Hi guys,
​
Is there any 3rd party Windows 11 system repair tools that are not just doing junk file remover & system booster type of work while claiming to be repairers?
My install has tens perhaps 100+ system files corrupt and I don't think I can manually download and replace them one by one so I need such a highly technical software tool to do the online search and replacing work for me. Specifically it needs to be able to fix a corrupt shell which is giving me total black screen with no task bar and start menu at all, although I can run individual programs from the task manager painstakingly. I've run both SFC and DISM but it did not work. The log file generated from those processes says even the corresponding files in the repair source are corrupt.
Reinstalling the system is not something I can consider given the collateral damage.
Thanks for reading and any tips offered.

Chapter 4: The Dew
We have a new cast member for this chapter! Her name is Molly, and let’s just say she’s the MVP.
It was almost noon when I woke up. Faaaaack! I scrambled to get dressed, slap on a little makeup, put my hair in purple pigtails, ask myself whether I was dolling myself up for FPB or for Axton... Yeah, that was a no-brainer. I engaged in basic some humaning (brushing teeth, applying deodorant, etc.), spritzed on some men’s cologne called Spicebomb (FPB really was kind of right about that), put on my new shoes, and dashed out the door. I looked at my phone to see if I had a missed call or an angry text from FPB. Nope. Good! He must have still been passed out.
I Ubered to FPB’s place to get my car, then I drove back to Sage’s house and parked on the side of the street. There were four Molly Maid vehicles in the driveway. I checked the door. It was unlocked. Was it possible that my absence might have gone unnoticed? As I entered the house, I could hear one of the professional cleaners yelling at Sage. I’ll call her Molly.
Molly: I’m charging you TRIPLE! I had to call in SIX extra girls. We clean up vomit, pee pee, poo poo, and your house smells like a distillery! You are nasty, nasty people!
I was damn near pissing myself laughing. One of the professional cleaners swooped past me, and I felt embarrassed to even be associated with these nasty, nasty people (even though all of them except for FPB had been super nice to me).
I found my way into the kitchen and accidentally interrupted Sage and Athena arguing over who was going to pay the cleaning bill. Sage was in favor of splitting it between the chummers, and Athena was in favor of sticking Mori with the bill since his nasty, nasty rules caused the nasty, nasty mess.
I cleared my throat so it didn’t seem like I was eavesdropping.
Athena: OP! Hey! Where have you been all morning?
Me: I ran home to get some sleep. The snoring was pretty loud...
Athena: I hear ya. We sleep in Sage’s bedroom, but Mori makes all the others sleep in the War Room or on the porch. You might be able to convince him to let you sleep in the guest room tonight?
Me: Isn’t it your house, Sage? I’ll play by your rules.
Sage: Yeah, but Mori’s in charge during Shadowrun weekends.
Damn, this really was starting to feel like a fucking cult. But I still found Mori hella amusing despite all his absurdities.
Me: Hey, guys? How much hell am I about to catch from FPB?
Sage: That would be... none. He’s still passed out in the backyard.
I made my way to the porch. I guess the cleaning crew hadn’t gotten there yet. There were toppled cups, empty liquor bottles, and several piles of puke on the porch; and the distinct scent of boozy pee clashed in an act of olfactory violence with the scent of stale vomit. I didn’t even want to take a single step outside. I was wearing my brand new shoes, after all! But the rest of my outfit was blissfully casual.
FPB’s absurdly formal clothes were draped over the hammock, and he was sprawled across a lawn chair in nothing but his black boxer briefs, snoring like a freight train.
Axton was sitting on a dry patch of the steps that led down to the yard, smoking a cigarette, and drinking what I hoped was coffee. Snorlax was passed out in the inflatable kiddie pool. And Mori was nowhere to be seen. Axton turned around and noticed me. Surely he didn’t remember trying to kiss me the night before. I mean, I kind of hoped that he did... but it would make my life a whole lot easier if he didn’t.
Axton: OP! Where did you run off to after you put us to bed?
Me: I went to sleep.
Axton: Where?
Me: Ummmm...
Axton: I won’t say anything to FPB, don’t worry.
I wanted to believe him. “I went home. I wanted to sleep in my own bed, and I wanted to have my car in case I get tired again. I seriously can’t keep up with you guys.”
Axton: That’s probably not anything to be ashamed of. Wanna come sit? Have a smoke?
I scanned the porch. “I’m not sure where it’s safe to step.”
Axton put his cig in the ashtray and stood up. “Combat boots to the rescue.”
He crossed the porch, picked me up, and carried me to the puke/pee/booze-free step. As he was putting me down his hand very deliberately grazed the length of my spine. Guess he remembered... I couldn’t seem to pull my hand off his shoulder, nor could I seem to take my eyes off his lips. But just then, FPB stirred. And he roared, “UNHAND MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”
He tried to stand, but his tall, hungover ass just withered to the ground.
Me: Good morning! Don’t worry. He was just helping me protect my new shoes.
FPB: So help me, Pretty Boy. If you touch my girlfriend again, I WILL END YOU.
Axton: Just trying to be gentlemanly, buddy. You want some coffee?
FPB grunted.
Axton turned to me. “You want some, too?”
FPB: DO NOT SPEAK TO HER, YOU FUCKING SKIDMARK.
Me: I’m good. I’ll hit Mori up for some coke later on.
Axton laughed and headed to the kitchen.
FPB: YOU WILL NOT GET COKE FROM MORI. I WILL LITERALLY KILL HIS (expletive slur deleted) ASS IF HE GIVES YOU COKE.
Snorlax was stirring in the kiddie pool.
Snorlax: FPB... Chill, bro. Seriously. God damn. You’re gonna pop a vein in your forehead.
Okay, it’s finally time to pause and give you guys some background on my relationship with FPB. It might be mildly triggering for some, so apologies in advance.
He repulsed me at first. I thought he was a snob, I hated his beard, and his circus freak height intimidated me a little. But he managed to humanize himself. He feigned vulnerability. He was attentive and affectionate (at first). And when we finally went on a proper date, it was actually pretty romantic. Plus, he had cool Bioshock tattoos! I wouldn’t find out about his Shadowrun tramp stamp until a bit later.
And I felt like I was gaining some maturity by looking past the unsightly beard, the constantly furrowed brow, and the shocking amount of time he spent standing on the most random soapboxes one could possibly imagine. I’ll also shoehorn in the fact that he had been “dating” a possessive, obsessive legbeard and I found myself feeling like a white knight for helping him out of that annoying situationship.
FPB’s triumphant, and probably fabricated, stories of his past facilitated empathy. He had dropped out of college to join the Peace Corps. He once pulled over to save a child from a burning vehicle. He had been bullied in middle school for being the only boy in the Color Guard. Blah, blah, blah. It was mostly a load of bollocks, and I’ll save the ridiculous details for another story. But his displays of affection in the early stages of our cursed courtship seemed sincere, and I believed him when he said that my “being there for him” was helping him grow as a person. What a rube I was.
The emotional connection gradually ran deeper as a result of FPB’s exceptionally well-rehearsed vulnerability act, but it was hardly a romance novel. After several relatively normal “getting to know each other” months, I discovered that FPB had been notoriously promiscuous in the past. A lothario, through and through. Many women apparently knew all about the “ladies’ man maître D” in midtown Wellsprings who would go home with absolutely ANYONE.
And I soon figured out that he had not left his promiscuous past behind him... at all. But even if I hadn’t become aware of his reputation, I could often smell his sexual escapades once he felt confident enough to interact with me immediately after he’d gone muff diving. His beard stank like a turtle tank, with heavy top notes of body odor and microwaved fish, and undertones of stale urine, dingleberries, and sometimes a gentle waft of rotting tampon.
He’d also had to treat his foul flavor-saver for pubic lice on a few occasions. I know I mentioned his beard crabs earlier, but it bears repeating (if only for the cringe). I can’t even begin to explain how humiliating the state of his beard was for me. I take care of all manner of personal hygiene, and I’ve certainly never had CRABS. To be known as the girlfriend of such a nasty beardo must have caused at least a few people to reasonably assume that I had a crab-infested crotch and a serious case of junk funk. #notmyjunk
Hindsight tells me that I didn’t care about his philandering because I wasn’t in love with him. His company wasn’t particularly enjoyable since he spent most of our time together complaining about “losers” on the internet and lambasting the insufferable management at the restaurant where he worked. But he could carry on lengthy conversations about luxury fragrance, which was... harmless. Plus, I enjoyed the idea of having a “boyfriend” since I was approaching 30.
And FPB could convincing behave like the *perfect gentleman* on the rare occasions when we attended respectable social events together. So all of my friends thought I’d won the dating lottery by landing myself a quirky, intelligent, polite, and visually striking boyfriend. This dreadful dating experience tempts me to spout some unsolicited advice along the lines of, “Wait for the right *connection* with a person who makes your life more enjoyable, and don’t get hung up on your relationship status... YOU are enough.” But perhaps that’s something we all have to realize for ourselves.
Aside from the philandering, things ran pretty smoothly back when FPB was still keeping “the crazy” under wraps. His goblinization unfolded in tiny, almost imperceptible increments. And by the time he had become a full-blown possessive lunatic, every attempt to end things with him resulted in death threats, slander, vandalism, bomb threats, or false police reports. I could easily write an entire lengthy story about every disastrous breakup attempt. But they wouldn’t be amusing stories. At least this current story has moments that I can try to frame as humorous, largely thanks to the Shadowrun crew.
I suppose the most honest answer as to why I had given FPB chance after chance is that I had absolutely NO prior experience being emotionally close to severely mentally unstable people. I’m one of the lucky ones who has never suffered from mental illness aside from occasional situational depression and some mild body images issues when I was a teenage girl on the high school drill team. I grew up in a loving family. And the only other serious romantic relationship I’d had prior to FPB fell apart because we were just in different stages of life (he was quite a bit older), and we eventually found ourselves unable to relate to one another. Nothing horrifying.
FPB was much closer to my age, we had common interests, and he was a (seemingly) genuine gentleman at first. Our relationship was like Beauty and the Beast... in reverse. I’m not so much comparing myself to Belle as I’m comparing FPB to a kind-hearted prince who gradually transformed into a stomping, snarling, tantrum-throwing BEAST.
Any desire that I’d ever felt for him died from poon fume inhalation. And FPB was pitifully butt-hurt when I closed the cookie to him. And despite displaying no interest in showing affection towards me, despite having countless randos at whom he could wiggle his whisky wang, despite griping incessantly about my terrible personality, my wretched taste in music, and my annoying sense of humor, he refused to end the relationship.
But if I so much as spoke to another man, FPB would call the police and report him as a TCAP Story, vandalize his property (usually with poop and/or semen), stalk him relentlessly, or make a slanderous website, crudely photoshopping the poor guy’s face onto obscene images that he got off the deepest, dingiest, most dumpster-fiery recesses of the dark web. This “retaliation technique” would eventually get his ass incarcerated, but not until many, many unfortunate girlfriends later.
Everyone had always told me that, “Relationships are HARD.” Guys, gals, non-binary pals... if you ever feel the need to cough out this fetid tonsil stone of “wisdom,” please operationally define the word “HARD.” If a relationship feels like a prison sentence and you find yourself fearing for your safety or for the safety of your loved ones, that isn’t “hard.” That is coercive control. RUN. But never forget that running is often much, mucheasier said than done. There’s no shame in getting help from friends, family, and law enforcement.
​
So, where were we? Snorlax was telling FPB to chill out, Axton was going to get some coffee for the lanky, bearded ball of rage, and I was standing on the one clean step, hoping the cleaning crew would come outside and save us all.
FPB was flailing about, trying to achieve a sitting position. Snorlax seemed to have gone back to sleep. And Axton returned to the porch with a cup of coffee and a bottle of water. He made his way down to FPB.
FPB: You’d better stay far, FAR away from her for the remainder of the weekend.
Me: Funky, he’s helping your hungover ass. And he hasn’t been inappropriate towards me in any way.
(That was kind of a lie. But I suppose it all depends on what you consider “inappropriate.”)
FPB harumphed.
Me: I promise you that I’ll punch him in the face if he makes me uncomfortable. Otherwise, please let me get to know your friends. You said that was an important part of the weekend.
Axton sat down the hangover remedies next to FPB’s lawn chair.
Axton: You want some Advil?
FPB nodded, and Axton took the pills out of his pocket and handed them over. FPB washed the pills down, took a few sips of lukewarm coffee, and leaned back in the chair, groaning miserably.
I sat down on the clean step and lit up a cigarette. Axton left FPB to his own devices and approached me cautiously. I gestured for him to come sit next to me. Axton grinned sheepishly, took his cig out of the ashtray, and sat down on the step. I wanted to keep FPB under control, so I said under my breath, “We’d better sit about two feet apart.”
Axton and I both scooched away from one another, the ashtray serving as a buffer, and we continued to speak quietly so that FPB’s hungover groans would drown out our conversation.
Axton: Are you really gonna punch me?
Me: Are you gonna make me uncomfortable?
His grin faded a bit, “Have I made you uncomfortable? If I did, I’m so sorr...”
I made eye contact with him and held it for about 3 seconds longer than I would have held friendly eye contact and replied with my own sheepish grin, “Not at all.”
​
Snorlax was sitting up by that time and he seemed to be in a world of hurt as well.
Axton: Yo, Snor! You need some hangover helper, too?
Snorlax (groaning): Pleeeeeeease.
Axton got up to fetch Snorlax some coffee, water, and pills. Those combat boots were going to need to get hosed down before he went back inside. Especially with Molly and her pissed off crew still at the house.
In fact, I could hear Molly screeching at Sage again.
Molly: There’s more mess on the porch? What sort of mess? More poo poo? A lake of liquor? You people are ANIMALS. I’m never cleaning your house again!!!
Sage: Ummm... I think it’s just booze and pee. You should be able to just power wash it.
Axton: There’s a ton of puke out there, too.
Molly: Jesus, save us all.
Axton ran to Snorlax and delivered the hangover helper.
Axton: Dude! The maids are on their way, and they’re pissed off. We gotta disappear.
I put my cigarette out, stood up, and dashed over to FPB, who was still reclining in the lawn chair with a pained expression on his face.
Me: Funky? The maids are coming. We need to get out of here.
FPB: And go where?
Me: I don’t know! I’ve never done this before. I think Axton knows, but I’m afraid to talk to him.
FPB: HEY, FUCK-FACE. Where are we running off to?
Axton: Garage! Go around the side of the house.
Axton helped Snorlax stagger around to the garage, and FPB managed to wobble to his feet. As he was standing up, I noticed a whisky wee aroma and an extra dark patch of fabric near the crotch of his black underpants. While I guided him to the garage, I tried my darndest to keep his wet boxer briefs away from my clean shirt. His crotch was level with my mid-section, so I curved my body away from him and let him basically use my shoulders and arms as a walker. In the end, we all managed to enter the garage though the side door. It was dusty, musty and stuffy, but it was blissfully devoid of puke and pee. Well, aside from FPB’s underpants.
Sage must have anticipated that we’d take shelter from the angry maids in the garage because he came out from the house and opened the garage doors for us, letting in a nice breeze.
Sage: You guys good?
We all indicated the affirmative.
Sage: Excellent. Mori should be back from the liquor store pretty soon. And he’s picking up hangover food, too.
Snorlax: What’s he getting?
Sage: Taco Bell.
Seriously? Not only were they having to restock the booze, but they were also planning to chow down on Taco Bell to help with the hangovers? There was no way in hell that was going to help.
At any rate, FPB and Snorlax were chugging the remainder of their hangover helper and seemed to be gradually getting their sea legs back. Axton had apparently been awake a little longer than they had, so his hangover seemed to have passed. I’m just assuming this since I was forbidden to speak to him. And with the only two non-hungover people there forbidden to speak to one another, the garage was eerily silent.
We were all sitting on the dusty floor and FPB, still wearing nothing but wet boxer briefs, tried to pull me into his lap.
Me (getting up and crossing the room): HELL NO. You peed yourself. I’m not sitting in your lap until you go wash up and put on some clean underpants.
FPB: It’s not pee. It’s dew.
Axton: It’s piss, bro. I can smell it.
FPB (snarling): You shut your fuck-nugget mouth, Asshat.
Wow, Axton’s ability to exhibit no reaction at all to FPB’s venom was impressive. I might have to try that and see if it would work for me.
Snorlax: He’s right. It’s definitely pee. No shame, though. I wet my pants, too. I had to get up and change at like... 6 in the morning. It sucked.
FPB: OP, please get over yourself and come sit by me.
Me: No lap sitting.
FPB: Fine.
Me: Do you want me to go get your backpack so you can change?
“Chill out, Miss Uptight! We all wet our pants every weekend. It’s tradition,” he said as he wound his long arms around me from the side.
I felt like I was in a cage. I rolled my eyes, and I think Axton noticed my exasperated expression because I could see him snickering.
FPB: What’s funny, you DICK?
Axton composed himself, and Snorlax gallantly stepped up to save us.
Snorlax: He’s laughing cause I farted. Sorry.
Always a sucker for bathroom humor, I burst out laughing. Axton started laughing again, Snorlax started laughing, lifted a cheek and really did rip one this time. The butt wind even kicked up a little dust from the garage floor. That made all the reasonable people in the garage laugh even harder. But not FPB. No, he was fuming.
FPB: What the hell is really so fucking FUNNY? Someone fess up to me or I’m gonna start flaying you bitches.
Axton: Dude. For real. We’re laughing at a fart. (more laughter)
Snorlax (also laughing): Yeah, just the thought of Taco Bell gave me gas.
FPB’s fury just made it even funnier, and all of us were in stitches.
FPB: I know you’re all laughing at ME.
Yeah, I guess it did kind of start off that way. But by the time his rage was hitting the boiling point, we really were just behaving like overgrown children and laughing hysterically at a fart. And everything was ten times funnier because we had this “stick in the mud” sitting there getting outrageously offended by the laughter. You know the feeling, right? When you’re not supposed to laugh at something, it becomes even harder not to laugh? Or is that just me?
FPB: I’m getting dressed now. OP, come help me. You two jabronis can stay in here and laugh at each other’s farts.
Instead of heading to the hammock in the back yard where FPB’s clothes presumably remained, he entered the house through the garage door and headed straight for the guest room to retrieve his backpack. Good. Maybe he was at least going to put on some clean underpants.
But, no. He wasn’t. That would have taken away from the repulsive debauchery that his whizzy boxer briefs allowed him to revel in. He really needed to settle on a story. Was he such a wild, crazy party boy that he was too cool to care that he’d wet his pants? Or was he a pathetic drunk who’d passed out and managed to collect afternoon dew in the crotch of his boxer briefs (and nowhere else on his body)? We’ll never know. His Shadowrun tramp stamp was in full view as he bent down and grabbed his wallet from his black leather backpack. He then marched into the kitchen and told Sage, “Bring me a maid.”
Sage: Ummm... they’ve got their hands pretty full at the moment.
FPB produced a hundred-dollar bill from his wallet. “I want my clothes steam cleaned. And I’ll need them spritzed with perfume. Athena’s got some here, doesn’t she?”
Sage: Yeah... But you’re gonna have to ask HER if you want to use her perfume. And you’re gonna have to ask the cleaning crew to steam your clothes. They’re all pretty annoyed with me over the condition of the house. There’s a new head maid. I’m having to pay TRIPLE the normal cleaning fee, dude.
In my mind, the considerate action would have been to forego the steaming and offer the cash to Sage, since FPB’s sparkle vomit and spilled liquor definitely contributed to the mess. Instead, FPB exited through the front door, made his way around to the backyard, and began removing his clothes from the hammock. The maids shrieked. FPB ignored the shrieks, gathered his clothes, and sauntered back into the house. Once we were back indoors, we could hear Molly going over the bill with Sage.
FPB: AHEM. Madam, I need these clothes steam cleaned.
He thrust his suit and the hundred-dollar bill in her direction.
Molly: Excuse me??? We were hired to clean this disgusting house. You want your clothes steamed, go to the drycleaners.
She sniffed the air.
Molly: And go take a shower. You smell like a diaper.
I stepped in. “Hey. Sage? Do you mind if I steam FPB’s clothes in the guest bathroom?”
Sage: Fine by me.
I pulled FPB aside. “Give me your clothes. You peed in your sleep after you took you suit off right?”
FPB: IT’S DEW.
Me: It doesn’t matter. Your underwear’s wet and you need to put on a dry pair. In the meantime, I’ll go in the bathroom, hang your clothes up, get the room steamy from the shower, and then they’ll at least be a little less wrinkled. We used to do it all the time in college.
FPB: But those bitches have professional equipment. If they can steam carpet, they can steam a suit.
Me: I think it’s a different type of steamer.
FPB: Oh, you’re an expert on steamers?
Me: Not the Cleveland kind.
Damn it, Mori would have appreciated my attempt at an obvious dirty joke.
FPB harumphed, and I put the plan into action. I turned the shower on as hot as it would go, sifted through FPB’s suit components carefully to make sure his pants were dry. Fortunately, they were. I hung the clothes as close to the shower curtain as I could without getting them wet and sat down to try and enjoy the steam room and the solitude. Maybe it would make me feel refreshed? But the sweetness of the solitude wouldn’t last, as I could hear a conversation taking place just outside the door.
Sage: What the hell, man? Why are you guarding the bathroom door?
FPB: I don’t want any of you pervs trying to walk in on my girlfriend while she showers.
Sage: Okay... I think she’s just in there steaming your fancy clothes.
FPB: She might be taking a shower, too. NAKED. I have to protect her from the male gaze.
Sage: Well... I’ve got a girlfriend. Mori’s not here, and Snorlax and Axton are both stand-up dudes.
FPB: I don’t trust Axton. I caught him picking her up on the porch, and then he tried to TALK TO HER.
Sage: “Picking her up” as in the crap you pull at work all the time? Or literally “picking her up” so she didn’t step in puke?
FPB: Uh... he made some lame excuse.
Sage: So... Picking her up so she didn’t step in puke. What a jerk.
FPB: Right?!
Sage: Listen, man. The door locks. And she’s a grown woman. Leave her alone for five minutes, for fuck’s sake. And put on some clean underwear.
FPB: IT’S DEW.
When I couldn’t take the steam anymore, I turned off the shower, retrieved FPB clothes, which did look spiffier, and opened the door to inhale the fresh, cool air. Ahhh! And the lovely cleaning crew had managed to get rid of the “poopy-pee-puke-pizza” pungency.
Apparently, being lightly mocked by the “vice principal” had embarrassed FPB enough to make him go find something better to do. No one was outside the door at that moment. I gathered FPB’s clothes, carried them to the guest room, and laid them out on the bed.
Now to find my seething anger ball of a boyfriend. Best guess? He was back in the garage, yelling at Axton and Snorlax. So that’s where I checked first.
I entered the garage from the house, and found Sage, Athena, Axton, Snorlax, and Mori all sitting around enjoying some Taco Bell and drinking beer. No FPB.
Me: Hey, guys! Have any of you seen a tall, angry guy in wet boxer briefs?
Mori: He’s on the back porch. Said he had to call his work.
Ah, yes. “Work.” That meant he was texting one of his randos. Probably the one who showed up at Sage’s house late last night.
Me: Beer me?
They all answered with a validating chorus of “Hell yeah,” and, “Go girl!”
I grabbed a beer from the cooler and scanned the room for a place to sit. Axton stood up and led me over to his spot.
Axton: Hey, guys! Who am I?
And then he pulled me onto his lap, wrapped his arms around me and started shouting in a caveman voice, “MY GIRLFRIEND. MINE. NO TALKING TO HER. DON’T EVEN LOOK OR I’LL STAB YOU IN THE EYEBALL.”
Everyone, including me, found this incredibly funny. And I was pleased to see that the whole team was acknowledging FPB’s absurdly possessive behavior. Maybe if the people he respected most in this world called him out on his insane possessiveness, he would reflect? Yeah, let’s see how that goes...
I stayed in this far too comfortable position for a minute or so. Axton was more muscular than FPB and he wasn’t “circus-freak tall,” so his lap was a much better fit. But I knew that if FPB rounded the corner and caught me sitting in another guy’s lap, he’d flip. Especially since my position in Axton’s lap had happened purely to make a mockery out of FPB. I leaned into him for a few more seconds, then slid over into my own cold, hard, lonely space.
Guess I needed to do some reflecting, too... Not because I was finding myself attracted to a guy who wasn’t my boyfriend. My boyfriend was a psycho and I needed to reflect on why I hadn’t been able to find an exit strategy that didn’t lead to terroristic threats or stalking.
Mori: I think I’ll add a new punishment tonight. But only for FPB. If he glitches, he has to sit in my lap and let me paw all over him. See how he likes it.
Me: Be sure to get a raging boner and jab him in the hip with it.
I couldn’t tell if the laughing that ensued was because I’d made a crude joke to the perfect audience or because I had unintentionally “called” the inevitable.
Mori (in a deliberately creepy tone): Oh, that won’t be a problem.
We laughed again.
And then, all the fun was sucked from the garage. FPB entered from the driveway and demanded to know what was funny.
Sage: Mori’s cooking up new punishments.
FPB: That’s... terrifying.
Me: Hey, I put your clothes in the guest room if you want to get dressed.
FPB: M’kay. I’m getting a beer first.
He cracked open a beer and headed inside. As he towered in the doorway, he turned to me.
FPB: You coming?
Mori: You need your girlfriend to help you put your clothes on? Are you in kindergarten?
FPB: Eat a dick, Mori.
Mori: Sounds delicious.
FPB shuddered and trudged inside. He hadn’t made any more demands that I accompany him, so I let him go put on his big boy pants all by himself.
*end of Chapter 4
As always, thank you so, so much for reading!
Hope to see you back for The Lap of Luxury!

Angel of madness: In the land of the mortals, there lived an average ad. Average in every fucking way possible, named Junk. So imagine his shock when a god appointed him as a champion to basically be a comedian, and bring back comedy. Unknown to him, 12 others came before him and all failed. Thai was devastating news, But the mortal was determined to Carry on. Oh and the powers given to him by the horseman, that probably helped plenty. When he heard the thunderstriders he went “Hey, i could make them laugh, which would help in the mission” and eventually joined, which is a pretty big acc-
The angel of madness Sees the requirements and visibly looks disappointed
Angel of madness: They literally just need to like you and You just have to be heroic. Nevermind what i said. Junks still pretty damn cool for a mortal though! Maybe he could be an angel of comedy… Nevermind. Well, just because he's average doesn't mean he's cool, because if you look at his abilities, THere really damn Good!
ANgel of madness: In Base, He has pretty good Martial arts skills, Being a black belt in karate! He can make a portal to the marathon verse, we'll talk more about that later. He has Battlefield removal, as Anyone who goes inside the Marathon verse, Will not be allowed To escape unless he wants them too. He has plenty of resistances To power nuflication and other crap, but peach doesn't really have any of it so we may as well not mention it. He was able to blow up a 1k m long whale in a single punch! HE also completely demolished the Greenland center skyscraper! That is strong enough to destroy Multiple city blocks. He did this using explosives! He can bypass durability using his conbust gun, Unless you're holy.
Angel of madness: Speaking of the greenland skyscraper feat, he's durable enough to survive it! But now it's time for his arsenal! He has a frag Launcher, which shoots bouncy grenades! Rocket jump, where he has explosives go on the ground to launch him in the air! He can summon sentient Bear Traps that chase the target! Q combusta gun that shoots holy flames! Hell yeah, My type of weapon baby! He also has avoidance and Reality warping! Now his strongest sort of weapon: His Crown! It makes him go to the Marathon Verse, WHich makes him IMMEASURABLE! HE was able to defeat AU Godzilla which destroyed the marathon verse in one STOMP! It also gives him Energy manipulation, Mid regeneration, Existence erasure By using speed shake! Fate, concept, and plot manipulation! Mind manipulation by using hold up, Vibration manipulation, Dimensional manipulation, memory erasure, invisibility and intangibility via Avoidance, and clairvoyance
ANgel of madness: And that wraps it up for my favorite mortal! He really shows that looks can be deceiving. Also, take a shot for every “Manipulation”, I Dare You!
SIde Note: don't do that.
Snail: The Mushroom Kingdom would be a great place to live if you like mushrooms! But it’s ruler Princess Peach is no push over! What you thought she was only some damsel in destress? Not even close home boy!
Peach may often be kidnapped by Bowser but she shows she hang with the best of them! She can hit Bowser so hard he goes flying into the horizon with her umbrella! She can beat you down with her frying pan, golf club and even more! Let’s not forget her power ups! She can use the fire flower to shoot fire balls, the cat suit to climb up surfaces and scratch at enemies, the mega mushroom to turn into a giant and even more! That’s not even talking about her bubble that can defend her from attacks! She can use her heart magic to summon sheep from the sky and make foes sleep, heal herself and even use her own rear as a powerful weapon. Don’t you dare!
She was born as one of the 7 Star children giving her unimaginable power! For reference the others are Donkey Kong who punched the moon out of the sky, Wario who can survive blasts that split the clouds, Bowser who survived being thrown into a black hole and Mario and Luigi the two most powerful and somehow competent fighters in the Mario series! Although Peach may not be as strong as these guys she’s definitely close in power at the least!
But when kidnapped she can sneak out letters from her cage that somehow make it to Mario who can be worlds away? That makes no sense! What the hell! For all that sneak out yourself!
Anyway Peach is clearly a skilled fighter being able to stand with the likes of Mario and Luigi who have been on tons of adventures and have been trained by tons of masters!
Peach has one final ace up her sleeve! The war fan! This power fan is powerful enough to make the toughest look like coughing babies fighting a hydrogen bomb!
So while she may seem dainty and frail know this princess is one you don’t wanna cross!

Hello, I'm wondering if my backyard would be a good or bad space for artifical grass. I live in Camas, WA so lots of rain and some snow in the wintertime. There are evergreen trees in the neighbor's backyard that drop their needles all year long. They aren't the typical pine trees that shed a lot but I'm not sure what kind it is. Otherwise, we have bamboo, honeysuckle, and a camellia tree that drop their leaves.
The yard needs a lot of work so we plan to remove the grass and weeds. We'll either put rocks or artificial grass in its place, but I'm not sure if it'd be too much maintenance, or if there's something else I'm not thinking of. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you!
https://imgur.com/a/sEJ5rXq

The rules of the internet are... strange, so i set out to decipher them with my broski: ChatGPT. A few things: Some rules are placed strangely in the undeciphered rules, hence why 32 is in the *blush* section. Sections without titles are sections with random junk.
​

1. We dont talk about Board /b/ or random board on 4chan.
   
2. I want to emphisize that we dont talk about said /b/ board.
   

​
-Anonymous Rules-
​

1. Nobody Knows who you are until removing your anonymity.
   
2. Anonymity is like a legion, as you can do anything with anyone.
   
3. If you are Anonymous, you dont have to forgive anyone.
   
4. If you are Anonymous, you can be a terrible person.
   
5. But: Anonymous people can be kind.
   

​
-Posting Rules-
​

1. There are no actual rules about posting, as the site devs didnt create them.
   
2. There arent any real rules about moderation, as the site devs arent the mods.
   
3. If you use a site made to rival another site, nobody will like you.
   
4. If you carefully pick your fights, you wont be acknowledged.
   
5. Anything you say will eventually come back to you as it can be traced back to you.
   
6. Anything you say, make, do, etc, can be taken in the wrong way.
   
7. Trolls will win any fights they start as peopele think theyre "funny" enough to help.
   
8. If you try very hard, then fail, you will fail very hard.
   
9. But, if you fail in a funny way, then you will be known.
   
10. If you win, that win will soon wear off, the hype, the effect, everything.
    
11. Any topics/Lables can be hated.
    

(32 counts in this section, but in the og list was with the *Blush* rules)
​
-Content Rules-
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1. If you hate it, you are practically helping it, as you are telling people about it and spite watching it.
   
2. Nobody is likely or made to be taken seriously.
   
3. The original content is only original until the first repost or meme.
   
4. Copypastas are made to destroy original content and take advantage of r21.
   
5. R23 is a direct 1-1 copy of 22, its meant to tell give an example for r22.
   
6. Reposts are Reposts of Past Reposts, as a repherence of rules 20, 21, and 22.
   
7. All relation to a topic eventually is removed and becomes off topic, because of rules 8 and 9.
   

​
-Who? Rules-
​

1. You have the privilege to question what gender a person likes.
   
2. You also can ask a persons actual gender.
   
3. Anybody can be anything they want, due to the Anonymous sections of the rules
   
4. Nobody cares what gender you are.
   

​
-Porn Art Rules-
​

1. If you get mad at nsfw art, nobody will care about your issue with the art.
   
2. Provide Pictures for your point
   
3. If you cant find the... art, then keep looking, its somewhere as people have your same sick, strange, likes.
   
4. That... art, exists somewhere, repherencing rule 33. (this is the most popular rule of the internet)
   
5. If... it doesnt exist at the moment, because the exact reason of the end of the translated r33
   

(r46 relates to here, but it was in a random section)
​

1. There will be something even more discusting than what you've seen, someone will make it if not yet.
   
2. You cannot device by 0, it either will break or just not let you.
   
3. The internet has no sky, so therefor: there isnt any limit to what you can do.
   
4. caps lock is taking the easy way out of trying to be cool.
   
5. a continuation of r39: if you want to get cool off of caps lock, you still have to work for it: type cool.
   
6. Desu is a very overused meme, so much so that an entire 41st rule had to be made.
   

​
-Corruption Rules-
​

1. Nothing is immune to rules 33, 34, and 35.
   
2. The more people like it, the more people will see the... art of it, so the more it will grow.
   
3. Posting about a japanese thing can be enough so you can be called a weeaboo.
   

​

1. If there is a dangerous thing on the road, get inside your car. It repherences a meme like "Invincible moose in 1 mile.".
   
2. There will be a furry version of its nsfw art, repherencing r34
   
3. The "Pool's Closed" copypasta is overused, referencing the pools closed copypasta surrounding the 2006 game Habbo Hotel
   

​
Quick closing notes: the rules were writen on the /b/ board, going against r1 and 2, any rules past r47 dont exist, so the reddit rule63 is invalid, the writing of the rules ended many years ago, the exact reason is unsure. One last thing: the most seeable (?) one on dictionary,com is the original rules from 2006 when rules 1-33 didn't exist, heres the most recent one, which is still old: Pic

We are in the US, western WA state. Our front lawn is a slope down to a road. It has one very large cedar tree, a holly tree about 7ft tall and growing, 4 smaller holly trees that have popped up each about 1ft high right now, a blackberry bramble, and the entire ground around this is covered in completely out of control ivy. All of this was already established when we moved in, except the smaller holly trees that popped up this spring.
The slope is enough we have to have something that will help hold soil in place. We were planning to pull all the ivy we can and seed with clover and native wildflower seeds. We're thinking if the Holly is going to continue spreading we should take it out as well, it doesn't seem to attract any insects or critters to it's berries and is very close to the neighbor's fence.
We don't know how long it would take for the clover and flowers to fill in and don't want the soil to slide onto the road and/or destabilize the cedar tree. Does anyone have an experience or insight into a good way for us to handle this transition?
We are thinking that at some point putting in a retaining wall and leveling that area might be best, but don't have the funds to do that right now and need to improve things until that can happen. Are there any downsides you know of to removing the holly or any better ideas for stabilizing this area without using such invasive plants?

Hi everyone!! I’d appreciate some help/ advice. I am very very very VERY sadly moving away from our fair city and was wondering if anyone has any recommendations for moving companies? I’m moving up to Southeastern Michigan and I’m trying to figure out what my best options are. I only have some bedroom furniture and two desks. Here’s what I’ve considered:
1.) full service companies? Movers to put the items in a truck, drive the truck to my next location, and then unpack there. This seems costly but I like the idea of removing the hassle? 2.) renting a truck myself and hiring movers here to fill it, driving the truck to my next location myself, and then hiring a different set of movers there. This seems more economical BUT I’ve never driven a large truck before and it makes me slightly nervous. But perhaps it’s fairly easy? 3.) because the initial quotes I’ve received have been so high, my dad is telling me just to hire a junk company to THROW EVERYTHING AWAY but like Jesus that seems like a waste of money as well?
Obviously it would be more ideal to just do the moving myself but due to my circumstances that isn’t really a possibility so I have to hire some sort of help.
Thank you in advance for the help!!! Any recommendations or thoughts at all would be amazing!!

Star warrior-battleguard
https://ygoprodeck.com/deckbuilde?e=2y79kkXJ7RQDDDvt3skMwrqTTzPCsFPNAabQIBamI1MLGQpCWhhh_LXQAuY9uU-BeK9kKMPe5fmMy2Z-YeSe4csMwkdX3mJpUa1jAOGc5k5GEK6tus9YFh0Dx5uXM7OCsPClOAYYjqxOZnmv_o-l9dE3zAxAMHPVR8Z9JntYQXj_-q9g-ET5HdMS7mrW99uPMMp2TGIW-7mXAQaKSxKLFMoTi4oy84sA
https://yugiohdeck.github.io/#nSN26MpGIt3N2hRy5Mt1gPiEoEUlVDjK4iYRUcN0Al1r5W28gqjN6lvp71PpN0y02YC6bVTiofiWEjEwbZHfen1K4tu3QOns4L2kJ8Y3tZZ/Evevsxet;PjVTLbw0vq+t/Py7iPka9hdInEt+9clEDqL35F0=:star%20warrior
note: an update (more like sidegrade) to the previous version of star warrior deck. I decide to go with a version that is lean more on the warrior side with battleguards and feast of the wild. Feast of the wild is not once per turn and can is searchable by battleguard cadet and we use isolde to summon cadet from deck. So what here is several plans for the deck
- summon isolde, hopefully with 1 of the lv5, special cadet search feast, use feast to special 2 lv5 then link summon proxy f magician using isolde + cadet, fusion summon something.
- the usual plan, special thrasher, tribute it for kaiza, kaiza banish thrasher to dump kaiki. On opponent turn special kaiki to fusion summon raidjin.
double hooking is pretty decent to summon kaiki and todoroki on your turn so you can fusion something using the monster summoned by double hooking.
Phoenix blade is our recoverable discard fodder for double hooking or fusion recycling plant.
Fusion recycling plant can be used to get our 1 polymerization into rotation. Discard something and add poly from GY or deck and on end phase recover 1 fusion material from GY. It also activates on opponent turn so the fusion eff of kaiki can return 1 material to your hand which you can use as fusion material or discard fodder.
Degeneraider Machine
https://ygoprodeck.com/deckbuilde?e=i1p1ntlnmQHrs9LJTAyLBVhWLtdkkft5ivnBn3JWGHZ88p5pSX0vi1JtE4vwyRCG6SXcrHzZPCwwfNu_hCmdV51VQPsyw6WVa5l_zJ-CDMOR1cksGVXr4DjORZfVbkkh451lcsysy1yYYPjaKSc4lnSeywrCdu1XmRmAwJ-tImtD0GpWlzXTGUD42fI_MA6Y4c18VD2MEYQVr9sw-NtyFKweBNJT81KLEjNTUovicxOTMzLzUgE%7E
https://yugiohdeck.github.io/#efVLTTCmTFSbrzMEKMAYU09SvK+R5rv+cGu/kQWRSMgn0iQqZIm0LdJdgY1h2nQ/22k4azo0ysQVW1OkuUn/jjG9rLK56aOlqIvJcaQ+WPU24pEpgXSFla3Z1DGZ6sOfI=;uiDJ7atSgES9YiQjqfmmlzCglWJ8WB5rkK8W0/k=:generaider_machine
note: a somewhat modified version based on theory of deck here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUYLUXT-YE4 and https://ygoprodeck.com/deck/generaider-gadget-n-r-event-260436. The deck makes me wonder what we can do with newer generaider support (vala and laevatein) and a bunch of cheap cards IRL. And the list is somewhat the result. The gameplan is simple

1. We go 1st and summon qliphort genius using lefty-righty driver package or thetherwolf or just activate drone (just remember, hornet drone is a warrior and not a machine, link it up to kagari first)
2. Get boss stage ready either you activate on turn 1 or flip boss fight on opponent draw/standby phase
3. if your opponent add card(s) from their deck to their hand (including on draw phase), boss stage will summon dovelgus. Make sure you don't summon dovelgus on zone pointed by genius.
4. on summon of dovelgus, boss stage will spam generaider token, including to the zone pointed by genius.
5. use genius eff to search high lv machine monster, I have no idea atm what to search. You technicaly can search floodgate-y monster like spell canceller, cracking dragon or maybe gizmek uka (then uka can summon a barrier statue, but the zone is full of token if you summon it using dovelgus on step 6, so uka is more of deterrence). The high level monsters we put in there are machina citadel/fortress and some questionable gizmek card. I just want to summon gizmek okami, that's all there is.
6. Use dovelgus to tribute monster(s) pointed by genius to summon whatever you just searched. And if you summon 2 monsters at the same time, genius gets another search.

from there on we grind.
Vala is pretty good girl. We can send her as cost for kujikiri curse and can special herself from GY by sending a generaider card. If she is summoned, she can summon a generaider from hand/gy. Giving you easy access to her...I mean her xyz form, laevatein, if you so desire. But I'm a man who like big machine so I opt for mountain slicer and enterblathnir instead.
Metalfoes-ancient warrior
https://ygoprodeck.com/deckbuilde?e=W1CXwrQAiE-teseYGJbODMPL0_KYDayUWGC49usMBhiOKP7NCMOzBSoYYPjJgVnMMGw-Q5YRht9_SWKRSa1lPrA1mqlguzoLCOf92890YZ81HP9e-5L5591vDPs0eJmFdz1nFoyewBjx-CALAxAcW-uKWUPajtmxbjVjeqc7Awg3rf-HsGWbDrPyRXUGGMhNLUnMSctPLdZNzEvOTM0rUShPLCrKzC8CAA%7E%7E
https://yugiohdeck.github.io/#TI/UEe66yls6sw7XmanYRHRhiY9X3P25rGHgQm9zWByZHZg/4xenat9ZRxS3a4DCe3cJX/83KO77Q301/2j23flYaUXy+e6E0yC2IswedYQ=;fVW4yz4bKE1b8goR4lnh/V8EsstrRBPokaA=:metalfoes-ancient%20warrior
note: another metalfoes deck. Metalfoes has been the bread archetype of ygo. It is pretty servicable on its own, but you can slam a lot of things into them as long as it makes sense. This list is no different. Here is 1 of the plan:
- have a metalfoes scale set combination from deck.
- sun mou to send metalfoes combination from field to gy to get double search off sun mou and combination.
- sun mou search zhuge liang, and combination search....something to complete the scale I guess, or maybe vanisher if you have complete scale. On new chain zhuge liang special himself, sun mou can trigger to bounce opponent monster if you go 2nd.
- link summon double dragon lord, and search another sun mou.
- complete the scales and pend summon sun mou. If you want to play around nibiru you can just stop there, use the new scale to pop old scale and search another combination to end on double dragon lord + sun mou bounce eff+search off combination.
- do your metalfoes things. Which is too broad to answer. Metalfoes does not have the most obvious going 1st end board. Your pure metalfoes combo end board probably just end on mithrilium+combination+full metalfoes fusion+vanisher in ED/hand/GY in a good day. The end board gives us option to summon orichalc on opponent turn, trigger mithrilium+combination, mithrillium summon vanisher, and combination sumon mithrillium. This gives you 3 body and a banish from field or gy, and orichalc can destroy opponent card if it is sent to gy.
Therion beatdown
https://ygoprodeck.com/deckbuilde?e=879Rw_KsOoEVhB9d3Mq4_eRvFqXidGYQNt75gun9eTZWEP7f7s3IGW8Jxv9U5JlAWO20KyMIX-t9B4xXPH3GBMLJP3wZYXjZ7C_MLatcmWC4SyaLGYYjq5NZjq28xdKiWsdgt6SQMazTmzXuGi8Yr3aawuTrcZCFAQjKFwcyTe4NZlrr8JRxiUAWc33ANcb9fJ5MmdOYWZfM0maAgZKM1KLM-Lz45Py8kqL8HAA%7E
https://yugiohdeck.github.io/#j5sJ7ZAlQ42ujxM+8mzWzuZFLouTNoNn98UuH/0nK+EyHyT+ii5ZNHc+9aXNy1EU34Y8+k3TKRaqE21DkVxje1lm1U4yH4lhEuNIfNS4lWaG6y9KUQqtmCkJqA==;SnGyaeVArVtQhSJ1lB/Ukh1+0DlmlBXNUiA=:therion_control
note: The crashing price of lily borea and discoloseum gives us good opportunity to make our therion deck better. This built is based on the fum control on the previous part. We go blind 2nd nearly every time, remove the more normal summon reliant sea mare and ogier, but we add in lonefire to turbo out lily, which also require normal summon, but with better payoff. Lily can search discoloseum a field spell that basically reward you for battling opponent monster, either send a therion card to gy to replace battle destruction and recover 1 therion monster to hand if your monster is destroyed. But most of the time we use its search eff.
the mekk-knight package is there as beatstick and negation bait, they also can be used as link material and target for duke. Linkslayer works as backrow removal and discard outlet for therion monsters. the mekk-knight and linkslayer alongside therions can be used as link material for demiurgy and gives demiurgy bonus nuke effect.
BLS-Ursarctic
https://ygoprodeck.com/deckbuilde?e=O3ZwBfMxIP6-K5IFhC1nNLPC8KZ5V1lAuFF7GyMIP1-pxAzCDf4LWEG4cUU5Awy7BJxghOGrWw7B8f6WUOZvd26wgPDBQj8mEG5Z5QrHkdXJLC2qdQwgfN3QnxmEJ_xIZoJhoRNvGUGYAQkk5SQmZ8fnlBaXpBbFF_fnpGSmFgEA
https://yugiohdeck.github.io/#dRg41Fm6/6wcwc81Z6yjbFcDNCqeetAnwEHeogc5CgiZwrTV2qwl+zY3PaSc44MkWqhOMb2sofiWEmnmOvJjuJDPbkCU:black_luster_soldier
note: This is not a BLS ritual deck. BLS ritual have same issue with Dark magician Ritual deck. The deck is just awkward. Their ritual is lv8, but main deck monsters are gaia the fierce knight monster with level 7. The ritual also does not help either, all of them must tribute exactly level 8, some even require you to sned LIGHT and DARK monsters. Forcing you to play awkward level 1 DARK/LIGHT monster. Not the worse thing ever since 1 of them can be from GY, but more attention must be paid when deck building the ritual version while they payoff is, eeeh. So I ditch the ritual build and just play the usrarctic version + sacred soldier. Probably post the ritual build for another time.
The gameplan is just simple. Just an updated version of ursarctic deck here (Some of tech choice there like guan yun can also be played here if you want). We blind 2nd and use lv8/7 ursarctic as disruption by tributing our high level monsters. then summon something big (BLS's/advent dragon) to inflict massive damage.
Both chargin/arisen gaia act as tribute fodder for ursarctic monster then ursarctic monster on the field are tribute fodder for advanced dragon. The gaia monsters float into other things when tributted, charging can search a BLS monster, and arisen can special a BLS monster from hand/GY. Gateway to chaos is our searcher for those gaia monsters. The ratio for ursarctic monsters can be better tuned to your liking.
We have 2 BLS boss monsters in envoy of the beginning and sacred soldier. Both are searchable by charging gaia. Envoy have some line of play with advance dragon, special envoy, banish something, tribute it to summon advance dragon, destroy another, advance attack, bring back envoy frm gy, banish another monster. The banish eff is once per turn per copy. Sacred soldier must be tribute summoned or special summoned using arisen trigger eff. Its banish eff is "when..you can..." eff so make sure arisen eff is CL1.
Superheavy-zefra
https://ygoprodeck.com/deckbuilde?e=U5E6yKgCxb6bNRml5FuYQbhUJpIRhLV54pjfvX-CAsPJW9azntPhZYFhXsc9rDrTE5nT6xMZLzccYMn8785oNK_QWWT6dxYYnmchxzA9bzMLDEdWJ7NIMxbB8YWNbxlhuO7bTlYQ7pgvx7Q1v4iZAQjEmi4zJ7ccYv32-zrTulQj1mduV1gqsyYwRDP9Y-npmMa6z2wy00s2Y6Z-DPeYq_M_MDJAQVVqWlFifHFibmlRYiYA
https://yugiohdeck.github.io/#OCNEmSmzTVwg+NRWRx1mvBhWzk7+7tfaMbA0szu3iCGrYZcsSwv7OzAgNNKP/tK3GeMme8uKYHjieZZt0vxje1ljkAjee2x0O3Ps/SHp+IW5N9qg;enBCzcKEY1a//7NMmWuZqI3MiQanln8BLbWZB+VSZtfKMwbpXvAH8nwXntA=:zefra_samurai
note: the new superheavy samurai engine is pretty neat 1 card full scale engine, you scale wakaushi, use his eff to scale monk big benkei and special iself. Then use big benkei eff to search soulgaia booster, equip soulgaia booster to wakaushi then special booster from s/t zone. Now we have level8 or rank4 engine without eating our normal summon. If we want to get full scale, we can use soulgaia booster and wakaushi as synchro material to scale wakaushi from ED. Of course since we play zefra deck, we would like our high scale to be zefraath that copies zefraniu scale so we don't do the last part. Instead we use soulgaia booster+ushiwaka as xyz material for gallant granite to search zefraath. This will free up our providence+oracle to search more important tools. Sakitama is our other way to get lv4 bodies to the field before eating our "normal" normal summon for turn. If you already have access to zefraath, the superheavy package can be used as synchro material for void ogre dragon, a big dragon with s/t negate if you emptied your hand. Other option will be use wakaushi as tuner to summon synchro longyuan with zefraniu. Overall you have good amount of option for your extra deck.

Hello everyone,
My husband and I bought our house in February. We love the house and neighborhood, except for one thing. I noticed a few weeks ago that my next door neighbor has a lot of stuff outside. I called the Code Enforcement Office and they said it's likely a code violation, and if I submit a complaint, they will send a CEO (Code Enforcement Officer?) out to assess. They said as long as they can see the junk from the sidewalk or my property (which they totally can,) they would issue a warning giving the neighbor one week to remove the junk. The neighbor would not be fined unless he doesn't remove the junk.
Here are my concerns. First of all, I don't want to be that person. But it's my first home and I really don't want to look at this guy's junk constantly. The houses are really close together (which we otherwise actually really like, everyone is quiet and we feel like a part of a community, we are not fans of suburban sprawl.)
Secondly, I don't want to have a contentious relationship with my neighbor. I would think he would put 2 and 2 together that it was us calling, because the junk is on our house's side. That being said, like I said, you can see the junk from the sidewalk and street, and probably from the house across the street. I saw it today while driving home, from my car. So I suppose he would never 100% know, but if he's never been reported before, we are the next door neighbors and we are the only ones new to the neighborhood.
Should I report?
I also feel like I can smell the stuff but maybe that's in my head. It's ladders, tools, tires, a bucket, just random shit. It's a lot. The stuff is technically on the driveway/side yard.

Hi everyone!! I’d appreciate some help/ advice. I am very very very VERY sadly moving away from our fair city and was wondering if anyone has any recommendations for moving companies? I’m moving up to Southeastern Michigan and I’m trying to figure out what my best options are. I only have some bedroom furniture and two desks. Here’s what I’ve considered:
1.) full service companies? Movers to put the items in a truck, drive the truck to my next location, and then unpack there. This seems costly but I like the idea of removing the hassle? 2.) renting a truck myself and hiring movers here to fill it, driving the truck to my next location myself, and then hiring a different set of movers there. This seems more economical BUT I’ve never driven a large truck before and it makes me slightly nervous. But perhaps it’s fairly easy? 3.) because the initial quotes I’ve received have been so high, my dad is telling me just to hire a junk company to THROW EVERYTHING AWAY but like Jesus that seems like a waste of money as well?
Obviously it would be more ideal to just do the moving myself but due to my circumstances that isn’t really a possibility so I have to hire some sort of help.
Thank you in advance for the help!!! Any recommendations or thoughts at all would be amazing!!

So yeah, second part. I forgot to say the page count last time of this chapter last time, so I'll say it now. Chapter four is about fifty pages long, so it fits the bill when it comes to these things. Not much else to say, so enjoy.
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* * *
Jacob pondered.
On what exactly? Oh fine, I’ll tell you.
Jacob had just received what was, hopefully, a relatively unfiltered version of the recent events and situation on the planet. After about an hour of explanation, A had finished on the arrival of the disassembly drones, and the subsequent widespread assault on the worker drones. When Jacob had asked for the specific story of A’s squad, A had skirted around it, only lightly touching upon the subject. It was slightly suspicious, but Jacob didn’t plan on doing anything about it.
However, if it was the truth, it only raised more questions than answers. The fact that a company was willing to exterminate the entirety of what was probably a massive investment was just baffling. Jacob could only come up with two explanations, one of which was rather worrying to think about. The first was that of changing times; perhaps the company was so rich, and technology so advanced, that the worker drones could be replaced with the ease of buying another shipload of tissues. If you threw away an entire box of tissues, it would be annoying to say the least, but it wouldn’t cost a lot to just get another one.
But, it just didn’t make sense to Jacob that that would be the case. The United States military in the time of Jacob had heaps, thousands of missiles, and could afford to replace them as they were used. But if they all disappeared at once? It would take lots of time, money, and effort to replace each and every single last one of the lost payloads, and not to mention the logistical nightmare it would be.
So, that led Jacob to his other solution, one that insinuated a scenario far more confusing and sinister. If the company decided to just annihilate every worker drone, which is a very radical and illogical decision by a galaxy-spanning megacorporation, then it would line up with certain other decisions made by other people in the past.
During the Second World War, the U.S. government was fearful of a potential Japanese invasion. They believed that, if they did land boots on American soil, that the Japanese-Americans would rise up, taking the side of the invaders. And so, Roosevelt made the Executive Order 9066, ordering over one hundred and twenty thousand Japanese-Americans to be interned in concentration camps, where they would remain until near the end of the war.
This was an apt example for how even the most level-headed of individuals could make bad decisions under the influence of fear. If Jacob assumed that the same was true for this day and age, then perhaps the administration at the company had sent machines to kill the entire worker drone populace due some or maybe even all of them being much more dangerous than what was being let on. It was a bit far-fetched, but was the one of the only viable solutions at the moment, aside from his theory that nothing was real and they were all figments of the imagination of a being so complex they were nothing but fiction to it, but the chances of that were little to none.
Right?
Jacob’s pondering was interrupted by someone waving their hand in front of his face.
“Ugh, hello?” A snapped his fingers twice. “You there?”
Jacob blinked, refocusing on his present company. “Uh yeah, just processing.”
A scoffed. “Processing what? I thought humans were superior or something?”
Jacob smacked A’s hand out of his face. “Me too.”
A raised an LED eyebrow.
“Doesn’t matter.” Jacob waved hand in a dismissive way. “What now?”
“I dunno. That's all I had.” A shrugged.
“Nothing else you’re hiding?” Jacob questioned.
“No. There isn’t.” A glared at Jacob. “Now drop it.”
Jacob held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, jeez man, calm down. I just don’t wanna be bored for however long I’m stuck here.”
“Yeah well, that's not really my problem.” A stated.
Jacob didn’t reply, only sighing, before standing and getting up out of his seat.
A startled. “Wait, where are you going?”
“Out.” Jacob simply replied.
“Why?” A inquired.
Jacob shrugged. “Bored.”
A got to his feet as well. “Fine then. I guess I’m going as well.”
“You’re coming with?” Jacob asked incredulously.
“Yeah. I can’t have you running off and getting yourself killed.” A reasoned.
“They kept saying that too.” Jacob grumbled.
“Who said that?” A tilted his head.
“K and X.” Jacob answered. “Also, why don’t y’all have normal names? Why just letters?”
“I dunno.” A non-committedly replied.
“Huh.” Jacob took that as a cue to leave, turning to the ladder.
A followed closely behind, waiting until Jacob had gone through the small exit to ascend himself.
Jacob didn’t bother to use the ladder on the way down, buckling his knees and dropping the last few feet, hearing the snow crunch beneath him. He had been prepared to absorb the impact, but it seemed like whatever advanced mechanics his suit possessed had done the job all by itself, which was pretty nice. He made a mental note to test out the capabilities later on, just to get a general sense of the limits and what would be a danger to him.
Jacob heard a similar crunching noise behind him, causing him to look backwards, seeing A just awkwardly standing there.
“Just gonna follow me? Really?” Jacob was slightly annoyed.
“Yeah. I’ve gotta keep you safe until someone else takes you off my hands, or else I’ll-” A cut himself off.
Jacob took note of that, inferring what he might have been about to say. It only served to confirm his notion that he was sort of a VIP on the planet. He was to be protected at all costs, which was pretty nice for Jacob.
“So, you gonna do anything?” A asked.
* * *
The sound of snow crunching filled the empty room as the pair walked into it.
“Can we go back already?” X complained.
“No, and be quiet.” K scolded him. “It’s too echoey in this room, it’s annoying.”
X scoffed. “Pff, it’s fine. Nobody’s around for miles, we’re all good. Now when can we go back?”
K rolled her eyes. “We can go back when we find something, You heard what he said.”
“What who said?” X inquired.
“You idiot, our squad leader!? Our boss that we’ve spent who knows how long with!?” K cried out.
“Calm down, just messing around.” X leaned against the wall.
“Whatever, you know what A said. We can’t come back until we’ve found water.” K reminded X.
“Why do we even need it? I’m sure he’ll be fine.” X waved off the issue.
“He’ll die.” K deadpanned.
“He can walk it off.” X waved off the issue again.
“I don’t care, just get off the wall, we’ve gotta search every building.” K gestured for X to follow.
“How can we even find anything in here? Everywhere else we’ve checked has been empty.” X took his place next to K.
“You never know, now get to it.” K kicked over a rock, exposing a small marble.
X trotted over to a dented metal counter on one side of the room, peering underneath it.
“Nothing here, this is useless.” X whined.
“Shut up.” K called out.
X surprisingly obliged, kneeling down and searching the small cabinets that were connected to the counter. After finding nothing but a small skeleton huddled inside one of them, X sighed heavily, before making his way over to a large metal box. It might’ve been taller than him if it wasn’t tipped over on its side, with an assortment of power cords snaking out from an outlet on the back of it. Seeing a small handle on the front, X tugged on it, the slight rust giving way to superior strength.
However, X’s eyes went wide with shock, which changed to glee.
“Hey, look what I’ve found!” X called out to K.
K’s head whipped up, staring at the prize that X was brandishing. “You found- what is that?”
If the two had any idea what warm food was, they would’ve recognized the lumpy frozen good that X had in his hands as a perfectly preserved rotisserie chicken. If they had any sort of reheating device, and if they had proper taste buds, they might have been able to enjoy the sweet experience of a Thanksgiving dinner. However, they were ignorant robots who were about as smart as a middle schooler, so the only reaction that they, or at least one of them had, was confusion.
“I dunno, but it says chicken on the side!” X proudly exclaimed.
“What’s chicken?” K questioned.
“I’m . . . not sure . . . but I’m pretty sure it's food.” X’s LED eyebrows furrowed in thought.
“How do you know that?” K asked.
“Uh, I don't?” X seemed more confused than ecstatic now.
K shook her head. “Did you find anything useful?”
“Well I found this clear thing, but it only says something called ‘Dasani’ on the side.” X held up a clear plastic bottle, putting his finger in quotation marks when he said it.
“Give me that!” K dashed across the room, snatching the item out of X’s hands.
“Wha- hey!” X tried to grab at it, but K held it out of his reach.
“Back up!” K swatted X in the face, inciting a squawk of surprise.
“I found it first, give it back!” X shot back, tackling K, causing the bottle to roll across the ground.
The two began slugging at each other, scrabbling across the ground for dominance over a goddamn bottle, like a gang of the aforementioned middle schoolers. Nearly crushing the contested item multiple times, the two spent a good thirty seconds duking it out. And after K finally managed to curl into a ball around the bottle, X tried to no avail to recapture his former possession.
“You motherfu-” X was cut off by a noise from the door that led deeper into the building
The two highly professional disassembly drones shot to their feet, their gazes snapping to the origin of the sound. Standing there was a figure, about the same height as K and X, with familiar black plating and armor, kneeling down to grab a small blue marble that was on the floor. It appears as though the idiot had been trying to be sneaky to avoid capturing the attention of the killer robots, which clearly didn’t go as planned.
“Uh, hi.” The drone said after a moment of silence.
Even more silence.
The military drone took that as a cue to scoop up the marble, before dashing out of the room.
K and X instantly took chase, with K pocketing the small bottle for later. The military drone wasn’t quite fast, but it did make use of its head start well. The unnamed drone disappeared behind the corner, with the pair of disassembly drones right on his heels. However, when K turned around the edge, a bullet tore through the air, finding its home in her head. Completely unprepared, she fell to the ground.
X, contrary to what some might do, didn’t stop to assist her, instead just simply vaulting over her body, speeding onward. He was rapidly closing the distance between him and the military drone, when his prey suddenly whipped around with a pistol in its hand. X, unlike his comrade, was prepared for this inevitability, turning to the side and out of the path of the trio of bullets as they flew by him. X followed up on this by diving down onto the hapless drone, trying to skewer it on gleaming metal claws.
The drone didn’t have a chance to fight, but unknown to X, he did have time to press the small panic button on its jawline, or where the jawline would be if it was a human. If anyone on this planet was familiar with standard police or even military practice, they would recognize the small button as the useful yet annoying panic button.
For a bit of context, the panic button is usually represented as a small and easy-to-access device that, when activated, sends out an emergency distress signal that would notify the proper authorities of the panic button’s location and a dire situation. The panic button is common in the military, police personnel, elderly homes, schools, corporate buildings, apartment buildings, and basically everywhere else that isn’t a ghetto.
The drone, however, proved to be much smarter than his predecessors, much to the dismay of X. It dove to the side, dropping down and through a weakened rusty grate. As X’s claws scraped against the wall, the fleeing drone tossed a metal panel that was blocking the way out to his side, before dashing through the door. X jumped down to the lower floor, before continuing his chase.
A flurry of bullets ripped towards him, but X brought his arm up, letting his forearm absorb the projectiles that hit, and most missed. The drone ran down a comically long flight of stairs, taking three steps at a time. The stairs continued downward, eventually opening up to a basement with a gaping hole in the wall, which led straight into darkness. The drone nearly fell into the hole from the momentum of jumping down the stairs. But, it just managed to skid to a stop at the edge.
X landed at the foot of the stairs, crouching to absorb the impact. X’s gaze focused on the drone that was pointing the pistol at X, sights drawing a solid bead on his head. However, when it pulled the trigger, it was only met with a slight clicking sound. The drone gaze jerked down to the pistol, then straight back up to X, who was now diving towards it, claws outstretched.
The drone jumped backwards, losing his balance. Its foot slipped off the edge, and while the sudden space between it and X saved its life for the time being, it did have to contend with gravity, which was now pulling on the drone by a considerable amount.
X watched as the drone tumbled down the pit, hitting the sides. However, the sides of the pit were both sloped and slick with a thin sheet of ice, causing the drone to slide down to the bottom. The drone slammed against a large rusty metal pipe, which was a solid indicator of the pit’s identity as a sewer.
The drone scrambled to its feet, caving the skull in of a skeleton that appeared to have been a former inspector when one took into account the corpse’s clipboard and tattered clothes. X slammed down onto the large pipe, causing it to resonate like a gong. The drone snatched up a small length of rusty metal rebar that had impaled itself on the ground, the edge of the steel surprisingly sharp. The drone adopted a fighting stance, pointing the business end towards X.
The robotic predator didn’t care, however, just simply stabbing his prey with his own pointy stick, the sharp end of his nanite acid tail. The sharp tool stuck itself in the drone’s shoulder, causing it to drop the bar and curse. X took the opportunity to grip the drone by the head, while digging the claws of his other hand in its chest. X then looked into the opaque black visor of the military drone, before pulling in two opposite directions.
The effects were made known quickly, with the head of the military drone migrating away from its home connected to the body. Oil splashed down onto X, who took the opportunity to feed. X dropped the head, letting it hit the ground with a clang, dropping the body as well.
X stood over the fallen corpse, claws gleaming with oil. K landed next to him, retracting her wings.
“So you got it?” K asked.
“No I didn’t, he got away. This body right here is just a random pigeon, and you’re just hallucinating.” X replied sarcastically. “Also, how the hell did you get here so fast?”
K rolled her eyes. “Oh, be quiet. I’m just making sure, because knowing you, you would probably let him go for the funny.” She ignored his latter question.
“Well now that you mention it . . .” X looked sorrowfully at the body.
K punched him in the arm. “Whatever, we gotta go. I seriously doubt that he was alone-”
She was cut off yet again by a loud crash that originated from the hole up on the wall. The duo whipped around, only to see several guns pointed straight at them.
“Sup.” X nodded at the intruders.
* * *
The sound of conversation could be audibly heard from the lit tent.
The tent had been designated as the de facto headquarters for the former facility personnel, with a smaller offshoot serving as a meeting room for the leadership. The offshoot tent in question was currently being used for its purpose, with an emergency meeting being called. Not because of the discovery of a dead body, but for a different matter entirely.
“Can anyone at least tell me how this happened?” The Lead Engineer leaned on the table.
One of the data officers stepped forward. “We believe that when we were evacuating the facility, an error occurred that declassified the file.” They answered.
“An error did this.” The General wasn’t convinced.
“Well, yes. The computers had been degrading for a while now, and we had noticed that several of our autonomous programs were misbehaving, or just outright not working at all.” The data officer replied.
“And we did nothing about this?” The General glared at the trio of data officers that had joined them.
“We actually were doing all we could, but we didn’t have the materials to make a complete fix.” The Lead Engineer interjected.
“Why didn’t you tell me then!?” The General exclaimed.
“I did. You probably just forgot again.” The Lead Engineer suggested.
“What? I have the best memory here.” The General puffed out his chest proudly.
“Alright then, what were we just talking about?” The Lead Engineer inquired.
The General frowned. “We were talking?”
The Lead Engineer facepalmed. “Goddamn idiot.”
One of the data officers stepped up. “Uh, sir? There is still the matter of the ones who discovered the information.”
“Oh yeah, uh, dump them off the eastern bridge.” The Lead Engineer waved off the issue.
With a simple nod, the data officers left, accompanied by a few guards as well. The Lead Engineer sat back in his chair, before steepling his fingers on the desk. He looked back and forth between the assembled leadership, before the General spoke up.
“So, are we gonna continue or what?” He crossed his arms.
“Yes, sorry.” The Lead Engineer motioned to one of his ministers. “You take the lead, Kane.”
Kane got up, walking to the front of the tent, dragging a projector on a cart with him. When he arrived, he pulled down the white screen, securing the hook on a latch on the bottom. He then adjusted the cart, facing the lens towards the screen. He then attached a laptop to the projector, pressing a few buttons and fiddling with a few switches, cursing once. Finally, the projector flickered to life, shining an image onto the screen.
Kane cleared his throat. “Ahem, so. What you are seeing here is the first page of the document in question. As you can see here, it appears to be warning against a drone viewing whatever the contents of this file is.” Kane flicked to the next slide. “It continues to vehemently express this multiple times, not really differing in its warning at all.”
One of the military ministers, Alicia, raised her hand. “Uh, question?”
Kane paused. “What is it?”
“Its warning against drones? She asked.
“Yes, it is. I’ll explain this later on, so save your questions for the end please.” Kane looked back to the projection, skipping through the slides until he landed on the first one without a warning.
“Ah, here we go. So, as you can see here, this appears to be a logo for JCJenson-'' Kane was interrupted by a faint, “In Spaaaaacee!” from an unknown source. “Uh, anyway, as all of you know, JCJenson was the company that owned this planet, and the one that provided the drones that the government were using in their facility, which was us.” Kane flicked to the next slide.
“Here we can see a title for a project, along with several bits of accompanying information, like locations, associates, page number, references, you get the picture.” Kane then produced a long ruler from what seemed like thin air, before pointing the end at one of the words. “Pay attention to this one here ‘AbsoSolv’ as it’ll come up several times later on.” Going to the next slide, Kane cleared his throat yet again.
“This page is more confusing, as it appears to be mentioning several unit serial numbers that don’t match up with standard format, which are mixed in with several other ones that are in different format, like this one here,” Kane pointed his stick at a random one from the line. “This one says, S-010011X01, which I believe has a main identifying letter instead of a string of numbers based on time of construction.”
“Additionally, while some of these feature the normal serial numbers that worker drones use, they have another identifier after it, separated by a dash.” Kane flipped to the next slide.
“This one is more straightforward, as it appears to be featuring a set of technical designs of a modified worker drone with the serial number and other associated information listed at the top. The notes on the side are observations on the modifications that can be seen in the designs. Some of the original worker drone parts can be seen, but a majority of the inner and outer mass seem to have been altered or replaced with a substance that is described as ‘fleshy’. You can see at the very bottom a signature of an unknown human administrator, and a notice that marks the drone for ‘disassembly’ as an addendum can be seen that marks whatever this is as a failure, and a recommendation to request more data from their source.”
Kane took a breath, before going to the next slide. “This is essentially the same as the last one, and this continues for a few slides. Nothing of note can be found in them, save for a few different serial numbers that were listed in one of the prior slides.”
Kane flicked to the next slide. “This one has two addendums, which I will say in a moment. The image is different as well, with noticeably less random mutations and more of a form taking place. This one was supposedly much more successful than the others, and while it was still marked as a failure, the first addendum said that the team working on the project should strip the data from the drone in as best a condition as they could. The second one simply noted they were naming the specific strain of code they were using to ‘Absolute Solver’. The addendum does not mention any reason or motive behind the name, only noting the fact that their shareholders would be pleased.”
“The next one is the first apparent success in the line of experiments that JCJenson seemed to be doing. A single growth can be seen protruding from the back of the spinal transmitter, and several other growths have sprouted inside. However, it is noted that the drone survived the process, and remained somewhat coherent for a period of time afterwards, which seems to be an outlier when considering the others. There isn’t an addendum on this one, only a request from the team for more extensive data from their source to compare to this experiment.”
“This trend continues for a good while, so I’ll just summarize the important bits for all of you.” Kane stated. “Each version continued to show more and more productive attributes and traits, as is par the standard course. Throughout the notes, requests, and addendums, whoever was typing up the document repeatedly noted some things that I will review later, such as Absolute Solver, the ‘source’, Camp 98.7, Cabin Fever Labs, and disassembly drones.”
Kane flicked to the final slide. “This is the final page, with some items to note. It appears to be a reiteration of the specifics of the agreement between the government and JCJenson, with a few additional key things. It includes the standard formalities and the usual junk that we all know, but something else as well. When mentioning the exchange of data that came from the asset-” Kane paused as the room underwent an uncomfortable shuffle in their seats. “They mention a clear correlation between this project that JCJenson is, or was, working on, and the asset. They also instructed the government contacts that any unauthorized personnel, which included government agents, were now barred from entering Camp 98.7 due to ‘hazardous environmental conditions’ and that this was nonnegotiable.”
Kane turned away from the projector, clasping his hands in front of himself. “And now to explain.”
“From what me and the team I assigned could gather, we deduced the meanings and purposes behind several items that were mentioned in this file. The first and most obvious, the ‘source’ that is mentioned. They are receiving data from this source, which seems to be essential to the development of what they were working on. Based on their words, we figured that the source is likely the asset, and yes, the same asset that we are all familiar with.” Kane paused, seemingly to let his words sink in.
“Continuing on, we began to dissect what Camp 98.7 was. It was very clearly a location of sorts, but where it was and what it was used for was more complicated. While we never arrived at a solid conclusion, we believed that the most likely avenue was that Camp 98.7 might have been an outpost of sorts, perhaps used in conjunction with these Cabin Fever Labs.”
“On the matter of the Cabin Fever Labs, we can clearly assume that research and development of this Absolute Solver was being conducted there, and perhaps Camp 98.7 was a sort of staging ground or other type of location related to the lab. We believe that the location of one or both of these sites are hidden within another file.”
“And perhaps the most intriguing and complex matter of them all, Absolute Solver. We figured that it was likely that this Absolute Solver was instrumental in whatever experiments they were doing, or even being one of the subjects of the experiments themselves. From what we gather, Absolute Solver is something, maybe a piece of alien machinery, some sort of unknown lifeform, an experimental strain of cutting-edge code, one of those things, but whatever it is, it is not something that is ‘normal’. It appears to have a unique effect on those it hosts or comes into contact with, rapidly generating new organic material, with sometimes uncontrolled effects. While the file only shows the experiments that used drones, we don’t know if any humans or other organic lifeforms were included either. Likely not, considering the legality of the situation, but it's open to discussion.”
Kane took a large breath, before continuing.
“And finally, the disassembly drones. They seem simple, but my team believed it to be heavily related to our current situation. They aren’t mentioned very often, but they appear to be a direct result of their experiments or related to one. From what we could gather, they are meant to, well, disassemble. Drones on par with military-grade ones that are capable of a variety of things, like bullet fire, rocket launching, melee combat, flight, digital warfare, and regeneration.” Kane watched as his words dawned upon his audience, expressions filling with shock.
“Yes, those drones. The disassembly drones that we read about are likely some variant of the unknown assailants that attacked the facility, and stole the asset in the process.”
The General sputtered. “B-but that would be a severe political incident! If those drones were under the command of JCJenson, and they stole GOVERNMENT property, then they would be liable for retaliation!”
Kane tried to calm the room. “Now, hold on, I’m not done-”
The Lead Engineer also appeared to be shocked. “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier!?”
“You told me to wait for the meeting!” Kane exclaimed.
The room erupted into disarray.
“We need to mobilize, hunt down those damn traitors!”
“What's their last known location!?”
“Where is the nearest transmitter, send out a request for retaliatory action!”
Suddenly, a drone burst into the room, knocking over the projector cart in the process. Everyone turned to look at him, ceasing the chaos for a moment.
“Er, uh, sirs?” The drone asked.
“Yes?” The General and the Lead Engineer stood up at the same time.
“I, uh,” The drone looked back and forth between the two administrators. “Well, we received a panic signal from one of our scouts.”
The General scoffed. “Why would that be enough to warrant our intervention? He probably just tripped on a conveniently placed banana peel.”
The messenger fidgeted nervously. “Well, his partner reported moments before the signal came in that he heard gunshots.”
The administrative drones shared a collective uneasy look.
“What did you do?” The General asked slowly.
“The officers who received the signal first sent in two of the patrol squads that were nearby at the time.” The messenger answered.
The drones in assembly all either looked down in disappointment or facepalmed.
The General spoke up after a moment. “Send in a squad as fast as you can to their last known location. Only veterans, and outfit them with heavy weaponry and explosive ordnance.” The General paused, before adding an afterthought. “And give them some cutting equipment too.”
The messenger blinked in surprise. “Wait, sir, are you sure-”
“Just tell the officers already!” The General slammed his fist down onto the cheap plastic table, which formed a crack.
The messenger saluted quickly, before dashing out of the room.
The Lead Engineer took a cursory look at the assembled drones, before he sighed.
“We’re screwed.”
* * *
“Are you going back anytime soon?”
Jacob looked back at his unwanted companion.
“No.” He answered simply, before resuming his casual trot.
“We’re getting too far away from the spire, and the sun is coming up in an hour or two. I for one don’t want to get caught out.” A insisted.
“Well I don’t die from a bit of sunlight, so too bad.” Jacob stepped over a tire rim.
“I’m not sure that’s your choice.” A stated.
Jacob paused and looked backward. “Oh, so you’re bossing me around now?”
“Maybe, if you keep on making dumb decisions like this.” A stopped as well.
“Pff, I’ll be fine.” Jacob waved his hand in the air to emphasize his point.
“You won’t last ten minutes.” A dead-panned.
“Nah, I’ll speedrun this stuff, I’ll be off-planet in an hour.” Jacob proudly said.
A shook his head and sighed. “Whatever you say.”
Jacob didn’t answer.
Jacob then looked around. “Wait, where are we? I wasn’t keeping track.”
“And you said that you would- whatever, we’re like, three miles away from the base.” A replied.
“Huh, went that far?” Jacob asked.
A frowned. “Three miles isn’t that far-”
A was interrupted by a rather loud crack that resonated through the landscape.
Jacob blinked. “Uh, ok then-”
Jacob was also interrupted by a trio of cracks and bangs, sounding slightly familiar.
“Are those-” Jacob was, yet again, interrupted by even more bangs.
“-gunshots?” He finished.
“I wouldn’t worry, those idiots are probably either messing around, or they found a worker drone to kill.” A nonchalantly answered.
“Shouldn’t we go check it out though?” Jacob inquired.
“It isn’t a problem.” A said, annoyed.
“Well it would give me something to do.” Jacob insisted.
A checked the time, before looking at the horizon for signs of sunlight.
“Eh, fine. Wouldn’t hurt, I guess.” A shrugged.
“Nice.” Jacob grinned underneath his ballistic visor.
* * *
K sliced through the head of the last desperate drone, before spitting out a bullet.
“You done?” K called out to X.
“Yeah, I guess. By the way, do you still have my Dasani thing?” X looked at K hopefully.
“Yes, I do. And besides, it isn’t yours, it's for Jacob.” K answered.
“What? Why is he getting it? Why not me?” X exclaimed.
“Because it's water, idiot. An uncontaminated source, like A told us, remember?” K glared at X.
“I guess, but that's water?” X asked.
“Yes, it is. It matches the description.” K replied
“Description?” X questioned.
“Yeah, the description. You know what description means, right?” K seemed even more annoyed.
“I know what it means.” X snapped. “But how do you know what water looks like?”
K just shrugged, before turning towards the exit.
“Come on, we gotta get back soon.” She flew upwards, landing on the ledge.
X followed suit, tracing their steps back through the building. X looked back up at the rusty grate that the drone had fallen through, which he now identified as being part of a weirdly placed catwalk. Scanning the environment, X found that the only entrance to the small alcove would be the hole in the catwalk. The basement that the small room was connected to didn’t have an entrance either, only having the gaping hole in the side of the room, which likely wasn't intended. That would mean that a person would have to chop through the sewer wall to get into the basement and adjoining alcove, or jump off the catwalk. Both of those options didn’t make any sort of sense at all. In fact, the catwalk wasn’t even needed, someone could have just removed the entire basement-and-alcove plan entirely, which also removed the necessity for a catwalk. All in all, whoever designed the building was either high off of some crazy drugs, an idiot, or both.
But, none of these thoughts went through X’s head, as he was only thinking about the devastating loss of his cool plastic bottle.
K hefted herself up onto the rusty catwalk, with X following close behind. K went through the doorway, only for a rather eventful event to stop her momentarily.
A rocket screamed through the air, smacking K straight in the chest. The resulting explosion blew X backwards and K apart, with oil splashing onto the ground in the process. With a clatter, X hit the ground, slightly dazed. He looked to his left to see what looked like the arm of K, twitching slightly. X tried to get up, only to fall again, after he put his weight on a hand that wasn’t there.
X, seeing the failure of Operation: GTFU, adjusted his position so that he could get up with his other hand only, which was thankfully still there. Investigating his left arm, he could see that everything down from the elbow had been separated from himself in the blast. He didn’t have time to look for it or go get it, so he simply let the matter go.
Standing up, X stared through the smoke, before diving back down onto the ground when another rocket came streaking past him. It scratched his face, sending small sparks up, before heading down the other hallway. X pointed his own rocket launcher into the fog, before firing off a flurry of shots. He heard explosions, but wasn’t rewarded with screams or grunts of pain. Problematic, to say the least.
X took the opportunity to kick K’s assorted dismembered body parts down into the lower alcove, where she should eventually reassemble herself. She was really taking a beating recently, and she would probably be frustrated about that when X was all done, but that wasn’t his problem-
X nearly met the same fate as K when another rocket flew from the open doorway, the fog starting to clear up. X jumped up and over the RPG, letting it fly into the unexplored depths of the building. He couldn’t do this dance forever, so he made the executive decision to charge into the unknown.
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Anyway, I'll be posting the next part tomorrow, so hang on tight for the singular person that made it to the end. No need to like, this is purely for my own benefit. See ya.