Is normal heights san diego safe

The Normal Heights Neighborhood of San Diego, CA

2015.08.25 08:57 daksin The Normal Heights Neighborhood of San Diego, CA

Discuss local events and goings-on, get restaurant or business recommendations, and learn about this cool little corner of the city!

2010.07.17 20:27 incaseyoucare SDSU

**Leadership Starts Here** SDSU provides transformative experiences for students in research, international experiences, sustainability and entrepreneurship initiatives, and a broad range of student life and leadership opportunities.

2011.08.27 00:18 Ringgoo The RΛZΞR Subreddit

Made by redditors, for redditors, to discuss RΛZΞR products. Razer is the world leader in gaming hardware and systems. Razer support only in the pinned post.

2023.06.02 18:04 nintendhoe_64 I wish I could enjoy love freely but it often feels unsafe. I met a guy that seemed like it could be casual all because he was moving away but it made me realize I was NOT ready.

I survived a domestic violence assault over a year ago and my entire life changed in many ways for the better. The friends who stayed, I have a deeper relationship with and I have new friends in my life now. It is just disheartening to realize the people you surrounded yourself with previously were bad for you.
Since my divorce is being finalized, and it's been a long time since I dated, when my long-time gym crush approached me I was shocked he even thought I was cute. We've been training at the same place for over a year now but barely ever talked. He started approaching me a bit before he was moving away.
I think for the both of us because I am slightly older [30F, 22M], it felt safe for him to open up to me. It also felt safe for me to spend time with him because I thought he was just after a hookup and he was moving away. I find I struggle relationally with older men right now because I find often they treat me like the manic pixie archetype or they are looking for commitment but I really cannot offer that right now. I live like a student due to the divorce debts and look young.
I thought the hangouts was him trying to love bomb me but I realized if I was a younger woman, I would have loved his openness. Instead, I felt immediately triggered by his affection and my attraction toward him. We had similar type of humour and could talk for hours. He was really interesting in the way he observed the world, I could tell he was really sensitive.
When he divulged that he struggled last year too, I immediately became a bit defensive questioning his intentions. I think I ended up hurting his feelings. Neither of us expected to connect so well in the time we spent together, we were never physically intimate but the chemistry started to really build over the few days.
For a bit I was upset he was slow ghosting me and thought he was unreliable but I realized that it was me who probably made him feel bad. After talking to my friends and my therapist, I realized he was probably embarrassed I was not reciprocating and he is young so his feelings are extra strong. He didn't cross boundaries and was very sweet. He didn't seem that young to me, he had a career and a car. He was really mature towards people in groups and I always see him be helpful to the younger members of the gym.
I didn't accuse him of slow ghosting and I told him I felt bad for the way I reacted. I told him I am just a bit complicated with how I respond to connection with what happened to me. I really like him as a person and wish I knew him sooner. I haven't heard anything back yet since he probably needs a lot of time to process since my previous text was that I thought maybe he was busy before his move or I seemed more confrontational about wanting to talk in person but he didn't do anything that made me feel bad. I realized before he may have thought he made me feel unsafe with his flirtation.
I didn't really tell him this part but I wish I had kissed him in the car at least and didn't question him so much but I get so scared now when people take a strong interest in me that seems genuine. I get scared of my own feelings too. I wish I was still fun to date but it made me realize, I was avoiding intimacy by engaging in something that was probably a dead end. I get sad thinking about how I used to be shocked when a guy I thought was cute was interested in me. It really speaks to how bad my self-esteem is.
I got freaked out when we were talking about life and what we wanted. He said something about how he rarely finds women attractive on a different level and likes people who live their life fully. He said he sees this in me. It should have been a good compliment but I immediately was like you have NO IDEA who I am or the details of my life. Somewhat true but at the same time, he just spent time opening up about his own life and I was zero receptive. I was suspicious he thought I was a strong person and interesting. My therapist says of course he will think he rarely finds women attractive when he shut down for a bit due to trauma and has only had 1 girlfriend. That's normal for his age.
Maybe this is the last interaction we'll have but he has a habit of being gone for a few months and moving back. He did say he was coming back to visit often but it was a short connection that really taught me a lot. It was a positive experience for me but I hope I did not hurt him in the process since I have a lot of big complicated feelings now due to my traumas.
submitted by nintendhoe_64 to CPTSD [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:59 I_am_not_Jacob How do I use Suboxone and avoid physical/mental dependency?

Hello. I am 21 and M. About a month and a half ago, I quit Oxycodone 30s (was doing about 2-5 a day) because I couldn't financially support it anymore and my relationship was at stake. I was on them for about 2 and a 1/2 months. I lost my good paying job because of it. I accidentally got hooked on them. I was self medicating for a genuine health problem I went to 2 urgent cares for and the ER that they were not willing to fix except for antibiotics that one of the urgent cares said wouldn't help anything because an infection wasn't the problem. I had agonizing pain in my di*k whenever I went to pee. It felt like almost like a blockage was in there and everytime I would try to pee, it would burn beyond belief. I theorize it may have been kidney stones, because 2 weeks after using the Oxy it just disappeared without a trace. When I decided to quit the Oxies because I had no use for them anymore.. my body subliminally adapted to them very fast and I got super sick at work, couldn't sleep that night because of unbearable restless leg syndrome and I got fired the next day because of my lack of ability to function throughout the day.
I failed to quit the first time because of how awful the withdrawals felt that it terrified me it was going to last forever.. which led me to buying more Oxies behind my girlfriend's back (no worries, her and I already talked about it, I came through to her after a week of doing it because I couldn't stand myself hiding it from her)
Even though the agonizing physical withdrawals have subsided after a week or 2 of quitting, I still have strong mental urges to just get high. Not get high off of Oxies, but just get high in general. It feels like I cannot go a day without using something: specifically Adderall (not prescribed yet. I have been diagnosed to have ADHD by my girlfriend's psychiatrist she referred me to. I love her so much.)
However, I have tried Suboxone during the physical withdrawals (recreational and sold from a trusted friend I've known since Elementary).. about 4 to 5 days after. The results: It didn't do shit. I was told to do only a half a quarter, move up to a quarter if I don't feel anything, then a half, then the rest. I did the whole 8mg Suboxone that day and it didn't do anything. Fast forward to a month later.. a week and a half ago from today.
I decided to try the Suboxone route again because I was getting really desperate.. I have come to the conclusion that the Oxies gave me really bad Anhedonia and Avolition. This time just doing a quarter, it made me feel normal. A little euphoric, but I wasn't craving to chase the euphoria. I actually managed to do things without the unmotivation and the cravings for some kind of drug to push me forward. My Anhedonia and Avolition seemed like it got temporarily banadaged. The next day I did a quarter again and it didn't do much, except this time it made me feel just "okay" but it wasn't like the first time. The next day I did a half and it didn't do much else besides make me nod in-and-out after a few hours of being on it. Ever since then, I've been doing Suboxone almost every other day. Yesterday I did a whole one and it didn't do anything much after a 2-3 day break (sorry my time lines are so jumbled that I have to give a general estimate).
I have 2 8mg Suboxones left. I don't want to use them if the fast-tolerance build up is a sign or if it's just from the Naloxone that's still in my system from using them for the past couple weeks. I have also noticed a strange anxiety the next day whenever I come down from them that's damn near scary.. it kind of reminds me of what the Oxy withdrawals felt like. It was condescending.
The Oxy withdrawals traumatized me and about destroyed the best relationship I could have ever hoped to receive in this lifetime. I want to be able to function throughout the day without the sheer weight of dopamine deficiency and apathy take the steering wheel of my life when we just downsized into an apartment because the house we were at was way too expensive for either of us, even with the job I had.
I want to be able to use this medicine without my body becoming dependent on it.. because from what I have heard, Buprenorphine withdrawals are significantly worse than Opiate withdrawals and after what I just went through with the Oxy's without realizing what the hell I was getting into, I am utterly terrified of the thought of ever having to go through something like that again, because I don't know if I would be able to bear it.
**TO GENERALIZE MY QUESTION: After 2 weeks of off and on Suboxone use, generally 1-4 days of straight using it, either dosing one quarter a day/a half a day, then coming off of it for a few days and going back to get more, would my body in theory develope a dependency on it? I can already do a whole one without feeling much after 2 weeks ago when doing a quarter gave me the medicinal lift I needed.
Take a break or is it safe to move up and do more?
Advice! Thank you.. also, substitute medicines that has helped you is also very welcome. I welcome all feedback.
submitted by I_am_not_Jacob to addiction [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:55 IamDave777 Opiate cross tolerance…?

Ive read there is a cross tolerance, but will my tolerance to traditional opiates (morphine/DHC/Codeine etc) have dropped if I switched to kratom for several days then jumped back onto an opiate? Like will I need to lower my dose or will it be safe for me to take the amount of opiate I was taking before recently switching to Kratom? TLDR: Will my opiate tolerance have droped as normal if using kratom during opiate break?
submitted by IamDave777 to kratomeu [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:53 IamDave777 Cross tolerance with Opiates …?

Ive read there is a cross tolerance, but will my tolerance to traditional opiates (morphine/DHC/Codeine etc) have dropped if I switched to kratom for several days then jumped back onto an opiate? Like will I need to lower my dose or will it be safe for me to take the amount of opiate I was taking before recently switching to Kratom? TLDR: Will my opiate tolerance have droped as normal if using kratom during opiate break?
submitted by IamDave777 to kratom [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:52 IamDave777 Opiate cross tolerance ... ?

Ive read there is a cross tolerance, but will my tolerance to traditional opiates (morphine/DHC/Codeine etc) have dropped if I switched to kratom for several days then jumped back onto an opiate? Like will I need to lower my dose or will it be safe for me to take the amount of opiate I was taking before recently switching to Kratom? TLDR: Will my opiate tolerance have droped as normal if using kratom during opiate break?
submitted by IamDave777 to KratomKorner [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:52 LurkinMostlyOnlyYes I might have made a big mistake coming out to my Christian big brother/mother's side of the family. Help?

Note, this is going to be a LONG one.
So I don't know where to begin, but I guess I'll start by saying hi, I'm bisexual. I've been questioning my sexuality all my life and I've always been "weird" emotionally, but in the last 6 years I really started to reconsider what I was. I realized that I like women more than men romantically about 2 years ago, and I came out to myself and my little sisters a year ago. They're really nice and accepting of me! I told my mom about my bisexuality a few months ago, but she's in denial about it. She didn't tell anyone though, which is great.
Then a few weeks ago, I was talking to my big brother about something. For context, my sisters are 19-21, I'm turning 25 and my brother is in his mid to late 30s. My sisters live with my mom, I live on my own with a roommate and my brother has his own family and lives with them. I'm moving soon, my roommate is abusive and cruel towards me, and I'm being given the opportunity to move in with my aunt on my mom's side until I can save some money and move out into a different place. I should also mention that from what I know, I'm the only atheist member of my family. Everyone else is Christian and pretty toxic about it. We're also all Black, which might be relevant bc Black atheists are exceptionally rare.
Before I accepted the offer of moving in with my aunt, I talked to my brother about it bc I usually trust him to help me with matters. He's usually good with it. During the conversation, I off handedly mentioned that I didn't feel comfortable moving in with her because I'm Queer and an Atheist and my aunt is religious and straight and I don't know how'd she take it. My brother (over the phone) pauses and says "you know you've never told me that before right?". I didn't think much of it at the time so I said nope but that's what I am. We continue to talk about moving in with my aunt, I decide that I should be able to fake the funk for a while/ just not tell her about things (I really don't have any other choice bc my current roommate is even worse), but at the end of the conversation my brother makes it a point to say that he thinks my bisexuality is a choice. By this time I have to go, so I just roll my eyes and tell him that I have to go.
That interaction hurt, so I decided to call my brother back yesterday to try and fix his line of thinking. I think we all know that homosexuality isn't a choice. I explain that to him, and we end up having a very traumatic 2 hour phone call. During the conversation he said a lot of hurtful things, compared homosexuality to beastiality, implied that I'm gay because I have a bad relationship with our father (I do but that doesn't correlate whatsoever), implied that homosexuality isn't natural and the whole thing. I don't want to repeat some of what he said because it's really offensive actualy. He then began to zero in on my atheism. I told him that I believe the world is random but that it's up to us to make meaning from it, and he called my worldview "very sad". Then he began to try and push the idea that I belong with a man because "our parts just fit together. We have complimentary parts, that's what the Bible says" (he's talking about our privates I think). Then he went back to saying that if I had a better relationship with my dad I wouldn't be gay, and if I accepted God more maybe I'd see the truth. Then he seemed to be insistent on finding out "what else influenced me". I think he's talking about my university experience (I'm the only member of our family with a degree).
I don't know if I'm making sense here, but eventually he ended the call claiming that he'd always love me nonetheless, but that I need to go to therapy and pray. The call pretty much ruined my day, and since then I've been really reconsidering a lot. I really didn't appreciate my sexuality being dismissed as "daddy issues", and I didn't like him pushing his religion on me and invalidating my viewpoints. I'm also a bit scared at the ramifications that this might have. He's already apparently called our Mom to tell her about this conversation, but if he tells my aunt I don't know how she'll take me moving in with her (my aunt is normally pretty chill but she's very religious and I don't know how she feels about gay people). Im also a bit nervous about my family in general. I used to think it was safe being out of the closet (about both my non-faith and my sexuality) around them, but now I just want to go back in.
I don't know. Does anyone have any idea of what I should do now? I feel really sick tbh. And before anyone else asks, I've already told my current roommate that I'm moving out, and I don't have any money right now so moving into my aunts house is an inevitability now.
Thanks in advance for any help you guys can give.
submitted by LurkinMostlyOnlyYes to exchristian [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:51 IamDave777 Kratom Cross Tolerance with Opiates questions

Ive read there is a cross tolerance, but will my tolerance to traditional opiates (morphine/DHC/Codeine etc) have dropped if I switched to kratom for several days then jumped back onto an opiate? Like will I need to lower my dose or will it be safe for me to take the amount I was taking before recently switching to Kratom? TLDR: Will my opiate tolerance have droped as normal if using kratom during opiate break?
submitted by IamDave777 to opiates [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:48 Mercenary-Adjacent Update: Phalaenopsis orchid help needed (suspect advanced problem)

Update: Phalaenopsis orchid help needed (suspect advanced problem)
I posted previously about my orchid having some yellowing. I now suspect my orchid has somehow caught an infection or fungus. I posted pictures and there is a fuzzy moldy looking spot just below the paper clip in the first photo. I gently dragged the tip of the paper lip through it, so it’s more clear in the second photo (before I touched it with the clip). What do I do? My theory is the humidity at my office is suddenly unusually high this week. Normally it’s quite dry, but today it’s 60%. I think this resulted in a spot of water sitting on the orchid or something. Also, are my other orchids safe? They all look healthy so I think it’s just this little guy but I want to know if I should keep them separate. I’ve heard maybe put cinnamon on the plant??? This guy was super healthy before all this and the other new roots haven’t yet died.
submitted by Mercenary-Adjacent to plantclinic [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:47 ThatDoodch Setlist: June 2, 2023 - The Mint, Los Angeles, CA

SAN DIEGO! Last night, Jimmy said something to the effect: "I didn't expect to see so many of you here!" SD really showed out for the Dogs. It was an amazing thing to watch over stream. And you all know how to get down too! Dog Pound West is gaining some serious steam. Coming straight out the gates with a blazing Cats Under the Stars, the Dogs played a ripping 1-setter to kick off Summer Tour that included a disco-laden Snow Day, a jazzy & smooth Watermelon Man and a debut of the complex tempo-changer Gumball. Heavy hitters Bent Strange, Craig and Pat and Writing on the Wall helped finish out a beautiful night on the beach.
Not sure if anyone else was streaming, but how about that sound huh?! It was near flawless quality. DIAP treks to La La Land tonight for the start of the weekend. Los Angeles, you're up!
LA live setlist
West Coast Poster
Shows are being added more quickly than ever! Keep up with your newest addiction and head over to the Dogs Bandcamp or Nugs for the latest soundboards:
submitted by ThatDoodch to dogsinapile [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:47 Nuker1o1 Anyone know if downloading a mod overhaul will brick an already modded skyrim?

I'm considering downloading Enderal for skyrim SE, thing is I already have it modded from my pc and porting over the files to my deck. If I did add Enderal would it act as a pop-up when I click launch? Sorta like "launch in safe mode" or "launch normal mode"?
submitted by Nuker1o1 to SteamDeckTricks [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:46 The_Alloquist [A Lord of Death] - Chapter 53 (Efrain)

[←Chapter 52] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 54→]
Efrain woke, and with consciousness reasserting itself came a pain unlike any he’d ever experienced. It was a lugubrious sensation that stretched over the entirety of his body like a giant bruise. It took a further moment to remember that this was not normal, and in fact was quite alarming. He tried to gauge where he was, but found only blackness to greet him.
So I’m blind as well? He thought, with all the dispassionate annoyance of a man finding a favoured tool lost.
He could still feel his feet and fingers, wrapped in cloth as they were, so that was a comfort. Reaching for his head, he found the cold stone of the mask still there, though it lacked a lot of the curse that gave it its ‘hungry’ quality. Tugging it, he felt it resettle into a more natural position, and with it light came in to show his surroundings.
There was canvas arcing over a ribcage of wood, which rocked with every turn and bump in the rode. A gentle sunlight managed to penetrate the cloth, flickering with the passage of leaves. Efrain gripped the wooden frame and drew himself up to sit, trying to remember how he’d gotten here. His groan at the effort attracted the attention of Innie, who was sitting by the open slit near the front.
“Efrain?” she asked, hesitatingly.
“Yes, yes. It’s me,” he said, the words feeling foreign and slippery on his non-existent tongue.
“Efrain?” she asked again.
“Yes! Yes. It’s me. Here, somehow. What the hell happened?”
“You… you absolute fool!” she half-screamed, “you nearly got yourself killed!”
“I-” he said, the phrase ‘got yourself killed’ stirring something of a memory within. It was very distant, without much cohesion, like a memory of childhood. Still, there was enough there to remember some definite sensations, a sight and sound or two-
“You know what,” he said slowly, “I think I might’ve actually been dead, at least for a little bit,” he said, pulling at his hood.
“What?!” she gasped, “how could you possibly know that?”
“I was… somewhere else. I can barely remember, but it was so strange. I had my body again, I think, and it was…” he started trying to piece together the fragments flitting about the edge of recollection.
Her expression suggested that she was actively considering the potential that her partner had gone completely insane.
“It was someplace I don’t think I’ve ever been before, but it was still familiar,” he said, “I think I met somewhere there. Or multiple people. I definitely saw- there was something that-”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“It was- it was very strange,” he said, further efforts to find other words failing him, “well, in any case, I’m back. I think so, anyway.”
“How do you feel?”
“Like I’ve been dashed against a cliffside,” he laughed, “I thought I wasn’t supposed to feel pain in this form. That was supposed to be one of the advantages.”
“You scared me. The only reason I didn’t think you were fully dead was that your bones retained their shape, even though you were unconscious.”
“Huh…” Efrain murmured, raising an arm to inspect it, “that shouldn’t be possible. The enchantments holding me together should’ve fallen apart as soon as I went under.”
After a cursory inspection to verify all of his limbs were present and more-or-less correct, he looked over at the cat.
“However it happened, it would appear that I’m not done yet,” he said slowly, only half-sure in the conviction.
There was something different about how he experienced himself, just in the background, but definitely there. It was a sense of disconnection, like he was floating just behind or above his body, experiencing what he did from an outside perspective.
“Well, I suppose that’s… good,” said Innie.
“Don’t cry too much for me,” he said, “anyways what happened? I don’t remember anything after the crypt, other than the fire.”
“We did it,” she said, “more-or-less, the creatures were largely incinerated, good riddance. Unfortunately a defender or two got caught up in the blaze, as well.”
“Oh dear,” Efrain said.
“Are you really surprised? It wasn’t our power, and we certainly didn’t know how to control it. I’m surprised we didn’t burn ourselves in the process.”
“Not an experience I would care to undergo again, that’s for sure.”
Innie’s shiver indicated that she thought much the same.
“Right, right,” he continued, “so then, how did we get from there to here, then? And where is here?”
“A wagon, travelling with the train of troops, heading south for Karkos. The commander offered you a slot, unconscious as you were.”
“I would’ve thought burning a few villagers would’ve soured his disposition.”
“Apparently not. Efrain, I don’t know this man, but he’s clearly playing his own game, and it involves you.”
“I see,” he said, tugging at his robe so that it hung around his shoulder more naturally, “I assume you acted on my behalf while I was… gone, for lack of a better word.”
“I did what I could, which wasn’t much. I was fully expecting them to fall upon us after that, especially you, defenceless. But no, he came to me and proposed that we come with him.”
“He… treated with you?”
“He said that we probably wouldn’t find much welcome among the villagers, and the paladins were not inclined to let us go either. His soldiers, on the other hand, would follow his orders, and he could personally guarantee our safety all the way to Karkos if we chose to come.”
“And you went with him,” Efriain sighed.
“What else was I supposed to do?” None of your ‘friends’ were nearby, and Naia was right about the villagers, to say nothing about the paladins. I don’t use money, nor would most treat a cat given the choice. Did you want me to drag you out into the wilderness and run into a wildling looking for a chew toy, or worse?”
“All right, allright,” he said, raising his hands to placate the wisp mother, “I don’t begrudge you anything. It sounds like you made the right choice.”
There was a silence, in which Efrain clearly perceived that Innialysia was apprehensive.
“Efrain he… and I want you to understand, even with all the things I said earlier, I was still going to refuse him. I didn’t and don’t trust him still but he told me that… that the River had told him that he needed us.”
The revelation was one that ran along his spine, and threw the captain into an entirely different light. Using the River’s words as a bargaining chip, or even just reassurance spoke to a knowledge of the magical world that far surpassed most in his lands. He must’ve known that Innie was loath to speak to the ignorant, and tempered his speech accordingly.
“Well, we’re at his mercy, for better or worse,” Efrain said, “where on the trail are we and how long have I been out?”
“Three nights, so roughly four days of travel,” she said, cocking her head, “I think that puts us two or three days from the city proper. I’m not sure, I’ve rarely come down this way.”
Efrain tried to recall the geography of the region, without much success. After a few minutes though, the aimless maps he drew in his head began to resolve with some clarity. They would be reaching the edge of the forests in a day or two, and entering the outlying highlands of the coast. From there, they’d rapidly come across the farmlands owned by the city that flanked its outskirts. The pain was beginning to subside now that he had started to move his limbs cautiously. To his joy, he could find no fault in them or their function, as far as he could tell.
“Well then,” he said “I guess I should meet with the commander and get a read on what he wants. Do you know where Tykhon is?”
“I think I saw it wandering behind the train, a far distance. It doesn’t want to get too close.”
The wagons had begun to slow, the light outside taking on a reddish hue as the sun began to dip. Obviously they were breaking for camp, which suited Efrain just fine. When they’d come to a full stop and Efrain drew himself up to go outside, he was taken aback by the sudden appearance of a face through the flap.
“Oh!” Aya said, in a half-squeak, “You’re awake!”
“I forgot to mention,” said Innie, “she’s been coming around every now and then.”
“Right, then, yes,” Efrain said, straightening, “how can I help you?”
“Well, I was just coming to chat with the madam,” she said.
“Madam?” Efrain said, looking at the cat who was conspicuously staring elsewhere.
“I didn’t realise that you were awake, I- I’ll just go and come back later. You probably have a lot on your mind,” said Aya, withdrawing through the break in the fabric.
“Well, that was a way to wake up,” said Efrain, listening to her footfalls fading into the distance, “right so… commander! Yes. Just need to get my bearings.”
Outside was slightly foggy, although Efrain gave much praise to gods he didn’t believe in that it wasn’t the unnatural, fear-laced apparition that had plagued them. The trees were less large and intimidating than the ancient northern conifers, the bowes of them dense and green. The breeze that wafted through them was noticeably warmer as well, though it still carried a northern chill.
“Right then,” Efrain said as he clambered down past the hitchings to the ground.
It didn’t take long to find a spirited young man, riding along behind them.
“Would you happen to know where your commander is?” Efrain said, erring on the side of politeness.
“Good evening lord Efrain,” he said, “the commander ordered you to be sent when you awoke. You’ll likely find him near the top of the line, or at the centre of camp, depending on how set up he is.”
He pointed up through the line of horses and various pages and servants. Most were beginning to set up tents and firepits, or leading the mounts to be tied off. Efrain thanked the man and set off in the direction he indicated, weaving between the various groups that were forming. It didn’t take long for him to find Naia’s small tent, the standard bearer in front alerting the commander within.
Naia sat before a small table, furiously scribbling at a scrap of parchment. At his left was Damafelce, still in her riding gear, though she was currently attacking a bowl of something creamy with vigour. Efrain stood in silence for a few moments, watching as the knight pointed out something to the commander and murmured a correction. Both of them looked up as he cleared his throat, and Naia issued one of his sly smiles.
“My, lord Efrain, a delightful surprise,” he said, “in truth, I was beginning to worry we’d lost you for good. It would be an ill thing to carry a rotting body around all the way down to Karkos. Damafelce, you are excused, although I would like you to have that talk with Lethsoco. He’s been getting too eager recently.”
She nodded, and draining the last of her bowl, departed from the room. Efrain was offered a small stool, which he gratefully sank into before the commander.
“I’m sorry if jumping into business immediately might not be to your tastes,” said Naia with a genuine note of regret in his voice, “but there’s some conflicting reports I simply must sort out.”
Efrain laid his elbows on the table and laced his fingers, waiting for the commander to begin.
“Some are from my own soldiers, some are from the paladins, some are from others. I personally have my own beliefs, but I think it’s better to hear it from the horse’s mouth, as it were. Would you mind telling me what happened after I rode away from the village?”
Efrain took a moment to gather himself, and piece together what spare memories he could, before beginning to relay the general account of what had happened. Over the course of the next half-hour, Naia interrupted him constantly, asking clarifying questions, or for more detail on this incident and that.
“Lillian told me that you attempted to burn down the church,” he said, “is that true?”
Efrain caught a distinct impression that the captain already suspected the truth, yet was encouraging him to proffer a lie.
“Well, I can understand why she might believe that,” he began diplomatically, “but no, that wasn’t my intent. The magic I was using was difficult to control, and I had to improvise quite a bit. Desperate times, desperate measures.”
“So the damage to the church was merely incidental,” Naia said, his eyes settling, “would that you could convince the paladins otherwise. They seem quite intent that you were trying to kill all of them.”
“I’m not holding out hope to curry favour with those two.”
“Implying that you might wish to do so elsewhere,” Naia said, the glimmer returning, “although I’ve had my fair share of headaches with those two, they’re more reasonable compared to others. They’re still young, they’ll probably settle with time and the right guidance.”
“They’ll have to learn not to be afraid of things they can’t control, if the children are any metric,” Efrain said, not interested in mincing words.
At that, Naia leaned forward, regarding Efrain with such intensity that the older man felt uncomfortable.
“‘Something they can’t control’...” he said, repeating the words with purpose, “but I do imagine you have some things to ask me, don’t you?”
“Several things,” Efrain said, “but I’ll stick with one for now. Why did you save me? Do you need me for something?”
Naia’s silence was full of purpose, cast in the shadows that flickering candles cast on his face. Without a word, he got up, and left through the front of the tent, exchanging words with the standard bearer outside. Efrain heard footsteps receding as Naia reappeared, sat down, and leaned in to lower his voice.
“I would say I believe I owe you a debt, or at least, that’s what I would say if you were stupid enough to believe that,” he said, “given I’ve already used that justification, I wouldn’t blame you if you were suspicious.”
Efrain leaned in himself, wondering where this apparent candidness had come from.
“If you really want to know, then the truth is simple,” he said, “I was taught from my earliest days that only a fool dismisses talent based on superstition. You might notice that many of my own ranks would be dismissed, if not outright laughed at by others. Damafelce, a knight, and what’s more a right-hand? A woman from the barbarous jungle of Nieth?”
He began to tap his quill on the desk.
“Tools, lord Efrain. I want, and have great need of them. I am not the paladins - my words on this parchment could command a garrison to be built, or a man to be cut down in his home. Creation, destruction, good, evil, all dependent on the whims of the wielder. Magic is the same.”
“And which variety would you prefer me to be?” Efrain asked.
“Both, as the need may take it. I did not get this far without being flexible, and neither will you,” said Naia, “and while we’re on the subject, let me offer you something.”
Efrain would’ve held his breath, but settled for stiffening to attention.
“I want you to come with me, to Karkos and beyond. I want you to serve under me, with all the obligations, and privileges, that implies.”
Efrain was struck genuinely speechless. He had, somewhere in the back of his mind, idly conjured the vision of such an offer, but it was a silly fantasy, not something to be believed, let alone desired.
“I understand if you are hesitant,” Naia said, spreading his hands, “but fate has dropped one opportunity into my lap, and I’m inclined to see if I can secure another. Call me greedy if you wish, but I was also taught to not let such things slip by.”
“I don’t- why would you-” Efrain began, trying to form a sentence to describe the whirlwind of shock within him.
“Consider this, Efrain - a young, up-and-coming commander with a good record. Rather unorthodox in his choices of subordinates, enough for some to whisper in the dark, enough even perhaps, to close off some opportunities for promotion.”
A smile flickered at the edge of his lips - he was clearly enjoying this pantomime.
“Now consider, that the man returns, safely bearing a paragon of the church, who’s been sought for over sixty years, through trial and tumult. His warriors and he are lauded for their ability and leadership, despite their odd origins. What could be in store for such a person? Respect, certainly, but what about promotion?”
“So, you want to be a general,” said Efrain.
Naia smiled and bowed his head, humbly presenting himself.
“And you need me because… why? Please don’t think I believe this whole screed on ‘talent’. You’re doing that to appeal to my own sensibilities about the church.”
Naia laughed openly at that, though it wasn’t the most pleasant sound.
“I see you’ll need more cajoling than that. There are other reasons a mage would be valuable to me, this is true. But I wasn’t lying about talent being valuable to me. All I ask is that you think about this offer, and if you’ll accept it, I’ll tell you the rest.”
Efrain sat in silence for a while, wondering at the strange offer. Listening to the wind whistling through the trees, his hand unconsciously crept up to scratch at his forehead. Naia was looking at him expectantly, perhaps hoping he’d jump into it impulsively to reveal the mystery, but Efrain was intent on gauging the motives of this man.
“You do know,” Efrain began, “that inferno up on the roof. It would be difficult, probably impossible to do it again. And, if I tried, there’s no guarantee it wouldn’t cause significant damage to your own side.”
“I guessed as much, and no, I wouldn’t expect a display like that,” Naia said with a wry smile, “you wouldn’t be of much use to me dead, Efrain.”
So he wants me alive to do something, something with magic? Or something else? Efrain thought. He began to think about what else had changed throughout the last few days, and tried to recall what exactly Naia would know from his reports.
Certainly he would probably have at least a neutral appraisal from his soldiers, but that couldn’t be it. And mages could be found to do all sorts of magical tasks, even in Angorrah, if one was willing to seek them out. So was it for some unique power or ability then? He had shown him the River, but that was also an accident. And he didn’t expect him to use the flames of the Wisp Matriarch, or so he said.
What did Efrain offer to Naia, something that he only, or at least only a few others, could offer him? What had changed the offer of cooperation from simple guidance to something more long-term and involved? Efrain furiously reflected over the last few days, and suddenly he had it.
And with that, a whole web opened up before him, glistening with many unknown strands.
“Commander, before I say anything, I would like to ask just three questions. Quick ones, I would think.”
“You are a commander, aren’t you? I was given to understand that they managed much larger forces than this company. Over whole regions, in fact. That would normally be your duties, no?
The man nodded.
“Usually up to a thousand, though circumstances demand otherwise on occasion. Still, this is the smallest force I’ve wielded for a while now. My trusted and favoured.”
“And tell me, the children, they’re usually guarded by a retinue of paladins, I would assume, back in the holy city?”
“Indeed. Dozens of them.”
Naia’s eyes were glittering.
“And you were heading to do what all that way up north?”
Efrain of course knew the answer to this question, but he needed the cover if he could get it.
“Subjugating a castle, filled with undead, or so the tales go,” he said, “they made quite a big deal of it, back in the castle.”
Efrain sat, slotting pieces into place as he studied the man’s face.
“There’s indeed something you’re not telling me, commander.”
“Oh?” Naia said.
It was a game to him, Efrain was sure of it. A game of guesses and knives in the dark.
“So,” he began, “the church talks up a mission to the far north, all the way across the continent. Some terrible beast, holed up in some old castle. Well, of course, they couldn’t finance a full contingent. Only a hundred measly men. No one wants to take the deal, I assume, so they offer something to sweeten the pot, a crusade, with the two most sacred figures of the church at the head.”
Naia offered the slightest nod and opened his mouth to speak.
“Only, that’s not the real reason,” Efrain quickly interjected, deciding to take his chances, “I was there at the Frozen Vale, laying to rest the evil spirit you claim. And there were undead, weak, of poor craft, but numerous. Enough to man the battlements effectively if the spirit so chose.”
The momentum of the lie carried him onwards to his conclusion.
“So, tell me, why did you have few men, no siege equipment, and little stores? And why were the two most important people in the faith there with two bodyguards between them?”
The darkness of Naia’s eyes reflected the candle, twin flickers of flame and serpentine consideration.
[←Chapter 52] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 54→]
submitted by The_Alloquist to redditserials [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:41 Nuker1o1 Anyone know if downloading a mod overhaul will brick an already modded skyrim?

I'm considering downloading Enderal for skyrim SE, thing is I already have it modded from my pc and porting over the files to my deck. If I did add Enderal would it act as a pop-up when I click launch? Sorta like "launch in safe mode" or "launch normal mode"?
submitted by Nuker1o1 to SteamDeck [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:36 Applianceparts_zone Bertazzoni Parts_ Appliance

Bertazzoni is an Italian family-owned company that has been creating high-quality kitchen equipment for over 100 years. The company was founded in 1882. Bertazzoni produces a wide range of kitchen appliances, including ranges, cooktops, wall ovens, range hoods, and refrigerators. The company is known for its innovative designs and attention to detail, and its appliances are popular with both professional chefs and home cooks. Bertazzoni products are sold in over 50 countries around the world.
Bertazzoni is known for producing high-quality kitchen appliances that are built to last. The company uses only the finest materials and components in its products, and its appliances are subjected to rigorous testing to ensure that they meet the highest standards of performance and durability.
Like any other appliances, Bertazzoni appliances may need replacement parts at some point. The need for replacement parts can be because of a variety of reasons, including normal wear and tear, accidental damage, or defects. If you own a Bertazzoni appliance and you need Bertazzoni parts.
When you purchase Bertazzoni replacement parts for your appliance, make sure that they are coming from an authorized retailer or supplier. The reason for this is that many counterfeit products on the market may not be safe and reliable. To ensure the best performance and compatibility, it is advised to utilize genuine manufacturer components.
submitted by Applianceparts_zone to applianceparts_zone [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:24 catforsalem Seeking contractor recommendation: Metalworker wanted to mod legs of stainless steel table

Seeking contractor recommendation: Metalworker wanted to mod legs of stainless steel table
Hi neighbors,
I am in need of a metalworker to cut the legs and cross-bar of this custom stainless steel table. I’m looking to achieve the following:
  1. Break the table down for easy transport
  2. Lower the height of the table as an option: bar height (which it is now) and normal dining table height.
Any leads would be appreciated. Thanks!
submitted by catforsalem to SalemMA [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:22 EstablishmentIll8794 Dad told to stop driving but we believe he's safe

My dad was recently diagnosed with early dementia. He isn't on medication yet. His memory for words tested as being quite bad and he struggles with tasks that involve following instructions, like preparing a ready meal. He gets confused by things like how to use the coin release in a supermarket trolley, or which key to use. But he is otherwise independent and sociable, conversation with him feels almost normal, and importantly his driving is absolutely fine. We'd take his car keys if it wasn't, before waiting to be told. As part of the diagnosis he has been told to stop driving immediately. We were informed of this now during a quick assessment of his needs to stay at home (none at this point). We have explained to his consultant by phone that he is very capable of driving safely and we're watching him carefully but no go until a full assessment is done. I'm lost as to what we do. So far every step of the process has taken multiples of what he has been told (was told 4 weeks for scan results, waited 5 months etc) and if he waits months for a driving assessment the stress of not being able to get to his golf, pop to the shops, visit friends and loss of independence is going to cause a rapid deterioration - I've seen this happen a couple of times already with some major events that have unfortunately occurred while waiting for the formal diagnosis. Is there anything we can do to help him retain his ability to drive for now? These could be his final months/year or so where he can do it and it feels horribly cruel to take that away prematurely. We're in Scotland.
submitted by EstablishmentIll8794 to dementia [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:19 TitleFlimsy Safe storage options in a car trunk between home and range?

Trying to figure out what is the safest way to hide my shotgun when I’m stopping between the range and my house. I normally never stop but it’s getting to be a hassle to drive out of my way home to put my gun away before I go other places (grab lunch, grocery shop…) I have a fear of my car getting broken into and the gun being taken so I’m trying to think of it’s feasible or worthwhile to install a fake trunk floor with a hidden gun safe. Or if anyone has done something similar? My hatchback has the little shade screen to hide things from view. But would like to know what others have done or if there are easier options out there.
submitted by TitleFlimsy to liberalgunowners [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:15 stangAce20 HEADS UP! The R&R Marathon is this weekend, plan accordingly if you have to go anywhere near it!

HEADS UP! The R&R Marathon is this weekend, plan accordingly if you have to go anywhere near it! submitted by stangAce20 to sandiego [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:13 Cwall41289 Laguna Beach - Season 2 - Random stuff from the Bonus Discs

A collection of random tidbits from the season 2 bonus disc. As previously noted, this is a copy and paste from something I wrote in a Facebook Group. Apologies for typos, spelling and grammar.
I never saw (or don’t remember) what the promo looked like for S3, but what they show looks different than what actually aired. You see a bit more of Chase and Tessa, where he actually seems into her in more than a friend way lol. Also, more scenes (other than San Diego) of Cameron and Tessa, which i feel gives more context as to why he would have went there with them. Our girl Jessica is highly featured, and there are scenes that also never made it into the season. They were really trying to push Cameron hard on us lol. They also show Candice (Kyndra and Camis friend) a lot so maybe she was suppose to have more of a role?
The Hills season 1 preview - appears just like the season did and nothing earth shattering.
Casting tapes (unknown when this was filmed)
Only Jessica, Alex H, Alex M, Taylor and Jason
Only Jessica, Taylor and Jason’s are note worthy lol.
the only interesting thing Taylor says is that her and Talan have kissed, and that they fight like a couple, so people think they have something going on. But neither want a relationship. tracks with what I feel they both have said (or I made this up) that them liking each other was played up a lot for the cameras
JessicaSays how her and Jason are besties, but she likes him and can’t tell if he likes her. His friends Credic, Tyler (yes that Tyler), and Kyndra (yes that Kyndra) told her Jason likes her. Cedric told her that Jason likes her but Jason’s worried about what other people will think and Jessica feels he’s embarrassed that he likes her and doesn’t know why as all his friends (names Tyler again lol) like her and she’s better friends with his acquaintances. Thought that was interesting.
JasonSays he likes Jessica but doesn’t want a relationship. says when Jessica is around everything is all good and she acts like they are just friends but then he hears otherwise.
Cast photos
Tons of photos with Jeff B (Jessicas crush). I feel like he was suppose to be more in season 2 outside of just Jessica’s crush. He’s in more of the promo for season 2 as well. Not sure what happened there.
In Jason’s photos he has photos of him and Alex M but none of him and Jessica lol. In Jessica’s photos she has photos of her and Jason. Lauren has no photos of Jason, but some of Stephen. Stephen has both Kristin and Lauren.
Kristins photos - lots of her and Alex M. Even photos with Taylor lol. in one of them Taylor has a “Jesus is my homeboy” shirt, which I feel was so popular back then. Kristin, like myself, experimented with hair color back then. Has photos of herself with dark brown hair and reddish/blonde hair, which I feel was also a trend back then, as I also rocked that same look for a short while. Not a ton with Jessica (compared to either of the Alex’s), which goes back to a theory I have that they became friends because they both dated best friends and then were the main characters of season 2. No photos of Sam, which at first I thought was because he wouldn’t agree to film. But everyone has photos with random people who weren’t on the show…so idk why? Maybe they weren’t really close until senior year? Mystery.
Alex M and Taylor both have photos with Cami - MTV dropped the ball by not making her the narrative of S3.
Cast home videos
Kristin, Jessica, Stephen and LaurenAll videos of when they were babies or really young kids. Sort of awkward? Lol. In one video Kristin is beating up her brother with him over and over telling her to stop and then it cuts to Jessica as a baby lol. Also, in both the cast videos and cast photos - tons of photos and videos with Kristins dad and zero of her mom. Makes me sad that she says she doesn’t have a good relationship with him now. Also, Jessica’s dad is a DILF and also sad that she mentioned on BTTB that he wasn’t around much growing up. Hopefully they have a better relationship now.
You can tell Kristin and Jessica grew up more middle class than Stephen and Lauren. Jessica and Kristins houses reminded me of my parents and their outfits and hair styles reminded me of what I looked like.
Happy to share more from both season 1 and 2 if this is still of interest!
submitted by Cwall41289 to TheHillsMTV [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:10 r3dsca Obscure subreddit posting - The Branding Issue of Democrats from the 90s to Now

This was posted in the AngryObservation subreddit (that I stumbled on two seconds ago)
Essay posted by u/dcmetro7
Democrats have a branding problem : AngryObservation (

Democrats have a branding problem

😴 Long Observation 😴
I was inspired by u/Randomuser1520 's post about the Democratic Party's seemingly weak bench of future potential presidential nominees.
A lot of the problems trace back to 2016, but I'd argue the Democrats' branding woes go back even further. Think all the way back to the last time the Democrats had a consistently strong electoral record as a party -- the 90s, where the only truly bad year for Ds was 1994. Bill Clinton had successfully rebranded the party under the 'Third Way' label that Dems at any level could embrace and benefit from, and he had a clear successor in Al Gore. But Gore loses narrowly in 2000, and the problems for the Dems' brand begin.
'Yes We Can'
After 9/11, the electorate supports Bush and they support war. Dems' brand takes a hit and they lose the 2002 midterms. In 2004, John Kerry is successfully painted as an out-of-touch Ivy League liberal, disengaged from 'real America.' Dems lose and their brand suffers further.
But by the end of Bush's term, most Americans are disillusioned with Dubyaism. They wanted change, and one man promises to lead them to it with posters that proclaim 'HOPE' and cries of 'Yes We Can,' heralding in a new age of politics. Barack Obama and the Democrats are swept into a trifecta in Washington.
And we certainly got a new age of politics. When Obama was inaugurated, pundits speculated about the 'emerging Democratic majority', and how the GOP may literally go extinct in ten years. By the end of Obama's second term, those same pundits are surveying the absolutely decimated state of the Democratic party at all levels of power. Dems had lost the Senate, the House, most governorships, and most state legislatures. Control of the state legislatures makes the GOP's hold on the House even stronger. Control of the Senate effectively leads to control of the Supreme Court.
While Obama certainly can't be blamed for everything the GOP threw at him, I feel like it's safe to say his rebranding of the Democratic party failed in the long run. The 'Party of Hope' was sunk into the quagmire of a slow economic recovery, some of the most cynical politicking ever, and some of the most dysfunctional White House-Congress relationships in the history of the country. Obama's signature healthcare legislation would languish in the 30s approval-wise until after he left office. By 2015, no one was talking about the Democrats as the Party of Hope anymore. Even the guy who designed the original 'Hope' poster said he was frustrated by the lack of progress under the Obama admin. I'd argue that the Republicans were responsible for the clear majority of this dysfunction, but if their goal was to muddy the waters between the parties, they succeeded. And with the Tea Party, they were better at rebranding themselves even when they were in the opposition.
And none of this was helped by the face that Obama seemed extremely reluctant, even uninterested, in stepping into the role of party leader. Congressional Democrats were frustrated at the way he kept his distance from them, making it hard to solidify the policy goals they'd implemented in his first term. This article ( sums it up well, with this prescient quote sticking out:
In interviews, nearly two dozen Democratic lawmakers and senior congressional aides suggested that Mr. Obama’s approach has left him with few loyalists to effectively manage the issues erupting abroad and at home and could imperil his efforts to leave a legacy in his final stretch in office.
And sure enough, Obama's legacy was in peril before he even left office.
'Stronger Together'
In 2016, Democrats didn't plan for a primary, they planned for a coronation. Hillary Clinton had been locking up all the support she could get from the Democratic establishment while Obama was serving his second term. Biden would seem like the clear establishment successor, but by the time he was able to turn his attention from VP duties to the primary he realized Hillary had completely boxed him out. She had already corralled all the big donors, operatives, and endorsements into her corner, and Joe was checkmated before he even sat down to the board. Thus, he turned down the opportunity, likely burying his long-nurtured presidential ambitions.
But then the coronation gets bumpy. Sanders challenges her from the outside, and immediately begins putting her on the spot as to why she's running. In other words, what does she envision for the Democratic brand? Hillary herself doesn't know. Is it a third term of Bill (whose star was starting to fade among everyone whose name doesn't rhyme with Shames Scarville), a third term of Obama (whose Hope posters have since become landfill), or an all-new thing?
To Hillary's credit, she couldn't portray herself as a total break from the past, both because she had been was strongly anchored to the national political landscape for the last thirty years, and because she could hardly attack Obama's record too harshly. In the end, she also struggled to brand both herself and the party. Consider the slogans most associated with her campaign; 'Forward Together' and 'Stronger Together' sound like the slogans of a centrist third party with no concrete policy ideas. They just attempted to project a feeling of unity onto a people who were united only, if the candidacies of Sanders and Trump meant anything, in the feeling that 'establishment' politicians like HRC had failed. And, of course, 'I'm with Her' was barely a rebrand at all, simply associating the party with its uncharismatic yet seemingly unstoppable frontrunner.
In the meantime, Trump had done the opposite, rebranding himself and the GOP as the party of 'America First populism.' What that meant exactly in terms of policy seemed to change from day to day But as a brand, as a forceful statement of intent, it worked, especially when contrasted with a seemingly rudderless HRC campaign that failed to answer the age-old question: 'Why are you running for president?'
'For the People'
After the 2016 fiasco, the Democrats were decimated and leaderless. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid had passed his leadership position to Chuck Schumer and passed on soon after Trump took office. Tim Ryan led a mutiny against Nancy Pelosi, blaming her in part for the party's plunge from ascendance to irrelevance in the House. Hillary Clinton disappeared into the woods of Chappaqua. Obama started making a docu-series for Netflix. Joe Biden entered semi-retirement and wrote a book.
But in all of this, they found something they had been lacking. A brand.
Not the one they would have preferred, but one that would work nonetheless for winning elections. House Dems would embrace the (once-again) vague slogan of 'For the People' ahead of the 2018 midterms, but the aim was clear. The Democrats were now the Opposition; the Anti-Trump party.
Trump's approval rating was not just low, but incredibly sticky. People tended to have very firm opinions on him, and so his approval rating barely escaped the 35-45% range, with him almost hitting 50% before the pandemic hit. Thus, running on opposition to Trump would be fine electorally. In 2018, the Democrats had a blue wave year based mostly on opposition to Trump, retaking the house. Ironically, a big policy motivator for voters was backlash against the GOP's effort to repeal and replace Obamacare -- a promise that had driven Republican electoral gains since the bill was passed into law. Republican branding and messaging had been so successful that, for the better part of the decade, people trusted them to 'fix' the ACA until the very last minute before the replacement was signed.
'Battle for the Soul of the Nation'
But the problem remained for 2020 -- who would lead them? This was a difficult decision even before the pandemic. And Democratic primary voters were treated to a veritable buffet on angles on how to rebrand the party to beat Trump.
Should the party embrace democratic socialism under Sanders, or heavy consumer advocacy under Warren? Should it embrace a young, charismatic up-and-comer like Harris, Buttigieg, or O'Rourke or someone just as 'establishment' as Hillary, like Michael Bloomberg? Old-school liberalism with the Klob? Whatever Andrew Yang was doing?
But as the polls drew near, the Democrats seemed to conclude that beating Trump was simply more important than charting a new course for the party. If they could get elected or rebrand, they'd choose the former. And so all the other more moderate candidates dropped out to consolidate the vote around Biden, as the safe, expected pick who could stay the course. Biden and his surrogates began adopting the slogan 'Battle for the Soul of the Nation,' an epic and apocalyptic phrase that is still fundamentally reactive in tone, implying that the biggest motivator to vote for Democrats that fall was not to pass any specific agenda, but to put a stop to the GOP's plans.
Biden wouldn't govern in this way, but he would campaign this way -- as the normal, capable candidate who could lead the country's post-covid recovery in opposition to Trump's perceived incompetence. Biden won, but Democrats didn't get nearly the boost they wanted from covid, and House candidates underperformed Biden nationally, leading to a surprising loss of seats in the House. And after the effort to throw out the election failed, Trump left office with severely damaged standing with independents. The anti-Trump brand had delivered Dems a trifecta; now it was time to use it; hopefully to establish a new brand for a new decade.
'Building Back Better'
Upon taking office, Biden and the Dems lay out their agenda; the 'Build Back Better' plan, which centers on a three-pronged approach; a pandemic relief bill, an infrastructure bill, and a social policy bill. Passing such plans will involve all 50 Senate D's on board in some cases, and a bipartisan filibuster-proof majority of 60 senators in other cases.
People laugh, think back to 2010, and begin arguing whether a prediction that the GOP will control 55 Senate seats by 2023 is too conservative. Nancy Pelosi is trying to manage a mere five-seat majority in the house. Mitch McConnell, who once feasted on the Democrats' lost hopes the way a hungry turtle devours a plate of juicy strawberries, still held enough sway in the Senate to hold up any significant policy not related to budget reconciliation. Even then, Schumer must wrangle mavericks like Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema. Dramatic divisions still rip across the fabric of American society. But then, something truly strange happens.
The 117th Congress ends up being one of the most productive sessions ever.
Whether or not you think any or all of the 117th's acts were good policy, it's undeniable that this was an unusually politically efficient session, especially considering the last decade of hardball politics. Bipartisan majorities drive the infrastructure act, a gun control act, a tech-manufacturing promotion act, and even a somewhat-legalization of same-sex marriage nationwide. Plus, Schumer and Pelosi navigate their tiny majorities toward passing partisan priorities, like the pandemic relief act and the scaled-down Build Back Better social policy bill, rebranded as the Inflation Reduction Act or IRA. McConnell drops his trademark stonewalling and collaborates with Biden on the bipartisan bills, and 'Yea' votes roll in even from deep red states -- Republican senators from Mississippi, West Virginia, and North Dakota get these bills over the line. Bipartisanship returns to Congress in fleeting glances -- something that I feel confident in arguing absolutely no one expected Biden or the Dem leaders to be able to do.
Of course, no one has forgotten 2010, and 2022 looks to be another rough year. Inflation soars, and Biden's approval rating drops. Dems brace for impact. The Dobbs ruling happens, but polls repeatedly suggest that the economy is the top issue on voters' minds, and they don't like Biden's handling of it.
But while these things are true, they ignore a crucial factor -- the GOP is embroiled in an identity crisis of its own. The leader of the party is claiming to be the legitimate president of the United States, which is a bit of a hard issue to ignore. Trump loyalists beat out 'establishment' Republicans in the primaries, and bring their hard promotion of the MAGA brand to the general elections. And they lose.
I think it's fair to say that the GOP lost most of the key races of the 2022 midterms, rather than Democrats winning them. Swing state Republican parties chose candidates who adhered so closely to a brand so toxic that independents still chose the Democrats, even in some cases where they were dissatisfied with the party. Republicans who have managed to establish a brand for themselves -- DeSantis, Kemp, and DeWine among them -- soar, while the Trumpiest candidates fall flat. McConnell remains in the minority, and McCarthy becomes the head of a very, very dysfunctional family.
Will Brandon's Rebrand Stand?
So, coming off an unusually strong midterm, where does the party go in 2024? Probably, as u/Randomuser1520 said, back to Biden. When your party wins one of the most fiercely contested elections in American history, has a productive legislative session, and then massively overperforms in the midterm, you don't usually change horses regardless of what approval polling says. If Biden were just 10 years younger and the health concerns were off the table, there would be no question in anyone's mind who to nominate.
The establishment and progressive wings of the party seem to be behind him if he runs, meaning challenges will only come from real outsiders like Marianne Williamson and Robert Kennedy Jr. The DNC will probably work to make those challenges as unviable as possible.
2024 is tricky to predict. Trump is favored on the Republican side, and as said before, his brand is so toxic that Biden can probably glide to reelection barring any massive economic downturns or serious health problems. I won't get too much into 2024, because it seems pretty clearly on the path to becoming another referendum on the GOP's brand, not the Democrats'. Biden's second term (and the rest of his first term) may be defined as much by implementation of the legislation they passed during the 117th as much as by new legislation, if not more.
So the question becomes this -- where does the party go in 2028? Or, in other words, what will Democrats take away from the Biden presidency, and how will Biden shape the party's brand going forward? Who they choose to lead the party next will tell, and Biden's presidency may already be laying out a blueprint.
In his 1996 State of the Union address, Bill Clinton declared 'the era of big government is over,' essentially conceding that Reagan and his vision of a small role for the federal government in domestic affairs had won out for the time, and that Democrats would need to work within that political reality in order to win elections. Obama's efforts to change that status quo resulted in an avalanche of backlash from Tea Partiers, self-proclaimed champions of fiscal conservatism. Hillary Clinton's failed campaign strategy arguably rested more on that understanding of the political climate than anything else, causing her to miss a series of growing frustrations with Reaganism at times channelled by Sanders and, at times, Trump -- at decimation of the manufacturing sector, at the growing gap between rich and poor, at China's seemingly unstoppable three-decade rise at the expense of the U.S.
Biden's approach to American industry and government is a strong repudiation of Reaganism, based around the idea that it is the government's job to fortify and guide the economy in ways that are necessary where the free market has little incentive to. It argues that the issues of infrastructural decay, manufacturing decline, and the growing need for green energy in the face of climate change will only be solved if the government directs the power of the private sector towards those goals at great upfront cost. And free trade, long held as the unassailable source of America's prosperity, must now only be employed in moderation -- if the U.S. has to arguably break international law to lure foreign investment into the U.S. through generous subsidies, it will be worth it, even if it earns the fury of our economic partners. This may be the groundwork of Bidenism.
These plans may fail. The money may be wasted by incompetent or corrupt administrators and the American people may become even more jaded at the thought of big government. But movement within the GOP may suggest a broader shift in the American mind towards this kind of economic interventionism is already in progress. Promising to reverse the decline of manufacturing through tariffs and other measures would have been political anathema twenty years ago, but it has become a core Republican plank. Florida Republicans' punitive measures towards Disney and the GOP's growing support for government action against Big Tech companies suggests openness towards not just using state power to guide the economy, but also to reshape the social landscape by manipulating the private sector. It may well be that the era of small government is over.
I've sorted some potential 'brands' and some of the people who might be nominated in 2028 / become party standard-bearers should the Democrats go in that direction. These lists aren't exhaustive; I'm just trying to establish a general vibe.
The 'Biden Blueprint': Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, Gina Raimondo
These are members of the Biden admin who have been given great power (and great piles of money) to enact the legislation of the 117th. If American sentiment towards big government changes as quickly as I think it could, a Cabinet secretary could have a decent shot in 2028. Harris would be the natural successor as the VP, but Transportation Sec Buttigieg and Commerce Sec Raimondo, who were empowered to implement much of the Infrastructure Act and the CHIPS Act respectively, could become standard-bearers for this new vision of technocratic governance if they administer these programs well (and in a way that makes headlines). If Energy Sec Granholm were a natural-born citizen, she would definitely fit here as well, considering how much power the IRA gave her department.
The 'New New Deal': Amy Klobuchar, Catherine Cortez Masto, Mark Kelly, Tammy Duckworth, Raphael Warnock
Liberal senators who are capable of working across the aisle to achieve compromise could be a strong bet if Democrats want to recreate the success of the 117th Congress in the future. There's always an argument that effective legislators won't necessarily make for effective executives, but these choices would help with Democrats' goal of rebranding the Democratic party as the party you vote for if you want Washington to function properly and anticipate constituents' needs. Such a ticket could brand itself as the path to bipartisan yet assertive solutions on familiar and emerging issues like immigration reform, federal protection for abortion, the housing shortage, and the drug crisis.
The 'Bulwark': Roy Cooper, Laura Kelly, Andy Beshear
I'll admit that when I began writing this post, I had a more favorable opinion of the above three governors and politicians like them as presidential nominees and the potential 'future of the party.' I no longer feel as strongly about them, however, because I don't believe they do enough to change the brand of the Democrats and the political environment as a whole. These governors are best known for winning races in red states; for holding the line against the most conservative policies while finding areas of compromise, especially on kitchen-table issues.
But this brand of Democrat is fundamentally reactive, even defensive -- it assumes that most of the job will be obstructing right-wing legislation from a red legislature. In other words, it is a kind of strategy you use when you're trying to hold ground, not gain it. It works well when your opponent's brand is toxic (as the GOP's has been since 2016), but this I suspect this brand of 'competent normality' will struggle if the opposition ceases to actively repel voters. If Trump and his acolytes continue to hold a strong grip on the party through 2024 and beyond, this brand may not be a bad bet short-term, but long-term Democrats want to be the ones establishing the rules of the game, not just beating your opponent at theirs. That's what a successful political brand does. While Dems in similar situation should definitely look to these governors for guidance in running their campaigns (and hopefully, their administrations), I would caution at this point against basing the national party's brand on their model.
I think somewhere between these three groups lies a successful path forward for the Democrats that towards becoming the dominant party in U.S. politics at the federal level. There are some other interesting currents in the party; like how Democratic governors like Whitmer, Evers, and Walz have rebuilt D strength the Midwest after a rough 2010s, and how Western Dems like Jared Polis, Mary Peltola, and Marie Gluesenkamp Perez have found unexpected electoral stength by embracing a form of libertarianism. However, these currents may be regional, and Democrats shouldn't necessarily try to nationalize every idea that works in one part of the country. Creating different regional 'flavors' of Democrat would be necessary to keep the party relevant in all parts of the country.
Regarding the 2020 primary runners-up, I don't think most of the visions laid out then work post-2024, and for this reason I tend not to give too much weight to current Democratic primary polling, because it assumes these same people would be running again.
Assuming Biden ends his term without catastrophe, I don't think the party needs to place all their faith in a young, charismatic Obama wannabe like O'Rourke or Swalwell, nor does it need to drastically pivot to the center, nor does it need to proclaim itself the party of 'outsiders,' nor does it need to give the reins to the progressive wing. If everything goes right, they can remain ideologically where they are now (roughly) and establish a solid brand for the first time in a generation.
The Democrats been losing the branding war since the days of Nixon. They may currently have all the tools they need right now to change that, and set the expectations for the next fifty years of politics. Let's see how they do.
This is my first big write-up, so I almost certainly missed some stuff and made some assumptions. Let me know what you think.
submitted by r3dsca to redscarepod [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:10 Wapulatus Respect Beast I, Goetia (Fate/Grand Order)

"Then I shall show you. The end of your journey. The demise of human history that will redo this planet. The moment my great undertaking is completed!"


Shikisai ~The Time of Parting Hath Come~
This thread is a collaboration with InverseFlash and rsthethird, who helped with feat-gathering, as well as Proletlariet, who helped with formatting. Thanks!


Beast I. One of the Seven Evils of Humanity, possessing the principle of "Pity".
The King of Mages, Solomon, gathered 72 demons in his life that he fashioned into "a system to promote reason in humans"--a sort of magical logic network. After some time, the demons gained self-awareness and merged into a collective being.
This being, the amalgamation of the 72 Demons, became known as Goetia.
When Solomon died, the demons were sealed away inside his corpse. The awakened Goetia at first assumed Solomon's identity. Through his eyes, they witnessed the extent of human suffering that Solomon, for all the king's vast power, had failed to address. They became disillusioned with their host, and hatched a plan to remake the world without its imperfections by travelling back in time.

Source Guide

Hover over the feat to view the story chapter the feat is from.
Relevant Scaling:
Some terms:
Elements of Goetia's in-game profile and Fate/Grand Order material IV entry (translated by castor212) are freely quoted in this thread to help explain abilities that might not show up explicitly in the series very often.

King of Mages - "Solomon"

"Plead for help. Raise your mewling voice. For it is the time for you to drown in the sea of anguish! Behold this festival of flame that set ablaze the altar, rendered in its resplendence!"
The Time of Coronation Hath Come
Prior to revealing himself, Goetia posed as King Solomon while possessing his corpse..
Controlling Solomon granted Goetia a variety of abilities, namely the class container of "Grand", which allowed him to outclass any normal Servant by virtue of this.

Physical Feats/Power


It has been said that Solomon's clairvoyance can see through the past and the future.
Because Clairvoyance is a skill furnished on the flesh, Goetia can also use it.

Magecraft / Magic


Evil Eye


Beast I - Goetia

"Well, I will rid myself of the title "King of Mages.”
"There's no more need for deception. I had no name, but if you want to call me something, call me this:"
"I am the one who shall attain true wisdom, as was desired of me. I am the one who shall devour you to reach a new height, and create a new planet."
"I am the one who shall gather 72 curses, and set flame to all of history. I am the Ritual for the Incineration of Humanity."
"I am Goetia, the King of Demon Gods."
Shikisai ~The Time of Parting Hath Come~
The form Goetia takes after he abandons Solomon's corpse partway through the final battle.
His body is a central core surrounded by the 72 "Demon Pillars" that comprise him.


General Power and Information
Physical Feats
The Beast Class
The entire space of Solomon's temple gives Da Vinci the same Beast Class reading she saw from Tiamat.

Individual Demon Pillars

Damage Output
Demon Pillars attack in a number of ways:
These attacks are threatening to a variety of named servants:
Favorable Interactions

King of Humans - Goetia

"The Demon Gods have burned away. My temple is destroyed. My grand plan for the Incineration of Human Order dies with me. But, I will at least deny you this final victory. Let us begin... Master of Chaldea. I shall annihilate you, and all you've achieved, with my own hands."
Despite Ars Nova ending Solomon's spell that bound the 72 Demons together, Goetia manages to linger long enough for one last fight. However, in this weakened state he can be defeated by a punch from Ritsuka.

Noble Phantasms

Ars Almadel Salomonis: The Time of Birth has Come, He is the One who Masters All

"Then I shall show you. The end of your journey. The demise of human history that will redo this planet. The moment my great undertaking is completed! Third Noble Phantasm, deploy. The Time of Birth has Come, He is the One who Masters All. Now, burn up like trash!"
"Ars Almadel Salomonis!"
  • Rank: EX
  • Type: Anti-Unit/Anti-Human Order Noble Phantasm
  • Range: ?
  • Maximum target: ? person
Goetia's third Noble Phantasm. The "" of original sin. A belt of light that announces mankind’s demise.
Goetia is able to manipulate this belt of light in order to collect, accelerate and converge portions of it, travelling through the timestream or otherwise influencing it.
For his plan to work, Goetia needed to make cause and effect stop working, so he can set fire to multiple periods of time in history at the same time.
He enables this by destabilizing human history with Singularities. These are turning points in human history that he's sent Holy Grails (powerful magic artifacts) to change important historical events.
Reference of what Holy Grails can do
Incineration of Human History
Once human history is destabilized, Goetia 'sets fire' to every moment of it and lets it burn. The energy is then collected as "Spiritrons" (magical energy) and raw heat.
Of course, this has catastrophic affects on the timeline.
Bands of Light
Finally, this energy is then channeled into Goetia's temple, and refined into bands of light that he can control and release at will. Either as weapons, or as fuel to for his ultimate goal: time travel to the creation of the Earth.

Ars Paulina: The Time of Crowning has Come, He is the One who Begins All

  • Rank: A
  • Type: Anti-World Noble Phantasm
  • Range: 999
  • Maximum target: ? person
A Reality Marble that Goetia fabricated by amplifying the remains of King Solomon, forming a magical workshop in "void space" that exists outside the normal flow of time.
Reality Marbles are essentially self-contained dimensions that 'paint over the world' in a given area. Here's a better schematic explaining what they do.
Physical Structure and Location

Ars Nova

  • Rank: D
  • Type: Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm
  • Range: -
  • Maximum target: 1 person
Goetia: Light Band Convergence Ring
Solomon: The Time of Parting has Come, He is the One who Lets Go of the World

Individual Demon Pillars - Unique Abilities

While it's likely that Goetia possesses all these abilities as the composite of all Demon God Pillars, some of his components developed wills of their own and gained unique abilities before and after his destruction at the hands of Chaldea.



After separating from Goetia, Andras gained a self-awareness and will to live, and escaped from the Temple of Time near-death, but died afterwards. Even then, its 'vindictive desires' remained as a corpse that could maintain a being by fusing to a Heroic Spirit, summoning and doing so with Chacha and Hijikata to create a singularity-like space.



"Huh, who would have known? ...Tragically short, and yet, strangely fascinating... So, this is what human life is..."

submitted by Wapulatus to respectthreads [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:08 Balldeflated Seeking Advice for Family Trip with Toddler and Newborn - Car Seats & Travel Essentials

We're planning an extensive trip with our little ones and could use your advice. Here's our situation:
We have a 2-year-old toddler and a 2-month-old baby.
We're flying from home to Orlando, then onto San Francisco, and then Utah before returning home.
Our stays will be 10 days, 4 days, and another 10 days, respectively.
Our main concern is about managing the logistics of car seats.
Our initial plan:
Carrying our newborn's car seat with us.
Renting a car seat for our toddler at each destination.
We're looking for:
  1. Your experiences with a similar situation.
  2. Recommendations on reliable and safe car seat rental companies.
  3. Tips or considerations when choosing a rental car seat.
Additionally, we would greatly appreciate:
- Any travel tips and advice for flying with a toddler and a newborn.
- Must-pack items or travel hacks you've found to be lifesavers during your trips.
Please share your experiences and tips to help us prepare for this trip.
Thank you in advance!
submitted by Balldeflated to NewParents [link] [comments]

2023.06.02 17:05 Fabulous-Ad-8866 I (36M) think my fiancée (33F) is being unfaithful but I can't prove it and I don't want to lose her.

Strap in. It's a long one, and may be a bit NSFW. I'll start with the background, could be important. We've been together 17 years, and obviously there have been highs and lows.
We're both bisexual but I don't think that really has any bearing on the situation.
Up until about four or five years ago, I had a somewhat insatiable sex drive. To the point where it started to feel like I might have a condition or an addiction. Often it would feel to me like I was pestering her for sex. At the time she was working long shifts in nursing, I can understand that she would be tired and maybe not interested in sex. Eventually (like I said, four or five years ago) I managed to control my urges and started initiating sex a lot less. Things got good, we were intimate when we both felt like it, and the sex was good. She got a new job in IT, working from home when the covid thing happened. And her sex drive suddenly went through the roof. A complete 180, now it sometimes felt like she was pestering me. I struggled to keep up honestly and it showed. She told me it felt like I was just "going through the motions". I got a new job after the whole covid thing, now I was (still am) doing 12-14 hour shifts daily, coming home absolutely shattered. Add to this that I've put on a fair bit of weight, and the guys at work like to joke about that kind of thing, with not being able to satisfy my fiancée in the bedroom, it's safe to say I feel like I'm at my lowest point mentally. I have never felt this depressed.
Things came to a head in April this year, around the time of our anniversary. We booked a week away in a nice little cabin. There was a hot tub, it was secluded. She packed a few toys and nice lingerie she had bought especially for the occasion. But on the first day I struggled to bring her to climax, not a thing that happens a lot, but has happened more than I would like recently. We had a chat and I confessed that the stress of work and how I don't feel great about myself right now has kind of killed my sex drive. She said she understood but I could tell she was upset. Understandable. We enjoyed the holiday overall and we were intimate a few times, one of which was the best we'd had in a long while. Now, we had discussed a few times in the past the possibility of introducing another person in the bedroom. And even the possibility of seperate "playmates". While on the holiday, I suggested it again. She laughed and said she wouldn't want to, as she thought it might make things worse for me in my current mental state.
One reason we discussed seperate "playmates" is because there are fetishes that we don't share. To the point where she expressed interest in something in particular that turned me off so much I flat out said "go and find someone else to do that for you"
So. About a week after our holiday she came to me and said she had indeed found someone to indulge in her fetish with. Now I must preface that this fetish does not involve penetrative sex. We had a discussion and set some boundaries. Those boundaries being no penetrative or oral sex. Anything else is on the table, go and have fun. She told me who this other person was, and it's a male friend she has told me about before. They met on a discord server for people with "deviant" sexual tastes (I think. I'm not entirely sure of the actual purpose of the server, it started when another server (one that revolved around sharing NSFW/risqué pics of goblins, that I was also a member of) kind of went to shit). Now I need to make it clear that I'm not some kind of prude. I have my own deviant tastes, just some things aren't to my taste. This friend she had met up with once before. She told me it was for drinks and there were other people there. She also went on to tell me that he was a shy type that had no real friends and was lonely. She hung out with this guy one on one a few times afterwards and told me that she felt sorry for him because he was lonely and had no friends. When we discussed her meeting up with this guy to indulge in her fetish, she added that he was not her type and that she wasn't even sexually attracted to him.
On the day she was going to meet up, she left very early, a lot earlier than I had assumed she would. But it is like a 3 hour bus journey, so I thought nothing of it. The whole day I worried. We had agreed that she would share her location with me in case anything happened. But she shared it for an hour and then nothing the rest of the day. At about midnight, she messaged me saying she had missed her bus and could I come pick her up from the station in that town. Of course I agreed. When I picked her up I asked her how it was, and would she be doing it again. She said it was "alright" and might do it again. She also mentioned that she had tried to give the guy a "happy ending" but that he couldn't keep his erection. I don't know why she felt the need to tell me that but thought nothing of it at the time.
I will say that after that day, I don't know if it's jealousy or some kind of fetish I didn't know I had, but my sex drive has started to improve. This is important for later I think. About a week later she told me she would be going to hang out with him again, but just to hang out. The next morning I went to work, and found that I had gone in too early as they had put me on a later shift and I failed to check the rota board. So I went back home. Bearing in mind this was between 7 and 8am. When I got home my fiancée was nowhere to be seen. I admittedly panicked a little. Something snapped in me and I tried to call her. She didn't answer 3 times. Then she called me back about 15 minutes later saying she was on her way to her friend's place and that he had messaged her the night before and asked her to hang out, and that she could work from his house. I noticed that it sounded like she was indoors, not on a bus or train. It was like she was in a hall that echoed.
I went on with my day, but couldn't stop thinking about her and what she was doing. She was out until midnight again and I really started to worry then. I actually broke down crying. Shamefully, I also tried to access her computer to look at her discord conversations with her friend. I found that the pin she usually uses does not work on he pc and her discord password no longer works on our shared tablet. When she got home she apologised for not telling me. I told her her how it made me feel and that I had tried to get into her discord account and she said she hadn't changed her passwords then she apologised again and said if I wanted she would stop hanging out with him. Of course I said that wasn't necessary and I was just being silly, but she does need to tell me when she's going and how long she's going to be.
The latest thing, the one that has cemented my thoughts that she's not sticking to those boundaries we set happened last Friday. She said on the Tuesday that she was gonna meet her friend on Friday for "a meal and drinks" to celebrate her birthday which was on the Sunday. Now I assumed that a meal and drinks would mean an evening thing, right? On the Thursday night she showered and did her hair. Putting in a LOT of effort. She's quite meticulous with her appearance, but this just struck me as a lot. Then on the Friday morning, I left for work. She messaged me at 10:30 letting me know she was on her way. I asked why so early and she brushed it off saying its a 3 hour bus ride. So I thought okay, maybe she plans to come home earlier.
When I get home I find a few things out of place that concern me. The first is that in the shower, there is her douche. It's normally kept in the cupboard and she only ever uses it when she plans on doing some "butt stuff" (this also includes what she did with her friend, that I admit I've been considering trying in an attempt to remove him from the equation). The second thing was that the draw of my end table next to the bed was open. I normally keep condoms and lube and some toys in this draw. There is one particular lube we have exclusively for butt stuff. That bottle was not in the draw. I lost my cool. I got very angry and punched a wall. I may have damaged my hand. I left it and stewed in my own bile for a few hours. Then at about 10 I messaged her and asked about the douche and lube. After an uncharacteristic pause (with the "typing" bubble appearing and disappearing a few times) She brushed it off, has no idea where the lube is and douched because she was worried about a smell down there due to her period.
At half past midnight she still hadn't texted me to tell me she was on her way home. Cue another bout of anger and more tears. I messaged her asking if she was coming home. After another uncharacteristic pause, She said she was on her way and would be 40 minutes, but would get an uber from the station. Now I know for sure she would have missed her last bus and it takes about 40 minutes to drive from her friend's town, so I instantly thought she was lying. I waited outside to see if she had in fact got an uber. As far as I can tell she did. But maybe from her friends place instead of the station. We had another long discussion and she reiterated that she didn't know where the lube was and that she wasn't having any kind of sex with her friend. I told her I thought she made a lot of effort for just a meal and drinks and she just said I was being ridiculous and it's the normal amount of effort she would make. She offered to show me the contents of her bag so I could see she didn't have the lube with her. I gave up and said that wouldn't be necessary, my insecurities were just making me paranoid. I even told her exactly what I thought was going on. Basically accused her of cheating. The whole time she didn't get angry or even look upset in the slightest. I asked her about it and she just said she understands how it looks and she's not angry or upset.
We celebrated her birthday over the weekend, we didn't have sex, which is a little unusual, but considering what happened on Friday, I can understand. On Wednesday however I was tidying up before going to work, and I accidentally knocked her bag off of the sofa. The contents spilled out and as I was picking them up I found the missing bottle of lube. Now this was a new bottle when I last saw it, still had the plastic seal over the lid, we hadn't used it yet. But when it fell out of her bag and I picked it up, there was no seal. I tried to forget it and go to work. Maybe she put it there when we went out the weekend before? But unfortunately on the way to work I started to panic. I couldn't focus on anything but that bottle and I started shaking and my chest felt tight. So I told my boss I had to go home.
When my fiancée woke up I confronted her with the bottle. She said she had no idea it was in her bag. She even said why would she tell me to look for it if she knew it was there and was trying to hide it. I broke down. I ugly cried, huddled in a blanket, shaking. I pleaded with her to tell me the truth. And the whole time she remained calm, I even thought emotionless. She's normally a very empathetic person, doesn't like to see people cry, and has said on multiple occasions that men crying really gets to her and makes her upset.
At this point I can't help thinking something is definitely going on. But I can't get any proof. I don't want to push it with her, I don't want to ask her to show me her discord conversations. I just want to forget the whole thing. I love this woman, and she says she loves me too. I wish I could just go on like nothing has happened. But whenever I get a moment to myself I have thoughts that she's going to leave me. She's just waiting for something. I don't know what. Both of our birthdays are within two weeks and I'm worried that after mine, this coming Tuesday, she's going to drop this huge bomb.
Sorry for the long post, any help on how to put it out of my mind would be great. TLDR is in the title.
Edited for formatting because I guess this is why I always see people saying sorry for posting using their phone.
submitted by Fabulous-Ad-8866 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]