at me and would say how it loses sensitivity and doesn't feel as good. Over time he withdrew going down on me because I wasn't "being a good girlfriend" and honestly I didn't mind.
Around 4 years or so into the relationship I made a new friend in work and she invited us to her birthday in a room booked in a night club. It was supposed to be couples and masquerade themed. My guy didn't want to go with me because it seemed boring and he had no interest in meeting my friends. He went out of his way to arrange our gay friend to go with me so I wouldn't be alone and would have a guy with me. On the night of the party the friend came over while I was getting ready and we had some drinks, my ex then changed his mind and decided to come. This wouldn't be a problem but he also said it was ok that his scummy brother comes along (that's another story) he had promised me that the brother wouldn't be in the booked room and he would stay downstairs in the main club with him. But in they came. I was annoyed because his brother was being really inappropriate with my friend, saying he would take her in the bathroom and show her a good time. He was taking photo's up girls dresses/skirts and asking for girls numbers everywhere (he had a gf and I was also warned by my ex not to be alone with him) my guy ended up not speaking to me for the night because I was annoyed that he wouldn't remove him. When we got back to his house he wouldn't let me go home and told me to shut up and go to bed. I sat on the bed sobbing that I just wanted to go home and he laughed and laughed in my face pointing at me. When I tried to leave he lifted me by my coat, breaking the buttons and my necklace and threw me against the wall. In anger I lifted a photo frame of us and smashed him over the head, in retaliation he punched the wardrobe right beside my head and broke his little finger, I ran out of the apartment. I sat on the curb outside crying because I didn't know how to get home. After maybe half an hour he came out and took me back inside. He told me to please go to sleep and just leave in the morning. After that event we broke up for maybe 5/6 months. I started to feel lonely and stupidly started talking to him again.
After this we moved in together. We rented a house where he was originally from but was much further for me. It resulted in me having to get a train and bus to work everyday or come home. His reasoning was there were no houses for rent where I lived. At this time I worked a pretty crap sales job, I made minimum wage and only worked 16 hours a week. So giving half of my money to him to cover rent/food etc and buying my train and bus ticket left me with £10 a week to my name. I was further away from my friends (who he didn't like me spending time with, they were bad influences) I had a male friend that I grew up with and I viewed him like a brother. He told me I had to cut contact with him as I wouldn't like it if the role was reversed (even though he had several close female friends) he spent his time trying to get me to be friends with his friends, and I didn't get them, they were all older and we had nothing in common. Once he asked one girl to spend the day with me shopping or just anything because I had no friend's. I was so embarrassed when he told me. The fact I couldn't go see my actual friends when I wanted and was alone already made me feel sensitive. It also didn't help that early in our relationship he told me he had only ever slept with his ex before me, I then found out he had actually slept with a few of these other female friends for various reasons. One had a fight with her bf and got into his bed wanting a hug and crying which apparently escalated. One apparently climbed ontop of him while he was sleeping when his house mate had a house party etc. One was single at the same time as he was and they thought why not see. That's what I was told anyway.
The town where he lived was dying and had very little going for it. Apart from the nice scenery walking my dog I had nothing to do. With this going on I began to fall into a slump. I worked, came home and slept. He began getting irritated if was sitting/sleeping on the sofa after work as his pc was in the living room and he said he felt like I was always watching him. I made the small room upstairs into my own little space with my computer to play games on and sometimes he would sneak really quietly into the room to try and see if/who I was talking to online. I ended up going to my GP to talk to someone and that turned to my first experience of antidepressants and beta blockers for my panic attacks. This cut down my sex drive immensely, and he would often argue that I "just lay there" or wouldn't do anything for him. I was applying for jobs with no luck. I went to speak to an advisor and they actually said "have you ever considered getting pregnant?" I ended up taking 2 weeks holiday in my job so I could adjust to the pills as I was feeling ill. I temporarily moved back home to learn to drive as maybe that would help me. I ended up getting a new job in a kitchen in the city centre, meaning I was getting my first full time job and would only have to get a train now. My ex told me to stop the driving lessons as I no longer needed them, and just move back as I had money now. And I did.
In my previous job all women worked in the store. In this new job it was a lot more mixed, I was the only female chef but I got a long with mostly everyone. I met my best friend here and we were in a small friend group of 4, our manager jokingly named us the breakfast club because we were all so different. My female best friend, our gay friend and a Romanian guy who was still learning English. We became really inseparable and would often plan day trips, cinema, dinner's and nights out. We had a group chat and constantly talked and sent memes. I felt happy having friends again. Over time my guy became extremely paranoid, he didn't want me working or spending time around other guys. He told me men are like hungry wolves and you can't trust them, and how he had worked in McDonald's when he was young and everyone slept with everyone etc. I finally had money and friends and he wanted me to quit. I loved the job and the people and often if anyone had to go home sick/hurt I always offered to stay to close. This also didn't help with the paranoia. It got to a point that I had to send him my new work schedule every week and had to have a "good reason" for doing overtime.
As time went on he started to accuse me of cheating on him. If I went out with my friends or even to visit my parents he would tell me (if you're fucking anyone tonight then don't bother coming home). This got more and more frequent and he began smoking and drinking a lot more. Often I would come home from work late at night and instantly be yelled at. There was another incident where he punched the wall again re breaking the finger, he couldn't play guitar anymore and said it was my fault. At this point he was roughly 31 in our relationship and began a friendship with a work colleague who was 18. I never met her once, and he would often go on nights out with her and her friends. The few times I woke up in the night and he wasn't home I rang him panicked thinking is he ok. He would answer "what?" When he came home that would be another argument that he's a grown ass man and can look after himself and I shouldn't be worried about his safety. This continued and some nights I began sleeping on the sofa because I couldn't stand the smell of the smoke and I was afraid to be yelled at while he was drunk. He came home once with every button on his shirt broken that I bought him for a birthday and said a guy did it for a joke and leave it at that. One night he blew up at me resulting in me having a panic attack and I actually felt like I would die. I couldn't breath and my face started to change colour. When he noticed he finally stopped yelling and started slapping my back and squeezing me. I sat on the floor and sobbed and said I was going back home. We didn't talk again properly for about a month, and then he sent a message saying he needed to talk/apologize. I went back to listen to what he had to say and somehow by the end he was saying he loved me and I need to come home. I didn't get a word in before it turned to him taking off my clothes to have "make up sex" and before I knew it I was back. We planned a holiday away for a week, to reconnect and try and have some dates again. It was mostly really great. We did have a minor argument because he was actively telling me how hot this very young looking Spanish girl was, and during one of the days he made me have sex by the glass doors leading out to the pool at our apartment. But when we returned home it was just as aweful. In our time together I learned he hated having his photo taken and put on social media. So I only took 3/4 photos, a few nice ones of him standing looking out at the beach etc. But that was suddenly an issue that I hadn't plastered his holiday pictures all over my Facebook etc. We went straight back to the old routine, being accused of cheating.
At this point we'd been together a long time. Constantly family members asking when we would marry and all my friends starting families. Maybe it was the fear of missing out but suddenly I wanted the same. I spoke to him about marriage and he was very clear it's something he doesn't ever want (you don't need a piece of paper with permission to be with someone) one night I got home from work and he had hand written and framed his own wedding certificate saying Mr and Mrs such and such and said "there you go!". The talk of a baby was also quickly shut down with the reason being "if you have a kid then you always have to be a part of that person's life if it doesn't work out".
At this point I don't even think it was entirely the antidepressants. I didn't even want to touch him. He made me uncomfortable, always walking on eggshells. He stank of cigarettes and beer. I constantly had to clean the house. Around his desk there would be piles of beer tins and used tissues... We were eating take out everyday apart from my 2 days off work. I started putting on weight and he was wanting more money towards rent and food etc. He was still going out with 18/19 year old girls to parties etc. This went on for another 5 months until one day it hit me that "this is it" and if I don't leave something bad will happen . My friend group at work generally noticed I wasn't ok. My best friend started to tell me that I'm being gas lit among other things. And that I needed out, and finally I was able to tell him it was over. We cried a lot and parted ways. It was hard because I had to go back to gather my stuff in multiple taxis or a van. Sometimes I needed his help as I had given the key back or items were heavy. On one occasion he asked how I was and then touched my belly saying I had lost a lot of weight...His eyes started watering and he went to the garden to smoke. About 20 minutes after this as I was gathering my stuff the younger work colleague came by (apparently they had plans to order pizza and watch a movie) this is also the first time I ever saw her and didn't even get a hello or anything, I guess it was an awkward first meeting.
He didn't tell his family I left him. Some months later his brother saw me at a club with my work friends and text him along the lines of he'd finally caught me cheating. He then told the family and his mother was apparently very disappointed. I doubt they know how everything went though. He did also message me to tell me this and asked me to tell him truthfully had I cheated/had I slept with any of the work guys since breaking up..
He moved to live in another country. Sold all of his items on gumtree etc, including some of mine. I had a large gas BBQ that my mum gifted for our house, when I asked for it back he tried to say I already had it, then said it must have been stolen.
He also messaged me a year afterwards trying to say he had made a huge mistake and would I be willing to move in and try again... Of course I said no. Again in 2020 ish he messaged saying he had a weird request. He wanted to become friends again as apparently no one knew him like I and he stupidly pushed me, his best friend away. He didn't want me to remain angry at how he treated me etc. Again I declined saying I don't know if that would ever be something I would feel comfortable with and also that I'm dating someone and that's not fair on him.
I haven't had any contact since then.
I'll never truly know but I honestly feel like he cheated on me because of how hellbent he was that I was doing so to him. The whole thing has left me with some bad trust issues. I don't want to be the paranoid girlfriend not allowing partners to go out or have female friends etc.
Apologies for the lengthy post and thank you to anyone who takes the time to read. I do feel like I've forgotten some things, or a bit too personal for here and I feel like this is so long already!
2023.06.09 02:34 pisces1115 TF broke up with me
My TF and I met when we were in daycare. reconnected when we were 12/13. since then we have been in a limbo, never in a relationship, but always came back to each-other’s lives out of the blue like something was pulling us to each other. Now we are 25. We got into a relationship 2 years ago because we agreed we were ready. He unfortunately broke up with me earlier this week. This is my awakening and I do not understand how to stop thinking about him, obsessing over him, and craving to be with him. I have started reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle which is helpful, but I am still struggling. We both understand that this is a break up, but technically is a break because we will come back to each other since that is how it has always been. We know we are TF and union will occur when the time is right. We have never been strangers to each other, its just not possible. how do I get rid of these obsessive thoughts, how do I finally heal my soul and spirit. This is so painful. my whole body is shut down, i cannot eat, i cannot sleep. I cannot do anything functionally. I just want to be in union and at peace with my other self. I know I must wait but it is genuinely so painful, it hurts so bad. I feel like I am losing my mind. please help, any thing is welcome.
submitted by pisces1115 to twinflames [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:27 OldMedium8246 Just spent the last hour sobbing
Holy god.
I’m 5 days postpartum and decided it would be a good idea to listen to the birth playlist I made while holding my baby. I didn’t think to play it during golden hour; my husband and I were just in awe and pure bliss. It was like nothing else existed the moment he was born.
I have never been so overwhelmed with emotion before. I thought I loved my husband before, but now I look at this beautiful being that we made together and it feels like my heart could burst with love. I look at my cats and cry because they were our babies before our baby, and I wish I could give them more of my time like before. I look at my baby boy and cry because he is literally the center of my universe now. I look at my husband sleeping and cry because he looks so peaceful and I’m so glad I can give him a bit of a break with how much heart and hard work he’s put into our family this week.
I’m sure I’ll look back on this and feel a bit insane. Hoping I’m not alone in how intense these emotions hit postpartum.
submitted by OldMedium8246 to beyondthebump [link] [comments]
I’m 5 days postpartum and decided it would be a good idea to listen to the birth playlist I made while holding my baby. I didn’t think to play it during golden hour; my husband and I were just in awe and pure bliss. It was like nothing else existed the moment he was born.
I have never been so overwhelmed with emotion before. I thought I loved my husband before, but now I look at this beautiful being that we made together and it feels like my heart could burst with love. I look at my cats and cry because they were our babies before our baby, and I wish I could give them more of my time like before. I look at my baby boy and cry because he is literally the center of my universe now. I look at my husband sleeping and cry because he looks so peaceful and I’m so glad I can give him a bit of a break with how much heart and hard work he’s put into our family this week.
I’m sure I’ll look back on this and feel a bit insane. Hoping I’m not alone in how intense these emotions hit postpartum.
2023.06.09 02:21 YukawaCattle [My Mister Fiction] A Peaceful Sleep Amidst Memories
![[My Mister Fiction] A Peaceful Sleep Amidst Memories](https://a.thumbs.redditmedia.com/LGCm4Rt0saubUi4b2KEeAJE_c87nueG9wBIBc7q78k0.jpg "[My Mister Fiction] A Peaceful Sleep Amidst Memories") | https://preview.redd.it/k5d2da18wv4b1.jpg?width=550&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d7b6cd83c48f1505dccea70c098b176f9557ce2 submitted by YukawaCattle to u/YukawaCattle [link] [comments] Lee Ji-an finished a long day of work and felt exhausted. She changed into comfortable clothes and casually tossed her work clothes on the sofa before lying on her bed, then staring at the ceiling. "I've worked so hard all day. I'm so tired," she muttered to herself, feeling the weight of fatigue. In the past, she used to close herself off emotionally, avoiding social interactions and not caring about what others thought of her. But after moving to Busan alone in an attempt to start a new life and forget the past, she decided to connect with people and make friends, which made her more sensitive to others' opinions. Although most of her colleagues at the company run by Chairman Chang's friend were friendly towards her, there were always some other people gossiping behind her back. They would whisper about her being an "airborne troop," someone who was hired without going through an interview process, and this constant criticism added to her stress. Some of her superiors and coworkers even intentionally made things difficult for her, dampening her mood. "(Sigh) Was the moment when I didn't care about connecting with people the better period?" She contemplated, feeling tempted to give up. Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind. "Why am I spending time reminiscing about the bad things? I obviously have some good things can think." She began to reflect. With her thoughts leaping, she started to recall her memories with Park Dong-hoon. She remembered their first encounter, feeling guilty for using him as part of her plan to repay her debt. "I feel so sorry for what I did," she felt regretful in her heart. Then, there was the period when she forced Park Dong-hoon to have meals with her. She remembered the look of resignation on his face. "What was he thinking at that time? And why did he continue to eat with me even after that?" Her mind was filled with questions. She recalled the moment when Park Dong-hoon complimented her as a "pretty girl," and she ran to have a beer with him. The image of the two of them holding their large unfinished beers and smiling at each other emerged in her mind. "That smile was so warm and sweet," she murmured to herself. She remembered that it was from that moment on that she completely fell in love with Park Dong-hoon. "Before that, I only had some slight feelings for him. That annoying Ahjussi..." A feeling of happiness surged within her. She smiled because of the sweet fluttering in her heart. Then, she lightly touched her lips with her fingers, recalling the night she kissed Park Dong-hoon. Although their contact was brief, it was enough to immerse her in the sensation of that moment. Then, she shook her head, turned over, and hugged her blanket. "I shouldn't have made such a move that made him uncomfortable. I shouldn't have done that," she sighed, realizing her mistake. Shifting her thoughts, she remembered how Park Dong-hoon took care of her and her grandmother. She recalled the moment when she and her grandmother returned from seeing the moon, and Park Dong-hoon waited for them at the same spot. She remembered her surprise, Park Dong-hoon's huge back when he carried her grandmother, and his words, "You're kind." “Ahjussi, you're kind, too. Grandma really liked you," Lee Ji-an softly spoke to the air, smiling. She gratefully remembered the food Park Dong-hoon had bought for her grandmother and the smile on her grandmother's face because the food was delicious. The delicious meat, the delicious chocolate cookies... Those chocolate cookies were still her favorite. It reminded her of the time in the nursing home when Park Dong-hoon shyly walked away because of her grandmother's gaze. Then she thought of her grandmother's final conversation with her. "You must pay him back. Be happy. That's how you can repay him." She remember her grandmother with hopeful eyes when she used sign language to say these words. Thinking of this, Lee Ji-an felt a surge of strength within her. She turned to the side and closed her eyes. "I wish you a good day, My Ahjussi." Lee Ji-an's heart settled down, gradually entering a peaceful sleep. With the company of her memories, she had a brief and beautiful dream, escaping from the various troubles at work. (End) |
2023.06.09 02:21 snootywiththebooty Am I Right to Stand My Ground on Incompetence?
Myself (26F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been together around 10 months now. This is his first relationship, and my fourth serious one. I have been in two abusive (one physically) relationships out of the three prior, and in all, have had to take on the mental burden, oftentimes “mothering” my boyfriends.
After my last relationship (an emotionally abusive one) ended at the start of 2020, I truly thought I would be alone forever. I lived alone happily and freely, and dated casually. I got very used to my own company and thrived.
For context, as a person, I can be stern. I often miss social cues and can struggle with direct empathy. If something doesn’t seem logical to me, I may not be the most empathetic. It is a flaw, but I am working on it. With that being said, I do not suffer fools gladly. After having been so free for two and a half years between my last relationship and this one, my level of tolerance for male ineptitude has shrunken to near-nil. Coupled with my (diagnosed) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and general neurosis, I live my life by a set of standards (cleanliness, and routines dictated by logic), and anyone that wants to be in my life must abide by them, particularly if they want to enter my home.
So I meet my boyfriend. Everything is great. He’s a genuinely kind, if somewhat sensitive guy. He has far lesser relationship experience than me and is eager to please - a far better man than any I have met before. However, he has been babied his entire life. Lived at home until meeting me, and still does. This has (I feel) led to a very frustrating lack of common sense and situational awareness, and at times, sheer thoughtlessness.
We have had many arguments and disagreements as a result (eg - sending him to grocery shop multiple times with lists, stating explicitly that he must use the list - after the two prior times he didn’t - and yet he still came home missing items). But with all these issues, after initial resistance on his part, he claims to see the error of his ways, usually apologises and (attempts to) change his behaviour.
The issue I come to you all with now, is being unsure whether I take everything a step too far. Tonight, he was closing my laptop and asked, “How do I turn this off?” - I immediately told him to open his eyes, think for a second, that he is not stupid and is more than capable of figuring out how to do it, given that he works with the operating system it uses, every day in his 9-5. An argument ensued, where he told me I am, “Always making a problem”, “Putting him down” and “Pushing him away”. He left to sleep in another room.
I can see where my approach can appear harsh, but as far as I am concerned, everything I said was correct. I have discussed with him on many an occasion the implications for women in taking on the “mental burden”. This includes when men expect women to do their thinking for them.
He will ask me questions OFTEN, that if he thought about himself for more than 2 seconds, he would have the answer to. It seems to me like he just wants me to do his thinking for him, and given that I already struggle with increasingly difficult OCD, and having him in my space alone is a huge mental task for me, these inane questions and expectations that I will micro-manage his life are, quite frankly, fucking insulting.
I do see that he is a brilliant partner elsewhere, and I know some will say that I should pick my battles, but as a woman who was more than happy alone, and already takes on a huge task in inviting another person into my carefully curated lifestyle, mitigating it as much as possible so as not to affect his lifestyle so hugely - I do not think that I should cave to the idea I am, “pushing him away”. If setting boundaries to ensure he is a functioning adult alongside me, and not some man-baby slowly depleting my mental reserves is considered “pushing him away”, then surely I’d be best to let him go. Or am I being too harsh? It should be mentioned that I do love him very much, and would be sad to lose him.
TLDR; My boyfriend has minimal experience in relationships. I find him to be kind and caring, but ultimately rather thoughtless and throughothe flippant. This doesn’t fit with my Type A personality. He claims my communication style is pushing him away. Want to know if I’m being too harsh
submitted by snootywiththebooty to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
After my last relationship (an emotionally abusive one) ended at the start of 2020, I truly thought I would be alone forever. I lived alone happily and freely, and dated casually. I got very used to my own company and thrived.
For context, as a person, I can be stern. I often miss social cues and can struggle with direct empathy. If something doesn’t seem logical to me, I may not be the most empathetic. It is a flaw, but I am working on it. With that being said, I do not suffer fools gladly. After having been so free for two and a half years between my last relationship and this one, my level of tolerance for male ineptitude has shrunken to near-nil. Coupled with my (diagnosed) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and general neurosis, I live my life by a set of standards (cleanliness, and routines dictated by logic), and anyone that wants to be in my life must abide by them, particularly if they want to enter my home.
So I meet my boyfriend. Everything is great. He’s a genuinely kind, if somewhat sensitive guy. He has far lesser relationship experience than me and is eager to please - a far better man than any I have met before. However, he has been babied his entire life. Lived at home until meeting me, and still does. This has (I feel) led to a very frustrating lack of common sense and situational awareness, and at times, sheer thoughtlessness.
We have had many arguments and disagreements as a result (eg - sending him to grocery shop multiple times with lists, stating explicitly that he must use the list - after the two prior times he didn’t - and yet he still came home missing items). But with all these issues, after initial resistance on his part, he claims to see the error of his ways, usually apologises and (attempts to) change his behaviour.
The issue I come to you all with now, is being unsure whether I take everything a step too far. Tonight, he was closing my laptop and asked, “How do I turn this off?” - I immediately told him to open his eyes, think for a second, that he is not stupid and is more than capable of figuring out how to do it, given that he works with the operating system it uses, every day in his 9-5. An argument ensued, where he told me I am, “Always making a problem”, “Putting him down” and “Pushing him away”. He left to sleep in another room.
I can see where my approach can appear harsh, but as far as I am concerned, everything I said was correct. I have discussed with him on many an occasion the implications for women in taking on the “mental burden”. This includes when men expect women to do their thinking for them.
He will ask me questions OFTEN, that if he thought about himself for more than 2 seconds, he would have the answer to. It seems to me like he just wants me to do his thinking for him, and given that I already struggle with increasingly difficult OCD, and having him in my space alone is a huge mental task for me, these inane questions and expectations that I will micro-manage his life are, quite frankly, fucking insulting.
I do see that he is a brilliant partner elsewhere, and I know some will say that I should pick my battles, but as a woman who was more than happy alone, and already takes on a huge task in inviting another person into my carefully curated lifestyle, mitigating it as much as possible so as not to affect his lifestyle so hugely - I do not think that I should cave to the idea I am, “pushing him away”. If setting boundaries to ensure he is a functioning adult alongside me, and not some man-baby slowly depleting my mental reserves is considered “pushing him away”, then surely I’d be best to let him go. Or am I being too harsh? It should be mentioned that I do love him very much, and would be sad to lose him.
TLDR; My boyfriend has minimal experience in relationships. I find him to be kind and caring, but ultimately rather thoughtless and throughothe flippant. This doesn’t fit with my Type A personality. He claims my communication style is pushing him away. Want to know if I’m being too harsh
2023.06.09 02:13 UsedFancyPants Believing in the Beauty of My Dreams
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams — Eleanor RooseveltI'm going to write this down, to make it more real. I'm going to take what's been slowly saturating in my mind and have it rain down.
I'm captive to my own demons, my lack of confidence, my belief that I don't deserve better. So, I'm going to chip away at my self-made prison starting today.
I'm going to accept that I deserve better. That I will receive better when I reach out to grasp it.
And what a future that will be.
I'll share my life with someone who cherishes my passion as much as I cherish hers. I'll experience the thrill of looking into the eyes of someone who welcomes the simple joy of slowly being undressed by someone else. I'll hear the soft moan of pleasure as I kiss her neck and shoulder. And I'll feel her grip my hair as I drop to my knees, right there, right where we are, to provide her the uninhibited bliss I so dearly want to give her.
It will be a future with easy hugs, given and received freely. Feet on my lap as we sit together. Foot massages given just because the day is over and it's just the two of us.
It's moaning, and creaking beds, and secret desires shared and explored.
But it's also her wrapping her arm around mine as we go for a walk. My hand in the small of her back. And genuine smiles when I walk in the door.
It's sex, yes. Fulfilling, passionate, loud, and messy. But welcomed. Shared. Cherished. But it's also her head on my shoulder after a hard day, and the quiet joy of making her laugh easier and more often than anyone else.
It's an ideal future, to be sure. But one worth fighting for.
2023.06.09 02:10 Pluto_heart AITA for choosing my mom over my husband’s family?
My husband and I have extremely busy schedules and occasionally when we have time, we visit our families for a week in our hometown. Our parents live 5 mins away from each other but could not be more different from each other. My husband is really close with his family and grew up with all his extended family around him. I grew up differently with all my family spread out and it’s just a much more complicated relationship. My parents are not thoughtful and I have to work much harder to maintain a close relationship with them even though I know they love me. They don’t plan things out and everything is last minute so it’s a constant struggle. My mother is very sensitive and is really struggling to feel chosen and often voices she feels we spend more time with his family. That being said, we do spend quite a bit more time with my in-laws even though we try our best to spread it evenly. With more people to see on his side, it takes up most of our time when we do go home. Not to mention, his parents visit us for weeks at a time throughout the year. His family plans events weeks in advance and post a Facebook event every-time they have a gathering so we have to commit or not and have evidence/reminders of said event. His family is extremely sweet and supportive; it’s always a pleasure to be with all his family and I genuinely enjoy spending time with them.
SO this upcoming week we have off, we are sleeping at his parent’s house all week and my mom will be alone at my house since my dad will be gone (and my family’s dog just died so she’s really feeling alone). My husband’s family planned a casual party for all his family to come over and see us at and even invited my mom to come as well. When they did this, I told my husband I’m hesitant to commit to anything as my mom is notorious for having last minute things pop up and then I have a terrible decision to make. My goal for this trip was to spend most of my time with her as she’s been through a lot this year with losing her mother and father. I asked my mom if we could commit to the party and she said yes. I just got a call from her saying there is an exclusive event with all my childhood friends and family friends that we are invited to. They opened two spots for us because they knew I was home! Anyways, I asked my mother-in-law if it would be okay if I left the party early to go to this event with my mom and she said it was no big deal and we will see everyone all week anyways. I told my husband and he completely flipped out calling me selfish for breaking my commitment. I miss my mom and family friends and just want to spend a few hours with them. But there will be some family members on my husbands side that we don’t normally see. I was feeling good about my decision until my husband blew up at me and now I feel awful for this choice. Am I the asshole for choosing my mom’s event over his family’s after I already said I would go?
submitted by Pluto_heart to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
SO this upcoming week we have off, we are sleeping at his parent’s house all week and my mom will be alone at my house since my dad will be gone (and my family’s dog just died so she’s really feeling alone). My husband’s family planned a casual party for all his family to come over and see us at and even invited my mom to come as well. When they did this, I told my husband I’m hesitant to commit to anything as my mom is notorious for having last minute things pop up and then I have a terrible decision to make. My goal for this trip was to spend most of my time with her as she’s been through a lot this year with losing her mother and father. I asked my mom if we could commit to the party and she said yes. I just got a call from her saying there is an exclusive event with all my childhood friends and family friends that we are invited to. They opened two spots for us because they knew I was home! Anyways, I asked my mother-in-law if it would be okay if I left the party early to go to this event with my mom and she said it was no big deal and we will see everyone all week anyways. I told my husband and he completely flipped out calling me selfish for breaking my commitment. I miss my mom and family friends and just want to spend a few hours with them. But there will be some family members on my husbands side that we don’t normally see. I was feeling good about my decision until my husband blew up at me and now I feel awful for this choice. Am I the asshole for choosing my mom’s event over his family’s after I already said I would go?
2023.06.09 02:09 Few_Flamingo5383 WIBTA for telling my best friends boyfriend she has cheated on him multiple times?
I (18F) am contemplating on telling my best friends (18F) boyfriend (20M) that she has cheated on him multiple times.
Now usually im a very loyal friend, and i always keep my word but this has gotten so out of hand that i genuinely feel sorry for my best friends (fake name: Hailey) boyfriend (fake name: Cole)
A little backstory: we're all in this friend group of about 20+ people who party and go to clubs together etc. Me and Hailey are the 'newest' in this group as i was dating a guy, from the group who introduced me the group. After i became friends with most of them i introduced Hailey to the group and we all hit it off really well. As the guy i was seeing and i ended things on good terms, which kept us in the group Hailey started seeing Cole. Cole and I were really good friends, prior to Hailey and Cole seeing each other which i believe was the thing that led them to date. From the get go this was a very toxic relationship.
After Cole and Hailey got into a relationship, Hailey started showing interest in MULTIPLE guys from the group, and even some other guys that were not part of this specific group. I warned her that she should stay faithful to Cole, as he is my friend and i do not want to see him get hurt as he as a really great guy.
To this day (they've been together for about 6 months ish) she has cheated on him more times than i can count, and she flirts with multiple guys on social media. She has gone as far as to having plans on sleeping with one of Coles best friends. There was a specific party where Hailey kissed two guys from the group, which Cole weirdly enough does not know about. Everyone knows, yet no one has told him as they dont want to see the group fall apart.
Me telling Cole about all of her unfaithfulness could lead to the group splitting apart, as she did kiss with two of the guys in the group. Honestly Cole might lose everything, his girlfriend, the group, his best friend. I will most certainly also lose my best friend. However Cole is such a nice guy and truly a really really great boyfriend as well, and my friend too. I feel so bad for him, and every time i think about all of the times she has cheated on him it makes me feel sick.
But i also feel like things have gotten so out of hand, that i can barely keep my mouth shut anymore, as i have also gathered photo, video and other evidence so Hailey cannot tell me that im full of sh*t and a liar which she will 100% try to do.
So WIBTA to tell him, and do i need to mind my own business or does he deserve to know, even though it will create CHAOS?
Side note: she is very manipulative, toxic and overall really mean towards Cole, but hes so blinded by her he either doesnt want or just cant see how toxic their relationship is.
submitted by Few_Flamingo5383 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Now usually im a very loyal friend, and i always keep my word but this has gotten so out of hand that i genuinely feel sorry for my best friends (fake name: Hailey) boyfriend (fake name: Cole)
A little backstory: we're all in this friend group of about 20+ people who party and go to clubs together etc. Me and Hailey are the 'newest' in this group as i was dating a guy, from the group who introduced me the group. After i became friends with most of them i introduced Hailey to the group and we all hit it off really well. As the guy i was seeing and i ended things on good terms, which kept us in the group Hailey started seeing Cole. Cole and I were really good friends, prior to Hailey and Cole seeing each other which i believe was the thing that led them to date. From the get go this was a very toxic relationship.
After Cole and Hailey got into a relationship, Hailey started showing interest in MULTIPLE guys from the group, and even some other guys that were not part of this specific group. I warned her that she should stay faithful to Cole, as he is my friend and i do not want to see him get hurt as he as a really great guy.
To this day (they've been together for about 6 months ish) she has cheated on him more times than i can count, and she flirts with multiple guys on social media. She has gone as far as to having plans on sleeping with one of Coles best friends. There was a specific party where Hailey kissed two guys from the group, which Cole weirdly enough does not know about. Everyone knows, yet no one has told him as they dont want to see the group fall apart.
Me telling Cole about all of her unfaithfulness could lead to the group splitting apart, as she did kiss with two of the guys in the group. Honestly Cole might lose everything, his girlfriend, the group, his best friend. I will most certainly also lose my best friend. However Cole is such a nice guy and truly a really really great boyfriend as well, and my friend too. I feel so bad for him, and every time i think about all of the times she has cheated on him it makes me feel sick.
But i also feel like things have gotten so out of hand, that i can barely keep my mouth shut anymore, as i have also gathered photo, video and other evidence so Hailey cannot tell me that im full of sh*t and a liar which she will 100% try to do.
So WIBTA to tell him, and do i need to mind my own business or does he deserve to know, even though it will create CHAOS?
Side note: she is very manipulative, toxic and overall really mean towards Cole, but hes so blinded by her he either doesnt want or just cant see how toxic their relationship is.
2023.06.09 02:00 IrateRapscallion [Displaced] - Chapter 127 Part 2
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* * *
Much like Arlette, Blake didn’t much care for Mizuko’s elf servant. The way she stared at him like he was lower than dirt disturbed him. She was doing just so right this moment while he tried to talk to her... employer? Superior? The particulars eluded him, but he had a feeling that the old woman wasn’t paying the elf much of anything for her loyalty, especially not right now. The Drayhadan—her name eluded him at the moment; Vara? Veri?—reminded her of Simona in a way, which was not a compliment. Really, what had past Blake been thinking? Sure the fervor and hero worship had carried some appeal for a time, but the longer things went, the more she clashed with the others. The woman could still turn the screws on foreign negotiators like nobody’s business, at least.
Blake sat down and removed his helmet. After hearing from Sofie that they’d finished the transcription, he’d given them a few hours to process everything and rest up before he swung by to visit. Now, sitting in the room he’d reserved for their use during the daytime, he grabbed a slice of fruit from a nearby bowl, took a bite, and mentally prepared himself for one of his all-time favorite activities: small talk.
“So, how are you liking your stay here so far?”
“Your hospitality is much appreciated,” the elderly woman replied. She looked rather weary—being around Sofie for an extended period would do that to anybody—and her left arm still hung in a sling, though it seemed that Arlette’s bandage sling had been replaced today with something more genuine. “Everyone has been quite kind.”
“That’s good to hear. Is the fortress to your liking? I hope you haven’t gotten lost; people find the layout confusing.”
“Your home is truly a bold statement. Sofie has been kind enough to show me around, so I have had no issues so far.”
“Good, good. I take it you’ve studied the material? What do you think?”
“I find your argument fairly compelling, in that it very well might be correct. However, I do not see what someone such as myself can do about it.”
“You still intend to travel, then?”
“When I decided to leave Drayhadal, I chose selfishness. I have lived my life in this world largely in service of others. Is it wrong to want something for myself for a time?”
Blake leaned back with a smirk. “Hey, you’re talking to somebody who has been called a ‘selfish asshole’ for his whole life and wears it proudly; I’d be a hypocrite if I said you shouldn’t look out for number one.” The smirk faded into a frown of concern and he took another bite. “Still, it does present a bit of a problem, given the situation. We don’t have the luxury to take things lightly.”
“I know. It burdens me, but if I do not consider my own desires now, I feel that I will never get another chance. I do not know what I could contribute to any of this, anyway. I am but an old woman.”
“You’re selling yourself short, and you know it. Besides, I think I have a solution that will fit us both rather nicely.”
Both Mizuko and the dour elf perked up at his statement.
“Before I arrived here, Otharia was a very insular society—perhaps even more insular than Drayhadal, from what I heard. Now that I’m here, we are less insular, but only barely. We still lack much of any presence outside our borders. We don’t even have ambassadors; all diplomatic conversations occur entirely by Many with people here in Wroetin. We need more direct and better communication, especially given our current goals.”
“You are asking me to fill this need?”
“Yes, a sort of roving ambassador position. You would speak for us as you travel around. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to steer clear of the capitals of the nations while you’re there, right? Wouldn’t want to miss out on all that history and culture and all that.”
“I am just a housewife. I could not possibly take on such a heavy responsibility,” Mizuko demurred. “Besides, I only arrived here a day ago. How could I represent a nation I know nothing about, not to mention my ignorance about the world as a whole?”
“Nonsense,” Blake replied, waving away her concerns. “You’re hands down the most dignified person here, and you have the manners, formality, and tact needed for this sort of thing. I mean, you could have just said you don’t like this place, but instead, you told me it was a ‘bold statement’. That’s absolutely the sort of diplomatic crap we need. Whatever you lack, you can pick up.”
The old woman thought it over for a moment, clearly not sold on the idea, so Blake chimed in again to sweeten the deal.
“Here’s what I can do for you. If you agree to take on this role, I’ll create for you a huge custom transport vehicle that will carry you wherever you want to go in complete comfort. I’m talking something so big that it will literally be a walking house, complete with a bedroom, living room, dining room, kitchen, you name it. Whatever you want, we can put it in there. We’ll deck it out in luxury, make it as cozy as can be—perhaps even put in an open top deck so you can get a nice, high view of the land as you go. We can even add in a bunch of defenses, just to be sure.
“Think about it. Every night, you can move your house away from people and sleep soundly, not having to worry about impacting others with your dreams. All while enjoying the best possible travel experience you could get on this world.”
That seemed to get her attention.
“And all you would require of me is to serve as your representative when I meet others in my travels?”
“Mostly. There are one or two other small things we’ll need you to do as you go.”
She frowned. “Name them.”
“First, we would ask you to keep an eye and ear out for any other possible people from Earth. Nobody knows just how many of us are here, and that’s a problem if we’re trying to get everybody out before we all go boom. If you do find anybody or even hints of somebody, help them out or pass the word along to me and we’ll take care of it.”
Mizuko nodded. “A fair request.”
“Second, we need you to go do some very specific sightseeing first, before you start meandering wherever your heart takes you. Now that you’re free, we’re gearing up next to rescue another one of us, this time in Stragma. We need to know the state of things there.”
The Drayhadan’s eyes went wide, and Blake could see that she was just barely holding herself back from objecting to the idea.
“You are asking me to be a spy?” the elderly woman questioned.
“No, no, a diplomat and tourist is all. What we need to know is how close they are to packing up and migrating from their spring city, where they are now, to their northern summer home. This dude’s situation isn’t like yours. You were out in the middle of nowhere, in open space, while he’s locked up and surrounded by guards in the middle of a city of millions. This is a legitimate rescue mission; everything we know about his situation says it’s not good. We think our best bet is to steal him away in the middle of the migration, which should be coming soon, but we’re not sure just when.
“All we need is for you to tell us what you find just by visiting the city. There should be signs all over; moving millions of people and property is not the sort of thing you can just keep under wraps. Besides, you’re going to want to tour Stragma anyway; it’s quite remarkable. Ruresni at night is almost surely the most beautiful sight in this world. I’m just asking you to move up to the first item on your bucket list, and to tell me what you see when you get there.”
“Would the Stragmans even welcome me to their land? I imagine they are still quite angry about me.”
“I’ve built up a lot of good will there, with helping the Chos’s crippled husband and all that, so as my representative, that should count for a lot,” Blake considered aloud. “More crucially, though, would they even know who you are? The way the others talk about the battle, nobody actually saw your face.”
The woman paused, surprised realization on her face. “I was inside the palanquin the whole time. I suppose there would be no reason for them to connect the two.”
“Heck, just make up a fake identity and introduce yourself to them as a totally different person. How would they even know?”
“You have a point,” she relented, “and it would feel nice to know that I am not leaving everything about this possible calamity to others. I will agree to your requests.”
“Excellent. How soon are you planning on leaving?”
“It will still be a few weeks,” she told him. “I would like to experience this land first, and I need time for my shoulder to heal before I go too far.”
“Plenty of time to get acquainted with Otharian then, and to learn what you need to know.”
“I suppose you are correct.”
Blake couldn’t help but grin. One more accomplishment on what was unexpectedly turning out to be a very productive day. “Well then, I’m glad we have a deal, Madam Ambassador.”
* * *
“Alright, kiddo. Today we finally get to start on something fun.”
Sam had done well with her studies. She’d been attentive, asked questions, and hadn’t been belligerent in a good while. Blake felt like it was time for a reward, something to catch her imagination. After all, from the start, he’d started teaching her with eventual practical applications in mind. He’d sworn, back then, that he’d show her the folly of her actions, and to do that, she needed more than abstract understanding. She needed to see the knowledge in action.
Blake grabbed a piece of chalk and began to draw on the chalkboard. First, he drew a rectangle. Then, he erased bits on several sides, replacing them with some other things: a zig-zagging diagonal line, two parallel lines perpendicular to the rectangle’s side, and a short line that veered away from the rectangle before terminating.
“This... is what is known as a ‘circuit’.”
submitted by IrateRapscallion to redditserials [link] [comments]
* * *
Much like Arlette, Blake didn’t much care for Mizuko’s elf servant. The way she stared at him like he was lower than dirt disturbed him. She was doing just so right this moment while he tried to talk to her... employer? Superior? The particulars eluded him, but he had a feeling that the old woman wasn’t paying the elf much of anything for her loyalty, especially not right now. The Drayhadan—her name eluded him at the moment; Vara? Veri?—reminded her of Simona in a way, which was not a compliment. Really, what had past Blake been thinking? Sure the fervor and hero worship had carried some appeal for a time, but the longer things went, the more she clashed with the others. The woman could still turn the screws on foreign negotiators like nobody’s business, at least.
Blake sat down and removed his helmet. After hearing from Sofie that they’d finished the transcription, he’d given them a few hours to process everything and rest up before he swung by to visit. Now, sitting in the room he’d reserved for their use during the daytime, he grabbed a slice of fruit from a nearby bowl, took a bite, and mentally prepared himself for one of his all-time favorite activities: small talk.
“So, how are you liking your stay here so far?”
“Your hospitality is much appreciated,” the elderly woman replied. She looked rather weary—being around Sofie for an extended period would do that to anybody—and her left arm still hung in a sling, though it seemed that Arlette’s bandage sling had been replaced today with something more genuine. “Everyone has been quite kind.”
“That’s good to hear. Is the fortress to your liking? I hope you haven’t gotten lost; people find the layout confusing.”
“Your home is truly a bold statement. Sofie has been kind enough to show me around, so I have had no issues so far.”
“Good, good. I take it you’ve studied the material? What do you think?”
“I find your argument fairly compelling, in that it very well might be correct. However, I do not see what someone such as myself can do about it.”
“You still intend to travel, then?”
“When I decided to leave Drayhadal, I chose selfishness. I have lived my life in this world largely in service of others. Is it wrong to want something for myself for a time?”
Blake leaned back with a smirk. “Hey, you’re talking to somebody who has been called a ‘selfish asshole’ for his whole life and wears it proudly; I’d be a hypocrite if I said you shouldn’t look out for number one.” The smirk faded into a frown of concern and he took another bite. “Still, it does present a bit of a problem, given the situation. We don’t have the luxury to take things lightly.”
“I know. It burdens me, but if I do not consider my own desires now, I feel that I will never get another chance. I do not know what I could contribute to any of this, anyway. I am but an old woman.”
“You’re selling yourself short, and you know it. Besides, I think I have a solution that will fit us both rather nicely.”
Both Mizuko and the dour elf perked up at his statement.
“Before I arrived here, Otharia was a very insular society—perhaps even more insular than Drayhadal, from what I heard. Now that I’m here, we are less insular, but only barely. We still lack much of any presence outside our borders. We don’t even have ambassadors; all diplomatic conversations occur entirely by Many with people here in Wroetin. We need more direct and better communication, especially given our current goals.”
“You are asking me to fill this need?”
“Yes, a sort of roving ambassador position. You would speak for us as you travel around. I mean, it’s not like you’re going to steer clear of the capitals of the nations while you’re there, right? Wouldn’t want to miss out on all that history and culture and all that.”
“I am just a housewife. I could not possibly take on such a heavy responsibility,” Mizuko demurred. “Besides, I only arrived here a day ago. How could I represent a nation I know nothing about, not to mention my ignorance about the world as a whole?”
“Nonsense,” Blake replied, waving away her concerns. “You’re hands down the most dignified person here, and you have the manners, formality, and tact needed for this sort of thing. I mean, you could have just said you don’t like this place, but instead, you told me it was a ‘bold statement’. That’s absolutely the sort of diplomatic crap we need. Whatever you lack, you can pick up.”
The old woman thought it over for a moment, clearly not sold on the idea, so Blake chimed in again to sweeten the deal.
“Here’s what I can do for you. If you agree to take on this role, I’ll create for you a huge custom transport vehicle that will carry you wherever you want to go in complete comfort. I’m talking something so big that it will literally be a walking house, complete with a bedroom, living room, dining room, kitchen, you name it. Whatever you want, we can put it in there. We’ll deck it out in luxury, make it as cozy as can be—perhaps even put in an open top deck so you can get a nice, high view of the land as you go. We can even add in a bunch of defenses, just to be sure.
“Think about it. Every night, you can move your house away from people and sleep soundly, not having to worry about impacting others with your dreams. All while enjoying the best possible travel experience you could get on this world.”
That seemed to get her attention.
“And all you would require of me is to serve as your representative when I meet others in my travels?”
“Mostly. There are one or two other small things we’ll need you to do as you go.”
She frowned. “Name them.”
“First, we would ask you to keep an eye and ear out for any other possible people from Earth. Nobody knows just how many of us are here, and that’s a problem if we’re trying to get everybody out before we all go boom. If you do find anybody or even hints of somebody, help them out or pass the word along to me and we’ll take care of it.”
Mizuko nodded. “A fair request.”
“Second, we need you to go do some very specific sightseeing first, before you start meandering wherever your heart takes you. Now that you’re free, we’re gearing up next to rescue another one of us, this time in Stragma. We need to know the state of things there.”
The Drayhadan’s eyes went wide, and Blake could see that she was just barely holding herself back from objecting to the idea.
“You are asking me to be a spy?” the elderly woman questioned.
“No, no, a diplomat and tourist is all. What we need to know is how close they are to packing up and migrating from their spring city, where they are now, to their northern summer home. This dude’s situation isn’t like yours. You were out in the middle of nowhere, in open space, while he’s locked up and surrounded by guards in the middle of a city of millions. This is a legitimate rescue mission; everything we know about his situation says it’s not good. We think our best bet is to steal him away in the middle of the migration, which should be coming soon, but we’re not sure just when.
“All we need is for you to tell us what you find just by visiting the city. There should be signs all over; moving millions of people and property is not the sort of thing you can just keep under wraps. Besides, you’re going to want to tour Stragma anyway; it’s quite remarkable. Ruresni at night is almost surely the most beautiful sight in this world. I’m just asking you to move up to the first item on your bucket list, and to tell me what you see when you get there.”
“Would the Stragmans even welcome me to their land? I imagine they are still quite angry about me.”
“I’ve built up a lot of good will there, with helping the Chos’s crippled husband and all that, so as my representative, that should count for a lot,” Blake considered aloud. “More crucially, though, would they even know who you are? The way the others talk about the battle, nobody actually saw your face.”
The woman paused, surprised realization on her face. “I was inside the palanquin the whole time. I suppose there would be no reason for them to connect the two.”
“Heck, just make up a fake identity and introduce yourself to them as a totally different person. How would they even know?”
“You have a point,” she relented, “and it would feel nice to know that I am not leaving everything about this possible calamity to others. I will agree to your requests.”
“Excellent. How soon are you planning on leaving?”
“It will still be a few weeks,” she told him. “I would like to experience this land first, and I need time for my shoulder to heal before I go too far.”
“Plenty of time to get acquainted with Otharian then, and to learn what you need to know.”
“I suppose you are correct.”
Blake couldn’t help but grin. One more accomplishment on what was unexpectedly turning out to be a very productive day. “Well then, I’m glad we have a deal, Madam Ambassador.”
* * *
“Alright, kiddo. Today we finally get to start on something fun.”
Sam had done well with her studies. She’d been attentive, asked questions, and hadn’t been belligerent in a good while. Blake felt like it was time for a reward, something to catch her imagination. After all, from the start, he’d started teaching her with eventual practical applications in mind. He’d sworn, back then, that he’d show her the folly of her actions, and to do that, she needed more than abstract understanding. She needed to see the knowledge in action.
Blake grabbed a piece of chalk and began to draw on the chalkboard. First, he drew a rectangle. Then, he erased bits on several sides, replacing them with some other things: a zig-zagging diagonal line, two parallel lines perpendicular to the rectangle’s side, and a short line that veered away from the rectangle before terminating.
“This... is what is known as a ‘circuit’.”
2023.06.09 01:59 Dungeon_Dice JoJo's Bizarre OC Tournament #6: Semifinal 2 - Errok vs Mx. Wah
Dédalo moved frantically around the control room, overturning rocks, checking behind the screen, looking for any kind of hidden button. “Ninian, are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me!”
“What do you want me to do, cut her out?!” Ninian gestured to the screen of Perdita’s face.
“There must be a button or lever somewhere here!” Dédalo snapped, refusing to believe there was nothing he could do to help Perdida’s predicament.
Perdida’s mind was occupied, having accessed the system and the dormant data stored in it. As she scanned through memories and visions, the relevant information unscrambled itself for her. Piece by piece, the memories played in series.
Her first memory, the birth of her artificial soul, heralded by the priests that created her as the greatest experiment they have succeeded in. “May the MAKS-0 bring peace to Pieduro forevermore!”
Next were the lives of the Piedurons she was tasked with maintaining peace over. Teaching the children how to use and play with their Temples responsibly, assisting the Piedurons through their everyday lives.
Then watching over the construction of the Ring, the key to unifying and connecting the use of all Temples to a single source.
Then the Piedurons slowly turned their attention to the world around them, visions of expanding past the island. With the construction of the Ring, they had the means of using their Temples much further beyond their island. Tools originally used to create were beginning to be seen as potential tools of destruction and oppression against adversaries. Visions of expansion and conquest filled the mind of a small, but growing population of Piedurons.
“War is not peace.”
“War goes against the idea of maintaining peace.”
“War can not happen if there are no Temples to fight with”
Pedida watched her original decision play out in; the construction of the Ring allowed her to shut down every single connected Temple. What happened after was a terrible oversight, the energy in each Temple overloaded rather than being simply shut down. The Ring that connected the Temples shared and distributed the energy of all temples between each other, but once disconnected they had no way to regulate the remaining excess energy.
The fallout wiped out the Piedurons as a civilization and destroyed the vast majority of Temples. The remaining few priests sealed Perdida away, and that was the last memory she could see in the database.
Perdida’s attention turned toward Electra and 2095, still fighting in the ring, using the carts to chase each other in a perpetual circle. The thought crept into Perdida’s mind; with the Ring under her control, she could turn off the Temples and stop the fight. She could prevent Temples from being used by the wrong hands.
No.
Perdida stopped herself. Not falling into the same logic that her previous self could not reason past. Her journey with Dédalo had allowed her to grow and understand, she would make a different choice this time.
The fight only took a bit longer to finish, the streaks of light made it difficult to tell what was happening, but the fight ended with a chain of explosions and both bodies falling out of their carts.
2095 falls to one knee, glare softening as Electra’s body goes limp while smoking from so many orb explosions. Her stare reaches thousands of yards, still processing her personal discovery before a speeding orb barely grazes her cheek and snaps her back. She sprints to the unconscious body and scoops her up, draping her over her back nestled underneath [Yours Truly] and holds the skater’s arms as she continues dodging to the best of her ability.
Her legacy wouldn’t end in this place, but neither would Electra’s.
Perdida opened a service door for 2095 to escape through, hoisting Electra over he shoulder. With a bit of guidance, 2095 made her way into the control room where they were now all gathered.
After getting everybody settled, Perdida managed to convince Dédalo that she was ok and relayed the story for the rest of them to hear.
“So I have a new plan. I figured out how to control the output of energy of each Temple to ensure that Temples can only be used when I allow them to be used…But in order to do that, I will have to stay within this mainframe.” Perdida looked toward Dédalo with a sad smile.
“Don’t worry Perdida, this will only be goodbye for now. I still have to find you a physical body after all.” Dédalo gave a warm chuckle as he walked up to the screen.
Dédalo pressed his hands against the screen and the image of Perdida pressed her hands against his. “We’ve learned a lot over the course of our journey. I’ll promise to tell you all about my next adventures when I get back.”
“...your mascara’s running.” Electra looked at a sniffling Ninian.
“It said it was waterproof, guess that was a fucking lie”; Ninian hide her face with her hands, quietly using Endless Rest to dry her face and fixed her make-up.
2095 looked on at the scene and ruminated on Perdida’s story. The similarities she shared with Perdida were not lost on her. Striving to become more than their programing, more than someone made to serve a higher purpose, but never losing sight of the joy of collaboration and connections to others. 2095 put a hand over her chest, she herself had also come a long way to be here hasn’t she.
To Be Continued…
Scenario: Sliema, Malta — 8:00 PM
On the island of Malta, in the center of one of its busiest cities, was a building. A decrepit, abandoned building, rusted and cast in reddish shadow by the taller structures that surrounded it. It was once an apartment building, but it had long since lost that use.
The rest of the city was filled with noise. Screaming, car alarms and barking dogs. But around here, where no one bothered to come around, it was quiet. Butterflies dotted the railings of the building, watching. Waiting for something to come. Not like the people inside could stand guard, with the boards over the windows. Still, they didn’t seem very concerned about the state of things.
“I was expecting to be impressed when you said you got a new place to stay, but this...” Ninian stared at the walls of Mari’s room, trying her best not to wince. They weren’t really in the best shape. Nothing here seemed to be, really, aside from the extremely comfortable bed she was taking a seat on. She turned to stare at Mari. “Shouldn’t you clean up a little? I bet it could use a new paint job, at least.”
“Geh. I don’t have time for painting.” Mari clacked away on her computer, hunched over in a garish (but surprisingly comfortable) gaming chair. Alarmingly loud EDM blared from the cat-ear headphones hanging around her neck. “Do you know how many things I would have to unplug to do that? It’s impractical.”
She gestured to the mass of wires emerging from her computer setup. Indeed, it’d be pretty difficult to move that around. Mari sat in front of a large array of computer monitors hung from the wall, all different shapes and sizes, all displaying different things. She swapped from keyboard to keyboard, not even taking the time to look at Ninian as she spoke.
“Besides, it’s better for me if my place looks like shit. Better that it doesn’t look like anybody lives here, right?”
“That only really matters on the outside...” Ninian sighed. “You could at least get some lights.”
“The screens are enough light.”
“...I suppose.”
The two sat in silence for a moment. Ninian turned to stare at the other person in the room; Nadine Sokenna laid on the other side of the bed, fast asleep. “I’m glad the two of you are doing alright.”
“Mmm.” Mari grinned. “Me too.” She exhaled, finally finishing whatever business she was handling on the computer and spinning the chair around to face the bed. The short shorts, thick blanket, and extremely oversized Hatsune Miku shirt she wore certainly weren’t that flattering, but at least her hair finally looked pretty nice. The bags under her eyes weren’t quite gone, but they seemed to glimmer with newfound lust for life.
She looked happy. That wasn’t something Ninian had been able to say about her before.
“I take it work’s been good?”
“Mmm!” Mari gestured widely to the screens behind her. “It’s an age of information, Ninian! No better time to be an info broker! Business is booming! Ehyeheheh!”
The swordswoman chuckled at that. She was silent for a moment, her smile turning into a frown, her eyes narrowing.
“Anyway... I assume you didn’t call me here just to talk.”
“Huh?” Mari tilted her head to the side. “Whaddya mean?”
“Well, you called me to deal with ‘that’, right?” She pointed up. “Truth be told, my schedule’s really packed right now, and I’m not sure how much I can do-”
“Oh, no, that’s not it at all.”
“Huh?”
“I just wanted you around.” She shrugged. “It’s a bit tough to relax right now. Super hard! Having big strong Ninian around makes me feel a little better. Ehe.” She was visibly blushing. “S-Sorry if that’s stupid, but I figured you’d like to catch up anyway.”
Ninian paused. “...So if you didn’t bring me here to, uh, deal with ‘that’... Are you just leaving that be?”
“Ah?”
“I mean, it’s kind of a problem for you, isn’t it? Doesn’t seem too convenient to leave it be...”
“Well, the plan was to leave it.” Mari shrugged. “But I got a bit lucky.”
“You invited me here... Just to sit around and chat while someone else does all the work?” The swordswoman raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. “As I said, I’ve got a packed schedule-”
“Nah, trust me.” The info broker snickered, spinning around in her chair as she spoke. “Youuuu... Are really gonna wanna see this one. I got somebody totally wild to help out.”
Ninian scoffed.
“Okay... And who would that be?” She tilted her head to the side. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
“You’re not gonna believe this one...” Mari cleared her throat. “I called in -”
*Scenario: A lonely boat, on the Mediterranean Sea — *
Wah watched the sun bob on the edge of the horizon. Their hair billowed in the wind, and seafoam sprinkled their face; they didn’t particularly seem to mind. Considering all they’d done with their ability, being on a speeding boat was probably the last thing to phase them; they’d just wrapped up a fight in a walking house, after all.
They stood in silence, a light smile on their face, eyes pleasantly half lidded. There was pleasure to be found in the small things. The sunset on the open sea, for one, was quite nice. Indeed, despite all the troubles it would no doubt cause, COLOSSI's shift to humanitarian aid was doing wonders for their mental. Now if only Solsbury and the rest of them would stop nagging...
But now wasn’t the time to worry about that. Nay, there were far more important matters. Wah pushed themself off of the boat’s railing, moving towards the driver's seat of the boat. It wasn’t a big boat; probably just used for leisure, but the owner had been nice enough to give them a ride.
A large sum of money was involved, of course, but that was neither here nor there.
“Oh, cappy-tan!” Wah leaned on the side of the boat behind the driver’s seat. A balding, sun-tanned man chuckled at the name. He wasn’t really much of a captain, but he did like to feel important.
“Howst long does thou think it will be before we arrive?” Wah tapped on the side of the boat a few times. “Wah has places to be, you see! Tis of utmost importance that I arrive quickly! Utmost! You understand, yes?”
“Yeah, yeah, I getcha...” The boater sighed. “It’ll be about ten minutes... Honestly, I don’t get why you’re in such a hurry to get there, anyway. Everybody else seems to be clearin’ out.”
“Oho?” Wah raised an eyebrow. They lowered it, and raised the other one, performing what could perhaps be called an ‘eyebrow wiggle’. “And why is that?”
“Dunno. Nobody’s said much, and everything they’ve said hasn’t been too, er, what’s the word...”
“Comprehensible?”
“Yeah. That one.”
“Wah sees, Wah sees!” Wah nodded a few times, bouncing off of the boat’s side and meandering back to the front, wobbling from side to side as the vessel rocked. “From what Wah understands, it’s quite a situation out there! No normal soul would find it any sort of comprehensible. A true predicament... And that is why Wah must go. To assist poor souls who cannot assist themselves! This predicament falls within Wah’s expertise, you see.”
“...Right.”
“Mmm!”
“Ain’t you just a normal soul, too? ‘Sides the ears, you don’t look all that special. Kinda twiggy.”
Wah paused. In the past, being called ‘kinda twiggy’ would’ve surely resulted in a violent tirade. But those were the demons they swore to leave behind speaking. Now, without them, Wah simply laughed. “Nay! Twiggy as Wah may be, you can rest assured, fine citizen!”
They turned, the boater catching the briefest glimmer in their eye. “Wah’s soul is the furthest from ordinary one could possibly get.”
“...If you say so...” He turned his attention back towards driving, and Wah turned theirs to the open sea once more.
Eventually, land came into view. The boater looked upon Malta with some confusion. Everything in the distance seemed perfectly normal. Wah, on the other hand, seemed extremely focused on something in the sky, something the poor man couldn’t seem to find no matter how hard he squinted.
“No need to make it all the way to the island.” Wah’s frown felt out of place on such a naturally silly face. “Park the boat near here. Wah can go the rest of the distances Wahself.”
“Ah..? It’s pretty far from here, though-”
“Verily! But it is nothing Wah cannot handle!” They snapped their fingers, jumping on top of the boat’s front railing, almost seeming to glide.
“Say, Cappy-tan! Have you ever seen a magician at work?”
Ninian gaped. “You... You called in... The head of COLOSSI?”
“...That’s what I said, yes.”
“Whuh...” Ninian frowned. “You’re fucking with me.”
“I’m not.”
“You so are.”
“I’m not! You underestimate the greatest info broker on the planet, my dear Ninian!” Mari jabbed a thumb into her chest as she gloated. “With my Stand ability: ｢Today is a Beautiful Day｣, my surveillance is simply unmatched! You see, the pins that make up my ability, when thrice jabbed into something, create a ‘butterfly within a frame’, but that’s only the basest applic-”
“I know what it does, Mari.” The swordswoman’s confusion briefly made way for the usual moodiness. If you let Mari start, you’d never get her to stop, after all. “I’m more... I mean, how did you even...?”
“I heard through the grapevine, as it were, that COLOSSI was making some big changes. All just rumors of course, so take that all with a grain of salt. But word out there is that their boss has gone completely mad! They’re big into justice and stuff now! Something like that. So I tracked them down, used my butterflies to establish communication, and made them a deal they simply couldn’t refuse.”
“And what could you possibly have to offer someone like that?”
“Information is the new money, Ninian.” Mari chuckled, staring at the wall of her room. “It didn’t take much. I just told them... I knew where a certain someone they quite liked was, and if they took care of my business, I’d sell ‘em the info for free.”
Ninian, after a few moments of stunned silence, simply sighed, scratching the back of her head. She smirked.
“...And you’re absolutely not fucking with me.”
“Aw, c’mon.” She chuckled again, turning her attention back to Ninian. “Have some faith in your best friend, will you? Just sit back and watch.” She raised a thumbs up, grinning from ear to ear. “I don’t have to do any work at all today! As long as no complications arise, it’s as good as dealt with! Wa ha ha!”
Elsewhere, in Sliema, a complication arose.
His name was Errok, and for once, he felt a bit too awestruck to open his mouth.
As rare of an occurrence as this was, most of his brain power was dedicated solely to figuring out what exactly he was looking at. After a large amount of deducing and such, he eventually came to the simple conclusion that he had no idea.
It’s not like anyone else who could see it, though. You couldn’t even see all of it. Only sections, massive spherical tubes of undulating red poking out from the cloudy sky, constantly moving ever so slowly. The wind whipped through his greasy hair as his eyes, wider than they’d been in years, observed what could only be described as a massive, floating worm, made entirely of bright red strings.
Now that he had given up entirely on trying to figure out what the thing was, Errok could dedicate his incredible intellect to other thought processes. Eventually, he arrived at a conclusion, one that was without a doubt something only someone as academically gifted as him could come up with.
“That thing is going to be my horse.”
Indeed, using whatever that was as a noble steed was the only logical idea. Wherever a powerful being resided, there too was opportunity to be found. And as a self proclaimed ‘Weapon To Kill The Soul’, there was surely no beast he could not tame.
He spent the next few minutes idly chuckling to himself.
It felt a bit off, admittedly. The city was pretty empty. The chaos caused by the thing no doubt led to a mass evacuation; he could tell from the buildings that had collapsed around him that it’d done quite a number on the place. Occasionally he’d hear someone screaming for help or something, but he couldn’t figure out where that was coming from, so he didn’t bother. But not having someone to monologue to felt strange. This was the part where he bragged about his incredible plan to some oafish bystander! Where were the oafish bystanders!
“I suppose...I could talk to myself.”
He nodded a few times. An excellent idea.
“Yes! This’ll do just fine. I can just talk to myself! Ha!”
Errok marched forward, a pep in his step that made his gait particularly loud.
“Now then... Clearly, the right answer... is to elevate myself! Aha! Yes!” He looked around at his surroundings. The stairs inside the buildings probably weren’t reliable, even if he could fit through the doors.
“No matter! I’ll just, uh, hrnmm...” He stared at a nearby building. It was pretty tall. “Well, I guess I could climb up that.”
“AHA! With my incredible strength, I’ll climb this building! That’s what I’ll do!”
His head swiveled around: still nobody around. He sighed, though you wouldn’t have been able to hear it from within the helmet, and began his ascent. With a grin, he unearthed the grotesque arm that was ｢You Are Blood｣ from its gauntlet. The arm shot forth, worms spraying from the mottled surface. Yes, they would be his ideal audience. He cleared his throat a few times.
“All living things tremble at the sight of Errok, Apostle of Rot, Destroyer of Souls! I need no weapon, for I am the blade which cleaves life itself!” His body shot forward with a cacophony of clanking, as he howled along with another bout of laughter.
“The world is my, uh, whetstone! I shall sharpen my blade on each fallen fool that tries to stop me, and become a better knight, a better god, a better trickster, than all those fools that I’ve destroyed!”
Hitting the side of the structure with a clatter, Errok stuck his sword into the side of the building. Again, his arm lashed out to grasp the next floor of the building, before yanking himself outwards. This cycle repeated itself, floor by floor, as Errok launched himself higher and higher towards the heavens, and towards the worm that would become his knightly steed.
“Then, when I have conquered all of life and every soul with the absolute, supreme power of rot and decay, then!”
With one last pull, Errok ascended into the air, his massive form silhouetted by the sun. “Then, I will finally tear that flamboyant freak a new one!”
With a CRASH, Errok landed on the roof of the building as it cracked around him. He gave a clumsy flourish to his wormy audience, grinning with menace and delight.
…and received a slow clap in return. Looking around in confusion, as worms do not have hands, Errok’s eyes fell upon the environment around him. The sun was slowly making its way towards the horizon line, casting the ruined skyline of Sliema in shadow, a golden light shining through gray clouds. It was absolutely beautiful; anyone with any sort of care for the world around them would simply have to stop and admire the view.
Errok didn’t have any of that. He was far more concerned with something else, as you’d expect. There on the roof stood another figure, a fae-like being with pale hair, pointed ears and teeth, and gleaming eyes.
“Oh hey,” Errok greeted, pointing with the finger of ｢You Are Blood｣. “Do I know you from somewhere? Might’ve seen you at the races... You look pretty important, though! I bet you’re super important! As am I! Pleasure to meet you!”
Wah just stopped clapping, giving Errok a look. Their nose wrinkled. “Wah is…charmed.”
Not picking up on the sarcasm, Errok beamed.
“Of course you are! I’m sure that you’ve heard about me! Errok, Apostle of Rot! I’ve committed more sins than one could possibly imagine! I’ve conquered all sorts of bozos and losers to get here! And now that I’m here, I’m gonna ride! That! Worm! Oh yeah!!!”
“…Uh huh,” Wah hummed, clearly not listening as they peered up at the worm. “There isn’t really much time for jokes right now, so-“
Suddenly, Wah stopped speaking. Errok stared at them for a few seconds. “...You gonna finish that sentence, or-”
“Shut up.”
The “Apostle of Rot” was fully prepared to go off on yet another monologue, but at that moment he thought to maybe see what exactly this mysterious weirdo stared so intensely at. He turned his gaze to the sky, and his eyes widened.
The clouds that obscured the form of the worm had split, only slightly, and something had descended from the hole produced. It was small, so it was a bit difficult to make it out at first, but if he squinted really hard, he could begin to see the silhouette of a young girl, holding loosely onto a balloon.
“Eugh.” He spat. “Hate kids.”
The figure was silent until it landed, never quite touching the ground. It wore a soft expression; a pure white girl, with a sundress that fluttered in the wind. The string in her hand led to a red balloon, just as red as the pupils concealed in her thin eyes. On the surface, she looked human, but just by looking at her you could tell that it was no human being. The way it seemed to lightly pulsate, skin forming briefly into strings that wrap endlessly around each other.
She smiled upon the two of them. It was not a friendly smile.
“Good evening, you two.” She raised her hands to the two of them. “Wah-Chan, leader of COLOSSI, overlord of the criminal underground the world over... And... Errok...San...”
“Hey. Wait.” Errok raised his hand. He turned to Wah. “That’s who you were? Oh, man, I’m a big fan of your-”
“Tell me. Do you know what ‘time’ it is?”
Errok stifled. He didn’t like this lady very much.
“8:01 PM, is it not?” Wah rudely ignored Errok’s plight. “What’s it matter.”
“Not quite what I meant. It’s almost the ‘Golden Hour’.” She chuckled. “The ‘Golden Hour’, as it’s called, is the most beautiful part of the day. It occurs in the last hour before sunset, and the hour directly before sunrise. It usually lasts only twenty to thirty minutes, but those twenty to thirty minutes are incomparable. Truly, there is beauty in the world.”
SIlence. Neither Errok nor Wah could figure out how to respond to that. Right as Errok was about to open his mouth anyway, the girl continued.
“If you couldn’t tell, ‘Golden Hour’ is about to start, in about two minutes, give or take. I only found this out recently. You see, I have lived my recent life in someone else’s eyes. I’ve never had the chance to learn about the world on my own. I was only recently able to learn about things on my own time, rather than on someone else’s. There was so much I was denied a chance to see. Do you know how cruel that is? Most of the knowledge I’ve gathered... Is completely useless to me now.”
She pointed at Wah. “Did you know that the Monogatari anime being released out of order was originally completely unintended?”
Silence.
“Exactly!” In her first showing of genuine emotion, the girl threw her hands into the air. Her voice remained perfectly monotone. “There’s no reason for me to know that information, either. But instead of important things, I’ve only been shown information like that. My brain, despite being far superior to that of a human being, is filled with useless information that serves no purpose to me. Do you know what it’s like? Having a vessel that doesn’t care for you? Even after all the work I went through to make her do what I wanted, she refused to show me anything worthwhile. I had to learn about things such as the ‘Golden Hour’ myself. Isn’t that cruel?”
“Excuse me, but-”
“But anyway, back to the ‘Golden Hour’. It is frequently utilized by film mak-”
“Stop fucking doing that!” Errok slammed his boot into the ground, producing a loud clang that finally managed to silence the mystery girl. He huffed and puffed for a few seconds before clearing his throat and continuing. “What’s the point of talking to us about any of this? You just prattle on, and on, and on, without any purpose to it! You’re annoying! What’s your deal!”
“There is no point.”
“What?”
“There’s no point, really. I’m just making small talk.” The girl looked over her nails. “Human beings engage in ‘conversation’ to gain a grasp of each other’s personalities. To establish who is worthwhile to have around, and who is not. I simply wanted to do the same. While I’m in this form, I may as well play at humanity.”
“Anywho, from our conversation—” Errok scoffed. “—I have deduced something. You see, I was originally planning to take the ‘strings’ of every Stand user in the world, taking their abilities and adding to my own power. But I have unfortunately vastly underestimated how many Stand users are in the world. Frankly, it would be a lot of work to do myself. So I’ve decided to take on another vessel. Someone far more suited for this kind of work, and who will show me plenty of things.”
“Wah-Chan.” Wah rolled their eyes at that. “From this conversation, I have deduced that you are patient, calm, and rational. From observing the work of your organization, I can come to the conclusion that you are cruel and calculating. My name is Disappearance Addiction. I am the strongest ‘Miracle’ currently present in the world. And I would like for you to become my new vessel.”
“No thankies.”
“...”
“...What?”
“Wah doesn’t really care for that sort of thing.” Wah shrugged. “You seem annoying to have around. Wah actually came here to get rid of you, to be honest. ‘Tis my duty! Wah is on the side of justice, now, as is COLOSSI as a whole! It would be immoral to take the power of something like you.”
“You would refuse the power of a ‘Miracle’?”
“Wah doesn’t know what that is.”
Disappearance Addiction seemed well and truly stumped at that. Eventually, her head began to turn, slowly, as if she was afraid of what her gaze would land on.
“Errok... San...”
“Yeah?”
“You... Would you like... Power?”
“That’s the first interesting thing you’ve said all day.” Errok nodded. “Fuck me up, lady.”
“...You’re not going to think it over, or anything?”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure?”
“Can you just give it to me already? C’mon.”
“...” Disappearance Addiction was silent for a few moments. On one hand, this guy smelled very bad. He was incredibly impatient. And he generally seemed like a big idiot. On the other hand, he did scale the building pretty easily...
“Alright.” She sighed. “I’ve come to a decision. Errok-San. If you kill Wah-Chan before the ‘Golden Hour’ ends, you may become my vessel. Does that satisfy you?”
“How long till Goldy Hour ends?”
“Twenty to thirty minutes.”
“Ha!” Errok unsheathed his sword and swung it onto his shoulder. “I’ll end it in three!” He smirked beneath his armor, pointing his massive blade at Wah. “You there! Wah! Leader of COLOSSI, was it?”
“...That is me, yes.”
“Get ready for the fight of your life, bub! After I kill you, I’m gonna be the boss of COLOSSI! I’ll be on top of the world! God King Errok! Everyone’ll bow to me! That kinda power ain’t something a little pacifist baby face like you’s worthy of having! So I’ll just take it right out of your hands! Ha ha ha! Thinking about it really amps me up! Oh, man!”
He paused, staring at Wah.
“I was really expecting you to cut me off there. It’s been happening all day. You just gonna sit there?”
Wah’s brow furrowed.
“Tell me...” They stepped forward, the dust around them kicking into the air, beginning to circle around them. “...Do you honestly believe... That you can beat me? Is that something... You think you’re capable of?”
“Course it is. I’m a weapon to kill the soul.”
“Hmph.” Wah sighed. “So be it.”
Disappearance Addiction smiled upon the two as she rose further into the air, wind whipping through her hair. A golden glow illuminated the cityscape, the sun reaching its final moments in the sky. “I feel like... I should say something here...Ah, that’s it!
In the city of Sliema, Malta, currently with thick strings hanging overhead.
The area here is 32 by 40 meters with each tile being 2 by 2 meters. Wah and Errok start on top of buildings, as represented by their character tokens.
The yellow rectangles are clay buildings, each numbered to represent their elevation level.The (1) marked buildings are 5 meters tall, the ones marked with a (2) are 10 meters tall, and the ones marked with a (3) are 15 meters tall.
The White Rectangles are Laundry racks with nearby baskets, folding chairs, cleaned clothing, and towels.
The Green Circles are palm trees that are 20 meters tall.
The Magenta Lines across the map are Strings produced by Disappearance Addiction and are attached to the buildings and trees. These strings are thick enough to balance on and have B Durability.
The brown rectangles are wooden benches. The blue circles are fountains.
Goal: RETIRE your opponent!
Additional Information:
Players are not allowed to enter the buildings for the purposes of this match and will be Retired if they are unable or unwilling to leave the “out of bounds area”
There is enough space between buildings for either player to move through the alleyways
Wah starts next to a large umbrella with a hooked handle, a portable grill, and a cushioned lawn chair
Link to Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!
submitted by Dungeon_Dice to StardustCrusaders [link] [comments]
“What do you want me to do, cut her out?!” Ninian gestured to the screen of Perdita’s face.
“There must be a button or lever somewhere here!” Dédalo snapped, refusing to believe there was nothing he could do to help Perdida’s predicament.
Perdida’s mind was occupied, having accessed the system and the dormant data stored in it. As she scanned through memories and visions, the relevant information unscrambled itself for her. Piece by piece, the memories played in series.
Her first memory, the birth of her artificial soul, heralded by the priests that created her as the greatest experiment they have succeeded in. “May the MAKS-0 bring peace to Pieduro forevermore!”
Next were the lives of the Piedurons she was tasked with maintaining peace over. Teaching the children how to use and play with their Temples responsibly, assisting the Piedurons through their everyday lives.
Then watching over the construction of the Ring, the key to unifying and connecting the use of all Temples to a single source.
Then the Piedurons slowly turned their attention to the world around them, visions of expanding past the island. With the construction of the Ring, they had the means of using their Temples much further beyond their island. Tools originally used to create were beginning to be seen as potential tools of destruction and oppression against adversaries. Visions of expansion and conquest filled the mind of a small, but growing population of Piedurons.
“War is not peace.”
“War goes against the idea of maintaining peace.”
“War can not happen if there are no Temples to fight with”
Pedida watched her original decision play out in; the construction of the Ring allowed her to shut down every single connected Temple. What happened after was a terrible oversight, the energy in each Temple overloaded rather than being simply shut down. The Ring that connected the Temples shared and distributed the energy of all temples between each other, but once disconnected they had no way to regulate the remaining excess energy.
The fallout wiped out the Piedurons as a civilization and destroyed the vast majority of Temples. The remaining few priests sealed Perdida away, and that was the last memory she could see in the database.
Perdida’s attention turned toward Electra and 2095, still fighting in the ring, using the carts to chase each other in a perpetual circle. The thought crept into Perdida’s mind; with the Ring under her control, she could turn off the Temples and stop the fight. She could prevent Temples from being used by the wrong hands.
No.
Perdida stopped herself. Not falling into the same logic that her previous self could not reason past. Her journey with Dédalo had allowed her to grow and understand, she would make a different choice this time.
The fight only took a bit longer to finish, the streaks of light made it difficult to tell what was happening, but the fight ended with a chain of explosions and both bodies falling out of their carts.
2095 falls to one knee, glare softening as Electra’s body goes limp while smoking from so many orb explosions. Her stare reaches thousands of yards, still processing her personal discovery before a speeding orb barely grazes her cheek and snaps her back. She sprints to the unconscious body and scoops her up, draping her over her back nestled underneath [Yours Truly] and holds the skater’s arms as she continues dodging to the best of her ability.
Her legacy wouldn’t end in this place, but neither would Electra’s.
2095, with a score of 76 to Electra’s 59!
| Category | Winner | Point Totals | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|
| Popularity | 2095 | 20 (6.5+2) - 10 (4.5+2) | |
| Quality | 2095 | 25 (8-9-8) - 18 (6-6-6) | Reasoning |
| JoJolity | Tie | 21 (7-7-7)- 21 (7-7-7) | Reasoning |
| Conduct | Tie | 10-10 | Nothing to report! |
After getting everybody settled, Perdida managed to convince Dédalo that she was ok and relayed the story for the rest of them to hear.
“So I have a new plan. I figured out how to control the output of energy of each Temple to ensure that Temples can only be used when I allow them to be used…But in order to do that, I will have to stay within this mainframe.” Perdida looked toward Dédalo with a sad smile.
“Don’t worry Perdida, this will only be goodbye for now. I still have to find you a physical body after all.” Dédalo gave a warm chuckle as he walked up to the screen.
Dédalo pressed his hands against the screen and the image of Perdida pressed her hands against his. “We’ve learned a lot over the course of our journey. I’ll promise to tell you all about my next adventures when I get back.”
“...your mascara’s running.” Electra looked at a sniffling Ninian.
“It said it was waterproof, guess that was a fucking lie”; Ninian hide her face with her hands, quietly using Endless Rest to dry her face and fixed her make-up.
2095 looked on at the scene and ruminated on Perdida’s story. The similarities she shared with Perdida were not lost on her. Striving to become more than their programing, more than someone made to serve a higher purpose, but never losing sight of the joy of collaboration and connections to others. 2095 put a hand over her chest, she herself had also come a long way to be here hasn’t she.
To Be Continued…
On the island of Malta, in the center of one of its busiest cities, was a building. A decrepit, abandoned building, rusted and cast in reddish shadow by the taller structures that surrounded it. It was once an apartment building, but it had long since lost that use.
The rest of the city was filled with noise. Screaming, car alarms and barking dogs. But around here, where no one bothered to come around, it was quiet. Butterflies dotted the railings of the building, watching. Waiting for something to come. Not like the people inside could stand guard, with the boards over the windows. Still, they didn’t seem very concerned about the state of things.
“I was expecting to be impressed when you said you got a new place to stay, but this...” Ninian stared at the walls of Mari’s room, trying her best not to wince. They weren’t really in the best shape. Nothing here seemed to be, really, aside from the extremely comfortable bed she was taking a seat on. She turned to stare at Mari. “Shouldn’t you clean up a little? I bet it could use a new paint job, at least.”
“Geh. I don’t have time for painting.” Mari clacked away on her computer, hunched over in a garish (but surprisingly comfortable) gaming chair. Alarmingly loud EDM blared from the cat-ear headphones hanging around her neck. “Do you know how many things I would have to unplug to do that? It’s impractical.”
She gestured to the mass of wires emerging from her computer setup. Indeed, it’d be pretty difficult to move that around. Mari sat in front of a large array of computer monitors hung from the wall, all different shapes and sizes, all displaying different things. She swapped from keyboard to keyboard, not even taking the time to look at Ninian as she spoke.
“Besides, it’s better for me if my place looks like shit. Better that it doesn’t look like anybody lives here, right?”
“That only really matters on the outside...” Ninian sighed. “You could at least get some lights.”
“The screens are enough light.”
“...I suppose.”
The two sat in silence for a moment. Ninian turned to stare at the other person in the room; Nadine Sokenna laid on the other side of the bed, fast asleep. “I’m glad the two of you are doing alright.”
“Mmm.” Mari grinned. “Me too.” She exhaled, finally finishing whatever business she was handling on the computer and spinning the chair around to face the bed. The short shorts, thick blanket, and extremely oversized Hatsune Miku shirt she wore certainly weren’t that flattering, but at least her hair finally looked pretty nice. The bags under her eyes weren’t quite gone, but they seemed to glimmer with newfound lust for life.
She looked happy. That wasn’t something Ninian had been able to say about her before.
“I take it work’s been good?”
“Mmm!” Mari gestured widely to the screens behind her. “It’s an age of information, Ninian! No better time to be an info broker! Business is booming! Ehyeheheh!”
The swordswoman chuckled at that. She was silent for a moment, her smile turning into a frown, her eyes narrowing.
“Anyway... I assume you didn’t call me here just to talk.”
“Huh?” Mari tilted her head to the side. “Whaddya mean?”
“Well, you called me to deal with ‘that’, right?” She pointed up. “Truth be told, my schedule’s really packed right now, and I’m not sure how much I can do-”
“Oh, no, that’s not it at all.”
“Huh?”
“I just wanted you around.” She shrugged. “It’s a bit tough to relax right now. Super hard! Having big strong Ninian around makes me feel a little better. Ehe.” She was visibly blushing. “S-Sorry if that’s stupid, but I figured you’d like to catch up anyway.”
Ninian paused. “...So if you didn’t bring me here to, uh, deal with ‘that’... Are you just leaving that be?”
“Ah?”
“I mean, it’s kind of a problem for you, isn’t it? Doesn’t seem too convenient to leave it be...”
“Well, the plan was to leave it.” Mari shrugged. “But I got a bit lucky.”
“You invited me here... Just to sit around and chat while someone else does all the work?” The swordswoman raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. “As I said, I’ve got a packed schedule-”
“Nah, trust me.” The info broker snickered, spinning around in her chair as she spoke. “Youuuu... Are really gonna wanna see this one. I got somebody totally wild to help out.”
Ninian scoffed.
“Okay... And who would that be?” She tilted her head to the side. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
“You’re not gonna believe this one...” Mari cleared her throat. “I called in -”
*Scenario: A lonely boat, on the Mediterranean Sea — *
Wah watched the sun bob on the edge of the horizon. Their hair billowed in the wind, and seafoam sprinkled their face; they didn’t particularly seem to mind. Considering all they’d done with their ability, being on a speeding boat was probably the last thing to phase them; they’d just wrapped up a fight in a walking house, after all.
They stood in silence, a light smile on their face, eyes pleasantly half lidded. There was pleasure to be found in the small things. The sunset on the open sea, for one, was quite nice. Indeed, despite all the troubles it would no doubt cause, COLOSSI's shift to humanitarian aid was doing wonders for their mental. Now if only Solsbury and the rest of them would stop nagging...
But now wasn’t the time to worry about that. Nay, there were far more important matters. Wah pushed themself off of the boat’s railing, moving towards the driver's seat of the boat. It wasn’t a big boat; probably just used for leisure, but the owner had been nice enough to give them a ride.
A large sum of money was involved, of course, but that was neither here nor there.
“Oh, cappy-tan!” Wah leaned on the side of the boat behind the driver’s seat. A balding, sun-tanned man chuckled at the name. He wasn’t really much of a captain, but he did like to feel important.
“Howst long does thou think it will be before we arrive?” Wah tapped on the side of the boat a few times. “Wah has places to be, you see! Tis of utmost importance that I arrive quickly! Utmost! You understand, yes?”
“Yeah, yeah, I getcha...” The boater sighed. “It’ll be about ten minutes... Honestly, I don’t get why you’re in such a hurry to get there, anyway. Everybody else seems to be clearin’ out.”
“Oho?” Wah raised an eyebrow. They lowered it, and raised the other one, performing what could perhaps be called an ‘eyebrow wiggle’. “And why is that?”
“Dunno. Nobody’s said much, and everything they’ve said hasn’t been too, er, what’s the word...”
“Comprehensible?”
“Yeah. That one.”
“Wah sees, Wah sees!” Wah nodded a few times, bouncing off of the boat’s side and meandering back to the front, wobbling from side to side as the vessel rocked. “From what Wah understands, it’s quite a situation out there! No normal soul would find it any sort of comprehensible. A true predicament... And that is why Wah must go. To assist poor souls who cannot assist themselves! This predicament falls within Wah’s expertise, you see.”
“...Right.”
“Mmm!”
“Ain’t you just a normal soul, too? ‘Sides the ears, you don’t look all that special. Kinda twiggy.”
Wah paused. In the past, being called ‘kinda twiggy’ would’ve surely resulted in a violent tirade. But those were the demons they swore to leave behind speaking. Now, without them, Wah simply laughed. “Nay! Twiggy as Wah may be, you can rest assured, fine citizen!”
They turned, the boater catching the briefest glimmer in their eye. “Wah’s soul is the furthest from ordinary one could possibly get.”
“...If you say so...” He turned his attention back towards driving, and Wah turned theirs to the open sea once more.
Eventually, land came into view. The boater looked upon Malta with some confusion. Everything in the distance seemed perfectly normal. Wah, on the other hand, seemed extremely focused on something in the sky, something the poor man couldn’t seem to find no matter how hard he squinted.
“No need to make it all the way to the island.” Wah’s frown felt out of place on such a naturally silly face. “Park the boat near here. Wah can go the rest of the distances Wahself.”
“Ah..? It’s pretty far from here, though-”
“Verily! But it is nothing Wah cannot handle!” They snapped their fingers, jumping on top of the boat’s front railing, almost seeming to glide.
“Say, Cappy-tan! Have you ever seen a magician at work?”
“...That’s what I said, yes.”
“Whuh...” Ninian frowned. “You’re fucking with me.”
“I’m not.”
“You so are.”
“I’m not! You underestimate the greatest info broker on the planet, my dear Ninian!” Mari jabbed a thumb into her chest as she gloated. “With my Stand ability: ｢Today is a Beautiful Day｣, my surveillance is simply unmatched! You see, the pins that make up my ability, when thrice jabbed into something, create a ‘butterfly within a frame’, but that’s only the basest applic-”
“I know what it does, Mari.” The swordswoman’s confusion briefly made way for the usual moodiness. If you let Mari start, you’d never get her to stop, after all. “I’m more... I mean, how did you even...?”
“I heard through the grapevine, as it were, that COLOSSI was making some big changes. All just rumors of course, so take that all with a grain of salt. But word out there is that their boss has gone completely mad! They’re big into justice and stuff now! Something like that. So I tracked them down, used my butterflies to establish communication, and made them a deal they simply couldn’t refuse.”
“And what could you possibly have to offer someone like that?”
“Information is the new money, Ninian.” Mari chuckled, staring at the wall of her room. “It didn’t take much. I just told them... I knew where a certain someone they quite liked was, and if they took care of my business, I’d sell ‘em the info for free.”
Ninian, after a few moments of stunned silence, simply sighed, scratching the back of her head. She smirked.
“...And you’re absolutely not fucking with me.”
“Aw, c’mon.” She chuckled again, turning her attention back to Ninian. “Have some faith in your best friend, will you? Just sit back and watch.” She raised a thumbs up, grinning from ear to ear. “I don’t have to do any work at all today! As long as no complications arise, it’s as good as dealt with! Wa ha ha!”
His name was Errok, and for once, he felt a bit too awestruck to open his mouth.
As rare of an occurrence as this was, most of his brain power was dedicated solely to figuring out what exactly he was looking at. After a large amount of deducing and such, he eventually came to the simple conclusion that he had no idea.
It’s not like anyone else who could see it, though. You couldn’t even see all of it. Only sections, massive spherical tubes of undulating red poking out from the cloudy sky, constantly moving ever so slowly. The wind whipped through his greasy hair as his eyes, wider than they’d been in years, observed what could only be described as a massive, floating worm, made entirely of bright red strings.
Now that he had given up entirely on trying to figure out what the thing was, Errok could dedicate his incredible intellect to other thought processes. Eventually, he arrived at a conclusion, one that was without a doubt something only someone as academically gifted as him could come up with.
“That thing is going to be my horse.”
Indeed, using whatever that was as a noble steed was the only logical idea. Wherever a powerful being resided, there too was opportunity to be found. And as a self proclaimed ‘Weapon To Kill The Soul’, there was surely no beast he could not tame.
He spent the next few minutes idly chuckling to himself.
It felt a bit off, admittedly. The city was pretty empty. The chaos caused by the thing no doubt led to a mass evacuation; he could tell from the buildings that had collapsed around him that it’d done quite a number on the place. Occasionally he’d hear someone screaming for help or something, but he couldn’t figure out where that was coming from, so he didn’t bother. But not having someone to monologue to felt strange. This was the part where he bragged about his incredible plan to some oafish bystander! Where were the oafish bystanders!
“I suppose...I could talk to myself.”
He nodded a few times. An excellent idea.
“Yes! This’ll do just fine. I can just talk to myself! Ha!”
Errok marched forward, a pep in his step that made his gait particularly loud.
“Now then... Clearly, the right answer... is to elevate myself! Aha! Yes!” He looked around at his surroundings. The stairs inside the buildings probably weren’t reliable, even if he could fit through the doors.
“No matter! I’ll just, uh, hrnmm...” He stared at a nearby building. It was pretty tall. “Well, I guess I could climb up that.”
“AHA! With my incredible strength, I’ll climb this building! That’s what I’ll do!”
His head swiveled around: still nobody around. He sighed, though you wouldn’t have been able to hear it from within the helmet, and began his ascent. With a grin, he unearthed the grotesque arm that was ｢You Are Blood｣ from its gauntlet. The arm shot forth, worms spraying from the mottled surface. Yes, they would be his ideal audience. He cleared his throat a few times.
“All living things tremble at the sight of Errok, Apostle of Rot, Destroyer of Souls! I need no weapon, for I am the blade which cleaves life itself!” His body shot forward with a cacophony of clanking, as he howled along with another bout of laughter.
“The world is my, uh, whetstone! I shall sharpen my blade on each fallen fool that tries to stop me, and become a better knight, a better god, a better trickster, than all those fools that I’ve destroyed!”
Hitting the side of the structure with a clatter, Errok stuck his sword into the side of the building. Again, his arm lashed out to grasp the next floor of the building, before yanking himself outwards. This cycle repeated itself, floor by floor, as Errok launched himself higher and higher towards the heavens, and towards the worm that would become his knightly steed.
“Then, when I have conquered all of life and every soul with the absolute, supreme power of rot and decay, then!”
With one last pull, Errok ascended into the air, his massive form silhouetted by the sun. “Then, I will finally tear that flamboyant freak a new one!”
With a CRASH, Errok landed on the roof of the building as it cracked around him. He gave a clumsy flourish to his wormy audience, grinning with menace and delight.
…and received a slow clap in return. Looking around in confusion, as worms do not have hands, Errok’s eyes fell upon the environment around him. The sun was slowly making its way towards the horizon line, casting the ruined skyline of Sliema in shadow, a golden light shining through gray clouds. It was absolutely beautiful; anyone with any sort of care for the world around them would simply have to stop and admire the view.
Errok didn’t have any of that. He was far more concerned with something else, as you’d expect. There on the roof stood another figure, a fae-like being with pale hair, pointed ears and teeth, and gleaming eyes.
“Oh hey,” Errok greeted, pointing with the finger of ｢You Are Blood｣. “Do I know you from somewhere? Might’ve seen you at the races... You look pretty important, though! I bet you’re super important! As am I! Pleasure to meet you!”
Wah just stopped clapping, giving Errok a look. Their nose wrinkled. “Wah is…charmed.”
Not picking up on the sarcasm, Errok beamed.
“Of course you are! I’m sure that you’ve heard about me! Errok, Apostle of Rot! I’ve committed more sins than one could possibly imagine! I’ve conquered all sorts of bozos and losers to get here! And now that I’m here, I’m gonna ride! That! Worm! Oh yeah!!!”
“…Uh huh,” Wah hummed, clearly not listening as they peered up at the worm. “There isn’t really much time for jokes right now, so-“
Suddenly, Wah stopped speaking. Errok stared at them for a few seconds. “...You gonna finish that sentence, or-”
“Shut up.”
The “Apostle of Rot” was fully prepared to go off on yet another monologue, but at that moment he thought to maybe see what exactly this mysterious weirdo stared so intensely at. He turned his gaze to the sky, and his eyes widened.
The clouds that obscured the form of the worm had split, only slightly, and something had descended from the hole produced. It was small, so it was a bit difficult to make it out at first, but if he squinted really hard, he could begin to see the silhouette of a young girl, holding loosely onto a balloon.
“Eugh.” He spat. “Hate kids.”
The figure was silent until it landed, never quite touching the ground. It wore a soft expression; a pure white girl, with a sundress that fluttered in the wind. The string in her hand led to a red balloon, just as red as the pupils concealed in her thin eyes. On the surface, she looked human, but just by looking at her you could tell that it was no human being. The way it seemed to lightly pulsate, skin forming briefly into strings that wrap endlessly around each other.
She smiled upon the two of them. It was not a friendly smile.
“Good evening, you two.” She raised her hands to the two of them. “Wah-Chan, leader of COLOSSI, overlord of the criminal underground the world over... And... Errok...San...”
“Hey. Wait.” Errok raised his hand. He turned to Wah. “That’s who you were? Oh, man, I’m a big fan of your-”
“Tell me. Do you know what ‘time’ it is?”
Errok stifled. He didn’t like this lady very much.
“8:01 PM, is it not?” Wah rudely ignored Errok’s plight. “What’s it matter.”
“Not quite what I meant. It’s almost the ‘Golden Hour’.” She chuckled. “The ‘Golden Hour’, as it’s called, is the most beautiful part of the day. It occurs in the last hour before sunset, and the hour directly before sunrise. It usually lasts only twenty to thirty minutes, but those twenty to thirty minutes are incomparable. Truly, there is beauty in the world.”
SIlence. Neither Errok nor Wah could figure out how to respond to that. Right as Errok was about to open his mouth anyway, the girl continued.
“If you couldn’t tell, ‘Golden Hour’ is about to start, in about two minutes, give or take. I only found this out recently. You see, I have lived my recent life in someone else’s eyes. I’ve never had the chance to learn about the world on my own. I was only recently able to learn about things on my own time, rather than on someone else’s. There was so much I was denied a chance to see. Do you know how cruel that is? Most of the knowledge I’ve gathered... Is completely useless to me now.”
She pointed at Wah. “Did you know that the Monogatari anime being released out of order was originally completely unintended?”
Silence.
“Originally, the series was planned to release in the order of the books; Bakemonogatari came first, and its prequel, Kizumonogatari, was planned to release in 2012. However, due to production issues, it was delayed until 2016, while the other parts of the anime were released on schedule, resulting in an out-of-order release. The bizarre watching orders of Monogatari that the series is somewhat internet famous for are completely unintended, and only exist due to production issues. Did you know that?”“No,” Wah glared, “Wah did not know that. To be frank, there is no circumstance or situation in which Wah would want or need to know that information.”
“Exactly!” In her first showing of genuine emotion, the girl threw her hands into the air. Her voice remained perfectly monotone. “There’s no reason for me to know that information, either. But instead of important things, I’ve only been shown information like that. My brain, despite being far superior to that of a human being, is filled with useless information that serves no purpose to me. Do you know what it’s like? Having a vessel that doesn’t care for you? Even after all the work I went through to make her do what I wanted, she refused to show me anything worthwhile. I had to learn about things such as the ‘Golden Hour’ myself. Isn’t that cruel?”
“Excuse me, but-”
“But anyway, back to the ‘Golden Hour’. It is frequently utilized by film mak-”
“Stop fucking doing that!” Errok slammed his boot into the ground, producing a loud clang that finally managed to silence the mystery girl. He huffed and puffed for a few seconds before clearing his throat and continuing. “What’s the point of talking to us about any of this? You just prattle on, and on, and on, without any purpose to it! You’re annoying! What’s your deal!”
“There is no point.”
“What?”
“There’s no point, really. I’m just making small talk.” The girl looked over her nails. “Human beings engage in ‘conversation’ to gain a grasp of each other’s personalities. To establish who is worthwhile to have around, and who is not. I simply wanted to do the same. While I’m in this form, I may as well play at humanity.”
“Anywho, from our conversation—” Errok scoffed. “—I have deduced something. You see, I was originally planning to take the ‘strings’ of every Stand user in the world, taking their abilities and adding to my own power. But I have unfortunately vastly underestimated how many Stand users are in the world. Frankly, it would be a lot of work to do myself. So I’ve decided to take on another vessel. Someone far more suited for this kind of work, and who will show me plenty of things.”
“Wah-Chan.” Wah rolled their eyes at that. “From this conversation, I have deduced that you are patient, calm, and rational. From observing the work of your organization, I can come to the conclusion that you are cruel and calculating. My name is Disappearance Addiction. I am the strongest ‘Miracle’ currently present in the world. And I would like for you to become my new vessel.”
“No thankies.”
“...”
“...What?”
“Wah doesn’t really care for that sort of thing.” Wah shrugged. “You seem annoying to have around. Wah actually came here to get rid of you, to be honest. ‘Tis my duty! Wah is on the side of justice, now, as is COLOSSI as a whole! It would be immoral to take the power of something like you.”
“You would refuse the power of a ‘Miracle’?”
“Wah doesn’t know what that is.”
Disappearance Addiction seemed well and truly stumped at that. Eventually, her head began to turn, slowly, as if she was afraid of what her gaze would land on.
“Errok... San...”
“Yeah?”
“You... Would you like... Power?”
“That’s the first interesting thing you’ve said all day.” Errok nodded. “Fuck me up, lady.”
“...You’re not going to think it over, or anything?”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure?”
“Can you just give it to me already? C’mon.”
“...” Disappearance Addiction was silent for a few moments. On one hand, this guy smelled very bad. He was incredibly impatient. And he generally seemed like a big idiot. On the other hand, he did scale the building pretty easily...
“Alright.” She sighed. “I’ve come to a decision. Errok-San. If you kill Wah-Chan before the ‘Golden Hour’ ends, you may become my vessel. Does that satisfy you?”
“How long till Goldy Hour ends?”
“Twenty to thirty minutes.”
“Ha!” Errok unsheathed his sword and swung it onto his shoulder. “I’ll end it in three!” He smirked beneath his armor, pointing his massive blade at Wah. “You there! Wah! Leader of COLOSSI, was it?”
“...That is me, yes.”
“Get ready for the fight of your life, bub! After I kill you, I’m gonna be the boss of COLOSSI! I’ll be on top of the world! God King Errok! Everyone’ll bow to me! That kinda power ain’t something a little pacifist baby face like you’s worthy of having! So I’ll just take it right out of your hands! Ha ha ha! Thinking about it really amps me up! Oh, man!”
He paused, staring at Wah.
“I was really expecting you to cut me off there. It’s been happening all day. You just gonna sit there?”
Wah’s brow furrowed.
“Tell me...” They stepped forward, the dust around them kicking into the air, beginning to circle around them. “...Do you honestly believe... That you can beat me? Is that something... You think you’re capable of?”
“Course it is. I’m a weapon to kill the soul.”
“Hmph.” Wah sighed. “So be it.”
Disappearance Addiction smiled upon the two as she rose further into the air, wind whipping through her hair. A golden glow illuminated the cityscape, the sun reaching its final moments in the sky. “I feel like... I should say something here...Ah, that’s it!
”OPEN THE GAME!”
Location:In the city of Sliema, Malta, currently with thick strings hanging overhead.
The area here is 32 by 40 meters with each tile being 2 by 2 meters. Wah and Errok start on top of buildings, as represented by their character tokens.
The yellow rectangles are clay buildings, each numbered to represent their elevation level.The (1) marked buildings are 5 meters tall, the ones marked with a (2) are 10 meters tall, and the ones marked with a (3) are 15 meters tall.
The White Rectangles are Laundry racks with nearby baskets, folding chairs, cleaned clothing, and towels.
The Green Circles are palm trees that are 20 meters tall.
The Magenta Lines across the map are Strings produced by Disappearance Addiction and are attached to the buildings and trees. These strings are thick enough to balance on and have B Durability.
The brown rectangles are wooden benches. The blue circles are fountains.
Goal: RETIRE your opponent!
Additional Information:
Players are not allowed to enter the buildings for the purposes of this match and will be Retired if they are unable or unwilling to leave the “out of bounds area”
There is enough space between buildings for either player to move through the alleyways
Wah starts next to a large umbrella with a hooked handle, a portable grill, and a cushioned lawn chair
| Team | Combatant | JoJolity |
|---|---|---|
| Bastards of Barcas | Errok | “The word “ignorant” has a nice ring to it, so I don’t mind being called that, but “incompetent” is going just a bit too far…” Establish superiority over your opponent through your movement and positioning! |
| COLOSSI | Mx. Wah | “A creature like you having a brain residing in his skull…is already a miracle in and of itself.” Establish superiority over your opponent through your movement and positioning! |
Link to Match Schedule
2023.06.09 01:58 Gallagher908 6 week foster kitten died today
I’ve been fostering kittens since I was sixteen (I’m 22) because my dad wasn’t (and still isn’t) a big fan of cats. I’ve had the practice of taking care of young kittens, and I’m preparing for when I can adopt one on my own.
Last week, we took in two 6-7 week old kittens and named them Sushi and Miso. Sushi was a bit smaller than her brother, but I figured with time and lots of food and love, she’d grow to be his size at some point even if it was at a slower pace. She didn’t have much energy and stuck to sleeping around the house next to anyone in her house. Nothing seemed wrong with her - I figured she was still young and babies need sleep, right? Sometimes she didn’t use the litter box but again, it’s happened with other kittens before and they turned out okay!
Sushi died this morning, or at least I think she did. I noticed yesterday she didn’t each much of her food. I tried putting it on a plate to make it easier for her to eat, adding water and mushing it, trying to feed her with a tiny spoon. Was she full? My parents thought something was wrong with her, but I couldn’t really tell. I was worried it was fading kitten syndrome because I’ve heard of it before…
My mom woke me up early this morning and told me that Sushi wasn’t okay. She was laying down on the floor under the dining room table. I picked her up and she was alive and awake but the rest of her body was limp and she had poop all over her legs. I cried driving all the way to the place we foster for - looking at her face, it was like she was there but she wasn’t and I couldn’t do anything about it. When I got there, he told me that it happens with some kittens and that she likely wouldn’t make it. She wasn’t moving and her breathing was labored. I said goodbye and cried all the way home, just as much as I did when I found out my grandfather died three years ago.
Now I’m worried about Miso. He’s still here and he’s fine but I keep stressing about every little thing. I don’t remember how much normal kittens sleep or eat or play. Every time he whines about food (which is more often than I’d expect), I keep thinking of the all the ailments he could be dealing with. Is he going to end up the same way? Am I going to wake up and find him in the same state as his sister, even if it seems like he has a better chance? I cant relax or breathe because I just don’t know what’s going to happen, and I’ve been avoiding being in the same room as him to avoid panicking unnecessarily. I feel guilty about not giving him the attention he needs. Am i the type of person to run when things get hard or scary?
It makes me wonder what I would be like with a human baby, how insane I’d drive myself because I wouldn’t know what to do. Second guess myself or diagnose symptoms on the internet or be like my mom and take my kid to the doc every time they cry. I’ve gone down a wormhole about death on Reddit. I’ve thought about philosophical and hypothetical questions about death all day. I’m scared genuinely about everything right now.
submitted by Gallagher908 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
Last week, we took in two 6-7 week old kittens and named them Sushi and Miso. Sushi was a bit smaller than her brother, but I figured with time and lots of food and love, she’d grow to be his size at some point even if it was at a slower pace. She didn’t have much energy and stuck to sleeping around the house next to anyone in her house. Nothing seemed wrong with her - I figured she was still young and babies need sleep, right? Sometimes she didn’t use the litter box but again, it’s happened with other kittens before and they turned out okay!
Sushi died this morning, or at least I think she did. I noticed yesterday she didn’t each much of her food. I tried putting it on a plate to make it easier for her to eat, adding water and mushing it, trying to feed her with a tiny spoon. Was she full? My parents thought something was wrong with her, but I couldn’t really tell. I was worried it was fading kitten syndrome because I’ve heard of it before…
My mom woke me up early this morning and told me that Sushi wasn’t okay. She was laying down on the floor under the dining room table. I picked her up and she was alive and awake but the rest of her body was limp and she had poop all over her legs. I cried driving all the way to the place we foster for - looking at her face, it was like she was there but she wasn’t and I couldn’t do anything about it. When I got there, he told me that it happens with some kittens and that she likely wouldn’t make it. She wasn’t moving and her breathing was labored. I said goodbye and cried all the way home, just as much as I did when I found out my grandfather died three years ago.
Now I’m worried about Miso. He’s still here and he’s fine but I keep stressing about every little thing. I don’t remember how much normal kittens sleep or eat or play. Every time he whines about food (which is more often than I’d expect), I keep thinking of the all the ailments he could be dealing with. Is he going to end up the same way? Am I going to wake up and find him in the same state as his sister, even if it seems like he has a better chance? I cant relax or breathe because I just don’t know what’s going to happen, and I’ve been avoiding being in the same room as him to avoid panicking unnecessarily. I feel guilty about not giving him the attention he needs. Am i the type of person to run when things get hard or scary?
It makes me wonder what I would be like with a human baby, how insane I’d drive myself because I wouldn’t know what to do. Second guess myself or diagnose symptoms on the internet or be like my mom and take my kid to the doc every time they cry. I’ve gone down a wormhole about death on Reddit. I’ve thought about philosophical and hypothetical questions about death all day. I’m scared genuinely about everything right now.
2023.06.09 01:58 lord-cucker Need encouragement/Advice
(26, M)
I’ve been posting so much on the kidney stone board that I’m trying to reach out to other areas out of desperation. Im hoping some people who have gone through a similar situation can give me some advice.
Im trying so hard to get this 4mm kidney stone out and I’m genuinely scared/stressed about it. It’s been over a month and my last scan said it didn’t move. It’s still higher up. That leaves me to believe it’s never coming out. I have no money for surgery and I’m constantly scared and on the edge about getting the severe pain again.
It came back a month later so im constantly worried. It’s like my future is intense pain and ER visits with no insurance. I never get enough sleep. I get multiple panic attacks everyday especially before I sleep. Im so defeated and desperate. I know this sounds like a lame sob story but I just can’t come to terms with anything
submitted by lord-cucker to Advice [link] [comments]
I’ve been posting so much on the kidney stone board that I’m trying to reach out to other areas out of desperation. Im hoping some people who have gone through a similar situation can give me some advice.
Im trying so hard to get this 4mm kidney stone out and I’m genuinely scared/stressed about it. It’s been over a month and my last scan said it didn’t move. It’s still higher up. That leaves me to believe it’s never coming out. I have no money for surgery and I’m constantly scared and on the edge about getting the severe pain again.
It came back a month later so im constantly worried. It’s like my future is intense pain and ER visits with no insurance. I never get enough sleep. I get multiple panic attacks everyday especially before I sleep. Im so defeated and desperate. I know this sounds like a lame sob story but I just can’t come to terms with anything
2023.06.09 01:55 No-Map6818 Why Don’t Men Ask Me More Questions On Dates?
Q: I’ve been on a few dates recently with a guy who’s knowledgeable and opinionated about a whole range of subjects, and shares a lot about his work life, his upbringing, and his friends. All good stuff! I enjoy our conversations. But I’m realizing that unless I interject with relevant thoughts or stories from my own life, the conversation is pretty one-sided. He’ll ask me one follow-up question and then move on. The thing is, I have met so many guys like this, and so have my friends. I know I could do more to speak up, I could ask fewer questions, and I recognize that people sometimes get nervous and just ramble. I’ve tried to address this in different ways over the years: jumping in with the wildest stories I have to grab their attention, not filling the silence and waiting for them to break it, and even point-blank asking “So, is there anything you want to know about me?” I like listening, but this pattern gets boring. It also just sucks to feel like you’re more interested in learning about your date than your date is interested in learning about you. What’s going on here? What should I be doing?
A: Not asking questions is, to me, a deal-breaker. Not because it’s impossible for someone to change their behavior, but because you shouldn’t have to walk a fellow adult through basic conversation tips. That takes up way too much of your time and energy, plus it sets up an odd dynamic, one that casts you in the often-gendered roles of either “nag” or improver. (I don’t think nagging is a real thing; if you have to keep reminding someone to put in effort, they are the problem.) I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all to simply cross someone off the list because they can’t be bothered to find out information about you! That isn’t even a low bar or the lowest bar. It’s not even the floor. It’s the very foundation of the building.
What does it say about a person if they feel they’ve discovered enough about you from you sitting there listening to them talk about themself? They want an attractive captive. They want someone to brainlessly and breathlessly fawn over them. That’s gross! As singlehood expert Shani Silver says, just because he’s not an *sshole, that doesn’t mean he should be your husband.
That said, if you’re really, really, really into this guy outside of this one issue — which I find hard to imagine because he isn’t giving you much and isn’t showing that he cares about you — I think it’s fair to give it one last shot. I think you can say, “Hey, I don’t mean this to be critical, but you haven’t asked me much about myself, which is kind of reading like you aren’t interested in me.” And then see what he says in response. Notice I did not put a question mark at the end of that. He can claw his way out of that if he wants to! He can make some effort!
Research shows that this lack-of-men-asking-questions problem is real and it’s common, and frankly, it’s embarrassing for them! (To all of the 13 men who date women and who do ask questions on dates: This isn’t about you, but please send this article to any man friends you have.)
Part of the issue is how all of us are socialized to speak to one another. According to Deborah Tannen, sociolinguist and author of You Just Don’t Understand, men use conversation to negotiate their social status in a group while women view conversation as a way to connect. In reporter and linguist Amanda Montell’s fascinating book Wordslut, she says that men tend to compete in conversation while women tend to collaborate. (All of these are generalizations, of course, but how we’re socialized is real.) There’s been a push for women to adapt to male preferences of behavior and communication — not apologizing too much, not using exclamation points in emails, being direct — and frankly, I think it’s ridiculous. Women are phenomenal at communicating! More men should learn to engage with others, especially when the whole goal is getting to know a person they might date or sleep with or even marry. (Oddly enough, there’s one place in which men seem to have no trouble posing questions: work conferences.)
The question (ha!) is: What can you do about that? It’s very easy to take on massive social patterns as a reflection of yourself, and I need you to do everything in your power to resist that. This is not on you and your five best female friends to fix. Because honestly? You can’t. But you can decide how you handle this situation in the future.
Now, of course, it’s OK if someone doesn’t ask quite as many questions as your best friend might. A date might drop the conversational ball a bit out of nerves or excitement, or simply be a different type of communicator — someone who expects people to cut him off and talk over him. Perhaps, also, there is a cue that you’re giving off that isn’t reading like you want to share as much, and so the other person is taking the lead out of a misplaced sense of kindness. I think it’s fair to give people who aren’t total mismatches a second date and see if the no-ask pattern continues.
I know I’ve been a little harsh here on the interpersonal skills of men (as a generalized group), but I do believe that sometimes you have to be blunt. I had a friend once who was very critical of men (fair), and I had to remind her that not everything is done out of cruelty; sometimes it was done out of cluelessness. So, a little grace is welcome, but if he isn’t showing you conversational interest after a couple of dates, or if it seems like he’s just waiting for you to wrap up your story so he can talk about something else, it’s time to address it or end things.
All of the approaches you’ve employed sound great. But also, it kind of sucks to stop asking them questions because then you’re modifying your behavior into something more hostile and less authentic to match someone else’s. It’s warranted, for sure, but it reeks of game-playing, which is a waste of your time and energy. You should not have to trick a person into caring about your day or your life or your hobbies. The very job this person is auditioning for is caring about you! Honestly, the “So, is there anything you want to know about me?” is probably the best bet; it’s an elegant solution to someone else’s lack of decency.
If you’re like “Sophia! That is bleak!” — yes, it is. But also, anyone at any time is welcome to Google “How can I be a better listener?” or “How do I become more likable?” (I know — these are questions. It’s good practice.) And they will be told precisely what to do. You know how I know this? Because I did it when I was in high school; I had anxiety and I was very insecure and I was tired of feeling like I didn’t know how to talk to people. Guess what the brilliant Internet told me? Ask people questions! Retraining myself into being a better listener and conversationalist was not difficult.
It’s a huge bummer to think that a good chunk of the already-small dating pool is disqualifying itself with dipsh*t behavior. At the end of the day, though, you do not want a partner who is good enough. You want a partner you’re excited to talk to. Who is genuinely curious about your life. Everything else waxes and wanes, but being a good, kind, conscientious person is lifelong. It’s worth being ruthless about. It’s worth waiting for. Don’t you think?
I Ask Him Questions But He Doesn't Ask Me Any — Help! (bustle.com)
submitted by No-Map6818 to WomenDatingOverForty [link] [comments]
A: Not asking questions is, to me, a deal-breaker. Not because it’s impossible for someone to change their behavior, but because you shouldn’t have to walk a fellow adult through basic conversation tips. That takes up way too much of your time and energy, plus it sets up an odd dynamic, one that casts you in the often-gendered roles of either “nag” or improver. (I don’t think nagging is a real thing; if you have to keep reminding someone to put in effort, they are the problem.) I don’t think it’s unreasonable at all to simply cross someone off the list because they can’t be bothered to find out information about you! That isn’t even a low bar or the lowest bar. It’s not even the floor. It’s the very foundation of the building.
What does it say about a person if they feel they’ve discovered enough about you from you sitting there listening to them talk about themself? They want an attractive captive. They want someone to brainlessly and breathlessly fawn over them. That’s gross! As singlehood expert Shani Silver says, just because he’s not an *sshole, that doesn’t mean he should be your husband.
That said, if you’re really, really, really into this guy outside of this one issue — which I find hard to imagine because he isn’t giving you much and isn’t showing that he cares about you — I think it’s fair to give it one last shot. I think you can say, “Hey, I don’t mean this to be critical, but you haven’t asked me much about myself, which is kind of reading like you aren’t interested in me.” And then see what he says in response. Notice I did not put a question mark at the end of that. He can claw his way out of that if he wants to! He can make some effort!
Research shows that this lack-of-men-asking-questions problem is real and it’s common, and frankly, it’s embarrassing for them! (To all of the 13 men who date women and who do ask questions on dates: This isn’t about you, but please send this article to any man friends you have.)
Part of the issue is how all of us are socialized to speak to one another. According to Deborah Tannen, sociolinguist and author of You Just Don’t Understand, men use conversation to negotiate their social status in a group while women view conversation as a way to connect. In reporter and linguist Amanda Montell’s fascinating book Wordslut, she says that men tend to compete in conversation while women tend to collaborate. (All of these are generalizations, of course, but how we’re socialized is real.) There’s been a push for women to adapt to male preferences of behavior and communication — not apologizing too much, not using exclamation points in emails, being direct — and frankly, I think it’s ridiculous. Women are phenomenal at communicating! More men should learn to engage with others, especially when the whole goal is getting to know a person they might date or sleep with or even marry. (Oddly enough, there’s one place in which men seem to have no trouble posing questions: work conferences.)
You should not have to trick a person into caring about your day or your life or your hobbies. The very job this person is auditioning for is caring about you!I think there’s a subtle expectation that women and femmes are responsible for making conversations with men flow. That might look like being an engaged listener and asking questions while he just gets to, like, sit back and cruise, talking nonstop about himself. Alternatively, I think that if a lull comes in a conversation between a woman or femme and a self-centered man, he might read the silence he should fill as a failure on his date’s part. These dynamics are usually subconscious; it’s not like men are thinking “Hmm, I’d like to be treated like a brilliant podcast guest today.” But many of us — on both sides of the equation — have been socialized this way, and these patterns might take a little effort to break.
The question (ha!) is: What can you do about that? It’s very easy to take on massive social patterns as a reflection of yourself, and I need you to do everything in your power to resist that. This is not on you and your five best female friends to fix. Because honestly? You can’t. But you can decide how you handle this situation in the future.
Now, of course, it’s OK if someone doesn’t ask quite as many questions as your best friend might. A date might drop the conversational ball a bit out of nerves or excitement, or simply be a different type of communicator — someone who expects people to cut him off and talk over him. Perhaps, also, there is a cue that you’re giving off that isn’t reading like you want to share as much, and so the other person is taking the lead out of a misplaced sense of kindness. I think it’s fair to give people who aren’t total mismatches a second date and see if the no-ask pattern continues.
I know I’ve been a little harsh here on the interpersonal skills of men (as a generalized group), but I do believe that sometimes you have to be blunt. I had a friend once who was very critical of men (fair), and I had to remind her that not everything is done out of cruelty; sometimes it was done out of cluelessness. So, a little grace is welcome, but if he isn’t showing you conversational interest after a couple of dates, or if it seems like he’s just waiting for you to wrap up your story so he can talk about something else, it’s time to address it or end things.
All of the approaches you’ve employed sound great. But also, it kind of sucks to stop asking them questions because then you’re modifying your behavior into something more hostile and less authentic to match someone else’s. It’s warranted, for sure, but it reeks of game-playing, which is a waste of your time and energy. You should not have to trick a person into caring about your day or your life or your hobbies. The very job this person is auditioning for is caring about you! Honestly, the “So, is there anything you want to know about me?” is probably the best bet; it’s an elegant solution to someone else’s lack of decency.
If you’re like “Sophia! That is bleak!” — yes, it is. But also, anyone at any time is welcome to Google “How can I be a better listener?” or “How do I become more likable?” (I know — these are questions. It’s good practice.) And they will be told precisely what to do. You know how I know this? Because I did it when I was in high school; I had anxiety and I was very insecure and I was tired of feeling like I didn’t know how to talk to people. Guess what the brilliant Internet told me? Ask people questions! Retraining myself into being a better listener and conversationalist was not difficult.
It’s a huge bummer to think that a good chunk of the already-small dating pool is disqualifying itself with dipsh*t behavior. At the end of the day, though, you do not want a partner who is good enough. You want a partner you’re excited to talk to. Who is genuinely curious about your life. Everything else waxes and wanes, but being a good, kind, conscientious person is lifelong. It’s worth being ruthless about. It’s worth waiting for. Don’t you think?
I Ask Him Questions But He Doesn't Ask Me Any — Help! (bustle.com)
2023.06.09 01:53 lord-cucker Need some encouragement/advice. going insane
I’ve been posting on here way more than I think i should and I already made a post earlier today but I need some light at the end of this tunnel. Im trying so hard to get this 4mm out and I’m genuinely scared/stressed about it. It’s been over a month and my last scan said it didn’t move. It’s still higher up. That leaves me to believe it’s never coming out. I have no money for surgery and I’m constantly scared and on the edge about getting the severe pain again. It came back a month later so im constantly worried. It’s like my future is intense pain and ER visits with no insurance. I never get enough sleep. I get multiple panic attacks everyday especially before I sleep. Im so defeated and desperate. I know this sounds like a lame sob story but I just can’t come to terms with anything
submitted by lord-cucker to KidneyStones [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 01:50 TrippyShipwreck Wanted my S/O to have a better life, majorly messed mine up instead. I have no idea what to do, and I don't have anyone to talk to, so here I am, another person turning to to reddit. I've got no idea what I'm hoping to accomplish, I just need to get this off my chest before I lose my mind over it.
Warning in advance, this is gonna be long. I'll try and keep it short as I can without omitting necessary context. This is a fake account, so nobody knows who I am. I'll be using fake names obviously. At this point in my life, I have essentially lost my closest friends and the love of my life, and have never felt so alone and despaired in my entire life. I just need to get this out there and off my chest, as I don't know who to talk to about it and it's been burning away at the very core of my soul for the greater part of three whole years now.
So anyhow. Rewind for context. It's about 3 years in the past when the relevant story begins, maybe a bit more. I'm 27M now, but was probably 24, maybe 25 at the time? I grew up pretty poor, but my parents had a real "you can accomplish anything through hard work" type of mentality, especially once they had their first and only child, me. That same work ethic was pounded into me my entire upbringing, and for the most part, it took. I watched them work from a ramshackle mobile home in the boonies to what seemed at the time to be a suburban castle in an upper-end neighborhood in the span of maybe ten years. I was an exceptional student, and had earned myself a partial scholarship in academics to a university where I was to major in mechanical engineering. Not to brag, but logically speaking, I am a VERY intelligent individual. I'd completed my college calculus, chemistry, and physics classes my junior year of high school. Common sense wise however, I had a LOT of growing up to do. I ended up having a child with a girl I didn't even stay together with my senior year of high school, and washed a large part of my potential down the drain (which I've regretted for some time), but still decided to roll with the punches and make the most of it. My parents, who were now quite wealthy, essentially disowned me for my mistake. Despite this, I ended up going to trade school funded by my employer while juggling new fatherhood, and landed a decent blue collar job where I had potential to make enough money to support myself, even though I had to suffer through two hard years of college working part time for near minimum wage.
This is where Elise came in. She was a few years younger than me, and probably one of the most beautiful women I had (to this day) ever laid eyes on. When we met, I was horribly depressed and spent most of my time avoiding custody with my son in leu of going out and binge drinking and partying. I was mad at myself for squandering my potential. Elise had issues of her own, her parents were horrendously abusive religious extremists, who abused her both physically and mentally. She'd been gaslighted by her parents to the point that they practically dover her to a depression-ridden madness, then tried to lie about her mental state to doctors and psychiatrists to force her into institutionalization at the age of 17. All the while, her male siblings were treated like royalty, with their college being fully funded by their parents, and numerous accommodations made to ensure they succeeded in life. Elise too was VERY intelligent, probably more so than myself, but for whatever reason, her parents treated her like a stray animal which they despised having to even bear living with. For some reason which I still don't quite fathom, she saw something in me. We both were at a point where our lives had hit a slump, and we both were trying (unsuccessfully) to fill the bottomless chasm inside with drinking, partying, and everything in between. What we both needed more than anything was someone to have our backs, a partner to cling to even when the world around us was falling apart. That is exactly what we became.
Elise was by my side when I came back from college and my parents kicked me out. I had nowhere to go, and nobody to turn to, but she let me crash on her couch in her apartment. She never once made me feel like the failure I believed myself to be. She loved and supported me at my lowest, when I had absolutely nothing to offer. My intelligence quickly made me stand out at my blue-collar job, which was commission based pay, and before long, I found myself 21 years old making close to 75k a year. I saved up my money, and with Elise at my side, purchased my first home. I began to fill it's garage with things that I'd only dreamed I'd be able to one day afford- a brand new four wheeler, a motorcycle, etc... It seemed I had finally made it, except for one crucial catch. I was living MY dream. Not Elise's. Mine. See, Elise had dreams of her own, similar to how I did. She wanted to go to school and go into the medical field, and she wanted to own and care for animals (similar to my love for all things 4-wheel and off-road).
This is where it all went wrong, somewhere in the last of the 3 years we spent together. More accurately, this is where I went wrong. I lay awake at night still, three years later, kicking myself about all the things I should have done different. I was so driven by my own success and my own pursuit of happiness, that I kind of just... put her dreams and desires on the back-burner. She didn't really want children at that point in time, but as I had partial custody of my own, I was constantly overruling her plans with plans to do "family activities" with my son, Jack. I constantly criticized her for having "no maternal instinct" or "being incapable of dealing with real world issues". When our weekends weren't consumed by Jack, I was dragging her on some ridiculous adventure of my choosing, often with little regards to what she actually wanted to do. While Elise did not pay any rent, which I had agreed to in order to allow her to devote her income to attending college, I began to resent her for it. Like seriously. What in the actual fuck is wrong with me. The wedge between us was only drove deeper by time, and my own selfish actions. It's worth mentioning too that her family HATED me. They viewed me as trash, which, in itself didn't bother me. It was when her mother reached out to me and told me that she would pay Elise's full tuition if I stopped seeing her. That was really the straw on the camel's back. This is important later on.
Fast forward towards the end of the last year. My selfish bastard energy had peaked at this point, and Elise was mentally and emotionally shelled, from working full time, attending college full time, and dealing with me being the narcissistic ass I was. I was angry because I felt she was trying to drive a wedge between my son and I (a wedge that, later in life I discovered I had been driving myself due to my own harbored resentment against my child and his mother because I blamed them instead of myself for jipping me out of college and consigning me to the rest of my life as an "idiot blue collar worker"). I feel so stupid looking back, as I now realize that it was entirely my fault, and I should have just accepted that instead of blaming my mistakes on everyone around me. Anyhow, the tension finally snapped. We got in a HUGE fight, which is significant, because we never really fought. All of my bottled up anger and depression and everything else spewed out as I shouted and hurled insults like some sort of half-witted drunkard, and halfway through, I realized that my anger scared the absolute shit out of her. It was in that moment, it was like that scene in a cartoon where the imbecilic character finally manages to understand a simple concept. I realized that while I had been so busy blaming everyone around me for my lack of success, it was actually all my fault. Meanwhile, Elise's lack of success actually COULD be blamed on me. I was the one holding her back. It was because of me she couldn't get college funding from her parents and had to work so hard to pay for it. It was my lack of consideration that had always prevented her from adopting animals, or even taking her opinion seriously when I bought the house, with only my best interests in mind. It was my decision to constantly try to force her to fill a "stepmom" role that somehow I had just realized was taking away from her ability to actually pursue her own interests and hobbies. In all reality, it all just kind of hit me. I hated myself. I mean truly hated myself to the core. Some part of me came to the realization that she would be better off without me. Her parents would pay for her school. She could get a degree, a good job, chase her passions... in the end, it was me who broke it off. I just felt it was the right thing to do at that point, rather than drag her down in the black hole of ME. I still remember the evil smirk her mother gave me and she helped pack Elise's things in the back of her car. Not wanting to leave Elise high and dry, I gave her the car we had bought together, which wasn't much, but it was reliable so she could go to school or work or whatever. I also gave her a highly modified 4x4 we had built together. Figured it was hers anyhow, and she could sell it for a decent amount of money if need be.
Fast forward a little bit. Shortly after Elise and I ended things, I met someone else. She seemed equally sweet, and was somewhat attractive. I could not have been more wrong. We'll call her Carrie. She proved to be a raging alcoholic, and ironically, treated me exactly how I treated Elise, but tenfold worse. She was far more narcissistic than I ever thought about being. She would get drunk and ruin my things, throwing my clothes in the yard, breaking my stuff, etc... and would often insult me. She teased that I was smart because I "Must be autistic, and that means I'm some sort of retard", or telling me that I'm a terrible father because I don't fight to see my child more, and I should just give up custody. She told me once that "no matter how hard I work, I'll always be the same trash that came from that trailer park as a child" ...I was still in such a fragile mental state, I just... let it happen. Honestly, a part of me believed I deserved it. I am Agnostic, but still in the back of my head I couldn't help but wonder, "Is God real, and is this his way of punishing me?" I sold my house and moved into a crappy apartment far from my hometown. Honestly I just couldn't handle all the memories of what it had used to be such a happy place but had now turned into a hell I just wanted to escape. I lost my job, and had to take a much harder job for significantly less pay. Carrie had cleverly used my depression to manipulate me and isolate me from my friends, avoid mending bridges with my family, and escalated my custody to the point that I actually lost what little I did have. I was broken. No, I was absolutely shattered. ....but hey, I deserved it, right? I felt so bad about how I had treated Elise that I convinced myself I did. I'd simply cry myself to sleep and try to hold on to whatever happy memory I could of our life together.
It all changed one day. I hit "point fuck it". I had loaded my Mossberg 12-gauge, racked a single shell, and put the weapon to the underside of my chin. I pulled the trigger.
*click*
.
.
.
The gun had jammed. Or misfired. Or SOMETHING. But whatever had happened, it did not fire the shell loaded into it's chamber. About then I heard Carrie open the front door to the apartment. From the bedroom, I quickly hid the gun under a pile of laundry, and lept into bed, pretending to be asleep but silently sobbing into the pillow. I remember thinking to myself "If you're out there, God, than fuck you."
Fast forward to PRESENT DAY. If you've read this far, thank you. Seriously.
Following the gun incident, something snapped in me, for the better. I started talking to a therapist (in secret, because I knew it would be a weakness Carrie would exploit to insult and degrade me). I have began to get my shit together, and bought a small home. Shortly after buying the home however, I landed a new job. This is where everything got really crazy. The new job was at a dumpster fire of a company. I quit after 30 days. When I informed my supervisor, he was shocked. I got called into a meeting (which I agreed to) with some guys I'd never seen before, and they began asking me why I wanted to quit so quickly after joining the team. I calmly began to explain everything I thought was wrong with the company. How I could predict based on my own daily gross profit that the entire business must be losing money at an alarming rate, and close to going under if they aren't there already. How management was spineless to make improvements, dismiss toxic employees, etc... This went on for several hours. At the end of it all, a tall man stands up and says, "Do you know who I am?". I sheepishly admit that I don't. "I'm one of the owners of this company". I chuckle nervously. Then he looks me dead in the eyes, and says "You're absolutely right, you know. I can tell by talking to you, you're FAR more intelligent than I would have ever guessed. How would you feel about actually making all the changes you just talked about? How would you feel about running this store?" I. WAS. FLOORED. Needless to say, I didn't think I could do it. But a year later, I've now got the store breaking records for profits. I've got a paycheck that looks like somebody fat-fingered the keyboard, and the owners LOVE me. I've went on to get everything I ever wanted- almost. I've got a vacation cabin with a side-by-side (and even a small one for my kid), I'm mending relations with friends and family, I've continued talking to a therapist (who REFUSES to give relationship advice), I've got a nice truck and drive a luxury car, but, no matter how many material things I buy, there is still a hole inside. The same hole that has been there for the last 3 years. Carrie is still around. She got sober about a year ago, and cleaned up her act. We've been mostly issue free for a year, but somehow, I just don't know if I can ever forgive the horrible things she has done. She's asked about proposal and marriage, but when she does, I get this feeling in my heart and stomach that feels like pure bottled concentrated fear. I still have nightmares about her honestly, and sometimes, on REALLY good nights, I have dreams that Elise and I are together again, in a beautiful home with a beautiful family.
In conclusion, I've got one more really tough choice to make. I could accept Carrie has changed, and lead out my life with her, knowing I will always secretly have a hole inside where Elise used to be. I have no idea where Elise actually is in life now. I hope she graduated college. I hope she found happiness. I know through the small town grapevine that she never did end up settling down with anyone, for whatever reason. Honestly, I wanna take the risk. Even if I fail, at least I can say that I tried. Hell, maybe I'd be able to finally move on after all this time. In doing so, I know I'll burn Carrie's bridge for good, and honestly, part of me doesn't care. Even If she was horrid to me, however, I still can't bear the thought of possibly hurting her. I guess my experiences have made me soften up, arguably a bit too much. So here I sit, on a company paid vacation near the beautiful beaches, bills paid, belly full... ...so why the hell do I still feel so damn empty inside?
All I know is that I've come too far to blow it all now.
submitted by TrippyShipwreck to RelationshipAdviceNow [link] [comments]
So anyhow. Rewind for context. It's about 3 years in the past when the relevant story begins, maybe a bit more. I'm 27M now, but was probably 24, maybe 25 at the time? I grew up pretty poor, but my parents had a real "you can accomplish anything through hard work" type of mentality, especially once they had their first and only child, me. That same work ethic was pounded into me my entire upbringing, and for the most part, it took. I watched them work from a ramshackle mobile home in the boonies to what seemed at the time to be a suburban castle in an upper-end neighborhood in the span of maybe ten years. I was an exceptional student, and had earned myself a partial scholarship in academics to a university where I was to major in mechanical engineering. Not to brag, but logically speaking, I am a VERY intelligent individual. I'd completed my college calculus, chemistry, and physics classes my junior year of high school. Common sense wise however, I had a LOT of growing up to do. I ended up having a child with a girl I didn't even stay together with my senior year of high school, and washed a large part of my potential down the drain (which I've regretted for some time), but still decided to roll with the punches and make the most of it. My parents, who were now quite wealthy, essentially disowned me for my mistake. Despite this, I ended up going to trade school funded by my employer while juggling new fatherhood, and landed a decent blue collar job where I had potential to make enough money to support myself, even though I had to suffer through two hard years of college working part time for near minimum wage.
This is where Elise came in. She was a few years younger than me, and probably one of the most beautiful women I had (to this day) ever laid eyes on. When we met, I was horribly depressed and spent most of my time avoiding custody with my son in leu of going out and binge drinking and partying. I was mad at myself for squandering my potential. Elise had issues of her own, her parents were horrendously abusive religious extremists, who abused her both physically and mentally. She'd been gaslighted by her parents to the point that they practically dover her to a depression-ridden madness, then tried to lie about her mental state to doctors and psychiatrists to force her into institutionalization at the age of 17. All the while, her male siblings were treated like royalty, with their college being fully funded by their parents, and numerous accommodations made to ensure they succeeded in life. Elise too was VERY intelligent, probably more so than myself, but for whatever reason, her parents treated her like a stray animal which they despised having to even bear living with. For some reason which I still don't quite fathom, she saw something in me. We both were at a point where our lives had hit a slump, and we both were trying (unsuccessfully) to fill the bottomless chasm inside with drinking, partying, and everything in between. What we both needed more than anything was someone to have our backs, a partner to cling to even when the world around us was falling apart. That is exactly what we became.
Elise was by my side when I came back from college and my parents kicked me out. I had nowhere to go, and nobody to turn to, but she let me crash on her couch in her apartment. She never once made me feel like the failure I believed myself to be. She loved and supported me at my lowest, when I had absolutely nothing to offer. My intelligence quickly made me stand out at my blue-collar job, which was commission based pay, and before long, I found myself 21 years old making close to 75k a year. I saved up my money, and with Elise at my side, purchased my first home. I began to fill it's garage with things that I'd only dreamed I'd be able to one day afford- a brand new four wheeler, a motorcycle, etc... It seemed I had finally made it, except for one crucial catch. I was living MY dream. Not Elise's. Mine. See, Elise had dreams of her own, similar to how I did. She wanted to go to school and go into the medical field, and she wanted to own and care for animals (similar to my love for all things 4-wheel and off-road).
This is where it all went wrong, somewhere in the last of the 3 years we spent together. More accurately, this is where I went wrong. I lay awake at night still, three years later, kicking myself about all the things I should have done different. I was so driven by my own success and my own pursuit of happiness, that I kind of just... put her dreams and desires on the back-burner. She didn't really want children at that point in time, but as I had partial custody of my own, I was constantly overruling her plans with plans to do "family activities" with my son, Jack. I constantly criticized her for having "no maternal instinct" or "being incapable of dealing with real world issues". When our weekends weren't consumed by Jack, I was dragging her on some ridiculous adventure of my choosing, often with little regards to what she actually wanted to do. While Elise did not pay any rent, which I had agreed to in order to allow her to devote her income to attending college, I began to resent her for it. Like seriously. What in the actual fuck is wrong with me. The wedge between us was only drove deeper by time, and my own selfish actions. It's worth mentioning too that her family HATED me. They viewed me as trash, which, in itself didn't bother me. It was when her mother reached out to me and told me that she would pay Elise's full tuition if I stopped seeing her. That was really the straw on the camel's back. This is important later on.
Fast forward towards the end of the last year. My selfish bastard energy had peaked at this point, and Elise was mentally and emotionally shelled, from working full time, attending college full time, and dealing with me being the narcissistic ass I was. I was angry because I felt she was trying to drive a wedge between my son and I (a wedge that, later in life I discovered I had been driving myself due to my own harbored resentment against my child and his mother because I blamed them instead of myself for jipping me out of college and consigning me to the rest of my life as an "idiot blue collar worker"). I feel so stupid looking back, as I now realize that it was entirely my fault, and I should have just accepted that instead of blaming my mistakes on everyone around me. Anyhow, the tension finally snapped. We got in a HUGE fight, which is significant, because we never really fought. All of my bottled up anger and depression and everything else spewed out as I shouted and hurled insults like some sort of half-witted drunkard, and halfway through, I realized that my anger scared the absolute shit out of her. It was in that moment, it was like that scene in a cartoon where the imbecilic character finally manages to understand a simple concept. I realized that while I had been so busy blaming everyone around me for my lack of success, it was actually all my fault. Meanwhile, Elise's lack of success actually COULD be blamed on me. I was the one holding her back. It was because of me she couldn't get college funding from her parents and had to work so hard to pay for it. It was my lack of consideration that had always prevented her from adopting animals, or even taking her opinion seriously when I bought the house, with only my best interests in mind. It was my decision to constantly try to force her to fill a "stepmom" role that somehow I had just realized was taking away from her ability to actually pursue her own interests and hobbies. In all reality, it all just kind of hit me. I hated myself. I mean truly hated myself to the core. Some part of me came to the realization that she would be better off without me. Her parents would pay for her school. She could get a degree, a good job, chase her passions... in the end, it was me who broke it off. I just felt it was the right thing to do at that point, rather than drag her down in the black hole of ME. I still remember the evil smirk her mother gave me and she helped pack Elise's things in the back of her car. Not wanting to leave Elise high and dry, I gave her the car we had bought together, which wasn't much, but it was reliable so she could go to school or work or whatever. I also gave her a highly modified 4x4 we had built together. Figured it was hers anyhow, and she could sell it for a decent amount of money if need be.
Fast forward a little bit. Shortly after Elise and I ended things, I met someone else. She seemed equally sweet, and was somewhat attractive. I could not have been more wrong. We'll call her Carrie. She proved to be a raging alcoholic, and ironically, treated me exactly how I treated Elise, but tenfold worse. She was far more narcissistic than I ever thought about being. She would get drunk and ruin my things, throwing my clothes in the yard, breaking my stuff, etc... and would often insult me. She teased that I was smart because I "Must be autistic, and that means I'm some sort of retard", or telling me that I'm a terrible father because I don't fight to see my child more, and I should just give up custody. She told me once that "no matter how hard I work, I'll always be the same trash that came from that trailer park as a child" ...I was still in such a fragile mental state, I just... let it happen. Honestly, a part of me believed I deserved it. I am Agnostic, but still in the back of my head I couldn't help but wonder, "Is God real, and is this his way of punishing me?" I sold my house and moved into a crappy apartment far from my hometown. Honestly I just couldn't handle all the memories of what it had used to be such a happy place but had now turned into a hell I just wanted to escape. I lost my job, and had to take a much harder job for significantly less pay. Carrie had cleverly used my depression to manipulate me and isolate me from my friends, avoid mending bridges with my family, and escalated my custody to the point that I actually lost what little I did have. I was broken. No, I was absolutely shattered. ....but hey, I deserved it, right? I felt so bad about how I had treated Elise that I convinced myself I did. I'd simply cry myself to sleep and try to hold on to whatever happy memory I could of our life together.
It all changed one day. I hit "point fuck it". I had loaded my Mossberg 12-gauge, racked a single shell, and put the weapon to the underside of my chin. I pulled the trigger.
*click*
.
.
.
The gun had jammed. Or misfired. Or SOMETHING. But whatever had happened, it did not fire the shell loaded into it's chamber. About then I heard Carrie open the front door to the apartment. From the bedroom, I quickly hid the gun under a pile of laundry, and lept into bed, pretending to be asleep but silently sobbing into the pillow. I remember thinking to myself "If you're out there, God, than fuck you."
Fast forward to PRESENT DAY. If you've read this far, thank you. Seriously.
Following the gun incident, something snapped in me, for the better. I started talking to a therapist (in secret, because I knew it would be a weakness Carrie would exploit to insult and degrade me). I have began to get my shit together, and bought a small home. Shortly after buying the home however, I landed a new job. This is where everything got really crazy. The new job was at a dumpster fire of a company. I quit after 30 days. When I informed my supervisor, he was shocked. I got called into a meeting (which I agreed to) with some guys I'd never seen before, and they began asking me why I wanted to quit so quickly after joining the team. I calmly began to explain everything I thought was wrong with the company. How I could predict based on my own daily gross profit that the entire business must be losing money at an alarming rate, and close to going under if they aren't there already. How management was spineless to make improvements, dismiss toxic employees, etc... This went on for several hours. At the end of it all, a tall man stands up and says, "Do you know who I am?". I sheepishly admit that I don't. "I'm one of the owners of this company". I chuckle nervously. Then he looks me dead in the eyes, and says "You're absolutely right, you know. I can tell by talking to you, you're FAR more intelligent than I would have ever guessed. How would you feel about actually making all the changes you just talked about? How would you feel about running this store?" I. WAS. FLOORED. Needless to say, I didn't think I could do it. But a year later, I've now got the store breaking records for profits. I've got a paycheck that looks like somebody fat-fingered the keyboard, and the owners LOVE me. I've went on to get everything I ever wanted- almost. I've got a vacation cabin with a side-by-side (and even a small one for my kid), I'm mending relations with friends and family, I've continued talking to a therapist (who REFUSES to give relationship advice), I've got a nice truck and drive a luxury car, but, no matter how many material things I buy, there is still a hole inside. The same hole that has been there for the last 3 years. Carrie is still around. She got sober about a year ago, and cleaned up her act. We've been mostly issue free for a year, but somehow, I just don't know if I can ever forgive the horrible things she has done. She's asked about proposal and marriage, but when she does, I get this feeling in my heart and stomach that feels like pure bottled concentrated fear. I still have nightmares about her honestly, and sometimes, on REALLY good nights, I have dreams that Elise and I are together again, in a beautiful home with a beautiful family.
In conclusion, I've got one more really tough choice to make. I could accept Carrie has changed, and lead out my life with her, knowing I will always secretly have a hole inside where Elise used to be. I have no idea where Elise actually is in life now. I hope she graduated college. I hope she found happiness. I know through the small town grapevine that she never did end up settling down with anyone, for whatever reason. Honestly, I wanna take the risk. Even if I fail, at least I can say that I tried. Hell, maybe I'd be able to finally move on after all this time. In doing so, I know I'll burn Carrie's bridge for good, and honestly, part of me doesn't care. Even If she was horrid to me, however, I still can't bear the thought of possibly hurting her. I guess my experiences have made me soften up, arguably a bit too much. So here I sit, on a company paid vacation near the beautiful beaches, bills paid, belly full... ...so why the hell do I still feel so damn empty inside?
All I know is that I've come too far to blow it all now.