Hi! On Canada day, I’ll most likely be dressed as a big inflatable frog handing out balloons and scratch paper! I might want someone else with me for that? It’ll be possible to do that in the suit? But difficult🤣 Also might be nice for like pictures (anyone with a phone is fine for that). I’ll be up on the Bow River pathways cause that doesn’t seem to bother people. I ask that you’re a little fit as I typically cover 10-15 km over 6 hours! Anyone interested, message me please!

Welcome to all GMs and AGMs to this years' edition of the /hockey annual offseason sim!

Spreadsheets

I will be personally editing all the spreadsheets, keeping them updated throughout the sim and they can all be found on the sidebar as well as in the chat channel.

• Rosters
  
• General (Draft, RFA/UFA Lists, Trades, Depth Charts)
  

Please message sandman730 if anything is incorrect or you wish to make changes on your roster sheet.

Tentative Sim Schedule

Mon. June 12th - Sim Discord Invites
Thu. June 15th - Sim Begins and Rosters Frozen (2pm ET)
Sun. June 18th - Deadline for GMs to Submit Plans (2pm ET)
Mon. June 19th - Trade Period Begins (2pm ET) (Provided GMs have an Approved Plan)
Mon. June 19th - Buyout Period Begins (2pm ET)
Thu. June 22nd - Deadline to Submit Trades Involving Players/Prospects for the NHL Draft (8pm ET)
Fri. June 23rd - NHL Draft Rounds 1-3 (8pm ET)
Sat. June 24th - NHL Draft Rounds 4-7 (2pm ET) (No Trades Allowed)
Sat. June 24th - Last Chance to Place Players on Waivers for a Buyout (2pm ET)
Sun. June 25th - Deadline for Qualifying Offers (5pm ET)
Sun. June 25th - Buyout Period Ends (5pm ET)
Sun. June 25th - Last Chance for Clubs to Sign UFAs to an 8 Year SPC (11:59pm ET)
Mon. June 26th - Free Agency Roster Freeze (12pm ET) (Discussion allowed, but no moves finalized)
Thu. June 29th - Free Agency Begins (12pm ET)
Wed. July 12th - Qualifying Offers Expire (5pm ET)
Thu. August 3rd - Waiver Window Opens (2pm ET)
Fri. August 11th - Last Chance to Place Players on Waivers (2pm ET)
Sat. August 12th - Rosters Due (5pm ET)
Sun. August 13th - End of Sim (Reviewing Rosters/Making Recaps/Etc.)
Google Calendar

CBA

For information about the cap and CBA, read this post and feel free to ask sandman730 any questions.

IRL Moves

Since we are in sim-mode, IRL moves do not apply to the sim, except for five key exceptions:

1. Players retiring (if they retire IRL, they're out of the sim and cannot be signed),
   
2. Player suspensions (ex: Slava Voynov),
   
3. Transactions involving a foreign professional entering NHL,
   
4. An NHL player signing in another league (ex: Liiga),
   
5. Players being placed on long-term injured reserve.
   

Regarding the 3rd point, if the player announces he is officially returning to the NHL or he signs IRL with an NHL team, then he is available to sign. Until then, he cannot be signed.
Coach hirings/firings, AHL contracts, relocation, etc. are not part of this sim.

Keep it Realistic

You can't be perfect since plenty of teams could go many ways. If your team is clearly rebuilding, you should continue to rebuild and help the process.
Try not to acquire guys just for the purpose of flipping them later. We're not outright banning it since it happens IRL sometimes, but it's super uncommon, especially for bigger names. Rebuilding teams rarely take cap dumps to help out other teams in exchange for late round picks. If it is a fair trade, it can still be accepted. There will need to be incentive for teams to acquire cap dumps. Don't include unnecessary pieces or trade picks too far out (trading picks after 2024 will require a compelling reason). Don't trade the rights to retired players.
We are asking each GM for an initial offseason plan. This plan includes basic things like which direction the team is headed this summer, but with slightly more detail such as whether they will hope to pursue more options via trades or free agency, how they will deal with their cap space (or lack thereof), etc. You will not be able to sign or trade anyone until your plans are submitted and approved. If you wish to amend your plan, submit it via mod mail, including your reasoning for the amendment.
[GM Plan Form]()
Throughout free agency, the mod team will reach out to GMs to see if they are changing their plans due to transactions that have taken place in the sim (i.e. missing out on free agents, changes in the trade market, etc.).
THIS NOT FANTASY HOCKEY, DO NOT TREAT THIS AS FANTASY HOCKEY OR NHL 23 BE A GM

Trades

We realize GMs want to be more active than their real-life counterparts but we will be pretty strict on allowing trades in the sim. When you submit a trade or signing, both parties must send the trade in to the office of the commissioner (via mod mail). You also must include a justification as to why the trade makes sense for your party including how it will affect the cap, lineup and future roster decisions. Please use the below template. All players, picks, additional terms, rights to players, and salary retention amounts must be specified and identical in both parties' submissions.
Before making a trade, we encourage you to find multiple comparable trades which will convince us that the trade is realistic. Please do not compare each trade to the Matt Duchene to Ottawa trade and say "Well, it's more realistic than that one".
We will do our best to announce the trades right away as they come in. Do not post pending trades in other threads until they are posted. Please allow us at least 24 hours to approve trades and for graphics to be prepared.
Try not to blow your load, especially on the first day. Be patient, especially with trades. Just try. You'll thank us later. Those who follow this advice usually will find incredible bargains and can take advantage of other GM's mistakes.

Trade Submission Template

We would like teams to use the following template when submitting trades to ensure all relevant information is included.
Team A receives:
Team B receives:
Corresponding moves: (players sent down, called up, or put on waivers; answer "none" if not applicable)
Cap/salary implications:
Goal:
Justification:
Comparables:
Other options pursued:
Long-term implications:
I certify that I own the assets I am trading away; my team remains roster & cap compliant; I have complied with any no-trade lists; etc.

Example

NYR receives: Tyler Motte
WPG receives: 2023 4th Round Pick (WPG)
Corresponding moves: None
Cap/salary implications: The Rangers can take the remainder of Motte's $1,225,000 cap hit.
Goal: The Rangers are looking to add depth for a playoff push. The Canucks are looking to acquire future assets for a player on an expiring contract.
Justification: The Rangers are solidly in a playoff position and are looking to buy at the deadline. Motte can fill a 4th line role.
Comparables: SEA traded Mason Appleton to WPG for a 2023 4th before the 2022 TDL. MTL traded Nick Cousins to VGK for a 2021 4th before the 2020 TDL.
Other options pursued: The Rangers also tried to acquire Derick Brassard and Vladislav Namestnikov, but were unable to make a deal work.
Long-term implications: The Rangers are willing to give up a mid-round pick to add depth now.
I certify that I own the assets I am trading away; my team remains roster & cap compliant; I have complied with any no-trade lists; etc.

No-Trade/No-Movement Clauses

These will be handled by TBD. If you wish to trade a player with a No-Trade or No-Movement Clause, you must message them, requesting a list of teams a player can or cannot be traded to, or if a player would be willing to waive his No-Movement Clause. Please give them at least 24 hours to fulfill such requests.

Trading UFA Rights

We have tried this in the past and some agents felt obligated to have the UFA sign in the city that acquired the players' rights. We feel it would be best if every team gets a fair chance so this year we will NOT be allowing trading for UFA rights. This will also hopefully lead to fewer trades and more UFA signings.
Additionally, we will not allow you to sign and trade UFAs or pending UFAs.

Conditional Picks

You cannot trade picks with conditions, with some exceptions:

• Lottery protection
• Higheloweetc. of multiple picks in a given round
• Settling scenarios based on previous trade conditions

We realize it happens in real life, but it is hard to track from experience and hopefully it will cut down on the amount of unnecessary trade conditions.

Unfair Value

To avoid exploitation and chaos in the trade market, we sometimes need to step in to preserve the sim's integrity. This may be somewhat subjective, so the trade committee will discuss and vote on most trades. Your trade will go through more smoothly if you provide ample justification and can offer comparable trades. Some common issues include:

• Undervaluing cap space or salary - Since there is no real money involved in this simulation and no accountability to owners or future cap issues, people can undervalue these assets. Please provide examples of comparable trades.
• Undervaluing future draft picks - Similarly, since there is no accountability within the sim for these assets, unnecessarily adding late draft picks or too high draft picks can be problematic. Again, provide examples of comparable trades.
• Differing opinions on the value of players or prospects - These usually will go through, but may require further explanation.

Vetoes

sandman730, meatb4ll, and TBD are gonna be the “veto panel” and we are gonna take it very seriously. If the vote is unanimous 3-0 either way, then we will accept/reject the trade or signing. If it is 2-1 either way, then we will ask TBD for their opinions and votes. We will then come to a decision with the majority winning. There are a number of reasons why a trade or signing may be vetoed by the trade committee:

• Violates the CBA (ex: puts a team over the contract limit)
• Involves NTCs (i.e., the player would block the trade)
• Puts a team over the cap or roster limit (or under the floor), without them having a clear plan for how to get back under (or over)
• Violates other house rules (ex: trading UFAs)
• Unrealistic (see above)
• Unfair value (see above)
• Goes against their plan (or goes too far all-in on either the present or future)

meatb4ll will communicate veto decisions and discussions.

Entry Draft

Rounds 1-3 of the draft will take place on the chat channel on Fri. June 23rd at 8pm ET. We kindly ask that everyone attends this in the chat since it will go a lot smoother not having to wait for GMs and it is one of the most exciting parts of the sim in terms of trades and activity. This is the one day we hope to have all GMs and AGMs alike participate since we require your cooperation. Draft day trades involving players/prospects must be submitted 24 hours before the start of the draft (Thu. June 22nd at 8pm ET). Trades made during the draft (involving draft picks) must be submitted via DM to the commissioners.
On Sat. June 24th at 2pm ET, we will host Rounds 4-7 for those who would like to participate. It is not mandatory, you will just be auto-picked if you don’t show up. There will not be any trading allowed for this portion of the draft.
If a GM cannot make it either night, you are welcome to appoint an AGM to draft for the team, submit a custom auto-draft list, or respect our auto-draft list (Bob McKenzie, then Future Considerations). Please confirm this via mod mail or (if mid-draft) via DM to the commissioners.
Please make your selections as promptly as possible to ensure the draft runs smoothly for everyone. Do not delay your selection to make a meme/image (you are welcome to post them afterwards). We will allow 2 min per selection for Rounds 1-3 and 1 min for Rounds 4-7. Each team will be allowed a 2 min timeout (one per team). We also will take a brief intermission (~10 min) between rounds.
If you wish to draft players not listed on the Elite Prospects Draft Board, you must petition the commissioners via mod mail before the start of the draft.

Qualifying Offers

GMs will need to submit a list of who they are sending Qualifying Offers to, among RFAs, and who they are letting test free agency (becoming UFAs). We will have a thread for this and they will be due by Sun. June 25th at 5pm ET (don’t pull a Dale Tallon). If you have further questions about this process, read about it in the CBA post and message a commissioner or leave a comment if you have further questions.

Free Agency

We will have 3 RFA agents and 4 UFA agents who have chosen the clients they will represent. Not every RFA/UFA will need an agent and you can find the lists on the spreadsheet, but generally, if the player played 15+ NHL games last season, he will require an agent. For the rest of the RFAs (those marked "Commissioners"), if they were qualified both in the sim and IRL, we will wait until they get an IRL contract and match it in the sim; if they were only qualified in the sim, they will be signed for their qualifying offers. For the rest of the UFAs, message the commissioners (via mod mail) with a contract offer. Please include a justification as to why the signing makes sense for your party including, for GMs, how it will affect the cap, lineup and future roster decisions. Please use the below template.
When both a GM and agent have come to a finalized deal, both sides need to submit the contract offer to the mods (via mod mail).
This contract offer must include the cap hit, term, any no-trade clauses, and any performance bonuses. Please keep it realistic as it could cause a domino effect when using comparables.
There will be the possibility for offer sheets, however, right now we are not sure the best way to determine who the player would actually pick. Ideas are encouraged. That being said, it’s more likely a player would choose a contender, hometown, long contract, good place in the lineup, or high salary rather than just picking at random. We also want to mention how rare offer sheets are in real life.
Agents have been sworn under the Oath of Bettman that they will be honest, realistic, and of course fun.
NHL CBA contract rules apply (more information here). Signing a player in free agency and then trading the player is prohibited.

Signing Submission Template

We would like teams to use the following template when submitting signing to ensure all relevant information is included.
Team:
Player:
Year(s):
AAV:
Other clauses: (NTC/NMC, performance bonuses, etc.; answer "none" if not applicable)
Corresponding moves: (players sent down, called up, or put on waivers; answer "none" if not applicable)
Cap/salary implications:
Goal:
Justification:
Comparables:
Other options pursued:
Long-term implications:
I certify that my team remains roster & cap compliant.

Example

Team: Columbus Blue Jackets
Player: Jack Roslovic
Year(s): 2
AAV: $4,000,000
Other clauses: None
Corresponding moves: None
Cap/salary implications: The Blue Jackets still have ~$22.8M in cap space for 2022-23, which should be sufficient for our needs.
Goal: The Blue Jackets are looking to keep a local player who has played well for the team.
Justification: While Roslovic had an excellent 2020-21 season, he regressed in 2021-22. A short term deal allows him to demonstrate that he can continue to be a valuable player without hamstringing us with a burdensome contract should he underperform.
Comparables: Ryan Spooner signed with NYR for 2yr x $4M in the 2018 offseason. Chris Tierney signed with OTT for 2yr x $3.5M in the 2020 offseason. Ryan Strome signed with NYR for 2yr x $4.5M in the 2020 offseason.
Other options pursued: None, Roslovic was a RFA that we wished to keep.
Long-term implications: While this contract will walk Roslovic to UFA status, we hope that he continues to perform well and we are able to sign a more long-term extension with him once Voracek's contract is off our books.
I certify that my team remains roster & cap compliant.

Extensions

Players with one year remaining on a multi-year contract are also eligible for extensions. We are allowing each team to extend one such player, provided the AAV is over $6M. Message the Commissioners (via mod mail) with a competitive offer, and an explanation for why you want to extend the player.

GM vs Assistant GM

The GM is the one who makes the final decisions and who other GMs should message. You are encouraged to speak to anyone including Assistants, but for trades and updates on where they stand, please contact the GMs. The assistants are here to serve as a second opinion, fill in on things the GM might have made unclear, and ultimately serve as backups in case the GM needs to be replaced, for example on draft day.

Respect

PLAY NICE. If people act like dicks in trade/FA negotiations, particularly in agreeing to something and then going back on their word, PM the admins and we'll take care of it. Repeat offenders will get removed from the sim. Racism, homophobia, and other forms of bigotry will not be tolerated. No politics.
If you have any questions, feel free to comment below or DM any commissioner. If we need to clarify some things, we will do so.

Query Identification: 01098172
Title: [Galaxy phone]
Description: [Screen Power button of the phone is basically dead , and restart requires to hold the volume down button and the power one.Thank you in advance.]
Things I have tried: [.I've been searching online for like the past half hour but it seems this is kinda rare.Tried holding other buttons , installing droidkit but when connected to the pc it does not recognize it.]
Device Name: [A7(2018)]
Device Model Number: [SM-A750FN]
Best regards, [u/DragonDinqja]

Hi everyone, if this feels too long, TLDR is at the bottom . Would appreciate genuine advice.
​

• I (25 M) met her (22 F) at work almost a year ago. We hit it off instantly and would spend lunches together and take walks during our breaks. I asked her out, but our work schedules and location made dating difficult.
• She comes from a conservative family and stays with them, so we couldn't meet even on weekends.
• She stopped talking to me and hanging out because of office gossip regarding us, even though I said that the gossip didn't bother me.
• We then only spoke if it was work related. She quit 3-4 months before me because of personal reasons (and no, the office gossip wasn't the reason).
  
• I stopped talking to her, deleted her number, and unfollowed her on social media after she left.
  
• She suddenly contacted me during my notice period to talk about stuff and office gossip (who joined and who left, etc.). She was busy with interviews and online learning as well.
  
• I guess my feelings were still there, so we started talking, chatting and following each other on social media again. I asked her out again, and we made plans to meet, but work, family, location, and other things always came in the way.
  
• She had even come to shop at a market near my place and had asked me to come and accompany her, but I couldn't meet because of work pressure then.
  
• We had finally agreed to meet after almost a month of chatting and talking, to a place and day of her choosing, but she finally got her new job on the day we were supposed to meet and is now busy with that.
  
• I'm also working at a new place now, but our timings are completely different.
  
• As of now, we barely talk on the phone, and even our messages are brief and we both take hours to respond, whereas we would respond to each other in seconds or minutes before. And as mentioned above, we also stay quite far from each other's place.
  
• She's asked me to come to a nearby location next Friday to meet.
  
• But honestly, I'm tired of the chase and am not interested anymore.
  

​
Should I just stop texting/talking or should I tell her my reasons for not going out?
I could say that our timings don't match, we constantly make plans but cannot follow up due to work, family, or other commitments and I feel its better to not meet and talk or chat anymore.
If I tell her, should I do so on text, voice message, or should I call her?
TLDR -

• I met a girl at work and we hit it off instantly, asked her out, but our work schedule, location, family and office gossip made dating difficult.
• We are working at different places now but due to the above reasons (except office gossip) makes meeting up difficult and I have lost interest in meeting and talking to her.
• Should I just stop texting/talking or should I tell her my reasons for not going out?

Alright I'm not gonna exaggerate and make my fiancee sound like she's legit trying to be a manly man-girl. She does work out, she has some muscles, but not Arnold Schwarzenegger muscles, she likes to wear hoodies when cold, Calvin Klein sports bra/tanktop when hot, and she is taller than me, almost towers my dad. But she has long dark hair, looks beautiful in whatever dress she wears. She is still a lady. And always will be. With that being said, whenever she gets angry Belle becomes Beast. I don't want you guys to think I'm constantly being harrassed or bullied like some soap opera but on occasions there times you come across someone who just feels tearing you down for mo other reason except, they fucking felt like it. I think I may have told this story in comments but here's a recap. Fiancee and I went to the gym, and because I don't exercise that often I just stick treadmill, planks, and spot my girl when she's lifting weights. Anyway, I'm on the treadmill listening to a video when a girl who looked like she just came from a Concentration Camp (no disrespect intended I'm just emphasizing how skinny this girl was if you still have a problem with it let me know and I'll edit it I mean no disrespect) some anorexic chick comes up to the treadmill, leans against it and attempts to make small talk with me. I say hi, trying to be polite as I could even though I couldn't really hear because I had my headphones on. Then I see my girl confronting her, this serious look on her face, the skinny girl backing away like she had a gun infront of her then ran out the building. Apparently the girl was trying to flirt with me and not only is it against the rules at the gym to flirt(applies to guys and girls) but I'm my girl's man. No one should be flirting with me unless they are immune to being bashed in the head lol. So here's another story, this was last year so she was still just my girlfriend before we got engaged so just know I'm mentioning the same significant other. My girlfriend and I are getting ready to get on a plane to Florida, we were going to visit Weeki Waaci (a mermaid water park) then DisneyWorld because it was a rough week, we, or I needed a vacation. We're walking through the airport, once again we're dealing with who should carry the luggage. Most of it is our clothes. The other suitcase has personal stuff like her business laptop, books. And my Cheshire Cat themed bag she got me for my birthday with a couple of notebooks and my phone, charger cord, headphones. This isn't a legit full blown argument but it usually consists of her being, "No, honeybunny, only I should carry the stuff, you just bring your beautiful face"(She would say the loving yet cheesiest shit ever lol) and me going, "Babe it's not for you to carry everything, let me carry something otherwise I feel like an asshole." "Nope. I will not put my little prince through such labor" "Can I at least carry my Cheshire Cat bag. Its light." "Actually hon can you carry the Chesire Cat bag?" "If you insist babygirl." Y'all probably thinking "You're exaggerating because this is the rolereversal subreddit" but I'm not lol. This legit what I experience 24/7 with this goofball. God I love her. Anyway so we arrive at our gate. We have at least one hour before we board so we have time to sit and chill. I am very uneasy on flights so I take an advil and tylenol pill(half of a tylenol because I don't wanna be drowsy) so it'll calm my nerves. My girlfriend grabs me tea from a nearby McDonald's, sit me on her lap, I swallow them down and so we kill an hour snuggling on the seat. "Flight blah blah bloo to Orlando Florida now boarding". We get our stuff ready, girlfriend hands me my ticket, window seat😁, and we get in line. So we're just standing around waiting for our turn, when this dude (I gave him the name, Mr. Obnoxious Cougher)stands next to us and he starts coughing. I understand that we have the vaccine now so the idea of maybe getting stick shouldn't be as risky as it would've been back in 2020. But guys, please understand, we are taught in kindergarten to cover your mouth when your body releases bodily fluids like salvia or snot. Its fucking common curtsey. This 40 something year old is coughing like he's auditioning for "Cough The Musical". He is just doing the complete most. I start distancing myself from him but, and I shit you not, he came closer. "What the hell?" It went from a dude having a genuine respiratory issue to doing it on purpose to be obnoxious. He looks forty but hes standing there with his mouth open, coughing like a two year old. So my girlfriend and I just chatting trying to ignore him. I noticed a dude ahead of us with these sweet look shoes. They were Nikes, black bottom, and metallic top. They looked sick. "Hey do you think you could get me those?" "Yeah babe just remind me later" "Yeah yeah. Damn they look beautiful." Suddenly as if I feel like something had sprayed windex in my direction this guy starts coughing in my face. I was freaking livid. "Yo what the fuck?" "Oh sorry." He was standing little inches away from me and coughing right into my face. I actually began to angry cry(you know when you get so mad tears start falling but you're not necessarily sobbing) a millisecond later my girlfriend rushes at Mr. Cougher and actually pins him to the wall, her arm squeezing his throat. She's shouting loud enough for everyone to hear. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF COW FODDER?!" "S-s-sorry I'm ha-ha-having trouble breath-" "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON YOUR BLOOD! COVER YOUR MOUTH! YOU DON'T COUGH ON NOBODY LIKE SOMR DAMN 2 YEAR OLD!!" I'm just standing there, wiping my face, almost no reaction while everyone else is like😮😲😬😳 "IF YOU EVER DO THAT CRAP AGAIN, YOU BETTER PRAY TO CHRIST YOU'RE NOT ON THE SAME FLIGHT OR I WILL BREAK YOUR NECK!!" She let's him go as his face starting to turn blue then returned to her place in line beside me. But not before giving the dude a nice knee to the crotch sending him down to the floor. Yeah, she does have a real short temper and was once attending anger management classes before she and I met. But she never gets angry at me because I'm the prince in the relationship. That and I'm fairly easy going so we don't have so different of opinions that we'd get into an argument (Yes I'm aware that its healty to have arguments we are our own person, different perspectives and ideas, I'm just saying I'm not the type of person who is eager to convince everyone that their way deserves more of a look into)unless you count the luggage lol. The only time I remember her being actually irritated with me is one time we went shopping and I would constantly let go of her hand just to rile her up. But thats a story for another time. For those who go to airports you know how the separate lines, right, "Now boarding line 1-5, now boarding line 1-5." We're in line 5-9 they now announce our line and we board our plane. My girl has a very successful career so I've only flown first class since having this girl in my life, hell yeah. So we get to our seat, I managed to snatch her carry on bags, and with speed lifted them into the cabinets above our seats before she was able to react. I had a look of triumph on my face as I took my seat near the window, meanwhile she had a slightly annoyed look on her face. Guess I have a lot to learn about being a little prince lol. So we get comfortable, we fasten our seatbelts and await for the plane to fill up. The armtray between our seats is moveable, so my girlfriend lifted it and put her arm around me as she usually does incase there are times I get anxious and need a snuggle. I nuzzled into chest, her arms wrapped around me and whispered, "My hero." since earlier and rewarded my maiden in shining armor with a kiss. The plane fills up and we're basically ready to get this bird across the runway. Until we see a stewardess and a familiar face beside her, its Mr. Obnoxious Cougher. "Attention passengers, our flight is full and we're look for volunteers who would willingly give up their seats and be bumped for a later flight for 200 dollars" Ironic enough we were flying American Airlines. If this was Spirits I'd wind up like that doctor. No one moved. In general my girlfriend and I wouldn't be the first people to give up seats because why ruin our trip because of someone else's problems. But because of what happened earlier with this person, there was no pity in my eyes. I was just chilling, enjoying snuggling with my girlfriend, but something told me that she was looking at the dude with fire in her eyes. It was unanimous that no one was moving so the stewardess had to escort Cougher out. Everyone could literally hear him throwing an absolute tantrum as he walked back down to terminal. He was swearing and screaming just running his mouth. It was quite amusing. The pilot went over the safety instructions, I turned on a inflight movie, and we relaxed as our flight got ready to take off. It wouldn't be the last time my girl had to bust some heads in order to make sure I was good and safe and God bless her for it. She's like my big sister, my best friend, girlfriend and now fiancee and I can't wait to spend time rest of my life with her.

We have been trying for baby number 2 for about 3 months. I was starting to get discouraged and I would talk to my friend [29f] that I met on a mom group via Facebook about it. I am a SAHM so my interactions are limited and after getting married and having my baby, it left me with no friends. I have known her less than a year but we do frequent playdates with our children, talk about life and our marriages, etc. I had talked to her a day prior to finding out I was pregnant about how discouraged I was. I took a test half-assed and two light lines came out. I text her to get her opinion and she said it looks like it, so I set an appointment to take a test at the doctors. I called up my sister [18f] to tell her my news and if I should wait until father’s day to tell my spouse or not. I am not the best at holding in secrets so I told him immediately after that call. I had told my husband that I wanted him & I to wait until the risk of miscarriage has reduced (after the 1st trimester) before sharing the news. The last time he told the news was as soon as I found out, word got to his ex-wife via his family and she got pregnant as a competition (which has been confirmed). I have told my mother [41f], step-mother[41f], siblings, and my grandma [80f] & grandpa [69m]. The reason I told my grandmother is because the due date would be on her birthday and I knew that would make her happy to hear, my grandpa happened to be in the room so by default he knows. I felt comfortable to share with my family in case something awful happens. My last pregnancy left me with pre-eclampsia, anemia, and chronic utis (and a kidney infection that left me hospitalized). I am at risk for these my current pregnancy, not to mention the stress we are going through moving homes soon, planning my children’s birthdays, and school stress. My husband is upset mostly that I told my sister and friend. He has expressed distaste for my friend because she has talked poorly about her own husband and men and thinks that would rub off on me. He feels like she is a fake friend and evil which I don’t feel at all. He also hates my sister [18f]. My mother has and is in an abusive relationship with her father. That was our reality growing up and so she went through a rebellious stage in middle and high school where she would sneak out, smoke pot, and drink. Last year, she got into a relationship with a drug dealer and moved 8 hours away with him (likely to escape my mother’s and her father’s abuse). I understand why she would move. I moved out as soon as I was 18 too. She is broken up with him but is still friends with him. My spouse has tried to talk my sister out of moving in with him so quickly and how to recognize drug abuse but was met with her teenage eye rolls and ignoring him, typing on her phone. He is saying how I am treating him like a sperm donor and that he doesn’t want to have more kids because of this. He is also upset that he wasn’t able to tell his family that I am barely 4 WEEKS pregnant. His mother hates me. She has talked shit about me from day one. She has tried creating lies to break us up, makes snide and rude comments about me and to me, and she has never made me feel like part of her family. His father’s side is nice but I am not close to them at all. They all have their pre-established groups and I feel like I don’t mesh. They also predominately speak a different language which makes it hard to communicate. He is upset and wants to cease having more kids. He has been giving me the silent treatment or laying into me about how I’m wrong for telling my friend and sister first. How do I navigate his feelings? What would be a worthwhile resolution? What’s the logical thing to do?

One hundred and forty-nine stairs. That’s how many there are to get up to the fire tower I’m posted at. I used to think getting up there meant safety. Now, I’m hoping it just means survival.
Climbing one hundred and forty-nine steps when you’re healthy is no small feat. When one of your legs has been torn to shreds, you’re bleeding from many places and you’re trying to get up there to wrap it, hoping there’s enough bandages so you don’t bleed to death, it’s a lot more difficult.
Then there are the stairs themselves which also count as a hazard when you have to hop up each one, causing pain to shoot through your injured leg. The stairs are skinny enough as they are, but the closer you get to the top, the smaller they get.
How do I know the exact number of steps? I counted them. I also counted which ones I miscalculated my jump, or brushed my foot against the step, or did something else that nearly sent me sailing over the rickety railing to my untimely death. The first time was one step number three, then fifteen, thirty-seven was a bad one, fifty-two, one oh seven, one-twenty, and finally one-forty-three. I guess it’s a good thing I’m deathly afraid of heights.
By now you may have figured out, I’m a park ranger. How did I end up playing this deadly game of hopscotch? It started a week ago when I got the job.
I was super excited, because I love working alone, and I love nature. What other job blends those two so well?
That excitement waned quite a bit when I arrived at the tower on my first day and looked up at those tiny metal steps I would have to climb to get to my job. The whole thing looked about as sturdy as if someone had built it with an erector set. I mean honestly, seeing surface rust on stairs that have to support your weight is terrifying, and I had to wonder how much I would be swaying when the wind really kicked up.
I wanted to close my eyes and just run up, but I didn’t dare. I paid attention to every single step, watching the metal bow under the weight of my foot, white-knuckling the railings as I went.
Finally, I reached the top and knocked on the trapdoor that had to be opened to let me in. I met the ranger who would be training me. His name was Bob, and he looked every bit how I envision a park ranger would look. Tall and thin, wiry but not scrawny, with a five o’clock shadow because he never had the time to shave properly.
Bob was one of those guys who seemed to always have a smirk on their face like they’ve just been told the greatest joke of all time, but they don’t want to let you in on it.
He spent the entire shift showing me around and then boring me to tears with all the little details of working in a fire tower. The place wasn’t bad. I was expecting an empty room with a card table and a radio, but this was nice. It reminded me of a small apartment or the inside of a small RV. There was a kitchenette with a microwave, sink, and minifridge. There was a couch and a couple of chairs, and most importantly, there was a bathroom.
At one point I thought there would be an outhouse at the base of the tower I would have to use. The thought of going down all those steps while holding number one or especially number two was something I didn’t even want to have nightmares about.
Just before the end of the shift, the next ranger came up. His name was Toby.
Toby looked nothing like I envisioned rangers looking like. He was overweight but made up for it by being under tall. He had a look of mischief in his eyes like a seventh grader who had just dropped a cherry bomb down the toilet and was trying to walk away looking nonchalant.
He smiled and shook my hand.
“So did Bob bore you to tears?” he said.
“Not quite to tears,” I said.
“Hey, I’m a good trainer,” Bob said looking offended yet still wearing that grin.
“Did you tell him everything?” Toby said.
“Pretty sure,” Bob said.
“Did you tell him about?” Toby leaned closer and whispered something in Bob’s ear that I couldn’t hear.
Bob’s grin grew.
“No, I didn’t tell him about that.”
“Maybe we should wait until he’s done training,” Toby said.
“What?” I said looking back and forth between them.
“We’ll tell you once you’re done job shadowing,” Bob said with that infuriating grin.
When we left, I was so focused on what they weren’t telling me, I nearly missed the first step and plunged to my death.
“Yeah, you’re gonna want to focus on those steps,” Bob said. “We had a coworker get hurt really bad because of them.”
“Is he ok now?”
Bob looked away.
Toby came over and volunteered, “He’s dead.”
That was definitely what I wanted to hear.
The next few days were a blur. Between total boredom with reading the procedure book and Bob grinning all the while refusing to tell me the big secret, I was getting super frustrated. I couldn’t wait for my first night working alone.
At least I had brought some supplies up to keep in the tower. Some snacks, a few books, and a tablet to make some notes on if I started writing a story.
Finally, the night came. I was working on my own for the first time. Surprisingly, Bob’s smile vanished as he told me.
“Did you ever read anything off of Reddit?” he said.
I shrugged.
“I don’t really read much other than books.”
“Sign up for Reddit, then go to the nosleep subreddit and look for a story called, ‘I was a park ranger stationed in a fire tower. It had a strange set of rules.’ Read that. It’ll tell you what to do.”
“Ok,” I said. “That’s the big secret? Read someone’s made-up story?”
“It might seem made up,” he said. “But trust me, follow the rules.”
I tried to read his expression to see if he was messing with me or not. In the five days I’d known him, there was never a time he wasn’t wearing that stupid grin, until now. His face was serious as a heart attack.
“Alright,” I said. “I’ll look it up later on my phone.”
“You really should do it as soon as I leave.”
“Ok.”
“Good luck.”
He stepped over to the door and went down the stairs. A few minutes later I heard his truck drive away.
“What the hell was that about?”
I stood in the middle of the room looking out at the beautiful trees, but not even seeing them. My mind was occupied by what Bob had said.
“It has to be a prank,” I said to the empty room. “Bob and Toby cooked this up to scare me on my first night. Well, I’m not falling for it.”
I did my first round of walking around on the outside walkway, looking for any sign of fires. We worked twelve-hour shifts, so I was working from seven am to seven pm. It was late summer and still warm enough to go without a jacket, at least on my first round. By the time I got to my fourth round, there was a chill in the air. I started doing my rounds from the inside and made a mental note to bring a jacket with me tomorrow.
It seemed odd to be talking about a jacket in late summer, but in the forest, the temperatures can vary wildly. It could be thirty degrees at night and eighty during the day.
I stepped back inside and saw my phone had lit up with a text message. I looked at it and it was Bob.
‘Did you read the rules yet?’
‘No,’ I texted back.
‘You don’t have much time.’
I knew this was a joke, it had to be a joke. The old timers pulling a fast one on the new guy, jerking his chain a little.
‘I’ll get right on it,’ I texted.
‘You better.’
I put my phone down and looked at the clock. It was ten minutes after ten. Outside was now completely dark, creating a very disconcerting illusion where when I would look outside, all I saw was my reflection. I decided to turn some lights off and go with just the bare minimum. That reduced the reflection some and I could see some trees outside.
I did a slow pan around, then grabbed a bag of chips and a soda, sat down, and worked on a crossword puzzle. That only lasted a half hour until I was bored with it. I picked up a book and started to read.
I woke sometime later, with my head resting on the back of the chair, chip crumbs all over my shirt, and the book laying on the floor.
I stretched and looked over at the clock. It read two-thirteen.
I jumped up, flinging the bag of chips to the floor, realizing I’d missed several checks, then ran around the room staring out at the trees. After my quick lap, I took a breath and did another slower lap to make sure there was no smoke. Thank God, there was none.
I chided myself for falling asleep on duty like that as I cleaned up my mess. I decided I should set an hourly alarm on my phone so that wouldn’t happen again.
When I picked up the phone I noticed there was a series of texts from Bob.
‘Did you read it yet?’
‘Why aren’t you answering?’
‘Are you alright?’
‘Don’t open the door for any reason.’
The last one sent chills down my spine.
Why would I open the door in the middle of the night?
As I was thinking this, another text came in.
‘For the love of God, read it!’
What the hell was wrong with this guy? Was he seriously losing sleep for a stupid joke?
I decided I would humor him and read the story. I opened my phone and went to the Reddit site. I had just signed up and put my information in when I heard static over the radio. I stepped to the receiver and checked it. Static blared out of it, making me jump as I heard a faint voice in it.
“Tower seven, do you read me?” I heard from a voice I could barely hear through the static.
I hesitated for a moment trying to remember if this was tower seven or not.
“Tower seven do you read me?” the voice said sounding a little more desperate.
I picked up the mic and keyed it.
“This is tower seven, go ahead.”
“It’s good to hear you tower seven,” the voice said suddenly clear. “I didn’t think you would answer.”
“Well, here I am, awake and alert, answering you,” I said. “What did you need?”
“I already have what I need,” the voice said sounding like it was chuckling. “I’d like to come visit if that’s alright.”
“Tower seven, this is base, who are you talking to?”
“I don’t know, someone on the radio,” I said into the mic.
“Seven, there’s no one else on this channel,” base said.
I got chills for a moment. What did that mean? How was I hearing someone that base couldn’t? Why would someone be calling now? Then it hit me that the base dispatcher was probably in on the joke too.
“Ok, base, maybe it was just some random transmission.”
“Tower seven,” the voice said. “Am I alright to come from a visit?”
I hesitated for a moment. What if it wasn’t a joke? Who the hell is walking through the forest at two thirty in the morning?
“Maybe we’ll do that visit another time,” I said.
“Visit?” base said. “What visit? Seven, you know it’s against policy to have visitors.”
“Yeah, sorry, base, I won’t be letting anyone visit.”
More static came over the radio. I could swear I could hear someone say something in the middle of it.
It sounded like, “We’ll see.”
I put down the mic and picked up my phone to read the story when I saw something off in the distance. It was a light, but it was hovering, like a helicopter. I switched my phone to camera mode, zoomed in, and took a picture. It was weird because the light was blue. I didn’t think helicopters had blue lights on them. Also, this light wasn’t flashing, it was solid the whole time. It came closer and I took another picture.
It floated even closer. It was mesmerizing. There was no sound. No hum, no whirring of tiny blades keeping it afloat like a drone, nothing. It was about the size of a basketball and glowing the most brilliant blue I’d ever seen. I reached out for it and it backed away from my hand. I took a step closer to the edge of the walkway, reaching out as far as my arm could stretch.
It backed away a few inches, just out of reach. I stood on my tiptoes, pushing against the railing trying to touch it. It moved away another inch.
I reached the tipping point and pinwheeled my arms to regain my balance and shove back against the railing.
I fell onto the walkway, landing hard on my backside and hitting the back of my head against the window. I looked up and the light was gone.
I shook my head, painfully stood up, and went back inside. I didn’t want to do a patrol but figured I’d better. After a slow walk around, I collapsed in the chair and set my alarm to go off in an hour.
After sitting there for a few minutes I could feel myself nodding off, so I opened my phone and started reading the story. After about ten minutes, I lowered my phone, eyes wide, hands shaking.
“It can’t be real,” I whispered. “It’s just a joke.”
I scrolled back through the story and re-read the rules.

1. Never, under any circumstances, leave the fire tower until you are relieved.
   
2. Turn off all lights between the hours of 2 and 3 am.
   
3. If you receive a radio transmission or phone call between those hours, do not answer.
   
4. If anyone knocks on the trapdoor during those hours tell them they’ll have to wait until morning. Do not open the door.
   
5. If you see a glowing object floating toward the tower, don’t look at it. Cover your eyes and count to 50. When you open your eyes it should be gone. If not, cover and count to 50 again.
   
6. If animals surround the tower don’t go down to look. Fire your flare gun into the air twice one minute apart, then lock yourself in the bathroom and hope for the best.
   My skepticism started to waver. How could they have known about those things, unless…
   

There was a powerful banging at the trapdoor that made me jump.
“Who is it?” I said.
No one answered.
I minute later, the pounding resumed. I searched for anything I could use as a weapon. Digging through the silverware drawer and finding an old, dull, paring knife, I backed as far away from the trapdoor as possible while staying inside. The pounding repeated. Somehow through the fear that coursed through my veins, I found my voice.
“You’ll have to come back in the morning,” I said.
“But I’m here now tower,” said the voice from the radio. “Let… me… in... ”
The last three words changed from asking to demanding. The voice also became deeper and more menacing.
I didn’t answer. I just slid down to the floor and hugged my knees holding the knife in front of me, silently searching through the story on my phone to see if there was something I missed, some way I could remedy the situation. But there was nothing, and the end of the story didn’t give me much hope.
I covered my ears and closed my eyes as the pounding continued now mixed with the voice that was going back and forth between pleading and threatening. It whispered then it screamed. It sound like a young boy, then it sounded demonic.
I rocked back and forth trying to keep some measure of sanity as the assault continued. I began to wonder how long the trapdoor would hold before whatever it was broke through.
Then suddenly it stopped.
As happy as I was that there was no more pounding and yelling, I didn’t trust it. My entire body was on pins and needles. It felt like the calm before the storm.
The fire tower shook. It felt like an earthquake, only different. I stood and went out to the walkway to see what was happening. When I looked down, I couldn’t believe it. The tower was surrounded by animals of all kinds. Deer, squirrels, bears, moose, any forest animal you could imagine, and even a couple I couldn’t and didn’t want to identify.
As I leaned over watching this strange menagerie, a moose rammed into one of the tower’s legs. It sent a shockwave through the entire metal framework. By the time it got up to me the tower was shaking so hard it made me lose my balance.
I toppled over the edge and fell. I threw my arm out attempting to catch the rail, but only touched it with my fingertips.
I knew I was falling to my death, there was no doubt. The wind rushing in my ears didn’t drown out the sound of my screaming. It sounded odd like I was listening to someone else scream. I closed my eyes, not wanting to know when the end was coming.
Suddenly something hit me hard in the ribs. I looked and I had hit a tree limb, but it didn’t stop me. The branch broke sending me falling again until I hit another branch. This one tore a gash on my leg as I flipped head over heels and fell again. The next branch grazed my head and made me see stars. I bounced off another branch hitting my shoulder, then took one to the knee, and landed flat on my back on the ground.
I lay there dazed, injured, but alive and surprised to be so. As I tried to regain my bearings, I saw the animals rushing over to me. I doubted they wanted me to pet them while they licked my wounds and cared for me while singing Disney songs.
I jumped up as pain rocked my body from more places than I wanted to think about. I hopped over to the tower steps and began my long arduous journey, just a half step away from a bunch of animals that seemed dead set on my destruction.
About halfway up I realized there was no more pursuit, so I slowed trying to conserve energy.
I got to the top, unlocked the hatch and tried to push it open. It took several tries to get enough strength while balancing on one leg standing on the tiniest of all the tiny steps. As soon as I got it open, I turned and slammed it shut, locking it.
I hobbled into the room, found the first aid box and struggled to get to the couch. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and forget this day ever happened.
I tried to easily lay myself down, but ended up collapsing in an excruciating heap.
Once down, I focused on bandaging the leg since it was losing the most blood. Once done, I proceeded to bandage all the rest of the areas that needed.
“How are you feeling, tower seven?” I heard the voice say over the radio.
I didn’t answer.
“Oh, come on now tower, don’t be like that,” it said. “Talk to me. Let me in and we’ll have a conversation.”
I lay there trying to think of anything other than pain and this voice.
“There has to be punishment for disobeying the rules.”
My blood ran cold. How did that thing know about the rules?
I reached into my pocket and was astonished that my phone was there. It had a cracked screen, but was usable. I texted Bob.
‘I’m alive, somehow. I broke half the rules without knowing it because I read the story too late.’
‘Are you alright?’
I took pictures of my bandaged leg that was wrapped but blood was still seeping through. I took pictures of my battered face, and my bruised ribs. I sent them all to Bob.
‘Good Lord, man, what did you do?’
‘I fell out of the tower.’
‘You did what?’
‘Was leaning over the edge of the walkway when one of the animals smashed into the support leg and shook the tower, knocking me over.’
‘How are you alive?’
‘Tree caught me.’
‘I’ll call the paramedics and come in early to relieve you.’
‘I’ll be laying here on the couch, bleeding.’
Then I added, ‘I’ll follow the rules from now on.’
There was static on the radio and a faint voice said, “You’d better.”
***
When Bob unlocked the hatch and led the EMTs in, he didn’t have that grin on his face.
“You ok, kid?” he said.
“Hunky dory, how about you?” I said laying on the cushions that were soaked in my own blood.
“He might be in shock,” one of the EMTs said.
My rescue was an adventure in itself. When they examined me they informed me that my leg was broken. I was sweating trying to go back down those steps with a splint on. I could just see me slipping near the top and falling again. There didn’t seem to be any trees close enough to catch me on this side.
Apparently, the EMTs seemed to be thinking the same thing. Someone came up with the brilliant idea of tying me to a backboard and trying to carry me down the steps. After two EMTs nearly fell, they decided to tie it to a rope and lower me like a sack of potatoes.
They rigged up a rope around one of the support poles for the walkway. Watching the rope scrape along the edges of the wood, fraying as it went was probably more terrifying than anything I’d experienced last night.
Floating in the air, spinning slowly didn’t help my fear of heights any. I decided to close my eyes and try to stay as still as possible so the balance wouldn’t be disturbed and slide me out of the end to fall to my death.
I was extremely grateful when the board hit the ground. My adrenaline finally crashed and I fell into a deep sleep as they loaded me into the ambulance.
***
Truth be told, I’m absolutely terrified to go back to the tower. It’s not like I have a lot of choices. Park ranger is a good paying job and sitting around watching for fires is about the easiest job I’ve ever heard of.
If you take away the supernatural voices, bizarre wildlife, strange lights, and the stairs of death.
I’m hoping paying attention to the rules will keep me safe.
I’m posting this as a warning. If your job has some strange rules, make sure you follow them, no matter how stupid you think they might be.

One hundred and forty-nine stairs. That’s how many there are to get up to the fire tower I’m posted at. I used to think getting up there meant safety. Now, I’m hoping it just means survival.
Climbing one hundred and forty-nine steps when you’re healthy is no small feat. When one of your legs has been torn to shreds, you’re bleeding from many places and you’re trying to get up there to wrap it, hoping there’s enough bandages so you don’t bleed to death, it’s a lot more difficult.
Then there are the stairs themselves which also count as a hazard when you have to hop up each one, causing pain to shoot through your injured leg. The stairs are skinny enough as they are, but the closer you get to the top, the smaller they get.
How do I know the exact number of steps? I counted them. I also counted which ones I miscalculated my jump, or brushed my foot against the step, or did something else that nearly sent me sailing over the rickety railing to my untimely death. The first time was one step number three, then fifteen, thirty-seven was a bad one, fifty-two, one oh seven, one-twenty, and finally one-forty-three. I guess it’s a good thing I’m deathly afraid of heights.
By now you may have figured out, I’m a park ranger. How did I end up playing this deadly game of hopscotch? It started a week ago when I got the job.
I was super excited, because I love working alone, and I love nature. What other job blends those two so well?
That excitement waned quite a bit when I arrived at the tower on my first day and looked up at those tiny metal steps I would have to climb to get to my job. The whole thing looked about as sturdy as if someone had built it with an erector set. I mean honestly, seeing surface rust on stairs that have to support your weight is terrifying, and I had to wonder how much I would be swaying when the wind really kicked up.
I wanted to close my eyes and just run up, but I didn’t dare. I paid attention to every single step, watching the metal bow under the weight of my foot, white-knuckling the railings as I went.
Finally, I reached the top and knocked on the trapdoor that had to be opened to let me in. I met the ranger who would be training me. His name was Bob, and he looked every bit how I envision a park ranger would look. Tall and thin, wiry but not scrawny, with a five o’clock shadow because he never had the time to shave properly.
Bob was one of those guys who seemed to always have a smirk on their face like they’ve just been told the greatest joke of all time, but they don’t want to let you in on it.
He spent the entire shift showing me around and then boring me to tears with all the little details of working in a fire tower. The place wasn’t bad. I was expecting an empty room with a card table and a radio, but this was nice. It reminded me of a small apartment or the inside of a small RV. There was a kitchenette with a microwave, sink, and minifridge. There was a couch and a couple of chairs, and most importantly, there was a bathroom.
At one point I thought there would be an outhouse at the base of the tower I would have to use. The thought of going down all those steps while holding number one or especially number two was something I didn’t even want to have nightmares about.
Just before the end of the shift, the next ranger came up. His name was Toby.
Toby looked nothing like I envisioned rangers looking like. He was overweight but made up for it by being under tall. He had a look of mischief in his eyes like a seventh grader who had just dropped a cherry bomb down the toilet and was trying to walk away looking nonchalant.
He smiled and shook my hand.
“So did Bob bore you to tears?” he said.
“Not quite to tears,” I said.
“Hey, I’m a good trainer,” Bob said looking offended yet still wearing that grin.
“Did you tell him everything?” Toby said.
“Pretty sure,” Bob said.
“Did you tell him about?” Toby leaned closer and whispered something in Bob’s ear that I couldn’t hear.
Bob’s grin grew.
“No, I didn’t tell him about that.”
“Maybe we should wait until he’s done training,” Toby said.
“What?” I said looking back and forth between them.
“We’ll tell you once you’re done job shadowing,” Bob said with that infuriating grin.
When we left, I was so focused on what they weren’t telling me, I nearly missed the first step and plunged to my death.
“Yeah, you’re gonna want to focus on those steps,” Bob said. “We had a coworker get hurt really bad because of them.”
“Is he ok now?”
Bob looked away.
Toby came over and volunteered, “He’s dead.”
That was definitely what I wanted to hear.
The next few days were a blur. Between total boredom with reading the procedure book and Bob grinning all the while refusing to tell me the big secret, I was getting super frustrated. I couldn’t wait for my first night working alone.
At least I had brought some supplies up to keep in the tower. Some snacks, a few books, and a tablet to make some notes on if I started writing a story.
Finally, the night came. I was working on my own for the first time. Surprisingly, Bob’s smile vanished as he told me.
“Did you ever read anything off of Reddit?” he said.
I shrugged.
“I don’t really read much other than books.”
“Sign up for Reddit, then go to the nosleep subreddit and look for a story called, ‘I was a park ranger stationed in a fire tower. It had a strange set of rules.’ Read that. It’ll tell you what to do.”
“Ok,” I said. “That’s the big secret? Read someone’s made-up story?”
“It might seem made up,” he said. “But trust me, follow the rules.”
I tried to read his expression to see if he was messing with me or not. In the five days I’d known him, there was never a time he wasn’t wearing that stupid grin, until now. His face was serious as a heart attack.
“Alright,” I said. “I’ll look it up later on my phone.”
“You really should do it as soon as I leave.”
“Ok.”
“Good luck.”
He stepped over to the door and went down the stairs. A few minutes later I heard his truck drive away.
“What the hell was that about?”
I stood in the middle of the room looking out at the beautiful trees, but not even seeing them. My mind was occupied by what Bob had said.
“It has to be a prank,” I said to the empty room. “Bob and Toby cooked this up to scare me on my first night. Well, I’m not falling for it.”
I did my first round of walking around on the outside walkway, looking for any sign of fires. We worked twelve-hour shifts, so I was working from seven am to seven pm. It was late summer and still warm enough to go without a jacket, at least on my first round. By the time I got to my fourth round, there was a chill in the air. I started doing my rounds from the inside and made a mental note to bring a jacket with me tomorrow.
It seemed odd to be talking about a jacket in late summer, but in the forest, the temperatures can vary wildly. It could be thirty degrees at night and eighty during the day.
I stepped back inside and saw my phone had lit up with a text message. I looked at it and it was Bob.
‘Did you read the rules yet?’
‘No,’ I texted back.
‘You don’t have much time.’
I knew this was a joke, it had to be a joke. The old timers pulling a fast one on the new guy, jerking his chain a little.
‘I’ll get right on it,’ I texted.
‘You better.’
I put my phone down and looked at the clock. It was ten minutes after ten. Outside was now completely dark, creating a very disconcerting illusion where when I would look outside, all I saw was my reflection. I decided to turn some lights off and go with just the bare minimum. That reduced the reflection some and I could see some trees outside.
I did a slow pan around, then grabbed a bag of chips and a soda, sat down, and worked on a crossword puzzle. That only lasted a half hour until I was bored with it. I picked up a book and started to read.
I woke sometime later, with my head resting on the back of the chair, chip crumbs all over my shirt, and the book laying on the floor.
I stretched and looked over at the clock. It read two-thirteen.
I jumped up, flinging the bag of chips to the floor, realizing I’d missed several checks, then ran around the room staring out at the trees. After my quick lap, I took a breath and did another slower lap to make sure there was no smoke. Thank God, there was none.
I chided myself for falling asleep on duty like that as I cleaned up my mess. I decided I should set an hourly alarm on my phone so that wouldn’t happen again.
When I picked up the phone I noticed there was a series of texts from Bob.
‘Did you read it yet?’
‘Why aren’t you answering?’
‘Are you alright?’
‘Don’t open the door for any reason.’
The last one sent chills down my spine.
Why would I open the door in the middle of the night?
As I was thinking this, another text came in.
‘For the love of God, read it!’
What the hell was wrong with this guy? Was he seriously losing sleep for a stupid joke?
I decided I would humor him and read the story. I opened my phone and went to the Reddit site. I had just signed up and put my information in when I heard static over the radio. I stepped to the receiver and checked it. Static blared out of it, making me jump as I heard a faint voice in it.
“Tower seven, do you read me?” I heard from a voice I could barely hear through the static.
I hesitated for a moment trying to remember if this was tower seven or not.
“Tower seven do you read me?” the voice said sounding a little more desperate.
I picked up the mic and keyed it.
“This is tower seven, go ahead.”
“It’s good to hear you tower seven,” the voice said suddenly clear. “I didn’t think you would answer.”
“Well, here I am, awake and alert, answering you,” I said. “What did you need?”
“I already have what I need,” the voice said sounding like it was chuckling. “I’d like to come visit if that’s alright.”
“Tower seven, this is base, who are you talking to?”
“I don’t know, someone on the radio,” I said into the mic.
“Seven, there’s no one else on this channel,” base said.
I got chills for a moment. What did that mean? How was I hearing someone that base couldn’t? Why would someone be calling now? Then it hit me that the base dispatcher was probably in on the joke too.
“Ok, base, maybe it was just some random transmission.”
“Tower seven,” the voice said. “Am I alright to come from a visit?”
I hesitated for a moment. What if it wasn’t a joke? Who the hell is walking through the forest at two thirty in the morning?
“Maybe we’ll do that visit another time,” I said.
“Visit?” base said. “What visit? Seven, you know it’s against policy to have visitors.”
“Yeah, sorry, base, I won’t be letting anyone visit.”
More static came over the radio. I could swear I could hear someone say something in the middle of it.
It sounded like, “We’ll see.”
I put down the mic and picked up my phone to read the story when I saw something off in the distance. It was a light, but it was hovering, like a helicopter. I switched my phone to camera mode, zoomed in, and took a picture. It was weird because the light was blue. I didn’t think helicopters had blue lights on them. Also, this light wasn’t flashing, it was solid the whole time. It came closer and I took another picture.
It floated even closer. It was mesmerizing. There was no sound. No hum, no whirring of tiny blades keeping it afloat like a drone, nothing. It was about the size of a basketball and glowing the most brilliant blue I’d ever seen. I reached out for it and it backed away from my hand. I took a step closer to the edge of the walkway, reaching out as far as my arm could stretch.
It backed away a few inches, just out of reach. I stood on my tiptoes, pushing against the railing trying to touch it. It moved away another inch.
I reached the tipping point and pinwheeled my arms to regain my balance and shove back against the railing.
I fell onto the walkway, landing hard on my backside and hitting the back of my head against the window. I looked up and the light was gone.
I shook my head, painfully stood up, and went back inside. I didn’t want to do a patrol but figured I’d better. After a slow walk around, I collapsed in the chair and set my alarm to go off in an hour.
After sitting there for a few minutes I could feel myself nodding off, so I opened my phone and started reading the story. After about ten minutes, I lowered my phone, eyes wide, hands shaking.
“It can’t be real,” I whispered. “It’s just a joke.”
I scrolled back through the story and re-read the rules.

1. Never, under any circumstances, leave the fire tower until you are relieved.
   
2. Turn off all lights between the hours of 2 and 3 am.
   
3. If you receive a radio transmission or phone call between those hours, do not answer.
   
4. If anyone knocks on the trapdoor during those hours tell them they’ll have to wait until morning. Do not open the door.
   
5. If you see a glowing object floating toward the tower, don’t look at it. Cover your eyes and count to 50. When you open your eyes it should be gone. If not, cover and count to 50 again.
   
6. If animals surround the tower don’t go down to look. Fire your flare gun into the air twice one minute apart, then lock yourself in the bathroom and hope for the best.
   My skepticism started to waver. How could they have known about those things, unless…
   

There was a powerful banging at the trapdoor that made me jump.
“Who is it?” I said.
No one answered.
I minute later, the pounding resumed. I searched for anything I could use as a weapon. Digging through the silverware drawer and finding an old, dull, paring knife, I backed as far away from the trapdoor as possible while staying inside. The pounding repeated. Somehow through the fear that coursed through my veins, I found my voice.
“You’ll have to come back in the morning,” I said.
“But I’m here now tower,” said the voice from the radio. “Let… me… in... ”
The last three words changed from asking to demanding. The voice also became deeper and more menacing.
I didn’t answer. I just slid down to the floor and hugged my knees holding the knife in front of me, silently searching through the story on my phone to see if there was something I missed, some way I could remedy the situation. But there was nothing, and the end of the story didn’t give me much hope.
I covered my ears and closed my eyes as the pounding continued now mixed with the voice that was going back and forth between pleading and threatening. It whispered then it screamed. It sound like a young boy, then it sounded demonic.
I rocked back and forth trying to keep some measure of sanity as the assault continued. I began to wonder how long the trapdoor would hold before whatever it was broke through.
Then suddenly it stopped.
As happy as I was that there was no more pounding and yelling, I didn’t trust it. My entire body was on pins and needles. It felt like the calm before the storm.
The fire tower shook. It felt like an earthquake, only different. I stood and went out to the walkway to see what was happening. When I looked down, I couldn’t believe it. The tower was surrounded by animals of all kinds. Deer, squirrels, bears, moose, any forest animal you could imagine, and even a couple I couldn’t and didn’t want to identify.
As I leaned over watching this strange menagerie, a moose rammed into one of the tower’s legs. It sent a shockwave through the entire metal framework. By the time it got up to me the tower was shaking so hard it made me lose my balance.
I toppled over the edge and fell. I threw my arm out attempting to catch the rail, but only touched it with my fingertips.
I knew I was falling to my death, there was no doubt. The wind rushing in my ears didn’t drown out the sound of my screaming. It sounded odd like I was listening to someone else scream. I closed my eyes, not wanting to know when the end was coming.
Suddenly something hit me hard in the ribs. I looked and I had hit a tree limb, but it didn’t stop me. The branch broke sending me falling again until I hit another branch. This one tore a gash on my leg as I flipped head over heels and fell again. The next branch grazed my head and made me see stars. I bounced off another branch hitting my shoulder, then took one to the knee, and landed flat on my back on the ground.
I lay there dazed, injured, but alive and surprised to be so. As I tried to regain my bearings, I saw the animals rushing over to me. I doubted they wanted me to pet them while they licked my wounds and cared for me while singing Disney songs.
I jumped up as pain rocked my body from more places than I wanted to think about. I hopped over to the tower steps and began my long arduous journey, just a half step away from a bunch of animals that seemed dead set on my destruction.
About halfway up I realized there was no more pursuit, so I slowed trying to conserve energy.
I got to the top, unlocked the hatch and tried to push it open. It took several tries to get enough strength while balancing on one leg standing on the tiniest of all the tiny steps. As soon as I got it open, I turned and slammed it shut, locking it.
I hobbled into the room, found the first aid box and struggled to get to the couch. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and forget this day ever happened.
I tried to easily lay myself down, but ended up collapsing in an excruciating heap.
Once down, I focused on bandaging the leg since it was losing the most blood. Once done, I proceeded to bandage all the rest of the areas that needed.
“How are you feeling, tower seven?” I heard the voice say over the radio.
I didn’t answer.
“Oh, come on now tower, don’t be like that,” it said. “Talk to me. Let me in and we’ll have a conversation.”
I lay there trying to think of anything other than pain and this voice.
“There has to be punishment for disobeying the rules.”
My blood ran cold. How did that thing know about the rules?
I reached into my pocket and was astonished that my phone was there. It had a cracked screen, but was usable. I texted Bob.
‘I’m alive, somehow. I broke half the rules without knowing it because I read the story too late.’
‘Are you alright?’
I took pictures of my bandaged leg that was wrapped but blood was still seeping through. I took pictures of my battered face, and my bruised ribs. I sent them all to Bob.
‘Good Lord, man, what did you do?’
‘I fell out of the tower.’
‘You did what?’
‘Was leaning over the edge of the walkway when one of the animals smashed into the support leg and shook the tower, knocking me over.’
‘How are you alive?’
‘Tree caught me.’
‘I’ll call the paramedics and come in early to relieve you.’
‘I’ll be laying here on the couch, bleeding.’
Then I added, ‘I’ll follow the rules from now on.’
There was static on the radio and a faint voice said, “You’d better.”
***
When Bob unlocked the hatch and led the EMTs in, he didn’t have that grin on his face.
“You ok, kid?” he said.
“Hunky dory, how about you?” I said laying on the cushions that were soaked in my own blood.
“He might be in shock,” one of the EMTs said.
My rescue was an adventure in itself. When they examined me they informed me that my leg was broken. I was sweating trying to go back down those steps with a splint on. I could just see me slipping near the top and falling again. There didn’t seem to be any trees close enough to catch me on this side.
Apparently, the EMTs seemed to be thinking the same thing. Someone came up with the brilliant idea of tying me to a backboard and trying to carry me down the steps. After two EMTs nearly fell, they decided to tie it to a rope and lower me like a sack of potatoes.
They rigged up a rope around one of the support poles for the walkway. Watching the rope scrape along the edges of the wood, fraying as it went was probably more terrifying than anything I’d experienced last night.
Floating in the air, spinning slowly didn’t help my fear of heights any. I decided to close my eyes and try to stay as still as possible so the balance wouldn’t be disturbed and slide me out of the end to fall to my death.
I was extremely grateful when the board hit the ground. My adrenaline finally crashed and I fell into a deep sleep as they loaded me into the ambulance.
***
Truth be told, I’m absolutely terrified to go back to the tower. It’s not like I have a lot of choices. Park ranger is a good paying job and sitting around watching for fires is about the easiest job I’ve ever heard of.
If you take away the supernatural voices, bizarre wildlife, strange lights, and the stairs of death.
I’m hoping paying attention to the rules will keep me safe.
I’m posting this as a warning. If your job has some strange rules, make sure you follow them, no matter how stupid you think they might be.

When I first met her 8 years ago I thought she was gorgeous and that my cousin really lucked out because she was witty, incredibly smart and personable, charismatic,, super polite with all of our family, and in general just really fun to be around and visit with. They had an infant together(unplanned) which initiated their relationship. Knowing my cousin, I was pretty sure that their relationship still only existed because of the baby. Whatever though, not my place to voice disagreement of other people's choices.
The more I got to know her though, the more I liked her, and I mean really liked her. So much so that it was one of the largest reasons I broke up with my girlfriend at the time.
7 years ago they got engaged and even though there had never been anything between her and I, my gut hurt like a heartbreak and I realized just how much my feelings for her had snowballed into more than I bargained for. I was insanely jealous and thought about sabotaging their relationship because I wanted a chance with her. I never did it, but the thought crossed my mind and I felt like my cousin was not being honest with her. I knew he liked other women and shamelessly chased after then at bars or anytime she wasn't around.
Then 6 years ago, my cousin confided in me that he had been interested in the swinger lifestyle because he didn't want "just one pussy" the rest of his life and he was contemplating bringing it up with her, just not in the words he used with me of course. They weren't married yet. I encouraged him to, and not for selfish reasons. I honestly thought that if she loved him she would maybe consider his kink interest in swinging. If she gave him a hard no, then would he really want to spend the rest of his life with someone who wouldn't be compatible for him in the long run? I did hope to myself that maybe she'd realize she didn't have to be stuck with him. Idk. I thought it made sense.
Anyway. He proposed the lifestyle to her and she was not impressed but after a "little persuading" (him telling her he couldn't get married without at least trying it- painting her into a bit of a corner because I feel like he just manipulated her into an ultimatum) he tells me, she agreed to give it a try. Great. Just my fucking luck. Not only are they staying together but now I had to discreetly live with the information that my cousin doesn't really love or respect her, and that he doesn't care if she's actually interested in swinging or not, as long as he can have other women over or go fuck them whether she takes part or not. She's "free to do what she wants" he says, but I could tell over the next few months that she wasn't happy with him- and she didn't know he talked to me about it so I didn't know how to bring it up without embarrassing her and sticking my nose where it didn't belong.
About 6 months after he started sleeping with other women, they were visiting me for a long weekend when we all had a friday off work and they had a babysitter for the weekend.
We decided to re-live childhood fun by making a giant blanket fort to watch a movie in and order take out. So at this point my cousin and I were both 29, she was 28(just a few months younger than myself). My cousin insisted that we need popcorn and snacks so he was going to make a quick trip to the store. As he left, he joked that he knew his fiancee thought I was hot, and that I'd better take "really good care of her" before he gets back and winked at me. I laughed thinking he was just trying to make a cheesy joke but then he pulled out his phone and set an alarm, showing me, and said that I only had about 1 hour so I'd better "make it worth it". "Riiight" I said sarcastically, still trying to decide if he was joking or not as hr closed the door behind him.
She was in the living room still setting up the tent while he said this to me at the front door. I thought it was a really bizarre way to joke because he wasn't normally like that, and over the past 6 months he had told me she just simply didn't want to sleep with other people, but she was totally fine with him having side chicks. The thought crossed my mind that maybe he actually thought I would be willing to get involved sexually with her. I'd never told him about my feelings but between countless exchanged glances and moments, I had a pretty good idea that she knew I was at least a little sweet on her. Anyway, I walked the 15 feet down the hall back to the living room and rounded the corner to find her half naked, jeans draped on the sofa, pulling her shirt up slightly to expose her stomach. She said that my cousin let her know I was aware that they were swingers. (He failed to tell her that I knew she wasn't sleeping with other people, only he was). She said something like "Look, I could be totally wrong here so please stop me if I'm embarrassing myself further but I feel like you might be interested in me more than my cousin thinks, and if I'm not wrong then I think you should know that I'm attracted to you more than you probably think. I know this is so out of the blue and a bit awkward..."and I cut her off, wrapping a blanket around her. She immediately started apologizing and reached for her jeans but I told her no, don't apologize, just wait. I hugged her, all wrapped up in that blanket and told her look, let's talk.
I did not want to take advantage of this moment, internally though...... My cock had never been so hard so fast. All I though was No, this is not okay, this is not how I wanted to get her.
We sat down on the sofa, still in somewhat of a hug with her curled up against my side/chest and she admitted that they were opening up their relationship because he needed it, and she had permission to "fool around" with me.... if I was interested, but she actually hadn't met with anybody else, and then admitted that she's had eyes for me since we met but didn't know how to deal with that, especially because I had a girlfriend when we first met. I was jaw dropped. I admitted I've had feelings for her since shortly after we met, and those feelings were one of the reasons that my relationship with that gf had ended. We were silent for a minute, my arm still around her shoulders though and I was so very aware of her heartbeat as she was snuggled up to me. She leaned away from me a little, grabbed the free hand on my lap and looked up and me and said "I feel safe with you." Our eyes locked. That was the moment that sealed it. My heart skipped, my breath caught, everything stood still and she kissed me. WOW. I was shocked for a second then pulled her up closer with the arm that had been around her shoulders and as soon as I did, her tongue was down my throat in an instant. It was like an explosion of pent up passion on both our parts. That might even be an understatement. I pulled her in more forcefully to kiss and pull against me, as she writhed and pushed herself onto me with just as much force. I could not believe it. It was like a too-good-to-be-true moment that you'd have seen written into a movie script. We were frantically undressing each other, grabbing, kissing, biting... holy fuck I didn't know I was into being bit. I could feel how wet she was against my leg when she rubbed up on me and I just had to taste her. As soon as I started eating her out she stopped me, repositioned herself so we could 69 and God fucking dammit I have never had such amazing head. Within 3 minutes we were fucking. Every surface in my living room that day was christened and she told me repeatedly how much she had lusted after me and was so scared to bring it up, and how she couldn't believe she had been "missing out on this" this whole time. I responded much to the same sentiment and we damn well made the absolute most of that hour.
Just revisiting that memory has me rock solid.
3 hours, and a handful of orgasms later, my cousin finally got back- evidently from a last minute hook up, not the grocery store- the 3 of us talked that night about their lifestyle and the agreements they had in place, and how they both trusted me etc.. basically their agreement with each other includes that any sexual partners one or the other has must be approved by each other, ahead of time, and never in secret.
My issue is that they got married that year, but she was having doubts about getting married and was afraid to pull out of the wedding because of family pressure. Hesitantly she followed through with the wedding and I know she regrets it. Her and I have continued to have sex every chance we can.... but my cousin doesn't know we actually have feelings for each other, and he doesn't know we've continued to be sexual with each other. His wife is having an affair, with me. I don't know how to stop, I don't even want to stop. It's been 6 years now and the guilt is eating me alive. She's not happy with him, and I know he doesn't love her the way I do. My cousin is one of my best friends, I truly don't want him to hurt, and here I'm the asshole that's fucking his wife. I want her to leave him, and she wants to, but they had a kid together unplanned(broken condom) and she feels obligated to stay-especially because her family is out of touch and his parents have a great relationship with her. She's stuck for a number of reasons and I'm in love with her. I want to take care of all her worries and just end the agony of keeping everything so fucking secret and dishonest to my family, but I don't know where to start. I cannot stop thinking about her, especially knowing my cousin doesn't really love her, meanwhile it's torture to not be her partner, it's driving me insane.
So a little extra info too, I was single when we started the affair and stayed single for 3 years. In the back of my mind I stayed single for the chance of her and my cousin breaking up. Eventually I figured I need to just move on and thought if I started dating again then my feelings would go away,maybe it wasn't love, just lust. Instead, despite numerous one night stands, dates, and finally meeting a great girl that I am currently dating.... nothing dampened my feelings for her. I haven't cheated on my current girlfriend physically, but mentally I need to get my shit figured out here because I can't tell if I'm just lusting after my cousin's wife still... or if I actually love her, and what the hell can I even do about it. I don't even enjoy sex with my gf unless I'm picturing my cousin's wife. So now I'm just using my gf too and I feel like a real shit person. Idk where to go from here or what to do. On top of all this, They are coming to visit next weekend and I've been masturbating like every hour, getting nothing done because I get relentlessly hard every time I think about her sleeping in the room next to mine, and I want an excuse to get my cousin to leave so I can fuck her like she deserves, but I haven't broken up with this current gf yet and I know I will %100 take any chance to cheat on her with my cousins wife if I get it. I also know my cousin doesn't even appreciate his wife and it just makes me feel even less guilty about the affair.
TLDR; I've been having sex with my cousin's wife for 6 years. He approved of the first time(they have an "open" relationship), but he doesn't know she's been having an affair with me ever since. I've tried to stay away from her, and started dating someone, trying to deter my feelings for her, but I'm at a point now where idk if it's lust or love and I haven't cheated on my girlfriend physically but I cannot get my cousin's wife off my mind, and they are coming to visit next weekend...

One hundred and forty-nine stairs. That’s how many there are to get up to the fire tower I’m posted at. I used to think getting up there meant safety. Now, I’m hoping it just means survival.
Climbing one hundred and forty-nine steps when you’re healthy is no small feat. When one of your legs has been torn to shreds, you’re bleeding from many places and you’re trying to get up there to wrap it, hoping there’s enough bandages so you don’t bleed to death, it’s a lot more difficult.
Then there are the stairs themselves which also count as a hazard when you have to hop up each one, causing pain to shoot through your injured leg. The stairs are skinny enough as they are, but the closer you get to the top, the smaller they get.
How do I know the exact number of steps? I counted them. I also counted which ones I miscalculated my jump, or brushed my foot against the step, or did something else that nearly sent me sailing over the rickety railing to my untimely death. The first time was one step number three, then fifteen, thirty-seven was a bad one, fifty-two, one oh seven, one-twenty, and finally one-forty-three. I guess it’s a good thing I’m deathly afraid of heights.
By now you may have figured out, I’m a park ranger. How did I end up playing this deadly game of hopscotch? It started a week ago when I got the job.
I was super excited, because I love working alone, and I love nature. What other job blends those two so well?
That excitement waned quite a bit when I arrived at the tower on my first day and looked up at those tiny metal steps I would have to climb to get to my job. The whole thing looked about as sturdy as if someone had built it with an erector set. I mean honestly, seeing surface rust on stairs that have to support your weight is terrifying, and I had to wonder how much I would be swaying when the wind really kicked up.
I wanted to close my eyes and just run up, but I didn’t dare. I paid attention to every single step, watching the metal bow under the weight of my foot, white-knuckling the railings as I went.
Finally, I reached the top and knocked on the trapdoor that had to be opened to let me in. I met the ranger who would be training me. His name was Bob, and he looked every bit how I envision a park ranger would look. Tall and thin, wiry but not scrawny, with a five o’clock shadow because he never had the time to shave properly.
Bob was one of those guys who seemed to always have a smirk on their face like they’ve just been told the greatest joke of all time, but they don’t want to let you in on it.
He spent the entire shift showing me around and then boring me to tears with all the little details of working in a fire tower. The place wasn’t bad. I was expecting an empty room with a card table and a radio, but this was nice. It reminded me of a small apartment or the inside of a small RV. There was a kitchenette with a microwave, sink, and minifridge. There was a couch and a couple of chairs, and most importantly, there was a bathroom.
At one point I thought there would be an outhouse at the base of the tower I would have to use. The thought of going down all those steps while holding number one or especially number two was something I didn’t even want to have nightmares about.
Just before the end of the shift, the next ranger came up. His name was Toby.
Toby looked nothing like I envisioned rangers looking like. He was overweight but made up for it by being under tall. He had a look of mischief in his eyes like a seventh grader who had just dropped a cherry bomb down the toilet and was trying to walk away looking nonchalant.
He smiled and shook my hand.
“So did Bob bore you to tears?” he said.
“Not quite to tears,” I said.
“Hey, I’m a good trainer,” Bob said looking offended yet still wearing that grin.
“Did you tell him everything?” Toby said.
“Pretty sure,” Bob said.
“Did you tell him about?” Toby leaned closer and whispered something in Bob’s ear that I couldn’t hear.
Bob’s grin grew.
“No, I didn’t tell him about that.”
“Maybe we should wait until he’s done training,” Toby said.
“What?” I said looking back and forth between them.
“We’ll tell you once you’re done job shadowing,” Bob said with that infuriating grin.
When we left, I was so focused on what they weren’t telling me, I nearly missed the first step and plunged to my death.
“Yeah, you’re gonna want to focus on those steps,” Bob said. “We had a coworker get hurt really bad because of them.”
“Is he ok now?”
Bob looked away.
Toby came over and volunteered, “He’s dead.”
That was definitely what I wanted to hear.
The next few days were a blur. Between total boredom with reading the procedure book and Bob grinning all the while refusing to tell me the big secret, I was getting super frustrated. I couldn’t wait for my first night working alone.
At least I had brought some supplies up to keep in the tower. Some snacks, a few books, and a tablet to make some notes on if I started writing a story.
Finally, the night came. I was working on my own for the first time. Surprisingly, Bob’s smile vanished as he told me.
“Did you ever read anything off of Reddit?” he said.
I shrugged.
“I don’t really read much other than books.”
“Sign up for Reddit, then go to the nosleep subreddit and look for a story called, ‘I was a park ranger stationed in a fire tower. It had a strange set of rules.’ Read that. It’ll tell you what to do.”
“Ok,” I said. “That’s the big secret? Read someone’s made-up story?”
“It might seem made up,” he said. “But trust me, follow the rules.”
I tried to read his expression to see if he was messing with me or not. In the five days I’d known him, there was never a time he wasn’t wearing that stupid grin, until now. His face was serious as a heart attack.
“Alright,” I said. “I’ll look it up later on my phone.”
“You really should do it as soon as I leave.”
“Ok.”
“Good luck.”
He stepped over to the door and went down the stairs. A few minutes later I heard his truck drive away.
“What the hell was that about?”
I stood in the middle of the room looking out at the beautiful trees, but not even seeing them. My mind was occupied by what Bob had said.
“It has to be a prank,” I said to the empty room. “Bob and Toby cooked this up to scare me on my first night. Well, I’m not falling for it.”
I did my first round of walking around on the outside walkway, looking for any sign of fires. We worked twelve-hour shifts, so I was working from seven am to seven pm. It was late summer and still warm enough to go without a jacket, at least on my first round. By the time I got to my fourth round, there was a chill in the air. I started doing my rounds from the inside and made a mental note to bring a jacket with me tomorrow.
It seemed odd to be talking about a jacket in late summer, but in the forest, the temperatures can vary wildly. It could be thirty degrees at night and eighty during the day.
I stepped back inside and saw my phone had lit up with a text message. I looked at it and it was Bob.
‘Did you read the rules yet?’
‘No,’ I texted back.
‘You don’t have much time.’
I knew this was a joke, it had to be a joke. The old timers pulling a fast one on the new guy, jerking his chain a little.
‘I’ll get right on it,’ I texted.
‘You better.’
I put my phone down and looked at the clock. It was ten minutes after ten. Outside was now completely dark, creating a very disconcerting illusion where when I would look outside, all I saw was my reflection. I decided to turn some lights off and go with just the bare minimum. That reduced the reflection some and I could see some trees outside.
I did a slow pan around, then grabbed a bag of chips and a soda, sat down, and worked on a crossword puzzle. That only lasted a half hour until I was bored with it. I picked up a book and started to read.
I woke sometime later, with my head resting on the back of the chair, chip crumbs all over my shirt, and the book laying on the floor.
I stretched and looked over at the clock. It read two-thirteen.
I jumped up, flinging the bag of chips to the floor, realizing I’d missed several checks, then ran around the room staring out at the trees. After my quick lap, I took a breath and did another slower lap to make sure there was no smoke. Thank God, there was none.
I chided myself for falling asleep on duty like that as I cleaned up my mess. I decided I should set an hourly alarm on my phone so that wouldn’t happen again.
When I picked up the phone I noticed there was a series of texts from Bob.
‘Did you read it yet?’
‘Why aren’t you answering?’
‘Are you alright?’
‘Don’t open the door for any reason.’
The last one sent chills down my spine.
Why would I open the door in the middle of the night?
As I was thinking this, another text came in.
‘For the love of God, read it!’
What the hell was wrong with this guy? Was he seriously losing sleep for a stupid joke?
I decided I would humor him and read the story. I opened my phone and went to the Reddit site. I had just signed up and put my information in when I heard static over the radio. I stepped to the receiver and checked it. Static blared out of it, making me jump as I heard a faint voice in it.
“Tower seven, do you read me?” I heard from a voice I could barely hear through the static.
I hesitated for a moment trying to remember if this was tower seven or not.
“Tower seven do you read me?” the voice said sounding a little more desperate.
I picked up the mic and keyed it.
“This is tower seven, go ahead.”
“It’s good to hear you tower seven,” the voice said suddenly clear. “I didn’t think you would answer.”
“Well, here I am, awake and alert, answering you,” I said. “What did you need?”
“I already have what I need,” the voice said sounding like it was chuckling. “I’d like to come visit if that’s alright.”
“Tower seven, this is base, who are you talking to?”
“I don’t know, someone on the radio,” I said into the mic.
“Seven, there’s no one else on this channel,” base said.
I got chills for a moment. What did that mean? How was I hearing someone that base couldn’t? Why would someone be calling now? Then it hit me that the base dispatcher was probably in on the joke too.
“Ok, base, maybe it was just some random transmission.”
“Tower seven,” the voice said. “Am I alright to come from a visit?”
I hesitated for a moment. What if it wasn’t a joke? Who the hell is walking through the forest at two thirty in the morning?
“Maybe we’ll do that visit another time,” I said.
“Visit?” base said. “What visit? Seven, you know it’s against policy to have visitors.”
“Yeah, sorry, base, I won’t be letting anyone visit.”
More static came over the radio. I could swear I could hear someone say something in the middle of it.
It sounded like, “We’ll see.”
I put down the mic and picked up my phone to read the story when I saw something off in the distance. It was a light, but it was hovering, like a helicopter. I switched my phone to camera mode, zoomed in, and took a picture. It was weird because the light was blue. I didn’t think helicopters had blue lights on them. Also, this light wasn’t flashing, it was solid the whole time. It came closer and I took another picture.
It floated even closer. It was mesmerizing. There was no sound. No hum, no whirring of tiny blades keeping it afloat like a drone, nothing. It was about the size of a basketball and glowing the most brilliant blue I’d ever seen. I reached out for it and it backed away from my hand. I took a step closer to the edge of the walkway, reaching out as far as my arm could stretch.
It backed away a few inches, just out of reach. I stood on my tiptoes, pushing against the railing trying to touch it. It moved away another inch.
I reached the tipping point and pinwheeled my arms to regain my balance and shove back against the railing.
I fell onto the walkway, landing hard on my backside and hitting the back of my head against the window. I looked up and the light was gone.
I shook my head, painfully stood up, and went back inside. I didn’t want to do a patrol but figured I’d better. After a slow walk around, I collapsed in the chair and set my alarm to go off in an hour.
After sitting there for a few minutes I could feel myself nodding off, so I opened my phone and started reading the story. After about ten minutes, I lowered my phone, eyes wide, hands shaking.
“It can’t be real,” I whispered. “It’s just a joke.”
I scrolled back through the story and re-read the rules.

1. Never, under any circumstances, leave the fire tower until you are relieved.
   
2. Turn off all lights between the hours of 2 and 3 am.
   
3. If you receive a radio transmission or phone call between those hours, do not answer.
   
4. If anyone knocks on the trapdoor during those hours tell them they’ll have to wait until morning. Do not open the door.
   
5. If you see a glowing object floating toward the tower, don’t look at it. Cover your eyes and count to 50. When you open your eyes it should be gone. If not, cover and count to 50 again.
   
6. If animals surround the tower don’t go down to look. Fire your flare gun into the air twice one minute apart, then lock yourself in the bathroom and hope for the best.
   My skepticism started to waver. How could they have known about those things, unless…
   

There was a powerful banging at the trapdoor that made me jump.
“Who is it?” I said.
No one answered.
I minute later, the pounding resumed. I searched for anything I could use as a weapon. Digging through the silverware drawer and finding an old, dull, paring knife, I backed as far away from the trapdoor as possible while staying inside. The pounding repeated. Somehow through the fear that coursed through my veins, I found my voice.
“You’ll have to come back in the morning,” I said.
“But I’m here now tower,” said the voice from the radio. “Let… me… in... ”
The last three words changed from asking to demanding. The voice also became deeper and more menacing.
I didn’t answer. I just slid down to the floor and hugged my knees holding the knife in front of me, silently searching through the story on my phone to see if there was something I missed, some way I could remedy the situation. But there was nothing, and the end of the story didn’t give me much hope.
I covered my ears and closed my eyes as the pounding continued now mixed with the voice that was going back and forth between pleading and threatening. It whispered then it screamed. It sound like a young boy, then it sounded demonic.
I rocked back and forth trying to keep some measure of sanity as the assault continued. I began to wonder how long the trapdoor would hold before whatever it was broke through.
Then suddenly it stopped.
As happy as I was that there was no more pounding and yelling, I didn’t trust it. My entire body was on pins and needles. It felt like the calm before the storm.
The fire tower shook. It felt like an earthquake, only different. I stood and went out to the walkway to see what was happening. When I looked down, I couldn’t believe it. The tower was surrounded by animals of all kinds. Deer, squirrels, bears, moose, any forest animal you could imagine, and even a couple I couldn’t and didn’t want to identify.
As I leaned over watching this strange menagerie, a moose rammed into one of the tower’s legs. It sent a shockwave through the entire metal framework. By the time it got up to me the tower was shaking so hard it made me lose my balance.
I toppled over the edge and fell. I threw my arm out attempting to catch the rail, but only touched it with my fingertips.
I knew I was falling to my death, there was no doubt. The wind rushing in my ears didn’t drown out the sound of my screaming. It sounded odd like I was listening to someone else scream. I closed my eyes, not wanting to know when the end was coming.
Suddenly something hit me hard in the ribs. I looked and I had hit a tree limb, but it didn’t stop me. The branch broke sending me falling again until I hit another branch. This one tore a gash on my leg as I flipped head over heels and fell again. The next branch grazed my head and made me see stars. I bounced off another branch hitting my shoulder, then took one to the knee, and landed flat on my back on the ground.
I lay there dazed, injured, but alive and surprised to be so. As I tried to regain my bearings, I saw the animals rushing over to me. I doubted they wanted me to pet them while they licked my wounds and cared for me while singing Disney songs.
I jumped up as pain rocked my body from more places than I wanted to think about. I hopped over to the tower steps and began my long arduous journey, just a half step away from a bunch of animals that seemed dead set on my destruction.
About halfway up I realized there was no more pursuit, so I slowed trying to conserve energy.
I got to the top, unlocked the hatch and tried to push it open. It took several tries to get enough strength while balancing on one leg standing on the tiniest of all the tiny steps. As soon as I got it open, I turned and slammed it shut, locking it.
I hobbled into the room, found the first aid box and struggled to get to the couch. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and forget this day ever happened.
I tried to easily lay myself down, but ended up collapsing in an excruciating heap.
Once down, I focused on bandaging the leg since it was losing the most blood. Once done, I proceeded to bandage all the rest of the areas that needed.
“How are you feeling, tower seven?” I heard the voice say over the radio.
I didn’t answer.
“Oh, come on now tower, don’t be like that,” it said. “Talk to me. Let me in and we’ll have a conversation.”
I lay there trying to think of anything other than pain and this voice.
“There has to be punishment for disobeying the rules.”
My blood ran cold. How did that thing know about the rules?
I reached into my pocket and was astonished that my phone was there. It had a cracked screen, but was usable. I texted Bob.
‘I’m alive, somehow. I broke half the rules without knowing it because I read the story too late.’
‘Are you alright?’
I took pictures of my bandaged leg that was wrapped but blood was still seeping through. I took pictures of my battered face, and my bruised ribs. I sent them all to Bob.
‘Good Lord, man, what did you do?’
‘I fell out of the tower.’
‘You did what?’
‘Was leaning over the edge of the walkway when one of the animals smashed into the support leg and shook the tower, knocking me over.’
‘How are you alive?’
‘Tree caught me.’
‘I’ll call the paramedics and come in early to relieve you.’
‘I’ll be laying here on the couch, bleeding.’
Then I added, ‘I’ll follow the rules from now on.’
There was static on the radio and a faint voice said, “You’d better.”
***
When Bob unlocked the hatch and led the EMTs in, he didn’t have that grin on his face.
“You ok, kid?” he said.
“Hunky dory, how about you?” I said laying on the cushions that were soaked in my own blood.
“He might be in shock,” one of the EMTs said.
My rescue was an adventure in itself. When they examined me they informed me that my leg was broken. I was sweating trying to go back down those steps with a splint on. I could just see me slipping near the top and falling again. There didn’t seem to be any trees close enough to catch me on this side.
Apparently, the EMTs seemed to be thinking the same thing. Someone came up with the brilliant idea of tying me to a backboard and trying to carry me down the steps. After two EMTs nearly fell, they decided to tie it to a rope and lower me like a sack of potatoes.
They rigged up a rope around one of the support poles for the walkway. Watching the rope scrape along the edges of the wood, fraying as it went was probably more terrifying than anything I’d experienced last night.
Floating in the air, spinning slowly didn’t help my fear of heights any. I decided to close my eyes and try to stay as still as possible so the balance wouldn’t be disturbed and slide me out of the end to fall to my death.
I was extremely grateful when the board hit the ground. My adrenaline finally crashed and I fell into a deep sleep as they loaded me into the ambulance.
***
Truth be told, I’m absolutely terrified to go back to the tower. It’s not like I have a lot of choices. Park ranger is a good paying job and sitting around watching for fires is about the easiest job I’ve ever heard of.
If you take away the supernatural voices, bizarre wildlife, strange lights, and the stairs of death.
I’m hoping paying attention to the rules will keep me safe.
I’m posting this as a warning. If your job has some strange rules, make sure you follow them, no matter how stupid you think they might be.

One hundred and forty-nine stairs. That’s how many there are to get up to the fire tower I’m posted at. I used to think getting up there meant safety. Now, I’m hoping it just means survival.
Climbing one hundred and forty-nine steps when you’re healthy is no small feat. When one of your legs has been torn to shreds, you’re bleeding from many places and you’re trying to get up there to wrap it, hoping there’s enough bandages so you don’t bleed to death, it’s a lot more difficult.
Then there are the stairs themselves which also count as a hazard when you have to hop up each one, causing pain to shoot through your injured leg. The stairs are skinny enough as they are, but the closer you get to the top, the smaller they get.
How do I know the exact number of steps? I counted them. I also counted which ones I miscalculated my jump, or brushed my foot against the step, or did something else that nearly sent me sailing over the rickety railing to my untimely death. The first time was one step number three, then fifteen, thirty-seven was a bad one, fifty-two, one oh seven, one-twenty, and finally one-forty-three. I guess it’s a good thing I’m deathly afraid of heights.
By now you may have figured out, I’m a park ranger. How did I end up playing this deadly game of hopscotch? It started a week ago when I got the job.
I was super excited, because I love working alone, and I love nature. What other job blends those two so well?
That excitement waned quite a bit when I arrived at the tower on my first day and looked up at those tiny metal steps I would have to climb to get to my job. The whole thing looked about as sturdy as if someone had built it with an erector set. I mean honestly, seeing surface rust on stairs that have to support your weight is terrifying, and I had to wonder how much I would be swaying when the wind really kicked up.
I wanted to close my eyes and just run up, but I didn’t dare. I paid attention to every single step, watching the metal bow under the weight of my foot, white-knuckling the railings as I went.
Finally, I reached the top and knocked on the trapdoor that had to be opened to let me in. I met the ranger who would be training me. His name was Bob, and he looked every bit how I envision a park ranger would look. Tall and thin, wiry but not scrawny, with a five o’clock shadow because he never had the time to shave properly.
Bob was one of those guys who seemed to always have a smirk on their face like they’ve just been told the greatest joke of all time, but they don’t want to let you in on it.
He spent the entire shift showing me around and then boring me to tears with all the little details of working in a fire tower. The place wasn’t bad. I was expecting an empty room with a card table and a radio, but this was nice. It reminded me of a small apartment or the inside of a small RV. There was a kitchenette with a microwave, sink, and minifridge. There was a couch and a couple of chairs, and most importantly, there was a bathroom.
At one point I thought there would be an outhouse at the base of the tower I would have to use. The thought of going down all those steps while holding number one or especially number two was something I didn’t even want to have nightmares about.
Just before the end of the shift, the next ranger came up. His name was Toby.
Toby looked nothing like I envisioned rangers looking like. He was overweight but made up for it by being under tall. He had a look of mischief in his eyes like a seventh grader who had just dropped a cherry bomb down the toilet and was trying to walk away looking nonchalant.
He smiled and shook my hand.
“So did Bob bore you to tears?” he said.
“Not quite to tears,” I said.
“Hey, I’m a good trainer,” Bob said looking offended yet still wearing that grin.
“Did you tell him everything?” Toby said.
“Pretty sure,” Bob said.
“Did you tell him about?” Toby leaned closer and whispered something in Bob’s ear that I couldn’t hear.
Bob’s grin grew.
“No, I didn’t tell him about that.”
“Maybe we should wait until he’s done training,” Toby said.
“What?” I said looking back and forth between them.
“We’ll tell you once you’re done job shadowing,” Bob said with that infuriating grin.
When we left, I was so focused on what they weren’t telling me, I nearly missed the first step and plunged to my death.
“Yeah, you’re gonna want to focus on those steps,” Bob said. “We had a coworker get hurt really bad because of them.”
“Is he ok now?”
Bob looked away.
Toby came over and volunteered, “He’s dead.”
That was definitely what I wanted to hear.
The next few days were a blur. Between total boredom with reading the procedure book and Bob grinning all the while refusing to tell me the big secret, I was getting super frustrated. I couldn’t wait for my first night working alone.
At least I had brought some supplies up to keep in the tower. Some snacks, a few books, and a tablet to make some notes on if I started writing a story.
Finally, the night came. I was working on my own for the first time. Surprisingly, Bob’s smile vanished as he told me.
“Did you ever read anything off of Reddit?” he said.
I shrugged.
“I don’t really read much other than books.”
“Sign up for Reddit, then go to the nosleep subreddit and look for a story called, ‘I was a park ranger stationed in a fire tower. It had a strange set of rules.’ Read that. It’ll tell you what to do.”
“Ok,” I said. “That’s the big secret? Read someone’s made-up story?”
“It might seem made up,” he said. “But trust me, follow the rules.”
I tried to read his expression to see if he was messing with me or not. In the five days I’d known him, there was never a time he wasn’t wearing that stupid grin, until now. His face was serious as a heart attack.
“Alright,” I said. “I’ll look it up later on my phone.”
“You really should do it as soon as I leave.”
“Ok.”
“Good luck.”
He stepped over to the door and went down the stairs. A few minutes later I heard his truck drive away.
“What the hell was that about?”
I stood in the middle of the room looking out at the beautiful trees, but not even seeing them. My mind was occupied by what Bob had said.
“It has to be a prank,” I said to the empty room. “Bob and Toby cooked this up to scare me on my first night. Well, I’m not falling for it.”
I did my first round of walking around on the outside walkway, looking for any sign of fires. We worked twelve-hour shifts, so I was working from seven am to seven pm. It was late summer and still warm enough to go without a jacket, at least on my first round. By the time I got to my fourth round, there was a chill in the air. I started doing my rounds from the inside and made a mental note to bring a jacket with me tomorrow.
It seemed odd to be talking about a jacket in late summer, but in the forest, the temperatures can vary wildly. It could be thirty degrees at night and eighty during the day.
I stepped back inside and saw my phone had lit up with a text message. I looked at it and it was Bob.
‘Did you read the rules yet?’
‘No,’ I texted back.
‘You don’t have much time.’
I knew this was a joke, it had to be a joke. The old timers pulling a fast one on the new guy, jerking his chain a little.
‘I’ll get right on it,’ I texted.
‘You better.’
I put my phone down and looked at the clock. It was ten minutes after ten. Outside was now completely dark, creating a very disconcerting illusion where when I would look outside, all I saw was my reflection. I decided to turn some lights off and go with just the bare minimum. That reduced the reflection some and I could see some trees outside.
I did a slow pan around, then grabbed a bag of chips and a soda, sat down, and worked on a crossword puzzle. That only lasted a half hour until I was bored with it. I picked up a book and started to read.
I woke sometime later, with my head resting on the back of the chair, chip crumbs all over my shirt, and the book laying on the floor.
I stretched and looked over at the clock. It read two-thirteen.
I jumped up, flinging the bag of chips to the floor, realizing I’d missed several checks, then ran around the room staring out at the trees. After my quick lap, I took a breath and did another slower lap to make sure there was no smoke. Thank God, there was none.
I chided myself for falling asleep on duty like that as I cleaned up my mess. I decided I should set an hourly alarm on my phone so that wouldn’t happen again.
When I picked up the phone I noticed there was a series of texts from Bob.
‘Did you read it yet?’
‘Why aren’t you answering?’
‘Are you alright?’
‘Don’t open the door for any reason.’
The last one sent chills down my spine.
Why would I open the door in the middle of the night?
As I was thinking this, another text came in.
‘For the love of God, read it!’
What the hell was wrong with this guy? Was he seriously losing sleep for a stupid joke?
I decided I would humor him and read the story. I opened my phone and went to the Reddit site. I had just signed up and put my information in when I heard static over the radio. I stepped to the receiver and checked it. Static blared out of it, making me jump as I heard a faint voice in it.
“Tower seven, do you read me?” I heard from a voice I could barely hear through the static.
I hesitated for a moment trying to remember if this was tower seven or not.
“Tower seven do you read me?” the voice said sounding a little more desperate.
I picked up the mic and keyed it.
“This is tower seven, go ahead.”
“It’s good to hear you tower seven,” the voice said suddenly clear. “I didn’t think you would answer.”
“Well, here I am, awake and alert, answering you,” I said. “What did you need?”
“I already have what I need,” the voice said sounding like it was chuckling. “I’d like to come visit if that’s alright.”
“Tower seven, this is base, who are you talking to?”
“I don’t know, someone on the radio,” I said into the mic.
“Seven, there’s no one else on this channel,” base said.
I got chills for a moment. What did that mean? How was I hearing someone that base couldn’t? Why would someone be calling now? Then it hit me that the base dispatcher was probably in on the joke too.
“Ok, base, maybe it was just some random transmission.”
“Tower seven,” the voice said. “Am I alright to come from a visit?”
I hesitated for a moment. What if it wasn’t a joke? Who the hell is walking through the forest at two thirty in the morning?
“Maybe we’ll do that visit another time,” I said.
“Visit?” base said. “What visit? Seven, you know it’s against policy to have visitors.”
“Yeah, sorry, base, I won’t be letting anyone visit.”
More static came over the radio. I could swear I could hear someone say something in the middle of it.
It sounded like, “We’ll see.”
I put down the mic and picked up my phone to read the story when I saw something off in the distance. It was a light, but it was hovering, like a helicopter. I switched my phone to camera mode, zoomed in, and took a picture. It was weird because the light was blue. I didn’t think helicopters had blue lights on them. Also, this light wasn’t flashing, it was solid the whole time. It came closer and I took another picture.
It floated even closer. It was mesmerizing. There was no sound. No hum, no whirring of tiny blades keeping it afloat like a drone, nothing. It was about the size of a basketball and glowing the most brilliant blue I’d ever seen. I reached out for it and it backed away from my hand. I took a step closer to the edge of the walkway, reaching out as far as my arm could stretch.
It backed away a few inches, just out of reach. I stood on my tiptoes, pushing against the railing trying to touch it. It moved away another inch.
I reached the tipping point and pinwheeled my arms to regain my balance and shove back against the railing.
I fell onto the walkway, landing hard on my backside and hitting the back of my head against the window. I looked up and the light was gone.
I shook my head, painfully stood up, and went back inside. I didn’t want to do a patrol but figured I’d better. After a slow walk around, I collapsed in the chair and set my alarm to go off in an hour.
After sitting there for a few minutes I could feel myself nodding off, so I opened my phone and started reading the story. After about ten minutes, I lowered my phone, eyes wide, hands shaking.
“It can’t be real,” I whispered. “It’s just a joke.”
I scrolled back through the story and re-read the rules.

1. Never, under any circumstances, leave the fire tower until you are relieved.
   
2. Turn off all lights between the hours of 2 and 3 am.
   
3. If you receive a radio transmission or phone call between those hours, do not answer.
   
4. If anyone knocks on the trapdoor during those hours tell them they’ll have to wait until morning. Do not open the door.
   
5. If you see a glowing object floating toward the tower, don’t look at it. Cover your eyes and count to 50. When you open your eyes it should be gone. If not, cover and count to 50 again.
   
6. If animals surround the tower don’t go down to look. Fire your flare gun into the air twice one minute apart, then lock yourself in the bathroom and hope for the best.
   My skepticism started to waver. How could they have known about those things, unless…
   

There was a powerful banging at the trapdoor that made me jump.
“Who is it?” I said.
No one answered.
I minute later, the pounding resumed. I searched for anything I could use as a weapon. Digging through the silverware drawer and finding an old, dull, paring knife, I backed as far away from the trapdoor as possible while staying inside. The pounding repeated. Somehow through the fear that coursed through my veins, I found my voice.
“You’ll have to come back in the morning,” I said.
“But I’m here now tower,” said the voice from the radio. “Let… me… in... ”
The last three words changed from asking to demanding. The voice also became deeper and more menacing.
I didn’t answer. I just slid down to the floor and hugged my knees holding the knife in front of me, silently searching through the story on my phone to see if there was something I missed, some way I could remedy the situation. But there was nothing, and the end of the story didn’t give me much hope.
I covered my ears and closed my eyes as the pounding continued now mixed with the voice that was going back and forth between pleading and threatening. It whispered then it screamed. It sound like a young boy, then it sounded demonic.
I rocked back and forth trying to keep some measure of sanity as the assault continued. I began to wonder how long the trapdoor would hold before whatever it was broke through.
Then suddenly it stopped.
As happy as I was that there was no more pounding and yelling, I didn’t trust it. My entire body was on pins and needles. It felt like the calm before the storm.
The fire tower shook. It felt like an earthquake, only different. I stood and went out to the walkway to see what was happening. When I looked down, I couldn’t believe it. The tower was surrounded by animals of all kinds. Deer, squirrels, bears, moose, any forest animal you could imagine, and even a couple I couldn’t and didn’t want to identify.
As I leaned over watching this strange menagerie, a moose rammed into one of the tower’s legs. It sent a shockwave through the entire metal framework. By the time it got up to me the tower was shaking so hard it made me lose my balance.
I toppled over the edge and fell. I threw my arm out attempting to catch the rail, but only touched it with my fingertips.
I knew I was falling to my death, there was no doubt. The wind rushing in my ears didn’t drown out the sound of my screaming. It sounded odd like I was listening to someone else scream. I closed my eyes, not wanting to know when the end was coming.
Suddenly something hit me hard in the ribs. I looked and I had hit a tree limb, but it didn’t stop me. The branch broke sending me falling again until I hit another branch. This one tore a gash on my leg as I flipped head over heels and fell again. The next branch grazed my head and made me see stars. I bounced off another branch hitting my shoulder, then took one to the knee, and landed flat on my back on the ground.
I lay there dazed, injured, but alive and surprised to be so. As I tried to regain my bearings, I saw the animals rushing over to me. I doubted they wanted me to pet them while they licked my wounds and cared for me while singing Disney songs.
I jumped up as pain rocked my body from more places than I wanted to think about. I hopped over to the tower steps and began my long arduous journey, just a half step away from a bunch of animals that seemed dead set on my destruction.
About halfway up I realized there was no more pursuit, so I slowed trying to conserve energy.
I got to the top, unlocked the hatch and tried to push it open. It took several tries to get enough strength while balancing on one leg standing on the tiniest of all the tiny steps. As soon as I got it open, I turned and slammed it shut, locking it.
I hobbled into the room, found the first aid box and struggled to get to the couch. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and forget this day ever happened.
I tried to easily lay myself down, but ended up collapsing in an excruciating heap.
Once down, I focused on bandaging the leg since it was losing the most blood. Once done, I proceeded to bandage all the rest of the areas that needed.
“How are you feeling, tower seven?” I heard the voice say over the radio.
I didn’t answer.
“Oh, come on now tower, don’t be like that,” it said. “Talk to me. Let me in and we’ll have a conversation.”
I lay there trying to think of anything other than pain and this voice.
“There has to be punishment for disobeying the rules.”
My blood ran cold. How did that thing know about the rules?
I reached into my pocket and was astonished that my phone was there. It had a cracked screen, but was usable. I texted Bob.
‘I’m alive, somehow. I broke half the rules without knowing it because I read the story too late.’
‘Are you alright?’
I took pictures of my bandaged leg that was wrapped but blood was still seeping through. I took pictures of my battered face, and my bruised ribs. I sent them all to Bob.
‘Good Lord, man, what did you do?’
‘I fell out of the tower.’
‘You did what?’
‘Was leaning over the edge of the walkway when one of the animals smashed into the support leg and shook the tower, knocking me over.’
‘How are you alive?’
‘Tree caught me.’
‘I’ll call the paramedics and come in early to relieve you.’
‘I’ll be laying here on the couch, bleeding.’
Then I added, ‘I’ll follow the rules from now on.’
There was static on the radio and a faint voice said, “You’d better.”
***
When Bob unlocked the hatch and led the EMTs in, he didn’t have that grin on his face.
“You ok, kid?” he said.
“Hunky dory, how about you?” I said laying on the cushions that were soaked in my own blood.
“He might be in shock,” one of the EMTs said.
My rescue was an adventure in itself. When they examined me they informed me that my leg was broken. I was sweating trying to go back down those steps with a splint on. I could just see me slipping near the top and falling again. There didn’t seem to be any trees close enough to catch me on this side.
Apparently, the EMTs seemed to be thinking the same thing. Someone came up with the brilliant idea of tying me to a backboard and trying to carry me down the steps. After two EMTs nearly fell, they decided to tie it to a rope and lower me like a sack of potatoes.
They rigged up a rope around one of the support poles for the walkway. Watching the rope scrape along the edges of the wood, fraying as it went was probably more terrifying than anything I’d experienced last night.
Floating in the air, spinning slowly didn’t help my fear of heights any. I decided to close my eyes and try to stay as still as possible so the balance wouldn’t be disturbed and slide me out of the end to fall to my death.
I was extremely grateful when the board hit the ground. My adrenaline finally crashed and I fell into a deep sleep as they loaded me into the ambulance.
***
Truth be told, I’m absolutely terrified to go back to the tower. It’s not like I have a lot of choices. Park ranger is a good paying job and sitting around watching for fires is about the easiest job I’ve ever heard of.
If you take away the supernatural voices, bizarre wildlife, strange lights, and the stairs of death.
I’m hoping paying attention to the rules will keep me safe.
I’m posting this as a warning. If your job has some strange rules, make sure you follow them, no matter how stupid you think they might be.

Hello everyone. I’m in the UK.
3 weeks ago I got a positive pregnancy test. We had been trying for a third baby since late 2022. It was a nice surprise as our two older boys are IVF babies.
Something about this pregnancy just felt really off. I noticed my pregnancy tests were not progressing at all.
I called my local early pregnancy unit and was assessed there. At the time I should’ve been around 5.5 weeks pregnant.
I knew from IVF that by then they should be able to see a sac but little else. I just wanted to confirm the pregnancy was in the right place.
The sonographer did a vaginal ultrasound and dug around for what seemed like forever. She eventually said she ‘thought’ she could see the start of a gestational sac in my womb but it would be less than 5 weeks so they wanted to do bloods.
My first HCG came back as 326.
My second one 48 hours later came back as 330. A very poor rise.
They told me they needed to draw more bloods to do another HCG 48 hours later. I have just had these bloods taken in the past hour and have returned home. They said I’d get a call with the results and next plan in the next 24 hours.
Only the issue is - my sister in law had an ectopic that randomly burst and nearly killed her. I’m absolutely terrified of this happening to me on account I’m alone tonight with my two toddler sons as my husband is working a night shift. I queried this in the EPU today whilst having the bloods drawn and they told me I’d definitely have symptoms before a rupture and I’d ‘know’ therefor could seek help via my husband and an emergency number. My husband fortunately works very nearby (only a 4-5 minute drive) but I’m worried if something ‘burst’ I wouldn’t even get chance to call him. My sons are my top priority here as they’re still so tiny, only babies really.
I keep getting on and off pain/twinges around my uterus and have done for a few days now. Nothing major but definitely there. We have no family nearby so it’s not an option for someone to just come and be with me tonight
Has anyone got any input? I’m so scared.
Thank you in advance.

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If this is still up then I haven’t found the person for me. And if you messaged me but I never got back to you, there is no harm in trying again!
——————————————————————————————
I thought I would post here and see what is out there again? (Reformatted/edited)
My number one deal breaker:
I cannot father - If you are not AT LEAST somewhat outgoing/extroverted, there is no point in messaging me. It is my deal breaker. I am incredibly introverted and shy and need someone who (AT LEAST LEANS TOWARDS) extroversion. If you feel like you aren’t sure if this applies to you, you can ask me in chat and I can let you know more of what I mean. It’s just too much text here and overwhelming for people.
Tiny Bit About You:
Please be taller than 5’10, please be 26+, career oriented is a plus, loves animals and cats, wants to be a vampire with me under the covers away from the sun, is outgoing, adventurous, talkative, open minded. Please no nicotine smokers. I don’t mind, occasionally weed or psychedelics, and don’t care if you drink. You actively are working on yourself everyday or at least trying to. And are open to letting someone special in emotionally.
Location:
I am from and reside in Toronto, ON. Of course I would love if someone was right here in Toronto as well! But you may be reading this and may be somewhere else. I am open to anyone in Canada. I am happy with a long distance relationship! I am also open to anyone in the U.S in the East Coast (ideally NY/MA/NH/Maine/Pennsylvania/Michigan/Vermont/Connecticut) as these are all easy to travel back and forth to (but let’s talk long term in chat)
A description of myself:
I’m 5’9, brown almond eyes that just look black, bbw/plus size, chubby cheeks, tan/olive undertones(?)/honey/bronze skin, 38B breast, full pink lips, nice straight teeth, currently blue glasses, one dimple, and medium/long brown&black wavy curly hair, and….I think that’s all!?
Yes, I am plus size, but I’m actively fixing my health and I do love everything with being healthy and whole, so I am looking for someone who is a healthy/into fitness and healthy lifestyle physically and emotionally.
I am an INFJ. And my love languages in order are physical touch, quality time, and words of affirmation.
Random thoughts not in order:
I’m seeking someone who craves, needs, adores, and wants a total power exchange dynamic. Someone who has fulfillment in controlling their partner both inside and outside the bedroom. - send me a random weather emoji so I know you read this post - You are my dominant daddy, it’s just how you are, it’s not a roleplay. You are the first person I go to for advice, wisdom, and just to talk. You don’t mind neediness and clinginess. You are silly and goofy; don’t take all of life too seriously. You “live it 24/7”.
I find someone career oriented very attractive (this doesn’t imply I’m looking for a $$ daddy because I AM NOT); you are driven, motivated, and want to succeed in life. I’m not ever looking to have kids, but I don’t hate them either.
Random interest and stuff wuff:
And perhaps any of the following resonate with you! Music, food, adventures, reading, animals, hiking, physical activity, being a coach potato, travelling, learning, educating yourself, cottage life, cats, video games, plants, BDSM, being a vampire with me away from the sun, cuddling, art, YouTube, sapiosexual, health and fitness, TV, superheroes, nerdiness, emotional growth, podcasts, true crime, sports, and lots of physical touch.
What I’m seeking without trying to type out a whole book though this whole post is a book:
I’m seeking my dominant daddy. I’m naturally submissive with a partner. It’s not an act. It’s not a roleplay. It’s just how I am. I enjoy and need rules, guidance, control, love, affection, and occasional pain. Someone to psychologically dominant me. Someone who craves to be my Daddy. - second one: if you read this far, send me an animal emoji - Ideally someone at least 5+ inches because I am addicted to penetration. You want / need / and crave to dominant your person just as much as they enjoy receiving it. This dynamic isn’t just the bedroom, but 24/7 outside the bedroom (eventually with time)
Quick Random Kinky Stuff Wuff:
Some kinky things I’m into (but not limited) include choking, face fucking, gags, sleep play, CNC, cum play, cuffs, anal, gags, ropes and ties, and much more.
In regards to hard limits, anything considered ‘extreme’ like blood, knives, diapers, needles, scat, vomit, etc etc, I will not participate in.
Ending:
I know this post is pretty much a book and it can be overwhelming. I’m happy to take things a bit at a time through chat to see if there is a fit. And I am looking for someone who will put in just as much effort as I have in this post.
and I have posted in the past on another account if my post/body description sounds familiar.

TLDR- don’t use Turkish
My partner called Turkish Airlines to make a change to his itinerary (paid the $150 change fee plus fare difference). They made a major mistake when updating the reservation and are now refusing to fix it. Their customer service is not helpful- they are entirely in turkey, struggle with English, and apparently have no way to escalate issues other than have you fill out a form and wait for a response that may or may not come. He has filled out said form, called to follow up, each time they say it’s been escalated and he will get a response within 24 hours. It has been 3 days and 3 calls and the same response each time. The person on the phone refuses to transfer or escalate the call at all. His outbound flight is supposed to be this week, has been booked for months, and he was just told by them that if they couldn’t resolve it in time he’d have to change his travel dates. How is that an acceptable response from a major international airline?
/rant. Don’t know what to do, we have never been thrown a complete wall like this by an airline that already has our money. He’s going all the way to the airport today to see if he can talk to someone at the ticket counter.
If you have any expectation or need to communicate with your airline after booking, I would not fly on Turkish, they do not have the infrastructure to help customers that are not literally in Istanbul.

Have gotten a job offer and would like to know your toughts as it’s my first offer.
1. PERSONALIA

• Age: 24
• Education: Industrial engineer (ing.) + Burgerlijk nuclear engineer (ir.)
• Work Experience : 0
• Civil status: Living with parents
• Dependent children (Kinderen ten laste/enfants à charge): none

2. TYPE OF CONTRACT

• Current job title/description: Consulting engineer
• (Ancienniteit/Anciennité): 0 years
• Official hours/week : 38 Real hours/week
• SectoIndustry: Nuclear sector

3. WAGE CONDITIONS

• Gross wage (brut): 2900
• Net wage (incl. net fees): 2200
• 13th month (full? partial?): full
• Mobile phone? Laptop?: laptop/mobile
• Meal vouchers: for each day worked
• Ecocheques: no
• Group Insurance (% part employer): yes
• Hospitalisation Insurance: yes
• Other advantages (bonus, 14th month, stocks...): bonus according to performance

4. MOBILITY

• City/region of work: Brussels
• Distance home-work (km's): 93
• Distance home-work (time): 1u20
• Do you need your own car?: no
• How is the travel home-work compensated:Full and can work on train if possible
• Company ca-bike (what's the budget, do you have fuel card?): free public transport, company car and fuel card.

5. OTHER CONDITIONS

• Amount of official holidays: 20
• (ADV, RTT) : 12
• Other extra holidays: none
• How easy can you plan a day off: depend on my personal schedule, but easily if it’s planned in advance.
• Shiftwork or daytime job? Daytime
• Flexible working hours: yes
• Amount of stress (standby for troubles at work)?: don’t know yet.
• Education possibilities: a lot internally
• Teleworking (besides corona-period): max 2 days a week of the agenda allow

I have had to have surgery on both. At this time I'm not allowed to go anywhere with my dog alone. ( according to husband and surgeon.)I'm so depressed. The hand situation did not heal properly because there is no way that I could leave my dog inside for the length of my recovery. Well I've learned a lesson and feel like God came down and bitch slapped me with a broken arm. I am super active and independent. It's a real wake up when I can't put on clothes,let alone bra would be impossible. Ugh This is the thing, I'm really unsure what to do? My dog is amazing. I have people that ask me at least once a month if I would consider selling him. He is a Catahoula, he is great with dogs,people,babies, you name it. Catahoula's are working dogs, I knew this when he was 8weeks and picked him up. He was planned. He is almost 5 years old. What the problem is both accidents happened at my house right in the front. The first one when I broke my pinky, shattered my knuckle on the finger next to it and spranged my wrist happened because the neighbor who lives next door has a horrible little dog that she used to let roam freely. It would come straight to my front window and terrorize my dog. We tried to get them friendly and her dog bit me, a trainer and my dog. My dog is 90 lbs muscle. Her dog is maybe 15 20lbs. Then her dog continued to get out and one day when my dog and I were leaving her dog bit me then my dog and I guess my dog had enough and he nearly killed her dog. Actually no blood but choked him out. She finally has stopped him from going outside off leash. We also found out that before this she has had at least two dogs put down for fighting her dog. So I know that I need to keep my dog safe. My dog is only reactive at my house. Perfect when he goes to his camp when out of town. They use my dog to vet potential new dogs to make sure they are safe. Great off leash. When I get home with him everyday its like going to hell. Her dog barks all day. He is renting space in my dogs head. Her dog is my alarm clock. It goes outside and starts barking and at that point my dog goes from sound asleep to on all 4's and starts howling until I let him outside in our backyard and then if her dog in out in the part of her yard that meets my yard the two dogs run up and down the fence. No grass grows in this area . It's a mud pile. All day it's non stop war. We have not had a run in with them in two years. My dog has NEVER ONCE,no accidents, nothing,ever been in our front yard with out his leash. If it would ever be his fault he would be put down by her. Or it would be a big fight. Actually he wouldn't because I'd hit the road. Or end up in jail. ( I've never been to jail and I'm a 50 yr old woman). So the first hand I was reading my mail sitting in my truck in my driveway like an idiot. My dog is always wrapped around my hand a million times. She opened her front door and let her dog out and who knows if she did it on purpose (because she does these type of things to make the situation worse and that is another long story,she is not mentally fit) however she had to get a front fence so her dog would not escape. Of course the fence is only 3ft tall so it has stopped her dog from coming over but if my dog gets loose, he could clear that fence in a heartbeat. So I'm vigilant and for the last 3.5 years he can't get away from me. Back to me being an idiot reading my mail, my dog lunged out of my truck, I caught major air and broke the shit out of my hand. Two weeks later had surgery on the knuckle because it was demolished. I do not have the type of dog that I can sit around with. If he does not get out 3 hours a day and do training,running,playing with other dogs then I will have an aggressive dog. If I skip a day my dog makes me pay for it. So I did not take as good of care as I should have after surgery and my knuckle is thrashed. The arm surgeon has said that he wouldn't touch it. I'm screwed for life. Not only is it still broken, I'm in a lot of pain. Then because that was my right arm , I was wrapping his leash when we leave around my left hand and we had left to go on a walk, she ( the neighbor )has cameras all over our yards and I don't really mind because it's to make sure that the dogs do not meet. Anyways I forgot my phone, my dog and I ran back in, and he is still wrapped around my left hand. She saw us leave, I don't think she saw us come back,she let her dog out and when I opened my front door,her dog barked, my dog took off like a bat out of hell and my left arm went through the door with my dog and I got caught inside and it snapped my arm. I thought I was going to die. It hurt really bad. I feel so sorry for myself. It literally crushed the bone. I have a metal plate from my palm to the middle of my arm. If I did not have surgery it was a cast for 6 weeks and possibly pain for life. With surgery it's this metal plate then in 2 weeks start physical therapy. Then surgery on the knuckle with the spring type device that I stretched the spring and now my finger is just broken and healing in the wrong direction. This does not allow pictures but when anybody looks at my hand they just make a sound that is like agony and pain. On top of all of this , I'm definitely a Tom boy but I've always taken care of myself. I do care about my appearance. I've always acted like I'm a lot younger than my age and I feel disgusted with myself. I can't shower. Taking a bath is challenging. My hair is a rats nest. I'm not good at asking for help. I'm proud. I'm not comfortable with people seeing me naked. I hate pain killers. Normally right now in our world doctors are hesitant to prescribe pain meds and I hate them but my doctors are begging me to take them and sit still. It's really hard. If you are still with me, thank you and I know this is long. I did not know how to ask a question with out a back story. This is my question.. Tomorrow night I have a trainer and a behaviorist coming over to help with my dog and see the situation. I've talked with them and told them what I've told you. I do not see what could have been trained into my dog that could have helped this. It was my fault. I should have been more vigilant in my truck reading the mail or should have been inside. I have control over my dog when I'm paying attention. It's hard but I've got him. My dog is always going to react to a squirrel, cat and the dog next door. The trainers even said it would be impossible to train it out of this type of breed. I'm not sure how familiar anyone reading this is with catahoula's but anyone who has one, a 100% catahoula knows that they are a different breed of dogs. He is the best dog I've ever had but he is a challenge and he was not a mistake. I wanted the challenge. It's been great up to this point. Does anyone have any ideas for me. From what to do during the day inside for mental stimulation? Also what should I concentrate on with the trainer? The neighbor will not do anything to help. She probably loves this. Sadly we have had letters in our mailbox about her dog and him being a nuisance. I can't get on board with mob mentality and I don't want her dog put down. I think she does love him.i don't get the 3ft fence and if tables were turned she would have been the person who started the letter about my dog. She would kill my dog herself if she could. Anyways she is going to be no help. Any ideas? Constructive criticism, anything that might help me I'd really appreciate. I'm at an all time low right now. I feel gross,look gross, pain,guilt,anger,soooooo mad at myself I could die. I was supposed to go home to help my parents,they are out of state and dad has lung cancer and mom is close to 80. They had to help me. I feel so awful. They don't need to be worrying about 50 year old daughter that acts like I'm a 12 year old boy. Ugh. Thanks again

Judgment Day 2007
Date: 20/5/07
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Two-out-of-Three Falls Match for the United States Championship:
MVP (c) vs Chris Benoit (2-0)
Women’s Championship:
Melina (c) vs Mickie James
Intercontinental Championship:
Bobby Lashley (c) vs Carlito
(Carlito hosts the Carlito Cabana and his guest is Bobby Lashley. Carlito says the way Bobby Lashley has disrespected Mr. McMahon is not cool but what will be cool is him winning the Intercontinental Championship. Lashley says Carlito just like Umaga can kiss Vince’s ass as much as he wants, it’s not going to result in him losing to a little punk like him.)
WWE World Tag Team Championship:
The Hardy Boyz (c) vs Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch
(After the match, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas attack The Hardy’s and it’s revealed they’ve reunited!)
Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship:
CM Punk (c) vs Elijah Burke
(Elijah Burke attacks CM Punk on ECW and says he’s not finished with him just because he pinned Marcus Cor Von at Backlash. Burke says he’s going to clean up ECW for Vince McMahon by getting the ECW Championship off him because Vince is right, Punk is a misfit who’ll never succeed in the WWE and is only the ECW champion through pure luck. Punk says not only is ECW the land of extreme but it’s also the land of misfits and it makes him and the ECW Championship the perfect marriage. Punk promises to not lose his title to a shameless ass kisser like Elijah Burke.)
World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs Mark Henry vs Batista
(After winning the World Heavyweight Championship, Edge says once again he’s proved he’s not only the best wrestler in the company but he’s also the smartest as he watched The Undertaker take the ultimate beating before cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase. Batista interrupts and tells Edge that he might think he’s smart but the reality is, he’s nothing but a coward who stole the World Heavyweight Championship and it won’t be long till he takes back what’s his. Mark Henry says not only is he back and took out The Undertaker, he’s going to destroy Batista again like he has before and will have no issue taking out Edge too because he has the one thing he really wants an opportunity at, the World Heavyweight Championship. Edge says both men have nothing to do with him and can stay away from his World Heavyweight Championship. However, Teddy Long disagrees and tells Edge that Batista and Mark Henry both have a case so Edge will defend his title against both men at Judgment Day. Edge is furious, already feels like Teddy Long has an agenda against him and demands to be traded back to Raw but Long denies Edge his request. During the match, Batista and Henry are so focused on beating the hell out of each other that it costs them as Edge hits a Spear out of nowhere on Batista and pins him to retain his championship.)
60 Minute Iron Man Match for the WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Shawn Michaels (6-5)
(Shawn Michaels says he had John Cena beat at Backlash and if he wasn’t lucky, he’d be the WWE Champion. Michaels then challenges Cena to defend the WWE Championship against him one more time at Judgment Day. Cena accepts the challenge because he’s a fighting champion. Michaels says he doesn’t want this to be an ordinary match and tells Cena he wants it to a match he won his first WWE Championship at WrestleMania 12, an Iron Man Match! Cena says that’s fine because Shawn Michaels is about to find out he isn’t the only iron man in the WWE. Cena also proposes for it to be for a full hour which Michaels accepts. This is essentially the match they had on Raw in London in real life but with a different outcome. John Cena wins 6-5 to retain the WWE Championship in all time classic. After the match as Shawn Michaels gets up and receives a standing ovation from the fans, Randy Orton from out of nowhere hits him with an RKO, beats the hell out of The Showstopper in front of his wife to the point he bleeds and punts him in the skull. This writes Michaels off TV.)
Notes:
(The WWE Draft takes place on the May 28th 2007 episode of Raw. The same picks as in real life occur apart from the fact Bobby Lashley doesn’t need to be drafted to Raw because he’s already a Raw superstar 😅.)
One Night Stand 2007
Date: 3/6/07
Location: Jackson Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, Florida
Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match for the WWE World Tag Team Championship:
The Hardy Boyz (c) vs The World’s Greatest Tag Team
Women’s Championship:
Mickie James (c) vs Candice Michelle
Intercontinental Championship:
Bobby Lashley (c) vs Carlito vs Umaga w/Armando Estrada
(Umaga wins the championship after pinning Carlito thanks to Shane McMahon attacking Bobby Lashley who was on verge of retaining his title.)
Street Fight:
Kane vs Mark Henry
(Kane goes after Mark Henry and promises there will be vengeance after what he did to his brother The Undertaker. Henry says Kane doesn’t intimidate him just like The Undertaker doesn’t and he’s just another man on his path of destruction.)
Stretcher Match:
Rob Van Dam vs Randy Orton
(This is Van Dam’s last match in the company for a while as he leaves for TNA.)
Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship:
CM Punk (c) vs Chris Benoit
(Vince McMahon says he’s confident for sure that CM Punk’s days as ECW champion are rightfully numbered because he’ll be defending his title against the new draft pick… Chris Benoit! Benoit says Punk’s a talented wrestler but he’s no Chris Benoit, the greatest technical wrestler on the planet. Punk says he has a huge level of respect for what Benoit’s accomplished in his wrestling career but he sees this as a massive opportunity to prove doubters like Vince McMahon wrong and he’ll ensure he does in what’s no doubt his biggest challenge since winning the ECW Championship. CM Punk wins clean to retain.)
Steel Cage Match for the World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs Batista
(Batista says that weasel Edge being the World Champion makes him sick and promises he’ll destroy him and take back the title. Edge says Batista doesn’t deserve another chance at the World Championship but Theodore Long disagrees and says Batista’s two one on one rematches for the title never had a definitive finish so he announces Edge will face Batista at One Night Stand and the match will be… a Steel Cage Match! Edge tries to convince Long to change the stipulation but Long isn’t having it and tells him he’s giving the fans what they want. Edge sneaks a chain into the match, smashes Batista over the head with it and escapes the cage to retain the World Heavyweight Championship.)
Falls Count Anywhere Match for the WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Booker T w/Sharmell
(After being drafted to Raw, Booker T immediately sets his sights on becoming the WWE Champion. Booker T says Raw is a far fairer run place with Jonathan Coachman in charge compared to SmackDown with Teddy Long. Booker T basically kissing the ass of Coachman is why he grants him the opportunity and Coachman also announces it’ll be a Falls Count Anywhere Match. Cena says he’ll punch Booker T’s teeth down his throat while still proving he’s the top dog in the company while Booker T promises to win the 1 title that’s eluded him in his legendary career.)
Note:
(Sadly, the Chris Benoit tragedy happens between the 22nd-24th of June 2007.)
My opinion on Chris Benoit:
(So, now we’re finally here in the timeline 😬. First of all I just want to say to those who may ask “why have you pushed a murderer?” In the timeline, I’m booking as if I’m in all these years. As a booker, how would I know in 2004 for example what’s going to unfold in 2007? That’s why Benoit is pushed. I’m not going to utterly bury him while he’s alive in the timeline. Now what I’m going to do here is bury him now the tragic events have unfolded. Chris Benoit in my opinion is one of the greatest technical wrestlers of all time, I will never dispute that. I was a huge fan of his and when he won the World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania 20, it was an unbelievable moment and the fact he celebrated with Eddie Guerrero topped it all off. However, what he did was unforgivable and anyone who has any conspiracy theories like he was framed, I’m sorry it’s just not true and the police investigated it properly. The facts are, Chris Benoit did murder his wife Nancy and his son Daniel. I don’t care about CTE or the fact he apparently had a year to live with an enlarged heart. As Paul Heyman said an interview once, f*ck him. The facts are that Chris Benoit murdered his wife, murdered his son and then proceeded to kill himself. The WWE will absolutely never put him in the Hall of Fame and that’s the correct decision because Benoit lost that respect when he did what he did. I personally hope he rots and this is the last he’ll ever be mentioned in this timeline. I want to lastly say to finish this off, my heart goes out to those affected by this tragedy back in 2007 and Rest in Peace to Nancy and Daniel Benoit ❤️.)
Vengeance: Night of Champions 2007
Date: 24/6/07
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
United States Championship:
MVP (c) vs Ric Flair
Cruiserweight Championship:
Chavo Guerrero (c) vs Jamie Noble
WWE World Tag Team Championship:
The World’s Greatest Tag Team (c) vs The Hardy Boyz
Women’s Championship:
Candice Michelle (c) vs Mickie James
Intercontinental Championship:
Umaga (c) vs Santino Marella
Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship:
CM Punk (c) vs Johnny Nitro
(Johnny Nitro surprisingly replaces The Invisible Man and challenges CM Punk for the ECW Championship when he wasn’t prepared for him. Nitro cheats to win the championship off of Punk, much to the satisfaction of Mr. McMahon.)
WWE Tag Team Championship:
Deuce ‘n Domino (c) w/Cherry vs Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore
Last Chance Match for the World Heavyweight Championship - If Edge is counted out of disqualified, he’ll lose the World Heavyweight Championship:
Edge (c) vs Batista
(After One Night Stand, Batista asks Teddy Long for one more opportunity after Edge’s cowardly acts at One Night Stand. Edge tells Teddy to give Batista the match on one condition, if Batista loses he can never challenge for the title as long as he’s champion. Teddy Long grants Edge his request but also tells him if he gets counted out or disqualified, he’ll lose the World Heavyweight Championship to Batista. During the match, there’s a referee bump and Batista is getting ready to finish this until The Great Khali appears and lays out The Animal! Edge capitalises when the referee regains consciousness and pins Batista to retain the World Heavyweight Championship.)
Six-Pack Challenge Match for the WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Carlito vs Mr.Kennedy vs Randy Orton vs Booker T w/Sharmell vs Bobby Lashley
(All 5 men make a case to be the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship. John Cena says he’ll welcome all comers to prove he’s the man. Jonathan Coachman tells Cena to be careful what he wishes for because at Night of Champions, he’ll be defending the WWE Title against all of them! John Cena retains the WWE Championship after pinning Carlito. After the match, Bobby Lashley stares down Cena as Night of Champions draws to a close.)
Notes:
(Edge tears his pectoral muscle, is put on the shelf for a while and is forced to surrender the World Heavyweight Championship.)
(Mark Henry wins a Battle Royal on the July 20th, 2007 episode of SmackDown to win the World Heavyweight Championship!)
The Great American Bash 2007
Date: 22/7/07
Location: HP Pavilion San Jose, California
WWE Tag Team Championship:
Deuce ‘n Domino (c) vs Matt Hardy & MVP
(Matt Hardy hates MVP and wants his United States Championship but they get paired as partners and are told to co-exist by Mr. McMahon who also rewards them with a Tag Team Championship match at The Great American Bash. Hardy and MVP win the titles.)
Cruiserweight Championship:
Chavo Guerrero (c) vs Super Crazy
Intercontinental Championship:
Umaga (c) vs Jeff Hardy
Batista vs The Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh
Women’s Championship:
Candice Michelle (c) vs Melina
Extreme Rules Match for the ECW Championship:
John Morrison (c) vs CM Punk
(CM Punk invokes his rematch clause for the ECW Championship. Vince McMahon tries to deny Punk the opportunity to win the title back but CM Punk tells him if he even dares to deny him his rematch then he’ll sue him because it’s a contractual obligation meaning McMahon has no choice but to let Punk compete for the ECW Championship. The newly named John Morrison who’s leaving Johnny Nitro behind tells Vince to not worry, he’ll take care of business for him which Vince gives him the vote of confidence. Punk says this time he’s ready for Morrison unlike at Night of Champions and will become a 2 time ECW Champion. Morrison says even prepared, he’s just too good for Punk. John Morrison cheats to retain the title after hitting Punk with brass knuckles when the referee isn’t looking.)
World Heavyweight Championship:
Mark Henry (c) vs Kane
(Teddy Long announces that Mark Henry will defend his title against Kane at The Great American Bash because Kane had earned an opportunity to fight for the World Championship when Edge was champion. Kane says that he’s got unfinished business with Henry and revenge will be sweeter when he wins the World Heavyweight Championship. Henry says Kane will once again feel his wrath just like his brother The Undertaker and Batista have.)
WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Bobby Lashley
(Bobby Lashley wins a Fatal 4-Way match against Booker T, Randy Orton and Mr.Kennedy in order to face John Cena at The Great American Bash. Lashley tells Cena that he respects his dedication and desire but when push comes to shove, he has no hesitation breaking him in half if it means he wins the WWE Championship. Cena says Lashley is an incredible athlete who’s unbelievably gifted but he’s going to show the whole world that Lashley’s time isn’t now the way a lot of people think it is. John Cena retains after delivering an FU from the top rope and both men shake hands after the match. When Cena’s alone in the ring, Randy Orton from out of nowhere delivers an RKO to Cena and holds up the WWE Championship as the show draws to a close.)
Note:
(Bobby Lashley gets injured not long after this event and leaves the company in early 2008.)
SummerSlam 2007
Date: 26/8/07
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Ladder Match for the ECW Championship:
John Morrison (c) vs CM Punk
(CM Punk demands one more match for the ECW Championship against John Morrison which Morrison insists to Vince McMahon to allow his request. Morrison gives Vince an idea for what type of match it’ll be. Vince likes the idea and announces CM Punk will faces John Morrison in… A Ladder Match! John Morrison says he’s the prince of parkour and CM Punk's ambition of being the ECW Champion again will be crushed by him for good. Punk promises to become and 2 time ECW champion while also ensuring Morrison has no teeth after the match. CM Punk wins to become a 2 time ECW Champion.)
WWE World Tag Team Championship:
World’s Greatest Tag Team (c) vs Paul London & Brian Kendrick
Cruiserweight Championship:
Chavo Guerrero (c) vs Rey Mysterio
(Teddy Long tells Chavo Guerrero he’ll defend his Cruiserweight Championship at SummerSlam against… Rey Mysterio! Chavo says he’s been waiting for Rey’s return and at the event he cost him the World Heavyweight Championship the year before, he’s going to make sure he puts Rey back on the shelf again but this time for good. Rey Mysterio wins the title and retires the Cruiserweight Championship on the SmackDown after SummerSlam.)
Intercontinental Championship:
Umaga (c) vs Jeff Hardy
Women’s Championship:
Candice Michelle (c) vs Melina vs Mickie James vs Beth Phoenix
Triple H vs Booker T w/Sharmell
(Vignettes start to show that Triple H is returning to the WWE after another Quad injury. Booker T being aware of this challenges Triple H to a match at SummerSlam. Booker T’s motives are simple, Triple H once made his life a living hell and he wants to get revenge he never truly got. Booker T promises to put Triple H back on the shelf and embarrass him on his return. Triple H wins in a 10 minute match and Booker T leaves the company after this match.)
World Heavyweight Championship:
Mark Henry (c) vs Batista
(A one on one match that’s a long time in the making. Batista wins a #1 Contender’s Match against Kane and says this is a match he’s wanted for a while because he’s never fully gotten revenge on Mark Henry for putting him out of action which forced him to surrender the World Heavyweight Championship. Henry says he’s also been waiting for full revenge after Batista also cost him a year of his career when he came back and assaulted him. Both men brawl whenever they see each other in the build up. During the match when Henry’s on top… GONG! The lights come back on but Taker doesn’t appear. Henry then receives a Spinebuster from Batista and The Animal pins him to win the World Heavyweight Championship!)
WWE Championship:
John Cena (c) vs Randy Orton
(First time ever in a one on one capacity. Randy Orton says while Cena has been on top for the last few years, he’s always avoided facing him one on one and tells him the reason he does is because he knows The Legend Killer is better than him! Cena tells Orton to stop talking out of his ass and if he wants to fight him, he’s ready for the challenge and just like the others, Randy Orton will be on his list of guys he beat. Randy Orton cheats when the referee isn’t looking by hitting Cena with a low blow. Orton then delivers an RKO and pins John Cena to win the WWE Championship!)
Notes:
(Batista beats Mark Henry in a Street Fight on SmackDown to retain the World Heavyweight Championship in Henry’s rematch clause. The Undertaker’s Gong once again provides a distraction to Henry and there’s also a message on the titantron that reads “The dead will rise, September 16th 2007… RIP Mark Henry!”)
And that’s part 45! I hope you guys enjoyed this part. I’d like to add that I hope you don’t mind my passionate opinion on the man who shall not be named from now on. Anyways, enough of me dwelling about that! I’ll be back very soon to cover the rest of 2007 where we’ll see a few stars return, The Age of Orton begin on Raw and John Cena go down with an injury. Stay safe and stay tuned!

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