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For context, I was having a conversation with one of my friends about this guy I had an unofficial relationship/friendship with about a year and a half ago. I was also talking to her about how being bullied affected me, but more specifically affected my gpa from sophomore year (we're both currently juniors). At some point during the conversation she said to me; "you were being abused." and I kind of laughed about it, I said something like it really isn't that serious like people do shitty things to each other all the time, but I wouldn't call it abuse. And she said, "No, you were being verbally abused." And I was kind of like that's a little dramatic but okay. In these last few weeks, I did a lot of research about abuse and trauma and honestly I was kind of shocked. I resonated with almost every single article I found and I even took quizzes or screenings about abuse and every single one told that it was emotional abuse. It seems wrong to call the relationship I was in and the way I was treated abusive because than I have to accept that that person didn't genuinely love me and honestly could care less about me or if they did love or care for me at all they wouldn't treat me like that. But it's so complicated because there's always room for discussion. I made mistakes too. The guy was a teenager, so was I. I did things wrong too and I didn't always know how to communicate properly. Who knows maybe deep down he did care but didn't express it properly or was too immature to show it. But truthfully I remember during the course of that friendship/relationship I just remember I was in a lot of emotional pain and under a lot of stress but I never really knew why. No one ever told me that someone telling you no one loves or cares about you is wrong, or being told that you're stupid is wrong, or being blamed for everything is wrong, being told that you're selfish or that you overreact about everything, saying one thing and doing the exact opposite etc, is wrong and someone who loves you shouldn't do those things (romantically, platonically, etc).
I was thinking about it for a long time and I came to realize that the reason I could not accept that maybe this person I loved and cared about so deeply did actually emotionally abuse me was because that would mean accepting that my parents did as well. And it made me realize that I never questioned it or just assumed it was normal or that eventually he would stop or things would work out was because that's what I'd known my entire life. I always assumed that the problems I had with my parents or strained relationships were just normal, and a part of growing up and my parents were just strict and it was something I had to deal with. And yeah, to an extent there were things that were simply normal and parts of growing up, but I only recently remembered a shit ton of things from my childhood that I kind of repressed as well as things that happened recently, and I never once reconsidered the fact that it might've actually been fucked up. It's weird because it's so easy to brush everything under the carpet because they're my parents, and I just have to assume that everything they're doing is well-meaning, even if I don't like all of it. And because they're my parents they're family and it's kind of a loyalty thing that no one should disown or estrange themselves from their parents because they're trying their best unless of course, in extreme cases. Recently for my own processing of things I started writing down in a bullet point kind of format things from my childhood or things that happened that make me upset or uneasy, but I'm not sure still if I overreacted or misremembered these things or it was actually bad. Disclaimer: I understand that I have a lot to be grateful for, both my parents are alive and living in the same household, not addicted to anything, don't physically hurt me. I have friends and I know several people with really unfortunate living situations or family problems and I'm sure that is the case for many people here as well so I truly don't mean to come across as an ungrateful brat but I just need some kind of closure or understanding about my life.

• I have a lot of good memories with my siblings and general/extended family but yet when I try to think of good memories with my mom or dad I honestly blank. I know that they loved me but I never really felt loved and I always doubted whether they genuinely loved me or felt like there was something wrong with me.
• I remember my mom used to take my brother on these adventures around the city on weekends, sometimes just him, sometimes him and his friend, and I'd beg to come along but my mom refused and I just remember feeling so left out all the time and trying so hard to be included with my mom and brother
• I remember my mom would constantly compare me to my brother or unintentionally put me down. for example during an online parent teacher conference for math, in which I had been struggling in, (this was about a year ago) My mom spent so much time talking about how my brother is so smart and strong at math to the point where my math teacher said, "I didn't like being compared to my siblings growing up so I don't comparison is really helping" in which my mom went on to say she wasn't comparing us at all. On other occasions, during family dinnegrace, my mom would say something she's thankful for about my brother and younger sister and a lot of times just simply forget to include me-or she couldn't think of anything to be proud of me for? i'm not sure tbh
• I remember on many occasions I would start crying or asking my parents (but specifically my mom) just genuinely confused and hurt as to why they loved my brother and sister more. They would always tell me I was being crazy or ridiculous and that wasn't true but they treated me much differently than them and honestly I just remember feeling like everything I did even as a child was wrong.
• I remember my mom would constantly accuse me of stuff, sometimes small, sometimes bigger things, but a lot of the times it wouldn't even make sense. One time before a family vacation a few years ago, they were bringing a white wine to my grandparent's house as a gift. They found when they took the wine from the wine cooler to put in the car I guess the seal had broken or some of the wine was gone? I'm not 100% sure. They started screaming at me and accusing me of drinking the wine that was a gift for my grandparents, saying how I ruined the trip and how I always create problems. I was about 13 at the time and never had a drop of alcohol in my life, the thought had never even crossed my mine. I think i was crying in the car during the drive to my grandparent's house because my parents were mad at me, and my dad kept screaming at me to shut up and stop crying, I remember my siblings were upset as well because of this, I think I got punished for it too. My mom would also accuse me of taking her clothes and hiding them, money, etc, which almost 100 percent of the time I didn't do. It wasn't even just the accusing it just felt like my mom would blame me for a lot of obscure things or just pin everything on me. If the counter had a stain-must've been from me. A glass left on the counter? Laundry fell off the rack? My mom's coat fell off the hanger? Just things that seem unimportant my mom would get mad at me for or automatically blame me for things that weren't necessarily my fault or having to do with me at all.
• When my mom would get mad I could always tell. I'm not sure if this is common or not but I became very good at listening to footsteps around the house. I could tell whose footsteps were my moms, dads, brothers, sisters. And I could also tell if someone was mad by listening to their footsteps. When my dad was mad he was more upfront about it, angry yelling and aggressive but he'd calm down and than he'd be fine and pleasant to be around. But with my mom it was more complicated. It was like walking on eggshells because one second I'd feel like okay and even comfortable around my mother but it never lasted because all it took was me saying one wrong thing or doing one wrong thing or something unrelated to me entirely for that to change her entire mood. If I heard my mom's "angry footsteps" I immediately would try to clean up my room, hide my phone, computer, anything that would make her mad, or provoke her in the slightest. If she was in a bad mood she didn't hold back from yelling and insulting everyone, but I probably got the worst of it out of everyone. At times for no reason at all she stomp into my room screaming at me for being lazy, irresponsible, how I ruin the family or I don't contribute or help her at all, how I waste my time, or how I'm selfish or how I'm stupid and I don't work hard or try at anything. Sometimes she'd straight up insult me or other times she would mock me or kind of make fun of me for something random.
• I remember one time my mom got so mad at me and my brother when we shared a room for making a mess in the room (we were probably like 6 and 8) that she threw a chair across the room and it broke my favorite toy horse. I remember crying about it because I loved that horse and when I brought it up days later she’d claim she’d never broken it and I must’ve. I remember the horse was hot pink and plastic. She broke one of it’s legs so it couldn’t stand up on it’s own anymore.
• A few months ago my school had what they called regents week. A week where most students have off in ny high schools, unless, obviously, they have to take regents, in which they would come into the building at a set time during the week for their exam. My school additionally offers office hours during regents week where students can come in for extra help or to make up assignments, or if they're failing a course to do extra credit work. The only thing I was required to go in for that week was an Algebra regents I had never taken in middle school and had to do now. I wasn't failing any courses and most my grades were over 90, with the exception of my math grade which was in the 70s. My mom wanted to know the previous night what my schedule was that week for school. I explained to her (this was a monday night) that I had regents wednesday afternoon so I planned on spending all day studying for it at home tuesday, and after my regents, I had the rest of the week off. She seemed to understand and went to bed. I'm woken up at 6 am to my dad yelling at me saying I have to go to school and my mom as well. I'm so confused and I'm trying to explain to my parents that they're mistaken and I'm not supposed to go to school at all. They're screaming at me how I'm failing math and I'm failing at everything and I'm a joke and I'm so tired and confused and than I'm half asleep arguing with my mom about something we had already discussed the night before. My dad leaves for work, my mom spends the entire morning screaming at me until my head is pounding. She doesn't believe me, she doesn't believe I'm not failing math or I'm not supposed to go to school, she thinks I am trying to skip school and my friend (who has nothing to do with this in the slightest) is influencing me to do so. Meanwhile I just want to study for my exam. At some point I have a breakdown on the floor of my closet and my mom comes in to take my laptop (she already took my phone), and I'm sobbing on my closet floor and I'm exhausted and she starts dumping out my schoolbag and purse and throwing all my stuff around my room. She yanks open the closet door and starts yelling about how I'm a freak and how if I dont go to school I can't live here and she wants me out of her house and essentially kicks me out and says she doesn't want to see me. She storms out o the house, at this point, I can't even reference the study materials without my laptop or prep for my exam the next day. I get dressed and start packing up my stuff to stay at a friends house and while folding clothes on my bed I fall asleep because I'm genuinely so tired. My dad comes home from work at some point trying to negotiate with me and than when starts yelling at me and than leaves again. I finally finish packing up my stuff. My mom comes home, I realize I have to babysit that afternoon. I tell my mom I need my phone to babysit. I tell her to give me my phone when I need to leave, at 3:45. She winds up giving me my phone at 3:51, and I;m late for babysitting. I ask her how I am supposed to study for my regents without my computer, and she throws a book at me. I leave for babysitting, meet up with the friend I was going to stay with,where I'm talking to them about the situation. We get food and i'm planning to pick up my stuff from the hallway of my apartment and head to my friend's house, but my mom is emailing back and forth with my teacher, where he essentially confirms they made an error and I can come into school if I want to but I'm not close to failing the course nor am I required to. I text my mom teling her I'm staying at my friends, and she tells me I "cant run away from my problems," even though she literally kicked me out. My mom texts my friends mom angirly and tells her how I am "running away" and how I'm "not allowed to stay there." Eventually I text my mom and I tell her I will do whatever she wants and attend these office hours for the rest of the week if she lets me stay at my friend's house and leaves me alone. She eventually gets me to come home because I started to feel bad and she says she made chili for me. She never wound up apologizing for that entire situation and continued to do similar things.
• My mom also last night got mad at me for not finishing my dinner, as I'm trying to sleep, storms into my room and takes my gum from my nightstand, accusing me of eating "junk" in my room instead of dinner meanwhile it's literally just gum, gets mad at me for moving my nightstand closer to my bed, leaves my room. Comes back into my room 10 minutes later as I'm about to fall asleep and says "You just hate everyone!" "Why do you hate everyone?" meanwhile I haven't done anything except not finish my dinner because i genuinely wasn't hungry. Than she says "Oh-except your little friends!!" and leaves my room.
• My mom also has a habit of constantly taking my phone and reading all my texts and messages and looking at my recent phone calls and just overrall invading my privacy. She'll also block people or friends of mine (without even telling me) she doesn't like or doesn't want me talking to and downright stop me from hanging out with people unless she likes them. I've lost several friendships with people because of her doing this.
• My mom constantly calls me things like a "drama queen or cry baby" anytime I cry in front of her. Or she'll just roll her eyes at me when I've been upset. She says how I find a problem with everything and how I'm ungrateful or negative or full of hate. She'll tell me things like how I'm not good enough or doing good enough in school, tell me no one likes me because of certain things. When I try to talk to her genuinely she'll ignore me or put her radio on full blast or lock herself in her room. She'll mock me for my interests like theater or make me feel about being excited about a song or a lipstick. She'll tell me how I don't work hard or I'm going to fail or not get into any good colleges.
• At some point I was pretty mad at my mom and I texted my friend why I was upset at her. (I also told almost everything I texted my friend, to my mom directly, and she didn't care) and later that day, my mom takes my phone, reads these texts. Tells me how I'm full of hatred and I'm a bad person and disrespectful to my family. At dinner it comes up and she disowns me saying how "she doesnt have a daughter" and I treat her so badly so she has no respect for me. She gave me the silent treatment for 2 weeks after that point, telling me I'm only allowed to contact my dad but than got annoyed at me at some point for not responding to her text?
• On my 16th birthday her and my dad kind of slut shamed me for the dress I was wearing, it was a black loose mini dress with white lace at the top. However, i was wearing a cardigan over it and tights and boots. I had been really excited to wear the dress and go to dinner for my birthday, and my dad sayts "you can't wear that, show your mother." my mom says my dress is "so inappropriate" for a family restaruant and basically implies I will embarrass the family. The entire birthday dinner I felt really shitty and my parents spent the majority of it talking about my brother
• Whenever I did something wrong as a child my parents would threaten to put me in foster care, tell me I have psychological problems, or that something was wrong with me, that i was ruining the family, or that they were calling the police or having someone come take me away if I didn't stop crying. They would say how they couldn't handle me or how I embarrased them or I needed to stay away from my siblings like I was some kind of monster. I just remember I would be sobbing as a child and like truly feeling like I wanted to die and that's probably the reason I feel so unlovable and worthless and like a burden to this day. I remember I would tell my parents I could live somewhere else or with another family member and maybe they would love me and they would basically tell me that no one would want to have me in their family and that I would get harrassed or abused in foster care. Obviously this terrified me as a child so I would do everything I could to get them to love me or be apart of my family. I remember so many nights I would fall asleep as a child not knowing if one day they might actually get rid of me for good or wondering if I could be loved by anyone in the world at all. (My siblings loved me very much but this was just how I felt)
• My dad was especially mean to me on family vacations for whatever reason, maybe he would feel stressed being at his parents house. One time we all stayed up watching a movie and we were eating candy on the couch. I didn't realize I had dropped a raisinet and it smudged on the side of the couch. Obviously I felt horrible and I immediately got up to fix it when I noticed, unfortunately my dad noticed as well. He was screaming at me for hours while I was hiding behind a table sobbing apologizing. He was saying how I was never going to be allowed to see my grandparents again, how I ruined everything, how I cost thousands of dollars, how the stain was never coming off, how I needed to shut up and be quiet because my grandparents were asleep (meanwhile h ewas the person screaming at me). I kept apologizing over and over again and saying how I don't have thousands of dollars (I was a child) but I would fix it. The stain wound up coming off after a few minutes of scrubbing. my dad never apologized in the slightest and i'm pretty sure he was still mad at me days following that event.
• I remember one time my parents threatened to kick me out of the house, I honestly can't even remember why, and my dad threw my suitcase at my head. I don't think it was aimed to hit me but it did hit me.
• When I was younger and my dad got mad at me he used to drag me around the house if I didn't sit where he wanted me to or do exactly as he wanted. He would drag me around the house by my wrist/arm or sometimes ankles and I would scream that he was hurting me or to let go of me and he didn't stop until I started crying usually. I would scream for my mom to help me or to get my dad to stop and she usually didn't do anything. I feel horrible looking back because I remember a lot of times my little sister would witness this and start crying because of how my dad was acting or because she saw me crying or in pain.
• My dad also used to sometimes squeeze my brother or I's noses or ears when we did something he didn;t like. It became a joke between my brother and I as a child but it was really weird.
• I remember one time a few years ago my dad barged into my room around 10pm yelling at me about how I needed to go to bed. He turned the lights off and slammed the door to my room. I got up to turn the lights back on because I still had to finish my schoolwork and than before I even got back across the room to sit down he stormed back into my room to grab me my wrist and yank me out of my room and tried to drag me out of the apartment by my wrist because I turned the lights back on and wasn't listening to him.
• my mom also made a lot of empty promises to me as a child, like places she would take me or things she'd do. she never fullfilled any of those promises and a lot of times when I brought them up she'd straight up deny she ever said that.
• At some point during the pandemic, I was really struggling with eating as well as some kind of social anxiety.I was sitting on my parent's bed and I was trying to tell my dad how sad I felt seeing all these friends and friendgroups while on vacation, because, truth to be told, I lost a lot of my friends over the pandemic due to the circumstances and just anxiety I guess. While I was talking to my dad I started crying because I realized how truly lonely I felt and like I had no one there for me or no one liked me, a lot of this was self esteem issues as well and I hated a lot of things about my appearance and so struggling with eating was related. My dad started screaming at me calling me stupid and saying how I don't know how friendships work and I expect things without putting the work in.
• When I was 12 I was being bullied and going through a difficult time at school and I cut myself, not because I truly wanted to but honestly I was in a lot of stress and pain and no one ever really taught me how to cope with emotions or who I could turn to and I just wanted to see if I'd feel better. A few weeks after I wound up going to the hospital (a one day trip) because of it. I remember afterwards my mom asking me what are you going to tell people when they ask? What are you going to tell people about your arm? And i remember telling her I’d tell them I’d fell on a grate while running on the sidewalk. And I think she was satisfied with that answer because I couldn’t really think of anything better. I remember the school or guidance counselor? I think) called my mom that monday after school and apparently she needed to take me to the hospital or they’d call the police because I told my friends at the time that I wanted to die, who told my counselor. I remember my mom sister and I taking an uber to the hospital. I remember sitting in the uber in dead silence. I remember my mom telling me at some point that she needed to do her work and that I was wasting her time. I remember asking her why couldn’t we go to a regular doctors because I didn’t want to be taken to a hospital and I didn’t mean to drag everyone into this mess of mine. I remember my mom rolling her eyes when she told me she had to take me to the hospital like I was just some nuisance to her. I remember my mom was referred to a bunch of therapists and specialists I remember weeks had passed with no mention of the incident like nothing had happened at all. I remember asking my mom why she hadn’t gotten me a therapist or if I was going to see a therapist soon and she just told me I didn’t need one and that I was fine. At some point she told me I was just seeking for attention. On the counter someone left out a medical bill for the ambulance from the visit and it was over 5,000 dollars. I remember telling my mom I saw the bill and that I didn’t realize it was so expensive and I felt horrible. I remember her saying yeah. You see how expensive it is now? I think after that it was never brought up again. For a few months after my mom hid all the razors and stuff in the house and I wasn’t allowed to be left home alone for a month or two. But other than that it was never mentioned again.
  
• At some point I started cutting myself again. I was very very careful about hiding this from family and friends especially my mother. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone and I especially didn't want her to view me more as a monster or have more reason to dislike me or look down on me. At some point she saw my shoulder in the bathroom of a hotel as I left the door unlocked and was putting on my jacket. My sister saw as well. I didn't realize in that lighting how noticeable it was but even so i tried to play it off. My sister had a disgusted expression and asked what happened to my arm. I laughed and said it was because I picked at my skin but my mom saw and I could tell she didn't buy it. She said it was really weird and gross and I felt honestly horrendous. In the drive home, she brought it up again out of blue during an argument and said "why is your skin all cut up" and i was like what are you talking about I just pick at my skin-and my dad was driving but he said "you need to rtake her to a doctor." my mom just ignored this and was picking at her nails the entire time, not caring
  

If you read all the way to the bottom just let me know your honest opinions and thoughts or if I'm overreacting about everything. It's strange because while I'm not particulary close with either one of my parents, I feel closer and more loved by my dad than my mom. I kind of accepted that my dad has some anger issues and a bad temper but he does genuinely care about me and love me he just can't always control himself. With my mom I hold much more resentment because I feel like she intentionally manipulates me and makes no efforts to change her behavior. I love my siblings very much and I plan on keeping close contact with them while in college but I don't know if I want to contact my parents after I move out, or how to even go about that. I don't even know what to talk to them about and it feels unnatural because they know so little about me as I don't trust them at all. I just want to know if I am being dramatic about this-like are these normal conflicts in every family or was I truly mistreated? I have a lot of self esteem issues and other issues about my self worth and the way I view myself and I never really considered until it now it might be because of the way I was treated by people my entire life.
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I only seen a short video of it but it creates vapor from concentrate (I believe)and the Reddit user just drank it like like a wine glass. I don’t know if it good but like the concept. Thanks in advance.

According to her - She is not, in fact, drunk - I have made a religion out of Canadian indie rock band Arcade Fire (I prefer to finish songs, rather than stop one in the middle then listen to the next one; this is true regardless of the artist)

Okay okay okay. I live in a big city and there's a cafe that I'm a regular at on my street....it was bought by a new owner a month ago, whose a couple years older than me. From the first time I met him, I caught a vibe. He's the same background, race, ethnicity and religion as me. I got the feeling he got a vibe too and whenever I walk past his cafe we talk or when i walk into the cafe to get a coffee, he asks me about my day and tries to prolong the convo as long as possible.I know for a fact that he's unmarried and after stalking online I do think he is single.Last Thursday evening, after the gym, as I walked by his cafe to my apartment, he was sitting outside with a glass of wine and asked me if I want to get a glass too and we relaxed and drank together for two hours. He mentioned showing me around his neighborhood where he lives because my lease is ending in a couple months and eh recommended that neighborhood then got my number to make plans on that Saturday. His friend came over and he invited me out with them but I declined. Saturday, then, comes by and NOTHING. Then, I walk past his cafe on Sunday and he calls out to me from behind the counter and asks how my weekend was. I reply and go home because he never even texted me.Then Monday evening, he texts me around 5 PM says "Hey it's XXX, Whats up?!" in our native language. I take 5 hours to reply and then we have a short convo about our days and the convo ended after a couple texts. Since then I've stoped by his cafe two times to get a quick coffee and there is definitely a flirtatious energy between us, sexual tension and we laugh while talking to each other. He tries to get me to stay as long as possible to prolong convo as I'm walking out but idk if im imaginging it.I'm confused because I 100% can feel energy between us but I truly believe if a guy is REALLY interested, he'd make more of an effort and maybe he has some other romantic situation going on and im IMAGINING the energy from his side. WHAT DO I DO?! WHY would he ignore hanging out with me on Saturday and then not even discuss it and pretend like we never made plans but then texted me on Monday?

Hey, im slowly starting to get into star trek, and i wanna play games so i can enjoy the universe more. What games can i play that are good and lets me get into it. preferably something with a sense of progression

I've (40m) known my friend (41m) since birth as our mums were best friends at school.
A few year back I was out with my mum having dinner and after a few glasses of wine she tells me that my friend (lets call him dave) might have a different 'real' dad to whom he thinks he has. Dave's mum was having an affair with another guy when she got pregnant. She has never had a test to find out who the genetic father is, but she thinks it's probably this other guy.
The next day my mum made me swear that I never tell anyone what she told me. Dave's mum thinks that she would lose him if he ever found out that he had been 'lied' to his whole life .
Dave's parent broke up when he was very young and he has no relationship now with his 'dad'. I know that he finds this hard as he wants his kids to have a grandfather - but this guys that his mum continues to tells him is his dad has no interest in his family at all.
I'm like 99% sure that this is something that I have no right to tell him - and it's up to his mum. But, I also can't help think that i'm 'lying' to him all the time I spend with him.
WDYT?

So im looking for something set in space with action, adventure, cool effects, space battles, diffrent planets and worlds, and maybe some fantasy thrown in. I've seen the star wars movies, star trek movies, dune 2021, avatar movies, john carter, guardians of the galaxy movies, Jupiter ascending, the fith element, valerian and the city of a thousand planets, and flash gordon 1980. Anything else like this?

Hi, I've been a huge fan of Svengoolie since 2016. But since 2017, the schedule for the amazing show I loved and cherished, changed. When it aired on 10 PM after Star Trek, it was a perfect time for Sven. But 8 PM is where I have to politely say no to. I hope that they'll start airing Svengoolie at 10 PM again.

https://www.christies.com/en/auction/40-years-of-star-trek-the-collection-20723/?loadall=true&page=2&sortby=realisedprice_desc
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Christie's sold a shit load of stuff from across multiple series of Trek. Some of the prices are, in my honest opinion, mind boggling high at times. I think the "how the fuck would I even store/display that" piece will be cheaper, but sometimes you get a nice surprise. Ent-E Captain's chair for 62k??Piccard's flute for 48k?? A T'Pau costume for 54k!?!? Fascinating stuff...
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What shocks you from the list? For me, I'm shocked that Klingon prosthetics sold for the same price as call sheets.

Looks like a successor to BotF. Thoughts?
https://blog.trekcore.com/2023/06/paradox-interactive-announces-new-star-trek-infinite-strategy-game/