Mars hydro full spectrum grow light
Mars Hydro Growers
2019.09.18 11:53 growupyo Mars Hydro Growers
Mars Hydro growers community. Discuss indoor growing experience. Happy growing with Mars Hydro!
2016.08.23 08:22 swimming-turtle Mars-Hydro LED grow light fan club
I found that many people here are using Mars-Hydro light,let's have fun here
2014.11.20 04:17 SconG SconG: A personal grow journal
This is a grow journal made by SconG. I'll post updates of my plants, try to keep it up to date.
2023.05.30 08:36 BryggerHeise Numerological day analysis of 30-5–2023 15/6 Balance, Cross-Fertilization/ 6 Power; Male Drive; Yang; Life force; Sexuality
 | Inspired by Revolution you want to create Balance and Cross-Fertilization in your Life, resulting in feeling the Life Force and Power in you and around you. submitted by BryggerHeise to NumerologyPentagram [link] [comments] 30-5–2023 15/6 Balance, Cross-Fertilization/ 6 Power; Male Drive; Yang; Life force; Sexuality Spirit: 30 Revolution; Creative Will Soul: 5 Expansion; Fullness; Inner Motivation; Adventure; Freedom; Order Body: 23 Unconditional Love or ‘Cry for Love’? The sum total of today is 15: Balance and Cross-Fertilization resulting in power and life energy. You want to experience balance and cross-fertilization through your spirit’s revolution; your soul’s expansion and your physical ability to express Unconditional Love. Today's pentagram Themes Three major themes underline this process: ‘ Expansion of Self-Awareness’, ‘Relationships’ and ‘Change-Transformation’ . All the axis in the “16” Pentagram are driven by their own theme. It is about truly ‘Mastering’ those themes. Blue 2- Red 2: Axis of the Expansion of Self-Awareness: 2(7)-(7)2 The expansion of self-awareness drives the expansion of self-awareness. Either you dive very deep into finding the answer to the quintessential question of WHO AM I? or you lock yourself up in the physical and material world. The two opposing principles are ‘Spiritual Insight’ coming from the spiritual level to join with the ‘Golden Mean’, the ‘Divine Ratio’ coming from the physical level. 27: ’Spiritual Insight’ gives a strong confrontation between the Actual Life and the Illusionary Realm. The Soul wants to grow and develop. When it is obstructed by attachment to the Physical Realm and Mind, and the Soul is not allowed to grow, it will start to “cry”. Then the axis of the Expansion of Self-Consciousness turns into the Psychosomatic axis – meaning learning through (bodily) pain. 72: On the physical level we try to create the Divine Ratio or Golden Mean. This particular ratio that we see all around us in nature and when applied to buildings, music and art gives us this harmonious feeling. If we do not allow ourselves to follow our Intuition to give us the Self-Awareness but we start to doubt, then we break down our Self-Awareness and create exactly the psycho-somatic reaction mentioned earlier. The balance of these two principles lies in finding your Inner Gold. ’Inner Gold’ is the wisdom that appears once you conquer the ‘Cold Intelligence’. It feels like gold, it looks like gold. Blue 33 - Red 33 : Axis of Relationships: 3(8)-(8)3 The axis of relationships drives the axis of relationships. Either you master the way you relate to others and how you define your relationships or you may have no real relationships at all. The two opposing principles are Encounter with others, Relationships coming from the mental level to join with the Messiah factor; Conquering the Darkness, coming from the emotional level. Mentally you want to connect with others and form relationships, emotionally you need to find your inner Love by going through your Darkness to see the light of a new day. 38: Encounter with others, Relationships ‘Encounter with others’ is the 3-8 axis in the Pentagram, dealing with how you relate to others. It requires a willingness to mingle and interact with others and refrain from avoiding others or withdrawing from others. On the feminine side lies the wish for Harmony, in the masculine side the desire for change through decisions. This will bring emotional unrest, unless you master it. You cannot fight the waves (of emotion) but you can learn however how to ride them. 83: Messiah Factor, Conquering the Darkness Jesus as the Messiah brought the new message of Love into the world. In order to understand this message and to live it oneself, the child has to be born in every person – as a symbol for something new. This has to be done by entering your own Darkness and emerging ‘reborn’ (The archetypal journey of the hero). The balance of these two principles lies in their sum: Mastery of mastery. A key to understanding mastery is to reflect on what makes a Journeyman a Master. The journeyman has learned all the necessary -physical, emotional and mental- skills that a Master has. In order to become a Master however, he has to put in something ‘unique’ into his work, something ‘divine’. To access this ‘uniqueness’ more of the times, he has to make the journey of the Hero. Blue 50 - Red 05 : Axis of Change and Transformation: 50-105 The axis of change and transformation is driven by the axis of change and transformation. Guess what is going to happen? Transformation whether you like it or not. With that being the case it might be wiser to drive your change yourself than to wait and let it happen to you. The challenge here is to be the change you want to see. The two opposing principles are ‘Review of Life’s orientation’ coming from the physical level to join with ‘Final Transformation’ coming from the spiritual level. 50: Review of Life’s orientation. From the age of 50 onwards it is time for an essential change in the attitude towards life: Things that used to be important, become less important and new things enter life. The creative chaos constantly disrupts the own inner order. It is a true test of life, as from 50 onwards an obligation to change occurs, an obligation to develop yourself from a pure materialistic way of thinking into a more spiritually aware person. 105: Final Transformation. In the final transformation it is imperative to understand that the “Order influences the Chaos”. It is where you take the conscious decision to use your free will, whilst accepting whatever consequences that may bring. So physically you start to question yourself: what is life all about? Is it about my material, emotional or mental wellbeing or is there even more? Where does inspiration, ideas, intuition come from? What does chaos have to do with it? Spiritually you become totally aware of the paradigm that chaos creates order and that there is order in chaos. A ‘mind-blowing’ idea. The balance of the two principles lies in expanding the ‘Divine Guidance’ – ‘God’s fulfilling power’- with Perfection at its core.. A good definition of Transformation when you think of the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly. Levels of awareness You are being supported by high spiritual and high physical awareness (thank God!) Your spiritual awareness is obtained through Spiritual Insight/ Expansion of Self Awareness and Final Transformation. Its goal is to master perfection, to infuse you with powerful mysticism and to let you manifest the renewal of Spirit. It also induces a strong intuitive masculine (sexual) life-energy. Your physical awareness is obtained through the Review of Life’s orientation and the Golden mean. Its goal is to have you intuitively create physical transformation, with deep healing at its core. Quadrant The spiritual and the physical level in this Pentagram are connected through the axis of Expansion of Self-awareness and the axis of Change-Transformation. It calls you to integrate these two levels of awareness. Its theme is that of the legend of Saint-Germain. Very fascinating. Note: If your birthday is today, the topics described above are your topics for 2023. Should a baby be born on this day, then today’s themes are the baby’s life-themes. See you (virtually) : (D) Arbeitskreis: 23. Juni Hybride Düsseldorf For a full explanation of the numbers and how to read the Pentagram have a look at my website: www.pentalogie.com |
2023.05.30 08:35 BryggerHeise Numerological day analysis of 30-5–2023 15/6 Balance, Cross-Fertilization/ 6 Power; Male Drive; Yang; Life force; Sexuality
 | Inspired by Revolution you want to create Balance and Cross-Fertilization in your Life, resulting in feeling the Life Force and Power in you and around you. submitted by BryggerHeise to numerology [link] [comments] 30-5–2023 15/6 Balance, Cross-Fertilization/ 6 Power; Male Drive; Yang; Life force; Sexuality Spirit: 30 Revolution; Creative Will Soul: 5 Expansion; Fullness; Inner Motivation; Adventure; Freedom; Order Body: 23 Unconditional Love or ‘Cry for Love’? The sum total of today is 15: Balance and Cross-Fertilization resulting in power and life energy. You want to experience balance and cross-fertilization through your spirit’s revolution; your soul’s expansion and your physical ability to express Unconditional Love. Today's pentagram Themes Three major themes underline this process: ‘ Expansion of Self-Awareness’, ‘Relationships’ and ‘Change-Transformation’ . All the axis in the “16” Pentagram are driven by their own theme. It is about truly ‘Mastering’ those themes. Blue 2- Red 2: Axis of the Expansion of Self-Awareness: 2(7)-(7)2 The expansion of self-awareness drives the expansion of self-awareness. Either you dive very deep into finding the answer to the quintessential question of WHO AM I? or you lock yourself up in the physical and material world. The two opposing principles are ‘Spiritual Insight’ coming from the spiritual level to join with the ‘Golden Mean’, the ‘Divine Ratio’ coming from the physical level. 27: ’Spiritual Insight’ gives a strong confrontation between the Actual Life and the Illusionary Realm. The Soul wants to grow and develop. When it is obstructed by attachment to the Physical Realm and Mind, and the Soul is not allowed to grow, it will start to “cry”. Then the axis of the Expansion of Self-Consciousness turns into the Psychosomatic axis – meaning learning through (bodily) pain. 72: On the physical level we try to create the Divine Ratio or Golden Mean. This particular ratio that we see all around us in nature and when applied to buildings, music and art gives us this harmonious feeling. If we do not allow ourselves to follow our Intuition to give us the Self-Awareness but we start to doubt, then we break down our Self-Awareness and create exactly the psycho-somatic reaction mentioned earlier. The balance of these two principles lies in finding your Inner Gold. ’Inner Gold’ is the wisdom that appears once you conquer the ‘Cold Intelligence’. It feels like gold, it looks like gold. Blue 33 - Red 33 : Axis of Relationships: 3(8)-(8)3 The axis of relationships drives the axis of relationships. Either you master the way you relate to others and how you define your relationships or you may have no real relationships at all. The two opposing principles are Encounter with others, Relationships coming from the mental level to join with the Messiah factor; Conquering the Darkness, coming from the emotional level. Mentally you want to connect with others and form relationships, emotionally you need to find your inner Love by going through your Darkness to see the light of a new day. 38: Encounter with others, Relationships ‘Encounter with others’ is the 3-8 axis in the Pentagram, dealing with how you relate to others. It requires a willingness to mingle and interact with others and refrain from avoiding others or withdrawing from others. On the feminine side lies the wish for Harmony, in the masculine side the desire for change through decisions. This will bring emotional unrest, unless you master it. You cannot fight the waves (of emotion) but you can learn however how to ride them. 83: Messiah Factor, Conquering the Darkness Jesus as the Messiah brought the new message of Love into the world. In order to understand this message and to live it oneself, the child has to be born in every person – as a symbol for something new. This has to be done by entering your own Darkness and emerging ‘reborn’ (The archetypal journey of the hero). The balance of these two principles lies in their sum: Mastery of mastery. A key to understanding mastery is to reflect on what makes a Journeyman a Master. The journeyman has learned all the necessary -physical, emotional and mental- skills that a Master has. In order to become a Master however, he has to put in something ‘unique’ into his work, something ‘divine’. To access this ‘uniqueness’ more of the times, he has to make the journey of the Hero. Blue 50 - Red 05 : Axis of Change and Transformation: 50-105 The axis of change and transformation is driven by the axis of change and transformation. Guess what is going to happen? Transformation whether you like it or not. With that being the case it might be wiser to drive your change yourself than to wait and let it happen to you. The challenge here is to be the change you want to see. The two opposing principles are ‘Review of Life’s orientation’ coming from the physical level to join with ‘Final Transformation’ coming from the spiritual level. 50: Review of Life’s orientation. From the age of 50 onwards it is time for an essential change in the attitude towards life: Things that used to be important, become less important and new things enter life. The creative chaos constantly disrupts the own inner order. It is a true test of life, as from 50 onwards an obligation to change occurs, an obligation to develop yourself from a pure materialistic way of thinking into a more spiritually aware person. 105: Final Transformation. In the final transformation it is imperative to understand that the “Order influences the Chaos”. It is where you take the conscious decision to use your free will, whilst accepting whatever consequences that may bring. So physically you start to question yourself: what is life all about? Is it about my material, emotional or mental wellbeing or is there even more? Where does inspiration, ideas, intuition come from? What does chaos have to do with it? Spiritually you become totally aware of the paradigm that chaos creates order and that there is order in chaos. A ‘mind-blowing’ idea. The balance of the two principles lies in expanding the ‘Divine Guidance’ – ‘God’s fulfilling power’- with Perfection at its core.. A good definition of Transformation when you think of the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly. Levels of awareness You are being supported by high spiritual and high physical awareness (thank God!) Your spiritual awareness is obtained through Spiritual Insight/ Expansion of Self Awareness and Final Transformation. Its goal is to master perfection, to infuse you with powerful mysticism and to let you manifest the renewal of Spirit. It also induces a strong intuitive masculine (sexual) life-energy. Your physical awareness is obtained through the Review of Life’s orientation and the Golden mean. Its goal is to have you intuitively create physical transformation, with deep healing at its core. Quadrant The spiritual and the physical level in this Pentagram are connected through the axis of Expansion of Self-awareness and the axis of Change-Transformation. It calls you to integrate these two levels of awareness. Its theme is that of the legend of Saint-Germain. Very fascinating. Note: If your birthday is today, the topics described above are your topics for 2023. Should a baby be born on this day, then today’s themes are the baby’s life-themes. See you (virtually) : (D) Arbeitskreis: 23. Juni Hybride Düsseldorf For a full explanation of the numbers and how to read the Pentagram have a look at my website: www.pentalogie.com |
2023.05.30 08:20 NughtDread First time grower
Hey guys, I've been trying to grow bud for the first time because I was highly adviced against consuming hash alongside my ADHD meds. My spendings for the grow are currently around 80€ for soil,seeds two really bad lights which I now intend to swap, nutrients, watering system, trimmers and extensions etc. I got an offer to buy an mars hydro tls2000 with little use (6 months at 50% and 1 at 100%) with it's adjacent tent for 200€. I would still need a carbon filter and a cheap USB fan but it looks like everything would cost around 300/350. Is that too much for someone who's trying their first time around auto flowers or would this equipment sustain it's value if taken proper care of/ is this a worthy investment for a potential long term setup, note I'm moving somewhere next year so there can't be any live material. Thanks guys in advance
submitted by NughtDread to GrowingMarijuana [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:04 LindertechProductsYT A List of a ton of characters I've created + Descriptions, differences & more (names may be similar but aren't referring to that)
[The Thing] this character is a voidling from the dimension of AA226.55 within the realm of Voidfriuss, The Thing is a creature from that void in which everything is as dark and non-refracting of light as possible, thus the character takes on shade colors from black to white and all the grays/greys in-between, he's very powerful and is a supreme being technically and can take any color from the light spectrum and use it to his will, he's currently the reddit picture for my reddit, he is holding his favorite tool, The Colomngiver... his tool can make anything go to his wishes once it has been striked, this doesn't work on organisms and only fluids or materials, anything that's alive or is remotely living in any sense will drain the tool's energy.
[The Nothing] this being is the absence of most things and only wishes to consume, it's a mass of eyeballs attached to blackened goo, kind of like a symbiote, except it doesn't take a form by person, it takes a form and grows, once something's inside, it'll be consumed and added to the mass, wether alive or not...
[The Nothingness] this being is not in the same plane as The Nothing, this being is a pure white void world which houses multiple types of bots, it even has an entire ecosystem in it, this being starts eating worlds wither when something zaps it in, or if the world is forgotten about for too long... it'll send its troops down to investigate the world... wonder why they stopped making Alchobots... they were everywhere back then in the beginning... now the alchobots seem to have gone missing, they had a bartender and a couple of fighters... if anymore vanish from the world, hopefully they can be found in that other odd world...
[The Ancient Ones] not much is known about them, other than the fact that they were supreme beings and have been locked away, maybe the symbols from a certain world will bring them back to return to thier duties and maybe some day, not have to go to that world again, they are protectors and are more powerful than any colossal that ever lived...
[The Colossi] There's a ton of colossi that existed in the land, but they've been split up across the land, waiting to be awoken once more, one in the cold icy peaks, another in the nether, one in the end wearing the island, but most of all... one in the earth, waiting to be dug up... there may be a sky one but that's only eluded to because of how it'd have to be composed... maybe it got split up into multiple pieces... that wouldn't be good, these colossi roamed around the land when it was still 1 layer thick... they make up most of the terrain and colossi still roam across the land, waiting to be found... these ones are smaller and walk on the land which is made up from the older colossi, not much else is known about them... other than thier location and some history of thier existence.
[Juird the Signwalker] once a measly old sign, willing the hopes of always having a purpose... but when he lost the only purpose he knew, he started using darker magic with no knowledge of it except that it was powerful, he then grew 2 horns at the end with an orb being held by one... he has immense powers and can fly, know the story of the world and can push other realities into existence... this isn't all he can do though, he will find The Something and free himself and the world from its existence...
[The Narrator] a mysterious figure who somehow is writing the story as it goes on, he is fully aware of the world and knows what could happen in the future... he will not spoil it though as he has more important things to do, like writing Chapter 660 of his soon to be famous novel of how one dude saved the entire world on his own, despite many clones he made... he created a new centerpoint and stuff... wonder what this story eludes to... but it has someone known as "The Hero"? ah well... guess it has to wait 'til he's done with chapter 660 of this, I think he only has 2,568 more chapters to go as he writes everything down...
[The Something] a cosmic draconic being in which knows all, it is the embodiment of something existing and how it originates from different things, juird's looking for this for some odd reason, not sure why he wants to find this highly destructive being who's left the ancient ones alone for some time, she'll never go to him though, he's too crazy and out-of-his-mind to let him find her...
[The Everything] a being opposite to The Nothing in which can create anything with limitless power and would rather split the form it has until it can't no more, just to create more lifeforms and whatnot, a not-so-perfect balance and a cup of something will do. just a touch here and a touch there, this something is tasty! "but I want to taste the essence of existence..." as I once said looking at this being who looks like an amalgamation of every biblically accurate angels...
That's all for now, see you in the next post, hope you have a wonderful day!
submitted by LindertechProductsYT to LindertechProductions [link] [comments]
[The Nothing] this being is the absence of most things and only wishes to consume, it's a mass of eyeballs attached to blackened goo, kind of like a symbiote, except it doesn't take a form by person, it takes a form and grows, once something's inside, it'll be consumed and added to the mass, wether alive or not...
[The Nothingness] this being is not in the same plane as The Nothing, this being is a pure white void world which houses multiple types of bots, it even has an entire ecosystem in it, this being starts eating worlds wither when something zaps it in, or if the world is forgotten about for too long... it'll send its troops down to investigate the world... wonder why they stopped making Alchobots... they were everywhere back then in the beginning... now the alchobots seem to have gone missing, they had a bartender and a couple of fighters... if anymore vanish from the world, hopefully they can be found in that other odd world...
[The Ancient Ones] not much is known about them, other than the fact that they were supreme beings and have been locked away, maybe the symbols from a certain world will bring them back to return to thier duties and maybe some day, not have to go to that world again, they are protectors and are more powerful than any colossal that ever lived...
[The Colossi] There's a ton of colossi that existed in the land, but they've been split up across the land, waiting to be awoken once more, one in the cold icy peaks, another in the nether, one in the end wearing the island, but most of all... one in the earth, waiting to be dug up... there may be a sky one but that's only eluded to because of how it'd have to be composed... maybe it got split up into multiple pieces... that wouldn't be good, these colossi roamed around the land when it was still 1 layer thick... they make up most of the terrain and colossi still roam across the land, waiting to be found... these ones are smaller and walk on the land which is made up from the older colossi, not much else is known about them... other than thier location and some history of thier existence.
[Juird the Signwalker] once a measly old sign, willing the hopes of always having a purpose... but when he lost the only purpose he knew, he started using darker magic with no knowledge of it except that it was powerful, he then grew 2 horns at the end with an orb being held by one... he has immense powers and can fly, know the story of the world and can push other realities into existence... this isn't all he can do though, he will find The Something and free himself and the world from its existence...
[The Narrator] a mysterious figure who somehow is writing the story as it goes on, he is fully aware of the world and knows what could happen in the future... he will not spoil it though as he has more important things to do, like writing Chapter 660 of his soon to be famous novel of how one dude saved the entire world on his own, despite many clones he made... he created a new centerpoint and stuff... wonder what this story eludes to... but it has someone known as "The Hero"? ah well... guess it has to wait 'til he's done with chapter 660 of this, I think he only has 2,568 more chapters to go as he writes everything down...
[The Something] a cosmic draconic being in which knows all, it is the embodiment of something existing and how it originates from different things, juird's looking for this for some odd reason, not sure why he wants to find this highly destructive being who's left the ancient ones alone for some time, she'll never go to him though, he's too crazy and out-of-his-mind to let him find her...
[The Everything] a being opposite to The Nothing in which can create anything with limitless power and would rather split the form it has until it can't no more, just to create more lifeforms and whatnot, a not-so-perfect balance and a cup of something will do. just a touch here and a touch there, this something is tasty! "but I want to taste the essence of existence..." as I once said looking at this being who looks like an amalgamation of every biblically accurate angels...
That's all for now, see you in the next post, hope you have a wonderful day!
2023.05.30 06:16 _Triple_ [STORE] 900+ KNIVES/GLOVES/SKINS, 50.000$+ INVENTORY. M9 Fade, M4 Poseidon, BFK Freehand, Crimson Kimono, Nomad Fade, Skeleton, Kara Lore, Bayo Autotronic, AWP Fade, Kara Damas, BFK Ultra, Kara Freehand, Kara Bright, M9 Damas, Omega, Tiger Strike, Flip MF, Bayo Tiger, Deagle Blaze, Talon & More
Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory
Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.
All Buyouts are listed in cash value.
KNIVES
★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500
★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822
★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616
⎯★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300
★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050
★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629
★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326
★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233
⎯★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110
★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840
★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784
★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759
⎯★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801
★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751
⎯★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156
★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544
★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318
⎯★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646
★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574
★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552
★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257
★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255
★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287
⎯★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461
★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436
★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353
★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212
★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129
★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123
★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375
★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363
★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269
★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192
★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159
★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126
⎯★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616
★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412
★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227
⎯★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214
★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192
★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105
⎯★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216
★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198
★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111
⎯★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368
★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228
★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201
★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108
★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105
★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99
★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85
⎯★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700
★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223
★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203
★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191
★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127
⎯★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199
★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138
★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111
⎯★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146
★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168
⎯★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476
★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375
⎯★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137
★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608
★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305
★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97
GLOVES
★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204
★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves Blood Pressure BS, B/O: $84
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63
⎯★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215
★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305
★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140
★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137
★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75
⎯★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359
★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229
★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77
★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48
⎯★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739
★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733
★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292
⎯★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212
★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160
★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101
⎯★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67
★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59
⎯★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65
★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62
WEAPONS
AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130
AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76
AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70
AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72
⎯AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139
AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93
AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79
AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68
StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55
⎯Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623
Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81
Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54
⎯M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434
StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55
⎯M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465
M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55
M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50
⎯USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72
USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69
StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139
⎯AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234
P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147
Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61
Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory
Some items on the list may no longer be available or are still locked, visit My Inventory for more details.
Send a Trade Offer for fastest response. I consider all offers.
Add me for discuss if there is a serious offer that needs to be discussed.
2023.05.30 05:50 Drakolf Dragon Rising- 4. Counsel:
It was called disassociation, the change in my life had been so traumatic that I just... kind of existed, largely doing things on autopilot, only engaging in things when necessary.
I hadn't wanted to be a Kobold, part of me kept thinking, 'this isn't real, I'm going to wake up any moment now'. But I never woke up to anything but this reality. Rather than tackle this like a normal, sane person, I just withdrew and didn't engage.
"Hello, I'm Ruuk." I said. "I haven't exactly been here the past year and some."
The way everyone welcomed me to the warren, not like a stranger finally being accepted, but as a family member who was gone for far too long- It felt good to just... connect.
While I sequestered myself to my shack on the edge of town, the warren had been organizing, fixing things up, just generally working their asses off to make things as comfortable as possible for people. The result was kind of an anachronistic mess, but it worked. Roads had been turn up and repaved, taking a mess of a car-reliant town and streamlining it so people could actually walk from place to place.
The Artificers had taken cars apart and reused the tools to make a tramway that was convenient for everyone. Why bother with cars when half of us can't even reach the pedals? With the restructuring of the town building by building, done simply because it needed to be done, the surrounding houses could be utilized more efficiently.
The reason why my house was largely untouched was because it was still my house, there was no committee ruling that demanded I give it up. It was understood that I'd know what I wanted to do with it when I was finished being a hermit.
Well, more than a handful of people suggested I just have a full-on mage tower, I realistically didn't need that much space, and even then, the things I wanted to keep were so few that having an entire four-story house to myself with more rooms than I realistically needed.
"Besides, when you get to Level 15, you can create your own demiplane." Tudru, the Fighter, remarked.
The plans for such a hypothetical mage tower put it toward the center of the town, just north of the central tramway. It would be convenient to get to me, and it would be convenient for me to go anywhere.
"Plus, well, we've been wanting you to be the Sorcerer on the Council." Goss, the Sorcerer, remarked.
"The what on the what?" I asked.
The Council, as I understood, was comprised equally of Humans and Kobolds. Kobolds with a set Class were put into a position to discuss the needs of the town. No matter who it was, no matter the Class, there was a representative, even if they were the only one present.
There was no Sorcerer Councilor yet, in spite of us being fairly common.
"Why me?" I asked after being given a significantly less truncated explanation.
"Because you're the most competent one out of all of us, are unbound by preconceived notions of how things work." Goss replied. "I mean, I would have never thought of using Magic Missile on that boulder, or staggering the hits like that so nobody got hurt."
I rubbed the back of my neck. "I mean, anyone could have done it." I said.
"The fact of the matter, Ruuk, is that most of us have assumptions based on a bunch of books in a situation that we still don't really understand. I choose to believe that another world has made contact with ours, and we're the ones burdened with responsibility. That doesn't mean I am correct."
They further broke down expectations.
"I am in charge of infrastructure." Rekka, the Artificer, spoke. The goal was to transform the town into an entirely self-sufficient place. Since we were still technically under quarantine, we couldn't get supplies in or out, not without the government allowing it through. The dissemination of magic items and technology that was essential to our continued existence hinged on understanding where to put it and how to ensure it was used correctly.
Barbarians and Fighters- in spite of Kuvli and Tudru being the only ones- were in charge of town defense.
"We work in tandem to find the best solution to a threat." Tudru said. "While thus far purely theoretical, we have options for if and when monsters show up. Let's not forget the Dire Rat that came out of the mine."
"Dire Rat?" I asked.
"Big fuckers." Kuvli said. "Ever seen a nutria? That fucker you killed was even bigger."
It was understood that if monsters came about, we would need weapons. Artificers took care of that, we had a small cache of magically enhanced swords ready and available, as well as every gun in town somewhere where people could grab and react.
Bards, when we would eventually get one, would be in charge of communications and entertainment. With the quarantine in place and us having no actual income at the moment, short of going out and stealing shit, we were largely on our own with what we already had.
"I am in charge of ensuring the town's spiritual needs are taken care of, and the adjudication of our laws." Galax stated. "Given the high probability of Gods existing, and the likelihood of demons, ghosts, and other beings eventually showing up, This includes discerning which deities are existent, and which ones are not. So far, we've only had minor to moderate luck with divine magic. Prayer is necessary for it to work, as we have to explicitly petition our Gods for it every long rest."
"Aren't you biased toward Bahamut?" I asked.
"Of course." He said. "Any anyone who comes to the Temple is welcome to hear anything I have to say on the matter. The biggest problem is figuring out how it all relates."
Next was Merti. "We Druids are in charge of ensuring this town's sustainability and harmony with nature." She said. "That includes recycling materials, ethical and sustainable logging, hunting, farming... Essentially, as long as it pertains to nature, it's our duty to ensure we don't shoot ourselves in the foot."
"Well, while you're busy speaking for the trees, we're responsible for going out there and making sure nothing is coming to kill us. That and getting meat." Tatla spoke. "We're also in reserve in case of a combat situation, we defer to our Fighter and Barbarian for that."
"When we get a Rogue, they will focus on security. As the closest thing we've got to that, I've got plans set up for establishing a wall around the town, just outside the Anomaly, so that people can't just waltz right in, and to prevent any wild animals or hypothetical monsters from getting in." Nakk the Locksmith who might actually be a Rogue said. "And for the record, I've tried everything I can think of to awaken to a Class, and I'm reasonably certain Rogue isn't one." He paused. "That being said, I am offering lockpicking lessons to anyone who thinks it might help."
"Considering we just share and share alike, I don't think we need to worry about our Rogues." Someone I wasn't familiar with yet said.
The way Nakk reacted to his statement, avoiding his gaze, made me wonder why he reacted that way.
"Nakk, why do you look guilty?" I asked.
He looked at me with wide eyes, and for a tense moment, it seemed like he was about to run. I walked up to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder. "It's better to get it out now, rather than later."
He looked away. "I... I've been overcharging everyone since I moved in." He said. "On top of that, I've used my skills as a locksmith to steal from people."
He expected us to get angry, and a fair number of us did.
"Honor and Correction to the enemies of Justice and Good." Galax spoke, "Nakk, is the confession you have spoken true?"
"Y-yes." Nakk said softly.
"When you moved here, was it your intention to steal from us?"
"No." Nakk said. "I just- I had some bad debts, I was trying to escape, start a new life. But then they found me, told me if I didn't pay off the debt, they'd make me regret it. So I stole, but no matter how much I took, the debt never seemed to shrink. When we were all transformed, I was so happy because I could finally escape. They couldn't possibly hurt all of us, and with the quarantine..."
"Nakk." Galax spoke. "Is it your intention to atone for your crimes?"
Nakk nodded. "Yes."
"Then I shall ease your burden, that you no longer are swayed into such temptation." Galax took a pouch out of another pouch on his belt. "This is powdered silver." He said, several eyes widened, clearly understanding the significance of this. "Bahamut, Grandfather of Dragons, Grand Master of Flowers, Justicemaker. Before me stands a penitent soul seeking to atone for his sins against his fellow people. If he hides from you, you are the one who shall bring him into the light. If he hides his face, you are the one who shall reveal it. If his tongue betrays him against his people, you shall be the one who frees it from evil machinations."
He threw the powdered silver upon Nakk, and as he did so, he roared.
"NOMAG SVABOL UI WHEDAB RANNOX EKESS MITNE!"
The silver flashed with brilliant light that, somehow, didn't hurt to look upon, and then Nakk was engulfed in flames. Before anyone could panic, the flames swirled as if caught in a whirlwind and flew into Nakk's open mouth.
For a moment, Nakk was suspended in the air, and then he fell onto his feet, then onto his hands and knees. He gasped for breath, faint wisps of silvery fire escaping his open maw.
"What the fuck just happened?" Kuvli asked.
"That was the Atonement spell." A Player remarked. "You touch a willing creature whose alignment has changed, and if you're powerful enough, you bring them back to their original alignment. In this case, maybe neutral leaning toward evil back to good."
Galax nodded. "You have caused suffering to your people, Nakk. I have firmly put you back on the path to righteousness. You will no longer fear the reprisal of your warren, but will openly accept it. You will no longer hesitate, you will do what is necessary to make amends. Though I can do this as many times as I deem necessary, for you, this is but one chance. In the guidance of Bahmut, go forth and sin no more."
"I will. Thank you." Nakk said.
"I do not need thanks, I am simply the one who interceded on your behalf. Zhin mrith filkiati."
With that out of the way, the meeting resumed.
"Ruuk, as the Sorcerer Councilor, you would be responsible for the responsible use of magic. As every Sorcerer has unique spells, there is a level of versatility that the Warren can use. It would be your duty to advocate for your fellow Sorcerers, to ensure we do not end up taking advantage of them for our own selfish desires." Rekka said. "What do you say?"
I gave it some thought, then nodded. "I'll do it." I said.
What the Council does, as I learned, is convene every week to go over current events and how to deal with them, and occasionally plan ahead on hypothetical situations. We were each paired with a Human who was chosen by other Humans to serve as their representative on specific matters.
My partner is Dave. Dave is a Pagan, he practices magic as a form of spirituality. He is also, currently, the only Human with any level of magical skill, being able to use magic items fairly easily without it blowing up in his face.
"The only reason why I'm not a Kobold is because I want to be an Elf." He said. "I'm hoping that learning more about the Anomaly on the magical end of the spectrum of scholarly pursuit will allow us to do that." He paused. "I will also settle for Dragonborn. You and Galax are currently the best chance of either."
"Why would we want to do that?" I asked.
"Well, presently, only Kobolds are capable of magic, meaning that Humans in the Forgotten Realms are different from us."
"The what?"
"Common setting for D&D." He said. "Now, back when this was all make-believe, Earth was mentioned as being existent in the D&D multiverse, meaning that something decided to mess with us." He paused. "Look, from what I've been able to gather, Earth is in a part of the Prime Material plane that has very weak connections to other planes, we lack magic because of this. However, we are currently in a dome of sustained magic-"
"It's actually a relatively short column." I corrected.
"-which means something has connected us, and specifically us." He finished.
"Alright, so this raises several presumptions, like the notion that someone did this to us for a reason. Do you have any ideas as to what that reason would be?"
"Interplanar invasion, the astral plane bleeding into ours, maybe we're crashing into another plane, maybe a wizard got lucky. We don't have enough information."
I sighed. "Look, let's just get some work done."
We got started on requests, most of them were just questions on if a certain spell was viable for use, some were requests to run experiments with certain spells. With Dave and I debating back and forth, we got them done by the end of the day.
[Navigation for 'Dragon Rising'- [1] [2] [3] [4]]
submitted by Drakolf to DrakolfsWritings [link] [comments]
I hadn't wanted to be a Kobold, part of me kept thinking, 'this isn't real, I'm going to wake up any moment now'. But I never woke up to anything but this reality. Rather than tackle this like a normal, sane person, I just withdrew and didn't engage.
"Hello, I'm Ruuk." I said. "I haven't exactly been here the past year and some."
The way everyone welcomed me to the warren, not like a stranger finally being accepted, but as a family member who was gone for far too long- It felt good to just... connect.
While I sequestered myself to my shack on the edge of town, the warren had been organizing, fixing things up, just generally working their asses off to make things as comfortable as possible for people. The result was kind of an anachronistic mess, but it worked. Roads had been turn up and repaved, taking a mess of a car-reliant town and streamlining it so people could actually walk from place to place.
The Artificers had taken cars apart and reused the tools to make a tramway that was convenient for everyone. Why bother with cars when half of us can't even reach the pedals? With the restructuring of the town building by building, done simply because it needed to be done, the surrounding houses could be utilized more efficiently.
The reason why my house was largely untouched was because it was still my house, there was no committee ruling that demanded I give it up. It was understood that I'd know what I wanted to do with it when I was finished being a hermit.
Well, more than a handful of people suggested I just have a full-on mage tower, I realistically didn't need that much space, and even then, the things I wanted to keep were so few that having an entire four-story house to myself with more rooms than I realistically needed.
"Besides, when you get to Level 15, you can create your own demiplane." Tudru, the Fighter, remarked.
The plans for such a hypothetical mage tower put it toward the center of the town, just north of the central tramway. It would be convenient to get to me, and it would be convenient for me to go anywhere.
"Plus, well, we've been wanting you to be the Sorcerer on the Council." Goss, the Sorcerer, remarked.
"The what on the what?" I asked.
The Council, as I understood, was comprised equally of Humans and Kobolds. Kobolds with a set Class were put into a position to discuss the needs of the town. No matter who it was, no matter the Class, there was a representative, even if they were the only one present.
There was no Sorcerer Councilor yet, in spite of us being fairly common.
"Why me?" I asked after being given a significantly less truncated explanation.
"Because you're the most competent one out of all of us, are unbound by preconceived notions of how things work." Goss replied. "I mean, I would have never thought of using Magic Missile on that boulder, or staggering the hits like that so nobody got hurt."
I rubbed the back of my neck. "I mean, anyone could have done it." I said.
"The fact of the matter, Ruuk, is that most of us have assumptions based on a bunch of books in a situation that we still don't really understand. I choose to believe that another world has made contact with ours, and we're the ones burdened with responsibility. That doesn't mean I am correct."
They further broke down expectations.
"I am in charge of infrastructure." Rekka, the Artificer, spoke. The goal was to transform the town into an entirely self-sufficient place. Since we were still technically under quarantine, we couldn't get supplies in or out, not without the government allowing it through. The dissemination of magic items and technology that was essential to our continued existence hinged on understanding where to put it and how to ensure it was used correctly.
Barbarians and Fighters- in spite of Kuvli and Tudru being the only ones- were in charge of town defense.
"We work in tandem to find the best solution to a threat." Tudru said. "While thus far purely theoretical, we have options for if and when monsters show up. Let's not forget the Dire Rat that came out of the mine."
"Dire Rat?" I asked.
"Big fuckers." Kuvli said. "Ever seen a nutria? That fucker you killed was even bigger."
It was understood that if monsters came about, we would need weapons. Artificers took care of that, we had a small cache of magically enhanced swords ready and available, as well as every gun in town somewhere where people could grab and react.
Bards, when we would eventually get one, would be in charge of communications and entertainment. With the quarantine in place and us having no actual income at the moment, short of going out and stealing shit, we were largely on our own with what we already had.
"I am in charge of ensuring the town's spiritual needs are taken care of, and the adjudication of our laws." Galax stated. "Given the high probability of Gods existing, and the likelihood of demons, ghosts, and other beings eventually showing up, This includes discerning which deities are existent, and which ones are not. So far, we've only had minor to moderate luck with divine magic. Prayer is necessary for it to work, as we have to explicitly petition our Gods for it every long rest."
"Aren't you biased toward Bahamut?" I asked.
"Of course." He said. "Any anyone who comes to the Temple is welcome to hear anything I have to say on the matter. The biggest problem is figuring out how it all relates."
Next was Merti. "We Druids are in charge of ensuring this town's sustainability and harmony with nature." She said. "That includes recycling materials, ethical and sustainable logging, hunting, farming... Essentially, as long as it pertains to nature, it's our duty to ensure we don't shoot ourselves in the foot."
"Well, while you're busy speaking for the trees, we're responsible for going out there and making sure nothing is coming to kill us. That and getting meat." Tatla spoke. "We're also in reserve in case of a combat situation, we defer to our Fighter and Barbarian for that."
"When we get a Rogue, they will focus on security. As the closest thing we've got to that, I've got plans set up for establishing a wall around the town, just outside the Anomaly, so that people can't just waltz right in, and to prevent any wild animals or hypothetical monsters from getting in." Nakk the Locksmith who might actually be a Rogue said. "And for the record, I've tried everything I can think of to awaken to a Class, and I'm reasonably certain Rogue isn't one." He paused. "That being said, I am offering lockpicking lessons to anyone who thinks it might help."
"Considering we just share and share alike, I don't think we need to worry about our Rogues." Someone I wasn't familiar with yet said.
The way Nakk reacted to his statement, avoiding his gaze, made me wonder why he reacted that way.
"Nakk, why do you look guilty?" I asked.
He looked at me with wide eyes, and for a tense moment, it seemed like he was about to run. I walked up to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder. "It's better to get it out now, rather than later."
He looked away. "I... I've been overcharging everyone since I moved in." He said. "On top of that, I've used my skills as a locksmith to steal from people."
He expected us to get angry, and a fair number of us did.
"Honor and Correction to the enemies of Justice and Good." Galax spoke, "Nakk, is the confession you have spoken true?"
"Y-yes." Nakk said softly.
"When you moved here, was it your intention to steal from us?"
"No." Nakk said. "I just- I had some bad debts, I was trying to escape, start a new life. But then they found me, told me if I didn't pay off the debt, they'd make me regret it. So I stole, but no matter how much I took, the debt never seemed to shrink. When we were all transformed, I was so happy because I could finally escape. They couldn't possibly hurt all of us, and with the quarantine..."
"Nakk." Galax spoke. "Is it your intention to atone for your crimes?"
Nakk nodded. "Yes."
"Then I shall ease your burden, that you no longer are swayed into such temptation." Galax took a pouch out of another pouch on his belt. "This is powdered silver." He said, several eyes widened, clearly understanding the significance of this. "Bahamut, Grandfather of Dragons, Grand Master of Flowers, Justicemaker. Before me stands a penitent soul seeking to atone for his sins against his fellow people. If he hides from you, you are the one who shall bring him into the light. If he hides his face, you are the one who shall reveal it. If his tongue betrays him against his people, you shall be the one who frees it from evil machinations."
He threw the powdered silver upon Nakk, and as he did so, he roared.
"NOMAG SVABOL UI WHEDAB RANNOX EKESS MITNE!"
The silver flashed with brilliant light that, somehow, didn't hurt to look upon, and then Nakk was engulfed in flames. Before anyone could panic, the flames swirled as if caught in a whirlwind and flew into Nakk's open mouth.
For a moment, Nakk was suspended in the air, and then he fell onto his feet, then onto his hands and knees. He gasped for breath, faint wisps of silvery fire escaping his open maw.
"What the fuck just happened?" Kuvli asked.
"That was the Atonement spell." A Player remarked. "You touch a willing creature whose alignment has changed, and if you're powerful enough, you bring them back to their original alignment. In this case, maybe neutral leaning toward evil back to good."
Galax nodded. "You have caused suffering to your people, Nakk. I have firmly put you back on the path to righteousness. You will no longer fear the reprisal of your warren, but will openly accept it. You will no longer hesitate, you will do what is necessary to make amends. Though I can do this as many times as I deem necessary, for you, this is but one chance. In the guidance of Bahmut, go forth and sin no more."
"I will. Thank you." Nakk said.
"I do not need thanks, I am simply the one who interceded on your behalf. Zhin mrith filkiati."
With that out of the way, the meeting resumed.
"Ruuk, as the Sorcerer Councilor, you would be responsible for the responsible use of magic. As every Sorcerer has unique spells, there is a level of versatility that the Warren can use. It would be your duty to advocate for your fellow Sorcerers, to ensure we do not end up taking advantage of them for our own selfish desires." Rekka said. "What do you say?"
I gave it some thought, then nodded. "I'll do it." I said.
What the Council does, as I learned, is convene every week to go over current events and how to deal with them, and occasionally plan ahead on hypothetical situations. We were each paired with a Human who was chosen by other Humans to serve as their representative on specific matters.
My partner is Dave. Dave is a Pagan, he practices magic as a form of spirituality. He is also, currently, the only Human with any level of magical skill, being able to use magic items fairly easily without it blowing up in his face.
"The only reason why I'm not a Kobold is because I want to be an Elf." He said. "I'm hoping that learning more about the Anomaly on the magical end of the spectrum of scholarly pursuit will allow us to do that." He paused. "I will also settle for Dragonborn. You and Galax are currently the best chance of either."
"Why would we want to do that?" I asked.
"Well, presently, only Kobolds are capable of magic, meaning that Humans in the Forgotten Realms are different from us."
"The what?"
"Common setting for D&D." He said. "Now, back when this was all make-believe, Earth was mentioned as being existent in the D&D multiverse, meaning that something decided to mess with us." He paused. "Look, from what I've been able to gather, Earth is in a part of the Prime Material plane that has very weak connections to other planes, we lack magic because of this. However, we are currently in a dome of sustained magic-"
"It's actually a relatively short column." I corrected.
"-which means something has connected us, and specifically us." He finished.
"Alright, so this raises several presumptions, like the notion that someone did this to us for a reason. Do you have any ideas as to what that reason would be?"
"Interplanar invasion, the astral plane bleeding into ours, maybe we're crashing into another plane, maybe a wizard got lucky. We don't have enough information."
I sighed. "Look, let's just get some work done."
We got started on requests, most of them were just questions on if a certain spell was viable for use, some were requests to run experiments with certain spells. With Dave and I debating back and forth, we got them done by the end of the day.
[Navigation for 'Dragon Rising'- [1] [2] [3] [4]]
2023.05.30 05:42 MatchaDoAboutNothing When they come knocking in the morning
By Tony Mosher
submitted by MatchaDoAboutNothing to ChillingApp [link] [comments]
I got out of bed Tuesday morning with an overwhelming sense of dread. It was then that the alarms sounded. Those old school air raid sirens. Funny enough, I didn't even know that my town had those. Soon after I received an emergency alert on my phone. “Disaster alert warning. All residents are advised to stay in their houses. Keep clear of all windows. Minimize noise.” God that's weird. I'd never seen an alert like that before. I decided that I'd better call my boss. I probably shouldn't go into work with that alert and all. There's a problem though. No cell signal. I have to say, that's not normal. But why would it be? Air raid sirens, emergency alerts, and no phone. Perfect. Curiously, I make my way to my living room and peak out the blinds. I see a bright and sunny day. I guess it's not a weather alert. But then why did it say to stay away from windows? That's, like, tornado advice. Maybe the person in charge of these alerts messed up or something. But it it was a mess up, why is the cell reception out? I guess I could go to work; nothing seems especially dangerous outside. Oh but everyone else probably got the alert; what if I'm the only one who shows up? No, something might be going on anyway. I'll just call my boss when the reception comes back up. Besides, I hate that stupid job. All I do is answer phones all day. If I get fired it's not the end of the world. Mind made up I closed the blinds and got on my computer, thinking I'd check the local news. That aught to clear up the current state of things. Oh. No wifi. Alright, something is definitely up. This is getting really weird. Why would the wifi be out too? I don't have cable, but maybe I can find something on the free broadcast channels. I flipped on the tv and my blood ran cold. All I found on every channel that comes in was a visual counterpart to the emergency alert I'd gotten on my phone earlier. No answers for me I guess. What the heck do I do? No info, and no entertainment. I sat down on my couch. I guess I was there for a while, deep in thought. A while later I realized maybe I should check in with my neighbor. Ted lived next door, and not very far either. He probably didn't know any more than me, but damn, at least I wouldn't be alone in....whatever it was that was happening. I never made it over there. As I grabbed my jacket, keys, and phone (just out of habit of course), and approached my front door, a loud pounding rang out through the first floor of my house. Someone was at the door, and seemingly REALLY wanted in. I went to answer it, as one does, but stopped. Something felt very wrong about this. None of my neighbors would knock like that. Maybe one of them was freaked out about everything that was going on? No. This didn't feel right. “Let me in, hurry!” came a booming bass voice rang out. That definitely wasn't anyone I knew, and who else but my neighbors would be anywhere around here after the alert? Slowly I crept to the side window to peak out. When I saw who was there, my heart just about stopped. An elderly woman stood at my door. With that voice?! She turned to walk away my stomach turned and I nearly threw up. The way she moved was just not right. Not for someone of her age. Not for anyone ever. She moved in quick, limber strides, punctuated by jerking spastic motions that my eyes almost couldn't process. I know this sounds nuts, god help me, but I don't think she was human. And she was headed to my neighbor's house. She pounded on his door. I prayed he wouldn't answer. I wanted to help him, but what could I do? Of course he answered. Good old dependable Ted; he would never turn away someone in need of his help. That turned out to be his downfall. As he opened the door, she lunged in. I heard a horrible scream. I had an unobstructed view through his front windows, but I didn't want to see this. I let the curtain fall and backed away. Just then another pounding came from my door. This time it sounded like a little girl crying for help. I knew better. This one stayed for a while. At least I think it was the same one. A different voice came every few minutes. But I assume it was the same one. Some time later it left. I heard it walking away. These are not quiet things. I rushed through the house making sure all the lights were off, and all the doors and windows were locked. I grabbed what water and food I could, and shut myself in my hall closet. That was the best place I could think of to hide. No basement in my house, and upstairs was a bad option. If worst came to worst I'd either be trapped, or jumping from a second story window. At least on the ground floor I might be able to make a run for it. Not that I think I'd be successful. I hadn't seen one of these things try to run, but I have no reason to believe they aren't fast. I was in that closet for some time. I don't know exactly how long, but it was at least a couple days. I barely touched my food and water. I was terrified to make any noise. Every few minutes the pounding at the door came back. All sorts of different voices. Honestly I thought I was going to die in that closet. Eventually I knew they would break in. How could they not? They must know I'm here. Why else would they keep coming back? Coming back to the same empty house over and over again would be an awful waste of time. Although, I didn't really know anything about their intelligence. How stupid could they be though, if they were trapping up? They never did break in. I don't know if it was just dumb luck, or if maybe there are rules they have to follow. Either way, I didn't take the bait. Sometime later the sirens sounded again. Like I said I'm not really sure how long, but it was at least a couple of days. I got another notification on my phone. Look at that, I guess the cell reception was back. I barely had time to read the all clear alert before my phone died. I suppose days in a closet will do that, even if I hadn't used it. I disregarded the alert. No way was I coming out of that closet. I'd rather starve to death or die of thirst than to face whatever those things would do to me. I didn't trust the alerts. I may have stayed in that closet forever. The pounding started back up again, and I was glad that I had been skeptical. But then, I heard the sounds of my door being broken down. I really thought that was it. The alert was wrong, and they had finally decided to just force their way in to get me. Imagine my surprise when I found myself being pulled from my closet by personnel dressed in what looked to me like space suits. I found myself being directed out of my house and into a tent. There I was assaulted by a heavy spray of something cold and noxious. Some sort of decontamination shower. It burned my eyes and skin. Afterward I was given a pair of scrubs to wear and was sent off to the hospital for observation. It was at the hospital that I was given an explanation. After my intake a doctor came to talk to me. Apparently there had been an issue at the nearby power plant. The doctor said it was radiation. I had been exposed. I told the doctor that couldn't be, and recounted my experience. He dismissed me and told me that hallucinations were a common symptom of radiation sickness, but I was lucky to have only been minimally exposed. He said that my house must have lead in the walls, because most of the people in my town had gotten much sicker than me. Most of them had died, or were expected to soon. He then informed me that although I had been given a mostly full bill of health, I would need to stay for a few days just in case. I would also need to be monitored periodically throughout my life, as my chance of developing cancer was much higher than the average person. I also wouldn't be able to return home for a while. Disaster personnel would need to clear the area and make sure I wouldn't be at risk of further contamination. Radiation can stick around apparently? I'm not really too sure about all that. But the doctor said the Red Cross would be giving out vouchers to survivors for temporary accommodations and personal needs, once we were released. Everything I had been through in the last couple of days, the explanation laid out for me should have put me at ease. I should be feeling lucky right now. But I wasn't. There was one big problem. As far as I knew, my town did not, or had ever had a nuclear power plant anywhere near it. I would know. I'm a receptionist at the hydro-electric plant about an hour out of town. And as the doctor walked away, I caught a hint of the same spastic movement that the old woman thing had made at the beginning of all this. He was smoother though. Like they learned we could tell that they were different from us. Here's what I think: we're being invaded. I don't know by what, but they're getting better at blending in. If you get an emergency alert, don't go outside. Don't let anyone in. Just hide any pray. I think they might have to follow rules. I think if you don't let them in, they can't just come in. But that's just a guess. Good luck out there.
2023.05.30 05:31 Secondary_Type Vengeful Ghost
Barber’s Star, 2382
Captain Jayme Dawson sat at the centre of the bridge of the destroyer NFNS Anders T. Christian and grinned to himself with a proprietary satisfaction at his crew’s performance during the drill he’d just run them through; tensions along the border had been growing for months, and he’d be damned before he’d give his people anything less than their best chance at survival. Destroyer Squadron 193, part of the task force sent to defend Barber’s Star, was picketing the system and watching the hyper limit. The Christian’s closest fellows, her sister ships Invincible and Redoubtable, were each a quarter of the way around the system in different directions, millions of kilometres away. Were she to encounter any trouble, the Christian would be on her own for hours.Dawson saw his sensors officer stiffen in her seat, and rose an eyebrow. “Share with the class, Ensign?” he asked, pulling up the tactical plot on one of his own displays…and nearly had a much more unseemly reaction. Even as she was reading out the situation in a shaking voice, he was running through his options in his mind. “Th-three light cruisers just jumped in, Sir. They aren’t broadcasting any identification—power spike. They’re raising shields.”
A corner of his mind noted how much professionalism she managed to regain by the end of her report, but he had more important things to worry about. Those cruisers were not supposed to be in-system, and clearly had intentions far from peaceful. “Comms, get word to Admiral Miranda and broadcast the standard challenge. Ops, get me shields, and bring the weapons up; looks like we won’t be able to get out of this one if they turn out to be hostile.”
The look he gave at his crew was the grin of a cornered wolf. When they returned it with similar expressions of their own to the beat of the General Quarters alarm, he felt a strange assurance they wouldn’t disappear into the black alone.
Admiral Carmen Miranda listened to the briefing with an incredulity she couldn’t hide even behind the habitual snacking she partook in. After she squawked her distress, the Christian had engaged the cruisers and her signal had abruptly cut off. She’d made the obvious and prudent assumption Dawson had been defeated and his ship destroyed and sent a small force out to reconnoitre the area. Expecting to find the wreckage of a destroyer, they’d found a field of debris surrounding three light cruisers floating dead in space. Lifeboats screamed for help. The enemy’s lifeboats. He’d sent his report off to FLEETCOM at Charlemagne. The raiders had been defeated, themselves…but where was the Christian?
Barber’s Star, 2495
NFMS Hera’s Dream wallowed through normal space, as was the merchant ship’s wont and lot in life. The uneventful flight had left the Second Mate Sammy Ortega, officer of the watch, yawning. He hated routes like these, and glanced at the plot with a well-hidden resentment; Nine (the creatively-named ninth planet of the system) was on the outskirts of the Barber’s Star system, and it left him and his captain’s ship vulnerably near the hyper limit for nearly two-thirds of the trip. The perfect place to get jumped by pirates. Still, though, the system had grown into a defence nexus since the War of ‘82, and it needed the precious metals Hera’s Dream carried. It also meant that Fleet ships weren’t exactly rare in the system.None of that, however, was much consolation when four pirate ships lit off their drives and began to burn hard to intercept the ponderous fleet supply ship travelling with no protection but the light asteroid shielding that allowed it to travel at a small percentage of light speed. Even before Johny Nelson, the man sitting at the sensor console, could give his trembling report, red icons littered the plot as the pirates’ fire-control radars swept across the unarmed ship’s hull.
“They’re hailing us, Sammy,” Nelson said quietly, the shake in his voice flattening into a disbelieving facsimile of a person’s speech.
Gritting his teeth, Ortega told him to accept the signal. A slovenly face grinned back at him through the command chair’s display when they made the connection. “Cut thrust and prepare to be boarded. Any resistance will be met with force,” he stated, then grinned savagely and licked his lips. “A lot of force.”
The connection closed even while the overwhelmed second mate opened his mouth to respond; before he could turn to the wide-eyed woman at the helm to order their acceleration halted, to give in to the pirate’s demands, Nelson stiffened. “Another contact, Sammy,” he reported. “I don’t think it’s a pirate—the vector’s all wrong. And she’s fast, Sammy.”
“A fleet patrol?” Ortega asked.
“No IFF,” Nelson replied.
“Get her on the horn, Johny,” Ortega ordered.
“Nothing on the comms…huh? That’s weird,” Nelson said, then leaned forward. A strange dread filled Ortega; why wouldn’t she answer hailing? Nelson’s eyes widened. “She’s got her shields up, Sammy!” he exclaimed.
The plot said she had enough power to be a destroyer, but even a true warship of her class should be cautious about engaging this many pirates! On she came nonetheless, shields glowing a curiously menacing red. On she came, hundreds of thousands of kilometres from either the Hera’s Dream or any of the pirate ships. On she came, speeding toward the centre of the pirate “formation.”
When the first beams reached out, Ortega reflected on the courage of that single ship. It was a rare thing, shown by very few even within the navies protecting the disparate human planets. Even as he snapped orders to the woman at the helm, who obeyed in a sort of fugue state incurred by the stress of the situation, he contemplated the stranger’s fearless behaviour.
Like a tiger to its meat, he thought to himself.
The unknown ship flew incredibly; Ortega thought that the helmsman must’ve lived that ship, for how she pirouetted and slipped mere metres aside to avoid the pirates’ beams. Never did that ship fear their guns or numbers, and when their beams inevitably impacted, the entire bridge crew of the Hera’s Dream cringed, expecting those ruby-red shields to collapse. To their astonishment, they held strong, and hot lances of fury struck out from that unyielding bubble, rending the aether. The crew could only watch and shake their heads as this strange, astounding ship cut the pirates to bloody shreds.
Just as quickly as the stranger had shown up and begun to fight the pirates, then the fighting was all done; the pirate fleet was shattered, and the unknown ship had won. Ortega instructed Nelson to attempt to hail the stranger again to thank them, but once again their hailing went unanswered.
“She’s matching velocity,” Nelson reported, his voice filled with the awe and stunned surprise the rest of the crew were feeling. She pulled alongside close enough the hull-mounted cameras could get a good look at her when she dropped her shields.
When she did, the only sound on the bridge was that of three souls collectively inhaling.
The hull of that strange ship was irrevocably marred by the scars of some long-ago encounter; thirty holes ran clear through her, and a large gash left one side missing much of its hull panelling. Every spacer aboard the Hera’s Dream looking knew, without a doubt, that when the ship sustained those grievous wounds everyone aboard had died.
“Mr. Ortega,” the helmswoman said, finally gaining her voice. When his eyes met hers, she gave him a shell-shocked grin. “Have you ever heard the tale of Dawson’s Christian?” she asked, then pointed at the monitor. Ortega was confused for a brief moment, before his eyes returned to the feed and widened.
Painted in white lettering across what seemed to be the only surviving hull space on their side, they could see the ship’s name…Anders T. Christian. That realisation seemed to course through not only them, but also the stranger; instead of flying away, though, the hull itself began to fade from reality before their very eyes. The stunned, silent crew of the Hera’s Dream laid witness to the grizzly sight that was the view of the outer compartments of the shattered ship. Bodies laid askew, floating in the zero-G vacuum, limbs burned off by the edges of beams or torn off by flying shrapnel.
Mercifully, further detail was hidden by the dead crew’s shipsuits.
The bulkheads began to shimmer from perception as the bridge crew aboard Hera’s Dream began to tremble.
The last thing to slip from view were the bones…dead white bones of Jayme Dawson and his crew.
There are stories of the Dutchman, the Celeste and Barnham’s Pride, stories of the Horseman and the Lady at his side…
Kuiper Yard, Sol, 2500
“...but the tale that chills my spirit,” Ortega finished, “and I swear to God it’s true, is the tale of Jayme Dawson and his crew.”The spacers sitting around the table shared disbelieving glances, but in their years since working aboard Sammy Ortega’s ship, they’d never heard him tell any tall tales. Besides.
It was comforting to know that merchants had a protector.
Even if it was just a vengeful ghost.
————————————————————————————
ِ A short story I wrote based on the song Dawson's Christian. Highly recommend y'all give it a listen. Critique is welcome.
2023.05.30 05:10 autumnNOTamber I Need To Talk About Kevin Pt. 1
If I were to be fully honest with myself, I knew we would be forever, or we’d end in disaster. I think a part of you may have felt that, too. So why could we never meet each other in the middle. Perhaps, we were subconsciously unwilling to do so. From the moment we met, we were living on opposite ends of the spectrum. You were finding yourself and wanted freedom; I had been finding myself within my freedom but was now ready for partnership. And, truth be told, I was lonely. I think it was excruciatingly hard to admit the level of my own loneliness as I equated it to weakness within myself. I love being alone. I thrive in an environment where I have freedom and room to breathe. I’m fiercely independent and I take pride in that. But I’m still just a person and I must recognize the toll it takes on my spirit and, on my soul, to be so secluded. Having chosen to stay single and celibate for 5 years to work on myself and my life and my goals, changed my brain chemistry. And I would do it over and over again if I had to. While I learned invaluable lessons on my own inner strength and perseverance, I severely neglected the raw, emotional, intimate, creative, feminine being that is so deeply, me. I was starting to lose myself. The blatant lack of figures in my life was steadily becoming more than I could bear. The unbearable weight of nothing at all creates a whole new ache. So, there it is. I was lonely. Lonelier than I can describe. And then you showed up.
I have to say, I’ve developed a very toxic, on again/ off again relationship with dating apps. I have a habit of creating a profile and deleting it within 24 hours. There’s something slightly addicting to the extreme high and low of it all. I’ll go from feeling wildly confident and hopeful with a few matches and dozens upon dozens of people who like my profile, to quick disillusionment with every uninspired response from potential prospects. Perhaps this is what it’s like to have a gambling addiction. Every time I create a new profile, I’m buzzing with excitement that maybe, just maybe, this time I’ll meet “the one”. And even though the outcome is always a letdown, the thrill of the “what if”, alone, is enough to keep me coming back for more. The dopamine of maybes. And so, on this Thanksgiving night, when good food and quality family time should have been enough, Bumble was calling my name.
I made a profile. I even paid for the month-long subscription. This was a way to force myself to actually give it a shot instead of bowing out in the first 48. Can’t just delete the profile when I’ve literally invested in it. But I can’t deny that it did come with benefits. One of the incentives to get you to pay for their premium subscription is that it allows you to see everyone who has liked your profile without having to match with them first. I mean who doesn’t want to see that? It’s this particular perk that made it possible for our paths (profiles) to cross, in the first place.
So, how is it that my willingness to throw away $50 on this night, somehow led us straight into each other’s lives? If I hadn’t seen that you liked my profile, I never would have swiped right on you. And it’s not for any reason you may be thinking. While I was scrolling through to see who was seemingly interested in little ole me, I saw your picture. I was instantly intrigued. You stood out. Handsome, stylish, a former fellow Paul Mitchell Future Professional. As surface level as a profile is, you seemed like a very interesting person; someone infinitely cooler than me and you certainly didn’t appear to have a hard time finding someone to take the spot next to you. If I hadn’t seen that you liked my profile, I would have just swiped left thinking there was no way someone like you would be interested in someone like me. Another missed connection, lost to the void of the internet because of my own insecurity. But not on this night. Because on this night, I threw caution and fifty bucks to the wind, and we matched, and I messaged you and you messaged back.
The small talk was easy with you. You were sweet and charming. Very quickly our small talk turned into essays upon essays of messages, and it only got better once I gave you, my number. From sunup to far past sundown, we were in constant communication, and I looked forward to every text. It seemed like you were truly interested in getting to know everything about me and I assure you, I was truly interested in getting to know all about you. You really were a breath of fresh air. It hadn’t been easy to find someone I could chat with like that, for quite some time. And it was thrilling. It was refreshing. It was new. I felt seen. I felt heard. For the first time in such an agonizingly long time, I saw possibility. I remember thinking to myself that even if this didn’t pan out in a romantic sense, I at least had found an amazing new friend. Someone new and beautiful to be a part of my life.
Even though we had been hitting it off right from the jump and even though I had been so taken with you, I had to do my due diligence. As a single woman and single mother with a lot to lose, anytime someone new comes into my life, it’s always a good idea to know who I’m speaking with. Personally, I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to do a little digging when someone new enters their life. You can call it paranoia, but I just call it safety.
First, I did what anyone would do, and I searched social media. No Facebook and I couldn’t find an Instagram with your first and last name. Just your Snapchat as it was listed on your Bumble profile. So, then I tried google. It’s truly scary how much you can find on someone with very basic information. In a couple of searches, I found your middle name. I know this sounds like stalker territory, but the only reason I even wanted to know your full name was so I could search a particular state website. For anyone’s protection, I’d recommend it. So, I did. Honestly, I thought I was just wasting my time and being overly cautious, but in a couple of clicks, there it was. Your torrid past laid out in front of me. It scared me. Terrified me. I’ll even admit that I cried in frustration when I found it all. I cried because it just solidified what I had already been feeling; you were too good to be true. I sat with this information for a while and eventually decided, against any instinct inside of me, to still give it a chance. Give you a chance.
Finally, you asked me out. It wasn’t a typical date, but it was an easy way to meet you in person for the first time. To say I was nervous was a vast understatement, but I was also just as giddy. At this point, I’d damn near forgotten the fluttery rush of pending first impressions and I rode the high all day long. Instead of going out to dinner and a movie, you came over to my house for dinner and a root touch up. When I got the “I’m here” text, I’m pretty sure my soul left my body. I never asked you how you felt the day leading up to our meeting. Were you as nervous as I was? I like to think and hope that our energies were vibrating on the same frequencies, that day, but I may have been the only one so hopeful. When I saw you in person the first time, I thought you were just as handsome, if not more, standing in the light of my front porch. Admittedly, most of my nervousness stemmed from the thought that you might have been disappointed when you saw me in person. Perhaps, you were, but if that were the case, you hid your disenchantment, well.
I cooked spaghetti that night. You ate two bowls. You kept telling me how delicious it was and even though it took absolutely nothing for me to prepare the meal, I was charmed by how grateful you were. After we ate, I did your hair. I picked out a funny podcast to listen to in the background. I thought that if conversation died, we could listen in unawkward silence and hopefully you’d think it was as funny as I did. To my surprise, the conversation didn’t die at all. In fact, us talking over the podcast just became distracting, so I turned it off, altogether. Eventually, it was time to wash your hair. To make up for the fact that you had to be bent over in an extremely uncomfortable way, I attempted to give you a decent scalp massage while I shampooed. Because of the odd angle, it was a clumsy attempt, at best, but I still hoped you liked it. It’s funny to me that the whole time I couldn’t help but think how oddly intimate it was washing your hair in my kitchen sink. But I think I’m just weird. After that, we moved to the couch. You were sitting on one end, and I was sitting on the other. No music, no podcasts, no tv, just us. It seemed like we discussed anything and everything. If there was a lull in the conversation, you’d just stare at me with a soft smile and assured me that this silence was peaceful, and you were enjoying it. But, every time I met your gaze, I could feel myself blushing, so I grabbed my blanket and kept holding it up to my face. You said I was being cute. Even long after this first meeting, I’d always feel so exposed, so vulnerable, when I’d catch you looking at me like that. Despite my bashfulness, I was more comfortable with you than I’d been with another person in a very long time. I even had the courage to bring up my sleuthing and the things I had found. You took it very well and even thanked me for my honesty. You told me everything, sparing no details. You took ownership of the things you had done and placed blame where you felt was deserved. It was matter of fact with an edge of remorse. I commended your vulnerability and willingness to share. I left the conversation feeling very pleased with my decision to hear you out. And I was proud of your seemingly incredible amount of self-awareness.
Eventually, I had to cut our night off. I had to work the next day and it was nearly one in the morning. You didn’t try to kiss me. You gave me a hug before you left and assured me that you had a great night. I thought, for sure, you weren’t interested after meeting me in person, but I was just so happy that I’d have you as a friend, that any bruise on my ego wasn’t even felt. Afterwards, our texts continued as normal, and it would only be a few short days before you came over again.
The next time you came over, any doubt that I may have had about you being attracted to me or being interested, was put to rest. This time we watched movies. Or maybe just a show I had on. I can’t remember. My brain was too fixated on how closely you were sitting next to me. How close your hand was getting to mine. How our pinkies finally brushed against each other. How you gained the courage, for both of us, to grab my hand and I was so thankful you did. Eventually, the movie or show ended, and we started talking. The nervousness and building tension were palpable. I was screaming in my head “kiss me”. When you finally turned to face me, you just stared at me and smiled, still holding my hand, and then you asked if it’d be okay if you kissed me. I answered with a desperate “yes” that sounded far more pathetic than I like to admit. To my own surprise, I let my body take charge. Without even thinking, I dropped your hand and immediately grabbed for you. One hand on your chest and the other on the side of your face. Our first kiss was not soft and timid like you may have expected. In fact, I felt I may have surprised you. I certainly surprised myself. Our first kiss was fervent and laced with aching desire. At least, that’s how it was for me. And it didn’t take long for me to invite you to my bedroom.
Neither of us were prepared, so we didn’t have sex that night, which was okay. Once we were in the bedroom, I began to feel overwhelmed. But you were so patient and reassuring. When we did finally have sex for the first time, it was absolutely incredible. I never told you this, but it was possibly the most intense sexual experience I've had in my life, thus far, and it was very emotionally charged, for me. You were the first person I’d been with in five years. Up until then, I had wondered if I’d ever be capable of being intimate with someone, again. But I trusted you implicitly. Effortlessly. You made me feel so safe. Before every kiss, before every touch, you made sure to ask me if it was okay. If I wanted to stop at any moment, I knew I could speak up without fear of any form of retaliation or passive aggressive behavior. But I didn’t want to stop. I wanted you; all of you. I wanted us. And God, how beautiful you made me feel even though I was so intensely insecure about my body. You made sure I was comfortable. Comfortable with myself; comfortable with you. You took your time with everything you did. The sensation of it all was overwhelming in the best way possible. The sensation of you was almost more than I could stand. To be completely honest, it felt like losing my virginity, all over again. You were so patient and understanding. So caring and passionate. And from that moment on, you had me wrapped around your finger; just where you wanted me.
submitted by autumnNOTamber to Diary [link] [comments]
I have to say, I’ve developed a very toxic, on again/ off again relationship with dating apps. I have a habit of creating a profile and deleting it within 24 hours. There’s something slightly addicting to the extreme high and low of it all. I’ll go from feeling wildly confident and hopeful with a few matches and dozens upon dozens of people who like my profile, to quick disillusionment with every uninspired response from potential prospects. Perhaps this is what it’s like to have a gambling addiction. Every time I create a new profile, I’m buzzing with excitement that maybe, just maybe, this time I’ll meet “the one”. And even though the outcome is always a letdown, the thrill of the “what if”, alone, is enough to keep me coming back for more. The dopamine of maybes. And so, on this Thanksgiving night, when good food and quality family time should have been enough, Bumble was calling my name.
I made a profile. I even paid for the month-long subscription. This was a way to force myself to actually give it a shot instead of bowing out in the first 48. Can’t just delete the profile when I’ve literally invested in it. But I can’t deny that it did come with benefits. One of the incentives to get you to pay for their premium subscription is that it allows you to see everyone who has liked your profile without having to match with them first. I mean who doesn’t want to see that? It’s this particular perk that made it possible for our paths (profiles) to cross, in the first place.
So, how is it that my willingness to throw away $50 on this night, somehow led us straight into each other’s lives? If I hadn’t seen that you liked my profile, I never would have swiped right on you. And it’s not for any reason you may be thinking. While I was scrolling through to see who was seemingly interested in little ole me, I saw your picture. I was instantly intrigued. You stood out. Handsome, stylish, a former fellow Paul Mitchell Future Professional. As surface level as a profile is, you seemed like a very interesting person; someone infinitely cooler than me and you certainly didn’t appear to have a hard time finding someone to take the spot next to you. If I hadn’t seen that you liked my profile, I would have just swiped left thinking there was no way someone like you would be interested in someone like me. Another missed connection, lost to the void of the internet because of my own insecurity. But not on this night. Because on this night, I threw caution and fifty bucks to the wind, and we matched, and I messaged you and you messaged back.
The small talk was easy with you. You were sweet and charming. Very quickly our small talk turned into essays upon essays of messages, and it only got better once I gave you, my number. From sunup to far past sundown, we were in constant communication, and I looked forward to every text. It seemed like you were truly interested in getting to know everything about me and I assure you, I was truly interested in getting to know all about you. You really were a breath of fresh air. It hadn’t been easy to find someone I could chat with like that, for quite some time. And it was thrilling. It was refreshing. It was new. I felt seen. I felt heard. For the first time in such an agonizingly long time, I saw possibility. I remember thinking to myself that even if this didn’t pan out in a romantic sense, I at least had found an amazing new friend. Someone new and beautiful to be a part of my life.
Even though we had been hitting it off right from the jump and even though I had been so taken with you, I had to do my due diligence. As a single woman and single mother with a lot to lose, anytime someone new comes into my life, it’s always a good idea to know who I’m speaking with. Personally, I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to do a little digging when someone new enters their life. You can call it paranoia, but I just call it safety.
First, I did what anyone would do, and I searched social media. No Facebook and I couldn’t find an Instagram with your first and last name. Just your Snapchat as it was listed on your Bumble profile. So, then I tried google. It’s truly scary how much you can find on someone with very basic information. In a couple of searches, I found your middle name. I know this sounds like stalker territory, but the only reason I even wanted to know your full name was so I could search a particular state website. For anyone’s protection, I’d recommend it. So, I did. Honestly, I thought I was just wasting my time and being overly cautious, but in a couple of clicks, there it was. Your torrid past laid out in front of me. It scared me. Terrified me. I’ll even admit that I cried in frustration when I found it all. I cried because it just solidified what I had already been feeling; you were too good to be true. I sat with this information for a while and eventually decided, against any instinct inside of me, to still give it a chance. Give you a chance.
Finally, you asked me out. It wasn’t a typical date, but it was an easy way to meet you in person for the first time. To say I was nervous was a vast understatement, but I was also just as giddy. At this point, I’d damn near forgotten the fluttery rush of pending first impressions and I rode the high all day long. Instead of going out to dinner and a movie, you came over to my house for dinner and a root touch up. When I got the “I’m here” text, I’m pretty sure my soul left my body. I never asked you how you felt the day leading up to our meeting. Were you as nervous as I was? I like to think and hope that our energies were vibrating on the same frequencies, that day, but I may have been the only one so hopeful. When I saw you in person the first time, I thought you were just as handsome, if not more, standing in the light of my front porch. Admittedly, most of my nervousness stemmed from the thought that you might have been disappointed when you saw me in person. Perhaps, you were, but if that were the case, you hid your disenchantment, well.
I cooked spaghetti that night. You ate two bowls. You kept telling me how delicious it was and even though it took absolutely nothing for me to prepare the meal, I was charmed by how grateful you were. After we ate, I did your hair. I picked out a funny podcast to listen to in the background. I thought that if conversation died, we could listen in unawkward silence and hopefully you’d think it was as funny as I did. To my surprise, the conversation didn’t die at all. In fact, us talking over the podcast just became distracting, so I turned it off, altogether. Eventually, it was time to wash your hair. To make up for the fact that you had to be bent over in an extremely uncomfortable way, I attempted to give you a decent scalp massage while I shampooed. Because of the odd angle, it was a clumsy attempt, at best, but I still hoped you liked it. It’s funny to me that the whole time I couldn’t help but think how oddly intimate it was washing your hair in my kitchen sink. But I think I’m just weird. After that, we moved to the couch. You were sitting on one end, and I was sitting on the other. No music, no podcasts, no tv, just us. It seemed like we discussed anything and everything. If there was a lull in the conversation, you’d just stare at me with a soft smile and assured me that this silence was peaceful, and you were enjoying it. But, every time I met your gaze, I could feel myself blushing, so I grabbed my blanket and kept holding it up to my face. You said I was being cute. Even long after this first meeting, I’d always feel so exposed, so vulnerable, when I’d catch you looking at me like that. Despite my bashfulness, I was more comfortable with you than I’d been with another person in a very long time. I even had the courage to bring up my sleuthing and the things I had found. You took it very well and even thanked me for my honesty. You told me everything, sparing no details. You took ownership of the things you had done and placed blame where you felt was deserved. It was matter of fact with an edge of remorse. I commended your vulnerability and willingness to share. I left the conversation feeling very pleased with my decision to hear you out. And I was proud of your seemingly incredible amount of self-awareness.
Eventually, I had to cut our night off. I had to work the next day and it was nearly one in the morning. You didn’t try to kiss me. You gave me a hug before you left and assured me that you had a great night. I thought, for sure, you weren’t interested after meeting me in person, but I was just so happy that I’d have you as a friend, that any bruise on my ego wasn’t even felt. Afterwards, our texts continued as normal, and it would only be a few short days before you came over again.
The next time you came over, any doubt that I may have had about you being attracted to me or being interested, was put to rest. This time we watched movies. Or maybe just a show I had on. I can’t remember. My brain was too fixated on how closely you were sitting next to me. How close your hand was getting to mine. How our pinkies finally brushed against each other. How you gained the courage, for both of us, to grab my hand and I was so thankful you did. Eventually, the movie or show ended, and we started talking. The nervousness and building tension were palpable. I was screaming in my head “kiss me”. When you finally turned to face me, you just stared at me and smiled, still holding my hand, and then you asked if it’d be okay if you kissed me. I answered with a desperate “yes” that sounded far more pathetic than I like to admit. To my own surprise, I let my body take charge. Without even thinking, I dropped your hand and immediately grabbed for you. One hand on your chest and the other on the side of your face. Our first kiss was not soft and timid like you may have expected. In fact, I felt I may have surprised you. I certainly surprised myself. Our first kiss was fervent and laced with aching desire. At least, that’s how it was for me. And it didn’t take long for me to invite you to my bedroom.
Neither of us were prepared, so we didn’t have sex that night, which was okay. Once we were in the bedroom, I began to feel overwhelmed. But you were so patient and reassuring. When we did finally have sex for the first time, it was absolutely incredible. I never told you this, but it was possibly the most intense sexual experience I've had in my life, thus far, and it was very emotionally charged, for me. You were the first person I’d been with in five years. Up until then, I had wondered if I’d ever be capable of being intimate with someone, again. But I trusted you implicitly. Effortlessly. You made me feel so safe. Before every kiss, before every touch, you made sure to ask me if it was okay. If I wanted to stop at any moment, I knew I could speak up without fear of any form of retaliation or passive aggressive behavior. But I didn’t want to stop. I wanted you; all of you. I wanted us. And God, how beautiful you made me feel even though I was so intensely insecure about my body. You made sure I was comfortable. Comfortable with myself; comfortable with you. You took your time with everything you did. The sensation of it all was overwhelming in the best way possible. The sensation of you was almost more than I could stand. To be completely honest, it felt like losing my virginity, all over again. You were so patient and understanding. So caring and passionate. And from that moment on, you had me wrapped around your finger; just where you wanted me.
2023.05.30 05:08 autumnNOTamber I Need To Talk About Kevin Pt. 1
If I were to be fully honest with myself, I knew we would be forever, or we’d end in disaster. I think a part of you may have felt that, too. So why could we never meet each other in the middle. Perhaps, we were subconsciously unwilling to do so. From the moment we met, we were living on opposite ends of the spectrum. You were finding yourself and wanted freedom; I had been finding myself within my freedom but was now ready for partnership. And, truth be told, I was lonely. I think it was excruciatingly hard to admit the level of my own loneliness as I equated it to weakness within myself. I love being alone. I thrive in an environment where I have freedom and room to breathe. I’m fiercely independent and I take pride in that. But I’m still just a person and I must recognize the toll it takes on my spirit and, on my soul, to be so secluded. Having chosen to stay single and celibate for 5 years to work on myself and my life and my goals, changed my brain chemistry. And I would do it over and over again if I had to. While I learned invaluable lessons on my own inner strength and perseverance, I severely neglected the raw, emotional, intimate, creative, feminine being that is so deeply, me. I was starting to lose myself. The blatant lack of figures in my life was steadily becoming more than I could bear. The unbearable weight of nothing at all creates a whole new ache. So, there it is. I was lonely. Lonelier than I can describe. And then you showed up.
I have to say, I’ve developed a very toxic, on again/ off again relationship with dating apps. I have a habit of creating a profile and deleting it within 24 hours. There’s something slightly addicting to the extreme high and low of it all. I’ll go from feeling wildly confident and hopeful with a few matches and dozens upon dozens of people who like my profile, to quick disillusionment with every uninspired response from potential prospects. Perhaps this is what it’s like to have a gambling addiction. Every time I create a new profile, I’m buzzing with excitement that maybe, just maybe, this time I’ll meet “the one”. And even though the outcome is always a letdown, the thrill of the “what if”, alone, is enough to keep me coming back for more. The dopamine of maybes. And so, on this Thanksgiving night, when good food and quality family time should have been enough, Bumble was calling my name.
I made a profile. I even paid for the month-long subscription. This was a way to force myself to actually give it a shot instead of bowing out in the first 48. Can’t just delete the profile when I’ve literally invested in it. But I can’t deny that it did come with benefits. One of the incentives to get you to pay for their premium subscription is that it allows you to see everyone who has liked your profile without having to match with them first. I mean who doesn’t want to see that? It’s this particular perk that made it possible for our paths (profiles) to cross, in the first place.
So, how is it that my willingness to throw away $50 on this night, somehow led us straight into each other’s lives? If I hadn’t seen that you liked my profile, I never would have swiped right on you. And it’s not for any reason you may be thinking. While I was scrolling through to see who was seemingly interested in little ole me, I saw your picture. I was instantly intrigued. You stood out. Handsome, stylish, a former fellow Paul Mitchell Future Professional. As surface level as a profile is, you seemed like a very interesting person; someone infinitely cooler than me and you certainly didn’t appear to have a hard time finding someone to take the spot next to you. If I hadn’t seen that you liked my profile, I would have just swiped left thinking there was no way someone like you would be interested in someone like me. Another missed connection, lost to the void of the internet because of my own insecurity. But not on this night. Because on this night, I threw caution and fifty bucks to the wind, and we matched, and I messaged you and you messaged back.
The small talk was easy with you. You were sweet and charming. Very quickly our small talk turned into essays upon essays of messages, and it only got better once I gave you, my number. From sunup to far past sundown, we were in constant communication, and I looked forward to every text. It seemed like you were truly interested in getting to know everything about me and I assure you, I was truly interested in getting to know all about you. You really were a breath of fresh air. It hadn’t been easy to find someone I could chat with like that, for quite some time. And it was thrilling. It was refreshing. It was new. I felt seen. I felt heard. For the first time in such an agonizingly long time, I saw possibility. I remember thinking to myself that even if this didn’t pan out in a romantic sense, I at least had found an amazing new friend. Someone new and beautiful to be a part of my life.
Even though we had been hitting it off right from the jump and even though I had been so taken with you, I had to do my due diligence. As a single woman and single mother with a lot to lose, anytime someone new comes into my life, it’s always a good idea to know who I’m speaking with. Personally, I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to do a little digging when someone new enters their life. You can call it paranoia, but I just call it safety.
First, I did what anyone would do, and I searched social media. No Facebook and I couldn’t find an Instagram with your first and last name. Just your Snapchat as it was listed on your Bumble profile. So, then I tried google. It’s truly scary how much you can find on someone with very basic information. In a couple of searches, I found your middle name. I know this sounds like stalker territory, but the only reason I even wanted to know your full name was so I could search a particular state website. For anyone’s protection, I’d recommend it. So, I did. Honestly, I thought I was just wasting my time and being overly cautious, but in a couple of clicks, there it was. Your torrid past laid out in front of me. It scared me. Terrified me. I’ll even admit that I cried in frustration when I found it all. I cried because it just solidified what I had already been feeling; you were too good to be true. I sat with this information for a while and eventually decided, against any instinct inside of me, to still give it a chance. Give you a chance.
Finally, you asked me out. It wasn’t a typical date, but it was an easy way to meet you in person for the first time. To say I was nervous was a vast understatement, but I was also just as giddy. At this point, I’d damn near forgotten the fluttery rush of pending first impressions and I rode the high all day long. Instead of going out to dinner and a movie, you came over to my house for dinner and a root touch up. When I got the “I’m here” text, I’m pretty sure my soul left my body. I never asked you how you felt the day leading up to our meeting. Were you as nervous as I was? I like to think and hope that our energies were vibrating on the same frequencies, that day, but I may have been the only one so hopeful. When I saw you in person the first time, I thought you were just as handsome, if not more, standing in the light of my front porch. Admittedly, most of my nervousness stemmed from the thought that you might have been disappointed when you saw me in person. Perhaps, you were, but if that were the case, you hid your disenchantment, well.
I cooked spaghetti that night. You ate two bowls. You kept telling me how delicious it was and even though it took absolutely nothing for me to prepare the meal, I was charmed by how grateful you were. After we ate, I did your hair. I picked out a funny podcast to listen to in the background. I thought that if conversation died, we could listen in unawkward silence and hopefully you’d think it was as funny as I did. To my surprise, the conversation didn’t die at all. In fact, us talking over the podcast just became distracting, so I turned it off, altogether. Eventually, it was time to wash your hair. To make up for the fact that you had to be bent over in an extremely uncomfortable way, I attempted to give you a decent scalp massage while I shampooed. Because of the odd angle, it was a clumsy attempt, at best, but I still hoped you liked it. It’s funny to me that the whole time I couldn’t help but think how oddly intimate it was washing your hair in my kitchen sink. But I think I’m just weird. After that, we moved to the couch. You were sitting on one end, and I was sitting on the other. No music, no podcasts, no tv, just us. It seemed like we discussed anything and everything. If there was a lull in the conversation, you’d just stare at me with a soft smile and assured me that this silence was peaceful, and you were enjoying it. But, every time I met your gaze, I could feel myself blushing, so I grabbed my blanket and kept holding it up to my face. You said I was being cute. Even long after this first meeting, I’d always feel so exposed, so vulnerable, when I’d catch you looking at me like that. Despite my bashfulness, I was more comfortable with you than I’d been with another person in a very long time. I even had the courage to bring up my sleuthing and the things I had found. You took it very well and even thanked me for my honesty. You told me everything, sparing no details. You took ownership of the things you had done and placed blame where you felt was deserved. It was matter of fact with an edge of remorse. I commended your vulnerability and willingness to share. I left the conversation feeling very pleased with my decision to hear you out. And I was proud of your seemingly incredible amount of self-awareness.
Eventually, I had to cut our night off. I had to work the next day and it was nearly one in the morning. You didn’t try to kiss me. You gave me a hug before you left and assured me that you had a great night. I thought, for sure, you weren’t interested after meeting me in person, but I was just so happy that I’d have you as a friend, that any bruise on my ego wasn’t even felt. Afterwards, our texts continued as normal, and it would only be a few short days before you came over again.
The next time you came over, any doubt that I may have had about you being attracted to me or being interested, was put to rest. This time we watched movies. Or maybe just a show I had on. I can’t remember. My brain was too fixated on how closely you were sitting next to me. How close your hand was getting to mine. How our pinkies finally brushed against each other. How you gained the courage, for both of us, to grab my hand and I was so thankful you did. Eventually, the movie or show ended, and we started talking. The nervousness and building tension were palpable. I was screaming in my head “kiss me”. When you finally turned to face me, you just stared at me and smiled, still holding my hand, and then you asked if it’d be okay if you kissed me. I answered with a desperate “yes” that sounded far more pathetic than I like to admit. To my own surprise, I let my body take charge. Without even thinking, I dropped your hand and immediately grabbed for you. One hand on your chest and the other on the side of your face. Our first kiss was not soft and timid like you may have expected. In fact, I felt I may have surprised you. I certainly surprised myself. Our first kiss was fervent and laced with aching desire. At least, that’s how it was for me. And it didn’t take long for me to invite you to my bedroom.
Neither of us were prepared, so we didn’t have sex that night, which was okay. Once we were in the bedroom, I began to feel overwhelmed. But you were so patient and reassuring. When we did finally have sex for the first time, it was absolutely incredible. I never told you this, but it was possibly the most intense sexual experience I've had in my life, thus far, and it was very emotionally charged, for me. You were the first person I’d been with in five years. Up until then, I had wondered if I’d ever be capable of being intimate with someone, again. But I trusted you implicitly. Effortlessly. You made me feel so safe. Before every kiss, before every touch, you made sure to ask me if it was okay. If I wanted to stop at any moment, I knew I could speak up without fear of any form of retaliation or passive aggressive behavior. But I didn’t want to stop. I wanted you; all of you. I wanted us. And God, how beautiful you made me feel even though I was so intensely insecure about my body. You made sure I was comfortable. Comfortable with myself; comfortable with you. You took your time with everything you did. The sensation of it all was overwhelming in the best way possible. The sensation of you was almost more than I could stand. To be completely honest, it felt like losing my virginity, all over again. You were so patient and understanding. So caring and passionate. And from that moment on, you had me wrapped around your finger; just where you wanted me.
submitted by autumnNOTamber to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
I have to say, I’ve developed a very toxic, on again/ off again relationship with dating apps. I have a habit of creating a profile and deleting it within 24 hours. There’s something slightly addicting to the extreme high and low of it all. I’ll go from feeling wildly confident and hopeful with a few matches and dozens upon dozens of people who like my profile, to quick disillusionment with every uninspired response from potential prospects. Perhaps this is what it’s like to have a gambling addiction. Every time I create a new profile, I’m buzzing with excitement that maybe, just maybe, this time I’ll meet “the one”. And even though the outcome is always a letdown, the thrill of the “what if”, alone, is enough to keep me coming back for more. The dopamine of maybes. And so, on this Thanksgiving night, when good food and quality family time should have been enough, Bumble was calling my name.
I made a profile. I even paid for the month-long subscription. This was a way to force myself to actually give it a shot instead of bowing out in the first 48. Can’t just delete the profile when I’ve literally invested in it. But I can’t deny that it did come with benefits. One of the incentives to get you to pay for their premium subscription is that it allows you to see everyone who has liked your profile without having to match with them first. I mean who doesn’t want to see that? It’s this particular perk that made it possible for our paths (profiles) to cross, in the first place.
So, how is it that my willingness to throw away $50 on this night, somehow led us straight into each other’s lives? If I hadn’t seen that you liked my profile, I never would have swiped right on you. And it’s not for any reason you may be thinking. While I was scrolling through to see who was seemingly interested in little ole me, I saw your picture. I was instantly intrigued. You stood out. Handsome, stylish, a former fellow Paul Mitchell Future Professional. As surface level as a profile is, you seemed like a very interesting person; someone infinitely cooler than me and you certainly didn’t appear to have a hard time finding someone to take the spot next to you. If I hadn’t seen that you liked my profile, I would have just swiped left thinking there was no way someone like you would be interested in someone like me. Another missed connection, lost to the void of the internet because of my own insecurity. But not on this night. Because on this night, I threw caution and fifty bucks to the wind, and we matched, and I messaged you and you messaged back.
The small talk was easy with you. You were sweet and charming. Very quickly our small talk turned into essays upon essays of messages, and it only got better once I gave you, my number. From sunup to far past sundown, we were in constant communication, and I looked forward to every text. It seemed like you were truly interested in getting to know everything about me and I assure you, I was truly interested in getting to know all about you. You really were a breath of fresh air. It hadn’t been easy to find someone I could chat with like that, for quite some time. And it was thrilling. It was refreshing. It was new. I felt seen. I felt heard. For the first time in such an agonizingly long time, I saw possibility. I remember thinking to myself that even if this didn’t pan out in a romantic sense, I at least had found an amazing new friend. Someone new and beautiful to be a part of my life.
Even though we had been hitting it off right from the jump and even though I had been so taken with you, I had to do my due diligence. As a single woman and single mother with a lot to lose, anytime someone new comes into my life, it’s always a good idea to know who I’m speaking with. Personally, I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to do a little digging when someone new enters their life. You can call it paranoia, but I just call it safety.
First, I did what anyone would do, and I searched social media. No Facebook and I couldn’t find an Instagram with your first and last name. Just your Snapchat as it was listed on your Bumble profile. So, then I tried google. It’s truly scary how much you can find on someone with very basic information. In a couple of searches, I found your middle name. I know this sounds like stalker territory, but the only reason I even wanted to know your full name was so I could search a particular state website. For anyone’s protection, I’d recommend it. So, I did. Honestly, I thought I was just wasting my time and being overly cautious, but in a couple of clicks, there it was. Your torrid past laid out in front of me. It scared me. Terrified me. I’ll even admit that I cried in frustration when I found it all. I cried because it just solidified what I had already been feeling; you were too good to be true. I sat with this information for a while and eventually decided, against any instinct inside of me, to still give it a chance. Give you a chance.
Finally, you asked me out. It wasn’t a typical date, but it was an easy way to meet you in person for the first time. To say I was nervous was a vast understatement, but I was also just as giddy. At this point, I’d damn near forgotten the fluttery rush of pending first impressions and I rode the high all day long. Instead of going out to dinner and a movie, you came over to my house for dinner and a root touch up. When I got the “I’m here” text, I’m pretty sure my soul left my body. I never asked you how you felt the day leading up to our meeting. Were you as nervous as I was? I like to think and hope that our energies were vibrating on the same frequencies, that day, but I may have been the only one so hopeful. When I saw you in person the first time, I thought you were just as handsome, if not more, standing in the light of my front porch. Admittedly, most of my nervousness stemmed from the thought that you might have been disappointed when you saw me in person. Perhaps, you were, but if that were the case, you hid your disenchantment, well.
I cooked spaghetti that night. You ate two bowls. You kept telling me how delicious it was and even though it took absolutely nothing for me to prepare the meal, I was charmed by how grateful you were. After we ate, I did your hair. I picked out a funny podcast to listen to in the background. I thought that if conversation died, we could listen in unawkward silence and hopefully you’d think it was as funny as I did. To my surprise, the conversation didn’t die at all. In fact, us talking over the podcast just became distracting, so I turned it off, altogether. Eventually, it was time to wash your hair. To make up for the fact that you had to be bent over in an extremely uncomfortable way, I attempted to give you a decent scalp massage while I shampooed. Because of the odd angle, it was a clumsy attempt, at best, but I still hoped you liked it. It’s funny to me that the whole time I couldn’t help but think how oddly intimate it was washing your hair in my kitchen sink. But I think I’m just weird. After that, we moved to the couch. You were sitting on one end, and I was sitting on the other. No music, no podcasts, no tv, just us. It seemed like we discussed anything and everything. If there was a lull in the conversation, you’d just stare at me with a soft smile and assured me that this silence was peaceful, and you were enjoying it. But, every time I met your gaze, I could feel myself blushing, so I grabbed my blanket and kept holding it up to my face. You said I was being cute. Even long after this first meeting, I’d always feel so exposed, so vulnerable, when I’d catch you looking at me like that. Despite my bashfulness, I was more comfortable with you than I’d been with another person in a very long time. I even had the courage to bring up my sleuthing and the things I had found. You took it very well and even thanked me for my honesty. You told me everything, sparing no details. You took ownership of the things you had done and placed blame where you felt was deserved. It was matter of fact with an edge of remorse. I commended your vulnerability and willingness to share. I left the conversation feeling very pleased with my decision to hear you out. And I was proud of your seemingly incredible amount of self-awareness.
Eventually, I had to cut our night off. I had to work the next day and it was nearly one in the morning. You didn’t try to kiss me. You gave me a hug before you left and assured me that you had a great night. I thought, for sure, you weren’t interested after meeting me in person, but I was just so happy that I’d have you as a friend, that any bruise on my ego wasn’t even felt. Afterwards, our texts continued as normal, and it would only be a few short days before you came over again.
The next time you came over, any doubt that I may have had about you being attracted to me or being interested, was put to rest. This time we watched movies. Or maybe just a show I had on. I can’t remember. My brain was too fixated on how closely you were sitting next to me. How close your hand was getting to mine. How our pinkies finally brushed against each other. How you gained the courage, for both of us, to grab my hand and I was so thankful you did. Eventually, the movie or show ended, and we started talking. The nervousness and building tension were palpable. I was screaming in my head “kiss me”. When you finally turned to face me, you just stared at me and smiled, still holding my hand, and then you asked if it’d be okay if you kissed me. I answered with a desperate “yes” that sounded far more pathetic than I like to admit. To my own surprise, I let my body take charge. Without even thinking, I dropped your hand and immediately grabbed for you. One hand on your chest and the other on the side of your face. Our first kiss was not soft and timid like you may have expected. In fact, I felt I may have surprised you. I certainly surprised myself. Our first kiss was fervent and laced with aching desire. At least, that’s how it was for me. And it didn’t take long for me to invite you to my bedroom.
Neither of us were prepared, so we didn’t have sex that night, which was okay. Once we were in the bedroom, I began to feel overwhelmed. But you were so patient and reassuring. When we did finally have sex for the first time, it was absolutely incredible. I never told you this, but it was possibly the most intense sexual experience I've had in my life, thus far, and it was very emotionally charged, for me. You were the first person I’d been with in five years. Up until then, I had wondered if I’d ever be capable of being intimate with someone, again. But I trusted you implicitly. Effortlessly. You made me feel so safe. Before every kiss, before every touch, you made sure to ask me if it was okay. If I wanted to stop at any moment, I knew I could speak up without fear of any form of retaliation or passive aggressive behavior. But I didn’t want to stop. I wanted you; all of you. I wanted us. And God, how beautiful you made me feel even though I was so intensely insecure about my body. You made sure I was comfortable. Comfortable with myself; comfortable with you. You took your time with everything you did. The sensation of it all was overwhelming in the best way possible. The sensation of you was almost more than I could stand. To be completely honest, it felt like losing my virginity, all over again. You were so patient and understanding. So caring and passionate. And from that moment on, you had me wrapped around your finger; just where you wanted me.
2023.05.30 04:49 luckyscars Help!
I am a beginner at this so sorry if it’s a stupid question…
I’ve been growing tomatoes in one of those twelve pod hydro sets started seeds in April. As of right now I have twelve big plants. So big in fact they consistently grow over the LeD “lid” and their main light source. We have been trimming them back a couple times a week and they do seem to be thickening out but no flowers yet. They grow like wildfire. A couple of inches a day. So right now they’re about ten inches above the limit and would probably keep going up.
My wife says I screwed up by getting non determinate tomato seeds. Is that the issue? How do fix this so we actually get a harvest? Keep trimming back or let them go?
Please help. I love tomatoes :)
submitted by luckyscars to Hydroponics [link] [comments]
I’ve been growing tomatoes in one of those twelve pod hydro sets started seeds in April. As of right now I have twelve big plants. So big in fact they consistently grow over the LeD “lid” and their main light source. We have been trimming them back a couple times a week and they do seem to be thickening out but no flowers yet. They grow like wildfire. A couple of inches a day. So right now they’re about ten inches above the limit and would probably keep going up.
My wife says I screwed up by getting non determinate tomato seeds. Is that the issue? How do fix this so we actually get a harvest? Keep trimming back or let them go?
Please help. I love tomatoes :)
2023.05.30 04:38 burgerbob- i got this light for my plants and i rather not buy more shit will it work for screen printing?
 | submitted by burgerbob- to SCREENPRINTING [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 04:08 ShihTzusrule-12 SOMEONE FROM MY PAST COULD RUIN MY LIFE
Hi…
I’m new to reddit. So, I guess a little about me: F/34/LA.
I’m not really sure how to start this. Or what I hope to get out of it. Help, I guess. And I know it’s a shot in the dark but I’m just hoping that maybe there’s someone out there who’s dealt with something similar? It sounds insane to talk about out loud to anyone other than close friends or family and as for my close friends and family… well, for reasons that will become apparent let’s just say I can’t really talk to my friends and family about this. So if you have any advice I’d really appreciate it because I’m getting pretty fucking desperate at this point. And I don’t have a lot of time left before she comes to visit.
She. Sorry. I mean Melissa. At least, I thought that was her name. Now I’m not so sure.
Two weeks ago, I was literally living my best life. Not how people say it as a joke. Like, actually. I’d had some tumultuous years in my late teens/early 20’s but those ups and downs were all behind me. I’d accepted some hard truths and settled into a life that I’d worked hard for. My on-off boyfriend of 13 years finally popped the question (if I’d had it my way we would’ve been married a decade ago). So I was just enjoying being newly engaged. My best friend flew us out to Paris to celebrate and start looking at dresses in some boutiques there. Life was really, really good.
So yeah, about my friend. My best friend is a pretty huge actress. She’s like super well known. In fact, whoever’s reading this, I’m actually positive you’ve either seen her work or at the very least know her name/face. She and I, like my now-fiancé and I, met in college. We were both majoring in journalism but actually never met in the journalism school. We met in acting class. See my dream was always to be a super-famous actress. It sounds insane now but at the time that was genuinely all I cared about. That dream was legitimately what got me out of bed in the morning. I always saw journalism as my back-up, but even then, I thought my back-up was like being a news anchor or hosting (like Andy Cohen or Maria Menounos vibes). I never thought I’d work behind the camera (which I do now, and I love!). Actually if you went back in time and told 18-year-old me that 34-year-old me would be a line producer on a local news show, 18-year-old me would have probably been suicidal. But anyways. My best friend and I hit it off in acting class freshman year and pretty quickly became inseparable. In a lot of ways, her friendship has saved my life over the years. She means a lot to me.
But that said, it wasn’t always easy being her friend, when we had the same goals and she had such a leg up. She comes from a family that let’s just say has a lot of resources (without going into detail, to protect hemy identity) and her family had no problem throwing those resources behind her to make it all happen for her in Hollywood. In fact, she ended up dropping out Sophomore year. Staying at school didn’t make sense. She was just getting too many role offers.
So, yeah. That was hard. I’d taken out massive loans and my parents didn’t have any resources to throw behind me. I was on my own. And by best friend was smooth sailing from role to role, signing with major talent agencies and being spotted with major Hollywood heartthrobs. She didn’t know it, and I’m not proud of it, in fact I’m super embarrassed about it now, but for a while there, I was pretty much extremely, seriously jealous to a dark/unhealthy extent.
So anyways.
My best friend and I were walking in to a Parisian boutique to try on a few dresses when I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize.
“Hey girl! I just heard the news, so excited for you and (my fiancé). Lots of love xxx”
I’d gotten so many congratulations texts in the week since I’d gotten engaged, I didn’t think anything of it. I was just a bit embarrassed to not have the number saved – I have a bad habit of not saving numbers – but nevertheless just responded: “hey! Thank you so much! I actually just got a new phone and not all of my contacts synced 🙈whose number is this?” The typing bubble popped up… then vanished. Then popped up…
“It’s Melissa! From (university’s name).” I instantly got a pit in my stomach.
Melissa was someone who I’d very intentionally left in the past.
Melissa and I were also friends from school. But she’d entered my life during a really dark chapter and to be honest, when I think of her, it’s hard not to picture her as the other shoe dropping.
When my best friend first left university for Hollywood, I’d gone through a period of intense loneliness. At the same time, my boyfriend (now fiancé) and I had hit a rough patch – stupid shit, just juvenile 19-year-old stuff. I was wondering if our relationship had any future at all, really, or if I wanted more out of a partnerelationship. I’d never felt so alone.
And then I met Melissa.
She was extremely charismatic, that’s what first struck me about her. And she listened. As we got to know each other, that’s what a big takeaway was for me. She was the first person in my life who really, truly listened and not only that, wanted to know the answers to the questions she was asking me. And more than that, she never forgot anything. We’d lay out on the quad for hours, her just letting me vent about my best friend, my boyfriend, my parents, my insanely high-achieving brother. She was fascinated. And the way she looked at me, it was like I was all that mattered to her. Like I was her world.
I know that sounds weird. But for someone like me, who’d never been that important to anyone, it was actually really nice.
The thing is, I think I told her a little too much.
See, my boyfriend had really been getting on my nerves (for the reasons above) at that point in my life. Plus, I don’t know, I was young and stupid. Let’s chalk it up to that. But anyways. I’m not proud of what I did. But I did it. I cheated on him with… let’s call him BRAD* (*obviously changed the name, not taking the chance that someone who knows us will find this and connect the dots). Brad was just some frat guy I met at a party and honestly, I don’t really know what I was thinking, but we ended up having sex. At first it was just like, a one-time-thing at a party, we were both kind of drunk, whatever. But then it became a way I could somehow sabotage my relationship and fuck up my own life, so of course I kept doing it. I probably cheated on my (now fiancé) upwards of 30 times over the course of six months with Brad. And the worse part is, a few years later, Brad and I did it again (during my quarter-life crisis). Of course, my fiance to this day has no idea. Yes, we’d dated other people during the times we were “off” again, but we were very much “on” during the times I’d slept with Brad and honestly, on some level I was fucking Brad because I was just so angry with my fiancé (at that time) and wanted to hurt him.
Melissa always lent an ear to my relationship problems and relished in the stories about Brad. She thought the whole thing was just so scandalous and delicious and asked for every last detail. Of course, I gave them. I was very much with my boyfriend (now fiancé) and my best friend was off on location too busy to respond to my texts let alone talk for hours, so at this point in my life Melissa was the one person in the whole world I could be honest with.
I also told her a lot, I mean a fucking lot of personal details about my best friend, that she’d shared in confidence. I figured Melissa was like a vault. I’d never tried therapy at that time, but now I know that I was basically treating Melissa like a therapist, as if she’d signed an NDA. I told her about my best friend’s traumas, her ED, her parent’s divorce, private details of her dad’s quirky habits and insane romantic life, her innermost secrets, everything. My dumb 19-year-old ass told myself I was only telling Melissa this as a way to process it all and help me be there for my best friend. And honestly, it did feel good talking it out with someone because my best friend’s lavish upbringing was just sooo foreign to me at the time so Melissa and my gossip-sessions were a way of processing it. But the truth is that I was doing this out of like, some deep dark void inside me. Jealousy. Anger. Disdain. You name it. And whenever I was with Melissa, I felt this darkness growing, like every negative emotion I’d ever had was festering inside and all my insides were turning black like coal.
Whew. Okay. So that’s just the tip of the ice berg, but it’s enough.
So, you can see why, while sitting in that boutique with my best friend, who’d literally flown me out first class to fucking PARIS, FRANCE and was going to be the maid of honor in my wedding to MY FIANCE, I was extremely disturbed to get a text from Melissa.
I was so freaked out I actually dropped my phone. My best friend rushed to pick it up so I wouldn’t spill my complimentary champagne flute, but I beat her to it. She eyed me, I was definitely acting weird, but after a moment we just went back to looking at dresses. I spent about 20 minutes absentmindedly raving about dresses (while secretly trying to not have a heart attack) before my phone dinged again.
“(My name)? Are you there?”
I was actually starting to feel ill at this point. Because there was a lot more I’d told Melissa during our friendship, things that could hurt me, my family, my friends, my relationships. Basically, Melissa was like the one person on earth who had all the ammo she needed to ruin my life. And normally, I’d be like – who cares? So what? But the thing is, I know she’d do it. I can’t tell you how I know. It’s just a feeling I got from her towards the end of our friendship, before I’d started to distance myself. It was something in her eyes that wasn’t quite right. It was the frothy vigor with which she’d try to get me to open up to her, digging deeper and deeper into the weird web of traumas, lies, and secrets. Mine and everyone else’s.
She’d really revealed herself towards the end with all the times she’d pushed just a little too hard for info. I wasn’t sure what she’d do with it – or why – but I got that feeling in my gut that something wasn’t right. Plus, by the end of our friendship, my best friend’s schedule had calmed down and she was back in my life full-time. And my boyfriend and I had worked through our issues and were actually really happy. So in the end, Melissa became… baggage. Scary baggage. A liability, actually. Something I had to cut loose. So I did.
My phone dinged. Melissa, again. “Hello?”
My best friend looked over, laughing about how popular I was. “getting engaged’ll do that to you, I guess.” I tried to laugh, to look calm, but I was not calm.
I figured I’d bite the bullet. “Hey, (best friend), do you remember Melissa? From school?” My best friend raised an eyebrow quizzically. “Melissa? Was she a pi phi?” No. Melissa hated sororities. After a few more half-hearted guesses, my best friend shrugged. She didn’t know any Melissa from school.
That was weird. But I figured, she dropped out sophomore year, before I really started hanging out with Melissa. It made enough sense.
But later, I asked my fiancé if he remembered Melissa from school. Sure, it’s been a decade or so, but he has a pretty stellar memory. But even he was drawing a blank. Nope. No Melissa.
This is where it started to get weird.
I texted a few friends asking if they knew Melissa from school’s address for a save-the-date (it occurred to me I couldn’t recall Melissa’s last name, which for some reason gave me chills). Literally every single one was like “who?” Nobody could seem to remember her.
The weird thing was, I could recall her like I’d just seen her yesterday. I could close my eyes now and see her like she was standing a foot away from me. Tall, skinny, blonde with dark eyes and a button nose. She walked a little funny, with a limp that she said came from a childhood accident, she’d been hit by a car but didn’t like to talk about it. And this intensity behind her eyes. When I first met her it wasn’t there, she was actually pretty childlike with big smile and this goofy-silly-fun energy about her, like a twelve-year-old in a twenty-year-old’s body. But as we got deeper into our weird-intense-co-dependent and semi-fucked up friendship she’d gotten… darker. By the end, I felt unnerved just being in her presence. Like I had to take a shower after seeing her, almost, it’s hard to put into words, she was just bad vibes. But what was weird about it was when I tried to shake her off and cut her loose, it was easy. Like one day she was just poof, gone out of my life. I can’t say I was very sad about it, either.
DING-DING-DING.
I was trying to enjoy dinner in Paris with my fiancé but my phone kept blowing up. It was Melissa again. And again. And again. Her most recent text read: “I know you’re busy but I need a favor.”
I turned my phone’s ringer off. But I couldn’t shake the paranoia and anxiety. How did she know I was busy? Did she mean in life, or literally right now, because I was at dinner with my fiancé? Did she know I was at dinner with him? How could she?
Later that night I figured I had to respond to her, or I’d run the risk of pissing her off. And IDK if you’ve ever been in a situation with someone who could seriously fuck up your life and relationships but you don’t want to piss them off.
I typed: “Hey, Melissa! So good to hear from you! Sorry for the delayed response, I’m out of the country celebrating my engagement. I’ll be back on my phone soon.”
Melissa responded immediately, despite the insane time difference. I wasn’t sure where she was living these days, but it must be somewhere in a vastly different time zone, and wherever she was, it had to be an odd hour at that time.
“We need to speak in person.”
For some reason, a chill ran down my spine. The thought of seeing her face-to-face after all these years… well, weirdly, I felt like I’d seen her face to face recently. Like, in my dreams. When I closed my eyes. She felt near, in a weird way that I couldn’t quite explain.
I was losing patience but still wanted… or needed, to tread lightly. I typed: “what’s this about?”
“Remember how I was hit by a car?”
This whole thing just kept getting weirder and creepier.
“yes.”
“It has to do with that.”
What did she want from me? And why was she being so roundabout? She wasn’t threatening me – again, she didn’t have to, the threat was implied – but still. I couldn’t quite figure it out.
I told her I’d see her first thing when I got back from Paris. I get back from Paris tomorrow. And I’m feeling… not great about it, to be honest.
So yeah. I don’t know what to do. And I’m freaking out.
ISO: advice for how to handle this? How to just somehow avoid her and/or not panic about my entire life being ruined?
Thanks in advance.
submitted by ShihTzusrule-12 to nosleep [link] [comments]
I’m new to reddit. So, I guess a little about me: F/34/LA.
I’m not really sure how to start this. Or what I hope to get out of it. Help, I guess. And I know it’s a shot in the dark but I’m just hoping that maybe there’s someone out there who’s dealt with something similar? It sounds insane to talk about out loud to anyone other than close friends or family and as for my close friends and family… well, for reasons that will become apparent let’s just say I can’t really talk to my friends and family about this. So if you have any advice I’d really appreciate it because I’m getting pretty fucking desperate at this point. And I don’t have a lot of time left before she comes to visit.
She. Sorry. I mean Melissa. At least, I thought that was her name. Now I’m not so sure.
Two weeks ago, I was literally living my best life. Not how people say it as a joke. Like, actually. I’d had some tumultuous years in my late teens/early 20’s but those ups and downs were all behind me. I’d accepted some hard truths and settled into a life that I’d worked hard for. My on-off boyfriend of 13 years finally popped the question (if I’d had it my way we would’ve been married a decade ago). So I was just enjoying being newly engaged. My best friend flew us out to Paris to celebrate and start looking at dresses in some boutiques there. Life was really, really good.
So yeah, about my friend. My best friend is a pretty huge actress. She’s like super well known. In fact, whoever’s reading this, I’m actually positive you’ve either seen her work or at the very least know her name/face. She and I, like my now-fiancé and I, met in college. We were both majoring in journalism but actually never met in the journalism school. We met in acting class. See my dream was always to be a super-famous actress. It sounds insane now but at the time that was genuinely all I cared about. That dream was legitimately what got me out of bed in the morning. I always saw journalism as my back-up, but even then, I thought my back-up was like being a news anchor or hosting (like Andy Cohen or Maria Menounos vibes). I never thought I’d work behind the camera (which I do now, and I love!). Actually if you went back in time and told 18-year-old me that 34-year-old me would be a line producer on a local news show, 18-year-old me would have probably been suicidal. But anyways. My best friend and I hit it off in acting class freshman year and pretty quickly became inseparable. In a lot of ways, her friendship has saved my life over the years. She means a lot to me.
But that said, it wasn’t always easy being her friend, when we had the same goals and she had such a leg up. She comes from a family that let’s just say has a lot of resources (without going into detail, to protect hemy identity) and her family had no problem throwing those resources behind her to make it all happen for her in Hollywood. In fact, she ended up dropping out Sophomore year. Staying at school didn’t make sense. She was just getting too many role offers.
So, yeah. That was hard. I’d taken out massive loans and my parents didn’t have any resources to throw behind me. I was on my own. And by best friend was smooth sailing from role to role, signing with major talent agencies and being spotted with major Hollywood heartthrobs. She didn’t know it, and I’m not proud of it, in fact I’m super embarrassed about it now, but for a while there, I was pretty much extremely, seriously jealous to a dark/unhealthy extent.
So anyways.
My best friend and I were walking in to a Parisian boutique to try on a few dresses when I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize.
“Hey girl! I just heard the news, so excited for you and (my fiancé). Lots of love xxx”
I’d gotten so many congratulations texts in the week since I’d gotten engaged, I didn’t think anything of it. I was just a bit embarrassed to not have the number saved – I have a bad habit of not saving numbers – but nevertheless just responded: “hey! Thank you so much! I actually just got a new phone and not all of my contacts synced 🙈whose number is this?” The typing bubble popped up… then vanished. Then popped up…
“It’s Melissa! From (university’s name).” I instantly got a pit in my stomach.
Melissa was someone who I’d very intentionally left in the past.
Melissa and I were also friends from school. But she’d entered my life during a really dark chapter and to be honest, when I think of her, it’s hard not to picture her as the other shoe dropping.
When my best friend first left university for Hollywood, I’d gone through a period of intense loneliness. At the same time, my boyfriend (now fiancé) and I had hit a rough patch – stupid shit, just juvenile 19-year-old stuff. I was wondering if our relationship had any future at all, really, or if I wanted more out of a partnerelationship. I’d never felt so alone.
And then I met Melissa.
She was extremely charismatic, that’s what first struck me about her. And she listened. As we got to know each other, that’s what a big takeaway was for me. She was the first person in my life who really, truly listened and not only that, wanted to know the answers to the questions she was asking me. And more than that, she never forgot anything. We’d lay out on the quad for hours, her just letting me vent about my best friend, my boyfriend, my parents, my insanely high-achieving brother. She was fascinated. And the way she looked at me, it was like I was all that mattered to her. Like I was her world.
I know that sounds weird. But for someone like me, who’d never been that important to anyone, it was actually really nice.
The thing is, I think I told her a little too much.
See, my boyfriend had really been getting on my nerves (for the reasons above) at that point in my life. Plus, I don’t know, I was young and stupid. Let’s chalk it up to that. But anyways. I’m not proud of what I did. But I did it. I cheated on him with… let’s call him BRAD* (*obviously changed the name, not taking the chance that someone who knows us will find this and connect the dots). Brad was just some frat guy I met at a party and honestly, I don’t really know what I was thinking, but we ended up having sex. At first it was just like, a one-time-thing at a party, we were both kind of drunk, whatever. But then it became a way I could somehow sabotage my relationship and fuck up my own life, so of course I kept doing it. I probably cheated on my (now fiancé) upwards of 30 times over the course of six months with Brad. And the worse part is, a few years later, Brad and I did it again (during my quarter-life crisis). Of course, my fiance to this day has no idea. Yes, we’d dated other people during the times we were “off” again, but we were very much “on” during the times I’d slept with Brad and honestly, on some level I was fucking Brad because I was just so angry with my fiancé (at that time) and wanted to hurt him.
Melissa always lent an ear to my relationship problems and relished in the stories about Brad. She thought the whole thing was just so scandalous and delicious and asked for every last detail. Of course, I gave them. I was very much with my boyfriend (now fiancé) and my best friend was off on location too busy to respond to my texts let alone talk for hours, so at this point in my life Melissa was the one person in the whole world I could be honest with.
I also told her a lot, I mean a fucking lot of personal details about my best friend, that she’d shared in confidence. I figured Melissa was like a vault. I’d never tried therapy at that time, but now I know that I was basically treating Melissa like a therapist, as if she’d signed an NDA. I told her about my best friend’s traumas, her ED, her parent’s divorce, private details of her dad’s quirky habits and insane romantic life, her innermost secrets, everything. My dumb 19-year-old ass told myself I was only telling Melissa this as a way to process it all and help me be there for my best friend. And honestly, it did feel good talking it out with someone because my best friend’s lavish upbringing was just sooo foreign to me at the time so Melissa and my gossip-sessions were a way of processing it. But the truth is that I was doing this out of like, some deep dark void inside me. Jealousy. Anger. Disdain. You name it. And whenever I was with Melissa, I felt this darkness growing, like every negative emotion I’d ever had was festering inside and all my insides were turning black like coal.
Whew. Okay. So that’s just the tip of the ice berg, but it’s enough.
So, you can see why, while sitting in that boutique with my best friend, who’d literally flown me out first class to fucking PARIS, FRANCE and was going to be the maid of honor in my wedding to MY FIANCE, I was extremely disturbed to get a text from Melissa.
I was so freaked out I actually dropped my phone. My best friend rushed to pick it up so I wouldn’t spill my complimentary champagne flute, but I beat her to it. She eyed me, I was definitely acting weird, but after a moment we just went back to looking at dresses. I spent about 20 minutes absentmindedly raving about dresses (while secretly trying to not have a heart attack) before my phone dinged again.
“(My name)? Are you there?”
I was actually starting to feel ill at this point. Because there was a lot more I’d told Melissa during our friendship, things that could hurt me, my family, my friends, my relationships. Basically, Melissa was like the one person on earth who had all the ammo she needed to ruin my life. And normally, I’d be like – who cares? So what? But the thing is, I know she’d do it. I can’t tell you how I know. It’s just a feeling I got from her towards the end of our friendship, before I’d started to distance myself. It was something in her eyes that wasn’t quite right. It was the frothy vigor with which she’d try to get me to open up to her, digging deeper and deeper into the weird web of traumas, lies, and secrets. Mine and everyone else’s.
She’d really revealed herself towards the end with all the times she’d pushed just a little too hard for info. I wasn’t sure what she’d do with it – or why – but I got that feeling in my gut that something wasn’t right. Plus, by the end of our friendship, my best friend’s schedule had calmed down and she was back in my life full-time. And my boyfriend and I had worked through our issues and were actually really happy. So in the end, Melissa became… baggage. Scary baggage. A liability, actually. Something I had to cut loose. So I did.
My phone dinged. Melissa, again. “Hello?”
My best friend looked over, laughing about how popular I was. “getting engaged’ll do that to you, I guess.” I tried to laugh, to look calm, but I was not calm.
I figured I’d bite the bullet. “Hey, (best friend), do you remember Melissa? From school?” My best friend raised an eyebrow quizzically. “Melissa? Was she a pi phi?” No. Melissa hated sororities. After a few more half-hearted guesses, my best friend shrugged. She didn’t know any Melissa from school.
That was weird. But I figured, she dropped out sophomore year, before I really started hanging out with Melissa. It made enough sense.
But later, I asked my fiancé if he remembered Melissa from school. Sure, it’s been a decade or so, but he has a pretty stellar memory. But even he was drawing a blank. Nope. No Melissa.
This is where it started to get weird.
I texted a few friends asking if they knew Melissa from school’s address for a save-the-date (it occurred to me I couldn’t recall Melissa’s last name, which for some reason gave me chills). Literally every single one was like “who?” Nobody could seem to remember her.
The weird thing was, I could recall her like I’d just seen her yesterday. I could close my eyes now and see her like she was standing a foot away from me. Tall, skinny, blonde with dark eyes and a button nose. She walked a little funny, with a limp that she said came from a childhood accident, she’d been hit by a car but didn’t like to talk about it. And this intensity behind her eyes. When I first met her it wasn’t there, she was actually pretty childlike with big smile and this goofy-silly-fun energy about her, like a twelve-year-old in a twenty-year-old’s body. But as we got deeper into our weird-intense-co-dependent and semi-fucked up friendship she’d gotten… darker. By the end, I felt unnerved just being in her presence. Like I had to take a shower after seeing her, almost, it’s hard to put into words, she was just bad vibes. But what was weird about it was when I tried to shake her off and cut her loose, it was easy. Like one day she was just poof, gone out of my life. I can’t say I was very sad about it, either.
DING-DING-DING.
I was trying to enjoy dinner in Paris with my fiancé but my phone kept blowing up. It was Melissa again. And again. And again. Her most recent text read: “I know you’re busy but I need a favor.”
I turned my phone’s ringer off. But I couldn’t shake the paranoia and anxiety. How did she know I was busy? Did she mean in life, or literally right now, because I was at dinner with my fiancé? Did she know I was at dinner with him? How could she?
Later that night I figured I had to respond to her, or I’d run the risk of pissing her off. And IDK if you’ve ever been in a situation with someone who could seriously fuck up your life and relationships but you don’t want to piss them off.
I typed: “Hey, Melissa! So good to hear from you! Sorry for the delayed response, I’m out of the country celebrating my engagement. I’ll be back on my phone soon.”
Melissa responded immediately, despite the insane time difference. I wasn’t sure where she was living these days, but it must be somewhere in a vastly different time zone, and wherever she was, it had to be an odd hour at that time.
“We need to speak in person.”
For some reason, a chill ran down my spine. The thought of seeing her face-to-face after all these years… well, weirdly, I felt like I’d seen her face to face recently. Like, in my dreams. When I closed my eyes. She felt near, in a weird way that I couldn’t quite explain.
I was losing patience but still wanted… or needed, to tread lightly. I typed: “what’s this about?”
“Remember how I was hit by a car?”
This whole thing just kept getting weirder and creepier.
“yes.”
“It has to do with that.”
What did she want from me? And why was she being so roundabout? She wasn’t threatening me – again, she didn’t have to, the threat was implied – but still. I couldn’t quite figure it out.
I told her I’d see her first thing when I got back from Paris. I get back from Paris tomorrow. And I’m feeling… not great about it, to be honest.
So yeah. I don’t know what to do. And I’m freaking out.
ISO: advice for how to handle this? How to just somehow avoid her and/or not panic about my entire life being ruined?
Thanks in advance.
2023.05.30 04:05 Enough_Commercial585 relationship advice…Am I being unfair??
Hello everyone I (22 F) have been with my boyfriend (26) for almost 3 years. Our relationship is “perfect” as we are able to communicate and overcome any obstacles. However, I am worried on moving onto the next step of our relationship. I hope my boyfriend moves out within the year as his parents, especially the mom can be overbearing in our relationship. For context: His family are Italians so chores are gender based…cooking, cleaning etc. are “female” jobs. With this he has no knowledge of how to take care of himself. This being said, he does want to move out but won’t be “spoon fed” anymore by him parents, particularly the mom. I have my differences with his mom. For example, his parents threw a NYE party at their house, and invited his whole family. As much as I love his family, they are always yelling and tend to drink till inebriated. I didn’t grow up having family gatherings every other weekend…especially not gatherings involving VERY LOUD AND DRUNK members. During this party, the mother seemed tipsy as she called me over to the girl cousins table. I sat across from his mom and she said,” (Name) you need to do better this year…promise me you’ll do better.” I was confused by this and asked what she meant. In summary she wants me to be at EVERY FAMILY EVENT…I am not obligated to go as I am not engaged to my boyfriend and have a full time job.
The father is a drunk and abusive to put it lightly. He is kind to me but being in his household makes me anxious despite the years I have been coming over.
I understand the economy and my boyfriend’s lack of urgency to move out but I want him to be more independent…and to get away from his parents.
ALL ADVICE AND HELP NEEDED
submitted by Enough_Commercial585 to Advice [link] [comments]
The father is a drunk and abusive to put it lightly. He is kind to me but being in his household makes me anxious despite the years I have been coming over.
I understand the economy and my boyfriend’s lack of urgency to move out but I want him to be more independent…and to get away from his parents.
ALL ADVICE AND HELP NEEDED
2023.05.30 03:16 ataylorm Looking for flexible lighting suggestions
My wife needs some flexible grow lights. Amazon has a variety of octopus style lights, but she’s tried several and they are either really weak or tend to go out in a few weeks. She needs something octopus style or vertical that is full spectrum.
Can anyone suggest something how quality? Needs to be LED.
submitted by ataylorm to Hydroponics [link] [comments]
Can anyone suggest something how quality? Needs to be LED.
2023.05.30 02:55 Danger-Klaus U14 feedback
Dear devs and community.
I've played about 15 full games of U14. 3500.2hrs in game ~14hrs since update... I'm not here to hate on the game I love it, this feedback is supposed to be constructive so if people want to start complaining about others having their opinions just go away now. Most of this is just here for us to start collating and discussing how the game is playing, so that the devs can continue to work on the game. (feel free to skip to the main points, videos arent the best but all illustrate somethingabout the game in its current state)
I've liked every update dispite all the growing pains, despite new bugs and old ones not being fixed, i know all the changes since U8, and i have been able to see the logic in all the changes thus far, overall they have been positive to create a really good balance. The balance of this game is what made it great. First there are the ity bity things that aren't good about this update which I'm sure will get fixed soon: 1. Cancelling actions and movement on hitting tab. 2. cant open map while building nodes and other actions 3. broken running sound - this is really bad, that choppy tin can breathing sound is a constant annoyance. 4. stutter on alemien, the performance is terrible and vehicles rubber band despite being run on the best servers. 5. Whistling kite sfx in northern africa - put this in for the lols only, but its just strange to hear a bird im so familiar with in outback australia, i had to take my headphones off and look out my window and see if it came from outside or the game... I can put up with this kind of break in "immersion" i just thought it was funny... 6. El Alemein game play feels silly and arcady, a lot of running around, players look like ants crawling on distant hills. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qa-MLIcA6c at the start i can rocket 3 players becasue at that view distance their cover is invisible, then i can easily run over open ground, see all the other players around me running around on open ground, i have forward simply to investigate what cover i wasnt seeing and ping the offending sandbags at the end. moral of the story is El Alemein gameplay does not play well with these abilities to exploit distance and, zig zag around... 7. xp broken - we all know this 8. vfx are broken in el alemein and ive noticed the mushroom explosions of vehicles on all maps stutter and blink when killing vehicles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KybSYuHCBYk that was a kill shot but the mushroom didnt come up (i checked my score which raised by 100). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaG_awKjcUo another very clear vid of what i mean, i never experienced this pre U14 9. rockets seem to despawn still when hitting tanks, i feel like this is more common since U14 but i might just be having bad luck, i know this is happening when you hit close to an edge, but the invisible edges are way wider than they should be: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34LtbKDW9Bo&feature=youtu.be 10. lack of desert uniforms 11. all the other bugs that have been listed by wombat medic, or legacy bugs like loadout. this is a fine stuff, im sure the devs will work on this stuff...
These all make the game feel like a work in progress and i hope they are being worked on.
and now the things people will argue about:
the game used to feel like this: https://youtu.be/wMvTR012Dmg?t=88
now it feels like we are going this way: https://youtu.be/fgA1wyX3oKA?t=927 I know this is an over the top comparison so cool your jets if you've been triggered and want to ACtuaLly me about us not having a shield in game... I jest, but lets think about how we want the game to feel... it used to feel like a war movie and now it doesn't.
I have played this game forever and a day, and i know what the game gets like after sales, but I can safely say these new movements are making the game worse for more casual players, there is an increasing trend toward shooting fast and less incentive to repeatedly build spawns and defend them, the old speed was a moderating factor that gave the game a steady flow that shaped the greater battle, now the better older players can just charge around, rocket snipe, kill spawns and speed cap to the steamroll if they want, while new players are unbridled to wander to their wims and fancy...
While there is a lot of hyperbole going around, especially from those who complain about players giving an opinion... this game is not done yet, it doesn't need to be compared to other titles, these criticisms are valid and stand in their own right when compared to the game we have grown to love, and they do concern players like me, I am finding the game markedly less fun since the update, and while I know there is an element of new player influx, players exploring new maps or time taken to get used to the new movement... none of that disqualifies or further informs the points i have made. I think we are mostly used to the new movement by now, I am doing fine with it, I just really dislike it becasue it is changing the fundamental feel and game flow of what made this game unique and great, the game hasn't become harder its become dumber, we seeing more intense one on one fights next to a hedge and less intense battles which used to give the game its cinematic feel, it makes the game different in a way i enjoy less, games just feel flacid and random, the enemy team used to look like they moved with some coherence now they move more like you just stomped on top of an ants nest as they just scatter around... What ive noticed in this game is that the layout of the maps, the abilities and and speed of vehicles and infantry influence player behaviour, SL's and commander influence player behaviour by timing and placing spawns, there is an imagination in this game that games are controlled in command chat, and while fun and great stuff happens there the truth is that most of the good gameplay in HLL is emergent, its an unconscious accident that is created by players using the tools and abilities at their disposal... If you start allowing players to erratically run and worm around... they will do this. If you allow players to play this way... Expect a different game experience to emerge.
submitted by Danger-Klaus to HellLetLoose [link] [comments]
I've played about 15 full games of U14. 3500.2hrs in game ~14hrs since update... I'm not here to hate on the game I love it, this feedback is supposed to be constructive so if people want to start complaining about others having their opinions just go away now. Most of this is just here for us to start collating and discussing how the game is playing, so that the devs can continue to work on the game. (feel free to skip to the main points, videos arent the best but all illustrate somethingabout the game in its current state)
I've liked every update dispite all the growing pains, despite new bugs and old ones not being fixed, i know all the changes since U8, and i have been able to see the logic in all the changes thus far, overall they have been positive to create a really good balance. The balance of this game is what made it great. First there are the ity bity things that aren't good about this update which I'm sure will get fixed soon: 1. Cancelling actions and movement on hitting tab. 2. cant open map while building nodes and other actions 3. broken running sound - this is really bad, that choppy tin can breathing sound is a constant annoyance. 4. stutter on alemien, the performance is terrible and vehicles rubber band despite being run on the best servers. 5. Whistling kite sfx in northern africa - put this in for the lols only, but its just strange to hear a bird im so familiar with in outback australia, i had to take my headphones off and look out my window and see if it came from outside or the game... I can put up with this kind of break in "immersion" i just thought it was funny... 6. El Alemein game play feels silly and arcady, a lot of running around, players look like ants crawling on distant hills. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Qa-MLIcA6c at the start i can rocket 3 players becasue at that view distance their cover is invisible, then i can easily run over open ground, see all the other players around me running around on open ground, i have forward simply to investigate what cover i wasnt seeing and ping the offending sandbags at the end. moral of the story is El Alemein gameplay does not play well with these abilities to exploit distance and, zig zag around... 7. xp broken - we all know this 8. vfx are broken in el alemein and ive noticed the mushroom explosions of vehicles on all maps stutter and blink when killing vehicles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KybSYuHCBYk that was a kill shot but the mushroom didnt come up (i checked my score which raised by 100). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaG_awKjcUo another very clear vid of what i mean, i never experienced this pre U14 9. rockets seem to despawn still when hitting tanks, i feel like this is more common since U14 but i might just be having bad luck, i know this is happening when you hit close to an edge, but the invisible edges are way wider than they should be: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34LtbKDW9Bo&feature=youtu.be 10. lack of desert uniforms 11. all the other bugs that have been listed by wombat medic, or legacy bugs like loadout. this is a fine stuff, im sure the devs will work on this stuff...
These all make the game feel like a work in progress and i hope they are being worked on.
and now the things people will argue about:
- speed, I know its beating a dead horse but i'm going to talk about it, it is something that is a major change, its not a skill issue we are all adjusting to it, for those saying its not easier to satchel tanks, well it is, its easier to run past infantry and its easier to run after tanks and its easier to avoid getting shot doing it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nywWg0dxbo0 I was able to ping what i wanted to satchel on the map, avoid every enemy i saw, simply run past someone trying to mow me down with a ppsh and have multiple attempts at jumping on and i can always simply do a light jog to chase it. I will continue to play like this becasue it works, we can all learn to run fast and outshoot and outsatchel but its a question of do we want the game to play this way? I certainly don't its less fun. Here is a video of my first U14 game... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGL22jw_geY look at my bad aim, I was discussing the new patch on discord and started simply casual leading the guy at my old ingrained U13 lead, I then over adjusted thinking id catch him, which used to work... that aside look at the player movement, he actually teleports backwards and turns towards me, where leading him into catching my bullets woud have worked last patch with the new "locomotion" this kind of shootout is all too common... its jumpy and jarring. I reiterate, we can all adjust to this and learn to play with the the fast jerky janky movements, I already have, but I speak for myself at least I will be far less inclined to boot up the game becasue i don't want to play like this, its not the type of gameplay i'm looking for.... Frankly it just looks and feels really shit.
- worming, the repeated bodyslide mash, ive started doing it for the advantage it brings and i hate myself for it, i dont want to be able to do it but if i don't start playing like this i am disadvantaging myself Now look at this vid posted by someone who thinks they are really good at the game and has tried posting multiple brag posts in this sub, but its just a simple way we now all need to learn how to play: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvNm1vX_pKI We can all do this, its easy to learn, we can all repeatedly tap the prone key and think we're gansta... even the 50+ boomer players are doing this now... but instead of wasting our time using this method to get kills the smarter players amongst us are already doing this to pop OPs and garrisons. I've done it multiple times already you just run in like a slippery fish and pop multiple OP's before they can effectively aim at you. Players are using the increased speed and prone slide to move more erratically, this means less team based movement and ww2 style battles and more team deathmatch free for all style jumpy stuff. I already tried to do this last patch, it just got much easier now.. Your spawns are far less safe now, please get ready for people to nag you to rebuild them more often.
the game used to feel like this: https://youtu.be/wMvTR012Dmg?t=88
now it feels like we are going this way: https://youtu.be/fgA1wyX3oKA?t=927 I know this is an over the top comparison so cool your jets if you've been triggered and want to ACtuaLly me about us not having a shield in game... I jest, but lets think about how we want the game to feel... it used to feel like a war movie and now it doesn't.
I have played this game forever and a day, and i know what the game gets like after sales, but I can safely say these new movements are making the game worse for more casual players, there is an increasing trend toward shooting fast and less incentive to repeatedly build spawns and defend them, the old speed was a moderating factor that gave the game a steady flow that shaped the greater battle, now the better older players can just charge around, rocket snipe, kill spawns and speed cap to the steamroll if they want, while new players are unbridled to wander to their wims and fancy...
While there is a lot of hyperbole going around, especially from those who complain about players giving an opinion... this game is not done yet, it doesn't need to be compared to other titles, these criticisms are valid and stand in their own right when compared to the game we have grown to love, and they do concern players like me, I am finding the game markedly less fun since the update, and while I know there is an element of new player influx, players exploring new maps or time taken to get used to the new movement... none of that disqualifies or further informs the points i have made. I think we are mostly used to the new movement by now, I am doing fine with it, I just really dislike it becasue it is changing the fundamental feel and game flow of what made this game unique and great, the game hasn't become harder its become dumber, we seeing more intense one on one fights next to a hedge and less intense battles which used to give the game its cinematic feel, it makes the game different in a way i enjoy less, games just feel flacid and random, the enemy team used to look like they moved with some coherence now they move more like you just stomped on top of an ants nest as they just scatter around... What ive noticed in this game is that the layout of the maps, the abilities and and speed of vehicles and infantry influence player behaviour, SL's and commander influence player behaviour by timing and placing spawns, there is an imagination in this game that games are controlled in command chat, and while fun and great stuff happens there the truth is that most of the good gameplay in HLL is emergent, its an unconscious accident that is created by players using the tools and abilities at their disposal... If you start allowing players to erratically run and worm around... they will do this. If you allow players to play this way... Expect a different game experience to emerge.
2023.05.30 02:35 ThunderShott To Victory! (Chapter 2)
 | Nelson is thrown to the floor as his flagship is suddenly almost capsized by a rogue wave. What seemed like calm waters became a thunderstorm in an instant. They had also become separated from their escorts in the unusual freak storm. He gets back up to his feet despite missing what was his dominant arm. He looks around and sees his crew trying to get up and the water that was splashed up onto the deck falling off of and into the vessel. He shouts as loud as he can to be heard over the sounds of thunder, crashing of waves and the flapping of sails being snapped from their riggings. submitted by ThunderShott to AzureLane [link] [comments] “EVERYONE GRAB ONTO SOMETHING WE’LL GET THROUGH THI—“ He is cut off by another huge wave crashing into the other side of the ship, throwing him off balance again, causing him to fall down one of the openings of the cargo hold, whose door had been destroyed by a cannon falling on it. Nelson scrambles to try and stand again before anything falls on him, and notices a similar glow coming from a small metal cage meant for small animals about to fall. Not wanting to have his new piracy deterrent broken, Nelson goes over to it, but is too late as it falls and cracks open, the old rusted lock breaking, and the cube falls out. Before Nelson can secure it in his hands, the cube seems to keep falling through the deck instead of landing on it. He can only look at where the cube disappeared into the floor, the wood itself emitting the same blue glow, spreading like a fire to the rest of the ship. He backs up when he’s temporarily blinded by a bright flash, and initially thinks he’s just been killed in an explosion, until he hears a voice from right in front of him, despite him being the only one down there. A female voice. The sound of it makes him freeze. His vision returns and he sees the ship return to it’s normal colour, then sees the intruder with a sword and pistol on her hips. Not wanting to risk her pulling them, he quickly unholsters his own pistol and aims it at her. She lets out a small yelp as she holds up her hands. He observes her military-like outfit. Formal, but rather unorthodox for the Royal Navy. She is wearing white modest underclothing covering her lower half and chest underneath a black tailcoat with thigh-high boots strapped to it as well as red and black lapels along with gold trim, accompanied by a large black coat with the same features, along with golden epaulettes draped over her shoulders but her arms are not in the sleeves. Her uniform is unlike any he’s ever seen, but was certainly not made by amateurs. “Who the hell are you, and why are you on my ship? This is a military vessel!” The clouds above clear and sunlight shines down on them again and illuminates the woman’s golden hair and crimson eyes. The woman thinks for a moment, “I… there’s no good way to tell you, but I’ll try.” She thinks some more, Nelson’s increasingly impatient expression not helping. “My name is Victor…ia. Victoria. I am here to help you on your mission.” Unconvinced, Nelson presses, “You don’t sound very confident.” “Having a gun pointed at you tends to unnerve you a bit, sir. If you could please lower the gun, we can talk like civilised people.” Impressed by such a brave request, Nelson thinks he could at least hear her out. “Surrender the sword and pistol, and I’ll consider it.” Victoria looks shocked and looks down at her hips were the weapons he mentioned hanging off her uniform. She regards them as if she had no idea she had them. She nods and slowly grabs them, kneels down and carefully sets them down on the deck. She slowly stands back up and takes a step back. Nelson lowers his own pistol and shouts up, “Quartermaster! Get the crew and ship back on track!” Not hearing a response, he shakes his head and assumes he heard him. He gestures over to a table and chairs near them in the cargo hold, not realising that he can’t hear any activity from above as his attention was now fully on the new addition. “Take a seat.” Victoria nods and obeys him. Nelson sits opposite her and says, “Now, start again. Who are you, and why are you in my ship? Where did you come from?” Victoria looks down and says, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you the truth…” Nelson scoffs, “Victoria, I’ve heard all sorts of magical balderdash from pirates and their bloody legends. Whatever you come up with, I’ve probably heard of worse. Besides, you are by default a prisoner on this ship for trespassing, so unless you convince me otherwise, you will be in the brig for the remainder of this mission." Looking back at him with a hint of fear in her eyes, she decides that there’s no easy way to tell him, so she just says, “I came from the cube that was absorbed into the ship… no… that’s not it… rather.., I came from the ship,… and the cube contained the power to give me life.” Nelson leans forward and asks, “My ears must be deceiving me, as I swear you just implied that you are this very vessel. Am I wrong?” Victory becomes uncomfortable. She almost would have preferred that he just left in disbelief. “I… no… you’re not wrong, Comman…” Nelson slams the table and quite aggressively corrects her. “Vice-Admiral.” Startled, Victoria continues. “Y… you’re not wrong, Vice-Admiral… I am indeed… this vessel, and this vessel is me. My actual name is…” “Victory?” The Vice-Admiral finishes. “Your name is Victory?” Victory nods and Nelson shakes his head. “Do you have any idea how this sounds?” “I’m aware, sir. The only thing I can do is prove it to you, I suppose. I have full control over this entire vessel. Ask me to do something and I will do it for you.” Nelson chuckles and decides to humour her. He leans back and looks at the cannonballs in reserve. “Alright, load those cannonballs into the guns.” “Aye, sir.” The Vice-Admiral nearly jumps out of his chair as some of the cannonballs disappear with a similar blue light and the sound of all the cannons on the ship being loaded at the same time fills the room. “All guns loaded.” Nelson blinks twice to make sure he’s not imagining things. He looks back at her as she slowly gains a confident smile. He says, “unload them and put the balls back…” Victory nods again and the sound of the cannons being emptied echoes through the deck and the balls return to the piles. Her confident smile grows larger as she sees her superior officer scratch his head. Her smile however disappears when he mutters, “It’s like bloody witchcraft…” She says nervously says, “Sir, I can assure you. I am no witch. I am dedicated to serving you as your flagship and with God as my witness, I will not allow harm to befall you. I will use my power only to help you and your allies.” Nelson looks back at her and jokes, “Be careful what you say about the Lord, Miss Victory. Luckily for you, I don’t believe in witches anyway.” She chuckles a bit and he asks, “So… you are dedicated to the Royal Navy?” She stands and salutes, “I am not, sir. I am dedicated to you. Whatever you do, I will be there to help you. Even if for whatever reason you decide to break away from the Navy with the ship, I shall assist.” He smirks and says, “Dedicated to me, you say?” Her cheeks turn red and her salute falters, “….I meant to… your command, sir…” Nelson lets out a soft laugh and says, “Yes, I know what you mean. I’m a married man anyway.” He decided not to let Victory in on the fact he’s already having an affair with another woman, who he has also had a child with. “Well then, Miss Victory. For the sake of a formal introduction, I am Vice-Admiral Horatio Nelson. I suppose this will take some getting used to, won’t it?” He holds out his hand for her and she gives him a solid handshake. “Aye, sir. For both of us, for very different reasons…” From afar, Observer updates her experiment log. “The Mirror Sea was effective. The fusion of Wisdom Cube to ship was successful. I have now deactivated it and removed all except two of the “variables” to give Victory full control of her ship. Will continue to see how she handles being the first Kansen.” She says with a devious smile. Author’s note: In case I did a poor job describing what Victory looks like, I used the design drawn by Dishwasher1910 - https://dishwasher1910.artstation.com/projects/gJLgvG Also, I’ve been having issues with posting to Reddit for some reason, so this was supposed to be posted way earlier. For anyone who actually likes this story, I have Chapters 3 and 4 already done and they will be posted soon. If you'd like to read them now, they're on FanFiction.net under the same story name. |
2023.05.30 02:02 OtoEdliner 100 Reasons to stay alive:
- to make your parents proud
- to conquer your fears
- to see your family again
- to see your Favorite artist live
- to listen to music again and again
- to experience a new culture
- to make new friends
- to inspire
- to have your own children
- to adopt your own pet
- to make yourself proud
- to meet your idols
- to laugh until you cry
- to feel tears of happiness
- to eat your favorite food
- to see your siblings grow
- to pass school
- to get tattoo
- to smile until your cheeks hurt
- to meet your internet friends
- to find someone who loves you like you deserve
- to eat ice cream on a hot day
- to drink hot chocolate on a cold day
- to see untouched snow in the morning
- to see a sunset that sets the sky on fire
- to see stars light up the sky
- to read a book that changes your life
- to see the flowers in the spring
- to see the leaves change from green to brown
- to travel abroad
- to learn a new language
- to learn to draw
- to tell others your story in the hopes of helping them
- Puppy kisses.
- Baby kisses (the open mouthed kind when they smack their lips on your cheek).
- Swear words and the release you feel when you say them.
- Trampolines.
- Ice cream.
- Stargazing.
- Cloud watching.
- Taking a shower and then sleeping in clean sheets.
- Receiving thoughtful gifts.
- “I saw this and thought of you."
- The feeling you get when someone you love says, “I love you."
- The relief you feel after crying.
- Sunshine.
- The feeling you get when someone is listening to you/giving you their full attention.
- Your future wedding.
- Your favorite candy bar.
- New clothes.
- Witty puns.
- Really good bread.
- Holding your child in your arms for the first time.
- Completing a milestone (aka going to college, graduating college, getting married, getting your dream job.)
- The kind of dreams where you wake up and can’t stop smiling.
- The smell before and after it rains
- The sound of rain against a rooftop.
- The feeling you get when you’re dancing.
- The person (or people) that mean the most to you. Stay alive for them.
- Trying out new recipes.
- The feeling you get when your favorite song comes on the radio.
- The rush you get when you step onto a stage.
- You have to share your voice and talents and knowledge with the world because they are so valuable. 64.Breakfast in bed.
- Getting a middle seat in the movie theater.
- Breakfast for dinner (because it’s so much better at night than in the morning).
- Pray (if you are religious)(Edit:Do not)
- Forgiveness.
- Water balloon fights.
- New books by your favorite authors.
- Fireflies.
- Birthdays.
- Realizing that someone loves you.
- Spending the day with someone like you.
- Opportunity to create meaningful and lasting relationships.
- Potential to learn, grow, and evolve as a person.
- Joy and happiness in the little things.
- The power to inspire others.
- The ability to create art, music, and other forms of self-expression.
- To explore different cultures, traditions, and ways of life.
- To make a positive impact on the environment and help protect the planet.
- Experience the joys of parenthood and raise a family.
- Learn new things and develop new skills.
- Create a legacy that will outlive you.
- Being wrapped up in a warm bed.
- Cuddles
- Holding hands.
- The kind of hugs when you can feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders. The kind of hug where your breath syncs with the other person’s, and you feel like the only two people in the world.
- Singing off key with your best friends.
- Road trips.
- Spontaneous adventures.
- The feeling of sand beneath your toes.
- The feeling when the first sea wave rolls up and envelops your toes and ankles and knees.
- Thunderstorms.
- Your first (or hundredth) trip to Disneyland.
- The taste of your favorite food.
- The child-like feeling you get on New Year morning.
- The day when everything finally goes your way.
- Compliments and praise.
- to look on this moment in 10 years time and realize you did it.
2023.05.30 01:56 Zodiacuser [Store] TI8, TI9, Nemestice,Aghanims, Diretide CC's
Emperor Zodiac Services is back on reddit to provide you my services
I have been selling since TI10 and stopped due to complication with reddit postings. But now I have returned to provide service to those who are interested as there is coin to be made.
For proof of legitimacy as a businessman please look at my steam profile
Mode of payment Gcash/Coins.ph/Paypal/Paymaya
Down payment of half or full payment is a must for transaction to proceed to avoid joy riders
If interested feel free to message me in reddit or in steam ( Prefer steam as I am more active there) ^^
submitted by Zodiacuser to Dota2Trade [link] [comments]
I have been selling since TI10 and stopped due to complication with reddit postings. But now I have returned to provide service to those who are interested as there is coin to be made.
For proof of legitimacy as a businessman please look at my steam profile
Mode of payment Gcash/Coins.ph/Paypal/Paymaya
Down payment of half or full payment is a must for transaction to proceed to avoid joy riders
If interested feel free to message me in reddit or in steam ( Prefer steam as I am more active there) ^^
| TI8 Collectors Cache | Quantity | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Shackles of Enduring Conscript (Axe) | 1 Available | $10 |
| Rare: Rainments of Obsidian Forge (Underlord) | 1 Available | $15 |
| TI9 Collectors Cache | Quantity | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Directive of the Sunbound (Clockwork) | 1 Available | $10 |
| Distinguished Expeditionary (Tuskar) | 1 Available | $10 |
| Prized Acquisition (Batrider) | 1 Available | $10 |
| TI10 Collectors Cache II | Quantity | Price |
|---|---|---|
| The king of thieves (Keeper of the Light) | 0 Available 1 Reserved | $10 |
| Nemestice Collectors Cache | Quantity | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Arcane Inverter (Gyrocopter) | 1 Available | $10 |
| Caerulian Stars (Enchantress) | 3 Available | $5 |
| Litany of the Damned (Doombringer) | 1 Available | $10 |
| Red Sands Marauder (Shadow Shaman) | 0 Available 1 Sold | $10 |
| Twilight Hex (Dark Willow) | 2 Available 1 Reserved | $6 |
| Aghanims Collectors Cache | Quantity | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Blight Fall (Abaddon) | 1 Available | $8 |
| Cosmic Concoctor (Alchemist) | 0 Available 1 Sold | $8 |
| Forgotten Fate (Mars) | 1 Available | $8 |
| Perils of the Red Banks (Chen) | 2 Available | $8 |
| Secrets of the Frost Singularity (Ancient Apparition) | 1 Available | $8 |
| The Chained Scribe (Grimmstroke) | 2 Available | $8 |
| Rare: Pyrexae Polymorph Perfected (Ogre Magi) | 1 Available 1 Sold | $20 |
| Diretide Collectors Cache I | Quantity | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Champion of the Fire Lotus (Monkey King) | 4 Available | $4 |
| Chines of the Inquisitor (Faceless Void) | 4 Available | $4 |
| Crimson Dawn (Phoenix) | 5 Available | $4 |
| Deathstick Shaman (Witch Doctor) | 3 Available | $4 |
| Dirge Amplifier (Undying) | 4 Available | $4 |
| Forgotten Station (Terror Blade) | 3 Available | $4 |
| Hounds of Obsession (Chen) | 2 Available | $6 |
| Seadog's Stash (Clockwork) | 4 Available | $4 |
| Spoils of the Shadowveil (Spectre) | 4 Available | $4 |
| Starlorn Adjudicator (Dawnbreaker) | 1 Available | $6 |
| Trophies of the Hallowed Hunt (Ursa) | 4 Available | $4 |
| Whippersnapper (Snapfire) | 2 Available | $5 |
| Rare: Angel of Vex (Invoker) | 2 Available | $20 |
| Rare: Blue Horizons (Marci) | 3 Available | $15 |
| Diretide Collectors Cache II | Quantity | Price |
|---|---|---|
| Acrimonies of Obsession (Vengeful Spirit) | 3 Available | $4 |
| Bird of Prey (Legion Commander) | 3 Available | $4 |
| Cursed Cryptbreaker (Pudge) | 3 Available | $4 |
| Darkbrew's Transgression (Alchemist) | 3 Available | $4 |
| Dawn of Darkness Foretold (Doombringer) | 3 Available | $4 |
| Feasts of Forever (Nightstalker) | 2 Available | $4 |
| Freeboots Fortune (Ogre Magi) | 2 Available | $4 |
| Grand Suppresor (Silencer) | 3 Available | $4 |
| Sacred Chamber Guardian (Huskar) | 2 Available | $4 |
| The Wilding Tiger (Pandaren Brewmaster) | 1 Available | $6 |
| Transcendent Path (Oracle) | 1 Available | $6 |
| War Rig Eradicators (Techies) | 2 Available | $4 |
| Withering Pain (Boneclinkz) | 3 Available | $4 |
| Rare: Grudges of the Gallows Tree (Treant Protector) | 5 Available | $10 |
| Rare: Brands of the Reaper (Anti-Mage) | 2 Available | $15 |
| Very Rare: Sublime Equilibrium (Void Spirit) | 1 Available | $25 |
2023.05.30 01:55 WittyBeee Help!Astilbe new shoots stop growing
 | Planted some astilbe bare roots last year fall, and this year they finally sprouted in late April. However they stopped growing after a while and it’s been a couple weeks with no new growth. submitted by WittyBeee to gardening [link] [comments] Leaves look still green and healthy, not sure what’s wrong. They are planted in full shade with indirect light, there is a full grown astilbe planted in the same spot and happily blooming. Please let me know what I should do with them! Thanks! |
2023.05.30 01:37 Latticese Three years ago I had a dream about a presentation I watched onboard a UFO and it still bothers me to this day
I found myself in a blank white room without doors. It was cold and I was sitting alone on a single-seat, white sofa while a big screen played out a presentation
Two things that stood out as strange to me was how I was aware of it being a dream and yet I wasn't able to control it like how a lucid state allows.
Additionally, I felt the temperature of the room perfectly. The texture of the sofa was similar to leather and I sank right into it like it's stuffed with gel.
I didn't see any faces or learn any names. The voice sounded hard to distinguish as male or female and was somewhat robotic. The presentation involved imagery that was strictly familiar to me so I didn't get to see any aliens in it either
What makes think the room was a ufo was it's odd oval shape and the absence of sharp corners. The floor neatly blended into the wall which blended into the ceiling etc
I will try my best to remember what I learned:
Their religion revolves around the pursuit of happiness and the quest for self-actualization and belonging. They believe that true happiness is achieved when who the person thinks they are, who they want to be, and who they're perceived as are one and the same person
According to them, this need is universal across different species, suggesting a pattern in nature
For instance, atoms combine to form biological matter, which gives rise to cells, and cells create living beings with consciousness. Consciousness represents the peak of complexity, but they told me their research has revealed that it continues to evolve into more advanced forms
Collective consciousness forms another chain in the line. A complex form of life called thoughtforms or Egregores in English. They rely on the energy, emotions, beliefs, and thoughts of conscious entities in a wide variety. There is those who feed on negative emotions, positive emotions, beliefs and even abstract things like dreams etc. While we coexist with these beings without full awareness( similar to how nerve cells are unaware of the mind they are a part of) they have realized their profound influence on their society
By becoming aware of these beings and actively promoting positive collective consciousness, they have freed themselves from the harm caused by negative feeding entities. They urge our society to become aware of thoughtforms and restructure our way of life to foster equality and a sense of belonging for all
In their pursuit of equality and belonging, they have implemented a strange system of temporary identities. People can choose specific roles within society, such as a fish farmer caring for an elderly father. They join host families that treat them no differently than any other adopter. To preserve anonymity, and ensure unbiased treatment individuals wear masks and full-body suits for their role. The outfit is the same for every participant who adopts the role. They can switch roles indefinitely, exploring different lives or settle into one they created for themselves. After death, they pass on the identity they created for others. This system has proven instrumental in achieving self-actualization.
Furthermore, their architecture fosters community and social interaction. Park tables, for example, feature small lights that individuals can change the color of to signal their openness to conversation. Apartments have built-in private networks that allow residents to chat with neighbors on the same floor or in the same building etc
In short, their religion emphasizes the pursuit of happiness, self-actualization, and a sense of belonging to improve their collective thoughtform
This was very vital for them to achieve. They say that just how our body's cells don't understand why they get cut or recieve less nutrition sometimes, we have good and bad experiences at seemingly random patterns because of our egregores. By concentrating on feeding the positive energy beings they managed to virtually purge suffering from their daily lives.
This is absolutely bizarre to me but I had to share it to get it off my chest. Another interesting part was about how their economy is designed to achieve equality, less-waste and encourage innovation
They have a system that can be visualized as a pyramid of cards rather than the traditional trickle-down economy. The pyramid represents the structure of wealth distribution, ensuring that no class disproportionately grows over others. To explain this concept, let's consider a lemonade stand as an example.
In traditional capitalism, the owner of the stand and resources would receive the largest share of the profit, while the worker is paid a fixed wage, regardless of their contribution to the business. This system encourages the owner to reduce costs, including worker wages, and increase output, often resulting in poor quality products. Moreover, any unsold or unused items go to waste, which harms both individuals and the environment.
In their system, the worker receives a fixed ratio or percentage of the earnings rather than a fixed salary. For instance, if they split the earnings in a 1:3 ratio, and the stand makes $20 a day, the owner would receive $14, while the worker receives $6.5. By increasing the number of workers, the profits can grow. If two workers generate $40 a day, the owner would get $27, while each worker continues to receive $6.5 (a total of $13). If the owner puts pressure on a single worker to increase output, that worker would receive a higher compensation, such as $13.5. When sales increase further, let's say to $80 a day, the owner would get $53.4, and both workers would split $23.4, resulting in an increase in their wages to $13.5 each. This system prevents extreme inequality and maintains a balance among different wealth groups, akin to a pyramid of cards
Another advantage of their economy is the use of digital currency managed by a powerful AI-operated bank. This bank tracks business profits and determines fair payments. Owners are legally required to register employees on the fair-pay program, and all transactions must go through the bank. This approach eliminates human involvement to prevent corruption. To maintain transparency and prevent hacking, the AI's decision-making process and transactions are publicly visible through a live-feed. Any hacking attempts or discrepancies between reported payments and actual receipts would be immediately evident. Additionally, the system has robust cybersecurity measures, including compartmentalization of information and regular checks by a randomly selected team of developers
Their government does not control the bank or the payment ratio. It runs automatically and isn't staffed by anyone but the publicly transparent AI. Instead, people get to vote on the appropriate ratio for different skillsets. The government's role is to safeguard the system and provide public surveillance of the bank's activities. Innovation and education are highly valued, with scientists, educators, and engineers receiving the highest salaries and belonging to the top layer of the pyramid. They are paid in an exclusive currency that is priced at three times the standard currency
While the private sector has full control over means of production, raw resources have shared control between the private and government sectors. For instance, if a company discovers a copper mine and develops an effective extraction/purification method, they receive a fixed percentage of the profit, while the government sets a fair price for the resources based on extraction costs. People can buy these resources and use private sector machinery and blueprints to create items of their choice.
There are machinery and blueprints available to the general public for free, but they are limited to basic designs necessary for survival. This restriction prevents exploitation during emergencies. Businesses, therefore, focus on innovation and improving designs, ideas, patents, and machinery to produce items more effectively.
Their system has a strict made-to-order process for purchasing items, reducing environmental damage from unsold goods. Only perishable items like food, vital medicines and digital-goods are allowed to have surplus quantities. If a food item nears its expiration date, it would be offered at an extremely low price rather than being disposed off. This discourages businesses from over farming
Additionally supermarkets don't use packaging to sell food. To minimize harm to the environment, they bring in their own reusable containers to fill up from their product of choice, which is stored in large containers within the shop. Weight/volume determines the cost
In politics they don't have a party system and prefer direct democracy over representative democracy because they see the existence of a middle-man as a doorway for corruption. Their people get to vote on individual issues just like what happens in Switzerland. One difference is that they're required to do a lot more than simply tick yes or no. They believe that education is a vital part of successful democracy, therefore the voter has to write a short essay weighing the pros and cons behind their decision to demonstrate that they've learned enough before making a decision
The consequence of this system is that it takes very long to collect and process votes (It's done by AI which also has it's process live-streamed) The person is required to write it while at the voting center (to prevent copy-pastes) The booth provides them with a PC which has all the gathered points and research supporting each side of the decision.
To reduce the time it takes to submit and process votes, they prioritise those who are most affected by a decision. For example if it's about women's reproductive health then only women can vote. The rest of the population can still participate by adding to the information stockpile for the voting booth. Another example is when it comes to war, only those who are enlisted are allowed to vote in favour of it to discourage an eagerness for violence
Just like the bank system the government is also unstaffed. There is only an AI controlling humanoid drones to complete tasks. It's also publicly surveyed (I find it interesting how the government is watched by people rather than the other way around) they also have a randomly selected maintenance team to work on the program running it. They're taken to work immediately to prevent anyone from bribing them. Even more public surveillance goes into their work
There is lots more finer details about their society but I unfortunately forgot it after years passed. I might remember more with time but this post already got ridiculously long. After the dream ended I just woke up home and was in a cold sweat because of how bizarrely detailed it was. My dreams are usually random junk that I forget completely the instant I wake up
Edit: format, typoes etc
Edit: Some people are accusing me of making it all up which is reasonable. All I can respond by is that I want absolutely nothing to do with this "message" and anyone is free to publish a book using it if they want to
Tldr: Had a dream, in which I was on board a ufo and was taught about an alien society. They valued happiness, self-actualization, and belonging. They introduced me to the concept of thoughtforms and how they affect our society. Their economy focused on equality, less waste, and innovation. They had an AI-operated bank and emphasized education and direct democracy
submitted by Latticese to Experiencers [link] [comments]
Two things that stood out as strange to me was how I was aware of it being a dream and yet I wasn't able to control it like how a lucid state allows.
Additionally, I felt the temperature of the room perfectly. The texture of the sofa was similar to leather and I sank right into it like it's stuffed with gel.
I didn't see any faces or learn any names. The voice sounded hard to distinguish as male or female and was somewhat robotic. The presentation involved imagery that was strictly familiar to me so I didn't get to see any aliens in it either
What makes think the room was a ufo was it's odd oval shape and the absence of sharp corners. The floor neatly blended into the wall which blended into the ceiling etc
I will try my best to remember what I learned:
Their religion revolves around the pursuit of happiness and the quest for self-actualization and belonging. They believe that true happiness is achieved when who the person thinks they are, who they want to be, and who they're perceived as are one and the same person
According to them, this need is universal across different species, suggesting a pattern in nature
For instance, atoms combine to form biological matter, which gives rise to cells, and cells create living beings with consciousness. Consciousness represents the peak of complexity, but they told me their research has revealed that it continues to evolve into more advanced forms
Collective consciousness forms another chain in the line. A complex form of life called thoughtforms or Egregores in English. They rely on the energy, emotions, beliefs, and thoughts of conscious entities in a wide variety. There is those who feed on negative emotions, positive emotions, beliefs and even abstract things like dreams etc. While we coexist with these beings without full awareness( similar to how nerve cells are unaware of the mind they are a part of) they have realized their profound influence on their society
By becoming aware of these beings and actively promoting positive collective consciousness, they have freed themselves from the harm caused by negative feeding entities. They urge our society to become aware of thoughtforms and restructure our way of life to foster equality and a sense of belonging for all
In their pursuit of equality and belonging, they have implemented a strange system of temporary identities. People can choose specific roles within society, such as a fish farmer caring for an elderly father. They join host families that treat them no differently than any other adopter. To preserve anonymity, and ensure unbiased treatment individuals wear masks and full-body suits for their role. The outfit is the same for every participant who adopts the role. They can switch roles indefinitely, exploring different lives or settle into one they created for themselves. After death, they pass on the identity they created for others. This system has proven instrumental in achieving self-actualization.
Furthermore, their architecture fosters community and social interaction. Park tables, for example, feature small lights that individuals can change the color of to signal their openness to conversation. Apartments have built-in private networks that allow residents to chat with neighbors on the same floor or in the same building etc
In short, their religion emphasizes the pursuit of happiness, self-actualization, and a sense of belonging to improve their collective thoughtform
This was very vital for them to achieve. They say that just how our body's cells don't understand why they get cut or recieve less nutrition sometimes, we have good and bad experiences at seemingly random patterns because of our egregores. By concentrating on feeding the positive energy beings they managed to virtually purge suffering from their daily lives.
This is absolutely bizarre to me but I had to share it to get it off my chest. Another interesting part was about how their economy is designed to achieve equality, less-waste and encourage innovation
They have a system that can be visualized as a pyramid of cards rather than the traditional trickle-down economy. The pyramid represents the structure of wealth distribution, ensuring that no class disproportionately grows over others. To explain this concept, let's consider a lemonade stand as an example.
In traditional capitalism, the owner of the stand and resources would receive the largest share of the profit, while the worker is paid a fixed wage, regardless of their contribution to the business. This system encourages the owner to reduce costs, including worker wages, and increase output, often resulting in poor quality products. Moreover, any unsold or unused items go to waste, which harms both individuals and the environment.
In their system, the worker receives a fixed ratio or percentage of the earnings rather than a fixed salary. For instance, if they split the earnings in a 1:3 ratio, and the stand makes $20 a day, the owner would receive $14, while the worker receives $6.5. By increasing the number of workers, the profits can grow. If two workers generate $40 a day, the owner would get $27, while each worker continues to receive $6.5 (a total of $13). If the owner puts pressure on a single worker to increase output, that worker would receive a higher compensation, such as $13.5. When sales increase further, let's say to $80 a day, the owner would get $53.4, and both workers would split $23.4, resulting in an increase in their wages to $13.5 each. This system prevents extreme inequality and maintains a balance among different wealth groups, akin to a pyramid of cards
Another advantage of their economy is the use of digital currency managed by a powerful AI-operated bank. This bank tracks business profits and determines fair payments. Owners are legally required to register employees on the fair-pay program, and all transactions must go through the bank. This approach eliminates human involvement to prevent corruption. To maintain transparency and prevent hacking, the AI's decision-making process and transactions are publicly visible through a live-feed. Any hacking attempts or discrepancies between reported payments and actual receipts would be immediately evident. Additionally, the system has robust cybersecurity measures, including compartmentalization of information and regular checks by a randomly selected team of developers
Their government does not control the bank or the payment ratio. It runs automatically and isn't staffed by anyone but the publicly transparent AI. Instead, people get to vote on the appropriate ratio for different skillsets. The government's role is to safeguard the system and provide public surveillance of the bank's activities. Innovation and education are highly valued, with scientists, educators, and engineers receiving the highest salaries and belonging to the top layer of the pyramid. They are paid in an exclusive currency that is priced at three times the standard currency
While the private sector has full control over means of production, raw resources have shared control between the private and government sectors. For instance, if a company discovers a copper mine and develops an effective extraction/purification method, they receive a fixed percentage of the profit, while the government sets a fair price for the resources based on extraction costs. People can buy these resources and use private sector machinery and blueprints to create items of their choice.
There are machinery and blueprints available to the general public for free, but they are limited to basic designs necessary for survival. This restriction prevents exploitation during emergencies. Businesses, therefore, focus on innovation and improving designs, ideas, patents, and machinery to produce items more effectively.
Their system has a strict made-to-order process for purchasing items, reducing environmental damage from unsold goods. Only perishable items like food, vital medicines and digital-goods are allowed to have surplus quantities. If a food item nears its expiration date, it would be offered at an extremely low price rather than being disposed off. This discourages businesses from over farming
Additionally supermarkets don't use packaging to sell food. To minimize harm to the environment, they bring in their own reusable containers to fill up from their product of choice, which is stored in large containers within the shop. Weight/volume determines the cost
In politics they don't have a party system and prefer direct democracy over representative democracy because they see the existence of a middle-man as a doorway for corruption. Their people get to vote on individual issues just like what happens in Switzerland. One difference is that they're required to do a lot more than simply tick yes or no. They believe that education is a vital part of successful democracy, therefore the voter has to write a short essay weighing the pros and cons behind their decision to demonstrate that they've learned enough before making a decision
The consequence of this system is that it takes very long to collect and process votes (It's done by AI which also has it's process live-streamed) The person is required to write it while at the voting center (to prevent copy-pastes) The booth provides them with a PC which has all the gathered points and research supporting each side of the decision.
To reduce the time it takes to submit and process votes, they prioritise those who are most affected by a decision. For example if it's about women's reproductive health then only women can vote. The rest of the population can still participate by adding to the information stockpile for the voting booth. Another example is when it comes to war, only those who are enlisted are allowed to vote in favour of it to discourage an eagerness for violence
Just like the bank system the government is also unstaffed. There is only an AI controlling humanoid drones to complete tasks. It's also publicly surveyed (I find it interesting how the government is watched by people rather than the other way around) they also have a randomly selected maintenance team to work on the program running it. They're taken to work immediately to prevent anyone from bribing them. Even more public surveillance goes into their work
There is lots more finer details about their society but I unfortunately forgot it after years passed. I might remember more with time but this post already got ridiculously long. After the dream ended I just woke up home and was in a cold sweat because of how bizarrely detailed it was. My dreams are usually random junk that I forget completely the instant I wake up
Edit: format, typoes etc
Edit: Some people are accusing me of making it all up which is reasonable. All I can respond by is that I want absolutely nothing to do with this "message" and anyone is free to publish a book using it if they want to
Tldr: Had a dream, in which I was on board a ufo and was taught about an alien society. They valued happiness, self-actualization, and belonging. They introduced me to the concept of thoughtforms and how they affect our society. Their economy focused on equality, less waste, and innovation. They had an AI-operated bank and emphasized education and direct democracy
2023.05.30 01:24 fightless1 a form of therapy or tips when part of you wants to get better and another part wants to give up?
and i don't mean as in dbt (it felt too shallow and requires a lot of genuine willingness that i seem to lack), i mean more of a possible form of therapy or general approach of a therapist for people who are willing to admit they have a problem (personality disorder specifically) but feel an immense resistance for change at the same time. like is there an approach that can naturally increase willingness in a gentle way, that you go in feeling like you really want to give it up and slowly see a genuine light of hope start steadily growing within you again?
i feel like there's such a binary sorting with most healthcare professionals: either you want help or you don't. and if you aren't clear in wanting help, you obviously don't and therefore cannot be helped and get dropped because "you can't make someone change who doesn't want to" but nobody seems to consider it's more of a spectrum. and that sometimes wanting to give up comes from years of discouragement, disappointment and nothing really giving you a good reason to try.
this is kind of rambly but what i basically wonder is if there's a way to inspire the desire to get better deep down in someone who seems to be standing in their own way, fully aware of it, but unable to stop? any experiences, any pointers in therapist choice or alternative stuff? maybe something that can basically make it possible to do dbt in the first place and have it last? i hope this makes sense
submitted by fightless1 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
i feel like there's such a binary sorting with most healthcare professionals: either you want help or you don't. and if you aren't clear in wanting help, you obviously don't and therefore cannot be helped and get dropped because "you can't make someone change who doesn't want to" but nobody seems to consider it's more of a spectrum. and that sometimes wanting to give up comes from years of discouragement, disappointment and nothing really giving you a good reason to try.
this is kind of rambly but what i basically wonder is if there's a way to inspire the desire to get better deep down in someone who seems to be standing in their own way, fully aware of it, but unable to stop? any experiences, any pointers in therapist choice or alternative stuff? maybe something that can basically make it possible to do dbt in the first place and have it last? i hope this makes sense