Base camp duffel small
Suggest topics for the Hello Internet Podcast here.
2017.01.09 16:16 Suggest topics for the Hello Internet Podcast here.
CGP Grey's current system of collecting topic suggestions via Twitter at the drop of a hat is obviously no good. Wouldn't it be nice if there were a place where topic suggestions could be consolidated and pre-prepared for recording day? It sure would, so here it is.
2013.05.12 17:19 Evil-Etho SurviveTheForest
The Forest is an open world survival horror game currently in development for PC. Build, explore, survive in this terrifying first person survival horror simulator.
2023.06.09 02:39 Sunny_Muffins6 My relationship with my ex
So I've been thinking for a while if I should document some of the history I had with my ex who I was with for almost 10 years. Partially to shed a light on warning signs that I was too naive to notice and also to ask advice on how others got over their experiences and deal with any problems in new relationships that bring back those feelings.
For record I did go to my GP who referred me to counseling sessions. Unfortunately those were only 12 free sessions on the NHS and the therapist I was assigned just kept referring me books to read and "homework" such as saying out loud 3 things I'm happy about in my life before bed... Often she just talked about the lack of funding from the government and such.
So I finally left my ex in 2016 ish, I was on antidepressants, occasionally beta blockers for the panic attacks and birth control, all of which made my mood go up and down like a rollercoaster. I was absolutely miserable and one day it just kind of hit me that I have to leave, it's me or this forever?
We started dating when I was 20/21 and he was 5 years older than me. We met because of an online game and he worked with my older brother. My brother gave me his in game character name incase I needed help. I started chatting to him in the game and he came to see my character, he showed me around and it started like that. I was going away for a weekend to a youth group camping event and he joked wasn't I going to ask for his number to keep talking and so I did. During the weekend I met someone my age at some of the events and had a lot of fun with, we had similar jokes and I thought he was really attractive. We added eachothers emails to keep in touch and so I texted the game friend to say I was sorry but I met a really nice person I was interested in. He instantly replied some comments about how it was just a crush, did I even know if they liked me back. Was I just going to throw away what we had for a guy I met over 3 days. I thought about it and I felt so guilty. I decided to stick with him and have minimal contact with the other via email. Years later when Facebook became a thing he did add me there and I accepted thinking nothing of it. We still didn't message or anything. One year he wrote "Happy Birthday Hope you are well!" To which my guy wrote a very rude/sarcastic response something like "she's great I'll tell her you said hi", so he deleted his post didn't message again.
When I got back from camp we arranged to meet up in person for the first time ever and we went for food/coffee the usual. I will mention that I was pre warned by my brother and wasn't really supposed to be talking to this guy outside of the game, so for the first few months of our dating we kept it hidden until I was found out resulting at an angry brother waiting at the train station for me and telling off my guy in public saying he should know better and was told to stay away from me.
I told my mum about it later that day and honestly she didn't really care, and said it's normal for my age, and so we began to date properly not hidden. This guy was my first proper boyfriend and my first everything really.
In the beginning it was fine, we had good times. I did have to deal with his ex who was trying to become my best friend and go out shopping/partying with which I thought was too strange so obviously never did. I then found out she was calling him in the middle of the night crying asking him to take her back. So he ended up telling me that they used to be Engaged and how she cheated on him and so he broke everything off. Now the first red flag, he told me for his revenge everytime she would start dating a new guy he would get in contact with her, ask how she is, act really caring and charming. He would convince her to come over and then sleep with her so that she would feel so guilty she would tell/end her relationship. She thought they would get back together but instead he laughed in her face and tell her to get lost. Apparently this happened multiple times before we met.
Over time I came to realise because of this he could be very jealous, paranoid and had a bad temper, he would throw and smash plates, punch walls. Second red flag he "accidentally" locked me in his house while he went to work one day. I didn't really have anything to do or eat. In the past he did joke with me that if it was allowed he would lock me in his house and never let me leave. I never was sure if this was some sort of joke or a genuine accident.
His ex lived in the countryside and enjoyed the thrill of outdoor sex because no one was really around. Because of that he also enjoyed it. And so when we started getting a bit more serious he would force that on me. Once he met me early in the morning before I had work, it was a nice walk but then he got very handsy. It was ok as we were behind a lot of trees, but then he brought me to a bench and got me to sit on his lap with his hands down my trousers/pants, all while people were passing by. I kept my eyes closed the entire time and thought for sure someone would tell us off. A few times he would touch me on busy trains/buses, we went to an abandoned warehouse and a house. Sometimes there were kids hanging around spray painting or breaking things. In the house he told me to give him a blow job, I tried to laugh it off and say no thinking he must be joking. Instantly this made him angry, he didn't talk to me for a few minutes and then started to tell me things like "a good girlfriend would do this for her boyfriend" and so I ended up absolutely sobbing but doing what he wanted. A different time in the warehouse he wanted to do anal, and again I said I didn't want to, and again the guilt tripping and saying he would be really quick and no one would see, and feeling guilted I gave in. He finished inside and we left. I didn't realise till I had a shower later that day that because of being outside and not having access to lube I was very tender and sore in the area. This basically went on, and sometimes I would lie and say that I really needed to pee just to get out of having sex in public. Even at home he would often pressure me to doing things I didn't like, I have a bad gag reflex so honestly didn't enjoy going down on him, plus often I didn't like his smell or taste. If I asked him to wash it he got very angry at me and would say how it loses sensitivity and doesn't feel as good. Over time he withdrew going down on me because I wasn't "being a good girlfriend" and honestly I didn't mind.
Around 4 years or so into the relationship I made a new friend in work and she invited us to her birthday in a room booked in a night club. It was supposed to be couples and masquerade themed. My guy didn't want to go with me because it seemed boring and he had no interest in meeting my friends. He went out of his way to arrange our gay friend to go with me so I wouldn't be alone and would have a guy with me. On the night of the party the friend came over while I was getting ready and we had some drinks, my ex then changed his mind and decided to come. This wouldn't be a problem but he also said it was ok that his scummy brother comes along (that's another story) he had promised me that the brother wouldn't be in the booked room and he would stay downstairs in the main club with him. But in they came. I was annoyed because his brother was being really inappropriate with my friend, saying he would take her in the bathroom and show her a good time. He was taking photo's up girls dresses/skirts and asking for girls numbers everywhere (he had a gf and I was also warned by my ex not to be alone with him) my guy ended up not speaking to me for the night because I was annoyed that he wouldn't remove him. When we got back to his house he wouldn't let me go home and told me to shut up and go to bed. I sat on the bed sobbing that I just wanted to go home and he laughed and laughed in my face pointing at me. When I tried to leave he lifted me by my coat, breaking the buttons and my necklace and threw me against the wall. In anger I lifted a photo frame of us and smashed him over the head, in retaliation he punched the wardrobe right beside my head and broke his little finger, I ran out of the apartment. I sat on the curb outside crying because I didn't know how to get home. After maybe half an hour he came out and took me back inside. He told me to please go to sleep and just leave in the morning. After that event we broke up for maybe 5/6 months. I started to feel lonely and stupidly started talking to him again.
After this we moved in together. We rented a house where he was originally from but was much further for me. It resulted in me having to get a train and bus to work everyday or come home. His reasoning was there were no houses for rent where I lived. At this time I worked a pretty crap sales job, I made minimum wage and only worked 16 hours a week. So giving half of my money to him to cover rent/food etc and buying my train and bus ticket left me with £10 a week to my name. I was further away from my friends (who he didn't like me spending time with, they were bad influences) I had a male friend that I grew up with and I viewed him like a brother. He told me I had to cut contact with him as I wouldn't like it if the role was reversed (even though he had several close female friends) he spent his time trying to get me to be friends with his friends, and I didn't get them, they were all older and we had nothing in common. Once he asked one girl to spend the day with me shopping or just anything because I had no friend's. I was so embarrassed when he told me. The fact I couldn't go see my actual friends when I wanted and was alone already made me feel sensitive. It also didn't help that early in our relationship he told me he had only ever slept with his ex before me, I then found out he had actually slept with a few of these other female friends for various reasons. One had a fight with her bf and got into his bed wanting a hug and crying which apparently escalated. One apparently climbed ontop of him while he was sleeping when his house mate had a house party etc. One was single at the same time as he was and they thought why not see. That's what I was told anyway.
The town where he lived was dying and had very little going for it. Apart from the nice scenery walking my dog I had nothing to do. With this going on I began to fall into a slump. I worked, came home and slept. He began getting irritated if was sitting/sleeping on the sofa after work as his pc was in the living room and he said he felt like I was always watching him. I made the small room upstairs into my own little space with my computer to play games on and sometimes he would sneak really quietly into the room to try and see if/who I was talking to online. I ended up going to my GP to talk to someone and that turned to my first experience of antidepressants and beta blockers for my panic attacks. This cut down my sex drive immensely, and he would often argue that I "just lay there" or wouldn't do anything for him. I was applying for jobs with no luck. I went to speak to an advisor and they actually said "have you ever considered getting pregnant?" I ended up taking 2 weeks holiday in my job so I could adjust to the pills as I was feeling ill. I temporarily moved back home to learn to drive as maybe that would help me. I ended up getting a new job in a kitchen in the city centre, meaning I was getting my first full time job and would only have to get a train now. My ex told me to stop the driving lessons as I no longer needed them, and just move back as I had money now. And I did.
In my previous job all women worked in the store. In this new job it was a lot more mixed, I was the only female chef but I got a long with mostly everyone. I met my best friend here and we were in a small friend group of 4, our manager jokingly named us the breakfast club because we were all so different. My female best friend, our gay friend and a Romanian guy who was still learning English. We became really inseparable and would often plan day trips, cinema, dinner's and nights out. We had a group chat and constantly talked and sent memes. I felt happy having friends again. Over time my guy became extremely paranoid, he didn't want me working or spending time around other guys. He told me men are like hungry wolves and you can't trust them, and how he had worked in McDonald's when he was young and everyone slept with everyone etc. I finally had money and friends and he wanted me to quit. I loved the job and the people and often if anyone had to go home sick/hurt I always offered to stay to close. This also didn't help with the paranoia. It got to a point that I had to send him my new work schedule every week and had to have a "good reason" for doing overtime.
As time went on he started to accuse me of cheating on him. If I went out with my friends or even to visit my parents he would tell me (if you're fucking anyone tonight then don't bother coming home). This got more and more frequent and he began smoking and drinking a lot more. Often I would come home from work late at night and instantly be yelled at. There was another incident where he punched the wall again re breaking the finger, he couldn't play guitar anymore and said it was my fault. At this point he was roughly 31 in our relationship and began a friendship with a work colleague who was 18. I never met her once, and he would often go on nights out with her and her friends. The few times I woke up in the night and he wasn't home I rang him panicked thinking is he ok. He would answer "what?" When he came home that would be another argument that he's a grown ass man and can look after himself and I shouldn't be worried about his safety. This continued and some nights I began sleeping on the sofa because I couldn't stand the smell of the smoke and I was afraid to be yelled at while he was drunk. He came home once with every button on his shirt broken that I bought him for a birthday and said a guy did it for a joke and leave it at that. One night he blew up at me resulting in me having a panic attack and I actually felt like I would die. I couldn't breath and my face started to change colour. When he noticed he finally stopped yelling and started slapping my back and squeezing me. I sat on the floor and sobbed and said I was going back home. We didn't talk again properly for about a month, and then he sent a message saying he needed to talk/apologize. I went back to listen to what he had to say and somehow by the end he was saying he loved me and I need to come home. I didn't get a word in before it turned to him taking off my clothes to have "make up sex" and before I knew it I was back. We planned a holiday away for a week, to reconnect and try and have some dates again. It was mostly really great. We did have a minor argument because he was actively telling me how hot this very young looking Spanish girl was, and during one of the days he made me have sex by the glass doors leading out to the pool at our apartment. But when we returned home it was just as aweful. In our time together I learned he hated having his photo taken and put on social media. So I only took 3/4 photos, a few nice ones of him standing looking out at the beach etc. But that was suddenly an issue that I hadn't plastered his holiday pictures all over my Facebook etc. We went straight back to the old routine, being accused of cheating.
At this point we'd been together a long time. Constantly family members asking when we would marry and all my friends starting families. Maybe it was the fear of missing out but suddenly I wanted the same. I spoke to him about marriage and he was very clear it's something he doesn't ever want (you don't need a piece of paper with permission to be with someone) one night I got home from work and he had hand written and framed his own wedding certificate saying Mr and Mrs such and such and said "there you go!". The talk of a baby was also quickly shut down with the reason being "if you have a kid then you always have to be a part of that person's life if it doesn't work out".
At this point I don't even think it was entirely the antidepressants. I didn't even want to touch him. He made me uncomfortable, always walking on eggshells. He stank of cigarettes and beer. I constantly had to clean the house. Around his desk there would be piles of beer tins and used tissues... We were eating take out everyday apart from my 2 days off work. I started putting on weight and he was wanting more money towards rent and food etc. He was still going out with 18/19 year old girls to parties etc. This went on for another 5 months until one day it hit me that "this is it" and if I don't leave something bad will happen . My friend group at work generally noticed I wasn't ok. My best friend started to tell me that I'm being gas lit among other things. And that I needed out, and finally I was able to tell him it was over. We cried a lot and parted ways. It was hard because I had to go back to gather my stuff in multiple taxis or a van. Sometimes I needed his help as I had given the key back or items were heavy. On one occasion he asked how I was and then touched my belly saying I had lost a lot of weight...His eyes started watering and he went to the garden to smoke. About 20 minutes after this as I was gathering my stuff the younger work colleague came by (apparently they had plans to order pizza and watch a movie) this is also the first time I ever saw her and didn't even get a hello or anything, I guess it was an awkward first meeting.
He didn't tell his family I left him. Some months later his brother saw me at a club with my work friends and text him along the lines of he'd finally caught me cheating. He then told the family and his mother was apparently very disappointed. I doubt they know how everything went though. He did also message me to tell me this and asked me to tell him truthfully had I cheated/had I slept with any of the work guys since breaking up..
He moved to live in another country. Sold all of his items on gumtree etc, including some of mine. I had a large gas BBQ that my mum gifted for our house, when I asked for it back he tried to say I already had it, then said it must have been stolen.
He also messaged me a year afterwards trying to say he had made a huge mistake and would I be willing to move in and try again... Of course I said no. Again in 2020 ish he messaged saying he had a weird request. He wanted to become friends again as apparently no one knew him like I and he stupidly pushed me, his best friend away. He didn't want me to remain angry at how he treated me etc. Again I declined saying I don't know if that would ever be something I would feel comfortable with and also that I'm dating someone and that's not fair on him.
I haven't had any contact since then.
I'll never truly know but I honestly feel like he cheated on me because of how hellbent he was that I was doing so to him. The whole thing has left me with some bad trust issues. I don't want to be the paranoid girlfriend not allowing partners to go out or have female friends etc.
Apologies for the lengthy post and thank you to anyone who takes the time to read. I do feel like I've forgotten some things, or a bit too personal for here and I feel like this is so long already!
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to abusesurvivors [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:33 MathInternational joining in to share / give and receive support
Found this sub recently and I thought I would share my story. I am not the best writer so forgive me if this does not flow so well. About 18 months ago, during a move I got severe pain in my abdomen, really severe. I chalked it up to stress from the move, but I was useless for about 3 days and eventually it went away. During this time I was in bed and did not eat a thing and had those recurring "cramps" that are oh so painful, but really I thought it was stress so no action on my part.
About 6 months after that I had another episode. I tried to deal with it, my wife was out of town so I just stayed in bed and hoped it would go away. Finally the pain was to much and I went to the hospital. After some tests the determined AP, admitted me and refused me food for 5 days :). Found out later that is an old method of treating AP but the hospital was very small in the middle of BFE LOL. this hospital did CT scan and ultrasound but other that inflammation found no stones or anything unusual.
Anyway, pain never really went away and I started having some other issues (stool, weight loss etc) you guys know the drill. I was afraid to eat, constant pain in my back, miserable. I ended up at a gastro doctor that ordered an mrcp referred me to another doctor for an ercp. However this doctor did not feel an, ercp was warranted based on my mrcp results, and just did an eus. Anyway the results from these test again showed no stones or anything unusual in the gallbladder or ducts.
Still, I was having issues and because I have history at the Mayo clinic I convinced them to look at my tests. Mayo doctors determined my mrcp showed pancreas duct dilatation and agreed to see me. So I go to MN to have another CT and based on those results possible ercp. New CT showed my duct was getting worse in the short time between tests, which were about 6 months apart. Suggested ercp with possible stent placement based on findings. In the meantime I had numerous blood tests testing for cancer markers, genetic, triglycerides and autoimmune causes. All thankfully came back negative. I think my case was perplexing them.
I should add that I am(was) a very occasional drinker. It's funny in the beginning the doctors kept telling me to stop drinking. When I denied drinking the would test my liver enzymes and they would be normal. Like so many times they told me to stop drinking it was pissing me off. Anyway,
Went in for my ercp / stent procedure at Mayo thinking I would finally find something out. Woke up from the procedure with doctor standing over me in the recovery room. First thing he says to me "ambulance is on the way, I'm sending you to St Mary's (the hospital)" I was like WTF is going on? Told me they decided to place the stent but the duct was so restricted that the guide wire they use broke. In addition the stent is in the wrong place. To top it off on the short ride to the hospital that familiar pain started coming back, yup all this triggered and AP episode. 4 days in the hospital, they wanted me longer but I begged them to let me go home. At least this time I got food :)
So after all that, they wanted to do surgery to remove a portion of my pancreas, my gallbladder and my spleen. So far I have denied them that option. I have found a surgeon local to me that has agreed to monitor me and take the wait and see approach, even though I have been advised I can reach a point of no return. I have CT scans set up every few months to make sure the wire is not moving and monitor my pancreas.
Also I need to get the stent out but I am terrified it will cause another attack, that appt is coming soon and I have dread :(
I did have a stool test and of course have high fecal fat and low elastase (108) so I am on creon and that seems to help. Diet change helps, and of course a fantastic family that has been supporting me through this.
Anyway that's my story, sorry it was so long.
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to pancreatitis [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:33 bizaweb Remote Technical Executive Assistant position available
This is a remote role and the candidate can be located anywhere around the world. Would prefer candidates that are outside of the US.
Computer science or IT background , highly proficient and comfortable with technical tasks and concepts 4 - 10 years of experience in Project Management, Strategy, and/or Business Operations roles in high-growth organizations or management consulting Exceptional written and verbal communication skills, with the ability to influence and communicate cross-functionally with all levels of leadership across the organization Experience with a technical and global organization, having built strong partnerships with stakeholders across diverse cultures and backgrounds Excellent problem-solving skills Ability to thrive in an ambiguous and constantly changing environment
• Support our CEO in developing, formalizing and implementing strategies around every aspect of company growth and organizational improvement
• Build the office of the CEO: Work closely with the CEO on evolving consistent and meaningful messaging from CEO’s office (ex: investor updates, all hands, etc.)
• Align leadership team actions and communications in support of agreed upon core business objectives and core business KPIs
• Meet with team members to filter and disseminate information to bring to CEO’s attention
• Attend meetings to capture major takeaways and feedback for CEO
• Assume ownership of our internal leadership and investor meetings, managing the cadence, sharing materials in advance, measuring their effectiveness and ensuring objectives are achieved
• Drive meeting preparation, ensuring the CEO has the key information to be as productive as possible, and sending out agendas or other documents to meeting attendees as needed
• Operationalize key organizational initiatives based on direction from our CEO, monitor the status and push them forward
• Willing to do tedious admin work including arranging meetings, handling email exchanges, scouting candidates, reaching to potential candidates, email drafting, email clean up, administrative clean up and note-taking
We’re looking for an organized note taking, effective, attentive and highly communicative individual who keeps track of what has been discussed, the goals, milestones and timelines without having to be reminded or to be told what to do or how their time is spent. They should be independent, self motivated, self sufficient and can quickly and transparently communicate any issues, gaps or questions/misgivings clearly and straightforward to avoid confusion, missed timelines or missing deliverables.
Above all they are a team player, who is hungry to learn, leaves ego at the door agrees we are all working towards the same goal and will successful if we work together in an efficient respectful, highly communicative and open environment. They bring their all to the table with the understanding that we all are working together towards a goal that if successful will benefit us all.
This multifaceted position revolves around working on admin, marketing, growth, product strategy, scouting, fundraising, investor relations, agile management, team dynamics and management of general operations, and general assistance to the CEO.
As Chief of Staff, they will provide high level strategic support and program management to help us grow, scale and run the business more effectively. They will lead day-to-day operations, ensuring the efficient management of the CEO’s attention.
This role will hold several different responsibilities, many of which might vary depending on the company’s current/future needs.
● Learn about Tech, startups, fundraising, working and running a team, and building a product.
● the opportunity to have a significant role, and participate in something new on the ground floor with a small team.
● Lots of great responsibility and multifaceted things to do that determine and strongly influence the direction and voice of a product- if that is what you like.
I also have other positions available. Let me know if you are interested. You can send me a message. Thanks.
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to JobFair [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:26 CoreyNK What's Up At Ninja Kiwi - 9th June 2023
| || | submitted by CoreyNK to NinjaKiwiOfficial [link] [comments]
Hey everyone! Welcome to this week's blog with the NK team!
What’s been going on this week?
BTD6 Update 37.0 is rolling out! Filled with a magical new paragon, a community-designed map, new quests, a new hero skin and a wonderful 5th birthday celebration!
Be sure to check out the full update notes conjured here
Following on from our in-game celebrations, we will also be doing a week of giveaways on our Twitter! Each day for 5 days, 5 winners will be randomly selected to get some awesome NK merch! This will be exclusively for Twitter so make sure to follow us for your chance to win!
https://twitter.com/ninjakiwigames Central Establishment Race results:
1st: Wonyoung <3 - 1 minute 42.75 seconds 2nd: Vueroeruko - 1 minute 43.35 seconds 3rd: Ultra - 1 minute 43.53 seconds 4th: YT: ZT BTD6 - 1 minute 43.85 seconds 5th: Mertex - 1 minute 44.67 seconds
This weekend's focus: - BTD6 -
Pile O' Monkey Money and T3 Insta Monkeys on sale. Ongoing "Late Start" Odyssey, ending Wednesday. "Urvhwwd Vwrqh" Race this weekend. Bloonarius Least Cash, will be appearing on The Cabin this weekend, starting Friday and ending Thursday. Upcoming Contested Territory, Starting Tuesday. - Battles 2 -
Ongoing Season 12 ending June 21st. Gwen Sports Fan showcase, ending Thursday 15th. Ongoing Bananza, ending Monday - Bloons Pop -
Friday: Yellow Bloon Popper Saturday: White Bloon Popper Sunday: Level Smasher Party Goal: Merge Monkeys, ending Sunday. Power Up Mania, starting after. Auto Fast Forward, Vault of Monkey Money, 3rd Canister, Barrel of Bloonstones and Bloonstones on sale. Ongoing BFB Adventure, ending Wednesday Double Rewards starting Friday, ending Monday. - BTD Battles -
Professor Evil appearing this weekend. With a second tougher one starting Tuesday and ending Thursday. Friday: MOAB - BFB, BFB Cards, BFB Boosts Only Saturday: MOAB, MOAB Cards, MOAB Card Club - BFB, BFB Club Sunday: MOAB, MOAB R3 Speed, MOAB Cards - BFB Random 15, BFB Boosts Only Monday: MOAB, MOAB Boosts Only 2x Medallions with Bag of Medallions and Chest of Medallions on sale. - BATTD -
Ongoing Martian games: No Trinkets, More Regrow, More Fortified. Clones, More Shields, More Fortified starting on Saturday. Flame Princess Adventure Pack, Jake Adventure Pack and Character Bundle pack on sale. - SAS4 Mobile -
VS on Friday, LMS on Saturday and APOC with Black Box as rewards on Sunday. Sales on nantos, NV vet pack, Epic pack and 10th premium gun set: T189, CM Starfury and Banshee - BTD5 -
Ongoing Totem Event, ending Monday Wizard Skin and Monkey Money on sale.
Questions from the comments: is magus perfectus baller?
You tell us! Did we hit the mark? What do you love or not love about them? Has the Magus Perfectus met the original Wizard Lord before? If so, what was their experiences with each other?
The Magus was just careful not to be the most expensive tower on the map, and everything was fine! :) We have fanmade ideas for maps in the game. Are you open to adding other fanmade content such as skins or bosses?
We love seeing all your art and concepts for skins and bosses! For the time being, we are only looking at community maps to put into BTD6! But check out this poll to have your say on the next hero alt for Battles 2! https://ninja.kiwi/b2heroalt Can PoD reanimate monkeys?
There are some lines no Monkey dares cross… Will we ever get an story mode or something?
We love how the lore of Bloons is evolving and are really excited about where our Quests may take us… now with Scoop joining the team, we might have even more room to explore stories in the Blooniverse. How is the wizard paragon get it's beard?
When any monkey becomes a powerful enough wizard, they can just magic their beards into existence! We know that the bloons have tried to spy on monkeys before (in monkey city) but have the monkeys ever spied on the bloons?
The M.I.B are always trying to keep an eye on the Bloons' dastardly plans! Why does Captain Churchill turn his tank around when he is not popping Bloons?
He just really likes driving his tank, it also helps keep it from getting stuck! Do Wolfpack Quincy and the Cave Monkey know each other? If so, what are their opinions of each other?
They do have a lot of similarities even being from different times in the world! They both love the outdoors and popping bloons and will often go on long treks through the wilderness to find the perfect scenic spots! What is Gwen's favourite thing to cause drama over?
Who ships who in her favourite telenovela! Hello NK team! The update isn't out yet, but I can already tell I'll love Sauda's Jiangshi skin. Did the team have any inspiration from any particular Jiangshi character, or is it based on the general popular depiction?
Jiangshi Sauda was inspired by the Korean zombie show, Kingdom, set in traditional times. Zombies and traditional clothing lead to the well-known Jiangshi in Chinese folklore! Is the polar bear on erosion going to be okay??? I hope there will be enough ice for him to stand on. I don't want to see him fall.
Remember, Polar bears are great swimmers, they love to make a splash! Whenever a new skin is released, is it because dr monkey found a new alternate reality? Or does a rift or portal appear and drop off a new variant of a hero?
Yes… What’s your thoughts on a tack shooter paragon?
Oof! Be careful where you step! What are the heroes' housing situations like? Me and a friend have a joke that Ezili and Ben got their houses mixed up by mistake, so now Ezili lives in a penthouse and Ben lives in a cave.
Ben will happily camp out wherever he can get a good wifi signal and a PowerPoint to plugin! Although he may return home to find Smudge has taken over his gaming chair! WHY DOES THE BEAST HANDLERS NOT USE THEIR STICK LIKE THE MEGALODON'S LOOKS LIKE IT COULD DO SOME DAMAGE
They didn’t spend all that time training the animals to pop bloons for nothing! How much does it cost to buy a spike factory, and where can I buy one. I have an idea…
I do not think the monkeys would let us have a spike factory without proving we would only use it for good!
Have a great weekend and happy gaming! -Ninja Kiwi Team
2023.06.09 02:20 unoriginal_wolf Base camp 🏕
Supplies acquired and new friend made. It's been a surprisingly easy day, rest up here for a while, tomorrow is another battlefield and another enemy.
Ration pile: 🥗🥗🥗
Ammo pile: 📦📦📦
Wolf pen: 🧱🐺🍵🍖🧱
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to AspieIsland [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:19 PKPerfumes Oxidation of Alcohol to aldehyde, and how to arrest the reaction.
Hi, Perfumer here, I already do some benchtop chemistry making schiff bases for use in Perfumes. but, I'm trying to make an aldehyde version of an alcohol. I can readily buy the alcohol, but cannot buy the aldehyde, and am endeavoring to make it. The aldehyde is rather potent/strong in odor, and I can live with having a solution that is both aldehyde and alcohol to use in a fragrance.
So, parameters are, results need to be skin safe, relatively ph neutral, and retain a stability of the aldehyde in the alcohol, without letting the aldehyde morph even more to a less desirable molecule. Target is the aldehyde, of course.
I already ran a test of adding acetic acid at about 1% of the alcohol content. Could smell the aldehyde desired, but the reaction ran past what I wanted, and odor level / presumed content of aldehyde diminished The alcohol is oily, aldehyde is oily, and the solution clouded up a bit with the likely presence of H2O byproduct. I can also live with a slightly cloudy solution when finished, as a bit of extra H2O content in the blend won't be problematic once added to ethyl alcohol and water perfume substrate.
I'm counting on being able to separate oil from water, and so I want to ask:
Q: Can I neutralize the acid with Alkaline water, so that the oil and water will separate out and I'm left with a blend of alcohol and stabilized target aldehyde?
Or do I need something stronger than alkaline water to neutralize the small amount of acetic acid?
Thanks for your thoughts.
submitted by PKPerfumes
to chemistry [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:18 cicada-hooman KaiJune Tabletop Game Bundle
KaiJune Tabletop Game Bundle https://itch.io/b/1881/kaijune-tabletop-bundle
Myself and 2 other indie game designers put together a small $5 USD kaiju tabletop game bundle for KaiJune. All of them are digital and print & play, use them as PDFs or print them out on your home printer.
Games Included: Caltrop Kaiju
- A gigantic, rampaging kaiju (giant monster) has shown up in your home town and is destroying everything! You must head out to observe the kaiju to find its weakness, then pass on what you know to the military at their secret base so they can defeat this monster - all while trying not to get eaten! A singleplayer tabletop rpg which can be played in ten minutes as a tense, tactical puzzle, or in a couple of hours as a journaling/story game.
- A rules light game where 2-4 kaiju battle it out in a fight for might to become top dog of the city. In the centre of the city is the Capitol Building, a huge spire that the kaiju scramble up as they slash at each other with tooth and claw.
Kaiju Don't Care About You
- A single player kaiju survival game played with a Jenga tower and dice. Contains 2 adventures and rules. First adventure, you are trapped in a crumbling building during a kaiju attack and you must escape before it collapses. The Jenga tower represents the building. If the Jenga tower falls the building collapses killing your character. Second adventure, you are part of a secret multinational team to study the results of a classified weapon, your research ship gets lost in a fog and runs aground on an uncharted island inhabited by mushrooms. The Jenga tower represents your character's health and sanity. The game was 272% funded on Kickstarter. Kickstarter Link
Link to KaiJune Tabletop Game Bundle: https://itch.io/b/1881/kaijune-tabletop-bundle
submitted by cicada-hooman
to GODZILLA [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:16 Dew_It-8 Mixed Lineage: an optional rule to you to play characters with two parents from different species
Base statistics Choose two species options that are Humanoid to represent your parents. Choose one of them to be your base game statistics. You can then mix and match visual characteristics (such as color, ear shape, and etc) of the two species.
For example, if your character has a halfling and a gnome parent, you might choose Halfling for your base game statistics and then decide that your character has the pointed ears that are characteristic of a gnome.
The following changes or additional traits are shown below:
(Note: the gothic lineages from van richten's guide do not count as they are lineages not species)
Life span (change) Average the lifespan of both species to figure out how long your character might live.
For example, a child of a human and an elf has an average life span of 390 years
Size (change) If the two species are different sizes or at least one of them gives you an option to be small or medium, you can choose to be small or medium.
For example, a child of a Goliath and halfling can choose to be small or medium
Spells (additional trait) If one of the species has a trait from either race that gives you spells (such as the genasi, duergar, deep gnome, or aarakocra), you can choose to have that trait as well. If both of the species give you spells, you gain the trait below:
Innate spellcasting (additional trait) You know one of the species’ cantrips. Starting at 3rd, you can cast one of 1st level spells your species gets. Starting at 5th, you can cast one of the 1st or 2nd level spells your species gets. Once you cast either spell with this trait, you can’t cast that spell with it again until you finish a long rest. You can also cast either of those spells using any spell slots you have of the appropriate level.
Intelligence, wisdom or charisma is your spellcasting ability for these spells when you cast them with this trait (choose when you select this lineage)
For example: if you are a child of a fire genasi and water genasi, you can choose produce flame or acid splash at 1st level. At 3rd level, you can then choose create or destroy water, or burning hands. At 5th level, you can choose one of the options you had at 3rd level or flame blade but not water walk, since it is a 3rd level spell.
Unarmed strikes (additional trait) If one of the species has a trait that improves your unarmed strike damage (such as talons, horns, claws or bite), you can choose to have that trait as well. If both of the species improve your unarmed strike damage, you can choose to have both.
For example: if you are a child of a Minotaur and Lizardfolk, you can choose to have both bite and horns.
Natural armour (additional trait) If one of the species has a trait that increases your armour class (such as the tortle, Lizardfolk or warforged). you can choose to have that trait as well. If both of the species increase your armour class, you can choose either one.
For example: if you are a child of a Lizardfolk and Tortle, you can choose to have either the tortle’s natural armour or the lizardfolk’s natural armour.
Damage resistance (additional trait) If one of the species has a trait that gives you resistance to damage (such as the tiefling, aasimar, duergar, or Goliath) you can choose to have that resistance. If both of the species gives you resistance to different damage types, you can choose either one.
For example: if you are a child of a tiefling and Goliath, You can choose to have resistance fire damage or cold damage.
Extra speed (additional trait) If one of the species has a trait that gives you an additional movement speed (such as swim, climb or burrow) you can choose to have that trait (unless it is fly). If both races gives you an additional movement speed, you can choose either one.
For example: if you are a child of a tabaxi and triton, you can choose to have a climb or swim speed.
Skills (additional trait) If neither of the species gives you any additional trait or you choose not to have any additional traits (such as extra speed, unarmed strikes, damage resistance, natural armour and spells), you can choose to gain proficiency in two skills of your choice.
submitted by Dew_It-8
to DnDHomebrew [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:13 fireballhoe Looking for tips, new to this
Hi all, 23m here and I wanna start camping, but I lack a lot of equipment so I'm looking to start small with a ~3 day car-camping trip out of state. Might make it a bi-weekly thing, who knows. It's mainly to stress-test my independence and over time learn a thing or two about survival (starting fires, camping etiquette, hunting? etc.).
I drive an '07 Civic. Might not be the best for sleeping but I'll figure it out. What is absolutely essential to have and what should I know? Thanks in advance
submitted by fireballhoe
to carcamping [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:11 totalstatemachine Detailed trapper guide
| || | submitted by totalstatemachine to deadbydaylight [link] [comments]
Much like many others who saw the developer Q&A from yesterday, I was disappointed when they announced no significant changes coming for their poster boy killer, the trapper. The trapper is an outdated killer and I question the logic of leaving him untouched simply based on kill rate and accessibility for newer players. However
, despite popular opinion here and elsewhere, I believe the trapper is still a very viable killer provided you know how to play him. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen people claim you need to go full on basement trapper to have a decent result, you cannot win vs good survivors with the trapper, etc etc….none of which I find to be true.
Before we go any further though, you might be asking, who am I and why should you listen to me? Well, I’ve been a trapper main for many years and my win rate tracks north of 70% last I checked. I have played trapper against survivors of all skill levels, including members of competitive teams and I am ranked just outside the top fifty in the world in trap catches. I make no claims to being the ‘best’ trapper player nor would I ever do so – I simply have confidence in my ability to play this killer with a reasonable amount of success.
Without further ado, let’s get started!
Making a good perk build for the trapper is relatively simple – unless you’re going for a more ‘fun’ build, you need perks that will address his shortcomings.
That’s why my first pick is the longtime trapper standard, Corrupt Intervention
. Corrupt gives us time at the start to set traps without having to worry about gens popping left and right. Even if you get a down relatively early and the perk expires, you still got value for having some time to set up traps and denying survivors from spawning in on gens.
Trapper could also use some help chase wise, as at the end of the day he is primarily an m1 killer and there will be times when your traps don’t work as well as they would like. Therefore, my second pick is Save the Best for Last
. Trapper has no m2 attack to conserve stacks, but we can gain additional stacks by hitting survivors out of traps they step in and if the obsession steps in one, we can simply lift them out and lose no stacks at all. This perk gives him some much-needed lethality and provides us with something to lean on when we’re forced to play machete boy.
Trapper also needs some more active slowdown, as his best time is in the mid or late game and it’s extremely helpful to slow the game down. That’s why I finished my build with Pop Goes the Weasel
. Jolt is a very good trapper perk and pairs well with our chase perk, STBFL – if a survivor steps in a trap, we can hit them out to both get a stack of STBFL and proc Jolt, and since your traps will usually be near areas with generators (more on this later), we can more consistently get value from this than other killers. Pop Goes the Weasel is certainly not the perk it once was but having run it for some time I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the value provided. It works best on gens with fair bit of progress, but coming across such well progressed gens as trapper is rather common (unfortunately). It is also getting a solid buff to bring the regression up to 30% of current, which is nice.
The trapper is a very addon dependent killer. Without them, we have two traps on hand, they arm somewhat slowly and can be disarmed with no real penalty to the survivors – and, oh yeah, this is without mentioning that you must go around collecting all of them. That’s why, in my opinion, our best addon choices are ones that make our traps more dangerous or allow us to progress through the map without having to constantly rearm traps in the process.
My personal favorite trapper addon is the Iridescent Stone
. Iri stone mitigates one of trapper’s biggest weaknesses and allows us to ‘set and forget’. It is also a lifesaver on maps where hiding your traps is impractical and you’re forced to use them more for pallet or loop denial.
My second choice would be the Honing Stone
. While this addon does little if we herd survivors into traps (we’re already there to grab/hit them, after all) you will have many situations when someone away from your location steps into a trap. In many scenarios, you will not be able to get there fast enough – after all, they could escape on their first attempt! Not with this they can’t. Anyone that frees themselves will go into the dying state, and even if they do call out for a teammate to assist them, that’s still
taking another survivor off gens to assist their teammate. While not perfect, sometimes this addon can turn around games that were otherwise looking like a surefire loss.
So, you might be asking, why not the Trapper Sack
? I completely understand those that wish to take it. Having all your traps on hand from the beginning is a gamechanger and makes certain maps where our trap spawn RNG is so punishing, like Borgo, much more manageable. It is a very powerful addon. The drawback of not being able to pick up your traps, however, can be considerable with my style of playing trapper, so I don't personally prefer it.
This is where the meat of this mini guide will be. Keep in mind this is just how I play trapper – others may have their own successful styles, and that’s to be expected! Setup phase
As you spawn into the map, the best thing to do at the start is identify the side of the map with the most generators. It may seem like an obvious statement, but we don’t want to place traps where survivors have no reason to be. Once we’ve done that, we can start trapping up strategic loops and/or strong structures in this area. One mistake I see a lot of newer trappers make is overcommitting to this phase. Having one gen pop while you set up is normal, sometimes two. If a third gens pops by the time you’ve finished, however, you’ve left yourself with little room for error – your better hope
your grand plan works. For this reason, I find it best to set around three reliable traps in the beginning. The rest you can set either during chase or after hooking survivors (not within their field of vision, of course – we don’t want our traps being called out immediately). Trapping pallet loops
Traps placed in loops will often be your bread and butter. For a common pallet loop, I suggest trapping off to the side of the loop rather than placing a trap right in the path of the pallet, ideally within some foliage, if available, or the side facing away from an object like a generator or a hook. When that survivor comes to the loop, we can then herd them around the loop and into our trap. Survivors like to hug loops tightly, and we can take advantage of this. If you’re on a map like The Game, however, you will often have little choice but to drop your trap in the path of the pallet – hardly ideal, but even if they abandon the area rather than stepping into the trap, we can sandwich them into a hit and deny use of the pallet. It is very important that we don’t place the trap in the middle
of the pallet, however, as survivors can then just drop the pallet directly over the trap and vault over. You must carefully place the trap at the ‘lip’ of the pallet not only to avoid this, but also to cover the path sufficiently so survivors can’t worm their way around the trap (argh, so frustrating!) when running the loop.
Trap placed on side of pallet loop Trapping jungle gyms
There are a few ways we can attack the jungle gym. Often the front of the jungle gym will have a small patch of grass leading from the pallet side back to the open area towards the window, and we can catch survivors here. My personal favorite, however, is to trap the corner coming from the window vault going towards the pallet. Quite often, survivors will hug this loop after vaulting and step directly into the trap.
Jungle Gym front trap
Jungle gym corner trap Trapping shack
The shack can be a strong structure to trap. There are many ways we can trap the shack, from placing the trap at the window, just before the pallet door or on the window side of shack within foliage. However, if the shack pallet is still up, I recommend simply placing the trap at the pallet door. This may seem too obvious, but many survivors, especially at higher levels of play, are quite wise to traps being placed on the side of shack and will avoid grass or foliage like the plague with plenty of room to still make the window even if you’re in chase. Using the trap at the pallet door gives them no choice but to deal with it, and it can prove especially strong assuming we’ve taken the iri stone addon. Faking traps
Baiting the survivor into thinking we’re going to trap an untrapped pallet, for example, can be quite useful. If you’re chasing a survivor and they come across a rather strong pallet to play, start the trap setting process and cancel it after about one second. Quite often, survivors will bail rather than take a chance at being stuck at the loop, and we can chase them to a less favorable area. Addons such as the Trapper Gloves and Fastening Tools speed up our trap setting speed and make it more difficult for survivors to tell if we’re simply faking it or committing to setting the trap, and there will be occasions when a survivor gets overly confident, and the trap will be set before they abandon the loop. Survivors downed within a pallet
Survivors going down inside a pallet or crawling underneath an undropped pallet is quite common in DBD. This makes most killers think twice about picking up lest they get a pallet dropped on their head. As a trapper, though, we have a trick up our sleeve. By trapping the most vulnerable side of the pallet, we can deny pallet saves or in our best case scenario, even catch a would-be rescuer unawares and into the waiting jaws of our trap! Hidden/clipped traps
These are the sneakiest and sometimes most controversial traps. There are certain areas where traps will clip into or under the environment and make them essentially invisible. Finding locations for these is a lot of fun, but keep in mind that these could be patched out or erased when maps are redesigned, so enjoy them while you can.
Under wood pile on Pale Rose ship
Under floorboards at the shrine on Sanctum of Wrath Hidden in the rubble pile stairway on Midwich
There are many more tips, tricks and analysis I could give, but this guide is meant to be an introduction into basic gameplay for the trapper. I am working on a more extensive guide that will cover every
map in DBD, perk choices, alternate builds and so on, but this will take some time. I hope you enjoyed reading it, and I hope it inspires a few of you to pick up ol’ Evan for a couple games if nothing else. Happy trapping!
2023.06.09 02:10 Marketspike The Biotech sector is getting hot. $SILO Pharma may be next...
$SILO Pharma: Advancing Innovative Solutions in Therapeutic Research with Psychedelics
Micro Cap Biotechs have been rewarding risk-tolerant investors recently as promising news have been announced throughout the biotech sector Introduction to SILO Pharma (NASDAQ:SILO)
In the fast-paced world of pharmaceutical research, companies that push the boundaries of innovation and develop groundbreaking therapies are highly sought after. SILO Pharma is one such company that has been making waves in the field of therapeutic research. With a commitment to improving patient outcomes and addressing unmet medical needs, SILO Pharma is at the forefront of developing novel treatments. We will delve into the work and achievements of SILO Pharma and explore the potential impact of their innovative approaches and potential investment returns for those risk-tolerant investors. A Commitment to Novel Therapies
SILO Pharma is dedicated to identifying and advancing innovative therapeutic solutions for various medical conditions. The company leverages cutting-edge technologies and scientific expertise to develop novel drugs that have the potential to revolutionize patient care. SILO Pharma focuses on both rare diseases and more common conditions, with the aim of improving the quality of life for patients worldwide. Harnessing the Power of Cannabinoids
One of the areas where SILO Pharma excels is in the research and development of cannabinoid-based therapies. Cannabinoids are naturally occurring compounds found in the cannabis plant and have shown promising therapeutic potential for a wide range of conditions, including chronic pain, neurological disorders, and psychiatric illnesses.
SILO Pharma has undertaken extensive research to understand the pharmacological properties of cannabinoids and their interaction with the human body's endocannabinoid system. By harnessing this knowledge, SILO Pharma is working on developing innovative cannabinoid-based therapies that can address unmet medical needs. Collaborative Approach to Research
SILO Pharma recognizes the importance of collaboration in advancing scientific research and therapeutic development. The company actively seeks partnerships with academic institutions, research organizations, and other pharmaceutical companies to leverage collective expertise and resources. This collaborative approach allows SILO Pharma to accelerate the discovery and development of innovative therapies while mitigating risks and optimizing the likelihood of success. Clinical Development Pipeline
SILO Pharma boasts an impressive clinical development pipeline, comprising several promising therapeutic candidates. Their portfolio includes investigational drugs targeting various indications such as cancer, neurological disorders, and autoimmune diseases, specifically, Alzheimer's, PTSD, Fibromyalgia, and Rheumatoid Arthritis.
These candidates are in different stages of clinical trials, ranging from early-phase studies to advanced trials, which reflects the company's commitment to translating scientific discoveries into meaningful treatments. Significantly for investors, there are up to five (5) drug compounds which are expected to enter clinical trials in the August-September 2023 time frame.
Several of SILO's therapeutics may qualify the company to pursue the FDA’s streamlined 505(b)(2) regulatory pathway for drug approval. This new drug application (NDA) process avoids unnecessary duplication of studies already performed on a previously approved drug, potentially saving clinical time and providing significant cost savings. SILO Pharma's Drug Pipeline: https://silopharma.com/our-pipeline-and-ip/ Intellectual Property Portfolio
SILO Pharma has been building its Patent Portfolio by filing patent applications and receiving issued patents with broad patent protection. IP Portfolios usually increase shareholder value has clinical trials prove the value and efficacy of the drug compound being tested and advancing to eventual market approval. Commitment to Patient-Centric Research
At the core of SILO Pharma's mission is a commitment to putting patients first. The company aims to develop therapies that not only address the underlying medical conditions but also improve the overall quality of life for patients. This patient-centric approach ensures that the unique needs and perspectives of individuals affected by various diseases are considered throughout the research and development process. Looking Ahead: Future Prospects
SILO Pharma's dedication to advancing innovative solutions in therapeutic research positions them well for future success. With a robust pipeline of candidates and a collaborative approach to research, the company has the potential to bring novel therapies to patients in need. As the field of cannabinoid research continues to evolve, SILO Pharma's expertise in this area gives them a competitive edge. The therapeutic potential of cannabinoids is vast, and SILO Pharma's focus on understanding their mechanisms of action and developing targeted therapies opens new possibilities for the treatment of various conditions. Technical Analysis
SILO Pharma has been trading around its 50 Day Moving Average of $2.17 with a breakout move above the 100 Day Moving Average of $2.27 confirming a positive trend in place. The Relative Strength Index (RSI) is a neutral 54 with room to the upside before becoming Overbought. Fundamental Analysis
Market Cap is a very low $7.013 Million with Shares Outstanding of 3.16. Public Float ---2 Million Shares.
52 Week Trading Range--- $0.17 - $12.25
Cash on Hand--- $4.66 million Near Term Catalysts SILO Pharma may announce up to three (3) drug candidates initiating clinical trials in August, followed by another two trials by October. There are few diversified biotechs with five drugs entering Phase 1 clinical trials with a $7 million market cap (and 60% of the market cap in the Cash on Hand on their balance sheet). Conclusion
SILO Pharma is an exciting player in the pharmaceutical industry, focusing on developing novel therapies to address unmet medical needs. Their commitment to innovation, collaborative approach, and patient-centric research make them a key contributor to the advancement of therapeutic solutions. As SILO Pharma continues to make strides in the development of cannabinoid-based therapies and other therapeutic areas, we can look forward to a future where patients have access to groundbreaking treatments that enhance their quality of life.
**Risk-tolerant investors interested in taking an initial position of a microcap biotech may consider monitoring the progress of SILO with a small position to encourage close monitoring for future corporate developments. However, doing your own due diligence is always encouraged before investing.
submitted by Marketspike
to pennystocks [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:08 bouncyhouse Complete Surprise!
I need to give a little back story here. I am sorry if this ends up a bit rambling:
I am 45 married poly mom of a lovely 6 year old. My husband is wonderful. We have been poly for i think about 15 years now. However, just before the birth of our child we closed to focus on our family. At the time we lived in a city with lots of options. Eventually we moved far away to a rural area that my family lived in. My husband travels for work. My family has been very helpful when he is away. But where we live is small and super conservative. Even if I wanted to look for anything, I would be really nervous to do it.
My husband and I have a very good relationship. However, we had a very hard time getting pregnant. Sex became a complete chore. Sadly, that kind of ended our sex life. I have not had sex in about 6 years. Honestly, most of the time it doesnt really bother me. I am getting older and dealing with pre menopause. But I was starting to wonder if my poly life and my sex life might just not be a thing anymore. The idea of explaining the no sex for that many years was kind of daunting to me.
We just started going back to festivals, burns and events. We had taken a huge break with the pandemic. Not long ago we went to a kid inclusive event. We switched off parenting nights, so each of us could go have fun. We got to see lots of friends we had not seen in a long time. The weekend was going wonderful. Our child was having an amazing time, making friends and loving life. My husband and I both were very very happy with how things were going.
I ended up having the last night of the event to myself. The weather was kind of crap and rainy. I was just kind of walking from tented social spaces to other tented social spaces. I ran into my old friend J. I have known him for 14 years. In fact the every first time I met him, I hit on him. He seemed interested, but never followed through. So, he has been a really fun friend that I see at events and sometimes hang out and laugh with. We started walking around together in between rain storms.
Eventually we ended up at his theme camp. The dj was playing an awesome set. There was a lovely tented social area and a dance floor. We grabbed two chairs and were chatting with some absolutely wonderful people. I wanted to go dance when a song i liked came on. I went up to dance and he stood up to walk with me. I am massively clumsy and did not see a giant tent spike and tripped hard. J caught me. He held me close for longer than was called for. My entire body blushed. After he let me go. I could not stop thinking about how his hands felt on me.
We went back to the social area and sat down. We were having conversations with other people. But my mind could not stop playing back how it felt when he touched me. At some point he reached over and took my hand. He made some serious eye contact and said" I have been kicking myself since we met, I am super awkward and it took me two weeks after we met to realize you were hitting on me". I laughed and said, "What"? He went on to explain that by the time he realized that I was interested in him, he couldnt do anything about it. When we did see each other again at many events over the years he felt he had missed his chance and felt he had waited too long. But he had a crush on me and always wished he had told me. I was STUNNED. I just did not see that coming.
The next several hours were spent holding hands and talking about everything. We spoke about our lives, our relationship history, and we talked about what this could mean to both of us. It was one of the most clear conversations I have ever had. I was very open about where I was sexually and that I had no idea where all that was going. He talked about his relationship with a partner who is really just super cool. J is not the primary with them and recently they started a relationship that has become their primary. That relationship is 90% not sexual and has not been in a very long time. So, J could relate a lot.
Eventually, J said he needed to make a drink. I asked if I could come make one as well. We ended up at his tent. I said that I would not mind some alone time with him. But I pretty much wanted to make out like teenagers and sex would be off the table. He was very agreeable. We spent hours and hours making out, talking and just holding each other. It was truly amazing.
We have since returned to our homes. We have been keeping up with each other mostly online, but the occasional phone and or webcam chat. It has been really nice. My husband has been very supportive. I also have tried not to be a complete nre explosion on him. (Partly, why i made this post). He knows what is going on, I just dont want to bombard him with details. He has been very happy for me. I did not think I would get to see J anytime soon. But my family and I are traveling at the end of June and J's location is not far out of our way as we travel ( it's about half way for us). So, i asked my husband, if he would be ok with me seeing J on the way down and on the way back. He said that would be fine and then did some rerouting to make it so that we are only 30 mins away from J for hour half way stops.
So, I have no idea what will happen. But my sexuality has started to come around again. I am wanting to also explore more with my husband if he is open to that. I think I had been shut off for so long, I forgot what it felt like to be turned on and happy with all of that.
Here I am at the new start of a poly journey. But honestly, I have never felt this comfortable and just good about a situation.
I just had to share. Thank you for reading this silly long post.
submitted by bouncyhouse
to polyamory [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:08 JohannGoethe Greek alphabet uses 24 letters; why do you keep speaking about a 28-letter alphabet?
| || | submitted by JohannGoethe to Alphanumerics [link] [comments]
The following is a question, asked yesterday, on why I always speak about the 28-letters
of the Greek alphabet:
“Small correction: the modern Greek alphabet uses 24 letters. I don't know what other letters you think exist; maybe you're referring to variations of the same letter or some other non-standard way of counting. There were variations of the Greek alphabet in the past, which I will address later.”
— LOL Cat User (A68/2023), ”Post to u/JohannGoethe”, Egyptian Hieroglyphs, Jun 7
As this question frequently reoccurs, sometimes on a monthly basis, I will answer below. Variations
Yes, there were variations in letter order and usage, in early Greek alphabets, as shown below: Variations in letter usage in early Greek alphabets, showing the Ionian or Milesian numerals as the epicenter, in regards to the mathematical usage of letters as 28 number symbols, valued 1 to 1000.
Here we see that the physicists in Ionia, specifically the city of Miletus, used the new alphabet as a calculating tool. This is the so-called backbone of alphanumerics: The 28 symbols of Greek numerals, the core of alphanumerics.
The following is an example quote:
“Individual letters of the alphabet (numbers) served as signs of measurement, based on the Samian cubit 📏, and were with red paint, usually in regular intervals, on the walls and the roof of the tunnel.”
— Author (A39/1994), “Article” (pg. 308), Supplementum epigraphicum graecum, Volumes 44-45
Other cites, less involved in mathematics, used the letters as a new way to make names, presumably with some underlying connection to their number-power basis, albeit in an in exact way. Whence, eventually, some versions of the Greek alphabet, when used non-mathematically, atrophied into say 24 to 27 letter versions, depending on location.
Mathematicians, however, up to and past the time of Hero of Alexandria, however, continued to use the 28 letter-number version of the alphabet, thereby allowing calculations to be done with numbers 1 to 1000 or more. This 28-unit alphabet was how so-called “sacred names” were made or rather calculated, such as Apollo (Απολλων) , Hermes (Ερμης) , or iota (ιωτα) , as shown below: Milesian numerals
In Ionia, the city of Miletus, was ancient MIT of the Greek world, home to Thales, Anaximander, Anaximenes, Pythagorus, Heraclitus, Anaxagoras, and Archelaus. This is where the mathematical structure of the new alphabet solidified as a new calculating tool. This is evidenced in the design of Apollo Temple, Didyma, Miletus, which, being one of the three largest temples in Greece, is built with an iota circumference, i.e. it is 1111-based or structured on the theme of the sum of the values of column one of the alphabet: Apollo Temple, Miletus, built with an iota (ιωτα) or 1111 unit architecture. Transmission mechanism?
The gist of the transmission mechanism, while we don’t know all the pieces, basically went from 28-unit cubit ruler calculations, where a person had to own an expensive cubit ruler, to a 28-character alphabet, where a person could ”own” a cubit ruler in their memory, and just write it out on say a rock, when need:
The following are posts on cubit rulers:
The following, in the green zone, or 3300A (-1345) to 2700A (-745), give or take, shows when this cubit ruler to alphabet switch generally occurred: The timeline of alphabet origin. Notes
- LOL Cat User, as I have gathered dialoging with them, seems to consider themselves an expert in phonemes using the International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA) system; and also seems to believe that phonemes of letters and words arose randomly, with no historical origin, or something along these lines?
- Yesterday, I did have a full answer to this question typed out, and ready to post, to this user, in the EgyptianHieroglyphs sub, but then had a browser crash, and lost what I had typed. Whence, I’m just redoing answer here from scratch.
- Joseph Fontenrose (A33/1988), Didyma: Apollo's Oracle, Cult, and Companions (pgs. 1, 5). Berkeley.
- Author. (A39/1994), “Article” (Simian cubit, pg. 308), Supplementum epigraphicum graecum, Volumes 44-45.
- Gregg, Simon. (A56/2011). “Any Old Letter”, Blog, Jan 30.
2023.06.09 02:03 Electrical-Dust985 WIBTA if I reported my coworker.
For context, I work in a facility for kids on the spectrum. We are behavioural interventionalists. I (19f) have worked there for a year now and love this job more than anything!
Two months ago we got a new coworker, let's call him Gerald. Gerald was ok at the beginning but I had my doubts jsut based off of personality. At the beginning he was always joke about how he missed session preparations or cleaning or literally everything u can miss. He seems to be sort of liekt he embodiment of a middle schooler if that makes sense? He definitely is faking tourettes (hits himself only when there are people in the room, always checks to make sure you're watching, always talking about having it) and is just genuinely an attention seeking person. His jokes are reality now and when I have to take his client because of him being sick or whatever, I see how much paperwork is jsut blantanly wrong!! Missing data graphs, wrong placement tests, skipping days and not filling things out CONSTANTLY.
This job is very challenging and is definitely not for everyone. I have days where I vent and feel overwhelmed. But I dont come to work and complain about the same 1 small incident that happened a month ago! When a kid bites me, or slaps me, or craps his pants, or says something crazy, I dont complain. Maybe I do once to my SO when I'm home, but I dont hold it against the kid like some sort of weird power struggle or soemthing.
WIBTA for reporting his behaviour and weird disposition towards the kids?
submitted by Electrical-Dust985
to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:01 MerkadoBarkada Globe's GCash IPO-ready by end of Q4; BSP cuts RRR by 250 basis points; VUL changes ticker to ECVC; Additional due diligence on Maxwealth Infinity; PSE account growth slows (Friday, June 9)
Happy Friday, Barkada --
The PSE lost 25 points to 6539 ▼0.4%
Thank you to Market Babbler
and Maestro Kuno
for the additional info on Maxwealth Infinity (more down below in NOTES), to arkitrader
and Kristoffer Notario
for the good vibes and positive feedback on my consistency, to kalelManila.eth
, and Your friend Pujo
for laughing along with me at the DD AI disclosure. Something has to make this sideways market interesting and fun!
Thanks also to Ph Investor
for noting that REDC's management team shares a great deal of overlap with Coal Asia Holdings [COAL]. I'm planning to do a deeper-dive into REDC as soon as they announce final pricing in a couple of weeks.
No trading this Monday (Independence Day), so MB will be back in your inboxes on Tuesday. Happy long weekend!
Shout-outs to Stephen Chiong, Jonathan Burac, Justn, CHARToons, Evolves Capital, Inc., Palaboy Trader, Coconut Block, KingArk, arkitrader, Dividend Pinoy PGG, Lance Nazal, Tenkan Sen, Candice, Jay Agonoy, Amith Gunawardana, Jas, Hatem Armstrong, and Jing for the retweets, and to Evolves.co, Jayvee Menil, and Mike Ting for the Facebook shares.
- GCash to be IPO-ready in 6 months
- BSP cuts RRR by 250 basis points
- Vulcan Industrial changes ticker to ECVC
- LMG buyer: some additional due diligence
- PSE account growth slows
▌Main stories covered:
- [NEWS] Globe to ready GCash for IPO by year-end... Globe Telecom [GLO 1720.00 unch; 116% avgVol] [link] said that it expects its e-wallet unit, GCash, to be “push-button ready” for an IPO “by the end of the year.” GLO President Ernest Cu said, of plans to IPO GCash: “The growth is there, the profitability has been there for almost two years now.” Mr. Cu added, “We’re pretty much ripe for it.”
- MB: There’s not much left to say about GCash that hasn’t already been said. It was born in the right place, at the right time, and will mature in a regulatory environment that is cheering for it to grow and succeed. I’ve personally advocated for GLO to spin-off GCash for years now, but that’s not some kind of original hot take. It’s been clear for a long time that the needs of GCash are different from those of its parent, but it wasn’t always clear that GLO felt the same way. For the past few quarters, GLO has been trying to do this on-the-fly rebrand from a “telco” to a “techco”, which came off to me as a clumsy attempt to pretend like GLO is still the center of relevance to investors. To be clear, GLO didn’t say that the IPO would happen by year-end, only that it would be “push-button ready” by that time, and even if it were ready by Christmas, there’s no telling what market factors might be in-play that could result in GLO delaying even further. I’m curious to hear more as the plan takes shape.
- [NEWS] BSP cut banks’ reserve ratio by 250 basis points... The Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) [link] cut the reserve requirement ratio (RRR) for universal and commercial banks by 250 basis points, down to 9.5%. The cut will go into effect on June 30 of this year. The BSP also cut the RRR for digital banks and thrift banks, but to a lesser degree. On June 30, the RRR is 9.5% for big banks, 6.0% for digital banks, 2.0% for thrift banks, and 1.0% for rural banks and co-ops. The BSP said that the timing of the cut is aligned with the expiration of “alternative modes of compliance with reserve requirements by end-June 2023”, that the RRR cut did not “constitute any shift in the BSP’s monetary policy settings”, and that controlling inflation through interest rate management is still its top priority.
- MB: Some context here on the RRR is useful. The RRR itself is the percentage of deposits that a bank must keep as reserves with the BSP. Historically, the Philippines has maintained a very high RRR relative to its neighbors, and it’s been the goal of the BSP to bring this ratio down for nearly a decade. Each percentage point of reduction is equivalent to roughly ₱150 billion in new money injected into the system in the form of loans that banks are now able to make, so this move is equivalent to approximately ₱375 billion of new money entering the economy. The BSP seems to be implying that the cut is roughly equivalent to the expiring accommodations that were made for banks during the post-COVID recovery period. This is a great move for banks, as they’ll be able to write more loans and earn more interest based on deposits that they’ve already technically taken, but is it a great move for the rest of us?
- [NOTES] Quick takes from around the market...
- Vulcan Industrial [VUL suspended] [link] board approved a series of measures, including a ticker symbol change (“ECVC”) and the offer and issuance of 550 million new common shares, to be sold by private placement for ₱1.00/share, in order to comply with the PSE’s 20% public float rule. VUL said that the proceeds of that sale would go toward “operations of the Company, business development, repayment of advances and/or acquisition of mining rights.”
- MB Quick Take: As a Star Trek fan, I admit that I have a soft spot in my heart for the original name and ticker of this company, so while it makes no sense to me why the new owners would want to incorporate the old company name into the new entity at all, I appreciate that “Vulcan” will live on in the new name, East Coast Vulcan Corporation. That said, I cannot accept that the board passed up the opportunity to simply slap an “E” on the front of this bad boy and have perhaps the most interesting ticker symbol in recent memory: “EVUL”. Even “ECVUL” is better than “ECVC”.
- LMG Corp [LMG suspended] [link] acquirer, Maxwealth Infinity Holdings (MIH), was background checked by a few diligent MB readers, and they found that the e-money fintech investment that MIH is involved in is loosely within the Tony Tiu universe of weird agri-tech companies. E-pon is the e-money app that was released by the Binangonan Rural Bank (BRB) in Q2 last year. BRB counts Mr. Tiu’s private holdco, Earthright Holdings (parent company of AgriNurture [ANI 7.32 ▲0.1%; 374% avgVol]), as one of its significant shareholders.
- MB Quick Take: When I mentioned that MIH was giving real SquidPay vibes, I didn’t even know that they were tangentially related to the Tony Tiu universe of “weird companies with lofty language and hard-to-define operations”. I don’t like to assume, but these kinds of entanglements matter to me as a long-term investor. Should they matter to you, too? That depends on your investing style, your knowledge of their businesses, and your tolerance for risk. Just putting it out there!
- Philippine Stock Exchange [PSE 160.10 ▼1.8%; 318% avgVol] [link] revealed “muted” growth in online stock market accounts in 2022, up only 8% y/y to 1.25 million. PSE noted a 2% decrease in traditional broker accounts to 453,827. Total accounts were up 5%, from 1.62 million in 2021, to 1.71 million in 2022. The PSE attributed the slower growth to a “clean-up of dormant accounts”, but said that it expects an “uptick in the numbers again with the foray of new stock brokerage firms in the online trading space and the upcoming rollout of stock investing features in finance apps”.
- MB Quick Take: The market is suffering from a crisis of interest. As Nicky Franco correctly points out, the PSE substantially lags behind all of our SE Asian peers with similarly-developed capital markets when it comes to the number of companies that we have on the stock exchange. Public floats are hilariously small. Volume is bone-dry. Most of the action this year has been driven by tender offers and companies trying to leave the exchange. REITs have padded the PSE’s IPO stats, but these hybrid pref follow-on offerings don’t have the same impact on the stock market eco-system that a fresh equity raise from a new and growing company would. It’s not all doom and gloom, but the challenges facing the SEC and PSE are substantial. And yet, all of these problems will be quickly forgotten once (inevitably) the next bull market starts.
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to phinvest [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 02:00 Moist-Teaching-2549 Is being too ugly a thing?
Is being too ugly a thing? Surely we can all stop being so idealistic and acknowledge the fact that there are people who are just not good looking. Unfortunately I believe I qualify. This sounds very sad and depressing but I made peace with my aesthetic challenges years and years ago and i thought about that fact recently and how when I think of others and their looks. Men and women I don’t ever stack them against myself because for one I have no idea where I’d put myself next to the average person mainly because I believe I am below average looks wise - maybe I am scared to admit just how for lack of better word ugly I am.
To give you an idea I have many undesirable features. To name a few. An underbite, an abnormally small upper lip (I have a bilateral cleft lip and palate), my nose is odd looking as it is misshapen. I had acne and there are some remnants, however this acne is gone and I have just some spots here and there no more than the normal amount. I have pretty clogged pores also. My teeth are hygienically good however my cleft lip and palate have taken a toll on them. I have braces (not an undesirable feature btw) my teeth are pretty crooked as of now and I am in-fact missing two incisors I think. These will be replaced in time. I do have spots on my back and shoulders also. I know it’s easy to nit pick anyone’s appearance and find bad things. That wasn’t all of my bad features but I believe I painted a decent picture. Although I do believe these are too fundamental for me to be considered good looking or even average. Therefore making me below average.
Obviously I am not all bad as most people are not. (This is going off what others have said - more than a few times so I know they’re genuine). I have blue eyes that are apparently nice. I also have nice hair which is probably my best feature given the amount random people have complimented it. These are basically the only two things that have ever been complimented by others. There are other things that are socially liked, for example I’m like 6”1 or maybe 6”2. So taller than most in public (although I don’t feel very tall - I feel average around the people I am friends with tbh) I’m like 70kg I’ve got a good base build I don’t go gym or anything though. I’ve been told before I have nice cheekbones and I believe i have a decent jawline.
So like most people I’ve got good and bad features however I believe my bad ones are too bad and out weigh the good. I also feel as though I’ve done a lot to fix all the problems i can for example I’ve changed my hairstyle and started to care more about my hair and that worked, thankfully. I’ve had a skincare routine for a while although it’s not as good as it used to be I do think my skin cleared up a bit due to age but also my efforts helped. Now looks aren’t everything so I started to think about my personality and interests and my interests i deepened like listened to say more music and i also started watching way more movies and tv shows and reading a bit also i also developed an interest in art and literature which would help make me a more rounded person however no one asks about my interests lol, and for my personality I started putting my self in uncomfortable situations and I already went out most of not every weekend into clubs and pubs so i’m not a hermit.
Basically what i’m getting at is - is it possible for someone to be so fundamentally unattractive their personalities are basically useless as they never get past the eye test. Is surgery or lowering your standards astronomically the only way out.
FYI and maybe TMI, no i am not a virgin and yes i have and have had good fruitful relations with women.
TLDR - Is being too ugly a thing?
submitted by Moist-Teaching-2549
to offmychest [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 01:56 Sarge_Noodle Looking For A Classic Themed DarkRP Server Or A Good Storm Chasing Server? You have come to the right place!
MelonRP MelonRP is a DarkRP server attempting to stick to classic themes with minimal mods. (about 30) We would like to grow a small fun community based around two certain maps rp_downtown_v2 and rp_hometown1999, we hope our community is welcoming and hope to see you online! https://discord.gg/rRQkUJrf
Noodle's Storm Chasing Server Want to go through some intense storm chases and insane weather? Would you like a wide variety of vehicles, maps, and playermodels? Welcome, to Noodle's Storm Chasing Server. Here, we chase tornadoes, day, night, morning, anytime! Sometimes, we have small events where very dangerous disasters tear through the map, pushing the player to their limits. We will see you all soon! https://discord.gg/TTzpGY2s
submitted by Sarge_Noodle
to GMServers [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 01:55 uslfd_w My take on all these - and the lock is the key
— What is this and where are we?
We are all in a massive multiplayer metaverse sandbox game. All players get to read and write anything, literally anything, from point zero.
— I hate this game. When will it end?
“When” is not a correct word to use. At point zero, in the “beginning”, there is no time. Rules of physics and time are also written by players.
We think there is time, only because we are being trapped by this universe’s writer who has written a temporally linear rule. Time is a construct. Imagine how one can draw a straight line on a blank paper and have everything around it to obey this line, that is how you materialize, a.k.a. manifest reality in this game. Taken away what has been drawn, the blank paper is always just a blank paper without a straight line, without time.
The blank paper is similar to the concept of “emptiness”, a.k.a. the “voidness”, in Mahayana Buddhism.
Without the blank paper, there will be no creations. But the blank paper itself is not creation.
Anything is possible to be created on this blank paper – literally anything, if you give a creation enough “dependent” factors to manifest itself. In other words, the more complicated the drawing, the more correct strokes you will need to draw it. Anything is possible.
Everything is HERE and NOW, on this blank paper.
Heaven in HERE and NOW, on this blank paper.
Hell in HERE and NOW, on this blank paper.
Gospel of Thomas (113) His disciples said to him, "When will the kingdom come?" Jesus said "It will not come by waiting for it. It will not be a matter of saying 'here it is' or 'there it is.' Rather, the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and men do not see it."
We all have as much access to this blank paper as every other player. Both read access AND write access. Hence the saying “We are all powerful”. Most of us here have been made forgotten the ability to write and now we think we only can read.
— On reincarnation:
Reincarnation is fractal, intrinsically not temporally or causationally linear (as most of us would reckon). Reincarnation and ability of manifestation (!) is a multidimensional distance minimization function in this game. In this very universe, our ability to create has been utilized against us to trap us here indefinitely. In here, upon our death, the strongest and most consistent desire of one’s psyche will manifest itself back into this universe. But how? I will explain a bit more but my friend, this is, in my opinion, also the only key to escape.
— On this universe (and reincarnation again):
The creator of this corner of metaverse is very clever. He had only taken a small subset of physics rule (linear forward time and 3d space) but he made sure within this small subset of space, every single possibility (event, emotion, desire) was being written. And that is probably why the Akashic record has everything already written.
Upon our death, the coordinates closest to our heart, our strongest desires, and most consistent emotions is almost always within this creation (based on multidimensional distance minimization, remember?)
We are all just used to reading data. Our five senses and “rational” thoughts are all written into us, by our brains that monotonically interpret reality based on our brains’ neural pathway. (Look at how machine learning program is designed, that is approximately how our brains work)
With our read-only inertia and our emotions + desires generated from interaction within creation of this universe, we are almost guaranteed to come back. This is how our power to manifest has been used against us to keep us here, our power to manifest has become reincarnation within a trap.
Archons and / or creator of this universe are players who have much better understanding of, and skills at this game, adding another layer of complexity as they work to trap as many players as possible. And yes, they are kind of winning.
— Are there other players and other universes?
Yes. Amitabha Buddha for example, has created Sukhavati (aka Western Pure Land) for players in this universe to take refuge in his universe under his protection. According to Buddhism, each Buddha creates their own universe(s). Distance wise, Sukhavati is said to be numerous universes away from where we are.
— So.. how do we escape?
Reincarnation is our lock but the lock is also the key, the only key. Our ability to create, when used against us, becomes reincarnation. The way in is the only way out. We must rediscover our power to manifest.
We are being made to forget our ability to write correctly. We have to rediscover writing.
We are poets; we are writers; we are painters.
— But how?? How exactly do we write?
Consciousness, focus, desire, imagination, action, and help
Writing is all about putting all your consciousness into (aka putting your heart and soul into) your creation, YOUR universe. Stop being a reader of whoever has written this universe. By reading and emotionally responding too much to this universe you are wasting your power of consciousness. You become a reader.
Focus on what you must create. The more complicated the drawing, the more correct strokes you will need, to draw it. Practise ability to focus by meditation. Unfortunately spending 30 minutes on stupid tiktok, 2 hours on TV, 1 hour on random stuffs on reddit every day isn’t going to help us escape. It will get us trapped.
Extrapolate beyond this universe. Visualize a universe that fundamentally rejects characteristics of this universe. Use your imagination to keep desiring and visualizing the universe that you want other players to enjoy. Do it all the time. If you start to dream about it, then you are one step closer to escaping. This is the only way to flip our lock back into the key – the key of creation and manifestation. The key that unlocks our power from within.
Action - if I imagine a world with no sufferings, then I must act on it too, to remove as much sufferings as possible in my daily life. Action is an important part of manifestation . One can wish for being a rich person but if he acts like a poor person, he will not be rich.
Help – This is where I do not agree with the common consensus of this sub. I think we all need external help. Most of us don’t even know how to draw a proper line on this blank paper in this game. All we have been doing since birth was reading shxt drawn by others and unconsciously making random doodles. And thanks to modern life too which means we are 24/7 being distracted by random and meaningless shxt.
Gospel of Thomas (2) Jesus said, "Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All."
PS: Yes, this also means that any player can create an absolute hell to trap other players in. Just remember though, if a trapped player figures out a way to escape, they can create anything on this blank paper, including an inter-player interdimensional war. The choice is yours.
Tl;dr Enjoy the game
submitted by uslfd_w
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2023.06.09 01:53 Rthebeastofnature I have a question about severe back pain.
2023.06.09 01:50 TrippyShipwreck Wanted my S/O to have a better life, majorly messed mine up instead. I have no idea what to do, and I don't have anyone to talk to, so here I am, another person turning to to reddit. I've got no idea what I'm hoping to accomplish, I just need to get this off my chest before I lose my mind over it.
Warning in advance, this is gonna be long. I'll try and keep it short as I can without omitting necessary context. This is a fake account, so nobody knows who I am. I'll be using fake names obviously. At this point in my life, I have essentially lost my closest friends and the love of my life, and have never felt so alone and despaired in my entire life. I just need to get this out there and off my chest, as I don't know who to talk to about it and it's been burning away at the very core of my soul for the greater part of three whole years now.
So anyhow. Rewind for context. It's about 3 years in the past when the relevant story begins, maybe a bit more. I'm 27M now, but was probably 24, maybe 25 at the time? I grew up pretty poor, but my parents had a real "you can accomplish anything through hard work" type of mentality, especially once they had their first and only child, me. That same work ethic was pounded into me my entire upbringing, and for the most part, it took. I watched them work from a ramshackle mobile home in the boonies to what seemed at the time to be a suburban castle in an upper-end neighborhood in the span of maybe ten years. I was an exceptional student, and had earned myself a partial scholarship in academics to a university where I was to major in mechanical engineering. Not to brag, but logically speaking, I am a VERY intelligent individual. I'd completed my college calculus, chemistry, and physics classes my junior year of high school. Common sense wise however, I had a LOT of growing up to do. I ended up having a child with a girl I didn't even stay together with my senior year of high school, and washed a large part of my potential down the drain (which I've regretted for some time), but still decided to roll with the punches and make the most of it. My parents, who were now quite wealthy, essentially disowned me for my mistake. Despite this, I ended up going to trade school funded by my employer while juggling new fatherhood, and landed a decent blue collar job where I had potential to make enough money to support myself, even though I had to suffer through two hard years of college working part time for near minimum wage.
This is where Elise came in. She was a few years younger than me, and probably one of the most beautiful women I had (to this day) ever laid eyes on. When we met, I was horribly depressed and spent most of my time avoiding custody with my son in leu of going out and binge drinking and partying. I was mad at myself for squandering my potential. Elise had issues of her own, her parents were horrendously abusive religious extremists, who abused her both physically and mentally. She'd been gaslighted by her parents to the point that they practically dover her to a depression-ridden madness, then tried to lie about her mental state to doctors and psychiatrists to force her into institutionalization at the age of 17. All the while, her male siblings were treated like royalty, with their college being fully funded by their parents, and numerous accommodations made to ensure they succeeded in life. Elise too was VERY intelligent, probably more so than myself, but for whatever reason, her parents treated her like a stray animal which they despised having to even bear living with. For some reason which I still don't quite fathom, she saw something in me. We both were at a point where our lives had hit a slump, and we both were trying (unsuccessfully) to fill the bottomless chasm inside with drinking, partying, and everything in between. What we both needed more than anything was someone to have our backs, a partner to cling to even when the world around us was falling apart. That is exactly what we became.
Elise was by my side when I came back from college and my parents kicked me out. I had nowhere to go, and nobody to turn to, but she let me crash on her couch in her apartment. She never once made me feel like the failure I believed myself to be. She loved and supported me at my lowest, when I had absolutely nothing to offer. My intelligence quickly made me stand out at my blue-collar job, which was commission based pay, and before long, I found myself 21 years old making close to 75k a year. I saved up my money, and with Elise at my side, purchased my first home. I began to fill it's garage with things that I'd only dreamed I'd be able to one day afford- a brand new four wheeler, a motorcycle, etc... It seemed I had finally made it, except for one crucial catch. I was living MY dream. Not Elise's. Mine. See, Elise had dreams of her own, similar to how I did. She wanted to go to school and go into the medical field, and she wanted to own and care for animals (similar to my love for all things 4-wheel and off-road).
This is where it all went wrong, somewhere in the last of the 3 years we spent together. More accurately, this is where I went wrong. I lay awake at night still, three years later, kicking myself about all the things I should have done different. I was so driven by my own success and my own pursuit of happiness, that I kind of just... put her dreams and desires on the back-burner. She didn't really want children at that point in time, but as I had partial custody of my own, I was constantly overruling her plans with plans to do "family activities" with my son, Jack. I constantly criticized her for having "no maternal instinct" or "being incapable of dealing with real world issues". When our weekends weren't consumed by Jack, I was dragging her on some ridiculous adventure of my choosing, often with little regards to what she actually wanted to do. While Elise did not pay any rent, which I had agreed to in order to allow her to devote her income to attending college, I began to resent her for it. Like seriously. What in the actual fuck is wrong with me. The wedge between us was only drove deeper by time, and my own selfish actions. It's worth mentioning too that her family HATED me. They viewed me as trash, which, in itself didn't bother me. It was when her mother reached out to me and told me that she would pay Elise's full tuition if I stopped seeing her. That was really the straw on the camel's back. This is important later on.
Fast forward towards the end of the last year. My selfish bastard energy had peaked at this point, and Elise was mentally and emotionally shelled, from working full time, attending college full time, and dealing with me being the narcissistic ass I was. I was angry because I felt she was trying to drive a wedge between my son and I (a wedge that, later in life I discovered I had been driving myself due to my own harbored resentment against my child and his mother because I blamed them instead of myself for jipping me out of college and consigning me to the rest of my life as an "idiot blue collar worker"). I feel so stupid looking back, as I now realize that it was entirely my fault, and I should have just accepted that instead of blaming my mistakes on everyone around me. Anyhow, the tension finally snapped. We got in a HUGE fight, which is significant, because we never really fought. All of my bottled up anger and depression and everything else spewed out as I shouted and hurled insults like some sort of half-witted drunkard, and halfway through, I realized that my anger scared the absolute shit out of her. It was in that moment, it was like that scene in a cartoon where the imbecilic character finally manages to understand a simple concept. I realized that while I had been so busy blaming everyone around me for my lack of success, it was actually all my fault. Meanwhile, Elise's lack of success actually COULD be blamed on me. I was the one holding her back. It was because of me she couldn't get college funding from her parents and had to work so hard to pay for it. It was my lack of consideration that had always prevented her from adopting animals, or even taking her opinion seriously when I bought the house, with only my best interests in mind. It was my decision to constantly try to force her to fill a "stepmom" role that somehow I had just realized was taking away from her ability to actually pursue her own interests and hobbies. In all reality, it all just kind of hit me. I hated myself. I mean truly hated myself to the core. Some part of me came to the realization that she would be better off without me. Her parents would pay for her school. She could get a degree, a good job, chase her passions... in the end, it was me who broke it off. I just felt it was the right thing to do at that point, rather than drag her down in the black hole of ME. I still remember the evil smirk her mother gave me and she helped pack Elise's things in the back of her car. Not wanting to leave Elise high and dry, I gave her the car we had bought together, which wasn't much, but it was reliable so she could go to school or work or whatever. I also gave her a highly modified 4x4 we had built together. Figured it was hers anyhow, and she could sell it for a decent amount of money if need be.
Fast forward a little bit. Shortly after Elise and I ended things, I met someone else. She seemed equally sweet, and was somewhat attractive. I could not have been more wrong. We'll call her Carrie. She proved to be a raging alcoholic, and ironically, treated me exactly how I treated Elise, but tenfold worse. She was far more narcissistic than I ever thought about being. She would get drunk and ruin my things, throwing my clothes in the yard, breaking my stuff, etc... and would often insult me. She teased that I was smart because I "Must be autistic, and that means I'm some sort of retard", or telling me that I'm a terrible father because I don't fight to see my child more, and I should just give up custody. She told me once that "no matter how hard I work, I'll always be the same trash that came from that trailer park as a child" ...I was still in such a fragile mental state, I just... let it happen. Honestly, a part of me believed I deserved it. I am Agnostic, but still in the back of my head I couldn't help but wonder, "Is God real, and is this his way of punishing me?" I sold my house and moved into a crappy apartment far from my hometown. Honestly I just couldn't handle all the memories of what it had used to be such a happy place but had now turned into a hell I just wanted to escape. I lost my job, and had to take a much harder job for significantly less pay. Carrie had cleverly used my depression to manipulate me and isolate me from my friends, avoid mending bridges with my family, and escalated my custody to the point that I actually lost what little I did have. I was broken. No, I was absolutely shattered. ....but hey, I deserved it, right? I felt so bad about how I had treated Elise that I convinced myself I did. I'd simply cry myself to sleep and try to hold on to whatever happy memory I could of our life together.
It all changed one day. I hit "point fuck it". I had loaded my Mossberg 12-gauge, racked a single shell, and put the weapon to the underside of my chin. I pulled the trigger.
The gun had jammed. Or misfired. Or SOMETHING. But whatever had happened, it did not fire the shell loaded into it's chamber. About then I heard Carrie open the front door to the apartment. From the bedroom, I quickly hid the gun under a pile of laundry, and lept into bed, pretending to be asleep but silently sobbing into the pillow. I remember thinking to myself "If you're out there, God, than fuck you."
Fast forward to PRESENT DAY. If you've read this far, thank you. Seriously.
Following the gun incident, something snapped in me, for the better. I started talking to a therapist (in secret, because I knew it would be a weakness Carrie would exploit to insult and degrade me). I have began to get my shit together, and bought a small home. Shortly after buying the home however, I landed a new job. This is where everything got really crazy. The new job was at a dumpster fire of a company. I quit after 30 days. When I informed my supervisor, he was shocked. I got called into a meeting (which I agreed to) with some guys I'd never seen before, and they began asking me why I wanted to quit so quickly after joining the team. I calmly began to explain everything I thought was wrong with the company. How I could predict based on my own daily gross profit that the entire business must be losing money at an alarming rate, and close to going under if they aren't there already. How management was spineless to make improvements, dismiss toxic employees, etc... This went on for several hours. At the end of it all, a tall man stands up and says, "Do you know who I am?". I sheepishly admit that I don't. "I'm one of the owners of this company". I chuckle nervously. Then he looks me dead in the eyes, and says "You're absolutely right, you know. I can tell by talking to you, you're FAR more intelligent than I would have ever guessed. How would you feel about actually making all the changes you just talked about? How would you feel about running this store?" I. WAS. FLOORED. Needless to say, I didn't think I could do it. But a year later, I've now got the store breaking records for profits. I've got a paycheck that looks like somebody fat-fingered the keyboard, and the owners LOVE me. I've went on to get everything I ever wanted- almost. I've got a vacation cabin with a side-by-side (and even a small one for my kid), I'm mending relations with friends and family, I've continued talking to a therapist (who REFUSES to give relationship advice), I've got a nice truck and drive a luxury car, but, no matter how many material things I buy, there is still a hole inside. The same hole that has been there for the last 3 years. Carrie is still around. She got sober about a year ago, and cleaned up her act. We've been mostly issue free for a year, but somehow, I just don't know if I can ever forgive the horrible things she has done. She's asked about proposal and marriage, but when she does, I get this feeling in my heart and stomach that feels like pure bottled concentrated fear. I still have nightmares about her honestly, and sometimes, on REALLY good nights, I have dreams that Elise and I are together again, in a beautiful home with a beautiful family.
In conclusion, I've got one more really tough choice to make. I could accept Carrie has changed, and lead out my life with her, knowing I will always secretly have a hole inside where Elise used to be. I have no idea where Elise actually is in life now. I hope she graduated college. I hope she found happiness. I know through the small town grapevine that she never did end up settling down with anyone, for whatever reason. Honestly, I wanna take the risk. Even if I fail, at least I can say that I tried. Hell, maybe I'd be able to finally move on after all this time. In doing so, I know I'll burn Carrie's bridge for good, and honestly, part of me doesn't care. Even If she was horrid to me, however, I still can't bear the thought of possibly hurting her. I guess my experiences have made me soften up, arguably a bit too much. So here I sit, on a company paid vacation near the beautiful beaches, bills paid, belly full... ...so why the hell do I still feel so damn empty inside?
All I know is that I've come too far to blow it all now.
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2023.06.09 01:49 Jjabrahams567 Spinosaurus changed so much. I got this book in 1993
2023.06.09 01:48 Califanoal CleanTech Stocks Highlights the Top 10 Reasons to Invest in Sage Potash Corp (SAGE.v)
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The US has an annual demand for potash of over 9 million tons, while domestic production is less than 500,000 tons, making the country dependent on global sources like Canada, Russia, and Belarus.
CleanTech Stocks recently featured Sage Potash Corp (Ticker: SAGE.v) as an investment opportunity that combines both securing the future of US potash production and financial returns.
Read here: https://cleantechstocks.com/sagepotash
The article highlights that Sage has made a significant potash find in the US with its Sage Plain Potash Project. It also lists the top 10 reasons to invest in Sage Potash including the company's market cap, lower capital expenditure, demand for potash, low shipping costs, project resource and economic estimate, environmental practices, comparables, and more. https://preview.redd.it/uwcd67zvsv4b1.png?width=865&format=png&auto=webp&s=7172b8c362634dbf64bc6ee0dd26027199540f78
Although Sage currently has a market cap of $13 million, the in-situ value of their inferred potash resource, based on current pricing, is over $18 billion. Sage Potash is a newly listed small-cap company, but it has a clear path to production. Comparatively, the only current US producer, Intrepid Potash, has a market cap of $265 million, while global giants like Nutrien and SQM have market caps between $18-30 billion.
With drill permits already in process, Sage Potash expects to have their initial pilot plant operating within 12 months. They have plans for rapid expansion and can utilize debt financing for much of the expansion.
Perhaps most importantly, the company has a possible catalyst incoming as it is set to release its PEA in the coming weeks. This will also provide investors with an in-depth analysis of the mine's economics.
Make sure to check out the article for more information. Posted on behalf of Sage Potash Corp.