(Note: this is the second half of the story. Will link the first half shortly)
The two teens both looked toward the front of the room. There was a gray sphere. Hovering in the doorway.
But if you asked Marc, it was an annoying gray sphere. And it hovered in the doorway like an absolute rustnut.
Marc wasn’t sure where on the sphere to level his disdain. The whole dumb surface was the same all over. It was a series of interconnected, translucent hexagons. Stupid yellow lights blinked sporadically across its many faces—for no apparent rhyme or reason—perhaps just to further annoy Marc.
An electronic voice called out from the sphere. “Did I hear muuuuuusic?” he asked. “Before that last plasma burst?”
Marc shot Sid a glare that could kill. But the big blue alien didn’t back down.
“Last impression. Remember?” he told Marc before going toward Tōn-E with a brimming, sharp-toothed smile and arms extended. “Tōn-E! Glad you could make it! Come on in.”
On the inside, Marc cringed. He mostly tried to forget that Tōn-E walked (hovered?) the same Levels as them. Tōn-E represented the most self-destructive habits of the Outpost. The only features of the city indifferent to survival.
But Tōn-E was all too real. He entered the room like a ghost in a nightmare.
“I am also happy to be here,” he said. The faces of his sphere randomly lit up as he spoke. “I otherwise had no plans for tonight. Because the planet is set to explode.”
“Yes, I’ve heard,” Sid joked.
“I approximate it will only take a few more—hold on. What is this??”
Tōn-E spun slowly in the air. The side previously facing Sid rotated toward the ceiling. When it reached the top, a spotlight shot toward the ceiling—right where Sid’s door had slotted in.
The spotlight stretched horizontally across the door until it resembled a straight line. This line swept back and forth across the raised door. It moved as if he was cleaning it.
“I don’t believe it!” Tōn-E said. “What an exquisite painting. A remarkable addition to your growing and ever-expanding portfolio, Sid.”
Tōn-E finished his scan of the painting. His expanding spotlight shut off. And he re-centered himself to face Sid.
“Aww, shanks,” Sid said. Each of his right arms latched onto the bends of the left ones. “You really think so?”
“Of course! There are colors here I’ve only seen named in the logs. You have tastefully incorporated /#FF00FF: a color our ancestors previously referred to as ‘magenta.’”
“Yes! That’s right! I was going for ‘magenta!’ You really think I did it?”
Marc looked down to hide his face. He rolled his eyes. Magenta. He would have loved to tell Sid how much he liked it too. But Marc had spent his years surviving, not studying colors in old, useless historical archives.
Sid and Tōn-E continued their snooty, pretentious discussion.
“I made it mixing legblee blood and just a liiiiiiittle bit of groundwater,” Sid said.
“That was a very clever! Allow me to save your painting to my internal memory.”
“Really??” Sid’s cheeks greened a little.
“Yes, I will review at a later time when I am both unable to view the original but would still like to once again be inspired by your clever and skillful hands.”
“Tōn-E, I—I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”
Marc simmered in his anger. Stupid Tōn-E. Always ruining things. Making them about him and his dumb, endless archives.
“I am perhaps only more impressed by your chosen ensemble! Do my eyes perceive veritable Lenorkian armor?”
The talkative orb whooshed toward Sid. It began revolving around him like an annoyingly-attached moon. As his exo-orb hummed excitedly, Tōn-E rattled off his useless knowledge of antiquated armor.
“Snorp-resistant spiked shoulder caps?!” He spun around Sid’s midsection. “Triple-layered chest plates?!” He dropped closer to the floor. “Anti-gravity shin guards made from the rare lenorkium alloy?!”
Tōn-E giggled as he orbited Sid. His laugh disturbed Marc. It sounded like a space rat being strangled in the bowels of an undersea air vent.
Sid could hardly keep up with Tōn-E’s flying. But he looked happy with the attention. “Yeah! I’m told this suit was built for the Frost Ring wars,” he said. “It never got used.”
Marc continued to not engage. He slunk deeper into his shawl, folded his arms, and sighed.
“I don’t believe it!” Tōn-E said.
He backed off from Sid, flying back toward the doorway. He turned on his spotlight once again. It now stretched over Sid’s body. “Saving! Saving!”
Sid wasted no time posing for the occasion. He flexed all four arms and gritted his snaggling teeth. His irises turned a deep red and his two small horns protruded from his forehead. Tōn-E was overjoyed. “I did not think I would ever have the chance to record your agitated state,” he said.
I’ll show you an agitated state, Marc thought to himself.
“I’ve got a relic you’re going to love,” Tōn-E said. His tiny sphere filled the cave with noise. But it wasn’t Tōn-E’s usual metallic voice. The sound came from another species entirely.
“GwwwwwwuuuhhhAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!”
His orb played an intense, ear-shuddering roar. The recording may have been slightly fuzzy, but Marc knew the source. It was unmistakably Lenorkian.
And like the gears in a drill, something appeared to “click” inside Sid. His eyes widened. His armored chest expanded. And he joined in. But Sid’s roar was… authentic.
“HRRRRRRRRRGAAAAAAAAHHHHH” he blasted out of mouth. Marc’s entire rib cage vibrated uncomfortably.
It spooked Marc. Igniting some primal desire to escape a dangerous predator. That was a feeling he never felt around Sid. He didn’t like it.
Sid himself even looked embarrassed for a second. Something he’d kept suppressed had slipped out. But Tōn-E turned up the volume on his recording. And with a cautious smile of someone nervously breaking a rule, Sid matched it. And then some. The two bellowed together. It was enough to make Marc queasy, although it was unclear whether it was due to the vibrations or Sid bonding so much with Tōn-E.
The roaring continued. Their talking continued. Tōn-E went on about Sid’s armor some more and his people’s valor and the hardship his ancestors must have faced.
“Usually I keep this stuff stashed away,” Sid said to Tōn-E in his soft normal voice. His horns had retracted, and his eyes had returned to normal. “These are shameful pieces of our history. Truly. And with a people I never really fit in with. But tonight, it just felt right to wear it, you know?”
“I understand completely,” Tōn-E said. “It is in these end times that we gravitate toward those traditions that were so much of what made us feel alive in the first place.”
The statement made Marc want to hurl. He didn’t want to entertain such stupid notions. But the gremlin rotated to him next.
“Hello Marc! Did you find any good junk today? Any new additions to your scrap pile?”
Marc seethed. “I didn't scavenge today, Tōn-E. There wouldn't be any use. It's the end of the universe.”
“That surprises me. Humans love their junk and doodads.”
“Yeah well, we don’t have to cling to the past, do we? Not like that ever saved anyone.” He hugged his wrapped arms even tighter, tilting his body away from Sid and Tōn-E. His cold shoulder ended the conversation.
Sid picked it back up. “So Tōn-E, do you, uh… drink?”
As it turned out, he did. Tōn-E accepted a cup of fludge. He held it with a robotic arm—one that had suddenly extended from his exo-orb. Tōn-E’s orb whirred as the center of his “face” sprouted a grotesque, needle-like proboscis. It poked outward like a long nose.
This straw extended into the cup he held. Tōn-E sipped the fludge like an insect sipping nectar (whatever those two things were; the Archives were spotty).
Sid waited with anticipation. Then Tōn-E’s sphere shuddered. The fludge must have reached the insufferable little creature on the inside. “Scrumptious!” he said.
Marc sighed quietly to himself. For some reason, he thought the night would have made a turn for the better if Tōn-E had hated it.
“Two for two!” Sid pumped three victorious fists into the air. He grinned as Tōn-E’s straw dipped into the cup once more. The straw made a little slurping sound.
“My taste buds are tingling!” Tōn-E said.
But the big cup was too much for him to finish. He returned the mostly-full drink to Sid. And his robotic straw receded to his exo-orb. Sid of course finished the cup, slurping up the remaining pool of fludge.
“So…” Sid said. He wiped his mouth. “Should I put some tunes back on?” He pointed over his shoulder to the idle vent. Then he looked across his two guests for an answer.
Marc shrugged. He didn’t care about anything anymore. Next to Marc, Tōn-E bobbed excitedly.
“Oh, yes!” he said. “One reads about concepts such as scales and measures, but it is entirely different to actually experience them with one’s own body!”
What body? Marc thought to himself. And what were the other things Tōn-E had mentioned? Something about… measuring… dragons?
He studied the cave floor while Sid skipped to the vent.
“That’s what I’m talking about!” Sid said. “Get those Level 7 legs ready!” He tugged at the creaking cover once more.
It came off easier this time. With a pop! the storm above returned to the cave. Its natural melody filled the room.
“Woooooooo!” Sid raised his hands again and walked back toward the other two.
Tōn-E mimicked him with two twig arms.
But the music didn’t have the same magic as before. The beats were stale. And Marc found himself unable to ignore the sting of the sand pelting his face. He lifted his shawl over his mouth. His voice was barely audible.
“I’m sitting this song out,” he said.
The other two didn't seem to hear him. They were facing each other, waving their arms sporadically against the air current.
Marc didn’t care. He grabbed his unfinished drink from the kitchen. Then he searched for a place to sit.
He found a couch, just in front of the dancing aliens. As he took his seat, his bottom started to sink into the sofa. The tarp covering the couch crinkled.
He tried guessing the material underneath it. Clay, maybe? He pondered the question while watching Sid and Tōn-E figure out dancing without him.
“This is how Marc was doing it before!” Sid said to Tōn-E. His four arms fanned across the breeze.
But he got everything wrong. His arms whipped around the wind, not with it. And he was thinking too much about his next move, as evidenced by his scrunched brows. But the greatest offense of all was his midsection: his hips and legs stayed in place—as if someone had threatened them.
A part of Marc wanted to get up and show him how it was done. But another part wanted to see Sid fail. Realize the effort was futile. Give up on bonding with Tōn-E. And kick the Sphere of Useless Facts out of his house.
“Am I doing it right, Marc?” Sid asked while each of his arms flew in a different direction.
“You look great!” Marc replied. He took a long sip of fludge.
Tōn-E, on the other hand, did his best to replicate Sid. He waved his skinny arms erratically. It almost made Marc laugh; Tōn-E looked like he’d been set on fire.
But in all, the whole thing was awful. A bad impression giving birth to an even worse impression.
And they didn’t seem to be enjoying it much either. Despite Marc’s glowing endorsement, Sid and Tōn-E danced themselves to the brink.
Sid kept losing his balance. He tried to keep up with the music but flung himself too hard in any one direction. And every time he made a misstep, he’d let loose an acidic snarl. Tōn-E grew frustrated as well. Every few seconds, he simply froze. His exterior lights would blink red in error. As Marc had hoped, the two “painting pals” quickly ran out of steam.
The dancing halted altogether. A tired Sid returned to the vent and hoisted the grate back onto the vent’s mouth. The music stopped.
“I’ll just turn it down for a minute,” he said. He adjusted a dial on the grate. The metal slits creaked open. And a muted sandstorm flowed through them.
The music reflected the overall energy in the room: depleted. Sid secured himself two more cups of fludge before joining Marc on the tarp couch.
Tōn-E followed his lead. The little troll took a seat too, which meant hovering over the last open spot on the other side of Marc.
The boys took a minute to relax on the couch. They sat quietly while the plasma storm above the Outpost boomed and cracked.
Well, Sid and Tōn-E relaxed. They chugged down another couple cups of fludge and floated quietly over the couch (respectively). Meanwhile, Marc continued to be annoyed. He considered stepping outside and climbing to Level 1. Offer himself to the plasma storm a few hours early. The non-stop hum of Tōn-E’s exo-orb goaded him further.
Brrrrrrrrr!
Did it really have to make that noise?
Marc didn’t think the afternoon could get any worse. And then it did. Because Tōn-E’s insufferable humming suddenly quieted. And that only could have meant…
“Oh!” Tōn-E exclaimed, “I know what we can talk about!”
Marc braced for impact. His nails dug into his knees.
Don’t you dare, he thought.
“I read the most interesting fact about cats today!” Tōn-E started.
Not again, Marc thought. Absolutely NOT again. His fists trembled with rage.
“Did you know cats were the central deity across ten different ancient civilizations? The trend started with humans, of course, but the religion quickly spread across the galaxy as interplanetary travel became more widely available.”
“I actually didn’t know that,” Sid said, entertaining Tōn-E’s ridiculous theory. “Where did you find that?”
“The Archives! They have somewhat documented this phenomenon. You see, it was a common practice to capture footage of cats, even in their sleeping state. They were so important to these cultures that even the most mundane moment yielded significant reason to capture and worship them. If you want to see, I can—”
Marc had had enough. He slammed his cup down on the floor and flew off the couch.
“—SHUT UP. SHUT UP ABOUT CATS!” he shouted. He swung back around to face the other two. “CATS AREN’T REAL TŌN-E! AND THEY WERE NEVER REAL!”
“That’s enough, Marc!” Sid clenched his teeth.“Don’t start this.”
Marc returned fire, “I didn’t start anything; that was YOU. Going behind my back! Inviting more of these… fairy tales!”
His emotions overwhelmed him. He didn’t know whether to yell more or start crying. He did both.
“It’s the end of the universe!” he said as tears streamed down his face. “We can’t keep clinging to the things that brought us to this point in the first place! All these stupid traditions are the reason no one’s even here with us now! IT KILLED THEM ALL! And anyone stupid enough to keep believing in them is—"
“—I said THAT’S ENOUGH!” Sid growled. Marc didn't care.
“NO!” he said. Then he looked back at Tōn-E. “NONE of what you’re seeing in the Archives is real! The data is corrupt! It’s ALL CORRUPT! And CATS are just another dumb fairy tale to keep people like you going, while…”
He ran out of steam. He realized there was no more “going.” In fact, there was no time remaining in the universe for anything. But that didn’t diminish his animosity and anger toward the world. He glared down at the gray sphere. His chest heaved.
Meanwhile, Sid kept a cooler, bluer head. He too looked to Tōn-E, but with compassion in his eyes.
Tōn-E didn’t immediately respond to either. The only sound in the room came from his exo-orb. Well, the exo-orb plus the ladle on the counter, which suddenly blooped into the big pot.
All eyes were on the atypically quiet alien, whose hexagonal faces began to light up.
“I suppose,” his voice trailed, “that cats may not have been real after all. You said it yourself: records are foggy. They’re all from thousands of years ago...” He sighed. Tōn-E’s lights transitioned to a new blinking pattern. “And I also suppose… that I should have been more mature about interpreting error-prone information in the Archives…”
“It's okay, man,” Sid said. “I like that you dream big.” He reached across the couch to place a comforting hand on Tōn-E. But Tōn-E floated out of reach.
“I understand my presence here is probably upsetting,” he said. “You two have a special bond. I should not have interfered with it in its last moments. I will go.”
“No, Tōn-E,” Sid said. Each pair of his hands met in front of his chest “Please stay. You have every right to be here too.”
“I should go,” Tōn-E said. “I will spend the rest of the evening focused on real things. And because I will no longer be here, I suppose it will be the perfect opportunity to review Sid’s art so I can feel inspired for the end times.”
He slipped between Sid and Marc toward the doorway.
“No, don’t!” Sid called after him. “We should do this together.”
But Tōn-E had already vanished outside.
The Lenorkian, hand extended, waited for Tōn-E to come back. But the floating sphere did not reappear in the doorway.
And that was when a low trill emanated from the couch. It was coming from Sid’s his chest. He looked up at Marc, glaring. He bared his pointed teeth. His horns reappeared. And his eyes flushed with scarlet pigment.
Yuh-oh, Marc thought. About half his prior anger evaporated. Fear of a fight took hold.
Marc didn’t exactly dislike his chances. Lenorkians may have been stronger, but Sid wasn't a fighter. Marc was.
But Sid stuck to his morals.
“GET OUT!” Sid shouted.
Marc reflexively jumped out of reach. The short hop sort of ruined his show of anger. But he was still boiling mad. After all, fifty percent of him hadn't abandoned the cat grudge.
“Fine!” he shouted back. “Have fun exploding alone.” He whipped away to the exit.
The party was finished now. He almost stopped and went back for his fludge. But he didn’t want it anymore either. He just wanted a nice end of the universe with his friend. And now the end of the universe was ruined.
At least the apocalypse outside was behaving predictably. Marc stepped into the adjacent cave corridor. He surveyed the damage outside, looking through the long, horizontal gap in the cave wall. As the experts had predicted, the plasma storm took its toll.
The canyon glowed eerily bright, despite it being evening time. The wind howled as it raced through the canyon. And the cliffs around the gorge flashed white and pink as the storm charged with electricity, preparing to make its final jump.
Lightning cracked toward the ground. Some of the bolts hit the opposing cliff, sending rubble deep into the gorge. A gentle tremor rumbled in the ground beneath him.
The plasma storm overhead only creeped further around the planet. As the canyon brightened, shockwaves coursed through the entire city. They threw Marc off his feet again. He hit the ground.
Behind him, thunderous clacking erupted. The sound of falling rocks filled the corridor. He flipped over to see what explosion had thrown him.
It was bad. He stopped breathing. Because he could no longer see Sid’s home. All he saw was a pile of rubble.

Totally new to this, would love critique on my first chapter. Give it to me real. I want to improve: this may just be a hobby but I love it!
What you see on Page One.

Read Seekers, until daytime fades to candlelight, For magic is found when ink breathes life to parchment, When bookbindings break and cradled words take flight. It’s the safety of cozying up near the warming hearth, And the rising steam from a wellworn mug It’s that smile when you turn the page in delight. 

That cool little quote thing before a chapter starts that gives you background.

West of the Citadel Clouds, Bordering Mountain Pines and fickle Seashine Lies the renowned Port Cardica Where sailors sing and blight-born orphans dream. 

Chapter 1
A Slip Away from Death
Like most boys, Jake chose snoring in the pews over memorizing the Church’s proverbs. A clear mistake, he realized, as the Pastor's warning that “prayer follows danger” proved true. Hanging precipitously from the cliff’s edge, Jake recited every Creed he could remember in a futile attempt to appease any watching Gods.
“Prosper in his light, heathentry outside his sight,” he prayed, feet kicking in a desperate search for better footing.
It was a stowaways’ stanza, a tenet meant to share wisdom in ways the thickest of Port Cardica’s orphan dockboys could understand but, like most doctrine, its religious meaning was lost in translation.
Instead, the impoverished boys interpreted it as a practical warning to keep their heads down. Everyone knew the city’s Nobles revered the Book and claimed their prosperity was proof of Gods’ favor. Of course, beggars knew better: one downward glance at them revealed the decay fueling Cardica’s burgeoning wealth. Still, the poor learned to philosophize quietly. Someone was to blame for the hoveltowns, bird droppings, and penetrating seafood stink, and it better not be you.
For his part, Jake blamed himself. If he’d scaled the cliff wall with just a bit more care and a bit less haste he’d never have slipped. Instead he’d been forced to violently slow his descent, bruising bones and trading skin for friction on the vertical slope. It wasn’t a graceful maneuver by any means, but it beat falling hundreds of feet into the freezing current below. Thankfully, years as a guttersnipe had honed his reflexes – his gangly arms lacked the strength of a Swordsquire or the coordination of a Majpupil, but his daily dance with starvation demanded nimble fingers and quick wit.
That experience wasn’t paying off. As Jake shuffled his feet around to find better purchase, his hands slipped on the accruing condensation from the ongoing manastorm. His grip flagged, then failed, and he had neither the magic nor the strength to escape the weight of gravity.
“It isn't written, it isn’t written” Jake recited frantically as he began to plummet. The other dockboys would laugh at his superstition, but he didn’t care. Many claimed the Creeds were lucky, and Jake desperately needed some luck. Instinctively he spread his arms out as wide as possible, hoping to extend his reach and grip onto something.
By some miracle, It worked. The resounding sound of cloth ripping accompanied Jake as he slammed into the stone cliff, teetering to a stop. He hung like a rag doll, held up only by the hem of his matted, brown tunic; the cheap weavings had snagged and torn on an outcropping of stone.
“Aughhh” he mumbled.
He had survived, but everything hurt. Looking down to inspect the damage, Jake saw that his calloused hands were raw and pebbled, but a quick flex confirmed he hadn’t broken any fingerbones. Breathing a sigh of relief, he gasped at the telltale sting every kicked streetrat knew so well.
“Po-Poet’s hand,” Jake swore.
He grabbed the cliff wall to stabilize himself and, seeing as it had worked so far, continued reciting the few Creeds he could remember. A minute passed before he was able to think clearly, but slowly Jake got his breathing under control and continued his self-assessment.
Overall, he felt like things couldn’t have gone much worse. His cracked ribs hurt and continuing the heist would only exacerbate the damage, leading to scarring or permanent hobbling. Jake had seen many dockbeggars with similar injuries from fights or beatings, unable to walk straight without being plagued by the stitchers cough.
For this reason alone, Jake briefly considered giving up. He quickly dismissed the idea – it might be madness to continue climbing in his condition, but he’d come too far to back out now. He’d planned this heist for months, obsessively pathing his break-in while waiting for a night when security would be light. In retrospect, he’d been a fool; his overly cautious preparations left no possibility for a second attempt before his 15th birthday.
No, despite his injury tonight was still his best hope to successfully steal a Scriptors’ Grimoire before Binding Day. Failure would mean enslavement as a Ruddite or worse, full Automation. He’d just have to trust the windy weather to mute his movements and the harvest moons to light his way.
So, teeth chattering with cold and fear, Jake resumed the ascent. His ribs sang in agony as he put one hand in front of the other, slowly turning small divots into handholds, footholds and leverage. Each bouldering movement made him wince, but over the years he’d honed the art of turning sweat and grit into capillary action. He’d had no other choice; richmen shared a passion for building impenetrable estates, forcing thieves to develop an unshaking hand at scaling them.
Five painstaking minutes of climbing later and Jake regained his original position. Salty sweat matted his brow and stinged his eyes but he persevered. He blinked slowly to clear his vision and shuffled his feet left over right, shivering his way across an inch-wide protrusion. Just a few meters above him stood the lip of the granite outcropping and access to the marble fortress built upon it. Jake tasted copper as he bit the inside of his cheek in anticipation – If the heist went well he’d finally change his destiny and be able to swear upon the Sermon’s Book on his own terms.
But first he had to finish the climb. He knew the manor’s sentries rotated hourly, eyes glued to the sky as they watched for flyingmen and attacks from above. He also knew that all these guards would be literate, but none especially gifted. After all, no one powerful enough to be a Writer would stand watch over another man's fortune. The chartered Maji Wordlings, on the other hand, could easily detect Jake if he hadn’t planned for them in advance. He chose tonight because it was the season’s Lenting, meaning the majority of Maji would be in communion until the sun rose.
“What is written” a gruff voice proclaimed, startling Jake.
It was muffled by the wind, so it took him a moment to realize it was coming from directly above him. Jake craned his neck and peered up; to his horror he could see the silhouette of a guard's shadow on the cliff wall.
Petrified, Jake hugged his body to the cold granite, hoping the darkness of the windy night would hide his form. His entire plan hung on the simple thesis that in a world of magidetectors and magflight, no one would expect an unbound to scale the walls. Great in theory, but what if a guard just happened to look down?
“Is Foretold and Forbidden,” another voice chanted, completing the customary greeting. “All safe on the watch?”
“All is safe and silent, as usual,” the first man grunted.
“Don’t sound so upset,” the second laughed. ”We chose this job because it’s easy, remember? No more treading through the mud, no more war with those blasted barren beasts and their infernal warlocks.”
“That’s true, althou..”
The men’s voices were swept up in the wind as they paced further down the stone perimeter. They hadn’t seen him, but, just to be safe, Jake stayed low until he could no longer hear the stamping of metal-toed boots on stone. Then, fingers white and aching in trepidation, he waited another 30 seconds.
Finishing his count, Jake peaked over the edge. It took all the courage he had earned as a thief and every bit of boldness he had learned as a beggar, but he managed it.
The coast was clear.
Jake carefully pulled himself over the ledge before falling into a crouch. He looked around and exhaled painfully, releasing a breath he had not realized he was holding.
In front of him lay an outdoor walkway culminating in a rippling fountain circumscribed by five basalt pillars of progressively increasing height. Everflowing torches adorned each of the columns and burned despite the rain, casting rings of golden light throughout the open atrium. At the foot of the fountain rose a gold-leafed speaker's lectern, a pure white sculpture of the Sermon Book chiseled open upon it.
Jake stared openmouthed at the power radiating from the fountain before abruptly coming to his senses. Without a doubt this artifact was a Magisma, an extremely expensive construct meant to amplify its controller’s magic. Leaving it outside was a casual display of wealth and power meant to shock and impress, but Jake didn’t have time for that.
Instead Jake blended into the shadows cast by the monument as he sneaked his way across the grounds. After passing the walkway the torchlight dimmed considerably, forcing him to hobble his way in the dark. A bright flash startled him, but the acid smell of tobacco that accompanied it indicated the guards he’d seen earlier were smoking to pass the time. Realizing they were distracted, Jake sped up and almost tripped on the jutting crystals of an emerald rock garden. Embarrassed, he paused to listen for anyone approaching.
Everything was quiet except for the constant pitter, patter and hiss of rain from the manastorm. It seemed his home-invasion had so far gone unnoticed, but the hair on Jake’s neck rose. An unsettling feeling of being watched set in and every few seconds he reflexively looked over his shoulder.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, he made it to the Manor wall. Keeping to the shadows, Jake hid behind the tallest thing he could find; a towering yellow flower with leaves the size of platters that he had never seen before. Staying low, he muddied his knees and toes on the damp ground, but thankfully the foliage protected him from the rain. As his eyes adjusted to less light, Jake noticed all sorts of exotic fruits surrounding him; blood red berries in the shape of teardrops levitated inches off the ground, while turquoise bubbles floated up from vibrant greenery, collapsing quickly into little orange stones that looked remarkably like candy. Jake’s belly growled at the idea of tasting these treats, but he dismissed his urges. Stanzas warned that “those who leave riches unread become starving men” but Jake knew hunger well. He would jeopardize his mission by eating something that might make him sick tonight.
Instead, he focused on gaining entry to the manor. Searching his surroundings, Jake located the iron front doors about 6 meters to his right. They were guarded by life-like statues on either side, one a Korai of the Poet, hand outstretched in greeting, the other a two headed wolf, with both snarling maws crying out to the moons. The door itself was blacked with age and inscribed by a massive oval spellwork that glinted in the light cast by a hanging lantern.
Listening closely, Jake groaned at the buzz of silverscripting coming from the insignia. Every thief knew that spellworks grew more powerful over time, and anything audible would be too powerful for any Unbound to lockpick.

The soldiers lined on Ardenholms beaches. Their bright, jewel encrusted armor flashed brightly in the glaring summers sun. The warriors were eager to get on with their game of conquering and subjugating. They were Ardenholmites, Humilauians, and Pommedorans, as well as Tuberite religious warriors hailing from Solanum. They were gathered in Ardenholm to prepare for an imminent invasion from Veritas and their leader, BB.
Ardenholm, Humilau and especially Pommedora were in open rebellion from BB. They thought of him as a tyrannical leader, levying heavy taxes and other unreasonable demands. They finally decided to declare themselves separate from BB, but the turmoil quickly devolved into a fight for control of the entire island chain.
Pommedora was a Tuberist nation, so they called upon their Solanarian brothers to help the fight. The Tuberists, thinking it would be an easy battle, happily joined in.
As the Tuberites made the short voyage to Pommedora, tensions arose. There was an attempt to reestablish diplomatic relations which quickly broke down, resulting in a raid from Veritas on Pommedora, their closest neighbor.
The Tuberites arrived far too late to join the fray, but fortunately the raid was mostly scared off before any real fighting could occur, and the casualties were 6 in Pommedora, after a single arrow barrage and 8 Veritasian raiders who brought their boat too close to the walls and were sunk by a well placed explosive firework.
Thus began an alarmingly fast arms race. Both sides were on islands, so a full force invasion was not viable…yet. Seemingly overnight the once windswept and backwater islands in rebellion turned to industry. The once salty and warm air choked with the smoke from the flames of fires roaring in their mighty hearths. Peaceful and sunny harbors because overrun with heavy bots of war.
Veritas kept pace with the industrial might and the islands were equal in strength. Both bought mercenaries to fight, but Veritas gained a significant upper hand by taking a hefty loan from bankers overseas and buying much better metals than could ever be reaped from the earth on the barren island chain.
Finally the mines were depleted of what little resources they could muster. Though bright earthen metals were occasionally still warm from being melted and pounded into their molds.
With no more brawn games to play, both sides made a quick shift to mind games. Spies. Spies everywhere. In the streets. In the factories. In the harbors. Everywhere. Private conversations became public knowledge overnight. The town square of Ardenholm ran red with the blood of those suspected of treason.
Next came the starvation. The already small fields had been neglected because the farmers had been made to become factory workers. This time, the rebellion got the upper hand, with the Tuberists providing food from their vast fields back in Solanaria. Veritas attempted a naval blockade to stop the shipment of food from arriving. The Tuberists didn’t slow down. The naval commander ordered them to hold. The Tuberists, already very near to the maximum pace, almost appeared to speed up. Finally they stopped just outside of cannon range. They waited in a locked stalemate for 3 days until the Veritasians ran out of water and were forced to return to port. Thus, they spent the winter on meager rations and had to sell some of their newly bought steel to pay for food.
Finally, after a long and cold winter of light eating and intense stare-offs, the spring blossomed in the remaining fields.
The Veritasians had survived the winter by the skin of their teeth and knew that they could not survive another winter. This years winter had been astoundingly warm (by West Phagosian standards). In fact, this was the warmest winter ever recorded.
Over on Pommedora, which at this point had been established as the capital, the situation was almost as grim. The Tuberists, who were creeping up on a years time spent on an island were becoming increasingly obstinate and downright treasonous. They longed to go back to their homeland, and run on green fields, with gently rolling hills bordered by lush, fertile marshes, encased by the great mountains far to the west, just where the eye could see them. They downright despised the cramped island.
Tensions were starting to boil over on all sides of the war, until finally the spy game did its job. The Pommedorans received definitive proof that the Veritasians would be sailing for a “surprise” attack on Ardenholm in one months time. This was the break they needed and with this knowledge they could easily win the war.
Under the cover of darkness they began to very slowly and methodically ship soldier to Ardenholm. They arrived on mail boats and pleasure crafts, in wine barrels and tiny crude rafts. Simultaneously, these same craft evacuated the women and children, bringing them safely to Pommedora.
Then, the day before the battle, an idea was had. It was decided that instead of defending the city they should go on the offensive while the opposing military was away. The idea was they would go quickly to Veritas and slay BB, and then swiftly bring his head back over to Ardenholm where his army, seeing that they had nothing to fight for, would surrender.
There were problems with this plan, though. The entire army was already on Ardenholm, and Pommedora was still the closest island to Veritas, so it would make no sense to keep an army anywhere but there. Also, the ships would probably sail right by each other on their way to conquer their respective islands.
“None the matter with these details” said the commanders, “This plan is too good to pass up.”
And thus we pick up where we started, with the solders, armed to the teeth, sitting in the early morning sun, waiting for their boats to take them to Veritas.
They boarded and set off. 1/10 of the army was left behind to There was nothing but excitement as they lost sight of the shore. The soldiers were tremendously confident in their plan.
The boats sailed for 38 minutes without interruption.
Suddenly, a lookout sounded their horn. The soldiers instantaneously switched from their excited and eager chatter to silence as they looked on the horizon, expecting to see a fleet of opposing ships.
Instead they saw a tiny island. Barely even an island. More like a sad sandbar. The entire island was completely covered in Veritasian troops. They were all standing on the island, their bodies facing the fleet. They were all watching the fleet sail by.
All wielded a dull blue trident, the color of cold and drear ocean
Then one, the commander most likely, stepped forth and walked slowly to the edge of the shore, about 10 feet. He stopped at the edge and dipped the pronged fork of his trident into the water
Not a single eye strayed from his trident as it leapt to life. It’s dull and sad color replaced by an electric blue. The blue started from where the water touched the prongs and snaked down the trident at a decently fast pace.
Then he did the most unexpected thing of all, and fell face first into the water. All eyes remained on where he fell. The seconds ticked by. 15. 30. 60. 90. Was he dead? 120. Then at 133 exactly he sprang from the water. His right hand clamped so tightly around his trident his knuckles were bleached like dead coral. He sailed 50 meters in the air, well above the masts of the boats, and about 150 meters towards the boats.
Then his army all seemingly sprang to life and walked swiftly to the waters edge. It was a trap! They didn’t pause for dramatic effect like he did, diving headfirst into the water and sailing through the air with almost no delay.
The archers attempted to ready their bows but the boats were already packed tight with men, horses, cannons, and all sorts of equipment of war.
The tridenteers sprang forth and plunged into the ocean like rain. A hundred a twenty, they numbered. They rapidly began closing the distance. The archers pulled back their bows and waited for them to get into firing range. They quickly closed in. Finally, they were in shooting distance and they fired. None of the shots struck. In fact, none even came close. The soldiers were simply too small to hit accurately, especially from a rocking boat.
The tridenteers then passed overhead, and did the most unexpected thing of all. A few reached into their pouches and pulled out a single gray stick about the size of a baton. They then dropped them.
All of the tridenteers possessed 8 of these sticks, so most waited until they had clear shots to drop. A few thought they did right then, and threw their sticks towards the ships.
All except one missed. It was tremendously hard to fire accurately while trying to dodge projectiles.
The one that didn’t miss sailed down, down, down until it landed barely on the port side of a medium sized Humilauian cruiser. The wood of the boat was no match for the explosion that rang out. The front port side was torn. The water spout produced from the explosion went 15 meters into the air.
The ship sank in 2 minutes.
Immediately it’s neighboring boats turned sharply to rescue the screaming survivors. The tridenteers passed about a kilometer away from the boats before veering to the left and turning to made another pass.
The ships were thoroughly spooked, and most moved to do evasive maneuvers.
Suddenly, three powerful horn blasts rang out. This was the sign to press forth. The ships readjusted course to fan out, but 9 blasts rang out, the sign to stick together.
A second pass was made with 2 ships sunk. Another pass was made, but no ships were sunk. Than another with no ships. Another with 1. Another with 1. Another with none. This continued until 87 passes were made. There were 137 boats in total at the beginning, 7 large, 38 medium and 94 small. 93 remained. There were 4 large boats remaining (the 3 that were sunk had been sunk at the very beginning), 15 medium boats, and 75 small boats. Almost all of the surviving medium and large boats had tied themselves together with rope and formed a sort of floating pontoon. This greatly increased the sailing time, and a journey of 3 hours took 6.
Not all of the ships that were lost had sunk. Of the 19 small boats that were not present in the final fleet, only 2 had actually been sunk.
There had been a sort of mutiny aboard some of the smaller boats after the 8th pass. 2 of the 7 large boats had been hit and were sinking and the situation was looking very dire. In the rear, 9 of the small boats and 8 of the medium boats (the medium boats were the very end of the fleet) all mutinied against their captains, with three being stabbed to death and one being cast into the sea and turned around back to Ardenholm. Watching them sail away nearly caused the entire fleet to break apart but they were guided by a common foe.
A few of the boats lagged behind. 4 medium boats couldn’t keep pace due to being non-fatally struck and turned around. The tridenteers were given orders to at least damage the ships heavily enough to force them to turn around, so they allowed those ships to flee.
3 small ships, in an interesting turn of fate, were nearest to the islands when the bombing started. They were the ones who had sounded the alarm. The tridenteers had passed over them entirely without dropping a single bomb. They were still horrified watching the preliminary carnage before the ships could form up, and decided to run themselves aground on the tiny island the Veritasians had started out in.
They hid under the 6 palm trees for 8 days, not knowing anything about the status of any of the nations. They survived by eating the horses they had brought and drinking the wine they had brought which they were going to celebrate with once the island of Veritas was conquered.
Finally, after 6 hours, the boats sighted Veritas. The midday sun was high in the air and the archers could not see the trident wielders through the sun, accelerating their losses.
Veritas looked abandoned. The alarm has been raised but very few troops were on the walls, looking very frightened.
The soldiers let out a halfhearted cheer upon laying eyes on the island. The Veritasian tridents veered right after the fleet made their way into the smooth natural harbor.
The tridenteers had only lost 11. 7 from lucky bow shots, 3 from the binding from their wrists to their tridents slipping off, and 1 stupid soldier who tried to land on a small boat and was instantly slain.
The boats neared the docks of Veritas. The harbor wasn’t much of a harbor at all, only having a narrow wave-breaking sandspit that only extended past a third of the docks.
The boats made passes towards the docks, with some soldiers being so desperate to get off of them they leaped from the boats and swam to shore.
The boats all started to unload as normal, with horses being placed on the shore and equipment to breach the great gate of Veritas being unloaded
Suddenly the great gate of Veritas, which was expected to be a large obstacle swung open and half of Veritas’s army (still a formidable number mind you) roared forth, banging their shields, and sprinted at the unprepared rebels.
This was not expected at all, and no precautions for this had been taken. The rebels on the beach all turned to run back to the boats when, alas! The tridenteers reappeared from out of nowhere behind the boats. They hurtled towards the crafts, flying much more recklessly now, and dropped their bombs. The boats were not moving or fighting back this time and 8 were struck.
In the same run, 47 of the tridenteers dropped their explosives on top of the docks, blowing all except two up. Those two would be decommissioned in the next run.
This mostly stranded the peoples on the shore, whose only option now was the rowboats from the large ships. Some ran towards those but right then the charging army from the gates slammed into those on the shore.
18 rowboats were cast off, from the beach and the rest were not able to and were scuttled. The battle for the beach was a terrible situation for the rebels with them being completely pinned against the sea.
The battle lasted 15 minutes. There was no command from any officers due to most still being present on the boats. No definitive line was formed up and many men swam out to sea to try to wait out the slaughter. Most men threw their weapons on the ground and begged for mercy.
1/6 of the seaborn army was slain and 1/6 of the army surrendered on the beach, totaling 1/3 of invasion, or exactly 642 men.
The boats tried to leave the harbor but all tried to leave at once and a few collisions occurred. The boats that made it out were harassed by the tridenteers the entire time. A few tridenteers were observed landing on the decks of boats and stabbing sailors as they tried to get the boats under control before running away
To top it off, the winds were blowing in an awful direction and most of the boats were blown far to the right. They nearly crashed into an unwalled peninsula. The horn of orders was silent because the ship they were on had taken a direct hit and was rapidly sinking. The commander of the entire operation, on that ship, had died instantly in the blast. The entire senior commanding force had migrated to that boat during the trident harassment because it was centrally located and the safest option. None of the senior officers survived, as the bomb quite literally split the ship in two, and as they were gathered midship below the upper decks they had either been torn up from wood splinters or went down with the ship and were drowned.
Due to the lack of orders, all ships had their own idea of what to do. Most of them thought that the wind was far too unfavorable to set into open water so decided to land on the peninsula. About 1/3 decided to try the winds and sailed in various directions to various islands. This time, the tridenteers could harass them all they wanted and most would not get far. One tridenteer was assigned per boat, which ended up being a large blunder on Veritas's part because most were out of ammunition and could not do any damage.
Those who landed on the peninsula were met with an immediate problem. Unloading. Most of the men jumped overboard to swim to shore and some ships went completely unmanned before being either sunk or captured by the opposing force. Some men who didn't take of their armor were weighed down by it and drowned. The same happened for the archers, who's quivers filled completely with water instead of arrows, and if they were unable to get the quiver off they drowned.
There was one final factor that was at play. The peninsula itself. It was very long and narrow. So narrow that a tridenteer could safely jump all the way over it without being dashed apart on the rocks.
A single tridenteer sprang fourth. Their bright blue trident electric against the sky, which was growing progressively cloudier. They reached into their pocket and pulled out one of the sticks. They lazily let it go before safely landing in the water on the other side.
They didn’t even have to aim. It exploded on the top right corner of the peninsula and some were caught in the blast.
The other tridenteers followed suit. There were only 26 archers still armed as almost all of them had either abandoned their gear or were weighed down by it trying to swim over.
The entire peninsula was scourged. The walls extended to the beach on either side, and the coast became far too treacherous and rocky to swim around.
40% of the entire army was slain on the peninsula. A further 20% (of the men on the peninsula) surrendered and only 19 men escaped. 9 on a rowboat that was let go because of its irrelevance and 10 somehow survived the swim around the walls and ran up the island before stealing a sailboat and escaping.
Those that turned around and fled immediately suffered casualties, but not to the scale of this. About 5% of the army died on the sail back from getting picked off. Most of the tridenteers ran out of ammunition.
A grand total of 67% of the army perished in this advancement. A further 14% surrendered and of those, 1% died in prison from disease or starvation. 1,531 men in total lost their lives.
As for the boats, of the ones that made it to Veritas, none of the large ships survived, 4 of the medium ships made it back (2 were captured, 9 sank) and 29 of the small ships made it back (38 sunk, 8 captured). Of the 18 rowboats that were on the beach during the initial beach attack, 15 landed on the peninsula, with the other three rowing all the way to Pommedora.
Those that escaped ended up on all manner of islands in the surrounding area. One boat drifted with only one man on board for 8 days. He too survived off of horseflesh but also was lucky enough to get rainwater.
The other half of Veritas’s army had taken a longer route to Ardenholm. Ardenholm somehow managed to pull off an astonishing victory, despite being outnumbered 5-1. They were helped by the crew that had mutinied initially. They made use of their thick walls and used a turtle strategy to wait for help, until after 24 hours when they realized that something had gone seriously wrong they then went on a sudden offensive catching the Veritasian army completely by surprise because they had grown used to not being shot at.
The Ardenholm fighters used bows and a ridiculously large pile of arrows to shoot at the invaders non-stop until they finally gave up and went home. They were significantly hampered by not having the other half of their army. Both sides suffered relatively minor casualties, with Ardenholm losing 19 men and Veritas losing exactly 100.
Veritas lost 58 of their 120 tridenters, with the vast majority being lost by flying too close to the boats and being shot with arrows. Interestingly, 82% of those that landed on boats to stab individual sailors would perish. Their army suffered a loss total of 329.
This defeat left the rebels in shock. Their entire standing army had been effectively wiped out. They would start having to recruit younger men and paying more for mercenaries.
The Tuberists had taken the highest casualty rate, with an unimaginable 80% casualty rate and 16% captured. Only 4%, or just 16 men on one small boat, which they never left, managed to make it back. When the elder potatoes learned about this, they were understandably shocked and devastated and justifiably withdrew all future support to the rebellion. They claimed that the Tuberites had been used as cannon fodder and that that was an stupidly high casualty rate for a defensive mission. They had lost every single one of their ranking officers they had sent on that mission and demanded insanely high rates of compensation. It wasn’t until the battle was thoroughly explained and they were promised that all the islands would convert to Tuberism that they agreed to help once more.
The defeat didn't spell doom for the rebels, but would certainly go on to hamper their future efforts.
And that is the story of one of the worst strategical blunders in Stoneworks history.
This story is based around the truth. Ardenholm was indeed attacked by Veritas and BB after rebelling with Pommedora and Humilau. The Tuberists did indeed help out for religious reasons. There was indeed a failed charge counterattack which was poorly planned and the casualty numbers are accurate if you combine the dead and captured and just consider them all dead. The Veritasians did indeed use tridents to pick most of us off, and I myself died. This would have easily cost us the battle as we lost 80% of our total gear and didn’t really have enough time to make a proper repot. We used the good old 0-armor-stone-axe-rush strategy and only won because they placed capture points underwater which is illegal. So yeah the next battle is in a week (I think) and we have a LOT of grinding to do haha.
Also Stoney hmu if you ever want any scriptwriting help. I love to do this.
If you read this far um gg I guess
- lnedible

Hello reddit! Did my title catch your attention? Cute right? I’m somewhat of a funny guy. Punny and attractive? What a score right? Ok, so I mean I’ve lurked for a while and sent some messages out but now instead of me sliding into y’all’s dms, you’ve got the chance to slide into mine!
Now a little bit about me? I’m a guy who’s far from got his life together! I’m definitely laid back, I have a general “go with the flow” attitude 80% of the time. I don’t sweat the small stuff, and hope you don’t either. I enjoy the finer things in life, like reading, writing and art! I’ve got an artsy side to me and can definitely show it off if you’re interested! Like most guys my age im definitely into video games and comics! Xbox and pc are my main platforms and I’ll fight over the dc vs marvel argument all day long. (DC is better)
I work full time in a bar, and I enjoy it but mostly im looking for a career change here soon. I’ve got a few ideas on what that’ll be but I’m oh so indecisive about that. Im also fairly active. I love playing soccer and hiking around on trails and in state parks when the weathers nice! Im definitely a mountains guy to a beach guy, winter is by far my favorite season. Can’t beat a nice cozy night snowed in with a warm fire. My dream one day would be to own a little homestead, with some animals and a nice little slice of paradise where the woes of the world won’t find us, sounds nice right? Im fit and I work out, so that’s something we can do together if you’re interested! My mom tells me I’m handsome so that’s a plus right?
Ideally what I’m looking for? Friends first and foremost. If we vibe, I’d love to move off reddit to somewhere that I get consistent notifications. Let’s be long term chat partners. If the connection is there and we both agree, maybe we move forward from there? Let’s build a life together? How fun is that? I don’t really have any real dealbreakers. Location, age, body type, race, etc. As long as we get along and there’s a mutual attraction, I’m coolio. Height is definitely something I find attractive in a woman. I’m 5’8 so like, if you’re taller I’ll swooon. I’m also generally attracted to people much older but neither are dealbreakers by any means.
So if you read this far and like me even ever so slightly shoot me a chat or DM, I’m waiting to hear from yoooou! :)

Hey all, another question- a few really. Buckle up, this one is gonna be big.
So, to clarify some prior posts, I work in a level 18 office in SoCal (not clarifying further for plausible deniability anonymity reasons). Four routes, three PTF clerks (FTF position in arbritration), and a LOT of problems. Those being, we only have two RCA's, one is on medical and fighting labor to even get treatment while the other is 6-days acting regular on an overburdened (~49hweek K route + DACA-5 every week) route.
So, a good few things: I was an RCA before, and thus have the training to run routes. I've done so for our Auxi before, and have not been appropriately paid for the mileage- but am not sure if it's viable for eTravel as it's personal vehicle delivery. At this point, I'm wondering if I'm even allowed to deliver routes, not just express- I've not gotten a straight answer when asking more directly.
My Postmaster is currently out on medical, he had a massive surgery and has been out for a good few months as is. We had an OIC come from, way away, and was doing genuinely fantastic work and fixing things that were long standing issues. Unfortunately, HIS home office practically imploded for something only a month in, his MPOO pulled him back to his district, to my knowledge. As a result- it's just us clerks, and the occasional nearby postmaster coming in for reports we don't have access too. We're doing CSAW, DCV, DMS, things that I'm fairly sure we're good to do, but some other ones- Scheduling, even giving instructions (instructing to pass instruction to carriers or other employees), feels like it's way sketch.
Yesterday we had a full route vacant due to callout- I called eight neighboring offices near and far, but with Saturday being a popular K-Day, there's jack squat available to come and cover. I'm there at like 2:30 AM on another postmaster's suggestion due to having a heavy and unexpected late UPS/Amazon drop yesterday afternoon, and it's enough it'll impact carrier time if trying to do my normal arrival times. (Note: All other clerks are otherwise indisposed on saturdays, I fly a solo ship and was told there MAY be relief later in the day if a nearby clerk in a single HWY route office gets done.) So, crap's hitting the fan, there's a whole route just fusterclucked, another one with a fairly fresh RCA that's gonna get in past 1800 as is. Eventually, I pull a big trigger- I contact District on another Postmaster's reccomendation (unsure why they didn't do it themselves, since I'm a PTF clerk...). I've never seen both my personal phone and hotline blow up so fast. Every postmaster nearby I had contacted is wondering what is going on- mind you most of them were told the details of my MIA route risking full failure to deliver- and others from farther offices immediately offering help later in the afternoon if I'm willing to case the mail (which, at this point to avoid being in a HUGE hot seat I am willing to do.) I'm already catching huge professional but passive flak from my Boss, but he's on medical, frankly should be resting- as well as the fact that he's not even hooked to the office in terms of accountability right now. The long-gone OIC is. I have postmasters telling me I made the right gut call- it was either being on the radar for requesting Aid on a level over what I usually have to (but with my hands otherwise tied), or get in trouble in one of three ways: Go into major OT (14 hr+ knowing my time on that route) and leave a lot of mail undelivered in PO Box, and fail integrity for all the PO box parcels and see if the RCA can help and get us both less overtime with the same PO box issues, or say 'not my problem' and end up on a big red flag list for failure to deliver- with me being the one that made the call to just not deal with it. Rock, meet hard place, meet blast explosives. It's already causing major friction with coworkers who hate being on anyone's radar, let alone district level management- fair enough.
How much of this am I realistically even supposed to be doing? I'm not getting paid OIC/EAS17-18 rates (technically no supervisor position here) rates, I have access to some head clerk tools and such, but by no means any supervisor, timekeeping or leave input, any of that. I just make the schedule, cover a vacant route with other RCA's as I can, and dangit if I don't do it WELL too, this being the first major issue, though one I was dreading to come inevitably given staffing issues.
What doesn't help either is that our steward is very much barely doing anything, and the actual rep is radio silent on myself and other clerks, same for the Rural rep. Glad I didn't join either of those, thank god.
Guess my questions are really: How much of this should I not be touching with a 0.5 mile delivery range pole? What calls am I on the hook for, given that I've only been verbally told what things to do, and that I'm a kinda, a standing scheduler? Was my call way too overboard, or was making sure it got done while doing a proper CYA with the call/communication a good call? Any other input would be, greatly appreciated. I just find myself anxious as hell about what's going on above my head, while still performing these duties.
Semi-related: I've also been informed though, that if I want to be put at a nearby city office to train back end OIC/Sup, I may well be offered it considering what I've been doing came to light in a big way today. Yay? Thank y'all for reading, and thanks ahead for any input. Ask any questions, I'll answer to the best of my ability.
Edit for TL;DR: Doing a LOT of things that I have no clue if I should be/if its above my pay grade, had a major incedent or so it seems, and seeking reflection and advice.

I made a post yesterday after completing the campaign which I'm not very proud of. I came off elitist and shat all over the game without giving any good reasons or evidence. Now that I've had some time to think and gather my thought I can lay them out here in a more organized way for any ARPG fans who haven't bought the game yet and are considering it. This post is meant purely to inform, so if you already bought the game and are enjoying it, keep enjoying it and move on. No need to be a huge blizz fanboy and argue with me over what I am right now making very clear is my own opinion.
Some background on me - I've spent 1000's of hours playing an assortment of ARPG's including but not limited to D3, POE, Grim Dawn, and Last Epoch. I'm no expert on the genre, but I'd say I've got enough experience to give an informed opinion. I'm breaking down my critique into several sections, that will sometimes overlap and may seem redundant, but that's only they all influence each other to create an overall feeling of "meh" for me while I'm playing.
1. Power Level
Enemy scaling is fucking terrible. Some people love it - esp the casual crowd that's touting how great the level scaling for co-op is. I'm not a co-op player. I do ARPG's solo and other people are there purely for trading. So this monster scaling for me is shit.

• You never get the power spikes we're all used to in other ARPG's. There's no better feeling than going from feeling like you're shooting little bolts of nothing out of a wet noodle, to feeling like an ultimate god who's blowing up packs like nothing. This just doesn't happen in D4. I always felt like it was taking the same exact amount of time for me to kill enemies. Fucking lame.
• This goes back to itemization. Never did I in my entire playthrough switch one of my items and actually feel stronger. Maybe I was killing things like a millisecond quicker, but never was it like "whoa! that's fucking sick".
• This is the same for the skill tree. Never did I take a node on it and feel significantly stronger.

2. Player Autonomy
It seems like Blizzard created this game for a very very very casual crowd. I knew that going into it, as D3 was the same way, but I feel like they went even further this time in taking away any meaningful level of control the player has over how they play the game.

• Gave us force move, but only make right click available from level 3. Why? Why can't I have move on my left click and attack on right click right from the start.
• No layover map. They say this would take away from immersion. I'm pretty sure pulling up a full screen map every few seconds does that even more. If there are players who feel it takes away from immersion, they don't have to use it. Give us the option.
• The skill tree. Skills in D3 had 5 options to choose from. If you map the old D3 skills on a tree, like you have in D4, and look at it that way, we actually have less choices now.

3. Build Customization
Diablo was never known for deep mechanics, but it seems that D4 has even less choices when it comes to making viable end-game builds.

• The terrible generatospender system for skills. I played a Sorc and even at level 50 was still having to use the basic skill constantly. Long ass cooldowns on half of my skills, and terrible mana regen, and high mana costs for other skills. It just feels clunky. This forces any build that doesn't want to constantly use a basic skill to stack CDR, Resource Gen, and RCR on every item that can roll it. People will say that this gets figured out for end-game. So what? Do I wanna be running around for the first 10+ hours of the game with a gimped character. And should I have to stack all those affixes on every item just to get a decent build?
• In addition to the affixes you're basically pigeon holed into using specific legendary aspects and parts of the skill tree to further help with this resource generating problem. If you don't, be ready to constantly cycle between basic skills and core skills. FEELS LIKE SHIT.
• I haven't gotten to Paragon Boards yet, but from the looks of it they're just a slightly more complex version of Paragon Points from D3. There's nothing build defining about them. You just keep adding stats and multipliers to what's already a pigeon holed build.

4. Time Wasting Aspects
Luckily the devs made it so that you can skip the campaign after you complete it with you first character, but what about seasons? So I have to do this slog all over again every time?

• Not well thought out mechanics. There were dungeons in which I had to bring two of some item to some pedastels and both were pretty close to each other. Guess what? I could only carry one at a time. Other dungeons I had to run to the end of a super long hallway to just talk to some NPC, and then run all the way back to another area with no ability to teleport out. Tons of this running around pointlessly thhroughout the campaign that could have just been done away with.
• Why are MMO's leaking into Diablo? I'm not some fucking gatherer who wants to pick plants and stuff rocks into my pockets. I'm here to kill monsters and get more powerful. Why the fuck did they take the worst parts of Lost Ark and throw them into D4?
• The camel quest. What the fuck was this? Following around some idiot with a camel for 15 minutes through a desert? Like really?

5. General Grievances
For a game that took so long to develop there's a surprisingly large number of bugs and little things that should have been caught in testing, or at least during the open betas.

• Sorc teleporting into walls and rock formations
• Only thing painful about the Duriel fight was not being able to see anything from half of the arena
• Many other areas where the environment completely blocks your view
• Gems - don't gotta say anything more

In conclusion I wish I could get a refund on the game. There are so many better options out there for me at the moment that I can't see myself spending any time on D4 unless they make very significant improvements, but I'm not hopeful. Does that mean it's a bad game? No. A lot of people are enjoying it and maybe you will too. But if you have similar ideas to mine as to what makes an ARPG exciting and fun then I'd not dish out the money they're asking for.

hello. my name is chloe LA CROIX. yes folks. my last name is actually lacroix (dont look that up). i am a descendant of french people 😞. but this isnt about me. its about daniel. dan the man, danny boy. i had a dream about him and kurtis a few weeks ago and i have to say. it was unpleasant yet also very pleasent. i was at shoppers drug mart (canadian drug store lol) buying my special no no bum creams and dr pepper that i drink out of a cat bowl, and i saw danny. it was odd because i know hes a american soldier, fighting in war. i wonder why hes here in canada. itsprobably the dementia, i thought. nonetheless, i stare him down. we lock eyes. he charges at me with full speed and rips out my ears. he says "why are you in my home country, fella? you smell very canadian to me." in a thick texis accent. i say "danny, your in canada." he stops and starts violently crying like a baby. i am so flabbergasted that i pick him up and rock him to beddy bye bye time. then kurtis comes over because hes also a maple syrup drinker (all canadians know eachother) and we whisk daniel away back to the homeland (america) and he fights more people in war. anyways thats my story of how i met dan the man 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅 goodbye gregs.

Double Or Nothing 2023: The Elite vs. Blackpool Combat Club - Anarchy In The Arena
After months of BCC making the Elite’s life miserable, the factions finally go to war. After a long and bloody battle, Bryan Danielson and Hangman are left in the ring, the American Dragon waiting for Page to get up so he can stab him with the screwdriver once again. But as Bryan runs at him…KENNY OMEGA RUSHES IN TO BLOCK! As Omega has Danielson’s arm hooked, he stares first at him, then to his partner Hangman, nodding. Kenny quickly hits a Dragon Suplex, Bryan falling back to the ropes. Kenny sees his chance, following up on it with a V Trigger, and as Danielson groggily gets to his feet…HANGMAN SPRINGBOARDS INTO THE RING, HITTING BRYAN WITH A BUCKSHOT LARIAT! 1…2…3!
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Despite the Elite beating BCC, Omega encounters more obstacles moving forward. With Forbidden Door approaching, United Empire make frequent appearances on AEW television, with Will Ospreay having won the #1 contendership to Omega’s IWGP United States Title. The encounters between the Elite and United Empire slowly go from more verbal to physical blows, with the latter having the numbers game regularly until Konosuke Takeshita joins the action, seemingly siding with the Elite.
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Forbidden Door: Will Ospreay vs. Kenny Omega (c) - IWGP United States Championship
Closing the show, Ospreay and Omega go at it in quite the spectacle of a contest. There are times where Will seems to be fueled purely by his own ego, trying to win with both a V Trigger and a One Winged Angel, but Kenny kicking out in both instances. However, by the end of the grueling contest, Ospreay puts aside his pride. He runs at Omega, the commentators expecting another V Trigger attempt…ONLY FOR WILL TO RUN PAST HIM, BOUNCING OFF THE ROPES AND HITTING AN OSCUTTER! Ospreay isn’t through there either, quickly getting Omega up and hitting the Stormbreaker for good measure! 1…2…3!
Will Ospreay def. Kenny Omega to win the IWGP US Title
As Ospreay celebrates his victory, Kenny slowly rises to his feet. He looks at Will, and just as it looks like he might extend a handshake…BCC blindside Kenny! Yuta, Claudio, and Mox all pounce on him like a pack of wild dogs, with Danielson staring down Ospreay, daring him to do something. Will leaves, but appears reluctant to do so, staring at the attack with a perturbed look. Hangman, the Bucks, and Takeshita come rushing out to make the save, and it looks like the Elite’s evened the odds…UNTIL TAKESHITA LOW BLOWS PAGE! This gives BCC the chance to control the assault, capped off with Bryan passing Omega out in a LeBell Lock.
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After a horrible night for Kenny, he finds himself with nothing left to lose. Despite an unfavorable numbers situation, he and the Elite aren’t afraid to go after BCC, specifically Konosuke Takeshita (with Callis accompanying him). Callis looks at Kenny as the past, whereas he’s going to mold Takeshita into being the future of this industry. This ends with Callis putting forth a challenge, leading to…
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All In: Kenny Omega vs. Konosuke Takeshita
Kenny sets out to prove why he’s up there as still one of the best wrestlers on the planet. Despite Takeshita looking like a formidable threat, it’s Kenny who’s able to topple the younger star, a One Winged Angel into a pinfall while flipping off the ringside-bound Callis sending his message loud and clear.
Kenny Omega def. Konosuke Takeshita
After the match, Danielson, by himself, attacks Omega, grabbing a mic and saying Kenny’s pathetic and unable to handle even a one-on-one situation. However, his words are soon cut off by what sounds like a golden entrance theme…IT’S KOTA IBUSHI! The crowd in Wembley roar as Ibushi has officially made his AEW debut, staring down Danielson and helping Kenny to his feet, the Golden Lovers officially reunited.
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Following this massive moment, Omega and Ibushi would challenge BCC to a tag match at All Out, with Kenny trying to goad Danielson into being one of the participants. It ends up working, with Danielson and Moxley stepping to the plate and looking to end this nostalgic comeback story before it can begin.
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All Out: Golden Lovers vs. Bryan Danielson and Jon Moxley
In a match featuring four of the best wrestlers today, it’s an absolute war from start to finish. Moxley does a lot of the dirty work, fighting off both Ibushi and Omega while Danielson comes in at more opportune moments. Near the end, Ibushi is able to rock Danielson’s world, but before he can hit a Kamigoye, Mox tags back in. And while Kota and Kenny pick up the win following a Golden Trigger on Moxley, Ibushi looks almost disappointed, staring at Danielson with a look that screams wanting a match.
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From there, Ibushi enters more of a singles program with Danielson, BCC and the Elite factoring less into it as a singles match for Full Gear is set-up. Omega goes on to fight in the AEW World Title eliminator, reaching the finals against…
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Full Gear: Kenny Omega vs. Darby Allin
In a dream match, Omega and Darby put on a clinic, showing the spirit they both possess with countless dives and plenty of strong spots. But in the end, Omega continues his solid streak of matches since losing the IWGP US Title, defeating Darby to challenge the winner of Hangman vs MJF…WHICH PAGE WINS!
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At Winter is Coming, Hangman and Omega put on a war as they have before, with Page managing to come out on top. However, the Elite soon find themselves in a perilous situation, with BC Gold coming after them. Jay White is able to dethrone Hangman at Revolution, sending him spiraling down, but leading to Omega trying to redeem his friend’s effort. Unfortunately, the Era of Switchblade is upon us, White defeating Kenny at Double or Nothing and leaving the Cleaner to once again try and fix himself and come back stronger than ever.

The AEW world championship just had one of the best matches in its short lived history and I want to keep it strong for the next year.
Forbidden Door- MJF vs Kazuchika Okada The match is a spectacle with Okada’s moves being stolen by MJF ‘who can do then better’ and arm work to set up Salt of the Earth, but ends with a Dynamite ring shot while the ref is down into a Rainmaker Clothesline onto Okada but it’s only 2! The king of last second kick outs does it again. As MJF sets up for the Heatseeker, Okada pushes him away and takes the champ down. He hits a real Rainmaker Clothesline, only just too close to the ropes. Okada scales the rope in homage to Tanahashi, but MJF gets height on a drop kick. From the top, he hits a Heatseeker to spike Okada for a win.
Fyter Fest Night 1 Furious he has to defend on night 1 instead of night 2, MJF comes up against Bandido. The Mexican superstar powers Max around the ring, holding him in a Suplex for almost all of Picture in Picture, totaling almost 100 seconds straight. After this, however, The Salt of the Earth almost breaks the challenger's arm and he’s forced to tap. After the match, he gets a mic and talks about him being the money maker of AEW and how he was disrespected by being on Night 2. However, he’s given a challenge on Rampage for Night 2.
Fyter Fest Night 2 MJF vs Shawn Spears From their time in the Pinnacle, MJF tries to get the perfect 10 to lay down for him, only to get an 11 in response from each hand. Spears is valiant in his fight, though the ref is out eventually so Max swings a chair but gets it caught. Finally, the Chairman has a chair in hand and hesitates to use it. He eventually drops it though, only to get a low blow. MJF grabs the chair and uses a Heatseeker on the chair just in time to get a pin.
All In- Wembley In the weeks leading up to All In, there are cryptic messages about the World Title going through the pipeline. On the night, on the video board the cryptic messages reveals: PAC. In Wembley, Pac enters second as he starts the match with a quickly pump kick and a Brutalizer to almost take the win quickly. The match is about Pac trying to quickly and efficiently ware down in his home country while Max does everything to stop his momentum. Once Pac goes up goes up for the Black Arrow, he takes too long to set up and MJF gets up and actually hits a Spanish Fly. Later, Max rakes the eyes to bring Pac into the ropes for a Heatseeker. He locks in Salt in the middle of the ring. Despite his best efforts, Pac passes out in the middle of the ring.
At Grand Slam in Long Island, Max beats John Silver who has the support of Dark Order and Hangman to channel his inner Brody. At Full Gear, he beats Miro who steps up as the one to Redeem AEW from the tyrant. However, he loses as a result of two Dynamite Ring shots. Finally at Winter is Coming, Khan brings up the final boss of AEW.
Winter is Coming MJF vs Kenny Omega. The last Dynamite of 2023 with the past and future of AEW going at it for the belt. With Kota Ibushi by his side, the Golden Lover makes Max survive 2 V-Triggers early on and hits back with a collection of slams and an AA to mock the fans. He hits a Rainmaker Clothesline on Omega and a Style’s Clash, and even after a Buckshot, Kenny stands tall. As Kenny sets up a OWA, Max rakes the eyes and sends Omega to the ref to check his eyes. As he does, Max grabs the Diamond Ring. But, Ibushi is there to stop it! As the ref comes to take him off the apron, Max is caught in a OWA! The ref is distracted for almost 10 seconds before he comes over for the pin and MJF kicks out of the OWA. As Kenny argues, Max locks in the Salt. He wrenches it hard before it looks like he snaps Omega’s arm. That causes him to tap immediately. MJF says he’ll be leaving AEW in January with the belt, but Tony Khan again comes out. He says that MJF’s contract requires him to work every major PPV he’s asked to. On December 31st, the last Sunday of the year, AEW Battle of the Belts will be taking place for the first time on PPV. All AEW titles are on the line, with MJF defending his belt against the heart of AEW…
Battle of the Belts MJF vs Eddie Kingston The brawler from Yonkers takes his time to beat the shit out of MJF. When MJF hits a Diamond Ring, Eddie eats it and takes another before falling to the mat. However, he’s out at 2. MJF gets Salt in and even snaps it back like Omega, but Kingston won’t tap. He’s on the edge of passing out but holds strong when checked. He fights his way up and gives MJF his own dirty tactics with bites and claws to fight back. He has to hit two Urakens and an old school American D to finally fell the beast that was MJF.
In 2024, MJF secures a small extension for a chance to win back his title at Beach Break in February, but he must fight at each show before then. On the way him and Eddie cut scathing promos but at Beach Break in New York, MJF is gone either for good or for a bit. To round out the year, Eddie retains against CM Punk at Revolution but falls to the King of Black Malakai at Double or Nothing.

I haven't seen a lot of resources out there that break down the Necromancer ability tree in a manner geared toward minion-primary builds. Plenty of guides, but those focus on talents taken, not talents passed over, and most of them are really bone spear or corpse explosion builds with a minion framework. This is written from the perspective of someone looking to be a full-on summoner. My overall thoughts on the tree are at the end.

Basic Skills

There are three worth looking at here, as Bone Splinters adds nothing significant to a minion build (a chance for vulnerability is just not enough to count)

• Decompose. By far the strongest option without gimmicks. It is Darkness (which is relevant later), spawns corpses every 2.5 seconds (needed for healing/resummoning skeletons), casts from range (which is where you want to be), and Acolyte's Decompose gives a 10% damage boost to your minions. All in all, this is a very strong start to the tree.
• Reap. Also Darkness. Spawns a corpse instantly with Acolyte's Reap, which is nice, but only does this once every 5 seconds. Also requires you to be in melee. Other than the instant corpse spawn, this is a weaker option than Decompose in every way.
• Hemorrhage. Gives blood orbs for healing and fortify (with Initiate's Hemorrhage). These are fine personal defenses (though there's a better way to get fortify later on), but do nothing for your pets unless you take Transfusion later on, which causes the blood orbs to heal your pets. There are better ways of healing your pets. Also, this is a Blood ability, which is a downside.

Verdict: Decompose by a mile.

Core Skills

Summoner necromancers suffer from a distinct lack of a good core skill. In fact, only two are even worth discussing, and one of those is a passive.

• Blight. This is the active core ability you will take, assuming you take one. It does a hit and creates a small pool-based dot. With the upgrade it slows enemies, and with Supernatural Blight it causes blighted enemies to take 15% more damage. This actually sounds amazing until you realize that (a) the pool is too small for significant AoE mobbing effect, and (b) the 15% damage increase is rendered entirely useless if a boss takes like... one big step in any direction. That said, there are no other good active options here for a pure summoner build.
• Hewed Flesh. Your damage has 4/8/12% chance to create a corpse at the target's location on a lucky hit. Doubled for bosses. While a 24% chance to create a corpse sounds good, it's on a lucky hit. Decompose has a 40% lucky hit chance. This means you have less than a 10% chance to create a corpse per instance of damage. This ability additionally suffers from the "You" language, which means it likely does not apply to your minions. Except maybe it does. Blizzard seems to have gotten sloppy on how they worded their abilities, so "You" abilities might not really be limited to minions.

Verdict: When your only options are bad, take the least bad option. Blight, I guess. This tier isn't great for us.

Corpse & Macabre Skills

We've got a gimme in this tier, and an ability that suffers from the "You" ability wording issue.

• Skeletal Warrior Mastery. Obviously we're maxing this.
• Grim Harvest/Fueled by Death. GH is worthless to us. We're not going to be spending enough essence to need this. But you path through it to FbD, which suffers from the "You" ability language. If (and only if) it applies to minions, it's a free 9% damage increase for them, since you'll be burning corpses constantly for the priest if nothing else. No brainer (again, assuming it applies to minions, which we do not know).

Verdict: SWM is a gimme. FbD is amazing or trash, depending on how the "You" ability language plays out for it.

Curse Skills

This tier has a gimme, a decent skill, and the rest is deceptively bad, but I'll cover why. I won't be discussing Iron Maiden, since I'm not going into a thorns build here.

• Skeleton Mage Mastery. Obviously we're maxing this.
• Death's Embrace. Fine? It's 9% damage reduction for enemies close to you, which is a decent defensive layer.
• Decrepify. This is where things get controversial. Decrepify, in my opinion, is hot garbage. Yes, slow/less damage/etc are great. Its problem: BOSSES ARE IMMUNE. The one enemy you REALLY want this to work on? Totally immune (or at least the ones I've tried it on so far have been). I mean it's good for mobbing, but... ugh. I mean you're not trying to play a piano build here. Making sure everything is hit with Decrepify/Blight, keeping up the priest HoT, and generating corpses with Decompose is just a lot. I guess I couldn't blame someone for taking this for mobbing and using Blight on bosses, except SPAWNING ENEMIES FROM THE SKY OR GROUND ARE ALSO IMMUNE. While they're spawning, they immune out of Decrepify, leading to confusing applications during busy encounters. Ugh, I hate this skill due to the immunities.
• Amplify Damage. 9% increased damage to curse enemies is great, except the immunities to Decrepify also prevent this from landing. Also garbage for the same reasons as Decrepify. Also, it suffers from the "You" ability issue, though I've read someone state that it applies to minions. Again, this is sloppy description writing by Blizzard.

Verdict: SMM, DE. Decrepify/Amplify Damage are fine for mobbing (except for the immune mobs), but they're wasted points when you're fighting a boss. The "You" ability issue rears its ugly head again with Amplify Damage.

Corpse & Macabre Skills 2

More deceptive garbage here, with one real stand-out.

• Necrotic Carapace. This is amazing. Fortify when your skills or minions generate a corpse. Your skills and minions generate a lot of corpses. Fortify will cap very very quickly. A+ defensive ability.
• Reaper's Pursuit. 15% speed when you (not your minions) damage an enemy with a Darkness skill. I mean... ok? That's a very short window for speed, and it's not much speed, considering the window. Additionally, your only hit-and-run Darkness skill is Blight. Hard pass.
• Gloom. When you damage enemies with Darkness skills, they take 2/4/6% increased shadow damage (even from your minions) for 2 seconds. This buffs literally one minion I'm aware of: Shadow Skeleton Mages. For 2 seconds after you deal damage. For 6%. And it takes 4 points (1 in Reaper's Pursuit) to get that 6%. Horribly undertuned.
• Lucky Hit. Darkness skills have a chance to stun for like... 1 second. I mean... fine? Stun is a nice defensive ability, so I guess this has value.
• Terror. Darkness abilities deal bonus damage to slowed/stunned/immobilized enemies. This probably does not help any of your minions, since Shadow Skeleton Mages don't have a darkness tag. Worthless.
• Transfusion. If you took Hemorrhage as a Core Skill, this is why. Blood orbs now heal your minions. Fine, except the next tier has a significantly better way to heal them.

Verdict: Necrotic Carapace is the only standout in this tier, and it's a personal defense. Basically nothing here helps minions unless you're using Hemorrhage.

Ultimate Skills

This is the first tier that looks like it was really designed with summoners in mind. Lots of great stuff here.

• Army of the Dead (and upgrades). Awesome. Worth it.
• Golem Mastery. Gimme gimme gimme.
• Bonded in Essence. That worthless priest HoT is now a monster. Great ability.
• Death's Defense. Caps the health minion can lose to a single swing. Good vs big hitters.
• Inspiring Leader. Stay healthy and your minions get 12% bonus attack speed. Awesome.
• Hellbent Commander. If you're close to your enemies, they deal 10% increased damage. You won't always be close to them, but let's be honest, with all the garbage above you're probably desperate for a decent place to put a point. Here's fine.

Verdict: Great tier, you'll want to max a lot of stuff here.

Key Passives

Fine, but with issues. Only two matter.

• Kalan's Edict. The default choice for good reason. Don't get hit = minions get 30% attack speed. As long as there are no enemies like Wraiths that insta-spawn next to you, and as long as you don't get encircled by spawns, this should have high uptime. Except those two scenarios happen pretty frequently. And reports say that barrier does not prevent this effect from turning off. Ugh. But still, pretty good.
• Shadowblight. Shadow damage gives 10% bonus damage for 2 seconds, including for your minions. Not bad. It's like Gloom, but not nearly as awful. I believe Shadow Skeleton Mages can proc this.

Verdict: Kalan's Edict. Doesn't require constant attacking to maintain and provides a bigger buff.

Minion Types

I'm just going to burn through this one without quite the detail as above.
Skeleton Reapers (2nd upgrade). The universal best pick for warriors. Reapers can now carve off corpses from your enemies. Awesome for maintaining the priest, especially against bosses, and especially when you're running around screaming like a little girl, not casting Decrepify on them.
Skeletal Mages (Bone, 1st upgrade). Cold mages shatter stuff, costing you corpses, though their vulnerability is nice. Shadow mages' stun is nice, and they can benefit from a couple of nodes on the ability tree. But bone mages deal a ton more damage (increased significantly with the upgrade), and your upgraded priest heal (YOU DID MAX BONDED IN ESSENCE, RIGHT?) is enough to keep them going. Even if they die, you're spitting out enough corpses to rezz them, no problem. These guys are absolute cannons.
Golem (Bone, 1st upgrade). The taunt is amazing, especially with Kalan's Edict. The 2nd upgrade is pretty worthless since we're not thornsing. Blood and Iron golems are... fine. Iron looks amazing. But neither has the taunt, and you want the taunt.

Overall verdict

Summoner necros have a few really great talent options. However, there's not much synergy between anything, it's basically all just buffing damage/healing and generating corpses. Too many things apply only to "You" (whether it's actually you or just sloppy wording) and not your minions. Very few worthwhile nodes on the ability tree help out with any specific minion type (literally only Shadow Skeleton Mages seem to get any specific benefit from the ability tree, and what they get is lackluster).

How Blizzard could fix the tree

Looking at the issues above, some specific problems and some general themes emerge.

• Make sure "You" means YOU, not your minions. Apparently at least one "You" skill (Amplify Damage) applies to minions as well. I'm not sure whether to trust the rest.
• Make several "You" skills apply to "You and your minions." Hewed Flesh, Fueled by Death, Amplify Damage, Death's Embrace, and Death's Reach would all become worth another look if they applied to "You and your minions."
• Give us a better minion-centric core skill. Blight is weak due to its small AoE and the fact that bosses will be constantly moving out of it.
• Eliminate boss Decrepify immunity. If you want to make them immune to a specific aspect of it (like the slow, for example), that's fine. But bosses negating Decrepify AND Amplify Damage in their entirety is ridiculous.
• Fix the Decrepify immunity for spawning enemies. Enemies who spawn from the ground or the sky are immune to Decrepify until they start moving or attacking. This is quite obnoxious. If we can attack them, we should be able to curse them.
• Give us SOMETHING in Corpse & Macabre 2. Necrotic Carapace and a couple of undertuned skills that rely on us attacking just aren't enough.
• Make Kalan's Edict permanent, or make it rely on a threshhold. A light tap from an instant spawned enemy destroying the buff is just weird. It's not THAT big of a buff. Additionally, hits fully absorbed by barriers should not disable it.
• Make Skeletal Skirmishers and Defenders competitive with Reapers. Right now there's no reason to take either. The Reapers' corpse generation is powerful and neither of the other skeleton warrior types has anything remotely competitive.
• Just... generally give us more minion-specific nodes on the ability tree. I get that you don't want to buff baseline minions. That's fine. Just give us the option to focus in hard with our ability choices and make them reasonably competitive. Adding some AoE stuff to them would be nice. Maybe give them the ability to curse on hit? I dunno... I'm not super picky here as long as it's actually useful.

One final note: Minion AI

Blizzard. Buddy. I know you can do minion AI. You can! Summoners want aggressive minions. They want minions that will kill stuff on sight. We don't want to have to cast at a group of enemies to make our minions attack. Make our minions aggressive. Make it an ability point if you want. That's fine. Just let me have angry skeleton pets that charge the hell out of whatever they see.
And while you're at it, could you teach my skeleton mages about line of sight? It doesn't do me any good when they unload 50 spells into a wall or a flight of stairs, and I've got no way to tell them to move. Please make them check to make sure they can actually see their enemy before they spend several seconds shooting at it.
That's it. No tl;dr. Minions have some good points, but overall, they need help. Now it's time for me to get to bed before my wife decides to leave me flayed and chained.

How are people getting any enjoyment out of this game? It feels like a mobile tier cash grab with very little to actually do beyond shitty minute long world events at a chance to get a legendary.
Every dungeon is exactly the same, locked door that requires 2 keys on either side and then one of 3 whole boss types at the end. Tired of the khazra demon? Too bad idiot that's the only boss we made. If you thought elden ring areas and bosses were copy pasted you haven't seen a thing kiddo, Diablo 4 doesn't have a unique bone in it's body
Every overworld area is exactly the same, with almost the exact same enemy types in every zone. Outside of fractured peaks those fucking garbage bees that slow you are everywhere, ice clan spearmen chucking their life savings at you are everywhere, and that fucking ghetto lich enemy that has three whole recolors to try and trick you into thinking it's different
World events are extremely repetitive and only occupy you for a handful of seconds at best. Hope you liked killing those channelers or standing on the blood pedestals in EVERY zone
Main story bosses have exactly 0 mechanics. With Astaroth if you just dash out of his fire breath he legitimately doesn't do anything
Builds are extremely limited and feel less explored than ESO of all things. Why can I have more than 4 moves learned if I can only have 4 moves? Why can I swap moves in combat if there isn't a loadout system? I don't want to play menu hero or respec every 30 seconds because my aoe build is worthless single target and vice versa
Even if you try to experiment with builds you can't really go far unless you've already amassed every legendary in the game. Every rogue build aside from twisting blades is WORTHLESS unless you get 3-4 legendaries to support it, and then even if you DO get those legendaries sometimes they lock you into requiring TWO moves of your FOUR to work. Sorry idiot you need both shadow imbuement AND frost imbuement if you want to play with this effect, which means you actually only have 2 damaging moves since both of THOSE moves just enhance your existing ones
Outside of the 3-4 side "questlines" every side quest has less depth than a world quest in wow. Line of dialogue, pick up a rock or kill an elite, get a bag of herbs. Even the questlines that pretend to have a story give fuck all for rewards compared to the shitty jar of souls you see every 10 seconds
The customization is more barebones than games released on the ps2. Why even bother having customization when every hairstyle is shit both aesthetically and graphically? I'd rather have no customization than 3 face options that look near identical. Same thing with the dye system, you have 8 palettes and 4 look like variations of your 4 year old daughter's paint palette when she gets bored and mixes every color together
The music is okay i guess but it suffers in the same way that wow does where it's all just background ambience noise. When I'm fighting demons in the plains I don't want slow violin solo #572315 to put me to sleep
The scaling is complete garbage. It's cool that you can drop in and out with your friends whenever but it seems to be completely random as to whether or not enemy damage and health goes up or down. I'll drop in on my girlfriend's playthrough from time to time and everything will either one shot me or do 0 damage per hit. I'm assuming the scaling is relative to the amount of players in the zone but I can't confirm it. Then you have the level scaling where if you want to do the side content in the first zone you'll be almost level FIFTY before act 2
Why is this an always online mmo? Playing with my 2-4 is cool but nobody wanted weekly massive world bosses in diablo where you can't actually tell what the fuck is happening just because of the sheer amount of bodies. Also oopies we loaded you into a shard where every enemy on the map was killed by another player so the overworld is even emptier than it was before, and it was pretty empty before. Don't forget that if you just afk on a spot where an event pops up someone else can complete it and you'll get full credit even if you don't actually hit anything. You don't even need a bot to farm exp and gear in this because the game is already an afk farm!
There are still dozens on dozens of minor bugs that came from the first beta to live and the second beta to live. Oops you entered a portal and now none of your buttons work. Oops you can't properly preview your transmog because the colors loaded wrong. Oops the entire NA east server is down and you can't manually select to swap so you have to use a vpn. Oops this rare npc cloned itself 4000 times
The first preview of what balance changes look like is unsettling. Outright removing a stat and legendary effect for a class instead of even attempting to make it less overwhelming. This is something blizzard did in Battle for Azeroth with azerite gear and I figured they had learned nobody wants to learn their build and items will be gone or worthless in a week
Lucky hit is a garbage stat that doesn't need to exist. It is literally just extra words to tell you that your procs have a lower chance to proc. There's no reason every item and move needs to have it's own proc rate to proc the proc
Why does adding a legendary effect from the codex cost so much? I assumed the intent behind the codex was to make leveling alt classes easier but it can cost up to 30 crystals which are a rare drop from dismantling yellow items. My alt isn't exactly going to get that right away and by the time he does he'll have said legendary already
Why is renown locked to beating the campaign? Why am I allowed to fully complete everything in the zone if you're going to lock the reward for doing that until later? Having a level cap is okay but it would've just made more sense to lock some of the side content behind levels instead. If you're going to give me rewards for the side content, why are they fucking timegated?
Why is there crafting if it's going to be shittier than digimon world next order? What's the point of picking up shitty ores on the ground when I can get 3x those materials from salvaging a single piece of gear? Why is there such a limited pool of resources when each one has almost no uses?
Why are there even vendors in game? The cost of items is stupid high relative to the actual level of power they give you. After level 30 you'll probably have a legendary in every slot because of how fast the drop rates ramp up, but you want me to drop 200k gold on a ring that's a 0.1% damage upgrade ONLY IF I UPGRADE IT TO LEGENDARY MYSELF AFTERWARD
What's the point of common items and "uncommon" blue items? You barely use them levels 1-5 and then you almost exclusively see yellow items from that point on. You could've removed these tiers and nothing would've been lost. It's not a slow upgrade where you go from unenchanted gear to legendaries, you IMMEDIATELY throw statless gear into the dumpster and forget it exists. Gear rotates WAY too fast even once you get legendaries
Why does every class "benefit" from every stat? I don't want strength or intelligence on a rogue, 40 strength giving me 0.001% energy regen doesn't do ANYTHING relative to a single point of dexterity. Oh just reroll the stat then! Well stat rerolling is also expensive as fuck early and there's one stat per piece you can't actually reroll, usually the stdex/int stat. Don't forget if you do reroll it it's guaranteed the next drop you get will be better anyway
The cash shop. Hoooooooly shit the cash shop. You're asking me for 70 dollars for the game, and then 20 dollars for early access and the battle pass, and you have the fucking AUDACITY to advertise garbage ass fucking gear set cosmetics for an upwards of $25??? One of the druid sets was used in an early gameplay footage demo and you made it a fucking CASH SHOP ITEM? MOST OF THEM DON'T EVEN LOOK GOOD
Why is mounting locked so far in the story? Why are there only horses as mounts in a game about demons and angels? The entire level is scaled so you can do most side content in any order you want but you can't get the best way to travel until too late to matter. By the time it's unlocked you have every fast travel point anyway and since there's no penalty to using town portals there's no reason to have a mount
Why is moving in this game so awkward? Who thought that the button to move should be the same button to attack? Hope you didn't want to run past a single big enemy as a melee because you just fucking magnetized to it. Also if you're holding down the mouse on an enemy when it goes invisible or teleports you just go to the spot it'll show up before it's even there. Kinda pointless to make it teleport or go invisible then yeah? On the opposite hand bosses like Asteroth have such shitty hitboxes that you can be "targeting" him, and under him, but somehow not in range to melee. I imagine this is a little better on controllers at least though
Why do silent chests exist when they're super rare and give fuck all relative to the jar of souls event next to it or just buying a piece outright from the orbol vendor?
Why is there only one type of treasure goblin and why does it seem like most of the time they don't actually drop anything? Forget bad drops I'm talking straight NO drops. You'd think with how far diablo 3 came later in it's life we'd have at least a LITTLE variance
I really wanted to like this game but holy literal actual shit what the FUCK is this garbage? I'd rather go play fucking immortal
I ask again, HOW are you enjoying this slop? Have you just never played a video game before? Do you only get 20 minutes a day so the repetition is less obvious? Are you stupid?
What happened?

Hey, been a while! Took a bit of a break from Reddit and the internet to recover from a really crappy illness and getting my uni & personal life back on track. So I'm back and here to talk about my favorite video game franchise of all time, the Dark Souls series (& the larger Soulsborne games in general).
Now Dark Souls is a tricky franchise to scale. Not only is it heavily focused on lore and statements over visual feats, but said lore, unlike other franchises that heavily rely on lore scaling such as God of War or Devil May Cry, is generally vague unless you search through item descriptions and notice literal background details that you otherwise wouldn't think about. The gameplay isn't helping scaling either when random naked dudes with torches and 20ft falls can nearly kill the player character, causing massive discrepancy with how tough you are in the actual story vs gameplay. As with GoW & DMC, I'm gonna give several interpretations as to how I think Dark Souls can be reasonably scaled and from there you can decide what scaling you'll wanna buy into.
All this said I think after having played every game in the series sans Demon's Souls cause' I'm too broke to buy the PS5 and obsessively watching and rewatching VaatiVidya videos, I think I'm well versed enough in the franchise to give this a shot. So let's get the obligatory...

SPOILER WARNING FOR ALL THREE DARK SOULS GAMES

... and let's get started!

Part 1: Physical Feats

Getting physical feats out of the way, the arrival of The Nameless King in Dark Souls 3 creates a gigantic storm (which we know they're maintaining as the storm dissipates as soon as he's beaten), which has been calc'ed at 471 Gigatons to 2.8 Teratons of TNT. This would be consistent with the fact that Gwyn and the gods overcame and defeated the Archdragons, which would include this random, unnamed, mountain-sized Archdragon that, aside from Archdragon Peak being presumably built to face it, has zero lore indicating it's a special member of its race unlike Black Dragon Kalameet or Darkeater Midir.
Spells and weapons such as such as Sunlight Spear, Divine Pillars of Light, and Price Lothric's Greatsword are all light-based/have light-based attacks that can be dodged after being fired by the player characters.
Besides dragon-scaling, Chosen Undead would scale to this via Gwyn, the God of Sunlight and First Lord of Cinder, beating the Nameless King some time in the setting's ancient history, with the CU beating Gwyn at the end of the first game along with several bosses that possess Lord Souls or fractions of Gwyn's Lord Soul.
So there you have it, Island/Country Level & Relativistic/FTL Dark Souls as our minimum for scaling the Chosen Undead. However it wouldn't be a post of mine if I didn't bring up some ridiculous lore that scales the verse astronomically higher than what most people would assume, so let's go and do that now.

Part 2: The First Flame & The Sun

Now we take a cosmic leap and analyze the claims of Star to Solar System Level DS characters. The premise of this is that The First Flame, the primordial flame that took the world out of the Age of Ancients, sustains not only the world but cosmic objects such as the sun. Now it's not that hard actually to prove the First Flame likely sustains the sun as towards the latter half of Dark Souls 3 the sun transforms into a giant Darksign as the current Age of Fire comes to a close. A Darksign signifies one being an Undead and links them to a Bonfire, which themselves are linked to The First Flame. Dark Souls 2 goes on to imply as well that the Undead Curse is directly tied to the First Flame, possibly by Gwyn linking humanity to it. Additionally thanks to DS3 there are heliocentric models of the solar system that can be found in the Grand Archives of Lothric:format(jpeg)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorusimage/image/50057813/DARK_SOULS_III_20160708103434.0.0.jpg), meaning the verse contains at least one planet and a star, but is possibly a full solar system in and of itself. You can also faintly see stars in the backgrounds of Heide's Tower of Flame in DS2 and Irithyll of The Boreal Valley in DS3, so you could argue potentially Multi-Solar System.
This scales to the Chosen Undead as all Lords of Cinder and candidates to be one have souls powerful enough to link the First Flame and sustain the Age of Fire longer. Some people think that you'd have to divide the energy needed to maintain a stastar system over a set amount of time in order to get the appropriate AP of Dark Souls' player characters by end-game, however that's not really necessary as we're shown in DS3 that snuffing out the First Flame immediately brings darkness onto the world and linking the First Flame can bring the sun back after it's already disappeared.

Part 3: Light & Time

As with the last few times I talked about a video-game series with overly complicated lore, there are indeed arguments for Uni Dark Souls. Get ready, cause' this one is a doozy.
One of the central themes of the Dark Souls series (and the wider Soulsborne games) is that the current age of the world, the Age of Fire, is impermanent. DS3 especially emphasizes the futility of trying to extend this cycle, with what was once a bright, roaring flame that consumed the Chosen Undead at the end of DS1's "Light" ending barely engulfing the Ashen One. However with such focus on the Flame and Age of Fire, people tend to neglect the Ages that come before and after, i.e. The Age of Ancients and The Age of Dark.
The world during The Age of Ancients is described in DS1 as unformed and grey, its only inhabitants being the Everlasting Dragons. DS2 introduces an important item called the Ashen Mist Heart, which is a power coming from the ancient dragons. While on the surface the item description implies that the heart only allows the holder to enter "Memories" of who or whatever it's used on, DS2 treats this as full-on time travel. Not only can items be brought through into the present, but the Ashen Mist Heart allowed the Bearer of The Curse to travel back in time and fight the Giant Lord, who remembers the protagonist in the present day in its form as The Last Giant earlier in the game. Benhart of Jugo's questline further proves this as he clearly recognizes you and acknowledges the progress of your questline with him while inside of a Memory, reinforcing the idea that the "Memories" the Ashen Mist Heart sends you is actually the past. Not only does this power come from the Ancient Dragons, but it's also associated with the seemingly grey and formless nature of The Age of Ancients.
We can go even further with DS2's Scholar of The First Sin DLC and its main addition to the game (besides the worst f**king enemy placements in Soulsborne history): Aldia, the aforementioned scholar. Aldia sought to escape the never ending cycle of Light and Dark and would succeed in guiding the Bearer of The Curse to that goal in DS2's second ending. Now what did Aldia initially attempt to do to reach this goal? Well he looked to the beings who existed before the Age of Fire, the Ancient Dragons. Aldia would perform experiments on dragon-related specimens and collect dragon artifacts. Aldia's Dragon Aerie located past his Keep was also apparently meant to be set in the past, evidenced by the fact that you were meant run into the child version of The Emerald Herald in the Dragon Aerie. In other words power from the Ancient Dragons and The Age of Ancients itself are somewhat removed from time and linear events. It would explain the name "Everlasting Dragons" as their age was truly an everlasting one that ended when the First Flame appears.
Moving onto The Age of Dark and an associated concept, The Abyss. Similar to The Age of Ancients, The Age of Dark is treated as a timeless era. Most explicitly we see this in Manus, Father of The Abyss, who can reach across time. Even discarding the very popular theory of Manus being the Furtive Pygmy that found the Dark Soul, Manus is still stated to be a primordial human, an important distinction considering Agdayne, Aldia, and Hidetaka Miyazaki all state that humanity is of the Dark and that it contains fragments of the original Dark Soul. Moving onto DS3, we get to see an Age of Dark in the form of the Untended Graves, the past version of the present-day Cemetery of Ash. We know this is the past as not only do we fight the past version of Iudex Gundyr, but we receive unique dialogue for interacting with the Firekeeper for the first time in Firelink Shrine after meeting her in the Untended Graves.
DS3's Ringed City DLC hammers this home even further as we're introduced to the end of the world where kingdoms from all eras converge as the First Flame starts to fade. Here we can also find Shira, Knight of Filianore who, after we break her mistress' egg and reach the end of the world, she waits waiting for you to take her revenge. However as some players have noticed, proceeding with touching Filianore's egg and beating Slave Knight Gael in the future leads to Shira not talking to you in the present, when she should have no earthly idea of what you've done. How is this possible? Well part of Shira's lore is that she trapped herself forever within a darkroom and a Pygmy Lord attached to her cross spear. Not only is there the significance of being in a room with a lack of light, but Shira herself is attached to a Pygmy Lord, one of the inheritors of The Dark Soul itself. So, as with The Age of Ancients, The Age of Dark and the fading of The First Flame is associated with a break down and lack of time. Alternatively you could argue she literally summoned herself into the future, which goes to show how time gets very loose towards the end of The Age of Fire.
And now we move on all the way back to The Age of Fire and the concept of "Light" in the Souls series. As stated outright in the description for the Repair spell in DS3, Light is time. According to Solaire of Astora, time is convoluted, with heroes from the past and even other worlds phasing in and out. The White and Red Sign Soapstones, the items used to carve summon signs, are just markings/runes of light. Bonfires in DS3 allow you to teleport between eras, allowing you to teleport to and from locations like the Untended Graves and end of the world any other Bonfire in present day. And of course there's the scene where upon waking Filianore and destroying her egg, a flash of light sends you forwards in time to the end of the world.
Different timelines are brought up as well in the games. Solaire's dialogue makes references to alternate worlds, and Miyazaki confirms that if you do his questline correctly he links The First Flame of his own world after helping you beat Gwyn. The game is vague as to whether or not there is just one First Flame that sustains all realities or each timeline is its own reality with separate First Flames. While I wouldn't say it's as solid as flat Uni, the Souls series have sold millions of copies, each of which could potentially be its own world similar to how Pokemon's cosmology works (especially if we factor in that Demon's Souls is possibly among these alternate worlds).
Speed... doesn't really change at all from the Relativistic to Light-speed range mentioned earlier. I guess you could wank it though by arguing Benhart of Jugo casually walks into the past without the Ashen Mist Heart, making it an Immeasurable speed feat. It's ridiculous and there's hardly any context of how in the world he walked into the past, but it's technically there.

Conclusion:

At minimum, The Chosen Undead would scale to Island/Country level for AP and Durability, with Relativistic to Light-speed reactions and attack speed. Lore points to at least Star Level to up to Universal levels of power accounting for The First Flame being correlated with time itself within the lands of the Souls games. If you really want to take the series to its highest reasonable scaling, then you could have Multiversal & Immeasurable Dark Souls.
Also DS2 deserves some slack. Had the best PvP, best Fashion Souls, and Emerald Herald is the best Souls waifu.
See you guys when the episode comes out later!

Qualifier round: Ilja Dragunov vs. Dolph Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler fucking dies.
Ilja Dragunov, a man with everything to gain and nothing to lose, sets his sights once again on Gunther, but now he only has three obstacles in his way through this tournament. In a tournament with the likes of LA Knight, Sheamus, Butch, Xavier Woods and the newly debuted Dragon Lee, Dragunov takes aim at his opponent in the first round, a man he is intimately familiar with.
The man named Dominik Dijakovik.
In a few matches on Raw and on House Show tours, he begins to finish people off with the move that ended the 877 day reign of WALTER years ago. The sleeper, the move that toppled the stone pillar of WALTER, now decimates his opponents, but the first real test is to beat a former rival in Dijak.
The first match of the first round sees Dragunov take on the Australian Terminator, and after a hard fought battle, Dragunov wins a place in the second round after nearly decapitating Dijak with a devastating elbow, right into the sleeper.
As the first round finishes up, the four men who can possibly win are revealed.
Butch, now going by Pete Dunne, the murderous lone wolf of yesteryear.
Sheamus, the Irish guy
And Dragon Lee. A king of Lucha, the most “wildcard” act in this foursome, the most opposite of Gunther, and seemingly, WWE’s last hope to dethrone Gunther. As
Sheamus takes on Dragon Lee in a losing effort, being unfamiliar with his offensive abilities, Pete Dunne and Ilja Dragunov face off. Pete and Dragunov tear each other apart, making people nearly uncomfortable by bending each other's limbs to unnatural angles, and as Dragunov wrenches back with the sleeper, the referee stops the match, giving Dragunov the win and place in the finals against Dragon Lee.
As Ilja trains to fight Dragon Lee, he’s reached backstage by none other than JD McDonagh, who has risen to prominence as the challenger to United States Champion against Austin Theory (in his third reign after losing to Matt Riddle). JD wishes Ilja luck, and some advice…
“Gunther is… unraveling. He’s desperate, going back to his old ways. Now is the time to pull the trigger.”
Raw before WrestleMania
Ilja Dragunov vs Dragon Lee
Dragunov runs to Dragon Lee and immediately launches into a Jumping Knee, which Dragon Lee ducks, expertly spinning into a sick sounding Enziguri, leveling Dragunov. As Dragon Lee launches into his signature Lucha/Strong style offense, Dragunov takes this punishment, biding his time for a slight misstep, and that comes when Lee hesitates half a second on a Yakuza kick in the corner. This gives Dragunov time to hit a Spinning Knife-edge chop, knocking the wind out of Lee, who eventually loses after a rear naked choke and a Torpedo Moskau.
As Dragunov celebrates the victory, Gunther appears on the entrance, and picks up a mic, to make the claim that he’s a different man. A man with no weaknesses.
Dragunov picks up a mic and responds: “A beast, in fable, is slain time and time again. At WrestleMania, I slay you once more”
WrestleMania 40
Intercontinental Championship Match
Ilja Dragunov vs Gunther {c}
By this point, everyone in the stadium has seen the evolution of Gunther vs Dragunov matches, and the hype is palpable. As the two heavy handed men face off in the ring, corner to corner, the bell rings, and both former NXT UK Champions take a second to steel themselves, and rush full tilt towards each other. They collide as if they were kaiju, battering their respective opponents with thunderous chops and lightning quick kicks.
Gunther and Ilja finally tie up, chests and necks beet red already, Ilja taking the disadvantage as “that Commie fuck” (as called by Jim Cornette on his shitty podcast) is thrown into the turnbuckle. As Gunther winds his hand back, Ilja drops down, Gunther’s chop missing by a hair. Dragunov rolls back to his feet, pivots, and does a short run into a jumping Yakuza kick, striking the brow of the Intercontinental champion. But this has very little effect, as Gunther wraps his arms around Ilja and gives him a belly to belly Suplex into the turnbuckle.
Gunther begins to gain an upper hand, so much so that Dragunov struggles to even stand up. This is one Gunther releases several brutal, thunderous chops into the chest of Ilja Dragunov, breaking the skin and sending streaks of crimson across the stark white of the canvas. Dragunov, now in a sort of blood induced adrenaline rush, leaps up and Headbutts the Champion, sending the towering Austrian reeling. As Ilja sees this, he quickly slips behind AND LOCKS IN THE REAR NAKED CHOKE!!! Gunther is fading, but lurches forward, launching Dragunov into the steel ring post.
Dragunov, holding his shoulder, fires back up and systematically attacks his opponent, dropping Gunther to his knees, but instead of immediately locking in a choke, Dragunov climbs to the top turnbuckle AND LAUNCHES TORPEDO MOSKAU!!! But he doesn’t stop here, Ilja drops down and LOCKS IN THE CHOKE AGAIN!!! Gunther is desperate to get out, but as a desperate beast is bound to slip, Gunther slips further and further into unconsciousness, only coming to when Ilja Dragunov holds the Intercontinental Championship over his head, even more elated than when he struck down the beast the first time.
The next night on Raw, Ilja Dragunov celebrates his victory with some of his fellow NXT brethren, when the lights dim, and on the tron we see a smiling face. As The Schism surrounds the ring, the lights go off and on again, and Joe Gacy, former three time CZW World Champion, stands across from the current Intercontinental Champion, setting up the next PPV match for both wrestlers.
Joe Gacy, Deathmatch extraordinaire.
Ilja Dragunov, Wrestling Purist
Who can take the most pain? Who can dish it out more?
Only time will tell.
In Hell in a Cell.

So a couple of weeks ago I posted my ideas for hypothetical starters for the next generation of Pokemon based in an Australian region, and since then I've been thinking about what the story for such a region could entail. I really liked the concept of having three separate story paths that eventually converge at the end that Scarlet and Violet introduced, but I feel that each of the three paths had their own shortcomings that could be improved on in a future entry like generation 10, assuming it still keeps the open-world style.
I've decided to explain these three story paths in three different sections of this post, as well as having two additional sections at the beginning explaining both the plot synopsis of the game as well as the central gameplay mechanic of the region. I've also decided to mix up what types ended up in each equivalent story path so that there were no repeats from Gen 9. So without further ado, here are my ideas of what the three story path structure from Scarlet and Violet could look like in an Australian based region.
​
Part 1: Starters https://www.reddit.com/TruePokemon/comments/13p5z88/ideas_for_gen_10_starters_for_an_australianbased/
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Plot Synopsis:
Unlike most other Pokemon games, the main protagonist is not a child embarking on their first journey to become the Pokemon Champion. Instead, the player takes control of a 16 year old teenager who is moving to Auborn (Aussie based region's name) from Galar along with their mother, having already participated in the Champion Cup and coming close to beating the champion in that region. Because of Auborn's strict laws on importing foreign Pokemon due to a rise of unexpected new evolutions that first occurred when various foreign Pokemon first set foot in the region due to Auborn having an innate connection with the Dream World, the player was unable to bring their previous team along with them to the region, forcing them to essentially start their journey over from scratch.
Upon arriving in the region, the player, along with their mother, head to the Auborn Association of Rangers' Headquarters, an organization that specializes in studying and catching the various wild Pokemon of the Auborn region. They meet up with the leader of the organization, who is based off the crocodile hunter, but essentially plays the role of the professor of the region. He gives the player the option of picking either Crocodino, Lamblast, or Splatypus as their starter, and the player's mother picks the starter that is strong against them, leaving the final starter in the professor's care.
The Auborn Association of Rangers' Headquarters will be the central base of operations for the region, functioning similar to the Academy in generation 9. Here, the player can take training courses to learn more about catching Pokemon, the lore of the region, and the history of Pokemon battling in the Auborn region.
After the player is finished with the introductions, they are encouraged to explore every corner of the Auborn region in whatever order they wish, but they will be tasked with three main objectives: take the eight endurance trials to raise the max level of Pokemon that can be used in battle on their trainers' license, go on ranger expeditions in the five National Parks of Auborn to study the local wildlife, and investigate the five traditional shrines of the Dream Guardians to deal with the reports of an evil team attempting to vandalize the sacred homes of these creatures.
Auborn-The name of this region is a combination of Australia and Melbourne, one of the most populated cities in the country. When said out loud, it also sounds like "awe-born" which refers to the fact that this is the region that is most closely related to the dream world first established back in Gen 5.
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Central Gameplay Mechanic: Astral Ascension
In the Auborn region, Pokemon have the ability to draw power from the dream world and temporarily realize their full innate potential in battle by achieving a state known as Astral Ascension. Gameplay-wise, this mechanic is similar to Terastalization, as it allows one Pokemon in the party per battle to enter their Astral form, which allows them to transform into whatever their Astral type is. However, unlike Terastalization, this state will only last for three turns before the Pokemon reverts back to normal. A Pokemon's Astral type can be changed at every Pokemon Center by using ten Astral shards of any given type to craft an Astral orb of that type that can be used on a certain Pokemon to give it the desired Astral type.
Additionally, the Pokemon's ability will swap over to its Astral ability, which is typically just whatever ability is going unused for Pokemon that can have 2 possible abilities. The terminology for abilities has changed slightly for Pokemon who can have 3 possible abilities. A Pokemon's ability when it isn't in its Astral form is called its Standard Ability, its Astral Ability can only be used temporarily for three turns in battle while it's in its Astral form, and its Hidden Ability is whatever ability is going unused. A Pokemon's abilities can be freely swapped around by using an Ability Capsule.
One last change from Terastalization is the STAB bonus that is achieved when a Pokemon is in its Astral form. In Scarlet and Violet, Pokemon who had terastalized would keep the STAB bonus from their original types in addition to whatever type they terastalized into. For Astral Ascension, I've decided to make it so that for the three turns that they are in their Astral form, the Pokemon will only gain the STAB boost from their Astral type to balance out the fact that they can now make use of multiple abilities in battle. In addition, Pokemon who ascend into an Astral type that matches one of their original types will now only get a 1.75 boost to moves of that type's base power rather than a 2x boost.
Unlike in Scarlet and Violet, Astral Ascension wouldn't be available from near the beginning of the game. Instead, players will gradually unlock the ability for their Pokemon to attain Astral Ascension by completing the three story paths and defeating all 18 type specialists to incentivize heading towards a certain challenge earlier based on the player's team composition and so that they can't make use of their entire party's other abilities from the get-go.
I think that these changes would help to make Pokemon battles more interesting without being too overpowered, and would help make the main campaign more exciting by gradually allowing the player to unlock the true potential of their Pokemon over the course of the game. It would also lead to interesting situations like with the Pokemon Krookodile. Since its abilities would swap around when using Astral Ascension, players would now have to think about whether they want to have Intimidate as their base ability while only potentially having Moxie for three turns or essentially forgoing Intimidate entirely in favour of Moxie, since Intimidate wouldn't activate upon entering its Astral Form. I think it would make players think more about what role each Pokemon could bring to the team and devising strategies based on that rather than just focusing on type effectiveness, which would have the potential of adding multiple layers of strategy that weren't initially there with Terastalization.
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Path 1: License to Victory
This path would mirror the gym challenge path from Scarlet and Violet, but with a twist. Since Pokemon battling is considered to be a dangerous activity in the Auborn region, trainers are required to obtain a license to battle with Pokemon in a graduated-licensing system through the endurance trials. This will introduce a level-scaling system to the game, where players will only be able to have Pokemon in their party that are below or equal to the level that the next gym leader's ace is at. Any Pokemon caught in the wild that are higher than the max level on the player's current license will be forced into the PC until they beat enough gym leaders to be able to use them in battle. If a Pokemon in the player's party reaches the level cap, the EXP that they gain will be turned into Bonus EXP, which won't be earned until the player obtains their next badge, kind of like how Shadow Pokemon worked in Colosseum and XD.
While the gym leaders could be fought in any order, since the first leader fought will always start at level 20, there would naturally be certain leaders that would be tougher to face, like a dragon trainer having single stage dragons at the start with a higher base stat total than the Flying-type leader's Pokemon. I would imagine the level curve would go something like this:
0 Badges-Pokemon in party can be trained up to level 20. First gym leader has three Pokemon, with their ace at level 20. Recommended first gym leader is Flying type.
1 Badge-Pokemon in party can be trained up to level 25. Second gym leader has three Pokemon with their ace at level 25. Recommended second gym leader is Poison type.
2 Badges-Pokemon in party can be trained up to level 30. Third gym leader has four Pokemon with their ace at level 30. Recommended third gym leader is Fairy type.
3 Badges-Pokemon in party can be trained up to level 35. Fourth gym leader has four Pokemon with their ace at level 35. Recommended fourth gym leader is Fire type.
4 Badges-Pokemon in party can be trained up to level 40. Fifth gym leader has five Pokemon, with their ace at level 40. Recommended fifth gym leader is Dark type.
5 Badges-Pokemon in party can be trained up to level 45. Sixth gym leader has five Pokemon, with their ace at level 45. Recommended sixth gym leader is Fighting type.
6 Badges-Pokemon in party can be trained up to level 50. Seventh gym leader has six Pokemon, with their ace at Level 50. Recommended seventh gym leader is Steel type.
7 Badges-Pokemon in party can be trained up to level 55. Eighth gym leader has six Pokemon, with their ace at Level 55. Recommended final gym leader is Dragon type.
8 Badges-Pokemon in party can be trained up to any level. Elite Four is in the postgame, and have six Pokemon each, with their aces at level 70. Their types are Normal, Electric, Fairy, and Psychic, filling out every remaining unused elite four type except for Grass. Upon defeating the elite four, it's revealed that the player's mom actually defeated them prior, and they have to face off against their mother in a final battle. Her ace is at level 75, and her team has diverse typing.
These changes, along with the introduction of Astral Ascension, would make endurance trials that much more challenging. Now, the fire-type leader could use Astral Ascension on a bulky Grass-type to turn into a Fire-type for three turns to take advantage of an ability like Chlorophyll or Solar Power before reverting back into a Grass-type to perfectly counter all of Fire's weaknesses, adding an element of tension to the fights where players would want to knock out the opponent's Pokemon as soon as possible before they could potentially hit back and counter their entire team with a different, unexpected type. It's situations like this that would add a ton of variety to the endurance trial system, which is what the gym challenge desperately needs after nine generations of feeling kind of samey.
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Path 2: Ranger Expeditions
Replacing the Team Star Route from Scarlet and Violet, this path focuses more on catching Pokemon and crafting certain things for the ranger scout of that particular area. Taking the 10 wonders of the region concept from Scarlet and Violet a step further, the five national parks that the player will visit over the course of this story route are five of the ten wonders of the Auborn region, with the other five being explored in the third story route. These national parks will be filled with Pokemon and tourists alike, making these areas just as bustling as the cities housing the endurance challenges.
This route would play out similarly to the missions in Legends Arceus, and I would imagine Pokemon catching would work basically the same as it did in that game as well. Players would be tasked with catching a variety of Pokemon within the biome to study features such as size differences, move variety, and gender differences between different species of Pokemon, as well as what their dropped materials can be crafted into. These parks would be based in a Grass-type outback area, Water-type beach resort area, Rock-type mountain area, Ground-type desert area, and Ice-type Snowfield area to maximize the type diversity of Pokemon being studied.
I won't go as in depth with this story path or the next one since this post has already gone on long enough, but I feel like having a campaign more in line with Legends Arceus focused on catching would be more interesting, at least gameplay wise compared to how Team Star Bases played out where if you had the type advantage it felt like it was basically just tap auto-battle to win until the real boss fight came out.
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Path 3: Dream Guardian Investigation
The final section will be the most brief one, since it will essentially be a mixture of the Titan Pokemon path from Scarlet and Violet and the Totem Pokemon challenges from Sun and Moon. I feel like the concept of having these super strong Pokemon that you can find in the wild like with Titan Pokemon is just so interesting that you could have a similar system in Gen 10 without too many changes and it would be fine.
There are five ancient shrines dedicated to the "Dream Guardians" scattered across the region, and each of them are considered to be five of the ten wonders of the Auborn region. These are legendary Pokemon that were said to roam the land in ancient times long before the first humans were born in the region, where the connection between the Dream World and the Pokemon World was even stronger than today. However, due to the nefarious actions of the Ghost-type Team Spectre, the five ancient shrines are being corrupted by the Successor Pokemon to the Dream Guardians (equivalent to Totem Pokemon), and the player must work together with the locals who worship the Dream Guardians to heal their successors before their ancestral homes are destroyed for good.
Unlike the other two paths, the missions in this route must be completed in a specific order to unravel the story of these legendary Pokemon in a linear fashion. The original Dream Guardians each share a primary type with their successors. The progression for this route would go as follows:
Bug Primary Type Successor-Level 20
Electric Primary Type Successor-Level 30
Normal Primary Type Successor-Level 40
Psychic Primary Type Successor-Level 50
Ghost Primary Type Successor + Team Spectre Leader-Level 60
I admittedly didn't go as in depth with this story path as I could've, but I think this general template would work to create an interesting story and an intimidating evil team.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
And there you have it. I didn't come up with a final story segment like Scarlet and Violet had, but I hope this gave a good enough idea on how I would imagine an Australian based region could play out for Gen 10. I also have ideas for 29 different evolutions for old Pokemon for the Auborn region if anyone would be interested in seeing posts about that in the future. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments below!

Forbidden Door II
PAC returns at Forbidden Door II, during the IWGP US Championship match between Kenny Omega and Will Ospreay. He costs Ospreay the match, confronting and attacking him afterwards.
The following week, PAC delivers a promo on his return to Dynamite. He says he's back, and he wanted to come back in a way people couldn't ignore. "What better way to make a return than to put the man people were saying was 'The Best Wrestler in the World' only a couple of years ago on the shelf", he says. He goes on to say that he's been away from AEW for far too long over the past few years, and now he's wasting no more time - he's aiming to reach his rightful place: as AEW World Champion.
Later on, Aussie Open are being interviewed backstage. They say they've heard from Will Ospreay, and that he's on the mend but "pretty banged up". They say they have a bone to pick with PAC, and that they'll sort it out in the ring.
At Fyter Fest, PAC takes on one half of Aussie Open: soundly beating a newly returning Mark Davis, who has his tag partner Kyle Fletcher at ringside. The following week, at Fight for the Fallen, PAC fights and submits Kyle Fletcher, with Davis absent from ringside due to injuries picked up in his match the week before. After the match, PAC keeps the Brutalizer locked in... until he hears Will Ospreay's music! Ospreay runs down to the ring, and PAC runs away up the ramp. From the ring, Ospreay challenges PAC to a match at All In, which is later made official.
All In: London
The match between PAC and Will Ospreay is one of the main events of the card. PAC ultimately wins after hitting the Black Arrow.
All Out 2023
Only a week after All In, the main event of All Out is MJF vs Darby Allin for the AEW title. Towards the end of the match, Darby climbs up to hit a Coffin Drop, but PAC rushes out of the crowd at ringside to interfere, jumping up and pushing Darby off the top rope to the ringside floor below whilst the referee is down. He rolls Darby back into the ring, and MJF pins him shortly after.
The following week's Dynamite, in a segment where "We hear from PAC", he complains to Tony Shiavone that only one week after he beat Will Ospreay in the main event, in front of the biggest AEW crowd ever, he is left off the card for one of the biggest shows of the year! "And I have to watch as Darby Allin, someone who has never beaten me, gets an opportunity that is rightfully mine?!" Darby comes down to the ring, and after a mini-confrontation, PAC delivers a cheap-shot before leaving Darby in the ring.
It's announced afterwards that, on the upcoming Anniversary Show, PAC will take on Darby Allin. The week beforehand, PAC is interviewed backstage, and he reminds everyone of what happened at Bash at the Beach 2019, where PAC beat Darby. This final words in the segment are: "I beat him up once… and I'll do it again".
4th Anniversary Show
PAC takes on Darby Allin. Sting acts as a sort of enforcer, who helps ensure PAC doesn't get any unfair advantage. However, after a Black Arrow to the back, PAC picks up the victory.
The following week, it's revealed PAC has a match at Battle of the Belts for a title he is synonymous with, as it's inaugural champion: the All Atlantic Championship. In a backstage promo, he warns Orange Cassidy that his time as champion is coming to an end, but sarcastically thanks him for "keeping my title warm - but next week... it comes home to me!"
Battle of the Belts
PAC takes on Orange Cassidy for the All Atlantic Championship. After a great match, showcasing the chemistry the two men have in the ring, PAC looks like he's going to win, but Darby interferes this time, costing him the title match.
The following week, Darby calls out PAC during a promo. He says he wants another match with him. PAC immediately laughs him off, saying he's beat him twice already, before leaving the ring.
PAC is a guest on commentary the following week, for one of Darby Allin's matches, which Darby wins. After the match, Darby grabs a microphone and starts addressing PAC directly. In response, PAC lets Darby know he's been talking to Tony Khan, and he's come to an arrangement with him that Allin will be happy with. At Full Gear, he and Darby Allin will go one-on-one. The stipulation: an "I Quit" match. The winner becomes the number 1 contender for the AEW World title. The loser cannot challenge for the AEW title for a full year. Sting tries to get Darby to not make a hasty decision, but Darby accepts.
In the run-up to Full Gear, PAC and Darby are booked strongly, scoring a couple of wins each over mid-card wrestlers. Notably, PAC decides to end his matches with the Britalizer, forcing his opponents to tap.
Full Gear 2023
The "I Quit" match ends when PAC locks Darby in the Brutalizer and Darby passes out. Seeing this, Sting grabs a microphone and says "I Quit" on Darby's behalf. PAC celebrates becoming number one contender for the AEW title, and Darby ends up having a confrontation with Sting.
The Dynamite after Full Gear, PAC interrupts a segment with MJF, who's celebrating retaining his title in a match with Adam Cole. Their match for the AEW title is made official for Winter is Coming. In a promo, PAC says that people don't cheer him now, but they will after seeing what he'll do to MJF.
Winter is Coming
MJF beats PAC after using the Dynamite Diamond Ring as he tries to land the Black Arrow.
After this match, PAC transitions to working in the upper mid-card again.

Welcome to This Week In KPOP, a collection of everything you may have missed during the past week on kpop.

May 27, 2023 - June 2, 2023

TOP 10 STORIES

Megathread: EXO Chen, Baekhyun, and Xiumin vs. SM Entertainment Contract Termination Dispute

#	Votes	Thread	Comments
1	(+7408)	EXO Baekhyun, Chen, Xiumin have ended their exclusive contracts with SM Entertainment + taken legal action against the company for overdue payment and unreasonable deals	1357 comments
2	(+3656)	T.O.P confirms he has left BIGBANG	348 comments
3	(+3236)	Dreamcatcher have earned their first win for "BONVOYAGE" on SBS M The Show (230530)	136 comments
4	(+2220)	Jeon Somi confirmed to be preparing for a comeback	183 comments
5	(+1994)	Daisy (ex-MOMOLAND) updates on unpaid wages lawsuit win, says MLD Entertainment’s appeal was dismissed	68 comments
6	(+1519)	EXO's Baekhyun Chen And Xiumin To Participate In Group Music Video As Planned — SM Entertainment Denies Postponement	163 comments
7	(+1370)	SHINee Announces Plans For June Concert + Multiple Comebacks	48 comments
8	(+1369)	Stray Kids’ 3rd Full Album ‘★★★★★ (5-STAR)’ has surpassed 4.93 Million Pre-orders!	345 comments
9	(+1228)	OMEGA X Returns To Twitter As Fans Celebrate Their Freedom From Spire Entertainment	19 comments
10	(+1171)	Fifty Fifty chart on Billboard Hot 100 for 10th week with 'Cupid' (Setting its own new record as the first song from a K-pop girl group to chart for 10 consecutive weeks)	36 comments

TOP ANNIVERSARIES

#	Votes	Thread	Comments
1	(+1493)	Happy 5th Anniversary to LOONA yyxy!	28 comments
2	(+270)	Happy 6th Anniversary to ALICE!	13 comments

TOP 10 PERFORMANCES

#	Votes	Thread	Comments
1	(+808)	[Dance Challenge] (G)I-DLE Minnie and Shuhua with TWICE Mina and Tzuyu- "Queencard" Dance Challenge (230530)	37 comments
2	(+661)	[Song Cover] TWICE Dahyun - Good Mood (orig. Adam Levine) (Dahyun Melody Project)	16 comments
3	(+608)	[Song Cover] aespa Ningning - Something Like That (orig. Hwayobi) (Band Live Ver.) (MDR it's Live)	27 comments
4	(+546)	[Dance Practice] SHINee - Don't Call Me (Dance Practice)	17 comments
5	(+443)	[Performance] XG Jurin & Cocona - Nothin' (orig. N.O.R.E feat. Pharrell) (XG TAPE #3-B)	52 comments
6	(+429)	[Dance Challenge] LE SSERAFIM Yunjin with Jeon Somi - Eve, Psyche & The Bluebeard's wife (Dance Challenge) (230530)	26 comments
7	(+364)	[Dance Practice] ZEROBASEONE (ZB1) - 난 빛나 (Here I Am) (Dance Practice)	17 comments
8	(+352)	[Live] BLACKPINK - Shut Down @ Coachella 2023 (230422)	23 comments
9	(+335)	[Performance] XG Harvey & Maya - Two Tens (orig. cordae feat. Anderson .Paak) (XG TAPE #3-A)	39 comments
10	(+315)	[Dance Challenge] tripleS Seoyeon (with ARTMS/LOONA Heejin) - Charismatic (orig. Queendom Puzzle : DROP The Beat) (Dance Challenge) (230529)	8 comments

TOP DISCUSSIONS / FEATURES

#	Votes	Thread	Comments
1	(+192)	Throwback: CL released "THE BADDEST FEMALE" this week in 2013	6 comments
2	(+181)	Upcoming K-Pop Comebacks / Releases in June 2023	44 comments
3	(+34)	What Are You Listening To? - May 31, 2023	38 comments
4	(+25)	Weekly Discussion (May 29, 2023 – Jun 4, 2023)	5 comments
5	(+4)	Interesting song structures	7 comments

MUSIC SHOWS

Date	Performances	Discussion Thread	Winner
20230527	Music Core	Thread	(G)I-DLE
20230528	Inkigayo	Thread	(G)I-DLE
20230530	The Show	Thread	Dreamcatcher
20230531	Show Champion	Thread	Dreamcatcher
20230601	M!Countdown	Thread	ENHYPEN
20230602	Music Bank	Thread	ENHYPEN

 

NEW RELEASES

Day	Artist	Album Title	Type	Music Video	Streaming
27th	n.SSign	Monologue	pre-debut repackage mini album	Monologue	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Jiselle	Enemy	digital single	Enemy (feat. GEMINI)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Song Sohee	Infodemics	digital single	Infodemics (with Ilwoo Lee (JAMBINAI))	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
28th	Eunice (DIA)	BLUE ROS3	debut digital single	BLUE ROS3 (miracle)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Kim Areum	Beautiful City	pre-release single	Beautiful City	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Ryu Sera (ex-9MUSES)	Perfect Square	mini album	Star Crossed	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	HELLO GLOOM (IMFACT Ungjae)	Eyes On Me	single album	Eyes On Me	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	LEEWOO (ex-MADTOWN Lee Geon)	Pine Tree	Room Casting project remake single	Pine Tree (orig. Kangta)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
29th	lunCHbox	Package 1 : Smile	full-length album	Smile (feat. HIROTO (Boys Planet))	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Soohyun (U-KISS)	Fading Seasons	digital single	Fading Seasons (prod. O.WHEN)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	AB6IX	THE FUTURE IS OURS : LOST	mini album	LOSER	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	CIX	'OK' Episode 2 : I'm OK	mini album	Save me, Kill me	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	MeloMance	A Shining Day	digital single	A Shining Day	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Sojung (LADIES' CODE)	The Day	remake single	The Day (orig. JeA (Brown Eyed Girls), Kim Yeonji (SeeYa))	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
30th	WOO (ex-LIMITLESS A.M)	BE:LOVED	mini album	Last Greeting	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Yeoro	Paradise	digital single	Paradise (feat. JUNIEL (ex-Poetic Narrator))	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	BOYNEXTDOOR	WHO!	debut single album	But I Like You / One and Only / Serenade	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	DinDin	Life4Cuts	digital single	Life4Cuts (feat. Leellamarz)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	E.SO (ex-Berry Good Seoyul)	Numb	digital single	Numb	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	GB9	Just the way you are	digital single	Just the way you are (with LYn)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Kid Milli	BEIGE	full-length album	HONDA ! / Still friend ? (feat. pH-1) / BNC (feat. Sik-K, Woo Wonjae)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	WH3N	The Starting Line	digital single	The Starting Line	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Wonstein	DEMO	mini album	Cool (prod. PEEJAY)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	xooos	Made In Heart	mini album	Bad At Us	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Yang Hee Eun, Chen (EXO)	Bloom	SM STATION project single	Bloom	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
31st	DIAWINGS	Finale	single album	Finale	Spotify / Apple Music
	IVE	WAVE	Japanese mini album	WAVE	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	THE BOYZ	Delicious	Japanese pre-release single	Delicious	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	TWICE	Hare Hare	Japanese single album	Hare Hare	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Nerd Connection	I Robbed a Bank	digital single	I Robbed a Bank	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	HORI7ON	Lovey Dovey	debut digital single	Lovey Dovey	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Jon Batiste (feat. JID, NewJeans & Camilo)	Be Who You Are (Real Magic)	Coca-Cola collaboration single	Be Who You Are (Real Magic)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	NINE to SIX (DKZ)	GOOD TO YOU	unit debut single album	Don't Call Me	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Rothy	Diamond	single album	Diamond	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Yoon Jong Shin	Monthly Project 2023 May	Monthly Yoon project single	Hesitate	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
1st	ChoCo1&2	ChoCo Takes Hollywood (MAX)	full-length album	Fruity Loops	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	DUSTIN	BLACKLIST	digital single	BLACKLIST	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Hoody, Hersh, touch	You Will Never Know	digital single	You Will Never Know	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Park Rossi	Luv Myself	digital single	Luv Myself	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Yebit	23	mini album	100%	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Aaron Kwak	Time Difference	solo debut digital single	Time Difference	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	B.I	TO DIE FOR	full-length album	Die for love (feat. Jessi) / Dare to Love (feat. BIG Naughty)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Hwang Chi Yeul	GIFT	mini album	You Are My Spring	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Lim Kim, TETE	Romantico	remake single	Romantico (orig. TETE)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Zhoumi	Mañana (Our Drama)	digital single	Mañana (Our Drama) (feat. Eunhyuk (Super Junior))	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
2nd	@IN_US, RUNNERS, SUGAR POP, Flash	Fantasy Boys - Semi Final	MBC 'Fantasy Boys' album	SPACEMAN (prod. Jeon Soyeon ((G)I-DLE)) / RUN (prod. Kang Seungyoon (WINNER)) / SNACKS (prod. Wooyoung (2PM)) / Hold Tight (prod. Jinyoung (B1A4))	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	J.Fla	Riding a T-Rex	digital single	Riding a T-Rex	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Silly Silky (prev. YESEO)	Completely Blown Me Away	digital single	Completely Blown Me Away	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Stray Kids	★★★★★ (5-STAR)	full-length album	S-Class	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music
	Woo (Woo Wonjae)	Ransome	digital single	Ransome (feat. BILL STAX)	Spotify / Apple Music / YouTube Music

"This Week in KPOP" Archive

Ah, Season 2, the season where they improved on EVERYTHING. The flows, the disses, the lyrics, the instrumentals, it just got better and better. With all that said though, what do I think of every single rap battle in this season? Well, let's find out. Oh, but before we get to my thoughts, the Gandalf vs Dumbledore rap battle grew on me a lot since my rewatch post. The lines and instrumental really did it for me. It gets an 8/10.
Hitler vs Vader 2: Whereas Vader won the first rap battle against Hitler, Adolf crushed him on this one with just ONE fucking verse. Don't get me wrong, Darth Vader did have some good lines, but overall, Adolf's performance in this one was simply amazing. 10/10.
Master Chief vs Leonidas: I haven't heard this one in quite a while, so at first I was skeptical, but it was still a decent battle. Not my favorite, but you still have some good moments in it. 7.10
Mario Bros vs Wright Bros: One of the most entertaining rap battles they've ever done. I know EpicLLoyd and NicePeter's version of Mario and Luigi are probably more mixed by fans of the franchise, but I'm sorry, this one was just way too fun. Also, Rhett and Link are in it. Need I say more? 9.5/10
Michael Jackson vs Elvis Presley: Popular for a reason, this one just has so many great moments. The kid who played, well, kid MJ was great, LLoyd as Elvis is one of my favorites this season, and the same goes with Peter as adult MJ. 9.5/10.
Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe: The start of what I call the 3 diss trilogy this season. It's not only the best out of all the female rap battles, but of course, it has the very popular miscarriage line. Though, Monroe's ''Your sandy vagina has a 7 year itch'' is hilarious. 10/10.
Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates: Energetic, that's a good way of describing this one. The flows, the beat, everything about it is pure energy, and I love all of it! 10/10.
Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury: This one may not have the best disses this season, but I still love this one. Peter as Freddie Mercury is one of my favorites from him this season. 9/10.
Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney: The first rap battle involving presidents and politics, and while I care less about politics, this one is still amazing. From Obama's funny lines and amazing dance moves, to Romney and some of his lines, to suddenly, Abraham Lincoln. Just great all around. 9/10.
Doc Brown vs Doctor Who: How can one describe this battle? Let me see. ''Dalek my balls'' is a hilarious line, George Watsky has an amazing flow, and the beat is one of my favorites (take a shot every time I say one of my favorites) 7.5/10.
Bruce Lee vs Clint Eastwood: The 2 edition of the 3 diss trilogy, and ooh boy, Clint's final verse hits hard. I don't know what made him so pissed that day, but he was taking no one's shit. Lee did try and put up a fight, but Clint made him his bitch. 9.5/10.
Batman vs Sherlock Holmes: Not sure how popular of an opinion this is, but this is probably the first miss this season. Sherlock's final verse was decent, and Robin's flow was catchy, but this was weak as hell. Also, to quote LLoyd himself, ''That is not a cool way to play Batman.'' 5.5/10.
Moses vs Santa Claus: Better than the last one, and that's mainly because of Snoop Dogg. I mean, if you have Snoop on your series, chances are, he's gonna be awesome, and he was. Not to say that Santa was bad here, but again, Snoop Dogg. Come on, you're gonna lose automatically. 8/10.
Adam vs Eve: The second miss for this season. The beat is better than the Batman one, but man, this one was just not good. 4/10.
Gandhi vs Martin Luther King: The first of the Key and Peele battles, and of course, they're amazing in it. This one may be short, but it's still a great rap battle. And, the fact that they had the n word be said on an Epic Rap Battle, I admit, that takes balls I gotta say. 8.5/10.
Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison: Why doesn't this one have more views, I will never understand. This one is really underrated. Both had great verses, and Tesla's final one is like much the rap battle itself, underrated. 9.5/10.
Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong: This one has even LESS views than the last one, and again, I don't understand why. This one has almost everything. Great performances, NicePeter's flow on the second verse, and a devastating final verse from Ruth, officially ending the 3 diss trilogy for this season. 10/10.
Mozart vs Skrillex: Take the Justin Bieber vs Beethoven rap battle, and make it 10 times better. Unlike Bieber, Skrillex has a way better flow, better verses, and actually puts up a fight against Mozart. Mozart himself was also better than Beethoven for basically the same exact reasons as Skrillex. Also, shout out to a live rap battle that had Skrillex himself. Haven't watched it in a while, but I felt the need to mention it. 10/10.
And finally, Rasputin vs Stalin: While I know nothing about any of these guys at all, that doesn't make this one bad at all. It's yet another amazing one, filled with constant beat switches, clever lines like the Birth Marx one, and even features a dancing Pewdiepie. Overall, a great ending to a great season. 10/10.
And those are my thoughts on every single rap battle this season. While there were a few that weren't that great, nearly almost all of them were amazing, from start to finish. Next up is season 3. We'll see how that season fares compared to this one.

In full disclosure, I really hate to say this as someone who absolutely loathes Trump, so much so that I'd vote for DeSantis in a primary as a Biden supporter to eliminate any risk of Trump being POTUS again. But ever since election day 2022, when I bought the conventional wisdom that DeSantis was probably going to beat Trump for the nomination and would have a decent shot to beat Biden in the general election, I've come to regrettably realize that Trump, while not a favorite in a general election, would have a better chance to beat Biden in the general, and here's why:
First, there’s the issue of low propensity/Trump only voters. We’ve seen Trump beat his polls twice, and there are a lot of theories as to why, but I think given the accuracy of polling when Trump’s not on the ballot, it’s pretty clear that there’s a Trump-only vote, and that this “Trumpism without Trump” theory doesn’t work. That may be MAGA diehards who screw with pollsters for fun, or it may be a socially-estranged, low-trust, not-answering-phone kind of person who doesn’t pay attention to the news much and only votes for Trump in a general election because he’s the only candidate who’s in the news enough to draw their attention. It’s probably a bit of both, but there’s not a lot of evidence that non-Trump Republicans have much of this appeal, especially in swing states. I concede that DeSantis beat his polls in Florida twice, but Republicans underperformed their polls in basically every other swing state in 2022 (if Florida counts as a swing state), 2018 had errors in both directions, and Romney underperformed his polls in 2012. If these people exist, and are key to Republicans winning or keeping presidential elections close, then that’s a problem for DeSantis as non-Trump candidates don’t seem to have the ability to turn them out, and DeSantis, by trying to do “Trumpism without Trump” probably increases the odds that he will Blake Masters himself rather than get himself elected POTUS.
Second, people who think DeSantis is more electable need to take a look at the electoral college, and what's driven the key states in the directions that they've been driven in. I would agree that given his inroads in the suburbs and with Hispanics, DeSantis would have better odds than Trump in Georgia and Arizona, and would probably make Biden's odds of winning North Carolina or Texas close to zero. But even if DeSantis wins Georgia and Arizona - which is far from a guarantee, that gets him only to 262 EVs if all other states hold from 2016. DeSantis would then have to flip Wisconsin, Michigan, or Pennsylvania, which seems doable given their 2020 margins, except for the fact that DeSantis has one major achilles heel in these states, and that is abortion. Republicans lost the governorships in all three states in 2022, in Michigan and Pennsylvania by landslide margins where the losing candidates took very extreme stances on abortion, and we all saw how the Democrats won the Wisconsin Supreme Court seat by 11 points in no small part due to abortion, and DeSantis's 6-week ban is not going to play well in overwhelmingly pro-choice states as the three big Rust Belt states are. And while Trump can be linked to Dobbs given his justice picks, Trump has not staked out extreme positions on abortion for the most part, and he has one big advantage over DeSantis in these states, which is that he actually won them in 2016. Granted, he did lose them in 2020, but not by much, so I wouldn’t say he’s favored in them, certainly not in Michigan or Pennsylvania. But think about the last time these states elected a non-Trump Republican in a general election. Ron Johnson was that in 2022, and that Johnson and Pat Toomey won in 2016, but that’s while Trump was on the ballot. George W. Bush lost all these states, Obama cleaned McCain and Romney’s clocks in all these states, and the most recent cases that you can point to where they elected non-Trump Republicans outside of Ron Johnson (who ran against a disastrous opponent) were when Scott Walker and Rick Snyder won… in 2014, 10 years before 2024. Trump’s not strong or favored to win in these states, but he at least has a record of a fighting chance, whereas DeSantis’s style of politics has a very poor track record in them.
And finally - and I think this is the big one: the electability argument that people have re Trump vs. DeSantis in 2024 get talked about in a similar way to the Biden vs. Sanders one in 2020. And if you could feel relatively certain that whoever loses the primary will throw his support behind the nominee, as you could in the case with Biden and Sanders, that would make sense. If you assumed as a given that if Trump lost the primary, he would endorse DeSantis in the general, give a convention speech, etc. then the case for DeSantis being more electable would make sense. But that's the problem, is that you can't assume that. It's not something you can quantify in a model, and we do have to rely on subjective probability here, but I would dare anybody who thinks DeSantis is the way Republicans beat Biden to answer the question: what about Trump tells you that he's going to be a good sport and throw his support behind the guy who beat him in the primary? The man has no record of being a good sport, and the one argument that I think is somewhat persuasive that he would be in this case - that Trump would need DeSantis to win the presidency in order to get a pardon from his legal issues, that argument is undermined by the fact that Trump's biggest legal threat is in Georgia, not from the feds, and even if DeSantis pardons Trump in the documents and (if they bring charges), the 1/6 investigation, he can't save Trump AT ALL from a likely racketeering case that the Atlanta DA is going to bring. Even if a DeSantis presidency could save Trump from all his legal issues, it's not even clear that Trump would have the self-discipline to support him given his demonstrated lack of self-discipline, and given that it can't, I don't think the "but the pardon" argument holds.
I’m not saying that I think Trump is our next president. He could lose the nomination due to indictments convincing people DeSantis is more electable, and if he wins it, he’s an underdog in a general election given Biden’s incumbency advantage, his tarnished image post-1/6, and the fact that the economy seems to be holding up OK enough to not sink an incumbent (though the last point I’m least sure about). But I just don’t see how the Republicans have much of a shot to win without him.I rest my case here, and want everyone’s agreements/disagreements. This was fun to write!