I'm from EU,so GAMES SHOULD work pretty much anywhere
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys,CSGO cases or ANY other virtual currency
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
​
​
Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like YOU have the right to ask me the same
​
​
List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
A Year Of Rain
Absolver
Aeolis Tournament
Age Of Wonders III
Ageless
Airport CEO
AI War 2
Alien Spidy
Aliens Vs Predator Collection
All You Can Eat
Almost There The Platformer
American Fugitive
Amnesia A Machine For Pigs + The Dark Descent (1 key for both games)
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Amnesia Rebirth (X2)
Among Us (X2)
Ancestors The Humankind Odyssey (EU & Africa lock)
Aragami (X2)
Archamon
Army Men RTS
Attack Of The Earthlings
Automobilista
Aven Colony
Avernum 3 Ruined World
Azkend 2 The World Beneath
Back 4 Blood (EU region lock)
Backbone
Band Of Defenders
Banished
Baseball Riot
Batora Lost Haven
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Behind The Frame Finest Scenery NEW
Beholder 2
Bendy And The Dark Revival (X2)
Bendy And The Ink Machine
Betrayer (delisted)
Between The Stars (X2)
Beyond Eyes
Beyond The Wire
Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Bird Of Light
Black Paradox
Blasphemous
Bohemian Killing
Book Of Demons
Bomber Crew Deluxe
Borderlands 3 + Director's Cut (ask about region locks)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition NEW (ask about region locks)
Boreal Blade
Broken Age (X2)
Brothers A Tale Of Two Sons (X2)
Builder Simulator NEW
Butcher
Call Of Juarez
Call Of The Sea (X2)
Call To Arms Basic Edition
Call To Arms Gates Of Hell Ostfront
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chenso Club
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition
Cities In Motion 2
CivCity Rome
Clone Drone In The Danger Zone
Clouds & Sheep 2
Coffin Dodgers
Cook Serve Delicious 3
Company Of Heroes Complete Edition
Control Ultimate Edition
Corridor Z
Cosmic Osmo And The World Beyond The Mackerel
Crash Drive 3
Creatures Inc
Crookz The Big Heist
Crossbow Bloodnight
Crusader Kings Complete
Crying Suns
Dagon The Eldritch Box
Danger Scavenger
Day Of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead In Vinland
Deadly Premonition Director's Cut
Deadbeat Heroes (X2)
Dear Ester Landmark Edition
Death Stranding Director's Cut
Death Squared
Deep Dungeons Of Doom
Deep Sky Derelicts
Demon Turf
Deployment
Desert Child
Destiny 2 Beyond Light NEW
Diaries Of A Spaceport Janitor
Dicey Dungeons (X2)
Dimension Drifter
Distraint 2 + Soundtrack
Divekick
Dog Sled Saga
Double Fine Adventures Complete Series Deluxe
Downwell
Drawful 2
Draw Slasher
Dreadlands
Dread X Collection
Driftland The Magic Revival
Dry Downing
Duke Nukem Forever Collection
Dungeon Marathon
Dungeon Of The Endless
Dungeons 2
Dungeons 2 Complete
Dungeons 3
Dusk
Dwarfs!?
Eador Imperium
EarthX
Eastside Hockey Manager
ECHO
Edge Of Eternity
Effie
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elden Path Of The Forgotten
Embr
Emily Is Away
Empyrion Galactic Survival
Epic Manager
E.T. Armies Deluxe Edition
Etherborn (X2)
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Expeditions Viking
F1 2018 (delisted)
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Fantasy Versus
Farmer's Dynasty
Farming Simulator 17
FIA European Truck Racing
Figment (X2)
Finding Paradise
Fire Ungh's Quest
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling To The Finish
Fluffy Horde
Fobia St. Dinfna Hotel
Forgive Me Father
Framed Collection (X2)
Friday the 13th: The Game
Fun With Ragdolls The Game
Fury Unleashed (X2)
Gang Beasts
Garage Bad Trip (X2)
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Gas Station Simulator
Gauge
Generation Zero NEW
Ghostrunner
Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams + Rise Of The Owlverlord
Gloria Victis NEW
GNOG
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Goat Of Duty
Goetia (X2)
Going Under (X2)
Golden Light
Golf Gang
GoNNER
Grand Ages Medieval
Grand Pigeon's Duty
Greak Memories Of Azur
Gremlins Inc.
Grip Combat Racing + Cygon + Nyvoss + Terra + Vintek DLC (X2)
Guts And Glory (X2)
Hack'n'Slash
Haiku The Robot (X3)
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hammerfight
Headlander
Heal
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor
Hellbound
Hero Defense
Hero's Hour (EU region lock)
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous Action Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2 Courage Under Fire
Hive Jump (X2)
Hiveswap Act 2
Hiveswap Friend Sim (X2)
Hollow Knight
Homeworld Deserts Of Kharak
Hotshot Racing
Hot Tin Roof The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hover (X2)
Human Resource Machine
Hurtworld
I Am Bread
I Am Not A Monster First Contact
Ice Lakes
If Found...
Ikenfell
Impact Winter (delisted)
In Between
Industria
Inexistence Rebirth
Infinite Air With Mark McMorris (delisted)
Influent
Inmost
Interplanetary Enhanced Edition
Intruder
Ion Fury
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Jack Axe
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Juanito Arcade Mayhem
Jump Stars
Jurassic World Evolution
Just Die Already
KartKraft
Kathy Rain Directors Cut
Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (X2)
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe NEW
Kill To Collect
Kingdom Classic (X2)
Kingdom New Lands
Kingdoms Of Amalur Re-Reckoning Fate Edition
King Oddball
Labyrinthine
Last Oasis
Last Tide
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Lead And Gold Gangs Of Wild West (X2)
Legacy Of Dorn Herald Of Oblivion (delisted)
Legend Of Keepers Career Of A Dungeon Master
Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
Lethal League Blaze
Liberated (GOG key)
Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
Light Fall
Little Big Workshop
Lone Fungus
Lost Planet Complete Pack
Lost Ruins
Lust For Darkness
Lust From Beyond M Edition
Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Midnight Ghost Hunt NEW
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
My Lovely Daughter
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Northgard NEW
Not Tonight
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Operation Tango NEW
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight
Pulsar The Lost Colony NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Rain World
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Revita
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skeletal Avenger
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Spiritfarer Farewell Edition NEW
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider (X2)
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Force
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club
The Citadel
The Count Lucador
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Invisible Hand NEW
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Life And Suffering Of Sir Brante
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Warhammer 40K Chaos Gate Daemonhunters NEW
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warhammer Vermintide 2 NEW
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Windjammers 2 NEW
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin (X2)
XCOM Complete Pack
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City
Zombie Army Trilogy

I'm from EU,so GAMES SHOULD work pretty much anywhere
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys,CSGO cases or ANY other virtual currency
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
​
​
Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like YOU have the right to ask me the same
​
​
List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
A Year Of Rain
Absolver
Aeolis Tournament
Age Of Wonders III
Ageless
Airport CEO
AI War 2
Alien Spidy
Aliens Vs Predator Collection
All You Can Eat
Almost There The Platformer
American Fugitive
Amnesia A Machine For Pigs + The Dark Descent (1 key for both games)
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Amnesia Rebirth (X2)
Among Us (X2)
Ancestors The Humankind Odyssey (EU & Africa lock)
Aragami (X2)
Archamon
Army Men RTS
Attack Of The Earthlings
Automobilista
Aven Colony
Avernum 3 Ruined World
Azkend 2 The World Beneath
Back 4 Blood (EU region lock)
Backbone
Band Of Defenders
Banished
Baseball Riot
Batora Lost Haven
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Behind The Frame Finest Scenery NEW
Beholder 2
Bendy And The Dark Revival (X2)
Bendy And The Ink Machine
Betrayer (delisted)
Between The Stars (X2)
Beyond Eyes
Beyond The Wire
Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Bird Of Light
Black Paradox
Blasphemous
Bohemian Killing
Book Of Demons
Bomber Crew Deluxe
Borderlands 3 + Director's Cut (ask about region locks)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition NEW (ask about region locks)
Boreal Blade
Broken Age (X2)
Brothers A Tale Of Two Sons (X2)
Builder Simulator NEW
Butcher
Call Of Juarez
Call Of The Sea (X2)
Call To Arms Basic Edition
Call To Arms Gates Of Hell Ostfront
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chenso Club
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition
Cities In Motion 2
CivCity Rome
Clone Drone In The Danger Zone
Clouds & Sheep 2
Coffin Dodgers
Cook Serve Delicious 3
Company Of Heroes Complete Edition
Control Ultimate Edition
Corridor Z
Cosmic Osmo And The World Beyond The Mackerel
Crash Drive 3
Creatures Inc
Crookz The Big Heist
Crossbow Bloodnight
Crusader Kings Complete
Crying Suns
Dagon The Eldritch Box
Danger Scavenger
Day Of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead In Vinland
Deadly Premonition Director's Cut
Deadbeat Heroes (X2)
Dear Ester Landmark Edition
Death Stranding Director's Cut
Death Squared
Deep Dungeons Of Doom
Deep Sky Derelicts
Demon Turf
Deployment
Desert Child
Destiny 2 Beyond Light NEW
Diaries Of A Spaceport Janitor
Dicey Dungeons (X2)
Dimension Drifter
Distraint 2 + Soundtrack
Divekick
Dog Sled Saga
Double Fine Adventures Complete Series Deluxe
Downwell
Drawful 2
Draw Slasher
Dreadlands
Dread X Collection
Driftland The Magic Revival
Dry Downing
Duke Nukem Forever Collection
Dungeon Marathon
Dungeon Of The Endless
Dungeons 2
Dungeons 2 Complete
Dungeons 3
Dusk
Dwarfs!?
Eador Imperium
EarthX
Eastside Hockey Manager
ECHO
Edge Of Eternity
Effie
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elden Path Of The Forgotten
Embr
Emily Is Away
Empyrion Galactic Survival
Epic Manager
E.T. Armies Deluxe Edition
Etherborn (X2)
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Expeditions Viking
F1 2018 (delisted)
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Fantasy Versus
Farmer's Dynasty
Farming Simulator 17
FIA European Truck Racing
Figment (X2)
Finding Paradise
Fire Ungh's Quest
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling To The Finish
Fluffy Horde
Fobia St. Dinfna Hotel
Forgive Me Father
Framed Collection (X2)
Friday the 13th: The Game
Fun With Ragdolls The Game
Fury Unleashed (X2)
Gang Beasts
Garage Bad Trip (X2)
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Gas Station Simulator
Gauge
Generation Zero NEW
Ghostrunner
Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams + Rise Of The Owlverlord
Gloria Victis NEW
GNOG
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Goat Of Duty
Goetia (X2)
Going Under (X2)
Golden Light
Golf Gang
GoNNER
Grand Ages Medieval
Grand Pigeon's Duty
Greak Memories Of Azur
Gremlins Inc.
Grip Combat Racing + Cygon + Nyvoss + Terra + Vintek DLC (X2)
Guts And Glory (X2)
Hack'n'Slash
Haiku The Robot (X3)
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hammerfight
Headlander
Heal
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor
Hellbound
Hero Defense
Hero's Hour (EU region lock)
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous Action Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2 Courage Under Fire
Hive Jump (X2)
Hiveswap Act 2
Hiveswap Friend Sim (X2)
Hollow Knight
Homeworld Deserts Of Kharak
Hotshot Racing
Hot Tin Roof The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hover (X2)
Human Resource Machine
Hurtworld
I Am Bread
I Am Not A Monster First Contact
Ice Lakes
If Found...
Ikenfell
Impact Winter (delisted)
In Between
Industria
Inexistence Rebirth
Infinite Air With Mark McMorris (delisted)
Influent
Inmost
Interplanetary Enhanced Edition
Intruder
Ion Fury
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Jack Axe
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Juanito Arcade Mayhem
Jump Stars
Jurassic World Evolution
Just Die Already
KartKraft
Kathy Rain Directors Cut
Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (X2)
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe NEW
Kill To Collect
Kingdom Classic (X2)
Kingdom New Lands
Kingdoms Of Amalur Re-Reckoning Fate Edition
King Oddball
Labyrinthine
Last Oasis
Last Tide
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Lead And Gold Gangs Of Wild West (X2)
Legacy Of Dorn Herald Of Oblivion (delisted)
Legend Of Keepers Career Of A Dungeon Master
Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
Lethal League Blaze
Liberated (GOG key)
Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
Light Fall
Little Big Workshop
Lone Fungus
Lost Planet Complete Pack
Lost Ruins
Lust For Darkness
Lust From Beyond M Edition
Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Midnight Ghost Hunt NEW
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
My Lovely Daughter
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Northgard NEW
Not Tonight
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Operation Tango NEW
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight
Pulsar The Lost Colony NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Rain World
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Revita
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skeletal Avenger
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Spiritfarer Farewell Edition NEW
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider (X2)
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Force
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club
The Citadel
The Count Lucador
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Invisible Hand NEW
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Life And Suffering Of Sir Brante
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Warhammer 40K Chaos Gate Daemonhunters NEW
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warhammer Vermintide 2 NEW
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Windjammers 2 NEW
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin (X2)
XCOM Complete Pack
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City
Zombie Army Trilogy

I'm from EU,so GAMES SHOULD work pretty much anywhere
NOT BUYING GAMES,ONLY TRADES - games for games or selling for paypal
No interest in TF2 keys,CSGO cases or ANY other virtual currency
BUYER covers the FEES (if outside EU,EU F&F only)
My Steam account so you don't offer me something I own
My Wishlist
My SGSRep
My IGSRep
​
​
Only looking for Steam games - so don't offer origin,uplay,rockstar,bnet or ANY other launcher
100% of my games keys are bought by me from official stores & I expect the same in return,so don't offer me keyshop games or game keys you got in a trade as I will decline
I retain the right to ask for proof of ownership for ANY game I want - just like YOU have the right to ask me the same
​
​
List of games I have:
Also have the Earthquake Relief bundle but reddit wont let me write all the games cause my topic would be too big - just ask
7 Billion Humans
8Doors Arum's Afterlife Adventure
10 Second Ninja X
60 Seconds!
112 Operator
140
198X
911 Operator
A Case Of Distrust
A Year Of Rain
Absolver
Aeolis Tournament
Age Of Wonders III
Ageless
Airport CEO
AI War 2
Alien Spidy
Aliens Vs Predator Collection
All You Can Eat
Almost There The Platformer
American Fugitive
Amnesia A Machine For Pigs + The Dark Descent (1 key for both games)
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Amnesia Rebirth (X2)
Among Us (X2)
Ancestors The Humankind Odyssey (EU & Africa lock)
Aragami (X2)
Archamon
Army Men RTS
Attack Of The Earthlings
Automobilista
Aven Colony
Avernum 3 Ruined World
Azkend 2 The World Beneath
Back 4 Blood (EU region lock)
Backbone
Band Of Defenders
Banished
Baseball Riot
Batora Lost Haven
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Behind The Frame Finest Scenery NEW
Beholder 2
Bendy And The Dark Revival (X2)
Bendy And The Ink Machine
Betrayer (delisted)
Between The Stars (X2)
Beyond Eyes
Beyond The Wire
Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Bird Of Light
Black Paradox
Blasphemous
Bohemian Killing
Book Of Demons
Bomber Crew Deluxe
Borderlands 3 + Director's Cut (ask about region locks)
Borderlands 3 Super Deluxe Edition NEW (ask about region locks)
Boreal Blade
Broken Age (X2)
Brothers A Tale Of Two Sons (X2)
Builder Simulator NEW
Butcher
Call Of Juarez
Call Of The Sea (X2)
Call To Arms Basic Edition
Call To Arms Gates Of Hell Ostfront
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Chenso Club
Chernobylite Enhanced Edition
Cities In Motion 2
CivCity Rome
Clone Drone In The Danger Zone
Clouds & Sheep 2
Coffin Dodgers
Cook Serve Delicious 3
Company Of Heroes Complete Edition
Control Ultimate Edition
Corridor Z
Cosmic Osmo And The World Beyond The Mackerel
Crash Drive 3
Creatures Inc
Crookz The Big Heist
Crossbow Bloodnight
Crusader Kings Complete
Crying Suns
Dagon The Eldritch Box
Danger Scavenger
Day Of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead In Vinland
Deadly Premonition Director's Cut
Deadbeat Heroes (X2)
Dear Ester Landmark Edition
Death Stranding Director's Cut
Death Squared
Deep Dungeons Of Doom
Deep Sky Derelicts
Demon Turf
Deployment
Desert Child
Destiny 2 Beyond Light NEW
Diaries Of A Spaceport Janitor
Dicey Dungeons (X2)
Dimension Drifter
Distraint 2 + Soundtrack
Divekick
Dog Sled Saga
Double Fine Adventures Complete Series Deluxe
Downwell
Drawful 2
Draw Slasher
Dreadlands
Dread X Collection
Driftland The Magic Revival
Dry Downing
Duke Nukem Forever Collection
Dungeon Marathon
Dungeon Of The Endless
Dungeons 2
Dungeons 2 Complete
Dungeons 3
Dusk
Dwarfs!?
Eador Imperium
EarthX
Eastside Hockey Manager
ECHO
Edge Of Eternity
Effie
Elderborn
Eldest Souls
Elden Path Of The Forgotten
Embr
Emily Is Away
Empyrion Galactic Survival
Epic Manager
E.T. Armies Deluxe Edition
Etherborn (X2)
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Europa Universalis IV
Evergarden
Expeditions Viking
F1 2018 (delisted)
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Fantasy Versus
Farmer's Dynasty
Farming Simulator 17
FIA European Truck Racing
Figment (X2)
Finding Paradise
Fire Ungh's Quest
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling To The Finish
Fluffy Horde
Fobia St. Dinfna Hotel
Forgive Me Father
Framed Collection (X2)
Friday the 13th: The Game
Fun With Ragdolls The Game
Fury Unleashed (X2)
Gang Beasts
Garage Bad Trip (X2)
Gas Guzzlers Extreme
Gas Station Simulator
Gauge
Generation Zero NEW
Ghostrunner
Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams + Rise Of The Owlverlord
Gloria Victis NEW
GNOG
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Goat Of Duty
Goetia (X2)
Going Under (X2)
Golden Light
Golf Gang
GoNNER
Grand Ages Medieval
Grand Pigeon's Duty
Greak Memories Of Azur
Gremlins Inc.
Grip Combat Racing + Cygon + Nyvoss + Terra + Vintek DLC (X2)
Guts And Glory (X2)
Hack'n'Slash
Haiku The Robot (X3)
Hamilton's Great Adventure
Hammerfight
Headlander
Heal
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice
Hello Neighbor
Hellbound
Hero Defense
Hero's Hour (EU region lock)
Hexologic
Hidden & Dangerous Action Pack
Hidden & Dangerous 2 Courage Under Fire
Hive Jump (X2)
Hiveswap Act 2
Hiveswap Friend Sim (X2)
Hollow Knight
Homeworld Deserts Of Kharak
Hotshot Racing
Hot Tin Roof The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hover (X2)
Human Resource Machine
Hurtworld
I Am Bread
I Am Not A Monster First Contact
Ice Lakes
If Found...
Ikenfell
Impact Winter (delisted)
In Between
Industria
Inexistence Rebirth
Infinite Air With Mark McMorris (delisted)
Influent
Inmost
Interplanetary Enhanced Edition
Intruder
Ion Fury
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Jack Axe
Jalopy
Jet Set Knights
Juanito Arcade Mayhem
Jump Stars
Jurassic World Evolution
Just Die Already
KartKraft
Kathy Rain Directors Cut
Keep Talking And Nobody Explodes (X2)
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe NEW
Kill To Collect
Kingdom Classic (X2)
Kingdom New Lands
Kingdoms Of Amalur Re-Reckoning Fate Edition
King Oddball
Labyrinthine
Last Oasis
Last Tide
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Lead And Gold Gangs Of Wild West (X2)
Legacy Of Dorn Herald Of Oblivion (delisted)
Legend Of Keepers Career Of A Dungeon Master
Leisure Suit Larry Retro Bundle (1 to 7)
Lethal League Blaze
Liberated (GOG key)
Lifeless Planet Premium Edition
Light Fall
Little Big Workshop
Lone Fungus
Lost Planet Complete Pack
Lost Ruins
Lust For Darkness
Lust From Beyond M Edition
Magicka
Magrunner Dark Pulse
Maid Of Sker
Main Assembly (X2)
Mars Horizon
Masquerade The Baubles Of Doom
Max Payne 3 (Rockstar Launcher)
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Midnight Ghost Hunt NEW
Midnight Protocol
Mind Scanners
Mini Metro
Miscreated (X2)
Monster Crown
Moon Hunters
Morbid The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Motorsport Manager
Mount And Blade Warband
My Lovely Daughter
Naruto To Boruto Shinobi Striker
Nascar Heat 5 Ultimate
Nebuchadnezzar
NecroVisioN Lost Company
NecroWorn
Neighbours Back From Hell
Neo Cab
Neon Abyss
NeuroVoider
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl (X2)
Ninjin Clash Of Carrots
No Time To Relax
Northgard NEW
Not Tonight
Obduction
Observation
Octahedron
Odyssey The Story Of Science
Of Orcs And Men
Old School Musical
OlliOlli World Rad Edition
On Rusty Trails
One Finger Death Punch 2
Onikira Demon Killer
Operation Tango NEW
Orbital Racer
Orcs Must Die 2 Complete
Original War
Orwell Ignorance Is Strength
Out Of Reach Treasure Royal
Overlord II
Overpass
Override Mech City Brawl
Oxenfree
Pacer
Paint The Town Red
Paper Fire Rookie
Paradise Lost
Path Of Giants
Paw Paw Paw
Payday 2 + Big Mike mask
Peaky Blinders Mastermind (delisted)
Penarium
People Playground (X2)
Perfect Heist 2
PGA Tour 2K21 (X2)
Phoenix Point Year One Edition
Pikuniku
Pine
Pinstripe
Pixplode
Plane Mechanic Simulator
Poöf
Popup Dungeon
Post Void
Pound Of Ground (X2)
PowerSlave Exhumed
Prehistoric Kingdom
Primal Carnage Extinction (X2)
Project Cars GOTY (delisted)
Project Hospital
Project Warlock
Propnight
Pulsar The Lost Colony NEW
Pumped BMX+
Punch Club
Purrfect Date
Quest Of Dungeons
RAD (X2)
Radio Commander
Rad Rodgers Radical Edition
Railroad Tycoon 2
Railroad Tycoon 3
Railway Empire
Rain World
Raji An Ancient Epic
Rebel Cops
Rec Center Tycoon
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Solstice 2 Survivors
Redeemer Enhanced Edition
Redout Enhanced Edition
Re-Legion
Remothered Broken Porcelain
Resident Evil 4
Resident Evil Revelations (X2)
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Retimed
Retrowave
Reventure
Revita
Ring Of Pain
Rings Of Saturn
Riot Civil Unrest
Rise Of Industry
Rise Of Insanity
Riven The Sequel To MYST
Roarr! The Adventures Of Rampage Rex
Roboquest
Rogue Heroes Ruins Of Tasos
Rogue Lords
Rogue Stormers
Rover Mechanic Simulator
RPG Maker VX
Rustler
Sable
Salt And Sanctuary
Satellite Reign
Satisfactory
Saturday Morning RPG
Say No! More
SCP 5K
SCUM (X2)
ScourgeBringer
Serious Sam 2
Serious Sam BFE (X2)
Serious Sam Classics Revolution
Serious Sam Double D XXL
Serious Sam HD The First & Second Encounter (1 key for both)
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Legend Of The Beast
Serious Sam HD The Second Encounter Serious 8
Serious Sam Kamikaze Attack
Serious Sam The Random Encounter
Serious Sam Bogus Detour
Shadow Tactics Aiko's Choice
Shady Part Of Me
She Remembered Caterpillars
She Will Punish Them
Shing!
Shock Troopers
Shogun's Empire Hex Commander
Shuyan Saga
Sid Meier's Civilization VI
Sid Meier's Railroads
Simulacra Collection
Skeletal Avenger
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Skully
Slime Rancher
Slinger VR
Smoke And Sacrifice (X2)
Sniper Elite V2 Remastered
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe + Season Pass
SOMA
Song Of Iron
Soulblight
Spacebase DF-9
Space Hulk Ascension (delisted)
Sparkle 2
Sparkle Unleashed
Spellcaster University
Spelunx And The Caves Of Mr. Seudo
Spiritfarer Farewell Edition NEW
Stacking
Starsand (X2)
Star Wars Jedi Knight Jedi Academy
Star Wars Knights Of The Old Republic
Stasis
State Of Decay 2 Juggernaut Edition
State Of Mind
Steel Rats
Stick Fight The Game (X3)
Stories Untold
Streets Of Fury EX
Strider (X2)
Struggling
Stubbs The Zombie
Styx Shards Of Darkness
Submerged Hidden Depths
Suchart Genius Artist Simulator
Super Indie Carts
Super Magbot
Supraland
SurrounDead (X2)
Surviving The Aftermath
Suzerain
Swag And Sorcery
Sword Legacy Omen
Swords And Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Swords And Souls Neverseen (X2)
Syberia II
Syberia 3 Deluxe Edition
Syberia The World Before
Syndrome
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Table Manners The Physics-Based Dating Game
Tabletop Playground
Tacoma
Take On Helicopters
Tales From Candlekeep Tomb Of Annihilation (delisted)
Tales Of Monkey Island Complete
Talisman Digital Edition + City,Frostmarch,Sacred Pool (trading only as a bundle)
Talisman Origins
Tank Mechanic Simulator
Telefrag VR
Teleglitch Die More Edition
Tennis In The Face
Tennis World Tour (X2)
Tesla Force
Tesla Vs Lovecraft
Tharsis (X2)
The Amazing American Circus
The Ambassador Fractured Timelines
The Adventure Pals
The Battle Of Polytopia Moonrise Deluxe
The Blackout Club
The Citadel
The Count Lucador
The Free Ones (delisted)
The Golf Club 2019 featuring PGA Tour
theHunter Call Of The Wild (X3)
The Invisible Hand NEW
The Journey Down Chapter Three
The King Of Fighters 2002 Unlimited Match
The Last Blade
The Life And Suffering Of Sir Brante
The Long Dark Survival Edition (X2)
The Manhole Masterpiece Edition
The Mims Beginning
The Mortuary Assistant
The Night Of The Rabbit
The Serpent Rogue
The Signifier Director's Cut
The Textorcist The Story of Ray Bibbia (X2)
The Uncertain Last Quiet Day (X2)
The USB Stick Found In The Grass
The Walking Dead Season 1 + 400 Days
The Wild Eight (X2)
They Bleed Pixels
Think Of The Children
This War Of Mine
Thronebreaker The Witcher Tales
THOTH
Through The Darkest Of Times
Timeshift
Time Recoil
Titan Quest Anniversary
Toejam & Earl Back In The Groove
TOEM
Tohu
Tools Up
Tooth And Tail (X2)
Torchlight (X2)
Total Tank Simulator
Totally Accurate Battle Simulator
Toto Temple Deluxe
Tower Of Time (X2)
Tower Unite
Townscaper (X2)
Townsmen A Kingdom Rebuilt
Toybox Turbos
Tracks The Train Set Game
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator (X2)
Tropico 4
True Fear Forsaken Souls Part 1
Tyranny Deluxe Edition
Unexplored
Unloved
Unmetal
Unshaded
Vambrace Cold Soul
Vane
Velocibox
Verdun
Vikings Wolves Of Midgard
Visage
Volcanoids (X2)
V Rally 4
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
Warhammer 40K Chaos Gate Daemonhunters NEW
Warhammer End Times Vermintide
Warhammer Vermintide 2 NEW
Warlock Master Of The Arcane
Warpips
Warsaw
Wasteland 2 Director's Cut
We Are The Dwarves
We Should Talk
Western Press
We Were Here Together
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Where The Water Tastes Like Wine
While True: Learn() Chief Technology Officer Edition
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Windjammers 2 NEW
Wooden Sen'SeY
Worms Rumble + Legends DLC
Wrath Aeon Of Ruin (X2)
XCOM Complete Pack
Xenoraid The First Space War
X Morph Defense + European Assault + Last Bastion + Survival Of The Fittest (1 key for all)
XIII Classic
Xuan-Yuan Sword The Gate Of Firmament
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Ylands Exploration Pack
Yoku's Island Express
Yooka-Laylee And The Impossible Lair
Zack 2 Celestine's Map
ZIC Zombies In City
Zombie Army Trilogy

So I got my Cuisineart over the Ninja Creami. The point of me getting one was to start making protein ice creams and just healthier options than I can get in stores. I started making them with heavy cream and they were turning out great, but I have started trying to make them without the heavy cream now. Rather than my final products becoming creamy they are more icy…and while that’s decent, it’s not what I’m looking for. I’m not trying to waste too much more product, so I wanted to see if there’s some advice any of you veterans can give me to get those thicker, creamy textures while keeping it healthier.

I am looking for a horror comic artist for a 6-page short created for portfolio purposes. The style I am specifically looking for is simplified, emphasizing the grotesque and some gore. Here are some references on similar artist styles to what I am looking for:
Martin Morazzo's Ice cream man Kago Shintaro's Fetus collection
While you don't have to create colored pages, it will be considered a bonus.
I don't check Reddit as much, so please DM me with a link to your portfolio with similar artwork and rates, and I will get back to you. Payment will be made via PayPal or bank deposit. As a prerequisite, all artists need to be able to issue invoices (which can be done via PayPal or professionally).

I am not the OP. Original post is by u/Ad-West-7 in offmychest
TW: Mental illness, self-harm, references to suicide, physical violence, alcohol + drug abuse
Mood Spoiler: Still very sad
Note: This is a follow-up to my previous BORU about this, which can be found here. The newest update is the second one, if you want to skip to it.
~~~
Original - May 9, 2023
My girlfriend had a meltdown and fell asleep on my couch
Last night my (25M) girlfriend (27F) came over to drop off a package that was sent to her house instead of mine. She’s been struggling with depression recently and for the last two weeks she has not been acting herself at all. It seemed like she had not slept in days and her usual high energy self was not there. I asked her if she was okay numerous times but she kept pushing me away and gave one sentence answers about how she is fine and I didn’t need to worry. I know she has a history with suicide but that was when she was a teenager and she has not thought of taking her life since she was 16.
When she came over she was in really bad shape. Her hair was messy and there were bags under her eyes. There were some cuts on her arm that looked like self harm and one of them was bleeding. Her voice was groggy and she was extremely quiet. She came into my apartment, put the package on the kitchen counter, said goodbye, and tried to leave immediately. She thanked me for being a good boyfriend which caught my attention. I felt a sense of doom so I stepped in front of the door and told her to stay for the night. She told me to move but I said she was not in a good condition to drive and something bad might happen.
Suddenly she hit me in the chest and said she wants something bad to happen. She broke down in tears and cried about how stressed out and unappreciated she felt. She talked about how she was the perfect student and went to Berkeley like her parents wanted and became a nurse but they never showed any support for her career. She gets pushed aside and hates how all the attention goes to her sister and she feels unnoticed. She cried about how stressful work has been and how understaffed her hospital is. She had not slept for 37 hours and tried to go to bed a couple hours earlier but couldn’t fall asleep. She hates her body and how much she struggles with maintaining her weight. I picked her up and brought her to the couch and she continued crying and told me she thought about crashing her car multiple times on the way to my apartment and I would be better off with her being dead. She finished off by saying she doesn’t feel human and how difficult it is to get out of bed then fell asleep in the middle of crying. That all happened in a span of about 10 minutes.
I laid her down on the couch and put a pillow under her head. I stopped the bleeding on her arm and put some bandages on the wound after I cleaned it. I put a blanket over her and stroked her hair for a while. I started crying watching her sleep. I knew she was going through a rough time but I did not know how bad it was. I got a blanket and pillow and slept in front of the couch in case she woke up.
It’s 10am right now and she’s still sleeping. She’s been asleep for 14 hours and has not moved. I don’t know what condition she’s going to be in when she wakes up but I hope she is calm and open to talk about getting help.
Edit: Thank you for the replies. She woke up a couple hours ago after sleeping for 16 hours and she explained everything. She was at work two days ago and a elderly patient yelled at her and shoved her. She reached her breaking point and when she got home she threw out her antidepressants (she gets a refill on Thursday) and went into a manic episode. She went to work yesterday without sleep but walked out an hour into her shift and relapsed into self harming. She decided she was going to drive into a tree but wanted to see me one last time so she dropped off the package to do so. Thankfully I saw the signs and stopped her and she had her breakdown. She asked if she could stay with me for a couple of days so we drove to her apartment to get some things and she played music and sang her heart out. She wanted Wingstop so I stopped to order her something and she ran to a grocery store nearby while I was in line and got her favorite ice cream. We drove back to my apartment and ate and she is currently taking a shower. When she gets out and dries off I’m going to sit down with her and talk about what she wants to do regarding her job. I think she’s going to quit tbh. I saw a comment asking me to call out for her but I think she’s going to call out entirely. She seems BURNT OUT. I’m also going to bring up idea of her talking to a therapist again. Thank you for listening to my ramble lol. Your support means a lot to me.
~~~
First Update - May 13, 2023
My girlfriend showed up to my work drunk and high
A couple days ago I posted about how my girlfriend was in the middle of a mental crisis and fell asleep on my couch for half the day. She took a mental health leave from her job and found a therapist this morning who she says will begin to see her next week. She got her medication refills on Thursday and has been trying to relax but when I came home later that day she was not there. I texted her and she said she was out with friends and would be back soon. She came back a couple hours later with a brown bag but did not tell me what it was. She went into my bedroom to hide it and told me not to open it. I was a little concerned but decided not to push it.
It turns out she was hiding cocaine in the bag. I am a firefighter and I worked today and the next two days and tonight she showed up at my station drunk and high out of her mind. She knocked on the door and my Lieutenant opened it and I immediately recognized her drunk voice. She stumbled in asking where I was and started crying when she saw me. My Lieutenant told me to take her home so I guided her to the car and drove her back to my apartment. She started yelling about her job out of nowhere then fell asleep. When I reached my apartment I carried her up the stairs and sat her down on the couch. There were wine bottles and a line of cocaine on my kitchen counter. I called the station and said I would be back in an hour and cleaned up the kitchen and made sure she was not at risk of overdosing.
I have never been more mad in my life. I am okay with alcohol in my apartment but any kind of drugs is unacceptable. My father was a drug addict so drugs are forbidden from my apartment and my girlfriend knows this. I am upset about that but showing up inebriated and high at my job IN FRONT of my coworkers is even more unacceptable. I have been trying my hardest to put myself in a position to move up a rank and now I am the guy who had to drive his drunk girlfriend home. How did she even get to the station in the first place. I hope it was an Uber or something.
I love my girlfriend with all my heart but she needs to find serious professional help. I have been able to weather her manic episodes but this incident is something I am not going to be able to let go quickly. I know she has mental health problems and it’s something I have to accept to be with her but she is not taking her health seriously and it’s affecting her life and it’s starting to affect my life. She said she was going to admit herself to a psychiatric hospital on Thursday but it’s Saturday morning and she’s in my apartment passed out on my couch. I love my girlfriend. I really do. The past four years with her have been amazing but she keeps getting worse and it’s getting harder to help her. I watched my mother ruin her life trying to fix my father and I don’t want to end up on the same path as her. At some point I have to draw a line.
Update: She took herself to the hospital and admitted herself. She sent me a picture of the sign in sheet and apologized for her behavior. I don’t feel anything at this point. I get a break from her for a while so that’s nice. I might break up with her.
~~~
***NEW UPDATE**\*
Second Update - May 27, 2023
My girlfriend broke up with me through a letter and I miss her
My girlfriend was released from the psych ward yesterday and decided to break up with me for a while. She suffered a massive mental health crisis a couple of weeks ago and ended up taking a mental health leave from her job. She showed up at my work drunk and high on cocaine and I had to take her home. She admitted herself to the hospital the next day and stayed for two weeks before she was released.
Last night she knocked on my door before running back to her car. She left a box with all my things from her apartment and a letter attached to the box. In the letter, she said she needs to take a break from our relationship so she can take care of her mental health. She is in an extremely unstable condition and is receiving treatment for depression and suicidal ideation. She does not feel safe being around anyone at the moment and does not trust herself to make logical decisions around people. She is taking her medication and no longer feels like the world is ending but she is going back to the hospital to receive assistance with her depression. She is also going to start eating full meals again and try put on weight.
The next three pages of the letter were filled with her expressing her love for me and apologizing for her behavior. Because she knows I do not want drugs anywhere near my apartment she asked one of her coworkers about a person they know who sells cocaine and she bought a gram. She bought it in a brown bag along with some weed and hoped I would look at it and break up with her. When I didn’t she decided to sniff the cocaine and put a line on the kitchen table. She bought 10 bottles of wine and drank two of them and scattered the bottles around the apartment before taking an Uber to my job. Because I was the only thing that was stopping her from jumping off a bridge she hoped that I would get mad when I saw her walking into the fire station wasted and the state of my apartment when I brought her back and break up with her. Despite my anger, I did not break up with her and she ultimately decided to check herself into the hospital. She dedicated one page to apologizing for her actions that morning and all the things she did before because of her mental health. She doesn’t deserve a patient boyfriend like me who has the biggest heart in the world and she is afraid of corrupting me. She told me to find a woman who does not have the same problems as her and treat that woman with the same respect I gave her. The last page was her telling me how grateful she was to have me as a boyfriend and she could never repay me for the five years of love I gave her. She does not know when she’s going to feel ready to be in my presence again and told me not to come to her house to talk to me. She also drew a portrait of me while she was in the hospital and attached it to the letter.
I started crying in a way I haven’t since I was a kid. I knew what I was getting into when I met her and I never held her mental health against her. She always told me what emotions she was feeling and it helped our relationship greatly. This is a very serious situation and I am glad she recognized she needs professional support instead of trying to deal with it all by herself. She’s had episodes before but nothing like this. I miss her. I miss her so much. My apartment has been quiet for the past two weeks without her being loud and creating noise and I hate it. I miss holding her and rubbing her back while she fell asleep. I miss the streak of blonde hair in her black hair, her big, black, beautiful eyes, and how she always smelled like lavender. I miss cooking for her and making dinner so she had something to eat after a shift. I miss the smells of whatever recipe she was attempting to replicate from Pinterest. I miss the video of Daniel Craig saying “ladies and gentlemen, the weekend” she would send me every Friday after 5pm. I miss her chicken katsu and spam musubi and her cooking. She made two containers of katsu and curry and put them in my refrigerator before she started her cocaine plan and every bite I took made me miss her more. I miss exercising and doing ab workouts with her. I miss trying new hiking trails with her. I miss watching whatever dumb reality tv show she was obsessed with every two months and her asking a million questions every time she watched a sporting event with me. She was the love of my life and my life feels incomplete without her. I told my mom and younger sister we were taking a break and both of them said she feels like a member of our family. I miss her. The last four years have been the happiest times of my life and now all I feel is numbness and sadness. Whenever we had disagreements they never lasted more than two days and we apologized if one of us said something mean. She was the place I called home and the only person I feel safe confiding in and now she’s gone for I don’t know how long. I want to be right by her side giving her a hug and telling her how strong and beautiful she is but I can’t. I know she’s serious about improving her mental health and she’s making an effort to get her so that makes me feel a sense of peace. I hope she is able to find a sense of calmness in her mind. I collected all her things and dropped them off at her house this afternoon then got on the highway and just keep driving for an hour. No music or anything. Just the sound of cars and my thoughts. She deserves to be happy and feel like she wants to live. It hurts to live without her.
Edit: She has never done drugs before. This was the first time she ever bought or did drugs.
~~~
I was really sad to see this update, but perhaps it's for the best while she addresses her mental health. I wish them the best.
Reminder - I am NOT the original poster. Don't forget that commenting on the original posts is not allowed.

Cookies ‘n Cream: A creamy vanilla ice cream with tasty chunks of chocolate crème filled cookies. We were first to create this innovative flavor.
​

INGREDIENTS:

Milk, cream, sugar, skim milk, chocolate crème filled cookies [sugar, wheat flour, palm oil, cocoa (processed with alkali), high fructose corn syrup, soy lecithin, natural and artificial flavor, salt, baking soda], high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, natural and artificial flavor, cellulose gum, vegetable gums (guar, carrageenan, carob bean), annatto color.
Contains Bioengineered Food Ingredients.
​

ALLERGENS:

Contains milk, soy and wheat
Please check actual product label as information may change

Nutrition Facts:

Serving Size: 1/2 cup
Calories: 180 Calories from Fat: 80
Total Fat: 9g
Saturated Fat: 5g
Trans Fat: 0g
Cholesterol: 30mg
Sodium: 90mg
Total Carbohydrates: 21g
Dietary Fiber: 0g
Sugars: 17g
Protein: 3g

[SELL] [US TO US] [PERFUME] [Bath & Body]New Possets and NAVA Added! Hi all! Selling samples that didn’t work out for me.
Shipping is $5 for perfume and I’ll quote for bath & body. Please don’t ghost, if you change your mind please just let me know!
Perfume
**Alpha Musk**
Hard Luck - Not notes: Slink - 3.00Lies & Lace - No notes: 5mL rollerball used 2x - 13.00
**BPAL**
Blood - A vital, bold scent, throbbing with sensuality. Essence of dragon's blood resin, thickened with myrrh and cherry, with a trickle of clove: Imp - 4.00
Bobbing for Ball Gags - Black leather, honeyed amber, and a bite of apple: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Bobbing for Blood Kisses - Gleaming red apples sloshing through lush, creamy vanilla and the honey of the sweetest kiss smeared with the vital throb of husky clove, swollen red cherries, but darkened with the vampiric sensuality of vetiver, soporific poppy and blood red wine, and a skin-light pulse of feral musk: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Burial - The dark side of Earth: deep, brooding forest scents, including juniper and patchouli. The scent of upturned cemetery loam mingling with floral offerings to the dead: Imp - 4.00
Calico Jack - Sea air, driftwood, waterlogged kelp, and the memory of plundered spices sprayed over worn leathers, rough musk, and the salty wooden floorboards of revenge: Imp - 4.00
Dead Leaves, Praline, & Sheer Vanilla - Dead leaves, praline, and sheer vanilla: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Djinn - The scent of black smoke, of crackling flames, and smoldering ashes: Imp - 4.00
Elegba - Coconut, tobacco and sweet, sugared rum: BPAL Imp - 4.00
Every Sweet Thing - Honey-dripping plakous, rose petals, caramelized hazelnut, and goat's milk: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Highest Quality Vagina - Golden amber and vanilla milk, sweet almond, honey, and soft incense: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
An Introduction to Illustrious Kabuki Actors - White sandalwood, vanilla bean, fig froth, and buttercream: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Kiseru - Red sandalwood, vanilla husk, and tobacco smoke: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Lawful - Rigid oak, blue chamomile, rhubarb, and fig leaf: Imp - 4.00
Luceat - Wispy cashmere musk, sweet amber, iris butter, heliotrope, and tolu balsam: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
A Medley of Vulvas - Bourbon vanilla, pink labdanum, pink pepper, honey, and Bushman's candle absolute: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Night-Gaunt - The scent of their thick, rubbery hides is bittersweet, ticklish, and skin-creeping: something akin to yuzu, white grapefruit, and kumquat mixed with the snow-dusted flowers of Mount Ngranek: Imp - 4.00
Obatala - Obatala's ofrenda is soft, white, and pure: milk, coconut meat, shea butter and cool, refreshing water: Imp - 4.00
Oda a La Luz Encantada - Moroccan amber, sweet cream, lavender mist, Roman chamomile, golden musk, and pear blossoms: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Othello - Arabian musk with two roses and a bevy of Middle Eastern and Indian spices: Imp - 4.00
The Small Brown Cat - Warm brown fur, cardamom-infused bourbon vanilla, and a touch of cedarwood: 5mL used 2x - 25.00
Santa Doesn't Need Your Help - Sugar plum, lavender, marshmallows: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
In Silvery Accents, Whispering Low - Cardamom-infused coffee bean, myrrh smoke, vanilla bean, fir needle, and warm, velvet spices: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Snow White Rider - White leather, vanilla ice, and frosted sandalwood: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Still Life With Dooting Skull - Bourbon vanilla with wildflower honey, licorice root, coconut milk, and nutmeg: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Tavern of Hell - White gardenia, ambergris bouquet, lavender fougere, orange blossom, melissa, tobacco flower, coriander, ebony wood, ylang ylang, absinthe and aged whiskey: Imp - 4.00
Tiefling Therapist - A soothing, centering blend of white and red sandalwood, champaca attar, frankincense, and brimstone: Imp - 4.00
This More Than Bloody Deed - Wildflower honey, bourbon vanilla, and lush red labdanum: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
And I Wede My Corne Well I-Now - The scent of the hay harvest suffused with golden amber sunbeams, green cardamom, a handful of hazelnuts, and a bit of clove husk - 5.00Unarmed and Laughing - Sugared vanilla amber with a pop of champagne grape: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Velvet Snow - Frosted sandalwood, vanilla slush, cacao, and myrrh: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Young Corn - Corn Husks and upturned soil, haystacks and spicy late summer breezes: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Young Pilgrim Girl - Black silk and crisp line, polished abalone, wildflower honey, jasmine milk, and rose-touched sweet cream: Ajevie Slink - 5.00
Wicked - A sophisticated, womanly scent: rich myrrh and jasmine draped in the subtlest rose: Imp - 4.00
**Damask Haus**
Damasco - A sultry fusion of spice and sweet, this scent features sweet spiced amardine, warm spicy cardamom, balsamic-spicy elemi, dark creamy vanilla custard balanced by a whisper of grounding patchouli: 2mL roller - 6.50
Fairy Dust - Fairies are not the cute little tinker bells as they are often depicted. Their magic is powerful and fluid with their emotional states. A festive fairy's dust can lull you into bliss whereas a foul mooded fae can dust your ass into utter chaos. Thank god you brought her an offering.. Notes: midnight air in the fae realm where sandalwood trees bloom spun sugar puffs, a wreath of subtle jasmine and sweets sets atop an old stump adorned with a cotton tablecloth that sways in the wind as an offering: 2mL - 6.50
La Petite Mort au Chocolat - Rich cocoa absolute unites simple creamy vanilla and the complex (tobacco vanilla almond) gourmand essence of tonka with a slide of silk across hard aromatic cedar, warm moss, and resinous honey-rich wood amber: 2mL roller - 6.50
Lavender Lace - Lavender, honey, sugar crusted lilacs, vetiver: 2mL roller - 6.50
Pumpkin Monkey - A combination of two comfort food desserts! Who doesn't love pulling apart monkey bread, sticky and sweet? Add pumpkin and it's just too much to resist, at least for us! Notes: pumpkin puree, fresh baked sweetbread, sticky sweet syrup icing, pinch of cinnamon and spices: 2mL roller - 6.50
**Haus of Gloi**
Plotter's Breakfast - Oaty porridge, stove smoke, kindling wood, a hint of gunpowder and pinch of sweet pipe tobacco: Slink - 2.00
Winter Divinity - Sugary white vanilla divinity with a surprising jolt of peppermint: Slink - 1.00
**Imaginary Authors**
The Cobra and the Canary - Lemon, orris, tobacco flowers, leather, hay fields, asphalt: 2mL sprayer used 4x - 3.50
**Moonalisa**
Moonlight Tuberose - No notes - 2.00
**Nocturne Alchemy**
Be My Valentine '23 - Toasted coconut, coconut cake accord, warm caramel accord, Bastet's Ice Cream, caramelized cinnamon accord, and vanilla creme: Crypta Slink - 6.00
Bois de Santal Rouge Vanille - NA Red Sandalwood (nine sandalwood blend) Bastet's Musk absolute, vanilla bean cordial, Bourbon accord infused with Madagascar vanilla beans, Ugandan vanilla bean essence, Moonstone Vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), Bourbon Vanilla absolute (SL), brown sugar and Tahitian Vanilla creme: CO Slink - 7.00
C.C. Caramel Apple Chai Marshmallow Musk - Cotton candy accord, caramelized apple skin, caramel apple accord, vanilla bean, toasted mallow root essential oil and accord, chai black tea (spices of cardamom, star anise, ginger, nutmeg, clove, Cinnamon), Bastet's ice cream confection and aged Bastet's Musk: Crypta Slink - 5.50
C.C Pumpkin Spice Marshmallow Musk - Cotton candy accord, vanilla bean, mallow root, pumpkin puree accord, pumpkin spices of nutmeg, butter-cinnamon and blended into Bastet's Musk: white floral blends of tuberose, mallow, angelica, musk flower, and white lily: Crypta Slink - 5.50
Cotton Candy Vanilla Marshmallow Musk - Crystalline absolute, vanilla bean liquer, Bastet's Musk, marshmallow creme, vanilla, mallow root, vanilla cotton candy accord: CO Slink - 6.00
Crystalline #4 - French lavender, Tahitian lavender, Pink Lily of the Valley enfleurage, pink sugar accord, Kashmir Red Musk absolute Studio Limited, Bastet's Amber, and Crystalline (Studio Limited): 7.75
Crystalline #9 - Vanilla incense accord, myrrh incense, vanilla pod, white cardamom essence, white amber, myrrh wood, Amber accord, sandalwood, and Crystalline (SL): CO Slink - 7.75
Eclipse Alnaeim - Pink vanilla accord, labdanum and pink patchouli accord, eNVie saphir, tonka bean, Moonstone Vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), amber (ozymandias) absolute and vanilla bean husk: Crypta Slink - 7.50
Eclipse Rakkaus - Tonka bean, Kashmir red musk absolute (Studio Limited), black patchouli, baked sugar cookie accord, brown sugar, Bastet's Amber absolute, Moonstone vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), and butter cream frosting essence: Crypta Slink - 7.50
Eclipse Tesoro - Sweet tobacco, pink peppercorn, orange blossom honey accord, Bourbon Vanille absolute, Kobalt Vanilla, Labdanum, and Madagascar Vanilla: CO Slink - 8.00
Encens Bois - Japanese cedar incense accord, Atlas cedar absolute, santalum absolute, Japanese hinoki wood incense, Roman frankincense, frankincense resin tears, and musk: Crypta Slink - 6.50
Encens Vanille - Vanilla bean cordial, labdanum resin, benzoin resin, incense accord, Arabian myrrh wood, Moonstone absolute (Studio Limited), and black vanilla bean infused Ponderosa pine: Crypta Slink - 6.50
Googly Cat - Candied peppermint accord, Egyptian sugar, dark chocolate accord, cacao absolute, Bastet's Musk enhanced with cacao and chocolate accords, and Crystalline Vanilla absolute (Studio Limited): Crypta Slink - 6.00
Halloween 2016 Anubis - Burning patchouli, incense and black honey beneath the darkening skyline. A touch of bergamot and grapefruit essential oil: 2mL - 8.50
Halloween 2022 - Caramel apple accord, green apple skin, marshmallows on an open flame, sweet vanilla caramel, Bastet's Ice Cream absolute accord, light pumpkin spices of nutmeg, white cinnamon and a light firewood and ember rounded out with vanilla bean extracts: Ajevie Slink - 5.50
Llama Llama 2 - Bourbon vanilla absolute (Studio Limited), vanilla bean liqueur, cream soda accord, caramelized patchouli essence and Bastet's Ice Cream: Crypta Slink - 6.00
Sorry I am a Monster - Cinnamon sugar, fried vanilla pastry with powdered sugar accord, sugar, mallow root, toasted marshmallow accord, Bourbon Vanille absolute (Studio Limited) and musk: Crypta Slink - 6.00
Neon Wolf - Vegan leather accord, Studio Limited santalum absolute, vanilla bean, Russian pine with vanilla laced pine needles and Canadian red pine - Crypta Slink - 4.00
V2023 - Pink sugar cube accord, vanilla bean cordial, caramelized brown sugar, caramel butter white chocolate accord, limestone amber, lemon cotton candy accord, and Bastet's Musk - CO Slink - 6.00
Zeus Vanilla Pound Cake - Vanilla, pound cake accord, vanilla bean, vanilla pod, vanilla icing, Bastet's Musk, and creamed (vegan) butter accord: CO Slink - 6.75
**Poesie**
Bijou - Ruby red grapefruit, cardamom, a gin-inspired blend of botanicals including cucumber, rose, juniper, lemon + orange peel, coriander, caraway, pink + black peppercorns, angelica + orris root: 1.15mL - 3.50
Sleepy Ghost - Marshmallow pillows sprinkled with natural lavender essential oil and absolute for sweet dreams: 1.15mL with damaged label - 3.00
Sucre Vanilla - Sparkling white sugar laced with vanilla bean: 2mL with dip - 6.00
Spellbound and Snug - Fizzy cream soda, butterscotch ribbons, marshmallow whipped cream, rosewood desks and squashy armchairs, a cheerful fire: 2mL and 1.15mL with damaged label - 6.50 or 3.00
**Possets**
The Arrow of Love - Sandalwood, sweet oude, golden amber, a touch of mint leaves: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Bolero - Lilac and crystal musk. Floral but very modern: Slink with label taped - 2.00
Cupid and Psyche - Sweet black and Mexican vanilla dance with patchouli on a bed of incense: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Guinevere - Crystalline and yet warming, sandalwood is the precious main component of the blend: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Henry VIII and Jane Seymour - Red musk, hawthorne, golden honey, fine fat vanilla, and sweetest amber: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Judith - Dark Haitian vetiver, cardamom, 'white' sandalwood, tears of frankincense, a very light waft of Madagascar vanilla and a goodly portion of rosewood: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Min Min - Sandalwoods, three of them, combined with the rich enticing scent of leather, a strong and classic patchouli rounds out the central trio. However, there manages to be a soft center to the group, thanks to a slight infusion of rose (and it is not a strong rose scent but one which blended into the mix to be a sent "emollient" to the mix. Resinous, spicy, leathery, assertive: Slink with label taped - 2.00
Perpetual Motion Heart - An infusion of luan wood extract, a small amount of copra, dry vanilla liquor, a white agar note, and hellebore: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Plenary Indulgence - Strong and sweet, the ineffable scent of lilacs combined with a whiff of smoke, knit together with a shot of resin: Slink with handwritten label - 1.00
Ready to Wear Pink Corset - Musk, vanilla bean liquor, a slight tang of steel, and a mist of pink lily: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Reason - Five vanillas and three toffees and a big glop of butter and cream on it all: 6mL used 5x - 17.00
Riding St. George - A very nice bit of leather bounces off a bouquet of black vanilla, iris, and chypre: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Salome - Black and African myrrh, frankincense, cedar, ivory musk, green coffee pulp extract, and a very light misting of black Mexican vanilla: Ajevie Slink - 3.00
Silver Leather - Possets' silver base meets up with strong leather and the two live happily ever after: Ajevie Slink - 4.00
Zombie - You really need a big dose of toasted marshmallow and oude, a bit of burnt stick, and the unmistakable fragrance of the crisp autumn air. Resinous and goody at the same time. Smoky sticky fun: Slink with label taped - 2.00
**Pylies**
Is It Fall Yet? - Pumpkin incense, stale gingerbread, a drop of honey: Pylie Slink - 2.50
**Sorcellarie Apothecary**
Frostbitten - Juniper leaf, douglas fir, fir balsam absolute, white amber, golden amber, cardamom, Himalayan cedar, sandalwood, caramelized sugar, and a hint of maraschino cherry: 1ml sample: 3.50
**Solstice Scents**
Black Leather, Red Lace - Amber, vanilla, & leather: Slink RIS - 2.00
Loggia - Mahogany, amber, musk, vanilla bean, all-spice, cardamom, black pepper, cognac, & sandalwood: Slink x2 - 3.00
**Sugar and Spite**
Bugs n Hisses - Candied apple, coconut shreds, Egyptian and white musks, red currant, vanilla and cashmere: Slink (label is damaged but readable) - 2.00
**Whisper Sisters**
Ghosts of Christmas Past - No notes. 10.00

Previous
Writer's note: And things wind down.
Tune in next week for date night.
Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So you're the two Muck Marchers that we had in the healing ward?" James asked with only mild disbelief. "On all... furry now?"
"Deep Sea Assault Force operatives." Driscoll corrected as the three of them stood in the castle's entryway. The battle was effectively over, and all that was left was recovering the injured or dead while also resettling the displaced civilians to temporary housing. James and the two were-folk were somewhat unnecessary as the royal army operated like a well oiled machine.
"Not anymore we're not." Five said in response. "And come on Driz. Even we called ourselves Muck Marchers some times."
James waved his hand dismissively. He didn't really care what they called their former unit. "And you're...." He gestured at the two of them. ".... members of the folk?" He asked uncertainly.
They both nodded.
"I was almost dead." Five said, her large squirrel eyes looking down for a moment as she remembered the drugged out haze she'd been in as a matter of comfort and survival. "Weren't a lot of other options."
"And I was only a few steps behind her." Driscoll added.
"Right." James said. He'd been aware of both of their states when he and Amina had left. ""Fair. And now you're not only were's... but also armed and dressed like ninjas."
Driscoll shrugged. "Only went for the change so that I could get back at the Agency." He said with a nod at the stream of injured soldiers and civilians being brought in on stretchers. "This is a start."
"This is a shit show." James said softly. "What the hell happened? How'd all of-" He gestured at the same scene. "How'd all this get kicked off?"
"Believe it or not, that part was Vickers too." Five answered. "He smelled the golems without even seeing them. Said you fought one kinda like what was out there. He remembered the scent even though he'd still been human back then. Investigated it."
"And caught the Agency off foot." James realized. "Nice."
James smiled and nodded as he saw Veliry enter the castle next to what at first appeared to be a walking door. Then the door turned and James saw Alixan carrying it in both hands. Veliry waved him over to them as Alixan leaned the large slab of wood up against a wall.
James turned back to the two former Muck Marchers.
"Look um... I don't know what you two and Vickers worked out with the King. But get those weapons turned in with Werner and the.... well, I guess it's an armory now if we're arming our soldiers too. Then just.... I don't know, help out. Or go zonk or something. Just don't make any trouble until I know what's going on."
"We can do that." Driscoll replied. "But what's zonk?"
"Is he gonna be okay?" Five asked uncertainly. "The chief I mean. He looked pretty bad. I've never seen anyone burned like that."
James thought about it for a second. "I don't know." He admitted. "Vickers is a tough old bastard. But elemental fire is one of the few things that can do lingering damage to you guys. Depends on what the healers say." Then he shrugged. "Gonna have to get him a can of tuna or something if he makes it though." He said softly, though with their heightened senses both of the Muck Marchers heard him anyways. "Behave." He said with a pointed finger as he moved away and towards the two mages.
-------------------------------
Amina was still going over the casualty list from the "battle" when her father finally returned to the command room.
The royal guard took assassination attempts seriously, King Farrick's own grandfather had been assassinated nearly two centuries earlier and so their protocols for defending against an attempt were intense. Even with the battle over, getting him out of his bunker was an affair of frustrating checks, double checks, and triple checks. And that was before they even took into consideration the fact that the current threat was from "people" who were being puppeted by an enemy through magic. And the fact that the Guardian herself was one of the people who was supposed to be part of the process only made matters worse.
"I understand that its over." He said as he laid a hand on her shoulder, startling her out of her reading and reminding her of how tired she was. Her feet hurt, and she was reminded of what James had said about them only a few days before in a different part of the world. "Such as it can be." Her father finished.
"Yes." She replied as she placed the scroll on the table in front of her and then stepped aside so he could resume his rightful place. Then softly she said. "I don't know how many more of these we can take." She pointed at a crudely drawn map of the affected area of the city. "Our people I mean."
King Farrick nodded, then tilted his head a bit as he noticed the jar sitting on the table. Normally only water or tea, and occasionally light snack foods if a situation took long enough, were the only foods allowed in the command room. The rule was in place to prevent vital documents form getting damaged, and to ensure that nobody was intoxicated during a time of crisis.
"Are those... onions?" He asked as he pulled one out. His eyes narrowed as he smelled the, surprisingly spicy, pickling brine on them. Then he pulled one out and took a bite. He himself hadn't eaten since he'd been spirited away. Yet another protocol in case the would be assassins were also trying to poison him. "Mmmm. Bit hotter than I like. But tasty."
Amina let out a low chuckle.
"You're not surprised to see me back?" She asked.
"Of course I am dear." He said as he swallowed the bite he'd taken. "And happy. And also curious as to why."
She nodded. Then she pointed at the pickles.
"James and I have some good news." She said as she sat down in one of the chairs and began loosening her boots. She decided then and there to stop wearing boots for the foreseeable future.
"Oh?" The King wondered as he turned his chair to face her. He had known from a glance as he entered the room that the situation was, for all intents and purposes, handled for now. "And what's that?" He asked as he took her hand in his. "What could possibly cause MY eldest daughter to set aside decorum and snub those damnable southern zealots by cutting her trip off early?"
Amina smiled. Then kissed his hand.
"You're going to be a grandfather." She said softly.
King Farrick looked down at the spicy pickled onion in his hand, suddenly realizing why she had them. Then he smiled warmly.
"Well then." He said as he offered it to her. "At least one good thing happened on this most terrible night."
Amina took the onion happily and took a bite of her own. Then she watched as a drop of brine dripped off and down onto one of her boots. It landed next to some of the dried brown blood that she'd stepped in earlier, and the smile faded from her face.
King Farrick saw what she looked at and glanced over to where a few of the castle staff were scrubbing at the stones near the door.
He couldn't let his daughter stay down like that.
"Your mother...." He began as he gave her hand a squeeze. Amina looked up at him curiously. "Also liked spicy things when she was carrying you and your siblings." Then he nodded as the memory came back to him. "But in her case it was cheese. Spicy food and cheese. She'd literally wrap peppers in that creamy cheese that they make over in the Nedari peninsula"
Amina smiled again. "That actually sounds fantastic." She admitted.
The King smiled and laughed gently. Then he gestured at the room around them, and all the people bustling within it.
"Go rest now daughter." He said. "You were not even supposed to be here tonight. I'll see to the rest of this." Amina was too tired and sore to argue it, even if her soldierly instincts told her to stay and see it through.
And as she stood up her father embraced her in a hug. The room quieted for a moment, then everyone made the determination NOT to interrupt what was clearly a moment with the royals, and resumed as they were.
"I think you're going to have to go fetch cheese next. Onion boy." One of the junior officers whispered to the one that had procured the onions earlier. They said it as quiet as was possible given the room's noise level. Even as juniors they knew not to let on that they had been listening.
---------------------------
Nguyen paused to drink from the canteen he'd been given from their new supply room as he took a moment to rest. He'd spent the last few hours helping the other Earth personnel as they did the most menial of tasks needed right now, moving supplies from one spot to the other. This of course only began AFTER several of the royal guards had ensured that their weapons had been returned to storage, and that all of them had been accounted for.
When it had become clear that they'd missed the action, albeit only by minutes, Nguyen and the new ACTING first sergeant had put their people to task helping move the injured and later getting supplies distributed to wherever the Petravians needed them. In this case they were helping move and unpack large tents. A past time that any soldier who'd spent any amount of time in the field knew how to do.
What had surprised him, wasn't that they were setting up tents. It was WHO they set the tents up for.
He had expected them to be used for the wounded, or the Petravian soldiers who had been called away from their homes so they could have a place to rack out for a bit. And he wasn't wrong about that. A few of the tents were being used for those purposes. But most of the tents were being used for the displaced citizens of the city. Those tired, confused, and scared people who had already been refugees in the buildings they'd been living in. Nguyen was surprised to learn that those buildings had been hastily built for them after their previous homes had been destroyed less than a year before. For many of them this was the second time the King had needed to temporarily house them on his own castle grounds with their military tents. Though the few he managed to talk to HAD mentioned that at least this time it was summer, and that for the most part not many of their houses had been outright destroyed.
He was reminded of a humanitarian mission he'd done after the War on Earth had ended. He'd been helping displaced Floridians set up a series of conex houses in one of the resettlement camps that had been needed after much of the Florida coast had been made unlivable. If anything, he thought these tents might have been the better option.
This is what we should have been doing over here. He thought as he saw Perkesse and another soldier lifting up the central support pole for one of the tents while others kept the lines taut. We should have been helping.
"Watch out top." Someone said as they trundled along. They and one of the marines were carrying one of the large red crimson bundles between them.
"I'm not top anymore." He corrected them as he moved out of the way. "Now it's just Sergeant. Williams is First now."
"Uh huh." The Marine said as she passed, clearly not buying it.
And just like that Nguyen was snapped out of his thoughts and moving to get the next bit of work done.
There was gonna be a lot of it to do if they wanted to make up for what they'd done.
What he'd LET them do.

Previous / First
Writer's note: And things wind down.
Tune in next week for date night.
Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So you're the two Muck Marchers that we had in the healing ward?" James asked with only mild disbelief. "And you're all... furry now?"
"Deep Sea Assault Force operatives." Driscoll corrected as the three of them stood in the castle's entryway. The battle was effectively over, and all that was left was recovering the injured or dead while also resettling the displaced civilians to temporary housing. James and the two were-folk were somewhat unnecessary as the royal army operated like a well oiled machine.
"Not anymore we're not." Five said in response. "And come on Driz. Even we called ourselves Muck Marchers some times."
James waved his hand dismissively. He didn't really care what they called their former unit. "And you're...." He gestured at the two of them. ".... members of the folk?" He asked uncertainly.
They both nodded.
"I was almost dead." Five said, her large squirrel eyes looking down for a moment as she remembered the drugged out haze she'd been in as a matter of comfort and survival. "Weren't a lot of other options."
"And I was only a few steps behind her." Driscoll added.
"Right." James said. He'd been aware of both of their states when he and Amina had left. ""Fair. And now you're not only were's... but also armed and dressed like ninjas."
Driscoll shrugged. "Only went for the change so that I could get back at the Agency." He said with a nod at the stream of injured soldiers and civilians being brought in on stretchers. "This is a start."
"This is a shit show." James said softly. "What the hell happened? How'd all of-" He gestured at the same scene. "How'd all this get kicked off?"
"Believe it or not, that part was Vickers too." Five answered. "He smelled the golems without even seeing them. Said you fought one kinda like what was out there. He remembered the scent even though he'd still been human back then. Investigated it."
"And caught the Agency off foot." James realized. "Nice."
James smiled and nodded as he saw Veliry enter the castle next to what at first appeared to be a walking door. Then the door turned and James saw Alixan carrying it in both hands. Veliry waved him over to them as Alixan leaned the large slab of wood up against a wall.
James turned back to the two former Muck Marchers.
"Look um... I don't know what you two and Vickers worked out with the King. But get those weapons turned in with Werner and the.... well, I guess it's an armory now if we're arming our soldiers too. Then just.... I don't know, help out. Or go zonk or something. Just don't make any trouble until I know what's going on."
"We can do that." Driscoll replied. "But what's zonk?"
"Is he gonna be okay?" Five asked uncertainly. "The chief I mean. He looked pretty bad. I've never seen anyone burned like that."
James thought about it for a second. "I don't know." He admitted. "Vickers is a tough old bastard. But elemental fire is one of the few things that can do lingering damage to you guys. Depends on what the healers say." Then he shrugged. "Gonna have to get him a can of tuna or something if he makes it though." He said softly, though with their heightened senses both of the Muck Marchers heard him anyways. "Behave." He said with a pointed finger as he moved away and towards the two mages.
-------------------------------
Amina was still going over the casualty list from the "battle" when her father finally returned to the command room.
The royal guard took assassination attempts seriously, King Farrick's own grandfather had been assassinated nearly two centuries earlier and so their protocols for defending against an attempt were intense. Even with the battle over, getting him out of his bunker was an affair of frustrating checks, double checks, and triple checks. And that was before they even took into consideration the fact that the current threat was from "people" who were being puppeted by an enemy through magic. And the fact that the Guardian herself was one of the people who was supposed to be part of the process only made matters worse.
"I understand that its over." He said as he laid a hand on her shoulder, startling her out of her reading and reminding her of how tired she was. Her feet hurt, and she was reminded of what James had said about them only a few days before in a different part of the world. "Such as it can be." Her father finished.
"Yes." She replied as she placed the scroll on the table in front of her and then stepped aside so he could resume his rightful place. Then softly she said. "I don't know how many more of these we can take." She pointed at a crudely drawn map of the affected area of the city. "Our people I mean."
King Farrick nodded, then tilted his head a bit as he noticed the jar sitting on the table. Normally only water or tea, and occasionally light snack foods if a situation took long enough, were the only foods allowed in the command room. The rule was in place to prevent vital documents form getting damaged, and to ensure that nobody was intoxicated during a time of crisis.
"Are those... onions?" He asked as he pulled one out. His eyes narrowed as he smelled the, surprisingly spicy, pickling brine on them. Then he pulled one out and took a bite. He himself hadn't eaten since he'd been spirited away. Yet another protocol in case the would be assassins were also trying to poison him. "Mmmm. Bit hotter than I like. But tasty."
Amina let out a low chuckle.
"You're not surprised to see me back?" She asked.
"Of course I am dear." He said as he swallowed the bite he'd taken. "And happy. And also curious as to why."
She nodded. Then she pointed at the pickles.
"James and I have some good news." She said as she sat down in one of the chairs and began loosening her boots. She decided then and there to stop wearing boots for the foreseeable future.
"Oh?" The King wondered as he turned his chair to face her. He had known from a glance as he entered the room that the situation was, for all intents and purposes, handled for now. "And what's that?" He asked as he took her hand in his. "What could possibly cause MY eldest daughter to set aside decorum and snub those damnable southern zealots by cutting her trip off early?"
Amina smiled. Then kissed his hand.
"You're going to be a grandfather." She said softly.
King Farrick looked down at the spicy pickled onion in his hand, suddenly realizing why she had them. Then he smiled warmly.
"Well then." He said as he offered it to her. "At least one good thing happened on this most terrible night."
Amina took the onion happily and took a bite of her own. Then she watched as a drop of brine dripped off and down onto one of her boots. It landed next to some of the dried brown blood that she'd stepped in earlier, and the smile faded from her face.
King Farrick saw what she looked at and glanced over to where a few of the castle staff were scrubbing at the stones near the door.
He couldn't let his daughter stay down like that.
"Your mother...." He began as he gave her hand a squeeze. Amina looked up at him curiously. "Also liked spicy things when she was carrying you and your siblings." Then he nodded as the memory came back to him. "But in her case it was cheese. Spicy food and cheese. She'd literally wrap peppers in that creamy cheese that they make over in the Nedari peninsula"
Amina smiled again. "That actually sounds fantastic." She admitted.
The King smiled and laughed gently. Then he gestured at the room around them, and all the people bustling within it.
"Go rest now daughter." He said. "You were not even supposed to be here tonight. I'll see to the rest of this." Amina was too tired and sore to argue it, even if her soldierly instincts told her to stay and see it through.
And as she stood up her father embraced her in a hug. The room quieted for a moment, then everyone made the determination NOT to interrupt what was clearly a moment with the royals, and resumed as they were.
"I think you're going to have to go fetch cheese next. Onion boy." One of the junior officers whispered to the one that had procured the onions earlier. They said it as quiet as was possible given the room's noise level. Even as juniors they knew not to let on that they had been listening.
---------------------------
Nguyen paused to drink from the canteen he'd been given from their new supply room as he took a moment to rest. He'd spent the last few hours helping the other Earth personnel as they did the most menial of tasks needed right now, moving supplies from one spot to the other. This of course only began AFTER several of the royal guards had ensured that their weapons had been returned to storage, and that all of them had been accounted for.
When it had become clear that they'd missed the action, albeit only by minutes, Nguyen and the new ACTING first sergeant had put their people to task helping move the injured and later getting supplies distributed to wherever the Petravians needed them. In this case they were helping move and unpack large tents. A past time that any soldier who'd spent any amount of time in the field knew how to do.
What had surprised him, wasn't that they were setting up tents. It was WHO they set the tents up for.
He had expected them to be used for the wounded, or the Petravian soldiers who had been called away from their homes so they could have a place to rack out for a bit. And he wasn't wrong about that. A few of the tents were being used for those purposes. But most of the tents were being used for the displaced citizens of the city. Those tired, confused, and scared people who had already been refugees in the buildings they'd been living in. Nguyen was surprised to learn that those buildings had been hastily built for them after their previous homes had been destroyed less than a year before. For many of them this was the second time the King had needed to temporarily house them on his own castle grounds with their military tents. Though the few he managed to talk to HAD mentioned that at least this time it was summer, and that for the most part not many of their houses had been outright destroyed.
He was reminded of a humanitarian mission he'd done after the War on Earth had ended. He'd been helping displaced Floridians set up a series of conex houses in one of the resettlement camps that had been needed after much of the Florida coast had been made unlivable. If anything, he thought these tents might have been the better option.
This is what we should have been doing over here. He thought as he saw Perkesse and another soldier lifting up the central support pole for one of the tents while others kept the lines taut. We should have been helping.
"Watch out top." Someone said as they trundled along. They and one of the marines were carrying one of the large red crimson bundles between them.
"I'm not top anymore." He corrected them as he moved out of the way. "Now it's just Sergeant. Williams is First now."
"Uh huh." The Marine said as she passed, clearly not buying it.
And just like that Nguyen was snapped out of his thoughts and moving to get the next bit of work done.
There was gonna be a lot of it to do if they wanted to make up for what they'd done.
What he'd LET them do.

[first] [prev] [next] - [wiki]
No matter how terrible a weapon the Terrans have produced to use upon you, know this: They've got something worse they didn't want to use. - Wemterran analyst
Desperate times call for desperate measures. - Codex of Forbidden Truth
That's the worst thing I've ever seen. - Everyone, sooner or later.
The worst you've seen so far. - The smartass next to them.
Magnus hummed to himself as he reached up and plucked a lemon from the tree.
The day was pleasant. A warm breeze, the artificial sun was shining, and the orchard park smelled of plants, growing things, fruit, and the faint scent of water from the lake.
He heard the sounds of power armor behind him and sighed.
Of course you have to ruin my day, he thought.
Outwardly, nothing changed.
Inside, Magnus activated his combat systems, putting them on either standby or low power.
"I can hear you," Magnus said, starting to peel the lemon as he turned around slowly.
The two Sword Knights stood facing him, blaze rifles leveled, roughly a hundred meters away.
"We have to secure the SUDS facility," Sword One stated.
"Mommy said so," the second one said.
Magnus nodded. "And we should always do what our mothers tell us to do," he said agreeably. He nodded down toward the lemon he was peeling. "Want a bite?"
"No," Sword Two said.
"Enough with the fruit!" Sword One said.
"What? I like fruit," Magnus said. He held up the lemon. "This one in particular. It has certain acids that I need. The vitamins and minerals in it are crucial to a healthy and happy life."
"If swear to God, if you say one more word about fruit..." Sword One said, letting the threat hang in the air.
Magnus smiled, taking a bite out of the lemon and slowly chewing it, enjoying the sour acidic taste.
"We have to kill you. You aren't authorized to be here," Sword One said.
"And your mother told you to," Magnus said, swallowing the bite. He smiled. "You sent the Tome Knight to kill my sister and the Rose Knight to kill my Captain."
Sword Two nodded. "By now, your sister is dead and the Captain has killed that alien."
Magnus chuckled, taking another bite and chewing slowly.
"What's so funny?" Sword One asked.
Magnus kept chewing and smiling.
"ANSWER ME!" Sword One shouted.
Magnus held up his hand, making a show of chewing and then swallowing.
"That you think my sister is dead," Magnus said. He chuckled again. "Archaic armor. Out of date weaponry I wouldn't use for home defense. Against us. The Twins."
Magnus gave no clue that he had read Captain Nakteti's messages on his retinal link.
"You have a sword. We have guns," Sword Two sneered.
"And a lemon," Magnus held up the half-eaten peeled lemon.
"THAT'S IT!" Sword One screamed.
For Magnus everything suddenly slowed down as his mind and body went into overdrive. He let go of the lemon and it seemed to hang in mid-air as he moved forward, drawing his sword. He could feel the 'sleeper' implants in his muscles go offline, feel his full strength flowing into his body as his muscle tissue purged the ATP-blockers that normally filled his muscle tissue.
The two armored figures were stock still to Magnus as he moved up to them, came to a stop, his foot throwing up dirt as he skidded sideways, sword back behind his head.
One stroke and he pivoted smoothly, turning and making another stroke.
The sparks were just starting to flash. The lemon was only a few inches lower than it was.
Magnus stepped behind them, the tip of his sword biting deeply into the backs of the knees on first the right legs, then the left legs of both armored men.
He felt the crunch of metal and circuitry.
But no soft spongy feeling of flesh.
He finished up with running back to the lemon, which had dropped a foot, sheathing his blade, and grabbing the lemon out of mid-air.
Sparks hadn't even shot from the backs of the Chronotronic Knight's knees. Their hands were just starting to drop from the wrists, the rifles just starting to fall into two pieces.
His systems went back to standby.
The hands dropped to the ground, still holding the rifle. Sparks shot from the backs of the knees and the amputated wrists.
Both Chronotronic Knights screamed.
Magnus took a bite of the lemon, chewing slowly as he walked forward.
"You know," he said conversationally, "If you're going to pick a fight with someone, you really shouldn't drop your hands before you pull the trigger."
He stopped and looked down at them. "You might want to be sure you can stand and fight too."
Sword Two looked up. "You cheated," he said.
Magnus frowned. It sounded like the armored man was crying.
"All's fair," Magnus shrugged. "You tried punching way out of your weight class."
"Mommy's going to be mad my hands fell off," the other one said.
To Magnus it sounded like he was weeping. He frowned as he popped the last of the lemon into his mouth and moved around behind Sword One.
"Well, let's get a look at you," he said, reaching out and feeling under the edge of the helmet.
"No. Don't. You're not supposed to look at us," Sword One said, trying to move forward on his knees.
"Mommy doesn't want people to look at us," Sword Two said.
Magnus stepped back, his frown deepening.
He hadn't felt any emergency catches or any other way to remove the helmet.
It felt more like a robot's head than a power armor helmet.
"Magnus! Don't! Don't kill them!" Nakteti's voice rang in his ear.
"Why not?" Magnus asked, looking at where both of the armored men were pushing around their hands with the stumps of their wrists.
When she told him, his eyes opened wide and he stared at the two weeping Knights with horrified eyes.
"Menhit redeem us," he whispered.
-----
The cherry broke free of the branch with an almost inaudible snap, the fruit bright red and full of sweet juice filled pulp.
Surscee lowered her hand and looked at the cherry, smiling.
To her, fruit was better tasting then the scientifically designed to appeal to the broadest palates nutri-forge template driven foods.
True, it had a small bee-kiss on one side, but that little brown imperfection made her smile.
She used a thumbnail to split the cherry at the seam and shuck the pit out, sucking the juice off of the pit before tucking it into a pocket on her leather skirt. She popped the cherry in her mouth and slowly turned around.
"Sooner or later, you have to make a decision," Surscee said, smiling. "You can stand in the bushes until the anomaly burns out if you want, but you might get bored."
"The final two SUDS layers are separating," came the synthesized male voice of the Tome Knight.
"Indeed," Surscee said. "That is why we can pick the fruit now. Before, the overlapping temporal zones made it impossible to pick them. This," she hefted the stem in her hand. "Means that we were successful."
"I cannot permit unauthorized access to this facility. It's mankind's one edge against a universe that Momma says wants nothing more than to destroy us," the Tome Knight said.
"I could say the same," Surscee said. "An archaic violent relic of a time nine thousand years in our past. Scarred by the Glassing and riven by The Scream. Out of time, your people dead and gone, the war you are fighting taught to children in school with all the passion of a bread recipe, your enemy now one of our most valued allies."
"That changes nothing!" the Tome Knight said.
The voice suddenly changed to that of a little girl.
"I'll kill her mommy. I won't let her get away," the Tome Knight said.
"That voice isn't your mommy," Surscee said, turning away.
"Yes it is," the Tome Knight's voice was male again.
"Your mommy isn't here," Surscee said. "Just as my mother is not here," she reached up and plucked another cherry.
"She won't get away, mommy," the little girl voice.
"Did it hurt?" Surscee asked, pitting the cherry with her thumbnail.
"Did what hurt?" the male voice again.
"What they did to you. Before they sealed you in that armor. When they sealed you in that armor. Did it hurt?" Surscee reached up and plucked a trio of cherries touching each other. She turned around, pitting them with her thumbnail.
"Does it hurt now?" she asked.
The Tome Knight was holding still.
"Your head hurts. Your angry," Surscee said softly, walking forward slowly. "What are you, Knight of the Tome? In that armor, what are you?"
"Mommy says not to tell," the Tome Knight said. The blaze rifle was leveled at Surscee. "I'm sorry, but mommy says you have to die."
Surscee brought her hand up, rings of light filled with glowing runes around her hand, wrist, and forearm.
The Tome Knight pulled the trigger.
The golden-white beam hit something in front of Surscee's palm, a rippling field full of runic script appearing.
Surscee kept walking forward, chewing on the cherry in her mouth. Still holding the cherries in her hand, she used her thumb and forefinger to release the catches on the front of her leather bustier, the exposed top slope of her breasts already glimmering with sweat.
The Tome Knight screamed in rage and pulled the trigger again.
Surscee held her hand out, wrist cocked, the beam hitting the field in front of her palm, as she kept walking slowly forward. She held out two fingers from the hand she was holding the cherries with, making a quick set of runes.
The rifle started to dissolve.
"MOMMY SAYS CHOP YOU UP!" the Tome Knight screamed, dropping the crumbling rifle and reaching for the force blade on their waist.
Surscee used her thumb to pop another cherry in her mouth as she took another step forward. She drew a quick rune with her cherry juice stained fingers, stepping through the glowing rune as she did so, sweat running down her back, her shoulders steaming as the sweat evaporated.
The Tome Knight held out the force blade handle and thumbed the trigger.
Nothing happened.
They clicked it again.
Surscee shook her head. "It will avail you not. I disabled it as soon as you raised the rifle," she said.
A halo of light appeared around the Tome Knight's clenched fist, shining edges with runes moving in a circle in the middle of the halo.
The Tome Knight stared at the force blade as Surscee took another pair of steps forward.
"You face a sorceress, whose knowledge far exceeds your own, child," Surscee said, the words more habit than thought through.
"I'M NOT YOUR CHILD!" the Tome Knight screamed, distortion filling the voice, throwing away the force blade handle and shaking their hand.
Surscee frowned.
"I can hit you to death!" the Tome Knight said, raising their arms and preparing to rush forward.
Surscee made quick motions and chains of burning blue fire leapt up from the ground, going around the Tome Knight's waist, their wrists, their ankles, their chest, around their neck. The chains clattered as they tightened.
The Tome Knight went over backwards with a cry of rage, screaming louder when they were pulled spread-eagle.
Surscee tossed the last cherry up in the air, opening her mouth and catching it, before walking up and stopping next to the Tome Knight.
"No. Mommy says I have to kill you," the Tome Knight said.
Surscee frowned at how it sounded like the Tome Knight was weeping behind the synthesized voice.
"What are you in there?" she asked softly. "Ion bonded warsteel laminate. Nanite protective layer in the laminate," she touched the chest.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" the Tome Knight screamed. "MOMMY! HELP ME, MOMMY!"
Surscee leaned forward to look into the optics of the helmet, uncaring that her breasts dropped from her loosened bustier beyond the fact that she could feel the heat rush off of her.
She froze at the odd noise the Tome Knight started making.
The Tome Knight was stock still, staring at Surscee's exposed breasts.
And making a lip smacking sucking sound.
"Oh, by the dark and fell fallen Titans Fyzar and Monstersano," Surscee said, her hand going to her mouth with shock. "Bellona protect me from such evil."
-----
Nakteti looked away from where Surscee was standing at the head of the medical bed, gently stroking the helmeted forehead of the Tome Knight.
"They're what?" she asked Chuck.
"It's hard to explain. I don't even know how it was done," Chuck said.
"Try," Nakteti said.
"They're children," Surscee said softly. "No, they're infants," she stroked the forehead of the helmet. "Enraged infants."
"But I thought the Digital Omnimessiah cured that," Nakteti said. "The Second Miracle."
"These... these..." Chuck said.
"People," Magnus said, his voice hard and brooking no argument. "Call them people, if nothing else for what they could have been."
"These people," Chuck's shoulders slumped. "Are enraged infants impressed with SUDS recordings of trained Combine troops. Who knows what else was done to them."
"But we've been working for years," Nakteti protested.
"Chronotrons keep them from changing too much. They're basically frozen like that," Chuck said. "This... this is monstrous."
"Are he in pain?" Magnus asked, looking up from the Knight of the Sword his hand was resting on.
"He was, till I overrode the suit interface," Chuck said. "They feel damage to the suit as if you had done it to their bodies," he gave a defeated sounding sigh. "They're young enough that their brains never discerned the difference between their own bodies and the armor. To their brains, they're one and the same."
"Can you do anything?" Surscee asked.
Chuck shook his head. "I wouldn't know where to even start. I barely understand what was done to them, much less how it was done. Without that, I have no idea how to undo it."
"The Old Gods preserve us," Nakteti said, shaking her head.
"It might be more merciful just to kill them," Chuck said.
Magnus looked around the room in the empty medical center, saw everyone's face, and gave a sigh of frustration.
"I'll do it," he said, drawing the knife from his belt. He looked at the others. "Why don't you go outside."
"I will stay," Surscee said, her voice soft and gentle. "I will not leave my brother alone to perform such a terrible task."
"As your liege, I will stay to witness what was done by my will," Nakteti said.
"Well, that means I can't leave. I'm not going to be the guy who leaves," Chuck said.
"Digital Omnimessiah grant me the strength to carry the burden of what I must do," Magnus said solemnly, placing his hand on the left side of the Sword Knight's chest, lowering the dagger to aim at the side of the armor. "Give me the guidance to do what is right, what is merciful, no matter how heavy the task is."
There was a light buzzing sound, like bees.
"Stay thy hand, Magnus."
Nakteti turned and stared.
The Digital Omnimessiah stood at the doorway, made up of flowing blue code with splotches of silver here and there.
"I am with you. Let me guide you along this dark path."
Nakteti went down on one knee.
[first] [prev] [next] - [wiki]

I have a sensitive stomach and cannot eat most diary. I’m okay with Greek yogurt but milk and ice cream wreck me.
I have tried both Orgain (Vegan) and Premiere Protein both give me horrible diarrhea and gas.
Has anyone found something better?

🛑 Variant Testing of this new purchasing offer feature - offer type is turned completely on or off for you device; variants are assigned randomly at the point of installation 🛑 

[first] [prev] [next] - [wiki]
Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill. - The Daywalker, Third Vampire War, Age of Paranoia
Whatever I lost, I lost a long time ago. - Barbara, Third Zombie War, Age of Paranoia
This is the dumbest shit we've ever done. - Everyone everywhere.
The dumbest shit so far. - The smartass next to them.
"Captain," Chuck's voice was quiet, barely audible to her ear. "Don't react, just lay there."
Nakteti held still, able to tell by the slight tingling that Chuck was using her mastoid implant to talk to her over a secure channel.
She brought up the visual keyboard and rapidly typed out on her retinal link. "Sit-rep."
"Our four guests are talking. They think with Magnus and Surscee out in the park picking apples and you asleep, that the simple act of moving away from the computers will keep me from listening in," Chuck said.
"Patch me in," Nakteti typed.
There was a slight sound of static.
"...we knew this was a one-way trip when we left Darkside," the Rose Knight was saying.
"Well, duh, the Mantid glassed Earth and the colonies. We knew that," Sword Knight One said. Nakteti could see his face, that he was chewing on something. He swallowed. "Momma already told us that."
"The mission objectives are still unchanged. Get the SUDS back online or figure out a way to start repairs," the Rose Knight said. "Momma gave us the orders, we follow them."
"Which we are doing," the Tome Knight stated, her voice cold and remote. Nakteti noted that her face was deliberately held expressionless, but her chin was slightly tilted up, and she was looking at the internal camera of her helmet down the length of her nose. "Without the help of the alien, that AI, and those twins, we would still be stuck with our equipment malfunctioning and leaving us stuck at the center of a layered time distortion."
"Do you really trust her? Trust their story? That it's been nine thousand years since the Glassing. That there was something called the Digital Omnimessiah and the Twelve Biological Apostles?" the Rose Knight asked, a slight sneer in his voice. "That just curiosity and luck led her here?"
"Then what, she's a Mantid slave race spy? Come here to... I don't know, repair the SUDS so we get back our manpower edge?" the Tome Knight asked. This time she was the one sneering. "The stupid bullshit of reducing military manpower to bare minimum with the excuse of 'oh, we can just pull them from the SUDS and force-growth clones for them, that way their cybernetics are modern and they can be put in the SUDS at the height of their skills instead of suffering skill degradation' came back to bite us on the ass."
"Armistice agreements mandated everyone have only a quarter-million troops, outside of the United Nations of Sol," the Rose Knight said. "It kept the peace."
"Yeah, that and vegetation that would eat you if you sat in one place for too long," Sword Knight Two snorted. He chewed on something for a moment, swallowed, the continued, "Face it, we're on the edge of extinction. If the Mantid don't get us, the plants will."
"Theoretically, glassing Earth would take care of the Extinction Agenda attack," the Tome Knight said.
"We're getting side-tracked," Sword Knight Two said. "That dude, Magnus,"
"Gods above, he's fucking annoying," Sword Knight One said, chewing at the end of his sentence.
"If I hear his sister bitch about not having any fruit to eat one more time, I swear, I'm going to go completely ape shit," Sword Knight Two added. "Anyway, that dude, Magnus, he said that the next temporal dissonance layer is about to be peeled off. That leaves two more layers."
"And there's the problem. Once they peel off the last layer, they'll have full access to the SUDS facility," the Rose Knight said. "Which is in direct conflict to our mission orders to secure possession of the SUDS facility."
"Except our orders are nine thousand years out of date," the Tome Knight said. "The Combine is gone, replaced by the Imperium. I read that part. I know the guy who founded the Imperium, well, I served under him. He's some United Nations of Sol representative's son and a complete douche."
"And the Imperium was replaced by the Confederacy," Sword Knight Two said, swallowing whatever he was chewing on.
"Yeah, five thousand years after the Imperium got its skull kicked in by someone with the goofy ass name of Daxin Freeborn," Sword Knight One said. "Sounds like some hab block ganger bullshit name to me."
"And 'Martial Orders'? Like the Templars? For who? Christianity? Islam? Hinduism? Scientology?" Sword Knight Two sneered. "The whole thing sounds like bullshit to me."
"But the evidence is clear," The Tome Knight broke in.
"What evidence? A file on a computer? I can write you one that states those stupid characters from the Gorilla Girls tri-vee show took over the universe and we all have to wear gorilla costumes now," the Rose Knight said.
The Tome Knight made a disgusted noise. "The tech, dumbass."
"Watch your words and tone with me," the Rose Knight snapped.
"The technology," the Tome Knight said.
"Better."
"Our armor has the best in miniaturization tech, and we've only got a nine q-bit system. That Surscee woman has a computer embedded in her forearm that's running at least ten-twenty-four q-bits. A computer only a little bigger than a piece of gum," the Tome Knight stated. "Those temporal charges are light years ahead of anything we have."
"Mantid technology?" Sword Knight One guessed.
"If the Mantid are that advanced, we've already lost the war," the Tome Knight said. She lifted her chin again. "We must take into account the fact that nine thousand years have passed since we entered the mat-trans at the Darkside Facility to get here," she stated coldly. "The team waiting for us to return is long dead."
"Maybe we can go back and help them?" Sword Knight One asked. He frowned, then broke into a big smile.
"No. They'll have their hands full re-activating the facility from the damage from when half the staff went crazy," the Tome Knight said. She shook her head. "Losing the engineering and scientific staff means the facility is little more than a habitat orbiting an anomaly."
"We can't just leave them. We need to do something," Sword Knight Two said.
"They're dead. You can't go back in time. You'll hit the energy limit or get the worst possible outcome, or you'll spaghetti," the Tome Knight said. "I've told you that before. I stated it during the mission briefing."
"What about Momma?" Sword Knight One said, his voice wistful.
"We all knew this might be a one way trip," the Rose Knight repeated. There was silence for a moment. "I'll consider what each of you have stated and decide if the mission parameters should be adjusted," he paused. "Get some sleep."
"Not tired," Sword Knight Two said.
"Don't wanna," Sword Knight One said.
"I have research I must continue," the Tome Knight said.
"Doesn't matter. We don't have to worry about an ambush. Set reflex triggers," the Rose Knight said.
One by one they confirmed they'd set their reflex triggers.
"Nunc me dormiam," the Rose Knight said, his voice replaced by a woman's voice that was accompanied by a quick series of tones.
Nakteti watched as all of their eyes closed and they moved almost immediately into REM sleep.
"Mnemonic triggers," Chuck said. "I got the tones. In case it requires that female voice, I've got a high fidelty multi-tonal recording."
"Good," Nakteti said. "I don't want to kill them if I don't have to."
"And if they force it?" Chuck asked.
"Then I'll kill them."
-----
Nakteti spooled out the superconductor cable carefully, moving between one temporal disruptostabilizer and the other. She stopped, plugged it into the repeater, then ran another cable.
She was going over the discussion again in her head.
The four had still never taken off their armor, and Nakteti kept chewing over that fact, over and over.
She looked around, realized she was the only living thing for a couple thousand miles, and touched her implant.
"Chuck, do you read?" she asked.
"I read you, Captain," Chuck said. "Line is secure."
"Good," she said. "Do we have any visuals on who is inside that armor and what they look like?"
"Internal helmet cam," Chuck said.
"Anything besides that?" Nakteti asked.
"No. It's live feed," Chuck said.
"Is it?" Nakteti asked. "Seriously. Is it? Could it be computer overlay?"
"You mean, they're using digital avatars?" Chuck said.
"It's just something about the feed. Something about them that I keep chewing over," Nakteti said. "Can Surscee get a better read on them?"
"No. Their armor is sealed. It's a closed system with memory metal joints," Chuck said. "Internal power systems. The only thing that armor gives off is their suit telemetry, communications, radiation, and visual light reflection."
Nakteti sat down on a bench, pulling out her water flask and taking a long drink.
"Something's not right. We've been doing this for months, maybe a year or more, it's hard to tell with the temporal disruptions," Nakteti said. "We know virtually nothing about them. If anything, they'll withdrawing more and more."
She took another drink and put away the flask. "See if you can hack their armor systems further, but be subtle."
"The only input their systems allow is that one single encrypted channel, and then only compressed bursts," Chuck said. "They aren't even using a frequency agile system."
Chuck made a slight static noise. "You're right. That is odd. We don't really have any schematics for Combine Era power armor in our database, but the fact it's completely sealed is weird."
Nakteti thought for a long moment. "You record their conversations, right?"
"I record all of it. The one thing I've managed to do is break their telemetry feed," Chuck said. "Let me look at the feed better."
"Show me that last conversation, only give me an hour or so before that, just visual, on fast forward," Nakteti said.
"What are you looking for?" Chuck asked.
"I don't know," Nakteti admitted.
She watched it through twice.
Something about it was bugging her.
She reached in her pocket and pulled out a Goody Yum-Yum Bar, unwrapping it and chewing on it while she watched it through a third time.
She was halfway through the fourth watch when it dawned on her.
They were chewing on nothing. She never saw them put anything in their mouths. They never had food in their mouths when they talked.
"Chuck?" she asked.
"Here, Captain," the DS answered.
"I need you to run a fast forward. Check to see if you ever see them take a pull of nutripaste or water. Especially around the time they start chewing," she said.
"Checking," Chuck said.
Nakteti finished off her Goody Yum-Yum bar before Chuck got back to her.
"I've checked all the telemetry, and no, they never take a drink of water or any nutripaste nor do they ever appear to have something in their mouths when they talk," Chuck paused. "It points at your idea that what we're seeing is being generated by their suit computers."
"See what you can do about getting me a look at them," Nakteti said.
"I'll be careful," Chuck promised.
Nakteti looked up at where the 'sun' was frozen in the magnetic guidance tube. It had several others just off of it, making it look like a cluster of three stars.
There's something going on, and I don't like it, she thought.
-----
"Anything?" Nakteti asked.
"No. It's really weird. I should be able to cut through archaic code like a hot knife through butter, but it's more than just the code. There's weird hardware safety interlocks. Everything is extremely partitioned, more than even Atrekna War combat armor," Chuck said. "One thing I did get, is that the armors definitely have chronotron leakage. Not much, but enough to tell me that they're using chronotron for something inside the suit."
"Stabilization? Like Confederate armor during the Atrekna war?" Nakteti asked.
Chuck just shrugged. "I'm not sure. You're right, there's something hinky about them. After you noticed that they don't eat I took a better look. There's something weird with their telemetry."
"Like what?" Nakteti asked.
"Like, according to their brain waves, right now, the two Sword Knights are asleep. High activity REM sleep," Chuck said. "Yet, they're out there helping Magnus lay down the last of the control cabling."
"That is strange," Nakteti said. She sighed. "I wish I knew more about Terran combat systems."
"Same here," Chuck said. He looked up suddenly as Nakteti heard the door swoosh open behind her. "Captain!"
She was already lunging forward, landing on her catching hands, using her feet and gripping hands to push herself into a roll that took her behind an unpowered console.
"You might as well come out, xeno," the Rose Knight said. "You brought a sword to a blaze rifle fight."
"Do not do this. We are allies," Chuck tried.
"Silence, AI," the Rose Knight said. "You are an amalgamation of circuits and code, I am a flesh and blood being, touched by the creator himself. You have no right to speak to me, much less attempt to command me."
Nakteti used the time the Rose Knight was monologuing to draw her sword as well as to reach down and activate her personal protective field. She sent off a quick set of emojis to let Surscee and Magnus know they were about to be attacked by the Chronotronic Knights.
"I am blessed by the Digital Omnimessiah," Chuck started to say.
"BLASPHEME!" the Rose Knight shouted.
Nakteti winced at the blaze rifle fired. It made a high pitched screaming sound as the gold/white beam of energy lanced out, bisecting Chuck.
"Please," Chuck said. "As if."
Nakteti pulled a device out of her pouch and slid it across the floor, behind another console. It winked on and Chuck was crouched down behind the console, a blaster pistol in his hand. He looked at Nakteti and nodded.
"Don't make me kill you, Rose Knight," Nakteti said.
"SILENCE, XENO!" the Rose Knight screamed partway through Nakteti's plea.
Nakteti could smell it suddenly. Ozone, scorched copper, rusted iron.
Wrath.
She looked at Chuck and mouthed "Enraged" at him.
Chuck gave an 'of course' slump to his head and shoulders, shaking his head at the same time.
"Come out. You're only prolonging the inevitable," the Rose Knight said. "Your friends are dead or will be soon. They are armed with only swords and are not even wearing armor."
"Take off a limb or two, take them alive," Nakteti ordered over her retinal link.
"Let me try something," Chuck said. He raised his face to the ceiling. ""Nunc me dormiam," he said in a woman's voice.
"YOU'RE NOT MOMMY!" the Rose Knight shrieked.
"Worth a try," Chuck put on Nakteti's retinal link.
Nakteti shrugged, waiting.
The Rose Knight was ranting about xenos, Earth, the Mantid.
Magnus and Surscee both flashed emojis back, Chuck just nodded.
"Ready?" Nakteti asked Chuck over the retinal link.
Chuck nodded.
Nakteti ended up curling up as the Rose Knight started screaming and shooting the walls, the ceiling, random computers.
"I WANT MY MOMMY!" he screamed, his voice crackling with distortion. "MOMMY! DADDY! WHERE ARE YOU?" The sound of the rifle being used to smash things was loud in the sudden silence.
Nakteti blinked and looked at Chuck, who shrugged and mouthed "enraged".
The Rose Knight stopped screaming and Chuck stood up, leveling the blaster pistol.
The Rose Knight was punching and kicking chairs, consoles, computer equipment.
Aiming, the hard-light manifested Chuck fired, hitting the Rose Knight in the knee.
Nakteti rolled out from behind the console, running on four limbs, using her legs and catching hands, holding her sword tight with her gripping hands.
The Rose Knight screamed, his words incoherent.
The Rose Knight's lower leg blew off in a shower of sparks and fluids. The armored Terran went down on one knee, still screaming.
Nakteti came in, standing up, hacking one, twice with the nanite sharpened blade.
The limbs came off in a shower of sparks, showering Nakteti with hydraulic fluids.
Nakteti ignored it.
She'd been splattered with worse.
Chuck stepped up and kicked the Rose Knight onto his back, putting on foot on the armored man's chest.
"I want my mommy," the Rose Knight said.
Nakteti realized that he was weeping.
She held out her hand. "Why? Why did you attack us?"
"Mission. The mission," the Rose Knight said. He started crying again. "I want my mommy."
"That panel. Open it," Chuck said, pointing at a seemless patch on the armor. "Just press against it and let go."
Nakteti did so. The panel slid open, revealing an induction port. Nakteti held up her finger where she had an implanted induction link. Chuck nodded.
Nakteti pressed her finger against the induction jack.
"Let's get a look at you," Chuck said.
"No. You're not supposed to. Don't," the Rose Knight wept. "Mommy."
"Digital Omnimessiah preserve us," Chuck whispered, his eyes going wide with horror. He looked down.
"Have mercy upon us for what we have done," Chuck said.
[first] [prev] [next] - [wiki]

it been a month (sorry but am even more poor now so i cant buy anything, i still have a few but i have to space it out)
am i sitting here at 10 pm (i write the review in multiple days sometimes lol) making a review because i have to declutter my cloths and am TERRIFIED, yes absolutely is it wort it yes
it a few days later and now am watching the fast and the furious am at the 8 right now, ill probably be done by tomorrow, it a fun marathon, right now the best one is the first, but like as a kid my fav was always the 3 one, guess when we grow up our taste grow up too lol
what's a duet: it a concept created by osmofolia (am pretty sure as i never seen it before) where a perfume is made by 2 perfume, so lets say you have exquisite corps that's the perfume you buy, when you receive it you gonna have 2 bottle, vanilla milk and smoked lavender musk, when you layer them on your skin, they become exquisite corps! but the fun part is that you have 3 perfume, and the 2 bottle you get are amazing layering notes (as it their hole purpose) so you can add them to any perfume you want
LIKES: tea, patchouli, tart fruits, close to skin smell, greens (grass, moss, leaf's of all sort (tomato leaf yum)), atmospheric/realistic, citrus, frankincense, cedar, most fruits actually, soil, roses, lavender, salt, sage, cannabis, rosemary, cozy gourmand, marshmallow, smoke, cinnamon actually most spice, pine/fir, violet leaf/violet, i like stuff that feel wet (fog, ocean, rain), ambergris
DISLIKES: ozone, aldehyde, oud, sandalwood, cinnamon leaf, big silage, white floral, especially tuberose and gardenias, but also just florals in general, alcoholics, vetiver, perfumy perfume, most milk, tar, when company say “for woman” or “for man”
HATE OR LOVE no in between: Hay, jasmine, incense, pink pepper, fancy woods, most resins, iris/orris, petrichor
to your attention: this is not really a critique, but it still normal i don't gush over everything, am talking about my taste not trying to sell you anything, i like all the company i talk about and if i don't i will say it. i am a bitch but don't let your feeling get hurt over a little dumb post please ;) love yall lets do this
​
HONEY DUST you mean pollen right?
notes: pollen, hay, honey, beeswax, powdered sugar
though: so on the bottle there the name of the duet (what a spellcaster leaves behind) and a number not the name of the note, and when i got them i was too lazy to look it up to make sure i wrote the right name so i just did it by memory, so now on my bottle it written "pollen" lol. i do think it perfect for this perfume it super dusty to the point were if you have pollen allergy i would tell you to stay away from this, it also gives me the same harshness grass perfume give me sometime but it not at all green wish is kinda weird too maybe the hay? idk but it welcome, this perfume is the mix of comforting sweater and seasonal allergy, weird but i love that in a perfume
color: golden yellow dust of pollen in a gold ornate jar sitting on a red tinted wood table
+
ANTIQUE BOOK if vanilla ice cream and white wood had a child
notes: paper, leather, glue, old book, cedar, vanilla, cetalox
though: every single book fragrance is either super chemical or super woody marshmallow there just no in-between and this is a woody marshmallow that dry down to a sandalwood-y thingy, i don't hate it but i do think it better as a addition to another perfume then by it own. but on it own i think it perfect for the book ladies that are a little (a bit) more conservative then me (and always ladies in a non gendered way lolll i just have a booktok person in mind and shes a woman, but it not a woman perfume none are)
color: a hard cover book with no letter printed on any of the page (your gonna say, oh a drawing pad, nah, a small hard cover where they just made a mistake on the print and there nothing) and also you know the wood you can find around lake and the sea, it super white and soft, that but in a 2x4

WHAT A SPELLCASTER LEAVES BEHIND cream pollen
notes: pollen, hay, honey, beeswax, powdered sugar, paper, leather, glue, old book, cedar, vanilla, cetalox
though: this is interesting the antique book note almost lost itself in the honey dust, but then you smell honey dust on it own again and your like ok i see it much more chill on the dusty-ness, i get it i get it, it also a perfect on the name i love it! what a spellcaster leaves behinds it so descriptive and cute and definetly perfect for the perfume, you can imagine the scene, a big dusty book closing, the dust particule going everywhere, someone closing a candle and then a door.
color: a huge dusty, very dusty book, with gold corner and yellowing pages
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VANILLA MILK sweet brown milk (smell better then it sounds)
notes: cream, caramel , heliotrope, vanilla, milk, musk
though: that's not for me, for sure, i mean to be fair my skin don't work with anything milk, my only love is milk shaka from Damask Haus, to me this is sickly sweet, but i don't think most would think that, if you like a milk caramel this is for you for sure, this is concerning because of the realism, i mean it smell like warm milk, and the thick light brown caramel that looks like melted plastic but actually taste pretty good, just very artificial, witch is weird cuz caramel sauce is so easy to make and i don't get why restaurant and ice cream shop don't make it themselves it like 3 ingredient, butter, sugar and cream, (brown sugar if you want butterscotch) but anyway you also have a bit of a floral note but it just adds to the warm milk, really interesting i see this being very popular with the gourmand people
color: a room temperature glass of milk forgotten on a oval shaped table, you know the big ones in wood, with a super big feet underneath, they always have some middle piece of broderie made by some grand mother and and a flower pot full of fresh flower (white heliotrope this time) on the other side of the table there a caramel cream pie
+
SMOKED LAVENDER MUSK gay fur
notes: lavender, smoke, oakmoss, musk
though: lavender smoke is a pretty common mix, i don't particularly care for but i love this, it fun it sexy and the lavender pretty realistic. if you know a bit about queer history, lavender been a symbol of gay-ness (lol) since the end of the 19th century, and idk if it since i know this fact that i believe all lavender perfume are gay, well this not the exception (i really don't think there one, it like violet) idk know why exactly but this perfume is just very queer to me, only downside, cuz it really smell good, it that it doesn't last super long contrary to vanilla milk that's super persistent
color: light purple fur coat, and a black leather cat suit with cowboy boots and a big chunky belt, but truly it just a smoke lavender love

EXQUISITE CORPS They are cold like porcelain
notes: lavender, smoke, oakmoss, musk, cream, caramel , heliotrope, vanilla, milk, musk
though: you know i bitch a lot about name accuracy but this is spot on, does it smell like a crops, i mean no, not that i know of (and idk every dead i seen was in dust form not corps form) but it has this cold creaminess mix with the floral it just exactly the name. this is amazing if you put just a little bit of the vanilla milk (my opinion, but don't you think this concept is amazing for that you can dose your 2 perfume to make exactly the combi you prefer) i just think it better when it the smoky floral that take the lead it more mortuary less floral caramel
color: cold, soft but lifeless skin. resting on a pile of white and purple flower, white coffin, 2 small marble column on each side to witch rest on top flower pot. people crying
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
7/11 STEAMED MATCHA LATTE a dammed good matcha latte
notes: steam, matcha, warm milk, green tea, cream
though: this is the best of them all, by far, on it own, it just so perfect, the matcha super realistic, it super creamy it has this amazing grass quality and i just sweet enough, as a tea note lover THIS, IS perfect. i were it the most out of the 6 and any combination of the 6. oh last thing it kinda also smell like white chocolate just so you know but there literally nothing else i can say to this perfume it a perfection in simplicity
color: white chocolate and matcha ganache, i kinda want to make a matcha latte recipe but it would be too long cuz there way to many step to make a fancy matcha latte, you'll have to imagine it lol
+
COLD RAIN ON PAVEMENT perfectionism
notes: cold air, humid air, puddles, rain, concrete, tar
though: i hate ozone/aldehydes, but objectifly this one is not too bad, osmofolia has a goesmin single note that is actually realistic rain this one is not (to me) but it still adjacent, it wet, bright, soapy and and a bit floral, i mean ofc i wont like a perfume that give me a headache, but that's not the perfume fault right like, i know this perfume is beautiful, it gives me Ghibli rain scene, like in Arrietty, Totoro or Kiki the Little Witch, it rain but in a very aesthetically pleasing way, am doing a fast and furious marraton but after i feel like watching all the ghibli movie
color: walking next to a flower shop after the rain, a little brightness in the thick of the concrete jungle

ON THE CORNER OF JINHU ROAD too pretty
notes: steam, matcha, warm milk, green tea, cream, cold air, humid air, puddles, rain, concrete, tar
though: every one that read my reviews know 2 thing for sure about me, i hate ozone/aldehydes like we seen right before and i have weird references, well weirdly i don't hate this, i mean not on me it would still give me a head ache like ozone/aldehydes always do but it pleasant, i think it the creaminess, it kinda chill out the harshness of cold rain on pavement, but it still has the buzz-ness, it like a soapy, after the rain drinking a matcha latte (that has some kind of white floral syrup in) it pretty, too pretty for me
color: walking next to a flower shop after the rain, a little brightness in the thick of the concrete jungle but the flower shop is also a coffee shop and you get yourself a matcha latte
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MIX AND MATCH, if you get it you get it if you don't you don't ok
Matcha + Milk = Brown Sugar Matcha Latte
Matcha + Lavender = Dirty Matcha
Matcha + Book = White Chocolate BonBon
Matcha + Pollen = Fancy HoneyBee With Her Little Tea
Milk + Book = Alpha, Eating At The Library
Milk + Pavement = Frolicking, Naked After The Rain
Milk + Pollen = Sexy Picnic
Lavender + Pavement = Smoking In The Flower Field
Lavender + Book = Gay Woodworker
Lavender + Pollen = Ashtray, Potpourri
Pavement + Pollen = Electric Bee, Buzz Buzz
Pavement + Book = Little Bookstore In Old Montréal
Pollen + Book = Reading in the Sunroom
​
i could do a combi of 3 perfume but that just to much work, but if you do please share in the comment your favs lolll
this month as been kinda hell, am still working on my move (to no where lol) and am nowhere near done, now am starting to make the boxes (tomorrow) and it stressing me the fuck out, anyway on that note, how do you make pr? loll (half joking) cuz yeah i miss doing these review, but dont worry i still have maybe 5 review left if i don't count the discontinued stereoplasm
​
also, have a great night love xoxo

Hi guys! I’m 7 months PP and EBF. I was really worried about losing weight while effecting my supply. I did some research and so far I’ve lost 10 pounds already (some water weight but it’s def progress)! I really felt like weight loss meant low supply, but here’s what worked for me!

• cutting out white carbs completely except white rice on occasions. No added sugars. No juices, snacks, cookies or ice cream. I only had Coke Zero/added sweetener in my coffee.
• upping protein intake. My goal weight is 135, I’m currently 150, so my daily protein intake is 130 grams. I start with a high protein breakfast which includes two eggs, 1/3 cup egg whites added and protein bread. That alone comes to about 30 grams of protein. I’ll have some greek yogurt as a snack, protein shake, some leftovers the day before, or protein pasta (chickpea pasta). I can easily hit my goals with these added! I also found a high protein milk here in Canada which is 14 grams a cup, two cups and it’s already 28 grams!
• go on walks a few times a week atleast hitting 5-7k steps.
• added weight lifting workouts at home with dumbbells a few times a week hitting glute muscles especially (since it’s the largest muscle). Hopefully I can get a nice butt after all this because it’s been nearly gone while nursing.

I’ll be posting my journey on here because I was looking for weight loss advice on Reddit while nursing. I was seriously scared that it would ruin my supply that I worked so hard to build. I put bits and pieces together from posts that worked for others, hoping it would work for me. Of course I have some cheat meals here and there but overall this is what I’m following!
I hope it helps ❤️

I bought the creami in part to make fun ice cream for the kids that’ll be healthier than store bought, but also to make “treats” for the wife and I that would be low calorie somewhat like Halo Top or similar.
Upon reading the manual, I’ve noticed it says not to use nonfat yogurt, and all of the recipes include a substantial fat content (which I understand helps to keep the ice cream from icing up). It specifically states at least once not to use nonfat.
Is this just for results, or would the increased ice content harm the motors? What is the key to making less calorie dense “ice cream”, and what is the best of the 11 settings to use for a very low fat ice cream?

I've been meaning to try Solstice Scents for awhile, so I recently jumped on the opportunity to pick up a sample pack during their spring re-opening. Although Solstice Scents provided multiple warnings that shipping times were going to be longer than usual due to order volume, I received my samples in about a week.
It may be helpful to know that I generally like: white amber, white musks, sandalwood, citrus, berries, other fruits, herbs, lush florals and greenery, ambergris accords, oakmoss, vanilla, spices, and tea. And I tend to dislike: honey, jasmine, rose, patchouli, violet, incense, tobacco, leather, and most alcohols.
All scents are oil perfumes tested once after resting for at least five days.
Iced Wisteria - Wisteria Ice Cream, Waffle Cone, Tahitian Vanilla, Sugar Cone, Lilac Infused Sugar
This is the scent that pushed me to make this purchase. I wanted Iced Wisteria to be like Arcana's Apples Crave Leafy Seadragons, which to my nose is a creamy jasmine ice cream, just swapping wisteria in place of jasmine. Sadly, what I get is damp (in a musty, not refreshing way) florals with no detectable trace of waffle or sugar cone. I'll let it rest some more and revisit in a couple of weeks but my hopes are not high. 1/5
Mountain Vanilla - Sweet Clover, Coumarin, Vanilla Musk, Fresh Green Accord, Poplar Buds, Morning Dew
Opens pretty medicinal, dries down to an earthy green vanilla. To me, this is the fraternal twin of Poesie's Villa Diodati and the younger sibling of Possets' Bar Sinister. Mountain Vanilla is well-blended and pretty but I'm not sure I'd reach for it often. 3.5/5
Chiffon - Vanilla, White Musk, White Amber & Lemon Myrtle
Vanilla, white musk, and white amber should make this a safe love for me. However, I think the lemon myrtle (which I'm not familiar with) turns Chiffon into pure bubblegum on me? Also faded fairly quickly compared to the other samples tested here. I will also revisit this one after more rest. 1/5
Chantilly Cream - Fluffy Whipped Cream, Peach Nectar, Vanilla & Yellow Mandarin
Delivers on the creamy fruitiness the notes promise. It's a good inoffensive summer gourmand and I will probably use it up in the next couple of months. 4/5.
Manor - Woody-Vanilla Musk, Vanilla, Agarwood (Oud), Sandalwood
Manor deserves all of the rave reviews I've seen imo. I smell a rich, somewhat spicy wood and vanilla marshmallow. Super wearable, but I think I will enjoy this more in the cooler months. Also lasted nearly all day on my wrist which is great performance for an oil. 5/5.
Snowshoe Pass - White Amber, White Musk, Vanilla Accord, Peppermint Cream, Cold Winds
Yep, that sure is a cool white amber. The mint stays in the background of this fragrance but it is there if you look for it. Like Chiffon, it faded fairly quickly. Nonetheless, I will keep for the winter months. 3.5/5.
EDITING TO ADD that I goofed, Iced Wisteria is not an oil but is in fact alcohol-based! For those curious, it is more potent and long-lived than the oils tested here.

I'm allergic to milk, peas and potatoes (plus some other things that aren't relevant) and was wondering if anyone knows of some good options other than oatly (which is the only brand I know that I can have). I'm based in ohio if that helps

So, we already discussed what DC was doing to match the tenor of the early years of the War on Terror: A grim, smarter-than-it-thinks miniseries full of gratuitous rape that was meant to take the shine off the Silver Age by showing the darker side of its greatest heroes. Marvel, on the other hand, was trying to find a way to capture the zeitgeist of a post-9/11 era of existential threats, constant government surveillance, and the idea that if you weren’t with America, you were against it. A Captain America storyline saw Cap wrestle with the very concept of Guantanamo Bay; like any story arc that involves Cap doubting whether America lives up to its ideals, this made certain conservatives pissy, to the point that bad movie cataloguer Michael Medved wrote an entire article asking if Cap was a traitor. Avengers Disassembled briefly saw the Avengers face down their demons, as the Scarlet Witch goes crazy (again) and starts killing team members, her reality manipulations causing fault lines to form among Marvel’s greatest superteam. But there hadn’t yet been a storyline that would tie the entire Marvel Universe together with the burning question, “Which side are you on?”
Yeah, it’s got nothing to do with the Sokovia Accords. We’d be a lot better off if it did.
Part 1: Mark Millar’s March to the C-Word
Content Warning: Sexual assault. None of this is germane to the topic of the drama, so feel free to skip ahead to Part 1.5 if you don’t want to deal with this. Tl;dr: Mark Millar, the writer of the event, has a near pathological need to be a 3edgy5u contrarian.
Every comics crossover is ultimately a chance for one creative in the stable to shine or falter. The editors pick a writer who has turned out dependable work and give them a chance to try to alter the status quo but good. And for Civil War, Marvel’s EiC Joe Quesada decided the best person to lead the charge was Ultimates writer Mark Millar.
But who is Millar? Well, we could say “edgelord” and leave it at that, but we’re trying to dig deeper. Millar came up in comics alongside fellow Scot Grant Morrison, long before Morrison said the only time they want to bump into Millar on the streets of Glasgow is while going at 100 miles per hour. This antipathy is alleged to have stemmed from Millar copping several ideas from Morrison that went into Superman: Red Son. But after getting a start on Superman Adventures and as a cowriter on parts of Morrison’s JLA run, Millar soon branched out to WildStorm, where he took over The Authority from departing creatowritesex pest Warren Ellis.
The reason I bring up Red Son (for those non-geeks, an alternative universe comic premised on “What if Superman’s rocket had landed in Soviet Russia?”) is to frame a constant refrain about Mark Millar. He has good high-concept ideas… which often get trammeled up in an almost Pavlovian urge to shock, disturb, and/or titillate the reader. For instance, in The Authority, Ellis had introduced Apollo and Midnighter, two close companions who just happened to share the rough power sets and demeanors of Superman and Batman, with a few tweaks. Then he revealed they were boyfriends, which was a pretty bold move for a late Nineties comic book full of widescreen action and lovingly-rendered eviscerations.
In Millar’s first arc on the title, centered on a villainous Jack Kirby clone sending out a team of baddies who totally aren’t the Avengers, Apollo is subdued and is strongly implied to have been raped by someone who’s not Captain America. Apollo gets revenge by destroying EvilCap’s spinal column with his laser vision, then leaving him to the tender mercies of Midnighter, who is strongly implied to have sodomized him with a jackhammer.
In case you can’t tell, Millar loved him some rape. And it kept showing up in his creator-owned titles as well, all of which were basically written as Hollywood pitch docs. Wanted asks the question, “What if the supervillains won and secretly ruled the world from behind the scenes?” Well, an Eminem clone would take the opportunity to step into his dead villainous dad’s shoes and commit a lot of rape (yeah, there’s a reason the movie version replaced this with basically the Euthanatos from Mage: the Ascension getting orders from a magic loom). Chosen asks the question, “What if Jesus were born today?” Well, in a blatantly obvious twist, it turns out he’s actually the Antichrist, and part of his journey into realizing his evil nature involves being raped by all the demons of Hell.
It’s not that Millar can’t write innocent or restrained; he got started on the Superman: the Animated Series comic spin-off, and some of his titles such as Huck and Starlight have been praised for being relatively wholesome (keep in mind Huck is basically “What if Superman was Forrest Gump?” when I say “relatively”). And, as mentioned above, his works are made for high-concept log lines. You might recognize some of his various pitch docs: Kick-Ass, The Secret Service (source for the Kingsman movies), and, as mentioned above, Wanted. It’s just there’s this unctuous contrarian streak to a lot of his titles, a tendency to focus on venality, grotesquerie, and sodomy, with an air of pop culture edge. This also leaked into his image outside of his writing, with comments like “Games are for pedos” and ventures like the creator-owned comics periodical CLiNT (yes, the kerning is intentional). This streak continues to this day, as The Magic Order, a title that emerged from his deal with Netflix, features a magical escapologist who, she feels it very important to tell the reader in a direct monologue, escaped her own abortion. Bottom line, Millar has a sense of vision, but it’s betrayed at times by this reflexive desire to prove he’s smarter than the reader, to rub your face in the contradictions and make you a party to the artifice of it all. Usually with a dash of rape.
But at Marvel, Millar was riding the lightning of the Ultimate Universe. His Ultimates title was drawing on the wide-screen action image of JLA and The Authority, creating the cinematic language that would come to define the MCU. The choice to fantasy cast Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury is why we have Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. He also painted the Hulk as a cannibalistic monster, cemented Hank Pym’s reputation as a wifebeater, and gave us Captain America yelling “Surrender? Do you think this A on my head stands for France?”, so let’s just keep that in perspective.
But the Ultimate Universe was its own pocket universe. Millar was being tapped to write a story for Earth-616, the main Marvel Universe. And he had a vision:

“I opted instead for making the superhero dilemma something a little different. People thought they were dangerous, but they did not want a ban. What they wanted was superheroes paid by the federal government like cops and open to the same kind of scrutiny. It was the perfect solution and nobody, as far as I'm aware, has done this before.”

Yeah. About that.
Part 1.5: What Has Come Before
Ultimately, the crux of Civil War is something that has been explored lightly in the past at Marvel: The idea that, instead of being unlicensed vigilantes who decide the best solution of societal issues is to beat up assholes in spandex, superheroes become licensed government officers that register their true identities with Uncle Sam and solve societal issues by beating up assholes in spandex. In Marvel’s history, it hasn’t gone well. The reality of government liaisons to superhero bodies has ranged from Valerie Cooper, who worked with government mutant team X-Factor but still found herself backing the genocidal Sentinel program as a big “Yeah, but what if…?”, to Henry Peter Gyrich, an inflamed obstructionist asshole who had to be held back from flipping a switch that would depower every superhuman individual on Earth. The idea of heroes themselves bristling against a government they disagreed with had a long history, as there was a period where Steve Rogers quit being Captain America, and the government had to find a replacement while he rode around on a motorcycle in a surprisingly slutty costume. But the idea of registering with the government has usually ended up on the “No” side due to one big cohort at Marvel: Mutants.
Ever since the days of Chris Claremont, a general conceit of the Marvel Universe is that mutants are a stand-in for your minority group of choice. Hated and feared, born different and feeling alienated, painted as an existential menace and threat to the status quo. Of course, it’s long been pointed out that the metaphor breaks down on the general grounds that, say, gays can’t shoot laser beams out of their eyes. I have my thoughts on that which I might share in the comments if someone pokes me hard enough, but it’s been general editorial consensus that people with powers, especially those of persecuted minorities, being compelled to share their true names, addresses, and natures with the federal government is a “That train’s never late!” move. Not only that, it’s a slippery slope. The classic X-Men story “Days of Future Past” is entirely premised on the idea that a government program of genocidal robots built to wipe out mutants will eventually run out of mutants… and then start turning on humans who could give birth to mutants, and then it’s Skynet all over again.
Another running meme in the Marvel Universe is that the X-Men usually exist in a Schrodinger’s cat situation with the rest of the superhero universe, both coexisting and in their own worlds. Yes, mutants have served on the Avengers, and yes, Thor intervened when the Morlocks were nearly wiped out in the sewers under New York. But Captain America, for all his proud statements of living up to America’s ideals, has a habit of missing the plot whenever the US government (or Canada, seat of all the Marvel Universe’s governmental evils - no, really) decides it’s Genocide O’Clock. And when the mutant nation of Genosha was completely wiped out by said murder robots, the Avengers seemed to be all “New phone who dis?” But when the two do intersect, there’s usually support for the mutants. One story in Fantastic Four had Reed Richards - Mr. Fantastic, stretchy man, greatest genius in the Marvel Universe, guy who’s probably being cucked by a fish-man - get tapped by the US government to make a device that detects mutants and other people with powers. He does… and then uses it to show why the government probably doesn’t want it, as it pings several members of Congress as having just enough genetic variation to qualify as “mutants,” even if they don’t have powers.
All in all, while the argument has some merit, for years, Marvel has come down on the position that asking people with powers to reveal their identities to the federal government is something that could go really bad if somebody with a hate-on for superheroes ends up in power. Something that would never happen oh yeah it totally did. But before it all went to Hell, Civil War at least gave an opportunity to reexamine the concept and see if it had merit.
It might have. But not with this argument.
Part 1.75: What Else Has Happened Before?
And now, some things that will ultimately give context for what happens next:

• In the pages of Thor, all of Asgard eventually runs headlong into Ragnarok. Thor and the rest of the Asgardians give their lives to save the earth, taking Thor off the board… for now.
• As mentioned above, the Avengers experience a critical fault due to Wanda going batshit (a common lament). With Avengers Mansion destroyed and the team at odds, it is eventually reunited under Tony Stark, who put the Avengers up in a tower he built.
• Nick Fury has vanished due to doing some skullduggery in the pages of the miniseries Secret War (no, not Secret Wars, this is different). Acting head of SHIELD, the all-purpose super spy squad of Marvel, is Maria Hill, who can’t seem to draw her pistol without shooting herself in the foot.
• Due to Wanda continuing to go batshit, the House of M crossover event ends with her casting a spell: “No more mutants.” While the damage is staunched, Earth-616’s population of mutants (which was recently established to be somewhere around 16 million) is reduced to 200, the rest being depowered or dying as a result of being depowered. This was because, as Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada said, the idea of mutants being everywhere made them “boring.” The fact that mutants were starting to be written less as a minority stand-in and more as an actual minority group with fashion, culture, music, and neighborhoods might have had something to do with that. From the wake of this event emerges Sally Floyd, a journalist whose own mutant daughter died before the mass depowering due to having a power that was more curse than blessing. The series Generation M follows her as the viewpoint character as she investigates the stories of former mutants.

Part 2: Connecticut Can’t Catch a Break
The big kick-off for Civil War involves the New Warriors, a team of teen heroes who have, as of a recently canceled series, been trying to make it big as reality TV stars. They get in a fight with a bunch of villains in the small town of Stamford, CT, when exploding villain Nitro goes positively nuclear, resulting in a blast much bigger than any he’s generated. [1] Not only does this mostly wipe out the New Warriors (save for kinetic energy-absorbing goofball Speedball), but it also happens to hit a nearby school. In the end, 612 people are dead, many of them children, and the nation wants answers.
With public opinion turning against the New Warriors, former member Hindsight starts leaking secret identities to get the heat off his back. This only makes things worse. Secret identities have only recently stopped being a thing for some heroes: Captain America only came out a few years ago, it was only recently that Tony Stark stopped pretending Iron Man was his bodyguard, and Daredevil was almost outed in the pages of his book. But something needs to be done, so Tony helps work with Congress to pass the Super Human Registration Act, which requires that all people with powers or working as vigilantes register their identities with the government to receive training and oversight. If you don’t? Believe it or not, jail, right away.
Fault lines quickly develop in the superhero community. While Tony is leading the “pro” side, alongside Reed Richards (yeah, we’ll get to that), Captain America, usually painted as the embodiment of the dream of America despite its compromised history and many sins, is against it. He’s lived through Richard Nixon being a secret fascist and shooting himself in the head after being fingered as mastermind of a vast criminal conspiracy (yes, that happened ); he knows how badly this could go in the wrong hands. Needless to say, Maria Hill and SHIELD hear his concerns, understand his problems with it, and are willing to iron out the kinks through reasoned debate.
Just kidding. Before the law has even been signed, Maria sics SHIELD’s elite Cape-Killers squad on Cap with the intent of getting him behind bars. Cap swiftly goes underground and starts his own group of anti-registration superheroes.
The fight continues for the next few issues. Spider-Man, caught in the middle, reveals himself to be Peter Parker at a press conference, declaring his support for the SHRA. Doctor Strange is so powerful that he tells the government to fuck off, and somehow, Maria Hill doesn’t decide to go charging up his asshole. Ben Grimm, the ever-loving blue-eyed Thing, is so sick of all the conflict he goes to France. But things are still at a stalemate, and while SHIELD may be acting like a bunch of merry assholes, it seems like there’s a debate to be had that could still be resolved reasonably… except for one key factor.
Part 3: I Fought the Law, and the Law… Huh?
No one ever really defined what the Super Human Registration Act, the legislation that tore the Marvel Universe’s superhero community asunder, did. Every book that had an issue that touched on the event seemed to have a different understanding of its principles, as well as just how fascist it might be in the long run. In the pages of She-Hulk, attorney Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk argues the law is a net good, as it gives heroes the backing and resources they need to not have to go it alone, while also having some measure of government oversight. In the pages of Civil War Frontline (oh, and we’ll get back to Civil War Frontline, don’t you worry), Wonder Man is told by the government that he needs to do a job for them, and if he refuses, well, one thousand years dungeon.
Which then leads into the other issue behind the SHRA. Namely, that everyone in favor was either starting to swing towards fascism or embracing bootlicking as a lifestyle, not a kink. In the pages of Amazing Spider-Man, Peter asks Reed Richards, who has always bucked authority and once stopped the US government from doing something just like this with mutants, why he’s pro-registration. Reed then reveals that an uncle who has never been mentioned before was called before HUAC; he refused to name names, his career was ruined, and he killed himself. From this, Reed - the man who stole a rocketship because the government said “no” to his planned space voyage - has learned that the government is always right, especially when they could step on your neck (this was received so badly that a later comic revealed he’d actually borrowed the concept of psychohistory from Asimov’s Foundation, he’d made it work somehow, and his calculations showed that this was the only way to avoid a greater disaster). This comic also revealed that people who were in violation of the SHRA were sent to a literal extradimensional Gitmo, a prison in the Negative Zone that later comics would reveal was overseen by… Captain Marvel. No, not that one. No, not that one. The Kree superhero Captain Mar-Vell, who had famously died of cancer decades before. How did he come back from the dead? Fuck if we know.
This “the law says what you want it to say” approach spread across various books and miniseries meant to cross over into the event. In the pages of a crossover mini between the Runaways and the Young Avengers, this meant SHIELD Cape-Killer squads were using lethal force against teenagers. The second-to-last issue of the mini ends with several members of both teams in extradimensional Gitmo, about to be dissected by a guy who’s horny for torture. The fact that all the captive heroes were the queer members of both teams? Total coincidence. Honestly.
So, it quickly becomes clear that the editorial control on this event is less than cohesive. There are different ideas all over as to what the SHRA does, and some of those ideas are tacking pretty fashy. But if the law is being painted as that bad, then clearly, there must be some greater statement of freedom vs. security. Maybe Millar’s really painting a subversive picture of what happens when you trade liberty for control, right?
Part 4: Why Do You Hate the Good Thing?
After the publication of Civil War #3, Millar would say in an interview he was actually pro-registration. I can’t find that interview, but here’s a similar sentiment shared years later:

“Weirdly, some of the other writers would often make Tony the bad guy, which I thought was a strange choice because I was actually on Tony’s side... In the real world, if somebody had superpowers, I’d like them to be registered in the same way that somebody who has a gun has to carry a license. But a gun can kill several people while a superhero can kill several thousands of people, so on a pragmatic level I’m 100% on Tony’s side. Maybe on a romantic level, Cap’s position makes sense but I don’t think anybody in the real world would really want that."”

And again, here’s the thing: He’s not entirely wrong. As said above, the idea of civil liberties for all and “free to me you and me” falls down a little when one of your neighbors can blow up a city block by thinking real hard. But Millar is fighting against years of ideological inertia in the Marvel Universe, as well as painting Captain America, the guy who has always embodied the ideal of a righteous, just America, as in the wrong. He needs to make one hell of an argument.
So here’s what happens in the pages of Civil War #3 to sell the audience on the SHRA:

• Thor comes back from the dead… and he’s on Tony’s side! Well, not really. Tony and Reed both realized that having one of the most beloved gods of the Marvel Universe come out on their side would be a big win… if only he wasn’t dead. So, they cloned him. Or rather, they T-800’d him, putting cloned divine flesh on a robot skeleton. But I’m sure he’s perfectly under control, and - oh, he just killed Goliath. In the next issue, one of Marvel’s black male heroes, frozen at the size of a small townhouse in death, will be buried in a gigantic ditch, wrapped in a tarp and chains. You’d think Hank Pym could grow a large enough coffin, at least.
• With Cap and the anti-registration side escaping once again, Tony decides he needs a dedicated team that can track down fugitive superhumans. To do so, he creates a new version of the Thunderbolts, a concept long associated with “villains acting like heroes.” And who does he put on this team? Venom, the Spider-Man villain who eats people’s brains; Bullseye, the Daredevil villain who will kill anyone for the lulz; and Norman Osborn, a.k.a. The Green Goblin, who famously murdered Spider-Man’s girlfriend Gwen Stacy.

Again. Tony’s in the right. The SHRA is good.
Part 5: Yadda, Yadda, Yadda
The next few issues of Civil War might best be described as “They fight, and fight, and fight and fight and fight.” The anti-registration side picks up The Punisher, Marvel’s most avowed murderer of criminals - and Cap is somewhat shocked but not entirely surprised when two minor villains join the anti-registration side and Frank promptly kills them on sight. Spider-Man starts realizing things are weird on the pro-reg side and defects, after he has set his entire life on fire. The X-Men have continued to stay out of this whole mess. In the lead-up, Emma Frost called Tony out on the Avengers’ complete absence when Genosha got nuked. Later, Carol Danvers (then Ms. Marvel, now Captain Marvel) will show up at the Xavier School to pitch the SHRA just after a massive terrorist attack kills dozens of students. Emma responds by telepathically dogwalking her.
By the final issue of the miniseries, the SHRA has expanded out into the Fifty States Initiative, wherein each state gets its own superteam. There’s a big final battle, Hercules kills Robo-Thor, and Cap nearly takes out Tony, only to be stopped by… the heroes of 9/11. No shit, Captain America is subdued by cops, firefighters, and paramedics. And when that happens, Cap finally takes a look around, realizes their big ideological street brawl has resulted in collateral damage, and surrenders. The SHRA wins, though Tony feels a little bad about it. Cap is ready to stand trial and to argue that, while he may have done something wrong, he did it for the right reasons.
Once again: Yeah. About that.
Part 6: MySpace Tom Didn’t Die For This
Running alongside Civil War is Civil War Frontline, a street-level book written by Paul Jenkins that managed to capture this world-breaking conflict through the eyes of people on the street. Though it has side stories, its main leads are Ben Urich, Peter Parker’s journalist buddy at The Daily Bugle, and the aforementioned Sally Floyd. Throughout the series, they start to realize there’s a story underneath the SHRA, as if somebody is playing the angles.
Before we talk about that conclusion, let’s talk about a side story. Remember how we said part of the comics community saw Identity Crisis as a driven effort to make things less “wacky” and intentionally darken the DCU? Well, that same tonal approach led to one of the more laughable moments of a pretty laughable arc. See, despite the fact that, as established, it was Nitro who blew up Stamford, it’s Speedball, the only survivor of the New Warriors, that views himself as responsible and is held up as a scapegoat by the general public. In addition, the blast screwed up his powers. Now, he doesn’t absorb and reflect kinetic energy; rather, he generates energy based on pain. So, he builds himself a new, extreme outfit lined with 612 spikes, one for each person who died in Stamford. This will drive his crusade to make things right - not as Speedball… but as Penance.
It was so laughably DeviantArt “OC do not steal” that no one could take it seriously. Look what you did, you took a perfectly good goofball and gave him an emo streak. The turn is swiftly mocked in other Marvel books, and it’s eventually revealed that Speedball still had his original powerset and always intended to put Nitro in the Goofy Suit of Dark Inner Torment as punishment for his crimes. But this turn gives you a sense of the tone and heft Jenkins was bringing to the proceedings.
Anyway, back to the main plot. Ben and Sally follow the thread as Namor, as he is wont to do, declares war on the surface world after an Atlantean diplomat is shot. But it turns out the assassination was arranged by Norman Osborn, who decided it was better to beg forgiveness than ask permission and manipulated Atlantis into war so that Tony could have another piece of evidence for getting superhumans on a leash. And the two journalists deduce that, on some level, Tony had to know this would be an inevitable outcome of giving state backing to an unhinged mogul who dresses like a Power Rangers villain. Weighing what to do with this information, Ben and Sally, who are kind of sick of the collateral damage by this point, sit on it while they go in for an interview with Captain America, now in custody and willing to tell his side of the story.
And then. And then. The monologue. If you want a lesson in how to assassinate a character in 30 seconds or less, this monologue is a great example. Sally Floyd calls Captain America out as completely divorced from American values. Now, again, Captain America has long served as the beating liberal heart of the Marvel Universe. He has always represented an America that reckons with its legacy of things like internment camps, Manifest Destiny, and Jim Crow, in order to transcend these scars and embody the promise offered by Emma Lazarus’s New Colossus, carved on the side of the Statue of Liberty. Why is he out of touch with Americans at the dawn of the 21st century?
Well, he’s never heard of MySpace. [2] He doesn’t watch NASCAR. He doesn’t follow American Idol. There are pop culture moments that have aged like milk; this one had all the permanence of an ice cream cone in a blast furnace. But despite the inanity of Floyd’s argument - and trust me, there are fan edits dedicated to Cap pointing out how full of shit this argument is - it’s clear it represents something else. This is a post-9/11 world. Fuck civil liberties, we have a no-fly list and Gitmo, and if the American people really cared, they’d do something other than watch Simon Cowell read aspiring singers to filth. What does Captain America stand for in this moment of crisis?
Nothing. Because he just looks away from Sally Floyd. No doubt thinking, “Oh my God this bitch.” But to underline the argument in question, Sally storms out of the interview, Ben in tow. She still has that information on Norman Osborn’s false flag operation… and while she and Ben confront Tony on everything that went down, they decide the story should never see the light of day. Because they wouldn’t dare jeopardize the SHRA, because security is more important than the truth.
Oh. And then Cap gets shot. And dies. He totally dies (except he doesn’t but we’ll get to that). If ever there was an unintentional thesis statement for this event, running in the late stages of the Bush era, it would be this: “It’s better to trust that the powers that be who oversee the new America will keep you safe, even when they stage false flag operations, stick you in a gulag, and put their trust in monsters. All that civil liberty stuff was the old America. And the old America was hopeless. It wasn’t even on MySpace.”
Epilogue: Consequences Keep Consequencing
As you can tell from that last paragraph, a lot of the fan reception to Civil War likely had a lot to do with the period. This was the Bush era, a time where you were for America or against it. We were in the shadow of the Patriot Act, Gitmo, and widespread wiretaps, paranoid about what civil liberty we’d be asked to put on the pyre next in the name of Freedom. A story all about the warm, clenching fist of government control that tells you to ignore the collateral damage… well, it wasn’t great for the cultural moment.
The ideas of Civil War aren’t necessarily bad ones. I frame Cap as the liberal dream of what America could be, but there are good arguments to be made that America has never been that and Cap is just copium for liberals. His most recent title, Sentinel of Liberty, opens with Steve saying he is out of touch with the average American - not because he doesn’t watch NASCAR, but because he’s a WWII veteran who looks maybe 30 years old at most and whose best friends are all superheroes or spies. A narrative that has him on the wrong side of the issue and detonates his beliefs isn’t impossible, but it probably shouldn’t be one where people who got powers due to a fluke of birth or a radiation accident are told by the government, “Join with us or we’ll send supervillains after you.” Hell, as the Civil War movie proves, there is a way to tell a story about a superhero community torn in half by the idea of mandatory registration as government-controlled actors, and just why people would think that could be a bad idea (“Hey, remember when a good chunk of our intelligence apparatus turned out to be Nazi stay behinds?”).
But in the context of the era, and coupled with the execution, Civil War felt like a hard sell, and you could feel the thumb pressing on the scale every second while reading it. The moral center of the Marvel Universe is wrong, the winning side employs sadistic murderers and has an extradimensional Gitmo, and the writer is telling you that any sane individual would be on Team Green Goblin Employer.
So how did that all work out? Well…

• With Cap seemingly dead, shot by his brainwashed love interest Sharon Carter as part of a plot by the Red Skull, Bucky Barnes/the Winter Soldier becomes the new Cap. Only it turns out Steve wasn’t killed, but shot with a time bullet that Billy Pilgrims his ass. He eventually comes back.
• Thor comes back, finds out what Tony did, and beats his ass all the way across post-Katrina New Orleans (thank you to Powman_7 for the link).
• The Secret Invasion event happens next, which leads to Skrull infiltrators hitting everything (this is also the explanation for Captain Mar-Vell’s miraculous resurrection: He was a Skrull all along). With Tony caught with his pants down and Norman Osborn seeming to save the day, Norman - who has been losing his shit for some time - takes over the Initiative and forms his own fascist cabal, HAMMER. To try and stop Norman from learning everything on every hero ever, Tony goes on the run and actually starts deleting his own brain, which he then reassembles with a backup from before anyone even thought of the SHRA. The fact that getting rid of Tony’s “Oops I did a fascism” period came out alongside Iron Man hitting theaters is a coincidence, I’m sure.

As for Spider-Man? It might not shock you, but having a hero without the resources of Tony Stark out himself to the world carries liabilities. An assassin who tries to kill Peter instead hits Aunt May, and it appears she’ll die of her injuries. All this leads to One More Day… and if you thought the fans hated Civil War? Oh, BABY.
[1] This is eventually explored in the pages of Wolverine, of all books, as Wolverine decides maybe somebody should track down the person who actually killed hundreds of children. It’s revealed that Nitro was given power-boosting drugs by the CEO of Damage Control, Marvel’s designated “clean up after the super-battle” corporation, as a way of generating business. In a sign of how little this matters, Wolverine tells Maria Hill to her face that the person responsible for a mass casualty event is the pawn of a powerful conspiracy, and she basically says, “Not my problem.” Cobie Smulders must thank the gods that her Maria Hill is written as somebody with basic human decency.
[2] Hilariously, when Sally Floyd was brought back during Nick Spencer’s Captain America run because no one had piled enough dung on her corpse, this line was retconned to her asking him about Twitter. Given everything Elon’s been doing lately, we’ll see if that ages just as poorly.