Kevin gates in god i trust
Cat = Dog
2014.07.05 03:49 HaudNomen Cat = Dog
A Kevin is someone who consistently or greatly shows a complete lack of intelligence through incompetence of social and societal norms, or is purposefully antagonistic in their poor decision making.
2012.08.19 10:22 Jontology r/shitposting
take it easy~
2020.11.26 02:00 AlsDaSkier LePlum
Oh god, LePlum has graced us with his presence upon this earth. Kill Kevin. Thank you LePlum for appearing once again in mortal form. Now there's just one thing i gotta tell you... bheudwebfuow. Also, kill Kevin. Clean your rooms.
2023.05.30 06:54 Accomplished_Role201 Need relationship advice.
I (19M) am currently in a relationship with B(19F). We have been dating for 8 months now. Even though we are in long distance relationship I felt that we have been strong but these past few days I’ve been noticing some change. They are: 1) she always ignores or replies me late. 2) on video call, she looks at others and interacts with them more than me. 3) she gets angry very quickly. 4) whenever I ask something she says I am doubting. 5) she frequently threatens to end the relationship.
Some background, yes I have trust issue but she was the one who cheated on me, no not physically but emotionally she cheated on me with two guys. She also constantly cook up stories so I have to take notice abt almost everything she does or says. So yeah u can guess how much trust I have for her. This morning she sent me a long message, at first I felt happy and read through it but then I noticed that it was not from her. The message felt odd and nth seemed like her, I asked her if she copied it and she denied and then asked for breakup. I looked up and yes it was from chat gpt. I tried to talk to her in video call but she decided to ignore me and talk to her guy frns instead. What should I do? I have already mended this relationship for more than 4 times while she constantly breaks it. How can I move on? Need advice…
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2023.05.30 06:54 Llll001 .
I am grateful to have a support system. Role models who have been present in my life. Perhaps just a bit or monumentally absent emotionally.
Of course, me, just questioning everything. Despite what seems to be missing or why I keep chasing or accepting unavailable infatuations stems from something much deeper I’ve been trying to ignore. It was neglect or the lack of exposure of healthy models, I’d say. Some behaviours and mindsets which speaks of the misogynistic type or objectification of the woman are some I simply sincerely do not agree with and do not wish to I integrate in my life, ever. Sure, I’d love to debate and put my own view on this, but at the end of the day I am no one to fight for someone who doesn’t wish to change their core values and tinted glasses.
I’m mature and autonomous enough to demand who comes into my life and receives even the slightest bit of my energy/aura. I cannot intoxicate my thoughts with the impossibility of me attaining my highest good and most righteous. I seek justice in everything I do. Now. Once, it wasn’t the case because I knew no better. I want to heal and I can’t put myself in a place where I’m bought back to my roots.
Were you just someone unattainable and unavailable just like what I was used to? Is this a test from God where I must learn my lesson?
Fairly, I don’t feel obsessed and delusional. I feel sad because you feel so far away from me. I’m trying to better myself to be able to meet you where I think you deserve. I want to give you my best self, hence why I turn the energy back to my self and dedicate my energy into thinking for me… but when night comes and I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve seen you I can’t help but to feel like a piece of my day feels more… ordinary.
That’s the word, I guess. You make my days go by faster, I want to latch onto every stupid joke you make and every glance I get to catch, well as expected it is for you to be at a decent position at that time and place… I just want to feel like I’m capable to read in between the lines and there is more to it.
I want you to make me feel safe. I want the romance, the slow music and the slow motion time stopping all kinds of feelings… it’s so funny now that I say this because I literally thought I only wanted one thing. I settled for that thought because I didn’t know you enough (still don’t; but gathered enough data…) to be sure you could be the one to protect my heart and not use it for your own material gain… but you’re careful. And the words you use are too. You wait and think before you speak, because when you do reveal info, they mean everything they mean. And this is why I want to believe in between the lines and not just the surface facade ‘we’ put on for the world and the system. Tell me I’m reading too much into this, I don’t care, it’s my subjective opinion.. I feel like I could trust you. Although sometimes we do get heated moments where we both trigger or offend the other, but there had never been malicious intent, only few reality checks. Heck, you’re my biggest motivation. When you trigger me, I just want to prove you wrong hence I do ten times better and harder so I can aim at what I wish to achieve. And I love it when you praise me. (Again, might this just be a childhood core of mine which needs healing?) whatever psychological effect you have on me, I want to assure you it’s not… obsessive.
It’s calm and quiet and I love to walk around you, feeling grounded and confident. Sometimes I turn the other eye because I wish to be more modest and regard you in the position you are in, by all respect… but sometimes I want you to know you’re all I think of and want to run safely to you with open arms. It would be silly to say that I won’t let go but it’s evident, I even got used to your touch, as sensory stimulating it can awkwardly & intensely get. I’m glad I secretly flatter you quite much and not too overwhelming to the point where you’d have to push my away because you’re uncomfortable… I’d always want to make you feel safe opening up to me.
I come in with heavy baggage. I have so many, scars. And I’m so happy I was able to handle my emotions well enough to not force you in with me, without consensual confirmation. More over, I mostly had to held myself back from over spilling and info dumping you. Of telling you how much I can relate to you and how that was also my favourite color… I sensed it in you too, before you would agree how certain things I shared was what you aligned with too… it’s pretty satisfying in my brain. It just seem to puzzle up well together, bits of mine and yours… as simple and genuine as it went…
Now I miss you and I’m not jealous. Are you jealous you’re not with me? I feel impatient. I want to see you but I can’t. I must wait. And be patient and trust when we will align. By then, I want to be my best self for you, and for me. All the hard work and healing I’ve done prior meeting you all paid off.
Might this be the reason why this has been such a sweet & soft relationship? ~ Yes, I was initially cold. But see, was I worth getting warmth to? Was I worth discovering without the fast tales of inconveniences? I enjoyed every bit of figuring you out and piecing you all together like a block of lego.
I think of you when I don’t physically feel safe. I know I am safe when I am with you. And you won’t ever be a creep. You have integrity, discipline and respect.
I love seeing what I look for in someone appear and present itself. It feels like all the time I was praying for, was not for nothing.
One day, there won’t be any more of this endless cycle… I won’t need to put up with certain toxicity and the like… I will be surrounded by strong moral individuals who are able to communicate and discern their needs rather than to choose a temporary fix and pure personal gain. I can go on forever about individualistic & collective culture but to say that selfishness has no room for humanity unless you’re being selfish for the benefit of adding more value to humankind with your actions.
I pick you. You’re the one whom I cherish most. It saddens me a lot that you’re away, I’m away, but it’s okay right? Because sooner than I’ll know, you’ll be right beside me and I’ll get to hear your voice that you don’t normally use with others. Just me. And for that, I somewhat feel special. Maybe it means something for you. Maybe because I have the right to hear that side of you, even if I’m not allowed to by conventions, but having feelings is pretty valid. Let me honour my feelings, alright? I love you, indirectly. You may never know… but I do somewhat. Somehow, I feel safe to express it to you, nonverbally. You probably, definitely got the memo. Yeah, you may suck at remembering topics, or can’t pick up on emotions so well, but I made sure you would understand my language… it was beautifully crafted just for you. After all, that’s what masking is for. I’ve gotten used to it now, adjusting to new people and not knowing and knowing when it is ok to be myself.
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2023.05.30 06:54 SignificanceOk1725 [Routine Help] Uneven skin tone
| I have dry to normal skin. I was on accutane years ago and it god rid of all my acne but I feel like now I have uneven skin tone/scars? What kind of products are good for that and any recommended changes to my current routine as I honestly just chose some random products that were popular. $ isn't an issue in terms of products I don't mind paying for something that works AM (in order) Cerave Hydrating Cleanser TO Hemi-Squalane Oil Cerave Eye Repair Cream Cerave Moisturizing Lotion PM La Roche-Posay Sunscreen SPF 50 PM (in order) Cerave Hydrating Cleanser TO Hemi-Squalane Oil Cerave Eye Repair Cream Cerave Moisturizing Lotion PM submitted by SignificanceOk1725 to SkincareAddiction [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 06:54 ThrowRAnewmama22 Left 4 days ago and feel so sick to my stomach with regret
I (35f) left my husband (31m) after being together 8 years, married for 6. We have a 9 month old baby girl. You can see my previous posts for specifics about what I was dealing with, but to summarize, he's emotionally and verbally abusive, rips things out of my hands, threatens to escalate or break things, slammed the front door, so I couldnt leave when holding our baby in my arms, and gets in my face taunting me with our baby in his arms.
Now that we have a baby together I can't put up with this anymore. I want her and I to feel safe (he thinks I'm exaggerating and being over dramatic) I had 2 options, try to get an OOP and have him removed from our apartment or just leave and stay with my family. I couldn't stomach kicking him out, so while he was at work my mom and I packed up a bunch of me and babies things and I moved in with her. I took more than I needed because I was afraid that he would destroy my things when he found out I left. Of course he was LIVID! Called me 18 times, yelling at me on the phone, calling me names, saying he hopes I get in a car accident.
Even during all of this I'm feeling like I made a huge mess and maybe I really am being too dramatic. I feel so sick to my stomach. I have no appetite and I don't feel this freedom everyone talks about. I look at my baby girl and it breaks my heart that she may be growing up with divorced parents and I can't take the guilt. Whenever she cries I'm afraid it's because she's missing her dad. She doesn't understand why her routine has changed and where he's at.
He has called the police, but fortunately they won't take her from me which fuels his fire. I have made it clear that he is welcome to come here to my families and spend time with her, but I don't trust him to take her without me. I feel like he wouldn't bring her back and then there would be nothing I could do until going through the courts. I'm not trying to keep him from her, but I'm afraid the courts will call this parental alienation. He refuses to see her because he doesn't want to come to my families house to do it.
I haven't filed anything. I guess I was kind of hoping that maybe this would be a wake up call for him to change, but it's really done the complete opposite. He hates me and is prepared to take "serious legal action". I don't want to get divorced, I don't want to split custody and have my daughter grow up in 2 homes. It's eating me alive. Do I wait it out and see if he files? Or should I make the move first? I haven't been able to reach a lawyer yet due to the holiday weekend and I work the next few days.
Sorry this is so long. I just expected to feel free and safe and like I did the right thing, but I feel like I want to go back. I feel like I can't do this and I don't want to do this. Am I in the wrong for only allowing him to see her at my families house so he can't leave with her? I'm a mess.
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2023.05.30 06:53 kittyxoxo21 Love Hurts.
I wish I was your priority.
I don't think I ever will be though, no matter how I desperately cling to you. It's always something else, or someone else...even though we're supposedly committed to each other.
I don't understand why you fought so hard for me when you're still so heavily entwined with others. Yes, I was left broken, battered, and bruised by someone else...but it wasn't your job to fix it. It's mine, and mine alone. I was perfectly fine being on my own, I just wanted some friends. Then you kissed me and I fell so deep into desire because it felt like someone actually wanted me, someone loved me. For once in my god forsaken life, I felt like the stars aligned and I finally won...life finally gave me a break, and I had something to live for, work for and someone to love and build with.
I feel like you pulled the wool over my eyes a bit. The moment you got comfortable, you stopped wanting to hang out. You stopped coming over. Everything was for you, and you only. Everything is to your convenience. When I lost my best friend, I wasn't worth even ten minutes out of your day for a hug. I suffered that unbearable loss alone. Even with smaller things, you never show up...
You're never there for me when I need it.
But your exes call, or work friends, or your family...basically anyone that isn't me, and you're at their beck and call. You'll drop anything for them. Anything.
Including me.
It just hurts so damn much because when I look at you, I think of the future we once talked about and promised, and I wonder if any of that was real. If you meant any of it, because...it's been over a year, and it's really starting to feel like I'm not even important. Are we even going anywhere? Do you still even want it?
I want someone that appreciates me, wants to do things and hang out with me. If one of us has a project, we can work on it together. We can tackle it as a team together.
I'm so tired of doing life alone, but I'm learning fast that...that's all I ever do.
People say pretty words, but they pair it with ugly actions.
That's all I've ever known.
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2023.05.30 06:53 Katie_Olive_Bean 2 1/2 year old sweet, but crazy lab
Hello! I’ll start of by saying I know that labs can take a bit of time to calm down, but I was looking for tips on a behavior I cant seem to make any progress on. Olive (the pup) goes nuts when people come over. Not just for the first few minutes, I’m talking most of the visit. Sometimes she will never fully relax until they leave. She gets so worked up she starts making a seal like noise and sometimes will nibble on loose clothes and jump. The jumping has improved a lot, but we’re still not there. Specifically if you’re under 4ft tall. Some people seem to trigger her more than others - no real relationship to frequency of visits. She’s better outside than she is inside - which is where we usually entertain anyways - but don’t want to have that as a limiting factor.
Ideas?
Here is what I have tried:
Leash indoors until calm
Baby gates to restrict access to guests until calm (she will settle on her side of gate, but exhibits bad behavior when I let her out…. Then it’s right back behind the gate)
Zoloft from the vet - thought it could be anxiety
Meet and greet in front yard instead of house (bay results - 50/50 on whether it has any effects once inside)
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2023.05.30 06:53 sumitgusain22 Dances with Wolves
| Dances with Wolves Dances with Wolves" is an epic Western film directed by Kevin Costner, released in 1990. Set during the American Civil War, the movie tells the story of Lieutenant John J. Dunbar, a Union Army officer who is sent to an isolated western frontier outpost on the Great Plains., I'll provide you with a detailed summary of the film, ensuring no plagiarism. The film begins with Lieutenant John J. Dunbar (played by Kevin Costner) being assigned to an abandoned fort located deep in the Dakota Territory. The fort, named Fort Sedgewick, is situated on the western frontier, miles away from any major settlements. Dunbar arrives at the fort, expecting to find a bustling outpost, but instead discovers it deserted and in disarray. Left alone to tend to the fort, Dunbar slowly becomes fascinated by the vastness and beauty of the untamed wilderness surrounding him. He spends his days exploring the landscape, hunting, and making observations in his journal. As he becomes more comfortable in his solitary existence, he develops a profound appreciation for the natural world and begins to understand the Native American tribes that inhabit the area. One day, Dunbar encounters a wolf and starts to develop a bond with it. He names the wolf "Two Socks" and considers it his only companion in this isolated environment. This connection with nature brings him peace and a sense of belonging that he has not experienced before. Dunbar's life takes an unexpected turn when he encounters a group of Sioux Indians while out on a hunting expedition. Initially, both parties are cautious and wary of each other, but Dunbar's genuine curiosity and respect for their culture eventually wins them over. Kicking Bird, the Sioux medicine man, and Wind In His Hair, a brave warrior, become particularly interested in Dunbar and his willingness to learn about their way of life. The Sioux gradually accept Dunbar into their tribe, and he begins to live among them, adopting their customs and learning their language. He becomes known as "Dances with Wolves" due to his willingness to immerse himself in their culture. As Dunbar integrates with the tribe, he also forms a deep connection with Stands with a Fist, a white woman who was previously captured by the Sioux as a child and raised as one of their own. Throughout the film, Dunbar witnesses the hardships and struggles faced by the Sioux tribe. He witnesses their struggles with the Pawnee, another Native American tribe, as well as the encroachment of white settlers who are rapidly expanding westward. Dunbar becomes increasingly sympathetic to the Sioux's plight and begins to question his own allegiances as a soldier in the Union Army. As tensions rise between the Sioux and the U.S. Army, Dunbar's loyalty becomes divided. He is torn between his duty to his fellow soldiers and his newfound love and respect for the Sioux people. Ultimately, when the U.S. Army arrives with the intention of removing the Sioux from their land, Dunbar decides to take a stand and helps the Sioux escape, leading them to a safe haven far from the reach of the Army. In the film's poignant conclusion, Dunbar is forced to bid farewell to his Sioux family and returns to Fort Sedgewick. However, he finds the fort has been taken over by the U.S. Army, and he is now seen as a traitor. Dunbar chooses to defy the Army's orders and rides off into the wilderness with Two Socks, leaving his former life behind. "Dances with Wolves" is a powerful and thought-provoking film that explores themes of cultural identity, environmentalism, and the destructive nature of colonization. It portrays the Native American tribes with dignity and challenges the viewer to question the assumptions and prejudices ingrained in Western society. Through the eyes of Lieutenant John J. Dunbar, the film offers a glimpse into a world of harmony and respect between cultures that were, ultimately, torn apart by greed and misunderstanding. "Dances with Wolves," directed by Kevin Costner, is a critically acclaimed film that garnered both commercial success and critical acclaim upon its release in 1990. The movie tells the story of Lieutenant John J. Dunbar, a Union Army officer who forms a deep connection with a Sioux tribe during the American Civil War. As with any piece of art, "Dances with Wolves" has its strengths and weaknesses, which we will explore in this article. This analysis aims to provide a balanced view of the movie's positive and negative aspects, while refraining from plagiarism. Positive Aspects: Cultural Sensitivity: One of the standout merits of "Dances with Wolves" is its portrayal of Native American culture. The film treats the Sioux tribe with respect and dignity, avoiding stereotypical depictions. It emphasizes their rich traditions, spirituality, and interconnectedness with nature. By showcasing their customs, language, and community dynamics, the movie serves as an educational and enlightening platform, challenging preconceived notions and fostering cultural appreciation. Cinematic Beauty: Visually, "Dances with Wolves" is a feast for the eyes. The cinematography, captured by Dean Semler, vividly captures the awe-inspiring landscapes of the American frontier. From sweeping prairies to majestic mountains, the film's breathtaking scenery immerses viewers in the untamed beauty of the wilderness. The visuals enhance the storytelling, creating a sense of wonder and enhancing the emotional impact of the narrative. Emotional Depth: The movie excels in its exploration of complex emotions and character development. Lieutenant Dunbar's journey from a disillusioned soldier to someone who finds purpose and belonging in the Sioux tribe is emotionally compelling. The film delves into themes of identity, cultural assimilation, and the devastating consequences of colonization. Through nuanced performances, particularly by Kevin Costner and Mary McDonnell, the audience is emotionally invested in the characters and their struggles. Negative Aspects: Lengthy Runtime: At nearly three hours, "Dances with Wolves" may be perceived as overly long by some viewers. The deliberate pacing, while integral to character development, might test the patience of those seeking a more fast-paced narrative. The film's unhurried approach may lead to occasional lulls that could potentially impact engagement. Simplistic Portrayal of White Characters: While the film admirably portrays the Sioux tribe with depth and authenticity, some critics argue that the white characters, especially the soldiers, are depicted in a more one-dimensional manner. Their actions and motivations are often portrayed as solely driven by greed or ignorance, which can be seen as a missed opportunity to explore their complexities and provide a more nuanced portrayal of historical context. Limited Native American Perspectives: While the film centers on Lieutenant Dunbar's experiences and his interaction with the Sioux, some argue that it lacks multiple Native American perspectives. The focus on the white protagonist could inadvertently perpetuate the narrative of a white savior, where the hero's journey dominates over the voices and agency of the Native American characters. Conclusion: "Dances with Wolves" stands as a monumental film that left a lasting impact on both audiences and the film industry. Kevin Costner's directorial debut succeeded in creating a visually stunning and emotionally resonant narrative that explored themes of cultural understanding, identity, and the devastating consequences of colonization. While the film garnered critical acclaim and numerous accolades, it is essential to analyze its overall impact, strengths, and weaknesses without plagiarism. The film's portrayal of Native American culture and the Sioux tribe, in particular, deserves recognition for its cultural sensitivity and authenticity. By showcasing their customs, language, and spirituality, "Dances with Wolves" fostered understanding and challenged preconceived notions prevalent in Western society. The movie served as a catalyst for appreciating the rich traditions of Native American communities, shedding light on their historical struggles and resilience. Visually, "Dances with Wolves" captivated audiences with its breathtaking cinematography. Dean Semler's work behind the camera vividly captured the untamed beauty of the American frontier, enveloping viewers in the vast landscapes and evoking a sense of awe. The imagery added depth to the storytelling, creating an immersive experience that enhanced the emotional impact of the narrative. Emotionally, "Dances with Wolves" delved into the complexities of human connection and identity. The transformation of Lieutenant John J. Dunbar, played by Kevin Costner, from a disillusioned soldier to an individual who finds purpose and belonging within the Sioux tribe was a powerful and compelling journey. The performances, particularly by Costner and Mary McDonnell, added layers of depth and vulnerability to the characters, eliciting empathy from the audience. However, the film is not without its flaws. Its lengthy runtime, approaching three hours, could be seen as a drawback for viewers seeking a more fast-paced narrative. The deliberate pacing, while essential for character development, might test the patience of some viewers, potentially leading to moments of disengagement. Critics have also pointed out that the film's depiction of white characters, particularly the soldiers, is sometimes one-dimensional. Their actions and motivations are primarily portrayed as driven by greed or ignorance, which misses an opportunity to explore their complexities and provide a more nuanced portrayal of the historical context. Additionally, while the film admirably portrayed the Sioux tribe, some argue that it lacked multiple Native American perspectives. By primarily focusing on the experiences of Lieutenant Dunbar, "Dances with Wolves" unintentionally perpetuated the narrative of a white savior. It could have further explored and elevated the voices and agency of the Native American characters, providing a more comprehensive understanding of their culture and experiences. In conclusion, "Dances with Wolves" remains a significant and impactful film that ignited important discussions about cultural understanding, historical accuracy, and representation in cinema. Its cultural sensitivity, visual splendor, and emotional depth captivated audiences and left an indelible mark on popular culture. While acknowledging the film's strengths, such as its portrayal of Native American culture, it is essential to critically analyze its weaknesses, including its runtime and limited perspectives, to foster ongoing dialogue and progress in cinematic storytelling submitted by sumitgusain22 to u/sumitgusain22 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 06:52 Esmer05 I honestly just give up on love
Honestly this will mostly be a rant about my current life and how I got here, basic Latin show so thanks to anyone who tries to read the whole thing. For background info I am a hard lover and a hard person to love, I have gotten a lot of mental and emotional baggage because therapy is too expensive and I find it hard to fall in love but once I do I am fully committed to that person, because I take relationships serious and I alwasy think about whether or not I will want to be with this person for the rest of my life. My past boyfriends taught me a lot of things because of their toxicity and the heavy amount of cheating that came but the two things that stuck were honesty and jealousy. This is where my crush (now ex) comes. We'll call them K. I fell in love with K back in November of 2021 and decided to just confess knowing they'll say no because they were dating someone at that time. I thought I'd get over it but come March of 2022 and my feelings have not change and luckily for me, K actually fell in love with me. The next few months were the happiest I've been, however there were a lot of bumps. I'm too honest to partners, and I easily open up, not as a way to seek comfort, but because it just feels so easy and i easily can become a crybaby, but I immediately feel so guilty because I vented too much so I alwasy apologized but K alwasy said it was alright. Unfortunately I feel like in those months I've managed to hurt them a lot. Even if they kept saying I wasn't, I know that I was emotionally and mentally exhausting for them and I'd alwasy try my best to be better. A big twist came though when K told me they thought they were unwilling to love (basically aromatic for those who know the term) in October of 2022. They still wanted a relationship with me, just a platonic (but commited) one, and though I was a little upset I thought all would be well and for weeks it was.. then P happened. K had admitted near the end of November that they were in love with P, which broke me.. P had come into their life out of nowhere and so did these feelings, but I was too scared and confuse to say anything about it, plus I wasn't jealous of her. Though I wasn't confident K would stay, I still hanged on to the small hope. New years of 2023 comes and K admits that they see themselves as single, and that our relationship wasn't serious or a committed one. I could barely keep myself from breaking down and not even a week later K notice that mood change and after a small argument they decided that I needed to just move on and they broke up with me. Not even a month later I myself made sure that K got to date P because in the shock of it all and my rising realization all I could think about was making up for what I have done and making K happy. Present time, they are still together, K says their happy but in the almost four months that K and P have been together they've fought a lot which left my now ex, a person I still love so much, coming to me crying hysterically one too many times, while I just put on a mask and pretend like I'm fine with everything and fully knowing that I'm somewhat responsible for K's sandness.. because P, knowing me and K used to date, absolutely hates me, and takes her jealousy out on K. And still I pretend I'm completely okay and happy.. but I'm so done pretending.. I love K too much, so I honestly give up on this stupid thing called love.. Just to note that I don't hate K or P for any of this nor am I jealous.. trust me when I say I deserve some if not all of these pains. Problem is that I'm so tired of not knowing why K stopped loving me.. it may be the reason why I can't move on, because as much as I tell myself they don't love me because of how bad I was to them.. they seem so happy around me still.. and I want to ask them but they've moved on, and they've probably forgotten I was ever even someone they loved.. so I guess I just give up Sorry for the long post, but thank you to anyone that decided to read this whole thing, I'll give updates if ever available, but not a certainty
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2023.05.30 06:52 ThrowRAnewmama22 I left 4 days ago and I'm feeling sick to my stomach with regret
I (35f) left my husband (31m) after being together 8 years, married for 6. We have a 9 month old baby girl. You can see my previous posts for specifics about what I was dealing with, but to summarize, he's emotionally and verbally abusive, rips things out of my hands, threatens to escalate or break things, slammed the front door, so I couldnt leave when holding our baby in my arms, and gets in my face taunting me with our baby in his arms.
Now that we have a baby together I can't put up with this anymore. I want her and I to feel safe (he thinks I'm exaggerating and being over dramatic) I had 2 options, try to get an OOP and have him removed from our apartment or just leave and stay with my family. I couldn't stomach kicking him out, so while he was at work my mom and I packed up a bunch of me and babies things and I moved in with her. I took more than I needed because I was afraid that he would destroy my things when he found out I left. Of course he was LIVID! Called me 18 times, yelling at me on the phone, calling me names, saying he hopes I get in a car accident.
Even during all of this I'm feeling like I made a huge mess and maybe I really am being too dramatic. I feel so sick to my stomach. I have no appetite and I don't feel this freedom everyone talks about. I look at my baby girl and it breaks my heart that she may be growing up with divorced parents and I can't take the guilt. Whenever she cries I'm afraid it's because she's missing her dad. She doesn't understand why her routine has changed and where he's at.
He has called the police, but fortunately they won't take her from me which fuels his fire. I have made it clear that he is welcome to come here to my families and spend time with her, but I don't trust him to take her without me. I feel like he wouldn't bring her back and then there would be nothing I could do until going through the courts. I'm not trying to keep him from her, but I'm afraid the courts will call this parental alienation. He refuses to see her because he doesn't want to come to my families house to do it.
I haven't filed anything. I guess I was kind of hoping that maybe this would be a wake up call for him to change, but it's really done the complete opposite. He hates me and is prepared to take "serious legal action". I don't want to get divorced, I don't want to split custody and have my daughter grow up in 2 homes. It's eating me alive. Do I wait it out and see if he files? Or should I make the move first? I haven't been able to reach a lawyer yet due to the holiday weekend and I work the next few days.
Sorry this is so long. I just expected to feel free and safe and like I did the right thing, but I feel like I want to go back. I feel like I can't do this and I don't want to do this. Am I in the wrong for only allowing him to see her at my families house so he can't leave with her? I'm a mess.
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2023.05.30 06:52 MarkReddit_ '13 Audi S5 Modification Advice/Recommendations
Hi there, received a large amount of quality responses on my much more vague questions/concerns regarding modifactions on the S5, I'm back after further research for more questions that I trust you all have more experienced responses for than I do.
I'm currently looking into the 034 Motorsport Carbon Fiber CAI as it seems to be the most popular on the market, is this a great choice? Do you guys have other recommendations? Just curious to see opinions.
Secondly, I'm an active user on the app Affirm already and in the FAQ's for 034's Website they mention they provide support for the application, however, I cannot seem to find them on the list? Am I missing something here, is this an outdated FAQ or am I being an idiot? Any info. helps, thanks in advance, take care.
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2023.05.30 06:52 Gonna-Throw-It We not only survived a visit, we thrived!
I just want to thank you all so much! This subreddit was the start of me learning about boundaries and how I had some heavy people pleasing to unlearn.
But we did it. We ARE doing it. We're setting boundaries, saying no, & standing up for ouselves; I feel so powerful right now.
The inlaws visited for 4 days. There was, as always, plenty of BEC moments. But one of the bigger points of contention happened on the last day.
We were all sitting in my backyard, just chatting when out of nowhere:
FIL: smiling, "so, have you guys checked out any churches?" (If they knew me or their son at all, they'd know we're not religious)
Me: chuckling while shaking my head, "no, that's not for us"
FIL: smile now completely gone, "well, I think you should have a relationship with god"
Me: well, you can think that. But we're not interested.
MIL: now trying to backpedal , "well, we we we just love you and we pray for you, not for grandkids of course hahahaa, but we love you guys and we pray for you"
Me: "ok, that's nice."
The subject got changed. I can't remember to what as I was dancing in my head for the rest of the day! It's amazing to see THEM stumble for words for a change!
I know me and DH still have lots of practice with standing our ground, but we are beyond happy with our growth. Thank you to anyone who has given us advice or who has commiserated with us.
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2023.05.30 06:52 gianlucafiliciotto1u What Reddit Users Are Saying About Prostadine: A Review Roundup
Introduction
When it comes to taking care of our health, it's important to gather as much information as possible before trying a new supplement. Prostadine, a popular prostate health supplement, has been gaining attention in online communities like Reddit. In this article, we will delve into what Reddit users are saying about Prostadine, providing you with a review roundup that covers both positive and negative experiences. So, let's dive in and explore the candid opinions and feedback shared by Redditors.
Overview of Prostadine
Before we discuss the Reddit users' experiences, let's first understand what Prostadine is all about. Prostadine is a natural dietary supplement specifically designed to support prostate health. It aims to address common issues such as urinary discomfort, weak urine flow, and frequent nighttime bathroom visits. With a blend of carefully selected ingredients, Prostadine claims to provide comprehensive prostate support for men of all ages.
How Does Prostadine Work?
To comprehend the user reviews, it's essential to grasp how Prostadine works. Prostadine's formulation combines potent ingredients known for their potential to support prostate health. These ingredients work synergistically to target the underlying causes of prostate issues. By reducing inflammation, promoting healthy hormone balance, and supporting normal prostate size, Prostadine aims to enhance overall prostate function.
Prostadine's Ingredients
The effectiveness of any supplement heavily relies on its ingredients. Prostadine includes a range of natural ingredients that are believed to contribute to prostate health. Some of the key ingredients found in Prostadine are:
- Saw Palmetto: Known for its potential to reduce urinary symptoms related to an enlarged prostate.
- Beta-Sitosterol: A plant sterol that may help improve urine flow and relieve urinary discomfort.
- Zinc: An essential mineral involved in maintaining prostate health and supporting the immune system.
- Nettle Root Extract: Traditionally used to support prostate function and urinary health.
Benefits of Prostadine
Based on user experiences shared on Reddit, Prostadine seems to offer several benefits. Here are some of the reported advantages of using Prostadine:
- Improved Urinary Function: Many users claim that Prostadine helped them experience better urine flow and reduced nighttime bathroom visits.
- Reduced Prostate Discomfort: Some Redditors reported a decrease in prostate-related discomfort after taking Prostadine regularly.
- Enhanced Quality of Life: Users have mentioned that Prostadine improved their overall quality of life by alleviating prostate-related symptoms that affected their daily activities.
User Experiences and Reviews
Positive Reviews Several Reddit users have shared positive experiences with Prostadine. One user mentioned that after incorporating Prostadine into their daily routine, they noticed a significant improvement in their urinary flow, which had been a concern for years. Another user expressed their satisfaction with Prostadine, highlighting that it helped them achieve better prostate health and improved their overall well-being.
Negative Reviews Alongside positive reviews, some Redditors have also shared negative experiences with Prostadine. One user reported that they did not observe any noticeable improvements after using Prostadine for an extended period. It's important to note that individual results may vary, and it's always recommended to consult a healthcare professional before starting any new supplement.
Reddit Discussions about Prostadine
Reddit serves as a platform for open discussions, and Prostadine has been a topic of conversation among its users. Let's explore some of the common threads in these discussions.
Redditors' Positive Experiences Within Reddit discussions, several Redditors have shared their positive experiences with Prostadine. Users have mentioned how it helped them manage their prostate health effectively, allowing them to lead a more fulfilling life. These discussions often provide insights into personal journeys and the specific benefits users have noticed after incorporating Prostadine into their routines.
Redditors' Negative Experiences On the other hand, some Redditors have expressed their dissatisfaction with Prostadine, sharing their negative experiences. It's crucial to consider these perspectives as well to gain a comprehensive understanding of the supplement. However, it's worth noting that individual experiences may vary, and what doesn't work for one person may work well for another.
Comparison with Other Prostate Health Supplements
Reddit discussions often include comparisons between different prostate health supplements, including Prostadine. These comparisons provide valuable insights into how Prostadine stacks up against alternative options. Users discuss factors such as effectiveness, ingredients, cost, and overall satisfaction, helping others make informed decisions about which supplement might be the best fit for them.
Expert Opinions on Prostadine
Apart from user experiences, it's essential to consider expert opinions when evaluating a supplement. While we cannot provide direct expert quotes in this article, it is recommended to consult healthcare professionals or experts in the field for their insights on Prostadine. They can offer personalized guidance based on your specific health needs and conditions.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
- Is Prostadine suitable for everyone? Prostadine is generally designed for men seeking prostate health support. However, it's advisable to consult with a healthcare professional to ensure it is suitable for your individual circumstances.
- How long does it take to experience the benefits of Prostadine? The time it takes to experience the benefits of Prostadine may vary from person to person. Some users reported noticeable improvements within a few weeks, while others required a more extended period. Consistency and regular use are key.
- Are there any side effects associated with Prostadine? Prostadine is generally well-tolerated. However, it's always recommended to read the product label and consult a healthcare professional to check for any potential allergies or interactions with existing medications.
- Can Prostadine cure prostate-related conditions? Prostadine is a dietary supplement and is not intended to cure or treat any specific medical condition. It aims to support prostate health and may help alleviate associated symptoms. It's important to seek medical advice for proper diagnosis and treatment.
- Where can I purchase Prostadine? Prostadine can be purchased from various online retailers or directly from the official website. It's recommended to ensure the authenticity of the product and purchase from trusted sources.
Conclusion
In conclusion, Reddit users have shared a range of experiences and opinions regarding Prostadine, a popular prostate health supplement. While some Redditors have reported positive effects, such as improved urinary function and reduced discomfort, others have not experienced significant benefits. As with any dietary supplement, individual results may vary, and it's important to consult a healthcare professional before starting any new regimen. Reddit discussions can provide valuable insights into personal experiences and comparisons with other prostate health supplements, but it's crucial to consider them alongside expert opinions. By gathering information from various sources, you can make a more informed decision about whether Prostadine is the right choice for your prostate health needs.
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2023.05.30 06:51 onlytheevilfearhim A Trip To The Dump
The old man bellowed Food tasted better Before they dropped the bomb The old man was right and now Now I am the old man
●●
Omaha to Cheyenne to Salt Lake City To Reno to Sacramento to the edge Not the way it's done anymore I looked it up Who was the last? I'm one of them
●●
Fonda city diner with a leaking roof so much rain last time but dry and still Dry in practice to dry in theory Cold cold desert, but that's tomorrow
Don't remember day 1 and can't remember day 2. reading of Kit and Port - again knew what was coming put down the book for life looked for day old USA Todays
●●
cold desert and Sac a shit town later a comedian from there would really hate me sorry Robert. judgement from the future
roll in: when?
a mess by now bleeding from the brain Heavens open, Jesus descends tells me I'm alright, I'm the indie rock God hands me a Yamaha FG-75
does He whisper words in Her ear? Does He prepare the Way for me? Perhaps unbuttons the top button of her button down serving shirt?
●●
I'm smoking, every city and town rolled my own back then 6 dollar tins people would ask me for a cigarette I would hand them papers and the tin "Roll your own" Many would pass Weak people
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she doesn't know the color of my shoes she will be pleasantly surprised had we talked yet? I can't recall but she was a topic of discussion via letter and phone calls
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driving down Nimitz with Them 31st of May Brain bleed and starving we stop first at Carl Jr's no, we don't stop we drive all I've done is not drive and drive and we drive through it's America
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she had to work she was getting ready for work maybe her boyfriend had been over he had a limited shelf life
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16th and poverty then rich mansions and back to poverty
my eyes were open I could smell the cheeseburger I was also eager to drink until I puked up blood
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since Reno the religious visions only got worse as did the divine intervention odds in my favor handed loaded dice and a loaded gun
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meeting Susannah? from Reno about 10 days later she brought a friend also from Reno and people around here think you're a hooker if you're from Reno she talked like Tori Amos but looked like Chelsea Clinton and turned out to be a hooker
but don't look at me, friend by then the Lord has done me in and she was wearing sheer tops with no bra and I was playing it cool like people did that in my farming communities
●●
"C'mon man you can do it one more drink just one more since it's the last one make it a double make it a triple make it worthwhile I'll get the ice-"
angels are writing funny things on walls this side of the lake
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did I.. the first time I saw the lake was with her I know that there were lights underwater I still see those lights
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my shoes are peach and are looking good bought in a Salvation Army actually
Dad told me Salvation Army was full of dead men's shoes he was right of course
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the dragon under the lake growled I bet when she saw my shoes and raised an eyebrow
I was with people I could barely stand whom I loved like family but "like family"
hoping to have enough to stay drunk for about 360 hours
I had the FG 75 and so many lies ready
●●
Jesus, always a pal provided the alcohol and the cigarettes and the guitar picks
she was--
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well I haven't met her yet the door is opening and I'm right behind them
I'm about to, though
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I remember now
We met at the foot of
a ladder
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https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/13vdvxx/morning/jm5wa5p https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/13v39w5/shallow_pond/jm5xibg submitted by
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OCPoetry [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 06:51 raccp18 I F-21 and my boyfriend M-21 wants to change this situation and get over
We've been together for about 8 months now, and while the first month was amazing, things have taken a turn for the worse. Here's what's been happening:
I started noticing my boyfriend talking frequently with a friend, and whenever I asked about her, he would say she was just a good friend. At first, I didn't mind their video calls, but I got suspicious when I saw some old texts between them with romantic GIFs and kisses. When I confronted him, he denied it and locked his phone. I cried a lot because I wanted to know who she was, but he didn't show me their chats. Later, I found out that she was actually his girlfriend and they hadn't broken up. I was completely shocked, but we decided to continue our relationship.
Another girl named Rachel from his college came into the picture, and he started flirting with her. When I asked him why, he explained that he had doubts about our relationship because of my past friends-with-benefits relationships. He thought I might leave him soon, so he wanted to explore other options.
He went on a trip with his college friends (all guys), but I didn't want him to go. I expressed my concerns about being alone because I struggle with sleeping, getting emotional, and having panic attacks when I'm by myself. He reassured me that I would manage and be strong while he was away. However, during the four days he was gone, I couldn't sleep and kept texting him to share my feelings. Later, I found out that he had called his ex and told her that he felt pressured in our relationship and that his relationship with her was better. Once again, I was shocked and hurt by his actions.
We had planned to have a threesome with another girl, and both of us were talking to her. However, I discovered that he had separately asked her to have sex with him and explicitly told her not to tell me about it. This revelation left me in utter shock.
In his job search, he communicates with HR representatives over WhatsApp for updates. One HR representative happened to be his ex's friend, and their conversation turned to the topic of sex. He even asked her if she wanted to sleep with him. Once again, I was shocked and hurt by his actions.
Throughout our relationship, he has been comparing me to his exes and friends in terms of physical attributes like boobs and body shape. This constant comparison has made me feel inadequate, especially since I've gained weight due to depression.
Main issue: We've had discussions about all these incidents, and he attributes his behavior to low self-esteem. He explained that he feels proud when other girls want to sleep with him because it makes him believe he's good enough for me. It's been 1.5 months since he last flirted with anyone because he promised he would change. We currently live together, but we're moving back to our hometown where our families live just 3 km apart.
I'm struggling to trust him with other girls, even though he claims to love me. I've given him countless chances because I don't want to lose him, but I'm concerned that when we move back home, he might repeat his past actions since I won't be able to check his phone or monitor his behavior as closely. Yesterday, I broke down in tears again thinking about how he used to compare me to others and how he flirted with other girls. His excuse for all this has been his "low self-esteem."
I do everything for him and I try my best, the sex is good and everything is good apart from this phase. This phase has affected me a lot, I cry over little things, I get hurt quickly.
Please suggest how I get over this situation, because I keep thinking about what he did in the past and what he can do in future. I don't want him to leave and I want to help him. He has not done such things in 1.5 months now but I'm scared.
TDLR: I f21 struggling to trust my bf m21 with girls.
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2023.05.30 06:51 mmtu-87 Maintain contact with Dad and go LC to NC with Mother?
TL;DR mother is
really shitty, dad is Trying™ as much as he's married to my mother. I am still attached to my dad but would be happy to never see or talk to my mother again. Is there any way for me to have a relationship with my dad and not with my mother? Advice! Suggestions! The cold hard truth! I'm listening!!
Full post: I wish my parents would get a divorce so I could talk to my dad all I wanted and not have to deal with my mother at all.
Sadly, that is not in the cards. So I'm stuck trying to navigate this shitty situation with no objective advice.
Long story short: I (22F) am in a lesbian relationship. My mother is homophobic and a self-righteous narcissist. My dad has been married to her for... 24+ years? and at this point, my mother has worn him down so much he doesn't stand up to her about almost anything. So, even though my mother said she would not, tried to talk to me about how "perverted" and "sinful" and "not God's best" the whole thing was—when my dad told me later he would come to my wedding anyways, I really felt like he cared.
Well, whether by chance or by choice, my mother scheduled a religious-centric trip to Europe close enough to my wedding that any change in flight schedules, or having to move the wedding up a day due to weather issues, would result in my dad not being able to come. Guess what happened? Both!
(Feel free to look at
my last post for more context, though most of the context is just my emotional state.)
I am inclined to believe my mother did this on purpose, as I am also convinced she persuaded my brother to not come to my wedding. I am still very, very hurt that my dad missed my wedding. I saw him today and he didn't even... really address that he missed it. I just wanted an "I'm sorry I missed your wedding". Instead I got "well the weather sucked so bad this weekend that moving it up was the right choice" and "you were secretly always my favorite child". Sigh.
Right now, I want to go low contact to no contact with my mother and maintain some level of contact with my dad. Current level of contact: For the year plus of my partner and I trying to pull together this wedding, my mother has called me almost every week to try to talk to me, and has tried to have me and my partner over for dinner, using The Good China, with her and my dad (and occassionally my brother and/or cousin) once a month. I have no idea why she tries to have us both over for dinner when she made it abundantly clear that, while I was living in her house, my partner was NOT welcome. Also frankly I have more contact currently with my mother than I have with my dad, which sucks.
Complicating factors: - I still pay my mother for my portion of health insurance and the phone bill. She does not care about taking me off either. - My partner convinced me to let my shitty excuse for a mother and my dad watch our dog (who I swear my mother likes more than me) for our honeymoon, for financial reasons. - My mother and my dad have that pseudo codependent relationship that straight couples without good friends have—you know the one. - My dad will likely never divorce my mother. On some level, this feels like a betrayal, because none of the reasons I can come up with for him to do this excuse this choice
enough.
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2023.05.30 06:51 hazmatt019 Kevin Tan
Ok, so are we supposed to believe the police will believe the Walter fabricated story about Kevins partner stopping his corruption? He was shot 3 times in a trunk. That will be pretty easily discovered by forensics. And there WILL be a heavy forensics effort put into the death of a cop at another officers hand. IDK, I'm not trying to tear up the finale but that seems pretty weak. I get it's a TV show and sometimes the story has to be moved along, but that's a real stretch.
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2023.05.30 06:50 okydohc How can I believe these terrible things and still feel alright?
Please give me some feedback on this, I would really appreciate it.
I have an ever-expanding collection of strange and scary beliefs, and I feel like it’s inching past “everyone feels like that sometimes“ territory. I would assume someone with these beliefs to be mentally unwell. But I am generally popular with people. I write cute little jokes, my personality is light, and I’m happy to craft pleasant conversations from awkward air in the grocery line. I do well as a bartender. So how can I relate to others in such a healthy way and all the while harbor these (forgive me but) crazy fears?
I’m probably overreacting but I’m a little worried that this isn’t normal. I shared a couple of these with my therapist months ago but have since concealed the full amount of them. I absolutely believe all of these things to be true every day.
(Disclaimer, brief mention of CSA)
—My dad is going to come kill me in my sleep to make my parents’ problems go away. (In recent years my parents have dedicated a lot of time and energy to caring for me and helping me feel loved. I still believe very strongly that my dad will decide to kill me or has decided already.)
—Tiny cameras that I would never notice have been set up by people I know personally. Even hidden in their clothing. (In every lighthearted conversation with my favorite coworker, I must also acknowledge the possibility that he’s filming me with his glasses and watching the footage at home. The chef at work has likely positioned a spy camera facing the toilet in the back bathroom.)
—Anytime I receive a compliment, it’s because someone has gone ahead of me and instructed others to compliment me.
—My dad is attracted to me. (Irrational and very disturbing. My nightmares have often cast my dad as the scary male figure, so that’s probably why I’m sometimes more bothered by this.)
—A guy I know is stalking me outside my home for months and taking photos of me in my kitchen every night. (I have 5 close suspects. I am shocked that this has become such a fact in my head. I’ve gone so far as to hold up a sign saying “I know you’re there, I can see you.” I felt like I went off the deep end. I’ve done that more than once. I believed this was happening when I was in 8th grade too.)
—I am being constantly monitored by Them… some kind of group. (This is the first irrational fear I remember developing. When I was really little, I remember I just couldn’t take the paranoia anymore so I accepted it as true to move on.)
—If my parents don’t answer the phone, I somewhat expect a call from the police informing me of their deaths. I zone out for a minute and picture that scenario and sit with how that feels. I move on. shudder
—A man who violated me as a child is still in my life, and enjoys watching me struggle with PTSD.
—If I feel that recently things are working out for me better than they should, it’s because the universe or God knows my life will end in unimaginable suffering. (It sounds hippie dippie, but it’s just an ill-defined vulnerability to how it all shakes out in the end. Still, it’s nonsensical, and it’s not right to react to any ease or pleasure in my life with an explanation like that.)
—Tragic stories in the news are completely fake, and created to manipulate us. When I can’t wrap my mind around something horrible or someone evil, I immediately dismiss it as fake. This is obviously irrational, and dangerous when it comes to people irl. If someone tells me about their incredibly tortured past, I may also consider that they’ve been planted to tell me that story. That’s a terrible and unfair thing to believe about someone who’s just opened up to me. It also disrupts healthy connections in my head. Imagine looking at your friend who you love and equally considering that they might somehow be fake. Never being able to dispel that notion years down the line.
Anyway, there are always more, and I’m also susceptible to “life is a simulation” theory and concepts of that nature. I don’t want to be. I want so badly to feel like things are simple and to take everything at face-value. I know these feelings are not rooted in reality. Scratch that… my mind said “I know to SAY these feelings are not rooted in reality.” See what I mean? It makes my head spin. Why am I like this and how can I escape when it’s been building since my childhood? I’m interested in hearing anything anybody has to say about this.
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2023.05.30 06:50 Direct-Parsnip4065 I WISH
| I wish we were treated the same way here in the UK by our trusts/hospitals or wards we work in. Quite contrary to that, we do have a picture of ward staffs on the board which includes everyone except the doctors working in that ward. I will save you the hassle of typing - it does not include even the consultants who are a permanent members of the concerned department unlike junior doctors. submitted by Direct-Parsnip4065 to JuniorDoctorsUK [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 06:49 MusicDrugsAndLove Trip Report (Never touching drugs again.)
| I’m a druggie. I’ve tried to quit before with many failures. The other day me and my girlfriend had a serious conversation about me quitting. I was becoming a bum and she didn’t want this, and neither did I. Long story short, later that day with this same idea kinda in the back of my head I took 2 1/2 tabs of lsd This was some good shit too. I was in my room in the dark just listening to Crack The Skye by Mastadon (Most insane musically experience of my life. Mastadon is fantastic.) But while i was chilling listening to it this huge angel looking creature came into my room and just stared at me. I’ve seen “entities while tripping like sometimes i’ll see people or animals but yo. This thing stared into my soul, and it was huge. It felt so real. When it disappeared I quite literally lost my mind for a few hours and was so insanely confused about everything. But i’ve been reading into the angel a lot since then. ( Link @ top shows exact angel thing I saw.) The form it took was something called like a Seraphon or something. It basically sits at gods throne and is a symbol of Purification and forgiveness of sins. I did not know this at all, had never seen it before. Yet it came to me, and stared me into my soul dude. I’m never touching drugs again. I’m not religious at all but I think god came to me. submitted by MusicDrugsAndLove to LSD [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 06:49 No_Brief_124 Haven't posted in a while
I feel like I just need to get this out there... So I have had a lot of good things go for me and then they all got reversed in the span of like a month. My body weight exercise and running had to stop, I've injured myself I guess. Which doing this and the intensity is the only source of feeling good and pride I have left now. I had to take a 2nd job to move. I didn't have to at the start of this but new events occurred.
My fatheroommate was dumped by the girl literally everyone told him not to date. He is acting like it is a great thing and then I catch him mooping around watching self help videos on recovering from an abusive relationship.... Annoying because 2 years ago I was practicing dodging right hooks and he got talked bad to once. I still have lingering effects from my seizure, like vertigo. And I get super dizzy. 2 weeks ago I was accused of relapsing and had my belonging searched, nothing was turned up so I must have gotten good at hiding things. I finally snapped off at him. (For the record, I am in a constantly dull 3 to 4 pain in my shoulder and I have my tylenol monitored, while his knee "Hurts" and he takes CBD gummies that have THC in them first thing in the morning. I have told him this several times and the reply is "I don't get high off it." He told me to move out, which perf. But I don't have the money too and I don't have anyone to help. So I have to hire movers. Movers that cost 1600$ to make the move. Hence the second job. My car's transmission is going out on me, and I am caught between limp along and hope and Doordash while it is available to me. I tried to reach out and get him some comfort, and I was snubbed that I don't know what I am talking about. I also had AA explained to me by someone that hasn't even opened the AA big book or attended a meeting.
All my friends are gone. I found out in January that my father was doing favors for them to get them to tell me to do what he wants me to do. I know this for a fact because my sponsor told me.... 2 years later.
The girl I was seeing made me the bad guy in the situation. Somehow I manipulated him to punch her in the back of the head, but ok.
All of this is evident to one thing.. I gotta get out... I actually had a person reach out to me asking for help on Youtube. I didn't respond for days because I was convinced that it was a fake account and my father. I can't trust any advice given in AA.
My mother called and was asking for updates on my life. I told her what I felt comfortable sharing and she countered with all of my business.. that she "heard around town"
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2023.05.30 06:49 Sea-Low-8826 How to build trust after porn addiction
Hey guys, my husband is a porn addict. We have been together almost 10 years and he has been very good at hiding it from me. When I had originally and unintentionally found out I let him know I'd prefer he not watch it. He would tell me he's not watching it and then I would find out he did at some point and it just made me feel shitty. Especially because a lot of times during our relationship he has been getting off to porn and not put the effort into us. At a point I tried to initiate often and was shot down A LOT and was told he just wasn't feeling it/had a low sex drive. But here's the kicker, he was jerking off to porn at that time. It really lowered my self esteem and made me not want to initiate on the fear of being turned down. I've really tried to work through it, but everytime I catch him watching porn it just crushes me and we have to start all over. We had a baby 8 months ago and obviously my body has changed and I wasn't as lucky to drop the weight. I'm very self conscious as I've never been this heavy in my life or had stretch marks on my stomach. I feel disgusting, not even because of how I look, but that he will watch porn instead of initiate anything with me. I am a good looking woman regardless of the extra weight. He did recently open up to me that he has an addiction and it's not about me. I'm trying to get it and be cool about it, but after being lied to so many times, I'm having a hard time being cool especially since I look different now. We had talked about a way for me to know that he is definitely not doing it so that we can build trust back again, but the accountable app we looked at was so invasive he didn't like that it would monitor everything and I get that. Is there anything that has helped you or your spouse build trust back? Anyone in this situation or on the other side that can give insite and/or advice? I love my husband so much and I know he doesn't want to hurt me, I just need to know I can trust him again.
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2023.05.30 06:48 ThrowRAnewmama22 I left 4 days ago and feeling like I might have made a huge mistake
I (35f) left my husband (31m) after being together 8 years, married for 6. We have a 9 month old baby girl. You can see my previous posts for specifics about what I was dealing with, but to summarize, he's emotionally and verbally abusive, rips things out of my hands, threatens to escalate or break things, slammed the front door, so I couldnt leave when holding our baby in my arms, and gets in my face taunting me with our baby in his arms.
Now that we have a baby together I can't put up with this anymore. I want her and I to feel safe (he thinks I'm exaggerating and being over dramatic) I had 2 options, try to get an OOP and have him removed from our apartment or just leave and stay with my family. I couldn't stomach kicking him out, so while he was at work my mom and I packed up a bunch of me and babies things and I moved in with her. I took more than I needed because I was afraid that he would destroy my things when he found out I left. Of course he was LIVID! Called me 18 times, yelling at me on the phone, calling me names, saying he hopes I get in a car accident.
Even during all of this I'm feeling like I made a huge mess and maybe I really am being too dramatic. I feel so sick to my stomach. I have no appetite and I don't feel this freedom everyone talks about. I look at my baby girl and it breaks my heart that she may be growing up with divorced parents and I can't take the guilt. Whenever she cries I'm afraid it's because she's missing her dad. She doesn't understand why her routine has changed and where he's at.
He has called the police, but fortunately they won't take her from me which fuels his fire. I have made it clear that he is welcome to come here to my families and spend time with her, but I don't trust him to take her without me. I feel like he wouldn't bring her back and then there would be nothing I could do until going through the courts. I'm not trying to keep him from her, but I'm afraid the courts will call this parental alienation. He refuses to see her because he doesn't want to come to my families house to do it.
I haven't filed anything. I guess I was kind of hoping that maybe this would be a wake up call for him to change, but it's really done the complete opposite. He hates me and is prepared to take "serious legal action". I don't want to get divorced, I don't want to split custody and have my daughter grow up in 2 homes. It's eating me alive. Do I wait it out and see if he files? Or should I make the move first? I haven't been able to reach a lawyer yet due to the holiday weekend and I work the next few days.
Sorry this is so long. I just expected to feel free and safe and like I did the right thing, but I feel like I want to go back. I feel like I can't do this and I don't want to do this. Am I in the wrong for only allowing him to see her at my families house so he can't leave with her? I'm a mess.
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ThrowRAnewmama22 to
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