Anime guy with bandages

/r/Anime

2008.01.25 06:10 /r/Anime

Reddit's premier anime community.
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2018.05.09 08:12 Kanojo Okarishimasu - Rent-A-Girlfriend - KanoKari

Kanojo Okarishimasu - Rent-A-Girlfriend - KanoKari. The largest subreddit to discuss the popular manga 'Kanojo, Okarishimasu' (Rent-A-Girlfriend), written by Miyajima Reiji.
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2021.03.28 04:29 skyler-naknoon 8Daze

Anime/Memes/Tea/Drama/Weekly Puzzles/Commentary/Shitpost/Anarchy/Some other shit Central No rules No mods go crazy (btw anyone can post even a guy with low karma) Basically 4Chan Join 4 free milk and cookies 😋😁👌 Post flare groups: Brown = memes Red = art Blue = discussions Also you can change your user flare Branches: 8Templates: https://www.reddit.com/8Templates/
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2023.06.09 03:55 throwaway18687587539 How often do you visit your partner?

I'm currently in a long-distance relationship with a guy I met on a dating app a year ago. He's from Lebanon but lives in Texas, and I'm from New York. We haven't met in person yet, but we talk to each other on video calls. When we first met, I asked him if the distance would be an issue, and he said let's not rush things and see if we're compatible first. I agreed, and we started talking. I thought we'd talk for a month or two and then meet in person, but that didn't happen. I have offered to visit him many times in the past, but he always says no because he works 7 days a week and has no time to hang out with me. It's tough for him since he's an immigrant and he’s not legally authorized to work here in the US, in spite of the fact that he has a bachelor's degree in law. As a result, his job options are limited to working off the books. He's a receptionist in an apartment complex, and the sole provider for his family. He lives with his parents and younger brother, and his parents don't speak much English, making it difficult for them to find work. I've asked him several times if I could fly over to Texas and see him, but he always says no. We've been together for almost a year now, and being away from him is getting increasingly more and more difficult. He told me 3 months into the relationship that he would try to find a job here in New York and move north, but it’s been months since then and I’m starting to loose hope. We’ve been together for at least a year now and he hasn’t made any progress with finding a job up north, and I truly have no idea what the future holds for us. In the beginning when we first met I had no idea that a year later I’d still be waiting to meet him for the first time. I’d just like to get a frame of reference for how often couples in a long distance relationship should be seeing each other in person so I can figure out whether or not this will be sustainable in the longer term. How often do you visit your partner?
Edit: For those of you who asked, I am half white, half Indian. My dad is white and my mom is Indian, they met online. I was born and raised in America. There are some cultural similarities between India and Lebanon, but there are also differences as well.
Edit: I would also like to add that both his family and mine are Christian.
Edit: Also I should add that he and his family live in a small apartment and he shares a room with his brother.
submitted by throwaway18687587539 to LongDistance [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:54 Wuberg4lyfe Options for homemade printing and family's printing shop

Didn't see much in Faq about printing at shop
Family member is a manager at a printing shop. They have the ability to do cards, if supplied a pdf.
I also have a laser printer:
Brother hl 3170cdw
And an inkjet printer:
Epson ET-2850
I'd like to print some mostly worthless cards for an Invasion block cube, so the proxy guys here don't seem great for that. They seem more for recent cards or alpha/beta.
Anyone have experience in what card stock to use if went with printing shop? If not, and printing at home, what wpuld be better laser or inkjet? What best paper? Is it fools errand to try to print on thick paper because might still require putting over basic land?
submitted by Wuberg4lyfe to bootlegmtg [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:54 Leather-Enthusiasm78 You guys driving around with all the smoke from Canada?

Thanks Canada😡
submitted by Leather-Enthusiasm78 to UberEATS [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:53 Oddpeculiarduck Career Choices

Hi, Sorry for the long post. I wanted some feedback from PMHNPs and how you guys enjoy your current work/pay/life balances with being a PMHNP vs psych RN.
I’m currently in a position to join a pmhnp fellowship that pays 60k for a year of training at a really good medical college. I’m new to this field so I know it’s a great opportunity. However my current job as a RN is one of those rare things you sometimes hear about (great manager, great team, flexible schedule, and pretty good pay).
To be more specific, I’m currently at a psych facility where a shift usually consist of a 30 minute med pass and the rest of the time spent engaging (playing cards, watching TV) with my patients. If I work 60-70 hours a week over a 4-5 day period.. I can make 160k-195k a year. Benefits are amazing, I get 120 hours vacation, 100 hours of misc PTO time, and 64 hours of sick time.
I guess my dilemma is do I want to leave this job for an opportunity as a PMHNP. I liked clinical but sometimes I get anxiety thinking every day I would see 12-16 patients.. with some of them not having good prognosis. Also money wasn’t a factor before.. but after having this RN job and never making this kind of money before.. it’s tough for me to leave.
Any thoughts/advice would be extremely helpful!
submitted by Oddpeculiarduck to PMHNP [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:53 shroomhugger [Actives] What is this WEIRDness

[Actives] What is this WEIRDness
Found this lil guy growing cap first, and actually attached at the cake, with a mini mush growing from the stem… backwards mutation or witchcraft?!
submitted by shroomhugger to MushroomGrowers [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:53 Dramatic-Poem9978 WILDFIRE AIR CRISIS ORGANIZATION

Hello everyone! I'm reaching out to connect with co-founders or individuals who are interested in making a difference and contributing to a cause that is of utmost importance—addressing the urgent issue of climate change.
Recently, we have witnessed the devastating impact of the Canada wildfires, as the smoke rapidly spreads across various regions, significantly affecting air quality in areas like Virginia, New York, Pennsylvania, and beyond. As a resident of Northern Virginia myself, I was truly shocked to step outdoors and see the fog that surrounded the area . Climate change is real you guys. And this isn’t the first instance. This has been an ongoing issue.
It is disheartening to see that many people still don't fully grasp the urgency and seriousness of climate change. That's why I believe it's crucial to spread awareness and educate our communities about the importance of taking action. We need to emphasize that climate change affects not only our immediate environment but also the well-being of animals and fellow humans who suffer during these catastrophic times.
To address these challenges and make a positive impact, I have outlined a few initiatives that I intend to pursue and welcome collaboration and support from like-minded individuals:
  1. Providing support to vulnerable communities: One of the immediate steps we can take is to assist those affected by climate change impacts, such as organizing meal provisions at local shelters and conducting clothing drives. We can also establish partnerships with organizations dedicated to supporting individuals experiencing homelessness or facing food insecurity.
  2. Fundraising events and campaigns: Raising funds to support local charities and initiatives that directly address community needs is another powerful way to make a tangible difference. By organizing fundraising events and campaigns, we can contribute to projects focused on climate resilience, sustainable practices, and helping communities adapt to changing environmental conditions.
  3. Advocacy and awareness-building: We need to amplify our voices and raise awareness about the impact of climate change on our communities. By educating others, we can inspire positive change and encourage individuals to become active participants in addressing this global crisis. We can organize awareness campaigns, workshops, and community events to engage people in meaningful discussions and actions.
It's important to note that climate change has been an ongoing issue for years, and it's disheartening to see that governments often fail to prioritize our best interests.
I was worried that I shouldn’t do anything because I can’t make a big enough impact as a freshman in college. But I think that’s far from the truth. I need your help. Your support, whether through volunteering, donations, or spreading awareness, will be invaluable in our journey towards a better world. Let's create the change we wish to see.
PM me if you’re interested!
submitted by Dramatic-Poem9978 to summerprogramresults [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:53 meeeooowwwwwwwwww Oracle Readings ⭐️💛

Hey guys ⭐️
Today I’m offering oracle readings to you all! It can be any topic (just no spirit contact) or question, and I will decide how many cards to pull after I connect with your energy.
This is a pay what you can offer, amount will not affect the quality of the reading. Payment comes prior to the read, and you must be 18+ for this. You will receive your reading as a YouTube video of the card pull and my first impressions, a poster of your spread and the specific cards I drew, and a more in depth text interpretation sent in chat.
Looking forward to reading for you all! Comment your best friend’s star sign for a reading, I’m taking one request from this post. ⭐️💛
Please do not DM, I will DM you.
💛 Reviews ⭐️ Ethics ⭐️ Rules 💛
submitted by meeeooowwwwwwwwww to MeowTarot [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:52 danteavious 😂

😂 submitted by danteavious to BruceDropEmOff [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:52 Ill-Acanthaceae3805 23 M lookin for friends with same interests

Wants some friends to spend time with &share interests ( anime , gaming, cookin , deep convos , jokes , psychology and working out)
submitted by Ill-Acanthaceae3805 to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:52 Aggressive-Series-67 Lifespans

Hello! I love rats, and had a rat as a child, and I’ve really been wanting to get another one. However I am afraid to adopt a rat and get really attached to it only for it to die after a year or two, because they have much shorter lifespans than dogs or cats. How long of lifespans have y’all’s rats had? I saw someone on here say that they had a rat that lived to be 4 years old, and if that was possible for all rats then I might actually get one of my own. Any input is very much appreciated. I am by myself with a very docile cat, so all my money goes to us and I can very easily afford another animal. ALSO if there are any rat adoption places in the south that people can recommend that would be great (I’d rather not give petco or any of these other chain pet places anymore money than I have too, I hate how they treat their store animals).
submitted by Aggressive-Series-67 to RATS [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:52 Own_Hovercraft_6380 How much luck is involved in snooker?

I read a comment saying technique (cue action, posture and delivery bascially) is overrated. The guy then lists many players and showed how different their cue styles are showing technique dosent matter much, implying there's a lot of luck at play.
Somene replied, there is luck but not enough where you attribute it to losing whole tournaments. Which made sense at first but if you take it frame by frame it does seem like theres luck with every shot, might get unwanted spin or power and mess up the position. One could have a 50+ lead and get unlucky and lose frames repeatedly then losing the match.
I watch snooker regularly but haven't played in years so might be incorrect in my judgement. But the whole thing started by someone saying, "bad players have won a lot more than good players", implying its luck at the highest level because everyone can pot in ranked.
Thoughts?
submitted by Own_Hovercraft_6380 to snooker [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:52 meretastic Does anyone else have a problem with getting over-invested in other people's lives? Especially friends/family/loved ones?

I have some very close friends who have made some pretty wild choices recently. Like, really questionable decisions that are life-altering, which I guess is what your early twenties are for. But I find myself getting so physically upset/baffled with the choices they're making that I lose sleep over it 😭
Essentially, how do you guys mind your business? It's so hard to not give my friends unsolicited advice bc of my poor impulse control, so I end up being a condescending, know-it-all mom-friend (ugh). That or I bottle it up and get so stressed about it internally. I know they're making some questionable decisions, but it's their lives so that their right! And it really doesn't affect me, so how do I stop caring so much?
TL;DR: Not my circus not my monkeys? Well, actually, the world is my circus and I'm personally responsible for every monkey 😀
submitted by meretastic to adhdwomen [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:52 dezincpeliasjj08 Best First Cycle? (Bloodwork Included)

Best First Cycle? (Bloodwork Included)
Hey everyone,
I'm 31, male, 6'1, and 200 pounds with around 22% body fat right now. I have been lifting for about 12 years, with some very heavy powerlifting for a few years in there. I've since stopped power lifting, and want to get leaner and more vascular. I don't want a crazy bodybuilder cycle to make a Tik Tok transformation video, but something to remove some brain fog, give me more energy, help me sleep at night, and increase strength + lean muscle. I'm okay with playing the "long game" and cycling less potent options, as I'm looking for a lifetime of fitness and not necessarily a few years of absolute beast mode followed by a meltdown.
I currently take creatine, animal pak multi vitamins, fish oil, and pre-workout (caffeine+NO).
I'm fine with injections or oral applications.
Let me know if you need any more info! Thanks so much!
Here is my blood work from a few weeks ago:
https://preview.redd.it/w8m11eshew4b1.png?width=773&format=png&auto=webp&s=aa73230e6a7a0f44b5c67c393e3d26403e276a0e
https://preview.redd.it/1p2atdshew4b1.png?width=763&format=png&auto=webp&s=6c9c335900a5533cdfa31f55215dc4f6174d2f81
https://preview.redd.it/m95ybfshew4b1.png?width=752&format=png&auto=webp&s=b552d837571c84327eb9f8d60bd0dcd9523623e3
submitted by dezincpeliasjj08 to steroidify [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:52 Kristylane Disclosure omissions

To be clear, I am going to find a lawyer to get advice from, but until I can do that, I’m wondering if I actually have a case of any kind. Also, I’m in South Dakota.
So I bought a house on 11 acres last summer. In the fall, a guy from a timber company came up to my house and told me that we they are going to start logging on the property (60-80 acres) behind my house. And that they would be driving through my property to get there. This and that happened, and they just completed the logging. But before it started, the forester showed me the “agreement of right-of-way usage” that the previous owners had signed. In the disclosure, they did mark that there is an easement, but that only pertains to allowing the other property owners access - never any mention of the logging specific right-of-way. But none of that mattered at the time- I had no problem with the loggers. They were actually pretty delightful.
BUT NOW! I found out that the property behind me (the same 60-80 acre parcel that was logged) is actually a gold mine and the owner of that property is planing on starting mining operations. In fact, the owner of the mine (we’ll call him John) came to me and said that I should contact a real estate attorney because the previous owners did not disclose to me that the mine was going to be starting up. John absolutely guarantees that the previous owners were fully aware of this because he had had conversations with them about it. The previous owners marked “no” on the “aware of any current or pending… changes that could affect your property”
I don’t know much about mining, but I’m sure that a gold mine behind my house will make my home unlivable. Number one issue is that I’m on a well, so I’m assuming that they’ll run the aquifer dry (I do know that mining takes an enormous amount of water). Or maybe they won’t use all the water, but will poison the well. And there will be massive amounts of machinery that the miners will want to drive through my property. And blasting. Probably so much blasting. It’s not like the mining is starting in a week, it’s more of a 5-10 year plan.
So does this really sound like they lied by omission on the disclosure? I would not have bought this property if I had known about the mining. And if I do have a case, what could I possibly get out of it? My money back and give them the house back? Could I get more? A current value?
Any thoughts are greatly appreciated - along with any things that I should bring up to a lawyer so I don’t waste any of those precious consultation minutes.
submitted by Kristylane to RealEstate [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:52 leavemealone626 26 [F4R] Midwest/USA gonna be up late

Well another long shift with one hour to go out of 10. I'm bored and will be up late yet again. Interested In a chat. Nothing special honestly. I'm interested in cooking, baking, anime (inuyasha, dragon ball, Ranma, one piece, and mha), and videogames (l.o.z, fallout, bioshock, silent hill, resident evil, stardew valley, etc) I've got alot to do today and tomorrow by the time I get out I'd work to Saturday for my cousins wedding. I also love music and am looking forward to seeing fallout boy this month! If you've made it this far and have actually read my post tell me a joke. I'm five foot 4 with purple hair glasses and a crazy schedule lol
submitted by leavemealone626 to r4r [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:52 JadinAmber Multiple Disturbing Nightmares

TW: Talk of ShapeShifters and Mutilated Animals

Last night I woke up at least 7 times, and EVERY time I fell back asleep I had a different nightmare. I can only readily remember two at this point, but they were probably some of the most eerie and disturbing nightmares I've had.

1. I was looking at the sliding glass door at the back of my parents house. Just sitting there staring out of it. It was night time. I was alone. The whole time I had a horrible gut-dropping, dreadful feeling that I KNEW something horrible/dangerous was about to come through those doors.

The second I remember:

2. I was back in my childhood bedroom, and was focused on the cage of the rats I used to have. One of my rats was looking at me through the bars like they used to do. I went over to look inside. The first time I looked, and they were both just in there in the corner sleeping. I looked away and came back, and saw the bloody skin of one of my rats layed out behind the two, and looked back at the two creatures laying there. One was my rat, the other was a tiny white baby goat curled up sleeping. I touched it and it woke up. I picked it up, and it stared right in my eyes and I got this horrible feeling as it started squirming in my hands. It was almost like it was screaming, but not making sound. Then as it stared in my eyes, its own eyes started to change. They morphed into these slightly bigger, glowing yellow green eyes with a horizontal slit across the middle. It stopped moving for a second and stared at me. I remember feeling unnerved but too confused to think of what to do next. Then it started thrashing and attacking me. I dropped it and it bounced and ran all around the room until it started heading for the cat door, and I forgot how scared I was and thought about how distraught I would feel if it escaped and my dogs tore it to shreds. So I told it that I didn't want that to happen, and it bounced around attacking me again for a while. Until I said "if you really want to leave that bad let me open the window". When I opened the window it flew out into my neighbor's backyard. The backyard had construction workers in it working on the house, and I watched it morph into one of the construction workers and walk around the back corner of my neighbor's house out of sight. Staring at me until the last moment. Then my childhood cat(who in real life has been deceased for a few years) caught my attention on the floor(he also was at one point the other, not flayed, rat in the cage). I tried to pick him up, but he also wriggled. I dropped him, thinking he was going to do the same thing as the baby goat. But he looked at me and had this weird morphed human face. I looked around for a second like "wtf" and went back to look put the window. The "cat" started talking to me. He comes up to the window next to me and is now a human. He dissappears from view and continues talking. He's telling me about a group of people that have been looking for that creature that went out the window. He said we should talk to them, and get them to check it out. But he was trying to think of a made up story to tell them, and said "No, that just sounds fake. I don't know what we should say". And I said "How about we just tell them what actually happened???" And he goes "Oh yeah... That could work" and then I wake up..........

Like I said, these weren't the only two nightmares I had last night. There were a lot. They're just the only ones stuck in my head enough that I haven't forgotten them. They were so incredibly eerie that I have no clue how my brain even came up with them??? Any idea on some sort of meaning in all of this?
submitted by JadinAmber to Dream [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:51 SeriousCitron7635 aggressive males are fighting a lot

aggressive males are fighting a lot
(photo for the rat tax)
my boys(2) have been getting more agressive recently, it happened last year at this same time as well, and i've noticed little wounds on them sometimes, but i don't think i have the money to neuter them, and i'm also not psyched about the idea of anesthesia cause i know it doesn't always go the best.
i'm mainly just wondering if there are any ideas you guys have that might help them be less aggressive or to be softer with each other at lesser, these are my first rats i've ever owned, and while i've had them for a while, i still need advice with things
submitted by SeriousCitron7635 to RATS [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:51 MrSt3alYourFace [QUESTION] Should my guitar be out in the humidity all the time while I’m a counselor at camp?

I’m going to be a sleepaway camp counselor this summer and want to bring my Yamaha fg800 so I can play it in my downtime. Since I’m relatively new at playing, I don’t know if it’s a good idea to have it pretty much outside (going to be in a tent or cabin-like area) all the time. Because I’m in Maryland, it’ll be pretty damn humid. Is this a dumb move? Should I find a place that’s temperature-controlled for it? It’s a pretty cheap guitar but I obviously don’t wanna ruin it if I don’t have to.
Also still thinking about bringing my squire Stratocaster but am worried about it and/or my equipment getting stolen or messed with so I’m still on the fence about it, so let me know what you guys think.
submitted by MrSt3alYourFace to Guitar [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:51 Certain-Choice-2214 Nightmare of someone staring at me

Okay so I just woke up, it’s around 3am, and I’m like completely panicking. I just had a nightmare which had my boyfriend and I outside in a park like area doing something when this older guy starts walking around the park. He’s walking very slowly and as he is making his way towards us I start to notice that he’s staring at us, he’s pissed. We try to ignore him but as he gets closer I start to lose my breath and I gasp as he walks behind me. In my dream I thought to myself like “oh my god this guy has terrible energy” and for some reason I clutch my wallet/purse because it felt like he was trying to take something from me. He passes us and continues to walk around the park without breaking eye contact with us. I’m terrified now because in the nightmare my boyfriend seemed to know him and told me to ignore him but I could feel his hatred so much that I my heart dropped. I felt so unsafe with this guy staring at us.
I woke up in a sweat and I’m really stressed out. I don’t recognize the park or guy in the dream. I’m a slightly spiritual person and the only other time I’ve had a nightmare that felt like this there was a clear message which helped me in the long run. I feel like someone gave me the evil eye or something.
submitted by Certain-Choice-2214 to DreamInterpretation [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:51 NarwhalsInJars Idea for Witchy Content - Interest check :3

So I've had an idea floating around in my head for a while, and was hoping for some feedback and a general interest check on it. I'm still very much a beginner witch, I've done some basic spells, have a few things that I do every full moon, and a little ritual at the beginning of each month, at this point, I consider myself an eclectic witch, I'm still in the mode of sucking up as much information as possible and trying the things that seem interesting to me.
Naturally, I've run across plenty of lists of "Types of witches," and "What kind of witch are you?" articles and blogs, and while I'm not super concerned about actually narrowing down my path right away, an idea did spring into mind to help me further study, expand my knowledge, and share what I'm learning as I go.
I'm thinking of starting some content along the lines of "30 days as a ________ witch," because there are so many different types of witchcraft out there. I'd do things like different types of elemental witches, cosmic witch, sun witch, green witch, kitchen witch, etc...What I'd like to do is do a tik tok for every day, showing little things I'm learning and incorporating into my craft, and then at the end of the month, doing a longer form video where I go over everything in a little more depth.
We've all seen those videos where people just list out different types of witches, and just vaguely explain what they do, so I thought it might be fun to get more in depth with it and actually show examples of how different types of witches actually focus on their specific interest in the craft.
I've got a pretty sizeable list of the different types of witchcraft I'd like to dive into, but I'd love to hear any suggestions you guys might have.
*Disclaimer - Yes, I'm a beginner, I'm not trying to showcase myself as an expert or anything, this is literally something that I thought would help me study more because I sometimes have a hard time holding myself accountable :3
submitted by NarwhalsInJars to witchcraft [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:51 yankeefreshdonkey One thing I can’t seem to get over

Okay, so I have come along way with RCJ. My wife and I have have the same body count but she had a lot more ONS that bothered me for a long time. I am over that now. The issue comes with this. She has a lot of sisters similar age. I asked early on if she hooked up with a guy that her sister has, she said no. It later came out that she actually did sleep with a guy her sister slept with. For some reason this really bothers me. I know there’s nothing wrong with her past but I can’t deny this bothers me. Please help! For me sex was about connecting and for her it’s not. Even now it’s a chore for her and not connection.
submitted by yankeefreshdonkey to retroactivejealousy [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:51 Wolfygamer29 I'm Directionless in Life and I Can't Seem to See the Light

I'm 24(M). Afab but transitioned FtM as a teen. I have Autism, BPD, and ADHD. I've been suffering from depression from these combined problem since I was 14, though I struggled in life before that. I never got the proper help I needed with my ADHD and ended up getting my GED after dropping out at 16. I never went to college-I don't really see the point for the average person who isn't going into a medical feild or science or academic etc. feild. I wasn't diagnosed with autism until I was 19, and by then it was too late for any intervention to help. I go through life spending so much time masking I hardly know who I am, and I have one friend outside of my mother and grandmother-my cousin. I'm single, very solitary, and thanks to the autism I severely struggle to connect with, communicate with, and even just Meet new people. I'm not the brightest. Sure, I'm self aware and have decent common sense, but when it comes to just about anything that requires a quick wit, good memory, or academic knowledge, I just don't do well. Never have, especially in school. Got my IQ tested and got a lower than average score for a below average processing speed.
My hobbies and passions can be summed up as gaming, writing, drawing, youtube, and cats. I have an okay job, above minimum wage but not very high, full time, night shifts, 40 hour work week. I have a car, its crummy but I have one. Got my license at 23. Smoke weed and drink alcohol to feel good before I go to bed at night, hide the alcohol from my family though. I'm not dependent (yet) but I know I'm heading down that slippery slope, I just can't compell myself to stop.
I never had an idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up, as a kid. After I grew out of the usual responses (I wanna be a wolf when I grow up!) it fell rapidly into a whole lot of... oh... I don't know...
I love animals. Most animal oriented careers though... don't think I've got skin tough enough for that shit, heartbreaking stuff a lot of the time. Heartwarming stuff too, but I could never handle the heartbreaking stuff. I love video games, but I just don't have the brains and skills needed to design or make them. Would never do art as a career, I wanna keep loving it-I know I'd learn to hate it if I had to do it to survive.
I'm what my cousin calls a "Pessimistic nihilist." I follow the concept that in the grand scheme of things there is no such thing as a great cosmic purpose and no inherent meaning to being alive. I know that some people honest feel better knowing that, but I guess that's where the pessimism comes in. For me, it makes it worse, honestly, because I have a hard time giving myself purpose. So the fact that, inherently, there is not purpose to life in the first place just makes it all the tougher to slog along.
I've worked retail, worked on farms, even worked taking inventory for retail companies. My current job is a pretty lazy job working night security for a coprorate building. Mostly just watching cameras, walking around, and watching TV. Pays better than any of the other jobs I've had, ironically...
I don't want to do this forever, though. I want to do something with purpose, something where I can have a house one day.
The thing is... I don't see that happening. I don't see myself as capable of having a purpose. All this time, slogging through the bullshit of life with a permanently malfunctioning brain, I'm tired. I haven't even glimpsed a sense of purpose yet, and I get it. I get that it's supposed to be 'normal at this age.' But I just don't know if I've got it in me. I'm pretty damn skeptical that theres a light at the end of my tunnel. And if there is, and it's just so far away I can't see it yet? I don't know if I have enough Go left in me to make it there. Wherever there is meant to be. A lot of people never find a purpose. I fear I'm one of them. I don't know what to do. Living in my bedroom, in my grandmother's house, lonely, isolate, depressed. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up, I'm just tired of this hopelessness. And it's almost scary, because I don't know what to do anymore. With every step I take in life, I feel further and further away from meaning something to anyone-even just myself. I want to be happy. I want to succeed. But I've worked so hard and got so... not far. I think I'm too slow. Could never keep up with my peers, socially or academically. And it's just getting worse as I get older. I lag further and further behind the people around me, I accomplish less and less, and I'm still practically a kid, as far as most older folks will tell me. And yet I'm exhausted. So I just don't know what to do.
Feels like I'm standing on a rope suspended high in there air, and I can't see anything under me. The only way off it is to jump, but if I jump I don't know where I'm gonna land. Don't know if there's a net, don't know if it'll be a leap of faith or a suicide, don't have the energy in me to walk the rope anymore, though. All turned around, too, so if I did walk that rope I could easily just end up back at square one. Or just fall off anyway.
I need help. I'm on medication, been in therapy since I was a teen. But I'm lost. Seems like it's only getting worse, even with all that help. I don't know what I need... but I need something. Cause sometimes, when I wake up... I find myself hoping there isn't a net under that metaphorical rope, and that if I jump it can just be over. I want to get better. I don't know if I can.
submitted by Wolfygamer29 to DecidingToBeBetter [link] [comments]