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2012.06.24 04:34 zapff PlantBasedDiet - Whole Food Plant Based Diet subreddit (WFPBD)
Home of the Whole Food Plant Based Diet (WFPB)! A whole-food plant-based, low-fat diet could reverse heart disease and diabetes.
2023.06.02 16:33 dvdmon Can one wake up if they feel relatively content?
There are of course things in my life that I would love to change, that aren't my ideal. I wish I'd done some major things differently. And I don't know exactly what the future will bring. Financially I'm not set, but I'm also not in any kind of desperate situation. And of course no one can predict what will happen with AI, natural disasters, wars, etc. So there is always a chance and something devistating happening that will change my outlook on life.
That being said, though, I see so many accounts both here and in other spaces dedicated to non-duality of people who are really quite unhappy, anxious, depressed, etc. Many of the "teachings" or just suggestions seem to come with almost an assumption that you have some deep unhappiness. As I mentioned, there are certainly things that I would have done differently, wish turned out differently, as well as things around uncertainty that I wished were different, but I wouldn't call myself anxious or depressed. I feel like I've more or less accepted the fact that I don't get to craft my life exactly the way I want, or at least at this point (I'm 54), it's way too late to just start over from scratch, and that I just have to be greatful for the many good things that have happened in my life, especially compared to some, and that I can't control how other people feel or act, neither can I control my fate when it comes to health (outside of rudimentary things I'm already doing - nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, sleep, etc.), or wellbeing, given how unpredictable the world is. At least conceptually that's where I am.
That doesn't mean if something terrible happens I'm suddenly going to be totally equanimous and let it roll off of me like water on a duck's back, I'm sure I'll be quite upset. Part of this quest for me is the idea that I could GET to that place of equanimity, but then I realize that that could just be an escape from things - spiritual bypassing. But I also think understanding my true nature before I die would be pretty damn cool. It certainly apparently can come with some hardships in the process, but seeing reality clearly and not having this background sense of insufficiency, worry, yearning, etc., well, that seems like an attractive thing!
But sometimes I wonder whether my relatively "priveleged" vantage point means that I'm not the right audience for this type of thing. I'm not desperate. I almost liken this to an avid "hobby" for me, that I could theoretically just drop if I needed to. I am not caught up in negative self-talk all the time, I am a relatively positive person. I do find myself desiring things that I don't want to desire, and I do find myself judging others from time to time in way that I do not like. I catch myself doing both, and have an immediate negative reaction, followed by some "corrective" thoughts - such as "this desire is just a conditioning from being human, it doesn't mean anything more than that." Or, "yes, but this person is doing X because of Y, and so for them it totally makes sense as the right thing to do" (even if initially to me it seems stupid/mean/etc.). But other than those occasional "negative" thoughts, I'm generally pretty ok. I can't complain too much.
So bringing this back my initial question, is the idea of awakening "appropriate" for someone like me? Is it something that is not going to happen as long as it's not the most important thing? And are my relatively banal reasons for being interested enough for me to pursue and/or acquire it? Or is simply the idea that I'm already doing this just a sign that it is a process that is happening and will continue to unfold regardless of my own doubts?
It would be nice to hear some perspectives. Thanks!
submitted by dvdmon to nonduality [link] [comments]
That being said, though, I see so many accounts both here and in other spaces dedicated to non-duality of people who are really quite unhappy, anxious, depressed, etc. Many of the "teachings" or just suggestions seem to come with almost an assumption that you have some deep unhappiness. As I mentioned, there are certainly things that I would have done differently, wish turned out differently, as well as things around uncertainty that I wished were different, but I wouldn't call myself anxious or depressed. I feel like I've more or less accepted the fact that I don't get to craft my life exactly the way I want, or at least at this point (I'm 54), it's way too late to just start over from scratch, and that I just have to be greatful for the many good things that have happened in my life, especially compared to some, and that I can't control how other people feel or act, neither can I control my fate when it comes to health (outside of rudimentary things I'm already doing - nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, sleep, etc.), or wellbeing, given how unpredictable the world is. At least conceptually that's where I am.
That doesn't mean if something terrible happens I'm suddenly going to be totally equanimous and let it roll off of me like water on a duck's back, I'm sure I'll be quite upset. Part of this quest for me is the idea that I could GET to that place of equanimity, but then I realize that that could just be an escape from things - spiritual bypassing. But I also think understanding my true nature before I die would be pretty damn cool. It certainly apparently can come with some hardships in the process, but seeing reality clearly and not having this background sense of insufficiency, worry, yearning, etc., well, that seems like an attractive thing!
But sometimes I wonder whether my relatively "priveleged" vantage point means that I'm not the right audience for this type of thing. I'm not desperate. I almost liken this to an avid "hobby" for me, that I could theoretically just drop if I needed to. I am not caught up in negative self-talk all the time, I am a relatively positive person. I do find myself desiring things that I don't want to desire, and I do find myself judging others from time to time in way that I do not like. I catch myself doing both, and have an immediate negative reaction, followed by some "corrective" thoughts - such as "this desire is just a conditioning from being human, it doesn't mean anything more than that." Or, "yes, but this person is doing X because of Y, and so for them it totally makes sense as the right thing to do" (even if initially to me it seems stupid/mean/etc.). But other than those occasional "negative" thoughts, I'm generally pretty ok. I can't complain too much.
So bringing this back my initial question, is the idea of awakening "appropriate" for someone like me? Is it something that is not going to happen as long as it's not the most important thing? And are my relatively banal reasons for being interested enough for me to pursue and/or acquire it? Or is simply the idea that I'm already doing this just a sign that it is a process that is happening and will continue to unfold regardless of my own doubts?
It would be nice to hear some perspectives. Thanks!
2023.06.02 16:21 Ok-Kick832 Hi here is episode six and seven of my Walking With Dinosaurs
Episode 6:
Spirits of The Frozen Forest:
It begins in the Early Jurassic with a cynodont in the darkness at the waters edge when it is eaten a large amphibian the next the day the sun rises awakening ornithischian colony living in the darkness for many months they leave and are grazing on some ferns a herd of Glaciasaurus come to graze and feed together with their symbiotic Dimorphodon buddies. Several panther like cynodonts come out and relax in the summer sun with the ornithischians when they are stalked by a large Cryolophosaurus which manages to kill one Glaciasaurus but nothing else.
The cynodonts are revealed to have a littler of pups which the cynodonts care for and need nutrients for them so the female leaves to find the ornithischian's clans burrows but are scared off when they throw their litter at her the next day a small group of cryolophosaurus young discover the nest and the cynodonts have to move away holding their young in their jaws.
The colonies eggs hatch during the months of darkness and the mothers have to venture out in the dark and the gloom one stops to drink at the waters edge but is killed by an amphibian which was awoken by the chirps. At dawn the group leave to feed with one guarding the burrows and under the cover of darkness they find enough bedding to keep them warm when a pterosaur lets out a warning cry which scares them off the pterosaur then eats the bedding and takes the rest to its chicks. When the sun finally rises a herd of primitive sauropods moves into the area but thanks to their loud noises they interrupt the colony from watching for predators and so a cryolophosaurus kills one and leaves this scares several of the young to the waters edge where the newly awakened water killer attacks and misses with the young being found by their parents and sleep in their burrows safe for now.
Episode 7
New Blood:
The episode begins with a herd of Placerias wading through a large body of water in their desert/ forest home where several are killed by several phytosaurs. The blood pours downstream to a hunting Lilliensternus hunting for lung fish near some trees by a sleeping Desmatosuchus half submerged like a hippo which awakes to the blood and storms off scaring the lungfish. it wiggles its arms in frustration and moves back to its forest home where it comes across a group of hatchling Burolestes (which are noticed as being out of place) and our plucky dinosaur hunts them all apart from one little one that escapes through a tunnel in the ground which was occupied by a small cynodont that has mysteriously left while the dinosaur feasts on the corpses it comes across a pterosaur feasting on some corpses our protagonist kills it chases it away in frustration.
Out in the outskirts of the forest a large corpse with no head or legs or a tail lies in a field of hatching little creatures (that are prosauropods but are only called juveniles) the large corpse in their hatching fields attracts some dinosaurs and the apex predator a female Smok comes and scares the dinosaurs and eats some of the prosauropods but most manage to escape but some are killed by the dinosaurs. A couple years go and the little prosauropods have formed little creche's and are stuck together grazing in a gorge where several cynodonts growl at them menacingly and pterosaurs fly above hunting insects a desmatosuchus sleeping to the side and a Smok coming through the only entrance the prosauropods panic and run towards the Desmatosuchus which while waving its tail kills a prosauropod but also scares the Smok who is content to feast on the carcasses. Several scavenging dinosaurs come across the carrion after the smok is done with it and feast on its remains. The next day the prosauropods exit the gorge and go out to the not forest where a herd of placerias are grazing. The Placerias are eating stones and digging large holes in the ground where they are laying their eggs but small burolestes are sneaking in and laying their eggs in some of the holes to provide their young with a meal when they hatch, the Placerias are shown to live in mega herds as a very successful species with two males fighting over a part of the mega herd one loses and takes its anger out on the prosauropods and kills one and they retreat to the other side of the river. The dry season occurs and most dinosaurs and creatures are killed during a sand storm including all of the mega herd apart from two isolated pockets of only five individuals the survivors like some dinosaurs five of the remaining prosauropods, Smok and the cynodonts and the living desmatosuchus eat the carrion for extra nutrition.
The Smok starved but sane attacks a Desmatosuchus and has its right leg injured it then a few weeks later hunts the last Placerias in the area and has its second leg torn out and it lies there bleeding on the floor she is eaten by a flock of dinosaurs which sanely stay out of the way until it stops moving by the end of the dry season all of the remaining Placerias, phytosaurs, Smok's and Desmatosuchus are bones the dinosaurs and the two surviving prosauropods and cynodonts are the lucky ones that survived the disaster it ends with the prosauropods being revealed as Plateosaurus as a large sane herd of them come by the area to feast on the new plants as all the grazers were killed weeks ago.
Special Episode 8: The Old Doe
The episode begins in the Triassic showing a herd of lystrosaurus being hunted by a mysterious predator when a little lizard like creature hops onto the screen and scavenges from the corpses it then suddenly evolves into a mysterious dinosaur that evolves into a Lambeosaurus male walking through his swampy water home and returns to his home herd of parasaurolophus and Lambeosaurus and Styracosaurus, the Styracosaurus are lead by the strongest individual in this case an old doe with so many scars her skin is most red she steps away from her nest to sip water to instead discover blood dripping out from a re opened wound while she drinks three rowdy young males from a different herd come and challenge hers she attempts to subdue them and manages to accidentally kill one but thanks to there being two they manage to injure her so much she runs away being stalked by a pack of Daspletosaurus but she fends them off.
The old doe stumbles her way to another herd with an old buck as the leader who lets her into the herd she relaxes in the river and watches as a herd of Struthiomimus walk on the banks teaching their young how to swim if any danger is nearby. Back at the old herd a group of Dromaeosaurus feast on the old does eggs and hatchlings. A month passes by and mating season begins with the Parasaurolophus doing their peaceful displays, the Chasmosaurus flushing blood into their frills and the Pachyrhinosaurus ramming into each others heads. The Old Doe at her new herd takes care of her last batch of eggs and hatchlings with red frills from the Old Buck and watches as her old herd comes through with the two males being extremely scarred and weak from challenges by the other Styracosaurus and them foolishly attacking Centrosaurus herds for feeding grounds. The Old Buck holds his ground and manages to kill another one of the styracosaurus males the male runs away and stays in outskirts of the herd waiting for a weakness to exploit.
The breeding season concludes with a flash flood which kills the old Buck and half of the herd and many of the nearby creatures like the scavengers which are killed in the second flash flood. The herd manages to pull through and the Old Doe becomes the leader of the herd but the rowdy male challenges her band this time the doe wins and leaves him for the local Daspletosaurus who teach their young how to kill things. The Styracosaurus then has a mud bath and we conclude with Daspletosaurus evolving into a T Rex (65 MYA) which watches as a herd of Triceratops relax and their young play together in the same spot a bloodshed happened 10 million years before. The credits play off and it ends with how it began following a herd of edmontosaurus the same one from episode 1.
submitted by Ok-Kick832 to fixingmovies [link] [comments]
Spirits of The Frozen Forest:
It begins in the Early Jurassic with a cynodont in the darkness at the waters edge when it is eaten a large amphibian the next the day the sun rises awakening ornithischian colony living in the darkness for many months they leave and are grazing on some ferns a herd of Glaciasaurus come to graze and feed together with their symbiotic Dimorphodon buddies. Several panther like cynodonts come out and relax in the summer sun with the ornithischians when they are stalked by a large Cryolophosaurus which manages to kill one Glaciasaurus but nothing else.
The cynodonts are revealed to have a littler of pups which the cynodonts care for and need nutrients for them so the female leaves to find the ornithischian's clans burrows but are scared off when they throw their litter at her the next day a small group of cryolophosaurus young discover the nest and the cynodonts have to move away holding their young in their jaws.
The colonies eggs hatch during the months of darkness and the mothers have to venture out in the dark and the gloom one stops to drink at the waters edge but is killed by an amphibian which was awoken by the chirps. At dawn the group leave to feed with one guarding the burrows and under the cover of darkness they find enough bedding to keep them warm when a pterosaur lets out a warning cry which scares them off the pterosaur then eats the bedding and takes the rest to its chicks. When the sun finally rises a herd of primitive sauropods moves into the area but thanks to their loud noises they interrupt the colony from watching for predators and so a cryolophosaurus kills one and leaves this scares several of the young to the waters edge where the newly awakened water killer attacks and misses with the young being found by their parents and sleep in their burrows safe for now.
Episode 7
New Blood:
The episode begins with a herd of Placerias wading through a large body of water in their desert/ forest home where several are killed by several phytosaurs. The blood pours downstream to a hunting Lilliensternus hunting for lung fish near some trees by a sleeping Desmatosuchus half submerged like a hippo which awakes to the blood and storms off scaring the lungfish. it wiggles its arms in frustration and moves back to its forest home where it comes across a group of hatchling Burolestes (which are noticed as being out of place) and our plucky dinosaur hunts them all apart from one little one that escapes through a tunnel in the ground which was occupied by a small cynodont that has mysteriously left while the dinosaur feasts on the corpses it comes across a pterosaur feasting on some corpses our protagonist kills it chases it away in frustration.
Out in the outskirts of the forest a large corpse with no head or legs or a tail lies in a field of hatching little creatures (that are prosauropods but are only called juveniles) the large corpse in their hatching fields attracts some dinosaurs and the apex predator a female Smok comes and scares the dinosaurs and eats some of the prosauropods but most manage to escape but some are killed by the dinosaurs. A couple years go and the little prosauropods have formed little creche's and are stuck together grazing in a gorge where several cynodonts growl at them menacingly and pterosaurs fly above hunting insects a desmatosuchus sleeping to the side and a Smok coming through the only entrance the prosauropods panic and run towards the Desmatosuchus which while waving its tail kills a prosauropod but also scares the Smok who is content to feast on the carcasses. Several scavenging dinosaurs come across the carrion after the smok is done with it and feast on its remains. The next day the prosauropods exit the gorge and go out to the not forest where a herd of placerias are grazing. The Placerias are eating stones and digging large holes in the ground where they are laying their eggs but small burolestes are sneaking in and laying their eggs in some of the holes to provide their young with a meal when they hatch, the Placerias are shown to live in mega herds as a very successful species with two males fighting over a part of the mega herd one loses and takes its anger out on the prosauropods and kills one and they retreat to the other side of the river. The dry season occurs and most dinosaurs and creatures are killed during a sand storm including all of the mega herd apart from two isolated pockets of only five individuals the survivors like some dinosaurs five of the remaining prosauropods, Smok and the cynodonts and the living desmatosuchus eat the carrion for extra nutrition.
The Smok starved but sane attacks a Desmatosuchus and has its right leg injured it then a few weeks later hunts the last Placerias in the area and has its second leg torn out and it lies there bleeding on the floor she is eaten by a flock of dinosaurs which sanely stay out of the way until it stops moving by the end of the dry season all of the remaining Placerias, phytosaurs, Smok's and Desmatosuchus are bones the dinosaurs and the two surviving prosauropods and cynodonts are the lucky ones that survived the disaster it ends with the prosauropods being revealed as Plateosaurus as a large sane herd of them come by the area to feast on the new plants as all the grazers were killed weeks ago.
Special Episode 8: The Old Doe
The episode begins in the Triassic showing a herd of lystrosaurus being hunted by a mysterious predator when a little lizard like creature hops onto the screen and scavenges from the corpses it then suddenly evolves into a mysterious dinosaur that evolves into a Lambeosaurus male walking through his swampy water home and returns to his home herd of parasaurolophus and Lambeosaurus and Styracosaurus, the Styracosaurus are lead by the strongest individual in this case an old doe with so many scars her skin is most red she steps away from her nest to sip water to instead discover blood dripping out from a re opened wound while she drinks three rowdy young males from a different herd come and challenge hers she attempts to subdue them and manages to accidentally kill one but thanks to there being two they manage to injure her so much she runs away being stalked by a pack of Daspletosaurus but she fends them off.
The old doe stumbles her way to another herd with an old buck as the leader who lets her into the herd she relaxes in the river and watches as a herd of Struthiomimus walk on the banks teaching their young how to swim if any danger is nearby. Back at the old herd a group of Dromaeosaurus feast on the old does eggs and hatchlings. A month passes by and mating season begins with the Parasaurolophus doing their peaceful displays, the Chasmosaurus flushing blood into their frills and the Pachyrhinosaurus ramming into each others heads. The Old Doe at her new herd takes care of her last batch of eggs and hatchlings with red frills from the Old Buck and watches as her old herd comes through with the two males being extremely scarred and weak from challenges by the other Styracosaurus and them foolishly attacking Centrosaurus herds for feeding grounds. The Old Buck holds his ground and manages to kill another one of the styracosaurus males the male runs away and stays in outskirts of the herd waiting for a weakness to exploit.
The breeding season concludes with a flash flood which kills the old Buck and half of the herd and many of the nearby creatures like the scavengers which are killed in the second flash flood. The herd manages to pull through and the Old Doe becomes the leader of the herd but the rowdy male challenges her band this time the doe wins and leaves him for the local Daspletosaurus who teach their young how to kill things. The Styracosaurus then has a mud bath and we conclude with Daspletosaurus evolving into a T Rex (65 MYA) which watches as a herd of Triceratops relax and their young play together in the same spot a bloodshed happened 10 million years before. The credits play off and it ends with how it began following a herd of edmontosaurus the same one from episode 1.
2023.06.02 16:21 Virtual_Stretch_3002 Whenever I get down to 160 I always gain weight and end up at 165. Can someone help?
WARNING: this will be a long post. However, I want to give as much information as possible.
(I don’t use Reddit. I made an account specifically ask this question.)
I’m 27, female, 5”1 and 165 pounds.
I had previously lost a ton of weight, I was probably over 230 pounds. I got down to 160, and then gained maybe 30 pounds after Covid. January of this year I had gotten down to 173 and now I’m in the 160s and struggling to lose more.
I was 162 weeks three days ago, yesterday I was 164 and now I’m 165. I know for a fact I didn’t over eat. I would just chalk it up to water weight but the issue is * every time* I get down to 162 I always end up gaining 3 pounds and I get back up to 165. This has been happening for months. I cannot get below 160.
I don’t know why this happens but it’s seriously discouraging me. So, I was hoping someone could shed some light as to what I’m doing wrong?
Information about my fitness lifestyle below:
My first goal is to be 150 pounds, and lose 5 inches off my waist (It’s 32” right now). After that, I want to see how I look and feel, and then decide what to do from there.
I’ve been working out consistently for 10 weeks, six days a week, one day off. I’ve been following massy arias elevation 1 workout plan. We did alternating strength training, then stretches. On the days when I did my stretches I also did a 12 minute dance cardio workout.
And now, instead of alternating days, I’m doing her second program, which is basically strength training for two days, and then stretches, and then it repeats itself. However, I think I’m dealing with burnt out so I’ve been taking this week off and I’ve just been doing my stretches and cardio.
If you need more details my workout routine looks this: I do a 14 minute warm-up
then I get into my work out (around 20-30 minutes)
If it’s a stretching day I’ll do 12 minute dance cardio workout after.
then I usually walk a mile (because I have to walk my dog) but lately it’s been like 3 miles (3 dogs)
I’ve been hitting around 10k steps.
I practice intermittent fasting until around 1pm (which is lunch anyways)
I take vitamins every morning, along with collagen powder and Green super food powder.
I weigh and track all my calories. The only time when I don’t is when I haven’t eaten a lot and I know I have wiggle room. But 90% of the time I track my calories.
As far as what I eat? That parts a little bit more complicated. I have a lot of allergies and intolerances. I can’t eat any dairy, most meats (so I stay away from all of them), eggs, soy, beans, or corn.
I eat a lot of rice and fish, but I’m struggling financially at the moment so I usually end up eating one meal a day ( times are just tough) and to be honest, I try my best to make sure it’s some thing that has proteins, greens, or whatever but usually I just try to find something I can grab that I’m not allergic too. I try to make sure that it’s as healthy as healthy can get.
I do cook, but because I have to make literally everything I eat from scratch. (Like, if I wanted a doughnut, I would have to make that from scratch.) I suffer from burn out all the time.
I make every single thing that goes into my mouth and like clockwork I have three months of when I don’t cook anything. I don’t know how many months I have of cooking before I just can’t do it anymore, I’ve never counted. But maybe four or five? This isn’t convenient, but this is something I don’t know how to change and I don’t have help.
Whenever I type these questions into Reddit, everyone always says, “eat more”. I don’t want to be told I need to eat more because I tried that. I’ve also suffered from binge eating my whole life, and I’m trying desperately to get that under control, I’ve been doing pretty decent but I just don’t feel like eating more is going to help me in that regard. I’m not the kind of person that can go over my calorie count and be OK. I promise you if I start to go over my recommended calorie count for the day (or even maintenance) I will gain weight.
I’m on a bit of a timeline and I can’t really afford to do that right now. Also, I think that would discourage me even more and I don’t wanna quit.
According to the TDEE calculator, my maintenance is 1,899
My calorie count for the day is 1,320.
I don’t know what to do, and I have no one to talk to. This has been happening for months and I don’t know how to fix it. I really hope someone can help me.
( if it matters I also have no insurance right now so going to a doctonutritionist is not an option. I’m not even sure if that would help yeah)
submitted by Virtual_Stretch_3002 to loseit [link] [comments]
(I don’t use Reddit. I made an account specifically ask this question.)
I’m 27, female, 5”1 and 165 pounds.
I had previously lost a ton of weight, I was probably over 230 pounds. I got down to 160, and then gained maybe 30 pounds after Covid. January of this year I had gotten down to 173 and now I’m in the 160s and struggling to lose more.
I was 162 weeks three days ago, yesterday I was 164 and now I’m 165. I know for a fact I didn’t over eat. I would just chalk it up to water weight but the issue is * every time* I get down to 162 I always end up gaining 3 pounds and I get back up to 165. This has been happening for months. I cannot get below 160.
I don’t know why this happens but it’s seriously discouraging me. So, I was hoping someone could shed some light as to what I’m doing wrong?
Information about my fitness lifestyle below:
My first goal is to be 150 pounds, and lose 5 inches off my waist (It’s 32” right now). After that, I want to see how I look and feel, and then decide what to do from there.
I’ve been working out consistently for 10 weeks, six days a week, one day off. I’ve been following massy arias elevation 1 workout plan. We did alternating strength training, then stretches. On the days when I did my stretches I also did a 12 minute dance cardio workout.
And now, instead of alternating days, I’m doing her second program, which is basically strength training for two days, and then stretches, and then it repeats itself. However, I think I’m dealing with burnt out so I’ve been taking this week off and I’ve just been doing my stretches and cardio.
If you need more details my workout routine looks this: I do a 14 minute warm-up
then I get into my work out (around 20-30 minutes)
If it’s a stretching day I’ll do 12 minute dance cardio workout after.
then I usually walk a mile (because I have to walk my dog) but lately it’s been like 3 miles (3 dogs)
I’ve been hitting around 10k steps.
I practice intermittent fasting until around 1pm (which is lunch anyways)
I take vitamins every morning, along with collagen powder and Green super food powder.
I weigh and track all my calories. The only time when I don’t is when I haven’t eaten a lot and I know I have wiggle room. But 90% of the time I track my calories.
As far as what I eat? That parts a little bit more complicated. I have a lot of allergies and intolerances. I can’t eat any dairy, most meats (so I stay away from all of them), eggs, soy, beans, or corn.
I eat a lot of rice and fish, but I’m struggling financially at the moment so I usually end up eating one meal a day ( times are just tough) and to be honest, I try my best to make sure it’s some thing that has proteins, greens, or whatever but usually I just try to find something I can grab that I’m not allergic too. I try to make sure that it’s as healthy as healthy can get.
I do cook, but because I have to make literally everything I eat from scratch. (Like, if I wanted a doughnut, I would have to make that from scratch.) I suffer from burn out all the time.
I make every single thing that goes into my mouth and like clockwork I have three months of when I don’t cook anything. I don’t know how many months I have of cooking before I just can’t do it anymore, I’ve never counted. But maybe four or five? This isn’t convenient, but this is something I don’t know how to change and I don’t have help.
Whenever I type these questions into Reddit, everyone always says, “eat more”. I don’t want to be told I need to eat more because I tried that. I’ve also suffered from binge eating my whole life, and I’m trying desperately to get that under control, I’ve been doing pretty decent but I just don’t feel like eating more is going to help me in that regard. I’m not the kind of person that can go over my calorie count and be OK. I promise you if I start to go over my recommended calorie count for the day (or even maintenance) I will gain weight.
I’m on a bit of a timeline and I can’t really afford to do that right now. Also, I think that would discourage me even more and I don’t wanna quit.
According to the TDEE calculator, my maintenance is 1,899
My calorie count for the day is 1,320.
I don’t know what to do, and I have no one to talk to. This has been happening for months and I don’t know how to fix it. I really hope someone can help me.
( if it matters I also have no insurance right now so going to a doctonutritionist is not an option. I’m not even sure if that would help yeah)
2023.06.02 15:58 squishyfrog666 Churro??
 | Has anyone had this and is it worth it?? I do love churros! submitted by squishyfrog666 to CrumblCookies [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 15:45 adamscott426 How do you dose for this? Wrong answers only 🤣
 | submitted by adamscott426 to diabetes_t1 [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 15:25 cookedsummer Five Dog Lies We All Believe
 | https://preview.redd.it/h7tkr8ibul3b1.jpg?width=3648&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbb7ecce1005b34f0fe04aa96971c4ed065720ba submitted by cookedsummer to PetCare101 [link] [comments] Our capacity to properly own and care for dogs depends greatly on our understanding of the peculiar and perhaps perplexing behaviors and traits of dogs. The things we read and hear about dogs, however, are not always accurate. We'll expose ten widespread myths about man's best buddy that the majority of us have always accepted as fact in this list. 5. They are in good health if their noses are wet. In reality, a dog with a warm, dry nose could be as healthy as one with a cold, wet nose. A dog's nose will fluctuate in warmth and moisture from day to day. Their recent behavior, the environment, or any other variables could be to blame for this. A dog's nose's temperature and moisture content are in no way accurate or trustworthy indicators of its health. Just like a dog with a hot, dry nose, one with a wet, chilly nose may be experiencing a serious illness. Don't worry if you ever notice your dog having a dry nose. He has most likely been lazing around in the sunshine. So when should you be worried about the health of your dog? The drinking, feeding, and behavioral patterns of your dog are better indicators of health problems. You may wish to have them examined if you detect a sudden change in their appetite or demeanor. 4. They Can't Be Hurt by Bacon Dogs should not be given chocolate, which is common knowledge, but many people are not aware that many other human food products can be harmful to dogs as well. The most shocking item in that assortment maybe bacon. Most people would probably assume that occasionally treating your dog to bacon would be a good idea. After all, bacon is a type of meat, and dogs must eat meat. Bacon can, however, be extremely toxic to dogs and even cause long-term health issues. This pork snack's high fat and grease content has been linked to pancreatitis, an inflammation of the pancreas. Digestion enzymes are released by the pancreas, ensuring that the body can properly assimilate and digest meals. The pancreas's capacity is reduced by pancreatitis, making it incapable of carrying out its intended functions. This may cause your dog to digest food improperly and develop severe illness. Therefore, it would be wise to simply turn away the next time you see your dog giving you his cutest puppy dog eyes while saliva drips from his lips as you glance over your food. In the long run, you'll be saving him, after all. 3. If they seem to be having a nightmare, wake them up. The subject of whether dogs dream or not has long been debated. Although the answer is still up in the air, the evidence is very strong that they do. Dogs exhibit rapid eye movement (REM) sleep, the same kind of sleep we experience while dreaming. Dogs have unquestionably demonstrated the ability to lay down memories, which is related to the act of dreaming. So how do nightmares fare? To begin with, we can't say for sure that dogs can experience nightmares because we don't know if they dream at all. It can be quite upsetting for owners to leave their pets when they appear to be in discomfort if they hear them whining and jerking when they are sleeping. Many dog owners decide to free their dogs from what they believe to be sleep-induced nightmares. However, this can end up causing the dog extra stress and being unhealthy. Dogs need a specific amount of deep sleep, much like people, to maintain mental health and regular growth. Although dogs typically slumber for 14 to 16 hours a day, very little of this time is spent in deep sleep. A dog is probably getting some of the necessary deep sleep it needs when it seems to be dreaming. In fact, disturbing this slumber could be harmful to them. 2. Dogs who are ill will consume grass It's a prevalent belief that dogs only eat grass to make themselves sick and then vomit to get something bad out of their systems. In reality, this doesn't happen very often. Less than 10% of dogs that consume grass show signs of illness. Due to a disease called pica, which makes animals crave foods that provide the nutrients and minerals they are deficient in, dogs will occasionally eat grass. Boredom can also cause pica, which can cause your dog to consume other strange items like paint chips. Dogs may occasionally chew grass for territorial reasons. Dogs may eat grass to detect intruders on their property. However, a more straightforward reason for the behavior is that dogs like the flavor of grass. Dogs have unique tastes that they enjoy, just like humans do. The grass might be among them. In any case, it is a myth that dogs only consume grass when they are unwell. 1. They Take Pleasure in Hugs For dog lovers, this truth may come as a shock. A hug is a tender, consoling act between people. That behavior is simply a means for us to communicate our concerns for our dogs. Dogs, on the other hand, don't completely understand the act in the same manner. Dogs view the placement of an arm or leg over the body as a sign of authority, which makes the dog under the arm or leg feel uneasy. We hug one another in this manner. In reality, we're projecting dominance in front of our buddy while trying to show him our affection. Not every dog fits this description, though. Depending on his nature and how he perceives the activity, your dog may react differently to a hug. A dog will alter his body language to show whether he is anxious in response to the gesture.The dog might stiffen up, shut his mouth, and possibly lick his lip. This is a clear indication that he is perplexed by the event and is likely pondering what went wrong. But do not fret. It won't affect your dog's impression of you if he doesn't enjoy receiving hugs. Your dog continues to love you. |
2023.06.02 15:20 CivilDefenseWarden “Slightly used good for water”
 | submitted by CivilDefenseWarden to CrackheadCraigslist [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 15:04 Gator588 Actionable Steps That are Helping Me
Hello All,
First off I want to say what you are going through is only temporary. It is easy to beat yourself up about it thinking it is weird, or stupid, but just know that you are not alone and there are many other irrational fears that millions of people struggle with every day. Having said that, I have found some relief recently and wanted to post on here in the hopes that it helps some of you.
My story of this phobia started two years ago where I felt like I couldn't swallow while I was eating steak at a restaurant. This instantly triggered a panic attack, fight or flight response that freaked me out. I swallowed the piece just fine, but I believe that experience triggered this phobia in my subconscious. This lead to two straight years of overthinking every meal I experienced. I will admit, my phobia never got so bad that I couldn't eat solid food, but I had to eat very slow, over chew everything, and overall just stressing about something that should typically bring you happiness. However, in just the last week I have found some relief, and with time I am hopeful that I will conquer this once and for all.
Now, we all wish there was a magic pill that could make this instantly go away. There are a lot of anxiety meds out there and they seem to help a lot of people. However, I believe that all these do is suppress the symptoms, instead of fixing the root cause. So that was my mission, to put in the work and find a way to identify the root cause of my fear and anxiety around eating. Here is a list of what I did:
Hopefully some of this helps, feel free to reach out with any questions!
submitted by Gator588 to Pseudodysphagia [link] [comments]
First off I want to say what you are going through is only temporary. It is easy to beat yourself up about it thinking it is weird, or stupid, but just know that you are not alone and there are many other irrational fears that millions of people struggle with every day. Having said that, I have found some relief recently and wanted to post on here in the hopes that it helps some of you.
My story of this phobia started two years ago where I felt like I couldn't swallow while I was eating steak at a restaurant. This instantly triggered a panic attack, fight or flight response that freaked me out. I swallowed the piece just fine, but I believe that experience triggered this phobia in my subconscious. This lead to two straight years of overthinking every meal I experienced. I will admit, my phobia never got so bad that I couldn't eat solid food, but I had to eat very slow, over chew everything, and overall just stressing about something that should typically bring you happiness. However, in just the last week I have found some relief, and with time I am hopeful that I will conquer this once and for all.
Now, we all wish there was a magic pill that could make this instantly go away. There are a lot of anxiety meds out there and they seem to help a lot of people. However, I believe that all these do is suppress the symptoms, instead of fixing the root cause. So that was my mission, to put in the work and find a way to identify the root cause of my fear and anxiety around eating. Here is a list of what I did:
- I listened to this podcast episode from Stanford Neuroscientist on Erasing Fear and Trauma. Here is the link if you are interested - Erasing Fears & Traumas Based on the Modern Neuroscience of Fear Huberman Lab Podcast #49 - YouTube
- One thing I took away from this and started doing is the Cyclic Hyperventilation. Where for 5 minutes every day for two weeks you purposely put yourself in a state of stress and anxiety. He explains it in detail in the podcast, but I am 8 days in and it is really helping. While I do this I think about eating scary things such as steak. If you try this make sure you follow his precautions that he mentions on the podcast.
- I listened to another podcast from Huberman (he is a wealth of knowledge on a variety of topics). Here is the link if you are interested - Dr. Chris Palmer: Diet & Nutrition for Mental Health Huberman Lab Podcast #99 - YouTube
- This is one of the most fascinated podcasts I have ever listened to. This guy has actually healed people with Schizophrenia through diet and nutrition. Because of this podcast I started doing the keto diet about 10 days ago. Wow! I can't believe how much better I feel and how better my mental health and attitude concerning food. Now, I know it may seem counterproductive since our phobia is around eating, but there are many soft foods that would be considered low carb or keto. Avocado, soft scrambled eggs, soft cheeses, and milk are some of my staples. If you can't eat any of those, you can always make shakes with full fat milk, almond milk, and a variety of other items to make a very healthy low carb meal replacement shake.
- Cold Showers
- Sounds crazy and woo woo, but there is actually a lot of science around the mental (and physical) benefits of cold showers. I have been doing this in conjunction with the cyclic hyperventilation, and I really think they are helping. You can even start with a warm shower, and then finish with the cold for about 60-90 seconds. That is all it takes to get the benefits. Look up the Wim Hof Method and you can learn more about this.
- Exercise
- You don't have to get a gym membership, just find something (walking, biking, swimming) that gets your body moving. Exercise has been shown to greatly improve mental health. I recommend some kind of light shoulder exercise and neck stretches to really help strengthen that area and help swallowing.
- Omega-3
- If you are on anxiety meds thats fine, but if not, Omega-3 supplements have been shown to provide an anti-depressant effect around the same level as an SSRI. You want to find a supplement that gives at least 2000mg of Omega 3. If you are interested, here is a link to what I have been taking for the last 10 days Amazon.com: OmegaWell Omega 3 Fish Oil - 2000mg Capsules: Heart, Brain, & Joint Support - 800 mg EPA 600 mg DHA - w/Natural Lemon Oil, Sustainably Sourced - Mini Softgels - 30 Day Supply : Health & Household
- If you can't swallow the pills, you can actually cut the tips off them and mix the oil in with a smoothie or water.
- Meditation/Yoga/Stretching
- I recommend a combination of these three. Find one that you like and try it out for a couple weeks. Focus on your breathing with any of these and they will help I guarantee it. There is an app called Plyability that use every night before bed. 10-20 minutes of stretching combined with breathwork and I feel amazing.
- Breathwork
- I like the app "Breathwrk." There are dozens of breathing exercises you can work on and practice for what you think will help you. What has helped me is doing the "Lung Capacity" exercise. It forces you to take slow breaths with a 20 second breath hold. It is meant to strengthen your diaphragm and increase lung capacity. I think this really helps with my eating because a lot of anxiety starts with your breath. If you can learn to control your breath and your mind while eating, it makes the whole experience much easier.
- Talk to someone
- Spouse, family, therapist, anybody. Find someone to talk to about this. I opened up to my wife about it (I was embarrassed for a whole to mention this to anyone and tried to hide it), and I have felt much better and much less weird or ashamed. So find someone that will understand and help you work through it, it makes a world of difference.
Hopefully some of this helps, feel free to reach out with any questions!
2023.06.02 15:01 Dapper_Ad_4560 My story. I could use some help and advice
For the past 7 years I've been struggling with stomach issues. I've had anxiety and panic disorder along with ocd intrusive thoughts since I was a child. About 7 years ago I got a candida overgrowth which I couldn't take antibiotics due to the fact I'm allergic to them. I get a flair up every 6 months or so which brings all kinds of symptoms and despair. Well 5 weeks ago I decided to change all of that and started a very low carb diet which consisted on lean meats, berries, sardines, and asparagus and rice for these were the only foods I could digest. I started to notice the berries and almonds were not agreeing with my stomach and I'm sure the rice 1 cup a day was not helping either. The past 2 weeks I switched to a very strict carnivore diet. Meat, eggs, salt and water. I did have cheese once and learned my lesson from that for I was feeling so much better I thought I could tolerate it not remembering how my gut reacts to dairy. I was cooking with olive oil and started reading more that carnivores cook and eat butter so I fell into line. But I noticing that now that I'm using butter to cook, and actually ate some by itself last night my stomach issues are out of control. I think I transitioned don't think I have the keto flu and I've had diareaha my whole life so I'm ok with it now, but this is way out of the norm. My bowels waking me up at night to poop and all day long. This wasn't happening b4 I introduced the butter. Like alot of good people here I'm suffering again and all the benefits I had gotten are now leaving, and I've come to a lost state again in my daily life. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated for I am giving up hope. Thank you
submitted by Dapper_Ad_4560 to carnivorediet [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 14:31 CombinationOk9269 Supplement Drink
 | Hi, submitted by CombinationOk9269 to floxies [link] [comments] Not sure if you are allowed to post links or brand names but my friend recommended this shake to me which looks like it has a lot of the things suggested in the sticky. Is there anything in here I should be avoiding or would it be ok to drink it? |
2023.06.02 14:31 LanesGrandma It Should Have Been A Three Hour Tour
If it weren’t for a killer urban legend, Tina and I would celebrate Valentine’s Day on the 14th
Honestly, I was enjoying a bit of human company after several hours of driving alone, four years ago. Correction. I was trying to enjoy human company. I couldn't identify what was out of sync about Ernestburgh and its inhabitants so I wrote it off to me being picky. I am picky. That's why I was looking this far away from home for the location of my much needed warehouse. I wasn't about to spend the money demanded for run down buildings in my hometown. My odometer assured me I was 114 miles from home. In Ernestburgh. Which isn't in my GPS or on any online map I called up.
Cindy the gas station cashier dropped the cash into my hand and wished me a happy day. Then, haltingly, as if going off script and unsure about doing so, she asked, "What brought you here?"
"Good question," I said, jamming the change into my jacket's inside pocket, "I'm in the market for a warehouse, around 1,000 square feet. Anything like that in town?"
"Let the young lady be on her way," a deep voice boomed behind me. My stomach jumped, although I think I remained calm on the outside as I turned around. A tall, muscular man was nodding at Cindy and me. "Don't mind her, Miss, sometimes we forget our manners here, being we all know each other. You know how that is." He chuckled, although his eyes never smiled. To me, he looked smug. I didn't appreciate that.
"Where are my manners?" I laughed, sticking my hand out to start a handshake. "I'm Lydia from the next town over. And you are?"
He stared at my hand for several seconds before taking it in a quick handshake. "Name's Hopper, Miss Lydia, good to meet you. My wife Cora tells me I need to socialize more and work less, but, you know how it is, I'm sure." He released my hand.
He sounded like he looked, smug. Part of me wanted to egg him on. But I took a breath before speaking and told him I was looking for a motel room for the night. His demeanor softened. "The Deu Lake Inn just reopened after renovations. Go right from our parking lot, left at the second stop sign. Ask for Room Number 103. It overlooks the Lake. Hope you're an early riser. Sunrise over the Lake is unforgettable this time of year!"
Ernestburgh didn't have street lights so the stop signs were a little hard to see but I managed to find the dirt road that ended at Deu Lake Inn's parking lot. That clicked for me. If I landed MoonDoor's warehouse here, the Inn and the entire old school vibe of Ernestburgh would be an easy sell to increase tourism. Especially to boomers.
Annie McIntosh greeted me at the front desk and offered me 10 % off on my stay, which I gratefully accepted. Annie called in Enzio Morton to take my 'overnight bag' to my room and make sure the air conditioning was working. I said I wasn't worried, since it was February 9 and I would rather the room was heated. Annie's response was the a/c was just installed and it being such new technology, staff needed to make sure it worked. I chuckled a little then noticed she probably wasn't joking so I stopped, rather awkwardly.
Annie busied herself with paperwork and actively avoided talking to me after that. Knowing that someone named Enzio had to accompany me to my room, I checked out the only photo on the wall. It was a black and white photo of a man who looked eerily familiar. He wore an odd white bucket hat with the brim pushed away from his face. He had dark hair with full, choppy bangs, eyebrows raised over large eyes opened wide, a nondescript nose and mouth open as if he was either talking or gawking.
It hit me: That was Bob Denver, when he was Gilligan from Gilligan's Island, a 1960s sitcom.
A document attached to the photo frame was titled "Official History and Lore of Our Founding Father". It explained 'Captain' Johnny Ernest spent his entire life in Ernestburgh. His parents raised him on their local farm, before the town existed. Deu Lake Inn was built over his family's farm property. He was orphaned at the age of 11 and lived alone for the rest of his life. He spent 25 years building the earliest homes, post office and stage coach station for what became known as Ernestburgh. Since his death, he returns every year to eat the living being he names. The town would not and could not exist without him, according to the document.
What the hell.
"Miss Annie," I asked, unwilling to be taken in by a local prank, "is that all there is to this story?"
Annie lifted her head, smiling widely. "Yes," she said brightly, "that's our Founding Father, Captain Ernest. Once a year he returns, eats whatever living being he names, then he returns to his beloved lake until the next February 10th."
'Eats whatever living being he names.' I felt fear without knowing its origin, something I don't often experience. I turned to face the Inn's entrance so I could avoid both Annie and Captain Ernest. Enzio appeared soon after. He got me to Room 103, confirmed the a/c was good, and I was left on my own for the night.
I opened the sports bag of spare essentials I always left in my vehicle. It stems from having to be prepared to run for my life when I was younger. Some habits are hard to break. It allowed me to change into a t shirt for that night. I grabbed the remote and jumped into bed.
Covers up to my neck, horror movie marathon playing quietly in the background, I was ready to relax. That's when I remembered my odometer. Part of my being picky is me recording my mileage at the end of every journey. My odometer registered exactly 114 miles from home to Ernestbugh. Based on memory, I'd travelled mostly westbound from home. And online maps clearly showed a large, well-known city 40 miles west of my place. Seems likely I would have noticed that city, had it been in my way during my travels.
Also, traveling no more than 50 miles per hour, my trip should have taken two and a half hours, three tops if I slowed down, got stuck in traffic jams or stopped a lot. That wasn't how my drive went at all. I left home at 10 a.m. and drove non-stop until I arrived at Ernestburgh nine hours later, just before 7 p.m.
Once again, what the hell.
I called up my dashcam footage and fast forwarded through the day's journey. There was scenery I recognized, close to home, then about five hours of static, then scenery that I recalled driving into Ernestburgh. The first time I watched it, I didn't believe it. Had to be a technical glitch. The third time I watched it, my muscles tightened for fight or flight. As much as I wanted to leave immediately, I realized I'd do better to wait until morning. I set my phone alarm for 6:45 a.m. and plugged in my phone to recharge, then spent a long time staring at the ceiling.
My alarm rang a bit too early for my liking and I didn't remember setting the ring tone to 'growls and groans'. The time on my phone was 5:45 a.m. so it wasn't my alarm. For a second I attributed the noise to the horror movie marathon I'd selected for the room's TV. Nope. TV must have shut itself off while I was asleep.
I heard it again. A growl, thunderous and a bit muffled, coming from the back of the Inn where my window faced. Expecting an incoming thunderstorm, I opened the curtains a bit and stared for a second or two at a huge bubble sitting on the lake. A face smiled at me from inside the bubble. A face. In a bubble. On a lake. Smiling at me. So much wrong.
After the fastest shower ever, I shoved all my gear into my sports bag and threw on my coat. I ran to the back of the Inn with all my gear and my phone (charge cord still attached, alarm shut off) at the ready. The beach, such as it was, was about a two minute jog from the back of the Inn and extended for quite a bit before meeting the water. There was a large bubble sitting on the water's surface, a significant distance from the shore. This was the same bubble I'd seen out the window. It kept getting larger, as did the face in it.
I was trying to focus my phone's camera when I heard someone speaking behind me. Annie, the front desk clerk, asked if I was ready to check out.
"Um, Annie, do you see that?" I said as gently as I could, pointing at the bubble. As soon as I looked at it, I couldn't look away. Annie didn't answer my question but she did keep talking. She said check out prior to 11:25 a.m. was fine but I had to pay now. I asked her how much and she didn't answer, which prompted me to look directly at her.
The growling started again. Of course it was much louder than I'd heard in my room. Annie frowned but stood firm, hand out, palm up. I looked back at the lake and the bubble had moved much closer to shore, almost touching dry land. It was huge, and the face now had a full body with arms and legs. Still smiling, it pointed at me with its left arm.
My blood ran cold. I heard Annie's voice but couldn't understand the words. The bubble drew ever closer. The growls were so loud, I clamped my hands over my ears but still couldn't stop staring at the face. It seemed so familiar.
Annie might have stopped talking, I don't know. All I could hear with my hands on my ears was muffled growling. I knew she was still there because she had grabbed my right arm with both hands and pulled fiercely. Even so, I kept staring at the bubble that had stopped rolling when it made land.
The growling continued.
Annie tugged until my right hand fell away from my ear. She screamed it wasn't her time as she released my arm. At that time I didn't know if she stayed or left because I was still watching the bubble.
A crack formed, splitting the bubble in half vertically. Within a blink or two, the bubble split open and the growling changed to a low, gravelly human voice. "Annie! Annie McIntosh!" the being said. Its finger no longer pointed at me, but to my right. I felt compelled to glance beside me and sure enough, there was Annie. Her hands were balled up into fists, pushing on her temples. She was crying and shaking, and I felt genuine terror just looking at her.
"Annie McIntosh, it is your time!" the being announced as it took two steps towards her. I'm ashamed to say I felt a brief moment of relief that the being wasn't aiming at me before I realized it appeared to be hellbent on getting Annie. She was now screaming wordlessly, seemingly unable or unwilling to run.
In that moment, two things occurred to me. The being was an exact replica of the black and white photo of the town's founding father. And if the urban legend was correct, 'Captain' Johnny Ernest can only eat one person per year. He names that person before eating them. Since he'd already named Annie, I figured I was safe at least for that year, and tried to distract him. Maybe Annie could escape and live another year.
I screamed at him, "Captain, you're dead, you don't need to eat anymore!" It was the best I could think of at the time. I put my hands on Annie's left arm and tried to drag her away with me. No luck, she felt like she was cemented to the spot.
Meanwhile, Captain Ernest continued to take huge steps towards us. I'm used to living with and around weird things, but this went beyond weird. Gilligan wanted to eat someone and he seemed focused on Annie.
Something in me broke. I screamed I was sorry to Annie and took off at a full run. I didn't stop running until I got to the back of the Inn. Maybe it was guilt, maybe it was morbid curiosity, but I had to take one last look back.
Captain Ernest was still at least two of his steps away from her when he grabbed her.
She was still screaming when he dropped her into his mouth.
I folded two ten dollar bills under the phone on the Inn's front desk then jumped into my car and peeled out. When I got to Ernestburgh's main street I turned left. A right turn would have taken me back to Ernestburgh and that was a huge nope for me. As soon as I saw something resembling a freeway, I took the eastbound route and didn't stop until I was home.
The trip home took two hours and added 114 miles to the odometer. My dashcam worked just fine that whole time. The previous day's footage came up as 'corrupted' when I tried to access it. I spent the next four days in bed, waiting for Tina to return from her mother’s.
Tina's mother recovered quickly and Tina came home on day five. She asked me to retrace my steps with her in the car. No matter what we did, we couldn't find Ernestburgh. I searched for obituary notices about Annie McIntosh until Tina said I might be reaching unhealthy levels of 'need to know' when, in fact, I don't need to know. And she was right.
But every February 9th and 10th since then, she and I spend those days together, at home, without guests. We stay in bed, watch our fav horror movies and eat whatever we want. It's our customized version of Valentine's Day.
Author's note: Find me at LG Writes, Odd Directions and Write_Right
submitted by LanesGrandma to Write_Right [link] [comments]
Honestly, I was enjoying a bit of human company after several hours of driving alone, four years ago. Correction. I was trying to enjoy human company. I couldn't identify what was out of sync about Ernestburgh and its inhabitants so I wrote it off to me being picky. I am picky. That's why I was looking this far away from home for the location of my much needed warehouse. I wasn't about to spend the money demanded for run down buildings in my hometown. My odometer assured me I was 114 miles from home. In Ernestburgh. Which isn't in my GPS or on any online map I called up.
Cindy the gas station cashier dropped the cash into my hand and wished me a happy day. Then, haltingly, as if going off script and unsure about doing so, she asked, "What brought you here?"
"Good question," I said, jamming the change into my jacket's inside pocket, "I'm in the market for a warehouse, around 1,000 square feet. Anything like that in town?"
"Let the young lady be on her way," a deep voice boomed behind me. My stomach jumped, although I think I remained calm on the outside as I turned around. A tall, muscular man was nodding at Cindy and me. "Don't mind her, Miss, sometimes we forget our manners here, being we all know each other. You know how that is." He chuckled, although his eyes never smiled. To me, he looked smug. I didn't appreciate that.
"Where are my manners?" I laughed, sticking my hand out to start a handshake. "I'm Lydia from the next town over. And you are?"
He stared at my hand for several seconds before taking it in a quick handshake. "Name's Hopper, Miss Lydia, good to meet you. My wife Cora tells me I need to socialize more and work less, but, you know how it is, I'm sure." He released my hand.
He sounded like he looked, smug. Part of me wanted to egg him on. But I took a breath before speaking and told him I was looking for a motel room for the night. His demeanor softened. "The Deu Lake Inn just reopened after renovations. Go right from our parking lot, left at the second stop sign. Ask for Room Number 103. It overlooks the Lake. Hope you're an early riser. Sunrise over the Lake is unforgettable this time of year!"
Ernestburgh didn't have street lights so the stop signs were a little hard to see but I managed to find the dirt road that ended at Deu Lake Inn's parking lot. That clicked for me. If I landed MoonDoor's warehouse here, the Inn and the entire old school vibe of Ernestburgh would be an easy sell to increase tourism. Especially to boomers.
Annie McIntosh greeted me at the front desk and offered me 10 % off on my stay, which I gratefully accepted. Annie called in Enzio Morton to take my 'overnight bag' to my room and make sure the air conditioning was working. I said I wasn't worried, since it was February 9 and I would rather the room was heated. Annie's response was the a/c was just installed and it being such new technology, staff needed to make sure it worked. I chuckled a little then noticed she probably wasn't joking so I stopped, rather awkwardly.
Annie busied herself with paperwork and actively avoided talking to me after that. Knowing that someone named Enzio had to accompany me to my room, I checked out the only photo on the wall. It was a black and white photo of a man who looked eerily familiar. He wore an odd white bucket hat with the brim pushed away from his face. He had dark hair with full, choppy bangs, eyebrows raised over large eyes opened wide, a nondescript nose and mouth open as if he was either talking or gawking.
It hit me: That was Bob Denver, when he was Gilligan from Gilligan's Island, a 1960s sitcom.
A document attached to the photo frame was titled "Official History and Lore of Our Founding Father". It explained 'Captain' Johnny Ernest spent his entire life in Ernestburgh. His parents raised him on their local farm, before the town existed. Deu Lake Inn was built over his family's farm property. He was orphaned at the age of 11 and lived alone for the rest of his life. He spent 25 years building the earliest homes, post office and stage coach station for what became known as Ernestburgh. Since his death, he returns every year to eat the living being he names. The town would not and could not exist without him, according to the document.
What the hell.
"Miss Annie," I asked, unwilling to be taken in by a local prank, "is that all there is to this story?"
Annie lifted her head, smiling widely. "Yes," she said brightly, "that's our Founding Father, Captain Ernest. Once a year he returns, eats whatever living being he names, then he returns to his beloved lake until the next February 10th."
'Eats whatever living being he names.' I felt fear without knowing its origin, something I don't often experience. I turned to face the Inn's entrance so I could avoid both Annie and Captain Ernest. Enzio appeared soon after. He got me to Room 103, confirmed the a/c was good, and I was left on my own for the night.
I opened the sports bag of spare essentials I always left in my vehicle. It stems from having to be prepared to run for my life when I was younger. Some habits are hard to break. It allowed me to change into a t shirt for that night. I grabbed the remote and jumped into bed.
Covers up to my neck, horror movie marathon playing quietly in the background, I was ready to relax. That's when I remembered my odometer. Part of my being picky is me recording my mileage at the end of every journey. My odometer registered exactly 114 miles from home to Ernestbugh. Based on memory, I'd travelled mostly westbound from home. And online maps clearly showed a large, well-known city 40 miles west of my place. Seems likely I would have noticed that city, had it been in my way during my travels.
Also, traveling no more than 50 miles per hour, my trip should have taken two and a half hours, three tops if I slowed down, got stuck in traffic jams or stopped a lot. That wasn't how my drive went at all. I left home at 10 a.m. and drove non-stop until I arrived at Ernestburgh nine hours later, just before 7 p.m.
Once again, what the hell.
I called up my dashcam footage and fast forwarded through the day's journey. There was scenery I recognized, close to home, then about five hours of static, then scenery that I recalled driving into Ernestburgh. The first time I watched it, I didn't believe it. Had to be a technical glitch. The third time I watched it, my muscles tightened for fight or flight. As much as I wanted to leave immediately, I realized I'd do better to wait until morning. I set my phone alarm for 6:45 a.m. and plugged in my phone to recharge, then spent a long time staring at the ceiling.
My alarm rang a bit too early for my liking and I didn't remember setting the ring tone to 'growls and groans'. The time on my phone was 5:45 a.m. so it wasn't my alarm. For a second I attributed the noise to the horror movie marathon I'd selected for the room's TV. Nope. TV must have shut itself off while I was asleep.
I heard it again. A growl, thunderous and a bit muffled, coming from the back of the Inn where my window faced. Expecting an incoming thunderstorm, I opened the curtains a bit and stared for a second or two at a huge bubble sitting on the lake. A face smiled at me from inside the bubble. A face. In a bubble. On a lake. Smiling at me. So much wrong.
After the fastest shower ever, I shoved all my gear into my sports bag and threw on my coat. I ran to the back of the Inn with all my gear and my phone (charge cord still attached, alarm shut off) at the ready. The beach, such as it was, was about a two minute jog from the back of the Inn and extended for quite a bit before meeting the water. There was a large bubble sitting on the water's surface, a significant distance from the shore. This was the same bubble I'd seen out the window. It kept getting larger, as did the face in it.
I was trying to focus my phone's camera when I heard someone speaking behind me. Annie, the front desk clerk, asked if I was ready to check out.
"Um, Annie, do you see that?" I said as gently as I could, pointing at the bubble. As soon as I looked at it, I couldn't look away. Annie didn't answer my question but she did keep talking. She said check out prior to 11:25 a.m. was fine but I had to pay now. I asked her how much and she didn't answer, which prompted me to look directly at her.
The growling started again. Of course it was much louder than I'd heard in my room. Annie frowned but stood firm, hand out, palm up. I looked back at the lake and the bubble had moved much closer to shore, almost touching dry land. It was huge, and the face now had a full body with arms and legs. Still smiling, it pointed at me with its left arm.
My blood ran cold. I heard Annie's voice but couldn't understand the words. The bubble drew ever closer. The growls were so loud, I clamped my hands over my ears but still couldn't stop staring at the face. It seemed so familiar.
Annie might have stopped talking, I don't know. All I could hear with my hands on my ears was muffled growling. I knew she was still there because she had grabbed my right arm with both hands and pulled fiercely. Even so, I kept staring at the bubble that had stopped rolling when it made land.
The growling continued.
Annie tugged until my right hand fell away from my ear. She screamed it wasn't her time as she released my arm. At that time I didn't know if she stayed or left because I was still watching the bubble.
A crack formed, splitting the bubble in half vertically. Within a blink or two, the bubble split open and the growling changed to a low, gravelly human voice. "Annie! Annie McIntosh!" the being said. Its finger no longer pointed at me, but to my right. I felt compelled to glance beside me and sure enough, there was Annie. Her hands were balled up into fists, pushing on her temples. She was crying and shaking, and I felt genuine terror just looking at her.
"Annie McIntosh, it is your time!" the being announced as it took two steps towards her. I'm ashamed to say I felt a brief moment of relief that the being wasn't aiming at me before I realized it appeared to be hellbent on getting Annie. She was now screaming wordlessly, seemingly unable or unwilling to run.
In that moment, two things occurred to me. The being was an exact replica of the black and white photo of the town's founding father. And if the urban legend was correct, 'Captain' Johnny Ernest can only eat one person per year. He names that person before eating them. Since he'd already named Annie, I figured I was safe at least for that year, and tried to distract him. Maybe Annie could escape and live another year.
I screamed at him, "Captain, you're dead, you don't need to eat anymore!" It was the best I could think of at the time. I put my hands on Annie's left arm and tried to drag her away with me. No luck, she felt like she was cemented to the spot.
Meanwhile, Captain Ernest continued to take huge steps towards us. I'm used to living with and around weird things, but this went beyond weird. Gilligan wanted to eat someone and he seemed focused on Annie.
Something in me broke. I screamed I was sorry to Annie and took off at a full run. I didn't stop running until I got to the back of the Inn. Maybe it was guilt, maybe it was morbid curiosity, but I had to take one last look back.
Captain Ernest was still at least two of his steps away from her when he grabbed her.
She was still screaming when he dropped her into his mouth.
I folded two ten dollar bills under the phone on the Inn's front desk then jumped into my car and peeled out. When I got to Ernestburgh's main street I turned left. A right turn would have taken me back to Ernestburgh and that was a huge nope for me. As soon as I saw something resembling a freeway, I took the eastbound route and didn't stop until I was home.
The trip home took two hours and added 114 miles to the odometer. My dashcam worked just fine that whole time. The previous day's footage came up as 'corrupted' when I tried to access it. I spent the next four days in bed, waiting for Tina to return from her mother’s.
Tina's mother recovered quickly and Tina came home on day five. She asked me to retrace my steps with her in the car. No matter what we did, we couldn't find Ernestburgh. I searched for obituary notices about Annie McIntosh until Tina said I might be reaching unhealthy levels of 'need to know' when, in fact, I don't need to know. And she was right.
But every February 9th and 10th since then, she and I spend those days together, at home, without guests. We stay in bed, watch our fav horror movies and eat whatever we want. It's our customized version of Valentine's Day.
Author's note: Find me at LG Writes, Odd Directions and Write_Right
2023.06.02 14:28 mcdubbx Ideas needed
 | What would you do with all of these? They are way hotter than I expected and wouldn't make good snacking peppers. submitted by mcdubbx to spicy [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 14:27 resurrective Chapter 20 - What is love?
“HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!”
A laugh, what does it mean for a person? A sign of amusement? A mark of contentment? Maybe, a reaction to a quirky comment or action? Perhaps…
But now, all that echoed throughout the burning lands was a guffaw of despair and torment. It belonged to Eve, the future queen of the entire Confederation of Demons. And right now, no trace of royal dignity was to be seen within her. The woman was pulling her white hair, kneeling in her sphere at the sight of the mass-murder.
The snow of death, the sprinkled ash of white and purple fell upon the ground, taking hundreds of lives. Gramgrim, the strongest and the fiercest formation underneath the authority of Me-ua now perished like slugs under the salt. Orcs, dogs, trolls, deer, lions, crows, fiends, mind-flayers, tigers, boars, even a cult of bulls-necromancers – the brigade included many different races, men and women of different backgrounds and upbringings, their tamed beasts and familiars, slaves and draft animals. Looking at the southern organizations, consisting of various Ma-zok tribes was always fascinating. Especially, when none of them could withstand the divine plague, sent as a godly punishment for defiling the holy land of kokuyoku.
Was there any way to save themselves? Yes – they simply never should’ve come to the village. Now, though? Well, not even Panakea’s blessing could save Keyaruga from death, so why should any of them survive?
Such was Eve’s wrath; such was her sorrow, enshrined upon this wretched world.
“Fascinating.,,” Keyaruga muttered, looking underneath him. He couldn’t help but to feel glee. After all, hundreds upon hundreds of high-leveled demons perished, blessing the whole party of five with new levels to enjoy (or hate, in Ellen’s case). Strange, though. Normally, a party couldn’t be larger than four people (not that a mortal had control over it anyway; people could travel in however big assemblies, as they pleased, yet experience was earned only by parties of four), but the group stuck together pretty well. Was it another of Caladrius’ gifts, she just didn’t bother to share? Well, whatever the case…
“I know, it’s not a reason for joy… but we can definitely use all that power in our future battles.” Freia mused with a trace of regret in her voice.
“Uh-huh. Good thing to get stronger before we go after the demon king.” Setsuna supported, trapped in a conflict between joy at reaching her new threshold of power and fury for losing Visou.
“Of course this would happen… This always happens with those people and places I care for or love… I shouldn’t have taken this damned bracelet…” Keyaruga growled, looking at the yorkama talisman on his right wrist. Yet, when he was about to rip it away…
“Don’t do that.” …Ellen stopped him. For the first time in this nightmarish day she was thankful for her new powers, as they allowed her to stop her ‘brother’ from an act of utter stupidity. “It’s not your fault. Look, they came here, seeking Hakuo’s rival! Your sympathy has nothing to do with that, stop dealing in superstitions!” The Apostle of Caladrius attempted to reassure the lad. But alas…
“It’s my fault. Like Visou… like Alban… like Karman… It’s all been my fault.” …the man just wouldn’t listen.
“No… it was mine…” The crimson-haired cutie whispered, yet once again – no reaction. “Hey, brother, see that breached wall behind Mil’s house? I see traces there. Could you, maybe?..”
“Yes… Oh, Ellen, thank you!” Only when she pointed out the obvious, did the man finally wake up from his trance. Just in time to hear…
“KILL!!! KILL THEM ALL!!!” …this. Eve still couldn’t really master her raging emotions, and even the fact that no creature remained alive in the burning village stopped her in any way.
“Hm, I am saddened to inform you, little one, that there is nobody to slay here. And even if there were, I am unable to maintain the offence. I need to feed and regain my strength now.” Caladrius admonished, descending on the earth. “However, down the north road, you may find other survivors. Just make haste; they do not have much time.” The harbinger of plague informed the group, putting the white sphere on the ground. The barrier had faded just as all poisonous ash did as well, coincidentally.
Keyaruga, Setsuna, Eve, Freia, Ellen, Kelly, Patty – all could finally walk properly again. Not really a big perk, when all you’re finding yourself among the still burning remains of a ruined village, though.
“O pluvia clemens, benedic nobis tua gratia recreativa.” Fortunately, they had the Hero of Magic at their side. And so, the first thing Freia did was to cast a simple rain spell. A critically important move, especially when their raptors were getting panicked by the fires.
“Now, if you excuse me.” And what would horrify any sentient being was how gruesomely filthy Caladrius turned out to be. The very first thing she did when the party had finally landed was to grab some dead slimy bastard, and just swallow him whole, like some sort of a pelican.
“Hey! Hey! Hey! He-e-ey!!! The hell are you doing?!” The younger princess yawped, consumed by her anger. Not because she was disgusted, though… “You fucking munched him with all that armor and shit?! What’re you even thinking of?! We need that!”
“I do not care, Apostle. Unless you are willing to strip them yourself, your whining is of little concern to me.” The deity replied dismissively. Even if her plague faded without a trace, the diseased corpses were still a delicacy for Caladrius.
And here I thought Ellen was slandering her about this part. Thought it was just a nice joke. Apparently, not, Keyaruga mused, witnessing the same vile spectacle as his girls did.
“Well, I’m willing as hell! You can buy an entire village for one of those!” The young lady snarled, turning one of the corpses over, just to untie the leashes that held a cuirass in place. When people die, their rectum can’t hold feces anymore. The stench of death, dung, decay, the earth, wet and softened by the rain – so much filth among the corpses, and yet, the warlady felt overjoyed looting the corpses of their fallen enemies before tossing their naked bodies toward her hungry patron.
“Keyaruga, I think, we should…” Freia softly spoke, pointing at the breach on the northern side. She wasn’t overly enthusiastic about defiling the dead, so maybe…
“No, I’m going alone.” Sadly, the healer wouldn’t let anyone accompany him in this quest. Even the golden egg had to leave his back right now. He knew who he was pursuing. And what he would do to his enemies, once he’d reached them. “Setsuna, Freia, hold this, and stay here, and watch out for Eve, and… Well, you may also help Ellen with looting.” The lad spoke, completely ignoring the rain that fell upon his head.
“Uh-huh, got it.” The gray-haired girl agreed, putting the straps holding their unborn ‘child’ on her back. Strangely enough, the ice warrior was more than happy with pillaging the corpses. With her arms being covered in the frozen gauntlets, the girl could easily strip the fallen brigadiers to Ellen’s obvious delight.
“I… think I should bury the villagers.” Freia, on the other hand, grabbed a shovel somewhere. Instead of defiling the dead, she wanted to properly inter the remains of the poor black-wings… until their bodies were eaten by their own god.
“Whatever you wish… Just don’t forget to cut off their wings.” The man ordered, tossing away everything from Kelly’s saddle. He needed speed, not sustainability.
“I see… feathers… magic catalysts…” The sorceress instantly understood what the hero wanted from the fallen villagers. To be honest, that sort of cruelty paled compared to what their enemies sometimes allowed themselves. It didn’t make the pink-haired girl any happier, though.
“Wait!” Finally, just as Keyaruga was about to climb on his reptile steed, he got a companion in the form of the queen-to-be. “I’m… going with you!..” She spoke wearily, yet her tone wouldn’t brook any denial.
“You shouldn’t, Eve. You’re too drained as it is, I can’t risk you now.” That didn’t work on the new hero, though. The red-eyed lad knew, what kind of atrocities he was about to commit. What’s worse – he was looking forward for them.
“No… You know I can’t be killed that easily.” The white-haired woman insisted, allowing herself to climb in the saddle no matter what Keyaruga wanted. “Also, those are my people we’re talking about.”
“Alright…” The man nodded, giving one last brief look at what travesty was currently occuring on this holy ground: hundreds of corpses, two enthusiastic looter-girls stripping them before feeding them to the goddess that was primarily supposed to guard this place from such tragedies, and the strongest mage in the world, cutting off wings with her wavy dagger. All gave him a brief look. “Girls, lady Caladrius, you stay here! The raptor we’re taking will go faster carrying only two of us.” The healer admonished, silently praising himself for not including the plague incarnate in the ranks of his lovers. Wouldn’t that be awkward?
“Uh-huh. Good luck, you two.” Setsuna waved her armored hand, happily proceeding with robbing the corpses.
“Yeah… thanks. We’ll need it.”
…
The forest had been defiled. A trace of bodies, both kokuyoku and their ruthless persecutors, marked a path for the hero and his queen. Faster! Faster! The man smacked his reptile with his heels, struck against the ribs, pulled every bit of speed from poor Kelly. So much so, that even wild scavengers, who came to feast on the corpses, just fled from the massive raptor. And yet, it still wasn’t enough…
“Hey, Keyaruga!” Eve spoke, holding onto the hero’s torso with her trembling arms. “Why are you even helping us? Why… do you even bother, if they die no matter what we do?” The queen-to-be asked melancholically. Right now, she tried to find at least some meaning in her existence, just to not fall into a pit of nihilism and despair.
“It’s because… I have power. I can make a difference. And because I want to do so.” The red-haired lad responded, navigating a path through the woods with his jade eye. His status elevated him above the rest, giving the man many abilities, some considered to be… unnatural. For example, he could easily alleviate Kelly’s fatigue from constant galloping.
“Power, yes?.. The onslaught… it began when Caladrius was playing with us… But instead of putting an end to this hell, she’d go on, and on, and on… And even when we got out, she never told us what was going on. When I asked her to bless you, I was scared… and discomforted, and… whatever other words you have for discomfort. I thought it was because of the trial… Thought it was over… Then… I looked at myself, my own actions, here and in the past.” Eve shared the burden of her guilt with Keyaruga. The white-haired woman couldn’t help but blame herself for everything that happened. If she didn’t ignore her feelings, if she had checked on her wings a little earlier, if she… “If I… If I just could…”
“Was that what you saw in your challenge?” The healer wondered, trying to get his companion out of this ruinous obsession over what nobody could prevent, or even predict.
“Ugm… Who did you meet there?” Did he fail? No, not really. But instead of giving him an answer, the queen-to-be countered with a question of her own.
“Many, many people… I don’t want to talk about it now.” Unfortunately, though, Keyaruga just couldn’t bring himself to reveal what he saw, heard… did with his own hands.
“I… I see…” Eve murmured, getting a message from the lad’s depressed tone. He too carried much pain in his soul, and that vortex of suffering could never be dissipated by shutting down just some of his emotions. To completely silence this pain, Keyaruga would have to become something else entirely, something inhuman, incapable of either hate or love.
“More important, Eve, I want you to sharpen your senses. Maybe, you can trace magic better than me.” The hero suggested, as his right eye rolled around in his socket. The forest was wide and thick, and his sight wasn’t as all-seeing as he’d like it to be.
“I’ll try.” Eve whispered, trying to focus her attention on the ambient mana. Maybe, if she was just diligent enough, she could trace her living brethren? Maybe, all wasn’t lost just yet? Maybe… “You know, Keyaruga, you’re not the guilty one in all of this… If Mil didn’t let everyone in, if I wasn’t saved by your goddess, if our goddess wasn’t just like Ellen says she is… than none of this horror would have happened.” The lady in red deadpanned cautiously. Now that she knew of her ‘future’, how it might’ve been without this self-conflicted man at her side, the kokuyoku scion could clearly tell – her grandfather was just like Keyaruga and Ellen, he wanted the best for his people… and that turned Visou into a deathtrap. After all, Hakuo wouldn’t have sent Gramgrim here if Cornar had come to him with the valuable bounty that was the black-wings’ princess.
“I’m sorry…” The healer uttered, still unaware, just how much of a monster Eve’s first husband really was, and how much she owed him for showing, how the love should even look like in the first place.
“You really shouldn’t be, Keyaruga.” The black-winged prodigy responded sorrowfully. She felt the lad’s distress: it was in his voice, his posture, his way of breathing… “You can’t just carry the burden for everyone else. I tried… and I failed.” Eve spoke, trying to dissuade her defender from thinking he was able to hold the whole world on his shoulders, when, in reality, it was simply impossible. “Don’t do that. You’ll break.” This calm phrase was spoken serenely, and yet, it was a cry. A cry for help, for understanding, for letting go.
“We don’t need Caladrius.” But Keyaruga just couldn’t release himself from this burden. Even now, when riding over the forest floor, covered in disfigured corpses, most of which were charred whole, seemingly by lightning, the man couldn’t stop thinking about Eve, her troubles, the tragic price her ultimate power might demand from her.
“Why?” The lady in red asked, attempting to follow the new line of conversation which her companion had turned to. Why would he even be scared of it? Didn’t Ellen bargain two free casts for her? Ellen… How could this capricious princess be able to extort such a valuable gift from the harbinger of plague? If Eve had done something like this in the first world… then there wouldn’t be the second one.
“She’s… too frivolous, arrogant, she’s thousands years old, yet all I see is an old snobby child with no backbone. We can’t be sure she’ll maintain her promise, and I really, really don’t want to see you wither away.” The man said with that seemingly careless voice of his. “If you need someone dead, I’ll be there for you.” He added grimly then. Eve was too soft, even now, she still couldn’t deal with the moral compromises necessary, and there were going to be a lot more of them on the way toward the Obsidian Throne.
“Hah… You really do want me to fall in love with you?” The queen-to-be noted somewhat playfully. Her mood was still sombered, but even so, there was always a light in the darkness.
“Heh, aren’t you already? I can tell – you’ve changed, so that you could keep up with me, especially in the bed.” Keyaruga followed this little funny road, and retaliated with a joke of his own. But… was it really a joke, though?
“Yes… Yes, I have.” Apparently, not. “I can’t force you to become your old self, but I had a chance to change myself.” Eve explained, lowering her head. She couldn’t keep up with the man last night – he was just too big for her. That’s why, the girl had to go, the queen-to-be had to become a woman, and fast.
And so, there could be only one thing to ask at this point.
“So, do you want to fuck, once this is over?” The hero unceremoniously inquired from his companion. After all, they were already past all those earlier insults and attempts at shaming from Eve’s side.
“Yes, I do! I really, really do. I want you to ravage me, so I wouldn’t go mad.” The Me-ua kahul responded with a plea of sorrow, hate, loathing, and regret. There wasn’t anything enticing in this request, but… it was so humane.
“Of course. I will.” The man promised. Despite everything, despite this day supposedly belonging to Ellen and Setsuna, he wouldn’t refuse her, no matter what. And Eve felt that resolve in the man.
“Also, I won’t stop using Caladrius. We need her, Keyaruga. We need her… to establish our authority. Then… maybe, I won’t have to lose anyone again.” The queen-to-be spoke wearily. She wanted to reach Hakuo, wished to murder this monster once and for all with her own hands, instead of waiting till some disease finishes him. She wanted to bury this king’s legacy once and for all, so that his blood would never poison her life ever again. Eve Reese desired revenge. And Keyaruga would never feel worthy of discouraging his queen. And yet…
“Alright. But you have to promise me one thing – one time. She gave us only two times, and I don’t want you to overreach any further. Everything else I’ll deal with personally. It won’t make a difference to me anyway, my hands are already dirtied enough as it is.” Keyaruga all but demanded. The gods had put them in a tight little cage, where only those who kill more than others, were worthy of wielding great power. Right now, the man wasn’t sure his party was enough to challenge Hakuo’s rule. Even Eve, drained by Caladrius, managed to overpower her ‘heroic’ adversaries. Too bad they left her exhausted for Keyaru to finish the job. Speaking of that…
“But… why would you even bother? Don’t you just want to… make another redo? To fix everything, to save those who you couldn’t save?” The lady in red asked the lad. He was never too secretive about the circumstances he was in, and how the world ended up as it is. Still, each time he spoke of that, pain and loss broke through his armor of callousness.
“No. Just as you said, I have people to live for now. Freia, Setsuna, Ellen, you, Eve – I can’t imagine my life without you. And if I just flee into the past, then what’s even the point of us having this little chat right now?” The healer quarried in response. He was sure of what he was talking about now. Or, rather, trying to convince himself and Eve of that.
“Haa… Right…” For better or worse, the woman just exhaled and dropped the topic. To believe it would mean disregarding Keyaruga’s deep painful wounds, any further prying risked opening them up again. “I think we’ve got something.” Fortunately, right in that moment, Eve noticed a track, something to spot her brethren, where the trail of bodies had just ended.
“What? Where?” Keyaruga asked, now looking around.
“To the left from here. I feel my brethren coming to me from this side. They’re… fighting. And dying.” As the lady in red spoke, pointing in the direction the flow of souls was coming from, the rider pulled the reigns to stop his steed. He then jumped off the saddle.
“Shit, I must hurry!” The hero snarled, pulling the saber out of its sheath. A contradicting statement, seeing as he would be much faster mounted. But no… “Keep your eye on Kelly! I can’t risk the two of you!”
“You want to go alone?” The woman astounded, reaching for her companion. Alas, he never faced her.
“Yes! Our enemies are strong, Eve. And I’m not sure if I can properly protect you. Stay here; cover me with your magic.” Keyaruga urged sternly. He wasn’t a healer, nor a competent defender whatsoever. The hero was a murderer, and nothing could convince him more than the trial he completed just an hour ago.
“Hold on! I won’t let you go alone.” Nevertheless, the kokuyoku scion too wasn’t the same after that challenge. She flapped her wings, and numerous black spheres left her feathers. One, two… ten, twenty… Twenty-three shades now flew around the man, ready to assist him in murdering whoever threatened their kin. “They will protect you.”
“Ah… thanks.” The red-haired man uttered, looking at the fallen black-wings. Right now, they rather reminded him of insects with the way they dashed around. “We’ll be on our way, then.” Still, it didn’t stop him from getting ready to sprint forward to save whoever was left of the kokuyoku-zok and to punish their oppressors.
“Promise you’ll be back! Promise you’ll save everyone!” Eve ultimately asked, looking at her dead brethren. Shying away from them was a luxury, and now she had no time for such things.
“I will, Eve! Take care!”
And so, he ran off, to the site where the last bit of fighting was happening. Him, twenty-three shades… against the elite forces of Gramgrim, the only remaining fragment of the horrifying battalion; now, though, the time had come to end this warband once and for all.
…
Faster! Faster! I must be faster!
Keyaruga lunged through the woods, he jumped across logs, climbed the hills, passed a few ravines along the way, just to finally reach yet another battlefield. Mil was there, the wizened magician firmly held his staff. All bloodied, his robe torn apart, the old man still fought on.
“Masanna tanouti! (kill everyone)” A massive rider, carried by an even greater armored warg tackled Mil and his defense line of mostly women spellcasters, and a few strong men among the refugees.
“Usegi! (run) Usegi-i!!!” Mil yelled, getting ready to ward off the seemingly countless hordes of bloodthirsty invaders, preferably – all on his own. The thought of death never scared the magician, as he already looked in its eyes, and they were gentle.
“Mil-murnaz! (elder Mil!) Katunj pora bornul non! (we have nowhere to retreat!)” An armored old woman yelled, preparing her grandiose fire blast. None of them would abandon him. Only seventeen of them remained against a group of forty-seven raving cutthroats, knowing all too well, they wouldn’t be able to pull through. And yet, none of them would go down without a fight. If they did, they would be slaughtered, and after that – their kin would follow.
“SUNI-I-I-I!!! (DI-I-IE!!!)” The bruised elder snarled, imbuing his wooden staff with an element of lightning. One swing, one smack – and the monstrous wolf fell down, wriggling in the shocking agony, along with its master. One down.
“Globus igneus!” The armored hag next to him yelled, sending a massive fireball into the troops. Seven perished, four else – scattered. Yet, those who fell were mercilessly crushed underfoot by the four brutal tiger-riders – no regards to their allies, and even less toward the foe. Five men and two women from the black-wings stood up to meet them with their spears, staked into the earth… It didn’t work – the demons breached their line, gutting everyone in the reach of their decorated cleavers.
“Katunji! (retreat!) Konato wor marmori! (protect the children)” Mil commanded, tossing two hardened feathers into the enemies. Too close to him, but… it didn’t matter. “KURLINA-A-A!!! (FUCK YOU!!!)” He yelled, detonating the enchanted quills.
BOOM!
An explosion, a shockwave, the trembling of the earth. Kokuyoku were mercilessly pushed further, practically hunted like animals, and yet, their prey had claws and teeth. The blast was mighty, it broke Gramgrim’s formation, allowing the defenders to flee, to run, to… live a few minutes longer.
“Kha-a-a… Ha-a-a… Agh…” Mil helplessly wheezed, pushed to the trunk of the giant oak. His bones were broken, the old man had lost all feeling in his legs, hands, and… No, he knew what he was getting into. “Gh-h-h!.. Ugh… E… va… ma…” Even when some tall goblinoid thug impaled him with a spear, the only thing on the mind of the dying sorcerer was his granddaughter, and all those he tried to save. Tried, but…
“I’VE COME TO SAVE YOU!!!” Keyaruga roared, engaging a bat-like swordsman, lunging toward the fleeing defenders. Just in a few hundred meters away, the refugees were running from the pursuers. It was honestly a miracle to see them keeping such a substantial distance, even though the enemies had carnivorous mounts. It seems, like they were rather enjoying chasing their prey.
“GHA-A-A!!!” Nevertheless, the fencer retreated from the hero, picked up a lance from the roasted wolf-man, and tossed it into the hero. The latter dodged, then pointed in the direction of his adversaries.
“Tania wor tanouti! (kill them!) Orn wor shef na! (don’t be concerned about me!)” And just like that, a cascade of shadows materialized to shred the enemy flanks and rear. The raging dark spirits now flew all across the surviving hunters’ ranks, ripping and tearing, stabbing and shredding the yelling warriors, as they tried to damage the ethereal vengeful apparitions. Could it be worse? Oh yes! Someone began simply sniping them from afar, numerous beams of piercing light took lives of so many, the Gramgrim’s morale hit the bottom.
Still, that didn’t mean they’d stop fighting. Certainly not! The bat-demon just met a shade with a wide swing from his reddish greatsword – an instant later, this spirit was gone. An adamantine blade – Keyaruga couldn’t just let him roam around – the man tossed a dagger from his sleeve, but no. The warrior just easily deflected it with a sneer. Before the lad could go on, he crossed those twenty meters with merely two jumps, ready to cleave the hero’s head in one rapid sweep.
The man ducked, right leg forward, balance toward offence. A slash was aimed toward the leg…
“Ghhh!” And it failed – the healer got a knee in his chin for that. After all, how can a thin saber cut through the metal greaves underneath the surcoat? Discombobulated, the man was about to get a downward cut to his shoulder.
“A-A-A-A-R-R-R-R!!!” Fortunately for him, another shade saved Keyaruga the trouble by backstabbing the fencer. Well, she just impaled him in the right armpit. Did that stop the berserker? “ULMO-O-O!!! (BITCH!)” Well, certainly not. Even if his one limb flopped uselessly by his side now, the warrior firmly grabbed his sword with his left hand, turned around, and slammed the spirit with the pommel, sending herto in the afterlife for sure!
A perfect chance to dispatch the swordsman, right?
Wrong! Barely had Keyaruga reached out to give the adversary one fatal touch, when another massive tiger-like brute attacked him with his massive claws. Slash, swing, up, down – the bruiser-armorclad was fast, his attacks – relentless. The lad was forced to retreat, elope, block – anything and everything to not get smashed. Each time he blocked a hit with his saber, his elbow would dislocate. No matter, Georgius healed in less than a second. No matter, just get…
“Tokalbarne! (got you!)” Alright, now that was surprising. The lad felt the trap, but proved too slow to escape the massive tail. Distracted by the tiger, he let himself be trapped by a lamia, which now not only enveloped the man’s entire body, but also unceremoniously licked his cheek. Was it the end?
“A-A-A-A-a-a… Ha-ha-HA-HA-HA!!! TUYOBU, TONA!!! (harder, mommy!)” Clearly not! Even while being crushed by the mighty snake tail, Keyaruga laughed, intimidating his foes with the undying audacity within his immortal body. “USHI INAV… MUNA CABNEI!!! (YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD!)”
“Nan-! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!” The lamia groaned in pain. A moment later her body began to swell, to bloat, and to rupture in a gruesome spectacle of blood and gore. Could Keyaruga do it better? Certainly, but he had no time, nor wish to figure out the half-shake’s anatomy, and where her heart (Is it just one?) lied.
Either way, one down, the shades did their job too, keeping the rest of the Gramgrim goons busy, often even ending them. They were forty-seven? Well, now they were just nineteen, and the monsters’ corpses didn’t actually do wonders for the battle spirit of the remainder either.
Keyaruga couldn’t care less, though. He got out from the lamia’s mortal grip, covered in blood and viscera, only his clean white teeth shone brightly.
“E-eh…” The tiger-brawler was shaken by the view. He reached toward the woman, unable to believe his eyes. Was she his lover, or something?
“Die!” No matter, whatever the case, the Hero of Healing dashed toward him, pushed his armored left arm against his chest, and then, the purple hue killed the man for good. His aorta just ruptured from the defiled mending spell.
Then, more beasts, some of which were mounted, lunged toward him. Two tigers, a massive deer, a swarm of eight snakes, and even a giant black bear. The warband reasoned that the fastest way to get rid of shadows was to kill the man. Well, they were wrong.
“Saltare et aurugine ventis!” At this point, he didn’t really care about the melee, that’s why, instead of engaging in anymore close-quarter fights, the lad simply called upon a mighty firestorm, a burning tornado of wind and blaze, which not only killed the animals, but also moved on to the rest of the crumbled Gramgrim troops, razing trees, ma-muana and ma-zok alike, charring their flesh and drowning their screams in the mercilessly loud crackling of magical flames.
I guess, that’s what I’m getting for not min-maxing my physical stats and speed before going melee. Well, no matter. Now that they’re dead… Wait, Mil?
“MIL!!!” Keyaruga yelled, running toward the old mage. He… was already beyond saving. Fifteen shades gathered around the hero, as he looked at the impaled man, and his decapitated green-skinned murderer who had been killed next to him. “Muna sagri. (You may leave)” And so, the healer sent the shades away. Quite in time, actually, as they were already flickering in and out of existence anyway – Eve was losing her mana. Finally, the lad was all alone. “Alright, old daredevil. You deserved a nice funeral.” He pulled the spear out of the corpse, and put it on his shoulder. It wasn’t much, but at least, he would be sent off properly.
Time to go, I guess. Now, let’s reunite with Eve, and then…
“A-A-A-A-A!!!” Another change of plans. The lad heard a scream. Two voices, in fact, both females. The man looked around and saw the bat-swordsman, dragging a mother and her child by their hair, completely disregarding their wails of pain whatsoever.
“What, do you really think taking hostages will save you?” Keyaruga scoffed, taking a step toward the cowardly combatant. Quite surprising really, seeing how good he was with that greatsword of his. But, well, two more, two less – the black-wings were doomed either way, right?
“Keyaruga-maran!” Maybe so, but those weren’t just some unknown refugees – they were Mayala and Brin. When the man saw them, he halted his movements completely.
“Good humie! Stand right where you are, or they die!” The cutthroat threatened. It seemed he had already healed the wound left by a shade with a potion. And now, instead of running away, he intended to use the captured family to extort the hero. For what purpose, though?
“Oh, great! Finally, someone, who speaks a human language!” Keyaruga wouldn’t be swayed by that. Why would he, actually? As it stood now, he could simply send a spell of light through the mother or the daughter, run closer, heal them…
Why should I even care? It’d only hurt for a moment, nothing really…
“Good! And stay there, little shit.” Well, turned out, it worked. The healer lowered his saber.
“Or what? You kill them? See those burning pines, pal? I just killed all of your friends. By the way, Gramgrim is no more. I bet Caladrius has already eaten all of their corpses.”
“Hah, no shit, clever boy! Then where is she?! HE-E-EY!!! CALADRIUS!!! OVER HE-E-ERE!!! See?” Sadly, the bat-fencer remained completely unfazed by the news. He still had an advantage – Keyaruga seemed to care for the weeping family, and that was his weakness. “Drop your sword, then get on your knees, or I’ll take their fucking heads!”
“How enticing…” The man wondered with a nervous grin. He spun his weapon once, and pointed it to the ground. Mayala and Brin looked at him, their black eyes conveyed terror and distress. And still, there was a glimpse of hope. Keyaruga could do a miracle. He would save them, just like he saved the girl from the terminal rabies. “Will you set them free if I surrender?”
“Yau! (yeah!)” The swordsman grinned, drawing his reddish blade closer to their necks. “Drop your iron!”
Ha-ha-ha-hah! Oh, what should I do? What should I make?
“Hey, I’ve got a better idea. How about I kill myself?” And just like that, the healer pointed his own weapon at his chest, sowing dread in the hearts of the hostages and careless amusement in their captor.
“What? He-heh! Go ahead, humie, I’ll watch!” The bastard chuckled, slightly lowering his massive blade. This nasty glee grew only greater, when…
“Heh, I’m serious!” …the red-eyed lad plunged his own saber through his chest. To deep, in fact, that only the handle now stuck out from his torso.
“KEYARUGA-SONA!!!”
“UA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You’re fucking hilarious!”
Three reactions, one of terror, one of tears, and the last one of irrepressible laughter – Keyaruga spat a chunk of blood, such a wound could never really kill him, and yet, it allowed for a safe movement. One, two, three steps – as long as he pretended to limp forward like a dying fool, the enemy would never stop him from approaching. He liked the view, liked seeing the man bleeding and coughing his own lungs out. He even…
A beam. A beam of white energy just flew right besides his head. It took a moment for the cutthroat to get, what was going on, but when he did, when he understood, that some distant caster could take off his head…
“YOU FUCKER!!!” Then, the cowardly warrior grabbed his greatsword with a two-handed grip, swung it at the terrorized family… “I’LL KI-!” …and died. The last thing he saw, felt, and tasted – was the trident that pierced his neck and head from the back.
submitted by resurrective to RedoOfHealer [link] [comments]
A laugh, what does it mean for a person? A sign of amusement? A mark of contentment? Maybe, a reaction to a quirky comment or action? Perhaps…
But now, all that echoed throughout the burning lands was a guffaw of despair and torment. It belonged to Eve, the future queen of the entire Confederation of Demons. And right now, no trace of royal dignity was to be seen within her. The woman was pulling her white hair, kneeling in her sphere at the sight of the mass-murder.
The snow of death, the sprinkled ash of white and purple fell upon the ground, taking hundreds of lives. Gramgrim, the strongest and the fiercest formation underneath the authority of Me-ua now perished like slugs under the salt. Orcs, dogs, trolls, deer, lions, crows, fiends, mind-flayers, tigers, boars, even a cult of bulls-necromancers – the brigade included many different races, men and women of different backgrounds and upbringings, their tamed beasts and familiars, slaves and draft animals. Looking at the southern organizations, consisting of various Ma-zok tribes was always fascinating. Especially, when none of them could withstand the divine plague, sent as a godly punishment for defiling the holy land of kokuyoku.
Was there any way to save themselves? Yes – they simply never should’ve come to the village. Now, though? Well, not even Panakea’s blessing could save Keyaruga from death, so why should any of them survive?
Such was Eve’s wrath; such was her sorrow, enshrined upon this wretched world.
“Fascinating.,,” Keyaruga muttered, looking underneath him. He couldn’t help but to feel glee. After all, hundreds upon hundreds of high-leveled demons perished, blessing the whole party of five with new levels to enjoy (or hate, in Ellen’s case). Strange, though. Normally, a party couldn’t be larger than four people (not that a mortal had control over it anyway; people could travel in however big assemblies, as they pleased, yet experience was earned only by parties of four), but the group stuck together pretty well. Was it another of Caladrius’ gifts, she just didn’t bother to share? Well, whatever the case…
“I know, it’s not a reason for joy… but we can definitely use all that power in our future battles.” Freia mused with a trace of regret in her voice.
“Uh-huh. Good thing to get stronger before we go after the demon king.” Setsuna supported, trapped in a conflict between joy at reaching her new threshold of power and fury for losing Visou.
“Of course this would happen… This always happens with those people and places I care for or love… I shouldn’t have taken this damned bracelet…” Keyaruga growled, looking at the yorkama talisman on his right wrist. Yet, when he was about to rip it away…
“Don’t do that.” …Ellen stopped him. For the first time in this nightmarish day she was thankful for her new powers, as they allowed her to stop her ‘brother’ from an act of utter stupidity. “It’s not your fault. Look, they came here, seeking Hakuo’s rival! Your sympathy has nothing to do with that, stop dealing in superstitions!” The Apostle of Caladrius attempted to reassure the lad. But alas…
“It’s my fault. Like Visou… like Alban… like Karman… It’s all been my fault.” …the man just wouldn’t listen.
“No… it was mine…” The crimson-haired cutie whispered, yet once again – no reaction. “Hey, brother, see that breached wall behind Mil’s house? I see traces there. Could you, maybe?..”
“Yes… Oh, Ellen, thank you!” Only when she pointed out the obvious, did the man finally wake up from his trance. Just in time to hear…
“KILL!!! KILL THEM ALL!!!” …this. Eve still couldn’t really master her raging emotions, and even the fact that no creature remained alive in the burning village stopped her in any way.
“Hm, I am saddened to inform you, little one, that there is nobody to slay here. And even if there were, I am unable to maintain the offence. I need to feed and regain my strength now.” Caladrius admonished, descending on the earth. “However, down the north road, you may find other survivors. Just make haste; they do not have much time.” The harbinger of plague informed the group, putting the white sphere on the ground. The barrier had faded just as all poisonous ash did as well, coincidentally.
Keyaruga, Setsuna, Eve, Freia, Ellen, Kelly, Patty – all could finally walk properly again. Not really a big perk, when all you’re finding yourself among the still burning remains of a ruined village, though.
“O pluvia clemens, benedic nobis tua gratia recreativa.” Fortunately, they had the Hero of Magic at their side. And so, the first thing Freia did was to cast a simple rain spell. A critically important move, especially when their raptors were getting panicked by the fires.
“Now, if you excuse me.” And what would horrify any sentient being was how gruesomely filthy Caladrius turned out to be. The very first thing she did when the party had finally landed was to grab some dead slimy bastard, and just swallow him whole, like some sort of a pelican.
“Hey! Hey! Hey! He-e-ey!!! The hell are you doing?!” The younger princess yawped, consumed by her anger. Not because she was disgusted, though… “You fucking munched him with all that armor and shit?! What’re you even thinking of?! We need that!”
“I do not care, Apostle. Unless you are willing to strip them yourself, your whining is of little concern to me.” The deity replied dismissively. Even if her plague faded without a trace, the diseased corpses were still a delicacy for Caladrius.
And here I thought Ellen was slandering her about this part. Thought it was just a nice joke. Apparently, not, Keyaruga mused, witnessing the same vile spectacle as his girls did.
“Well, I’m willing as hell! You can buy an entire village for one of those!” The young lady snarled, turning one of the corpses over, just to untie the leashes that held a cuirass in place. When people die, their rectum can’t hold feces anymore. The stench of death, dung, decay, the earth, wet and softened by the rain – so much filth among the corpses, and yet, the warlady felt overjoyed looting the corpses of their fallen enemies before tossing their naked bodies toward her hungry patron.
“Keyaruga, I think, we should…” Freia softly spoke, pointing at the breach on the northern side. She wasn’t overly enthusiastic about defiling the dead, so maybe…
“No, I’m going alone.” Sadly, the healer wouldn’t let anyone accompany him in this quest. Even the golden egg had to leave his back right now. He knew who he was pursuing. And what he would do to his enemies, once he’d reached them. “Setsuna, Freia, hold this, and stay here, and watch out for Eve, and… Well, you may also help Ellen with looting.” The lad spoke, completely ignoring the rain that fell upon his head.
“Uh-huh, got it.” The gray-haired girl agreed, putting the straps holding their unborn ‘child’ on her back. Strangely enough, the ice warrior was more than happy with pillaging the corpses. With her arms being covered in the frozen gauntlets, the girl could easily strip the fallen brigadiers to Ellen’s obvious delight.
“I… think I should bury the villagers.” Freia, on the other hand, grabbed a shovel somewhere. Instead of defiling the dead, she wanted to properly inter the remains of the poor black-wings… until their bodies were eaten by their own god.
“Whatever you wish… Just don’t forget to cut off their wings.” The man ordered, tossing away everything from Kelly’s saddle. He needed speed, not sustainability.
“I see… feathers… magic catalysts…” The sorceress instantly understood what the hero wanted from the fallen villagers. To be honest, that sort of cruelty paled compared to what their enemies sometimes allowed themselves. It didn’t make the pink-haired girl any happier, though.
“Wait!” Finally, just as Keyaruga was about to climb on his reptile steed, he got a companion in the form of the queen-to-be. “I’m… going with you!..” She spoke wearily, yet her tone wouldn’t brook any denial.
“You shouldn’t, Eve. You’re too drained as it is, I can’t risk you now.” That didn’t work on the new hero, though. The red-eyed lad knew, what kind of atrocities he was about to commit. What’s worse – he was looking forward for them.
“No… You know I can’t be killed that easily.” The white-haired woman insisted, allowing herself to climb in the saddle no matter what Keyaruga wanted. “Also, those are my people we’re talking about.”
“Alright…” The man nodded, giving one last brief look at what travesty was currently occuring on this holy ground: hundreds of corpses, two enthusiastic looter-girls stripping them before feeding them to the goddess that was primarily supposed to guard this place from such tragedies, and the strongest mage in the world, cutting off wings with her wavy dagger. All gave him a brief look. “Girls, lady Caladrius, you stay here! The raptor we’re taking will go faster carrying only two of us.” The healer admonished, silently praising himself for not including the plague incarnate in the ranks of his lovers. Wouldn’t that be awkward?
“Uh-huh. Good luck, you two.” Setsuna waved her armored hand, happily proceeding with robbing the corpses.
“Yeah… thanks. We’ll need it.”
…
The forest had been defiled. A trace of bodies, both kokuyoku and their ruthless persecutors, marked a path for the hero and his queen. Faster! Faster! The man smacked his reptile with his heels, struck against the ribs, pulled every bit of speed from poor Kelly. So much so, that even wild scavengers, who came to feast on the corpses, just fled from the massive raptor. And yet, it still wasn’t enough…
“Hey, Keyaruga!” Eve spoke, holding onto the hero’s torso with her trembling arms. “Why are you even helping us? Why… do you even bother, if they die no matter what we do?” The queen-to-be asked melancholically. Right now, she tried to find at least some meaning in her existence, just to not fall into a pit of nihilism and despair.
“It’s because… I have power. I can make a difference. And because I want to do so.” The red-haired lad responded, navigating a path through the woods with his jade eye. His status elevated him above the rest, giving the man many abilities, some considered to be… unnatural. For example, he could easily alleviate Kelly’s fatigue from constant galloping.
“Power, yes?.. The onslaught… it began when Caladrius was playing with us… But instead of putting an end to this hell, she’d go on, and on, and on… And even when we got out, she never told us what was going on. When I asked her to bless you, I was scared… and discomforted, and… whatever other words you have for discomfort. I thought it was because of the trial… Thought it was over… Then… I looked at myself, my own actions, here and in the past.” Eve shared the burden of her guilt with Keyaruga. The white-haired woman couldn’t help but blame herself for everything that happened. If she didn’t ignore her feelings, if she had checked on her wings a little earlier, if she… “If I… If I just could…”
“Was that what you saw in your challenge?” The healer wondered, trying to get his companion out of this ruinous obsession over what nobody could prevent, or even predict.
“Ugm… Who did you meet there?” Did he fail? No, not really. But instead of giving him an answer, the queen-to-be countered with a question of her own.
“Many, many people… I don’t want to talk about it now.” Unfortunately, though, Keyaruga just couldn’t bring himself to reveal what he saw, heard… did with his own hands.
“I… I see…” Eve murmured, getting a message from the lad’s depressed tone. He too carried much pain in his soul, and that vortex of suffering could never be dissipated by shutting down just some of his emotions. To completely silence this pain, Keyaruga would have to become something else entirely, something inhuman, incapable of either hate or love.
“More important, Eve, I want you to sharpen your senses. Maybe, you can trace magic better than me.” The hero suggested, as his right eye rolled around in his socket. The forest was wide and thick, and his sight wasn’t as all-seeing as he’d like it to be.
“I’ll try.” Eve whispered, trying to focus her attention on the ambient mana. Maybe, if she was just diligent enough, she could trace her living brethren? Maybe, all wasn’t lost just yet? Maybe… “You know, Keyaruga, you’re not the guilty one in all of this… If Mil didn’t let everyone in, if I wasn’t saved by your goddess, if our goddess wasn’t just like Ellen says she is… than none of this horror would have happened.” The lady in red deadpanned cautiously. Now that she knew of her ‘future’, how it might’ve been without this self-conflicted man at her side, the kokuyoku scion could clearly tell – her grandfather was just like Keyaruga and Ellen, he wanted the best for his people… and that turned Visou into a deathtrap. After all, Hakuo wouldn’t have sent Gramgrim here if Cornar had come to him with the valuable bounty that was the black-wings’ princess.
“I’m sorry…” The healer uttered, still unaware, just how much of a monster Eve’s first husband really was, and how much she owed him for showing, how the love should even look like in the first place.
“You really shouldn’t be, Keyaruga.” The black-winged prodigy responded sorrowfully. She felt the lad’s distress: it was in his voice, his posture, his way of breathing… “You can’t just carry the burden for everyone else. I tried… and I failed.” Eve spoke, trying to dissuade her defender from thinking he was able to hold the whole world on his shoulders, when, in reality, it was simply impossible. “Don’t do that. You’ll break.” This calm phrase was spoken serenely, and yet, it was a cry. A cry for help, for understanding, for letting go.
“We don’t need Caladrius.” But Keyaruga just couldn’t release himself from this burden. Even now, when riding over the forest floor, covered in disfigured corpses, most of which were charred whole, seemingly by lightning, the man couldn’t stop thinking about Eve, her troubles, the tragic price her ultimate power might demand from her.
“Why?” The lady in red asked, attempting to follow the new line of conversation which her companion had turned to. Why would he even be scared of it? Didn’t Ellen bargain two free casts for her? Ellen… How could this capricious princess be able to extort such a valuable gift from the harbinger of plague? If Eve had done something like this in the first world… then there wouldn’t be the second one.
“She’s… too frivolous, arrogant, she’s thousands years old, yet all I see is an old snobby child with no backbone. We can’t be sure she’ll maintain her promise, and I really, really don’t want to see you wither away.” The man said with that seemingly careless voice of his. “If you need someone dead, I’ll be there for you.” He added grimly then. Eve was too soft, even now, she still couldn’t deal with the moral compromises necessary, and there were going to be a lot more of them on the way toward the Obsidian Throne.
“Hah… You really do want me to fall in love with you?” The queen-to-be noted somewhat playfully. Her mood was still sombered, but even so, there was always a light in the darkness.
“Heh, aren’t you already? I can tell – you’ve changed, so that you could keep up with me, especially in the bed.” Keyaruga followed this little funny road, and retaliated with a joke of his own. But… was it really a joke, though?
“Yes… Yes, I have.” Apparently, not. “I can’t force you to become your old self, but I had a chance to change myself.” Eve explained, lowering her head. She couldn’t keep up with the man last night – he was just too big for her. That’s why, the girl had to go, the queen-to-be had to become a woman, and fast.
And so, there could be only one thing to ask at this point.
“So, do you want to fuck, once this is over?” The hero unceremoniously inquired from his companion. After all, they were already past all those earlier insults and attempts at shaming from Eve’s side.
“Yes, I do! I really, really do. I want you to ravage me, so I wouldn’t go mad.” The Me-ua kahul responded with a plea of sorrow, hate, loathing, and regret. There wasn’t anything enticing in this request, but… it was so humane.
“Of course. I will.” The man promised. Despite everything, despite this day supposedly belonging to Ellen and Setsuna, he wouldn’t refuse her, no matter what. And Eve felt that resolve in the man.
“Also, I won’t stop using Caladrius. We need her, Keyaruga. We need her… to establish our authority. Then… maybe, I won’t have to lose anyone again.” The queen-to-be spoke wearily. She wanted to reach Hakuo, wished to murder this monster once and for all with her own hands, instead of waiting till some disease finishes him. She wanted to bury this king’s legacy once and for all, so that his blood would never poison her life ever again. Eve Reese desired revenge. And Keyaruga would never feel worthy of discouraging his queen. And yet…
“Alright. But you have to promise me one thing – one time. She gave us only two times, and I don’t want you to overreach any further. Everything else I’ll deal with personally. It won’t make a difference to me anyway, my hands are already dirtied enough as it is.” Keyaruga all but demanded. The gods had put them in a tight little cage, where only those who kill more than others, were worthy of wielding great power. Right now, the man wasn’t sure his party was enough to challenge Hakuo’s rule. Even Eve, drained by Caladrius, managed to overpower her ‘heroic’ adversaries. Too bad they left her exhausted for Keyaru to finish the job. Speaking of that…
“But… why would you even bother? Don’t you just want to… make another redo? To fix everything, to save those who you couldn’t save?” The lady in red asked the lad. He was never too secretive about the circumstances he was in, and how the world ended up as it is. Still, each time he spoke of that, pain and loss broke through his armor of callousness.
“No. Just as you said, I have people to live for now. Freia, Setsuna, Ellen, you, Eve – I can’t imagine my life without you. And if I just flee into the past, then what’s even the point of us having this little chat right now?” The healer quarried in response. He was sure of what he was talking about now. Or, rather, trying to convince himself and Eve of that.
“Haa… Right…” For better or worse, the woman just exhaled and dropped the topic. To believe it would mean disregarding Keyaruga’s deep painful wounds, any further prying risked opening them up again. “I think we’ve got something.” Fortunately, right in that moment, Eve noticed a track, something to spot her brethren, where the trail of bodies had just ended.
“What? Where?” Keyaruga asked, now looking around.
“To the left from here. I feel my brethren coming to me from this side. They’re… fighting. And dying.” As the lady in red spoke, pointing in the direction the flow of souls was coming from, the rider pulled the reigns to stop his steed. He then jumped off the saddle.
“Shit, I must hurry!” The hero snarled, pulling the saber out of its sheath. A contradicting statement, seeing as he would be much faster mounted. But no… “Keep your eye on Kelly! I can’t risk the two of you!”
“You want to go alone?” The woman astounded, reaching for her companion. Alas, he never faced her.
“Yes! Our enemies are strong, Eve. And I’m not sure if I can properly protect you. Stay here; cover me with your magic.” Keyaruga urged sternly. He wasn’t a healer, nor a competent defender whatsoever. The hero was a murderer, and nothing could convince him more than the trial he completed just an hour ago.
“Hold on! I won’t let you go alone.” Nevertheless, the kokuyoku scion too wasn’t the same after that challenge. She flapped her wings, and numerous black spheres left her feathers. One, two… ten, twenty… Twenty-three shades now flew around the man, ready to assist him in murdering whoever threatened their kin. “They will protect you.”
“Ah… thanks.” The red-haired man uttered, looking at the fallen black-wings. Right now, they rather reminded him of insects with the way they dashed around. “We’ll be on our way, then.” Still, it didn’t stop him from getting ready to sprint forward to save whoever was left of the kokuyoku-zok and to punish their oppressors.
“Promise you’ll be back! Promise you’ll save everyone!” Eve ultimately asked, looking at her dead brethren. Shying away from them was a luxury, and now she had no time for such things.
“I will, Eve! Take care!”
And so, he ran off, to the site where the last bit of fighting was happening. Him, twenty-three shades… against the elite forces of Gramgrim, the only remaining fragment of the horrifying battalion; now, though, the time had come to end this warband once and for all.
…
Faster! Faster! I must be faster!
Keyaruga lunged through the woods, he jumped across logs, climbed the hills, passed a few ravines along the way, just to finally reach yet another battlefield. Mil was there, the wizened magician firmly held his staff. All bloodied, his robe torn apart, the old man still fought on.
“Masanna tanouti! (kill everyone)” A massive rider, carried by an even greater armored warg tackled Mil and his defense line of mostly women spellcasters, and a few strong men among the refugees.
“Usegi! (run) Usegi-i!!!” Mil yelled, getting ready to ward off the seemingly countless hordes of bloodthirsty invaders, preferably – all on his own. The thought of death never scared the magician, as he already looked in its eyes, and they were gentle.
“Mil-murnaz! (elder Mil!) Katunj pora bornul non! (we have nowhere to retreat!)” An armored old woman yelled, preparing her grandiose fire blast. None of them would abandon him. Only seventeen of them remained against a group of forty-seven raving cutthroats, knowing all too well, they wouldn’t be able to pull through. And yet, none of them would go down without a fight. If they did, they would be slaughtered, and after that – their kin would follow.
“SUNI-I-I-I!!! (DI-I-IE!!!)” The bruised elder snarled, imbuing his wooden staff with an element of lightning. One swing, one smack – and the monstrous wolf fell down, wriggling in the shocking agony, along with its master. One down.
“Globus igneus!” The armored hag next to him yelled, sending a massive fireball into the troops. Seven perished, four else – scattered. Yet, those who fell were mercilessly crushed underfoot by the four brutal tiger-riders – no regards to their allies, and even less toward the foe. Five men and two women from the black-wings stood up to meet them with their spears, staked into the earth… It didn’t work – the demons breached their line, gutting everyone in the reach of their decorated cleavers.
“Katunji! (retreat!) Konato wor marmori! (protect the children)” Mil commanded, tossing two hardened feathers into the enemies. Too close to him, but… it didn’t matter. “KURLINA-A-A!!! (FUCK YOU!!!)” He yelled, detonating the enchanted quills.
BOOM!
An explosion, a shockwave, the trembling of the earth. Kokuyoku were mercilessly pushed further, practically hunted like animals, and yet, their prey had claws and teeth. The blast was mighty, it broke Gramgrim’s formation, allowing the defenders to flee, to run, to… live a few minutes longer.
“Kha-a-a… Ha-a-a… Agh…” Mil helplessly wheezed, pushed to the trunk of the giant oak. His bones were broken, the old man had lost all feeling in his legs, hands, and… No, he knew what he was getting into. “Gh-h-h!.. Ugh… E… va… ma…” Even when some tall goblinoid thug impaled him with a spear, the only thing on the mind of the dying sorcerer was his granddaughter, and all those he tried to save. Tried, but…
“I’VE COME TO SAVE YOU!!!” Keyaruga roared, engaging a bat-like swordsman, lunging toward the fleeing defenders. Just in a few hundred meters away, the refugees were running from the pursuers. It was honestly a miracle to see them keeping such a substantial distance, even though the enemies had carnivorous mounts. It seems, like they were rather enjoying chasing their prey.
“GHA-A-A!!!” Nevertheless, the fencer retreated from the hero, picked up a lance from the roasted wolf-man, and tossed it into the hero. The latter dodged, then pointed in the direction of his adversaries.
“Tania wor tanouti! (kill them!) Orn wor shef na! (don’t be concerned about me!)” And just like that, a cascade of shadows materialized to shred the enemy flanks and rear. The raging dark spirits now flew all across the surviving hunters’ ranks, ripping and tearing, stabbing and shredding the yelling warriors, as they tried to damage the ethereal vengeful apparitions. Could it be worse? Oh yes! Someone began simply sniping them from afar, numerous beams of piercing light took lives of so many, the Gramgrim’s morale hit the bottom.
Still, that didn’t mean they’d stop fighting. Certainly not! The bat-demon just met a shade with a wide swing from his reddish greatsword – an instant later, this spirit was gone. An adamantine blade – Keyaruga couldn’t just let him roam around – the man tossed a dagger from his sleeve, but no. The warrior just easily deflected it with a sneer. Before the lad could go on, he crossed those twenty meters with merely two jumps, ready to cleave the hero’s head in one rapid sweep.
The man ducked, right leg forward, balance toward offence. A slash was aimed toward the leg…
“Ghhh!” And it failed – the healer got a knee in his chin for that. After all, how can a thin saber cut through the metal greaves underneath the surcoat? Discombobulated, the man was about to get a downward cut to his shoulder.
“A-A-A-A-R-R-R-R!!!” Fortunately for him, another shade saved Keyaruga the trouble by backstabbing the fencer. Well, she just impaled him in the right armpit. Did that stop the berserker? “ULMO-O-O!!! (BITCH!)” Well, certainly not. Even if his one limb flopped uselessly by his side now, the warrior firmly grabbed his sword with his left hand, turned around, and slammed the spirit with the pommel, sending herto in the afterlife for sure!
A perfect chance to dispatch the swordsman, right?
Wrong! Barely had Keyaruga reached out to give the adversary one fatal touch, when another massive tiger-like brute attacked him with his massive claws. Slash, swing, up, down – the bruiser-armorclad was fast, his attacks – relentless. The lad was forced to retreat, elope, block – anything and everything to not get smashed. Each time he blocked a hit with his saber, his elbow would dislocate. No matter, Georgius healed in less than a second. No matter, just get…
“Tokalbarne! (got you!)” Alright, now that was surprising. The lad felt the trap, but proved too slow to escape the massive tail. Distracted by the tiger, he let himself be trapped by a lamia, which now not only enveloped the man’s entire body, but also unceremoniously licked his cheek. Was it the end?
“A-A-A-A-a-a… Ha-ha-HA-HA-HA!!! TUYOBU, TONA!!! (harder, mommy!)” Clearly not! Even while being crushed by the mighty snake tail, Keyaruga laughed, intimidating his foes with the undying audacity within his immortal body. “USHI INAV… MUNA CABNEI!!! (YOU ARE ALREADY DEAD!)”
“Nan-! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!” The lamia groaned in pain. A moment later her body began to swell, to bloat, and to rupture in a gruesome spectacle of blood and gore. Could Keyaruga do it better? Certainly, but he had no time, nor wish to figure out the half-shake’s anatomy, and where her heart (Is it just one?) lied.
Either way, one down, the shades did their job too, keeping the rest of the Gramgrim goons busy, often even ending them. They were forty-seven? Well, now they were just nineteen, and the monsters’ corpses didn’t actually do wonders for the battle spirit of the remainder either.
Keyaruga couldn’t care less, though. He got out from the lamia’s mortal grip, covered in blood and viscera, only his clean white teeth shone brightly.
“E-eh…” The tiger-brawler was shaken by the view. He reached toward the woman, unable to believe his eyes. Was she his lover, or something?
“Die!” No matter, whatever the case, the Hero of Healing dashed toward him, pushed his armored left arm against his chest, and then, the purple hue killed the man for good. His aorta just ruptured from the defiled mending spell.
Then, more beasts, some of which were mounted, lunged toward him. Two tigers, a massive deer, a swarm of eight snakes, and even a giant black bear. The warband reasoned that the fastest way to get rid of shadows was to kill the man. Well, they were wrong.
“Saltare et aurugine ventis!” At this point, he didn’t really care about the melee, that’s why, instead of engaging in anymore close-quarter fights, the lad simply called upon a mighty firestorm, a burning tornado of wind and blaze, which not only killed the animals, but also moved on to the rest of the crumbled Gramgrim troops, razing trees, ma-muana and ma-zok alike, charring their flesh and drowning their screams in the mercilessly loud crackling of magical flames.
I guess, that’s what I’m getting for not min-maxing my physical stats and speed before going melee. Well, no matter. Now that they’re dead… Wait, Mil?
“MIL!!!” Keyaruga yelled, running toward the old mage. He… was already beyond saving. Fifteen shades gathered around the hero, as he looked at the impaled man, and his decapitated green-skinned murderer who had been killed next to him. “Muna sagri. (You may leave)” And so, the healer sent the shades away. Quite in time, actually, as they were already flickering in and out of existence anyway – Eve was losing her mana. Finally, the lad was all alone. “Alright, old daredevil. You deserved a nice funeral.” He pulled the spear out of the corpse, and put it on his shoulder. It wasn’t much, but at least, he would be sent off properly.
Time to go, I guess. Now, let’s reunite with Eve, and then…
“A-A-A-A-A!!!” Another change of plans. The lad heard a scream. Two voices, in fact, both females. The man looked around and saw the bat-swordsman, dragging a mother and her child by their hair, completely disregarding their wails of pain whatsoever.
“What, do you really think taking hostages will save you?” Keyaruga scoffed, taking a step toward the cowardly combatant. Quite surprising really, seeing how good he was with that greatsword of his. But, well, two more, two less – the black-wings were doomed either way, right?
“Keyaruga-maran!” Maybe so, but those weren’t just some unknown refugees – they were Mayala and Brin. When the man saw them, he halted his movements completely.
“Good humie! Stand right where you are, or they die!” The cutthroat threatened. It seemed he had already healed the wound left by a shade with a potion. And now, instead of running away, he intended to use the captured family to extort the hero. For what purpose, though?
“Oh, great! Finally, someone, who speaks a human language!” Keyaruga wouldn’t be swayed by that. Why would he, actually? As it stood now, he could simply send a spell of light through the mother or the daughter, run closer, heal them…
Why should I even care? It’d only hurt for a moment, nothing really…
“Good! And stay there, little shit.” Well, turned out, it worked. The healer lowered his saber.
“Or what? You kill them? See those burning pines, pal? I just killed all of your friends. By the way, Gramgrim is no more. I bet Caladrius has already eaten all of their corpses.”
“Hah, no shit, clever boy! Then where is she?! HE-E-EY!!! CALADRIUS!!! OVER HE-E-ERE!!! See?” Sadly, the bat-fencer remained completely unfazed by the news. He still had an advantage – Keyaruga seemed to care for the weeping family, and that was his weakness. “Drop your sword, then get on your knees, or I’ll take their fucking heads!”
“How enticing…” The man wondered with a nervous grin. He spun his weapon once, and pointed it to the ground. Mayala and Brin looked at him, their black eyes conveyed terror and distress. And still, there was a glimpse of hope. Keyaruga could do a miracle. He would save them, just like he saved the girl from the terminal rabies. “Will you set them free if I surrender?”
“Yau! (yeah!)” The swordsman grinned, drawing his reddish blade closer to their necks. “Drop your iron!”
Ha-ha-ha-hah! Oh, what should I do? What should I make?
“Hey, I’ve got a better idea. How about I kill myself?” And just like that, the healer pointed his own weapon at his chest, sowing dread in the hearts of the hostages and careless amusement in their captor.
“What? He-heh! Go ahead, humie, I’ll watch!” The bastard chuckled, slightly lowering his massive blade. This nasty glee grew only greater, when…
“Heh, I’m serious!” …the red-eyed lad plunged his own saber through his chest. To deep, in fact, that only the handle now stuck out from his torso.
“KEYARUGA-SONA!!!”
“UA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!”
“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You’re fucking hilarious!”
Three reactions, one of terror, one of tears, and the last one of irrepressible laughter – Keyaruga spat a chunk of blood, such a wound could never really kill him, and yet, it allowed for a safe movement. One, two, three steps – as long as he pretended to limp forward like a dying fool, the enemy would never stop him from approaching. He liked the view, liked seeing the man bleeding and coughing his own lungs out. He even…
A beam. A beam of white energy just flew right besides his head. It took a moment for the cutthroat to get, what was going on, but when he did, when he understood, that some distant caster could take off his head…
“YOU FUCKER!!!” Then, the cowardly warrior grabbed his greatsword with a two-handed grip, swung it at the terrorized family… “I’LL KI-!” …and died. The last thing he saw, felt, and tasted – was the trident that pierced his neck and head from the back.
2023.06.02 14:19 MzHmmz High quality "advanced" sources of information/advice on diet/nutrition/gut health etc for those with an ileostomy?
I know there is lots of general advice out there about eating post ileostomy, however I'm looking for something a bit "higher level" than the generic information available.
I have always been extremely interested in food and nutrition, and prior to my surgery I worked hard to prioritise gut health and good nutrition. Obviously it wasn't enough to stop me losing my colon, however it did manage to keep me relatively stable for a long time in spite of the fact that pharmaceuticals weren't working for me, defying the doctors' predictions of doom! I only got the surgery because I got fed up of not being well, rather than because my Crohn's was *really* bad - I spent a long time on a frustrating plateau of "meh" healthwise where I was never "well" but rarely felt seriously ill.
I'm the kind of person who reads journal articles to learn more, and although I've found a few articles addressing issues like nutrient deficiencies in ileostomates (e.g. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9862496/), there doesn't appear to be huge amounts of academic literature (that I can find, and where the full text is available on open access, anyway), and it's always nice to have some slightly more accessible information that distils research data into something more readable in addition to the academic sources, anyway.
My doctors and the dieticians etc haven't been particularly helpful in this respect, they are more focused on the basic generic advice and don't seem overly concerned with nutrition & gut health etc beyond this, or even particularly knowledgeable about it!
I'm very keen to do all I can to protect my remaining gut, but the information available seems even more scarce on this topic, for instance the issue of whether there's any point at all in concerning myself with my microbiome seems to be completely unresearched! Obviously the vast majority of the gut microbiome resides in our large intestine, but our small intestine does still have a microbiome too, and there seems to be some vague consensus that our small intestine takes over some of this function to a limited degree when our colon is removed, but there is very little info out there at all on this subject as far as I can tell!
And a lot of information about gut health doesn't seem to make any clear distinction between the small & large intestine, which obviously isn't very helpful for those of us missing one of them!
I'm sure I can't be the only person interested in this stuff, so I'm thinking there must be *someone* out there who has written a few relevant blog posts or something like that which could be a starting point! Or a researcher who is working on this topic who tweets about it occasionally... or SOMETHING!?! ANYTHING??? It just feels like a bit of a wilderness compared to all the information I had access to previously!!
submitted by MzHmmz to CrohnsDisease [link] [comments]
I have always been extremely interested in food and nutrition, and prior to my surgery I worked hard to prioritise gut health and good nutrition. Obviously it wasn't enough to stop me losing my colon, however it did manage to keep me relatively stable for a long time in spite of the fact that pharmaceuticals weren't working for me, defying the doctors' predictions of doom! I only got the surgery because I got fed up of not being well, rather than because my Crohn's was *really* bad - I spent a long time on a frustrating plateau of "meh" healthwise where I was never "well" but rarely felt seriously ill.
I'm the kind of person who reads journal articles to learn more, and although I've found a few articles addressing issues like nutrient deficiencies in ileostomates (e.g. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9862496/), there doesn't appear to be huge amounts of academic literature (that I can find, and where the full text is available on open access, anyway), and it's always nice to have some slightly more accessible information that distils research data into something more readable in addition to the academic sources, anyway.
My doctors and the dieticians etc haven't been particularly helpful in this respect, they are more focused on the basic generic advice and don't seem overly concerned with nutrition & gut health etc beyond this, or even particularly knowledgeable about it!
I'm very keen to do all I can to protect my remaining gut, but the information available seems even more scarce on this topic, for instance the issue of whether there's any point at all in concerning myself with my microbiome seems to be completely unresearched! Obviously the vast majority of the gut microbiome resides in our large intestine, but our small intestine does still have a microbiome too, and there seems to be some vague consensus that our small intestine takes over some of this function to a limited degree when our colon is removed, but there is very little info out there at all on this subject as far as I can tell!
And a lot of information about gut health doesn't seem to make any clear distinction between the small & large intestine, which obviously isn't very helpful for those of us missing one of them!
I'm sure I can't be the only person interested in this stuff, so I'm thinking there must be *someone* out there who has written a few relevant blog posts or something like that which could be a starting point! Or a researcher who is working on this topic who tweets about it occasionally... or SOMETHING!?! ANYTHING??? It just feels like a bit of a wilderness compared to all the information I had access to previously!!
2023.06.02 14:19 mybigfatgreekaffect Veganism is the most violent and alienated form of contemporary cultural psychosis
Legit it makes perfect sense not to eat animals, there is sound moral reasoning behind it etc etc, totally valid, the most valid thing, but the idea that you would show up at someone’s house and if they offered you meat you wouldn’t take it is just bizarre, even a religious maniac in the 3rd century, if they travelled to a foreign country and were offered food, however much that food offended their beliefs, they would eat it, based on the fact that hospitality, welcoming a person into your version of the human community, is sacred, is an absolute moral condition of any worthwhile form of human life, and this is basic fact which has been understood universally since the dawn of time. Not only refusing to eat what you are offered but making an implicit moral judgement of the person offering it to you, despite accepting their hospitality in general, is making a conscious decision to dissolve the fabric of human sociality. Like, they killed it, it’s their fucking sin – if you don’t eat it, it means they sinned for nothing, it means you are mocking their sin.
I don’t know, it’s just utterly maniacal. If it were not for the possibility of absolute hospitality, there would be no point in being alive, so in a sense anyone who is vegan is actually EATING ME, they are eating my life, my hope, they are consuming it, they are chewing it slowly and looking at me in the face with mocking eyes, they have come to my house to feast on my only source of hope while sitting right in front me. The only thing worse than cannibalism is cannibalism of the soul, the soul which can only rest in the possibility of absolute human hospitality, a possibility which vegans have turned into a form of personal moral nutrition, it’s what keeps them going, they live on the by-products of the death of human hope, a death which they enact with ostensible pleasure. So yeah not cool bro
submitted by mybigfatgreekaffect to redscarepod [link] [comments]
I don’t know, it’s just utterly maniacal. If it were not for the possibility of absolute hospitality, there would be no point in being alive, so in a sense anyone who is vegan is actually EATING ME, they are eating my life, my hope, they are consuming it, they are chewing it slowly and looking at me in the face with mocking eyes, they have come to my house to feast on my only source of hope while sitting right in front me. The only thing worse than cannibalism is cannibalism of the soul, the soul which can only rest in the possibility of absolute human hospitality, a possibility which vegans have turned into a form of personal moral nutrition, it’s what keeps them going, they live on the by-products of the death of human hope, a death which they enact with ostensible pleasure. So yeah not cool bro
2023.06.02 14:16 MzHmmz High quality "advanced" sources of information/advice on diet/nutrition/gut health etc for those with an ileostomy?
I know there is lots of general advice out there about eating post ileostomy, however I'm looking for something a bit "higher level" than the generic information available.
I have always been extremely interested in food and nutrition, and prior to my surgery I worked hard to prioritise gut health and good nutrition. Obviously it wasn't enough to stop me losing my colon, however it did manage to keep me relatively stable for a long time in spite of the fact that pharmaceuticals weren't working for me, defying the doctors' predictions of doom! I only got the surgery because I got fed up of not being well, rather than because my Crohn's was *really* bad - I spent a long time on a frustrating plateau of "meh" healthwise where I was never "well" but rarely felt seriously ill.
I'm the kind of person who reads journal articles to learn more, and although I've found a few articles addressing issues like nutrient deficiencies in ileostomates (e.g. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9862496/), there doesn't appear to be huge amounts of academic literature (that I can find, and where the full text is available on open access, anyway), and it's always nice to have some slightly more accessible information that distils research data into something more readable in addition to the academic sources, anyway.
My doctors and the dieticians etc haven't been particularly helpful in this respect, they are more focused on the basic generic advice and don't seem overly concerned with nutrition & gut health etc beyond this, or even particularly knowledgeable about it!
I'm very keen to do all I can to protect my remaining gut, but the information available seems even more scarce on this topic, for instance the issue of whether there's any point at all in concerning myself with my microbiome seems to be completely unresearched! Obviously the vast majority of the gut microbiome resides in our large intestine, but our small intestine does still have a microbiome too, and there seems to be some vague consensus that our small intestine takes over some of this function to a limited degree when our colon is removed, but there is very little info out there at all on this subject as far as I can tell!
And a lot of information about gut health doesn't seem to make any clear distinction between the small & large intestine, which obviously isn't very helpful for those of us missing one of them!
I'm sure I can't be the only person interested in this stuff, so I'm thinking there must be *someone* out there who has written a few relevant blog posts or something like that which could be a starting point! Or a researcher who is working on this topic who tweets about it occasionally... or SOMETHING!?! ANYTHING??? It just feels like a bit of a wilderness compared to all the information I had access to previously!!
submitted by MzHmmz to ostomy [link] [comments]
I have always been extremely interested in food and nutrition, and prior to my surgery I worked hard to prioritise gut health and good nutrition. Obviously it wasn't enough to stop me losing my colon, however it did manage to keep me relatively stable for a long time in spite of the fact that pharmaceuticals weren't working for me, defying the doctors' predictions of doom! I only got the surgery because I got fed up of not being well, rather than because my Crohn's was *really* bad - I spent a long time on a frustrating plateau of "meh" healthwise where I was never "well" but rarely felt seriously ill.
I'm the kind of person who reads journal articles to learn more, and although I've found a few articles addressing issues like nutrient deficiencies in ileostomates (e.g. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9862496/), there doesn't appear to be huge amounts of academic literature (that I can find, and where the full text is available on open access, anyway), and it's always nice to have some slightly more accessible information that distils research data into something more readable in addition to the academic sources, anyway.
My doctors and the dieticians etc haven't been particularly helpful in this respect, they are more focused on the basic generic advice and don't seem overly concerned with nutrition & gut health etc beyond this, or even particularly knowledgeable about it!
I'm very keen to do all I can to protect my remaining gut, but the information available seems even more scarce on this topic, for instance the issue of whether there's any point at all in concerning myself with my microbiome seems to be completely unresearched! Obviously the vast majority of the gut microbiome resides in our large intestine, but our small intestine does still have a microbiome too, and there seems to be some vague consensus that our small intestine takes over some of this function to a limited degree when our colon is removed, but there is very little info out there at all on this subject as far as I can tell!
And a lot of information about gut health doesn't seem to make any clear distinction between the small & large intestine, which obviously isn't very helpful for those of us missing one of them!
I'm sure I can't be the only person interested in this stuff, so I'm thinking there must be *someone* out there who has written a few relevant blog posts or something like that which could be a starting point! Or a researcher who is working on this topic who tweets about it occasionally... or SOMETHING!?! ANYTHING??? It just feels like a bit of a wilderness compared to all the information I had access to previously!!
2023.06.02 14:07 veganitybot [Video] NutritionFacts.org - Friday Favorites: Cut the Calorie-Rich-And-Processed Foods
![[Video] NutritionFacts.org - Friday Favorites: Cut the Calorie-Rich-And-Processed Foods](https://external-preview.redd.it/LVN3GLfPblE7p6ilSzb99nALMVUH0B7wXc-gptEMSxE.jpg?width=320&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=21248cf05f605f73af40d116e01148c623d27160 "[Video] NutritionFacts.org - Friday Favorites: Cut the Calorie-Rich-And-Processed Foods") | submitted by veganitybot to Veganity [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 14:01 EcoLogicCrusader Exquisite Fusion Ramen
Ramen, a beloved and quintessential part of Japanese cuisine, has gained international acclaim for its comforting and savory flavors. I’ve always been a fan of traditional Japanese dishes and have since done my best to recreate them as authentically as I can. However, that doesn’t stop me from looking for ways to infuse creativity into my cooking. What has fascinated me about Japanese cooking is the variety of ingredients used that are meant to infuse the umami flavor into their dishes. Which brings me to this recipe I’m sharing. It’s not the most original or innovative, but it has since been a beloved comfort food for me. It’s my ramen recipe that combines traditional Japanese elements with a fusion twist. Here’s the recipe:
Ingredients:
Prepare the broth:
Your Fusion Ramen is now ready to be savored. Serve it piping hot and invite your guests to mix the ingredients together, allowing the flavors to blend harmoniously. The combination of umami-rich broth, tender noodles, succulent chicken or tofu, and vibrant vegetables will create a symphony of tastes that will leave your taste buds dancing. Happy cooking!
submitted by EcoLogicCrusader to japanesecooking [link] [comments]
Ingredients:
- 2 packs of ramen noodles
- 4 cups of chicken or vegetable broth
- 1 tablespoon sesame oil
- 2 cloves of garlic, minced
- 1-inch piece of ginger, grated
- 2 tablespoons soy sauce
- 1 tablespoon miso paste
- 1 teaspoon chili paste (optional for spice lovers)
- 1 cup sliced mushrooms (shiitake or cremini)
- 1 cup sliced carrots
- 1 cup baby bok choy, halved
- 1 cup thinly sliced cooked chicken or tofu
- 2 soft-boiled eggs
- 2 green onions, thinly sliced
- Sesame seeds for garnish
Prepare the broth:
- In a large pot, heat the sesame oil over medium heat. Add the minced garlic and grated ginger, sautéing for a minute until fragrant.
- Pour in the chicken or vegetable broth, soy sauce, miso paste, and chili paste (if desired). Stir well to combine the flavors.
- Bring the broth to a gentle simmer and let it cook for about 15 minutes to allow the flavors to meld together.
- While the broth is simmering, cook the ramen noodles according to the package instructions. Drain and set aside.
- In a separate pan, sauté the sliced mushrooms and carrots over medium heat until they begin to soften.
- Add the baby bok choy and continue cooking for a few more minutes until the vegetables are tender.
- Divide the cooked noodles into serving bowls. Ladle the hot broth over the noodles, making sure to cover them entirely.
- Arrange the cooked chicken or tofu on top of the noodles.
- Place the sautéed vegetables on one side of the bowl.
- Cut the soft-boiled eggs in half and add them to the other side of the bowl.
- Garnish with sliced green onions and a sprinkle of sesame seeds.
Your Fusion Ramen is now ready to be savored. Serve it piping hot and invite your guests to mix the ingredients together, allowing the flavors to blend harmoniously. The combination of umami-rich broth, tender noodles, succulent chicken or tofu, and vibrant vegetables will create a symphony of tastes that will leave your taste buds dancing. Happy cooking!
2023.06.02 13:51 cuddlefuckmenow Desk Drinks, TGIF edition!
submitted by cuddlefuckmenow to adhdwomen [link] [comments]
2023.06.02 12:48 Infamous-Finding Green Tea Matcha Cookies
Ingredients:
submitted by Infamous-Finding to sweetrecipes [link] [comments]
- 1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 tablespoon green tea matcha powder
- 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1/4 cup packed light brown sugar
- 1 large egg
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- Optional: white chocolate chips, chopped nuts, or dried cranberries for added flavor and texture
- Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
- In a bowl, whisk together the flour, green tea matcha powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
- In a separate mixing bowl, cream together the softened butter, granulated sugar, and brown sugar until light and fluffy.
- Add the egg and vanilla extract to the butter-sugar mixture. Beat until well combined.
- Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, mixing until just combined. Be careful not to overmix the dough.
- If desired, fold in any optional mix-ins like white chocolate chips, chopped nuts, or dried cranberries.
- Scoop rounded tablespoons of dough onto the prepared baking sheet, spacing them about 2 inches apart.
- Flatten each dough ball slightly with the bottom of a glass or the palm of your hand.
- Bake in the preheated oven for 10-12 minutes, or until the edges of the cookies are lightly golden.
- Remove the baking sheet from the oven and let the cookies cool on the sheet for a few minutes. Then transfer them to a wire rack to cool completely.
- Once the Green Tea Matcha Cookies have cooled, enjoy them with a cup of green tea or store them in an airtight container for later enjoyment.
2023.06.02 12:38 xPaahdin POV: you want to taste some prime but you live in the santa claus country
 | submitted by xPaahdin to Sidemen [link] [comments] |
2023.06.02 12:34 Segat1133 Peppa Pig looks.....a bit off
 | submitted by Segat1133 to funny [link] [comments] |