All dressed humpty dumpty chips

To try to make this post as short as possible, my partner and I have been talking marriage things, I've always wanted an outdoor fall wedding, and we've gone back and forth with whether we want to have a tiny ceremony this year, or a slightly less tiny ceremony next year, but whichever we end up doing, it's got me wanting to go into planning mode. Some details I'm looking at but not entirely sold on:

• Black and red or black and purple as the colors, I'd be happy with either
• As much made-by-us decor as possible, centerpieces, guest gifts, invitations, maybe even cake, doing everything by hand as we possibly can
• Small means, including plus ones and assuming everyone actually shows up, between the two of us is about 40 guests on the guest list
• No set-in-stone budget, but obviously, low as possible is great

I've thought about wedding day things since I was a kid, so there is a level of importance to it, enough to not just throw everything together overnight and oh well if it doesn't work out, but I can say that I'm not looking for some pristine, traditional event. We've looked at some outdoor venues, debated air bnb for a venue (I'm iffy about that one, even though it's much cheaper, apparently it's getting hard for hosting parties, and neighbors and all). I've browsed dresses on Amazon for less than $200 and based on review photos, for a one-time use they're honestly pretty decent, enough to try out and return if it's not what I want. For guest favors, I love the idea of old-school trick-or-treat baskets. Center pieces, handmade, lanterns with flowers and candles inside unless I happen across another DIY idea that I like more. My biggest worry is I'm going to find myself in this limbo of dark and goth-y, kitschy cutesy Halloween, and general fall that would be battling each other.
Has anyone had a small wedding with that sort of theme? Where did your budget end up, and what advice do you have based on how yours went? I'm going out on a limb and saying it would definitely be next year - as enticing as a Friday the 13th wedding in October is. Realistically though, I don't know how much could get done in less than 5 months.

So this may sound weird but are there no other pictures of his parents besides the ones used all the time? Even in their obit it’s the same pic. There’s no pic in dress clothes they could use? I just find it odd.

I'm ugly, I'm broke, my penis is average sized, I don't know how to dress, my hair is consistently a mess, my self harm scars are disgusting, I'm pale as a ghost, my teeth are all crooked and yellow, my eyebags are massive, and I'm scrawny and skinny. I'm nobody's type and even if I was I still have nothing to offer. I don't even have a car at the moment. FML

Discord Username: Lira#0001
Character Name and House: Brynden Blackwood, Heir of Raventree Hall
Age: 26
Appearance: Brynden has an outwardly brooding appearance due to his black hair and light colored skin, and because of his preference for dark clothing. His features are sharp, symmetrical, commonly regarded as pleasing to the eye. Many decide he is moody with just a glance. It may or may not be true.
Gift: Duelist
Skills: Polearm(M), Sword, Riding
Talent(s): Jousting, Dueling, Gambling
Starting Title(s): Heir of Raventree Hall
Starting Location: Feast
Family Tree: https://www.familyecho.com/?p=SBN4N&c=xglklz3jnz&f=323936472302154026 (will undergo a few changes until Bled and RW get their apps in)
—
Character Name and House: Benjicot Blackwood, Lord of Raventree Hall
Age: 49
Appearance: Benjicot has an obvious familial resemblance to his sister, the late Queen Bethany Blackwood, when it comes to facial structure and coloring. He has a full beard and mustache, and stony, distrusting eyes. He favors subdued colors and styles when it comes to clothing, and wears multiple layers, even in hot weather. He is known for his slow, careful manner of speech.
Gift: Whisperer
Skills: Cautious, Subtle(E)
Talent(s): Sharp Memory, Cyvasse, Recordkeeping
Starting Title(s): Master of Whisperers
Starting Location: Feast
—
Brynden Blackwood - Timeline
181 A.C. Brynden is the secondborn son of Benjicot Blackwood and _____ (pending). He is barely a year younger than Tytos, the heir's heir, and two share such a likeness from childhood that they are constantly mistaken for twins.
184 A.C. Bethany Blackwood, Brynden's aunt on his father's side, wed Prince Maelor Targaryen. Brynden attended the totally-not-king-approved ceremony as a child and has no recollection at all of the event, though even then, he sensed it was a sign of changing tides for his family. This prestigious marriage opened many doors, and many more friendships, with the elites of the kingdom, particularly for the nephews and nieces of the queen, who would come to hold various positions around the court—playmates, cupbearers, ladies in waiting, clerks, and normal, everyday acquaintances to the most powerful people in the realm.
185 A.C. The brothers Tytos and Brynden picked up their first playswords, sparking the boys' interest in martial pursuits. Many years later, their youngest uncle Roderik would gradually teach the boys how to fight with the sword and how to ride on horseback. Oftentimes Uncle Roose would offer his own expertise.
186 A.C. Lord Hoster Blackwood succumbed to lung sickness barely a year after witnessing the birth of Prince Daeron, his first grandchild by Queen Bethany. He died believing his grandson would one day sit the Iron Throne. Brynden's father officially became Lord of Raventree Hall. One of his first acts was to support his brother in law, Prince Maelor, in the conflict in Dorne. He sent his own brothers, Roose, Samwell, and Roderik, to assist with the fighting. Samwell was killed in the campaign.
187 A.C. Shortly after Brynden's uncle was crowned King Maelor II Targaryen, Lord Blackwood acquired a position on the small council as Master of Whisperers. It was a step up from the Riverrun title that Benjicot and Lothar Bracken had fruitlessly quarreled over for nearly a decade.
193-197 A.C. By twelve, the brothers Tytos and Brynden have become skilled with the sword. Tytos would strive to become a master, while Brynden found his attentions drifting to contests of skill. Already a talented duelist, he set his sights on the unfamiliar polearm, and horse—skills he could employ together to eke out surprising performances on the field. While Tytos dreamed of lordship, Brynden wanted nothing more than to drink in the thrill of the tourney ground, particularly in the melee and jousting arenas. In 196 AC, their cousin Prince Daeron died in a tragic accident.
198 A.C. Tytos the Heir wed the beauty Melantha Vypren against the knowledge and wishes of his father. Lord Blackwood, with the influence of his queen sister, arranges a betrothal with the heir of the Vale, Jeyne Arryn, in a bid for power. Though Brynden was disinterested in a match so far from home--both King's Landing and Raventree Hall--he reluctantly agreed, so long as his wife-to-be did not turn her nose up at his love for the duel. He accepted the counsel of his betters and began writing to his betrothed.
202 A.C. The pair exchanged letters for four years and developed an unexpected friendship and bond, so much so that Lady Jeyne agreed to meet him in Raventree Hall, an event that had catastrophic consequences and tragically led to her death in the mountains of the Vale. In the same year, Tytos the Heir was killed at the Pennytree Ford by a hostile scouting party led by the murderer, Raymund Bracken. The Blackwood party would have been decimated if not for the presence of their uncles, Roose and Roderik Blackwood, who were dealt the unenviable position of carrying their nephew's bloodied body home.
Rumors circulate regarding a thousand-gold bounty on Raymund Bracken's head--or five hundred for each of his grown children. This "rumor" continues today, but extends to any Bracken scion.
204 A.C. Queen Bethany Blackwood dies from an extended battle with a coughing sickness, following years marked with numerous miscarriages and mysterious ailments.
205 A.C. At a Maidenpool Tourney celebrating the birth of Lord Mooton's granddaughter, Sabitha Mooton, hostilities reach a boiling point. Failing to rig a match between Brynden and Raymund Bracken in the joust, the Blackwoods Roose and Roderik take matters into their own hands. They pay off fighters in the melee and orchestrate a two-on-one duel against the man's nephew, Harry Bracken, heir of Stonehedge. The lad puts up an admirable fight but there is no contest as the brothers all but butcher him for all to see. Even before it was determined the Bracken was dead, the Blackwood contingent fled Maidenpool for home, and began raising banners and allies both. Bracken did the same with fervor, and before long, thousands of men were mobilizing for war.
Lady Alyssa Tully ordered both lords to stand down--an order that was met with flat refusal. The Crown was pulled in, and King Maelor dispatched his Hand of the King to put an end to hostilities... in Blackwood's favor.
207 A.C. Brynden remains a perpetual bachelor, refusing orders to marry and ignoring threats of disinheritance. He continues his ill fated romancing and foolish carousing, much to the chagrin of his father.
---
Lord Benjicot Blackwood - Timeline ( Brynden's section covers the more recent Blackwood lore)
158 A.C. Benjicot is born to Lord Hoster Blackwood and Zia Lothston. He is the first of six. He receives tutelage and training customary for an heir, as well as a follower of The Old Gods.
160-164 A.C. His formative years were spent in winter, a time when he was often sickly. Where he failed in physical studies, he excelled in those of the mind. His mother encouraged these lessons, and over time, glimpses of his true calling manifested in the smallest of ways. He had a keen memory, almost photographic, if one judged by the journals of a boy who was fond of note taking and drawing. Over time, hundreds of books contained observations from his people watching; accounts of conversations that took place and speculation behind the purpose and meaning behind each meeting; sketches of even the most innocuous details, such as the pieces of jewelry one wore and around whom, or the peculiar smile one gave a dancing partner they should not have known well.
When he could not be physically present, he would command servants or bribe convenient witnesses to spy on his victims and report back with their findings. Over the course of many months, many years, he began to see patterns in behavior. Strange patterns that seemingly went unnoticed by the masses--details that hinted at secrets and many a backdoor dealing.
178 A.C. By the time he reached adulthood, he had obtained a mind for intrigue, as well as a method to acquire resources for his information gathering. He was wed to _____ (still pending).
180 A.C. Benjicot's first child, Tytos, is born.
181 A.C. Brynden is born, a striking copy to Tytos.
183 A.C. A third son, Quentyn, is born. Unlike his older brothers, Quentyn proves to be average in every regard except for his sharp mind, though in a different manner than Benjicot's. Quentyn is a leader, a logistician, capable of managing resources and moving pieces.
186 A.C. Following the death of Lord Hoster, Benjicot rose to lordship and simultaneously accepted the position of Master of Whisperers in Maelor II's court. He leaves command of Raventree Hall to his oldest brother, Roose Blackwood, though the power would eventually pass to Benjicot's son Quentyn.
187 A.C. After a spell of infertility, the couple welcomes their first daughter, Shiera, and her twin, Tristifer. Shiera is a difficult, needy child, traits that carry to adulthood. She has a striking resemblance to her aunt, Queen Bethany, which grants her an aura of regality. Tristifer, on the other hand, is a comely and mild mannered child, happy to go along with his older siblings' whims.
189 A.C. Lady Blackwood gives birth before passing to childbed fever. The girl is named Alys, who develops into a malleable and curious child--one accustomed to living in another's shadow and without the guidance of a mother. Like her father, Alys is observant, an artist and pupil of the world. Like her sister Shiera, she becomes a steadfast lady-in-waiting to Queen Bethany.
196 A.C. Prince Daeron Targaryen, Benjicot's nephew, dies in an accident. Shortly after, Bethany miscarries. It is not the first and many follow, each tragedy chipping away at the pillar of influence set in place by Benjicot.
201 A.C. Benjicot is displeased but not surprised when Maelor names Aegon his heir, rather than his niece, Aerea.
202 A.C. Following his son's murder, Benjicot puts bounties on Bracken heads, particularly those belonging to Raymund Bracken and his children. He removes Tytos' daughter, Betha, from the line of succession, much to the dismay of Tytos' widow.
204 A.C. Benjicot is with Maelor when news comes of Bethany's passing. He becomes a shoulder to lean on for his no-longer-goodbrother, and the friendship they had continues to grow.
205 A.C. Benjicot receives news of Maidenpool from his son, Quentyn. He is elated to hear of the Bracken's death. An eye for an eye, an heir for an heir. He sends warning to Raventree that the Hand of the King is coming.
206 A.C. Maelor confides in Benjicot his plans to remarry, and Benjicot keeps the secret, but begins making moves to cement his steadily waning power. He attempts to force Brynden into a marriage. Threats go nowhere and he resorts to arranging matches for his daughters, who he had hoped to marry to influential figures in the realm.

I've used the Belkin and now Anker's thunderBolt 4 hubs for connecting 2 4K monitors and the problems are the same on my MBP14" M2.
Problems are with waking up from sleep... Sometimes only one monitor comes on. Sometimes the displays are re-arranged (swapped) And then the most annoying is that sometimes one of the displays just wouldn't turn off automatically and I'm left with the screen on with the last static image for hours (all night) Sometimes, a monitor would stay off when I try to wake em up and I'll have to unplug and plug back in to turn it on
Anyone know what's going on? Are the M2 chips not designed to handle a thunderbolt4 hub?
Am I better off just using them without a hub?
Thanks

For some reason it takes a long time for pics to be uploaded. So this is the text review of a review I started 8 days ago.
The journey I was looking for a middle eastern/Arabic scent, so I bought Dehn Al Oudh Pure Agarwood Incense (LOL) from Nandita (not pictured). The stick had some sort of acrid vinegary smell blended in with the Arabic scent. It was like drinking Coke Zero, it tastes just like Coke while you’re drinking it, but once you put the can down, there’s a bitterness in the aftertaste. I really liked the pungent scent though, so Iread though a lot or reviews on Amazon and bought Koya’s Oudh. Koya was $12 for a box of about 20 (not pictured) instead of $2 for Dehn. This incense smells really good! It’s a blend of the deep pungent Arabic scent I was looking (I don’t know the name of it) and plums or blackberries with vanilla maybe. The fruit scent on top of the Arabic scent worked well together. The layering of the scents was done well IMO, especially for $12. The fruity scent (about 60%) is light and relaxing while the pungent Arabic scent (about 40%) draws you in making a dichotomous scent where your brain has to keep smelling it, not just because it smells really good, but because it’s trying to understand the difference between the two.
Someone on here recommended bakhoor. I though bakhoor was the stuff people smoked from hookahs, so I looked it up and found it’s the Arabic scent I was looking for. I went back on Amazon and found a variety box from Dukhni called Oud Dukhni Bakhoor (not pictured). It has 20 small individually wrapped pressed chips containing 10 different fragrances. It looks like particle board mixed with chocolate lol. The square chips were perfumed, with no layering and the texture of the scent was pretty much one note. They reminded me of HEM incense, not bad once you find a scent you like, but that scent with get boring sense there’s not much for your brain to chew on. Next I bought Bait Al Arab by Swiss Arabian. It got good reviews on Amazon and it’s got Arabian in the name so I thought this was going to be amazing, it was not. It smelled straight up like old grandma, which I found out smells like rose. The pieces where heavily perfumed molded chips. The next three I bought are my favorites that I’m reviewing below.
The review:

1. Oudh Nassam by Nabeel: This was exactly what I was looking for! The scent is amazing! If you like darker more masculine Arabic incense, you’ll love Nassam. It draws you in by creating an amazing pungent middle eastern scent and instead of layering the smell of fruit with the Arabic scent like Koya, when burning it, you dont realize the lighter scents exist because of the strong pungent scent until a split second after you inhale and then your brain detects them and they mix with the scent that draws you in. I think it’s why I like it so much, plus it’s composed of 22 different ingredients.
   
2. Oudh Nabeel: This is a lighter scent. At first I was going to return it because I wanted it to be like Nassam, but I was so impressed with Nassam I decided to try it for a while and see if it would change my mind. It did. The lighter scent really grew on me. It’s not floral. TBH, I don’t know what it is. I read the ingredients and don’t recognize 90% of them. It’s not a cheap one note wonder kind of smell, it has structure and depth. The best I can describe it is Nassam is a wonderful exciting scent and Oudh Nabeel is relaxing, happy, billowing cloud, take you’re stress away type of scent.
   

Nabeel has all their Bakhoor incense listed side by side (at least on Amazon) with all the ingredients of each scent in order of top notes, middle notes and base notes, which lets me steer clear of all the bakhoor with rose in it. The incense comes in glass jars with 60 grams in each jar. The incense consists of pieces of wood soaked in bakhoor juice or some type of proprietary liquid made by Nabeel.

1. Bakhoor Sheeba by Dukhni: This incense consisted of 40 grams of 4-5 large molded brickettes. It’s not as textured or layered as Nabeel. It has more of a perfume smell to it and it’s $2 less. Dukhni says the scent is “a woody uplifting blend”. The woody non floral scent is overtaken by the perfumeyness of the scent IMO. It’s not bad though.

From what I’ve tried so far from Dukhni, it’s a lesser quality bakhoor versus Nabeel and Nabeel wins out on value because it comes in $60 gram jars for $16 vs 40 gram jars for $14. I’ll still try Dukhni incense though because I like a perfumey smell every once in a while.

Are you new to the keto diet and feeling overwhelmed about what foods to buy? A well-stocked kitchen can make all the difference when starting a new way of eating. Here is a beginner's keto shopping list to help get you started:

1. Meat: Beef, chicken, turkey, pork, lamb, and other animal proteins are staples of the keto diet. Look for grass-fed, organic options whenever possible.
2. Seafood: Fish and shellfish are also great sources of protein on the keto diet. Look for fatty fish like salmon and sardines, which are high in omega-3 fatty acids.
3. Vegetables: Non-starchy vegetables are a must on the keto diet. Stock up on leafy greens like spinach and kale, as well as broccoli, cauliflower, zucchini, and asparagus.
4. Fruits: While fruit should be limited on the keto diet due to its sugar content, berries like strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries can be enjoyed in moderation.
5. Nuts and seeds: Almonds, walnuts, macadamia nuts, chia seeds, and flaxseeds are all great sources of healthy fats and can be used to add crunch to salads or snacks.
6. Dairy: Cheese, butter, heavy cream, and full-fat yogurt are all great sources of fat on the keto diet. Just be sure to watch your dairy intake if you're sensitive to lactose.
7. Oils and fats: Olive oil, coconut oil, avocado oil, and ghee are all great cooking fats for the keto diet. You can also use them to make salad dressings or add healthy fats to your meals.
8. Sweeteners: While sugar is off-limits on the keto diet, there are still sweeteners that can be used in moderation. Stevia, erythritol, and monk fruit are all popular keto-friendly sweeteners.

Remember, it's important to read labels and check for hidden carbs and sugars. With this keto shopping list, you'll be well on your way to stocking your kitchen with healthy, low-carb options. Happy shopping!
What are your go-to keto foods? Share your favorite keto shopping list items in the comments below.

Hey all,
I'm hosting a unraked 0.25c/0.50c Texas Hold'em Poker game tomorrow (June 1st) at 7pm in Richmond. We will also have a dedicated dealer all night long. Post below if interested and I'll send you a private message with further details.
Current seats available: 6.
Start time: June 1st, 7:00 PM Sharp.
End time: 3:00 AM
Payment: Cash, no e-transfers.
Max players: 10
Min buy-in: $50
Max initial buy-in: $150 or Up to 2/3rds of biggest stack
Top up: You can top up to 2/3rds of biggest stack.
Rake: No rake
Chips: Professional quality chips
Venue: Large living room in a modern apartment. Vape & weed friendly. Can smoke on balcony.
Crowd: Diverse group of guys in our late 20s to late 30s. All ages/genders welcome.
Parking: Plenty of free parking near the apartment.
Food: Bring your own, Or chip in for pizza around 10 PM. You can pay with chips from your stack.
Drinks: Water is provided, BYOB.

So reading some posts here made me think you guys might enjoy this. (TLDR: I snuck backstage at WCW Thunder in college)
I was in college in 1999 and a huge fan of WCW. The other guys were cool but I was a WCW guy. So Thunder was scheduled in Memphis at the Mid-South Coliseum and me and a couple friends are gonna go.
Well in the week leading up to the show I decide I’m going to meet some of the guys. Not sure how but I’m doing it.
I wore a blue Oxford shirt with a tie and had a pen and a tire gauge in my shirt pocket. Sounds dumb but it makes you look like you are working.
I made up some business cards from the college radio station and a newspaper that my friends and I wrote. Created a fake “tour” itinerary and had some bullshit papers on a clipboard. This I learned from the movie The Paper: “A clipboard and a confident wave will get you into any building in the world!” This is very very true.
I had my friend circle the building and drop me off around back. We were pretty early. There were two huge 18-wheelers backed up to the loading area and I walked between them.
When I came out, nobody was really watching and I just walked steady like I was headed somewhere and tried my best to be chill.
I walked by the dressing room and there was a huge dry erase board with all the matches for the show listed. Each match also had a time beside it so the guys knew how long they had and they would each check the board as they came out.
I knew that was where I wanted to be but there was a security guy in a folding chair right by the dressing room. So I kept walking and a couple hundred feet later I found a room with a bunch of phones and fax machines. This was when cell phones weren’t super common so I guess they needed a lot of landlines.
So at that point I walked to the security guy I had seen and in a very annoyed tone say to him:
“Where the hell are the fax machines?! I swear to God every time we come to this place they put them somewhere new!!”
“Um, sir, I’m not sure but maybe-“
I just held up my hand. “Nevermind, I will find them. I always do. But this is ridiculous” and I storm off back the way I came.
Went back to the fax room and cooled my heels for a minute. Tried to call a friend on the phones but I guess you needed a code for it to work.
But now that the security guy knew I was legit I could hang by the board, right?
I walk back down the hall and I spy Norman Smiley who was low key one of my favorite guys at that point. But I just made eye contact and nodded and he did the same. “Just act like you belong” I kept telling myself.
Then I see a guy in a headset…with a bunch of lanyards making a beeline right for me. Busted! It was fun while it lasted. He steps right up to me and says:
“Jimmy Hart left his phone in some lady’s car so it’s waiting for him at will-call, but I gotta go. Will you find him and tell him?”
“Absolutely! I will take care of it.” …and now I had a mission!
So I start wandering around asking after Jimmy Hart. Got to talk to DDP (really tall) and Chris Jericho. Billy Kidman and Rey Mysterio (without his mask which was crazy to me at the time) were very cool. I asked my fav security guard and he told me to check in the dressing room. I strolled in and asked if they had seen Jimmy Hart and nobody had. But one of the guys told me to knock on “The War Room”.
At the front of the dressing room was a closed door with a sign on it that had “War Room” written in sharpie. I knocked on the door and a voice said “Yeah?”
I open the door and there are four guys in there. Some guy I didn’t recognize, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and ARN ANDERSON! I swear to you my knees got weak when I saw the Enforcer!
Somehow I spit out my bit about Jimmy Hart and a phone and they said no and I shut the door. I went back to the board and just chilled. I had to catch my breath. I started scribbling the names of all the wrestlers I saw and just laughed along as they all hung out by the board and shot the shit.
Eventually though I hear someone say “Hey, have you got a pass?” I look over and who do I see? Jimmy Hart!! I gave him a weak line about not being given one and he says “Nah, come on buddy.”
So he walks me over to Dillenger (head of security) but was super friendly and nice. I ask him if he got his phone, he did. I gave him one of my cards and then they escort me out. And I went to the gate with my ticket and then met up with my friends and enjoyed a great show!
They actually taped two episodes of Thunder that night, so I still got to watch a ton of wrestling and it was an awesome night that I will never forget!!
Jimmy Hart was cool as hell even when he kicked me out. And he was wearing a cool musical themed jacket and tie. Perfectly on point.
This could never happen now with all the security now but every bit of this is true! WCW always be my favorite.

Any of y’all happen to have a Django3 chip? I’m trynna complete my mega chip since I’m 44/45 of mega chips and I want to access the graveyard 2 area
Definitely much appreciated!

ACCELERATE ON THE DOWNSWING.
I literally haven't thought about anything on my chips except accelerating when I come through on the ball with essentially a putting motion. It has me not thinking about trying to lift the club (and letting the loft do the work) and my duffs are way down. Speed it up (controlled, obviously) and let the club work. Wow. That is all.

Outside of Jokic, the entire Nuggets roster has 1 aggregate all-star appearance (DeAndre Jordan).
If you look at the roster of every single NBA Champion historically and remove the best player from the equation, no other supporting cast has had only 1 all-star season combined amongt the entire group. Granted some of the years this is because there is an aging veteran with multiple former all-star appearances on their resume, but regardless it's a pretty amazing stat.
I manually went through every roster on the BBallRef list, so it's possible I missed something but feel free to check my work: https://www.basketball-reference.com/playoffs/
No roster since the 1951-52 Rochester Royals has had fewer "non-best player" all-star appearances. In that year the Royals had only one all-star credential on the whole team, Bob Davies, who had one ASG under his belt but was actually the second leading scorer on that championship squad behind Arnie Risen, who wouldn't make his first all-star appearance until the next year 1952-1953.
Fun fact, the NBA was started in 1950, when the NBL merged with the BAA.
TL:DR: If Jokic wins the chip he will be doing so with historically few all-star appearances amongst his supporting cast.

I’m a single mother who wasn’t cut out for hard labor. I’m to ugly to do porn but I’m to pretty for Burger King. I’m just existing until opportunity comes into my life through the back door.
Let’s start somewhat in the beginning- I was born in Mendocino County California. Directly on the coast in Fort Bragg, on February 10th, 1998. I’m 25 years old, but I will leave the rest of the boring details of an uneventful and traumatic childhood for a different “poor me” post.
For now, I’m going to tell Reddit all about my chronic laziness problem and inflated expectations/ego. I need to tell someone in depth why it is that I get fed up with a aspiring relationship before I even go out with a man, but also, why it is that I can’t find a man that wants to put up with me for the rest of forever. Firstly, I not a worker, I have not ever thought about what I wanted to do in terms of a lifelong career because, well, that just seems like a really long time to have a job to me. I worked in the legal cannabis industry trimming weed for a distributor, but I started talking to this man on the dating app Plenty of Fish, one thing led to another and I quit my trimming job because I got offered an opportunity to “audition” for porn.
I didn’t have my own vehicle so I bought a greyhound ticket and told my mom I was going to meet a guy in the city to try out for a part in an adult film. I should mention that the man that I was going to see in the motel for my… interview lol… was not the man that I had talked to on Plenty of Fish, the guy on plenty of fish set me up with the opportunity to meet the guy in the hotel. My mom was obviously upset by the fact that I was so willingly to jump at this chance and didn’t even think twice about how I could probably end up getting murdered by this man-in- a-motel-room. So naturally, she drove me down to the city because she didn’t want to seem unsupportive and she got a room in the same hotel as me.
I probably don’t need to say this but I’m going to just in case some of us are a little slower than others… Yes, I slept with the potential murderer. He had me show him what I could do lol, my mom and I stayed in the city for two days while I was interviewed and then we left and he said he would put together a small script and work me into a part then he would get ahold of me when we were ready to film. If we are still a little behind, no, he never called me back with a script, I got porn catfished! I made an Onlyfans account after that and was in the 10% of creator’s for a long time, but it was hard to find and keep subscribers and my boyfriend at the time started focusing all of our content on his genitalia and that didn’t fly with my subscribers who came to see my solo content.
I know that I’m not a 10. I am fully aware of the fact that I am not all that and a bag of chips and I am definitely not everyone’s cup of tea because I’m probably a fat dab. In my own mind I’m pretty enough that one day I will find someone who will want to take care of me financially, put up with my bad ass attitude and accept the fact that my attitude will never change. I am the woman that will wake up with you everyday at 4:30 AM to make coffee and packs your lunch before sending you off to work. I will take care of the kids, do all the household chores and perform oral sex every night as long as I don’t have to work anymore, but I also won’t even consider a relationship with anyone I find less attractive than myself no matter how lavish the lifestyle and that has caused a dilemma.

It was late in the morning when Adam woke from his dreamless sleep. Warm sunlight poured through the cracks between the window blinds, casting bars of shadow along his naked body.
Sleeping naked was a habit he had picked up from Jen. She had insisted upon it, to his great bemusement. Because why would a man wear clothes to keep warm in bed when a woman could do the job much better? Being a young man, Adam couldn’t find fault in that particular orcish custom.
But some orcish customs… Adam had learned how disruptive they could be.
Adam threw his legs over the side of the bed so that he sat upright. He stared off into space, frowning.
Disqualified.
Somewhere in his mind, in a hazy construct of the great hall back home, that word hung over his portrait on a gilded plaque. Right next to the words Disappointment and Failure.
Adam shook his head, groaning. Was it frustration? Disgust? Adam couldn’t tell. He knew the thought was absurd. His family wouldn’t disown him for losing a tourney much less getting disqualified from one - especially since getting kicked out wasn’t even his fault.
The Castermans were a proud, ancient house, this was true. But they didn’t put so much value on trophies and medals and honors the way other Stakari houses did. They would never consider tossing their youngest aside… But that didn’t stop Adam from feeling fear and doubt.
Every young man who ever lived feared being a disappointment to his family. And as the fourth son of his father’s line, Adam had the unenviable position of being measured against his older brothers. Royce, Dane, and Garen, loving and supportive as they were, weren’t simply his older brothers. They were titans, looming tall and casting their shadows over their baby brother.
His brothers had all been exceptional at the paths they chose. Military man, beast wrangler, and a bonafide wizard. All impressive and noble occupations. Of course Adam was happy for them. But his brothers had set some incredibly high standards. All through his youth, the youngest Casterman feared he would never measure up.
But then, in his teens, Adam discovered his passion for history. Stories of kings, warriors, tyrants, and heroes. Of great bloody battles and fallen cities. Of ferocious beasts and mighty slayers. Adam drank it all in like a man finding an oasis after wandering lost through the desert sands. Especially so for the history of his home, the Kingdom of Stakaria, as well as his family and his own noble blood.
The Castermans had earned their greatness, Adam proudly reminded himself. Jorr Casterman won his knighthood defending the Lord of the Bluewater several centuries back. During a skirmish against a wild raiding party, the lord had been unhorsed and at the mercy of a monstrous ogre. He would have died on that battlefield had Jorr not slain the towering beast.
Adam had no towering beast to slay. The days where men could make their names with sword and shield were long past. So the youngest Casterman chose to sharpen his mind. His battles would be fought and won with pen and ink. Not at all the kind of man a she-orc would fall for, one might have thought.
The young noble pondered on that for a moment as he stood up and stretched. He groaned, his body still quite sore from the tourney matches he had managed to win. Then he went to the dresser at the foot of his bed and dug out a pair of boxers.
As he tugged them on, his mind drifted to Jen… and her sister, Sayla.
His girlfriend’s sister had interfered during one of his matches and got him disqualified from the tourney. Attacked him with real daggers, too. It was a wonder she hadn’t been arrested - though the security staff might have simply thought she was part of some viral stunt.
The whole situation was absurd. So absurd that Adam was more bewildered than upset - though he wasn’t without anger. He had worked hard to get into the lists. And to have it all taken away because of his girlfriend’s secret plan…
Adam tightened his jaw as Jen and Sayla’s “clan chief” business came to the forefront of his mind. He still needed to talk to them about that. He might as well, right? There was nothing that was going to un-disqualify him as far as he could tell. So why not learn more about the absurdity that screwed with his life?
He inhaled deeply through his nose, then frowned. The scent of sweat stung his nostrils. He would need to shower soon. But first, he would check his phone. He hadn’t answered anything from anybody after he left Jen and Sayla at the diner last night. No doubt his voicemail and email had some build up that needed some looking over.
Adam found his cellphone right where he left it, sitting on his desk. Sure enough, he found a long list of missed calls and unread messages. All of them from Jen.
The corner of his mouth twitched some at the sight. It wasn’t quite a smile, but there was a wryness about it.
In a way, the attention felt nice. It showed that Jen cared. Adam already knew that, of course. Jen was the kind of girl who was very open - and physical - with her affections. But the dozens of messages of apology proved that Jen at least felt appropriately guilty over the whole mess. The disqualification and the secret plan to make him her clan’s chieftain.
Chieftain Adam Casterman, leader of the G’Kalis Clan. Reader of books, slayer of essays, husband to she-orcs. Adam grinned at the sheer absurdity of it.
On the one hand, becoming a clan chief would have been a rather unique way of making a name for himself. And Adam had read up on orcish clan customs. He couldn’t deny that taking multiple wives had a certain appeal.
But Adam was nothing if not a realist.
Surely being a chieftain came with a whole mountain of responsibility. Even if Adam agreed to Jen’s proposition, where would he find the time to fulfill all of the duties that came with his new role? By the Allfather, he was a college student barely out of his teen years. He already had responsibilities here on campus. And what would he even tell his parents? That his girlfriend asked him to essentially marry her and her sisters and he said yes on a whim?
Adam rubbed his temple. It was way too early for such heavy thoughts. He put down his phone and switched over to his laptop to check his email.
His inbox was mostly as expected. Some newsletter stuff, spam that hadn’t been filtered out… And one message from Trevelyan Institute Administration.
That last one gave Adam a moment of pause. He stared at it, the email sitting unread on his computer screen. Dread slowly crept into him, slithering up his back, under his skin, making his hair stand on end.
It was a disciplinary response to the nonsense at the tourney. Adam knew it. Was he being put on probation? Was he expelled?
His mouth had gone dry. Surely, his face had gone ghostly white as well.
Adam collected himself, gathering his wits and nerves.
He ran the cursor over the email and clicked on it.
- - -
“Stop calling him.”
“Quiet.” Jenakka snapped, glaring at her clan-sister. The green she-orc turned her eyes back to her phone, staring at the message of apology she had just finished writing. She’d already written several others, but there was always something that Jenakka felt like she forgot to say. So she ended up writing another.
The G’Kalis clan scholar had been pacing around her dorm room ever since she woke up. She’d hardly gotten any sleep last night. Sayla, of course, had slept like a rock.
She’s as thick as one too…
The gray-skinned champion sat on Jenakka’s bed, her back pressed against the wall with her long legs stretched out. Sayla watched her sister walk back and forth across her dorm room, boredom clear in her red eyes.
Boredom and not an ounce of guilt. Typical.
Jenakka huffed through her nose and hit send.
“You’ve already left several messages. You’re making yourself look desperate.” Sayla droned in a flat voice. There was another look about her now, Jenakka noted. Distaste. The clan champion continued, muttering. “More than you already have…”
Jenakka whirled around on her heels, fuming. She pointed accusingly at her clan-sister, a scowl twisting across her face.
“You’re the last person who should be giving advice!” Jenakka was near-shrieking. The other students who lived on her floor might have heard her, but Jenakka did not care. Her relationship with Adam might have been irreparably damaged because of the brainless fool sitting on her bed. The clan scholar collected herself just a bit, breathing in. “After that debacle at the arena it was a miracle you weren’t detained. The clan can’t afford to have its champion behind bars, as you well know.”
Sayla was on her feet then, but Jenakka feared her little. Tall and strong her older clan-sister was, but Jenakka knew Sayla took her clan oaths as seriously as Mystic Akari. She would never hurt anyone of the clan. Still, Jenakka glared as the taller she-orc stepped up to her.
“Don’t lecture me, sister. Don’t you dare.” Sayla growled, her red eyes hard and cold. “I took action. You’re the one who spent a year playing Lord and Lady with her darling human. And such a wonderful choice, too.”
Jenakka’s anger flared hotter, now blazing in her heart.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You promised the clan you’d find us a chieftain.” Sayla raised her voice, her words hard with anger. “Instead, you spent all this time on some pretty boy lordling. Beyond ideal? Don’t make me laugh!”
Sayla turned away then, scoffing. Jenakka glowered, her hands tightening into fists.
“He beat you didn’t he?”
“He did not beat me.” Sayla snarled as she whirled back around. Her red eyes were now sharp like her daggers. Her lips tightened into what was almost a pout. “Our fight was interrupted.”
There was a knock at the door then. Both orc women turned their eyes towards it. Sayla merely looked annoyed at the disturbance, but Jenakka deflated some, her shoulders falling slack. It was probably one of the other dorm residents coming to check because of the shouting.
The knocking came again. Jenakka sighed and went to answer it, collecting herself just enough to put on a fake smile.
No problem here, ma’am. Just two orc sisters having a shouting match over the future of their clan!
She opened the door… and found her dear Adam standing in the hall!
“Hi.” He said, wearing a small smile.
Jenakka felt a rush of emotions then. Relief that Adam bothered to come see her. Happiness at seeing her love in the flesh. Embarrassment because she didn’t know what to say. All those text messages were nothing compared to seeing him again face-to-face.
Leaping forward, she wrapped her arms around him in perhaps the tightest hug she had ever given. With her face buried into his neck, she took in his scent. He smelled of paper and wood and steel. And a hint of soap as well. He showered recently, she noted. As she pulled back, she also noticed his clothing. He had dressed nicely. A brown coat over a white shirt and fitted jeans. Adam always made some effort to look presentable. But the fact that he bothered at all today was a good sign. Jenakka’s heart fluttered.
“I’m glad you came.” She said warmly, pulling the fresh-faced human into her dorm room. She closed the door shut behind them. Then she reached out and took Adam’s hands with hers. She stared into his eyes, hoping he would see the sincerity of her words. “And again, I’m so, so sorry about the tourney.”
Jenakka then shot an expecting look towards Sayla, who was standing by her desk with her arms crossed.
The clan champion gave Jenakka’s boyfriend a once-over. Then she wrinkled her nose.
“I’m not.” Sayla answered bluntly. She gave Adam a curt nod. “You still need to prove your worth as a fighter, pup.”
“He’s two years older than you.” Jenakka simmered. To her irritation, her clan-sister merely shrugged.
“Still younger than me. Still a pup.”
Jenakka frowned, fighting the fire inside her that Sayla was unapologetically stoking. She wasn’t going to break into another argument in front of Adam. He had dealt with enough problems because of her.
She turned her eyes back onto her boyfriend, giving him a regretful look.
“Sorry about her, too.” She told him.
“It’s no problem.” Adam said. A moment of silence passed, with Adam’s eyes roaming around Jenakka’s dorm room. Jenakka wanted to try and imagine what he was thinking, but the prospect made her anxious. So she simply waited. Finally, he spoke again. “So… I’m here.”
Jenakka stepped closer, hesitant but hopeful. She allowed herself a tiny smile.
“Does… does that mean you have an answer for us?”
Adam nodded.
“I spent a long time thinking last night.” Her boyfriend started. Jenakka tried to parse the tone of his voice, but the words came from his lips level and even. “Thinking about you. About us. I’d be lying if I said these last few months weren’t some of the best of my life.”
Another moment of silence. Jenakka drank in the lines of Adam’s face, watching him clench and unclench his jaw. She bit her lip, waiting.
“Growing up, I was always afraid that I’d never be as strong or as handsome or as skilled as my older brothers.” Adam spoke again, his brow furrowing as a sliver of discomfort weaved into his words. “I always questioned my worth as a man. Until I met you.”
Jenakka’s heart ached for him. She moved even closer, close enough that she could enjoy his scent again. On instinct, she darted forward and kissed him softly. The taste of his lips was quite welcome after the doubt and worry that plagued her last night. And surely Adam found the affection pleasing. He did not push her away.
The clan scholar pulled back after a time, sighing.
“I never cared if you were a fourth son. I wouldn’t have cared if you were the fortieth. I love you, Adam.” Jenakka spoke those words with her entire heart and spirit. She could only pray that her human would truly listen.
“But you still kept the truth from me.” He answered in a cool tone.
Jenakka winced. She averted her eyes from his for a moment. Was it shame? Regret? Embarrassment? Or all of them at once?
“I was waiting for the right time to tell you. But no moment ever felt right.” It was the truth. But Jenakka feared - no, she knew it wasn’t enough. She hadn’t told Adam about her intentions for him. For her clan. The fault for the resulting mess belonged to her and her alone.
Jenakka knew Adam was the understanding type. But was he the forgiving type? She could only hope.
“Do you have an answer or did you come here to waste more of our time?” Sayla’s sharp voice cleaved through their intimate moment.
Jenakka whipped her head around to shoot her sister a withering glare. A venomous retort bubbled up in her throat, ready to spew. But then Adam broke into a flat chuckle.
"Wow.” He said to Sayla, deep laughs rumbling in his chest. “You are a real piece of work.”
Sayla only gave a rude gesture in response. Jenakka felt a flash of anger, but it was tempered by the fact that Adam almost certainly had no idea what it meant.
“She’s always been like that.” Jenakka murmured into her boyfriend’s neck.
Adam chuckled again. Jenakka took it as a good sign. Next, he pulled away some so that he could look her in the eyes.
“I can… understand how your situation might have been awkward. I don’t like it, but I get it. If you told me about the clan stuff from the start, I might have just blown you off as a loony.” Adam pressed his lips into a line, appearing to consider his next words. “Being your clan’s chieftain… I take it that this is a big responsibility…”
Jenakka’s heart soared. He wasn’t refusing her outright. And that was enough for her. She jumped on the opening, seizing the opportunity as her clan-mother taught her.
“You wouldn’t need to carry that whole weight by yourself.” She insisted, clutching his hands tightly in hers. Her thumbs brushed over his knuckles, gentle and loving. “G’Kalis is a small clan, but you’d still have five of us to help you understand and perform your duties.”
Adam quirked his lips, weighing her answer in his head. He gave a short nod.
“That’s… good to hear, I suppose. And the extra free time will probably help, too.”
Jenakka blinked. She held her breath.
“What do you mean?” She asked cautiously. She needed to hear him say it.
Adam gave her a faint grin. He breathed in deeply through his nose.
“I got an email this morning.” Her tall, strapping human started, his grin widening some. “From the university administration. After that whole deal with Miss Daggers last night, I was afraid I was going to face some disciplinary action.”
“They didn’t blame you for that, did they?” Jenakka winced as the chaos from the arena flashed in her head.
“No. Turns out the email wasn’t about that tourney stuff at all. I’ve been exempt.” Adam gave her an incredulous look. “From all of my classes until spring. Special clan privileges, apparently. Clan members get excused from course work if they have spiritual rites that require their attention.”
Jenakka reeled back, bewildered. Why would Adam have special clan privileges…
Oh.
Realization struck her like a mace to the back of her head. The clan scholar turned and gave Sayla an accusing look. But the eldest daughter of G’Kalis appeared as baffled as any of them.
“Don’t look at me.” Sayla said, shrugging. “I only came here to initiate my chieftain trial.”
Jenakka narrowed her eyes, looking from Sayla to Adam. She only had to think for a moment before an answer presented itself to her. The only answer that made any sense, at least.
“Matriarch Hera.” Jenakka whispered. She looked into Adam’s eyes, hoping he was following along. He nodded back to her and she took it as a good sign. “Our clan-mother. She must have registered you as our chieftain already. Either her or Akari.”
“How?” Adam didn’t seem shocked or offended, only confused. Jenakka couldn’t blame him. These last several hours or so had completely turned his life into some absurdist comedy.
“I might have sent my clan your personal information.” Jenakka winced as she said it. A sour look crossed Adam’s face. She gave her boyfriend an apologetic look. “I just thought they wanted to know more about you! I’ll fix it. We’ll fix it! Sayla and I, we’ll head back to our clan and we’ll clear all this up! I promise!”
“We’re all going.” Adam told her. Jenakka was taken aback for a moment. She felt the urge to ask him to elaborate on what that meant. But the look in his blue eyes told her everything. And deep in her heart, Jenakka G’Kalis felt jubilation. Her boyfriend… her chieftain turned his eyes to Sayla, his words hammering out like black iron.
“If I’m going to be your clan’s chieftain, then it’s time I met the rest of you.”
- - -
First Previous
- - -
You can read the next two chapters on my Patreon.

I have never been into clothes or fashion. My wardrobe consists mostly of shorts/pants from Costco and plain shirts from old navy with some band and team shirts I’ve acquired through the years. I was watching a show recently with my wife who remarked that a character had a cool style which consisted of a hat, braided necklace, patterned button up and groomed beard/mustache combo. All this being said, would it be reasonable for someone to just create a new style for themselves this late in the game that doesn’t just shout “dad who doesn’t try to hard to dress himself”?

Disclaimer: This is an old post. I wrote it in March but it was never approved until now.
In preparation for Eras' opening night, I went back and watched every previous tour in full, either the official DVDs, or other full filmed versions if the DVD was unavailable or incomplete. Then I tried to rank all the performances.
This is not a ranking of the song itself but rather the presentation, staging, originality, etc. Surprise songs from the same tour will all count as one. Would love to know your favorites, and how you think Eras stacks up!
91. Speak Now World Tour – Fearless / Hey, Soul Sister / I'm Yours
The start of this tour's acoustic set, where she sat under a tree, strumming the ukulele. Points for the outfit, but I think this was an inferior arrangement of this particular song.
#. Red Tour – Treacherous
Weird choices were made here. Why was she wearing a tutu and dancing ballet for one of her most serious, adult songs? Why was this the main set closer? I think this would have worked better during the acoustic set, then she could close with Everything Has Changed or something. Still hard to complain about the song itself, though. The fog machines suited it.
89. Fearless Tour – Our Song
Cute, but she mostly just stood in one place and there was some awkward butt shaking in the middle.
88. Fearless Tour – White Horse
Part of the acoustic set. It followed Tim McGraw, but I think two songs that slow wasn't a good pacing choice and this one just doesn't fill an arena the way Tim McGraw does.
87. Red Tour – Stay Stay Stay / Ho Hey
I'm surprised this was part of the set. She did it basically how you'd expect, bopping around, kinda campy. I like how she had a moment goofing around with Amos.
86. Red Tour – Holy Ground
This song is made for a stadium setting, but I really think she should have been playing the guitar during it, or somehow done more. The way it was, it just sounded like noise. The dancers dressed like sirens did liven it up, but were also kinda cartoony.
85. 1989 World Tour – I Wish You Would
Basically the same performance she already did like three times before in the show. The real MVP was that one dancer in the back who did a flip off the chin-up bar.
84. Fearless Tour – Teardrops On My Guitar
I like how they turned the big screens into bookshelves, to continue the imagery of both high school and fairy tales. However, the singing didn't sound great here.
83. Speak Now World Tour – Fifteen
Sounded fuller than the Fearless tour version, but I think the giant princess gown didn't really suit the song. (Some shows also had her performing Ours in this spot.)
82. Fearless Tour – Fifteen
The first more intimate performance in this tour. She was seated and you can tell from the look in her eyes that the song made her feel nostalgic. Some videos of this have a teal dress and some have yellow; I prefer the teal.
81. Speak Now World Tour – Surprise Covers
A variety of covers on the guitar, during her acoustic set. She showed her versatility here as she did everything from classics to modern hits.
80. Fearless Tour – Hey Stephen
The one where she snuck around the hallways and popped out on the other side of the stadium. Great for the nosebleeds.
79. Red Tour – State Of Grace
She started off behind a red curtain, her silhouette singing the opening lines. (Unfortunately, the videos I watched had her struggling a lot with her earpiece and singing totally off-key for the first verse, but I know that wouldn't have happened every night.) A decent rock banger to open the show, if a little repetitive.
78. Red Tour – I Almost Do
The first of this tour's acoustic performances on the B stage. Nothing terrible but nothing remarkable either. It was about the lyrics and emotions, not the theatrics.
77. Red Tour – Begin Again
Staged the same way as I Almost Do, which was an appropriate way to do this song, but I can't help but think it would have worked better closer to the end.
76. 1989 World Tour – Bad Blood
It was fine, but by this point in the concert, I'm tired of the same kind of performance again.
75. Fearless Tour – Tell Me Why
Typical energetic angry Tay performance. She made some weird movements but that silver dress was everything.
74. Speak Now World Tour – The Story Of Us
Similar to Tell Me Why above from the previous tour.
73. Speak Now World Tour – Last Kiss
This version was a tad faster than the studio version, and the vocal delivery wasn't quite as sad; the sighs and the faint quiver in her voice that people love so much weren't really there. Still a nice rendition. The crowd was sobbing.
72. 1989 World Tour – Love Story
A nice synth arrangement that wisely went in a different direction than the older tours. By this point, both she and the audience had outgrown the princess gowns. However, I was kinda waiting for something more to happen, like fireworks or something.
71. Fearless Tour (2009 only) – Change
A faithful adaptation of this song, and a good choice for the main set closer.
70. 1989 World Tour – Welcome To New York
That was a lot of dancers! A decent opener, flashy and just '80s enough.
69. Red Tour – You Belong With Me
A sort of girl group throwback, with Taylor and the backup singers in matching red dresses and gloves. It was OK, and a good choice to perform one of her smash hits years later, but quite removed from the teenage angst this song came from.
68. 1989 World Tour – New Romantics
Similar to Welcome To New York which preceded it, this one worked early in the set almost as well as it works to close the deluxe album. Love her blue eyeshadow.
67. Speak Now World Tour – Mine
Pretty straightforward, but the red guitar is a nice touch. (Was she already dropping hints at Red?)
66. Red Tour – Sparks Fly
On a hanging platform that slowly moved around the arena, while the screens in back showed actual sparks. It was cool, but I'm not sure it was the best idea to limit her movement for arguably the loudest, most energetic song in her catalog at the time.
65. 1989 World Tour – I Knew You Were Trouble
The rock version. A bit slow and heavy but I appreciate her doing something new with the song.
64. 1989 World Tour – This Love
Could have been part of the acoustic set, but instead she upped the electronic and bass sounds and added fireworks. A nice breather before the last few songs.
63. Reputation Stadium Tour – End Game
Solid, but didn't stand out among the shenanigans of the other songs early in the show.
62. Red Tour – Everything Has Changed (with Ed Sheeran)
This one had a laid back feel that matches the song, but the raised platform and fans waving their lights gave it a little something extra. Ed sounded great. I kinda respect that he made no attempt to dress to the aesthetic.
61. Fearless Tour (2009 only) – I'm Only Me When I'm With You (with Kellie Pickler and Gloriana)
A very energetic country number with all the opening performers, the first of a two-song finale.
60. Speak Now World Tour – Surprise Guest Songs
She didn't have one at every show of this tour, but they were all pretty fun, with a mix of genres. The crowd, of course, loved them. It's really amazing to see how many friendships and connections she made in the industry, even early on.
59. Red Tour – Surprise Guest Songs
See above. Every one of these videos I found, Taylor had a different outfit, which is impressive.
58. Speak Now World Tour – You Belong With Me
She walked from the B stage back to the main stage, hugging and shaking hands with fans along the way. It's clear from including this song that, though Speak Now was a more adult album than Fearless, she knew most of her fans were still teenagers and still needed these songs about high school.
57. Fearless Tour – You Belong With Me
Her vocals weren't strong in the clips that I watched, but the costume was iconic.
56. Fearless Tour – The Way I Loved You
Sometimes done in the silveblack dress and sometimes in the purple. The way she moved between the two halves of the stage was pretty on-the-nose for the song, but I love how she featured Grant the guitarist. Hair Force One for the win! Also, it was a crime that they left this off the Journey to Fearless DVD.
55. Red Tour – The Lucky One
Taylor was dressed like a retro Hollywood starlet, and the dancers were paparazzi with cameras or screaming fans. A very literal presentation of this song which probably helped it stick in people's minds more.
54. Reputation Stadium Tour – Style / Love Story / You Belong With Me
I think Style was a weird choice to mash up with these two songs, but it worked well enough as a showcase for the band, many of whom had been with her over a decade by this point.
53. 1989 World Tour – Blank Space
She said her goal here was to recreate the music video, but I'm not sure this really conveyed the message of the song; she should have interacted with the dancers more to achieve that effect. Still a very entertaining performance, though.
52. 1989 World Tour – All You Had To Do Was Stay
The cherry on top: columns of blue smoke shot out every time the distorted voice squeaked "stay!" Not sure what was up with that chair, though.
51. Red Tour – 22
A big party, just as this song should be. I'm sure that, when seeing it live, the energy would have been off the charts. The choreography was impressive, more than we usually see from her.
50. Fearless Tour – Picture To Burn
The screens were on fire, so it's exactly how you'd expect her to stage this song. The guitar slayed.
49. Reputation Stadium Tour – Blank Space
I think the red bodysuit, gyrating choreography, and multiple Taylors on the back screen actually better conveyed the "character" she's playing in the song. Like she's this femme fatale with multiple personalities.
48. 1989 World Tour – Clean
Now here's a song that could have used some fake rain, somehow. Even so, the images on the big screen were quite lovely.
47. Speak Now World Tour – Mean
I think it was a good choice to keep this one simple. Just that porch-shaped mini stage with her band beside her. The song itself is a whole mood, so it didn't need a lot of theatrics.
46. Red Tour – Mean
Basically the same as the Speak Now performance, just with a different outfit and shaped stage.
45. Reputation Stadium Tour – Call It What You Want
Not as big a song as most of this album, but a nice warm moment before the crazy finale. I do dig the purple dress, and how the dancer she danced with was a redhead (not unlike a certain British actor).
44. Fearless Tour – Tim McGraw
Making this slow dance into exactly what it was meant to be: a swaying sing-along, everyone's phones or lighters in the air. She walked through the crowd to hug the fans.
43. Speak Now World Tour – Dear John
For the first couple verses, she just sat on the arch/bridge thing, and I kinda wondered if anything else was going to happen. Then I said "holy shit!" as the fireworks exploded up everywhere. We know she may never perform this one again, so I have serious FOMO that I did not see this show back then.
42. Speak Now World Tour – Speak Now
First time she wore the distinct purple Speak Now dress, possibly the outfit of the era. The crowd were singing along like crazy. The scenery definitely brought the song to life even if it normally isn't the most energetic from the era. She walked through the crowd shaking hands while the wedding guests tossed the bouquet around, wearing the most late 2000s/early 2010s party dresses imaginable.
41. Fearless Tour – Forever & Always
Boy was she pissed at a certain Jonas back then. Red dress, red microphone, red couch, red text on the back screen saying "They shouldn't do bad things." The notes in head voice sound kinda weak, but she nailed the high note with the microphone lean. Insane stumbling down the stairs and throwing herself all over the stage. Very extra.
40. Speak Now World Tour – Better Than Revenge
Reminiscent of the Forever & Always performance, but her vocals were better here. Grant and Paul got a guitar solo (or duet, I guess).
39. Reputation Stadium Tour – Getaway Car
Sonically, all but identical to the studio version. The "Why She Disappeared" poem beforehand and the desert visuals onscreen complemented it and helped turn it into more of a story.
38. Reputation Stadium Tour – King Of My Heart
The huge drums were a great touch. You can see how happy she was, which didn't always come across with just a superficial listen to the Rep album tracks.
37. Fearless Tour – Fearless
One of my favorite songs sounded even better live. Her smile, stomping and spinning around, totally captured the spirit of the song. Bonus points for adding in the name of the city each night.
36. Fearless Tour – You're Not Sorry / What Goes Around…Comes Around
First appearance of the piano head flip. These two songs worked decently mashed up, but I wonder how it would have been if she stayed at the piano the whole time.
35. 1989 World Tour – I Know Places
The moving doors were pretty cool.
34. 1989 World Tour – Surprise Songs
The raised walkway and whole stadium lit up blue was an excellent way to do the acoustic set. Props to her for not sitting down the way she did on the other tours, that had to take stamina. (In my heart, the sing-along of You Are In Love from the DVD is the "canon" performance here because it was part of the album.)
33. 1989 World Tour – Style
Probably the most effective use of the catwalk, given how it perfectly fit the lyrics. The dancers were brave for roller skating on it.
32. Reputation Stadium Tour – Bad Blood / Should've Said No
Another snake, this time a skeletal one transporting her to the upper stage. These songs worked very well mashed up; just listen how the crowd went nuts at that first banjo lick.
31. Reputation Stadium Tour – Dress
Another huge improvement from the studio version. It wasn't as high pitched, therefore more listenable. The sheets waving around everywhere were a nice subtle way to remind us what this song was about, in case people were too distracted by the pretty lights and synths to listen to the lyrics.
30. 1989 World Tour – Enchanted / Wildest Dreams
By this point, the piano mash-ups while wearing a long gown were getting kind of predictable. However, this was a great choice of mash-up and I dig whatever shape that piano was supposed to be.
29. Speak Now World Tour – Long Live
Another song that's tailor-made for a stadium just the way it is. The sparkly silver guitar was perfect.
28. Red Tour – Red
Now this is how you do a rock number. She had the sparkly red guitar and the dancers were waving giant red sheets all around.
27. Fearless Tour – Love Story
Once again, iconic. Ball gowns twirling until she changed into a white wedding dress, which def looked more like a prom dress. The backgrounds on the screen were low-res by today's standards, but this is what a lot of people still think of when they think of Taylor Swift.
26. Red Tour – Love Story
Similar to the Fearless tour version, with different costumes. The vocals weren't good in the video I watched, but we know she can do it. I especially like the moment where she grabbed her dance partner and ran across the stage with him – "escape this town for a little while."
25. Reputation Stadium Tour – Gorgeous
Classy move to use this song to introduce the dancers and backup singers. Also those cats in the Netflix recording – were they on the screens at the actual tour?!
24. Reputation Stadium Tour – Delicate
Finally bringing some color, as well as this era's version of the floating cage. The song is more romantic than what came before, but the gold tendrils wrapping around were still reminiscent of snakes.
23. Reputation Stadium Tour – We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together / This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
An all-out romp to close the show.
22. Reputation Stadium Tour – Surprise Songs
Your feelings about this will probably depend on the individual song, especially if you saw the tour live. The videos I've seen were all great, showcasing how her vocals and guitar skills improve with every tour. Also, probably the last time we'll ever hear the 5-minute ATW live.
21. 1989 World Tour – Shake It Off
Basically the only way to do this song. I dig the royal blue.
20. Speak Now World Tour – Our Song
A definite improvement from the Fearless tour version. The prairie dress, the braid, dueting with Caitlin the fiddle player, and much more movement around the stage.
19. Speak Now World Tour – Sparks Fly
DROP EVERYTHING NOW! Excellent choice to start with this instead of Mine. The dress legit looked like it's sewn out of fireworks.
18. Red Tour – All Too Well
No frills, just Taylor at a red piano and this magnificent song swelling until it filled the whole arena. Her voice was quite raw and emotional here.
17. 1989 World Tour – Surprise Guest Songs
A major feature of this tour, done at every show.
16. Reputation Stadium Tour – Shake It Off (with Charli XCX and Camila Cabello)
As well done as the 1989 Tour version was, this one was a step up. I love the snakes bopping around. The message of this song worked just as well with the themes of Rep.
15. Reputation Stadium Tour – Dancing With Our Hands Tied
(Or So It Goes, in some performances.) Arguably the finest of all her acoustic sets. Beautiful stripped-down renditions of songs that I overlooked at first on the album. Some people say DWOHT is her most romantic song, and you can see why here. I also love the green get-up, which was still reminiscent of the snake motif but had its own flavor.
14. 1989 World Tour – Out Of the Woods
The forceful yet stuttering choreography really served the anxious nature of the song. The paper airplanes whizzing back and forth were a nice touch. Also the perfect spot in the show to put it – very climactic.
13. Red Tour – We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
The finale where she brought the whole damn circus, literally. Sing it, clowns.
12. Reputation Stadium Tour – …Ready For It?
The old Taylor was dead.
11. Speak Now World Tour – Enchanted
They nailed the costume and the scenery yet again. She sang it better here than on the studio recording.
10. Speak Now World Tour – Haunted
Excellent transition here, as the Enchanted forest turned dark blue and the giant bell appeared. Speaking of the bell, her smacking it (but not really) may be the most dramatic thing to happen in any Taylor Swift live performance. Her dress was even tattered at the bottom. I'm here for all of it.
9. 1989 World Tour – We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
When Taylor became the rock goddess we always knew she was.
8. Speak Now World Tour – Back To December / Apologize
Beautiful presentation of this song. Full string orchestra here (I think?). Really leaned into the winter imagery with the light blue gown, white piano, and snowflakes falling in the background.
8. Reputation Stadium Tour – Don't Blame Me
She swore she doesn't love the drama, but this performance would suggest otherwise.
7. Reputation Stadium Tour – I Did Something Bad
A strong performance with lots of pyro, but it really elevated at the bridge, where the dancers lifted Taylor up and she leaned back into the pillar of fire on the screen. "Light me up," indeed.
6. Speak Now World Tour – Love Story
An improvement over the Fearless version in every respect. She swooped over the crowd on a floating balcony, while pairs of dancers in period dress spun on trapezes hanging from the ceiling.
5. Fearless Tour – Should've Said No
THE RAIN MACHINE! With the words in it! I think this spoke for itself. She literally killed it.
4. 1989 World Tour – How You Get the Girl
Another rain performance, but this time with neon umbrellas and a unique glow-in-the-dark bubblegum dress. She didn't need to do all this for such a deep cut, but she did. Underrated.
3. Reputation Stadium Tour – Look What You Made Me Do
The definitive version of this song. The black-and-gold snake robe, the "tilted stage," and of course Karyn the massive inflatable snake. Helped many people appreciate and understand what was once a very polarizing song, myself included.
2. Reputation Stadium Tour – Long Live / New Year's Day
A gorgeous piano mash-up that went right to the heart. In my opinion, Long Live belongs on every tour, and the line "hold on to spinning around" flowed perfectly into "hold onto the memories." Beyond that, this was the moment that freed her from the bad-girl big-reputation persona she had presented for most of the show. It was human and vulnerable. Just look at the joy on her face as she gazed out at the audience. We stan a queen.
1. Red Tour – I Knew You Were Trouble
Perhaps not as iconic as the circus number, but sure as hell should be. Started with the fiddle player going absolutely insane, on a sparkly red fiddle no less! Followed by Taylor and all the dancers acting out some sort of masquerade ball, eventually tearing off her poofy white gown to reveal a sexy black and gold romper. An electrifying dubstep Phantom of the Opera.
Thank you for reading all this!

I’m a single mother who wasn’t cut out for hard labor. I’m to ugly to do porn but I’m to pretty for Burger King. I’m just existing until opportunity comes into my life through the back door.
Let’s start somewhat in the beginning- I was born in Mendocino County California. Directly on the coast in Fort Bragg, on February 10th, 1998. I’m 25 years old, but I will leave the rest of the boring details of an uneventful and traumatic childhood for a different “poor me” post.
For now, I’m going to tell Reddit all about my chronic laziness problem and inflated expectations/ego. I need to tell someone in depth why it is that I get fed up with a aspiring relationship before I even go out with a man, but also, why it is that I can’t find a man that wants to put up with me for the rest of forever. Firstly, I not a worker, I have not ever thought about what I wanted to do in terms of a lifelong career because, well, that just seems like a really long time to have a job to me. I worked in the legal cannabis industry trimming weed for a distributor, but I started talking to this man on the dating app Plenty of Fish, one thing led to another and I quit my trimming job because I got offered an opportunity to “audition” for porn.
I didn’t have my own vehicle so I bought a greyhound ticket and told my mom I was going to meet a guy in the city to try out for a part in an adult film. I should mention that the man that I was going to see in the motel for my… interview lol… was not the man that I had talked to on Plenty of Fish, the guy on plenty of fish set me up with the opportunity to meet the guy in the hotel. My mom was obviously upset by the fact that I was so willingly to jump at this chance and didn’t even think twice about how I could probably end up getting murdered by this man-in- a-motel-room. So naturally, she drove me down to the city because she didn’t want to seem unsupportive and she got a room in the same hotel as me.
I probably don’t need to say this but I’m going to just in case some of us are a little slower than others… Yes, I slept with the potential murderer. He had me show him what I could do lol, my mom and I stayed in the city for two days while I was interviewed and then we left and he said he would put together a small script and work me into a part then he would get ahold of me when we were ready to film. If we are still a little behind, no, he never called me back with a script, I got porn catfished! I made an Onlyfans account after that and was in the 10% of creator’s for a long time, but it was hard to find and keep subscribers and my boyfriend at the time started focusing all of our content on his genitalia and that didn’t fly with my subscribers who came to see my solo content.
I know that I’m not a 10. I am fully aware of the fact that I am not all that and a bag of chips and I am definitely not everyone’s cup of tea because I’m probably a fat dab. In my own mind I’m pretty enough that one day I will find someone who will want to take care of me financially, put up with my bad ass attitude and accept the fact that my attitude will never change. I am the woman that will wake up with you everyday at 4:30 AM to make coffee and packs your lunch before sending you off to work. I will take care of the kids, do all the household chores and perform oral sex every night as long as I don’t have to work anymore, but I also won’t even consider a relationship with anyone I find less attractive than myself no matter how lavish the lifestyle and that has caused a dilemma.