So I took my daughter to lunch today to a restaurant out west. It is a restaurant we have enjoyed for many years. She ordered her usual and I decided to go with one of the featured entrées of the day, chicken pot pie with choice of salad. The price was clearly labeled 12.99. I had no problem with the price knowing the quality of the meals I have had there before.
When my meal was placed before me I was dumb struck. It ended up being a frozen chicken pot pie that they had microwaved and put a cheese sauce on top of it. I didn't make a scene, I went ahead and ate the meal. I feel like I should have said something or sent it back, but I don't want to become a male Karen.
Overall I am highly disappointed with this establishment. I don't see myself going back after this complete let down of a meal.

it been a month (sorry but am even more poor now so i cant buy anything, i still have a few but i have to space it out)
am i sitting here at 10 pm (i write the review in multiple days sometimes lol) making a review because i have to declutter my cloths and am TERRIFIED, yes absolutely is it wort it yes
it a few days later and now am watching the fast and the furious am at the 8 right now, ill probably be done by tomorrow, it a fun marathon, right now the best one is the first, but like as a kid my fav was always the 3 one, guess when we grow up our taste grow up too lol
what's a duet: it a concept created by osmofolia (am pretty sure as i never seen it before) where a perfume is made by 2 perfume, so lets say you have exquisite corps that's the perfume you buy, when you receive it you gonna have 2 bottle, vanilla milk and smoked lavender musk, when you layer them on your skin, they become exquisite corps! but the fun part is that you have 3 perfume, and the 2 bottle you get are amazing layering notes (as it their hole purpose) so you can add them to any perfume you want
LIKES: tea, patchouli, tart fruits, close to skin smell, greens (grass, moss, leaf's of all sort (tomato leaf yum)), atmospheric/realistic, citrus, frankincense, cedar, most fruits actually, soil, roses, lavender, salt, sage, cannabis, rosemary, cozy gourmand, marshmallow, smoke, cinnamon actually most spice, pine/fir, violet leaf/violet, i like stuff that feel wet (fog, ocean, rain), ambergris
DISLIKES: ozone, aldehyde, oud, sandalwood, cinnamon leaf, big silage, white floral, especially tuberose and gardenias, but also just florals in general, alcoholics, vetiver, perfumy perfume, most milk, tar, when company say “for woman” or “for man”
HATE OR LOVE no in between: Hay, jasmine, incense, pink pepper, fancy woods, most resins, iris/orris, petrichor
to your attention: this is not really a critique, but it still normal i don't gush over everything, am talking about my taste not trying to sell you anything, i like all the company i talk about and if i don't i will say it. i am a bitch but don't let your feeling get hurt over a little dumb post please ;) love yall lets do this
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HONEY DUST you mean pollen right?
notes: pollen, hay, honey, beeswax, powdered sugar
though: so on the bottle there the name of the duet (what a spellcaster leaves behind) and a number not the name of the note, and when i got them i was too lazy to look it up to make sure i wrote the right name so i just did it by memory, so now on my bottle it written "pollen" lol. i do think it perfect for this perfume it super dusty to the point were if you have pollen allergy i would tell you to stay away from this, it also gives me the same harshness grass perfume give me sometime but it not at all green wish is kinda weird too maybe the hay? idk but it welcome, this perfume is the mix of comforting sweater and seasonal allergy, weird but i love that in a perfume
color: golden yellow dust of pollen in a gold ornate jar sitting on a red tinted wood table
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ANTIQUE BOOK if vanilla ice cream and white wood had a child
notes: paper, leather, glue, old book, cedar, vanilla, cetalox
though: every single book fragrance is either super chemical or super woody marshmallow there just no in-between and this is a woody marshmallow that dry down to a sandalwood-y thingy, i don't hate it but i do think it better as a addition to another perfume then by it own. but on it own i think it perfect for the book ladies that are a little (a bit) more conservative then me (and always ladies in a non gendered way lolll i just have a booktok person in mind and shes a woman, but it not a woman perfume none are)
color: a hard cover book with no letter printed on any of the page (your gonna say, oh a drawing pad, nah, a small hard cover where they just made a mistake on the print and there nothing) and also you know the wood you can find around lake and the sea, it super white and soft, that but in a 2x4

WHAT A SPELLCASTER LEAVES BEHIND cream pollen
notes: pollen, hay, honey, beeswax, powdered sugar, paper, leather, glue, old book, cedar, vanilla, cetalox
though: this is interesting the antique book note almost lost itself in the honey dust, but then you smell honey dust on it own again and your like ok i see it much more chill on the dusty-ness, i get it i get it, it also a perfect on the name i love it! what a spellcaster leaves behinds it so descriptive and cute and definetly perfect for the perfume, you can imagine the scene, a big dusty book closing, the dust particule going everywhere, someone closing a candle and then a door.
color: a huge dusty, very dusty book, with gold corner and yellowing pages
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VANILLA MILK sweet brown milk (smell better then it sounds)
notes: cream, caramel , heliotrope, vanilla, milk, musk
though: that's not for me, for sure, i mean to be fair my skin don't work with anything milk, my only love is milk shaka from Damask Haus, to me this is sickly sweet, but i don't think most would think that, if you like a milk caramel this is for you for sure, this is concerning because of the realism, i mean it smell like warm milk, and the thick light brown caramel that looks like melted plastic but actually taste pretty good, just very artificial, witch is weird cuz caramel sauce is so easy to make and i don't get why restaurant and ice cream shop don't make it themselves it like 3 ingredient, butter, sugar and cream, (brown sugar if you want butterscotch) but anyway you also have a bit of a floral note but it just adds to the warm milk, really interesting i see this being very popular with the gourmand people
color: a room temperature glass of milk forgotten on a oval shaped table, you know the big ones in wood, with a super big feet underneath, they always have some middle piece of broderie made by some grand mother and and a flower pot full of fresh flower (white heliotrope this time) on the other side of the table there a caramel cream pie
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SMOKED LAVENDER MUSK gay fur
notes: lavender, smoke, oakmoss, musk
though: lavender smoke is a pretty common mix, i don't particularly care for but i love this, it fun it sexy and the lavender pretty realistic. if you know a bit about queer history, lavender been a symbol of gay-ness (lol) since the end of the 19th century, and idk if it since i know this fact that i believe all lavender perfume are gay, well this not the exception (i really don't think there one, it like violet) idk know why exactly but this perfume is just very queer to me, only downside, cuz it really smell good, it that it doesn't last super long contrary to vanilla milk that's super persistent
color: light purple fur coat, and a black leather cat suit with cowboy boots and a big chunky belt, but truly it just a smoke lavender love

EXQUISITE CORPS They are cold like porcelain
notes: lavender, smoke, oakmoss, musk, cream, caramel , heliotrope, vanilla, milk, musk
though: you know i bitch a lot about name accuracy but this is spot on, does it smell like a crops, i mean no, not that i know of (and idk every dead i seen was in dust form not corps form) but it has this cold creaminess mix with the floral it just exactly the name. this is amazing if you put just a little bit of the vanilla milk (my opinion, but don't you think this concept is amazing for that you can dose your 2 perfume to make exactly the combi you prefer) i just think it better when it the smoky floral that take the lead it more mortuary less floral caramel
color: cold, soft but lifeless skin. resting on a pile of white and purple flower, white coffin, 2 small marble column on each side to witch rest on top flower pot. people crying
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7/11 STEAMED MATCHA LATTE a dammed good matcha latte
notes: steam, matcha, warm milk, green tea, cream
though: this is the best of them all, by far, on it own, it just so perfect, the matcha super realistic, it super creamy it has this amazing grass quality and i just sweet enough, as a tea note lover THIS, IS perfect. i were it the most out of the 6 and any combination of the 6. oh last thing it kinda also smell like white chocolate just so you know but there literally nothing else i can say to this perfume it a perfection in simplicity
color: white chocolate and matcha ganache, i kinda want to make a matcha latte recipe but it would be too long cuz there way to many step to make a fancy matcha latte, you'll have to imagine it lol
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COLD RAIN ON PAVEMENT perfectionism
notes: cold air, humid air, puddles, rain, concrete, tar
though: i hate ozone/aldehydes, but objectifly this one is not too bad, osmofolia has a goesmin single note that is actually realistic rain this one is not (to me) but it still adjacent, it wet, bright, soapy and and a bit floral, i mean ofc i wont like a perfume that give me a headache, but that's not the perfume fault right like, i know this perfume is beautiful, it gives me Ghibli rain scene, like in Arrietty, Totoro or Kiki the Little Witch, it rain but in a very aesthetically pleasing way, am doing a fast and furious marraton but after i feel like watching all the ghibli movie
color: walking next to a flower shop after the rain, a little brightness in the thick of the concrete jungle

ON THE CORNER OF JINHU ROAD too pretty
notes: steam, matcha, warm milk, green tea, cream, cold air, humid air, puddles, rain, concrete, tar
though: every one that read my reviews know 2 thing for sure about me, i hate ozone/aldehydes like we seen right before and i have weird references, well weirdly i don't hate this, i mean not on me it would still give me a head ache like ozone/aldehydes always do but it pleasant, i think it the creaminess, it kinda chill out the harshness of cold rain on pavement, but it still has the buzz-ness, it like a soapy, after the rain drinking a matcha latte (that has some kind of white floral syrup in) it pretty, too pretty for me
color: walking next to a flower shop after the rain, a little brightness in the thick of the concrete jungle but the flower shop is also a coffee shop and you get yourself a matcha latte
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MIX AND MATCH, if you get it you get it if you don't you don't ok
Matcha + Milk = Brown Sugar Matcha Latte
Matcha + Lavender = Dirty Matcha
Matcha + Book = White Chocolate BonBon
Matcha + Pollen = Fancy HoneyBee With Her Little Tea
Milk + Book = Alpha, Eating At The Library
Milk + Pavement = Frolicking, Naked After The Rain
Milk + Pollen = Sexy Picnic
Lavender + Pavement = Smoking In The Flower Field
Lavender + Book = Gay Woodworker
Lavender + Pollen = Ashtray, Potpourri
Pavement + Pollen = Electric Bee, Buzz Buzz
Pavement + Book = Little Bookstore In Old Montréal
Pollen + Book = Reading in the Sunroom
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i could do a combi of 3 perfume but that just to much work, but if you do please share in the comment your favs lolll
this month as been kinda hell, am still working on my move (to no where lol) and am nowhere near done, now am starting to make the boxes (tomorrow) and it stressing me the fuck out, anyway on that note, how do you make pr? loll (half joking) cuz yeah i miss doing these review, but dont worry i still have maybe 5 review left if i don't count the discontinued stereoplasm
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also, have a great night love xoxo

TL;DR: Friends had a VERY challenging birth, so our social group wants to make extra food for when they return home. What’s affordable, freezes well, and is something their ~3yo would also eat?
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Hey Reddit,
One of my best friends and his wife just had a traumatic birth - all’s good now, but there’s going to be a slew of follow up appointments well beyond the norm. A group of us want to put in extra effort as far as food delivery since they’ll have a chaotic month+ ahead.
Can you all please post/link to recipes that: - Freeze well - Portion easily - Are high in iron (if possible) - Won’t be rejected by the couple’s first child (~3yo daughter) - Have variety - Aren’t too spicy - Are budget friendly (I’m between paychecks, so I’m trying to cap my spend at ~$100) - BONUS 1: She grew up in the American south, so anything regional would be fun (especially if it reminds her of going to UGA) - BONUS 2: He’s Swiss, so anything with a Euro/German influence will be extra appreciated - BONUS 3: With me being a gay man, I have ZERO idea what a post-pregnancy person craves/needs. Any help there would be appreciated!
I browsed this community some and found some great ideas. So far, I’m thinking: - Chili - Rice and beans - One pot lasagna - Egg bites - Soup base (so they just have to boil some chicken broth and dump in the frozen bag we’ve pre-cooked)
Combined, there are three families contributing to cooking, so please overload us with options. Thank you in advance!

Ramen, a beloved and quintessential part of Japanese cuisine, has gained international acclaim for its comforting and savory flavors. I’ve always been a fan of traditional Japanese dishes and have since done my best to recreate them as authentically as I can. However, that doesn’t stop me from looking for ways to infuse creativity into my cooking. What has fascinated me about Japanese cooking is the variety of ingredients used that are meant to infuse the umami flavor into their dishes. Which brings me to this recipe I’m sharing. It’s not the most original or innovative, but it has since been a beloved comfort food for me. It’s my ramen recipe that combines traditional Japanese elements with a fusion twist. Here’s the recipe:
Ingredients:

• 2 packs of ramen noodles
• 4 cups of chicken or vegetable broth
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• 2 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1-inch piece of ginger, grated
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon miso paste
• 1 teaspoon chili paste (optional for spice lovers)
• 1 cup sliced mushrooms (shiitake or cremini)
• 1 cup sliced carrots
• 1 cup baby bok choy, halved
• 1 cup thinly sliced cooked chicken or tofu
• 2 soft-boiled eggs
• 2 green onions, thinly sliced
• Sesame seeds for garnish

Instructions:
Prepare the broth:

1. In a large pot, heat the sesame oil over medium heat. Add the minced garlic and grated ginger, sautéing for a minute until fragrant.
2. Pour in the chicken or vegetable broth, soy sauce, miso paste, and chili paste (if desired). Stir well to combine the flavors.
3. Bring the broth to a gentle simmer and let it cook for about 15 minutes to allow the flavors to meld together.

Cook the noodles:

1. While the broth is simmering, cook the ramen noodles according to the package instructions. Drain and set aside.

Prepare the toppings:

1. In a separate pan, sauté the sliced mushrooms and carrots over medium heat until they begin to soften.
2. Add the baby bok choy and continue cooking for a few more minutes until the vegetables are tender.

Assemble the ramen:

1. Divide the cooked noodles into serving bowls. Ladle the hot broth over the noodles, making sure to cover them entirely.
2. Arrange the cooked chicken or tofu on top of the noodles.
3. Place the sautéed vegetables on one side of the bowl.
4. Cut the soft-boiled eggs in half and add them to the other side of the bowl.
5. Garnish with sliced green onions and a sprinkle of sesame seeds.

Serve and enjoy!
Your Fusion Ramen is now ready to be savored. Serve it piping hot and invite your guests to mix the ingredients together, allowing the flavors to blend harmoniously. The combination of umami-rich broth, tender noodles, succulent chicken or tofu, and vibrant vegetables will create a symphony of tastes that will leave your taste buds dancing. Happy cooking!

I'm 19M. I've noticed my hair is starting to thin. For a couple years now I can pull it out without much resistance. I have a bald spot that's noticeable on security cameras and such. It's kind of embarrassing but not much I can do.
I chalked this up to genetics originally but I read that apparently undereating can cause hair loss, and I'm not sure which might be causing it.
I only really eat one big meal a day. Besides that I only really have snacks like breads or sweets. Today I had a mini frozen chicken pot pie, corn on the cob, and a few frozen mozarella sticks (a lot of frozen stuff today, not always like that...). I had some chocolate chip muffins I made later (I had about 5 of them- about 2 inches or so wide and tall each.) And that made up most of the calories I had today besides bumming a few chicken nuggets off another family member from lunch. So a lot of my daily calories are probably snacks...
I don't really count the calories on what I eat. I was obese for all of high school and then some, but for some reason I started losing weight in 2021. So I figured whatever I was doing was working. During the school year I'll usually have like a small lunch (just leftovers or something I can grab on campus like a sandwich or something) and a big dinner and snacks (like described above). During the summer I don't even really eat lunch. Maybe like a bagel or something.
So now I'm kind of wondering if perhaps the reason my hair is thinning so much could perhaps be because I'm not getting enough nutrients? I chalked it all up to genetics since my dad is completely bald, but idk I feel like I'm a little young for it to be thinning already this much?

I wonder if the mods and other regulars in this subreddit think we need to expand the list of post flairs. The flairs make it easier to find posts. However there have been a few posts, mine included that have picked a flair just because we need to flair the post but it isn't indicative of the post. So this defeats the purpose of having a flair.
So this post is to start a discussion on this.
Note: I am suggesting adding to the list of existing flairs. Currently these are the flairs available when I try to post in this sub: Beef, Beverage, Breakfast, Poultry, Dessert, Lamb, Pork, Seafood, Vegetarian, META
Could we share posts about chinese meals without specifically picking on one type of meat. A typical chinese meal usually features more than one protein type (fish, chicken, tofu, beef), a vegetable dish which sometimes has a protein cooked with it, a soup.
Flairs I think we need:

• Tofu - not all tofu dishes are vegetarian
• Soups - could be savoury soups that are part of a meal or sweet soups
• Dumplings (zhongi, dim sum/yum cha, jiaozi and other dumplings)
• Sauces
• Meals or celebrations (eg What was ordered when you dined out at a restaurant, Chinese new year meal, wedding, birthday or celebratory banquets, etc). The pic or pics or text of post has more than one protein type, more than one dish etc.
• maybe one about equipment or cooking methods though I assume they use META flair

Examples of posts that could have used a Sauces flair:

• Query about chilli oil but tag seafood
• What's this red sauce that has red chilis, garlic, and green onion that's often used on meats in mukbang videos?
• I hate to be that person but I need help with Zibo BBQ! Looking for recipes for the sauces and marinades.
• Not-that-spicy chili oil and condiments recommendations needed. The kind you can eat spoonfuls of without breaking a sweat..

Vegetable flair example:

• They are mainly vegetable dishes perhaps that may have a protein (fish, pork, prawn) but the protein isn't the minor player of the dish. These aren't vegetarian.
• Mixed Vegetables Curry With Prawn Home made recipe Winter Curry Recipe Winter Vegetable Curry has vegetarian flair. It is a vegetable curry with prawn. So need a vegetable flair not vegetarian.

Tofu flair examples:

• Question about claypot cooking and types of tofu with pork flair.
• Please help me figure out what the tofu dish was I had in Shanghai 22 years ago. The dish was a rectangle of crisp tofu smothered in brown gravy. Gravy could have been meat broth based.
• Enoki Mushroom filled Tofu Sheet Rolls (干豆腐卷金针菇)- super easy and tasty. How many types of tofu you know of? Which ones are your favorite?
• What is this kind of bean curd called and hows it used?? No clue how to use it but it tastes pretty good.

Soup flair examples:

• Post about soup, with vegetarian flair even though not vegetarian Had this great soup in Essen, Germany. any idea what it's actually? I want to cook it myself. Tasted amazing and was quite spicy.
• Post about soup with beverage flair Healthy Watercress with Ribs Soup (Easy Instant Pot Recipe) also known as Sai Yeung Choi Tong (with daikon)

Dumpling flair examples:

• Salted Egg Yolk Custard Xiao Long Bao at Paradise Dynasty in Costa Mesa. Delicious and not too sweet. vegetarian flair but definitely not vegetarian. Xiao Long Bao has pork in it, there's probably a beef or chicken version somewhere for those tho don't eat pork.
• I ate this a couple months ago and it was delicious. I didn’t get the name or where it was bought. I live in the US and my aunt might’ve bought it from NYC or NJ. The outside texture is very similar to a tamale and it’s not a zongzi unless it’s a different variant. Does anyone know what this is?
• As we are close to the festival where various Zong zi are eaten there may be other posts.

Meal flair examples:

• Sunday lunch: got a new range hood that can vent properly, so decided to have a lunch get-together to take advantage of the new hood. On the menu: stir fried garlic scapes and chicken, stir fried bone-in chicken with garlic, ginger and jalapeños, steamed branzino, & braised red cabbage
• BBQ Party When summer comes, the best way to gather friends and family together is for a fun and relaxed event.
• Post about oldest continuously run family-owned Chinese restaurant in the US . Jerry Tam the 5th generation Tam running the restaurant.
• Photos of some food I ate on a recent trip to Taiwan. The mixes of Chinese and Japanese influence makes for some amazing food.
• Roast Pork, Roast Duck, BBQ Ribs over rice. HK-style Noodle Soup with Roast Pork. Green Garden Village in Manhattan Chinatown, NYC
• Is there really a 'secret menu' at Chinese restaurants? If so, how can I get it as someone who isn't Chinese?
• Ideas for Easy Chinese Meal prep recipes for disabled family member -Cantonese/Hakka. Preferably soft/bite-sized textures
• Does anybody know of any chinese dishes/food items which are traditionally prepared for pregnant women?

Equipment or cooking method flair

• New knife day! Finally got myself a proper Chinese knife, hand carried over from Taichung Taiwan 🇹🇼. It pays to befriend the folks at your local Chinese restaurant.
• Has anybody tried silicone steamer sheets like these? Looks like a nice way to reduce some waste, if they work of course.
• Question about cooking congee...Can water be added after to reliably dilute the porridge texture? Need more of a gruel-like texture.
• Can anyone help me make congee in a multi cooker? Mine does not have congee setting and I don't want to make it on the stove
• How many tiers can I use for steaming rice buns?

Edit to add note listing existing flairs. also added "dim sum" to dumplings list as "dim sum / yum cha"

I have IBS and I'm also on a budget and trying to save some money by not ordering so much carryout. I'd love to learn some simple crock pot recipes for like...chicken and rice or something, that I could Ideally split into two separate meals to start so I can learn slowly about how to portion correctly.
I need to avoid using excessive ingredients like onions and garlic, and every recipe I look up online is so complicated. It overwhelms me. I also would like them to have some good protein and enough calories that I don't start losing weight. Maybe 700-900 per meal for dinner. Does anyone have any good recommendations on how to start?

I’d call myself a fairly good cook, however when the missus leaves for an extended amount of time, laziness gets the best of me. I have no desire to make any meals— so what I do is I make a big pot of something and then reheat it as the days go on.
In order for me to like it, it’s got to be something that will last me at least six to eight meals, taste great when reheated, doesn’t need much prep when reheating, and is overall tasty.
For instance, some of my favorites to make are chili (big pot of sauce, and rice from the Zujimori), Chicken Tikka Masala (big pot of sauce, and rice from the Zujimori), and Arroz con Pollo (big pot of sauce and rice from the Zujimori). You might see a pattern here…
And therein lies the problem. I can’t think of other recipes that fit these boxes. I’ve tried pastas, but pasta tastes awful reheated and i don’t want to wait ten minutes to cook it every time I’m hungry. I’ve done tacos and prepping all ingredients in Tupperware before hand— but I blow through it so quickly. I’ve made plenty of stews, but the “starch” base like mashed potatoes I find to reheat poorly, and breads as sides are simply not my favorite.
What other meals do you think would fit the boxes? Perhaps some sort of big pot sauce that I can cover some rice in?

Simply Cook are great for me. I started using them during Covid on the recommendation of my mum as I missed eating out. Loads of choice of recipes, my favourites are the curries! They add so much flavour to food and generally are really simple to make.
Basically, they send you a box with 4 different meals worth of spice pots and step-by-step recipes. You can choose the meals that you want from their website. You can choose from recipes like chicken makhani, paella, goan fish curry, beef stroganoff, jerk chicken and loads more. There are vegetarian options too like Indochinese Hakka noodles or penne alla Rustica amongst others.
It does NOT come with ingredients (but they're easy to source ordinary items), only the pots with seasonings, flavour blends and marinades to make the chosen recipes.
If you click on my link https://simplycook.com/invite/0XRR25 then you get a free box and so do I. I recommend you start the subscription for monthly deliveries. This will give you time to try them and decide whether to continue or cancel without having to pay for anything! (My link is open for as many people to click on who wants it)
The non referal link is here https://www.simplycook.com/ which gives a box for free with £1 postage.
Take a look and have a try. It's COMPLETELY FREE! I love the recipes, especially the chicken makhani...its amazing! Hopefully you'll love it too. It's helped so much with my cooking. Thanks.

Hi Leon and Sasha,
I miss you guys so much. I hope that you are safe in Moscow. I think of you often. I hope that you and your mom (grandparents and Irina/Phil) are okay.
I hope you mom reads this to you. I hope that it helps you go to sleep. I will write more and post it for you to read.
Astral or Star Jelly is a real event/substance that has been found in all areas of the earth (please Wikipedia it). My friend performed a DNA analysis on a sample of Star Jelly, and the results were amazing. His group concluded that the sample mostly had mitochondrial-like DNA, but it was very different from anything reported (much longer and having possible different base pairs).
Astral/Star Jelly is often found after meteorite showers or other astral events. I found some when I was young (heavy Northern Lights and Meteor Shower event). I crafted the first chapter of a potential novel. Please give feedback. I am switching to google docs, so soon I will have links to my works.
Yes, Charlotte edited the chapter. She kept saying to keep it simple and direct. We hope to see you in Turkey this summer.
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Chapter 1
The Byproduct of Gods
with revisions by your favorite daughter
📷
Her owners had held her for so many lifetimes that the stream, which flowed, near her family’s hut was gone. The trees that provided fuel, housing, and food were missing, replaced by a prairie. After all the years of the concept of returning home keeping her going, she did not feel safe. There were no people near her village, and it took her days to unearth signs of her youth. She discovered the land that she had first walked on only because the mountain and stones did not move. As she cleaned the Blue Volga granite idol of her parents’ deity, she felt nothing. The blue-green face of the god looked sad to her. He also was no longer safe. His followers were dead and his power forgotten.
Her first owner was a traveler. They moved with each new moon. Her master felt safe but she failed to understand that her entourage plodded along a predictable path. After many decades, a tale of a demon woman who did not age traveled the same circuit. Finally, a village attacked the demon. Her second owner was the daughter of the woman who bought her. The daughter decided to build a fortress and to rule her fief. Her third owner was the daughter’s son who had grown tired of never gaining his birthright. His guilt and myopic greed caused him to sell her to an alchemist. From that point on, she was an item for trade or barter.
Her final master failed to return home. She remained in his caravan for a week, performing her duties. When she had eaten all the food, she felt justified using her knowledge to destroy her metal shackles. It took her five days to dissolve her bindings with her jellies.
She thought of the places that she had felt safe. Those havens were all underground. A magician made her live in the passages beneath Kyiv when he was being hunted. The tunnels funneled the 15 rivers of the city and protected inhabitants from invaders or punishing ruling forces. For twenty years, she had lived in the coquina catacombs of Odessa. A man who thought he was a seer was convinced that his power had attracted the attention of dragons and demons. No one could approach the lair unseen.
After a week of searching the now unfamiliar area, the woman began to carve her home from the soil of her childhood. She spent fifty years making her home safe. Only she would know the paths and twists of her underground world. Only she would know where the escape exits emerged into the surrounding world.
Eventually, her home attracted others. The woman could have chased them away, but she felt a need to observe people. When the fourth generations of villagers were aging to the grave, there was no hiding the fact that she had not died. The villagers erected a semi-circular wall around the entrance to the woman’s cave. The wall grew and the woman did not protest the separation.
Generations later, people whispered that the villagers maintained the defenses of their community to keep the woman away from the town’s children at night. In the tavern, each generation of gallant males would boast that they would be the one to remove the blight of the woman from the town. When she inevitably outlasted them, she would attend the funeral of the most vocal warrior from each age group.
Daily the woman would remove more soil from her dugout. The community would search her discarded diggings for possible minerals or stones. They did not share any discoveries with the woman. During times of blight or famine, the locals would collect her soil and remove it from the community.
People would peer around the wall to scan the woman’s home. As the village grew, a leader placed two chairs at endpoints of the semi-circle barrier. During full moons, periods of strife, festivals, and other social events, menacing men sat in the chairs. Infrequently, people tried to enter the woman’s home. Aside from the guards, it was the more distraught people of the village who visited her.. The most recent person to enter the woman’s home was a grieving widow. Her grief made her seek the woman to find answers about her loss. Three mornings later, the villagers found the widow in the public square with drapes of herbs, flowers, and crafts around her limbs. The people thought the widow was dead or mindless from torture. When the widow awoke, she went to her house and began the chores for the day. When pressed about the woman’s abode, the widow would state that the home was loved, clean, and well maintained.
On the spring day when the widow was about to remarry, she was again discovered in the square coated with ropes of herbs, flowers, and idols. The woman disappeared for a decade after the wedding, but the widow brought her newborns to the opening of the earthwork to declare their names into the sunken space.
The aging hamlet relaxed when the woman was away. There was a sense of freedom in the people. They did not fear the retribution of the woman for their actions, and parents could not correct their children with threats of giving them to the woman. At times, the leaders of the people would consider filling in the woman’s hovel, but shovels and spades would split if used to cover the opening of the woman’s home. One regretful man tried using a mule and cart to dump rocks into the fastness. The stones crushed the man after his own tram flipped over on him.
Although the townsfolk feared and despised the woman, she had free reign in the village. As an indicator that she was amongst the people, the woman would adorn her head with a dark purple scarf. No other members of the village would wear that color. They looked for it whenever the woman shopped at the market. The woman paid with old and foreign coins, but the merchants welcomed the precious metals they were composed of. During the dark days of winter, the people collected the woman’s tender and deposited it into a lead box. The villagers had a belief that the more people touched the woman’s currency, the longer the winter would be.
After the community fortified against the woman, religious leaders organized efforts to erect carved idols and large wagon-wheel hexes aimed at her home. Each generation attempted to counter the woman with the current symbols of spiritual protection. The largest structure in the village was now a church, and the threshold of the church was oriented to face the woman’s home.
The woman was home when Alyona began her schooling in the church. She had learned the fundamentals of math, reading, and writing. She knew that her coursework would end soon. The village expected girls to be useful to a limit. Her mother walked her only surviving child to school along a path that would prevent their shadow from falling close to the woman’s realm. The villagers performed this ritual after someone claimed that the woman had controlled their behavior by stealing their shadow.
Alyona was daydreaming during school of a life away from the village when the woman touched her. Alyona had spent the morning in the woods collecting mushrooms and other edibles. Her findings made for great, free additions to their usually simple meals. . On days that Alyona returned with a bounty, they shared the extras with neighbors. It was a wager that these people would remember the gift and provide Alyona’s home with food during lean days.
The person gripping Alyona twirled her body so that she faced the opposite direction. Alyona assumed the culprit was another student or a young assistant at the church. It could have been a boy attempting to bully her to get her attention. She lowered her right hand, preparing to use the back to slap the violator. Alyona’s willingness to confront her accoster left when she saw the face of the woman under her purple scarf. Alyona knew she should look away from the woman, but her eyes locked with the woman’s gaze. All the stories the Alyona heard about the town ghoul stated that the woman was so old that her skeleton was all that was left of her body. The woman’s youthful face surprised Alyona. There were no lines or furrows on the woman’s forehead. If anything, Alyona would have stated that the woman’s face glowed.
I can smell it on your hands. The woman placed Alyona’s fingers under her nose. The force of the drawn air startled Alyona. She thought that the woman had pulled the top layer of skin off her index finger. Alyona’s toes curled when the woman sampled her hand. Across a church aisle, one of the priests was herding schoolchildren. He spotted the two of them. His face darkened at the sight of their contact.
WHAT IS ON YOUR HANDS, ALYONA? The priest shouted over the children.
Nothing, Sir. The woman’s tongue darted over the tip of Alyona’s index finger. I was harvesting in the woods before class.
You touched more than growths and nuts this morning, Singleton Child of the Crying Matron. The woman chewed on her thumbnail.
Alyona did not like her mother being referred to in that way, but the eyes of the woman immobilized her. How could she react forcefully to a person who was savoring her hand?
She is mine today, priest. The woman held out her other hand to the shepherd of the church. I will pay her mother for occupying her child for the day, and she will be returned unsoiled and whole.
The priest brought a gurgle of protest up but was shut down quickly.
My tunnels are beneath your place of worship and the bedchambers of Mistress Blake, The women stomped on the ground, and I know all of what has occurred within your walls.
Alyona realized that she was screaming when her throat began to sear. She expected that the woman’s hole would be dark, but the home glowed. There were mirrors and reflective glasses positioned throughout the house to harness sun rays from many holes and entrances in the surface of the residence. Therefore, Alyona was able to see herself yelling on fifty surfaces.
Hush child. The woman touched her mouth. Do not be afraid of the manner in which I inspected you. It is a show for the people. I only want to talk about your morning, and then I will let you go with a full belly and money to buy many toys.
Alyona felt her utterances dwindle down to a wheeze that slipped out her lips.
You have the scent on your fingers, girl. The woman was now examining Alyona’s left hand. It is on both hands, so you must have found a huge source.
A source? Alyona wanted to look at her hands but she maintained her attention on the woman.
Sit. The woman pointed to a well-padded chair. Sit and I will return with small pies and honey.
Alyona hovered over the seat. She wanted to be strong and to stand, but then she smelt the pies. The chair was very soft. There were no pins, claws, or spines in the cushion like she feared.
Alyona. The voice of the woman wove through the tunnels of the underground network. Alyona felt her name circle around her. She had never been afraid of her name before. Alyona Pistan…daughter of Fiva and the missing soldier.
Alyona closed her fist and felt the pain of her nails digging into her palms.
Fiva lives off the salary that the Duke must pay for your father’s military service. Your mother knows that the Duke no longer wants to pay this burden.
Alyona wanted to speak but her throat stung from screaming.
Your father’s name is Bay. He earned this title because he would not stop speaking when he was a baby. Like a horse that always had an opinion, your father would squawk at everyone before he knew words. The voice was now coming directly towards Alyona. My first gift to you and Fiva is the information that your father lives. There was a pause in the woman’s words. An enemy does not enslave him; he is lost with the simpleton that led him away. One day a map will lead him home, child.
The woman emerged from a cutout with a basket laden with pies, a pot of honey, wooden utensils, and slices of ham. In her other hand, she held a bucket of colored water.
We will eat together. The woman placed the basket on Alyona’s lap and retrieved two cups. After you accept the first pie, I will tell you an important secret of mine.
I do not think I want to know any of your secrets Starly-Gradda.
The woman laughed and placed the small wooden spoon into the pie directly in front of Alyona.
Elder-grandmother, you call me. The woman dunked a cup into the water and held it in her left hand. I think that term is the nicest thing a child has called me in a lifetime.
Alyona brought the food to her lips. She smelt the mint, berries, and kasha. Gently she laid the pie onto her tongue. She did not chew; she only let it rest in her mouth. She expected that the food would burn or numb her. The taste was full and made her wish to spit the substance out because it was too good to be real.
Ah, she eats. The woman clapped her hands. I was your age when I saw my first god being born.
Alyona choked on the pie.
I was sitting by a riverbank when the god entered our place. The woman drank from her cup. It was a bright yellow fish with shiny scales. I saw it come from nothing to being here.
The woman snapped her fingers and Alyona swallowed her food.
No one prayed for its existence. No one was singing for it to bring salvation. The woman made circles with her hands in front of Alyona. As far as I know, simple fish do not worship gods, but a god came for the fish of that river.
The woman tapped Alyona’s hand to take another bite of pie.
It floated there. The woman held up her hands. Here I am…a young maiden…thinking a god or demon turned itself into this creature to seduce or corrupt me. Again, a chuckle came from the woman. No other god cared about this special fish. I think it was floating only because it did not realize that a fish should swim in water.
Alyona grabbed a slice of ham. It had been two months since she had meat that was not paste.
Eventually, the golden fish fell into the water and swam away. The woman pulled back her hood and revealed her full face to Alyona. I tried to follow it, but it swam away from shore, and I lost sight of it.
Alyona cleared her throat and licked her lips.
Girl, if you want a drink, just take it. The woman filled Alyona’s cup and handed it to her. The ham is not that salty, but I think your sore throat would improve if you drank.
Alyona sipped the water. It did not taste bitter. It did not smell foul. In fact, the water’s taste was a mixture of apples, roses, and plums.
I told my mother, and she whispered to my father that they needed to trade me into marriage now, before I became soft in the head. I did not want to marry at my age, so I told her that I would go find proof of my shiny golden fish. The woman used a toothpick to dollop out a portion of honey. There was nothing in the water when I returned. I waded in the cool stream. I put my head under the surface and looked at the rocks for the golden shimmer. I found nothing.
Alyona ate the ham.
I was weeping on the spot that I saw the god be born. My heart was full of dread. I started to believe that the shiny golden god was not real. I was so sad that I was quickly accepting that I would be married to an old man so that he would tolerate my problems. The woman tapped her top lip. I felt that my mother had no love for me. I thought that if the golden fish were my mother, it would love me just because that is what should be.
Alyona selected another pie. This pie contained spices and mashed nuts.
Your mother loves you. I listen to all the words spoken in this village. If a parent lacks love for their child, I correct them or have them leave. The woman did not form a fist. She turned her hand into a claw, the conviction in her words hanging in the air until she relaxed it. As all hope was gone, I put my hand down in the grass, and felt the substance.
The woman held her hand flat towards Alyona.
It was clear. It was squishy like the rendered bones of stock animals. It had a pleasant smell, but I was scared to taste it. The woman cupped her hands. I gathered this glob. I used the front of my dress to carry the material. When I believed that the last speck was contained in my clothing, I ran to my parents.
Alyona had felt something similar in the forest that morning.
My mother accused me of only finding the discarded waste of an animal. She threatened to smear it over my face. The woman moved the honey pot closer to Alyona. My father took me to the village shaman, and he looked at the material. They scraped the material off my clothes, but not around my breasts. The shaman thought it was bone waste from an owl, the eggs of a species of frog, a shell-less egg from a dying bird, a mushroom that was usually underground, or the spit of an evil spirit.
Alyona’s eyes widened.
Of course, something as amazing as what we found would be considered evil. The woman waved her hand. I have discovered many bundles and I have never seen the substance created by an evil thing.
No? Alonya asked, breaking her food-induced silence.
No, child. The woman touched the tip of Alyona’s nose. It is not to say that evil people and things are not interested in the substance, but the creation of it does not come from evil.
Alyona resumed consuming the luxurious treats.
The morning after I saw the god being born, people started to fall sick. The woman sighed. My mother blamed the god substance. It was hard for the village not to turn on me after my mother told them it was my fault. The woman’s shoulders lowered. I had not slept that night, and I did not clean after my discovery. They put me in a crate that only had three holes. My father fed me and still cared for me.
Alyona did not know how to react but to nod at the woman.
When my elder brother was close to death from the illness, my mother brought him to my crate. She told me that I would have to watch my brother die because I was an evil liar who unleashed a demon on the community. I could see him wither in pain from the openings in my prison. The woman moved a third pie in front of Alyona. The night my mother told me that my brother would die, my father talked to me. It was an act of rebellion against my mother, but he asked me if I knew what had happened. I cried to him about how this was not something I did. I pleaded with my dad that I would never make my brother suffer, and that the day watching him had crushed my will to live.
The woman tore a slice of ham into pieces and placed pieces of the meat on the floor of her keep.
My father and I wept. He told me that I was likely to die because of the sickness. The woman tapped the tray. Not that I was sick… or was likely to get sick, but because it would seem as justice to the people. I knew his words were true, but I could not think of anything else to say.
The third pie was berry and egg meringue. Alyona did not know that pies like this one existed.
I entered the crate in the dress I wore when I saw the god be born. The truth is that I only had that dress and a wedding dress. My mother kept the dress I would’ve worn to my wedding in a box near her bed. A cat approached the pieces of ham. My grandfather had given me the wedding dress when he died, but she took it from me. My father used what he received from his father to buy me the only special clothes I would have in my life. My father loved me, Alyona, just like yours.
The cat touched Alyona’s leg. It startled her, and she confirmed that the cat was not black.
We talked about the jelly I had found. My father told me that he had tried to burn it, thinking it was an odd piece of animal fat. The substance did not burn. My father then tried to crush it out of existence, but the material was soft, but not easily destroyed. The woman touched the center of her chest. My father’s words made me remember that there was still some of the jelly on my dress. I touched where they did not scrape, and there was a patch of the substance. I pinched the substance and it coated my fingers. It felt warm, but not hot.
Alyona was glad that the cat had returned to the ham.
My father grew angry. He was arguing with the air that if he were a real man, he would protect his daughter and revive his son. He was a good father. The woman showed Alyona a closed smile. He was crying because he knew he could do nothing. I was sore and battered from being in the crate. I felt so greasy and disgusting. I thought I was no longer the same girl that wandered in the meadows.
The woman offered to refill Alyona’s water cup.
For some reason, I brought the fingers I had used to touch the smear of the jelly that was on my dress to my mouth. The taste was tangy, but not foul. It was better than the food that my father had inserted into the holes in my crate. I sucked on it. With both hands, the woman rattled the basket. I felt so much better. It was amazing. I could not see it, but I felt my dry, cracked lips heal. My mind became clear. I knew what I had to do.
Alyona stopped eating to listen to the woman.
I asked my father to place my brother’s mouth in front of the biggest hole of my crate. He thought I was mad. He accused me of confessing that I pledged my soul to demons, but I told him that I felt different after praying to our god. The woman looked directly at Alyona. I rubbed my fingers on the same spot of my dress, and I placed them into my brother’s mouth. He was so weak that he did not respond to this action. I moved my fingers along his gums, his teeth, I even touched his tongue.
Alyona spoke to the woman. Was he healed right away?
The woman chuckled.
I like you Alyona, but you have the impatience of a child. The woman touched Alyona’s chin. It was not a sudden reversal, but he did not die. People died that night, but my brother lived. More importantly, he was the only person to get even slightly better. He was not running in the fields, talking to everyone better, but he was no longer crying in pain. His eyes were no longer looking like they would burst. Moreover, my father stopped crying for us.
I am glad. Alyona looked at the half-eaten pie. She wanted more of it, but she thought it would be rude to return to eating.
It was another day, another four deaths, before my father told the shaman that he thought I could heal the sick. They pulled me from the crate and inspected me. The women called for me to be stoned. The men wanted me burned. The shaman asked how my brother was alive, and how I was still in good health. The woman tapped her right temple. I knew I had to lie. I knew that I could not tell the truth. I had to convince these scared people that I was not dangerous.
The woman shuffled the half pie back to Alyona.
I fell in front of the shaman and shouted, ‘The Green Man came to me.’ I do not think you know the Green Man, child, but he was the god of the people before Christ came to the land. The woman pointed to a drawing of a large tree man. It matters not what god I said talked to me. I yelled that I knew that I did something wicked, but our god had forgiven me, and I was now able to cure the sickness that was killing the village.
Alyona returned to eating the pie.
They whipped me and bound me. I feared that they would burn my dress, so I yelled that the Green Man said that if I were to heal the village, I would need to be as I was when he forgave and blessed me. The woman opened her hands so that Alyona could see her palms. The oldest people would pray in this manner. They tied my legs together and only allowed my right arm to be free. However, that was all I needed to start to heal the people of my life.
Alyona finished her meal.
I would say our prayers; tell the people who were watching that the Green Man wanted everyone to close their eyes so that his healing ray could hit the person. The woman pulled her head backwards with a laugh. During this time, I would pull some of the jelly off my dress and stick the substance in the person’s mouth.
The woman laughed deeply.
What? Alyona asked.
I did not know that so many of my fellow villagers were missing teeth. Children of the people that always had food, had damaged and missing teeth. I was trapped and bored, so my mind began to guess how many disgusting teeth injuries each person would have.
Alyona shivered.
I thought the teeth were bad, but then it got worse. The woman looked upwards. It was on the third day of my healing that it happened for the first time. It was night, and the shaman had decided to blind me with a rag during the healing. Someone’s parents said that they did not want me to steal the soul of their child while I healed them. I placed my finger into a very small mouth, and everything was different. I did not feel a tingle from treating a person with the substance. I sang our songs to Green Man and rubbed jelly over my right fingers. I had planned to give the infant as much of the stuff as I could. The woman covered her eyes. The tiny body jumped, but there was still no response.
Why? Alyona wanted to know.
The baby was dead. I did not know if the god-gift could bring life back to a person. I was scared that if I did not return this child alive to their parents, I would be killed. The woman bobbed her head to the ceiling of her cave home. I kept doing it for a long time. I replenished the coating of my fingers four times, but still there was no living response. I finally shouted into the air. I faked arguing with the Green Man. I begged him to give me the infant. I spoke words that no one had ever heard in an odd voice that I thought would sound like the Green Man. This battle went on for minutes until I asked if whoever brought this child to me would allow the Green Man to have the special child live with him. I am not sure if the parents knew that their baby had died. I am uncertain if the parents wanted me to do something that I thought was evil, but a male voice eventually responded that it would be an honor if his young son joined the hunters of the Green Man.
Alyona gasped.
I spoke in my fake Green Man’s voice that the parents of his new hunter would be honored with a new child by the next spring. I informed the parents that they would find gifts for the next year. The woman rocked her head so that she was looking at the floor. They brought me five more dead people to heal, but no more deceased children. I did not make a fuss over the dead adults. I stated that the Green Man blamed the family for their death. If they truly believed in the power of the Green Man, they would have brought their loved ones to me before the sickness took them.
Alyona nodded her head.
On the fifth day, my fingers were raw. My nails felt like they were growing too fast. I guess I was healing and benefiting from the jelly, but I was placing the same fingers into people’s mouths most of the day. The worst problem was that my dress was getting dry. The woman traced her lips with her right index finger. I think my father was watching me. I think he saw me searching desperately on my dress for any of the substance. I believe this because he brought me fresh peas to eat that night. In the third pea he gave me, the pod was full of the jelly.
Did your village love you for healing everyone after those days? Alyona smiled at the woman.
No. The woman patted the girl’s forehead. They kept me in the crate. There was no joy for me after I found the jelly.
You saved them.
The woman breathed deeply.
I said that the Green Man had used me to save them. I was nothing but a tarnished girl who may have the power to harm or make people ill. The woman turned her head to the side.
Did your father and brother free you from the crate? Alyona looked hopefully at the woman.
No child, the town folk dispatched the shaman with me in that wooden prison out into the world to purge the town of my evil. He threatened to kill me daily. He attempted to abandon me at every opportunity. The woman cupped her hand in front of Alyona. When I sensed a second source of the god jelly, he was able to sell me to a person.
No! Alyona did not know if it was a spell, but she was extending her hand towards the woman.
The sum was so great that my parents and brother lived well. The woman clapped each hand separately. That was after the shaman took his share of my bounty and spent more money on food, drink, and women on the trip home.
That’s…..
That is life, my special girl. The woman grabbed her hand and they stood up. The woman led the pair through tunnels and caverns. Eventually, the woman pulled her through a blanket of vines that concealed an exit to her labyrinth.
Your forest, Alyona. The woman gestured to the glade Alyona crossed to enter the woods.
Alyona pulled her hand away from the woman and pulled her hair back.
I am not sure what you want me to find. Alyona looked up to the woman. She received a smile.
I have never told anyone this before, the woman stuck her tongue out to Alyona, when I first touched the jelly, I felt that there were ants under my skin. It was the power of the jelly moving through me. It was such an odd feeling that I thought it was a sign of madness.
Alyona lowered her head. I felt something like that. I thought it was worms latching onto me from the peat.
That is the place, little one. Take me there.
Alyona was about to step forward when the woman asked her another question.
What color was the substance you touched today?
It was not one color, ma’am. Alyona moved her hand down to her legs. She brushed unseen but felt passengers from her body. I grabbed it first because I thought it was rose root. My mother could turn the flower into medicine to sell or trade. Alyona knelt and touched the ground. Except that the flower was so low to the ground and it was not the red or yellow flower I normally pick. They were violet with orange centers.
They did not feel like flowers.
No. Alyona pulled her hand away from the ground. They stuck to me like honey.

Astral or Star Jelly is a real event/substance that has been found in all areas of the earth (please Wikipedia it). My friend performed a DNA analysis on a sample of Star Jelly, and the results were amazing. His group concluded that the sample mostly had mitochondrial-like DNA, but it was very different from anything reported (much longer and having possible different base pairs).
Astral/Star Jelly is often found after meteorite showers or other astral events. I found some when I was young (heavy Northern Lights and Meteor Shower event). I crafted the first chapter of a potential novel. Please give feedback. I am switching to google docs, so soon I will have links to my works.
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Chapter 1
The Byproduct of Gods
Her owners had held her for so many lifetimes that the stream, which flowed, near her family’s hut was gone. The trees that provided fuel, housing, and food were missing, replaced by a prairie. After all the years of the concept of returning home keeping her going, she did not feel safe. There were no people near her village, and it took her days to unearth signs of her youth. She discovered the land that she had first walked on only because the mountain and stones did not move. As she cleaned the Blue Volga granite idol of her parents’ deity, she felt nothing. The blue-green face of the god looked sad to her. He also was no longer safe. His followers were dead and his power forgotten.
Her first owner was a traveler. They moved with each new moon. Her master felt safe but she failed to understand that her entourage plodded along a predictable path. After many decades, a tale of a demon woman who did not age traveled the same circuit. Finally, a village attacked the demon. Her second owner was the daughter of the woman who bought her. The daughter decided to build a fortress and to rule her fief. Her third owner was the daughter’s son who had grown tired of never gaining his birthright. His guilt and myopic greed caused him to sell her to an alchemist. From that point on, she was an item for trade or barter.
Her final master failed to return home. She remained in his caravan for a week, performing her duties. When she had eaten all the food, she felt justified using her knowledge to destroy her metal shackles. It took her five days to dissolve her bindings with her jellies.
She thought of the places that she had felt safe. Those havens were all underground. A magician made her live in the passages beneath Kyiv when he was being hunted. The tunnels funneled the 15 rivers of the city and protected inhabitants from invaders or punishing ruling forces. For twenty years, she had lived in the coquina catacombs of Odessa. A man who thought he was a seer was convinced that his power had attracted the attention of dragons and demons. No one could approach the lair unseen.
After a week of searching the now unfamiliar area, the woman began to carve her home from the soil of her childhood. She spent fifty years making her home safe. Only she would know the paths and twists of her underground world. Only she would know where the escape exits emerged into the surrounding world.
Eventually, her home attracted others. The woman could have chased them away, but she felt a need to observe people. When the fourth generations of villagers were aging to the grave, there was no hiding the fact that she had not died. The villagers erected a semi-circular wall around the entrance to the woman’s cave. The wall grew and the woman did not protest the separation.
Generations later, people whispered that the villagers maintained the defenses of their community to keep the woman away from the town’s children at night. In the tavern, each generation of gallant males would boast that they would be the one to remove the blight of the woman from the town. When she inevitably outlasted them, she would attend the funeral of the most vocal warrior from each age group.
Daily the woman would remove more soil from her dugout. The community would search her discarded diggings for possible minerals or stones. They did not share any discoveries with the woman. During times of blight or famine, the locals would collect her soil and remove it from the community.
People would peer around the wall to scan the woman’s home. As the village grew, a leader placed two chairs at endpoints of the semi-circle barrier. During full moons, periods of strife, festivals, and other social events, menacing men sat in the chairs. Infrequently, people tried to enter the woman’s home. Aside from the guards, it was the more distraught people of the village who visited her.. The most recent person to enter the woman’s home was a grieving widow. Her grief made her seek the woman to find answers about her loss. Three mornings later, the villagers found the widow in the public square with drapes of herbs, flowers, and crafts around her limbs. The people thought the widow was dead or mindless from torture. When the widow awoke, she went to her house and began the chores for the day. When pressed about the woman’s abode, the widow would state that the home was loved, clean, and well maintained.
On the spring day when the widow was about to remarry, she was again discovered in the square coated with ropes of herbs, flowers, and idols. The woman disappeared for a decade after the wedding, but the widow brought her newborns to the opening of the earthwork to declare their names into the sunken space.
The aging hamlet relaxed when the woman was away. There was a sense of freedom in the people. They did not fear the retribution of the woman for their actions, and parents could not correct their children with threats of giving them to the woman. At times, the leaders of the people would consider filling in the woman’s hovel, but shovels and spades would split if used to cover the opening of the woman’s home. One regretful man tried using a mule and cart to dump rocks into the fastness. The stones crushed the man after his own tram flipped over on him.
Although the townsfolk feared and despised the woman, she had free reign in the village. As an indicator that she was amongst the people, the woman would adorn her head with a dark purple scarf. No other members of the village would wear that color. They looked for it whenever the woman shopped at the market. The woman paid with old and foreign coins, but the merchants welcomed the precious metals they were composed of. During the dark days of winter, the people collected the woman’s tender and deposited it into a lead box. The villagers had a belief that the more people touched the woman’s currency, the longer the winter would be.
After the community fortified against the woman, religious leaders organized efforts to erect carved idols and large wagon-wheel hexes aimed at her home. Each generation attempted to counter the woman with the current symbols of spiritual protection. The largest structure in the village was now a church, and the threshold of the church was oriented to face the woman’s home.
The woman was home when Alyona began her schooling in the church. She had learned the fundamentals of math, reading, and writing. She knew that her coursework would end soon. The village expected girls to be useful to a limit. Her mother walked her only surviving child to school along a path that would prevent their shadow from falling close to the woman’s realm. The villagers performed this ritual after someone claimed that the woman had controlled their behavior by stealing their shadow.
Alyona was daydreaming during school of a life away from the village when the woman touched her. Alyona had spent the morning in the woods collecting mushrooms and other edibles. Her findings made for great, free additions to their usually simple meals. . On days that Alyona returned with a bounty, they shared the extras with neighbors. It was a wager that these people would remember the gift and provide Alyona’s home with food during lean days.
The person gripping Alyona twirled her body so that she faced the opposite direction. Alyona assumed the culprit was another student or a young assistant at the church. It could have been a boy attempting to bully her to get her attention. She lowered her right hand, preparing to use the back to slap the violator. Alyona’s willingness to confront her accoster left when she saw the face of the woman under her purple scarf. Alyona knew she should look away from the woman, but her eyes locked with the woman’s gaze. All the stories the Alyona heard about the town ghoul stated that the woman was so old that her skeleton was all that was left of her body. The woman’s youthful face surprised Alyona. There were no lines or furrows on the woman’s forehead. If anything, Alyona would have stated that the woman’s face glowed.
I can smell it on your hands. The woman placed Alyona’s fingers under her nose. The force of the drawn air startled Alyona. She thought that the woman had pulled the top layer of skin off her index finger. Alyona’s toes curled when the woman sampled her hand. Across a church aisle, one of the priests was herding schoolchildren. He spotted the two of them. His face darkened at the sight of their contact.
WHAT IS ON YOUR HANDS, ALYONA? The priest shouted over the children.
Nothing, Sir. The woman’s tongue darted over the tip of Alyona’s index finger. I was harvesting in the woods before class.
You touched more than growths and nuts this morning, Singleton Child of the Crying Matron. The woman chewed on her thumbnail.
Alyona did not like her mother being referred to in that way, but the eyes of the woman immobilized her. How could she react forcefully to a person who was savoring her hand?
She is mine today, priest. The woman held out her other hand to the shepherd of the church. I will pay her mother for occupying her child for the day, and she will be returned unsoiled and whole.
The priest brought a gurgle of protest up but was shut down quickly.
My tunnels are beneath your place of worship and the bedchambers of Mistress Blake, The women stomped on the ground, and I know all of what has occurred within your walls.
Alyona realized that she was screaming when her throat began to sear. She expected that the woman’s hole would be dark, but the home glowed. There were mirrors and reflective glasses positioned throughout the house to harness sun rays from many holes and entrances in the surface of the residence. Therefore, Alyona was able to see herself yelling on fifty surfaces.
Hush child. The woman touched her mouth. Do not be afraid of the manner in which I inspected you. It is a show for the people. I only want to talk about your morning, and then I will let you go with a full belly and money to buy many toys.
Alyona felt her utterances dwindle down to a wheeze that slipped out her lips.
You have the scent on your fingers, girl. The woman was now examining Alyona’s left hand. It is on both hands, so you must have found a huge source.
A source? Alyona wanted to look at her hands but she maintained her attention on the woman.
Sit. The woman pointed to a well-padded chair. Sit and I will return with small pies and honey.
Alyona hovered over the seat. She wanted to be strong and to stand, but then she smelt the pies. The chair was very soft. There were no pins, claws, or spines in the cushion like she feared.
Alyona. The voice of the woman wove through the tunnels of the underground network. Alyona felt her name circle around her. She had never been afraid of her name before. Alyona Pistan…daughter of Fiva and the missing soldier.
Alyona closed her fist and felt the pain of her nails digging into her palms.
Fiva lives off the salary that the Duke must pay for your father’s military service. Your mother knows that the Duke no longer wants to pay this burden.
Alyona wanted to speak but her throat stung from screaming.
Your father’s name is Bay. He earned this title because he would not stop speaking when he was a baby. Like a horse that always had an opinion, your father would squawk at everyone before he knew words. The voice was now coming directly towards Alyona. My first gift to you and Fiva is the information that your father lives. There was a pause in the woman’s words. An enemy does not enslave him; he is lost with the simpleton that led him away. One day a map will lead him home, child.
The woman emerged from a cutout with a basket laden with pies, a pot of honey, wooden utensils, and slices of ham. In her other hand, she held a bucket of colored water.
We will eat together. The woman placed the basket on Alyona’s lap and retrieved two cups. After you accept the first pie, I will tell you an important secret of mine.
I do not think I want to know any of your secrets Starly-Gradda.
The woman laughed and placed the small wooden spoon into the pie directly in front of Alyona.
Elder-grandmother, you call me. The woman dunked a cup into the water and held it in her left hand. I think that term is the nicest thing a child has called me in a lifetime.
Alyona brought the food to her lips. She smelt the mint, berries, and kasha. Gently she laid the pie onto her tongue. She did not chew; she only let it rest in her mouth. She expected that the food would burn or numb her. The taste was full and made her wish to spit the substance out because it was too good to be real.
Ah, she eats. The woman clapped her hands. I was your age when I saw my first god being born.
Alyona choked on the pie.
I was sitting by a riverbank when the god entered our place. The woman drank from her cup. It was a bright yellow fish with shiny scales. I saw it come from nothing to being here.
The woman snapped her fingers and Alyona swallowed her food.
No one prayed for its existence. No one was singing for it to bring salvation. The woman made circles with her hands in front of Alyona. As far as I know, simple fish do not worship gods, but a god came for the fish of that river.
The woman tapped Alyona’s hand to take another bite of pie.
It floated there. The woman held up her hands. Here I am…a young maiden…thinking a god or demon turned itself into this creature to seduce or corrupt me. Again, a chuckle came from the woman. No other god cared about this special fish. I think it was floating only because it did not realize that a fish should swim in water.
Alyona grabbed a slice of ham. It had been two months since she had meat that was not paste.
Eventually, the golden fish fell into the water and swam away. The woman pulled back her hood and revealed her full face to Alyona. I tried to follow it, but it swam away from shore, and I lost sight of it.
Alyona cleared her throat and licked her lips.
Girl, if you want a drink, just take it. The woman filled Alyona’s cup and handed it to her. The ham is not that salty, but I think your sore throat would improve if you drank.
Alyona sipped the water. It did not taste bitter. It did not smell foul. In fact, the water’s taste was a mixture of apples, roses, and plums.
I told my mother, and she whispered to my father that they needed to trade me into marriage now, before I became soft in the head. I did not want to marry at my age, so I told her that I would go find proof of my shiny golden fish. The woman used a toothpick to dollop out a portion of honey. There was nothing in the water when I returned. I waded in the cool stream. I put my head under the surface and looked at the rocks for the golden shimmer. I found nothing.
Alyona ate the ham.
I was weeping on the spot that I saw the god be born. My heart was full of dread. I started to believe that the shiny golden god was not real. I was so sad that I was quickly accepting that I would be married to an old man so that he would tolerate my problems. The woman tapped her top lip. I felt that my mother had no love for me. I thought that if the golden fish were my mother, it would love me just because that is what should be.
Alyona selected another pie. This pie contained spices and mashed nuts.
Your mother loves you. I listen to all the words spoken in this village. If a parent lacks love for their child, I correct them or have them leave. The woman did not form a fist. She turned her hand into a claw, the conviction in her words hanging in the air until she relaxed it. As all hope was gone, I put my hand down in the grass, and felt the substance.
The woman held her hand flat towards Alyona.
It was clear. It was squishy like the rendered bones of stock animals. It had a pleasant smell, but I was scared to taste it. The woman cupped her hands. I gathered this glob. I used the front of my dress to carry the material. When I believed that the last speck was contained in my clothing, I ran to my parents.
Alyona had felt something similar in the forest that morning.
My mother accused me of only finding the discarded waste of an animal. She threatened to smear it over my face. The woman moved the honey pot closer to Alyona. My father took me to the village shaman, and he looked at the material. They scraped the material off my clothes, but not around my breasts. The shaman thought it was bone waste from an owl, the eggs of a species of frog, a shell-less egg from a dying bird, a mushroom that was usually underground, or the spit of an evil spirit.
Alyona’s eyes widened.
Of course, something as amazing as what we found would be considered evil. The woman waved her hand. I have discovered many bundles and I have never seen the substance created by an evil thing.
No? Alonya asked, breaking her food-induced silence.
No, child. The woman touched the tip of Alyona’s nose. It is not to say that evil people and things are not interested in the substance, but the creation of it does not come from evil.
Alyona resumed consuming the luxurious treats.
The morning after I saw the god being born, people started to fall sick. The woman sighed. My mother blamed the god substance. It was hard for the village not to turn on me after my mother told them it was my fault. The woman’s shoulders lowered. I had not slept that night, and I did not clean after my discovery. They put me in a crate that only had three holes. My father fed me and still cared for me.
Alyona did not know how to react but to nod at the woman.
When my elder brother was close to death from the illness, my mother brought him to my crate. She told me that I would have to watch my brother die because I was an evil liar who unleashed a demon on the community. I could see him wither in pain from the openings in my prison. The woman moved a third pie in front of Alyona. The night my mother told me that my brother would die, my father talked to me. It was an act of rebellion against my mother, but he asked me if I knew what had happened. I cried to him about how this was not something I did. I pleaded with my dad that I would never make my brother suffer, and that the day watching him had crushed my will to live.
The woman tore a slice of ham into pieces and placed pieces of the meat on the floor of her keep.
My father and I wept. He told me that I was likely to die because of the sickness. The woman tapped the tray. Not that I was sick… or was likely to get sick, but because it would seem as justice to the people. I knew his words were true, but I could not think of anything else to say.
The third pie was berry and egg meringue. Alyona did not know that pies like this one existed.
I entered the crate in the dress I wore when I saw the god be born. The truth is that I only had that dress and a wedding dress. My mother kept the dress I would’ve worn to my wedding in a box near her bed. A cat approached the pieces of ham. My grandfather had given me the wedding dress when he died, but she took it from me. My father used what he received from his father to buy me the only special clothes I would have in my life. My father loved me, Alyona, just like yours.
The cat touched Alyona’s leg. It startled her, and she confirmed that the cat was not black.
We talked about the jelly I had found. My father told me that he had tried to burn it, thinking it was an odd piece of animal fat. The substance did not burn. My father then tried to crush it out of existence, but the material was soft, but not easily destroyed. The woman touched the center of her chest. My father’s words made me remember that there was still some of the jelly on my dress. I touched where they did not scrape, and there was a patch of the substance. I pinched the substance and it coated my fingers. It felt warm, but not hot.
Alyona was glad that the cat had returned to the ham.
My father grew angry. He was arguing with the air that if he were a real man, he would protect his daughter and revive his son. He was a good father. The woman showed Alyona a closed smile. He was crying because he knew he could do nothing. I was sore and battered from being in the crate. I felt so greasy and disgusting. I thought I was no longer the same girl that wandered in the meadows.
The woman offered to refill Alyona’s water cup.
For some reason, I brought the fingers I had used to touch the smear of the jelly that was on my dress to my mouth. The taste was tangy, but not foul. It was better than the food that my father had inserted into the holes in my crate. I sucked on it. With both hands, the woman rattled the basket. I felt so much better. It was amazing. I could not see it, but I felt my dry, cracked lips heal. My mind became clear. I knew what I had to do.
Alyona stopped eating to listen to the woman.
I asked my father to place my brother’s mouth in front of the biggest hole of my crate. He thought I was mad. He accused me of confessing that I pledged my soul to demons, but I told him that I felt different after praying to our god. The woman looked directly at Alyona. I rubbed my fingers on the same spot of my dress, and I placed them into my brother’s mouth. He was so weak that he did not respond to this action. I moved my fingers along his gums, his teeth, I even touched his tongue.
Alyona spoke to the woman. Was he healed right away?
The woman chuckled.
I like you Alyona, but you have the impatience of a child. The woman touched Alyona’s chin. It was not a sudden reversal, but he did not die. People died that night, but my brother lived. More importantly, he was the only person to get even slightly better. He was not running in the fields, talking to everyone better, but he was no longer crying in pain. His eyes were no longer looking like they would burst. Moreover, my father stopped crying for us.
I am glad. Alyona looked at the half-eaten pie. She wanted more of it, but she thought it would be rude to return to eating.
It was another day, another four deaths, before my father told the shaman that he thought I could heal the sick. They pulled me from the crate and inspected me. The women called for me to be stoned. The men wanted me burned. The shaman asked how my brother was alive, and how I was still in good health. The woman tapped her right temple. I knew I had to lie. I knew that I could not tell the truth. I had to convince these scared people that I was not dangerous.
The woman shuffled the half pie back to Alyona.
I fell in front of the shaman and shouted, ‘The Green Man came to me.’ I do not think you know the Green Man, child, but he was the god of the people before Christ came to the land. The woman pointed to a drawing of a large tree man. It matters not what god I said talked to me. I yelled that I knew that I did something wicked, but our god had forgiven me, and I was now able to cure the sickness that was killing the village.
Alyona returned to eating the pie.
They whipped me and bound me. I feared that they would burn my dress, so I yelled that the Green Man said that if I were to heal the village, I would need to be as I was when he forgave and blessed me. The woman opened her hands so that Alyona could see her palms. The oldest people would pray in this manner. They tied my legs together and only allowed my right arm to be free. However, that was all I needed to start to heal the people of my life.
Alyona finished her meal.
I would say our prayers; tell the people who were watching that the Green Man wanted everyone to close their eyes so that his healing ray could hit the person. The woman pulled her head backwards with a laugh. During this time, I would pull some of the jelly off my dress and stick the substance in the person’s mouth.
The woman laughed deeply.
What? Alyona asked.
I did not know that so many of my fellow villagers were missing teeth. Children of the people that always had food, had damaged and missing teeth. I was trapped and bored, so my mind began to guess how many disgusting teeth injuries each person would have.
Alyona shivered.
I thought the teeth were bad, but then it got worse. The woman looked upwards. It was on the third day of my healing that it happened for the first time. It was night, and the shaman had decided to blind me with a rag during the healing. Someone’s parents said that they did not want me to steal the soul of their child while I healed them. I placed my finger into a very small mouth, and everything was different. I did not feel a tingle from treating a person with the substance. I sang our songs to Green Man and rubbed jelly over my right fingers. I had planned to give the infant as much of the stuff as I could. The woman covered her eyes. The tiny body jumped, but there was still no response.
Why? Alyona wanted to know.
The baby was dead. I did not know if the god-gift could bring life back to a person. I was scared that if I did not return this child alive to their parents, I would be killed. The woman bobbed her head to the ceiling of her cave home. I kept doing it for a long time. I replenished the coating of my fingers four times, but still there was no living response. I finally shouted into the air. I faked arguing with the Green Man. I begged him to give me the infant. I spoke words that no one had ever heard in an odd voice that I thought would sound like the Green Man. This battle went on for minutes until I asked if whoever brought this child to me would allow the Green Man to have the special child live with him. I am not sure if the parents knew that their baby had died. I am uncertain if the parents wanted me to do something that I thought was evil, but a male voice eventually responded that it would be an honor if his young son joined the hunters of the Green Man.
Alyona gasped.
I spoke in my fake Green Man’s voice that the parents of his new hunter would be honored with a new child by the next spring. I informed the parents that they would find gifts for the next year. The woman rocked her head so that she was looking at the floor. They brought me five more dead people to heal, but no more deceased children. I did not make a fuss over the dead adults. I stated that the Green Man blamed the family for their death. If they truly believed in the power of the Green Man, they would have brought their loved ones to me before the sickness took them.
Alyona nodded her head.
On the fifth day, my fingers were raw. My nails felt like they were growing too fast. I guess I was healing and benefiting from the jelly, but I was placing the same fingers into people’s mouths most of the day. The worst problem was that my dress was getting dry. The woman traced her lips with her right index finger. I think my father was watching me. I think he saw me searching desperately on my dress for any of the substance. I believe this because he brought me fresh peas to eat that night. In the third pea he gave me, the pod was full of the jelly.
Did your village love you for healing everyone after those days? Alyona smiled at the woman.
No. The woman patted the girl’s forehead. They kept me in the crate. There was no joy for me after I found the jelly.
You saved them.
The woman breathed deeply.
I said that the Green Man had used me to save them. I was nothing but a tarnished girl who may have the power to harm or make people ill. The woman turned her head to the side.
Did your father and brother free you from the crate? Alyona looked hopefully at the woman.
No child, the town folk dispatched the shaman with me in that wooden prison out into the world to purge the town of my evil. He threatened to kill me daily. He attempted to abandon me at every opportunity. The woman cupped her hand in front of Alyona. When I sensed a second source of the god jelly, he was able to sell me to a person.
No! Alyona did not know if it was a spell, but she was extending her hand towards the woman.
The sum was so great that my parents and brother lived well. The woman clapped each hand separately. That was after the shaman took his share of my bounty and spent more money on food, drink, and women on the trip home.
That’s…..
That is life, my special girl. The woman grabbed her hand and they stood up. The woman led the pair through tunnels and caverns. Eventually, the woman pulled her through a blanket of vines that concealed an exit to her labyrinth.
Your forest, Alyona. The woman gestured to the glade Alyona crossed to enter the woods.
Alyona pulled her hand away from the woman and pulled her hair back.
I am not sure what you want me to find. Alyona looked up to the woman. She received a smile.
I have never told anyone this before, the woman stuck her tongue out to Alyona, when I first touched the jelly, I felt that there were ants under my skin. It was the power of the jelly moving through me. It was such an odd feeling that I thought it was a sign of madness.
Alyona lowered her head. I felt something like that. I thought it was worms latching onto me from the peat.
That is the place, little one. Take me there.
Alyona was about to step forward when the woman asked her another question.
What color was the substance you touched today?
It was not one color, ma’am. Alyona moved her hand down to her legs. She brushed unseen but felt passengers from her body. I grabbed it first because I thought it was rose root. My mother could turn the flower into medicine to sell or trade. Alyona knelt and touched the ground. Except that the flower was so low to the ground and it was not the red or yellow flower I normally pick. They were violet with orange centers.
They did not feel like flowers.
No. Alyona pulled her hand away from the ground. They stuck to me like honey.

IE changes to velars (K) often seem irregular, and since these include k > x & *h > k, it is likely that PIE h1 = x^, h2 = x, h3 = xW.
​
G. kúmbos ‘vessel/goblet’, Skt. kumbhá-s ‘japitchewater japot’, Av. xumba-
*xamanto-s > R. xomút ‘horse’s harness’, Li. kãmanos ‘leather bridle’
*k^alh- > L. calēre ‘be warm’, Lt. silt ‘grow warm’, salts, Li. šáltas ‘cold’, R. xolod ‘cold’
? > *xalpikiko-s > Slavic *xolpĭčĭkŭ ‘boy / young servant’, TB kālpśke ‘youth / boy’
*kaudh-? > OP xauda- ‘cap’, Av. xaōda- ‘helmet’
Skt. kardama- ‘mud’, NP xard ‘muddy place’
Skt. kharjura- ‘silver’, Greek árguros ‘silver’
*h3ost- > G. ostéon ‘bone’, OCS kostĭ, L. costa ‘rib’
*xWokW- >> L. oculus ‘eye’; *xWokW-ixto- >> Li. akytas ‘having eyes’, L. *xokwel-it- ‘having (one) eye’ > cocules ‘one-eyed’
*prdumxo- > Kh. purdùm ‘leopard’, Skt. prdakū-, prdākhu- ‘leopard/tigesnake’
*kxapros > OIc. hafr ‘male goat’, L. caper, *gGapro-s > OIr. gabor, *xałfros > Arm. k’ał ‘male goat’
*kenh- / *kanh- > Arm. kanxem ‘rise up/hurry/go first/arrive before’, OIr. cinim ‘spring / descend from’
​
*kap-ye- > L. capiō ‘seize/take’, G. káptō ‘gulp down’, Go. hafjan, OIc hefja ‘lift’
*gab- > Arm. kapem ‘bind’
*ghabh- > L. habeō
(compare kapem ‘bind’ to Latvian kampt ‘seize/grasp’)
​
Slavic *golumb- > R. goluboj ‘blue’, Baltic *golimb- > OPr. golimban ‘blue’, *gelumbiyā- > Li. gelumbė ‘blue kerchief/cloth’
Slavic *golumbi- ‘dove’
Sanskrit kalamba- / kaḍamba- / kadamba-, Greek kolumbís / kólumbos ‘diver (bird)’, Latin columba ‘dove, pigeon’
*š\salam(b)a\u > MArm. salam -u-, salamb -a- ‘(francolin?) partridge’
​
*kwap- ‘smoke / steam’ > Lithuanian kvãpas ‘breath / odor’, *xwap- > Latin vapor
*k^witro- > Lithuanian švitràs ‘glasspaper / sandpaper’, *xwitro- > Latin vitrum ‘glass’
​
? > *mxëlto > TA mkälto ‘young’, malto ‘in the first place’
? > *pesuxā- > TA puskāñ, TB passoñ ‘muscles’
? > *lewax^- > TA lu, pl. lwāk, TB luwo, pl. lwāsa ‘animal’
Skt. srákva- \ sṛkvaṇ- ‘corner of mouth’, TB *sǝrkwan- > *sǝrxwan- > särwāna (pl. tan.) ‘face’
​
Most of these are already recognized as cognates, some are distputed. For Skt. kharjura- ‘silver’, Greek árguros ‘silver’ from PIE *h2arg^uro-, see https://www.reddit.com/IndoEuropean/comments/13umn3s/greek_kh%C3%A1lub_hardened_iron_steel_khalk%C3%B3s/ . Armenian and Celtic sometimes changing *ka- > *ga- (and g > k in Arm.) would explain some data, but this is not regular. Many of these might come from clusters like *k^x-. The similar *zg is also optional around IE:
*mezg- > L. mergō, Skt. májjati ‘submerge/sink’, *mezgu- > L. mergus ‘gull’, Skt. madgú-
*zgWes- ‘quench/extinguish / put out a fire’ > *djas- > Skt. dásyati be exhausted / despair, jása- \ dása-, etc.
*azgWolxo-? > G. ásbolos / asbólē ‘soot’, *ask^ülxo- > Arm. acuł / acux ‘soot/coal’
*presgWu-? G. présbus ‘old man’, Cr. preigus, Arm. erēc` ‘elder’
Some say *pres-gWh2u-? ‘coming before / ancestor’ is needed to explain Armenian erēc`, but I think acuł shows the same (caused by g > g^ before u (indicating u > ü as in Greek)). This would mean h2 was unneeded, and even K > K^ by u in Arm. is not regular.
​
Just within Arm., the changes to K include k > k \ kh \ x \ *h > 0:
​
Arm. kayt ‘mark on marble’, xayt \ xayc ‘mark/spot’, Skt. keta-, ketú- ‘mark/sign’, TB kāy ‘mark’
​
OE sceolh ‘crooked’, G. skélos ‘leg’, skellós ‘crooked-legged’, Arm. šeł ‘slanting / crooked’, xeł ‘mutilated / lame’
​
Arm. sałim ‘be mistaken’, sxalim ‘be mistaken / stumble’, sxalak ‘drunken’, Skt. skhálati ‘stumble’,
​
G. skórodon / skórdon, Alb. hurdhë, Arm. xstor ‘garlic’
​
Arm. mxrčem ‘immerse/dip’, mkrtem ‘immerse/dip / bathe/baptize’
​
Skt. khād- ‘chew/bite/eat’, Arm. xacanem, kcanem ‘bite/sting’
​
Arm. ozni, MArm. xozni / kozni, G. ekhînos, Skt. jáhakā-, Brahui ǰaǰak, YAv. dužuka-, NP žūža ‘hedgehog’
(compare kh vs. *h > 0 in G. khḗr ‘hedgehog’, L. ēr )
​
Li. kárštas ‘hot’, Arm. xaršem ‘cook/burn’, Skt. kuṣāku- ‘burning’, *kurzd- > kūḍayāti, kuṇḍate ‘burn’
​
*skandlo- > L. pl. scālae ‘ladder / flight of steps’, *sxandułxo- > Arm. pl. sanduł-k` / sandux-k` ‘laddestairs’
​
G. khaláō ‘loosen/slacken’, Skt. khallate, Arm. xał ‘game/pastime’ (from ‘free / loose’ (compare L. laxus ))
​
Arm. ktł- ‘burning desire’, xtił ‘tickling/lust’
​
Skt. kartati ‘cut/slice’, Arm. ktrem ‘cut’, kotor \ ktor \ ktur-k’ ‘cut/share’, ktir-k’ ‘dowry’, hatu-ktir\kčir
​
*tetk^-? > t’ek’em ‘shape, bend, twist, weave’, t’akart’ ‘trap, snare, net’
​
*h2aukWtro-? > *akurt > MArm. akut’ ‘cookstove’, Van dia. angurt’ ‘portable clay oven’, *aukslo- > L. aulla ‘pot’
​
G. knḗthō ‘scratch/itch’, Arm. xaz ‘line (in hand) / scratch’
​
If x, kh, and k were regular and separate, why would so many words show both? This is not limited to PIE *k(h), even PIE h > h \ 0 \ x has no set order:
​
*h3od- ‘smell, stink, hate’ > L. oleō, odor, odī ‘I hate’, Arm. hot
​
*h3owi- > L. ovis ‘sheep’, Arm. hovi-, *+pah2- > hoviw ‘shepherd’
​
*h2awi- > L. avis, Arm. haw ‘bird / roostehen’, Moks xav
​
*h2awo- > L. avus ‘grandfather’, Arm. haw
​
*h2ak^o-sth2o- > G. akostḗ ‘barley’, Skt. apāṣṭhá- ‘barb of an arrow’, Arm. hawasti-k` ‘tassels of a belt’
​
*h2ak^-st(h2t)i- > Li. akstìs \ akštìs ‘kind of skewer’, Arm. hask -i- ‘ear of grain’, Van xašk
​
*h2ag^- > G. ágō ‘lead’, Arm. acem ‘bring/lead’
​
*h2arh2mon- > Li. armuõ ‘arable land’, Arm. haravun-k’ ‘arable land / plow-land’, K’łi harmunk' ‘plowable soil softened by spring rains’
​
*h1nek^-n- > Arm. hasanem ‘arrive at / reach / catch/take/get/gain’, Skt. naś-, L. nanciscor ‘get/reach/obtain’
​
? > Arm. xełd- \ hełj- ‘drown/suffocate/strangle’, hełjamłjuk ‘drowned/suffocated’, młjuk- ‘strangle’
​
*h3oid- > G. oîdos ‘swelling’, Oidí-pous, Arm. ayt -i- ‘cheek’, aytumn ‘swelling’, *xoyt’ > Łarabał xüt' ‘*swelling/*mound’ > ‘hillock’
​
This works best if h2 = x and most x > h, some retained. Dialects with x- for older h- are more conservative, not innovative. The intermediate s > š > x fit Pamir data for Iranian (sk > šk, other s > x) and sw- > *xw- > kh- in both. Slavic also shows some s > x with no apparent cause. This also matches s > *x > x \ h \ 0, p > *xW > x \ h \ 0, completely bereft of regularity:
​
*pewyo- > ogi \ hogi ‘soul/spirit’; *pew-ah2- > hewam ‘breathe heavily’
​
Skt. pṛthuka- ‘child / young of animal’, G. pórtax \ pórtis (f) ‘calf’, Arm. ort’ -u- ‘calf/fawn’, xort’ -o- ‘stepson/adulterine’, Muš. xort’ ‘young (man)’
​
Arm. ort’ ‘grapevine’, G. pórthos ‘shoot’
​
*samhǝdho- > E. sand, G. ámathos, Arm. awaz, L. sabulum
​
*kWyeh1-sk^e\o- > L. quiēscō ‘rest’, *sm- > Arm. hangč’im ‘rest’, Muš hang‘ ‘rest/breath’, Moks xangY
​
? > Arm. boyl -i- ‘group (of people/deeetc)’, hoyl -i- ‘group of animals/people’, xoyl -i- ‘swelling/tumogland’, bołǰ ‘swelling/tumowound’
​
Since *h at the start can remain as x, x within words shoud have the same explanation. This includes kanxem above (both k and x odd), and many in https://www.reddit.com/etymology/comments/w04cuz/importance_of_armenian_retention_of_h123/
​
​
For PIE *w, a stage with w > GW (G = voiced velar fricative) makes sense (see Hrach Martirosyan). This also shows w > g / kh / x / v / 0 with no cause; it is likely that there was optional *G / *x then optional *x > kh. This is seen by supposed original *gWh = *GW > *x > kh in the other direction. This *x is retained in many examples, often with alternation:
​
*widk^mt- > *GWic^amt- > *xis^anD- > k’san ’20’
​
*gWhen- > G. eu-thenḗs ‘in abundance / wealth’, Arm. yo-gn / yo-k’’n ‘numerous/abundant’
​
*wergY- > TA wärk-, TB wark- ‘shear’, Arm. gercem ‘shave / make bald’, k’ercem ‘shave / peel / strip off’
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*Gony- > xonǰim ‘be tired/exhausted’, *yoGn- > yognim / yok’nim ‘be(come) tired/exhausted/discouraged’
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*proh3-gWhen- ‘very abundant/large/great’ > G. parthénos ‘virgin’, Arm. aṙa-k’ini ‘valiant/courageous/virtuous/honest’
​
*GorGuD / *xoruxD > xoroxt / xroxt ‘haughty/proud’, goṙoz ‘proud/arrogant’, goṙ ‘shout/fierce/bold/haughty/warlike’
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*wel > G. hélix ‘object with spiral shape’, Arm. xec’ ‘pot / shell (of mollusks)’, xec’ \ hec’ ‘felloe’
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*widhw- ‘(arms) apart / tree’ > *GüDG- > *gu(r)g- / *gi(r)k(h)- > Arm. girk-k’ ‘tree’, girk ‘arms/lap/bosom’, gog ‘lap/bosom’, *gurg ‘embrace’, girg ‘tendedelicate/soft’, ołǰ-a-gurem ‘greet / embrace’, gurgurel ‘cuddle/caress’
​
and even Iran. loans seem to show a stage with GW and optional GW > v or GW > gh:
​
*g^hew- > jagar ‘funnel’, *javar >> Gr. jabri
​
*g^wah2lo-, *dz^walanō > Skt. jválana-s ‘fire’, Balochi jal ‘hot ashes / charcoal’, ? >> *azgal > Arm. gazał \ gazax ‘ashes/embers’
​
Arm. is also known for having odd changes to *r like Arm. kēt ‘biting fly’, kret ‘wasp’; *akurt > MArm. akut’, Van dia. angurt’ (above) among many others https://www.reddit.com/etymology/comments/zkgi2m/latin_pr%C4%93x_request_armenian_a%C5%82ersank_a%C5%82a%C4%8Dank/ . The simplest reason for some r > 0 is a uvular pronunciation R, common in many languages. If R became a fricative, as in French, it might merge with PIE h1, h2, h3 and disappear. The Dardic languages might show traces of this R, with r > x \ h in Kh. (or indirectly, with Rt > xt > th): Skt. vṛtra- ‘stone’, *vart(r)a- > Rom. barr, Kh. boxt \ boht \ bohrt ‘rock/stone’, Ks. bath, Ti. baṭ(h) ‘large rock’, Dm. bāṭ , Dv. wāt'
​
If this *R is already needed for *r, including *k > *q to help make sense of IE optional treatments of K could work. PIE h1, h2, h3 and R sometimes disappeared; any uvular fricative to 0 would thus cover both. Pamir languages also show irregular K > Q, and their location relatively near Dardic, showing traces of the same, could explain that those on the fringes of IE territory shared this retention. This is not regular, yet orderly, fitting, and in step with common features seen around the world. It also allows many irregular changes to velar C’s to merge into one kind of optionality: K vs. Q. Even if this is not the exact cause, trying to understand broad changes by broad rules is better than coming up with an odd explanation for each oddity.
​
Alb Albanian
Arm Armenian
Aro Aromanian
Asm Assamese
Av Avestan
Bal Baluchi
Be Bengali
Bg Bulgarian
Bu Burushaski
E English
EArm Eastern Armenian
G Greek
Go Gothic
H Hittite
Hi Hindi
Is Ishkashimi
It Italian
K Kassite
Kd Kurdish
Kho Khotanese
Khw Khwarezmian
Ku Kusunda
L Latin
Li Lithuanian
Lt Latvian
M Mitanni
Mh Marathi
MArm Middle Armenian
MW Middle Welsh
NHG New High German
MHG Middle High German
OHG Old High German
OBg Old Bulgarian
OBr Old Breton
OIc Old Icelandic
OIr Old Irish
OE Old English
ON Old Norse
OPr Old Prussian
OP Old Persian
MP Middle Persian
NP (New) Persian (Farsi)
Nw Norwegian
Os Ossetian
Phr Phrygian
Ps Pashto
R Russian
Ru Romanian\Rumanian
Sar Sarikoli
Shu Shughni
Skt Sanskrit
Sog Sogdian
TA Tocharian A
TB Tocharian B
W Welsh
Wx Wakhi
​
Gy Gypsy
Dv Domari \ Do:mva:ri:
Lv Lomavren
Rom Romani
​
Dardic Group
A Atshareetaá \ (older Palola < *Paaloolaá)
B Bangani
Ba bHaṭé-sa zíb \ Bhaṭeri
D Degaanó \ Degano
Dk Domaaki \ Domaá \ D.umaki
Dm Dameli
Gi Gultari
Id Indus Kohistani
Ka Kalam Kohistani \ Kalami \ Gawri \ Bashkarik
Kati
Kh Khowàr
Km Kashmiri
Ks Kalasha
KS Kundal Shahi
Kt ktívi kâtá vari
Kv Kâmvíri
Pl Paaluulaá
Pr Prasun
Ni Nišei-alâ
Np Nepali
Sa Saňu-vīri
Sh Shina
Ti Torwali
Wg Waigali \ Kalas.a-alâ

11/1/2022
After being accused of squirreling away money last night, today I took out $400 out of my checking account and deposited it in our joint account. I also changed my direct deposit to put $100 into my account and the balance into our joint account. This left me with $60 to my sole name. I told my wife what I did. When she got home she didn't say anything. I had already cooked supper (in the oven) by the time they made it inside. When ochild asked what we were having and I told him (made from scratch chicken pot pie) he said he didn't like it and my wife said to him “I feel your pain.” It hurt. I cannot help but think what would have been had I said something similar to what she cooked (if she ever cooks again.) Children fell asleep shortly after supper. Wife spent the evening on her computer and phone (tik tok) while I did 2 loads of laundry right in front of her. She eventually left to go take a bath. It really doesn't feel very good to be completely unappreciated.
11/5/2022
Today we decided to clean the house.My wife spent literally the entire day cleaning ochilds room and didn't even finish because we went and unexpectedly visited my cousin. In the same amount of time. I cleaned the living room including the walls and vacuumed, swept and mopped the kitchen, hallways, doorway,and bathroom. Cleaned the bathroom and toilet, cleaned the washedryer area (absolutely disgusting) and cooked supper. While doing all of this my wife said something along the lines of it takes her so long because she deep cleans, implying I only superficially clean. I would rather have a superficially clean looking house than an obviously trashy, cluttered, disgusting house because she never has time to deep clean. I tried to put the kids to bed at 10:30 and they fought and argued. I eventually got them down but my wife was saying that they are allowed to stay up late on the weekends. Ridiculous that 10:30 is too early to put the kids to bed on a weekend.
11/6/2022
I woke up this morning after the time change and thought we were already late for church so I decided to make banana bread. Turns out I forgot about the time change and I had to stay home to make sure it didn't burn. After my wife got back home we decided to continue cleaning the house. My wife once again spent the rest of the day cleaning ochilds room. While I did the dishes and then completely cleaned the fronts of all the cabinets (disgusting caked on things) and cleaned inside out the fridge. I also did 4 loads of laundry later in front of the kids watching a movie and my wife while she was working on her computer. Wife actually said thank you for helping. Wasn't wanting a thank you. I just want her to stop saying I never help.
11/7/2022
After all the cleaning this weekend I woke up to a busy wife. She eventually got upset because I did the dishes but didn't wash her coffee cup that was sitting in the middle of the cluttered table where she put it and not in the sink. After work we ate at Sonic on the way to scouts. I made the kids go to bed at a decent hour but they refused to stay in bed. I eventually went to bed a little early and heard the kids bother their mother. I have no authority to make them go to bed because I cannot overrule their mommy like she can me.
11/8/2022
I tried to wake the kids up. I was not mean. Ochild kept crying that he wanted his mom to come wake him up. I told him she was busy but he insisted. She came in while i was dressing ychild. She got hm dressed and he went back to sleep while I brushed ychilds teeth and combed her hair. I caught ochild back in bed and told him to go brush his teeth. He got mad and started stomping his feet and slamming doors on his way to the bathroom. My wife,as usual,asked me what I had done. She just assumes that I piss off the kids on purpose, not that their lack of discipline is responsible for their poor behavior when I have done nothing wrong.
11/10/2022
Day started off not too terrible. My wife and kids came home a little late because they stopped at Walmart on the way home. The kids came in carrying sonic ice cream and “I mentioned oh nothing for me?” Wife looked annoyed that I said that and I said I was surprised she did that right before supper because now they aren't going to be hungry. We had leftovers a little while later when ychild said she was hungry, so I let her choose what dish she wanted to eat. She chose chicken enchilada casserole. I made it for her and let her sit on the couch while I made mine. When I came into the living room she was sitting next to my wife with the bowl on the couch and her phone on her lap. We have a rule that the bowl must be in her lap to reduce messiness because she is inattentive. I made her put her phone next to her and eat her food from the bowl in her lap. She started crying (I wasn't being mean) and I could tell my wife was getting annoyed because I made her cry (she hears crying all day long and doesn't want to hear it when she gets home.) She continued to cry and the wife went to the bathroom. I kept trying to convince her to eat and she was being difficult and wouldn't talk to me barely. I discovered that she didn't want to eat the green chiles so I moved them to the side of the bowl so she could eat the rest. She started screaming that she wanted mommy to do it. I told her mommy was in the bathroom and asked her again why she didn't want to eat. I eventually told her that if she didn't eat I was going to clean off a section of the table and she would eat in the kitchen with me. She still wouldn't stop crying or eat and I took her to the kitchen. The wife eventually came out of the bathroom and asked what all the commotion was and why was I getting on to ychild. When she saw her mother come into the kitchen she fell backwards out of the chair and hit the floor. The wife started berating me that ychild would not eat so long as she is crying and kept talking down to me about trying to take care of the situation. She said I shouldn’t have kept talking to her and just let her cry. Once again she has countermanded me in front of the children. I believe this is why ychild started crying so that mommy would get onto daddy and she would her her way. I eventually left the room because I couldn't stand her about me like that. Eventually they make it back into the living room. A few minutes later I noticed the dog was eating the food leftover from her bowl. I asked how she ate and my wife answered more than half and was upset that I asked. About 30 minutes later ychild said she was hungry again and my wife made her spaghettios. I dont think this is a good lesson to teach ychild. That she can just cry to get her way and then later eat whatever she wants.
11/11/2022
Today is veterans day and I had the day off work. I woke up to help get the kids ready. My wife said she was surprised I was up. I felt I had to because in the past she would always complain if on a day off I slept in. I heard her complain that her clothes were always put in a pile and were wrinkled. I stopped putting up her laundry a long time ago. I am still the only one that puts up laundry 9 out of 10 times. This is just proof of the pudding that she doesn't even put up her own laundry let alone help out with the household laundry. This is after watching me put up 4 loads of laundry in front of her the previous weekend. After she got home from work she asked me what I had done all day. This is something she used to do all the time when she worked a 9-5 job and I worked 4-10s having an extra day off a week. She used to demand that I spent my extra day cleaning the house and doing chores. This is despite the fact that we both still worked 40 hours a week, mine was just convenient in that I had more consecutive time off. She used to always say that if she had that much time off the house would be spotless. Then when she got layed off or got the summer off once she became a teacher nothing would be done, much less housework.
11/12/22
My wife spent all morning taking a test for school and then went and spent the day volunteering for a local church woman to sit with her while her husband was gone due to her just having had given birth. I had the kids all day to myself with minimal fussing and did the dishes and cooked supper. They started to fuss once she came back home. yChild began to uncontrollably cry and scream over some issue after I went to bed. I have learned from experience not to try and parent at night when my wife is in control from the number of times I've been snapped at that she is taking care of it, so I stayed in bed. She ended up calling her sister to deal with her and I heard her ask where I was and my wife gave her a sarcastic response about me being in bed. She later got the kids in bed with much fussing and came home back into the bedroom to change and bitched me out for not coming in there to help. It's another case of damned if you do and damned if you don't.
11/13
My wife spent the morning again taking a test. I got the kids up and dressed and fed. She then came home from the test, ate lunch, and headed back to her school at around 11:30. Ychild wanted to go with her. I spent all day with my son watching our favorite anime. It was a fun day. I also did 3 loads of laundry and cooked supper for us. My wife and ychild did not get home till 11:00 pm and ychild has surgery tomorrow.
11/14
Ychild’s surgery went well. No issues other than a lethargic child.
11/15
ychild refuses to take her pain medicine from the surgery. My wife suggested she take the medicine with her and get her to take it while waiting for school to start. ychild ended up staying in my wifes classroom all day sleeping and developed a rash where the tube was put in. I stayed a little later than I normally would and got home around 4:45. My wife was already home and I walked into the kitchen and saw that the dishes were done. I had told my wife I would do them later today. I talked to her and asked her how long she had been home to already have done the dishes cause she usually gets home after 5. She told me it only took 15 minutes to do the dishes and she didn't understand why it takes me hours(it doesn't take me that long.). I then realized that what I thought was a nice gesture was just another way for her to put me down. Later she started telling me about ychild’s day and started to talk about how she should have stayed home. She started to berate me for not taking the day off and staying with her. I told her we had talked about it but had decided to try for school anyway. I guess I am supposed to overrule her, that will never happen, or volunteer to stay instead of having a healthy discussion and decision, she just blames me for everything that ends up not going the way she decides.
11/16/22
I worked from home today to stay with ychild.
11/23/22
It's my birthday today. Heard from some family and friends. Arrived at inlaws house for Thanksgiving. I decided to, without being asked, help trim trees and clean up the pasture. Mil and fil praised me in front of my wife, that wasn't my intention.
11/24/22
Thanksgiving day. My wife has made several comments today about me sitting around not doing anything. It has rained the whole day and there is literally nothing for me to do. We were watching McClintock today. It came to the end where John Wayne spanked his wife and my wife asked if they really did that back then. I commented probably not they most likely did a lot worse, she made a comment about being sure because I lived back then. Once again I forgot to just keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself.
11/26/22
It's official. One year without sex. Today we drive back home from the in-laws. Today has been a constant barrage of bs from my wife. Fortunately my in-laws heard some of it. My SIL told me she was sorry.
Next Entry Dec 2022

Hi!
So, I've sent this idea to HBO a few months ago but I still haven't got any answers and I'm dying to know if it's good enough.
if you guys could help me out and give me a reply I would be very thankful !!
ps. I wrote it a long time ago and since I'm not a native speaker the english might not be so good.
Down the Rabbit- Hole
I went to the store this morning at basically,4 a.m. to receive some of the things Brian ordered for the stock. He asked if I was ok with it since it was the meat that wouuld arrive and I contradicted him saying I was fine. I guess I was just trying to train the not barfing routine.
- hi, are you the responsible around here ?
Alice: yes, pretty much. Good morning I’m the owner !
- ok, great I’m here to drop some steaks, chicken,pork..
It’s okay, it’s not for you, you’ll sooner have to learn how to cook these
- lamb,fish and these rabbits I killed yesterday
Alice: rabbits ?
- yes, there’s something wrong ?
Alice: I don’t remember asking for rabbits
- I think that was your husband ? isn’t he the actual owner ?
Alice: yes, but you can...can take the rabbit with you, I’m not paying for it
- what do you mean, you’re not paying for it ? I went in the middle of the night just to hunt these
Alice: well, I didn’t ask you to hunt them, you did it because you wante...
- I did it because my client asked me to, why are you even complaing if you’re not part of the business ? don’t you like rabbits ?
Alice: no, I don’t eat rabbits.
- why not ? it’s delicious !
Alice: do you think so ?
- yes,those are my favorite !
Alice: ok, then you can bring them inside. It happens you’re the only one around and I’m a helpless woman
- alright then, you should try one of these beasts sometime
Alice: uhum, just around here, you can just put them inside the freezer
- did you turn it on already ?
Alice: doing it
I think nervousism was the last thing that went through my mind that time. After turning it on and going straight to the kitchen, I made sure to hide it from him on the way back. He was a big guy, hunter aesthetic. Hard to kill, in a fighting mode at least. So I just waited for him to low down to pick up the fucking rabbit to deeply slither that sharp knife through his neck. No words, just blood. I didn’t even have a regret face after doing it. One thing to be said, he was just heavy. A dead weight,literally. Had to cut him in pieces on the ground.
After it, after turning every single particle he had into ready to pack meat, I brought the rest inside and made sure no one was going to miss that big burden. Found out he was just a cheap hunter, no wife, no kids. Basically a stranger in town. I drove his truck back to his house, and found my place to burn a big chunck of clothes and documents.
I don’t care what people may think, the supermarket opens this afternoon and people will be randomly selected between who eats big boy Jack and who eats the delicious cow.
*phone ringing
Call on
Alice: bello ?
Brian: hi, how is things up there ? everything alright ?
Alice: yeah, of course. I’m just hungry
Brian: you didn’t had any breakfast ?
Alice: not yet, no
Brian: ok, I think I can bring you some.
Alice: thanks,uhm. Brian, that guy you... hired, who is that ?
Brian: he was just inside the list I got, why is everything ok ? you, or maybe the delivery, did he mess up the delivery ?
Alice: no, no is just...he brought, he brought rabbits.
Brian: I’m so sorry, I forgot about that. You can just toss it away I think
Alice: it’s ok, I don’t mind it,Thanks, is everything ok in there ?
Brian:..my..mom is here
Alice: why ?
Brian: she’s waiting for you, asking why you haven’t done breakfast for me
Alice: well, tell her I’m busy
Brian: already taking refuge in the kitchen, I’m serious I should’ve received it today
Alice: believe me, you shouldn’t ( sighs) I’m coming.
Brian: ok,bye.
Alice: bye...
Call off
Alice: let’s hope you’re delicious. blurgh, disguting
Telling Karen I was at work was quite of a challenge. Telling Karen I’ve just killed a man was acceptable. It should mean that if I was able to kill him I can easily kill her. I swear to god that woman is everything wrong in america, and bold of you to think she even knows where that is.
Karen: finally, now could this be any more of an absurd ?
Alice: we’ve finally agreed on something!
Karen: I hope that means you won’t leave this house again,
Alice: I’m sorry I thought we were talking about your intrusions
Karen: intrusions ?! I was talking about you being a bad-mannered wife, this is my son’s house!
Alice: and mine as well
Karen: you don’t own anything !
Brian: this is so nice.
Alice: I remember someone saying of us sharing goods in our wedding day...am I contradicting the truth perhaps ?
Karen:... you are a bad person. And within these prospects you’ll become a bad mother. You ought to learn how to respect and love your husband so that you’ll do the same with your baby!
Brian: mom! That’s quite enough. You shouldn’t even be here.
Alice: love and respect only work in a relationship when they are reciprocate. And basically anywhere else. I respect your son in the same way I want to be respected. Could you please leave ? you‘re poluting the air.
Karen: brian.
Brian: mom, go.
Demon who walks on earth. Could you retire yourself from this house ?
Brian: I’m making breakfast. Help yourself with Eggs and toast, is the only thing i know how to do
Alice: I could teach you some things.
Brian: I have to say that’d be quite exciting!
After it all,I’m happy I married him, but still I don’t want to become all american! I’m better than that, we both are.
June, 18th was the day the supermarket opened, me and Brian woke up at severaly early ,even though he was the one going to open the place. I otherwise, woke up because of his mother...beloved woman. As a celebration of ‘him starting a business’ , her words, I’m supposed to prove myself ‘worthy’ of cooking with her techniques and recipes.....it really doesn’t make so much sense to me, but it’s a way of staying away from it for the morning, that really brought out some real sickness within me, in which was..misunderstood as a ‘promising pregnancy’.......so I couldn’t be luckier ! he’s still worried with it though,I’m worried I might’ve ruined our business before it even started.
I was ‘trained’ for chicken, fortunately, so to have his help on it we decided it’d be best for me to cook it at the supermarket kitchen, I at least made sure to pick it myself, being the only one there who knows how to differenciate it.
And believe me, it sold like wonder ! people from all around the city must’ve had their plans for lunch and their barbecues prepared this morning, the mother of the family goes with her children ot buy the groceries, within a fine piece of meat, steak or a dozen hamburguers and sausages made of whatever, I remenber those days clearly. I always the same thing the family sits around the big rectangle table with the dad at the end, the patriarch. The children play at the pool with a smile from side to side while their mother is inside preparing lunch and the outside table and their dad is cooking the sausages and burguers for the big thing. Starving wolves, really, waiting for the delicious meals to come to their mouths, they don’t even care it’s full of poison it’s a comfortable food for them, it brings out the felling that everything is going to be ok. Everything is going to end well, poor poeple they barely know they’ve put themselves inside a vicious cycle of wanting for more. The biggest, most infectious cycle. I know that if they like what they taste, they’ll grow used to it until there’s nothing left. It’s a true gain for us, they’ll fulfill our lives with money in exchange for more, but they won’t get it. They’ll starve for it and oblige me to go get it. Choose some other victim.
The lucky ones today,buying this delicious delight of meat, will become what I mostly fear. Cannibals. But, as you know, they’ll grow around it without even realizing. I otherwise won’t. I’ll become the mother, going out every night to get some food to feed the little monsters she created,only to protect those she loves so dearly.
It’s mostly not my fault you know ? americans are like that, they love what they can’t refuse. They’re starving already I’m just feeding them. The thing is, what I feared happened.
They didn’t like it.
They loved it.
the story goes around the starting of the 1950's btw.

https://www.culina-vetus.de/2023/05/31/chicken-in-a-glass/
The Innsbruck MS also contains the following recipe:
101 If you would make a boiled chicken in a glass, pluck the chicken and take off its skin. Leave on the feet and the neck, and chop the rest of the meat and season it. Pus the feet into the glass one after another and then fill in the meat by the neck above. Set the glass by the coals, thus it boils. But you must sew the skin shut before you put it into the glass etc.
Clearlky this belongs to a class of recipes that illustrate the joy medieval cooks found in playing with food. Neither is it a solitary. We find a more detailed description in Meister Hans:
Recipe #230 Von aimen gannczen huon ganncz und gar in ainem Anngster
Of a whole chicken entirely inside a narrow-necked bottle
Item how you should put a chicken entirely inside a narrow-necked glass bottle. Take and scald the chicken but not too much (verprüe das nicht) so that its skin remains whole. Take it and remove its skin and blow into the skin and where it is broken and has a hole, sew it shut again. And take the meat and boil it, and when it has boiled enough, chop it small mixed together with sage and parsley.
Take a blunt (piece of) wood and thrust the skin into the glass jar or narrow-necked bottle and blow up the skin inside the glass vessel, and put the filling into the glass vessel in it (into the skin). As you put the skin in (to the glass), leave the neck sticking out and tie it shut well and attach it over the glass vessel (tuck it under the rim?) so that no steam or water may enter it. When you pull off the skin all the way to the feet, you must cut off a little there.
So do all that is written above, and set it in a pot so that the water stands above the chicken and the glass the depth of a finger across (a finger’s breadth), and let it boil. Thus it hardens so that one sees an entire chicken inside the glass vessel, and then serve it.
The recipe collection ascribed to Meister Eberhard also includes a fragment of a recipe (#16) that looks very similar:
…pot and pour water to it and cover it and let it boil, so it will stretch inside the glass jar, so that you can see its foot and wing and the whole body. That way it is well done.
This method of cooking and serving chickens seems to have been fam,iliar ernough in the later fifteenth century to inspire a simulation that, as far as I can see, dispenses with the need for actual glassware and thus the risk of destroying something expensive. The Mittelniederdeutsches Kochbuch instructs:
28 Item if you would make entire chickens in a glass, have earthen glasses (glazed pots) made in the shape of a klucglaze (a narrow-necked drinking glass, also known as an angster or engster), two fingers wide at the top. Take young chickens. Make then ready properly as young chickens you intend to fill. Cut them open at the neck, not in front, (but ?) where their wings are. Take out the meat and the bones there so that the skin stays whole. Cook the meat until done. Take out the bones.
Make a good filling from the meat of raisins and of eggs and bacon and spices. Close up the skin again where you took out the meat as skilfully as you can, with a piece of thread or with a skewer. And the forward limb shall stay (attached) to the skin and the feet. (leave the wings, lower legs and feet on). Bring the skin back (probably misplaced here) into the glazed vessel. Fill the filling back into the skin to the mouth of the container, and do not overfill it. Set it in a cookpot and let it boil (so) that no water enters into the container. When you think that it is done, take the whites of eggs. Colour it yellow or green, as you will. Pour (swirl) it around, back and forth, that which is in the glass. Set it in a cookpot so that no water comes into it. When it is done, break apart the earthen glass (glazed container) and serve it. And serve ginger and wine with it for a sauce (sot).
It seems as though the idea here was to simulate the appearance of a chicken in a glass jar, but to serve it without the surrounding container. Since the only practical way to eat it seems to be breaking the glass, that makes sense as an economy measure, but it would only work if the diners were familiar enough with the idea to understand what they were seeing as a simulation of the real thing.
The enduring popularity of this little conceit is demonstrated by its recurrence in the 1550s in the recipe collection of Sabina Welser (#2). Interestingly, while there is a clear idea of the look you want, there is no real agreement on what it is to taste like. The Innsbruck MS just says to season the meat. Sabina Welser’s recipe instructs the cook to add egg, spices, and saffron. The Mittelniederdeutsches Kochbuch has bacon and raisins, much as it does in its boneless chicken. Meister Hans, interestingly, goes with sage and parsley, which could be quite attractive and modern. It is impossible to ascribe any of these recipes the title of an ‘original’ from which another derives. Very likely this is a tradition that focuses on the visual effect – a glass jar visibly containing a cooked chicken with the neck and head sticking out – and considers the actual flavour secondary.
The shape of the glass jar is an open question. An angster, kuttrolf, or klucglas) today describes a very complex kind of bottle with a narrow and twisted neck designed to produce audible gurgling when wine was poured out. It is highly unlikely this is what the recipes mean. More likely, we are talking about a narrow-necked bottle or jar, probably made of fairly thick and impure Waldglas as was most regular glassware in fifteenth-century Germany.
The Innsbrucker Rezeptbuch is a manuscript recipe collection from a South German/Austrian context. It dates to the mid-fifteenth century and survives as part of a set of medical and culinary texts bound together. The editor Doris Aichholzer published it together with two related manuscripts and drew attention to the less elaborate, more practical recipes. The manuscript is of unknown provenance, but has been owned by the Habsburg emperors since at least the early sixteenth century. It is now held at the Nationalbibliothek in Vienna. An edition, German translation and commentary can be found in Doris Aichholzer: Wildu machen ayn guet essen… Drei mittelhochdeutsche Kochbücher, Peter Lang Verlag Berne et al. 1999

A human egg has approximately the same density as water. The diameter of a human egg is .12mm, yielding a volume of 0.0009 cubic mm.
This yields a mass of 0.0009 mg.
This omelet recipe calls for two medium (chicken) eggs, each weighing an average of 1.7 ounces.
3.4 ounces of human eggs? 107,098,198.
Last year, there were 18,000 egg donations in the United States. You're going to blow this market the fuck up, and when you kick the demand curve into the log scale, we need to figure out a new equilibrium price.
This is hard because the egg market is heavily regulated. The American Society for Reproductive Medicine caps compensation to donors at $10,000; the average is around $8,000. Black market prices in China and rumors of sale by in-demand donors suggest a fair price right now at around $20,000.
In the year 2000, there were roughly 10,000 pregnancies from donated eggs - and the capped price then was still $10,000, with much less of a black market. This suggests a few things. First, there is a backlog of frozen eggs. Second, price roughly doubles with each doubling in demand.
The announcement of your project is going to screw all of that up. First, you're going to face a serious goverment crackdown. You can safely assume a few laws and regulations are going to be rewritten once it's obvious you've got real money on the line. Let's say through some miracle you get the sale of human tissue completely deregulated. Egg donation is still painful and time-consuming and 30 percent of egg donors face health issues and complications. This is why you're never going to get them cheap. Even if The Omelet Project expands overseas, you're going to face regulators, customs agents, problems with refrigeration, just a shitload of further headaches. So I'm going to set a worldwide price at the US baseline, because you're not going to save a lot even by harvesting every egg in South Sudan.
You've increased demand by 5,950 times. People are not going to stop wanting donor eggs for their own non-omelet reasons, and a lot of donors are going to prioritize them. You're not touching that base. So you'll have to pay through the nose for every extra egg. The first 20,000? Sure, you can probably nab those for $20,000 each. After Year One, you're 1/5950 of the way there. But each egg after will cost you extra, and you want to eat this before 7350 AD. So here goes the demand curve. Double the demand, double the price, repeated 5,949 times.
That yields 2.69 × 101795, or about fifteen gazillion dollars for every atom in the universe. That ain't happening. I'm going to be nice to you and cap average cost per egg at $1 million, probably because you don't have this much money and power unless you own several governments, or more probably you've made your trillions mining asteroids and you could just flip a switch and drop an extinction-level motherfucker on anyone who pisses you off.
You won't have to spend nearly as much on maintenance or medical costs, since you're just dumping these eggs into a skillet, but you will spend on the extraction, and everyone involved is going to charge you out the wazoo - plus you'll have the reproductive medicine community running serious fucking overtime. So you get charged $50,000 per egg extraction and storage.
I'm going to add a one-time $10,000 charge because why the fuck would you make this omelet with some store-bought shit? No, we're throwing in organic greens and the finest monk-crafted sea salt and pepper from a plant that an Indonesian village sang to every morning and we're paying Anthony Bourdain (hey iamAnthonyBourdain) to come in and make this fucker. You know what? You're renting Le Bernardin for the morning too, and you're paying $1,000 for some top-flight champagne for your mimosa. THE BRUNCH OF THE AGES.
Payment to egg donors: 107,098,198 @ $1 million
Egg extraction/storage: 107,098,198 @ $50,000
Ingredients and preparation: $10,000
Le Bernardin: $100,000, because they don't like closing for private events and this is actually pretty gross
Mimosa: $1,000 plus $100 corkage fee
TOTAL COST: $112.4 trillion
The total wealth of the world is estimated at $280 trillion, so even as you eat The Omelet, the world will be collapsing into chaos around you. Women in the Third World will have been murdered for their ovaries. North Korea will probably set up menstruation camps to harvest trillions from you. As millions of women around the world gain riches, they will struggle for control of it with their husbands. There will be beatings, and murders, and social revolution as you transfer vast power to the disempowered. The sudden flood of money will create hyperinflation, crushing anyone on a fixed income. Banks, flooded with cash, will make terrible investments. A crash will come that will make the Great Depression look like a sophomore hangover. You have harvested a generation, but the world will reap the misery you have sown.