Kia telluride cargo tray

Girls: Izzy
Boys: Ezekiel, Mal
Episode 24: Hawaiian Style
A riff from an electric guitar opened the episode, the scene fading into a close-up of a spinning blue globe. As the camera moved up across Africa and Europe, the words 'TOTAL' and 'DRAMA' appeared in white block letters with a flash, moving up at an angle to make room for 'WORLD TOUR' in two additional rows of larger letters. One final word, 'AFTERMATH', appeared below it in a shower of stars, and as the theme music reached a tentative low the gleam from the words took over the whole screen.
XXX
Izzy, Sadie, Noah, and Mal grabbed a swan boat, and moments later, the boats splashed down into a river running through a hilly forest.
XXX
The music entered a low point as the title screen was shown again, the words flaring up once more to transition to the next clip.
XXX
Ezekiel Clone sniffed the air. He perked up and the camera cut briefly to the still berry-covered Owen washing up then back to him. The clone took the opportunity and launched himself at the fun guy and attacked him.
XXX
A few laughs were heard and the Aftermath theme renewed itself, the title screen flaring up for a third time.
XXX
Mal, Topher, and Sadie raced down the Wall as the camera panned down to show them moving faster. Sadie unknowingly skated towards the mine, causing her to be blown off the wall with a yell.
XXX
The title screen showed up for the final time.
XXX
Topher slipped on the puddle of oil, forcing him to land on his back while the cake splattered on the floor candle first.
The camera quickly panned rightward to the door at the side of the plane; it slammed open and countless animals ran out – a sasquatch, a bear, a horse, a seal, a duck, a bunch of rats and chipmunks, and Ezekiel Clone at the front of it.
The resulting explosion was shown from about a mile away, and the light completely enveloped the once-peaceful nighttime scene.
XXXXX
The Aftermath's title sequence played once more, earning another round of applause from the unseen audience as the episode began.
"Hello, everyone!" the voice of Josh spoke out, walking in to a close-up shot of what looked like the host's couch in an outdoor set. "Welcome, to Total Drama Aftermath! We are coming to you guys live from the beautiful tropical shores of Hawaii!" The camera zoomed out. As he'd said the main parts of the Aftermath set had been transplanted to a beautiful white-sand beach, a smoking volcano off in the background. Two-tiered couches had been set up on either side like usual, but unlike usual, both held members of the Peanut Gallery: the left had Brick, Courtney, Cody, and Heather on the top row, Lightning, Jo, Amy, and Rodney on the bottom; the right-hand couches had Lindsay, Sky, and Shawn on the top, Beth, Harold, Duncan, and Ella on the bottom. Luna and Ron were also seated next to Ella.
"After traveling all around the world this season," Josh continued, "we had to wrap it up with a big shot of paradise. And I'm not relaxing on this beach by myself. Let's give a big welcome to our Peanut Gallery!" The audience cheered, the camera cutting from one half of the gallery to the other as the former contestants there smiled and waved to varying degrees.
"We've two episodes left before we declare this season's million dollar winner!" Josh said enthusiastically. "And it's going to happen right here."
He paused for a few seconds for the applause to die down, then continued. "First things first, we have to say hello to a few people who were boot off the show. Please welcome," he motioned to the side, "Noah, Sadie, Owen, and Eva!"
The crowd cheered again as the four were shoved into view by an unseen intern. "Why are we all being introduced at the same time?" Sadie asked.
"We're doing things differently today," Josh answered.
"Tell me we don't have to sing," Eva said. "I'm tired of raising my voice."
"We'll get to that soon enough," Josh told him. "But first, I want to ask you guys something." He cleared his throat. "Are any of you wondering why I'm here today instead of Blaineley as usual?"
"To be honest, yes," Shawn answered. "You haven't been in the past aftermath episodes."
"Did Blaineley get her job back or what?" Duncan asked impatiently.
"She definitely did, but that's not why she's absent today," Josh said. "She's out sick today, so I'm here to fill in for her."
"I do hope she gets better soon," Ella said with sympathy as she nurtured Ron and Luna.
"So do I," Sadie agreed as she sat down next to Ella, who frowned harder at her. "Are you not going to talk to me?"
"We'll talk after this episode is done. As for now, don't bother me," Ella said sternly.
Sadie sighed miserably, and even when Luna and Ron glared at her, her expression didn't change.
"I deserved that," she mumbled to herself.
"Hey Josh, don't forget to talk about Dawn and how she's stuck in Siberia," Harold reminded the man.
"I was getting to that," Josh continued. "Last episode, Dawn was nursing a wounded bear in Siberia. Thankfully, the bear's all better now!" he said brightly before frowning. "Sadly, the airport officials wouldn't let her fly home since she only had Blaineley's passport."
"Me and Shawn rented a helicopter to locate and find Dawn," Jo told the host.
"Thanks for that," Josh said as a quick aside. "The wait is over!" he said brightly, pointing dramatically off into the distance.
The crowd cheered as a green helicopter was shown approaching high over the set. Dawn leaned out the side door and waved at the camera, then called out "Hello! I'm so happy to see all of you!"
The bear from Siberia poked its head out as well, and the crowd gasped. "Behind you!" Harold cried in warning.
Dawn looked at the bear, then back at the crowd. "Don't worry about Bruno!" She and the bear quickly ducked back into the helicopter as it descended. A ladder was thrown out, and Dawn used it to climb down and land on the sand.
"Are you ready to return to co-hosting?" Josh asked Dawn. "Blaineley's sick in bed, so I'm taking over for her."
"Okay," Dawn agreed and was going to shake hands with Josh, only for heavy plodding footsteps to herald a strong right hook at Josh from the bear, who had apparently landed on the beach without issue.
The audience and gallery gasped and shrieked in shock. "Bad Bruno!" Dawn scolded the bear. "We don't hurt people, remember?" The bear hung his head in shame.
"He's gotten possessive of me ever since I fixed his paw," Dawn explained as Josh rubbed his face. "But he's really sweet and protective... as long as no one gets within three feet of me."
"How are we supposed to host if that bear is in our way?" Josh asked.
"We'll figure something out, don't worry," Dawn told him. "But right now, let's get back to hosting."
"The Peanut Gallery will soon have a say in who's gonna get the million bucks," Josh said as the crowd clapped.
"That's good," Eva spoke up, the shot cut to the left half of the gallery and revealed that she was in the top row while Owen was at the top. "I have some things I'd like to say about the Final Three."
"Mal can't win the finale," Owen added. "He's the only evil player left!"
"That's if they can live long enough to compete," Shawn said with Noah in the top row. "How are they going to get out of Drumheller?"
"The number one cause of death in Drumheller is being stranded there!" Duncan claimed.
"Are we sure they'll be here for the finale?" Dawn asked her cohost.
"These guys are survivors," Josh said. "Look at Izzy. She's like a Total Drama cockroach."
"I thought that was Mal," Jo remarked.
"Maybe Izzy is Total Drama lichen," Shawn theorized. "The stuff that survives forever."
"My point is," Josh went on, "they'll find a way here one way or another, and it'll be exciting however it goes down!"
"So who does the Peanut Gallery think will win?" Dawn jovially asked the camera.
///\
[A stereotypically Hawaiian tune began to play as the camera zoomed in on the monitor set up over the hosts' couch, which was now showing an image of peanuts dancing on two sets of tiered couches with a question mark between them. The question mark enlarged as the lyrics began, transitioning the screen to something else.]
"Who you gonna root for? Who's it gonna be?"
[Dawn sang over an image of three slot machine windows amongst a field of question marks. The windows started on question marks as well, before they started spinning rapidly.]
"Is it Mal, Ezekiel, or will you pick Izzy?"
[As Dawn sang, the reels stopped from left to right as each contestant was called in turn, showing stock images of Mike, Ezekiel, and Izzy all smiling.]
"There's Izzy, she's the new girl, and she's been playing hard!"
[Dawn sang, appearing on screen and doing a hula dance wearing a grass skirt, a lei around her waist, and flowers in her hair. Behind her, the scene changed to black-and-white clips of Izzy, showing her diving into the water to swim to the flag in Sweden, then her talking to a lobster in Newfoundland.]
"But she is too bizarre! She'd have! To pay! A bodyguard!"
[Dawn added. The clips continued behind her, showing Izzy jumping from ice floe to ice floe in the Yukon, then finding her barrel of oil in Drumheller.]
"Who you gonna root for? Who's it gonna be?"
[Dawn dropped back out of the scene as another few short clips played: Mal fulling exposing himself in China, Ezekiel being knocked to the floor in Greece, and Izzy talking about game shows in Japan.]
"Is it Mal, Ezekiel, or will you pick Izzy?"
[Another trio of clips accompanied the next line, this time showing Mal smirking down while climbing the Statue of Liberty in New York, Ezekiel singing in the cargo hold in Egypt, and Izzy being stretched in London before the beat dropped.]
"Ricki-tick-ity, you're gonna hear it from me!"
[Harold popped up on the screen wearing a dark baggy sweatshirt and beanie over his normal attire, and a gold chain and sunglasses. The music became a smooth hip-hop beat as he rapped. The black-and-white montage naturally became Ezekiel specific: him watching his clone be created in Area 51, then him being thrown off the plane by Chris.]
"The only one winning this is our man, Zeke!"
[Both he and the montage continued: showing Ezekiel playing his harmonica in Australia, then climbing up to the condor in Rapa Nui.]
"Pimpin' like a king, sippin' lemonade in the shade!"
[The montage continued: showing him crossing the finish line with Ace in China, being stuck in quicksand in Africa, and pulling out the pieces of his gold bling in Germany.]
"Kickin' it Hawaiian style! Gonna take home the cheddar!"
[Harold stuck a flower in his hair as Ezekiel was shown almost admitting that he likes Sadie to Jo in Paris, then taping up the broken pieces of his bling in the Amazon.]
"We're gonna be all smiles!"
[He rapped over a clip of Sadie carrying Ezekiel across the tightrope in Niagara Falls.]
"Partay!"
[Harold said to the camera as the next clip consisted of Ezekiel and Sadie kissing.]
"Why does he get to sing?"
"He doesn't. Harold!"
[Ella, then Dawn were heard saying over a clip of Ezekiel thanking Ella for helping him in the Yukon.]
"Ricki-ticki-ticki-todelle, give it up for Ezekiel!"
[Harold rapped over clips of Ezekiel panicking over the plane turbulence in Jamaica and he and Sadie getting captured by the Ripper in London.]
"Harold's in the house spittin' rhymes that are viral, a-viral!"
[He rapped over a clip of Ezekiel holding on to the camel's butt in Egypt.]
"Give me the microphone! The song is over!"
[Dawn said as she snatched the microphone from the dweeb's hands, the montage was frozen on the camel scene.]
///
"Your rapping is good, but you can't hijack a song like that," Dawn scolded as the music ended and the shot cut back to the host couch, Harold walking back to his seat.
"Your singing voice is nice to hear though," Josh complimented.
"My father did say I have a gift!" Dawn said sweetly and shook his hand.
Bruno rose up from behind the couch, swiped down with his paw to separate the two, then smacked Josh all the way into the ocean.
The audience and gallery gasped in shock, and Dawn cried out "Josh!" in fear. She quickly turned a glare towards the bear, saying "Bruno! I told you, don't hurt innocent people!"
Bruno hung his head in shame under her glare, and he trudged over to the right half of the gallery. Most of the contestants that had been sitting there screamed and ran away, leaving only Beth paralyzed in fear in the bottom-left corner. Bruno took the seat behind her, and leaned over to sniff her.
"Maybe we can calm the bear down with something?" Sadie asked
"We can use kava tea," Shawn suggested as Bruno began to lick Beth's head. "Kava is a root the native Polynesians used to calm minds."
"Is it also an appetite suppressant?" Beth asked in terror as the bear continued to lick her.
"Before the Peanut Gallery hold up their flags to show who they're supporting," Dawn said as she resumed hosting and Josh rejoined her dripping wet, "let's see how our finalists stack up!"
She motioned back up to the widescreen as trading-card-like pictures of Mal, Ezekiel, and Izzy appeared on screen against a yellow starburst pattern, then rapidly spun around in a circle.
"Who has the best chance of taking home the cash?" Josh asked, smirking in anticipation before he and Dawn looked back at the camera. "Let's see who earned it the hard way, with some...!"
XXX
A bout of static cut the scene to an image of a white man in a full-body cast lying on a stretcher with his left arm in a sling. He was suddenly sent flying as an ambulance crashed into him, a deep voice announcing "Total Trauma!" over the blare of the siren, the shot pulling back to show Chef sitting on top of the ambulance in a male nurse's outfit.
XXX
"Ezekiel took a bit of a beating this season," Dawn began over a montage of clips showing Ezekiel getting knocked off the condor's nest by the mother condor then sucking his finger after touching an artificial in Area 51. "Most of it physical."
"He formed a relationship with Sadie and overcame most of his insensitivity," Josh continued over a clip of Sadie hugging Ezekiel in Paris. "But with Sadie out of the game," Sadie was shown catching her own parachute and Ezekiel was shown digging holes with Topher in Drumheller, "Ezekiel had to work with Topher."
"Ezekiel also has skills to fall back on," Dawn said, the montage cutting away briefly to show the moonchild nodding. The widescreen showed a stock photo of the young man. "Although he's the physically weakest of the finalists," the montage continued, showing Ezekiel getting covered in bandages in Egypt, "and ignorant about some things," the next clip was of Ezekiel believing Mal's lie in Jamaica, "he's easily the smartest of the Final Three," Dawn finished over a clip of him figuring out his team's saying in Newfoundland.
"All and all," Josh said as the camera cut back to the hosts, "I'd say he's got a chance. And he's definitely saner than our next competitor."
"Izzy also managed to avoid serious injury all season," Dawn said as the stock image of the psycho was shown. "What can we say? She's unstable," clips were shown of her falling into pudding in Niagara Falls, then hitting a pole and sliding down in New York.
The camera briefly returned to Josh as he said "Despite being new to the game, Izzy made a name for herself with his high IQ, friendships, and happiness." Halfway through the sentence the clips resumed, showing her taking charge in Sweden, forming Team E-Scope with Noah and Eva in London, and being dressed like a mummy in Egypt.
"Despite all we've mentioned, she isn't without her flaws," Dawn said. "Her attitude has gotten people annoyed with her on more than a few occasions," a clip was shown of her pressing buttons while Chef tried to stop her, "and she took this year's biggest makeover in Area 51." The clip reel changed to a long-distance shot of Area 51, and Dawn asked "Could we see that clip again?"
The feed cut to static, and Izzy was shown stepping out the chamber with her face looking like a clown.
"I remember that moment!" Cody said. "It took her all night to wash the makeup off."
"Even with her clown appearance, she's still more rational than Mal could ever be," Jo replied.
"Speaking of Mal," Dawn said, looking back up at the widescreen as it cut to another round of clips.
"No one really knew much about Mal when he first showed up," Josh continued as the clip of Mal's first appearance in the Yukon was shown, "but he quickly established himself as a ruthless competitor willing to do anything to make people suffer. Whether it's by throwing someone out of a plane," he was shown letting Owen fall from the plane, "throwing animals at someone," Mal was shown hurling a dingo at Cody, "or just being intimidating in general," he was shown threatening Ezekiel to be in first class, "Mal has been the vilest villain this whole game," the clips finished with Mal shoving Lindsay into a pole.
"Also," Dawn added as the shot cut back to the hosts, "raise your hand if he's the reason you're here now!" The camera cut around the Peanut Gallery, showing Duncan, Ella, Lindsay, Sadie, and Sky raising their hands on the right couch and Cody and Owen raising their hands on the left one.
"He's got all of the abilities of Mike's other personalities," Josh added over clips of Mal finding easter eggs in Rapa Nui, "and has avoided a few eliminations of his own," he finished over a clip of him surviving being eliminated in Africa.
"He's in the Final Three because of luck," Duncan scoffed.
"And if Topher didn't blow up the plane and get disqualified, he wouldn't even be there," Shawn added.
"Nothing seems to stop him," Josh claimed as the widescreen was shown in static, "even if he did get a swollen eye or get hoofed in the nuts." Clips of those instances happening in Rapa Nui and Greece played.
"But anyone can still win. It's too close to call," Dawn chimed. "Let's take a look at what could stop our finalists in their tracks." She motioned back up to the widescreen, which cut to another series of clips.
XXX
"Izzy's biggest weakness, aside from his insanity getting in the way, is her style of thinking," Josh said over a clip of Izzy going through the lasers in Paris.
"If she doesn't become fully aware of herself," Dawn added as clips of Izzy glowing from being inside a radioactive box in the Yukon were presented, "then she could wind up losing her pride and effectiveness."
XXX
"As for Mal," Dawn said as the clip montage moved to Mal talking to Topher in the Amazon and him giving away chowder in Newfoundland, "he is one of Mike's personalities, not the main one."
"If the final challenge triggers any of Mike's other alters," Josh added over Mal eating cake in China, "that could spell the end for Mal."
XXX
"And Ezekiel?" Dawn continued as the recap footage shifted to Ezekiel running with a panda in Japan. "I'd say his biggest weakness is his emotions."
"Agreed," Josh chimed in. "He's been working on his social skills," the montage continued on to show Ezekiel checking up on a tarred Topher in Drumheller. "But if he lets Sadie being eliminated get to him, he could very well do something drastic towards Mal," he finished over Ezekiel being faux complimented by Mal in Sweden.
XXX
"And here's where it gets interesting," Dawn continued as the static cut away back to her. "It's time for the Peanut Gallery to vote for their favorite finalists!"
\
The footage flashed ahead to a close-up of small flags bearing Izzy's face, the camera zooming out as the audience applauded to reveal them to be in the hands of Amy, Duncan, Eva, Lindsay, Noah, Owen, and Sky; they were now the only ex-contestants sitting on the left-side couches.
Cutting to the right-side couches revealed most of the rest of the cast sitting there holding Ezekiel flags: Beth, Brick, Cody, Courtney, Ella, Harold, Heather, Jo, Lightning, Luna, Rodney, Ron, Sadie, and Shawn.
"Figures nobody's a Mal fan," Duncan smiled, hurling all the Mal flags away.
"I don't see how Ezekiel can beat Izzy," Eva admitted. "He'd lose immediately in a fight against me while Izzy can fend me off for thirty seconds."
"But Ezekiel's the only finalist that hasn't gotten arrested or did something questionable," Shawn replied. "That has to count for something!"
The camera cut to Bruno as he walked up towards a nervous Beth with a red checkered bib around his neck. "Uh, is the tea ready yet?" she asked before Bruno roared.
The black male intern promptly arrived with a tea kettle and cup on a tray. "I'll take care of it," Shawn volunteered, grabbing the kettle off the tray. "I have some experience dealing with bears last season, especially hungry ones." He cleared his throat, then turned to face Bruno.
The bear roared again, but rather than flee, Shawn just shoved the kettle into his mouth, which immediately closed around the spout. Bruno blinked in confusion, then began to drink; he finished after a few seconds, took the kettle out of his mouth, and yawned contentedly.
"I still don't know how blessed I am to have you as my boyfriend," Jo said.
"After 44 days of traveling, Bruno can use some rest," Dawn talked to Josh.
"And he got it," Josh said, only to be interrupted by a roaring Bruno once again. The bear promptly fell asleep and dropped over onto Josh, pinning him to the ground as the audience gasped.
"Josh!" Dawn shrieked before noticing the camera still on her. "Err, coming up next, a few lucky members of the Peanut Gallery will face-off in an exciting surf challenge," she said quickly, "for a chance to win an advantage for their favorite finalist!" She nervously looked down at Josh.
"All that and more," Josh said, muffled by Bruno's sleeping head, "when we return on Total! Drama! Aftermath!"
"Can someone assist me here?!" Dawn asked as she tried to push Bruno off Josh herself and the audience applauded.
The show's title screen was shown again, the flaring letters leading in to the break.
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(Commercial Break)
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Hello! I’m being gifted a 2012 X3 sometime this summer. I’m looking into adding roof rails and crossbars and a cargo tray. Any ideas on where to shop for aftermarket parts?

This post is part of a series looking at the massive amount of 'rhyming' (and occasionally rhyming) recursivity I believe exists between (a) the homecoming of Petyr Baelish to the Fingers and (b) the homecoming of Theon Greyjoy to Pyke.
While this series/post can be read simply as a study 'for its own sake' of the curious recursion between these storylines, it is my belief that the 'rhyming' explored here between the stories of Petyr and Theon exists (at least in part) to foreshadow that, like Theon, Petyr Littlefinger, is (among other things) a scion of ironborn kings, because Petyr is Hoare-ish: I.e. because Petyr's blood is (in some part) the blood of the ironborn kings of House Hoare of Orkmont and, later, Harrenhal.
You can find an index of every post I've made on the topic of a Hoare-ish Littlefinger (including every post in this sub-series) [HERE].
Even if I'm wrong about Littlefinger's lineage, the 'rhyming' recursivity between the homecomings of Theon and Petyr detailed in this series remains, and certainly merits attention.
NOTE: In what follows, all uncited quotes are from ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Petyr's homecoming to his "Drearfort" tower of the 'Smallest Finger', or ACOK Theon I, which describes Theon's homecoming to "drear" Pyke.
As in past posts, I sometimes use "→" as shorthand for "'prefigures' and/or 'informs' and/or 'is reworked by' and/or 'finds a recursive rhyme in'.
As in: ACOK Theon I → ASOS Sansa VI.
This post picks up straight-away from where Part 8 left off. You can read Part 8 [HERE].
If you want to begin at the beginning, Part 1 is [HERE].

The Myraham's Prophetic Cargo

After Theon makes port, the captain of the Myraham announces his cargo to the people on the docks of Lordport and we read about the offloading of the Myraham:

"We're out of Oldtown," the captain called down, "bearing apples and oranges, wines from the Arbor, feathers from the Summer Isles. I have pepper, woven leathers, a bolt of Myrish lace, mirrors for milady, a pair of Oldtown woodharps sweet as any you ever heard." The gangplank descended with a creak and a thud. "And I've brought your heir back to you."

Most of what we read there seems to be reworked in and around Littlefinger's homecoming in ASOS Sansa VI, when the Merling King brings the Dreadfort its heir, Littlefinger, as well as the seeming heir to Winterfell, Sansa. This begins with the Arbor wine and fruit we see off-loaded from the Merling King:

Oswell made two more trips out to the Merling King to offload provisions. Among the loads he brought ashore were several casks of wine. Petyr poured Sansa a cup, as promised. …
… The wine was very fine; an Arbor vintage, she thought. It tasted of oak and fruit and hot summer nights, the flavors blossoming in her mouth like flowers opening to the sun. She only prayed that she could keep it down. Lord Petyr was being so kind, she did not want to spoil it all by retching on him.
… "Grisel," he called to the old woman, "bring some food up. … Oswell's brought some oranges and pomegranates from the King." …
Grisel reappeared…, balancing a large platter. … There were apples and pears and pomegranates, some sad-looking grapes, a huge blood orange.

Besides the straight repetition of Arbor wine, oranges, apples, and heirs, the repeated Oldtown motif is baldly reworked by Sansa's description of the wine, which is patently Oldtown-summer-esque, per the only substantive pre-AFFC description of Oldtown, which associates it with hot, fruity summer nights:

"King Maekar's summer was hotter than this one, and near as long. … [T]he heat was fierce while it lasted. Oldtown… came alive only by night. … I remember the smells of those nights, my lord—perfume and sweat, melons ripe to bursting, peaches and pomegranates, nightshade and moonbloom." (AGOT Eddard V)

The Myraham's "mirrors for milady" prefigure Sansa being figuratively groomed by Petyr and literally grooming herself in Petyr's Eyrie after he takes over:

When Gretchel fetched her Lysa's silvered looking glass, the color seemed just perfect with Alayne's mass of dark brown hair. (AFFC Alayne I)

The Myraham's "woodharps sweet as any you ever heard" presage Sansa being attacked by Marillion, whose "voice was strong and sweet", (AFFC Sansa I) after he sings a song (about blowjobs?) called "Milady's Supper" (supper a la the Myraham-ish fruit Sansa eats for supper when she lands) during Petyr's wedding bedding:

Lady Lysa's singer launched into a bawdy version of "Milady's Supper"….

The Myraham's "woven leathers" and "Myrish lace" are reworked into the "laces unlaced" i.e. unwoven during said wedding:

By the time they had gotten him into the tower and out of his clothes, the other women were flushed, with laces unlaced, kirtles crooked, and skirts in disarray.

That it's a "bolt of Myrish lace" is interesting: After Sansa boards the Merling King, she sees a singular "bolt" from a crossbow strike Dontos, and then two more:

Lothor Brune dipped his torch. Three men stepped to the gunwale, raised crossbows, fired. One bolt took Dontos in the chest as he looked up…. The others ripped into throat and belly. (ASOS Sansa V)

Three crossbow bolts? What does that remind us if not… a Myrish crossbow:

"The king is playing with his new crossbow," Tyrion said. Ridding himself of Joffrey had required only an ungainly Myrish crossbow that threw three quarrels at a time…. (ACOK Tyrion VI)

What about the Myraham's "pepper"? I suspect this gets box-checked first by Sansa trying not to "retch" as she is off-loaded along with the wine with which Littlefinger tries to settle her tummy, as just two chapters later peppers are tightly linked to "retching" of the sort Sansa feels like doing:

[Tyrion] found himself on his knees retching… that double helping of fried eggs cooked up with onions and fiery Dornish peppers. (ASOS Tyrion X)

GRRM seems to play off the "pepper" motif in other ways, as well. Consider that the gathering to meet the Myraham and the shouted questions that prompt her captain to announce her cargo—

A handful of Lordsport merchants had gathered to meet the ship. They shouted questions as the Myraham was tying up.

—get reworked by Petyr's household all gathering "to meet" the Merling King and by their peppering one another with questions:

Servants emerged from the tower to meet them; a thin old woman and a fat middle-aged one, two ancient white-haired men, and a girl of two or three with a sty on one eye. When they recognized Lord Petyr they knelt on the rocks. "My household," he said. "I don't know the child. Another of Kella's bastards, I suppose. She pops one out every few years."

She's a "popper", then, in case we didn't catch that retching → peppers. (This also reworks Theon "popping one off" with the captain's daughter, who is in many ways reworked by Kella, as will be discussed below.)

… [Petyr]… gave the old woman a kiss on the cheek and grinned at the younger one. "Who fathered this one, Kella?"
The fat woman laughed. "I can't rightly say, m'lord. I'm not one for telling them no."
"And all the local lads are grateful, I am quite sure."
"It is good to have you home, my lord," said one old man. … "How long will you be in residence?"
"As short a time as possible, Bryen, have no fear. Is the place habitable just now, would you say?"
"If we knew you was coming we would have laid down fresh rushes, m'lord," said the crone. "There's a dung fire burning."
"Nothing says home like the smell of burning dung." Petyr turned to Sansa. "Grisel was my wet nurse, but she keeps my castle now. Umfred's my steward, and Bryen—didn't I name you captain of the guard the last time I was here?"
"You did, my lord.…"
… Petyr gestured toward the fat woman. "Kella minds my vast herds. How many sheep do I have at present, Kella?"

A gathering, and questions, questions, questions, as when Theon docks.
Recall that Bryen and Umfred come from shore to offload Sansa (who's just been promised a cup of wine to help with her upset "tummy") from the Merling King's rowboat:

The two old men waded out up to their thighs to lift Sansa from the boat so she would not get her skirts wet.

This reworks the "shorehands… off-loading… casks of wine" from a Tyroshi trader docked with the Myraham—

[Theon] spied a Tyroshi trading galley off-loading…
Shorehands rolled casks of wine off the Tyroshi trader, fisherfolk cried the day's catch, children ran and played. A priest in the seawater robes of the Drowned God was leading a pair of horses along the pebbled shore, while above him a slattern leaned out a window in the inn, calling out to some passing Ibbenese sailors.

—which itself prefigures the above-quoted off-loading of the Merling King (when "Oswell made two more trips out to the Merling King to offload provisions" including "several casks of wine", from which Petyr immediately "poured Sansa a cup, as promised").

Kella & The Slattern

What about that "slattern lean[ing] out a window" to greet "some passing… sailors" while "children ran and played"? I submit that she is one of several motifs from Theon's homecoming prefiguring Petyr's servant Kella. I'll explain.
Consider that Petyr's servant Kella has many bastards i.e. children, popping one out every few years:

"I don't know the child. Another of Kella's bastards, I suppose. She pops one out every few years."

We only see one; presumably the others are off somewhere, running and playing, perhaps.
Kella happily greets Petyr as he comes ashore, much as Lordsport's slattern "call[s] out to some passing Ibbenese sailors". Note that the sailors on the Merling King are likewise 'passing' — passing through:

"From here the King turns east for Braavos. Without us."

Consider most of all that Kella's something of a slattern herself: She's "not one for telling them no".

"I can't rightly say, m'lord. I'm not one for telling them no."
"And all the local lads are grateful, I am quite sure."

Indeed, something Lysa says pretty clearly codes Kella as a verbatim "slattern", underlining the recursion:

"How would you like to spend your life on that bleak shore, surrounded by slatterns and sheep pellets?" (ASOS Sansa VII)

So I think the vignette with the slattern and the children in Lordsport pretty plainly prefigures Kella. But I think she's prefigured by two more pieces of Theon's homecoming.

Kella & The Captain's Daughter

Keeping in mind that Kella has a bunch of bastards ("she pops one out every few years) and that she's "not one for telling them no", consider also that she is (a) literally 'with child' — or rather, with a child—

a girl of two or three with a sty on one eye

—that she's (b) "fat"—

"Who fathered this one, Kella?"
The fat woman laughed.

—and that she's (c) coded as a bit stupid:

"Kella minds my vast herds. How many sheep do I have at present, Kella?"
She had to think a moment. "Three and twenty, m'lord. There was nine and twenty, but Bryen's dogs killed one and we butchered some others and salted down the meat."

All like Theon's "captain's daughter".
The captain's daughter is "plump", as Kella is "fat":

The girl was a shade plump for his taste…

She is likely pregnant with Theon's bastard, a la Kella the bastard-popper.
She tells Theon…

"You can put it in me again, if it please you…"

…and accedes to his request for a blowjob, so she's "not one for telling them no."
She thereby helps Theon 'pop one off', a la Kella "pop[ping] one out".
Like Kella, she seems a bit stupid:

She looked rather stupid when she smiled, but he had never required a woman to be clever.
The stupid girl did not seem to be listening.
She… learned quickly for such a stupid girl….
She looked at him stupidly, so he left her there.

And finally, she offers to work in Theon's castle—

I'd work in your castle, milord.

—just as Kella works for Petyr.

Kella: The Spreading Patch of the Smallest Finger?

Besides the "slattern" and the captain's daughter, I suspect Kella may also riff on — of all things — the "spreading patches" of "lichen" on "wet" Pyke as Theon sails by:

[Pyke was] wet by the same salt waves, festooned with the same spreading patches of dark green lichen, speckled by the droppings of the same seabirds.

Get it? A spreading 'patch'? In combination with "lichen" a la "licking" and Pyke being "wet"? And not just wet, but "wet by… salt waves", when as we know from the captain's daughter, semen tastes "salty", "like the sea". It's like Pyke is being described as a turned-on "slattern" with her legs spread.
A Hoare, we might say.
This connects to Kella, specifically because of her name: Kella is a near anagram for "kale", a dark green plant, like the "dark green lichen".
Actually, the name Kella may have anothere precursor in Theon's story: "Qalen", the maester Theon asks Helya about upon his arrival at Pyke:

"And what of Maester Qalen, where is he?"

Qalen would be pronounced Kalen. Qalen → Kalen → Kale → Kela → Kella. Anyway…

Grisel & The Captain's Daughter

Something similar is going on with Petyr's servant Grisel, the "thin old woman" who was his wet nurse but who "keeps [his] castle now":

"Grisel was my wet nurse, but she keeps my castle now.

Grisel is similarly prefigured by two people from Theon's homecoming, including first the captain's daughter who wants to work in Theon's castle as Grisel works in Petyr's "castle".
Consider first that Grisel, like the captain's daughter, seems slightly stupid (but eager to please), as she fails to grasp Petyr's sarcasm and takes his derisive joke about gulls' eggs and seaweed soup as an order:

"Ah, cold salt mutton. I must be home. When I break my fast on gulls' eggs and seaweed soup, I'll be certain of it."
"If you like, m'lord," said the old woman Grisel.
Lord Petyr made a face.

Then there is the captain daughter's resume:

"I'd work in your castle, milord. I can clean fish and bake bread and churn butter. Father says my peppercrab stew is the best he's ever tasted. You could find me a place in your kitchens and I could make you peppercrab stew."

This surely prefigures what we're told about Grisel making a sea-based soup of her own (i.e. the just mentioned "seaweed soup"), baking bread, and churning butter for Petyr:

Grisel reappeared before he could say more, balancing a large platter. She set it down between them. … The old woman had brought a round of bread as well, and a crock of butter.
Grisel climbed up to the bedchamber to serve the lord and lady a tray of morning bread, with butter, honey, fruit, and cream.

Where Grisel used to be Petyr's wet nurse, Theon suckles the captain daughter's nipple as if she's a wet nurse:

Theon's finger circled one heavy teat, spiraling in toward the fat brown nipple. … He took her nipple in his mouth….
"You can put it in me again, if it please you," she whispered in his ear as he sucked.

And finally, where Theon kisses the captain's daughter on the ear—

[Theon] drew the captain's daughter close and kissed her on her ear.

—Littlefinger kisses Grisel on the cheek:

Oswell and Lothor splashed their way ashore, as did Littlefinger himself. He gave the old woman a kiss on the cheek and grinned at the younger one.

Helya & Grisel (& Gretchel)

Grisel also rhymes with and reworks Helya, who keeps Balon's castle:

A bentback old crone in a shapeless grey dress approached him warily. "M'lord, I am sent to show you to chambers."
"And who are you?"
"Helya, who keeps this castle for your lord father."

Get it? "Helya and Grisel", a la "Hansel and Gretel".
(Gretel is a variant of "Greta". "Grisel" sounds like gristle, whereas in Hansel and Gretel the witch is trying to fatten Hansel up — she don't want no stringy meat! Note the thematic symmetry as well: By treating Hansel kindly and feeding him delicious treats, the witch is essentially "grooming" him for her own benefit/consumption, as Theon and Petyr groom the captain's daughter and Sansa, respectively, for their own benefit. Finally, note that "pebbles" are a key motif in Hansel and Gretel, prefiguring the proliferation of "pebbles" on Pyke, the 'rhyming' "pellets" on Petyr's Finger, and the isle of "Pebble" that leads to Petyr's Finger.)
The two "old" castle keepers neatly invert one another. Consider Grisel's comments about the old rushes and fire in Petyr's tower:

"If we knew you was coming we would have laid down fresh rushes, m'lord," said the crone. "There's a dung fire burning."
"Nothing says home like the smell of burning dung."

That's a recursive reversal of Helya's (lack of) preparation for Theon's visit: Where Grisel has a fire going even though she didn't know Petyr was coming, and where she proactively apologizes for not changing the rushes, telling him "we would have laid down fresh rushes… if we knew you were coming", Helya neither lit a fire nor changed the heavily foregrounded "old and brittle" rushes in the rooms Theon is given—

"I'll have a basin of hot water and a fire in this hearth," he told the crone. "See that they light braziers in the other rooms to drive out some of the chill. And gods be good, get someone in here at once to change these rushes."

—despite having ample forewarning of his coming:

It was not as though they had no word of his arrival. Robb had sent ravens from Riverrun, and… Jason Mallister had sent his own birds to Pyke….

The joke is underlined by the introduction of "Gretchel" — Gretel with a borrowed H from Helya/Hansel — who fetches washbasins of water (which, see below), "la[ys] a fire in the hearth" and "tend[s] to the fire", brings food and discusses food storage in Petyr's Eyrie in AFFC Sansa I & Alayne I. (In other words, she 'keeps his castle.')

'Rhyming' Interiors

That's just the beginning of the reversals in the many recursions between Theon's lodgings at Pyke and Sansa's in the Drearfort.
Where Helya leads Theon to his rooms on his orders—

"Show me to my chambers, woman," he commanded. Bowing stiffly, [Helya] led him across the headland to the bridge. …
Whenever he'd imagined his homecoming, he had always pictured himself returning to the snug bedchamber in the Sea Tower, where he'd slept as a child. Instead the old woman led him to the Bloody Keep.

—it's Petyr who leads the way into his tower, casually inviting Grisel (and everyone else) to follow him:

"If you like, m'lord," said the old woman Grisel.
Lord Petyr made a face. "Come, let's see if my hall is as dreary as I recall." He led them up the strand…

Petyr jokes about his hall being "dreary", and perhaps it is, but while it's "small" and "even smaller" within, his tower is also home to his servants, and hence very well lived-in.

Within, the tower seemed even smaller. An open stone stair wound round the inside wall, from undercroft to roof. Each floor was but a single room. The servants lived and slept in the kitchen at ground level, sharing the space with a huge brindled mastiff and a half-dozen sheep-dogs. Above that was a modest hall, and higher still the bedchamber.

(Note that the "mastiff", which we see as Petyr leads Grisel in, recalls Helya bowing "stiffly" before leading Theon to his rooms.)
This sharply reverses the situation Theon finds at Pyke, when he's deposited not in a single room shared by a bunch of people who've lived in it forever and warmed by a hearth with a burning fire, a la Sansa, nor in the "snug bedchamber" in the Sea Tower he'd anticipated (which sounds like Littlefinger's little "tower" by the sea), but in the Bloody Keep, in a whole-ass "suite" of large but "chilly", even "cold" rooms with incredibly high ceilings — rooms which haven't even been opened, much less lived-in, for "years", and which are the very definition of "dreary":

The halls here were larger and better furnished, if no less cold nor damp. Theon was given a suite of chilly rooms with ceilings so high that they were lost in gloom. [Omitted but see below.]
[Omitted but see below.] It was not fear of ghosts that made him glance about with distaste. The wall hangings were green with mildew, the mattress musty-smelling and sagging, the rushes old and brittle. Years had come and gone since these chambers had last been opened. The damp went bone deep. "I'll have a basin of hot water and a fire in this hearth," he told the crone. See that they light braziers in the other rooms to drive out some of the chill. And gods be good, get someone in here at once to change these rushes."

A ton of the motifs here (including the omitted stuff, which I'll return to) get recycled and reworked in Petyr's tower.
Most obviously, Theon's request for hot water prefigures Sansa's request for a hot bath:

"Might I have a hot bath as well?" asked Sansa.
"I'll have Kella draw some water, m'lady."

Note that Kella fulfills the request, not Grisel. This 'fits', as it's not Helya who brings Theon's water, but "two thralls".
Note also that Sansa requests her bath after thinking…

She desperately needed a bath and a change of clothes.

…whereas Theon changes his clothes immediately after the quoted passages.
Slightly less obviously, the "wall hangings [that] were green with mildew" are reworked by Petyr's own green 'wall hanging': his grandfather's shield, which is painted with a "light green field" and which "hung… above the hearth". The "mildew" is reworked by the fact that the paint is "cracked and flaking" i.e. flawed. And maybe also by the "light green field", since a field grows crops which get milled and which get dewy.

Brittle Bryen's Brigantine, Brindled Mastiff, & Old Blind Dog

As mentioned, the motif of unchanged rushes from Theon's homecoming recurs when Petyr comes home. But Petyr's homecoming also lexically riffs on Theon's rushes being quote-unquote "old and brittle" by giving us Bryen in "brigantine" who is very "old" but not, seemingly, brittle, as he still walks watches, not with his "old blind dog", but with a "brindled mastiff":

"It is good to have you home, my lord," said one old man. He looked to be at least eighty, but he wore a studded brigantine and a longsword at his side. …
"Bryen—didn't I name you captain of the guard the last time I was here?"
"You did, my lord. You said you'd be getting some more men too, but you never did. Me and the dogs stand all the watches."
Sansa found Bryen's old blind dog in her little alcove beneath the steps…
The servants lived and slept in the kitchen at ground level, sharing the space with a huge brindled mastiff and a half-dozen sheep-dogs.

Is the brindled dog a "mastiff" 'only' a wink at Theon going mast-stiff for Asha? (See Part 4.) Maybe. But it's worth mentioning that when Theon is first being stirred by Pyke's banner and it's being battered about like the shield we see in the Drearfort three sentences after the mastiff, it's also (a) flying from a very stiff "mast" and (b) juxtaposed with a very large 'dog' of sorts:

The banner streamed from an iron mast, shivering and twisting as the wind gusted like a bird struggling to take flight. And here at least the direwolf of Stark did not fly above, casting its shadow down upon the Greyjoy kraken.

Musty Old Mattresses

The old, "musty-smelling and sagging" mattress (in the chamber that has just been re-opened after long periods of being closed and uninhabited) from Theon's homecoming is answered in Petyr's homecomiong by Lysa, who arrives a few pages later in the chapter, eager to finally have sex again with Petyr. "Mattress" is slang for a sexually available woman (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mattress) and Lysa sags—

Lady Lysa was two years younger than Mother, but this woman looked ten years older. Thick auburn tresses fell down past her waist, but beneath the costly velvet gown and jeweled bodice her body sagged and bulged.

—and smells stale. (Note that Lysa is on a mattress here.)

Her aunt was drenched in sweet scent, though under that was a sour milky smell. Her cheek tasted of paint and powder.

Lysa's "cheek tast[ing] of paint and powder" riffs on the line about Theon's "distaste" and "fear of ghosts":

It was not fear of ghosts that made him glance about with distaste.

The distaste wordplay is obvious: Lysa tastes bad. As for the "fear of ghosts", Lysa (whom Sansa fears) being covered in "powder" reminds us of Sansa being afraid of a "spirit" covered in powdery flour:

When the spirit stepped out of the open tomb, pale white and moaning for blood, Sansa ran shrieking for the stairs…. Arya stood her ground and gave the spirit a punch. It was only Jon, covered with flour. (AGOT Arya IV)

This line—

The halls here were larger and better furnished, if no less cold nor damp.

—is reworked by Lysa as well, who is big and well-dressed ("better furnished", so to speak)—

[B]eneath the costly velvet gown and jeweled bodice her body sagged and bulged. Her face was pink and painted, her breasts heavy, her limbs thick. She was taller than Littlefinger, and heavier; nor did she show any grace in the clumsy way she climbed down off her horse.

—but cold to Sansa and horny/wet/"damp" for Petyr.
Given that Theon's rooms are in several ways like Lysa (newly 'open for business' after a long period of being closed and untouched by men, etc.), and pronouncing aunt like antler, we also might say that where the Lysa-like rooms are "cold" and "damp", Lysa herself is Sansa's "cold" aunt. Rhyming 'rhyming'.
That "years had come and gone since" the room with the Lysa-like mattress "had last been opened" is reworked not just by Lysa getting laid, but textually when Sansa is told Lysa is coming to the Drearfort (where she is 're-opened', so to speak):

It had been years since Sansa last saw her mother's sister…"

I wonder whether Lysa crying and speaking to Sansa of being "bound by blood" to her—

Tears welled suddenly in Lady Lysa's eyes. "We are women alone now, you and I. Are you afraid, child? Be brave. I would never turn away Cat's daughter. We are bound by blood."

—might not be in part a play on the fact that "the damp went bone deep" in the Bloody Keep. By saying that, Sansa's damp (i.e. crying) aunt "went bone deep", so to speak. (If you're "bound by blood" to someone, you have a "bone deep" bond with them. Also, bone → bound wordplay?)

Braziers → Bracing?

Did Theon's attempt to drive away "the chill" and damp of the salty sea air of Pyke using "braziers"—

See that they light braziers in the other rooms to drive out some of the chill.

—inform (via wordplay: braziers → bracing) Petyr's line when the Merling King pulls up to the Drearfort?

Lord Petyr came up beside her, cheerful as ever. "Good morrow. The salt air is bracing, don't you think? It always sharpens my appetite."

And/or is that "sharpening" motif a recursion of Theon sharpening his dirk immediately after said braziers are lit?

After some time, they brought the hot water he had asked for. … While two thralls lit his braziers, Theon stripped off his travel-stained clothing and dressed to meet his father. … He hung a dirk at one hip and a longsword at the other…. Drawing the dirk, he … pulled a whetstone from his belt pouch, and gave it a few licks. He prided himself on keeping his weapons sharp.

Gods Be Good!

The motifs of Theon yelling "gods be good" at his servant and of "ceilings so high that they were lost in gloom" are recursively reworked when Lysa summons Sansa (like a servant) to speak with her the morning after she weds Petyr. Sansa responds to the summons by thinking, verbatim, "gods be good", and is then told they'll be heading to the Eyrie, which we know is "so high you can stand on the parapets and look down on the clouds", i.e. it has parapets 'so high that they were lost in the clouds':

Lady Lysa was still abed [like a good mattress!], but Lord Petyr was up and dressed. "Your aunt wishes to speak with you," he told Sansa, as he pulled on a boot. "I've told her who you are."
Gods be good. "I . . . I thank you, my lord."
Petyr yanked on the other boot. "I've had about as much home as I can stomach. We'll leave for the Eyrie this afternoon."
Seven towers, Ned had told her, like white daggers thrust into the belly of the sky, so high you can stand on the parapets and look down on the clouds. (AGOT Catelyn VI)

The notion of a "ceiling" so high it is lost in gloom is perhaps also reworked by the story Lysa tells Sansa about Petyr's "rise" to power: She says she "always knew how high [Petyr would] rise", and it's my belief that said rise has likely seen him 'lost', spiritually, in 'darkness'. (Note that ceilings are a frequently invoked metaphor when talking about climbing the corporate ladder.)

"Half his teeth were gone, and his breath smelled like bad cheese. I cannot abide a man with foul breath. Petyr's breath is always fresh . . . he was the first man I ever kissed, you know. My father said he was too lowborn, but I knew how high he'd rise. Jon gave him the customs for Gulltown to please me, but when he increased the incomes tenfold my lord husband saw how clever he was and gave him other appointments, even brought him to King's Landing to be master of coin. That was hard, to see him every day and still be wed to that old cold man.

(Recall that the motif of bad/fresh breath there reworks the "winey stench of the old man's [Sylas Sourmouth's] breath", which Theon thinks about roughly ¼ page prior to being shown his suite in the Bloody Keep.)

Butchered Sons & Brothers

Lysa continues to rant:

"Jon did his duty in the bedchamber, but he could no more give me pleasure than he could give me children. His seed was old and weak. All my babies died but Robert, three girls and two boys. All my sweet little babies dead, and that old man just went on and on with his stinking breath. So you see, I have suffered too." Lady Lysa sniffed. "You do know that your poor mother is dead?"
"Tyrion told me," said Sansa. "He said the Freys murdered her at The Twins, with Robb."

Those references to (a) a bunch of dead "babies", including two brothers, one of which was "murdered" when Lysa's father, Hoster Tully, who ruled the Riverlands, betrayed Lysa's trust; and to (b) foul smelling breath, a la Sylas, and finally to (c) the Red Wedding — a bloody betrayal of Sansa's brother, who was King of the Riverlands — particularly (per Sansa saying "Tyrion told me") as it's described by Tyrion—

Sansa did not need to hear how her brother's body had been hacked and mutilated, he decided; nor how her mother's corpse had been dumped naked into the Green Fork in a savage mockery of House Tully's funeral customs. (ASOS Tyrion VII)

—are one of the ways ASOS Sansa VI rejiggers the part of Theon's description of his Bloody Keep suite I "[omitted]" earlier, which entails betrayals, murdered brothers, a River King, slaughter, and bodies "hacked to bits".

[Theon] might have been more impressed if he had not known that these were the very chambers that had given the Bloody Keep its name. A thousand years before, the sons of the River King had been slaughtered here, hacked to bits in their beds so that pieces of their bodies might be sent back to their father on the mainland.
But Greyjoys were not murdered in Pyke except once in a great while by their brothers, and his brothers were both dead.

Lysa's speech with its reference to her abortion and to the Red Wedding (and to stink-breath like Sylas's) isn't the only (or even the main) way Petyr's homecoming chapter refracts those images from Theon's homecoming, though.
Littlefinger is himself a kind of River King (as Lord Paramount of the Trident), right? And note that we read all about his "slaughtered" "sons" just before he enters the tower, wherein we then see the foul betrayers who murdered their 'brothers'. I'm talking, of course, about his sheep and his sheepdogs:

"How many sheep do I have at present, Kella?"
… "Three and twenty, m'lord. There was nine and twenty, but Bryen's dogs killed one and we butchered some others and salted down the meat."
"Ah, cold salt mutton. I must be home.…" … "Come, let's see if my hall is as dreary as I recall." … A handful of sheep were wandering about the base of the flint tower…. …
Within, the tower seemed even smaller. An open stone stair wound round the inside wall, from undercroft to roof. Each floor was but a single room. The servants lived and slept in the kitchen at ground level, sharing the space with a huge brindled mastiff and a half-dozen sheep-dogs.

Note the kitchen, recalling that the Bloody Keep is paired with the Kitchen Keep as Theon first gazes on Pyke:

Farther out were the Kitchen Keep and the Bloody Keep, each on its own island.

Note, too, that the sheep are coded as Petyr's "sons", in a way (a la the "slaughtered… sons of the River King" Theon remembers in his Bloody Tower rooms), and not just because he owns them. He says that Kella has lots of bastards and that she minds his sheep, right? And what else does he say of Kella, in jest? That she 'is' the "mother" of his "daughter," "Alayne Stone":

"Alayne . . . Stone, would it be?" When he nodded, she said, "But who is my mother?"
"Kella?"
"Please no," she said, mortified.
"I was teasing.

The joke foregrounds the notion of Petyr as the father of Kella's children. And while she supposedly has a bunch of bastards, we don't see them. We just see the one girl with the livestock-evoking eye with a sty. It's almost like the sheep she looks after are her children. And thus like Petyr is their father.
(Note the word "mortified". This points straight back to Theon in his Bloody Tower for two reasons: First, greyscale, which mortifies the flesh, killed Balon's brother Harlon, who died "in a windowless tower room" at Pyke. Second: Theon will, in his next chapter, be truly mortified by the realization that "Esgred" is his sister Asha, where that masquerade in turn prefigures Sansa masquerading as Alayne.)
So the "cold" Bloody Keep with its partner the Kitchen Keep and its story of a "slaughter", betrayal, brother killing brother, a River King's sons' bodies "hacked to bits in their beds" — all these motifs are reworked by Kella's account of one of Lord Paramount Petyr's sheep-'sons' being killed by its lexicial 'brothers', the very "sheep-dogs" who were supposed to guard it, and of other sheep-'sons' being verbatim "butchered", i.e. slaughtered on a killing bed and in the process surely hacked into pieces that were then preserved against spoilage for future consumption, such that the resulting "cold salt mutton" could be used as travel rations. Which jibes with Theon's language, creatively interpreted:

[T]he sons of the River King had been slaughtered here, hacked to bits in their beds so that pieces of their bodies might be sent back to their father on the mainland.

(They were slaughtered and hacked to bits only so as to properly preserve them against spoilage during their upcoming journey "back to their father on the mainland", you see!)

Theon's Honor Guard

The conditions in Theon's rooms are consistent with the cold welcome he receives, both from Aeron—

The priest's manner was chilly, most unlike the man Theon remembered.

—and Balon—

Theon pulled off his gloves. "… Why is my father not here to greet me?"
"He awaits you in the Sea Tower, m'lord. When you are rested from your trip."
And I thought Ned Stark cold.

—and they're thus part of a broad yin/yang 'rhyme' with Petyr's initial homecoming, which is warm and welcoming and full of familiar faces, whereas Theon knows no one, such that he thinks:

It is as if I were a stranger here….

The reversal is wryly underlined when Petyr is greeted at the shore by his "captain of the guards", Bryen:

"It is good to have you home, my lord," said one old man.

Thus Petyr ironically gets the "honor guard" welcome Theon hoped he'd get on his arrival 'home':

[Theon] saw… no honor guard waiting to escort him from Lordsport to Pyke, only smallfolk going about their small business.

Notice that where no one stops what they're doing for Theon, everyone stops when Petyr arrives. And of course, everyone in his household recognizes him, whereas no one recognizes Theon. Which is telling, because in a deep sense, that's all Theon really wants, deep down: a little recognition.
Littlefinger has it… but it's not enough.

(SUB)SERIES CONCLUDES IN PART 10: Oswell & Aeron; Lothar & Dagmer; The Closing Twist

This post is part of a series looking at the massive amount of 'rhyming' (and occasionally rhyming) recursivity I believe exists between (a) the homecoming of Petyr Baelish to the Fingers and (b) the homecoming of Theon Greyjoy to Pyke.
While this series/post can be read simply as a study 'for its own sake' of the curious recursion between these storylines, it is my belief that the 'rhyming' explored here between the stories of Petyr and Theon exists (at least in part) to foreshadow that, like Theon, Petyr Littlefinger, is (among other things) a scion of ironborn kings, because Petyr is Hoare-ish: I.e. because Petyr's blood is (in some part) the blood of the ironborn kings of House Hoare of Orkmont and, later, Harrenhal.
You can find an index of every post I've made on the topic of a Hoare-ish Littlefinger (including every post in this sub-series) [HERE].
Even if I'm wrong about Littlefinger's lineage, the 'rhyming' recursivity between the homecomings of Theon and Petyr detailed in this series remains, and certainly merits attention.
NOTE: In what follows, all uncited quotes are from ASOS Sansa VI, which describes Petyr's homecoming to his "Drearfort" tower of the 'Smallest Finger', or ACOK Theon I, which describes Theon's homecoming to "drear" Pyke.
As in past posts, I sometimes use "→" as shorthand for "'prefigures' and/or 'informs' and/or 'is reworked by' and/or 'finds a recursive rhyme in'.
As in: ACOK Theon I → ASOS Sansa VI.
This post picks up straight-away from where Part 8 left off. You can read Part 8 [HERE].
If you want to begin at the beginning, Part 1 is [HERE].

The Myraham's Prophetic Cargo

After Theon makes port, the captain of the Myraham announces his cargo to the people on the docks of Lordport and we read about the offloading of the Myraham:

"We're out of Oldtown," the captain called down, "bearing apples and oranges, wines from the Arbor, feathers from the Summer Isles. I have pepper, woven leathers, a bolt of Myrish lace, mirrors for milady, a pair of Oldtown woodharps sweet as any you ever heard." The gangplank descended with a creak and a thud. "And I've brought your heir back to you."

Most of what we read there seems to be reworked in and around Littlefinger's homecoming in ASOS Sansa VI, when the Merling King brings the Dreadfort its heir, Littlefinger, as well as the seeming heir to Winterfell, Sansa. This begins with the Arbor wine and fruit we see off-loaded from the Merling King:

Oswell made two more trips out to the Merling King to offload provisions. Among the loads he brought ashore were several casks of wine. Petyr poured Sansa a cup, as promised. …
… The wine was very fine; an Arbor vintage, she thought. It tasted of oak and fruit and hot summer nights, the flavors blossoming in her mouth like flowers opening to the sun. She only prayed that she could keep it down. Lord Petyr was being so kind, she did not want to spoil it all by retching on him.
… "Grisel," he called to the old woman, "bring some food up. … Oswell's brought some oranges and pomegranates from the King." …
Grisel reappeared…, balancing a large platter. … There were apples and pears and pomegranates, some sad-looking grapes, a huge blood orange.

Besides the straight repetition of Arbor wine, oranges, apples, and heirs, the repeated Oldtown motif is baldly reworked by Sansa's description of the wine, which is patently Oldtown-summer-esque, per the only substantive pre-AFFC description of Oldtown, which associates it with hot, fruity summer nights:

"King Maekar's summer was hotter than this one, and near as long. … [T]he heat was fierce while it lasted. Oldtown… came alive only by night. … I remember the smells of those nights, my lord—perfume and sweat, melons ripe to bursting, peaches and pomegranates, nightshade and moonbloom." (AGOT Eddard V)

The Myraham's "mirrors for milady" prefigure Sansa being figuratively groomed by Petyr and literally grooming herself in Petyr's Eyrie after he takes over:

When Gretchel fetched her Lysa's silvered looking glass, the color seemed just perfect with Alayne's mass of dark brown hair. (AFFC Alayne I)

The Myraham's "woodharps sweet as any you ever heard" presage Sansa being attacked by Marillion, whose "voice was strong and sweet", (AFFC Sansa I) after he sings a song (about blowjobs?) called "Milady's Supper" (supper a la the Myraham-ish fruit Sansa eats for supper when she lands) during Petyr's wedding bedding:

Lady Lysa's singer launched into a bawdy version of "Milady's Supper"….

The Myraham's "woven leathers" and "Myrish lace" are reworked into the "laces unlaced" i.e. unwoven during said wedding:

By the time they had gotten him into the tower and out of his clothes, the other women were flushed, with laces unlaced, kirtles crooked, and skirts in disarray.

That it's a "bolt of Myrish lace" is interesting: After Sansa boards the Merling King, she sees a singular "bolt" from a crossbow strike Dontos, and then two more:

Lothor Brune dipped his torch. Three men stepped to the gunwale, raised crossbows, fired. One bolt took Dontos in the chest as he looked up…. The others ripped into throat and belly. (ASOS Sansa V)

Three crossbow bolts? What does that remind us if not… a Myrish crossbow:

"The king is playing with his new crossbow," Tyrion said. Ridding himself of Joffrey had required only an ungainly Myrish crossbow that threw three quarrels at a time…. (ACOK Tyrion VI)

What about the Myraham's "pepper"? I suspect this gets box-checked first by Sansa trying not to "retch" as she is off-loaded along with the wine with which Littlefinger tries to settle her tummy, as just two chapters later peppers are tightly linked to "retching" of the sort Sansa feels like doing:

[Tyrion] found himself on his knees retching… that double helping of fried eggs cooked up with onions and fiery Dornish peppers. (ASOS Tyrion X)

GRRM seems to play off the "pepper" motif in other ways, as well. Consider that the gathering to meet the Myraham and the shouted questions that prompt her captain to announce her cargo—

A handful of Lordsport merchants had gathered to meet the ship. They shouted questions as the Myraham was tying up.

—get reworked by Petyr's household all gathering "to meet" the Merling King and by their peppering one another with questions:

Servants emerged from the tower to meet them; a thin old woman and a fat middle-aged one, two ancient white-haired men, and a girl of two or three with a sty on one eye. When they recognized Lord Petyr they knelt on the rocks. "My household," he said. "I don't know the child. Another of Kella's bastards, I suppose. She pops one out every few years."

She's a "popper", then, in case we didn't catch that retching → peppers. (This also reworks Theon "popping one off" with the captain's daughter, who is in many ways reworked by Kella, as will be discussed below.)

… [Petyr]… gave the old woman a kiss on the cheek and grinned at the younger one. "Who fathered this one, Kella?"
The fat woman laughed. "I can't rightly say, m'lord. I'm not one for telling them no."
"And all the local lads are grateful, I am quite sure."
"It is good to have you home, my lord," said one old man. … "How long will you be in residence?"
"As short a time as possible, Bryen, have no fear. Is the place habitable just now, would you say?"
"If we knew you was coming we would have laid down fresh rushes, m'lord," said the crone. "There's a dung fire burning."
"Nothing says home like the smell of burning dung." Petyr turned to Sansa. "Grisel was my wet nurse, but she keeps my castle now. Umfred's my steward, and Bryen—didn't I name you captain of the guard the last time I was here?"
"You did, my lord.…"
… Petyr gestured toward the fat woman. "Kella minds my vast herds. How many sheep do I have at present, Kella?"

A gathering, and questions, questions, questions, as when Theon docks.
Recall that Bryen and Umfred come from shore to offload Sansa (who's just been promised a cup of wine to help with her upset "tummy") from the Merling King's rowboat:

The two old men waded out up to their thighs to lift Sansa from the boat so she would not get her skirts wet.

This reworks the "shorehands… off-loading… casks of wine" from a Tyroshi trader docked with the Myraham—

[Theon] spied a Tyroshi trading galley off-loading…
Shorehands rolled casks of wine off the Tyroshi trader, fisherfolk cried the day's catch, children ran and played. A priest in the seawater robes of the Drowned God was leading a pair of horses along the pebbled shore, while above him a slattern leaned out a window in the inn, calling out to some passing Ibbenese sailors.

—which itself prefigures the above-quoted off-loading of the Merling King (when "Oswell made two more trips out to the Merling King to offload provisions" including "several casks of wine", from which Petyr immediately "poured Sansa a cup, as promised").

Kella & The Slattern

What about that "slattern lean[ing] out a window" to greet "some passing… sailors" while "children ran and played"? I submit that she is one of several motifs from Theon's homecoming prefiguring Petyr's servant Kella. I'll explain.
Consider that Petyr's servant Kella has many bastards i.e. children, popping one out every few years:

"I don't know the child. Another of Kella's bastards, I suppose. She pops one out every few years."

We only see one; presumably the others are off somewhere, running and playing, perhaps.
Kella happily greets Petyr as he comes ashore, much as Lordsport's slattern "call[s] out to some passing Ibbenese sailors". Note that the sailors on the Merling King are likewise 'passing' — passing through:

"From here the King turns east for Braavos. Without us."

Consider most of all that Kella's something of a slattern herself: She's "not one for telling them no".

"I can't rightly say, m'lord. I'm not one for telling them no."
"And all the local lads are grateful, I am quite sure."

Indeed, something Lysa says pretty clearly codes Kella as a verbatim "slattern", underlining the recursion:

"How would you like to spend your life on that bleak shore, surrounded by slatterns and sheep pellets?" (ASOS Sansa VII)

So I think the vignette with the slattern and the children in Lordsport pretty plainly prefigures Kella. But I think she's prefigured by two more pieces of Theon's homecoming.

Kella & The Captain's Daughter

Keeping in mind that Kella has a bunch of bastards ("she pops one out every few years) and that she's "not one for telling them no", consider also that she is (a) literally 'with child' — or rather, with a child—

a girl of two or three with a sty on one eye

—that she's (b) "fat"—

"Who fathered this one, Kella?"
The fat woman laughed.

—and that she's (c) coded as a bit stupid:

"Kella minds my vast herds. How many sheep do I have at present, Kella?"
She had to think a moment. "Three and twenty, m'lord. There was nine and twenty, but Bryen's dogs killed one and we butchered some others and salted down the meat."

All like Theon's "captain's daughter".
The captain's daughter is "plump", as Kella is "fat":

The girl was a shade plump for his taste…

She is likely pregnant with Theon's bastard, a la Kella the bastard-popper.
She tells Theon…

"You can put it in me again, if it please you…"

…and accedes to his request for a blowjob, so she's "not one for telling them no."
She thereby helps Theon 'pop one off', a la Kella "pop[ping] one out".
Like Kella, she seems a bit stupid:

She looked rather stupid when she smiled, but he had never required a woman to be clever.
The stupid girl did not seem to be listening.
She… learned quickly for such a stupid girl….
She looked at him stupidly, so he left her there.

And finally, she offers to work in Theon's castle—

I'd work in your castle, milord.

—just as Kella works for Petyr.

Kella: The Spreading Patch of the Smallest Finger?

Besides the "slattern" and the captain's daughter, I suspect Kella may also riff on — of all things — the "spreading patches" of "lichen" on "wet" Pyke as Theon sails by:

[Pyke was] wet by the same salt waves, festooned with the same spreading patches of dark green lichen, speckled by the droppings of the same seabirds.

Get it? A spreading 'patch'? In combination with "lichen" a la "licking" and Pyke being "wet"? And not just wet, but "wet by… salt waves", when as we know from the captain's daughter, semen tastes "salty", "like the sea". It's like Pyke is being described as a turned-on "slattern" with her legs spread.
A Hoare, we might say.
This connects to Kella, specifically because of her name: Kella is a near anagram for "kale", a dark green plant, like the "dark green lichen".
Actually, the name Kella may have anothere precursor in Theon's story: "Qalen", the maester Theon asks Helya about upon his arrival at Pyke:

"And what of Maester Qalen, where is he?"

Qalen would be pronounced Kalen. Qalen → Kalen → Kale → Kela → Kella. Anyway…

Grisel & The Captain's Daughter

Something similar is going on with Petyr's servant Grisel, the "thin old woman" who was his wet nurse but who "keeps [his] castle now":

"Grisel was my wet nurse, but she keeps my castle now.

Grisel is similarly prefigured by two people from Theon's homecoming, including first the captain's daughter who wants to work in Theon's castle as Grisel works in Petyr's "castle".
Consider first that Grisel, like the captain's daughter, seems slightly stupid (but eager to please), as she fails to grasp Petyr's sarcasm and takes his derisive joke about gulls' eggs and seaweed soup as an order:

"Ah, cold salt mutton. I must be home. When I break my fast on gulls' eggs and seaweed soup, I'll be certain of it."
"If you like, m'lord," said the old woman Grisel.
Lord Petyr made a face.

Then there is the captain daughter's resume:

"I'd work in your castle, milord. I can clean fish and bake bread and churn butter. Father says my peppercrab stew is the best he's ever tasted. You could find me a place in your kitchens and I could make you peppercrab stew."

This surely prefigures what we're told about Grisel making a sea-based soup of her own (i.e. the just mentioned "seaweed soup"), baking bread, and churning butter for Petyr:

Grisel reappeared before he could say more, balancing a large platter. She set it down between them. … The old woman had brought a round of bread as well, and a crock of butter.
Grisel climbed up to the bedchamber to serve the lord and lady a tray of morning bread, with butter, honey, fruit, and cream.

Where Grisel used to be Petyr's wet nurse, Theon suckles the captain daughter's nipple as if she's a wet nurse:

Theon's finger circled one heavy teat, spiraling in toward the fat brown nipple. … He took her nipple in his mouth….
"You can put it in me again, if it please you," she whispered in his ear as he sucked.

And finally, where Theon kisses the captain's daughter on the ear—

[Theon] drew the captain's daughter close and kissed her on her ear.

—Littlefinger kisses Grisel on the cheek:

Oswell and Lothor splashed their way ashore, as did Littlefinger himself. He gave the old woman a kiss on the cheek and grinned at the younger one.

Helya & Grisel (& Gretchel)

Grisel also rhymes with and reworks Helya, who keeps Balon's castle:

A bentback old crone in a shapeless grey dress approached him warily. "M'lord, I am sent to show you to chambers."
"And who are you?"
"Helya, who keeps this castle for your lord father."

Get it? "Helya and Grisel", a la "Hansel and Gretel".
(Gretel is a variant of "Greta". "Grisel" sounds like gristle, whereas in Hansel and Gretel the witch is trying to fatten Hansel up — she don't want no stringy meat! Note the thematic symmetry as well: By treating Hansel kindly and feeding him delicious treats, the witch is essentially "grooming" him for her own benefit/consumption, as Theon and Petyr groom the captain's daughter and Sansa, respectively, for their own benefit. Finally, note that "pebbles" are a key motif in Hansel and Gretel, prefiguring the proliferation of "pebbles" on Pyke, the 'rhyming' "pellets" on Petyr's Finger, and the isle of "Pebble" that leads to Petyr's Finger.)
The two "old" castle keepers neatly invert one another. Consider Grisel's comments about the old rushes and fire in Petyr's tower:

"If we knew you was coming we would have laid down fresh rushes, m'lord," said the crone. "There's a dung fire burning."
"Nothing says home like the smell of burning dung."

That's a recursive reversal of Helya's (lack of) preparation for Theon's visit: Where Grisel has a fire going even though she didn't know Petyr was coming, and where she proactively apologizes for not changing the rushes, telling him "we would have laid down fresh rushes… if we knew you were coming", Helya neither lit a fire nor changed the heavily foregrounded "old and brittle" rushes in the rooms Theon is given—

"I'll have a basin of hot water and a fire in this hearth," he told the crone. "See that they light braziers in the other rooms to drive out some of the chill. And gods be good, get someone in here at once to change these rushes."

—despite having ample forewarning of his coming:

It was not as though they had no word of his arrival. Robb had sent ravens from Riverrun, and… Jason Mallister had sent his own birds to Pyke….

The joke is underlined by the introduction of "Gretchel" — Gretel with a borrowed H from Helya/Hansel — who fetches washbasins of water (which, see below), "la[ys] a fire in the hearth" and "tend[s] to the fire", brings food and discusses food storage in Petyr's Eyrie in AFFC Sansa I & Alayne I. (In other words, she 'keeps his castle.')

'Rhyming' Interiors

That's just the beginning of the reversals in the many recursions between Theon's lodgings at Pyke and Sansa's in the Drearfort.
Where Helya leads Theon to his rooms on his orders—

"Show me to my chambers, woman," he commanded. Bowing stiffly, [Helya] led him across the headland to the bridge. …
Whenever he'd imagined his homecoming, he had always pictured himself returning to the snug bedchamber in the Sea Tower, where he'd slept as a child. Instead the old woman led him to the Bloody Keep.

—it's Petyr who leads the way into his tower, casually inviting Grisel (and everyone else) to follow him:

"If you like, m'lord," said the old woman Grisel.
Lord Petyr made a face. "Come, let's see if my hall is as dreary as I recall." He led them up the strand…

Petyr jokes about his hall being "dreary", and perhaps it is, but while it's "small" and "even smaller" within, his tower is also home to his servants, and hence very well lived-in.

Within, the tower seemed even smaller. An open stone stair wound round the inside wall, from undercroft to roof. Each floor was but a single room. The servants lived and slept in the kitchen at ground level, sharing the space with a huge brindled mastiff and a half-dozen sheep-dogs. Above that was a modest hall, and higher still the bedchamber.

(Note that the "mastiff", which we see as Petyr leads Grisel in, recalls Helya bowing "stiffly" before leading Theon to his rooms.)
This sharply reverses the situation Theon finds at Pyke, when he's deposited not in a single room shared by a bunch of people who've lived in it forever and warmed by a hearth with a burning fire, a la Sansa, nor in the "snug bedchamber" in the Sea Tower he'd anticipated (which sounds like Littlefinger's little "tower" by the sea), but in the Bloody Keep, in a whole-ass "suite" of large but "chilly", even "cold" rooms with incredibly high ceilings — rooms which haven't even been opened, much less lived-in, for "years", and which are the very definition of "dreary":

The halls here were larger and better furnished, if no less cold nor damp. Theon was given a suite of chilly rooms with ceilings so high that they were lost in gloom. [Omitted but see below.]
[Omitted but see below.] It was not fear of ghosts that made him glance about with distaste. The wall hangings were green with mildew, the mattress musty-smelling and sagging, the rushes old and brittle. Years had come and gone since these chambers had last been opened. The damp went bone deep. "I'll have a basin of hot water and a fire in this hearth," he told the crone. See that they light braziers in the other rooms to drive out some of the chill. And gods be good, get someone in here at once to change these rushes."

A ton of the motifs here (including the omitted stuff, which I'll return to) get recycled and reworked in Petyr's tower.
Most obviously, Theon's request for hot water prefigures Sansa's request for a hot bath:

"Might I have a hot bath as well?" asked Sansa.
"I'll have Kella draw some water, m'lady."

Note that Kella fulfills the request, not Grisel. This 'fits', as it's not Helya who brings Theon's water, but "two thralls".
Note also that Sansa requests her bath after thinking…

She desperately needed a bath and a change of clothes.

…whereas Theon changes his clothes immediately after the quoted passages.
Slightly less obviously, the "wall hangings [that] were green with mildew" are reworked by Petyr's own green 'wall hanging': his grandfather's shield, which is painted with a "light green field" and which "hung… above the hearth". The "mildew" is reworked by the fact that the paint is "cracked and flaking" i.e. flawed. And maybe also by the "light green field", since a field grows crops which get milled and which get dewy.

Brittle Bryen's Brigantine, Brindled Mastiff, & Old Blind Dog

As mentioned, the motif of unchanged rushes from Theon's homecoming recurs when Petyr comes home. But Petyr's homecoming also lexically riffs on Theon's rushes being quote-unquote "old and brittle" by giving us Bryen in "brigantine" who is very "old" but not, seemingly, brittle, as he still walks watches, not with his "old blind dog", but with a "brindled mastiff":

"It is good to have you home, my lord," said one old man. He looked to be at least eighty, but he wore a studded brigantine and a longsword at his side. …
"Bryen—didn't I name you captain of the guard the last time I was here?"
"You did, my lord. You said you'd be getting some more men too, but you never did. Me and the dogs stand all the watches."
Sansa found Bryen's old blind dog in her little alcove beneath the steps…
The servants lived and slept in the kitchen at ground level, sharing the space with a huge brindled mastiff and a half-dozen sheep-dogs.

Is the brindled dog a "mastiff" 'only' a wink at Theon going mast-stiff for Asha? (See Part 4.) Maybe. But it's worth mentioning that when Theon is first being stirred by Pyke's banner and it's being battered about like the shield we see in the Drearfort three sentences after the mastiff, it's also (a) flying from a very stiff "mast" and (b) juxtaposed with a very large 'dog' of sorts:

The banner streamed from an iron mast, shivering and twisting as the wind gusted like a bird struggling to take flight. And here at least the direwolf of Stark did not fly above, casting its shadow down upon the Greyjoy kraken.

Musty Old Mattresses

The old, "musty-smelling and sagging" mattress (in the chamber that has just been re-opened after long periods of being closed and uninhabited) from Theon's homecoming is answered in Petyr's homecomiong by Lysa, who arrives a few pages later in the chapter, eager to finally have sex again with Petyr. "Mattress" is slang for a sexually available woman (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mattress) and Lysa sags—

Lady Lysa was two years younger than Mother, but this woman looked ten years older. Thick auburn tresses fell down past her waist, but beneath the costly velvet gown and jeweled bodice her body sagged and bulged.

—and smells stale. (Note that Lysa is on a mattress here.)

Her aunt was drenched in sweet scent, though under that was a sour milky smell. Her cheek tasted of paint and powder.

Lysa's "cheek tast[ing] of paint and powder" riffs on the line about Theon's "distaste" and "fear of ghosts":

It was not fear of ghosts that made him glance about with distaste.

The distaste wordplay is obvious: Lysa tastes bad. As for the "fear of ghosts", Lysa (whom Sansa fears) being covered in "powder" reminds us of Sansa being afraid of a "spirit" covered in powdery flour:

When the spirit stepped out of the open tomb, pale white and moaning for blood, Sansa ran shrieking for the stairs…. Arya stood her ground and gave the spirit a punch. It was only Jon, covered with flour. (AGOT Arya IV)

This line—

The halls here were larger and better furnished, if no less cold nor damp.

—is reworked by Lysa as well, who is big and well-dressed ("better furnished", so to speak)—

[B]eneath the costly velvet gown and jeweled bodice her body sagged and bulged. Her face was pink and painted, her breasts heavy, her limbs thick. She was taller than Littlefinger, and heavier; nor did she show any grace in the clumsy way she climbed down off her horse.

—but cold to Sansa and horny/wet/"damp" for Petyr.
Given that Theon's rooms are in several ways like Lysa (newly 'open for business' after a long period of being closed and untouched by men, etc.), and pronouncing aunt like antler, we also might say that where the Lysa-like rooms are "cold" and "damp", Lysa herself is Sansa's "cold" aunt. Rhyming 'rhyming'.
That "years had come and gone since" the room with the Lysa-like mattress "had last been opened" is reworked not just by Lysa getting laid, but textually when Sansa is told Lysa is coming to the Drearfort (where she is 're-opened', so to speak):

It had been years since Sansa last saw her mother's sister…"

I wonder whether Lysa crying and speaking to Sansa of being "bound by blood" to her—

Tears welled suddenly in Lady Lysa's eyes. "We are women alone now, you and I. Are you afraid, child? Be brave. I would never turn away Cat's daughter. We are bound by blood."

—might not be in part a play on the fact that "the damp went bone deep" in the Bloody Keep. By saying that, Sansa's damp (i.e. crying) aunt "went bone deep", so to speak. (If you're "bound by blood" to someone, you have a "bone deep" bond with them. Also, bone → bound wordplay?)

Braziers → Bracing?

Did Theon's attempt to drive away "the chill" and damp of the salty sea air of Pyke using "braziers"—

See that they light braziers in the other rooms to drive out some of the chill.

—inform (via wordplay: braziers → bracing) Petyr's line when the Merling King pulls up to the Drearfort?

Lord Petyr came up beside her, cheerful as ever. "Good morrow. The salt air is bracing, don't you think? It always sharpens my appetite."

And/or is that "sharpening" motif a recursion of Theon sharpening his dirk immediately after said braziers are lit?

After some time, they brought the hot water he had asked for. … While two thralls lit his braziers, Theon stripped off his travel-stained clothing and dressed to meet his father. … He hung a dirk at one hip and a longsword at the other…. Drawing the dirk, he … pulled a whetstone from his belt pouch, and gave it a few licks. He prided himself on keeping his weapons sharp.

Gods Be Good!

The motifs of Theon yelling "gods be good" at his servant and of "ceilings so high that they were lost in gloom" are recursively reworked when Lysa summons Sansa (like a servant) to speak with her the morning after she weds Petyr. Sansa responds to the summons by thinking, verbatim, "gods be good", and is then told they'll be heading to the Eyrie, which we know is "so high you can stand on the parapets and look down on the clouds", i.e. it has parapets 'so high that they were lost in the clouds':

Lady Lysa was still abed [like a good mattress!], but Lord Petyr was up and dressed. "Your aunt wishes to speak with you," he told Sansa, as he pulled on a boot. "I've told her who you are."
Gods be good. "I . . . I thank you, my lord."
Petyr yanked on the other boot. "I've had about as much home as I can stomach. We'll leave for the Eyrie this afternoon."
Seven towers, Ned had told her, like white daggers thrust into the belly of the sky, so high you can stand on the parapets and look down on the clouds. (AGOT Catelyn VI)

The notion of a "ceiling" so high it is lost in gloom is perhaps also reworked by the story Lysa tells Sansa about Petyr's "rise" to power: She says she "always knew how high [Petyr would] rise", and it's my belief that said rise has likely seen him 'lost', spiritually, in 'darkness'. (Note that ceilings are a frequently invoked metaphor when talking about climbing the corporate ladder.)

"Half his teeth were gone, and his breath smelled like bad cheese. I cannot abide a man with foul breath. Petyr's breath is always fresh . . . he was the first man I ever kissed, you know. My father said he was too lowborn, but I knew how high he'd rise. Jon gave him the customs for Gulltown to please me, but when he increased the incomes tenfold my lord husband saw how clever he was and gave him other appointments, even brought him to King's Landing to be master of coin. That was hard, to see him every day and still be wed to that old cold man.

(Recall that the motif of bad/fresh breath there reworks the "winey stench of the old man's [Sylas Sourmouth's] breath", which Theon thinks about roughly ¼ page prior to being shown his suite in the Bloody Keep.)

Butchered Sons & Brothers

Lysa continues to rant:

"Jon did his duty in the bedchamber, but he could no more give me pleasure than he could give me children. His seed was old and weak. All my babies died but Robert, three girls and two boys. All my sweet little babies dead, and that old man just went on and on with his stinking breath. So you see, I have suffered too." Lady Lysa sniffed. "You do know that your poor mother is dead?"
"Tyrion told me," said Sansa. "He said the Freys murdered her at The Twins, with Robb."

Those references to (a) a bunch of dead "babies", including two brothers, one of which was "murdered" when Lysa's father, Hoster Tully, who ruled the Riverlands, betrayed Lysa's trust; and to (b) foul smelling breath, a la Sylas, and finally to (c) the Red Wedding — a bloody betrayal of Sansa's brother, who was King of the Riverlands — particularly (per Sansa saying "Tyrion told me") as it's described by Tyrion—

Sansa did not need to hear how her brother's body had been hacked and mutilated, he decided; nor how her mother's corpse had been dumped naked into the Green Fork in a savage mockery of House Tully's funeral customs. (ASOS Tyrion VII)

—are one of the ways ASOS Sansa VI rejiggers the part of Theon's description of his Bloody Keep suite I "[omitted]" earlier, which entails betrayals, murdered brothers, a River King, slaughter, and bodies "hacked to bits".

[Theon] might have been more impressed if he had not known that these were the very chambers that had given the Bloody Keep its name. A thousand years before, the sons of the River King had been slaughtered here, hacked to bits in their beds so that pieces of their bodies might be sent back to their father on the mainland.
But Greyjoys were not murdered in Pyke except once in a great while by their brothers, and his brothers were both dead.

Lysa's speech with its reference to her abortion and to the Red Wedding (and to stink-breath like Sylas's) isn't the only (or even the main) way Petyr's homecoming chapter refracts those images from Theon's homecoming, though.
Littlefinger is himself a kind of River King (as Lord Paramount of the Trident), right? And note that we read all about his "slaughtered" "sons" just before he enters the tower, wherein we then see the foul betrayers who murdered their 'brothers'. I'm talking, of course, about his sheep and his sheepdogs:

"How many sheep do I have at present, Kella?"
… "Three and twenty, m'lord. There was nine and twenty, but Bryen's dogs killed one and we butchered some others and salted down the meat."
"Ah, cold salt mutton. I must be home.…" … "Come, let's see if my hall is as dreary as I recall." … A handful of sheep were wandering about the base of the flint tower…. …
Within, the tower seemed even smaller. An open stone stair wound round the inside wall, from undercroft to roof. Each floor was but a single room. The servants lived and slept in the kitchen at ground level, sharing the space with a huge brindled mastiff and a half-dozen sheep-dogs.

Note the kitchen, recalling that the Bloody Keep is paired with the Kitchen Keep as Theon first gazes on Pyke:

Farther out were the Kitchen Keep and the Bloody Keep, each on its own island.

Note, too, that the sheep are coded as Petyr's "sons", in a way (a la the "slaughtered… sons of the River King" Theon remembers in his Bloody Tower rooms), and not just because he owns them. He says that Kella has lots of bastards and that she minds his sheep, right? And what else does he say of Kella, in jest? That she 'is' the "mother" of his "daughter," "Alayne Stone":

"Alayne . . . Stone, would it be?" When he nodded, she said, "But who is my mother?"
"Kella?"
"Please no," she said, mortified.
"I was teasing.

The joke foregrounds the notion of Petyr as the father of Kella's children. And while she supposedly has a bunch of bastards, we don't see them. We just see the one girl with the livestock-evoking eye with a sty. It's almost like the sheep she looks after are her children. And thus like Petyr is their father.
(Note the word "mortified". This points straight back to Theon in his Bloody Tower for two reasons: First, greyscale, which mortifies the flesh, killed Balon's brother Harlon, who died "in a windowless tower room" at Pyke. Second: Theon will, in his next chapter, be truly mortified by the realization that "Esgred" is his sister Asha, where that masquerade in turn prefigures Sansa masquerading as Alayne.)
So the "cold" Bloody Keep with its partner the Kitchen Keep and its story of a "slaughter", betrayal, brother killing brother, a River King's sons' bodies "hacked to bits in their beds" — all these motifs are reworked by Kella's account of one of Lord Paramount Petyr's sheep-'sons' being killed by its lexicial 'brothers', the very "sheep-dogs" who were supposed to guard it, and of other sheep-'sons' being verbatim "butchered", i.e. slaughtered on a killing bed and in the process surely hacked into pieces that were then preserved against spoilage for future consumption, such that the resulting "cold salt mutton" could be used as travel rations. Which jibes with Theon's language, creatively interpreted:

[T]he sons of the River King had been slaughtered here, hacked to bits in their beds so that pieces of their bodies might be sent back to their father on the mainland.

(They were slaughtered and hacked to bits only so as to properly preserve them against spoilage during their upcoming journey "back to their father on the mainland", you see!)

Theon's Honor Guard

The conditions in Theon's rooms are consistent with the cold welcome he receives, both from Aeron—

The priest's manner was chilly, most unlike the man Theon remembered.

—and Balon—

Theon pulled off his gloves. "… Why is my father not here to greet me?"
"He awaits you in the Sea Tower, m'lord. When you are rested from your trip."
And I thought Ned Stark cold.

—and they're thus part of a broad yin/yang 'rhyme' with Petyr's initial homecoming, which is warm and welcoming and full of familiar faces, whereas Theon knows no one, such that he thinks:

It is as if I were a stranger here….

The reversal is wryly underlined when Petyr is greeted at the shore by his "captain of the guards", Bryen:

"It is good to have you home, my lord," said one old man.

Thus Petyr ironically gets the "honor guard" welcome Theon hoped he'd get on his arrival 'home':

[Theon] saw… no honor guard waiting to escort him from Lordsport to Pyke, only smallfolk going about their small business.

Notice that where no one stops what they're doing for Theon, everyone stops when Petyr arrives. And of course, everyone in his household recognizes him, whereas no one recognizes Theon. Which is telling, because in a deep sense, that's all Theon really wants, deep down: a little recognition.
Littlefinger has it… but it's not enough.

(SUB)SERIES CONCLUDES IN PART 10: Oswell & Aeron; Lothar & Dagmer; The Closing Twist

I recently had the windshield replaced by Safelite on a '22 Kia Telluride, but the rubber strip is buckled in a couple spots along the top. I asked and was told the seal is good, but the look annoys me. Is this strip able to be replaced independently, or would it require an entirely new windshield?
https://preview.redd.it/t295zf1rd83b1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed6b1f0189e5bf1c5560aca7413f78a64c54cfbb
https://preview.redd.it/924umf1rd83b1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bc979e7a9dcc8ef0b06da0c17830f11732d438dc

I’m looking for a reliable, somewhat upscale 3 row SUV that can actually fit an adult in the 3rd row from time to time. A lot of options are out for reliability and also availability. Most used options around me (New York) are not available or a bit overpriced and makes more sense to buy them new.
What do you recommend? Right now I’m between:
-Toyota Grand Highlander
-Honda Pilot (smaller leg room in 3rd row)
-Hyundai Palisade
-Kia Telluride
All fairly reliable, Korean twins having long warranties new, and spacious. For between $40k-$55k let me know which you think is the nicest overall inside and out.

My wife and I have narrowed down our car options to the Telluride or the Odyssey. We have a second kid on the way, 2 dogs, and every so often (months) drive her family around since they take the bus to get here. We need more seat space.
I want the Telluride. I like the style, the technology, and the interior quality.
My wife wants the Odyssey. She thinks we'll need all the extra cargo space. And the middle row seats slide side to side when you want to go to the third row meaning no removing the car seats. Plus it has a TV for the kids. And it's a Honda.
My local Kia reduced their bend you over markup (market adjustment fee) from $10k to $5k recently. I've been asking them all month to get rid of it and had been hearing no, they can't, the manager won't let them. The guy I've been working with said to wait until the last day of the month, then the day before he'll pitch it to the manager as a way to boost their final sales numbers. So far the manager said he wouldn't remove the market adjustment fee of $5k but will add $3k to my trade-in which puts its about $2.5k over Kelley Blue Book value.
I'm so stressed over all this and don't know what to do. My current strategy is to go in tomorrow and say my wire will only agree to the Telluride if the $5k fee is gone completely, whether it's by them overpaying on the trade in or removing the fee. Honda is selling their Odysseys before they even hit the lot near here so there's no room to argue against their MSRP.

Hi! I’m new to having a Kia! I just got a 2023 telluride a few weeks ago and forgive me not knowing this but I can’t seem to find where to address this issue: if I use the digital key rather than the fob, my car starts from my husband’s profile. I had invited him to share the digital key but I’m confused on why it keeps starting from his profile? Thank you in advance!

Hey everyone, this will be my first time buying a car without my dad and I'm afraid I'm going to get taken advantage of. I'm going to kia of Bradenton tomorrow to buy a 2023 telluride in cash full. Can anybody tell me any tips or just general advice of things I may need to know. How will I know if I'm getting a decent deal or not? Also, trading in a vehicle that should get me at minimal 6k according to Edmunds.

Our family car is a full option Sorento with the 3.5L engine. This car really changed how we feel about Kia.
I don’t like to keep cars for too long and want to replace the car later this year…but with what?
Honestly, I can’t find a car that matches what the Kia offers.
Plus, a lot of manufacturers are removing many options from cars whereas the Kia has everything.
EV is not an option due to lack of convenient charging facilities.
I don’t think it makes sense to upgrade to another Sorento. Telluride is our closest bet, I guess, but I wonder if anyone has any other suggestions that I haven’t considered.
Volvo XC60 or XC90 is close but not quite.
Mercedes lacks remote start in my region (Middle East).
BMW X5 is stupid expensive here.

35,750 for a white hatchback ex-l in California
- black leather
- blind spot monitoring
- pearl white
30k msrp + 3k in tax. 2750 in dealer add-ons, which was originally 3600.
Is it possible to negotiate a HPD kit or change out the warranties they want us to pay for (appearance and dent protection 3 year warranty)? They're also including door edge guard, wheel locks, cargo tray, and all weather mats which all totals to 2,750.
We went to another dealership and they're asking 35k out the door, same accessories but no blind spot.
How are we doing?

35,750 for a white hatchback ex-l in California
- black leather
- blind spot monitoring
- pearl white
30k msrp + 3k in tax. 2750 in dealer add-ons, which was originally 3600.
Is it possible to negotiate a HPD kit or change out the warranties they want us to pay for (appearance and dent protection 3 year warranty)? They're also including door edge guard, wheel locks, cargo tray, and all weather mats which all totals to 2,750.
We went to another dealership and they're asking 35k out the door, same accessories but no blind spot.
How are we doing?

I’m considering buying a Kia telluride for the fam but supply seems still to be constrained and I’m trying not to be taken advantage of. I’ve read that dealerships make money on 1) the difference in sales price & invoice price and 2) financing kickback if financed through the manufacturer.
What are other ways to increase profit for the dealership and/or salesman? Are there manufacturer bonuses or thresholds for cars sold/mo? (And if so, how do pre-ordered cars count toward that monthly count?).
It feels like knowing this would help me negotiate and understand the dealership’s values more.

I am feeling very conflicted right now, and I have no idea why. I feel like I know which car is "objectively better" and am already anticipating what kind of responses I will get, but thought I'd post this to try to get my mind right.
Location
Southwest USA
Criteria

• Automatic
• Small SUV
• Can handle off-road terrain on rare occasion (3-5x per year)
• Will be used mostly for 3 - 12 mile trips around suburb/city.

Initial Thoughts

• Trailblazer exterior looks amazing to me, the best looking car IMO in its segment.
• Trailblazer RS/Activ could handle some light off-roading.
• Trailblazer can allow for a lot more cargo space, especially with its flat-folding front passenger seat.
• Seltos EX has a better warranty.
• Seltos has updated technology/infotainment/nav system.
• Seltos has a more luxurious feeling interior.

Test Drive

• Both the Trailblazer and Seltos felt identical, to me, when driven. However, the steering/turn radius of the Seltos might be a tad better.

Pricing

• Quoted $30K out the door for a Trailblazer Activ
• Quoted $32.5K out the door for a Kia Seltos EX

Final Thoughts

• Considering the relatively minor price differences, the Seltos - on paper - seems like it should be the clear winner. It's the most recent model of 2024, it has a much better interiotechnology, and it has a better warranty.
• But for some reason (maybe I was just exhausted from visiting multiple dealerships, and Kia was the last stop for me), I just couldn't get excited behind the wheel of the Kia Seltos. I almost felt underwhelmed, disappointed. I have no idea why I feel like this, as leading up til today, I was quite sure the Kia Seltos was going to be the hands-down winner, and test driving it today was to be just the cherry on top.

Questions to You All

• Am I going insane? If so, can you please help knock some sense into me with why I shouldn't prefer the Trailblazer over the Seltos?
• Have any of you driven both/currently own either of these cars and can shed some insight?
• Is there really much difference between the RS and Activ? (Admittedly, I like the look of the RS more).
• Given the current price quotes and cars - which would you choose and why?

Recently I have noticed numerous people bashing reliability of Kia and Hyundai/ Genesis models on multiple forums. It’s doesn’t make sense to me that a company offering 10 years/100k miles warranty would be unreliable. As far as looks and features both companies provide a good bang for buck and a good option over Japanese rivals. I am currently in market for full size SUV and was really considering between Kia Telluride and Hyundai Palisade. But should I be worried about their long term reliability?

Looking to transport a 2022 Kia Telluride.

In the beginning of 'Bad faith' Joe describes, without naming, recent incidents. I can identify most but not 3.
The first begins, '43 mutilated bodies in varying stages of decomposition have been found buried on the property of a postal employee in Ohio in a deep freeze in the man's basement. Police have recovered ziplock baggies containing human heads and an ice tray full of the eyeballs of his victims'
Wikipedia has a list of serial killers; I can't find this. It sounds like John Wayne Gacy, but he wasn't a postal employee, lived near Chicago, killed 33, buried them under his floorboards.
'What's the temperature in John Wayne Gacy's basement?'
'33 below!'
At 1:20 Joe tells of an operation on Peruvian conjoined twins at a hospital in Washington, DC.
At 4:20, 'A group of 23 illegal immigrants promised jobs in a Houston factory that manufactures stylish and trendy clothing for rich people have died in 100-degree heat in a cargo container where it was left on a pier for over a week.'
I remember a cargo container of Chinese found in New York, and train cars of illegal immigrants in Texas, but not this.