First time “builder” here-
I will soon have a Uintah UPR-10 and I want a semi auto upper for it, most likely an Aero M5E1 16”, my question is what type of buffer spring/weight should I use? The lower is gonna have a PRS lite stock and the aero has a mid length gas system.
I’m more of an AK goblin so I am unfamiliar with these things. Any help is appreciated

When I owned my own place I use to grill a few times a week on just a small coleman portable gas grill on the patio. Ribeye was 7.99/lb at Trader Joe's and life was good.
Fast forward to today I'm living in a different city in a rented apt, with no patio or area I can grill in. The landlady would have a heart attack if I bought something like a gas grill so I'm looking for something electric, or stovetop, with which to cook which wouldn't piss her off.
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I just bought a matfeur carbon steel so I'll be trying that. But I've searched the BBQ forum and years older posts indicate things like stovetop smokers, or electric smokers, are a possibility too. I even saw one product for like 20 bucks which claims you can add it to any kind of cook (oven, grill, etc) and it will add smoke flavor. I saw others that looked like buffet trays with a grill and place for wood chips under which could add smoke flavor on the stovetop.
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Just wondering what the best flavor might come from here, I've never smoked, I'm open to whatever. My little gas coleman use to provide very delicious crusts and flavor I was extremely satisified with. I'll likely do steaks (not even sure what's affordable any more, ribeye, tri tip, etc), burgers, and maybe some veggies. Not a fish guy unless it's a fish taco. Likely won't do chicken. But turkey legs could be a thing if I brined them first!
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Anyway just looking for more recent ideas of indoor grill/bbq solutions!
Thanks for your time.

Okay, before I start I want to say that my mom knows I'm dating my boyfriend, I'm 16, he turned 18 today, but we're only a year apart, hes 0'5, I'm 0'6.
I tried to talk to my mom about meeting my boyfriend and his parents before but she shut me down and said that she wants to do it on her own time and that she doesn't want to be rushed, so I didn't say anything more about it.
I only talked to her about him once and yesterday makes twice because me and her don't have a good relationship at all but that's a different story.
My boyfriend walked me to school on Thursday, he's a senior and they had no school that day since all juniors had to take a regents exam, he woke up early thinking he had school but when I told him it was only me he just walked me.
He ended up talking about his birthday, which is today, he said he was going to the beach, then dinner, then he was going to have a bonfire and a party, I didn't know these were his plans, before Thursday I really didn't think of going because before, he said he was just going to hang with his guy friends, but thats not the case anymore I see and he said he would like for me to be there as he wants to spend his birthday with me.
I immediately told him that I don't think I'll be able to go because of my mom, she won't have any money, I don't have any money and I have no ride to get there and back, he understood and I told him that I'll ask anyways because it doesn't hurt to ask.
When I got home I tried to ease into asking her by saying that my boyfriend's birthday was the next day and he wants me to hang out with him, and I told her his plans, before I could even ask if she would be okay with me going, she caught an attitude and started saying that she doesn't even know him, he hasn't had the decency to talk to her or get to know her, she hasn't met his parents, she doesn't have a phone number, she doesn't know where I'll be, I sat and heard her out, I told her that she hasn't met him because she said herself that she didn't want to be rushed into meeting anyone, and I also told her I didn't plan on going to his birthday until he told me he wanted me there.
She started saying that if he wants me to go he has a few hours to meet her demands and said that she has never had a boyfriend her mom didn't know about and she's going to keep it going like that, she then asked why I couldn't call him at that very moment and I said I couldn't because I knew he was pretty busy.
She kept talking about him in a way I didn't like, she said that he needs to man up and speak to her, and if he wants me to go, she wants a phone number, a parent to talk to, an address, she asked for reasonable and understandable things any caring parent would ask for.
But I was upset, not at what she was asking, but the way she went about everything, she flipped on me, cussed me out in the process of making her demands, and made me feel stupid for asking.
I ended up going to my room and crying while texting my boyfriend about what happened and telling him to forget it, he ended up giving me his mom's number to give to my mom, and when she called, she got upset that she didn't get an answer, and when I told her that she might be busy because she has a newborn, she was still upset, instead of being understanding that her call couldn't be answered because of that.
Then my mom got upset because my boyfriend was sending me messages when in her words he could be speaking to her and that he must not be that busy if he's texting me, he sent his number to me to send to my mom and she sent her number to me to send to him saying that she'll be expecting a call, that part got me really upset too because she was making things way harder than it needed to be, she could have simply just called him, then when he did call, my mom had an attitude the entire time, and was trying to make it seem like he was going to try and do something to me while we were out.
Now I was under the impression his parents would be there but he told her that there would be no parental supervision, and it would be him and his guy friends, and I learned that the beach he wanted to go to was pretty far.
She got off of the phone and my boyfriend messaged me saying I was right to just forget it.
My mom came into my room going off on me asking if I really thought she was going to let me go out with no parental supervision and it's just going to be him and his guy friends, my boyfriend later told me his friends girlfriends were going to be there too but we knew it wouldn't make a difference.
She started making it seem like I was gonna try and do stuff with him and his friends or they would try and do stuff with me, she kept implying that I was "expecting" her to let me go which wasn't the case at all, she kept saying that I was just trying to be alone with a boy, she was putting a lot of words in my mouth.
After she left I started crying, I didn't cry about the fact that I couldn't go, yes it was a bummer and I was disappointed as I'm sure any teenager would be, but the reason I was crying was because of the way she handled the situation, I was embarrassed, and I felt incredibly stupid, she made me feel and look stupid for asking.
She came back and asked me if I was really crying about it, and I tried to talk to her about how I feel and say it in a respectful way, I told her I wasn't trying to be disrespectful but I felt like she was being mean about the situation, I told her I understood why I couldn't go but I felt like she was being mean about the way she handled it.
I could barely get the words out because she was yelling at me in the middle of me talking asking me what I thought she was being and after I finished she said she was trying to protect me, while still yelling at me, and that I basically had no right to be upset, she said "I'm trying to protect you and you wanna sit and cry because you can't hang out with a boy, alone, and with his guy friends."
Then she started listing things I should have been crying about, she basically invalidated my feelings, it all made me cry even harder after she said that I was acting like she wasn't that young once and that she doesn't know what happens, she started slamming things around and said that the day before I didn't do my chore at all and all this other stuff, then went into her room and said that she wanted to punch something so bad it wasn't even funny.
Then my sister, who's 13, came into my room and told me she heard everything and was livid, we talked about the situation and I told her how I didn't know that there wasn't going to be any adults there, and that it wasn't even about me wanting to spend time alone with him or do anything inappropriate with him, that was the farthest thing from my mind, I simply wanted to be there for him on his birthday as a supportive and loving girlfriend, but she wasn't trying to understand or see my point of view, I also explained that I wasn't expecting her to let me go, I knew she wouldn't but I asked for my boyfriend in case there was a chance I could have, I didn't want to ask her, and I would have and do understand that she said no, but the way she handled the situation with such anger and what felt like hatred directed towards me and my boyfriend and his family is what made me cry and feel the way I did, my boyfriend even told he was pissed.
My mom then came back into my room and asked what the topic of conversation was and asked if it was her, I tried to ignore her because I was already riled up and just wanted it all to end, but she kept saying "hello name I'm talking to you" to which I replied no, then she said that the last thing I wanted to do was give her an attitude and then closed my door.
My sister got fed up with it and swung the door open and went to talk my mom, she waited until she was done yelling and screaming about me and tried to tell her that I understood why I couldn't go and that I wasn't upset about it and that I didn't know that there wasn't going to be any adults there, but my mom tried to make it seem like I lied about it.
Then at some point she told me that my boyfriend tried to get smart with her, when in reality she asked him if he understood why she couldn't let me go and he said he didn't, then she asked him if he would let his daughter hang out with her boyfriend and his friends alone to which he replied that if she was a teenager then yes and I'm guessing my mom didn't like that answer and he told her that he just doesn't agree with her.
My sister was asking my mom if she could calm down and have a civilized talk with me but my mom was ignoring her and my sister came into my room crying asking if I would go on a walk with her so we could cool down, we got ready and heard my mom screaming and crying on the phone to her mom and they proceeded to talk negatively about me, after about 20 to 30 minutes of sitting on the porch and venting she messaged me and told me to come to her room.
I went into her room and she explained why she acted the way she did, her reasoning was that her blowing up the way she did wasn't even about the situation with me and my boyfriend, it was because she had no money, we had no food, the wifi was cut off, and the gas was/is about to get shut off and she was under a lot of stress and just snapped, she told me that she has to protect me more than she did before because of a situation with my sperm donor (sexual abuse) and that with how many girls get offed by men these days, she wouldn't be able to sleep knowing she let me go and then I never make it home, she apologized and pleaded for me to be able to understand why she said no.
I told her I understand, by that point we were both shedding tears, she told me she knows I need to have fun, but it can't be alone and where she can't get to me or call me or anything, we made up and everything has been fine since then.
But I'm still upset about it all, she really hurt my feelings and for some reason, even though she apologized I can't let it go, I talked about it with someone and they told me I was being petty and had no right to still dwell over the situation, today's my boyfriends birthday and I guess it all just hit harder than when it happened and I need some advice, do I let it go? Was the person right? Do I not have any rights to dwell over it anymore?

TLDR; Followed beginners guide exactly. Linked wallet to MetaMask. Connected MetaMask to OpenSea. Listed avatar for sale, had MATIC deducted but OpenSea says I have no active listings.
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Can someone help me list my avatar for sale on OpenSea? I’m not sure what’s going on. This is my first time listing something for sale so I read the newcomers guide and it looks like I followed all the steps exactly.
I successfully imported my Reddit wallet into MetaMask. Then I linked MetaMask to OpenSea using the browser built in. I can see all of my avatars that I own and all of the offers I already have on OpenSea, but I want to actually list mine for sale for a certain price.
So I go to my profile, click on the individual avatar that I want to list, click “List for sale”, give it a fixed price in MATIC and a duration, then I click “Complete listing”. Then I get to a page that shows my estimated gas fees and total. I have enough MATIC to cover the transaction so I click confirm.
That’s when I get to a page that’s says “Confirm Collection. Go to your wallet. You'll be asked to approve this collection from your wallet. You only need to approve each collection once.”
There isn’t anything I can do other than click the x to close the notification. Then it says transaction complete. MATIC was taken from my account. In my MetaMask wallet you can see a confirmed smart contract interaction and view it on Polygonscan, but when I go back to OpenSea it says I have no active or inactive listings. What gives? This is my first time listing something for sale. I tried this twice with the same outcome and it’s been almost 24hrs.

Hello.
I will remain anonymous in this discussion but I wanted to let you all know what this message is for. It's for the sheer amount of incompetence I've experienced for my first ever rental. I live in IN and they own our apartment complex. We moved in about 7 months ago, last October.
The "tour" they give is a joke. You have to pay them to even get a chance to go into the property and then you never talk to anyone in person. Not to mention the apartment was filthy.
We decided to go ahead and take the place because the rental property said that it was ready to be inhabited now and that it was all taken care of etc.
Move-in day: we get there with all our stuff and guess what it is filthy just like before. Dirty carpet from the 80s, never cleaned behind appliances, black mold in the vents, ac panel didn't even work, all the outlets weren't functioning properly, filthy bathrooms and everything, not to mention roaches that have shown up. Never seen them before in my entire life. Also on top of this the doors weren't sealed correctly in the winter and I wasn't about to wait for their lazy good for nothing team to help with that. Fixed it myself and ofc they didn't reimburse me for the stuff I FIXED.
But of course they make you sign the rental agreement before moving in. ( My biggest mistake of my life ) but they willing and KNEW it was filthy but still said it was a habitable environment. It took us 4 months to get all of this fixed btw and we still have had issue after issue with this complex and they don't give a crap unless you mention anything about money. Then they care.
It's now closing in on half a year of living here and the only plus I would give is the home is quiet. The refrigerator is missing a light that doesn't work at all, we haven't been able to wash our clothes in a month now too, and we still have a bug issue. Oh I forgot to mention that the stove was put in incorrectly and Bec of that we had a gas leak for god knows how long too.
The kicker? Was on Christmas Eve a pipe burst and our living room flooded and we had to deal with that OURSELVES. You know the reimbursement I got for 2 days of shop vaccing our carpet? (After 2 weeks of arguing about it) $90 👏👏👏 amazing. After that, that was it. I want out so bad it's incredible how bad they are at doing anything right.
Overall NEVER EVER EVER EVER rent from these people. They will not respond to you for days and you will have to constantly email them over and over to get any response and most of the time the responses will be "we haven't heard any update, still waiting on that I'll get back when I hear something" and they never do. It's always you contacting them like a puppy trying to get food.
Everyone there is incredibly stupid, incompetent, and doesn't give a crap about you only your money.
So after all this, what do you think I should do? Break my lease and don't look back or live there till the lease ends and then dip asap. At this point I don't care either way.
TLDR: Property Management of Louisville should be avoided at all cost unless you like paying for an apartment with bug, health, and appliance issues. As well as a team that doesn't care at all unless it involves you paying your rent on time.

I don't own anything that uses gas. My main worry is if it's a part of a larger grift, or if my information is compromised elsewhere. Has anyone run across this?

Last night, I sat down to eat dinner. I was in a good mood, nothing major going wrong with my life. Upon my first bite, I noticed a spot in my vision. I could instantly tell something was off and within seconds, I felt like I was on drugs or something. I was unbelievably disoriented. I was pouring sweat by the buckets, I lost almost all hearing in my left ear, my limbs were tingling and basically any horrifying symptom you can think of, I was experiencing it. It’s the closest I’ve come to going “lights out” in my life. I thought I was about to die, plain and simple. It was both terrifying and also a wake up call.
About 2 minutes into the ordeal, I felt like I was about to poop my pants. I was too weak to make it to the bathroom so I told myself, “whatever just do it if you need to.” I eventually farted a few times and… the symptoms went away.
Similar versions of this happened to me 5 or 6 years ago when I was dealing with constipation on a regular basis. Feelings of anxiety relieved by passing gas. It just never got to this level of misery. I had gotten it under control for years through diet changes, but admittedly, I have been eating poorly for the last few months, even noticing the constipation making a return.
It feels and seems obvious that the 2 are connected and I’ve seen online, here and there, other people experience the same thing. I guess I’m eager to know if anyone here shares the same experience, but may be able to offer insight. It seems to be somewhat rare, as I can’t seem to find more than some casual mentions sometimes.
I’ll be visiting a doctor as quickly as possible, but in the meantime, I feel like I can’t be the only one who specifically has this Intestinal Gas / Panic attack issue.
Does this sound like impaction? Gas? Combo of the 2?
I want to be clear, again, that I will be consulting a doctor and I don’t consider any responses to be actual medical advice.
Honestly, I just feel a bit alone and this and am hoping someone can offer some perspective.
Sorry if I put this in the wrong place. I haven’t used Reddit in a while.

So Id like to start by saying I never want to get back with my ex but I'm not able to get rid of her from my mind. I left her because of alot of reasons that built up over the years and I finally could not take it.
Unfortunately I've noticed that whenever I'm in an anxiety driven situation or any incident happens, that night I tend to get nightmares about my ex in some form or the other. I call them nightmares instead of dreams because most of the time I'm anxious in the dream as well.
Tonight I woke up at 4am again where I had a nightmare. My ex who was blocked on every platform somehow got through and was calling me. I didn't pick up but got anxious. For some reason I called back (irl I've resisted the callback alot as I've got alot to say but I wanted to cut the connection completely) and luckily she didn't pick up. But after a minute she kept calling back again and again and when I picked up it was a video call where she was smiling and telling me nasty things and was for some reason giving me updates on how she moved on. The next minute she would switch to pleading to return and again go back to gloating how she doesn't need me.
Now I don't want to pay my own back and say I'm wonderful and so amazing that she would plead for me to come back but in reality she did alot for months when we broke up.
I even met her the day I broke up to give her closure but she zoned out alot that day and infact sexual harrased me alot. Few days later was valentine's day and I know alot of people will think it's really sad I broke up before that but I did for a reason. I couldn't fake it anymore. I was not able to smile, laugh and pretend anymore and I thought this would give her false hope for another month for me to again feel like things aren't working. A week later was her birthday and yes I was extremely guilty but again as I said, i couldn't fake it. Valentine's day and then throwing a celebration for her birthday (I did this every year and Is generally keep it special but this year I could not) seemed to just endorse a false Reality for a longer time. Things were miserable. I empathized and sympathize alot (not cause I'm better or anything but because of guilt) so i still picked her calls up after we broke up and didn't block her. But then things got nasty. In order to make herself feel better, I got really horrible messages, blame for things I never did, constant pleading and she even landed below my house multiple times and cried in the street which I had to handle in front of my entire community (my sister practices buddhism and it was a big day that for her, she had invited alot of people to our house to chant together and wanted my family and I to be there to support but due to this incident I was really rattled because my ex was down crying while everyone was in the house, my ex knew about this meeting because it was planned months in advance). As the messages got nasty I blocked her. First on WhatsApp, then on Facebook, then on Instagram (all 4 accounts of hers), then on Google meet, teams, i don't even know where all, as she kept finding me and messaging. Even on email. Her emails still come through in my spam and it's made me very anxious as I still land up checking the spam folder everyday in fear and clear it. It's become a bad habit. Randomly I'll get calls from odd numbers and it'll turn out to be her friends phone and she will talk and I cut the call. I even got video calls on Google meet from her 3rd and 4th email which I had to block.
It may sound brutal but I really tried to give closure to her on the day we broke up, I spent 5 hrs at house explaining everything and instead she zoned out that day and kept get distracted as if she doesn't care and kept sexual harrasing me. Pulling my shirt and unbuckling my pants which unfortunately as a guy I can't push her away i can only tell her several times to stop.
Now I'll be completely honest but I did not tell her every single thing as to why I broke up with her because the anxiety was so much. I was trying to break up since a while and finally did it. I'm extremely socially anxious and everything makes me very nervous when I'm unfamiliar. It's only my second relationship and first time I was serious, my first relationship only lasted 3 months and that was my therapist telling me to explore because I need to be out there. The reason I never said everything is because 1. I didn't want to hurt her ofcourse, it's nasty to hear someone you loved talk about things that can be looked at as flaws but in reality they were affecting me and it was really unhealthy for the both of us 2. I didn't know myself, I knew things are not right but it's only after the break up I've truly understood them 3. I was nervous as she kept saying she wants to suicide from the balcony and threatened me alot of I left that night 4. I genuinely am bad at confrontations, I cannot do it, the pressure makes me run away mostly or just let it be as is.
Over the course of the relationship I had become very dependent on her as socially she's the only person I met. Every weekend or weekday for 2.5 years. I suffered from depression and anxiety alot growing up and often found it hard to make friends. In college however things changed and for those years I was really open. As I did my master's in another country I became reserved again. Returning back home I lost touch with everyone and became a workaholic. For 6 years I worked say and night, had only 2 friends and stayed in my room mostly depressed. Work took me around the globe, I lived in LA for a year and then once covid hit I returned home where during the lockdown I decided " let's try to open up a bit more and meet someone, it's time ". I was very open from the get go that I'm horrible at socializing, I've got only few friends whom I hardly meet, I can be very quiet sometimes and enjoy my own company as well sometimes and I'm a terrible planner for "fun weekends". I know my flaws and I've accepted it. My ex on the other hand was very emotionally dependent on me. She would call me at a stop of a hat and panick and there were days where I've left calls in between to help her through her anxiety. She was younger than me by 3 years and was just going through the phases of career while I was going into a senior position and had seen these phases. I guided her alot on it and so family problems, work problems, random people bothering her, stress anything she would talk to me and I was ever ready to talk. No complaints as that's what partners do. However it became without any boundaries, she would often expect me to drop everything and tend to her. Days where I've got major deliveries to make, she would throw tantrums and in one instance I was supervising the biggest project of my life and she threw lots of tantrums as we worked weekends and 24 hrs round the clock. It was the biggest movie of the country at the time and the first big hit post covid. (i work in the film industry).
I mentioned my flaws earlier as those became her focus of complaint. My insecurities were her complaints about me and she even once broke up with me over "lack of friends and not being a man enough because I can't plan things for the weekend", no doubt she taught me how to have a good time, I had no idea which restaurant to book, what cuisine to pick, which area to book this weekend which is exciting, how to do more fun activities other than dinners and going to cafes etc and for the first I learnt what's a staycation cause of her. I guess she felt the burden was on her but then again anything I'd book she would cancel it anyways. I booked several restaurants that were good but she'd cancel it anyways and then ehen someone else would recommend the restaurant she'd agree to go. It's almost like I had no say in anything anyways so I put my hands up. My social anxiety 5 years was at an all time high and I couldn't even order food as I'd feel the waiter would judge me (which they often did) , I attended lots of therapy for these weird quirks of mine which to an average person seemed like no biggie but it genuinely made me nervous. I got over and thought by the time I met her I'd made good progress, I was able to pick up the phone and book things sometimes, I could order food, I was fine with video calls (I'm very conscious of how I look as I was bullied alot in school), I tried to participate in everything and I gave in all my efforts instead into understanding her and learning who she is first and putting my fears aside. However I feel she didn't do the same. For a long time i believed she understood exactly whats wrong with me and empathized and put it aside but i realised as the taunting went on and the gas lighting that she looked at them as flaws. She didn't bother to understand them or see them but instead gave me notes like a teacher and complained alot on how I'm not social. Infact on her birthday she kept messaging me she's alone so I felt guilty and called and instead she complained about all my insecurities and I had to take it quietly. She even said "I'll make sure the next person treats me like woman and is a real man" which really hurt me alot. I cried that night because of guilt and shame. Guilt because I wanted it work and it didn't and so I had to pull the plug and Shame because for first time in a long time I felt ashamed for who I am.
Today the anxiety driven situation was a social situation. I've come to the US for a family friends wedding and although I know people it's really making me nervous. Indian weddings last the entire week and this wedding has 250 people who have eyes on me constantly as I know few of them or my family knows them. Today was the first day and as usual I was lost, my sister on the other hand is extremely social and I used to depend on her. However a year ago she got drunk in a wedding again while we were out of town and told me "You're social life depends on me you loser" and then proceeded to abuse me alot for no reason while I was helping her as she puked. This wedding it makes me nervous and alone, I cling to my parents and the younger crowd stares at me alot pulling me to dance and I'm very awkward. Idk how to join in or have fun I'm very conscious and Idk any of the songs as I generally don't enjoy Hindi music (not cause of snobbishness but cause I don't get it, I'm more into exploring mellow music and Bollywood sounds all the same to me, also working in Hollywood and Bollywood I'm fed up of movies so I don't watch half of them).
I'm sorry for the long post, it's just that I'm awake and wondering why I got these nightmares, how to get rid of them, how to survive the next few days and what am I doing with my life. There were alot of pretty girls here today and all I could think of was "They are all too much fun for me, I'll bore them to death"

My 19 year old son had his procedure Wednesday with Dr Bastian. He threw up yesterday (day 3) and it sounded super loud. He had complained of pressure (air) building up in his chest and feeling uncomfortable before hand. After throwing up he realized he needs to watch what he eats and stick to blander foods that don’t build up gas as much. He had a cheese and turkey panini before and some ice cream and I think the dairy was the problem. After I went to bed around 11pm he sent a text saying “This is horrible its just constant gurgles and air coming out I cant even relax to go to bed.” I wasn’t expecting him to feel this horrible, and the throwing up wasn’t something I’d read in this group happening after the procedure. I know we are only 4 days out but he’s feeling pretty pessimistic about getting the procedure done and I thought maybe someone could give him (and myself) some advice, foods that work best and if these symptoms of constant gurgling and not able to sleep because of it were short lived.

Taking the bus instead of a car to work allows me to text my friends on the way to work, read, eat, NAP if I want to, listen to music or audiobooks with headphones on, NOT have to worry about gas, parking, asshole drivers, getting my own self out of traffic.
I simply get taken to my workplace without having to do anything besides just sit there and enjoy the ride. It allows me to mentally charge and get some R&R before I arrive. and most importantly, I save SO MUCH money. Even if I had my own car I would take the bus every single time.
Of course it isn't always that simple, I live in a 3rd world shithole where the government is desperately trying to car-ify every single neighborhood while neglecting public transport. There are many places that are flat out unaccessable by public transport, but if I can get to any place using transport I would take the transport EVERY single time simply because of the savings and being spared the burden of owning an expensive 1 ton vehicle.

My Great Great Grandfather Arthur Lee Thomas (b. 1890 in Rockingham Co, VA) disappeared in Detroit, MI on July 25, 1914 when he abandoned his wife Sylvia and unborn son. No one ever heard from him again, I haven't been able to find him in any of the main sources for the time after his January 1914 marriage (Cincinnati), he was left out of family obituaries, and never appeared to court summons for Sylvia's 1919 divorce (which provides the abandonment date & place).
I've started reaching out to Ancestry users who appear to be descended from Arthur's family to see if any stories of what happened to him were passed down through their branches. So far, I've heard back from two prople; they didn't have much but I'm curious if you guys would have any suggestions based on what they said.

1. A grandson of Sylvia and her second husband said that he believes Arthur went to Canada, possibly to join the Canadian Expeditionary Forces to fight in WWI, which started at the same time Arthur disappeared. I upgraded to World Explorer and have checked (1) US Passport Applications, (2) CEF Personnel files, (3) Border Crossings to Canada, and (4) 1921 Canadian Census. Unfortunately, I haven't found any good matches for Arthur (including alternative names like Art Thomas, Lee Thomas, Thomas Arthur, etc). I even manually looked through the images of border crossings at Windsor & nearby entry points in the year starting June 1914; if he crossed to Canada immediately after leaving Detroit it was undocumented or he used a fake name.
   
2. A descendant of Arthur's brother Howard, Cousin 1 (my 4th cousin), said "My father said it was told he [Arthur] explored the world riding rails". Cousin 1 asked his father for me, who said he remembered the story coming from an "uncle or cousin" of Cousin 1's grandfather (deceased). Based on some more information, I figured out that the person was the son of another of Arthur's brothers (Arthur's nephew, Cousin 2). Interestingly, Cousin 2 had enlisted in the army and served 3 tours of duty overseas. Unfortunately, he passed only a few years ago. I found his son on Facebook and reached out, but never heard back. Cousin 1 suggested I reach out to his cousin (Cousin 3) on Facebook, because Cousin 1s grandaunt is still living and might remember more. Cousin 3 did respond and said he was interested and would ask, but when I followed up a month later I never heard back.
   

2b. Cousin 1 also said his grandfather would tell of a cousin who went to New Jersey and lived out his life in abandoned box cars, but didn't know if this story is connected or about someone else. So far, I haven't figured out who this might be.
So, does anyone have any suggestions on where to look next? I'm running out of other descendants of the family with accounts on Ancestry to contact, including 5 or 6 who haven't responded. My gut feeling is that Arthur went to Canada after abandoning Sylvia in Detroit - how better to avoid family responsibilities than to go to another country that's right there - so are there any other Canadian sources from the time I should check? The "explored the world on the railways" story contains no helpful information and opens my search to the entire planet, but does it inspire any longshot suggestions?

Through the process of healing, I'm finding out my C-PTSD could be the result of (or symptoms from) being not recognized as Autistic. Instead of receiving inclusion, nurture, and support, I was seen as impertinent or mouthy, a spoiled "brat" because of all the things I was sensitive to (fabrics, foods, sounds, colours), and stubborn. Instead of suggestions and gentle touch, I got the back hand and screamed insults, "Aren't you listening? Are you stupid??" Instead of love, I got legs whipped with a belt for asking an adult too many questions or being overstimulated, needing co-regulation. Instead of love, when I was excited and wanted to share my newfound wealth of discovery, they turned with a sneer and said, "Ask me if I care." I became the scapegoat because I made the most noise and didn't like the same things as everyone else at home. I felt hated; like I never belonged. Christianity lapped heartily upon the worthlessness program it fed me. For years I believed my mother's accusations that I was crazy, like my (nonexistant) dad. Like one does, my normal had me believing everyone was like my family. All the kids at school were; even the adults at church, too. They wagged fingers and told me not to do what they were doing, shooed me away from any fun I had, then spiritually shamed me for "wasting time," being "too obsessed," or sinful and wretched, destined for hell. I felt like I was never going to find people like me; all of my family picked at each other, trying to be top dog at anyone's expense but crowing to the public that they were devoted, faithful, forgiving, generous, loving, patient Christian parents. Even my best friend was competing with me; I didn't even give a damn about being the "best," or "right," --unless I was wrongfully accused. Then all hell broke loose. Those acts surely got me physically and verbally assaulted by parental figures, siblings, and even mates. There are signs of Autism in my brothers uncles, my Grandfather, and "female autism" traits in my mother, for certain. She couldn't hug for beans. I remember trying to teach her how at 2 or 3 years old. I felt so sorry for her... At age 50, when I learned of neurodivergence I got excited. Then, I started meeting neurospicy and neurodivergent people & we just "got" each other. It was effortless! We clicked and we love encouraging each other to succeed. It's contagious. We're awkward and love that about each other. We're fan-girls. We love music -and our tastes differ, but that's cool. When we disagree, we aren't arguing, we discuss; we don't insult or punch down. We are excited for one another's successes, and show presence and even cry with each other's losses. It feels unreal! To me, it's a surprise that there are honest, caring people like me who base their lives on their integrity, not someone else's idea of what one should look/act/be like. Now that I'm no contact with my family and divorced from an abusive ex, I've felt the sense of Safety I only experienced unexpectedly as a youth and into adulthood. Like so many before, I've been in Survival modes freeze, fight, flight, and fawn for a lifetime. This body has grown accustomed to a toxic hormone concoction. Today I'm feeling calm and peace and that shit feels good. It's helping me heal quickly. Calm and peace far outweigh anxiety and fear programming. Without hypervigilance constantly running, my memory is getting strong again, I'm sleeping better, with very few night terrors, anymore, and often waking feeling rested. Therapy sessions make more progress; I'm able to retain new information; I have learned my emotions (parents emotionally illiterate) and use coping skills when overstimulated. I'm no longer taking the blame for my parent's inability to love; they don't know love like I do. That's pitiful. See if you fit in the Neurodivergent slot, like me. It's made my entire life make some sense, finally.

Hello! I have a bunch of old Humble Bundles and some other keys up for trade. I have them organized 2 ways: 1) by specific humble bundles, 2) alphabetized at the very bottom. Hopefully that makes it easier to find what you are looking for!
I'm mostly interested in trading with people who plan to activate immediately instead of retrading later.
Humble Non-Choice Bundles :
In Your Face VR
Superfly
Battle Group VR
Zenith: The Last City
Humble Spring into VR Leftovers
Star Trek: Bridge Crew
Surgeon Simulator: Experience Reality
Humble VR Emporium Leftovers
House Flipper VR
Zero Caliber VR
Scary Games to Play in the Dark
Propnight
The Blackout Club
Them and Us
SCP: 5K
Amazing Adventures
Beyond a Steel Sky
Alfred Hitchcock Vertigo
Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
Resident Evil Decades of Horror
Resident Evil HD Remaster
Resident Evil 0 HD Remaster
Humble Capcom
Strider
Bionic Commando
Street Fighter V
Ultra Street Fighter IV
Humble T1D
Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
Bartlow's Dread Machine
Super Meat Boy
Rad
Pine
Gauntlet Slayer Edition
Humble Extras
Oxenfree
Vikings Wolves of Midgard
Gabriel Knight 3
Battalion 1944
Deadbeat Heroes
Octahedron: Transfixed Edition
Oh My Godheads
Niche
Magicat
Evergarden
Equilinox
To the Moon
Sims 3
Sims 3 High End Loft Stuff
Sims 3 Late Night
Sims 3 Date Night
Burnout Paradise Ultimate Box
Command and Conquer Red Alert 3 Uprising
Medal of Honor (Origin)
Burnout Paradise (Origin)
Mirror's Edge Origin
Command and Conquer Red Alert 3 Uprising Origin
Popolous Origin
Humble Choice Bundles:
April 2023 Choice
Aliens: Fireteam Elite
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Revita
Founders' Fortune
October 2022 Choice
Disciples Liberation
Epic Chef
Railroad Corporation
Golf Gang
August 2022 Choice
The Ascent
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Gas Station Simulator
In Sound Mind
Humble June 2022
Phoenix Point GOTY
Siege Survival Gloria Victis
GameDec
Pumpkin Jack
I am Fish
Humble May 2022
Spongebob Battle for Bikini Bottom
Command and Conquer Remastered Collection (must activate by June 7th)
Spellcaster University
Embr
Humble April 2020 (5 Choices Left)
This is the Police 2
Raiden V Director's Cut
Driftland: Magic Revival
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
TruberBrook
Shoppe Keep 2
Capitalism 2
Humble June 2020 (5 Choices Left)
Supraland
Grid Ultimate Edition
Hellblade Senua's Sacrifice
Felix the Reaper
Men of War: Assault Squad 2
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Overload
The King's Bird
Humble August 2020 Leftovers
Wargroove
Little Big Workshop
Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
Humble September 2020 Leftovers
Golf with Your Friends
Vampire the Masquerade Coteries of New York
Fun with Ragdolls the Game
Strange Brigade
Catherine Classic
Humble October 2020 Leftovers
Tropico 6 El Prez Edition
Iron Danger
Autonauts
Shadows Awakening
Fantasy Blacksmith
Goat of Duty
The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day
Basement
Humble November 2020 Leftovers
Darksiders 3
Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
Crying Suns
Darksburg
Rover Mechanic Simulator
Townsmen: A Kingdom Rebuilt
Humble December 2020 Leftovers
Shining Resonance Refrain
Zwei: The Arges Adventure
Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection
Tabletop Playground
Humble January 2021 Leftovers
PC Building Simulator
Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Total Tank Simulator
Not Tonight
Vampire TM: Shadows of New york
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
Humble February 2021
Outward + The Soroboreans + Soundtrack
Endless Space 2 Digital Deluxe
Trine 4
The Wild Eight
Train Station Renovation
Boomerang Fu
Werewolf: Heart of the Forest
Humble March 2021
Control Standard Edition
Xcom: Chimera Squad
Elex
Kingdom Two Crowns
WWE 2K Battleground
Hotshot Racing
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Cyber Hook
Pesterquest
Wildfire
Boreal Blade
Ageless
Humble April 2021
Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
F1 2020
Shenmue 3
Main Assembly
Rock of Ages 3
In Other Waters
Aven Colony
Colt Canyon
Skully
Popup Dungeon
Humble May 2021
Darksiders Genesis
Hellpoint
Cook, Serve, Delicious 3
Fury Unleashed
Size Matters
Retimed
Family Man
Vane
Humble Alphabetical List
Agatha Christie Hercule Poirot The First Cases
Ageless
Alfred Hitchcock Vertigo
Aliens: Fireteam Elite
Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey
Autonauts
Aven Colony
Bartlow's Dread Machine
Basement
Battalion 1944
Battle Group VR
Beyond a Steel Sky (might keep)
Bionic Commando
Boomerang Fu
Boreal Blade
Burnout Paradise (Origin)
Burnout Paradise Ultimate Box
Capitalism 2
Catherine Classic
Colt Canyon
Command and Conquer Red Alert 3 Uprising
Command and Conquer Red Alert 3 Uprising Origin
Command and Conquer Remastered Collection (must activate by June 7th)
Control Standard Edition
Cook, Serve, Delicious 3
Crying Suns
Cyber Hook
Darksburg
Darksiders 3
Darksiders Genesis
Deadbeat Heroes
Disciples Liberation
Driftland: Magic Revival
Elex
Embr
Endless Space 2 Digital Deluxe
Epic Chef
Equilinox
Evergarden
F1 2020
Family Man
Fantasy Blacksmith
Felix the Reaper
Founders' Fortune
Fun with Ragdolls the Game
Fury Unleashed
Gabriel Knight 3
GameDec
Gas Station Simulator
Gauntlet Slayer Edition
Genesis Alpha One Deluxe Edition
Goat of Duty
Golf Gang
Golf with Your Friends
Grid Ultimate Edition
Hellblade Senua' Sacrifice (might keep)
Hellpoint
Hot Wheels Unleashed
Hotshot Racing
House Flipper VR
I am Fish
Imperator: Rome Deluxe Edition
In Other Waters
In Sound Mind
Iron Danger
Kingdom Two Crowns
Little Big Workshop
Magicat
Main Assembly
Medal of Honor (Origin)
Men of War: Assault Squad 2
Mirror's Edge Origin
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Niche
Not Tonight
Octahedron: Transfixed Edition
Oh My Godheads
Outward + The Soroboreans + Soundtrack
Overload
Oxenfree
PC Building Simulator
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Pesterquest
Phoenix Point GOTY
Pine
Popolous Origin
Popup Dungeon
Propnight
Pumpkin Jack
Rad
Raiden V Director's Cut
Railroad Corporation
Resident Evil 0 HD Remaster
Resident Evil HD Remaster
Retimed
Revita
Rock of Ages 3
Rover Mechanic Simulator
SCP: 5K
Shadows Awakening
Shenmue 3
Shining Resonance Refrain
Shoppe Keep 2
Siege Survival Gloria Victis
Sims 3 origin
Sims 3 Date Night origin
Sims 3 High End Loft Stuff origin
Sims 3 Late Night origin
Size Matters
Skully
Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts
Spellcaster University
Spongebob Battle for Bikini Bottom
Star Trek: Bridge Crew
Strange Brigade
Street Fighter V
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Super Meat Boy
Superfly
Supraland
Surgeon Simulator: Experience Reality
Tabletop Playground
The Ambassador: Fractured Timelines
The Ascent
The Blackout Club
The King's Bird
The Uncertain: Last Quiet Day
The Wild Eight
Them and Us
This is the Police 2
To the Moon
Total Tank Simulator
Townsmen: A Kingdom Rebuilt
Train Station Renovation
Trine 4
Tropico 6 El Prez Edition
TruberBrook
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
Ultra Street Fighter IV
Vampire TM: Shadows of New york
Vampire the Masquerade Coteries of New York
Vane
Vikings Wolves of Midgard
WWE 2K Battleground
Walking Dead Saints and Sinners
Wargroove
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Werewolf: Heart of the Forest
Wildfire
Xcom: Chimera Squad
Zenith: The Last City
Zero Caliber VR
Zwei: The Arges Adventure
Zwei: The Ilvard Insurrection
Fanatical, GMG, other Keys:
Aragami
Assassin's Creed Odyssey Gold (requires Uplay login)
Atari Vault
Biped
Bridge Constructor: The Walking Dead
Cat Lady Card Game
Clustertruck
Crown Trick
Deponia Doomsday
Dustforce DX
Everspace
Everspace Encounters Dlc
Everspace Upgrade to Deluxe Edition
HoPiKo
Holy Potatoes! A Spy Story?!
Horizon Chase Turbo
Kill It With Fire
Liberated
Monster Slayers
Monster Slayers Advanced Classes Unlocker
Monster Slayers Fire and Steel Expansion
Monsters Den Chronicles
Moon Hunters
Neon Abyss
Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
Quest Hunter
Shadowhand RPG Card Game
Shieldmaiden Remix
Skyhill
Slain Back from Hell
Spirit Hunter Death Mark
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Swords of Gargantua VR
Tangledeep
The Dark Eye Memoria
The Long Reach
Tokyo Xanadu eX+
Wayward Souls
XIII Classic
I'm mostly interested in trades. Let me know what you got! Thanks!

So Id like to start by saying I never want to get back with my ex but I'm not able to get rid of her from my mind. I left her because of alot of reasons that built up over the years and I finally could not take it.
Unfortunately I've noticed that whenever I'm in an anxiety driven situation or any incident happens, that night I tend to get nightmares about my ex in some form or the other. I call them nightmares instead of dreams because most of the time I'm anxious in the dream as well.
Tonight I woke up at 4am again where I had a nightmare. My ex who was blocked on every platform somehow got through and was calling me. I didn't pick up but got anxious. For some reason I called back (irl I've resisted the callback alot as I've got alot to say but I wanted to cut the connection completely) and luckily she didn't pick up. But after a minute she kept calling back again and again and when I picked up it was a video call where she was smiling and telling me nasty things and was for some reason giving me updates on how she moved on. The next minute she would switch to pleading to return and again go back to gloating how she doesn't need me.
Now I don't want to pay my own back and say I'm wonderful and so amazing that she would plead for me to come back but in reality she did alot for months when we broke up.
I even met her the day I broke up to give her closure but she zoned out alot that day and infact sexual harrased me alot. Few days later was valentine's day and I know alot of people will think it's really sad I broke up before that but I did for a reason. I couldn't fake it anymore. I was not able to smile, laugh and pretend anymore and I thought this would give her false hope for another month for me to again feel like things aren't working. A week later was her birthday and yes I was extremely guilty but again as I said, i couldn't fake it. Valentine's day and then throwing a celebration for her birthday (I did this every year and Is generally keep it special but this year I could not) seemed to just endorse a false Reality for a longer time. Things were miserable. I empathized and sympathize alot (not cause I'm better or anything but because of guilt) so i still picked her calls up after we broke up and didn't block her. But then things got nasty. In order to make herself feel better, I got really horrible messages, blame for things I never did, constant pleading and she even landed below my house multiple times and cried in the street which I had to handle in front of my entire community (my sister practices buddhism and it was a big day that for her, she had invited alot of people to our house to chant together and wanted my family and I to be there to support but due to this incident I was really rattled because my ex was down crying while everyone was in the house, my ex knew about this meeting because it was planned months in advance). As the messages got nasty I blocked her. First on WhatsApp, then on Facebook, then on Instagram (all 4 accounts of hers), then on Google meet, teams, i don't even know where all, as she kept finding me and messaging. Even on email. Her emails still come through in my spam and it's made me very anxious as I still land up checking the spam folder everyday in fear and clear it. It's become a bad habit. Randomly I'll get calls from odd numbers and it'll turn out to be her friends phone and she will talk and I cut the call. I even got video calls on Google meet from her 3rd and 4th email which I had to block.
It may sound brutal but I really tried to give closure to her on the day we broke up, I spent 5 hrs at house explaining everything and instead she zoned out that day and kept get distracted as if she doesn't care and kept sexual harrasing me. Pulling my shirt and unbuckling my pants which unfortunately as a guy I can't push her away i can only tell her several times to stop.
Now I'll be completely honest but I did not tell her every single thing as to why I broke up with her because the anxiety was so much. I was trying to break up since a while and finally did it. I'm extremely socially anxious and everything makes me very nervous when I'm unfamiliar. It's only my second relationship and first time I was serious, my first relationship only lasted 3 months and that was my therapist telling me to explore because I need to be out there. The reason I never said everything is because 1. I didn't want to hurt her ofcourse, it's nasty to hear someone you loved talk about things that can be looked at as flaws but in reality they were affecting me and it was really unhealthy for the both of us 2. I didn't know myself, I knew things are not right but it's only after the break up I've truly understood them 3. I was nervous as she kept saying she wants to suicide from the balcony and threatened me alot of I left that night 4. I genuinely am bad at confrontations, I cannot do it, the pressure makes me run away mostly or just let it be as is.
Over the course of the relationship I had become very dependent on her as socially she's the only person I met. Every weekend or weekday for 2.5 years. I suffered from depression and anxiety alot growing up and often found it hard to make friends. In college however things changed and for those years I was really open. As I did my master's in another country I became reserved again. Returning back home I lost touch with everyone and became a workaholic. For 6 years I worked say and night, had only 2 friends and stayed in my room mostly depressed. Work took me around the globe, I lived in LA for a year and then once covid hit I returned home where during the lockdown I decided " let's try to open up a bit more and meet someone, it's time ". I was very open from the get go that I'm horrible at socializing, I've got only few friends whom I hardly meet, I can be very quiet sometimes and enjoy my own company as well sometimes and I'm a terrible planner for "fun weekends". I know my flaws and I've accepted it. My ex on the other hand was very emotionally dependent on me. She would call me at a stop of a hat and panick and there were days where I've left calls in between to help her through her anxiety. She was younger than me by 3 years and was just going through the phases of career while I was going into a senior position and had seen these phases. I guided her alot on it and so family problems, work problems, random people bothering her, stress anything she would talk to me and I was ever ready to talk. No complaints as that's what partners do. However it became without any boundaries, she would often expect me to drop everything and tend to her. Days where I've got major deliveries to make, she would throw tantrums and in one instance I was supervising the biggest project of my life and she threw lots of tantrums as we worked weekends and 24 hrs round the clock. It was the biggest movie of the country at the time and the first big hit post covid. (i work in the film industry).
I mentioned my flaws earlier as those became her focus of complaint. My insecurities were her complaints about me and she even once broke up with me over "lack of friends and not being a man enough because I can't plan things for the weekend", no doubt she taught me how to have a good time, I had no idea which restaurant to book, what cuisine to pick, which area to book this weekend which is exciting, how to do more fun activities other than dinners and going to cafes etc and for the first I learnt what's a staycation cause of her. I guess she felt the burden was on her but then again anything I'd book she would cancel it anyways. I booked several restaurants that were good but she'd cancel it anyways and then ehen someone else would recommend the restaurant she'd agree to go. It's almost like I had no say in anything anyways so I put my hands up. My social anxiety 5 years was at an all time high and I couldn't even order food as I'd feel the waiter would judge me (which they often did) , I attended lots of therapy for these weird quirks of mine which to an average person seemed like no biggie but it genuinely made me nervous. I got over and thought by the time I met her I'd made good progress, I was able to pick up the phone and book things sometimes, I could order food, I was fine with video calls (I'm very conscious of how I look as I was bullied alot in school), I tried to participate in everything and I gave in all my efforts instead into understanding her and learning who she is first and putting my fears aside. However I feel she didn't do the same. For a long time i believed she understood exactly whats wrong with me and empathized and put it aside but i realised as the taunting went on and the gas lighting that she looked at them as flaws. She didn't bother to understand them or see them but instead gave me notes like a teacher and complained alot on how I'm not social. Infact on her birthday she kept messaging me she's alone so I felt guilty and called and instead she complained about all my insecurities and I had to take it quietly. She even said "I'll make sure the next person treats me like woman and is a real man" which really hurt me alot. I cried that night because of guilt and shame. Guilt because I wanted it work and it didn't and so I had to pull the plug and Shame because for first time in a long time I felt ashamed for who I am.
Today the anxiety driven situation was a social situation. I've come to the US for a family friends wedding and although I know people it's really making me nervous. Indian weddings last the entire week and this wedding has 250 people who have eyes on me constantly as I know few of them or my family knows them. Today was the first day and as usual I was lost, my sister on the other hand is extremely social and I used to depend on her. However a year ago she got drunk in a wedding again while we were out of town and told me "You're social life depends on me you loser" and then proceeded to abuse me alot for no reason while I was helping her as she puked. This wedding it makes me nervous and alone, I cling to my parents and the younger crowd stares at me alot pulling me to dance and I'm very awkward. Idk how to join in or have fun I'm very conscious and Idk any of the songs as I generally don't enjoy Hindi music (not cause of snobbishness but cause I don't get it, I'm more into exploring mellow music and Bollywood sounds all the same to me, also working in Hollywood and Bollywood I'm fed up of movies so I don't watch half of them).
I'm sorry for the long post, it's just that I'm awake and wondering why I got these nightmares, how to get rid of them, how to survive the next few days and what am I doing with my life. There were alot of pretty girls here today and all I could think of was "They are all too much fun for me, I'll bore them to death"

I was desperate one day to get the yard mowed before I got fined by the city. None of my many yard mowers would work - string was broke in one, maybe water in the gas in the other two? At the time my husband travelled all the time, this was before Covid.
I put an ad on Craigslist for someone who could mow my lawn for $35. I felt that was reasonable and really as much as I could pay. The fancy places I was looking at were so much more.
A guy said yes and came out and mowed the lawn. Since I could afford it and it lifted so much burden off me I asked if he could do it weekly. He said yes.
During the years he has gotten another person to help and has upgraded his equipment. In all these years he has never once mentioned the thought of a price increase. He has really grown his business and I’m so proud of him. He is also awesome for keeping our price so low!
Just feels good.

I move into my house a few years ago and the previous owners sheetrock the whole garage and didn't add insulation but they also added a natural gas heater.
My question is do I need to add any vents in the ceiling or 🤷‍♂️.

So Id like to start by saying I never want to get back with my ex but I'm not able to get rid of her from my mind. I left her because of alot of reasons that built up over the years and I finally could not take it.
Unfortunately I've noticed that whenever I'm in an anxiety driven situation or any incident happens, that night I tend to get nightmares about my ex in some form or the other. I call them nightmares instead of dreams because most of the time I'm anxious in the dream as well.
Tonight I woke up at 4am again where I had a nightmare. My ex who was blocked on every platform somehow got through and was calling me. I didn't pick up but got anxious. For some reason I called back (irl I've resisted the callback alot as I've got alot to say but I wanted to cut the connection completely) and luckily she didn't pick up. But after a minute she kept calling back again and again and when I picked up it was a video call where she was smiling and telling me nasty things and was for some reason giving me updates on how she moved on. The next minute she would switch to pleading to return and again go back to gloating how she doesn't need me.
Now I don't want to pay my own back and say I'm wonderful and so amazing that she would plead for me to come back but in reality she did alot for months when we broke up.
I even met her the day I broke up to give her closure but she zoned out alot that day and infact sexual harrased me alot. Few days later was valentine's day and I know alot of people will think it's really sad I broke up before that but I did for a reason. I couldn't fake it anymore. I was not able to smile, laugh and pretend anymore and I thought this would give her false hope for another month for me to again feel like things aren't working. A week later was her birthday and yes I was extremely guilty but again as I said, i couldn't fake it. Valentine's day and then throwing a celebration for her birthday (I did this every year and Is generally keep it special but this year I could not) seemed to just endorse a false Reality for a longer time. Things were miserable. I empathized and sympathize alot (not cause I'm better or anything but because of guilt) so i still picked her calls up after we broke up and didn't block her. But then things got nasty. In order to make herself feel better, I got really horrible messages, blame for things I never did, constant pleading and she even landed below my house multiple times and cried in the street which I had to handle in front of my entire community (my sister practices buddhism and it was a big day that for her, she had invited alot of people to our house to chant together and wanted my family and I to be there to support but due to this incident I was really rattled because my ex was down crying while everyone was in the house, my ex knew about this meeting because it was planned months in advance). As the messages got nasty I blocked her. First on WhatsApp, then on Facebook, then on Instagram (all 4 accounts of hers), then on Google meet, teams, i don't even know where all, as she kept finding me and messaging. Even on email. Her emails still come through in my spam and it's made me very anxious as I still land up checking the spam folder everyday in fear and clear it. It's become a bad habit. Randomly I'll get calls from odd numbers and it'll turn out to be her friends phone and she will talk and I cut the call. I even got video calls on Google meet from her 3rd and 4th email which I had to block.
It may sound brutal but I really tried to give closure to her on the day we broke up, I spent 5 hrs at house explaining everything and instead she zoned out that day and kept get distracted as if she doesn't care and kept sexual harrasing me. Pulling my shirt and unbuckling my pants which unfortunately as a guy I can't push her away i can only tell her several times to stop.
Now I'll be completely honest but I did not tell her every single thing as to why I broke up with her because the anxiety was so much. I was trying to break up since a while and finally did it. I'm extremely socially anxious and everything makes me very nervous when I'm unfamiliar. It's only my second relationship and first time I was serious, my first relationship only lasted 3 months and that was my therapist telling me to explore because I need to be out there. The reason I never said everything is because 1. I didn't want to hurt her ofcourse, it's nasty to hear someone you loved talk about things that can be looked at as flaws but in reality they were affecting me and it was really unhealthy for the both of us 2. I didn't know myself, I knew things are not right but it's only after the break up I've truly understood them 3. I was nervous as she kept saying she wants to suicide from the balcony and threatened me alot of I left that night 4. I genuinely am bad at confrontations, I cannot do it, the pressure makes me run away mostly or just let it be as is.
Over the course of the relationship I had become very dependent on her as socially she's the only person I met. Every weekend or weekday for 2.5 years. I suffered from depression and anxiety alot growing up and often found it hard to make friends. In college however things changed and for those years I was really open. As I did my master's in another country I became reserved again. Returning back home I lost touch with everyone and became a workaholic. For 6 years I worked say and night, had only 2 friends and stayed in my room mostly depressed. Work took me around the globe, I lived in LA for a year and then once covid hit I returned home where during the lockdown I decided " let's try to open up a bit more and meet someone, it's time ". I was very open from the get go that I'm horrible at socializing, I've got only few friends whom I hardly meet, I can be very quiet sometimes and enjoy my own company as well sometimes and I'm a terrible planner for "fun weekends". I know my flaws and I've accepted it. My ex on the other hand was very emotionally dependent on me. She would call me at a stop of a hat and panick and there were days where I've left calls in between to help her through her anxiety. She was younger than me by 3 years and was just going through the phases of career while I was going into a senior position and had seen these phases. I guided her alot on it and so family problems, work problems, random people bothering her, stress anything she would talk to me and I was ever ready to talk. No complaints as that's what partners do. However it became without any boundaries, she would often expect me to drop everything and tend to her. Days where I've got major deliveries to make, she would throw tantrums and in one instance I was supervising the biggest project of my life and she threw lots of tantrums as we worked weekends and 24 hrs round the clock. It was the biggest movie of the country at the time and the first big hit post covid. (i work in the film industry).
I mentioned my flaws earlier as those became her focus of complaint. My insecurities were her complaints about me and she even once broke up with me over "lack of friends and not being a man enough because I can't plan things for the weekend", no doubt she taught me how to have a good time, I had no idea which restaurant to book, what cuisine to pick, which area to book this weekend which is exciting, how to do more fun activities other than dinners and going to cafes etc and for the first I learnt what's a staycation cause of her. I guess she felt the burden was on her but then again anything I'd book she would cancel it anyways. I booked several restaurants that were good but she'd cancel it anyways and then ehen someone else would recommend the restaurant she'd agree to go. It's almost like I had no say in anything anyways so I put my hands up. My social anxiety 5 years was at an all time high and I couldn't even order food as I'd feel the waiter would judge me (which they often did) , I attended lots of therapy for these weird quirks of mine which to an average person seemed like no biggie but it genuinely made me nervous. I got over and thought by the time I met her I'd made good progress, I was able to pick up the phone and book things sometimes, I could order food, I was fine with video calls (I'm very conscious of how I look as I was bullied alot in school), I tried to participate in everything and I gave in all my efforts instead into understanding her and learning who she is first and putting my fears aside. However I feel she didn't do the same. For a long time i believed she understood exactly whats wrong with me and empathized and put it aside but i realised as the taunting went on and the gas lighting that she looked at them as flaws. She didn't bother to understand them or see them but instead gave me notes like a teacher and complained alot on how I'm not social. Infact on her birthday she kept messaging me she's alone so I felt guilty and called and instead she complained about all my insecurities and I had to take it quietly. She even said "I'll make sure the next person treats me like woman and is a real man" which really hurt me alot. I cried that night because of guilt and shame. Guilt because I wanted it work and it didn't and so I had to pull the plug and Shame because for first time in a long time I felt ashamed for who I am.
Today the anxiety driven situation was a social situation. I've come to the US for a family friends wedding and although I know people it's really making me nervous. Indian weddings last the entire week and this wedding has 250 people who have eyes on me constantly as I know few of them or my family knows them. Today was the first day and as usual I was lost, my sister on the other hand is extremely social and I used to depend on her. However a year ago she got drunk in a wedding again while we were out of town and told me "You're social life depends on me you loser" and then proceeded to abuse me alot for no reason while I was helping her as she puked. This wedding it makes me nervous and alone, I cling to my parents and the younger crowd stares at me alot pulling me to dance and I'm very awkward. Idk how to join in or have fun I'm very conscious and Idk any of the songs as I generally don't enjoy Hindi music (not cause of snobbishness but cause I don't get it, I'm more into exploring mellow music and Bollywood sounds all the same to me, also working in Hollywood and Bollywood I'm fed up of movies so I don't watch half of them).
I'm sorry for the long post, it's just that I'm awake and wondering why I got these nightmares, how to get rid of them, how to survive the next few days and what am I doing with my life. There were alot of pretty girls here today and all I could think of was "They are all too much fun for me, I'll bore them to death"

So Id like to start by saying I never want to get back with my ex but I'm not able to get rid of her from my mind. I left her because of alot of reasons that built up over the years and I finally could not take it.
Unfortunately I've noticed that whenever I'm in an anxiety driven situation or any incident happens, that night I tend to get nightmares about my ex in some form or the other. I call them nightmares instead of dreams because most of the time I'm anxious in the dream as well.
Tonight I woke up at 4am again where I had a nightmare. My ex who was blocked on every platform somehow got through and was calling me. I didn't pick up but got anxious. For some reason I called back (irl I've resisted the callback alot as I've got alot to say but I wanted to cut the connection completely) and luckily she didn't pick up. But after a minute she kept calling back again and again and when I picked up it was a video call where she was smiling and telling me nasty things and was for some reason giving me updates on how she moved on. The next minute she would switch to pleading to return and again go back to gloating how she doesn't need me.
Now I don't want to pay my own back and say I'm wonderful and so amazing that she would plead for me to come back but in reality she did alot for months when we broke up.
I even met her the day I broke up to give her closure but she zoned out alot that day and infact sexual harrased me alot. Few days later was valentine's day and I know alot of people will think it's really sad I broke up before that but I did for a reason. I couldn't fake it anymore. I was not able to smile, laugh and pretend anymore and I thought this would give her false hope for another month for me to again feel like things aren't working. A week later was her birthday and yes I was extremely guilty but again as I said, i couldn't fake it. Valentine's day and then throwing a celebration for her birthday (I did this every year and Is generally keep it special but this year I could not) seemed to just endorse a false Reality for a longer time. Things were miserable. I empathized and sympathize alot (not cause I'm better or anything but because of guilt) so i still picked her calls up after we broke up and didn't block her. But then things got nasty. In order to make herself feel better, I got really horrible messages, blame for things I never did, constant pleading and she even landed below my house multiple times and cried in the street which I had to handle in front of my entire community (my sister practices buddhism and it was a big day that for her, she had invited alot of people to our house to chant together and wanted my family and I to be there to support but due to this incident I was really rattled because my ex was down crying while everyone was in the house, my ex knew about this meeting because it was planned months in advance). As the messages got nasty I blocked her. First on WhatsApp, then on Facebook, then on Instagram (all 4 accounts of hers), then on Google meet, teams, i don't even know where all, as she kept finding me and messaging. Even on email. Her emails still come through in my spam and it's made me very anxious as I still land up checking the spam folder everyday in fear and clear it. It's become a bad habit. Randomly I'll get calls from odd numbers and it'll turn out to be her friends phone and she will talk and I cut the call. I even got video calls on Google meet from her 3rd and 4th email which I had to block.
It may sound brutal but I really tried to give closure to her on the day we broke up, I spent 5 hrs at house explaining everything and instead she zoned out that day and kept get distracted as if she doesn't care and kept sexual harrasing me. Pulling my shirt and unbuckling my pants which unfortunately as a guy I can't push her away i can only tell her several times to stop.
Now I'll be completely honest but I did not tell her every single thing as to why I broke up with her because the anxiety was so much. I was trying to break up since a while and finally did it. I'm extremely socially anxious and everything makes me very nervous when I'm unfamiliar. It's only my second relationship and first time I was serious, my first relationship only lasted 3 months and that was my therapist telling me to explore because I need to be out there. The reason I never said everything is because 1. I didn't want to hurt her ofcourse, it's nasty to hear someone you loved talk about things that can be looked at as flaws but in reality they were affecting me and it was really unhealthy for the both of us 2. I didn't know myself, I knew things are not right but it's only after the break up I've truly understood them 3. I was nervous as she kept saying she wants to suicide from the balcony and threatened me alot of I left that night 4. I genuinely am bad at confrontations, I cannot do it, the pressure makes me run away mostly or just let it be as is.
Over the course of the relationship I had become very dependent on her as socially she's the only person I met. Every weekend or weekday for 2.5 years. I suffered from depression and anxiety alot growing up and often found it hard to make friends. In college however things changed and for those years I was really open. As I did my master's in another country I became reserved again. Returning back home I lost touch with everyone and became a workaholic. For 6 years I worked say and night, had only 2 friends and stayed in my room mostly depressed. Work took me around the globe, I lived in LA for a year and then once covid hit I returned home where during the lockdown I decided " let's try to open up a bit more and meet someone, it's time ". I was very open from the get go that I'm horrible at socializing, I've got only few friends whom I hardly meet, I can be very quiet sometimes and enjoy my own company as well sometimes and I'm a terrible planner for "fun weekends". I know my flaws and I've accepted it. My ex on the other hand was very emotionally dependent on me. She would call me at a stop of a hat and panick and there were days where I've left calls in between to help her through her anxiety. She was younger than me by 3 years and was just going through the phases of career while I was going into a senior position and had seen these phases. I guided her alot on it and so family problems, work problems, random people bothering her, stress anything she would talk to me and I was ever ready to talk. No complaints as that's what partners do. However it became without any boundaries, she would often expect me to drop everything and tend to her. Days where I've got major deliveries to make, she would throw tantrums and in one instance I was supervising the biggest project of my life and she threw lots of tantrums as we worked weekends and 24 hrs round the clock. It was the biggest movie of the country at the time and the first big hit post covid. (i work in the film industry).
I mentioned my flaws earlier as those became her focus of complaint. My insecurities were her complaints about me and she even once broke up with me over "lack of friends and not being a man enough because I can't plan things for the weekend", no doubt she taught me how to have a good time, I had no idea which restaurant to book, what cuisine to pick, which area to book this weekend which is exciting, how to do more fun activities other than dinners and going to cafes etc and for the first I learnt what's a staycation cause of her. I guess she felt the burden was on her but then again anything I'd book she would cancel it anyways. I booked several restaurants that were good but she'd cancel it anyways and then ehen someone else would recommend the restaurant she'd agree to go. It's almost like I had no say in anything anyways so I put my hands up. My social anxiety 5 years was at an all time high and I couldn't even order food as I'd feel the waiter would judge me (which they often did) , I attended lots of therapy for these weird quirks of mine which to an average person seemed like no biggie but it genuinely made me nervous. I got over and thought by the time I met her I'd made good progress, I was able to pick up the phone and book things sometimes, I could order food, I was fine with video calls (I'm very conscious of how I look as I was bullied alot in school), I tried to participate in everything and I gave in all my efforts instead into understanding her and learning who she is first and putting my fears aside. However I feel she didn't do the same. For a long time i believed she understood exactly whats wrong with me and empathized and put it aside but i realised as the taunting went on and the gas lighting that she looked at them as flaws. She didn't bother to understand them or see them but instead gave me notes like a teacher and complained alot on how I'm not social. Infact on her birthday she kept messaging me she's alone so I felt guilty and called and instead she complained about all my insecurities and I had to take it quietly. She even said "I'll make sure the next person treats me like woman and is a real man" which really hurt me alot. I cried that night because of guilt and shame. Guilt because I wanted it work and it didn't and so I had to pull the plug and Shame because for first time in a long time I felt ashamed for who I am.
Today the anxiety driven situation was a social situation. I've come to the US for a family friends wedding and although I know people it's really making me nervous. Indian weddings last the entire week and this wedding has 250 people who have eyes on me constantly as I know few of them or my family knows them. Today was the first day and as usual I was lost, my sister on the other hand is extremely social and I used to depend on her. However a year ago she got drunk in a wedding again while we were out of town and told me "You're social life depends on me you loser" and then proceeded to abuse me alot for no reason while I was helping her as she puked. This wedding it makes me nervous and alone, I cling to my parents and the younger crowd stares at me alot pulling me to dance and I'm very awkward. Idk how to join in or have fun I'm very conscious and Idk any of the songs as I generally don't enjoy Hindi music (not cause of snobbishness but cause I don't get it, I'm more into exploring mellow music and Bollywood sounds all the same to me, also working in Hollywood and Bollywood I'm fed up of movies so I don't watch half of them).
I'm sorry for the long post, it's just that I'm awake and wondering why I got these nightmares, how to get rid of them, how to survive the next few days and what am I doing with my life. There were alot of pretty girls here today and all I could think of was "They are all too much fun for me, I'll bore them to death"

My 20 year old Trane is breaking down and I’m trying to figure out if the variable speed is worth the cost and also if Trane is worth the cost. For reference I live in Virginia and have a 2200 SF split level home. Our Electric bills are very manageable as is and we plan on being in the house for 10+ years. I’ve had a few estimates and below pricing is combined with comparable gas furnaces.
Trane XR16 single stage: $12,000
Carrier Performance 16 single stage: $10,000
Trane XV18 True Comfort variable speed: $16,650
Carrier Infinity 19VS variable speed: $13,830
Any advice or thoughts are appreciated.