Why dont people like ty gibbs
Skin care for people over 30
2015.03.03 20:26 kittydentures Skin care for people over 30
Skin care is a pretty big deal, and we love subs like /SkinCareAddiction, however we felt there needed to be a sub that deals specifically with skin that's over 30. Share your questions, frustrations and triumphs!
2015.04.26 02:50 Sedorner Behold, the Master Race
Supremacists of any shade displaying their supremacy and then the mockery of them. Hail Hortler!
2012.06.07 00:14 Billobatch Learn Useless Talents
This is a place to learn how to do cool things that have no use other than killing time and impressing strangers.
2023.05.30 09:38 Acerhand Does this marriage sound sustainable?
We both work from home, no kids, just a large dog breed(my wifes dog). My wife has stable job with high income. i have to build a new career as i moved countries to be here and my old career doesnt have opportunities. i'm self learning the ropes of something new most of the day which is hard work itself, while engaging in a side business to bring in some money. i also do basically all the chores, inducing cooking diner for my wife(she was whining really bad about buying ingredients and thinking what to ea and cooking).
The only thing she does is walk her dog(except when she has to go to office sometimes and i have to), and throw away its shit(constantly tries getting me into the habit of doing it though). i do basically everything else. keep stables stocked, buy ingredients, all laundry, vacuum, washing floor and just about anything else really. all this in addition to re-training and working out 5x a week. The one time i went home for a month to see family, the home was just disgusting when i came back as my wife did nothing basically.
My wife also drags me to shops and places to get my help to buy anything basically which is a time drain.
Now i CAN balance most of this, even if it can be difficult and i don't get nearly as much work done as i want to often, HOWEVER what is really getting to me is that my wife is always trying to tell me how to do shit that im doing for her. being picky with the way i cook something(because its less time consuming and just as good the way i do it). demanding I only dry her clothes a certain way. There are lots of things like this which if i do just leave me with no fucking time at all to do my work - which then will result in probably anger from her down the line at slow progress. Which will probably make me explode and do something like leave.
Even on my hobby of gardening she just completely got involved despite having no really experience and tries to get me to do things differently(like over feeding), or doing labour intensive stuff because "it helps" - which i dont have the time for and its just exhausting me.
Any time i mention why i dont do it her way, while she shows me for the nth time she gets really angry and upset and calls me mean and shit... i really have run out of patience and feel like im sliding in to despondency. I suggest she can do this aspect of something if she is particular and it results in rage from her. All the while she does basically nothing. leaves dishes in the sink at best, and just a mess for me to clean up around. when i mention how i have a lot to do, she just harps off about how she walks her dog as if we are even...
tl;dr: IDK what to do with my wifes demands and micromanging how i basically handle everything for her while trying to work. now, cause im feeling either like just leaving to go back home for a while, or becoming absolutely despondent about my situation.
submitted by Acerhand to marriageadvice [link] [comments]
The only thing she does is walk her dog(except when she has to go to office sometimes and i have to), and throw away its shit(constantly tries getting me into the habit of doing it though). i do basically everything else. keep stables stocked, buy ingredients, all laundry, vacuum, washing floor and just about anything else really. all this in addition to re-training and working out 5x a week. The one time i went home for a month to see family, the home was just disgusting when i came back as my wife did nothing basically.
My wife also drags me to shops and places to get my help to buy anything basically which is a time drain.
Now i CAN balance most of this, even if it can be difficult and i don't get nearly as much work done as i want to often, HOWEVER what is really getting to me is that my wife is always trying to tell me how to do shit that im doing for her. being picky with the way i cook something(because its less time consuming and just as good the way i do it). demanding I only dry her clothes a certain way. There are lots of things like this which if i do just leave me with no fucking time at all to do my work - which then will result in probably anger from her down the line at slow progress. Which will probably make me explode and do something like leave.
Even on my hobby of gardening she just completely got involved despite having no really experience and tries to get me to do things differently(like over feeding), or doing labour intensive stuff because "it helps" - which i dont have the time for and its just exhausting me.
Any time i mention why i dont do it her way, while she shows me for the nth time she gets really angry and upset and calls me mean and shit... i really have run out of patience and feel like im sliding in to despondency. I suggest she can do this aspect of something if she is particular and it results in rage from her. All the while she does basically nothing. leaves dishes in the sink at best, and just a mess for me to clean up around. when i mention how i have a lot to do, she just harps off about how she walks her dog as if we are even...
tl;dr: IDK what to do with my wifes demands and micromanging how i basically handle everything for her while trying to work. now, cause im feeling either like just leaving to go back home for a while, or becoming absolutely despondent about my situation.
2023.05.30 09:38 DefinitelyNotSmurf An office environment where nobody talks to each other? What do I do?
I started a new job a few months ago, which has the option for work from home and working in the office.
During my interview they talked about how they really wanted someone who would come to the office. I lived 2 hours away at the time of interview, and I planned to move to the Capital City the office is in but I really didn't like the areas there when I went for viewings, so I went for a commuter town 1 hour away instead. The trains aren't cheap, I have no car, and it is 2 hours journey in total if I do go in, but I was really fine with the commute time and cost.
The thing is, when I go to the office, nobody talks - not just not to me but to anyone. The office is silent all day, people just put their headphones on and listen to Spotify. That's fine for those who live local and walk in but it seems really pointless for me to travel in just to listen to Spotify which I could do at home.
Also, when I get feedback on my work instead of talking to me they just write comments on Word or type to me over Teams, despite sitting right next to me.. It just feels really unmotivating to go in to be treated as if I was home anyway.
Someone else in my team is a fully remote worker so even if I am in the office for meetings, we join on Teams regardless.
And finally, when I walk to work in that city even at 9am, each time I have been catcalled or shouted at by men. A group even started walking after me shouting hello and excuse me. I don't even feel safe walking in and I don't have any friendly coworker to talk to about it.
I get paid 10,000 USD less than the average national salary for the job position, and I'm not entirely sure if it's because I'm an immigrant or not. I have a BSc (Hons) and an MA and 5 years of work experience. I don't mind the job when it's work from home, but going to the office for the time and money it costs to get no social benefit and just feel alone and depressed is really weighing on my mind.
Should I ask the employer to work fully remote? Or go in once/twice a month? I feel like they would be angry since they said in the interview how they wanted someone in the office but I didn't know how bad the office environment was for me until after I started.
submitted by DefinitelyNotSmurf to antiwork [link] [comments]
During my interview they talked about how they really wanted someone who would come to the office. I lived 2 hours away at the time of interview, and I planned to move to the Capital City the office is in but I really didn't like the areas there when I went for viewings, so I went for a commuter town 1 hour away instead. The trains aren't cheap, I have no car, and it is 2 hours journey in total if I do go in, but I was really fine with the commute time and cost.
The thing is, when I go to the office, nobody talks - not just not to me but to anyone. The office is silent all day, people just put their headphones on and listen to Spotify. That's fine for those who live local and walk in but it seems really pointless for me to travel in just to listen to Spotify which I could do at home.
Also, when I get feedback on my work instead of talking to me they just write comments on Word or type to me over Teams, despite sitting right next to me.. It just feels really unmotivating to go in to be treated as if I was home anyway.
Someone else in my team is a fully remote worker so even if I am in the office for meetings, we join on Teams regardless.
And finally, when I walk to work in that city even at 9am, each time I have been catcalled or shouted at by men. A group even started walking after me shouting hello and excuse me. I don't even feel safe walking in and I don't have any friendly coworker to talk to about it.
I get paid 10,000 USD less than the average national salary for the job position, and I'm not entirely sure if it's because I'm an immigrant or not. I have a BSc (Hons) and an MA and 5 years of work experience. I don't mind the job when it's work from home, but going to the office for the time and money it costs to get no social benefit and just feel alone and depressed is really weighing on my mind.
Should I ask the employer to work fully remote? Or go in once/twice a month? I feel like they would be angry since they said in the interview how they wanted someone in the office but I didn't know how bad the office environment was for me until after I started.
2023.05.30 09:37 ONLY-SAYS-N-WORD Debating sneaking out of my parent's house and going NC
Context: I (19M) haven't always gotten along with my parents (like most teenagers) but holy shit I'm at my final straw. My parents are rather conservative when it comes "extracurricular" activities and are sober on literally everything excluding caffeine. This caused quite a bit of tension growing up, especially when my dumbass got hooked on nicotine before I could even drive. I also picked up weed mostly impart to help my anxiety and insomnia at night. Throughout high school I was caught with vaping three times and smoking twice and because of that my mom became the Gestapo. Everything I did was thoroughly questioned, needed a valid reason, or straight up insulted. On top of that I was required to have a tracker on my phone that was thoroughly monitored (even in uni, they threatened to stop paying for it if I touched the tracker).
Fast forward to today. Obviously once I moved out and got a job I picked up smoking again and maintained the nicotine (I'm aware how stupid I am). I come home today from flying my girlfriend across the country (same uni) to find my mom had gone through my car while I was gone. In the car I had a leftover vape, rolling papers, and a lighter, all of which she found. She immediately begins telling me that from here on out she won't trust me at all and that I'm nothing more than a selfish asshole "who acts like a drug addict". I brought up the fact that I'm a legal adult making my own free choice and she needs to respect that. This resulted in her yelling at me for wanting "to grow up too fast". When I told her me and my GF want to get an apartment together next year anyways, that made it worse. She immediately tells me "Don't you expect a fucking dime from us for rent" (obviously wasn't, I worked throughout college). She then asks me "does your girlfriend wear the pants in this relationship". That line right there has me SEETHING. I'm so fucking fed up with being treated like a 15 year old despite the fact I'm going to finish my degree two years early and be going to grad school at the age of 20 with a 3.5 cumulative. They still think I'm a disappointment even with all I've accomplished, all because I smoked at night to help my anxiety. I don't know why I'm even try with them anymore and this point I'm willing to pack my shit in the dead of night and move across the country to live with my gf so they never have to see me again. I'm fucking tired of it.
submitted by ONLY-SAYS-N-WORD to offmychest [link] [comments]
Fast forward to today. Obviously once I moved out and got a job I picked up smoking again and maintained the nicotine (I'm aware how stupid I am). I come home today from flying my girlfriend across the country (same uni) to find my mom had gone through my car while I was gone. In the car I had a leftover vape, rolling papers, and a lighter, all of which she found. She immediately begins telling me that from here on out she won't trust me at all and that I'm nothing more than a selfish asshole "who acts like a drug addict". I brought up the fact that I'm a legal adult making my own free choice and she needs to respect that. This resulted in her yelling at me for wanting "to grow up too fast". When I told her me and my GF want to get an apartment together next year anyways, that made it worse. She immediately tells me "Don't you expect a fucking dime from us for rent" (obviously wasn't, I worked throughout college). She then asks me "does your girlfriend wear the pants in this relationship". That line right there has me SEETHING. I'm so fucking fed up with being treated like a 15 year old despite the fact I'm going to finish my degree two years early and be going to grad school at the age of 20 with a 3.5 cumulative. They still think I'm a disappointment even with all I've accomplished, all because I smoked at night to help my anxiety. I don't know why I'm even try with them anymore and this point I'm willing to pack my shit in the dead of night and move across the country to live with my gf so they never have to see me again. I'm fucking tired of it.
2023.05.30 09:37 thisguyfucks411 Beat anxiety same way u got it
I think the way to beat anxiety is the same way you got it.
It first started as thought because of something that happened, "my friends don't really like me" or what have u.
Then u entertained that negative THOUGHT/ FEELING some more and more over time. Looking for evidence where there was none (at first) and being so, so sure of it. Gradually but surely u started changing to a completely new person.
We basically have so much power in being able to influence ourselves with persistent thoughts mixed with feelings. Even though it ain't true (but to u it is).
What's the opposite of thinking/feeling we're unlikable or people don't like us? Thinking/feeling people love us and can't stand us being separated from them (everyone we meet).
It first started as a thought because of something that happened "man people really like me a lot?"
Then u entertained that positive THOUGHT/FEELING some more and more over time. Looking for evidence where there was none (at first) and being so, so sure of it. Gradually but surely u started changing to a completely new person.
submitted by thisguyfucks411 to socialanxiety [link] [comments]
It first started as thought because of something that happened, "my friends don't really like me" or what have u.
Then u entertained that negative THOUGHT/ FEELING some more and more over time. Looking for evidence where there was none (at first) and being so, so sure of it. Gradually but surely u started changing to a completely new person.
We basically have so much power in being able to influence ourselves with persistent thoughts mixed with feelings. Even though it ain't true (but to u it is).
What's the opposite of thinking/feeling we're unlikable or people don't like us? Thinking/feeling people love us and can't stand us being separated from them (everyone we meet).
It first started as a thought because of something that happened "man people really like me a lot?"
Then u entertained that positive THOUGHT/FEELING some more and more over time. Looking for evidence where there was none (at first) and being so, so sure of it. Gradually but surely u started changing to a completely new person.
2023.05.30 09:37 Ok_Hyena_1302 Is agorophobia your new lie?
Yeah that’s not true, seeing as you get caught outside all the time by the ducking police dude! This is laughable. You’re just a manipulative liar. Now you’re trying to make me out to be some kind of slut. I really liked you! Jesus fucking Christ. I have to write this all out because how people are coming at me are fucking unfair. The way that you have talked to me is disgusting so I talked to you that way!! You wanted to PUNISH someone by saying I deserved it or earned it because I pissed you off BECAUSE I CALLED THAT BULLSHIT OUT! idk what lies you make up in your head about me but that’s super funny bro. I’m just trying to figure out what the fuck is going on here with you. YOU ARENT SHY! YOU ARENT TERRIFIED! you lead a fucking kitchen dude I don’t ducking believe you’re the shy innocent dude I thought you were and when things were going really bad still….where the fuck were you. It’s abnormal fucking behavior. Real people would just say “I’m not interested” instead of playing these childish mind games. CLARITY!!!! I would’ve told you whatever the fuck you wanted to know in all honesty. You can’t communicate zero and expect a good outcome. I poured energy, effort, and love into you!!! Then shit hit the fan and we just couldn’t get along. All you had to do was send a text, like you know you do to the other girls you got! Why wouldn’t I be irritated someone who is supposed to love me is on dating apps as soon as we had a disagreement like WTF! Then you continued to be petty and passive aggressive calling names like you’re fucking 7 do you think that would create a good reaction? Saying things like Piggy??? What the fuck dude!!!!!! So then I said you look like you were in a starvation camp because if you wanna put me down I can do that too! But that’s not how you prefer to treat someone I love and it didn’t have to be this way. I’m so exhausted with you. You’re most likely just a fantasy in my head. I got too caught up in it. And you just pretended you’re agoraphobic or something. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
submitted by Ok_Hyena_1302 to letters [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 09:37 kittyxoxo21 A Bitter Impasse.
I'm really starting to regret letting you close. Sometimes, I curse at the sky because it seems like everyone who I've let in as a best friend or family, tends not to be. I should've saw the warning signs, and fled or distanced myself. But I was so desperate for a mother figure, a friend - hell, just someone to help me sort out the chaos of life outside of my therapists office. You came in with ulterior motives more than once, and now I can't unsee every single slight you've made. I'm sorry it's come to this, but I need to take my time away from you now, again.
But what hurt the most was when you completely pushed me away, and I wasn't sure why. I had figured you were just stressed out with your life stuff going on. I tried to be there for you, and I figured you just needed time to grieve and go through the motions of what you needed to. I stayed, supported, etc., but I was met with short answers. I never questioned our friendship, but I figured you just had a lot going on so I just let you be. I didn't want to pry too much, but was disheartening to ask how you were doing, what was up, etc., to be left on read and ignored for days, weeks.
It felt like you didn't want me around. Everyone else that you've slighted and complained about to me was allowed to visit, but I wasn't? I asked for your visiting information and you didn't tell me it til 20 minutes before closing. By that point, I had waited an entire day. I was disheartened, annoyed - and wondering if I did something wrong. I figured it was just you were recovering from your operation, so I let it go. I felt like you didn't want me there despite always telling me how close we were, so I stepped back. Let you have your time.
And then - the first time I had really heard from you, I didn't have the emotional resources to support you. Everything in my life came crashing down at once, my own medical issues, my relationship and family issues blowing up, my own responsibilities, etc., I said to you that hey, today I don't have the spoons to take on everyone - that I would talk to you about what's going on later, because you deserved my time more than the others - but I don't have the emotional capacity for anything else right now.
You ghosted again, disappeared. A call now and again questioning my knowledge on certain things - but nothing else really. Only to message me about how hurt you were the night before you knew I was travelling for my usual medical trip. Which I had invited you to come along with - and I was actually looking forward to spending time with you, and never got a clear answer on. I understand why now, but still would've been cool to know prior to me leaving. But blaming that incident on you being distant, amongst other things...is wrong. You know it. We both know you've been acting weird prior to this too.
You've been gone, my friend - and this entire month has felt like a year has gone past. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed, but I can't be there all the time for you when you decide it. I'm only human.
submitted by kittyxoxo21 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
But what hurt the most was when you completely pushed me away, and I wasn't sure why. I had figured you were just stressed out with your life stuff going on. I tried to be there for you, and I figured you just needed time to grieve and go through the motions of what you needed to. I stayed, supported, etc., but I was met with short answers. I never questioned our friendship, but I figured you just had a lot going on so I just let you be. I didn't want to pry too much, but was disheartening to ask how you were doing, what was up, etc., to be left on read and ignored for days, weeks.
It felt like you didn't want me around. Everyone else that you've slighted and complained about to me was allowed to visit, but I wasn't? I asked for your visiting information and you didn't tell me it til 20 minutes before closing. By that point, I had waited an entire day. I was disheartened, annoyed - and wondering if I did something wrong. I figured it was just you were recovering from your operation, so I let it go. I felt like you didn't want me there despite always telling me how close we were, so I stepped back. Let you have your time.
And then - the first time I had really heard from you, I didn't have the emotional resources to support you. Everything in my life came crashing down at once, my own medical issues, my relationship and family issues blowing up, my own responsibilities, etc., I said to you that hey, today I don't have the spoons to take on everyone - that I would talk to you about what's going on later, because you deserved my time more than the others - but I don't have the emotional capacity for anything else right now.
You ghosted again, disappeared. A call now and again questioning my knowledge on certain things - but nothing else really. Only to message me about how hurt you were the night before you knew I was travelling for my usual medical trip. Which I had invited you to come along with - and I was actually looking forward to spending time with you, and never got a clear answer on. I understand why now, but still would've been cool to know prior to me leaving. But blaming that incident on you being distant, amongst other things...is wrong. You know it. We both know you've been acting weird prior to this too.
You've been gone, my friend - and this entire month has felt like a year has gone past. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed, but I can't be there all the time for you when you decide it. I'm only human.
2023.05.30 09:36 flacko7342 navigating the path to a fulfilling and successful career?
Hey everyone! I (22M) graduated with a law degree last year. Since my graduation, I was convinced I wanted to become a lawyer and so I started working at a law firm since late last year while studying for the legal practice qualification (this is required to qualify as a lawyer here in the UK after undergrad).
But here's the thing—I've come to realise that being a lawyer isn't my true calling. It's left me feeling lost and unsure about what to do next. I've spent so much time focused on pursuing a legal career that I have no idea where to begin in finding a new path. I have heard many people mention that I should be following my passions but I really don't know where my passions lie to even begin the process of looking. I know I am somewhat good with people (I work in HR at the moment), but i find areas like technology engaging but just feeling slightly overwhelmed with all the potential opportunities.
I'm reaching out to you all for some much-needed guidance. Any advice on how to choose the right career for me would be greatly appreciated!
submitted by flacko7342 to careerguidance [link] [comments]
But here's the thing—I've come to realise that being a lawyer isn't my true calling. It's left me feeling lost and unsure about what to do next. I've spent so much time focused on pursuing a legal career that I have no idea where to begin in finding a new path. I have heard many people mention that I should be following my passions but I really don't know where my passions lie to even begin the process of looking. I know I am somewhat good with people (I work in HR at the moment), but i find areas like technology engaging but just feeling slightly overwhelmed with all the potential opportunities.
I'm reaching out to you all for some much-needed guidance. Any advice on how to choose the right career for me would be greatly appreciated!
2023.05.30 09:36 Diego_0638 Born in a conservative family and held conservative views? Sorry luv, you should've known better
 | submitted by Diego_0638 to VaushV [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 09:36 sustainable_spirit47 I started taking Antidepressants for the first time and I just wanted to share with someone how lucky and grateful I feel
I (28) started taking 10mg of Escitalopram about 1.5 months ago. In hindsight I realize that I've been depressed for the majority of my life. The reasons I didn't recognize the signs sooner are because 1) I thought that this is just who I was, simply because it had been going on for so long and 2) reading so many self-help books over the years, I strongly believed that I was doing something wrong, and that if I just improved enough aspects about myself, I would get better. I did not. Life was a constant, every day struggle, and the books only made me feel worse about myself. Like I wasn't trying hard enough.
Only now that I'm better, am I able to recognize the difference between then and now - and now I can hardly believe how I could have been so blind to this condition for so many years. The way I've been explaining it to friends and family is this:
I was always functional at work, nobody would have ever known how much I actually struggled deep down. I still did all the chores at home, I met all the deadlines, paid my bills, and so on. I still did all the things one is supposed to do, like going for stupid little walks for my mental health, exercising, eating healthy - all that stuff. But here's the thing: I had to force myself to do all these little things. It took a tremendous amount of effort and energy to do anything at all. And now here's the part that should have been obvious to me: Emotion-wise, it made zero difference to me whether I was doing the dishes or meeting friends to go on a beautiful hike. Both of these things made me feel the exact same thing: Nothing. I never looked forward to anything; all I wanted to do was hibernate and not be part of the world at all. Things that should have excited me just felt like another burden.
How do I feel different now? The best way I can explain it, is... For years and years it felt like I was dragging myself through life with a 200 pound weight attached to my waist with a rope. Whatever responsibilities I had, activities I took part in, it always felt like in addition to that, I still also had to carry that weight around with me. Everything was extremely exhausting.
Now that weight is suddenly * poof *, gone. Don't get me wrong, there's still many things I need to work out, I still go to therapy, it's not like my life is suddenly perfect. But it feels a lot less hopeless and bleak. I actually feel things now. Exercisisng actually makes me feel better. I actually look forward to meeting friends. The hikes I go on now, they truly do feel beautiful - I don't even have to try to convince myself to "enjoy the little things"; i just do. I don't have to constantly fight to feel okay. I just wake up and I'm fine. Just thinking about this almost makes me tear up, because I remember clearly that I constantly felt as if I was just barely managing to breathe and stay afloat. And now... I can just exist.
The reason I count myself lucky is because this is the first Antidepressant I ever tried out, I'm taking the minimal dosage and it's working like a charm. Most people aren't that lucky, and they spend months if not years trying to find a combination of medication that works for them, and many struggle with side effects. I don't feel any side effects at all. Zero.
I was always skeptical about taking medication because I thought 1. "If I only feel happy because I'm taking drugs, then isn't that happiness fake?" or 2. "Will I still be myself?"
Well, the answers to that are 1. It literally makes no difference. I always thought that my "happiness" would feel fake, but it doesn't. It feels real to me, and so I've decided that it is. It's not that I'm constantly cheerful now, it's more like the bad parts are just a lot more quieter. I still get annoyed and bothered here and there, I still have lows sometimes, but it all feels a lot less dramatic. I'm better able to just shrug and move on instead of falling into a deep hole.
Feeling good about my future doesn't feel impossible anymore. It will still be hard, but it will be manageable
submitted by sustainable_spirit47 to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
Only now that I'm better, am I able to recognize the difference between then and now - and now I can hardly believe how I could have been so blind to this condition for so many years. The way I've been explaining it to friends and family is this:
I was always functional at work, nobody would have ever known how much I actually struggled deep down. I still did all the chores at home, I met all the deadlines, paid my bills, and so on. I still did all the things one is supposed to do, like going for stupid little walks for my mental health, exercising, eating healthy - all that stuff. But here's the thing: I had to force myself to do all these little things. It took a tremendous amount of effort and energy to do anything at all. And now here's the part that should have been obvious to me: Emotion-wise, it made zero difference to me whether I was doing the dishes or meeting friends to go on a beautiful hike. Both of these things made me feel the exact same thing: Nothing. I never looked forward to anything; all I wanted to do was hibernate and not be part of the world at all. Things that should have excited me just felt like another burden.
How do I feel different now? The best way I can explain it, is... For years and years it felt like I was dragging myself through life with a 200 pound weight attached to my waist with a rope. Whatever responsibilities I had, activities I took part in, it always felt like in addition to that, I still also had to carry that weight around with me. Everything was extremely exhausting.
Now that weight is suddenly * poof *, gone. Don't get me wrong, there's still many things I need to work out, I still go to therapy, it's not like my life is suddenly perfect. But it feels a lot less hopeless and bleak. I actually feel things now. Exercisisng actually makes me feel better. I actually look forward to meeting friends. The hikes I go on now, they truly do feel beautiful - I don't even have to try to convince myself to "enjoy the little things"; i just do. I don't have to constantly fight to feel okay. I just wake up and I'm fine. Just thinking about this almost makes me tear up, because I remember clearly that I constantly felt as if I was just barely managing to breathe and stay afloat. And now... I can just exist.
The reason I count myself lucky is because this is the first Antidepressant I ever tried out, I'm taking the minimal dosage and it's working like a charm. Most people aren't that lucky, and they spend months if not years trying to find a combination of medication that works for them, and many struggle with side effects. I don't feel any side effects at all. Zero.
I was always skeptical about taking medication because I thought 1. "If I only feel happy because I'm taking drugs, then isn't that happiness fake?" or 2. "Will I still be myself?"
Well, the answers to that are 1. It literally makes no difference. I always thought that my "happiness" would feel fake, but it doesn't. It feels real to me, and so I've decided that it is. It's not that I'm constantly cheerful now, it's more like the bad parts are just a lot more quieter. I still get annoyed and bothered here and there, I still have lows sometimes, but it all feels a lot less dramatic. I'm better able to just shrug and move on instead of falling into a deep hole.
- Not only am I still me, I feel like for the first time in years, I get to be even more like myself. It's as if the shackles that have been holding me down were finally loosened, they're not holding me back as much anymore and I can just be me without having to tackle all these mental obstacles. Deep down I always knew who I was, but over the years, my sense of self was distorted due to the constant apathy and anhedonia. Now, I can actually discover who it is that has been trapped under all this mud for ages. I'm actually quite social now, and very, very active. Just the other day I worked out for an hour, went for a bike ride by the lake, and because I STILL felt a bit too energized, I went on a run on my treadmill and ENJOYED it.
Feeling good about my future doesn't feel impossible anymore. It will still be hard, but it will be manageable
2023.05.30 09:35 ImNotABelgianAndy I feel like I don't deserve to be a part of this community
Context: I (22y omnisexual cis male) am a college student who has been in a relationship with a lovely 22y heterosexual cis female for three and a half years now.
In high school I came out as gay, a year after having developed feelings for a close friend of mine who is straight. This happened again a few years later with a different straight friend. I have never been harassed, because I grew up in a small community with people I had already known for years before coming out. Also, my mom is gay and I don't know my dad, so that helps.
I met my girlfriend in the first semester of college, and started identifying as bisexual. Last week I came out as omnisexual to my girlfriend (who already knew I identified as bi), and she listened very enthusiastically to my explanation. -> she's awesome and I love her for it.
I love this community and feel really at home here, but lateley I have started to feel as though I don't deserve to be a part of it. I have never been called a slur, and I can walk hand in hand with the person I love without the fear of being harassed. Of course I've been side-eyed in the boys locker room in high school after coming out as gay, and I've struggled internally with my identity, but somehow those don't feel like 'real life struggles' compared to what others are going through. The closest I've gotten to feeling marginalized is my mom and some of my closest friends rolling their eyes at the term 'omnisexual', and asking why we feel the need to keep inventing new labels.
I guess I'm asking for validation to be a part of this community, but I don't want it to come off as me minimalizing or even fetishizing your struggles as a community or as an individual. I dunno... I want to be here, but somehow it doesn't feel deserved. Any thoughts?
x
submitted by ImNotABelgianAndy to lgbt [link] [comments]
In high school I came out as gay, a year after having developed feelings for a close friend of mine who is straight. This happened again a few years later with a different straight friend. I have never been harassed, because I grew up in a small community with people I had already known for years before coming out. Also, my mom is gay and I don't know my dad, so that helps.
I met my girlfriend in the first semester of college, and started identifying as bisexual. Last week I came out as omnisexual to my girlfriend (who already knew I identified as bi), and she listened very enthusiastically to my explanation. -> she's awesome and I love her for it.
I love this community and feel really at home here, but lateley I have started to feel as though I don't deserve to be a part of it. I have never been called a slur, and I can walk hand in hand with the person I love without the fear of being harassed. Of course I've been side-eyed in the boys locker room in high school after coming out as gay, and I've struggled internally with my identity, but somehow those don't feel like 'real life struggles' compared to what others are going through. The closest I've gotten to feeling marginalized is my mom and some of my closest friends rolling their eyes at the term 'omnisexual', and asking why we feel the need to keep inventing new labels.
I guess I'm asking for validation to be a part of this community, but I don't want it to come off as me minimalizing or even fetishizing your struggles as a community or as an individual. I dunno... I want to be here, but somehow it doesn't feel deserved. Any thoughts?
x
2023.05.30 09:35 NinjaGalNikka BF(32M) wanted the "competitive toxic gamer me"(34F) back but it feels like I'm going to undo my growth (tempering my temper)
So context, when I was younger (in my 20s) super toxic akong gamer. Like Warcraft3 dota, counter, etc, trashtalk on yan. And overall I think medyo skilled naman ako... Better than you average scrubs. Pero sobrang toxic ako pag natatalo. Salty af. Demeans my then bfs (syempre ex na ngayon) for being noob..May iniwan nga akong guy kasi sobrang hindi ako naimpress sa gaming and programming prowess niya and we were overall in diff stages of life. He wants to settle down, I was a fresh grad (6 years aga gap). Anyway that's another story.
Pero anyway current BF said preference niya na gamer SO na mas magaling sa kanya. Gamer SO ggez yun naman talaga ako ever since so okay naman tong part na to. And now, don't get me wrong siguro I'm still pretty competitive naman sa board games, dota, mtg, etc. And I do beat him sometimes esp in some games pero overall mas magaling naman siya (kaya ko nga jinowa e) pero ayun I've had time to mature and take out some of my edge. I mellowed out. Maybe I've grown older and realized it's tiring to be always be try-hard. And so many people have told me na they liked me better now when I'm more mature and less toxic pag kalaro.
Note: Kilala niya naman ako for years na and siguro hindi man peak toxicity levels nun naging friends kami, I don't think he's seen the me at my worst. Though maybe naparamdam ko na sa kanya when I uninvited him to my game group dati kasi nainis ako sa kanya (🤣 yes I'm very immature back then and I had the power to kick him out, di ko alam bakit ako jinowa nito years later). Also we're friends for 7/8 years? In a relationship for just 5 months palang 🤣
My biggest fear is my old toxic self will come out if I bring back this passionate drive to win. Sobrang pikon and asar talo talaga eh. Edi syempre inaanticipate ko nang mag-aaway kami kasi nga pala-away ako pag nasa ganitong mindset e. Mostly me building up resentment and maybe he might start to hate me too. He said it's just a preference and he's like okay with how I am now but alam mo yon now that I know... There's a niggling feeling at the back of my mind to bring back my tryhard mindset and see how it goes. Pero nasasayang naman ako if maging cause siya ng breakup.
Kumbaga gusto ko sabihan, be careful of what you wish for?
And isn't this undoing years of tempering my temper?
What do?
submitted by NinjaGalNikka to relationship_advicePH [link] [comments]
Pero anyway current BF said preference niya na gamer SO na mas magaling sa kanya. Gamer SO ggez yun naman talaga ako ever since so okay naman tong part na to. And now, don't get me wrong siguro I'm still pretty competitive naman sa board games, dota, mtg, etc. And I do beat him sometimes esp in some games pero overall mas magaling naman siya (kaya ko nga jinowa e) pero ayun I've had time to mature and take out some of my edge. I mellowed out. Maybe I've grown older and realized it's tiring to be always be try-hard. And so many people have told me na they liked me better now when I'm more mature and less toxic pag kalaro.
Note: Kilala niya naman ako for years na and siguro hindi man peak toxicity levels nun naging friends kami, I don't think he's seen the me at my worst. Though maybe naparamdam ko na sa kanya when I uninvited him to my game group dati kasi nainis ako sa kanya (🤣 yes I'm very immature back then and I had the power to kick him out, di ko alam bakit ako jinowa nito years later). Also we're friends for 7/8 years? In a relationship for just 5 months palang 🤣
My biggest fear is my old toxic self will come out if I bring back this passionate drive to win. Sobrang pikon and asar talo talaga eh. Edi syempre inaanticipate ko nang mag-aaway kami kasi nga pala-away ako pag nasa ganitong mindset e. Mostly me building up resentment and maybe he might start to hate me too. He said it's just a preference and he's like okay with how I am now but alam mo yon now that I know... There's a niggling feeling at the back of my mind to bring back my tryhard mindset and see how it goes. Pero nasasayang naman ako if maging cause siya ng breakup.
Kumbaga gusto ko sabihan, be careful of what you wish for?
And isn't this undoing years of tempering my temper?
What do?
2023.05.30 09:34 CrimsonJinx21 Looking for Friends 22+
Hey there, as it says I'm looking for friends. To be honest I'm quiet so I'm looking for people who are mellow and don't mind sitting in silence sometimes. Mostly looking for friends who play Red Dead Redemption 2 and Sea of Thieves. I'm not very good at either, but I play for fun and laughs. If interested send a message. I also have Discord if you'd like to talk outside of Xbox. Thanks for your time. ✌🏻
submitted by CrimsonJinx21 to XboxGamers [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 09:34 No-Refrigerator9982 I am lost
So, I have been feeling lost for a few years now, since I was in college (I am 22 now, and yes probably a lot of young adults feel this way) and I thought when I get a job I'd feel better or at least feel like I know what I am doing, but that didn't happen. And not only that but I am fully aware that I am in a bad place and am really tired and I know what I need to do to get better, but I am really tired and the thought of doing anything exhausts me. Also, I just simply don't find meaning to it all, I keep thinking "what's the point?".
Overall, I know I don't want to continue living like this, but how do I get myself to do something even if I don't find meaning to it? How do I do the things that need to be done? What am I supposed to feel or think?
I am sorry for my English. And sorry if this sounds whiney ( well it kinda is, so i understand. But I need to get to out because I feel so isolated and alone)
Oh, and if it's why I don't talk it over to a friend or family it's because I don't feel comfortable doing so.
submitted by No-Refrigerator9982 to depression [link] [comments]
Overall, I know I don't want to continue living like this, but how do I get myself to do something even if I don't find meaning to it? How do I do the things that need to be done? What am I supposed to feel or think?
I am sorry for my English. And sorry if this sounds whiney ( well it kinda is, so i understand. But I need to get to out because I feel so isolated and alone)
Oh, and if it's why I don't talk it over to a friend or family it's because I don't feel comfortable doing so.
2023.05.30 09:34 Witty_Drive8152 Guy[20s M] I [22F]started talking to asked me if I have ever had a friends-with-benefits
I'm 22 and have only ever been in two relationships. The first person was abusive and terrible. The second broke up with me because I was boring. This is just background. However, I met a guy the other night who I thought was really sweet. He walked up to me saying he had seen me sitting with my girl friend earlier but was shy to approach me. I thought that was cute, that he was cute. Anyway, he requested for my number at the end of the night and I gave him. He didn't contact me until 3 days after. We've been texting since then and I've realised we don't really have much in common but I'm not forming conclusions yet since we've only been talking for a few days (about 3 days now). About an hour or so ago, he made a reference with respect to sex as it relates to a cartoon character but I didn't think much of it because I thought it's just one of those intrusive thoughts adults have. However, almost immediately, he asked me if I have ever had a friends-with-benefits. I got offended by this question and asked why he would ask a lady that... Anyway, I feel offended that he asked me that. Is it all right that I feel offended by that? Mind you, I am sexually attracted to him, yes but I feel it's disrespectful to bring up a question like that especially when you consider that we just started talking and haven't gone out on a date. I think I would be less offended if he asked me directly to be FWB (which I would have said no to) but something about this just makes me feel offended and somewhat disrespected. Please help me put things into perspective. Thank you Reddit.
submitted by Witty_Drive8152 to dating [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 09:34 mmangel90s Whats the worst pain?
the worst pain i have ever had was just now my parents are lugging and talking while i'm crying because idk if i want to live any more. so then i wanted to long in to my Chromebook which for that to happen google needs a comparison code so i ask for there phone to use for like 6 seconds and they were like ya<3 and so i go to look for it and it was know-where so my mom as like OK then go to bed. and i said well i cant {i did not tell them it was because i was mentally drained because if i did they would think i'm a lair i'm saying it for atenchen} then i go back to look for it just in case i could find it and i go back to look for it in there and then she was like "I THOUGHT I SAID TO GO TO SLEEP!' and i said i cant! and then she was like YES YOU CAN then i thought the whole time {only if you were me because were not the same...} and she preset-ed to ask me for water. and so i want to cry so i go outs side to look for there phone and i kinda start to cry {this is what hurt me the most} i go to them and i was like i really cant find your phone and they asked why i was crying i told them "oh its too pretty outside" in reality it was because i was not wanting to be alive and then thy said..... OH U POOR LITTLE CRY BABY JONES!!! don't cry like a baby! {in a mimic way} only if they were me hey would know how i feel..
submitted by mmangel90s to depression [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 09:34 definitelynotaugust Moving to the USA(maybe)
Hello! I have already heard a lot about how trans people live in the USA, but I still consider this country as an option (after a complete transition) and I would like to know from the guys what live there: which state is better to choose? I heard a lot of horror stories about the southern states, and I don't really want to live in the south, so I looked at the states near the border with Canada. If you have any state suggestions I'd love to hear them!
submitted by definitelynotaugust to ftm [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 09:34 theiotacademy2 Top 10 Tips To Beat The Facebook Algorithm & Boost Your Reach post and reels
 | https://preview.redd.it/guiehwpl8x2b1.png?width=2125&format=png&auto=webp&s=c6d35805b36c6844eda02ef7012ec80811a18b2b submitted by theiotacademy2 to u/theiotacademy2 [link] [comments] Introduction You've probably heard that the Facebook algorithm is changing and that it's become more difficult to reach your followers. Don't worry, though! We've put together a list of our top 10 tips for boosting your reach and getting your message out there. Build Your Community in Groups One of the best ways to get around the Facebook algorithm is to build your community in groups. This way, your posts will reach a limited audience (the people who are in your group), and you'll be able to more easily control the content that's being shared. This also gives you a place to connect with your audience on a deeper level, cultivate relationships, and provide valuable content that they can't find anywhere else. Not to mention, groups are a great way to drive traffic back to your website or blog. Leverage User-Generated Content One of the best ways to beat the Facebook algorithm (https://www.theiotacademy.co/blog/how-the-facebook-and-reels-algorithm-works) is to get your fans and followers to generate content for you. When users create content, it's seen as more trustworthy and authentic than anything you could create yourself. So how can you get your fans and followers to generate content for you? Here are a few ideas:
Stories and reels are essential tools to increase your reach as they both get priority placement within the algorithm. Including one or both in every post gives you more visibility and a greater chance of being seen since Facebook wants to make sure its users don’t miss anything important. Plus, adding a visual element to your posts can help draw attention from people as they scroll through their feeds. Another perk of stories and reels is that you get more control over how much content you share. You can break down an article into a few stories over multiple days or create fun video updates with reels. Repurposing old content in creative ways can help keep your followers engaged and make sure you’re consistently putting out content that resonates with them. Automate Post Scheduling When you post regularly, you’re making sure that your content is consistently front and centre on your audience’s feeds. Automating post scheduling also allows you to make sure that you’re always optimizing the days and times of day when your post will be seen by the most people. You can do this both manually or through a scheduling tool like Hootsuite or Later. This process needs to be well thought out—you don't want to bombard your followers with too many posts at once, but also don't want them to miss out on important content because you haven't been consistent about sharing it. Furthermore, it's important to mix up the types of content you're sharing as well—Instagram is great for short videos, Reels, GIFs and more, so don't miss out on the chance to spread creativity! Automated scheduling gives you a good way to plan with a variety of posts that will keep your audience engaged. Tag Relevant Accounts and Add Hashtags Tagging relevant accounts and adding hashtags is one of the best ways to beat the Facebook algorithm and boost your reach. This will help you expand your reach to new audiences and are a great way to engage with the people who are already following your content. When tagging relevant accounts, make sure that you include people who have similar interests as you, as well as people in the same industry. You can also tag other pages that feature similar content, as this can help you get seen by more people. Adding relevant hashtags is another great way to reach more people who might be interested in your content. Just make sure that you limit your hashtags to 10 or fewer so that they don’t overwhelm your post. And remember, the most important thing is to keep it all relevant to your post and audience! Utilize the Boost Button for Maximum Reach When you want to boost your reach and get your posts seen, the “Boost” button can do wonders for you. This lets you pay for more people to see your content, by showing it ads before, during, and after it’s posted. You can target a very specific audience with this tool, and specify who should see the post. This is a great way to make sure that only users with your target demographic are shown your post. Plus, you can use Facebook’s detailed analytics technology to track how successful the boost is and see if it had a positive or negative effect on engagement. So if you want people to see your posts and engage with them, the Boost button is an easy way to make sure that more of the right people are seeing them. Create Polls and Surveys to Engage Users Social media platforms want posts that people want to engage with. So if you want to get in the good graces of the algorithm and get your posts seen, polls and surveys are a great way to do this. Creating a poll or survey helps foster engagement on your page, as it gives people an opportunity to express their opinion. Plus, it encourages users to comment in numbers, which signals to the algorithm that your post is engaging and worth paying attention to. Not only that but you can learn more about what type of content resonates with your followers, so you can continue to create content they’ll love. Creating polls and surveys is easy; just use the Polls option in the Create Post field. Simply select “Create Poll” from the list of options, type in your question and answers, hit publish and watch as your audience responds! Post High-Quality Content Regularly The ninth tip for conquering the Facebook Algorithm (https://www.theiotacademy.co/blog/what-are-google-algorithms-and-history) and boosting your reach is to post high-quality content regularly. It's important to remember that you don't have to post something every day, but you should strive for consistency in your posting schedule so that your followers know when to look for new content from you. When it comes to quality content, think about what would be of value to your followers. Consider creating posts and reels that offer helpful tips or tutorials, engage in conversations with relevant parties, and maintain an inviting atmosphere with witty comments and thoughtful responses. By consistently posting high-quality content regularly, you'll not only increase your reach but also keep your followers engaged and coming back for more – which will ultimately help boost your chances of beating the algorithm! Conclusion So, what are you waiting for? Start implementing these top tips to boost your Facebook reach and see better results from your Facebook posts. Keep in mind that it may take a little time to see the full effects, but as long as you keep following best practices and stay up to date on the latest algorithm changes, you should start seeing better reach and engagement from your Facebook posts in no time. |
2023.05.30 09:33 wdywtobefriends Story of acceptance: Fawned my way into a "friendship" with NarcissistEx, learned my lesson and now recovering
All the memories and feelings I had repressed and fawned my way out of, came flooding when I finally called it quits after 6.5 years of darkness with my narcissist ex. Since then I have realized that my childhood trauma makes me fawn/fight ('the smother-mother' hybrid trauma response in Pete Walker's 'From Surviving to Thriving'). The extent to which I 'postpone' or dissociate from disappointment or other negative emotions regarding others - specifically those I was trauma bonded to - is severe. This made me crazy codependent lol!
However, before realizing all of this, and a month after I broke up with my ex, my mother passed away. Wholly distraught and grieving, I called him up to tell him the news after a month of no contact. He came back into my life again and it felt as if the resurgence of those memories of how terrible he treated me and how bad he made me feel, never happened. Granted, my mind was elsewhere. However, in the first few months after my mother's passing he seemed to care and - but in hindsight - seemed to want to become the hero in my story.
I grew up under the poverty line. Though I have enjoyed great upward social mobility, the trauma surrounding my social identity and background prevails. He'd started working on an article about the exploitation of poor, grieving families in the funeral business - without my consent! This wasn't the first time he used my lived experience for personal gain. My dad, sister and I racked up a great amount of debt to cover the funeral costs. It's only now that I can experience how that truly made me feel, in the moment itself I rationalized his behaviour: 'he means well? it is an issue in this country...' but it makes me feel just as used as he'd made me feel during our relationship.
Amidst all this, he alluded to still and only wanting me. He cheated numerous times lmao but he seemed to get around a lot after our break-up and, yet, 'there was no one like me out there'. Of course, the niceties - also the ones I didn't ask for (classic!) - phased out rather quickly. I'm still not looking for a relationship and just focusing on myself. It's weird how, in those months, I could still fantasize about him turning himself around and us ending up together (ha!).
Come January/February, the unworthy and unloveable feeling returned. It took me some months to pinpoint the trigger of the feeling. When he returned from his vacation, we moved his cat to his new apartment. His cat stayed at mine for the duration of his vacation as he was in-between houses. At his new place, he mentioned how he's been dating a girl that reminds him of me for a while (ha! same majomaster in uni, similar type of likeability and humourous nature and everything lol). However, 'she comes from a more secure family background and he appreciates that soooooooooooooooooooooo much!
The comments stung, I did what I do best: repress and responded jokingly as I am generally unbothered by his dating life. When I left his apartment, the sting of those comments resurfaced. In January/February he'd responded to emotional text messages concerning my dad's rapidly deteriorating health with complete indifference ('what am I supposed to do with this?'). Mind you - I texted him concerning a possible cancer diagnosis and mistakenly thought he'd be a safe person to vent to, as I was feeling like an ominous dark cloud ever since my mother's passing. It mimicked his demeanour towards me during our relationship, excluding the first few months or the first 5 seconds after I'd catch him cheating/verbal abuse/the time he kicked me off a loft bed. Gradually, everything concerning my inner world - reflections, joys, sorrows - would be met with indifference or devaluation again.
Naturally, when I tried to bring the January/February incident up and requested he'd speak to me differently in the future, I was met with his usual tactics. However, compared to our relationship, he's become more arrogant and rude. He quickly started cussing and argued against the validity of my feelings, mentioning how I must be 'jealous of his new relationship'. I stayed civil and kind during all of this until it dawned on me he hadn't changed at all. When my fight response kicked in and my analytic/cool/calm/collected/no bs-side summed his behaviour up and spat it back, he blocked me.
Honestly, he's worse now. It may not seem like it to others, though. He kicked his weed habit, has a job at a newspaper, a new girlfriend and a stable living situation. He is very proud of the fact he finally has 'friends (of his own)' .... that couldn't possibly be aware of his treatment of me, and don't make him feel like he has to prove his nonexistent integrity. Funny, considering I felt completely responsible for his fragility and wouldn't dare to speak to others about his abuse beyond the first time he cheated, seeing he was very adept at making me feel like his sudden "social anxiety" was my fault because I spoke to people about his first time cheating. Of course, I took on this responsibility, seeing he didn't shy away from ambiguously insinuating he wanted to unalive himself (trauma trigger of mine) after I broke up with him following his first time cheating.
Anyway, he attempted a hoover last week. I declined his offer to meet up and told him I'd rather not speak to him again. And despite all of this..... I catch myself doubting the validity of my feelings and memories, as if I still want to pour 'understanding' and 'love' where boundaries and self-respect should be. I can still feel his contempt towards my interests and passions itching inside, attempting to dissuade me from engaging in them. I can still hear his judgements whenever I do household chores in ways he wouldn't approve of. I can still feel a thick layer of dust and grime on top of my skin - as if I'm less bright, joyous, intelligent, resilient, humourous, as if I'm less me.
Sometimes I think I should want to pour hatred where I've grown to think (codependent/boundaryless) love should be, maybe that would make this easier? And sometimes I find peace knowing that, yes, how I've been taught to love and stay in connection is incredibly unhealthy, but I did - and still do - wish him well.
submitted by wdywtobefriends to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]
However, before realizing all of this, and a month after I broke up with my ex, my mother passed away. Wholly distraught and grieving, I called him up to tell him the news after a month of no contact. He came back into my life again and it felt as if the resurgence of those memories of how terrible he treated me and how bad he made me feel, never happened. Granted, my mind was elsewhere. However, in the first few months after my mother's passing he seemed to care and - but in hindsight - seemed to want to become the hero in my story.
I grew up under the poverty line. Though I have enjoyed great upward social mobility, the trauma surrounding my social identity and background prevails. He'd started working on an article about the exploitation of poor, grieving families in the funeral business - without my consent! This wasn't the first time he used my lived experience for personal gain. My dad, sister and I racked up a great amount of debt to cover the funeral costs. It's only now that I can experience how that truly made me feel, in the moment itself I rationalized his behaviour: 'he means well? it is an issue in this country...' but it makes me feel just as used as he'd made me feel during our relationship.
Amidst all this, he alluded to still and only wanting me. He cheated numerous times lmao but he seemed to get around a lot after our break-up and, yet, 'there was no one like me out there'. Of course, the niceties - also the ones I didn't ask for (classic!) - phased out rather quickly. I'm still not looking for a relationship and just focusing on myself. It's weird how, in those months, I could still fantasize about him turning himself around and us ending up together (ha!).
Come January/February, the unworthy and unloveable feeling returned. It took me some months to pinpoint the trigger of the feeling. When he returned from his vacation, we moved his cat to his new apartment. His cat stayed at mine for the duration of his vacation as he was in-between houses. At his new place, he mentioned how he's been dating a girl that reminds him of me for a while (ha! same majomaster in uni, similar type of likeability and humourous nature and everything lol). However, 'she comes from a more secure family background and he appreciates that soooooooooooooooooooooo much!
The comments stung, I did what I do best: repress and responded jokingly as I am generally unbothered by his dating life. When I left his apartment, the sting of those comments resurfaced. In January/February he'd responded to emotional text messages concerning my dad's rapidly deteriorating health with complete indifference ('what am I supposed to do with this?'). Mind you - I texted him concerning a possible cancer diagnosis and mistakenly thought he'd be a safe person to vent to, as I was feeling like an ominous dark cloud ever since my mother's passing. It mimicked his demeanour towards me during our relationship, excluding the first few months or the first 5 seconds after I'd catch him cheating/verbal abuse/the time he kicked me off a loft bed. Gradually, everything concerning my inner world - reflections, joys, sorrows - would be met with indifference or devaluation again.
Naturally, when I tried to bring the January/February incident up and requested he'd speak to me differently in the future, I was met with his usual tactics. However, compared to our relationship, he's become more arrogant and rude. He quickly started cussing and argued against the validity of my feelings, mentioning how I must be 'jealous of his new relationship'. I stayed civil and kind during all of this until it dawned on me he hadn't changed at all. When my fight response kicked in and my analytic/cool/calm/collected/no bs-side summed his behaviour up and spat it back, he blocked me.
Honestly, he's worse now. It may not seem like it to others, though. He kicked his weed habit, has a job at a newspaper, a new girlfriend and a stable living situation. He is very proud of the fact he finally has 'friends (of his own)' .... that couldn't possibly be aware of his treatment of me, and don't make him feel like he has to prove his nonexistent integrity. Funny, considering I felt completely responsible for his fragility and wouldn't dare to speak to others about his abuse beyond the first time he cheated, seeing he was very adept at making me feel like his sudden "social anxiety" was my fault because I spoke to people about his first time cheating. Of course, I took on this responsibility, seeing he didn't shy away from ambiguously insinuating he wanted to unalive himself (trauma trigger of mine) after I broke up with him following his first time cheating.
Anyway, he attempted a hoover last week. I declined his offer to meet up and told him I'd rather not speak to him again. And despite all of this..... I catch myself doubting the validity of my feelings and memories, as if I still want to pour 'understanding' and 'love' where boundaries and self-respect should be. I can still feel his contempt towards my interests and passions itching inside, attempting to dissuade me from engaging in them. I can still hear his judgements whenever I do household chores in ways he wouldn't approve of. I can still feel a thick layer of dust and grime on top of my skin - as if I'm less bright, joyous, intelligent, resilient, humourous, as if I'm less me.
Sometimes I think I should want to pour hatred where I've grown to think (codependent/boundaryless) love should be, maybe that would make this easier? And sometimes I find peace knowing that, yes, how I've been taught to love and stay in connection is incredibly unhealthy, but I did - and still do - wish him well.
2023.05.30 09:33 Nice_Astronomer_6244 Okay I feel very down somehow at the moment and feels like Panic attacks are upcoming
I dont know why or how recently, but it feels like I am really down and at a low point in my life at the moment. It feels like panic attacks are starting to come and I don't know how to handle this. I overthink a lot about everything and I see more negative things rather then positive. I don't feel like that I can talk about it with someone close to me. Does anyone has this as well? Or is able to answer me with a solution or so?
submitted by Nice_Astronomer_6244 to HealthQuestions [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 09:33 CoolioStarStache I showed a few Richard scenes to my mom and she immediately fell in love
I don't know why I'm posting this, but basically my brother and I mentioned him in a conversation, and she had no idea who we were talking about, so I showed her a few scenes, first the scene where Emily is scared after seeing his face and the Wizard of Oz scene, and she asked me to show her more. So I showed her the scrapbooking scene and the scene where he goes dancing with Julia.
She seems legitimately interested in the show now. My brother did tell her that he is a pretty secondary character and that she wouldn't like it because of all the violence and sex, but she still just wants to see more Richard, lol, and says that I hooked her.
Can't blame her, it's scientifically impossible to not immediately love Richard Harrow
submitted by CoolioStarStache to BoardwalkEmpire [link] [comments]
She seems legitimately interested in the show now. My brother did tell her that he is a pretty secondary character and that she wouldn't like it because of all the violence and sex, but she still just wants to see more Richard, lol, and says that I hooked her.
Can't blame her, it's scientifically impossible to not immediately love Richard Harrow
2023.05.30 09:33 potatoneedshelpplz Juan
You are confusing me.
If you want our friendship that is wonderful, if you don't I can accept that also. We are both adults and both of our wants and feelings matter, I will always honour your feelings.
It's been a long time since the days I used to race home to message you on vampire freaks. Fantasizing about meeting you one day and staring out life together. The escape we created back then most likely kept me alive. Oh to be a naive teenager again.
I am glad we have both moved on in positive directions. I'm glad you have a partner and a little family. I am glad you are safe away from those who once hurt you.
It was really good to hear from you and get your number, I really hoped it would open up the ability for us to reconnect after so many years.
I guess the pathway we were aiming to head down all those years ago, and the pathways we actually went down were definitely different to what we expected, but I still wish you would be open with me about what you are thinking and feeling. I am not going to judge you for what you say to me.
If you miss me but can't have me in your life, that is okay, I don't want to intrude. I just want to know what it is. Why you messaged me so often and happpily to begin with but then changed so quickly to nearly no communication aside from a random selfie here or there.
You are loved and always will be dear to me Juan, no matter what. G
submitted by potatoneedshelpplz to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
If you want our friendship that is wonderful, if you don't I can accept that also. We are both adults and both of our wants and feelings matter, I will always honour your feelings.
It's been a long time since the days I used to race home to message you on vampire freaks. Fantasizing about meeting you one day and staring out life together. The escape we created back then most likely kept me alive. Oh to be a naive teenager again.
I am glad we have both moved on in positive directions. I'm glad you have a partner and a little family. I am glad you are safe away from those who once hurt you.
It was really good to hear from you and get your number, I really hoped it would open up the ability for us to reconnect after so many years.
I guess the pathway we were aiming to head down all those years ago, and the pathways we actually went down were definitely different to what we expected, but I still wish you would be open with me about what you are thinking and feeling. I am not going to judge you for what you say to me.
If you miss me but can't have me in your life, that is okay, I don't want to intrude. I just want to know what it is. Why you messaged me so often and happpily to begin with but then changed so quickly to nearly no communication aside from a random selfie here or there.
You are loved and always will be dear to me Juan, no matter what. G
2023.05.30 09:32 Man_in_bIack Questions about Warg / Greensight / Greenseers [SPOILERS EXTENDED]
I have a question (well 3 but 1 main) about the magic of the Children of the Forest. We know that the First Men were able to inherit their powers and that the descendants of the current First Men can have these powers.
However, we know from Maester Luwin that hardly anyone believes in these powers any more.
We also learn the statistics behind these powers: one man in a thousand is a warg (skinchanger) and one warg in a thousand is a greenseer. Also, several individuals have Greensight, like Jojen Reed (by the way, don't we agree that Jojen is not a greenseer?).
So there aren't many greenseers: we know Brynden Rivers, Bran Stark and to a lesser extent Euron Greyjoy, although I don't know, does Euron simply has Greensight or more ?
On the other hand, there must be a lot of wargs - one man in a thousand is a huge number. What's more, all the Starks (we don't know why) can warg in their wolves : How is it possible that this power is no longer known to everyone?
submitted by Man_in_bIack to asoiaf [link] [comments]
However, we know from Maester Luwin that hardly anyone believes in these powers any more.
We also learn the statistics behind these powers: one man in a thousand is a warg (skinchanger) and one warg in a thousand is a greenseer. Also, several individuals have Greensight, like Jojen Reed (by the way, don't we agree that Jojen is not a greenseer?).
So there aren't many greenseers: we know Brynden Rivers, Bran Stark and to a lesser extent Euron Greyjoy, although I don't know, does Euron simply has Greensight or more ?
On the other hand, there must be a lot of wargs - one man in a thousand is a huge number. What's more, all the Starks (we don't know why) can warg in their wolves : How is it possible that this power is no longer known to everyone?