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Toilet Paper USA

2017.10.21 03:11 ZombieJohnBrown Toilet Paper USA

Official Subreddit of TPUSA.

2013.05.26 16:08 FozzTexx Retro Battlestations

Show off your old-school computer rig! Dig out your retro computers and set them up, or dig out your vintage photos from when your computer was new!

2015.02.27 22:42 apotero Support for those with nasty, cruel, toxic, abusive MILs & moms

A place to post about your MIL or Mother who is just the *worst*. Come for support, come for advice, or just to vent and get it all out. That's what we're here for.

2023.06.01 04:49 noinnocentbystander Fake SA profile made of me... a vent/story time

So I (23F at the time, but 26F now) had just left my drug addict and lying ex (25M at the time) of 4 years. Emotionally I had broken up with him about a year prior, so the breakup didn't really feel like a break up as I was already emotionally disconnected for so long. Anyways, I decided to get into this community as a BBW with a fetish sized ass. I know it's not the norm, but I definitely have a body type that is very specifically desired by a small group and I am happy catering to a niche group. I was actually quite successful! A lot of the guys that showed interest had never been with a BBW and were very curious, which I was fine with. I thought it was sweet, actually. I was helping them live out a (secret for some) fantasy that they had but never acted upon and it was cool with me.
Anyways, I eventually settled on one great guy who was autistic and just wanted a companion to cuddle with at night and go to dinner. He worked in finance and had a lot of money to spend and we hit it off, I genuinely enjoyed him quite a bit. Since there was no physical intimacy involved (he was not comfortable with anything besides cuddling and hand holding), he was ok with me finding a SD who I was intimate with. I ended up finding a guy who I decided to do a long term situation with if we hit it off at our first meet up.
We were planning our first meet up after about 3 weeks of chatting. This was right when the pandemic hit and he lived in NY and me in CT. Back then, NY was shut down and you couldn't enter unless you were a resident -- they took it VERY serious. We figured out a way to safely work around it and were ready to meet. We got along well and I found him attractive. Until a few days before the meet, he sends me a text accusing me of being a scammer.
I was taken aback... scammer? Me? I was so confused. He told me that he saw other profiles of me with different info and older photos of me when I was about 30lb thinner. The name was the same but the language was weird. I asked for a link and when I clicked it, my heart SANK! It was old pictures of me with a really disgusting bio... things that were talking about sex acts I would perform and how I would do it for cheap. It read very much as a prostitution ad (no hate towards that, that is just not what I was personally going for). I could not figure it out until it hit me... these photos... some of them were not posted online. Then I went to the last photo and saw it. A dressing room photo from trying on a new outfit, you know the kind. The kind you send to a friend to ask if the outfit is cute before you buy it. I had only sent this to one person, my ex.
I immediately call him and record the conversation. He admits to it right away. I was fuming. He admitted to pretending to be me and talking to several men on there. He said he got about $75 total from these men so far. I explained how much danger that put me in... what if one of these men were to see me out in the street and confront me over money they sent me? And that is the least of the danger I could be in. I will never forgive him for this.
Of course, this spooked the guy I was speaking to and I don't blame him. I sent him a video of me speaking and explaining the situation so he could see that I am who I say I am. He said it felt fishy like I was in on it with my ex. I said I understood because I saw how bad it looked from the outside. I reported the profile and I never logged in again out of pure embarrassment. I have wanted to get into it again but I just think of this situation and feel so embarrassed. I know it's not my fault but still. I've since moved halfway across the country so I am not concerned with running into the guy who felt scammed, but it just kind of spoiled a good thing for me, ya know? Thanks for listening to my vent.
submitted by noinnocentbystander to sugarlifestyleforum [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:49 SummerSocks123 No Contact - from an old woman's Perspective

I'm old - nearly 50. And, my heart is broken. Old people get broken hearts too. And, I am here on this subreddit bc I agree with the principles of no contact: to figure out how to be a better person in the long run. But, that said, old people are also human beings.
It has been nearly 9 months since the break up. He has said zero to me since then. I have texted him a couple of times and sent him a hand written letter (I'm old, did I say that?) Still nothing from him. Not that great at no contact, am I? He has a lot to work through, and I suspect that he is deep in therapy trying to figure a lot out. He's made choices. I've made choices. I'm deep in therapy too. Old people have just had more time to fuck more shit up. Simple as that.
But, here's the good part about being old. I don't feel ashamed that I reached out to him. I don't feel ashamed that some of what I wrote and said was my process of processing my heartbreak - even if he thought I was a pathetic loser and laughed and hit delete all while fucking 6 other better looking women than me. I don't feel shame. Fuck 'em. I needed to do what I did. I'm human. I am hurt - hell, I WAS devastated - and, part of processing it was also realizing, acknowledging and then apologizing for my part in whatever it was that I did - or didn't do. I think I even told him once that I changed my mind and didn't want to break up early on there. Still - no shame. Also, no reply from him.
I fully embrace the principles of no contact - like I said above, but I also fully embrace that I am - and you are - a fucking HUMAN BEING who hurts and who needs to soothe and who deserves grace and definitely NOT SHAME when it feels to impossible to maintain no contact. And then break no contact.
But, please listen from a mom and a damn near geriatric: NOBODY here, is bad or wrong or weak or stupid if they break no contact. If they feel like no contact isn't for them, or painful or setting you up for failure, you are not wrong or bad. We are humans who hurt and who make choices, some days, just to survive the next 5 minutes. We fuck up, and that's the most human thing in the world to do. We cry over stupid shit and we also lock and load over things that we never thought we'd be able to survive. It's the messy and beautiful part of being a feeling creature. Hating no contact, failing no contact, wallowing in no contact. None of it is wrong. As I tell my son, the only thing that could be wrong about our feelings is if we hurt other people or ourselves because of them.
I just want you all to have a bit of perspective from someone whose been around. It feels super balls to the wall, no contact does. And, if that's how you need to see it, perfect. Sometimes, if you don't frame it that way, it becomes a slippery slope. We all need to set boundaries. But, in the big picture, it's a way for a highly fallible, mistake-prone human being to try to cope with one of the shittiest situations in all of human being history. You're just coping. And, some days are better than others. And some days are straight shit. And, even on those shitty days, when you write a 7 paragraph long email to your ex-love and hit "send", YOU ARE NOT A BAD OR SHITTY OR WEAK OR PATHETIC PERSON!!!!! You are the same damn human being yesterday.
So, if you read this and go take a shot and break no contact, you are still the same person you were 5 minutes ago just trying to get through the fucking day. Honey, we ALL are. You are not alone!
Do not making a shitty situation shittier than it is by JUDGING YOURSELF on your ability to maintain no contact! Judge yourself by how compassionate you are willing to be towards a human who is doing the very best damn job they can under crap circumstances.
submitted by SummerSocks123 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:48 FilmoreFollies Opening passage from a book I've been working on, would love your opinions!

I'm about thirty pages into this but wanted to share the opening passage to gauge opinions on tone and style!
I was honked at nine times on the drive from Verona to Venice.
The beat-up old Beetle I borrowed from the Parkers putters along like a cartoon junker. She was a powder blue distant memory of a car, born in the Sixties, but she was cute enough and served a purpose.
It was warmer than I’d hoped it’d be, but, with the windows down, there was enough of a breeze to provide some relief. Even still, I was sweating. I was also, truth be told, a few glasses of wine into my day, which, in conjunction with warm weather and the lopsided, silly, sputtering of an old car, can trigger a headache.
By 11:00 AM, I’d managed to park on Tronchetto Island at the Venice Passenger Terminal. Right when I opened the car door and stepped out the headache began to subside. I grabbed what little luggage I brought and took the vaporetto to Piazza San Marco.
On my trip into the heart of Venice, I sketched the faces of the various passengers aboard the vaporetto, the tourists and residents of the city of islands. There were some interesting faces and shapes, and so many couples with arms and hands touching that I was able to sketch a scene of a crowd resembling the knotted roots of a tree.
Il Palazzo was my destination. A budget hotel with a view of the Rialto Bridge.
My phone was dead when we disembarked from the vaporetto and so I bugged someone for directions to the hotel every block. My poor command of Italian meant I was asking things like, “è l’albergo Il Palazzo dove?” No one knew where it was.
As I searched for the hotel, streets opened up before me. Charming trattorias, intimate and rustic, little shops selling wines I’ll never sip, spices and jams, olive oils and vinegars I’ll never cook with. Each corner broke forth, luring me deeper into the city. Still, I was agitated and no amount of charm could temper me.
After meandering around Venice for the better part of an hour, I eventually found the place. I was sticky, leaning into melodrama, feeling oppressed by the infamous Venetian humidity. Summer in Venice, a sultry delight if you have the means.
The hotel was rundown with a shabby façade, a disconcerting sight given the state I was in. It gave me the impression of a building longing to collapse, if not under the weight of embarrassment regarding its appearance then simply to save anyone the misfortune of having to sleep inside. Nevertheless, I was assured a room with a view of the Rialto Bridge.
“Mi scusi,” I said to the concierge upon entering. He was short and thin, his shoulders slouched inward, his demeanor confused. “Checking in.”
“Yes, checking in.”
“Checking in, si,” he said and then he began scuttling around behind the front desk, shuffling many papers, looking under binders, but not doing much of anything.
“I was told I would have a view of the Rialto Bridge,” I said. “Is it a good view?”
“Who knows?” He said, still scuttling.
“No, I was told that. I was told, and that’s why I picked this hotel, for the view.”
“Who knows?”
“I thought I knew, but clearly . . .”
“Clearly,” he said, producing a key from a drawer.
“I wish I knew how well you understood me so I could decide how upset I should be.”
At that moment, an elderly coupled descended the stairs and entered the lobby. They seemed to have four arms each, carrying two pieces of luggage in every available hand and yet they appeared unbothered.
“There are no views of the Rialto,” the old woman said.
“What?” I asked.
“There are no views of the Rialto Bridge, not here,” she said. “It’s an advertising scam.”
“A scam.”
“It’s a bait and switch. Bait, Rialto, switch, a dirty courtyard view and a very loud family on the other side who yell.”
“They yell?”
“All night,” she said. “We’re checking out, Marco.”
“Si, Signora Preston,” the concierge said, spinning in place and remaining befuddled.
“You seem familiar with the place,” I said.
“Oh, we always stay at the Il Palazzo,” the old woman said, producing another arm in order to light a cigarette.
“Even with the yelling?”
“What?” Her husband barked.
“She asked why we stay here,” she shouted back through a fog of smoke. “We wear hearing aids, we can always turn them off. We’re checking out, Marco.”
“Si, Signora Preston,” Marco said, staring blankly at the three of us.
“And checking in, for me, checking in for Fern Guess,” I said.
“Si, yes,” Marco said handing me the key. “Camera tre.”
“Enjoy your stay,” the old woman said. “Marco, out, checking out. We are checking out!”
“Thank you,” I said as I gathered my luggage and shuffled up the stairs, unsure who I was thanking and for what reason.
The room was abysmal: the bed visibly sagged in the middle, nearly touching the floor, the shower was exposed in the corner, no curtain, no complimentary toiletries, and I could faintly make out the sound of dripping water, as if from a leak, and yet, upon searching the room, I found no leak. What’s more, it seemed the moment I shut my door I could hear the family yelling, their frustration resounding throughout the courtyard before settling in my room. The headache had returned.
I’m often accused of histrionics but, in truth, the deceptively named Il Palazzo is as tragic and repellent a place as any miserable accommodation one might imagine. For the rest of my life, I’ll associate the words “il” and “palazzo” with images of a sickly palace – the ill palazzo. That I managed to make my way in and out of the room without acquiring a rash was little more than serendipity. With places like Il Palazzo, it’s all a game of exposure. The longer you’re there, the higher the likelihood you’ll walk away with a tick or fleas or bedbugs. Even more likely, given the sordid conditions, you’re likely to acquire an admirer twice your age and short on English words that, when strung together, don’t form come-ons. Fortunately, business is so bad for Il Palazzo that I was left only to worry about the diseases and insects, not even sex pests were dumb enough to book a room at Marco’s hotel. What all this says about me is obvious and need not be stated.
A bit wounded, I snuck down the stairs with my sketchbook and tried to avoid making eye contact with Marco.
submitted by FilmoreFollies to romanceauthors [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:48 broccurlytop Found out about my [M29] girlfriend's [F30] past through her old reddit accounts and I'm not sure what to do

I'm not sure about what to feel but..
Help me figure this out.
Last night, my gf of about a year now while we're in our nightly call. Our habit since we only meet about 2-3x a month. She shared something about being able to look up someone's dummy accounts by using common keywords that they usually use for other posts. Some sort of online penmanship. I kinda got curious and tested that hypothesis, I don't have any reddit friends who I can test this on, so I have looked my partner up instead. So yeah, I have found some of her old reddit accounts.
She had a promiscuous past, 100+ body count from what she had told me. She never hid this from me, and I have no issues with it anyway since her past affairs are none of my business. In fact, admired her for her honesty, and I intend to not let this affect our relationship
But seeing her past posts, with all the graphic details included on AJ and phr4r, has left an impact. Her gangbang and public sexcapades, how she tried to organize an orgy once, her kinks, and whatnot, all laid out on this account. Again, she never hid these from me, she has been honest with me since day one, except for the graphic details, to spare me from unnecessary TMI I guess. It's just I never imagined the extent of this phase. To be clear, I still take no issue with this,1 believe her when she said she had changed.
But I have a new set of worries now. I might never be able to fully satisfy her sexually. She keeps reassuring me when we do the deed, but on one of her AJ post about a gangbang she had, she said "it won't be the last time she will be doing that. That was years ago, but It kinda worries me now. I consider myself sexually active, but I was basically a virgin when we first dated, so there's only so much I can offer against her plethora of experiences.
I know, I should talk to her to sort this out. But I don't even know how to bring it up. We promised to have an honest and open communication but I don't think I can right now. Maybe I just need to take my time to unpack this. After all, I sort of brought this upon myself. I love her for what she is now, and not what she was, that much I'm sure. But I don't know if I can contain this new fear that I'm not something special. I'm just another guy in her life. Easily replaceable in a blink of an eye if she so desires.
Now I'm lost
submitted by broccurlytop to relationship_advicePH [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:48 Thekem_110 What to do With Lot of Free Time?

Hi! I’m currently a graduated highschool senior who is starting college classes mid-July so I don’t have any serious or pressing responsibilities atm. I find it a lot easier for me to stay disciplined when I have a schedule (like with school for example) and an allotted time for certain things. Whenever I am actually busy, there’s so many hobbies and interests I can think of wanting to explore, but when I do end up having a lot of free time they either no longer seem as appealing or I am unsure of how to approach it on my own. This week in particular I’ve been working on cleansing and organizing my environment so I’m in the mental state to “add on” things whether that be habits or whatnot. My room and closet are accounted for as having been reorganized and old things given away. Today I revisited my goals and set clear and specific ones for the rest of the year, but they aren’t things that require hours of work everyday. I set up my monthly journal layout for June, including 5 habits I want to track (exercise, minimal screentime, etc.) These are all great things, but it’s unrealistic for me to be productive for majority of the day without something like a class to be studying for or a job that I’m working in; so my question is how do I structure and use so much free time in a way that will improve me as a person and have a potential positive effect on my future (career, education, etc.)?
For reference I have interests in language learning and reading which are areas I can work on, but not realistically for the whole day. I am also a prospective law student after undergrad and interested in the subject of psychology :) thank you for any responses!
submitted by Thekem_110 to selfimprovement [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:48 Decembra87 Would anyone's kids want to send cards?

10 year olds birthday
My son is adhd and has trouble making friends so we arent doing a party. He kicked butt to pass the 4th grade and his birthday is also next month. Ben loves getting mail just as much as me and if everyone could send in birthday cards he'd be beyond amused.
submitted by Decembra87 to Parenting [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:47 Fast-Ad6627 Need an unbiased opinion

I am strongly considering putting my child’s father on child support but its a lot to consider and I would like the perspectives of people who are not related to me. I’ll try not to make this too long.
My sons father and I broke up when I was 4 months pregnant. We still communicated about the baby and got along well. He was there for birth. The first 5 months of my sons life, I wasn’t working and I cared for my son 90% of the time. He worked got him for 1-2 nights a month and paid for baby stuff. Around 6 months I started back working and put my son in daycare but I was overwhelmed having to care for him alone.
After multiple failed attempts to find a solution we finally agreed that until he could find a job that would allow him to spend more time with our son, he would pay me $760/month in CS and take our son every other weekend which he has done since our son was 6 months old.
Our son is now 3 and his schedule has STILL not changed so I am primarily raising our son alone which I don’t think is fair. He is a licensed electrician and makes around $70k year at his job, in addition to taking side jobs for his own business.
I have tried to be patient but everything changed for me this past week when my dryer stopped working. He literally specializes in washedryer repair, but told me that I would have to pay his normal rate for him to fix the dryer. So for the past week I have struggled to work, care for my son, and do laundry when/where I can which I think is disgusting, given that I have been amicable and gracious for 3 years, struggling to make ends meet and keep my sanity.
I take care of my son alone 317 days of the year without complaint and don’t bother him for anything extra, but when he refused to help me when he knows that our son NEEDS a working dryer in the house and couldn’t care less.
My question for you all, is if you think taking him to court would help us reach a more FAIR agreement than the one we have? I feel like he should either have to pay more to offset the costs of raising our child, OR have to have more visitation days so that I can at least have more breaks. I’m not trying to hurt him. I’m just trying to keep myself together so that I can be the best mother to my child. Any advice??
submitted by Fast-Ad6627 to ChildSupport [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:47 JJFresh731 Is there a way of using send return pedals with Ableton on a vst amp?

So I'm essentially trying to use my old pedals and rack effects with ableton and can't exactly use them with an amp now because of my current living situation. Is there a way to have my physical pedals like wah and fuzz in front of the plugin amp as well as having a modulation, delay, and reverb in the send return loop after the vst amp? If so how would I go about that? Is there any equipment I need?
The chain would look like this: guitar, wah, fuzz, vst amp, mod, delay, reverb, ableton
submitted by JJFresh731 to WeAreTheMusicMakers [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:47 HeckingDoofus criticism towards criticism towards musk?????!!?!?!?? UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!! ACTIVATE BLIND RAGE

criticism towards criticism towards musk?????!!?!?!?? UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!! ACTIVATE BLIND RAGE submitted by HeckingDoofus to redditmoment [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:46 wormy-worm-worm Hoo boy so much in so little time

Alright, so, we’re getting settled!! We have folding chairs and tables, internet set up, a curtain, and my roommate just got herself a desk. I always forget to take a picture of my hair lol, lemme get a pen and some paper and then I can upload a picture of myself.
I’m currently celebrating the birthday of one of the kiddos in my chosen family. She’s 5 now!!
But as for spicy drama— I blew out not one but TWO tires on a killer curb by my apartment, and had to go to a shop at midnight to get it fixed. On the way cops pulled me over like “wtf are you doing” and I pointed to the shop LITERALLY DOWN THE STREET and went “fixin my tires”.
They waved a finger in my face to see I was drunk, only to soon realize that I am sober and simply mega stupid. I was crying about how I just wanted to go home and eat soup (my roommate makes absolutely bangin’ egg drop soup, and I forgot to take my container to work that day so I was super hungry). They let me go get my tires fixed without any charge or anything they just told me to be careful.
Shopkeeper only spoke Spanish and I went “yeah, no problem, I speak Spanish I got this” but as soon as I opened my mouth every word just disappeared. Latino privileges got revoked I guess. I could still speak I was just so nervous that my brain forgot 50% of what I needed to say. Anyways, tires got fixed.
My check engine light came on and then mysteriously disappeared again, my apartment hasn’t given my my fan back (rip can you will be missed), we had some curtain and IKEA shenanigans, and I went out to coffee with a really cute guy :)) also my friend gave me their old binders that they don’t use anymore, so I have binders now!!
My flag is hung up and I’m going to go eat pizza with my chosen family once I get out of the car.
I’ll post more when I think of it lol they just rolled up. See ya soon homies
submitted by wormy-worm-worm to countdown_to_burger [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:45 Cygnus-Ignus I’m a glass child who is recently getting more attention

For context, my sibling developed a chronic illness when I was 12. They were around the age of 15 at the time and needed help adjusting to the new changes and also had a lot of mental health issues. As a result, my mom would take my sibling to therapy sessions and doctors appointments. My dad was not very present in my life at this time either, so I was left on my own at the house for hours on end. The only time I would interact with my parents were when they would yell at me about grades and such. A few years down the road (post covid) my parents realized that they never paid much attention to me and are trying to rectify it by spending time with me. It’s a good gesture but I’m too used to them not caring about me or yelling at me all the time. Last year my mom, sibling, and I went on a trip for spring break. At this time my sibling said something about how I got hangry all the time (which is true) and my mom said “I always thought you were a go with the flow person” which is partially true but not for the reasons she thought. In a later conversation where I talked to her about how she would leave me at home, she said “I left your siblings home many times when they were that age and they were fine” to which I said “They wouldn’t come home to an empty house and be alone for hours would they?” (My parents were always home before dinner so it was never anything too bad but it was still damaging for a 12 year old). Over the span of the few years I was “emotionally neglected” (my therapist used those words to describe it), I developed the ability to be okay on my own for hours and never expected many people to talk to me when I was at home and in my room. I became comfortable in the loneliness as it was all I had. However, a string of events last year led to my parents taking an interest in my life again. My sibling (who is doing better now) is moving out soon, and I think my parents will start paying attention to me again. Which I do not want as I do not like my dad for separate reasons and find my mom to be a gaslighting, manipulative, person who I would rather not be around. The attention they give me now it already stifling, and all we do is have occasional conversations. Does anyone have advice?
submitted by Cygnus-Ignus to GlassChildren [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:44 Tornadodash I (m 30) and my father (m 56): "you know you owe me a grandson, right?" How to stop this?

I believe it is relevant to state that I have just graduated from college.
I (m30) was at my parent's house over the weekend, and out of nowhere, my father (56 yo) stated "you know you owe me a grandson, right?"
His wife (45-ish) added that I need to keep the family name alive. For the record, we are not nobility of any kind, the closest I can find in my family lineage is Lucretia Borgia, and that is definitely not my last name.
They do not know how unstable my last few years have been, while finishing school, otherwise this would not have popped up in conversation.
I simply said no, telling them that it is none of my concern if the family name dies. I have a younger brother, he's only six, they told me it was unacceptable to thrust that responsibility onto him.
My father then suggested that I just "shoot and scoot", obviously, the family name would still die off in this event.
Even if he threatened to write me out of his will, or if he promised me all of his modest estate on his death, I would not fulfill this "obligation".
Even though he is an objectionable human being (classist, racist, xenophobic) I don't want to completely write the family out of my life as I am going to need to shield his kids from the same bullshit he tried to brainwash me with.
Additional context but I think will help with giving me advice:
He is a war veteran with PTSD and an eating disorder. He is very in your face, and will say all kinds of horrible things to you directly.
9 months ago he told me I should be ashamed that I still had not graduated university and that I didn't have a real job. His words, not mine.
I will try to answer questions in the morning, thank you in advance.
Tldr: how do I get an old man to stop telling me that I owe him a grandson, when I have absolutely zero intention of reproducing, ever.
submitted by Tornadodash to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:44 feshybananas 29 [M4F] Vancouver Canada - I challenge you to a D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL

I'm going to leave my personal interests and hobbies till the end and instead going to describe a bit about myself and my thoughts first to provide readers with a bit of insight as to where I come from and how I see/operate.
I consider myself to be quite introspective and more often than not find myself to be quite different from other folks, but at the same time I can't decide for myself if I'm the odd one or if they are. I've never understood concepts of popularity, clout, class structure, surrounding yourself with as many people as possible, and all that. I've seen and experienced it, but never something I'd consider myself. I questioned whether if I was asexual throughout my life because I never seemed to desire finding a partner like my friends and peers but I've always been been interested in romance and all that despite not having any real initiative. I'm glad to have had a relationship before and honestly speaking it was healthy and devoid of toxic, but I was personally not in the right mind and ended it out of confusion and for "soul" searching, only to end up in a more questionable state. Since then I wondered if I'd find romance again during Uni and quite frankly those years just flew by with me trying to have minimal interaction with my peers and aiming for the bare minimum. I don't want to call it a regret but for all my life I truly believed in your stereotypical romance discovery and happily ever after nonsense, I mean who wouldn't, it sounds so convenient. Fast forward to today and while I can say that I've accepted my loneliness, societal and peer pressure has been rough on keeping these feelings contained.
So what would most people say/do? Go get it then. Well, yes, but no at the same time. Wants and desires aside, my question is HOW? I'm still that minimal interaction, content with loneliness individual. I still have the same young desires of finding true love and whatnot, but those years of being alone definitely took a toll on my mental and emotional strength, it's not just as simple as "putting myself out there" as others would say, that's honestly not what I want and how I wish for things to play out. We're complicated creatures, despite describing myself as a pretty simple guy, we all have our own egos and desires behind our personalities and it's hard to break our cycle. So that brings me here in hopes of searching for someone that understands this, someone's solution might not work for another.
This isn't a post asking for advice, it's more of a "here this is how I operate and think, do you UNDERSTAND me" kind of thing. I know the answer and conclusion, but I don't know the in-betweens and the only way to achieve that is to discover it with someone together. I don't consider myself to be picky, but without understanding and honesty I just can't even start in the first place. I don't mind being wrong 99 times as long as I get it right once.
I'm not a selfish or entitled individual, if anything I value individualism and strong morals above all. But at the same time I'm not a charity case where I can focus on the happiness of others. I strongly believe in the concept that everyone is dealing with something and the best way out of it is to find the answer yourself. This doesn't mean that it's wrong to ask for help, as a matter of fact REACHING out for help yourself and reaching that conclusion yourself can be the right steps to take. I don't believe in helping others unless they ask for it, and that doesn't mean giving things when people ask for it, no, more like okay I'll help you seek your answer but you must find it yourself still. Why? Because the best lessons and achievements I can reflect on are the ones I found myself, it's what makes the character, otherwise you're just copying and pasting what and how you should live based on others, and that's not your own happiness.
I guess you could say I'm pretty oldschool/boomer thinking and yeah I'd agree. I'm horribly stubborn on some things but also very open minded about others. I accept that things will always change whether we like it or not, but I'm also able to cherish things I value myself. I believe in discipline and sticking with your beliefs, but being open minded enough where you can admit your wrongs to become a better person.
If you made it this far and think to yourself, wow you're literally me, awesome, I'm glad someone else exists but what you do with it is up to you. I'm putting myself out here because I've given up on waiting in the real world, as a matter of fact I never really tried, but I realized that part of the world already left without me so this is my next best guess on where to find people that may share my sort of thinking and values.
Now what the f do I do with my time? I am extremely grateful that I'm introverted and actually enjoy doing things alone or else I probably would have lost my mind by now. Shoutout to all the early 2000s and 2010 anime for being there for me when I needed it most during my uni days, nowhere near as big of a watcher today but I do like to rewatch certified hood classics and whatever seems to be interesting today, I guess the discovery phase is over. Been a gamer my whole life so I have some strong opinions about the state of the garbage that's being released today, but I have been enjoying the crap out of the new Zelda game so there's still hope in the industry despite nintendo being a heaping POS. Pretty casual about music now, I could do without it most of the time but I still find myself listening to 80s-2000s hiphop, OSTs, indie, and whatever sounds good to me. Feel too old and lazy to follow all the latest tech but I do enjoy it in general, I like minmaxing products and always prefer quality over cost whenever I do decide to spend. Lately been getting into watches but I seem to be able to appreciate mechanical things made with precision. Giga car nut, I'll just leave it at that since I can talk for years about it.
Will laugh at and ignore bots and people that say one or two words expecting a response. Not interested in anything that's not local/semi-local, sorry I guess
submitted by feshybananas to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:44 PrimaryHalf2364 I need help.

Got a dog back in 2019 that was so depressed at the shelter he wasn’t eating and almost died because of it. We rescued him and almost immediately he snapped at and bit someone on a hike. After another instance like this my wife and I decided to seek professional help where we sent the dog away for a month, even though he nipped at the trainer the first day she ended up being fairly successful with him and even said how much she loved him. Back at home things were fantastic IN the house, but whenever he would be outside at all he was muzzled and still would be very reactive.
Tonight he bit my 2 year old. They play together constantly and this seemed out of nowhere. We feel the only thing to do is put the dog down which is breaking us. Looking for advice or anyone that has gone through this.
submitted by PrimaryHalf2364 to reactivedogs [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:44 letsgohalfonasack How do I apologize to my teenage kids for their childhood?

I (38f) was a teen mom, I had my 1st son shortly after my 18th birthday. I was a recovering meth addict (I had been using for 2 years prior). I then had my daughter 3 years later. I have stayed clean since I was pregnant with my oldest. In the simplest of terms, I struggled hard when they were young, I had undiagnosed anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD. I didn’t handle stress well. All I wanted was my kids to have everything “regular” kids had so I killed myself for that. (I started going to university when my son was 2 and I had very little support.)
I tried my best. I mean I loved my kids and I would do anything for them. However I did have a few poor relationships when they were young. A lot of fighting- nothing physical. I partied a lot as well- drinking, but they did see me drunk more than I’d like to admit. I know I did damage to them when they were growing up.
I always felt like I was just hanging on by a thread.
When my kids now (19m, 16f) get upset with me-they will say things like “well the trauma I had from when I was a kid” and things like that in arguments. I have asked them when they’re not upset what they meant and to talk about it, but they’ll say it’s nothing, sweep it under the rug type of response.
Physical, sexual, or mental abuse 100% never occurred. If emotional abuse happened then it was from me being unavailable.
My question is, how do I fix it or make it better? I don’t want it to be an apology about me, or saying “this happened because I was struggling”. My kids know I struggled, they were robbed because of it. I want them to feel a weight lifted from telling me. I want to ease them of whatever I did or didn’t do. Maybe someone had a parent that was the same way that could tell me what would help them.
My kids are doing well. My son just got accepted into university and starts this fall. My daughter is going into grade 12 and she just got her license.
submitted by letsgohalfonasack to Parenting [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:43 LRMcDouble How do you get into games when you don’t have enough free time to enjoy them?

I am wanting to replay Far Cry 4, I played it for the first time about 2 years ago during Covid, and it was mesmerizing. Everything I wanted in a game; open world, fps, exploration, beautiful scenery. I want to experience it again but every time I try to load up the game, I just get discouraged. I usually only have about 1 hour at most to get immersed and that’s just not enough time. I feel rushed, and not able to enjoy anything because as soon as I start enjoying myself, it’s time to go tend to my responsibilities. That’s why games like Rocket League appeal to me so much. I hop on, play a few games, and hop off.
Has anyone experienced something similar to this. I love older video games and beautiful scenery. I have a 4090 for that reason, just to get those maxed 4k graphics. I just feel so stressed every time I get on. I have all this money into a beautiful computer, but just don’t have time to get immersed in a game. I want to enjoy nice rpg games again, but I just don’t know how. Is there any hope or am I just getting too old?
submitted by LRMcDouble to patientgamers [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:42 Comfortable-Noise-67 Engine running lean

My son’s 2008 Volvo XC70 with ~100k miles on it is suddenly having issues. As he was driving it three days ago, the warning light popped on saying the tranny fluid is low, a check engine light popped on, and the car started making like a high-pitched loud screech. The OEM reader indicates that the engine is running lean, which I believe means there is too much air in the air:fuel ratio. I do not see any fluid leaks underneath the car and the low tranny fluid light doesnt show up now when you turn it on. Although he hasn’t really used it except to move it from the garage and back into the garage at which time I didn’t hear the loud screech—although he claims it was whining. I am really hoping to get an idea of what might be going on and with that knowledge attempt to determine how much $ we are looking at, if it needs to remain parked until it gets fixed, can he even drive it to a mechanic shop, etc. There seems to be so many possibilities when an engine is running lean, but I am hoping someone can give me more insight. Thank you
submitted by Comfortable-Noise-67 to AskMechanics [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:42 Thick-Quail-5148 Hey welcome to HAAAAARDcoreDopeheads!

No spectators. This is drugs except I won't get shamed for doing a 50 shot of coke at the exact same time I did a 50 shot of meth the exact same shot. This is not a subreddit where a 16 year old goes and asks how does consume cannabis for their first time and this isn't where you go to brag about drinking your first beer or even taking acid for the first time. This is where you go when you find a dirty rig lying out on the pavement and you go to a puddle draw up some water and then use that water to dilute somebody's bloodshot before putting $80 worth of heroin and said bloodshot and doing it right on the spot.
submitted by Thick-Quail-5148 to HAAAARDcoreDopeheads [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:42 Kabira17 I am at my wit’s end with the clinginess

I am losing my damn mind. My recently turned 4 yo is the clingiest (is that a word? I’m so tired I don’t care) she has ever been. I play with her. I do all her daily routines with her, morning and bedtime. I am with her every minute that she is not at daycare. I give her time warnings and set limits but she is literally clinging to my body. And if she’s not on my body, she is looking for me and whining or crying when I step out of sight.
I can’t take it anymore.
Example: bedtime routine tonight. My husband offers. She rejects him. My MIL who is visiting and it’s her last night here offers. She rejects grandma too. Only mommy will do for bedtime (even though I do bedtime solo 4-5 nights every week because of work schedules).
Fine. I go downstairs for bedtime. We go through the whole routine. Brush teeth. Pajamas. Read books. Sing lullabies. It’s time for her to lie in bed and I sit by her for five minutes. I give her time warnings at every minute. She has literally had the same bedtime routine since she was five weeks old. She knows it. She knows what comes next. Her sleep has been regimented most of her life because that has been our struggle for her. She knows exactly how things go to the T.
She takes a water and potty break at 1 min left but I tell her when she comes back from the potty, she still only has one minute left until we give kisses and say good night.
“Okay, mommy.” She says.
But as soon as the minute is up and I give her a hug and kiss good night, the hysterics start.
“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I want you! Don’t go! Please mommy! Please mommy!”
There are nights I give her an extra minute. But I’m so touched out and exhausted (we have been on “vacation” for a week and she’s literally been hanging on me every minute she is awake. I can’t take anymore), I’m done. I tell her I love her very much. I give her another kiss. But then I tell her good night and shut the door. She cries for a minute. But I walk away, also in tears. A minute later, I hear her on the monitor softly talking and singing to her stuffed animal (she also does this every night for 10-15 minutes and then falls asleep independently). She’s fine. It’s the same every night. As soon as I can actually break the connection, she’s totally fine. But breaking the connection always comes with this extreme angst.
But why oh why does she have to cry and pull at my heartstrings literally every time I just need to be in another room. It’s not just bedtime. It’s when I need to make a meal. Or get a drink. Or take a fucking shit. It’s been like this for months and I need it to stop.
I don’t really know if this is a rant or if I want advice. Advice is hard to give when I’m only able to type so much here. Every kid and situation is unique and I can’t go into all the details in a single post. I just can’t take this much longer. I’m going crazy and starting to feel frustration with her. I hate that my tone is short sometimes. She’s 4. She just wants her mom. That’s normal. But I feel like this level of cling is not normal and I’m so exhausted.
submitted by Kabira17 to breakingmom [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:42 Hummof My childhood sleep paralysis came back after years...

I am 15 years old... And i havent experienced any nightmare or sleep paralysis in yearss!! my sleep is pretty good but this night i was awake the whole night for some reason, i kept dreaming for 8 hours straight while i knew i could open my eyes whole way through...
its 6 am now.. i was dreaming and suddenly i hear my dads alarm clock, i thought "huh thats weird, isnt it too early for him?" and i hear footsteps approaching and thats when it struck me. its my sleep paralysis demon and i tried to escape i coudlnt move. my eyes were open and i could see light but when i moved it only seemed like the insides of my brain moved (yknow when you spin around and stop ur head keeps spinning). i quickly told myself "this is sleep paralysis ok wake up wake up" and he was getting closer. he was here any second now. and i hear like 2 thuds. like a heartbeat. yknow when in movies tberes shocking information theres 2 heartbeats. after that i jerked myself off and got free...
now as my childhood i always had a sleep paralysis demon from time to time and it was the same demon over and over. since its been years i forgot its face but i can tell you how it always appeared.. When i was a kid i would always hear my dads alarm clock and then he would come and wake me up... Perfect ambush! My sleep paralysis demon would just be an imposter of my dad.. Starts with an alarm clock. And scary footsteps into my room (which i am fuly convinced is my dad) then i would just see its face and thousands and millions of words with the voice of my dad would just tell me it oddly had a reverbed sound of my dad. and wherever i tried to look away his face was like imprinted on my eye in the center. Then after torturing me me shitting myself i would either get woken up by my real dad or myself.
I am not scared right now or anything i escaped from it. its just something i rememberd about my childhood
submitted by Hummof to Sleepparalysis [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:42 kbsmth Trying to get back on a bike!

I recently moved to an area in Utah where there is probably more bikes per household than vehicles, and my neighborhood is at the mouth of dozens of trails. Naturally I've got the itch to get back in the saddle and get a full suspension bike, but the industry has changed a lot since I last rode. It has probably been about 15 years since I've owed a bike and have some questions I'm hoping this group might be able to help me with. If there is a site, article, or wiki that answers some of these questions - please share!
  1. In HS & college I used to ride bmx park and do a little dirt jumping but it seems like bike sizes are all over the place now - I'm 6'2", 210 lbs - should I be looking for a Large, or XL?
  2. Are there any particular brands I should be avoiding?
  3. How old is too old for a used bike?
  4. Aluminum? Carbon? Signs of damage I should keep an eye on for either?
  5. I don't think I can afford a new bike with how high the prices are - is it possible to find something reasonable for ~$1,500?
  6. Anything else I should know?
submitted by kbsmth to mountainbiking [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 04:42 Throwra_demon2323 I 28 m , Jack 30 m , My best friend wife is flirting with me ?

My best friend wife
I 28 male , my best friend Male 30 let's call him Jack
So here's my story
Jack and i met 13 years ago and Jack is one of the few people who i trust blindly with everything We support each other in everything
He's really a special person.
Jack got married to a girl 2 years ago , I don't even know her name. I did attend his wedding but it was very brief and i had to leave early because of an emergency.
It's true that he's my best friend and i knew nothing about his relationship but it's his relationship and i don't ask questions or get involved in whatever Even after he got married i didn't even ask him how they met or what's even her name.
Anyhow ... After Jack got married , he started having some medical issues, serious medical issues.
My friend jack has some bad habits like smoking and vaping and it really damaged him during the years.
He started feeling sick 2 years ago and i told him like hey jack stop smoking stop doing this and that and go to the hospital and just do a full check on your body.
He said : I'm fineeee it's nothing , it's nothing... He kept ignoring his problem untill it escalated during this 2 years
For 6 months straight jack stayed at home doing nothing, sick at home not even able to walk anymore. He can walk but like a 90 years old he gets tired so quickly. His wife have been taking care of him in this past 2 years And he's not getting any better.
I've been going from time to time to visit him but i stopped going a while ago because i was just busy with life yk i have so many responsibilites and i had no free time.
My best friend jack got upset with me because i stopped visiting him and checking on him
I got a call from unknown number , it was Jack's wife saying that jack is really really sick and he's in the hospital now.
I rushed to the hospital and when i walked in on them i was in fucking shock
When i saw my friend, he was just in a very terrible position He's so so skinny that i can literally see his bones throughout his pants and clothes His face was so pale and he was barely able to talk.
I was thinking inside my head ... My best friend is going to die. I stayed with him all night long in his room untill it was morning, i didn't even sleep.
I got up and left because i have to go to work.
Later after .... I got a text from his wife saying: Thank you for staying with him ....blah blah blah
I read her message on WhatsApp and just left her on read
I went to work and then i got another message from his wife she said : hey can you please bring dinner with you for jack on your way back here
I was like what the hell is wrong with this women ? Why is she texting me , if jack wants something he would text me and tell me bring dinner or whatever. Ever heard about deliveries lady ?? And on your way back here she said ... I want to fucking sleep.
But i just ignored the whole situation and i texted her back and i said : okay I'll bring dinner with me later
I went back to the hospital and brought dinner , as soon as i walked in , my friend jack said hey you didn't have to bring dinner with you , i can't eat this food anyways.
His wife said yeah i texted him and i told him to bring dinner.
Anyhow i stayed there for a while and then i told him i need to go home and get some sleep.
He said okay. I went home and i just sat down chilling ... I got a new text from his wife again.
She said hey .. what are you up to ? I replied: nothing much I'm just chilling , what about you ?
She said : nothing much too just watching and taking care of jack , it's been a rough 2 years for the both of us.
I replied: yeah i hope he gets better.
She said : me too. She said : hey would you be down to maybe eat breakfast tomorrow
I replied: yeah I'm coming to the hospital in the morning anyways, we can all have breakfast together.
She said :, no just the both of us , Jack can't eat any solid food anyways, not in his condition.
Tbh it got me thinking, what does she want ? What's her end goal , is this just a friendly suggestion?
She's hella attractive I'm not going to lie but... I'm obviously not interested in her in any way and i will never be interested in her because she's my best friend wife.
But she's being too friendly and tbh i don't get what she wants from me.
And if i even have to tell my best friend about it ? What if i tell him and it makes his condition worse. Is it even worth it telling him about something like that ? Is it not serious ? Im lost people... Help.
submitted by Throwra_demon2323 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]