Math playground drift boss
(Offer) Zootopia, Same Kind of Different As Me, Boyhood, Inside Out, Selma, Good Kill, Wonder Park, Gunman, Danny Collins, Assassination Nation, Captain Marvel, Rio 2, Fast and Furious 3-7, Suburbicon, Moana, Hunger Games 1-4, More (Request) List and Offers
2023.05.30 04:16 guy6288 (Offer) Zootopia, Same Kind of Different As Me, Boyhood, Inside Out, Selma, Good Kill, Wonder Park, Gunman, Danny Collins, Assassination Nation, Captain Marvel, Rio 2, Fast and Furious 3-7, Suburbicon, Moana, Hunger Games 1-4, More (Request) List and Offers
Offers:
All codes below are split where possible unless noted; please only redeem at the place agreed upon; please let me know if you don’t plan on redeeming the code right away. Thanks for looking!4k iTunes redeem titles listed in bold
SD only titles listed in italics
Anchorman 2, HD iTunes, HD vudu
Assassination Nation, HD MA (ports to MA)
Avengers Age of Ultron, HD gp (ports to MA)
The Boss Baby, HD MA (ports to MA)
Boyhood, HD iTunes, HD vudu
Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier, HD gp (ports to MA)
Captain Marvel, HD gp (ports to MA)
Danny Collins, HD iTunes (ports to MA)
Divergent 1, SD vudu
Divergent 2: Insurgent, SD vudu
FF3 The Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift, HD MA (ports to MA)
FF4 Fast and Furious, HD MA (ports to MA)
FF5 Fast Five - Extended Edition, HD MA (ports to MA)
FF6 Fast and Furious 6, HD MA (ports to MA)
FF7 Furious 7 - Extended Edition, HD MA (ports to MA)
Fifty Shades of Grey (Unrated), HD MA (ports to MA)
Finding Dory, no dmi points, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k)
Finding Dory, HD gp (ports to MA)
Florence Foster Jenkins, HD iTunes, HD vudu
Frozen, no dmi points, HD MA (ports to MA)
Frozen, HD gp (ports to MA)
Frozen Sing Along Edition, HD gp (ports to MA)
GI Joe Retaliation, 4k iTunes, HD vudu
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, HD gp (ports to MA)
The Gunman, HD iTunes (ports to MA)
Good Kill, HD iTunes
Hillsong Let Hope Rise, HD iTunes, HD MA (ports to MA)
The Hunger Games, SD vudu
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, 4k iTunes, HD vudu
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, SD vudu
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, 4k iTunes, HD vudu
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, 4k iTunes
Inside Out, HD gp (ports to MA)
Iron Man 3, HD gp (ports to MA)
Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, HD iTunes
Maleficent, HD gp (ports to MA)
Megan Leavey, HD iTunes (ports to MA)
Minions, HD MA (ports to MA)
Moana, HD gp (ports to MA)
The Other Woman, HD iTunes, HD MA (ports to MA)
Paranormal Activity 3, HD iTunes, HD vudu
Pitch Perfect 2, HD MA (ports to MA)
Planes, HD gp (ports to MA)
Red 2, SD vudu
Rio 2, HD iTunes, HD MA (ports to MA)
Same Kind of Different As Me, HD iTunes, HD vudu
Selma, HD iTunes, HD vudu
Star Trek Beyond, 4k iTunes
Star Wars: The Last Jedi, HD gp (ports to MA)
Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker, HD gp (ports to MA)
Suburbicon, 4k iTunes, HD vudu
Ted (Unrated), HD MA (ports to MA)
** The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2, 4k iTunes, HD vudu**
Winnie the Pooh: Springtime with Rooh, HD gp (ports to MA)
Wonder Park, 4k iTunes
X-Men Days of Future Past, HD gp (ports to MA)
Zootopia, no dmi points, 4k iTunes (ports to MA in 4k)
Zootopia, HD gp (ports to MA)
Requests:
Your offers!Monsters University 4k Ratatouille 4k Mulan (animated) 4k Avengers 4k Big Hero Six 4k Coco 4k Up 4k Tangled 4k The Incredibles 1 & 2 4k Wreck it Ralph 1 & 2 4k Cars 1 & 2 4k Toy Story 1-3 4k
2023.05.30 02:40 KTFnVision Noob Tip: Don't spend cards until later in the scenario
Playing through the Learn to Play book in Jaws of the Lion solo, I was barely squeezing out wins, having to play Scenario 4 twice. I couldn't help but feel like I didn't have nearly enough cards. I always tried to get the most out of every turn, but by the end I was desperately scrambling for the last kill before my characters collapsed under their own weight. When the X cards unlocked and I actually had to judge the value of each card, I realized I had been skipping some crucial math.
I would equip active abilities as early as possible, effectively ignoring the abilities that would have let me recycle the cards into my hand. Couple that with launching ridiculously aggressive assaults on the nearest targets on turn one, I was sacrificing a dozen turns between my 2 characters every single scenario. The long hallway to the boss in Scenario 5 was the wakeup call. How on earth was I going to make it down the hall, let alone make a dent in the boss, with perhaps 14-16 turns each? Completely ignoring the enemies seemed like a non-starter, even though the Learn to Play book explicitly points out that you only have to kill the boss.
Maybe this is obvious to some people, but learning to play in a vacuum so I can teach my friends more easily means I'm having to sus out all the logic on my own. I suppose I should find some tips online, but the AHA moment was a lot of fun!
submitted by KTFnVision to Gloomhaven [link] [comments]
I would equip active abilities as early as possible, effectively ignoring the abilities that would have let me recycle the cards into my hand. Couple that with launching ridiculously aggressive assaults on the nearest targets on turn one, I was sacrificing a dozen turns between my 2 characters every single scenario. The long hallway to the boss in Scenario 5 was the wakeup call. How on earth was I going to make it down the hall, let alone make a dent in the boss, with perhaps 14-16 turns each? Completely ignoring the enemies seemed like a non-starter, even though the Learn to Play book explicitly points out that you only have to kill the boss.
Maybe this is obvious to some people, but learning to play in a vacuum so I can teach my friends more easily means I'm having to sus out all the logic on my own. I suppose I should find some tips online, but the AHA moment was a lot of fun!
2023.05.30 02:12 OscarDivine Rogue Build - Preparation Ultimate Cooldown Build
I posted this in another sub and was requested to post this here as well. I hope it can help drive some engagement and some discussion.
It's time to get Sweaty! Rogues are going to have an extremely high potential to do insane damage this coming release and although we don't know what we'll get exactly on release and even more importantly during Season 1, I wanted to begin a discussion around the potential for Permanent Resource Spending Ultimate Cooldown with Preparation. Rogue skills and passives are extremely good at returning energy. The Preparation Specialization reduces your Ultimate Skills Cooldown by 4 seconds for every 100 Energy you spend. Because the base of this concept is not immediately dependent on the Skills used, it can be used as a base for Twisting Blades, Barrage, Rapid Fire, or Penetrating Shot builds. The benefits of each will be discussed below and a very obvious conclusion is met. At the end of the day, any of the skills can be used, but bigger gaps in the damage potential will multiply depending on attack speed or the skill chosen. Of course, always choose what you enjoy most, but notice the differences in effectiveness as stated below.
The Scaffold of the build contains the following Skill or Skill Tree elements:
The best choice overall is Shadow Clones, as with maximum uptime of 80% (60+20) Damage Done is a practical no brainer. Rain of Arrows is an extremely strong battlefield control skill though as it knocks down an unlimited number of enemies in a large area. Death Trap... let's not talk about that skill. It's awful. For the purposes of this guide I'll be reviewing Shadow Clones, to simplify the math. The Shadow Clones are active for a total of 15 seconds, so it is difficult (but perhaps not impossible) to burn the required energy needed to cool down through Preparation.
Within 15 seconds, you'd need to burn 15 activations of Preparation (60 seconds / 4 seconds cooled down per 100 energy spent), which at the required 100 Energy spent per activation means you'd need to burn 1500 energy within 15 seconds. This is perhaps possible with enough attack speed allowing you to cast a 30 energy skill (Barrage or Twisting Blades) for a total of 50 ATTACKS assuming perfect energy return with Each Attack. 50 Attacks of Barrage/TB within a 15 second time frame is 3.3333 Attacks Per Second and at least from what we've seen is somewhat unrealistic, but Twisting Blades can help this a lot with it's cooldown ability. Rapid Fire is at 25 Energy per cast, Penetrating Shot, however is at 35 energy per cast. At 35 energy per cast, you only require 43 (42.8) casts to meet the 1500 Energy Requirement, which is only 2.86666 Attacks Per Second by comparison. This is a huge advantage for Penetrating Shot, however, recovering the energy from using Penetrating shot is substantially more difficult than it is through Barrage or Rapid Fire, but 2.86666 Attacks Per Second is still better than 3.3333. The Skills advantages are broken down below:
Barrage - Autotargeting, Hits 5+ times very easily, Makes enemies Vulnerable, Average Cost and therefore Average Casts required 3.33333Rapid Fire - Lower Cost and therefore requires 4.0 Attacks Per Second, Hits 5+ times very easily, Recovers Energy back through Improved Rapid Fire (15 Energy). This alone makes Rapid Fire the likely most easy skill to execute the cooldown reductions with as Resource Spending is a complete non-issue most of the time.Penetrating Shot - Manual Targeting, higher skill required, higher hit numbers are more difficult to achieve to refund energy costs from Mother's Embrace, but the required casts are lower due to higher energy consumption. Though it has the biggest advantage in the total number of required casts, it remains the best choice for Ranged Skills in that regard only, but TB will have it beat.Twisting Blades - Similar to Barrage, but it adds extra Cooldown at 0.25 seconds per enemy hit with the returning blades. Twisting Blades may be the best option as a result. Even against one target, reduces the requirement of attacks by 12.5 within the 15 second time window. NOW you only need 2.5 Attacks Per Second. Hmm. It's starting to look more doable now. With enough Attack Speed buffs and the correct weapon type, this is likely the best choice. Remember:
WITHOUT ADDITIONAL ATTACK SPEED Let's calculate the outcome of using Daggers, Twisting Blades, and presumed perfect energy return and little to no need to even use a generator (spoiler alert: you're gonna have to use it anyway). In this idealized situation, 1.2 attacks per second at a spending of 30 energy per attack yields an average of 36 Energy Spending per second so as the 60 second Cooldown of Shadow Clones ticks down, the Shadow Clones will have disappeared at 15 seconds at which time you'd have spent a total of 540 Energy and "earned" 3.125 seconds cooldown from the Advanced Twisting Blades ability (assuming only one target, multiple targets improve this tremendously). 37.875 seconds of cooldown remain, though only 15 seconds have elapsed and 45 seconds SHOULD remain. To ESTIMATE, means that at Approximately 30 seconds from the cast of the initial Shadow Clone, a new Shadow Clone can be cast for a total DOWNTIME between clones of 15 seconds. This is BANANAS. If you add in ATTACK SPEED, you close this gap EXPONENTIALLY quickly.
TL;DR - Preparation can yield you an 80% damage Boost once every 30 seconds that lasts for 15 seconds. 50% of the time you'll be doing +80% damage. Preparation is INSANE. Use it right by cooling it down properly. Twisting Blades is the best at this, use a dagger for maximum advantage.
EDIT: I forgot to add in Paragon Board advantages - The Legendary Paragon Board node "No Witnesses" cause your Ultimate skills to deal 30% increased damage and grant 10% increased damage for 20 seconds when cast, As this Build is really an Ultimate Spammer, you will also multiplicatively increase your damage with this Legendary Node. The same board also has 2x 5% increased Attack Speed Magic level nodes. These types of nodes will be instrumental in improving uptime. Though Paragon boards and their uses have not been fully realized yet, I fully suspect that using this board FIRST may be the most efficient use of your points to maximize your Attack Speed
submitted by OscarDivine to Diablo4Builds [link] [comments]
It's time to get Sweaty! Rogues are going to have an extremely high potential to do insane damage this coming release and although we don't know what we'll get exactly on release and even more importantly during Season 1, I wanted to begin a discussion around the potential for Permanent Resource Spending Ultimate Cooldown with Preparation. Rogue skills and passives are extremely good at returning energy. The Preparation Specialization reduces your Ultimate Skills Cooldown by 4 seconds for every 100 Energy you spend. Because the base of this concept is not immediately dependent on the Skills used, it can be used as a base for Twisting Blades, Barrage, Rapid Fire, or Penetrating Shot builds. The benefits of each will be discussed below and a very obvious conclusion is met. At the end of the day, any of the skills can be used, but bigger gaps in the damage potential will multiply depending on attack speed or the skill chosen. Of course, always choose what you enjoy most, but notice the differences in effectiveness as stated below.
The Scaffold of the build contains the following Skill or Skill Tree elements:
- Preparation Specialization - Every 100 Energy spent reduces the cooldown of Ultimate Skills by 4 seconds, using an Ultimate Skill resets cooldown of all skills
- Consuming Shadows - Each Time you kill an enemy with Shadow Damage gain 10 Energy - This requires you to use Shadow Imbuement
- Innervation - 10/20/30% chance lucky hit to gain 8 energy
- Adrenaline Rush - While moving, you gain 5/10/15% increased Energy Regenration
- Aftermath - After using an Ultimate Skill, restore 25/50/75 Energy
- Concealment with Enhanced Concealment (you gain 40 energy when you enter Concealment) - This synergizes VERY well with Preparation's Reset all CD's upon use of Ulti.
- Mother's Embrace Ring - If a Core Skill hits 5 or more enemies (20-40%) of the Resource is refunded. An unusual idiosyncracy of this is that core skills such as Barrage, Rapid Fire, and perhaps the orbiting blades of Twisting Blades count as individual hits against a single enemy, so bosses will still return this resource if hit 5 times.
- Harlequin Crest - Gain 10-20% Damage Reduction. In addition, gain +4 Ranks to all Skills. - The obvious implication to this is greater return of energy, higher damage output, and potentially higher proc rates for energy return.
- ASPECT of Branching Volleys (Barrage) / Repeating (Rapid Fire) / Bladedancer (Twisting Blades) / Trickshot (Penetrating Shot) - Depending on your choice of Core Skill used.
The best choice overall is Shadow Clones, as with maximum uptime of 80% (60+20) Damage Done is a practical no brainer. Rain of Arrows is an extremely strong battlefield control skill though as it knocks down an unlimited number of enemies in a large area. Death Trap... let's not talk about that skill. It's awful. For the purposes of this guide I'll be reviewing Shadow Clones, to simplify the math. The Shadow Clones are active for a total of 15 seconds, so it is difficult (but perhaps not impossible) to burn the required energy needed to cool down through Preparation.
Within 15 seconds, you'd need to burn 15 activations of Preparation (60 seconds / 4 seconds cooled down per 100 energy spent), which at the required 100 Energy spent per activation means you'd need to burn 1500 energy within 15 seconds. This is perhaps possible with enough attack speed allowing you to cast a 30 energy skill (Barrage or Twisting Blades) for a total of 50 ATTACKS assuming perfect energy return with Each Attack. 50 Attacks of Barrage/TB within a 15 second time frame is 3.3333 Attacks Per Second and at least from what we've seen is somewhat unrealistic, but Twisting Blades can help this a lot with it's cooldown ability. Rapid Fire is at 25 Energy per cast, Penetrating Shot, however is at 35 energy per cast. At 35 energy per cast, you only require 43 (42.8) casts to meet the 1500 Energy Requirement, which is only 2.86666 Attacks Per Second by comparison. This is a huge advantage for Penetrating Shot, however, recovering the energy from using Penetrating shot is substantially more difficult than it is through Barrage or Rapid Fire, but 2.86666 Attacks Per Second is still better than 3.3333. The Skills advantages are broken down below:
Barrage - Autotargeting, Hits 5+ times very easily, Makes enemies Vulnerable, Average Cost and therefore Average Casts required 3.33333Rapid Fire - Lower Cost and therefore requires 4.0 Attacks Per Second, Hits 5+ times very easily, Recovers Energy back through Improved Rapid Fire (15 Energy). This alone makes Rapid Fire the likely most easy skill to execute the cooldown reductions with as Resource Spending is a complete non-issue most of the time.Penetrating Shot - Manual Targeting, higher skill required, higher hit numbers are more difficult to achieve to refund energy costs from Mother's Embrace, but the required casts are lower due to higher energy consumption. Though it has the biggest advantage in the total number of required casts, it remains the best choice for Ranged Skills in that regard only, but TB will have it beat.Twisting Blades - Similar to Barrage, but it adds extra Cooldown at 0.25 seconds per enemy hit with the returning blades. Twisting Blades may be the best option as a result. Even against one target, reduces the requirement of attacks by 12.5 within the 15 second time window. NOW you only need 2.5 Attacks Per Second. Hmm. It's starting to look more doable now. With enough Attack Speed buffs and the correct weapon type, this is likely the best choice. Remember:
- 1.1 Attacks Per Second Bows and 1H Swords
- 1.2 Attacks Per Second Daggers
WITHOUT ADDITIONAL ATTACK SPEED Let's calculate the outcome of using Daggers, Twisting Blades, and presumed perfect energy return and little to no need to even use a generator (spoiler alert: you're gonna have to use it anyway). In this idealized situation, 1.2 attacks per second at a spending of 30 energy per attack yields an average of 36 Energy Spending per second so as the 60 second Cooldown of Shadow Clones ticks down, the Shadow Clones will have disappeared at 15 seconds at which time you'd have spent a total of 540 Energy and "earned" 3.125 seconds cooldown from the Advanced Twisting Blades ability (assuming only one target, multiple targets improve this tremendously). 37.875 seconds of cooldown remain, though only 15 seconds have elapsed and 45 seconds SHOULD remain. To ESTIMATE, means that at Approximately 30 seconds from the cast of the initial Shadow Clone, a new Shadow Clone can be cast for a total DOWNTIME between clones of 15 seconds. This is BANANAS. If you add in ATTACK SPEED, you close this gap EXPONENTIALLY quickly.
TL;DR - Preparation can yield you an 80% damage Boost once every 30 seconds that lasts for 15 seconds. 50% of the time you'll be doing +80% damage. Preparation is INSANE. Use it right by cooling it down properly. Twisting Blades is the best at this, use a dagger for maximum advantage.
EDIT: I forgot to add in Paragon Board advantages - The Legendary Paragon Board node "No Witnesses" cause your Ultimate skills to deal 30% increased damage and grant 10% increased damage for 20 seconds when cast, As this Build is really an Ultimate Spammer, you will also multiplicatively increase your damage with this Legendary Node. The same board also has 2x 5% increased Attack Speed Magic level nodes. These types of nodes will be instrumental in improving uptime. Though Paragon boards and their uses have not been fully realized yet, I fully suspect that using this board FIRST may be the most efficient use of your points to maximize your Attack Speed
2023.05.30 01:58 Calm-Cartographer656 Neverwinter's Stat System vs Other Games
Genuine question. I don't just want to reopen old wounds for jaded veterans.
I think I understand NW's stat system (I don't have a math degree but I know that one would help). It's the only one I've known in 2 years of playing. I think it is intended to stop endgamers soloing dungeons by creating a power ceiling and to make even the newest newbie able to contribute by enforcing scaling.
The biggest drawback to me is that to make my character better in one respect, I make it worse in other respects. I might do more damage than a new player, but I can also get one shot on bosses.
The answer I usually hear is that this is to help min maxing. But why would I want to "min" in order to "max"?
Why not start at 50% on all stats, as we do, with no reduction in any stat while building others? Why not have a power floor as well as a power ceiling? Another way of putting that is, why not make combined rating equal to item level on every item? Min maxers could still do their thing with items with the old switcheroo powers, increasing damage for sacrificing defence. But why make it compulsory on all items?
So what do other games do? Surely this is a game genre wide problem. How do games preserve the feeling of improvement without leaving need players hopelessly behind forever?
submitted by Calm-Cartographer656 to Neverwinter [link] [comments]
I think I understand NW's stat system (I don't have a math degree but I know that one would help). It's the only one I've known in 2 years of playing. I think it is intended to stop endgamers soloing dungeons by creating a power ceiling and to make even the newest newbie able to contribute by enforcing scaling.
The biggest drawback to me is that to make my character better in one respect, I make it worse in other respects. I might do more damage than a new player, but I can also get one shot on bosses.
The answer I usually hear is that this is to help min maxing. But why would I want to "min" in order to "max"?
Why not start at 50% on all stats, as we do, with no reduction in any stat while building others? Why not have a power floor as well as a power ceiling? Another way of putting that is, why not make combined rating equal to item level on every item? Min maxers could still do their thing with items with the old switcheroo powers, increasing damage for sacrificing defence. But why make it compulsory on all items?
So what do other games do? Surely this is a game genre wide problem. How do games preserve the feeling of improvement without leaving need players hopelessly behind forever?
2023.05.30 01:39 Trash_Tia When I was 10 my class were infested with lice — the type that got into our heads.
We all have problems as kids, right?
But they’re not adult problems. Those come later.
Kid problems are much easier to deal with. Kid problems might seem ridiculous now, but back then they were practically the end of the world for some of us. Playground politics was a thing—who was friends with who. If we didn’t wear nice clothes, kids would laugh. If we didn’t like the things other kids liked, we were weird. We were a hive-mind, obsessed with being liked, being appreciated and accepted. High school sucks, sure, but elementary school is just as bad. Nobody says it these days so I will.
Kids can be fucking cruel.
I remember my biggest problem that morning being that I hadn’t gotten the new Pokémon game—Diamond and Pearl, I think it was called. I’d begged my parents for a Nintendo DS when it came out and had opened up a brand new light pink DS Lite on my 10th birthday, the day before. I wanted the game that all the other kids were playing, but according to mom it was too expensive. Instead, I got Barbie Horse Adventures: Summer Camp.
Needless to say, I wasn’t thrilled with it.
It was raining that day.
I remember watching big, fat raindrops run down the classroom window, my head pressed to my desk and turned towards looming grey clouds. I liked pretending the raindrops were racing each other and mentally cheering them on.
I was too embarrassed to pull out my DS practically burning a hole in my skirt. I’d made the stupid mistake of telling everyone I was getting the new Pokémon game for my birthday, and the idea of admitting to them that I actually hadn’t—instead having some stupid Barbie game that I was pretending I liked—was making my stomach twist.
Still though, the rain was nice to watch. Since the weather wasn’t that great, we’d been strictly told to stay inside, though some kids had decided to ignore the teacher and go outside anyway so the classroom was mostly empty. I was watching one particular raindrop dance across the glass, when a laugh startled me out of my thoughts. When I lifted my head, I saw the usual suspects gathering around Lily’s desk.
They were bullying her again.
Licey Lily. That’s what everyone called her. Mom told me to stay away from the girl—though I think that was a universal thing all the parents told their kids. Lily came to school with clothes which didn’t fit her and holes in her socks and her shoes falling apart around her feet. When I sat behind her, sometimes I’d glimpse red markings on her wrist and her ankles. Lily didn’t wear winter clothes when it snowed. I remember when she came in late one day and wasn’t even wearing a coat. I’d heard from other kids her parents didn’t look after her, while others spread a rumour that she was an orphan. Lily had thick blonde curls that fell in front of her face in tangles and knots. Mrs Lewis tried to help her. She was maybe the only one who cared.
Mrs Lewis made sure Lily had a thick, woolly coat to play outside in. When Lily walked into class with her hair looking like a bird's nest, Mrs Lewis made it look pretty again. I liked Lily’s hair when it was brushed and in ribbons.
In kindergarten I was convinced she was a princess because her hair, despite being messy, looked like it was glowing, caught up in ethereal light from the sun.
I was sure the other kids were jealous. That was why they bullied her.
That day Lily’s hair didn’t look pretty—she didn’t look like a princess. The bright red ribbons Mrs Lewis had put in on Friday were still clinging to clumpy tangles of blonde, and she was wearing the same knitted cardigan she was wearing on Friday over a creased skirt and shoes that were too big for her. Though it wasn’t her clothes, or even the state of her hair that had attracted her usual tormentors. Lily had been scratching her head all the way through class. It wasn’t like normal though. Usually, she idly scratched maybe once or twice, but that day it had been a constant scratch, scratch, scratch all the way through class. Of course Scarlett Maine noticed.
The girl had waited until Mrs Lewis left the classroom before sidling over to Lily’s desk.
“Do you even wash your hair, Licey Lily?” Scarlett had dark hair pulled into pigtails that bobbed when she giggled. She leaned towards Lily. Scarlet acted older than she was—probably because she had a sister in high school. “My mom said only dirty kids like you get lice, and your hair is so gross.”
Lily didn’t move, her mess of blonde curls hanging in front of her face.
“Hey.” Scarlett grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged violently, “Licey Lily, why aren’t you talking to us?” She jumped back suddenly with a choked laugh. “Urgh, you can see them! They’re wriggling in her hair!”
“Scarlett.” I said. “Cut it out.”
I was ignored. If I tried to stop it, I knew what would happen. It always happened. Anyone who tried to help Lily, or told Mrs Lewis about the bullying, either got outcasted or bullied too. I opened my mouth to speak again, louder this time, but the others were in their own world—like tormenting Lily was their own personal fantasy and nobody could penetrate that little bubble of theirs. Freddie Caine who had been hovering over Scarlett with an identical cruel grin let out a disgusted snort. He grabbed Scarlett’s arm and the two of them stumbled back.
“I can see them!” He pointed, his eyes wide. “They’re all over her back! There are so many!”
More murmurs. Giggling. Some kids jumped up from their own desks and joined the growing crowd surrounding Lily. Freddie edged forwards like the desk was teeming with crawlies. “Did you make friends with them?” He whispered in Lily’s face. When the others laughed at that, Scarlett being the loudest, he shoved Lily hard.
“I bet you did.” Freddie grinned, “That’s why you’re always scratching. They’re your only friends.”
Scarlett nodded. Giggling, she rushed to her desk and grabbed her bag, pulling something out. The kids laughed harder. It was a water bottle—but it definitely wasn’t filled with water. Lily seemed to notice this too. She came back to life, lifting her head, glistening eyes widening in panic. I already knew what Scarlett was going to do, but nobody could stop her. Scarlett rounded Lily’s desk and held the bottle up high over the trembling girl’s head.
“Bath time!” Scarlett giggled, tipping the bottle.
I was aware of something that wasn’t water splashing down on a squeaking Lily’s head. She cried out, trying to shield herself. When she tried to jump up, tears welling in her eyes, Freddie and two other girls held her down. Scarlett didn’t stop until the bottle was empty and Lily was soaking wet, her cardigan glued to her, a huge wet patch on her skirt. When Lily lifted her head, her sopping knotted curls hung in clumps in front of her eyes. The bottle hit the ground and Freddie picked it up with a frown.
“What is that?” He sniffed it and pulled a face. “That stinks!”
The other kids murmured in agreement, and Scarlett shrugged. Her gaze pierced Lily, who was crying, her entire body trembling with the force of her sobs. “It’s apple juice, dummy! “ She said, “My mom wouldn’t let me fill my water bottle and my big sister was in the shower, so I got some apple juice from my dad’s office. It was on his desk.”
Freddie pinched his nose. “That’s not apple juice!” His voice was all nasally, “It smells like old socks! And it’s green!”
“You’re going to get in trouble.” Jasper Parker spoke up. He sat across from me and barely ever spoke- unless it was to brag about how smart he was. He’d been organising his gold sticker collection, though the splash had made him jump. He wasn’t smiling, though the muscles in his face were gradually contorting into one. Jasper wasn’t fooling me. I knew he only pretended to be nice so he could maintain his position as best student. He found it funny. I could see it in the sparkle in his eyes, his smirk when Scarlett and Freddie shoved Lily into her chair.
“Yeah?” Freddie’s gaze found Jasper’s. “Are you going to tattle, Goody Two Shoes?”
Jasper shrugged. “No.” He went back to his gold sticker collection, though his voice had softened a little. Goodie Two Shoes was his nickname in 3rd grade. Not just that—Jasper was obsessed with being the teacher’s pet. He had been as unpopular as Lily before bringing in Pokémon cards one day, and suddenly he was cool. Jasper had all the special sparkly ones he happily traded, so naturally the other kids had decided he wasn’t so bad after all. “She needed a bath. She stinks.”
“Stinky Lily!” Isabel Hades laughed, the others joining in – including Jasper, bowing his head further.
Ignoring them, Scarlett’s attention was on Lily, who had stood up, her hair dripping. All of her was dripping. Her clothes, her face—her eyes. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and yet they still laughed, pushing and shoving her. “See?” Scarlett’s voice was sugary sweet. “I’m so nice, Licey Lily! I even gave your friends a bath!”
Lily didn’t speak. She only ran out of the classroom, the others laughter chasing her all the way down the corridor. When the girl was gone, the other kids returned to their desk and Scarlett acted like nothing had happened. Jasper grabbed a mop from the janitor's closet, lying that Lily had spilled her water and cleaned up the mess on his own. He always did that— always helping someone or doing something helpful for his own gain.
When Jasper was mopping up the mess, I was frowning at him.
Well, not him. Because we all knew if you looked at a boy for too long you would explode or get cooties.
I wasn’t looking at Jasper, or the giant spot on his chin. No. I was staring at the liquid pooling at his feet which definitely wasn’t water. It was a funny green colour, and it was maybe a little thicker. It reminded me of Nickelodeon slime if it had been watered down. The green so-called water was giving me the creeps. I was looking at it for maybe a little too long, because Jasper noticed my gaze when he looked up.
He didn’t look happy.
It was an unwritten rule that boy’s and girl’s didn’t talk to each other unless they wanted a song being made about them. I could still remember when Sara Jacobs and Josh Simons had been caught talking to each other together in the playground. The next day, everyone was talking about it—and Scarlett was skipping around the two of them, singing that stupid rhyme that always got stuck in my head.
“Sara and Josh sitting in a tree! K. I. S. S. I. N. G.”
Jasper bugged out his eyes. “What are you looking at?”
“What’s that you’re cleaning up?”
“Apple juice.” Jasper said, not sounding sure.
“Uh-huh.” I folded my arms. “And why are you cleaning it up? That’s Scarlett’s mess.”
He stuck out his tongue, going back to mopping up. “None of your beeswax.”
I scoffed. I’d picked up the other kids' taunts over the years—and they felt natural coming off my tongue, slick like honey. This is where I admit I was no different from the others.
“You’re just being a teacher’s pet as usual.”
Jasper didn’t lift his head, but I noticed his mopping slowed a little—his fingers tightening around the handle.
“I know your secret.”
“My secret?”
Jasper nodded. “You have a Barbie game.” He giggled. “I saw you playing it under your desk.”
“And?”
He scrubbed a little harder. “If you call me that again I’ll tell everybody you play Barbie games.”
Jasper had won.
I stood down.
Lily came back before class started again. Since it was raining, she matched a bunch of other kids who had gone outside to play in the shower. So she too had been yelled at by Mrs Lewis. The teacher had handed out towels so they could dry themselves, and it hadn’t been long before Freddie had snatched Lily’s and screwed it into a ball, throwing it to the back of the classroom. Lily trembled all the way through math. At first I thought it was because she was cold, but when I lifted my head from my drawing, I saw her body was quivering—her pale hands gripping her scalp, fingernails scratching at her forehead. She was whimpering to herself, hiding behind her book.
The scratching got worse until she curled into herself, her fingers clawing at her curls.
It was endless. The noise didn’t stop all the way through class.
When I was trying to answer questions, all I could hear was scratch, scratch, scratch. “Lily?” Mrs Lewis stopped explaining multiplication. “Are you okay?”
The girl’s head bobbed up and down in a sharp nod, and Mrs Lewis went back to teaching.
“Licey Lily.” Scarlett, who had insisted on sitting behind Lily, kicked the back of the girl’s chair.
“Her friends are dancing.” She said, loud enough for us to hear, but not the teacher.
Everyone giggled, and Lily scratched harder—until she was squeaking, scratting at her scalp.
I caught Jasper staring, his eyes wide. He wasn’t smiling or laughing like the others.
Instead, he was frowning at the floor where the mess had been.
At lunch it had stopped raining and I was relieved to get out of the classroom. I ate my lunch in the cafeteria before heading outside. There was a game of Tag happening, but the last time I’d joined in I’d ended up with skinned knees. Instead, I headed to the jungle gym—and there I found Lily. She was sitting on the very top, her legs dangling off the edge. Lily wasn’t wearing a coat and I remember feeling a chill down my spine when I noticed how pale her exposed arms were. The girl was shivering, her head of blonde curls pressed into her lap.
She was scratching again, scratching, scratching, scratching – and I swore when her fingers left her hair, I could see flecks of white stuck in her nails. Lily lifted her head. She wasn’t looking at me, her gaze on something else far away. It was the first time, I remember thinking—the first time I’d seen her face in a while. She always had her head bowed and was hiding behind her hair. Her cheeks were white, her lips twisted into a pained cry. “They won’t stop.” She was whispering to herself, her hands like claws going back into her hair and grasping at clumps of ratty gold and ragging violently. Her whole body shuddered, “They won’t stop.”
“They’re mean.” I said, “Don’t listen to them, okay? I like your hair. It’s really pretty!”
Lily didn’t respond, raking her fingernails down her face. “They won’t stop. Won’t stop. Won’t stop!”
Swallowing hard, I took slow steps towards her. “Lily?” I reached into my pocket to pull out my DS. My first thought was to let her play it. Maybe that might make her feel better. When I was pulling it out, though, Lily startled me with a shriek. “Stop!” Her hands balled into fists and she slammed them into her head, her sobs growing progressively more hysterical. Lily was running her hands through her hair and then staring down at the palms of her hands with a look of fright of terror. It hit me, then—that she wasn’t talking about Scarlett and the others. I felt myself take a slow step back. Lily was talking about the lice—the bugs crawling in her hair.
“Mommy.” Lily whimpered, her shaking fingers entangled with knotty curls. “I want my mommy.”
“I’ll get Mrs Lewis.”
But Lily wasn’t listening. She was swaying slightly, squeezing her eyes shut.
When I ran back inside, lunch had ended and everyone was heading to class. I flew directly into Mrs Lewis in my rush. Normally, I’d squeak out an apology or run away, but the words were already streaming from my mouth before I could help them. I could still see Lily in my mind—swaying back and forth, her eyes flickering, the red staining her fingernails. “It’s Lily!” I shrieked. “She’s outside, and she’s crying,” I gestured with my hands, pointing to my own head. “She had bugs in her hair. Like, humongous bugs, and she keeps scratching and the bugs are really big—”
“Miri.” Mrs Lewis cut me off, “Calm down. First of all, we don’t say bugs. They’re called lice, and they’re completely normal. All kids your age will get lice.” Her eyes found the end of the corridor. “Where is Lily now?”
“She’s on the jungle gym.” I said, “Is Lily going to be okay? Is she going to give us all lice?”
The teacher’s eyes turned sharp, and I automatically knew I’d said the wrong thing.
“Okay, Miri. Tell everyone I’m going to be a little late. I’ll go and find Lily.”
When I went back to class, someone had drawn a stickwoman on the board with a giant bug on her head.
I slumped in my chair and turned to Jasper, who was organising his crayons in order of shade.
“Hey.” I pointed to the board. “Who drew that?”
“Scarlett.” He muttered. “I’ve already wiped it off three times.”
I was daydreaming, counting clouds in the sky—trying to ignore Freddie and Scarlett singing about bugs, when Mrs Lewis came back. She was hand in hand with Lily, who looked better. I wasn’t sure how, but the girl seemed different. The way she moved, holding her head high as she skipped to her desk. Lily was skipping. She was smiling. Her eyes were bright—a glitter in her demeanour that none of us knew. We only knew the girl who stared down at the floor, peering through straggly hair. It’s not like her hair was better. It was worse, matted to her back.
When she found her seat, giggling to herself, her hands went back to her hair—scratching.
But she was smiling, giggling, laughing, as her scratting got more intense, raking her scalp. Her fingernails—I thought, something slimy creeping up my throat. Lily’s fingernails were still red, and the white flecks had turned fleshy pink. It was like jello, stuck to her nails and splattered on her palms. I didn’t want to think about what the goop was. I was squinting at the wooden grains of my desk to avoid barfing, when a shadow loomed.
I looked up to find Mrs Lewis glaring down at me.
“Miri, I am very disappointed in you. Lily is perfectly fine. If I hear you saying things about other children I will be talking to your mother. Do you understand me?”
I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off.
“Would you like it if some of your friends said mean things about your hair?”
“But Mrs Lewis,” I whispered, “She did. I saw the bugs. They were making her cry.”
The teacher shook her head. “I combed through Lily’s hair several times. She does not have lice.”
If Mrs Lewis had combed through her hair, it wouldn’t still be a mess.
Why was she lying?
“She does though.” Jasper spoke up. “I saw them crawling in her hair.”
“Jasper!” The teacher’s voice hardened. “Of everyone in this class, I didn’t expect you to join in this bullying.”
“It’s not bullying!” He said, “Mrs Lewis, she has lice! Like, crazy lice!”
The teacher ignored us and went back to the front. I was surprised that Scarlett hadn’t spoken a word.
“Get out your workbooks.” Mrs Lewis told everyone.
“I was going to let you write stories today, since it’s coming up to the holidays, but since all you can do is make mean remarks against your friends, I want you to work in silence. Do the activity on pages 5, 6, and 8. Jasper, put your hand down. Yes, I know you’ve already done them—you can turn to the back and do question 10.”
Mrs Lewis cleared her throat. “Is that understood?”
“Yes, Mrs Lewis!” Lily chirped.
I heard the collective breath from everyone.
It was the first time in days that Lily had spoken without being forced to. There was something strange about her face. When I looked at the girl for long enough, she didn’t move, didn’t blink, her lips splitting her mouth apart into a smile. But her hands kept going—kept scratching, even when the fleshy pink built up in her fingernails. The teacher smiled, seemingly failing to notice the state of Lily. If she did, she didn’t care.
“Well done, Lily.”
I went through my workbook, struggling with the questions, especially when Lily would not stop scratching at her head. It was driving me crazy and knowing the damage she was doing to her head, seeing her wearing that unnerving grin—she was scaring me. I wanted to tell Mrs Lewis there was something wrong, but the words wouldn’t form in my mouth. I didn’t want to get in trouble again, but Lily’s scratching was unbearable.
When we were done, Mrs Lewis went around the class asking for answers.
Only two hands shot into the air.
Jasper, as usual— and to my surprise, Lily. Mrs Lewis looked equally baffled. Still, she nodded and smiled at the girl. “Lily, do you have the answer to—” she flicked through the workbook. “Question two?”
Lili shook her head. “No, but I have the answer for the one you’re doing.”
“Hmm?” The teacher looked confused, and Lily giggled, pointing to the red notebook on her desk.
“That one! The question you’re looking for is X=2. If you divide—“ Her words didn’t make sense to me, just like gibberish. I’d never heard of that kind of math. We were doing division, and I was still struggling with the basics.
Lily had never answered a math question, though I’d noticed her workbooks had always been coloured in green marker pen and glittery stickers. I guess it made sense that she was smart at math, but I didn’t understand how she’d somehow gotten the answer to the problem in Mrs Lewis’s private notebook.
“Lily, that’s not the question I’m asking. What’s the correct answer to question two?”
“Three.” Lily said. “Duh. You just divide 21 and 7.”
“That’s right.” Mrs Lewis’s lips pricked into a smile. “However, we do not say that word.”
Lily nodded and sat down with a bounce, her hands going back to scratch at her hair.
Behind me, Jasper grumbled. "I knew that."
When the day was over I was ready to get home—away from Lily and the smile that was stuck to her face.
Lily was packing up her stuff when Scarlet shoved past her.
“Get out of my way, Licey Lily! Don’t touch me.”
To my surprise, Lily laughed. She reached out her hand, giggling, and tucked a straying strand of Scarlett’s hair behind her ear. Beaming, Lily’s expression glittered with something I couldn’t and never would understand.
They looked strange—her eyes, I mean. They looked like they were moving, her pupils growing larger and then smaller, bouncing up and down like in cartoons. I had to blink to see if I was seeing things. When I turned around, Jasper was staring too, his mouth open, gaping.
Lily tugged her pigtails—hard.
I’d never seen Scarlett look scared. She always looked happy, always gleeful.
And yet then, I only saw terror. I saw a whole new shade of her personality bleeding through.
“They like your hair, Scarlett.” Lily murmured. “They’ve been talking to me and they want to eat it all up! And then they want to eat up your brain too!” Still laughing, Lily pressed her head to Scarlett’s. The girl didn’t move. Freddie, standing nearby, looked shaken, his lips twisted in disgust. And then I knew why. Because when I looked at Lily properly, I saw that her hair was moving. Twitching. I could see them, I could see bugs skittering across her head. I saw tiny legs peeking from her hairline. Freddie hissed out. “Hey.” His voice was shaky.
“Stop that.”
Scarlett stumbled back, clinging to Freddie.
“You’re so gross.” She managed to hiss. “Get… get away from me.”
Lily’s pupils shrunk to a dot. “I’ll see you tomorrow!”
She was skipping away before any of them could respond.
That night I told mom to wash my hair three times just in case.
A sicky feeling had followed me to the Elementary school gates the next day.
I kept my head down for most of the morning. Scarlett was quiet and Lily had stopped scratching—she’d stopped everything though. Lily didn’t raise her hand to answer questions or work in her books.
She just sat there staring at nothing and smiling. Like she could see something I couldn’t.
I noticed scratching during reading period. When I lifted my head though, it was Freddie scratting his curls.
The scratching spread like a virus. By the end of the class it was everyone. Even Mrs Lewis.
At recess, I went to the bathroom to hide from Lily, who was eagerly dancing across the classroom and pressing her head to other kids.
They didn’t run though. They just stood and let her. When I was washing my hands, a stall creaked open, and Scarlett came out. She didn’t look like she usually did. Her hair was a tangled mess, no longer in pigtails, instead hanging in her face. Scarlett’s eyes didn’t find me, instead flicking to the mirror. Taking slow steps, she went over to the mirror and clawed at her hair, yanking and pulling at it.
“Make it stop.” She whispered, nails like claws scratching at her head, and then her face. Her eyes were red, and when I looked closer—I had to swallow a cry. Scarlett’s hair was moving. Just like with Lily. I saw them, bulging black bugs sticking to her hair and scuttling across her forehead. The girl’s arms were wild, trying to dig and claw and pull them off, but they were merciless, sticking into her skin and not letting go. She lunged forwards, her body swaying like she was dizzy before slamming her head into the mirror with a wet splat. My body froze up.
Blood, I thought.
There was blood.
“Stop.” Scarlett’s head hit the mirror again. Splat. More blood. More blood smearing the glass. I felt my legs give way and my knees hit cold tiles, my eyes glued to the bugs burrowing under her hair, clawing into her skin.
“They’re in my head.” She whimpered, her eyes flickering. Her pupils were bulging, growing bigger and then smaller, and the skin of her face contorted, like they were under there too. They were everywhere, I realised.
They were in her hands, bulging bumps writhing under the skin of her flesh when she tried to claw at her hair—but her hands fell limp by her side. Like they were stopping her. Puppeteering her.
“I can… hear them.” Scarlett’s contorting pupils found mine. When she opened her mouth to scream, I spied tiny holes on her tongue. “They’re in my head,” her voice was light, almost dreamy. “I want my… I want my mommy.”
Scarlett held out her hands, staring wide-eyed at fleshy pink covering her skin.
Mommy. Her lips moved, but no sound came out.
When I saw tiny black dots writhe across the whites of her eyes, bulging into her pupils like it was taking over—
I screamed.
I just remembered screaming, and the BANG when Scarlett’s head hit the mirror again, and again.
Until her head didn’t look like a head.
“Miri?”
The familiar voice made me cry harder.
Jasper stumbled in, one hand covering his eyes, the other grasping at the wall to balance him. “This is the girl’s bathroom! I could get a disease here,” He groaned. “Why are you screaming? Is there a spider?”
“Scarlett!” I managed to whisper when the girl flopped to the ground. “It’s Scarlett!”
“What’s wrong with her?“
“Miss Lewis.” I backed into the wall, watching her body flailing. “Get Miss Lewis!”
Staggered footsteps.
The door shut, and I was alone with Scarlett.
And it was the first time I heard it.
Staring down at my lap, I refused to look at Scarlett, at the smear of red on the mirror. I was counting my breaths when I heard it—skittering and twitching. I heard them burrowing into Scarlett’s head, dancing across her hair.
SKKRR. CHH. CHH. CHH.
I was sobbing when Mrs Lewis hurried in, Jasper at her side. His hands were still over his eyes.
“Miri!” Mrs Lewis hissed out. “What’s going on?”
“Scarlett.” I whimpered into my dress. “She’s—”
I opened my mouth to speak, but then my eyes caught Scarlett standing in front of the mirror. She looked normal again. There was no splash of deep red painting her face, no dent in her head where she’d smashed her face into the mirror. I noticed there was dripping toilet paper tinged red balled in her fists. She’d wiped it off, I thought. Scarlett had cleaned the mirror. When the girl faced the teacher, her eyes were funny—like Lily’s.
“Yes, Mrs Lewis?”
I squinted, catching movement on the shrinking crack in the mirror.
Tiny black dots— like ants— crawling across the glass. They were fixing it, I realised.
Like the dent in Scarlett’s head.
Had they fixed her too?
Jasper peeked through his hands. “Is it okay to look?”
Mrs Lewis was red-faced. “This is the second time, Miri!” She yelled. “This isn’t an isolated case, this is crying wolf!”
I didn’t know what that meant.
Slowly, I got to my feet. I was trembling.
“Miss Lewis.“ My voice was shaking. “Scarlet had—“ I reached into my own hair. “Magic… magic bugs—"
“Lice?” The teacher finished. “I’m going to talk to your mother. This is unacceptable behaviour.”
She gestured to the door. “Girls. Get to class. Jasper, stay behind. I’d like to talk to you.”
Jasper squeaked. “Me? Why?”
“Just a talk, Jasper.”
“But—I didn’t do anything!”
I didn’t want to leave Jasper—but I didn’t have a choice.
On the way back to class, I considered going home. I wanted to run away—back to mom. Someone’s hand clawed in my hair, entangling in my ponytail. I cried out, pulling away. It was Scarlett with eyes that weren’t hers anymore. “Pretty hair!” She sang, tugging on my hair. “Pretty, pretty, pretty hair!”
I was the only one not scratching my head when I went back to the classroom. The other kids continued playing, laughing, talking—scratting at their heads. Lily sat at her desk—as did Scarlett and Freddie. They didn’t move. They didn’t join in. Freddie’s fingernails were red, but he didn’t care, scratching and scratching and scratching.
I pressed my hands over my ears to block out the noise.
When Jasper sat back in his seat, his eyes were red. I turned to him quickly. “What did she say?”
The boy glowered at me. “I’m not the star student anymore,” He mumbled. “Mrs Lewis said I can have my stickers back when I stop being mean to Lily.” His eyes narrowed into slits. “This is all your fault, Miri. You’re the one who keeps saying there’s bugs in kids' hair. You made me go in the girl’s bathroom, so now I’ve got girl cooties.”
Jasper rested his head in his arms. “Mrs Lewis was weird too. She kept touching my head.”
“What?” I hissed, leaning my chair against his desk. “Jasper, what happened?”
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” He grumbled into his arms. “Go away.”
Jasper wasn’t lying. He ignored me for the rest of the day. Even when I offered him the cupcake my mom had packed me. He ate it in one bite and went back to glaring at his own lunch. I wanted to talk to him, because he was the only one who wasn’t acting weird. The other kids started to follow Lily and Scarlett and Freddie. They stopped playing, stopped talking and laughing, and just sat in silence. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand the scratching. I wanted to go home. When I told Mrs Lewis I felt sick, she just smiled and told me I was crying wolf.
It was only much later on when I realised I was the only one left. I was writing about panda’s when I heard it coming from behind me. It started slow, soft, and then grew louder. When I turned around, it wasn’t Ella or Jack or Sara scratching their heads. Instead, I glimpsed Jasper attacking his dark brown curls with his nails.
He wasn’t doing math problems like usual.
I should have noticed sooner.
I should have noticed his heavy breathing, panicky breaths coming out in hysterical sobs that the rest of the class and teacher ignored. I know, looking back, I didn’t want to. I was in denial that it had spread to our side.
“Jasper?” I said with a tangled tongue. I wanted to ask if he was okay, but when he lifted his head, I saw the exact same—that look of fright and pain I’d seen in Lily and Scarlett. Fear—the kind of fear I’d never expected a kid to feel. His whole body was quivering, contorting. His skin looked like it was rippling, like something was underneath. I caught something moving behind his ear, far more visible on short shaggy curls. Legs. But not tiny ones. I could see them scuttling down his neck. When I leaned forward, I could see them. But they weren’t in his hair, they were in his skin. They were twitching in his nose and trickling from his lips, choking his panicked sobs.
“Miss Lewis.” He finally whispered, spitting out writhing black. It hit the desk, crawling across his book.
“There’s something… in my head.” Jasper sobbed. “Something… in my… in my head.”
Mrs Lewis didn’t stop writing on the whiteboard. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jasper.”
I couldn’t move. If I did, I was scared I’d catch them too.
That my head would start scratching.
“But there is.” Jasper’s voice was strange. Dreamy. “They’re telling me they’re going to eat my brain.”
Like Lily, like everyone else, his eyes found nothing.
And he smiled—like he was seeing something beautiful.
When my teacher exploded I was writing.
I didn’t want to look at Jasper, whose eyes were funny, or the others—who had turned to Jasper like they were waiting. I didn’t fully register my teacher being there one second and then gone the next. I saw it as an explosion.
Not like fireworks, sizzling colours streaming across the night sky.
More like a bang. A sudden bang that sent my world spiralling. My pen dropped from my hand. I’d been writing about— about pandas. And for some reason I wanted to continue. I wanted to write more. I wanted to write pages and pages and pages of panda facts, and maybe if I was lucky, things might go back to the way they were. Maybe if I wrote enough Jasper would stop screaming. Maybe he’d stop scratching.
I didn’t register something warm hitting my face. It was the same colour as Freddie’s fingernails.
Red blurring my vision and spattering my desk and workbook.
Nobody cried out.
Jasper was the only one screaming, pulling at his hair, stumbling and staggering. But I was too busy staring at the writhing pieces of Mrs Lewis on the ground. Moving. Bugs streaming out of her and crawling across the floor. I wondered if I was one of them. If I was infected too. Because I sat too- staring at what was left of Mrs Lewis. The bugs worked in harmony, crawling across desks and streaming into my classmates' ears.
But when I looked at Holly Henderson and Nick Jacobs, they were laughing.
“That tickles!” Lily squealed when one wormed its way through her lips, and nose. And then Lily started to come apart slowly, still smiling. It was like the bugs—the lice—were folding her inside out like she was one of my dolls.
Bugs erupted from her grinning mouth, her eyes, tiny legs coming from her head, before she, like Mrs Lewis—
Popped.
That’s what it sounded like.
Pop! Lily sounded like a balloon.
I didn’t look. I squeezed my crimson eyes shut.
But I still heard her. Them. I heard them writhing through the speckled pieces of Lily.
SKRRR. CH. CH.
When I lifted my head, kids started to pop like Lily. I was so busy staring, watching them disappear in shades of red, I didn’t notice Jasper had grabbed me and pulled me to my feet. The world spun around me and I blinked.
I felt like I was floating—flying, my feet slipping on the floor.
Jasper’s cry.
“Get them off me!”
When he opened his mouth to cry, there were holes on his tongue.
And the bugs came popping from his lips like maggots, gagging his cries.
Jasper was grasping hold of his head, cradling it, because he knew.
He’d seen what had happened to the others.
I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to look. But I found my gaze flicking to the back of his head, which was— twitching. There was something there, something fighting to get out. The boy moaned, falling to his knees.
“Get them out of my head! Get them out!”
Jasper was crying, slamming his head into his desk, his trembling hands going to his neck— and I realised he was trying to choke himself, or more accurately, choke the crawlies bulging in his throat.
I remember grabbing hold of him, wrapping my arms around him. I don’t know what I was trying to do.
I think I was trying to pick them off him in the hysteria building and building—- I remember he hit the ground and took me with him. I was picking bugs from his face, trying not to look at his eyes, dancing pupils multiplying into ones and twos and threes expanding and shrinking.
I was staring at him, trying to choke out his name when I knew it wasn’t really him anymore. It couldn’t be. Jasper didn’t have three pupils.
“Jasper.” I was saying his name over and over again. “Why do you have funny eyes?”
I said it like a mantra.
I wouldn’t stop until he answered me.
That was before the bright red. It was hitting me in the face, and my hands were in front of me trying to find Jasper, but only clawing thin air. At my feet I knew he was there, like the others, glittering scarlet contorting beneath me.
And the bugs that had spewed out of him.
But I didn’t want to think about that.
I was going to pick the bugs off of Jasper. I was going to save him from Lily’s lice.
I was still trying to find Jasper when men in white came and pulled me away.
Away from my classroom filled with writhing black.
I was still trying to find him when they sprayed me with ice cold water.
When I was in my mom’s arms, she wore a protective suit, my face pressed against her visor.
“Mom, where’s Jasper?”
She didn’t reply, hugging me tighter. I could feel her gloved hands in my hair, feverishly flitting through strands.
When a man shaved all my hair off I didn’t complain.
The school was shut down, and mom and I moved to Canada.
I was 16 when I started growing my hair out again.
When I was 19, I caught someone scratching their head in college class.
I excused myself and went back to my dorm.
I spent hours going through my hair.
Checking.
I’m 23 now. It’s been 13 years and what happened to my fourth grade class—I’ve mostly suppressed. It was a virus, I was told. Except I knew exactly what it was. Lice. Lice that had turned my classmates into squiggling red.
I just remember squiggling red.
Yesterday, I was on the Subway to a friend's place. It’s the first time I’ve been in the US since I was 10. I could barely keep my eyes open and the light rocking of the carriages was sending me to sleep. I was squashed between a guy in ray bans with his head bowed, probably asleep, and an elderly woman with a dog. I was staring down at my lap when the guy lay his head on my shoulder. I wasn’t a fan of touching people in public, but he was warm and wouldn’t move when I tried to shove him off, so I left him.
I drifted off myself.
When I heard it.
SKRRRRRR CH CH CH.
My head jerked up, slivers of ice sliding down my spine. The train was still moving. I wasn’t dreaming.
I could hear people talking around me, a kid crying, and a teenager’s music blasting.
But it was still there. I could hear it. So close.
It was so… close.
SKRRRRRR CH CH CH.
Looking up, I realised something.
I’d never looked at the guy sitting next to me.
That was my first mistake.
My first mistake—and I can’t stop thinking about it— even now. Almost three hours later.
I can’t get his words out of my head.
As I scratch.
I keep scratching.
I can’t stop.
Because the guy sitting next to me wasn’t a stranger. Without his raybans when he slid them off, I recognised those eyes, and that stupid smile from all those years ago. His face had been carved with age—and adulthood had been good to him, a bedhead of messy light reddish curls falling in flickering eyes that drank me in feverishly—pupils that expanded and multiplied in twos, threes and fours. Jasper. When I jumped up, he reached and pulled me back down with strength that sucked the breath from my lungs.
“Well, would you look at that? We finally found you.” He said, his voice a mixture of a child and an adult—as well as an insect-like chitter. I could only stare at him, a scream clawing at my throat.
In the corner of my eye, I glimpsed blonde curls.
Another chitter, which Jasper reacted to.
Like a signal.
“Ten minutes.” He murmured, snuggling into me with a sigh. His whole body was writhing with them. I felt them tickling my ear. When I looked down, scuttling black dots ran across my shoes. “That’s how long it took for them to put us back together.”
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But they’re not adult problems. Those come later.
Kid problems are much easier to deal with. Kid problems might seem ridiculous now, but back then they were practically the end of the world for some of us. Playground politics was a thing—who was friends with who. If we didn’t wear nice clothes, kids would laugh. If we didn’t like the things other kids liked, we were weird. We were a hive-mind, obsessed with being liked, being appreciated and accepted. High school sucks, sure, but elementary school is just as bad. Nobody says it these days so I will.
Kids can be fucking cruel.
I remember my biggest problem that morning being that I hadn’t gotten the new Pokémon game—Diamond and Pearl, I think it was called. I’d begged my parents for a Nintendo DS when it came out and had opened up a brand new light pink DS Lite on my 10th birthday, the day before. I wanted the game that all the other kids were playing, but according to mom it was too expensive. Instead, I got Barbie Horse Adventures: Summer Camp.
Needless to say, I wasn’t thrilled with it.
It was raining that day.
I remember watching big, fat raindrops run down the classroom window, my head pressed to my desk and turned towards looming grey clouds. I liked pretending the raindrops were racing each other and mentally cheering them on.
I was too embarrassed to pull out my DS practically burning a hole in my skirt. I’d made the stupid mistake of telling everyone I was getting the new Pokémon game for my birthday, and the idea of admitting to them that I actually hadn’t—instead having some stupid Barbie game that I was pretending I liked—was making my stomach twist.
Still though, the rain was nice to watch. Since the weather wasn’t that great, we’d been strictly told to stay inside, though some kids had decided to ignore the teacher and go outside anyway so the classroom was mostly empty. I was watching one particular raindrop dance across the glass, when a laugh startled me out of my thoughts. When I lifted my head, I saw the usual suspects gathering around Lily’s desk.
They were bullying her again.
Licey Lily. That’s what everyone called her. Mom told me to stay away from the girl—though I think that was a universal thing all the parents told their kids. Lily came to school with clothes which didn’t fit her and holes in her socks and her shoes falling apart around her feet. When I sat behind her, sometimes I’d glimpse red markings on her wrist and her ankles. Lily didn’t wear winter clothes when it snowed. I remember when she came in late one day and wasn’t even wearing a coat. I’d heard from other kids her parents didn’t look after her, while others spread a rumour that she was an orphan. Lily had thick blonde curls that fell in front of her face in tangles and knots. Mrs Lewis tried to help her. She was maybe the only one who cared.
Mrs Lewis made sure Lily had a thick, woolly coat to play outside in. When Lily walked into class with her hair looking like a bird's nest, Mrs Lewis made it look pretty again. I liked Lily’s hair when it was brushed and in ribbons.
In kindergarten I was convinced she was a princess because her hair, despite being messy, looked like it was glowing, caught up in ethereal light from the sun.
I was sure the other kids were jealous. That was why they bullied her.
That day Lily’s hair didn’t look pretty—she didn’t look like a princess. The bright red ribbons Mrs Lewis had put in on Friday were still clinging to clumpy tangles of blonde, and she was wearing the same knitted cardigan she was wearing on Friday over a creased skirt and shoes that were too big for her. Though it wasn’t her clothes, or even the state of her hair that had attracted her usual tormentors. Lily had been scratching her head all the way through class. It wasn’t like normal though. Usually, she idly scratched maybe once or twice, but that day it had been a constant scratch, scratch, scratch all the way through class. Of course Scarlett Maine noticed.
The girl had waited until Mrs Lewis left the classroom before sidling over to Lily’s desk.
“Do you even wash your hair, Licey Lily?” Scarlett had dark hair pulled into pigtails that bobbed when she giggled. She leaned towards Lily. Scarlet acted older than she was—probably because she had a sister in high school. “My mom said only dirty kids like you get lice, and your hair is so gross.”
Lily didn’t move, her mess of blonde curls hanging in front of her face.
“Hey.” Scarlett grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged violently, “Licey Lily, why aren’t you talking to us?” She jumped back suddenly with a choked laugh. “Urgh, you can see them! They’re wriggling in her hair!”
“Scarlett.” I said. “Cut it out.”
I was ignored. If I tried to stop it, I knew what would happen. It always happened. Anyone who tried to help Lily, or told Mrs Lewis about the bullying, either got outcasted or bullied too. I opened my mouth to speak again, louder this time, but the others were in their own world—like tormenting Lily was their own personal fantasy and nobody could penetrate that little bubble of theirs. Freddie Caine who had been hovering over Scarlett with an identical cruel grin let out a disgusted snort. He grabbed Scarlett’s arm and the two of them stumbled back.
“I can see them!” He pointed, his eyes wide. “They’re all over her back! There are so many!”
More murmurs. Giggling. Some kids jumped up from their own desks and joined the growing crowd surrounding Lily. Freddie edged forwards like the desk was teeming with crawlies. “Did you make friends with them?” He whispered in Lily’s face. When the others laughed at that, Scarlett being the loudest, he shoved Lily hard.
“I bet you did.” Freddie grinned, “That’s why you’re always scratching. They’re your only friends.”
Scarlett nodded. Giggling, she rushed to her desk and grabbed her bag, pulling something out. The kids laughed harder. It was a water bottle—but it definitely wasn’t filled with water. Lily seemed to notice this too. She came back to life, lifting her head, glistening eyes widening in panic. I already knew what Scarlett was going to do, but nobody could stop her. Scarlett rounded Lily’s desk and held the bottle up high over the trembling girl’s head.
“Bath time!” Scarlett giggled, tipping the bottle.
I was aware of something that wasn’t water splashing down on a squeaking Lily’s head. She cried out, trying to shield herself. When she tried to jump up, tears welling in her eyes, Freddie and two other girls held her down. Scarlett didn’t stop until the bottle was empty and Lily was soaking wet, her cardigan glued to her, a huge wet patch on her skirt. When Lily lifted her head, her sopping knotted curls hung in clumps in front of her eyes. The bottle hit the ground and Freddie picked it up with a frown.
“What is that?” He sniffed it and pulled a face. “That stinks!”
The other kids murmured in agreement, and Scarlett shrugged. Her gaze pierced Lily, who was crying, her entire body trembling with the force of her sobs. “It’s apple juice, dummy! “ She said, “My mom wouldn’t let me fill my water bottle and my big sister was in the shower, so I got some apple juice from my dad’s office. It was on his desk.”
Freddie pinched his nose. “That’s not apple juice!” His voice was all nasally, “It smells like old socks! And it’s green!”
“You’re going to get in trouble.” Jasper Parker spoke up. He sat across from me and barely ever spoke- unless it was to brag about how smart he was. He’d been organising his gold sticker collection, though the splash had made him jump. He wasn’t smiling, though the muscles in his face were gradually contorting into one. Jasper wasn’t fooling me. I knew he only pretended to be nice so he could maintain his position as best student. He found it funny. I could see it in the sparkle in his eyes, his smirk when Scarlett and Freddie shoved Lily into her chair.
“Yeah?” Freddie’s gaze found Jasper’s. “Are you going to tattle, Goody Two Shoes?”
Jasper shrugged. “No.” He went back to his gold sticker collection, though his voice had softened a little. Goodie Two Shoes was his nickname in 3rd grade. Not just that—Jasper was obsessed with being the teacher’s pet. He had been as unpopular as Lily before bringing in Pokémon cards one day, and suddenly he was cool. Jasper had all the special sparkly ones he happily traded, so naturally the other kids had decided he wasn’t so bad after all. “She needed a bath. She stinks.”
“Stinky Lily!” Isabel Hades laughed, the others joining in – including Jasper, bowing his head further.
Ignoring them, Scarlett’s attention was on Lily, who had stood up, her hair dripping. All of her was dripping. Her clothes, her face—her eyes. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and yet they still laughed, pushing and shoving her. “See?” Scarlett’s voice was sugary sweet. “I’m so nice, Licey Lily! I even gave your friends a bath!”
Lily didn’t speak. She only ran out of the classroom, the others laughter chasing her all the way down the corridor. When the girl was gone, the other kids returned to their desk and Scarlett acted like nothing had happened. Jasper grabbed a mop from the janitor's closet, lying that Lily had spilled her water and cleaned up the mess on his own. He always did that— always helping someone or doing something helpful for his own gain.
When Jasper was mopping up the mess, I was frowning at him.
Well, not him. Because we all knew if you looked at a boy for too long you would explode or get cooties.
I wasn’t looking at Jasper, or the giant spot on his chin. No. I was staring at the liquid pooling at his feet which definitely wasn’t water. It was a funny green colour, and it was maybe a little thicker. It reminded me of Nickelodeon slime if it had been watered down. The green so-called water was giving me the creeps. I was looking at it for maybe a little too long, because Jasper noticed my gaze when he looked up.
He didn’t look happy.
It was an unwritten rule that boy’s and girl’s didn’t talk to each other unless they wanted a song being made about them. I could still remember when Sara Jacobs and Josh Simons had been caught talking to each other together in the playground. The next day, everyone was talking about it—and Scarlett was skipping around the two of them, singing that stupid rhyme that always got stuck in my head.
“Sara and Josh sitting in a tree! K. I. S. S. I. N. G.”
Jasper bugged out his eyes. “What are you looking at?”
“What’s that you’re cleaning up?”
“Apple juice.” Jasper said, not sounding sure.
“Uh-huh.” I folded my arms. “And why are you cleaning it up? That’s Scarlett’s mess.”
He stuck out his tongue, going back to mopping up. “None of your beeswax.”
I scoffed. I’d picked up the other kids' taunts over the years—and they felt natural coming off my tongue, slick like honey. This is where I admit I was no different from the others.
“You’re just being a teacher’s pet as usual.”
Jasper didn’t lift his head, but I noticed his mopping slowed a little—his fingers tightening around the handle.
“I know your secret.”
“My secret?”
Jasper nodded. “You have a Barbie game.” He giggled. “I saw you playing it under your desk.”
“And?”
He scrubbed a little harder. “If you call me that again I’ll tell everybody you play Barbie games.”
Jasper had won.
I stood down.
Lily came back before class started again. Since it was raining, she matched a bunch of other kids who had gone outside to play in the shower. So she too had been yelled at by Mrs Lewis. The teacher had handed out towels so they could dry themselves, and it hadn’t been long before Freddie had snatched Lily’s and screwed it into a ball, throwing it to the back of the classroom. Lily trembled all the way through math. At first I thought it was because she was cold, but when I lifted my head from my drawing, I saw her body was quivering—her pale hands gripping her scalp, fingernails scratching at her forehead. She was whimpering to herself, hiding behind her book.
The scratching got worse until she curled into herself, her fingers clawing at her curls.
It was endless. The noise didn’t stop all the way through class.
When I was trying to answer questions, all I could hear was scratch, scratch, scratch. “Lily?” Mrs Lewis stopped explaining multiplication. “Are you okay?”
The girl’s head bobbed up and down in a sharp nod, and Mrs Lewis went back to teaching.
“Licey Lily.” Scarlett, who had insisted on sitting behind Lily, kicked the back of the girl’s chair.
“Her friends are dancing.” She said, loud enough for us to hear, but not the teacher.
Everyone giggled, and Lily scratched harder—until she was squeaking, scratting at her scalp.
I caught Jasper staring, his eyes wide. He wasn’t smiling or laughing like the others.
Instead, he was frowning at the floor where the mess had been.
At lunch it had stopped raining and I was relieved to get out of the classroom. I ate my lunch in the cafeteria before heading outside. There was a game of Tag happening, but the last time I’d joined in I’d ended up with skinned knees. Instead, I headed to the jungle gym—and there I found Lily. She was sitting on the very top, her legs dangling off the edge. Lily wasn’t wearing a coat and I remember feeling a chill down my spine when I noticed how pale her exposed arms were. The girl was shivering, her head of blonde curls pressed into her lap.
She was scratching again, scratching, scratching, scratching – and I swore when her fingers left her hair, I could see flecks of white stuck in her nails. Lily lifted her head. She wasn’t looking at me, her gaze on something else far away. It was the first time, I remember thinking—the first time I’d seen her face in a while. She always had her head bowed and was hiding behind her hair. Her cheeks were white, her lips twisted into a pained cry. “They won’t stop.” She was whispering to herself, her hands like claws going back into her hair and grasping at clumps of ratty gold and ragging violently. Her whole body shuddered, “They won’t stop.”
“They’re mean.” I said, “Don’t listen to them, okay? I like your hair. It’s really pretty!”
Lily didn’t respond, raking her fingernails down her face. “They won’t stop. Won’t stop. Won’t stop!”
Swallowing hard, I took slow steps towards her. “Lily?” I reached into my pocket to pull out my DS. My first thought was to let her play it. Maybe that might make her feel better. When I was pulling it out, though, Lily startled me with a shriek. “Stop!” Her hands balled into fists and she slammed them into her head, her sobs growing progressively more hysterical. Lily was running her hands through her hair and then staring down at the palms of her hands with a look of fright of terror. It hit me, then—that she wasn’t talking about Scarlett and the others. I felt myself take a slow step back. Lily was talking about the lice—the bugs crawling in her hair.
“Mommy.” Lily whimpered, her shaking fingers entangled with knotty curls. “I want my mommy.”
“I’ll get Mrs Lewis.”
But Lily wasn’t listening. She was swaying slightly, squeezing her eyes shut.
When I ran back inside, lunch had ended and everyone was heading to class. I flew directly into Mrs Lewis in my rush. Normally, I’d squeak out an apology or run away, but the words were already streaming from my mouth before I could help them. I could still see Lily in my mind—swaying back and forth, her eyes flickering, the red staining her fingernails. “It’s Lily!” I shrieked. “She’s outside, and she’s crying,” I gestured with my hands, pointing to my own head. “She had bugs in her hair. Like, humongous bugs, and she keeps scratching and the bugs are really big—”
“Miri.” Mrs Lewis cut me off, “Calm down. First of all, we don’t say bugs. They’re called lice, and they’re completely normal. All kids your age will get lice.” Her eyes found the end of the corridor. “Where is Lily now?”
“She’s on the jungle gym.” I said, “Is Lily going to be okay? Is she going to give us all lice?”
The teacher’s eyes turned sharp, and I automatically knew I’d said the wrong thing.
“Okay, Miri. Tell everyone I’m going to be a little late. I’ll go and find Lily.”
When I went back to class, someone had drawn a stickwoman on the board with a giant bug on her head.
I slumped in my chair and turned to Jasper, who was organising his crayons in order of shade.
“Hey.” I pointed to the board. “Who drew that?”
“Scarlett.” He muttered. “I’ve already wiped it off three times.”
I was daydreaming, counting clouds in the sky—trying to ignore Freddie and Scarlett singing about bugs, when Mrs Lewis came back. She was hand in hand with Lily, who looked better. I wasn’t sure how, but the girl seemed different. The way she moved, holding her head high as she skipped to her desk. Lily was skipping. She was smiling. Her eyes were bright—a glitter in her demeanour that none of us knew. We only knew the girl who stared down at the floor, peering through straggly hair. It’s not like her hair was better. It was worse, matted to her back.
When she found her seat, giggling to herself, her hands went back to her hair—scratching.
But she was smiling, giggling, laughing, as her scratting got more intense, raking her scalp. Her fingernails—I thought, something slimy creeping up my throat. Lily’s fingernails were still red, and the white flecks had turned fleshy pink. It was like jello, stuck to her nails and splattered on her palms. I didn’t want to think about what the goop was. I was squinting at the wooden grains of my desk to avoid barfing, when a shadow loomed.
I looked up to find Mrs Lewis glaring down at me.
“Miri, I am very disappointed in you. Lily is perfectly fine. If I hear you saying things about other children I will be talking to your mother. Do you understand me?”
I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off.
“Would you like it if some of your friends said mean things about your hair?”
“But Mrs Lewis,” I whispered, “She did. I saw the bugs. They were making her cry.”
The teacher shook her head. “I combed through Lily’s hair several times. She does not have lice.”
If Mrs Lewis had combed through her hair, it wouldn’t still be a mess.
Why was she lying?
“She does though.” Jasper spoke up. “I saw them crawling in her hair.”
“Jasper!” The teacher’s voice hardened. “Of everyone in this class, I didn’t expect you to join in this bullying.”
“It’s not bullying!” He said, “Mrs Lewis, she has lice! Like, crazy lice!”
The teacher ignored us and went back to the front. I was surprised that Scarlett hadn’t spoken a word.
“Get out your workbooks.” Mrs Lewis told everyone.
“I was going to let you write stories today, since it’s coming up to the holidays, but since all you can do is make mean remarks against your friends, I want you to work in silence. Do the activity on pages 5, 6, and 8. Jasper, put your hand down. Yes, I know you’ve already done them—you can turn to the back and do question 10.”
Mrs Lewis cleared her throat. “Is that understood?”
“Yes, Mrs Lewis!” Lily chirped.
I heard the collective breath from everyone.
It was the first time in days that Lily had spoken without being forced to. There was something strange about her face. When I looked at the girl for long enough, she didn’t move, didn’t blink, her lips splitting her mouth apart into a smile. But her hands kept going—kept scratching, even when the fleshy pink built up in her fingernails. The teacher smiled, seemingly failing to notice the state of Lily. If she did, she didn’t care.
“Well done, Lily.”
I went through my workbook, struggling with the questions, especially when Lily would not stop scratching at her head. It was driving me crazy and knowing the damage she was doing to her head, seeing her wearing that unnerving grin—she was scaring me. I wanted to tell Mrs Lewis there was something wrong, but the words wouldn’t form in my mouth. I didn’t want to get in trouble again, but Lily’s scratching was unbearable.
When we were done, Mrs Lewis went around the class asking for answers.
Only two hands shot into the air.
Jasper, as usual— and to my surprise, Lily. Mrs Lewis looked equally baffled. Still, she nodded and smiled at the girl. “Lily, do you have the answer to—” she flicked through the workbook. “Question two?”
Lili shook her head. “No, but I have the answer for the one you’re doing.”
“Hmm?” The teacher looked confused, and Lily giggled, pointing to the red notebook on her desk.
“That one! The question you’re looking for is X=2. If you divide—“ Her words didn’t make sense to me, just like gibberish. I’d never heard of that kind of math. We were doing division, and I was still struggling with the basics.
Lily had never answered a math question, though I’d noticed her workbooks had always been coloured in green marker pen and glittery stickers. I guess it made sense that she was smart at math, but I didn’t understand how she’d somehow gotten the answer to the problem in Mrs Lewis’s private notebook.
“Lily, that’s not the question I’m asking. What’s the correct answer to question two?”
“Three.” Lily said. “Duh. You just divide 21 and 7.”
“That’s right.” Mrs Lewis’s lips pricked into a smile. “However, we do not say that word.”
Lily nodded and sat down with a bounce, her hands going back to scratch at her hair.
Behind me, Jasper grumbled. "I knew that."
When the day was over I was ready to get home—away from Lily and the smile that was stuck to her face.
Lily was packing up her stuff when Scarlet shoved past her.
“Get out of my way, Licey Lily! Don’t touch me.”
To my surprise, Lily laughed. She reached out her hand, giggling, and tucked a straying strand of Scarlett’s hair behind her ear. Beaming, Lily’s expression glittered with something I couldn’t and never would understand.
They looked strange—her eyes, I mean. They looked like they were moving, her pupils growing larger and then smaller, bouncing up and down like in cartoons. I had to blink to see if I was seeing things. When I turned around, Jasper was staring too, his mouth open, gaping.
Lily tugged her pigtails—hard.
I’d never seen Scarlett look scared. She always looked happy, always gleeful.
And yet then, I only saw terror. I saw a whole new shade of her personality bleeding through.
“They like your hair, Scarlett.” Lily murmured. “They’ve been talking to me and they want to eat it all up! And then they want to eat up your brain too!” Still laughing, Lily pressed her head to Scarlett’s. The girl didn’t move. Freddie, standing nearby, looked shaken, his lips twisted in disgust. And then I knew why. Because when I looked at Lily properly, I saw that her hair was moving. Twitching. I could see them, I could see bugs skittering across her head. I saw tiny legs peeking from her hairline. Freddie hissed out. “Hey.” His voice was shaky.
“Stop that.”
Scarlett stumbled back, clinging to Freddie.
“You’re so gross.” She managed to hiss. “Get… get away from me.”
Lily’s pupils shrunk to a dot. “I’ll see you tomorrow!”
She was skipping away before any of them could respond.
That night I told mom to wash my hair three times just in case.
A sicky feeling had followed me to the Elementary school gates the next day.
I kept my head down for most of the morning. Scarlett was quiet and Lily had stopped scratching—she’d stopped everything though. Lily didn’t raise her hand to answer questions or work in her books.
She just sat there staring at nothing and smiling. Like she could see something I couldn’t.
I noticed scratching during reading period. When I lifted my head though, it was Freddie scratting his curls.
The scratching spread like a virus. By the end of the class it was everyone. Even Mrs Lewis.
At recess, I went to the bathroom to hide from Lily, who was eagerly dancing across the classroom and pressing her head to other kids.
They didn’t run though. They just stood and let her. When I was washing my hands, a stall creaked open, and Scarlett came out. She didn’t look like she usually did. Her hair was a tangled mess, no longer in pigtails, instead hanging in her face. Scarlett’s eyes didn’t find me, instead flicking to the mirror. Taking slow steps, she went over to the mirror and clawed at her hair, yanking and pulling at it.
“Make it stop.” She whispered, nails like claws scratching at her head, and then her face. Her eyes were red, and when I looked closer—I had to swallow a cry. Scarlett’s hair was moving. Just like with Lily. I saw them, bulging black bugs sticking to her hair and scuttling across her forehead. The girl’s arms were wild, trying to dig and claw and pull them off, but they were merciless, sticking into her skin and not letting go. She lunged forwards, her body swaying like she was dizzy before slamming her head into the mirror with a wet splat. My body froze up.
Blood, I thought.
There was blood.
“Stop.” Scarlett’s head hit the mirror again. Splat. More blood. More blood smearing the glass. I felt my legs give way and my knees hit cold tiles, my eyes glued to the bugs burrowing under her hair, clawing into her skin.
“They’re in my head.” She whimpered, her eyes flickering. Her pupils were bulging, growing bigger and then smaller, and the skin of her face contorted, like they were under there too. They were everywhere, I realised.
They were in her hands, bulging bumps writhing under the skin of her flesh when she tried to claw at her hair—but her hands fell limp by her side. Like they were stopping her. Puppeteering her.
“I can… hear them.” Scarlett’s contorting pupils found mine. When she opened her mouth to scream, I spied tiny holes on her tongue. “They’re in my head,” her voice was light, almost dreamy. “I want my… I want my mommy.”
Scarlett held out her hands, staring wide-eyed at fleshy pink covering her skin.
Mommy. Her lips moved, but no sound came out.
When I saw tiny black dots writhe across the whites of her eyes, bulging into her pupils like it was taking over—
I screamed.
I just remembered screaming, and the BANG when Scarlett’s head hit the mirror again, and again.
Until her head didn’t look like a head.
“Miri?”
The familiar voice made me cry harder.
Jasper stumbled in, one hand covering his eyes, the other grasping at the wall to balance him. “This is the girl’s bathroom! I could get a disease here,” He groaned. “Why are you screaming? Is there a spider?”
“Scarlett!” I managed to whisper when the girl flopped to the ground. “It’s Scarlett!”
“What’s wrong with her?“
“Miss Lewis.” I backed into the wall, watching her body flailing. “Get Miss Lewis!”
Staggered footsteps.
The door shut, and I was alone with Scarlett.
And it was the first time I heard it.
Staring down at my lap, I refused to look at Scarlett, at the smear of red on the mirror. I was counting my breaths when I heard it—skittering and twitching. I heard them burrowing into Scarlett’s head, dancing across her hair.
SKKRR. CHH. CHH. CHH.
I was sobbing when Mrs Lewis hurried in, Jasper at her side. His hands were still over his eyes.
“Miri!” Mrs Lewis hissed out. “What’s going on?”
“Scarlett.” I whimpered into my dress. “She’s—”
I opened my mouth to speak, but then my eyes caught Scarlett standing in front of the mirror. She looked normal again. There was no splash of deep red painting her face, no dent in her head where she’d smashed her face into the mirror. I noticed there was dripping toilet paper tinged red balled in her fists. She’d wiped it off, I thought. Scarlett had cleaned the mirror. When the girl faced the teacher, her eyes were funny—like Lily’s.
“Yes, Mrs Lewis?”
I squinted, catching movement on the shrinking crack in the mirror.
Tiny black dots— like ants— crawling across the glass. They were fixing it, I realised.
Like the dent in Scarlett’s head.
Had they fixed her too?
Jasper peeked through his hands. “Is it okay to look?”
Mrs Lewis was red-faced. “This is the second time, Miri!” She yelled. “This isn’t an isolated case, this is crying wolf!”
I didn’t know what that meant.
Slowly, I got to my feet. I was trembling.
“Miss Lewis.“ My voice was shaking. “Scarlet had—“ I reached into my own hair. “Magic… magic bugs—"
“Lice?” The teacher finished. “I’m going to talk to your mother. This is unacceptable behaviour.”
She gestured to the door. “Girls. Get to class. Jasper, stay behind. I’d like to talk to you.”
Jasper squeaked. “Me? Why?”
“Just a talk, Jasper.”
“But—I didn’t do anything!”
I didn’t want to leave Jasper—but I didn’t have a choice.
On the way back to class, I considered going home. I wanted to run away—back to mom. Someone’s hand clawed in my hair, entangling in my ponytail. I cried out, pulling away. It was Scarlett with eyes that weren’t hers anymore. “Pretty hair!” She sang, tugging on my hair. “Pretty, pretty, pretty hair!”
I was the only one not scratching my head when I went back to the classroom. The other kids continued playing, laughing, talking—scratting at their heads. Lily sat at her desk—as did Scarlett and Freddie. They didn’t move. They didn’t join in. Freddie’s fingernails were red, but he didn’t care, scratching and scratching and scratching.
I pressed my hands over my ears to block out the noise.
When Jasper sat back in his seat, his eyes were red. I turned to him quickly. “What did she say?”
The boy glowered at me. “I’m not the star student anymore,” He mumbled. “Mrs Lewis said I can have my stickers back when I stop being mean to Lily.” His eyes narrowed into slits. “This is all your fault, Miri. You’re the one who keeps saying there’s bugs in kids' hair. You made me go in the girl’s bathroom, so now I’ve got girl cooties.”
Jasper rested his head in his arms. “Mrs Lewis was weird too. She kept touching my head.”
“What?” I hissed, leaning my chair against his desk. “Jasper, what happened?”
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” He grumbled into his arms. “Go away.”
Jasper wasn’t lying. He ignored me for the rest of the day. Even when I offered him the cupcake my mom had packed me. He ate it in one bite and went back to glaring at his own lunch. I wanted to talk to him, because he was the only one who wasn’t acting weird. The other kids started to follow Lily and Scarlett and Freddie. They stopped playing, stopped talking and laughing, and just sat in silence. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand the scratching. I wanted to go home. When I told Mrs Lewis I felt sick, she just smiled and told me I was crying wolf.
It was only much later on when I realised I was the only one left. I was writing about panda’s when I heard it coming from behind me. It started slow, soft, and then grew louder. When I turned around, it wasn’t Ella or Jack or Sara scratching their heads. Instead, I glimpsed Jasper attacking his dark brown curls with his nails.
He wasn’t doing math problems like usual.
I should have noticed sooner.
I should have noticed his heavy breathing, panicky breaths coming out in hysterical sobs that the rest of the class and teacher ignored. I know, looking back, I didn’t want to. I was in denial that it had spread to our side.
“Jasper?” I said with a tangled tongue. I wanted to ask if he was okay, but when he lifted his head, I saw the exact same—that look of fright and pain I’d seen in Lily and Scarlett. Fear—the kind of fear I’d never expected a kid to feel. His whole body was quivering, contorting. His skin looked like it was rippling, like something was underneath. I caught something moving behind his ear, far more visible on short shaggy curls. Legs. But not tiny ones. I could see them scuttling down his neck. When I leaned forward, I could see them. But they weren’t in his hair, they were in his skin. They were twitching in his nose and trickling from his lips, choking his panicked sobs.
“Miss Lewis.” He finally whispered, spitting out writhing black. It hit the desk, crawling across his book.
“There’s something… in my head.” Jasper sobbed. “Something… in my… in my head.”
Mrs Lewis didn’t stop writing on the whiteboard. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jasper.”
I couldn’t move. If I did, I was scared I’d catch them too.
That my head would start scratching.
“But there is.” Jasper’s voice was strange. Dreamy. “They’re telling me they’re going to eat my brain.”
Like Lily, like everyone else, his eyes found nothing.
And he smiled—like he was seeing something beautiful.
When my teacher exploded I was writing.
I didn’t want to look at Jasper, whose eyes were funny, or the others—who had turned to Jasper like they were waiting. I didn’t fully register my teacher being there one second and then gone the next. I saw it as an explosion.
Not like fireworks, sizzling colours streaming across the night sky.
More like a bang. A sudden bang that sent my world spiralling. My pen dropped from my hand. I’d been writing about— about pandas. And for some reason I wanted to continue. I wanted to write more. I wanted to write pages and pages and pages of panda facts, and maybe if I was lucky, things might go back to the way they were. Maybe if I wrote enough Jasper would stop screaming. Maybe he’d stop scratching.
I didn’t register something warm hitting my face. It was the same colour as Freddie’s fingernails.
Red blurring my vision and spattering my desk and workbook.
Nobody cried out.
Jasper was the only one screaming, pulling at his hair, stumbling and staggering. But I was too busy staring at the writhing pieces of Mrs Lewis on the ground. Moving. Bugs streaming out of her and crawling across the floor. I wondered if I was one of them. If I was infected too. Because I sat too- staring at what was left of Mrs Lewis. The bugs worked in harmony, crawling across desks and streaming into my classmates' ears.
But when I looked at Holly Henderson and Nick Jacobs, they were laughing.
“That tickles!” Lily squealed when one wormed its way through her lips, and nose. And then Lily started to come apart slowly, still smiling. It was like the bugs—the lice—were folding her inside out like she was one of my dolls.
Bugs erupted from her grinning mouth, her eyes, tiny legs coming from her head, before she, like Mrs Lewis—
Popped.
That’s what it sounded like.
Pop! Lily sounded like a balloon.
I didn’t look. I squeezed my crimson eyes shut.
But I still heard her. Them. I heard them writhing through the speckled pieces of Lily.
SKRRR. CH. CH.
When I lifted my head, kids started to pop like Lily. I was so busy staring, watching them disappear in shades of red, I didn’t notice Jasper had grabbed me and pulled me to my feet. The world spun around me and I blinked.
I felt like I was floating—flying, my feet slipping on the floor.
Jasper’s cry.
“Get them off me!”
When he opened his mouth to cry, there were holes on his tongue.
And the bugs came popping from his lips like maggots, gagging his cries.
Jasper was grasping hold of his head, cradling it, because he knew.
He’d seen what had happened to the others.
I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to look. But I found my gaze flicking to the back of his head, which was— twitching. There was something there, something fighting to get out. The boy moaned, falling to his knees.
“Get them out of my head! Get them out!”
Jasper was crying, slamming his head into his desk, his trembling hands going to his neck— and I realised he was trying to choke himself, or more accurately, choke the crawlies bulging in his throat.
I remember grabbing hold of him, wrapping my arms around him. I don’t know what I was trying to do.
I think I was trying to pick them off him in the hysteria building and building—- I remember he hit the ground and took me with him. I was picking bugs from his face, trying not to look at his eyes, dancing pupils multiplying into ones and twos and threes expanding and shrinking.
I was staring at him, trying to choke out his name when I knew it wasn’t really him anymore. It couldn’t be. Jasper didn’t have three pupils.
“Jasper.” I was saying his name over and over again. “Why do you have funny eyes?”
I said it like a mantra.
I wouldn’t stop until he answered me.
That was before the bright red. It was hitting me in the face, and my hands were in front of me trying to find Jasper, but only clawing thin air. At my feet I knew he was there, like the others, glittering scarlet contorting beneath me.
And the bugs that had spewed out of him.
But I didn’t want to think about that.
I was going to pick the bugs off of Jasper. I was going to save him from Lily’s lice.
I was still trying to find Jasper when men in white came and pulled me away.
Away from my classroom filled with writhing black.
I was still trying to find him when they sprayed me with ice cold water.
When I was in my mom’s arms, she wore a protective suit, my face pressed against her visor.
“Mom, where’s Jasper?”
She didn’t reply, hugging me tighter. I could feel her gloved hands in my hair, feverishly flitting through strands.
When a man shaved all my hair off I didn’t complain.
The school was shut down, and mom and I moved to Canada.
I was 16 when I started growing my hair out again.
When I was 19, I caught someone scratching their head in college class.
I excused myself and went back to my dorm.
I spent hours going through my hair.
Checking.
I’m 23 now. It’s been 13 years and what happened to my fourth grade class—I’ve mostly suppressed. It was a virus, I was told. Except I knew exactly what it was. Lice. Lice that had turned my classmates into squiggling red.
I just remember squiggling red.
Yesterday, I was on the Subway to a friend's place. It’s the first time I’ve been in the US since I was 10. I could barely keep my eyes open and the light rocking of the carriages was sending me to sleep. I was squashed between a guy in ray bans with his head bowed, probably asleep, and an elderly woman with a dog. I was staring down at my lap when the guy lay his head on my shoulder. I wasn’t a fan of touching people in public, but he was warm and wouldn’t move when I tried to shove him off, so I left him.
I drifted off myself.
When I heard it.
SKRRRRRR CH CH CH.
My head jerked up, slivers of ice sliding down my spine. The train was still moving. I wasn’t dreaming.
I could hear people talking around me, a kid crying, and a teenager’s music blasting.
But it was still there. I could hear it. So close.
It was so… close.
SKRRRRRR CH CH CH.
Looking up, I realised something.
I’d never looked at the guy sitting next to me.
That was my first mistake.
My first mistake—and I can’t stop thinking about it— even now. Almost three hours later.
I can’t get his words out of my head.
As I scratch.
I keep scratching.
I can’t stop.
Because the guy sitting next to me wasn’t a stranger. Without his raybans when he slid them off, I recognised those eyes, and that stupid smile from all those years ago. His face had been carved with age—and adulthood had been good to him, a bedhead of messy light reddish curls falling in flickering eyes that drank me in feverishly—pupils that expanded and multiplied in twos, threes and fours. Jasper. When I jumped up, he reached and pulled me back down with strength that sucked the breath from my lungs.
“Well, would you look at that? We finally found you.” He said, his voice a mixture of a child and an adult—as well as an insect-like chitter. I could only stare at him, a scream clawing at my throat.
In the corner of my eye, I glimpsed blonde curls.
Another chitter, which Jasper reacted to.
Like a signal.
“Ten minutes.” He murmured, snuggling into me with a sigh. His whole body was writhing with them. I felt them tickling my ear. When I looked down, scuttling black dots ran across my shoes. “That’s how long it took for them to put us back together.”
2023.05.30 00:58 wecanhaveallthree [a very, very short story] In which our Luddic hero has a nap, appreciates the dangers of space travel, and witnesses a brief theological dispute.
Starsector is fun. Here's some very brief Starsector fiction for your perusal, which is hopefully also fun.
Trapped in crushing darkness.
Cole’s arms shot out as soon as his brain registered that his eyes were open, but seeing nothing. He flailed like a man drowning, cold, hard metal mapping out the narrowness of his coffin in swelling bruises on his skin. The isolation choked him, stole his screams, and took the very breath from his lungs in a mad panic. Great Prophet, no! A mine collapse!
He couldn’t remember which shaft he’d been working. He couldn’t remember which shift, or the run-boss, or the warnings he and all the rest had ignored every time they’d picked at Asher’s dry bones. Cole had heard them more than he’d heard the sermons, heard them so many times from so many mouths that they’d simply become the background of his penitent toil. Now his ignorance had buried him - the weight of compounded sin, as real and terrible as the great mass of collapsed rock and steel above.
His fists beat a desperate message, though only the Prophet Himself could hear it now-
An answering knock. A short, sharp staccato of raps. Mine-morse. Tunnel-signal. CALM. Again. SAFE.
A rasp, a hiss, a grinding of ancient, devilish machinery - and there was light.
An impish, wrinkled face peered into the makeshift sleep-chamber - no more than an ad hoc welding of emptied supply crates barely fit for an adult human - and smiled. ‘Bad dreams, Asherite?’
Cole gulped in a lungful of stale, recycled air. Even that tasted strange, absent the ever-present grit he’d grown up with - like it was lacking something substantial and had replaced it with ethereal trickery. He barely trusted himself to nod, and was more surprised to blurt out in a strangled gasp: ‘Am I really here?’
A great smile creased his rescuer’s face. ‘Ludd, yes! The great void, Asherite, the black between stars, the realm of Moloch and Mammon!’ A sly wink. ‘Hyperspace, lad. The captain wastes no time on this route, we went interstellar as soon as you pilgrims were stowed.’
‘I thought… I dreamed…’ Cole shook his head, and swung from the makeshift berth’s rack and unsteadily to his feet, smoothing out his faded green robe. It had belonged to his father - sewn by his mother, dyed in the orbital vats by a work-crew acquaintance - and worn only rarely, for there was little cause for celebration on murky, misbegotten Asher and no formal event but Ascension Eve. It had been the most precious thing that the family owned. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Hm.’ The rescuer didn’t even reach Cole’s shoulder; he looked up into the youth’s eyes. ‘No, probably not. You Asherites never deal with the pods well. I learned the knock-language just so I wouldn’t have to wrestle any more young devils who spring up like Mammon has their soul halfway out.’
Cole paled, half-turned to the enclosed cradle that had so recently seemed his grave. He noticed more than a few others looking equally wan, and it wasn’t just the cramped quarters. The Domain had called it space-shock when they ruled the stars - Cole had read that in the pamphlet dutifully recording all the dangers of interstellar travel. They were issued, by law, to any seeking leave to travel the Pilgrim’s Path. A collection of sermons and screeds that warned of all the direful fates that could - and did - regularly befall spacers even in the local, civilized space of Pre-Collapse times. In the oft-lawless fringes of the Persean Sector, the risks were multiplied tenfold.
Perhaps it was the secret cynic, the closeted heretic, the little sinner in the back of his mind - but Cole couldn’t help but wonder. If death was so certain, why did the same ships run the same routes, carry the same cargo for so long? The independent vessels who carried pilgrims from Asher ran almost like clockwork, and some of them had been working the route for a decade or more. Their timetables - as well as their prices - were well-known, and competition for deck space was fierce, though Cole had to admit, mostly fair.
It had cost him a year’s scrip and duty-tokens to book passage, one adult male, one tough leather carryall that held a well-thumbed Teachings of the Great Prophet and his best work coverall - all his worldly possessions, in fact.
He could remember walking unsteadily through Asher’s orbital, the mercifully brief ride up from the surface in a lifter, being escorted into a carefully-shielded hanger bay to board. All the newness, all the strangeness - and when the Mudskipper’s shutters had come down, when the vast nothingness of space had first been revealed to the pilgrims, many had done exactly as Cole had. Dazed, sick with space-shock, they had retired to their own pods. More than half the doors were closed, still, even with the transport’s shutters once again down against the truly strange vistas of hyperspace.
Some things could be too much to take in at once, and the joke about holding back space-mad pilgrims had more than an edge of truth to it.
Certainly, the man who had woken Cole looked capable. Short, yes, further withered by age, but built like a compact reactor and with the grip strength of a chain hoist. Cole knew the kind, had sweated side-by-side with them in the deep pits: the run-bosses, the sergeants, the anchors and anchorites on whom every endeavour came to depend.
‘You pilgrims?’ Cole asked. Somewhere towards the ship’s fore, a voice was rising in fervent prayer. ‘You’re not of the Church?’
‘Plenty of secular ships in the trade.’ The rescuer glanced in the same direction as Cole had, and his eyes narrowed. Trouble, perhaps. ‘That surprise you?’
‘Maybe. I don’t know.’ Cole blinked. The voice grew louder, and others were joining the call. ‘I know the Church is widely accepted, but…’ He waved a hand, prevaricating, helpless to explain his meaning without harm. ‘...I’m sorry, but I know nothing of spacers.’
‘Well, we’re still human, with all the wonderful differences of opinion that come with being such.’ Now words were drifting down to them: obscenity, profanity, denunciation of evil technologies and the evocation of hellish fiends. ‘Like yonder. I don’t judge the Church by those who tempt fate by decrying the tech that keeps them from breathing vacuum. Some, like you, have nightmares when they wake. Others, well, they feel like they need to reaffirm their faith. Think if they yell enough, Ludd will hear and forgive them, eh?’ The old eyes narrowed. The smile vanished. ‘You got anything you need to be forgiven for, lad?’
Cole hesitated a moment. He’d seen the glossy matte-black object holstered on the spacer’s hip beneath their loose shipper’s tunic. You didn’t need to read a pamphlet to know what happened to troublesome passengers in hyperspace. Would the galaxy miss one more Asherite?
Again, despite himself, he answered. ‘Yes.’
The old man’s eyes searched him for what seemed an eternity against the background of raised voices, a chorus of sinners denying their weakness. Then he nodded and clapped Cole on the arm. ‘The Knights will like you, lad. You stand up straight like that, they’ll take you, no question.’
Cole started. ‘How did you-’
‘Maybe Ludd told me, eh?’
And the old man was off, smile back, heading towards the gathering commotion. What he whistled sounded almost familiar - a strange kind of music - even as the ship’s bruisers began to restore some kind of peaceable order amongst the rowdier pilgrims. A baptism of clubs to welcome the dirtsiders into this new domain, and remind them whose sufferance they travelled under.
Cole almost felt sorry for them. But they were probably happy, he reflected: sufferers calling down their suffering. Modern-day flagellants. They knew what they were doing. He assumed.
Clear of mind and conscience, he headed towards the aft quarters and the promising smell of tea.
submitted by wecanhaveallthree to starsector [link] [comments]
Cole’s arms shot out as soon as his brain registered that his eyes were open, but seeing nothing. He flailed like a man drowning, cold, hard metal mapping out the narrowness of his coffin in swelling bruises on his skin. The isolation choked him, stole his screams, and took the very breath from his lungs in a mad panic. Great Prophet, no! A mine collapse!
He couldn’t remember which shaft he’d been working. He couldn’t remember which shift, or the run-boss, or the warnings he and all the rest had ignored every time they’d picked at Asher’s dry bones. Cole had heard them more than he’d heard the sermons, heard them so many times from so many mouths that they’d simply become the background of his penitent toil. Now his ignorance had buried him - the weight of compounded sin, as real and terrible as the great mass of collapsed rock and steel above.
His fists beat a desperate message, though only the Prophet Himself could hear it now-
An answering knock. A short, sharp staccato of raps. Mine-morse. Tunnel-signal. CALM. Again. SAFE.
A rasp, a hiss, a grinding of ancient, devilish machinery - and there was light.
An impish, wrinkled face peered into the makeshift sleep-chamber - no more than an ad hoc welding of emptied supply crates barely fit for an adult human - and smiled. ‘Bad dreams, Asherite?’
Cole gulped in a lungful of stale, recycled air. Even that tasted strange, absent the ever-present grit he’d grown up with - like it was lacking something substantial and had replaced it with ethereal trickery. He barely trusted himself to nod, and was more surprised to blurt out in a strangled gasp: ‘Am I really here?’
A great smile creased his rescuer’s face. ‘Ludd, yes! The great void, Asherite, the black between stars, the realm of Moloch and Mammon!’ A sly wink. ‘Hyperspace, lad. The captain wastes no time on this route, we went interstellar as soon as you pilgrims were stowed.’
‘I thought… I dreamed…’ Cole shook his head, and swung from the makeshift berth’s rack and unsteadily to his feet, smoothing out his faded green robe. It had belonged to his father - sewn by his mother, dyed in the orbital vats by a work-crew acquaintance - and worn only rarely, for there was little cause for celebration on murky, misbegotten Asher and no formal event but Ascension Eve. It had been the most precious thing that the family owned. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Hm.’ The rescuer didn’t even reach Cole’s shoulder; he looked up into the youth’s eyes. ‘No, probably not. You Asherites never deal with the pods well. I learned the knock-language just so I wouldn’t have to wrestle any more young devils who spring up like Mammon has their soul halfway out.’
Cole paled, half-turned to the enclosed cradle that had so recently seemed his grave. He noticed more than a few others looking equally wan, and it wasn’t just the cramped quarters. The Domain had called it space-shock when they ruled the stars - Cole had read that in the pamphlet dutifully recording all the dangers of interstellar travel. They were issued, by law, to any seeking leave to travel the Pilgrim’s Path. A collection of sermons and screeds that warned of all the direful fates that could - and did - regularly befall spacers even in the local, civilized space of Pre-Collapse times. In the oft-lawless fringes of the Persean Sector, the risks were multiplied tenfold.
Perhaps it was the secret cynic, the closeted heretic, the little sinner in the back of his mind - but Cole couldn’t help but wonder. If death was so certain, why did the same ships run the same routes, carry the same cargo for so long? The independent vessels who carried pilgrims from Asher ran almost like clockwork, and some of them had been working the route for a decade or more. Their timetables - as well as their prices - were well-known, and competition for deck space was fierce, though Cole had to admit, mostly fair.
It had cost him a year’s scrip and duty-tokens to book passage, one adult male, one tough leather carryall that held a well-thumbed Teachings of the Great Prophet and his best work coverall - all his worldly possessions, in fact.
He could remember walking unsteadily through Asher’s orbital, the mercifully brief ride up from the surface in a lifter, being escorted into a carefully-shielded hanger bay to board. All the newness, all the strangeness - and when the Mudskipper’s shutters had come down, when the vast nothingness of space had first been revealed to the pilgrims, many had done exactly as Cole had. Dazed, sick with space-shock, they had retired to their own pods. More than half the doors were closed, still, even with the transport’s shutters once again down against the truly strange vistas of hyperspace.
Some things could be too much to take in at once, and the joke about holding back space-mad pilgrims had more than an edge of truth to it.
Certainly, the man who had woken Cole looked capable. Short, yes, further withered by age, but built like a compact reactor and with the grip strength of a chain hoist. Cole knew the kind, had sweated side-by-side with them in the deep pits: the run-bosses, the sergeants, the anchors and anchorites on whom every endeavour came to depend.
‘You pilgrims?’ Cole asked. Somewhere towards the ship’s fore, a voice was rising in fervent prayer. ‘You’re not of the Church?’
‘Plenty of secular ships in the trade.’ The rescuer glanced in the same direction as Cole had, and his eyes narrowed. Trouble, perhaps. ‘That surprise you?’
‘Maybe. I don’t know.’ Cole blinked. The voice grew louder, and others were joining the call. ‘I know the Church is widely accepted, but…’ He waved a hand, prevaricating, helpless to explain his meaning without harm. ‘...I’m sorry, but I know nothing of spacers.’
‘Well, we’re still human, with all the wonderful differences of opinion that come with being such.’ Now words were drifting down to them: obscenity, profanity, denunciation of evil technologies and the evocation of hellish fiends. ‘Like yonder. I don’t judge the Church by those who tempt fate by decrying the tech that keeps them from breathing vacuum. Some, like you, have nightmares when they wake. Others, well, they feel like they need to reaffirm their faith. Think if they yell enough, Ludd will hear and forgive them, eh?’ The old eyes narrowed. The smile vanished. ‘You got anything you need to be forgiven for, lad?’
Cole hesitated a moment. He’d seen the glossy matte-black object holstered on the spacer’s hip beneath their loose shipper’s tunic. You didn’t need to read a pamphlet to know what happened to troublesome passengers in hyperspace. Would the galaxy miss one more Asherite?
Again, despite himself, he answered. ‘Yes.’
The old man’s eyes searched him for what seemed an eternity against the background of raised voices, a chorus of sinners denying their weakness. Then he nodded and clapped Cole on the arm. ‘The Knights will like you, lad. You stand up straight like that, they’ll take you, no question.’
Cole started. ‘How did you-’
‘Maybe Ludd told me, eh?’
And the old man was off, smile back, heading towards the gathering commotion. What he whistled sounded almost familiar - a strange kind of music - even as the ship’s bruisers began to restore some kind of peaceable order amongst the rowdier pilgrims. A baptism of clubs to welcome the dirtsiders into this new domain, and remind them whose sufferance they travelled under.
Cole almost felt sorry for them. But they were probably happy, he reflected: sufferers calling down their suffering. Modern-day flagellants. They knew what they were doing. He assumed.
Clear of mind and conscience, he headed towards the aft quarters and the promising smell of tea.
2023.05.29 23:52 Accomplished_Star769 New Conan Server but a lil bit harder than usual
Hello laddies and lassies! I have some news.
I have just started a new PVE-C server, but it is not a usual server, this one is the best I have made so far and I have already paid for a 1-year subscription, and It will be renewed. I am planning to have a no-wipe server for as long as I can keep it alive and if anything happens I have no problems giving the server to someone else.
Server Details:
Server Name: ACC Community Server 25/05/23 - NO WIPE Server IP: 104.234.252.155:7777 Platform: PC
Server Map: Exile Lands > with Siptah Content I have spent ages setting this up so it feels immersive.
Mods: Only 9 mods to set up spawn points and stuff I did not want to overdo it and lose the feel of Conan as I have been there and did not enjoy that tbh.
Player DMG: 1.5 NPC DMG: 3.0 Health Bar: Disabled for Player and NPC Unless you invite someone to a party and then you can see their HP bar. EXP: 0.4 Max Level: 120 with increased required EXP per level.
Bosses: I have set up End game WORLD BOSSES in different Places from Siptah with increased HP which would be very challenging to anyone and would require a team to do.(The Drops are worth it)
Merchants: I have set up Merchants that buy and sell items and I need to tell you that IT WAS HARD and very annoying to set them up and figure out the pricing for everything .. .. ehm I suck at math so yeah .. but hey it's done!
Additional: I have set up 4 Map rooms for players the rest would need to be done by the community.I have set up many secrets .. just rediscover the Exile lands ;)
Activity:
I am very active and if there are any bugs they will be fixed asap. I also stream on Twitch daily and I will be taking good care of the server. I hope to see you around .. and if you join .. good luck, you will need it ;)
submitted by Accomplished_Star769 to ConanExiles [link] [comments]
I have just started a new PVE-C server, but it is not a usual server, this one is the best I have made so far and I have already paid for a 1-year subscription, and It will be renewed. I am planning to have a no-wipe server for as long as I can keep it alive and if anything happens I have no problems giving the server to someone else.
Server Details:
Server Name: ACC Community Server 25/05/23 - NO WIPE Server IP: 104.234.252.155:7777 Platform: PC
Server Map: Exile Lands > with Siptah Content I have spent ages setting this up so it feels immersive.
Mods: Only 9 mods to set up spawn points and stuff I did not want to overdo it and lose the feel of Conan as I have been there and did not enjoy that tbh.
Player DMG: 1.5 NPC DMG: 3.0 Health Bar: Disabled for Player and NPC Unless you invite someone to a party and then you can see their HP bar. EXP: 0.4 Max Level: 120 with increased required EXP per level.
Bosses: I have set up End game WORLD BOSSES in different Places from Siptah with increased HP which would be very challenging to anyone and would require a team to do.(The Drops are worth it)
Merchants: I have set up Merchants that buy and sell items and I need to tell you that IT WAS HARD and very annoying to set them up and figure out the pricing for everything .. .. ehm I suck at math so yeah .. but hey it's done!
Additional: I have set up 4 Map rooms for players the rest would need to be done by the community.I have set up many secrets .. just rediscover the Exile lands ;)
Activity:
I am very active and if there are any bugs they will be fixed asap. I also stream on Twitch daily and I will be taking good care of the server. I hope to see you around .. and if you join .. good luck, you will need it ;)
2023.05.29 22:45 rClipsBot MY MOM IS A MAFIA BOSS AND I HATE MATH COSPLAY STREAM
 | submitted by rClipsBot to clips [link] [comments] |
2023.05.29 20:11 OscarDivine Rogue Permanet Ultimate Uptime Base Build
It's time to get Sweaty! Rogues are going to have an extremely high potential to do insane damage this coming release and although we don't know what we'll get exactly on release and even more importantly during Season 1, I wanted to begin a discussion around the potential for Permanent Resource Spending Ultimate Cooldown with Preparation. Rogue skills and passives are extremely good at returning energy. The Preparation Specialization reduces your Ultimate Skills Cooldown by 4 seconds for every 100 Energy you spend. Because the base of this concept is not immediately dependent on the Skills used, it can be used as a base for Twisting Blades, Barrage, Rapid Fire, or Penetrating Shot builds. The benefits of each will be discussed below and a very obvious conclusion is met. At the end of the day, any of the skills can be used, but bigger gaps in the damage potential will multiply depending on attack speed or the skill chosen. Of course, always choose what you enjoy most, but notice the differences in effectiveness as stated below.
The Scaffold of the build contains the following Skill or Skill Tree elements:
The best choice overall is Shadow Clones, as with maximum uptime of 80% (60+20) Damage Done is a practical no brainer. Rain of Arrows is an extremely strong battlefield control skill though as it knocks down an unlimited number of enemies in a large area. Death Trap... let's not talk about that skill. It's awful. For the purposes of this guide I'll be reviewing Shadow Clones, to simplify the math. The Shadow Clones are active for a total of 15 seconds, so it is difficult (but perhaps not impossible) to burn the required energy needed to cool down through Preparation.
Within 15 seconds, you'd need to burn 15 activations of Preparation (60 seconds / 4 seconds cooled down per 100 energy spent), which at the required 100 Energy spent per activation means you'd need to burn 1500 energy within 15 seconds. This is perhaps possible with enough attack speed allowing you to cast a 30 energy skill (Barrage or Twisting Blades) for a total of 50 ATTACKS assuming perfect energy return with Each Attack. 50 Attacks of Barrage/TB within a 15 second time frame is 3.3333 Attacks Per Second and at least from what we've seen is somewhat unrealistic, but Twisting Blades can help this a lot with it's cooldown ability. Rapid Fire is at 25 Energy per cast, Penetrating Shot, however is at 35 energy per cast. At 35 energy per cast, you only require 43 (42.8) casts to meet the 1500 Energy Requirement, which is only 2.86666 Attacks Per Second by comparison. This is a huge advantage for Penetrating Shot, however, recovering the energy from using Penetrating shot is substantially more difficult than it is through Barrage or Rapid Fire, but 2.86666 Attacks Per Second is still better than 3.3333. The Skills advantages are broken down below:
Barrage - Autotargeting, Hits 5+ times very easily, Makes enemies Vulnerable, Average Cost and therefore Average Casts required 3.33333Rapid Fire - Lower Cost and therefore requires 4.0 Attacks Per Second, Hits 5+ times very easily, Recovers Energy back through Improved Rapid Fire (15 Energy). This alone makes Rapid Fire the likely most easy skill to execute the cooldown reductions with as Resource Spending is a complete non-issue most of the time.Penetrating Shot - Manual Targeting, higher skill required, higher hit numbers are more difficult to achieve to refund energy costs from Mother's Embrace, but the required casts are lower due to higher energy consumption. Though it has the biggest advantage in the total number of required casts, it remains the best choice for Ranged Skills in that regard only, but TB will have it beat.Twisting Blades - Similar to Barrage, but it adds extra Cooldown at 0.25 seconds per enemy hit with the returning blades. Twisting Blades may be the best option as a result. Even against one target, reduces the requirement of attacks by 12.5 within the 15 second time window. NOW you only need 2.5 Attacks Per Second. Hmm. It's starting to look more doable now. With enough Attack Speed buffs and the correct weapon type, this is likely the best choice. Remember:
WITHOUT ADDITIONAL ATTACK SPEED Let's calculate the outcome of using Daggers, Twisting Blades, and presumed perfect energy return and little to no need to even use a generator (spoiler alert: you're gonna have to use it anyway). In this idealized situation, 1.2 attacks per second at a spending of 30 energy per attack yields an average of 36 Energy Spending per second so as the 60 second Cooldown of Shadow Clones ticks down, the Shadow Clones will have disappeared at 15 seconds at which time you'd have spent a total of 540 Energy and "earned" 3.125 seconds cooldown from the Advanced Twisting Blades ability (assuming only one target, multiple targets improve this tremendously). 37.875 seconds of cooldown remain, though only 15 seconds have elapsed and 45 seconds SHOULD remain. To ESTIMATE, means that at Approximately 30 seconds from the cast of the initial Shadow Clone, a new Shadow Clone can be cast for a total DOWNTIME between clones of 15 seconds. This is BANANAS. If you add in ATTACK SPEED, you close this gap EXPONENTIALLY quickly.
TL;DR - Preparation can yield you an 80% damage Boost once every 30 seconds that lasts for 15 seconds. 50% of the time you'll be doing +80% damage. Preparation is INSANE. Use it right by cooling it down properly. Twisting Blades is the best at this, use a dagger for maximum advantage.
EDIT: I forgot to add in Paragon Board advantages - The Legendary Paragon Board node "No Witnesses" cause your Ultimate skills to deal 30% increased damage and grant 10% increased damage for 20 seconds when cast, As this Build is really an Ultimate Spammer, you will also multiplicatively increase your damage with this Legendary Node. The same board also has 2x 5% increased Attack Speed Magic level nodes. These types of nodes will be instrumental in improving uptime. Though Paragon boards and their uses have not been fully realized yet, I fully suspect that using this board FIRST may be the most efficient use of your points to maximize your Attack Speed
Here is an Example full build including Paragon for Twisted Blades Preparation with Shadow Clones:
https://d4builds.gg/builds/d886cc42-d71a-401f-81bb-c63e4dba064b/
Frostburn gloves MAY BE good for this as well, but the current "Lucky Hit restores Primary Resource" is currently unknown but it could potentially be useful. Changes to come on Launch
More Edits! I've been informed that I forgot to include the maximum potential Cooldown Reduction on gear, which is 10% on Amulet and Helmet, for an additional 20% reduction. This means the total cooldown time is reduced to 48 seconds instead of 60. That change a lot and may mean that Barrage/Rapid Fire builds can be viable to keep 100% uptime of Shadow Clones at maximum level assuming maximum rolls. The longer I look at this the more I realize it's a real possibility. Twisting Blades will make it a cakewalk though compared to other classes
I just made a spreadsheet and unless I've done something wrong (a real possibility) using a sckill cost value of 30, a weapon speed of 1.2, attack speed +35% maxed out Paragon boards, and 20% CDR, with a SINGLE TARGET, with Twisting Blades you can achieve full cooldown of Shadow Clones at just after the 15 second mark. With a Bow (1.1 Attacks per second) Barrage will hit it at 18 seconds, Rapid Fire at the 20 second mark, and Penetrating Shot at just before 16 seconds. These are idealized situations assuming perfect recover of all energy and non-stop proc of Preparation. This is just a simulation to determine the potential under potential game circumstances. Even without any additional Attack Speed or Cooldown Reduction, the cooldown happens at around 25 seconds for Twisting Blades. This does advise future builds though.
submitted by OscarDivine to diablo4 [link] [comments]
The Scaffold of the build contains the following Skill or Skill Tree elements:
- Preparation Specialization - Every 100 Energy spent reduces the cooldown of Ultimate Skills by 4 seconds, using an Ultimate Skill resets cooldown of all skills
- Consuming Shadows - Each Time you kill an enemy with Shadow Damage gain 10 Energy - This requires you to use Shadow Imbuement
- Innervation - 10/20/30% chance lucky hit to gain 8 energy
- Adrenaline Rush - While moving, you gain 5/10/15% increased Energy Regenration
- Aftermath - After using an Ultimate Skill, restore 25/50/75 Energy
- Concealment with Enhanced Concealment (you gain 40 energy when you enter Concealment) - This synergizes VERY well with Preparation's Reset all CD's upon use of Ulti.
- Mother's Embrace Ring - If a Core Skill hits 5 or more enemies (20-40%) of the Resource is refunded. An unusual idiosyncracy of this is that core skills such as Barrage, Rapid Fire, and perhaps the orbiting blades of Twisting Blades count as individual hits against a single enemy, so bosses will still return this resource if hit 5 times.
- Harlequin Crest - Gain 10-20% Damage Reduction. In addition, gain +4 Ranks to all Skills. - The obvious implication to this is greater return of energy, higher damage output, and potentially higher proc rates for energy return.
- ASPECT of Branching Volleys (Barrage) / Repeating (Rapid Fire) / Bladedancer (Twisting Blades) / Trickshot (Penetrating Shot) - Depending on your choice of Core Skill used.
The best choice overall is Shadow Clones, as with maximum uptime of 80% (60+20) Damage Done is a practical no brainer. Rain of Arrows is an extremely strong battlefield control skill though as it knocks down an unlimited number of enemies in a large area. Death Trap... let's not talk about that skill. It's awful. For the purposes of this guide I'll be reviewing Shadow Clones, to simplify the math. The Shadow Clones are active for a total of 15 seconds, so it is difficult (but perhaps not impossible) to burn the required energy needed to cool down through Preparation.
Within 15 seconds, you'd need to burn 15 activations of Preparation (60 seconds / 4 seconds cooled down per 100 energy spent), which at the required 100 Energy spent per activation means you'd need to burn 1500 energy within 15 seconds. This is perhaps possible with enough attack speed allowing you to cast a 30 energy skill (Barrage or Twisting Blades) for a total of 50 ATTACKS assuming perfect energy return with Each Attack. 50 Attacks of Barrage/TB within a 15 second time frame is 3.3333 Attacks Per Second and at least from what we've seen is somewhat unrealistic, but Twisting Blades can help this a lot with it's cooldown ability. Rapid Fire is at 25 Energy per cast, Penetrating Shot, however is at 35 energy per cast. At 35 energy per cast, you only require 43 (42.8) casts to meet the 1500 Energy Requirement, which is only 2.86666 Attacks Per Second by comparison. This is a huge advantage for Penetrating Shot, however, recovering the energy from using Penetrating shot is substantially more difficult than it is through Barrage or Rapid Fire, but 2.86666 Attacks Per Second is still better than 3.3333. The Skills advantages are broken down below:
Barrage - Autotargeting, Hits 5+ times very easily, Makes enemies Vulnerable, Average Cost and therefore Average Casts required 3.33333Rapid Fire - Lower Cost and therefore requires 4.0 Attacks Per Second, Hits 5+ times very easily, Recovers Energy back through Improved Rapid Fire (15 Energy). This alone makes Rapid Fire the likely most easy skill to execute the cooldown reductions with as Resource Spending is a complete non-issue most of the time.Penetrating Shot - Manual Targeting, higher skill required, higher hit numbers are more difficult to achieve to refund energy costs from Mother's Embrace, but the required casts are lower due to higher energy consumption. Though it has the biggest advantage in the total number of required casts, it remains the best choice for Ranged Skills in that regard only, but TB will have it beat.Twisting Blades - Similar to Barrage, but it adds extra Cooldown at 0.25 seconds per enemy hit with the returning blades. Twisting Blades may be the best option as a result. Even against one target, reduces the requirement of attacks by 12.5 within the 15 second time window. NOW you only need 2.5 Attacks Per Second. Hmm. It's starting to look more doable now. With enough Attack Speed buffs and the correct weapon type, this is likely the best choice. Remember:
- 1.1 Attacks Per Second Bows and 1H Swords
- 1.2 Attacks Per Second Daggers
WITHOUT ADDITIONAL ATTACK SPEED Let's calculate the outcome of using Daggers, Twisting Blades, and presumed perfect energy return and little to no need to even use a generator (spoiler alert: you're gonna have to use it anyway). In this idealized situation, 1.2 attacks per second at a spending of 30 energy per attack yields an average of 36 Energy Spending per second so as the 60 second Cooldown of Shadow Clones ticks down, the Shadow Clones will have disappeared at 15 seconds at which time you'd have spent a total of 540 Energy and "earned" 3.125 seconds cooldown from the Advanced Twisting Blades ability (assuming only one target, multiple targets improve this tremendously). 37.875 seconds of cooldown remain, though only 15 seconds have elapsed and 45 seconds SHOULD remain. To ESTIMATE, means that at Approximately 30 seconds from the cast of the initial Shadow Clone, a new Shadow Clone can be cast for a total DOWNTIME between clones of 15 seconds. This is BANANAS. If you add in ATTACK SPEED, you close this gap EXPONENTIALLY quickly.
TL;DR - Preparation can yield you an 80% damage Boost once every 30 seconds that lasts for 15 seconds. 50% of the time you'll be doing +80% damage. Preparation is INSANE. Use it right by cooling it down properly. Twisting Blades is the best at this, use a dagger for maximum advantage.
EDIT: I forgot to add in Paragon Board advantages - The Legendary Paragon Board node "No Witnesses" cause your Ultimate skills to deal 30% increased damage and grant 10% increased damage for 20 seconds when cast, As this Build is really an Ultimate Spammer, you will also multiplicatively increase your damage with this Legendary Node. The same board also has 2x 5% increased Attack Speed Magic level nodes. These types of nodes will be instrumental in improving uptime. Though Paragon boards and their uses have not been fully realized yet, I fully suspect that using this board FIRST may be the most efficient use of your points to maximize your Attack Speed
Here is an Example full build including Paragon for Twisted Blades Preparation with Shadow Clones:
https://d4builds.gg/builds/d886cc42-d71a-401f-81bb-c63e4dba064b/
Frostburn gloves MAY BE good for this as well, but the current "Lucky Hit restores Primary Resource" is currently unknown but it could potentially be useful. Changes to come on Launch
More Edits! I've been informed that I forgot to include the maximum potential Cooldown Reduction on gear, which is 10% on Amulet and Helmet, for an additional 20% reduction. This means the total cooldown time is reduced to 48 seconds instead of 60. That change a lot and may mean that Barrage/Rapid Fire builds can be viable to keep 100% uptime of Shadow Clones at maximum level assuming maximum rolls. The longer I look at this the more I realize it's a real possibility. Twisting Blades will make it a cakewalk though compared to other classes
I just made a spreadsheet and unless I've done something wrong (a real possibility) using a sckill cost value of 30, a weapon speed of 1.2, attack speed +35% maxed out Paragon boards, and 20% CDR, with a SINGLE TARGET, with Twisting Blades you can achieve full cooldown of Shadow Clones at just after the 15 second mark. With a Bow (1.1 Attacks per second) Barrage will hit it at 18 seconds, Rapid Fire at the 20 second mark, and Penetrating Shot at just before 16 seconds. These are idealized situations assuming perfect recover of all energy and non-stop proc of Preparation. This is just a simulation to determine the potential under potential game circumstances. Even without any additional Attack Speed or Cooldown Reduction, the cooldown happens at around 25 seconds for Twisting Blades. This does advise future builds though.
2023.05.29 17:50 Ambitious-Rule-8958 My mom's constant abuse and neglect ruined my childhood
Tw for sa, suicide, somewhat graphic descriptions
My (22f) mom (43) has never had an easy life. I know because she made sure she told us growing up. How she always got kicked out, how she was SA'd, abusive relationships, things I should have never known about that young.
Obviously I feel for her, but the way she let it manifest in her parenting wasn't that much better than her own mother. She's kicked me out, but unlike her I couldn't bring myself to go to a friend's house so I always ended up just wandering or finding a playground to hide away in until I was allowed back. Usually in that time though she'd get pissed off at me for being gone and would go through contacting my friends trying to locate me since I was 13/14 and didn't have my own phone yet.
She was an alcoholic. She'd regularly come home in a cab kicking and screaming and come in and immediately take her anger out on me. One time I was 6/7 playing on the computer in our middle room when this happened and she came in and physically threw me into our living room. Her being drunk also meant her throwing my brother and I into her car and speeding to my pap's house and screaming at us to get out. We never went in, just stood in front of his house, always too scared to go in. She would always scream at us to get back in anyway to speed home again. She's left my brother and I home alone once to go to the bar when I was 5/6 and my brother was 2/3 and had accidentally left the door wide open. We sat at our stairs crying and watching the door because we were terrified and didn't know what to do. Thankfully our aunt had just so happened to stopped over and got us. This led to us being removed from the home for a few days. My mom was furious that action was taken, she tried justifying it by saying how other shitty parents that she knew also did it but apparently it's wrong for her to also do it.
I never felt like I could never talk to her about my issues because she always had it worse so I should have no reason to complain. This resulted in me being SA'd and groomed multiple from the ages of 7 to 15 by family friends, a cousin, and people that I thought were supposed to be my friends. I'm so ashamed I let it happen but I was raised to put other people above myself and my light hearted attempts at getting away from it were never enough.
I was beaten and/or screamed at for any perceived slight. Apparently I didn't have the right shoes for my 5th grade band concert so she lifted me off my feet, forced me against the counter and screamed right in my face for who knows how long. She's made so many threats against me. At 15 she had me forced against the mantle screaming horrific things that she was going to do to me. The 2 I remember were how she was going to murder our entire extended family then kill herself so I'd be left with nothing or how she was going to murder me and mutilate my body. I've gone to school on at least 2 occasions, I can't tell you the embarrassment I felt walking into my math class to immediately have it called out by a girl across the room. I briefly spoke to my cousin about it in our reading class, trying to skirt around the fact that my mom did it. I'm pretty sure she told her mom because there was then a CPS visit that I was blamed for, although none of us were removed this time.
Other people were always a priority. I guess she thought she was teaching us how to be "good people". I don't think being 7 and 4 standing in your kitchen for hours desperately trying to block your ears to keep from hearing her friend have some sort of psychological break really taught us anything useful. Or smacking us any time we unknowingly said something insensitive, or when we didn't want to be around people or situations that scared us.
When I was 10 my pap commit suicide. He was the closest thing I had to a father figure and he always tried to stop my mom whenever she started abusing us when he was around. She always told me how I was his favorite and how he though I was special. When I was 11 she started a screaming match with me and said it was my fault for always bickering with my brother that she had to clean her dad's brains off the wall. It's been almost 12 years since he died and I still feel an overwhelming amount of guilt over it despite knowing it wasn't my fault, I was just a kid, I don't know what I could have possibly done to stop it.
I never got to grieve my pap's death. My mom was pregnant and an absolute wreck so it was my responsibility to comfort her whenever she needed and take care of her and my brother by doing the majority of the laundry, dishes, cooking, and grocery shopping. After my little sisters were born it was also my responsibility to help care for them. That I didn't mind nearly as much. They were innocent, they were the sweetest little babies and it's because of them that I desperately want to get myself better to be there for them and to be a good parent when the time is right. I ended up missing out on a lot to take care of them, I was upset about it but never blamed them because they didn't choose to put me in that situation. I love them more than anything. They're currently hanging out with my wife, her little cousin, and her little sister making brunch.
There's so so much more I could say, I wanted to get out as much as I could but I'm getting drained thinking about it for this long, this deeply and I want to rejoin my family to finish cooking. This is probably a jumbled mess but if you made it this far then thank you for taking the time read and I'm sorry if any of it is hard to understand, I'm really bad at putting thoughts into words.
submitted by Ambitious-Rule-8958 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
My (22f) mom (43) has never had an easy life. I know because she made sure she told us growing up. How she always got kicked out, how she was SA'd, abusive relationships, things I should have never known about that young.
Obviously I feel for her, but the way she let it manifest in her parenting wasn't that much better than her own mother. She's kicked me out, but unlike her I couldn't bring myself to go to a friend's house so I always ended up just wandering or finding a playground to hide away in until I was allowed back. Usually in that time though she'd get pissed off at me for being gone and would go through contacting my friends trying to locate me since I was 13/14 and didn't have my own phone yet.
She was an alcoholic. She'd regularly come home in a cab kicking and screaming and come in and immediately take her anger out on me. One time I was 6/7 playing on the computer in our middle room when this happened and she came in and physically threw me into our living room. Her being drunk also meant her throwing my brother and I into her car and speeding to my pap's house and screaming at us to get out. We never went in, just stood in front of his house, always too scared to go in. She would always scream at us to get back in anyway to speed home again. She's left my brother and I home alone once to go to the bar when I was 5/6 and my brother was 2/3 and had accidentally left the door wide open. We sat at our stairs crying and watching the door because we were terrified and didn't know what to do. Thankfully our aunt had just so happened to stopped over and got us. This led to us being removed from the home for a few days. My mom was furious that action was taken, she tried justifying it by saying how other shitty parents that she knew also did it but apparently it's wrong for her to also do it.
I never felt like I could never talk to her about my issues because she always had it worse so I should have no reason to complain. This resulted in me being SA'd and groomed multiple from the ages of 7 to 15 by family friends, a cousin, and people that I thought were supposed to be my friends. I'm so ashamed I let it happen but I was raised to put other people above myself and my light hearted attempts at getting away from it were never enough.
I was beaten and/or screamed at for any perceived slight. Apparently I didn't have the right shoes for my 5th grade band concert so she lifted me off my feet, forced me against the counter and screamed right in my face for who knows how long. She's made so many threats against me. At 15 she had me forced against the mantle screaming horrific things that she was going to do to me. The 2 I remember were how she was going to murder our entire extended family then kill herself so I'd be left with nothing or how she was going to murder me and mutilate my body. I've gone to school on at least 2 occasions, I can't tell you the embarrassment I felt walking into my math class to immediately have it called out by a girl across the room. I briefly spoke to my cousin about it in our reading class, trying to skirt around the fact that my mom did it. I'm pretty sure she told her mom because there was then a CPS visit that I was blamed for, although none of us were removed this time.
Other people were always a priority. I guess she thought she was teaching us how to be "good people". I don't think being 7 and 4 standing in your kitchen for hours desperately trying to block your ears to keep from hearing her friend have some sort of psychological break really taught us anything useful. Or smacking us any time we unknowingly said something insensitive, or when we didn't want to be around people or situations that scared us.
When I was 10 my pap commit suicide. He was the closest thing I had to a father figure and he always tried to stop my mom whenever she started abusing us when he was around. She always told me how I was his favorite and how he though I was special. When I was 11 she started a screaming match with me and said it was my fault for always bickering with my brother that she had to clean her dad's brains off the wall. It's been almost 12 years since he died and I still feel an overwhelming amount of guilt over it despite knowing it wasn't my fault, I was just a kid, I don't know what I could have possibly done to stop it.
I never got to grieve my pap's death. My mom was pregnant and an absolute wreck so it was my responsibility to comfort her whenever she needed and take care of her and my brother by doing the majority of the laundry, dishes, cooking, and grocery shopping. After my little sisters were born it was also my responsibility to help care for them. That I didn't mind nearly as much. They were innocent, they were the sweetest little babies and it's because of them that I desperately want to get myself better to be there for them and to be a good parent when the time is right. I ended up missing out on a lot to take care of them, I was upset about it but never blamed them because they didn't choose to put me in that situation. I love them more than anything. They're currently hanging out with my wife, her little cousin, and her little sister making brunch.
There's so so much more I could say, I wanted to get out as much as I could but I'm getting drained thinking about it for this long, this deeply and I want to rejoin my family to finish cooking. This is probably a jumbled mess but if you made it this far then thank you for taking the time read and I'm sorry if any of it is hard to understand, I'm really bad at putting thoughts into words.
2023.05.29 17:00 _call-me-al_ [Mon, May 29 2023] TL;DR — This is what you missed in the last 24 hours on Reddit
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worldnews
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The brain’s protein-destruction machine learns new tricks at synapses, revealing a potential target for treating neurological disorders
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I discovered this planetary nebula using a $500 camera lens, now it carries my nameComments Link
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Almost 11 years ago precisely, my crewmates and I captured and docked the very first SpaceX Dragon capsule. Here are some photos I took during the approach. More details in comments.
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Futurology
Nvidia CEO Says Those Without AI Expertise Will Be Left BehindComments Link
Study: GPT-4 didn't really score 90th percentile on the bar exam. Implications for the future of the legal profession and AI are discussed.
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NVIDIA creates a Minecraft AI that codes and self-improves (using ChatGPT)
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[OC] Some of the top revenue sources for big tech firms
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Rant: I always mess up the food when I’m cooking for larger groups.
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What accidental purchase have you made that in now a regular purchase?
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[homemade] Esquites sweet corn salad (Elote derivative)Comments Link
[homemade] Lasagna
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[I ate] Canadian Poutine
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movies
A rare 1914 silent film called "The Oath of the Sword" was considered lost forever. A professor rescued it from a vault.Comments Link
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Eat your water, Alai Ganuza, oil painting, 2023
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Just some finishing touches before we close in the void
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2023.05.29 14:34 AlyStar123 I hate my job soo much but I work for myself - am I just being entitled?
I started a math coaching/tutoring side hustle 10 years ago. I was so passionate about it then and hustled so hard to build it up and I use to love what I did - it initially didn’t even feel like work. I had just been made redundant and it was the perfect opportunity for me to try something different.
It was the best job ever as I was my own boss (well not really, my clients are my boss) but you get what I mean. It was soo much better then my previous job. Also once you start working for yourself, I knew it would be super hard to go back to being an employee so I guess I kind of felt like this option was the better compared to the alternative.
I managed to sustain the passion an drive for a while but eventually it started to feel like work an I started dreading it. I still tried to persevere an put in long hours and days as like I mentioned the alternative seemed crap and I wanted to save as much as possible so to never have to put up with a crap job ever again.
But I eventually got burnt in the process- working 6 to 7 days a week for several years. I also explored the idea of hiring people to try deliverer the “product” but found I hated managing people, running a business an the admin and skills needed for that and much preferred it just being my little side hustle.
Anyway fast forward 10 years and I’m ready to consider giving it completely and then the pandemic hit. I managed to transitional all my clients to online and still charge the same rate.
I lost some clients and got new ones and now run my whole business online but I still hate it!
I’m now just working from home and meeting clients on zoom and as shameful as this sounds but I started to have a discrete glass of wine/beer if it’s an evening session just to try get through it. I also try to multi task whilst coaching my clients like watch YouTube whilst I give my client a task to do rather then being fully present - how bad is that? I guess it a reflection of how much I hate the job now and how little passion I feel currently unfortunately.
I kind of feel like it’s a form of golden handcuffs. I get to work from home, watch YouTube or have a drink, not have a boss, but I’m soo drained. It is soo exhausting coaching clients and I get super anxiety looking at my schedule, thinking about my appointments, clients..etc
All I want to do is go on my bike, go to the gym or literally do anything that will get me off a computer screen and not on zooms or teams.
I don’t t think I can really raise my prices any further as I’m already on the upper range. I guess if I contine at this pace, I can probably quit work all together in 5-6 years and then just chill for the rest of my life. I’m currently 37 years old so should definitely have the stamina and time I guess.
Alternatively , I can get start closing down my side hustle and look for a job which would not pay nearly as much and it would mean I would have to work for much longer but hopefully it may be a lot more enjoyable?
submitted by AlyStar123 to antiwork [link] [comments]
It was the best job ever as I was my own boss (well not really, my clients are my boss) but you get what I mean. It was soo much better then my previous job. Also once you start working for yourself, I knew it would be super hard to go back to being an employee so I guess I kind of felt like this option was the better compared to the alternative.
I managed to sustain the passion an drive for a while but eventually it started to feel like work an I started dreading it. I still tried to persevere an put in long hours and days as like I mentioned the alternative seemed crap and I wanted to save as much as possible so to never have to put up with a crap job ever again.
But I eventually got burnt in the process- working 6 to 7 days a week for several years. I also explored the idea of hiring people to try deliverer the “product” but found I hated managing people, running a business an the admin and skills needed for that and much preferred it just being my little side hustle.
Anyway fast forward 10 years and I’m ready to consider giving it completely and then the pandemic hit. I managed to transitional all my clients to online and still charge the same rate.
I lost some clients and got new ones and now run my whole business online but I still hate it!
I’m now just working from home and meeting clients on zoom and as shameful as this sounds but I started to have a discrete glass of wine/beer if it’s an evening session just to try get through it. I also try to multi task whilst coaching my clients like watch YouTube whilst I give my client a task to do rather then being fully present - how bad is that? I guess it a reflection of how much I hate the job now and how little passion I feel currently unfortunately.
I kind of feel like it’s a form of golden handcuffs. I get to work from home, watch YouTube or have a drink, not have a boss, but I’m soo drained. It is soo exhausting coaching clients and I get super anxiety looking at my schedule, thinking about my appointments, clients..etc
All I want to do is go on my bike, go to the gym or literally do anything that will get me off a computer screen and not on zooms or teams.
I don’t t think I can really raise my prices any further as I’m already on the upper range. I guess if I contine at this pace, I can probably quit work all together in 5-6 years and then just chill for the rest of my life. I’m currently 37 years old so should definitely have the stamina and time I guess.
Alternatively , I can get start closing down my side hustle and look for a job which would not pay nearly as much and it would mean I would have to work for much longer but hopefully it may be a lot more enjoyable?
2023.05.29 12:21 M4err0w i hate the dragons in this game so much
and no, i don't mean the bosses, who are more or less easy as long as you have a lynel bow.
i've been trying to collect these damn drops for the FD set all weekend and I'm getting so frustrated by their bs.
half the time they're underground and harder to access unless you finished a huge part of the game and drown in ore to build flying machines. above ground, even when you know their routes, they're surprisingly hard to spot unlike the glyphs which i still keep mistaking for a dragons shine.
they have their own internal clock so you cant spawn them which fine, i get too much farming is op but christ, i've lost at least 10 claws or teeth or scales because they just despawn randomly as they fall, or hit the slightest angle on the ground and catapult to the end of the world ( cant honestly say what the issue is here, they're just gone and i cant explain it) or possibly because tulin sent them flying or apparently because you shouldn't attack them while they fly up a chasm god damnit. you cant even save on them to try and catch them in the air.
and when you see one after waiting forever, half the time it's the fourth one i dont need right now.
and you need to do it so many times and I'm probably just scratching the surface, its such an insane waste of time. in addition to that, the game keeps throwing star pieces your way when you're riding one and their reload time takes forever. i know its only like 10 or 15 minutes but it might as well be forever when i could finish like 3 shrines in the meantime.
and dont get me started on those shards on their back, of which i missed dozens because i didn't know they existed.
despite still throwing their attacks, you never even see them attacking any monster, on sky or otherwise. they just uselessly drift through the area and i already wish i could knock them down with a giant missle and salvage all i need in one go...
submitted by M4err0w to tearsofthekingdom [link] [comments]
i've been trying to collect these damn drops for the FD set all weekend and I'm getting so frustrated by their bs.
half the time they're underground and harder to access unless you finished a huge part of the game and drown in ore to build flying machines. above ground, even when you know their routes, they're surprisingly hard to spot unlike the glyphs which i still keep mistaking for a dragons shine.
they have their own internal clock so you cant spawn them which fine, i get too much farming is op but christ, i've lost at least 10 claws or teeth or scales because they just despawn randomly as they fall, or hit the slightest angle on the ground and catapult to the end of the world ( cant honestly say what the issue is here, they're just gone and i cant explain it) or possibly because tulin sent them flying or apparently because you shouldn't attack them while they fly up a chasm god damnit. you cant even save on them to try and catch them in the air.
and when you see one after waiting forever, half the time it's the fourth one i dont need right now.
and you need to do it so many times and I'm probably just scratching the surface, its such an insane waste of time. in addition to that, the game keeps throwing star pieces your way when you're riding one and their reload time takes forever. i know its only like 10 or 15 minutes but it might as well be forever when i could finish like 3 shrines in the meantime.
and dont get me started on those shards on their back, of which i missed dozens because i didn't know they existed.
despite still throwing their attacks, you never even see them attacking any monster, on sky or otherwise. they just uselessly drift through the area and i already wish i could knock them down with a giant missle and salvage all i need in one go...
2023.05.29 11:13 SaltyConnection Ok so i'm a little bad at maths and those online calculators are really confusing atm. Or is it dodgey boss?
I've had a word with the boss lately. I said i wanted to take home $1000 a week after tax. I work for $25 an hour. And at first he said 'ok i can work with that.'
Then we sit down in the office have a chat and says to me $33 an hour flat rate.
Then i get a letter today. Pay will be $29 per hour. Ordinary hours of work will be 800am-336pm. All work done outside of normal hours time and half for first 2 then double after that. Super at 10.5% for ordinary hours.
Based on your current hours it is expected that your salary should be between $75,000 and $80,000.
Now i've been trying for about 2 hours now trying to figure this out on online calculators, then getting chatgpt/bing to try to help me and no luck.
To take home $1000 a week how much overtime would i need to work? The best number i have come up with is about 6.89 hours of overtime per week.
Could someone give me advice, I'm so lost here.
submitted by SaltyConnection to AusFinance [link] [comments]
Then we sit down in the office have a chat and says to me $33 an hour flat rate.
Then i get a letter today. Pay will be $29 per hour. Ordinary hours of work will be 800am-336pm. All work done outside of normal hours time and half for first 2 then double after that. Super at 10.5% for ordinary hours.
Based on your current hours it is expected that your salary should be between $75,000 and $80,000.
Now i've been trying for about 2 hours now trying to figure this out on online calculators, then getting chatgpt/bing to try to help me and no luck.
To take home $1000 a week how much overtime would i need to work? The best number i have come up with is about 6.89 hours of overtime per week.
Could someone give me advice, I'm so lost here.
2023.05.29 10:36 No_Drummer7685 SAP Developer Intern with a LOT of questions.
I'm here to ask a lot of questions since I'm getting different answers from different people for the company I work for. I'm using a throwaway for how stupid my questions might be and I'm scared to be exposed since my social footprint is quite big.
I'm a college dropout. I studied Actuarial Science and in 2nd year after my 4th Actuarial exam I just couldn't. I was suicidal and depressed.
Somehow by the modules I passed in the degree a company saw me and decided to offer me a paid internship as a ABAP/FIORI UI5 intern. The modules I passed was in depth understanding of networking and C/C++. And since I studied statistics it was Python and some statistical inferential stuff like R. I also built regression models in Python. The modules I got distinctions for were the coding modules and the Management Accounting/Financial Accouting modules. So I know somewhat how business structures work.
My job has been performance testing and creating basically basic apps such as notification reports etc. But mostly it's been learning and studying. I'm 6 months in almost and I really love SAP with all the old school tech. (I'm 21 fyi) I would also like to note I have a family member working for the company that suggested me for the internship. However it is a consultant company so it makes it more easily a "family business" and they like to label themselves as "family oriented" even the CEO has his children working for the company.
However I'm really scared that me dropping out is hindering my progress in my career or future employability. I don't have a degree. If you leave a degree you don't get the exam certifications in Actuarial which is what I did. All I have is side projects and capabilities in Python and C which might be amazing to some. But for me it's a mega insecurity as I was thought how to create analytical pattern recognition scripts(its more like a bloody app). I feel like a script kiddie when I'm actually quite a good coder.
My boss and employers are quite willing to pay for certifications. The family member that works way above me says it's quite unnecessary in modern day to have a degree when u have the skills already. And I should focus on bringing something new to the "team". Co workers that I've been working with say a SAP certification is more than enough and thats gonna be my ticket in life to further my career.
The broad variety of answers is killing my head. Imagine trying to cram in SD,PM and SCM in a month with SAP then being thrown in the deep end with ABAP and then eventually the last 3 months have been mostly UI5.
I know I know nothing and I know I'm most probably somewhat useless for the company. I just don't see the steps to take to help my co workers more.
I've been thinking about doing an OSCP or a CEH certification in Ethical Hacking since we don't have a pen tester. And it's something I've been fond off ever since hackthebox came out.
It feels like I have imposter syndrome. Next month there is gonna be a new intern that I'll have to "train" as well. But he doesn't have the same background as me with coding. He has 0 experience. I don't really think I can do this. Since beginning with ABAP as your first language is like driving a Ferrari at 16.
Any suggestions as to what I should do ? I've been considering doing a full time degree in Computer Science since it doesn't have as much math as Actuarial Science did and that is what bothered me of Act Sci. All this whilst working mind you. Which will most probably be semi impossible.
Or should I go the certification route and just put my head down and trust the process that I've started in a somewhat "niche" environment.
Is it normal to feel like I know nothing ? I can trigger reorder points and I know the difference between a purchase req and a purchase order etc. But it feels like I'm just too stupid at the moment to make a difference.
Any help as to regards with what I should study and what I should do with regarding the imposter syndrome will be greatly appreciated.
The company hinted on a salary increase and a new position but I feel undeserving of this. I'm just itching to build my own app at the moment that companies can actually USE but I feel my knowledge is limited for that.
Sorry for the long post. I just really need some clarity as to my sanity. Cause all I hear everyday is "you're doing well keep on doing what you're doing" but all I do is study and learn and help now and then. Next month they are also going to throw a scheduling app towards me to release a new major version in UI5. Like am I even ready? I have a great mentor that I bother 24/7 but is this really it? Just asking questions and making small assumptions as to how it fits into a business structure.
Any experts out there that have been in SAP since the start that they don't fully get it? Cause I hear it at work a lot. That SAP is a confusing GIANT of information.
submitted by No_Drummer7685 to SAP [link] [comments]
I'm a college dropout. I studied Actuarial Science and in 2nd year after my 4th Actuarial exam I just couldn't. I was suicidal and depressed.
Somehow by the modules I passed in the degree a company saw me and decided to offer me a paid internship as a ABAP/FIORI UI5 intern. The modules I passed was in depth understanding of networking and C/C++. And since I studied statistics it was Python and some statistical inferential stuff like R. I also built regression models in Python. The modules I got distinctions for were the coding modules and the Management Accounting/Financial Accouting modules. So I know somewhat how business structures work.
My job has been performance testing and creating basically basic apps such as notification reports etc. But mostly it's been learning and studying. I'm 6 months in almost and I really love SAP with all the old school tech. (I'm 21 fyi) I would also like to note I have a family member working for the company that suggested me for the internship. However it is a consultant company so it makes it more easily a "family business" and they like to label themselves as "family oriented" even the CEO has his children working for the company.
However I'm really scared that me dropping out is hindering my progress in my career or future employability. I don't have a degree. If you leave a degree you don't get the exam certifications in Actuarial which is what I did. All I have is side projects and capabilities in Python and C which might be amazing to some. But for me it's a mega insecurity as I was thought how to create analytical pattern recognition scripts(its more like a bloody app). I feel like a script kiddie when I'm actually quite a good coder.
My boss and employers are quite willing to pay for certifications. The family member that works way above me says it's quite unnecessary in modern day to have a degree when u have the skills already. And I should focus on bringing something new to the "team". Co workers that I've been working with say a SAP certification is more than enough and thats gonna be my ticket in life to further my career.
The broad variety of answers is killing my head. Imagine trying to cram in SD,PM and SCM in a month with SAP then being thrown in the deep end with ABAP and then eventually the last 3 months have been mostly UI5.
I know I know nothing and I know I'm most probably somewhat useless for the company. I just don't see the steps to take to help my co workers more.
I've been thinking about doing an OSCP or a CEH certification in Ethical Hacking since we don't have a pen tester. And it's something I've been fond off ever since hackthebox came out.
It feels like I have imposter syndrome. Next month there is gonna be a new intern that I'll have to "train" as well. But he doesn't have the same background as me with coding. He has 0 experience. I don't really think I can do this. Since beginning with ABAP as your first language is like driving a Ferrari at 16.
Any suggestions as to what I should do ? I've been considering doing a full time degree in Computer Science since it doesn't have as much math as Actuarial Science did and that is what bothered me of Act Sci. All this whilst working mind you. Which will most probably be semi impossible.
Or should I go the certification route and just put my head down and trust the process that I've started in a somewhat "niche" environment.
Is it normal to feel like I know nothing ? I can trigger reorder points and I know the difference between a purchase req and a purchase order etc. But it feels like I'm just too stupid at the moment to make a difference.
Any help as to regards with what I should study and what I should do with regarding the imposter syndrome will be greatly appreciated.
The company hinted on a salary increase and a new position but I feel undeserving of this. I'm just itching to build my own app at the moment that companies can actually USE but I feel my knowledge is limited for that.
Sorry for the long post. I just really need some clarity as to my sanity. Cause all I hear everyday is "you're doing well keep on doing what you're doing" but all I do is study and learn and help now and then. Next month they are also going to throw a scheduling app towards me to release a new major version in UI5. Like am I even ready? I have a great mentor that I bother 24/7 but is this really it? Just asking questions and making small assumptions as to how it fits into a business structure.
Any experts out there that have been in SAP since the start that they don't fully get it? Cause I hear it at work a lot. That SAP is a confusing GIANT of information.
2023.05.29 09:31 ImaginationSea3679 My Predator Friend Chapter 3: The Mother’s Work
We get a dive into the mother of the precious baba.
This one is going to be really short. It’s a special flavor due to the POV being sleep deprived.
I hope you enjoy!
————————————
Memory Transcription subject: Liya, Struggling Office Worker
Date[standardized human time]: December 1, 2136
I really need some spehking sleep.
I had enough energy to muster all of my focus towards completing the work before me, but this was most definitely my biggest work load yet. I have gone a full day without sleep just to get this far. Thankfully, I only had one stack of paper left, so this will be easy.
Of course, that means that it would still be difficult, and not by a slim margin.
I remembered when my husband died in that crash. He worked at the Fertilizing Station, and helped get the planet situated for growing plants. Due to how valuable fertilizer was, he received a considerable amount of pay.
We actually used to have an actual home, rather than this four room excuse that I was currently in. We used to have a guest bedroom, two bathrooms, a full set of kitchen appliances, a television, some video games, and even a pool! Everything was comfortable for everyone.
Then the crash happened.
Somehow a part of me always knew he was going to die before I did. He was always so meager in comparison to me. That was why I married him. I was positive that our children would be absolutely adorable.
I never thought he’d die so early.
I didn’t have any special education or training, so the only kind of job I could apply for was a menial one. The one that paid the most was a job as a paper filler at the Vesin Dealership, and that pay wasn’t enough to support both me and my daughter. The boss offered me a deal: work twice as hard and earn twice as much.
I eagerly accepted.
At least I was able to provide for the family and receive some facsimile of luxury with double pay.
I heard Billa open the door to the backyard.
“Hello there.”
I immediately froze in place.
I leaned back to see my little girl with tears going down her face. She must’ve hurt herself while playing.
Being her mother, she was my top priority. I promptly walked away from my work and up to my little girl. “Tell me where it hurts, sweetie.”
“In here.” She said, pointing at her chest.
Oh. This was a different kind of hurt.
“I don’t have any fwiends. I can’t do maths like you. I don’t have any way to help people. I’m better off as pwedator food.”
Oh sweet baby…
I knelt down and pulled her into a loving embrace. I decided to hum a lullaby to comfort her and get her to sleep, hoping for good dreams to sooth her spirits.
By the time I realized that I was the one falling asleep, it was too late.
<<>>
[8 hours later]
I curled into further into my little pile of blankets as I rested myself quite nicely. I was glad that I got so much work done-
Wait.
I still have one stack left.
I turned to the clock.
I only have one hour to get it done.
I immediately jumped out of the bed and ran to my desk as fast as I could. I wasn’t about to see myself be fired because of some sleep.
I rounded the corner to find the final stack not in the same place or position I remembered it being, and none of the papers were aligned. I let out a frustrated sigh. Billa must’ve wanted to help me. I’m going to need to heave a serious discussion with her-
Wait.
…
The equations are…
Correct?
I looked through the stack. The entire stack had been filled out. The writing was sloppy, uneven, and sometimes barely legible, but it was properly filling out the whole stack.
…
…
How?! How is my daughter capable of this?! Did I raise a gifted child?! Was my daughter worthy of high society?! What has happened here?!
I…
This was amazing! I needed to show this to someone! I needed to…
I need to sit down.
I need to process this.
First
Previous
submitted by ImaginationSea3679 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
This one is going to be really short. It’s a special flavor due to the POV being sleep deprived.
I hope you enjoy!
————————————
Memory Transcription subject: Liya, Struggling Office Worker
Date[standardized human time]: December 1, 2136
I really need some spehking sleep.
I had enough energy to muster all of my focus towards completing the work before me, but this was most definitely my biggest work load yet. I have gone a full day without sleep just to get this far. Thankfully, I only had one stack of paper left, so this will be easy.
Of course, that means that it would still be difficult, and not by a slim margin.
I remembered when my husband died in that crash. He worked at the Fertilizing Station, and helped get the planet situated for growing plants. Due to how valuable fertilizer was, he received a considerable amount of pay.
We actually used to have an actual home, rather than this four room excuse that I was currently in. We used to have a guest bedroom, two bathrooms, a full set of kitchen appliances, a television, some video games, and even a pool! Everything was comfortable for everyone.
Then the crash happened.
Somehow a part of me always knew he was going to die before I did. He was always so meager in comparison to me. That was why I married him. I was positive that our children would be absolutely adorable.
I never thought he’d die so early.
I didn’t have any special education or training, so the only kind of job I could apply for was a menial one. The one that paid the most was a job as a paper filler at the Vesin Dealership, and that pay wasn’t enough to support both me and my daughter. The boss offered me a deal: work twice as hard and earn twice as much.
I eagerly accepted.
At least I was able to provide for the family and receive some facsimile of luxury with double pay.
I heard Billa open the door to the backyard.
“Hello there.”
I immediately froze in place.
I leaned back to see my little girl with tears going down her face. She must’ve hurt herself while playing.
Being her mother, she was my top priority. I promptly walked away from my work and up to my little girl. “Tell me where it hurts, sweetie.”
“In here.” She said, pointing at her chest.
Oh. This was a different kind of hurt.
“I don’t have any fwiends. I can’t do maths like you. I don’t have any way to help people. I’m better off as pwedator food.”
Oh sweet baby…
I knelt down and pulled her into a loving embrace. I decided to hum a lullaby to comfort her and get her to sleep, hoping for good dreams to sooth her spirits.
By the time I realized that I was the one falling asleep, it was too late.
<<>>
[8 hours later]
I curled into further into my little pile of blankets as I rested myself quite nicely. I was glad that I got so much work done-
Wait.
I still have one stack left.
I turned to the clock.
I only have one hour to get it done.
I immediately jumped out of the bed and ran to my desk as fast as I could. I wasn’t about to see myself be fired because of some sleep.
I rounded the corner to find the final stack not in the same place or position I remembered it being, and none of the papers were aligned. I let out a frustrated sigh. Billa must’ve wanted to help me. I’m going to need to heave a serious discussion with her-
Wait.
…
The equations are…
Correct?
I looked through the stack. The entire stack had been filled out. The writing was sloppy, uneven, and sometimes barely legible, but it was properly filling out the whole stack.
…
…
How?! How is my daughter capable of this?! Did I raise a gifted child?! Was my daughter worthy of high society?! What has happened here?!
I…
This was amazing! I needed to show this to someone! I needed to…
I need to sit down.
I need to process this.
First
Previous
2023.05.29 09:08 RazitaCasita How possible do you think this is?
 | Certus its the only character that i have that has Heavy Round Damage and killing one necron on the first 10 lvl gives 30 - 45 on damage for fight, the cost of energy on that lvl's its 3 boss necron cost 5 so i can do 10 lvl's on 3 energy cost and farm 30 times 45, the boss lvl can be done 10 times for 5 of energy so the total energy cost its 80 for a total of 1800 dmg a day, using this unit in other modes can increse the dmg a day but the questions is; is it worth it? Also its 2 am and i suck at math be kind submitted by RazitaCasita to WH40KTacticus [link] [comments] |
2023.05.29 07:20 Sacred_F0x [LFP][5e][Paid][Weekly][FoundryVTT] Curse of Strahd REIMAGINED - Mondays 7:15pm or Thursdays 6:00pm CST
Unlike any Curse of Strahd campaign out there. This version is a total and complete rewrite. Even veteran players who once conquered Barovia are welcomed back for this exhilarating and new experience. But be warned - this curse isn't like any you have seen before..
In this campaign all the following changes are by a paid service/subscription or completely original. This will exponentially highlight your experience into a brand new taste of Curse of Strahd.
-Heavy (I MEANY HEAVY) rewrite of the lore and background of Curse of Strahd.
-Creatures reimagined: beyond the homebrew, traditional creatures such as ghosts have all been reflavored. This doesn't just include their stat blocks but also their behavior, characteristics, and lore. Use the handy dandy "Codex" to record your encounters against the supernatural or learn from experienced hunters. This new system encourages strategic gameplay and synergy with your party.
-More than 20 boss fights, all completely original or reimagined.
-Animated battlemaps
-Animated Tokens
-10 new classes + 150 subclasses
-100+ new magic items
-Brand New Alchemy System for crafting elixirs-on-the-go!
-Additional systems for added variety of play
-Soundboard
-Cutscenes!
-Custom artwork
-Interactive Maps
-Forge Support for offline hosting
-Dozens of amazing modules and scripts to enhance your gameplay such as animated effects, auto-math, interacting with shopkeepers, and plenty more!
-Original and innovative puzzles
-Guest Stars
-On call technician for backend support
-And of course you already know - More To Come!
I have worked hard and diligently and poured quite a bit of resources into developing this campaign into what it is today. With all that said, I feel confident that it will be an amazing experience and I am so excited to hear you (hopefully!) validate that for me.
That being said, I find that even with all this work - the most important factor when it comes to a successful campaign... is the players. It is my duty to screen through all the applicants and put together a party that I feel like will be most compatible with each other and respectful to the expectations and responsibility of this campaign.
-
This is what you can expect when applying. All applicants will be directed to the discord server and mark the applicant role. From there you are free to chat with other applicants as I organize a preplanned one-shot that will include you plus two other applicants (groups of three). The one-shot will be free, last up to 2.5 hours, and showcase your personality and style as a player. It is possible that you might have to do another one-shot with two other players to bestow me with further data.
Once a one-shot is completed, you will be given a private questionnaire which will help me determine two things; did you feel comfortable with my style as a DM? And how did you enjoy the other players?
I will then select the four or five applicants I believe will be best for the campaign (keep in mind there are two campaign openings!).
-
Once this is done, you will be given full access to the discord server which includes character creation. We will then plan our session zero which will be a meet and greet, rules discussion, content warnings (again), and finalizing the creation of your character. All characters will require a background with a minimum of 1 page and privately shared with me.
-
Some concluding notes:
>This is a horror campaign. While I can't necessarily dial down the narrative, I can restrict the jump scares or effects if they are too much for you.
>I have an open door policy. You may privately message me over anything with the campaign, players, or myself.
>I expect a high attendance rate. Life happens, I understand that. But you should not commit to this campaign if you cannot uphold at least a 80% attendance rate.
>This is a paid per session campaign and this campaign may very well last over a year. While this is not my full time job, I do rely on this income to pay for much of what I put into it and to continue to pay for all the amazing features it holds.
>Please notify me if you have a specific phobia of some kind.
>I tend to integrate character backstories as much as I possibly can. A backstory is REQUIRED.
>Be respectful to the players and myself (and yourself!). I do not know the rules front to back and you will soon see I changed a lot of the rules/systems a bit. If you feel as if something is unfair or wrong, speak freely about it and I will consider any changes. If the entire party agrees on and matter, I will alter 99% change said matter. After all, this campaign should be for your enjoyment!
submitted by Sacred_F0x to FoundryLFG [link] [comments]
In this campaign all the following changes are by a paid service/subscription or completely original. This will exponentially highlight your experience into a brand new taste of Curse of Strahd.
-Heavy (I MEANY HEAVY) rewrite of the lore and background of Curse of Strahd.
-Creatures reimagined: beyond the homebrew, traditional creatures such as ghosts have all been reflavored. This doesn't just include their stat blocks but also their behavior, characteristics, and lore. Use the handy dandy "Codex" to record your encounters against the supernatural or learn from experienced hunters. This new system encourages strategic gameplay and synergy with your party.
-More than 20 boss fights, all completely original or reimagined.
-Animated battlemaps
-Animated Tokens
-10 new classes + 150 subclasses
-100+ new magic items
-Brand New Alchemy System for crafting elixirs-on-the-go!
-Additional systems for added variety of play
-Soundboard
-Cutscenes!
-Custom artwork
-Interactive Maps
-Forge Support for offline hosting
-Dozens of amazing modules and scripts to enhance your gameplay such as animated effects, auto-math, interacting with shopkeepers, and plenty more!
-Original and innovative puzzles
-Guest Stars
-On call technician for backend support
-And of course you already know - More To Come!
I have worked hard and diligently and poured quite a bit of resources into developing this campaign into what it is today. With all that said, I feel confident that it will be an amazing experience and I am so excited to hear you (hopefully!) validate that for me.
That being said, I find that even with all this work - the most important factor when it comes to a successful campaign... is the players. It is my duty to screen through all the applicants and put together a party that I feel like will be most compatible with each other and respectful to the expectations and responsibility of this campaign.
-
This is what you can expect when applying. All applicants will be directed to the discord server and mark the applicant role. From there you are free to chat with other applicants as I organize a preplanned one-shot that will include you plus two other applicants (groups of three). The one-shot will be free, last up to 2.5 hours, and showcase your personality and style as a player. It is possible that you might have to do another one-shot with two other players to bestow me with further data.
Once a one-shot is completed, you will be given a private questionnaire which will help me determine two things; did you feel comfortable with my style as a DM? And how did you enjoy the other players?
I will then select the four or five applicants I believe will be best for the campaign (keep in mind there are two campaign openings!).
-
Once this is done, you will be given full access to the discord server which includes character creation. We will then plan our session zero which will be a meet and greet, rules discussion, content warnings (again), and finalizing the creation of your character. All characters will require a background with a minimum of 1 page and privately shared with me.
-
Some concluding notes:
>This is a horror campaign. While I can't necessarily dial down the narrative, I can restrict the jump scares or effects if they are too much for you.
>I have an open door policy. You may privately message me over anything with the campaign, players, or myself.
>I expect a high attendance rate. Life happens, I understand that. But you should not commit to this campaign if you cannot uphold at least a 80% attendance rate.
>This is a paid per session campaign and this campaign may very well last over a year. While this is not my full time job, I do rely on this income to pay for much of what I put into it and to continue to pay for all the amazing features it holds.
>Please notify me if you have a specific phobia of some kind.
>I tend to integrate character backstories as much as I possibly can. A backstory is REQUIRED.
>Be respectful to the players and myself (and yourself!). I do not know the rules front to back and you will soon see I changed a lot of the rules/systems a bit. If you feel as if something is unfair or wrong, speak freely about it and I will consider any changes. If the entire party agrees on and matter, I will alter 99% change said matter. After all, this campaign should be for your enjoyment!
2023.05.29 06:52 Sacred_F0x [LFP][5e][Paid][Weekly] Curse of Strahd REIMAGINED - Mondays 7:15pm or Thursdays 6:00pm CST
Unlike any Curse of Strahd campaign out there. This version is a total and complete rewrite. Even veteran players who once conquered Barovia are welcomed back for this exhilarating and new experience. But be warned - this curse isn't like any you have seen before..
In this campaign all the following changes are by a paid service/subscription or completely original. This will exponentially highlight your experience into a brand new taste of Curse of Strahd.
-Heavy (I MEANY HEAVY) rewrite of the lore and background of Curse of Strahd.
-Creatures reimagined: beyond the homebrew, traditional creatures such as ghosts have all been reflavored. This doesn't just include their stat blocks but also their behavior, characteristics, and lore. Use the handy dandy "Codex" to record your encounters against the supernatural or learn from experienced hunters. This new system encourages strategic gameplay and synergy with your party.
-More than 20 boss fights, all completely original or reimagined.
-Animated battlemaps
-Animated Tokens
-10 new classes + 150 subclasses
-100+ new magic items
-Brand New Alchemy System for crafting elixirs-on-the-go!
-Additional systems for added variety of play
-Soundboard
-Cutscenes!
-Custom artwork
-Interactive Maps
-Dozens of amazing modules and scripts to enhance your gameplay such as animated effects, auto-math, interacting with shopkeepers, and plenty more!
-Original and innovative puzzles
-Guest Stars
-On call technician for backend support
-And of course you already know - More To Come!
I have worked hard and diligently and poured quite a bit of resources into developing this campaign into what it is today. With all that said, I feel confident that it will be an amazing experience and I am so excited to hear you (hopefully!) validate that for me.
That being said, I find that even with all this work - the most important factor when it comes to a successful campaign... is the players. It is my duty to screen through all the applicants and put together a party that I feel like will be most compatible with each other and respectful to the expectations and responsibility of this campaign.
-
This is what you can expect when applying. All applicants will be directed to the discord server and mark the applicant role. From there you are free to chat with other applicants as I organize a preplanned one-shot that will include you plus two other applicants (groups of three). The one-shot will be free, last up to 2.5 hours, and showcase your personality and style as a player. It is possible that you might have to do another one-shot with two other players to bestow me with further data.
Once a one-shot is completed, you will be given a private questionnaire which will help me determine two things; did you feel comfortable with my style as a DM? And how did you enjoy the other players?
I will then select the four or five applicants I believe will be best for the campaign (keep in mind there are two campaign openings!).
-
Once this is done, you will be given full access to the discord server which includes character creation. We will then plan our session zero which will be a meet and greet, rules discussion, content warnings (again), and finalizing the creation of your character. All characters will require a background with a minimum of 1 page and privately shared with me.
-
Some concluding notes:
>This is a horror campaign. While I can't necessarily dial down the narrative, I can restrict the jump scares or effects if they are too much for you.
>I have an open door policy. You may privately message me over anything with the campaign, players, or myself.
>I expect a high attendance rate. Life happens, I understand that. But you should not commit to this campaign if you cannot uphold at least a 80% attendance rate.
>This is a paid per session campaign and this campaign may very well last over a year. While this is not my full time job, I do rely on this income to pay for much of what I put into it and to continue to pay for all the amazing features it holds.
>Please notify me if you have a specific phobia of some kind.
>I tend to integrate character backstories as much as I possibly can. A backstory is REQUIRED.
>Be respectful to the players and myself (and yourself!). I do not know the rules front to back and you will soon see I changed a lot of the rules/systems a bit. If you feel as if something is unfair or wrong, speak freely about it and I will consider any changes. If the entire party agrees on and matter, I will alter 99% change said matter. After all, this campaign should be for your enjoyment!
submitted by Sacred_F0x to DnDLFG [link] [comments]
In this campaign all the following changes are by a paid service/subscription or completely original. This will exponentially highlight your experience into a brand new taste of Curse of Strahd.
-Heavy (I MEANY HEAVY) rewrite of the lore and background of Curse of Strahd.
-Creatures reimagined: beyond the homebrew, traditional creatures such as ghosts have all been reflavored. This doesn't just include their stat blocks but also their behavior, characteristics, and lore. Use the handy dandy "Codex" to record your encounters against the supernatural or learn from experienced hunters. This new system encourages strategic gameplay and synergy with your party.
-More than 20 boss fights, all completely original or reimagined.
-Animated battlemaps
-Animated Tokens
-10 new classes + 150 subclasses
-100+ new magic items
-Brand New Alchemy System for crafting elixirs-on-the-go!
-Additional systems for added variety of play
-Soundboard
-Cutscenes!
-Custom artwork
-Interactive Maps
-Dozens of amazing modules and scripts to enhance your gameplay such as animated effects, auto-math, interacting with shopkeepers, and plenty more!
-Original and innovative puzzles
-Guest Stars
-On call technician for backend support
-And of course you already know - More To Come!
I have worked hard and diligently and poured quite a bit of resources into developing this campaign into what it is today. With all that said, I feel confident that it will be an amazing experience and I am so excited to hear you (hopefully!) validate that for me.
That being said, I find that even with all this work - the most important factor when it comes to a successful campaign... is the players. It is my duty to screen through all the applicants and put together a party that I feel like will be most compatible with each other and respectful to the expectations and responsibility of this campaign.
-
This is what you can expect when applying. All applicants will be directed to the discord server and mark the applicant role. From there you are free to chat with other applicants as I organize a preplanned one-shot that will include you plus two other applicants (groups of three). The one-shot will be free, last up to 2.5 hours, and showcase your personality and style as a player. It is possible that you might have to do another one-shot with two other players to bestow me with further data.
Once a one-shot is completed, you will be given a private questionnaire which will help me determine two things; did you feel comfortable with my style as a DM? And how did you enjoy the other players?
I will then select the four or five applicants I believe will be best for the campaign (keep in mind there are two campaign openings!).
-
Once this is done, you will be given full access to the discord server which includes character creation. We will then plan our session zero which will be a meet and greet, rules discussion, content warnings (again), and finalizing the creation of your character. All characters will require a background with a minimum of 1 page and privately shared with me.
-
Some concluding notes:
>This is a horror campaign. While I can't necessarily dial down the narrative, I can restrict the jump scares or effects if they are too much for you.
>I have an open door policy. You may privately message me over anything with the campaign, players, or myself.
>I expect a high attendance rate. Life happens, I understand that. But you should not commit to this campaign if you cannot uphold at least a 80% attendance rate.
>This is a paid per session campaign and this campaign may very well last over a year. While this is not my full time job, I do rely on this income to pay for much of what I put into it and to continue to pay for all the amazing features it holds.
>Please notify me if you have a specific phobia of some kind.
>I tend to integrate character backstories as much as I possibly can. A backstory is REQUIRED.
>Be respectful to the players and myself (and yourself!). I do not know the rules front to back and you will soon see I changed a lot of the rules/systems a bit. If you feel as if something is unfair or wrong, speak freely about it and I will consider any changes. If the entire party agrees on and matter, I will alter 99% change said matter. After all, this campaign should be for your enjoyment!
2023.05.29 05:45 todger99 Is my (23M) partner’s (25M) job ruining our relationship?
My partner (25M) has a job that gives him no work-life balance, makes him work 14+ hour shifts on occasion in which he has to do a lot of work on his own.
Me and his friends have said that he needs to quit his job and get one that gives him a better work-life balance and he agrees but never takes it anywhere. He works with his mum, who is his boss, and says that he won’t leave unless she does because he takes the workload off her as the job is very intensive. I don’t know if this is the real reason or an excuse as I fear he may be a workaholic to ignore his life traumas (he’s had a very traumatic life).
His job has led to him being very stressed constantly, I barely get to spend time with him and when I do he is moody, stressed and often takes it out on me. His friends are drifting from him, he doesn’t have the ability to do enjoyable things in his 20s unlike everyone else. I think he may resent me as I have a good work life balance and prioritise my friendships and doing enjoyable things rather than my life being solely work focused.
His life is so disorganised, whenever I see him I end up having to clean his room and doing chores for him because he is that overworked he doesn’t have time to do simple tasks.
I want to support him but I feel like we’re living two very different lives, adding onto that his moodiness which is just making me start to dislike him.
What is the best solution in this scenario? I feel like him quitting his job and getting one with a better work-life balance would sort out a lot of his problems and make our relationship a lot better.
submitted by todger99 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Me and his friends have said that he needs to quit his job and get one that gives him a better work-life balance and he agrees but never takes it anywhere. He works with his mum, who is his boss, and says that he won’t leave unless she does because he takes the workload off her as the job is very intensive. I don’t know if this is the real reason or an excuse as I fear he may be a workaholic to ignore his life traumas (he’s had a very traumatic life).
His job has led to him being very stressed constantly, I barely get to spend time with him and when I do he is moody, stressed and often takes it out on me. His friends are drifting from him, he doesn’t have the ability to do enjoyable things in his 20s unlike everyone else. I think he may resent me as I have a good work life balance and prioritise my friendships and doing enjoyable things rather than my life being solely work focused.
His life is so disorganised, whenever I see him I end up having to clean his room and doing chores for him because he is that overworked he doesn’t have time to do simple tasks.
I want to support him but I feel like we’re living two very different lives, adding onto that his moodiness which is just making me start to dislike him.
What is the best solution in this scenario? I feel like him quitting his job and getting one with a better work-life balance would sort out a lot of his problems and make our relationship a lot better.
2023.05.29 04:47 JLGoodwin1990 If you ever think you see something peering at you from around a corner, ignore it
Have you ever had the experience of swearing you saw something at the edge of your vision, peering at you from around a corner before? I’m fairly sure a good chunk of people have, maybe even you reading this right now. Regardless of whether you’re in a crowded area such as a mall or school, or home by yourself, you’ve more than likely had that strange sensation of being watched, usually accompanied by a slight shiver down your spine. You’ll snap your head up from whatever it is you’re doing, or whoever you’re talking to. And nothing will be there. But, you always swear that, at the very edge of your vision, you saw something. A slight blur, as if something was there, but seemed to anticipate your move, and pulled back out of sight. I’m fairly certain most of you just end up shaking it off. You shake your head, telling yourself that nothing was there, and go back to what you were doing.
That’s a good thing. Because it’s what keeps you safe. It’s what keeps you alive.
Like many of you, for years, I always wrote seeing the slight blur at the edge of my sight off as a trick of my eyes. “Being so focused on one particular area that the rest of your vision goes fuzzy” as my mother once told me when I, as a child, told her I’d seen something at the doorway to my bedroom. And as I grew older, I simply took it as fact, the way every child takes their parent’s wisdom to heart. And once I became an adult, I simply waved it away completely.
That was, until one night.
You see, as a thirty-something year old bachelor who makes just above the line of adequate pay, I live by myself in a small, one bedroom apartment. It means having to live farther out from the city where I work, but I prefer living alone over not having to make the rather long drive to and from work every day. And, because my free time during the day is close to zero, I also am a bit of a night owl. This particular night, about three and a half weeks ago, I was up late, sitting at my kitchen table with my laptop out in front of me. I was surfing the net, looking for good deals on EBay for a new DVD/VCR combo since my old one broke, when the feeling came over me. The small, but noticeable shiver shot up my spine, and at the upper edge of my vision, just below where my hair began to drift into my eyes, I saw it.
It was a black and silver blur. At least, that’s what it looked like to me. I lifted my head quickly, looking towards the corner I’d seen it. My kitchen is in the back of the apartment, and where the table is set up, I was looking back out into the living room. The bedroom also sits next to the kitchen, and the wall separating the two stretches out a bit, causing a rather large blind spot from where I sat. Of course, when I looked up, there was nothing there. For a few more seconds, I simply sat, staring at the corner. Nothing moved. There was no sound except for the quiet whine of my laptop’s fan, and the hum of the fridge. I snorted. Really, Eddie? You’re jumping at shadowy blurs now? What are you, eight years old again? And with a shake of my head, I went back to the computer screen.
The hours seemed to pass by at an accelerated pace, and to my surprise, when I checked the clock at the bottom right of my laptop screen, the time said quarter to three in the morning. “Holy crap, I stayed up too friggin’ late!” I whispered to myself. I’d barely be getting four or five hours of sleep. And so, with a yawn, I shut my computer down and put it back into its carrying bag. As I stood up, though, a slight feeling of apprehension wiggled its way to the forefront of my mind. I lifted my head from zipping up the bag and again stared at the corner. This time there was nothing there. No blur at all. Recalling what my mother had told me years ago, I stood up and slowly stepped into the center of the kitchen, where I could see around the corner. I felt a small pang of embarrassment at the relief that washed over me as I saw nothing was there.
“What next, you gonna start believing in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus again?” I muttered to myself. And with that, I entered my bedroom, shutting the door behind me and climbing into bed. For a moment, the image of the blur danced behind my eyelids. And then the sandman overtook me, plunging me into a deep and dreamless sleep.
The next day passed by like I was wading through quicksand. Of course, it likely had to do with how tired I was. But I got through the day, and soon enough, I was back home. This time, I resolved to get to bed before midnight. One AM at the latest. So I didn’t go on my computer. Instead, I watched some TV, and indulged myself in a few online matches in Battlefield 1. Soon enough, the clock sitting next to the TV displayed 12:35 in big red numbers. Alright, time for bed, I thought, and stood up, shutting off the TV and Xbox. I decided that I would get myself a drink before bed, and moved to the fridge. Opening it, I pulled a pitcher of juice out, and grabbing a glass from a nearby cabinet, poured myself some. The cold liquid felt good sliding down my throat, and I let out a relieved sigh. For a moment, I closed my eyes. Apart from the sound of a diesel truck passing by outside, and the ticking of the clock over the sink, all was silent. And I loved it. I placed the glass in the sink to wash tomorrow, and turned to take the pitcher back to the fridge.
And nearly dropped it at what I saw. As I turned around, I had a clear view across the kitchen and living room toward the small alcove where my front door sat. And for just a second, I saw the same black and silver blur, pulling back out of sight from the edge of my vision. Except this time, I know it wasn’t just a trick of my vision, or a strand of hair flashing in front of my face. “Hey!” I reflexively yelled out. I didn’t expect any response, and I didn’t get any. But now I knew for certain. There was something, or someone there. I felt my pulse rapidly quicken, and my heart began to beat like a drum against my chest. Fucking great, did someone decide to break in and try to burgle my apartment, of all places tonight? I looked around quickly for something to defend myself. My eyes fell upon the block holding all my kitchen knives, and moving quickly, I pulled the largest one out and turned back towards the entryway.
There was no movement now, but I noticed a change in the atmosphere. Gone was the simple, vacant air the apartment always held. Now, it seemed to contain a charge to it. As if seeing the figure had been something they hadn’t planned on. As if I weren’t supposed to have seen it. Probably figured I’d already be in bed. Well, they have a massive surprise coming their way. I cleared my throat. “You back there” I called out simply. Again, there was no reply. I spoke again. “Look, I saw you there peeking around the corner of the entryway. The jig is up. I don’t want a fight right now, so, I’ll make you a deal. If you turn around right now and leave, I won’t call the cops on you, and I won’t come at you with this knife. Just, go find someone else to rob, okay?”
Still, there was silence. But the tension in the room seemed to have racked up more than a few notches at my words. I waited for a minute, feeling my temper begin to flare. Does the dumbass seriously believe that if he stays quiet, I’ll believe he’s not there and go to bed or something? It wouldn’t be a surprise; the people who usually broke into houses and apartments in my neighborhood were usually strung out on the drug of choice for the week, or, in all truthfulness, simply not that bright. I let out an annoyed growl. “If I have to come over there to get, it’s not gonna end well for you” I said. At six feet even, and in good shape, I could easily take on whoever it was.
The silence was almost deafening. Okay, the hell with this, man. I strode quickly across the room, the knife held out in front of me in a vice like grip. I stopped for a moment, drawing in all my strength and reflexes. For a moment, though, an odd sensation seemed to wash over me like a wave. To my surprise, it was a bolt of fear. But, fear of what? Yes, it was a bit dangerous to about to confront a cornered intruder, but fear shouldn’t be one of the experienced emotions. Shaking it away, I put all the muscle into my legs, and leapt around the corner.
There was nobody there.
For a moment, I simply stood there, feeling dumbfounded. “Uhhh….what?” I blurted out. I knew for a fact I’d seen someone there. It hadn’t been a trick of my eyes. And I hadn’t heard the front door open. In fact, looking down at it now, I saw the little knob on the door handle was, in fact, twisted into the locked position. As I stared down at it, a sudden, huge shiver rushed up my spine, combined with the feeling of being stared at intensely. In fact, it almost felt as though whoever were doing the staring, were almost directly behind me-shit!
On instinct, I whirled around, slashing out with the knife as hard as I could. But again, there was nothing. No one stood behind me. The oddest thing, though, was that as soon as I spun around, the feeling of eyes boring into the back of my skull ceased. As if the watcher had simply blinked out of existence the moment I turned. But the tension in the apartment didn’t go away. In fact, it almost seemed to intensify. And it kept me on edge. Enough to the point that I searched the entire apartment. I went into the bathroom, drawing back the shower curtain. I went into my bedroom and opened up the sliding doors to the closet. I even opened up both closets in the living room, pulling out all the coats and boxes someone could hide behind. But I found nothing. No trace of anybody. Even still, though, when I went to bed, I locked the door to my bedroom behind me, just in case. And I slept with the knife on my bedside table.
The next morning, when I awoke, the feeling had vanished from the apartment. It was almost as if the daylight had banished the tension filled aura away, and I was glad for it. Along with the fact that I had a full day of work ahead of me. And so, with a final look around, I locked the front door behind me, climbed into my old, but well taken care of Mitsubishi Starion, and made the two and a half hour drive into the city for work. The day passed by without much fuss, aside from a mandatory team meeting my dickhead boss decided to impose on us during our lunch break. The monotony calmed me down somewhat, and I began to mentally tease myself for how bent out of shape I’d gotten last night. I even decided to tell some of the guys at the water cooler about it.
Everyone, of course, had a good laugh over it. “Well, Ed, if I ever need someone to slice away at the dark emptiness of my house, I’ll be sure to give you a call!” Mark, one of my coworkers joked, causing everyone, including myself, to guffaw some more. The joking shoved it completely out of my mind, and before I knew it, the evening had arrived. I packed up my belongings back into the car and made the journey back home, still chuckling a bit to myself and humming along to the songs playing on the car’s radio. As I pulled into my apartment building’s parking lot and into my space at close to ten at night, however, I saw something which tore away that relaxed, relieved emotion from me like it’d been a loved one in the grip of a tsunami.
My complex is set up in a U formation with two floors, sort of similar to how an older built motel looks. My apartment was the second one on the top floor, and from where I sat in my car, I could look up and see the living room window of my place between the slats of the walkway’s railing. As I always did, when I left, I’d twisted shut the white venetian blinds so nobody walking past the window could look into my place.
Someone was peering down at me from between the blinds. From between my blinds.
I felt my blood turn to ice as I saw the obvious parting in the middle of them, signifying someone was pulling down on a section of them. And then doubly so when they, just as quickly, snapped back into position. Shitttt, I mentally hissed. I fumbled around in my coat pockets, looking for my cell phone. I let out a groan as I suddenly realized I’d forgotten it when I’d left home that morning. Which meant it was up there. With them. “Shit” I hissed again, out loud this time. I gazed around for a moment at the darkened windows of the other units. But I knew none of my neighbors would be of any help to me. Long gone were the days of neighbors looking out for each other; they would, inevitably, tell me to either find a way to call the cops myself, or straight up tell me to go fuck myself, that it wasn’t their problem. Which, unless I wanted to drive straight to my local police station, over twenty minutes away, the only other option was…to go in myself.
Hissing through gritted teeth, I pulled the door handle and kicked the door open, letting the chilly night air flood into the car’s interior. I reached down and yanked on the trunk release before climbing out and slamming the door. Crossing to it, I pulled the glass hatch up and fumbled around inside for a moment, before withdrawing a tire iron from the mess of crap cluttering up the trunk. Slamming the hatch closed, I took a deep breath, then, leaving my car’s engine running in case I needed to make a quick getaway, I took the stairs to the top floor two at a time. A moment later, I was standing at the head of the landing, staring at the Tweety-Bird yellow painted door of my apartment. My heart pounded in my chest as I took a step forward, reaching out slowly and gripping the handle in one hand. I gave it a small twist to see if it would turn.
But it stayed in place, showing that the door was still locked. Or, whoever’s in there locked it behind them. Swallowing a bit, I reached into my pants pocket for my house keys with my free hand. Pulling them out, I slid them as quietly as possible into the lock in the center of the doorknob. I took a deep breath, knowing as soon as I twisted the key, the doorknob would turn with it as well. “God, please don’t let me get jumped as soon as I step inside” I quietly whispered towards the dark sky. I let out the deep breath, then raised the tire iron over my head and twisted the key.
The knob turned, and I immediately pushed the door open. It swung inwards, before hitting the wall with a soft clunk. The porch light cast a long, narrow shaft of light into the dark room beyond, reflecting off my flat screen TV on the far side of the living room. Aside from that, though, the place was as dark and silent as a tomb. My pulse quickened as I slowly reached inside, my hand searching for the light switch. Part of my feared that, as I blindly searched, I’d suddenly feel a vice like grip seize my wrist and pull me into the dark. The mental image sent a shiver of fear through me, just as my fingers found the plastic switch. Flicking it on, the living room suddenly became awash in the bright overhead light. Still holding the tire iron over my head, I took a tentative step inside. The atmosphere in here had changed again. Gone was the tense one which had accompanied seeing…whoever the other night. In its place was….an almost threatening one. And realizing it set me even farther on edge.
Moving quickly, I leaned around the corner, giving me a glimpse of the kitchen beyond. Both it, and the living room were empty, from initial appearances, anyways. But that still left the bathroom, and the kitchen. Something caught my eye, however, which filled me with relief. My cell phone still sat where I’d left it, in the middle of the living room coffee table. I moved slowly, trying to stay as quiet as possible so whoever was hidden wouldn’t realize I was going for my phone and bum rush me. I held my breath as I passed by the half open doors of both my bathroom and bedroom, stepping around the couch and picking up my phone. I decided right there and then, that I’d step back outside and call the cops. There was a fine line between being courageous, and being suicidally stupid, and searching this place on my own, with just a tire iron to defend myself, especially knowing someone was hiding somewhere in here, was firmly on the latter side of that line.
I turned to begin walking quickly back to the open front door. But something stopped me. Something which made me freeze. There was a small section of eggshell white wall between the door to one of my closets, and the bathroom door. Something had been written there. No, not written, I realized. It had been scratched into the wall. My eyes flashed over the three words etched into the paint and plaster. Videre nos potest. My head swam with confusion, trying to place what language it was. That was when I felt my heart almost stop in my chest, my breath along with it.
Out of the left corner of my vision, I saw the door to my bedroom had slowly, but noticeably swung open a bit. That wasn’t what had caused my heart to skip a beat, though. It was seeing the black and silver blur again. Ohhhhh, shit. Before the thought had finished in my head, I was dashing for the door. Out of the corner of my vision, there was a sudden blur of movement as the black and silver figure came flying out of the room. It never made a sound, though. I dodged it, somehow, and flew around the corner, snatching the doorknob in my free hand and yanking the door shut behind me. Twisting the keys to the right to lock the door again, I tore them from the lock and thundered back down the stairs, yanking the door to my car open and crashing into the driver’s seat. Slamming the door shut and locking it, I dropped the tire iron and fumbled with my phone.
As the voice of the emergency dispatcher came on the other end of the line, and I stumbled through explaining what had happened, I kept my gaze locked through the windshield on the front door and the living room window. I swear I saw the blinds part again as I heard the wail of the police sirens approaching.
When the police arrived, I jumped out of my car and quickly explained what had happened. They took my house keys from me and with their pistols drawn, climbed quickly up the steps to my place. With neighbors opening their doors and parting their blinds to see what was happening, they unlocked the door and quickly entered. A few minutes later, they both reappeared and waved for me to come up and join them. “I’m sorry sir, but whoever it was, they’re gone” one of them said to me. He then showed me that the window in the back of the apartment, which was in the back of the kitchen and opened out onto a main road, had been opened, the mosquito screen having been cut to allow someone to jump out. I stared out and down at the two story drop. It would hurt to jump from this height, but it’s doable, I thought. The cops again did a sweep of the apartment, turning the entire place upside down with me there, and again, found no one. They both promised to stay the night outside, to keep an eye on the place in case the person attempted to try and come back, and would make sure an officer was posted outside for the next week or so. It made me feel more than a bit better.
“What about the writing scratched into the wall?” I asked them, pointing to it. The first officer shrugged. “I honestly don’t know, sir” he said, giving me an apologetic look, “That’s a language I’ve never seen before” That’s when the second spoke up. “It’s Latin” he said simply. We both looked at him. He was staring at the writing with a bit of a confused, if not apprehensive look on his face. “But what freaking low level criminal knows Latin?” he murmured quietly, more to himself than us. “Well, what does it say?” I asked him. For a few seconds, he didn’t answer, then he finally turned and looked at me.
“He can see us. That’s, roughly, what it says”
I felt a massive chill shoot up my spine at his words, though I couldn’t understand why. Not at the time.
As promised, the officers watched over the apartment the rest of the night. And for the next week, there was always at least one cop car sitting outside. It was also, thankfully, quiet that next week. I was almost able to feel completely calm, putting the frightening experience out of my mind and allowing my life to regain a bit of normalcy. I didn’t feel any sensation of being watched. One thing I did do, though, was type the Latin words into Google, in an attempt to see if anything came up. But nothing did. I decided to push the last remnants out of my conscious mind. And as the weekend came, I looked forward to sitting on the couch, playing video games all night, and having a bottle of Hypnotiq to myself. Saturday night, I played until almost one in the morning, before stumbling my drunk ass to the bed. I passed out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I’m honestly not sure what woke me up. But when I slid my eyes open, it was still to darkness. I felt my head begin to spin, showing that I wasn’t fully sober yet. I shot a look at the bright red glowing numbers of the clock on the bedside table next to my head. 3:30AM. Ugh, what the hell? Do I have to piss? What woke me u-
Everything stopped. My mind froze mid-thought, and my heart fluttered in my chest. My breath hitched in my chest as my eyes adjusted to the dark, staring across the room. I was looking at my bedroom closet, which, when I’d fallen asleep, I’d looked over and seen it closed. But now, as I stared, I realized the sliding right door had been pulled back some. A chill ran through me. And then it was replaced by a bone chilling shiver of fear as my eyes locked on to something else. Something which stared at me from around the edge of the half open closet door.
It was the black and silver blur. Except this time, it wasn’t a full on blur. I’m not sure whether it was the darkness or the alcohol still flowing through my veins, but…I could see it a bit more clearly now. I couldn’t see much. Just what looked like two large, very dark eyes, glaring at me. I felt frozen in place, fear quite literally paralyzing me to the bed. As I lay there, my eyes widened to the size of saucers, I slowly became aware of something else. Something which I’ll never forget, which I can still hear in the silence. It was whispering. It was a soft, hissing voice, sounding as grating as sandpaper, but it almost seemed to be growing in intensity. As if it knew I was awake and was staring at it. And it was not even remotely happy about it. The words were indistinguishable at first, but as the voice grew louder, the words became clear. But they weren’t words I knew. Or a language I knew.
“Tolle qui nos videre potest. Tolle qui nos videre potest. Tolle…qui nos videre potest!” I recognized some of the words as the same as the words written on my wall. It was speaking in Latin. The voice grew angrier and angrier, turning from a hiss into almost a demonic growl. And then, it went deadly silent. It almost seemed as though the entire world had gone dead silent, as if everything were being sucked out of the world.
That’s when I saw the hand reach up from underneath the bed to grab onto the sheets, less than a foot from my face. A hand which more resembled a claw, tipped with five razor sharp fingernails. There’s more than one….and it’s under my fucking bed!
Seeing that hand…that claw reaching up from under the bed broke the paralyzing hold that had come over me. I flew up in bed, flinging the sheets up and forwards and letting out an involuntary scream. Instantly, there seemed to be a world of motion in the bedroom. Black and silver blurs seemed to appear from everywhere. From the closet, from under the bed. Even from inside my armoire I used to store candy, books and CDs. And they were all coming for me.
But I was already moving, practically flying for my open bedroom door. Behind me, I caught the blurs following after me. They were terrifyingly fast, but they stayed silent. Silent, that is, except for the mantra they all suddenly began to angrily whisper. The same words I’d heard the one in the closet angrily hiss. “Tolle qui nos videre potest!” they chanted, just loud enough for me to hear. But not enough for anyone else in the complex to. I ran through the bedroom door, grabbing it and slamming it shut behind me. A moment later, I felt the push from the other side as whatever the things were attempted to force it open. Looking around, I spied a kitchen chair within reach and grabbed it, forcing it under the handle to block the door.
I knew it wouldn’t hold for long, though. I could hear the creatures practically throwing themselves at the door. I used the time I had to grab my computer bag, along with the clothes I’d left strewn on my living room floor and my cell phone. I’d just snatched my car keys from their hook, when I realized they’d gone silent. The assault on the door stopped. For a split second, I felt a wave of relief. And then I saw something out of the corner of my eye from the kitchen. My blood turned to ice as I realized the cabinet doors under the sink were beginning to open. And that demonic growl of a mantra was beginning to pour out from under it. So was my bathroom door. And both closets. “Oh, fuck me” I whimpered, then dashed for my door, snatching up my sneakers as they rushed out from their new hidey holes.
I unlocked and threw the door open, dashing out into the night and yanking it shut behind me. Bolting down the steps, I jammed the key into the door of my car and unlocked it. I piled into the driver’s seat and yanked the door shut, slamming down on the lock button. Forcing the key into the ignition and twisting it, the engine roared to life. I knew I should simply call the cops, but I knew at this point, if I did, when they arrived, they’d all have disappeared. Maybe even make it look like another person had jumped out the window again They're THAT smart. Instead, I jammed the shifter into reverse and peeled out of the parking lot. As I left, I saw the blinds part again. As they watched me go.
I haven’t been back to my apartment in weeks. I drove all through the night, fighting back the waves of nausea from the alcohol still in my system until I made it to the city where I work. I rented a motel room, and ever since then, I’ve been staying there. I figured I could just eventually have movers go and collect my things from the apartment, and give my thirty day notice. There was no way I was ever going back there.
I thought I would be safe in the city. I thought I would be safe anywhere else but my apartment. That they were bound to the place.
I was wrong. So very wrong.
Because I’ve started seeing them everywhere now. I’ve seen them while out in crowded places such as the mall or Wal-Mart. I’ve seen them in my coworker’s houses when I’m invited over by them as they tell me they’re concerned about how I’m beginning to act. I’m even seeing them at work. Peering at me from around the corners of hallways, from behind the water cooler. I’ve even caught them glaring at me from around the corner of my office cubicle. They whisper that horrible Latin mantra to themselves, now added with evil chuckles. And whisper it to me. I ended up entering the phrase into Google Translate, to understand what they were saying. But wish I never had. Because knowing meaning of the words fills me with an existential dread and terror I’ve never felt before.
Take away he who can see us
You need to listen to me now. You, reading this account I’m posting. I don’t know what these creatures are. I wish I did, because then, I might have some way of fighting back against them. I don’t even know what they fully look like. I’ve only seen their eyes. And their clawed hands. The only thing I can deduce, is that they are incalculably old. Centuries old. Maybe even eons. I now understand that those blurs I saw all throughout my life, from the corner of my vision, were them. They’ve lived alongside us for all of humanity’s existence, staying just out of sight. They like it that way. They don’t like us humans knowing about them.
But I know others, not just myself, have likely seen them.
How many strange cases of people disappearing in their homes, with all the doors and windows locked from the inside have you heard about. I know I’ve heard more than a few. And I think I know what happened to them. They saw these creatures. And when they realized the people could see them? They came for them. They wore them down, mentally and physically. Like they’re doing to me now. I’m afraid to fall asleep. Afraid I’ll wake up to see them right in front of me. I feel so weak now. I couldn’t fight them off if I tried. They know that. They knew that about the others. And that’s when they dragged them away….to God only knows where.
I know I'm going to find out soon enough.
Because all of today, they’ve been getting closer. I caught one trying to grab my leg under my desk. That wasn’t the scariest encounter I’ve had. The worst was driving back to the motel. Looking in the rear view mirror of my Starion. And seeing one of them glaring at me from just behind the rear seat. It caused me to nearly crash into a telephone pole. I’ve locked myself in my motel room, which is where I’m writing this. I don’t have much time left. They’re beginning to poke their heads out from everywhere in here. Multiple have popped their heads up from under the bed, watching me frantically typing this out on my laptop. And they’re all laughing at me. Today is when they're going to take me. They know I know that. I can’t do anything more now. I can’t run from them anymore. I’m too tired. Too weak.
But I can do one final thing. I can warn you. I can post this account here as a warning. I know for a fact most of you won’t believe me. And that’s fine. It may even be what saves you in the end.
But please, listen to me when I say this. If you ever think you see something peering at you from around a corner? If you ever catch a glimpse of a black and silver blur disappearing just out of sight? Don’t investigate it. Just ignore it. Tell yourself it’s nothing, and go about with your lives.
Because you don’t ever want them to realize you can see them.
submitted by JLGoodwin1990 to nosleep [link] [comments]
That’s a good thing. Because it’s what keeps you safe. It’s what keeps you alive.
Like many of you, for years, I always wrote seeing the slight blur at the edge of my sight off as a trick of my eyes. “Being so focused on one particular area that the rest of your vision goes fuzzy” as my mother once told me when I, as a child, told her I’d seen something at the doorway to my bedroom. And as I grew older, I simply took it as fact, the way every child takes their parent’s wisdom to heart. And once I became an adult, I simply waved it away completely.
That was, until one night.
You see, as a thirty-something year old bachelor who makes just above the line of adequate pay, I live by myself in a small, one bedroom apartment. It means having to live farther out from the city where I work, but I prefer living alone over not having to make the rather long drive to and from work every day. And, because my free time during the day is close to zero, I also am a bit of a night owl. This particular night, about three and a half weeks ago, I was up late, sitting at my kitchen table with my laptop out in front of me. I was surfing the net, looking for good deals on EBay for a new DVD/VCR combo since my old one broke, when the feeling came over me. The small, but noticeable shiver shot up my spine, and at the upper edge of my vision, just below where my hair began to drift into my eyes, I saw it.
It was a black and silver blur. At least, that’s what it looked like to me. I lifted my head quickly, looking towards the corner I’d seen it. My kitchen is in the back of the apartment, and where the table is set up, I was looking back out into the living room. The bedroom also sits next to the kitchen, and the wall separating the two stretches out a bit, causing a rather large blind spot from where I sat. Of course, when I looked up, there was nothing there. For a few more seconds, I simply sat, staring at the corner. Nothing moved. There was no sound except for the quiet whine of my laptop’s fan, and the hum of the fridge. I snorted. Really, Eddie? You’re jumping at shadowy blurs now? What are you, eight years old again? And with a shake of my head, I went back to the computer screen.
The hours seemed to pass by at an accelerated pace, and to my surprise, when I checked the clock at the bottom right of my laptop screen, the time said quarter to three in the morning. “Holy crap, I stayed up too friggin’ late!” I whispered to myself. I’d barely be getting four or five hours of sleep. And so, with a yawn, I shut my computer down and put it back into its carrying bag. As I stood up, though, a slight feeling of apprehension wiggled its way to the forefront of my mind. I lifted my head from zipping up the bag and again stared at the corner. This time there was nothing there. No blur at all. Recalling what my mother had told me years ago, I stood up and slowly stepped into the center of the kitchen, where I could see around the corner. I felt a small pang of embarrassment at the relief that washed over me as I saw nothing was there.
“What next, you gonna start believing in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus again?” I muttered to myself. And with that, I entered my bedroom, shutting the door behind me and climbing into bed. For a moment, the image of the blur danced behind my eyelids. And then the sandman overtook me, plunging me into a deep and dreamless sleep.
The next day passed by like I was wading through quicksand. Of course, it likely had to do with how tired I was. But I got through the day, and soon enough, I was back home. This time, I resolved to get to bed before midnight. One AM at the latest. So I didn’t go on my computer. Instead, I watched some TV, and indulged myself in a few online matches in Battlefield 1. Soon enough, the clock sitting next to the TV displayed 12:35 in big red numbers. Alright, time for bed, I thought, and stood up, shutting off the TV and Xbox. I decided that I would get myself a drink before bed, and moved to the fridge. Opening it, I pulled a pitcher of juice out, and grabbing a glass from a nearby cabinet, poured myself some. The cold liquid felt good sliding down my throat, and I let out a relieved sigh. For a moment, I closed my eyes. Apart from the sound of a diesel truck passing by outside, and the ticking of the clock over the sink, all was silent. And I loved it. I placed the glass in the sink to wash tomorrow, and turned to take the pitcher back to the fridge.
And nearly dropped it at what I saw. As I turned around, I had a clear view across the kitchen and living room toward the small alcove where my front door sat. And for just a second, I saw the same black and silver blur, pulling back out of sight from the edge of my vision. Except this time, I know it wasn’t just a trick of my vision, or a strand of hair flashing in front of my face. “Hey!” I reflexively yelled out. I didn’t expect any response, and I didn’t get any. But now I knew for certain. There was something, or someone there. I felt my pulse rapidly quicken, and my heart began to beat like a drum against my chest. Fucking great, did someone decide to break in and try to burgle my apartment, of all places tonight? I looked around quickly for something to defend myself. My eyes fell upon the block holding all my kitchen knives, and moving quickly, I pulled the largest one out and turned back towards the entryway.
There was no movement now, but I noticed a change in the atmosphere. Gone was the simple, vacant air the apartment always held. Now, it seemed to contain a charge to it. As if seeing the figure had been something they hadn’t planned on. As if I weren’t supposed to have seen it. Probably figured I’d already be in bed. Well, they have a massive surprise coming their way. I cleared my throat. “You back there” I called out simply. Again, there was no reply. I spoke again. “Look, I saw you there peeking around the corner of the entryway. The jig is up. I don’t want a fight right now, so, I’ll make you a deal. If you turn around right now and leave, I won’t call the cops on you, and I won’t come at you with this knife. Just, go find someone else to rob, okay?”
Still, there was silence. But the tension in the room seemed to have racked up more than a few notches at my words. I waited for a minute, feeling my temper begin to flare. Does the dumbass seriously believe that if he stays quiet, I’ll believe he’s not there and go to bed or something? It wouldn’t be a surprise; the people who usually broke into houses and apartments in my neighborhood were usually strung out on the drug of choice for the week, or, in all truthfulness, simply not that bright. I let out an annoyed growl. “If I have to come over there to get, it’s not gonna end well for you” I said. At six feet even, and in good shape, I could easily take on whoever it was.
The silence was almost deafening. Okay, the hell with this, man. I strode quickly across the room, the knife held out in front of me in a vice like grip. I stopped for a moment, drawing in all my strength and reflexes. For a moment, though, an odd sensation seemed to wash over me like a wave. To my surprise, it was a bolt of fear. But, fear of what? Yes, it was a bit dangerous to about to confront a cornered intruder, but fear shouldn’t be one of the experienced emotions. Shaking it away, I put all the muscle into my legs, and leapt around the corner.
There was nobody there.
For a moment, I simply stood there, feeling dumbfounded. “Uhhh….what?” I blurted out. I knew for a fact I’d seen someone there. It hadn’t been a trick of my eyes. And I hadn’t heard the front door open. In fact, looking down at it now, I saw the little knob on the door handle was, in fact, twisted into the locked position. As I stared down at it, a sudden, huge shiver rushed up my spine, combined with the feeling of being stared at intensely. In fact, it almost felt as though whoever were doing the staring, were almost directly behind me-shit!
On instinct, I whirled around, slashing out with the knife as hard as I could. But again, there was nothing. No one stood behind me. The oddest thing, though, was that as soon as I spun around, the feeling of eyes boring into the back of my skull ceased. As if the watcher had simply blinked out of existence the moment I turned. But the tension in the apartment didn’t go away. In fact, it almost seemed to intensify. And it kept me on edge. Enough to the point that I searched the entire apartment. I went into the bathroom, drawing back the shower curtain. I went into my bedroom and opened up the sliding doors to the closet. I even opened up both closets in the living room, pulling out all the coats and boxes someone could hide behind. But I found nothing. No trace of anybody. Even still, though, when I went to bed, I locked the door to my bedroom behind me, just in case. And I slept with the knife on my bedside table.
The next morning, when I awoke, the feeling had vanished from the apartment. It was almost as if the daylight had banished the tension filled aura away, and I was glad for it. Along with the fact that I had a full day of work ahead of me. And so, with a final look around, I locked the front door behind me, climbed into my old, but well taken care of Mitsubishi Starion, and made the two and a half hour drive into the city for work. The day passed by without much fuss, aside from a mandatory team meeting my dickhead boss decided to impose on us during our lunch break. The monotony calmed me down somewhat, and I began to mentally tease myself for how bent out of shape I’d gotten last night. I even decided to tell some of the guys at the water cooler about it.
Everyone, of course, had a good laugh over it. “Well, Ed, if I ever need someone to slice away at the dark emptiness of my house, I’ll be sure to give you a call!” Mark, one of my coworkers joked, causing everyone, including myself, to guffaw some more. The joking shoved it completely out of my mind, and before I knew it, the evening had arrived. I packed up my belongings back into the car and made the journey back home, still chuckling a bit to myself and humming along to the songs playing on the car’s radio. As I pulled into my apartment building’s parking lot and into my space at close to ten at night, however, I saw something which tore away that relaxed, relieved emotion from me like it’d been a loved one in the grip of a tsunami.
My complex is set up in a U formation with two floors, sort of similar to how an older built motel looks. My apartment was the second one on the top floor, and from where I sat in my car, I could look up and see the living room window of my place between the slats of the walkway’s railing. As I always did, when I left, I’d twisted shut the white venetian blinds so nobody walking past the window could look into my place.
Someone was peering down at me from between the blinds. From between my blinds.
I felt my blood turn to ice as I saw the obvious parting in the middle of them, signifying someone was pulling down on a section of them. And then doubly so when they, just as quickly, snapped back into position. Shitttt, I mentally hissed. I fumbled around in my coat pockets, looking for my cell phone. I let out a groan as I suddenly realized I’d forgotten it when I’d left home that morning. Which meant it was up there. With them. “Shit” I hissed again, out loud this time. I gazed around for a moment at the darkened windows of the other units. But I knew none of my neighbors would be of any help to me. Long gone were the days of neighbors looking out for each other; they would, inevitably, tell me to either find a way to call the cops myself, or straight up tell me to go fuck myself, that it wasn’t their problem. Which, unless I wanted to drive straight to my local police station, over twenty minutes away, the only other option was…to go in myself.
Hissing through gritted teeth, I pulled the door handle and kicked the door open, letting the chilly night air flood into the car’s interior. I reached down and yanked on the trunk release before climbing out and slamming the door. Crossing to it, I pulled the glass hatch up and fumbled around inside for a moment, before withdrawing a tire iron from the mess of crap cluttering up the trunk. Slamming the hatch closed, I took a deep breath, then, leaving my car’s engine running in case I needed to make a quick getaway, I took the stairs to the top floor two at a time. A moment later, I was standing at the head of the landing, staring at the Tweety-Bird yellow painted door of my apartment. My heart pounded in my chest as I took a step forward, reaching out slowly and gripping the handle in one hand. I gave it a small twist to see if it would turn.
But it stayed in place, showing that the door was still locked. Or, whoever’s in there locked it behind them. Swallowing a bit, I reached into my pants pocket for my house keys with my free hand. Pulling them out, I slid them as quietly as possible into the lock in the center of the doorknob. I took a deep breath, knowing as soon as I twisted the key, the doorknob would turn with it as well. “God, please don’t let me get jumped as soon as I step inside” I quietly whispered towards the dark sky. I let out the deep breath, then raised the tire iron over my head and twisted the key.
The knob turned, and I immediately pushed the door open. It swung inwards, before hitting the wall with a soft clunk. The porch light cast a long, narrow shaft of light into the dark room beyond, reflecting off my flat screen TV on the far side of the living room. Aside from that, though, the place was as dark and silent as a tomb. My pulse quickened as I slowly reached inside, my hand searching for the light switch. Part of my feared that, as I blindly searched, I’d suddenly feel a vice like grip seize my wrist and pull me into the dark. The mental image sent a shiver of fear through me, just as my fingers found the plastic switch. Flicking it on, the living room suddenly became awash in the bright overhead light. Still holding the tire iron over my head, I took a tentative step inside. The atmosphere in here had changed again. Gone was the tense one which had accompanied seeing…whoever the other night. In its place was….an almost threatening one. And realizing it set me even farther on edge.
Moving quickly, I leaned around the corner, giving me a glimpse of the kitchen beyond. Both it, and the living room were empty, from initial appearances, anyways. But that still left the bathroom, and the kitchen. Something caught my eye, however, which filled me with relief. My cell phone still sat where I’d left it, in the middle of the living room coffee table. I moved slowly, trying to stay as quiet as possible so whoever was hidden wouldn’t realize I was going for my phone and bum rush me. I held my breath as I passed by the half open doors of both my bathroom and bedroom, stepping around the couch and picking up my phone. I decided right there and then, that I’d step back outside and call the cops. There was a fine line between being courageous, and being suicidally stupid, and searching this place on my own, with just a tire iron to defend myself, especially knowing someone was hiding somewhere in here, was firmly on the latter side of that line.
I turned to begin walking quickly back to the open front door. But something stopped me. Something which made me freeze. There was a small section of eggshell white wall between the door to one of my closets, and the bathroom door. Something had been written there. No, not written, I realized. It had been scratched into the wall. My eyes flashed over the three words etched into the paint and plaster. Videre nos potest. My head swam with confusion, trying to place what language it was. That was when I felt my heart almost stop in my chest, my breath along with it.
Out of the left corner of my vision, I saw the door to my bedroom had slowly, but noticeably swung open a bit. That wasn’t what had caused my heart to skip a beat, though. It was seeing the black and silver blur again. Ohhhhh, shit. Before the thought had finished in my head, I was dashing for the door. Out of the corner of my vision, there was a sudden blur of movement as the black and silver figure came flying out of the room. It never made a sound, though. I dodged it, somehow, and flew around the corner, snatching the doorknob in my free hand and yanking the door shut behind me. Twisting the keys to the right to lock the door again, I tore them from the lock and thundered back down the stairs, yanking the door to my car open and crashing into the driver’s seat. Slamming the door shut and locking it, I dropped the tire iron and fumbled with my phone.
As the voice of the emergency dispatcher came on the other end of the line, and I stumbled through explaining what had happened, I kept my gaze locked through the windshield on the front door and the living room window. I swear I saw the blinds part again as I heard the wail of the police sirens approaching.
When the police arrived, I jumped out of my car and quickly explained what had happened. They took my house keys from me and with their pistols drawn, climbed quickly up the steps to my place. With neighbors opening their doors and parting their blinds to see what was happening, they unlocked the door and quickly entered. A few minutes later, they both reappeared and waved for me to come up and join them. “I’m sorry sir, but whoever it was, they’re gone” one of them said to me. He then showed me that the window in the back of the apartment, which was in the back of the kitchen and opened out onto a main road, had been opened, the mosquito screen having been cut to allow someone to jump out. I stared out and down at the two story drop. It would hurt to jump from this height, but it’s doable, I thought. The cops again did a sweep of the apartment, turning the entire place upside down with me there, and again, found no one. They both promised to stay the night outside, to keep an eye on the place in case the person attempted to try and come back, and would make sure an officer was posted outside for the next week or so. It made me feel more than a bit better.
“What about the writing scratched into the wall?” I asked them, pointing to it. The first officer shrugged. “I honestly don’t know, sir” he said, giving me an apologetic look, “That’s a language I’ve never seen before” That’s when the second spoke up. “It’s Latin” he said simply. We both looked at him. He was staring at the writing with a bit of a confused, if not apprehensive look on his face. “But what freaking low level criminal knows Latin?” he murmured quietly, more to himself than us. “Well, what does it say?” I asked him. For a few seconds, he didn’t answer, then he finally turned and looked at me.
“He can see us. That’s, roughly, what it says”
I felt a massive chill shoot up my spine at his words, though I couldn’t understand why. Not at the time.
As promised, the officers watched over the apartment the rest of the night. And for the next week, there was always at least one cop car sitting outside. It was also, thankfully, quiet that next week. I was almost able to feel completely calm, putting the frightening experience out of my mind and allowing my life to regain a bit of normalcy. I didn’t feel any sensation of being watched. One thing I did do, though, was type the Latin words into Google, in an attempt to see if anything came up. But nothing did. I decided to push the last remnants out of my conscious mind. And as the weekend came, I looked forward to sitting on the couch, playing video games all night, and having a bottle of Hypnotiq to myself. Saturday night, I played until almost one in the morning, before stumbling my drunk ass to the bed. I passed out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I’m honestly not sure what woke me up. But when I slid my eyes open, it was still to darkness. I felt my head begin to spin, showing that I wasn’t fully sober yet. I shot a look at the bright red glowing numbers of the clock on the bedside table next to my head. 3:30AM. Ugh, what the hell? Do I have to piss? What woke me u-
Everything stopped. My mind froze mid-thought, and my heart fluttered in my chest. My breath hitched in my chest as my eyes adjusted to the dark, staring across the room. I was looking at my bedroom closet, which, when I’d fallen asleep, I’d looked over and seen it closed. But now, as I stared, I realized the sliding right door had been pulled back some. A chill ran through me. And then it was replaced by a bone chilling shiver of fear as my eyes locked on to something else. Something which stared at me from around the edge of the half open closet door.
It was the black and silver blur. Except this time, it wasn’t a full on blur. I’m not sure whether it was the darkness or the alcohol still flowing through my veins, but…I could see it a bit more clearly now. I couldn’t see much. Just what looked like two large, very dark eyes, glaring at me. I felt frozen in place, fear quite literally paralyzing me to the bed. As I lay there, my eyes widened to the size of saucers, I slowly became aware of something else. Something which I’ll never forget, which I can still hear in the silence. It was whispering. It was a soft, hissing voice, sounding as grating as sandpaper, but it almost seemed to be growing in intensity. As if it knew I was awake and was staring at it. And it was not even remotely happy about it. The words were indistinguishable at first, but as the voice grew louder, the words became clear. But they weren’t words I knew. Or a language I knew.
“Tolle qui nos videre potest. Tolle qui nos videre potest. Tolle…qui nos videre potest!” I recognized some of the words as the same as the words written on my wall. It was speaking in Latin. The voice grew angrier and angrier, turning from a hiss into almost a demonic growl. And then, it went deadly silent. It almost seemed as though the entire world had gone dead silent, as if everything were being sucked out of the world.
That’s when I saw the hand reach up from underneath the bed to grab onto the sheets, less than a foot from my face. A hand which more resembled a claw, tipped with five razor sharp fingernails. There’s more than one….and it’s under my fucking bed!
Seeing that hand…that claw reaching up from under the bed broke the paralyzing hold that had come over me. I flew up in bed, flinging the sheets up and forwards and letting out an involuntary scream. Instantly, there seemed to be a world of motion in the bedroom. Black and silver blurs seemed to appear from everywhere. From the closet, from under the bed. Even from inside my armoire I used to store candy, books and CDs. And they were all coming for me.
But I was already moving, practically flying for my open bedroom door. Behind me, I caught the blurs following after me. They were terrifyingly fast, but they stayed silent. Silent, that is, except for the mantra they all suddenly began to angrily whisper. The same words I’d heard the one in the closet angrily hiss. “Tolle qui nos videre potest!” they chanted, just loud enough for me to hear. But not enough for anyone else in the complex to. I ran through the bedroom door, grabbing it and slamming it shut behind me. A moment later, I felt the push from the other side as whatever the things were attempted to force it open. Looking around, I spied a kitchen chair within reach and grabbed it, forcing it under the handle to block the door.
I knew it wouldn’t hold for long, though. I could hear the creatures practically throwing themselves at the door. I used the time I had to grab my computer bag, along with the clothes I’d left strewn on my living room floor and my cell phone. I’d just snatched my car keys from their hook, when I realized they’d gone silent. The assault on the door stopped. For a split second, I felt a wave of relief. And then I saw something out of the corner of my eye from the kitchen. My blood turned to ice as I realized the cabinet doors under the sink were beginning to open. And that demonic growl of a mantra was beginning to pour out from under it. So was my bathroom door. And both closets. “Oh, fuck me” I whimpered, then dashed for my door, snatching up my sneakers as they rushed out from their new hidey holes.
I unlocked and threw the door open, dashing out into the night and yanking it shut behind me. Bolting down the steps, I jammed the key into the door of my car and unlocked it. I piled into the driver’s seat and yanked the door shut, slamming down on the lock button. Forcing the key into the ignition and twisting it, the engine roared to life. I knew I should simply call the cops, but I knew at this point, if I did, when they arrived, they’d all have disappeared. Maybe even make it look like another person had jumped out the window again They're THAT smart. Instead, I jammed the shifter into reverse and peeled out of the parking lot. As I left, I saw the blinds part again. As they watched me go.
I haven’t been back to my apartment in weeks. I drove all through the night, fighting back the waves of nausea from the alcohol still in my system until I made it to the city where I work. I rented a motel room, and ever since then, I’ve been staying there. I figured I could just eventually have movers go and collect my things from the apartment, and give my thirty day notice. There was no way I was ever going back there.
I thought I would be safe in the city. I thought I would be safe anywhere else but my apartment. That they were bound to the place.
I was wrong. So very wrong.
Because I’ve started seeing them everywhere now. I’ve seen them while out in crowded places such as the mall or Wal-Mart. I’ve seen them in my coworker’s houses when I’m invited over by them as they tell me they’re concerned about how I’m beginning to act. I’m even seeing them at work. Peering at me from around the corners of hallways, from behind the water cooler. I’ve even caught them glaring at me from around the corner of my office cubicle. They whisper that horrible Latin mantra to themselves, now added with evil chuckles. And whisper it to me. I ended up entering the phrase into Google Translate, to understand what they were saying. But wish I never had. Because knowing meaning of the words fills me with an existential dread and terror I’ve never felt before.
Take away he who can see us
You need to listen to me now. You, reading this account I’m posting. I don’t know what these creatures are. I wish I did, because then, I might have some way of fighting back against them. I don’t even know what they fully look like. I’ve only seen their eyes. And their clawed hands. The only thing I can deduce, is that they are incalculably old. Centuries old. Maybe even eons. I now understand that those blurs I saw all throughout my life, from the corner of my vision, were them. They’ve lived alongside us for all of humanity’s existence, staying just out of sight. They like it that way. They don’t like us humans knowing about them.
But I know others, not just myself, have likely seen them.
How many strange cases of people disappearing in their homes, with all the doors and windows locked from the inside have you heard about. I know I’ve heard more than a few. And I think I know what happened to them. They saw these creatures. And when they realized the people could see them? They came for them. They wore them down, mentally and physically. Like they’re doing to me now. I’m afraid to fall asleep. Afraid I’ll wake up to see them right in front of me. I feel so weak now. I couldn’t fight them off if I tried. They know that. They knew that about the others. And that’s when they dragged them away….to God only knows where.
I know I'm going to find out soon enough.
Because all of today, they’ve been getting closer. I caught one trying to grab my leg under my desk. That wasn’t the scariest encounter I’ve had. The worst was driving back to the motel. Looking in the rear view mirror of my Starion. And seeing one of them glaring at me from just behind the rear seat. It caused me to nearly crash into a telephone pole. I’ve locked myself in my motel room, which is where I’m writing this. I don’t have much time left. They’re beginning to poke their heads out from everywhere in here. Multiple have popped their heads up from under the bed, watching me frantically typing this out on my laptop. And they’re all laughing at me. Today is when they're going to take me. They know I know that. I can’t do anything more now. I can’t run from them anymore. I’m too tired. Too weak.
But I can do one final thing. I can warn you. I can post this account here as a warning. I know for a fact most of you won’t believe me. And that’s fine. It may even be what saves you in the end.
But please, listen to me when I say this. If you ever think you see something peering at you from around a corner? If you ever catch a glimpse of a black and silver blur disappearing just out of sight? Don’t investigate it. Just ignore it. Tell yourself it’s nothing, and go about with your lives.
Because you don’t ever want them to realize you can see them.
2023.05.29 04:32 Corben11 Got tires rotated and balanced - Now I can't go faster than 50 Mph without Major vibration
TL;DR at the bottom.
Went to get state inspection, figured I'd get it rotated and balanced.
2 days ago I could drive my care up to 90 with almost no vibration, Now if I go above 50 Mph it feels like my tire is going to sheer off from the vibration.
Think they didn't even rotate the tires on the right. there is an obvious scoring on the rim from when I was doing a brake job and nicked it, was still on the front right.
The first time they say he couldn't balance it on one tire, it was off by .02. they added almost 9 weights on one tire the first time, something like 7 ounces he said. The other tires have like 4-6 weights too, look thick.
He told me one of the rims looks warped, it was just installed 5 months ago or so.
I knew it was a mistake asking jiffy lube to do it, but I thought how could they mess it up and while I'm here for my state inspection.
---
I went back today and the assistant manager went to balance them and he was getting reading of 1.0 and 9.75 on one tires and getting 0 - 5.5 on another.
Another guy was telling me, nearly yelling that it was my fault and I need new tires and its cause I let it be out of alignment. The tires have never vibrated or drifted.
If it was that issue, why did it not get fixed after rotating them back?
They "switched" the tires back today and said come back tomorrow for the big boss cause he will be in and can check whats wrong.
They admitted they don't know how to calibrate the machine and can't tell if its all wrong.
What do I do? could they have messed my tires and rims up? I have another appointment with a different shop to balance them. but could they have messed up my stuff?
Tires are 20k in, suppose to be 40k life. I replaced the rotates like 5 months ago and the brakes about a year ago. I never go to mechanics cause this stuff always happens and do all my own work normally.
TL;DR; 2 days ago balanced jiffy lube balanced my tires and maybe rotated my tires, now CRAZY vibration at 50 MPH, feels dangerous at 60 Mph, had to get off the highway right away. Did they mess it up? They are trying to blame me.
submitted by Corben11 to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
Went to get state inspection, figured I'd get it rotated and balanced.
2 days ago I could drive my care up to 90 with almost no vibration, Now if I go above 50 Mph it feels like my tire is going to sheer off from the vibration.
Think they didn't even rotate the tires on the right. there is an obvious scoring on the rim from when I was doing a brake job and nicked it, was still on the front right.
The first time they say he couldn't balance it on one tire, it was off by .02. they added almost 9 weights on one tire the first time, something like 7 ounces he said. The other tires have like 4-6 weights too, look thick.
He told me one of the rims looks warped, it was just installed 5 months ago or so.
I knew it was a mistake asking jiffy lube to do it, but I thought how could they mess it up and while I'm here for my state inspection.
---
I went back today and the assistant manager went to balance them and he was getting reading of 1.0 and 9.75 on one tires and getting 0 - 5.5 on another.
Another guy was telling me, nearly yelling that it was my fault and I need new tires and its cause I let it be out of alignment. The tires have never vibrated or drifted.
If it was that issue, why did it not get fixed after rotating them back?
They "switched" the tires back today and said come back tomorrow for the big boss cause he will be in and can check whats wrong.
They admitted they don't know how to calibrate the machine and can't tell if its all wrong.
What do I do? could they have messed my tires and rims up? I have another appointment with a different shop to balance them. but could they have messed up my stuff?
Tires are 20k in, suppose to be 40k life. I replaced the rotates like 5 months ago and the brakes about a year ago. I never go to mechanics cause this stuff always happens and do all my own work normally.
TL;DR; 2 days ago balanced jiffy lube balanced my tires and maybe rotated my tires, now CRAZY vibration at 50 MPH, feels dangerous at 60 Mph, had to get off the highway right away. Did they mess it up? They are trying to blame me.