"Oh, Spy Fox? You're going to be busy on this rescue mission. Should I call the Spy Academy and tell them to cancel the weapons class you're going to teach?" "What? You're going to tell them that Spy Fox doesn't have class? They'll never believe you."
A spy working for Spy Corp, Spy Fox is one of several agents sent into the field to foil the schemes of supervillains, be they seeking to rid a certain food from the market, bring governments to their knees with an enormous robot dog, destroy the ozone layer so they can profit on incredibly strong sunscreen, or just thieves stealing cheese from a museum. Alongside the administrative help of Monkeypenny and the various gadgets of Professor Quack, Spy Fox inevitably saves the day while barely ever opening his eyes more than halfway or removing his hands from the pockets of his white suit.

Legend

1 - Spy Fox in: Dry Cereal
2 - Spy Fox 2: Some Assembly Required
3 - Spy Fox 3: Operation Ozone
CC - Spy Fox in: Cheese Chase
HtM - Spy Fox in: Hold the Mustard
Web - Spy Fox promotional content from the Humongous Entertainment website accessed through the Wayback Machine, accessible here

Strength

Striking

• Claims he normally karate chops doors open, but can't do it to one made of steel¹
• Knocks away a rhino and an elephant by spinning with skis as he passed them²
• Crumples the roof of a car by jumping onto it^CC

Lifting

• Lifts a large rooster over his head and swings him about¹
• Holds up a 'Really Big Award' at arms length³
• Holds an anvil, a safe, and an anchor at arm's length while falling¹
  • Also does this with a taxi cab and a small tank¹

Other

• Catches himself from falling with one hand before throwing himself into the air with that hand²
• Catches himself from falling by biting onto a platform³
• Ski jumps a great distance onto a passing plane²
• Unaffected by a net as he skis through it²

Durability

Blunt Force

• Is seemingly beaten up off-screen and thrown away¹
• Rides a rocket skateboard through a door³
• Launched through a ceiling, causing a large amount of clatter through other obstacles off-screen after²
• Repeatedly slammed against a table while having a massage²
• Bounces off of his head without reacting²
• Kicked high into the air by a robot and falls back to the ground¹
• Hit by a giant sticky object and is trapped to it while it bounces / rolls along with enough force to shatter stone pillars, before falling down the stone steps outside the temple³
• Repeatedly slammed by an enormous powder puff³

Falling

• Skis down a sheer surface, on a short roof, and along the ground without any reaction²
• Drops from a gyrocopter onto his scooter held within a dumpster^CC
• Jumps from cable car to the ground below, rolling down a hill as a snowball, before hitting the doorway of a cabin and emerging unharmed²
• Slides down a ladder from the mouth of a mech dog before jumping off at the end, landing unharmed²
• Falls down a great distance onto a caravan, crumpling it, and is unharmed^CC

Other

• Unaffected by his ice skates exploding while being worn²
• Gets whipped, folded into a paper airplane, and bundled into a ball while being given a massage²
• Blown back by sound without harm³

Speed

• Whisks his foot away before a snapping turtle can bite it¹
• Dodges a boxing glove defense system when the direction it would punch in wasn't clear until it fired²
• Dashes short distances quickly³
• In an instant runs from the Caped Cod, picks up a child fan, and runs back²
  • This is the distance he covered²
• Runs in the air to get back to land before falling in water¹

Skill

• Briefly juggles²
• Bowls a strike³
• Has the agility to flip about¹
• Balances on a tiny flying device²
• Flips a switch on the ground into his pocket²
• Somehow steals the remote for King Konglomerate's rocket while going straight from his ship to a lift into the rocket's room^HtM
• Using an instructional book, defeats a Cock-A-Doodle-Fu master with a counter move, then ties him up while holding him above his head¹
• Won the Spy Corp Freestyle Ski Jump Competition²
• Can dance the foxtrot, waltz, and tango²

Suit

• His suit has deep pockets, described as being able to hold 'a nearly unlimited number of items' in Operation Ozone³
  • Holds a small trash bag inside of it²
  • Pockets a jumpsuit¹
  • Pockets a frog suit, shown here in its full size worn by Spy Fox¹
  • Pockets a large venus fly trap and its pot, with some effort²
• One of his suits has a parachute in it¹

Spy Watch

• Allows him to contact and be contacted by Monkeypenny back at their mobile base¹
• Connects to a bug he placed in a cat's handbag as she speeds away in a sports car¹
• Records and sends a villain's monologue about his plan²
• Gets sent and stores coordinates¹
• Prints a three fruit code transmitted to it²
• Can play games²
• Also functions as a watch³

Spy Gadgets

Spy Fox can carry up to four of these at a time.
Combat-Focused

• The Spy Trap, a coin which traps explodes into a net to trap three or more enemies on the ceiling¹
  • Used here¹
• Sticky Stun Bun, which explodes to stun everyone within ten feet, "Leaving them dazed ad confused for weeks" according to the inventor³
  • Used here, sending the minions around it flying back into the air and trapping them against a wall with caramel³
• Bagpipes which spray a large amount of smoke. This smoke appears to have an adverse affect on people inhaling it, possibly stunning them, as Spy Fox dons a gas mask before walking through³

Wearables

• Duck Blind, a hat which renders the wearer invisible to ducks³
  • Used here, but it's destroyed after a period of use³
• Night Vision Shoe, a shoe that acts like night vision goggles¹
  • Used here¹
• Hush-Hush Moccasians, shoes which allow him to walk extremely quietly so even a room full of goons with 'oversized ears' don't notice him^Web
• Dehydrated Skis, a pair of skis inside a tiny pill which grow when put in water²
  • Used here²
• Spy Skates, a pair of ice skates which allow the user to perform any ice skating routine when their instructions are placed within the skates²
  • Used here, blowing up after use²
• Gopher Guise equipped with Extra-Strength Earth Moving Claws, letting him quickly dig through overhanging roots and caved in tunnels underground^Web
  • Is biodegradable^Web
• Suction Cufflinks, tiny suction cups for climbing across non-porous metal surfaces¹
  • Used here, increasing in size and letting Spy Fox climb across a sheer metal wall¹

Mechanical

• Alarm Deactivator, an elaborately described piece of equipment for ensuring alarms don't go off which is actually just two alligator clips connected by a wire²
  • Used here²
• Cheese and Safe Cracker Kit, which uses very scientific processes to determine the combination of a safe¹
  • Shown here¹
• Fingerprint Replicator Utensil Kit, a fork which copies the fingerprints of whoever wields it and sends them to the paired spoon²
  • Used here, working through a glove²
  • The spoon can be used on handprint identifying device²
• Spy Key Replicator Kit, a camera which takes a photo of a key, the photo being put into an oven to shrink and take the form of that key. If the wrong key is made, it can be inserted back into the camera and turned back into film, as it can only store one shot at a time²
  • Used here taking a photo, being baked, and the resultant key being used to open a door²
• Stealth Vac, a silent vacuum²
  • Used here, sucking liquid from a machine into it without alerting the supervillain right next to it²
  • Later blows the liquid into an identical machine equally quietly²
• Spy Toaster, which launches whatever spy is within it 20 feet into the air³
  • Used here³
• The Insta-Jack, a tiny red pill which turns into a hydraulic lift when thrown to the ground^Web
• The Artful Articulator device, which would allow him to understand a person muffled due to being trapped with cotton candy and maple syrup^Web
• Rocket Powered Origami Skateboard, which originally takes the form of a single piece of paper but with three simple steps folds into a skateboard propelled by a rocket with enough force to break a Spy Fox hole in a door³
  • Works over water, sending Spy Fox a great distance into the sky while going up a ramp, and has the wheels fall away to let him gently slide down a hill of sheep³
  • Crumples to nothing after a while³
• Spy Pearl Detector, which scans over a bed of oysters, the light on top flashing faster the closer it is to a pearl³
  • Used here, giving a camera view inside the oysters³
• Spy Bowling Ball, rolled towards a bowling pin to capture it and whatever's attached to it, bringing it back to Spy Fox³
  • Used here on a duck tied up to look like a bowling pin³

Destruction

• Laser Toothbrush and Minty Fresh Laser Gel, used together to cut through thick steel¹
  • Shown here, blowing up after use¹
• Termite Grenade, a grenade with termites for destroying a wooden object²
  • Used here, turning a wooden statue of a man to a large pile of dust in an instant²
• Rust Buster, a one-use spray can which makes whatever metal object it covers become rusted and brittle to the point of falling apart³
  • Used here, rusting four large saw blades and allowing Spy Fox to blow them away immediately after. Using it destroys the can³
• A drilling device made of extra-strength paper-mâché and coated with a hi-tech polymer, used to drill through multiple feet of ice^Web

Other

• Grappling Granny, a grappling hook which latches onto wood with a pair of false teeth³
  • Used here³
• Swiss Spy Knife, containing a fork, a toothpick, and a pair of chromium-alloy high tensile strength wire cutters that can cut through sheer metal³
  • The wire cutters easily snip through a steel net which the Swiss Spy Knife's fork snapped on³
• Spy Putty, used to create a perfect copy of whatever it's pressed against¹
  • Used to copy an invitation and get past a doorman after being inspected, when the original invitation had a golden edge, a wax seal, and was expensively embossed and hand written¹
• Beef Flavour X-Ray Gum which is held up against 'something beefy' to show inside it¹
  • Shown here¹
• Spy Heat, heat in a can²
  • Used here, making a giant thermometer read over 150 degrees Fahrenheit, but the can is destroyed after use²
• Canned Laughter, a grenade which fills the area its thrown into with laughter³
  • Used here³
• Handcuffs disguised as a large, frosty beverage^CC
• Hair growing cream^Web
• Extra-Glittery Ball o' Foil Stuffed with Catnip, an extra-glittery ball of foil stuffed with catnip used to distract a cat supervillain while syllables away from world domination^Web
• Spy Mint, a minty fresh mint which glows in the dark to light areas up, also working underwater³
  • Used here³
• Spy Ear, a glass which allows the user to listen through solid glass³
  • Used here³
• His organization used a device to create a smoke screen or mirage of a fake factory in front of every limburger cheese factory in the world, though it's unclear whether Spy Fox himself helped use it^Web

Pens

A variety of items potentially held within pens in the opening of Dry Cereal. He holds four in his suit pocket.

• Balloon filled with something that isn't helium¹
• A whoopie cushion which is thrown to the ground beneath him, allowing him to land without any injury¹
• A pogo stick, nullifying any harm from falling by landing on it, though it rockets back into the air once Spy Fox steps off¹
• A cake¹
• Fishing rod used to slow his descent by latching onto a nearby helicopter¹
• An anvil¹
• An anchor¹
• A safe¹
• A taxi cab¹
• A small tank¹

Other Items

• Owns Goldi-lock pickers, which he claims would let him easily open a locked metal door he'd find impossible to unlock without²
• A digital make up compact intercepted by Spy Corp, which displays the required response to a stated codephrase when the appropriate section is pushed down³
• A jackhammer, a crowbar, and a blowtorch³
• A rabbit and his Spy Corp I.D.³
• An oven glove²
• A Gyrocopter, flown by him and Professor Quack with a spotlight^CC

Spy Car

A car with a variety of functions driven in Dry Cereal and Operation Ozone.
Physicals

• Bounces off from a fall¹
• Drops from Spy Corp's mobile base after being repaired³
  • The distance it fell³
• Can drive between continents in a short span of time. Exactly how it does this is unclear, but it's seen dropping from the sky and driving directly vertically³
  • How long this takes also isn't known, but multiple trips to all continents is required and the game takes place over the course of several hours³

Forms

• Becomes a jet to fly off¹
  • Takes a similar form to boost himself up and across a gap¹
• Becomes a helicopter¹
• Becomes a boring machine with a drill appearing from the front, creating a tunnel through rocks blocking off a road¹
• Turns into a submarine, complete with periscope, before jumping out of the water¹
  • A similar form which just withdraws the wheels and creates propellers from the back³

Other Equipment

• A long arm to pick up and drop off Spy Fox¹
  • Rescues a falling Spy Fox using this³
• Inflates padding beneath it after falling off a cliff¹
• A parachute¹
• A radar which follows a trail left by another spy¹

Super Duper Spy Scooter

A multi-environment scooter which is initially stored within a dumpster before being used throughout Cheese Chase.^CC
Physicals

• Breaks wooden barriers by riding through them^CC
• Shatters fences by driving into them^CC
• Rides through barrels, shattering them^CC
• Badly dents metal pipes by hitting them^CC
• Knocks other vehicles about^CC
• Travels over whirlpools, just making the scooter spin a bit^CC
• Covers a notable distance after riding up a ramp^CC
• Quickly drives down a building and speeds from it into the foreground^CC

Forms

• Shifts from a land scooter to a speedbike^CC
• Turns from a jet ski to a snowmobile^CC
• Goes from being a snowmobile to a jet flying through the air^CC
• Transforms between its flying and scooter forms^CC

Weapons

• Can pick up from crates and fire forwards plungers, pies, and two bananas simultaneously. All of these are capable of the same strength feats^CC
• Topples over quad bikes^CC
• Sinks a small enemy ship^CC
• Buries twin tread snowmobiles^CC
• Takes down larger snowmobiles with a front ski and two large back treads, burying them in the snow^CC
• Shoots similar jets out of the sky^CC

M.E.S.S.

The Multiple Environment Spy Ship, a mobile ship Spy Fox uses to fly around in Hold the Mustard.
Blaster
The main weapon, capable of destroying large robots with a single blast.^HtM With a significant amount of blasts, it can destroy:

• A large metal transmitter^HtM
• A significant amount of stone^HtM
• The front of an airship^HtM
• The enormous metal jaw of a ship^HtM

Power Ups

• Homing missiles^HtM
• A shorter range blast which releases a burst of red energy around it, destroying all nearby robots^HtM
• Makes the ship invincible for a period, capable of running through robots without injury but still risking damage and destruction from walls^HtM
• One token fully heals the M.E.S.S.^HtM
• Extra lives^HtM

Other

• Highly maneuverable^HtM
• Bashes off of walls, but takes damage^HtM
• Can travel underwater, using air instead of fuel, which replenishes on breaching the surface^HtM
• Through booster rockets, can travel to and fly about in space^HtM
• Refuels by flying through floating gates^HtM
• On the ship's destruction, ejects Spy Fox in a floating capsule^HtM
• Had an upgrade, the Super M.E.S.S., which repeatedly bashes against a force field with seemingly no injury, has enough space for multiple agents, and is equipped with a can opener to cut open a space base³

Other

• Translates hieroglyphics from an ancient language, though what they translate to is rather self-evident¹
• Doesn't shift gears in his cars while in pursuit of bad guys because he can't be bothered with that sort of thing³
• Quickly changes outfits¹
  • Literally throws on and tears off a diving suit³
• Disguises himself as a tumbleweed, using it as cover to getting into the middle of an area without being seen and letting it blow off without him after³
• Is a terrible secret agent³
  • I mean seriously, he just tells everyone what he is³
  • This isn't even a spy thing in this universe, a Canadian spy tells him to cut out using her name too often²
  • He even was presented the highest award the President of the United States could give to him in a highly publicized and reported event, isn't that the exact opposite of what he should want¹
  • Even some slight competency stops him from foiling the villain's plans due to how he announces himself first how is this guy still hired³

"So Spy Fox, what's your next step?" "That's an excellent question. I'm already pretty good at the foxtrot, the waltz, and the tango, but I've always wanted to learn how to swing." "Hmm...how fortunate to the world that your crime fighting is better than your sense of humour."

My neighbor, let call her Karen, is an absolute nightmare. I’ve lived in my neighborhood for 12 years, she’s been here for 3. I purchased a sizable piece of land in the neighborhood for my organic farm (not public) and shortly after, she emailed my business to put in her two cents about what I should and shouldn’t do to my property. I began by asking her how she got my personal information, and she said it was public record after I purchased the property. I let her know that I thought it was a little strange and I was uncomfortable that she essentially hunted me down until she found my work email to bother me about this. But then I politely let her know my plans for Regenerative and organic farming and she didn’t like it. She wanted it to stay completely as it was minus a mindful home build. I told her I heard her concerns but that isn’t what will happen. After this, she found me on Facebook, in a Facebook group, and on Nextdoor, continuing communication. I tried to ignore her, however, she showed up at my door one day and began asking me about my current property, the orchard I was planting, and whether or not all of the plants were native. Clearly, they were not, we live in an area where not many fruit trees are native. then she wanted to know my watering system and commented that they had better be on a drip line. I walked past her and towards the end of my driveway so that she would follow me and talk and then I turned, told her to have a nice day, walked back to my house and went inside. About 10 minutes later I got a text from her, I asked who it was she let me know, and at this point, I was not aware how she would’ve gotten my phone number. I blocked her number and tried to continue to ignore it, but she emailed me again. At this point, I was firm and said that I had heard her opinion several times over several months and let her know plans, which I was not obligated to do. She wanted me to hold a meeting with her and one other neighbor that was “upset” about what I was trying to do, and I refused to do so, as I am not obligated with the zoning that I have on my land. I knew that it would be more of the same, and I was not interested in putting myself in a position of her trying to bully me into doing what she wants. So in the email I informed her that she needed to stop with the harassment and that what I do with my land was my business. I had heard her concerns, and to rest, assured that I would be mindful when developing my land. She did not take kindly to that and responded that she understood, but that if I was nicer to my neighbors, I would have less trouble. The very next day I received a phone call from the environmental control zoning department in my city stating that there has been complaints that I had too many farm animals on my smaller property. She had taken the time to look up my home address zoning, then go on my farm website and count the number of dairy goats that I have and determined that it was too many for my zoning and filed a complaint. Over the last several months, this has turned into her calling, almost on a weekly basis to complain about anything from a sign on my fence, to my Christmas lights, to information on my website about future development that she considers advertising. She went door-to-door to try and get other neighbors on her side, most of which came and let me know what she was doing, and most of which told her that they don’t care what I do with the property it’s my business. Most of my other neighbors are excited at the prospect of having organic food grown in their neighborhood available to them, especially with rising food costs and concerns. The zoning officer that has come out on multiple occasions, and that I am working with informed me that the neighbor was “out for blood” and demanding that I be given a citation, even though the zoning department refuses to do so because I am fully cooperative. It’s just never ending at this point, she’s forced development to speed up exponentially, which is causing financial strain and emotional strain on me, and she’s wasting a lot of time and resources from the city, which is very frustrating. I intended to develop my property slowly over two years so that I could make sure everything was properly in place, from rainwater harvesting to native plant preservation and beyond. I am only one person and I’m developing over 10 acres and this is a huge job to try and squeeze into such a short amount of time at this point because of her actions. I’ve considered trying to get a harassment injunction or something like that, I don’t really know if there’s anything I can legally do, but I’m at my wits end with this woman. She has nothing better to do and it’s very frustrating.

Special thanks to u/That_guy_why for letting me remake this thread

Roger Smith and The Big O

"Big O! Showtime!"

Opening
Roger Smith is a Negotiator in Paradigm City, a city whose residents lost all memories 40 years ago. He will negotiate nearly anything, from kidnappings to pet ownership, for nearly anyone, provided both sides of the negotiation play fair. However, he refuses to work with the Paradigm Corporation unless absolutely necessary. Roger is also the pilot of the Big O, one of the giant robots known as Megadeuses. Whenever the city is threatened by another Megadeus or a giant monster, Roger calls in Big O to save the day.
Hover over the feat for the episode number.

Roger Smith

"My name is Roger Smith. My other name is Negotiator, a much-needed job here in Paradigm City, a city that has lost its memory"

The Watch

• Used to call Big O to his location
• Alerts Roger that he has been locked onto with a missile launcher
• Has a grappling line
  • Grabs the top of a building after jumping out of a window
  • Grabs the railing of a walkway and pulls himself and Angel up
  • Grabs the fender of his car while its on top of a factory roof
  • Swings from a gargoyle
  • Ascends a building, grabbing Norman along the way
  • Takes down Vera from a distance
• Has a radar that shows Big O's position
• Communicates with Norman
• A laser that cuts through a metal cuff

The Griffon

• Armors itself to prevent theft
• Roger uses the watch to have the car fire missiles
  • Blows a hole in the roof of a factory and drops two missiles into it
• Has a radio and video screen inside
• Has machine guns on the front that tear through wooden signs
• Can self-drive
• Picks up police radio and changes its color
• Drives through a brick wall
• Bulletproof with the armor activated and drops mines to blow up robots
• The guns, missiles, and mines destroy robots and a road barricade
• Warns Roger of danger

Physicals

Strength

• Pulls Dorothy free from wiring and carries her
  • Dorothy is stated to weigh 130 kg and a man can't move her
• Throws a chair through the window of a submerged building
• Snaps the device controlling Dorothy in half
• Breaks out of metal cuffs

Durability

• [Limit] Gets knocked out by a taser
• [Limit] Gets knocked out by a blow to the head with a rifle
• Jumps out of a window unharmed
• Falls off a ladder
• Runs through fire
• Shrugs off getting knocked back by an explosion at his feet
• Gets smashed through the top of a stone column
• Gets crushed by Dorothy for a time
  • Dorothy can lift and throw a bicycle and two men with one hand and knocks a locked prison door out of its frame

Speed/Agility

• Catches up to a small submarine on foot
• Dodges bullets
• Jumps a fair distance through a window and lands in his car as its driving
• Dodges a crane
• Dodges swipes from an android
• Blocks a surprise stab from behind with a book

Skill/Misc

Resources

• Has an informant
• His butler Norman maintains and repairs his car and Big O
  • Norman carries a big gun

Skill/Intelligence

• Can tell that the Griffon's break efficiency has dropped by 1/8th
• Uses Dorothy as a decoy to draw enemy fire
• Repositions Big O so that the Megadeus trying to reel him in is pushed back
• Gets out of the ropes he's tied up in
• Though he doesn't carry a gun and refuses to shoot people, he's a fairly accurate marksman
• Explains how to negotiate kidnappings
• Blinds Big Duo with the Chrome Buster, allowing him to dodge his attack unseen
• Uses his jacket as a decoy while fleeing a pursuer
• Hears Alan ready his gun from a distance away
• Grabs a pipe (from somewhere) to counter Alan rushing him with a sword
• Throws Alan over his shoulder

Misc

• Makes pretty good scrambled eggs
• Not very good at painting faces

Misc Gear

• Activates a briefcase with jets attached to it using a remote
• A key mold pen
• A flashlight
• Binoculars
• A zipline briefcase
• His house has a defense system

Big O

"Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty"

Physicals

Strength

Striking

• Sticks its hand through a parking structure to catch a van driving away from it
• Stomps through the street to reach underground
• Breaks a Megadeus' faceplate with a punch
• Tackles a giant chimera through a laboratory complex
• Punches through a giant sword and knocks back a Megadeus
• Knocks the Leviathan down the street
• Punches through a wall and destroys two robots
• Clashes with Big Duo's diving punch, making a shockwave that shatters the windows on a nearby building and tosses cars, though it ends up with a damaged arm

Lifting/Throwing

• Tosses aside a smaller Megadeus
• Yanks a Megadeus to him using the Mobydick Anchors and lifts it with one arm
• Throws a giant robot high into the air
• Lifts the Behemoth, a massive Megadeus and destroys it off-screen

Pushing/Tearing

• Pushes a Megadeus into a building hard enough to shift it back
• Tears apart a giant sea monster's tongue
• Tears apart the chimera's tendrils and rips off its arm
• Tears off the plating covering Big Duo's pilot area

Other

• Overpowers Big Duo
• Catches Big Fau's rocket arms right after they plow through a building

Durability

Impact

• Blocks a bunch of blows from a Megadeus with its arm plating
  • The Megadeus was strong enough to lift Big O
• Gets hit by a glancing attack from a Megadeus
• Gets tackled by a smaller Megadeus
• Gets knocked over by a smaller Megadeus after throwing it
• Gets continuously blasted by a Megadeus' sonic weapon
  • An accident involving the weapon at the lab where it was created left a massive crater in the ground
• Gets tackled across a dome and through a building by Big Duo
• Blocks a dropkick from a Megadeus
• Gets thrown into a building by a Megadeus
• Gets tackled by the same Megadeus
  • The Megadeus matched Big O in strength
• Blocks more punches from the Megadeus with its arm plating until it gives up
• Gets tackled through a bridge by the Hydra

Piercing

• Takes a hit from a Megadeus' drill
  • Another Megadeus, using the same drill, drilled through concrete
• The Megadeus' drills bounce off its arm plating
• Blocks Big Duo's machine guns with its arm plating
• Blocks Big Duo's drills with its arm plating
• Blocks Big Fau's saw with its arm plating
• Big Fau's saw shaves off its crown, but doesn't damage the head underneath
• Takes a hit from Big Fau's saw to the torso

Energy

• Gets shocked by a sea monster - Again
  • The sea monster's electricity disabled a car and lit up a city
• Gets hit by a bunch of fireballs from a Megadeus
• Lasers that carve through buildings and a dome just bounce off its arm plating/crown
• Takes electricity from three Megadeus
  • A Megadeus made of components from those three shoots electricity that carves through buildings, a bridge, and tanks
• Blocks a Megadeus' laser with its arm plating
  • The laser blew up Military Police vehicles
• Gets hit with the Hydra's electricity
  • The Hydra's electricity caused large explosions
• Blocks several laser blasts from Big Fau

Explosives

• Blocks missiles with its arm plating
• Tanks missiles from a Megadeus
• Blocks Big Duo's missiles with its arm plating

Limits

• Its arm is ripped off by a point blank sonic attack

Speed

• Uses the Mobydick Anchors to dodge explosive fireballs
• Intercepts missiles
• Grabs a giant chimera as it leaps at him then slams it down
• Avoids finger lasers from a Megadeus
• Blocks Big Fau's laser blast

Misc

• Big O is 30 m tall
• Escapes a Megadeus' tendrils after being lifted into the air
• Destroyed a power plant off screen
• Either tanks or avoids two missiles from Big Duo
• Moves on its own to come to Roger's rescue

Equipment

Sudden Impact

• Uses the pistons on its arms to enhance the strength of its punches, blowing a hole through a Megadeus' torso
• Gives a van a good shake
• Pulling back the piston knocks the sea monster entangling it off
• Boosts itself back to the surface while underwater
• Destroys a Megadeus' head
  • The Megadeus was undamaged by missiles that knocked it back into a building hard enough to crater it
• Beheads a Megadeus without harming the people inside
• Punches a hole in a giant tree and the building it enveloped
• The air pressure punches through two skyscrapers
• Destroys Big Duo's head and makes a large crater in the ground beneath it
• Knocks back two Megadeus, leaving craters in their chests
• Destroys a piece of space debris
  • The debris was undamaged by the Chrome Buster
• Blows a hole through the chest of a giant construction robot
• Punches a Megadeus through a very thick concrete wall

Mobydick Anchors

• Fires a hip-mounted chain-linked anchor that stabs into a Megadeus
• Catches Big Duo as it's flying away
• Hooks to the top of a dome
• Fires anchors in a spread around it, piercing through three Megadeus, though they were previously damaged by Sudden Impacts, as well as a ship
• Have claws and can be finely controlled for delicate operations
• Lift Big Duo into the air
• Stops itself from falling over
• Pulls Big Fau into the water as it's falling in

Missile Party

• Launches a bunch of missiles from its abdomen, lifting a smaller Megadeus into the air and destroying it in the explosion, which also damages the area above ground
• Precisely blows off just a Megadeus' sonic weapons while leaving the pilot unharmed
• A few missiles damage a giant tree and the building it enveloped

Cannon Party

• Fires machine guns out of its chest, exploding and burning off Big Duo's bandages
• Breaks part of Big Duo's armor

O Thunder

• Fires an array of machine guns in its arm to destroy a Megadeus
• One shots Beck's Megadeus
• Blows off Big Duo's head and blows a hole through the line of skyscrapers behind it

Arc Line

• Shoots beams out of its eyes that destroys chunks of buildings
• Blows a hole in a Megadeus
• Blows up a giant robot containing bombs
• Cuts through part of a giant tree

Chrome Buster

• Fires a beam of energy from its head that tears through a giant sea monster
• Blows a hole in a dome
• Destroys the Leviathan's head
• Cuts off and destroys two of the Hydra's heads

Plasma Gimmick

• Makes an energy shield that blocks the Hydra's electricity, then expands with a powerful shockwave to annihilate it

Final Stage

• Produces an energy cannon that does massive damage to Big Fau and the surrounding area of the dome
  • This attack requires Dorothy to perform and appears to break after being used once

Misc

• Travels the city via an abandoned railway system and rises through the ground
  • Rises through the ground wherever it is
  • Rises through an entire skyscraper
• Tracks down the location of a man who was remotely piloting the Megadeus he just fought
• Determines the position of a Megadeus using holograms by tracking the path of the projectiles it fired
• Has a compartment in its hand that holds Angel
• Identifies that a giant robot is carrying bombs
• Has a garage in its foot for the Griffon
• Releases a smokescreen

Had a session with my operations team about the importance of accurate takt times for the ERP, they all walked away very enlightened and we have had better takt times since. Not that people are changing any processes, but they understand how it impacts others and are taking it more seriously.
Then, the next month, did the same but with the BOM and how issues in the BOM impact stock. Again, went over well. Not really their job to manage BOMs, but they started calling out specific builds and parts that they thought may be wrong, and, on almost all of them, they were right.
Third month, did a session on release structure and how the releases come to them and why the aggregate the way they do (largely depends on the packaging). Again, getting a lot of great feedback with my pickers/packers calling out bad standard packs and now we are fixing them in the ERP.
What other topics do you think would be beneficial? I work with both engineers and warehousing, so all are in the meetings. This is great bc engineers are seeing how they need to communicate changes and finding SMEs in the warehouse, meanwhile the warehouse workers are seeing how to "fix their own problems" like, if the releases are always ending on a fraction of a pallet and not rounding up, it's probably an error in the standard pack and they need to get that error to the packaging engineer and it will be corrected in the system to generate full pallet releases.
So anyway, repeating myself, but what other topics do you think would be beneficial? I have a list to get me through the year, but I imagine there must be some better topics to address that I havent thought of yet.
(for reference: my team is analysts/data scientists, so we are doing this as a data engineering project to get more accurate data flows)

I am thrilled to share my feedback on AdLunam, the innovative Engage to Earn launchpad with a Proof of Attention allocation mechanism. Their upcoming IDO of the native token $LUNAM on January 12, 2022, has caught my attention.
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The Proof of Attention system is truly groundbreaking. It gamifies engagement, allowing projects to select the most active and reputable investors for their IDOs. Participants earn points, badges, and ranks by actively engaging in the community, creating content, and participating in polls. This incentivizes a vibrant and involved investor base.
I am particularly excited about the introduction of dynamic investor profiles as NFTs. These profiles not only determine investor status but also grant access to various levels of allocation. The profile status is influenced by factors such as the investor's wallet history, including age, activity frequency, and token holding periods for airdrops and allocations.
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Currently thinking about my 4th level feat for a blood hunter I'm playing. They have awesome damage, and 19 strength already, and I'm looking to take a half feat to get it up to 20.
Problem is, I'm the most consistent frontline. And although BH has good health, I'm still siting there, using my own health for my abilities, with only 15 AC.
To even out my strength, I could take Heavy Armour profiency as my feat. An AC of 18 would be nice, and hey, it wasnt like i was stealthy anyway with my 10 Dexterity. I could also take a feat called power striker though.
Power Striker You have learned to land powerful blows with your melee weapon attacks, granting you the following benefits:  You can choose to take a penalty up to your proficiency bonus on your melee weapon attack rolls, and add the same amount to the damage you deal on a successful hit.  When you score a critical hit, the target must make a Strength save against a DC equal to your Strength score or be knocked prone.
Power striker seems like a poor man's GWM, but it does count as a half feat for strength. Plus, that crit effect is really tempting me, I really want to be knocking enemies prone as much as possible so I can action surge on them with advantage. Advantage from them being prone would also allow me to use the damage buff from power striker more safely.
Any thoughts? For context, we have a variety of healing but no dedicated healer, and we have a monk and melee druid, although they're more of a hit and run playstyle. My character has pretty low movement speed, so he's holding the line and presumably going to get hit a lot.

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"You have done well to get this far, but the Count has walked this Earth for a thousand years defeating hundreds stronger than you, and for a thousand more I-" "Get on with it!"
When the evil sorcerer Zarok was attacking the very kingdom he was banished from, the king chose his champion Sir Daniel Fortesque to lead his forces into battle. He was promptly killed by an arrow to the eye immediately as the fight began.
Yet, despite such an underwhelming death, the fogs of war and time changed perception of his role into one of a hero that slayed Zarok personally. A century later, when Zarok returned and cast a spell which raised the dead to conquer the kingdom, it also affected the late Sir Fortesque in his tomb. While constantly mocked by the wall gargoyles and spirits in the Hall of Heroes, all of whom know the truth of his fake status, he used the opportunity to live up to his own legacy and save Gallowmere from the threat facing it. While successful in this matter and earning his place among the heroes, centuries later a similar spell in Victorian London would once again call him to arms, preventing a plan for world domination.

Legend

1 - MediEvil (PS4)
2 - MediEvil 2 (PS1)

Strength

Striking

• Kicks away a filled cart¹
• Destroys a display cabinet with his own arm²
• Breaks crates²
• Destroys a large bookcase¹
• Breaks gravestones¹
• Breaks down a brick wall¹
• Shatters giant crystals¹
• Smashes a large boulder¹
• Knocks back large stone golems¹

Other

• Cuts off an enemy's lower half²
• Shifts crates²
• Pushes around a stone block with a fire lit on top of it¹
• Moves around a stone block larger than Sir Daniel¹
• Moves around tall, presumably stone, blocks²
• Pushes a lever to spin a large vehicle around on a platform¹

Durability

• Drops down a hole in a mausoleum¹
• Falls a large, but unknown, distance onto stone¹
• Telekinetically thrown into the air before falling onto stone without damage¹
• Falls an incredible distance down a time device and tower, having his fall slowed by several webs before hitting stone¹
• Blasted out of a tunnel by an explosion¹
• Is on the outskirts of a building as it explodes, enveloping smaller nearby buildings, and is next seen standing on ruins of a building unharmed²

Speed

• Jumps out of the way of a fire breath attack²
• Keeps ahead of a chasing jabberwocky¹
• Stays ahead of an explosion²

Weapons

Melee

• The Short Sword is a basic sword¹
  • Can spin attack with it¹
• The Broad Sword is a larger sword, more powerful than the Short Sword, which can be enchanted to do even more damage, though it loses some of this enchantment with each hit¹
  • When charged, it becomes imbued with electricity¹
• The Magic Sword has the strength of an enchanted Broad Sword, but never loses its charge¹
• The axe can be used both as a melee weapon as well as a thrown weapon which returns to Sir Daniel¹
• Clubs are strong weapons with limited durability which throw up dust when used¹
  • Can be set alight to set fire to things it hits¹
• The warhammer acts like a club, being able to smash objects without having limited durability¹
  • Creates a shockwave effect when used¹
  • In MediEvil 2, Sir Fortesque wields the Hammer of Thor, which has a far more pronounced shockwave²
  • When charged up, it creates a burst of electricity¹
• Can pull out his own arm and use it as a weapon, being able to throw it and have it return¹

Projectile

• The crossbow can rapidly fire as well as kill a person with a shot to the eye from around a thousand yards¹
  • Shown in use here¹
  • Bolts can ricochet off of surfaces¹
• In a sequel can wield a crossbow shooting flaming arrows²
• The longbow is more powerful than the crossbow¹
  • Shown in use here¹
• The flaming longbow shoots fire arrows¹
  • With a charge shot, they release a burst of fire around where they hit¹
• The magic longbow shoots powerful magic arrows¹
• Can shoot enemies with a pistol²
• Also has a blunderbuss for more powerful shots²
• The Gatling Gun allows for rapid fire shooting³
• Can throw daggers¹
  • Charging an attack lets Fortesque throw three at once¹
• Thrown javelins are more powerful than both crossbows and longbows¹

Other

• Was given bombs²
• The Cane Stick can be charged before striking the ground, shooting off three bolts of energy along it²
• After drinking the Dragon Potion can gain Dragon Armour, a suit impervious to head which allows him to breathe fire while worn¹
  • Shown allowing him to walk through a fire gate here¹
• The Lightning weapon is a gauntlet which shoots electricity which arcs between all nearby enemies, gradually reducing their health¹
  • This weapon is notably stronger in the sequel²
• Can throw chicken drumsticks, which after a moment turns all nearby enemies into roast chickens¹
• Uses a chalice to summon the skeletal spirits of heroes to fight against Zadok's elite force, using it afterwards to impart his own health into the spirits he summoned¹

Other Equipment

• Sir Fortesque can wield shields, capable of things which would damage him such as large boulders and giant cannonballs, both of which shatter on hitting the shield¹
  • Protects him from explosions¹
  • On taking too much damage, the shields break¹
  • He can get a magic shield which it's said can make him invincible while being wielded. In practice, it's a larger shield with a much greater level of durability which, when worn out, requires the shield to be re-enchanted¹
• After meeting and merging with his past self, gained a set of golden armour, which protects him to a greater degree to his regular armour²
• Life Bottles are filled with the same liquid which brought him back from the dead, and can be used to re-energize him should he fall on his adventure¹
  • In practice, when his health bar is depleted, he automatically uses a bottle to bring himself back to full health¹
  • When he falls down a pit or off a ledge, he is floated back to safety before using the bottle to bring himself back¹
  • Can refill both his health and the flasks with spots filled with the same sort of energy which fills the life bottles¹
• Carries a torch that can be lit on fire to both light areas and light other things on fire²

Other

• Can have his head removed without issue, and still control his body while it is²
  • Can place his head in an area, seeing a puzzle's answer while having his body carry it out²
  • Puts his head on a disembodied, moving hand, allowing him to control it²
  • Once took the place of the head of a large Frankenstein's Monster-like creature, which could fight a larger robot and send its head flying²
  • Can swap between his regular body and another body freely²
• Can dash short distances to charge into things with his shield¹
• By using Good Lightning, expends his own health to heal others²
• Willing to shoot a surrendering enemy in the face, albeit a serial killer that killed his love interest before he went back in time to prevent it²
• Despite lacking a lower jaw, can speak...sort of¹

Clairaudience:
“Harbinger” at 10:34am someone will be making a significant appearance soon. They may communicate through a third party to initiate some kind of meeting.
“Spider Web”: Spiders allow one to contact one's deepest wisdom and nurtures a sense of connection and integration at all levels. Her web symbolizes the tying together of loose ideas into a tidy package.
“Cryptic”: Something is being hidden. I asked spirit for clarification and then heard “surveillance”. Something is being hidden from those who are seeking out a certain level of protected information. I’m hearing “hidden in plain sight”, so it’s more so being camouflaged.
“Arsenal”: clarified by “Jam Pack” someone could be carrying an arsenal of weapons on them at this time. Something about a weapon jam or a weapon that keeps jamming could also be significant.
“Canary”: Someone could be a singer. I’m hearing solo artist. I’m hearing there’s an upgrade happening to the quality of someone’s singing. Of course because of the effort they’ve put in. The quality of their vocal chords has improved and this will come with pleasant surprise. I’m hearing an opportunity to sing before others.
“Third House/Gemini energy”: There’s a lot here about communication, or how someone communicates. I’m also getting something in reference to someone’s neighborhood. I’m hearing “neighborhood watch”. If someone has been feeling unsafe in their neighborhood, I’m getting that there are neighbors secretly keeping an eye out for you. You don’t know this, I’m getting you may not even know the people looking out for you. Something about “Hidden Allies”.
“Retrospect”: Someone is revisiting the past. I more so heard “reviewing” something that happened in the past. This could be in regards to court. A case could be getting revisited. Or some kind of appeal could be made
Clairvoyance:
A Mandrill monkey was standing at the edge of a cliff, looking out dutifully. It looked older. It also looked like a leader of some kind. The Mandrill took pride in being a protector from what I could see. I’m hearing “benevolent power” as I write this. Mandrill has much in common with the Baboon when it comes to symbolism. The creature represents responsibility, strength, and fertility.
I’m seeing the map to a stair well that reads “Exit Stairway”. There could be a fire drill occurring or an actual fire. Please remember to use the stairs. There’s something significant about using the stairs during this emergency. I don’t know if someone is alone while this happens and ends up panicking. I actually heard “explosion”. So this could be in regards to a busted circuit.
I saw an image of a frilled lizard and it caught me off guard. It was a quick flash. But here is what I’ve gathered from the vision: Frilled Neck Lizard looks very angry! His message brings to notice how you deal with personal power, particularly with communicating in groups and the emotion of anger.
I saw an image of the Canadian flag 🇨🇦 but it looked like it was catching fire. Or being burned somehow? It was burning very slowly and waving in the wind. I’m not sure if there is some type of protest going on or something of that caliber. But it’s weird because I didn’t pick up on aggression. It felt more like a flashback of some sort. The way pieces of the burning flag were flying into the air felt reminiscent of something that occurred in the past. This could be a past trauma that still plagues this nation, is what I’m hearing.
Download:
Overhearing a conversation behind me.. a man was joking with another man and I heard him say “rags to riches”. He works in construction. The way he said it stuck with me. Here we have a working man, who could potentially benefit from a change in financial status. But the way he said it was light hearted and playful. As if he still had a bit of dreamer in him, but he was okay with the reality of his circumstances simultaneously. I’m picking up on an energy of someone who is extremely grateful in nature. This is a glass half full type of person. They can be experiencing an unexpected change specifically because they weren’t expecting it. I’m getting that this is a gift from the universe because of their ability to maintain their inner child, possibly into older age 🙂

1) Are you OK with direct message offers from vendors?
No.
2) What are your main reasons for wanting a seedbox?
I'm looking for cheap storage that I can use to store a large quantity of data - for example, as a share for my Jellyfin server, and to store content for my website. I may also use this seedbox for seeding on private trackers.
3) Are you okay with sharing hardware resources with other users [shared] or do you need the seedbox hardware dedicated to just you [dedicated]?
Shared is fine.
4) Do you want someone else to be responsible for maintaining the seedbox software (operating system, applications) [managed] or do you want to do it all yourself [unmanaged]?
Either is fine - however, if managed solutions don't have a lot of apps, I would prefer unmanaged.
5) Please describe your seedbox experience. (You may wish to list any seedbox providers you've been with before.)
No seedbox experience - however, I have
6) Please describe your experience with Linux. (Most seedboxes run Linux and some knowledge of it may be helpful.)
Relatively proficient at Linux server management, particularly with Debian-based distros.
7) What is the high end of your budget? (Please give a specific amount and a currency. "Cheap" might mean something different to one person than it does to another.)
At most USD 7.50
8) Do you have preferences or requirements concerning payment? (Paypal, Bitcoin, etc.)
Credit cards and PayPal are sufficient.
9) Do you plan to use public trackers?
Possibly, but I will mostly use private
10) What kind of connection speed do you need? (Common answers would be 100Mbps, 1Gbps, 2Gbps, 10Gbps.)
1 Gbps
11) How much combined upload and download traffic do you expect each month? Include download of files from the seedbox to your local computer. If you don't know, tell us what upload amount per month would realistically make you very happy with your seedbox.
2-3 TB
12) What is the minimum disk space you need?
1 TB, although 2 TB would be nice
13) Do you require a specific type of mass storage? (HDD, SSD, NVMe SSD) If other than HDD, please explain why you think you need this.
No.
14) Do you require a specific torrent client?
No. However, qBittorrent would be nice
15) Do you require any other applications on the seedbox? (e.g. Plex, Subsonic, Radarr)
rclone / rsync are definitely required. It would also be nice to have Nextcloud installed
16) Do you require SSH access to the command line?
Yes, for remote management and transfers via SFTP
17) Do you require access to a remote desktop?
No
18) Do you require admin level (i.e. 'root') access? If yes, please explain why.
No, unless the seedbox is unmanaged
19) Do you have any other specific requirements?
I would prefer if the seedbox had good speeds with my country (Singapore).
20) Is there any other information you think might help in getting a useful recommendation?
Basically, I'm looking for a seedbox focused on cheap storage. The few seedboxes I've seen have had some dealbreakers - Ultra.cc hasn't had any server in my budget in stock for months, Hostingby.design and Giga-rapid have limited app access, and SeedHost is a bit unclear on what apps it offers.

Common law married. We have 2 kids 5 & 6. I have 3 other older children.
Just recently moved within visiting distance of my kids (6 hours one way). Hard to make the drive working schedules, the toddlers, we have pets. His family visits him monthly they have no responsibility, family, kids and so on. He spends that 100% time only with them. Not our kids their grandkids/niece nephew. They sit out and drink and smoke (we are not a smoking home) their whole 4 day visits.
I was able to make the 6 hour trip to see my kids! ❤️ he insisted on coming which is ok. We had to bring the toddlers and dogs (guard dogs aggressive dogs) we stay in hotels. So no leaving my room with out the dogs. No going to the pool with the kids .. they (the front desk) gave us strict rules I understand.
Day one his family took him (only) and our vehicle and was gone the whole day. I was not able to get my other children or see them. (They are in college no vehicle). Day 2 he got drunk wit his mom and brother and forgot about time at their house fenced in yard. But could not take the dog, not going to be there long. Which turned into him being gone 9:30am to 5pm. 2 of my older kids had made plans for that night.
Today is day 3, I got up and the toddlers ready to go get my other kids and they want to see their siblings too. I figure we get up and just leave. I get out of the shower in the hotel and he is gone!!!! His brother called they are out on a quick hike, 1.5 hours away, he can’t find his wallet can I look for it. He needs his ID so he can make the event they have planned tomorrow. (I had no clue about and our last day and I will see my kids only at lunch hopefully) For the first and last time in my trip to spend 4 days with them. Tomorrow is my daughters BIRTHDAY I do not care how old she is she is my daughter. I have not seen since August 2022. My last trip up here. I found his wallet, I hid it. I hid it very well, he will not find it. He will not be able to go to the event and leave me stuck again here, my last chance to see my other kids. (It’s nothing event - he goes to these shows all the time). Am I the asshole for hiding his wallet, I have tried taking to him about my feelings but that is just a fight and my toddlers mimick him calling me a asshole or telling me to shut up, so my fight is gone. I am working on my kids to understand it’s wrong to say these things. As I sit here I wonder am I a asshole like him now that I have lowered myself to his level? Should I just give him the wallet and pray some how else I see my kids before we leave. Am I just a Baby? It’s life right I should grow up and move on.

I will do my best to try to break this down in order of events. And let me start of by saying our apartment property was recently taken over by a larger property company in my area. This is in the Toledo, Ohio area.
Things to note - Our Agreed rent is $730. The Property Office is only open on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until 5PM
Our previous lease Ended on 5/27/2023. We had a Lease renewal letter on our door breaking down all our options to renew our lease in March. On 3/20/23 my wife, son and I all went to the office to renew our lease. The property manager said we have to do it through their app they use. We explained to her that the app will not let us register because the resident code they provided to us was saying it was invalid. So, we sat in this office for over an hour getting this app setup just to resign the lease. After about an hour the property manager was able to get it setup using my wifes email. The property manager then said she uploaded the lease to our account and please go in and sign. So my wife did, but the app only allows you to upload 1 persons signature to sign. We mentioned this to the manager and she said we will be fine, since nothing changed on the lease. And if there were any issues she will let us know. Our lease was signed, we think we are good after this.
Fast forward to 5/30/23 I receive a call while I am at work at 1:40pm. The property manager is telling me we never renewed our lease. I explained the events that happened in march and we did in fact sign the lease and that she in fact said we were good to go that day. She stated there must have been an issue in the system, and asked if we could log back in and sign the lease that was now in our account. She also assured us that since she didn't know what happened she will make sure we don't get charged anything extra and will stay at our agreed upon monthly rate.
I get off of work at 4:30pm On Wednesday 5/31/23. I came home and logged into the app and went to sign the lease. Only I could sign since the app only allows you to upload 1 signature, and only allows you to sign in its pre selected areas.
​
Thursday 6/1/23, We notice the app shows our balance as $1149.00. The app does not let you pay a certain amount so we get a money order for $730 and drop it off in the office. Money orders are an accepted method of payment. In the envelope my wife left a note stating "We will continue to pay with money orders until our account balance is fixed. If you have any issues or concerns please contact us"
The office was closed that day, Thursday.
6/2/23 Friday, I did not receive any phone calls the whole day. I get home around 4:45 PM with an envelope Taped to the outside of my door. In the envelope was our rent check and a letter.
Letter States.
"We had been in communication in regards to your lease renewal to avoid extra fees via phone. It has been brought to my attention that only one of the lease holder had signed the lease therefor it could not be countersigned by the property manager before June 1ST, 2023 when the previous lease was up on May 31st, 2023. The area manager then added the extra fees of market rent plus $250 as stated on the original lease renewal letter. Unfortunately, those fees cannot be reversed. You may still renew in order to avoid theses fees in the future and that would just require another signature. You are more than welcome to come down to the office for help with this. I am unable to accept any partial payment. Enclosed is the money order that was received from the drop box"
It is still 4:45 PM so I go directly to the office which is supposed to be open until 5pm and no-one is there.
What should we do next? I refuse to pay anything extra over our agreed upon rent when we originally signed this lease. Especially since all of this has nothing to do with us. We were all good for the 2-1/2 month after we originally signed, Then they call us 2 days before the lease is supposed to start saying none of this happened, and due to the limitations of THEIR app only one of us can even sign it and we are at fault for that?????

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Part 18 A Delicate Situation (Part 1) (Part 17)
​
"Aho, Zim, ni je na?" Msko was the first to notice and greet the relatively short, stout, and furry being that just waddled into The Hammer’s Control Center.
​
"Ah, Administrator Zimuzari, I am honored you could join us." Atxika's eyes quickly shot up from the holographic display being projected from the table she was leaning on and landed on Kyim'ayik colony leader. "Have you had an opportunity to read through the initial report we sent you?"
​
"Hello there, Mkso, Admiral Atxika. It's…" The reddish-brown ball of fur paused his adorable squeaking, half covered his mouth with one of his paws, and let out such a tremendous yawn that Atxika could see both the massive front incisors as well as the not quite as large, but still impressive, set of canines behind them. "My apologies, I woke up less than half an hour ago. But it is good to see you both, as well as an honor and privilege to join you in your Command Center, Admiral."
​
"The honor and privilege are mine." Atxika bowed slightly with her pleasant smile still wide. "And I would like to apologize for waking you. It will still be a few days before we arrive at our destination and this strategy meeting could have waited."
​
"No, no, no, that's alright." Zim quickly replied with his species' high pitch and chirpy version of galactic common while stretching out and flicking his long, shiny whiskers as he approached the military leaders. "I've already gotten about nine hours of sleep. Skipping the last hour or two has killed me yet! And I’d rather get started on this sooner rather than later.”
​
Admiral Atxika had to put in real effort to prevent herself start cooing at the delightful manner with which Zim made his way over to the holo-table and climbed the stool-like chair designed for his anatomy. The long, wide, and flat tail distinctive of the Kyim'ayik was lifted just off the ground and stretched far back to balance the rest of the being’s body weight while the relatively short hind legs carried him along in an awkward, though comfortable, bipedal gait. With the limited range of motion in the squat, fuzzy man’s leg-like arms as he stretched, it was clear his species was more intended for quadrupedal locomotion. Despite that fact, the posture of the Kyim'ayik Administrator while he walked was far more similar to her own, or a human’s, than what she had remembered from her previous interactions with the species. However, as Zim stretched out his back to its full length, adding good chunk to his overall height, and began climbing the stool so he could have a proper view of holographic display, Atxika was suddenly reminded of a domesticated species of vermin-hunting musteloid from her species’ homeworld that were quite popular pets. Even though she knew this furry little man was a well respected guest on her ship, and a being from an Ascended species, she couldn’t get over how adorable he was.
​
“I hope you didn’t wake the misses.” Msko commented with a sarcastic tone while shooting the beaver-otter a cheeky wink.
​
“Nah, that woman could sleep through an atomic detonation.” Hearing the galactic common word for ‘atomic detonation’ be said with such an endearing squeak was pushing the Admiral to the absolute limits of her self control.
​
“I can have some food and refreshments brought, if you like.” Atxika interjected while doing her best to keep her smile from growing too wide and showing all of her teeth.
​
“Oh n-” Zim was about to politely decline before Msko interrupted him with a bit too much energy.
​
“Yes, please!” The War Chief blurted out. “That restaurant Tens took me to in your Amenities Section was amazing! I knew this ship had a huge manufacturing capability, but I didn’t realize you’d have freshly grown food.”
​
“I’ll have the private command facilities prepare something.” The Admiral quickly replied to ensure that Zim couldn’t refuse. “How does a zetloxoni platter sound?”
​
“What are-” Zim began to ask before Atxika realized her mistake and explained.
​
"Zetloxoni are fish fillets, rolled in a semisweet and highly nutrient-rich grain, and occasionally topped with more fish or other ingredients." The Admiral replied while typing into the display to bring up a holographic representation of the sushi-like dish she was describing. "This is what I was thinking."
​
"That actually looks amazing!" The Kyim'ayik ears suddenly perked up and eyes grew wide with delight.
​
"Wonderful! It's settled then." Atxika pressed in a few more commands to place the order then tried to redirect the conversation to reason for the meeting. "I find it is often easier to address delicate situations with a clear mind and full stomach."
​
"Delicate?" The squeaky reply carried a noticeably sarcastic tone as Zim shifted his attention towards the holographic representation of a planet and saucer shaped ship orbiting it. "That looks like Arnehilians. Ain't nothing delicate about the Grays, except maybe their physical forms."
​
"Well, they're definitely Arnehilians but…" Msko interjected with a hesitant tone that caught his Kyim'ayik friend off guard. "We don't think they're Grays."
​
There was a second of confused silence as Zim stared into the War Chief's eyes to see if this was a joke. Before Nishnabe could bring himself to explain, however, Atxika chimed in to give the proper explanation.
​
"What I am about to say is Level 8 classified information from Military Command and should be treated with the appropriate amount of secrecy. Do you understand?" After an incredibly professional and understanding nod from the Administrator, the Admiral continued. "We have confirmed the existence of a non-aligned, neutral-standing collective of decentralized Arnehilian groups who refer to themselves as, quote, 'the Greens', or the Free People of Sundered Arnehil. According to all reports, they are an ecologically-minded, nomadic, agricultural society who regularly travel in such a way as to avoid any means of tracking or detection by their… less peaceful cousins. However, there are a few who regularly check in with Military Command to avoid potential confrontations. There have been no indications that any of their groups discovered so far are violent, nor even capable of galactic standard levels of self-defense."
​
"I thought those rumors were just misinformation or propaganda." Zim was now much more earnest as gazed upon the holographic saucer floating above the planet. "And you say they're even ecologically-minded?"
​
"Our drones haven't detected any significant environmental disruptions." Msko sounded far more nonchalant about this situation than his long-time friend was expecting. There was no aggression or anger in his movements as he indicated towards a highlight portion of the holographic planet floating above the table and prompted the display to project a new hologram. "Their settlement is using solar and wind energy to operate their infrastructure and accumulate power reserves. From what we can tell, they're only a week away from finishing their agricultural harvest and two weeks away from their power reserves being fully recharged. If we had been delayed a month, there's a good chance we would have missed them completely."
​
“What kind of resource impacts would I have to account for?” The Administrator quickly followed up.
​
“Maybe a couple hundred tons worth of basic elements and organic matter.” It was clear Msko had already scoured everything and couldn’t find any reason to be concerned. “But the drones' sensors can’t detect any real difference between now and six months ago. Like I said, if we were delayed a month, we might not have even known they were ever there.”
​
"I see…" There was a moment of pause as Zim stared at the highly detailed holographic representation of a temporary settlement located only a couple dozen kilometers from where he had been planning his own colony.
​
The two military officers remained silent to give the Kyim'ayik Administrator all the time he needed to think about what he had just been told. Each species, without exception, had some unique form of architectural design and aesthetic, and the variety of buildings Zim was looking at were no different. The extensive use of cheap, easy to produce polymers, the simple, module construction, and rounded, nearly circular, aesthetic to all of the building were all clearly Arnehilian. However, there was something humble, almost intentionally so, about the lack of silver-metal detailing combined with the way the structures simply flowed into the untouched trees around them. Rather than a budding slaver-colony run by beings who thought themselves entitled everyone and everything, this looked like the respectfully maintained dwelling of a temporary guest who wished to remain discreet. Though the Administrator knew his duty to his people would normally demand he evict these uninvited squatters from his land, he couldn’t help but feel something almost kindred in what he was seeing.
​
"Have you made contact with them yet?" Zim flatly asked, though he could already guess the answer. "Do they know we're coming?"
​
"No and no." Atxika promptly answered, while letting her smile fall into a more professional expression. "Their ship is inactive, seems to be in a state of disrepair, and is currently in a free-floating, low orbit. According to our scans, their ground-based sensor systems are incapable of detecting our reconnaissance drones. However, they would absolutely notice our fleet entering the system."
​
"Well, we don't wanna scare them." Zim finally squeaked out with a slightly giggle that sounded more like a chirp. "Reptiles always freak out when you startle them."
​
It had been nine hours of working in the greenhouse when Mayor Harideth noticed the young dark gray-skinned, olive-drab clad messenger running towards him at full speed. Though he had known this young woman her entire life, she was a member of her community after all, he had never seen her running this fast. It wasn't the speed of her approach that made him stop what he was doing, rather it was the unadulterated fear plastered across her face. As Nalhilum sprinted down the path between the vertical hydroponic racks, a few of the Arnehilians in the greenhouse took notice, though didn't stop their work. When the young woman came to a sliding halt just in front of the Mayor, it looked like she was about to keel over from exhaustion and stress.
​
"My dear, please." Harideth had a genuinely concerned expression on his scaly face as he quickly moved to brace the young woman and prevent her from falling over. "You are too young to give yourself a heart attack running like that. Whatever is happening, you don't need t-"
​
"Mayor, we've been detected." The dread that came out of Nalhilum's voice and the tears in her eyes as she looked up at her community leader shattered the man's soul.
​
"Do not fear, Nalhilum, my dear. Please sit and rest. We will be fine. I promise." Harideth helped the young woman slowly lower herself into a seated position, plucked a just-ripe fruit from a vine he had been tending, and handed it to her before turning towards the closest other people in the greenhouse. "Maricha, please see to Nalhilum and ensure she recovers. I am needed in my mayoral duties immediately."
​
In the few seconds it took for the worker to be at the young woman's side, she had already begun nibbling on the sweet treat, savoring it as this was her last opportunity, and the Mayor had given her a gentle kiss on the forehead then began running out of the greenhouse. Though Harideth felt he had a personal duty to stay at his messenger's side until she had fully recovered and ensured she wouldn't need further assistance, he had a greater duty to his community as a whole. Despite feeling the same fear that he saw in Nalhilum’s eyes, and wanting to ball up and hide with every fiber of his body, he charged as fast as he could towards the town hall building. Though he knew running this fast was not good for his health, especially in his old age and after working all day, the only thing on the Mayor’s mind was the safety and future of the people who trusted him with their lives.
​
“Please don’t let it be the Oppressors.” Harideth muttered to himself as he ran as fast as his legs could take him. “By the Gods of Old, please don’t let it be them.”
​
For nearly a millennium now, his people had been free of those who flew the red and gray flag and, despite the many hurdles and setbacks, they had found their own form of happiness. After the Dynastic family who had kept his working-class ancestors in literal chains had been dealt a devastating blow when their capital ship was overrun by a group of abducted, pre-Ascension beings, it sparked a revival of the Free People’s ideology in the slave population. Stories of people living together in mutual aid, love, and respect once only told in hushed whispers were shouted from the rooftops as most of the surviving members of the Dynasty were thrown from them. Once all of the slaves of the other species were freed and on their way back to their respective homes, the budding groups of Greens scattered into the interstellar winds to avoid reprisal from other Dynasties which were sure to want revenge. There was even a dream that they would find other groups of Free Arnehilians living among the stars.
​
It was a blessing that their rebellion had initially gone unnoticed by the rest of the Arnehilian Dynasties and the greater community as that gave his ancestors time to disperse beyond the ability to be completely tracked down. Even if a few scattered communities eventually met their death or worse, the end of their freedom, there would be some who were able to survive and thrive. Though Harideth had assumed his nomadic village may eventually run into someone, he put a great deal of effort into minimizing that potential. In fact, he chose this very planet as their temporary stopping grounds specifically because it was far out of the way of most civilizations and people. After spending nearly a full season on this beautiful world, he had even started to grow attached to it and was looking for an excuse to postpone their migration in order to facilitate repairs to their ship. Being detected after so long, and with only a few weeks until they would have been ready to leave on their own, was something the Mayor could have never been prepared for.
​
“Make a hole!” A person wearing a dull green cap shouted down a rather cramped corridor that Harideth was barreling towards at full speed before quickly pulling back and nodding towards the man as he passed.
​
“Thank you, Chuzikum.” Harideth faintly mouthed while darting past the person and into the now cleared passageway that led outdoors.
​
Finally outside, the man only slowed his sprint to turn a few corners and avoid running into the few unwary people who had failed to notice him coming. He was less than a hundred meters away from the town hall building housing his destination, the command and control room, and he couldn’t stop now. Regardless of how hard his heart was beating, how much he felt his body overheating from the strain, and how much he wanted to just collapse, he couldn’t fail his people. As the building got closer and closer, Harideth tried to think through all of the possibilities of who it could be that had detected them. Though none of the options that came to his mind were particularly pleasant, from Bendari pirates to Qui’ztar law enforcement or even the Oppressors themselves, he was already trying to work out contingency plans as he finally approached the already open door and his assistant waiting for him beside it.
​
“Please close the door behind us, Marlati.” Harideth’s request was just barely audible as he crossed the threshold of the door and was quickly followed by his assistant who did as she was asked. “Who is it and what do they want?”
​
“The communication signal we are receiving registers as the Qui’ztar Third Matriarchy, Mayor Harideth.” Marlati quickly and quietly replied as she followed the man towards the command and control room.
​
“Oh, thank the Gods.” The Mayor stopped mid step and placed a hand on the wall next to lean and catch his breath for a moment. “This could still be very bad, but it could have also been so much worse.”
​
“Um, sir?” The Mayor’s assistant watched him with a hint of concern as she could see how much he was overheating. “Would you like me to get you a cooling pack?”
​
“Oh, no, that’s alright.” Harideth stood back up straight and continued towards his final destination, though a bit slower than before. As he turned back to his assistant, he gave a compassionate nod of approval. “You are too kind, my dear. This is just a…” The man’s voice trailed off as his thoughts began to concentrate on a plan of action.
​
“A what, sir?” Marlati nervously in a manner which caused the Mayor to look back at her. “I’m sorry sir, but this is the first time this has ever happened in my entire life.”
​
“First time for me too, Marlati.” Harideth admitted with a hit of nervous laughter. “But I do know enough about the Qui'ztar to not be issuing an immediate emergency evacuation order.”
​
“That’s not very reassuring.” Though the whine that just came his assistant would have been grating in any other circumstance, she was right and the Mayor knew it.
​
“That is the name of the game you help some of the children play, something of the magical planets?” Harideth stopped at the door to the room which separated him from his responsibilities as a Mayor.
​
“Adventures of the Magical Worlds, sir?”
​
“Yes! I believe there is a moral alignment chart in the rules somewhere.” Though it was clear that his assistant didn’t quite know what he was getting, it became incredibly obvious as he explained. “If I remember correctly, everything I’ve read about the Qui’ztar would put them roughly in the ‘hierarchical neutral’ category.”
​
“Ah…” The assistance was quite hesitant as she knew what that actually implied. “That still isn’t very reassuring.”
​
“They’re here to do a job. And as long as we comply and don’t get in their way, we’ll be fine.” The Mayor was doing his best to hold up his mask of confidence and not let this young feel what he felt.
​
“And what if their job is to kill us?”
​
“Then they wouldn’t have made their presence known. They would have simply shown up and sent us all to the next life.” However morbid that statement was, it actually did give the Marlati a small sense of real relief in the fact they weren't already dead as the door to the command and control room opened and the pair slowly walked in.
​
"Sir! Thank the Gods you're here!" A communications specialist shouted from his seat in front of a terminal towards the Mayor as he quickly approached.
​
"Of course, Telucima, I wouldn’t make you talk to them all by yourself." Harideth tried to crack a joke to the young woman behind the terminal in a vain attempt to calm her obviously flustered nerves. Though Telucima’s dark gray skin was never as shiny as a royal's, her face was especially dull and pale at the moment and the Mayor couldn’t help but empathize with her. “Now, please, give me your report. What do we know?”
​
“Well…” Telucima made a gulping sound as she swallowed some of the semi-poisonous saliva that had been building up in her mouth as a fear response. “There is a fairly substantial colony fleet headed our way being escorted by the First Independent Fleet of the Third Qui'ztar Matriarchy. They have stated that we are inhabiting an unregistered settlement on a planet that has already been claimed by the Kyim'ayik. However, they have not yet made any demands, claimed our settlement is in violation of any laws, or even made any threats. I am absolutely sure they know who we are, but they didn’t explicitly identify us in their message. I’m not exactly sure what it is going on, but the signal strength and delay indicate they are still a day or two away.”
​
“Interesting…” The Mayor commented with a more curious than scared tone while rubbing the top of his head in contemplation. “No demands, threats, or attempts to justify the use of force through galactic law… Is there any way we could get a real-time communications link established?”
​
“Sir? You want to talk to them?” Marlati could barely contain her fear as she interjected. “I thought every species hated us, and you want to talk to them?”
​
“They hate the bastard Oppressors, Marlati, though maybe not as much as we do.” Harideth knew this would be his one and only chance to make a good impression on what could otherwise be their impending doom and he was doing everything in his power to muster the inner courage needed for this conversation. “They may not know the difference between us and… them… yet. But something tells me they might.”
​
“Sir,” Telucima had redirected her attention back to her terminal and was running through the system to facilitate the Mayor’s request, “I can establish a quantum link, though it would require me to activate the relay on the ship. If there are any oppressors nearby, there’s a chance they could detect our presence and attempt to use the trace to track us down.”
​
“Do it.” The Mayor ordered with a tone that implied he knew the risks. “I want to see if these Qui’ztar would be willing to allow us to stay for the few weeks required to complete our harvest. Worst comes to worst, we’ll have to start packing everything up early and delay the repairs for another season.”
​
The next few moments were nearly silent aside from the sounds of a tapping keyboard and the occasional digitized ping from the terminal. Telucima had begun the task of awakening the ship, configuring the communications channel, and activating the relay through text-based commands on a simple, monochromatic screen, while the other two people clad in simple olive-drab clothing could do nothing but fester in their thoughts. While Harideth was busy planning out how he was going to grovel and beg for permission to finish his people’s desperately needed harvest of fresh food, Marlati was simply doing everything in her power not to shake in fear. When the final confirmation ping came from the terminal and Telucima began pressing her headset tightly to her ears, the faint whispers of a translated voice could be heard.
​
“Yes I can understand you…" The communications specialist, though lacking much previous experience in speaking with a member of another species, seemed to be focused solely on her job and not her fear. "Oh no, I'm sorry, this terminal doesn't have that function. It's… Yes, I can absolutely do that. Just give me one moment to set up the connection and I'll be right back with you."
​
In a flash, Telucima had taken off her headset, stood from her console, and was moving to a nearby bag resting on a table, much to the shock of the other Arnehilians. Before either the Mayor or his assistant could question the young woman, she was triumphantly holding up her personal data-tablet and was returning to her seat.
​
"What-" Harideth began before the young woman cut him off while pulling her tablet into the terminal.
​
"Ope, sorry about that, sir." The specialist cut off her mayor and began to explain in a rush. "I was speaking to a communications officer and she wanted an audio-visual feed to link to her commanding officer. This terminal doesn't haven't that functionality, but I can just just patch a link through my tablet. It's got a mic and camera and we can use it as the display."
​
“Good thinking, Telucima.” The Mayor laid a gentle, compassionate hand on the woman’s shoulder after she had placed the tablet at a good angle and sat back into her chair to type in the commands. “I knew you were the right person for this job.”
​
“It was the communications officer’s idea, sir.” Telucima couldn’t help herself but to be honest regardless of the praise. “I’m just glad there were instructions for this kind of patch in the training manual. It should just take a moment to load.”
​
When the relatively small screen came to life in front of the Mayor’s face, he saw three faces looking back at him with expectant eyes, and he froze in shock. Though none of the expressions looked out right hostile, he could tell none of those individuals would tolerate anything less than submission. Despite only ever seen descriptions of the being he was now looking at, all three could easily be identified. Even without his tail being visible, the furry, large-toothed person on the right was clearly a Kyim'ayik. The large, mostly-hairless, blue primate with pronounced tusks in the middle was, without a doubt, a Qui'ztar of particularly high rank. However, the not-as-large, similarly hairless, but copper-brown primate on the left was a species Harideth had a special fear, and particular reverence, for.
​
“Are… Are you a Nishnabe?” Harideth stammered out before even introducing himself or allowing these beings to introduce themselves, which prompted the Qui’ztar and Kyim'ayik to turn to the now confused human.
​
“Yes…” Msko replied hesitantly. “I take it you are aware of my people?”
​
“Aware…” Harideth couldn't stop the heartfelt smile from forming across his scaly face. “You… Your people… the Vanquishers of Tyrants, the Bane of Oppressors, the Unstoppable Rage, and the Saviors of the Oppressed… Your people are the reason my people have been blessed with a thousand years of freedom!”

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You wouldn’t kill me. You’d miss me.
I never miss.

Pierce Brosnan is an Irish-American actor, most notable for his seven year tenure as British secret agent James Bond. The 1990s offered a sleek new vision for what was becoming “an old-fashioned spy series”, or so the studio feared. Bond was now in the Information Age, and his arsenal included high-tech computers and weaponry along with his standard firearms and gadgets.
This Bond is very much the most gadget-centric Bond to date. Things as mundane as watches, sunglasses or ballpoint pens could, in reality, be grappling hooks or incendiary grenades. However, he doesn’t rely solely on technology to get through his many adventures. He’s a competent martial artist and excels in gunfights, even when wildly outnumbered. Brosnan’s version of the secret agent is, in my opinion, the most well-equipped and one of the most physically able versions of the character.
Feats come from Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World is Not Enough and Die Another Day. Hover over a link to see which film it comes from.

Physicals

Strength

• Knocks over a large bookshelf
• Resists being pushed off a ledge by another man
• Tosses a chain onto a low-flying helicopter to cause it to crash

Endurance

• Swings through a window on a grappling cord, and he’s up and running a moment later
• He’s knocked down a ladder, but recovers by the time he gets to the bottom rung
• He jumps a helicopter on a motorcycle, then crashes through a roof, unharmed
• Continues fighting Stamper after a number of blows to the face
• Falls from a low hot air balloon onto a domed structure, and he recovers by grabbing some nearby cables
  • Bond suffered a dislocated collarbone after this fall, however
• He’s in close proximity to a small explosion, but stays mostly unharmed
• Gets electrocuted with a gauntlet that can output 100,000 volts, which leaves him writhing in pain but conscious
  • Scene describing the electrical weapon, where the 100,000 volt figure is from

Torture Resistance

• A look at some of the tortures Bond suffered in Korea, including beatings, being held underwater, and scorpion stings
  • This torture lasts 14 months, and Bond doesn’t share any details on MI6 in that time
  • A medical check up reveals scorpion venom and antidote in his system, confirming that specific torture method

Agility
Movement

• Catches up to an aircraft taking off on the runway
• Safely rolls out of a speeding car
• Runs and jumps into a closing metal door
• Catches up to an airplane during takeoff, jumping into the plane through the landing gear

Reflexes

• Evades a hail of automatic gunfire by dashing into cover
• When a man attempts to shoot Bond’s knees from nearly point blank range, Bond moves his legs to avoid the shots
• Performs a combat roll down stairs to avoid handgun fire
• Ducks to cover the moment he spots a shooter’s laser sight

Skill

Unarmed Combat

• Descends from an air vent and into a bathroom stall to take out a soldier
• [NSFW] Fights off Onatopp, an assassin who’s sexually excited by combat and murder
• Knocks out a man by slamming him into the walls of an elevator twice
• Has an extended fistfight with Alec Trevylyn, former agent 006, ending with Alec grabbing a handgun to hold Bond at gunpoint
• Punches a guy out in two strikes
• During a fight, he breaks a man’s arm, then punches him off a ledge
• Consistently one-punches goons
• Takes a couple strikes from a martial artist standing, then throws one right back
• Fights Mr. Kil in a room full of moving lasers

With Weapons

• Spots an attacker in the reflection of a bronze decoration, then uses the decoration to bludgeon them
• Knocks out Onatopp with a blow to the head with his pistol
• While on the ground, he kicks a chair at a man, then punches him out. He goes on to take a gunman out with punches and an elbow.
• Fights off four men who were beating him with a bat moments before, making heavy use of furniture and blunt items
• Steals a man’s knife, then pins his tie to a nearby counter
• Swordfights with a trained fencer, eventually switching to broadswords, where Bond draws first blood from the torso
• Stealthily dispatches a guard with a pistol whip

Gunfighting/Accuracy

• Shoots a cage holding many barrels, causing them to fall on a room full of gunmen
• Kills at least 8 men with a submachine gun in a short timeframe
• Turns around and shoots a gunman before he can kill his hostage. Note that Bond turns and fires right after the gunman receives orders to kill the hostage.
• Kills Onatopp by using her gun to shoot at a helicopter, causing it to crash and pull her into a tree
• Kills two men in a hallway with his Walther
• Disarms a former double-oh agent, then tosses him down stairs and fires on him with his own gun
• Spots a sneaking soldier dressed in black and kills him with a rifle
• Dual wields a rifle and a silenced handgun to clear a room of gunmen. He also makes use of a mounted missile launcher against groups of enemies.
• Fires on a guard before the guard can fire his weapon
• Shoots a gunman through a wooden floor
• Uses a human shield to block bullets, then returns fire, killing a gunman
• From a speeding hovercraft, Bond fires a submachine gun at a control panel to slam the doors shut
• From a speeding hovercraft, Bond hits small land mines to detonate them on his pursuers
• Uses a pistol to shoot a chandelier, causing it to fall on Lao

Athletics

• Performs a HALO jump into water, then immediately begins scuba diving
• Evades grenades and gunfire while skiing
• While skiing, Bond suddenly stops before a cliff, tricking a pursuer into falling off
• Performs a dive into a river from the third floor of a mansion
• Swims outside of a submarine, scaling the surface until he can re-enter the vessel on the other side. He had to hold his breath for almost two minutes while scaling the outside of the submarine.
• Infiltrates North Korea by simply surfing onto the coast of the country
• Parasurfs off a collapsing iceberg

Other

• Drives off a cliff on a motorbike, catches up to a falling plane in midair, then pilots the plane back into the sky
• When restrained, Bond uses his head to start a helicopter, then uses his head again to hit the eject button
• Drifts a tank, then drives through a building to cause untold property damage
  • Destroys a monument with the tank too, because why not
• While being choked, he uses the ejector seat on a fighter jet to fire an enemy soldier into an enemy fighter jet
• Along with another secret agent, Bond descends a skyscraper with a long banner, then kicks in a window to reenter the building
• Descends a tall building with some rope and an unconscious body
• Lowers his heart rate to trick medical staff and an EKG, then dispatches the staff and escapes the hospital
• Starts a helicopter in midair and lands safely

Arsenal

Weapons

• Sidearms include
  • Walther PPK with suppressor functionality
  • Walther P99
  • Smith & Wesson Model 10 HB
• A grenade disguised as a ballpoint pen
  • By tossing the grenade pen into a pool of fuel, an explosion and destructive fire is formed
• A grenade disguised as a lighter
• A combat knife
• A flashbang explosive disguised as a handgun, used to stun three gunmen, allowing Bond to dispatch them

Gadgets

• Bungee jumps off a dam, then uses a grapnel gun to safely pull himself closer to ground level
  • Uses a laser device to carve through metal, seemingly attached to the grapnel gun
• A small camera with a powerful zoom function. It can print the pictures when plugged into his car.
• A belt with a hidden high-tensile cord, enough to support Bond’s own weight
  • Using the belt cord, Bond swings Spider-Man-style across a room and out a window
• Sunglasses with built in X-ray vision, allowing Bond to detect concealed weapons and see through women’s clothing
• A jacket that contains an inflatable protective bubble, used to protect Bond and another person from a short fall and falling snow
• A lockpick disguised as a credit card
• A rebreather device
• Surprisingly low-tech wire cutters

Watches

• Laser emitter hidden in his watch, used to carve through the floor of a train
• A powerful flashlight built into a watch
• A small but powerful grappling hook built into his watch, able to lift him up to a high ceiling by attaching to a metal girder
• A small C4 detonator, controlled by a button on his watch
  • Turning a knob on his watch lets him activate the detonator

Cell Phone

• A cell phone that acts as a fingerprint scanner, a powerful taser and as a remote control for the BMW
  • Uses the taser device to fry an electric lock
  • Tricks an assassin into tasing himself with the cell phone
  • The fingerprint scanner quickly bypasses an electronic fingerprint lock by replicating the last fingerprint on the lock
  • The cell phone also holds a small lockpick

Pulse Ring

• A ring used to shatter unbreakable glass with a high-frequency pulse
• The ring is used to shatter a glass floor, allowing Bond to escape gunpoint
• The ring can be used to destroy the Vanish’s windshield, which is bulletproof

Vehicles

BMWs
General

• A BMW with machine guns, GPS tracking system, a remote control system and a voiced computer
• Bond pops the back window, then jumps in to drive himself away with the cell phone remote controller

Durability

• Windows resistant to sledgehammers
• A body resistant to gunfire
• Automatically re-inflatable tires

Armaments

• The BMW has an electric security system to deter intruders
• The BMW can release stun gas from the sides
• Small missiles can be fired from the top of the vehicle to destroy obstacles
• Caltrops to destroy tires
• An extremely situational tool, a small buzzsaw to cut wire

Other Models

• He drives BMWs modified by Q to carry weapons and gadgets
• A different self-driving model of BMW
  • Equipped with guided missile system

Speedboat

• A small speedboat with afterburners
  • An armored body, resistant to mounted gunfire
  • Limited diving capabilities
  • Equipped with dual homing torpedoes
  • Can even drive on land for a limited time with use of the afterburners

The Vanish

• The Q-modified Aston Vanquish, a high-tech, light-bending sports car, invisible to the naked eye
  • The Vanish does appear on thermal imaging, however
• Target-seeking shotguns on the hood
  • The automatic shotguns can intercept missiles before they hit the Vanish
• Resistant to bullets, although they disrupt the adaptive camouflage
• It’s flipped over by a rocket, but with clever use of the sunroof and ejector seat, Bond can flip the car back over
• It uses tire spikes to maintain traction, allowing it to drive on ice unimpeded

Miscellaneous

• M believes that if there’s any chance of success at all, then Bond will succeed, admitting that he’s the best agent in MI6
• He will absolutely kill women he’d loved in the past
• All those vodka martinis have left him with a less than perfect liver
• Once carried cyanide if he were ever captured, but Bond threw it away years ago
• He keeps his weapons in good condition

Demographic:

• Canadian citizen
• Indigenous + white
• International feeder school (at least 3% of graduating class going to an Ivy, probably 15% at T25)
• Hooks: URM, LGBTQ+, feeder school, unique sport?
• Anti-hooks: International, test optional, need aid… 🚩

Stats:

• IB Diploma
• Predicted 7s in History SL, Bio HL, Theatre HL, Math AA SL. Predicted 6/7 in French & English A HL
• 40-42/42
• Test optional😐

Major Applying For:
Was going to do comp lit but will probably apply for sociology/pre-law or pre-med (Native American studies for Dartmouth)
Extracurricular Activities:

1. Trained for and completed 6k open water swim (in the ocean!!) to raise money for international cause, student coordinator (11, lots of time)
   
2. Niche water sport, leader, competed in my first year, trying out for national team this fall (11, 12) 🐍
   
3. School literary magazine, leader next year (11, 12)
   
4. Writing, performed some poetry, published (paid) in a newspaper (9-12)
   
5. Varsity Soccer, some regional awards (9, 10)
   
6. Piano, RCM level 7, level 6 for theory (9, 10)
   
7. Tutoring, paid + volunteer (9-12)
   
8. Gymnastics coach, 2 months, volunteer (10)
   
9. JROTC type thing, (9, 10), lots of awards
   
10. Various art, beading, painting…. Probably won’t include anything about this
    

Work:

1. Assistant Technician at Theatre, this was partly volunteer (9-10)
   
2. Soccer Coach, summer, (9-10)
   
3. Archival Assistant, summer, (9)
   
4. Admin Counsellor for Literacy Youth Camp (11)
   

Awards:

• Piano stuff
• Beaverbrook Vimy Prize (competitive)
• Soccer awards, top volunteer type stuff
• Top 5 average (10)
• Musicianship (10)
• JROTC stuff (9, 10)
• Paddling stuff (1st place at a couple of things w team + duo)
• Brain Bee regionals 2nd place
• Slam Poetry regionals 1st place (w team)

Summer Activities:

• three week neuroscience camp (not that prestigious but got a scholarship to go) (10)

Letter of Recs + Essays:
One from my English teachehouse parent/CAS supervisor: we have a great relationship so will be 10/10
Unsure about second
I’ve been called a strong writer but that doesn’t mean shit🤑
Goal schools:
Deep Springs (dream) Dartmouth (might apply for IFI??) Princeton Either Brown or Stanford (or maybe Cornell for my sport)
Aid is complicated cause there’s a third party I get guaranteed scholarships from for the above schools… and the schools know that☝🏼
Safeties (in Canada):
UBC, UVic, Carleton U, U of King’s College

He had expected this sooner rather than later, and it hurt to see.
He knew it wasn't going to work.
The Galactic Assembly was full of aliens, not humans. The things that got humanity's attention were the same sort of things that tended to scare the GA.
But of course, the average human couldn't have known that, and with their tendency to change creatures around them to become more human, the aliens with which they worked didn't see it either.
They were doing the right thing, but going about it the wrong way.
Still, that didn't stop his feelings of sadness and empathy for their plight.
Walking with Sunny, standing on the buddy pegs attached to her back, and examining the protest encampment around him, he couldn't help but be impressed by their bravery.
He knew for a fact that if he was in their shoes, he would be way more likely to hide, lie to everyone around him, and even himself.
But here they were out in the open, a shining beacon of defiance against the GA.
It was a difficult situation, of course he supported the GA wholeheartedly, and he always would, and with that support came an understanding.
But that didn't mean that he had to agree with them.
They were scared.
And people tend to lash out at things that scare them.
As it turns out, that seemed to be a common factor across the galaxy.
He reached down, hand caressing the tear gas canisters at his belt and the accompanying gas mask. He prayed, just PRAYED that he wouldn't have to use them, but how was he to know what would happen. When people got righteously angry about something they tended to act up, and when thrown into a group of like-minded people, the pack mentality was overwhelming.
He wanted everything to go well, he wanted them to make their point, to prove that they were the moral superiors, demonstrate to the GA that they weren't militant, and all they wanted was peace.
That was the sort of thing that would get across to the GA.
But with humans involved... He didn't really have much hope.
He glanced around at the assembled tents, looking for any sign of trouble.
He didn't see much, just the limp white flags, with the LFIL logo printed proudly on their front.
Still keeping an eye on his surroundings, he leaned against one of Sunny's shoulders.
"So, what do you think about this whole thing?"
Sunny turned her head to look at him, gold eyes and blue carapace glittering with the yellow sheen of the Rundi sky.
She shrugged, setting him a little off balance. She grabbed his feet to steady him as she continued up a small incline.
"It doesn't bother me, and I suppose I understand them."
"Oh?"
"Imagine finding someone you connect with, someone who understands you more than anyone ever has. Imagine a Drev finding the greatest warrior in the galaxy, and then... Just having to suffer knowing you can never be with them. Granted none of the other species ever would have considered it an option without the humans, but now.... It makes sense. You connect with someone well enough, then beyond that there isn't much you can do. And now the GA has prohibited that."
"I agree with you completely, but let me play devil's advocate for a moment. They aren't even the same species, without the same genetics. It wouldn't be physically possible to produce a viable offspring wouldn’t it?”
She turned her head to look at him.
"And how does it work for your brother David and his husband Jordan?"
He laughed,
"Ok, ok, poor question."
"Adoption is a relevant option. Plus, this is coming from the guy who lent his DNA to some alien."
"Arguably she stole it, but I get your point."
They turned another corner scanning the crowd,
"Hear me out though. Humans are... Well, you know how humans are. They need... uhhm uhhh you know…”
Adam got a little red,
”…Affection and intimacy... How does that even... Work?"
"Oh, I am sure some human has found a way, besides, humans and Drev aren't so different in that regard..."
He tilted his head to look at her,
"How the hell do you know that?”
"Got into a discussion with Krill. He thinks it's possible, though he would never tell you humans. He already thinks you do a ton of stupid stuff anyway."
”Oh really what is he expecting? I don’t think anyone from our crew would jump at the opportunity to do it with a Drev be it man or woman… Besides with all these tall as hell Drev males, human women wouldn’t have much fun either would they?”
”Considering males who would be interested, aren’t you good friends with Ramirez? Why don’t you ask him, maybe he knows someone?”
”Okay damn fair point… but the female argument still stays.”
”Krill did some research, I swear I never saw him so… done with humans. He looked like he would drink away his sorrow to forget everything… if his body could tolerate alcohol.”
”So what did he find out about this time?”
”After another particularly massive aggressive rant about how and I quote “shitting freaking goddamn incredibly punk-ass weird” you humans are, he said some weird words in a context I didn’t understand. So, do you know what a dragon is and can you tell me why it is so bad?”
”Hmm what… wait a second…”
”…”
”Oh shit…”
”So?”
"So uhmmm uhhh, let’s stop with humans and talk about Drev again okay? Don't you Drev guys also have a mating season?”*
"We did, but it was actually based on the magnetic fluctuation of our planet in time with the seasons. Now that we don't have that anymore, things are out of whack."
"Huh, I didn't know that."
"You never asked."
"Because that is a totally normal thing to ask someone. Hello, my name is Adam, and I am actually very curious about how... That stuff... works on your planet."
"That stuff, huh?"
He rolled his eyes,
"I was sheltered ok, give me a break."
They came to a stop at a crossroads, and Adam stepped down from her back and onto the dirt, tilting his head to listen, trying to detect any signs of a disturbance.
As of yet there was nothing.
He turned to the left, down another line of tents, passing into a more populated area of the protest encampment.
People wearing specially made clothing, with the LFIL logo, shirts, scarves, bandannas, jackets, hats etc. etc. walked about, openly with their alien companions, a few even brave enough to show overt affection towards each other.
A human hugging a Tesraki, while another stood on a box to kiss the cheek of their Drev partner.
"Now that, is something I couldn't do."
He said to Sunny, as they walked past.
"Kiss someone?"
"No, Kiss someone three to four feet taller than me. Way too much work."
"How do you know, maybe climbing up three feet would be worth it?”
Eyes followed them nervously as they walked past, their riot gear marking them as “the enemy”.
"I would rather not be in danger of twisting my ankle every time I wanted to show someone affection, thanks."
"You twist your ankle all the time anyway."
"That's my point. If I twist my ankle now, imagine what would happen if I had to do acrobatics on a regular basis."
They came to a halt as a group of protesters paraded in front of them holding up picket signs.
One of the protesters turned to glare at him,
"We aren't doing anything illegal!”
Adam held up his hands,
"I know. I'm just security to make sure no one gets hurt.”
The other human didn't seem convinced, angrily grabbing their alien companion around the waist before marching off.
The Tesraki looked uncomfortable, looking back at them apologetically.
Though Tesraki were generally cutthroat businessmen, they tended towards extreme submissiveness in relationships with humans.
Adam stepped through the gap left by the protesters and continued walking.
As they did, they early ran into a group of kids selling little white flags and bandannas.
They pulled to a halt, eyes widening in surprise and shock.
A young Tesraki pulled to a halt with them looking as if he was about to panic and run off.
However, the kid at the front's eyes widened and a big smile crossed his face,
“Holy shit! You, I know you!"
Adam smiled,
"You do now?"
"Yeah , yeah you're in that movie. You, you command the UNSC fleet."
For some reason, that exclamation calmed the other kids, and they squealed, shouting and asking for a picture. Of course, he was happy to oblige, posing with them for their pictures. Sunny stood to the side, happy to watch though she was dragged in for the next set of pictures once they realized who she was.
"What are you doing here?"
One of them asked, glancing down at his clothing. When she saw what he was wearing her smile was falling,
"You... aren't here to stop us, are you?"
Adam shook his head,
"No, of course not, protesting isn't illegal."
He motioned to Sunny with his other hand,
"Sunny and I are just here to make sure that you guys stay safe, and that no one gets hurt.”
Sunny nodded. One of the more skeptical looking teens looked up at him,
"How do we know you aren't here to stop us. You work for the GA after all."
Adam shrugged,
"I don't have much else to prove, other than my word."
The skeptic looked at them, a wicked smile appearing on her face,
"I know."
She reached into her cart and pulled out one of the bandannas,
"Wear this!”
It was clear she expected him to balk at the idea, but to her surprise, he smiled,
"Alright, sounds reasonable."
He held out his arm, and watched, still smiling as she tied it around his upper arm still glowering at him skeptically,
"Think you can spare one for my big friend?"
He patted Sunny on the arm.
That broke her skepticism, and she smiled openly, handing a second one over to him, which he tied around one of Sunny's upper arms.
He waved a goodbye to them, and stepped back up onto Sunny's back, walking away with her.
"That was nice of you."
He shrugged,
”Not really. I honestly agree with them. The GA has no right to tell them who they can and cannot be with. I know they have some reasons, but I feel like there is a better way of dealing with it."
Sunny hummed deep in her throat,
"Uh-huh, or you really just want a really tall girlfriend."
He sighed,
"Honestly I'd settle for any size girlfriend if I could just talk to her like a normal person without sticking my foot in my mouth. No Maverick and Dr. Katie do not count…"
"Your incompetence with women is acrobatic."
"I'm glad you're impressed.”
Together, they continued their slow circle around the encampment, drawing suspicious and confused eyes as they went. Sometimes they were recognized, and occasionally people would ask to take pictures with them, other times, they just wanted to talk.
The variety of people was... astounding.
A barely five foot human with a nine foot Drev.
A group of humans and a group of Tesraki.
A lawyer and a Finnari.
Two couples both as business partners with a Tesraki half.
They were young and old male-female, in all different pairings.
Old soldiers, and young students.
It was honestly quite stunning.
At one point they stopped off for water and ran into a massive bodybuilder with his Drev girlfriend, whose carapace at any other time would have marked her as ugly for a Drev.
At first Sunny felt bad for her, with her muddy brown carapace, mat without any shine.
The man turned and handed Adam some water.
”Here better stay hydrated brother!”
Adam raised the bottle,
"Thanks."
The man looked him over, eyeing the bandanna around his arm.
"Interesting accessories for a GA affiliate."
"You can work for someone and disagree with them."
The man laughed,
"I suppose that's true."
He greeted Sunny as well, who was trying not to stare at the other female Drev for too long, lest it seem like she was staring.
He motioned to the arm band,
"Supporter, or-"
His eyes flicked between Adam and Sunny.
"We're just here to make sure everyone stays safe."
Off to the side the mat Drev looked at Sunny,
"I'm sorry."
Sunny glanced over at her nervously,
"Sorry for what?"
"You must have been treated very poorly on Anum."
Sunny shuffled her feet awkwardly,
"I was alright I guess..."
"Regardless. I hope things work out for you. The Drev beauty standards are unfair, and things need to change."
Sunny wasn't entirely sure how she was supposed to feel about that.
"They aren't so bad."
She ventured defensively.
"Then I am sure you are getting combat offers left and right with your coloring.”
Sunny went quiet again. She would have said this was passive aggressive, but the Drev didn't do passive aggressive, so was this just an open statement about how ugly she was? If that was the case, it kind of hurt.
"I have, because I am an experienced warrior."
Her voice was cold.
"Oh, so where is your partner?"
"I turned them down."
That seemed to surprise the female Drev.
Sunny felt her fists clench, but Adam placed a hand on her arm. She was quiet,
The two humans exchanged a look, the way that only humans can, speaking without actually saying anything.
”C’mon babe, lets look a little bit around and let these two be… It was nice meeting you brother! Also… good luck man…”
The human bodybuilder turned around, taking the Drev by one of her hands to lead her away.
Adam took Sunny by the arm and raised his water at the man,
"Uhm what? Huh anyway, good luck to you too?"
Before turning to walk away, the other Drev cut in at the last second.
"I hope you find a worthy battle partner."
Adam Squeezed Sunny's arm tighter, but she turned her head anyway snapping,
"I already have."
Before marching off without another word.
Adam was forced to scamper after her, his legs much shorter.
"Wow, wow, hold your horses!”
She finally slowed to a stop, still fuming.
"Who the hell does she think she is!?”
"Sunny-."
"Calling me ugly to my face!"
"Sunny-"
"I should have challenged her to a duel right then and there!"
"Sunny!?”*
She turned to look at him,
"What!?"
He climbed back up on her back, patting her shoulder,
"She was obviously just insecure and jealous. I mean come on, look at you, blue is the rarest color in the galaxy and most attractive for a Drev, and we all know that height is the least important attribute of Drev beauty standards. The better you can fight, the more you make up for it, besides it's not her fault that she can't accept someone as being valid unless they are in a pair."
Sunny grunted. He frowned,
"Speaking of which, coming from her it seems like a double standard. You fight with me, and I'm fucking awesome, so by default you have to be too."
"Wow Adam, you really know how to make a person feel better."
"I know."
[…]
They were crossing back to the other side of the encampment, when they ran into some familiar faces.
Ramirez and Maverick appeared from the crowd, waving the two of them down with greeting hands.
They pulled to a stop, and the commander motioned to the white bandanna on Ramirez's arm,
"Nice accessories."
"I like yours too."
"I didn't know you were a supporter?”
Ramirez laughed,
"Man I am a supporter of whatever the hell people want to do with themselves."
Off to his side Maverick had tied one of the white bandannas to her belt.
"And you?”
"Personally, I don't give a shit. I don't even think it should be an issue, but by banning it, the GA created a problem for themselves and took away the freedom of choice for these people. Even if I did disagree with what they are doing, I would still support their ability to make that choice for themselves."
She tugged on the bandanna,
"But hey, would I be wearing this otherwise?”
The commander nodded his head, surprised and pleased at his men for being so open minded, though he supposed it should make sense. They worked with aliens every day. Where others might have fostered a sense of fear based on unfamiliarity, they had experience.
"Let’s just hope this all goes over well tomorrow. I don't want to have to use any of this."
He motioned down to his gear.
The commander sighed.
"Isn't that like the catch 22 thing?”
Loyal to one side.
Sympathetic to the other.
Empathetic to both.
He would be relieved when it was finally fixed.
Though how he could help was beyond him.
[...]
"Please everyone, calm yourselves. The Galactic Assembly is addressing the issue as we speak."
The crowd roiled and churned like the bubbles in a pot of boiling water. Flags waved and voices rose high into the air.
The chanting increased in fervor.
"Please!"
The Rundi struggled to raise his voice high enough to be heard over the crowd, who only grew with strength and intensity.
Commander Vir keyed his mic,
"Delta units to the GA side of the crowd, some of these protesters are looking extremely agitated. Let's make sure they don't do anything we're all going to regret.”
He stood with his back to the GA chambers, its wide arching courtyard devoid of life, except for those unfortunate Rundi ordered to carry messages from one side of the compound to the other, otherwise they tried to keep their distance from the front facade of the building and the churning mass of protesters.
White flags waved and fluttered.
Commander Vir held the energy shield with one arm, pressing it back firmly against the crowd, so they could not pass the dedicated marking point.
"Commander, the crowd over here is getting violent."
He grimaced and reached a hand down to open the line,
"Stun them and let them calm down, do NOT catch anyone else in the crossfire. We do not want this escalating."
"Yes sir."
Something pushed against his shield and he grunted, pushing back.
The white bandanna on his arm was pressed against the clear blue force field and helped to at least confuse the crowd before them.
And luckily, they would be kept too confused to get violent.
The aliens among the human protesters helped as well.
If this was on earth, things would have broken out into a riot by now, but the Drev the Tesraki and the Finnari tended to be more levelheaded when it came to these kinds of things, and they managed to reign in their humans from doing something stupid.
He closed his eyes tight for a second, praying that the GA would rethink their position.
It hurt him to watch these people struggle like this.
It just felt so strange that anyone should be here in the first place.
Beside him, Sunny had taken control of two young humans who were getting a bit more than rowdy,
"Let’s keep this a protest, and not a riot."
She growled, giving them a look that would have made anyone quell in their boots. It sort of made him half smile, Sunny was such a badass, he wanted to be more like her when he eventually grew up.
His thoughts were cut off, as the crowd churned a bit, pressing into his shield.
He keyed his mic again, prepared to go over the loudspeaker and tell them that if they didn't calm down he was going to turn this protest into a mass nap time.
He had the power to do that if things got out of hand, though he honestly didn't want to.
The GA needed to see this.
He was so preoccupied with the crowd, that he barely noticed as the Rundi ran up from the inside of the compound, flying forward on its long spindly legs.
It stopped by the first Rundi to say something, and the conversation that passed between them didn't look particularly encouraging.
HIs heart sank into his stomach.
He felt... Surprisingly disappointed, very sad for all those people who were going to get their day ruined.
The Rundi waffled around at the front of the crowd for a bit before turning and looking over to where he stood.
Oh great.
The Rundi walked over, and he backed off from the crowd, allowing Sunny to take a step in his place with her shield at the ready.
The people looked as if they were about to start something, but seeing her expression, they decided not to.
He dropped his shield and lowered his head to hear the Rundi over the roaring of the crowd.
"The GA is not budging."
The Rundi whispered,
"They are asking the protesters to leave."
Adam growled in frustration.
Behind him someone in the crowd pointed at him,
"They're saying no aren't they!?”
Others took up the call, and soon enough the rest of the crowd had been alerted. Adam was forced to run back to support Sunny, as everything suddenly grew more intense.
Fights were breaking out on the left and the right.
People were hitting the ground as the guards were forced to stun them.
That only agitated the rest of the crowd who also began to buck and fight.
Adam keyed the mic for real this time, filling the intervening space with his booming voice,
”ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW OR I WILL STUN YOU ALL."
The aggression in the crowd died down, though the anger remained sizzling at the surface.
Overhead clouds passed over the sun, before him the crowd roared like a wave, and behind him the GA council chambers were as silent as a ghost town.
"LISTEN, QUIET DOWN ALL OF YOU."
It sort of felt as if he was floating.
The world around him hardly seemed real though that was not the best way to explain it.
The crowd died down a bit,
"You may not understand this! And I have said it before, but these are not humans. Protests don't work on them. When they see a group of angry humans, they get scared and when they get scared, they double down even further. I know it does not make any sense to you NOT to protest for what you believe in, but if you are going to do this, you MUST remain civil. Even now the GA is frightened by you. They don't believe you are rational, and they are not going to listen to you if this keeps up."
The crowd had quieted down to a milling sort of confusion.
"Then what should we do!"*
The shouting came from somewhere and in anger, though he couldn't pinpoint the source.
In frustration he nudged Sunny, and she allowed him to climb on her back as he had before.
The crowd could see him now, and he could see them for the most part.
He waved them down trying to cut off the others who had taken up the chant.
"I understand what you are trying to do, and I support your efforts, but you are only hurting ourselves. The GA can only be won by rational discussion."
"The GA won't see any of our representatives. They are debating only on their own facts and opinions."
One of the crowd's people snarled. The call was echoed and Adam stared at them in shock,
"Wait what!? Are you serious?”
There was a muttering throughout the crowd.
"For fuck's sake."
He muttered under his breath,
"The Rudi think none of us are high ranking enough to be allowed into the council chambers, and none of the representatives will take up our cause. The human ambassador thinks we are disgusting, so she won't do anything and says she won’t represent our minority."
The muttering through the crowd grew louder.
Adam looked around, head turning to see all the angry faces, blushed with red, or streaked with tears.
These people were frustrated, and hurt, and he understood why.
This wasn't right!
He closed his eyes again and took another deep breath.
What was he thinking!?
He stepped down from Sunny's back and walked over to one of the protestors in the front row, pointing to his large flag on a pole that was about eight feet tall.
"May I borrow your flag?"
The protester stared on at him in confusion,
"What, why?"
"Because, I am going to give you the representative you need."
[…]
Commander Vir and Sunny walked alone down the length of the GA outer courtyard.
A billowing white flag streamed lazily over his head, suspended there by way of the pole which rested heavily on his shoulder. The white of the fabric had been marred now by many colors as hundreds of rushed signatures had been scrawled on its face.
He was armed with the backing of a thousand protesters, a hundred signatures, and more than a few dozen stories.
Sunny turned her head to look at him, and he fancied that maybe he saw an expression of pride in her eyes, though she didn't say much except,
"Pretty brave."
He didn't feel very brave, and as they walked through the front doors of the GA atrium, his hand was shaking against the cold metal of the flagpole.
He was stopped by a pair of Rundi guards on his way into the chamber, but was let in after they recognized who he was.
He could hear voices up ahead, and the sounds of the protest going on outside had all but died away,
"They have proven that they cannot be civil, and based on the humanizing effect, we can assume they will do similar things to any non-human lifeform that they encounter."
"I may not agree with their decision counselor, but that sounds like your prejudice against humans is seeping through."
There was an uproar in the council chamber.
He paused for a moment, staying with Sunny just out of line of sight and took a deep breath.
She lay a hand on his shoulder.
"Here goes nothing."
He muttered, before stepping his way out onto the GA floor.
At first no one noticed his presence as he made his slow way into the center of the circle, but his large, white flag soon changed that.
The council chambers went silent.
The chairwoman stood,
"Commander, what are you doing here. Shouldn't you be taking care of the protesters?”
His lips drew into a thing line,
"With all due respect councilwoman, I am."
He rammed the flagpole against the stone, sending a loud cracking sound out and around the wide atrium silencing the council,
"I have been made aware that you refuse to see their representatives based on a ranking issue, well I assume my rank is high enough."
The Human rep leaned forward,
"Commander, this is not your place!”
He shot her a look,
"Then whose place is it counselor? I heard a certain democratic counselor refuses to speak for them because they are and I quote “a too small and insignificant minority”…”
He turned his head in a wide arc at the watching crowd,
"Counselors, you have known me, longer than you have known any human currently in this galaxy. You understand that I know your rules and your customs. You understand that I have only ever striven to protect and uphold the GA and the planet's it encompasses. I have thwarted wars, signed treaties, and broken my own body for your best interests."
There was silence about the room.
"Will you let me speak now, with the understanding that my loyalty has never wavered from you, and never will?”
The silence continued.
Aliens understood the power of human loyalty.
Or at least they should…
The chairwoman took a seat,
"Very well, commander."
He lifted his head, feeling his heart slow as he took a few deep breaths. There was a muscle in his face that had begun to twitch, like it always did if he was extremely angry or nervous, but he held it down,
"I understand you are frightened, and I understand that you are confused, but I want you to know first of all that those people outside are good average people. They don't mean you any harm. They are hurting, and they are afraid for themselves, and they are trying to get your attention. Historically, humanity has used protests to right the injustices of government to combat prejudices brought on by one's sex or the color of their skin. You must understand that they see this as an impingement on their happiness and a decision made out of line."
There was a murmur around the room.
"So, I ask you now, that I may, perhaps, answer your questions and ease your worries. Why are you so against them?"
"It's unnatural."
It was the Bran representative that had spoken, and he did it quite emphatically.
"Why?"
The commander asked,
"Because they aren't even the same species."
"So?"
The Bran seemed caught off guard,
"They... It's not natural. They can't reproduce, so it isn't... A thing that should be done."
The commander shrugged,
"So if one can't reproduce then they aren't natural? I see a couple issues in that logic relating to prejudices against people with infertility."
There was a murmur around the room.
"So, they can't reproduce, so what? You know who we can reproduce with though... Adaptids."
There was a sort of hushed exclamation form around the room.
The commander shrugged,
"They can't have kids.... Hardly a good enough argument to bring to the floor of a government discussion."
"What he is trying to say is that this practice equates itself to bestiality. It is utterly disguting!"
It was the human representative this time, and she stared at him with her eyes narrowed in anger.
He kept his cool, though he very much did not like her.
"That is absolutely disgusting and wildly insulting of you because that implies that one or both parties are no better than animals, beasts as you will."
The room was silent,
"So which one is it, are humans animals, counselor, are the Finnari or the Rundi animals?"
He turned to the Drev counselor,
"Are the Drev just dumb animals that have no understanding, and no decision making abilities?”
The Drev representative stood, angrily cracking his spear against the stone,
"We are most certainly not!"
The commander held up his hands,
"Then what is so bestial about it? Bestiality is absolutely disgusting because you are taking advantages of a creature that can neither understand nor protect itself from what you are doing. It cannot say yes, and it cannot say no. It has no greater understanding than that of a child, and so cannot make its own decisions."
He looked towards the Finnari representative,
"Tell me counselor, is your species a species of children, with no greater concept of their own decision making?”
"Of course not. Why would you even imply such a thing!?”
"I imply nothing, counselor. This is what YOU imply with your decision. So far we have established that all parties are intelligent consenting creatures, and none of you have managed to give me an actually good reason for banning the practice."
The floor was growing more agitated.
"They will be a poor example for the rest of the galaxy. If we make it legal others will surely follow."
Adam turned his eyes on the speaker, an Iotin,
"You're worried that they are going to turn the rest of the galaxy extrial?"
He laughed,
"That is a poor argument which is not only selfish, but foolish. People should be allowed to make their own decisions. And assuming you are right, what then? Oh no... There are a few more extrials... And it does... What exactly?"
He turned in a wide circle,
"If you are worried about population growth or in this case population falloff due to this issue then you should be reminded that extrials comprise a percentage of the human population so small that I could fit the greater majority of them on my ship comfortably. This occurrence is not common, and even if the numbers were to rise, it would not be of enough significance to cause issues."
His heart was hammering hard inside his chest. He felt like he was doing alright, but that might mean nothing.
"In any event, these relationships do not affect the vast majority of the galaxy. Humans cannot be with the Bran or the Rundi due to the water we shed from our skin. The Gromm and the Iotins are out for similar reasons. Vrul and Gibb are incapable of having feelings for humans in that way as far as we know, and both the Tvek and the Celzex are too different from humans for either party to be interested."
He walked around in a circle, allowing the flag to trail behind him,
"Furthermore, the humanization phenomenon happens with or without romantic intent, and as it is, its mention is more a mark of prejudice on humans than it is an argument against the two groups being together."
He left the floor open for a little while, as the council muttered with each other.
Finally, the Drev representative stood,
"My species culture and our way of life has been upturned by the GA. I fear relationships with humans will result in the loss of our culture. We have already strayed far from what we originally were. We are hardly recognizable as Drev anymore."
The commander let his voice soften,
"I understand that the Drev have lost a lot in joining this..."
Sunny held up a hand, and in surprise he was cut off.
She took the floor,
"Your Glory…"
She said bowing her head,
"If you would have truly upheld those ideals, you would not be sitting on this council."
The Drev pulled back in surprise at her words,
"Yes, we lost a lot in joining the GA, and after the war, but I would argue that some of that was for good. Before the GA people like me, with perceived imperfection were cast into the fire and perceived as no better than animals. This practice still takes place on our planet, where these traditions are still alive and well."
Her words made the room shift nervously,
"However, culture changes and adapts, and it must to survive. We changed in order to live among the GA. We found other alternatives to fighting that still maintain our honor and our prowess in war, and this includes the sports that the humans have brought to us. Furthermore, the vast majority of the Drev I see who are with humans are those of us who would not be accepted by our own kind, perceived as ugly or malformed. If this is the case then your traditions remain sound, and those like me are removed from the mating population."
The counselor almost looked ashamed at her words, turning his head away so as not to look her in the eyes.
"As far as a change of culture goes, it was bound to happen, and it seems you are more worried about change than you actually are about relationships."
She went quiet, and Adam nodded to her taking the floor again.
A Finnari counselor stood,
"I am simply worried about our birth rate. The Finnari were farmed by the Gnarlak for many years, and we are only now replenishing our population."
"I don't think you need to worry. The amount of relationships is so small that it will not affect the Finnari population in any significant manner."
The chairwoman stood,
"Your arguments have been heard commander, but, what the others do not mention is the issue of disease. We have seen a great increase of human transmitted illnesses."
"I hate to cut you off chairwoman, but that is NOT related to interspecies relationships, it has another explanation: human tourism."
"Explain."
"You all know that humans are not allowed to leave their planet, unless tested for all communicable non-treatable diseases. This means that those of us that you see here cannot physically pass our diseases off onto other people. In this case these issues did not stem from relationships at all, but poor vaccination, the poor regulation of tourism, and allowing aliens to travel onto earth where infected humans are located, not testing them as they leave. You see? You don't even have problems with them, but you are using them as a real scapegoat for the actual issues. In fact you are causing more problems by banning this! The more you push, the harder they will push back, eventually someone is going to get hurt. Also since they are not allowed to be together legally, they do it illegally, and because they do it illegally, they end up in dangerous places exposed to greater rates of crime. They get hurt, and they get involved in things they would otherwise not have gotten involved in if you had not banned it. Just look at Noctoplis. It has the highest rate of extrials living there and the lowest policing force and the most corrupted system. There are no legitimate jobs there, so we see an influx of crime by desperate people who won't be accepted anywhere else. Not to mention that it increased the depression rates, which increases suicide rates. Your laws have ostracized them, forced them to become criminals, and turned many of them to killing themselves, rather than living in a world where they are seen as disgusting."
He had to take a deep breath,
"Earth has seen all of this before, and one way or another, eventually someone will see what I am trying to say."
He rested the flag on the floor beside him, feet planted at shoulder width.
"I hope that this rational conversation will allow a more open mind on the council. I encourage you to talk to their representatives. They are more rational and educated than I am, and they can give you hard facts and statistics. But please, they don't want to cause trouble, if you allow them to do as they will, you might find these problems going away for you."
The human representative clearly did not seem convinced, but he didn't expect to convince her, he expected to convince the others who were more afraid than they were prejudiced.
"It seems as if we have some other potential policies to discuss, commander."
The chairwoman said, tapping her fingers on the table before her.
"I have a suggestion, ma'am."
"And that is?"
"A temporary revocation on the ban, that way you can SEE what the universe will be like without it, and you can judge for yourself whether The ban does any good. You don't have to overturn the law just yet, but temporarily suspend it, that way you can re institute at any time. Then you will have concrete proof. You can do testing, and polls and whatever else, then you would know for sure."
His suggestion turned into a discussion, that dragged on for many minutes before the chairwoman raised her hand,
"It has been decided, all in favor of this temporary proposal please indicate."
The voting lights flashed above them.
[…]
He walked from the venue, hours after he had entered.
The flag felt heavy in his hands, his boots thudded with exhaustion on the white marble below him.
Outside, the protest field was surprisingly silent, though he could still see their flags.
As he walked closer, he could see that the crowd was sitting down.
Their voices reached him from a distance at first, until he realized they were calmly singing with each other.
Waiting...
Suddenly the first people from the crowd noticed the two silhouettes coming from the chambers towards them.
A lone man and Drev, walking from the building.
The man was wearing riot gear, a full helmet, a shield, and carrying their flag, resting against his right shoulder.
The group of them began to stand, rising to their feet and yelling.
They quieted as he got closer.
"What did they say!? What did they say!?”
He passed the flag to the original protester who looked on at him with such an expression of pleading that he felt his eyes tingle a bit with rising emotion.
He had to look away, boosting himself onto Sunny's back, keying his mic.
The crowd was silent.
"I spoke to the GA. After a long debate, and a slim majority the GA have decided to temporarily revoke the ban on inter-species relationships until a-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence, drowned out by a powerful wave of noise and joy so overwhelming that he was nearly knocked backwards off his feet.
The crowd surged forward and Sunny staggered as the group surrounded them.
Adam found himself on the ground on his feet, enclosed by hundreds of pairs of arms, as every person tried their best to get one hand on him.
He was deafened by cheering and an outpouring of gratitude so profound he had simply never experienced such emotion.
He looked up at Sunny, pressed in with him by the enthusiastic crowd, she nodded her head in approval.
He grinned, he had to admit this felt pretty good.
Though, whether it was all over was a question for another time.
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