Battleground perks last call
I feel terrible for this, but I need to get it off my chest.
2023.05.30 06:36 colorful_hues I feel terrible for this, but I need to get it off my chest.
Okay, we have 2 friends who are also systems (I met one of them through the other). One of them, whom I'll call A, has an alter who speaks Spanish, Liam. Then, my other friend (G) speaks fluent Spanish. No one else in A's system speaks Spanish. Liam had met G, and G had told me it had been like they were talking to someone who didn't actually speak Spanish. As if they were using Google Translate. And we both think that it was weird it wouldn't show Liam wasn't typing, but apparently was (as if he had copy and pasted something). A has also formed a ton of alters in like 5 months. Probably over 40. Now, I can't say anything about this, especially since we can form alter easily (we've formed about 20, and 10 have came out of dormancy). 30 of A's alters were in 3 months. When they weren't going through ANYTHING. A had also never heard of fictives, in I think March, but suddenly formed multiple. They also claimed to have never experienced dormancy, and only did with one alter (who is currently dormant) when they met us. Their switches usually last a minute. I know sometimes it happens, but it's every switch.
I hate saying this, especially since I'm completely against fakeclaiming, but I'm not exactly sure they're a system. I love them with my entire heart, but sometimes they have moments where I'm not sure if they are one. I don't want to talk to them about, because I'm scared they'll think I dont like or trust them. I know every system is different, but still.
submitted by colorful_hues to DID [link] [comments]
I hate saying this, especially since I'm completely against fakeclaiming, but I'm not exactly sure they're a system. I love them with my entire heart, but sometimes they have moments where I'm not sure if they are one. I don't want to talk to them about, because I'm scared they'll think I dont like or trust them. I know every system is different, but still.
2023.05.30 06:36 cambrianraptor is what I am experiencing what demisexuality is? i think i might be a-spec
my friend who I was dating but went to just saying friends today had this happen in a way where it led to me asking if she was aromantic based off what she was describing, her going maybe, and then me proceeding to realize if I was a-spec too despite having developed romantic feelings. but in wondering about me being demiromantic kind of way, or anything that sounds like it. if it is an a-spec thing.
starting with the whole fact of going “yeah, I get it” when she told me when we first started finding the lines to different types of attraction to her (platonic, romantic, sexual) blurry.
i had asked confusion about platonic vs romantic attraction for a while, but I think what ultimately was what was confusing me was romantic interest vs romantic attraction. if that is a thing.
I never had a legitimate relationship except for a girl that I dated for 1 month who made me quickly regret it (she was being uncomfortable with the dynamics right away) and we broke up in less than that month. I figured that, though, was obvious as to why I was not upset. I wanted out immediately. It was ultimately because I was coming to terms with being a nonbinary trans guy and she was only into women, and tried to say i was the “woman” in the relationship. So… oof.
so regardless of all this, I know I am bisexual. but I think this was the point of confusion, and I want to clarify as much as could be if this is a 100% allo experience or, well, not
Looking back, I guess what ultimately was a huge question was if alloromantic people, if experiencing true romantic attraction, would be genuinely upset by a relationship starting being rejected.
Because, now I am thinking about it, is stuff that might be why I might have gotten confused by the last person where, when I asked him out, he delayed his answer after saying he would think about it. When he told me why he put it off, it was was worried about telling me no because of my birthday coming up and thinking I would be hurt by his rejection. Thus ruining my birthday.
I did not even think about that idea. I told him I would not have been, got kinda confused and frustrated why he put it off because of that, but also I did not understand why I would be that distressed.
it was not until being in an actual active relationship recently (both in early to mid twenties) did I really get the feeling of romantic attraction compared to platonic attraction.
Because now I realized it was because, when I told my friend that, that it was situations of rejections like these where people do feel distraught by no reciprocated desire. Which does ruin friendships.
Almost everyone I asked out in the past were friends. And in general, it would come with “I want to pursue a relationship with this person”. And it could be in my head for a while. This, I viewed was romantic attraction. Despite still feeling on a level confused by platonic vs romantic until this relationship.
As when I asked, and they said no, it was just a casual “oh, dang. alright”. And I never felt distressed by it. I never came in feeling what I did after being in an actual relationship.
No matter what, I guess it was always like giving an attractive stranger your number if they wanted to call you when in a coffee shop or bar or something. Even if, technically, people would expect that if they were a friend for a while and you wanted to become romantic then it would feel more personal.
Is this what being demi is? Is it why people would expect a rejection in a friendship to ruin it, but I just move on? Was this just romantic interest and was why I was not distraught by rejection? Ehy the difference between platonic vs romantic love stumped me sometimes still?
Did I separate it from platonic too much where there was still a reference point? Like conflating wanting to be friends and then actually being friends? I am not going into love ar first sight thing some people say because not even a lot of allos believe in it.
And also because I need to know; does this negate my bisexuality? Or no because I still had interest and still capable of getting flustered.
I do not know how to describe flustered in the way that it does not feel to be inherently romantic/sexual attraction but a response to approving of the expression of interest of it, or if it only sexual. Or could be either. Or both. Or if I already explained well enough.
submitted by cambrianraptor to aromanticasexual [link] [comments]
starting with the whole fact of going “yeah, I get it” when she told me when we first started finding the lines to different types of attraction to her (platonic, romantic, sexual) blurry.
i had asked confusion about platonic vs romantic attraction for a while, but I think what ultimately was what was confusing me was romantic interest vs romantic attraction. if that is a thing.
I never had a legitimate relationship except for a girl that I dated for 1 month who made me quickly regret it (she was being uncomfortable with the dynamics right away) and we broke up in less than that month. I figured that, though, was obvious as to why I was not upset. I wanted out immediately. It was ultimately because I was coming to terms with being a nonbinary trans guy and she was only into women, and tried to say i was the “woman” in the relationship. So… oof.
so regardless of all this, I know I am bisexual. but I think this was the point of confusion, and I want to clarify as much as could be if this is a 100% allo experience or, well, not
Looking back, I guess what ultimately was a huge question was if alloromantic people, if experiencing true romantic attraction, would be genuinely upset by a relationship starting being rejected.
Because, now I am thinking about it, is stuff that might be why I might have gotten confused by the last person where, when I asked him out, he delayed his answer after saying he would think about it. When he told me why he put it off, it was was worried about telling me no because of my birthday coming up and thinking I would be hurt by his rejection. Thus ruining my birthday.
I did not even think about that idea. I told him I would not have been, got kinda confused and frustrated why he put it off because of that, but also I did not understand why I would be that distressed.
it was not until being in an actual active relationship recently (both in early to mid twenties) did I really get the feeling of romantic attraction compared to platonic attraction.
Because now I realized it was because, when I told my friend that, that it was situations of rejections like these where people do feel distraught by no reciprocated desire. Which does ruin friendships.
Almost everyone I asked out in the past were friends. And in general, it would come with “I want to pursue a relationship with this person”. And it could be in my head for a while. This, I viewed was romantic attraction. Despite still feeling on a level confused by platonic vs romantic until this relationship.
As when I asked, and they said no, it was just a casual “oh, dang. alright”. And I never felt distressed by it. I never came in feeling what I did after being in an actual relationship.
No matter what, I guess it was always like giving an attractive stranger your number if they wanted to call you when in a coffee shop or bar or something. Even if, technically, people would expect that if they were a friend for a while and you wanted to become romantic then it would feel more personal.
Is this what being demi is? Is it why people would expect a rejection in a friendship to ruin it, but I just move on? Was this just romantic interest and was why I was not distraught by rejection? Ehy the difference between platonic vs romantic love stumped me sometimes still?
Did I separate it from platonic too much where there was still a reference point? Like conflating wanting to be friends and then actually being friends? I am not going into love ar first sight thing some people say because not even a lot of allos believe in it.
And also because I need to know; does this negate my bisexuality? Or no because I still had interest and still capable of getting flustered.
I do not know how to describe flustered in the way that it does not feel to be inherently romantic/sexual attraction but a response to approving of the expression of interest of it, or if it only sexual. Or could be either. Or both. Or if I already explained well enough.
2023.05.30 06:34 DDoubleBlinDD Everyone's a Catgirl! Ch. 216: Magnificent Trio
First Previous Next Volume 1 Volume 2 Patreon
A/N: 4 days left to pre-order Volume 1!
---
The return trip to Madhyam somehow felt a great deal faster than the initial voyage to Rājadhānī. Tristan chalked it up to a combination of things—Encroachers seemed to stay out of their way, the winds and sands moving in their favor, and everyone received at least one full night’s rest. With so many bodies, it was easier to split the night watch between all of them.
Tristan shared his gigashank with Zahra, and they filled the time with idle chatter. His thoughts were consumed by the immense amount of work that lay before him, not allowing for anything deeper than brief observations and inquiries.
Cailu had asked him to essentially resolve the same issues on San Island that plagued San Francisco; homelessness and orphaned kittens. Battling Encroachers and Defiled were one thing, but resurrecting a broken economy? That was a task that could take years of designing and implementing. Just how long did Cailu want him to stay on San?
When they did reach Madhyam, the group made a point to visit Ishani at Tristan’s suggestion. It was the least he could do for Zahra after all of her help. They were welcomed just as warmly as their first visit with Zahra’s mother.
“Three men in my house! What an honor!” Ishani fussed between them, her eyes glittering with wonder. “Please, allow me to serve you a small meal before you continue on.” She rested her hands over her stomach and performed the traditional bow.
Tristan returned it, and Cailu was nearly in sync with his movements. Tristan cleared his throat to catch Matt’s attention and was glad when he followed suit.
“It would be our pleasure,” Cailu replied. “Your daughter has been a tremendous help.”
Ishani straightened her back and clutched her hands to her chest. “You bless us both. Sands walk with you, sir.”
There was an unspoken rule on Ichi when someone invited you to stay. The guests were meant to relax and let the members of the household do all the work. But even with Zahra’s help, preparing anything for thirteen people would be no easy feat.
“Ishani, if you’d permit me to, I’d love to help you prepare everything.” Tristan smiled. “I know there are a lot of us.”
“Oh! Me, too!” Cannoli said. She’d been far more chipper during their journey back than Tristan had seen her in a long time. He hoped it was a good sign.
Ishani studied them for a time, eyes flickering to the full group as her tail rocked back and forth in thought. At last, she nodded. “Yes, I would be glad to have your assistance.”
“And mine, of course,” Zahra chimed in. “It is still my house after all.”
Ishani swept an arm over Zahra’s shoulders and hugged her daughter close. “Of course, my sweet. This will always be your home.”
They moved to the modest kitchen while the rest of the group made their way outside. Cannoli set to work on passing out drinks and preparing small plates while Ishani gave Tristan and Zahra instructions for cutting and seasoning meats. While they worked, Ishani’s questions began to roll in like the tide.
“We heard of Magni’s death a little over two days after it happened,” Ishani began. “An Ejderha arrived begging for Sanctuary. How did it happen?”
Zahra pursed her lips. “The Ejderha didn’t say?”
“It is best to hear a tale from a tongue you trust,” Ishani replied.
“Cailu challenged Magni to a sanctioned duel and won,” Tristan said. “He left the throne to Naeemah.”
“Then it is true. That is wonderful news!” Ishani stoked the flames at the stove, hooking a large pot over the coal. “And what of Sanrai?”
Tristan looked up from his diced onyans and over at Zahra.
Zahra’s expression softened. “Sanrai returned to the sands, Mother,” she said softly. “She refused to see reason.”
Ishani froze, her hand hovering over a ladle. A string of expressions passed over her face, her eyes searching into an abyss they could not see.
Even after the hell Sanrai had put them through, Tristan’s heart broke for her mother. He couldn’t imagine how receiving news like that felt, and he desperately searched for the right thing to say. Sanrai was powerful, intense, calculating. She’d driven them out of the city not once, but twice, and very nearly killed Ceres.
“Zahra did everything she could to bring her sister home.” Tristan was careful to keep his words even. “You raised two incredible daughters, Ishani.”
Ishani’s lower lip quivered, and a string of tears trickled from the corners of her eyes.
Zahra stepped forward and embraced her mother in a tight hug.
Tristan quietly set the knife down beside the cutting board and stepped into the hallway. He was surprised to find Cannoli on the other side of the threshold, hugging the doorframe and peeking inside.
Cannoli’s cheeks pinked, and she rapidly blinked her bright ruby eyes. “I-I just didn’t want to interrupt anything,” she whispered.
“I know. You’re not the type to eavesdrop.” Tristan grinned.
“Tristan… how do you do that?”
He blinked. “Do what?”
“You always know just what to say to make someone feel better,” Cannoli murmured. She looked into the kitchen and back at him. “Not just to me, but what you said to Ishani about Sanrai was so kind. Even though Sanrai was never nice to us. Not once.”
It was Tristan’s turn to blush. He ran a hand through his hair and crossed his arms, realizing only a second later that it was a gesture he’d picked up from Matt. He sighed and shook his head. “I just try to put myself in their shoes.”
Cannoli cocked her head to the side and touched her chin. “Why would you want to wear their shoes?”
“No, not actually wear their shoes.” Tristan covered a laugh behind his hand. “What I mean is, I think about what I would want to hear in their situation. Like finding you here. You wouldn’t want me to call you a spy, right?”
“No. I would have felt awful if you thought that.”
“Exactly. It’s important to see things from the other person’s perspective, I think. No real magic to it.”
Cannoli rocked on the balls of her feet. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It takes a lot of practice.” He leaned to the side, seeing if he could catch Zahra’s eye.
Zahra locked his gaze and waved him into the kitchen. Ishani dabbed at her eyes with a cloth and inhaled a deep breath.
“Back to work, then?” Tristan asked Cannoli.
“Yes.” She touched his shoulder and flashed him a brilliant smile. “Thank you, Tristan. For the advice.”
“You’re welcome.” He cupped a hand over hers. “Though, a smile like that will make anyone feel better, Cannoli.”
Cannoli giggled and ducked into the kitchen.
“Apologies for my poor manners, Tristan,” Ishani said as he returned.
“Please, you have nothing to apologize for.” He shook his head. “Besides, cutting onyans makes everyone cry, right?”
Ishani laughed, her mood brightened, and they continued to prepare the afternoon meal.
They were able to serve it in good time, and the conversation was light-hearted and cordial. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits and laughed easily. Tristan was happy to enjoy a meal outside of the citadel. The experience was a lot closer to an intimate family gathering rather than the battle strategy style meetings that every meal in Rājadhānī brought with it.
Tristan finished eating before the others and procured his sketchbook from his [Cat Pack]. With the enchanted pen, he sketched a smiling Zahra. Something about her had changed since they first met. She now carried herself with a grace Tristan recognized in Naeemah, and the determined spark in her eyes had changed to one of excitement. She’d succeeded in her mission, and it showed.
Flipping the page, he made one more drawing. A piercing, ruthless gaze. Lips slanted in a dry, knowing smile. Dark tattoos carved into umber skin. Sanrai looked as alive in his sketch as she did in the shadow of the citadel.
As the others readied to leave, he handed the sketches to Ishani. “These are for you.”
Ishani accepted both pieces of parchment, her lips parting in a silent ‘o.’ Eyes wide, she looked at Tristan. “You protected my daughter, and now you grant me such beautiful gifts. Tristan, I have no way of repaying you.”
“You already have, Ishani.” Tristan touched her wrist. “May the wind carry your desires—”
“And the sun warm your back,” she finished for him, clutching the drawings to her chest. “You are truly Saoirse’s gift to this world, child.”
As they departed Madhyam, Tristan let himself believe Ishani’s words, just a little. He knew he’d need them in the coming weeks.
Zahra Pro Tip: Thank you, Tristan, for all you have done for my mother and for me. I will pay your kindness forward.
First Previous Next Volume 1 Volume 2 Patreon
---------------------------------------------------
Thank you for reading!
Advance chapters, Side Quest voting, exclusive NSFW chapters, full-res art (SFW & NSFW), WIPs, and more on Patreon!
Everyone's a Catgirl! Volume One and Volume Two are available for Kindle pre-order now!
EaC! is also available on Royal Road!
Let's hang on Discord!
submitted by DDoubleBlinDD to HFY [link] [comments]
A/N: 4 days left to pre-order Volume 1!
---
The return trip to Madhyam somehow felt a great deal faster than the initial voyage to Rājadhānī. Tristan chalked it up to a combination of things—Encroachers seemed to stay out of their way, the winds and sands moving in their favor, and everyone received at least one full night’s rest. With so many bodies, it was easier to split the night watch between all of them.
Tristan shared his gigashank with Zahra, and they filled the time with idle chatter. His thoughts were consumed by the immense amount of work that lay before him, not allowing for anything deeper than brief observations and inquiries.
Cailu had asked him to essentially resolve the same issues on San Island that plagued San Francisco; homelessness and orphaned kittens. Battling Encroachers and Defiled were one thing, but resurrecting a broken economy? That was a task that could take years of designing and implementing. Just how long did Cailu want him to stay on San?
When they did reach Madhyam, the group made a point to visit Ishani at Tristan’s suggestion. It was the least he could do for Zahra after all of her help. They were welcomed just as warmly as their first visit with Zahra’s mother.
“Three men in my house! What an honor!” Ishani fussed between them, her eyes glittering with wonder. “Please, allow me to serve you a small meal before you continue on.” She rested her hands over her stomach and performed the traditional bow.
Tristan returned it, and Cailu was nearly in sync with his movements. Tristan cleared his throat to catch Matt’s attention and was glad when he followed suit.
“It would be our pleasure,” Cailu replied. “Your daughter has been a tremendous help.”
Ishani straightened her back and clutched her hands to her chest. “You bless us both. Sands walk with you, sir.”
There was an unspoken rule on Ichi when someone invited you to stay. The guests were meant to relax and let the members of the household do all the work. But even with Zahra’s help, preparing anything for thirteen people would be no easy feat.
“Ishani, if you’d permit me to, I’d love to help you prepare everything.” Tristan smiled. “I know there are a lot of us.”
“Oh! Me, too!” Cannoli said. She’d been far more chipper during their journey back than Tristan had seen her in a long time. He hoped it was a good sign.
Ishani studied them for a time, eyes flickering to the full group as her tail rocked back and forth in thought. At last, she nodded. “Yes, I would be glad to have your assistance.”
“And mine, of course,” Zahra chimed in. “It is still my house after all.”
Ishani swept an arm over Zahra’s shoulders and hugged her daughter close. “Of course, my sweet. This will always be your home.”
They moved to the modest kitchen while the rest of the group made their way outside. Cannoli set to work on passing out drinks and preparing small plates while Ishani gave Tristan and Zahra instructions for cutting and seasoning meats. While they worked, Ishani’s questions began to roll in like the tide.
“We heard of Magni’s death a little over two days after it happened,” Ishani began. “An Ejderha arrived begging for Sanctuary. How did it happen?”
Zahra pursed her lips. “The Ejderha didn’t say?”
“It is best to hear a tale from a tongue you trust,” Ishani replied.
“Cailu challenged Magni to a sanctioned duel and won,” Tristan said. “He left the throne to Naeemah.”
“Then it is true. That is wonderful news!” Ishani stoked the flames at the stove, hooking a large pot over the coal. “And what of Sanrai?”
Tristan looked up from his diced onyans and over at Zahra.
Zahra’s expression softened. “Sanrai returned to the sands, Mother,” she said softly. “She refused to see reason.”
Ishani froze, her hand hovering over a ladle. A string of expressions passed over her face, her eyes searching into an abyss they could not see.
Even after the hell Sanrai had put them through, Tristan’s heart broke for her mother. He couldn’t imagine how receiving news like that felt, and he desperately searched for the right thing to say. Sanrai was powerful, intense, calculating. She’d driven them out of the city not once, but twice, and very nearly killed Ceres.
“Zahra did everything she could to bring her sister home.” Tristan was careful to keep his words even. “You raised two incredible daughters, Ishani.”
Ishani’s lower lip quivered, and a string of tears trickled from the corners of her eyes.
Zahra stepped forward and embraced her mother in a tight hug.
Tristan quietly set the knife down beside the cutting board and stepped into the hallway. He was surprised to find Cannoli on the other side of the threshold, hugging the doorframe and peeking inside.
Cannoli’s cheeks pinked, and she rapidly blinked her bright ruby eyes. “I-I just didn’t want to interrupt anything,” she whispered.
“I know. You’re not the type to eavesdrop.” Tristan grinned.
“Tristan… how do you do that?”
He blinked. “Do what?”
“You always know just what to say to make someone feel better,” Cannoli murmured. She looked into the kitchen and back at him. “Not just to me, but what you said to Ishani about Sanrai was so kind. Even though Sanrai was never nice to us. Not once.”
It was Tristan’s turn to blush. He ran a hand through his hair and crossed his arms, realizing only a second later that it was a gesture he’d picked up from Matt. He sighed and shook his head. “I just try to put myself in their shoes.”
Cannoli cocked her head to the side and touched her chin. “Why would you want to wear their shoes?”
“No, not actually wear their shoes.” Tristan covered a laugh behind his hand. “What I mean is, I think about what I would want to hear in their situation. Like finding you here. You wouldn’t want me to call you a spy, right?”
“No. I would have felt awful if you thought that.”
“Exactly. It’s important to see things from the other person’s perspective, I think. No real magic to it.”
Cannoli rocked on the balls of her feet. “You make it sound so easy.”
“It takes a lot of practice.” He leaned to the side, seeing if he could catch Zahra’s eye.
Zahra locked his gaze and waved him into the kitchen. Ishani dabbed at her eyes with a cloth and inhaled a deep breath.
“Back to work, then?” Tristan asked Cannoli.
“Yes.” She touched his shoulder and flashed him a brilliant smile. “Thank you, Tristan. For the advice.”
“You’re welcome.” He cupped a hand over hers. “Though, a smile like that will make anyone feel better, Cannoli.”
Cannoli giggled and ducked into the kitchen.
“Apologies for my poor manners, Tristan,” Ishani said as he returned.
“Please, you have nothing to apologize for.” He shook his head. “Besides, cutting onyans makes everyone cry, right?”
Ishani laughed, her mood brightened, and they continued to prepare the afternoon meal.
They were able to serve it in good time, and the conversation was light-hearted and cordial. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits and laughed easily. Tristan was happy to enjoy a meal outside of the citadel. The experience was a lot closer to an intimate family gathering rather than the battle strategy style meetings that every meal in Rājadhānī brought with it.
Tristan finished eating before the others and procured his sketchbook from his [Cat Pack]. With the enchanted pen, he sketched a smiling Zahra. Something about her had changed since they first met. She now carried herself with a grace Tristan recognized in Naeemah, and the determined spark in her eyes had changed to one of excitement. She’d succeeded in her mission, and it showed.
Flipping the page, he made one more drawing. A piercing, ruthless gaze. Lips slanted in a dry, knowing smile. Dark tattoos carved into umber skin. Sanrai looked as alive in his sketch as she did in the shadow of the citadel.
As the others readied to leave, he handed the sketches to Ishani. “These are for you.”
Ishani accepted both pieces of parchment, her lips parting in a silent ‘o.’ Eyes wide, she looked at Tristan. “You protected my daughter, and now you grant me such beautiful gifts. Tristan, I have no way of repaying you.”
“You already have, Ishani.” Tristan touched her wrist. “May the wind carry your desires—”
“And the sun warm your back,” she finished for him, clutching the drawings to her chest. “You are truly Saoirse’s gift to this world, child.”
As they departed Madhyam, Tristan let himself believe Ishani’s words, just a little. He knew he’d need them in the coming weeks.
Zahra Pro Tip: Thank you, Tristan, for all you have done for my mother and for me. I will pay your kindness forward.
First Previous Next Volume 1 Volume 2 Patreon
---------------------------------------------------
Thank you for reading!
Advance chapters, Side Quest voting, exclusive NSFW chapters, full-res art (SFW & NSFW), WIPs, and more on Patreon!
Everyone's a Catgirl! Volume One and Volume Two are available for Kindle pre-order now!
EaC! is also available on Royal Road!
Let's hang on Discord!
2023.05.30 06:34 MonstersOnTheHill I am late 30s, live outside NYC, and have a HHI of $400k+. I work full time, have two kids, and am a grad student
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: $460K (mine) and $250K (husband’s). We both max out our annual withholdings. I’ve been working longer than him, and my employer offers a more generous match, which contributed significantly to my balance.
Equity: $275K. Our home is currently worth about $450K. We live in a M-HCOL area (far) outside of NYC, and our home was a fixer upper when we bought it. Honestly, it’s still a fixer, and we are saving towards a major renovation.
Cars: Maybe $15-$20k total…we drive two paid off cars. One is 13 years old, and the other is 10 years old.
Other Cash and Investments: $150K
Credit card debt: None, paid every month
Student loan debt (for what degree): $80K towards the grad degree I’m pursuing now. Since we’re saving towards the home reno, I’m financing my degree rather than paying for it outright. I know this is counterintuitive given the interest rate environment. However, home reno is a critical priority for us.
Daughters’ 529s: $75K
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 13 years and my starting salary was $40,000.
I work as a Director of Financial Planning & Analysis in a niche field. I won’t go into too many details because it’s a small world. My salary progression was as follows:
Year 1: $40,000 starting, right after recession. I had an amazing boss who mentored me and recognized my potential. After six months, I received a promotion and raise to $60,000.
Year 3: Promotion and raise to $90,000, for a role with more financial and analytical responsibility. Although I worked hard, I continued to benefit from having a boss who advocated for me. I consider this a major turning point.
Year 8: Raise to $120,000 for additional responsibilities after a coworker retired.
Year 10: Raise to $135,000
I’ve received an average of 2.5% COLA increases and now earn $145K. My boss has requested a $10,000 bonus for me this year, which I haven’t yet included because it’s still under review.
My husband earns $260,000 base salary as a VP of a large corporation (this is a very recent raise…he was at $200K previously). In addition, he can receive a performance-based bonus of 20-30%. We don’t include his bonuses in our financial planning because they are not guaranteed and because a portion is RSUs. When he receives a cash bonus, we put it towards our daughter’s college accounts and/or our home reno fund.
Education: I have a bachelors and a masters in a field unrelated to my career. My tuition was paid by scholarships/assistantships. In addition, my parents covered my living expenses during undergrad. During my first graduate degree, I worked 3 part-time jobs to cover my non-tuition expenses. I’m now enrolled in a grad program more directly related to my career. My employer encouraged me to do this program and generously allows me the time out of office. In addition, if I stay for a certain number of years, they will reimburse a portion of my tuition.
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
Monthly take home: $6,300 after taxes, retirement ($1,875) and medical/dental benefits ($110– self only)
Husband’s monthly take home: $12,560 after taxes, retirement ($1,875), and medical/dental ($400 for him and our two kids)
Section Three: Expenses
Mortgage: $2,485 for principal, interest, insurance, and taxes. We refinanced to a 15-year loan at 2.3% when rates were low
Daycare: $3,510 per month (full-time for a toddler and preschooler)
Savings contribution: $3,000-$5,000
Daughters’ 529 accounts: $2,000 ($1,000 each)
Debt payments: $700 towards my student loans. This will increase once I’m done with my degree
Donations: $3,000 annually
Transit $350-400 for husband’s commute (3x/week to NYC)
Electric: $60
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $120
Cellphone: $180
Subscriptions: $59 for Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, Duolingo, Apple Storage, and credit monitoring
Gym membership: $149 for Pure Barre
Husband’s physical therapy: $130 (portion not covered by insurance)
Car insurance: $3,200 annually. (This seems high, considering we have good records, don’t drive much, and both cars are paid off. I need to look into this)
Life Insurance: $3,100 annually
Day 1 (Saturday):
6:00 AM: Wake up. I’m doing a modular course for my graduate degree, and the class wraps up today. I study for the exam that happens this afternoon. A little after 7, I walk to a nearby coffee shop and buy a large Americano for $4.50 including tip. When I’m back at the hotel, I pack up my room since I fly home tonight. I leave a $20 tip for the housekeeping staff and scribble a thank you note on some scratch paper. On the way out, I drop my bags at the bell stand. The hotel cost is covered by tuition.
9:00: Meet with my study team to finalize a paper and presentation that’s due today. At noon, we break for lunch (also covered by tuition). I have a salad and lots of carbonated caffeine. After lunch, we have an hour-long final exam.
2:00: Final course wrap up. It’s been an intense week-long session. I learned a lot, but am so ready to head home. I walk back to the hotel to retrieve my bags. Along the way, I stop to buy an empanada ($8 including tip). Then I call an Uber to the airport ($55 including tip). While in the Uber, I talk to my husband and daughters, who are 1.5 and almost 4. Due to the time difference, it’s their bedtime and if I don’t catch them now, I’ll lose my chance. I promise them that I’ll be home when they wake up in the morning. A lot of my classmates went to dinner together before heading to the airport. On the one hand, I have FOMO because my classmates are awesome. But on the other hand, it was really important to me to talk to my family, and I know I couldn’t have done that easily in a bustling restaurant (i’ve tried, and it was a frustrating experience for everyone!).
6:00: Arrive at the airport. I check my bag ($35). Once I’m through security, I pick up some souvenirs. My hotel wasn’t in an area with good shopping options, and the class days were pretty packed anyway. I get locally made chocolate for my husband. The girls get a small stuffed animal each, and a book to share ($70 total). Then I treat myself to crab cakes and a French 75 to celebrate the end of the week ($60 including tip).
10:00: On the flight, I read until the cabin lights go out and then try to sleep. I used to be able to sleep better on red eyes, but I wake up every 15 minutes.
Day 1 Total: $252.50
Day 2 (Sunday):
6:00: Flight lands and I gather my bags and take the parking shuttle. Although I parked in an economy lot, the total was still $174. Ugh – this has been an expensive week.
7:45: Arrive home. The girls crawled into our bed and are snuggled up next to my husband. The toddler wakes up as I come into the room and the look on her face when she sees me is indescribably gratifying. Our preschooler wakes up soon after. It’s so good to be reunited with my people! We all head downstairs and have breakfast (waffles and cereal, plus a huge pot of coffee). It’s cold and rainy today and we spend the morning watching TV together.
10:00: Our toddler falls asleep for her nap, and my husband encourages me to do the same. Our preschooler is happily entertaining herself with Legos and puzzles, so I doze for a couple hours. Around 1:00, we all have turkey sandwiches for lunch. Then, I take over kid duty so my husband can finally have some time to himself. He spends the afternoon woodworking in his basement workshop.
2:00: Our preschooler’s birthday is coming up. I buy digital invites from Etsy ($12) and send them to Staples to print ($16 with a promo). They are ready in about 2 hours and we pick them up. My preschooler asks for kinetic sand at Staples and I cave in and buy it for her ($11). I constantly complain about the amount of “stuff” in our house, but to be honest, I’m guilty of contributing to the clutter. When we get home, I spend the afternoon doing crafts with the girls.
5:15: We heat up some leftovers that my inLlaws dropped off while I was gone. We do the girls’ bedtime routine a little early since everyone seems tired. Lights out by 8:00 for the girls. Then I catch up on work email and start making a list for the week. For the purposes of this money diary, my husband mentions that he spent $270 yesterday on groceries. Then I watch Succession and head to bed
Day 2 Total: $387
Day 3 (Monday):
5:08: My alarm goes off because I typically go to Pure Barre on Monday morning. I’m still jetlagged so I decide not to go today. I hadn’t actually signed up for a class because I had a feeling this would happen.
6:30: Everyone else is still asleep, so I go downstairs to make coffee and enjoy a few quiet moments to myself. When my husband and kids wake up, we all have breakfast (frozen waffles and berries for the kids. English muffins for the adults).
8:30: Drop the kids off at daycare and then get to work. I work primarily from home, so I just have to walk upstairs to my office nook. I spend the morning prepping for an important meeting tomorrow with senior leadership. I get a reminder on our phone that our toddler has a well-child visit today…usually I sync my calendars, but I totally neglected to log this on my work calendar, and it conflicts with a meeting with our chief of staff. CRAP. I debate canceling the doctor’s appointment, but decide to keep it. Our toddler is getting vaccines today and if I don’t keep the appointment, I’m not sure when I can reschedule. I apologize profusely to our COS and ask if we can reschedule. She says not to worry, and that she appreciates the extra time in her schedule…hopefully I didn’t make a bad judgment call.
1:15: I quickly eat a turkey sandwich for lunch and then pick up our toddler from daycare for her appointment. These well visits usually take 30 minutes and are covered by insurance. As luck would have it, we spend 90 minutes waiting because they are running behind. Luckily, I have snacks and activities in my purse to occupy her. To pass the time, I browse for favors and paper goods for our older daughter’s upcoming party. I end up buying paper goods, decor, and favors ($67 from Target) and iced sugar cookies ($240 from Etsy). As I type this, I realize how bananas it is to spend that much on decorated sugar cookies. Our incomes have increased pretty dramatically in the past few years, and although we haven’t increased our fixed expenses, we’ve definitely succumbed to lifestyle inflation for one-off things like this. It’s something I need to be aware of. I’m finally home around 3:30, just in time for my next call. My husband is WFH today and takes over kid duty during this call.
5:15: It’s time to pick up our older daughter from preschool, but my call is running long so my husband picks her up. For dinner, we make salads topped with roast chicken. The toddler loves salad, but our preschooler proclaims “I don’t like green leaves – I’m not a caterpillar!”. Well, okay then.
8:30: We do the girls’ bedtime routine, and then I continue prepping for tomorrow’s meeting. I wrap up around 1:00 am. While I’m working, husband preps two meals that just need to be reheated sometime later in the week. Good night!
Day 3 Total: $307
Day 4 (Tuesday):
7:30: Kids and I sleep in a bit this morning. My husband left home around 5:45 since he’s going into the office, so the three of us are on our own. For breakfast, the toddler has toast and berries. The preschooler has bran cereal and a frozen waffle. I eat their scraps, washed down with coffee.
9:15: I drop the kids off at daycare a little late this morning. Then I get working and practice the presentation I’m giving at 11:00
12:05: Call is over and I think it went as well as could be expected. I make myself a turkey sandwich for lunch. Then I go to the post office to mail a birth certificate request for our youngest daughter’s passport application. The cost for the birth certificate is $50. I also spend $15 at the post office to mail the envelope and buy stamps. Then it’s back to work.
5:10: Pick the girls up from school. My husband gets home around 6:45. Dinner tonight is a tofu and broccoli stir fry with rice. I don’t cook much, but I make this meal weekly and it’s everyone’s favorite. The secret is that I use soy sauce that is seasoned for seafood. I can’t explain what’s different, but the taste is so much different than standard soy sauce.
7:30: Bathtime and bed for the girls. I text with a mom from daycare whose kids are the same age as ours. We arrange a playdate for an upcoming weekend. I’m hopeful that she and I will develop a friendship – making friends is hard when you’re an adult!
9:10: I debate doing schoolwork or “work work.” Schoolwork wins tonight…I spend about two hours prepping a case study.
Day 4 Total: $65
Day 5 (Wednesday):
5:30: Wake up and start working. I still have a lot of deliverables to catch up on. Husband leaves as usual to commute into the city.
7:00: I get an email and text message that daycare had to close today due to unforeseen circumstances. There was an issue with their plumbing that impacts the whole building. Oh no – I immediately feel a pit in my stomach. I really can’t afford this today, especially because I am out this Friday for another day of class. Although our preschooler is pretty independent, our toddler needs constant supervision. She’s always a moment away from jumping off a couch, climbing on a table, or otherwise causing herself bodily harm. My husband has multiple meetings with his division president today so he can’t realistically come home to help. Argh. I feed us all breakfast and prepare myself for a difficult day. I send my boss an email to let him know the situation, but promise to stay on top of my work after hours as needed. I also log a half day of PTO in the payroll system…I figure I can probably be about 50% productive today.
10:00: Our toddler falls asleep for a nap, so I frantically send out emails and run reports. Our preschooler watches shows on her tablet.
12:15: Toddler is up from her nap. Our poor preschooler has been on her tablet for too long and her eyes are glazed over. I decide to take the girls out for lunch to break up the day. We go to Jersey Mikes since it’s nearby and fast. The girls each have a kids meal and the toddler is delighted that it includes a kids cup. I have an Italian sub ($29). We eat outside and the preschooler hums and loudly proclaims "I love Jersey Mike's!"
1:30: We get back home and I jump on an internal call. Thankfully the girls are well behaved and don’t cause any disruptions, beyond waving hello at the start of the call.
3:00 I have another call and the girls are again on their best behavior. PTL. Maybe I’m just lucky, or maybe it’s that I bribed them with cookies.
4:45: I wrap up the workday a little early. I take the girls on a walk since the weather is nice. When we get back inside, they immediately melt down. The toddler wants to be held constantly, which is a challenge because she weighs 24 pounds. The preschooler is thrashing, spitting at me, and throwing toys. I resist a really strong urge to scream or cry or break something or hide in the bathroom – maybe all at once. Instead, I heat up one of the meals my husband made earlier this week. When our preschooler calms down, she asks if I still love her when she’s bad. She’s been asking this question a lot recently, and it makes me wonder if it’s just a phase, or if she needs more reassurance from us. Either way, it's heartbreaking to know she worries about this.
7:30: Husband had a late meeting, so he gets home later than normal. We do the girls bedtime and bathtime routines. We get another note from daycare saying that the plumbing issue is, unfortunately, still unresolved. We’ll get a tuition credit, but they will be closed another day. Husband and I talk through logistics. We agree that he’ll go into the city again tomorrow and I’ll handle the kids. His company is in the middle of a major reorg and it’s important for him to be there in person. We decide to ask his parents if they are available to help tomorrow. Between work, the kids, and my grad program, sometimes I feel like the only thing we talk about is logistics. It’s been at least 6 months since we’ve been on a date.
10:00: I catch up on work, and also prep for school this coming weekend. I go to bed a little after 1:00.
Day 5 Total: $29
Day 6 (Thursday):
5:45: Husband is up and out of the house at his normal time. I wake up and run some financial reports while I have the chance.
7:30: Kids are awake. While they eat breakfast I pack their activity bags and snacks since we’re going to my in-laws today. They are semi-retired and often help when we have childcare hiccups. They are truly a godsend. They live about an hour away and we arrive at their house a little after 10:00. On the way, I fill my car up with gas ($52).
12:30: The girls are having a blast with my in-laws. We take a break for lunch, which is chicken nuggets and hummus for the girls. I eat their scraps and also have some Greek yogurt.
4:15: I have a full afternoon of calls, but it goes smoothly thanks to the grandparents. We leave a few minutes after 5:00 and both girls fall asleep before we reach the first traffic light. This makes for a peaceful drive home. Traffic is heavy so we get home around 6:30. I open the mail, and find a surprise medical bill for $572. This is for the toddler’s trip to the ER…14 months ago! This is the first bill we are getting and honestly it had completely slipped my mind. She had a triple infection and ended up severely dehydrated. Seeing this bill dredges up all sorts of unpleasant memories. I’m grateful we have the means to pay this without issue, and I’m grateful she is healthy. I understand it's a privilege to pay a bill like this without thinking twice.
6:45: Husband arrives home. We reheat a pasta dish he made earlier this week and have a salad on the side. The girls are beat today, so we skip bathtime and let them go straight to bed. Thankfully, daycare can reopen tomorrow. I feel like a weight’s been lifted from my shoulders, especially since I have class tomorrow.
9:00: I have a call with my school study team to work on our group project. It lasts for about an hour.
10:30: Husband and I discuss buying a swing set for our backyard. He’s narrowed it down to two choices, and they’re both awesome: three swings, a rock wall, slide, and clubhouse area. I think they both look great, so I leave the final decision in his hands. The total with shipping and tax ends up being $1760. We considered buying a pre-assembled swing set to save time, but similar models cost nearly $6K. He’s handy, so he said he’d prefer to assemble it himself.
Day 6 Total: $2,384
Day 7 (Friday):
6:15: I have class today so I eat breakfast and get dressed early. I tend to wear a lot of athleisure when working from home. Today I put on a structured ponte dress and hastily apply Tarte makeup to give my skin some color. Every time I make the effort to get dressed, I'm reminded that I really do feel more confident when I look put together. I get to school around 9:00 for my first class.
12:00: Break in my schedule for lunch. I eat a salad and some kind of chicken dish, while catching up with classmates. For dessert, I have a huge bowl of berries. Lots more coffee to keep me awake and engaged during class.
7:00: Classes are over for the day. I pay parking ($17) and am on my way. I get home at 8:30, in time to do bedtime with my girls. Husband made veggie quesadillas with black beans and guac, which I eat once the girls are asleep. I check my work email to make sure nothing is on fire. Then my husband and I watch an episode of “What We Do In the Shadows” and turn in for the night.
Day 7 Total: $17
WEEKLY TOTALS
Food + Drink: $371.50
Fun / Entertainment: $2,106
Home + Health: $572
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $333
Other: $155
Weekly Total: $3537.5
Reflections: Some of this week’s expenditures were unusual: the swing set, my travel expenses, and that old ER bill are not part of our normal recurring expenses. However, the rest of this week's spending was pretty typical. I realize a lot of this diary revolved around sorting out childcare disruptions…honestly, that takes so much mental and logistical energy on a weekly basis. Writing this diary also made me realize how little time my husband and I spend together. Often we feel like we’re in survival mode, but we need to be more intentional about prioritizing our relationship.
submitted by MonstersOnTheHill to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]
Retirement Balance: $460K (mine) and $250K (husband’s). We both max out our annual withholdings. I’ve been working longer than him, and my employer offers a more generous match, which contributed significantly to my balance.
Equity: $275K. Our home is currently worth about $450K. We live in a M-HCOL area (far) outside of NYC, and our home was a fixer upper when we bought it. Honestly, it’s still a fixer, and we are saving towards a major renovation.
Cars: Maybe $15-$20k total…we drive two paid off cars. One is 13 years old, and the other is 10 years old.
Other Cash and Investments: $150K
Credit card debt: None, paid every month
Student loan debt (for what degree): $80K towards the grad degree I’m pursuing now. Since we’re saving towards the home reno, I’m financing my degree rather than paying for it outright. I know this is counterintuitive given the interest rate environment. However, home reno is a critical priority for us.
Daughters’ 529s: $75K
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 13 years and my starting salary was $40,000.
I work as a Director of Financial Planning & Analysis in a niche field. I won’t go into too many details because it’s a small world. My salary progression was as follows:
Year 1: $40,000 starting, right after recession. I had an amazing boss who mentored me and recognized my potential. After six months, I received a promotion and raise to $60,000.
Year 3: Promotion and raise to $90,000, for a role with more financial and analytical responsibility. Although I worked hard, I continued to benefit from having a boss who advocated for me. I consider this a major turning point.
Year 8: Raise to $120,000 for additional responsibilities after a coworker retired.
Year 10: Raise to $135,000
I’ve received an average of 2.5% COLA increases and now earn $145K. My boss has requested a $10,000 bonus for me this year, which I haven’t yet included because it’s still under review.
My husband earns $260,000 base salary as a VP of a large corporation (this is a very recent raise…he was at $200K previously). In addition, he can receive a performance-based bonus of 20-30%. We don’t include his bonuses in our financial planning because they are not guaranteed and because a portion is RSUs. When he receives a cash bonus, we put it towards our daughter’s college accounts and/or our home reno fund.
Education: I have a bachelors and a masters in a field unrelated to my career. My tuition was paid by scholarships/assistantships. In addition, my parents covered my living expenses during undergrad. During my first graduate degree, I worked 3 part-time jobs to cover my non-tuition expenses. I’m now enrolled in a grad program more directly related to my career. My employer encouraged me to do this program and generously allows me the time out of office. In addition, if I stay for a certain number of years, they will reimburse a portion of my tuition.
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
Monthly take home: $6,300 after taxes, retirement ($1,875) and medical/dental benefits ($110– self only)
Husband’s monthly take home: $12,560 after taxes, retirement ($1,875), and medical/dental ($400 for him and our two kids)
Section Three: Expenses
Mortgage: $2,485 for principal, interest, insurance, and taxes. We refinanced to a 15-year loan at 2.3% when rates were low
Daycare: $3,510 per month (full-time for a toddler and preschooler)
Savings contribution: $3,000-$5,000
Daughters’ 529 accounts: $2,000 ($1,000 each)
Debt payments: $700 towards my student loans. This will increase once I’m done with my degree
Donations: $3,000 annually
Transit $350-400 for husband’s commute (3x/week to NYC)
Electric: $60
Wifi/Cable/Landline: $120
Cellphone: $180
Subscriptions: $59 for Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, Duolingo, Apple Storage, and credit monitoring
Gym membership: $149 for Pure Barre
Husband’s physical therapy: $130 (portion not covered by insurance)
Car insurance: $3,200 annually. (This seems high, considering we have good records, don’t drive much, and both cars are paid off. I need to look into this)
Life Insurance: $3,100 annually
Day 1 (Saturday):
6:00 AM: Wake up. I’m doing a modular course for my graduate degree, and the class wraps up today. I study for the exam that happens this afternoon. A little after 7, I walk to a nearby coffee shop and buy a large Americano for $4.50 including tip. When I’m back at the hotel, I pack up my room since I fly home tonight. I leave a $20 tip for the housekeeping staff and scribble a thank you note on some scratch paper. On the way out, I drop my bags at the bell stand. The hotel cost is covered by tuition.
9:00: Meet with my study team to finalize a paper and presentation that’s due today. At noon, we break for lunch (also covered by tuition). I have a salad and lots of carbonated caffeine. After lunch, we have an hour-long final exam.
2:00: Final course wrap up. It’s been an intense week-long session. I learned a lot, but am so ready to head home. I walk back to the hotel to retrieve my bags. Along the way, I stop to buy an empanada ($8 including tip). Then I call an Uber to the airport ($55 including tip). While in the Uber, I talk to my husband and daughters, who are 1.5 and almost 4. Due to the time difference, it’s their bedtime and if I don’t catch them now, I’ll lose my chance. I promise them that I’ll be home when they wake up in the morning. A lot of my classmates went to dinner together before heading to the airport. On the one hand, I have FOMO because my classmates are awesome. But on the other hand, it was really important to me to talk to my family, and I know I couldn’t have done that easily in a bustling restaurant (i’ve tried, and it was a frustrating experience for everyone!).
6:00: Arrive at the airport. I check my bag ($35). Once I’m through security, I pick up some souvenirs. My hotel wasn’t in an area with good shopping options, and the class days were pretty packed anyway. I get locally made chocolate for my husband. The girls get a small stuffed animal each, and a book to share ($70 total). Then I treat myself to crab cakes and a French 75 to celebrate the end of the week ($60 including tip).
10:00: On the flight, I read until the cabin lights go out and then try to sleep. I used to be able to sleep better on red eyes, but I wake up every 15 minutes.
Day 1 Total: $252.50
Day 2 (Sunday):
6:00: Flight lands and I gather my bags and take the parking shuttle. Although I parked in an economy lot, the total was still $174. Ugh – this has been an expensive week.
7:45: Arrive home. The girls crawled into our bed and are snuggled up next to my husband. The toddler wakes up as I come into the room and the look on her face when she sees me is indescribably gratifying. Our preschooler wakes up soon after. It’s so good to be reunited with my people! We all head downstairs and have breakfast (waffles and cereal, plus a huge pot of coffee). It’s cold and rainy today and we spend the morning watching TV together.
10:00: Our toddler falls asleep for her nap, and my husband encourages me to do the same. Our preschooler is happily entertaining herself with Legos and puzzles, so I doze for a couple hours. Around 1:00, we all have turkey sandwiches for lunch. Then, I take over kid duty so my husband can finally have some time to himself. He spends the afternoon woodworking in his basement workshop.
2:00: Our preschooler’s birthday is coming up. I buy digital invites from Etsy ($12) and send them to Staples to print ($16 with a promo). They are ready in about 2 hours and we pick them up. My preschooler asks for kinetic sand at Staples and I cave in and buy it for her ($11). I constantly complain about the amount of “stuff” in our house, but to be honest, I’m guilty of contributing to the clutter. When we get home, I spend the afternoon doing crafts with the girls.
5:15: We heat up some leftovers that my inLlaws dropped off while I was gone. We do the girls’ bedtime routine a little early since everyone seems tired. Lights out by 8:00 for the girls. Then I catch up on work email and start making a list for the week. For the purposes of this money diary, my husband mentions that he spent $270 yesterday on groceries. Then I watch Succession and head to bed
Day 2 Total: $387
Day 3 (Monday):
5:08: My alarm goes off because I typically go to Pure Barre on Monday morning. I’m still jetlagged so I decide not to go today. I hadn’t actually signed up for a class because I had a feeling this would happen.
6:30: Everyone else is still asleep, so I go downstairs to make coffee and enjoy a few quiet moments to myself. When my husband and kids wake up, we all have breakfast (frozen waffles and berries for the kids. English muffins for the adults).
8:30: Drop the kids off at daycare and then get to work. I work primarily from home, so I just have to walk upstairs to my office nook. I spend the morning prepping for an important meeting tomorrow with senior leadership. I get a reminder on our phone that our toddler has a well-child visit today…usually I sync my calendars, but I totally neglected to log this on my work calendar, and it conflicts with a meeting with our chief of staff. CRAP. I debate canceling the doctor’s appointment, but decide to keep it. Our toddler is getting vaccines today and if I don’t keep the appointment, I’m not sure when I can reschedule. I apologize profusely to our COS and ask if we can reschedule. She says not to worry, and that she appreciates the extra time in her schedule…hopefully I didn’t make a bad judgment call.
1:15: I quickly eat a turkey sandwich for lunch and then pick up our toddler from daycare for her appointment. These well visits usually take 30 minutes and are covered by insurance. As luck would have it, we spend 90 minutes waiting because they are running behind. Luckily, I have snacks and activities in my purse to occupy her. To pass the time, I browse for favors and paper goods for our older daughter’s upcoming party. I end up buying paper goods, decor, and favors ($67 from Target) and iced sugar cookies ($240 from Etsy). As I type this, I realize how bananas it is to spend that much on decorated sugar cookies. Our incomes have increased pretty dramatically in the past few years, and although we haven’t increased our fixed expenses, we’ve definitely succumbed to lifestyle inflation for one-off things like this. It’s something I need to be aware of. I’m finally home around 3:30, just in time for my next call. My husband is WFH today and takes over kid duty during this call.
5:15: It’s time to pick up our older daughter from preschool, but my call is running long so my husband picks her up. For dinner, we make salads topped with roast chicken. The toddler loves salad, but our preschooler proclaims “I don’t like green leaves – I’m not a caterpillar!”. Well, okay then.
8:30: We do the girls’ bedtime routine, and then I continue prepping for tomorrow’s meeting. I wrap up around 1:00 am. While I’m working, husband preps two meals that just need to be reheated sometime later in the week. Good night!
Day 3 Total: $307
Day 4 (Tuesday):
7:30: Kids and I sleep in a bit this morning. My husband left home around 5:45 since he’s going into the office, so the three of us are on our own. For breakfast, the toddler has toast and berries. The preschooler has bran cereal and a frozen waffle. I eat their scraps, washed down with coffee.
9:15: I drop the kids off at daycare a little late this morning. Then I get working and practice the presentation I’m giving at 11:00
12:05: Call is over and I think it went as well as could be expected. I make myself a turkey sandwich for lunch. Then I go to the post office to mail a birth certificate request for our youngest daughter’s passport application. The cost for the birth certificate is $50. I also spend $15 at the post office to mail the envelope and buy stamps. Then it’s back to work.
5:10: Pick the girls up from school. My husband gets home around 6:45. Dinner tonight is a tofu and broccoli stir fry with rice. I don’t cook much, but I make this meal weekly and it’s everyone’s favorite. The secret is that I use soy sauce that is seasoned for seafood. I can’t explain what’s different, but the taste is so much different than standard soy sauce.
7:30: Bathtime and bed for the girls. I text with a mom from daycare whose kids are the same age as ours. We arrange a playdate for an upcoming weekend. I’m hopeful that she and I will develop a friendship – making friends is hard when you’re an adult!
9:10: I debate doing schoolwork or “work work.” Schoolwork wins tonight…I spend about two hours prepping a case study.
Day 4 Total: $65
Day 5 (Wednesday):
5:30: Wake up and start working. I still have a lot of deliverables to catch up on. Husband leaves as usual to commute into the city.
7:00: I get an email and text message that daycare had to close today due to unforeseen circumstances. There was an issue with their plumbing that impacts the whole building. Oh no – I immediately feel a pit in my stomach. I really can’t afford this today, especially because I am out this Friday for another day of class. Although our preschooler is pretty independent, our toddler needs constant supervision. She’s always a moment away from jumping off a couch, climbing on a table, or otherwise causing herself bodily harm. My husband has multiple meetings with his division president today so he can’t realistically come home to help. Argh. I feed us all breakfast and prepare myself for a difficult day. I send my boss an email to let him know the situation, but promise to stay on top of my work after hours as needed. I also log a half day of PTO in the payroll system…I figure I can probably be about 50% productive today.
10:00: Our toddler falls asleep for a nap, so I frantically send out emails and run reports. Our preschooler watches shows on her tablet.
12:15: Toddler is up from her nap. Our poor preschooler has been on her tablet for too long and her eyes are glazed over. I decide to take the girls out for lunch to break up the day. We go to Jersey Mikes since it’s nearby and fast. The girls each have a kids meal and the toddler is delighted that it includes a kids cup. I have an Italian sub ($29). We eat outside and the preschooler hums and loudly proclaims "I love Jersey Mike's!"
1:30: We get back home and I jump on an internal call. Thankfully the girls are well behaved and don’t cause any disruptions, beyond waving hello at the start of the call.
3:00 I have another call and the girls are again on their best behavior. PTL. Maybe I’m just lucky, or maybe it’s that I bribed them with cookies.
4:45: I wrap up the workday a little early. I take the girls on a walk since the weather is nice. When we get back inside, they immediately melt down. The toddler wants to be held constantly, which is a challenge because she weighs 24 pounds. The preschooler is thrashing, spitting at me, and throwing toys. I resist a really strong urge to scream or cry or break something or hide in the bathroom – maybe all at once. Instead, I heat up one of the meals my husband made earlier this week. When our preschooler calms down, she asks if I still love her when she’s bad. She’s been asking this question a lot recently, and it makes me wonder if it’s just a phase, or if she needs more reassurance from us. Either way, it's heartbreaking to know she worries about this.
7:30: Husband had a late meeting, so he gets home later than normal. We do the girls bedtime and bathtime routines. We get another note from daycare saying that the plumbing issue is, unfortunately, still unresolved. We’ll get a tuition credit, but they will be closed another day. Husband and I talk through logistics. We agree that he’ll go into the city again tomorrow and I’ll handle the kids. His company is in the middle of a major reorg and it’s important for him to be there in person. We decide to ask his parents if they are available to help tomorrow. Between work, the kids, and my grad program, sometimes I feel like the only thing we talk about is logistics. It’s been at least 6 months since we’ve been on a date.
10:00: I catch up on work, and also prep for school this coming weekend. I go to bed a little after 1:00.
Day 5 Total: $29
Day 6 (Thursday):
5:45: Husband is up and out of the house at his normal time. I wake up and run some financial reports while I have the chance.
7:30: Kids are awake. While they eat breakfast I pack their activity bags and snacks since we’re going to my in-laws today. They are semi-retired and often help when we have childcare hiccups. They are truly a godsend. They live about an hour away and we arrive at their house a little after 10:00. On the way, I fill my car up with gas ($52).
12:30: The girls are having a blast with my in-laws. We take a break for lunch, which is chicken nuggets and hummus for the girls. I eat their scraps and also have some Greek yogurt.
4:15: I have a full afternoon of calls, but it goes smoothly thanks to the grandparents. We leave a few minutes after 5:00 and both girls fall asleep before we reach the first traffic light. This makes for a peaceful drive home. Traffic is heavy so we get home around 6:30. I open the mail, and find a surprise medical bill for $572. This is for the toddler’s trip to the ER…14 months ago! This is the first bill we are getting and honestly it had completely slipped my mind. She had a triple infection and ended up severely dehydrated. Seeing this bill dredges up all sorts of unpleasant memories. I’m grateful we have the means to pay this without issue, and I’m grateful she is healthy. I understand it's a privilege to pay a bill like this without thinking twice.
6:45: Husband arrives home. We reheat a pasta dish he made earlier this week and have a salad on the side. The girls are beat today, so we skip bathtime and let them go straight to bed. Thankfully, daycare can reopen tomorrow. I feel like a weight’s been lifted from my shoulders, especially since I have class tomorrow.
9:00: I have a call with my school study team to work on our group project. It lasts for about an hour.
10:30: Husband and I discuss buying a swing set for our backyard. He’s narrowed it down to two choices, and they’re both awesome: three swings, a rock wall, slide, and clubhouse area. I think they both look great, so I leave the final decision in his hands. The total with shipping and tax ends up being $1760. We considered buying a pre-assembled swing set to save time, but similar models cost nearly $6K. He’s handy, so he said he’d prefer to assemble it himself.
Day 6 Total: $2,384
Day 7 (Friday):
6:15: I have class today so I eat breakfast and get dressed early. I tend to wear a lot of athleisure when working from home. Today I put on a structured ponte dress and hastily apply Tarte makeup to give my skin some color. Every time I make the effort to get dressed, I'm reminded that I really do feel more confident when I look put together. I get to school around 9:00 for my first class.
12:00: Break in my schedule for lunch. I eat a salad and some kind of chicken dish, while catching up with classmates. For dessert, I have a huge bowl of berries. Lots more coffee to keep me awake and engaged during class.
7:00: Classes are over for the day. I pay parking ($17) and am on my way. I get home at 8:30, in time to do bedtime with my girls. Husband made veggie quesadillas with black beans and guac, which I eat once the girls are asleep. I check my work email to make sure nothing is on fire. Then my husband and I watch an episode of “What We Do In the Shadows” and turn in for the night.
Day 7 Total: $17
WEEKLY TOTALS
Food + Drink: $371.50
Fun / Entertainment: $2,106
Home + Health: $572
Clothes + Beauty: $0
Transport: $333
Other: $155
Weekly Total: $3537.5
Reflections: Some of this week’s expenditures were unusual: the swing set, my travel expenses, and that old ER bill are not part of our normal recurring expenses. However, the rest of this week's spending was pretty typical. I realize a lot of this diary revolved around sorting out childcare disruptions…honestly, that takes so much mental and logistical energy on a weekly basis. Writing this diary also made me realize how little time my husband and I spend together. Often we feel like we’re in survival mode, but we need to be more intentional about prioritizing our relationship.
2023.05.30 06:33 Alternative_Cook_102 Dragon Ball GT Power Scale (Part 1)
Dragon Ball GT Power Scale (Part 1, The black star dragon balls and Baby arc)
Cool Picture (don't click)
Hello everyone, this a remaster of my previous scale for Dragon Ball GT with improved scaling and better formating.
For scaling I will be using Domination multipliers, which are the only somewhat usable system I found. In the daizenshu it was stated you needed 2x your opponent's chi to completely overwhelm them and take thier attacks unharmed and if a character is 1.25x their opponent they will start to overwhelm them, this is evident in the frieza fight. Goku had a power level of 150,000,000 and frieza had Power level of 120,000,000, the difference was of 1.25 times but Goku still somewhat overwhelmed him. Thou Frieza could have killed Goku if he hadn't fought carefully.
Another thing I will using X or times buu saga base Goku to show their power growth.
Here are the domination multipliers,
1.25x - A Little but noticeable gap in power.
2x - completely overwhelms the opponent and can tank their attack
It has been 15 years since the battle with kid buu and 5 years since the end of Z, Goku has been training with uub. Goku is supposedly stronger then his buu saga counterpart but due there being no real way to quantify that. Base GT Goku is 1 in this scale, with ssj Goku being 50x buu saga Goku and such and such for his transformations.
They are suddenly attacked the pilaf gang and Goku gets turns in a child by black star dragon balls, this starting the story. Apparently the balls were going destroy the planet if they are not gathered in a year, so Goku, pan and trunks go fucking space to get them.
Some fights happen here and there like the legic fight and the lord luud fight, with the latter being stronger then ssj Goku but these fights mean nothing until the rildo fight, also there has been an significant time skip since the start of the show. In rildo fight, there is the most important statements for scaling early GT. Goku States rildo is even stronger then buu, now there's quite a bit of confusion on which buu it is. I believe it to kid buu as he is last buu to face Goku, so I am gonna go with that.
Since Base Goku is evenly matched with rildo, they are both atleast 400x BSG. Goku eventually goes SSJ, which would make him 20,000x BSG. Rildo also powers up but isn't able to match Goku, so he transforms again to finally somewhat match Goku. He gives Goku a pretty hard time due to his hax, this leds to Goku getting captured but later escapes, baby is also revealed. Baby fights the z fighters and matches quite evenly with them after absorbing rildo (he can do that). This baby is atleast 400x BSG as he is comparable to base Goku. Baby eventually arrives on earth.
He first fights goten, who is able to fight evenly with him in base, so base goten is atleast 400x bsg. Goten eventually goes Ssj, which would make him 20,000x bsg. Baby somehow manages to control this goten and then proceeds to challenge Gohan, who is about the same as baby goten. He wins and takes control of Gohan. One thing about baby, he makes his hosts stronger but it's hard to quantify, so I am ignoring it completely. Baby Gohan challenges Vegeta and is even matched, making Vegeta also the same as baby Gohan. After a while baby wins and takes control of Vegeta's body.
Goku arrives on earth after some time, and fights off ssj goten and Gohan, in base easily. Making him atleast 2x as strong as them, so new base Goku is 40,000x bsg. Goku eventually goes up against baby Vegeta, who defeats him easily even in ssj3. Ssj3 Goku will be around 16,000,000x bsg and baby Vegeta is 32,000,000x bsg.
Baby transforms further into his super baby forms, his super baby 1 form is stated to be a ssj2 in the GT guidebook and it also that his normal state is a ssj, so it's twice the power of his normal state, making it 64,000,000x BSG and his super baby 2 is just ssj 3 according to the guide, therefore it's 4x stronger. Making it 256,000,000x BSG. Baby is 16x stronger the ssj3 Goku and his base form will be 640,000x bsg.
Just as Baby Vegeta is about to kill him, kabito Kai saves him and accidentally dropped him outside of space and time but it's ok, Goku kinda just blasted out of there. During this time uub tried to fight baby but is easily overwhelmed until he fuses with fat buu, which gives him an incredible boost in power. It makes him almost as strong as baby but not quite, so he's defeated. This puts him at 1.25x less then baby, making him 204,800,000x bsg.
After some tail pulling Goku returns on his new planet but his power is the same, so the result of the battle is the same. Goku accidently looks up to the earth and turns into a fucking monkey and scares the shit out of baby, he is also way stronger then baby. So oozaru Goku is 2x baby, making him 512,000,000x BSG. The oozaru is 32x ssj3 and 12,800x base multiplier.
Goku eventually morphs back in furry, become Ssj4. He destroys baby with it, baby also becomes a monkey and both are evenly matched. Now we apply the oozaru multiplier, which is 32x ssj3, we get 8,192,000,000x BSG. Goku is also that level with Ssj4, now to calculate ssj4's multiplier we divide his Ssj4 by his base power. After doing that we get 204,800x base or 512x ssj3.
Baby Vegeta and Goku knock eachother out, baby is healed by bulma using blitz waves and Goku gets healed by his friends, Goku also gains a new form called super full power Ssj4 (FpSsj4). Goku proceeds to tank multiple super galick gun and revenge death ball, the galick gun is reletive to the 10x kamehameha (normal kamehameha is a 2.2 boost) so, it's atleast a 22x boost and the death ball is stronger as he knows Goku can eat his galick guns, so it's atleast 2x that making it a 44x boost.
Goku tanks and absorbs the revenge death ball, making him twice it's power. This puts FpSsj4 Goku at 88x stronger then regular ssj4, that's 18,022,400x base or 45,056x ssj3, Ssj4 Goku himself is at 720,896,000,000x BSG. Goku after beating baby Vegeta kills baby's actual body. This ending the arc, wait till part 2 for super 17.
The form multipliers are:- Golden Ozaru:- 12,800x base or 32x ssj3
Ssj4:-204,800x base or 512x ssj3
FpSsj4:-18,022,400x base or 45,056x ssj3.
In conclusion,
Goku:-(rildo fight). Base:- 400x bsg, SSJ:- 20,000x bsg (baby arc) Base:- 40,000x bsg, SSJ3:- 16 million x BSG, Oozaru:- 512 million x BSG, SSJ4:- 8.192 billion x BSG and FpSsj4:- 720.8 billion x BSG.
Vegeta,Gohan and Goten:- (All) base:- 400x BSG, SSJ:- 20,000x bsg.
Baby Vegeta:- Base:- 640,000x bsg, Normal state or SSJ:- 32 million x bsg, Super Baby 1:- 64 million x BSG, Super Baby 2:- 256 million x BSG, Golden Oozaru:- 8.192 billion x BSG
Rildo:- base:- 400x BSG, metal form:- 20,000x bsg.
submitted by Alternative_Cook_102 to PowerScaling [link] [comments]
Cool Picture (don't click)
Hello everyone, this a remaster of my previous scale for Dragon Ball GT with improved scaling and better formating.
For scaling I will be using Domination multipliers, which are the only somewhat usable system I found. In the daizenshu it was stated you needed 2x your opponent's chi to completely overwhelm them and take thier attacks unharmed and if a character is 1.25x their opponent they will start to overwhelm them, this is evident in the frieza fight. Goku had a power level of 150,000,000 and frieza had Power level of 120,000,000, the difference was of 1.25 times but Goku still somewhat overwhelmed him. Thou Frieza could have killed Goku if he hadn't fought carefully.
Another thing I will using X or times buu saga base Goku to show their power growth.
Here are the domination multipliers,
1.25x - A Little but noticeable gap in power.
2x - completely overwhelms the opponent and can tank their attack
It has been 15 years since the battle with kid buu and 5 years since the end of Z, Goku has been training with uub. Goku is supposedly stronger then his buu saga counterpart but due there being no real way to quantify that. Base GT Goku is 1 in this scale, with ssj Goku being 50x buu saga Goku and such and such for his transformations.
They are suddenly attacked the pilaf gang and Goku gets turns in a child by black star dragon balls, this starting the story. Apparently the balls were going destroy the planet if they are not gathered in a year, so Goku, pan and trunks go fucking space to get them.
Some fights happen here and there like the legic fight and the lord luud fight, with the latter being stronger then ssj Goku but these fights mean nothing until the rildo fight, also there has been an significant time skip since the start of the show. In rildo fight, there is the most important statements for scaling early GT. Goku States rildo is even stronger then buu, now there's quite a bit of confusion on which buu it is. I believe it to kid buu as he is last buu to face Goku, so I am gonna go with that.
Since Base Goku is evenly matched with rildo, they are both atleast 400x BSG. Goku eventually goes SSJ, which would make him 20,000x BSG. Rildo also powers up but isn't able to match Goku, so he transforms again to finally somewhat match Goku. He gives Goku a pretty hard time due to his hax, this leds to Goku getting captured but later escapes, baby is also revealed. Baby fights the z fighters and matches quite evenly with them after absorbing rildo (he can do that). This baby is atleast 400x BSG as he is comparable to base Goku. Baby eventually arrives on earth.
He first fights goten, who is able to fight evenly with him in base, so base goten is atleast 400x bsg. Goten eventually goes Ssj, which would make him 20,000x bsg. Baby somehow manages to control this goten and then proceeds to challenge Gohan, who is about the same as baby goten. He wins and takes control of Gohan. One thing about baby, he makes his hosts stronger but it's hard to quantify, so I am ignoring it completely. Baby Gohan challenges Vegeta and is even matched, making Vegeta also the same as baby Gohan. After a while baby wins and takes control of Vegeta's body.
Goku arrives on earth after some time, and fights off ssj goten and Gohan, in base easily. Making him atleast 2x as strong as them, so new base Goku is 40,000x bsg. Goku eventually goes up against baby Vegeta, who defeats him easily even in ssj3. Ssj3 Goku will be around 16,000,000x bsg and baby Vegeta is 32,000,000x bsg.
Baby transforms further into his super baby forms, his super baby 1 form is stated to be a ssj2 in the GT guidebook and it also that his normal state is a ssj, so it's twice the power of his normal state, making it 64,000,000x BSG and his super baby 2 is just ssj 3 according to the guide, therefore it's 4x stronger. Making it 256,000,000x BSG. Baby is 16x stronger the ssj3 Goku and his base form will be 640,000x bsg.
Just as Baby Vegeta is about to kill him, kabito Kai saves him and accidentally dropped him outside of space and time but it's ok, Goku kinda just blasted out of there. During this time uub tried to fight baby but is easily overwhelmed until he fuses with fat buu, which gives him an incredible boost in power. It makes him almost as strong as baby but not quite, so he's defeated. This puts him at 1.25x less then baby, making him 204,800,000x bsg.
After some tail pulling Goku returns on his new planet but his power is the same, so the result of the battle is the same. Goku accidently looks up to the earth and turns into a fucking monkey and scares the shit out of baby, he is also way stronger then baby. So oozaru Goku is 2x baby, making him 512,000,000x BSG. The oozaru is 32x ssj3 and 12,800x base multiplier.
Goku eventually morphs back in furry, become Ssj4. He destroys baby with it, baby also becomes a monkey and both are evenly matched. Now we apply the oozaru multiplier, which is 32x ssj3, we get 8,192,000,000x BSG. Goku is also that level with Ssj4, now to calculate ssj4's multiplier we divide his Ssj4 by his base power. After doing that we get 204,800x base or 512x ssj3.
Baby Vegeta and Goku knock eachother out, baby is healed by bulma using blitz waves and Goku gets healed by his friends, Goku also gains a new form called super full power Ssj4 (FpSsj4). Goku proceeds to tank multiple super galick gun and revenge death ball, the galick gun is reletive to the 10x kamehameha (normal kamehameha is a 2.2 boost) so, it's atleast a 22x boost and the death ball is stronger as he knows Goku can eat his galick guns, so it's atleast 2x that making it a 44x boost.
Goku tanks and absorbs the revenge death ball, making him twice it's power. This puts FpSsj4 Goku at 88x stronger then regular ssj4, that's 18,022,400x base or 45,056x ssj3, Ssj4 Goku himself is at 720,896,000,000x BSG. Goku after beating baby Vegeta kills baby's actual body. This ending the arc, wait till part 2 for super 17.
The form multipliers are:- Golden Ozaru:- 12,800x base or 32x ssj3
Ssj4:-204,800x base or 512x ssj3
FpSsj4:-18,022,400x base or 45,056x ssj3.
In conclusion,
Goku:-(rildo fight). Base:- 400x bsg, SSJ:- 20,000x bsg (baby arc) Base:- 40,000x bsg, SSJ3:- 16 million x BSG, Oozaru:- 512 million x BSG, SSJ4:- 8.192 billion x BSG and FpSsj4:- 720.8 billion x BSG.
Vegeta,Gohan and Goten:- (All) base:- 400x BSG, SSJ:- 20,000x bsg.
Baby Vegeta:- Base:- 640,000x bsg, Normal state or SSJ:- 32 million x bsg, Super Baby 1:- 64 million x BSG, Super Baby 2:- 256 million x BSG, Golden Oozaru:- 8.192 billion x BSG
Rildo:- base:- 400x BSG, metal form:- 20,000x bsg.
2023.05.30 06:31 iamcoollife1994 meirl
 | submitted by iamcoollife1994 to meirl [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 06:31 Kylestien Dumb "Where are they now?" thing for Advance Wars 2.
People seemed to like the first one I did so I thought I'd do a second now I finally finished AW2. (That last mission is a bitch by the way.)
Andy: The strain of a second war had tired him. He had hoped that after the events of 1, all he'd need to do are practise drills. So when the war was finally over, he dedicated himself to improving Orange Star's early warning systems. If Black Hole rises again in another land, they'll know.
Max: Max decided that, with his extensive knowledge of tanks, he could probably improve the Neotank even if it was already technologicaly advanced. His idea of "add 300 more gun turrets to it" was however shot down by R and D, who said they'd be lucky to add 5.
Sami: Sami decided to do a recruitment drive for Orange Star after the events of the war. She figured the best way of doing that was to do more humanitarian work in the war torn nation. It did wonders to both fixing up the place as well as getting more people to join.
Nell: Having seen the devastation that Black Hole had caused not once, but twice, Nell decided that it would be better for an alliance between the four nations to become more official, on the offchance that they rise again under Hawke. While talks between the four leaders have not progressed past the naming stage yet, she is hopefull for progress. Her sister is still too young to join the army, but seeing Nell attempting to acheive the impossible has only inspired her further to do so.
Hatchi: Confident that he can leave Orange Star's fate in the hands of the youngen's now, he decided to keep enjoying his beach hut and business. Do not ask how he got Sturm as a hirable CO for outside the campaign. You do NOT want to know how he pulled that off. Also he might have to kill you.
Olaf: After seeing his hometown devastated in the war, Olaf was distraught. As part of the negotiations for Nell's upcoming allaince, he requested funds to repair his wartorn nation. They were granted, and Olaf also spent his own resources, even putting in hos own physical effort, to repairing the city and other places hit by the Black Hole army. The town square has been restored to it's former glory. Everyone agrees it's pretty nice.
Grit: Grit decided it would be a good idea to try and figure out if any of the resources Black Hole stole were left over, or if they were all spent. Turns out that Sturm had been keeping a horde of them in a secret base on the offchance he did in fact need to retreat and go for Round 3. Grit donated his find to the negotiations for an alliance
Colin: for his part in the war effort at such a young age, Colin was award the Medal of The Bear, one of Blue Moon's most highly venerated war medals. Not long after, he received a complaint from his men about the shoddieness of their equipment and being thrown into the meat grinder, and how it was bad for moralde. Colin listened ... kind of... and had a arcade room installed in every base. Morale has risen by 20%, but they still would have prefered guns that work.
Eagle: The saying "Great minds think alike" is an accurate one, as, much like Andy, Eagle decided to improve Green Earth's early warning systems AND their defenses, reasoning that since they got hit the hardest by Black Hole, they needed to be better prepared for next time. Every town now has it's own air base. In times of peace, they even put on air shows and fake dogfights.
Drake: Drake meanwhile did a complete overhual of Green Earth's navy, reasoning pretty much the same. He also put forwards the idea of a submersable repair drone for fixing ships up on the fly, but was told that was basicaly impossible, especialy for the already submersable submarines.
Jess: The war over and her homeland safe, Jess went back to her studies abroad. The head of the faclity was annoyed as all get out due to the fact that she had left without any warning, during the middle of a important class, and knocked over and destoryed a valuable teaching tool on the way out... but relented when told the situation. She is in great student debt for the broken tool, but is content.
Kanbei: Kanbei, while absolutely willing to form an allaince with the others, is possibly the main reason it is still in the planning stages, His request to call the alliance "Kanbei's United Army" being repeatedly declined. However, it's not all bad from him, as he is also adamdent on getting every soilder in this new united allaince the best equipment and training possible. The soilders love him for it, but both demands are slowing down talks.
Sonja: Sonja, realising the greatiest threat in their campaign was the genious scientist Lash, begain her oqn quest: to either hunt down and kill Lash, or recruit her for Gold Comet. Honestly, after her little taunts dug a bit too deep into her soul, she was not sure which. However, despite her best efforts, she did not succed in locating her. Apparently she hid herself much better then Sturm ever did.
Sensei: After a breif trip to some remote isle for a holiday, Senset thanks the old guard for taking part in the war, and asked Kanbei to increase their pensions dramaticaly for thier effort. Such was agreed. Now Sensei can afford a nice traditional house by the beach. AND hire a jazz band for events!
Flak: Annoyed at one too many failures from him in the campaign, Hawke demonted Flak back down to private again. However, while he may have been useless as a CO, his time as such made him too effective as a private, showing cunning and ruthlesses greater then compatriots. In the end, Hawke repromoted him, deciding that a weak but well treat CO was better then a competant and power hungry up and comer.
Lash: Lash decided to go aground, taking the effort of rebuilding by doing so from a hidden location with her Lashbots. She actualy loved the rebuiilding process more then the devastation it caused, a revelation that surprised her, even if she could not yet admit it to herself. Ironicaly, Sonja DID find her one time, but Lash, desperate and out of tricks, pretended to be one of her Lashbots in the vain hope she'd just go away. Somehow, against all odds, it fucking worked. Sonja will never know how close she came...
Adder: being terrified after the threats made to him by Sensei, Adder also decided to go to ground. Having built himself a hidden panic room in the middle of nowhere with some spare resources, he fled, waiting for the order from Hawke to rebuild. However, when he got to his panic room... someone had already been there, and left a gun with one bullet and a note: "It's a better option then ruining people's homes and meeting me again, sunny." Adder kept the gun, planning to shoot the old fucker with it if they DO meet again.
Sturm: Sturm is dead, but the fear of someone somehow reviving him once more, dcespite that seemingly being impossible, was so great that the allaince agreed to take his body (Or rather, the dirt where his body was before being vaporized) and scatter them across both lands. They hope this will be enough to make sure that Sturm never rises again.
Hawke: Hawkes whereabouts are unknown...
submitted by Kylestien to Advance_Wars [link] [comments]
Andy: The strain of a second war had tired him. He had hoped that after the events of 1, all he'd need to do are practise drills. So when the war was finally over, he dedicated himself to improving Orange Star's early warning systems. If Black Hole rises again in another land, they'll know.
Max: Max decided that, with his extensive knowledge of tanks, he could probably improve the Neotank even if it was already technologicaly advanced. His idea of "add 300 more gun turrets to it" was however shot down by R and D, who said they'd be lucky to add 5.
Sami: Sami decided to do a recruitment drive for Orange Star after the events of the war. She figured the best way of doing that was to do more humanitarian work in the war torn nation. It did wonders to both fixing up the place as well as getting more people to join.
Nell: Having seen the devastation that Black Hole had caused not once, but twice, Nell decided that it would be better for an alliance between the four nations to become more official, on the offchance that they rise again under Hawke. While talks between the four leaders have not progressed past the naming stage yet, she is hopefull for progress. Her sister is still too young to join the army, but seeing Nell attempting to acheive the impossible has only inspired her further to do so.
Hatchi: Confident that he can leave Orange Star's fate in the hands of the youngen's now, he decided to keep enjoying his beach hut and business. Do not ask how he got Sturm as a hirable CO for outside the campaign. You do NOT want to know how he pulled that off. Also he might have to kill you.
Olaf: After seeing his hometown devastated in the war, Olaf was distraught. As part of the negotiations for Nell's upcoming allaince, he requested funds to repair his wartorn nation. They were granted, and Olaf also spent his own resources, even putting in hos own physical effort, to repairing the city and other places hit by the Black Hole army. The town square has been restored to it's former glory. Everyone agrees it's pretty nice.
Grit: Grit decided it would be a good idea to try and figure out if any of the resources Black Hole stole were left over, or if they were all spent. Turns out that Sturm had been keeping a horde of them in a secret base on the offchance he did in fact need to retreat and go for Round 3. Grit donated his find to the negotiations for an alliance
Colin: for his part in the war effort at such a young age, Colin was award the Medal of The Bear, one of Blue Moon's most highly venerated war medals. Not long after, he received a complaint from his men about the shoddieness of their equipment and being thrown into the meat grinder, and how it was bad for moralde. Colin listened ... kind of... and had a arcade room installed in every base. Morale has risen by 20%, but they still would have prefered guns that work.
Eagle: The saying "Great minds think alike" is an accurate one, as, much like Andy, Eagle decided to improve Green Earth's early warning systems AND their defenses, reasoning that since they got hit the hardest by Black Hole, they needed to be better prepared for next time. Every town now has it's own air base. In times of peace, they even put on air shows and fake dogfights.
Drake: Drake meanwhile did a complete overhual of Green Earth's navy, reasoning pretty much the same. He also put forwards the idea of a submersable repair drone for fixing ships up on the fly, but was told that was basicaly impossible, especialy for the already submersable submarines.
Jess: The war over and her homeland safe, Jess went back to her studies abroad. The head of the faclity was annoyed as all get out due to the fact that she had left without any warning, during the middle of a important class, and knocked over and destoryed a valuable teaching tool on the way out... but relented when told the situation. She is in great student debt for the broken tool, but is content.
Kanbei: Kanbei, while absolutely willing to form an allaince with the others, is possibly the main reason it is still in the planning stages, His request to call the alliance "Kanbei's United Army" being repeatedly declined. However, it's not all bad from him, as he is also adamdent on getting every soilder in this new united allaince the best equipment and training possible. The soilders love him for it, but both demands are slowing down talks.
Sonja: Sonja, realising the greatiest threat in their campaign was the genious scientist Lash, begain her oqn quest: to either hunt down and kill Lash, or recruit her for Gold Comet. Honestly, after her little taunts dug a bit too deep into her soul, she was not sure which. However, despite her best efforts, she did not succed in locating her. Apparently she hid herself much better then Sturm ever did.
Sensei: After a breif trip to some remote isle for a holiday, Senset thanks the old guard for taking part in the war, and asked Kanbei to increase their pensions dramaticaly for thier effort. Such was agreed. Now Sensei can afford a nice traditional house by the beach. AND hire a jazz band for events!
Flak: Annoyed at one too many failures from him in the campaign, Hawke demonted Flak back down to private again. However, while he may have been useless as a CO, his time as such made him too effective as a private, showing cunning and ruthlesses greater then compatriots. In the end, Hawke repromoted him, deciding that a weak but well treat CO was better then a competant and power hungry up and comer.
Lash: Lash decided to go aground, taking the effort of rebuilding by doing so from a hidden location with her Lashbots. She actualy loved the rebuiilding process more then the devastation it caused, a revelation that surprised her, even if she could not yet admit it to herself. Ironicaly, Sonja DID find her one time, but Lash, desperate and out of tricks, pretended to be one of her Lashbots in the vain hope she'd just go away. Somehow, against all odds, it fucking worked. Sonja will never know how close she came...
Adder: being terrified after the threats made to him by Sensei, Adder also decided to go to ground. Having built himself a hidden panic room in the middle of nowhere with some spare resources, he fled, waiting for the order from Hawke to rebuild. However, when he got to his panic room... someone had already been there, and left a gun with one bullet and a note: "It's a better option then ruining people's homes and meeting me again, sunny." Adder kept the gun, planning to shoot the old fucker with it if they DO meet again.
Sturm: Sturm is dead, but the fear of someone somehow reviving him once more, dcespite that seemingly being impossible, was so great that the allaince agreed to take his body (Or rather, the dirt where his body was before being vaporized) and scatter them across both lands. They hope this will be enough to make sure that Sturm never rises again.
Hawke: Hawkes whereabouts are unknown...
2023.05.30 06:31 Lower-Beat-351 My first time
"the abyss of unending anxiety"
The trip:
I had only just recently started weed again as I had a traumatic experience with it years ago when I tried it the first time which pretty much scared me away from the substance for a very long time- I pretty much thought I was a tough guy and thought hell why not and took a fat 10 second rip off of my friends cart and proceeded to go running around in the woods at midnight- yeah genius I know.
Anyways enough about that I had been using marijuana for a solid two or three months now and I figured I had completely mastered the substance and was ready for the next level naturally shrooms were the next on the list for me and being the cautious person I am, I decided to do all of the research I could on shrooms in order to prepare myself for what was to come from them. little did I know nothing could have prepared me for what happened that night. I had finally finished my research which was composed of mostly trip reports by vivec and tales from the trip as well as some research online about the affects, the duration of the high, strains how much to take etc. When I decided it was time to begin preparing myself mentally for what was to come. my research had told me that mindset and where you are in life at the moment played a key role in how the trip was going to go, so I began listening to smooth Jazzy music and just generally making an effort to stay positive for a week leading up the time I had planned to take them, I was at a friend's house hanging out with 2 friends one being my best friend of 5 years Who I will call N and the other a friend of N's who I had only hung out with a couple times before. we were playing Halo, talking and passing around a bong packed with high quality Mary-Jane that I had brought when the subject of shrooms came up, I knew these two both had connections to people who would definitely have access to hard drugs. the dealers I knew only had access to marijuana so I asked them both "how much would i have to pay for 4 Grams of shrooms" to which our mutual friend replied it's about 10$ a gram for us man but being your not a regular it will likely be more" I asked them if they could buy them so I could get a discount to which the both agreed they would do. 3 days later after I had given them 40 bucks for the shrooms I came and picked them up and stared at them when I got home taking in every detail so I could match them up to what they said the strain was which was enigma or Omni shrooms which are an extremely potent and rare mutant of 3 very powerful strains of shrooms.
I had N come over to be my trip sitter as he had 2 prior experiences with shrooms before. Both of which he told me he never saw anything but he did tell me he laid down in the grass outside of his house and stared at the sky for 2 hours mind you he had done 5gs of the stuff and said it was the same strain I was getting I was surprised by this and asked our mutual friend about his experience on the stuff with a similar dosage he said that he had a blast but he too never had any hallucinations. I was a bit confused and let down by this as I had expected alot more from a said powerful mutant of 3 shrooms. The day I had planned to take the shrooms I had woken up and carried out my regular routine of making a coffee and I reminded myself that I only needed to eat breakfast and a small one at that to ensure the shrooms worked at peak potential. As I ate my breakfast and scrolled through my phone listening to peaceful jazz and scrolling through many many happy birthday wishes- see I had just turned 18 and I thought to myself "wow what a time for my first psychedelic experience" I played need for speed and awaited N's arrival I had planned on taking them around 6pm to get a good amount of day time and night time in my trip. When N finally arrived it was around 5:30pm "perfect I thought as I looked up from my Xbox and at the clock when I heard my dogs barking at the arrival of my friend he walked into my room we said our greetings and shortly after I went to get some honey as I had heard that the shrooms would taste horrible I also poured me a decently sized glass of tea and put it into a thermos as I thought to myself "gonna be 6 hours so I better be ready" I brought them both into my room and set them on my dresser as I pulled the shrooms from my drawer examining them as my mom walked in she asked me what they were- I told her they were the shrooms I had told her about doing as I tell her everything and had talked to her about it before I even purchased them. She said alright and wished me good luck. I looked at my friend with a wide grin on my face and said "here we go". I then dipped the brain resembling shrooms into the honey generously Dunking them to avoid the bad taste as I ate them chunk by chunk I realized they didn't even taste that bad almost like a honey comb but without the honey taste I even ate the last chunks with no honey at all N suggested we could play halo while I'm still functioning and he could switch to his call of duty when I began tripping and explained to me it's best to be in a very comfortable position when they begin kicking in. I gladly took him up on the offer.
The trip: everything was normal for the first 15 minutes until I started to feel like something was off it wasn't uncomfortable but I began feeling of warmness and almost a low level weed high I told N about this. He said that it wasn't normal for anything to start happening this early as it normally takes 30 minutes to an hour for them to kick in. I wasn't swayed by this and I continued gaming. 30 minutes in- this is when they really started to kick in I was still playing the game when I began feeling this out of place and uncomfortable tightness in my chest and left arm I thought this was odd but I decided not to let it affect me. Then I looked down at the carpet in my room and noticed my first visuals the carpet was beginning to move and wiggle about resembling that of waves of water I thought this was amazing so I continued staring when I noticed my friend staring at me with a slight smile on his face "you good?" He said with a Chuckle to which I replied to him "the carpet is moving bro" we both laughed and continued playing the game. The tightness in my chest was becoming more powerful but I was still resisting the urge to acknowledge it because I wanted this to be a good experience. I looked at the carpet again and noticed it was now making patterns folding in on itself and it never stopped moving. Every once in a while a streak of purple would run through the carpet which to me was extremely beautiful I told N that I wish he could see the carpet as I see it he told me that it was likely time to begin his game and let me lay down I agreed and began to lay down as he set up his playstation to my TV this is when the most strange thing happened I looked at my dog Lucy and she was beginning to wave like the ocean her fur flowed like water but she appeared to be completely still and normal I got this overwhelming feeling of love and happiness from Lucy so I began hugging her and telling her that I loved her my dog didn't move and I imagine my friend was thinking "oh he's tripping now" I had the urge to urinate so I got up and walked towards the door of my room N stopped me asked me where I was going and if I was ok I told him "No I'm fine I just need to use the restroom" as I stood up the affects really began kicking in I felt an intense wave of euphoria go through my body I began laughing for no reason and Headed towards the bathroom when I got there I looked at myself and the mirror and noticed my pupils were so wide that I had lost all of the green color in my eye instead it was replaced with the black pupil I thought this was hilarious for some reason, as I stared I slowly began looking like a cartoon with massive eyes as I laughed and looked at myself in the mirror once I was done I went to go urinate when I began the toilet suddenly began to get further and further away and began distorting in an odd and wavy kind of way I remember this vividly and told N about it the next day. As I left the bathroom back into my room I saw N playing call of duty I sat down. Which now I realize was a bad choice as I should have laid back down and surrendered to the intense euphoria going through me it was around and hour into the trip now. I looked away from the screen that my friend was playing and back down to the beautiful carpet it was making patterns just like before but far more intense and the movement was more angular I got lost staring at the carpet and the patterns began becoming more and more obvious as I stared I began being completely mesmerized by the patterns in the carpet till the point they became all encompassing. after almost 10 whole minutes staring into the carpet I finally looked back up at my friend his face began distorting and moving I recognized who he was but he looked different now the tightness in my chest was back and it was becoming overwhelming i decided not to move back to my bed and delt with the tightness I watched my Friend play his game and I noticed that every time that a tree or any form of pattern showed up in the game it began folding in on itself and fractalizing I didn't pay much attention to it until the soldiers in the game began loading up into a military transport vehicle I remember the camo on the truck was moving by moving I mean the individual splotches of color were sliding across up and down the truck this was odd as I would have expected it to fractalize like every other pattern. I decided that smoking a bowl with my friend would perhaps mellow out the trip we passed the bong a couple times, This is when the tightness in my chest became too much and I told my friend I was going to lay down and take a nap to which he replied "ok" as I laid in my bed covered in comforters and too many pillows to count the tightness began manifesting as deep and painful anxiety I couldn't get comfortable so I decided fuck this I'm gonna sleep anyway the dreams will be better than this. I've never been more wrong in my life. In this part of the trip approximately 2 and a half hours in I can't be positive whether I was asleep or if I had entered a state of paralysis and vivid closed eye hallucinations I was still listening to the jazz and it too became part of the painful anxiety I was experiencing I angrily threw my headphones never opening my eyes saying this shit doesn't work over and over again, this shit doesn't work, this shit doesn't work, this is when everything became quiet and I entered what I will call the abyss of unending anxiety. I wouldn't say I forgot who I was like the ego death I had heard so much about but I definitely stopped caring who I was I tried reminding myself saying my name over and over again my friend told me that he was actively trying to comfort me in this stage but to no avail. In this abyss, I stayed for what felt like years I felt as if I was but a grain of sand and a heaping monstrosity of anxiety as large as reality itself was crushing me from all directions. A feeling I will never forget. I was in mental anguish and felt I was going to be stuck there for eternity I also had this odd feeling that I was being watched and that this was all for a reason. However I began to miss my girlfriend and my mom my friend told me after I was sober that I kept repeating I love my girlfriend and talking about missing my mom. I stayed there, insignificant, in pain and hopeless. Until I woke up mid sentence with my friend talking about my girlfriend "she's definitely better than your other choices" he said. Slowly coming back to reality I replied "yeah.. she really is, I hope to marry her you know?" A hint of positivity began coming back. I was extremely happy about this and decided to take my chance now that I was not not being pinned by crushing anxiety you might think I am being dramatic but I was litterally immobilized by This dread. I got up and walked to my mom's room hugged her and told her that she was my reason for existence I stayed there not understanding what she was saying to me hugging her feeling an amazing wave of love and positivity pulsing through me I was alive happy and loved once I was sure I was going to be ok I walked back to my room where my friend met me shortly after he said he was looking for me worried, I then told him all was fine now and I had it figured out I sat down yet again and I began repeating "life is rough and existence is rough" I remember trying very hard to make some inspirational speech out of this but my brain was racing to fast to do this my friend turned on some of his own jazz music and I sat there listening to the beautiful music it was true bliss I loved it I told him that he was a great guy and that he was my best friend he thanked me and changed the song my sister came in and began listening with us a family friend of ours also came in and began staring at me asking what it felt like I told her there was no real way to describe it she asked me if she looked funny and what it looked like I noticed she didn't look like she normally did almost a completely different person if not for her voice I wouldn't have recognized her at all. this is when I left to go use the restroom again and the same events that happened before in the bathroom completely repeated themselves almost perfectly I stared in the mirror and laughed the toilet got further and further away. "I'm tripping balls" I thought as I left the bathroom drank some water and returned to my room where my friend and my sister were talking about me tripping and his experience as my sister had never done it and was curious it's worth saying that I only know this is what they're subject was because they told me when I was sober. at the time I couldn't understand what they were saying and it sounded like a totally different language I remember the tightness was gone but there was still some left over anxiety and laying back down in my bed triggered it again though not as intense as last time it was still horrible and painful I held my pillows tightly and tried to comfort myself by humming and sometimes mumbling the lyrics to the music my friend was listening to. Approximately 4 hours into the trip I began coming down and I was slowly getting familiar feelings of the life I lived before all of this. this felt amazing as some familiarity felt told me it would all be over soon my friend asked me if I was ok and I told him "Yes I think so" this is when my sister suggested we all play Minecraft together. My Friend declined however as it was getting late and he was ready to be home. I told him goodbye and thanked him for watching me. this is when my sister set up Minecraft, I played for 10 minutes or so then I dropped the controller completely back to reality aside from some light visuals and stared at the ceiling trying to comprehend what I had just went through. for the last 2 hours of the trip I was in awe of what I had been through and walked around my house with a blanket draped over me walking around like a zombie humming too myself and thinking about what had happened in this stage I felt nothing. Nothing good, and nothing bad, just nothing. When I woke up the next morning I pondered over what happened this is when I realized what the shrooms had truly done, when I was in the abyss I had this odd feeling that I was being watched and that this was all for a reason. I thought this was odd at the time but I now realize that it was god watching over me he was watching me in pain and anguish but this wasn't a bad thing this had to happen, this is when it finally clicked in my head, God was using the mushrooms to purge the anxiety out of my life and heal me from this experience and I can't be More grateful.
Over all the good parts of the trip were very fun and even tho the abyss far overdid the good parts I still believe it was for the best and I learned a lesson, and left it better person Its been only 2 days since the trip and I feel a massive weight has been lifted off of my shoulders I know this is the absence of the anxiety which has been purged from my life. I will definitely do shrooms again but next time I will have more respect for them, and treat them as the spiritual medicine they are. To all who plan to do shrooms make sure you go in with the intention to heal yourself this is not just some drug to have fun with it is much more than that it is a tool used by God to heal us in ways regular medicine cannot and that is not to be taken lightly.
submitted by Lower-Beat-351 to shrooms [link] [comments]
The trip:
I had only just recently started weed again as I had a traumatic experience with it years ago when I tried it the first time which pretty much scared me away from the substance for a very long time- I pretty much thought I was a tough guy and thought hell why not and took a fat 10 second rip off of my friends cart and proceeded to go running around in the woods at midnight- yeah genius I know.
Anyways enough about that I had been using marijuana for a solid two or three months now and I figured I had completely mastered the substance and was ready for the next level naturally shrooms were the next on the list for me and being the cautious person I am, I decided to do all of the research I could on shrooms in order to prepare myself for what was to come from them. little did I know nothing could have prepared me for what happened that night. I had finally finished my research which was composed of mostly trip reports by vivec and tales from the trip as well as some research online about the affects, the duration of the high, strains how much to take etc. When I decided it was time to begin preparing myself mentally for what was to come. my research had told me that mindset and where you are in life at the moment played a key role in how the trip was going to go, so I began listening to smooth Jazzy music and just generally making an effort to stay positive for a week leading up the time I had planned to take them, I was at a friend's house hanging out with 2 friends one being my best friend of 5 years Who I will call N and the other a friend of N's who I had only hung out with a couple times before. we were playing Halo, talking and passing around a bong packed with high quality Mary-Jane that I had brought when the subject of shrooms came up, I knew these two both had connections to people who would definitely have access to hard drugs. the dealers I knew only had access to marijuana so I asked them both "how much would i have to pay for 4 Grams of shrooms" to which our mutual friend replied it's about 10$ a gram for us man but being your not a regular it will likely be more" I asked them if they could buy them so I could get a discount to which the both agreed they would do. 3 days later after I had given them 40 bucks for the shrooms I came and picked them up and stared at them when I got home taking in every detail so I could match them up to what they said the strain was which was enigma or Omni shrooms which are an extremely potent and rare mutant of 3 very powerful strains of shrooms.
I had N come over to be my trip sitter as he had 2 prior experiences with shrooms before. Both of which he told me he never saw anything but he did tell me he laid down in the grass outside of his house and stared at the sky for 2 hours mind you he had done 5gs of the stuff and said it was the same strain I was getting I was surprised by this and asked our mutual friend about his experience on the stuff with a similar dosage he said that he had a blast but he too never had any hallucinations. I was a bit confused and let down by this as I had expected alot more from a said powerful mutant of 3 shrooms. The day I had planned to take the shrooms I had woken up and carried out my regular routine of making a coffee and I reminded myself that I only needed to eat breakfast and a small one at that to ensure the shrooms worked at peak potential. As I ate my breakfast and scrolled through my phone listening to peaceful jazz and scrolling through many many happy birthday wishes- see I had just turned 18 and I thought to myself "wow what a time for my first psychedelic experience" I played need for speed and awaited N's arrival I had planned on taking them around 6pm to get a good amount of day time and night time in my trip. When N finally arrived it was around 5:30pm "perfect I thought as I looked up from my Xbox and at the clock when I heard my dogs barking at the arrival of my friend he walked into my room we said our greetings and shortly after I went to get some honey as I had heard that the shrooms would taste horrible I also poured me a decently sized glass of tea and put it into a thermos as I thought to myself "gonna be 6 hours so I better be ready" I brought them both into my room and set them on my dresser as I pulled the shrooms from my drawer examining them as my mom walked in she asked me what they were- I told her they were the shrooms I had told her about doing as I tell her everything and had talked to her about it before I even purchased them. She said alright and wished me good luck. I looked at my friend with a wide grin on my face and said "here we go". I then dipped the brain resembling shrooms into the honey generously Dunking them to avoid the bad taste as I ate them chunk by chunk I realized they didn't even taste that bad almost like a honey comb but without the honey taste I even ate the last chunks with no honey at all N suggested we could play halo while I'm still functioning and he could switch to his call of duty when I began tripping and explained to me it's best to be in a very comfortable position when they begin kicking in. I gladly took him up on the offer.
The trip: everything was normal for the first 15 minutes until I started to feel like something was off it wasn't uncomfortable but I began feeling of warmness and almost a low level weed high I told N about this. He said that it wasn't normal for anything to start happening this early as it normally takes 30 minutes to an hour for them to kick in. I wasn't swayed by this and I continued gaming. 30 minutes in- this is when they really started to kick in I was still playing the game when I began feeling this out of place and uncomfortable tightness in my chest and left arm I thought this was odd but I decided not to let it affect me. Then I looked down at the carpet in my room and noticed my first visuals the carpet was beginning to move and wiggle about resembling that of waves of water I thought this was amazing so I continued staring when I noticed my friend staring at me with a slight smile on his face "you good?" He said with a Chuckle to which I replied to him "the carpet is moving bro" we both laughed and continued playing the game. The tightness in my chest was becoming more powerful but I was still resisting the urge to acknowledge it because I wanted this to be a good experience. I looked at the carpet again and noticed it was now making patterns folding in on itself and it never stopped moving. Every once in a while a streak of purple would run through the carpet which to me was extremely beautiful I told N that I wish he could see the carpet as I see it he told me that it was likely time to begin his game and let me lay down I agreed and began to lay down as he set up his playstation to my TV this is when the most strange thing happened I looked at my dog Lucy and she was beginning to wave like the ocean her fur flowed like water but she appeared to be completely still and normal I got this overwhelming feeling of love and happiness from Lucy so I began hugging her and telling her that I loved her my dog didn't move and I imagine my friend was thinking "oh he's tripping now" I had the urge to urinate so I got up and walked towards the door of my room N stopped me asked me where I was going and if I was ok I told him "No I'm fine I just need to use the restroom" as I stood up the affects really began kicking in I felt an intense wave of euphoria go through my body I began laughing for no reason and Headed towards the bathroom when I got there I looked at myself and the mirror and noticed my pupils were so wide that I had lost all of the green color in my eye instead it was replaced with the black pupil I thought this was hilarious for some reason, as I stared I slowly began looking like a cartoon with massive eyes as I laughed and looked at myself in the mirror once I was done I went to go urinate when I began the toilet suddenly began to get further and further away and began distorting in an odd and wavy kind of way I remember this vividly and told N about it the next day. As I left the bathroom back into my room I saw N playing call of duty I sat down. Which now I realize was a bad choice as I should have laid back down and surrendered to the intense euphoria going through me it was around and hour into the trip now. I looked away from the screen that my friend was playing and back down to the beautiful carpet it was making patterns just like before but far more intense and the movement was more angular I got lost staring at the carpet and the patterns began becoming more and more obvious as I stared I began being completely mesmerized by the patterns in the carpet till the point they became all encompassing. after almost 10 whole minutes staring into the carpet I finally looked back up at my friend his face began distorting and moving I recognized who he was but he looked different now the tightness in my chest was back and it was becoming overwhelming i decided not to move back to my bed and delt with the tightness I watched my Friend play his game and I noticed that every time that a tree or any form of pattern showed up in the game it began folding in on itself and fractalizing I didn't pay much attention to it until the soldiers in the game began loading up into a military transport vehicle I remember the camo on the truck was moving by moving I mean the individual splotches of color were sliding across up and down the truck this was odd as I would have expected it to fractalize like every other pattern. I decided that smoking a bowl with my friend would perhaps mellow out the trip we passed the bong a couple times, This is when the tightness in my chest became too much and I told my friend I was going to lay down and take a nap to which he replied "ok" as I laid in my bed covered in comforters and too many pillows to count the tightness began manifesting as deep and painful anxiety I couldn't get comfortable so I decided fuck this I'm gonna sleep anyway the dreams will be better than this. I've never been more wrong in my life. In this part of the trip approximately 2 and a half hours in I can't be positive whether I was asleep or if I had entered a state of paralysis and vivid closed eye hallucinations I was still listening to the jazz and it too became part of the painful anxiety I was experiencing I angrily threw my headphones never opening my eyes saying this shit doesn't work over and over again, this shit doesn't work, this shit doesn't work, this is when everything became quiet and I entered what I will call the abyss of unending anxiety. I wouldn't say I forgot who I was like the ego death I had heard so much about but I definitely stopped caring who I was I tried reminding myself saying my name over and over again my friend told me that he was actively trying to comfort me in this stage but to no avail. In this abyss, I stayed for what felt like years I felt as if I was but a grain of sand and a heaping monstrosity of anxiety as large as reality itself was crushing me from all directions. A feeling I will never forget. I was in mental anguish and felt I was going to be stuck there for eternity I also had this odd feeling that I was being watched and that this was all for a reason. However I began to miss my girlfriend and my mom my friend told me after I was sober that I kept repeating I love my girlfriend and talking about missing my mom. I stayed there, insignificant, in pain and hopeless. Until I woke up mid sentence with my friend talking about my girlfriend "she's definitely better than your other choices" he said. Slowly coming back to reality I replied "yeah.. she really is, I hope to marry her you know?" A hint of positivity began coming back. I was extremely happy about this and decided to take my chance now that I was not not being pinned by crushing anxiety you might think I am being dramatic but I was litterally immobilized by This dread. I got up and walked to my mom's room hugged her and told her that she was my reason for existence I stayed there not understanding what she was saying to me hugging her feeling an amazing wave of love and positivity pulsing through me I was alive happy and loved once I was sure I was going to be ok I walked back to my room where my friend met me shortly after he said he was looking for me worried, I then told him all was fine now and I had it figured out I sat down yet again and I began repeating "life is rough and existence is rough" I remember trying very hard to make some inspirational speech out of this but my brain was racing to fast to do this my friend turned on some of his own jazz music and I sat there listening to the beautiful music it was true bliss I loved it I told him that he was a great guy and that he was my best friend he thanked me and changed the song my sister came in and began listening with us a family friend of ours also came in and began staring at me asking what it felt like I told her there was no real way to describe it she asked me if she looked funny and what it looked like I noticed she didn't look like she normally did almost a completely different person if not for her voice I wouldn't have recognized her at all. this is when I left to go use the restroom again and the same events that happened before in the bathroom completely repeated themselves almost perfectly I stared in the mirror and laughed the toilet got further and further away. "I'm tripping balls" I thought as I left the bathroom drank some water and returned to my room where my friend and my sister were talking about me tripping and his experience as my sister had never done it and was curious it's worth saying that I only know this is what they're subject was because they told me when I was sober. at the time I couldn't understand what they were saying and it sounded like a totally different language I remember the tightness was gone but there was still some left over anxiety and laying back down in my bed triggered it again though not as intense as last time it was still horrible and painful I held my pillows tightly and tried to comfort myself by humming and sometimes mumbling the lyrics to the music my friend was listening to. Approximately 4 hours into the trip I began coming down and I was slowly getting familiar feelings of the life I lived before all of this. this felt amazing as some familiarity felt told me it would all be over soon my friend asked me if I was ok and I told him "Yes I think so" this is when my sister suggested we all play Minecraft together. My Friend declined however as it was getting late and he was ready to be home. I told him goodbye and thanked him for watching me. this is when my sister set up Minecraft, I played for 10 minutes or so then I dropped the controller completely back to reality aside from some light visuals and stared at the ceiling trying to comprehend what I had just went through. for the last 2 hours of the trip I was in awe of what I had been through and walked around my house with a blanket draped over me walking around like a zombie humming too myself and thinking about what had happened in this stage I felt nothing. Nothing good, and nothing bad, just nothing. When I woke up the next morning I pondered over what happened this is when I realized what the shrooms had truly done, when I was in the abyss I had this odd feeling that I was being watched and that this was all for a reason. I thought this was odd at the time but I now realize that it was god watching over me he was watching me in pain and anguish but this wasn't a bad thing this had to happen, this is when it finally clicked in my head, God was using the mushrooms to purge the anxiety out of my life and heal me from this experience and I can't be More grateful.
Over all the good parts of the trip were very fun and even tho the abyss far overdid the good parts I still believe it was for the best and I learned a lesson, and left it better person Its been only 2 days since the trip and I feel a massive weight has been lifted off of my shoulders I know this is the absence of the anxiety which has been purged from my life. I will definitely do shrooms again but next time I will have more respect for them, and treat them as the spiritual medicine they are. To all who plan to do shrooms make sure you go in with the intention to heal yourself this is not just some drug to have fun with it is much more than that it is a tool used by God to heal us in ways regular medicine cannot and that is not to be taken lightly.
2023.05.30 06:30 farmer_giles91 12 Days Honeymoon in Tokyo & Kawaguchiko with tips and observations
I just had my honeymoon (originally scheduled for Jun 2020). My wife and I are in our early thirties. It’s my wife’s first time in japan while it’s my fourth. I’ve benefitted immensely from stalking Tokyo travel reddit and would like to return the favour. I’ll provide some of my tips and observations to the end (skip to the end if the itinerary doesn’t interest you), some of which I think haven’t been mentioned before.
Thank God pretty much everything went to plan, and my wife thoroughly enjoyed the trip. We spent 12 days in Japan, most of it in Tokyo and 2 nights in Kawaguchiko. Many people were surprised to know that we’d be spending most of our trip in Tokyo, but I thought it was just fine because Tokyo had a lot to offer. My wife and I aren’t big on visiting shrines or tick tourist hotspots off a checklist. We don’t shop much, but we did a lot of it simply because it’s Japan and we bought lots of quality-of-life items (not fashion) for ourselves and others. Given how much my wife really enjoyed the trip, I think others with similar interests could find something helpful too.
Pre-trip planning
Day 1 (Thurs) - Shinjuku exploration- Originally planned to visit Tsukiji on day 1, but given that we arrive late the previous night, agreed with my wife to change the plan and spend the first day doing the Shinjuku itinerary.
Planning for Fuji Q & Morning Jog: I didn’t plan to go to Fuji-Q highlands before the trip. Always felt it a bit of a waste to visit amusement parks overseas. That’s until I realised that Fuji Q had some of the most exciting, (I mean world-record-holding) rollercoasters in the world. Perhaps not anymore, but that intrigued me enough, because most amusement parks only had 1-2 coasters. Problem was that wife is terrified, and she said cycling on the streets of Kawaguchiko was like a coaster ride for her. So I decided I would reach at opening time, and buy time by paying for the fast passes and try their top three coasters. The night before, we felt that we had to make decisions on our itinerary as it was our last day at Kawaguchiko. If Mt Fuji wasn’t visible, go to Oshino Hakkai, if it was, we could try going to Shimoyoshida to get a nice picture.
Woke up before sunrise for a run and to attempt to catch a sunrise picture of Mount Fuji. Streets were completely empty. Even ran to the famous Kawaguchiko Lawson for a picture. Headed back for an onsen bathe (note: we never used the hotel bathroom, and always went for an onsen bath throughout our stay in Kawaguchiko). Took a 7am bus to return to Shinjuku.
It was a crazy day where we simply hit the places we wanted to revisit regardless of proximity. Headed to Tokyo Skytree in the morning to check out another Ghibli store. If you’re not going to the Ghibli museum, this is probably the best store available. Headed to Shinjuku to try curry udon, then to Kichijoji to try satou beef balls and to make some purchasing decisions on some sports equipment. Then we ended up at Shibuya (my favourite place!) to the mega Don Quijote and Tokyu Hands to shop for gifts for others. It was a lovely end to our trip!
Day 12 (Mon) - Back home
Best trip ever, says my wife.
Tips for travellers
submitted by farmer_giles91 to JapanTravel [link] [comments]
Thank God pretty much everything went to plan, and my wife thoroughly enjoyed the trip. We spent 12 days in Japan, most of it in Tokyo and 2 nights in Kawaguchiko. Many people were surprised to know that we’d be spending most of our trip in Tokyo, but I thought it was just fine because Tokyo had a lot to offer. My wife and I aren’t big on visiting shrines or tick tourist hotspots off a checklist. We don’t shop much, but we did a lot of it simply because it’s Japan and we bought lots of quality-of-life items (not fashion) for ourselves and others. Given how much my wife really enjoyed the trip, I think others with similar interests could find something helpful too.
Pre-trip planning
- Other than the hotel & flights, I booked the highway express bus to Kawaguchiko one week prior.
- Decided on the airport limousine bus to bring us from the airport to the city a few days prior.
- Studio Ghibli tickets booked one month in advance. International tickets were quickly sold out, so we used a free VPN to get onto the Japanese site which had more tickets & timings available. Simply Google translate the entire page.
- Booked a cooking class on cookly months prior.
- Did Visit Japan QR two days prior. It takes some time so do it earlier rather than later.
- Added all places of interests in a Google list, and all food places in another Google list. I tried the custom Google maps at first but didn’t feel the UI was easy to navigate.
- Planned itinerary based on location proximity, and also highlighted parts that were interchangeable in case we wanted to switch it up (which we did).
- The Google maps foods list was always just for consideration: if we had time or were craving something. We didn't hard-code food places into our daily plans. But when food was the primary activity (e.g. visiting Tsukiji market), we'd determine to visit particular food stalls. Otherwise, just needed to do a cursory Google review check on whether a random food place is worth eating it. As a principle, we didn't want to spend time unnecessarily queuing for food.
- I'd plan the next day's itinerary the night before, considering fatigue, interest, and proximity. I would create a brand new Google maps list for the next day, including potential food places.
Day 1 (Thurs) - Shinjuku exploration- Originally planned to visit Tsukiji on day 1, but given that we arrive late the previous night, agreed with my wife to change the plan and spend the first day doing the Shinjuku itinerary.
- Walked to a popular Tsukumen place at 11. Queued for 20mins and it was an interesting experience as there were lines of people standing right behind watching you eat. Wife said it was her best Tsukumen ever!
- Sekaido for art supplies: My wife does art so it was a haven for her. We spent a few hours there!
- Tokyu Hands Shinjuku: but two floors were under renovation.
- Omoide Yokocho: A quick walkthrough. Many tourists.
- Kappabashi Dougu Street: looked at kitchen supplies and to find a nice knife! (Do research on what knife you need beforehand).
- Fabric Town: My wife just passed a seamstress exam so she eagerly anticipated visiting fabric town, we spent a few hours in Tomato.
- Akihabara (Animate, Bic Camera, Gyukatsu Don): It was drizzling the entire day so it was not the most comfortable lugging that many bags around a wet Akihabara in the evening. Wife wasn’t interested but I wanted to let her experience this unique culture. Had dinner at a popular gyukatsu don (beef cutlet that you’d have to cook yourself). It was fantastic and I had never eaten it. But it was a long one hour wait.
- Private cooking class in Shinjuku: Our host was great! We were invited into his cosy house and he taught us how to make Okonomiyaki, Yakisoba, and a Japanese salad. My wife absolutely loved the experience of getting to know a local and understanding his life story, Japanese culture, and some of his horror stories of guests. We got more food recs from him to understand where the locals really ate at.
- Shibuya 109: Paid $5 for a drink to have a bird’s eye view of the Shibuya crossing. It was Saturday so the people crossing was at its full force. Even if you think this is touristy, it’s amazing to see that many people like little ants crossing a street. There are several nice locations here to take some artsy shots.
- Ishibashi Music Shibuya: absolutely loved the vibe in this music store. Back home, I’ve been thinking about getting a particular keyboard but never got a chance to try it. I was able to play this particular one undisturbed and feel totally comfortable. Bought a few Japan exclusive guitar picks as gifts.
- Shibuya Tokyu Hands: This was amazing. I thought Shinjuku Tokyu Hands was the flagship store. So I only stumbled into this because I urgently needed to pee and someone said Tokyu hands had toilets. We were confused as its name was rebranded to simple Hands with a new logo. This is the Tokyu Hands to go. Each floor had 2 sub-floors so that’s a ton of floors! Lots of quality-of-life improvements one could get from this store. My wife got a buckwheat pillow.
- Shibuya Loft: After Sekaido, I didn’t think there was much to look at. But Loft was very different. Similar to Tokyu hands but seems more modern and fashionable. Worth visiting together with Tokyu hands! It also had packaged food available! It was late and my wife and I concluded that we didn’t have to to explore all the floors and that we’d return to Shibuya again.
- Church in Komazawa: not a tourist activity, but we linked up with some partners from our home church and attended service at a little church held in a nursery. It was an amazing and encouraging experience.
- Harajuku: Way too crowded. I had anticipated this as it was a Sunday, but thought to just try. Takeshita street was so packed my wife feared there would be a trample risk (it wasn’t that bad). We did queue 20mins for pretty tasty crepe. After checking out all the recommended streets (e.g. cat street, uru-harajuku), my wife simply felt that she couldn’t stand the Harajuku crowd and the vibes. So we decided to go back to Shibuya again!
- Shibuya JINS: I didn’t mention this but previously in Shinjuku and Shibuya, I had been checking out recommended optical shops in the vicinity. I had something in particular in mind. Japanese-made glasses are highly-rated, but I couldn’t find something at the right price-point. At JINS, I found a design I liked. Though not made in Japan, it cost me less than 5000 yen. Took them 1 hour to make it. For some reason I loved the vibes at Shibuya, and I earmarked it to return again later.
- Tsukiji market: wanted to arrive before 8 and was 30m late. But the crowds weren’t that bad either. Everything we tried was lovely. Potato/corn fishcakes, strawberry mochi, tamago, wagyu beef, uni inarisushi, unagi. But the star was Masa burger, which we waited till 11am to try. By then, the tourist buses had come and the streets were packed. But Masa burger was in a corner and we were their first customers. The fried codfish burger + homemade ginger ale was so well done and packed with such fresh and interesting salads! It so so good we had it twice.
- Ginza Uniqlo/Muji: we wanted to take a look at some of Uniqlo’s exclusive items. Apparently they do have exclusive t-shirts for each region (e.g. Harajuku, Shibuya, Ginza). They tend to be collaborations with well-known food places in the area. However, they were always white in colour and not made-in-japan-quality. Muji was a disappointment, not a lot more than the usual.
- Tokyo Station Ghibli & Tenugui: Went to Tokyo station to check out the Ghibli store and to look for a particular traditional tenugui (Japanese towels) store as my wife were hunting these down to give as gifts.
- Shinjuku Ichiran & Mister Donut: We returned to Shinjuku for Ichiran ramen, specifically at 5+pm. No crowds at all. Yummy! We then saw a Mister Donut, and recalled news in our home country that when it first opened, people queued 5 hours for it. We thought to try it to see what the fuss was all about. Cash only, but the donuts were wonderfully textured and not too sweet. My wife doesn’t like sweet stuff, but mister donut really hit the sweet spot (no pun intended).
- Tokyo Tokyo National Museum: We had a good time learning about Japan’s early history, and discovered that so much that we know of Japan resulted from Chinese/korean influence.
- Fabric town & Akihabara revisit, Ochonomizu: We decided that this was likely the right time to go back for items we missed out on or didn’t have time to see. My wife went to fabric town while I went to Akihabara’s Yodaibashi camera, which I felt to be better and with more varied things than Bic Camera. I then went to Ochanomizu to look at more music and sport shops. We met up again at Shinjuku for another Gyukatsu Don before heading to mister donuts again.
- Shinjuku Gyoen Garden: lovely large garden grounds. We spent almost an hour just lying under a tree and watching clouds float by. Wife was doing some rough sketches of the garden. We had mister donuts from last night for breakfast.
- Mori Museum: Saw the exhibition of Heatherwick studios, which was inspiring and educational. Paid for the rooftop access to have a quick view of Tokyo from 50-ish floors up.
- Ginza Wakamatsu: Because of one of the Uniqlo-ginza-exclusive t-shirts, my wife was curious about this traditional Japanese dessert. So we gave it a check and realised it’s been around for more than a century. There was a short line (mainly Japanese elderly). The shop interior transported us back decades. It felt surreal eating a dessert that the Japanese ate centuries ago. It’s certainly doesn’t excite and overwhelm one’s taste buds immediately as modern desserts do. But there’s an old charm to it.
- Shinjuku Okadaya fabric: Returned to Shinjuku as my wife wanted to check out another of their famous fabric stores. Prices were more expensive than fabric town, but somewhat different items.
- Bus to Kawaguchiko: Packed light to Kawaguchiko, and forwarded our remaining luggage to our post-Kawaguchiko hotel in Tamachi. The Shinjuku hotel staff were very helpful. I was merely inquiring on how luggage forwarding was done, but he picked up the phone, called my Tamachi hotel to confirm the booking, and prepared the documents for me. All I had to do was roll my luggage the next night to them and make payment. Booked a 7:45am bus to Kawaguchiko and managed to catch a glimpse of Mount Fuji when we were on our way there!
- Cycling In Kawaguchiko: We lugged our bags to our hotel and headed out again. My wife was quite hesitant about cycling overseas and I was also worried it’d tire her out too much. I debated between cycling or simply taking the sight-seeing bus. Eventually felt it worth it. We unexpectedly walked by an e-bike place and decided - why not? Neither of us had tried an e-bike before and that could reduce the effort required for my wife. So we did and boy was it fun! It took a while to get used to the e-bike but it really reduced a lot of effort up the hills! I barely sweat. Kawaguchiko had pretty narrow roads so it wasn’t the easiest to cycle. But I had plenty of road-cycling experience back at home so I was not very deterred. We borrowed helmets from the e-bike place but saw that we were the only tourists that wore them.
- Kubota Itchiku Art Museum: Cycled here knowing that this museum would interest my wife. She was so enthralled by it. I was kinda sick of museums so I told her I’d wait for her outside. Wife took about 45m inside and even bought a heavy hard-cover book of Itchiku Kubota’s kimono art :/
- Momiji Corridor: was just 50m away. Still beautiful with only green leaves, but I’d imagine it would be majestic in Autumn/Spring.
- Oishi Park: Many beautiful flowers! It’s a pity that it had been cloudy the entire day, and Mt Fuji was not visible. That would have made the cycle perfect. Park was crowded with tourists.
Planning for Fuji Q & Morning Jog: I didn’t plan to go to Fuji-Q highlands before the trip. Always felt it a bit of a waste to visit amusement parks overseas. That’s until I realised that Fuji Q had some of the most exciting, (I mean world-record-holding) rollercoasters in the world. Perhaps not anymore, but that intrigued me enough, because most amusement parks only had 1-2 coasters. Problem was that wife is terrified, and she said cycling on the streets of Kawaguchiko was like a coaster ride for her. So I decided I would reach at opening time, and buy time by paying for the fast passes and try their top three coasters. The night before, we felt that we had to make decisions on our itinerary as it was our last day at Kawaguchiko. If Mt Fuji wasn’t visible, go to Oshino Hakkai, if it was, we could try going to Shimoyoshida to get a nice picture.
- I took a morning jog that morning and my jaw dropped when I saw Mount Fuji towering over Kawaguchiko. I raced back to tell my wife (about 6am) and we both trekked up to a viewing spot to enjoy the view. This made it more urgent to not spend too much time at Fuji Q as we didn’t know how long Mt. Fuji would be visible for.
- Fuji-Q Highlands: Was absolutely amazing. Yes, I blew a lot of cash here buying fast passes for the three available coasters. But they were some of the craziest coasters. Took Eejanaika, Fujiyama and Takabisha. Total time it took probably a little more than 1 hour with the express passes. It was so good but so fast; I have little memory of it, except that there was a 90 degree climb to the top for Takabisha and I had a beautiful view of Mt. Fuji while climbing to the supposed world record of 79m for Fujiyama. Had more time to take a few other rides, and enjoyed all the Naruto statues around for fun photo-taking. What I really enjoyed about the park was that it was mostly filled with Japanese tourists; in fact, there was a Japanese school having an outing there. It was nice to see excited students running about.
- Shomoyoshida Honcho St: This destination was simply to take the famous street view of Mount Fuji with Japanese shops lined in the foreground. It’s not easy to get to, and there was quite a walk. We noticed there weren’t much people around, and most shops were closed. But when we reached the destination, there were many tourists right at the particular traffic light. So much so there was a grumpy Japanese traffic police person managing the crowd. We saw the worst of tourists that day. People were disobeying traffic laws and just running in the middle of the road just to get a shot. We chanced upon a hidden udon shop and it felt like we were transported back to the 50’s! It was super old school, people sat on raised platforms, and several elderly customers were watching the tele while eating. There was only one udon option available, with free cabbage top-ups. We learnt that the shop had been around for 73 years.
- Batting Cage: I had never played baseball/softball and my home country doesn’t have a baseball culture. Yet I had seen batting cages in Japanese drama and always wanted to try. Loved it! My technique was probably pretty bad! I did well at first but as I tried faster balls, I tired out and failed to hit any haha. We ended the day eating ramen outdoors with a view of Mount Fuji.
Woke up before sunrise for a run and to attempt to catch a sunrise picture of Mount Fuji. Streets were completely empty. Even ran to the famous Kawaguchiko Lawson for a picture. Headed back for an onsen bathe (note: we never used the hotel bathroom, and always went for an onsen bath throughout our stay in Kawaguchiko). Took a 7am bus to return to Shinjuku.
- Kichijoji: Arrived at Kichijoji at about 10. Wife really loved the vibes there. We we tried the Tsukuba suisan fish cakes which were really tasty, and my wife was intrigued that a line had formed at the adjacent store named Ozasa. Apparently they sell traditional Japanese desserts and locals would go there as early as 5am to get a ticket. So we queued and managed to get three boxes worth of the snacks! Tried the Amane Teriyaki fish-shaped bean paste snacks, another traditional dessert.
- Ghibli Museum: Requires a long walk through Inokashira park. Ghibli was fantastic. Many people have been saying recently that it’s over-rated, and that it doesn’t cater to foreign crowds and most things are in Japanese. We similarly struggled with that at first. But we found out that if you asked the staff, they actually had English language exhibition booklets ready for every exhibition! That was a revelation. And we managed to understand almost all the exhibitions by asking the uniformed staff (except the short film, which had minimal dialogue anyway). I mentioned this to one foreign group and they were really grateful for that. But I saw that many other foreigners that probably came earlier were just bored or simply going crazy at the Ghibli shop. My wife bought the museum book (which also has English explanations of each exhibit), and we understood Miyazaki’s vision for the museum - to make it suitable for kids and adults, with no pre-determined route, allowing for play, exploration, to help people be inspired by the artists’ process. Through that, we saw that everything in the museum was intentionally designed, all of the exhibitions, cafe, shop, and garden. Reading that helped me appreciate and enjoy the museum much more.
- Roaming Kichijoji and Some Time Jazz bar: My wife and I split up to roam kichijoji. I checked out some sports shops and saw that their prices were lower than Ochanomizu. We reconvened for dinner at Sometime Jazz bar. I’m picking up Jazz piano but had never been to a jazz bar. Booked it one day before, but was sad that our table position only allowed us to see some of the drummer and the pianist’s expression. Still, it was a very cool place and we had a wonderful time. We only sat through the first half of the performance that night. Note that there are seating charges, so that + dinner added up to quite a lot. But we rationalised that this was akin to paying for a performance. Checked into our hotel in Tamachi.
It was a crazy day where we simply hit the places we wanted to revisit regardless of proximity. Headed to Tokyo Skytree in the morning to check out another Ghibli store. If you’re not going to the Ghibli museum, this is probably the best store available. Headed to Shinjuku to try curry udon, then to Kichijoji to try satou beef balls and to make some purchasing decisions on some sports equipment. Then we ended up at Shibuya (my favourite place!) to the mega Don Quijote and Tokyu Hands to shop for gifts for others. It was a lovely end to our trip!
Day 12 (Mon) - Back home
Best trip ever, says my wife.
Tips for travellers
- Spread out your itinerary: If I could I would have front-loaded all the must-see tourist stuff and left the remaining days for shopping. But in May, Ghibli Museum was closed for two weeks so we had no choice but to schedule it at the end of the trip. That was a better arrangement. It felt that each day was distinctly different, and we could remember the highlight of each day. Also, be specific about where you want to go. Don’t simply put locations like - Visit Harajuku, or visit Shibuya crossing.
- Plan your itinerary in consideration of weekend crowds: Places like Tsujiki market, Ghibli Museum, Fuji-Q Highlands and other stuff are likely going to be very crowded on weekends. If you want to shop in Harajuku or Shibuya, try to avoid weekends. I opted to put the cooking class and ‘less-exciting’ Museums on weekends.- Use your telco’s roaming or get an e-sim: My wife and I split up on several occasions, so we already knew the pocket wifi was out of teh question.
- Carry more cash than you think you need: In my experience, the cash-to-card ratio was about 40:60. Considering that all metro card top-ups require cash, you really need more cash that necessary. Sometimes even bigger restaurants are cash only.
- Bring packable tote bags, and use lockers where necessary: If you’re buying stuff, packing them in tote bags makes it easier. Bigger shops will charge you for bags. All stations likely have lockers and they are really affordable and convenient.
- Travel light by planning to do laundry: I only brought four sets of clothing, and we did laundry every 3-4 days or so. It’s really convenient, about 200 yen per 30m wash, and another 200 yen for a 1h dry. It’s worthwhile to check if your hotel has coin laundry available.
- Buy wisely: Many people say the kind of things available at places like Don Quijote or Uniqlo are mind-blowing. Fact is, most of them are made in China or elsewhere. Almost 95% of the items we saw in Daiso were made in China. In fact, many items in Kappabashi street were made in China. You’re more likely to get value for money by buying a made in Japan item. Sometimes the shop will highlight if a product is Japan made. But other times, you have to scrutinise the fine print. Learn to look out for these three words in Kanji: 日本製. This is where the camera function of Google translate is immensely helpful. This was not available or widely publicised when I last visited Japan years back in 2016, so use this tech to your advantage and scrutinise the fine print!
- Plan your toilet trips if possible: If you know you’re headed to low-rise areas like Tsujiki, Fabric town where it’s just shop after shop, it’s going to be hard to find a toilet. Make sure you relieve yourself beforehand at the train station. But if you still need to go, try to find a multi-storey building and chances are, there’ll be toilets available there.
- Avoid queuing for food by timing right: In general, I found that most popular food places that required queuing had queues mainly consisting of foreigners. I wonder if this is because of the reddit/youtube/google maps review effect (not a lot of Japanese review on Google I think). Simply put, almost all food places open at 11am, so be there at 11, or have early dinner at 5pm and perhaps you may avoid the queuing.
- Plan your toilet trips if possible: If you know you’re headed to low-rise areas like Tsujiki, Fabric town where it’s just shop after shop, it’s going to be hard to find a toilet. Make sure you relieve yourself beforehand at the train station. But if you still need to go, try to find a multi-storey building and chances are, there’ll be toilets available there.o
- Scrutinise Google maps to figure out the different train types: for daily travel, there are local, rapid, and express trains. Local trains stop at every station. Rapid skips a few, and express trains likely only stops at key location. They make a big difference to travel time, and to your comfort. When Google maps recommends a route, scrutinise the detail to ensure what kind of train they are recommending. It gets confusing at the station as the platforms on your left and right may end up at the same location, but one could be a local train and the other an express train.
- Learn just 2 essential phrases: I know it may feel weird to some, but just learn to say thank you in Japanese. The other essential word is - summimasen. Useful for if you need to exit a crowded train, or if you need to get someone’s attention. We survived with just these two phrases. As our cooking teacher told us - it’s better to say something in Japanese than say nothing at all. For the rest, you can use Google translate app’s picture function.
- Other misc tips: as mentioned, bring trash bags. Some shops explicitly tell you not to walk around and eat their food. So the solution is to finish the snack in front of the shop, and say, “summimasen, can you help me to throw this trash?” That helped us avoid carrying trash around a lot. As a traveller, you’re gonna get a lot of carbs (a bowl of udon + a bowl of rice....?) and fried food. Try to go to the basements of shopping centres and get yourself some fruits. Also, if you exercise regularly like me, you'd be concerned about getting some exercise. I did pre-trip research on pools/gyms/parks to visit. But visited none of them. I settled with a daily morning routine of 100 squats and 100 pushups. That and walking an average of 18k steps daily helped. I actually lost some weight somehow.
- Drinking culture in Japan: we saw quite a few drunk people in the streets. Some of them at the parks. I had never really seen drunkards much in my home country (it could be because I don’t stay out late). When we walked by a bar area with our cooking instructor, he told us some of the people in them had been there overnight.
- The Japanese sleep late: when we arrived, we were still on the train to our hotel at 11:50. But the train was still packed with salarymen in suits and many others. In fact, it seemed the later it was, the more crowded the trains.
- Foreigner influx and how they stick out: there were way more foreigners this time than the last I visited Japan. I tended to feel very uncomfortable when large groups of foreigners were around. I had to tell myself not to be hypocritical as I was a foreigner myself. But I suppose one reason is that there were many inconsiderate foreigners. Speaking loudly, making brash comments, and just not behaving like visitors. We saw a foreign couple snuggling each other on a picnic mat in a park full of families. And they chose a spot right next to the footpath. Many foreigners also leave unkind Google reviews for places just because it’s not up to their expectations. I get it, we worked for our holiday and are paying customers, and there is often an innate tendency to feel entitled or complain when something isn’t up to our expectations. But I think it helps to remember that we are like visitors in someone’s home. Be self-aware, don’t speak loudly, note the traffic customs, where to stand on the escalators, how to behave etc.
- Japanese men have great hair: the Japanese men’s hairstyle feels frozen in time. I didn’t see the typical Korean-inspired center-parted hairstyles in Asian guys nowadays. And balding men were a small minority somehow. As someone whose hairline is slowly receding, I was envious to see many Japanese men have wavy long hair deep into their 60-70s! My wife commented that the women's hairstyles were more or less the same - dyed, curled etc. But the men were rocking so many styles!
- Window shopping still matters: as the days went by, my wife and I began to covet the "made-in-Japan" label, we realised that we hadn't done such window shopping in years. Since online shopping became prevalent, we hadn't done any window shopping. I also recall people commenting that you could get these goods online anyway, so why bother shopping in Japan. Well, window shopping makes comparison easy, it allows you to ask for recommendations, and enables you to know the items's size, feel, and look on you (if buying fashion items). It also makes discovery of new items possible. I'm not a huge shopper or a foodie, but in Japan, it's worth it to be one. I suppose it's a blessing in disguise that our honeymoon got delayed 3 years, as we now know our post-marriage lifestyles and the items we'd need in the kitchen/around the house.
2023.05.30 06:30 Educational-Nose223 BioFit Reviews Reddit : ⚠️Scam?⚠️Must Read! Before Buy - BioFit supplement Review - BioFit supplement Does Work?
 | BioFit Reviews Reddit : ⚠️Scam?⚠️Must Read! Before Buy - BioFit supplement Review - BioFit supplement Does Work?The newest weight loss supplement on the market is BioFit, which contains beneficial gut bacteria strains that help boost weight loss. Your digestive system will have a healthier balance of beneficial and harmful bacteria after taking the supplement, and you'll have more energy and fewer cravings for unhealthy foods, thanks to BioFit.BioFit supplement Review When people go to the doctor, weight gain is one of the most common problems they bring up. It can be hard to break bad eating habits, leading to people gaining weight without even realizing it. So many things, like genes, stress, not getting enough sleep, and strict diets, can make you gain weight that you don't want to. If you notice that your waistband is getting tighter or that you are gaining weight more quickly than you would like, it is time to take action. The newest weight loss supplement on the market is BioFit, which contains beneficial gut bacteria strains that help boost weight loss. Your digestive system will have a healthier balance of beneficial and harmful bacteria after taking the supplement, and you'll have more energy and fewer cravings for unhealthy foods, thanks to BioFit. This review of BioFit is based not only on the author's experience with the product but also on our analysis of some reviews and information provided by other customers. Therefore, we have covered everything you need to know before purchasing BioFit. On the list of topics up for discussion are: • BioFit Weight Loss Supplement - Introduction • What is BioFit and how does it compare to other probiotics? • Science Behind BioFit • BioFit Reviews - How Much Weight Can You Lose? • BioFit Ingredients and How They Help • The accreditations and certifications of BioFit • BioFit vs other Probiotic supplements • BioFit Pills - Pricing and Availability • BioFit Refund Policy • BioFit Reviews Closing Remarks BioFit: Supplement Overview • Brand: BioFit Nature's Formulas • BioFit Creator: Chrissie Miller • Item Form: Capsule • Flavor: Unflavored • Product Benefits: Weight Loss, Digestion, Immunity • Special Ingredients: Bacillus Subtilis, Bifidobacterium Longum, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Breve, Lactobacillus Casei, Lactobacillus Plantarium, Lactobacillus Acidophilus. • Serving Quantity: 1 capsule per day • Accreditations: GMP approved & Non-GMO • Age Range (Description): Adult • Unit Count: 30 Count/ Bottle • Money Back Guarantee: Yes • Refund Period: 180 days • Pricing: $39-$59 per bottle What is BioFit and how does it compare to other probiotics?BioFit is designed to deliver some benefits that are comparable to those provided by other probiotic supplements, such as improved digestion and support for the function of the immune system. However, BioFit goes one step further than its competitors thanks to the patented DE111 strain and potent dosage amounts of the appropriate ingredients. What Is Bacillus subtilis DE111?DE111 is a clinically tested strain of Bacillus subtilis that supports digestive and immune health. Clinical studies show the strain can control microbial populations, aid digestion, and maintain health. Genome sequencing confirmed the strain lacked plasmids, antibiotic-resistant, or deleterious genes. DE111 protects microbes from harsh conditions until they reach the GI tract. DE111's spore-forming ability makes it ideal for supplements, food, and beverages. BioFit advantages vs other probiotic supplementsChrissie Miller and the company Nature's Formulas promote advantages not commonly seen with other probiotic supplements, such as the potential to lose up to 80 pounds of fat while taking BioFit without altering your diet or exercise routine. In addition to the author's confident assertion, the entire video presentation is crammed full of testimonials from actual BioFit customers praising the product's efficacy. BioFit asserts that it can facilitate weight loss and improved digestion in a variety of ways. It turns your digestive tract into a calorie-burning machine. By taking only one capsule of BioFit daily, you can experience all of its advantages: • Lose 80 pounds without changing diet or exercise. • Reduce bloating, aid digestion, and more. • Drop pounds without dieting or exercise • Boost immunity. • Eat whatever you want without affecting gut health. How do the probiotics that are included in BioFit work?BioFit contains a whopping 5.75 billion CFUs (colony forming units) of seven different strains of probiotic bacteria in each capsule. There are no additional components. BioFit's seven clinically studied probiotics are responsible for its many health benefits. One of these, the patented spore-based Bacillus subtilis DE111 strain, has been shown to support and improve digestive health in both children and adults, as well as support the growth of beneficial gut bacteria, promote the development of healthy gastrointestinal flora, and lower total blood cholesterol and LDL cholesterol. Also, that's not all of it. However, the next logical question to ask is, "What exactly are probiotics?" In what ways do probiotics accomplish their goals of promoting healthy digestion, boosting the immune system, and decreasing abdominal bloating? Helpful bacteria in the gut are called probiotics, and they provide a number of health benefits. Many probiotics work by gleaning essential nutrients from the food you eat. Some help your body deal with toxins, while others are toxins themselves. Some can separate the active from the inactive chemicals in the foods you eat. In addition, the immune system appears to interact with other probiotic strains. Some individuals choose to improve their digestive health by taking a probiotic supplement like BioFit. Some individuals consume probiotic-filled foods such as yogurt, kefir, or fermented foods. The colony forming units (CFUs) of probiotic bacteria found in an average probiotic yogurt is approximately 1 billion, whereas the CFU count found in a typical probiotic supplement can range anywhere from 5 billion to 100 billion. The primary ingredient in BioFit is the spore-based Bacillus subtilis DE111 strain, which is protected by a natural shell so that it does not get damaged by stomach acids (in comparison, the survival rate of most probiotic strains is only about 5%). Each serving of BioFit contains a potent 5.75 billion CFUs, and the Bacillus subtilis DE111 strain is the primary active ingredient. Science Behind BioFitThe creators of BioFit have not yet published their formula in a peer-reviewed journal, and the supplement has not undergone any formal clinical trials. No need to panic or report this to the BioFit scam squad just yet. Chrissie Miller and the rest of the team at Nature's Formulas put a lot of emphasis on the research done on the separate components of BioFit, such as the strains of probiotics used in the product. For instance, in this particular research study, the researchers recommended that healthy adults take a probiotic supplement that contained strains of both lactobacillus and bifidobacteria (the same two strain families in BioFit). When compared to a group that received a placebo instead of the supplement for the same amount of time, researchers discovered that the supplemented group lost an additional three pounds of body weight over the course of the study. Over the course of a period of six months, the average amount of weight lost by adults was somewhere around three pounds. Some adults lost more weight than others, while others lost less weight than others. When you compare different probiotic supplements online, you'll find that many supplements have a higher number of colony forming units (CFUs) than BioFit does. Nevertheless, CFUs do not provide the whole picture. Even though the dosages of certain supplements can reach as high as 100 billion CFUs, this does not mean that they are inherently more effective than probiotics that contain only 5 billion CFUs. According to the findings of these researchers, having a higher CFU count is not always a positive thing. It's possible that the active ingredients in BioFit will be preserved by the medium chain triglycerides (MCTs) as they make their way through your digestive system. Medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs) are digestible fatty molecules. BioFit's MCTs serve to shield the probiotic bacteria inside, ensuring that more of the supplement's beneficial ingredients make it to where they're needed. This research shows that medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs) can prevent the digestion of active ingredients by stomach acid, allowing more probiotics to enter the small intestine. Overall, there is evidence to support the use of probiotic supplements for enhancing immune function, reducing body fat, and other health and wellness benefits. But there isn't much proof that BioFit can help you lose 80 pounds or more without changing your diet or exercising. If you watch the video, though, you'll hear a lot of positive feedback and real-life customer success stories. BioFit Ingredients and How They Help?BioFit has two different groups of active ingredients: the probiotic matrix and medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs), which hold the formula together. First Group Of Active Ingredients: The first group of active ingredients that BioFit has is called the probiotic matrix, and it has seven different strains in it. The different strains contained in BioFit each contribute in their own unique way to the overall improvement of digestion and weight loss. By taking BioFit on a daily basis, you can support the health of your digestive tract, as well as your weight loss efforts, immunity, and other functions. There is a correlation between certain strains and the functioning of the immune system. Others are associated with the functioning of the digestive system or the metabolism. The seven different strains that are included in the formula of BioFit each contain 5.75 billion colony forming units (CFUs). The majority of probiotic supplements have between three and five strains, but BioFit has seven strains for maximum effectiveness. Second Group Of Active Ingredients: BioFit contains a second class of active ingredients known as medium-chain triglycerides (MCTs). BioFit's inclusion of MCTs is meant to boost the effectiveness of the probiotics already mentioned. Even though these ingredients are listed on the BioFit label as inactive ingredients, they may in fact lend support to the active effects that the supplement produces in a variety of different ways. When compared to longer types of fatty acids, MCTs are much simpler for your body to digest. BioFit ensures that the maximum dosage of probiotic ingredients reaches your digestive tract by wrapping the probiotic strains in a layer of fatty molecules and then delivering them to your digestive system. Even though BioFit contains a lower dose of probiotics than the majority of the other supplements on the market, the MCTs could protect the probiotics, ensuring that more CFUs reach your digestive tract in the end. The two active blends of ingredients that are found in BioFit work together to provide an advanced and very helpful dose of probiotics to your gut. This is accomplished by shielding the ingredients from the acidic environment of your stomach and ensuring that the maximum number of CFUs are delivered to your gut rather than being thrown away by your metabolism. The BioFit probiotic diet pills are produced in an FDA-approved facility in the USA, where they are made in strict accordance with Good Manufacturing Practice (GMP) standards. In addition to this, they go above and beyond to ensure that every single BioFit weight loss formula is tested by impartial third-party labs. These tests ensure that the dosages, potency, and purity match what is stated on the nutritional label for the supplement, and that the formulas are free of fillers, preservatives, and any artificial contaminants. Which Specific Kinds of Probiotics Bacteria Can Be Found in BioFit?There are seven different probiotic bacterial strains packed into each serving of BioFit. In the same way that other organisms do, probiotic bacteria can be found in a variety of species and strains. While some strains have been associated with weight loss and improved immunity, others have been associated with other aspects of gut function. The amounts of each strain that are included in BioFit are variable. There is a total dose of 16.58mg 5.75 billion CFUs; however, individual strains have different dosages that are determined by the effects that are desired. Because BioFit is primarily marketed as a supplement for weight loss, the manufacturers of BioFit have placed a strong emphasis on strains that have been specifically linked to weight loss. Biofit Probiotics Bacteria are: • Bacillus Subtilis 8.89mg • Bifidobacterium Longum 1.56mg • Lactobacillus Rhamnosus 1.25mg • Bifidobacterium Breve 0.63mg • Lactobacillus Casei 0.83mg • Lactobacillus Plantarium 2.5mg • Lactobacillus Acidophilus 0.83mg Bacillus Subtilis BioFit employs Bacillus subtilis strain DE111. It makes sense that this probiotic strain would make up the bulk of BioFit given its demonstrated ability to aid in weight loss. In addition to promoting weight loss, probiotic strains boost digestive health. Some probiotic strains aid in weight loss by improving intestinal function, digestion, or the elimination of waste products. In addition to the benefits already mentioned, this BioFit probiotic strain is also notable for its credibility and published medical data, which place it among the most effective probiotic strains for natural fat burning and weight loss. Bifidobacterium Longum BioFit contains Bifidobacterium longum, which is just one of 32 different species of Bifidobacteria. B. longum's effects on humans have been the subject of extensive research. It's one of the most significant probiotic strains passed from mothers to their infants through breast milk, and it seems to play a crucial role in human development in early life. Lactobacillus Rhamnosus BioFit includes Lactobacillus rhamnosus, a beneficial probiotic strain. BioFit contains multiple strains of Lactobacillus. The benefits of L. rhamnosus for the digestive tract are multifaceted. Yogurt and other foods contain L. rhamnosus. Bifidobacterium Breve Numerous studies have found a connection between Bifidobacterium breve and good gut health, which is why it is frequently found in digestive health supplements. Researchers have found that this strain can aid in the digestion of a wide variety of molecules, which suggests that it may help digestion along more than one pathway Lactobacillus Casei The beneficial bacteria Lactobacillus casei thrives in the intestines, where it produces numerous offspring and exerts its effects. Research indicates that L. casei can thrive in a broader range of acidity and temperature than other probiotic strains. For instance, it has a better chance of thriving in the digestive tract and surviving stomach acid. Researchers have found that L. casei and L. acidophilus, another component of BioFit, work together synergistically. Lactobacillus Plantarium When compared to other lactic acid bacteria, the genome of Lactobacillus plantarum is one of the largest. It is more resistant to other strains than others because, like Lactobacillus Casei, it can withstand a wide range of acidity levels as well as temperatures. L. plantarum is one of the strains that has been researched the most in the food and supplement industries, and there is a significant body of evidence that connects L. plantarum to healthy gut function. Lactobacillus Acidophilus The seventh and final strain of Lactobacillus found in BioFit, Lactobacillus acidophilus, has been specifically linked to weight loss. According to a number of studies, Lactobacillus acidophilus is involved in the manufacturing of the enzyme amylase. Amylase is a digestive enzyme that helps break down carbohydrates in the gut and the digestive tract. If you don't have enough of this digestive enzyme, you may experience bloating after eating foods high in carbohydrates. According to the manufacturer, Lactobacillus acidophilus promotes weight loss and overall gut health. There are seven different probiotic strains included in BioFit. It's not uncommon to find only one or two varieties of a supplement or food item. BioFit's comprehensive solution to gut health and microbial optimization of good versus bad bacteria means that it may support extra gastrointestinal tract and weight loss benefits competing with other supplements despite using a lower dosage of CFUs than many of them. BioFit Reviews Closing RemarksMany users of the probiotic supplement claim that it assisted them in losing a significant amount of weight in a relatively short amount of time, which has led them to be generally optimistic about the product. After we examine the BioFit reviews that are linked to on the product's main website.
BioFit Pills - Pricing and AvailabilityYou can purchase BioFit from the website that is officially associated with it. If you purchase BioFit from its official website , you will eliminate any risk of being a victim of a scam. The company offers free shipping as well as a money-back guarantee on empty bottles for a period of 180 days.There are currently three distinct BioFit packages available for purchase. Here is a rundown of the specifics: • One Bottle of BioFit (30-day serving): $59 + $9.99 Shipping • Three bottles of BioFit (90-day serving): $49 Each + Free US Shipping • Six Bottles of BioFit (180-day serving): $39 Each + Free US Shipping Click Here to Buy BioFit From The Official Website with 180 Days Money Back Guarantee BioFit BonusesThe manufacturer, Natures Formula, has also included several bonuses to further enhance the BioFit experience for their clients. Here are the three bonuses that come with all your BioFit purchases through the official site:The Truth About Dieting – A bonus ebook that shows users how they can manage to achieve massive weight loss while still enjoying their favorite delicious foods. It is all about how BioFit works and how it can help you attain and maintain that ideal weight while enjoying the process and not giving up your favorite foods. Favorite Recipes: A bonus ebook that showcases top-notch recipes that taste great but will not make you gain weight. These recipes will augment your weight loss process as you will still eat tasty foods while losing weight. Private Members Area: The final bonus is that all buyers are given access to the private, exclusive member’s area. You can find multiple great resources in the member’s area including recipes, guides, meal plans and other helpful information from your peers. BioFit Refund PolicyBioFit provides a generous refund policy for its customers. Unlike the manufacturers of competing weight loss pills, those behind BioFit are positive about their product's efficacy. Each purchase of BioFit is backed by a 180-day, empty-bottle money-back guarantee.Customers can request a refund if they are unsatisfied with the product's performance. Customers can get a full refund by sending an email to customer support at the following address, regardless of whether the product is unopened or used. Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) Phone: 001-866-450-0608 Returns Address: Biofit 19655 E 35th Dr #100, Aurora, CO 80011, USA BioFit Probiotic FAQsHere are some of the common questions that most consumers have about BioFit: Does BioFit cause side effects? Nature’s Formulas has listed on its website that the BioFit supplement is made with safe and natural ingredients. They made this probiotic product with safety in mind, and it has undergone independent testing for purity, quality and safety by third party firms. Nevertheless, it is recommended to consult a doctor before you start taking any supplements, especially if you are also taking other prescription medications. Furthermore, nursing mothers and pregnant women should also discuss with physicians about taking this supplement. How long should you take BioFit? You should take one pill daily for at least six months to see good results. Sticking to that easy to follow schedule will give the probiotics enough space and time to work their magic on your gut. How should you store BioFit? BioFit clients are advised to store this supplement in its container in a cool and dry place. Although exposing these pills to moisture may make them a bit harder, Nature’s Formulas says that even moisture cannot affect the integrity and quality of this product. How long does each bottle of BioFit last? A bottle of BioFit comes with 30 pills to last you one month or 30 days. The recommended option for those interested in buying is the three months’ supply as it addresses severe gut issues and is convenient to use. Does BioFit have an expiry date? BioFit capsules are only valid for the first two years after the packaging date. You can easily see the expiry date prominently displayed on the bottle. If you can’t see that date on your order, you should contact customer service immediately. Is BioFit vegan-friendly? BioFit is made using water and hypromellose. These two ingredients are vegan-friendly. How long does it take to get your BioFit order? After placing your order on the Nature’s Formulas website, the company processes and ships your BioFit supplements within three or two days. You can expect to receive your order within five or seven business days. Nevertheless, BioFit availability is limited to Canada and U.S. clients only. Therefore, if you live outside these two regions then you won’t be able to get BioFit. Click Here to Buy BioFit From The Official Website with 180 Days Money Back Guarantee |
2023.05.30 06:29 Massive-Vacation3235 What Is WarZone? Why Is Warzone So popular?
Warzone typically refers to Call of Duty: Warzone, which is a popular free-to-play battle royale video game. It was developed and published by Activision as part of the Call of Duty franchise. Warzone was released on March 10, 2020 and is available on various gaming platforms such as PlayStation, Xbox, and PC.
In Call of Duty: Warzone, players participate in online multiplayer battles where they fight against other players in a large-scale map. The objective is to be the last player or team standing by eliminating opponents. The game features a variety of weapons, equipment, vehicles, and strategies to enhance gameplay. Warzone also incorporates elements of the broader Call of Duty universe, allowing players to utilize characters and weapons from other Call of Duty games.
submitted by Massive-Vacation3235 to u/Massive-Vacation3235 [link] [comments]
In Call of Duty: Warzone, players participate in online multiplayer battles where they fight against other players in a large-scale map. The objective is to be the last player or team standing by eliminating opponents. The game features a variety of weapons, equipment, vehicles, and strategies to enhance gameplay. Warzone also incorporates elements of the broader Call of Duty universe, allowing players to utilize characters and weapons from other Call of Duty games.
Why Is Warzone So popular?
There are several reasons why Call of Duty: Warzone has gained significant popularity:- Established Franchise: Warzone benefits from being part of the long-running and highly successful Call of Duty franchise. The series has a dedicated fan base that eagerly embraces new releases and experiences.
- Free-to-Play Model: Warzone is available as a free-to-play game, which means anyone can download and play it without having to purchase the base game. This accessibility has contributed to its popularity, as it allows a wide range of players to join in without any financial commitment.
- Battle Royale Genre: Warzone falls into the popular battle royale genre, where a large number of players compete against each other until only one individual or team remains. Battle royale games offer a mix of intense combat, strategic decision-making, and the thrill of being the last one standing. This genre has attracted a massive player base due to its competitive nature and the adrenaline rush it provides.
- Cross-Platform Support: Warzone supports cross-platform play, allowing players on different gaming platforms (such as PlayStation, Xbox, and PC) to play together. This feature enhances the player pool and makes it easier for friends to team up, regardless of their chosen gaming platform.
- Regular Updates and Seasons: Warzone receives frequent updates and new seasons, introducing fresh content such as maps, weapons, game modes, and cosmetic items. This regular stream of updates helps keep the game engaging and maintains player interest over time.
- Integration with Call of Duty: Warzone integrates with other Call of Duty games, allowing players to unlock content and use characters and weapons from the broader franchise. This integration appeals to fans of the series, who enjoy the familiarity and connection to the larger Call of Duty universe.
- Streaming and eSports: Warzone's popularity has been further amplified through streaming platforms like Twitch and YouTube, where many popular streamers and content creators showcase their gameplay. This exposure, combined with the game's potential for high-stakes competitive play, has contributed to its success in the realm of eSports.
2023.05.30 06:29 ryu289 Me thinks there is a little projection.
Alphabet Mafia Terrorists Call in Bomb Threats to Target After ‘Pride’ Clothes Yanked From ShelvesExcept it wasn't real: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.tmz.com/2023/05/27/target-bomb-threat-lgbtq-ally-ohio-utah-pride-hoax/ Who first reported on it? Cleveland 19, which is owned by Gray Television Inc. Hilton H Howell is Chairman/Co-CEO at Gray Television. He recently donated to:
- Donald Trump (R)
- John King (R)
- Brian Kemp (R)
- National Assn of Broadcasters
- Steve Scalise (R)
- Adam Kinzinger (R)
- Republican National Cmte (R)
- Adam Kinzinger (R)
- Kelly Loeffler (R)
Note that conservative groups used an economic boycott to make their point while the homos sent death threats.And you do the same.
The clothing line for this shit was geared toward children, with “tuck friendly” swimwear and gay sleepwear for babies.Why do people have to lie about what was on display?
Corporate crapweasels create depraved ad campaigns and clothing, pandering to unhinged dysphoric nutbags who change their pronouns and body parts to match their mental illness.
That last link in particular relies on another liar
2023.05.30 06:29 Intelligent-Debt-172 Value estimate?
 | last summer I went thrifting and I got this dress because it was my dream princess dress and i fell in love. I was looking at it today and the brand is called Johnny and Dave by Laura Ryner and it’s a vintage dress so I was just wondering how to figure out what its value is. The brands current dresses retail for between $300-$800 USD from what I saw on the website at a quick glance but all the second hand vintage dresses I see being sold online extremely vary from between $50-$800 (CAD). submitted by Intelligent-Debt-172 to VintageFashion [link] [comments] also, I paid C$50 for this dress and I know it sounds dumb that I’m asking its value because that’s how much I had paid; but, I’m asking in the sense of “I paid $50 for it but how much is it actually worth“. |
2023.05.30 06:28 Virtual-Travel-2373 Should I (19M) forgive my ex (18F) for infidelity after 4 months together?
Context: I met a girl at a club in January, and we started seeing each other two or so weeks later. Where we live, it's normal to unofficially date for a while before one person (typically the man) asks their partner to officially date. Essentially we were "dating" for almost four months; I met her parents, spent a lot of time with her, and was about to officially ask her to date me before the incident in question. Our relationship was very stable up until this point with no big arguments, grudges, or other incidents of infidelity, and I was looking to introduce her to my family as well. We also go to the same uni where she is one semester below me and both our classes are quite large (90-100 students each). Additionally, our uni does not offer dorms, so both of us live with our parents in the same city since our families already live here.
First off, I'd like to start by saying that I understand that both in terms of the infidelity in question and the time my ex and I were together, this isn't as serious as some of the other posts related to infidelity. That being said, for reasons I'll explain later on, I don't have anyone in my life who knows the full context of the situation and I also need a place to get all of it off my chest, so here we go. This is my first-ever post, so I apologize in advance if this is too long or hard to read, and there's a TL;DR at the bottom.
The incident in question happened this past Friday (a couple of days after my birthday and a week before our final exams). She went to a bar with her friends before heading to a club where she got drunk and kissed a guy (who we'll call Steve) from her class at uni.
I know 'Steve' is, as she kissed him at a party we both went to right before we became monogamous; a moment I saw myself and nearly made me give up on pursuing the relationship further. She would have occasional run-ins with him between the party and last Friday, but they weren't close, and from what she told me they weren't flirtatious at all during these interactions (which were few and far between). She used to tease me with Steve because in her words he was the only person that affected me from her past and she wasn't interested in him whatsoever.
According to her, the kiss lasted only for a moment and wasn't hot or heavy. As soon as she kissed him she called me crying, told me what happened, and headed home. I was feeling kind of tired and since our exams are coming up this Thursday, I stayed home. I took a quick nap and woke up with her call. She was crying and frantic, so much so that I could barely make out what she was saying and thought someone had forced himself upon her.
I went over to her house where she told me what happened: she had kissed Steve, the same guy that nearly broke us apart before and all it took was for him to insist a little on the kiss for her to go for it. I couldn't wrap my head around it at first; I felt a mix of confusion, anger, and more notably pain and sadness. All I could make out at the time was "I'm going home, I don't know what to say right now. And you tell Steve that I better not see him anywhere outside of campus" That last part sounded very out of character for me, as most people who know me can attest to the fact that I'm very level-headed and kind. That being said, Steve was directly involved in two of the most hurtful moments of my life recently, and he knew that she was seeing someone (even who I was) when he approached her on Friday. My threat was not a sort of macho-esque need to assert myself over him, but rather a warning that I'm not sure I'd be able to control myself if I saw him because he embodies all the anger and pain I currently feel.
As I headed home I was bombarded with messages from her, apologizing and telling me she loves me (something I'd already felt, but that neither of us had mustered the courage to say to each other). I walked into my room and hit my wall several times, leaving bruises on my hands and waking up my dogs and my dad. He came into my room and as I told him what happened he consoled me as I cried and told me I can either forgive her and continue the relationship, or break up. I slept on it and decided that the logical move was to break up.
I went to her house and told her I couldn't forgive her, much less trust her after what had happened. We both cried and talked for about half an hour, and I went home completely broken. I then told my closest friends about it, and after a reinforcement class for one of my subjects, I called them separately. One told me that the situation sucks, but that I should focus my pain to fuel my workouts and that we could get girls if I came to visit him over the summer. Another told me that out of all the people cheating could happen to (including himself), he couldn't believe that it happened to me because in his eyes I'm one of the people who least deserves such a thing to happen to them. Both of them concluded that it wasn't as bad because the relationship wasn't too long and I can look forward to being single again.
As I mentioned previously, no one in my life knows the full context of the relationship; my house is undergoing renovations so I couldn't invite my gf to my house, and my parents wanted to meet with her for the first time without extended family, both of which never coincided in our time together. On top of that, I didn't talk about her much to my friends or family; my family respects my privacy and since all my friends were single during this period and I hadn't had any fights or problems with her, I didn't want to flaunt my relationship on them, as when I was single I'd feel a little bad about myself when my friends told me about how well their relationships were when I'd never had one.
My relationship with my ex was really good, as I mentioned we had no big arguments, but that wasn't because we hadn't encountered hardships, but rather that both of us were able to communicate openly and honestly. We were able to open up about our insecurities and share all sides of our personalities and our quirks. The only thing that bothered me slightly was that she sometimes hung out with a guy she'd kissed somewhat recently, as well as her interactions with Steve. That being said she wasn't close friends with either one of them, I didn't want to be possessive or toxic, and up until that point I had no prior reason to believe she'd be unfaithful so I chalked it up to my own insecurities, and kept it to myself. Since the incident, she's mostly respected my need for space, even if her friends haven't (supposedly not at her request).
Back to the present, I felt absolutely miserable from Friday night to Sunday morning, tossing and turning about what had happened. I woke up on Sunday to some messages from her saying she wrote me a card that I could pick up at her lobby or have a delivery boy bring to my house. I didn't mind heading over there so I picked it up with the doorman and went to a friend's house to study and finish up a final project. I didn't tell anyone about the card, neither did I open it until I headed home. I stayed for around 10 hours in my friend's house wrapping everything up, and while it was a necessary break from all the turmoil, the letter was gnawing at the back of my head the entire time.
As soon as I got home I opened and read the letter. I won't divulge what was said in it, as even though this is an anonymous post I'd still prefer to keep its contents private for me and her. Nevertheless, it was very moving, and it made me reevaluate my decision on top of my continued feelings for her.
All of that brings us to today: I just finished one of the best workouts of my life, listening to my saddest playlist throughout and passing bruise cream on my hands (they've started to hurt when I move them). I thanked her for the letter and told her that regardless of what happens between us, we should talk things out after the end of our exams, as right now we both need to focus on passing our classes.
I feel heartbroken, confused, and hurt, but at the same time I miss her and our time together. She was my first relationship and realistically the first time a girl truly cared for me besides my family and friends (I've never gone past one-night stands or hooking up at parties other than a couple dates). I'm worried that I'd be making a mistake by being with her again, as it goes against most of the advice I've received and I could just be head over heels because this is my first serious relationship. Furthermore, I'm also worried that because of what's happened I'll have trust issues - be it with her or someone else - that'll make things toxic. What should I do?
TL;DR: My girlfriend of four months kissed a guy at a bar. I broke up with her but I'm not sure it was the right decision because of how special our time together was. Should I give her another chance?
submitted by Virtual-Travel-2373 to relationships [link] [comments]
First off, I'd like to start by saying that I understand that both in terms of the infidelity in question and the time my ex and I were together, this isn't as serious as some of the other posts related to infidelity. That being said, for reasons I'll explain later on, I don't have anyone in my life who knows the full context of the situation and I also need a place to get all of it off my chest, so here we go. This is my first-ever post, so I apologize in advance if this is too long or hard to read, and there's a TL;DR at the bottom.
The incident in question happened this past Friday (a couple of days after my birthday and a week before our final exams). She went to a bar with her friends before heading to a club where she got drunk and kissed a guy (who we'll call Steve) from her class at uni.
I know 'Steve' is, as she kissed him at a party we both went to right before we became monogamous; a moment I saw myself and nearly made me give up on pursuing the relationship further. She would have occasional run-ins with him between the party and last Friday, but they weren't close, and from what she told me they weren't flirtatious at all during these interactions (which were few and far between). She used to tease me with Steve because in her words he was the only person that affected me from her past and she wasn't interested in him whatsoever.
According to her, the kiss lasted only for a moment and wasn't hot or heavy. As soon as she kissed him she called me crying, told me what happened, and headed home. I was feeling kind of tired and since our exams are coming up this Thursday, I stayed home. I took a quick nap and woke up with her call. She was crying and frantic, so much so that I could barely make out what she was saying and thought someone had forced himself upon her.
I went over to her house where she told me what happened: she had kissed Steve, the same guy that nearly broke us apart before and all it took was for him to insist a little on the kiss for her to go for it. I couldn't wrap my head around it at first; I felt a mix of confusion, anger, and more notably pain and sadness. All I could make out at the time was "I'm going home, I don't know what to say right now. And you tell Steve that I better not see him anywhere outside of campus" That last part sounded very out of character for me, as most people who know me can attest to the fact that I'm very level-headed and kind. That being said, Steve was directly involved in two of the most hurtful moments of my life recently, and he knew that she was seeing someone (even who I was) when he approached her on Friday. My threat was not a sort of macho-esque need to assert myself over him, but rather a warning that I'm not sure I'd be able to control myself if I saw him because he embodies all the anger and pain I currently feel.
As I headed home I was bombarded with messages from her, apologizing and telling me she loves me (something I'd already felt, but that neither of us had mustered the courage to say to each other). I walked into my room and hit my wall several times, leaving bruises on my hands and waking up my dogs and my dad. He came into my room and as I told him what happened he consoled me as I cried and told me I can either forgive her and continue the relationship, or break up. I slept on it and decided that the logical move was to break up.
I went to her house and told her I couldn't forgive her, much less trust her after what had happened. We both cried and talked for about half an hour, and I went home completely broken. I then told my closest friends about it, and after a reinforcement class for one of my subjects, I called them separately. One told me that the situation sucks, but that I should focus my pain to fuel my workouts and that we could get girls if I came to visit him over the summer. Another told me that out of all the people cheating could happen to (including himself), he couldn't believe that it happened to me because in his eyes I'm one of the people who least deserves such a thing to happen to them. Both of them concluded that it wasn't as bad because the relationship wasn't too long and I can look forward to being single again.
As I mentioned previously, no one in my life knows the full context of the relationship; my house is undergoing renovations so I couldn't invite my gf to my house, and my parents wanted to meet with her for the first time without extended family, both of which never coincided in our time together. On top of that, I didn't talk about her much to my friends or family; my family respects my privacy and since all my friends were single during this period and I hadn't had any fights or problems with her, I didn't want to flaunt my relationship on them, as when I was single I'd feel a little bad about myself when my friends told me about how well their relationships were when I'd never had one.
My relationship with my ex was really good, as I mentioned we had no big arguments, but that wasn't because we hadn't encountered hardships, but rather that both of us were able to communicate openly and honestly. We were able to open up about our insecurities and share all sides of our personalities and our quirks. The only thing that bothered me slightly was that she sometimes hung out with a guy she'd kissed somewhat recently, as well as her interactions with Steve. That being said she wasn't close friends with either one of them, I didn't want to be possessive or toxic, and up until that point I had no prior reason to believe she'd be unfaithful so I chalked it up to my own insecurities, and kept it to myself. Since the incident, she's mostly respected my need for space, even if her friends haven't (supposedly not at her request).
Back to the present, I felt absolutely miserable from Friday night to Sunday morning, tossing and turning about what had happened. I woke up on Sunday to some messages from her saying she wrote me a card that I could pick up at her lobby or have a delivery boy bring to my house. I didn't mind heading over there so I picked it up with the doorman and went to a friend's house to study and finish up a final project. I didn't tell anyone about the card, neither did I open it until I headed home. I stayed for around 10 hours in my friend's house wrapping everything up, and while it was a necessary break from all the turmoil, the letter was gnawing at the back of my head the entire time.
As soon as I got home I opened and read the letter. I won't divulge what was said in it, as even though this is an anonymous post I'd still prefer to keep its contents private for me and her. Nevertheless, it was very moving, and it made me reevaluate my decision on top of my continued feelings for her.
All of that brings us to today: I just finished one of the best workouts of my life, listening to my saddest playlist throughout and passing bruise cream on my hands (they've started to hurt when I move them). I thanked her for the letter and told her that regardless of what happens between us, we should talk things out after the end of our exams, as right now we both need to focus on passing our classes.
I feel heartbroken, confused, and hurt, but at the same time I miss her and our time together. She was my first relationship and realistically the first time a girl truly cared for me besides my family and friends (I've never gone past one-night stands or hooking up at parties other than a couple dates). I'm worried that I'd be making a mistake by being with her again, as it goes against most of the advice I've received and I could just be head over heels because this is my first serious relationship. Furthermore, I'm also worried that because of what's happened I'll have trust issues - be it with her or someone else - that'll make things toxic. What should I do?
TL;DR: My girlfriend of four months kissed a guy at a bar. I broke up with her but I'm not sure it was the right decision because of how special our time together was. Should I give her another chance?
2023.05.30 06:28 yeegetawaytravel 6 Things To Do In Gelephu- Yeegetaway
 | The Southern Bhutan, Gelephu submitted by yeegetawaytravel to u/yeegetawaytravel [link] [comments] Gelephu, located in southern Bhutan, is a charming town that offers a delightful mix of natural beauty, cultural heritage, and outdoor adventures. Whether you're a nature enthusiast, a history buff, or an adventure seeker, Gelephu has something to offer for everyone. In this blog post, we'll explore the top six things to do in Gelephu. Visit the Royal Manas National ParkNature lovers will be enthralled by the Royal Manas National Park, a UNESCO World Heritage site. This sprawling park is home to a diverse range of flora and fauna, including endangered species like the Bengal tiger, Asian elephant, and greater one-horned rhinoceros. Embark on a wildlife safari, hike through lush forests, and witness the breathtaking beauty of the park's landscapes. Explore the Zangtopelri LhakhangImmerse yourself in Bhutanese spirituality by visiting the Zangtopelri Lhakhang. This majestic temple is adorned with intricate artwork and is a place of worship for locals. Witness the daily rituals and soak in the serene atmosphere as you explore the temple's ornate interiors.Experience traditional Bhutanese cultureTake a stroll through the local markets and interact with the friendly residents of Gelephu. Discover traditional Bhutanese handicrafts, taste local delicacies, and witness colorful cultural performances. The warm hospitality of the locals will make you feel right at home.Trek to the Narphung VillageLace up your hiking boots and embark on a trek to the picturesque Narphung Village. Surrounded by verdant hills and terraced fields, this quaint village offers breathtaking views of the surrounding landscapes. Interact with the villagers, learn about their way of life, and savor the tranquility of this hidden gem.Stay at Tsachu Eco LodgeThis place is a dream for those looking for a jungle retreat. The sound of chirping birds, the river below the hotspring, monkeys swinging on flimsy branches…the musical notes sound different here. But as the evening sun sets, the flight of the magnificent hornbills echo across the hill. I spent my evening on the lodge terrace before Ana Dema, the lodge chef, calls me to come for Tongba before dinner.Attend the Gelephu TshechuIf you're lucky enough to visit Gelephu during the festival season, don't miss the Gelephu Tshechu. This vibrant religious festival showcases traditional mask dances, music, and cultural performances. Experience the joyous atmosphere and witness the deep-rooted Bhutanese traditions come to life. Gelephu is a hidden gem that offers a unique blend of natural wonders and cultural experiences. Whether you're seeking adventure, tranquility, or an immersive cultural journey, Gelephu is sure to leave a lasting impression. Plan your visit to this enchanting town and create memories that will stay with you forever. Visit Yeegetaway for more vivid information from our blogs and plan accordingly. |
2023.05.30 06:28 FinalFantasy_Nerd Set some boundaries regarding my newborn baby but feel horrible.
I (30f) am 37 weeks pregnant with my husband's and my first child and had a heated discussion with my mom (54f) about the conditions when they come and see baby.
This is a long one so I am sorry in advance.
I must explain it a bit further. My mom calls herself "baby crazy" and openly admitted to me that the baby stage is her favorite stage when it comes to kids. She loves cuddling baby's, taking photos of them (photography is kinda her hobby, which is fine), kissing them and so on. I am one of 6 children and my brother already has two children of his own (5m, 4f) so there were and are plenty of children in her life. But, since she is merely interested in small baby's, she and my dad quickly lose interest in the children from a certain age. Maybe around the time they go to school. My parents then only feed, dress and house the children and deem it enough. No words of endearment or affirmation are ever heard again. Of course, as teenagers, we called them out on that. Exclaiming how they never ask uns how we do, we never talk around dinner table how our day was. Their excuse: they find it bothersome to ask us every day how we are. Which was never our goal (all we wanted was for them to ask us how we are every once in a while) but they always have the same pattern of excuse: drawing the argument completely out of proportion to make it sound ridiculous in their ears. According to my mother, if they didn't take an interest in my siblings from the age of 6, the time we went to school, then she would have given all of us up for adoption. See? Completely out of proportion. We called them out on how they never say "I am proud of you" or "I love you". Their answer: of course we do love you/of course we are proud of you. Yet they never say or show it. We just "have to know". This continued all my life. 8 years studying in university, no "How are you?". 1 year studying abroad as an exchange student, no "How is it going?". Now I live with my husband in a different country (in Europe) for 3 years and they never shown any interest in my life. Or my husband for that matter. Never send him a Happy Birthday text. Last year, even I didn't get a Happy Birthday text. They also never visit. Not ever. Whereas I try to show interest by calling on their birthdays, visiting for Christmas etc. I am used to this general lack of interest by now and don't mind it, as long as it keeps the piece.
Side info: yes they do have a smartphone and the whole family has different group chats on a messenger app. They could easily text (which they often do concerning my niece and nephew), call or even video chat, like I did last week because it was my dad's birthday and I couldn't travel the 300km each way while heavily pregnant.
But what did upset me was that although my parents never bothered to ask how my pregnancy is going or how my baby is doing, suddenly, with the birth coming closer and closer, they are so excited to come and see the baby. Mind you, they never even asked for the baby's name and wouldn't know till today if my sister didn't say it by accident when she visited for a birthday. I did send every ultrasound picture in the family group chat (also for my siblings to see), send them info's about my baby's health or send videos showing how the baby moves inside my belly. These were all met with a simple thumps up or heart emoji. No further questions. Nothing for 9 months. Due to the lack of interest, I stopped at some point. The only information my mother send me during this whole pregnancy was that she bought a number of photo albums for her grandkids. She has some for my niece and nephew already and bought 4 more. One for my baby when it is born and three more so I could give her 3 more grand babies. I was upset by this as I was hoping she would show some general interest in me or my baby, not just her wish to have a full album of photos or a wagon load of grandbabys. This went along with her demand "And I want lots of pictures of the baby when it's born" as if she is entitled to them.
She had other demands during my pregnancy, like letting me know she is gonna do some hand- and footprints of the baby when they visit. And she would do some for me as well since she still has the paint to do it from when my niece and nephew were born. Like I couldn't make some prints myself. Also, she let me know that she is gonna buy lipstick, put it on herself and kiss my newborn all over her face to take a cute picture showing how much her grandma loves her new grand baby. She never wears makeup and has no clue what good brands are. She would buy some cheap lipstick and use it. All of these things (and more) were not questions, they were demands! I usually ignored them since they caused a lot of stress for me, thinking about how she going to do all that to my baby. I admit I should've said something earlier and I fully take responsibility for that.
My parents also never asked us when they could come visit. I am very fortunate that my husband gets to have a full month off of work when the baby comes but we are also in the midst of moving into a bigger apartment so that the baby will have a room of her own. We are expecting end of June although the baby could also decide to come early July. Who knows? Yet the month of July will be our busiest month, taking care of a newborn, growing together as a family and moving. What sparked the heated discussion now was a voice mail from my mom, exclaiming they decided they want to come mid July to see the baby. In her mind, I already would have had 2 to maybe 3 weeks after birth and they would wanna see the baby as long as it is still tiny and cute. I was livid since first of all, they never asked us when they could visit my whole pregnancy, simply stating a fact again and second of all, they only want to see my baby when it's tiny and cute? So it only matters to them when it's fresh out of the womb? I talked to my husband and we decided to calmly let them know that July wouldn't work for us and maybe they could come in August, when the baby is a bit older and the move is done. She went ballistic, sending me a 50 mins (!!) voice mail saying they couldn't come on August since they made other plans (like a doctor's appointment - for real!) and the baby would already be so grown then. My mother said that since babys grow so fast, I would strip them of the moment to see the baby so small. A moment they will never get back. Another strategy she always uses: making us the villains and making us feel bad. She also started to cry and, when the discussion goes nowhere, shuts down and literally runs away. It has always been that way. So that discussion went nowhere.
Since my mother is "baby crazy" I did see a number of times how she always wants to hold and cuddle baby's. And I know she will want to do that with my baby too which in itself is a not a problem for me. But I also know that the baby is the only reason they come. They will focus only on the baby, not bothering with my husband and me. They will come into the apartment, head straight for the crib and take my baby. Doesn't matter if the baby is sleeping or what. Since I know how my mother is, I started to get anxiety early in the pregnancy. A fear she is gonna take away my child. Not giving it back when I say so. Not giving it back when it's time to feed.
I also told her that I don't feel comfortable knowing she is gonna take my baby away from me to cuddle and kiss. In her 50 mins tirade she first said "Of course we come to see and cuddle the baby, that's what we come for in the first place" (thanks mom for wanting to see me btw). Later she went a step back and said she would not take my baby out of the crib when it sleeps. Probably because she feared I would forbid her from seeing the baby all together. But later she again said that they do wanna come and hold the baby and if they couldn't, then they wouldn't come all the way. Only to later again say of course she will give the baby to me when I ask. Also she said that she wouldn't want to come just to see the baby from afar when it sleeps. But then stating that she would be fine to just get a glimpse of it. But then also saying that she is only there for 2-3 days and wants to hold it as long as possible in that short time and "you can have it back when we leave". She literally said that it belongs to me again when they leave. Like what? Like it only belongs to you when you are here?? All these mixed signals made me even more anxious.
All in all my husband and I know that she has difficulties differentiating the baby as not her baby. It is my husband's and my baby but she seems to forget that and believe it to be hers.
She is the type of woman that says "mother knows best" and would argue with me how the baby is so comfortable right now while cuddling her when I tell her to give me my baby back. Also, she openly said that since July is so busy for us, she would take care of my baby while my husband and I can do the heavy lifting when moving or that I "will have time to do chores". I hate people who believe the only way of helping a new mother is by taking the newborn out of the her arms to cuddle while the mother "finally" gets to do the housework. It makes me furious.
So, we did what we had to and directly told them when it would be a good time for us to have them over (last week of July, to make a compromise) and we put our foot down and set the following rules: #1: no baby holding unless asked or given to. #2: no photos taken unasked or even shared on social media. #3: no hand- or footprints done when not asked, no lipstick kissing photos. #4: if they want to take part in my baby's life, they need to come to me and ask for information, photos or videos. Not the other way around.
We thought these rules were not too extreme and would give me a piece of mind, soften my anxiety. Since telling her our rules she only gave us the silent treatment. I know she is mad that she doesn't get it her way. I know she must be crying, which makes my dad livid (from my sister who's still living with my parents I know that my dad supports her in every decision she made about my baby).
I am easy to guilt trip. And now I am wondering if we did something wrong.
submitted by FinalFantasy_Nerd to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
This is a long one so I am sorry in advance.
I must explain it a bit further. My mom calls herself "baby crazy" and openly admitted to me that the baby stage is her favorite stage when it comes to kids. She loves cuddling baby's, taking photos of them (photography is kinda her hobby, which is fine), kissing them and so on. I am one of 6 children and my brother already has two children of his own (5m, 4f) so there were and are plenty of children in her life. But, since she is merely interested in small baby's, she and my dad quickly lose interest in the children from a certain age. Maybe around the time they go to school. My parents then only feed, dress and house the children and deem it enough. No words of endearment or affirmation are ever heard again. Of course, as teenagers, we called them out on that. Exclaiming how they never ask uns how we do, we never talk around dinner table how our day was. Their excuse: they find it bothersome to ask us every day how we are. Which was never our goal (all we wanted was for them to ask us how we are every once in a while) but they always have the same pattern of excuse: drawing the argument completely out of proportion to make it sound ridiculous in their ears. According to my mother, if they didn't take an interest in my siblings from the age of 6, the time we went to school, then she would have given all of us up for adoption. See? Completely out of proportion. We called them out on how they never say "I am proud of you" or "I love you". Their answer: of course we do love you/of course we are proud of you. Yet they never say or show it. We just "have to know". This continued all my life. 8 years studying in university, no "How are you?". 1 year studying abroad as an exchange student, no "How is it going?". Now I live with my husband in a different country (in Europe) for 3 years and they never shown any interest in my life. Or my husband for that matter. Never send him a Happy Birthday text. Last year, even I didn't get a Happy Birthday text. They also never visit. Not ever. Whereas I try to show interest by calling on their birthdays, visiting for Christmas etc. I am used to this general lack of interest by now and don't mind it, as long as it keeps the piece.
Side info: yes they do have a smartphone and the whole family has different group chats on a messenger app. They could easily text (which they often do concerning my niece and nephew), call or even video chat, like I did last week because it was my dad's birthday and I couldn't travel the 300km each way while heavily pregnant.
But what did upset me was that although my parents never bothered to ask how my pregnancy is going or how my baby is doing, suddenly, with the birth coming closer and closer, they are so excited to come and see the baby. Mind you, they never even asked for the baby's name and wouldn't know till today if my sister didn't say it by accident when she visited for a birthday. I did send every ultrasound picture in the family group chat (also for my siblings to see), send them info's about my baby's health or send videos showing how the baby moves inside my belly. These were all met with a simple thumps up or heart emoji. No further questions. Nothing for 9 months. Due to the lack of interest, I stopped at some point. The only information my mother send me during this whole pregnancy was that she bought a number of photo albums for her grandkids. She has some for my niece and nephew already and bought 4 more. One for my baby when it is born and three more so I could give her 3 more grand babies. I was upset by this as I was hoping she would show some general interest in me or my baby, not just her wish to have a full album of photos or a wagon load of grandbabys. This went along with her demand "And I want lots of pictures of the baby when it's born" as if she is entitled to them.
She had other demands during my pregnancy, like letting me know she is gonna do some hand- and footprints of the baby when they visit. And she would do some for me as well since she still has the paint to do it from when my niece and nephew were born. Like I couldn't make some prints myself. Also, she let me know that she is gonna buy lipstick, put it on herself and kiss my newborn all over her face to take a cute picture showing how much her grandma loves her new grand baby. She never wears makeup and has no clue what good brands are. She would buy some cheap lipstick and use it. All of these things (and more) were not questions, they were demands! I usually ignored them since they caused a lot of stress for me, thinking about how she going to do all that to my baby. I admit I should've said something earlier and I fully take responsibility for that.
My parents also never asked us when they could come visit. I am very fortunate that my husband gets to have a full month off of work when the baby comes but we are also in the midst of moving into a bigger apartment so that the baby will have a room of her own. We are expecting end of June although the baby could also decide to come early July. Who knows? Yet the month of July will be our busiest month, taking care of a newborn, growing together as a family and moving. What sparked the heated discussion now was a voice mail from my mom, exclaiming they decided they want to come mid July to see the baby. In her mind, I already would have had 2 to maybe 3 weeks after birth and they would wanna see the baby as long as it is still tiny and cute. I was livid since first of all, they never asked us when they could visit my whole pregnancy, simply stating a fact again and second of all, they only want to see my baby when it's tiny and cute? So it only matters to them when it's fresh out of the womb? I talked to my husband and we decided to calmly let them know that July wouldn't work for us and maybe they could come in August, when the baby is a bit older and the move is done. She went ballistic, sending me a 50 mins (!!) voice mail saying they couldn't come on August since they made other plans (like a doctor's appointment - for real!) and the baby would already be so grown then. My mother said that since babys grow so fast, I would strip them of the moment to see the baby so small. A moment they will never get back. Another strategy she always uses: making us the villains and making us feel bad. She also started to cry and, when the discussion goes nowhere, shuts down and literally runs away. It has always been that way. So that discussion went nowhere.
Since my mother is "baby crazy" I did see a number of times how she always wants to hold and cuddle baby's. And I know she will want to do that with my baby too which in itself is a not a problem for me. But I also know that the baby is the only reason they come. They will focus only on the baby, not bothering with my husband and me. They will come into the apartment, head straight for the crib and take my baby. Doesn't matter if the baby is sleeping or what. Since I know how my mother is, I started to get anxiety early in the pregnancy. A fear she is gonna take away my child. Not giving it back when I say so. Not giving it back when it's time to feed.
I also told her that I don't feel comfortable knowing she is gonna take my baby away from me to cuddle and kiss. In her 50 mins tirade she first said "Of course we come to see and cuddle the baby, that's what we come for in the first place" (thanks mom for wanting to see me btw). Later she went a step back and said she would not take my baby out of the crib when it sleeps. Probably because she feared I would forbid her from seeing the baby all together. But later she again said that they do wanna come and hold the baby and if they couldn't, then they wouldn't come all the way. Only to later again say of course she will give the baby to me when I ask. Also she said that she wouldn't want to come just to see the baby from afar when it sleeps. But then stating that she would be fine to just get a glimpse of it. But then also saying that she is only there for 2-3 days and wants to hold it as long as possible in that short time and "you can have it back when we leave". She literally said that it belongs to me again when they leave. Like what? Like it only belongs to you when you are here?? All these mixed signals made me even more anxious.
All in all my husband and I know that she has difficulties differentiating the baby as not her baby. It is my husband's and my baby but she seems to forget that and believe it to be hers.
She is the type of woman that says "mother knows best" and would argue with me how the baby is so comfortable right now while cuddling her when I tell her to give me my baby back. Also, she openly said that since July is so busy for us, she would take care of my baby while my husband and I can do the heavy lifting when moving or that I "will have time to do chores". I hate people who believe the only way of helping a new mother is by taking the newborn out of the her arms to cuddle while the mother "finally" gets to do the housework. It makes me furious.
So, we did what we had to and directly told them when it would be a good time for us to have them over (last week of July, to make a compromise) and we put our foot down and set the following rules: #1: no baby holding unless asked or given to. #2: no photos taken unasked or even shared on social media. #3: no hand- or footprints done when not asked, no lipstick kissing photos. #4: if they want to take part in my baby's life, they need to come to me and ask for information, photos or videos. Not the other way around.
We thought these rules were not too extreme and would give me a piece of mind, soften my anxiety. Since telling her our rules she only gave us the silent treatment. I know she is mad that she doesn't get it her way. I know she must be crying, which makes my dad livid (from my sister who's still living with my parents I know that my dad supports her in every decision she made about my baby).
I am easy to guilt trip. And now I am wondering if we did something wrong.
2023.05.30 06:27 Bac0nFr0mTh3Grav3 AITA for feeling resentful towards my parents?
I’m the oldest (31M) of three siblings. My wife and I have three kids of our own now (8, 4, & 2), my younger brother (27) and his wife have a son (2), and my youngest brother (24) still lives with my parents.
Recently, I’ve started to become resentful towards my parents for their, what feels like, disinterest in me and my family.
We live roughly 45 minutes from my parents and used to make an effort to go visit at least once a week. My parents, on the other hand, rarely come to our house and, when they do, they stay for an almost offensively short period of time (usually just long enough to finish eating).
They don’t seem to want to really be around our kids. They are often “busy” when opportunities come up for them to attend ball games or school events; it’s very rare that they will ever commit to a sleep over or watching the kids even for a few hours. This is especially hurtful to my wife because when my brother and his family are in town (they live about 5 hours away), my parents bend over backwards to spend every second with them, taking PTO, taking them out to eat, offering to keep my nephew overnight. While I get taking advantage of the time they have due to distance, we are often left out of plans or notified as an afterthought.
I’ve expressed my feelings before about their favoritism of my brother’s family. This led to a full discussion on how they’ve “never had to worry about me” and that I’m very responsible unlike my brother and his wife. My parents claim I’ve always been independent, and my brother simply needs more of their attention because they are afraid my nephew isn’t going to turn out (he has some anger issues and has been kicked out of multiple daycares).
Ultimately, I felt like they were just patronizing me and feeding excuses to lessen my frustration. I feel like my kids deserve better and will one day see the same disparity I see between the love/attention they get vs. their cousin.
This morning things escalated because my dad texted my wife before she was even out of bed to ask for the Hulu password (they use our account). The last time he reached out was on her birthday which highlighted the fact that he only messaged because he wanted something. We later found out it was because they are watching my nephew for my brother.
When we didn’t respond immediately, he went through an old email, reset the password, and then locked the kids’ profile with a passcode.
We decided to delete their access entirely and reset the account. We’ve also ghosted any messages/calls that have followed and I’m considering just cutting off contact for awhile.
AITA here? I don’t have experience parenting adult kids, but I’m at the end of my rope.
submitted by Bac0nFr0mTh3Grav3 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Recently, I’ve started to become resentful towards my parents for their, what feels like, disinterest in me and my family.
We live roughly 45 minutes from my parents and used to make an effort to go visit at least once a week. My parents, on the other hand, rarely come to our house and, when they do, they stay for an almost offensively short period of time (usually just long enough to finish eating).
They don’t seem to want to really be around our kids. They are often “busy” when opportunities come up for them to attend ball games or school events; it’s very rare that they will ever commit to a sleep over or watching the kids even for a few hours. This is especially hurtful to my wife because when my brother and his family are in town (they live about 5 hours away), my parents bend over backwards to spend every second with them, taking PTO, taking them out to eat, offering to keep my nephew overnight. While I get taking advantage of the time they have due to distance, we are often left out of plans or notified as an afterthought.
I’ve expressed my feelings before about their favoritism of my brother’s family. This led to a full discussion on how they’ve “never had to worry about me” and that I’m very responsible unlike my brother and his wife. My parents claim I’ve always been independent, and my brother simply needs more of their attention because they are afraid my nephew isn’t going to turn out (he has some anger issues and has been kicked out of multiple daycares).
Ultimately, I felt like they were just patronizing me and feeding excuses to lessen my frustration. I feel like my kids deserve better and will one day see the same disparity I see between the love/attention they get vs. their cousin.
This morning things escalated because my dad texted my wife before she was even out of bed to ask for the Hulu password (they use our account). The last time he reached out was on her birthday which highlighted the fact that he only messaged because he wanted something. We later found out it was because they are watching my nephew for my brother.
When we didn’t respond immediately, he went through an old email, reset the password, and then locked the kids’ profile with a passcode.
We decided to delete their access entirely and reset the account. We’ve also ghosted any messages/calls that have followed and I’m considering just cutting off contact for awhile.
AITA here? I don’t have experience parenting adult kids, but I’m at the end of my rope.
2023.05.30 06:27 kak2m4 Am I just destined to be unhappy?
I beg for kindness. I've been in a dark place for a long time.
TL;DR: Promotions at work over the years + being an individual contributor on the team has led to my 3rd (and worst) burnout at the same company over the course of about 11 years. I feel unhappy with every role change for different reasons. What can I do to accept being overwhelmed at work with the volume of work expected and stress with what I'm doing? Will I just always be unhappy no matter what?
If youre still here, this is super long, so please bear with me. It all leads to my question at the end. I have an MSW. I graduated back in 2012 and couldn't find a job since I didn't have post grad work experience. I took the first job I was interviewed for and offered - at a temp healthcare staffing company. I started in August 2012 as a Recruiter...then less than a year later, all within 2 months of each other, 3 of the 5 of the team members left. I took on more work willingly, but my role changed since I was promoted, etc. Additional duties included a phone sales kind of role which I hated, since I'm an introvert, plus I was managing people while being an individual contributor on the team with screening and hiring temps. We had a huge project May-August 2014 where I worked all the time and was on-call for the Temps I'd hired 24/7. I was burnt out by August 2014. I got an opportunity to switch roles at the same company as a Contracts administrator in August 2014. I switched and have been in the same department since, save for a brief hiatus at the end of 2021. In this role, I put together our company contract template for clients, reviewed and negotiated terms to Client agreements, etc. It was more analytical and not at all sales-y which was perfect for me. As time went on, my original Manager left, and she was replaced by the Assistant Manager at the time (who is now over me and a bunch of other people). She's still my boss to this day, and you cannot find a better boss. She's wonderful, supportive, fights for her team, she's easy to talk to, great to work for. She and I are very close. She is also my opposite - she's very extroverted, outspoken, and quick to think on her feet. She handles things being thrown on her plate with grace, although she may complain to me privately. 😉 COVID hit our company HARD - but in a good way. We grew exponentially due to helping staff soooo many nurses throughout the country. Things also changed drastically. 3 of the 4 of our executives - who I was close to and worked closely with - left, and they were replaced by baby VPs so that our executive team dynamic changed a lot. Now, the days of being able to review and negotiate contracts are gone (the goal is to sign sign sign so the salespeople can close their sales), as is the support we received at the exec level. Since COVID, we've been so much more busy, to the point that I have been overwhelmed at my job since sometime in 2020. I would regularly work 8a-9p, weekends, holidays. I would break down in tears regularly also. I crashed and burned in Oct and Nov 2021. I decided I wanted a complete career change, so I landed a job at an ABA clinic working with autistic kids and studied for and obtained an RBT certification. I resigned from my job in Contracts, although they begged me to stay. They offered me a promotion and more money, and they offered for me to take the last couple of months of the year off paid, but I was tired of always being super stressed and having no support from the execs, who we work very closely with. When I say no support, I mean nonresponsive to emails, requests for help, lack of knowledge and accountability, never being available etc. (When COVID hit all the executives were allowed to work completely remotely, and most of them moved out of state.) After I resigned, I started working at the ABA clinic, BUT - within 2 weeks I realized I hated it. I liked the kids, but the job was so monotonous and did not challenge my brain enough to keep me interested. I had to be over the top enthusiastic and extroverted with the kids which was draining to me. I also had no flexibility whatsoever- if my kid was sick, my husband had to be the one to work at home and I realized I'd never be able to get off work to attend any of her school functions, which is very important to me. I let the ABA clinic know that I was sorry, but the job was not the right fit. I also asked my old boss if I could possibly come back. She told me in confidence that the executives had a meeting and agreed they needed to be more supportive to our department and be available, so that made it more positive to go back. I'd also have occasional remote work flexibility, able to attend kid's school stuff, and I could use my brain. It just seemed like the grass was greener on that side. I was welcomed back with the promotion and pay raise offered when I'd resigned. Well...since I returned at the beginning of 2022, I've managed a team of 5. I remain an individual contributor on the team as well, so I do the same job as several others + Manager duties, tons of meetings, etc. If COVID seemed bad, how I feel now is no comparison. I need about 16 hours in each workday to get done everything I need to do in between meetings now. I have started having to work most nights from about 10pm-1am just to keep up with my day to day stuff. As a disclaimer, I don't like working outside of work hours when my kid is around. I get too focused and I'm only half focused on her, and I get grouchy due to stress. I still break down in tears regularly, but usually on the way home from work. When I walk up to the building each morning, I feel like a heavy weight settles on my chest and I have to mentally prepare myself for the crap I'm going to have to deal with that day. I work with a lot of salespeople now, and I hate being a prime factor in them closing their sale (because they promise the client they'll get a contract over to them same day). When I can sleep at night, I've started having nightmares about work, where I freak out because I forgot something and wake up panicked. There are days I just want to get up from my desk chair, walk out, and never return. I also had something personal happen in my family in December that has affected my mental health drastically. I did seek therapy for a while for it, but I just didn't have the time to spend a couple of hours in session each week or text with my therapist....it became something else I fell behind on which made things worse for me, so I terminated the relationship. I did talk to my wonderful boss about how I feel overwhelmed all the time, and she wants to keep me, so we set a plan in motion to restructure duties in our department. It's been needed for a long time anyway. We'd talked about it in 2022 but didn't follow through with it. But now, I don't know if I'll be happy JUST managing people! OH MY GOODNESS....ALL of that to say...am I just destined to be unhappy, no matter what my job is? What in the heck is wrong with me? Why do I let the work stress get to me so badly? I know everyone has stress about work, how do you not want to leave your jobs and find something different? How can I do better?
submitted by kak2m4 to careerguidance [link] [comments]
TL;DR: Promotions at work over the years + being an individual contributor on the team has led to my 3rd (and worst) burnout at the same company over the course of about 11 years. I feel unhappy with every role change for different reasons. What can I do to accept being overwhelmed at work with the volume of work expected and stress with what I'm doing? Will I just always be unhappy no matter what?
If youre still here, this is super long, so please bear with me. It all leads to my question at the end. I have an MSW. I graduated back in 2012 and couldn't find a job since I didn't have post grad work experience. I took the first job I was interviewed for and offered - at a temp healthcare staffing company. I started in August 2012 as a Recruiter...then less than a year later, all within 2 months of each other, 3 of the 5 of the team members left. I took on more work willingly, but my role changed since I was promoted, etc. Additional duties included a phone sales kind of role which I hated, since I'm an introvert, plus I was managing people while being an individual contributor on the team with screening and hiring temps. We had a huge project May-August 2014 where I worked all the time and was on-call for the Temps I'd hired 24/7. I was burnt out by August 2014. I got an opportunity to switch roles at the same company as a Contracts administrator in August 2014. I switched and have been in the same department since, save for a brief hiatus at the end of 2021. In this role, I put together our company contract template for clients, reviewed and negotiated terms to Client agreements, etc. It was more analytical and not at all sales-y which was perfect for me. As time went on, my original Manager left, and she was replaced by the Assistant Manager at the time (who is now over me and a bunch of other people). She's still my boss to this day, and you cannot find a better boss. She's wonderful, supportive, fights for her team, she's easy to talk to, great to work for. She and I are very close. She is also my opposite - she's very extroverted, outspoken, and quick to think on her feet. She handles things being thrown on her plate with grace, although she may complain to me privately. 😉 COVID hit our company HARD - but in a good way. We grew exponentially due to helping staff soooo many nurses throughout the country. Things also changed drastically. 3 of the 4 of our executives - who I was close to and worked closely with - left, and they were replaced by baby VPs so that our executive team dynamic changed a lot. Now, the days of being able to review and negotiate contracts are gone (the goal is to sign sign sign so the salespeople can close their sales), as is the support we received at the exec level. Since COVID, we've been so much more busy, to the point that I have been overwhelmed at my job since sometime in 2020. I would regularly work 8a-9p, weekends, holidays. I would break down in tears regularly also. I crashed and burned in Oct and Nov 2021. I decided I wanted a complete career change, so I landed a job at an ABA clinic working with autistic kids and studied for and obtained an RBT certification. I resigned from my job in Contracts, although they begged me to stay. They offered me a promotion and more money, and they offered for me to take the last couple of months of the year off paid, but I was tired of always being super stressed and having no support from the execs, who we work very closely with. When I say no support, I mean nonresponsive to emails, requests for help, lack of knowledge and accountability, never being available etc. (When COVID hit all the executives were allowed to work completely remotely, and most of them moved out of state.) After I resigned, I started working at the ABA clinic, BUT - within 2 weeks I realized I hated it. I liked the kids, but the job was so monotonous and did not challenge my brain enough to keep me interested. I had to be over the top enthusiastic and extroverted with the kids which was draining to me. I also had no flexibility whatsoever- if my kid was sick, my husband had to be the one to work at home and I realized I'd never be able to get off work to attend any of her school functions, which is very important to me. I let the ABA clinic know that I was sorry, but the job was not the right fit. I also asked my old boss if I could possibly come back. She told me in confidence that the executives had a meeting and agreed they needed to be more supportive to our department and be available, so that made it more positive to go back. I'd also have occasional remote work flexibility, able to attend kid's school stuff, and I could use my brain. It just seemed like the grass was greener on that side. I was welcomed back with the promotion and pay raise offered when I'd resigned. Well...since I returned at the beginning of 2022, I've managed a team of 5. I remain an individual contributor on the team as well, so I do the same job as several others + Manager duties, tons of meetings, etc. If COVID seemed bad, how I feel now is no comparison. I need about 16 hours in each workday to get done everything I need to do in between meetings now. I have started having to work most nights from about 10pm-1am just to keep up with my day to day stuff. As a disclaimer, I don't like working outside of work hours when my kid is around. I get too focused and I'm only half focused on her, and I get grouchy due to stress. I still break down in tears regularly, but usually on the way home from work. When I walk up to the building each morning, I feel like a heavy weight settles on my chest and I have to mentally prepare myself for the crap I'm going to have to deal with that day. I work with a lot of salespeople now, and I hate being a prime factor in them closing their sale (because they promise the client they'll get a contract over to them same day). When I can sleep at night, I've started having nightmares about work, where I freak out because I forgot something and wake up panicked. There are days I just want to get up from my desk chair, walk out, and never return. I also had something personal happen in my family in December that has affected my mental health drastically. I did seek therapy for a while for it, but I just didn't have the time to spend a couple of hours in session each week or text with my therapist....it became something else I fell behind on which made things worse for me, so I terminated the relationship. I did talk to my wonderful boss about how I feel overwhelmed all the time, and she wants to keep me, so we set a plan in motion to restructure duties in our department. It's been needed for a long time anyway. We'd talked about it in 2022 but didn't follow through with it. But now, I don't know if I'll be happy JUST managing people! OH MY GOODNESS....ALL of that to say...am I just destined to be unhappy, no matter what my job is? What in the heck is wrong with me? Why do I let the work stress get to me so badly? I know everyone has stress about work, how do you not want to leave your jobs and find something different? How can I do better?
2023.05.30 06:26 No-Meal-6666 Whoop Pro Membership Mid Annual
If I join Whoop Pro middle of my annual membership, I'm committed to paying the prorated price for the rest of the mo. for the additional Whoop Pro. It seems like the perk is that they send a free item every three months. Does that mean there are specific times within the year to maximize my 4 items for the year? My membership started within last mo.
submitted by No-Meal-6666 to whoop [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 06:24 TaintedView90 Starting b2b consulting
Hey, just wanted to get your input fellow entrepreneurs.
Last week I quit my old venture, in short, a small market, full of people without money and any interest to change.
Thinking back, one of my passion was always understanding how business works and what levers to use to scale it. Thus I decided to go after b2b companies and help them scale.
Now before I go and start calling all the b2b company owners out there, I wanted to hear your input and experience.
If I were to help you scale your operation, on the premise that you don't pay me until you see new deals coming in, would that be something of interest?
Would you discuss your financials and key aspects of your business to a stranger on the phone?
submitted by TaintedView90 to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]
Last week I quit my old venture, in short, a small market, full of people without money and any interest to change.
Thinking back, one of my passion was always understanding how business works and what levers to use to scale it. Thus I decided to go after b2b companies and help them scale.
Now before I go and start calling all the b2b company owners out there, I wanted to hear your input and experience.
If I were to help you scale your operation, on the premise that you don't pay me until you see new deals coming in, would that be something of interest?
Would you discuss your financials and key aspects of your business to a stranger on the phone?
2023.05.30 06:22 backupburner-one Just so alone lately (long post)
Hi, so...
I'm gonna talk a lot. It took me an hour to type this on my phone, apparently... 😅 But, if you just want the meat of my rant, skip to the very bottom, the "where life has me now" part. Or, better yet:
TL;DR - I have no friends anymore, my ex was my best friend and now I have no one. I've had a rough few weeks what with everything that's gone wrong (one after the other, thanks 2023), and I just don't have anyone to process it with. I miss my best friend...
We were both friendly with this guy we knew from community theater. She got close to him almost a year ago, they started seeing each other. Grew feels. We were poly so I was excited for her. Yay!
She started pulling away from my touch, trying to avoid contact with me so as not to upset her new boyfriend. Uhh... anyway, he was constantly busy and never had time to chat with me, and then she at one point asked if I would even care if she broke up with me. Obviously, lol, why wouldn't I be upset about it? Of course I would care!
We kept fighting over little things more and more for the next month, until I snapped and suggested we break up since she seems so sure I'm awful now.
When we talked about it a few days later, she said she's ready to be done with me, doesn't think she'll ever feel romantic for me again, didn't want to even try couple's therapy (unless it was necessary to salvage our friendship), and that she had these issues with me for years so it's not even new. (My takeaway from this is that she was convincing herself that I was worse than she remembered in order to feel less shitty about breaking up with me for her new boy.)
She had said when/before we broke up that she would take a break from her new boy too. Naturally once we broke up, she changed it to "just a break" with me, but no break with him, because "that wouldn't be fair to him" and "the heart wants what it wants".
Whatever... I still held out hope.
She continued to see him, sometimes 2 days out of the week, sometimes 6 days of the week. I kept making dinner and hung out with her two kids (13 and 15). Oh, I forgot to mention that I work full time and am also in college classes nearly full-time, so I'm always busy with homework too. No matter. The point here is that she's not around much, which is fine but feels like a lot at times.
I did reach out to her a few times after two months, asking to get some time with her, check in, hang out, whatever. She kept having plans already, so I'd shoot for a week or two out. She'd halfway make plans, then the conversation would die. When it would come around, she would blow me off, "oh they needed me for a few extra hours at church, sorry!". (I believe her, but it's clear I ranked lower in priority than anything). Other times she "could be home after lunch, which happens at 11"... but then "after" was apparently 5pm. (She goes to bed around 7:30, and doesn't usually want to do anything this late in the day.) After a few tries like this, I gave up.
I finally asked her if we were done. I wanted to have the conversation in a park or restaurant or something... she refused and instead we had it with her sitting in bed with her PJs on, practically hiding under the covers. I told her I had about 40% desire left to see us fix things, that it has been dwindling since she keeps acting like I'm a stranger, but there's still hope. She just repeated that she doesn't see us ever being romantic again, so when I asked her to put it to a number, she said 0%.
So, that's it. Done.
We split the room up a little... I now have a cot in here, so we sleep separately. For the most part we do okay as roommates I suppose, but it's still awkward as fuck living with my ex. I still consider the kids mine too, but it feels weird when they're all hanging out together. I guess it should, though. Hrm.
Anyway.
The kids are teenagers. I still feel familial with them, but there's always been a little bit of step distance between us. One of them just came out as trans.
My bathroom skylight has a hole in it. First people I brought out tried hard-selling me a whole new roof. Yeah, that shit was a horrible experience. Anyway, next guy who came out just quoted me for a skylight. Pfft. It's always something though right?
My old car has been leaking everywhere for the last few months, and finally stopped starting (intermittently). I suspect it's a head gasket, but I'm not a mechanic so idk. I've been considering car shopping anyway, so maybe now is the time, especially since the mechanics looking at my car have pointed out two sensors to start troubleshooting with for $580, and aren't sure if that's the fix. That's a little expensive for troubleshooting what could be a head gasket... so, cue car shopping under duress.
We talked with a lawyer this week about the house and splitting the equity on sale when she moves out, because again, she doesn't want to move (because of the kids), and I do. That turned into an argument where she thinks I'm the bad guy trying to evict her kids because I won't accept so little, and me standing my ground saying I deserve more than just what the current equity is right now because at minimum I should get interest on it since I'm unable to touch this money for 4 years (per the current plan), much like a loan.
Anyway, we talk and eventually she cools down. She lets me borrow the car for the weekend at least while she's camping with her boyfriend. Cool.
I realize I picked too high of a monthly commitment for the car I want, so I spent the long weekend re-budgeting to see what I can afford, and where I need to cut back on my spending.
I've been looking at cars and shooting a few to a coworker friend and an old friend who is also going through a divorce that I chat with sometimes. Both respond here and there but aren't engaged with helping me. I don't blame them, they have lives too, but it leaves me feeling like I'm on my own here. Fine, I can't expect people to help me make financial decisions anyway.
Go to the dealership by myself this evening... The dude I work with... It feels like he's misread me, like he thinks I want some hot new car, rather than something functional and cheap. He seems to be annoyed that I'm taking my time to look at things, and didn't fall for his lease pitch. We bargain, I get some good numbers, so it was all around fine... but it's clear we both want to be done with each other for the day. He mentions they're closing up shop, I take my leave to think about it for a day.
Anyway. Now I'm home again. On my cot.
I just want to decompress and process my day with someone, but I just don't have anyone to talk to. I mean, there's people I can talk to but goddamn I don't feel like I have anyone I can just level with, at least not when I need them.
Goddamn I feel so alone.
I lost my best friend, and the shell of her is sleeping one bed away from mine.
I... and, maybe I should get out more, but first I need a car, and my house fixed, and free time separate from school, and not worry about coming to an agreement with the house, and maybe it would be nice to have moved out so I can finally mentally move on.... Maybe then I'll have free time for making new friends. Idfk. Is this just another excuse? Am I just not a social person, and now I'm suffering for it during my most challenging period of life?
I hate this.
submitted by backupburner-one to Divorce [link] [comments]
I'm gonna talk a lot. It took me an hour to type this on my phone, apparently... 😅 But, if you just want the meat of my rant, skip to the very bottom, the "where life has me now" part. Or, better yet:
TL;DR - I have no friends anymore, my ex was my best friend and now I have no one. I've had a rough few weeks what with everything that's gone wrong (one after the other, thanks 2023), and I just don't have anyone to process it with. I miss my best friend...
Backstory, I guess
I was in a poly relationship for 7 years with this girl. Primary partner. She sometimes had other boyfriends but none ever stuck. I saw a few other people too but never even got to the point of calling it another date. It worked out more like we were open/ENM rather than poly, but anyway, just setting up some color to the backstory. We were all but married, owned a house together, raising her step-kids together, got pets together... all that. "Married" but not married.We were both friendly with this guy we knew from community theater. She got close to him almost a year ago, they started seeing each other. Grew feels. We were poly so I was excited for her. Yay!
The decline...
After a few months, she reveals that he is monogamous. Ugh, not the first time she's dated a mono guy, but he wanted to chat with me and I did too, so I was hopeful we could understand each other better.She started pulling away from my touch, trying to avoid contact with me so as not to upset her new boyfriend. Uhh... anyway, he was constantly busy and never had time to chat with me, and then she at one point asked if I would even care if she broke up with me. Obviously, lol, why wouldn't I be upset about it? Of course I would care!
We kept fighting over little things more and more for the next month, until I snapped and suggested we break up since she seems so sure I'm awful now.
When we talked about it a few days later, she said she's ready to be done with me, doesn't think she'll ever feel romantic for me again, didn't want to even try couple's therapy (unless it was necessary to salvage our friendship), and that she had these issues with me for years so it's not even new. (My takeaway from this is that she was convincing herself that I was worse than she remembered in order to feel less shitty about breaking up with me for her new boy.)
She had said when/before we broke up that she would take a break from her new boy too. Naturally once we broke up, she changed it to "just a break" with me, but no break with him, because "that wouldn't be fair to him" and "the heart wants what it wants".
Whatever... I still held out hope.
The break
So, for the next four months, we still lived together. At first we were okay with sharing the bed and just made it a point to not touch. Sometimes we'd sleep on the couch but usually just split the bed.She continued to see him, sometimes 2 days out of the week, sometimes 6 days of the week. I kept making dinner and hung out with her two kids (13 and 15). Oh, I forgot to mention that I work full time and am also in college classes nearly full-time, so I'm always busy with homework too. No matter. The point here is that she's not around much, which is fine but feels like a lot at times.
I did reach out to her a few times after two months, asking to get some time with her, check in, hang out, whatever. She kept having plans already, so I'd shoot for a week or two out. She'd halfway make plans, then the conversation would die. When it would come around, she would blow me off, "oh they needed me for a few extra hours at church, sorry!". (I believe her, but it's clear I ranked lower in priority than anything). Other times she "could be home after lunch, which happens at 11"... but then "after" was apparently 5pm. (She goes to bed around 7:30, and doesn't usually want to do anything this late in the day.) After a few tries like this, I gave up.
I finally asked her if we were done. I wanted to have the conversation in a park or restaurant or something... she refused and instead we had it with her sitting in bed with her PJs on, practically hiding under the covers. I told her I had about 40% desire left to see us fix things, that it has been dwindling since she keeps acting like I'm a stranger, but there's still hope. She just repeated that she doesn't see us ever being romantic again, so when I asked her to put it to a number, she said 0%.
So, that's it. Done.
Moving forward...
That was about a month ago? We still live together while we work out the house. I want to move, and I'd rather sell altogether. She can't refinance to buy me out, but she wants to stay. Ugh... so we might work something out to where we split equity on sale later down the road.... that's a whole 'nother headache that I won't even get into just yet, because I've got other problems right now.We split the room up a little... I now have a cot in here, so we sleep separately. For the most part we do okay as roommates I suppose, but it's still awkward as fuck living with my ex. I still consider the kids mine too, but it feels weird when they're all hanging out together. I guess it should, though. Hrm.
Anyway.
Where life has me right now
I haven't been great about keeping in contact with friends. I was friends with her friends, though, but while we rarely see them anymore anyway, I feel like they're even more unavailable now. (She actually told them not to hate me on her behalf, that she still wants some friendliness between all of us... but, whatever. It's dead.) So, I'm alone.The kids are teenagers. I still feel familial with them, but there's always been a little bit of step distance between us. One of them just came out as trans.
My bathroom skylight has a hole in it. First people I brought out tried hard-selling me a whole new roof. Yeah, that shit was a horrible experience. Anyway, next guy who came out just quoted me for a skylight. Pfft. It's always something though right?
My old car has been leaking everywhere for the last few months, and finally stopped starting (intermittently). I suspect it's a head gasket, but I'm not a mechanic so idk. I've been considering car shopping anyway, so maybe now is the time, especially since the mechanics looking at my car have pointed out two sensors to start troubleshooting with for $580, and aren't sure if that's the fix. That's a little expensive for troubleshooting what could be a head gasket... so, cue car shopping under duress.
We talked with a lawyer this week about the house and splitting the equity on sale when she moves out, because again, she doesn't want to move (because of the kids), and I do. That turned into an argument where she thinks I'm the bad guy trying to evict her kids because I won't accept so little, and me standing my ground saying I deserve more than just what the current equity is right now because at minimum I should get interest on it since I'm unable to touch this money for 4 years (per the current plan), much like a loan.
Anyway, we talk and eventually she cools down. She lets me borrow the car for the weekend at least while she's camping with her boyfriend. Cool.
I realize I picked too high of a monthly commitment for the car I want, so I spent the long weekend re-budgeting to see what I can afford, and where I need to cut back on my spending.
I've been looking at cars and shooting a few to a coworker friend and an old friend who is also going through a divorce that I chat with sometimes. Both respond here and there but aren't engaged with helping me. I don't blame them, they have lives too, but it leaves me feeling like I'm on my own here. Fine, I can't expect people to help me make financial decisions anyway.
Go to the dealership by myself this evening... The dude I work with... It feels like he's misread me, like he thinks I want some hot new car, rather than something functional and cheap. He seems to be annoyed that I'm taking my time to look at things, and didn't fall for his lease pitch. We bargain, I get some good numbers, so it was all around fine... but it's clear we both want to be done with each other for the day. He mentions they're closing up shop, I take my leave to think about it for a day.
Anyway. Now I'm home again. On my cot.
I just want to decompress and process my day with someone, but I just don't have anyone to talk to. I mean, there's people I can talk to but goddamn I don't feel like I have anyone I can just level with, at least not when I need them.
Goddamn I feel so alone.
I lost my best friend, and the shell of her is sleeping one bed away from mine.
I... and, maybe I should get out more, but first I need a car, and my house fixed, and free time separate from school, and not worry about coming to an agreement with the house, and maybe it would be nice to have moved out so I can finally mentally move on.... Maybe then I'll have free time for making new friends. Idfk. Is this just another excuse? Am I just not a social person, and now I'm suffering for it during my most challenging period of life?
I hate this.
2023.05.30 06:21 StarSlayer666 The Reign of Fylkir Olaf II Fleming: The Rise of the Wolf Warriors (1114 - 1128)
 | In 1114, the situation in Scandinavia was drastically different from the situation in 1066. The Germanic forces rebelled against the teachings of Catholicism, and all the tribes of the peninsula submitted to a single power known as the Holy Fylkirate. This domain sought to maintain the ancient religion and eradicate the spread of Christianity that had established itself in the region. submitted by StarSlayer666 to CrusaderKings [link] [comments] Fylkir Olaf II, with the epithet "the Unfortunate," ruled the Holy Fylkirate. He was a man of great wisdom and diverse talents, just like his father before him. His skill in battle and combat was unmatched, and he possessed mastery in intrigue and administration. Olaf II was the legitimate son of Fylkir Olaf I and his wife Margareta, chosen by the elders of the kingdom to succeed his father after his death in 1114. At the age of 42, he ascended to the throne and was crowned in the prosperous capital city of Hatuna, which had become the second wealthiest region under the direct administration of the Fylkir. Even before assuming the throne, Olaf II was renowned among his Norse companions as a prominent warrior, leading a fearsome group of fighters known as the Wolf Warriors or Úlfhéðnar. These fierce men and women fought with honor and sought recognition on the battlefield, embodying the ideals of courage and camaraderie. Inspired by Odin, the Father of All, they wore animal skins and wielded spears in personal combat. Before becoming Fylkir, Olaf II had already gained experience ruling as the king of Lapland and Finland for seven years under his father's mandate. However, upon assuming the Fylkirate, he transferred the realms of Lapland and Finland to his sister Ylva. In the early days of his reign, in 1115, the armies of the Holy Fylkirate set out on a march to the distant island of Kolguyev in the Arctic Sea with the intention of subjugating it. A castle was later built on the island. In 1118, Olaf II appointed his half-sister Ylva as the new queen of Norway, ordering all feudal lords of the land to recognize her as their suzerain. Fylkir Olaf II continued to uphold the Nordic traditions of raids and adventures. He ventured into distant lands in search of glory and plunder, constantly urged by his fellow Norsemen to explore even more distant realms. During this period of Olaf II's reign, while peace reigned in the territory, the Fylkir harbored ambitions of expansion. The Catholic powers were busy mobilizing forces for the Crusades, paying little attention to the fall of the Catholic kingdoms in Scandinavia. Meanwhile, the Muslims were engaged in their own considerable holy wars. In response to the growing Crusades and Jihads among the Abrahamic monotheists, the Great Fylkir Olaf II shared his grand plans for a magnificent Germanic pagan response with the Germanic priests. This marked the potential beginning of an unprecedented pagan aggression. In the latter part of 1119, the Fylkir passed a law allowing him to freely revoke the titles of those deemed infidels, thus consolidating his religious control over his vassals. In February of the following year, the royal concubine Alfhild was discovered being unfaithful to the Fylkir. As punishment, she was imprisoned and met her fate being burned alive on a stake. In 1120, the Fylkir declared war on King Boleslaw III of Poland, claiming the County of Mecklenburg in Pomerania. As the Polish king was preoccupied with a war against the Holy Roman Emperor, aiming to depose his antipope, the armies of the Fylkirate encountered little resistance as they marched through the Polish counties of Mecklenburg, Werle, and Rostock. However, in 1122, a force of 3,000 Poles confronted the Nordic army of 15,000 men in the Massacre of Gevezin, resulting in a decisive victory for the Norse. During this conflict, a dozen Polish nobles were sacrificed in the name of Odin. A peace agreement was quickly reached, leading to the annexation of the County of Mecklenburg by the Holy Fylkirate. Subsequently, the territory was granted to the Mercantile Republic of Denmark. In 1124, the Fylkir launched an invasion of the County of Osraige in Ireland, aiming to establish a strategic base for future raids. The invasion was swift, and the forces of Lord Fedach of Osraige offered little resistance. From 1125 to 1128, an army of 30,000 Nordic warriors from the Holy Fylkirate traversed Ireland, gaining control over most of the independent counties of the island. In the war against the King of Munster, Queen Effie of Scotland strove to defend her Catholic allies but was captured in battle by the Fylkir's troops and offered as a sacrifice to Odin. Meanwhile, in mid-1127, Fylkir Olaf II, now 56 years old, embarked on a perilous journey through the lands of the Holy Roman Empire. His goal was to face in duels the fiercest and most skilled warriors that the vast empire could offer. For several months, the Fylkir ventured through the Holy Roman Empire, engaging in duels with the most feared and proficient swordsmen of the region, suffering grave injuries in the process. However, upon completing his journey, he emerged triumphant, having overcome all those who opposed him. Upon returning to Uppland in January 1128, warriors and common folk reverently bowed upon witnessing the Fylkir's return. A woman even fainted upon seeing Olaf II and his retinue passing by. The entire palace was adorned with festive banners, and his daughter-in-law (and lover), a woman named Esin, welcomed him with a smile. She exclaimed, "Bards will sing of your conquests for generations! Rumors speak of your victory over an army of a hundred men and wild deer?! We have heard stories of your capture and..." Her words trailed off, and she concluded, "My Lord, welcome back." From a deeper chamber of the palace, the Wolf Warriors chanted a stirring battle song, its melody inviting him to join the celebration. And so, they celebrated for several days. In early April of the year 1128, the Fylkir succumbed to the wounds acquired during his arduous journey and ascended to join the gods in the halls of Valhalla. He left behind his 26-year-old son, Olaf III, to assume the mantle of Fylkir. Olaf II Fleming, who had once been known as "the Unfortunate," came to be called "the Sacred." Although his tenure as Fylkir lasted only 14 years, he left an indelible mark as one of the greatest leaders of the Wolf Warriors and as a prominent military strategist and duelist of his time. the Sacred Fylkirate at 1128 |