Casa amigos restaurant near me

I'm wanting to develop my abilities. If I really have them.
This is insanely long read. Like, holy wall of text batman. My apologies. (*/ω＼*)
I think whatever I'm experiencing goes as far back as my Oma, my grandmother. She always had a sense of just 'knowing' things. She told my mother when she was 16 years old that she knew everyone else but my mother would be coming to look for money when she dies. She said she'd never live past her father's age, always said she'd die in a hospital. She delayed her healthcare (10 years post Chernobyl metastasized thyroid cancer) in order to see us one last time, a friend of hers later revealed to my mother. She knew she was dying and she knew Christmas of '98 was her coming to say goodbye. (I was 8 years old)
When she was with us back then, my mother knew she was dying. Somehow she knew this was the last time she'd see her mother. She knew she was sick but not terminally.
Maybe it was the screams. My mother said two nights in a row Oma was screaming bloody murder in her sleep. She said she never wanted to hear those screams ever again. No one knows why it happened and she never woke herself up w/ them. My dad confirmed it as he was the first to hear it. He woke my mother up the second time so she could hear it for herself. !<
When she was back home in her own country, my Oma went in for surgery a month later. Complications struck. Somehow, this made my mother panic and she called her siblings saying they needed to go see her. She told them she was going to die. They told her the weather was bad, too much snow, ice. She was dead the next day. In the hospital. And not older than her father.
My mother called in and got the news from the hospital; complications post surgery took her. That same night, I saw my Oma. Mind you, I'm an ocean away. It was super late, middle of the night, taking a wee. I'm on the commode, door is open. In front of me lies a hallway spanning left to right, left my bedroom and my sister's, right my parents' bedroom. I was rubbing my eyes and then I look up again and see what I'm assuming was the ghost of my grandmother standing there, as if she was just coming from my parents' bedroom.
She was in one of her nightgowns. She was a sort of misty, pale, hazy beige but not opaque. Hard to describe. In that moment, everything stopped. For that split second, I felt nothing, thought nothing, heard nothing. I wasn't breathing. And then I blinked and it was all over. As if she had never been there at all.
I slept with all lights on in my bedroom until I was roughly 16 years old. I don't know how I got the courage to leave that bathroom but I remember RUNNING back to my room.
My mother had three nights of dreams in which my grandmother, her mother, told her she was ok where she is now, that she should never leave me or my sister alone in America in order to attend to a funeral, that she couldn't stay here anymore and that this was goodbye. My mother never dreamed of her again after the third night.
She called a bunch of those toll free hotline psychics (Not sure why exactly) and they all had various things to tell her. The third call, the psychic was saying that she had something really important to tell her but that she wasn't supposed to. The line suddenly went dead. My mother tried calling back and it was as if the number never exist. And they were never billed!! Trust me they went way past the first free few minutes you got. Didn't make a lick of sense. Should have been expensive asl. But nothing showed up on their bill. And they kept waiting for it lol
We moved a year later; my dad had to go back in the house the last night we were in town. I'm not sure what he went to grab but when he came back out he looked spooked. I had never seen my dad scared before. My mom asked him wth was going on and he said the house had a bunch of banging and muffled yelling. In the attic. No one lived there but us and no one had moved in as of yet. We still had keys ffs. He said it sounded like someone was 'throwin shit around' lol
Since then, I've felt stuff. Like, I get what I like to call good or bad juju from people or places 😂 I can 'feel' if someone is ok to be alone in a room with. I can pick up things. Emotions. From strangers, and I hate it so much. I was 15, walked right past this man at the grocery store and a thought crossed my mind; this man was going to take his life tonight. That TERRIFIED me. I questioned myself, like, are you makin this shit up? I wasn't but man, I questioned every single thing I was feeling.
I went to this new school once; one of MANY over the years. The gym teacher ; something felt OFF. Something said , felt, like I should not be near him, ever. He was looking friendly enough, selling cookies in the morning before the bell rang. Innocent, right? I was terrified of him; went out of my way to walk as far away as possible when passing him.
Few weeks later and I'm playing hooky, his face coming on the headline news; arrested for assaulting students. :')
I have always judged the 'vibes' correctly with every individual I've met. I've doubted myself so much; gaslit myself for YEARS only to be double crossed by the very same people I was trying to convince myself were angels. I kept telling myself it's just my anxiety or my introvert trait shit or anything! Anything but 'knowing'.
Oh, the shadow people. I've seen them for years. Out of the corner of my eye. One time, I was SO convinced they were my sisters playing pranks on me while I was doing housework. Come around the dining table, lift up the tablecloth, fully expecting two of them to be under there hiding in order to screw w/ my vacuuming efforts. There was nothing there. 🙃
One of my sisters (roughly 8 at the time) (in the same house w/ the dining table incident lol), was at the dining table one morning saying a blonde haired lady sat at the table was waving at her. She said it so casually, like she was talking about school or her breakfast. We were all like, lol, yeah, ok, blonde haired lady, gotcha.
Always felt the 'someone's watching me' vibe. On/off. Some places stronger than others. Some places more frequent than others. Have felt like my cats had climbed into bed w/ me and looked to find them across the room. Have felt like someone's sat down next to me on the bed even when I'm the only one in the room. I have felt my blanket move a couple times; no one was there in order for that to have happened.
One time, I had gotten an award for improving my GPA a lot in high school in my junior year. On the stage you came up, you'd say something in the mic and then double back to accept a bunch of certificates and coupons from a few important people on stage. One of them, a senior gentleman, instead of simply shaking my hand as he did the others, held my hand between the both of his and said to me, "there is a presence about you".
Why did he say this? No one knows. My mom noticed it happen; him holding my hand. Because he didn't do that with ANYONE ELSE. In the moment he did that, the noise was sucked out of the room. I felt like I had when I saw my grandmother that one night. I couldn't move, didn't think, judge, feel, hear. It was the strangest thing.
I've heard stuff go bump in the night. Some basements feel scarier than others. Some people give me the heebie jeebies. Cupboards slam in the kitchen but no one's there. Something feels like it might chase me away from a playground at night. Sometimes, I feel like someone or something is 'there'. But then it goes away.
Am I nuts? Or is there something here I can work with? I'm always hesitant to embrace it because of a few things;
I'm absolutely terrified of seeing anything , talking to anything. But that sucks cos like, if it's real, if this is real, something is ALREADY THERE. My not seeing them doesn't change jack shit! a concept!
I'm worried it's just mental illness; that it's all hallucinations because of emotional dysregulation and paranoia and anxiety.
How does one tell the difference?
Edited to add a few more nuggets:
mother was 16yo, bf cheated on her. She 'wished' him to death, as most emotionally dysregulated will w/ zero self awareness and anger management problems. He died that same night in a car crash. Sadly, his friend did, too. She has been afraid of her own anger ever since. She felt she was the reason he died.
she's heard voices speak to her in her sleep, as if in her ear, whispering to her.
I've heard a little girl run down a hall, like the voice getting louder as it passes you, fading again, but in my ear. There was no girl, no hall, I'm in my bed, asleep LOL

Last night I dreamed that I was meeting for lunch with a friend I hadn't seen for a long time, let's call her S.
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When I arrived at the pizza restaurant, S was there with other friends of hers that I did not know and they immediately began to act very familiar with me, saying "sit here next to me", "one time we have to go out just the two of us", "are you single?"
Another was constantly touching my hair and then rested his head on my shoulder.
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I was extremely grossed out, so I turned to S and asked, "Are you coming to the Pride march this year? I'm ready already" and pulled an ace out of my bag and covered the entire table with it.
Her friends were stunned into silence.

Is anyone near 21st and Rock having Cox Internet issues? This past month has been insanely spotty for me and it goes out more often than usual.

Ok hola jaja es mi primera vez usando reddit Y no se quería revelar esto jaja (Advierto que puede tener faltas de ortografía de aquí en adelante así que tratare de explicarlo y escribir lo mejor que pueda por que aparte ya tengo sueño XD)
Ok empezamos
Contexto antes de todo
Yo tenia una novia a mis 16 años a ella la llamaremos "M" 16 igual, nos conocimos en la primaria y fuimos muy amigos hasta que en 6to grado sentíamos algo uno del otro pero como éramos muy chicos o pequeños en ese momento sus padres no permitieron que fuéramos novios Después de eso cada quien fue a secundarias diferente, después de mucho tiempo por el año 2017 (donde aqui en México fue el terremoto) 2 meses despuésme de lo ocurrido me manda mensaje por facebook, preguntando como estaba y cosas por el estilo, para no hacer el cuento largo nos hablabamos diario pero eso sí con una cuenta de facebook de su madre para revisarla a ella, después de un tiempo como 5 meses por alguna razon su madre habia prohibido que ella hablara conmigo asi que me bloqueo
Después de un tiempo aprox medio año me volvió a contactar pero en WhatsApp con número propio (para este puento solo éramos amigos ya que antes no fuimos nada fuera de sentir algo) Y como si de dias se tratasen hablamos de todo lo que ocurrió en el tiempo que no hablámos, para ese momento nosotros ya estábamos casi saliendo de la secundaria la verdad yo quería ver a esa "amiga de la infancia al cual me habia enamorado" entonces hacíamos escapadas aprovechando que por la mañanas yo dejaba a mi hermano por una escuela que curiosamente estaba cerca de donde ella vivia y ella salia en la mañana a pasear, desde este punto M y yo después de pocas escapadas sin decir nada sin preguntar, un día en una mañana en el que los 2 hagarramos valor y estabamos solos nos besamos desde hay sabiamos que ya éramos novios asi estuvimos un buen rato, escapando de sus padre etc etc hasta que un dia ella dijo que no podíamos seguír ya que sus padre de alguna u otra forma se enteraron que nos veíamos (ya para que sepan desde este punto jamas le caí bien a sus padres) pero al final eso no me detuvo, seguimos en contacto de una u otra forma pero eso si era algo complicado (ha esto me refiero que el mensaje lo resiviamos por una amiga en común pero como le revisaban su celular era mas clave que nada, algo tonto pero eficaz)
Hasta que un dia agarre el valor y decidi verla una vez mas, nos reunimos afuera de un cine donde al verla, en mi mente pasaron muchas cosas la priemera vez que la vi, que senti algo por ella, que la bese etc, pero fue un momento especial que todas las anteriores por alguna razón
Después salimos a caminar por un parque que estaba cerca del cine
En resumen ese dia que nos vimos no deje perder esa oportunidad que tenia y valore cada momento a sus lado y con un lado tierno que actualmente ya no usó le dije " por favor tengo miedo de perderte, se completamente mia este dia" ella acepto con una sonrisa y me beso entre otras cosas, después la fui a dejar a la oficina de su padre (por alguna razón tenía que ir hay)
Desde ese momento hablamos mucho mas que otras ocasiones pero 2 dias después Me confesó que le revelo a su familia que quería Que fuera al 100 su novio pero al parecer su familia en vez de hablar con ella se decepciónaron (Les reveló que como tal no soy una persona mala pero desconozco por que el odio de sus padres hacía mi persona)
Me confesó que antes le dijo que era bisexual y que la amenazaron con hecharla de la casa y que esa confección que le hizo segun ella casi la hechan me dijo que ya no podíamos ser novios y me bloqueó y asi por 4 dias (ya que después me desbloqueo) Después de eso descubrí por una amiga que ella ya tenía novio (en mi mente pasaron muchas cosas que si solo jugaba conmigo si yo era el amante que si en verdad me quería, ya saben pensamientos de adolescentes tontos) en eso le mande mensaje diciendo que esto era muy mal plan de su parte Ella me dijo que era un amigo pero que sus padres lo aceptaron que se confesó delante de ellos y ellos lo aprobaron (después descubri que el chico era drogadicto problematico etc como lo se... Contactos xd) bueno al final tuvimos una discusión donde me decía que podíamos ser grande amigo y que ella me presentaba a su novio para que fueramos un trio de amigos (personalmente fue la mayor tontería de la vida), después de decir que no que como piensa eso.. que si cree que todo se puede resolver asi de facil , al final ella me dijo inmaduro que nunca la ame de verdad y me reveló que si aceptaba en un momento que su novio se descuidara ella lo engañaría conmigo (ya sabran que todo esto fue un gran golpe para mi, no por esto si no por que al final descubri el tipo de persona que era ella ) después de eso me bloqueó y quede muy mal durante 2 semanas, pero gracias a mi padre y a mi familia logre superar esa tristeza
Ahora si vamos por lo bueno jajaja
2 años después de lo sucedido, yo tengo actualmente 2 amigo aqui los llamaremos E y G (E femenino) (G masculino) Un dia por una extraña razón resiviamos llamadas diario de una persona que no conocíamos pero eran tantos números que esto nos espanto,al final entre teorías pensábamos que era el ex de mi amiga E queriendo ostigarla a ella y a nosotros
Ante esto investigue en internet como era posible, de alguna u otra forma descubri un programa para computadora que podías marcar a cualquier número sin que ellos te rastrien y el número cambiaba al marca nuevamente y fuera de eso no tenía costo, suena algo macabro e ilegal pero lo instale (actualmente ya no la tengo y ya no existe) para confirmar que era la aplicación que podria ser con la cual nos marcaba el ex de mi amiga con tantos números la probé en mi mismo y efectivamente era algo asi
Al final el poder que tenia en mis manos era enorme y como un adolescente estúpido decidí marca a mis amigós y hacer bromas telefónicas obvio al final revelaba quien era XD
Pero entre mi lista de contacto tenia a mi ex suegra entre ellos
Para esto ya eran las 2 de la mañana Pero eso no me importo y decidí marcarle Al final contesto su esposo (mi ex suegro) que con una voz cansada, confusa y enojada me dijo "quien habla " En ese momento me llene de pánico con el miedo que descubrieran quien era, Fingí la voz de un señor pero mi mente estúpida En vez de colgar y ya, decidí decir "Tus hijas ya se dormieron? Te estoy esperando debajo de tu casa para irnos al hotel (le dije un hotel cerca de su casa) y para que tu estúpido esposo no se entere" En ese momento me llene de miedo de una adrenalina estúpidamente alta En ese momento mi ex suegro preguntaba quién era varias veces, asi hasta que colge Después de 10 min volví a marcar Lo que escuche me dejo helado...
Escuchaba como mi ex suegra estaba llorando repitiendo una y mil veces "no lo conozco creeme por favor, ya no te he engañado con nadie" Mi ex novia y su hermana llorando y tratando de detener todo Al final mi ex suegro me grita "No se quién seas pero cuando sepa quién eres te voy a [email protected]ąr" en ese punto mi corazón latia mil por hora le marque a mi mejor amigo infomando lo sucedido y eso hizo que me calmara
Desde ese punto no supe nada de ella hasta 1 mes que me la encontré en la calle y ella me hablo (seguia enojado por lo de antes asi que le contestaba de una manera payasa y sin interés) Pero me reveló varias cosas, que su novio la engaño con alguien mas que reprobó materias y tal vez repita año y que sus padres estan en proceso de divorcio por una llamada (desde ese punto senti una gran culpa que actualmente ya no siento, se escucha mal pero es la verdad) de ahí le dije "que mal plan tu situación pero estoy esperando a un amigo para algo mas importante) después,ella muy tristes por como le hable se retiró despidiendose de mi con una triste mirada
Actualmente sus padres siguen divorciado y una parte de mi se arrepiente y otra parte de mi le da igual al final eso ya tiene como 2 años creo Y ya eso es todo jajaa Espero que les gustara esta historia larga y tal vez con muchas faltas de ortografía jaja bueno se cuidan banda

When we first met, he tried to talk to me (I’m assuming because he was new and wanted to make friends), but I wasn’t very receptive or friendly. Over the course of more than half a year, he still tries to talk to me, although I think I’m more friendly now. Back then, I noticed he would rarely make eye contact with me, but is fine with it now.
He sometimes teases me about my height, although he could just be insecure about his own. Recently, he asked me if I thought the guy he was sitting next to was cute (not in a jealous way).
Furthermore, when I mentioned that this guy on a video was cute, he looked over, but that could have just been because he was bored because we were watching a movie. I called a guy cute once before when he was near me and (I think) he didn’t look over.
He never texts me, but that might just be because he’s an introvert and my friends, who are mostly introverted, rarely text me too. If I text him, he responds really fast, although that might just be because he’s always at home and his phone is nearby.

My girlfriend of nearly one year stated yesterday that she started to loose feelings and doesn’t know how to go on. Of course I’m absolutely devastated and thought of every imaginable thing that could have caused that. She assured me that it wasn’t because of anything I did or because of me in general.
I’m just lost because I don’t know what to do anymore. Since I don’t know the problem there is now way I can fix something. Is there anything I can still do or try? I don’t want our relationship to end on a term on which we both don’t know why.

I will soon be starting a new role requiring me to be in the office a few times a week, near Waterloo East. I would be coming in from the South East of Kent, Dover region.
A station like Mottingham is a possibility but wondered if any other options were available?
Yes, there are trains direct from where I live but driving to a station like Mottingham works out quite a bit cheaper (to then get a train the rest of the way from there) vs a whole train journey. I don't qualify for any Travel Cards.
Thanks in advance!

So a little back story on me, I have had bowel issues nearly my whole life, namely constipation. A few months ago & up until about 3-4 weeks ago. I experimented with phyillium husk fiber capsules. At first all was well I was going normally & toiletries were rather clean after a bathroom trip, which i liked. Then a few weeks later everything started slowing down, bowel movements every 2-5 days not good.. ended up dropping them a few weeks ago & my bowels have not recovered properly. They act like there is a blockage very little is coming out 'no logs' anymore, no cow patties either it's just pathetic.
I'm having bowel movements daily but they are fairly small in my book..... I use to get 'alerted' when the deed needs to be done, not anymore it's more like 'go try' maybe something might come out... ....
I was thinking of trying soluble fiber, the kind that mixes with water & is not actual husk like fiber. I have tried a bowel flush & get diarrhea & extreme headaches from that & general death like feelings.. lol..

I'm 43 years old and 6 Months ago my Son who had just turned 18 and got his first Fulltime Job, bought me an xbox one for my birthday. Not really being a gamer I reluctantly thanked him for what I thought was a bit of an odd present as we are not particularly well off and I'd rather he spend his money on himself rather than me.
So he loads everything up and I see this game fo76 which I install, took probably 2 hrs to install. I sit down to play it and logged a new character in, wandered aimlessly around this Vault thing not really knowing what I'm doing. I then open the door and cannot believe what I'm seeing. I look out across the vast distance in amazement as far as the eye can see at the clouds and what looks like rain in the distance.
Within 30 seconds someone is standing in front of me and I panic first trying to stand as still as possible then running away and standing, not crouching as I've not worked that button out yet inn a bush to hide. It doesnt work so i shoot the hell out of a level 400 player using all 20 of my bullets that I did have. He proceeds to drop me 80 stimpaks and heart emoji me. Which causes me to press every button on my controller desperately to try and find a button to thank this player back. Eventually I worked it out after opening my pipboy about 10 times awkwardly.
I wander down a trail and listen intently to a robot, followed by 2 characters who give me some mission to follow. I stumble around with the pipboy again for a further 5 minutes opening and closing it with regularity pressing wrong buttons.
Kill 2 small robot things with my fists as id used all my bullets up, that was scary i thought, and after figuring out the map make my way to a house and speak to a couple more people who give another mission. Within the first 30 minutes of being outside I've wandered aimlessly to various locations on the map which randomly leads to about 10 mission paths opening up and panic sets in as I don't know where to go next.
I wander into flatwoods and almost die to 3 mongrels and think maybe I'm not good enough to play this game. Suddenly I hit a wall after doing perhaps a couple of simple local mission objectives I recheck the map and look on in horror the next 5 or 6 missions seem all the way across the map or so i thought, one is the overseers house and another is a vault way up North which is something to do with "What does the key do".
Anyway after probably 2 hrs I realise I've hardly gone anywhere, have no camp which I now understand is something you should get near the beginning, BTW didn't have a camp at least with anything in it for about 2 or 3 Months.
I get to a place with loads of junk and immediately start taking everything. Not sure what any of it is used for but hell it must be there for a reason so I'm hoarding like never before. Within about 2 minutes I see top left of the screen the word OverEncombered and just ignore it. This is followed by terror as I get hit from behind by a ghoul which I manage to kill after spamming buttons on the controller. Omg then another and another so I decide to get the hell out of there and proceed to run about 30 steps when I suddenly start basically crawling as I've run out of stamina and can do nothing but watch myself die.
I don't realise that the skull means you can pick up your loot so proceed just to ignore it and lose the lot.
Anyways that was the start of my journey and 6 Months on I've got a little better although by all means no expert and am level 315 and hooked. I've had so many adventures and WTH moments I can't count.
I'll never forget my start of gaming and this game will always have a special place and just want to thank my Son for buying me the Xbox in the first place as id never have found this remarkable place.
Thanks for reading.

I feel like most people wouldn’t really care if it wasn’t constantly on the news and social media…? Like sure, I could see the perspective “all gender roles are social constructs and thus we shouldn’t cling the dominant male ego”, especially because (assuming that we don’t fall in the near future) we have a sustainable living environment and thus don’t have to adhere to the purely biological/animal side of the male human being. However, with this, it seems blatantly obvious that the lgtbt community, despite claiming to be oppressed (and don’t get me wrong, there’s homophobic people anywhere you go) have the upper hand in terms of contemporary politics. As far as I’m concerned, I know of a few transgender people, I don’t really know any personally. However, despite growing at a considerable rate, they still make up to a very small minority. I’m not vouching for utilitarianism, I’m just saying that a minority that small should not be talked about as much as they are. It’s not a life or death matter. I also don’t like the demonizing of people who are worrisome about drag queens teaching children about sexuality. This is a radical change from the traditional values that have brought many of them peace and comfort. Implying that you have the moral high ground because you value an “anything goes as long as it adheres to our groups values” mentality is absurd and childish.
I’m rereading this before posting and thinking “I feel like I’m coming off as homophobic/transphobic”. Then after rationalizing it I realized that this is exactly how the propaganda works (on the left or the right). It makes people afraid to speak from common sense.

He told me today that the store near our home run out of cigarettes and he was "too lazy to go to the gas station" and came back home. Gas station is also near us, a 2 minute walk.
I told him to go before I leave for work, he sat on the couch "my knees hurt me, my legs hurt, I am tired", I said "okay but go and buy them now, dont wait for later" I pushed him gently and he stood up and went.
He came back. He told me "surprise". I said "why surprise?". He said " I met that guy from AA." I asked "this guy who you visited at his house? the AA leader?" He said "yes, he told me to come tommorow to AA. He even asked if I am still with you, and when I agreed, he told me you have a lot of patience for me". And then he started crying. I never saw that. He was always so cold hearted like a stone when he drank.
Was it a coincidence? That I pushed him to go and he met this man? He never met him before, besides the one meeting they had at his house. But he never saw him again after that. But the man recognized him, he remembered his name. They met at a gas station.
He just sat there and cried.
I tried to explain that he needs to stop, that it is a way straight to the grave, that he will die and he will leave me and our beloved dog alone. He looked at the dog with a sad face. I asked "would you go?" and he said "no". But then when I asked if he will "consider going" , he nodded.
That was the first time I saw him getting upset about this .First time I saw him actually knowing that there is a problem. He was just crying, like that demon - addiction- just left his body for a while. Like I saw through it..
I told him I know its a disease, I said I know its not his fault. I told him that he rejected my help many times but I will help him. I said " dont be stubborn, take my help. I will help you, there are people who care, see? Even this man." I said what needed to be said, I wanted him to know that it is just not my talking, that he actually needs help. I told him hiding bottles under the pillows won't change anything, I still see them...
But will that sink in? I don't know. Will he go? I don't know. Regarding rehab -no, he won't go for sure- he said that.
But I am glad for the universe today that it brought this man on his way today. Maybe this finally have an impact on him.

It's a (sad song I think) song i found in a kimetsu no yaiba video at around 2019/2018 or possibly older than that
I don't care about the Demon slayer video, just the song. Since I found the song in that video, I'll describe it anyway for more info even if I can barely remember anything (I'm bad at explaining and my English isn't that good so sorry if you didn't understand anything)
The characters are in a bamboo forest and I forgot what they are doing, I think they are not moving and the camera of the video keeps moving to the right. At the end of the video, they are now in a grassy field and Kyojuro smiling with his eyes closed slowly fades away
I literally know nothing about Japanese so everything sounds nonsense but I remember a few lyrics that sounds a bit clear to me: "Hi furi nashida / furinashida" whatever this is (The "furinashida" is near the beginning of the song or video) "harigusai ne ??? ??? sawaru hitashi u bata(?)" "anata mitaru ??? Koeo, sabishi iwa yumate, sabishi iwa yumate"
These are prob misheard and wrong but they are the closest to what I heard
Btw near the end of the song or video, there's a "NA na na na, na na na, nanana nanana" (There's a few more lyrics after the nanana(or lalala) but I can't remember them) And at the end when Kyojuro fades, there's an "Arigato u"

Background info: I'm 31yrs old and have a long history of struggling with anorexia. I had a few years of solid recovery where I was extremely healthy but relapsed at the beginning of 2021 and my weight graph since then looks like a roller coaster. Many attempts at treatment and many relapses.
I'm currently just under a healthy BMI and my weight has been mostly stable for the last 6 months. My weight has dropped over the past 2 months but nowhere near as drastically as in the past. But somehow I feel far worse than I did when I was severely underweight.
Today I found my old fitbit account with data from 2020, when I was in remission and healthy. Back then, I went on a lot of long casual walks around town, and my average heart rate (according to my fitbit anyway) was about 100-110bpm for those walks, which I would classify as light exercise.
Fast forward to this month...I stay in bed for most of the day because I feel so depleted and weak. Most of the walking I do is around the house or going to the store. But according to my apple watch, my average walking heart rate is 136, with quite a few days pushing it into the 140-160bpm range. And those are short indoor walks, nowhere near the hour long outdoor walks referenced above. I don't exercise, this is simply me going about my day.
The past week is probably the worst with my avg walking hr ranging from 140-150 most days. I feel like absolute garbage and even walking to my bathroom and brushing my teeth feels exhausting sometimes. I know from experience that this is a bad sign that my health is declining.
So basically, I know it's bad, but HOW bad?? Should I be concerned enough to make an immediate appointment with my doctor? I'm being medically monitored once a month, and I just saw my doctor last week so it'll be another 3 weeks until my next appointment. She told me she could see me earlier if I need to, but I don't know if this is a big enough concern to "need" to. It feels a bit dramatic to run back to my doctor just because my hr is higher than it should be when I walk around. Then again, I'm the last person I should be listening to.
ETA: I don't have any chest pain or tightness or other clearly serious cardiac symptoms. Just exhaustion and rapid heart rate and occasional shortness of breath and feeling like I just ran a mile. My last blood test came back with everything in a normal range (that was a month ago)

I'm Trying to help a friend who has extremely harmful beliefs, and habits that have been extremely detrimental to his mental, spiritual and physical health.
WARNING & APOLOGIES THOUGH: This is a really long post. But I'm very scared for my friend's health because he's smoking a lot of tobacco products and eating fried foods everyday while also being at least 200 pounds (or more) overweight. And I'm even more scared about how he views God, his faith, and life as a whole. And I think the only thing that has any chance to convince him that how he views his faith and his life is wrong, is scriptural evidence.
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I have a very close friend and he is actually much much more of a devout christian (and Latter-day Saint) than I am these days. I have a history in the LDS church, but I'm kinda half and half on my faith these days, while he goes to the LDS church every Sunday and claims to believe in it fully. But this is about him. He also is extremely schizophrenic (he's been officially diagnosed I think 7 or 8 years ago or more) and he is actually on disability for his schizophrenia so it's very severe. He eats fried foods constantly almost everyday and is probably 200 or maybe even inching on 300 pounds overweight. He also smokes black & milds every single day, for those of you who know anything about smoking, black & milds are actually way way worse than cigarettes somehow...so it's very very bad. I just love the man and don't want him to die when he's 38 (He's 30 now). He has told me many many many times over the years that he believes that he can literally just pray all of his problems away, without doing any work whatsoever, and his prayers will still be answered. I think this is complete non sense, and I believe that God helps those who help themselves. And I also believe it's just a simple fact of common sense reality that you have to pray along with action to make things happen in life.
Tonight we had a heated debate about this topic and I brought up 2 big examples. One being me and his weights. I'm about 60 or 70 pounds overweight myself and I'm only 5'4 so I'm extremely overweight also so I brought up the example that me and him are both extremely overweight...but I told him, we can't simply pray away our weight. I told him praying for God to give us the strength to work out or eat better etc. is great. But for us to actually lose weight we have to physically put in the work also, along with praying. And he disagreed. He literally was trying to tell me that we both can just sit on our fat butts and pray and somehow, some way God will make the weight go away on it's own.
I brought up another example. We're both single men, and we've both been single for a very very long time. We both want girlfriends and potentially wives eventually, but I don't think either of us are focused on it too too much right now. But I brought up the example that let's say tomorrow we decide we are done being single and we want a girlfriend really really bad now. I told him we can pray for that, of course. But it's not actually going to happen unless we actually meet women in some kind of way. Whether it be dating sites or apps, some way on the internet, going to public places and talking to women, something in the physical world to meet women. I said the percentage that if I pray for a girlfriend tonight that God will have one magically knock on my door tomorrow is so tiny, that's it's literally not even worth thinking about or considering at all. And he disagreed. He thought it was a perfectly reasonable thing to believe that if he prays for a girlfriend tonight that God could have one knock on his door tomorrow. And look, I know God performs miracles and totally could do that. But 99.999 times (or more) out of 100, it's just simply not going to happen. We all know that.
I'll be honest I think a lot of this could be his schizophrenia, I'm no mental health expert but from what I have been told a lot of schizophrenics have trouble staying in reality sometimes. And from I understand he is extremely schizophrenic. He is on disability from the government because of his schizophrenia, so it is severe enough for him to be on that. So I don't know how much of this is his disability or not.
And to be honest I don't care what is causing it, it just pains me that he is looking at life like this everyday because I think it's an extremely unhealthy & harmful way to look at life. And I know my only chance to show him he is wrong at this point is to show him some kind of scriptures that refute his current views on this, if there is any. I don't know if some of you may find this to be manipulative or not, what I'm wanting to do, and if you do I fully understand and we can have conversations about that. But I just love this guy to death and it pains me that he is looking at life this way. So anything to help him with this topic, to me personally, would be a good positive thing. He always brings up different scriptures in the bible about "waiting on God" to defend his views on all of this. And I never have any scriptural evidence because I have to be honest, I'm nowhere near as devout of a christian as he is. And I've only read the bible a little bit probably one time in my life. I've read more of the book of Mormon, but I'm not the best at interpreting scriptures so I haven't read much of it. I still identify as a christian, and I fully believe in a christian God. But I'm nowhere near as devout as him so I don't know any scriptures.
But I think showing him some scriptural evidence that God helps those who help themselves may have a chance on helping him. I've always heard the phrase "God helps those who help themselves" but I don't if there's anything in the actual book of Mormon to prove that scripturally. I just found out there's nothing in the bible that says that, but now I'm curious if there is in the book of Mormon. And I don't know if scriptural evidence will even help him, if it doesn't, I will honestly probably give up forever when it comes to this because I've tried to talk him out of this for probably going on at least 5 to 7 years now. But I feel like it's worth one last try by doing this because I have known the man since we were both in 6th grade and I love him like a brother. And it kills me that he really thinks he can pray away all of his problems without doing any action whatsoever at 30 years old. And I think it's really leading to him not fixing any of his problems for the past 7 to 8 years (maybe longer) So if you guys have any suggestions on what I could do to try to help, and like I said any scriptural evidence on God helping those who help themselves, I'd greatly appreciate it.

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Okay, so I am doing a replay run and I wanted to share some thoughts and ask some questions.
Basically, I am trying to do a bit of a Ruthless Paragon run. It's very similar to my first playthrough in that I am trying to be good (so, that's the Paragon part), but last time I took a lot of prisoners and showed a lot of excessive mercy more or less out of curiosity for where the story went. This time my brig is basically empty because I am killing all my enemies or, if they are actually deserving of mercy, just letting them go. So, I killed that stupid kid (Lucia's ex), the mob boss Fargo or whatever, released the mushroom prisoner, etc. Literally the only people in my brig are the refugees living there and Mama Cotter. Though in my headcanon, she is in there for her own protection and I will release her after the conflict is over.
I am also killing every single synth or apparently autonomous robot that I find. I haven't gone to the Machine Commune yet, but I intend to wipe it out and I am planning on destroying the Steeltown synth hivemind thing. Di is the only one who I think I might not destroy. Resetting her to factory settings (or whatever) seemed to be enough to turn her back into a proper robot. I think I will also destroy the Ghost Clan this time. I tried being merciful last time, but they really put their moronic synth sympathizing over real human beings so I realized they are just PETA-esque lying trash and this time I am going to wipe them out. Ultimately, I would rather destroy Steeltown than leave any wiggle room for any kind of Cochise revival. Di is a robot and not a synth, and once reset seems proper, but I am open to arguments about why I should destroy her too. I feel like my biggest weakness is my proclivity for mercy and how easy that is to play on.
Null Stack was the only robot that I regret killing... but I decided their ability to emotionally manipulate me was exactly why I had to kill them. Lest the robo-heresy corrupt me. Though mostly it was just for the skill book. Stupid fucking game forcing me to kill the game's most hilariously awesome robo-cult :(
Aside from all that, I think I am going to support the Patriarch this time, if the game lets me, rather than do a November Reigns ending like I did the first time. It was a near perfect ending in many ways, but the fact that Jodie's family dies in that ending shows that Arizona is fucked by the Rangers leaving for Colorado. I didn't think people would be left behind in that decision, but it makes sense. And yes, the Patrairch has done some awful things, but he is about to die of old age anyway. We're already undoing the evil he has done to the extent that we can and punishing him isn't really the point. Whether or not he dies by our hand or in a couple of years naturally isn't the difference between a prosperous and just Colorado or not. So I think an ending where the Rangers are good with the Patriarch and help him choose the next leader and go back to save Arizona is possibly an even better ending than the November reigns one.
So far, I haven't done the quests with his children, but I already know I will kill Victory for sure. I cannot stand him. Valor, I am undecided between holding Reagon hostage again and taking him prisoner, or just letting the Gippers have their way with him. I don't hate him, but he's kind of bringing it on himself and I have bigger responsibilities than saving one kid from his own stupidity. I am also undecided about whether or not to kill Liberty. I killed her last time, but that didn't matter since I did the bloodless coup option. This time I want to keep the Patriarch so I am not sure if killing Liberty will make that impossible. She isn't as psycho as Victory so I am not totally against the idea of detaining her, but she is still pretty dangerous and I think it's probably for the best to kill her.
Also, a couple of random thoughts about the Kodiak. I never use Jodie Bell. My team is always my 2 starting characters + Doc Nails + Bison Bill + Kwon + Lucia. No other members or companions appeal to me. Though Jodie does tug on my heart strings a little bit as the only other survivor of the ambush massacre and I kind of wish she could just be the driver similar to the AI. Not as a replacement, but like, in tandem with it.
Also, did you know you can radio base and tow your kodiak home? I literally never knew that the first time around and always drove home the slow way. RIP!

who am i if not my mothers daughter
kindness swept away throughout the years
like eroding mountainsides
and if not my fathers first born
carrier of pride i cannot shake off
a show off through and through
then i suppose i might be of sounder mind
less solitary and haunted
and more fitted for my current setting
though i must admit
that i am not so much a child of my parents
as i am of myself
i’ll avoid any mirrors
and admire myself through your eyes
as i have seen less of my truth through you
allow me to introduce myself as a summary
as i am far more proud of my achievements than i am of any trueness
and i fear we may all be wrong about me
though money and fame tempt me little
the wit of the universe beckons me near to it
like a siren on the shore
she sings to me in colors and unusual patterns
in fractals she hypnotizes me
the relentless pull of the tide
and in her arms, i am reduced to a lustful and curious boyish child
not unlike myself right now,
though lost and then found again
it is in the valleys and cliffs that i find my calm
in forest green and the turquoise of waterfalls
do i find my fulfillment
you draw me in
through sights and sounds
and remind me that i am your daughter
if nothing else, i am yours first
and your creation is like a wonderful toy
made by your hands and gifted to me
my feet in the grass
my hands sinking into the moist ground
like a cradle or my burial place
to live, to die
it is all the same to me
for in any case, i am unchanged.
and you are there with me
perhaps in the rich earth and humid wind you accompany me
as i leave the jungle and return to another.

Para empezar yo tengo 27 años y mi prima 25 años.
Yo estudie la carrera de derecho y actualmente soy abogado, mientras que mi prima terminó sus estudios y consiguió novio a los 23 años.
El día de ayer era el cumpleaños de mi prima y yo y mi familia asistimos.
El punto es que en media fiesta mi prima declaró que estaba embarazada y que su novio la había dejado, hubo un silencio incomodo pero la fiesta por una extraña razón siguió igual.
Pues estaba en la habitación de invitados y entro mi prima con su tía y mi madre, mi prima me dijo que quería hablar en privado con migo, accedí ( la peor idea que tuve nunca ) Mi prima me pregunto si podía ser el padre o tutor de su hijo.
Al principio pensé que era un broma, pero cuando note que lo decía enserió me negué rotundamente, ella se fue corriendo llorando y entró mi tía.
Tia: Que le dijistes.
Yo: No seré el padre.

• Entra mi mamá *

Mama: Que paso.
Yo: Nada mejor ya me voy.
Cuando ya me estaba llendo mi tía me toma del brazo y me dijo.
Tia: Serás el padre de ese puto niño o te demando.
Soy abogado y se que simplemente si lo hace gánate por la estupidez que es.
Yo: inténtalo.
Me fui y cuando llegue a mi casa me llegaron llamadas y mensajes de mi tía llamándome idiota, narcisista y más cosas, la bloquee.
Mi prima a estado intentando comunicarse con migo pero la e bloqueado a ella y a su familia en todas la redes sociales posibles.
Me sentí mal por mi prima y por todo lo que esta pasando por lo que preguntaré
¿Soy el malo por negarme a se el padre de mi prima?
Dato: donde vivo es legal casarse con primos pero me parese un asco.