Trigger Warning: Homophobia and mention of conversion therapy
My name is Billie and I was a passenger of the Midnight Train. The last part was about my arrival, a meeting with the Cinder Queen, a failed deal and a tragic death. In this part... well, I guess I make new friends.
I stood in front of the bald man I had seen several times by now, smiled, and asked the most important question in a cursed place like this. "So, are you human?"
He looked up and raised his eyebrows. "You should be careful. A question like this might offend some people", he informed me coldly. "But yes, I am just as human as you are. Is there anything I can help you with?" He spoke with a british accent, I noticed.
"Well... yeah. You see, I kind of made a friend yesterday and that Cinder Queen killed him, so I'm a bit lost right now and I figured... why not make a new friend?" I flashed an apologetic smile. "Listen, I saw this man turn into an ash monster like an hour ago and I really don't want to be alone right now, okay?"
"And you decided to approach me?" He didn't sound convinced in the slightest.
"You looked the least insane", I replied with a quick look at the man closest to us, who sat on the floor and rocked back and forth, all while dragging his fingernails over his arms and leaving red marks on his skin.
"You shouldn't be so rude. These people have been here for God knows how long."
"And you haven't." It was more a statement than a question.
"Three weeks and two days", he answered anyways.
"So you know a lot about this place, don't you?" I sat down on the empty seat next to him and turned towards him. "I need help. I've only arrived here yesterday and I barely know anything, but I don't wanna die here. I want to make it out of this train somehow and I'll be honest with you, I have no idea how to do that, but I know I'm gonna need help. So let's work together!"
The man, however, still looked entirely unconvinced by my offer. "And why would I consider this partnership? This isn't a place to make friends. And in case that this is supposed to be an attempt to steal my ticket, I must disappoint you since I don't possess one."
I'd lie if I said I hadn't thought about it. Stealing another passenger's ticket would probably be the easiest way to get out – maybe the only way, if what Derek had said was true – but finding someone who actually possessed one and getting my hands on their ticket without them noticing was far from easy. Borderline impossible even.
"I know a few things about this place", I said, because I felt like I was running out of options here. "My friend, Derek... he told me some stuff. I just think that it's important to have friends here, so we don't die or end up like them." I gestured towards the seemingly insane man again. "I'm not strong or anything, I know that, but I'm not stupid and I don't intend to die in a place like this. So please... please work with me here."
He sighed. "Will you go away if I say no?", he asked and in that moment I knew that he had made up his mind.
"Nope!", I answered with a bright grin.
"Fine then. Let's see how this works out for us." He offered his hand. "My name is John."
"Billie", I introduced myself, shaking his hand. "And that's my dog Kira."
Kira seemed to take this as a signal to nearly jump into our new friend's lap, barking happily. "Kira!", I called quickly and tried to pull the huge dog off of him. "Don't... shit, don't jump on people!" She didn't care in the slightest though.
John didn't seem too impressed. "No!", he told the dog firmly, which, to my surprise, made her stop in her movements. "No!", he said once again. "Sit!" And lo and behold, Kira actually let go off him and sat down. He nodded and reached out to pet her head. "You should train her better", he informed me.
"Hey, have some mercy on me, I've only had her for an hour", I replied.
"So she belonged to your dead friend, correct?"
"Yup", I confirmed with a bitter smile. "So, time to share some info, hm?"
We talked for a very long time. I told him everything that had happened since I had boarded the train – except for a few minor details like my failed deal – and he was especially interested in my encounter with the Cinder Queen, who he had managed to avoid so far. In return, I received some new information from him, for example that I should never eat food served by a waiter with a red bowtie.
There wasn't a lot of new information to share and we certainly didn't come up with any ideas to get out of the train, but I already felt better, now that I had a friend in this place.
Eventually we decided to make our way to the dining wagon, since we were both rather hungry. I was walking between John and Kira and for the first time, I felt almost confident while traversing the Midnight Train. Not that some random guy and a dog could do much if an entity decided to attack us, but I allowed myself this naive optimism at least for a short while.
When we entered a new wagon, I noticed the shift in the atmosphere immediately. The lights were darker, the air somehow heavier. Kira growled lowly. I stepped a bit closer to John.
A pained sound pierced the silence and I found myself looking at a sleeping man whose face was distorted in agony. I briefly wondered who would even think of sleeping outside of one's compartment, but that was only secondary as I watched him squirm in his seat. He threw his head from left to right, his body was twitching, he sounded like he was being tortured.
I was just about to ask John if he knew what was wrong with the man, but I didn't get the chance. Without warning, the man began to spasm harder and the nauseating sound of breaking bones echoed through the wagon as his limbs violently snapped into all wrong directions. He opened his mouth and a choked scream was cut short when he spat out some blood. His head snapped to the side, bones broke again, and then the body went limp.
Terrified by the grusome display, I grabbed John's arm and held onto him as if my life depended on it.
Above the now dead body, black smoke gathered and faded out again, as if it was trying to manifest into something, but after only a moment, it faded entirely as if it had never been there to begin with.
"What the hell was that?", I whispered, worried that talking too loudly would alert this terrible thing.
And John, who knew about every entity in this train, answered: "I have no idea, Billie."
I nodded and couldn't help but grab his arm a little tighter. "Let's get out of here", I said. "Before this shadow thing comes back."
He agreed and we made our way to the dining wagon, Kira in tow. As we walked through the wagon the man had just died in, I saw the pregnant woman again, sitting next to a window and blinking in confusion. For just a moment we locked eyes, but I quickly looked away, too scared that she might be something inhuman. I pitied her for being pregnant in a place like this, but I wouldn't take any risks now. Not when we didn't know what the black cloud had been.
Dinner went, against my expectations, without any distubances. The food was amazing and the evening was as pleasant as it could be in a place like the Midnight Train. John and I talked about the death we had witnessed and although I didn't want to relive this experience, I understood why it was neccessary. It was a new threat, a rather serious one even, and we had to unterstand it in order to stand a chance. The problem was that our discussion yielded no results.
We gave up eventually, after we finished the dessert, and I took the oppotunity to excuse myself to go back to my compartment. I was exhausted after all the terrible things that I had been forced to witness that day and all I wanted to do is lie down and process everything. John and I promised to meet the next day after the Fog disappeared in the same wagon we had met earlier and with that, I walked towards the compartments.
And in front of my door, I saw him. A young boy, not older than ten years, wearing simply blue clothes and an equally blue hat atop shaggy blonde hair. His eyes were pitch black and his mouth had been sewn shut with crude stitches, blood still seeped from the wounds. A huge bag hung from his shoulder and as soon as he saw me, he reached inside it and handed me some object.
"Oh... uhm... thanks?", I stuttered as I looked down at the small dagger that was now in my hands. "I guess having a weapon is always good, so..."
But the Distributor didn't even spare another glance, just turned around and walked off, his purpose apparently fulfilled. Well, at least that one wasn't a murderous maniac, I thought and stored the dagger away in my backpack as I entered the compartment.
I didn't contemplate the gift any more than that, since I was too tired to think straight. After making sure the door was closed, I collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep, Kira curled up next to me. I dreamed of ash and smoke that night, and of eyeless monsters that chased me down the dark hallways of the Midnight Train.
Of course I woke early from my nightmares, early enough to be wide awake when the white Fog tried to creep inside the compartment although it wasn't able to get in. I sat on my bed, Kira's head in my lap, and used the time to take a closer look at the Distributor's gift.
The dagger was rather plain, with a black hilt and a thin blade about the size of my hand that fitted perfectly into its little sheath. No matter how long I stared at it, I couldn't find a remarkable thing about it and so I eventually decided that it was just what it appeared to be. I didn't understand why the entity had given this to me, but I assumed that there was a reason, so I attached the sheath to my belt and waited for the deadly Fog to fade before I exited the compartment, Kira by my side.
I was on my way to meet with John, but as fate wanted it, I should never reach this destination.
"Hey! Hey, excuse me?"
About halfway through a seemingly empty wagon, I turned my head to see the pregnant woman beckoning me over. I hesitated for a moment, but quickly decided that I shouldn't turn down another sane human in a place like this and walked over to her. "Hey", I greeted. "What's up?"
The woman was young, I noticed. Mid twenties at most. "You were there yesterday, right? When that man died?", she asked, a nervous expression on her pretty face. "Can you tell me about it, please?"
Now that was an odd request, but I decided to humor her nonetheless. I quickly summarized the events without going into too much detail and watched her already pale face lose all its colour as I spoke. When I was finished, I noticed tears streaming down her face and without thinking about it I sat down and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, what's wrong? Did you know that guy?"
"No." She shook her head. "It's just... I think it's my baby's fault", she sobbed, both hands placed on her stomach.
I yawned, which was by far the least reasonable reaction to that. Annoyed at the fact that I hadn't slept nearly enough last night, I shook my head and then asked: "Excuse me... what?"
She looked up again and blinked the tears away. "Oh, sorry, that must sound so confusing. And I didn't even introduce myself. I'm Nyxia. Hi."
"Billie", I replied. "So, what's wrong with your kid?"
"I got pregnant with him on this train", she explained. "His father and I met here and it just sort of... happened. I got pregnant and his father died and..." She sighed. "I've had this terrible nightmares for most of the prenancy and they're getting worse. I think... I think my child's not normal because it was conceived in this cursed place. I think he causes the nightmares."
I had to admit, it sounded reasonable enough. Like something that could happen in a place like the Midnight Train. "And the guy who died?" I yawned again.
"I know it sounds insane. But I think the nightmares can kill." Nyxia almost whispered those last words.
Another yawn. Damn, I was tired.
Nyxia reached out and put a hand on my arm. "I'm sorry I bothered you with this, Billie. You should probably go, you look tired."
"I'm fine, just give me a minute." I rested my head against the wall behind me and just as I heard her call my name again, I had already closed my eyes.
It had only been a second, or at least it had felt no longer than that, but when I opened my eyes again, Nyxia was gone. Everyone was, actually. I was all alone, the lights were off, there was nothing in the windows except endless darkness, and the doors were wide open.
I stood up slowly, looking around the empty wagon. A nightmare, I realized. An incredibly realistic nightmare, conjured by the unborn child in the womb of the woman sitting next to me in the waking world.
A nightmare that could kill me, if the events from yesterday were any indication.
I was so screwed.
"That's what you get from being nice to people, you fucking moron", I muttered to myself as I made my way for the open door. Staying still would do no good anyways, and maybe I could outrun the murderous nightmare until someone woke me up.
I figured I had to rely on John. He would search for me when I wouldn't show up for our meeting, and maybe he could find some way to force me awake.
Until then, I just had to see what was waiting for me in this impossible place.
I hesitantly stepped over the threshold, which felt surreal in and of itself. Maybe this would be the only time I'd ever get to do this, I thought as I stepped into the black void that was waiting for me outside. It stretched on endlessly, devoid of any light, empty except for the train behind me and a staircase leading up to what I could only assume was the sky.
Due to a lack of options, I turned to the stairs and started to climb.
Weirdly enough, the climb wasn't exhausting, no matter how long I ascended the eternal staircase. I walked for what felt like hours without experiencing any change of scenery; the only noise were my steps on cold concrete and my rapid heartbeat echoing in my ears. I climbed without reaching a destination and for a while I wondered if I would stay in this void forever.
Until without warning, my surroundings changed and I realized that I was walking down now. Concrete turned into wood, an ugly carpet covered the steps now and I knew that pattern all too well. The railing on my left side, the mint green wall to my right, they were so familiar it made me nauseous. From all the places the nightmare could have sent me... why did it have to take me here?
I stopped on the last step, hands wrapped tightly around the wooden railing. To the left was an open door, leaving the view into the living room wide open. The two figures had their backs turned towards me, but there was no need to question their identities anyways. This entire scene was still fresh in my mind.
"Our own daughter!", the man exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his arms. "Where did we go wrong when we raised her? And with that Callister girl of all people." He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm going to beat this out of her."
The woman sighed. "Betty told me that there are... facilities for these people. Camps. Her sister has a son that was just like that and she said they fixed him in one of these camps. He's married now, has two kids."
"Call her tomorrow!", the man ordered immediately. "I'll talk to the Callisters first thing in the morning. Just... make sure no one else finds out. I don't need these... rumors to get in the way of my promotion."
It hurt more the second time. I didn't know why. I knew what they would say, I knew about the contempt and disgust in my father's voice and the sadness in my mother's. I knew about their plans to send me off to some place where I'd probably get tortured. I knew all that. I had heard it once already.
And yet here I was, biting my bottom lip open to keep myself from throwing up.
I turned around and hurried up the stairs, towards where my room had been, in this exact house in the waking world.
I remembered exactly what had happened when this scene had played out in real life. I had hurried to my room, packed my things and climbed out of my first-floor-window, no regrets about leaving my parents behind. Through the pouring rain I had run down the road towards Maggy Callister's house to warn her, only to find her window open and the bedroom abandoned, and I had felt relief flooding through me as I knew that she had made it out as well. I had gone straight to the train station then, and the rest was history.
Now, however, the nightmare wouldn't recreate this part of the night. The door to my room was there, it opened without resistance as I turned the knob, but as soon as I crossed the threshold, I was falling.
I was in water. Deep, dark water, endlessly stretching around me in a vast, empty ocean. It was cold enough to numb my limbs and I simply fell, impossibly slowly into a gaping black abyss. I didn't drown. There was simply no need for air, so I kept my mouth shut and my eyes open.
After only a moment, there was a figure in front of me. She was falling too, but in the opposite direction. A girl my age, in my clothes, with my hair and my eyes and my face. Bloody. Broken. Her skull caved in, her limbs at odd angles. She stopped falling and remained in front of me when we were face to face and after a moment I found the strength to lift an arm, reach out and touch to broken girl.
My fingers touched a cold surface and at that gentle contact, a cobweb of cracks spread through the ocean. "Do you like your fate, stranger?", the broken reflection asked. "Why didn't you let your parents fix you?"
I opened my mouth to reply and felt icy water flood my lungs. Suddenly I was drowning and I felt blinding panic surge through me. I was falling again, unable to move my body, the water burnt in my lungs.
And then I broke through the surface.
I expected to find myself in the middle of the open ocean, but I actually climbed out of a puddle in the middle of a lonely parking lot. Fog was hanging low over the rain wet concrete, clouds covered the sky and swallowed the sunlight before it could reach the ground. The parking lot was endless, just like everything in this nightmare seemed to be, and the only point of focus was an old silver car several metres in front of me.
At least the one who created this nightmare made it obvious what he wanted me to do.
I approached the car slowly, shivering as the wet clothes clung to my skin. "What if I don't want to get in?", I asked out loud.
The car's door swung open.
Icy wind blew over the parking lot and it felt like needles against my wet skin. I cursed under my breath and obeyed the dreamer's wish.
There was a man in the driver's seat. A man in an old taxi driver's uniform, with wrinkled skin and no face at all. "Good evening, stranger", he said with a friendly voice, despite having no mouth, and the car was already moving. The parking lot had been replaced by an empty street, passing lightless skyscrapers and empty sidewalks.
The seatbelt was fastened, although I had no recollection of doing so.
"So... where are we going?", I asked the faceless man as calmly as I could manage.
Someone on the backseat giggled.
"Don't turn around!", a hissing voice ordered before I got the chance to move. "Turn around and I'll kill you." It giggled again. "Just look at the street, stranger, look at where this lovely gentleman will take you."
"Who are you?" My voice was shaking.
"In your world? The phantom that dies in the sunrise. The terror from the depths of your mind, that preys on your most vulnerable moments. Where you come from, I shatter in the daylight, stranger. But here? I am everything."
"Stop speaking in riddles", I ordered, though my voice shook too much to convey a serious threat.
"But it's so easy. So terribly easy, and you don't get it?" Another giggle.
I shook my head. "I didn't say I don't get it", I corrected the thing. Before us, the scenery finally changed as we approached a sharp turn.
"Then who am I?" I felt cold breath against my ear, a hand almost touching my shoulder. "Answer that when we meet again, stranger."
The car reached the turn and then everything happened too fast. We crashed through the railing with full speed, I turned my head to the driver whose unconscious body was slumped against the steering wheel, the car ran down a hill straight towards a rushing, dirty river. I reached for the steering wheel, only to find it locked in place. A moment later, brown water crashed against the windows, swallowing the vehicle whole.
"Why is it always water?", I screamed in anger as I struggled to get the seatbelt undone. I had to get out of the car and I had to do it quick, because the water was already rising up to my ankles. We sank quickly, murky water already drowned out the bleak sunlight, and the water rose with unreasonable speed. The seatbelt didn't budge; I screamed in terror as I realized that I would drown, the fact that this was a mere dream temporarily forgotten.
And then I remembered something.
With shaking fingers I retrieved the small dagger from its sheath and its sharpened blade cut through the seatbelt with no resistance. Now freed from my restraint, I took a second to contemplate how to proceed, but decided that there was only one valid option. Staying in the car was certain death, but there was at least a small chance for me to reach the surface.
With all my strength, I hit the window next to me with the hilt of my dagger and the glass burst at the first impact. Water flooded the inside of the vehicle with a force I hadn't expected, keeping me from moving until the car was filled entirely. I held onto the dagger as if my life depended on it as I dragged myself through the windowframe, only to find myself blind in the murky water, not knowing up from down. Once again I was floating, my lungs were screaming for air, cold panic prevented me from forming any coherent thought.
So when I felt myself being pulled down by a strong current, I didn't even bother to struggle. Hands wrapped tightly around my dagger, eyes squeezed shut, I did nothing but wait for wherever the current would take me.
When I opened my eyes again, I was in the middle of a foyer that seemed to belong to a modern skyscraper. It was entirely empty, with white tiles on the floor, white walls in the far distance, white neon lights on the ceiling. There was no sound except for the water dripping from my hair and clothes hitting the floor. The only thing that stuck out from the white monotony was an elevator right in front of me.
"You know what? I fucking hate you!", I told the creator of the dream, but as always I gave in and approached the elevator after putting my dagger back into its sheath. I didn't want to get in, not after all that had already happened in this cursed nightmare, but as the doors opened without me doing anything, I stepped inside anyways. It was just as empty as the foyer, with a mirror wall opposite of the door as the only distinguishable feature.
"I swear to god, if you flood this thing with water I'm gonna kill you!", I informed the creator as the doors closed.
The thing was, nothing happened. The elevator started to move on its own, I could watch the number on the small display above the doors rise slowly, and absolutely nothing happened.
For a while I watched the display, but it didn't take long to grow paranoid of the mirror behind me, so I turned around and stared at my dripping wet reflection instead. I fully expected the girl in the mirror to move on its own, but she just stared back at me like any regular reflection would.
A while later, I screamed at the creator of the dream again, demanding to know what game he was playing and what he wanted from me. As usual, I received no answer.
Even later, I started singing whatever song came to my mind, just to break the silence before it drove me insane.
I was on edge the entire time, waiting for the inevitable terror the nightmare would throw at me, but there was only deafening silence and the ever increasing number on the little display. My body was shaking from nothing but the fear of what could happen at any given moment.
And just as I thought I would simply lose my mind, the doors opened.
I got up slowly, unsure wether my shaky legs could carry me. With hesitant steps I left the elevator, one hand against the cool walls to steady myself for as long as I could, until I crossed the threshold and stood on the rooftop of a skyscraper. Around me streched a monochrome city, white clouds hung so low that they almost touched the grey rooftops, strong winds tugged at my still wet clothes and made me shiver.
As I turned my head again, the elevator doors had vanished.
"You know, I didn't want to go back in there anyways", I told the creator, although I had actually prefered the elevator to this windy rooftop.
Turning back around, I saw an old woman sitting cross-legged on the floor.
"Uhm... hello?", I greeted her hesitantly.
The old woman lifted her arm very slowly and pointed towards the edge of the roof with a shaking hand.
I was confused at this point, but so far the nightmare had been rather obvious with what it wanted me to do, so I walked towards the edge and looked down. The ground was hidden somewhere in pale white fog, but there was a faint glow right below me, like a reflection of the sun – only that this was impossible due to the overcast sky above.
I turned to the old woman, whose hands rested in her lap again. "You don't want me to jump, right?"
In response, she lifted her arm again, pointing at the edge just like before.
"Okay! Okay, whatever! You got that part wrong, asshole, I'm not afraid of heights!", I screamed at the creator. It was true, I didn't care about heights, but what I did care an awful lot about was the deadly impact that would follow such a fall. However, I had survived more than one impossible scenario since I had entered the nightmare and I was confident that I would survive this fall as well. There was nowhere else to go anyways.
Without allowing myself to think about it for even a second, I took a step forward and fell.
The fall only lasted for a short moment before I hit the ground. The impact was hard enough to knock the air out of my lungs, but left me otherwise uninjured. I lay on the ground and gasped for air and only as I was able to breathe steadily I got back on my feet. As expected, I was in an entirely new location – a street illuminated by laterns, rain-wet cobblestone beneath my feet, black buildings on each side of the endless road and a pale white moon in the night sky above. It was oddly beautiful for a nightmare.
Not far from me was a lone cradle, black as everything in this place, and I could hear a baby crying. Slowly I took a step towards it, then another.
"You owe me an answer, stranger", a familiar hissing voice said close behind me and I stopped dead in my movement. "Who am I?"
I didn't turn around. It didn't threaten me this time, but I still didn't dare to look. "You know, at first I thought you were the one creating this dream... but that's not it. You're just the one tormenting this poor kid", I explained. "You're a nightmare, aren't you?"
The voice giggled. "Oh, aren't you a smart one? Finally someone gets it! Congratulations, stranger, you're prize is... death."
"Oh fuck off." My hands slowly rose to the hilt of my dagger.
"Excuse me?"
"You're nothing special", I informed it. "You think you're oh so great, but you said it yourself, your pathetic ass shatters in the daylight. And since this damn place doesn't have a sunrise..." I pulled my dagger from its sheath. "I'll just shatter you myself."
Not giving it any time to respond, I spun around and with barely a glance at the surprisingly human form of the nightmare, I plunged my dagger deep into its chest.
There was no sound. No agonized scream as the blade pierced its heart. It simply collapsed to the ground and lay still, dead, its rigid eyes looking up at the sky. For a moment, I looked down at its body, but I couldn't bring myself to be surprised at its face resembling my father's. It should have made my stomach turn, but it felt weirdly carthartic instead.
The child in the cradle was still crying and now that the nightmare was dead, I turned around and approached it. I picked it up and even though it was wrapped in layers of blankets I could see how small and frail it was, even for a newborn. I had never held a baby, but I tried my best to gently hold it in my arms. "It's okay now", I told the child. "The nightmare's dead."
Laughter echoed through the street and for a second I expected the worst, but when I looked up it wasn't the nightmare I saw. In front of me stood a young person, a child still, with long white hair. They only had one eye, so dark it was almost black, their body was frail and their skin greyish pale. "You think my nightmare was bothering me?", they asked, a smirk on their thin lips.
I looked down at the newborn in my arms and then back to the white-haired child. "This is impossible", I whispered.
They raised an eyebrow. "Really? You survived so much and this is where you draw the line?"
"Yes! Yes, I draw the fucking line here! You're... you're not even born yet. How the hell are you even conscious?"
"I don't know, stranger, I just am", they answered calmly.
"Okay." I took another look at the baby in my arms, which had stopped crying at this point. "Which one is the real you, Dreamer?"
They chuckled. "Both. Neither. Times means nothing in my realm, stranger."
I didn't bother pretending to understand at this point. "Whatever. Just... what do you mean, the nightmare didn't bother you? He killed the people who entered this dream, right? You accidentally manifested a nightmare and it went on a rampage? I killed the it and now the baby stopped crying and everything's good?" Slightly exasperated, I gestured at the now calm baby in my arm.
The Dreamer looked at me for a moment before bursting into laughter again. "What a cute little story, stranger, but I must disappoint you. There was nothing accidental about the creation of this nightmare", they explained. "It trapped humans in this place, showed them their worst fears and eventually tore them apart simply because I wanted it to do so. But it was imperfect... relied to much on all those common fears, with no regard of who it was dealing with." They smiled. "I think I won't create another. From now on... I'll form the dreams all by myself."
"Why?" I felt sick to my stomach. "Why are you doing this?"
And this child, this incredibly young child, smiled at me so coldly that I felt a shiver down my spine. "Why not?", they replied, lacking any emotion in their singular black eye.
I could have said a million things in response to this, but a single look at the Dreamer made clear that they wouldn't care about any of these reasons. "Are you going to kill me now?", I asked instead, holding the baby a little closer. I wondered if the dream would collapse if I killed the child. Sure, it would be cruel, but...
"Not at all", the Dreamer answered, interrupting my rather violent thoughts. "Killing is rather boring, compared to the alternative." They took a step closer. "And you entertained me well enough, stranger. I'll let you go."
"T-thank you", I stuttered quickly, silently praying that the cruel child wasn't lying.
"Oh please. You're thanking me?" It scoffed, as thick white fog rose around us. "That's just pathetic, stranger."
The world drowned in white and a second later I opened my eyes back in the Midnight Train.
I blinked against the way too bright lights, my brain desperately trying to catch up with the sudden change in scenery. Nyxia sat next to me, worry written across her face, but that was secondary to the person who stood right in front of me. He had been looking for me, I realized.
"John!", I exclaimed, jumped to my feet and pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm so glad to see you!"
"It's good to see you're alright", he replied. Although he hesitated for a moment, he reciprocated my hug.
Eventually I let go off him and knelt down on the floor, where my giant dog was sitting and looking at me. "Hey Kira", I greeted her and hugged her as well. "It's okay, baby, I'm alive."
"What happened?", John asked. "I couldn't wake you up and this lady" – he pointed at Nyxia – "claimed it was her unborn child's fault."
"Yeah... she's right about that." And with that, I started to explain what had happened, from the moment the Distributor had handed me the dagger – which was gone now, apparently lost in the dreamworld – to my eventual escape from the nightmare. However, I didn't get to finish my story.
When I was about halfway done, our little group was approached by the Conductor. "Excuse me, Ma'am?", he said to Nyxia. "We will arrive at your destination in a few minutes."
The pregnant woman blinked in confusion. "Excuse me... this must be a misunderstanding? I don't have a ticket."
The Conductor shook his head. "No misunderstanding, Ma'am. Please make sure you leave nothing of importance behind and thank you for choosing the Midnight Train." With that, he turned back around and walked away.
"I can leave. They let me leave." A bright smile appeared on Nyxia's face. "I can't believe it."
"That's amazing", I agreed. And indeed, to me this was a glimmer of hope. If this woman could leave despite not having a ticket, the same could be possible for me. Maybe I could get out of here, after all.
The train stopped and John and I followed Nyxia to the door to see her off. They were wide open now, giving way to a stunning view of a town's gothic architecture. "So this is where to train wants me to be", Nyxia said. "At least I get to raise my child somewhere other than this cursed place."
"Nyxia..." I sighed. "Get rid of the child." It was a rude thing to say, but with the image of the Dreamer's emotionless stare fresh in my mind, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "It's already so cruel... you don't know what it will do when it's born."
She just stared at me for a moment before shaking her head. "I don't know what you dreamed, but he won't turn out that way. He won't have any reason to be cruel, because I'll be there for him." She put a hand on her stomach. "Trust me on this, Billie."
I didn't, really, but it wasn't like I had a choice. "Good luck then."
"Thank you! Good luck to the both of you too. I hope you'll make it out like I did." With one last smile towards us, she turned around and crossed the threshold, leaving the Midnight Train behind for good.
John, Kira and I stood there and watched her walk down the road, towards the town in the near distance.
"Don't get your hopes up too high, Billie", John said to me. "If what you told me is true, the train probably just wanted to get rid of this entity before it could be born. It didn't let her go out of mercy."
It was a valid theory. Probably the only valid one.
"We'll find another way then", I shrugged. "Right?"
He put a hand on my shoulder. "We'll try."
I wasn't sure what would happen next. For now I was just relieved that I had survived the whole ordeal unscathered, which was a miracle in and of itself. There were still a thousand obstacles between me and my freedom, but I had just watched a woman walk away from this place and despite John's rather realistic reasoning, it had given me hope. There was a chance for me to make it out alive and I would find a way, no matter how long it would take.
The doors shut in front of us and I turned to John, an exhausted but genuine smile on my face. "Let's go eat something, shall we?"
I think this is enough for now. In the next part we'll leave the train for a bit to explore one of its destinations and we'll even meet a new passenger.
Until then, don't let your nightmares scare you.
They'll always fall apart in the sunrise.
- To Be Continued -

Edit: oh, I thought this got posted last night. This ones a doozy you guys. Sorry, it's not, well, its kind of related to being Mormon... I mean, it's in the same ethical framework, I'm exchristian too, I just, uh, went the other direction. Anyways, I missed class, I overslept, so I'm heading over to the schizophrenia subreddit to try telling them over there. They can probably relate at least, I'm sure none of them will listen to me either but, I'm at work, you know what I mean? I can't not be doing anything, no matter how pointless it may seem. We're prospectors after all: gotta keep panning that river am I right, squad? Luh you fam. Don't tear my head off, please. The songs make a movie if you watch then in order. It's all whatever, I had a great time making it for you guys, regardless if anybody wants to play my game or not, I know it's pretty long. Anyways,
Hey whats up you guys, it's Michael, I'm an angel. Well, that's what I tell people online, anyways. I typically don't tell people in person, it just makes for an awkward conversation, and I just don't have enough energy to act weird enough for them to consider it so like... you know, it's just stupid. It's typically a waste of time. "Oh but if you're Michael then blah blah blah" I'm like yeah... boop. Switching gears:: the man does not care in the slightest. Your boy, my sweet ex Mormons, your friend here, who, obviously, is suffering from delusions of Grandeur and... you know, just NARCICISM, is simply looking for attention. Pshhh, ok homie. I mean yeah, wouldn't you? Like what else am I trying to do. Like hello. Like let's get this thing moving, good grief what the heck do I have to do? I could heal someone... I'm still working on my eyes... my powers have been, slightly extended... anyways, holy crap you guys, I'm sorry, this post isn't even about that. I just got off work, I'm just sort of still unwinding. Pretty hilarious day not gonna lie to you. So anyways, basically, I just, well, I'm starting to anyways, but I pick a sub and then I do like a Playlist of whatever type jams I'm listening to. Your boy loves kpop you guys, they sing like angels, don't you think? Anyways... how it works is, I'll play a song, you'll either listen or watch it, it's up to you, and then, uh, you read, uh yeah you read the words that I had typed on the screen. Oh and I'm ex adventist if that counts for anything, that's sort of like Mormon, except Mormonisms better: Mormon dudes get a ton of chicks. That's a religion after my own heart right there.
Alrighty, let's get started.... mmmmm.... what're we feeling... yuhh ok I got one... https://youtu.be/uiUAq4aVTjY.... boom goes the dynamite. I'm on mobile so I can't type while I watch the song, so if I have anything; jfc why am I explaining this.
Yoooo, next up homiesssss: https://youtu.be/h2S3RvIHwGs kapshhhh yo you guys wanna listen to some angel music later? I'm thinking there's a few we could play, Gloria's uhhhh I don't know if Gloria has anything new out but Gabriel and Anik and those guys all have like, er they just came out with a new album or whatever. Ooo, actually I haven't heard it yet, you guys wanna listen to one of theirs right now? Well wait, I already picked one. Ok do this one for now, we can listen to the other Archangels later, they're not going anywhere.
Wouldn't stop until I say so, alright, holy crap that went on for far too long. Took me until 3:20 to remember that I have free will and, uh, this isn't actually a livestream, I don't actually have to listen to the entire song: you guys aren't wearing my headphones right now. Honestly you guys it's a miracle I'm able to get out of bed at all in the morning, you'd think I'd be eating out of a tube in a deluxe gazebo right now if you catch my SABLABLE. sablablsablablsablabllabllabllablabl oh wait song ok yo so, that was kind of terrible I'm sorry you guys I mean but you still have to listen to it. Oh wait, you guys are exmormons, so you're not gonna do what Jesus says, are you? Dang it. Alright look, we can make a deal. I'll be Jesus and you'll do what I ask, but, you're gonna be Mr Swunkles and we're gonna put you in a little bonnet and put you up in your wittwe high chair, yes we are, and we're going to put you with Mr Stinky, oh yes, oh yes we is.. ok, um GOT IT. Brb. Boom.
Ok, yo, that one was a bop. Such a vibe, man. Alright, so now we're gonna play one that I wrote for Gabriel and Anik and Zoaster and whoever else is over there, iunno, Gabriel was the only one who's voice I remembered. Anyways, you're not going to believe this, but I'll tell you anyways, because it's hilarious. So like, I'm on acid. And like, I'm like talking to all these people telepathically. And I hear Gabriel, I don't remember exactly how the conversation went, but, basically, I gave him a song, I was in a state of mind where I could like instantly create and transfer to him because like, that's how we're built, we can do that kind of stuff when we're in our unfallen state. I imagine most of us are in a fallen state by this point, but you can get it back with psychedelics. Anyways, I give him a song, and I tell him, I'm like yo if this is real put a Mexican restaurant song on your album. So then a couple months go by, blah blah blah, yeah whatever, it's all whatever it was just he like I sent them a song or whatever, it's no big deal. But anyways here's Gabriel and my other bros. Oh but we're not going to play the song I wrote, it doesn't have a video and it's honestly not one of my favorites. Like it's cool but like, I dunno I'm kind of over the whole thing, like there's oh my God I'm doing it again, here: https://youtu.be/7bDg7n-chhU.
Man, made it to the end of that one, that's for sure. Man, they're so freaking cool you guys. Freaking bunch of like you guys, like that's like the Capitol you know what I mean? Like when I get to them it's going to be like there's a new White House. It's only a matter of time; because I, am, the baddest of them all, and if you not bout money, then I don't mess with yall. Yall think I won't get girls, cuz I ain't very tall, something bout my stacks, I betchu that she calls. Anyways uh, I'm feeling more a7x, for sure dude, alright yeah let's play the one I sent them. Here https://youtu.be/5N-tTKERxj8
Damn dude I take it back, that song go hard as frig pancakes my guy. Haha, you get it you guys; because you were Mormon. Haha, oh, darn. Gee whiz you guys. Yikes! 😂😏😉🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 alright uh what're we talking about rn, haha oh yeah, haha ok you guys aren't gonna buy this either... haha you guys wanna watch my wives send me messages? Lmao bruh you guys I am fully insane haha it is like what the frimminy frim frim am I right you guys? But watch this and know what I know. https://youtu.be/c9RzZpV460k
You guys there's no way, I mean come on, there's no way. We're all in agreement you guys. I'm insane, I'm like bipolar or whatever. Cuz there's no freaking way, man. Anyways I want to watch more Red Velvet, let's see, uhhh how about this one, this one's pretty. I never could have gotten to this point without the help of Kpop girls. Imma, here, hold this, I'm gonna go throw myself a nice little slumber party down at the happy times funhouse silly head ranch down on Bartholemew and Brownlee, holy fucking shit man. Haha but fr, like, people think I'm like, schiczi... oh My God, haha how does this keep happening haha. Ok wait haha what haha uh did I link it https://youtu.be/R9At2ICm4LQ
I'm not going to lie to you guys, those chicks make me feel retarded: so retarded that I actually use the word retarded in a sentence online, just to see how it feels. It feels incredible. Absolutely incredible: I'm on cloud nine, because, basically: I'm Young Dolph. So anyways, whoo whoooooo aiight aight aight aight now hollup, now hollup righ qui... blassohftypashhh, camasabringinaquaa... cabringinawhambadahwandarandathemdorktlpftyms? Is basically, wait, what level is this, DUMB DUMB. https://youtu.be/XGdbaEDVWp0 It's funny because I'm actually stupid enough to think that there are messages for me in these songs. Ahh, I shouldn't beat myself up... it's pretty sweet, either way. Like come on you guys, know that you know all of the famous people, like just know that. Just like know that you put them there, or whatever. Anyways, what? Anyways, so oh shit I already linked it haha yuhhhhh.
Anyways, there's like, symbolism in the video if you know what to look for, it's just like everything else in my life. Every step has just led to this, that's all it ever was. Anyways, yuh, let's blast off... lemme think... yuhh I'm feeling it, ok hold up: here.
Dang. That was awesome. They're so fire. I know they're not really my wives you guys, I know that. They could be. I could... you guys... now... ok... now hear me out... what if... and I'm just saying maybe.............................
Ok ur good. Ok wait wh nope can't uh can't uh I dunno I du I'm not scrolling back up I don't care... oh but yeah let's like become Mormon or whatever. But like, the good kind of Mormon, where all the coolest people get a ton of bitches. Yo that's shit so fire you guys. I'm gonna marry all the kpop girls, watch. I'm God's Son dude, what you think they're not gonna wanna fuck with God's Son? I freaking make people bro. Anyways, whatever; suckin down on farts in the afterburner: davy jones locker. Anyways, wuddup, oh yo, EVERGLOWW?? Dude, freaking everglow you guys. Glorious little sock puppets, you guys. My sweetest queen bees, my fine lil poppin ladies. I'll find it, hold up, I only know of one that has lyrics. https://youtu.be/Z3RA7bi5FUM I don't write em all on the earth, a lot I was writing in dream states, that was right before I saw the man with the hand puppet and he made me laugh! Haha he was so fun, I had a good time there with him, haha it was a good time, I enjoyed my time, thank you. The time: call it, Chef.
Yo, everglow goes so hard. They're my favorite Christian rock band. https://youtu.be/-2X-pL06628 yoho m8ees it be ur ol pal Mr squidward here, yoho m8ees, let me, oh I'm ol Mr squidward, let me play my boohoin on my old clarinet; ol clarry, kim kim kim buree!! KaKAW kaKAW flap into phone pole fall on egg :egg brake: >:< < Fuck that song went hard, haha yo, this one was savage when it came out but like yo like everything is timed you know what I mean... like how would any of God's plans work if we didn't have cheats? We're beta testers dude. https://youtu.be/JUJ3Pq74H4c
Good grief man, what even is reality. Like what the hell is even going on right now. Like do you know? I do, sort of. So, ya know, basically, what I'm saying, is that I got one of those Navage things and I've been cleaning my nose with it every single night. I gotta tell you Maurice, you're a hell of a guy for recommending that to me.
Yo let's watch some aespa duuuuuudes BOOP #avonpark
https://youtu.be/4TWR90KJl84 yo aespas so hard, I f with their stuff you know what I mean.
That song's so hard, what about, ok I got one more aespa song and then we can do something else because like, this isn't like, I don't even know why I'm talking about this stuff. It's just what I've been doing I guess. It's whatever, haha what am, where lol the exm haa oh haha that's funny haha oh ok yeah ok one more aespa, here. Don't stay up too late! Ah man I've got school tomorrow. Ughhb why-
So sums up Sabbath school. Um... Sunday you guys? When did I ever say Sunday? When did... WHEN THE... WHEN THE *. . . ALRIGHT NOW... HOLD THE * UP...
Time for the kids to go to bed, ladies. Fellas, bust out your codpiece, because let's face it:
M(3/4mt+-sqrtPI/mc+hammer){
Var mychemicalromance = true; Var Blumpflifm
Yo this ones fire https://youtu.be/krzf1hkFAZA
That's a freaking bop you guys. This one is too. https://youtu.be/F-QTb-0wRGk OO ok yes it is a bop but I'm not listening to that one right now, I'm gonna DO haha do you GET it because I'm hehe well, snort don't you know hehe why yes why haha why yes quite I am, why yes hawhawhawwwww haw haww hawwwwww hawwwwwww hawwwwwww where am I ok hold up ok wait a second alright I've https://youtu.be/xGr53sCo62c
This ones good https://youtu.be/Ut1OzEVUiM4 yo the mountains are calling. Plan your next visit at Gatlinburg.com. BROUGHT TO YOU IN PART BY GATLINBURG.COM: GATLINBURG.COM, WHEN YOURE HERE, YOUR DADDIES LITTLE DINKY WINKY AWENT U. OH MY GOODENESS. WHOS SUCH A GOOD LIL PUPPY YOU ARE YES IT IS YOU IT IS YOU THA
Like don't you guys get it? Kpop girls are telling me to man up and save the world, all by myself. But, like, and see if you look, if you look here, past this diblansque, you'll see le petit mon cheri,
https://youtu.be/Qpf26PtBXgo yo if you watch all these in order your head might explode I'm not sure haha I'm not sure I mean like I know what the
Yo pop off https://youtu.be/pyf8cbqyfPs
It's a muh flippin bop you guys. Alright watch this one and then go to bed. https://youtu.be/_EEo-iE5u_A
https://youtu.be/c-M34ZRM120
https://youtu.be/omsSQLFzNec I've actually never heard this one, I've never listened to this album. Oh my goodness, you guys wouldn't believe it, I used to... I thought these guys were angels. Lmao yeah, yeah, about a hundred thousand years ago. I thought that, back then. Now though, it's-
Pretty damn clean, nice. That was a ride, always man, these guys man, they just get better and better and more creative and it's just awesome to see. They're awesome musicians, in any case. And if you're wondering about whether or not I'm in love with Matthew Sanders: only if he's ready to ride the Cyclometer. The Cyclometer: standing at over 9 feet, 9 inches tall, the Cyclometer is the newest function of the Metroidvania series. Join Koan, Rainbow and Blath as they adventure into the Cyclonian exhibit: Brace yourself as you Join a team of jerhttps://youtu.be/_qa1YijBj0Y
https://youtu.be/GI6CfKcMhjY
https://youtu.be/wq0mbynj4_k
https://youtu.be/1xcSDYy3Dl4
https://youtu.be/rmqcWggCqeU damn they look so fire
https://youtu.be/m1xFhFJcBB0
https://youtu.be/AKg_9dn_VmA
https://youtu.be/icXUkIfZxyg
https://youtu.be/lCPwR7R4hlA
https://youtu.be/wLdlw46Ru9I I keep trying to play "I'm ***ing **" by me and Justin Bieber, but it's not out yet.
https://youtu.be/E_Vez_aKIyI
https://youtu.be/-TNckXgfYhA
https://youtu.be/-_pj39Xeabo they's some bois brehs, shoot guys it's getting kind of late on my end, I've got school in the morning. This one works in the small screen. This song is dope. The other one, not this one. Well like the previous like whatever this one is too.
https://youtu.be/xUDOxunUxuo
.
https://youtu.be/gMe1c4UegBY
https://youtu.be/iTgcp1oDk2M
https://youtu.be/vPwaXytZcgI what's a rainbow, again? A spectrum?
https://youtu.be/zQELp93xxfo
https://youtu.be/mAKsZ26SabQ it's a great song alright
https://youtu.be/ZdKYi5ekshM
https://youtu.be/-qWkCJgf1to
https://youtu.be/pNfTK39k55U
https://youtu.be/zndvqTc4P9I
https://youtu.be/F-QTb-0wRGk
https://youtu.be/Hbb5GPxXF1w
https://youtu.be/9oyodEkzn94
https://youtu.be/MjCZfZfucEc
https://youtu.be/w4cTYnOPdNk
https://youtu.be/k6jqx9kZgPM
https://youtu.be/lpwG8f9nt4s
https://youtu.be/TJuwhCIQQTs
https://youtu.be/KSH-FVVtTf0
https://youtu.be/r6TwzSGYycM
https://youtu.be/tAoME_aMm1w
https://youtu.be/UJfZ69MSlvY
https://youtu.be/1ZRb1we80kM
https://youtu.be/D8t8A8E_Tqc
https://youtu.be/iIPH8LFYFRk
https://youtu.be/om3n2ni8luE
https://youtu.be/AbZH7XWDW_k
https://youtu.be/1QD0FeZyDtQ
https://youtu.be/e_04ZrNroTo
https://youtu.be/Dc9CkC6n0Z8
https://youtu.be/p1bjnyDqI9k
https://youtu.be/1nCLBTmjJBY
https://youtu.be/h97jt1XtnGQ
https://youtu.be/srK7Vj5p9Tg
https://youtu.be/QpAn9ryoB4Y
https://youtu.be/zVO5xTAbxm8
https://youtu.be/s-zRAQmKUkI
https://youtu.be/o4wJGWcHzVA
https://youtu.be/v0f9ifrDSp8
https://youtu.be/X9fLbfzCqWw
https://youtu.be/vHS9E6JFja8
https://youtu.be/Jb2stN7kH28
https://youtu.be/J0h8-OTC38I
https://youtu.be/kHLHSlExFis
.
Nite, had fun. Definitely uhh... that was just... this is just what I do, you know what I mean? I like go around to different subs and DJ for em. It's just like a dropping thru type thing. If you stayed for any of it I hope you had a trill time. All my dudes and chicas really do be some trill ones, my ex morms, my good ol, hingle dingle pangle pingle porcupine pumpkins, ey? Oy deh bruv, u got wot today scrub. Oi I reckon we dis govna. Oy sir,

i'm posting on mobile so i apologize for the formatting everyone! this is also my first time posting so i'll do my best to tell this fully. i, (20f), have had 3c/4a hair my entire life and have only recently started styling my hair curly and letting it be natural rather than straightening it. in starting this journey of treating my natural hair better, one of the things that was recommended to me by my hairdresser was sleeping in a satin bonnet to help keep my curls fresh and prevent frizz overnight. i recently spent the night at my boyfriends house (20m) and his sister, (18f) saw me in the bonnet when i was going to bed and gave me a weird look. the next day, she complained to my boyfriend that me using the bonnet for my hair was appropriating black culture and made her uncomfortable. i am white and i know bonnets are more popular in black culture but i thought that was simply because the majority of white people have straight hair and don't need bonnets. i wasn't trying to appropriate any culture, i was just trying to take better care of my hair, but my bf's sister is pretty upset with me, so i'm wondering, AITA??

My ex(baby dad) m29 and I f26 have been broken up and off and on for 8 years. I’ve been made aware by my daughter that he’s been hanging out with a girl around her. It’s been about 6-7 months. My baby dad lives with his parents so they only hangout outside the house. Well recently we’ve been arguing a lot and he sent a message that made me think he probably wasn’t involved with the girl anymore. He said “…you got all those intense feelings brought back why? Because she was white?” For context I’m black and he thought I cared about her being white. I don’t, she could be any skin color and I’d still be jealous. I just want to work on things with him and get back together for good this time. Based on that message using past tense language, do you think they’re still seeing each other?

Hello, and welcome to Music’s Biggest Night!
That’s right, it’s the GRAMMYs. The year is 1994 and our category is Best Alternative Music Album. We’ll be rating each of the five nominees on Indieheads, but before we get to the nominees, a quick word about rates.
Hey, quick question, what are rates?
Obviously, if you're familiar with the process, skip this. But if you're new, I'll explain so this doesn't seem like a wild block of text!
Rates are a subreddit game in which a user scores a group of songs on a scale from 1-10, with each individual also given a single 11 and a single 0 to be used exactly once per rate. They will then message their ballot to the rate host, who will tally up all the points and then reveal the final results over a weekend, eliminating songs one by one until the last track remaining wins the rate and bragging rights forever. While there's just a bit more to know, I feel this is the basics of what you'll need to understand what's going on. I do recommend this video made by our popheads brethren to get a fuller picture; while some of the info applies specifically to the way popheads do their rates, the overall format is similar.

Introduction

The GRAMMYs are awards presented by The Recording Academy of the United States to recognize outstanding achievements in the music industry. The name derives from the trophy, which is shaped like an old-fashioned gramophone. The awards celebrate a variety of categories, but we’re going to be looking at Best Alternative Music Album or, as it was called at the time, Best Alternative Music Performance. The question of what "alternative" really means can be debated forever, but the original intent of this award was to celebrate non-mainstream rock albums which were heavily played on college radio. The category first appeared in 1991, so in 1994 the award is still pretty new.
And now, let’s meet our nominees!

Belly - Star

Belly are the act here that seem discussed least frequently on Indieheads, so I’m excited to see what everyone thinks of them. By the time of starting Belly, Tanya Donelly (lead vocals and rhythm guitar) had already been in two other classic indie rock bands. She was a co-founder of Throwing Muses with her step-sister Kristin Hersch, contributing vocals and guitar for the band’s first decade, though she’d only get a handful of songs per album. Donelly would later start The Breeders with Pixies bassist and vocalist Kim Deal. The Breeders’ debut, Pod, featured Deal as the primary songwriter because existing record contracts prohibited the two from sharing primary writing credits. While they originally intended to alternate albums, Tanya had begun to form Belly by the time it was her turn to do a Breeders album. She recruited Fred Abong (bass) and brothers Tom (guitar) and Chris (drums) Gorman as they’d all known each other while going to high school in Rhode Island.
Belly co-produced most of their 1993 debut Star with Tracy Chisholm. Gil Norton, who’d previously produced Throwing Muses’ self-titled debut, produced four tracks, including singles "Gepetto," "Slow Dog," and "Feed the Tree." "Feed the Tree," one of the album’s highlights, would be the band’s highest charting hit, reaching 95th on the Billboard Hot 100 and topping the Modern Rock Chart. Star is an effective fusion of alternative rock with jangle pop, dream pop, "haunting" folk, and even some light country influences. At the 1994 GRAMMYs, Belly were also up for Best New Artist with Blind Melon, Digable Planets, and SWV, ultimately losing to R&B singer Toni Braxton. Belly released a sophomore album King in 1995 and Donelly released several solo albums before reuniting with the King lineup to release a third album in 2018. While Star may not have achieved the canonical stature of some of 1994’s other nominees, it is nevertheless a very enjoyable release from a strong songwriter who’d finally gotten the chance to make an album-length statement of her own.
Are Indieheads gonna feed the tree? Will this be an album to die for?
Tracklist:

1. Someone to Die For
2. Angel
3. Dusted
4. Every Word
5. Gepetto
6. Witch
7. Slow Dog
8. Low Red Moon
9. Feed The Tree
10. Full Moon, Empty Heart
11. White Belly
12. Untogether
13. Star
14. Sad Dress
15. Stay

Nirvana - In Utero

If you were wondering where "Heart Shaped Box" was in the Guitar Hero Rate, well I’ve got a treat for you!
Kurt Cobain (vocals and guitar) and Krist Novoselic (bass) met while attending Aberdeen High School in the late 1980s. They shuffled through various names, ultimately deciding on Nirvana because Cobain wanted a name that sounded beautiful and nice instead of mean and raunchy. In their early years, they worked with several different drummers, recording 1989’s Sub Pop debut Bleach with Chad Channing on drums. Channing left the band as they worked on their follow-up. Kurt and Krist met drummer Dave Grohl days after he’d moved to Seattle following the break up of his Washington DC band Scream. The addition of Dave solidified Nirvana’s classic lineup. The trio began seeking a major label to buy them out of their Sub Pop contract as they were dissatisfied with the label’s lack of promotion and distribution of their debut. They eventually signed with DGC Records per the recommendation of Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon. Upon signing, they began work on their major label debut, Nevermind, with producer Butch Vig. 1991’s Nevermind was an unexpected success, bringing grunge and alternative rock to the mainstream and even surpassing Michael Jackson on the Billboard albums chart.
In the aftermath of Nevermind’s success, Cobain felt he needed to reclaim his punk ethic. Wanting to depart from Butch Vig’s slick production (don’t worry, we’ll still be hearing from Vig a little later), he sought to work with Steve Albini. Albini was famous in the underground for his work as frontman for Big Black and various production work, including PJ Harvey’s Dry. He sent a copy of Dry to Cobain to give him an idea of the acoustics in his studio. Albini dismissed Nirvana as "R.E.M. with a fuzzbox" (more on R.E.M. soon!) but decided to work with them because he felt bad for them, recognizing them as "the same sort of people as all the small-fry bands I deal with." The band pushed for minimal label oversight and recorded In Utero quickly, wrapping recording sessions in as little as 13 days. The album was noisier and more abrasive than Nevermind, resulting in much dispute between the band, Albini, and the label. Cobain sought to make the kind of record he’d enjoy owning as a fan but began having second thoughts about the sound when listening to it at home. The press picked up on conflict about the album’s sound. The band denied this and DGC president David Geffen called Newsweek to explain they would release whatever Nirvana recorded. Behind the scenes, the band tried to fix the album’s sound in the mastering process, which Albini was strongly against. He’d later supply an alternate mix for the album’s 20th anniversary re-release. R.E.M producer Scott Litt was brought on to remix "Heart Shaped Box" and "All Apologies" which were intended to be the album’s singles.
In Utero was released in September of 1993 following a low-key release strategy which sent "Heart Shaped Box" as a promo-only single to various rock station formats but not Top 40. Walmart and K-Mart initially refused to stock the album due to its back cover and the title of the song "Rape Me." (A content note on that song, while it is interpreted as commentary on the invasive music press, it was intended to be a lyrically literal anti-rape song from the perspective of a victim. As this is a rate, you can score this song however you see fit, but I hope it goes without saying that everyone should please be respectful of this subject matter in their comments.) Despite In Utero’s abrasive sound and reduced mainstream promotion, the album still debuted at number one on the Billboard album charts and was well-received by critics. The music often hits harder and faster than Nevermind, containing more of the "punk" feel that Cobain was aiming for compared to the grunge of their early work and their Seattle contemporaries. Check out this MTV clip if you’d like to see how college students in 1993 received the album at the time. The band toured America shortly after In Utero came out. Their European tour that was cut short as Cobain suffered from a drug overdose. A couple weeks later, Cobain died by suicide. As with the subject matter of "Rape Me," I want to request that everyone is respectful of this in their comments, I will ask for edits (or omit comments myself) if they are inappropriate. Despite the tragic ending, Nirvana is still seen as one of American and alternative rock’s most important bands and In Utero remains highly regarded to this day.
Will our comments be all apologies? Are the results of this rate gonna be, uhhh, dumb?
Tracklist:

1. Serve the Servants
2. Scentless Apprentice
3. Heart-Shaped Box
4. Rape Me
5. Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle
6. Dumb
7. Very Ape
8. Milk It
9. Pennyroyal Tea
10. Radio Friendly Unit Shifter
11. Tourette’s
12. All Apologies

R.E.M. - Automatic for the People

If there’s a band who can rival Nirvana’s stature in the American alternative rock canon, it’s gotta be R.E.M. They are often cited as one of the first "alternative" rock bands and were important for the college radio format. Formed in Athens, Georgia in 1980, Michael Stipe (vocals), Peter Buck (guitar), Mike Mills (bass), and Bill Berry (drums) released 5 albums with independent label I.R.S. Records. This run of releases showed them evolving from a jangle rock sound to a louder, more anthemic sound on their final record for the label, Document. After "The One I Love" became their first mainstream hit, the band signed to Warner Brothers, kicking off a second act that resulted in yet another 5 album run of great music.
At the start of the 90s, R.E.M. opted out of touring and became a studio band. The band recorded demos for the songs "Drive," "Try Not to Breathe," and "Nightswimming" at Prince’s Paisley Park Studios while mixing their 1991 album, Out of Time. Out of Time was a huge success, arriving as alternative rock was becoming mainstream. It spawned the massive single "Losing My Religion" and even ended up winning the GRAMMY award for Best Alternative Music Album in 1992. After concluding promotional duties in early 1991, the band returned to the studio to continue work on what would become Automatic for the People. It is the fourth of six records the band would produce with Scott Litt. The band traded off instruments in the studio, with Buck playing the mandolin famously featured on "Losing My Religion," Mills playing piano or organ, and Berry playing bass. Initial attempts to make a harder rocking follow-up did not pan out, as the band found they were writing better without drums. The material began to take on a more melancholic tone. The lush orchestration of Out of Time is rendered in a somber greyscale, with arrangements contributed by Led Zeppelin’s John Paul Jones. Lyrically, the album muses on loss and mourning, prompting rumors that balding Michael Stipe was dying of cancer or AIDs. Luckily, he was not but that is the lens through which some critics and listeners received this work. The album also finds room for political commentary, most noticeably in "Ignoreland" which pushes against Republican politics of the time, but also in opener "Drive" which calls back to the group’s work with the Rock to Vote movement, for which they added a petition on the longbox packaging of Out of Time.
Automatic for the People released on October 5, 1992 (gotta love the GRAMMYs odd eligibility window) debuting at number 2 on the Billboard 200. Unlike its predecessor, it never reached the top spot, thanks to Garth Brooks. Six of the album’s 12 tracks were released as singles including "Drive," "Everybody Hurts" which has unfortunately been diluted through years of ironic use in comedies, the cryptic, Andy Kaufman referencing "Man on the Moon," and "Nightswimming," an emotional piano ballad that has become a fan favorite. The album was critically acclaimed upon release and, while perhaps not as fun as their jangle material, this nocturnal bummer is regarded by many as one of the band’s masterpieces.
Will everybody hurt? Are R.E.M. going to get a raw deal?
Tracklist:

1. Drive
2. Try Not to Breathe
3. The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite
4. Everybody Hurts
5. New Orleans Instrumental No. 1
6. Sweetness Follows
7. Monty Got a Raw Deal
8. Ignoreland
9. Star Me Kitten
10. Man on the Moon
11. Nightswimming
12. Find the River

The Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream

The Smashing Pumpkins formed in 1988 when Billy Corgan (vocals and guitar, he prefers William Patrick Corgan now though) met James Iha (guitar) while working at a record store in Chicago, Illinois. They performed as a duo with a drum machine, eventually adding bassist D’arcy Wretzky after meeting her at a show by the Dan Reed Network. Jazz drummer Jimmy Chamberlain was recommended by a friend of Corgan’s after the trio were booked for a show under the condition that they’d play with a live drummer instead of their drum machine. With Chamberlain on board, the band’s classic lineup had been formed and their sound began to shift in a harder rock direction.
Siamese Dream, the group’s 1993 sophomore album, expands on their 1991 debut Gish in every possible way. The band switched from Virgin subsidiary Caroline Records to Virgin itself. Butch Vig, who produced Nirvana’s massive Nevermind right after finishing work on Gish, returned to produce the follow-up. Where Gish’s $20,000 budget and month of recording time was "unprecedented" for Vig, Corgan and Vig spent four months on Siamese Dream and went $250,000 over budget. This is what happens when you let Billy overdub everyone else’s guitar and bass parts (something the rest of the band wasn’t particularly happy about) to get as many as 100 guitar parts compressed into one song.
The meticulous studio process paid off, as Siamese Dream was a bigger hit than Gish, peaking at 10 on the Billboard 200. The band’s influences from metal, dreampop, and shoegaze give the album a layered and unique sound compared to the grungier alternative music of the time. Singles "Cherub Rock" and "Today" have been featured in the Guitar Hero and Rock Band videogame series. While never released as a single, "Mayonaise" has become a fan favorite and won a Rolling Stone poll for best Pumpkins song, beating out singles from Siamese Dream. Judging from some early discussion since this rate was announced, some of you seem pretty excited to rate "Mayonaise." While the double album follow-up Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness took the band to the height of their popularity, Siamese Dream is often regarded as their masterpiece and one of the best rock albums of the 90s.
Will we be sweet sweet to the Pumpkins? The rater in me is the rater in you, I’ll send this ballot over to you
Tracklist:

1. Cherub Rock
2. Quiet
3. Today
4. Hummer
5. Rocket
6. Disarm
7. Soma
8. Geek U.S.A.
9. Mayonaise
10. Spaceboy
11. Silverfuck
12. Sweet Sweet
13. Luna

U2 - Zooropa

Whoa hey is it U2sday??
Formed in Dublin, Ireland in 1976, U2 (Bono on vocals, The Edge on guitar, Adam Clayton on bass, and Larry Mullen Jr. on drums) have become the top-selling Irish musical act of all-time, with an estimated 170+ million records sold. Across the 80s, U2 evolved their early post-punk sound to the anthemic rock of The Joshua Tree. While touring America for that album, the band recorded Rattle and Hum, a hybrid live/studio record (and accompanying concert film) which documented the tour and the group’s fascination with American roots music. Despite the album’s commercial success, most consider it a misguided failure. Even Bono admitted at their final show for the album’s Lovetown Tour that "we have to go away and dream it all up again."
1993’s Zooropa catches U2 at their most adventurous. 1991’s Achtung Baby and its subsequent Zoo TV tour rebranded the band for the new decade. While they continued working with Unforgettable Fire and The Joshua Tree producers Brian Eno and Daniel Lanois, they updated their sound with influences from electronic, dance, and industrial music. On stage, they dabbled in irony to counter the sincerity of their 80s output with Bono playing characters such as The Fly and Macphisto. Emboldened by the critical and commercial success of this album and tour, they began working on a promotional EP during a break between Zoo TV tour legs. Despite working quickly in the studio, this EP expanded into a full-length album, requiring the band to travel between concerts and the studio in Dublin to finish working on the album during the first month of the Zooropa leg.
Zooropa finally arrived in July of 1993 and it shows the band doubling down on their early 90s ideas. The sound of the album, built from loops of soundcheck jamming and leftover sketches from Achtung Baby, ventures even further from traditional rock instrumentation and songwriting, bolstered by production from Brian Eno, Flood (moving from an engineering to production role), and The Edge, who received production credits for the first time. The fragmented nature of the album’s production is reflected in the eclectic tracklist which bounces between the multi-movement art-rock of the title track, dancefloor fillers like "Daddy’s Gonna Pay for Your Crashed Car," and ballads like "For the First Time" and "Stay (Faraway, So Close!)" Unique vocal choices like The Edge’s spoken-word rapping on lead-single "Numb," Bono’s falsetto on "Lemon," and a Johnny Cash feature on closer "The Wanderer" help the album feel more varied than U2’s previous material. The album’s lyrics often examine Zoo TV’s concepts of "sensory overload" and technology more explicitly than Achtung Baby.
While U2 are reluctant to acknowledge Zooropa now (likely influenced by the failure of 1997’s Pop, a rushed, mixed bag of an album that stretched audiences' tolerance for 90s U2 to a Rattle and Hum-like breaking point) the album was successful when it came out. Zooropa debuted at number one in several countries and finished ninth on 1993’s Pazz and Jop poll. It would also go on to win this GRAMMY award for Best Alternative Music album, with Bono shrugging on stage, shouting out Smashing Pumpkins, and promising to "the young people of America" that they will "continue to abuse our position and fuck up the mainstream" in his acceptance speech.
Will U2 stay the champions in our rate or will they be faraway so close to the top?
Tracklist:

1. Zooropa
2. Babyface
3. Numb
4. Lemon
5. Stay (Faraway, So Close!)
6. Daddy’s Gonna Pay for Your Crashed Car
7. Some Days Are Better Than Others
8. The First Time
9. Dirty Day
10. The Wanderer

Bonus Rate

While our rates often have a bonus, there is no bonus for the 1994 GRAMMYs since this rate is 5 albums instead of the usual 4.
Now, it’s time for the boring, but necessary parts:

Where to listen:

Spotify
Apple Music
Tidal Music

Rules - READ ALL OF THESE BEFORE SUBMITTING YOUR SCORES

1. Listen to each song and assign each a score between 1 and 10. decimals are fine, but please refrain from giving decimal scores that have two decimal spots: giving a 7.2 is okay, but giving a 7.25 will give me a headache. This is because I'm using a computer program to parse the votes and print everything out (more on that later).
   
2. Yes, you have to listen to every song. We're all in this together. I will not accept your ballot if you have a score missing, because it will crash the program (more on that later).
   
3. Your scores should NOT be considered confidential. They aren’t. Feel free to shitpost about them in the general discussion threads whenever you feel like it - users over at popheads usually just talk about their averages of the albums and what 11 and 0 they gave (which I will explain on the next bullet point!)
   
4. You may give ONE song a 0 and ONE song an 11. This is ONE song TOTAL. Please reserve these for your least favorite and most favorite tracks; excessive sabotage ruins rate results and generally makes things less fun.
   
5. You can change your scores at any time! Feel free to PM me at any point after submission and I'll be happy to revise them for you.
   
6. I am using a computer program that the great and wonderful letsallpoo designed in order to parse these votes! While this will make things a lot more efficient and reduces errors on my part, this does mean that scores need to be sent in a very specific way. The easiest way to make sure your scores follow the necessary format is to use the pre-prepared link at the top & bottom of this post. PLEASE USE THAT. You can copy and paste it to a notepad file or something and fill in your scores there, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use that format to send in your scores.
   
7. Did a lot of copy and pasting here, so thank you thank you to all the raters of old, ily: roseisonlineagain; DolphLundgrensArms; R_E_S_I_G_N_E_D; stansymash; ClocktowerMaria; aerocom; themilkeyedmender; greencaptain; Crankeedoo; dirdbub; ThatParanoidPenguin; tedcruzcontrol; kappyko; FuckUpSomeCommasYeah; LazyDayLullaby; SRTViper; Whatsanillinois; NFLFreak98; freav; freeofblasphemy; RatesNorman; aPenumbra; idontreallycare4; p-u-n-k_girl; luigijon3; WaneLietoc; dream_fighter2018; darjeelingdarkroast; smuckles; PiperIBarelyKnowHer; welcome2thejam; imrlynotonreddit; kvothetyrion; thedoctordances1940; b_o_g_o; vapourlomo; and tons of people on popheads.
   

Formatting

Songs - This is correct:

Man on the Moon: 10

You may also and are generally encouraged to leave comments with your scores!
This is correct (single space after the score, no colon):

Man on the Moon: 10 I'm glad Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice

Any of the following formats are incorrect:

Man on the Moon 10 I'm glad Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice
Man on the Moon: 10: I'm glad Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice
Man on the Moon: (10) I'm glad Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice
Man on the Moon: I'm glad Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice 10
Man on the Moon - 10 I'm glad Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice
Man on the Moon: 10/10 I'm glad Michael didn't get stuck doing the Elvis voice

Albums - This is correct (add a colon after the album's title on your ballot if you're making a comment on the full album):

Album: Zooropa: Wow this rules, i wish they'd uploaded this album to my phone instead

Due Date: July 9

Reveal: July 14 - 16

Finally, here are the links you'll need to start rating again:

SUBMISSION LINK

A Pastebin link of the ballot can be found here
If you want a reminder of what rates are coming up soon, here is the link to the announcement post for the current cycle, and if you want to learn about all the past rates we have done, here is the rate history spreadsheet.

I once again lost the name of my favorite creature of folklore. It is a white creature that almost looks like it has a long beak. They come down into villages after the new year, and carry giant scissors with them. If your house is dirty, they gather up all the dirt, dust, etc, slice open your guts, and then shove all the schmutz inside.
TL;DR: I've been trying to find the article with these guys in it, but I've failed for the last few weeks. I'd like to know so I can make some merch for a local Krampus Market this year.

Hi reddit! My fiancé and I are at our wits end with trying to help their mom understand trans-ness and combating her transphobia. I’m looking for guidance on how you all might recommend handling the situation.
Some back story:
I (24nb) am trans and have been out since 2017 with a loving & accepting family. My fiancé (27nb) is also trans, they tried to come out as wanting to go by they/them pronouns in 2020 (when they still lived with their family), but were quickly met with aggression and “went back in the closet” so to speak.
My fiancé moved in with me in early 2022 and has flourished in their self-discovery journey since getting away from their toxic parents. After lots of careful planning & fundraising, in March of this year (2023) my fiancé was finally able to get the top surgery they’ve dreamed of since they were 13. They chose to not disclose to their parents they were going to get surgery for the sake of their own mental health, and we figured we’d cross that bridge later when/if the time had to come.
Now.. things did not go according to plan with trying to keep top surgery under their parents radar. Their mother somehow found the gofundme page and called my fiancé the nightly before surgery. She was screaming & crying & throwing an absolute fit about how they’re “making a huge mistake”. My fiancé hung up on her, only to be hit with endless text messages trying to scare them out of surgery (like asking if they had any last words since they’re “going to die on the operating table”). Their father, an EMT, chimed in that “when he’s working he picks up countless suicidal trans folks in the ambulance who regret their transitions”.
Fast forward to now:
There is endless love-bombing and transphobia. My fiancé sees two therapists trying to cope with how to deal with their mother. As much as I think they ought to just go no-contact, my fiancé just wishes their mom loved & understood them, and that’s so valid. The way their mother speaks to them is wildly unhinged, and we don’t know how to make her unlearn whatever harmful propaganda she’s decided to digest. It doesn’t help that she is also incredibly paranoid, falls into a lot of conspiracies, is kind of a doomsday prepper, etc.
I’m going to attach a few screenshots of the text conversation that was had between my fiancé and their mother last night. Not pictured is the video that their mother send which sparked this conversation. The video was one she took of herself sobbing crying saying “this is what you don’t see. I love and miss you so much. I’ll own whatever I need to own but I’ve always done my best with what I have”. The screenshot where their mother sent the Matty Walsh link 🙄 is the last messages she sent in the middle of the night
Any advice, resources we can send her, etc. is greatly appreciated.

Hey -
I have a two tickets to Lane 8’s This Never Happened outdoor event on June 17 and there’s only one of me. Looking for someone who’s interested in joining!
Me: Live in SF, 5’10”, white, single. I went to this event the last time it was in Oakland and it was a lot of fun. Big fan of TNH, ABGT, and all good music
Other interests and hobbies: Cooking, being outside, DIY, house plants, cats, vinyl records, camping, bikes
Ideally you: Live in SF, are a fan of this kind of music, are single and looking to meet new people.
Posting this now to start the conversation. I’m open to meeting up ahead of the event too if we hit it up.
Interested? Send me a message with a some info about yourself and situation, what you’re looking for, etc. no need to send pics at first unless you want to. Let’s see if we vibe!

The week starts off with the market showing a lack of momentum. The S&P 500 is barely edging higher while the yield on the ten-year UST briefly surpassed 3.74% per annum before declining to 3.68%. The DXY peaked above 104.3 before retracing to 104. While I still wouldn’t discount the possibility of an attempt to breach the 4300 point mark this week, I suspect this uptick lacks the momentum to sustain itself. We might see a continuation of the upward trend, but I doubt it will surpass 2-3%.
So, what's my plan of action for the time being?

• Concerning gold, I feel the current levels are favorable for amassing a position.
• In terms of indices, I'm maintaining a short position, as I see more downside potential than upside.
• Regarding TLT/TMF, I expect that despite the potential for slight near-term yield increases, in the span of 5-6 months we'll see yields for ten-year periods in the range of 2.9-3.1%. Consequently, both TLT and TMF should rise significantly.

My slightly bearish outlook is bolstered by an insightful perspective from Morgan Stanley analysts. Their renowned Wall Street pessimist Mike Wilson anticipates a significant plunge in this year's earnings. He predicts a year-over-year drop of 16%, a scenario not yet priced in by the markets.
Wilson's base case envisions a dip to 3900 points for the S&P 500 - the lower end of Wall Street analysts' expectations. Yet his expectation of a more profound market drop lacks a solid rationale. Factors such as the excitement surrounding artificial intelligence and other major tech companies, coupled with the Fed's interventions and the ongoing drama surrounding the US national debt ceiling, continue to buoy the market.
On Friday, the market demonstrated optimism, reacting positively to unemployment data and non-farm payroll figures. With such a robust job market, a US recession seems to be on hold. Additionally, this serves as yet another incentive for the Fed to delay interest rate hikes. Despite the inflation surge, there's no urgency.
So what lies ahead? President Biden has indeed signed a bill suspending the national debt ceiling until January 1, 2025. However, I find myself aligned with Wilson's view that this could cause a significant liquidity crunch, and given the prevailing high rates, this could weigh on the markets in the latter half of the year.
By signing the bill to raise the debt ceiling, the White House has effectively unleashed a 'Kraken' on the market in the form of the US Treasury.
Preliminary estimates indicate that the regulator will issue over $1 trillion in government bonds from June to December. Meanwhile, the monthly $95 billion quantitative tightening (QT) remains in effect.

Howdy all! I've really enjoyed becoming part of this community and theorizing colors with y'all. One of my biggest interests has been to unpack what the difference is between theorizing color combinations in the abstract and theorizing them based on exemplary cards--the difference between deduction and induction, we might say. In that pursuit, I wanted to consider the color that, it seems, is one of the most prickly for color philosophy: green.
Green is, famously, a tough color to grasp, in that it seems to name a disposition to the world rather than a mode of acting in it. It’s all summed up by the notion that, for Green, the key to life is acceptance--accepting who we are, our place in the world, and the existence of things beyond ourselves. For this reason, we hear time and time again, Green is the color that opposes action, as it believes the world is already great as it is. It’s all about acceptance.
But I want to offer a little challenge: accept what? What is the “way things are” that Green is so interested in? The question is apparently quite simple, but I think that its openness actually lies at the heart of Green, its combinations, and the frequent confusion that comes in understanding it. In the world of philosophy, to say that one accepts the way things are is to be incredibly generalizing: do you believe that you, as an individual, have some inalienable traits that need to be accepted (say that you exist as a fallible and mortal creature, as an existentialist might say)? Do you believe that we need to accept certain foundational truths of the universe (as proponents of many religions suggest, whether it’s accepting that we are beloved creations of the Abrahamic God or accepting that the nature of life is suffering)? Do you believe we need to accept that society is the way it is and it’s useless to change it (perhaps a cartoon utilitarianism or conservatism?)
In this post, I want to endeavor to unpack what, precisely, different variations of Green aim to accept, and why--and I’ll be doing this through major characters and factions that are mono-Green or include it as a major color.
Nota bene: it's been pointed out that not all cards or characters can be said to fully align with their card pips, and that oftentimes mechanics take center stage rather than lore. This is true enough, but with that in mind, I'd like to look at some cards and characters that seem representative--keystones of certain factions, major characters, etc., to strike a nice balance. I’ll pay special attention to the flavor choices grafted onto certain factions--i.e., how the writing team characterized the flavor of different characters. For instance, it was probably a high-level mechanical choice that the Cabaretti would be partiers, but the writing team chose to describe them in certain ways, and they speak to a certain version of the faction.

1. Garruk (Mono G) - Garruk was the first green planeswalker, so it’s fitting that he’s the first on our list. For Garruk, “acceptance” means a primitivism that eschews civilization and communes with animals--even as he also fights them, given that the strong survive..
   
2. Nissa (Mono G)- Next is Nissa, who is the other archetypical green planeswalker. For her, to accept the world as it is means to listen to the very essence of a plane and to take it into oneself--and it also means prioritizing the growth of the natural world over questions of strategy, moral good, or peace. (which emerges in the Zendikar Rising story: one of Nissa’s recurring story beats is that she cares more about Zendikar and her own people than the multiverse at large). If Garruk is a primitivist, Nissa is a bit more like a Romantic poet. Her acceptance is about mystical communion, biological growth, and circles of care rather than universal morality.
   
3. The Gods of Kaldheim, Theros, and Amonkhet (Mono G) - At the risk of adding five more length entries to this list, I’ll list the domains or patronages of each mono Green God--which, I think, should shed light on what dimension of the world they emphasize.
   
   • Esika - The mysterious nature of the cosmos
   • Jorn - The natural world. Kolvori - Kinship.
   • Nylea - The natural seasons and cycles of rebirth
   • Rhonas - Strength, interpreted as will and self-reliance
4. Vorinclex (Mono G) - Of course, we need to consider the newest innovation to the color pie: the Phyrexian Praetors, who are posed as the darkest, most malevolent versions of each color. In Vorinclex’s case, Green means not a romanticist harmony but a ruthless survival-of-the-fittest by which the strong rise to the surface--encapsulated in his March of the Machines saga, The Grand Evolution.
   
5. Ajani (GW) - Next, we’ll move around the color wheel to Ajani, our GW representative. For Ajani, acceptance and growth have little to do with the natural world or the cosmos; acceptance means embracing that at the core of each person is a true self, an inner authenticity that, when nurtured, can offer boundless growth. To engage with others means to care for them as a family and help them find themselves. In short: his acceptance is rooted in personal authenticity, kinship, and care.
   
6. Trostani (GW) - Trostani, part of the collective structure that governs the Selesnya Conclave, represents the form of acceptance that is the guild’s brand. Trostani’s acceptance is mystical, but also organizational (they are incredibly attached to the veneer of copacetic peace), and subordinates the individual to the collective.
   
7. Vannifar (GU) - Emblemizing the philosophy of the Simic, Prime Speaker Vannifar’s connection to “the world as it is” is actually quite funky: she, like the other Simic, believe in the power of perfecting the natural form through altering themselves, changing themselves. The reality she’s attuned to, is, perhaps paradoxically, the mutability at the heart of reality.
   
8. Quandrix (GU) - I love the Strixhaven schools, because they invite a view of enemy colors that is unresolved, up in the air. Quandrix students prioritize magic that taps into the substrates of reality itself--there’s no fear of investigation or action per se--but the Green side proposes that Quandrix magic’s ultimate object is to venerate the intricacies and beauties of the natural world. The acceptance here is as much scientific as mystical, as much realist as mystical.
   
9. Kruphix (GU) - It feels fitting to mention Kruphix, Theros’ GU deity, who is the God of Horizons. Kruphix represents [all that is mysterious, that exists but is not yet known[((https://scryfall.com/card/c18/155/kruphixs-insight?utm_source=mw_MTGWiki); his acceptance is of the mysteries of reality which we nevertheless pursue.
   
10. Jarad (BG) - Jarad figures one form of BG that accords with the original image of the Golgari: an acceptance of decay as an inevitable reality. In Jarad’s case, communing with this reality opens the way to a unique brand of domination and ambition. This, however, needn’t always be the case, as we see in…
    
11. Vraska (BG) - Representing a more just (I hesitate to say heroic, per se) vision of the Golgari Swarm is Vraska. According with the broader philosophy of the Golgari, Vraska sees the reality that life and death are bound together as the great equalizers--but infuses a kind of ethical charge, believing that, because everything dies, the rise of the downtrodden is inevitable--in other words, the world ultimately belongs to the poor, broken, and decayed.
    
12. Witherbloom (GB): Like the other Strixhaven schools, Witherbloom takes the enemy color pairing and makes it an open question rather than a resolved one. In Witherbloom, there’s a common emphasis on biological survival as a basic reality--but the question is whether the basic nature of things is to grow or to merely survive.
    
13. Borborygmos (RG) - As the de facto guildmaster of the Gruul, Borborygmos emblemizes their specific brand of acceptance: accepting the reality of chaos, as a natural disposition towards indulgence.
    
14. Radha (RG) - Radha is really interesting in that her colors are partially based on lore, partially based on mechanics, and partially based on philosophy--she’s the descendents of the Red-aligned Keldons and the Green-aligned Skyshroud Elves. However, per my rules for discernment above, I think that the flavor Radha was given in Dominaria (2018) is still telling. Her vision of Keld is one that blends discernment with tradition, and her acceptance is ultimately rooted in an embrace of Keld, as they are, as a kinship group, rather than as a set of traditions. As we see in the flavor text of Warlord’s Fury: We do what’s best for us, not for the past.”
    
15. The Cabaretti (RGW) - The essence of the Cabaretti is well articulated in a line from Jetmir’s bio: "people gotta live, not just survive." Although he headed the Naya-esque nature cult of Old Capenna, the modern Jetmir has transmuted those values into something different: for him, the boundless life of RGW is not about reverence to the processes of nature, but rather about the bounty and beauty of existence--the fruits of experience, sensation, and feeling. In short, parties. For Jetmir and the Cabaretti, to accept the nature of reality doesn’t have as much to do with nature as it does with our experience itself--the stuff that makes life worth living.
    
16. The Brokers (WGU) - Because the Brokers are centered in Blue, Green plays a less important role for them than it does with the Cabaretti. Still, can discern an interesting perspective on “the way the world is” within them: for the Brokers, the reality that matters is that of networked obligation and their own power.
    
17. The Riveteers (BRG) - The Riveteers, one of my favorite green factions, make green the color of union solidarity. For them, acceptance means accepting the bonds and mutuality between your comrades; externally, their role as laborers leads them to see “the world as it is” as directly linked to them--so, in other words, to see the world as it is means to see things as related to the people who built them.
    
18. The Abzan Houses: Like the other wedges, the [Abzan[(https://scryfall.com/card/frf/126/cached-defenses) are complicated and quite hard to pin down. That said, their form of acceptance relates to stability, but it manifests in an attachment to familial and ancestral-spiritual bonds.
    
19. The Temur Frontier (RUG): Like the Abzan, the Temur’s form of accepting the world means engaging in a kind of rugged kinship with nature, familiar bonds, and the necessities of life.
    
20. The Sultai Brood (BUG): The Sultai are interesting in that, with Black and Blue being in the mix, they don’t much emphasize complacency--on the contrary, they delve into dark secrets. That said, we can also say that they manifest a funny mode of “acceptance,”: for them, to encounter the world as it is means to see the dark horrors of reality--especially those found in nature’s ruthlessness.
    

You might find in reading that we’ve stretched the phrases “the world as it is” and “acceptance” about as far as they can go. This is what I found in writing, too, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence. What I think we find is that, while “acceptance” is a useful phrase for getting a hold of Green, the real vital force of Green is prioritizing some kind of relationship with reality qua reality--that is, an emphasis on how one relates to the reality of the external world, whether the scientifically understood cosmos, the world of spirit, individuality, personal relationships, or the inner self. Some might say that the essence of reality are the brute facts of survival; others say it’s the mystical truth of the universe; others say it’s relationships; others say it’s the grand cycles of life that make us seem small in comparison; some say it’s kinship networks; others say that it’s the fruits of experience.
It strikes me that we can use this as a chance to ponder each color less as set of dogma and more as a road map, a set of questions whose answers are the core of a character’s identity. For Green, this is “What is reality, and what is my relationship to it?” There are a million answers, all of them emerging from a certain kind of question: what is the truth of the world beyond me? (I imagine we can also broaden this notion of key questions. White, for example, might ask, “what’s right and what helps others?”, while Black might ask, “Who am I, and what does it mean to prioritize myself?”)
The key idea, though, is that we can find more to Green--a more dynamic philosophical system, and perhaps a more interesting basis for understanding color philosophy--by asking about the referent of its philosophy, the what that it seems so interested in accepting.

I don't know too much about Binance, so I wonder if it's merely a government attempt to fight cryptocurrency in general or a legitimate move to protect customers.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/05/business/sec-binance-charges.html?campaign_id=60&emc=edit_na_20230605&instance_id=0&nl=breaking-news&ref=headline®i_id=100801280&segment_id=134730&user_id=80ca55e886bae03979f737281c082097
Here's a copy-paste of the article for those of you that don't have access:
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The Securities and Exchange Commission has accused Binance, the world’s largest cryptocurrency exchange, of mishandling customer funds as well as lying to regulators and investors about its operations in a sweeping case filed in federal court on Monday.
The Wall Street regulator said Binance had been mixing billions of dollars in customer funds and secretly sending them to a separate company called Merit Peak Limited, which is controlled by Binance’s founder, Changpeng Zhao.
The charges included misleading investors about the adequacy of its systems to detect and control manipulative trading and about its efforts to restrict U.S. investors from trading on its unregulated platform. Regulators said in the civil lawsuit, filed in Federal District Court in Washington, that Binance and Mr. Zhao “enriched themselves by billions of U.S. dollars while placing investors’ assets at significant risk.”
Regulators have long seen Binance as a major target in their quest to bring to heel an industry built around an explicitly anti-government ethos. In its court filing, the S.E.C. cited a 2018 email from Binance’s chief compliance officer saying “we do not want [Binance.com] to be regulated ever.”
The charges against the biggest crypto exchange were the latest actions by U.S. regulators and prosecutors to rein in the Wild West of crypto trading and force major players in the space to come into compliance with U.S. laws.
Binance was already under increasing pressure. The Justice Department is investigating the exchange for money-laundering violations. Binance lost its outside auditing firm when Mazars announced that it would no longer do business with crypto companies late last year. The company has also seen its control of the crypto market shrink.
To improve its reputation, Binance has hired a slew of new compliance officials, including a former federal prosecutor who now heads its compliance operation.
“We allege that Zhao and the Binance entities not only knew the rules of the road, but they also consciously chose to evade them and put their customers and investors at risk,” said Gurbir S. Grewal, director of the S.E.C.’s enforcement division.
The nation’s top securities regulator filed 13 charges against Binance and Mr. Zhao, better known in the crypto world as “C.Z.” The S.E.C. is taking action a little over a month after the Commodities Futures Trading Commission filed its own civil enforcement action against Binance and Mr. Zhao.
Binance representatives had no immediate comment.
The C.F.T.C. is seeking to bar Mr. Zhao from doing business that falls under its jurisdiction for life. The agency also wants to permanently banish Binance from the United States.
The S.E.C. and C.F.T.C. often coordinate the filing of enforcement actions when they are investigating the same company, but the agencies have been engaged in a turf battle to determine which would emerge as the primary regulator of crypto trading.
The S.E.C.’s complaint accuses of Binance of recruiting U.S. customers even when the exchange was not supposed to operate in the United States. “On the surface, we cannot be seen to have U.S. users but in reality, we should get them through other creative means,” a Binance executive wrote in an internal message excerpted in the complaint.
When Binance took steps to submit to a U.S. regulatory regimen, it did so disingenuously, the filing said. It created an American company that it said was completely separate from its offshore parent but in which, regulators said, “behind the scenes” Mr. Zhao and other senior Binance leaders were “intimately involved.” That led one executive to remark that “the entire team feels like they’ve been duped into being a puppet,” according to the complaint.
The S.E.C. said that Mr. Zhao gave instructions to encourage so-called V.I.P. customers to bypass systems meant to restrict U.S. customers’ access to the platform. “Binance’s plan to retain lucrative U.S. investors while pretending to restrict them was a success,” the complaint said.
The moves against Binance and Mr. Zhao come months after the filing of criminal charges against Sam Bankman-Fried, the founder of FTX, which had been a big crypto trading rival until FTX imploded and filed for bankruptcy last November.
Some of the allegations in the complaint echoed the behavior that brought down FTX, leading to criminal charges against Mr. Bankman-Fried for using customers’ deposits to conduct other business operations and make political and charitable donations. According to the complaint against Binance, the bank account of Merit Peak, the trading firm controlled by Mr. Zhao, has received more than $20 billion which included customer funds.
FTX had used a trading firm called Alameda Research, controlled by Mr. Bankman-Fried, to improperly divert and use customer money.
“Sending Binance customer funds to Merit Peak placed those funds at risk, including of loss or theft, and was done without notice to customers,” the complaint said.
Matthew Goldstein covers Wall Street and white-collar crime and housing issues. **@**mattgoldstein26
Emily Flitter covers finance. She is the author of “The White Wall: How Big Finance Bankrupts Black America.” **@**FlitterOnFraud
David Yaffe-Bellany covers cryptocurrencies and financial technology. He graduated from Yale University and previously reported in Texas, Ohio, Connecticut and Washington, D.C. **@**yaffebellany

DISCLAIMER: I am a licensed Florida attorney. However I am not your attorney. Anything said here is not to be construed as legal advice or establishing an attorney client relationship.
Yes it’s me. The bad guy. Back again. But with the 2023 hurricane season officially starting and another year of practice under my belt, I have some helpful tips if your home is damaged by a storm. So below are some tips that’ll help you if you need to file a claim. Plenty of the same info from last year but with some updates. TL;DR at bottom.
First and foremost: READ your policy. The whole thing. Especially your hurricane endorsement. You need to know what actually counts as a covered loss, your duties after loss, and applicable policy limits.
PRIOR TO THE STORM
Pictures: Take pictures of your property. Exterior walls, fascia, soffit. Get on your roof or have a friend do it and take pictures! If there’s already damage document it. It’s a lot harder for the company to deny your claim if you can prove that before the hurricane your roof didn’t have XYZ issue.
Prior work/incidents: Was your roof recently repaired/replaced? Finally fixed that old roof leak? Get the receipts, invoices, permits, etc.
Condition of property: know your property? If your roof has leaked before when? Did you fix it? When, who, how much did you pay? Have you ever had someone inspect your roof? When was it replaced? I can’t tell you how many depositions I take where people literally can not tell me ANYTHING about their own property.
Maintenance: I know with the cost of supplies right now roofs are more expensive than ever. But you have to maintain your roof. Insurance does not exist for you to let your property go to crap and then report it when it finally breaks. Don’t be like one plaintiff whose fascia completed rotted and had a foot tall tree growing from their roof.
POST-STORM:
Go walk your property. Take pictures of debris, fences blown over, and any damage that occurred. Get back on the roof and take pictures. If water is leaking into your home take a video of the active leak and your efforts to clean up the water.
Report immediately: do NOT delay. I have cases where people waited over two years to report hurricane damage. This is a no no. They might not be able to inspect for a bit but get the report in.
Mitigate: do not let things get worse if you have damage. If you need to get an emergency roofer to tarp your roof, do it. If water is leaking into your bedroom put a bucket under it. You can not let things get worse in the hope of getting more money. Some insurance companies offer their own emergency response contractor which if you use they will pay over the normal policy limit for emergency services. This being said, if you have someone perform emergency work TAKE PICTURES and KEEP the damaged materials like wet drywall, broken shingles, etc.
AOB/roofers: assignment of benefits. This one is tough. And frankly it’s up to you. A lot of times after big storms roofers will go through neighborhoods house by house and offer to get on the roof and look for damages. Shockingly they almost always find damages. If you sign an AOB you do NOT get the money, the company does, if the claim is paid. Personally I would retain a contractor that doesn’t use AOBs. Their prices are often more realistic. 2023 edit: with new legislation AOBs are no longer allowed on any homeowners insurance policy that is effective starting on January 1, 2023 or after.
Cooperate: this is another area where we get people. Per your policy, which is a signed contract, you have to cooperate. Always respond to questions and correspondence as soon as possible. Another reason to read your policy to see specifically what you need to cooperate on.
Public adjusters: again this is up to you. I frankly don’t see the point. They write a $50k estimate and we settle the case for 25-30k which still allows the insured to replace their roof and fix interior damage. They also get 10-20% of your claim payout or settlement if you sue.
Depreciation recovery: I won’t go into much on this but again READ THE POLICY. It varies by company but the general idea is this. You have a legit claim, your 20 year old roof is half gone. Insurance company pays out $15k because that is the Actual Cash Value, not the Replacement Cost Value, of your roof at 20 years of age. They pay you $15k, you hire a roofer to fix the roof and per their estimate it costs $25k to actually replace. Send that into your company and they’ll pay the difference. That’s how you recover depreciation. The procedures for this vary so, once again, read your policy.
TL;DR: I get it. This process sucks no matter who you are. Legit claim or not. Read your policy, know it, and ask your company questions if you don’t get parts of it. Cooperate. And take lots of before and after pictures.
And yes. I have that disclaimer saved in my phone cause I use it a lot.