Hi lovely people,
We just came back from our first trip to Japan and it was truly a memorable trip. We spent over 3 weeks in Japan from 07th May until 30th May. WE LOVE JAPAN! Can't wait to come back.
A little bit about us: We are both ~30y olds and enjoy a mix of urban, outdoor and culture during our holidays. We are foodies, but not hard-core as in we don't specifically organize our trips around restaurants. There are so many restaurants in Japan, it is hard to get a bad meal. We enjoy just wandering around neighbourhoods. Mostly low/mid-budget stuff with a splurge once in a while.
Our travel itinerary can be found here
General comments

• Time period of travel: We arrived 7th of May which is the last sunday of Golden week. We specifically wanted to avoid Golden week, as we heard it can be crazy busy due to domestic travels. And we also didn't want to go too late in May because June is rainy season in Japan. We were pretty lucky with the weather overall as we only had a couple of days of rain, most days were sunny and we even had some days of sweltering heat :O
• Like other people suggest, try to get in shape before you go! We are both in average shape. Almost every day we walked around 20.000 steps or more. The only rest days we had were the days where we were switching between cities, i.e. sitting in trains for longer periods of time. No complaints ;). I brought two pair of shoes: water-proof hiking shoes and one pair of light-weight running shoes. Switching between shoes was nice, I didn't have any blisters during my time in Japan luckily. All the walking compensated all the eating though!
• Check whether region specific JR passes might work for you. We decided against getting the nationwide JR passes as they didn't fit our needs and were expensive and instead opted for a regional JR Setouchi area pass. It was perfect for the Shimanami Kaido. We could travel from Osaka to Onomichi -> Hiroshima/Miyajima -> Kyoto. And it also gave us access to Nozomi shinkansen (fastest) and a great ferry ride between Matsuyama and Hiroshima.

Japanguide has a nice overview of all the passes : https://www.japan-guide.com/e/e2357.html

• Be flexible (That's how we like to travel). I mapped out most of the sights beforehand according to must-see's and mapped out what other interesting sights there would be in those areas. The day before or in the morning, we would decide what we would do roughly, sight-see according to neighborhood and just wing it a little bit. We just love to wander around and see what we come across, mixed with some google maps + "explore" function. Some days you are just tired and just want to hang out in a park, or you have temple-fatigue and want to do something entirely else. Same with food/restaurants, we usually just used google maps to see what kind of great restaurants were near us at that moment. We haven't lined up more than twice our whole time there and still ate wonderfully. We do tend to avoid overly hyped stuff anyways. I do keep in mind that everyone has their own ways.
• Buy e-sim if possible, it is the cheapest and easiest way. My partner bought an e-sim and it was so convenient! My phone unfortunately didn't support it and I had to buy a sim. I opted for getting one at BIC camera, which was the cheapest I could find. 10GB for 30 days for 3200 yen.
• Keep plastic bags for trash. Buying food from conbini, and eating it somewhere? say yes to that plastic bag, because you will need it to stash your garbage until you are back at your hotel where you can throw it away or you find a garbage bin at the train station per chance. I read about this a lot on this subreddit, but still I found it astonishing the lack of trash cans. Fascinating how the streets of Japan are so damn clean.
• Try Pokari sweat. :) I tried it for the first time there and I was hooked immediately. It is awesome! Best electrolyte drink ever and it definitely saved me during those hot sweaty days there. CC lemon is also great!
• Go for a haircut or some other beauty/massage treatment. The hospitality is amazing in Japan. You won't regret getting pampered in Japan. They have all kinds of crazy treatments. I got the best haircut of my life for 4400yen.

Trip report

PS. I am not mentioning everything we did in this post. I will just mention highlights. It is still a long read though ;).
D1 - D2 Osaka
We landed at Kansai airport. Before our trip, we also bought train vouchers for Osaka online (https://www.howto-osaka.com/en/ticket/). Best decision ever, because the journey was rough and we were exhausted by the time we landed. We only had to exchange our vouchers at the station and off we went.
Osaka was nice city to start with as it is a more manageable "smaller" city whilst recovering from our jetlag. Despite being smaller, I do think it is worth a visit. Osaka is so iconic at night. We stayed at a spacious Airbnb near Kuromon Ichiban market.

• Takoyaki :) We had our first try of takoyaki at Takotako King instead of one the places at Dotonbori to avoid the crazy lines. You can sit down, have a beer and yes the takoyaki is amazing. It should be crunchy on the outside and deliciously goeey on the inside, doused with sauces and katsuobushi. Man, I wish I could go back and eat it again. It is true, you can't get great takoyaki outside of Osaka, at least I didn't get that same crunchy gooey combo again in other cities.
• Discount sushi from Takashimaya department store. For the budget-minded, this is a no-brainer. Around 7PM, an hour before closing time, you can get delicious fatty tuna maki at discount prices in the basement of takashimaya. Other foods at the department store food floor such as the fresh mochi are delicious also. Takashimaya is my favorite department store for food I think!
• Osaka castle - Our first castle in Japan. The green roof and the golden ornaments are beautiful and unique!
• Dotonbori - iconic :) fun to walk along. The queues are long there. We avoided eating at Dotonbori.
• Shitenno-ji - beautiful pagoda with buddha statues inside. Do pay the fee to go inside and see the garden. You can also go into the pagoda and walk up.
• Huge fan of Shotengai's, Shinsaibashi-Suji Shopping Street. They are so quintessential Japan.
• Ramen Tendo, the first ramen joint that we tried in Japan, so it has a special place in my heart. They specialize in chicken broth with lots of umami katsuoboshi flavor. Noodles were great too, very bouncy. Delicious! Little did I know that this ramen joint was really one of the best we would have this trip. It set the bar high for sure!
• Visit a local grocery store. Maybe it is just me, but I love to browse at local grocery shops (KOHYO namba Minatomachi) and be fascinated by all the different things they sell. It is also a great place to buy food souvenirs, like miso, green tea etc. Lots of pre-cooked meals/ fried stuff. Just a wider selection than your typical conbini. And again discounts if you go ~1hr before closing time.

Skip Shinsekai: We visited during the day and it felt very empty to me. More like a tourist-trap, the eateries didn't look appealing to me. Maybe during the evening this area is more fun.
D3 Nara
We did Nara as a day-trip from Osaka.

• Yes, to feeding the deer. It is touristy, but it is so much fun to be chased by cookie-crazed deer. One more thing: deer's fart a lot. We were wondering where this weird high pitched sound was coming from, those are actually deer farts.
• Todai-ji is very impressive, definitely a must visit.
• Just wander around in Nara park, it's very lush and beautiful and has many more shrines and interesting sights, such as manyo botanical garden. I wish we had one more day to explore Nara but oh well maybe next time :)
• We ate lunch at Magura Koya, a small restaurant run by a lovely elderly couple. Delicious tuna dishes. I had a tuna sashimi bowl and my partner the fried tuna set meal, so fresh!
• We had the best pork bun at Hourokutei at the end of the Higashimuki shopping street. It's a small hole in the wall, but omg the squishy-est juicy-est porkbuns ever.

D4 Onomichi
After staying in Osaka for 3 days, we headed west for the Shimanami Kaido. We decided to stay in Onomichi (Hotel Beacon Onomichi) for the night before we started our two day bike trip. For this part of our trip, we picked up our 7-day Setouchi area pass at Shin-Osaka JR station. I just want to mention that I really love the hospitality of the staff in Japan. The JR office people were so nice and helpful. We reserved our seats for the shinkansen and off we went to Onomichi. Onomichi is a lovely little seaside town to just stroll around and take in the views. I really recommend spending at least half a day here. Don't skip it!

• Senkoji park observatory - we walked up to the observatory (ropeway available), please walk up as there are lots of nice alleyways, shrines and cats along the way :). The view is amazing, especially at sunset.
• Cat alley: honestly, every alley is cat alley.
• Onomichi Shotengai - very retro, lots of cute shops. We bought a nice poster from a little granny there.

D5 & D6 Shimanami Kaido -> Matsuyama
The next day, we picked up our reserved cross bikes from the general bike rental and off we went. Honestly, biking the shimanami kaido was the highlight of our trip. We took two days to bike the whole way, one day would definitely be too rushed for us. We stopped at Ikuchi island (Shimanaido NEST) for our halfway stay.
The sights along the way were great! It was so much fun to go down-hill, the uphills were do-able. We had great weather also, not too hot and no rain. Everything was clearly indicated, we just followed the blue lines. I felt very safe biking in Japan. PS. My butt did hurt from the saddle, so be warned! Bring some cushioned pants if you want to be safe side.

• First pitstop after the first bridge was Hassakuya. You have to stop here! They have delicious strawberry and citrus daifuku! The citrus had a bitter aftertaste, but they are famous for their citrus so its definitely nice to try.
• Just enjoy the views, stop everywhere to take pictures. There are lots of things to explore along the way.
• Stop at roadside stations such as > tatara shimanami park and yoshiumi iki-iki-kan. Especially before you take on the last bridge just do a little pit stop. It's a nice place to take some pictures of the insanely long bridge and have a citrus/vanilla soft cream.

https://shimanami-cycle.or.jp/ for more info and bike rental
We decided to bike one-way from Onomichi to Imabari and we have no regrets. I liked that we ended the bike trip with the longest bridge (4km!!). Imabari is very industrial, but after the fun long way down from the last bridge and being exhausted from biking you just want to get to the station and stuff yourself with pastries from the bakery at the station and go on to your next destination. Thus, we immediately took the train to Matsuyama. Originally, the plan was to enjoy the famous onsen in Matsuyama, but we didn't have enough time and we were also pretty tired. After checking-in at the hotel, it was already 4, we made our way to Matsuyama castle but unfortunately, we were too late to go in. It was still nice to view it from the outside and walk around the park. We planned to do sightseeing in Hiroshima the next day, so there was no more time to explore Matsuyama further.
D7 Hiroshima -> Miyajima
After Shiminami Kaido, we headed towards Hiroshima/Miyajima. We took an early ferry from Matsuyama. The ferry was included in the setouchi JR pass, so we gladly took advantage of that. It's a nice way to get to Hiroshima, just one last view of the Seto inland sea. One remark: if it is not JR serviced transportation, you do have to obtain separate tickets. Normally, just showing your setouchi JR pass is enough to get onboard the train, but for the ferry you do have to go to the ticket desk and show your JR pass to obtain the ferry tickets.

• Peace memorial museum - a history we must not forget and do not want to repeat
• We tried another Hiroshima speciality for lunch: Hiroshima Tsukemen. This tsukemen is GREAT. One of my favorite dishes. We ate at Tsukemen Karabu Tokaichimachi. The spicy umami dipping sauce is very addicting!

Surprisingly, it was very hard to find affordable good accommodation in Hiroshima. It was the weekend and two weeks before G7, so maybe that was the reason why it was harder to find accommodation. In the end, I found a nice simple hotel on Miyajima island and it was a good decision after all! After a long day in Hiroshima, we made our way to Miyajima to stay two nights. Staying on Miyajima island is lovely especially when all the day-trip tourist leave.
D8 Miyajima
Honestly, Miyajima is truly magical. Another highlight of our trip! We started the day early to get ahead of the crowd and that made it all so much more enjoyable. Seeing shrines and temples without a crowd is truly 1000x better! If you can stay at Miyajima island, do it! You don't have to splurge on expensive ryokan (although it would have been nice). We stayed at Sakuraya, which was very budget-friendly.

• Itsukishima Jinja - Nice but Daishoin and surrounding nature were the highlights for me.
• Daishoin - it is the most beautiful shrine complex I have seen in Japan this trip. I think it's because it was so quaint and it was embedded in the hill, surrounded by lush green nature. There were multiple complexes. There was a pathway studded with Jizo statues, buddist cave, prayer wheels and much more. While we were there, a ceremony with a monk was ongoing and everyone could participate in helping burning the origami peace cranes made by children, to make their wishes come true. We bought a little peace crane made from the ashes to remember this moment.
• Mt. Misen - we hiked up from Dashoin. It was ~2hrs? of steep stair climbing, 500m elevation gain. A challenge for sure but we definitely earned our way going down by ropeway :P. Views are great! go go! There is a bus to the ropeway so you don't have to suffer if you don't want to.
• Momijidani park - If you don't like Momiji trees, you can't be my friend.
• Snack along the Miyajima ometesando street. Crowded, but the cakes are great!

One remark, our hotel didn't include dinner and all the restaurants on the island close quite early. Luckily, with our setouchi JR pass, we could take the ferry for free, so went to the mainland for dinner. Just keep this in mind, when booking your stay.
D9 - D13 Kyoto
We took the early train to Kyoto and checked in at Tokyu stay Sanjo-karasuma. We had 5 days to explore Kyoto and by this time we had lost our FOMO a little bit and also decided to take it a bit more slow. We still ended up walking a lot anyways but at least we were sleeping in.
The day we arrived,15MAY, was supposed to be Aoi matsuri so we headed to Kamo river to see the festival. Unfortunately, the festival was postponed due to the slight rainfall and we had no clue! but we were next to Kyoto botanical garden and we decided to visit that instead!

• Kyoto botanical garden: it is a lovely garden with a huge variety of plants and trees to see. Really well maintained and during our visit there was a great rose garden in bloom. I recommend going there! It has a nice japanese garden section too with momiji trees and moss. A greenhouse with orchids. Lot's to see here. Only 200 yen.
• Arashiyama area - I really loved this area, not just for the bamboo forest. Togetsukyo bridge and Katsura river were the highlights for me. You can walk along the both sides of Katsura riverbank. A nice way to get to the bamboo forest and bypassing the busy beginning at the start of bamboo forest is by walking along the katsura river bank into Kameyama park and following the signs to Okochi sanso garden. You will end up at the backside of bamboo forest, which is the nicest part. We went more north to visit Pottery Tanuki, this area was very nice and quaint to walk around; bamboo, shrines and traditional houses everywhere.
• South kyoto - Fushimi Inari + Uji day trip - We visited fushimi inari around 9am and it was already very busy! If you hike deeper into the Tori gates, it gets more quiet. We decided not to hike to the top, but instead do a little loop and we stumbled upon some lovely fox shrines. After Fushimi Inari, we took the train just a little bit more south to Uji. If you like matcha, visit Uji. It is a scenic little town with lots of matcha specialized cafes. We ate at Torikiku, famous for their matcha soba and udon. I had the best matcha icecream dessert at Nakamura Tokichi Byodo-in. Again, the river views are beautiful! It's a great daytrip from kyoto. On the way back to kyoto, we spontaneously decided to visit the Gekkeikan Sake museum. It's a small museum, mostly about the history of Gekkeikan, but for 500 yen entry fee, you also get 3 small sake tastings. Fun for an hour or so. I wouldn't go all the way here just for the museum, but for us it was a nice stop on the way back to Kyoto.
• Gion - visit Gion in the evening and just wander around the little streets. Hanamikoji street is one of the more famous streets there.
• We ate amazing gyoza lunch at Gyoza-dokoro Sakemasa. Best gyozo of our trip.
• Higashiyama area - Heian jingu shrine, visit the attached garden for a fee, definitely worth it! We ate amazing mazesoba and ramen for lunch at Menya Yamahide. We also visited Kyoto handicraft center in this area where we bought an ukiyo-e painting. There was also a vintage antique market at that day. We just browsed a bit around the market and honestly that was a day worth of exploring :).

I didn't mention everything we did in Kyoto here. We also had so much more planned for Kyoto, but didn't get around to it, which was totally fine! We were also a bit temple-fatigued by that time and needed a slower pace. Hopefully next time, we can visit some of things we skipped. Furthermore, some days were incredibly hot (30 C degrees and humid) or we had whole days of rain. On those days, we decided to go shopping instead.

• Sanjo Meiten-gai shopping arcade , Compasso teramachi. One long shopping street between Omiya and Kyoto-kawaramachi station. My favorite shops were: Standard products, Tokyu hands and Loft.

D14 - D15 Takayama
After spending 5 days in Kyoto, it was time to leave the city and head for the Japanese alps. We took the shinkansen to Nagoya, where we changed to a limited express to Takayama. It took around 3 hours to get to Takayama, but we didn't mind. Train travel = resting time for our legs! Also, the views from the train were great!! I really enjoyed this train trip to Takayama. We arrived around noon and immediately checked in at our hotel (Hotel Kuretakeso Takayama). We had two nights in Takayama to explore the town.

• Hida beef - it's the wagyu of this area and I found my favorite place to eat it: Ajikura Tengoku. We went there twice for lunch, because it was that good. It was our first time in Japan to try yakiniku and sukiyaki. I really do appreciate the taste of wagyu but only in small amounts. I couldn't eat it everyday, because it's really so rich and yes paying for the premium cuts really does make a different in taste and texture of the wagyu beef.
• We really loved Takayama. Again, if you have time, stay overnight and wander around the streets during the evening when all the daytrippers leave. The town has such a nice vibe and it still has a very local feel to it.
• Miyagawa morning market. Fun to stroll around
• Hikaru museum - we stumbled upon this via google maps. It's a mayan temple-inspired building, very unique. You could visit the place just for the architecture itself, really impressive. It has a very nice collection of art. When we reached the top floor, there was a whole exhibition dedicated to a specific religious person. We didn't know beforehand but this museum is connected to a cult. Suddenly, it all made sense why this museum was so unique. We didn't mind, but it definitely puts the whole experience in a different light. It's a 1-hour walk from downtown, there is no direct bus connection unfortunately.
• Hida folk village - Open-air museum with nice re-builds of traditional mountain houses. We spend over half a day there. You can see local craftsmen doing their thing and you can also participate in pottery for example. There is a lovely pond and it is just pleasant to walk around. it's only a ~10 min. busride from Takayama bus station. You can buy combined entryfee+bus combo tickets at the bus station.

D16 Kamikochi -> Matsumoto
After checking out of our hotel in Takayama, we took the 7am bus to Kamikochi. We were only going to spend a day here, and then continue our way to Matsumoto to stay overnight.After ~1 hour of bus, we finally made it to Kamikochi. The Japanese alps are amazing. I wished we stayed longer in this area, but just the bus ride alone to Kamikochi was already a great with the views. We decided to hop off at Taisho pond bus stop and walk along all the major sights in the park. We had no specific plan. Just hike around as far as time allowed. For lunch, we stopped at this cute teishoku restaurant, where we ate katsu curry, a big lunch to fuel our walking. We also saw wild japanese macaques and lots of wildflowers where blooming during our time there.At the local shops, we bought some yummy pastries to snack on. I had the tastiest baumkuchen with cheesecake center and my partner had a chocolate ganache cookie. I really regret not buying more kamikochi pastries to take home while we were there.After spending the day walking around, we hopped on the 4pm bus towards Matsumoto. Checked in at Tabino hotel lit Matsumoto, where I relaxed in the onsen.
Tips:

• We were only carrying backpacks, so we hiked with them until we reached the kamikochi bus terminal, where you can drop off you bag at the storage for a small fee.
• Reservation is mandatory for the bus Kamikochi -> Matsumoto, you can do it online or while you are at the busstation before hiking.
• Transportation in the Japan alps is mostly by bus, do reserve ahead if you go at peak times. Main bus company is Nouhi bus: https://www.nouhibus.co.jp/english/.)

D17 Matsumoto Tokyo
After sleeping in, we did some sightseeing in Matsumoto before we moved on to Tokyo. We really liked wandering around in Matsumoto. Lots of cool shops with local crafts. We didn't know but the biggest national crafts fair is held in Matsumoto. Unfortunately, we were only able to stay for one day, but next time we would love to visit this crafts fair!
Matsumoto Castle - I really like the interior of the castle. It has been renovated, but still contains that castle feel. It is 5 story castle and you are allowed to climb all of it. It also included a pretty extensive gun/weaponry exhibition. Do arrive early because you do have to line-up within the castle to get from one floor to the other. This is due to the steep stairways, on which they allow only one-way traffic at a time.
Matsumoto city art museum - There was a nice exhibition from Yayoi Kusama. We didn't know but Yayoi Kusama was born in Matsumoto. It is a good replacement exhibition if you aren't able to snatch up tickets for Yayoi Kusama museum in Tokyo.
Nakamachi street and Frog street - street with persevered houses with craft shops, cafes, brewerys. What more do you want.
After spending the day in Matsumoto, we took the train to Tokyo, our last destination of our stay. We decided to stay in Ueno (Hotel resol ueno). This hotel was located close to Ueno JR.
D18 - D24 Tokyo
Last 7 days in Tokyo. By this time, we were just enjoying everything at a much slower pace. Tokyo is huge! Staying near the JR line is indeed a must like everyone said. I could go on hours about Tokyo, I am just going to mention some highlights here.

• Anmitsu at Anmitsu Mihashi. My favorite dessert! It contains agar jelly, mochi balls, red bean paste, fruit and a scoop of matcha icecream.
• shopping in Ginza - It's nice to go during the weekends when they close of the streets for cars. We liked visiting flagship stores of Muji, Uniqlo. Go to Itoya if you are a stationary freak.
• Ueno park - Museums, shrines, Lotus pond. Have a look at their website, there are almost always events in the park. :)
• Tsukiji market - very busy, but fun to have a look. Lines everywhere. Look for sushi restaurants that open around 11am, line up at one of those places. I don't think it has to be the one with 4.5 rating and 1000 reviews. Why? There are so many good restaurants in Tsukiji area. We went to Tsukiji Kagura Sushi.
• Hamarikyu gardens - Bonsai pine trees pruned to perfection. Ponds filled with sea water, thus there were seabass, little sardines and jellyfish in the water. Very special! You also had a nice skyline view from the park which is a cool contrast! It was nice and quiet.
• Tokyo Skytree - best view :) it also has a great shopping complex attached to it.
• Asakusa area - Senso-ji
• Yanaka Ginza - we went during the weekend and there was live music, little stalls and just very lively in general. Really nice to spend a morning. Largest preserved cemetery, which apparently welcomes visitors a lot for flower viewings. It is a preserved neighborhood with traditional houses and lots of shops selling crafts, gifts, souvenirs, and unique snacks.

That's it!
For 24 days, we spend around ~2500 euro p.p. (excl. 1000,- flights). This amount includes food, transportation, entrancefees and shopping/gifts. so average is ~100 euro/day. We didn't track every cost. Hotel costs were 900,- pp, which ranged from 50,- to 120,- per night accommodations. The conversion yen/euro is also great at the moment, so it might have contributed!
I hope you enjoyed my trip report. Let me know if there are any questions.

I have been driving my father's alto since 2021. I have done quite a few trips with my family, the longest being a 400 Kms drive in a single day. I live a little North of Kolkata and my family is planning to take a short trip to Sittong in this heat. I have never driven in hills. I mean, people at one point in their life do go to few places for the first time. So, is it doable for me ? Cannot really rate myself advanced in driving but I have driven in single lane roads even at 100 kmph. So would rate myself intermediate.

https://www.reddit.com/dfwmusic/comments/13why0k/nominate_vote_for_your_favorite_dfw_bandsartists/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I didn't know how to add a picture to my original posting so I figured I'd share it & add them here.
Please support the local artists & take a few minutes to vote for the nominees. Let's blow this up so we can encourage more artistry & show the venues that DFW IS a great place for Original music as well as Tribute Bands.
These events are free to attend. So put it on the schedule, don your rockstar chic & enjoy a night of live music.

UPDATE: WB killed the Dr. SEUSS code some time in the past 3 weeks sorry
MA = Movies Anywhere
GP = Googleplay
[?] = unknown definition
title = pending trade
If a title is no longer listed = It has been traded
COMBO Films

• 2film: My Girl 1 & 2 SD =MA
• 3film: Mall Cop / Zookeeper / Boom SD =MA
• 3film: Night at the Museum: Trilogy SD =MA
• 3film: The Other Guys, Step Brothers, Talladega Nights SD =MA
• 4film: The Magnificent Seven Collection HD Vudu
• 6film: Joe Dirt, Benchwarmers, House Bunny, The Animal, Deuce Bigalow, Master Of Disguise SD =MA

MOVIES

• SONY BUFF PASSES (Current) - 2
• Universal Rewards (Current) - 3
• 10 Clover Field Lane HD Vudu only
• 12 Rounds 2 Reload HD =MA
• 101 Dalmations HD =MA
• 101 Dalmations (Googleplay) HD =MA
• 127 Hours (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• 1917 HD =MA
• 2 Guns (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• 2 Guns HD =MA
• 21st Jump Street HD =MA
• 21st Jump Street SD =MA
• 22nd Jump Street SD =MA
• 3 From Hell 4K (Vudu Or iTunes)
• 40 Year Old Virgin HD =MA
• 47 Ronin HD =MA (MA Redeem, Vudu Kills Code)
• 47 Ronin =MA 4K (iTunes Portion)
• the 5th Wave SD =MA
• A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood HD =MA
• A Dogs Way Home HD =MA
• A Good Day To Die Hard HD = MA
• A Good Day To Die Hard (iTunes redeem) SD = MA
• A Haunted House (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• A Madea Christmas HD Vudu
• A Madea Family Funeral HD (Vudu / iTunes OR GP)
• A Million Ways To Die In The West [unrated] (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• A Monster's Call HD =MA
• A Monster's Call (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the A-Team (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• A Thousand Words SD Vudu
• A Quiet Place HD Vudu Or iTunes 4K
• A Walk Among Tombstones (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• About Last Night HD =MA
• Admission (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• the Adventures Of Tintin SD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• After Earth SD =MA
• the Age Of Adaline HD Vudu
• Alex Cross HD Vudu
• Alpha and Omega 3: Great Wolf Games HD Vudu
• Alice Through The Looking Glass HD =MA
• Alien Covenant HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• All the Devil's Men HD Vudu or iTunes
• Alpha SD =MA
• Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chip Wrecked (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Road Chip HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman HD =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman SD =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman 2 HD =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman 2 SD =MA
• Amelia (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• American Assassin HD Vudu/GP/iTunes
• American Made HD =MA
• American Girl: Mckenna Shoots For The Stars HD =MA
• American Hustle HD =MA
• American Hustle SD =MA
• American Reunion UR HD =MA
• Anchorman 2 HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• And So It Goes HD =MA
• the Angry Birds Movie HD =MA
• Annie (2014) HD =MA
• Annie (2014) SD =MA
• Annihilation HD (Vudu Or iTunes) Split
• the Art of Self Defense HD =MA
• Arrival HD Vudu or iTunes 4K
• Arthur (iTunes redeem) SD =MA
• Arthur Christmas SD =MA
• Assassin's Creed HD (4K If iTunes Redeem)=MA
• Atomic Blonde HD =MA
• Atomic Blonde (iTunes Portion) 4K =MA
• August Osage County HD Vudu
• Avengers: End Game HD (googleplay) =MA
• Avengers: Infinity War (googleplay) HD =MA
• Babylon A.D. (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Bad Boys For Life HD =MA
• Bad Boys For Life SD =MA
• Bad Grandpa HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Bad Moms (iTunes) HD =MA
• Bad Moms HD =MA
• Bad Words (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Bank Job HD Vudu
• Barbie & Her Sisters In A Puppy Chase HD =MA
• Battle Of The Year HD =MA
• Battleship 4K =MA (iTunes Portion)
• Battleship HD =MA
• Baywatch (Vudu-HD Or iTunes-4K)
• Beethoven Treasure Tail (iTunes Portion) HD =MA
• Beethoven Treasure Tail HD =MA
• Begin Again HD Vudu
• Beirut HD =MA
• the Best Man Holiday HD =MA
• the Best Man Holiday (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Big Miracle (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Big Short HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• the Big Wedding HD Vudu Or iTunes
• the Big Wedding SD Vudu
• the Big Year (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Black Nativity [Extended] HD =MA
• Black Swan (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Blackhat HD =MA (iTunes Portion)
• Blockers HD =MA
• Bloodshot SD =MA
• Blue Jasmine HD =MA
• Boo! A Madea Halloween HD V/I/GP
• the Book Of Life HD =MA
• Boss Baby HD =MA
• the Bourne: Identity HD =MA
• the Bourne: Identity (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• the Bourne: Legacy HD =MA
• the Bourne: Legacy (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• the Bourne: Supremacy HD =MA
• the Bourne: Supremacy (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• the Boy [unrated] HD =MA
• the Boy [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes portion)
• the Boy Next Door HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Boyhood HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Braven HD Vudu or GP
• Brian Banks HD =MA
• Bride Wars (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Brides Maids (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Bridge Of Spies HD =MA
• Bring It On: Cheersmack HD =MA
• Bring It On: Cheersmack (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Broken City HD Vudu
• the Butler HD Vudu
• the Bye Bye Man HD =MA (iTunes Portion)
• the Cabin In The Woods SD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• the Cabin In The Woods HD Vudu Or GP
• the Call SD =MA
• the Call HD =MA
• the Call Of The Wild (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Call Of The Wild HD =MA
• Captain Phillips HD =MA
• Captain Phillips SD =MA
• Captain Under Pants: The First Epic Movie HD =MA
• Carrie [2013] (Vudu or GP) HD
• the Case For Christ (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Case For Christ HD =MA
• Casino Royale HD V/GP
• Cedar Rapids (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Change Up (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Change Up Unrated (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Chappie SD =MA
• Chasing Mavericks [2012] HD =MA
• the Choice HD (iTunes, Vudu Or GP)
• the Choice HD (Vudu Only)
• Chronicle HD =MA
• Chronicle (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Chronicles Of Riddick [unrated] (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 SD =MA
• Coal Miner's Daughter HD = MA
• Coal Miner's Daughter HD = MA (iTunes portion)
• the Commuter HD V/i/GP
• Concussion (will Smitch) HD =MA
• Concussion (will Smitch) SD =MA
• the Condemned 2 HD Vudu
• Contraband (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Counselor HD =MA
• Countdown [wwe films] HD Vudu
• Cowboys And Aliens (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Croods (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Cruella HD =MA
• Cruella (Googleplay) HD =MA
• Cult Of Chucky [unrated] HD =MA
• Cult Of Chucky [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes Redeem)
• Curse Chucky (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Curse Of Chucky HD =MA
• Daddy's Home HD Vudu / 4K iTunes (split)
• Dallas Buyers Club HD (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Danny Collins HD (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• the Day The Earth Stood Still (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Dead In Tombstone [unrated] HD =MA
• Dead Man Down SD =MA
• Deadpool HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Deadpool 2 [super dooper cut] HD =MA
• the Descendants (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Deliver Us From Evil SD =MA
• Despicable Me (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Despicable Me 2 (4K iTunes) =MA
• Despicable Me 2 HD =MA
• the Devil Inside SD Vudu
• Devils Due HD =MA
• Diary Of A Wimpy Kid (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Dictator SD Vudu
• Die Hard: A Good Day To Die (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Dilemma HD =MA
• Dirty Dancing SD Vudu
• Dirty Grandpa SD Vudu
• Disney Nature: Monkey Kingdom HD =MA
• Disney Shorts Collection (googleplay) HD =MA
• Disney Shorts Collection HD =MA
• Divergent HD Vudu
• Divergent [4k Itunes] or [GP-HD]
• Divergent Series: Allegiant HD Vudu
• Divergent Series: Allegiant SD Vudu
• Divergent Series: Insurgent HD Vudu/GP (iTunes Split)
• Divergent Series: Insurgent SD Vudu
• Django Unchained HD Vudu
• Dom Hemingway HD =MA
• Downsizing HD Vudu & iTunes 4K
• Downton Abbey The Movie HD =MA
• Dracula Untold (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• Dracula Untold HD =MA
• Draft Day HD Vudu/iTunes Split
• Draft Day SD Vudu
• Dragon Heart 3 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Dragon Heart 3 HD =MA
• Dredd HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Dredd 4K (Vudu Or iTunes) Or GP-HD
• Drive (2011) HD MA
• the Duel SD Vudu
• the Duff HD Vudu
• Dumb And Dumber To (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Dying Of The Light HD Vudu
• E.T. (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA (from bluray)
• E.T. HD =MA
• E.T. SD =MA
• Escape Plan HD Vudu
• Edward Scissorhands HD =MA
• Elysium SD =MA
• the Emoji Movie HD =MA
• Empire State HD Vudu
• End Of Watch (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Ender's Game 4K Vudu/iTunes Split
• Ender's Game HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Enough Said HD =MA
• Epic (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Epic HD =MA
• Escape Plan HD Vudu
• the Equalizer HD =MA
• the Equalizer SD =MA
• Ex Machina HD Vudu
• Exodus: Gods And Kings HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• the Expendables 2 HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• the Expendables 3 4K Vudu
• the Expendables 3 [unrated] HD
• the Expendables 3 HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Extraction HD Vudu
• Fast & Furious 1 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 1 HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 2 (4K iTunes) =MA
• Fast & Furious 3 HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 4 HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 4 (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Fast & Furious 5 Extended (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 5 Extended HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 6 Extended (4K iTunes) =MA
• Fast & Furious 6 Extended HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 7 Extended HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 7 Extended (4K iTunes) =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Extended 4K =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Extended HD =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Theatrical 4K =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Theatrical HD =MA
• the Fault In Our Stars HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Fault In Our Stars HD =MA (no Upgrade)
• the Favourite HD =MA
• Fences HD VUDU or iTunes 4K (split)
• Fifty Shades Darker [unrated] (iTunes) HD =MA
• Fifty Shades Darker [unrated] HD =MA
• Fifty Shades Of Grey [unrated] HD =MA
• Fifty Shades Of Grey [standard] 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Fighter HD =MA
• Finding Dory (googleplay) HD =MA
• Finding Dory HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Finding Nemo (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Finest Hour HD =MA
• the Finest Hour (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Five Year Engagement (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Flight HD (Vudu / iTunes Split)
• Footloose (2011) SD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Frank & Lola HD =MA
• Fright Night 2 UR HD =MA
• the Front Runner SD = MA
• Frozen HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Frozen (googleplay) HD =MA
• Frozen (sing Along Edition) HD =MA
• Frozen (sing-along Edition) (googleplay) HD =MA
• Frozen Ground HD Vudu
• Fury HD =MA
• Fury SD =MA
• G.I.Joe Retaliation HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• the Gambler HD (Vudu / iTunes Split)
• Gemini Man HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Get On Up (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Get The Gringo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Ghost In The Shell [2017] HD Vudu Only
• Ghost Rider Spirit Of Vengeance SD =MA
• Ghostbusters HD =MA
• Ghostbusters: Answer The Call & Extended HD =MA
• Gifted HD =MA
• the Girl In The Spidersweb SD =MA
• the Girl On The Train =MA 4K (iTunes Redeem)
• the Girl On The Train =MA HD
• the Giver HD Vudu
• Gladiator Vudu or iTunes 4K
• Glee The Concert (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• God's Not Dead 3: A Light In Darkness HD =MA
• Gods Of Egypt HD Vudu (and iTunes 4K split)
• Gods Of Egypt SD Vudu
• Grace Unplugged HD Vudu
• the Grand Budapest Hotel HD =MA
• the Great Wall (iTunes Portion) 4K =MA
• the Great Wall HD =MA
• the Greatest Showman HD =MA
• the Grey (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Grown Ups 2 HD =MA
• Grown Ups 2 SD =MA
• Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 1 HD =MA (no 4K Upgrade)
• Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2.0 (googleplay) HD =MA
• Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2.0 4K =MA
• the Gunman HD =MA
• the Gunman (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Hacksaw Ridge HD Vudu iTunes Or GP
• Hail, Caesar! HD =MA
• Hail, Caesar! (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Halloween Kills Extended HD =MA
• Hammer Of The Gods SD Vudu
• Hansel & Gretel [unrated] HD Vudu / HD iTunes (split)
• Hands of Stones HD Vudu
• the Hangover (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Hardcore Henry HD =MA (iTunes redeem)
• Harvey (1950) (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Hateful Eight HD Vudu Or GP
• the Haunting In Connecticut 2 Ghosts Of Georgia HD Vudu
• the Heat HD =MA
• the Heat (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA (will Send First)
• Heaven Is For Real HD =MA
• Heaven Is For Real SD =MA
• Hell Or High Water SD Vudu
• Hellboy (2019) 4K Vudu/iTunes/(GP HD)
• Here Comes The Boom SD =MA
• Hidden Figures HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Hillsong: Let Hope Rise HD =MA
• Hocus Pocus (googleplay) HD =MA
• Holiday Inn (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Home Again HD =MA
• Home Alone 4K =MA
• Home Alone HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Home Alone 2: Lost In New York HD =MA
• Homefront (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Homefront HD =MA
• Honey 2 (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Honey 2 HD =MA
• Hop (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Hop HD =MA
• Hope Springs HD =MA
• Horton Hears A Who (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Host (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Hostiles 4K Vudu/iTunes/(GP HD)
• Hotel Transylvania SD =MA
• Hotel Transylvania 3 SD =MA
• Hours SD Vudu
• House With A Clock In Its Walls HD =MA
• How To Train A Dragon 2 HD =MA
• the Hundred Foot Journey (googleplay) HD =MA
• Hugo SD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• the Hunger Games HD Vudu
• the Hunger Games: Catching Fire HD Vudu
• the Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 1 HD Vudu
• the Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 2 HD Vudu
• I See You HD Vudu (no itunes)
• I, Frankenstein HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Ice Age: Dawn Of Dinosaurs (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Ice Age: the Great Egg-Scapade HD =MA
• Identity Thief (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Ides Of March HD =MA
• In Time (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Incarnate (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Independence Day Resurgence HD =MA (no Upgrade)
• Independence Day Resurgence HD (4K if iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Inferno HD =MA
• Inglorious Bastards (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Inside Out HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Inside Out (google Redeem) HD =MA
• Insidious Chapter 2 SD =MA
• Insidious: the last key SD =MA
• Internship (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Interview HD =MA
• the Interview SD =MA
• Into The Spider-verse SD =MA
• Iron Man 3 (googleplay) HD =MA
• Iron Man 3 HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Jack Reacher SD Vudu
• Jack Reacher HD Vudu (4K itunes split)
• Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit HD Vudu Or iTunes
• Jarhead 2 [unrated] HD =MA
• Jarhead 2 [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes portion)
• Jarhead Law Of Return HD =MA
• Jason Bourne HD =MA
• Jason Bourne 4K =MA (iTunes portion)
• Jaws HD =MA
• Joe SD Vudu
• John Wick 4K (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• John Wick SD? Dvd (Vudu/iTunes/GP)
• John Wick : Chapter 2 HD (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• John Wick 3 4K (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• Joy HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Joy HD =MA
• Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle SD =MA
• Jumper (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Jungle Book [2016] (preorder) HD =MA
• Jungle Cruise (googleplay) HD =MA
• Juno (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Jurassic Park (4K iTunes) =MA
• Jurassic Park HD =MA
• Jurassic World (4K iTunes) =MA
• Jurassic World HD =MA
• Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom HD =MA
• Just Wright (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Justin Bieber: Never Say Never HD VUDU / iTunes (split)
• Keeping Up with the Jones (4K if iTunes Redeem) = MA
• Kevin Heart: Let Me Explain HD
• Kickass 2 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Kickass 2 HD =MA
• Kidnap HD =MA
• Kidnap (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Killer Elite (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Killing Them Softly HD Vudu
• Kin HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• the Kingsman: The Golden Circle HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Kingsman: The Secret Service HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Kingsman: The Secret Service SD (Vudu) =MA
• Knight And Day (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Knocked Up HD =MA
• Knocked Up (iTunes redeem) HD =MA
• Kung Fu Panda 3 HD =MA
• the Last Exorcism Past2 SD =MA
• Last Knights HD Vudu
• the Last Stand HD
• Last Vegas SD =MA
• the Last Witch Hunter SD Vudu
• the Legend Of Hercules HD Vudu
• Les Miserables [1998] HD =MA
• Les Miserables [2012] (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Les Miserables [2012] HD =MA
• Let's Be Cops HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Life HD =MA
• Life As We Know It (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Life As We Know It SD =MA
• Knight And Day (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Life Of Pi HD (4K iTunes Through Foxredeem) =MA
• Lightyear (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Little Mermaid HD =MA
• the Little Mermaid (googleplay) HD =MA
• Little Women (2019) HD =MA
• Lockout (unrated) SD =MA
• the LOFT (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Logan HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Logan Lucky HD =MA
• Logan Lucky 4K (iTunes) =MA
• the Lone Ranger (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Lone Ranger HD =MA
• Lone Survivor HD =MA
• Lone Survivor 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Longest Ride HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• the Longest Week HD Vudu
• Looper SD =MA
• the Lorax (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Lorax HD =MA
• the Lord of The Rings: Return Of The King HD =MA
• the Lords Of Salem HD Vudu
• Love Actually (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Love Actually SD =MA
• Love & Mercy HD VUDU
• Love & Other Drugs (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Machete (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted HD =MA
• Madea's Neighbors From Hell The Play SD Vudu
• Madea's Witness Protection HD Vudu Or iTunes
• Madea's Witness Protection SD Vudu
• Maggie HD Vudu Only
• Maleficent (googleplay) HD =MA
• Maleficent HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Maleficent: mistress of evil (googleplay) HD =MA
• Mall Cop 2 SD =MA
• Mamma Mia! (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again HD =MA
• the Man With The Iron Fists (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Marauders HD Vudu
• the Marine 4 HD Vudu
• the Marine 6: close quarters SD =MA
• Marley & Me (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Martian HD (4K If iTunes Redeem)=MA
• Mary Poppins HD =MA
• Mary Poppins (googleplay) HD =MA
• Mary Poppins: Returns (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Maze Runner HD (no Upgrade)
• the Mechanic: Resurrection HD Vudu, GP HD Or iTunes 4K
• the Mechanic: Resurrection SD Vudu
• Megan Leavey (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Megan Leavey HD =MA
• Men In Black 2 HD =MA
• Men In Black 3 HD =MA
• Men In Black 3 SD =MA
• Middle School: The Worse Years Of My Life HD Vudu/GP or iTunes split
• Midway 4K Vudu/iTunes or GP
• Mike & Dave Need A Wedding Date HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Minions (4K iTunes) =MA
• Minions HD =MA
• Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children HD (4K iTunes redeem) =MA
• Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children HD =MA (Vudu Redeem)
• Mission Impossible: Fallout HD (Vudu or iTunes)
• Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocal HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocal Dvd (Vudu)
• Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (HD Vudu Or iTunes 4K)
• Mom's Night Out SD =MA
• Moneyball HD =MA
• Monte Carlo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Monuments Men HD =MA
• the Monuments Men SD =MA
• Moonlight HD Vudu
• Monster's University (googleplay) HD =MA
• Mortal Instruments SD =MA
• Mostly Ghostly: Have You Met My Ghoulfriend? (iTunes Portion) HD =MA
• Mostly Ghostly: Have You Met My Ghoulfriend? HD =MA
• the Mountain Between Us HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Mr. Holmes HD Vudu
• Mr. Peabody & Sherman HD =MA
• Mr. Popper's Penguins (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Mud HD Vudu
• Mulan Original Cartoon (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Muppets Most Wanted (googleplay) HD =MA
• Muppets Most Wanted HD =MA
• My All American HD =MA
• My All American (iTunes redeem) HD =MA
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 HD =MA
• My Life As A Zucchini (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Nebraska HD Vudu
• Nerve SD Vudu
• Night At The Museum Or Night At The Museum: 2 [pick One] HD =MA
• Night At The Museum 2: Battle Of The Smithsonian (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Night At The Museum 3: Secret Of The Tomb HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Night School [extended] HD =MA
• No Country For Old Men HD Vudu Or GP
• No Escape HD Vudu
• Noah HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Non-stop (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Non-stop HD =MA
• Norm Of The North HD (iTunes Or GP)
• Norm Of The North HD Vudu Only
• Now You See Me 4K Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Now You See Me HD Vudu
• Now You See Me HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Now You See Me 2 SD Vudu
• Oblivion HD =MA
• Office Party HD VUDU or iTunes (split)
• Olympus Has Fallen SD =MA
• the Oranges (itunes redeem) SD =MA
• the Other Woman HD =MA
• Ouija: Origin Of Evil (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Overcomer SD =MA
• Oz The Great And Powerful (googleplay) HD =MA
• Oz The Great And Powerful HD =MA
• Pacific Rim: Uprising HD =MA
• Paddington HD Vudu
• Pain & Gain HD Vudu Only
• Paranormal Activity 2 HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 3 SD Vudu (try iTunes at your own risk)
• Paranormal Activity 4 HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity Ghost Dimension HD (Vudu or iTunes)
• Parental Guidance HD =MA
• Parental Guidance (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Parker HD =MA
• Parker SD =MA
• Passengers HD =MA
• Patriots Day HD Vudu (or 4K iTunes)
• Paul [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes Redeem)
• Peanuts Movies HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Penguins Of Madagascar HD =MA
• Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters HD =MA
• Perks Of Being A Wallflower HD Vudu Or iTunes SD (split)
• Peter Pan 2: Return To Never Land (googleplay) HD =MA
• Peter Pan 2: Return To Never Land HD =MA
• Philomena HD Vudu
• Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (googleplay) HD =MA
• Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales HD =MA (iTunes kills code)
• Pirates! Band Of Misfits SD =MA
• Pitch Black [unrated] (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Pitch Perfect HD =MA
• Pitch Perfect [iTunes redeem 4K] =MA
• Pitch Perfect 2 HD =MA
• Pitch Perfect 2 HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Pitch Perfect 3 HD =MA
• Pixels SD =MA
• Planes (googleplay) HD =MA
• Planes HD =MA
• Planes Fire And Rescue (googleplay) HD =MA
• Planes Fire And Rescue HD =MA
• Planes, Trains & Automobiles HD (Vudu or iTunes)
• Playing For Keeps SD =MA
• Pompeii HD =MA
• Pompeii SD =MA
• Possession HD Vudu (SD iTunes)
• Predators (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Premium Rush SD =MA
• the Prince HD Vudu
• Prometheus HD =MA
• Prometheus (iTunes Redeem) [?] =MA
• Promised Land (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Protector 2 SD Vudu
• Public Enemies (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Public Enemies (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Purge (4K iTunes) =MA
• the Purge HD =MA
• the Purge: Anarchy HD =MA
• the Purge: Election Year HD =MA
• Queen Of Katwe (googleplay) HD =MA
• Queen Of Katwe HD =MA
• R.I.P.D. (redeems In iTunes) 4K =MA
• R.I.P.D. HD =MA
• Ralph Breaks The Internet (googleplay) HD =MA
• Rambo HD (Vudu,iTunes4K Or GP)
• Rambo: Last Blood 4K (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• Ramona And Beezus (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Rango HD Vudu Or 4K iTunes (split)
• Real Steel (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Reasonable Doubt HD =MA
• Red 2 HD Vudu
• Red Sparrow HD =MA
• Redemption HD Vudu
• Reprisal HD Vudu
• Resident Evil: Retribution HD =MA
• Resident Evil: Retribution SD =MA
• Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City HD =MA
• the Revenant HD =MA
• Ricki And The Flash SD =MA
• Riddick [unrated] HD =MA
• Riddick [unrated] (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Ride Along (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Ride Along HD =MA
• Ride Along 2 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Rio HD =MA
• Rio (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Rio 2 HD =MA
• Rise Of The Guardians HD =MA
• Rise Of The Planet Of Apes (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Risen SD =MA
• Robin Hood (1973) [Disney-animation] (googleplay) HD =MA
• Robin Hood (2018) Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K
• Robocop 2014 HD Vudu Or GP
• the Rocker (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Rocky Horror Picture Show HD =MA
• Runner Runner HD =MA
• Rush HD =MA
• Safe HD Vudu Only
• Safe House (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Safe House HD =MA
• Same Kind Of Different As Me HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Samson HD =MA
• Santa's Little Helper HD =MA
• Sausage Party HD =MA
• Savages 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA (unsure Which Version)
• Saving Mr. Banks HD =MA
• Saving Mr. Banks (googleplay) HD =MA
• Scarface 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Scarface HD =MA
• Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark 4K Vudu/iTunes or (GP HD)
• Schindler's List =MA HD
• the Scorpion King 3: Battle For Redemption (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Scorpion King 3: Battle For Redemption HD =MA
• the Scorpion King 4: Quest For Power (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Scorpion King 4: Quest For Power HD =MA
• Seal Team 8: Behind Enemy Lines HD (Vudu Or Googleplay)
• Search Party HD =MA
• Search Party (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Secret Life Of Pets HD =MA
• the Secret Life Of Pets (4K iTunes) =MA
• the Secret Life Of Pets 2 HD =MA
• the Secret Life Of Walter Mitty HD =MA
• See No Evil 2 HD Vudu
• Seeking A Friend For The End Of The Earth (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Selma HD (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Seventh Son (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Seventh Son HD =MA (iTunes Portion)
• Sex Tape SD =MA
• the Shack HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Shrek: Forever After (the final chapter) HD =MA
• Showdogs HD =MA
• Sicario HD Vudu
• Sicario 4K Vudu (or HD GP Or iTunes)
• Silver Linings Playbook HD (Vudu Or Googleplay)
• Single Mom's Club HD
• Sisters [unrated] (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Sisters [unrated] HD =MA
• Skin Trade HD Vudu Redeem
• Skyfall HD (Vudu Or Googleplay)
• Skyfall SD (iTunes)
• Skyscraper HD =MA
• Sleepless (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Slumdog Millionaire (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Smurfs 2 HD =MA
• the Smurfs 2 SD =MA
• Snitch HD Vudu
• Snow White & The Huntsman (4K iTunes) =MA
• Snow White & The Huntsman HD =MA
• Snowden HD =MA
• Snowden (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Son Of God HD =MA
• Sonic The Hedge hog 2 4K (Vudu or iTunes)
• the Spectacular Now SD Vudu
• Spectre 007 HD Vudu/GP/iTunes
• Spider-man: Far From Home HD =MA
• Spider-man: Far From Home SD =MA
• Spider-man: Homecoming HD =MA
• Spider-man: No-way Home SD =MA
• Split HD =MA
• the Sponge Bob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water HD Vudu / iTunes (split)
• Spy [unrated] HD =MA
• St. Vincent HD Vudu
• Stand Up Guys HD Vudu
• the Star SD =MA
• Star Trek [1] HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Star Trek [2] Into Darkness HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Star Trek [3] Beyond HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Star Wars: Force Awakens HD =MA (Vudu - No Upgrade)
• Star Wars: Rise Of The Skywalker 4K =MA
• Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker (googleplay) HD =MA
• Step Up Revolution HD Vudu Or (iTunes Quality Unknown)
• Straight Out Of Compton (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• Straight Out Of Compton [unrated] HD =MA
• Strange World (googleplay) HD =MA
• Street Kings (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Super 8 HD Vudu Portion
• Super Buddies (googleplay) HD =MA
• Super Troopers 2 HD =MA
• the Sword In The Stone (googleplay) HD =MA
• Taken (theatrical slip) SD =MA
• Taken (Extended slip) SD =MA
• Taken 2 HD =MA
• Taken 3 (extended) HD =MA
• Ted (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Ted [unrated] HD =MA
• Ted 2 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Teen Spirit HD =MA
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles HD Vudu/iTunes split
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows HD Vudu/iTunes split
• Temptation HD Vudu
• Temptation HD Vudu or Google Play (ask for this one for GP)
• Terminator Dark Fate HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• That Awkward Moment SD =MA
• That's My Boy SD =MA
• the Theory Of Everything (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Think Like A Man SD =MA
• Think Like A Man Too SD =MA
• This Is 40 (iTunes Portion) HD =MA
• This Is The End HD =MA
• This Is The End SD =MA
• Thor Love And Thunder 4K =MA
• Thor Love And Thunder HD =MA
• Thor Love And Thunder (googleplay) HD =MA
• Thor Ragnarok (googleplay) HD =MA
• Thor Ragnarok HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Three Stooges [the movie] (iTunes redeem) SD =MA
• Tinker Tailor Solder (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Tinkerbell And The Legend Of The NeverBeast HD =MA
• Top Gun HD Vudu & Unknown iTunes (split)
• Total Recall (1990) HD Vudu
• Total Recall (2012) [theater & Extended] HD =MA
• Total Recall (2012) SD =MA
• Tower Heist (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Toy Story 4 (googleplay) HD =MA
• Tracers SD Vudu
• Trainwreck (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Transformers: Age Of Extinction HD (Vudu Only)
• Transformers: Age Of Extinction SD Vudu
• Transformers: Dark Of The Moon HD Vudu
• Transformers: Dark Of The Moon SD Vudu
• Transformers: The Last Knight (digital Cut) HD Vudu Or iTunes 4K Split
• the Transporter (iTunes) SD =MA
• Trauma Center 4K Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Tremors 5: Bloodlines HD =MA
• Tremors 5: Bloodlines (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Tremors 6: A Cold Day In Hell HD =MA
• Trolls HD =MA
• True Grit HD Vudu (iTunes Split)
• Trumbo (iTunes redeem) HD =MA
• the Trust SD Vudu
• Turbo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Turbo HD =MA
• Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt 2 HD
• Unbroken (iTunes) HD =MA
• Unbroken HD =MA
• Underworld: Awakening SD =MA
• Underworld: Bloodwars HD =MA
• Unfriended HD (iTunes Portion) =MA
• Unfriended HD =MA
• Unknown (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Unstoppable (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Vampires Suck (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets HD Vudu
• Venom HD =MA
• Venom SD =MA
• the Vow SD =MA
• Walking With Dinosaurs HD =MA
• Wallstreet 2: Never Sleeps (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Wanderlust (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• War Of The Planet Of The Apes HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• War Room HD =MA
• War Room SD =MA
• Warcraft (4K iTunes) =MA
• Warcraft HD =MA
• Warm Bodies HD Vudu
• Warm Bodies HD Vudu/GP/ iTunes (4K iTunes Split)
• the Watch HD =MA
• Water For Elephants (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• We Bought A Zoo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Wedding Ringer SD =MA
• Werewolf: the Beast Among Us UR HD =MA
• Wanderlust (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Wanted (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• What Happens In Vegas (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• What To Expect When You're Expecting HD
• Whats Your Number (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• When The Game Stands Tall HD =MA
• When The Game Stands Tall SD =MA
• White House Down SD =MA
• Why Him? HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Widows HD =MA
• Wild Card HD Vudu
• Winchester HD Vudu/GP/iTunes
• the Witch SD Vudu
• the Wolf Of Wall Street HD Vudu (and 4K iTunes Split)
• the Wolfman (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Wolverine (iTunes Redeem) [SD?] =MA
• the Wolverine (unrated) HD =MA (must redeem on MA)
• the Woman In Black SD =MA
• Won't Back Down HD =MA
• Wonder HD (iTunes, Vudu Or GP)
• Woodlawn HD =MA
• Woodlawn (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• World War Z HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• X Men Apocalypse HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• X Men Days Of Future Past HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• X Men Days Of Future Past HD =MA
• X Men First Class (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• X Men Origins Wolverine (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• XXX: Return Of Xander Cage HD Vudu (or iTunes Split)
• Yesterday HD =MA
• Young Adult HD Vudu
• the Young Messiah (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Zero Dark Thirty HD =MA
• Zero Dark Thirty SD =MA
• Zootopia (googleplay) HD =MA

TV Series Marked
Vudu Only

• Nurse Jackie Season 6 HD Vudu
• Orange Is The New Black Season 1 SD Vudu
• True Detective Season 3 HD Vudu

ITUNES Only

• Game Of Thrones Season 1 HD iTunes Only
• Game Of Thrones Season 2 HD iTunes Only
• Game Of Thrones Season 3 HD iTunes Only
• Game Of Thrones Season 4 HD iTunes Only
• True Detective Season 3 HD iTunes Only

ITUNES Only MOVIES - No Port - Marked

• Abduction SD (iTunes)
• the Act Of Valor SD (iTunes)
• the Adventures of Tin Tin HD (iTunes)
• Alex Cross SD (iTunes)
• All Eyez On Me HD (iTunes)
• Annihilation HD (iTunes)
• Bankok Dangerous SD (iTunes)
• the Bank Job SD (iTunes)
• the Big Wedding HD (iTunes)
• Book Club 4K (iTunes)
• Brooklyn's Finest SD (iTunes)
• the Corrupted [2020] (iTunes)
• Criminal 4K (iTunes)
• Daybreakers SD (iTunes)
• the Dictator HD (iTunes)
• Divergent 4K (iTunes)
• Divergent Series: Allegiant 4K (iTunes)
• Divergent Series: Insurgent 4K (iTunes)
• Don Jon SD (iTunes)
• the Expendables [first movie] SD (iTunes)
• the Expendables 3 [unrated] HD (iTunes)
• Family Guy Its A Trap (iTunes)
• Forbidden Kingdom (iTunes)
• G.I.Joe The Rise Of The Cobra (iTunes)
• Gamer iTunes SD (iTunes)
• Ghost In The Shell 4K (iTunes)
• Gods Of Egypt 4K (iTunes)
• Hansel & Gretel [unrated] HD (iTunes)
• the Happytime Murders (apple Tv)
• the Haunting In Connecticut (iTunes)
• Hot Tub Time Machine SD (iTunes)
• House At The End Of The Street SD (iTunes)
• Hercules 4K (iTunes)
• Hot Tub Time Machine (iTunes)
• the Hunger Games [4k Itunes] or [GP-HD]
• the Hunger Games: Catching Fire [4k Itunes] or [HD GP]
• the Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 1 [4k Itunes] or [HD GP]
• I Feel Pretty (apple Tv)
• Jack Reacher 4K (iTunes)
• Jack Reacher: Never Go Back 4K (iTunes)
• John Wick 4K (iTunes)
• Immortals (iTunes)
• Interstellar 4K (iTunes)
• La La Land 4K (iTunes)
• Labor Day HD (iTunes)
• the Last Witch Hunter 4K (iTunes)
• Limitless (iTunes)
• the Lincoln Lawyer (iTunes)
• Machine Gun Preacher (iTunes)
• Mission Impossible: Fallout HD (iTunes)
• Monster Trucks HD (iTunes)
• Movie 43 (iTunes)
• Noah HD (iTunes)
• Office Christmas Party 4K (iTunes)
• One For The Money [Bluray] (iTunes)
• Pain & Gain HD (iTunes)
• Paranoia (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 2 HD (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 3 HD (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 4 HD (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 5: The Marked Ones HD (iTunes)
• Pet Sematary 2019 4K (iTunes)
• Pink Panther 2 (iTunes)
• the Raven SD (iTunes)
• Red Dawn SD (iTunes)
• Rogue Warfare HD (iTunes)
• Safehaven (iTunes)
• Same Kind Of Different As Me HD (iTunes)
• the Shack HD (iTunes)
• the Spirit SD (iTunes)
• Star Trek SD (iTunes)
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars SD (iTunes)
• Step Up Revolution (iTunes)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (tmnt1) 4K (iTunes)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Out Of The Shadows 4K (iTunes)
• Terminator: Dark Fate 4K (iTunes)
• Texas Chainsaw [2013] (iTunes)
• Titanic (iTunes)
• Transformers: Age Of Extinction 4K (iTunes)
• Transformers: Dark Of The Moon 4K (iTunes)
• Transformers: the Last Knight 4K (iTunes)
• Transporter 3 SD (iTunes)
• Warm Bodies SD (iTunes)
• What to Expect While Expecting SD (iTunes)
• Wonder 4K (iTunes)
• Xxx Return Of Xander Cage 4K (iTunes)

CANADIAN CODES: GOOGLE PLAY / ITUNES MARKED I do not know any of these port

• Black Water (GP) Can. (NOT MA)
• Hitman Agent 47 (GP/iTunes) Can.
• Kingsman: the Golden Circle (GP/iTunes) Can.
• the Wolverine (GP/iTunes) Can.

WANT LIST
Titles I am looking for

The long road of Swiss is almost over. This is the last chance for teams that hope to get an at-large berth to get a big win to impress the committee before conference play begins. Can UCLA finish the sweep against Illinois? Can Top 25 newcomers solidify their position against those who used to be ranked? Will the mid-majors get the scalp they need?
Let's look at that last question, as the top mid-major team the last few seasons takes on a contender to the throne.
*****
UNLV Runnin' Rebels vs. Princeton Tigers.
If ever the phrase "contrast of styles" applied, it applies here. UNLV, as the name implies, loves to get out in the fast break lanes and emphasize their athleticism. Princeton, meanwhile, is cagey and intellectual, slowing the game down and making their defense a puzzle. Something has to give.
"We're going to see this in conference play [with Air Force], so I'm glad we're getting a taste of it now," Rebels coach Jerry Tarkanian said. "This is our chance to show the selection committee the strength we have and the depth that mid-majors provide. We're a mid-major in name only."
Princeton, meanwhile, is in a tenuous position. Whereas many pundits are predicting UNLV will be strong enough to make the NIBL tournament with or without the Mountain West's automatic bid, there's no certainty for the Tigers. The Ivy League doesn't have as much depth; as such, Princeton needs all the wins they can get.
"We know this is a big game for us," guard Geoff Petrie told reporters. "We have to have a win."
ROSTERS
​

UNLV Runnin' Rebels (7-4)	#	Princeton Tigers (7-4)
Stacey AUGMON	0	Bill BRADLEY
Marcus BANKS	1	Devin CANNADY
Keon CLARK	2	Brian EARL
Armen GILLIAM	3	Steve GOODRICH
Glen GONDREZICK	4	Armond HILL
Sidney GREEN	5	Ian HUMMER
Larry JOHNSON	6	John HUMMER
Derrick JONES Jr	7	Mike KEARNS
Shawn MARION	8	Gabe LEWULLIS
Tyrone NESBY	9	Ted MANAKAS
Isaiah RIDER	10	Bud PALMER
Robert SMITH	11	Geoff PETRIE
Ricky SOBERS	12	Brian TAYLOR
Reggie THEUS	13	Judson WALLACE
Christian WOOD	14	Chris YOUNG

LINE: UNLV by 21
*****
TOP 25 GAMES
#1 UCLA (11-0) at #25 Illinois (9-2)
#3 Kentucky (10-1) at #8 Michigan (9-2)
#4 Duke (9-2) at #15 Southern Cal (9-2)
#10 Indiana (9-2) at N.C. State (9-2)
#5 Kansas (9-2) at #9 Notre Dame (9-2)
#2 North Carolina (9-2) at Arkansas (9-2)
#17 DePaul (8-3) at #16 Maryland (8-3)
#22 Florida (8-3) at Louisville (8-3)
#23 Iowa (8-3) at Houston (8-3)
#18 LSU (8-3) at West Virginia (8-3)
#20 Minnesota (8-3) at California (8-3)
#11 Ohio State (8-3) at Arizona State (8-3)
Saint John's (8-3) at #13 Texas (8-3)
#7 Syracuse (8-3) at #14 Arizona (8-3)
Tennessee (8-3) at #12 Connecticut (8-3)
Washington (8-3) at #21 Alabama (8-3)
#6 Michigan State (8-3) at Saint Louis (7-4)
Tulsa (7-4) at #19 Georgetown (7-4)
#24 UNLV (7-4) at Princeton (7-4)

The whirring blades of my MD-902 throbbed against the warm evening air, and I smiled.
From 5,000 feet, the ground flew by in a carpet of dark forests and kelly-green fields. The sun hung low on the horizon in a picturesque array of dazzling orange and gold, and I could make out the narrow strip of the Ohio River to my left, glistening in the fading daylight. This time of year, the trees would be full of the sweet aroma of fresh blossoms, and the frequent rains kept small pockets of fluffy white mist hanging in the treetops. It was a beautiful view, one that reminded me of why being a helicopter pilot trumped flying in a jumbo jet far above the clouds every day of the week.
Fourteen more days, and I’m debt free.
That made me grin even more. I’d been working as a charter pilot ever since I obtained my license at age 19, and after years of keeping my nose to the grindstone, I was closing on the final payment for real-estate in western Pennsylvania. With no debt, a fixer-upper house on 30 rural acres all to myself, and a respectable wage for a 26-year-old pilot, I looked forward to the financial freedom I could now enjoy. Maybe I’d take a vacation, somewhere exotic like Venice Italy, or the Dominican Republic. Or perhaps I’d sock the money back for the day I started a family.
“Remember kleineun, a real man looks after his own.”
My elderly ouma’s voice came back from the depths of my memories, her proud, sun-tanned face rising from the darkness. She and my Rhodesian grandfather had emigrated to the US when they were newlyweds, as the violence against white Boer descendants in South Africa spiraled out of control. My mother and father both died in a car crash when I was six, and it had been my grandparents who raised me. Due to this, I’d grown up with a slight accent that many of my classmates found amusing, and I could speak both English, and Afrikaans, the Boer tongue of our former home.
I shifted in my seat, stretched my back muscles, and glanced at the picture taped to my console. Both my parents flanked a grinning, gap-toothed six-year-old me, at the last Christmas we’d spent together. My mother beamed, her dark hair and Italian features a sharp contrast to my father’s sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. Sometimes, I liked to imagine they were smiling at me with pride at how well I flew the old silver-colored bird my company had assigned to me, and that made the long, lonely flights easier to bear.
A flicker caught my eye, and I broke my gaze away from the photograph.
Perched in its small cradle above the controls, my little black Garmin fuzzed over for a few seconds, its screen shifting from brightly colored maps to a barrage of grey static.
Did the power chord come loose?
I checked, ensuring the power-cable for the unit’s battery was plugged into the port on the control panel. It was a brand-new GPS unit, and I’d used it a few times already, so I knew it wasn’t defective. Granted, I could fly and navigate without it, but the Garmin made my time as a pilot so much easier that the thought of going blind was dreadful.
My fuel gauge danced, clicked to empty, then to full, in a bizarre jolt.
More of the gauges began to stutter, the entire panel seeming to develop terrets all at once, and my pulse began to race. Something was wrong, very wrong, and the sludge inside my bowels churned with sour fear.
“Come on, come on.” I flicked switches, turned dials, punched buttons, but nothing seemed to fix the spasming electronics. Every gauge failed, and without warning, I found myself plunged into inky darkness.
Outside, the sun surrendered to the pull of night, the sky darker than usual. A distant rumble of thunder reverberated above the roar of my helicopter’s engine, and I thought I glimpsed a streak of yellowish lightning on the far horizon to my left.
Calm down Chris. We’re still flying, so it must just be a blown fuse. Stay in control and find a place to set her down.
My sweaty palm slid on the cyclic stick, and both feet weighed heavy on the yaw pedals. The collective stuck to my other hand with a nervous vibration, and I squinted against the abyss outside.
Beep.
I jumped despite myself, as the little Garmin on my panel flared back to life, the static pulling aside to reveal a twitching display. Each time the screen glitched, it showed the colorful map detailing my flight path over the ground below, but I noticed that some of the lines changed, the names shifting, as if the device couldn’t decide between two different versions of the world.
One name jutted out at me, slate gray like most of the major county names, appearing with ghostly flickers from between two neighboring ones.
Barron County.
I stared, confused. I’d flown over this section of southeastern Ohio plenty of times, and I knew the counties by heart. At this point, I should have been over the southern end of Noble County, and maybe dipping lower into Washington. There was no Barron County Ohio. I was sure of it.
And yet it shown back at me from the digital landscape, a strange, almost cigar-shaped chunk of terrain carved from the surrounding counties like a tumor, sometimes there, sometimes not, as my little Garmin struggled to find the correct map. Rain began to patter against my cockpit window, and the entire aircraft rattled from a strong gust of wind. Thick clouds closed over my field of vision like a sea of gray cotton.
The blood in my veins turned to ice, and I sucked in a nervous breath.
Land. I had to land. There was nothing else to do, my flight controls weren’t responding, and only my Garmin had managed to come back to life. Perhaps I’d been hit by lightning, and the electronics had been fried? Either way, it was too dark to tell, but a storm seemed to be brewing, and if I didn’t get my feet on the ground soon, I could be in real trouble.
“Better safe than sorry.” I pushed down on the collective to start my slow descent and clicked the talking button for my headset. “Any station, this is Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot, over.”
Nothing.
“Any station, this is Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot, requesting emergency assistance, over.”
Still nothing.
If the radio’s dead, I’m really up a creek.
With my hand shaking, I clicked on the mic one more time. “Any station, this is—”
Like a curtain pulling back, the fog cleared from around my window, and the words stuck in my throat.
Without my gauges, I couldn’t tell just how far I’d descended, but I was definitely very low. Thick trees poked up from the ground, and the hills rolled into high ridges with flat valley floors, fields and pastures pockmarking them. Rain fell all around in cold, silvery sheets, a normal feature for the mid spring in this part of Ohio.
What wasn’t normal, were the fires.
At first, I thought they were forest fires for the amount of smoke and flames that bellowed from each spot, but as I swooped lower, my eyes widened in horror.
They were houses.
Farms, cottages, little clusters that barely constituted villages, all of them belched orange flames and black pillars of sooty smoke. I couldn’t hear above the helicopter blades, but I could see the flashes on the ground, along the road, in between the trees, and even coming from the burning buildings, little jets of golden light that spat into the darkness with anger.
Gunfire. That’s rifle fire, a whole lot of it.
Tiny black figures darted through the shadows, barely discernable from where I sat, several hundred feet up. I couldn’t see much, but some were definitely running away, the streaks of yellow gunfire chasing them. A few dark gray vehicles rumbled down one of the gravel roads, and sprayed fire into the houses as it went. They were fighting, I realized, the people in the trucks and the locals. It was horrific, like something out of war-torn Afghanistan, but worse.
Then, I caught a glimpse of the others.
They didn’t move like the rest, who either fled from the dark vehicles, or fired back from behind cover. These skinny figures loped along with haphazard gaits, many running on all fours like animals, swarming from the trees by the dozens. They threw themselves into the gales of bullets without flinching, attacking anyone within range, and something about the way they moved, so fluid, so fearless, made my heart skip a beat.
What is that?
“Echo Four Actual to unknown caller, please respond, over.”
Choking back a cry of shock, I fumbled at the control panel with clumsy fingers, the man’s voice sharp and stern. I hadn’t realized that I’d let go of the talking button and clicked it down again. “Hello? Hello, this is Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot out of Pittsburgh, over.”
An excruciating moment passed, and I continued to zoom over the trees, the fires falling away behind me as more silent forest took over.
“Roger that Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot, we read you loud and clear. Please identify yourself and any passengers or cargo you might be carrying, over.”
Swallowing hard, I eyed the treetops, which looked much closer than they should have been. How far had I descended? “Echo Four Actual, my name is Christopher Dekker, and I am alone. I’m a charter flight from PA, carrying medical equipment for OSU in Columbus. My controls have been damaged, and I am unable to safely carry on due to the storm. Requesting permission to land, over.”
I watched the landscape slide by underneath me, once catching sight of what looked like a little white church surrounded by smaller huts, dozens of figures in the yard staring up at me as I flew over a towering ridgeline.
“Solid copy on that Douglass Three-One-Four-Foxtrot. Be advised, your transponder shows you to be inside a restricted zone. Please cease all radio traffic, reduce your speed, climb to 3,000 feet and proceed north. We’ll talk you in from there. How copy, over?”
My heart jumped, and I let out a sigh of relief. “Roger that Echo Four Actual, my altimeter is down, but I’ll do my best to eyeball the altitude, over.”
With that, I pulled the collective upward, and tried my best to gauge how far I was by eyesight in the gathering night, rain still coming down all around me. This had to be some kind of disaster or riot, I decided. After all, the voice over the radio sounded like military, and those vehicles seemed to have heavy weapons. Maybe there was some kind of unrest going on here that I hadn’t heard about yet?
Kind of weird for it to happen in rural areas though. Spoiled college kids I get, but never saw farmers get so worked up before. They usually love the military.
Something moved in the corner of my eye, and I turned out of reflex.
My mouth fell open, and I froze, unable to scream.
In the sky beside me, a huge shadow glided along, and its leathery wings effortlessly carved through the gloom, flapping only on occasion to keep it aloft. It was too dark for me to see what color it was, but from the way it moved, I knew it wasn’t another helicopter. No, this thing was alive, easily the size of a small plane, and more than twice the length of my little McDonald Douglass. A long tail trailed behind it, and bore a distinct arrow-shaped snout, with twig-like spines fanned out around the back of its head. Whatever legs it had were drawn up under it like a bird, yet its skin appeared rough and knobby, almost resembling tree bark. Without pause, the gigantic bat-winged entity flew along beside me, as if my presence was on par with an annoying fly buzzing about its head.
Gripping the microphone switch so tight, I thought I’d crack the plastic, I whispered into my headset, forgetting all radio protocol. “T-There’s something up here.”
Static crackled.
“Douglas Three-One-Four-Foxtrot, say again your last, you’re coming in weak and unreadable, over.”
“There’s something up here.” I snarled into the headset, still glued to the controls of the helicopter, afraid to deviate even an inch from my course in case the monstrosity decided to turn on me. “A freaking huge thing, right beside me. I swear, it looks like a bat or . . . I don’t know.”
“Calm down.” The man on the other end of the radio broke his rigorous discipline as well, his voice deep, but level. “It won’t attack if you don’t move too fast. Slowly ease away from it and follow that course until you’re out of sight.”
I didn’t have time to think about how wrong that sounded, how the man’s strict tone had changed to one of knowledge, how he hadn’t been the least surprised by what I’d said. Instead, I slowly turned the helicopter away from the huge menace and edged the speed higher in tiny increments.
As soon as I was roughly two football fields away, I let myself relax, and clicked the mic switch. “It’s not following.”
“You’re sure?”
Eyeing the huge flapping wings, I nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see me. “Yeah, I’m well clear.”
“Good. Thank you, Mr. Dekker.”
Then, the radio went dead.
Something in my chest dropped, a weight that made my stomach roil. This wasn’t right, none of it. Who was that man? Why did he know about the thing I’d just seen? What was I supposed to—
A flash of light exploded from the trees to my right and shot into the air with a long finger of smoke.
What the . . .
On instinct, I jerked the cyclic stick to one side, and the helicopter swung to avoid the rocket.
Boom.
My world shook, metal screeched, and a dozen alarms began to go off inside the cockpit in a cacophony of beeps and sirens. Orange and red flames lit up the night sky just behind me, and the horizon started to spin wildly outside. Heat gushed from the cockpit door, and I smelled the greasy stench of burning oil. The safety belts dug into my shoulders, and with a final slip, the radio headset ripped free from my scalp.
I’m hit.
Desperate, I yanked on the controls, fought the bird even as she spun toward the ground in a wreath of flames, the inky black trees hurtling up to meet me. The helicopter went into full auto-rotation, the sky blurring past outside, and the alarms blared in a screech of doom. Panic slammed through my temples, I screamed at the top of my lungs, and for one brief second, my eyes locked on the little black Garmin still perched atop my control panel.
Its screen stopped twitching and settled on a map of the mysterious Barron County, with a little red arrow at the center of the screen, a few words popping up underneath it.
You are here.
Trees stabbed up into the sky, the belts crushed at my torso, glass shattered all around me, and the world went dark.
Copper, thick, warm, and tangy.
It filled my mouth, stank metallic in my nose, clogged my throat, choking me. In the murkiness, I fought for a surface, for a way out, blind and numb in the dark.
This way, kleineun.
My ouma’s voice echoed from somewhere in the shadows.
This way.
Both eyes flew open, and I gagged, spitting out a stream of red.
Pain throbbed in my ribs, and a heavy pressure sent a tingling numbness through my shoulders. Blood roared inside my temples, and stars danced before my eyes with a dizzying array. Humid night air kissed my skin, and something sticky coated my face, neck, and arms that hung straight up toward the ceiling.
Wait. Not up. Down.
I blinked at the wrinkled, torn ceiling of the cockpit, the glass all gone, the gray aluminum shredded like tissue paper. Just outside the broken windows, thick Appalachian bluegrass and stemmy underbrush swished in a feeble breeze, backlit by flashes of lightning from the thunderstorm overhead. Green and brown leaves covered everything in a wet carpet of triangles, and somewhere nearby, a cricket chirped.
Turning my head from side to side, I realized that I hung upside down inside the ruined helicopter, the top half burrowed into the mud. I could hear the hissing and crackling of flames, the pattering of rain falling on the hot aluminum, and the smaller brush fires around the downed aircraft sizzling out in the damp long grass. Charred steel and burning oil tainted the air, almost as strong as the metallic, coppery stench in my aching nose.
They shot me down. That military dude shot me out of the sky.
It didn’t make sense. I’d followed their orders, done everything they’d said, and yet the instant I veered safely away from whatever that thing in the sky had been, they’d fired, not at it, but at me.
Looking down (or rather, up) at my chest, I sucked in a gasp, which was harder to do that before.
The navy-blue shirt stuck to my torso with several big splotches of dark, rusty red. Most were clean slashes, but two held bits of glass sticking out of them, one alarmingly bigger than the other. They dripped cherry red blood onto my upturned face, and a wave of nausea hit me.
I gotta get down.
I flexed my arms to try and work some feeling back into them, praying nothing was broken. Half-numb from hanging so long, I palmed along my aching body until I felt the buckled for the seat belts.
“Okay.” I hissed between gritted teeth, in an effort to stave off my panic. “You can do this. Just hold on tight. Nice and tight. Here we go . . .”
Click.
Everything seemed to lurch, and I slid off the seat to plummet towards the muck-filled hole in the cockpit ceiling. My fingers were slick with blood and slipped over the smooth faux-leather pilot’s seat with ease. The shoulder belt snagged on the bits of glass that lay just under the left lowest rib, and a flare of white-hot pain ripped through me.
Wham.
I screamed, my right knee caught the edge of the aluminum ceiling, and both hands dove into a mound of leaf-covered glass shards on the opposite side of the hole. My head swam, being right-side-up again enough to make shadows gnaw at the corner of my eyes.
Forcing myself to breath slowly, I fought the urge to faint and slid back to sit on the smooth ceiling. I turned my hands over to see half a dozen bits of clear glass burrowed into my skin like greedy parasites, red blood weeping around the new cuts.
“Screw you.” I spat at the rubbish with angry tears in my eyes. “Screw you, screw you, screw you.”
The shards came out easy enough, and the cuts weren’t that deep, but that wasn’t what worried me. On my chest, the single piece of cockpit glass that remined was almost as big as my palm, and it really hurt. Just touching it felt like self-inflicted torture, but I knew it had to come out sooner or later.
Please don’t nick a vein.
Wiping my hands dry on my jeans, I gripped the shard with both hands, and jerked.
Fire roared over my ribs, and hot blood tickled my already grimy pale skin. I clapped a hand over the wound, pressing down hard, and grunted out a string of hateful expletives that my ouma would have slapped me for.
Lying on my back, I stared around me at the messy cargo compartment of the MD-902. Most of the medical supplies had been in cardboard boxes strapped down with heavy nylon tow-straps, but several cases had ruptured with the force of the impact, spraying bandages, syringes, and pill bottles all over the cluttered interior. Orange flames chewed at the crate furthest to the rear, the tail section long gone, but the foremost part of the hold was intact. Easily a million-dollar mess, it would have made me faint on any other trip, but today it was a godsend.
Half-blind in the darkness, I crawled along with only the firelight and lightning bolts to guide me, my right knee aching. Like a crippled raccoon, I collected things as I went, conscious of the two pallets of intact supplies weighing right over my head. I’d taken several different first-aid courses with some hunting buddies of mine, and the mental reflexes kicked in to help soothe my frazzled mind.
Check for bleeds, stop the worst, then move on.
Aside from my battered chest and stomach, the rest of me remained mostly unharmed. I had nasty bruises from the seatbelts, my right knee swelled, my nose slightly crooked and crusted in blood, but otherwise I was intact. Dowsing every scratch and cut with a bottle of isopropyl alcohol I found, I used butterfly closures on the smaller lacerations that peppered my skin. I wrapped soft white gauze over my abused palms and probed at the big cut where the last shard had been, only stopping when I was sure there were no pieces of glass wedged inside my flesh.
“Not too bad.” I grunted to myself, trying to sound impassive like a doctor might. “Rib must have stopped it. Gonna need stitches though. That’ll be fun.”
Pawing through the broken cases, I couldn’t find any suture chord, but just as I was about to give up, I noticed a small box that read ‘medical skin stapler’.
Bingo.
I tore the small white plastic stapler free from its packaging and eyeballed the device. I’d never done this before, only seen it in movies, and even though the cut in my skin hurt, I wondered if this wouldn’t be worse.
You’ve gotta do it. That bleeding needs to stop. Besides, no one’s coming to rescue you, not with those rocket-launching psychos out there.
Taking a deep breath, I pinched the skin around the gash together, and pressed the mouth of the stapler to it.
Click.
A sharp sting, like that of a needle bit at the skin, but it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as the cut itself. I worked my way across the two-inch laceration and gave out a sigh of relief when it was done.
“Not going to bleed to death today.” I daubed ointment around the staples before winding more bandages over the wound.
Popping a few low-grade painkillers that tumbled from the cargo, I crawled wriggled through the nearest shattered window into the wet grass.
Raindrops kissed my face, clean and cool on my sweaty skin. Despite the thick cloud cover, there was enough constant lightning strikes within the storm to let me get glimpses of the world around me. My helicopter lay on its back, the blades snapped like pencils, with bits and pieces of it burning in chunks all around the small break in the trees. Chest-high scrub brush grew all around the low-lying ground, with pockets of standing water in places. My ears still rang from the impact of the crash, but I could start to pick up more crickets, frogs, and even some nocturnal birds singing into the darkness, like they didn’t notice the huge the hulk of flaming metal that had fallen from the sky. Overhead, the thunder rumbled onward, the feeble wind whistling, and there were other flashes on the horizon, orange and red ones, with crackles that didn’t sound quite like lightning.
The guns. They’re still fighting.
Instinctively, I pulled out my cellphone, and tapped the screen.
It fluttered to life, but no matter how I tried, I couldn’t get through to anyone, not even with the emergency function designed to work around having no service. The complicated wonder of our modern world was little better than a glorified paperweight.
Stunned, I sat down with my back to the helicopter and rested my head against the aluminum skin of the craft. How I’d gone from a regular medical supply run to being marooned in this hellish parody of rural America, I didn’t know, but one thig was certain; I needed a plan. Whoever fired the missile could have already contacted my charter company and made up some excuse to keep them from coming to look for me. No one else knew I was here, and even though I now had six staples holding the worst of my injuries shut, I knew I needed proper medical attention. If I wanted to live, I’d have to rescue myself.
My bag. I need to get my go-bag, grab some gear and then . . . head somewhere else.
It took me a while to gather my green canvas paratrooper bag from its place behind the pilot’s seat and fill it with whatever supplies I could scrounge. My knee didn’t seem to be broken, but man did it hurt, and I dreaded the thought of walking on it for miles on end. I focused instead on inventorying my gear and trying to come up with a halfway intelligent plan of action.
I had a stainless-steel canteen with one of those detachable cups on the bottom, a little fishing kit, some duct tape, a lighter, a black LED flashlight with three spare batteries, a few tattered road maps with a compass, a spare pair of socks, medical supplies from the cargo, and a simple forest green plastic rain poncho. I also managed to unearth a functioning digital camcorder my ouma had gotten me for Christmas a few years back, though I wasn’t sure I wanted to do any filming in such a miserable state. Lastly, since it was a private supply run from a warehouse area near Pittsburgh to a direct hospital pad in Ohio, I’d been able to bring my K-Bar, a sturdy, and brutally simple knife designed for the Marine Corps that I used every time I went camping. It was pitiful in comparison to the rifle I wished I had with me, but that didn’t matter now. I had what I had, and I doubted my trusty Armalite would have alleviated my sore knee anyway.
Clicking on my flashlight, I huddled with the poncho around my shoulders inside the wreck of the chopper and peered at the dusty roadmaps. A small part of me hoped that a solution would jump out from the faded paper, but none came. These were all maps of western PA and eastern Ohio. None of them had a Barron County on them anywhere.
The man on the radio said to head north, right before they shot me down. That means they must be camped out to the north of here. South had that convoy and those burning houses, so that’s a no-go. Maybe I can backtrack eastward the way I came.
As if on cue, a soft pop echoed from over the eastern horizon, and I craned to look out the helicopter window, spotting more man-made flashes over the tree tops.
“Great.” I hissed between clenched teeth, aware of how the temperature dipped to a chilly 60 degrees, and how despite the conditions, my stomach had begun to growl. “Not going that way, are we? Westward it is.”
Walking away from my poor 902 proved to be harder than I’d anticipated. Despite the glass, the fizzling fires, and the darkness, it still held a familiar, human essence to it. Sitting inside it made me feel secure, safe, even calm about the situation. In any other circumstance, I would have just stayed with the downed aircraft to wait for help, but I knew the men who shot me down would likely find my crash site, and I didn’t want to be around when they did.
Unlike much of central and western Ohio, southeastern Ohio is hilly, brushy, and clogged with thick forests. Thorns snagged at my thin poncho and sliced at my pant legs. My knee throbbed, every step a form of self-inflicted torture. The rain never stopped, a steady drizzle from above just cold enough to be problematic as time went on, making me shiver. Mud slid under my tennis shoes, and every tree looked ten times bigger in the flickering beam of my cheap flashlight. Icy fear prickled at the back of my neck at some of the sounds that greeted me through the gloom. I’d been camping loads of times, both in Pennsylvania and elsewhere, but these noises were something otherworldly to me.
Strange howls, screeches, and calls permeated the rain-soaked sky, some almost roars, while others bordered on human in their intonation. The more I walked, the softer the distant gunfire became, and the more prevalent the odd sounds, until the shadows seemed to fill with them. I didn’t dare turn off my flashlight, or I’d been completely blind in the dark, but a little voice in the back of my head screamed that I was too visible, crunching through the gloomy forest with my long beam of light stabbing into the abyss. It felt as though a million eyes were on me, studying me, hunting me from the surrounding brush, and I bitterly recalled how much I’d loved the old Survivor Man TV series as a kid.
Not so fun being out in the woods at night. Especially alone.
A twig snapped somewhere behind me, and I whirled on the spot, one trembling hand resting on the hilt of my K-Bar.
Nothing. Nothing but trees, bushes, and rain dripping down in the darkness.
“This is stupid.” I whispered to myself to keep my nerves in check as I slowly spun on the spot. “I should have went eastward anyway. God knows how long I’m going to have to—”
Creak.
A groan of metal-on-metal echoed from somewhere to my right, and I spun to face it, yanking the knife on my belt free from its scabbard. It felt so small and useless in my hand, and I choked down a wave of nauseas fear.
Ka-whump. Creak. K-whump. Creak.
Underbrush cracked and crunched, a few smaller saplings thrashed, and from deep within the gloom, two yellow orbs flared to life. They poked through the mist in the trees, forming into slender fingers of golden light that swept back and forth in the dark.
The soldiers . . . they must be looking for me.
I swallowed hard and turned to slink away.
Ice jammed through my blood, and I froze on the spot, biting my tongue to stop the scream.
It stood not yards away, a huge form that towered a good twelve feet tall in the swirling shadows. Unpolished chrome blended with flash-rusted spots in the faded red paint, and grime-smeared glass shone with dull hues in the flashes of lightning. Where the wheels should have been, the rounded steel axels curved like some enormous hand had bent them, and the tires lay face-down on the muddy ground like big round feet, their hubcaps buried in the dirt. Dents, scrapes, and chips covered the battered thing, and its crooked little radio antenna pointed straight up from the old metal fender like a mast. I could barely make out the mud-coated VW on the rounded hood, and my mind reeled in shock.
Is . . . is that a car?
Both yellow headlights bathed me in a circle of bright, blinding light, and neither I nor the strange vehicle moved.
Seconds ticked by, the screech-thumping in the background only growing closer. I realized that I couldn’t hear any engine noises and had yet to see any soldiers or guns pointed my way. This car looked old, really old, like one of those classic Volkswagen Beetles that collectors fought over at auctions. Try as I might, I couldn’t see a driver inside the murky, mold-smeared windows.
Because there wasn’t one.
Lightning arched across the sky overhead, and the car standing in front of me blinked.
Its headlights slid shut, as if little metal shades had crawled over the bulbs for a moment and flicked open again. Something about that movement was so primal, so real, so lifelike, that every ounce of self-control I had melted in an instant.
Cursing under my breath, I lunged into the shrubs, and the world erupted around me.
Under my shoes, the ground shook, and the car surged after me in a cacophony of ka-thumps that made my already racing heart skip several beats. A weather-beaten brown tow truck from the 50’s charged through the thorns to my left, it’s headlights ablaze, and a dilapidated yellow school bus rose from its hiding place in the weeds to stand tall on four down-turned axel-legs. They all flicked their headlights on like giants waking from their slumber, and as I dodged past them, they each blared their horn into the night in alarm.
My breaths came short and tight, my knee burned, and I crashed through thorns and briars without thought to how badly I was getting cut up.
The cheap poncho tore, and I ripped it away as it caught on a tree branch.
A purple 70’s Mustang shook off its blanket of creeping vines and bounded from a stand of trees just ahead, forcing me to swerve to avoid being run over, my adrenaline at all-time highs.
This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening.
Slipping and sliding, I pushed through a stand of multiflora rose, and stumbled out into a flat, dark expanse.
I almost skidded to a stop.
What had once been a rather large field stood no taller than my shoestrings, the grass charred, and burnt. The storm above illuminated huge pieces of wreckage that lay scattered over the nearly 40-acre plot, and I could just make out the fire-blackened hulk of a fuselage resting a hundred yards away. The plane had been brought down a while ago it seemed, as there weren’t any flames left burning, and I threw myself toward it in frenzied desperation.
Burned grass and greasy brown topsoil slushed underfoot, and I could hear the squelching of the cars pursing me. Rain soaked me to the bone, and my lungs ached from sucking down the damp night air. A painful stich crept into my side, and I cursed myself for not putting in more time for cardio at the gym.
Something caught my left shoelace, and I hurtled to the ground, tasting mud and blood in between my teeth.
They’ve got me now.
I clawed at the mud, rolled, and watched a tire slam down mere inches from where my head had been. The Mustang loomed over me and jostled for position with the red Volkswagen and brown tow truck, the school bus still a few yards behind them. They couldn’t seem to decide who would get the pleasure of stomping me to death, and like a herd of stampeding wildebeest, they locked bumpers in an epic shoving match.
On all fours, I scampered out from under the sparring brutes, and dashed for the crumpled airplane, a white-painted DC-3 that looked like it had been cut in half by a gargantuan knife blade. I passed a snapped wing section, the oily remains of a turbo-prop engine, and a mutilated wheel from the landing gear. Climbing over a heap of mud, I squeezed into the back of the ruined flight cabin and dropped down into the dark cargo hold.
Wham.
No sooner had my sneakers hit the cold metal floor, and the entire plane rocked from the impact of something heavy ramming it just outside. I tumbled to my knees, screaming in pain as, once again, I managed to bash the sore one off a bracket in the wall.
My hand smeared in something gooey, and I scrabbled for my flashlight.
It clicked on, a wavering ball of white light in the pitch darkness, and I fought the urge to gag. “Oh man . . .”
Three people, or what was left of them, lay strewn over the narrow cargo area. Claret red blood coated the walls, caked on the floor, and clotted under my mud-spattered shoes. Bits of flesh and viscera were stuck to everything, and tatters of cloth hung from exposed sections of broken bone. An eerie set of bloody handprints adorned the walls, and the only reason I could tell it had been three people were the shoes; all of them bore anklebones sticking out above blood-soaked socks. It smelled sickly sweet, a strange, nauseas odor that crept into my nose and settled on the back of my tongue like an alien parasite.
Something glinted in the beam of my flashlight, and my pulse quickened as I pried the object loose from the severed arm that still clung to it.
“Hail Mary full of Grace.” I would have grinned if it weren’t for the fact that the plane continued to buck and roll under the assault from the cars outside.
The pistol looked old, but well-maintained, aside from the light coating of dark blood that stained its round wooden handle. It felt heavy, but good in my hand, and I turned it over to read the words, Waffenfabrik Mauser stenciled into the frame, with a large red 9 carved into the grip. For some reason, it vaguely reminded me of the blasters from Star Wars.
I fumbled with a little switch that looked like a safety on the back of the gun and stumbled toward a gap in the plane’s dented fuselage to aim out at the surrounding headlights.
Bang.
The old gun bucked reliably in my hand, its long barrel spitting a little jet of flame into the night. I had no idea if I hit anything, but the attacking cars recoiled, their horns blaring in confusion.
They turned, and scuttled for the tree line as fast as their mechanical legs could go, the entire ordeal over as fast as it had begun.
Did I do that?
Perplexed, I stared down at the pistol in my hand.
Whoosh.
A large, inky black shadow glided down from the clouds, and the yellow school bus moved too slow to react in time.
With a crash, the kicking nightmarish vehicle was thrown onto its side, spraying glass and chrome trim across the muddy field. Its electro-synth horn blared with wails of mechanical agony, as two huge talon-like feet clamped down on it, and the enormous head of the flying creature lowered to rip open its engine compartment.
The horn cut out, and the enormous flying entity jerked its head back to gulp down a mass of what looked like sticky black vines from the interior of the shattered bus.
At this range, I could see now that the flying creature bore two legs and had its wings half-tucked like a vulture that had descended to feed on roadkill. Its head turned slightly, and in the glow of another lightning bolt, my jaw went slack at the realization of what it was.
A tree trunk. It’s a rotted tree trunk.
I couldn’t tell where the reptilian beast began, and where the organic tree components ended, the upper part of the head shaped like a log, while the lower jaw resembled something out of a dinosaur movie. Its skin looked identical to the outside of a shagbark hickory but flexed with a supple featheriness that denoted something closer to skin. Sharp branch-like spines ranged down its back, and out to the end of its tail, which bore a massive round club shaped like a diseased tree-knot. Crouched on both hind legs, it braced the hooked ends of its folded wings against the ground like a bat, towering higher than a semi-truck. Under the folds of its armored head, a bulging pair of chameleon-like eyes constantly spun in their sockets, probing the dark for threats while it ate.
One black pupil locked onto the window I peered through, and my heart stopped.
The beast regarded me for a moment, with a curious, sideways sniff.
With a proud, contemptful head-toss, the shadow from the sky parted rows of razor-sharp teeth to let out a roar that shook the earth beneath my feet. It was the triumphant war cry of a creature that sat at the very top of the food chain, one that felt no threat from the fragile two-legged beings that walked the earth all around it. It hunted whenever it wanted, ate whatever it wanted, and flew wherever it wanted. It didn’t need to rip the plane apart to devour me.
Like my hunter-gatherer ancestors from thousands of years ago, I wasn’t even worth the energy it would take to pounce.
I’m hiding in the remains of the cockpit now, which is half-buried under the mud of the field, enough to shield the light from my screen so that thing doesn’t see it. My service only now came back, and it’s been over an hour since the winged beast started in on the dead bus. I don’t know when, or how I’m going to get out of here. I don’t know when anyone will even see this post, or if it will upload at all. My phone battery is almost dead, and at this point, I’m probably going to have to sleep among the corpses until daylight comes.
A dead man sleeping amongst friends.
If you live in the Noble County area in southeastern Ohio, be careful where you drive, fly, and boat. I don’t know if it’s possible to stumble into this strange place by ground, but if so, then these things are definitely headed your way.
If that happens . . . pray that they don’t find you.

Company Name	Title	City
Osprey Management	Seasonal Groundskeeper	Pine City
One Way Wireless Construction Inc	Minnesota Tower Foreman	Shakopee
One Way Wireless Construction Inc	Experienced Welder for Tower Modification	Shakopee
Woodhill Country Club	Irrigation/Spray Technician	Wayzata
Dunham's Sports	Key Team Leader	Albert Lea
Legacy Recruiting LLC	Class A CDL Truck Drivers Needed	Albert Lea
Eddie Bauer	Part Time Sales Associate - US	Albertville
Menards	Part-Time Sales	Alexandria
Central Network Retail Group, LLC	Frattallone's Hardware & Garden Center - Garden Center Associate	Andover
Presbyterian Homes & Services	Driver	Andover
Advanced Correctional Healthcare	Registered Nurse Site Manager RN	Anoka
Riverplace Counseling Center	Substance Use Disorder Technician (CD Tech)	Anoka
Wings Financial Credit Union	Senior Accountant	Apple Valley
Nystrom & Associates Ltd	Psychometrist	Apple Valley
Associated Clinic of Psychology	Mental Health Therapist - School Based	Apple Valley
Trafera LLC	Material Handler - Production	Arden Hills
Dunham's Sports	Team Manager	Baxter
Northern Psychiatric Associates	Psychiatrist	Baxter
Andersen Corporation	Supply Chain Manager 3	Bayport
Acme Tools	Retail Sales Associate - Daytime Hours; Sundays/Holidays Off!	Bemidji
Dunham's Sports	General Manager	Bemidji
Meadow Lane Rehabilitation and Healthcare center	Care Assistant	Benson
Nystrom Residential Treatment, LLC	Chemical Dependency Technician - Overnight	Big Lake
Dungarvin	Mental Health Program Director	Big Lake
NovaCare Rehabilitation	PRN Occupational Therapist Float- Blaine, MN	Blaine

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in mn. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

There are instincts that you develop when you’re a parent. If you don’t have any children it might be a little hard to understand. If you have a toddler, for example, and they’re in the other room and silent for more than a few seconds, there’s a good chance they’re up to no good. I take that back, most of the time they’re doing nothing, but you still have to check. You feel a compulsion to check. I don’t think it’s a learned skill, I think it’s an actual instinct.
Paleolithic parents who didn’t check on their toddlers every few minutes, just to double check that they weren’t being stalked by smilodons were unlikely to have grandchildren and pass on their genes. You just feel you need to check, like getting goosebumps, a compulsion. I suppose it’s the same reason little kids are always demanding you look at them and what they’re doing.
I think that instinct starts to atrophy as your kids grow. They start learning to do things for themselves, and before you know it, they’re after their own privacy, not your attention. I don’t think it ever goes away though. I expect, decades from now, my own grown kids will visit and bring my grandkids with them. And the second I hear a baby crying in the earliest morning hours, I’ll be alert and ready for anything, sure as any old soldier who hears his name whispered in the dark of night.
I felt that alarm just the other day. First time in years. My boy came home from riding bikes with a couple of his friends. I’m pretty sure they worked out a scam where they asked each of their parents for a different new console for Christmas, and now they spend their weekends traveling between the three houses so they can play on all of them.
We all live in a nice neighborhood. A newer development than the one I grew up in, same town though. It’s the kind of place where kids are always playing in the streets, and the cars all routinely do under 20. My wife and I make sure the kids have helmets and pads, and we’re fine with the boy going out biking with his friends, as long as they stay in the neighborhood.
You know, a lot of people in my generation take some weird sort of pride in how irresponsible we used to be when we were young. I never wore a helmet. Rode to places, without telling any adults, that we never should have ridden to. Me and my friends would make impromptu jumps off of makeshift ramps and try to do stupid tricks, based loosely on stunts we’d seen on TV. Other people my age seem to wax nostalgic for that stuff and pretend it makes them somehow better people. I don’t get it. Sometimes I look back and shudder. We were lucky we escaped with only occasional bruises and road burns. It could have gone so much worse.
My son and his buddies came bustling in the front door at about 2 PM on a Saturday. They did the usual thing of raiding the kitchen for juice and his mother’s brownies, and I took that as my cue to abandon the television in the living room for my office. I was hardly noticing the chaos, by this point, it was becoming a regular weekend occurrence. But as I was just leaving, I caught something in the chatter. My boy said something about, “... that guy who was following us.”
He hadn’t said it any louder or more clearly than anything else they’d been talking about, all that stuff I’d been filtering out. Yet some deeper core process in my brain stem heard it, interpreted it, then hit the red alert button. My blood ran cold and every hair on my skin stood at attention.
I turned around and asked “Somebody followed you? What are you talking about?” I wasn’t consciously aware of how strict and stern my voice came out, yet when the jovial smiles dropped off of their faces it was apparent that it had been so.
“Huh?” my son said, his voice high-pitched and talking fast, like when he thinks he’s in trouble and needs to explain. “We thought we saw somebody following us. There wasn’t though. We didn’t really see anybody and we’d just spooked ourselves.”
“What did he look like?” I asked.
“Nothing? We really didn’t see anybody! Honest! I just saw something out of the corner of my eye! But there wasn’t really nobody there!”
“Yeah!,” said one of his buds. “Peripheral! Peripheral vision! I thought maybe I saw something too, but when I looked I didn’t see anything. I don’t have my glasses with me, but when I really looked I got a good look and there was nothing.”
The three boys had that semi-smiling but still concerned look that this was only a bizarre misunderstanding, but they were still being very sincere. “Were they in a car?”
“No, Dad, you don’t get it,” my boy continued, “They were small. We thought it was a kid.”
“Yeah,” said the third boy. “We thought maybe it was Tony Taylor’s stupid kid sister shadowing us. Getting close to throwing water balloons. Just cause she did that before.”
“If you didn’t get a good look how did you know it was a kid?”
“Because it was small!” my kid explained, though that wasn’t helping much. “What I mean is, at first I thought it was behind a little bush. It was way too small a bush to hide a grown-up. That’s why we thought it was probably Tony’s sister.”
“But you didn’t actually see Tony’s sister?” I asked.
“Nah,” said one of his buds. “And now that I think about it, that bush was probably too small for his sister too. It would have been silly. Like when a cartoon character hides behind a tiny object.”
“That’s why we think it was just in our heads,” explained the other boy, “That and the pole.”
“Yeah,” my son said. “The park on 14th and Taylor?” That was just a little community park, a single city block. Had a playground, lawn, a few trees, and some benches. “Anyway, we were riding past that, took a right on Taylor. And we were talking about how weird it would be if somebody really were following us. That’s when Brian thought he saw something. Behind a telephone pole.”
“I didn’t get a good look at it either,” the friend, Brian, “explained. Just thought I did. Know how you get up late at night to use the bathroom or whatever and you look down the hallway and you see a jacket or an office chair or something and because your eyes haven’t adjusted you think you see a ghost or burglar or something? Anyway, I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned there wasn’t anything there.”
“Yeah, it was just like sometimes that happens, except this time it happened twice on the same bike ride, is all,” the other friend explained.
“And you’re sure there was nothing there?”
“Sure we’re sure,” my boy said. “We know because that time we checked. We each rode our bikes around the pole and there was nothing. Honest!”
“Hmmm,” I said. The whole thing seemed reasonable and nothing to be concerned about, you’d think.. The boys seemed to relax at my supposed acceptance. “Alright, sounds good. Hey, just let me know before you leave the house again, alright?” They all rushed to seem agreeable as I left the room, then quickly resumed their snacking and preceded to play their games.
I kept my ear out, just in case. My boy, at least this time, dutifully told me his friends were about to leave. He wasn’t very happy with me when I said they wouldn’t be riding home on their bikes, I was going to drive them home. The other boys didn’t complain, but I suppose it wasn’t their place, so my boy did the advocating for them, which I promptly ignored. I hate doing that, ignoring my kid’s talkback. My dad was the same way. It didn’t help that I struggled to get both of their bikes in the trunk, and it was a pain to get them back out again. My boy sulked in the front seat on the short ride back home. Arms folded on chest, eyes staring straight ahead, that lip thing they do. He seemed embarrassed for having what he thought was an over-protective parent. I suppose he was angry at me as well for acting, as far as he knew, irrationally. Maybe he thought he was being punished for some infraction he didn’t understand.
Well, it only got worse when we got home. I told him he wasn’t allowed to go out alone on his bike anymore. I’d only had to do that once before, when he was grounded, and back then he’d known exactly what he’d done wrong and he had it coming. Now? Well, he was confused, furious, maybe betrayed, probably a little brokenhearted? I can’t blame him. He tramped upstairs to his room to await the return of his mother, who was certain to give a sympathetic ear. I can’t imagine how upset he’ll be if he checks the garage tomorrow and finds I’ve removed his tires, just in case.
I wish I could explain it to him. I don’t even know how.
Where should I even begin? The town?
When I was about my son’s age I had just seen that movie, The Goonies. It had just come out in theaters. I really liked that movie, felt a strong connection. A lot of people do, can’t blame them, sort of a timeless classic. Except I wasn’t really into pirate’s treasure or the Fratellis, what really made me connect was a simple single shot, still in the first act. It’s right after they cross the threshold, and leave the house on their adventure. It was a shot of the boys, from above, maybe a crane shot or a helicopter shot, as they’re riding their bikes down a narrow forested lane, great big evergreen trees densely growing on the side of the road, they’re all wearing raincoats and the road is still wet from recent rain.
That was my childhood. I’ve spent my whole life in the Pacific Northwest. People talk to outsiders about the rain, and they might picture a lot of rainfall, but it’s not the volume, it’s the duration. We don’t get so much rain, it just drizzles slowly, on and on, for maybe eight or nine months out of the year. It doesn’t matter where I am, inside a house, traveling far abroad, anywhere I am I can close my eyes and still smell the air on a chilly afternoon, playing outdoors with my friends.
It’s not petrichor, that sudden intense smell you get when it first starts to rain after a long dry spell. No, this was almost the opposite, a clean smell, almost the opposite of a scent, since the rain seemed to scrub the air clean. The strongest scent and I mean that in the loosest sense possible, must have been the evergreen needles. Not pine needles, those were too strong, and there weren’t that many pines anyway. Douglas fir and red cedar predominated, again the root ‘domination’ seems hyperbole. Yet those scents were there, ephemeral as it is. Also, there was a sort of pleasant dirtiness to the smell, at least when you rode bikes. It wasn’t dirt, or mud, or dust. Dust couldn’t have existed except perhaps for a few fleeting weeks in August. I think, looking back, it was the mud puddles. All the potholes in all the asphalt suburban roads would fill up after rain with water the color of chocolate milk. We’d swerve our BMX bikes, or the knock-off brands, all the way across the street just to splash through those puddles and test our “suspensions.,” meaning our ankles and knees. The smell was always stronger after that. It had an earthiness to it. Perhaps it was petrichor’s lesser-known watery cousin.
There were other sensations too, permanently seared into my brain like grill marks. A constant chilliness that was easy to ignore, until you started working up a good heart rate on your bike, then you noticed your lungs were so cold it felt like burning. The sound of your tires on the wet pavement, particularly when careening downhill at high speed. For some reason, people in the mid-80s used to like to decorate their front porches with cheap, polyester windsocks. They were often vividly colored, usually rainbow, like prototype pride flags. When an occasional wind stirred up enough to gust, the windsocks would flap, and owning to the water-soaked polyester, make a wet slapping sound. It was loud, it was distinct, but you learned to ignore it as part of the background, along with the cawing of crows and distant passing cars.
That was my perception of Farmingham as a kid. The town itself? Just a typical Pacific Northwest town. That might not mean much for younger people or modern visitors, but there was a time when such towns were all the same. They were logging towns. It was the greatest resource of the area from the late 19th century, right up until about the 80s, when the whole thing collapsed. Portland, Seattle, they had a few things going on beyond just the timber industry, but all the hundreds of little towns and small cities revolved around logging, and my town was no exception.
I remember going to the museum. It had free admission, and it was a popular field trip destination for the local school system. It used to be the City Hall, a weird Queen Anne-style construction. Imagine a big Victorian house, but blown up to absurd proportions, and with all sorts of superfluous decorations. Made out of local timber, of course. They had a hall for art, I can’t even remember why, now. Maybe they were local artists. I only remember paintings of sailboats and topless women, which was a rare sight for a kid at the time. There was a hall filled with 19th-century household artifacts. Chamber pots and weird children's toys.
Then there was the logging section, which was the bulk of the museum. It’s strange how different things seemed to be in the early days of the logging industry, despite being only about a hundred years old, from my perspective in the 1980s. If you look back a hundred years from today, in the 1920s, you had automobiles, airplanes, electrical appliances, jazz music, radio programs, flappers, it doesn’t feel that far removed, does it? No TV, no internet, but it wouldn’t be that strange. 1880s? Different world.
Imagine red cedars, so big you could have a full logging crew, arms stretched out, just barely manage to encircle one for a photographer. Felling a single tree was the work of days. Men could rest and eat their lunches in the shelter of a cut made into a trunk, and not worry for safety or room. They had to cut their own little platforms into the trees many feet off the ground, just so the trunk was a little bit thinner, and thus hours of labor saved. They used those long, flexible two-man saws. And double-bit axes. They worked in the gloom of the shade with old gas lanterns. Once cut down from massive logs thirty feet in diameter, they’d float the logs downhill in sluices, like primitive wooden make-shift water slides. Or they’d haul them down to the nearest river, the logs pulled by donkeys on corduroy roads. They’d lay large amounts of grease on the roads, so the logs would slide easily. You could still smell the grease on the old tools on display in the museum. The bigger towns had streets where the loggers would slide the logs down greased skids all the way down to the sea, where they’d float in big logjams until the mills were ready for processing. They’d call such roads “skid-rows.” Because of all the activity, they’d end up being the worst parts of town. Local citizens wouldn’t want to live there, due to all the stink and noise. They’d be on the other side of the brothels and the opium dens. It would be the sort of place where the destitute and the insane would find themselves when they’d finally lost anything. To this day, “skidrow” remains a euphemism for the part of a city where the homeless encamp.
That was the lore I’d learned as a child. That was my “ancestry” I was supposed to respect and admire, which I did, wholeheartedly. There were things they left out, though. Things that you might have suspected, from a naive perspective, would be perfect for kids, all the folklore that came with the logging industry. The ghost stories, and the tall tales. I would have eaten that up. They do talk about that kind of thing in places far removed from the Pacific Northwest. But I had never heard about any of it. Things like the Hidebehind. No, that I’d have to discover for myself.
There were four of us on those bike adventures. Myself. Ralph, my best friend. A tough guy, the bad boy, the most worldly of us, which is a strange thing to say about an eight-year-old kid. India, an archetypal ‘80s tomboy. She was the coolest person I knew at the time. Looking back, I wonder what her home life was like. I think I remember problematic warning signs that I couldn’t have recognized when I was so young, but now raise flags. Then there was Ben. A goofy kid, a wild mop of hair, coke bottle glasses, type 1 diabetic which seemed to make him both a bit pampered by his mother, who was in charge of all his insulin, diet, and schedule, and conversely a real risk taker when she wasn’t around.
When we first saw it…
No, wait. This was the problem with starting the story. Where does it all begin? I’ll need to talk about my Grandfather as well. I’ve had two different perspectives on my Grandfather, on the man that he was. The first was the healthy able-bodied grandparent I’d known as a young child. Then there was the man, as I learned about him after he had passed.
There was a middle period, from when I was 6 to when I was 16, when I hardly understood him at all, as he was hit with a double whammy of both Parkinson’s and Alzheimer's. His decline into an invalid was both steep and long drawn out. That part didn’t reflect who he was as a person.
What did I know of him when I was little? Well I knew he and my grandmother had a nice big house and some farmland, out in the broad flat valley north of Farmingham. Dairy country. It had been settled by Dutch immigrants back in the homesteading days. His family had been among the first pioneers in the county too. It didn’t register to me then that his surname was Norwegian, not Dutch. I knew he had served in the Navy in World War II, which I was immensely proud of for reasons I didn’t know why. I knew he had a job as a butcher in a nearby rural supermarket. He was a bit of a farmer too, more as a hobby and a side gig. He had a few cattle, but mostly grew and harvested hay to sell to the local dairies. I knew he had turned his garage into a machine shop, and could fix damn near anything. From the flat tires on my bicycle to the old flat-bed truck he’d haul hay with, to an old 1950s riding lawnmower he somehow managed to keep in working order. I knew he could draw a really cool cartoon cowboy, I knew he loved to watch football, and I knew the whiskers on his chin were very pokey, and they’d tickle you when he kissed you on the cheek, and that when you tried to rub the sensation away he’d laugh and laugh and laugh.
Then there were the parts of his life that I’d learn much later. Mostly from odd passing comments from relatives, or things I’d find in the public records. Like how he’d been a better grandfather than a father. Or how his life as I knew it had been a second, better life. He’d been born among the Norwegian settler community, way up in the deep, dark, forest-shrouded hills that rimmed the valley. He’d been a logger in his youth. Technologically he was only a generation or two from the ones I’d learned about in the museum. They’d replaced donkeys with diesel engines and corduroy roads with narrow gauge rail. It was still the same job, though. Dirty, dangerous, dark. Way back into those woods, living in little logging camps, civilization was always a several-day hike out. It became a vulgar sort of profession, filled with violent men, reprobates, and thieves. When my grandfather’s father was murdered on his front porch by a lunatic claiming he’d been wronged somehow, my grandfather hiked out of there, got into town, and joined the Navy. He vowed never to go back. The things he’d seen out in those woods were no good. He’d kept that existence away from me. Anyways…
Tommy Barker was the first of us to go missing. I say ‘us’ as if I knew him personally. I didn’t. He went to Farmingham Middle School, other side of town, and several grades above us. From our perspective, he may as well have been an adult living overseas.
Yet it felt like we got to know him. His face was everywhere, on TV, all over telephone poles. Everybody was talking about him. After he didn’t return from a friend’s house, everybody just sort of assumed, or maybe hoped, that he’d just gotten lost, or was trapped somewhere. They searched all the parks. Backyards, junkyards, refrigerators, trunks. Old-fashioned refrigerators, back before suction seals, had a simple handle with a latch that opened when you pulled on it. It wasn’t a problem when the fridges were in use and filled with food. But by the 80s old broke-down refrigerators started filling up backyards and junkyards, and they became deathtraps for kids playing hide-and-seek. The only opened from the outside. I remember thinking Tommy Barker was a little old to have likely been playing hide-and-seek, but people checked everywhere anyway. They never found him.
That was about the first time we saw the Hidebehind. Ben said he thought he saw somebody following us, looked like, maybe, a kid. We’d just slowly huffed our way up a moderately steep hill, Farmingham is full of them, and when we paused for a breather at the top, Ben said he saw it down the hill, closer to the base. Yet when we turned to look there was nothing there. Ben said he’d just seen it duck behind a car. That wasn’t the sort of behavior of a random kid minding his own business. Yet the slope afforded us a view under the car’s carriage, and except for the four tires, there were no signs of any feet hiding behind the body. At first, we thought he was pulling our leg. When he insisted he wasn’t, we started to tease him a little. He must have been seeing things, on account of his poor vision and thick glasses. The fact that those glasses afforded him vision as good as or better than any of us wasn’t something we considered.
The next person to disappear was Amy Brooks. Fifth-grader. Next elementary school over. I remember it feeling like when you’re traveling down the freeway, and there’s a big thunderstorm way down the road, but it keeps getting closer, and closer. I don’t remember what she looked like. Her face wasn’t plastered everywhere like Tommy’s had been. She was mentioned on the regional news, out of Seattle, her and Tommy together. Two missing kids from the same town in a short amount of time. The implication was as obvious as it was depraved. They didn’t think the kids were getting lost anymore. They didn’t do very much searching of backyards. The narratives changed too. Teachers started talking a lot about stranger danger. Local TV channels started recycling old After School Specials and public service announcements about the subject.
I’m not sure who saw it next. I think it was Ben again. We took him seriously this time though. I think. The one I’m sure I remember was soon after, and that time it was India who first saw it. It’s still crystal clear in my memory, almost forty years later, because that was the time I first saw it too. We were riding through a four-way stop, an Idaho Stop before they called it that, when India slammed to a stop, locking up her coaster brakes and leaving a long black streak of rubber on a dry patch of pavement. We stopped quickly after and asked what the problem was. We could tell by her face she’d seen it. She was still looking at it.
“I see it,” she whispered, unnecessarily. We all followed her gaze. We were looking, I don’t know, ten seconds? Twenty? We believed everything she said, we just couldn’t see it.
“Where?” Ralph asked.
“Four blocks down,” she whispered. “On the left. See the red car? Kinda rusty?” There was indeed a big old Lincoln Continental, looking pretty ratty and worn. I focused on that, still seeing nothing. “Past that, just to its right. See the street light pole? It’s just behind that.”
We also saw the pole she was talking about. Metal. Aluminum, I’d have guessed. It had different color patches, like metallic flakeboard. Like it’d had been melted together out of scrap.
I could see that clearly even from that distance. I saw nothing behind it. I could see plenty of other things in the background, cars, houses, bushes, front lawns, beauty bark landscape.. There was no indication of anything behind that pole.
And then it moved. It had been right there where she said it had been, yet it had somehow perfectly blended into the landscape, a trick of perspective. We didn’t see it at all until it moved, and almost as fast it had disappeared behind that light pole. We only got a hint. Brown in color, about our height in size.
We screamed. Short little startled screams, the involuntary sort that just burst out of you. Then we turned and started to pedal like mad, thoroughly spooked. We made it to the intersection of the next block when it was Ralph who screeched to a halt and shouted, “Wait!”
We slowed down and stopped, perhaps not as eagerly as we’d done when India yelled. Ralph was looking back over his shoulder, looking at that metal pole. “Did anybody see it move again?’ he asked. We all shook our heads in the negative. Ralph didn’t notice, but of course, he didn’t really need an answer, of course we hadn’t been watching.
“If it didn’t move, then it’s still there!” Ralph explained the obvious. It took a second to sink in, despite the obvious. “C’mon!” he shouted, and to our surprise, before we could react, he turned and took off, straight down the road, straight to where that thing had been lurking.
We were incredulous, but something about his order made us all follow hot on his heels. He was a sort of natural leader. I thought it was total foolishness, but I wasn’t going to let him go alone. I think I got out, “Are you crazy?!”
The wind was blowing hard past our faces as we raced as fast as we could, it made it hard to hear. Ralph shouted his response. “If it’s hiding that means its afraid!” That seemed reasonable, if not totally accurate. Lions hide from their prey before they attack. Then again, they don’t wait around when the whole herd charges. Really, the pole was coming up so fast there wasn’t a whole lot of time to argue. “Just blast past and look!” Ralph added. “We’re too fast! It won’t catch us.”
Sure, I thought to myself. Except maybe Ben, who always lagged behind the rest of us in a race. The lion would get Ben if any of us.
We rushed past that pole and all turned our heads to look. “See!” Ralph shouted in triumph. There was simply nothing there. A metal streetlight pole and nothing more. We stopped pedaling yet still sped on. “Hang on,” Ralph said, and at the next intersection he took a fast looping curve that threatened to crash us all, but we managed and curved behind him. We all came to the pole again where we stopped to see up close that there was nothing there, despite what we had seen moments before.
“Maybe it bilocated,” Ben offered. We groaned. We were all thinking it, but I think we were dismissive because it wasn’t as cool a word as ‘teleport.”
“Maybe it just moved when we weren’t looking,” I offered. That hadn’t been long, but that didn’t mean anything if it moved fast. The four of us slowly looked up from the base of the pole to our immediate surroundings. There were bushes. A car in a carport covered by a tarpaulin. The carport itself. Garbage cans. Stumps. Of course the ever-present trees. Whatever it was it could have been hiding behind anything. Maybe it was. We looked. Maybe it would make itself seen. None of us wanted that. “OK, let’s get going,” Ralph said, and we did so.
I got home feeling pretty shaken that afternoon. I felt safe at home. Except for the front room, which had a big bay window looking out onto the street, and the people who lived across it. There were plenty of garbage cans and telephone poles and stumps that a small, fast thing might hide behind. No, I felt more comfortable in my bedroom. There was a window, but a great thick conical cypress tree grew right in front of it, reaching way up over the roof of the house. If anything, it offered ME a place to hide, and peer out onto the street to either side of the tree. It was protective, as good as any heavy blanket.

I gotta say, I just rented an Airbnb for my family "mom and stepmom and little brother from Michigan, Sister and her husband and my Neice and Nephew from Georgia, and Sister from Florida and Brother and his wife from Florida, me and my girlfriend" for 4 days, Thursday - Monday for the holiday weekend...It was excellent as always. Sadly, my first time since the pandemic era so it was great to be back.
My ranking has changed a bit now that I'm back here in Los Angeles. So without further adieu, here it is:

1. Maverick
2. Steel Vengeance
3. Millennium Force
4. Raptor
5. Gatekeeper
6. Magnum XL200
7. Wild Mouse
8. Valravyn
9. Blue Streak
10. Gemini
11. Rougaru
12. Iron Dragon
13. CC Mine Ride

I'm gonna stop right there since Woodstock Express, Wilderness Run, and Pipe Scream are children's rides.
So my list surprised me. Last time I was there was 2018, and my list looked like this:

1. Steel Vengeance
2. Maverick
3. Raptor
4. Top Thrill Dragster
5. Gatekeeper
6. Millennium Force
7. Valravyn
8. Magnum XL200
9. Gemini
10. Blue Streak
11. Rougaru
12. Iron Dragon
13. CC Mine Ride

Which has led me to a couple of conclusions.

1. Something new really does make a difference. - I absolutely adore STeVe. It is an incredible ride and one of my favs in the world...however, with the newness worn off, I realize that Maverick simply blew me away all over again as if it was my first time riding it. I really thought Maverick would move down my list actually with Velocicoaster in the picture on my domestic list.
2. Great storylines absolutely magnify the experience. - Maverick is about trying to tame a wild mustang that you find and that's why right when you hop on it, "the station" it immediately starts running and tries to buck you off "the 95 degree drop". Then, it literally tries to get rid of you the entire time LOL. It's an incredible ride. My only complaint of it and still my only complaint as a 6'3" man, is they should put a 1 inch cushion on that hard plastic because it still crushes my balls horribly lol. But man, it just hurts so good lololol. With STeVe, it's got a cool story, but the reality is the better story would've been the ride is basically trying to drag you to hell...because that's what it feels like, the exact opposite of Maverick trying to get rid of you, that thing wants to drag you through all of your nightmares lol. Amazing ride with so-so theming.
3. Raptor is absolutely the best inverted B&M in America. There's simply no doubt about it. I've been on all the North American inverts and Raptor is just a monster. It's intense as hell and that first drop is EXTREMELY unique. I don't know if people catch the subtle "locking in to place" that happens on the first drop but it doesn't just turn left and drop, it turns left dramatically and then right a bit and then left ever so slightly before locking into the drop...it genuinely feels like a bird flying and again, the theming and story being followed by the ride matters. Incredible.
4. TTD fell of the list for obvious reasons, but something tells me it will be a top 5 again and depending on how much new coaster Intamin is adding to it, it could very well end up top 3.
5. The beauty of Gatekeeper will never change. There's nothing more majestic than the clean and dead gorgeous shine of 2 shades of blue with the sun reflecting so brightly off of it at the front of the park, with such a flowing and gorgeous layout. The ride isn't powerful, or scary, or anything at all. You are jumping on the back of a dragon and gliding around the front of the park and it's just so smooth and beautiful.
6. Sometimes power simply wins. - Millennium Force moved up my list again. I couldn't figure out why...then I realized it. Last time I was there, I got one ride on it and it was in the front row. It felt slower and the drop didn't feel all that thrilling. This time, I was in the back...and HOLY COW. The way that thing rips you over the top and just floors it is unmatched in the park. It feels incredible and it's such a long drop. And the way it keeps that same energy through it's layout...it feels amazing WHIPPING through that overbooked turn with all that speed coming out of the first drop. Just powerful, fast, and fun. The layout could do more, but that's not what this ride was about when it opened, and to be the first 300+ ft coaster in the world, it did what it was supposed to do, and did so majestically.
7. Magnum XL200 - Nostalgia is truly a trip. Magnum is another ride, like Gatekeeper, that just defines the skyline on the backside of the park. That majestic red/orange with the sunlight beaming off of it will never really be topped. Going over the waterpark and gliding violently on the edge of the park is a super fun "and painful" ride! And that pain comes from Magnum being one of the final coasters in the world to be built WITHOUT the help of computer precision...gives it that rough edge, which has become a part of it's character.
8. Something small can still be something insane. - Wild Mouse...wow. You just never know what you're going to get on this one. I was heartbroken when they tore down Wicked Twister...but knowing they're adding a spike probably added to their decision...and I have to admit, Wild Mouse is a fantastic replacement here. It looks absolutely gorgeous on the new boardwalk, as does the entire boardwalk for that matter, and the ride itself...I got 7 rides on it and not a single one was the same...it was so damn fun though every time and the times when it started spinning violently out of control were downright terrifying! Great ride, for newbies and veterans alike.
9. Valravyn - The theming on Valravyn is simply perfect, and it's such a chill ride outside of that monster of a first drop...let alone a drop coaster with elements that aren't typically found on this genre of coaster...sudden turns, airtime hills...just a great layout and perfect placement in the park.
10. Blue Streak and Gemini have the same thing going for them as Magnum and even Raptor to a degree...nostalgia. As a child, Blue Streak and Gemini were two of my first coasters when I was 6 years old, and they both ride just as well as they did back then in the 80's. Blue Streak has been SO WELL TAKEN CARE OF...it is a ridiculously beautiful ride and doesn't look at all like the oldest ride in the park, and doesn't ride like it either. Tons of airtime and just a fantastic throwback for people who haven't experienced or miss the simplicity of traditional out and back coasters.
11. Gemini is exactly the same for me...there was a ride in front of it my sister and I loved doing right after it called the Witches Wheel...curious how many of y'all remember that :P But anyway, the idea of racing with people is so damn fun and clapping hands with the people on the other train will never not be extremely fun. No real thrills or tickles or anything at all about it...but just pure childish fun. The kind of ride a kid remembers for the rest of his life just for the fun they had.
12. Rougaru is admittedly FAR BETTER of a ride than Mantis was and I always said they should put the flourless trains on that track and it rides great. I won't go over CC Mine Ride and Iron Dragon, but I will say this about Rougaru which is bottom of my list basically...Rougaru could be the best ride in ALOT of parks, and it's the bottom of my list at Cedar Point. CP is a hell of a park, and has been almost every summer of my entire life. No place like it.

What are your lists? Also, for those wondering, here's my top 10 for ALL domestic coasters I've been on in America:

1. Maverick - CP
2. Velocicoaster - USO
3. Steel Vengeance - CP
4. Guardians of the Galaxy - WDW Epcot
5. Hagrids Motorbikes - USO
6. Millennium Force - CP
7. The Voyage - HW
8. Arie Force One - FSG
9. lightning Rod (interchangeable with AFO depending on how it's riding)
10. Iron Gwazi - BGT

Basketball on Naismith Island is a game of 40 minutes. If you don't play all 40, you can lose a winnable game. See below.
*****
#1 UCLA 80, #8 Michigan 77. Every defensive positioning matters; every play matters; every call matters. It's how you remain the #1 team in the land.
Bill Walton took a charging foul from Chris Webber with 12 seconds left, then sealed the game after being fouled on the inbound, as the Bruins (11-0) stole one from the Wolverines (9-2) to run their winning streak to 48 games in a row.
"I don't know what the complaint is. I had the position, I was far enough away from the basket, and I kept myself still. Chris [Webber] ran into me. It was the right call," Walton claimed.
While block/charge calls will always be controversial, it helped that the result of the collision took Webber's shot off-line. This wasn't a case of Michigan losing the lead on the call; reverse it, and Webber would have gone to the line down one. Still, the feelings of coming close and being so far resonated in the Michigan locker room.
"You can't do that -- you can't make that call," Webber griped after the game. "You gotta let us play, man."
Walton led all scorers with 18 points; Juwan Howard led Michigan with 17.
#3 Kentucky 82, #5 Kansas 81, OT. Wilt Chamberlain has never fouled out. Critics would say that stat plays too heavily in his mind at crucial points in the game -- that if you get a fourth foul on him, he becomes weaker on defense and passive when he should be going for blocks.
Is that what happened here? Obviously we'll never know, but the talk will become louder.
Anthony Davis' dunk over Chamberlain -- whose block attempt seemed to be a product of hesitation -- provided the difference with 1.2 seconds left as the Wildcats (10-1) took out the Jayhawks (9-2) after 45 minutes of end-to-end action.
"Coach [Adolph] Rupp told us that late in games, you could go to the rim," Davis said after the game as Kentucky fans swarmed him. "I didn't know how many fouls anyone had, I just knew that we were one down and the best chance I had was to get inside and dunk it down. I was able to do that, and we won the game as a result."
For his part, Chamberlain denied that his four fouls affected the final play. "I thought I had an angle to block it, but I wouldn't have gotten my hands there in time. I was out of position trying to guard [Dan] Issel on the final play. That's not how you zone."
Chamberlain had a monster game, putting up 19 points, 10 rebounds, 7 assists, and 3 blocks. But it's another number that everyone will focus on -- 4, his foul total for the game.
John Wall led Kentucky with 15 points.
#4 Duke 73, #6 Michigan State 71. A common joke through the years has been that it just isn't a Duke season until they make someone hate them by ripping their proverbial hearts out.
Done.
Kyrie Irving's three-pointer as time expired silenced the partisan Michigan State crowd and lifted the Blue Devis (9-2) to a bounceback win over the Spartans (8-3) in a game both teams sorely wanted for different reasons.
"We needed that win, man," Duke forward Grant Hill, who led all scorers with 16 points, said after the game. "You come off a loss, you're facing an even tougher team, you gotta dig down deep. This was a gut check. We got what we needed."
Irving's last-second heroics -- or villainy, depending on whom you ask -- wiped out an incredible performance from Spartan guard Scott Skiles. With Jason Richardson in foul trouble and Magic Johnson as a shooting guard, Skiles turned back the clock and put up 11 assists to go with his 7 points. He found Johnson (14 points) with 7 seconds to go for the sky hook over Elton Brand that gave Michigan State a 71-70 lead and sent the crowd into a deafening roar.
That roar would go eerily quiet soon after.
*****
Elsewhere...
#25 Illinois 87, #12 Connecticut 70. Eddie Johnson had been hearing noise from the Auburn faithful saying he was an impostor and that the "real" Eddie Johnson resided on the Plains. Your move, Auburn.
Johnson stunned and thrilled the crowd by putting up 27 points with the help of seven three-pointers as the Fighting Illini (9-2) stole one from the Huskies (8-3), who had no answer on defense for Johnson's hot hand.
"Incredible," Huskies coach Jim Calhoun said while shaking his head at the post-game press conference. "I don't think I've seen something like that in some time. We knew [Derek] Harper could cause trouble, and I figured we had Red [Kerr] contained, but sometimes it's the last guy you expect."
As Connecticut attempted to double-team the red-hot Johnson, he made the passes needed to keep Illinois on track. Meyers Leonard was a major recipient of those passes, ending with 15 points of his own.
Cliffy Robinson led the Huskies with 16 points.
#2 North Carolina 101, #22 Florida 56. Note to self: never, ever, ever, EVER face Michael Jordan coming off of a close loss. Ever.
Jordan, who when given the green light is almost unbeatable, scored 33 points and had 10 assists as the Tar Heels (9-2) gave a rude welcome to the Top 25 to the Gators (8-3), disheartening the Florida crowd and leaving coach Billy Donovan without answers.
"You know, when you look up at the scoreboard and it's the first half and there you are down 30, 35 points... you try to tell your team to take it one possession at a time, but you know they're thinking about how big that hill is to climb and how close they are to the point of no return," Donovan said. "We spent the second half trying to get our plays in order so that when SEC season began, we wouldn't run into this trouble."
Jordan, for his part, wanted to make a statement in this game. With 6 minutes left in the second half, Jordan even seemed to refuse to come out of the game, much to his substitute Vince Carter's chagrin. Eventually Dean Smith called a timeout to remind Jordan who the coach was.
"Michael's competitive, and we usually like that," Smith said after the game. "Usually."
#9 Notre Dame 78, #11 Ohio State 68. Is Digger Phelps on pace to be a Coach of the Year? He has to be the leader at this point.
With John Havlicek off to a hot start, Phelps went to a bigger lineup, moving Austin Carr to point guard and bringing LaPhonso Ellis in to stop Havlicek's slashing to the hoop. It paid off: only two of Havlicek's 22 points came in the second half as the Irish (9-2) stormed back to beat the Buckeyes (8-3).
"Coach asked me to step up, and I was able to today," Ellis said after the game. "You're facing a tough lineup like that, and you gotta hope for the best. I was able to come through for the team."
Ohio State led 40-33 at the half, but a monumental turnaround began when the Irish cut off Ohio State's top scorer. From there, Adrian Dantley took over, getting 17 of his 22 points in the second stanza -- a near mirror of Havlicek.
"Whatever I said at halftime I need to bottle, don't I?" Phelps joked after the game.
#15 Southern Cal 64, #7 Syracuse 55. Both teams went to a zone defense to unsettle the opposing outside shooters and cut down the passing lanes. It worked, but one team found just enough offense to put themselves over the top.
Bill Sharman's 15 points led all scorers as Syracuse missed 22 of 25 three-point attempts and the Trojans (9-2) knocked off the Orange (8-3) in a game meant for the basketball purists.
"We got them to use almost all of the shot clock on every possession," Sharman said after the game. "When you get a lead, you gotta play airtight defense. I've talked to the guys about being ready to give 110% on both sides of the ball, and it worked tonight."
The first half of this game proved to be a war of attrition. Syracuse missed all 11 of their three-point attempts, while Southern Cal committed four different violations of the 30-second shot clock. The teams went into the locker room tied at 24.
"We need to forget this game as soon as possible," admitted Orange guard Dave Bing, who had 12 points. Carmelo Anthony finished with 10, but on 1-12 shooting from outside the arc.
#18 LSU 66, #19 Georgetown 57. The anticipated matchup was between big men Shaquille O'Neal and Patrick Ewing Sr. That matchup was a battle of the bulls, but it was the shooting guard matchup we should've watched.
Pete Maravich had 21 points, outscoring Allen Iverson by 10, while O'Neal and Ewing had 16 points each. That was the difference, more or less, as the Tigers (8-3) knocked off the Hoyas (7-4) in a bruising clash between two power teams.
Coach Dale Brown was happy with his team's performance after the game. "It was a slow game, it was a half-court game, but we still found the outside shooting we needed to make it work," he told reporters. "It was necessary that we get this win -- I believe we can make noise in the SEC."
Hoyas forward Alonzo Mourning was frustrated all day by Bob Pettit cutting off passing lanes and keeping him from getting the ball. In the end, Mourning had only 7 points.
"I don't know how he did it," he said. "That guy's so underrated, man."
*****
Meanwhile, in our featured game...
#17 DePaul 107, Rhode Island 77. In a surprise move before the game, coach Ray Meyer sat George Mikan and went small-ball, having Terry Cummings take the tip and Quentin Richardson join the starting five. It paid off big-time.
Richardson had 9 points, but he opened others to thrive in an up-tempo game as Mark Aguirre put up 25 points and the Blue Demons (8-3) established the pecking order over the upstart Rams (7-4), surviving their speedier style and winning in it.
Rhode Island coach Frank Keaney was disappointed, but not worried. "Our style is something we practice every day. When the time comes, we'll be ready to steal games with it. We need games like this to show our guys how much work they still have left to do if they want a postseason bid."
Sly Williams led the Rams with 16 points.
*****
HOW THE TOP 25 FARED

1. UCLA 80, 8. Michigan 77
2. North Carolina 101, 22. Florida 56
3. Kentucky 82, 5. Kansas 81, OT
4. Duke 73, 6. Michigan State 71
5. Kansas 81, 3. Kentucky 82, OT
6. Michigan State 71, 4. Duke 73
7. Syracuse 55, 15. Southern Cal 64
8. Michigan 77, 1. UCLA 80
9. Notre Dame 78, 11. Ohio State 68
10. Indiana 85, West Virginia 64
11. Ohio State 68, 9. Notre Dame 78
12. Connecticut 70, 25. Illinois 87
13. Texas 92, Oregon State 56
14. Arizona 92, Iowa State 58
15. Southern Cal 64, 7. Syracuse 55
16. Maryland 82, South Carolina 65
17. DePaul 107, Rhode Island 77
18. LSU 66, 19. Georgetown 57
19. Georgetown 57, 18. LSU 66
20. Minnesota 74, Detroit Mercy 66
21. Alabama 73, Wichita State 63
22. Florida 56, #2 North Carolina 101
23. Iowa 71, Clemson 65
24. UNLV 105, Old Dominion 67
25. Illinois 87, 12. Connecticut 70

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Capital One	Director of Change Management	Chicago
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Mercedes-Benz of Chicago	Mercedes-Benz of Chicago Parts Runner	Chicago
Lawson Products	Senior Business Analyst-SAP Warehouse Management	Chicago
RelaDyne	Warehouse Shipping & Receiving	Chicago Heights
Gpac	Cold Storage / Warehouse Project Manager	Chicago Heights
Copart	Yard Supervisor - 081	Chicago Heights
Abbott Laboratories	Clerk 1 Warehousing	North Chicago

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in chicago. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Welcome to Green Valley

Four Merry Jaunts Through the Bumpkin Quest Campaign

CHAPTER 1: Green Tide Spring Cleaning time! This includes a parade, a festival, and a temple ceremony. These events are haunted by and angry goose hating enchanted broom.
CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens Folks need to eat. And round here they like to eat massive angry chickens. Somebody's gotta deliver them, and that somebody is your players!
CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent Simple problems require convoluted solutions. Help Marvin enchant a plow that can pass through stones. What could go wrong?
CHAPTER 4: High Society After earning some respect the players get invited to a high falutin social dilly do. But not as guests. As the help. And this party is gonna need it! The entertainment is about to become a mesmerizing problem.
ADVENTURE MECHANICS - Target Character Level: Commoners or Level 1 - Target Party Size: Four Players - Average Adventure Playtime: 2ish Hours - Tone: Rural Mayhem and Foolishness
Grab the Free PDF Here. https://www.patreon.com/posts/adventure-to-83830560
I’ve also put these adventures into our *Bumpkin Quest: Campaign Guide https://www.patreon.com/posts/guide-bumpkin-to-80202231 The guide fills in the details of Green Valley pretty thoroughly. The quests are simple enough to be run in any setting you choose, but if you're interested in more the Guide has about two dozen Custom Maps, 70+ NPCs, Location Descriptions, 20+ Local Legends, and Scores of Adventure and Event Ideas. You can grab the PDF Free at the link above.

Hills Furrow

At the center of the Valley sits a patch of small grassy hills, through which the Slow Water meanders through. Built into these hills is the Village of Hills Furrow. Celebrated by everyone living in The Valley and boasting a whopping population of almost 150, Hills Furrow is the center of commerce and social importance. Well, at least as far as the locals are concerned. Realistically it would be less than a blip on the grand scale of things, a mere kernel of wheat in the silo of civilization, but to those who live here, there is nothing quite like living in the “city”.
The Village itself, like the Valley, is predominantly Halfling, and their fancy dwellings are burrowed into the hillsides as often as possible. These dwellings have been family owned for generations only becomeing available if there are no heirs to pass them along to. Other folk live in well kept two story shingled buildings, most of which house a business on the lower floor and house the Shopkeepers and their families above their workplaces, though a few live in nearby homes. There aren’t many “rental” spaces in town, as property is usually bought up quickly by the Halfling Families, but there are long term options at either of the Inns in town.
Hills Furrow: Locations 1) The Crocked Crow (Inn and Tavern) 2) The Dancing Lamb (Inn and Tavern) 3) The Moaning Toad (Tavern) 4) Granny's Groceries (General Market) 5) Get Nailed (Hardware and Distilery) 6) Gimdurh's Hammer (Smithy) 7) Brenra's Mechanicals (Tinker) 8) Hjoldren's Home Goods (Carpenter) 9) Standard Industries (Office) 10) Fit to be Dyed (Tailor) 11) The Last Loaf (Baker) 12) The Cloudy Cleaver (Butcher) 13) Nature's Medecine (Apothecary) 14) Sheriff's Office 15) Green Valley School House 16) The Waterwheel 17) The Windmill 18) The Undercloak Estate 19) Truefoot Burrow 20) The Meadows Family Hill
The locals are hospitable and friendly enough, but they do not really trust outsiders. Folks from foreign places are good for trade, news, and little else. Those that come through are treated well enough as long as they don’t wear out their welcome. Locals, well, that’s a bit of a different story. The city and area doesn’t operate under a written caste system or social structure, but there is clearly a pecking order, and family heritage matters a great deal to folks in Hills Furrow. Most locals, whether they’ve gotten an education or not, can easily be classified as simple. It isn’t that they are slow of mind or unintelligent, but more that they are unconcerned with matters the outside world considers important. This sentiment has created a general, but friendly, dislike between those that consider themselves Highfalutin and those that clearly are not.
Well now that I've given you the fifty cent tour. Shall we get on to adventure?

CHAPTER 1: Green Tide

We will open our journeys in the Green Valley at Green Tide, the annual celebration of Winter’s End. This adventure is designed to give a tour of Hills Furrow and introduce them to the locals. It will begin with some chores around their house to prepare for the festival and end with a battle involving an enchanted broom. If you did not do Session Zero, this chapter may take a bit longer as we get to know everyone and their characters.

ACT 1: Pre-Festival

The locals spend the week cleaning out their houses and farms. They gather old junk and unused items to be used later in the festival. They also begin preparing what food is left from winter to be used in a celebration and feasts.
Things to do! - Have the Players clean up junk around the house - Have them Find something strange (Perhaps used for a later mystery?) - Have them Decorate their Broom - Have them run a Household Errand (Meet an NPC)

ACT 2: Sweeping Day

A merry festival celebrating Spring cleaning and putting the past behind them. They form a parade, with one member from each house carrying a brightly decorated broom and using it to symbolically “Sweep Away Winter”. The rest of the family marches their winter’s trash and unused goods down to the Fairgrounds. The goods are often traded, while the trash is piled in the fire pit to await burning later. The entire day is filled with fun outdoor activities. Households also symbolically bring their problems to the bonfires to burn them later.
Things to do! - March in the Parade - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals
EVENT: I Love a Parade
The parade will march North from near the Cross Roads in the South up around the hill and back again to the South where it will head for the Fairgrounds. There isn’t anything particularly challenging about this event, but it would be a wonderful place to start leaning into or building local rivalries.
EVENT: Never Seen a Broom Do That… As they come into the home stretch of the Parade one of the local’s Brooms will animate and take off. It will chase folks around the parade. The players can attempt to stop it, but the broom will flee soon after being attacked. It will fly up into the air, attack a flock of geese, and chase them off until it can’t be seen anymore. They can go and collect a fallen goose if they wish. I highly recommend giving it a motorcycle type sound as it flies around hitting folks. Maybe even going as far as giving it a rough gravel angry voice and letting it insult people.

ACT 3: Winter’s End

Winter’s End is a Combination of Groundhog’s Day and Fasnacht, this day gets a little wild. The Festival kicks off at dawn with the Great Gopher Hunt. Gophers are well known spies for The Voice of Winter and thus need to be hunted before they can tell The Voice to delay Spring. Gophers themselves are quite tasty, and are notoriously bad for crops, so this works out economically all around. Throughout the rest of the day families continue to contribute to the Bonfire Pile which often gets quite large. At dusk a large effigy of The Voice of Winter is placed on top of the pile. Once the sun has fully set they light the fire and burn the Effigy. Folk usually dress darkly during the day and brightly at night. After the burning they feast on sweets and treats that were made from goods saved up from winter storage.
Things to do! - The Great Gopher Hunt - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals - The Fairground’s Activities
EVENT: The Great Gopher Hunt The Hunt begins at dawn and takes place all over the Valley. Locals race to collect as many Gophers as possible. It is easiest to kill the Gopher, but there are some that find that distasteful. Instead they live trap the critters. It is a bit tougher to do so, but an option should your players wish. This is most easily played out as a series of appropriate Skill Checks, in which the higher they score the more gophers they obtain.
EVENT: Trash Removal They may find some locals willing to pay them to help cart junk down to the bonfire pile. Not a lot of skill involved in this, but it is a great opportunity to meet locals, and you could throw a runaway cart at them.
Fair Activities They will probably want to take part in Fairground Activities. Players love these types of challenges. Here are a few ideas you can build on. - Axe Throwin: Basic attack rolls on a Round Target. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Bow Shootin: Basic attack rolls on Moving Targets. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Pig Chasin: Catch the greased Pig! Medium DC Challenge requiring three success before three Failures. - Mud Wrastlin: Nothing says bumpkin like a good Mud Wrastlin Pit. Contested Skill Challenges. - Sausage Eating Contest: Increasingly difficult DC Challenge. Eat till you puke! Can also be Pies or Ribs or Little Fish… you know whatever someone wants to stuff dozens of in their gullet. - Tug O’War: Team Strength Challenge. Three to Five Contested Rolls with opposing teams. - Gopher BBQ Cook Off: A Hard Culinary Challenge to see who can BBQ the best Gopher! - Races: Foot and Mount Races based on Three to Five Contested Rolls. I usually include a few odd mounts like a Giant Chicken or some such nonsense.

ACT 4: Day of Ashes

The Day of Ashes is a day of rest, recovery, and reflection. Locals take the ashes from the bonfires and rub their hands in them to symbolize the end of a hard year’s work and hardships of the past. The day ends with a large family feast, typically Pork. Activities this day are light, but many folks head to the Temple for the Calling of Spring Blessings. They put on their fancies and head down to ask forgiveness for over-indulging in the festival and for worship. Well sort of…
Unfortunately, a lot of folks take this as an opportunity to peacock about and practice their one-upmanship over other locals. If you’re looking for inspiration for their outfits look to older photos of the Kentucky Derby. Over the years this troubling practice has caused more than one fight to break out after the service.
*Things to do! * - Go to Temple and Meet More Locals - Pick a Local Patron!
EVENT: Temple Services The majority of the town comes to Temple on this day. The service is usually longer, and a bit more “Where have most of you been all year?” But otherwise it is a call for the Divine Blessings to touch their crops and protect their lives. It ends with a ceremony in which the locals put their hands into the ashes from yesterday’s bonfire. Once services end they will head outside, where the trouble will begin. Two of the wealthier families will get into it with each other. Starting with a couple of veiled insults, probably before service and continuing afterward. If one of your players is from a local Rich Folk family then they can be right in the middle of it all, otherwise they will have to pick a side. This choice will determine their house Patron moving forward. Tension will increase until folks start drawing up sides, and then someone will throw a rotten tomato at one of the House Matrons. That will blow the lid off the incident and a yokel brawl will break out. For comedy purposes I recommend the instant appearance of several food carts filled with expired products, and maybe a six year old hustler selling big sticks for wacking folks with. As the locals brawl call for perception checks. Who ever rolls highest begins to hear… The Broom returning!
ENCOUNTER: Stick In The Eye The broom returns ready to whoop some ash. It will be absolutely bent on cleaning anyone and everyone who is even the slightest bit dirty! If it successfully attacks a character they will have to make a Strength Saving throw or be knocked to the ground and swept clean by the broom. As this would be an awful omen for the year folks are terrified and will be running around screaming. Absolute mass hysteria. If the players were lucky enough to hear it coming they can avoid being surprised by the broom. Otherwise the broom will get a full round to attack before they have a chance to do anything. They’ll have to beat the broom into submission any way they can before it sweeps the whole town into chaos!

CLOSING

After defeating the broom things will settle back down again. Bumpkins are quick to return to normal when things go awry. However, they will have gotten the attention of one of the Wealthy Families in the area and be offered jobs. Which family is really, based on what will work best for them and you as the DM. For gags you might be tempted to have the Yokels pick them up, but that is a hard bit to sustain, and you may be better served keeping them on the side as a comic foil rather than up front. Completely up to you. The session should end with them being invited to meet their new patron tomorrow someplace important.

CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens

After successfully defeating the Enchanted Broom, our Bumpkins have gained the attention of a possible local Patron. This individual has summoned them to a nearby farm to discuss future work. That work includes proving themselves capable and not just lucky.

ACT 1: Meet the Boss

In this Act the players will meet with their new patron, one of the Family Heads, who that is entirely depends on their choices from the last game. This entire side branch is designed to flavor the background of the campaign, but if you’d rather just have them stay freelancing and independent that’s fine as well. There is also the possibility of “competing” offers should they have second thoughts for any reason. Once they arrive at the meeting spot their Patron will ask them some questions about their ambitions (Class Goals), they will then hand them off to their new “boss” who will assign them their task. They will take them to a nearby barn.
NPC: “Boss” Needs a fitting name for the Family they work for... Character wise, what we got here is a standard “Ranch Foreman” character. They’re tough, A little mean, and completely loyal to their employer. They almost certainly chew tobacco (by the handful), have a tattoo of the Ranch’s Brand, and know where all the bodies are buried. They also have a huge and obvious scar on the side of their head where a Giant Chicken pecked a hole in their skull, so they’re not as bright as they used to be, not at all truthfully. Nor are they actually the Foreman anymore, but no one has a heart to tell them. They’ve been quietly downgraded to Chicken Handler, which is something they seem to remember quite well, but the brain damage keeps them from realizing all that. They can be found wandering the Farm giving strange orders to other Hands. These Hands nod politely and then go back to what they are doing.
Things To Do! - Meet Their Patron - Discuss Their Future - Meet Their New “Boss”

ACT 2: Chicken Dance

Boss will lead them into the odd looking barn. This building is filled with Giant Chickens. These two-three foot fouls have extremely exaggerated features, spiky looking beaks with sharp tooth like edges, big darting eyes, bumpy cracked skin, long gnarled talons, and dirty mottled feathers. They’re more beast than bird. But, they’re good for eatin! These creatures should have a stat block similar to an Axe Beak. When the players enter into the Barn the Chickens will go nuts, obviously deeply bothered by the intrusion. Boss will throw in some deer haunches and the birds will tear them apart in a feeding frenzy. They will then put on a Chicken Suit and begin a flapping dance. (Google Magnificent Riflebird) It should be absolutely captivating and the chickens will become mesmerized, watching every move. Boss will then load two dozen chickens onto a large wagon and lock it. They will have the players push the wagon out while he keeps the Chickens calm. Once outside they’ll hang heavy tarps on the sides of the wagon, and remove the suit. He will then explain to them that they need to keep the tarps on the wagon, and keep the birds well fed, or the chickens will get restless and become violent. When they do need to interact with them someone will have to wear the suit and dance to keep them calm. The bigger the person in the suit the better. Boss will then give them a Map of Green Valley and instruct them to drop off two chickens at each of the outer settlements. They have two days to get this done.
Things To Do! - Head into the barn - Witness The Dance of The Chicken - Push the Wagon out - Get the Costume and Delivery Instructions

ACT 3: Bumpy Roads

They will be off to deliver the Chickens to various locations. There is no specific order to this delivery, they just need to pick a route and go. If they’re short on time they can take the country roads that lead between the outer settlements, but these aren’t as well kept as the main roads are. Whatever road they take and wherever they decide to stop for the night there are problems they will encounter along the way. You can make them random or pick the ones that best suit your players. Most of these should at some point require someone putting on the suit and dancing for the chickens to keep them calm. I would also increase the difficulty of each event. If they fail a dance the Chickens will become restless and start attacking the cart until they are calmed down. Too many failures and the wagon’s cage will break and the remaining chickens escape. They will then have to be rounded up and the cage repaired.
Things to Do! - Decide the delivery route - Deliver the chickens - Keep the Chickens calm
Possible Road Events 1) Rough roads cause problems 2) Yokels attempt to see what’s in the cart 3) Bad Weather swamps the road or scares the chickens 4) Pack of Coyotes causes trouble. 5) Chicken Rustlers! Protect the Flock! 6) Wagon breaks and needs repair 7) Cows in the road, someone’s herd is out. 8) Broken Bridge, not gone, just broken

ACT 4: Final Delivery

They’re now closing in on the final delivery. Something needs to happen here to cause them to put the suit on. Or maybe they never took it off! I love that idea, that one of your players just loves the suit and wants to be a chicken… lol… Anyway I’m a fan of having them need to get out of the suit for some reason, maybe a bathroom break, or they stand on a fire ant hill, or a snake slithers up their leg. You know something silly and fun. BUT the zipper is stuck! So they’ll have to try and unstick it and fast! Whatever happens they’re going to get shot at by some hunters looking for a big score who have mistaken the flailing caused by the stuck zipper to be the chicken attacking. After dealing with the Hunters they can go ahead and make the final drop. And head home.
Things to Do! - Head for the final delivery - Get shot at! - Deliver the last chickens
ENCOUNTER: That’s a BIG Chicken! Having two hunters in the field is more than enough to cause a problem for the players. The hunters will almost certainly surprise the players, but you can allow them a perception check, if they succeed they’ll see the hunters just before the muskets go off. It would be OK to down the Chicken Player here if the hunters successfully hit it. They’ll have healer’s kits on hand because, well, this seems to happen to them a lot out here. After the initial attack the players can decide to attack back or try and talk the hunters down. A basic Bandit or Scout stat block should do will for the hunters. If you’re looking for a bit more mayhem, if the hunters miss the players you could have them hit the cage, and you know, bust it open. This may be especially tempting if they
POSSIBLE ENCOUNTER: Big Ol' Frog So there is a giant frog hiding in the mud down in the creek. If a player takes cover behind the banks there is a good chance that the frog will attempt to nab the player as a snack. If it is successful in grabbing a player with its tongue it will immediately head down river, and they'll have to chase it to get their friend back.

CLOSE

When they return, Boss will reward them. How much will depend on how successful they were delivering the birds. If they did a descent job, they will be paid two day’s wages each. If they were completely successful they can have a bonus. However, if the wagon is in bad shape they might have some money deducted. After they’re paid out, they will be dismissed, and told to expect a new assignment next week.

CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent

After successfully delivering chickens Boss is going to trust them with a more important task. Their employer has requested an item to be created by Marvin the Magnificent. This is a farming community so having enchanted Farming Equipment is extremely desirable. Marvin has done a lot of basic enchantments over the years, but this new one, an The Stone Skipper, a plough whose blade goes ethereal while in contact with stones too large to push away, has really put him to the test. He needs some help with the final enchantments. The players will have to travel to the Ethereal Plane and hit the Blade of the plow with large rocks. But there’s a problem, they’re going to have mischievous Ethereal Sprites attempting to stop them! If they’re successful, which they should be, they get to take the plough for a test drive, and deal with the strange side effects of the enchantment. Angry goats that blink in and out of existence.

ACT 1: To the Tower

They’ll be summoned out to the Ranch where they’ll meet with Boss again. Once there they will notice a large pile of bent and dinged up plows. Boss will explain to them that a recent land acquisition has become problematic. The Fields are filled with large stones just under the topsoil and they’ve damaged a lot of Plow Blades. The Smithing costs are getting out of hand and so their Patron is looking for an alternate solution to the problem. He is sending them to help Marvin the Magnificent, who has taken the job, but run into some complications and needs some help. They may ask about Marvin. Or perhaps the fields that were purchased, so be ready to answer these types of questions. Once they’re done here they can head to Marvin’s Tower, which is just north of town.
Things to Do! - Meet Boss again - Ask some Informational Questions - Head for the Tower
NPC: Marvin the Magnificent Marvin Boudenbaum, AKA Marvin the Magnificent, has lived in town a good number of years, he wasn’t born here but is considered local by most folk. He is a mage of some skill, having mastered spells up to level 3 spells, and is frequently hired by locals to use his magic for anything and everything that their bumpkin brains can cook up. Thing is… Marvin has extraordinary bad luck, so bad in fact that his spellwork has a tendency to go wrong. Typically, it doesn’t go wrong in a dangerous fashion, but there was that time little Timmy Proudfoot was flung into the Astral Sea. Marvin was about to be sentenced for Negligent Magic Murdering when Timmy was suddenly returned by Captain Jinny Steampipe of the Atomic Dustbin (An Astral Spell Ship). Timmy was ok and Jinny and crew spent a few weeks spending some money and telling everyone in town amazing stories of the Astral Sea, so all was forgiven. Marvin, has since taken to having anyone who hires him sign liability waivers, you know just in case. He lives in a small tower just outside of town to the North.

ACT 2: Marvin the Magnificent

As they approach the tower they should see an explosion at the peak of the structure. It should look similar to a fireworks mishap. When it clears there will be no visible damage to the tower, But Marvin will plummet to the earth just off to the side of them, landing in a small pond. He will then come charging out of the pond, laughing hysterically, and riding on a large turtle. Once he gets a few feet away from the pond the turtle will disappear and he will tumble to the ground right in front of the players. He will leap up quickly and turn toward the players. “Behold Travelers, You stand in the presence of Marvin the Magnificent! And everything you have witness was mostly intended!” He will then strike a cool pose with his wand pointed to the sky! “Now why do you approach my tower!?”
Once Marvin finds out they’ve been sent about the plow he will become more nervous looking. “I see, well follow me. We have work to do.” He will then start walking toward the tower… his boots squishing out water. This should give them a little time to ask a few questions. Marvin will be a little subversive about what they need to do. He will attempt to frame it very mysteriously, saying things like “All will be revealed soon.” and “Save your questions! All Answers await us… in the future!” If they ask him about what they witnessed outside, he will tell them he was working on a mount summoning spell designed for lakes and rivers.
Things to Do! - Head toward the Tower - Meet Marvin - Ask Questions

ACT 3: The Cabinet of Mysteries

The inside of the Wizard’s Tower will be far more mundane than they likely expect. At least on the first floor. It will have a sitting room, dining room, and kitchen, as well as a few odds and ends about. Nothing special at all. The second floor, are Marvin’s personal quarters and some room for study, but it is the third floor, where Marvin will lead them, and it will be more of what one would expect in a Wizard’s tower. There will be books shelves, arcane equipment, and storage for components. In the middle of the room will be a tall cabinet.
Marvin will explain to them that the Cabinet is a transportation device, and that he will need them to enter into it with a plow that he has recently enchanted. They will be taken to the Ethereal Plane, and once there they’ll need to take the plow outside and begin hitting it with large field stones. There is a large pile of stones just on the north edge of the tower. They’ll have to do this quickly, before the “others” show up. Who are the others? Hard to say, but there are things that live in the Ethereal Plane that don’t like intruders. The idea is to imbue the Plow with Ethereal Powers so it can pass through large stones while plowing fields. Once they return with the Enchanted Plow, Marvin will have them load it on a cart, pulled by a very smart Donkey, and send them on their way.
Skill Challenge: Enchant the Plow This skill challenge will require five successes before they’re incapacitated by the others. However they decide to do it, they’ll have to successfully hit the plow with five large stones. Failures will result in strange indiscernible entities attacking them. They do minimal damage but could knock people out if there are enough failures.
Things to Do! - Move Through Marvin’s Tower - Enter the Cabinet - Enchant the Plow

ACT 4: Blinking Goats

Upon returning to Boss with the Plow they will be happily greet and paid. Their Patron will be there and will be very pleased with their success. He will ask them to demonstrate the plow’s abilities. Once they get set up out in the field and begin plowing something weird will happen. Every time they hit a stone and the plow’s power activates an Ethereal Goat will manifest and kick or ram the plow, and then disappear. It will feel very similar to what they encountered in the Ethereal Plane. They’ll have to find a way to deal with the manifestations.
ENCOUNTER: Ethereal Goats These goats should function very similarly to Blink Dogs, but I would trim the HP and AC a little to put them in line with the party’s. They will be intent on breaking the Plow not the party, although they will attack the party if they can’t get to the Plow.
Things to Do! - Deliver the Plow - Drive the Plow - Defeat the Ethereal Goats

CLOSE

Once defeated the Boss will come over to yell at them, but the Patron will find the entire thing amusing and more importantly, another impressive demonstration of the player’s skills. He will invite them to the “House” for an important party next week.

CHAPTER 4: High Society

They've definitely been noticed now and have impressed with their ability, unconventional as it may be. They are invited to their patron's home, but not as guests. Though, they might think they were actually invited as guests! They have been brought in to help work the event held out at the Party Field. They will have to gather party supplies, help put up the tent, and then serve the actual guests. During the evening’s entertainment a hypnotist “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will mesmerize the crowd and attempt to rob them all. Hopefully the players don’t fall victim to her schemes. And if they do oh well, they’ll be entertained all the same.

ACT 1: Special Delivery

The players arrive at the Patron’s very nice property. They will be greeted by a properly dressed servant with a clipboard, the Party Planner. The Planner will be rigid and direct. They will immediately begin tasking them about. If they mention that they were invited to the party the servant will laugh “You didn’t think you were a guest? Oh dear, how embarrassing. You’re the help! It is still a great honor to be tasked to help at the Party, but you’re not guests. Now as for your current task. Head into town and gather these supplies. Bring them to the field by noon.” After the instructions are given the servant will go back to their tasks and expect the players to do the same. They will have three stops; The Crocked Crow for Food and Beer, Get Nailed for the Tent and Spirits, and Shalana Proud-Breed’s Tailor Shop to pick up the Dry Cleaning. Feel free to make any and all of these go sideways! Its a good place to toss in some shenanigans as well! They should also be introduced to Dr Hypnotika and her associates.
Things To do! - Go to their Patron’s Home - Meet the Party Planner and Dr Hypnotika - Run their Errands
NPC: Dr Hypnotika Dr Hypnotika and her group will perform for the party. Hypnotica is a Tiefling Mezmerist and illusionist. She has an obnoxiously high charisma and some pretty serious skills to back up her claims. However, she uses those skills to beguile her guests, robbing them blind while they are under her spells. She wears a fine robe with a bedazzled headwrap. She has dark upward spiraling horns, light purple skin, and matching eyes. She wears a monocle and walks with a ceremonially carved staff depicting the "Struggles of the Universe". She is extremely persuasive and even more deceptive. Even if someone were to grow suspicious she can easily talk her way out of trouble.
NPCs: Clapper and Bob Hypnotika brings with her two assistants. Clapper the suit wearing Kenku who will perform wondrous displays of mimicry and slight of hand, and her strongman Bob the Kobold. Bob wears a leopard print strongman's outfit and is amazingly swole, particularly for a kobold, and capable of lifting upwards of 400lbs. Bob doesn't do much else other than get hit with things. in the act.

ACT 2: Put up the Tent

After they finish running their errands they will be tasked with putting up a large party tent. This Act is an ongoing Skill Challenge and should have a constantly distracted feel to it. First they have to unpack the tent. Then they have to realize some pieces are missing, they’ll have to form a solution to that problem. After that wind should cause some problems as the tent is at least being pulled up. This is a great moment for some wondrous tom-foolery.
Things To do! - Unpack the tent - Deal with missing parts - Secure the tent during the wind gusts

ACT 3: Put These On

After they finish putting up the tent they’ll be sent to the Servant’s Quarters to bathe and change. They’ll get a little time to explore and snoop if they wish. Afterward they’ll be tasked with helping in the kitchen, but unfortunately the cooks are going to have been playing a drinking game all afternoon and are no longer fully capable of doing their jobs. This would make a great moment for some sort of mini-game where the players have to determine whether or not the cooks are doing the right things. Once the dinner has been completed they will have to serve the guests. This is a good place to insert gossip and help them meet a few other folks.
Things To do! - Get changed for the party - Deal with the drunk cooks - Serve the guests drinks and food

ACT 4: An Evening to Remember

At some point in the evening things are going to start sliding downhill. Some of the locals will have become extremely inebriated and will need to be encouraged to leave, or just moved off to the side as they’ve already passed out, before the show begins. Once the show begins the locals will become fixated on the goings on. “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will have put an additive in the drinks for the that will make everyone more susceptible to her powers of persuasion. Once the show starts she will have them all doing silly things, those who drank have disadvantage on saves against her powers. She will end the show asking the guests to display their most valuable treasure, a with a hypnotic pattern and then send her assistants out to collect those treasures. The players will have to “do something” about the thieves.
Things To do! - Deal with Drunks - Watch the Show - Stop the Criminals
ENCOUNTER: Hypnotika's Gang This encounter doesn't have to be a fight. If Hypnotika is caught she may claim it was all part of the act and simple return the valuables with a "no harm, no foul" type attitude. This will be he go to in an attempt to avoid a fight, but if the character persist in some kind of retribution or punishment the situation will devolve into a combat. Hypnotica herself is an Illusionist Wizard but is low on spells after the show. Clapper is a low level rogue and Bob a Barbarian, and should play out as such. Even with Skills they are combat adverse and will be looking for an opportunity to flee rather than fight. They do have a getaway wagon out front that they'll be headed for if things go south.

CLOSE

We’re assuming the Bumpkins at least attempted to stop the robbery. This will draw a lot of attention to them. Their Patron will be well pleased with them, and let them know they will be getting much more important jobs in the future. The guests will also take note and will begin treating them all a bit better. They’re all essentially Folk Heroes at this point for secondary backgrounds. Their Patron should reward them with something very nice as the party kicks back in. They will need to finish out the nights work of course.

QUEST-LINE CLOSING

Congratulations! Your Players have completed their first Quest-line! Hopefully it was a delightful experience. But now that they've finished what comes next? Well, here are some ideas.
Reward Them! They've been doing some rather Adventurous things lately, and therefore should now have a Class Level under their belt, so the real D&D world now opens to them! Maybe it is time for some real adventuring gear. No more sticks, stones, and burlap sack armor.
Folk Heroes? There's a good chance that the Valley is Speaking the News about them and their exploits while drinking in the taverns. They may have even earned the actual Folk Hero Feat! Maybe someone would be interested in giving them a task!
Simply Go Exploring! There are a lot of places in Green Valley that we only dipped our toes into. You could have them head down to Stinkmarsh, or maybe climb up the cliffs of Longridge. The world (Well, the Valley) is wholly open to them.
Explore Local Legends There are lots of local legends they can look into! Hopefully they search out something that isn't too far over their heads!
Continue Working for their Patron It would be an easy DM go to simply to have them continue working for their current Patron. They've probably been impressive enough fo a family to be interested in keeping them on.
Establish Themselves as Adventurers! Maybe they want to set up a Adventurers for Hire business? This "Heroes Guild" approach is really appealing to a lot of players and absolutely plays into Bumpkin Quest. Just remember, this is a place of low key problems that locals make really big deals out of. So the idea of slaying dragons shouldn't really be on the table... that is until an actual dragon shows up! Which one day absolutely should.

Welcome to Green Valley

Four Merry Jaunts Through the Bumpkin Quest Campaign

CHAPTER 1: Green Tide Spring Cleaning time! This includes a parade, a festival, and a temple ceremony. These events are haunted by and angry goose hating enchanted broom.
CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens Folks need to eat. And round here they like to eat massive angry chickens. Somebody's gotta deliver them, and that somebody is your players!
CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent Simple problems require convoluted solutions. Help Marvin enchant a plow that can pass through stones. What could go wrong?
CHAPTER 4: High Society After earning some respect the players get invited to a high falutin social dilly do. But not as guests. As the help. And this party is gonna need it! The entertainment is about to become a mesmerizing problem.
ADVENTURE MECHANICS - Target Character Level: Commoners or Level 1 - Target Party Size: Four Players - Average Adventure Playtime: 2ish Hours - Tone: Rural Mayhem and Foolishness
Grab the Free PDF Here. https://www.patreon.com/posts/adventure-to-83830560
I’ve also put these adventures into our *Bumpkin Quest: Campaign Guide https://www.patreon.com/posts/guide-bumpkin-to-80202231 The guide fills in the details of Green Valley pretty thoroughly. The quests are simple enough to be run in any setting you choose, but if you're interested in more the Guide has about two dozen Custom Maps, 70+ NPCs, Location Descriptions, 20+ Local Legends, and Scores of Adventure and Event Ideas. You can grab the PDF Free at the link above.

Hills Furrow

At the center of the Valley sits a patch of small grassy hills, through which the Slow Water meanders through. Built into these hills is the Village of Hills Furrow. Celebrated by everyone living in The Valley and boasting a whopping population of almost 150, Hills Furrow is the center of commerce and social importance. Well, at least as far as the locals are concerned. Realistically it would be less than a blip on the grand scale of things, a mere kernel of wheat in the silo of civilization, but to those who live here, there is nothing quite like living in the “city”.
The Village itself, like the Valley, is predominantly Halfling, and their fancy dwellings are burrowed into the hillsides as often as possible. These dwellings have been family owned for generations only becomeing available if there are no heirs to pass them along to. Other folk live in well kept two story shingled buildings, most of which house a business on the lower floor and house the Shopkeepers and their families above their workplaces, though a few live in nearby homes. There aren’t many “rental” spaces in town, as property is usually bought up quickly by the Halfling Families, but there are long term options at either of the Inns in town.
Hills Furrow: Locations 1) The Crocked Crow (Inn and Tavern) 2) The Dancing Lamb (Inn and Tavern) 3) The Moaning Toad (Tavern) 4) Granny's Groceries (General Market) 5) Get Nailed (Hardware and Distilery) 6) Gimdurh's Hammer (Smithy) 7) Brenra's Mechanicals (Tinker) 8) Hjoldren's Home Goods (Carpenter) 9) Standard Industries (Office) 10) Fit to be Dyed (Tailor) 11) The Last Loaf (Baker) 12) The Cloudy Cleaver (Butcher) 13) Nature's Medecine (Apothecary) 14) Sheriff's Office 15) Green Valley School House 16) The Waterwheel 17) The Windmill 18) The Undercloak Estate 19) Truefoot Burrow 20) The Meadows Family Hill
The locals are hospitable and friendly enough, but they do not really trust outsiders. Folks from foreign places are good for trade, news, and little else. Those that come through are treated well enough as long as they don’t wear out their welcome. Locals, well, that’s a bit of a different story. The city and area doesn’t operate under a written caste system or social structure, but there is clearly a pecking order, and family heritage matters a great deal to folks in Hills Furrow. Most locals, whether they’ve gotten an education or not, can easily be classified as simple. It isn’t that they are slow of mind or unintelligent, but more that they are unconcerned with matters the outside world considers important. This sentiment has created a general, but friendly, dislike between those that consider themselves Highfalutin and those that clearly are not.
Well now that I've given you the fifty cent tour. Shall we get on to adventure?

CHAPTER 1: Green Tide

We will open our journeys in the Green Valley at Green Tide, the annual celebration of Winter’s End. This adventure is designed to give a tour of Hills Furrow and introduce them to the locals. It will begin with some chores around their house to prepare for the festival and end with a battle involving an enchanted broom. If you did not do Session Zero, this chapter may take a bit longer as we get to know everyone and their characters.

ACT 1: Pre-Festival

The locals spend the week cleaning out their houses and farms. They gather old junk and unused items to be used later in the festival. They also begin preparing what food is left from winter to be used in a celebration and feasts.
Things to do! - Have the Players clean up junk around the house - Have them Find something strange (Perhaps used for a later mystery?) - Have them Decorate their Broom - Have them run a Household Errand (Meet an NPC)

ACT 2: Sweeping Day

A merry festival celebrating Spring cleaning and putting the past behind them. They form a parade, with one member from each house carrying a brightly decorated broom and using it to symbolically “Sweep Away Winter”. The rest of the family marches their winter’s trash and unused goods down to the Fairgrounds. The goods are often traded, while the trash is piled in the fire pit to await burning later. The entire day is filled with fun outdoor activities. Households also symbolically bring their problems to the bonfires to burn them later.
Things to do! - March in the Parade - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals
EVENT: I Love a Parade
The parade will march North from near the Cross Roads in the South up around the hill and back again to the South where it will head for the Fairgrounds. There isn’t anything particularly challenging about this event, but it would be a wonderful place to start leaning into or building local rivalries.
EVENT: Never Seen a Broom Do That… As they come into the home stretch of the Parade one of the local’s Brooms will animate and take off. It will chase folks around the parade. The players can attempt to stop it, but the broom will flee soon after being attacked. It will fly up into the air, attack a flock of geese, and chase them off until it can’t be seen anymore. They can go and collect a fallen goose if they wish. I highly recommend giving it a motorcycle type sound as it flies around hitting folks. Maybe even going as far as giving it a rough gravel angry voice and letting it insult people.

ACT 3: Winter’s End

Winter’s End is a Combination of Groundhog’s Day and Fasnacht, this day gets a little wild. The Festival kicks off at dawn with the Great Gopher Hunt. Gophers are well known spies for The Voice of Winter and thus need to be hunted before they can tell The Voice to delay Spring. Gophers themselves are quite tasty, and are notoriously bad for crops, so this works out economically all around. Throughout the rest of the day families continue to contribute to the Bonfire Pile which often gets quite large. At dusk a large effigy of The Voice of Winter is placed on top of the pile. Once the sun has fully set they light the fire and burn the Effigy. Folk usually dress darkly during the day and brightly at night. After the burning they feast on sweets and treats that were made from goods saved up from winter storage.
Things to do! - The Great Gopher Hunt - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals - The Fairground’s Activities
EVENT: The Great Gopher Hunt The Hunt begins at dawn and takes place all over the Valley. Locals race to collect as many Gophers as possible. It is easiest to kill the Gopher, but there are some that find that distasteful. Instead they live trap the critters. It is a bit tougher to do so, but an option should your players wish. This is most easily played out as a series of appropriate Skill Checks, in which the higher they score the more gophers they obtain.
EVENT: Trash Removal They may find some locals willing to pay them to help cart junk down to the bonfire pile. Not a lot of skill involved in this, but it is a great opportunity to meet locals, and you could throw a runaway cart at them.
Fair Activities They will probably want to take part in Fairground Activities. Players love these types of challenges. Here are a few ideas you can build on. - Axe Throwin: Basic attack rolls on a Round Target. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Bow Shootin: Basic attack rolls on Moving Targets. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Pig Chasin: Catch the greased Pig! Medium DC Challenge requiring three success before three Failures. - Mud Wrastlin: Nothing says bumpkin like a good Mud Wrastlin Pit. Contested Skill Challenges. - Sausage Eating Contest: Increasingly difficult DC Challenge. Eat till you puke! Can also be Pies or Ribs or Little Fish… you know whatever someone wants to stuff dozens of in their gullet. - Tug O’War: Team Strength Challenge. Three to Five Contested Rolls with opposing teams. - Gopher BBQ Cook Off: A Hard Culinary Challenge to see who can BBQ the best Gopher! - Races: Foot and Mount Races based on Three to Five Contested Rolls. I usually include a few odd mounts like a Giant Chicken or some such nonsense.

ACT 4: Day of Ashes

The Day of Ashes is a day of rest, recovery, and reflection. Locals take the ashes from the bonfires and rub their hands in them to symbolize the end of a hard year’s work and hardships of the past. The day ends with a large family feast, typically Pork. Activities this day are light, but many folks head to the Temple for the Calling of Spring Blessings. They put on their fancies and head down to ask forgiveness for over-indulging in the festival and for worship. Well sort of…
Unfortunately, a lot of folks take this as an opportunity to peacock about and practice their one-upmanship over other locals. If you’re looking for inspiration for their outfits look to older photos of the Kentucky Derby. Over the years this troubling practice has caused more than one fight to break out after the service.
*Things to do! * - Go to Temple and Meet More Locals - Pick a Local Patron!
EVENT: Temple Services The majority of the town comes to Temple on this day. The service is usually longer, and a bit more “Where have most of you been all year?” But otherwise it is a call for the Divine Blessings to touch their crops and protect their lives. It ends with a ceremony in which the locals put their hands into the ashes from yesterday’s bonfire. Once services end they will head outside, where the trouble will begin. Two of the wealthier families will get into it with each other. Starting with a couple of veiled insults, probably before service and continuing afterward. If one of your players is from a local Rich Folk family then they can be right in the middle of it all, otherwise they will have to pick a side. This choice will determine their house Patron moving forward. Tension will increase until folks start drawing up sides, and then someone will throw a rotten tomato at one of the House Matrons. That will blow the lid off the incident and a yokel brawl will break out. For comedy purposes I recommend the instant appearance of several food carts filled with expired products, and maybe a six year old hustler selling big sticks for wacking folks with. As the locals brawl call for perception checks. Who ever rolls highest begins to hear… The Broom returning!
ENCOUNTER: Stick In The Eye The broom returns ready to whoop some ash. It will be absolutely bent on cleaning anyone and everyone who is even the slightest bit dirty! If it successfully attacks a character they will have to make a Strength Saving throw or be knocked to the ground and swept clean by the broom. As this would be an awful omen for the year folks are terrified and will be running around screaming. Absolute mass hysteria. If the players were lucky enough to hear it coming they can avoid being surprised by the broom. Otherwise the broom will get a full round to attack before they have a chance to do anything. They’ll have to beat the broom into submission any way they can before it sweeps the whole town into chaos!

CLOSING

After defeating the broom things will settle back down again. Bumpkins are quick to return to normal when things go awry. However, they will have gotten the attention of one of the Wealthy Families in the area and be offered jobs. Which family is really, based on what will work best for them and you as the DM. For gags you might be tempted to have the Yokels pick them up, but that is a hard bit to sustain, and you may be better served keeping them on the side as a comic foil rather than up front. Completely up to you. The session should end with them being invited to meet their new patron tomorrow someplace important.

CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens

After successfully defeating the Enchanted Broom, our Bumpkins have gained the attention of a possible local Patron. This individual has summoned them to a nearby farm to discuss future work. That work includes proving themselves capable and not just lucky.

ACT 1: Meet the Boss

In this Act the players will meet with their new patron, one of the Family Heads, who that is entirely depends on their choices from the last game. This entire side branch is designed to flavor the background of the campaign, but if you’d rather just have them stay freelancing and independent that’s fine as well. There is also the possibility of “competing” offers should they have second thoughts for any reason. Once they arrive at the meeting spot their Patron will ask them some questions about their ambitions (Class Goals), they will then hand them off to their new “boss” who will assign them their task. They will take them to a nearby barn.
NPC: “Boss” Needs a fitting name for the Family they work for... Character wise, what we got here is a standard “Ranch Foreman” character. They’re tough, A little mean, and completely loyal to their employer. They almost certainly chew tobacco (by the handful), have a tattoo of the Ranch’s Brand, and know where all the bodies are buried. They also have a huge and obvious scar on the side of their head where a Giant Chicken pecked a hole in their skull, so they’re not as bright as they used to be, not at all truthfully. Nor are they actually the Foreman anymore, but no one has a heart to tell them. They’ve been quietly downgraded to Chicken Handler, which is something they seem to remember quite well, but the brain damage keeps them from realizing all that. They can be found wandering the Farm giving strange orders to other Hands. These Hands nod politely and then go back to what they are doing.
Things To Do! - Meet Their Patron - Discuss Their Future - Meet Their New “Boss”

ACT 2: Chicken Dance

Boss will lead them into the odd looking barn. This building is filled with Giant Chickens. These two-three foot fouls have extremely exaggerated features, spiky looking beaks with sharp tooth like edges, big darting eyes, bumpy cracked skin, long gnarled talons, and dirty mottled feathers. They’re more beast than bird. But, they’re good for eatin! These creatures should have a stat block similar to an Axe Beak. When the players enter into the Barn the Chickens will go nuts, obviously deeply bothered by the intrusion. Boss will throw in some deer haunches and the birds will tear them apart in a feeding frenzy. They will then put on a Chicken Suit and begin a flapping dance. (Google Magnificent Riflebird) It should be absolutely captivating and the chickens will become mesmerized, watching every move. Boss will then load two dozen chickens onto a large wagon and lock it. They will have the players push the wagon out while he keeps the Chickens calm. Once outside they’ll hang heavy tarps on the sides of the wagon, and remove the suit. He will then explain to them that they need to keep the tarps on the wagon, and keep the birds well fed, or the chickens will get restless and become violent. When they do need to interact with them someone will have to wear the suit and dance to keep them calm. The bigger the person in the suit the better. Boss will then give them a Map of Green Valley and instruct them to drop off two chickens at each of the outer settlements. They have two days to get this done.
Things To Do! - Head into the barn - Witness The Dance of The Chicken - Push the Wagon out - Get the Costume and Delivery Instructions

ACT 3: Bumpy Roads

They will be off to deliver the Chickens to various locations. There is no specific order to this delivery, they just need to pick a route and go. If they’re short on time they can take the country roads that lead between the outer settlements, but these aren’t as well kept as the main roads are. Whatever road they take and wherever they decide to stop for the night there are problems they will encounter along the way. You can make them random or pick the ones that best suit your players. Most of these should at some point require someone putting on the suit and dancing for the chickens to keep them calm. I would also increase the difficulty of each event. If they fail a dance the Chickens will become restless and start attacking the cart until they are calmed down. Too many failures and the wagon’s cage will break and the remaining chickens escape. They will then have to be rounded up and the cage repaired.
Things to Do! - Decide the delivery route - Deliver the chickens - Keep the Chickens calm
Possible Road Events 1) Rough roads cause problems 2) Yokels attempt to see what’s in the cart 3) Bad Weather swamps the road or scares the chickens 4) Pack of Coyotes causes trouble. 5) Chicken Rustlers! Protect the Flock! 6) Wagon breaks and needs repair 7) Cows in the road, someone’s herd is out. 8) Broken Bridge, not gone, just broken

ACT 4: Final Delivery

They’re now closing in on the final delivery. Something needs to happen here to cause them to put the suit on. Or maybe they never took it off! I love that idea, that one of your players just loves the suit and wants to be a chicken… lol… Anyway I’m a fan of having them need to get out of the suit for some reason, maybe a bathroom break, or they stand on a fire ant hill, or a snake slithers up their leg. You know something silly and fun. BUT the zipper is stuck! So they’ll have to try and unstick it and fast! Whatever happens they’re going to get shot at by some hunters looking for a big score who have mistaken the flailing caused by the stuck zipper to be the chicken attacking. After dealing with the Hunters they can go ahead and make the final drop. And head home.
Things to Do! - Head for the final delivery - Get shot at! - Deliver the last chickens
ENCOUNTER: That’s a BIG Chicken! Having two hunters in the field is more than enough to cause a problem for the players. The hunters will almost certainly surprise the players, but you can allow them a perception check, if they succeed they’ll see the hunters just before the muskets go off. It would be OK to down the Chicken Player here if the hunters successfully hit it. They’ll have healer’s kits on hand because, well, this seems to happen to them a lot out here. After the initial attack the players can decide to attack back or try and talk the hunters down. A basic Bandit or Scout stat block should do will for the hunters. If you’re looking for a bit more mayhem, if the hunters miss the players you could have them hit the cage, and you know, bust it open. This may be especially tempting if they
POSSIBLE ENCOUNTER: Big Ol' Frog So there is a giant frog hiding in the mud down in the creek. If a player takes cover behind the banks there is a good chance that the frog will attempt to nab the player as a snack. If it is successful in grabbing a player with its tongue it will immediately head down river, and they'll have to chase it to get their friend back.

CLOSE

When they return, Boss will reward them. How much will depend on how successful they were delivering the birds. If they did a descent job, they will be paid two day’s wages each. If they were completely successful they can have a bonus. However, if the wagon is in bad shape they might have some money deducted. After they’re paid out, they will be dismissed, and told to expect a new assignment next week.

CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent

After successfully delivering chickens Boss is going to trust them with a more important task. Their employer has requested an item to be created by Marvin the Magnificent. This is a farming community so having enchanted Farming Equipment is extremely desirable. Marvin has done a lot of basic enchantments over the years, but this new one, an The Stone Skipper, a plough whose blade goes ethereal while in contact with stones too large to push away, has really put him to the test. He needs some help with the final enchantments. The players will have to travel to the Ethereal Plane and hit the Blade of the plow with large rocks. But there’s a problem, they’re going to have mischievous Ethereal Sprites attempting to stop them! If they’re successful, which they should be, they get to take the plough for a test drive, and deal with the strange side effects of the enchantment. Angry goats that blink in and out of existence.

ACT 1: To the Tower

They’ll be summoned out to the Ranch where they’ll meet with Boss again. Once there they will notice a large pile of bent and dinged up plows. Boss will explain to them that a recent land acquisition has become problematic. The Fields are filled with large stones just under the topsoil and they’ve damaged a lot of Plow Blades. The Smithing costs are getting out of hand and so their Patron is looking for an alternate solution to the problem. He is sending them to help Marvin the Magnificent, who has taken the job, but run into some complications and needs some help. They may ask about Marvin. Or perhaps the fields that were purchased, so be ready to answer these types of questions. Once they’re done here they can head to Marvin’s Tower, which is just north of town.
Things to Do! - Meet Boss again - Ask some Informational Questions - Head for the Tower
NPC: Marvin the Magnificent Marvin Boudenbaum, AKA Marvin the Magnificent, has lived in town a good number of years, he wasn’t born here but is considered local by most folk. He is a mage of some skill, having mastered spells up to level 3 spells, and is frequently hired by locals to use his magic for anything and everything that their bumpkin brains can cook up. Thing is… Marvin has extraordinary bad luck, so bad in fact that his spellwork has a tendency to go wrong. Typically, it doesn’t go wrong in a dangerous fashion, but there was that time little Timmy Proudfoot was flung into the Astral Sea. Marvin was about to be sentenced for Negligent Magic Murdering when Timmy was suddenly returned by Captain Jinny Steampipe of the Atomic Dustbin (An Astral Spell Ship). Timmy was ok and Jinny and crew spent a few weeks spending some money and telling everyone in town amazing stories of the Astral Sea, so all was forgiven. Marvin, has since taken to having anyone who hires him sign liability waivers, you know just in case. He lives in a small tower just outside of town to the North.

ACT 2: Marvin the Magnificent

As they approach the tower they should see an explosion at the peak of the structure. It should look similar to a fireworks mishap. When it clears there will be no visible damage to the tower, But Marvin will plummet to the earth just off to the side of them, landing in a small pond. He will then come charging out of the pond, laughing hysterically, and riding on a large turtle. Once he gets a few feet away from the pond the turtle will disappear and he will tumble to the ground right in front of the players. He will leap up quickly and turn toward the players. “Behold Travelers, You stand in the presence of Marvin the Magnificent! And everything you have witness was mostly intended!” He will then strike a cool pose with his wand pointed to the sky! “Now why do you approach my tower!?”
Once Marvin finds out they’ve been sent about the plow he will become more nervous looking. “I see, well follow me. We have work to do.” He will then start walking toward the tower… his boots squishing out water. This should give them a little time to ask a few questions. Marvin will be a little subversive about what they need to do. He will attempt to frame it very mysteriously, saying things like “All will be revealed soon.” and “Save your questions! All Answers await us… in the future!” If they ask him about what they witnessed outside, he will tell them he was working on a mount summoning spell designed for lakes and rivers.
Things to Do! - Head toward the Tower - Meet Marvin - Ask Questions

ACT 3: The Cabinet of Mysteries

The inside of the Wizard’s Tower will be far more mundane than they likely expect. At least on the first floor. It will have a sitting room, dining room, and kitchen, as well as a few odds and ends about. Nothing special at all. The second floor, are Marvin’s personal quarters and some room for study, but it is the third floor, where Marvin will lead them, and it will be more of what one would expect in a Wizard’s tower. There will be books shelves, arcane equipment, and storage for components. In the middle of the room will be a tall cabinet.
Marvin will explain to them that the Cabinet is a transportation device, and that he will need them to enter into it with a plow that he has recently enchanted. They will be taken to the Ethereal Plane, and once there they’ll need to take the plow outside and begin hitting it with large field stones. There is a large pile of stones just on the north edge of the tower. They’ll have to do this quickly, before the “others” show up. Who are the others? Hard to say, but there are things that live in the Ethereal Plane that don’t like intruders. The idea is to imbue the Plow with Ethereal Powers so it can pass through large stones while plowing fields. Once they return with the Enchanted Plow, Marvin will have them load it on a cart, pulled by a very smart Donkey, and send them on their way.
Skill Challenge: Enchant the Plow This skill challenge will require five successes before they’re incapacitated by the others. However they decide to do it, they’ll have to successfully hit the plow with five large stones. Failures will result in strange indiscernible entities attacking them. They do minimal damage but could knock people out if there are enough failures.
Things to Do! - Move Through Marvin’s Tower - Enter the Cabinet - Enchant the Plow

ACT 4: Blinking Goats

Upon returning to Boss with the Plow they will be happily greet and paid. Their Patron will be there and will be very pleased with their success. He will ask them to demonstrate the plow’s abilities. Once they get set up out in the field and begin plowing something weird will happen. Every time they hit a stone and the plow’s power activates an Ethereal Goat will manifest and kick or ram the plow, and then disappear. It will feel very similar to what they encountered in the Ethereal Plane. They’ll have to find a way to deal with the manifestations.
ENCOUNTER: Ethereal Goats These goats should function very similarly to Blink Dogs, but I would trim the HP and AC a little to put them in line with the party’s. They will be intent on breaking the Plow not the party, although they will attack the party if they can’t get to the Plow.
Things to Do! - Deliver the Plow - Drive the Plow - Defeat the Ethereal Goats

CLOSE

Once defeated the Boss will come over to yell at them, but the Patron will find the entire thing amusing and more importantly, another impressive demonstration of the player’s skills. He will invite them to the “House” for an important party next week.

CHAPTER 4: High Society

They've definitely been noticed now and have impressed with their ability, unconventional as it may be. They are invited to their patron's home, but not as guests. Though, they might think they were actually invited as guests! They have been brought in to help work the event held out at the Party Field. They will have to gather party supplies, help put up the tent, and then serve the actual guests. During the evening’s entertainment a hypnotist “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will mesmerize the crowd and attempt to rob them all. Hopefully the players don’t fall victim to her schemes. And if they do oh well, they’ll be entertained all the same.

ACT 1: Special Delivery

The players arrive at the Patron’s very nice property. They will be greeted by a properly dressed servant with a clipboard, the Party Planner. The Planner will be rigid and direct. They will immediately begin tasking them about. If they mention that they were invited to the party the servant will laugh “You didn’t think you were a guest? Oh dear, how embarrassing. You’re the help! It is still a great honor to be tasked to help at the Party, but you’re not guests. Now as for your current task. Head into town and gather these supplies. Bring them to the field by noon.” After the instructions are given the servant will go back to their tasks and expect the players to do the same. They will have three stops; The Crocked Crow for Food and Beer, Get Nailed for the Tent and Spirits, and Shalana Proud-Breed’s Tailor Shop to pick up the Dry Cleaning. Feel free to make any and all of these go sideways! Its a good place to toss in some shenanigans as well! They should also be introduced to Dr Hypnotika and her associates.
Things To do! - Go to their Patron’s Home - Meet the Party Planner and Dr Hypnotika - Run their Errands
NPC: Dr Hypnotika Dr Hypnotika and her group will perform for the party. Hypnotica is a Tiefling Mezmerist and illusionist. She has an obnoxiously high charisma and some pretty serious skills to back up her claims. However, she uses those skills to beguile her guests, robbing them blind while they are under her spells. She wears a fine robe with a bedazzled headwrap. She has dark upward spiraling horns, light purple skin, and matching eyes. She wears a monocle and walks with a ceremonially carved staff depicting the "Struggles of the Universe". She is extremely persuasive and even more deceptive. Even if someone were to grow suspicious she can easily talk her way out of trouble.
NPCs: Clapper and Bob Hypnotika brings with her two assistants. Clapper the suit wearing Kenku who will perform wondrous displays of mimicry and slight of hand, and her strongman Bob the Kobold. Bob wears a leopard print strongman's outfit and is amazingly swole, particularly for a kobold, and capable of lifting upwards of 400lbs. Bob doesn't do much else other than get hit with things. in the act.

ACT 2: Put up the Tent

After they finish running their errands they will be tasked with putting up a large party tent. This Act is an ongoing Skill Challenge and should have a constantly distracted feel to it. First they have to unpack the tent. Then they have to realize some pieces are missing, they’ll have to form a solution to that problem. After that wind should cause some problems as the tent is at least being pulled up. This is a great moment for some wondrous tom-foolery.
Things To do! - Unpack the tent - Deal with missing parts - Secure the tent during the wind gusts

ACT 3: Put These On

After they finish putting up the tent they’ll be sent to the Servant’s Quarters to bathe and change. They’ll get a little time to explore and snoop if they wish. Afterward they’ll be tasked with helping in the kitchen, but unfortunately the cooks are going to have been playing a drinking game all afternoon and are no longer fully capable of doing their jobs. This would make a great moment for some sort of mini-game where the players have to determine whether or not the cooks are doing the right things. Once the dinner has been completed they will have to serve the guests. This is a good place to insert gossip and help them meet a few other folks.
Things To do! - Get changed for the party - Deal with the drunk cooks - Serve the guests drinks and food

ACT 4: An Evening to Remember

At some point in the evening things are going to start sliding downhill. Some of the locals will have become extremely inebriated and will need to be encouraged to leave, or just moved off to the side as they’ve already passed out, before the show begins. Once the show begins the locals will become fixated on the goings on. “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will have put an additive in the drinks for the that will make everyone more susceptible to her powers of persuasion. Once the show starts she will have them all doing silly things, those who drank have disadvantage on saves against her powers. She will end the show asking the guests to display their most valuable treasure, a with a hypnotic pattern and then send her assistants out to collect those treasures. The players will have to “do something” about the thieves.
Things To do! - Deal with Drunks - Watch the Show - Stop the Criminals
ENCOUNTER: Hypnotika's Gang This encounter doesn't have to be a fight. If Hypnotika is caught she may claim it was all part of the act and simple return the valuables with a "no harm, no foul" type attitude. This will be he go to in an attempt to avoid a fight, but if the character persist in some kind of retribution or punishment the situation will devolve into a combat. Hypnotica herself is an Illusionist Wizard but is low on spells after the show. Clapper is a low level rogue and Bob a Barbarian, and should play out as such. Even with Skills they are combat adverse and will be looking for an opportunity to flee rather than fight. They do have a getaway wagon out front that they'll be headed for if things go south.

CLOSE

We’re assuming the Bumpkins at least attempted to stop the robbery. This will draw a lot of attention to them. Their Patron will be well pleased with them, and let them know they will be getting much more important jobs in the future. The guests will also take note and will begin treating them all a bit better. They’re all essentially Folk Heroes at this point for secondary backgrounds. Their Patron should reward them with something very nice as the party kicks back in. They will need to finish out the nights work of course.

QUEST-LINE CLOSING

Congratulations! Your Players have completed their first Quest-line! Hopefully it was a delightful experience. But now that they've finished what comes next? Well, here are some ideas.
Reward Them! They've been doing some rather Adventurous things lately, and therefore should now have a Class Level under their belt, so the real D&D world now opens to them! Maybe it is time for some real adventuring gear. No more sticks, stones, and burlap sack armor.
Folk Heroes? There's a good chance that the Valley is Speaking the News about them and their exploits while drinking in the taverns. They may have even earned the actual Folk Hero Feat! Maybe someone would be interested in giving them a task!
Simply Go Exploring! There are a lot of places in Green Valley that we only dipped our toes into. You could have them head down to Stinkmarsh, or maybe climb up the cliffs of Longridge. The world (Well, the Valley) is wholly open to them.
Explore Local Legends There are lots of local legends they can look into! Hopefully they search out something that isn't too far over their heads!
Continue Working for their Patron It would be an easy DM go to simply to have them continue working for their current Patron. They've probably been impressive enough for a family to be interested in keeping them on.
Establish Themselves as Adventurers! Maybe they want to set up a Adventurers for Hire business? This "Heroes Guild" approach is really appealing to a lot of players and absolutely plays into Bumpkin Quest. Just remember, this is a place of low key problems that locals make really big deals out of. So the idea of slaying dragons shouldn't really be on the table... that is until an actual dragon shows up! Which one day absolutely should.

Welcome to Green Valley

Four Merry Jaunts Through the Bumpkin Quest Campaign

CHAPTER 1: Green Tide Spring Cleaning time! This includes a parade, a festival, and a temple ceremony. These events are haunted by and angry goose hating enchanted broom.
CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens Folks need to eat. And round here they like to eat massive angry chickens. Somebody's gotta deliver them, and that somebody is your players!
CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent Simple problems require convoluted solutions. Help Marvin enchant a plow that can pass through stones. What could go wrong?
CHAPTER 4: High Society After earning some respect the players get invited to a high falutin social dilly do. But not as guests. As the help. And this party is gonna need it! The entertainment is about to become a mesmerizing problem.
ADVENTURE MECHANICS - Target Character Level: Commoners or Level 1 - Target Party Size: Four Players - Average Adventure Playtime: 2ish Hours - Tone: Rural Mayhem and Foolishness
Grab the Free PDF Here. https://www.patreon.com/posts/adventure-to-83830560
I’ve also put these adventures into our *Bumpkin Quest: Campaign Guide https://www.patreon.com/posts/guide-bumpkin-to-80202231 The guide fills in the details of Green Valley pretty thoroughly. The quests are simple enough to be run in any setting you choose, but if you're interested in more the Guide has about two dozen Custom Maps, 70+ NPCs, Location Descriptions, 20+ Local Legends, and Scores of Adventure and Event Ideas. You can grab the PDF Free at the link above.

Hills Furrow

At the center of the Valley sits a patch of small grassy hills, through which the Slow Water meanders through. Built into these hills is the Village of Hills Furrow. Celebrated by everyone living in The Valley and boasting a whopping population of almost 150, Hills Furrow is the center of commerce and social importance. Well, at least as far as the locals are concerned. Realistically it would be less than a blip on the grand scale of things, a mere kernel of wheat in the silo of civilization, but to those who live here, there is nothing quite like living in the “city”.
The Village itself, like the Valley, is predominantly Halfling, and their fancy dwellings are burrowed into the hillsides as often as possible. These dwellings have been family owned for generations only becomeing available if there are no heirs to pass them along to. Other folk live in well kept two story shingled buildings, most of which house a business on the lower floor and house the Shopkeepers and their families above their workplaces, though a few live in nearby homes. There aren’t many “rental” spaces in town, as property is usually bought up quickly by the Halfling Families, but there are long term options at either of the Inns in town.
Hills Furrow: Locations 1) The Crocked Crow (Inn and Tavern) 2) The Dancing Lamb (Inn and Tavern) 3) The Moaning Toad (Tavern) 4) Granny's Groceries (General Market) 5) Get Nailed (Hardware and Distilery) 6) Gimdurh's Hammer (Smithy) 7) Brenra's Mechanicals (Tinker) 8) Hjoldren's Home Goods (Carpenter) 9) Standard Industries (Office) 10) Fit to be Dyed (Tailor) 11) The Last Loaf (Baker) 12) The Cloudy Cleaver (Butcher) 13) Nature's Medecine (Apothecary) 14) Sheriff's Office 15) Green Valley School House 16) The Waterwheel 17) The Windmill 18) The Undercloak Estate 19) Truefoot Burrow 20) The Meadows Family Hill
The locals are hospitable and friendly enough, but they do not really trust outsiders. Folks from foreign places are good for trade, news, and little else. Those that come through are treated well enough as long as they don’t wear out their welcome. Locals, well, that’s a bit of a different story. The city and area doesn’t operate under a written caste system or social structure, but there is clearly a pecking order, and family heritage matters a great deal to folks in Hills Furrow. Most locals, whether they’ve gotten an education or not, can easily be classified as simple. It isn’t that they are slow of mind or unintelligent, but more that they are unconcerned with matters the outside world considers important. This sentiment has created a general, but friendly, dislike between those that consider themselves Highfalutin and those that clearly are not.
Well now that I've given you the fifty cent tour. Shall we get on to adventure?

CHAPTER 1: Green Tide

We will open our journeys in the Green Valley at Green Tide, the annual celebration of Winter’s End. This adventure is designed to give a tour of Hills Furrow and introduce them to the locals. It will begin with some chores around their house to prepare for the festival and end with a battle involving an enchanted broom. If you did not do Session Zero, this chapter may take a bit longer as we get to know everyone and their characters.

ACT 1: Pre-Festival

The locals spend the week cleaning out their houses and farms. They gather old junk and unused items to be used later in the festival. They also begin preparing what food is left from winter to be used in a celebration and feasts.
Things to do! - Have the Players clean up junk around the house - Have them Find something strange (Perhaps used for a later mystery?) - Have them Decorate their Broom - Have them run a Household Errand (Meet an NPC)

ACT 2: Sweeping Day

A merry festival celebrating Spring cleaning and putting the past behind them. They form a parade, with one member from each house carrying a brightly decorated broom and using it to symbolically “Sweep Away Winter”. The rest of the family marches their winter’s trash and unused goods down to the Fairgrounds. The goods are often traded, while the trash is piled in the fire pit to await burning later. The entire day is filled with fun outdoor activities. Households also symbolically bring their problems to the bonfires to burn them later.
Things to do! - March in the Parade - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals
EVENT: I Love a Parade
The parade will march North from near the Cross Roads in the South up around the hill and back again to the South where it will head for the Fairgrounds. There isn’t anything particularly challenging about this event, but it would be a wonderful place to start leaning into or building local rivalries.
EVENT: Never Seen a Broom Do That… As they come into the home stretch of the Parade one of the local’s Brooms will animate and take off. It will chase folks around the parade. The players can attempt to stop it, but the broom will flee soon after being attacked. It will fly up into the air, attack a flock of geese, and chase them off until it can’t be seen anymore. They can go and collect a fallen goose if they wish. I highly recommend giving it a motorcycle type sound as it flies around hitting folks. Maybe even going as far as giving it a rough gravel angry voice and letting it insult people.

ACT 3: Winter’s End

Winter’s End is a Combination of Groundhog’s Day and Fasnacht, this day gets a little wild. The Festival kicks off at dawn with the Great Gopher Hunt. Gophers are well known spies for The Voice of Winter and thus need to be hunted before they can tell The Voice to delay Spring. Gophers themselves are quite tasty, and are notoriously bad for crops, so this works out economically all around. Throughout the rest of the day families continue to contribute to the Bonfire Pile which often gets quite large. At dusk a large effigy of The Voice of Winter is placed on top of the pile. Once the sun has fully set they light the fire and burn the Effigy. Folk usually dress darkly during the day and brightly at night. After the burning they feast on sweets and treats that were made from goods saved up from winter storage.
Things to do! - The Great Gopher Hunt - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals - The Fairground’s Activities
EVENT: The Great Gopher Hunt The Hunt begins at dawn and takes place all over the Valley. Locals race to collect as many Gophers as possible. It is easiest to kill the Gopher, but there are some that find that distasteful. Instead they live trap the critters. It is a bit tougher to do so, but an option should your players wish. This is most easily played out as a series of appropriate Skill Checks, in which the higher they score the more gophers they obtain.
EVENT: Trash Removal They may find some locals willing to pay them to help cart junk down to the bonfire pile. Not a lot of skill involved in this, but it is a great opportunity to meet locals, and you could throw a runaway cart at them.
Fair Activities They will probably want to take part in Fairground Activities. Players love these types of challenges. Here are a few ideas you can build on. - Axe Throwin: Basic attack rolls on a Round Target. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Bow Shootin: Basic attack rolls on Moving Targets. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Pig Chasin: Catch the greased Pig! Medium DC Challenge requiring three success before three Failures. - Mud Wrastlin: Nothing says bumpkin like a good Mud Wrastlin Pit. Contested Skill Challenges. - Sausage Eating Contest: Increasingly difficult DC Challenge. Eat till you puke! Can also be Pies or Ribs or Little Fish… you know whatever someone wants to stuff dozens of in their gullet. - Tug O’War: Team Strength Challenge. Three to Five Contested Rolls with opposing teams. - Gopher BBQ Cook Off: A Hard Culinary Challenge to see who can BBQ the best Gopher! - Races: Foot and Mount Races based on Three to Five Contested Rolls. I usually include a few odd mounts like a Giant Chicken or some such nonsense.

ACT 4: Day of Ashes

The Day of Ashes is a day of rest, recovery, and reflection. Locals take the ashes from the bonfires and rub their hands in them to symbolize the end of a hard year’s work and hardships of the past. The day ends with a large family feast, typically Pork. Activities this day are light, but many folks head to the Temple for the Calling of Spring Blessings. They put on their fancies and head down to ask forgiveness for over-indulging in the festival and for worship. Well sort of…
Unfortunately, a lot of folks take this as an opportunity to peacock about and practice their one-upmanship over other locals. If you’re looking for inspiration for their outfits look to older photos of the Kentucky Derby. Over the years this troubling practice has caused more than one fight to break out after the service.
*Things to do! * - Go to Temple and Meet More Locals - Pick a Local Patron!
EVENT: Temple Services The majority of the town comes to Temple on this day. The service is usually longer, and a bit more “Where have most of you been all year?” But otherwise it is a call for the Divine Blessings to touch their crops and protect their lives. It ends with a ceremony in which the locals put their hands into the ashes from yesterday’s bonfire. Once services end they will head outside, where the trouble will begin. Two of the wealthier families will get into it with each other. Starting with a couple of veiled insults, probably before service and continuing afterward. If one of your players is from a local Rich Folk family then they can be right in the middle of it all, otherwise they will have to pick a side. This choice will determine their house Patron moving forward. Tension will increase until folks start drawing up sides, and then someone will throw a rotten tomato at one of the House Matrons. That will blow the lid off the incident and a yokel brawl will break out. For comedy purposes I recommend the instant appearance of several food carts filled with expired products, and maybe a six year old hustler selling big sticks for wacking folks with. As the locals brawl call for perception checks. Who ever rolls highest begins to hear… The Broom returning!
ENCOUNTER: Stick In The Eye The broom returns ready to whoop some ash. It will be absolutely bent on cleaning anyone and everyone who is even the slightest bit dirty! If it successfully attacks a character they will have to make a Strength Saving throw or be knocked to the ground and swept clean by the broom. As this would be an awful omen for the year folks are terrified and will be running around screaming. Absolute mass hysteria. If the players were lucky enough to hear it coming they can avoid being surprised by the broom. Otherwise the broom will get a full round to attack before they have a chance to do anything. They’ll have to beat the broom into submission any way they can before it sweeps the whole town into chaos!

CLOSING

After defeating the broom things will settle back down again. Bumpkins are quick to return to normal when things go awry. However, they will have gotten the attention of one of the Wealthy Families in the area and be offered jobs. Which family is really, based on what will work best for them and you as the DM. For gags you might be tempted to have the Yokels pick them up, but that is a hard bit to sustain, and you may be better served keeping them on the side as a comic foil rather than up front. Completely up to you. The session should end with them being invited to meet their new patron tomorrow someplace important.

CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens

After successfully defeating the Enchanted Broom, our Bumpkins have gained the attention of a possible local Patron. This individual has summoned them to a nearby farm to discuss future work. That work includes proving themselves capable and not just lucky.

ACT 1: Meet the Boss

In this Act the players will meet with their new patron, one of the Family Heads, who that is entirely depends on their choices from the last game. This entire side branch is designed to flavor the background of the campaign, but if you’d rather just have them stay freelancing and independent that’s fine as well. There is also the possibility of “competing” offers should they have second thoughts for any reason. Once they arrive at the meeting spot their Patron will ask them some questions about their ambitions (Class Goals), they will then hand them off to their new “boss” who will assign them their task. They will take them to a nearby barn.
NPC: “Boss” Needs a fitting name for the Family they work for... Character wise, what we got here is a standard “Ranch Foreman” character. They’re tough, A little mean, and completely loyal to their employer. They almost certainly chew tobacco (by the handful), have a tattoo of the Ranch’s Brand, and know where all the bodies are buried. They also have a huge and obvious scar on the side of their head where a Giant Chicken pecked a hole in their skull, so they’re not as bright as they used to be, not at all truthfully. Nor are they actually the Foreman anymore, but no one has a heart to tell them. They’ve been quietly downgraded to Chicken Handler, which is something they seem to remember quite well, but the brain damage keeps them from realizing all that. They can be found wandering the Farm giving strange orders to other Hands. These Hands nod politely and then go back to what they are doing.
Things To Do! - Meet Their Patron - Discuss Their Future - Meet Their New “Boss”

ACT 2: Chicken Dance

Boss will lead them into the odd looking barn. This building is filled with Giant Chickens. These two-three foot fouls have extremely exaggerated features, spiky looking beaks with sharp tooth like edges, big darting eyes, bumpy cracked skin, long gnarled talons, and dirty mottled feathers. They’re more beast than bird. But, they’re good for eatin! These creatures should have a stat block similar to an Axe Beak. When the players enter into the Barn the Chickens will go nuts, obviously deeply bothered by the intrusion. Boss will throw in some deer haunches and the birds will tear them apart in a feeding frenzy. They will then put on a Chicken Suit and begin a flapping dance. (Google Magnificent Riflebird) It should be absolutely captivating and the chickens will become mesmerized, watching every move. Boss will then load two dozen chickens onto a large wagon and lock it. They will have the players push the wagon out while he keeps the Chickens calm. Once outside they’ll hang heavy tarps on the sides of the wagon, and remove the suit. He will then explain to them that they need to keep the tarps on the wagon, and keep the birds well fed, or the chickens will get restless and become violent. When they do need to interact with them someone will have to wear the suit and dance to keep them calm. The bigger the person in the suit the better. Boss will then give them a Map of Green Valley and instruct them to drop off two chickens at each of the outer settlements. They have two days to get this done.
Things To Do! - Head into the barn - Witness The Dance of The Chicken - Push the Wagon out - Get the Costume and Delivery Instructions

ACT 3: Bumpy Roads

They will be off to deliver the Chickens to various locations. There is no specific order to this delivery, they just need to pick a route and go. If they’re short on time they can take the country roads that lead between the outer settlements, but these aren’t as well kept as the main roads are. Whatever road they take and wherever they decide to stop for the night there are problems they will encounter along the way. You can make them random or pick the ones that best suit your players. Most of these should at some point require someone putting on the suit and dancing for the chickens to keep them calm. I would also increase the difficulty of each event. If they fail a dance the Chickens will become restless and start attacking the cart until they are calmed down. Too many failures and the wagon’s cage will break and the remaining chickens escape. They will then have to be rounded up and the cage repaired.
Things to Do! - Decide the delivery route - Deliver the chickens - Keep the Chickens calm
Possible Road Events 1) Rough roads cause problems 2) Yokels attempt to see what’s in the cart 3) Bad Weather swamps the road or scares the chickens 4) Pack of Coyotes causes trouble. 5) Chicken Rustlers! Protect the Flock! 6) Wagon breaks and needs repair 7) Cows in the road, someone’s herd is out. 8) Broken Bridge, not gone, just broken

ACT 4: Final Delivery

They’re now closing in on the final delivery. Something needs to happen here to cause them to put the suit on. Or maybe they never took it off! I love that idea, that one of your players just loves the suit and wants to be a chicken… lol… Anyway I’m a fan of having them need to get out of the suit for some reason, maybe a bathroom break, or they stand on a fire ant hill, or a snake slithers up their leg. You know something silly and fun. BUT the zipper is stuck! So they’ll have to try and unstick it and fast! Whatever happens they’re going to get shot at by some hunters looking for a big score who have mistaken the flailing caused by the stuck zipper to be the chicken attacking. After dealing with the Hunters they can go ahead and make the final drop. And head home.
Things to Do! - Head for the final delivery - Get shot at! - Deliver the last chickens
ENCOUNTER: That’s a BIG Chicken! Having two hunters in the field is more than enough to cause a problem for the players. The hunters will almost certainly surprise the players, but you can allow them a perception check, if they succeed they’ll see the hunters just before the muskets go off. It would be OK to down the Chicken Player here if the hunters successfully hit it. They’ll have healer’s kits on hand because, well, this seems to happen to them a lot out here. After the initial attack the players can decide to attack back or try and talk the hunters down. A basic Bandit or Scout stat block should do will for the hunters. If you’re looking for a bit more mayhem, if the hunters miss the players you could have them hit the cage, and you know, bust it open. This may be especially tempting if they
POSSIBLE ENCOUNTER: Big Ol' Frog So there is a giant frog hiding in the mud down in the creek. If a player takes cover behind the banks there is a good chance that the frog will attempt to nab the player as a snack. If it is successful in grabbing a player with its tongue it will immediately head down river, and they'll have to chase it to get their friend back.

CLOSE

When they return, Boss will reward them. How much will depend on how successful they were delivering the birds. If they did a descent job, they will be paid two day’s wages each. If they were completely successful they can have a bonus. However, if the wagon is in bad shape they might have some money deducted. After they’re paid out, they will be dismissed, and told to expect a new assignment next week.

CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent

After successfully delivering chickens Boss is going to trust them with a more important task. Their employer has requested an item to be created by Marvin the Magnificent. This is a farming community so having enchanted Farming Equipment is extremely desirable. Marvin has done a lot of basic enchantments over the years, but this new one, an The Stone Skipper, a plough whose blade goes ethereal while in contact with stones too large to push away, has really put him to the test. He needs some help with the final enchantments. The players will have to travel to the Ethereal Plane and hit the Blade of the plow with large rocks. But there’s a problem, they’re going to have mischievous Ethereal Sprites attempting to stop them! If they’re successful, which they should be, they get to take the plough for a test drive, and deal with the strange side effects of the enchantment. Angry goats that blink in and out of existence.

ACT 1: To the Tower

They’ll be summoned out to the Ranch where they’ll meet with Boss again. Once there they will notice a large pile of bent and dinged up plows. Boss will explain to them that a recent land acquisition has become problematic. The Fields are filled with large stones just under the topsoil and they’ve damaged a lot of Plow Blades. The Smithing costs are getting out of hand and so their Patron is looking for an alternate solution to the problem. He is sending them to help Marvin the Magnificent, who has taken the job, but run into some complications and needs some help. They may ask about Marvin. Or perhaps the fields that were purchased, so be ready to answer these types of questions. Once they’re done here they can head to Marvin’s Tower, which is just north of town.
Things to Do! - Meet Boss again - Ask some Informational Questions - Head for the Tower
NPC: Marvin the Magnificent Marvin Boudenbaum, AKA Marvin the Magnificent, has lived in town a good number of years, he wasn’t born here but is considered local by most folk. He is a mage of some skill, having mastered spells up to level 3 spells, and is frequently hired by locals to use his magic for anything and everything that their bumpkin brains can cook up. Thing is… Marvin has extraordinary bad luck, so bad in fact that his spellwork has a tendency to go wrong. Typically, it doesn’t go wrong in a dangerous fashion, but there was that time little Timmy Proudfoot was flung into the Astral Sea. Marvin was about to be sentenced for Negligent Magic Murdering when Timmy was suddenly returned by Captain Jinny Steampipe of the Atomic Dustbin (An Astral Spell Ship). Timmy was ok and Jinny and crew spent a few weeks spending some money and telling everyone in town amazing stories of the Astral Sea, so all was forgiven. Marvin, has since taken to having anyone who hires him sign liability waivers, you know just in case. He lives in a small tower just outside of town to the North.

ACT 2: Marvin the Magnificent

As they approach the tower they should see an explosion at the peak of the structure. It should look similar to a fireworks mishap. When it clears there will be no visible damage to the tower, But Marvin will plummet to the earth just off to the side of them, landing in a small pond. He will then come charging out of the pond, laughing hysterically, and riding on a large turtle. Once he gets a few feet away from the pond the turtle will disappear and he will tumble to the ground right in front of the players. He will leap up quickly and turn toward the players. “Behold Travelers, You stand in the presence of Marvin the Magnificent! And everything you have witness was mostly intended!” He will then strike a cool pose with his wand pointed to the sky! “Now why do you approach my tower!?”
Once Marvin finds out they’ve been sent about the plow he will become more nervous looking. “I see, well follow me. We have work to do.” He will then start walking toward the tower… his boots squishing out water. This should give them a little time to ask a few questions. Marvin will be a little subversive about what they need to do. He will attempt to frame it very mysteriously, saying things like “All will be revealed soon.” and “Save your questions! All Answers await us… in the future!” If they ask him about what they witnessed outside, he will tell them he was working on a mount summoning spell designed for lakes and rivers.
Things to Do! - Head toward the Tower - Meet Marvin - Ask Questions

ACT 3: The Cabinet of Mysteries

The inside of the Wizard’s Tower will be far more mundane than they likely expect. At least on the first floor. It will have a sitting room, dining room, and kitchen, as well as a few odds and ends about. Nothing special at all. The second floor, are Marvin’s personal quarters and some room for study, but it is the third floor, where Marvin will lead them, and it will be more of what one would expect in a Wizard’s tower. There will be books shelves, arcane equipment, and storage for components. In the middle of the room will be a tall cabinet.
Marvin will explain to them that the Cabinet is a transportation device, and that he will need them to enter into it with a plow that he has recently enchanted. They will be taken to the Ethereal Plane, and once there they’ll need to take the plow outside and begin hitting it with large field stones. There is a large pile of stones just on the north edge of the tower. They’ll have to do this quickly, before the “others” show up. Who are the others? Hard to say, but there are things that live in the Ethereal Plane that don’t like intruders. The idea is to imbue the Plow with Ethereal Powers so it can pass through large stones while plowing fields. Once they return with the Enchanted Plow, Marvin will have them load it on a cart, pulled by a very smart Donkey, and send them on their way.
Skill Challenge: Enchant the Plow This skill challenge will require five successes before they’re incapacitated by the others. However they decide to do it, they’ll have to successfully hit the plow with five large stones. Failures will result in strange indiscernible entities attacking them. They do minimal damage but could knock people out if there are enough failures.
Things to Do! - Move Through Marvin’s Tower - Enter the Cabinet - Enchant the Plow

ACT 4: Blinking Goats

Upon returning to Boss with the Plow they will be happily greet and paid. Their Patron will be there and will be very pleased with their success. He will ask them to demonstrate the plow’s abilities. Once they get set up out in the field and begin plowing something weird will happen. Every time they hit a stone and the plow’s power activates an Ethereal Goat will manifest and kick or ram the plow, and then disappear. It will feel very similar to what they encountered in the Ethereal Plane. They’ll have to find a way to deal with the manifestations.
ENCOUNTER: Ethereal Goats These goats should function very similarly to Blink Dogs, but I would trim the HP and AC a little to put them in line with the party’s. They will be intent on breaking the Plow not the party, although they will attack the party if they can’t get to the Plow.
Things to Do! - Deliver the Plow - Drive the Plow - Defeat the Ethereal Goats

CLOSE

Once defeated the Boss will come over to yell at them, but the Patron will find the entire thing amusing and more importantly, another impressive demonstration of the player’s skills. He will invite them to the “House” for an important party next week.

CHAPTER 4: High Society

They've definitely been noticed now and have impressed with their ability, unconventional as it may be. They are invited to their patron's home, but not as guests. Though, they might think they were actually invited as guests! They have been brought in to help work the event held out at the Party Field. They will have to gather party supplies, help put up the tent, and then serve the actual guests. During the evening’s entertainment a hypnotist “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will mesmerize the crowd and attempt to rob them all. Hopefully the players don’t fall victim to her schemes. And if they do oh well, they’ll be entertained all the same.

ACT 1: Special Delivery

The players arrive at the Patron’s very nice property. They will be greeted by a properly dressed servant with a clipboard, the Party Planner. The Planner will be rigid and direct. They will immediately begin tasking them about. If they mention that they were invited to the party the servant will laugh “You didn’t think you were a guest? Oh dear, how embarrassing. You’re the help! It is still a great honor to be tasked to help at the Party, but you’re not guests. Now as for your current task. Head into town and gather these supplies. Bring them to the field by noon.” After the instructions are given the servant will go back to their tasks and expect the players to do the same. They will have three stops; The Crocked Crow for Food and Beer, Get Nailed for the Tent and Spirits, and Shalana Proud-Breed’s Tailor Shop to pick up the Dry Cleaning. Feel free to make any and all of these go sideways! Its a good place to toss in some shenanigans as well! They should also be introduced to Dr Hypnotika and her associates.
Things To do! - Go to their Patron’s Home - Meet the Party Planner and Dr Hypnotika - Run their Errands
NPC: Dr Hypnotika Dr Hypnotika and her group will perform for the party. Hypnotica is a Tiefling Mezmerist and illusionist. She has an obnoxiously high charisma and some pretty serious skills to back up her claims. However, she uses those skills to beguile her guests, robbing them blind while they are under her spells. She wears a fine robe with a bedazzled headwrap. She has dark upward spiraling horns, light purple skin, and matching eyes. She wears a monocle and walks with a ceremonially carved staff depicting the "Struggles of the Universe". She is extremely persuasive and even more deceptive. Even if someone were to grow suspicious she can easily talk her way out of trouble.
NPCs: Clapper and Bob Hypnotika brings with her two assistants. Clapper the suit wearing Kenku who will perform wondrous displays of mimicry and slight of hand, and her strongman Bob the Kobold. Bob wears a leopard print strongman's outfit and is amazingly swole, particularly for a kobold, and capable of lifting upwards of 400lbs. Bob doesn't do much else other than get hit with things. in the act.

ACT 2: Put up the Tent

After they finish running their errands they will be tasked with putting up a large party tent. This Act is an ongoing Skill Challenge and should have a constantly distracted feel to it. First they have to unpack the tent. Then they have to realize some pieces are missing, they’ll have to form a solution to that problem. After that wind should cause some problems as the tent is at least being pulled up. This is a great moment for some wondrous tom-foolery.
Things To do! - Unpack the tent - Deal with missing parts - Secure the tent during the wind gusts

ACT 3: Put These On

After they finish putting up the tent they’ll be sent to the Servant’s Quarters to bathe and change. They’ll get a little time to explore and snoop if they wish. Afterward they’ll be tasked with helping in the kitchen, but unfortunately the cooks are going to have been playing a drinking game all afternoon and are no longer fully capable of doing their jobs. This would make a great moment for some sort of mini-game where the players have to determine whether or not the cooks are doing the right things. Once the dinner has been completed they will have to serve the guests. This is a good place to insert gossip and help them meet a few other folks.
Things To do! - Get changed for the party - Deal with the drunk cooks - Serve the guests drinks and food

ACT 4: An Evening to Remember

At some point in the evening things are going to start sliding downhill. Some of the locals will have become extremely inebriated and will need to be encouraged to leave, or just moved off to the side as they’ve already passed out, before the show begins. Once the show begins the locals will become fixated on the goings on. “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will have put an additive in the drinks for the that will make everyone more susceptible to her powers of persuasion. Once the show starts she will have them all doing silly things, those who drank have disadvantage on saves against her powers. She will end the show asking the guests to display their most valuable treasure, a with a hypnotic pattern and then send her assistants out to collect those treasures. The players will have to “do something” about the thieves.
Things To do! - Deal with Drunks - Watch the Show - Stop the Criminals
ENCOUNTER: Hypnotika's Gang This encounter doesn't have to be a fight. If Hypnotika is caught she may claim it was all part of the act and simple return the valuables with a "no harm, no foul" type attitude. This will be he go to in an attempt to avoid a fight, but if the character persist in some kind of retribution or punishment the situation will devolve into a combat. Hypnotica herself is an Illusionist Wizard but is low on spells after the show. Clapper is a low level rogue and Bob a Barbarian, and should play out as such. Even with Skills they are combat adverse and will be looking for an opportunity to flee rather than fight. They do have a getaway wagon out front that they'll be headed for if things go south.

CLOSE

We’re assuming the Bumpkins at least attempted to stop the robbery. This will draw a lot of attention to them. Their Patron will be well pleased with them, and let them know they will be getting much more important jobs in the future. The guests will also take note and will begin treating them all a bit better. They’re all essentially Folk Heroes at this point for secondary backgrounds. Their Patron should reward them with something very nice as the party kicks back in. They will need to finish out the nights work of course.

QUEST-LINE CLOSING

Congratulations! Your Players have completed their first Quest-line! Hopefully it was a delightful experience. But now that they've finished what comes next? Well, here are some ideas.
Reward Them! They've been doing some rather Adventurous things lately, and therefore should now have a Class Level under their belt, so the real D&D world now opens to them! Maybe it is time for some real adventuring gear. No more sticks, stones, and burlap sack armor.
Folk Heroes? There's a good chance that the Valley is Speaking the News about them and their exploits while drinking in the taverns. They may have even earned the actual Folk Hero Feat! Maybe someone would be interested in giving them a task!
Simply Go Exploring! There are a lot of places in Green Valley that we only dipped our toes into. You could have them head down to Stinkmarsh, or maybe climb up the cliffs of Longridge. The world (Well, the Valley) is wholly open to them.
Explore Local Legends There are lots of local legends they can look into! Hopefully they search out something that isn't too far over their heads!
Continue Working for their Patron It would be an easy DM go to simply to have them continue working for their current Patron. They've probably been impressive enough fo a family to be interested in keeping them on.
Establish Themselves as Adventurers! Maybe they want to set up a Adventurers for Hire business? This "Heroes Guild" approach is really appealing to a lot of players and absolutely plays into Bumpkin Quest. Just remember, this is a place of low key problems that locals make really big deals out of. So the idea of slaying dragons shouldn't really be on the table... that is until an actual dragon shows up! Which one day absolutely should.

North Eastern regions are endowed with beautiful scenery and enduring cultures. The enormous area at the foot of the mountain is home to a rich history of festivals, art, and culture. As we enter this peaceful oasis, the tropical splendour of India takes on a whole new dimension. The region's widely dispersed archaeological artefacts tell volumes about the mythological importance of this section of the nation; the North East of our country is proof of our rich cultural legacy. You will experience the history of steadfast faith and long-held traditional beliefs on an incredible north east tour package on the IRCTC website
Northeast India is home to many tourist destinations offering adventure, entertainment, culture, and history. The northeastern states, which stretch from Assam to Arunachal Pradesh, are abundant in natural resources, flora, fauna, lush green cover, tea garden of Assam; its food and scenic beauty never fail to mesmerize anyone.
Northeast India is for those who admire nature and are full of adventurous souls. The north-eastern part of India is rich in flora and wildlife, much of which is also region-specific. They include the One Horned Rhino habitat in Kaziranga National Park, the Loktak Lake, the Nohkalikai Waterfall, and the Living Root Bridges. There are numerous tribes and individuals from different ethnic backgrounds living in these Indian states, which are tucked away among the Garo and Khasi hills. Many people find it almost humorous how closely and firmly these groups are tied to their customs and ways of life.
Must visit destination

• Seven sister waterfalls
• Kaziranga National Park
• Majuli Island
• Tsomgo Lake, Sikkim
• Tawang Monastery, Arunachal Pradesh
• Ziro Valley, Arunachal Pradesh
• Cherrapunji and Mawsynram, Meghalaya
• Loktak Lake, Manipur
• Mawlynnong Village, Meghalaya
• Tripura Sundari Temple, Tripura
• Double Decker Living Root Bridge
• Laitlum Canyon
• Dawki River
• Nagula Lake
• Roing
• Namdapha National Park
• Kamakhya Temple

You will undoubtedly remember this trip because there are so many interesting places to see. A unique experience is to get a cup of freshly brewed tea and meander among these lush tea farms and breathe the fresh air. Hurry up and book the incredible north east tour package. To know more about this north east tour package, visit the official IRCTC Tourism website at www.irctctourism.com. Check out more tour packages like Jaipur Local Sightseeing, and Jewels Of Rajasthan on the IRCTC website.

Source:"https://tourismirctc.blogspot.com/2023/05/explore-incredible-north-east-tour-with.html"