Mister car wash

Clean and SFW

2012.11.16 18:06 ChinDeLonge Clean and SFW

Providing a clean, fast, and friendly experience to all redditors, CarWashPorn is the premiere spot for all car wash and car wash related enthusiasts!
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2012.07.01 13:55 For cars that need cleaning

Car wash professional? Work in manufacturing of car wash chemicals or equipment? Have a question for other like minded individuals?
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2008.05.22 20:35 Grand Rapids, MI, USA

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2023.06.09 03:55 muriduo AITA for saying my friend doesn’t want to dance with a guy past his prime?

My (20F) friend (19F) is a debutante in our city’s debutante ball for charity. She’s been extremely busy the past few weeks preparing for the start of her summer internship, which is across the country. So her parents asked me if I could find her a suitable cavalier, which is the young man who will escort her.
Generally cavaliers are handsome guys our age who almost any girl would want to dance with. My friend has dreamed about the ball for years, so it’s a great responsibility for me to find the perfect guy. There’s plenty of eligible attractive guys we know from school.
But this older man (mid-30s) who lives in our neighborhood somehow heard I’m searching for a cavalier to escort my friend, and he has approached me several times nominating himself. I find it super creepy, and even said to another friend that it’s giving groomer. I don’t know why any guy his age would think my 19-year-old friend is attracted to him. Cavaliers are supposed to be college-aged.
I politely said before I think there’s some guys our own age who are interested in taking my friend.
He approached me again when I was getting the mail. He got out of his car and asked if I found someone for my friend, and said he’s “highly interested” if not. I said my friend isn’t really into older men. This man literally has eye wrinkles, to give you an idea.
He still didn’t take the hint. I was like “look, why do you think a teenage girl wants to dance with some 35-year-old dude who has hit the wall. Do you think Cinderella wanted a Prince Charming who’s past his prime?”
The guy said through gritted teeth that he’ll be “speaking to her and her parents himself” and that I’m clearly some “silly 20-year-old” who doesn’t know about dating. He sped off like a lunatic. AITA for being blunt that my friend doesn’t want a washed up cavalier and that it would be super weird?
submitted by muriduo to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:55 khoafraelich789 When is the best time to buy a car?

When is the best time to buy a car?

https://preview.redd.it/m6th7lwefw4b1.png?width=912&format=png&auto=webp&s=0641f2f5b07f62db33ee96d53e2b5a576e5fd34e
With steep inflation and record-high vehicle transaction prices — up 3.8 percent since last year according to Kelley Blue Book — understanding the best time to buy can mean money saved. While there is no perfect recipe for scoring a good deal, some times are better than others.

The best time to buy a car is usually around the end of the year since salespeople will be trying to meet their quotas and may offer steep discounts. However, you should also consider holidays — like Black Friday — and the beginning of the week.

Three of the best times to buy a car
Timing is critical to buying a car. And certain months of the year and days of the week are better than others.

  1. Mondays
Monday can be the best day of the week to buy a new car. Other potential shoppers are often at work, so representatives at car dealerships are focused on anyone who comes in the door.

“Come Monday, everyone has made a lot of good sales and enjoyed the activity of a busy weekend,” says Brian Moody, executive editor at Autotrader. “If you call or email a dealer on a Monday, there is a chance that you’re going to get either a better deal or simply more attention. If the person has more time, they might throw in something extra such as free oil changes or free car washes.”

  1. End of the year, month and model year
In terms of the best time of the year, October, November and December are safe bets. Car dealerships have sales quotas, which typically break down into yearly, quarterly and monthly sales goals. All three goals begin to come together late in the year.

“The end of the month, the end of the quarter, the end of any period is usually a good time to go,” Moody says. “That’s when there might be bonus opportunities for the salesperson or the dealer that give them extra incentive to want you to leave in a new car.”

In addition to the end of the calendar year, it’s important to keep an eye on the end of the model year — when the newest versions will start hitting the road. Moody says manufacturers generally begin releasing new cars in fall, but there are some exceptions.

“If you pay a little bit of attention to see when the press is starting to share reviews about new cars, it means the release is imminent,” Moody says.

If you’re considering buying an older model, it’s wise to wait for the most updated version to roll out.

“While you might be able to land a deal on the older model, it’s wise to consider holding out for the updated version. It’s very rare that an all-new version of a model comes out, and it’s $5,000 more,” he says. “It’s usually a few hundred dollars more, but it includes all kinds of new features and better gas mileage.”

  1. Holidays
Holiday sales can also offer deep discounts. Here are a few holidays that are especially great for buying a car:

Presidents Day: The first few months of the year tend to be slow for all consumer activity, including auto sales, but some manufacturers work to spur spending over Presidents Day weekend.
Memorial Day: Summer is typically among the most expensive times of year to buy a car, but dealers tend to cut prices back around Memorial Day. Next year’s models often trickle out around midyear, reducing the price of cars already on the lot. Beware of big crowds, though. As the weather improves, other buyers may be looking to score the start-of-summer deals.
July Fourth: Plenty of dealers will work to entice car buyers around the celebration of America’s independence. However, if you don’t need a car immediately, consider whether you can hold out for potentially bigger discounts available closer to the end of the year.
Labor Day: The unofficial end of the summer is officially one of the busiest times for buying a new car. According to Zo Rahim, former economics and industry insights manager at Cox Automotive, the week of Labor Day accounts for more than 2 percent of all new car sales in an entire calendar year.
Black Friday: Car dealerships join the Black Friday sales craze, just like the rest of the retail industry. In addition to manufacturer-offered incentives, you may be able to get better deals from your salesperson. “For example, around Christmas, the person who’s helping you might want to get home to his or her family and be more eager to wrap up the sale,” Moody says.
New Year’s Eve: If you can swing it, New Year’s Eve may be one of the best days of the year to shop for a car. Salespeople could be facing monthly, quarterly or yearly quotas on New Year’s Eve, and if they meet their sales goals, they could earn a hefty bonus. This could make finding a favorable deal easier.
How to get the best deal at the dealership
Regardless of when you decide to buy a car, you will need more than perfect timing to get a good deal. Consider the following tips to get the best auto loan rate no matter the calendar timing.

Know what you can afford. Calculate expected monthly payments to have a strong gauge of what you can afford. Analyzing your finances will help you know which rates you will qualify for.
Get a few quotes. It’s wise to get a few quotes from direct auto finance lenders. This way you can gauge if the dealer is offering you a good deal.
Research. Do some upfront research on vehicles and lenders. On top of this do your homework to help you avoid common car-buying mistakes and give you negotiating power when you arrive at the dealership.
Improve credit. While interest rates are based on a few factors, your credit score serves as a larger determinant of your APR. Take the time to better your credit before applying for loans to get the most competitive rate.

2022 car buying market considerations
Global parts shortages resulting from the coronavirus pandemic and supply chain issues have caused car prices to skyrocket. CBS reported that the shortage could continue through 2023.

The J.D. Power predicts average transaction prices to reach $45,971 in the third quarter of 2022, which will be a 10.3 percent increase from the same time last year. A higher demand and a lower supply are contributing to this price increase.

Unfortunately, these supply chain issues will likely thwart any discounts drivers may typically benefit from this holiday season. Thomas King, president of the data and analytics division at J.D Power, notes that “The average incentive spend per vehicle is tracking toward $936, a decrease of 47.8 percent from a year ago.”

As dealers try to make back lost profits, prices will likely remain high. In October 2022, Kelley Blue Book found that shoppers in the non-luxury segment paid on average $690 above sticker price. These prices continue to climb for both new and used cars, according to Experian.

If you are looking to buy a new or used car, this lean inventory and competitive market will likely mean that you will pay a higher base price and receive fewer discounts until the shortage is resolved.

The bottom line
Waiting for the best time to buy a car requires patience. If you can hold off on a purchase, time can be your ally. Although pricing isn’t currently in consumers’ favor, keep an eye out for incentives and deals during upcoming holidays to maximize your savings.

Narrowing your top car choices and picking the right time of year to buy a car — or the right month or day — can help you save thousands.

Source: bankrate
submitted by khoafraelich789 to CarInformationNews [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:49 Massive_Level_7127 What Are The Advantages of Wireless Bluetooth Bone Conduction Headphones and How Do They Work?

What Are The Advantages of Wireless Bluetooth Bone Conduction Headphones and How Do They Work?
I believe you also have the common experience that when we eat cookies, even if we cover our ears, we can hear the cracking sound of cookies. Or when we scratch our head, we hear the sound of fingers rubbing against our head. This is actually the most common example of bone conduction.The vibration of a cookie or the friction of the head is transmitted through the skull to our inner ear, which helps us to hear sound. This sound transmission method has also been cleverly applied by scientists to wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones, and in the past 2 years, they have become the most popular digital product.

What are the advantages of wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones?

First of all, because they use the principle of bone conduction to transmit sound instead of air conduction, most wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones do not affect the acquisition of ambient sound by both ears when used. Therefore, it is very safe when you use it outdoors, and you will not ignore the possible dangers because you are immersed in the music when wearing it.

Secondly, because most of the them are close to the hard bone position (beside the ear), instead of directly blocking the ear canal like in-ear headphones, or clamping the soft tissue of the ear like clip-on headphones.After wearing wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones for a long time,ear damage cause of Headphones is much less than in-ear headphones or clip-on headphones. For example, if you wear them for four hours, clip-on headphones may cause your ears to hurt unbearably, but even if you wear wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones for a long time, you will basically feel nothing. Therefore, they are very comfortable to wear.
On top of that, common headphones can clog the ear canal, leading to the growth of a lot of bacteria that can lead to ear infections. Wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones do not have these effects because they do not need to be worn in the ear, and they will not rub against the external auditory canal when worn. So they are more suitable for people with oily ears, otitis media, small ears, and some people with sensitive ears because they do not need to be inserted into the ears. They are also more suitable for people who need to wear headphones for a long time. Therefore, wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones are very healthy.
Wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones have relatively little hearing damage, because hearing damage generally occurs in the eardrum and inner ear, while wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones directly bypass the eardrum to avoid eardrum damage. Moreover, the vibration waves of them are relatively moderate, and the impact on auditory hair cells will be less, so the damage to hearing caused by them is minimal. For these reasons, wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones have become very popular these years.
Of course, wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones are not perfect, and they have their drawbacks.
The first is that the sound quality is not as good as traditional headphones because of its wearing method. Due to its design characteristics, the anti-interference effect is not ideal in noisy environments such as shopping, taking the subway, and taking a car. Because it is transmitted to the ear ossicles through the skin and skull, so their degree of music reproduction is not as good as traditional in-ear headphones.

The second is that the phenomenon of sound leakage still needs to be overcome. If there is a common problem with wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones, it is the problem of sound leakage. Although major manufacturers are trying to improve the sound leakage, judging from the actual status, sound leakage still exists in the headphones. Of course, mainstream wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphone brands, such as wissonly and Aftershokz, have made a lot of efforts to improve the sound leakage of wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones, and have almost solved the sound leakage problem.
In general, wireless bone conduction headphones have more advantages than disadvantages, which is why they are becoming more and more popular.Their advantages and disadvantages are determined by the way they work.

How do wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones work?

When it comes to the working principle of wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones, you must first understand the "essence of sound". Simply put, the sounds we hear every day are vibrations in the air. For example, have you ever seen a scene of “loud high-pitched sound shatters a glass window”on TV? This phenomenon is caused by the treble that transmits strong air vibrations to the glass window, causing the glass window to resonate.
We hear sound as vibrations in the air. Sound travels through the ear canal to the eardrum, then through a spiral organ called the cochlea to the brain, where it is finally perceived by us. While standard headphones that fit into the ear canal use this "standard" path to transmit air vibrations to the brain, wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones work quite differently.

The sound transmission path of standard headphones: sound source vibration → external auditory canal → eardrum → cochlea → brain
The sound transmission path of wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones: sound source vibration → skull → cochlea → brain
So, with wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones, you can enjoy music without ear canals or eardrums. wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones do not need to be plugged into the ear canal when worn, which will cause less damage to the eardrum and better hygiene for the ear canal, so they are the healthiest headphones.
Bone conduction headphones are safer than common headphones,and they have a lot of advantages, They are your best sports headphones.So how can you find your most suitable one of them? Let me recommend a few headphones.

1, Wissonly Hi Runner wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones


Reason for recommendation:
As a veteran electronic product fans, I can responsibly tell you that the Wissonly wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones are true bone conduction, which can protect hearing, so they are recommended by many otologists.
At the same time, Wissonly Hi Runner is also very good in terms of sound quality. It uses a 360 surround vibration unit, which can increase the vibration area by 35% compared with traditional wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones.They reduces the loss during bone conduction sound transmission, and which makes the sound more powerful.
Wissonly Hi Runner wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones are made of memory titanium that can be self-adjusted, which can ensure that the headphones have a good wearing experience and take into account more users.
In terms of functionality, as the flagship model of Wissonly Brand, Wissonly Hi Runner supports IPX8 waterproof level which is higher than the industry standard, and it can be worn in diving. It is equipped with 32G body memory, as well as the latest Bluetooth 5.0. Its product performance and experience have been comprehensively improved, truly making wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones suitable for more life scenarios.

2. Philips A6606 wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones


Reason for recommendation:
Philips A6606 is very pleasant to touch, especially the side is softer and touches the skin. It looks like an advanced product on hand. And the charging joint soft plug of the headphone and the gap between different parts are smooth, and the overall workmanship is quite good.
It supports for dual-microphone stereo calls, and is made very well in terms of call quality. A6606 supports mobile phone APP control, if a call comes in during running or cycling, it can be connected by simply touching the left unit, which will not affect the safety of riding. And bone conduction sound pickup technology + dual noise-canceling microphones can also filter out the wind noise during moving forward, and the call effect is guaranteed.

3.AfterShokz OPENRUN PRO wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones


Reason for recommendation:
AfterShokz Openrun Pro's headphones are very light, weighs only 26g. It's very light and comfortable to run on your ears. The whole machine is made of titanium alloy, and the headphones on both sides are wrapped with skin-friendly silica gel, which make it has a IP67 waterproof grade. It can be drenched in the rain, splashed with water and washed, and there is no problem even in bad weather during outdoor sports. The structure adopts the back-hanging design and can't be worn in the ear, which is very friendly to users who often wears it. The whole machine is also equipped with Bluetooth 5.0 three-core chip, which can realize fast connection, stable sound quality connection within 10 meters, and intelligent identification by algorithm, which can effectively filter the ambient sound and make the voice clearer.

4.Earsopen peace tw-1 wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones


Reason for recommendation:
It is IP67 waterproof grade, easily resistant to sweat, and even capable of a short immersion underwater, but not suitable for swimming. The lightweight body just weighs 9g,its clip-on wearing method is novel.At the same time,It has a certain stability. But it is not suitable for long-term wear, and there will be a lot of discomfort.

5.Moing wireless Bluetooth bone conduction headphones


Reason for recommendation:
The overall experience is average, but the price is low, so it is worth trying.
It weighs only 30g, so it can be worn for a long time without burden. Streamlined sinking design is adopted, which fits the ear shape when wearing. Its body is made of memory alloy material, so you don't have to worry about deformation after bending for many times. The overall configuration of Moing is good, Bluetooth 5.0. Titanium alloy frame, built-in power capacity of 200mAh, and it supports 6 hours of battery life.
If you are still confused about how to choose wireless bone conduction headphones, I suggest you choose Wissonly or Aftershokz. Their R&D teams have more than 10 years of technical experience in this field, which makes their products perform well in terms of sound quality and sound leakage reduction. If you consider the cost performance ratio, it is recommended to choose Wissonly.
submitted by Massive_Level_7127 to HeyNewGadget [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:36 timscookingtips Waited in line at the car wash 20 minutes only for Babe Winkledork to forget he had rods in the bed.

Waited in line at the car wash 20 minutes only for Babe Winkledork to forget he had rods in the bed. submitted by timscookingtips to Wellthatsucks [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:22 autotldr Russia carries out missile attack on Uman, 8 people injured

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 57%. (I'm a bot)
On the evening of 8 June, Russian troops launched a missile strike on the Uman district of Cherkasy Oblast; according to preliminary information, eight people have been injured.
"Quote:"An evening with an air-raid siren and consequences.
The enemy again launched a missile strike on our Uman region.
We have two strikes: at an industrial facility and a car wash.
Details: Telegram channels report that the strike hit Uman.
On Thursday evening, an air-raid alert was announced in all oblasts of Ukraine.
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: strike#1 Uman#2 evening#3 report#4 hit#5
Post found in /worldnews.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
submitted by autotldr to autotldr [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:20 BlinkWoshy06 Pressure Washing Business

Hello! i’m a 17 year old girl and i currently work as an electrician. i have thought about other ways to make money and learn more about business over the summer, and i thought the idea of pressure washing would be cool
my main concerns are that i drive a tiny mini cooper sports car, and i’m 5’2 so i’m not sure how high i could pressure wash buildings
has anyone here started a pressure washing business before? where did you start and how did it go? is there anything you know that could help me get started or advice?
thank you!
submitted by BlinkWoshy06 to sweatystartup [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:18 BlinkWoshy06 Pressure Washing Business

Hello! i’m a 17 year old girl and i currently work as an electrician. i have thought about other ways to make money and learn more about business over the summer, and i thought the idea of pressure washing would be cool
my main concerns are that i drive a tiny mini cooper sports car, and i’m 5’2 so i’m not sure how high i could pressure wash buildings
has anyone here started a pressure washing business before? where did you start and how did it go? is there anything you know that could help me get started or advice?
thank you!
submitted by BlinkWoshy06 to pressurewashing [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:18 DSanchez35 Soap Sprayer Hose Attachment

Are those hose attachments that spray soap really worth it? I've heard mixed opinions. I'm just casually washing my car and I've heard its sometimes better to keep it touchless. Any other tips would also be appreciated.
submitted by DSanchez35 to AutoDetailing [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 03:16 BlinkWoshy06 Pressure Washing Business

Hello! i’m a 17 year old girl and i currently work as an electrician. i have thought about other ways to make money and learn more about business over the summer, and i thought the idea of pressure washing would be cool
my main concerns are that i drive a tiny mini cooper sports car, and i’m 5’2 so i’m not sure how high i could pressure wash buildings
has anyone here started a pressure washing business before? where did you start and how did it go? is there anything you know that could help me get started or advice?
thank you!
submitted by BlinkWoshy06 to BlueCollarWomen [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:49 thecleancupboard Having guests stay…

Hi, I would love some help on this situation.
I (M22) and my girlfriend (F22) are a looking at renting a 2 bedroom city centre flat in the UK. The reason for 2 bedroom as we want to live with my friend (M22) who’s a student. We keep getting rejected despite him offering landlords to pay his share upfront because they don’t want to deal with students.
We’ve seen a 2 bedroom property we like again and have a viewing though the description states the 2 bedroom flat is “Suitable for a professional couple (not 2 professionals”
Now say if we rent the place with no mention of our friend on the tennancy, and let’s publicly say our friend isn’t paying us any rent (he’s just conveniently paying us £500 every month to wash his car 😉) can the landlord object to us having a guest stay in the spare bedroom for however long we want. Like how can he when we’re not ‘subletting’. It’s going to be a confusing situation and would love opinions.
submitted by thecleancupboard to renting [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:34 Electronic-Bear-8271 I puked all over my Bf's car, and somehow it was the most wholesome time I've had this year

This semester has DESTROYED me (21F). A beloved great aunt died, I've had some really bad depression and anxiety, I'm failing physiology 1, and if I don't pass ill be dropped from med school (btw I don't like in the US).
My family had a party last week end, usually I don't drink more than a glass of wine, but I wanted to de stress so I had 3 glasses on an empty stomach.
Before the 3rd glass could get to my head, my BF (22M) picked me up from the party. The moment I got in to his car, I just went out of service. My memory of the car ride is blurry, all I can remember is him repeatedly asking me to drink some water and asking what food he should buy since I should really eat something.
What he says happened is that after me not responding, he just gave up on asking what I wanted and just decided to get down at a corner store to get some saltiness and some Gatorade. I personally just remember that once the car stopped, the nausea started. Once he got back to the car and began driving again, he asked if I had to puke. I couldn't awnser but I guess the look in my face was a dead giveaway, because he just started repeating "ok, give me 10 seconds to pull up", but I didn't even get to second number 5.
It was baaaaad. I have really long hair that was lose and all over my face, so when it happened, my hair got drenched, and so did my clothes and the passenger door.
Once it was all out, I regained a bit of my consciousness, and I was terrified. I had never farted, burped and much less puked in front of him, much less all over his car.
After finally stopping and looking at the damage, I started balling my eyes out. The guilt of puking all over his car and being drenched in it was freaking me out, but he was as cool as a cucumber and just asked me to hold on tight until we got to his house.
The rest of the car ride I was freaking out about his parents seeing me like that, but he assured me that it would be alright since they already know me and love me, and that they wouldn't care, but I was still losing it.
Once he pulled up to the house, his sister ran out the door and helped me get in to the bathroom to wash up. She washed my hair and helped me get in to a clean set of clothes, but also told me that she'd noticed how badly stressed I was during that last couple months. She reassured me that everything would be OK. She told me how much my bf and his family loved and supported me, and how in a couple of days, this would all just be a funny anecdote.
After a whole hour in a half in the bathroom, talking and getting all cleaned up. Once we exited the bathroom, his mother kindly asked how I was doing and what kind on soup would I like.
She told me how I've already known her and the rest of the family for over 3 years now, and I've seen them drunk, sick and tired, so I should feel so self conscious. She also told me how loved I was and that they were happy to help with anything I needed.
My bf came back later in the night after washing the car door (thankfully he has those heavy duty car mats so the only victim of the mess was the car door and the mat). He joked about how we should buy barf bags for the car, since this was the SECOND TIME this happened in one week since after picking up his sister from a club she was at she also puked in the car.
The night ended with his mother, sister and I watching Turning Red while eating some soup, followed by some ice cream.
I felt so loved and supported during all of it. Most of all I felt so loved by my bf, who assures that he still loves me, and that a little puke would never change that.
Just wanted to share my some what nasty/wholesome story. Remember to never drink on an empty stomach!
submitted by Electronic-Bear-8271 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:24 CrownMeee Power washing and car detailing services

Anyone in Modesto in need of car detailing services or any services that require power washing?
submitted by CrownMeee to Modesto [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:23 FriendshipTall7183 Anyone in Modesto looking for car detailing services or services involving power washing. Message me for more information

Title ^
submitted by FriendshipTall7183 to Modesto [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:06 fpweeks If you’re going to start a new hobby you may as well do it both feet first.

If you’re going to start a new hobby you may as well do it both feet first.
Decided to stop taking my car to the auto wash and fell in the rabbit hole. After a few washes with the crappy pressure washer hose and wand I had I decided to go all in with a new kobrajet hose on a coxreel and an MTM SGS28 wand.
submitted by fpweeks to AutoDetailing [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:57 Shimmerunit Anyone know of any “Octopus” car wash in Vic?

Anyone know of any “Octopus” car wash in Vic?
My partner and myself are huge fans of these kinds of car washes but we’re new to the island and don’t really know our way around yet. Anyone have any leads?
submitted by Shimmerunit to VictoriaBC [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:50 TrippyShipwreck Wanted my S/O to have a better life, majorly messed mine up instead. I have no idea what to do, and I don't have anyone to talk to, so here I am, another person turning to to reddit. I've got no idea what I'm hoping to accomplish, I just need to get this off my chest before I lose my mind over it.

Warning in advance, this is gonna be long. I'll try and keep it short as I can without omitting necessary context. This is a fake account, so nobody knows who I am. I'll be using fake names obviously. At this point in my life, I have essentially lost my closest friends and the love of my life, and have never felt so alone and despaired in my entire life. I just need to get this out there and off my chest, as I don't know who to talk to about it and it's been burning away at the very core of my soul for the greater part of three whole years now.
So anyhow. Rewind for context. It's about 3 years in the past when the relevant story begins, maybe a bit more. I'm 27M now, but was probably 24, maybe 25 at the time? I grew up pretty poor, but my parents had a real "you can accomplish anything through hard work" type of mentality, especially once they had their first and only child, me. That same work ethic was pounded into me my entire upbringing, and for the most part, it took. I watched them work from a ramshackle mobile home in the boonies to what seemed at the time to be a suburban castle in an upper-end neighborhood in the span of maybe ten years. I was an exceptional student, and had earned myself a partial scholarship in academics to a university where I was to major in mechanical engineering. Not to brag, but logically speaking, I am a VERY intelligent individual. I'd completed my college calculus, chemistry, and physics classes my junior year of high school. Common sense wise however, I had a LOT of growing up to do. I ended up having a child with a girl I didn't even stay together with my senior year of high school, and washed a large part of my potential down the drain (which I've regretted for some time), but still decided to roll with the punches and make the most of it. My parents, who were now quite wealthy, essentially disowned me for my mistake. Despite this, I ended up going to trade school funded by my employer while juggling new fatherhood, and landed a decent blue collar job where I had potential to make enough money to support myself, even though I had to suffer through two hard years of college working part time for near minimum wage.
This is where Elise came in. She was a few years younger than me, and probably one of the most beautiful women I had (to this day) ever laid eyes on. When we met, I was horribly depressed and spent most of my time avoiding custody with my son in leu of going out and binge drinking and partying. I was mad at myself for squandering my potential. Elise had issues of her own, her parents were horrendously abusive religious extremists, who abused her both physically and mentally. She'd been gaslighted by her parents to the point that they practically dover her to a depression-ridden madness, then tried to lie about her mental state to doctors and psychiatrists to force her into institutionalization at the age of 17. All the while, her male siblings were treated like royalty, with their college being fully funded by their parents, and numerous accommodations made to ensure they succeeded in life. Elise too was VERY intelligent, probably more so than myself, but for whatever reason, her parents treated her like a stray animal which they despised having to even bear living with. For some reason which I still don't quite fathom, she saw something in me. We both were at a point where our lives had hit a slump, and we both were trying (unsuccessfully) to fill the bottomless chasm inside with drinking, partying, and everything in between. What we both needed more than anything was someone to have our backs, a partner to cling to even when the world around us was falling apart. That is exactly what we became.
Elise was by my side when I came back from college and my parents kicked me out. I had nowhere to go, and nobody to turn to, but she let me crash on her couch in her apartment. She never once made me feel like the failure I believed myself to be. She loved and supported me at my lowest, when I had absolutely nothing to offer. My intelligence quickly made me stand out at my blue-collar job, which was commission based pay, and before long, I found myself 21 years old making close to 75k a year. I saved up my money, and with Elise at my side, purchased my first home. I began to fill it's garage with things that I'd only dreamed I'd be able to one day afford- a brand new four wheeler, a motorcycle, etc... It seemed I had finally made it, except for one crucial catch. I was living MY dream. Not Elise's. Mine. See, Elise had dreams of her own, similar to how I did. She wanted to go to school and go into the medical field, and she wanted to own and care for animals (similar to my love for all things 4-wheel and off-road).
This is where it all went wrong, somewhere in the last of the 3 years we spent together. More accurately, this is where I went wrong. I lay awake at night still, three years later, kicking myself about all the things I should have done different. I was so driven by my own success and my own pursuit of happiness, that I kind of just... put her dreams and desires on the back-burner. She didn't really want children at that point in time, but as I had partial custody of my own, I was constantly overruling her plans with plans to do "family activities" with my son, Jack. I constantly criticized her for having "no maternal instinct" or "being incapable of dealing with real world issues". When our weekends weren't consumed by Jack, I was dragging her on some ridiculous adventure of my choosing, often with little regards to what she actually wanted to do. While Elise did not pay any rent, which I had agreed to in order to allow her to devote her income to attending college, I began to resent her for it. Like seriously. What in the actual fuck is wrong with me. The wedge between us was only drove deeper by time, and my own selfish actions. It's worth mentioning too that her family HATED me. They viewed me as trash, which, in itself didn't bother me. It was when her mother reached out to me and told me that she would pay Elise's full tuition if I stopped seeing her. That was really the straw on the camel's back. This is important later on.
Fast forward towards the end of the last year. My selfish bastard energy had peaked at this point, and Elise was mentally and emotionally shelled, from working full time, attending college full time, and dealing with me being the narcissistic ass I was. I was angry because I felt she was trying to drive a wedge between my son and I (a wedge that, later in life I discovered I had been driving myself due to my own harbored resentment against my child and his mother because I blamed them instead of myself for jipping me out of college and consigning me to the rest of my life as an "idiot blue collar worker"). I feel so stupid looking back, as I now realize that it was entirely my fault, and I should have just accepted that instead of blaming my mistakes on everyone around me. Anyhow, the tension finally snapped. We got in a HUGE fight, which is significant, because we never really fought. All of my bottled up anger and depression and everything else spewed out as I shouted and hurled insults like some sort of half-witted drunkard, and halfway through, I realized that my anger scared the absolute shit out of her. It was in that moment, it was like that scene in a cartoon where the imbecilic character finally manages to understand a simple concept. I realized that while I had been so busy blaming everyone around me for my lack of success, it was actually all my fault. Meanwhile, Elise's lack of success actually COULD be blamed on me. I was the one holding her back. It was because of me she couldn't get college funding from her parents and had to work so hard to pay for it. It was my lack of consideration that had always prevented her from adopting animals, or even taking her opinion seriously when I bought the house, with only my best interests in mind. It was my decision to constantly try to force her to fill a "stepmom" role that somehow I had just realized was taking away from her ability to actually pursue her own interests and hobbies. In all reality, it all just kind of hit me. I hated myself. I mean truly hated myself to the core. Some part of me came to the realization that she would be better off without me. Her parents would pay for her school. She could get a degree, a good job, chase her passions... in the end, it was me who broke it off. I just felt it was the right thing to do at that point, rather than drag her down in the black hole of ME. I still remember the evil smirk her mother gave me and she helped pack Elise's things in the back of her car. Not wanting to leave Elise high and dry, I gave her the car we had bought together, which wasn't much, but it was reliable so she could go to school or work or whatever. I also gave her a highly modified 4x4 we had built together. Figured it was hers anyhow, and she could sell it for a decent amount of money if need be.
Fast forward a little bit. Shortly after Elise and I ended things, I met someone else. She seemed equally sweet, and was somewhat attractive. I could not have been more wrong. We'll call her Carrie. She proved to be a raging alcoholic, and ironically, treated me exactly how I treated Elise, but tenfold worse. She was far more narcissistic than I ever thought about being. She would get drunk and ruin my things, throwing my clothes in the yard, breaking my stuff, etc... and would often insult me. She teased that I was smart because I "Must be autistic, and that means I'm some sort of retard", or telling me that I'm a terrible father because I don't fight to see my child more, and I should just give up custody. She told me once that "no matter how hard I work, I'll always be the same trash that came from that trailer park as a child" ...I was still in such a fragile mental state, I just... let it happen. Honestly, a part of me believed I deserved it. I am Agnostic, but still in the back of my head I couldn't help but wonder, "Is God real, and is this his way of punishing me?" I sold my house and moved into a crappy apartment far from my hometown. Honestly I just couldn't handle all the memories of what it had used to be such a happy place but had now turned into a hell I just wanted to escape. I lost my job, and had to take a much harder job for significantly less pay. Carrie had cleverly used my depression to manipulate me and isolate me from my friends, avoid mending bridges with my family, and escalated my custody to the point that I actually lost what little I did have. I was broken. No, I was absolutely shattered. ....but hey, I deserved it, right? I felt so bad about how I had treated Elise that I convinced myself I did. I'd simply cry myself to sleep and try to hold on to whatever happy memory I could of our life together.
It all changed one day. I hit "point fuck it". I had loaded my Mossberg 12-gauge, racked a single shell, and put the weapon to the underside of my chin. I pulled the trigger.
*click*
.
.
.
The gun had jammed. Or misfired. Or SOMETHING. But whatever had happened, it did not fire the shell loaded into it's chamber. About then I heard Carrie open the front door to the apartment. From the bedroom, I quickly hid the gun under a pile of laundry, and lept into bed, pretending to be asleep but silently sobbing into the pillow. I remember thinking to myself "If you're out there, God, than fuck you."

Fast forward to PRESENT DAY. If you've read this far, thank you. Seriously.
Following the gun incident, something snapped in me, for the better. I started talking to a therapist (in secret, because I knew it would be a weakness Carrie would exploit to insult and degrade me). I have began to get my shit together, and bought a small home. Shortly after buying the home however, I landed a new job. This is where everything got really crazy. The new job was at a dumpster fire of a company. I quit after 30 days. When I informed my supervisor, he was shocked. I got called into a meeting (which I agreed to) with some guys I'd never seen before, and they began asking me why I wanted to quit so quickly after joining the team. I calmly began to explain everything I thought was wrong with the company. How I could predict based on my own daily gross profit that the entire business must be losing money at an alarming rate, and close to going under if they aren't there already. How management was spineless to make improvements, dismiss toxic employees, etc... This went on for several hours. At the end of it all, a tall man stands up and says, "Do you know who I am?". I sheepishly admit that I don't. "I'm one of the owners of this company". I chuckle nervously. Then he looks me dead in the eyes, and says "You're absolutely right, you know. I can tell by talking to you, you're FAR more intelligent than I would have ever guessed. How would you feel about actually making all the changes you just talked about? How would you feel about running this store?" I. WAS. FLOORED. Needless to say, I didn't think I could do it. But a year later, I've now got the store breaking records for profits. I've got a paycheck that looks like somebody fat-fingered the keyboard, and the owners LOVE me. I've went on to get everything I ever wanted- almost. I've got a vacation cabin with a side-by-side (and even a small one for my kid), I'm mending relations with friends and family, I've continued talking to a therapist (who REFUSES to give relationship advice), I've got a nice truck and drive a luxury car, but, no matter how many material things I buy, there is still a hole inside. The same hole that has been there for the last 3 years. Carrie is still around. She got sober about a year ago, and cleaned up her act. We've been mostly issue free for a year, but somehow, I just don't know if I can ever forgive the horrible things she has done. She's asked about proposal and marriage, but when she does, I get this feeling in my heart and stomach that feels like pure bottled concentrated fear. I still have nightmares about her honestly, and sometimes, on REALLY good nights, I have dreams that Elise and I are together again, in a beautiful home with a beautiful family.
In conclusion, I've got one more really tough choice to make. I could accept Carrie has changed, and lead out my life with her, knowing I will always secretly have a hole inside where Elise used to be. I have no idea where Elise actually is in life now. I hope she graduated college. I hope she found happiness. I know through the small town grapevine that she never did end up settling down with anyone, for whatever reason. Honestly, I wanna take the risk. Even if I fail, at least I can say that I tried. Hell, maybe I'd be able to finally move on after all this time. In doing so, I know I'll burn Carrie's bridge for good, and honestly, part of me doesn't care. Even If she was horrid to me, however, I still can't bear the thought of possibly hurting her. I guess my experiences have made me soften up, arguably a bit too much. So here I sit, on a company paid vacation near the beautiful beaches, bills paid, belly full... ...so why the hell do I still feel so damn empty inside?
All I know is that I've come too far to blow it all now.
submitted by TrippyShipwreck to RelationshipAdviceNow [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:42 JTRiv860 Black spots on white vehicle

Anyone experiencing any issues on their vehicles? Of course we get loads of pollen on our cars every day, but I noticed these little black spots since Tuesday. I’m assuming it’s from the Canada fires? Didn’t come off with a standard car wash, by the way. Really gotta scrub em off.
submitted by JTRiv860 to Connecticut [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:30 LEAPSKing Can I be a Tasker who specializes in automobile interior detailing?

Hi all,
I'd consider becoming a Tasker as a side hustle if there's a category for catruck interior detailing (Not outside car washing or detailing). Thoughts? Possible?
Thanks!
submitted by LEAPSKing to TaskRabbit [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:11 No_Bowler3823 Meghan is so pathetic that she has spent the last few days spamming this subs mods with reports/flags LOL. Jokes on her bc each one gets reported to Reddit for report button abuse. Keep going girl, it literally brings me joy to see how obsessed you are and can’t do shit about it.

Meghan is so pathetic that she has spent the last few days spamming this subs mods with reports/flags LOL. Jokes on her bc each one gets reported to Reddit for report button abuse. Keep going girl, it literally brings me joy to see how obsessed you are and can’t do shit about it.
Also, nothing here will ever be taken down because it’s not “personal & confidential” if she shares it on the internet first, herself. Maybe stop being so parched for attention and we’d have nothing to post. So busy being a ‘FULL TIME SINGLE MOM (lie), with a FULL TIME JOB (lie)’
submitted by No_Bowler3823 to meghanking [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:06 Star-Shooters So Upset and Can't Focus on Master's Program

I really feel like this pre-dental group is family-like group where we get to share difficulties and struggles along our predential journey. I am posting this today to at least feel a little bit better by sharing the story that I can't share with anybody else. This may not be directly related to dentistry, but because of this incident I can't study or do anything, impacting hugely negatively towards this application cycle.
First, it's about my brother's girlfriend. This b**** always sleeps over at my brother's room whenever she comes over for a weekend at my house, where I live with my parents and grandparents. This was super disrespectful and doesn't make any sense how can a girl freakin' sleep with a guy IN FRONT OF her boyfriend's PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS. Like WTF. But with opened heart, my family didn't say anything.
Until, when it was Saturday night when we had a plan to go see my cousin's family early on Sunday morning my brother and she came back from a 'lantern festival' passed 12 AM at night. I have 2 dogs and they barked so bad and both my grandparents woke up bc of it and they basically woke all of my family members up.
The story gets funny here. When she got off of my bro's car, she literally ditched my mom, who stayed up til 12AM to welcome them back home and even walked to the garage to say hi. She looked mad. but still, ditching an adult like that? So disrespectful. My mom asked her to come over and asked what happened and she said she was upset the way my mom talked to my brother over the phone because my mom told my brother that she has to go home that night (since we had a plan to go see my cousins family in the morning in the next day). But it turned out, she already knew that from my brother bc he told her about it earlier. But she still didn't care about the family plan we had. Then she started crying. Now that I think about it, there was no reason to cry other than bc she was upset that she couldn't sleep with my bro that night. Then my mom told her (nicely) that she is worried about her mother as well - bc she's only 21 yo- when she is sleeping over a guy's house for couple of days all the time. My brother, who saw her crying started to flip out at my mom for "yelling at her". And since then, my family has been on a disaster.
That night, she left like that and I heard her voice when my brother was FaceTiming her in his bedroom next to my room. She said things like, "I'm so fucking upset okay, baby?", "I was embarrassed, she shouldn't have done that", "This is not Ganna get better and I think we're Ganna talk about this forever, baby", "If it doesn't get better can you leave your family and come to me? - said this shit twice", "I even brought her a bakery today but she didn't seem appreciated ----(BRO. She ate like 3 meals that my mom cooked for her over the weekend all the time and never even offered to clean up or wash dishes for her. Not even a thank you)", and she even said "don't even say a single word to your family, okay baby?" "then maybe you can sleep at my mom's house, baby" "I asked my mom to sleep over at your house tonight, your mom is so fucking annoying".
I was shocked. A 21 year old funking messing up with my 28 yo brother, trying to seat on top of his head and control him over to separate him from my family. I'm so upset bc I can't say shit to her bc then my brother will try to be aggressive with me and will only make the situation worse. I get that she lives with her single mom and nobody really 'educates' her about this stuff and her alcoholic and abusive dad divorced her, but bro this is just a common sense to respect elderly people and NOT sleeping with a guy infront of your bf's parents and grandparents. If she really was embarrassed about my mom telling her to not sleep with my brother, then she wouldn't have done that. She COULD have done that because she didn't give a shit about my family as long as she can have s with my brother.
I literally want to tell her, "oh yea? you are embarrassed? I'm glad that you at least know what that is because your single mom is fine with you to act cheap af and sleep with guys. The smartest guy I know is your dad for leaving you two. Why, you can talk SHIT about my mother but I can't? Watch what's coming out of that assh*** because I heard everything you said and I hear everything that my brother says. I don't care if you're coming from a messed up family but gtfo of my family, ugly ass b****.

I am so upset how she messed up my family like this, because my family used to be so happy. I see more wrinkle on my mom's face these days and I feel so bad and just can't accept the fact that why she had to overreact like that for us asking her (nicely) to go to her house because we had a family plan the next day. My family has been SUPER nice to her, always bought her food, cooked her food, took her around in fun places, always smiled for her, etc. How can her mom say yes to her daughter to go sleep, aka go have s** with her bf and not care about it? This is out of a scope of my understanding. In every family, there is a rule but doesn't seem like her family has any of that. Very upset at her, and my brother for not saying a shit to her when she cursed to my mom. I know he will try to kill me if it was me who said shit about her mother.
Fuck them both.

submitted by Star-Shooters to u/Star-Shooters [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
submitted by sandwich_with_a_hat to bees [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 00:51 plzdont- Cheap things me and my girl can do on the car together

Proud owner of an EP3, in the process of getting it properly done. I’m looking for cheap but beneficial things that me and my girl can do together on the car besides washing/detailing. I’ve already thought about wire wrapping/tucking. What else can be done together without spending a whole lot of money? Basically looking for a cheap date idea of working on the car lol.
submitted by plzdont- to CivicSi [link] [comments]