Hi, I’m 32 F and recently divorced my husband. We were together a total of 7 years, married for 5. I didn’t realize I was dealing with a narc until I took separation and was able to have enough mental space to look into all that happened without his constant disapproval and demands that I submit. Looking back on it, I had a narc husband, narc boss and now know my brother in law is considered a covert narc or even dark empath based on all that my sister and I have looked into since coming out of the abuse. At one point life seemed so dark, so bleak that I told my sister I didn’t want to live anymore.
There’s so much to write but I think it’s best I stick to the key points. My Narc and I got married two months after getting saved. Looking back on it now I know that he displayed signs of narcissism in our relationship from the beginning (isolating me from friends, blocking family members in my phone, looking through my phone, never apologizing, always making me feel like I had done something wrong, silent treatment etc..) however after we became saved and I became his wife he soon started using the scripture in the Bible that talks about wives submitting to take his control of my life to another level. He made me change my clothes constantly, (I had already began dressing modestly because I started feeling uncomfortable in revealing clothing post salvation) sometimes I would be sent back in my room to change 3 times for one outing. He constantly quoted the submissive wife scripture to me whenever we did not agree on something such as who I should hang out with and who I’m allowed to be close to. He stopped going to the congregation we both attended and tried to get me to stop attending as well saying I need to honor him as the husband by staying home on the day I worshipped. Needless to say, I felt trapped and constantly thought maybe there was more I could do I lost a good 20 pounds from all the fasting and praying, on his behalf, begged for his love, support, pleaded with him for his forgiveness for any time I was not submissive and tried desperately to get him to understand how what he was doing was hurting me. More silent treatment, more disapproval more punishment. He made FB post slandering me describing the difference between a proverbs 31 woman and a “voluptuous woman” He once went through my phone and found messages to my sister telling her how much I couldn’t stand him anymore and how miserable I was and how grateful I was for her and how I wanted to cry in her arms. From that point forward, he began slandering me, accused us of being lesbians (I’m adopted) and went as far as calling the congregation we attend to tell the leader. Even still, I begged, cried, pleaded. Nothing. I finally decided to take separation after a full year and a half of his abuse being at its heights and then found out he had placed a tracker in my car one night when I cleaned out my trunk. Once we separated the smear campaign grew and he reached out to anyone we knew to tell them I kicked him out of the house because I was cheating on him with a woman.
Case and point, I felt like I lost my sanity, my will to live, I questioned everything, EVERYTHING. Was he right? Was I in fact just disobedient? Was there more I could do? It was only because of my relationship with God and my support system (my two sisters) that I made it through.
I have been separated from him for 1 year and 1 month and put in final divorce documents yesterday. I’m thankful for all that God has done for me during this time, he provided for me, comforted me and held me through the entire process. ❤️

I developed a mixed eating disorder since 13. I lost weight , gained half back. Ever since I gained half of it back I just wanted to lose these pesky 15 lbs. so I tried keto. It was wonderful at first but then it turned me into a horrible binge monster because I was binging on sweeteners, cheese, nuts and barely had any fiber. I gained 15 lbs instead of losing.
My binge eating got so bad I went on vyvanse and quit keto. I would take vyvanse 5 days a week. I’ve been on vyvanse for about a year. I lost weight but eventually my days off became more binging. I am able to still maintain, but i eventually binged too many carbs on my days off vyvanse that the days after a binge and go back to vyvanse, I always woke up bloated. 2 days a week was a lot to be honest.
I’ve been wanting to find a way to not fully rely on vyvanse to control my appetite. I think I will continue using it for the rest of my life since I was also diagnosed w adhd(idk if it’s true though) but I wanna be able to take days off/long breaks from vyvanse without worrying about binging my life away and being bloated and hating my life.
This time around, I am starting keto again. This time, I limit my sugar free sweeteners to coffee, energy drinks, a tsp or two of monk fruit for my chia drink, and occasional gum. No keto ice cream, no keto chocolate, no quest bars. I also have a lot more meats rather than cheese/nuts. And I make sure to get a good amount of fiber in. I’m only 3 days in. Yesterday I was worried I still wasn’t adapted to keto enough and that I would just binge eat keto foods. I expected to consume AT LEAST 2500 calories. My binges on my days off vyvanse before were usually like 3000-5000 so 2500 would honestly be a dream for a day off vyvanse.
I ended the day at like 1900!!!! Yeah there were some instances where I wanted to eat sugar, but I would take a tiny piece of chocolate, and just eat keto stuff like beef sticks, pepperoni, Brussel sprouts, ground beef, chia seeds with cashew w milk. When I tell you this has not happened to me in over a year, that’s a big thing. EVERY day off I’d tell my self “okay just be careful today just make today a 2500 day” and usually I’d end up at 3500 sometimes more. I’d get Starbucks, eat chocolate, get fast food, ice cream. But yesterday I just, didnt! I don’t know why I just didn’t binge. I even woke up in the middle of the night and ate more and I still stayed under 2000.
I just thought that’s it, I’m going to stay on vyvanse and just eventually build a tolerance and have it stop working then go on breaks and binge eat. Or I’d have to keep taking 2 days off but feel like shit because of my binges. But now I have the ability to eat a normal amount, so I can take long breaks from this medication and not gain a ton of weight!
I only have 2 questions. I have been slacking off at the gym and I’m afraid I won’t have energy from keto. How do I fix this in case it happens?I have enough sodium every day. I guess I can work on my water intake. Is potassium and magnesium that important? Should I just supplement them? Or is there a different solution to have that energized physical and mental clarity?
Also, I did keto before and I failed. How do I ensure that doesn’t happen again? I’m afraid if I mess up one day I’ll spiral back down and binge my way back up.

Hi! I just applied to a to a newly posted remote software engineer job through LinkedIn easy apply process and they literally contacted me 15min afterwards through LinkedIn messaging platform.
Here is the job posting: https://www.linkedin.com/jobs/view/3620818786/?refId=5990c565-d17c-44d8-bdb1-5ab37c58752f&trackingId=jMvej7zmQSaeQgEuke%2Fy%2Fg%3D%3D
The post seems fine but it's just how fast they responded and how they contacted me rather than through email. You can refer to the LinkedIn message below and the links seem... slightly fishy? I searching up the company name on SEC.gov but nothing turned up, though they may be owned under another company. Their website also doesn't look to professional either although their research, credits given, research on the website and LinkedIn page all date back a good amount of time. Either way it just sounds too good to be true but some things are just kinda off.
Thanks in advance for y'all comments and help!
​
LinkedIn message that I received:
Hi [my name],
You have a very impressive resume. I wanted to personally reach out and express my gratitude for your interest in the Software Engineer role at EsyncTechnologies. Your enthusiasm and qualifications are greatly appreciated.
To streamline our hiring process , I would like to request that you kindly interview for the position through our dedicated application portal. By using the following link: interview.esynctechnologies.com, you can conveniently finish the interview process.
The Interview portal has been designed to capture all the necessary information we need to evaluate your candidacy effectively. By applying through this platform, you can provide us with comprehensive details about your skills, experience, and qualifications in a structured manner. If you need more information regarding esynctechnologies feel free to visit our website at esynctechnologies.com. interview.esynctechnologies.com

Location: Urban or suburban, though preferably urban. I want a distinct/closed campus, so not NYU. I also love the older college campuses, but that's not a really important factor. Will not attend a public university in Texas or Florida, due to the recent political discussions around school curriculums and tenure. Currently mostly looking at East Coast and CA, but also down to add Canadian colleges to my list as well. Region: I'm in CA. Major: BFA in Computer & Environmental Science (or minor in Environmental science, unsure yet) Curriculum: I need a college that'll support interdisciplinary learning in the two majors mentioned above. I also want to take literature classes for fun, I do not only want to take STEM classes related to my major. Also want research opportunities since that's what I want to pursue in the future Size: Preferably a smaller college? Like around 5000 undergrad per year or smaller ideally, but still willing to look at larger public schools like UCLA and Berkeley. I would prefer a low teacher:student ratio as I'm used to small class sizes. Costs: Not a concern, will most likely have to pay full tuition but colleges that offer merit-based scholarships would be great. Schools I’m applying to: Yale, Rice, Columbia, Brown, Stanford, Johns Hopkins, WashU, UVA, UMich, all the UCs Stats & ECs (will keep vague to avoid doxxing): 4.0 UW, 1500+ SAT, small high school research awards & international competitions (nothing super famous though), also did a lot of work surrounding diversity/inclusion especially for women in STEM, summer STEM programs, trilingual
Anyways any feedback is appreciated! I need more safeties and targets, but I'm also looking to add more reaches if they align with what I'm looking for!

Hi, all.
It's been a pretty turbulent time over here. I was a nearly daily user of marijuana for about three years (mostly edibles, mostly around 10mg per day). I would partake in the evenings and weekends. I started doing it just for fun but slipped into daily use at some point during the pandemic for relief.
Well, recently, the weed became a SOURCE of anxiety for me -- I had a few panic attacks while under the influence. The first one happened when I was being intimate with my husband and I had issues with arousal. It's something that has never happened before in our 8 years together (almost 1 year married). It really shook me
Then, about a month later, again while under the influence, I had an unwanted/intrusive thought 'this happened because you are now unattracted to your husband'.
For some reason, I was unable to be rational about this (for example, recognizing that attraction isn't black/white, peaks and valleys during a relationship, and can be worked on).
The day after that thought I decided to quit weed cold turkey. That was exactly two months ago. And it's been SUCH a hard time. I also got COVID during that time and spent a lot of time ruminating. Unfortunately, I spiraled to thoughts like 'this is absolutely going to ruin my marriage', 'i'll never be able to be intimate with my husband', and similar thoughts. I have felt so incredibly depressed trying to get to the 'root' of the thought and making sense of it. I've totally obsessed over this issue instead of being able to let it go. Obviously, this hasn't helped. I'm sad all the time, and (I think, unfairly and irrationally) connecting my anxiety and depression to my husband. I even thought about leaving my husband, but I couldn't even articulate why I would want to do that. That thought also makes me sad!
I have started therapy, and I am also on week 4 of taking Zoloft. I have some benzos when things get bad. At the moment, my anxiety is really bad in the morning. Even if I am not actively thinking about the thoughts I've had, I'm anxious about how I'll be able to make it through the day. I sense a tiny bit of improvement, because there were days a few weeks ago where I was having light suicidal thoughts and was in bed literally all day. Now, things are definitely on my mind still. My psych believes that at some point during my three years of weed usage that I developed an anxiety disorder. Now, I'm really struggling without my sole source of relief.
I have done a lot of cognitive work -- reminding me that these thoughts aren't my own. That my husband is not the 'root' of these thoughts and that the thoughts are a symptom of my anxiety and depression. It helps a little bit but I am still so very sad.
As I sit here, I am on a bench watching the world go by. I'm trying to remain so hopeful that I can feel joy and relief again -- joy around by myself and around my husband. I want it so, so badly.
My question: is any of this normal? Does it make sense that you can feel detached from a partner when you are extremely depressed and anxious? I have noticed a little improvement, but can this get better? I'm so tired.
Happy to answer any followup questions. Hope this makes sense. Thanks in advance.

Class Tuning Incoming – June 6 - General Discussion - US - Blue Tracker - World of Warcraft (wowhead.com)
----
As we continue to monitor class performance in instanced group content as well as PvP, we regularly adjust classes that are over- or under-performing. Based on recent data, observations, and feedback from players, we intend to make the following adjustments during scheduled weekly maintenance (on June 6 in this region).

Classes

Death Knight

• Blood
  • All damage abilities increased by 8%.

Druid

• Feral
• Developers’ notes: The following set bonus changes will increase the average number of stacks of the (2) Set Bonus and cause the (4) Set Bonus to trigger less often, but provide more Agility when it does.
  • Aberrus (2) Set Bonus: Chance for Shadows of the Predator stacks to reset reduced by 15%.
  • Aberrus (4) Set Bonus: Now increases Agility by 8% (was 5%).

Evoker

• Preservation
• Developers’ notes: We would like there to be more of a reward to using Disintegrate over Living Flame as a Preservation Evoker, since it has a high Essence cost.
  • Disintegrate damage has been increased by 15% for Preservation Evoker.

Hunter

• Beast Mastery
  • All damage dealt by you and your pet’s abilities increased by 5%.

Mage

• Fire
  • Pyroblast damage increased by 5%. This does not apply to PvP combat.
  • Fire Blast damage increased by 10%. This does not apply to PvP combat.
  • Fireball damage increased by 10%. This does not apply to PvP combat.
  • Phoenix Flames damage increased by 10%. This does not apply to PvP combat.
  • Scorch damage increased by 10%

Monk

• Brewmaster
  • All ability damage increased by 3%.
  • Rising Sun Kick damage increased by 10%.
  • Blackout Kick damage increased by 30%.
  • Tiger Palm damage increased by 30%.
• Mistweaver
  • All healing abilities increased by 3%. This does not apply to PvP Combat.

Rogue

• Assassination
  • All ability damage increased by 5%.

Warlock

• Developers’ notes: The high frequency of Amplify Curse has been problematic in PvP combat, so its cooldown has been increased. These changes are also noted in the PvP section below.
  • The cooldown of Amplify Curse is now 60 seconds (was 30 seconds).
  • Teachings of the Satyr now reduces the cooldown of Amplify Curse by 15 seconds (was 10 seconds).

Warrior

• Arms
• Developers’ notes: Arms Warriors are not performing as well as we would like in single target or low-target-count situations.
  • All ability damage increased by 4%.
  • Fatality Fatal Mark damage increased by 15%.
  • Deep Wounds periodic damage increased by 5%.
  • Rend periodic damage increased by 5%.
• Protection
• Developers’ notes: Protection Warriors are not currently performing as competitively as we would like compared to most other tanks in terms of damage and survivability.
  • All damaging abilities increased by 8%.
  • Auto-attack damage increased by 10%.
  • Spell Block’s duration increased to 30 seconds (was 20 seconds).
  • Thunderlord now causes each enemy hit by Thunder Clap to reduce the remaining cooldown of Demoralizing Shout by 1.5 seconds, up to 4.5 seconds (was 1.0 seconds, up to 3.0 seconds).

Player versus Player

Druid

• Balance
• Developers’ notes: Balance Druids have been overperforming due to their ability to generate so much Astral Power and deal high damage by applying dots and casting Starfall repeatedly. We’d like to reduce the effectiveness of that playstyle since it’s difficult for opponents to stop. Goldrinn’s Fang also became much more effective in Embers of Neltharion, and includes some randomness and ability to score kills unexpectedly. Finally, Owlkin Adept has been a locked-in talent for a while now and has been propping up their control a bit more than we’re comfortable with.
  • Moonfire and Sunfire generate 4 Astral Power when cast in PvP combat (was 6).
  • Stellar Innervation increases Astral Power generation of Moonfire and Sunfire by 50% in PvP combat (was 100%).
  • Star Burst grants 8 Astral Power (was 15).
  • Owlkin Adept reduces the cast time of Cyclone and Entanglng Roots by 20% (was 30%).
  • Goldrinn’s Fang damage is reduced by 50% in PvP combat.
  • Wrath and Starfire deal 60% increased damage in PvP combat (was 50%).

Hunter

• Marksmanship
• Developers’ notes: Marksmanship Hunters have been underperforming in different forms of PvP content.
  • Aimed Shot damage increased by 25% in PvP combat (was 15%).
  • Rapid Fire damage increased by 25% in PvP combat (was 15%).
  • Arcane Shot damage increased by 25% in PvP combat (was 16%).

Priest

• Discipline
• Developers’ notes: Discipline has been more reliant on shields this season than we’d like. We’re increasing Atonement healing while bringing down the power of shields, with the goal of the preferred playstyle being an offensive one. We’re also targeting the mana reduction from Inner Light, as Discipline has been more mana efficient than we’d like.
  • Power Word: Shield now absorbs 15% less damage in PvP combat.
  • Inner Light now reduces the mana cost of the affected spells by 10% (was 15%).
  • Atonement healing is now 50% more effective in PvP combat (was 40%).

Mage

• Fire
• Developers’ notes: Glass Cannon is intended to have high risk and high reward with its gameplay, and we feel the risk is too low for the benefit it provides, especially when paired with Flamecannon.
  • Glass Cannon now decreases maximum health by 20% (was 15%)
  • Flamecannon now increases maximum health by 2% per stack (was 3%).

Monk

• Mistweaver
• Developers’ notes: Mistweavers have been overperforming compared to other healers, especially due to their mana efficiency.
  • Soulfang Infusion now regenerates 75% less Mana in PvP combat (was 50%).
  • Zen Spheres now cost 0.5% base Mana.
  • Enveloping Mist now heals for 5% more in PvP combat (was 20%).
  • Mistweaver Monks now regenerate 15% less Mana in PvP combat (was 10%).
• Windwalker
• Developers’ notes: Whirling Dragon Punch has felt underwhelming and we’d like it to feel impactful to use without being a major portion of a Windwalker’s damage profile.
  • Whirling Dragon Punch damage increased by 80% in PvP combat.

Shaman

• Enhancement
• Developers’ notes: There are a few talents that are leading to fast kills that can feel unfair when facing an Enhancement Shaman. We’re aiming to bring down the burst potential from cooldowns and increase sustained DPS.
  • Forceful Winds is now 75% effective in PvP Combat.
  • The damage increase to Lava Lash from Ashen Catalyst is now 33% effective in PvP combat.
  • Lava Lash now deals 35% increased damage in PvP combat (was 15%).
  • The Physical damage increase from Feral Spirit is now 33% effective in PvP combat.
  • The Fire, Frost, and Lightning damage increase from Elemental Spirits is now 50% effective in PvP combat.
  • Stormstrike now deals 75% increased damage in PvP combat (was 50%).
  • Windstrike now deals 75% increased damage in PvP combat (was 50%).
• Restoration
• Developers’ notes: We feel Restoration Shaman is in a good spot. Rain Dance wasn’t as valuable as we were anticipating, so we’re aiming to increase its viability.
  • Rain Dance now increases the healing done by Healing Rain by 30% (was 20%).
  • Rain Dance now reduces the mana cost of Healing Rain by 45% (was 30%).

Rogue

• Subtlety
• Developers’ notes: Burst damage from Subtlety has been higher than we’d like this season. We’re looking to keep the spec in a strong position while toning down their burst potential in short windows.
  • Secret Technique damage is now reduced by 33% in PvP combat (was 25%).
  • Shadowstrike and Backstab damage from Weaponmaster is now 50% effective in PvP combat.
  • Flagellation’s Mastery bonus is now 80% effective in PvP combat.
  • Dark Shadow is now 67% effective in PvP combat (was 80%).

Warlock

• Developers’ notes: Inquisitor’s Gaze has been dealing a sizeable portion of Warlock damage this season, and we’d like damage to come primarily from active spells.
  • Fel Barrage from Inquisitor’s Gaze now deals 40% reduced damage in PvP combat.
  • Developers’ note: The high frequency of Amplify Curse has been problematic in PvP combat.
  • The cooldown of Amplify Curse is now 60 seconds (was 30 seconds).
  • Teachings of the Satyr now reduces the cooldown of Amplify Curse by 15 seconds (was 10 seconds).
• Affliction
• Developers’ notes: We are increasing the damage of Unstable Affliction’s backlash effect to lessen the value of dispelling Affliction’s damage over time effects. It’s been lower than we’d like, in addition to healers gaining extra health this season. Additionally, we’re increasing Shadow Bolt damage as the reward for casting it is lower than we’d like.
  • Unstable Affliction backlash damage increased by 50%.
  • Shadow Bolt damage increased by 30% in PvP combat.
• Destruction
• Developers’ notes: Destruction’s sustained DPS has been high and we feel this is mainly due to Shadowburn’s high multiplier. We would like for instant casts to be strong but not be the primary way to land kills.
  • Conflagration damage is now reduced by 15% in PvP combat (was 9%).
  • Shadowburn damage is now increased by 15% in PvP combat (was 45%).
• Demonology
• Developers’ notes: Demonology’s healing reduction effect from their Felguard was one of the best healing reductions in the game, which didn’t feel appropriate given the class identity, how easy it is to apply, and how it can be applied to multiple targets at a time. Along with Affliction, we’re also increasing the damage of Shadow Bolt in PvP, as the reward for casting it is low.
  • Legion Strike reduces healing taken by 20% in PvP (was 25%).
  • Shadow Bolt damage increased by 30% in PvP combat.

Hey everyone! So first of all, I friggin love Doug. I honestly really do. He is my favorite youtuber and has made my love of cars grow so much. I have learned to love every little thing about cars I never would have thought to care about and changed the way I look at cars forever and I think that's awesome.
However, I would like to be a little bit critical here and I don't want this taken as I'm a cynical dick.
Okay, so Doug is that magical kind of nerdy guy, that everyone loves. Ya know? The loveable kid in the corner of class that wears three layers of t shirts and knows everything there is to know about dinosaurs or something like that (in his case cars). That kids friends are nice too and I wouldn't say anything bad about them, but I wouldn't really say they command a audience either. That is sort of Kennan to me.
I'm not sure why but the people that have guest starred lately just aren't interesting to me. They lack any of the special spice that makes me say "i want to watch this, they seem interesting". The girl that was on the other day was pretty good as far as her and Doug had some decent chemistry that was the best guest video so far imo, but these other ones are just kind of ehhhhh to me.
And it seems as though (I could be reading this wrong) the community mostly agrees. It seems as though nobody is particularly happy about this change, and new videos with guest stars keep coming out. They are content that is weaker than him alone for sure.
I have to think Doug has noticed this feedback. Which leads me to wonder what the intention of it is. Does he plan to walk away or split the work with other co-stars? Does he want to work with his friends so he is hoping it will work out and force it on us? I mean I want Doug to do what he wants and if that makes him happy so be it, i'm just not liking the recent content with others and thats just imo.
I want Doug to do what he wants, but i think he will see the best legacy and success without these co-stars type of videos.
Dont want to sound whiney or anything just want to hear what others think i guess. I mean eventually everyone will just get used to it and the initial opinions will be rendered null.
Also, at the risk of sounding sorta dick-ish. Do what you want but please spare us Kennan. I don't know what to say or how to put a finger on it, but I think he might have the most punchable face I've ever seen. Reminds me so much of the kid that used to snitch on me for chewing gum in junior high.
Doug the type of guy to do what he wants and make good videos anyways.

So last night I went to the ER following 5-6 days of severe headache. I literally felt as though something was bursting on the left side of my head- accompanied with neck pain, shoulder pain, clicking, and popping. The headache was only on one side (left) and reached around from intense pressure in my temple to the back of my head. And no pain meds or sinus meds were helping. I could barely drive my car as the pressure on the left side of my head was so severe.
ER doc did reflexes to do a basic rule out stroke/brain infection and as soon as he looked in my left ear he noticed significant swelling around my Eustrean tube in the left ear. He gave me shot of naproxen and sent me home with Motrin for 3 days and mometasone spray for two weeks. I have already noticed a bit of improvement (still dealing with bouts of aches in my left temple and fullness in ear). However, I am wondering what I can expect in terms of if this will become a long term issue. Also I am wondering if chewing gum frequently can worsen ETD and if there is any correlation between ETD and teeth grinding/tooth pain. Thanks.
Edit: for context I am mid 20s, generally healthy and no underlying conditions I’m aware of. I experienced intense ear popping on planes as a child to the point I would cry in pain so maybe that’s connected?

I (31m) just broke up with my (26f) girlfriend today.
You guys I don't really know where to start and I don't really want to ramble but I guess I'm going to anyways.
We've been together about 1.25 years, live 5 hours apart and have seen eachother almost every weekend except maybe 6-8.
I'll never forget the first time we met, she had never done a LDR before, was recovering from being sick so I offered to drive down to see her. We got a hotel (not classy I know) in a location that she works and loves, I remembered hugging her, putting a face to a name so to speak. We had met on Boo (app, highly recommend it) and we had these engaging long conversations about everything... The first message I sent her was about history, something I am very interested in and my god, the conversation flowed and continued to flow. The level of connection we had almost instantly was like no other I have ever felt.
I remember us getting out of the car and being weak in the knees with taking it all in. It was real now. She was even more beautiful than in her pictures. I hugged her and felt so alive and happy. We checked into the hotel, we both had to pee really bad and joked about peeing on the rug in the lobby as we were standing in line.
I came directly from a 10 hour day at work (carpenter) was so filthy and went directly into the shower. I get out of the shower and we held eachother and talked for hours laughing and having a good time. We both didn't even realize how hungry we were. We went out and got waffle house which was a first time for me. Our relationship was full of many firsts for us.
Right away I knew I had to have her, I asked her if she would want to continue and be my gf and she said she'd be a fool not to. A month or so in we told eachother we loved eachother at a very special location in my life, we had both been fighting the urge to say it sooner.
This woman changed me. She made me better. I cried more in front of her than I have in my entire life, something I have always been uncomfortable with. I am so grateful for her for being supportive to me in that way.
I remember us meeting eachother's families and it felt so good. I felt like I had a place in hers and I know she did in mine. My grandma's health is going downhill and has been for a while now, this Christmas my gma handmade my gf this really cool and cute old school apron with my gf's and gma's name on it. Added to that, my gf's profession is baking, something she is very passionate about. That's never happened in my entire dating life and my gf and I were so honored.
A couple months back her GPA developed cancer and has been going downhill, I have a motorcycle, turns out same exact one he had. He gave me his bells. I was so honored, I was speechless and stammering looking at them.
The plan has been for 6 months or more that I move to her to close the distance. Initially I was scared, I had never wanted to move away from my family before and had never taken that big of a risk before. We discussed at length who moves where and both agreed it would be best if I moved there due to a variety of factors.
Life got in the way, I had a couple old junky vehicles that needed attention and money and spent a couple months like crazy after work working on them with my brother. The amount of frustration and guilt I had for not moving in with her tomorrow was insane. We talked about it several times and agreed that it was for the best that I get all my ducks in a row before I move, as coming back home every weekend for however long it takes to square up my life would make both of our lives harder when it would already be challenging initially living together and have me acclimate to her area.
I had several job offers in her area soon after dating. Most of them not a good idea. As an example I could work for a family friend who gets drunk on every job and can't pay his bills... so we agreed that I needed to figure out what I wanted to do for work for myself in a way that benefitted me.
About a month ago my mom and her friend came down to visit, all four of us stayed at airBnB close to gf's work and in the area in which we would move. It was a lot of fun. I felt something was off in gf. The morning before mom, friend, and I were to leave I looked at gf's phone and had found she posted on reddit about us but the post was deleted so I didn't see much. I felt betrayed. She had become distant and wasn't talking to me much and she'd rather talk to strangers instead of me? I confronted her about it and a fight ensued.
So I decided to stay another couple days with her to work on ourselves, I helped her at work for a half a day (something I've done several times that everyone enjoys), we went back to her place and she got super drunk. Told me she felt like her life is falling apart and she's not happy. I held her while she cried, listened, and told her I'd be there for her rain or shine always. At one point she stood up... barely and she got a look in her eyes combined with her body language where I was near certain she was going to hit me (been here before in the past with others). It scared the shit out of me.
I left in the afternoon the next day after she told me I was her person, and she was laying in bed crying uncontrollably. It was so hard to leave but I had thought it would be better for her if I did.
For a couple weeks all communication on her end dropped. We used to talk all the time, and I was lucky to get an "I love you" once a day. I begged her to talk to me and not give up on us. The only times we talked she had clearly been drinking and said some truly horrible things about me. Character assassination repeatedly, I told her in confidence previously about some deep dark secrets I have and insecurities and she used then against me to tear my soul apart. I was devastated, I thought of leaving her then, but I didn't because I still loved her and she had been a great partner up until this point. She had stopped going to work, did not work for two weeks. From what I gather she spent most of that time at her mom's probably drinking and not doing much else.
One weekend we were supposed to go to a family wedding on my side, lots of people coming from out of town who are huge in my life I don't get to see often at all. A day or two before she told me she wasn't coming, and the thought of being with me and talking to me riddled her with anxiety. I spent that weekend surrounded by beautiful strangers and happy times and it was hard for me to quell the thoughts about "the grass is always greener". At one point an attractive woman was talking to me briefly at a bar after the wedding, playing with her hair etc. It was clear she was into me. It felt good to have someone give me the time of day but I felt terrible for putting on an impression that I was available and happy.
Then this weekend (memorial day weekend)... oh God. Gf and I had plans to go to a concert, stay at a hotel. I told her I said I don't want to go to a concert with you and your sister and spend money and pretend everything is fine when it most definitely isn't. She told me that was selfish because her sister was looking forward to it. So I begrudgingly agreed to continue with the concert.
We saw eachother for the first time in three weeks and right away I sensed the guilt from her for being cruel to me. I tried to point it out and she denied it, she was a lot more physically attentive with me and giving me compliments. The first night we were alone and it was hard but I think we undid some of the damage and reconnected a lot. I think we were both happy about the progress but sad at what we had become.
Concert was the next day, it was great, again she's attentive and amazing like the woman I fell in love with. My hopes had reactivated for us a little and my smile was genuine instead of forced.
Her mom had texted us Sunday (the next day, clarification gf lives with mom so I stay there when I visit) and had said to try to not be at the house all day since the house had many people in it already. Okay, makes sense. We occupied our time doing other things, and drove back to her mom's around 8 or 9p.
On the way there, one of my brother's (E) calls me and asked if I had heard what had happened to my other brother (B). I had said no, I hadn't heard I had assumed he had got the job he was looking at. E tells me B's apartment building collapsed. B was safe, but lucky to be alive realistically. B had lost everything he's ever had, he escaped with the clothes he had on and his phone, he didn't even have his wallet.
I'm dissasociating as I'm hearing all of this, driving gf and me back to gf's mom's house. Our relationship is dying, and I get the feeling that her mom isn't happy with me. We get to her mom's house and her mom and aunt (who is currently living there, I've seen her only twice) are drinking on the porch and want gf and me to come out and talk to them. Was a demand not a request. I don't know how long this went on, best guess is 1-1.5 hours but they berated me, were drawing wild ass conclusions about me, you name it, really weird, scary and hurtful things. I didn't bother to try to defend myself because there was no point. Gf sat there quietly and agreed with them partially. I felt so betrayed, hurt and alone, she didn't stand up for me. I asked her if she would speak to her mother or my behalf and she said she wouldn't. I found out I'm no longer welcome at the house, complicating our relationship further.
Memorial day the next day, I hadn't even really slept, no shower, I left gf's mom's house at 5a when I knew no one would be there and waited at a truck stop for hours for my gf to wake up and come talk to me. Eventually she did, and I told her my respect and trust for her mom was in the sewer and I was afraid her crazy ass alcoholic mother was twisting my gf's opinion of me over the last month. I told her I don't know how you can do it but please get out of that house soon. Between B losing everything he owns and the verbal assault I had last night I was in a very dark place. Later that day, completely dead inside with no sleep we made it to her dad's side of the family where everyone appreciates me and loves me. We had fun in the backyard, I did my best to try to forget about B and last night but I couldn't. I went inside at some point to pee and I snapped. I found my gf in the backyard and announced in front of her family that I had to go home immediately.
As she was driving me back to her car I reminded her about how I had been to the hospital for her brother several times and how I would like the same respect for myself. This frustrated her. I said I think now is the time we agree to go to therapy and she did agree, however I felt she didn't want to.
I've been working like a dog this week sweating my ass off, hadn't heard much from gf at all, last night I asked when can we talk again? She said today after work. I woke up this morning and I knew I couldn't take it anymore. I knew in my heart I have always supported her and loved her deeply. I knew all the sacrifices I already made and all the sacrifices I would continue to make in the future with my moving to her, and how she still would refuse to give me the proper recognition and reciprocation I deserve.
I broke up with her this morning. I'm hoping to meet halfway this weekend to exchange our stuff. I'm also hoping she'll do some self work and come back to me before I move on for good, I told her my door will be open to her for a while but I don't know how long.
Moral of the story- changing for people is good if it's good, sacrificing for people is good if it's good, loving people is good if it's good. If the person you are with refuses to communicate and reciprocate, it's not your fault. We make our own choices. Please be smarter than me and take care of yourselves.

Hello,
I'm using Pro Tools 2020 9.1
Laptop is an Asus Vivobook, Intel i7 8m cache up to 4.9 GHz
16 GB RAM
My interface is a Tascam US-20x20. I have it connected to my laptop with a USB 3 cable, it works fine. I'm plugging the Alesis drum module directly to my laptop on a USB 2 port. In a brand new session (48k) I will create a stereo Instrument track, and assign my drum Plug-In (Urgritone Kvlt II) From there I'll create a mono aux track and bring up the Click II Plug-In. Hit record, click starts clicking, I get behind the Alesis only to be thrown way off time within the first bar due to terrible latency. So I've tried the following: Lower the buffer size (I was at 128, tried 64 but very little difference) Input Monitoring, this method makes a lot of sense to me but I guess it isn't a thing for Instrument tracks? Seemed to work with an Audio track and got the little "I" next to solo and mute, engaged just fine. I could be missing something here, but I couldn't get it to work the way I had thought it would. When that failed I checked off the Delay Compensation under the view menu, but again had no difference. Dly, +/-, and Cmp are all at zero, playing with the +/- user offset didn't help.
I'm clearly struggling. If anyone has any advice I'm all ears! Thank you for your time

After Season of Arrivals, Savathun's interference with the Witness' attempts to interact with us led to her being branded a traitor. Most of the orphaned broods in our solar system that were descendants of Oryx and Crota that had previously flocked under her banner such as the Hidden Swarm quickly switched sides to Xivu Arath after meeting with her High Celebrant with two exceptions. The Grasp of Nokris located on Mars and Savathun's Hive on Titan. Both were traitors and Xivu's forces have conquered both of their strongholds. For this reason, it is highly likely that all Hive outside of Savathun's Throneworld have pledged themselves to Xivu Arath, with any loyalists outside of her realm having been slaughtered or turned into Wrathborn.
​
After the death of the High Celebrant and the events of the Season of the Lost, Kelgorath became the primary commander of Xivu Arath's forces in Sol and the ascendant Hive in charge of the Hidden Swarm. The new lore for A Distant Pull states that he and the Hive invaded immediately after Titan was Taken by the Witness and their goal was simple, to conquer Savathun's largest stronghold within our solar system, any loyalists of value would be bound to her will, and all others would be slaughtered in the name of War. However during this invasion, the Kelgorath's Hive performed a ritual that would consider heretical if Xivu Arath was as zealous in her worship of the sword logic as her brother, Necromancy.
"Held aloft in the claws of a central Acolyte was a Wizard's skull, recovered from the flame-licked wash before Titan's capture. The Acolyte delicately placed the skull upon a ragged sheet of conquered foe-flesh while others carved a circle of runes around it. The Acolytes took position over the runes. They threw their heads back and howled a discordant melody that ignited the rune-circle, consuming each of them in soulfire conflagration.... Each time the melody thrummed, an Acolyte turned to ash. Each time the melody thrummed, spilled Thrall viscera twisted into fetid swirls around the skull. Blood and ash was offered until none remained; the Knight stepped forward, brandishing a blade of deathly menace. The churning soulflame was drawn into the Knight's deathly blade, then plunged into the Wizard's skull. The runic circle projected an ancient realm, and the Knight felt watchful eyes leering from atop a distant Black Terrace perched above that projected realm. The thunderous response pressed him to his knees. KUDAZAD, BOUND, YOU ARE NAMED IN SERVICE"
​
Kelgorath led a ritual that brought back Kudazad, a wizard that we killed during the Red War when we fled to Titan. Why this wizard in particular is up to speculation but this means that alongside Xivu's widespread use of Scorn forces indicates that she is perfectly willing to employ the undead. This could potentially answers the Val Ca'uor question about he returned as a Taken. It is possible that he was revived then Taken.

In the vast expanse of the Mexican countryside, where the swaying fields of green met the endless stretch of blue sky, I had spent my seventy years as a humble rancher. My life had been defined by hard work, the warmth of the sun on my weathered face, and the unwavering faith that guided my every step. Family was the cornerstone of my existence, and the love that bound us together brought solace and joy to my heart.
It was my grandniece, Ana, who now resided in the bustling city of Los Angeles, who played an unexpected role in the strange journey that awaited me. Despite the miles that separated us, Ana had become a successful professional, and her heart overflowed with love and concern for her aging uncle. When she learned of my deteriorating health, she took it upon herself to arrange a special surgery in Arizona, hoping to restore my vitality and grant me a chance at a better life.
Full of gratitude and hope, I embarked on the journey, leaving behind the familiar sights and sounds of my homeland. Ana's support had brought me solace, as I clung to the belief that God's grace would guide me through any trial that lay ahead.
Little did I know that my journey to Arizona would lead me into the depths of a living nightmare, shattering the foundation of my faith and testing the very limits of my sanity. The surgery was meant to bring healing, but instead, it opened a door to a world of unspeakable horrors that would forever haunt my existence.
This is the harrowing tale of the creatures I encountered while under the influence of drugs, their relentless pursuit, and the grim realization that some nightmares extend far beyond the realms of our understanding. As I recount this chilling experience, let it serve as a warning that even the strongest faith and love cannot shield us from the darkness that lurks in the shadows, waiting to consume us whole.
As a seventy-year-old rancher from Mexico, I had experienced my fair share of hardships and unusual encounters. But nothing could have prepared me for the terrifying ordeal that unfolded after I was brought to Arizona for a special surgery. It was a routine procedure, they said, but little did I know that the anesthetics they administered would unlock a horrifying world beyond my imagination.
The moment the sedatives took hold, I found myself drifting into a nightmarish slumber. Shadows danced and twisted before my closed eyes, morphing into grotesque shapes that defied reason. When I awoke, disoriented and groggy, I found myself in a dimly lit hospital room. The air felt heavy, suffocating, and an eerie silence hung in the air.
I tried to call out for help, but my voice seemed to evaporate into thin air. Panic coursed through my veins as I struggled to make sense of my surroundings. Then, from the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of movement. Something skittered across the floor, quick and unnatural.
My heart pounded in my chest as I turned my gaze towards the source of the disturbance. My eyes widened in horror as I laid eyes upon the creatures that haunted my nightmares. They were humanoid in shape, but twisted and contorted beyond recognition. Their pale, mottled skin seemed to glisten under the dim light, and their elongated limbs moved with a jerky, unsettling motion.
Their eyes, oh god, their eyes were empty voids, devoid of any humanity or emotion. As I watched, they crept closer, their unsettling presence filling the room with an oppressive dread. I could feel their malevolence, an otherworldly aura that sent shivers down my spine.
Fear consumed me as I realized these creatures were not bound by the laws of our reality. They moved through walls and solid objects, effortlessly closing the distance between us. I tried to escape, to flee from the room and their relentless pursuit, but my body felt heavy and unresponsive.
With each passing moment, their numbers grew, their presence suffocating my very existence. Their clawed hands reached out towards me, their whispers echoing in my mind. Their incomprehensible language filled my head, driving me to the brink of madness. I could no longer distinguish reality from the hallucinations induced by the drugs.
Days turned into nights, and nights bled into an endless cycle of torment. Sleep became a mere illusion, a reprieve from the never-ending horror that plagued me. The creatures stalked me relentlessly, their eyes boring into my soul, taunting me with their existence.
I pleaded for mercy, begged for release from this hellish nightmare, but my cries fell upon deaf ears. No one could hear me, no one could save me from the nightmare that had become my reality. I was trapped in a twisted dimension, caught between life and death.
With the weight of my encounter with the haunting creatures pressing heavily on my soul, I sought solace in the company of my brothers. Juan and Miguel, both strong and unwavering in their support, listened intently as I recounted the terrifying ordeal that had befallen me. Their furrowed brows and concerned expressions revealed their genuine worry, but their practical minds sought a solution to this unearthly menace.
"We mustn't let these creatures continue to stalk you, hermano," Juan declared, his voice laced with determination. "We must find a way to confront them and rid you of this torment."
Miguel, the more skeptical of the two, took a moment to contemplate. "Perhaps we can lead them away, far from here. Out in the desert, where their presence won't harm anyone else."
Hope ignited within me as their plan unfolded. We would set up a campfire in the vast expanse of the desert, drawing the creatures away from populated areas. It seemed like a sound strategy, a way to buy some time and perhaps even find a solution.
As nightfall settled upon the arid landscape, my brothers and I ventured into the heart of the desert. With every step, I could feel the weight of their doubts pressing upon me. They were reluctant to fully embrace the extent of the horrors I had witnessed. Instead, they chose to drown their unease in the embrace of the bottle, their laughter echoing under the starlit sky.
But as the flickering flames cast eerie shadows upon the sand, I realized the creatures were drawing closer. The distant whispers and rustling sounds sent chills down my spine, urging me to abandon the camouflage we had created.
Summoning all the courage within me, I decided to lead the creatures further away, away from my beloved brothers and into the treacherous darkness of the desert. The pain of leaving them behind gnawed at my heart, but their inebriation had clouded their judgment, blinding them to the imminent danger.
As the first rays of dawn painted the horizon with hues of golden light, I turned to face the pursuing creatures. With each step, their presence grew more malevolent, their snarls echoing through the stillness of the desert. They lunged towards me, their claws outstretched, and I braced myself for the inevitable onslaught.
In that final confrontation, wounds appeared upon my flesh, marking me as a testament to the terrors I had endured. Though their touch sent searing pain through my body, I summoned the last vestiges of strength to fight back. Using all my willpower, I managed to block the creatures in an old, abandoned mine, the sunlight casting them into a prison of darkness.
Exhausted and battered, I limped my way back to civilization, hitching a ride with a kind-hearted Americano who sympathized with my plight. In the confines of the bus, I shared my story, hoping for understanding and validation. But as I revealed the wounds to the skeptical passengers, the sunlight exposed them for what they truly were—fresh scars, resembling those left by surgical incisions.
Their disbelief hung heavy in the air, skepticism etched on their faces. No one could fathom the horrors I had endured, the demons I had faced in that shadowed realm. Alone with my scars, I pondered the fickle nature of perception and the daunting task of convincing others of the unspeakable.
As the bus rumbled on, taking me closer to the sanctuary of my homeland, I knew that the creatures still lurked in the depths of that abandoned mine. They were trapped, but for how long? I held on to the hope that my encounter with them would remain a solitary nightmare, confined to the depths of the desert and buried within my memories.
But deep down, a gnawing fear lingered—an understanding that some terrors can never be truly vanquished, and their tendrils may stretch far beyond the boundaries of our comprehension.

I have a 2008 prius with a non-California (CARB) catalytic converter in it. It needs smog this year and won't pass here in California. I have a friend in Utah whose address I could use, how would I go about SMOG-ing and registering the car there?

We had our differences, we used to fight alot. My dad wasn't always present, but I think he tried. I just got a phone call telling me he died on a car crash. I don't know how to feel, what to think. It doesn't feel real. When I look it up There's nothing about it. I still feel like I'm going to get a phone call any minute now saying it's not true. Idk if I should be sad, or mad, or honestly glad. The last time I talked to my dad it went really well. We talked and we for along, we talked about ghost in the shell, life, philosophy and the last thing i said to him was "goodnight i love you, talk to you later." He lived his life very depressed, but his life was finally starting to look up. He rented his house out to a friend and he took a job that i thought would be really good for him. Idk what's going to happen. I'm going to inherited all his debt and his house. I feel so disconected like i could wake up at any minute.

I listen to metal and rock for the most part, I play on pc, used to play drums. I'm terrible at conversation irl unless I'm under the influence. Oh yeah, I like drinking. Ipas for the most part. It's OK if you end up ghosting after a bit of back and forth but if we get along then that's awesome. I'm open to talk about anything or even just to hear you out, just looking for some connection since I'm a lonely person.

Hey guys,
Will make a short table bellow, so you can skip the life story if needed.
About me: Business consultant, over 10y experience in renewables development (from fundraising to divestment). Plus 5yrs experience in financial mark td. BSc business adm. MSc strategic management in the UK (a while ago). Worked in the UK and US through a major financial company in the past. Have a half-sister in the us (national) but the sibling visa is over 10y wait now. Can work anywhere related to project finance , M&A or solar energy (from procurement to divestment, been there, done that)
My girl is a lawyer, focused on regulatory and corporate law. She's of German origin (great grandparent), but paper track where we live is really subpar.
I earn well, have enough savings to support myself and her for a couple years without an issue (but not enough for investor visa); also can remotely work with current contracts for a while until getting a job on the place.
Know English and Portuguese fluently, can get by with Spanish.
Main reason for leaving is the government situation over here and the incredible violence/shitty living standards. Tired of normalizing having a gun poitned to my stomach, family members kidnapped, not being able to walk in the street, having to use armored cars, etc. Can't think on becoming a parent in a place like this. Much less cover it's cost... Having a chauffer, private school, etc for him to have a chance in life sounds insane but became normalized. It's a war zone. Over 60 registered murders per 100k. Most are not even reported as police is utterly useless.
Core deciding factors are really the visa possibilities; safety and overall life quality.
I learn languages easily. So wouldn't really stress over needing to learn some different language, as long as it's not something impossible like Chinese or Polish.
Being "business" I guess really restricts my possibilities when looking at visa labour code lists heh.
Quick table:
Who: 34M business consultant (finance/renewables) & 30F lawyer Where: Anywhere safe/good life quality (can walk around, raise children without going bankrupt...) Why: Security, want to think about kids (schools, health system, sewage, etc) Languages: English, portuguese and bad Spanish. Can learn, don't mind.