Mill supply van parts

Harold Token - The Community-Driven Crypto with Pain Relief Rewards!
🌟 Alleviate crypto space challenges
🚀 Empower holders with exciting rewards
💰 Tokenomics: 8% tax (4% rewards + 4% marketing)
💼 Supply: 1,000,000,000 $HAROLD
🚀 Launch on BSC
🔒 Verified contract
🚫 No private or presale
💎 Rewards in BNB
⚖️ Max Wallet 1%
Join us now and be part of the movement. Let's create a thriving community together! #HaroldToken
https://linktr.ee/subway89

The Left The Left (that is, anything beyond old-style liberal) has always been radical by its very nature. It just wasn't widely put into action or followed until the 20th century. If you read Hegel, or even Mill and others, you find some really radical, far-Left, socialist egalitarianism (and/or cultism, typically gnostic in nature -- clearly speaking to a religious drive even on the so-called irreligious Left). Regardless of the authors' true intentions, their writings were very radical, and were put into very radical policy some time later (directly following what they wrote).
To find something that might be actually liberal or Left-wing, you'd technically have to travel to America circa 1870 at the latest, or England and Western Europe way back in the mid-1700s, if not 1600s. Since, by the 1800s, radical leftism was in full swing in places like England, Germany, France, and the Netherlands. Russia got this a bit late, but was fully experiencing the 'death of God', as it were, by the 1860s according to Tolstoy and Dostoevsky, right around the time of Marx himself. This ultimately crushed the spirit of Russia, and led directly to emotional depression and a shift to Marxism by the 1890s through 1910s (with Lenin at the helm). Of course, Germany had its own major socialist and internal problems circa 1860-1914, as well. We saw the same sort of reality in Italy, Japan, and elsewhere.
We already know that leftist utopianism and proto-socialism (or proto-Communism) was popping up in England and some other nations by the 1500s, often by the Enlightenment thinkers themselves (as noted by More, but also early or pre-Enlightenment writers themselves). This traditional Left or liberalism would be 'classical liberalism' (proper), not to be confused with the modern classical liberalism, which often speaks to some kind of 19th- to early-20th century liberalism or part of the New Left and classical progressivism (i.e. 1960s).
The Left vs. Right (and progressive vs. traditionalist) notion itself came from America on the topic of ending slavery, and was largely a logistical choice as to properly seat people. However, this was made instantly complex by the Democratic Party's pro-slavery stance throughout this entire period, and it's also made complex by the fact a large number of fundamentally traditionalist, Right-wing types are and were anti-slavery from the very beginning. Naturally, in the more European and modern context, this is seen more through a Marxian lens of Communism vs. capitalism, coupled with notions of equality and utopianism and socialism (Left/modern progressivism, and the Democratic Party and various labour and socialist parties in the European context since the 1920s, more so, the 1960s) vs. general traditionalism (Right/Conservatives, and the Republican Party and conservative parties).
Atheism
Turning to atheism, let's look at Islam as New Atheism likes to. I see no evidence that an atheistic state is any less violent, corrupt, and/or unstable; in fact, the Muslim state in general seems very peaceful and stable, looking at its 1,400-year history compared to other long histories. Of course, there has been major warfare between Muslim nations and non-Muslim nations (or groups), but there has been little major warfare within the Muslim world itself, speaking to profound internal stability, which is very important for a culture and people to actually survive and function.
Atheism as a national matter, in any country, has really only existed since 1917 with the Soviet Union. In short: we have only had 100 years of national atheism so far, and it has been a complete failure, far beyond the rest of the world's histories and systems (almost always under Communism, as there are few options on offer). This makes me believe that such a project is impossible. The best examples people give today would be Sweden and Germany and such, but those are not ideal examples if you know anything of 20th century history. On top of this, they are actually quite Christian and have been for 1,000 and 2,000 years, respectively. On top of this, (say) Sweden has a long-standing semi-socialist system, making it one of the very few countries to ever create such a state even semi-functionally. But, this does come with the cost of little innovation, and it got a lot of its wealth and stability from aiding Germany in the 1930s and 1940s. It's also a tiny nation of mostly white people, making it innately quite stable and easy to govern (and this seems entirely at odds with the Left's general multi-culturalism and mega-city vision for the future). The only other thing I would say is that the project of an atheistic, secularist, equalist, socialist Sweden is failing right now, largely due to mass depression and hopelessness, zero social movement due to such a system (mostly of the younger generations), and major attacks from external forces due to lack of proper strength and national identity. Also, worth noting that white Sweden women are willingly fleeing to Islam ever since it came to Sweden in a big way by 2015 or so. My guess is that Sweden will keep falling and Islam will keep rising over the next 40 years.
I would love somebody to offer some solid evidence of an actual atheistic nation that is stable, non-religious, and functional (long-term), without just being a socialist failed state or likewise. I've not seen a single example from the 195 nations on Earth, or the 300+ major nations and cultures that have ever existed. That's a large number of sub-cultures and groups, across 100 billion people (as this is how many humans have ever lived, I read). This tells me that creating such a state is actually impossible, directly against basic biology and human nature (further evidenced by the fact every other species on Earth also gift themselves proto-religious and moral, social structures. Even Darwin himself noted as much in the 1860s regarding the fundamentally human morality of animals such as chimps and various birds, etc.).
It's highly suspect that the Left/atheists reject basic biology and evolution in the interest of absolute anti-religion/atheism. I thought the Left's whole thinking was grounded in biology. What other options do they have? Leftists/atheists (overall) only do this to key leftist stances and matters; but they wholly accept Darwinism and biology for other matters (i.e. when it fits their thinking). If we want to be objective, then we have to conclude that (a) all humans and animals are born religious; (b) religiosity is a biological adaptation placed within all advanced beings; and (c) it's impossible to remove or replace said religiosity, without simply replacing it with a worse, invented form (i.e. Marxist cultism or Hegelian cultism, etc.). This is why all atheistic types that are actually objective and biologically-driven, such as Bret Weinstein and Jon Haidt, accept this fact. Only the radical atheists with deeper, darker motives and agendas claim that religion is not Darwinian (or, merely a mind virus, to use Dawkins' term), and that atheism is actually the default position of humans (in some weird blank slate kind of argument, which was debunked about 300 years ago by Hume and, more recently, by basic science -- since leftists generally love the notion of 'the science').
The fact every culture is religious, including the atheistic ones (wokeism, post-modernism, Marxism, Communism, etc.) strongly implies that there is no hope for a truly atheistic, secularist, rationalist state of any positive kind. The closest I've ever seen was Nazi Germany, and that failed horribly by 1939 (or, if you're very sensitive to the Jews and other matters, then it failed in about 1928, when the Party first went really extreme, in both thought and action -- long before WWII). The other major examples of a completely atheistic state or culture might be seen within China, Sweden, Japan, North Korea, the Soviet Union, France, and modern America, among others. But, again: none of these are actually atheistic, and the ones that are truly rationalist, secularist, and anti-religion are some of the worst systems to ever be created, filled with endless mass murder, so I count that as a failure beyond measure.
It's also worth noting the general (70%-+) core beliefs and policy between atheistic nations, thinkers, and systems/groups (ranging from France to Sam Harris to critical race theory to New Atheism/Atheism+). This can be summed up in one word: Marxism (though a handful of atheistic thinkers are famously capitalistic, they are quite Marxist in social terms, and this is the primary reading of Marx and the socialists: not in terms of wealth generation, etc., but in terms of social thinking and morality). In ten words: utopianism, gnosticism, (French) post-modernism, Marxism, radical feminism, progressivism, socialism, collectivism. As a result, if you think that you strongly disagree with 70% of the atheistism movements and thinkers, etc., you may want to reject yourself from that camp. Following the logic of Wittgenstein, it's very simple: if p (%) X = Y, then Y = X. In this case, 70% seems reasonable from everything I know and have seen over the last 10 years, and this also seems like a high enough percentage to justify the thinking. If 70% of atheism = Marxism (and related), then we can conclude that Marxism = atheism, and atheism = Marxism, as fundamental groups (that is, of people); after all, groups are just collections of people. And, again, Wittgenstein taught us that meaning is use; as a result, you should always follow the function (usage) of nouns, groups, modifiers and otherwise. I would cap p at 60%; though, one could still claim that if a group is fundamentally split 50/50, that speaks to a major problem with that group. Actually, this typically leads to a break.
This is why many (how many?) atheists reject the label, 'atheist': because they don't want to be assocaited with the general movement and its followers. Sometimes they do this despite actually agreeing with 70% of it; sometimes they outright reject said 70%; and sometimes they are doing it to try and remain objective in their world view and place in life (either in general or due to their job, etc.), regardless of their actual beliefs.
(Of course, 70% or so, is not the entire movement and people -- but it's the vast majority, which is more than enough. Even if it were just 60%, that would still be enough, I believe, if such is rooted not just in the followers but also the core doctines and texts, etc. of said movement. It's to be expected that this would be true in some direction, for any given group/movement (that's literally what a group means, to have major agreement/overlap at every level; otherwise, it's either not a group, or an extremely broken group. Atheism is made almost innately broken due to Gnositic thinking (i.e. some hidden knowledge that must be enforced upon the world, to free them from themselves), keeping it fragmented to avoid centralising and/or to avoid true debate around such topics. As a result, it's a common New Atheist tactic to avoid debating atheism in any way by simply claiming that it's 'not a movement or group at all, it's just a simple rejection of God due to lack of evidence'). This is to say, the only difference between attheism and other groups/movements (-isms) is that atheists typically claim that they don't have such shared beliefs, or any core beliefs or stances, beyond the statement that, 'there is no evidence that God exists' or something along those lines.
Well, the fact 70% of them and their groups and movements are in lockstep on generic, modern Left issues speaks volumes, ranging from abortion and transgenderism to removing churches and re-shaping the educational system, and much more. The fact Matt Dillahunty himself turned around in 2018 or so and became full-blown pro-trans was a great indication that atheistic thinkers merely jump on the latest far-Left movement and trend, which either never existed before or was not an issue they cared about at all. On top of this, I don't see how Matt and RR and the others account for such things within a purely Darwinian/biological framework. I thought New Atheists required evidence for all their beliefs and opinions, never faith and blind trust? So, why does Matt blindly trust that a trans person is a trans person merely because they claim to be? This is not good evidence at all, and directly goes against biology and science. If you want to watch this, I believe it was in the Matt vs. Jordan Peterson debate on Pangburn, but I also think the topic may have come up with his debate with D'Souza on Pangburn, as well. Bret Weinstein would be an example of an atheistic type who is actually pretty objective and reasonable, but he is very rare within the New Atheist/atheistic space as of 2023 -- even as of 1983. But, as with the rest of the far-Left, most of this is in line with everything that has been happening with the post-modernist/intersectionalist types and Gen-Z since 2013. It's no accident that for the first time in human history we have (almost) an entire generation of atheists, and they are woke, purple-haired, sex-confused, cultist, narcissitic, pathetic wasteland people (to borrow a throw-away term from Douglas Murray).)

Harold Token - The Community-Driven Crypto with Pain Relief Rewards!
🌟 Alleviate crypto space challenges
🚀 Empower holders with exciting rewards
💰 Tokenomics: 8% tax (4% rewards + 4% marketing)
💼 Supply: 1,000,000,000 $HAROLD
🚀 Launch on BSC
🔒 Verified contract
🚫 No private or presale
💎 Rewards in BNB
⚖️ Max Wallet 1%
Join us now and be part of the movement. Let's create a thriving community together! #HaroldToken
https://linktr.ee/subway89

Alright! After four months or so of dragging this out of my head, it's finally done. Special thanks to u/Swimming_Good_8507, J-son of Alien Nation, u/KLiCkonthat, u/An_Insufferable_NEWT and the other editors of the SSB Discord for helping me clean this one up. As with any other aspiring author; updoots, comments and the like help fuel my desire to write more.
CW for brief graphic violence.
Enjoy~
​
= = =
​
The silence was deafening. In all of her time on Earth, Evelra had seen more than her fair share of human riots, protests and civil unrest, but this was something else. For the fourth day in a row now, protesters had packed themselves together like fish at the market, filling the massive four-lane boulevard leading up to the governess’s estate. One of the early counts had placed some three thousand plus humans out there, and by her own estimate that number had at least doubled since then. When she had followed her orders and commanded the crowd to disperse over the loudspeakers, they had, almost in unison, sat down on the ground. That had been an hour ago. Since then, the governess’s insistence that she “do something” about them had only grown more and more rabid.
​
A brief glance up and down the front of the governess’s estate simply reconfirmed what Evelra already knew: The humans were staying on the other side of the street, leaving an empty road between them and the mansion. All in clear accordance with security regulations.
​
What felt like a million eyes glared up at her and the rest of the marines in silence. Many had covered their mouths with humanity’s seemingly ubiquitous ‘duct tape,’ while others merely wore cold stone-faced expressions. Sticking up out of the crowd were a plethora of signs, mostly in Shil’vati runes, but English lettering was dotted around as well. “No Voice, No Labor.” Was the most common sign, and certainly the nicest of them. Evelra suppressed a sigh and considered how in the deep they had gotten to this point.
​
The War was going poorly. Nobody wanted to admit it, but the Empire was hemorrhaging at the seams. Initial strikes had gone well, but the Alliance was massive. Every liberated world meant another garrison had to be established; and while some accepted the uplifting stability Imperial citizenship offered, most did not. Supply lines were stretched thin and even the vaunted Imperial Navy and their Marines couldn’t be everywhere at once. Simply put, the numbers weren’t adding up.
​
And all the while, Humanity bled.
​
“Captain? The governess’ demands, we aren’t going to?...” The voice of Eleynor, one of Evelra’s lieutenants and leader of Pod 7 cut through her thoughts. Over the officer’s comm channel, the other woman’s voice was rife with nervousness. There were more than a few boyfriends out in that crowd. No garrison wanted to be the first to buckle, to acquiesce; nor did they wish to be responsible for carrying out atrocities.
​
“No. We will not.” she replied in as steely of a tone as she could manage. The line was silent for a moment before her subordinate quietly spoke up again. “Good.”
​
As the line went dead, Evelra finally let out a sigh. As much as she agreed with the lieutenant’s morals, she still had to fulfill her directives and clear out this protest; regardless of the governess’s madness. Behind the sound-proofed safety of her sealed helmet, the marine Captain groaned in frustration. It was time to, as the humans put it, try something stupid.
​
Stepping down past the main gate’s guard post to one of the forward barricades, Evelra came up to stand shoulder to shoulder with Prexith, her current second. The other woman briefly glanced her way before looking back out at the crowd. “You’re getting restless Cap. Gonna rattle the troops if you keep that up.” Evelra chuckled slightly and adjusted the shoulder strap on her rifle. “Just leading from the front, Sarge. Need to keep ‘em inspired. What’s that human phrase, a stiff lower lip?” The younger woman ribbed back before falling quiet as she surveyed the mass of silent human protesters before them.
​
Letting the silence sit for a minute, Evelra eventually spoke up again. “Your thoughts, Sergeant?” She asked, the unspoken subject of her question spread out before them. There was an introspective grunt as Prexith took a moment to gather her thoughts. “Well, to correctly quote a human phrase, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. Following the Governess’ ‘requests’ to the letter would be tantamount to career suicide.”
​
“And if she makes them an official order?...” Evelra interjected.
“Then you’re both fucked.” Prex replied without hesitation.
​
The marine captain let out a low, disgusted groan of irritation. “Sounds about right. And here I thought my parentage would be enough to keep me out of politics.” Resisting the urge to try and rub her face through her helmet, Evelra continued. “So, you think there’s any insurgents out there?”
​
Prex harrumphed. “Wouldn’t surprise me, but I doubt they’re here to do anything more than participate as legitimate protesters or play at being ‘security.’ Nobody’s been randomly shooting at us around here in years, even with things deteriorating as they have been.” The sergeant paused, cocking her head to one side. “Why?”
​
Evelra unslung her rifle and passed it to Prex. “Hold on to this for me. I’ve got a bad idea, and you just convinced me it might just not be a suicidal one.”
Prexith balked for a moment, face unreadable through the tint of her helmet’s visor. “Cap, words like that tend to make your subordinates very nervous. Care to explain yourself?” The sergeant growled, trying to push the rifle back to her superior.
​
“Just trying to find a peaceful solution before somebody does something stupid.”
For a few more seconds Prex hesitated before slowly relenting as she took the rifle. “Alright, fine. Don’t you dare go getting yourself killed. Last thing I want is to end up taking orders from some puffed up lieutenant who’s got more noble lineage than brains.”
​
Stepping past the forward barricades, Evelra took her helmet off and looked over her shoulder at the woman who’d tempered her academy training with years of actual experience, a wry smile on her face. “You know better than to ask for something like that. Command of the Mansion’s defenses is yours. So keep things lashed down for a minute here, will you?”
​
= = =
​
Watching the Purp in the armored catsuit take her helmet off through the scope of his rifle, the man paused to consider the situation. Years ago, back in the resistance’s early heydays, he would have just taken the shot without a second thought. An officer without a helmet was an obvious target. Now though, things were… complicated.
​
Sure, with the economy’s recovery and all the new toys the invaders had given them, new bullets and even guns were easy enough to make, but that came with its own problems. The Purps had come to be frustratingly good at tracking down where homegrown weapons and ammo had been manufactured. Every manufacturer they traced cost the resistance. A resistance that no longer had people to spare.
​
Gone were the days where you could just recruit a bunch of lowlifes from your local dive bar to break the front lines. Imperial healthcare, both mental and physical, was almost a universal thing on earth now. Climate change? An old memory. While there were still humans living below the poverty line, the global percentage was less than a third of what it had been before the invasion. For the common man, the benefits of subservience had come to outweigh the sting of subjugation.
​
Any real sense of passion for human independence was now well and truly dead. It had either been jaded over in the face of reality or burned out at the business end of a laser rifle. As much as the man didn’t want to admit it, he knew better than to blame the average Shil for what their empire did. In the light of recent years, his own distant memories of Iraq and Afghanistan were a bitter pill to swallow on the best of nights. Too many of them were only soldiers, mere cogs in the machine, just like he had been.
​
So the man simply watched and waited; his finger gently resting outside the trigger well.
​
= = =
​
It was a short walk across the street to the protesters, just barely enough time for Evelra to organize her thoughts. Selecting a random human, the marine captain strode up and knelt down in front of him. “I need to speak to whoever is in charge of organizing this protest please.” A sullen pair of eyes stared back in wary silence. She took a deep breath and tried again. “Please, it’s important. The safety of everyone here is at stake.”
​
Time seemed to stretch on in agonizing slowness until the male finally sighed and reached into one of his many pockets to pull out a tiny pre-liberation phone. Flipping the thing open, Evelra watched as he rapidly tapped away at its even smaller buttons, his thumbs a brief blur. With a final jab at what she assumed was the ‘send’ key, he flipped the phone shut, put it back into his pocket and returned to staring at her in silence. The marine gave a sigh of her own and settled down cross-legged in front of him; helmet in her lap. This was probably going to take a bit.
​
While she waited, Evelra did her best not to stare. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do though. So many human males rocked the tomgirl stereotype to perfection and the man in front of her was no exception. Torn “jeans,” a metal studded vest and local footwear blended well with a more galactically standard shirt, even if it was a bit on the provocative side. The marine flushed slightly and looked away again. The low cut “V” of his shirt was enticing to look at, but it also continued to draw her eyes to the runes written across his sternum in the color of human blood: “Eyes up, hands off.”
​
“I… I’m sorry.” Evelra found herself saying, the words coming unbidden to her lips, the male in front of her arching a questioning eyebrow in response. “For that being necessary.” She explained, gesturing to the writing on his chest which earned her a slow nod of acknowledgement. “Was… was it prompted by anything recent?” She asked hesitantly, already guessing the answer. Another nod. “Fuck.” The marine captain sighed, rubbing the back of her head. “Was it any of my girls? The marines?” A shake this time. Evelra sighed again, this time in bitter relief. “Well, I suppose that’s something. Maybe mandating all that etiquette training is actually paying off.”
​
Lapsing back into silence, Evelra absently fiddled with her helmet as she tried to find a better place for her eyes to rest. She couldn’t meet his gaze. While it wasn’t filled with hate, the silent frustrated rage in it was just too much to handle. Looking down came with its own set of problems, so she settled for letting her eyes pass back and forth over the crowd before her. Before too long though, biology took over and she found herself chest gazing once more.
​
“I…” The marine captain started in lamely again, stumbling over her words. By the deeps Ev,’ You’ve been on the planet of warrior princes for more than a single tour now, why the fuck can’t you talk to boys yet? Say something damnit! She thought to herself. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her mind and pressed forward.
​
“I’m sorry. Really. I just hope you know that we’re not all… like that.”
​
The words felt like ash in her mouth the moment they left her lips. Ev’, you did not just tell a boy that. Of course he knows. But that wasn’t the point, was it? The Shil’vati woman mentally berated herself as she braced for the male’s backlash. Instead, she blinked in confusion as she watched him open his mouth to say something, only to awkwardly look away with a flush before slowly closing up the front of his shirt; eyes firmly locked on the ground.
​
Before Evelra had time to parse any of it together, there was a soft vibrating buzz from the male’s vest. Clearly happy for the distraction, he hastily whipped the phone back out and opened it; his eyes briefly twitching back and forth as he read. Clambering to his feet, he quickly looked over the amassed crowd of protesters before pointing roughly towards the center of it all.
​
Standing up as well, the marine’s gaze followed the direction of his finger. Off into the middle of all this. Figures. Here’s to hoping you’re reading the winds right on this one. Evelra thought as she let out a nervous breath. “Thank you.” She said over her shoulder as she stepped past the protester and deeper into the crowd.
​
With her helmet clipped to her waist, Evelra carefully picked her way through the morass of protesters. Thanks to the sheer density of the crowd, it proved to be slow going, the marine doing her utmost to not step on any of the seated humans. Closely watching where she was walking also made it easier to ignore their stares.
​
“Over here!” An elderly voice called out. Turning, she could just see hand waving through the sea of protest signs. As she walked towards the speaker, the seated humans scooted out of her path, narrowly parting like a shoal of fish before her. Making her way over, Evelra came up to an elderly man seated on a couple of folded up jackets. Calmly looking up at her, he gestured to a small opening on the ground in front of him. Gingerly settling down cross-legged in the opening, the marine captain took another, closer look at one who’d organized all of this.
​
He was older than she’d initially thought, Evelra realized. The elder’s face was creased with long, deep wrinkles that crinkled and shifted as his expression changed while jowls hung loose from the bottom of his face. His short, tightly curled hair had faded to an almost pure shade of white, sharply contrasting the dark tone of his skin. Yet the brown eyes that stared back at her still had much of their youthful sharpness; merely tempered by experience rather than weathered by age.
​
“I’m Isaiah. I heard there was some kind of emergency, a big safety issue?” He said, his tone rough but quiet with a gentle sort of faded strength. The elder promptly got down to business as he spoke, a fist bump already extended.
​
“Captain Evelra… and it sounds like there was a slight miscommunication. Not an emergency, but this is important.” She replied, lightly tapping his knuckles with her own. “The governess is getting restless. I’m worried she may rashly issue… questionable orders under the circumstances. I was hoping to find a way to resolve this peacefully before the situation unravels any further.” She said a little slowly, carefully minding her word choice.
​
“Can you do anything to give us a say in how things are run?” Isaiah asked simply, to which Evelra gave a slight grimace and glanced away.
“Well, no. But-”
“Then there ain’t nothing to be done here.” The elder interrupted her, his words calm, but blunt.
“But people are going to get hurt if I don’t find a way to deescalate the situation!” She growled in frustration.
​
“Deescalate? What’s there to deescalate? The governess’s ego?” Isaiah shot back dryly. When Evelra looked down at the ground with a flush of embarrassment, the elder sighed and after a moment reached out a hand to pat one of the fists she had clenched in her lap. “Sorry, I guess I’ve just seen too damn much of this shit. I appreciate your concern, but we ain’t gonna budge.”
​
“I… Why?” Was all she could manage to say. Isaiah’s face hardened as his eyes grew distant.
“Because I remember how bad it was back then and I don’t like how close some things are looking to that now.” When Evelra tilted her head to the side in confusion, he took a slow breath and continued. “You study your local history at all?”
​
The marine captain gave an awkward shrug. “A bit. Probably not as much as I should have.”
“You know what the civil rights movement was?”
​
Evelra nodded, thankful she could remember the basics from her officer’s orientation prior to arriving on Earth. “More or less. It was the movement that ended discrimination based on local culture and skin tone. But, wasn’t that resolved almost over thirty, er… fifty local years… ago.” The captain stumbled to a halt as the pieces fell into place in her mind, implications and all.
​
A silence hung in the air for a moment as Evelra struggled to find the will to meet Isaiah’s gaze. “Are we… In your eyes, is the Imperium truly that bad?” She asked with trepidation, bracing for his answer.
​
The elder sighed again, the noise bordering on a tired groan as he slumped slightly. “Honestly? In a lot of ways, no, you’re not. I got a lot of friends who wouldn’t still be here if it weren’t for your doctors. Hell, you big purple ladies are the only reason I can walk right again.” Isaiah admitted, rapping his leg to the sound of a dull metallic thunk. With a start and an even closer look at him, Evelra realized that he was wearing a medical mobility exoskeleton underneath his traditional human formalwear.
​
“However…” Isaiah growled, jolting the captain’s attention back to the conversation at hand. “In some ways you’re worse. Sure, you help, but you never ask first; like you’re a parent talking down to a child. And we ain’t children. There are never any questions about how your big, sweeping changes can be adjusted to better meet our actual needs; just orders, a deadline and whatever ya’ll think is suitable compensation. It’s like living in a cage. Sure, you’ve lined the bars in gold and given it the best padding you can, but that don’t change what it is.”
​
Taking a deep breath, he glowered at her for a moment before continuing.
​
“And now we’re expected to send our sons and daughters to go die in your war? No. I don’t think so. You want us to serve your empire? Then make us a proper part of it, damn it! No token lip service or meaningless ‘advisory positions,’ give us an actual seat at the table and a real say in how things are run around here or this-” Isaiah paused to gesture at the sea of protesters around them. “-is just gonna keep happening!”
​
Evelra opened her mouth to try and say something, but no words came forth. He was right, there wasn’t anything she could do. And yet, she still had to do something. Earth was a part of the Empire, and as such the people here were its citizens, citizens she had sworn to serve and protect.
​
“Look, I’ll-” The marine captain came up short as the helmet clipped to her waist started to buzz with active communications. “Excuse me one moment.” She apologized to the elder as she slipped the piece of armor onto her head. Not bothering to seal it she activated her mike. “Captain Evelra here. Sitrep.”
“Captain, this is Lieutenant Eleynor. Were we expecting reinforcements?” The junior officer’s voice came through with a hint of confusion.
​
Reinforcements? Evelra blinked, her frustration with the unblooded officer’s floundering overridden by her own confusion. “No. I wasn’t informed of anything of the sort. Give me a sitrep Lieutenant.” She commanded again.
“Ma’am. I’ve got three pods of the governess’s private native militia here and a Sergeant… Aleksander with orders from the governess to relieve us.” Eleynor responded quickly, snapping back to that practiced formal military cadence. At her words, Evelra felt a lump of dread form unbidden in her gut.
​
“I have received no such orders Lieutenant. Hold your position.” The Captain barked over the comms before muting her mike and returning her attention to Isaiah. “Apologies, but there’s…” Evelra started to say, only to trail off as the Lieutenant started talking again, seemingly having forgotten to mute herself.
​
“Excuse me Sergeant, but we haven’t received… Wait, what are you…”
​
A sudden dirge of terrified screaming echoed in Evelra’s helmet; both from across the boulevard and through the open comms channel. From down a side street and around the corner of a building where Eleynor’s pod was stationed, she caught sight of a sudden sputtering flare of harsh orange light.
​
“Goddess. No…” The Lieutenant murmured, the stunned whisper barely coming though the headset.
​
“Deep, girl; what the fuck is going on over there!?” Evelra roared, clambering to her feet as she watched a visible wave of panic ripple outwards through the crowd from her subordinate’s position.
​
“They opened fire on the crowd.” She replied numbly.
​
= = =
​
(Part two tomorrow...)

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.

• Mainly gaming. Triple A / New releases at 1440p 60FPS plus would be nice.
• Most demanding games I'd like to play / in backlog includes things like Read Dead 2, Cyberpunk, Jedi Survivor, Last of Us.
• Emulation - RPCS3, Switch etc. would be nice bonus.
• Otherwise, software I use includes:
• VS Code / other IDEs for hobbyist development.
• Virtual Box / other virtualization software for creating labs of multiple Virtual MachinesFusion 360 (Hobbyist)

What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?

• 1500 euro to begin with - can stretch if it makes sense to do so.

When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.

• ASAP

What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)

• GPU, CPU + Cooler, Mobo, RAM, Storage at least for OS as I have drives in a NAS that house my files so don't need to go too crazy on storage to begin with.

Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?

• Ireland, so can purchase from Amazon UK but also EU sites.

If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.

• I have a Corsair 330R ATX Mid Tower I can reuse for this new build, but open to a new case if needed.
• Have a power supply (Corsair CP-9020061-UK Builder Series CXM750, 750Watt) which is approx 8 years old - I guess would need a new power supply but opinions welcome.

Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?

• No

Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)

• Would like to be able to comfortably run 3 + Virtual Machines when doing homelab stuff - so a good core count and memory I guess will be important.

Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?

• If someone recommends a new case, smaller the better I guess - aesthetics not important.

Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?

• I have a Windows 10 licence on my current workstation so I'll carry that over.

Extra info or particulars:

• No

Harold Token - The Community-Driven Crypto with Pain Relief Rewards!
🌟 Alleviate crypto space challenges
🚀 Empower holders with exciting rewards
💰 Tokenomics: 8% tax (4% rewards + 4% marketing)
💼 Supply: 1,000,000,000 $HAROLD
🚀 Launch on BSC
🔒 Verified contract
🚫 No private or presale
💎 Rewards in BNB
⚖️ Max Wallet 1%
Join us now and be part of the movement. Let's create a thriving community together! #HaroldToken
https://linktr.ee/subway89

Harold Token - The Community-Driven Crypto with Pain Relief Rewards!
🌟 Alleviate crypto space challenges
🚀 Empower holders with exciting rewards
💰 Tokenomics: 8% tax (4% rewards + 4% marketing)
💼 Supply: 1,000,000,000 $HAROLD
🚀 Launch on BSC
🔒 Verified contract
🚫 No private or presale
💎 Rewards in BNB
⚖️ Max Wallet 1%
Join us now and be part of the movement. Let's create a thriving community together! #HaroldToken
https://linktr.ee/subway89

Harold Token - The Community-Driven Crypto with Pain Relief Rewards!
🌟 Alleviate crypto space challenges
🚀 Empower holders with exciting rewards
💰 Tokenomics: 8% tax (4% rewards + 4% marketing)
💼 Supply: 1,000,000,000 $HAROLD
🚀 Launch on BSC
🔒 Verified contract
🚫 No private or presale
💎 Rewards in BNB
⚖️ Max Wallet 1%
Join us now and be part of the movement. Let's create a thriving community together! #HaroldToken
https://linktr.ee/subway89

Harold Token - The Community-Driven Crypto with Pain Relief Rewards!
🌟 Alleviate crypto space challenges
🚀 Empower holders with exciting rewards
💰 Tokenomics: 8% tax (4% rewards + 4% marketing)
💼 Supply: 1,000,000,000 $HAROLD
🚀 Launch on BSC
🔒 Verified contract
🚫 No private or presale
💎 Rewards in BNB
⚖️ Max Wallet 1%
Join us now and be part of the movement. Let's create a thriving community together! #HaroldToken
https://linktr.ee/subway89

Harold Token - The Community-Driven Crypto with Pain Relief Rewards!
🌟 Alleviate crypto space challenges
🚀 Empower holders with exciting rewards
💰 Tokenomics: 8% tax (4% rewards + 4% marketing)
💼 Supply: 1,000,000,000 $HAROLD
🚀 Launch on BSC
🔒 Verified contract
🚫 No private or presale
💎 Rewards in BNB
⚖️ Max Wallet 1%
Join us now and be part of the movement. Let's create a thriving community together! #HaroldToken
https://linktr.ee/subway89

Harold Token - The Community-Driven Crypto with Pain Relief Rewards!
🌟 Alleviate crypto space challenges
🚀 Empower holders with exciting rewards
💰 Tokenomics: 8% tax (4% rewards + 4% marketing)
💼 Supply: 1,000,000,000 $HAROLD
🚀 Launch on BSC
🔒 Verified contract
🚫 No private or presale
💎 Rewards in BNB
⚖️ Max Wallet 1%
Join us now and be part of the movement. Let's create a thriving community together! #HaroldToken
https://linktr.ee/subway89

I've been between a sitter, caregiver, and employee in this one facility for a little over a year and a half now. I see things and hear things that would make me want to remove my family from this place. It's owned by a company called Frontier Management for Senior Living. I've never seen anyone that was in actual charge come around here to make things make sense. So they offer two different living options. Assisted living and Memory care. They have residents that need 24-hour care. They need assistance with getting out of bed and getting dressed. I'm talking about everyday tasks, they need help with it all. It's more on the level of they need to be in a nursing home and not a place where they are supposed to be able to live independently.
Every time I come on shift, there is someone under isolation, the staff has been suspended or someone got fired for something so stupid. Recently, parts of the building took on a lot of water damage and several rooms were evacuated. That was weeks ago and they just recently started pulling carpet from rooms that were damaged. However, the office area that took on the water was repaired within the week.
Now we get down to cleaning... It's all surface cleaning. The staff will come and grab the trash and maybe spray Lysol on something if there is a resident in isolation but other than that, they don't even own cleaning products. Things like bleach, Pine-Sol, or any Eco Lab products are not in the building at all. I've worked in housekeeping in a hospital setting for years. My cart was full of supplies and stayed organized. The one here looks like it's collecting dust and rarely used.
The issues have been reported to the director but since shes getting paid well, she won't take care of them because it hurts her bottom line which hurts her bonus. Meanwhile, the residents and staff are going without daily and it's something that should be flagged with the state of Texas so that the behavior and neglect can stop.

I'm putting together parts to build my first pc. I do spend a lot of time gaming leisurely, but I want this build to also be a capable workstation. I was able to buy some of these parts used from a friend. Let me know how I should complete the build, or if i should change anything. As long as I'm not grossly overspending for marginal improvements in performance, price isn't an issue.
GPU: MSI GAMING TRIO GeForce RTX 4090 24 GB Video Card
(Not the X trio) if anyone can tell me the difference, it would be much appreciated.
Power supply: MSI A1000G PCIE5 1000 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply
Storage: MSI SPATIUM M480 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive
CPU Cooler: MSI MAG CORELIQUID 360R V2 78.73 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler
That's all I have.
Any input is appreciated

Wasting this space here so people don't accidentally see my question. Ghosts are cool. I like lamps. I like pears, they are rather refreshing.
Anyway, I know there is a lot of speculation about Van right now and I noticed a couple of interesting scenes. When they all arrive at Lotties compound and are picking therapies, both Van and Misty both pick foraging at the same time and say it out loud, which means Lottie decides who gets it and chooses Van. We see all the women part take in thier therapies but I can't recall seeing Van.....
And then there is the scene where she throws Shauna's keys, trapping Shauna. Regardless if Van felt that "something" was going on, it was a b**ch move to do that when Shauna was obviously sad/scared and expressed a need to leave and be with her family.
AND then of course the major "yeah I cancelled the psych team" which pretty much resulted in Nat's death.
Did Van and Lottie plan something during her therapy session? Did Van open up about her illness and to survice she feels someone else needs to die, thus yet again following Lottie's orders?
Do you guys like pears too? Honestly on a hot day they are heavenly
Edited typos

Okay, so I'm making my first ever build myself. I used PC Part Picker to make sure everything was compatible and to get an estimated power draw to get the right power supply. Here is a link to my build: https://pcpartpicker.com/list/fgwyGL
Now here is the problem. I have almost everything connected except for a part on the motherboard which is a Z790 Aorus Elite AX ATX. The place in question is labeled as ATX 12V 2x4 and there are two of them right next to each other on the board. I used a PCIe cable that has one end that plugs into the power supply and two 8 pins (6+2) totalling to 16 pins. The count adds up perfectly however, the PCIe cable is having trouble plugging in. Specifically the part that is two free hanging for both groups of 8. The machine was plugged in and tested for voltage to make sure it was getting power and it showed power everywhere it should. When pressing the power button I can hear a noise like it's trying to power on, but then nothing happens. None of the LEDs come on or anything. Tested with a screen as well as headphones plugged in to try and see if it made one of those error beep patterns and nothing. Is it just that free hanging two pin connection that is causing it or am I missing something?

Eye of Greed pathway:
· This pathway has levels of authority over gambling, festivities, transactions, madness, and fate.
· The Mythical Creature Form for this pathway is a crow with tinges of green in its feathers. The crow has only one eye socket in the middle of its forehead, and it is empty. In the crow’s claws is an eye. The eye is golden in colour and seems to have limitless pupils that are constantly flitting, as if searching for something.
· Honorific title:
Purveyor of Exchanges
Creator of All Games
The Lord of Revel
· Controlling organisations:
Kashlaan Casino
The Revellers of L’batu Rah
· Notable Eye of Greed Pathway Beyonders:
Arkamenes II (The Divine Croupier) (Sequence 1 – Uniqueness and a single Sequence 1 characteristic)
L’batu Rah (Madness of Beyond) (Sequence 1 – Two Sequence 1 characteristics)
· High sequence group:
-Wall
-Eye of Greed
-Chronos
Above the sequence – Encompassing Sin
Sefirot – Shade Omen
Low sequence:
Sequence 9 - Mathematician:
· Beyonder is incredibly proficient with numbers and mathematics particularly when it comes to games i.e. card counting.
Sequence 8 - Bettor:
· Bet - Beyonder can place a bet on anything (essentially against the universe). The more likely the thing is to happen the lower the reward. The only things that can be betted are lifespan and knowledge, this makes betting less varied than the wager ability of sequence 6. However, betting is a lot simpler as there are no requirements that have to be met before a bet can be placed. Something that can be seen as a downside of this Beyonder power is its ability to win knowledge. This may seem like a pro, however, if one accidentally receives knowledge of things that they should not know i.e. the existences of certain high-level beings, then there may be extremely grave consequences.
· The Beyonder gains an affinity for all games, becoming exceptionally skilled in whatever game they choose to play (this affinity will increase as the Beyonder progresses through the sequences).
Mid sequence:
Sequence 7 - Intoxicator:
· Intoxication – Through touch the Beyonder can intoxicate someone. Intoxication involves putting someone in a state similar to being extremely drunk. The Beyonder can vary the effects of this drunkenness and if they have been on the receiving end of other recreational substances, they can also replicate those effects in the intoxication.
· The Beyonder gains a certain level of resistance to all forms of intoxication, i.e. drugs and alcohol etc. (this resistance will increase as the Beyonder progresses through the sequences).
Sequence 6 - Gambler:
· Wager – Beyonder can gamble anything with anyone although the other person must agree to the wager. Some examples of things that can be wagered are Beyonder abilities, items, and emotions. Neither person can steal back what has been gambled away lest they want to suffer the consequences. What has been won can be given back to the loser if the winner so chooses. Wagering is different to betting because as I said before betting is essentially against the universe while wagering is against another person.
· The Beyonder gains a resistance to being tricked into wagers and bets that would be generally detrimental to them.
Sequence 5 - Smiling Puppeteer:
· This sequence basically adds another layer to intoxication. After intoxicating someone they can urge them to do certain things and after killing someone under the effects of intoxication a Smiling Puppeteer can summon them as a smiling ghost. These ghosts can be used in a variety of ways, both to distract and confuse an opponent. The Beyonder can disguise himself to look like one of these ghosts but cannot become incorporeal like they are. If the Beyonder wants to they can see through the eyes of one of their smiling ghosts and control it as if its body was the Beyonder’s own. The smiling ghosts cannot directly damage an opponent although they can use wager upon touching them (this only works if the Beyonder is currently possessing the ghost). At this sequence, a Smiling Puppeteer can only control 5 smiling ghosts and at a distance of 300 metres. Upon full digestion of the potion the Beyonder can control 10 smiling ghosts and the range increases to 500 metres.
· Ritual: Drink the potion during festivities that arouse emotion in all who are present.
High sequence (Demigod):
Saint:
Sequence 4 - Game Master:
· Game Creation - Beyonder can create a game domain. A game domain at sequence 4 covers an area with a radius of 100 metres although the Game Master can make this area smaller. The game created effects only the people in the area that the Game Master chooses. The parameters of the game are decided by the Beyonder and can be pretty much anything. No one can leave the area of the game domain until the game is over (unless they are two sequences higher than the Game Master). The Game Master has the advantage of knowing the game the best although he/she has no other advantages. The loser(s) of the game are completely at the whims of the victor no matter their sequence or abilities.
· The number of smiling ghosts that the Beyonder is able to control has now increased to 50 and the range to 1km. Upon full digestion of the potion the number of possible smiling ghosts is 100 and the range is 1.5km. Smiling ghosts also bring with them an air of revel and excitement, affecting the mental state of everyone around them.
· The Beyonder can now also become incorporeal like their smiling ghosts although this is dependent on the Beyonder’s spirituality and can be ignored by those sufficiently powerful. When the Beyonder becomes incorporeal they look like one of their smiling ghosts.
· Ritual: Force a partial or full mythical creature into a game of chance and win.
Sequence 3 - Servant of Fate:
· Fate Gratification - By predicting the outcome of a certain event correctly the Beyonder can gain a boon from fate. These boons range from something extremely unlikely happening (obviously to the benefit of the Beyonder) to extra lifespan and increased power for a duration of time.
· Fate Gratification is essentially the upgrade of bet.
· The Beyonder can choose their boon although the size of the reward depends on how unlikely the thing they predicted was.
· The Beyonder can now start a wager with someone without their permission if they are not of a higher sequence than them, although they have to be within 100 metres of the Beyonder.
· Even though the Beyonder can start the wager without the other person’s permission, they must still put something up of similar value to what the other person is wagering, but the Beyonder chooses what the other person wagers.
· The events that can be wagered on when not asking for permission are more limited and have to involve a decent amount of chance, although it does not have to be 50/50.
· The Beyonder can also intoxicate someone without touching them below a distance of 100 metres away from them and their smiling ghosts can now intoxicate too although direct contact is required.
· The number of smiling ghosts now available for control is 500 and with full digestion that number increases to 800. The range has also gone from 1.5km to 5km and with full digestion reaches 7.5km.
· Smiling ghosts can now become corporeal and in turn can have an effect on the real world however they are not particularly strong. They can be equipped with any items that the Beyonder owns and can use them in anyway a Beyonder could.
· At this sequence, the smiling ghosts gain some level of sentience, trying their best at any given moment to please their master, although this sentience can be overridden by the Beyonder. Due to this minimal sentience they can start a “forced” wager without being possessed although they can only put up their “life” (if they lose they will cease to exist), however, they are more than happy to do such a thing for their beloved master. The only thing that they can force someone to put up in a wager is their life. This ability is not too overpowered, however, because the smiling ghosts are not very intelligent, often leading them to start wagers where they are at a disadvantage. They also still have to use touch to start a wager.
· Smiling ghosts cannot use bet as that would be pointless (they have no lifespan and very limited knowledge).
· Ritual: Help fate achieve its goal in a matter that involves complete mythical creatures.
Angel:
Sequence 2 - Celebrant:
· Celebration – By celebrating a certain outcome that outcome becomes what originally happened. This ability only works if the celebrated outcome was not a complete impossibility i.e. there had to be a certain amount of chance in causing the original outcome to happen. Celebration also does not work on events that concern Beyonders of higher sequences. Beyonders of the same sequence who the celebration affects retain “their” memories of the original outcome unlike Beyonders of lower sequences who lose all memory of what happened originally, as if the celebrated outcome was the original itself. Celebration requires a mystical dance that every smiling ghost under the Beyonder’s control also takes part in. Celebration also urges all those present to partake in the festivities.
· Smiling ghosts can now change their form to turn their body parts into weapons and other useful objects.
· The number of smiling ghosts that a Celebrant is able to control is without limit and the range is now global, with no corner of the world safe from their incessant (and slightly uncanny) grinning.
· Game Domains now offer a distinct advantage to the Game Master during a game, although it cannot be too powerful. An example of an advantage would be the Game Master being able to occasionally view the opponent’s cards if it were a game of poker per say.
· Ritual: Make a complete mythical creature believe that the outcome of a particular event is different to what “they” had originally believed. The more important the event, the better the ritual’s effects will be.
Archangel:
Sequence 1 - Laughing Angel:
· Beyonder gains a certain level of authority over [Madness]. “They” can increase the [Madness] of another Beyonder and urge them to lose control as well as lower the chances of themselves losing control. Ironically, a Laughing Angel is actually the most stable sequence in this pathway despite it being the embodiment of [Madness]. “They” can also control [Madness] as a concept. In essence “they” can bestow a state of [Madness] onto anything they choose. Through this “they” can make the natural order of things more chaotic. An example of this would be urging the particles of an object into a state of chaos and turning the object from a liquid into a gas. Another more conceptual use of this authority would be bestowing [Madness] onto the hierarchy of a forest eco-system, making it so that the prey now hunts the hunter.
· One can imagine this authority over [Madness] as the evolution of intoxication.
· The radius of a game domain has increased to 15km and with full digestion becomes 20km.
· The distance at which the Beyonder can intoxicate someone has become 1km. At full digestion, this number becomes 2km.
· The distance at which the Beyonder can start a wager has also increased to 1km, becoming 2km with full digestion just like intoxication.
· Celebration no longer requires the aforementioned mystical dance.
· Ritual: Force a complete mythical creature to lose control in such a way that a crowd of spectators is amused.
True God:
Sequence 0 – Eye of Greed:
· Greedy Eye – Beyonder is continuously observing every transfer of matter, knowledge etc. happening in the world (this includes the words being spoken in conversations and other conceptual ideas). This means that any gift, wager, purchase, or robbery is always known to “them”. The extension of this ability is the Beyonder being able to claim anything they want that is being transferred at the time when they engage the ability. Because of this ability the Beyonder will never lose anything in a wager, game or bet unless they want to. There are limits to this ability, however, as protection can be placed on things that are being transferred if those involved sense the Greedy Eye. The ability to protect things being transferred of course depends on level.
· Beyonder also gains the ability to transform into the concept of intoxication. Through this they become impervious to all forms of damage except those of the conceptual kind. An example of the power of this ability would be transforming into the concept of intoxication and attaching “oneself” to the water supply of a whole city, become ingrained in each cup of water poured, each plate washed. The reason for using this ability in such a way would be to (for example) affect the mental state of everyone in the aforementioned city. On a smaller scale the Beyonder can also attach themselves to a single life form, being able to affect the mental state of that lifeform completely, although not the extent that a high-sequence Beyonder of the Spectator pathway would be able to.
· The distance for intoxication has not increased.
· The distance for wager has not increased.
· No change has been made to game domain.
· No change has been made to fate gratification.
Ritual: Take the wealth of an entire planet for yourself.

I (27M) have a rather strained relationship with my parents (48F and 56M) that I can’t quite seem to get over. So, before anyone asks, yes, I have gone to therapy and have been going for the better part of 5 years, off and on, with a more consistent track record for the last 2 years.
I do apologize if I bounce around here. I write fantasy novels, not autobiographies, lol.
First, let me explain that I am the second oldest of 4 sons from my mother, and the middle of 7 sons, counting all my father's children. So, the core 4 (Me and my mother's sons) will be the most referred to throughout this. I love my other brothers, but one was born and raised in Germany (My father was a soldier), one was an affair child (My father just sorta cast him to the side for a good portion of our childhood, though we saw him frequently as kids <12yo) and the final is 6 (he just didn't exist until I was an adult).
As a kid, I always recognized I was a bit different from my brothers, (2 years older, 5 years younger, and 7 years younger). They were much more into sports and playing outside, and while I did participate in sports, I never found the same love for them as they did. I played soccer and swam competitively, while my brothers were all football studs in their respective positions. All would go on to get some form of scholarship to play in college, though none would follow through, or failed to complete their programs. Despite this, I love my brothers dearly, but I realized I was treated a bit differently than them.
My dad was the coach of my younger brothers’ peewee teams and was consistently in attendance at my older brothers’ games in high school. He paid for special camps, summer training, and the whole shebang. Meanwhile, I seem to hardly remember him in the crowd at a lot of my athletic functions unless there were several of us involved (when I swam, my younger brothers were on the same team as me).
My preferred field was that of creativity. As stated above, I write fantasy novels and enjoy bringing my imagination to life. Now, anyone else like this knows that your creativity isn't much of a light switch, but rather a faucet. I can't turn it on and off, the best I can do is dial it back a little while, though, the pressure will build, and I'll explode if I can't get it out of me after a while.
Now imagine being an 8-year-old boy with this massive level of imagination, what happens to them? That's right, medication. I was supplied a healthy dose of Concerta (children's Adderall essentially) from age 8 until 16 as a way to help me "concentrate" in school, which I have always felt was a copout to make me more docile and easier to handle. Most people are familiar with the effects, turning you into a zombie, loss of appetite, lack of interest in most things, etc., etc. What most people don't realize, is that form of drug turns off your imagination altogether. I contested the drug as often as I could, but the argument always went to my grades being subpar when I was off it, and my behavior worsens. Mind you, my kind of trouble was more of mischievousness than actual behavior issues. I respected adults and treated everyone well, even if I didn't like them. That never seemed to be a good enough answer, though, and I was continuously fed it until I began my senior year of high school.
As I said, I love my imagination, and only figured out how to make it constructive after I left to join the military at 17 out of high school. By then, I was severely underweight and never figured out how to form normal relationships since I had no genuine interest in them on the drug, and didn't have a good example of one at home to mimic.
My dad didn't have much of a father, and he joined the military and served a long and prosperous career in the army. Unfortunately, that meant he learned fathering techniques from the military, which we all know is not good. Eventually, my parents split soon after my dad retired in the southwest US. I think I was 12, and I remember having a wave of relief wash over me when they announced it. They were destructive with each other and the police were involved once or twice. My dad never hit my mother, but their arguments became explosive on those occasions and neighbors or my mother called. Both cheated, both hated, and both stayed with one another "for the sake of the kids." I can still vividly remember myself crying at 9 yo hearing them fighting in the middle of the night and my older brother coming into my room to comfort for me. He was my first best friend, and first heartbreak. Once they split, all my brothers chose to go stay with my mom and I chose to stay with my dad, out of sheer pity. Overnight, our once bustling 5-bedroom home became a quiet nightmare. It was just him and I for a long time after.
Once they moved out to my mom's apartment, I noticed a deep and awful shift in my mom. Her love had become toxic. She treated us like 5-year-olds again, and not like we were dumb, but like we were her little sweetie pies and nothing could ever happen to us. My brother had started down a long dark path of drugs and gangs at around 14 yo and my mom protected him from the harshness that he needed. She unintentionally fed his issues by pretending that he'll just spring back on his own. I remember the day he got kicked out from my dad's at around 16, I was so hurt. He was my first friend, and I couldn't even recognize him anymore. And it was, without misplaced anger, entirely my mother's fault. She allowed him to become this animal that would run out into the streets, get high, commit crimes, give him a warm place to be, and treat him like the little baby she knew so many years ago. It was disgusting to me. I would always turn away when she would offer me the same treatment. She would go on to blame my father and tell me "You're just like your father" I resented that statement so much. It crushed me every time I heard it. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her anything. She was the woman that birthed me, after all.
Eventually, she began to deteriorate. She went from being the gleaming example of a woman, who once coached my peewee soccer team to an undefeated season, into a horrible blob of a toxic love pit. I became so ashamed of her. I would avoid taking friends, the very few I had, to meet her out of embarrassment. I loved her, but I hated her too, if that made sense.
My dad wasn't much better. He would begin to date again and got heavily involved in a community Christian church. I didn't mind, they had a youth group on Wednesday nights, and it was a chance for me to leave the house since he monitored my activities so heavily. I wasn't allowed to do much under the guise of "poor grades," but I think my dad was afraid I would end up like my brother, who I was nothing like at that point. But he would date and sometimes be out of the house all day or night. I remember very well, for about a week or so, I would only see my dad when he woke me up for school, but never again for the rest of the day. So, for long stretches of time, I would be at home by myself, just sitting there, missing my brothers. I would sometimes pretend they were still there and have fake arguments and watch the shows that they liked, and I hated, to make me feel like they were still around. I'm crying again now, just thinking about those lonely days.
He was a terrible disciplinarian by that point. I was in charge of almost every chore around the house, considering I was the only one living there. It was very hard. I would miss some specs on the floor, or not put all the dishes back on, he would come down on me, hard like a drill sergeant. No, even my DS in basic training were more forgiving it seemed. He was critical of everything I did, it felt. Even my humor would earn me long hard scathing lectures. Like I could do nothing correctly, and if that weren't enough, he would embarrass me at every possible chance. I remember he caught me doing something that 15-year-old boys do when it’s 2 am and there’s internet access. He went and told the who church of his discovery, including the parents of the girl I liked, right in front of me. I would cry often, and started wetting the bed again at 16. Thank god he never found out. I just washed my sheets often. I couldn't tell my mom since she was looking for every ounce of ammo she could find to force custody of me. Well, they both did. They'd often interrogate me about the other's deeds during my time with them, looking for something. Eventually, I caught on after realizing they would argue about things I would talk about, so I stopped telling them things altogether and would never really let them back into my emotions, even as a grown man. I felt like a little tortured animal by the time I finally got out of the house.
I was free, but my ability to bond and form relationships was severely impacted. I couldn't make friends easily and would panic whenever I had intimate moments with girls. I just didn’t know what to do. I was so immature for my age. at 18, I was still pretty much a 13-year-old. Thankfully, the army doesn't give you a choice in friendships and will basically force you through trauma bonding and close quarters. I ended up making great friends and began to catch up on my lost time. They taught me so much, and I am still close to them, even if separated by great distances. A couple of them saw me for who I was, accepted me, and adopted me as their immature kid brother. For them, I'm forever thankful.
As I grew, my relationships with my parents changed as well. I still loved them. But as friends. I knew my heart and emotions weren't safe with them. My mom was still a toxic pit and my dad finally began to soften after he remarried. He wasn't quite as cruel with my stepsiblings. He took the role of father but vehemently declined the role of dad as often as possible. He's known them since they were just 4 and 6 and just recently watched the oldest graduate. He would complain about their misdeeds with me, and I would reassure him that they seemed like normal growing pains for kids. He would disregard and often throw the phrase "Then let your dad handle it" when dealing with their problems. I remember a couple of years ago trying to talk to him about this and how he had the opportunity to be a positive influence and be someone important to them. That THEY didn't really get a choice in him and how he could be such a good dad. Our talk went about as far as you'd think and ended with me in tears. He never saw the light, which hurt me greatly for them.
I have done my best to keep my emotional distance from them even when I came to visit, I lived about 3 hours from their city. Even when visiting, I would have to keep it a secret from the other or they would get butt hurt that I didn't go to see them. I usually just didn't have time to see them both and all my brothers. But they would try to guilt-trip me all the same. My dad was much better off than my mom, so I would usually stay with him since I knew he had a spare room for me. But my choice was purely economical, my mom's apartments were always so cramped and I didn’t want to add to the issue of space, so I would lie to her and say I've got a hotel or that I was staying at a girl’s house.
Recently though. My girlfriend and I have come close to the topic of marriage, and I want to mend my relationships with them. I can't imagine them coming to the wedding and me not feeling any actual emotion as I dance with my mom, or as I listen to my dad's speech. I just don't want to live like this. I've tried just about everything to rebuild, but therapy only goes so far. I need an unorthodox approach. Though I'm not opposed to just not having either of them included and have considered just running away and cutting all contact, but I know my brothers would just relay messages, and I don't want to make this their problem. I think this may be a part of some of the skills I never learned growing up. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all in advance. I'm just very lost here.
​
**TL;DR;** : Parents were emotionally abusive growing up and even with therapy, I can't seem to find that happy loving relationship with them that I see others have.

Tried to be as fair as possible with prices, feel free to make an offer.
ITX MacPro Styled SFF PC $1k + Shipping
https://imgur.com/lo5g9gx https://imgur.com/3DKiYFC https://imgur.com/ESrCOqV
Most parts on this build are brand new, all except GPU.
i5 12400f 6 Cores - 12 Threads
Asus Prime H610I Motherboard
ID Cooling IS55 LP CPU Cooler White
1tb WD Blue SN570 NVME Drive
MSI RTX 3060 Gaming X Graphics Card 12gb
16gb 2*8 DDR4 3200Mhz Oloy Blade White
2x Thermalright White Fans
Corsair SF600 Platinum Power Supply
PCIE 4.0 Riser Cable
MacPro Style ITX 7L Case
Bluetooth 5.2
Windows 11 Pro Activated
​
Galaxy Tab S8+ $600 Shipped
https://imgur.com/hTgUQ1c https://imgur.com/YDdV0TJ https://imgur.com/dLdqkMn
In excellent conditions. Comes with S Pen and keyboard. Includes additional ptu black case, and non reflective paperlike screen protector (one installed, one extra).

PCPartPicker Part List

Type	Item	Price
CPU	Intel Core i9-13900KS 3 GHz 24-Core Processor	$1000.62 @ Vuugo
CPU Cooler	ARCTIC Liquid Freezer II 360 A-RGB 48.8 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler	$352.00 @ Amazon Canada
Motherboard	Asus ROG MAXIMUS Z790 HERO ATX LGA1700 Motherboard	$822.50 @ Vuugo
Memory	G.Skill Trident Z5 RGB 64 GB (2 x 32 GB) DDR5-6400 CL32 Memory	$369.97 @ Newegg Canada
Storage	Samsung 990 Pro 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 4.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	$324.97 @ Newegg Canada
Video Card	MSI SUPRIM LIQUID X GeForce RTX 4090 24 GB Video Card	$2499.98 @ Amazon Canada
Case	Corsair 5000D AIRFLOW ATX Mid Tower Case	$179.98 @ Amazon Canada
Power Supply	SeaSonic VERTEX GX-1200 1200 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply	$389.99 @ Memory Express
Operating System	Microsoft Windows 11 Pro OEM - DVD 64-bit	$140.37 @ Amazon Canada
Case Fan	Phanteks D30-120 64.3 CFM 120 mm Fan	$64.98 @ Newegg Canada
Case Fan	Phanteks D30-120 Reversed 61.5 CFM 120 mm Fans 3-Pack	$139.98 @ Newegg Canada
Case Fan	Phanteks D30-120 Reversed 61.5 CFM 120 mm Fans 3-Pack	$139.98 @ Newegg Canada
Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
Total	$6425.32
Generated by PCPartPicker 2023-05-28 15:32 EDT-0400

Microplastics, climate denial, contagious skin fungus, warlords, record temperatures, and wheat troubles. This is starting to get serious.
Last Week in Collapse: May 21-27, 2023
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter bringing together some of the most important, timely, useful, depressing, ironic, amazing, or otherwise must-see moments in Collapse.
This is the 73rd newsletter. Sorry it’s a bit later than usual. You can find the May 14-20 edition here if you missed it last week. These newsletters are also on Substack if you want them sent to your email inbox every Sunday.
——————————
Climate and soil scientists are warning that Europe’s soil won’t be able to absorb as much water now, after a season of terrible drought. The feedback loops spell disaster for the continent’s ability to weather the coming drought. France has given up aiming for just a 1.5 °C temperature increase, and are preparing for 4 °C rise by 2100. Scientists claim we are heading for total disaster, but the rest of the world apparently has bigger problems.
The world is allegedly on track for 2.7 °C of warming, and some experts predict that about one billion humans may be forced to migrate as a result of global warming, sea level rise, etc. Iraq is one such location, and countless migrants have already fled. On Twitter, climate scientists report seeing more hostility and climate denial.
Category 5 Typhoon Mawar blasted Guam, and took out electricity, but no humans were killed on the island. In Somalia, over one million people were displaced by drought within the last 4 months.
A ship’s draft/draught) is the distance between its waterline and the bottom of its keel/hull. This determines a ship’s displacement; the heavier a ship’s cargo, the greater its draft will be. The Panama Canal is reducing the allowed vessel draft because they didn’t receive enough rain in the last few months and cannot fully fill the Canal’s locks. As a result, more ships will be forced to make the long journey around Cape Horn—or load up with less cargo to transit the Canal. The supply chain feedback loops are compounding.
Chad saw its highest May temperature last week—47 °C (117 °F), and part of Samoa tied a new May temperature too—34.8 °C (101 °F) . New record temperatures in Southeast Asia again. The ocean around the Cayman Islands has hit 30 °C earlier than any previous year. The average sea surface temperature has been breaking daily records for every day for over two months.
Experts are warning that a heat wave would devastate Phoenix, Arizona, if it knocked out the power grid. Up to 800,000 people (half the population) would allegedly require emergency medical attention for heat stroke, etc. The study concluded that about 12,800 people would die as a result.
Although most of the world is warming, the upper atmosphere is cooling down, forcing scientists and generals to consider its potential impact on satellites and on our sensitive weather patterns. Temperatures beyond roughly 50km out in the atmosphere have been cooled by CO2 levels. Concrete implications from the study are unclear.
About 5,000 Congolese are still missing weeks after catastrophic flooding. Wildfire risk is increasing in Sweden. Heat wave alerts in Sri Lanka.
A study has claimed—again—that species are going extinct even faster than expected. About half of surveyed species have seen population declines recently (especially in the tropics), while 49% are holding relatively steady.
One species at risk of dieoff is the black sea urchin off the coast of Israel—and their dieoff hold grim implications for the health of coral in the Red Sea.
Tick season has begun, and researchers are worried that they can transfer prions from white-tailed deer to humans. Chronic wasting disease has not yet afflicted humans, though it exists in growing quantities among Canadian cervids.
——————————
The danger from fungi is growing as a result of climate change, and the rise of Candida Auris—and a resistant, contagious skin fungus coming out of India—in the U.S. is alarming epidemiologists. The combination of compromised immune systems (from COVID, increased diabetes), climate change, distrust of health entities, health insurance problems, and healthcare worker collapse are creating a terrible convergence of circumstances.
Over 5,000 new species have been discovered in the ocean between Hawai’i and Mexico—and in two months, applications will be accepted to begin deep-sea mining extraction operations in the region. Meanwhile, Shell shareholders rejected attempts to accept new emissions targets, 80% to 20%.
German police are looking into classifying “Last Generation” climate activists as part of a criminal group, amid raids targeting the traffic-stopping activists.
Greenpeace claims that recycled plastic can be more toxic than first-use plastic—but don’t worry, only 9% of plastic is recycled worldwide. A study from Hazardous Materials Advances concluded that recycling plastics produces large amounts of microplastics which later contaminate our land, water, and even air.
The U.S. Supreme Court limited the scope of the Clean Water Act, to exclude certain types of wetlands. This opens up some wetlands to nearby development and pollution.
Some Kansas wheat farmers suffered so much drought and cold snaps that they are abandoning their crops. Across the country, one third of winter-wheat acres are being abandoned, the highest percent in over 100 years. Utah’s Great Salt Lake is drying up, and strong winds are blowing dust, sometimes containing heavy metals.
Locusts in Afghanistan are threatening the coming wheat harvests in an already famine-stricken land. Argentina will face a similar problem if they don’t get rain within a few weeks.
——————————
South Africa is suffering from 33% unemployment and devastating, 10-hour load-shedding (routine power outages) every day. A senior politician is warning that the crumbling nation could become a failed state soon. Power grid troubles are expected to escalate later this winter, by August.
A teenage girl in Guyana set fire to her dorm and unintentionally killed 19 people—because her cell phone was confiscated. What will society do when their water and human rights are confiscated?
Russia is supposedly considering an export ban on gasoline, in an attempt to better control supply & prices within its own territory. Qatar warned Europe that they haven’t seen the worst of the petrol/energy crisis yet.
Global demand for goods is reportedly sinking, and the production of shipping containers is down. More and more Americans are struggling to pay bills as inflation rises. Germany is officially in recession now. South Africa’s interest rates are at a 14-year high.
Some experts are concerned that China may overtake the U.S. with AI development. Others are concerned about the implications of an AI future dominated by the United States. Experts are calling for regulation of AI before it destroys humans.
Cambodia’s ruling party is keeping the opposition party off the ballots in this July’s elections.
The ceasefire in Khartoum is largely holding, but sporadic violence by fighters threatens the fragile “peace” in the city. Once a War “begins,” what role do the civilians have in re-instituting peace—or keeping the conflict going?
The head of the Wagner Group is warning of revolution in Russia, a portent that may also be a threat. The mercenary group is currently handing over Bakhmut to the Russian Army, and claims that about 20,000 Wagner soldiers died taking the city. Meanwhile, a pro-Ukrainian group of ethnic-Russian soldiers made attacks inside Russian territory, and soon withdrew back into Ukraine.
Russia’s former President and PM claimed that this War could last for decades. Yet certain unspecified NATO member states will give F-16 fighter jets to Ukraine, and train about 20 Ukrainian pilots, in an effort to force an earlier conclusion. Yet their impact may not be decisive on the battlefield.
Seven U.S. states agreed on a three-year water-sharing compromise over the Colorado River’s water; whether the pact will hold when the Dust Bowl 2.0 begins is up in the air. Meanwhile, troops from Afghanistan and Iran exchanged machine gun fire and some mortars, over water rights in the Helmand River.
——————————
Things to watch for next week include:
↠ It’s that time of the year again. American politicians posture over raising the debt ceiling, a massive political/economic struggle that usually ends with a last-minute compromise or a short government shutdown. The U.S. is set to default on its debt on June 1st, which would damage trust and cause market bedlam. What’s it gonna be this time?
↠ Uruguay’s capital, Montevideo, is rapidly running out of water. The city’s main reservoir only had 10 days left of water—5 days ago. So the city’s supply is set to be exhausted by next Friday. How will the government react—and what will the people do? This might be a signal of what lies ahead for the rest of us.
Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-China will be getting 65M COVID cases—every week—if you believe the claims made in this thread and its sources, which include the Chinese government. The world’s second-most-populous nation, once the last bastion against COVID, has resigned to letting rolling waves of coronavirus repeatedly infect the masses. So it goes.
-Some rich countries will fare very poorly in Collapse, judging by the comments on this thread. Do you see your nation among them?
-Climate change may be worse than you think, says a thread and its comments. Even some doomers will be taken aback by the speed and scale of the damage ahead. What are you doing to prepare?
Have any feedback, questions, comments, resources, Collapse tattoos, recipes, aches or pains, spam mail, etc.? Consider joining the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you don’t want to check collapse every Sunday, you can get this newsletter sent to your email inbox every weekend. I always forget something... What did I miss this week?

Build Help/Ready:

Intended use for this build is 4k gaming, with occasional streaming. This is my second time building a PC, this time helping a friend, so I'm pretty inexperienced. Budget is ~$2k USD, building in the US. Comparing PSUs, MBs, GPU vendors, and coolers are probably the most confusing parts for me. I've checked the dimensions of the cooler and the GPU, and supposedly there are no compatibility issues. We also have a spare HDD and SATA SSD from their previous, quite old PC that went kaput, which we plan to attach.
PCPartPicker Part List

Type	Item	Price
CPU	Intel Core i7-13700K 3.4 GHz 16-Core Processor	$409.99 @ Newegg
CPU Cooler	be quiet! Dark Rock Pro 4 50.5 CFM CPU Cooler	$89.90 @ Amazon
Motherboard	MSI PRO Z790-P WIFI ATX LGA1700 Motherboard	$199.99 @ B&H
Memory	TEAMGROUP T-Force Vulcan 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-5600 CL32 Memory	$84.99 @ Newegg
Storage	Intel 660p 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive	$196.95 @ Amazon
Video Card	PowerColor Red Devil OC Radeon RX 6950 XT 16 GB Video Card	$629.99 @ Amazon
Case	Phanteks Enthoo 719 ATX Full Tower Case	$199.99 @ Newegg
Power Supply	EVGA SuperNOVA 850 G6 850 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply	$159.99 @ Amazon
	Prices include shipping, taxes, rebates, and discounts
	Total (before mail-in rebates)	$1991.79
	Mail-in rebates	-$20.00
	Total	$1971.79
	Generated by PCPartPicker 2023-05-28 16:55 EDT-0400