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Oasis Vape and OasisVape.com
2016.02.09 21:49 OasisVape Oasis Vape and OasisVape.com
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2016.06.16 18:21 Look for a group in Shattered Skies
Look for a group in Shattered Skies
2018.09.08 22:23 Kick Open The Door
Welcome to Reddit's biggest (and only) literal boss fight arena!
2023.06.09 04:23 sepia_nymph 28F I want a boyfriend [relationship]
A list of things I would like:
A lot of time to be on your phone with me
Single
Near my age I’m more lenient in the younger direction. I have little life experience and progress.
Short
Passionate
Intellectual
A wide open heart
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2023.06.09 04:22 speedcreature What repetitive actions would you wish Niantic made automatic/ macros of?
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2023.06.09 04:21 JustARandomPinkBOT AIW for not wanting to order out if I didn't have to?
Context: Earlier today my mom pops out of her room and asks me "do you have any plans for dinner?" I said no, because I wasn't particularly hungry at the time.
[Important info, my family doesn't have set times that we eat. We eat whatever we are hungry. The only time I ever "plan" anything is when I'm about to ordemake food, and that is usually just "what am I in the mood for right now?"]
She then presses me by saying "well you gotta eat sometime today." I respond saying "yea I probably will when I'm hungry" and then continues to push about whether I was going to order anything. I told her that I could, but that I'd rather not.
She asked me if I was broke and I said no I just didn't feel like ordering anything that moment because it's costly and I'm trying to save up money. I then asked why she didn't just buy herself something? Was she asking because couldn't afford it? She confessed that she was hungry, only had $15, and would appreciate if I ordered something for her. I went "Ah ok, yea sure I can order you something. Let me see if bro wants anything." And I thought that was the end of that.
Apparently not.
As I am ordering the food I overhear her talking to her fiance about the conversation that we had. Both were calling me disrespectful and selfish. That I never should have asked about her financial situation, I had no good reason to act that stingy, that I shouldn't make my mother beg me to buy her food etc...
I damn near cancelled the order just because I was PISSED.
I pay most of the bills in the house and hardly buy anything beyond what I need. I often send money to her and her fiance to help them out when they are short, and usually do get food for the whole family when I order out. Rarely do I say no. All of that, just to be called selfish and disrespectful behind my back.
But maybe I WAS being insensitive with my question?
To ask her why she didn't buy it herself if she wanted to order out? She works a fulltime job and I don't normally ask about her money. I feel bad because I wasn't trying to be rude, and I can sometimes be oblivious to whether I was or not. Plus I am certainly able to see how it can be viewed that way, and why it would upset her. However, I feel like saying that stuff about me was too much.
Also, I don't know why she didn't just start with "hey I ain't got a whole lot of money right now, but I'm hungry, can you get me something?" This alone would've been enough and I wouldn't have hesitated or asked questions.
Am I wrong? Was I actually being selfish, disrespectful, and rude?
I am ready to receive my judgment.
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2023.06.09 04:20 mournersandfunerals Asked to audit a class and then ghosted the professor last year. How can I ask about research opportunities in her lab?
About a year ago I was trying to decide whether to switch my major, so I emailed the professor of a class that was being offered in that major and asked if I could audit her class. She said yes and I went to one class and loved it. I ended up not showing up to any of the other classes. I emailed the professor and told her that I was having a busier quarter than I expected so I couldn't attend lectures but I asked to stay as an auditor on the Canvas page so I could still look at the readings for the class since I thought they were really interesting. I ended up not reading any of the material posted, not because I didn't find it interesting but because I was having a lot of personal issues that quarter and couldn't get the motivation to do it. Near the end of the quarter I saw that I had been removed from the Canvas page, which I assumed was because she saw that I never opened any of the materials but I could be wrong. It was a really small class (about 10 people) in a pretty small major.
I did end up changing my major and now I want to go to grad school for it. I want to get research experience before then, and this professor is one of only a couple that are doing research in the subset of my major that I'm really interested in. I want to ask her if she has research opportunities for undergraduates in her lab, but I'm worried that she'll remember this and tell me no because of it. Should I even ask her? And if I do should I preemptively explain why I ghosted her class after saying I was really interested in it, or should I just say nothing and hope she doesn't remember?
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2023.06.09 04:20 bsem2 When should a teammate save you (a/k/a who's the a-hole)?
Ok, I've only played DBD for short time now, so I don't know all the subtleties of the community yet. But I gotta ask:
Imagine these are the circumstances:
You and another player are remaining.
4 gens are completed.
You've collectively worked on a 5th gen nearing 50%, but the killer knows this. Obvi there are 2 other gens that could be worked on as well.
The other player gets hooked, but you save them.
You get hooked and the other player does not save you. The killer is not camping
Should I find this annoying? Or is it expected that I just kill myself on the hook so they can find the hatch. It seems if it was the latter, then they should kill themselves first given that they got hooked and I was on my first hook when I was eliminated.
I feel like I don't see enough players come for the rescue when the game is still winnable as a team, but maybe I'm being selfish.
Can someone enlighten me? When should a teammate save you and when is it expected that the teammate just let you survive? (3 gens complete? 4? Never? Always?) I'm curious.
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2023.06.09 04:20 kkjiggy Open For Tarot Readings!
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2023.06.09 04:19 ImpInSwimmies314 Martyr
You ever have your brain spew some ridiculous shit at you, and in that moment, you just know that you're fucked?
I had this crazy thought once.
It went something like-
Oh God, there it is, there is THEE smile, THEE laugh...I've bared myself to shame for it, and I'd humiliate myself everyday for the rest of my life just for that
There's no logic to these things. They sneak right up on you, leaving you gasping for breath at the realization that you are the dumbest person in the entire world.
I'm a prideful woman.
My pride has led me into messes of trouble one too many times- how much easier my life would have been, would be now, if I just swallowed it!
And yet all it took was one laugh for me to be willing to strip myself of it-
Here, take my integrity.
Here, have my dignity.
Here, take all that has held me up in the face of adversity, what's left of it.
Take my chin tilt; I will cast my eyes to the ground in submission to your beauty.
Maybe these are things worth crying over after all.
When I told a friend about it, she said "what I'm hearing is people saw you vulnerable, and you can't have that."
It's a strange thing, to over share and still stay hidden, to open yourself and still have such formidable walls.
I may never understand why my walls fall so easily, so swiftly, by a singular presence, why they crumble to dust in my hands.
I know I'll never understand how one set of eyes could trap mine-
Mine!
So shifty others have screamed at me for it; they've taken me by the shoulders and shook me, demanding the intimacy of pupils matching and yet-
And yet, though they had seen me naked of my clothes, I could not give them that.
I may never understand much but this:
I have some sort of sickness, an illness which may grant me some remission until my next mistake and I -
I cannot explain what it is like to sit and listen to someone tell you your own beliefs about things like love-
To tell you your own secret musings, as crushed as they may be under the weight of circumstances, realities.
Or how an incomplete sentence can become a lie when words get stuck in your throat-
How unsaid things can sit in your chest for eternity.
I don't remember much of certain happenings, but I'll never forget that crazy stupid thought.
I don't have anything to offer anyone but myself, and it's simply inadequate.
I don't know if you've seen The Butterfly Effect but it's about what happens when selfishness and selflessness collide.
Maybe once, I lived out all of the possible outcomes and decided upon the pain of loss, dying inside yet continuing to walk on.
Giving away what magic I may have...
Just to see you smile.
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2023.06.09 04:19 soc_cafe Finally getting my legal name and sex change!!
I've been harassing my parents for pretty much over a year now to get the name and sex change forms signed and they've finally picked a date to go into the DMV and the everything notarized. It's not that they weren't accepting, I've been on T for nearly 3 months now and they're good with everything. Just divorced parents who hate each other too much to sign some damn forms. Luckily for me, everything should be legally changed before I turn 18 (6 months away), so I can have my ID all proper for travelling, medical stuff and university.
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2023.06.09 04:19 MythologyBuffOz Got a tonsillectomy today (day one)
i had my surgery around 9am this morning. (im 16M) and it was my first time under anesthesia. it actually wasn’t as bad as i’ve been told. when i was being put to sleep, i complained that my iv hurt and they said it was the medicine being put in, then i promptly blacked out. all the sudden i was laying in a bed, eyes still wouldn’t open, an i didnt try to force them open so i wouldn’t make myself panic, as i was told to do. i was trying to finger sign in asl to the nurse to say things, eyes still closed. she didn’t understand what i was saying cus she didn’t know asl (rip) but i eventually i woke up. the nurse assured me i could speak, but im autistic, and just went non-verbal cus i didnt want to talk. they wheeled me to a different room and sat me on a recliner chair (thank god i could put me feet up cus i think i would have almost fell onto the floor cus i was still loopy) they gave me water and jello and i was pretty ok for a while. felt a but slow, but otherwise the pain was manageable and i played animal crossing on my switch on the way home. got home around 1pm and ate some of the pudding i had, felt pretty good. ate a bunch of ice cream and popsicles, and my mom made me some chicken noodle soup for dinner after i took a short nap. the noodles were soft so they were easy to swallow and the broth was good. now it’s 9:15pm and the pain sucks. and i know im not really supposed to open my mouth wide, so i dont, but i did take a look to see what it looked like and it looks like two gaping orifices. i take the pain meds they gave again at 10pm, should i try taking some Tylenol for the pain too? im mostly just in pain cus swallowing hurts. anyway, will probably keep posting on here out of boredom. peace.
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2023.06.09 04:19 kkjiggy Open For Tarot Readings!
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2023.06.09 04:19 kkjiggy Open For Tarot Readings!
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2023.06.09 04:19 rinnCL Are UI/UX skills a must to apply for graphic design jobs these days?
I've been working as a designer at a small agency for nearly 5 years now and I've been trying to look for something new. The thing is, my current job is focused on editorial work, like publications and reports, etc., almost never any digital projects. I realize this is causing me to fall behind with the current trends so I've brushed up on web/motion design and self-taught myself UI/UX software such as Figma/Sketch/Adobe XD on my own time. I've included web design/motion design projects in my portfolio to demonstrate these skills.
One thing I'm lacking though is UI/UX experience. Technically I took a course on it back in school but the project I made from the course is extremely dated so I've since removed it from my portfolio. I notice from many job postings that UI/UX experience is a common qualification employers look for, and that worries me a little.
I've been applying for a few months now but nothing has been working out. I wonder if it's because I don't have a UI/UX project in my portfolio. Granted I've been applying for more senior positions, no junior or entry-level positions. I haven't applied for any UI/UX positions, but it often comes up as a requirement.
So I just want to ask the community: How necessary would you say it is to include a UI/UX project in your portfolio?
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2023.06.09 04:19 bratintensifies Update:
He threw his sunglasses at the ground near me during an argument. Pulled them off his head and tossed them as hard as he could. I knew it would escalate. He immediately said, “it’s okay, they were already broken.” Instead of asking if I was okay after the plastic pieces flew everywhere.
I had him leave the house. I said nothing except “You need to leave. Go for a walk around the block. You need to leave.” I said that on repeat until he did leave.
He promised me it’d never happen again. But that’s what they all say, lol. All my friends thought I was being dramatic when I mentioned I was worried he’d get physical. But he did. He threw something in the midst of an argument. Next time he might throw a punch at the wall. The time after that, maybe I’m closer to him than a wall. It escalates. It always does. I know this.
I went to college. I fucking pulled myself out of poverty and addiction. I am smart, opinionated. I am exactly who I want to be, I don’t shy away from saying what I want. I am kind, I am sweet. I care for others and defend people. I offer my home to anyone who needs it. I offer my shoulders to cry on, and my money for food.
Why can’t I leave? I always understood that people in abusive relationships can’t leave until they truly want to. You can tell them to leave all you want, but they have to make that choice themself. I’m worried that leaving will trigger him to do something worse. Especially if he escalates more before I can actually leave. I cannot afford to leave. I have support from friends but no one who has offered a place to stay. I feel like a clown telling everyone what he does to me, just to stay. But I tell people what he does so that when shit like this happens, they can see how he escalated too. And that way there won’t be any “He would never do that!” If he physically hurts me. Because now everyone knows he has a record.
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2023.06.09 04:18 kkjiggy Open For Tarot Readings!
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2023.06.09 04:18 marzbiat I’ve been played
I was seeing a guy from my hometown since the end of February but he’s traveling for work so we were doing long distance but we would travel back and forth to see each other. Right off the bat, I felt like I was being love bombed. I had gotten out of a long term relationship not too long ago where I wasn’t given even the bare minimum so I didn’t care that this guy was possibly love bombing me. I loved the attention I was getting which now I see shouldve been a major red flag. He did all the right things- good morning text, random phone calls, texted me all throughout the day and held the conversation, bought me flowers, never let me pay for anything, and opened doors for me. It was going great till it wasn’t. Slowly he started talking to me less and less to the point where I wouldn’t hear from him for hours with no explanation but Id see he was active social media. Over memorial weekend I went to go see him and we finally slept together for the first time. It was a great time overall and when I left we were still in contact. I had asked him if this was what he wanted and he said yes he really likes me. Well this past weekend he just stopped texting me back. I tried reaching out asking if we could talk but never heard back. I ended up blocking him and it’s been driving me crazy that I have no answers as to what happened. I feel so stupid for not seeing the red flags and letting myself fall for him
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2023.06.09 04:18 Theravenswriter I’m jealous of my sister and I’m tired of it.
Twins are supposed to have a “beautiful” connection. Many people tell stories of twins saving each other's lives and even finding each other after being separated. Alli and I haven't ever been that way.
Our mother pushed a toxic competitive agenda on us since we could crawl. I always attributed this to her being a single mother and wanting us to have better in our lives. But, now that I'm an adult I honestly believe it's because she found it easier to pit Alli and me against each other than it was to parent the both of us.
Whichever one of us was doing the best was the one she favored at the time. This took a huge toll on my and Alli’s relationship. I don't remember once ever getting along. No matter what the situation was we always tried to outdo the other.
Alli and I were entirely identical besides personality. She was the more sporty twin, whereas I was more academic. We were a walking cliché. Both of us had long curly Auburn hair, sharp eyebrows, and deep green eyes. The only difference was she had a small freckle on her cheek, right above her cheekbone.
High school was hell for me. I was horrible at making friends and suffered from long bouts of depression. Alli was always surrounded by a big group of friends and was generally regarded as the prettiest girl in our grade, even though we shared a face. I was never really jealous of this, I preferred staying out of the limelight. It wasn't until college that it truthfully started to bother me.
Alli attended a better school than me even though we both went for pre-Med. My mother never seemed to be able to get over the fact that because of Alli’s athleticism, she almost got a full ride to an Ivy League school.
Unfortunately, I had to pay my way in the world. I worked two jobs while going to a local school full-time. I was exhausted and that made my resentment for my sister fester over the growing years. She and I lost contact and by the time we entered our residency as doctors, I hadn't spoken to my sister in almost eight years. Until she called me out of the blue.
“Sam, I really just wanted to catch up. It's been a while and I miss you. I’ve been kinda lonely since Mom died.” she choked. “Alli, hey. Yeah, it's been a while.” bile filled the back of my throat. “I'm in town for a couple of weeks before I move to Washington and start residency. I was hoping we could catch up. Maybe get some coffee sometime?” she almost pleaded.
Later that week we met up at the coffee shop down the street from my apartment. At first, everything was going well. She talked about how unfair it was that mom drove us apart, how she wished we got the same twin connection everyone else did, and as always, medical school. She told me she wished I could go with her to Washington and I didn't have to stay in our little state.
After coffee, she invited me over to her rental on the weekend. I agreed, just for reconciliation and because I missed my twin. As the weekdays passed she texted me and told me to come over Saturday evening, and implored me to bring wine. She said she'd cook some pasta and we could catch up some more.
Saturday came and I arrived on her doorstep. The air was starting to get chilly and it was dark out. Her rental was on the outskirts of the city, surrounded by fields and canopy-gapped trees lined her driveway. The house was small but homey. Large elephant ears were planted along the side of the house against a trellis.
She answered the door with a smile, took the wine bottle from my hands, and beckoned me in. As soon as I stepped into the house I felt ill. If she noticed she didn't say anything.
I spent most of the night picking at my food. She drank a couple of glasses of wine and asked me about how college went. I couldn't touch the wine and told her to keep the bottle. I felt too sick to drink. We both talked about how we felt too busy to be in a relationship and felt married to our careers. Soon she started yawning and I took that as my cue to leave. Overall I'd say the night was a success despite my random bouts of nausea.
I arrived at my house, which was about a thirty-minute drive from Alli’s. I ran myself a bath and began writing in my journal, a habit I had picked up over the years of therapy. Writing was almost like a release for me, expelling all my personal issues on a page made me feel better somehow.
Before bed, I texted Alli’s phone apologizing for acting kind of weird at dinner, blaming it on nerves and asked her to come by for breakfast in the morning. I crawled into bed and set an alarm so I could get ready early the next morning.
I woke up around 6:00 a.m. and started getting ready. I put on a flowy dress and tied my hair in a knot. It wasn’t seconds before I was done that the doorbell rang and shortly after I began to cry.
“Officer please in here! I don’t know what happened. The door was unlocked and when I walked in I found her laying there.” I sobbed and grabbed the cop in a hug.
“Ma’am, please. Take some deep breaths and tell me everything that happened.” He held me at arm's length, slightly covered in blood.
“We were supposed to have breakfast. We hadn’t talked in years. I guess medical school finally made her depression take over. I’m sorry I’m such a mess I couldn’t help but hold her when I walked in. She’s my sister, my twin, I’ll never be the same.” I fell to the floor, clutching the note I typed up last night.
“She left a note. I wish I could have helped her. Excuse me I really need to throw up.” I handed the officer the note and walked toward the bathroom still crying.
When I finally shut the door I smiled, reapplying the small freckle, right above my cheekbone.
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2023.06.09 04:18 NeonGreenMist CAH and gender dysphoria advice/experience?
Back in 2018 when I was 15 (already 5 years into puberty and getting a period) I ended up in an urgent care for major pain near my bladder, long story short it was an ovarian cyst, 4 drawn blood and 2 reaction blood tests I was told I had CAH “you have more testosterone than you should im putting you on birth control come back again in 3 months” within the span of 5 minutes because the only gyno in the pediatric system I was in refused to stay in the room longer than 5-10 minutes for appointments even if you had questions. So clueless 15 yr old me and my mom just did what we were told. It’s been 5 years, I’m now 20 and a disaster. My body fell apart as soon as I started the birth control and it started limiting my testosterone. I was a happy pretty healthy 15 yr old who loved life and herself sure I was a little over weight but I played sports walked around was active. I am now 20 have an attempt on record, my back and hips are all sorts of f-ed up my hips are not aligned, I have 3 slipped discs and my leg/hip socket keeps slipping out of place, I can barely move around without pain and dangerously obese. And finally the gender dysphoria, I didn’t know what it was at first because I thought gender dysphoria meant you just wanted the opposite sex parts (I apologize if that sounds uneducated as I said I was and im trying my best to learn) which yeah I envied having thoughts parts but I always felt like I would be ok if I would be female for the rest of my life. Then I experienced the past 2 months, I legitimately didn’t realize how bad I was lying to myself till it was too late, within these 2months I’ve completely lost my sex drive and feel dirty and disgusting just thinking about anything sex related in the extremely frustrating way not the “haha no sex for me 😎” way like my lovely asexual friend. Every time I pass a mirror I just get this overwhelming feeling of confusion and not being able to comprehend that that’s what I looked like and that it was me in the mirror. Sometimes if I catch my own eye in the mirror after a shower naked it’s even worse, with clothes on it’s mostly just confusion and disassociation but naked high levels of frustration get added to the mix. I was so for a gyno visit (now that I’m out of the pediatric system I have a great gyno/ob that listens to all my concerns and explains things fully before she does anything, during, and after) so I finally sat down and did some research on CAH. I found out that a small % of people with CAH and XX chromosomes go on to develop some form of gender dysphoria. So me and my Dr made a plan: first I’m off the birth control cause she could see how bothered I was by it now, especially finding out I was forced on it for 5 years with no other options or explain actions given and it has done nothing but stop the cysts (which I know is important) but then went on to also extremely hurt me physically and mentally in the long run. She also recommended me an endocrinologist to redo the blood tests; she wants to see if it’s possible for my body to sustain itself without medical intervention, regardless of the CAH. She also recommended a gender dysphoria specialized therapist (which I didn’t know existed!) since I honestly have no clue what I identify as or what I really want, all I know is no more birth control 😅. All in all I was wondering if anyone else has experienced something like this even if maybe it was just one of the things I mentioned I’d love to hear what your treatment was and how you felt before during and after if you’re willing to share. Hearing others experience, treatment, and just how I should expect some of to go that would be awesome and maybe some tips for experimenting with my identity that may have helped y’all out if you have any lol. Please no medical like tips/advice though as that is against the rules.
TLDR cause I basically wrote a dissertation about my life: I was wondering if anyone has experienced being suddenly diagnosed with CAH and being forced on birth control with no explanation of the med or treatment plan and has/is experiencing gender dysphoria. Even if you may just fit one of these I was wondering what your treatment plan was or if you have any advice that might help. Just to clarify I’m asking for anecdotes i.e. how your treatment was and how you felt maybe if you’ve been to gender dysphoria specialized therapy and what it was like. Not treatment advice i.e. what you think I or my Dr should do for my treatment etc. I feel like hearing others experience and knowing a bit of what to expect may help some of my anxiety and nerves, this feels like it’s happening so fast 😅
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2023.06.09 04:18 raFabulous-Mom AITA for telling my MIL the truth?
I (24F) have been with my husband (25M) for nearly 8 years now. We are high school sweethearts & got married on our 5 year dating anniversary back in 2020.
Ever since I can remember, I have felt my MIL (59F) hates me. She has always made me feel very unloved & unwanted. Recently, her & my FIL (56M) slipped up & revealed they have disliked me for a long time, which shed to light the reasons behind me feeling unwanted.
We agreed we needed to sit down and have a discussion, & during this conversation, my MIL revealed that her distain for me started on our wedding day. We got COVID 5 days before the wedding & had to cancel everything. I cried for days. We still wanted to move forward with the wedding as it was our 5 year anniversary & we decided since we already had the marriage license, we would just get married over zoom.
I had many friends who went all out to drop things off on my doorstep to make that day incredible. My in laws had reached out to help & were asked to bring us a box, a table, & flowers for our big day. We were very appreciative and thanked them for going out of their way. My MIL also asked if she could bring a tablecloth & pictures of us and our families, to which I declined because I wanted it to be very simple, & made clear the only thing I wanted to be set on the table was my bouquet, our vow books, my laptop, & the box with a hammer & nails for our ceremony.
I had written the entire ceremony myself & had included this beautiful box closing ceremony where you write letters to each other on your wedding day, seal them, and place them in a box with a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. The idea was that on your five year anniversary you open the box, share a glass of wine, & reflect on how far your relationship has progressed. Then you write new letters, get a new bottle, & seal the box again for another 5 years and so on and so forth.
The day of our wedding, my in laws were running late & showed up probably 10 minutes prior to the ceremony, so my husband was RUSHING to get everything set up. I do not want it to seem like we are ungrateful, we were EXTREMELY grateful, & we were not upset they were late.
I was not aware, however, that my MIL was going to do everything I told her I didn’t want. She printed off many pictures of us & relatives that were no longer alive (some that we had never even met). & this wasn’t just one or two, this was 6 large frames. I understand the sentiment behind what she was trying to do, but I had clearly communicated that I was not looking to have anything extra on the table. She brought the tablecloth used at her own wedding, made a flower display for the table, had champagne glasses & champagne, a fake candle, & two carrot cake cupcakes (which neither my husband & I even like carrot cake). She went all out to decorate our table in the way SHE wanted our wedding to go.
When we were finally are ready to start, I walked out, and it was magical. My husband had tears in his eyes, and i felt so beautiful. After we stopped the music & our officiant started the ceremony, I noticed the table was crowded with items, however there was one thing missing - the box, with the hammer & nails, which was the most important part of our ceremony aside from our vows and kiss. I start whispering to my husband but he was equally confused, & we ended up missing the first 5 minutes trying to problem solve. When we got to the part of the ceremony where we were suppose to seal the box, we had to excuse ourselves to pick the box off the ground, where it had been placed off to the side by our AC unit, then we had to clear the table to make room for it to continue the ceremony. I was so upset, but I did not let this ruin my day. I was grateful they helped, regardless of how upset I was she hijacked my wedding, and opted to not say anything. My husband & I commented about it that night while we spent it alone just us two in our house. We laughed & added it to the list of all the things that went wrong, & said all of it didn’t matter because we were now married & we did it despite all odds against us.
I never said anything to anyone regarding this and kept this to myself, up until our conversation two nights ago. When my MIL brought it up & said that this led to her disliking me, I decided it was time to share my perspective. I told her that we had a discussion prior to the wedding day where she asked if I wanted a tablecloth or pictures & I told her no. I told her exactly what I wanted on the table & only asked her to bring a table, flowers, & the box we would use for the ceremony, snd she exploded. She told me I ruined everything & that we would never be able to repair our relationship, all because I told her it was not what I wanted for my wedding. She claimed that it was disrespectful for me to not appreciate those things because it was her way of including her parents that had passed away. I tried to explain to her that it’s not fair to be upset with me because that was not my vision & I had communicated that to her, & I felt she did those things for herself despite me saying that was not at all what I wanted, but she wouldn’t hear it. She stated it was HER sons wedding, so she was able to do whatever she wants, but my husband & I agreed on everything for OUR day, but because it didn’t come from my husband, she didn’t take me seriously.
In my eyes, I had many other people that were willing to help, & had I known she was going to do what she wanted and not follow my requests, I would’ve never accepted the help in the first place.
So, am I the asshole for being honest with my MIL & telling her although I appreciate the help, I don’t appreciate that she went against what I said I wanted and made my wedding day all about her?
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2023.06.09 04:17 violetsky444 was I the one giving non-committal vibes in a situationship I was in that committed to someone after me??
posting here because I really need an unbiased opinion. I met a guy through my housemates. we matched on tinder where his profile said he was looking for "short but open to long", hit it off, and before winter break he invited me to come over and watch a movie. he kissed me and was willing for it to go further but I stopped it bc it was late. he went on vacation for the break but we texted every day, and this is where I caught feelings bc it was long flirty messages. when he got back, he asked me to come over again and initiated us hooking up. his texts got progressively shorter. we became regular fwb, I always wanted more but we were in a shared friend group and I didnt want to make it weird. he'd breadcrumb me a bit with vague comments about his feelings or did the odd little gesture (brought me a little gift from his trips, got me LATE valentines choclates bc he didnt know the vibe) t whenever I asked I got "I dont know what im looking for" or "we can still talk to other people". I felt he had many chances to ask me out (I.e. I missed a bar night and he said I should come next time but never offered to take me) but always instead said stuff like "come over watch a movie tonight?" which was just sex so i didnt bother planning dates. he also acted as if hookups were the norm for him (mentioned a few of them and did things like keep makeup wipes in his room) when he suggested we go back to just friends in april when we moved back home he said he hoped i'd understand bc I didnt seem like I wanted a relationship, which confused me bc I'd said that to my roommates but they wouldnt have told him until after multiple hu's that he initiated
now I find out through social media that he has a girlfriend not even 2 months later. I cant help but feel like shit about myself and the flat out fact that he is a relationship guy, i obviously just wasnt good enough for him to like me outside of sex. but im also overthinking whether I played it too cool by never confessing my feelings and pushed him away, even though he got really standoffish every time I asked what we were. despite this, am I wrong? is there something I did wrong or more I could have done?
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2023.06.09 04:17 CommunityOwn3980 I used to be emotionally strong, optimistic and excited about life…
Does anyone else feel like DPDR took their emotional and mental strength away? I used to be able to work through my emotions and still live my life fully, moments of depression, anxiety, happiness, sadness, excitement- they would all come and go. Never lasted more than a few days.
Now I’ve had this statement of numbness and unreality for 9 months now. My acceptance of it is not making it any better, I feel like the life I used to live has been taken from me, I’m worried about everything. Paralyzed to make decisions, numb. Not excited, not engaged.
I wish we knew more about DPDR to help people get better, it’s so hard to make it day to day when you feel so detached, so numb, so disconnected from reality and yourself. I’ve almost stopped believing that it will ever get better - because even though it’s not as intense as a few months ago, I am nowhere near myself.
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2023.06.09 04:16 Any_Cheetah_2456 Moving in with my partner...I'm worried
After talking about it for several months, my partner (41m) and I (31m) now officially live together as of two weeks ago. The problem: I'm having a hard time adjusting all of the sudden.
For background purposes: I left my apartment of 3 years to cohabitate with my partner in his (now "our") house. We are engaged to be married.
My partner is great. He's been friendly, welcoming, and ultimately very accommodating. He is less of the problem. I'm intimidated by living in this house. So many of the things in it are his. He has *a lot* of things. He's been open to getting rid of some of it, claiming he has no ties to most of the things here. But I can't escape feeling like I'm living in someone else's house -- no matter how many times he calls it ours. I know moving in with a partner takes time, but I'm worried about never feeling settled. It's important that I'm able to maintain a sense of myself and my identity in where I live. I don't know how to do go about doing that here. In my only experience living with a partner, we moved together into an entirely new space because neither of us owned a house.
We've been clashing a little in the past few days (though it's mainly been me). I'm stressed.
Has anyone been through something similar? Any tips? Suggestions?
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2023.06.09 04:16 throwaway001100q Seeing big business get into cannabis has helped me out
Visiting nyc a few weeks ago, the sheer amount of head shops, ads, people smoking, and tax revenue has made the trap all more clear. It's now big cannabis, wanting you to get addicted and keep smoking.
I see anti vaping ads talking about big tobacco, to a similar effect. (That you're falling in corporate interests as an addicted consumer of their products)
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