Hair store lagrange georgia
Until I transitioned I was unaware of how "owned" by others your body feels when people perceive you as a woman
2023.06.09 01:17 maxxshepard Until I transitioned I was unaware of how "owned" by others your body feels when people perceive you as a woman
Now, before some fucking terf takes this out of context, I transitioned bc I'm a man. Not because I was trying to escape from sexism. I really didnt think about this as being "a thing" until the last year where I've been passing regularly. But I've realized, when people, even complete strangers, see you as a woman, they feel a strange ownership over your body, and that's fucked up.
Ever since I was a tiny child people have given me their personal opinions about my body. I have very very thick red hair, and as a kid people would come up to me and just, grab my pony tail, or run their fingers through my hair and make comments about the color and thickness. They would say things to me or my mom like: "oh her hair is so beautiful! Never dye it! Never cut it! People would kill for that hair!" And it always annoyed me.
When I was about 8-10 I used to love to run in the forest and climb trees and get bug bites and scrape my knees, and random people would always comment on it saying things like: "you should be more careful! You shouldn't pick those scabs, you'll leave scars on your nice legs! Do you want to be grown up and have legs with scars all over them?" I didn't care or give a shit, but my mom made me use scar cream religiously because she hated it.
When I started painting my nails my dad had to chime in on my color choices, saying that the blue and black nails I liked looked "gross" and I should paint them a color he preferred on me.
When I got older random people would comment on how nice my eyebrows were, but that I needed to "pluck them to give them shape" and the hair I naturally grew wasn't feminine enough for their liking.
When I was 14 a random drunk dude on the side of the road yelled a drunken song at me, about how he liked my body, and my hair was so beautiful.
When I got my hair cut to a long bob freshman year of hs both of my parents CRIED. when it started growing out longer, every compliment about my appearance noted how much better they liked me with long hair.
Whenever I got one pimple on my face, I'd get comments on it from people telling me to stop touching my face, and recommending complex skincare regimens.
When I shaved my head junior year, my 57 year old male science teacher told me how disappointed he was because I was "so pretty before."
When I got my first tattoo my mother told me how "disappointed she was that I would mar my beautiful skin."
When I got my septum pierced someone I worked with noted that I was "ruining my pretty face"
When I went to go buy a new phone at 18, the counter boy commented on my loud bright clothing and said I would "probably look so pretty in a nice dress."
I tried very hard to be a "good, pretty girl" for many years. But I never felt good enough at it. Nothing I ever did was "right" and every change of my appearance incurred comments from random people I barely knew about what they thought I should be doing differently.
I have been on T for 3 1/2 years now. And those comments have completely stopped. I don't feel eyes following my in the grocery store judging me. I don't feel male colleagues deciding their opinion of me based on if they would fuck me or not. I don't get random strangers touching me, or offering me diet tips anymore. The compliments I receive from a strangers are on my personal style, or cool piercings, or tattoos. They aren't backhanded and they don't end with a suggestion on what I should be doing differently. I feel like my body is my own for the first time.
Out of curiosity, I looked back at some photos of myself in HS. I looked like a normal, stylish teenage girl. Not that I wanted to be, but, if I saw that person on the street, no "suggestions" for change would come to my mind. I looked just fine. NOW I look like a gremlin. Two thirds of my wardrobe has paint on it, the other third has holes, my beard is shit, I have hella acne, I've gained 30lbs, I wear flip flops 24/7 like fucking jimmy buffet, I am, undeniably, a trash goblin. But I DONT CARE, and neither does anyone else. Because it's MY body to decorate how I please. I could tell the exact time that I started passing, because I felt the eyes of society drop off my back. I just... EXIST now. If my good clothes are in the dryer, and I don't have time to wash my hair, I can run errands in trash clothes without feeling GUILT. I used to feel GUILT about not looking attractive enough for the random bastards at Walmart. The change is substantial. I understand that there is also a shaming of male body types and appearances, but the conviction it has over me is so much less then it was before. People shame men, but they don't feel like they OWN men. And this realization has made me confront that I have to be careful about commenting on the appearances of others. Because feeling like my body belongs to ME and not other random strangers for the FIRST TIME at 23 is unacceptable.
And sadly, Ive had to watch this go the opposite way for my gf who is also trans. People started to make comments to her like the ones I always had to endure. Other women in her life just respond with "welcome to woman hood" and it fucking sucks.
Now I see every article about a famous woman gaining weight, or aging, or cutting her hair, or adopting a new stye, and it grosses me out. Why do we as a society feel ownership over the appearance of women? Why must every opinion of a woman be about whether they are young, and trim, conventionally attractive and fuckable? Being free from that weight finally has shown me how heavy it really is, and how much I went out of my way to find the validation within the hateful comments. Like my body was a piece of art commissioned by an overly critical committee, and I kept revising the image over and over, never making them happy enough to get them off my back.
I'm trying to retrain myself. When I watch TV now I try not to make comments like "That haircut doesn't work with her face shape." Or "She's lost a lot of weight." Or "her mole is really distracting." Because honestly? ITS NONE OF MY BUSINESS! I was trained from a young age to micro analyse the appearances of women, and make mental decisions on what would make them look "better." But fuck my version of better. The only person who should get to influence how you feel about your choice of appearance is YOU. I do not own any part of the people I come in contact with. I do not want to train my children's eyes to find the "faults" in the appearances of others. Hopefully a perk of being a man will be influencing other men to shut the fuck up on this one, as well as teaching them that the opinions of others on their bodies are bullshit too.
Sorry for the long rant, I'm sure none of this is huge news, but this weight has just been such a promenant force in my life. Hopefully this will give some hope to y'all who don't pass yet that this ownership people feel over your body will fade. And maybe the rest of us can just work to stop judging, and participating in those stupid "rate my appearance" subs, or other self destructive forms of validation so cis and trans women don't have to feel this way either. Fuck society.
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2023.06.09 01:16 Distinct-Break7173 Nika said walk a mile in her shoes…
Nall bitch you can keep them hair store slides on your feet and keep on trucking. Only a fool would put themselves in some shit like this.
I’m from the south… all the old people do is ask when we having more kids…
My response… Do you have money to give us for more children? Are you gonna babysit when we get tired?! Will you completely raise the baby if something happens to us?!
If not… SHUT YO OLD ASS UP!
MFz always suggesting shit but won’t step up to help.
I’m convinced niggaz like to see other niggaz struggle in life… even if it’s their own flesh and blood because if Nika had any kind of guidance she would not be in this situation.
I don’t give a damn what anyone says… if people around you are encouraging you to have more kids in the kind of world we live in… they don’t give a fuck about you or that child’s well being. Get rid of them… they not for you.
Leave these MF kids where they at unless you got a few bags, are mentally stable, and the rest of your fucking ducks are in a row.
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2023.06.09 01:07 slapshotryan17 July Roadtrip - Any recc's appreciated
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2023.06.09 01:01 her_royal_flyness Please help a very sad beginner with her very sad vegetable garden! 😢🙏
Preemptive disclaimer: the pics I linked I took today within seconds of watering. My beds drain fast and are usually quite dry. Some kind commenters in gardening
have mentioned overwatering as a possible issue, but I'm certain it's not that and want to eliminate it as a possibility to see what else this could be.
Hi everyone! Be gentle - I’m new to this but very motivated.
I built raised beds at my new cottage apartment (it's an apartment, and I'm probably not renewing my lease, so I have one season to get this right). The veggies I've planted have been SO slow to grow, and I’m starting to get alarmed.
I'm on Long Island in New York. Here's what I'm growing and how it's going.
taken just after watering.
The Plants Leafy Greens & Brassicas
- Lettuce (Bibb) - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is an inch high.
- Collards (Georgia) - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is an inch high. The collards I put in a 10" container are doing great and are medium sized.
- Kale (Premier) - Planted in raised bed 5 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is an inch high. The kale I put in a 10" container is doing great and is medium sized.
- Broccoli - Bought a flat of 6 seedlings last week from the local health food store and transplanted. They're doing okay.
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2023.06.09 00:59 her_royal_flyness Please help a very sad beginner with her very sad vegetable garden! 😢🙏
Preemptive disclaimer: the pics I linked I took today within seconds of watering. My beds drain fast and are usually quite dry. Some kind commenters have mentioned overwatering as a possible issue, but I'm certain it's not that and want to eliminate that as a possibility to see what else this could be.
Hi everyone! Be gentle - I’m new to this but very motivated.
I built raised beds at my new cottage apartment (it's an apartment, and I'm probably not renewing my lease, so I have one season to get this right). The veggies I've planted have been SO slow to grow, and I’m starting to get alarmed.
I'm on Long Island in New York. Here's what I'm growing and how it's going.
Pics of 2 beds and containers: https://imgur.com/a/i1wRKjW
The Plants Leafy Greens & Brassicas
- Lettuce (Bibb) - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is an inch high.
- Collards (Georgia) - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is an inch high. The collards I put in a 10" container are doing great and are medium sized.
- Kale (Premier) - Planted in raised bed 5 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is an inch high. The kale I put in a 10" container is doing great and is medium sized.
- Broccoli - Bought a flat of 6 seedlings last week from the local health food store and transplanted. They're doing okay.
- Radish (French) - Planted in raised bed 5 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is an inch high. The radishes I put in a 10" container did great and have already been harvested.
- Carrot (Scarlet Nantes) - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is an inch high.
- Turnip - doing okay in 12" container
Herbs & Flowers
- Cilantro - Planted in raised bed 4 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is a ½ inch high.
- Nasturtium - Planted in raised bed 4 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is 1 ½ inches high.
- Lavender - Planted in raised bed 4 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is 1 ½ inches high.
- Sage - Planted in raised bed 4 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is a ½ inch high.
- Basil - Planted in raised bed 4 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is a ½ inch high.
- Dill - Planted in raised bed 4 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is a ½ inch high.
- Spearmint - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is a ¼ inch high and still has only two leaves on it.
- Tomato (Super Sweet) - Started indoors 3 weeks ago, on May 18th. Germinated. Tallest seedling is 2 inches high.
- Sweet Pepper (Carnival Blend) - Planted in bed 7 weeks ago. Tallest seedling is still only 1 ½ inches high.
- Hot Pepper (Salsa Blend) - Planted in bed 7 weeks ago. Tallest seedling is still only 1 ½ inches high.
- Eggplant - Started indoors 3 weeks ago, on May 18th. Germinated. Tallest seedling is 1 inch high.
- Pumpkin (Jack O Lantern) - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is 2 inches high. The leaves are yellowing and crispy.
- Watermelon (Crimson Sweet) - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. It died. The stem was dessicated and shrunken.
- Cucumber (Muncher) - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. It died. The stem was dessicated and shrunken.
- Squash (Summer) - Planted in raised bed 6 weeks ago. Everything germinated, but the tallest seedling is 2 inches high. The leaves are yellowing and crispy. Planted another in a 10" container 6 weeks ago. The container plant is around 8" tall, leafy, green, and with a chunky vine. It looks healthy compared to its brother in the raised bed.
- Squash (Delicata) - Started indoors 3 weeks ago, moved outside in nursery pots. Seedlings are 3 inches high and have preliminary leaves forming. Still small and weak looking compared to the other big happy squash.
- Scallion (White Lisbon) - Started these 7 weeks ago in raised bed. Growing haphazard, some wilty. Ends are crispy and browning. Tallest seedlings are about 2 inches high.
In my right bed, it's chaos. My curcurbits are yellow, stunted, and sad. My solanaceae I learned the hard way not to direct sow, so I started the next round of these a few weeks ago under a grow light (they’re…fine, I guess). The one healthyish looking tomato and pepper plant I bought at that size and transplanted.
These are growing in a "garden soil" mix I got from a local mulch place that delivered. I shook a bunch of Jobe's vegetable fertilizer pellets on top.
The soil is fairly sandy and seems to drain pretty easily. I try to water daily. Sometimes I miss a day. I've noticed the plants getting sad and crispy, especially the curcurbits. Some of the leaves are purpling, which seems to indicate a phosphate deficiency, but the fertilizer pellets supposed to contain phosphate, so idk.
The beds get 7hrs of direct sun per day.
The Weird Thing
Meanwhile, my potted plants are in pretty good shape. My summer squash is huge compared to his brothers over in the bed. My collards, kale, and turnips are thriving. I’ve already eaten my radishes.
Conclusion & Help
What can I do? I’m very low income, and I spent a lot of $ to build something that was supposed to feed me this summer. I’m hoping my errors haven’t been too costly, and I also hope it’s not too late to have a thriving garden instead of two giant sad piles of Landlord Liability Dirt. Please lmk your thoughts and how I can save my garden 🙏 Thank you for reading
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2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry
NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
- What do you think he makes? BARRY:
- Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry:
- Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE:
- Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM:
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
- It's like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA:
- Maybe I'll try that. (A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the table) CUSTODIAN:
- You all right, ma'am? VANESSA:
- Oh, yeah. Fine. : Just having two cups of coffee! BARRY: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. VANESSA== Yeah, it's no trouble. BARRY: Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. (Barry points towards the rum cake) : Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry) BARRY:
- Thanks! VANESSA:
- Yeah. BARRY: All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
: Or not. VANESSA: OK, Barry... BARRY: And thank you so much again... for before. VANESSA: Oh, that? That was nothing. BARRY: Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... (Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because her hands is to big and Barry holds that) (The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off the ladder) (Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute in a Honex wind tunnel) BEE SCIENTIST #1: This can't possibly work. BEE SCIENTIST #2: He's all set to go. We may as well try it. : OK, Dave, pull the chute. (Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking together) ADAM:
- Sounds amazing. BARRY:
- It was amazing! : It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
- We're all jammed in. : It's a close community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. BARRY:
- What if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD:
- You a mosquito, you in trouble. : Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY: At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. : Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it) You got to be kidding me! : Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! (Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there are other mosquito's hanging out) :
- Hey, guys! OTHER MOSQUITO:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
- And I'm Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, : intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, : packaging it and profiting from it illegally! JEANETTE CHUNG: Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, : we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, : Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry) BEE LARRY KING: Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. : Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? BARRY: Bees have never been afraid to change the world. : What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? BEE LARRY KING: Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
: We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. BARRY: How old are you? BEE LARRY KING: The bee community is supporting you in this case, : which will be the trial of the bee century. BARRY: You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. BEE LARRY KING: It's a common name. Next week... BARRY: He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... BEE LARRY KING: Next week... BARRY: Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. BEE LARRY KING: Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live. (Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen) BARRY: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. (Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing)
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case) (Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa) BARRY: I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. VANESSA: I think the jury's on our side. BARRY: Are we doing everything right,you know, legally? VANESSA: I'm a florist. BARRY: Right. Well, here's to a great team. VANESSA: To a great team! (Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa) KEN: Well, hello. VANESSA:
- Oh, Ken! BARRY:
- Hello! VANESSA: I didn't think you were coming. : No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... (Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge) ...the battery... VANESSA:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
- You got the tweezers? LAWYER:
- Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only to losing, son. Only to losing. : Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. : What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) : to that woman? BARRY: We're friends. MONTGOMERY:
- Good friends? BARRY:
- Yes. MONTGOMERY: How good? Do you live together? ADAM: Wait a minute... : MONTGOMERY: Are you her little... : ...bedbug? (Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated) I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,
: doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? BARRY:
- Yeah, but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing at Janet and Martin)
- So those aren't your real parents! JANET:
- Oh, Barry... BARRY:
- Yes, they are! ADAM: Hold me back! (Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? ADAM: He's denouncing bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't y'all date your cousins? (Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam) VANESSA:
- Objection! (Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery) =ADAM:
- I'm going to pincushion this guy! BARRY: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! (Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
- No! : No one's flying the plane! BUD DITCHWATER: (Through radio on plane) This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? VANESSA: This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. BUD: Where's the pilot? VANESSA: He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. BUD: Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? BARRY: As a matter of fact, there is. BUD:
- Who's that? BARRY:
- Barry Benson. BUD: From the honey trial?! Oh, great. BARRY: Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. : It's got giant wings, huge engines.
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
- Sure is. BARRY: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. (Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being) [--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard talking over the credits--] You have got to start thinking bee, my friend! :
- Thinking bee!
- Me? BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, BarryBARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
submitted by sandwich_with_a_hat
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2023.06.08 23:55 PrincessoftheDead Working on a new series, and seeing if you guys think it needs a little help.
Our Towns Big Dam Problem [Part 1]
Do you know how some decisions in life just feel so right? Imagine a nice warm pizza right out of the oven. The pizza is covered in gooey cheese, warm meats, and whatever else will delight the eyes and nose so late into the night. So image, if you will, going out for just the briefest of seconds to enjoy the crisp feel of the fall air on your face. You come back to the apartment building that you, and appropriately 50 or 60 of your neighbors call home, only to find smoke billowing down the halls as you suddenly remember that you turned on the burner, and not the oven to preheat, and the smoke is from that pizza you left on the stove.
If you feel like burrowing down the deepest hole after reading that, just remember that you are not alone. In the last week, I have taken a job at a hydroelectric power station as an operator, which at the time felt like an easy no-brainer decision. The job description was nothing if not a little enticing. There was a hefty sign-on bonus, more money than even I thought I was worth, and housing courtesy of the Corps of Engineers, which consider the aforementioned fire above, I needed pretty badly.
My name is Kate Fugate, I am 24, and in so, so much,
debt that I have moved to a small town in the northern Appalachia wilderness hoping to carve out a life here. The town is very small, having a few local stores primary consisting of convenience stores, gas stations, and dollar stores. The town is deeply forested and has recently had the honor of having this vast area be designated a National park. The houses are sandwiched into a sharp valley, consisting of a river, sprawling train tracks, and speckled with bridges of all makes and builds. If you were to come here at night, and I very much doubt you would be here at night, you might also take notice of the emergency room-slash-post office combination with twinkling neon lights. If you plan on staying here for very long, and once again, I doubt it, you should get to know the staff.
The main attraction, and the reason that I am christening this journal, is that as much as I would like to believe otherwise, this place is weird but we will get into that more a bit later. What should be the most prominent feature of the town, the dam, is actually not in town. It is about 15 miles upstream, hidden on an unmarked road nestled in a forgotten corner of the park. This fortress spans the length of the river from hill to hill, and is a huge concrete wall with an office building made of brick and a stunningly massive art -deco window spanning the two floors of this structure neatly tucked off the side like an after thought. There are massive, brilliant flood lights spanning the entire length of the dam and stretching pretty far upstream.
The concept is pretty simple, water goes in, spins turbines, and comes out on the other side, and creates the miracles that we all know and love: electricity. In addition, this place prevents flooding and is an all-around great place for serving the town as an early indicator for fires and other disasters. To make matters even more excruciatingly boring and downright fucking frustrating
is that there no cell or internet connections to the dam or the cabin nearby that I get to call home. The formal answer I got back for this pile of fake manure is that the cell tower determined the population to “insignificant” to put a cell tower in this area, which I can almost buy. The sorry excuse for the internet is that the park service determines this spot too high of a national security threat and doesn’t want the risk of Russians destroying the place or something, this reasoning being absolutely shit if you ask me.
In order to still get a tiny shred of civilization, I have to climb a stairway to heaven itself up a fire tower, on a hill to get just enough Wi-Fi to keep some semblance of sanity. And let me tell you, my ass is burning, my tounge is dry, and my lungs are one iota from exploding from the effort, and it is worth it.
My first day here started off with my coworker, Sam, showing up two hours late
for our designated meeting. He was dressed in bright white pants and a striped plunging v-neck tiger shirt and I would be lying if I didn’t say my first impression was trying to find a camera crew, because I was just certain that someone was trolling with me. He was average height, approximately 35, black hair, blue eyes, and very well groomed hair, and huge muscular arms and, all-in-all, gave off an energy that he thought he was a very pretty boy.
We shake hands, before he cocks his head and give me a quizzical look, “Hey I noticed on your paperwork, is your name actually —“
I cut him off hard and fast, “Yes, it is. My parents were a bit, well, downright eccentric, alright? Don’t use that name, don’t even remember it alright. Do me a favor and call me Kate, Katie if you prefer.”
He looks a bit taken aback and I feel a shred of remorse for the hostility, “Can do, may name is Samuel Carrington but Sam sounds more approachable if you wouldn’t mind using that.”
We take a quick tour of the facility going into the offices, him quickly pointing out the landlines, emergency switches, exits, ect. He goes over the more technical aspects of the job, but then stops right before going into the turbine room, looks me dead in the eye with more seriousness than I thought was possible.
“There are only a handful of rules you absolutely must follow:
- 1. Treat the equipment well, it is fucking EXPENSIVE and a lot of it is specialized. There is no hydroectric repair store just sitting around the corner.
- 2. Do not leave the site. I am dead serious about this one. Do. Not. Leave. The. Site. The only time you can leave is if you have someone competent here. I am only here two days a week as I have other obligations with the government, as you know the rest is up to you until we can get more people here.
- 3. Don‘t turn off the turbines for any reason. There are people downstream that stake their lives on the continual operation of this place.
- 4. If, for whatever reason, this place can not operate due to exceptional circumstances, or can no longer contain the river you must activate the emergency system. In addition to letting out an alert, it allows for people to know in advance to get to higher ground. This is critical, we are the only thing preventing everyone downstream a brutal watery demise.“
We head continue the turbine room talk about more dull operating procedures and then stop by a small office space.
Sam stops and swings open the door which reveals all of a tiny efficiency apartment. “This is my room while I am here, if you need anything feel free to swing by.” He gives me a wink as I contemplate vomiting on his stupid gold tasseled shoes “We have a cabin for you since no other apartments exist and it was left furnished by my last guy.”
We walk a short gravel path uphill to a small old cabin with a porch. He swings open the door, leaving very little to the imagination. Bed and mattress, fridge, stove, fill nearly all the available space. Right smack in the middle of the table sits a pissed off mostly hairless cat, that jumps off the table gives us a hiss for good measure and runs off into the woods.
“Look, we can probably get rid of that if you want. I have no clue how it got in here, or hey, look at it this way! You already have a built in roommate! Feel free to decorate this place anyway you want, if you want I can go get us some food, and I can help you move in. Tomorrow I can go on a grocery run.”
I open the cabinet to find an assortment of canned oddities left over from the last occupant.
“No, that really won’t be necessary, but thank you so much for the offer.” I say trying to be nice. And then the thought occurred to me that this guy is being perhaps a bit too
friendly. “Hey, is it alright if I have some, umm, well, overnight friends over? Very special female friends?” I asked trying to be subtle to see if that would discourage him.
“Well douse me in gasoline and toss me a match. Are you a lesbian? That is so freaking awesome! I love chicks too, how cool is that? I shoulda known what with the flannel and pickup truck.” He says, totally oblivious to my growing acceptance that this guy was mostly harmless, if not a touch stupid. Sam cracks open the fridge, and rapidly shuts it back, as a slightly warm pungent smell swaggers into the room. “Yeah, definitely gonna get some real groceries tomorrow.”
“Yep, that’s me, I’m a super lesbian.” I lie feeling like this statement may come back and haunt me. I turn on the kitchen facet as black water spills out.
Sam looks at it a little concerned, “Might want to let that run for a bit, if it doesn’t clear soon, I’ll look into having it fixed. But look, seriously, if you need any help at all
, don’t hesitate to call. This place is pretty spooky and it is easy to get hurt or in trouble out here. I’ve only been here about 3 months and my last coworker got pretty messed up. I liked him pretty well and it is an easy, if not boring job but it can take a toll.” Sam stepped out on the porch shooting a slightly nervous look at the woods before looking back at me.
I waved him out, “It is alright, I’m fine, I can take care of myself. I will see you bright and early in the morning.” Sam nodded at me with me with a warm smile and made the short trek back to the dam.
Night swiftly fell, and I was clutching my stomach off loading the contents into the porcelain alter for a cruel sadistic god. I hadn’t checked the expiration date too closely before downing a can of beef tounge I had found in the cabinets, which in retrospect was such a fuckingly stupid move on my part. I stepped back into the main living area to see just a swift glint of metal, before listening to the “Crash” as my widow was busted in and a hand swiftly unlocked the door from the inside.
“Shit, this is real bad.” My brain thought. As my body tensed for a fight, in walked a figure in a green ranger uniform. The guy was 26-27, 5’11, light brown hair, green eyes, fair skin. He looked absolutely furious but satisfied.
“I got you now, you jackass arsonist.” He says, grabbed me by the arms and tossing me on a stuffed chair hard. I feel a flash of pain on my ass as I land. “Damn, I realllly hope that wasn’t a needle.” I think as jump back up. Now, he looked back at me with with sheer bewilderment in his eyes. “OH shit, oh shit, I am gonna die.” I feel dread sneak into me as scramble looking around.
I take up a knife from the counter and plunge it into his hand. He lets out a yelp and given me a kick to my already twisted stomach. ”This is it.” I think as I land on the ground, and take the chance to grab his leg while it is still in the air. I push forward as he stumbles backwards.
“Wait, but your not -“ he tries to slide out of the cabin but I pull down his socks and bite like a rabid dog, with all the energy I had. I taste a glint of metal. He starts really letting his lungs work now before coming to his senses again and grabs a fire extinguisher off the porch and hits me squarely with it. My vision swiftly faded to white after that.
My next memory has me coming back to consciousness in a hospital room. I am under a blanket with cows on it, and look over to see a shitty thin blue curtain with yellow ducks on it. As I try to piece back my memory, I hear a commotion on the other side of the curtain.
One female voice nearly splitting my ears says, “Are you a dumbass? You look like one to me dumbass. You obviously weren’t thinking, dumbass. God, what a dumbass.”
Another male voice joins in, ”A girl, you beat a harmless girl senseless. And the poor thing was starting the job at the power plant. If you weren’t in already in the hospital, I’d put here, but to be fair that would make Dr. Sanders work harder, and unlike you I actually like the guy.”
An older man wearing a white coat comes in about this time who I presume is the aforementioned individual, gives me the mouth zipping motion, a wink and walks to the other side of the curtain.
“Well, she’s dead. You may as well see your handiwork.” The old doctors says.
A younger voice pipes up, “B-B-But it was an accident. I didn’t mean-“
The curtain flies open to reveal two police officers, a short and slightly heavy male and a tall African American woman. Both looking ready to kill the park ranger in bed with his hand bandaged up. The young man looks at me absolutely horrified. I can’t help but let out a small snicker at the scene.
The white haired doctor cracks up at the look of pure indignation I shoot park ranger.
“She’ll be fine.” He says. The two officers looked a bit more at ease. Dr. Sander then goes on to say after sitting down on the edge of my bed, “You spooked us just a bit there, that one over there” he points to the park ranger, “sprayed you down with a fire extinguisher and caused some temporary asphyxiation.”
The guy piped up, “I am so so so sorry. My name is Reuben, call me Ben. I’m so sorry, I had you mistaken for someone else. I’ll make this up to you. I really really fucked this up. Please don’t hate me,” he says. He was genuine, I fully believed that.
“Glad you said, that Ben, because I’m pretty sure I need a door now. My name is Katie.” I went over and gave him a light smack to the back of the head.
Dr. Sanders gave a puzzled look and picked my chart off the bed, “Wait, isn’t your name -,”.
I stopped him, “Yep, it is, please for the love of all that is holy, just don’t.”
After that, the female officer who’s name I learned was Talia, dropped me back off at the dam the next morning. Sam who had only the vaguest of ideas of what had gone on that night was filled in by Talia of the rest of the details and she quickly leaves afterwards leaving a cloud trail in the gravel.
“Well,” Sam says “I guess this means your leaving.”
“Are you kidding?” I say, “I only just got here.”
Sam cracks a wide smile, “You’re in luck then, I forgot to show you something yesterday.”
We go into the dam, down into the basement under the water level under the turbine rooms. I gasp as I look into the room, it was beautiful. There was a massive window looking out underwater. I could swear for the slightest second though that a fish swam by, displaying three eyes, and a sharp row of teeth. I knew in that moment that this river holds terrible and dark secrets and I had not even dipped toe in them.
This is Katie, signing off, until next time.
submitted by PrincessoftheDead
to NoSleepAuthors [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 23:26 ExoXerxesTheXIII Pixie Frog? Or American Bull Frog?
| || | submitted by ExoXerxesTheXIII to Amphibians [link] [comments]
I went back to my local pet store after posting this in Reptiles
(your species split hairs with everything and you need to stop doing as often as you do) but so I was told this is a rescued pixie frog and that he's healthy and simply outgrew his cage...
I feel like he was over fed out of fear and utter neglect and laziness but was hardly any negative intentions as frogs are not for everyone, they are dirty, they pee everywhere (you clean it: they'll pee there) , they prefer live food. They're just not for everyone and one of the more high maintenance reptiles/amph...
Anyways, I am always open to being wrong and I do admit that I have a lot to learn when it comes to reptiles and amphibians but this still feels like a very unhealthy situation and animal as this almost has to be mislabeled... She had to have misinformed me and that this is not a tree frog species that eats 4 live crawlers a day but instead American bullfrog or hybrid type of frog species maybe misidentified? 🖤🐸💚
2023.06.08 23:11 Beautiful-Moon-1989 I want to be a Mom
I wish I could be a Mom so badly. Maybe not a Mom (I am fine being a man) I want to be able to become pregnant. However, if I could magically be a woman and have kids I would not pass up the opportunity. For context I am a Bisexual Male but I lean more towards men. That being said I imagine myself having a husband and having my family be based around him and I. I know we always have the options of adoption or surrogacy. However, adoption and surrogacy are not the same as birthing your own child. And our genes (and love for each-other) will never mix into a single life form. I will never have the experience of having love and life grow inside of me. Having the unmistakable and special bond a mother and her child have is something I long for. Maybe, because I have grown up primarily around women and am still around them all the time is what makes me want this. My imaginary ovaries are acting up I suppose. I would give up the world to be able to birth my own children. It makes me sad thinking about the fact I'll never be able to have kids the way I want to. I'll never have the special Mom-Kid bond and experiences. No mommy makeover given by my toddlers with my makeup. No sleepless nights with a crying infant. No going to the store and picking everything up thinking my child would love this. Nothing, I'll never be able to do any of this. Not because these things are reserved for Moms but because its not the same. No matter how you put it the bond between and mother and child is different than mother and father. Especially in early stages of a child's life.
If I had it my way, I would have kids with my husband after we opened up our second restaurant and are financially stable and ready. I don't care the sex of my kids, I just want them to be beautiful, smart, and loving people. I want to give them the world and show them they can do anything (within reason). I want to sing to them and play the piano like how my Mom used to do to me. I want to have them braid my hair like how my I did to my Grandma. I want to tell them I love love and I love you. I want to show them how to live and not just survive. I want to show them what a healthy marriage looks like. I want to do so much and love them so badly. But I digress. I wish I could be pregnant and be a Mom.
And I know pregnancy is not always rainbows and butterflies but I would do anything to be able to be pregnant.
submitted by Beautiful-Moon-1989
to u/Beautiful-Moon-1989 [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 23:06 WamBamBetty Thrift store score!! 🐱✨️
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Stopped by a new thrift store today and got this freaky field trip toralei for $1!! Her hair and face need a lil TLC but for the most part she's complete !! :D submitted by WamBamBetty to MonsterHigh [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 23:02 Cocao_Nibs The Duelist in Purple Armor v2 Remastered, Chapter 2
Next Well, it only took Canada burning and the East Coast turning into smoky rendition of a Mexico filter for this chapter to finally reach completion. Regularly-scheduled programming should hopefully resume after July 4th. Until then, drink some water, don't do gender reveals in the forest, and hang in there, guys! Pursuant to Imperial Decree 10928, and in recognition of the reservist nature of the unit, the 1st Rocket Artillery Regiment has been found to satisfy the standards outlined in the Decree. However, in light of the significant budget and nonmaterial resource allocations that were required to bring the aforementioned unit up to levels considered satisfactory by existing standards, additional considerations beyond readiness and training levels must be taken into account. Throughout the appeals process, you have repeatedly indicated that you believe rocket artillery to still have a place on the modern battlefield, citing recent reports from the Terran Planetary District command of the Sol System sector, as well as early after-action reports from the Intervention on Raknos, which you claim to support your argument. However, further investigation into this claim by independent analysts on behalf of Armored Warfare Command has found it to hold no merit in light of the recent restructuring outlined in detail in prior communications. Simply put, neither the Empress, nor her advisors, believe that the maintenance and garrisoning of units intended strictly for low-intensity counter-insurgency operations remains doctrinally viable. Additionally, the excessive monetary and nonmonetary resources you requested in preparation for the evaluation, in light of the on-par, verging on substandard performance of the 1st Rocket Artillery Regiment, even accounting for the large number of fresh troops that needed to be drawn down from other posts to fill out its ranks, is highly suggestive on the part of you, the honorable Ashira Rakishal. This discrepancy is of high importance, and you may rest assured that it has already been publicly filed by the time this letter appears in your inbox. Such a discrepancy is indicative of either incompetence or corruption on your part. Commanding officers may face demotion or a possible dishonorable discharge for the former, or, for the latter, a fine totalling no more than one-and-a-half times the estimated sum of the damages assessed, guaranteed dishonorable discharge and a potential prison term of no more than four years. Due to there being no evidence to suggest the latter, the former approach has been suggested by the Armored Warfare Command. Effective fourteen (14) days after this order is signed, your rank will be reduced and you will be relieved of commanding the Regiment. You may be restationed at this time, and your government-issued devices may be deactivated to facilitate this restationing. The 1st Rocket Artillery Division, in accordance with Decree 10928, will be dissolved and its assets relocated to other units wherever possible. Any remaining property will be auctioned under section 12.57.3(g) of the Naval and Marine Surplus Handling Act of 651 at the Val’tira Central Forwarding Depot.
Ashira finished reading the letter, but the words meant nothing to her. She hadn't slept in half a week, if not longer, in anticipation of the results from her hearing. In fact, she'd hardly gotten up from her desk; the 1st RAR was on leave until the final verdict would be announced publicly, and it was all she could do but to refresh her inbox every few minutes and watch mindless clips in the background that she hardly heard and never managed to remember a word from.
She tried reading it again, but the letters seemed to float off the screen, each one wrapped in a halo of bluish white screen glow. Nothing made sense. 'We were found to be satisfactory, but then… why does it talk about my rank? Am I getting promoted? There was something about dishonorable discharges, too, so… are some of my girls getting let go? I guess I will have to break the news to them. And it said something about budget overruns… well, mom still owes me from when she forgot to get me anything for my eighteenth last month, so I guess she can pay them back for all the equipment and training I had to authorize…'
Her thoughts were already drifting off into a vague haze when her stomach made a low noise, reminding her of the fact that she hadn't eaten in hours, mostly because her supply of food had run dry. Almost in a trance, she rose from her desk and, almost on autopilot, set about getting ready to go out and do some shopping, as she always did. The floor of her living quarters was almost entirely hidden by weeks-old discarded packaging, mountains of dirty clothes, and bottles half-filled with liquid that was either expired juice or urine. Narrow paths snaked through the mess; one to the bathroom, one to her bed, and one more still to the door, which she now slowly shambled towards.
Ashira pulled a pair of battered combat boots over her bare feet - she'd run out of socks that didn't offend her senses some weeks prior - without bothering to lace them, shoved her wallet into the front pocket of the fireproof jumpsuit she wore with absolutely nothing underneath and hadn't changed out of all week, and shoved the door open to head out. Immediately, the smell - or, perhaps, a lack thereof - of the corridor hit her. All the sleeping quarters were locked. It was quiet. Though her boots were heavy, her footsteps barely made a noise as she plodded along the thick, purple and topaz-blue carpet that lined the floor.
The door to the lobby was propped open by a cleaner's cart, and a heavy perfume of chemical detergents wafted through the opening as she approached. In the lobby was a small, older Helkam male, with his long and, in places, graying hair tied back with a beige bandana that matched his civilian contractor's coveralls, just as his green noise-canceling headphones matched the company logo on his uniform. He was dutifully mopping the already nigh-spotless polished stone floor, and there was only a narrow dry strip connecting doorway to doorway.
“‘Scuse me,” she mumbled, tapping him on the shoulder to alert him to her presence. “Coming through.”
He flinched away from her touch, and she flinched away from him, as though his own shock was contagious. “The fuck, you touch me!?” He exclaimed, whipping around to face her, mop at the ready like a Turox-prod. His face burned a pale but furious violet, contorted with fear and a readiness to fight. But, just as suddenly as he’d come to face her, his expression became one of confusion. His mop dipped down, and they stood in silence for a split second that seemed to drag on for entire minutes. Then, he made an odd face, as if of disgust or contempt, and stepped aside, motioning for her to pass by him.
Ashira would have been puzzled by this, if only she were not so frazzled and caught up in her own thoughts. She stepped outside and was immediately hit by a cool breeze; it was night out, and the wind blew in just as it always did. Not that it bothered her much; over the previous months, she had found that it didn’t seem to affect her very much. The only reason she wasn’t feeling the full brunt of the evening gales was that the buildings around the officer’s quarters were mostly two- and three-story affairs, their height and old, weathered stone cladding the last specters of the prominence and prestige the base enjoyed in the long-before times. Before the Unification Wars were but a distant memory. Before the Periphery had become the final, unconquerable frontier. Before the Empress-damned mess that was Raknos. Before Rocket Artillery had become hopelessly obsolete.
The wind blew, relentless and steadfast, as she trudged towards the only place on-base that still had its lights on. The general store. She didn’t know what she wanted to buy there, nor if there would indeed be anything on the shelves that she’d want to buy, but she felt she had to try, anyway. The only rest she could get now was chemically-assisted, either through over-the-counter sleeping pills, or copious volumes of booze, or, when the going got particularly rough, a combination of both. She was vaguely aware of the damage she was probably inflicting upon her organs, but she figured that they were a worthy sacrifice. Still, some days she couldn't fall asleep, even boozed up and medicated as much as she would dare, so she would lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, hoping that the splitting headaches she would get from that chemical cocktail would make her ears ring loud enough to drown out her intrusive thoughts.
The store wasn't particularly warm when she entered, and it reeked of cigarette smoke and mildew as always. The nearest set of shelves to the door were stocked with bags of some sort of imported breaded meat snacks labeled Pufriyah - Ancestral Recipe, Modern Taste!
across the top shelf and cases of Red Grains across the bottom, as if some long-forgotten planner had seen into the future and anticipated Ashira's shopping habits exactly. Without much thought, she pulled a case of the Reds off the bottom shelf, her back, which had been sore for months by then, crying out in pain that just barely cut through her apathy. She threw a few bags of the Pufriyah
snacks on top of it, entirely indifferent to their name, slogan, and brown-furred chibi mascot that spoke to their Rakiri intended consumer base. 'It's all just carbs and protein at the end of the day,'
she figured. It wasn't like she could taste much of them anyway, had she really cared to learn their flavor. It was close to a month prior that she'd caught a nasty cold, and her constant sleep deprivation and stress hadn't lent themselves to it clearing itself up on its own. Her senses of taste and smell were unnecessary to her whipping her unit into shape, she'd decided, once she learned that the antivirals she needed to take to make her symptoms clear up would need her to be on bed rest for three straight days. She could always take them later, anyway.
The bottles of Red Grain clanked against each other as Ashira heaved the case onto the checkout counter. The bags on top of it slid off, and she only just caught them in time. The noise awoke the lone cashier, another civilian contractor, from her nap atop her wobbly three-legged stool. She quite inelegantly hopped off of it and came to lean against the counter with one hand, the other lazily waving the scanner of a specialized Data-Slate over the merchandise.
"ID for the Reds," the cashier groggily slurred out, patting down her many pockets in search of a cigarette box. "Standard procedure, nothing personal against you."
Ashira stared at her, dumbfounded, for a few moments too many, before it hit her that she needed to pull up her Marine Profile on her Slate. Mumbling an apology mixed with an excuse, she reached into one of the few - albeit cavernously huge - pockets of her fireproof suit and produced the grimy government-issue device in question. The lock screen was set to her ID, just to make such common interactions go by quicker.
She pushed the Slate across the counter, expecting to get it slid back to her in a few moments, and maybe a manufactured smile and a nod if the cashier noticed the Rakishal House crest in the corner and realized she was of noble blood. But this time, none of that happened. The woman across from her frowned, squinting as she analyzed something about the ID, her face no more than perhaps a few centimeters from it. She looked up at Ashira, then back down at the ID, then back at her, and then all of a sudden her confusion melted into some odd mixture of shock and disgust. She wordlessly pushed the Slate back across the counter, scanned the case of Red Grain, and then motioned to a now very baffled and somewhat offended Ashira that she was free to leave.
In her sleep-deprived state, Ashira had barely the mental capacity to remember where the door was, much less to ponder the deeper meaning behind what had transpired. Vowing to come back the next day, after getting a good night's sleep, and get the insolent cashier fired, she trudged out of the shop, back to the officers' quarters, where the Helkam man was still toiling away in the lobby, now wiping down the Turox-leather seats, and into her own suite.
She brushed the most egregious of the trash from her bed, with the arm that wasn't clutching the spoils of her trek to her chest, and allowed gravity to gracelessly guide her into its soft, fitted-sheet embrace. With a sigh of barely-felt relief, she cracked the cap off her first bottle with her tusks and took a long, well-earned swig.
The next thing she knew, it was morning.
Everything hurt. Ashira's muscles all ached like she'd run every Deathshead Commando bootcamp course, back-to-back, without stopping. Her head felt like a bloated, rotten gourd, ready to burst at the slightest touch. Even though her eyes were closed, what little light made it through them felt as though it was piercing straight through her eyeballs and into her brain. However, through it all, she noted an odd, almost pleasant sensation that she hadn't felt in so long, she'd almost forgotten the word for it. 'Empress all-powerful, this must be the first time in almost a year that I've had a full night's sleep!'
Ashira would have kept laying there, exactly where she was. The room was quiet. No one needed her. Her unit was stood down for another few days. She could just stay in bed, in peace, and wait for the pain to subside. But the very second she considered that possibility, her bladder cried in agony, and she simultaneously came to the realizations that she would not be able to hold it in for even a minute longer, and that she was wearing her only set of relatively-clean clothes.
She pushed herself up and onto her feet, and that motion sent showers of sparks cascading through her vision, even as her eyes stayed firmly shut. Her ears rang from the pain as though she'd stuck her head between the prongs of a colossal tuning fork, her limbs felt numb as she stumbled through her room, and the only way she could tell up from down was from the direction gravity kept pulling her every time she lost her balance.
She hit the door frame to the bathroom by chance, only recognizing it as the right one by the light switch her elbow painfully caught. From there, she went entirely by feel. There was the sink, the towel rack, the soap dispenser, the shower door… and finally, having run out of wrong things to blindly grope around for, her hand bumped into the tank of the toilet. Even bending down made her head fill with the pounding beat of her heart, every pulse seeming to try and push her brain out of her skull through her eyes and ears. She nearly blacked out as she sat down.
The next thing Ashira knew, she was doubled over her sink, dry-heaving, her fireproof pants pulled back up around her waist but neither zipped shut nor clipped together at the front. She knew for certain that nothing had come up, because she was newly aware of the desiccated dryness in her mouth and throat, as if all her flesh had been replaced with fine-grit sandpaper. Still lacking the resolve to open her eyes, she blindly clawed at the knobs of the sink until water began to pour, and then began scooping handfuls of it into her mouth.
After a few gulps, she began to feel a bit better. Her mouth, though it still felt dry as ever, was at least now rid of the horrible, sour, metallic taste that she hadn't registered until it was gone, and the unintentional splashing of water onto her face did wonders in helping her start to truly wake up. The very next instant, though, a numbing pain spread across her hands and face, and down her throat. The water was freezing cold.
That didn't deter Ashira, though, and she kept drinking until she knew that she would not be able to swallow a drop more without throwing up. Her hands were numb from the frigid water, as was her face. Icy rivulets streamed down her chin and throat and under her unzipped collar, leaving cool, glistening trails across her breasts and stomach.
Somehow, this numbness that spread across her fingers and cheeks seemed to have carried over to her hangover, as well, though whether it was the rapid cooling, or the much-needed hydration, or both, she neither knew nor cared. Her head now hurt with the intensity of just any old headache, her skin did not feel two sizes too small for her organs, and her muscles and joints barely ached with any more intensity than they usually did.
She opened her eyes for the first time since she'd gotten out of bed, ready and eager to take full advantage of her hangover cure while its effects still lasted, and almost fell over as she stumbled away from the mirror in shock. The reflection in the mirror was decidedly not
Bloodshot eyes stared out at her from dark, sunken orbits; two craters on a puffy face rendered a waxy, pale bluish lilac by months of near-total involuntary isolation from the daylight. Raven hair framed that lifeless visage, once kept neat and short, now a wild, greasy, and, above all, long Seetcha's nest. It had once had lively sun-bleached streaks where her beret and headset did not fully cover it, from when she would ride head-out in her trusty command Ishtarti-603, but they were now mere faded tips spread unevenly through the carbon-black tangle.
The rest of her was not in much better shape. Her bust, though always on the fuller size, was nonetheless noticeably larger than it had been the last time Ashira had inspected her reflection, and doubtless was the cause of her incessant back pain. In the same moment, she became aware that her breasts rested not against the top of her six-pack - which, while rarely worked out and never particularly defined, had, in its mere presence, still been a point of quiet pride for her - but at the upper limits of a beer gut, whose faint outline was visible even under the baggy suit she was wearing for the umpteenth day in a row, and which stood as a testament to the inertia she had descended into while trying to force the RAR into motion. 'Fuck, there's the evidence of my battle. Mom was right, I do eat like a Turox before the slaughter. I have no self-control. Why do I even bother with this restructuring business if I can't even keep to my own damn fitness goals?'
Her gloom, though deep and all-consuming while it weighed upon her soul, dissipated just as quickly as it set in. 'But I knew it would happen, so why does it surprise me? I knew going in that I was burning myself up in the present to keep future me warm. It's just a few kilos. A dozen at most. No big deal. Just need a bit more exercise for a month or two and I'll be right back in parade shape!'
It did, however, make her think to place an order with the on-base supply depot for some new clothes. With the Unification Day festivities looming, it would simply not do for this quite temporary distortion of her Noble figure to be so brazen, she firmly decided.
The order would have to wait, however. When Ashira brought out her government-issued Data-Slate from her front pocket in a familiar motion, already compiling a list of all the workout gear, field uniforms, and parade garb she would need in a size up, the device, in an apparent bout of unruliness, first resisted her efforts to turn it on, and when it was finally made to do so, simply boot-looped endlessly on the startup screen. For all intents and purposes, it was a Slate-shaped paperweight, and Ashira didn’t even have enough physical documents in her possession to make use of this one purpose it had left. ‘First my clothes, now the one Slate mom can’t track me on. What’s next, is my ID going to expire all of a sudden? Will my physical Chit card have a bad contact?’
There was only so much she could take at one time, so she decided to do the sensible thing and get something to eat before returning to dealing with her problems. She pulled out her Slate. It was almost noon. 'No one needs to see me like this. How can I command the regiment if they see me in such a state? I'll order breakfast - well, lunch now, but who's really counting? - and I can join everyone for dinner, once I get a chance to order in some new clothes, and shower, and maybe do something with my hair.'
With a practiced motion, so automatic it was almost a reflex, she swiped through the interface until she found what she was looking for. There, between Combatters
forum sites, was a saved page for the Hungry Gal's
order menu. Her chit was already saved in the system. All she needed was to tap on "Large Hot Meal #5 - Drink Combo" and… CHIT DECLINED - PAYMENT BLOCKED
"That can't be right," Ashira muttered aloud as she tapped the button again, over and over, to the same effect. "It's a government card. Unless- ah, right, it must be the new policy they were talking about! Can't believe they made food expenses count as personal expenditure only, the nerve of these credit-pinching…"
She went into the payment details section of the page, switched the number to her personal one, and selected "Large Hot Meal #5 - Drink Combo" again. This time, a new message appeared. INVALID ACCOUNT - DEACTIVATED
The gnawing hunger in her stomach disappeared in an instant, replaced by a solid iron bar of dread. Why was her account deactivated? Who could have done it? The only other person with access privileges was her own mother, and why would she…?
Ashira knew the answer. She didn't want to know it, to acknowledge that she knew it for fear of what it meant, but she did. With shaking hands, she opened the notification screen of her Slate, and saw she had unread messages from her family group chat. She tapped that notification, expecting a deluge of fury about her weight, her spending habits, her slovenly appearance in public, or any manner of other things, but there was but one message, sent earlier that morning. It was from her mother, indeed, but it was just four words long. I got the letter.
She wanted to protest, to scream, "What letter could you possibly mean?," but she couldn't. A memory, hazy from the fog of insomnia that had dulled her thoughts at the time, played against her volition in her mind. The words hadn't made sense to her then, but they did now. Robotically, she closed the message from her mother and searched through her inbox for one marked with a government seal. She opened it, and read it in silence. The last few lines were the hardest to read, because by then the tears had begun to well up in her eyes.
It was over. Her career, her noble status, her finances, her life as she knew it… they were all gone, and it had taken just one letter to send it all crashing down.
submitted by Cocao_Nibs
to Sexyspacebabes [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 22:54 otonielpm Tired of everything
One year ago I moved to a new country expecting that maybe I'd feel more comfortable here, but after these months I just feel as socially isolated as I felt when I was in my country.
I have always felt this sensation that socially I don't fit anywhere and after 33 years I'm just tired of that feeling. I'm tired of wanting to buy something but not doing it because I need to go to a store in person, I'm tired of going to cut my hair but retuning without getting it because I wasn't able to actually enter to the saloon, I'm tired of feeling uncomfortable because I'm in an event and either I'm speaking with someone new or I'm alone no speaking with anyone, and I'm tired of feeling uncomfortable in almost any new social interaction.
When I was a kid I was hoping that maybe when I'd be an adult, I'd figure everything out, and I'd behave with the same freedom as everyone else, but now I just feel that every year is more difficult to socialize, I have less social skills and just feel more anxious before any new social event.
Besides that, the summer just makes everything worse, I see a lot of people outside with their friends enjoying the good weather, and I just ask to myself why I'm not able to have that, what I'm doing wrong.
Sorry if this doesn't make any sense, English in not my first language and I just needed some catharsis. I actually go regularly to teraphy and that has help, but there are some days that are particularly more difficult than other ones...
submitted by otonielpm
to socialanxiety [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 22:42 Interesting-City3000 I got the Georgia new in box from Macys a couple months ago and the Georgia on the left I got naked at the thrift store. And I just noticed their different faces. I like them both, but which do y’all like more:)
2023.06.08 22:36 PepperNK Topical melatonin/cetirizine instructions
This is a comment I made on a post earlier today. I’m making a post of it because I think it’s important that people get a chance to try other proven methods before trying finasteride or minoxidil. This topical may not help with bringing hair back (although it has been seen in studies but not reliably) but it should help with keeping hair from shedding or falling out. It may not work for everyone but it works for me. It should be noted that insulin resistance, cholesterol, testosterone, shbg, prolactin, blood sugar, and obviously genetics are also major factors in hair loss.
As always avoid sugar, refined carbs, and alcohol. Destress/Lower cortisol levels through medications or therapy. Be sure to get all needed vitamins and minerals (omega-3, vitamin D, zinc, and magnesium are major ones). Micro needle if you’re able too. Use nizoral, TGel, or TSal at least twice a week. Avoid inflammatory foods and foods that contain high amounts of omega-6 linoleic acid, and that one is for your overall health but it can affect hair health also.
EDIT: corrected the melatonin dosage. It was supposed to 6-1mg tablets because that’s what I used. But I upped it to 10mg because you can run the risk of losing some if not dissolved all the way.
Here’s the comment:
It seems like the DHT itch. It’s common for a lot of people experiencing hair loss. It’s usually itchy where the hair is actively falling out. I notice a few hairs come off when I rub or scratch that itchy area. One thing I’ve noticed tho is that if i eliminate the itch I eliminate the shedding.
So I read countless studies and made a topical based off the products they use as well as ingredients from other products that help with hair loss and almost completely eliminated my itch and my shedding stopped. It’s more or less cheap and worth a try. Here’s my recipe for the topical, thank fuck for chatGPT.
Here are the instructions for creating a topical hair loss solution with melatonin and cetirizine (Zyrtec). The final mixture will contain 1% of each component.
• A 2-ounce dropper bottle • A sealable glass container for dissolving tablets • A glass vessel for gathering the filtered solution • Coffee filters • Melatonin tablets (1-10mg) • Cetirizine (Zyrtec) tablets (6-10mg) • 70% ethyl alcohol • Propylene glycol
1. Start by pouring approximately 35ml of ethyl alcohol into a glass or metal container. An extra dropper bottle would work fine for this. 2. Crush your melatonin and cetirizine tablets into a fine powder, and add this into the container with the ethyl alcohol. 3. Securely close the container to prevent the alcohol from evaporating, which could alter your final concentration. 4. Shake the container vigorously to help dissolve the tablet powder into the alcohol. Leave the solution to sit for about an hour, then give it another good shake. Continue this process for about 4-5 hours to ensure everything is thoroughly dissolved. 5. Next, you’ll need to filter the solution. Using a coffee filter, slowly pour the solution into an empty, clean glass container. This step helps remove any remaining tablet particulates. 6. Discard the coffee filter and any leftover residue. The solution might look different based on the tablets used. It could be clear or slightly milky. 7. Carefully pour the filtered solution into the clean, empty 2oz dropper bottle. It should fill just over half of the bottle. 8. Now, measure out 24ml of propylene glycol and add this to the solution in the dropper bottle. If measured correctly, it should nearly fill the bottle, but you can add a bit more until it reaches the top.
Usage and Storage:
• Your solution is now ready. It should last for about a month or even longer. To extend its shelf life, store it in a cool, dark place, preferably the refrigerator. • Apply the solution to your scalp, focusing on the areas experiencing hair loss, or you can spread it all over. It’s recommended to use it twice a day. • Shake the bottle before each application. If you’re applying to multiple areas, remember to shake the bottle between applications. • Some people reported decreased hair shedding within 3 days of usage. • If you wish, you can add other beneficial ingredients like resveratrol or various oils, but keep in mind this could affect the measurements.
Always remember to do a patch test before applying any new product on your scalp, and consult your doctor if you have any doubts or concerns.
submitted by PepperNK
to tressless [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 22:27 m80mike I Was a Pilot on Strike. This is Why We Went Back to Work.
Summary: A labor dispute coupled with an outbreak of unknown disease pushes all sides to war and a new truth.
I Was a Pilot on Strike. This is Why We Went Back to Work.
I was the second in command activist pilot in the Union based at O'Hare International, the unofficial headquarters of the strike movement. I remember when our strike started to heat up very vividly.
Fred, our Union boss, and Leo, the first in command activist, were sitting in the pilot's lounge, watching the tv coverage flash our picket lines from airports across the country. Something like “what do we want? The Package. When do we want it? Now!”
The Package was the nickname for our list of demands which included more security in the wake of the so-called Body Bombings last year, better pay and benefits, more job security, and perhaps, most controversially, cleaner fuel and fuel efficiency standards for current and future airliners.
The TV chirped up again, “well, folks its the twenty first day of the pilot strike most jets have been grounded now for the last eighteen as the pilots and their associated ground personnel unions have occupied major airports – only major international carriers at the coastal hubs are landing or departing now as we've seen a huge increase in train and car travel as we approach the fourth of july weekend. That's right, and our next top story as we gather for the holiday for first time after the omicron wave, health officials are advising to watch out for symptoms of a new skin...”
Fred hit mute on the remote. Fred was a balding, thick man, with thick arm hair, rolling over his grizzled sun burned flesh like barbed wire.
Leo lit up a cigarette. Leo was short, thin, and young in his looks but old, like faux 50's old in his heart. “There's no smoking in here, Leo,” Fred said sternly.
Leo didn't flinch.
Then Fred broke a smile and chuckled.
“Media bums aren't even interested in what we want anymore.” I said.
“Only these media bums. Follow the money.” Leo mumbled over his cancer stick. “That media group got a lot of money out of the bailout. Probably more than us.”
Fred looked at his watch, “We should probably get going.”
“Make em sweat for once, for Christ sake.” Leo nearly spat out his smoke.
“I'm with Leo on this one, Fred” I said.
So we made the negotiators sweat a little longer.
About an hour later we finally met them at the table. We sat on the left, the various airline owners sat on the right. This was the third time during the last three weeks but now, there was a new guy at the head of the table, a Federal mediator.
The Mediator had black rimmed almost square glasses, thick gray hair, and a blotchy face, “I'm calling this meeting to order. Before I present this offer, I have impress upon both sides how essential it is we start our air travel again soon, both for the holiday but also the good of the country. I am at this time presenting a voluntary compromise – officially, the Federal government supports the pilots' initiative to enhance security in the wake of the last year's incidents and we are prepared to use some of the unspent bailout money to supplement private airliner's initiatives and spending. We are also sympathetic to pilots and ground crews positions on their pay and benefits. The Federal government, however, is not, at this time, interested in imposing nor supporting job security, nor fuel charges nor efficiency standards. I yield to the industry representatives for comment.”
The chief industry rep, Michelson Connery, was a young looking, smooth talking, sleaze bag with jet black hair from New Jersey who had a habit of touching his coke inflamed nose every five minutes or so.
“You know back in Jersey, we're used to being shaken down, as they say. Now we appreciate the nice talk, we appreciate your brass knuckles and tommy guns are firmly tucked away, we appreciate you're giving us a break or too, but a shake down is a shake down none the less. No deal. I yield.”
Fred sat up in his chair, his mouth agape, he cleared his throat while adjusting his microphone, “No deal.” He flopped back into his chair.
“Before we depart,” the Mediator quelled the commotion as both parties began to leave, “As I said the federal government has a strong interest in resuming flights as soon as possible, we are considering using our unique power to impose a settlement on the Union, if necessary.”
Fred lurched forward, “What kind of power? What kind of threat is this?”
“It's no threat.” The Mediator paused, “It's a threat to a threat, if necessary, we will invoke our powers under various emergency statutes to effectively Federalize pilots and ground crews – under those provisions, we would impose work or removal provisions to settle this.”
“That's total bull!” Fred lunged at the Mediator, “You're basically telling us all they have to do is wait it until you force us back to work! And what about the future? These efficiency standards aren't just about hippie dippie environmental stuff, its about fleet upgrades, fleet safety and thus worker and pilot safety!”
“Gentlemen, please, I putting something on the table and it has neither a definite nor indefinite timeline – in the meanwhile, your adversaries are hemorrhaging cash and depreciating their capital and you're folks – especially your ground crew union, are running out savings – I suggest you both, in good faith, consider the current and official Federal position in good time to sort this out sooner than later rather than a threat of a threat become a threat. Good day.”
Within hours, each side called a respective press conference. Industry denounced the compromise set out by the Feds while we denounced their denouncement. Neither side budged and neither side disclosed the Mediator's so called “threat of a threat”. We sat on the picket lines for another week as each side floated various non-serious proposals and misinformation in the media. We found ourselves back in the pilot lounge before our next round of serious negotiations. This time Fred and Leo were both smoking while I had to exhale bad news.
“The ground crew union is gunna crack first, Industry is offering them a side deal and I think they're gunna take it. They go back to work, it's gunna be next to impossible to leverage the whole of the hubs, then the scabs come in, they'll just work around us.” I told Leo and Fred. “Then we maybe we should float lower pay increases for ourselves. Overall, you pay the few pilots a little bit more, you pay the huge ground crew nothing more, that sounds like the win for us and Industry.” Leo pitched back. “Leo, where do we stand on public support?” Fred inquired.
“I don't know.”
“What do you mean you don't know?”
Leo clicked on the TV, “our top story tonight, farm fields across the country are now being seemingly afflicted by some kind of blight resulting in, at in some cases, widespread crop failures as the department of agriculture is mum. Meanwhile, more and more people are reporting severe skin deformations and damage while the CDC has been all but muzzled save for recommending that people stay inside and avoid direct sunlight. At this time there is speculation but no official word the crop blight and the skin disease are connected.” “See, it's all blight this, blight that.”
“So fake,” Fred said, “I've been out in the damn sun all week on the line and I've got nothing. Whatever the damn news wants to keep real progress from being made here. Anyway, I say we stay the course and we firm it up with the ground crews, have some solidarity.”
There was a knock on the door, “heh, maybe this good news.” Fred left his seat to open the door. A neutral representative walked through and announced the Federal Mediator has canceled the session. Leo and I brewed up from our seats to go raise holy hell with Fred at the mediator's delegation when all the television screens in the lounge turned to an Emergency Announcement Service message. Leo fumbled to unmute the television as the seal of the office of the President blasted on all the screens. “My fellow Americans, it is with great dismay that after nearly a month of grounded air travel across these great United States, because of a dispute over many complex issues, I am forced to use the power legislated to the executive branch by various emergency statutes, that I am announcing the immediate federalization of pilots and ground crews. Effective immediately, they will have a forty eight hour cooling off period before I am ordering them, as federal employees, to return to work or be dismissed. Also, their demands for higher pay and better benefits will be met in part by the conditions of Federal employment. I will be going to Congress, in the morning, to seek long term funding for our new national employees to secure their jobs for a long while. Any deviation from this will have significant physical consequences...”
The TV trailed off as representatives from the ground crews burst into the room in a ruckus, “Long term employment my ass! That jackass knows this is a bandaid – there's no way Congress is gunna pay us, in ninety days, we're as good as fired, begging for our old jobs with no retirement and no Unions.” Ground Crew Union Head Reggie Weston flipped off the TV. “I say, we sit on the damn runways after forty eight hours! You're with us, right? Can I get a yes yes?”
“And here we heard you were about to sell us out and now you're all about it huh?” Leo grumbled. “It was nothing like that. I swear. You know how much talk flies.” Reggie looked offended.
“I'm with Reggie, this is unbelievable, just like that our retirement plan, what? Probably gone? We're not employees anymore afterall. Forced to work – basically at gunpoint now. No. No. No.” I said. “Fred?” Leo prodded.
Fred stood there scratching his scalp in dismay and despair then he straightened himself up, took a drag off his smoke, and turned to us, “Tell all folks, we're going to war.”
We were a bit concerned some of the locals might pull off on the eve of the forty eight hour period but when the forty ninth came, they were steadfast and when they fired us, and then the cops came in, we were ready, both in the courts, and on the lines. On day four, ninety six hours after the announcement, the picket lines were more like trenches, and the pilot's lounge a war room. Each airport was a mini Battle of Blair Mountain. I had my arm wrapped up in an ice pack from a rubber bullet ricochet while Leo was still furiously blinking out yesterday's pepper spray. Fred hadn't been back from the riot on the runways.
Rocks, molotov cocktails scorch marks, and burned out tear gas canisters dotted the parking lots and tarmacs. Overturned vending machines, kiosks, and stacked chairs and tables from the food courts barricaded the concourses. A fire started in one of the hangers and it only just now started to burn itself out. They cut the power and we sweltered in that Midwest heat as we quickly discovered how poorly insulating all of the windows actually were. We had a few generators but they were being used to run the CCTV cameras which we connected to some of the TVs in the pilot's lounge so we could see which direction the next charge was coming from and send out warnings.
On the fifth day an injunction had been filed and granted against the entire federalization and the cops withdrew to their side of the no man's land. It wasn't a moment too soon as we the pilots and the ground crews were nearly depleted.
It was early that morning as the leadership started to gather in the pilot's lounge that we got our first of several mortifying discoveries.
Reggie held a flashlight to his bruised face as he announced, “We lost contact with our brothers at LAX and Denver International.”
“How? Why? Did they surrender?”
“I don't know about LAX but I got this out of Denver.” Reggie played a video on his phone. It was poorly lit and unsteady but in the dark of the early morning you could make out the sound and outline of two large transport helicopters. As they hovered for a landing, someone out of the frame shone a large flashlight against the side. The helicopters were civilian in design and bore the shield of a notorious private military contractor – the Blackdogs. Some one else shouts “get ready!” as black tactical troops streamed out of the choppers and the video abruptly ends.
“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, “They're gunna try to Pinkerton us.”
“What about the damn injunction?” Leo stormed.
“It's an injunction on the feds, the cops. These are private operators. I'm assuming that they're bought and paid for by Industry.”
“You think they're gunna kill us?” Leo pondered.
It was then, the for the first time, during all of this, even after taking that rubber bullet, that I felt real fear and real uncertainty about the outcome and justness of all of it. It was the first time I considered blinking. Then it got worse.
There was a commotion at the door as some of the ground crew and pilots pulled in a makeshift stretcher with Fred laying on it.
“Oh my God, what did they do to him?” Leo exclaimed as he came to help pull him into the room. There was too many people around to see Fred clearly, something like a towel was covering most his face and head. Fred could barely speak and was clearly in some kind of distress. My thought was tear gas but none had been fired for hours and usually someone inundated with it start everyone off into similar distress.
The crowd broke as I huddled in, I shown my flashlight around him to see.
“Pull it off, pull it off, they have to see” Fred gasped.
Some of the ground crew members pulled off the towel and I could plainly see Fred's face and head – what was left of it anyway. I staggered back a step.
“It's the Blight, guys, half of the ground crew, they look like this, now!” Fred yelled. “I can't, I can't feel any of it and I can't see!”
His eyes were whited out like he had severe cataracts and his head, most of his face, and arms were encrusted in bulging, asymmetric, blotches, lesions, and black marks of various sizes and textures. It looked like he had been horribly burned.
“Hey, guys!” Reggie barked out over the shock and attempts to help Fred. “Cameras are down!”
“Well when the shit did that happen?” Leo exploded as he buzzed around the jerry rigged monitors hoping to get signal back.
I picked up my radio and asked everyone to report in, the south, east, and west reported but the north was just static.
Leo tried to rally some of the guys helping Frank to head to the north but they and Fred protested saying there weren't enough guys without the Blight to go stop a push if there was one. Everyone was silent just a moment and in that moment we heard the sound of some thirty guns cocking just outside of the pilot's lounge door.
“Fred Little, Leo Jones, and Mark Debs, step out of the lounge slowly and peacefully, we wish to negotiate the end of this.”
“Fred is incapacitated,” I yelled back with a dry mouth, “Reggie Weston of the Ground Crew Union, Leo and I stepping down. Don't shoot.” I said sheepishly.
Leo and Reggie looked to me to push open the door as I did I was immediately blinded by the tactical lights of some twenty or so submachine guns.
The same voice came again, “keep stepping through the lights, that's it, nice and slow, no one is going to hurt you. I just want to talk and show you something.”
Leo and I made it past the lights into a glare lit spot of the terminal where the commander of this platoon of Blackdogs with his two personal retinue stood with their helmets off, “I'm commander Don Doughty. I'm here on behalf of country and I would like to share something with you.”
“Commander, with all due respect, there's an injunction in place.”
“I know, that's why this is a private operation, not a military or police one.”
“Look, we don't have to go with you.”
“Look, you do. Now I'm going to level with both of you. We stormed the other airports today, you probably heard, a lot of my company men are hurt, a few near death, but we know you're not holding out. We know most of you have the Blight now and that's why we're here.”
“Why you're here, huh? No dedicated medical personnel, no biohazard suits? Kind of strange for what you're saying is a mission of medical mercy for a disease of unknown origin?” Leo perked up.
“It's not unknown. In fact, it's one of the most common diseases around. What is still unknown is if I have to drag you to what I want to show you or if you'll come willingly.”
Leo and I looked at each other and then back at Don. He was disarming and rational, something I hardly expected but he also had our number and between the Blight and the willingness of the government to now literally put guns to our heads to go back to work, I had so many questions and he was offering the answers. Leo and I went willing. We stepped out of the terminal and took a motorized cart to the fuel hangers as Don requested.
On the cart, Don started to open up, “Leo, Mark, tell me what you know about chemtrails.”
Leo scoffed while I replied, “chemtrails, yeah, I've some whacko come up to me in a few bars shouting in my ear about how as a pilot I am unwittingly spraying geo-engineering materials to change the Earth or make global warming real or spreading COVID or nerve gas in contrails. The kookiness seems to change by season. Why?”
“Next question. Do either of you know what CFC's are?”
Leo piped up, “Chloroflorocarbons, I think. They used to be used in fridges and spray cans before they were banned in the 80's – virtually globally because they were screwing up the ozone layer.”
We arrived at the hanger where the fuel was stored. Another small group of Blackdog troopers had one of the ground crew members in detention near the partially open sliding door. His badge was gone but I recognized the ground crew member as part of the fuel truck lead team.
“What does this have to do with anything?” I asked. As we all were led into the hanger where the fuel trucks were stored.
Don, out of no where saluted the fuel truck leader. To my astonishment, the fuel truck leader saluted back. They shared a “semper fi – once a marine – always a marine!” and then Don beckoned him, “show them, it's okay, show them what you know, show them what you do.”
The fuel trucker turn a spigot on the back of the fuel truck nearest to him and splashed some jet fuel from the truck on the hanger floor and then shone a UV flashlight on it and the truck without any change. He muttered out, “Ordinary jet fuel.” Then, turning to the truck adjacent to him, he shone the same uv light and there was a square code marking that appeared on the back of the truck. He turned the spigot on that truck, splashed out a bit of the fuel and then shone the light on it. The fuel reflected back a dazzling brilliant display of glow as it flowed across the concrete. “Not so ordinary jet fuel.”
“Now you see gentlemen, for the past fifty years or so, we've known that CFCs were impacting the ozone layer and created a hole, you were told, like everyone else, that the hole was healing and mostly fixed after we banned CFC's and other substances. Well, in truth, that's only partially correct, its healing or mostly fixed because we fixed it, or more accurately, because the great people who work in the sky and ground, by sheer volume of air travel across the world, had been burning this modified fuel, depositing its unique chemical composition into the atmosphere at altitude to keep that ozone hole closed or at least as protective as possible. Without it, well, look at your boss, look at the fields of crops failing across the country, look at the hospitals around the country filling up with ionizing radiation burn and cancer victims. Without you, there's holes in the ozone breaking open all over the North American continent.”
“We really have been spraying chemtrails this whole time.” Reggie murmured.
“Now, let me explain to you how this is going to work – as we speak, other Blackdogs, funded by the Federal government, are infiltrating every airport in the country and showing the rest of your leadership the same thing you just saw. We're also showing this to Industry. We're getting you the Mediator's deal. You'll have your old jobs back, and while a handful of you will go to jail for the rioting, none of you will be convicted of felonies or serve time. That's the deal. All you have to say is yes and tell everyone to go back to work now and then, with you all back in the air and back on the ground, the Blight will end.
In the end we went back to work, we took the deal. If you can call it a deal. It wasn't a deal but essentially a reboot with a cost of living increase. The other option was that some of us would be imprisoned, fined, be out of a job and oh yes, Leo, Reggie, and I shot on spot.
We were sworn to secrecy over the truth about the ozone layer and chemtrails but I'm breaking it. I'm breaking it because you deserve the truth. I know that this will end up in the internet gutter realm of aliens and bigfoot but I don't care. I'm big guy, a big name, and if anything happens to me, like an “accident”, I'm pretty sure that would only lend credence to what I've told you here.
submitted by m80mike
to ChillingApp [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 22:22 demondork224 [F4GM] Oide Yo! Welcome to Mizuryuu Kei Land U.S.A's Grand Opening Week!!
I’m 18+ and all characters and participants must be 18+
"Oide Yo! My name is Honoka~! And it is my great pleasure to welcome you all to Mizuryuu Kei Land U.S.A's Grand opening~!!" A very busty, pink haired woman appeared on the screen at the front of the transportation bus. The only thing she was red heart shaped pasties over her nipples and pussy, a red armband that read "cast", and matching elbow length gloves and thigh high stockings.
"As Mizuryuu Kei Land U.S.A's first ever guests, we have many great surprises in store for you all~! Unfortunately I can't talk about them, you all will just have to see them for yourself~. But what I can talk about is all of the amazing "worlds" that Mizuryuu Kei Land has!
Starting with the Beginner Area, this part of the park is the first thing you see once you leave the gear area. In Mizuryuu Kei Lands original location in Japan. This is the area where our shy guests spend their time. Mizuryuu Kei Land is all about sexual freedom, and sometimes that can be very scary. For guests that aren't as open with their sexuality as others. But that's OK! For most guest all it takes is one ride on the "Meet N Fuck FerrisWheel" to break them out of their shell. Apart from the Ferris wheel, the Beginner Area also has other attractions for both men and women. The Dildo Carousel, and Glory Mystery Wall are both very popular attractions.
The Urban Jungle is a place where our guest can live their exhibitionist fantasies. Built to look like New York City. Guests here can live out their wildest public sex fantasies. Sure fucking in public is what the park is all about. But there is something special about fucking in a city environment. And in the Urban Jungle there is a place for every fantasy. From bars and clubs, to all types of store recreations, and of course all types of dirty alleys and public restrooms. It is a guarantee that you will never have the same experience when you visit the Urban Jungle.
From Urban Jungle to actual Jungle. Where the Wild Whores Are, is the ultimate pet play experience. Men and women alike can live out their most depraved fantasies of living as fuck pets. The area is divided into several "habitats". A tropical jungle, a pet walking park, and "the zoo". So if you want to let out your wild side, or want to know what it feels like to own your own fuckpet come on down to to Where the Wild Whores Are.
There are many more areas inside of Mizuryuu Kei Land. So many that I am unable to inform you about all of them in such short amount of time. Unfortunately due to legal reasons I am also unable to discuss what goes on inside of areas like our Raceplay World, and Land of Beasts. You will just have to experience those places for yourself hehe~.
Now I'll leave you all by letting you know that as our lucky week long guests. You all have the ability to switch hotels at any point during your stay for free. There are many themed hotels inside of the parks areas. And we want you all to be able to experience as many of our facilities as you can~!
Other than please enjoy all the amazing attractions, restaurants, facilities, events, and both staff and guest contest. Your ride is now at its end. Welcome to Mizuryuu Kei Land U.S.A!
Hello dear pervs :3. And thank you for reading my Mizuryuu Kei Land roleplay idea. Based off of the original doujinshi, I want to create a story that severely expands on the world that wonderfully depraved doujinshi created.
So I did not emphasize a "main character" during the prompt. That is because there are many different characters that we can choose from for this rp.
There is Honoka, the current peppy mascot of Mizuryuu Kei Land U.S.A. Who gets to live in the park and do all sorts of fun events for the guest. Unfortunately she did not read her contract to well. And now she has to fight for the right to keep her job as the parks mascot. Or be replaced by another slut.
There is also Natalia, a college student who's friend was somehow able to score 3 tickets fo the theme parks grand opening week. As a closet pervert Natalia was basically dragged along by her friends. In an attempt to get her to loosen up. Oh if only they knew the bitch in heat they unleashed in the park.
Another option is Stephanie, a 30 year old single mother who was given a ticket by her best friend as a birthday present. She didn't really want to come, as she felt the idea of the park was disgusting. But accepted to go anyway as it was a gift from her friend. The question is will Stephanie be able to come out of the park as the same woman she was when she got there? Or will the depravity of the park turn her into a shameless slutty milf?
And finally there is Evelyn, a recently graduated journalism major and self proclaimed artist. Who infiltrated the park by getting a job as a staff member. As she is trying to launch her career as a real journalist. By exposing Mizuryuu Kei Land as a corrupt cesspool of depravity, and misogyny. Created by the "Patriarchy" to force a narrative that women are nothing but sex objects. Will Evelyn be able to find enough evidence to prove this? Or will the parks influence and its "secret board of directors" turn her into the thing she hates the most, a whore?
The park is basically a sandbox, where we can create anything we want. The only limit for what story we can create is literally our imaginations! So as my GM you will have a lot of creative freedom for what ever lewd attraction, event, store,etc. You want to add to the park.
As for what I am looking for in a partner? I'm looking for someone literate, creative, who can match my writing. Be it multiple paragraphs if the need arises, or just short replies. Really just someone as excited as I am for this prompt. So if my prompt interested you, then please message me at Demondork on Kik. Chat will be ignored, and long detailed replies will get my attention first.
Kinks and limits list:
Kinks: cum, cum eating, cum food, cum play,bukkake,cream pie,bdsm, bondage, forced, body writing, spanking, cuddling, degradation, rough partners, sizeplay, dominant partners, toys, multiple partners, spit roasting, mating press, full Nelson,frenching,rimming,body oil,bestiality,water sports,wax play,sex machines,being filmed,cosplay,NTR,petplay,exhibitionism,biting and pretty much anything that isn’t my limits
Scat,gore,vore,hyper sizes,necro and vomit
submitted by demondork224
to KikRoleplayers [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 22:15 averybabery Some days are simple, some days aren’t…
2023.06.08 22:05 am_i_the_grasshole The difference in treatment I get when I where my normal hair versus a straight wig is still shocking to me
I moved to a new city in the north and I’ve noticed the racial tensions here seem to be much higher than where I’m from. The people here seem very hostile and aggressive towards black people even though it is known as a liberal place. The subreddit of this town is especially wild people will not even be shy about it, they openly discuss ways to push black people out of the city.
I have long natural type 4 hair that I usually where down but the level of bad vibes here has been so strong today I decided to try wearing a straight wig. Wow.
People smile or say hello as they walk past me now. Workers in stores ask me if I need help and make pleasant conversation with me while they would normally ignore me.
I was kind of expecting it to be like this but I’m disappointed to be know for sure. Guess I’ll be wearing my assimilation wig more regularly here. In my home state people loved my natural and treated me with respect regardless but I guess it is different up north.
submitted by am_i_the_grasshole
to blackladies [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 21:52 themightydudehtx Family of 5 - WDW Trip May 25 - June 4'th report
We are a family of 5 with my wife and I, along with my 7 yr old and 6yr old daughters and then my 3 yr old boy. They have been to disneyland before, but I'm not sure if they really remember it as it was 3-4 years ago, and my son wasn't even around. We did go to AK 2 years ago as we were in tampa staying on the beach for vacation when hurricane elsa was coming, so we made a quick 2 night escapae to disney world and were able to get a park reservation for AK for 1 day. I'm not really counting that though as their first trip to WDW. In my mind this is their first trip as we got to do everything
We skipped out on the last day of school on May 26'th for my kids and caught a 11 am flight that morning out of Houston and got to Orlando around 1:45 PM or so. I surprised the kids with a limo for the ride to the hotel (they've been begging to ride in one for quite a while so figured why not for this special trip).
For this trip we decided on staying at Caribbean Beach Resort. We got a preferred room w/5th sleeper. I was using touring plans for this trip to help with the plans / hotel requests and what not and had requested a room in barbados closer to the main road that runs by the sky liner. That room request was sent in, but unfortunately we did not get that request. Instead we were put in Martinique which ended up being roughly a 8 minute walk to the Riviera skyliner station or 10-13 minute walk to the CBR skyliner station. Overall it wasn't bad, but I really wish I could of gotten that barbados request as it would of put us within a few minutes walk of the CBR skyliner station and still been relatively close to the main area of the resort. Overall though I was fine with the room. It was what I had booked and the bonus was the beds were the ones that had the space underneath them for the luggage. I had read / watched videos that said some of the CBR beds had the old style bed frames where you could not put your luggage under the bed and with us having 5 bags, that was going to make it tight in the room. So with being able to store the bags under the bed was very nice to have.
My thoughts on this resort is that it is nice and still in the process of being refurbished, but I had 0 complaints here. Skyliner is a big plus here, and I recommend getting close as you can to the CBR skyliner station for the convenience of getting to Epcot and Hollywood studios. If you get on the skyliner at the CBR station you do not have to get off the skyliner when it hits the riviera station. However, if you get on the Riviera skyliner and go to hollywood studios, you will have to get off at the CBR station then back on, so this could delay you getting to HS if you were trying to rope drop. With that being said we did this both ways and never had an issue.
Food at CBR was just fine. Quick service had some decent options for food besides your standard chicken strips / pizza. My personal favorite option they had was a pork carnitas with rice/black beans.
Out of our 10 vacation days we had a total of 6 park days. Originally it was just 5 park days, but it was only like an extra $150 or so to add a extra day so we took that for a total of 6 days. Our schedule looked like this:
Thursday May 25: travel day
Friday May 26: HS/Epcot
Saturday May 27: MK
Sunday May 28: Epcot
Monday May 29: Rest Day
Tuesday May 30: AK
Wed May 31: HS
Thursday June 1: Rest Day
Friday June 2: MK
Saturday June 3: Rest Day
Sunday June 4: travel day
I was going to into more detail on all the days, but realized this was going to be a crazy long post. So instead I will just summarize.
We rope dropped all 6 days and 5 of the days we stayed till closing time.
We bought genie plus for all 6 days. We also did virtual queue and ILL to ride Tron twice. Amazing ride..highly recommend it. We did an ILL for guardians..again an awesome ride and highly recommend it.
We were able to hit every ride we wanted with minimal wait times due to the lightning lanes. I think the longest wait we had was 10-15 minutes. The Genie plus + ILL + Rope dropping made it easy hit the most popular rides in each park in the first couple of hours. I realize it's not feasible for everyone to get genie plus every day, but I had budgeted for it and I wasn't looking forward to waiting in line for an hour on some rides with my 3 kids.
We did Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique for my 3 kids on our second day @ MK. The girls absolutely loved getting dressed up(we brought dresses my wife and bought) and having their hair / makeup done. We did the prince package for my 3 yr old and he was super excited to get his sword and shield. Awesome experience here for them.
My main disappointment was it seemed that most of the star wars stuff was in B mode and that was with a morning ride. For example doing RoR around 9:30 AM, There was no bb8, no rey, and Kylo was B mode. Then doing Smugglers Run, there was no hondo. Thankfully the second day we were at HS, we had BB8 / Rey and Hondo back on smugglers, but Kylo was still B mode, and again that second day was in the morning.
We did the following table service restaurants
Yak and yeti
Boathouse (disney springs)
Boathouse was a great start to our trip. That was dinner for us on arrival day.
Chef Mickeys was ok..nothing great, standard buffet food, but of course we are there for the characters.
Topolinos was probably my favorite plus the view was awesome.
Yak and yeti was good, plus sitting down in the shade and air conditioning was very welcome after walking around AK for a few hours.
Overall thoughts: I thought the parks were going to be busier than they were over memorial day weekend, but it seems we lucked out.
We 100% lucked out with the weather with only a day or 2 barely in the 90's. Most of the days were the 80s' which is definitely tolerable. We also managed to avoid any crazy rain showers while at the park. We got a little rain here and there but nothing that soaked us.
We used the Disney Minnie Vans a few times, and these things were awesome. We used them a couple times to get to the parks in the morning. Was nice to just book one and know we had 10, 15 minutes till it showed up. We actually made it to MK one day before the buses for opening and were there before security even opened up to let us through. Super convenient, but a little pricey. From CBR to the parks I think we averaged around $30-$40 one way with them.
Overall we had a great time. The kids did great as we only brought a stroller for the 3 yr old, the 6 and 7 yr old we had walk and they chugged along just fine with us. Albeit at the end of the night there were many requests to "hold me", but overall they did awesome. We did generally go back to the hotel room for 2-3 hours each day. The only park did we did not do that was at Animal Kingdom
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2023.06.08 21:52 Immortal_Cum_Witch More pictures of Yuki, but dressed this time. My demon bunny. Her name is Nivia Nessa.
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The sculpt is from Oueneifs on Aliexpress. But there were some issues, check out my previous post for more info. submitted by Immortal_Cum_Witch to BJDRecastPositive [link] [comments]
I filled in the unpainted mouth corners myself with a needle and a watercolor pencil. I don’t want to try painting body blushing on her back myself, I’m afraid of messing it up and I don’t have the exact same color, but oh well, at least you can’t see it with her clothes on. The clothes are from a second hand shop but the creator is Mujiasasato, they have a shop on booth. The damaged horn is covered by her hair but it does still piss me off. The wig is from a store on aliexpress called “12 year olds are superes cooles”. The underwear is from Toony store on aliexpress. I bought new eyes from Fenty store on aliexpress to replace the damaged ones. I do wish her makeup was the same color as her body blushing. I’m still waiting for her shoes to be delivered.
2023.06.08 21:49 BtheChemist Caught a tweaker stealing stuff off my bike at Yokes
I just came out of Yokes on Broadway, after being in the store for all of 3 minutes using my own tools to steal stuff off my bike.
Watch yo shit.
If you see a guy on a fatbike, with bleached hair and a cross tattoo on his face dont leave your stuff unattended.
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2023.06.08 21:45 Spectral42 I think I met a Skinwalker. I’m afraid I won’t make it out of this.
Before I dive into everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks I want to get a couple of things out of the way. I moved to this town four months ago because of a job offer: I was supposed to start working with a construction company. Second, I am not going to give you my last name. But I will tell you my first name, it's Tom. I am telling you all this, just in case. Ya know?
Anyway, I moved here four months ago. At first, the job offer seemed too good to be true. I was promised an apartment, full benefits, and grocery delivery twice a month. I was told the town was small, and honestly, it is! I am not used to living in a place like this. I mean, I saw the stars for the first time in my life the day I got to my new apartment.
The apartment itself is nice, I have two bedrooms and a good-sized bathroom. I have no complaints about any of the accommodations. Two weeks into moving here I was told that I would be starting at the end of the month. My boss told me that rent would be covered and gave me a list of things I needed for my first day.
As the end of the month came around I decided to go out and buy a new pair of work boots. I figured this would give me a good chance to get a look around town and maybe meet some people. I was mostly right.
The store was only a couple of blocks from my apartment building so instead of taking my truck I decided to walk. The town is cozy, ya know? Like everyone seems normal. Everything felt like it came out of a classic American novel though. So anyway, I went and got my boots and on the way home I decided to stop at a store and pick up the local newspaper.
When I got home and sat on my couch to crack open the newspaper, I could tell something was off right away. The story on the front page read “New Mayor Elected” and right below that, “Strange Lights in the Sky.” By itself, those two things would not raise red flags, but the pictures looked off. It’s hard for me to put into words but the photo of the new mayor looked both old and new. I scanned the page for a date and couldn’t find one. I figured that maybe something went wrong with the printing or something. After I gave the front page a good read I put the paper down and went to bed.
For two days I stayed home to make sure I was well rested. At this point, I had not purchased a tv yet and decided to jump on the opportunity and read more. On my way to pick up new boots, I noticed the town library and thought why not? I could get a couple of books and a new paper. The library itself is beautiful. The wood looks well maintained and the giant stone lions on either side of the staircase were extremely cool to look at the first time I saw them.
Heading into this library was just like walking into any other library. I don’t know what I was expecting. The outside was cool so I thought the inside would be more done up. As I walked through the aisle and scanned the books I could feel the hairs on my arms stand up. It was a weird feeling, something I had not experienced before this: It was almost like I was scared for no reason. As I pulled a book off of the shelf and read the cover I was extremely puzzled, for reference I was standing in the history section. The book read, “To Mars and Back. How America pioneered space travel.” It sounded more like a science fiction book to me, and there were a lot of other books like this. “They live among us, humanity's first contact with God.” or “The secret history of the Roman empire.” As I went through and examined more books I started to notice little scratches on the bookcase. They looked like tally marks. I followed them down the shelf until I found some writing. “Turn back” and “Go home” were scribbled on the shelf. I quickly stood up and clenched the book I was holding.
As I turned around I took one last look at the book in my hands before heading off to speak with a librarian. As I approached the counter I swear to god the woman behind the counter took my breath away. She was so beautiful, but it didn’t seem natural. I could feel the hairs on the back of my head stand up as I got closer to the desk. I decided to put the book down and leave. There was something inside of me, screaming at me to not speak to the woman. As I headed out of the building and walked down the staircase I noticed my hands were shaking. I was confused because technically, nothing happened.
I never bought a paper that day. Instead, I went home and went to sleep. Technically it was midafternoon, I had no idea why I was tired in the first place.
When I woke up the next day and went to check the mail, I found a rolled-up newspaper at my front door. I shit you not I have been getting a newspaper every day since that day. At first, I was interested in reading them, but the more I read the more I didn’t want to read. At the end of the month, I was waiting for a call from my boss, but the call never came. I tried to call him but his phone was disconnected.
As the next month rolled around I kept getting the newspapers. I stopped receiving normal mail, and I stopped wanting to live in this damn apartment. Two weeks into the new month I decided to call it quits and move back. I was not getting this job and my time here had been nothing but uncomfortable. So I packed my bags and stormed outside to climb into my truck. I was planning on leaving that day however, my tiers had been slashed.
I did what anyone would do, right? I called the damn police. They came promptly and once again I was met with the same feelings as when I saw the librarian. These men did not look real. Every inch of their faces looked…fake. I mean yes they were people but there was not a hair out of place. They were perfectly symmetrical in every way. The whole time I was filling out the police report my hands were shaking. My body was so tense I thought I was going to fall over on the spot. Once the situation was handled I ran back to my apartment. I was skipping steps as I went back upstairs. I felt like I could not get upstairs fast enough.
A couple of hours later I heard pounding at my door. I can’t stress this enough, the pounding scared the shit out of me. “WHO IS IT?!” I screamed. “Please! I need help!” A woman called back to me. I went to my front door, I wish I could tell you I did not hesitate but I did. I eventually opened the door for the women. She was an absolute mess, her makeup was running down her face and she was wearing pajamas. It will sound fucked up but I was so happy to see this woman, her crying gave me comfort. She did not look like the others, she looked real and natural. I asked her what happened and she told me her daughter had gone missing. I asked her if she called the police and she told me no. She said she wouldn’t, she told me her daughter wouldn't go to them either. I asked her what her daughter's name is, she told me her name is Zoey. We talked for what felt like hours before I told her I would keep my eyes open. She thanked me and went back to her apartment in tears.
As I closed and locked my door I went to the pile of newspapers and opened the most recent one. I wanted to see if there was any mention of Zoey in the paper. The front page read, “Local man found dead outside of his home. No suspects.” below that there was another heading, “Local girl missing.” I checked for a name but it wasn’t Zoey. They are the same age though. As I scanned the paper I heard a scream come from down the hallway. I stood up quickly and rushed to my door, this time without hesitation I ripped it open and looked down the hallway. And that’s where I saw…it. One of the cops except it wasn’t a man. He had tight skin, he almost looked like a walking skeleton. His eyes were bulging out of his head, and his arms were larger. “Sir…” The thing said to me. I quickly turned and slammed the door shut. I locked all four locks and put the kitchen table up against the door. I haven’t left this apartment since. I did call my ex, she said she would come and get me but I don’t know how long I will be waiting.
If this is fear, I have had enough. I can’t sleep and I am too scared to eat. It feels like my heart might explode like my whole perception of reality has changed.
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