The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

♫ I love being a Turtle ♫

Mutated in the sewers of New York many years ago, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are the sons and students of Hamato Splinter, and act as a force of good in New York City, where they battle many evils, chief among them the threat of the evil Foot Clan and it's master, the Shredder.

Leonardo

Leonardo's always in control. The field leader of the turtles, Leo is the most responsible and focused of the team. Wielding twin katana and wearing blue, Leo's skill is unparalleled on the battlefield.
Full RT

Strength

• Cuts off a mech suit's arm
• Sends Dark Leonardo flying through metal doors, warping them
• Lifts a car off of Raphael
• Pushes over a large statue with his legs

Durability

• Takes a hit from Razorfist, who dented and sent a thick metal door flying
• Not cut by Stockman's cyborg blades, which cut a semi in half
• Blades break on his shell
• Caught in the explosion of a bomb that brought down a warehouse

Speed/Agility

• Cuts a bullet out of the air
• Deflects, dodges, and catches crossbow bolts
• Leaps between missiles in mid-flight
• Slices a gun and armor to pieces before they begin to fall apart

Skill

• Disarms the other turtles in a training exercise
• Defeats invisible Foot Tech ninja by blindfighting
• Cuts the string off of a bundle of newspapers, then cuts the newspapers into stars as they fall
• Manages to complete Splinter's stealth lesson where the other turtles failed

Michelangelo

The wise guy is Michelangelo. The goofball of the group, Mikey is happy-go-lucky and a jokester, bringing a sense of levity to the fight. Wielding twin nunchucks and wearing orange, Mikey's attitude belies his adaptable fighting style, which he has made use of to win many important battles.
Full RT

Strength

• Hits a Mouser into a concrete pillar hard enough to break it with his nunchuck
• Kicks Mephos through a thick wall
• Breaks shackles holding his feet
• Rips off a robot's arm

Durability

• Thrown through large metal doors hard enough to warp them
• Kluh's blade, which sliced through a log, breaks on his shell
• Blasted by the Foot Mystics hard enough to break a stone pillar
• Hit with a laser from Nano, which sliced through a large statue

Speed/Agility

• Dodges some gunfire
• Dodges a missile launcher
• Dodges strikes form Leonardo and Raphel in a training match
• Acrobatically avoids police capture

Skill

• Trained in every weapon form
• Takes down Kluh while standing on one hand
• Beats a stronger foe by using stealth and fog from a fire extinguisher to wear him down
• Hits off a man's belt with his nunchuck

Donatello

Donatello, he's the brains of the bunch. The resident genius of the team, Don's intellect and skill in all things machine is a boon for his team in their battle against evil. Wielding a bo staff and wearing purple, Don's wide berth of expertise and ability make him an integral part of all battle planning.
Full RT

Strength

• Smacks mutant Hun through a concrete pillar
• Shatters several robots with a staff swing
• Throws his staff through a large bone structure
• Flings a large armored alien on the end of his staff

Durability

• Gets sent flying by Jammerhead through a metal door hard enough to warp it
• Takes blows from a Foot Mech disguised as Splinter that warped thick metal with strikes
• Ok after a missile destroys the warehouse he's in^S3E18
• Hit by Stockman's missiles, which blew a hole in the floor^S1E23

Speed/Agility

• Dodges shots from gatling guns
• Swats and dodges missiles fired by Stockman's mech
• Dodges attacks from a large robot with water arms
• Pole vaults onto a ship

Skill

• Defeats a group of Foot ninja
• Creates a portal that allows the turtles to enter cyberspace as well as gear for them to use in there
• Rigs an EMP using his laptop and a roller coaster
• Fixes a busted alien hovercraft in seconds

Raphael

Count on Raphael to throw the first punch. The turtles' hothead, Raph is an angry and driven fighter in his family's battle against evil. Wielding twin sai and wearing red, Raph is a ferocious force on the battlefield.
Full RT

Strength

• Smashes a large stone monster's head using its arm as a club
• Carves through rock with a sai
• Breaks Foot robots
• Holds open the jaws of a mechanical dragon

Durability

• Punched through a building wall by giant Cyber Shredder
• Charged by a monster that smashes through trees
• Hit by a blast from the Sword of Tengu which destroyed a dock and heavily fractured the concrete ground
• Powers through an electric whip

Speed/Agility

• Catches a crossbow bolt
• Dodges an RPG
• Dodges strikes from 3 Foot ninja at once
• Leaps through a laser trap

Skill

• Manhandles some mobsters
• Beats a robot that can predict his moves by using Leonardo's swords
• Ricochets his sai off of trucks to take out Street Phantoms
• Sneaks up on two Foot ninja

Shared Feats

• Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo hold back a large robot^S2E1
• All four Turtles hold up a large piece of debris^S2E15
• All four Turtles lift Cody's Turtle X armor from the ledge of a chasm^S6E5

Turtle Gear

Shared Gear

• Climbing claws that dig into concrete^S1E2
• Shell phones^S4E3
• Gear designed to deal with a mutant outbreak^S4E19
• Dart guns that return cyber beings that got loose in the real world to cyberspace^S7E8
• Gear for fighting another mutant outbreak^S7E14
• Mech suits for fighting mutant dinosaurs^S7E14

Battle Shell I

Physicals

• Knocks over giant robot^S1E5
• Crushes a dumpster^S1E1
• Smashes through some gates^S1E1
• Smashes through a security shutter^S1E8
• Takes several hits from Nano^S1E5
  • In a weaker body, Nano punched through several prison walls^S2E11
• Unharmed by energy turrets that leave holes in the concrete floor^S1E21
• Unaffected by a flamethrower^S1E9

Gadgets/Weapons

• Shoots missiles^S1E9
  • Blows up a turret and a metal door^S1E21
• Shoots a single missile that blows up a thick metal wall^S1E21
  • Blows up a control booth^S1E21
  • Makes a crater in concrete^S4E15
• Tracks the unique energy signature of nanobots^S1E5
• Can be remotely called to a location^S1E8
• Activates boosters to ram a truck^S1E9
  • Uses boosters to tilt on its side to pass through a closing door^S1E21
• Uses a grappling hook to stop itself from driving off of a dock^S1E9

Misc Vehicles

• The Battle Shell II, allegedly an improved version of the Battle Shell that doesn't really get used^S4E19
• The Shell Cycle, a motorcycle stored within the Battle Shell^S1E4
• The Sewer Slider, a hoverboat^S1E2
  • Has a stealth mode^S1E13
  • Extendable bed^S2E19
• The Sewer Sled, a rocket powered watercraft^S5E6
• The Turtle Tunneler, a drilling vehicle^S2E13
  • Designed to withstand lava^S2E13
• The Shell Sub, a submarine^S2E18
  • Has depth charges and torpedos^S2E18
    • The torpedoes make a crater in the sea floor^S4E15
  • Takes fire from Shrednauts, which blasts through concrete^S4E15
• The Turtle Copter, an overhauled military helicopter^S4E24
  • Has energy weapons that smash concrete^S7E5
  • The weapons destroy mutant dinosaurs^S7E14
  • The weapons blow up Foot robots^F
• The Turtle Taxi, an armored taxi^S5E6
  • Knocks aside wrecked cars^S5E7
  • Rotates its wheels to drive sideways^S5E7
  • Has a grappling line it uses to tow away a car^S5E7
  • Has a fire extinguisher^S5E7
  • Has a jet engine in the trunk^S5E7
  • Rights itself after being flipped over^S5E7
• The Hover Shell, a futuristic hovercraft used while the turtles were stuck in the future^S6E2
  • The cockpit can separate and become a ground vehicle^S6E2
    • Also functions in water^S6E20
  • Crushes a car with its weight^S6E7
• The Turtle Hauler, an overhauled garbage truck with hover capabilities^S7E2
  • Gets hit with fire hydrant caps^S7E11
  • Has an energy cannon that breaks a support pillar^S7E14
  • Fires missiles^S7E14
    • Blows up a dog mutant^F
  • Engages a device that it uses to break support beams^S7E14
  • Drives straight through some mutant dinosaurs^S7E14
  • Flies through a concrete floor^S7E14
• Flight packs^S4E7

Leonardo

"Leonardo's always in control"

Leonardo is one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, mutant turtles taught the way of the ninja by their rat sensei, Hamato Splinter. Leo is the most skilled and responsible of the turtles, acting as the team's field leader on missions against their enemies, most notably the ninja crime lord known as the Shredder.
Feats will be marked with the season and episode number (i.e. S3E5). Feats from Turtles Forever will be marked with F.

Physicals

Strength

Swords

• Cuts off a giant robot's arm^S1E5
  • Again^S4E2
• Cuts through a Triceraton hoverplatform^S3E2
• Cuts off the arm of Stockman's mech^S1E23
• Slices through a stone monster's limbs^S4E12
• Decapitates Utrom Shredder's armor^S1E23
• Penetrates Utrom Shredder's armor^S2E8
• Slices apart a robot^S2E20
• Cuts off a robot's arm^S6E3
• Stabs through a piece of machinery^S1E23
• Cuts apart Mousers^S1E1
  • 2^S1E2
  • 3^S1E2
  • 4^S1E2
  • 5^S1E2
• Slices through a stone sword^S4E14
• Decapitates a statue of Oroku Saki^S4E16
• Slices a small robot in half^S2E22
• Cuts through a thick metal roof^S6E21
• Slices an Utrom hovercraft in half^S1E26
• Cuts a metal pole^S1E14
• Cuts bus railings^S2E15
• Cuts cage bars^S1E8
• Cuts a gun in half lengthwise^S6E26
• Cuts apart a gun^S3E11
• Slices the barrels of laser rifles^S2E1
  • 2^S2E18
  • 3^S3E24
  • 4^S4E4
  • 5^S4E9
  • 6^S4E11
• Cuts a pipe^S1E4
• Cuts down metal supports on the roof of a sewer^S2E1
• Cuts down a metal chair support^S2E15
• Cuts through a turret^S3E9
• Cuts an elevator cable^S1E22
• Cuts through swords^S1E10
• Stabs the roof of a semi trailer^S2E10
• Cuts chain^S1E6
  • 2^S1E9
  • 3^S2E15
  • 4^S3E12
• Cuts through a tire underwater^S4E3

Striking

• One shots Foot Tech ninjas^S1E17
  • A Foot Tech takes a hit that launches him hard enough to warp a large metal beam^S1E7
• Kicks a large stone mutant into a wall hard enough to crater it^S2E13
• Kicks a Foot ninja into an hvac unit hard enough to warp it^S1E11
• Punches Hun into a chimney, causing it to collapse on him^S1E17
• Sends Dark Leonardo flying through metal doors, warping them^S6E23
• Punches a foe, sending him sliding across a bar and putting his head through the wall^S6E3
• Breaks doors^S1E22
• Knocks out a group of Triceratons with a kick^S2E3
• Kicks a zombie hard enough to snap a spear^S3E17
• One shots Foot ninja^S1E6
• One shots goons^S1E4
• With Raphael, kicks Casey into a large gong hard enough to damage it^S7E2

Lifting/Throwing

• Throws a Triceraton into a metal beam hard enough to warp it^S6E18
• Throws a Triceraton hard enough to smash a crate^S6E26
• Flings a Triceraton across a training room^S2E4
• Throws a car bench at a pursuing Triceraton^S2E2
• Forces open a mutant T-rex's jaws^S7E14
• Lifts a car off of Raphael with one arm^S6E4
• Moves a large piece of rubble off of himself^S7E5
• Holds up a Triceraton with one arm^S3E5
• Throws shuriken hard enough to embed in a gun^S4E4
• Throws shuriken hard enough to embed in concrete^S4E5 *With Raphael, holds up a large stone trap^S6E15

Clashing

• Matches a mace blow from Stockman's cyborg body, which used the mace to make shockwaves that knocked over semi trucks^S7E5
• Pushes back a strike from Dark Michelangelo^S6E23
  • Dark Michelangelo launched Michelangelo through a thick concrete wall^S6E12
• Locks blades with Hun^S1E10
• Locks blades with the Daimyo's guards, who can cut into stone^S3E23
• Clashes with and overpowers several Foot ninja at once^S1E11

Other

• Pushes over a large statue with his legs^S3E17
• Bends open a large metal door^S4E9
• Either he or Raphael flings Michelangelo through large metal doors hard enough to warp them^S6E7
• Disarms Raphael, launching his sai hard enough to embed in concrete^S1E10
• Stabs into concrete with a bladed gauntlet^S2E10

Durability

Blunt

• Gets kicked by Utrom Shredder^S1E11
• Takes a hit from Razorfist, who dented and sent a thick metal door flying^S1E14
• Takes a hit from Stockman's mech^S1E23
  • Stockman's mech hit Shredder hard enough to make a hole in the wall and slammed him through a pillar^S1E23
• Punched through a building wall by giant Cyber Shredder^S7E8
• Hit by Dr. Dome's mech, which busted a large hole in stone^S2E22
• Takes a hit from Hun^S1E10
  • Hun hit Raphael hard enough to warp steel bars^S1E8 and swung a mace straight through solid metal^S3E25
• Gets thrown by Hun hard enough to warp a metal pole^S1E18
• Gets hit by Hun collapsing a steel cage on him^S1E8
  • Hit by Hun into a pigeon coop^S1E17
• Takes repeated hits from Foot Tech ninja^S1E17
  • Takes more hits^S1E21
    • A Foot Tech launches another hard enough to warp a large metal beam^S1E7
• Takes a kick from a Triceraton^S2E4
  • A generic Triceraton tears apart a hovercraft^S2E2
• Hit with a shoulder charge by Leatherhead^S2E12
  • Leatherhead rips a large metal gate out of the wall and throws it,^S3E9 punches a metal door out of its frame and warps it,^S3E25 and sends Mutated Donatello flying through a concrete wall with a tail slap^S4E24
• Takes blows from a Foot Mech disguised as Splinter^S2E19
  • The Mech warped thick metal with strikes^S2E19
• Kicked into a lamppost hard enough to bend it by the Ultimate Ninja^S2E10
• Hit by a monster that broke trees in half^S4E2
• Punched through concrete by Sh'Okanobo^S6E7
• Fine after being thrown into a large shelving unit hard enough for it to collapse on him^S1E21
• Flung back by brainwashed Michelangelo hard enough to smash a couch^S6E11
• Falls onto a car hard enough to dent the roof^S1E11
• Takes a kick from brainwashed Casey Joens^S7E2
  • Casey smacked Hun bleachers hard enough to collapse them^S1E8 and kicked a door open hard enough to break the cement bricks it hits^S4E5
• Jumps off of a building into a garbage truck^S2E1

Piercing

• Not cut by Stockman's cyborg blades, which cut a semi in half^S7E5
• His shell is uncut by a Foot Elite's blade^S2E20
  • An Elite cuts through a suit of armor^S1E18
• Blades break on his shell^S1E6
• Jumps through a window^S4E5

Energy

• Hit by a blast from the Sword of Tengu^S1E6
  • Again^S1E23
    • A cannon powered by the Sword destroyed a dock and heavily fractured the concrete ground^S1E6
• Fine after being caught in Tengu Shredder's energy tornado, which destroyed the top of his fortress and flung the turtles away^S5E11
• Blasted by the Foot Mystics, who launch Michelangelo hard enough to break a stone pillar^S1E22
• Hit with a laser from Nano, which sliced through a large statue^S5E6

Explosives

• Caught in the explosion of a bomb that brought down a warehouse^S2E14
• Ok after a missile destroys the warehouse he's in^S3E18
• Ok after a bomb collapses bleachers on him^S2E18
• Hit by Stockman's missiles, which blew a hole in the floor^S1E23
• Hit by missiles from Stockman's cyborg body^S7E5

Other

• Hikes up a mountain with a large pack on his back^S5E1

Speed/Agility

Against Projectiles

• Dodges a laser^S1E3
• Cuts a bullet out of the air^S3E11
• Deflects, dodges, and catches crossbow bolts^S2E24
• Cuts an arrow fired from behind out of the air^S1E10
• Cuts more arrows out of the air^S3E22
• Blocks arrows with a table after they're fired in a training exercise^S6E3
• Leaps between missiles in mid-flight^S7E14
• Dodges a missile fired from a Foot tank^S1E21
• Dodges missiles fired from Stockman's mech^S1E23
• Dodges an RPG^S2E15
  • 2^S2E16
  • 3^S4E11
• Dodges energy blasts from Stockman's robot^S2E14
• Deflects energy blasts from turrets^S3E9
• Deflects blasts from laser rifles^S4E9
• Dodges fire from a Shrednaut^S4E16
• Catches a blade thrown from behind just before it hits him^S2E10
• Dodges Stockman's flamethrower^S1E23
• Deflects shuriken thrown by the Ultimate Ninja^S2E10
• Deflects a hail of shuriken thrown by Foot ninja^S1E11
• Deflects more shuriken^S6E3
• Catches a thrown spoon between his feet^S6E2

Against Melee

• Dodges a sword swing from Utrom Shredder^S1E23
• Dodges a surprise punch from behind from the Ultimate Ninja^S2E10
  • Catches a strike just before it hits him^S2E10
• Catches a sword swing from Agent Bishop^S3E18
• Dodges an attack from Karai^S2E20
  • Karai (disguised as Shredder) deflects gunfire^S2E16
• Dodges attacks from a Foot Elite^S2E8
  • Elites deflect gunfire^S2E16
• Dodges a swing from a Foot ninja^S1E6
  • Foot ninja dodge^S2E14 and deflect gunfire^S2E16
• Dodges attacks from two alien gladiators^S2E4
• Easily dodges strikes from two Triceratons^S6E18
• Catches an axe swing from a Triceraton gladiator^S2E4
• Dodges a punch from a giant robot^S2E11
  • 2^S5E10
• Dodges a punch from a large monster^S4E2
• Easily dodges attacks from karate students^S7E2
• Acrobatically dodges large stone traps^S6E15

Cutting

• Slices a robot into several pieces before it begins to fall^S2E20
• Slices apart a gun and armor in the same way^S3E11
• Slices apart another gun in a similar manner^S4E4
• Slices apart another gun^S6E10
• Cuts apart a bat in a similar manner^S7E14

Movement/Agility

• Fights while balancing on bamboo poles in the dark as part of his training^S1E7
• Bicycle kicks Hun^S1E10
• Attaches a grappling hook to a truck and swings on it to attack his foe from behind^S2E10
• Takes out Foot ninja by jumping on their heads^S1E11
• Flips around rock spires to avoid a giant serpent^S5E5
• Jumps off of a wall to avoid a large monster^S2E4
• Recovers after being flung by a tornado^S1E22
• Flips across the lair to catch a tape after Casey drops it^S2E10
• Leaps through a laser trap^S3E9
• Leaps across rooftops^S1E1
• Leaps up bridge cables to reach the top^S2E10
• Scales a building^S1E1
• Wall runs^S6E2
  • 2^F
• Leaps up onto a ship from the dock^S1E6
• Flips up onto an awning^S1E1
• Jumps onto stampeding dinosaurs and then off to safety^S4E20
• Jumps onto a train as it passes^S1E2
• Springs off of a polearm over a group of guards^S3E23
• Swings from a grappling hook to catch Splinter as he's falling^S1E23
• Swings from a grappling hook onto the Foot's HQ^S4E16
• Walks across a tightrope^S1E25
• Catches up to a semi by moving through the trees^S2E10
• Outruns a rolling boulder^S1E13
• Flips up the line of the other turtles hanging from a ledge^S3E26
• With the other turtles, flings himself up to the top of a ledge while hanging from a rope^S1E13

Skill

Vs Single Opponents

• Defeats Karai^S4E16
• Defeats Rat King^S4E5
• Beats an undefeated Triceraton gladiator in a quick duel^S2E4
• Disarms Splinter in a spar^S4E14
• Disarms Karai^S2E15
• Disarms Tomoe Ame, a samurai^S3E22
• Disarms Jammerhead^S6E5
• Maneuvers in Hun's grip in order to twist his arm^S4E4

Vs Groups

• Disarms the other turtles in a training exercise^S1E10
  • Takes down Raphael and Donatello in a training exercise^S4E7
• Defeats a group of Foot ninja^S1E10
  • Defeats another group and an even larger group after fighting the Foot clan for over 12 hours^S1E17
• Defeats a group of Mogura ninja^S3E22
• Defeats Shredder's Foot Elite with the other turtles^S1E23
• Defeats a group of Triceraton soldiers with the other turtles^S2E3
• Defeats a group of Foot Ninja with the other turtles^S2E14
• Fights off a group of Neko ninja with Usagi and Gen^S3E22
• Trashes the Purple Dragons, the toughest gang in New York, with the other turtles^S1E1
• With the other turtles, defeats a group of Avian warriors while wearing a flight pack^S4E7

Blindfighting

• Defeats invisible Foot Tech ninja by blindfighting^S1E17
• Blocks strikes from Splinter in a blindfighting exercise^S2E9
• Cuts down swinging candles while blindfolded^S4E13

Cutting Precision

• Cuts the string off of a bundle of newspapers, then cuts the newspapers into stars as they fall^S1E10
• Cuts Karai's Shredder helmet to pieces off of her face without hurting her^S4E16
• Cuts a mask off of a man's face without hurting him^S4E12
• Cuts webbing off of Michelangelo and Raphael without hurting them^S2E13
• Cuts off Leatherhead's bonds without hurting him^S3E9
• Cuts off a man's pants without hurting him^S3E11

Accuracy

• Reflects blasts back at the turrets that fired them^S6E26
• Throws a sword through three candles while blindfolded^S4E13
• Throws a shield to hit an assassin in the rafters^S2E24
• Throws a shuriken to knock a knife out of a man's hands^S4E12
• Kicks a knife to pin a Street Phantom to some barrels^S6E5

Stealth

• Manages to complete Splinter's stealth lesson where the other turtles failed^S1E1
• Sneaks into the Foot Clan's HQ without being detected^S4E16
• Sneaks on board a Foot ship^S2E19
• Takes down some Purple Dragons in their hideout without being noticed^S4E4
• Sneaks away from a group of soldiers^S2E1
• Pulls a Batman on April^S1E3
  • Again^S1E16

Mechanical/Metalworking Skill

• Tricks out an armored car with the other turtles^S1E4
• Forges new swords^S1E20
• Forges new armor and weapons^S7E14
• Makes weapons and a windsurfer out of jungle supplies^S2E21

Precision Striking

• Discombobulates Hun by striking his ears^S1E8
• Uses a pressure point to knock out a giant alligator as a child^S1E19

General

• Trained in every weapon form^S2E12
• Uses a technique to slow his breathing and heart rate in order to survive without atmosphere^S2E3
• Flings an active landmine away from him with Donatello's staff^S3E9
• With the other turtles, defeats the Foot Mystics on the Astral Plane^S4E8
• The turtles were naturally resistant to a magic spell that made a demon invisible^S5E9
• Reconstructs what happened when Donatello and Splinter were attacked by the Foot in his mind in order to find where they have hidden, doing the same for Michelangelo and Raphael^S4E16

Gear

Swords

• His trademark swords^S1E1
  • Bounces back a laser beam^S1E3
  • Blocks shots from Triceraton blasters, which blow a large hole in a stone ceiling^S2E5
  • Witshands clashing against the Ultimate Ninja's kusarigama chain, which snapped a lamppost in half^S2E10
  • Withstands clashing against the Ultimate Ninja's swords, which cut through a bridge cable^S2E10
  • Blocks blasts from a robot^S2E15 that blew a hole in a wall^S2E14

Fast Forward

When the turtles and Splinter are brought into the year 2105, they are given special gear that provides them with a personal atmosphere, gravity regulators, and a universal translation device as well as futuristic versions of their traditional weapons

• Fires energy blades from his swords that cut through concrete^S6E2
• Cuts through a ring post^S6E4
• Cuts through a mech suit's leg^S6E10
• Cuts a monster's teeth^S6E22
• Cuts through metal cuffs^S6E22
• Throws them to cut through chain^S6E9
• Evaporates water with a sword, creating a smokescreen^S6E16

Cyberspace

When the turtles enter cyberspace, they use special armor and vehicles

• The vehicles can track energy signatures like Splinter's data bits or the Cyber Shredder^S7E3
  • The vehicles drive up falling rubble^S7E10
• Stabs his cyber swords into a data stream^S7E3
• His swords destroy Cyber Shredder's arms^S7E10
• In cyberspace, the turtles are capable of teleporting^S7E3

Chi

After training under the Ninja Tribunal, the turtles gain the ability to tap into their chi to enhance themselves

Enhancing Physicality

Though Leonardo is never seen using his chi to enhance himself physically, he received the same training as the other turtles and by all accounts should be capable of replicating their feats

• Raphael grabs a large stone golem and swings it into another, shattering both^S5E4
• Donatello punches through a large stone golem, shattering it^S5E4
• Michelangelo performs Hisomi's speed technique to reach a guarded cask unseen^S5E2
  • Hisomi used this technique to cross a 200 yard bridge so fast that nobody watching him saw him move^S5E2
• Michelangelo matches Hisomi's speed^S5E4
• Michelangelo saves Karai from a snake strike^S5E8

Dragon Form

By focusing his chi, Leonardo is able to manifest and embody his spirit animal, the dragon, on the physical plane

Fire Breath

• With the other turtle-dragons, matches a blast from Tengu Shredder with his fire breath^S5E8
• With the other turtle-dragons, blasts Tengu Shredder through the roof of a skyscraper with his fire breath^S5E8
• Blasts dragon Tengu Shredder through several buildings with his fire breath^S5E12

Physicals

• Gets blasted by dragon Tengu Shredder^S5E12
• Tackles dragon Tengu Shredder through some buildings^S5E12
• Destroys Tengu Shredder's helmet by stomping on it^S5E12

Misc

• Summoning his dragon spirit destroys nearby nezumi tengu^S5E4

Gunshin

Gunshin is a mystical sword and is the weapon that Faraji received from the Dragon Forge. Faraji gifted Gunshin to Leonardo on his deathbed, claiming that the sword was always meant for him

• Evaporates a river^S5E2
• Disintegrates a giant demon^S5E5
• Disintegrates the Wind Herald^S5E11
• Destroys a giant robot^S5E10
• Holds open the Herald's portal^S5E5
• Puts out the ring of fire surrounding him^S5E11

After a 1940 defined by gathering strengths and refinement across the feature, the early months of 1941 bring a few troubling portents behind-the-scenes for Fox's affectionately termed Grainy Gladiator. Nothing ruinous in itself, but signs of an upcoming radical shift away from what the character represented to start.
For one, the April issue of Adventure Comics (#61) brings with it a new cover feature, Ted Knight AKA Starman, courtesy writer-artist Jack Burnley. Already the second lengthiest entry in the book at nine pages, Starman quickly managed what neither Sandman nor Hourman could during their respective years as star attractions and upgraded to a full thirteen pages by his third appearance in #63. For context, Sandman only went from six pages to ten with its upgrade, while Hourman has remained rockstaedy at eight pages, and neither took down another non-superhero supporting feature to justify the page increase like Starman did Barry O'Neil and Mark Lansing. Moreover, from Starman's second appearance on, he is only drawn by Burnley; writing duties now belong to the Sandman's own Gardner Fox.
Which loops in with two other issues at play over Wesley's tossing, turning figure. Starting with issue #61, available online sources no longer fully agree who wrote what for the Sandman feature. You must understand, outside superstar figures with major pull like the creators of Superman or Batman, very few creative teams are properly credited in these Golden Age comics - my credits the last few posts have all been crossreferenced across numerous wikis and databases who owe their credits to investigative work by fans like Jerry Bails back in the 1960s. Such work was sadly not exhaustive, and while a few places (like DC Continuity Project and Wikipedia) state or else imply Fox stayed on as writer for the next few issues, from June to November there is no consensus as to who penned the stories.
I shouldn't be surprised if Fox's involvement terminated with the March issue, for April also saw All-Star Comics shift its format slightly, with Fox writing all nine interior stories for the 64 page mag in addition to his duties on the longer Starman feature. Man would have to work double time to keep pace, even if Sandman didn't drop to eight pages with #62 in May. Either way, Fox is certainly gone following #64 in July, as that issue features the final story drawn by regular artist and co-creator Creig Flessel, who departs to work on Shining Knight later in the year. As I say, things are changing fast for Sandman, and not all changes seem necessarily for the better. Best, however, to take the stories on their own level before drawing any final conclusions!
^{Coverage note: This entry goes to July rather than June for the sake of my sanity. If I stopped midway through the year, I'd only need cover seven features here, but the back half of '41 would require coverage of eleven. A nine-nine split feels much more feasible.}

• ADVENTURE COMICS #58 (January)

Orchids of Doom - Gardner Fox, Creig Flessel, Chad Grothkopf

Once again, a socialite friend to Wes and Dian is at the center of a minor mystery with big implications - namely, how can Pedro Nogades, father to Carla, rightly claim he breeds otherwise purely wild orchids in captivity? Investigating as the Sandman, Wes and Dian find a dead man in the Nogades greenhouse with his head stripped to the bone, and in following another fellow who sniffed an orchid before promising a shipment of such to some ruffians on the bad side of town, see his own face dissolve to bare skull. A visit to the police chemist reveals the orchids on the dead men's persons were laced to release a deadly flesh-eating gas on exposure to natural air, which is enough probably cause for Wesley to enlist Carla's boyfriend Bill in staging a raid on the Nogades manor. Some close shaves and fisticuffs end with the group discovering a diorama of the local coast, laid out to assist enemy agents in an invasion. Pedro is put away and the orchids revealed as concealing microfilm copies of the coastal plans, but how do we square the mystery that started it all? Simple: Nogades was no botanist, and called the flower by the wrong name when concocting his cover story!
An alright yarn to kick of the calendar year. As per usual when Fox tries for a somewhat complicated mystery, he's no adequate means of tying off loose ends other than large blocks of text, but it's lively and keeps the situation evolving with decent justifications for mid-story action and dragging Bill along for further fisticuffs. Hooking the entire mystery on, "Oh, the bad guy misspoke," is a tad lame, if understandable in the context of Fox's passion for slipping general knowledge flexes into his stories. Flessel and Grothkopf get some good mileage out've the skull imagery that crops up whenever the flower kills, and I rather like the brief bout of fisticuffs towards the end. The minor social awkwardness when Bill gets in the car with Wes and Dian is pretty good too, and I'm sorry to report I can't add this story to the "Wesley getting shot" count, as the bad guy only plugs his hat. Kinda funny having a Golden Age Sandman story involving orchids given Neil's own pre-Sandman work with Black Orchid, innit?

• ADVENTURE COMICS #59 (February)

The Story of the Flaming Ruby - Fox, Flessel, Grothkopf

There exists a ruby of blazing red, which has driven men to rage and madness wherever it appears, and today it sits in the hand of a young man in the local jeweler's shop, who flashes it cross Dian's vision. Later in the evening, she wakes in a trance consumed with the urge to kill her father, stopped only by Sandman as he rushes in from investigating a similarly queer case. A bank teller friend from his private life has found himself driven to steal from the vault and deliver it to some crooks on a lonely road every night, all after one of those men flashed him the ruby. Wes and Dian are unable to stop this night's transaction (on account of the ruby briefly turning Dian against Sandman), but seeing the gem in action gives Wes an idea on how to counteract its effects, and go into battle during the next drop armed with blue cobalt glasses. A brawl puts down all the blackmailers except one, but Wes opts instead to go after the head of the operation, knocking him out and lurking in the dark to catch the last as he reports in, revealing the bank teller! Turns out the ruby DOES have hypnotic properties and was used to assist their robberies, but the teller - hoping by playing at the victim to lure Sandman into his cohorts' midst and rub him out - spoke as if he remembered the whole experience, where Dian forgot herself on every exposure. Oops!
Same basic mystery structure and resolution type here as last month, complete with overly-wordy explanation, although I find the hook of pitting Dian and Wesley against one another gives it a minor leg up, as does the relatively straightforward nature of the criminal operation compared to planting microfilm in deadly flowers. There's a more even balance between the rush in bust 'em up style of crime-fighting the feature has developed and the stealthy skullduggery I think suits the character best, with nice action art to match each. Dian has some silly faces whenever she wakes from her hypnosis, and the four panel sequence of Wes halting her murder attempt works pretty well. This is, unfortunately, the final pencil-inking collaboration between Flessel and Grothkopf, and much as I've kvetched over the second man's solo work, I'm sorry to see the back of him in this capacity. When the two were in proper tune, they were the best artistic team Sandman enjoyed yet.
(Stop dodging bullets, I want to see you gunshot.)

• ADVENTURE COMICS #60 (March)

Mystery at Malay Mac's - Fox, Grothkopf

^{Hey, a rare post-Hourman, pre-redesign cover appearance! That's always nice. "Hello, officer? Yeah, coupla chucklefucks right here, the alley off Fourth, can't miss 'em."}
What's this? Dian breaking into a notorious criminal slumlord's safe in the bad part of town? A safe, as Wes discovers after he scares the lady off, filled to the brim with poison gas! Evidently not, as Dian is sound asleep when Wes arrives at Belmont manor to investigate, and a subsequent visit to Mister Mac reveals the only person who'd know the safe was booby-trapped is a local kidnapping organizer. Some blind, flailing fists turns up the girl, Dian's perfect duplicate, snatched from out of state to replace Dian and gain leverage over the cops. Too bad the kidnapper's made of strong stuff, knocking out Sandman and taking both woman for a ride to get back at Mac. Fortunately, Dian leaves Wes a trail of jewelry out the window, enabling him to follow and take down all the crooks with one throw of his gas pistol, revealing in the process 'twas Mac himself who tipped Dian's duplicate to his safe, in hopes of spoiling his rival's big plot.
Art-wise, this is probably Grothkopf's best work for Sandman to date. His tendency to exaggerate is translated into some properly goonish faces for the villains and really, really strong action poses, with some properly atmospheric shots sprinkled in for good measure. He cannot draw the gasmask for piss, but there's such an improvement I almost thought this was a Flessel joint before checking the wiki credits. Makes me wish we could see what he'd do if he kept on as a solo artist - free from the impulse to treat the feature as a cartoon, he produces damn fine work. As a story, this makes good time to mention my misgivings with Wesley's tendency to burst through windows and start swinging long before he thinks to use his sleeping gas. While it's great fun to describe and hype up as the mark of a madman who's even cooler as the badass normal than Batman, it also encourages a faster degradation in the character's identity. I'm sure you'll notice it's been yonks since lurking in the shadows and thinning the ranks by knocking them out in advance has factored into the stories. That Wes handles the bad guy by literally clonking him over the head with the gas gun rather than pulling the trigger speaks to the influence other, punchier superhero features have exerted over the strip.

• ADVENTURE COMICS #61 (April)

The Menace of the Metal Gun - Fox?, Flessel

From aboard a mysterious aircraft, a madman fires upon the city with a metal-melting ray that dissolves the skyscrapers into slag! Alerted to Doctor Borloff's activities, Wesley meets with swift defeat when the rogue scientist melts his gas gun and escapes in his cylindercraft to terrorize afresh. There IS a bright side, as seeing the ray firsthand gives Wesley some idea how to counteract its effects, and he sends Dian and her father warning for the local airforce to coat their planes in sand as a silicate buffer against the ray. Alas, only one officer heeds his message, leaving Sandman alone to get aboard the machine via his new wirepoon gun and defeat Borloff from within. For his brawling process, a good midflight fight is nothing if the hero gets tossed out an open door, but fortunately he can grapple onto the lone surviving plane, recover his bearings, zip back up, and put a stop to Borloff's dreams of world conquest once and for all!
Action is the name of the game here, and even without Grothkopf's inking enhancements, I think Flessel does a fine job on his own. I'm wary of the wirepoon in the future, as by year's end it will completely replace the gas gun as Sandman's sidearm of choice in further drift from the original Christman concept, but taken as a neutral in its debut, giving Sandman greater aerial mobility does lead to some cool shots and enhance the sense Wes goes stark bananas in the mask by pulling some stunts that would almost certainly pull his arms from their sockets in real life. There are, however, some particularly stiff action shots, and in one panel Flessel cocks up the design on the mask worse than Grothkopf last ish. Based on the opening vignette, Borloff decimated millions of innocent lives in addition to all the planes he melted out of the sky, making him easily the deadliest foe Wes has faced to date, and in turn making the "We did it, gang, everything is bright and peachy again!" ending sorta offputting. They'll have to organize mass funerals tomorrow, Wes. Show a little respect.

• ALL-STAR COMICS #4 (April)

For America and Democracy: The Grey Shirts - Fox, Grothkopf

In the top-level story, the JSA learn of their mission for the FBI: a group of Nazi insurgents known as the Grey Shirts are plotting subversive and destructive activities all across America, and are now posed to badly destabilize the nation in a series of disruptive attacks. Each is assigned a mission at critical points cross the nation, though given the widely-ranging disparity in their powers, their usefulness to the cause varies equally wildly. The Atom humiliates some goons spreading Nazi ideology at a single college, Hawkman barely prevents the destruction of an aviation plant in California, and Hourman's defense of an Oklahoma oil field ends with him toppling one of the oil towers to stop his quarry. Meanwhile, Green Lantern detonates a zeppelin secretly jamming radio transmissions nationwide, the Spectre casually annihilates some otherworldly vampiric globes sympathetic to Hitler's cause, and Doctor Fate uses his magic to out every single spy on the eastern seaboard. Uneven efforts or not, the group converge on the Grey Shirts' ringleader, and with a little help from Johnny Thunder, turn him over to good ol' J. Edgar Hoover's custody. Alas, Wesley does not get the blood he's thirsting after.
(Also Doctor Fate alerts Wesley to the identity and location of the ringleader before his mission starts rather than letting him figure it out on his own like everyone else. Prick.)
For his six-page leg of the assignment, the Sandman is off to El Paso, Texas to assist a local newspaper under threat from the Grey Shirts for printing pro-democracy and anti-Hitler editorials. Of course, this being Wesley Dodds on the job, he gets this information by roughing his way into the newspaper offices, then acts on it by beating on the guard at the Grey Shirts' camp and pounding down a band of brainwashed young men to prove he's a better American than them. After sending the wannabe Nazis for a whirl by running their bomb shipment off the road, Wesley doubles back to completely break the recruits' spirits, daring them to prove their hard enough by shooting an unarmed man in Hitler's name, chiefly himself. When none can cut the mustard, he marches them back into town with collars strapped to his car, and inspires the lot to join the Army to a few shirtless bars of "God Bless America."
Cripes but jingoism produces some heady results, doesn't it? I'm not sure I can rightly condone the ridiculous levels of patriotism on display here, even against such classically anti-American enemies as Nazis, yet at the same time, look at this and tell me it isn't the hardest shit you'll see all week. Again, though I've my misgivings about Wes as a brawler no matter how entertaining the results prove, there's something endearing about him being so raring for a fight his first move is to altercate the receptionist at the place he's assigned to defend. On the whole, Grothkopf's final Sandman contribution also shows refinement from his earlier works, the broader, thicker elements of his linework now tempers on a somewhat more grounded approach. Certainly the Sandman himself keeps a consistent look better than he does in any other issue published thus far this year. I DO notice he reused Flessel's design for the District Attorney wholesale on the newspaper publisher. Since he's going and heading out on a job well done, let's not hold it against him, eh?

• ADVENTURE COMICS #62 (May)

The Purple Death Ray - Fox?, Flessel

At the nightly planetarium show, a member of the audience screams and falls down dead, stricken by a litany of strange symptoms with no obvious cause. Wesley, believing the man was killed by a death ray, examines the auditorium's projector, only to find no obvious alterations or fault. Undeterred, he purchases himself a seat next to the murdered man's for the next show, which is now occupied by another fellow who received a last-second courtesy invitation. Acting quickly, the Sandman reexamines the projector from the shadows and finds a replacement bulb screwed into the socket pointed directly at the man's chair. With assistance from his wirepoon, Sandman swings down and wrenches the man from his seat just as the show starts, the bulb bathing his seat in deadly radiation. On learning the man is a former judge and the deceased a former DA, it's not long before Wes ferrets out the killer; it's the cashier, a former scientist sent to jail for misappropriating university funds years ago, out for revenge and now stopped cold.
See, while I'm skeptical about the growing presence of science-fiction elements in the series, they make fine fodder when they play to Sandman's strengths. Lurking high above a crowd of people seeking the answer to some deadly mystery is exactly Wes' bag, and plus or minus some strange mask drawings, Flessel captures that thrill of closely examining a big deadly machine in secret before it fires. I'd submit the page where Sandman saves the judge from the beam as an easy contender for best of the year thus far, and the shot where Wes pushes Dian away from the killer's bullet is another fine piece of work. My memories of this one before sitting down to reread and write were a lot chillier, probably because I wish the series remained in crime pulp rather than raygun pulp, but a good outcome is a good outcome. Seriously, though, why is the mask going so bobble-eyed of late?

• ADVENTURE COMICS #63 (June)

The Voodoo Sorcerer - ???, Flessel

As Dian and Wesley tiff over his interest in an exotic dancer they know through a mutual friend, the woman's tail-lashing dance is interrupted when she sees a great glowing triangle materialize before her eyes. With the shock straining her bad heart, the Sandman brings her to boyfriend's house, where he reveals the triangle is a voodoo witch doctor's means of accusing someone of murder - just as news comes over the wire that the man the woman lashed with her costume tail has died! Smelling a rat, Wes rushes to the scene of the crime to find the taile barbed with poison quills, only for the titular sorcerer to bumrush him out the window. It's a big misunderstanding, thankfully: he's as shocked by the murder as Sandman, and only summoned the triangle on suggestion from an acquaintance, forgetting the dancer would know its significance through her partner. By happiest coincidence, this provides Wesley the solution to the mystery right quick, for only his friend's chauffeur would have motive, opportunity, and knowledge to frame his employers and their associates for the murder of a stock broker who owed them money.
Hmm, ah, see, on the one hand, it IS nice that the voodoo guy is innocent of everything except a lapse in judgement and the real twist is an unassuming little man exploiting the mystery and fears around the craft to cast suspicion off his person. On the other hand, eek, yike, zoinks! None good. Bad, even. Outside unfortunate depictions of non-white persons from the 1940s, the story's pretty weak for a murder mystery, as numerous elements are evidently known to the characters well in advance, yet only made clear to the reader right before they become relevant, like the exact identity of the murdered man. It's only eight pages, so there's little opportunity to piece information together on your own time, and as such it is heavily reliant on narrative cheats to generate cheap surprise. About the best thing here is the big page-dominating panel of Wesley swinging through the city on his wirepoon, unconscious woman tucked under arm. Kinda hard to convincingly raise my dander about what it means for the character and his feature when it's successfully operating on the long-standing principle of "masked mystery men swinging on a wire through skyscrapers looks really cool." S'like a solid fifth of the formula behind why Spider-Man is so enduringly popular.
(Also not a big fan of how Wes dismisses Dian from participating in the case without any adequate reason why. She calls him out over it, even, and nothing in the story justifies his decision to fly solo on this one.)

• ADVENTURE COMICS #64 (July)

The Unseen Man - ???, Flessel

Dian's purchase of paints from a local hobby shop includes quite the unusual accidental item: a paint that turns anything and everything invisible on contact. Determined to solve this mystery on her own, Dian investigates the shop with the dealer's cooperation, only for the dread Unseen Man to get the drop on her. Fortunately, Sandman is there to save her because he won't let Dian do anything on her own; unfortunately, Dian doesn't know Wes can see her attacker through his blue cobalt lenses and pulls him away, thinking him mad and letting the Unseen Man go free. As reward for her screw up, she's targeted in her home the next night, only for Wes to barge in again, having anticipated the only possible secret identity for the crook would make him likely to strike back at Dian. It is, unsurprisingly, the hobby shop owner, who Wes turns over to the police before heading out to patent his invisibility paint with the United States Army.
Alright, it's definitely not Gardner Fox writing anymore, because I cannot imagine Fox treating Dian so poorly. I gave her some dignity in summary, but this story is plain dumping all over her as a fussy, incompetent tryhard who fails at investigating on her own on account her womanly ways. Just look at the sheer antagonism between her and Wes; you two are partners, she's saved Sandman's skin like a dozen times, worn his costume and wielded his gas gun to do it once, even! Don't try to BS me into thinking Wes would run this paternalist "let me handle it, Dian, I wear the pants in this relationship" crap on her. You're only alive because she's worn your fucking pants. Otherwise, 'nother instance where the story and art alike don't give me much of note. I reckon Flessel was about done with the series with Fox gone and sorta phoned in his last few assignments. They're nowhere near the standard of his early solo artistic duties on the title. There IS another good wirepoon swinging shot, if one counterbalanced by a crummier instance with yet another weirdly-proportioned mask.

• ALL-STAR COMICS #5

The Mysterious Mr. X: The Kidnapper's Union - Fox, Cliff Young

The Justice Society are bored. Bored, bored, bored. Why are they bored? There is no crime. Not a single ruffian or scoundrel or roughneck lawbreaker anywhere in the city! Where did crime go? Crime has taken an enforced vacation, courtesy the plans of big crime boss Mister X (hats off), as prelude to his scheme for taking out the JSA and putting all his criminal enterprises back on easy street. It's quite the collection of rackets out against the superheroes - an arsonist ring for Flash, a jewel snatching gang for Hawkman, leader of the phony fortune teller underworld against Doctor Fate, even hard-pressing gym membership shakedowns for the Atom! Naturally our heroes triumph, though every one also encounters a strange little man idly strolling through their battlegrounds. He's so omnipresent despite his mousiness, he's even there when they convene at the police station to organize Mister X's (hats off) arrest. Except this unassuming slip of a man? He IS Mister X (hats off), and with the Justice Society having taken all the fun out've crime, he's turning himself in to live comfortably on the state's dollar in jail. WHOOPSY-DOODLE!
For his six-page part in the game, Sandman must contend against the kidnapper's union, who naturally enough have abducted Dian to get his attention. Not only have these lowlives taken Dian hostage (though she doesn't particularly mind), they've taken out phony accident insurance claims against themselves should the hero injure any of them en route to his untimely death! Nobody quite expects Wes to avoid the sniper-guarded roads to their remote hilltop hideout, though, and a quick wirepoon swing over the canyon (complete with Mister X - hats off - sighting) puts him right in the criminal den. From there, it's a simple biff wham boom to take down the punks and disarm their supporting fire. Alas, Sandman is once again only in the loop on the true nature of the threat against the JSA because someone notifies him from their own investigation, this time Flash via telegram. Let him do his own detective work, you pricks!
Right. You see these panels? You see Dian being calm and collected in the midst of a kidnapping operation? You see Wes trusting her with a submachine gun to keep watch on the fools who mean them harm? Yeah, THAT'S Fox writing Dian. Whoever's writing the Adventure feature at this time ought've taken notes. Artistically, Young makes a fine replacement for Grothkopf and Flessel in Adventure - he can match the first for goons, the second for action, manages a nice turnaround effect before Wes swings on his wirepoon, and even gives us a by-now all-too-rare heavy shadow shot on Wes and Dian. I'm a big fan of the lead kidnapper who calls the JSA the "Justiss Sassiety," and find this instance of Mister X (hats off) the second best in the book, behind only his appearance in the Hourman story, which I think speaks for itself. Probably the only time I'll express preference for something Hourman related over Sandman.
The loss of all three major contributors to the Sandman feature across early 1941 and the crunch down to eight pages has certainly made the Adventure Comics side of the Sandman line a rockier experience. It's still possible to derive enjoyment from the wonky mysteries and higher-concept criminals, but one must accept atmosphere and and particularity have been near-entirely sacrificed for generalized bombast and louder appeal. Don't misunderstand, I've become a fan of Wesley Dodds, Fist-Swinging Bullet Sponge, and my past praises for him aren't diminished by the realization of what this has done to his integrity as a character circa today's stopping point. The trouble is, while I enjoy this half-mad, impossibly reckless read on the character, it simply no longer bears any resemblance to the early days' lurking and creeping through the seedier parts of town. There's a great series of justifications running through the Sandman concept - he's no powers, so he uses the gas gun, so he needs the gas mask, which hides his identity so perfectly it frees him to wear the ordinary business suit, which highlights his vulnerability. Fling him around like a ragdoll who knows no fear of injury or death, although I'll clap for the bravado of it all, I must object if it means any notion he should be sneaky or cautious degrades.
Especially if it means the gas gun vanishes from the character. It hasn't met its final end just yet, but for this seven month block it's proven a very perfunctory aspect of the strip, hung by his side and occasionally brandished without acting as an integral part of the action or storytelling. The wirepoon has subsumed its function as the sidearm, and while I must stress there are plenty aces shots of Wes swinging that fully justify its prominence, taking precedence over the thing that makes him the Sandman, Crimefighter What Fights Crime By Putting The Criminals To Sleep plain rubs me the wrong way. Be awful nice i we could have both without the new toy putting the old out to pasture, y'know? It's not led to anything I'd full-throatedly object over just yet, but... ach, you'll see next time. Speaking of...
Next time! 1941 comes to a close as Wesley picks up another feature to his name, and also a stupid, ugly new costume!
(Previous write-ups: 1939, 1940 pt 1, 1940 pt 2)

Gabrielle, the Battling Bard of Potidaea

"I'm not really good at anything except… talking"

Bio: A farm girl with dreams of becoming a bard, Gabrielle's life was irrevocably changed when she was kidnapped by slavers and saved by Xena the Warrior Princess, a notorious warlord infamous for her brutality and ruthlessness. Xena, having just committed herself to fighting for the greater good, took Gabrielle, who longed for adventure outside of her sleepy town, with her on her travels. The pair formed a close romantic bond, pushing each other to grow as they traveled the land righting wrongs.
Fighting Style: Earlier in her travels with Xena, Gabrielle usually attempts to use her wits and charm to avoid fighting or make her foes fight each other. If that fails, she uses her battle staff to defend herself. After training with Xena and the Amazons, Gabrielle isn't hesitant to use her staff straight away, though she refuses to kill. Following her crucifixion, she takes up sai and is willing to kill foes if they pose a threat.
Hover over the feat for the source.

Physicals

Strength

Staff

• Knocks out Dark Xena^DX2
• Takes out men clad in the Armor of Hephaestus^S3E3
  • Armor of Hephaestus scaling
• Hits Xena's chakram through the arm of an alien^XAnnual
• Beats up a satyr^MO
• Hits Xena with a wood pole hard enough to break it^S1E20
• Swings through a spear shaft^WH2
• Breaks a crossbow^S1E22
• Knocks out two soldiers^S1E11
  • Again^S1E12
  • Once more^VC2
• Matches blows with a man who knocks out Joxer in one hit^S3E2
• Breaks the end off of a spear^S1E3

Striking

• Diverts strikes from Ares^S5E9
  • Ares was capable of matching a blow from Porphyrion, who made a large crater in stone^MO
• Cuts into stone with a sword^X4
• Breaks a padlock^S5E10
• Kicks a man onto a table hard enough to break it^S6E10
• Breaks a wooden pole^S5E20
• Kicks open a dungeon door^S6E6
• Breaks wooden planks^S2E16
• Breaks a staff over her knee^S6E14
• Kills a cannibal then cuts a rope with her sai^S6E6
• While possessed by a demon, kicks Xena a fair distance through a stall^S4E14

Lifting/Throwing

• Throws a stone bust hard enough to break it^S6E10
• Throws a sword through a soldier's armored chest^S5E2
• Kills two archers by throwing her sai^S5E19
• Embeds her sai in a tree^S5E9
• Throws her staff hard enough to knock out a man^HP2000
• Throws a rock hard enough to knock out a man^S1E18

Other

• Moves rocks from a cave-in^S6E8

Durability

Blunt

• Takes a punch from Ares^S5E9
• Gets hit by the Titan Hyperion kicking through a stone wall^S1E7
• Takes hits from Hades^S5E19
• Gets thrown by Goddess Callisto^S3E22
• Gets kicked by Velasca, an Amazon-turned-goddess^S2E19
  • Velasca is stronger than Xena^S2E19
• Gets telekinetically hit by Hope^S3E22
  • Hope's TK broke stone^S3E22
• Takes a hit from berserk Xena^S1E6
  • While possessed by a demon, takes a kick from Xena^S4E14
  • Gets hit into a stone wall hard enough to chip it by Dark Xena^DX1
• Takes hits from Grendel^S6E8
  • Grendel's mother, who is empowered by the same magic as he is, punched over a tree and swatted Xena through several trees^S6E7
• Takes a hit from a Proxidicae, one of Zeus' elite guard^S5E12
• Gets slammed onto a stone bench hard enough to shatter it^S5E21
• Gets hit by a hydra's tail, which smashes stone^VC2
• Gets pushed into a stone wall by a skeleton dragon hard enough to crack it^DT2
• Gets thrown by Eve^S6E3
• Gets kicked by Mavican^S5E3
• Takes a blow from Kal's, a God of War, enhanced warrior that sends her sliding back^S5E2
• Has a chair broken on her then takes multiple hits from Tara^S3E14
• Ok after being thrown from a chariot crash^S1E2
• Ok after falling out of a tree^S4E12

Piercing

• Gets hit by a Dragon Tooth soldier throwing thorns that tear through stone^DT1
• Gets attacked by a monstrous rabbit^S4E4

Heat/Energy

• Gets hit by a combined blast from Hades, Athena, and Hephaestus (she appears dead because she drank the Tears of Death, which put her into a magically induced death-like sleep)^S5E19
  • A blast from Hades evaporated Posiedon's giant water body^S5E22
• A clone seemingly survives a large explosion without a scratch^S6E16

Endurance

• Fights Alti even after being magically inflicted with the worst injuries she has had and will have in the future^S4E15
  • Alti killed men by doing the same to them^S6E18
• Continues to fight after being stabbed by a cannibal^S6E6
• Dances and howls at the moon all night^S5E17

Other

• Ok after the temple she's in collapses^S3E4
• Gets dragged behind Xena on her horse, getting pulled a great distance through a stall, a firepit, and even shattering a stone on her head^S3E12

Speed/Agility

Reaction/Dodging

• While possessed by a demon, dodges Xena's chakram^S4E15
  • Catches Dark Xena's chakram^DX3
• Blocks an arrow fired from behind^S1E23
• Dodges a blast from Valesca^S2E19
• Smacks a thrown javelin out of the air^S4E7
• Dodges several sword slashes^S3E14
• Dodges a cultist's sword swing and a thrown spear^S1E3
• Intercepts a thrown knife with a thrown sai^S5E3

Movement

• Beats down several barbarians before a thrown sack can fall^S3E18
• Runs away from several catapults firing at her^S6E15

Agility

• Swings on a rope then bounces off of an awning^S6E21
• Traverses a burning town by swinging on poles and ladders^S6E21
• Flips over a guard while grappling with him over her staff^S3E9
• Swings on a tree branch to kick a man in the head^TH4
• While possessed by a demon, recovers after getting flung by Xena^S4E14
• Carthwels to knock back some soldiers^S5E10
• Does a flip off of her staff^S3E13
• Pole vaults through a barred window out of a burning tavern^S3E5
• Pole vaults over a rolling cart^S1E18
• Pole vaults across a temple to reach Hope before Xena can stab her^S3E22
• Pole vaults over a pit of fire^S1E3

Intelligence/Bard Skill

Quick Thinking

• Tricks some pursuing cultists into killing each other^S1E3
• Sets up Augustus Caesar so that he has to let Xena and her friends go free or else look bad in front of his people^EX6
• Tricks some guards so that she can escape^S1E18
• Tricks a portly man into flinging a barrel of water that she could not^S3E9

Silver Tongue

• Talks some cultists into killing each other^S1E3
• Talks a cyclops out of eating her^S1E1
• Talks an angry mob out of killing Xena^S1E1
• Talked her parents into buying her a pony when she was five^S1E14

Bard Skill

• The Xena Scrolls, Gabrielle's written accounts of the adventures she and Xena share, are wildly popular in their time^S3E10 and were the basis for a tv show in the modern day^S2E10
• Captivates a crowd of bards with her story^S1E13
• Correctly reads an incantation to free some Titans after another woman failed^S1E7
• Plays the pan flute^S1E18

Intelligence

• Comes up with a plan to save a farm town from an invading warlord, directing the town to set up a bunch of traps^S1E18
• With Xena, tricks Death into appearing before her so she can trap her^S5E19
• Implied to have come up with atomic theory^S3E4
• Invents charades^S3E14

Combat Skill

General

• Trained in staff fighting with Amazons^S1E10
• Recounts a fight by looking at the tracks left on the ground^S1E18
• In the series finale, finally reached the level of skill necessary to catch Xena's chakram^S6E22

Pressure Points

• After Xena uses a pressure point to cure her seasickness,^S2E21 she uses it to help another man^S3E4
• Resuscitates Xena with a pressure point after she temporarily killed herself with a pressure point^S6E2
• Learns how to do Xena's pressure point pinch^S6E21

vs Groups

• Defeats a horde of a warlord's soldiers^S1E21
• Defeats several of Indrajit's demons^S4E16
• With Xena, fends off the combined armies of the Temples of Apollo, Athena, and Poseidon^S5E13
• Beats up a group of soldiers with Xena and Autolycus^S3E20
• Defeats a group of soldiers with a rope^S5E8
• Fends off a group of satyrs^WH1
• Defeats several Roman soldiers^S4E7
  • Again^S4E21
  • Once more^S5E21
• Beats up some of Kal's soldiers^S5E2
• Defeats Chin soldiers^S5E6
• Takes down some Greek soldiers^S1E12
• Defeats several mercenaries^S1E10
• Defeats some Philistine soldiers^S2E3
• Defeats some of Callisto's soldiers^S2E5
• Fends off some bandits^S2E18
• Beats some temple guards^S3E9
• Defeats some pirates with a mop^S2E19
• Defeats two of Cleopatra's guards^S3E8
• Defeats two bounty hunters^S3E1
• Takes down two bandits^S1E18
• Easily takes down two guards at once^HP2000

vs Single Foes

• Defeats the samurai lord Morimoto in a single stroke^S6E22
• Fights the valkyrie Brunhilda, making her cut herself with her own sword^S6E7
• Beats a valkyrie^S6E8
• Beats a pirate with a chair^S2E19
• Demolishes Tara in a fight^S3E14
• Disarms a soldier^S1E17
• Escapes the hold of a woman holding a knife to her throat^HX13
• Disarms Meg with a kick^S2E6

Accuracy

• Grabs bolas out of the air with her sai and throws them back^EX2
• Kills a Roman soldier with a spear^S4E21
• Throws her staff to disarm a warlord^S1E21
• Pins Lachrymose's sleeves to a tree with thrown sai^S5E11
• Kills two archers by throwing her sai^S5E19
  • Again with one^HX6
• Throws her staff to take down Crassus^S3E16
• Wraps up a man's feet with thrown rope^S4E21
• Ricochets a stone off of various objects to ring a bell^S2E16
• Kills a stag with a bow and arrow^S5E5
• Wraps a samurai's neck with a whip and pulls him towards her^S6E22
• Throws a rope onto a stone spire on a wall^S5E2

Misc Skill

• Learned to read trails from Xena^S3E10
• Tracks the group that took Xena^S5E2
• Senses that Hope, her evil daughter, is hiding behind a stack of crates^S3E11
• Hears an army approaching^S6E21
• Steals the ring off of Autolycus', the King of Thieves, finger^S1E17
• Sneaks into Khan's camp undetected^S5E7
• Picks a lock^S1E20
• Creates a salve to ease the pain of a woman's amputated arm^S4E7
• Stitches a wound^S1E24
• Grabs a pouch of black powder out of Joxer's pants with her feet while in stocks then grabs a rock as well^S5E6
• Kicks a falling urn into her hands^S6E22

GeaPowers

Standard Gear

• From seasons 1-4, she normally used an Amazonian fighting staff^S1E10
• After converting to pacifism in late season 4, she created a device from which she could blow a blinding powder^S4E18
• From season 5 onward, Gabrielle used a pair of sai^S5E2

Magic

Mehndi

While in India, Gabrielle how to apply the sacred skin paint Mehndi that imbued her and Xena with magic powers

• Applies Mehndi to her and Xena in the future, then they send Alti backwards in time to the present^S4E15
• Restrains Alti with bands of lightning^S4E15

Misc

• Learns the ritual to enter the Spirit World from Xena^S5E5
• Passes the test to become an archangel after she dies^S5E1

Period: 187.69 days

	Submissions	Comments
Total	1000	6982
Rate (per day)	5.33	37.12
Unique Redditors	48	878
Combined Score	25426	29352

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

1. 8359 points, 357 submissions: FarPiano9575
   
   1. This was US Marine combat veteran Ruben Gallego as violent MAGA insurrectionists were overrunning the Capitol on January 6th. He gathered fellow Democrats to prepare to fight if necessary. "I would have killed motherfuckers to save this democracy. Fuck those guys." (638 points, 128 comments)
   2. Students from Nashville-area high schools and colleges, including Belmont University and Vanderbilt U, are pouring into downtown Nashville to gather at the Capitol for another rally to call for safe gun laws following last week's mass school shooting. (112 points, 20 comments)
   3. Sen. John Fetterman is back. “Great to be here,” he says. (77 points, 9 comments)
   4. My friend's late father, at 18, fighting the Nazis in France. He was ANTIFA. (74 points, 16 comments)
   5. Fun fact: Speaker Pelosi won nine consecutive leadership elections—on the first ballot. (71 points, 7 comments)
   6. This is historically important and this is the first step in holding Trump accountable for his crimes. (67 points, 10 comments)
   7. "We're literally building bridges, and they're literally banning books." - Pete Buttigieg (64 points, 3 comments)
   8. Insurrectionist Marjorie Taylor Greene has just been placed on the House Homeland Security Committee. Does that make you feel any more secure? 😱 (64 points, 29 comments)
   9. Trump hid in an underground bunker while Americans protested in the streets. Joe Biden flew into the middle of a war in Kyiv, Ukraine on President's Day and walked the streets as air raid sirens blared. One man stands for world freedom and peace, while the other stood only for his narcissistic self (61 points, 14 comments)
   10. 200 students walked out of class at an Alabama high school after they were reportedly told their student-led Black History Month program could not reference slavery or the civil rights movement "because one of our administrators felt uncomfortable" (60 points, 10 comments)
2. 7529 points, 276 submissions: ProgressiveDemocrats
   
   1. Wow. Students are standing outside the Tennessee House right now and chanting, “Fuck you fascists.” Young people are absolutely pissed off & we are about to give Republicans hell like they’ve never seenZ We aren’t forgetting this. (814 points, 309 comments)
   2. President Biden just schooled Republicans by reminding them, “Ronald Reagan was doing the 28% tax rate, you know, that wacko liberal guy." Does anyone else love President Biden’s sense of humor? (122 points, 22 comments)
   3. JUST IN: Justin Jones has been voted BACK to the Tennessee State House by the Metro Nashville Council! The Council was responsible for choosing who would fill the seat until the special election, and they voted to select Jones. Right after the vote, Jones embraced the council members. (115 points, 14 comments)
   4. Holy shit. The former Lt. Governor of Texas, Ben Barnes, just came forward to say he was part of a secret Republican operation that convinced Iran to keep Americans held hostage in order to sabotage Jimmy Carter’s 1980 presidential campaign. (Link to the story in comments below) (84 points, 15 comments)
   5. As the Republican party tries to gaslight Americans into thinking Biden's State of the Union Address was terrible, note that 72% of Americans had a positive view of the Address. - That's leaps and bounds better than any Trump SOTU. - Joe Biden knocked it out of the park. (82 points, 6 comments)
   6. WOW. Absolute power move by Hakeem Jeffries. After Republicans kicked Ilhan Omar off of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Rep. Jeffries immediately put her on the House Budget Committee. Republicans messed with the wrong party and person. Rep. Omar won’t be silenced. (82 points, 19 comments)
   7. Way to go, Tulsa high schoolers!!🥳 (80 points, 9 comments)
   8. HOLY SHIT! Senate Judiciary Chair Dick Durbin is about to put the smackdown on SCOTUS Justice Clarence Thomas after revelations that he's been accepting luxury gifts from Republican donors and not disclosing them. 📢 (71 points, 14 comments)
   9. MAGAs are attacking Arnold Schwarzenegger for posting a video in which he condemns anti-Semitism after his visit to Auschwitz. It was a 12-minute video that was powerful, uplifting, and inspiring -- and Arnold doesn't even talk about politics. Why are they offended by this video? (71 points, 29 comments)
   10. BREAKING: In a SHOCKING move, two Texas Republicans just joined the Democrats to PASS the “Raise The Age” gun control bill out of committee in the Texas Legislature! That's right – TEXAS! (more in the comments) (64 points, 11 comments)
3. 2671 points, 84 submissions: Top-Bottle7403
   
   1. Jamie Raskin just destroyed Lauren Boebert with Donald Trump's OWN Words. Rep. Raskin is truly the greatest. (113 points, 15 comments)
   2. If you're randomly posting about World War III on Easter, you don't need to be running for the presidency, you need to run to a mental health provider. (99 points, 21 comments)
   3. BREAKING: Four members of the Proud Boys, including their former leader Enrique Tarrio, were convicted today of seditious conspiracy for plotting to keep Trump in power after his election defeat by leading a violent mob to attack the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021. (78 points, 8 comments)
   4. Jamie Raskin is owning MAGA Republicans, all while undergoing cancer treatment on a daily basis. He’s a true hero! Please drop a comment below ❤️ to show him your support. (72 points, 12 comments)
   5. Sometimes one image can say more than a thousand words (70 points, 6 comments)
   6. Wonderful people should get to hear the wonderful things about themselves while they're still with us. Jimmy Carter was the first President I cared about when I was a kid, and he's been an incredible human being ever since. Thanks President Carter, for living an exemplary life in service of others. (66 points, 7 comments)
   7. God has nothing to do with it. (64 points, 6 comments)
   8. Last month, DeSantis signed a bill that “will allow anyone who can legally own a gun in Florida to carry one without a permit. It means training and a background check will not be required to carry concealed guns in public. It takes effect July 1.” Get ready for more mass shootings in Florida. (63 points, 21 comments)
   9. The China spy balloon just sent back its first pics from Missouri (61 points, 8 comments)
   10. This 1977 image is of GOP Tennessee Gov Bill Lee dressed in drag. There nothing wrong with this, except for the fact that Bill Lee is about to sign a bill that will ban and criminalize drag in the state. - The image is from a high school yearbook. GOP hypocrisy just keeps getting worse and worse. (58 points, 11 comments)
4. 2598 points, 101 submissions: In-The-Middle12
   
   1. Eight years. No scandals. No impeachment hearings. No drama. Just class and grace personified. Let's let them know we miss this wonderful family. (79 points, 14 comments)
   2. If Republicans in the TN House can expel fellow members of the opposition party simply for protesting gun violence, then surely Democrats in the US House should be able to expel members of Congress for taking part in or aiding an insurrection, right? (79 points, 7 comments)
   3. BREAKING: Tesla has fired 30+ workers at its Buffalo gigafactory, one day after workers there announced a unionization campaign. -Tesla managers announced surprise performance reviews, then fired 8x as many workers as usual. - Tesla is notorious for union-busting. (61 points, 6 comments)
   4. A five-hour police delay in alerting the public that the Monterey Park, California, dance hall killer was on the run is throwing a spotlight on the nation's flawed, patchwork system for warnings of mass shooters at large. (58 points, 7 comments)
   5. Can you find five people in any job outside of policing where one of them wouldn't have stopped the others from beating a man to death? There are no dentists or plumbers, or accountants who would've done that to Tyre Nichols. Only cops have been trained to think that's normal. (49 points, 10 comments)
   6. NEW: Some actually newsworthy footage that was just released in connection with a Jan. 6 trial of Ed Badalian, the InfoWars superfan whose buddy drove a stun gun into Mike Fanone's neck during the Capitol siege. From inside a trashed suite of Senate hideaway offices: (49 points, 7 comments)
   7. Texas Republicans just found out that if they secede from the Union, they lose all their government checks. Say what!! The right-wing Republicans are now double-thinking this move. (49 points, 15 comments)
   8. Oh my. A new video just surfaced that shows Rep. Nate Schatzline (R-TX), who wrote a bill to restrict drag shows, dressed in drag while skipping through a park wearing a black sequined dress. (48 points, 4 comments)
   9. When Trump was POTUS he was still renting an entire floor of Trump Tower to China’s largest state owned bank. They paid him 5.4 million while in office so y’all can STFU about Biden. (48 points, 3 comments)
   10. If you only share ONE post today, let it be this list of 156 House Republicans who voted to raise the retirement age for Social Security to age 70. -- Don't let them get away with it. - Make sure EVERYONE knows. (45 points, 1 comment)
5. 1121 points, 37 submissions: Safe_Salt9663
   
   1. This is not normal (81 points, 20 comments)
   2. D.C. should be a state. What do you think? (80 points, 19 comments)
   3. A corrupt Republican lawmaker has just been EXPELLED from the Arizona State Legislature over ethics violations, including some relating to election misinformation. (62 points, 11 comments)
   4. BREAKING: Wall Street Journal drops bombshell, reveals that Elon Musk’s Twitter is now a whopping $13 billion in debt due to Musk’s failed Twitter Blue grift and the wave of advertisers fleeing to “protect their brands” from Twitter’s toxicity. (click for more) (61 points, 16 comments)
   5. Walker’s campaign paid $595,600 to a company called ‘Jetts’ to supposedly charter private planes. However, Fox has learned that ‘Jetts’ is a defunct car wash that was owned by a Walker donor. (54 points, 12 comments)
   6. The stacked Supreme Court… (49 points, 5 comments)
   7. Another war I must’ve missed. (44 points, 14 comments)
   8. MAGA world is sharing this photo claiming 700K migrants are on their way to the US border. This is FALSE. This photo was taken on October 27, 2018, of Honduran migrants in Arriaga, Mexico, heading to the US. Under Trump's presidency. Just another lie from the GOP. (43 points, 7 comments)
   9. JUST IN: Far-right extremist Riley Williams has been sentenced to 3 years in prison for storming the U.S. Capitol on January 6 and directing a mob toward the office of then-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. (click for more) (41 points, 5 comments)
   10. Happy Sunday to everyone who knows that no sitting US President has ever attended the coronation of British royalty, so if you're trying to shame President Biden for not doing so, you're a complete dummy... Get a grip. (37 points, 4 comments)
6. 485 points, 17 submissions: Top_Bottle7403
   
   1. This is why every vote matters! (91 points, 18 comments)
   2. Thank you Senator Blumenthal for holding Clarence Thomas accountable — (49 points, 11 comments)
   3. Child labor is making a comeback in Republican-led states. That’s what THEY mean by “progress”. (47 points, 11 comments)
   4. A conservative city council has banned the LGBTQ+ flag from government property in Huntington Beach. Another attempt to marginal LGBTQ+ individuals. But hate cannot be allowed to win. Not in California. Not anywhere. (44 points, 13 comments)
   5. Donald Trump just called Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg "a Racist in Reverse," and claimed that Joe Biden pushed Bragg to prosecute him. He then made a call to “investigate the investigators!” (34 points, 13 comments)
   6. The Southern Baptist Convention decided Tuesday to oust Saddleback Church, the second-largest congregation of the convention, because it has a female pastor (34 points, 6 comments)
   7. I wonder what the MAGA zombies think when Trump says DeSantis is being disloyal. Do they then hate DeSantis? Do they think he’s part of deep state? Or do they think Trump is a senile, old man? There are no policy differences. So, do they weigh which one is owning the libs harder? (29 points, 9 comments)
   8. BREAKING: After taking heat for days trying to handle this on his own with Norfolk Southern and making it much worse, Gov. Mike DeWine finally relents and declares a disaster so he can get federal assistance. (25 points, 3 comments)
   9. Here’s my advice to everyone — like me! — who’s excitedly awaiting Trump’s indictment: Relax, and keep your popcorn ready. 🍿 (20 points, 9 comments)
   10. Good morning and Happy Saturday to everyone who agrees that it's better to be "woke" than to sleepwalk through life acting like a rude, obnoxious, selfish asshole. (18 points, 1 comment)
7. 288 points, 10 submissions: SetMau92
   
   1. Sanders Counters GOP Giveaways With Tax Hike on Estates of UltraWealthy"Over and over again, Republicans in Washington have professed their deep concern about the national debt and yet virtually all of them have signed onto legislation that would provide a $1.8 trillion tax giveaway to billionaires. (43 points, 2 comments)
   2. Senate Finance Chief: Nothing Unites GOP More Than 'Helping Rich People Cheat on Their Taxes' "It's a centerpiece of the ransom Speaker McCarthy has cobbled together as he threatens to trigger a catastrophic default," said Democratic Sen. Ron Wyden. (43 points, 11 comments)
   3. Audio Reveals Top GOP Lawyer's 2024 Strategy: Make It Harder for College Students to Vote "Instead of fighting for the people or actually earning the votes, Republicans' only plan is to try to 'combat' voting on college campuses," said Rep. Summer Lee. (39 points, 5 comments)
   4. All is not well in Florida... (35 points, 1 comment)
   5. Darn those pesky facts.. (33 points, 4 comments)
   6. Sanders and others Ramp Up 14th Amendment Pressure on Biden to Counter 'Reckless' GOP "Republicans have made it clear that they are prepared to hold our entire economy hostage unless you accede to their demands to reduce the deficit on the backs of working families. That is simply unacceptable." (29 points, 10 comments)
   7. GOP Debt Limit Bill Could Put Over 10 Million at Risk of Losing Medicaid: Analysis "This agenda would narrow opportunity, deepen inequality, and increase hardship," said the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities. (23 points, 2 comments)
   8. GOP Readies 'Shameful' Vote to Oust Omar From House Committee "You cannot remove a member of Congress from a committee simply because you do not agree with their views," said Rep. Pramila Jayapal. "This is both ludicrous and dangerous." (17 points, 2 comments)
   9. Progressive Young Voters to Biden: Energize Us and Win or Ignore Us and Lose "We need you to deliver the bold ideas that our generation cannot live without—stop the climate crisis, fight for the rights and dignity of immigrants, impose real gun control—and run on a bold platform." (17 points, 4 comments)
   10. Whitewash is to “gloss over or cover up,” (9 points, 1 comment)
8. 125 points, 4 submissions: blixt141
   
   1. Nebraska Republican Says Six-Week Abortion Ban Is Necessary Because White People Are Being Replaced (49 points, 9 comments)
   2. Supreme Court rolls back federal safeguards for wetlands under Clean Water Act (35 points, 13 comments)
   3. Where Things Stand: Biden Shreds McCarthy’s Performative Debt Limit Bill (33 points, 5 comments)
   4. Police: 11 shot, injured during mass shooting at South Carolina park (8 points, 1 comment)
9. 108 points, 5 submissions: Smelly-taint
   
   1. I love how the GOP wants to destroy everything that their own constituents benefit from. (33 points, 7 comments)
   2. Can't think of anything better than a dictator. 🤦🏽‍♂️ (30 points, 9 comments)
   3. Yes! Yes! Yes! (21 points, 28 comments)
   4. Woke? (13 points, 3 comments)
   5. Fuck these Anti Constitutionalist. Attack the Capital then attack my rights. (11 points, 20 comments)
10. 89 points, 6 submissions: Puffin_fan
    
    1. Idaho Republicans Deny Girls Free Tampons in School (28 points, 6 comments)
    2. GOP’s Proposed Expansion Of Work Requirements Targets Low-Income People In Their Early 50s Who Already Work (20 points, 3 comments)
    3. Finland's average electricity price slips into negative territory (14 points, 2 comments)
    4. 'I’m trying not to go into panic.' Review of millions of Medicaid enrollees plagued by error and confusion (10 points, 4 comments)
    5. After Signature Bank Deal, FDIC Is Left With $11 Billion in ‘Toxic Waste’ Loans (9 points, 3 comments)
    6. As Rail Profits Soar, Blocked Crossings Force Kids to Crawl Under Trains to Get to School (8 points, 0 comments)

Top Commenters

1. SpukiKitty (2210 points, 453 comments)
2. SqnLdrHarvey (1737 points, 394 comments)
3. In-The-Middle12 (1456 points, 284 comments)
4. Top-Bottle7403 (1301 points, 240 comments)
5. SmylesLee77 (1147 points, 294 comments)
6. ProgressiveDemocrats (1104 points, 204 comments)
7. FarPiano9575 (1090 points, 205 comments)
8. Alternative-Flan2869 (679 points, 178 comments)
9. HillbillyEulogy (588 points, 124 comments)
10. Biishep1230 (533 points, 101 comments)

Top Submissions

1. Wow. Students are standing outside the Tennessee House right now and chanting, “Fuck you fascists.” Young people are absolutely pissed off & we are about to give Republicans hell like they’ve never seenZ We aren’t forgetting this. by ProgressiveDemocrats (814 points, 309 comments)
2. This was US Marine combat veteran Ruben Gallego as violent MAGA insurrectionists were overrunning the Capitol on January 6th. He gathered fellow Democrats to prepare to fight if necessary. "I would have killed motherfuckers to save this democracy. Fuck those guys." by FarPiano9575 (638 points, 128 comments)
3. President Biden just schooled Republicans by reminding them, “Ronald Reagan was doing the 28% tax rate, you know, that wacko liberal guy." Does anyone else love President Biden’s sense of humor? by ProgressiveDemocrats (122 points, 22 comments)
4. JUST IN: Justin Jones has been voted BACK to the Tennessee State House by the Metro Nashville Council! The Council was responsible for choosing who would fill the seat until the special election, and they voted to select Jones. Right after the vote, Jones embraced the council members. by ProgressiveDemocrats (115 points, 14 comments)
5. Jamie Raskin just destroyed Lauren Boebert with Donald Trump's OWN Words. Rep. Raskin is truly the greatest. by Top-Bottle7403 (113 points, 15 comments)
6. Students from Nashville-area high schools and colleges, including Belmont University and Vanderbilt U, are pouring into downtown Nashville to gather at the Capitol for another rally to call for safe gun laws following last week's mass school shooting. by FarPiano9575 (112 points, 20 comments)
7. If you're randomly posting about World War III on Easter, you don't need to be running for the presidency, you need to run to a mental health provider. by Top-Bottle7403 (99 points, 21 comments)
8. This is why every vote matters! by Top_Bottle7403 (91 points, 18 comments)
9. Holy shit. The former Lt. Governor of Texas, Ben Barnes, just came forward to say he was part of a secret Republican operation that convinced Iran to keep Americans held hostage in order to sabotage Jimmy Carter’s 1980 presidential campaign. (Link to the story in comments below) by ProgressiveDemocrats (84 points, 15 comments)
10. WOW. Absolute power move by Hakeem Jeffries. After Republicans kicked Ilhan Omar off of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Rep. Jeffries immediately put her on the House Budget Committee. Republicans messed with the wrong party and person. Rep. Omar won’t be silenced. by ProgressiveDemocrats (82 points, 19 comments)

Top Comments

1. 26 points: KayleighJK's comment in Wow. Students are standing outside the Tennessee House right now and chanting, “Fuck you fascists.” Young people are absolutely pissed off & we are about to give Republicans hell like they’ve never seenZ We aren’t forgetting this.
2. 23 points: Similar_Candidate789's comment in Wow. Students are standing outside the Tennessee House right now and chanting, “Fuck you fascists.” Young people are absolutely pissed off & we are about to give Republicans hell like they’ve never seenZ We aren’t forgetting this.
3. 23 points: SpukiKitty's comment in Wow. Students are standing outside the Tennessee House right now and chanting, “Fuck you fascists.” Young people are absolutely pissed off & we are about to give Republicans hell like they’ve never seenZ We aren’t forgetting this.
4. 23 points: brotherstoic's comment in Should we be looking for someone other than Biden?
5. 23 points: moreobviousthings's comment in Holy shit. The former Lt. Governor of Texas, Ben Barnes, just came forward to say he was part of a secret Republican operation that convinced Iran to keep Americans held hostage in order to sabotage Jimmy Carter’s 1980 presidential campaign. (Link to the story in comments below)
6. 22 points: westofme's comment in Alex Jones transferred his assets to his family and friends, evading payments to Sandy Hook families. It should be illegal, but sadly, it's not.
7. 20 points: Explorers_bub's comment in The city of Franklin, Tennessee is voting whether to allow a Pride festival. Someone during public comment says it will result in “a rainbow room where 8-12 year-old kids are given butt plugs & dildos.” --- This is what GOP propaganda is doing.
8. 19 points: ProgressiveDemocrats's comment in Holy shit. The former Lt. Governor of Texas, Ben Barnes, just came forward to say he was part of a secret Republican operation that convinced Iran to keep Americans held hostage in order to sabotage Jimmy Carter’s 1980 presidential campaign. (Link to the story in comments below)
9. 19 points: westofme's comment in Another war I must’ve missed.
10. 18 points: HillbillyEulogy's comment in Please tell me whats wrong with this picture?

Generated with BBoe's Subreddit Stats

Baymax

"Hello, I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion"

Baymax is a healthcare robot created by Tadashi Hamada, a student at the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology. After Tadashi’s death, Baymax took Hiro, Tadashi’s younger brother, as his primary patient. When Hiro decided to build gear to become a superhero and bring the man who caused Tadashi’s death to justice, Baymax joined him, along with Tadashi’s former classmates, to become Big Hero 6, San Fransokyo’s premier superhero team.
According to side material, Baymax is 6’ 2" normally and 6’ 5" in the armor, though he sometimes seems to be larger than that.
Hover over the feat for the source. This is the list I’m using for the episodes.

Physicals

Strength

Striking

• Matches blows with Yokai’s microbots, sending the car he’s in skidding back
  • Yokai’s microbots can throw a car down a street and throw a giant chunk of concrete
• Staggers the giant Kentucky Kaiju animatronic
• Splatters Nega-Globby
• Crumples a speeding car
• Shatters a falling piece of concrete
• Breaks through concrete pillars
• Smashes Yokai’s microbot tendrils
  • Again
• Kicks a Noodle Burger Boy copy into the wall hard enough to make a crater and knock down a billboard
• Punches a Buddy Guard, a military-grade security drone, into a wall hard enough to destroy it
• An unarmored copy of Baymax smashes concrete with a punch
• Shatters a warehouse door with a kick
• Breaks boards and a table with strikes
• Unarmored, hits a tennis ball through afence

Lifting/Throwing

• Rips a hatch off of a giant animatronic and throws it out of sight
• Stops a shipping container from falling on his teammates
• Catches a falling shipping container
• An unarmored copy of Baymax flings a car through the air
• Catches the hammer of Baron Von Steamer’s spider mech and throws it back a bit
• Catches a falling turbine
• Catches Mega Yama as it’s falling, breaking the floor beneath him
• Rips a bolted-down statue out of the ground and flies off with it
  • Could lift the same statue unarmored, though the bolts were removed beforehand
• Catches a falling concrete pillar
• Can lift 1000 lbs
• Unarmored, easily lifts a couch with three people on it
• Easily lifts a tray Cass struggles to budge

Pushing/Pulling

• Stops a train being powered by an energy amplifier that makes machines powered by electricity overclock until they break
• Stops a giant chunk of concrete from crushing his teammates
• Stops a runaway cable car
  • Again
• Bends open the lid of an armored crate underwater
• Stops and breaks traps about to crush Hiro
• Bends train tracks

Rocket Fist

• Shatters a giant chunk of concrete
• Knocks several shipping containers into the air
• Punches himself back into a car hard enough to flatten it
• Puts a large hole in the front of a warehouse
• Destroys a statue and puts a hole in the wall behind it
• Punches through the tooth of the giant Kentucky Kaiju animatronic and embeds in a billboard
• Punches through a shipping container underwater
• Makes a crater in a metal wall
• Blasts through a pile of microbots
• Pushes a large pod a fair distance through a portal
• Destroys a Buddy Guard
• While malfunctioning, breaks a streetlamp in half
• Knocks over a stack of crates
• After being redirected by Globby, causes a large explosion
• Supersonic Sue uses it to bust through a prison wall

Clashing

• Clashes with Nega-Globby
  • Nega-Globby can smash and launch cars and launched Fred a far distance away
• Clashes with Mega Yama
  • Mega Yama could float through a concrete wall

Other

• Go Go, Wasabi, and Fred fail to hold him back while he is uninhibited and attempting to kill Yokai
• A newspaper in the credits shows him stopping a runaway cable car
• Breaks off a vault door and throws
• Catches a thrown I-beam
• Flexes out of the ice encasing him
• His wings cut through metal cables
• Grips onto the wings of Greg’s jet engine hard enough for it to tear itself apart

Durability

Blunt

• Takes his own rocket fist to the chest and is ok
• Fine after stopping a giant chunk of concrete thrown by Yokai from crushing his teammates
• Gets sent flying by Yokai’s microbots
  • Yokai’s microbots can throw a car down a street and throw a giant chunk of concrete
  • Takes another hit from Yokai’s microbots
  • Again
• While unarmored, gets tackled by Orso Knox and is fine
  • Knox can overpower Baymax, pushing him back in a clash and toss aside cars, however, Knox was not trying to hurt anyone in this episode
• Ok after getting launched high into the air and landing on an iceberg
• Ok after getting sent flying by Nega-Globby
• Gets swung into concrete and a stage by Yokai’s microbots
• Gets tail-slammed by the giant Kentucky Kaiju animatronic
• Gets shoved through several pillars by Obake’s robot and has the ceiling collapse on him and sustains only minimal damage
• Takes several blows from Supersonic Sue
• Gets embedded in stone by Baron Von Steamer’s spider mech
• Gets hit by Globby swinging Go Go
• Gets checked by Jaq
  • Jaq lifts two tires to work out
• Gets knocked back by microbots
  • Again
• Ok after crashing to the ground hard enough to tear up the sidewalk
• Gets swung into a glass wall hard enough to leave a crater by Noodle Burger Boy’s mech
  • Gets punched into another glass wall hard enough to leave a crater
• Tanks several blows to the face from a Noodle Burger Boy copy
• While unarmored, tanks blows from El Fuego
• Slamming into a large piece of rubble hard enough to shatter it breaks his armor, but he is still functioning

Heat/Energy

• Gets hit by Greg’s energy bazooka and is fine
  • Greg’s bazooka spun a yacht with an indirect hit
• Fine after taking two shots from Mega Yama’s plasma blaster and crashing through a wall
  • Mega Yama’s plasma blaster made a large hole in a reinforced concrete wall
• Gets hit by Noodle Burger Boy’s lasers
  • Again
  • Once more
• Gets blasted by Mechadama
  • Mechadama launches a box truck with a blast
• Gets blasted by Buddy Guards, though they break his armor
  • The Buddy Guards destroy desks and computers with their blasts
• A copy of Baymax no-sells Fred’s fire

Electricity

• Baymax has a notable weakness to electricity:
  • Baymax’s endoskeleton gets taken down by Yama’s thug’s stun rod
  • Malfunctions after getting blasted by High Voltage
• Despite this, there are times Baymax has resisted electricity:
  • Seems to be unaffected by electricity that floored the rest of his teammates

Other

• A news report calls copies of Baymax indestructible and are too much for the police to handle
• Unaffected by a swarm of bees

Speed/Agility

Reaction/Dodging

• Dodges blasts from Buddy Guards
  • Dodges blasts from invisible Buddy Guards
• Saves Go Go from High Voltage’s electricity, then dodges more
  • Dodges High Voltage’s electricity underwater
  • Dodges High Voltage’s electricity ball
• Dodges a Noodle Burger Boy copy’s lasers
  • Dodges more
• Dodges a plasma blast from Mega Yama
• Dodges a blast from Hardlight
  • Dodges more attacks
• Dodges a blast from Noodle Burger Boy’s mech
• Dodges sword swings from Momakase
• Avoids getting grabbed by Noodle Burger Boy’s mech
• Dodges Yokai’s microbots
  • Again
  • Once more
• Dodges Baron Von Steamer’s heat ray
• Dodges the Kentucky Kaiju animatronic’s fire breath
• Dodges out of the way of Supersonic Sue and Baron Von Steamer after being knocked over by Sue’s electric wave
• Dodges a charge from Orso Knox

Movement

• Catches Juniper after she launches herself across a bank at high speed
• Catches Baron Von Steamer’s spider mech hammer mid-swing

Agility

• Outside of combat, Baymax is notably stiff and slow

Flight

• Catches and surpasses a train being pushed over its limits by an energy amplifier
• Flies at high speeds through San Fransokyo, easily navigating through obstacles
• Flies at high speeds through a portal realm, avoiding debris
• Easily catches Greg’s jet engine, despite his head start
• Catches a runaway cable car
• Catches Wasabi before he can fall into molten iron

Skill/Misc

Accuracy

• Takes down all three Mad Jacks with a single rocket fist
• Uses rocket fist on a seat to knock a robot into the air
• Destroys a drone with a rocket fist while stuck

Misc

• Lies to protect Hiro

Ultra Armor

General

• The Ultra Armor is armor made by Hiro that is a titanium-enhanced version of the Super Armor, giving Big Hero 6 greater durability

Strength

Striking

• Punches a Buddy Guardian encased in a chem ball into others hard enough to knock them over
• Knocks back Mega Yama with a clothesline
• Punches away a rocket-powered magnet strong enough to embed in concrete

Lifting/Throwing

• Throws a monstrous Mayoi high into the air
• Catches a falling helicopter
• Throws a log, destroying several Buddy Guards
• Easily lifts an I-beam

Rocket Fist

• Punches Orso Knox through several wooden beams
  • Knox was barely moved by Fred jumping on his face
• Uses both rocket fists to punch Mega Yama into a prison wall hard enough to crater it
• Destroys several Buddy Guards with the initial strike and one on the return

Clashing

• Clashes with Bessie
  • Bessie can crumple a bank vault door, break a boulder in half and bust through several bank walls

Durability

Blunt

• Gets thrown by Bessie
  • Again
  • Gets punched and thrown
• Takes his own rocket fist unharmed
• Gets tackled by a monstrous Mayoi
  • Mayoi in their non-monstrous form can toss cars with their feet
• Gets slammed into a wall by a Buddy Guardian
  • Takes another hit
• Gets hit by Fred getting launched by Nega-Globby in Globby’s body
• Takes blows from Supersonic Sue
• Gets kicked and slammed by Mega Yama and is fine
• Tanks blows from El Fuego
• Gets punched by Trina, knocking him back into Hiro hard enough to make a crater in the concrete wall
• Takes a swing kick from Noodle Burger Boy
• Ok after the roof of a warehouse collapses on him

Other

• Defends his teammates from a giant explosion
• Gets blasted by Trina channeling electricity from the city’s turbines
• No sells multiple ping pong balls from Nega-Globby controlling Globby, who can hit them hard enough to leave a crater in metal

Speed/Agility

• Dodges Bessie’s electromagnetic beam
• Dodges lasers from Noodle Burger Boy
• Dodges a barrage of blasts from a group of Buddy Guards
• Dodges and catches the training room emulating Supersonic Stu
• Dodges El Fuego’s fireballs

Gadgets

Scanner

General

Medical Usage

• Identifies that Hiro has an epidermal abrasion
• Identifies Hiro’s allergies
• Scans Hiro’s hormone and neurotransmitter levels
• Scans Yokai’s blood type and cholesterol levels
• Determines that two women are an exact genetic match
• Scans a man’s DNA to determine that he is not Alister Krei
• Identifies Callaghan’s daughter as still alive in the portal realm
• Scans Obake’s brain damage
• Determines that a pathogen will soon reach a contagion level of 10
• Determines that "mysteryloaf" is safe for consumption
• Identifies how healed a woman’s rhinoplasty is
• Identifies that a boy is overproducing earwax
• Identifies a fracture in Hiro’s leg that a doctor did not
• Scans the microbes in a ball pit
• Takes a DNA sample from a monster’s saliva and cross-checks it against every known species to determine what it is

Identifying

• Scans Globby to determine what he is made of and how he controls his body
• Scans a cable car to determine what caused it to go out-of-control
• Scans a present to determine what is inside
• Identifies that Hiro is feeling guilty
• Scans a glass of water to determine the percentage it is filled
• Identifies a dung beetle
• Maps Orso Knox’s iris onto a monster to determine that it is him
• Matches a woman’s facial structure to a database to determine who she is
• Scans a skyscraper to determine if there is any ongoing construction
• Scans a piece of cheese to determine what it is
• Scans a Mayoi to determine that it is a plant-mammal hybrid

Locating

• Scans the city for the heat signature of graphene
• Attempts to scan for a man using biometric data from his picture, but is interrupted
• Locates Sirque miles away
• Scans a building to locate a device
• Tracks the RFID chip in Honey Lemon’s school ID card
• Scans the Lucky Cat Cafe and determines Cass isn’t there
• Scans a room for a specific device

Range

• Scans all of San Fransokyo for a match to Yokai
• Scans the city to locate Fred
• Locates Mochi on the bridge from the middle of the city
• Scans for Yama, locating him a far distance away
• Detects a disturbance 9 blocks away

Medical Tools

• Has defibrillators in his hands
• Uses an anti-bacterial spray on Hiro
• Has a heater in his body
• Has nasal spray in his hands
• Has ammonium chloride cold packs in his skin

Knowledge Database

• Is programmed with over 10,000 medical procedures
• Downloads information from the internet about personal loss treatment
• Hiro gave him a chip that contained karate techniques
• Hiro gave him a chip that contained superhero knowledge
• Hiro gave him a chip that contained dance knowledge
• Has knowledge about Muirahara Woods National Park

Misc Functions

• Tracks a heat signature
• Acts as a flotation device for his teammates
• Prevents Hiro from opening his chip slots
• Plays back video he recorded
  • Displays an image of a badge on his chest
• Keeps a record of how many times Fred has said "secret headquarters"
• Can tell when someone is lying
• Vibrates his arms to perform Shiatsu
• Has flashlights in his hands
• Sprays water out of his finger
• Acts as a trampoline
• Has a fire extinguisher in his hand
• Has a laser cutter in his hand
• Can adjust his volume, making himself loud enough to shake Hiro’s house
• Has multiple language settings
• Hiro builds him an underwater suit
  • Has a sonic blaster

Overdrive Mode

General

• Baymax can enter a powered-up state called Overdrive Mode, though using it quickly drains his battery
• Baymax can call a jetpack to him that boosts his flight speed and acts as an reserve battery, allowing him to stay in Overdrive Mode for longer
  • Seems to make a sonic boom

Sword

• Using his underwater suit, destroys the giant container of Baron Von Steamer’s mech
• Destroys part of a cage made with special bars and part of the wall outside it, kicking up a massive dust cloud and damaging the floor
  • Wasabi’s plasma blades can’t cut the bars
• Cuts several Buddy Guardians in half
  • Wasabi’s plasma blades barely scratch them
• Hits mutated Momakase, sending her flying through the air and kicking up a lot of dust
• Cuts through the legs of Baron Von Steamer’s spider mech

Physicals

• [Strength] Launches a bunch of cars on a bridge through the air with the air pressure of him rushing forward
• [Strength] Punches down a door that withstood his rocket fist
• [Strength] Throws off the Buddy Guardians that were holding him down
• [Strength] Clashes with Momakase, knocking the sword out of her hands
• [Durability/Strength] No sells an attack from Supersonic Sue, then blocks a strike from Baron Von Steamer’s spider mech with his arm
• [Durability] Takes multiple graphene claw slashes from mutated Momakase without harm
• [Speed] Blitzes mutated Momakase
• [Speed] Flights high into the air very fast
• [Misc] After his leg is cut off, going into overdrive mode replaces it

"I cannot deactivate until you say you are satisfied with your care"

Happy Friday, everyone! With this installment, we finally get to the interview with Tansy and also conclude Part 2.
I'm headed down to Universal Orlando for the holiday weekend, so no updates during that time, but I will be reading any comments you dear readers might provide. I'll also see if I can pitch my banger of an idea for an annex to Wizarding World that's a walkthrough Denmark Street Office attraction and Tottenham Pub restaurant. I mean, who wouldn't want that?
If you're looking for the previous installment of this re-read, here ya go.
Chapter 2.11 - Rich Girl Thin
What happens:
The next morning, Robin informs a besuited Strike that Duffield is flatly refusing to meet or give any interview about Landry and Guy Some has similarly rebuffed her attempts. Rummaging through the pile of boxes that, like any other element of his living at the office, she is studiously ignoring, Robin finds his appearance like that of “a rugby player en route to an international.” He finally emerges in triumph with the invitation to Jack’s birthday only to realize that he cannot remember how old he is. [It’s ok Strike, we’ve all been there.]
Robin presents an appreciative Strike with an article about Freddie Bestigui that she has copied from the previous day’s paper, commenting, mildly, that he is “not lucky in love.” When Strike responds that this goes along with the impression that Wardle had given, Robin’s curiosity gets the better of her and she asks how he has police contacts. This leads Strike to tell her for the first time about his prior service in the Military Police and his departure after an unspecified injury. She is intrigued by this background which certainly goes a way to refute Matthew’s poor opinion of Strike.
On his way to the meeting with Tansy and Bristow, Strike peruses the article on the former’s husband. Born into wealth, Freddie parlayed his inheritance into a highly successful career as producer of popular films. His pending divorce turns out to not be Freddie’s only legal entanglement, as he is currently fighting it out in court with two newspapers which had reported on numerous allegations of sexual harassment and bullying of his female staff. Freddie clearly has more than enough reasons to avoid any more publicity.
Arriving at the upscale Cipriani restaurant, Strike is mildly surprised to see not just the lawyer and Tansy, but another woman, who turns out to be Ursula May, Tansy’s sister. May is married to Cyprian [a name that’s likely illegal to have unless you come From Money], a senior partner at Bristow’s firm, which is also representing Tansy in the divorce. This means that they had a tangential pre-existing connection to Landry, but this apparently never came up before her death.
Strike’s famous father notwithstanding, the sisters automatically place him as a class beneath and treat him dismissively as such. Nonetheless, Tansy wants to make one last try at getting someone to believe her story about the overheard fight, although adamant that she won’t go public again. Ursula, on the other hand, is against the whole thing, believing it could stir up trouble in the divorce.
Beginning the interview proper, Strikes pulls out his notebook, prompting a panicked Tansy to say she wants nothing in writing. Strike agrees to this, deftly setting his cell phone to record while putting his notebook away.
Lula had moved into the building only three months prior to her death and during that time, she remained basically a stranger to Tansy. Freddie likewise hardly knew here; however, not for lack of trying. He had made several invitations and followed her once to a party. Tansy supposes this was partly sexual interest, but mostly a desire to get her to play a role in one of his films. Freddie was obsessed with getting headline catching celebrities into his movies, to the consternation of the directors who have to shoe-horn them in. The business with the white roses was likely a similar ploy to strike up a relationship with Deeby Macc for the same purpose, but, to Tansy’s knowledge, the two never ended up meeting.
It looks like Lula never signed any sort of agreement to pursue a picture with Freddie; however, Bristow does reveal that a couple of weeks ago Freddie had approached his mother about making a biographical film on her life. Yvette turned him down and Tony later chewed him out, closing down the prospect of further contact. Bristow regrets this somewhat as he wonders if Freddie had dug up any useful information on Lula’s early life.
Moving to the events of the night of Lula’s death, Tansy’s account is broadly what we’ve heard before, with some alterations and additional details. She says that she had got up to get a glass of water from the bathroom, and, while on her way back to the bedroom, heard the shouted words that Wardle repeated to Strike on the previous day. Then she saw Lula fall, something she mimes while Bristow seems to react with nausea.
Tansy then screamed and ran out of their apartment, past Freddie, to get the security guard. She is still frustrated that Wilson first went out to check on Landry instead of going directly to her flat, which Tansy thinks could have let the murderer get away. When Wilson returned from the street, he told them to call the police, which they did, but not until Freddie dragged her back up to their flat.
At this point, the interview is paused as Bristow excuses himself to take a call from Alison, his secretary and girlfriend. While the lawyer is out of earshot, the sisters take the opportunity to share that Alison is infatuated with Tony and only with Bristow as a sort of consolation. They clearly take cruel delight in the gossip about Alison’s unrequited affection. Ursula, loquacious after the glasses of wine that she has been downing at an impressive rate, speculates to Strike that the call must be about the late financier Conway Oates’s executors, who are furious about the handling of his affairs. Tony and Cyprian are having John handle the shit work of trying to get things quieted and Ursula’s tone implies that Bristow doesn’t exactly enjoy much status at the firm.
Bristow returns and Strike continues the interview, this time pushing on the issues the police had with her account. Tansy claims that she had opened a window on the way from the bedroom to the bathroom as it was “stuffy”. When pressed, she admits to having used cocaine earlier in the evening, during the dinner they hosted. Tansy believes that the police have been deliberately trying to discredit her to cover up for their incompetence and inability to arrive quickly enough to catch the murderer.
Strike steers back to the line of questioning, clarifying that Freddie had been asleep and in bed, then woken when Tansy screamed. Tansy confirms this, leading Strike to point out an inconsistency: she had said that she ran past Freddie when going down to the lobby, but, if he had only just woken up when she screamed, how could he have made it to the room with Tansy so quickly? She is caught off-guard by this, then says she must have frozen from shock for a moment between screaming and running downstairs. [I don’t wanna be a cynic folks, but I’m starting to wonder if this lady is 100% trustworthy]
Tansy quickly moves to the subject of her speculation on how the killer got in. She’s decided that he must have followed Lula in and was missed by Wilson while he was in the back, her having already expressed her low opinion of the security guard. She doesn’t know how they would have had the security code, though.
When Strike asks if she could recognize the voice of the man if she heard it again, Tansy is doubtful. [Given present company, I’m gonna rate that a solid “no”] This leads to her speculation as to whether it may have been Duffield. Like everyone else so far, she has a low opinion of the heroin-chic rocker, and recounts how he previously had to be thrown out of the building by Wilson as he was shouting and trying to bust down Lula’s door. She knows his alibi seems airtight, though.
After a digression on how little the sisters think of Lula’s friends and some casual racism, the interview and meal begin to wrap up, Tansy reiterating that she wants everything she has said to be off-the-record. As they prepare to leave, they are shocked by the sight of a tall, smartly-dressed man near 60 entering the restaurant and striding directly to their table. This is Cyprian, who was definitely not told that any such meeting might be happening by his wife. After he escorts the sisters out, Bristow confesses that his senior partner will definitely be displeased that Tansy has spoken to Strike and speculates that Alison had ratted them out. Strike notices Bristow’s hands apparently trembling at the prospect of what might be in store when Cyprian inevitably tells Tony about what happened.
Making his way back from the restaurant, our detective is deep in thought until he is jolted back to the present when he almost catches a ride in the worst way possible while crossing the street. Finding a safer spot outside the way of both automobile and human traffic, Cormoran pulls out his phone to go over the recording of Tansy’s interview. [He’s also smoking, but he’s outdoors and standing still, so I think we can call that a given.] Strike listens to her account of the argument specifically twice, then begins to make notes.
Strike knows all about liars and how to spot them, and Tansy had just done quite a bit of that. Yet, that specific account of the argument, he was sure that at least Tansy believed she was telling the truth on that, however many other lies about that night's events she wrapped it in.
Commentary:
Ok, we’ve now got another crucial clue revealed in Tansy’s contradictory statements about where Freddie was. Have you put it together? Ready to find the murderer? Well, I wasn’t either, at this point: I had absolutely no idea where it was going.
I think there’s definitely good bits to this chapter. I would especially highlight the Sisters Sophisticate in their description, attitudes, and dialogue. Like:

They were both as pristine and polished as life-size dolls recently removed from their cellophane boxes; rich-girl thin, almost hipless in their tight jeans, with tanned faces that had a waxy sheen especially noticeable on their foreheads, gleaming dark manes with center partings, the ends trimmed with spirit-level exactitude.

and:

The unbuttoned neck of her thin silk shirt revealed an expanse of butterscotch skin stretched over her bony sternum, giving an unattractively knobbly effect; yet two full, firm breasts jutted from her narrow ribcage, as though they had been borrowed for the day from a fuller-figured friend.

Ok, that last one made me laugh. And I don’t want JKR to ever write a mockery of my appearance. We see that they are crafting a particular image to show the world which is as much intended to project a message of how they want to be perceived as a teenager’s choice of edgy t-shirt from Hot Topic.
Following that description, we get this exchange which says so much:

‘We could have met somewhere more discreet,’ commented Strike.
‘No, it’s fine, because nobody here will know who you are. You don’t look anything like your father, do you? I met him at Elton’s last summer. Freddie knows him. D’you see much of Jonny?’
‘I’ve met him twice,’ said Strike.
‘Oh,’ said Tansy.
The monosyllable contained equal parts of surprise and disdain.

Yet, at this point we’re going through our third account of the same night in the span of just a few chapters and, while there are details and clues to be found in each one, it’s getting a bit wearying. I think this is one of the things that makes Cuckoo’s Calling feel longer than something like Career of Evil or even Lethal White. It’s also something JKR avoids in the rest of the books. Growing pains, it’s understandable.
Alright, on to miscellaneous
Bristow’s apparently nauseated reaction to Tansy specifically talking about, and miming, Lula’s plunge. I’m not sure what this is. I don’t think he feels any remorse, but maybe he is still off put at the memory? He doesn’t seem like a person made of stern stuff. Or maybe it is just acting? Thoughts?
Although:

And Tansy made a tiny jerky movement with her hands that Strike understood to indicate flailing.

The image of this in my mind is actually funny and it’s possibly because I’m a terrible person.
We have Strike finally tell Robin that he was in the military and he was injured, even if he avoids specifics not wanting to see a “shocked expression.” I think it is a little bit of a deserved flex to just drop that he was SIB (yes, I know that SIB is a higher grade than just MP, work with me), kinda like casually mentioning an engineering degree from Stanford.
I’ll finish with this paragraph that I just really enjoyed:

Her [Ursula] antipathy towards Strike seemed to have evaporated. He was not surprised; he had met the phenomenon many times. People liked to talk; there were very few exceptions; the question was how you made them do it. Some, and Ursula was evidently one of them, were amenable to alcohol; others like a spotlight; and then there were those who merely needed proximity to another conscious human being. A subsection of humanity would become loquacious only on one favorite subject: it might be their own innocence, or somebody else’s guilt; it might be their collection of pre-war biscuit tins; or it might, as in the case of Ursula May, be the hopeless passion of a plain secretary.

I stepped onto the front porch holding out the hope that there’d be a basket of pastries and cookies; There was nothing there. It had been two weeks since the Gibsons had popped by. The Gibsons, our neighbors from the farm next to us, sported several more acres of land than our family and with how amazing the early elderly couple were, they deserved it.
Melvin and Maya baked together, even as Melvin’s mind slipped it was one of the only things he could remember from his 37 years of marriage with Maya. They always brought us lots of their baking, and in turn we all would help them out with things around their farm. Maya’s mind was sharp, even if both of their bodies were giving out. It was the least we could do for such lovely neighbors.
So when more than a week had passed with no calls or basket drop-offs, I knew something was wrong.
“Where are you going? Sun’s almost down,” mom asked me as I threw on some boots.
“Checkin’ on the neighbors,” I replied, stone faced.
“Oh I’m sure they’re just fine, their son and his wife were supposed to be visiting, right?”
I didn’t have a real response to that. Something felt wrong, but maybe I was expecting far too much from them. If they had family over I shouldn’t be so bent out of shape.
“Maybe you’re right,” I relented. “Perhaps it’s just that-”
Sirens rushing down the road cut me off. They were headed west. Towards the Gibson’s farm.
“When was the last time you heard those around here, ma?” I asked.
“Five months,” I got back. The reality did hit me. We were roughly twenty minutes south of Albany, and I probably haven't been to Atlanta in maybe three months. I was grateful for my online friends, let alone having the internet in the first place.Which is why I’m writing what I’m writing.
“Jonah, where are ya going?” I heard my dad call out to me as I hurried into the truck. He’d been watering the tomato plants outside.
“Checkin the Gibsons!” I called back.
“Dammit, you’re gonna look silly when you crash their family bbq cause you was worried!”
“Explain the cops then!” I retorted before slamming the truck door and speeding west.
Melvin and Maya’s place was ten minutes away by vehicle. I had the windows down, and around the halfway mark I heard gunshots. I picked up speed, thrashing the poor truck on the dirt road.
I didn’t wanna be right, but sure as shit there were two cops and an ambulance parked outside of their place. I got out of the truck and rushed over. The law enforcement and paramedics were a little jumpy, and very pale.
“What’s going on..?” I asked much slower than I normally would. The sheriff looked back at the house, and that’s when I noticed the window had been smashed. The frame of the window was torn right off the house, too.
“An attack of some kind,” The sheriff told me. “It’s a gnarly scene there, kid. We suspect a-”
“Don’t bullshit him you saw it, too!” a much younger deputy called out. “That thing’s a monster!”
The sheriff sighed, giving this visibly shaken deputy a pat on the back. “We’ll see to it that someone destroys it.”
“A monster!?” I spat. “Y’all can’t be using that word lightly!”
“A big one, too,” the deputy rambled. “Damn thing took six of my bullets before it charged into the woods! I didn’t wanna believe it! Bigger than any bear I’d ever seen, and I damn well know it ain’t one!”
“Who are you anyways, kid?” the sheriff asked. “You shouldn’t be here, it’s dangerous.”
“The neighbor,” I said, pointing back down the road towards my house. I gestured to look around back, and I followed the sheriff and his deputy closely.
The Gibson’s crops were torn up in some spots, uprooted to be specific. There was a trail of blood smeared across a section of the field that led to a busted portion of their fence, trailing towards the woods and swamp. I wanted to check for tracks, but I was no detective nor would the police let me get close.
“I…did they make it?” I asked nervously. The sheriff shook his head, looking down at his badge shamefully.
“I don’t believe so, son. Couldn't find a body to tell ya.”
I bit my lip, trying my hardest not to cry. I walked back to the truck and drove off. I couldn’t hold anything back and cried for most of my drive back to my place. I grew up with them always down the road, and they were kind and gentle souls. It was the type of loving marriage I envisioned myself having later in life.
My parents had finished eating dinner by the time I had gotten back. I quietly scarfed down some food on my own before telling my parents what I had seen. They were upset, for sure.
“They couldn’t find a body?” My dad asked. “That means that there’s a chance they might be alive.”
“I want to believe that, I do…but the amount of blood that was there…” I said. “I don’t think anyone could’ve survived that.”
“What are you going to do about it, son? You can’t go and fight this ‘monster’ or whatever that they said they saw.”
“They were good people. I can’t do nothing about it, pops.”
“Live a good life, for them at least. They’d definitely want that for you."
A couple days went by, and I saw some vehicles pass our place to their property a few times. It was pretty quiet. I worked around our smaller farm, and helped my parents bring food to the nearby markets. Eventually their obituaries presented themselves in the newspaper.It was cited that Melvin, Maya, and their son and their daughter in-law all died from a bear attack. This ignited a fire of conviction in me. I wasn’t a sheriff or deputy or whatnot, but a “bear attack” was bullshit. I had to get to the bottom of it.I cared about the Gibsons. I wasn’t going to give up until I found out what really attacked them.
I drove to their property, much to my parents dismay, and saw nobody was there. Someone had boarded up the broken window, and I saw a toolbox laying about on the front porch. I hopped the fence behind the house and saw the smeared trail was drying up. Something was off, more of their crops were uprooted. There was also a vile smell in the air.
Whatever the thing was, it was here recently. I was also able to find some tracks.
Hooves. Larger ones at that.
“Couldn’t be a killer deer,” I chuckled to myself.
I circled back around the house and noticed something shocking on the side I hadn’t seen yet.There was a fresh trail of blood smeared towards the woods. Who was here recently that this thing killed?
I took a look and saw a small broken window that was halfway through being boarded up. Looking down at the trail, there were once again hoof tracks leading away from the house. I saw some torn denim, soaked in blood on the ground, as well as a screwdriver.
This thing killed whoever was patching the place up. I was too scared to follow the trail, I was unarmed.I checked the nearby barn that held their sheep and goats. They were massacred, dried blood everywhere. The only remains of any animal was in the form of a rotting goat carcass that was missing its backside.
In my disgust I thought of an effective but risky plan. I took the carcass back to my truck and drove back to the house.
Mom and Dad always were in bed early, and they were deep sleepers by 8:00pm. I did make an effort to be quiet with my sneaking, as I looted our compost, and added in some of the fresh tomatoes to my bucket of slop. I unlocked the gun safe, got the highest caliber hunting rifle, and loaded myself up with a handful of bullets. I grabbed a high powered flashlight for good measure, too.
The sun was still in the sky when I got back to the Gibson’s place. I took the carcass to the back of the house, dropping it on the blood trail. I dumped the compost slob on top, as well as the fresh tomatoes for extra measure. By the looks of it, the bait may not have been necessary but I wanted to speed things along.I managed to navigate the intact wooden railings on the back porch and climbed on top of the roof.
I got a view of most of their field, which was almost completely ransacked. I took out the gun and waited.
Nothing came for two hours. The moon was full with a clear sky; I didn’t even need the flashlight I brought. Disrespectful as it was, I also peed off the house towards the carcass. That was not part of the plan, but a part of me was glad I did.
About twenty or so minutes later I heard something from the woods. I quietly got the gun ready. It was a bear, and a pretty big one at that. No bear could’ve done this, right? It began sniffing where I had peed, as well as the bait I had laid out. I wanted to fire off a warning shot to scare it off. It was interfering with the “monster!”
As I prepared to fire off the gun, I heard a low grunt and snort from the woods. It was loud. Sounded like a wild boar, but not quite. I heard the sound of something slowly dragging through the underbrush. The bear noticed it, too, and ran away. A bear was running from something like a boar? What the hell?
It emerged from the woods and I understood why.
It was a massive boar, I’d argue it was taller and heavier than the bear. It didn’t have the thick hair your average feral pig had. No, it had a bristly mane but almost no hair on the sides. It looked like it had been stabbed or shot, its hide had dark, exposed holes. I could see from the moonlight that its tusks were stained with what I could make out was blood.
Its bloated gut dragged on the ground, and the thing wheezed each step it took. It reached the bait. Did it notice me? I took aim.
The thing began to heave and hack. First, a slew of blood and bile came from its mouth. It looked like it was struggling. Then something else came out of its mouth that will no doubt be burned into my brain for the rest of my life
.A set of flailing human arms.
They swayed as this creature heaved some more. More blood came out. The arms were hung up in its mouth, and tapped desperately on the snout. Oh god, the person it ate is still alive!?
I took aim and fired into its side. It gurgled and shrieked. It spat out more content that made me lose hope.
It opened its mouth wider and a slimy, half digested torso dropped onto the ground. It wasn’t done yet. It shook its head and the arms that were stuck in its teeth flung away.
It kept puking. A hammer, a half-melted hardhat, and two severed human legs came out of its mouth. It went back to the pile and began to gorge. This thing was simply making room.
No doubt, this was the monster.
Furious, I took another shot at it. I got it right in the ear. It squealed, and turned its gaze upward. Its cold, beady eyes locked onto me. I slowly began to back up, reloading another bolt into the rifle. It snorted and roared. It reared up at me, its oversized gut weighing it down. It began pacing from side to side, before charging towards the house.
It pressed its massive body against the house, and I could’ve sworn I heard some creaking from the wall. I took another shot at the top of its head, it drew blood, but I doubt it went close to the brain.It looked up at me, opening its massive, disgusting mouth. I instinctively gasped when I saw what was inside:
It was glinting in the moonlight, the gem on Maya’s wedding ring. My body must’ve moved on its own, because I don’t remember putting the flashlight in my hand, but before I knew it I turned it on and I couldn’t believe what I saw in the light.
The ring was attached to a slimy, mangled arm resting at the back of this thing’s throat. This monster pig ate her!
I screamed in terror and in rage and fired a shot into this thing’s mouth. It stumbled backwards, squealing and rolling. Its insides were still vulnerable. As I shakily went to reload, I realized I had ran out of bullets! Shit!
The giant pig squealed and roared. It took a few steps and began to retch once again. It vomited up Maya’s body, in pieces, before retreating into the woods. I could hear its gut dragging along the ground.
I was distraught, I could tell through the disgusting, slimy and bloody body that this was indeed one of my neighbors. It was far more gone than what I can only imagine was the gentleman who was patching the windows up.
I made it home, and my mind is still a bit hazy. I don’t think anyone is going to believe me when I tell them what killed our neighbors. I want to call the sheriff, hell even the military over. I cared so much about our neighbors in life, I want them to rest easy in death.
My parents didn't even come out to scold me, they must have really been sound asleep. I wonder if anyone else heard the gunshots. Our other neighbours are fairly far out. My ears are ringing, my heart won't stop beating, and my mind is racing far too quickly to fall asleep.
I knew it wasn't a bear that devoured our neighbours. I wish it were so simple, but I wish nobody had to die in the first place.
If there's more of those things out there, then I'm worried for us. When will that thing turn its attention towards our farm?I’ve been staring at my phone for about an hour now, ready to make a call.
I’ll be able to help them out just a little bit-By guiding them to the newest trail of blood, going into the woods.

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Hey guys OP here... Its been almost a year since that dreaded day, if someone told me I'd be here now I would have laughed my ass off... but life can be weird....
Anyways we are no longer in military, fully settled in our new lives and carriers, opened up a new business with my brothers as partners it took off quite well and managing my elder bio-brother's company branch in TX... also thinking of joining college to get a degree in Mechanical engineering.... This all has kept me quite busy....
Anyway during free time we were working on that book we said we would publish but a lot of the responses were relevant to our lives, jobs and situations specific to us... there are few responses like "you will not gaslight me into taking accountability for your own moral failure" and the like but these were blanket responses to lots statements and would not help in other places.... anyways we did make a kind of rough initial draft and we decided to run that by our old CO (now a close friend we hang out with when ever we visit) he told us not to publish because that could be traced back to us.... we cant risk exposing our true identities specially after posting our stories on reddit... So we decided not to.... but a brother of mine had an idea he suggested instead of a book we could make a blog where people of all walks of life and occupations can send their suggestions and input about the bullshit and gaslighting they faced, we could publish it.... That would give every one with internet, access to resources to help them face this monster.... A comprehensive compilation of anti-cheater script all compiled in one place for the betrayed of the world to access....
TBH I love this idea.... what does every one else here think about that???
Another bit of drama that happened in my life..... A few weeks ago one of the mutual friends of my ex some how found me in TX came to my house to meet.... Said it was urgent... This is a decent woman who my ex distanced herself from during her bullshit.... anyway she came met me and started with the small talk how I was doing and what not..... Then she said my ex is in a very bad state she has apologized to everyone and on more then one occasion has been hospitalized because she stopped eating or drove in a tree.... she listed a whole list of incidents that I didn't even think were possible in this short duration.... according to her she has essentially became a zombie.... she hasn't been fired from her job because she is good at what she does and focuses on it so that's something....
This mutual friend then told me (essentially begged me) to talk with my ex... that I have punished her enough... that I have destroyed her mentally.... that I don't need to get back together with her but at least be a friend to talk or chat once in a while or something.... I told her I was never punishing her.... I didn't harm her financially, physically or psychologicaly my actions were never a punishment to her it was just me getting away from her betrayal and cutting her out of my life..... any ways this has thrown me back in a tailspin... I was honestly doing a lot better and was starting to really move on but now I am again haunted by these thoughts...
Last time I was bombarded with these thoughts I busted a capillary in my left eye, suffered a massive nose bleed and was diagnosed with acute hypertension, had to be hospitalized for a few days and I have to now check my BP for rest of my life... (definitely not fit of service anymore.... sigh....)...
TBH I now think that my ex is just throwing a tantrum with her actions.... its a cry for attention and help.... like a child with bigger toys.... or maybe I became a heartless bastard who just doesn't care anymore and sees the worst possible scenario.... So what do ya'll think about this???
I don't want to ever contact her again because that would really set me back.... but I need more neutral and objective opinion on all this.... Thanks....

Hello again! Need to clear up more space and stop projects I’m just not gonna get to with what free time I have. Everything is pictured as is and if you need any more pics of what’s already shown I’d be happy to help. Definitely open to offers because my desk needs more room!
Shipping is free for anything over $50, if not then a flat $8.
Thank you for looking!
SoB-
Battle Sisters bits on sprue- make me a offer
Seraphim Squad NiB- 45
Tartaros Terminators (built, primed)- 35
Godtear- Lorsann & Mistwood Rangers (NiB)- 15
Zombicide Black Ops (NiB)- 25
Top Gun Strategy game (NiB)- 20
Bones Dwarf King on Throne (NiB)- 10
Mindwork Games Azazel limited edition (NiB)- 50
Explorer Eira bust- 20
KDM-
Smog Drummer-35
Badari First Run Collectors 228/500- 50
Estate Hero- 25
Astri Painters Scale- 70
Energy-Potion Maker- 40
Spira Mirabilis Bust
Dwarf Merc- 100
Verification- https://imgur.com/a/WPtexSB

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Nothing of what happens here is canon unless u/bluefishcake says so, please enjoy.
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March 15, 2019, Houston TX, 8:00 P.M. UTC-6
"Come on hurry up mom."
"Why do we always have to be late to everything." said Miranda, my sister.
"You don't get to complain after leaving things for the last minute." I said.
"Ugh"
“You two quit it.
“Now come say bye to your dad.” said mom
“Mom we are just going to be separated for one day, ONE.” I said
“Just ask for your blessing.” mom said while picking up her handbag
“Fine.” we collectively said while rolling our eyes
“Bendición papá.” we said simultaneously
“Que Dios los bendiga, y que todo me les salga bien en el viaje.” he said
“Amén”
“Now let’s go we have to go through TSA, and knowing Miranda she probably brought all the things prohibited on a plane” I said while walking backwards and towards the security checkpoint
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“See, they haven’t even started boarding” said mom
“Still we shouldn’t keep this habit of being on the clock every single time.” I said while taking a seat at the gate and looking at the tv that was displaying the news.
The several channels displayed reporters and interviews with astronomers talking about weird objects detected outside of the solar system right beyond Pluto.
“Crazy right?” I asked
“What do you think they are?” asked mom
“I say aliens.” said Miranda
“I back you up on that one.” I said
Flight 352 Houston - Charlotte Now Boarding at gate C3
“That’s us.”
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March 15, 2019, Charlotte NC, 11:30 P.M. UTC-5
It had been a rough day for everyone and all they wanted to do was sleep, that’s why they busted through the hotel room door as soon as it unlocked
“Finally.” We all said
“Now to sleep.” I sleep
“But I’m hungry.” said Miranda
“And I am too tired to even feel hunger.
“Good night.”
“Good night son.”
"Buenas noches ma."
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March 16, 2019, Charlotte NC, 9:00 A.M. UTC-5
I was the first to wake up, had this bad habit of waking up early when I can sleep in, but this gives me the chance of going down to breakfast early and have the fresh food.
That until I moved the curtains and looked outside.
There were columns of smoke all throughout the city, other than the confusion from waking up to something like this was ‘damn these room has great noise isolation’ then I looked up and I kid you not what looked like a covenant super-carrier from halo just on a way smaller scale, purple and everything.
I decided to go out to the balcony and peek to the street below, and then I saw them a convoy of what looked like purple mechs, giant purple humvees and on foot soldiers and they looked tall even from a sixth floor.
Then one of them looked up at me straight in the eyes, though I couldn’t tell, they had helmets on, did they even have eyes?
But at that moment all my brain could say was “holy shit” so I scrambled to the balcony door and slammed It shut and rolled the curtain over the glass.
Miranda was already awake and in a mix of confusion and panic after seeing me scared shitless pushing they already closed and locked door.
“What’s up with you?” she said in a half worried half laughing tone
“Ah- a.”
“Spit it out!”
“ALIENS”
“…”
“…”
“Hahahahaha”
snort
“Hahahaha
“Did you have a clown for breakfast or something?” she said after containing her laughter
“I’m serious!”
“Yeah right and Michael Jackson is throwing a concert down the street.”
“Look out for yourself then.” I said while still recovering my breath
By this time mom had woken up “what is it with you two now.”
“Jeriel says there are aliens outside.” said Miranda.
“There are, look outside!” I said while pointing at the closed curtain.
“Whatever just get dressed and let’s go down to breakfast, we can talk about aliens and apples if y’all want” mom said while stretching and getting out of bed.
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When the elevators door to the lobby opened I almost fainted, at ripe age of 17 I wasn’t a tall person coming about 5’7 I was even a little below average, so when the elevator doors open and I see this 7’ish foot tall masked soldiers I was by all the meanings of the word ‘intimidated’.
We all just stood there like a deer caught in the headlights, and even more shocked when it spoke English, a really broken one at that but with a surprisingly female voice a ‘human’ female voice, it took my brain a couple seconds to process what I was hearing and seeing.
For starters ‘she’ that’s what I assumed she was, was a muscle unit with her ‘armor?’ making a good silhouette of her body, especially her upper chest.
It took all my brain power to grab both my sister and mother’s hands and tell my legs to work.
She guided us to the front desk where there were even more of them on seated behind the front desk of the hotel and without her helmet, it looked just like a woman in her twenties give or take, but I didn’t know neither how years worked for them or their anatomy, but they did have purple skin, and tusks.
So if they all looked like this it meant two things, one: we had been invaded by purple space orcs, and two: they were hot.
Then they put us in a line and she asked if we came to the hotel together in a somewhat better English, after I answered yes she asked me where did we normally reside, and before I could answer I felt something clang to my leg, when I looked down, I saw mom.
I saw mom in shock, looking at the television, when I looked I saw a news broadcast with the emergency message at the bottom, but what mattered was the news themselves.
They were reporting amongst the invasion itself, at nuclear attack on the city of Houston.
'Houston.'
'Houston.'
‘DAD!’ was everything I could think of, I wanted to scream but nothing came out, I wanted to cry but again, nothing came out.
After a moment of confusion for the soldier at the desk she asked if everything was ok, all I could do was point at the news broadcast with my shaky hand and say “there.”
We later learned that it was the U.S. Navy who had nuked the city, surprisingly it was not the alien invaders.
After a while we checked our phones and mom had received a message from dad, it was sent overnight while we slept, it was him telling us about the invasion and the chaos there was and how the aliens had taken over, it ended with him praying for us to be safe and hoping to seeing us soon, it was sent 2 minutes before the nuke hit.
The aliens didn’t take him from us it was the humans.
‘Other humans.’
Humanity 1 - 0 Aliens
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Hey everyone, this is my first time writing so all the criticism and corrections are welcome as English is not my first language, and any writing tips in general.
Hope to be able to continue this series.
Thanks in advance.