beautiful car I pass on my way to work every day. Figured I'd show it to this subreddit

PA/NJ, USA - My fiancé was convicted of a DUI in April and now has to pay a fine, attend a mandatory class, and have an interlock ignition device installed on any vehicle he regularly operates and owns. We own 3 vehicles: one his mom uses (solely his name), one I typically use (in both names), and one he typically uses (solely my name). The DUI actually occurred in NJ. Is he absolutely required to have the IID installed on all 3 vehicles? Could I be liable if it is or isn't installed on the vehicle I own?
The other thing is he recently totaled both the cars he and I use on a daily basis a month apart. Both accidents were not related to the DUI. The second one involved the vehicle I normally use. It happened to be 2 days after his court date where he was told he needs to have the IID while driving in NJ. He rear-ended a truck. We did not report it immediately because we only have liability coverage and we knew we would have to do the repairs ourselves. Our vehicle most likely would have been totaled. A month after the accident, the other party filed a bodily injury claim saying the driver and all passengers were injured, and at the same time I was informed that their vehicle was also totaled. We have minimum coverage in all aspects of insurance.
We own a home together that is not paid off. We also have a joint bank account that pays all the bills. I'm worried that I could be liable for all of his mistakes. Could I be stuck paying for things related to his DUI and the bodily injury claim? Is my house at risk?

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Movies! Here are options for downloading or watching You Hurt My Feelings streaming the full movie online for free on 123movies & Reddit, including where to watch the anticipated Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Nicole Holofcener team up for a new comedy movie at home. Is You Hurt My Feelings 2023 available to stream? Is watching You Hurt My Feelings on HBO Max, Netflix, Disney Plus or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option/service.

Watch Now🔴You Hurt My Feelings Online Free

A new comedy by A24 is coming our way this summer! You Hurt My Feelings was written, directed, and produced by Nicole Holofcener. The film is also produced by Anthony Bregman, Stefanie Azpiazu, and Julia Louis-Dreyfu.
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Romantic comedies are always about finding your true love, but Nicole Holofcener has stood out in her career because her movies often focus on the struggles of maintaining or rediscovering love later in life. That once again looks to be the case in her new movie, You Hurt My Feelings, where she teams up with Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
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While the movie is written and directed by Holofcener, it also has another big name in Hollywood right now behind it — studio A24. The producedistributor has long been known for its acclaimed entries that offer something different than the typical superhero/franchise fare of many other Hollywood studios. A24 has been on a particularly hot streak of late, with its 2022 movie Everything Everywhere All at Once winning Best Picture, as well as a slew of other movies earning awards and strong box office numbers. Will You Hurt My Feelings keep that momentum going?
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Already intrigued? We know you are, and we also know you're wondering how you can watch and stream You Hurt My Feelings from the comfort of your own home. Luckily, we did some research and have an idea of when this will happen.
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Fasten your seatbelt, because here's where you can watch and stream You Hurt My Feelings online.
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You Hurt My Feelings release date
After premiering at the 2023 Sundance Film Festival in January, You Hurt My Feelings arrives in theaters for US audiences on May 26, which is the Friday of Memorial Day weekend.
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The comedy is going to be an alternative to the usual summer blockbuster fare, including in its opening weekend, going up against The Little Mermaid and the broad comedy About My Father.
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You Hurt My Feelings is also just one of many A24 movies set to come out in 2023, joining Beau Is Afraid, Past Lives and Talk to Me.
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Where To Watch You Hurt My Feelings:
As of now, the only way to watch You Hurt My Feelings is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on Friday, May 26. You can find local shows on Fandango, IMAX, Regal, AMC Theatres, Cinemark, Cineplex, Landmark Theatres, Alamo Drafthouse and Harkins Theatres.
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Watch Now: You Hurt My Feelings (2023) Online Free
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Otherwise, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Paramount, Vudu, YouTube and Apple, or become available to stream on Amazon Prime Video.
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Is You Hurt My Feelings streaming?
No, You Hurt My Feelings isn’t streaming right now. It is exclusively available in cinemas after its wide theatrical release on May 26, 2023.
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Since A24 is set to share a digital release date, we can only speculate as to when it may be available to watch at home.
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Looking at Aster’s previous movies, both of which were also backed by A24, Hereditary had a wide theatrical release on June 8, 2018, while it became available to rent or buy on Amazon Prime Video and other platforms on August 21, 2018.
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Meanwhile, the director’s cut of Midsommar dropped in cinemas on August 30, 2019, before streaming on September 24, 2019.
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Aside from Aster’s projects, A24’s Oscar-winning hits Everything Everywhere All at Once and The Whale had a wide theatrical release on April 8, 2022, and December 21, 2022, respectively.
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The Michelle Yeoh-starring movie became available for streaming on June 7, 2022, while the Brendan Fraser-led drama didn’t come out until March 14, 2023.
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If you put all of these together, this averages out to just under two months – but it’s likely set to follow Aster’s previous flicks, meaning the wait might not be quite so long. We’ll be sure to keep you posted when updates roll in.
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Is You Hurt My Feelings Streaming on HBO Max?
No, You Hurt My Feelings will not be on HBO Max since it is not a Warner Bros. movie. Last year, the company dropped its movies on the streamer the same day they premiered in theaters. However, they have since stopped and like many others, started allowing a 45-day window between the theatrical debut and the streaming release.
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Is You Hurt My Feelings on Netflix?
No, You Hurt My Feelings will not be on Netflix. However, it is possible that it will make it to the streaming giant eventually seeing as it’s home to other A24 movies like Uncut Gems. Until then, you’ll just have to head out to theaters or wait until it becomes available on digital.
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Is You Hurt My Feelings Available On Hulu?
Viewers are saying that they want to view the new animation movie You Hurt My Feelings on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. It will be exclusive to the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
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Is You Hurt My Feelings on Amazon Prime?
We hate to tell you that ‘You Hurt My Feelings’ is not included in Amazon Prime’s library. But you can still make the most of your subscription by turning to other alternatives that the streaming giant houses, such as ‘Prisoner X‘ and ‘The Prison.’
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When Will You Hurt My Feelings Be on DVD and Blu-ray?
As of now, there is no set date last to when You Hurt My Feelings will be available on Blu-ray and DVD, but we'll keep you updated once we know more about when the film will be available on physical media.
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How to Watch You Hurt My Feelings Online For Free?
Most Viewed, Most Favorite, Top Rating, Top IMDb movies online. Here we can download and watch 123movies movies offline. 123Movies website is the best alternative to You Hurt My Feelings (2023) free online. We will recommend 123Movies is the best Solarmovie alternatives.
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There are a few ways to watch You Hurt My Feelings online in the U.S. You can use a streaming service such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video. You can also rent or buy the movie on iTunes or Google Play. You can also watch it on-demand or on a streaming app available on your TV or streaming device if you have cable.
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You Hurt My Feelings cast
Julia Louis-Dreyfus headlines You Hurt My Feelings as novelist Beth. This is a reunion for Louis-Dreyfus and Holofcener, as the two previously worked together on the 2013 movie Enough Said. Of course, Louis-Dreyfus is best known for her TV roles as Elaine on Seinfeld and Selina Meyer on Veep, but she has also starred in The New Adventures of Old Christine, Downhill, You People and has a recurring role in the MCU as Valentina Allegra de Fontaine.
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Playing Beth's husband Don is Tobias Menzies. Many viewers will likely know Menzies from either his role as Prince Philip for two seasons on The Crown or in Outlander, though he has also appeared in big-name shows like Game of Thrones, Rome and The Terror.
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Other members of the You Hurt My Feelings cast include Michaela Watkins (Enlightened) as Beth's sister Sarah, Owen Teague (Mrs. Fletcher) as Beth's son Elliot, Arian Moyaed (Succession) as Sarah's husband Mark and Jeannie Berlin (Succession) as Beth's mother Georgia. Also appearing in the movie are David Cross, Amber Tamblyn, Zach Cherry, LaTanya Richardson Jackson and Sarah Steele.
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What Is You Hurt My Feelings About?
Nicole Holofcener has distinguished herself in her career by centering many of her works that deal with the challenges of sustaining or rediscovering love in later life. This appears to be the same situation for You Hurt My Feelings which tells the story of a woman and her husband, focusing on their relationship over the years. The couple’s apparent happy life takes a hit when their little white lies are revealed to each other.

Hi, I'm Spoon, 37yo male living in New England so I'm EST. I'm a published author and if you let me I will talk your ear off about that. I write in 3rd person past tense as I find it really weird to try and become my characters. I guess I need that separation in my life.
I love creating characters. I love worldbuilding and creating all sorts of drama for our characters to navigate. I like all sorts of things from wholesome hallmark type romances to darker stories that belong on investigation discovery. I adapt my style to fit my partner. You like quick rapid fire responses throughout the day? I got you. You like longer novella responses I also got you.
What I would like from you: Be over 18 though if you're in your late 20's to 30's its prob best Respond in 3rd person I'm looking for a longterm partner and friend Be friends ooc, lets gush about our characters, post mood boards and music. Lets get involved in the story, laugh, cry etc
I have a few partners already and I'm not looking to replace anyone. That being said these are a few ideas I would like to explore. The skin of a killer: So, I’m really into twilight but unfortunately I thought Edward was awful #teamjacob. My idea is after Edward leaves he stays gone. Bella obviously goes through it just like she did in the story. Jacob helps her come out of it but ultimately gets friendzoned. My character would be an older vampire who unlike the others we have seen in the series is more of a loner. Years ago he befriended Carlisle. Upon meeting Carlisle again he is asked to go to Forks to check in on Bella and assure Edward that she is OK. He’ll show up and well we’ll start from there. The fight of your life: My character is Jeremy Draven. He’s a pro boxer and former olympian. The only problem is he’s never made it to the big show. There’s a lot going on. His father left when he was 16 and his younger brother hates him for it. His manager is stealing all of his money but Jeremy doesn’t suspect anything. He’s a big dummy with a heart of gold who just needs someone to support him. The wrestler: I’m really into pro wrestling (WWE) I love the story and the drama. My idea for the roleplay is that I would play an indie wrestler trying to get noticed by the scouts. Maybe your character is a fan, maybe she thinks wrestling is ridiculous. This story is one of a struggle. He’s dirt poor and wrestling three times a week for absolutely nothing. I’m in love with a stripper: This one is pretty straight forward. Your character is a dancer, why she is doing it is up to you. My character is in a local band. He’s very sex drugs and rock and roll but one night he goes to the club and sees her. She quickly becomes his muse. Home on the range: In this story my character owns a ranch in rural montana, he’s a bachelor who has struck out on love. Is your character a local girl? A tourist? That we can figure out but this prompt would be very hallmark. The pauper knight: My character is a lesser lord in medieval England. The problem is that he was not born to this position so his peers hate him. He is illiterate and uneducated but he is a skilled fighter who excels at the tournaments. His holdings at Beeston are very meager.

I know it's not exactly fan art, but it's the most fitting for this kind of thing. Another fanfiction has it as its flair when it was posted here. Anyway, this is my output for the OnK fanfic train. I hope you guys enjoy! The link to the fanfiction.net page will be at the bottom.
***
With the rise of violence against celebrities also comes the rise of elements that protect against them. A rookie agent finds himself assigned to a famous idol with a promise to defend. And what was supposed to be a training assignment would eventually grow to so much more.
***
The young man grumbled as he trudged the halls of his home towards his father’s office. His hand would rake through his black hair in his face in annoyance while his two emerald eyes with four-point star-shaped irises focused forward. He already knew what was gonna happen and he wished he could refuse. He had been hoping to devote his time to honing his gaming skills with the hope of maybe one day joining a pro-E-sports team. But, because his father was an old man with a small scope of the modern world, he laughed and told him to do something real with his life. And something real meant taking over the family business one day.
Kurosawa Security Services, or simply KSS, is a Japanese family-owned security company based in Kyoto although they have offices all over the country and even abroad. KSS provides everything from security guards for convenience stores to close protection agents for top government figures. They can also provide security consultation and training. The service is rated as the best Japan has to offer with highly trained agents. KSS agents regularly train with the police and military elements like the Security Police and Special Forces Group. And in rare occasions, they would even train with the US Secret Service abroad. KSS is also the best because of the long history of the organization which dates back to the feudal era when Kurosawa Saitō picked up the sword and protected the local Daimyo from an attack. In other words, they had a long time to hone their craft.
Now, what makes a security company like KSS so big in a country where crime is almost non-existent? Isn’t Japan a safe nation? Those would be your first mistakes if you thought of them. It doesn’t matter which part of the world you’re on, good and evil exist everywhere. And good must be protected from evil. That’s why KSS exists.
And soon enough, the company will be in Akio’s hands when it's his father’s time to retire. That’s how the system works, despite what he thinks of it. So, now his ultimate tests will begin. His first assignment.
After walking for what seemed like hours he reached a pair of large doors. He knocked on them and was asked to come in by a voice on the other side, so he complied. Entering, he was greeted with a fairly large office for only one man. And that man was currently seated behind a desk reading through some papers.
“Hey, Dad,” He greeted as he sat down on one of the chairs before across from him.
Kurosawa Tadao put the papers down and then looked at his son before smiling. He was an aging man with black hair that was already greying and blue eyes that had four-point star-shaped irises.
“Hey, Son! How’re ‘ya doing?” He asked.
“Just fine. I was finally getting my KDR up in Black Ops and I was planning on getting my skills up in CSGO later. But, here we are,” Akio answered.
“Staying inside is not good for your body you know.”
“I planned to play basketball tomorrow and I have band with the boys this weekend.”
“It’s still unhealthy because it’s exactly anything productive. You’re 17, Son, you need to start shaping up for your career,” Tadao said.
“I’ve been shaping it up since I was five,” Akio muttered.
“And that’s why we’re here right now. Your first assignment, son! It’s the moment of truth! Aren’t you excited?” Tadao asked with a wide grin as he picked up a folder from the side.
“No, not really,” Akio answered flatly.
“Well, maybe you’ll be excited once you find out who I’m assigning you to. Spoiler alert, she’s an idol,” He said with a grin, whispering that last part as he handed him the file.
“I’m not into idols, Dad,” He said flatly as he took the file.
“Your little brother a good chunk of this company’s personnel, and hell, a good chunk of the population are though,” He commented.
“That doesn’t make sense. Everyone can have different interests. And Goro, well, I guess being tied to a hospital bed for years does that to you,” He said sadly.
“You’re one weird kid, you know.”
“Well, I was raised by the likes of you, Dad,” Akio retorted with a sly grin which made his father laugh.
“Well, you got me there,” He chuckled and promptly silenced himself to let his son read.
“Hoshino Ai? Never heard of her. Although I admit she is pretty cute,” He mumbled as read through the file with her picture on it. He took in her personal information like date of birth, age, physical appearance, and all the usual things. And then he got to a part that listed her status— “What the fuck?! She’s pregnant?!”
“Language, Akio!” Tadao scolded. “Anyway, officially, she’ll be taking a break from showbiz for a while due to ill health. Actually, she’s pregnant and they’re trying to keep it under wraps. Bad for business, because a lot of fans are a bunch of lonely losers, they’ll drop her just because she has kids.”
“Language, Dad,” Akio retorted and shook his head. “Well, teen pregnancy is bad, but it’s unfair for her to be hated for that reason.”
“Yeah, the life of a celebrity is a lot shittier than most people would think. I know, your mother was a singer, she dealt with that too when we were found out,” Tadao said with a frown before smiling a bit. “She
“Please don’t tell me about your romances, Dad,” Akio cringed. “Anyway, Hoshino-sama will be my protectee, huh?”
“Yes. She’ll be heading here with her management agency soon to settle the contract. And then you’ll be heading to the countryside where she can lay low until she gives birth. That’s the basics of it.”
“Alright. Babysit a pregnant teenager and keep her from doing anything dumb. Should be easy enough,” He said.
“Do not underestimate the dangers tied to the entertainment world, Akio,” Tadao reminded. “As I’ve said, a lot of them are a bunch of lonely losers or generally just of questionable character. Some of them will go to great lengths just for attention. Fans can get really wacky after all. It’s already happened before. Not to mention, all the snakes in the industry. Someone might want to up their game so they think about eliminating the competition. You get the point.”
“I’m very aware, Dad, don’t worry,” He assured then sighed. “Just doing this and my studies at the same time? What am I gonna do?”
“That’s rich coming from someone who was planning on just lazing around all day. Besides, you’ve been homeschooling for more than a year already, right? I’m sure you can get a read in every day without compromising your job.”
“Well, it’s not impossible, but it’s gonna suck,” He said then sighed. “Alright, I’ve got this. Not much of a choice anyway. Anything else I should know?”
“Yeah. Remember this, you do not ever let your protectee out of your sight. Wherever she goes, you go. That being said, don’t be too overbearing, and make sure to give her room to breathe. She is a woman, she will want her space. Also, try not to set such a tight atmosphere. Try being her friend, and she’ll be easier to work with. Tomita will meet you tomorrow too to evaluate you. You’ll also be reporting to him your progress during your task.”
“Noted, Dad. In that case,” Akio stood then positioned himself directly in front of the table before bowing. “I shall see this task to the end.”
***
Idol music was not his cup of tea and Hoshino Ai was a complete stranger to him till that moment. He’d spend a whole week with the pre-preparations with one of the senior agents until it was time to meet the latest customers. Then he would meet Hoshino Ai for the first time and they’d make their first impressions of one another.
***
“Are you really sure about this?”
“We’re going to need a shield just in case. Lot’s of wackos around here. Besides, we’ve already agreed to meet.”
“It’s just, there’s a lot of shady dealings in the security world.”
“Are we any better? Besides, KSS is the best this country can offer. I also know the company head personally too, we went to high school together, and he owes me. We’ll be just fine.”
“Um, o-okay…”
“I didn’t understand any of that, but okay!”
“Never change, Ai…”
How do you keep a secret from the world? Simple: you lie. You lie a lot. But then you realize it’s not so simple and every day is spent with fear that everything might fall apart. Just trying to get anywhere was a massive undertaking. For example, right now. Two adults and a pregnant teen in a car. Aside from the teen pregnancy, there’s nothing strange at all about it. But if you knew who the car’s passengers were, then you’d immediately understand.
After a couple of hours of driving (making occasional turns to make sure they weren’t followed and consequently getting lost a couple of times) they finally reached their destination which was a large estate in the outskirts of Kyoto. A guard met them at the gate, and after the driver talked and showed some credentials, they were let in. It took another minute or two until they reached the house where a group was waiting for them. The car group got out of their vehicle with the house group greeting them shortly after. A man with short blonde hair and yellowish-brown eyes underneath some shades stepped forward and led the group.
“Ichigo-san, you’re still about as ugly as when I last saw you,” Tadao greeted with a cheeky grin as he approached.
“Tadao-san, you’re clearly the most repulsive one here. I see you still haven’t taken my advice to get your face fixed,” Ichigo greeted with a snarky expression as he also approached.
Once close enough, they locked hands for a shake before pulling each other in for a hug.
“It’s nice to see you again, friend! How’re you doin', man? No troubles getting here?” Tadao asked.
“I’m just fine. Getting here was a lot smoother than we thought. But we are exhausted,” Ichigo replied.
“I imagine. Remember that time in Second Year when we bought booze with fake IDs and we had to run for it?”
“Ha, how can I forget?! I was terrified the cops would get us!”
As the two men shared stories and laughed, everyone else present could not help but be astonished at how casual the two were being. It almost was like this wasn’t a business meeting.
“Yeah, those were the days,” Tadao laughed and turned to the other two people to address them. “Before we continue any further, allow me to introduce myself. I am Kurosawa Tadao, head of Kurosawa Security Services, and I welcome you all to my home. It’s nice to meet you!”
He then stepped toward the next person. She was a rather tall woman with long strawberry-blonde hair and pinkish-brown eyes.
“And you must be Miyako, his wife, yes?” He asked.
“Yes, I am,” She said with a polite smile as they shook hands.
“You know, I’ve always wondered how someone with a face like his could get married. But here we are,” He joked earning a laugh from her.
“I sometimes wonder why I decided to marry him too,” She commented and they both laughed.
“Huh? What?” Ichigo said but was ignored.
Then, Tadao moved to the last person. She was a short girl with long violet hair with matching eyes that have stars in them. But her most distinct feature was the bulge in her abdomen showing her pregnancy. Moreover, she looked like she wasn’t even 18. This observation made his gut wrench due to feeling pity for this poor girl’s bad decision. Regardless, he put on his best smile and took her hand.
“And you must be Hoshino Ai,” He greeted. “I’ve heard all about you, but since I’m the stereotypical old man, I’m not into your music. Regardless of that, and after listening to a couple of songs, I think you’re doing some very great work in your field.”
Her lips curved into a smile that cured souls as her eyes seemed to shimmer. Tadao kept himself from reacting, but at that moment he knew why she was so popular.
“Thank you so much, Tadao-san! You know, I don’t think I’m that popular to begin with but I’m always so happy to hear that someone like what I do!” She said happily.
He chuckled a bit. “I used to be in a band in middle school and high school, so I still try to stay up to date with the latest musical trends these days. Although, I still don’t know much. I mostly get my info on that from my own agents.”
He glanced to the side followed by Ai shortly after to see three younger agents standing stiffly as they tried to ignore them. They knew exactly who she was. All three of them have her as their phone’s lock screen wallpaper. And it’s clear that they wanted to talk to her, but they couldn’t. And even if they could, they didn’t know how. Ai giggled in amusement while Tadao just stared.
“Anyway, now that introductions have been made, let’s go inside where it’s more comfortable. I know you’re here for business, so let’s dive right in. We’ve also prepared snacks and refreshments inside in case you want some. Ichigo, my valet will take care of your car, so give him the keys please,” Tadao said as he gestured for them to follow.
“Do you have ice cream?” Ai asked.
“We sure do!”
“Yay! Let’s go!”
After Ichigo handed over the keys to a valet, Tadao began leading them into his home with the trio following shortly after. But before that, a mischievous thought entered Ai’s mind and she acted quickly. She suddenly turned to look at the trio of agents who tensed up even more under her gaze. Worse, they realized that she was up to no good just from her grin. But before they could even speculate what she was up to, she suddenly did her signature love heart hand pose with a smile. In a flash, the three agents felt their knees go weak in the presence of such moe cuteness that they struggled to stay upright as they covered their mouths to silence their ecstatic screams. Satisfied with her handiwork, Ai giggled as she left the scene of the crime.
“Um, are they gonna be alright?” Ichigo asked nervously as he saw one of them falling over.
“They’ll be fine.”
They entered the huge house and led them through a series of hallways that were decorated with all sorts of interesting stuff. One of them was some sort of cannon on a towed carriage, except, aside from one big barrel, it’s got multiple little ones arranged in a circle with a crank.
“Kurosawa-san, what’s that?” Ai asked.
“Oh, this? This is a Model 1874 Gatling Gun. It fires a .45-70 caliber round from top-loaded 20-round box magazines with a rate of fire of about a thousand rounds per minute, although, it really depends on how fast you can crank it. It was one of the most revolutionary weapons ever designed and it changed the battlefield forever. This specific weapon here was used by the Imperial Army against revolting samurai during their last stand in the Battle of Mount Shiroyama, the last action of the Satsuma Rebellion,” He explained. “Sometimes I wonder what the samurai were thinking in their last moments just before they were all gunned down.”
“Wow,” Ai whispered in awe.
“Indeed. I don’t even know where my father dug up this gun,” He said before tracing across the black-painted barrels of the old weapon.
“That’s so cool!” She exclaimed happily then fished out her phone from her hoodie pocket. “Can I take a picture with it?”
“Ai, we’re here in business and the man’s likely very busy, so let’s not take anymore—” Ichigo said but was cut off.
“Sure thing! Our meeting is the only thing I have on my schedule today, so I’m basically free to do anything!” Tadao interjected with a wide smile as she took her phone.
What followed next was a comedic scene which was basically an old man doting on his granddaughter while he took pictures of her doing cute things. Meanwhile, everyone else present just stared with blank expressions.
“So much for not being into idols,” Ichigo muttered.
“These are so good! Thank you so much, Kurosawa-san!” She thanked him with a wide smile after going over the pictures.
“You’re very welcome! And you know, we’ve got a lot of goodies in this house, maybe you’d like to take some pictures with them too?” He offered.
“I’d love to!” She squealed.
“Mhmm!” Someone cleared their throat.
Looking in that direction, they saw a young man dressed in a nice business suit who was basically a younger version of Tadao. He approached them with his hands in his pockets and regarded them with a straight expression.
“You’re getting off track here, Dad. We’re still conducting a business,” He said as a matter of factly. “And what happened to ‘no touching of the expensive decor’?”
“Oh come on, son, do you honestly believe I can refuse that?” Tadao complained as he gestured to Ai who maintained a happy expression as she looked at the photos.
“Don’t enable her, Dad. Ma’am, please stop touching the gun, it’s very old and very expensive,” He said.
“Ai, get off of it,” Ichigo ordered.
“Aw, okay,” She said sadly as she backed off.
“Sorry for the trouble, but this stuff is crazy expensive. And oh, I’m Kurosawa Akio, by the way. It’s a pleasure to meet all of you,” He greeted with a polite smile.
“This is my son. He’ll be taking care of the business one day, so I’m bringing him along more now,” Tadao said.
Another round of handshakes was exchanged as the group introduced themselves to Akio. Ai expected the tone and body language of a fan holding himself back, the same kind she’s gotten used to seeing, but was rather surprised when he shook her hands normally with nothing but politeness in his eyes. Strange, now she’s curious. Akio on his part thought that she was a rather normal-looking girl, except for the bulging stomach, and didn’t find anything very special from just looking at her.
“Sorry for messing around. It’s just a really cool-looking thing!” Ai said.
“It sure is, ‘can’t argue with that. They don’t make weapons like these anymore these days. It’s all just big bombs now, which is boring,” Akio remarked.
“I don’t think death and destruction are supposed to be nice to see,” Miyako remarked.
“Exactly,” Tadao stated with a firm voice. “And that’s what we strive for in KSS. Every day must always be boring. Now come on, we’ve got business to attend to.” He said before turning and walking away.
“Is he always like this?” Miyako asked with a sweatdrop, noting the man’s sudden change of face.
“You’ll get used to it,” Both Ichigo and Akio replied in a flat tone.
They finished the walk toward their destination which was a conference room inside the house. The place was quite spacious and cozy looking, especially since it has a fireplace. They all immediately took their seats with KSS taking one side of the table and Ichigo Productions sitting opposite of them.
“Snacks will be brought in a little bit, so let’s get down to business to business shall we,” Tadao said as he placed a briefcase on the table and pulled out some papers. “By the way, everything we talk about will not leave this room, you can trust us. I think I also know the reason why you need an extra pair of hands. Your reason for getting a bodyguard is because you’re worried that you’ll be attacked like that idol that got stabbed recently, yes?”
They all nodded at that. It was already a month old, but the memory of it was still fresh on everyone’s minds, especially since it was covered on national news.
An idol named Hirose Keiko, who was pretty popular and only 16 like Ai, was recently murdered by a crazy fan in her own home. The autopsy report stated that the cause of death was cardiac arrest from severe bleeding after being stabbed three times and that she died in minutes.
The police captured the killer before he could jump off a bridge and took him in for questioning. He said that a Twitter post showing Keiko being all friendly with some guy somewhere made people think she had gotten a boyfriend. This enraged him because he felt betrayed by her actions, therefore he stalked her and plotted her murder for weeks. So, it was pretty awkward for him to find out that Keiko’s supposed boyfriend was actually her cousin and she was at a family get-together at that time.
The news shocked everyone in the country and many celebrities started taking their personal security more seriously. Ichigo was worried for Ai, and Ai was a bit scared herself. She knew Keiko, they did some collaborations together in the past, and she was upset she couldn’t attend her funeral. So, Ichigo Productions, though a bit cash-strapped, decided that it would be a good idea to have some form of security with them to help out in the long run. Especially now that Ai was pregnant… they couldn’t stomach the thought of some deranged lunatic stabbing her to death like what happened to Keiko.
“I don’t think I can forget that. I knew the girl and her agency, they were good people. I hope that bastard gets the chair,” Ichigo muttered.
“You and me both. And don’t worry, we’ll make sure nothing ever happens to you,” Tadao assured. “Alright, now, how do you want to be protected?”
“We just need someone with us to keep the creeps away, especially one that can lie low with us. Nothing flashy at all,” Ichigo answered.
“Hmm, I understand what you want. One or two agents on you at all times at least, covering your front and back. They’ll be in plain clothes too so as to not draw attention. Okay, I’ve got a lot of agents to spare for that kind of job,” Tadao said, as he wrote on a piece of paper.
“What else is there?” Ichigo asked.
“We’re gonna brief you on how we operate and how we intend to do this. None of them are hard to follow at all. The gist is that you need to tell us everything, your schedules, contacts, extra activities, etcetera.”
“So, I’ll basically be followed around everywhere?” Ai asked.
“Basically, yes. But the key difference is that it’ll be by people you can trust. However, that doesn’t mean we’ll be poking around your daily life and infringing on your space every day. We’ll create a system in which you’re safe but still comfortable. In fact, we even have methods to protect you without you or anyone seeing us, but that’s really expensive though,” Tadao explained. “We know our boundaries too, Hoshino-sama, you don’t have to worry.”
“Hmm,” Ai hummed as she considered his words before another thought occurred to her. “Will you kill people?”
“Only if they really force us to. Every agent has a loaded gun with him, but we’re also trained in ways to stop an attacker with non-lethal force. Besides, one of our tactics is that by simply being there, we can discourage anyone from trying anything funny. As I’ve said, the best days for us are the most boring ones.”
“I see.”
“What’s the price tag?” Miyako asked.
“Despite the low elements, you’re still looking at 500,000 yen per month. But…” He trailed off. “But… due to my debt to you, Ichigo, I’ve decided to give you half that price for six months. This is paid like a subscription service where you have to pay every month. Failure to pay means immediate termination of services.”
“Is there anything else?” Ichigo asked.
“There are a bunch more details that you need to know. Legality, protocols, company policy, and all that. But, there’s one detail that I threw in as a condition for this,” Tadao said then placed a hand on Akio’s shoulder who was sitting to his right. “My son will be the one to run point of your protection detail. This’ll also act as his first test, to prove his skill as a protection agent.”
“Although I’m inexperienced, I’m quick to learn and adapt, and I’m ready to take on whatever task is needed from me,” Akio said politely.
Ichigo and Miyako frowned at the prospect of being given someone who was inexperienced in the field. But if he was the son of the guy who runs the place, then he should be pretty good, right? Besides, this is possibly the best deal they’ll ever get, and they weren’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“Alright, that’s fine,” Ichigo said.
“I’m okay with it,” Ai said.
“Although, Akio will be running point so you’ll see him the most often, another rookie agent will also be there to learn too. He’ll be number two. A senior agent will also be dropping by occasionally to check on them and evaluate their performance, although you don’t need to pay him. And in case things get really bad, emergency services and other agents won’t be too far to assist,” Tadao added.
“Ah, alright,” Ichigo said.
“Now, for the rest of everything.”
They would spend the next thirty minutes getting into the details of how everything would be under their care. Snacks and refreshments were brought in at that time with Ai receiving a pint of ice cream, making her very happy. They got into some legal conditions that were implemented to protect both sides. They also got into how the protection detail would work and what to do under certain situations. And of course, company policy.
One such policy is that the client can sue the company for up to 30 million yen for disclosing any secrets entrusted to them without permission. And although KSS can definitely pay that amount, their reputation would be tarnished and they’d lose even more money. That was a fact that allowed Ichigo Productions to rest easier. Ai’s pregnancy needed to remain under wraps.
After a few more minutes and a couple more things were clarified, they finally moved on to the last piece of the puzzle. Tadao opened up his briefcase and pulled out one last set of papers.
“This is the contract. What’s is just a summary of everything we talked about, but I suggest you read it carefully so you’re not missing anything,” Tadao said.
Ichigo Productions took the document and carefully read through it to make sure they were not missing anything. It took another five minutes, but they confirmed that everything was in place.
“A service that tells you everything and makes you read the contract first? Finally!” Ichigo joked.
“We’re the guys that protect the Emperor, not some shady organization! We’ve got a reputation to uphold!” Tadao stated. “Anyway, if nothing is amiss, sign your name and seal on the space provided and we are officially under your employ.”
“Everything’s here. Let’s seal the deal,” Ichigo said.
He grabbed a pen that was provided to him and signed his name on the line at the bottom then stamped his seal on the side. Miyako did the same thing after him. And finally, Ai filled out the last line with her name and seal and even drew a little heart on it. Tadao took the document and looked through it before putting it down and giving them a smile.
“You are now under the protection of Kurosawa Security Services! With Hachiman, the divine protector of Japan, guiding our hands, you will not have to worry about anything as long as we are around! Rest assured that we will take care of you. And anyone that tries to harm you will die a horrible death!” He proclaimed.
“That’s… oddly specific,” Ichigo remarked.
“If you get hurt, we’ll cover the expenses of your medical bill. If you die under our watch, which you won’t, we’ll offer a full refund to your relatives, and we’ll even avenge you. That’s our policy, to treat our clientele as if they are our family,” He added.
“That’s very nice,” Miyako said.
“Only the best we provide our clients,” Tadao said. “And aside from giving you a copy of the documents, this concludes our business. Thank you for choosing our services. We promised not to disappoint.”
“We’ll be watching closely then.”
Both groups then stood up and gave each other one last bout of handshakes to truly seal the contract that was just signed.
“I’ll make sure your men get tickets to one of my concerts in the future!” Ai said and looked at Akio. “Especially you, Akio-san.”
“Oh, that’s very kind of you, Hoshino-sama. But, I’m not into idol music,” He replied politely.
“Huh?”
“Please excuse my son. We know he’s a weirdo,” Tadao jokingly said.
“I ain’t weird, Dad. I don’t hate idol music but I don’t exactly like it either. I just like other things,” Akio stated.
“It’s not impossible, but it’s a first for us. Everyone your age we’ve met is into idols,” Saitou said. “Looks like you’re the 10% we didn’t see coming.”
“Please just take it as less worry for you, since I won’t be prying for your attention all the time. I’ll always keep a respectful distance. I promise.”
“That’s all we can ever ask really. Thank you.”
“Now that business is concluded, we can all turn in for the night. But would you like something before you leave? Some more snacks or drinks perhaps? We’ve got a lot here,” Tadao offered but Ichigo shook his head.
“No, we’ve already been here too long, we don’t want to overstay our welcome. Besides, it’s late and we’re all tired. We should be getting back now,” he said.
“Alright. In that case, allow us to walk you out while I get the valet to get your car.”
“Alright then.”
Ichigo Productions prepared to leave while Tadao got on his phone. Ichigo and Miyako started discussing something with each other while Ai simply looked around the room. Her eyes would eventually land on Akio who was looking at his phone. He’d pocket it a moment later and his eyes would land on his protectee’s. She’d flashed him a wide smile, the kind that can captivate any man, while he returned with a simple smile and a nod. Ai began opening her mouth to speak before stopping short when there was a disturbance from Tadao.
“... Really? Alright, I’ll tell them,” He sighed before turning to the group.
“What’s wrong?” Ichigo asked.
Tadao smiled awkwardly. “A small problem just developed on your end.”
They’d find themselves outside again a moment later, watching a scene unfold before them. Ichigo Production’s car, a white rental Toyota Corolla, remained where Ichigo last left it although the hood was open and multiple guys were peering into the engine compartment with flashlights. One agent tried turning the key and starting the ignition, yet the engine remained quiet. A moment later, a middle-aged man with his sleeves rolled up walked up to Tadao while wiping his hands on a rag.
“I think it’s a broken sparkplug, Tadao-san. It just won’t start,” He reported.
“I told you it was broken!” Miyako scolded Ichigo in a hushed voice.
“Do we have spare parts, Hiro-san?” Tadao asked.
“No, we just ran out when our own rides needed maintenance and we haven’t resupplied yet,” He said with a shake of his head. “We can’t run to the shop too because it’s already closed at this time. This thing’s staying here till morning.”
Ichigo and Miyako groaned at their misfortune while the rest of them simply stared indifferently. Tadao then sighed and spoke again.
“Alright. In that case, Hiro-san, please get the van off the driveway and onto the side. We’ll deal with it tomorrow morning. Then please take one of the Land Cruisers and take them back to their hotel. The rest of you are free to leave for home too,” He ordered.
“Hai, Kurosawa-sama!” Everyone replied.
“Tadao-san, are you sure? This is probably too much—” Ichigo began but stopped when Tadoa raised a hand.
“It’s fine, I don’t mind at all. Just think of this as me helping a friend in need. And no, you don’t have to pay,” He replied.
Ichigo was unsure but ultimately allowed it and bowed a bit. “Alright, thank you.”
“No problem,” Tadao replied with a shallow nod.
While the adults addressed the issue of their ride, the two kids remained on the side and simply watched. Akio and Ai were still in their teens, so they were kids in the eyes of the adults present.
“So,” Ai began. “What kind of music do you listen to, Kurokawa-san?”
“Uh, I like rock music of all types from pop to death metal. I’ve been listening to them since I was five. And it’s Kurosawa, Hoshino-sama,” He replied, her sudden question and error of his name catching him off guard.
“Ah, really? Ahahaha, I’m so sorry! I'm not very good at memorizing people’s faces!” She laughed jovially.
“Ahaha, I can imagine. Since you probably see so many faces every day, it’s hard to keep track of them all, huh?” He laughed.
“Ah, yeah! It’s a bit of a problem for me, hehe. Sometimes, I even forget the President’s name too, haha!”
He laughed along with her but internally, he was cringing a bit.
Does every idol have such an airheaded personality? He wondered.
“It must be kinda hard for you too, having to work like this when you’re so young,” She remarked.
“Well, this is my first job ever, so it doesn’t seem hard at all right now. That’s definitely gonna change though,” He replied. “But, I don’t think my job will get anywhere as difficult as yours with you having to put up an act all the time. I don’t think I can handle that.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. I really like my job, but sometimes it gets pretty tiring. Taking a break like this is gonna help out a lot!” She said happily before taking a deep breath and looking around. “I think I’ve already said this, but your place is really nice.”
“Mhmm, and this is just our place here in Tokyo. We’re only here now because we need to be closer to some of our clients at the moment. Our main house in Kyoto is even bigger and cooler!” Akio replied.
“You guys are really loaded, huh?”
“For the past few decades, Kurosawa has been branching to other things that make money. We need the cash to pay for our stuff after all. Although, we’re still inferior to zaibatsus like Shinomiya and Shijo (who we provide services to, by the way) but also still better than most.”
“Wow.”
“Mhmm, but money still isn’t everything. We try to take a humble approach to things too. Dad doesn’t like spending money on anything that isn’t important and I don’t buy a lot of things myself,” He added and kept his mouth open to continue when he was interrupted.
“Don’t believe him! He eats yakiniku at least once a week!” One of the younger agents stated as he walked by with a bag over his shoulder, likely on his way home.
“Look who’s talking, idiot! You spend the most out of all of us!” He retorted angrily but only got a laugh in response. He turned back to Ai who was holding a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles, prompting him to sigh in annoyance. “Alright, I admit that part and also I spend a lot quite a lot on video games and band equipment, but only on special occasions. I’m not some pompous rich jerk that throws money around, I promise you.”
“Hmm, alright, I believe you,” She giggled and then thought of something. “You could’ve totally left that part out or outright lied. Why didn’t you?”
“Uh, it was already out, so there’s no point in trying to lie about it anymore. Besides, I don’t believe you deserve to be lied to, Hoshino-sama,” He answered.
Her smile wavered ever so slightly as she processed his answer. I don’t deserve to be… lied to?
“Um—”
“Ai, our ride’s here! Let’s head back to the hotel!” Ichigo called out as one of the company’s Land Cruisers had been brought out to take them.
“I guess we’ll just have to continue this conversation some other time, but it’s been a nice talk. I look forward to working with you, Hoshino-sama,” He said with a wide smile and an outstretched hand.
“Ai.”
“Sorry?”
Ai smiled widely too, her eyes seemingly shimmering brighter as she took his hand and shook it. “Since we’ll be sticking so closely together for a while, you can just call me Ai, Akio-san.”
He blinked. “U-Uh, sure thing, Ai-san.”
“Just Ai,” She clarified.
“Just Ai,” He nodded and smiled widely, happy that she remembered his first know, even if he didn’t know why.
“If that’s what you want, you’re the boss,” Akio remarked, earning another laugh from her. “You have a good night, Ai, and I’ll see you again tomorrow.”
“You too, Akio-san.”
She’d head back to her group a moment later and they were leaving the estate shortly. Akio waved at the car as it drove past him and he could just barely see a human figure waving back through the darkness. As he watched the SUV disappear, he put his hand down and looked up at the sky.
“Wow,” He breathed. “Her eyes are something else.”
He’d retire for the night shortly after without another thought. He’d sleep soundly not knowing that he had just stepped on the path that would define his life.
***
This is the link to the ff.net page. Thank you very much for taking the time to read it, and thank you even more if you decide to support it on ff.net! Please also tell me what you think and/or if you have any ideas you'd like to share here or there!
For now, have a great day, and peace out!
Veritas vos liberabit.
The Truth will set you Free.

I used to work at a popular south eastern gas station. They paid great, but the management was awful. They had cameras with microphones in the break room, we weren’t allowed to take our breaks anywhere but the break room, phones were strictly forbidden, and one manager loved to harass me during each shift. We’ll call him Matt. Matt loves to micromanage people. So much so that he lost a managerial position at a new gas station they were opening and was demoted to an assistant manager position because of the way he treats his employees.
Shortly after we moved into a new apartment, my gf called and texted me during a shift telling me someone was banging on our door trying to break in. I saw her text on my smart watch, and rushed outside to call her and make sure everything was okay.
She told me that they stopped banging on the door and left, so I told her to let me know if anything else happened, and went back to work. This call lasted 2 minutes max.
First, my warehouse manager came up to me, (we’ll call him daydrinker) telling me he had to report me for using my phone during my shift. I explained the situation to him, and told him I was scared for the safety of my gf. Daydrinker still reported me to Matt.
Matt called me into a conference room and began to berate me for using my smartwatch during a shift, telling me that he was going to report me to the district manager, and that I better watch what I say because my job was on the line, and there were microphones recording the conversation. He said all of this with a smart watch on his wrist. I explained the whole situation to him, and that it was an emergency. This didn’t help. He still threatened to report me to the district manager. I said, “Matt, you understand that I’m an adult with obligations outside of work, right? There’s a fundamental human aspect to this situation that I feel is being ignored.” This set him off. He quoted the employee rule book, called me a bad employee, and then fired me. I held my tongue to maintain some sense of dignity.
After that day though, I vowed to spit on the ground in front of him if I ever saw him again.
Fast forward a year. My gf and I stopped by the same gas station to fuel up, and went inside for some food (this gas station is so large that they have over 200 fuel pumps and a big barbecue restaurant inside). Lo and behold, I locked eyes with Matt when we walked in.
I decided against spitting on the ground, and just shot him a middle finger. He immediately walked over and I greeted him saying “Hello Matthew, you piece of shit.” He said “Uh-uh, you gotta get out of here.” I respectfully complied, but as he walked me out, I kept a safe distance to show him I had no violent intentions, but I kept insulting him, saying, “Remember when you fired me for calling my girlfriend in an emergency you asshole? Fuck you, piece of shit.”
I walked back to my car, and waited for my gf to finish up feeling very satisfied that I’d finally gotten a chance to tell him off. As we were leaving, I see Matt searching for me in the parking lot. He finds me, and flags down a police officer. Cop asked what happened. I explained the situation from a year ago, he said, give me one minute while I go run your ID. During that time, Matt tells me “They’re gonna take you in for trespassing, you’re banned from this gas station for life.” I laughed in his face. Cop came back and said, “Sir, we’re gonna ask that you never come back to this gas station again, or we’ll have to arrest you for trespassing. Other than that, you’re free to go.” I took one last chance to laugh at Matt, and then we left.
He stared me down as we pulled out of the parking lot, the whole time I was pointing and laughing at him from inside the car.
I try to keep from acting like this, especially in public, because I am generally an easy going and non-confrontational person. This time though, after all the BS that that micromanaging asshole put me through, including screaming at me in front of every other manager during a meeting for not wearing a glove while cutting a box with a safety cutter, I had to give him an earful.
TLDR: I got banned from a gas station for cursing at the manager who fired me for calling my gf during an emergency. Fuck you “Matt”

(Obligatory "first story" note, thanks for reading!)
×-×-×-×-×
The human home-planet "Earth" has seasonal weather systems that are affected by the axial tilt of the planet. These are usually predictable depending on the season- summer is hot, winter is cold and in between is usually wet.
That said: I've spent some time living with humans and one day in particular showed me that occasionally not even their planet knows what season it should be. They once took me on a hike to a big "corry" lake in the mountains near us. The day started out with glorious summer sunshine, but as we climbed the weather got colder and foggy. I thought the clouds had fallen on us and when I said as such human Chris laughed and told me I was partially right.
The fog lifted after a bit but was replaced by rain and I was very glad of the coat I was made to bring in spite of the weather being forecast as sunny. As we neared the lake the air got colder and the rain turned to what the humans call "sleet": a kind of half-frozen rain.
Sleet was bad enough, but it got worse when the sky started to pelt us with pieces of ice. It stung when it struck exposed skin and I could feel it even through the coat I was wearing. We pressed on to the lake through the hail, the humans knowledge of the area preventing us from being killed by the mountain.
As we got to the edge of the lake the hail eased off, and in its place there came flurries of snow. Big flakes that got thicker and heavier until it obscured our vision. This apparently was finally bad enough for the humans to stop walking and hunker down. I huddled in next to a rock shivering while the others cracked jokes about the weather. These people were mad! One of them was even in his shorts still!
Once the snow started to clear we moved on around the lake. I'll admit, the view from the rocky ledge above the back end of the lake was imperssive but brief as the weather started to cycle back through all its forms again. To my relief, the sky cleared as we got back to the front end of the lake and I was astounded by the vast sweep of landscape. I could see all the way to the shining sea across a patchwork of countryside dotted with villages and criss-crossed with roads. The humans had such good knowledge of their homeland that they could even point out roughly where their house was even though they couldn't actually see it.
Back down the mountain at the car the insane weather seemed almost like a dream, but I came to this conclusion: if a human says they want to take you somewhere "cool", go with them. They love their planet with all its quirks and they love to share its beauty with others (even if the weather tries to kill them)
×-×-×-×
This is based on an actual hike I went on with my dad, my brother and a tourist friend. The tourist was shocked at how much the weather could change in the space of a few hours but hey, that's Irish weather for you

The human home-planet "Earth" has seasonal weather systems that are affected by the axial tilt of the planet. These are usually predictable depending on the season- summer is hot, winter is cold and in between is usually wet.
That said: I've spent some time living with humans and one day in particular showed me that occasionally not even their planet knows what season it should be. They once took me on a hike to a big "corry" lake in the mountains near us. The day started out with glorious summer sunshine, but as we climbed the weather got colder and foggy. I thought the clouds had fallen on us and when I said as such human Chris laughed and told me I was partially right.
The fog lifted after a bit but was replaced by rain and I was very glad of the coat I was made to bring in spite of the weather being forecast as sunny. As we neared the lake the air got colder and the rain turned to what the humans call "sleet": a kind of half-frozen rain.
Sleet was bad enough, but it got worse when the sky started to pelt us with pieces of ice. It stung when it struck exposed skin and I could feel it even through the coat I was wearing. We pressed on to the lake through the hail, the humans knowledge of the area preventing us from being killed by the mountain.
As we got to the edge of the lake the hail eased off, and in its place there came flurries of snow. Big flakes that got thicker and heavier until it obscured our vision. This apparently was finally bad enough for the humans to stop walking and hunker down. I huddled in next to a rock shivering while the others cracked jokes about the weather. These people were mad! One of them was even in his shorts still!
Once the snow started to clear we moved on around the lake. I'll admit, the view from the rocky ledge above the back end of the lake was imperssive but brief as the weather started to cycle back through all its forms again. To my relief, the sky cleared as we got back to the front end of the lake and I was astounded by the vast sweep of landscape. I could see all the way to the shining sea across a patchwork of countryside dotted with villages and criss-crossed with roads. The humans had such good knowledge of their homeland that they could even point out roughly where their house was even though they couldn't actually see it.
Back down the mountain at the car the insane weather seemed almost like a dream, but I came to this conclusion: if a human says they want to take you somewhere "cool", go with them. They love their planet with all its quirks and they love to share its beauty with others (even if the weather tries to kill them)
×-×-×-×
This is based on an actual hike I went on with my dad, my brother and a tourist friend. The tourist was shocked at how much the weather could change in the space of a few hours but hey, that's Irish weather for you.

Hello, i (M29) and my partner (F27) have been together for 17 months, we have a child who whilst not biologically mine, i have raised as my own due to the biological father not wanting to be involved.
However, around 5 months ago my partner "did a thing" and got back in touch with him. This was the start of a massively turbulent time in our relationship. This led to her eventually letting him know he's the father ( she had decided she wouldn't go out of her way to tell him, but she wouldn't keep it from him either if he asked) which did hurt because i love our little man, i took it on the chin and just tried to adjust to our new situation.
However, around 3 months ago she began to disappear with him, she would go out to his car and have "talks" with him for hours on end. She would go on days out with him whilst i was at work and lie to me about it. All the while he is apparently trying to convince her to ditch me and get back with him.
This led to massive arguements, and eventually she told me she has feelings for him and shes confused about who to be with, however she chose to stay with me and after that we moved on and continued to build a life together. We now have a house together and are expecting another baby.
However on the same week we moved into the house, i found out she was still going on days out with him, and basically told her that if she thinks im working to provide for this family, and putting in all this effort to make a house a home for this family just so her and him can go out whilst im at work and pretend theyre a family she's dead wrong, she messaged him and let him know that was stopping there and then (she showed me).
We wanted to see the house as a fresh start for us, a clean slate if you will, however i have some doubts.
1.In one of his messages he mentions "after all the things we've done and spoke about" this sounds ominous to me and it plays on my mind a lot, however she claims she doesn't know what he's talking about.

1. She seems to put a lot more effort into her appearance on the days he's picking his son up or dropping him off, she goes from wearing joggers/leggings/jeans to wearing skirts/dresses and make up, whenever i mention this she says "wow can i not even wear clothes anymore" and claims i'm being controlling. But they barely speak as fsr as i'm aware unless it's about times to pick up/drop off his son, am i reading too much into it?
   
2. I want a DNA test for the baby when it is born, i would want one even without this whole ex situation because that's just what i want, but i feel it is imperative i get one now, because i'm not 100% convinced nothing sexual happened between them. However i don't even know how to approach the topic.
   

It's sad because apart from this, our relationship is AMAZING. I absolutely adore this woman and i want to ask her to marry me, but whenever we speak about it i can't help but think of everything that has happened. Her and her ex barely communicate anymore as far as im aware, unless it's about his son. He is massively manipulative and although she sees through it now and acts like she hates his guts, i know that won't last forever and i'm nervous that in time she will be back to going on days out with him if he's nice to her for long enough, and i don't think i can go through that turmoil again
Tldr: Girlfriend of 17 months had an emotional affair, we have since tried to move on but im not convinced nothing physical happened due to messages he's sent, she's pregnant and i want a dna test but dont know how to approach the question, and she seems to put alot of effort into her appearance whenever shes going to interact with him.

“Titane” not only depicts unsettling and visceral imagery, filled with engine oil and blood, but it also defies any attempt to neatly classify or describe it. It immerses viewers in a chaotic blend of violence, automobile culture, and (rather unexpectedly) compassion. It intertwines elements of body horror, evoking a sense of revulsion towards the human body, with a narrative that explores family dynamics. Moreover, it cleverly incorporates comedic elements that subtly highlight the uneasiness that arises from being confined within our vulnerable and flawed physical bodies. “Titane” creates an experience that transcends the boundaries of traditional cinema, inviting audiences into a realm of unparalleled peculiarity.
The film won the prestigious Palme d'Or, making director Julia Ducournau only the second female director in the festival's history to receive it (Jane Campion is the only other woman to have won before [“The Piano”] and she actually shared the award with Chen Kaige [“Farewell my Concubine”]). Additionally, the film garnered a nomination for the Queer Palme, highlighting its exploration of LGBTQ+ themes. Further acclaim followed as "Titane" secured the Midnight Madness Award at the Toronto Film Festival, as recognition to its unconventional storytelling. At the French César Awards, "Titane" received four nominations, including Best Director for Julia Ducournau and Most Promising Actress for Agathe Rousselle. Furthermore, Julia Ducournau's directorial prowess was acknowledged at the British Academy Film Awards, where she received a nomination for Best Director. At the Magritte Awards, Belgium's own film awards, "Titane" received five nominations and won two awards, including the Best Foreign Film accolade. Finally, “Titane” was selected as the French entry for the Best International Feature Film category at the 94th Academy Awards but it wasn’t shortlisted.
attention: from this point forward the text contains spoilers
The central character, Alexia (portrayed by Agathe Roussell), embodies a beautiful but cold young woman that carries a titanium plate in her head, a lasting reminder of a childhood car accident. Alexia's unusual fixation on cars aligns conveniently with her profession as a stripper who sensually engages with vehicles at motor shows.
When confronted by an obsessive and intrusive fan, Alexia stabs him in the ear using her metal hairpin (possibly a reference to the counter-cultural classic “The Anarchist Cookbook”?). Afterwards, she indulges in a peculiar carnal celebration by engaging in intimate acts with a car - not merely inside the car but quite literally with it, a fascinating scene that drew comparisons to Cronenberg’s “Crash”. The consequences of this encounter become apparent when she becomes pregnant, carrying a metallic foetus that causes her to bleed engine oil. Subsequent to these events, Alexia embarks on a series of additional killings, ultimately finding herself on the run from the police. In a desperate attempt to evade capture, she adopts a male disguise, assuming the identity of the long lost son of a middle-aged fire-fighter officer.
At this juncture, the narrative of the film takes an unexpected turn, delving even deeper into its peculiarities. "Titane" unexpectedly evolves into a tender drama, exploring the lives of two wounded and solitary individuals who find solace in sustaining a shared delusion. Vincent insists that his fire-fighters accept Alexia as his long-lost son, Adrien. He even draws religious parallels, referring to Alexia as Jesus to his own god-like figure. This perverse religious imagery (Jesus presumably is a cross-dressed female serial killer) serves as a recurring motif throughout the film.
It is at this point that the director and screen-writer Ducournau introduces another extraordinary plot-twist. The police propose a DNA test to verify Alexia’s true identity, but the father adamantly refuses, asserting that he would unquestionably recognize his own son. Some might find this to be a contrived and ad hoc plot device but in reality Vincent's self-assured acceptance of Alexia extends beyond a mere narrative convenience. Vincent’s firm denial raises the question: is he a deranged man who refuses to see what is obvious to everyone else (including his ex-wife and his fire-fighters)? Or does his resolute stance reflect an unwavering devotion to the unusual fatherly bond he shares with Alexia? If that is so, could it be that Vincent rejected the DNA test precisely because he already knew what the results would be? Through this long and unconventional journey the movie impressively succeeds in humanizing Alexia’s cinematic “monster”, brilliantly avoiding the overt sentimentalism often associated with dramatic family narratives.
You can join our online discussion of the film this Monday (June 5), here: https://www.meetup.com/the-toronto-philosophy-meetup/events/292105820/

Yesterday I spent almost the whole day with my bf in a city that we wanted to visit. It was a little stressing but nice in the end. He wanted to invite a couple of friends to his house in the evening before moving with me in a week.
I wasn’t invited and I tend to get bored after a while with them (bc e.g they play chess for hours and I’m not interested) so we rushed to go back to his house to take my things so that he could drive me home.
I was quite stressed and bc he also ordered food, I was really rushing so when I opened the little metal gate outside of his house I literally hit myself on the head. I probably would’ve laughed if it wasn’t so bad, I heard my bones making a noise because of the hit. He was waiting for me outside of the car.
It hurt so bad I immediately bursted crying, he asked me what happened to which I replied almost screaming “what do you think? I hit my head” so he did a little run and hugged me. I felt miserable and so frustrated, so extremely stressed that a mix of rage and sadness got me saying I wanted to be dead, and there’s nobody that can support me like my father (who passed 7 years ago). Maybe also hearing the sound of sirens in the distance didn’t help.
He told me to go inside to put some ice on the head, so I put it on after he wiped a little bit of blood. But just after, his friends arrived, and I felt too much shame and embarrassment to stay there. Also because they tried to lighten up the situation with some jokes, like they always joke about things and seem kinda carefree, but I just was not in the mood.
So I told my bf I wanted to go home. He drove me back home and said we will talk about what happened/what I said in a better way tomorrow (so today). I felt so abandoned. I didn’t know what to say bc he doesn’t often see his friends bc of his job, but at the same time I really did need support and I felt like he just did the bare minimum, like he generally does, and I feel bad asking for more, I’m afraid he resents me.
I went to sleep but now idk how to talk with him, nor how I’m feeling. My head still hurts and I just feel like staying in bed, it’s like I’m exhausted. What do you think? Thank you a lot for reading though

Yesterday after taking to a friend about weddings I started looking up at my sister's wedding photos. Seeing those made me realise how much emotions and feelings I had bottled up inside since her wedding.
I have been her constant and we were very close when were were kids. Later in her preteens she started drifting away from me and I coped up very badly to what I felt was her leaving me. We went from inseperable to just being there. Even though we hung out at home I always felt my place in her heart had gone. I was lonely with no friends seeing her shine both academically and socially. I felt all alone. I was failing in everything. I retreated to the shadows and I am still here.
During my teens I confronted her about abandoning me. She cried a lot and apologised saying it wont happen again. She just wanted to live her life. I acted cold towards her but I was secretly happy when she said she would change. That remained till she went to study at college and made her whole new world. I didnt mind it this time. I always felt I was too harsh towards her since the confrontation.
Over the years we both became adults and thats when I started noticing my place in her heart. Her friend didn't knew anything about me but I would tell everyone how much I loved my sister and how great she is. We had our fair share of fights. I always stood up for her no matter what. She didnt had to do that for me. I bailed her from her financial troubles, parents issues and much more. She would buy me stuff as thanks or just to show her affection. A fairly normal sister relationship.
When her wedding topic came I would always be like good riddance as she had been causing more and more trouble within the family. Our family was breaking. Our ties to each other were so strained at this point due to her actions that we wouldnt talk to each other for days. I would give her the silent treatment and say, "No need to talk to me, your boyfriend is more important to you". For her he was the one and for me he had a more higher place than me in her heart. She was constantly on the phone with him and would do whatever he said. Even if he said the same thing I said sometime ago. However by the time her wedding came we all patched up and worked towards her wedding.
During her wedding me and my siblings worked our asses off to make sure everything was happening smoothly. I even emptied my savings to pitch in for her wedding. I ran around the venue just so everything was there and she shouldn't be stressed. But when the time for farewells she hugged my crying parents, relatives and left. I was pushed back by the people and I was at the very back and saw her leaving from the shadows. I didnt even shed a tear. I was so exhausted and tired from running all say that I stopped feeling anything, truth be told. I saw eveyone around me crying at her leaving and I was just standing there in silence just watching it all happen.
Somehow that stung and stuck with me. How she was looking for everyone during her farewell but didnt even spare a thought for me. I know it was her wedding and I am not the one who's the important part of it. But somehow I carried this hope within me that she will ask or seek for me, her sister. One who she had spent most of her life with.
Maybe this is too much overthinking on my part. Maybe there is no deeper meaning to this. Maybe she just forgot. Maybe she was just so busy. I was to far out back for her to notice. I didn't even move so I can say this.
I kept giving saying these to myself. And now after seeing those photos these feelings of me not even being important to her are spilling out. Was I not even that important to seek out or even wave her goodbye?
I am sorry for the vent. These thoughts have been weighing me for months now. I don't want to talk about this to her because I know her too well. I can't help but cry replaying the scene of farewell, of her sitting in the car and not even looking in my direction. It hurts.

I'd been desperately needing a car since being poor comes with many "poverty taxes" people often don't think about.
I had been driving a 20+ year old car I had paid cash for, but could only afford (required) liability insurance on, when I was involved in a hit and run accident. The ems and cops who showed up on scene said I really needed to go to the hospital to get checked out. I hate hospital bills, but they said insurance would pay for it.
Well, due to some pretty messed up loopholes, insurance didn't pay for anything. So basically, I was stuck without a car, during holiday/experience bill winter season, and with property taxes due of about $2000 on my 750 sq ft house, PLUS medical bills. Yes, you can lose a house you own or are buying in property tax states if you don't pay. And each month you don't pay, the price goes up crazy amounts.
So, enter my boss. He knows my husband and I had been sharing a car for us both to work with our different schedules. (Often, poor couples don't see each other or family or friends often due to shitty work schedules - another poverty "tax" on mental health)
Well finally, after the stupid damn taxes & medical bills took all the savings and (1/3 the amount last year as usual) holiday bonuses, with me still having to get rides for work, I got another car. Yes, it's 20 years old too, but I could afford it and it checked out to be pretty good. I decided to save and hustle a few side gigs to pay cash, since due to anxiety, depression, ADHD, PTSD and chronic pain I really didn't need to take on another monthly expense, as the mental toll of the financials of existence is often too much for me day to day as is - despite all these meds that are supposed to help, lol. 🫠
So my boss found out I got a car, then started asking questions about it which are absolutely none of his business. He expressed "worry" about the miles that were on it, etc. I was so pissed. I worked my ass off with a HUGE mental stress/emotional toll for many months to be able to finally get SOMETHING I could drive to work, while juggling all these expenses.
I personally feel he had no fucking right to do what came across as shaming me for buying a vehicle I could afford. After all, I had done much research on issues with that particular type car.
I still think it's better for my brain to pay cash and not have a monthly payment because that way if "something happens" (like a catastrophic emergency, job loss, or expense), a person doesn't lose their vehicle they're paying on, have bad credit, and not be able to get to their next job. I understand the "reliability" concern, but boss and I grew up in extremely different worlds. His dad owned a shop, and my dad was a veteran with terrible PTSD (from required military service, as he was drafted for combat) who had difficulty keeping any job (due to stress and psychological toll) much less running his own business.
Boss has surely heard of Dave Ramsey, with all the pop Christian YouTubers he listens to. I thought he'd understand "the borrower is servant to the lender"... Which would seem like another reason to avoid debt but then he wouldn't be as able to maintain appearance with the truck he bought new, and literally only uses to commute instead of actually hauling anything or using the 4x4. But, whatever lol
I have more experience than my boss, but some days I feel like my brain and body are just damaged too much beyond repair due to a lifetime of stresses that come with being poor. It keeps me too afraid to go out on my own to start my own business. Plus, higher taxes. Fuck taxes.

My dads behavior has changed drastically over the past year or so and he's been having some health issues which he's tried to hide from everyone, finally I guess his severe headaches scared him enough to actually get checked out. This lead to months of doctors and testing and basically 2 weeks ago my mom pulled me aside and told me my dad was diagnosed with White Matter Disease, as well as dementia (which comes along with it eventually, but apparently his case is further along so it's a little more severe. Anyways his behavior is so erratic and extreme and honestly scary at times I feel like I'm in danger. My mom had to call the cops on him last week because he was acting absolutely not like himself screaming and crying and telling everyone he hated them and he was going to kill himself and them, locked himself in his room, then eventually ran out into the street and made a scene. When the ambulance and cops eventually got him inside the car, he kicked the doors open to scream FUCK YOU to the neighbor watching (which honestly even in that state remembering the beef.. lmaoooo) but he got sectioned, and was let back home after 24 hours. Idk how they let him back. For some reason his anger is all directed towards me, we don't speak anymore, and if it's anything he's glaring at me it saying a snide remark under his breath as i walk by. This has been going on for a bit and it's a problem, especially because he was my best friend. We we're so close, i told him everything and i could always count on him. This personality change already feels like my best friend is gone, and i can't be mad or sad for myself but it hurts so bad. I'm being bullied in my own house, everything is so tense all the time. If i buy cases of seltzer or water my dad hides it from me so i can't have it.. like theres things that just feel so cruel and i don't get it. Everything i do theres a problem or i get yelled at for SOMETHING. Nothing is enough right now. I wanted to say that all before i started the new boyfriend part. The behavior change was before this, and i have had relationships in the past since i was 16 ,sleeping at my house with absolutely no issues. I started dating this man, and w From the start we were honestly inseparable. He's like the male version of me in the best way possible? Idk if that's weird. But i've never met anyone like him and the point is this isn't a fling that's all So anyways! For some reason my dad has it out for him now to. From the start, didn't even know his name he started saying crazy assumptions about him and just being genuinely nasty and making gross remarks about me and him. It's hurtful, and this has literally NEVER happened before. I'm also 25 years old and I deserved some respect and decently. I know he has these progressive and terminal illnesses but i just do not know how much longer I can stay around feeling like I'm walking on eggshells in my house, and every interaction with my father now is just him verbally abusing me. I don't want to go no contact until he's dead, he doesn't have too much longer apparently? But my mental health hurts so fucking bad. But maybe it would be worse without my dad. The man i once knew is now gone though, and i really really don't know how to handle that
Forgot to add the reason i posted this in the first place - tonight felt like the last straw. Not only does my dad find any reason to take ANYTHING out on me now, he has cameras hooked up all over with alarms that he constantly watches because he's getting intensely paranoid. Every time i walk through the door i'm in fight or flight because i either get a threatening text or ambushed, every single time. No natter what time of day or night. I constantly feel like i'm being watched, and i feel like he has some weird obsession over me now, even though he refuses to talk to me unless its to scream at me. He just always wants to know what i'm doing at all times as an ADULT, while he has never done this before.
TONIGHT he sent me 3 threatening texts which i ignored, and my boyfriend slept over.. slept. That's all! And at 4 am he wakes me up telling me my dad was standing at my door with it wide open. I am so scared of my dad i locked my door AND put a chair in front of the handle so he couldn't get in just in case. And of course idk how he did it because we were sleeping but he opened my door wide open, apparently stood there for 5 mins and then took my boyfriends shoes and lined them up outside my door. Not only am I terrified for what will happen in the morning, but i really just don't know what to do moving forward. I'm his trigger and obsessive for some reason right now, and i know this is going to get worse. I'm trying to be nice and supportive but it's so fucking hard. He keeps invading my privacy and i just cannot do it. I feel so lonely and naked in my own home

I was stranded on an island with a monkey and at first the monkey was very aggressive and would bite me but I started beating the monkey with a stick to show who's alpha. Then after I tamed the monkey we had to find food because I was starving.
I saw a turtle nearby so I grabbed a sharp stick and started stabbing the turtle's head and bashing it till it died. I grabbed the turtle ripped it's stomach and organs and started cooking it. Me and the monkey ate the turtle but I ate 98.523% because I'm the alpha. We kept doing this for weeks until one day I was horny and I was beating my meat till this monkey came.
Unfortunately I let my intrusive thoughts win and I had buttsex with the monkey. It was great ngl but then I saw the monkey's stomach getting bigger which was strange because usually I eat most of the food. When these people came to rescue me they saw the monkey aswell. They said "should we bring the monkey too?" I said "no" but they saw the monkey was pregnant and couldn't survive on it's own so they brought it.
When the monkey gave birth in a cage they noticed the monkey looked like me. That's when they started to get suspicious and did a DNA test. As it turned out I'm the father which was my worst nightmare. Now I'm locked up for zooiphila and sexually assaulting a monkey.

I recently got my raise at work...it was less than half of what they originally quoted and I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck trying to keep the roof over my family's heads. A couple family members are going to be gifting us a used car soon so I no longer have to ride my electric scooter to and from work. I want to put it to good use and start doing deliveries to supplement our income. I have experience doing pizza deliveries with Domino's, though that was years ago. I know that every delivery service has its certain perks and pitfalls. With that being said, I was wondering if anyone had any beginner advice for a potential new shopper.
Is Instacart worth it? Would you recommend signing up for a 2nd delivery service for when 1 is slow / showing no available deliveries? What are some things to be aware of (like possible scams)? And what are the busiest times / days (on average) to aim for?
Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated.

I just recently last year began contact with my mom after 6 years of not seeing or hearing from her..
I've recently (since February) been very busy and have let family know I won't be able to get on Facebook as much and as soon as her husband's (not my father)
Birthday rolls around, I wasn't online to say happy birthday to him (even though he never likes ANY of my posts or pics of my kids, but he hearts all my distant family and cousins shit )
So literally the next day she changed her profile pic to a picture of her ra**** son (he m******* me until I was 8 and finally grew a backbone) my mom has a rocky relationship with her son, so this pic was not recent (there was no other reason for her to change her profile pic to him!)
She doesn't like to talk About my real dad, she says it gives her PTSD..yet she knows exactly what her son did to me and she pulls this shit.
I pretended not to notice, and posted again that I was sorry I am not available as often and then she seen it and quickly changed her pic back....this was in March and I still feel sick thinking about it...
During the no contact period I did contact her in 2018 to finally tell her what her son did to me as I was growing up, because he showed up to my house and creepily left an old photo album on my porch and I thought it might have been my mom, I told her I don't want her weirdo so around my house or family
All she had to say when I told her was "things would have been different if you'd had told me"
So she basically victim blamed me on top of gaslighting because she has no fuckin spine and would have just said "don't tell your dad" back in the day even if I did tell her.
I feel like shit

Hi there! As a non-ADHD person myself, but the father of a wonderful little eight-year-old boy (the best thing to ever happen in my life) with ADHD, I thought I’d consult with you guys, the ADHD community, about this. My son – let’s call him Lenny – attends a fantastic school that’s PRETTY understanding about his situation, but they certainly don’t have a FULL understanding about everything, and so, the school’s director – let’s call him Marlon (who is fantastic, and has a great sense of humor, which I mention so that you don’t think my joke below about him is out of place) – suggested that I should record a video that he can distribute to all of the teachers. Below, I’m pasting everything that I’m planning to say in the video.
The wording may occasionally seem a bit odd, but that’s because I’ve tried to write it the way I’m planning to actually SAY it, rather than how I’d normally READ it to myself. Anyway, would you guys mind having a glance and letting me know your thoughts? I know this is extremely long, so if it’s too much, I completely understand, but if you can spare the time, I’d REALLY appreciate it, and thanks in advance!!!
Here’s what I’m planning to say:
Greetings, Everyone. Mike Michaels here, father of Lenny Michaels. First, please excuse me when you see my eyes reading everything I’m saying here. There are a lot of details and nuance to it all, so I wanted to be prepared, rather than just ‘winging it.’ Second, I really want to thank all of you for being so patient with Lenny. I know that most schools are not, and for this, we’re truly grateful to you. Third, and most pertinent to Lenny’s behavior, there’s something that’s important to stress, and I’ve only really begun to fully understand this over the last couple of months: Lenny has a DISABILITY. ADHD is a disability; it’s an almost invisible disability. Yes, it’s also accurately classified as a “disorder,” but most people who don’t have a career in psychology, like me, tend to think of disorders as not being as debilitating as disabilities can be. But make no mistake, ADHD is ALSO a disability; it’s recognized in the Americans with Disabilities Act, and by the Social Security Administration, and much more importantly, by psychological experts that have studied ADHD at length.
Unfortunately, people with untreated ADHD have lifelong struggles, and actually shorter average lifespans. This may all go against layperson thinking – I certainly didn’t used to think of it as a disability myself until I saw it so closely and frequently, but now I have no doubt now that it absolutely is a disability. I’ll get into this next part a bit later, but it’s widely recognized in the psychological community that even the term ADHD, for a variety of reasons, is clinically the wrong term for this condition.
I’ve heard, as I’m sure some of you have too, some parents saying, “oh my kid can’t pay attention sometimes,” or “my kid can’t remember things all the time,” or “my kid acts impulsively often enough.” But when your kid does all of these things, every single day, multiple times every single day, to the point that relationships – and sometimes property – are destroyed, then your kid has a disability, and that disability is called, wrongly, ADHD. Needless to say, it would benefit all of us watching this video, to start reframing this in our minds as a disability that Lenny has – and it would also benefit Lenny, and the other kids that his behavior affects, if all of us here modify our thinking about ADHD, without explicitly telling the other kids that he has a disability.
Now, Lenny also has a second issue known as Sensory Processing Disorder, which I’ll also get into later, since it complicates things. But what I really want to focus on in this video is five different points, all of which I’ll elaborate on a little later: First, like I said, it’s important for adults – but not children, not his peers – but for adults to, as discretely as possible, treat ADHD like an actual disability.
Second, and again, as someone who does not have ADHD myself, I’ve only come around to this understanding more recently, it’s important to not make Lenny feel inferior for not being able to remember important things at certain moments – he simply can’t do it; it’s a symptom of his disability.
Third, helping him with reminders isn’t the be-all, end-all solution to these problems, but it helps, and there are specific ways that reminders can work for ADHD kids, which I’ll get into.
Fourth, I would really appreciate it if everyone could extend their already VERY generous patience just a little bit further anytime we’re tapering Lenny onto or off of new medication. This can cause relapses that he simply has no control over, and for him to feel punished – even if that’s not my intention or your intention – over something that’s chemically changed him, that he didn’t even sign up for, just seems cruel.
And my fifth point, which I’m grateful to Marlon for discussing with me, is that if we can help him better empathize about certain things, then maybe certain impulses will just start to dissipate naturally. And if he doesn’t have these certain impulses, then it becomes a non-issue to try to control something that no longer exists, but that’s a tough one, that I’ll get into later.
(1) For now, let me get into that first point a bit deeper: That it’s important for us adults – but not children, not his peers – to, as discretely as possible, treat ADHD like an actual disability. As I said, the term ADHD is just an incorrect term for this disability. I’ve learned that “attention deficit” and “hyperactivity” are really just symptoms, and not even the only or most significant symptoms for some people that have it. Some other symptoms, which can be equally debilitating, problematic, and even dangerous to an ADHD person’s well-being, include time blindness, as well as a regular and frequent inability – not unwillingness, but inability – to stop acting on impulses, as well as an inability to apply memorized information at the moment it’s needed: The recall. There are other important symptoms, too, but these are the ones I’m going to focus on here.
In psychology, I’ve learned that all of these things are components of the brain’s “executive function,” and in ADHD people, the part of the brain that manages these executive functions is underdeveloped, somewhat comparable – but not entirely analogous – to how someone with muscular dystrophy has underdeveloped muscles.
As an aside, if you’re curious, the medical industry continues to maintain the term ‘ADHD’ because changing it would require a massive, and seemingly impossible, overhaul to the medical billing system that has decades worth of the term ADHD in every medical journal and billing code. Giving it the more accurate term of “Executive Function Disorder” or EFD, just isn’t practical.
But anyway, I know I also mentioned that Lenny has something called Sensory Processing Disorder. This disorder is observed often enough in children with ADHD, which Lenny has been diagnosed with. And Sensory Processing Disorder has also been observed in children with Autism, which has been ruled out in Lenny. And then, Sensory Processing disorder has also been observed in children without either of these things. And it has different manifestations. But in Lenny, his Sensory Processing Disorder causes him to feel a need for pressure in his joints and against his body. This is why you may see him pressing against things more often than others, or pulling things more often than others, or knocking things down. He has a compulsion towards feeling those things in his joints, in his body.
He also has a compulsion related to his auditory sense, where his brain needs to hear loud, explosive things, and so this is why you may see him press other kids that have big reactions, and stay away from kids that don’t. And where someone without ADHD may be able to pause, and recognize that acting on these compulsions would be inappropriate at times, Lenny’s ADHD generally prevents him from doing so.
Anyway, I just wanted to mention that to offer some additional perspective on some of his actions. But getting back fully to just the ADHD component, which is Lenny’s main affliction, the point here is that it’s more than just “not trying hard enough.” It’s that his brain is physically different, and this just isn’t possible without certain interventions.
You wouldn’t press a wheelchair-bound kid to “just get up the stairs,” would you? Well, maybe Marlon would, because he’s got a penchant for the cruel and usual. JUST KIDDING, MARLON! But no, of course you wouldn’t ask a wheelchair-bound kid to do that, without some kind of intervention, like a ramp or an elevator. And in that same way, it shouldn’t be asked of an ADHD-ridden kid to “just remember,” without some kind of intervention, as well, or they’re going to feel like garbage, too. Of course, these things aren’t identical, but they’re similar enough to illustrate the point that interventions are necessary, and that pressing a kid to do something that they can’t is damaging.
And yes, for ADHD kids, non-chemical interventions and reminders are important, and can assist. But the dramatic majority of ADHD patients cannot effectively modify their behavior without medication. Study after study shows that, for these people, it just isn’t possible. Now, different medications do different things to different people. Not every medication works for every ADHD person. For Lenny, we’ve seen that a drug called “Guanfacine” helps significantly, and here’s why: For non-ADHD people, we have impulsive thoughts, too, but a certain part of our brain is developed enough to pause that thought before our body acts on it. That part of Lenny’s brain is not.
Unmedicated, Lenny’s brain lacks the ability to insert this pause between impulsive thought and the action that follows. But, because Guanfacine was originally developed as a medication to lower or slow blood pressure, it also slows other functions, too. And so, the Guanfacine often helps slow Lenny’s impulsive thought to a brief pause, so that he has a moment to consider it before acting on it, and often, as a result, he won’t act on it when he's on Guanfacine. Here’s just one small, easy-to-recognize example – which doesn’t actually involve any relationship issues – to illustrate my point:
Off Guanfacine (or when it’s starting to wear off), when Lenny is finished in the bathroom, his first instinct is to immediately run out of the bathroom and continue whatever he was doing before, without flushing or washing his hands, so he never does, even if I remind him right before he goes into the bathroom. But on Guanfacine, I rarely need to remind him at all – his mind has a brief pause before he leaves, and he’ll usually flush and wash hands. So then, when it comes to slightly more complicated situations in remembering what several kids have told him not to do to them, most of you have seen how that goes: Off Guanfacine (or when it’s starting to wear off), usually not well, but on Guanfacine, often (but not always) better.
And again, I’ve heard plenty of people say, “oh, this type of thing is normal in kids.” But also again, the kind of impulsivity that happens every single day, multiple times every single day, to the point that relationships – and sometimes property – are destroyed, is not normal in kids. And I’d venture to say that any and every kid that does this every single day, multiple times every single day, to the point that relationships – and sometimes property – are destroyed, has this disability known as ADHD, or perhaps some other type of brain impairment that I’m not as well versed in.
On the other hand, with regard to medication, certain meds can sometimes make the symptoms worse in certain people, in certain situations. For example, we also tried Ritalin for Lenny, on two different occasions, at different dosage levels, months apart, each for one week, and both times, his symptoms got worse. You see, Ritalin is a stimulant, and can often, but not always, help ADHD people really focus on something that’s put in front of them. If Lenny were attending a traditional school, where he was expected to sit at a desk for a large portion of the day, and stay focused on one subject for an extended period of time, perhaps Ritalin would help him with this focus. But at his actual school, which we all know is different, this laser focus isn’t expected, and so instead, the Ritalin probably sped up his motor, and reduced that pause time between impulse and action, and more problems occurred.
At some point, we’re going to try other medications, too, like Adderall, and may even others. But Adderall is also a stimulant, with a different chemical make-up. So, because it’s different, it may help in other ways, but because it’s a stimulant, it may also exacerbate the problems like Ritalin did. We won’t know until we try it. And when Ritalin caused Lenny to create more problems, and Lenny got into more trouble, I felt terrible about it, first, because other kids felt his wrath, but also because he was quote, “getting in trouble more,” and not even understanding the reasons why, because these concepts and chemical effects are difficult for children that young to fully understand.
(2) And that brings me to my second main point: It’s important to not make Lenny feel inferior for not being able to remember important things at certain moments – he simply can’t do it. I’ve always sort of known this, and sort of understood it, but as someone without ADHD myself, I only came to this full understanding recently, when I saw something happen...
A couple of weeks ago, he did something somewhat trivial in the grand scheme – I won’t get into details, but it wasn’t something that provided him with some grand material or emotional reward. It was a small, but irritating thing. I took him aside, and I spent five minutes with him, calmly trying to understand why he did it, and explaining to him why he can’t do it in the future. Then, I left for about two minutes, and when I returned, he had already done it again! And I asked him, “Why did you do that? I just got finished explaining why you can’t. Did you already forget?” And he said, “I didn’t forget; I just wasn’t thinking about it when it happened.” And I replied, “but I told you about it TWO MINUTES before it happened. How were you ALREADY not thinking about it?” And then he cried, maybe because I had upset him with my tone, but I think it was more because he felt inferior for not being able to recall this important information when he needed it, and because I unintentionally rubbed this in his face.
And this was my lightbulb moment. Already, he sometimes says to me, “Daddy, why can’t I do these things like other kids can,” and of course, I try to explain and comfort him, but it wasn’t until this specific incident, that I just mentioned, that I connected these things – his disability impairs his recall, and then this causes him to do actions that he doesn’t really want to do, and then he feels shitty about. So, rather than unintentionally rubbing it in his face like I used to, even gently, now, I try to not harp on the fact that he can’t recall these things when he needs to, and I instead try to work with him, constructively, on reminders that he thinks will help him recall pertinent information when he needs to. I hope that all of you will truly take this to heart, and please try the same.
I think this is also important when other kids grill him for not remembering, too. Of course, that’s how they feel, and they should be able to say it – they’ve probably said the same thing to Lenny dozens of times, and their frustration is entirely justified, and should be expressed. But from where I’m standing, instead of teachers jumping on that same wagon, and grilling Lenny just the same way about remembering things, even gently – as I used to – Lenny has expressed to me that it would help for teachers to assist him in expressing back to the other kids that he has this “thing” in his brain (he’s embarrassed to call it ADHD in front of other people) that makes it hard to remember things that he needs to, even if he's been told these things hundreds of times, and maybe they – Lenny and the other kid that he’s meeting with – can then work together to identify some useful in-the-moment reminders that can help him have this in-the-moment recall, right when things start, before they start to escalate.
(3) And with that, let’s get into some of these reminder ideas, which is the third point that I mentioned at the beginning of this video. For adults with ADHD, they have smart phones, with reminders that ping up all the time to remind them of things that non-ADHD people, like me, can remember without, shall we say, “technological assistance.” Or, adults will also put up sticky notes at the locations where these reminders are needed. Even kids at traditional schools can use post-its at their desks. But for Lenny, this doesn’t apply. So maybe, if we can identify areas of the yard where certain problems happen consistently, and other areas of the yard, where different problems happen consistently, maybe we can put up a little sign, or a sticker, or a poop emoji picture that will catch his eye, and serve as a reminder. In fact, this leads me to another revelation I recently had about these reminders…
I used to think that, when teachers are around, Lenny respects limits more because he fears the consequences if he doesn’t – he figures, I used to think, that the teachers will see Lenny creating a problem, and they’ll get upset, so he’s more on guard when they’re watching. However, in light of the recent incident that I mentioned above (and many others like it), I’m starting to rethink this. While that still may be true, I think this is more likely: Lack of teachers’ eyes on him doesn’t cause him to actively think, “Oh, now’s my chance to do what I’m not supposed to!” Rather, lack of teachers’ eyes on him give him no reminder to recall that he’s not supposed to do it. When he notices teachers watching, he doesn’t restrain himself because he fears consequences, he restrains himself because noticing the teachers’ eyes remind him to.
I don’t know, maybe big googly eyes stuck to a nearby fence would serve as a similar reminder when teachers’ eyes aren’t there? Either way, Lenny asked me to table this for the time being. He’s embarrassed to have to be the only kid with visual reminders around the yard, but I made it clear to him that if these things continue, we’re going to have to try the reminders, and that we’ll try them in a way that doesn’t single him out, but rather, applies to “the school” rather than just “to him.” So, I would just ask the teachers – if these reminders become necessary, which I think they probably will – to please discuss with Lenny beforehand, and implement in a way that he’s comfortable with and not embarrassed by.
(4) Now, I touched upon this fourth point earlier, but I wanted to address it in more detail here: And that’s the point about tapering Lenny onto and off of different medications that we may try. Of course, the other kids won’t know when this is happening, but I’ve asked Marlon to at least please let all of the teachers know when it is, so that, hopefully, all of you can please extend your already generous patience a bit further anytime this is happening. As many of you know, problems were heightened a handful of weeks ago. What you may not have known, or had full color on, is that these heightened problems coincided exactly with tapering Lenny onto Ritalin, and then back off of it again, one week later, when it didn’t work. This led to some problematic habits, and even when Lenny had fully tapered off of Ritalin, it still took a few more days to fully break these habits and get back to his pre-Ritalin, on-Guanfacine self.
But during this “period of Ritalin,” there were more problems, and the school’s tolerance got very low, and Lenny felt very punished for actions that were, unknown-to-him, caused by chemical reactions that we – more or less – forced on him, against his will, with pills. And for that, I feel terrible; yes, the recipient children were also treated unfairly, of course, but I also think this was unfair to Lenny, for him to feel “less than” for a root cause (i.e. Ritalin) that was implemented by us. To continue to try to improve his experience, and the other children’s experiences, and the teachers’ experiences, we’re going to try to work with Lenny’s psychiatrist to experiment with new medications and dosages, but it’s likely that some of them won’t work at all, and that others might make things worse, just like the Ritalin did. And so, in the future, when this happens, now that you have this understanding, I really hope that you’ll please expand your already-vast tolerance just a little bit further, knowing that, in those situations, it really is the meds, and not the kid.
(5) And finally, there’s this fifth point I mentioned at the beginning – this point that Marlon had brought up with me: That it would benefit us all to help him empathize, so that perhaps some of the impulses dissipate, and then the reminders of those situations aren’t necessary. Well, guess what – empathy is also a component of executive function, and Lenny has EFD, Executive Function Disorder, better and inaccurately known as ADHD. So, even though I love the idea, I’m just not sure it’s going to be likely, or even possible, that this will work. But as long as we approach it gently, careful to not make him feel less than if he can’t do it, I certainly see no harm in trying. All of you are better trained than I am in helping children empathize with others, so I’ll follow your lead on this.
And really, that’s about it for now. Again, I really want to thank all of you SO MUCH for being SO PATIENT in ways that most other people just aren’t. The fact that you’ve even watched this entire video, with my ugly mug rambling, lets me know that you care about Lenny more than almost anyone else does. I think that if we can all remember to gently and discretely treat his ADHD as a disability, and not make him feel inferior for its symptoms – especially memory, and help him with discrete reminders, and be a bit more patient when we’re trying new meds, and help him with empathy – even though that might not work – if we try all of these things, life will be easier, and just more fun, for everyone, including all of the kids. So, thank you again, and if you want to ask me any questions, or discuss any of this with me, please feel free to call me anytime. My phone number is 555-555-5555. Thanks again!