We're familiar with bad games, and Senran Kagura is one of them. If anyone doesn't know what Senran Kagura is, it's the real deal, it sucks. Oh god it sucks! It's a rip off of Dynasty Warriors, and not even a good one at that, too. The story is shit, the graphics is shit, the gameplay, despite ripping off a clearly superior game, somehow manages to be shit.   So now that we got that out of the way, we have a whole subreddit for that. /SenranKaguraLovers is the de facto official subreddit for Senran Kagura players. That's right, some people saw a game with nothing but fanservice, and decided to be fans of it, which leads to the Seinfeldian question: Who are these people?   Here is a fairly recent example of the type of art that gets posted there. Notice the unrealistic bodies in there and the way the left girl's spine seems to twist in an unnatural way. There is no other way to describe the artstyle besides...well..incelarts.   I should also mention they're underaged, too.   It's not just fanart, it's also cosplay. Yeah, cool concept for a character, Playboy Bunny but with swords. How the fuck did we go from cool character designs like this to basically Playboy Bunnies? What were they thinking?   Here's a thread for a video about Marvelous and their upcoming games, and their only complaint is that there are no new Senran Kagura games. Gee, it's almost like no one likes Senran Kagura, that's why the franchise failed. There's about 1,974 subs to that subreddit, there is no way that Senran Kagura is gonna survive at all. Contrast that with us at over 61,000, there's way more people that hate Senran Kagura than there are people who like it.   So there you have it, a den full of weeb incels, complete with incel artwork, grifters, and incels crying over a failed franchise which is so hated in the gaming community that even the publishers of Senran Kagura wants to bury the series forever.   What a terrible night to be Senran Kagura.

Got this part finished! It took some doin, but I got there. Anyway, let me know what you guys think, and I hope you enjoy. I'm not very good at these intros.
First / Prev / Next (Coming eventually)
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“-ck.”
David’s apartment wasn’t overly furnished to begin with. He lived with the bare essentials that came with state housing, but the fiks decided to make it more homy. Their idea of a home was converting it into a flophouse. Beds, cots, and pallets soon spread out along the walls while boxes and crates soon took up residence in the middle of the room. His coffee table, end tables, and small dining set were conspicuously absent.
He stared slack-jawed for a moment before a crash sounded from his kitchen. “Saa! No food!”
“Lie! How can human starve?” After a brief pause, “Saa! No food!"
David was about to investigate when a short…well, relatively short fik stood in his way. “Ah, David! Yes, yes, we come as soon as we could.” He was just a few inches taller than David and wearing more ornate garb. About as ornate as something stolen from a seamstress’ dumpster. He was also an albino. That was important to fiks, right?
“Am Wesh. Clan Ermin.” That sounded important, alright.
“Ermin? Are you the one in charge here? Tell them to stop ripping up my-“
Another clatter sounded from the kitchen. “Look, look! Hidden door!” Oh right, the pantry. Great. Now they’re in his walls.
With a content smile the Ermin said, “Yes, this will be good den. The wise clan lives close.” He illustrated his point by interlacing his fingers. “Builds strong bonds. And now with human! Wise human no less!”
“Wise? Look man, if I was wise, I’d be doing better than I am. Now, will you tell them-“
“Bah! Yes, human wise…Maybe David does not see. Or hear. Wesh hears wisdom you recite.”
“…You could hear me in the shower?” he asked sheepishly.
“Saaaaa. Yes. David sings song of fik! Sings of fik’s struggle in new world. About lies and hate fik suffer. But our fighter spirit keeps us going. Keeps us strong. You sing such wisdom without knowing?” He placed his hands on David’s shoulders, “Fear not! Wesh will hear and speak David’s wisdom. Even if David cannot see.” With a pat on the shoulder the albino shuffled away to the warriors who seemed at odds over sleeping arrangements.
“I guess it’s good to know they like Simon and Garfunkel.” He mumbled to himself. David summoned his courage to finally investigate what was happening in his kitchen when the door chimed, and the apartment went abruptly silent.
*****
Sarif didn’t need a canid nose to know something was off. The various tables and bits of broken furniture stacked up beside the building leading a trail of dust and debris to David’s door was a decent tip off. Another would be the small din coming from the building. Sure, any tenant could be having company over making a decent noise, but they wouldn’t stop after pressing David’s chime. But of course, she could also smell the small number of people who’ve passed by recently. It didn’t seem likely David would give up being a recluse overnight. What worried her was the smell of his pursuers from last night.
After a moment of silence, Sarif pounded on the door as a bit of anxiety seeped into her mind.
“Who’s there?” called David.
She let go of a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “It’s me. I’ve come to check on you, and…And apologize.” She struggled to get the last word out.
After a brief pause the door slid partially open revealing David’s suspicious expression. “Apologize?”
“Yes…Who’s in there with you?” She looked above him, but no one was in view. The place looked like a mess.
“Just, uh…Just some friends. Could you maybe come back another time? Now’s a bit…Busy.”
She quirked an eyebrow. “Please let me in. It’s-“ She caught herself before saying ‘my job’ “Important to me that I know you’re safe.”
With a grimace David looked back into his apartment before relenting and opening the door. Her eyes quickly scanned the room looking for the intruders as she stepped through the threshold. The fiks were hiding in the doorways to the kitchen and bedroom. She caught sight of the impromptu bedding and realized this was an infestation.
She took a couple strides to put herself between as many of them and David as she could. “David, what are they doing here?” she demanded in a hoarse whisper. “They were the ones chasing you last night. You’re letting them move in?”
“I’m not letting them do anything.” He replied as hushed as he could. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m a bit on the short side. When someone twice my height wants to do something there’s not much I can do about it.”
Her eyes narrowed as she looked over her shoulder before leaning down and whispering in his ear, “Do you need me to get rid of them? If you feel in danger I’ll-“
“No! No. They’re fine. Just a bit…excited? Eager?” He sighed, “Look…Last night was a bit of a misunderstanding. I didn’t know all of this was happening until a few minutes ago. It’ll sort itself out.”
“You can’t let these people stay here. It’s not safe. They’re…”
It was David’s turn to squint, “They’re what?”
“You know.”
“No, I don’t. Enlighten me.”
“They’re dangerous. They steal, they’re violent-“
“Violent? Violent? Everyone in this galaxy is violent. So far, they haven’t stolen anything, and have been polite with everything I’ve asked. Meanwhile the other high and mighty races have done their very best to make my life a living Hell. They haven’t beaten me. They haven’t starved me! They haven’t shoved shit in me without my consent like those fucking snakes or big fuckers did!” David shouted while pointing to the scar behind his ear. He realized he was shouting and leaned around Sarif to see a dozen or so eyes staring at the two.
Sarif closed her eyes and took a breath. “Look, I…I’m sorry. I’m sure they’re fine. I just…” She looked up and around, searching for the words. “I’m trying my best to keep you safe. I really am. Sometimes that…Sometimes that makes me come off a little harsh. You know the galaxy isn’t a nice place. So do I. I tend to see the worst in people.” She looked down into his eyes, “Will you meet me halfway? Help me, help you? I just want to help you however I can.”
The tension left David as he sighed and rubbed his forehead. He opened his mouth to speak when there came a rough knock at the door.
*****
Hilda took a seat at the bar in the Aimless Wind Café. It had mostly emptied out as the breakfast rush died down. She perused the menu on her comm then checked for any upcoming entertainment. Looks like authentic human music was a random flash promotion. After a brief wait, a black furred felinoid walked up behind the counter.
“Can I get you anything?”
“Yeah, I’ll take a tea and is the owner in today?”
She looked the taurian up and down before replying, “Sure. I’ll go grab him.” With that she disappeared into the back. A few minutes passed as Hilda looked around the restaurant. It wasn’t small exactly. The bar and stage took up a good portion of the room, but judging by the tables the place could seat just over fifty patrons.
“Well, if it isn’t our resident human wrangler. A bit wilier than herding troqs, huh?”
Is my accent that bad? The man rose to eye-level on the hidden step that ran the length of the bar. He was dressed in more conservative clothing with a handkerchief tied around his nubs holding his hair back. While he readied the kettle and dug out a large earthenware cup, Hilda cleared her throat.
“We grew nist, but yeah. I’m here to-“
“Learn what you can about our little music-man.” He set the cup down in front of Hilda and began wiping down the immaculate counter. “He’s been here a few times; engaging in his impromptu therapy sessions. Not much of a talker I’m afraid. What were you hoping to learn?”
Hilda went back and forth in her head about just how much she wanted to say, before deciding honesty would be best. “This is…only our second day with David. So far, we’ve only read his file, picked him up from the hospital, then chased him through half the station. We can’t get a word in edgewise because he doesn’t trust…Well, anyone. But, he kept coming here. I just want to see why. Maybe find something we can do to help him.”
The owner raised his eyebrows then leaned on the bar, “Well. I suppose things have nowhere to go but up, now. If you were looking for some great truth or revelation about David, I’m afraid I have none. All I can say is the man loves-no, needs to sing. I don’t know why. Maybe it distracts him from the here and now or takes him back to when life made more sense to him. Though, if I were to guess…I would say he probably always loved singing. Might well have been his drive before everything was stolen.”
She mulled that over. For someone without all the answers the man had a better bead on David than most of the evals in his file. “That’s as good a guess as any. I just don’t know what I can do with that Mr…”
“Rodrik, and it may be a bit selfish on my part, but it also may bring David a bit out of his shell. Maybe you and your partner could finally bring our bard to perform on that stage over there.” He pointed to the back corner. “I’m more than willing to accommodate whatever he needs.” Standing straight again he told her, “I’ll be here whenever if he decides to perform up there or in the back. I live on the floor above. For now, Shasa here will take care of you.”
Stepping back down, the man passed the felinoid and returned to the backroom. Hilda nursed her tea and thought when Shasa spoke. “I do hope you get him to perform again. I’m a bit of a fan now.”
Hilda eyed the woman. She realized her fur wasn’t solid black but covered in hazy, faint spots. A bit on the taller and bulkier side for felinoids she seemed a bit out of place, but she didn’t know why. “Have you spoken to David much?”
“Not as much as I’d like to. He’s adorably uncomfortable whenever anyone is…particularly friendly to him. But I do love a man with baggage. They melt in your hands once they’re comfortable around you. Lean on you for support. Oh, but you’re not here for that kind of advice. Or are you?” She smiled mischievously.
Squinting at the other woman, Hilda rose and paid her tab, “Thanks. I guess.” She left the café and headed for David’s apartment, learning all she could and a bit more besides. I’m gonna have to keep an eye out for that one.
*****
The room was silent for a beat before Sarif opened the door. She was staring at a leather clad chest before she craned her neck back and saw the single largest fik she had ever seen. I didn’t know they could get that big.
The fik woman seemed equally confused to see Sarif and looked past her to the other fiks approaching the door.
“Chief!” called a fik.
“Chief?” parroted David and Sarif in unison.
A grin split the chief’s lips as she bowled past Sarif and strode in to meet her clan.
“Hey! You can’t just barge in here!” cried Sarif as she rebounded off the wall and planted her paws.
“Why? Am chief. Chief can go anywhere.” The fik giant explained as if to a child. Ignoring the canid, the chief’s gaze wandered the apartment before settling on David, “You!” She took a couple quick strides before bending down and scooping David up in a bear hug.
Sarif launched herself with reckless abandon at the fik’s back with teeth and claws bared. The chief spun as she hauled David up throwing Sarif’s lunge off causing her to shoot past. She dug her claws in the floor and spun around. David was effectively a hostage and meat shield.
I’m gonna have to go low or else I’d rip David open with her. But what if she lands on him? That could be just as…Wait, what’s she saying?
The fik, seemingly oblivious to the attack was rocking David side to side saying, “So happy to finally find you! Humans so hard to find. Always hiding. Always running. But now I have you! You’ll be so safe and happy now!”
She blinked. That wasn’t quite what she expected, but violence still hadn’t been ruled out. She was plotting her next move when she noticed a sharp blade of some description enter her peripheral, threatening her to stay still. Right. The others.
Then the door opened.
*****
Hilda heard voices and a scuffle as she approached the door. Deciding she needed to get in there quickly she opened the door and stepped inside.
She didn’t know how to process what she was seeing. There were almost a dozen fiks around the redecorated room. One was just about her size, clutching a squirming David while another was holding a knife to Sarif who had murder in her eyes. And all eyes were on her.
The door slid shut behind her when she turned and glared at the big fik. “Put. Him. Down.”
A confused expression crossed her face. She looked down and saw the human struggling for air then released him. He dropped to the floor gasping for breath, bracing his hands on his thighs.
Her gaze settled on Sarif who was beginning to relax. “What happened?”
“These f-“ She glanced at David, “These people broke in and seem to be trying to move in.”
A white fik stepped forward, “There are lies! Fik was welcomed into new den. David is most gracious. Fik would not break anything!”
“I broke something!” Piped up a fik in the back.
“Silence!” the white fik yelled, spinning around.
“You about broke David’s spine!” Sarif growled and stalked up to the chief. “Where do you get off thinking you can just whip him around like that?”
She seemed unperturbed by the chastisement. “Human is fine. Sulta knows her own strength.” The argument carried on for another couple minutes when the door chimed again.
*****
That’s it! I’m ripping the chime off and bricking up the door! No more visitors! No more headaches! David had slipped out of the middle of the verbal clash in case it became more physical, but that put him closest to the door. With a roll of his eyes and a groan he answered it.
Standing in the doorway was a blue and red colored avian. It gave David a quick glance before handing him a slim paper package. “You must be David. Not a lot of humans running around here. Anyway, have a pleasant day!” he called before striding down the street.
David tried to get a question out but the avian’s long legs carried him away before David even knew what to ask. With a sigh he inspected the package. It was more like an old Earth manilla envelope, bulging with something weighty. It had his address and even a description of him, but no return address or even the name of the sender.
Frowning down at it he turned around and closed the door once again. Then looked up and realized he was once again the center of attention.
“Uh…You all keep doin…Whatever. I’m gonna go check my mail.” He shuffled along the wall until he entered his bedroom then shut the door. Thankfully he was alone.
He sat down in his desk chair by his comically oversized desk and pulled out the envelope’s contents. It held a pad and a card. He set the pad aside a read the card with someone’s face on it.
You are formally invited to attend the celebration of life/graveside service of Mortemer J. Albrecht.
A funeral? I don’t even know this guy. He quickly read the dates and brief life summary on the inside before setting it aside and powering on the pad. It blinked to life before displaying the front camera view. God, I look terrible.
It blinked a couple times before scanning his face, with special attention to the eyes. I wonder if I get to keep this thing. Passing whatever check, the pad displayed the directions to the desolate planet Mr. Albrecht was going to be buried on. It drew up a diagram of the landing zone, gravesite, and where the Guardians will wait.
Guardians? Plural? Realization dawned on him. Multiple humans in one place. They never did that. David never fully understood why. He missed that bit of collective trauma. In some instances, it made him feel more disconnected to humanity than he already was.
He continued reading the invitation. It seems Mr. Albracht wanted as close to a traditional funeral as he could have, but he had no surviving family. That’s where David and the other invited humans come in. He pondered his options. He really didn’t want to venture out. He didn’t want to meet people and see that all too familiar pity in their eyes. Especially other humans. He didn’t know if it’d be worse to see them looking as bad as himself or doing better.
On the other hand…He was lonely. It’d been so long since he’d spoken to another human. Another person with a shared background and experience. Someone who’d just understand. He thought about it for a minute before reaching a decision.
He opened the door, and it seemed everyone really went back to arguing and shouting.
“Hey!” Silence. “You.” He pointed at Ruk’sa, “Keep everyone from wreaking my apartment. You.” He pointed at Sarif, “Keep them from getting into trouble while I’m gone. You.” He pointed at Hilda, “Come here.” He stalked back into his room while everyone looked at each other.
Hilda followed him to his room. “Gone?”
David spun around and squinted at the towering taurian, “You and Sarif really want to help me?” She nodded immediately, “Then take me here.” He pointed at the uninhabited planet displayed on the pad.

God dammit don't you laugh at me!! I'm not laughing yes you are! Who am I laughing at me! It goes to you debit card directly it won't let us--- yeah and it's already out of my account and I can show you've taken my money! So you need to give me my cash and if I end up on youtube I will personally sue your ass! I'm just talking with-- give her back and giving her fucking me! I'll get you for laughing! I'm not laughing. Yes you are you want me to show you on my phone that you are! If we end up on youtube I will sue you. Im not putting it on youtube. Oh if it end up on Facebook, I will sue you! Yeah You because you can't record if you don't want to be recorded, and my eternity will love you! Don't laugh at me! I'm not I hope ya'll quit your fucking job cause ya'll need to! I don't care you should get you another job! What's your point? Whats your point! YOU NEED TO SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH AND STAY OUT OF IT YOU STUPID ASS BITCH! You should get yourself another job. A better job at being at 10$ an hour.

Hello everyone! I hope that you’re ready for another chapter of The Students! Before I get into that, though I wanted to thank u/winter-reigndeer694 for making this fantastic meme. It was exactly the response I was looking for when I wrote the chapter. This was also the first meme that someone has made of my fic. Thank you I really appreciate it. In other news, I had writer’s block so sorry if this sucks. I hope you enjoy and thank you to u/spacepaladin15 for the original story.
First Last Next
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Memory transcription subject: Gaerk, Krakotl Student
Date: [Standardized Human Time] August 28, 2142
Life was good. I had been in this apartment for about a week now, and I never thought that I would be this comfortable anywhere but home. Despite the fact that this was my first time away from home, surrounded by war vets that weren’t even on the same side, I was comfortable. Something, that when I told my parents about, they practically showered me with praise for doing as well as I was. Sure, I had my moments, like when I found out about that Arxur, the thing with my nest, and the party a couple of days ago. I shuddered when I thought about the party. The fact that that hulking human not only knew about my exploits but praised me for them was nothing short of a shock. It was also kind of motivating when I think about it. Other than those hiccups, life has been good. Even though we’re only a week or so into the semester, I feel confident that I can stay on top of everything and come out stronger because of it.
I shook myself out of my daydreams and focused back on the homework that I was doing. It was based on human programming languages, which was exciting for several reasons. I don’t know what it was about them, but they all seemed to flow like no other language that I had worked with before, and they were extremely intuitive. I relished the time that I had to learn about something that I’m passionate about. I was so engrossed in my project that I barely noticed Connor walk into the room carrying box that was large even for him. I tore myself away from my project long enough to see Connor opening it with a knife.
“Whacha got there?” I asked curiously.
Connor smiled as he opened the flaps of the cardboard box. “I got a package from home! There isn’t much mail service between here and Earth, but my mom cooked up a care package for me! I don’t even know what’s in here, but knowing my mom, it’ll be something good.”
My curiosity was piqued. What would a human mother send to her grown up hatchling? “Well, what’s in it?”
He started pulling various plastic wrapped things out of the box. The writing was in English, and I didn’t have my visual translator ready to go, so he just started rattling off the different things that came in the package. “Let’s see here, we got extra Double A batteries, a couple of flashlights, authentic vegan marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers for smores, mom’s homemade cookies (score! Mom’s recipe is the best!), a fifty credit gift card, and-“ He suddenly stopped and stared into the box.
“What is it? What did you get?”
“I fetching love my mom!” he practically shouted as he pulled a large black box with a handle attached to it out of the cardboard box and onto the table. He looked at me and his face fell a bit. “So, before I tell you what this is, I need to give you some context.”
I nodded my head. “Ok, why does it need context though?”
“Because it sounds horrible without context.” I shuddered involuntarily but got it under control and nodded for him to continue. He hesitated only for a moment before launching into his pitch. “So back in the 1980’s or something like that, there was a company named Games Workshop. Like the name suggests, they made, and still make, games. Those games happened to be tabletop war games.”
My feathers puffed up. “W-war games?”
“Yeah, the idea behind them was that they created a strategy game where you would command an army that would fight another army controlled by your opponent. And, of course because they wanted to sell more than plastic miniatures and paint, they also created lore for them that, quite honestly, is really messed up. When any alien besides an Arxur hears about the lore for the first time, they are usually horrified, and run out of the room before anyone can explain that the whole thing is satire, and many people consider it to be the worst-case scenario when it comes to our interactions with aliens. I just want to reiterate that this game is not how humanity feels about aliens, ok?”
I shuddered again despite his words. Only predators would love a game glorifying violence and war like this. “Why though?” I asked horror clear in my voice.
He shrugged. “I don’t know, why did the federation have a TV show glorifying the extermination of species that showed no threat to anyone? Arguably this is tame by comparison.” He said defensively as he finally opened the case and pulled out figure after figure of what I assumed were armor covered humans with massive pauldrons carrying flamethrowers. The green of the armor was a stark contrast from the pitch black of the case that it came in. As I got closer to look at them, I could see the individual brush marks on one of the miniatures.
“Wait, did you paint these yourself?” I asked.
He chuckled. “Yeah, I did. Back in the day, you had to paint each mini with painstaking detail. Nowadays though, you can usually just buy them prepainted, but it’s a rite of passage in the community to hand paint your first army.”
I gasped in wonderment as he continued to pull mini after mini out of the case until there was well over fifty minis sitting on the table. “What are these?”
He chuckled again. “They are called space marines, and they are kind of like the elite forces of humanity in the lore of the game. These ones are from a chapter of space marines called the Salamanders, and they are the closest thing that 40k has to good guys.”
“Oh, wow!” I said with equal parts amazement at the painting job and terror of what I was hearing.
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. I had a lot of time just doing nothing after I lost my arm, so I ended up getting into the extremely expensive hobby of painting miniatures like this and playing the game.”
I looked from the minis to him and then to the box. “Wait a second, there’s easily more room in that box than what you’ve shown me! What else do you have in there?”
“Well, right before I left for school here, I had another painting project that I was working on, and my mom packed it up in here too, along with the paints needed to paint the army.”
A thought came to my mind. “C-could I try and paint one?”
He smiled. “Sure! I’ll get you a reference sheet so that you can know what color to paint it!” With that, he pulled out a smaller figure holding a rifle and wearing a gas mask, along with some paint and pencil thin brushes. “Happy painting!”
This is the most fun I’ve had in a while! I thought to myself as I looked down at my claws to see them covered in paint. I looked back down at the model that I was obsessing over for the last three hours. “I think I’m finished!” I proudly exclaimed.
Connor leaned over to take stock of the state of the mini. “Dang dude! For the first time painting, you did really good!” I practically beamed with pride. There’s nothing that can tear me down from this high.
Suddenly, Spot walked into the apartment. He took one look at the mini, and immediately recognized it. “Dammit Connor, did you get him into Warhammer?”

my friend who I was dating but went to just saying friends today had this happen in a way where it led to me asking if she was aromantic based off what she was describing. she said no before immediately thinking for a moment and saying maybe. (I don’t know if she is on the spectrum of it, but that is for her to discover for herself and this is for me).
The response then led to me proceeding to realize if I was a-spec too despite having developed romantic feelings. but in wondering about me being demiromantic kind of way, or anything that sounds like it. if it is an a-spec thing. I feel heartbroken still, but understand. But it is the situation entering the relationship that makes me question being demi.
starting with the whole fact of going “yeah, I get it” when she told me when we first started finding the lines to different types of attraction to her (platonic, romantic, sexual) blurry.
i had asked confusion about platonic vs romantic attraction for a while, but I think what ultimately was what was confusing me was romantic interest vs romantic attraction. if that is a thing.
I never had a legitimate relationship except for a girl that I dated for 1 month who made me quickly regret it (she was being uncomfortable with the dynamics right away) and we broke up in less than that month. I figured that, though, was obvious as to why I was not upset. I wanted out immediately. It was ultimately because I was coming to terms with being a nonbinary trans guy and she was only into women, and tried to say i was the “woman” in the relationship. So… oof.
so regardless of all this, I know I am bisexual. but I think this was the point of confusion, and I want to clarify as much as could be if this is a 100% allo experience or, well, not
Looking back, I guess what ultimately was a huge question was if alloromantic people, if experiencing true romantic attraction, would be genuinely upset by a relationship starting being rejected.
Because, now I am thinking about it, is stuff that might be why I might have gotten confused by the last person where, when I asked him out, he delayed his answer after saying he would think about it. When he told me why he put it off, it was was worried about telling me no because of my birthday coming up and thinking I would be hurt by his rejection. Thus ruining my birthday.
I did not even think about that idea. I told him I would not have been, got kinda confused and frustrated why he put it off because of that, but also I did not understand why I would be that distressed.
it was not until being in an actual active relationship recently (both in early to mid twenties) did I really get the feeling of romantic attraction compared to platonic attraction.
Because now I realized it was because, when I told my friend that, that it was situations of rejections like these where people do feel distraught by no reciprocated desire. Which does ruin friendships.
Almost everyone I asked out in the past were friends. And in general, it would come with “I want to pursue a relationship with this person”. And it could be in my head for a while. This, I viewed was romantic attraction. Despite still feeling on a level confused by platonic vs romantic until this relationship.
As when I asked, and they said no, it was just a casual “oh, dang. alright”. And I never felt distressed by it. I never came in feeling what I did after being in an actual relationship.
No matter what, I guess it was always like giving an attractive stranger your number if they wanted to call you when in a coffee shop or bar or something. Even if, technically, people would expect that if they were a friend for a while and you wanted to become romantic then it would feel more personal.
Is this what being demi is? Is it why people would expect a rejection in a friendship to ruin it, but I just move on? Was this just romantic interest and was why I was not distraught by rejection? Ehy the difference between platonic vs romantic love stumped me sometimes still?
Did I separate it from platonic too much where there was still a reference point? Like conflating wanting to be friends and then actually being friends? I am not going into love ar first sight thing some people say because not even a lot of allos believe in it.
And also because I need to know; does this negate my bisexuality? Or no because I still had interest and still capable of getting flustered.
I do not know how to describe flustered in the way that it does not feel to be inherently romantic/sexual attraction but a response to approving of the expression of interest of it, or if it only sexual. Or could be either. Or both. Or if I already explained well enough.
i think this is relevant: can autism play a part and that’s all, or could it just be autism can potentially inform being a-spec or anything like that for some?

Everyone loves a good ETH burn right? Oh yeah, it’s awesome to see the price go parabolic as the supply slowly goes deflationary. However, I think long term, burning ETH isn’t the best way to go.
Something to think about is this; while anyone can spin up an Ethereum node so long as they have 32 ETH but there is no real practical way to actually earn more ETH. Most people don’t have 32 ETH, nor the technical ability to sufficiently run an Ethereum validator. So unfortunately, this leads to a world where Coinbase, LIDO and a few others earn a majority of the newly minted ETH.
On the surface, this doesn’t seem like too big of an issue, however, to me this mixed with deflationary burning of ETH seems to mean that the average Joe, using the network, is consistently burning a portion of their fees, while never earning any more back in any meaningful fashion without actively LPing (IL risk) or trading.
These types of economics and how validating works in practice, means that there are a few entities with the honor of earning new ETH, and the people using the network are simply burning ETH.
I believe better economic modeling exists. Rather than burning ETH fees, it would be great to implement a fee structure that rewards the actual smart contracts being used. Then a new use case could be that LP positions on Uniswap could earn UNI and the equivalent ETH usage fees that were directed back to the contract itself.
Do you prefer the ETH burn or would a model rewarding smart contract usage be a better way to distribute ETH back to the community? I prefer the latter, as it promotes decentralization of the network and promotes usage, much more than a burn mechanism.

Everyone loves a good ETH burn right? Oh yeah, it’s awesome to see the price go parabolic as the supply slowly goes deflationary. However, I think long term, burning ETH isn’t the best way to go.
Something to think about is this; while anyone can spin up an Ethereum node so long as they have 32 ETH but there is no real practical way to actually earn more ETH. Most people don’t have 32 ETH, nor the technical ability to sufficiently run an Ethereum validator. So unfortunately, this leads to a world where Coinbase, LIDO and a few others earn a majority of the newly minted ETH.
On the surface, this doesn’t seem like too big of an issue, however, to me this mixed with deflationary burning of ETH seems to mean that the average Joe, using the network, is consistently burning a portion of their fees, while never earning any more back in any meaningful fashion without actively LPing (IL risk) or trading.
These types of economics and how validating works in practice, means that there are a few entities with the honor of earning new ETH, and the people using the network are simply burning ETH.
I believe better economic modeling exists. Rather than burning ETH fees, it would be great to implement a fee structure that rewards the actual smart contracts being used. Then a new use case could be that LP positions on Uniswap could earn UNI and the equivalent ETH usage fees that were directed back to the contract itself.
Do you prefer the ETH burn or would a model rewarding smart contract usage be a better way to distribute ETH back to the community? I prefer the latter, as it promotes decentralization of the network and usage, much more than a simple burn mechanism.

As of recently me and my girlfriend have had only toxic moments constant arguing everyday and she is almost always angry at me. One day she tells me she wants me to see me and the other days she keeps threatening me to cancel it and block me on everything. Oh yeah and keep in mind I booked this flight way before. So a few days before the flight the same things keep happening the threatening of canceling or her stubbornly saying she wants me to come. Last second until the 24 hour deadline when it is too late she decides to keep saying she won't pick me up from the airport and is constantly mad. Oh and another thing happened. She posted a text chat she had with me with a barf emoji on her close friends Instagram and one of my mutual told me about it and I confronted her about it. The flight already was going to happen so I said I was willing to forget about it and go on with the week and then we can go from there. She kept insisting that I tell her who the "rat" was or she would continue to keep ignoring me. She claims that I am in no position to be mad or whatever and I should only listen to what she says because she is the one who controls if I have a place to stay or not. Another story related to this topic, she keeps getting defensive over her behavior and covers it by saying "you need to listen to me" or throws insults at me or says "I'm providing the housing and driving you" when in reality she does not pay for her mom's house which is the place I am staying at. She also had a story where she told me her mom does not approve of me. My mom had given me 300 dollars for my flight expenses not the flight itself and I was uncomfortable using it just to cover my flight. My gf insisted that why not just use it all on the flight so we don't have to split. Eventually she understood but this is where her mom came in. She texts me 4 am or something and says my mom doesn't approve of you. I told her about the 300 and she said that if it's true love then you would pay for all. Her mom thinks that I would use her. I thought it was ironic that she thought that when her daughter has been seeming like she was using me not only for expenses but for attention. My belief is that we split half and half so that we both have a commitment for it. Basically the flight being too late to cancel she has the upper hand each time and whenever she wants things to go her way she would use it against me. For example, "if you don't tell me who the rat is, I'm gonna ignore you" or "If you not gonna do this I'm not gonna not pick you up." My flight is in almost 12 hours from now and I don't know what to expect. I am probably going to end things for good after this week but is there any hope of at least this week being good. There is way more to the story then this but this is just the general idea for now.

my friend who I was dating but went to just saying friends today had this happen in a way where it led to me asking if she was aromantic based off what she was describing, her going maybe, and then me proceeding to realize if I was a-spec too despite having developed romantic feelings. but in wondering about me being demiromantic kind of way, or anything that sounds like it. if it is an a-spec thing.
starting with the whole fact of going “yeah, I get it” when she told me when we first started finding the lines to different types of attraction to her (platonic, romantic, sexual) blurry.
i had asked confusion about platonic vs romantic attraction for a while, but I think what ultimately was what was confusing me was romantic interest vs romantic attraction. if that is a thing.
I never had a legitimate relationship except for a girl that I dated for 1 month who made me quickly regret it (she was being uncomfortable with the dynamics right away) and we broke up in less than that month. I figured that, though, was obvious as to why I was not upset. I wanted out immediately. It was ultimately because I was coming to terms with being a nonbinary trans guy and she was only into women, and tried to say i was the “woman” in the relationship. So… oof.
so regardless of all this, I know I am bisexual. but I think this was the point of confusion, and I want to clarify as much as could be if this is a 100% allo experience or, well, not
Looking back, I guess what ultimately was a huge question was if alloromantic people, if experiencing true romantic attraction, would be genuinely upset by a relationship starting being rejected.
Because, now I am thinking about it, is stuff that might be why I might have gotten confused by the last person where, when I asked him out, he delayed his answer after saying he would think about it. When he told me why he put it off, it was was worried about telling me no because of my birthday coming up and thinking I would be hurt by his rejection. Thus ruining my birthday.
I did not even think about that idea. I told him I would not have been, got kinda confused and frustrated why he put it off because of that, but also I did not understand why I would be that distressed.
it was not until being in an actual active relationship recently (both in early to mid twenties) did I really get the feeling of romantic attraction compared to platonic attraction.
Because now I realized it was because, when I told my friend that, that it was situations of rejections like these where people do feel distraught by no reciprocated desire. Which does ruin friendships.
Almost everyone I asked out in the past were friends. And in general, it would come with “I want to pursue a relationship with this person”. And it could be in my head for a while. This, I viewed was romantic attraction. Despite still feeling on a level confused by platonic vs romantic until this relationship.
As when I asked, and they said no, it was just a casual “oh, dang. alright”. And I never felt distressed by it. I never came in feeling what I did after being in an actual relationship.
No matter what, I guess it was always like giving an attractive stranger your number if they wanted to call you when in a coffee shop or bar or something. Even if, technically, people would expect that if they were a friend for a while and you wanted to become romantic then it would feel more personal.
Is this what being demi is? Is it why people would expect a rejection in a friendship to ruin it, but I just move on? Was this just romantic interest and was why I was not distraught by rejection? Ehy the difference between platonic vs romantic love stumped me sometimes still?
Did I separate it from platonic too much where there was still a reference point? Like conflating wanting to be friends and then actually being friends? I am not going into love ar first sight thing some people say because not even a lot of allos believe in it.
And also because I need to know; does this negate my bisexuality? Or no because I still had interest and still capable of getting flustered.
I do not know how to describe flustered in the way that it does not feel to be inherently romantic/sexual attraction but a response to approving of the expression of interest of it, or if it only sexual. Or could be either. Or both. Or if I already explained well enough.

My husbands parents had his truck for a few weeks while he was at work and they returned it today. I found a pink hairbrush in there and it just completely triggered me. My husband recognized this and reached out to them letting them know it wasn’t okay to borrow his truck and leave their stuff in it. On one hand I’m grateful that he did that but now I’m worried I seem crazy and controlling and have trust issues (which I obviously do lol). But this isn’t the first time and I almost feel like they do stuff like this on purpose to stir the pot and rile me up.
before DDay One time I found a Tarte concealer in our bathroom and was like who’s is this because it’s not mine? And he asked his mom and she said oh yeah that’s mine! Might be a lipstick there too! And I said why would it be in our master bathroom? Turns out it was actually MY moms from when she stayed over, and my MIL doesn’t even use that brand (MaryKay) so I know she was lying about it just to cover for her son.
Another time they were borrowing his truck again when he was out of town for work and when he got back there was a little stuffed penguin in it, the kind with the sparkly eyes that are on the corner of grocery store aisles. I was kind of suspicious of it and he called his mom to put me at ease and sure enough she said it was from her.
post DDay I’m so strung out from all the gaslighting that sometimes I feel downright paranoid, but I also know she likes to play games with me. I think I just need some validation or virtual hugs 😔

"the abyss of unending anxiety"
The trip:
I had only just recently started weed again as I had a traumatic experience with it years ago when I tried it the first time which pretty much scared me away from the substance for a very long time- I pretty much thought I was a tough guy and thought hell why not and took a fat 10 second rip off of my friends cart and proceeded to go running around in the woods at midnight- yeah genius I know.
Anyways enough about that I had been using marijuana for a solid two or three months now and I figured I had completely mastered the substance and was ready for the next level naturally shrooms were the next on the list for me and being the cautious person I am, I decided to do all of the research I could on shrooms in order to prepare myself for what was to come from them. little did I know nothing could have prepared me for what happened that night. I had finally finished my research which was composed of mostly trip reports by vivec and tales from the trip as well as some research online about the affects, the duration of the high, strains how much to take etc. When I decided it was time to begin preparing myself mentally for what was to come. my research had told me that mindset and where you are in life at the moment played a key role in how the trip was going to go, so I began listening to smooth Jazzy music and just generally making an effort to stay positive for a week leading up the time I had planned to take them, I was at a friend's house hanging out with 2 friends one being my best friend of 5 years Who I will call N and the other a friend of N's who I had only hung out with a couple times before. we were playing Halo, talking and passing around a bong packed with high quality Mary-Jane that I had brought when the subject of shrooms came up, I knew these two both had connections to people who would definitely have access to hard drugs. the dealers I knew only had access to marijuana so I asked them both "how much would i have to pay for 4 Grams of shrooms" to which our mutual friend replied it's about 10$ a gram for us man but being your not a regular it will likely be more" I asked them if they could buy them so I could get a discount to which the both agreed they would do. 3 days later after I had given them 40 bucks for the shrooms I came and picked them up and stared at them when I got home taking in every detail so I could match them up to what they said the strain was which was enigma or Omni shrooms which are an extremely potent and rare mutant of 3 very powerful strains of shrooms.
I had N come over to be my trip sitter as he had 2 prior experiences with shrooms before. Both of which he told me he never saw anything but he did tell me he laid down in the grass outside of his house and stared at the sky for 2 hours mind you he had done 5gs of the stuff and said it was the same strain I was getting I was surprised by this and asked our mutual friend about his experience on the stuff with a similar dosage he said that he had a blast but he too never had any hallucinations. I was a bit confused and let down by this as I had expected alot more from a said powerful mutant of 3 shrooms. The day I had planned to take the shrooms I had woken up and carried out my regular routine of making a coffee and I reminded myself that I only needed to eat breakfast and a small one at that to ensure the shrooms worked at peak potential. As I ate my breakfast and scrolled through my phone listening to peaceful jazz and scrolling through many many happy birthday wishes- see I had just turned 18 and I thought to myself "wow what a time for my first psychedelic experience" I played need for speed and awaited N's arrival I had planned on taking them around 6pm to get a good amount of day time and night time in my trip. When N finally arrived it was around 5:30pm "perfect I thought as I looked up from my Xbox and at the clock when I heard my dogs barking at the arrival of my friend he walked into my room we said our greetings and shortly after I went to get some honey as I had heard that the shrooms would taste horrible I also poured me a decently sized glass of tea and put it into a thermos as I thought to myself "gonna be 6 hours so I better be ready" I brought them both into my room and set them on my dresser as I pulled the shrooms from my drawer examining them as my mom walked in she asked me what they were- I told her they were the shrooms I had told her about doing as I tell her everything and had talked to her about it before I even purchased them. She said alright and wished me good luck. I looked at my friend with a wide grin on my face and said "here we go". I then dipped the brain resembling shrooms into the honey generously Dunking them to avoid the bad taste as I ate them chunk by chunk I realized they didn't even taste that bad almost like a honey comb but without the honey taste I even ate the last chunks with no honey at all N suggested we could play halo while I'm still functioning and he could switch to his call of duty when I began tripping and explained to me it's best to be in a very comfortable position when they begin kicking in. I gladly took him up on the offer.
The trip: everything was normal for the first 15 minutes until I started to feel like something was off it wasn't uncomfortable but I began feeling of warmness and almost a low level weed high I told N about this. He said that it wasn't normal for anything to start happening this early as it normally takes 30 minutes to an hour for them to kick in. I wasn't swayed by this and I continued gaming. 30 minutes in- this is when they really started to kick in I was still playing the game when I began feeling this out of place and uncomfortable tightness in my chest and left arm I thought this was odd but I decided not to let it affect me. Then I looked down at the carpet in my room and noticed my first visuals the carpet was beginning to move and wiggle about resembling that of waves of water I thought this was amazing so I continued staring when I noticed my friend staring at me with a slight smile on his face "you good?" He said with a Chuckle to which I replied to him "the carpet is moving bro" we both laughed and continued playing the game. The tightness in my chest was becoming more powerful but I was still resisting the urge to acknowledge it because I wanted this to be a good experience. I looked at the carpet again and noticed it was now making patterns folding in on itself and it never stopped moving. Every once in a while a streak of purple would run through the carpet which to me was extremely beautiful I told N that I wish he could see the carpet as I see it he told me that it was likely time to begin his game and let me lay down I agreed and began to lay down as he set up his playstation to my TV this is when the most strange thing happened I looked at my dog Lucy and she was beginning to wave like the ocean her fur flowed like water but she appeared to be completely still and normal I got this overwhelming feeling of love and happiness from Lucy so I began hugging her and telling her that I loved her my dog didn't move and I imagine my friend was thinking "oh he's tripping now" I had the urge to urinate so I got up and walked towards the door of my room N stopped me asked me where I was going and if I was ok I told him "No I'm fine I just need to use the restroom" as I stood up the affects really began kicking in I felt an intense wave of euphoria go through my body I began laughing for no reason and Headed towards the bathroom when I got there I looked at myself and the mirror and noticed my pupils were so wide that I had lost all of the green color in my eye instead it was replaced with the black pupil I thought this was hilarious for some reason, as I stared I slowly began looking like a cartoon with massive eyes as I laughed and looked at myself in the mirror once I was done I went to go urinate when I began the toilet suddenly began to get further and further away and began distorting in an odd and wavy kind of way I remember this vividly and told N about it the next day. As I left the bathroom back into my room I saw N playing call of duty I sat down. Which now I realize was a bad choice as I should have laid back down and surrendered to the intense euphoria going through me it was around and hour into the trip now. I looked away from the screen that my friend was playing and back down to the beautiful carpet it was making patterns just like before but far more intense and the movement was more angular I got lost staring at the carpet and the patterns began becoming more and more obvious as I stared I began being completely mesmerized by the patterns in the carpet till the point they became all encompassing. after almost 10 whole minutes staring into the carpet I finally looked back up at my friend his face began distorting and moving I recognized who he was but he looked different now the tightness in my chest was back and it was becoming overwhelming i decided not to move back to my bed and delt with the tightness I watched my Friend play his game and I noticed that every time that a tree or any form of pattern showed up in the game it began folding in on itself and fractalizing I didn't pay much attention to it until the soldiers in the game began loading up into a military transport vehicle I remember the camo on the truck was moving by moving I mean the individual splotches of color were sliding across up and down the truck this was odd as I would have expected it to fractalize like every other pattern. I decided that smoking a bowl with my friend would perhaps mellow out the trip we passed the bong a couple times, This is when the tightness in my chest became too much and I told my friend I was going to lay down and take a nap to which he replied "ok" as I laid in my bed covered in comforters and too many pillows to count the tightness began manifesting as deep and painful anxiety I couldn't get comfortable so I decided fuck this I'm gonna sleep anyway the dreams will be better than this. I've never been more wrong in my life. In this part of the trip approximately 2 and a half hours in I can't be positive whether I was asleep or if I had entered a state of paralysis and vivid closed eye hallucinations I was still listening to the jazz and it too became part of the painful anxiety I was experiencing I angrily threw my headphones never opening my eyes saying this shit doesn't work over and over again, this shit doesn't work, this shit doesn't work, this is when everything became quiet and I entered what I will call the abyss of unending anxiety. I wouldn't say I forgot who I was like the ego death I had heard so much about but I definitely stopped caring who I was I tried reminding myself saying my name over and over again my friend told me that he was actively trying to comfort me in this stage but to no avail. In this abyss, I stayed for what felt like years I felt as if I was but a grain of sand and a heaping monstrosity of anxiety as large as reality itself was crushing me from all directions. A feeling I will never forget. I was in mental anguish and felt I was going to be stuck there for eternity I also had this odd feeling that I was being watched and that this was all for a reason. However I began to miss my girlfriend and my mom my friend told me after I was sober that I kept repeating I love my girlfriend and talking about missing my mom. I stayed there, insignificant, in pain and hopeless. Until I woke up mid sentence with my friend talking about my girlfriend "she's definitely better than your other choices" he said. Slowly coming back to reality I replied "yeah.. she really is, I hope to marry her you know?" A hint of positivity began coming back. I was extremely happy about this and decided to take my chance now that I was not not being pinned by crushing anxiety you might think I am being dramatic but I was litterally immobilized by This dread. I got up and walked to my mom's room hugged her and told her that she was my reason for existence I stayed there not understanding what she was saying to me hugging her feeling an amazing wave of love and positivity pulsing through me I was alive happy and loved once I was sure I was going to be ok I walked back to my room where my friend met me shortly after he said he was looking for me worried, I then told him all was fine now and I had it figured out I sat down yet again and I began repeating "life is rough and existence is rough" I remember trying very hard to make some inspirational speech out of this but my brain was racing to fast to do this my friend turned on some of his own jazz music and I sat there listening to the beautiful music it was true bliss I loved it I told him that he was a great guy and that he was my best friend he thanked me and changed the song my sister came in and began listening with us a family friend of ours also came in and began staring at me asking what it felt like I told her there was no real way to describe it she asked me if she looked funny and what it looked like I noticed she didn't look like she normally did almost a completely different person if not for her voice I wouldn't have recognized her at all. this is when I left to go use the restroom again and the same events that happened before in the bathroom completely repeated themselves almost perfectly I stared in the mirror and laughed the toilet got further and further away. "I'm tripping balls" I thought as I left the bathroom drank some water and returned to my room where my friend and my sister were talking about me tripping and his experience as my sister had never done it and was curious it's worth saying that I only know this is what they're subject was because they told me when I was sober. at the time I couldn't understand what they were saying and it sounded like a totally different language I remember the tightness was gone but there was still some left over anxiety and laying back down in my bed triggered it again though not as intense as last time it was still horrible and painful I held my pillows tightly and tried to comfort myself by humming and sometimes mumbling the lyrics to the music my friend was listening to. Approximately 4 hours into the trip I began coming down and I was slowly getting familiar feelings of the life I lived before all of this. this felt amazing as some familiarity felt told me it would all be over soon my friend asked me if I was ok and I told him "Yes I think so" this is when my sister suggested we all play Minecraft together. My Friend declined however as it was getting late and he was ready to be home. I told him goodbye and thanked him for watching me. this is when my sister set up Minecraft, I played for 10 minutes or so then I dropped the controller completely back to reality aside from some light visuals and stared at the ceiling trying to comprehend what I had just went through. for the last 2 hours of the trip I was in awe of what I had been through and walked around my house with a blanket draped over me walking around like a zombie humming too myself and thinking about what had happened in this stage I felt nothing. Nothing good, and nothing bad, just nothing. When I woke up the next morning I pondered over what happened this is when I realized what the shrooms had truly done, when I was in the abyss I had this odd feeling that I was being watched and that this was all for a reason. I thought this was odd at the time but I now realize that it was god watching over me he was watching me in pain and anguish but this wasn't a bad thing this had to happen, this is when it finally clicked in my head, God was using the mushrooms to purge the anxiety out of my life and heal me from this experience and I can't be More grateful.
Over all the good parts of the trip were very fun and even tho the abyss far overdid the good parts I still believe it was for the best and I learned a lesson, and left it better person Its been only 2 days since the trip and I feel a massive weight has been lifted off of my shoulders I know this is the absence of the anxiety which has been purged from my life. I will definitely do shrooms again but next time I will have more respect for them, and treat them as the spiritual medicine they are. To all who plan to do shrooms make sure you go in with the intention to heal yourself this is not just some drug to have fun with it is much more than that it is a tool used by God to heal us in ways regular medicine cannot and that is not to be taken lightly.

On a warm sunny void, we meet Chikn Nuggit with Sody Pop. 🐤: Hey, Sody.. 🥤: Yeah? 🐤: I feel weird. 🥤: Relatable. Suddenly, a portal builds up, and they meet a wolf in sheep's clothing, literally. 🍵: oh. screaming 🍔: Hey, guys! AHHHHHHH- Part 2?

Sorry I didn't post more on the story... I had a busy day today...
I didn't expect to be writing during midnight, buuut... yeah~...
Enjoy!
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Memory Transcription Subject: Slanek, Ex-UN office Venlil Citizen
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 20, 2136
The process of identification and reintegration into civilian life was a quick on… Considering I was only in the UN guard for a few months, it wasn’t very difficult for me. However, the more stressful and annoying part was going about the process of becoming Nulia’s Legal guardian. The process as Marcel explained it to me was a tedious one, which I found to be true in more ways than one… I was willing to sit through it, I would still go through days in the office for her… That was the kind of person she needed and deserved.
I walked out of the agency with a prideful smile as I held Nulia to see her eye to eye… She still wore a sad smile but I held her close to provide her with a warm comfort she needed. I spoke to her in a soothing voice, “You're a strong girl Nulia, I know you are mourning this whole arrangement. I am too, we both miss Marcel… But he wouldn’t want us to be sad like this… We’ll both be together, and we will live our lives happily, Like Marc would want for us.”
She looked at me with saddened eyes, but she had a soft smile. I asked her, “How about we go have something to eat? I could get you some strayu? Do you like the sound of that?” As soon as I said Strayu her eyes lit up with a much happier look… she still had a sad look in her eyes, but it was no longer as prominent as it was before.
“Realsies?! Thanks Unca!” she spoke with such a peppy and excited tone… I just made my heart swell in a caring love for this Gojid youngling, even more than I initially had for her.
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Memory Transcription Notice: Chronological leap of 1.5 hours later
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As we walked along the capital’s streets I couldn’t help but notice a drastic shift in the atmosphere in the people I was walking by… I didn’t see anyone with a happy look on their face, everyone seemed so distant.
Their eyes seemed as if they peered into another dimension, some people almost ran into poles because of how lost in thought they were…
As I walked to my favorite Diner in the capital, I saw a Yotul crying just on the sidewalk… He seemed distraught, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him… Yotul weren’t highly regarded due to their appointed status as primitives… being constantly considered a less intelligent species would be oh so debilitating for anyone, he probably grew tired of it, breaking down on the street… I felt sorry for him, I wanted to help… It’s what Marcel would have done…
“Hey”
I spoke to the Yotul which seemed to startle him… he seemed surprised that someone was addressing him in his sorrowful state…
“W-what do you want… Here to-... Chastise me like everyone else? Just leave me alone… I have a lot to cope with…”
I sighed as I responded to him, “I’m sorry for you Yotul, I don’t want to make you feel unwanted… you’ve probably had enough of that kind of treatment from others. I just want to help you… Maybe I could invite you for lunch? Nulia and I would love you as company.”
The Yotul went wide eyed at my invitation, seeming to ponder my motives… “Really?... Why me?” He asked with a suspicion ever present in his voice. It made sense. It's not every day you’re crying on the street, and you have a stranger invite you to lunch…
I responded truthfully with a caring tone… “Everyone deserves to have a good friend to lean on… I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I was hoping you would be interested in joining me and my little Nulia for some strayu?””
I saw his eyes go teary as I asked him… he wiped away his tears. I reached out my paw to pull him up. “Thank you”, He said whilst taking my hand and standing up… “Who are you?”
I respond with a gentle tail wag, as my ears perk up, “I’m Slanek, who might you be Yotul?”
“Onso”
……….
Onso seemed to greatly enjoy the strayu based on how much he was stuffing himself full of it… He and Nulia both had crumbs on their cheeks, which made me chuckle ever so.
“I don’t want to remind you of whatever it was that you were crying about, but I think I have some Ideas as to what it was…”
The Yotul seemed to open his eyes as I spoke, he seemed to ease up a moment after though… “Oh… yeah, I was mourning the loss on earth… so much lost… I saw all the photos of beautiful jungles of steel… decades of development and progress all snapped away within the span of a few hours… It’s horrible… The feds are monsters for what they’ve done.”
“I agree 100%... It was oh so horrible to see all the devastation on earth.”
The Yotul tensed up as he managed to catch what I meant when I said that. He looked at me as If I just said the most planet shattering thing, he’s ever heard… he screamed, “YOU WERE ON EARTH?!?!” His outburst attracted the attention of everyone else in the diner, they all stared wide eyed at me as I was now the center of attention, it was unnerving to see so many expressions like that…
“WHAT?!”
“You were on earth?!”
“You managed to survive the bombardment?!”
Those were just a few of the many phrases I was hearing… It made sense, almost half of the human population was slaughtered, all of the most important human cities were erased…
“Thankfully yes… Nulia and I just got back today… It’s going to take a bit for me to get reacquainted with my home planet… I feel so bad for the humans on earth, I doubt it’s any better for the refugees…”
Everyone went dead silent; they looked as if I just spoke out against the great protector herself…
“You… don’t know?” Onso asked with a concerned expression… He gulped before saying, “I’d tell you, but I really don’t want the youngling to know…”
I looked down at Nulia with concern, what happened? The refugees, what could have possibly happ-... the battle of earth… oh no… oh nononononononono… My eyes went bloodshot with realization as to the idea, the mass suicide that likely resulted after the battle report… so many humans would feel such loneliness… such betrayal and fear… to take the quickest way out of a nightmare? They were definitely in a better place if that was the case…
“Onso? Did the refugees-... off themselves?” I asked in a hushed tone to avoid Nulia hearing me… The Yotul nodding at my inquiry really sent me into a spiral… my eyes flooded with dread and pain… Oh how I pitied those poor souls… May they be guided to a paradise in the next life… I was struggling to hold back tears… I wiped them away…
Onso spoke more about the details, “14% committed to the act… they all took the noose and essentially lined themselves along extermination offices across the planet, and painted them with phrases of hateful spite against everything and everyone, against the venlil and the Federation as a whole… All the remaining humans left in a massive number of shuttles that appeared during the sleep cycle. There are no humans on the planet at all anymore... they're all gone, and their parting message was that we’re all worthless cowards and deserve to be cattle for… the greys…”
My eyes widened at the comment… I felt sick… someone help me…
Please…
MARCEL, PLEASE HELP ME!...
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Hi, so...
I'm gonna talk a lot. It took me an hour to type this on my phone, apparently... 😅 But, if you just want the meat of my rant, skip to the very bottom, the "where life has me now" part. Or, better yet:
TL;DR - I have no friends anymore, my ex was my best friend and now I have no one. I've had a rough few weeks what with everything that's gone wrong (one after the other, thanks 2023), and I just don't have anyone to process it with. I miss my best friend...

Backstory, I guess

I was in a poly relationship for 7 years with this girl. Primary partner. She sometimes had other boyfriends but none ever stuck. I saw a few other people too but never even got to the point of calling it another date. It worked out more like we were open/ENM rather than poly, but anyway, just setting up some color to the backstory. We were all but married, owned a house together, raising her step-kids together, got pets together... all that. "Married" but not married.
We were both friendly with this guy we knew from community theater. She got close to him almost a year ago, they started seeing each other. Grew feels. We were poly so I was excited for her. Yay!

The decline...

After a few months, she reveals that he is monogamous. Ugh, not the first time she's dated a mono guy, but he wanted to chat with me and I did too, so I was hopeful we could understand each other better.
She started pulling away from my touch, trying to avoid contact with me so as not to upset her new boyfriend. Uhh... anyway, he was constantly busy and never had time to chat with me, and then she at one point asked if I would even care if she broke up with me. Obviously, lol, why wouldn't I be upset about it? Of course I would care!
We kept fighting over little things more and more for the next month, until I snapped and suggested we break up since she seems so sure I'm awful now.
When we talked about it a few days later, she said she's ready to be done with me, doesn't think she'll ever feel romantic for me again, didn't want to even try couple's therapy (unless it was necessary to salvage our friendship), and that she had these issues with me for years so it's not even new. (My takeaway from this is that she was convincing herself that I was worse than she remembered in order to feel less shitty about breaking up with me for her new boy.)
She had said when/before we broke up that she would take a break from her new boy too. Naturally once we broke up, she changed it to "just a break" with me, but no break with him, because "that wouldn't be fair to him" and "the heart wants what it wants".
Whatever... I still held out hope.

The break

So, for the next four months, we still lived together. At first we were okay with sharing the bed and just made it a point to not touch. Sometimes we'd sleep on the couch but usually just split the bed.
She continued to see him, sometimes 2 days out of the week, sometimes 6 days of the week. I kept making dinner and hung out with her two kids (13 and 15). Oh, I forgot to mention that I work full time and am also in college classes nearly full-time, so I'm always busy with homework too. No matter. The point here is that she's not around much, which is fine but feels like a lot at times.
I did reach out to her a few times after two months, asking to get some time with her, check in, hang out, whatever. She kept having plans already, so I'd shoot for a week or two out. She'd halfway make plans, then the conversation would die. When it would come around, she would blow me off, "oh they needed me for a few extra hours at church, sorry!". (I believe her, but it's clear I ranked lower in priority than anything). Other times she "could be home after lunch, which happens at 11"... but then "after" was apparently 5pm. (She goes to bed around 7:30, and doesn't usually want to do anything this late in the day.) After a few tries like this, I gave up.
I finally asked her if we were done. I wanted to have the conversation in a park or restaurant or something... she refused and instead we had it with her sitting in bed with her PJs on, practically hiding under the covers. I told her I had about 40% desire left to see us fix things, that it has been dwindling since she keeps acting like I'm a stranger, but there's still hope. She just repeated that she doesn't see us ever being romantic again, so when I asked her to put it to a number, she said 0%.
So, that's it. Done.

Moving forward...

That was about a month ago? We still live together while we work out the house. I want to move, and I'd rather sell altogether. She can't refinance to buy me out, but she wants to stay. Ugh... so we might work something out to where we split equity on sale later down the road.... that's a whole 'nother headache that I won't even get into just yet, because I've got other problems right now.
We split the room up a little... I now have a cot in here, so we sleep separately. For the most part we do okay as roommates I suppose, but it's still awkward as fuck living with my ex. I still consider the kids mine too, but it feels weird when they're all hanging out together. I guess it should, though. Hrm.
Anyway.

Where life has me right now

I haven't been great about keeping in contact with friends. I was friends with her friends, though, but while we rarely see them anymore anyway, I feel like they're even more unavailable now. (She actually told them not to hate me on her behalf, that she still wants some friendliness between all of us... but, whatever. It's dead.) So, I'm alone.
The kids are teenagers. I still feel familial with them, but there's always been a little bit of step distance between us. One of them just came out as trans.
My bathroom skylight has a hole in it. First people I brought out tried hard-selling me a whole new roof. Yeah, that shit was a horrible experience. Anyway, next guy who came out just quoted me for a skylight. Pfft. It's always something though right?
My old car has been leaking everywhere for the last few months, and finally stopped starting (intermittently). I suspect it's a head gasket, but I'm not a mechanic so idk. I've been considering car shopping anyway, so maybe now is the time, especially since the mechanics looking at my car have pointed out two sensors to start troubleshooting with for $580, and aren't sure if that's the fix. That's a little expensive for troubleshooting what could be a head gasket... so, cue car shopping under duress.
We talked with a lawyer this week about the house and splitting the equity on sale when she moves out, because again, she doesn't want to move (because of the kids), and I do. That turned into an argument where she thinks I'm the bad guy trying to evict her kids because I won't accept so little, and me standing my ground saying I deserve more than just what the current equity is right now because at minimum I should get interest on it since I'm unable to touch this money for 4 years (per the current plan), much like a loan.
Anyway, we talk and eventually she cools down. She lets me borrow the car for the weekend at least while she's camping with her boyfriend. Cool.
I realize I picked too high of a monthly commitment for the car I want, so I spent the long weekend re-budgeting to see what I can afford, and where I need to cut back on my spending.
I've been looking at cars and shooting a few to a coworker friend and an old friend who is also going through a divorce that I chat with sometimes. Both respond here and there but aren't engaged with helping me. I don't blame them, they have lives too, but it leaves me feeling like I'm on my own here. Fine, I can't expect people to help me make financial decisions anyway.
Go to the dealership by myself this evening... The dude I work with... It feels like he's misread me, like he thinks I want some hot new car, rather than something functional and cheap. He seems to be annoyed that I'm taking my time to look at things, and didn't fall for his lease pitch. We bargain, I get some good numbers, so it was all around fine... but it's clear we both want to be done with each other for the day. He mentions they're closing up shop, I take my leave to think about it for a day.
Anyway. Now I'm home again. On my cot.
I just want to decompress and process my day with someone, but I just don't have anyone to talk to. I mean, there's people I can talk to but goddamn I don't feel like I have anyone I can just level with, at least not when I need them.
Goddamn I feel so alone.
I lost my best friend, and the shell of her is sleeping one bed away from mine.
I... and, maybe I should get out more, but first I need a car, and my house fixed, and free time separate from school, and not worry about coming to an agreement with the house, and maybe it would be nice to have moved out so I can finally mentally move on.... Maybe then I'll have free time for making new friends. Idfk. Is this just another excuse? Am I just not a social person, and now I'm suffering for it during my most challenging period of life?
I hate this.

As the name implies, I want something more… reasonable, preferably if I spawned in a plains biome or something.
Oh yeah, and I’m running on a 1.18.2 build of the game with mods installed, if that’s important.
Many thanks!