The director who buys me dinner
NobleSavage
2020.09.07 16:55 NobleSavage
For me and woman who enjoy the dinner things in life: cigars, alcohol, guns, the outdoors, and being a decent human. Let’s set around and discuss while enjoying our favorite beverage.
2017.04.07 19:09 r/raimimemes: The Home of Pizza Time
The place to celebrate the original Spider-Man trilogy, and other Sam Raimi movies, such as Evil Dead and Darkman, and Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. The largest meme subreddit dedicated to Spider-Man! Join us as we Praise Raimi!
2011.02.08 12:36 kyonko BL is love, BL is life
Boys' Love (BL) is by origin a genre of Japanese manga produced mainly by women for women that features romantic and sexual relationships between men. Nowadays, all manner of art, comics, anime, novels, games, and dramas from many different countries operate under the BL genre heading. All of the above can be discussed here.
2023.05.30 07:13 Clean-Sorbet-3259 Worst experience in this city
I am from Toronto. I visited Montreal not too long ago and the worst experience here. First, I ordered food at a fast food joint in English. The attendant rolled her eyes at me because I didn't speak French. What the hell?
Second, some dude tried to sexually assault me two hours at a bar on Crescent Street. He was a groom to be. He chased me around a bar and demanded a kiss. I said no and he said "why won't you kiss me?" He is at least 270lb and he kept chasing me around the bar. At one point he pinned me under a bar table and I honestly thought I would be raped. Luckily I got out, since his friend got him off me. I thought I was safe and tried to go home. He found me outside of the bar, grabbed me and kissed me. His girl took a photo. After this, the girl told me that this was a bachelorette/bachelor party and kissing me and taking a photo was some game.
WTF.
I heard French people have a liberal attitude to relationships (cheating etc) but this is sick. I have no idea if this is some French/ Montreal thing. However the worst thing is that no one really helped. There were at least 10 bartenders and a security guy who saw me pinned to the floor and no one helped. I give the customers cuz they were probably drunk too. In addition, it sickens me that some couple has a photo of kissing me against my will and gets a kick out of it. I am deeply traumatized.
What is wrong people....
submitted by Clean-Sorbet-3259 to montreal [link] [comments]
Second, some dude tried to sexually assault me two hours at a bar on Crescent Street. He was a groom to be. He chased me around a bar and demanded a kiss. I said no and he said "why won't you kiss me?" He is at least 270lb and he kept chasing me around the bar. At one point he pinned me under a bar table and I honestly thought I would be raped. Luckily I got out, since his friend got him off me. I thought I was safe and tried to go home. He found me outside of the bar, grabbed me and kissed me. His girl took a photo. After this, the girl told me that this was a bachelorette/bachelor party and kissing me and taking a photo was some game.
WTF.
I heard French people have a liberal attitude to relationships (cheating etc) but this is sick. I have no idea if this is some French/ Montreal thing. However the worst thing is that no one really helped. There were at least 10 bartenders and a security guy who saw me pinned to the floor and no one helped. I give the customers cuz they were probably drunk too. In addition, it sickens me that some couple has a photo of kissing me against my will and gets a kick out of it. I am deeply traumatized.
What is wrong people....
2023.05.30 07:12 nantuko1 The plague that is real estate investing
Watch these videos to fully understand how we got here. Look for the common themes:
"How To Become A Millionaire Through Real Estate Investing (Newbies!)"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naZAknwNgkY - Brandon Turner
-------
"Tony Robbins House Flipping Secret for Massive Results"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0ikMeCUUaQ - Bill Allen
-------
"How I Became A Millionaire In 3 Years Through Real Estate"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlTk12cpNQw - Ryan Pineda
-------
"This Is How You Can Buy Real Estate With Little or No Money"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXcnJmBGAeU - Robert Kiyosaki
-------
A combined 7 million views for these videos but there are thousands more and countless websites and groups promoting these schemes. It's clear what must happen to restore any sort of livable country, this shit has to be banned. Even if half of these worthless parasites fail (and they will fail), IT IS STILL SCREWING EVERYONE ELSE. Every time one of these parasites buys a property the "market price" increases.. and they buy and re-sell / rent them all fucking day long. Any time you try to buy a property, they are there competing with you. They either steal it from you or make you pay more, either way everyone loses because housing continues to get less affordable. This is happening on a massive scale and is totally regressive to society and is the reason you will never own a home and will eventually be paying the majority of your income to your landlord to breath the air.
Contact your MP, contact your city counselor, tell them you want residential multi-property investing BANNED. Do not vote Liberal or Conservative ever because they are obviously in on it. Who should you vote for? Who fucking knows but maybe process of elimination will lead to something else. There has been zero integrity or accountability for these corrupt politicians for too long and until that changes nothing will get better.
submitted by nantuko1 to canadahousing [link] [comments]
- Not a single thought or care about whether what they're doing is good for society or anyone else
- Unlimited levels of selfishness and greed (100s/1000s of flips & rentals)
- No value created, yet money is being made and they think this makes them smart
- Recruit as many "investors" as possible to increase the chance of their own strategy being successful, to feel less alone, to justify their parasitic existence, to feed their ego
"How To Become A Millionaire Through Real Estate Investing (Newbies!)"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naZAknwNgkY - Brandon Turner
-------
"Tony Robbins House Flipping Secret for Massive Results"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0ikMeCUUaQ - Bill Allen
-------
"How I Became A Millionaire In 3 Years Through Real Estate"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlTk12cpNQw - Ryan Pineda
-------
"This Is How You Can Buy Real Estate With Little or No Money"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXcnJmBGAeU - Robert Kiyosaki
-------
A combined 7 million views for these videos but there are thousands more and countless websites and groups promoting these schemes. It's clear what must happen to restore any sort of livable country, this shit has to be banned. Even if half of these worthless parasites fail (and they will fail), IT IS STILL SCREWING EVERYONE ELSE. Every time one of these parasites buys a property the "market price" increases.. and they buy and re-sell / rent them all fucking day long. Any time you try to buy a property, they are there competing with you. They either steal it from you or make you pay more, either way everyone loses because housing continues to get less affordable. This is happening on a massive scale and is totally regressive to society and is the reason you will never own a home and will eventually be paying the majority of your income to your landlord to breath the air.
Contact your MP, contact your city counselor, tell them you want residential multi-property investing BANNED. Do not vote Liberal or Conservative ever because they are obviously in on it. Who should you vote for? Who fucking knows but maybe process of elimination will lead to something else. There has been zero integrity or accountability for these corrupt politicians for too long and until that changes nothing will get better.
2023.05.30 07:12 Professional_Plan858 Dear K (X)
Your new name you chose tonight, or maybe you were chosen by it... It seemed to resonate. I felt a spark when I said it out loud. I felt something connect and I saw your eyes light up. I saw you come to life in a new way. I saw you hide afterwards too.
I know you're scared. I know this is scary, but I promise you can make it. I promise you'll do just fine. You are who you say you are, and I believe in you. And I love who you are and who you will become.
I know at this phase you are still unsure, but from where I am standing, I already see you, and I know it's just a matter of time til you catch up. I know when you do it will be a biblical event — something that deserves it's own scripture. I'd be happy to be your ghost writer, telling the story of you as you grow.
Let this post be the first of many to come; I hope in time I can show you these messages and you'll understand just how loved you are. You are incredible and brave, and I am proud to be yours...
P.S.: take it slow and easy. It's a step by step process to self discovery. We're all eagerly waiting for you to become. Me most of fall.
submitted by Professional_Plan858 to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]
I know you're scared. I know this is scary, but I promise you can make it. I promise you'll do just fine. You are who you say you are, and I believe in you. And I love who you are and who you will become.
I know at this phase you are still unsure, but from where I am standing, I already see you, and I know it's just a matter of time til you catch up. I know when you do it will be a biblical event — something that deserves it's own scripture. I'd be happy to be your ghost writer, telling the story of you as you grow.
Let this post be the first of many to come; I hope in time I can show you these messages and you'll understand just how loved you are. You are incredible and brave, and I am proud to be yours...
P.S.: take it slow and easy. It's a step by step process to self discovery. We're all eagerly waiting for you to become. Me most of fall.
2023.05.30 07:12 BabushkaGnomecore Trying to reconnect, sorry in advance for the novel
Hello! A little background:
I'm 33, mom of 4 kids aged 1 to 12. I have practicing Jewish ancestry a couple of generations back on my father's side, which is much smaller thanks to the Holocaust. My maternal grandmother is also distantly Jewish.
I knew nothing of any of that ancestry until my early 20's, because I was raised in a very cultish evangelical church by my mother and adoptive stepfather. I left that church over a decade ago, but the trauma remains. Yes, I was treated differently for things I had no idea put a target on my back, like my hair texture or my nose or my birthname, which my mother couldn't have been in a bigger hurry to change when she married my stepfather.
For maybe eight years, I've been reluctant to look further into Judaism due to that trauma, but have also felt increasingly pulled to reconnect with this part of my identity that was a mystery to me for most of my life. Each new thing I've learned has made me feel more connected; idk if it's like an epigenetics thing or a spiritual thing or both, but I can't and don't want to keep avoiding it.
Amplifying this is the fact that my daughters (10 and 12) who have been raised pretty agnostic but with whom we've observed some Jewish holidays over the years are identifying pretty intensely with Judaism. So much so that the oldest is wanting to start wearing a tichel, which I've supported with the condition that she do her own research into the concept and explain to me why she wants to do it in a reasoned way. I want them to have this connection to a cultural identity with which they identify, because I certainly never had that.
So here's the issue:
I'll take what I can get.
submitted by BabushkaGnomecore to ReformJews [link] [comments]
I'm 33, mom of 4 kids aged 1 to 12. I have practicing Jewish ancestry a couple of generations back on my father's side, which is much smaller thanks to the Holocaust. My maternal grandmother is also distantly Jewish.
I knew nothing of any of that ancestry until my early 20's, because I was raised in a very cultish evangelical church by my mother and adoptive stepfather. I left that church over a decade ago, but the trauma remains. Yes, I was treated differently for things I had no idea put a target on my back, like my hair texture or my nose or my birthname, which my mother couldn't have been in a bigger hurry to change when she married my stepfather.
For maybe eight years, I've been reluctant to look further into Judaism due to that trauma, but have also felt increasingly pulled to reconnect with this part of my identity that was a mystery to me for most of my life. Each new thing I've learned has made me feel more connected; idk if it's like an epigenetics thing or a spiritual thing or both, but I can't and don't want to keep avoiding it.
Amplifying this is the fact that my daughters (10 and 12) who have been raised pretty agnostic but with whom we've observed some Jewish holidays over the years are identifying pretty intensely with Judaism. So much so that the oldest is wanting to start wearing a tichel, which I've supported with the condition that she do her own research into the concept and explain to me why she wants to do it in a reasoned way. I want them to have this connection to a cultural identity with which they identify, because I certainly never had that.
So here's the issue:
- I feel like a massive imposter, because I wasn't remotely raised in Judaism and really can't even definitively proof ancestry.
- The only synagogue within 100 miles can't function as an actual synagogue due to antisemitism, only as an interfaith cultural center. There is no rabbi, even.
- I have no idea how to raise my children with this cultural identity that I barely understand, despite my best efforts, and I'm perpetually terrified of appropriation or even being accused of appropriation.
I'll take what I can get.
2023.05.30 07:12 roduneru Heraclio Fournier Vitoria Spanish Playing Cards' chemical smell is so bad, Should I keep them?
I recently got into card games and a bit of card collecting, I've also been interested in playing cards from other countries thanks to Play-In Games on YT. Since no one is selling Italian decks in my country, they do sell spanish decks which are very similar. The design is pretty unique instead of the standard suits we have coins, cups, swords and actual clubs. So I went and bought them since I had spare money at the time.
Now here's the problem, I bought these Heraclio Fournier Vitoria Spanish Playing Cards from a seller that had the most amount of buyers compared to any other seller selling the same thing. All fairly great reviews. When mine came, the product was packaged nicely but once I opened the pack and took a gander at the cards the first thing that surprised me was the smell, I've had bad smelling cards before like the Empire Keepers but this one was on a whole different level, the chemical smell felt like a real smack to the face and was making me very nauseous. I've been storing them in a secluded place very much far away from my room since buying them and just earlier I've set them on a small table to breathe (still away from my room but now hidden under another table in my living room.). I want to salvage it as much as possible but the smell is the one thing that stops me from doing so. I'm not knowledgeable enough to know if the chemical used for the cards are actually harmful to the nose or not. The cards do look really cool but I don't know I f I should keep them if I'm always going to be nauseous about handling them. I set them on the table and will be staying there for a week or so, hoping that the smell goes away by then. What do you think? Any opinions on the matter? Any owners who know what I can do or if this is normal or not?
submitted by roduneru to playingcards [link] [comments]
Now here's the problem, I bought these Heraclio Fournier Vitoria Spanish Playing Cards from a seller that had the most amount of buyers compared to any other seller selling the same thing. All fairly great reviews. When mine came, the product was packaged nicely but once I opened the pack and took a gander at the cards the first thing that surprised me was the smell, I've had bad smelling cards before like the Empire Keepers but this one was on a whole different level, the chemical smell felt like a real smack to the face and was making me very nauseous. I've been storing them in a secluded place very much far away from my room since buying them and just earlier I've set them on a small table to breathe (still away from my room but now hidden under another table in my living room.). I want to salvage it as much as possible but the smell is the one thing that stops me from doing so. I'm not knowledgeable enough to know if the chemical used for the cards are actually harmful to the nose or not. The cards do look really cool but I don't know I f I should keep them if I'm always going to be nauseous about handling them. I set them on the table and will be staying there for a week or so, hoping that the smell goes away by then. What do you think? Any opinions on the matter? Any owners who know what I can do or if this is normal or not?
2023.05.30 07:11 SpiritualSag96 Roommate upset because I don’t invite her to hangout
This is a roommate that is draining, conversationally self-centered and expects me to be friends with her despite not knowing her before living here. I was down before I realized she talks about herself nonstop and doesn’t ask anything about me or even listen. She’s 39 but acts like a child and wants to invited to nights out despite being sober and having a bedtime of 10 pm. I don’t know what she expects.
I haven’t cooked in the kitchen forever because I’m so uncomfortable with her around.
submitted by SpiritualSag96 to badroommates [link] [comments]
I haven’t cooked in the kitchen forever because I’m so uncomfortable with her around.
2023.05.30 07:11 The-Lizzard-Wizzard I (27f) have asked my bf (43m) to cut off ties with friends.
I’ll try to keep it short but as most relationships and issues go it’s sticky, confusing and long. SO my boy friend has kept information from me regarding past sexual partners that he is still “friends” with. Before I found out about their past, texts he told me about were worrying me. Inappropriate behavior and calling her “pet names” he calls me.
I’d like to add going in to the relationship I knew of a handful of people he’d been with sexually that we talked about that are friends that I am not affected by.
When I found out about it we discussed cutting her off and letting me know when she reached out. A week goes by and he said she hasn’t. He lied. Since then we went to therapy and have been talking about a lot of stuff and working through it. I also found out at the time that a gay friend who is married to his best friend gave him a blow job at one point in time and according to him “always offers to give blow jobs”. I wasn’t asking him to cut off those friends because I cracked it up as a weird circumstance that could happen especially if they were drunk. It still bothered me and the always offering thing made me feel really unsafe. After therapy and attempting to move past all of this he drops another bomb on me telling me that his best friend who is married to the blow job man watched him jerk off and is infatuated with him….. So now I want him to cut them off. I am so uncomfortable and feel like they’re predators. He said that if he is okay saying no to advances and it’s stuff that happens in the past it’s no big deal. But lying about it is a big deal to me, not disclosing information is lying by omission. I have an anxious attachment style and am trying to work on it. I have sexual trauma from my childhood and my boyfriend is only the third person I’ve been with. My philosophy is that unwanted sexual advances are bad. He is telling me it’s only a matter of time before I ask him to cut off family and more people. But I think I have been pretty consistent as far as what bothers me which is: him having inappropriate friendships with people he has had a past sexual history with. I do not want to break up and I don’t know what the compromise would be. He told me that if he were to tell his friends what I was asking him to do they would all tell him to run. I know asking someone to cut people out is a red flag and controlling but it’s the only thing that can make me feel safe. It’s not that I don’t trust him Per say more so the sexual energy radiating off of his friends. The “always offering blow jobs” and “infatuation”. Please help me with some insight. I don’t want to blindly be a toxic person.
TL;DR- my boyfriend has friends with past sexually history and what seems like unhealthy motives. I asked him to cut them off.
submitted by The-Lizzard-Wizzard to relationships [link] [comments]
I’d like to add going in to the relationship I knew of a handful of people he’d been with sexually that we talked about that are friends that I am not affected by.
When I found out about it we discussed cutting her off and letting me know when she reached out. A week goes by and he said she hasn’t. He lied. Since then we went to therapy and have been talking about a lot of stuff and working through it. I also found out at the time that a gay friend who is married to his best friend gave him a blow job at one point in time and according to him “always offers to give blow jobs”. I wasn’t asking him to cut off those friends because I cracked it up as a weird circumstance that could happen especially if they were drunk. It still bothered me and the always offering thing made me feel really unsafe. After therapy and attempting to move past all of this he drops another bomb on me telling me that his best friend who is married to the blow job man watched him jerk off and is infatuated with him….. So now I want him to cut them off. I am so uncomfortable and feel like they’re predators. He said that if he is okay saying no to advances and it’s stuff that happens in the past it’s no big deal. But lying about it is a big deal to me, not disclosing information is lying by omission. I have an anxious attachment style and am trying to work on it. I have sexual trauma from my childhood and my boyfriend is only the third person I’ve been with. My philosophy is that unwanted sexual advances are bad. He is telling me it’s only a matter of time before I ask him to cut off family and more people. But I think I have been pretty consistent as far as what bothers me which is: him having inappropriate friendships with people he has had a past sexual history with. I do not want to break up and I don’t know what the compromise would be. He told me that if he were to tell his friends what I was asking him to do they would all tell him to run. I know asking someone to cut people out is a red flag and controlling but it’s the only thing that can make me feel safe. It’s not that I don’t trust him Per say more so the sexual energy radiating off of his friends. The “always offering blow jobs” and “infatuation”. Please help me with some insight. I don’t want to blindly be a toxic person.
TL;DR- my boyfriend has friends with past sexually history and what seems like unhealthy motives. I asked him to cut them off.
2023.05.30 07:11 Cozykarma_ Does the girl I’m dating have a drinking problem?
I’m a girl and dated a girl who gave me special attention and said she only wanted me. She is (F24) diagnosed with bipolar. She started university late and is taking online classes. She parties every weekend and gets drunk. For example, she woke up at her friend's house after being drunk, etc. Her idea of relaxation is “watching a movie and a glass of wine.” I thought all this was normal. She also says she likes having guy friends because she can call them to pick her up when she’s drunk. She’d randomly text me “I bought wine.”
When she came to my apartment, she bought a bottle of wine and cocktails. I got her some snacks but she didn’t eat any of them. She got drunk, by drinking a whole bottle. She even drank wine on my bed and spilled it. After having sex, she wanted to leave immediately to weird vape. She had delusions about someone being in my apartment when there wasn’t anyone else. She then said she loves me and slept.
The next morning she didn’t remember anything and was worried she said anything rude. She then said dating stresses her out and wants to be friends and I can go partying with her and friends. I invited her to meet me on the weekend but she ended up meeting someone else and posted a photo with a glass of wine.
Her family and friends usually drink with her so they don’t think she’s an alcoholic. We’re not talking anymore because she disrespected me and was rude, but should I be concerned? And does it sound like she has a drinking problem?
submitted by Cozykarma_ to dating [link] [comments]
When she came to my apartment, she bought a bottle of wine and cocktails. I got her some snacks but she didn’t eat any of them. She got drunk, by drinking a whole bottle. She even drank wine on my bed and spilled it. After having sex, she wanted to leave immediately to weird vape. She had delusions about someone being in my apartment when there wasn’t anyone else. She then said she loves me and slept.
The next morning she didn’t remember anything and was worried she said anything rude. She then said dating stresses her out and wants to be friends and I can go partying with her and friends. I invited her to meet me on the weekend but she ended up meeting someone else and posted a photo with a glass of wine.
Her family and friends usually drink with her so they don’t think she’s an alcoholic. We’re not talking anymore because she disrespected me and was rude, but should I be concerned? And does it sound like she has a drinking problem?
2023.05.30 07:10 rui_the_alchemist weird little rant
am i the only one who feels like nightchord has two different types of voices? they're all very talented singers, but for kanade and ena, they're just singing. for mafuyu and mizuki it feels so desperate. with mafuyu i feel like she's falling and screaming for help, and with mizuki i feel like they're dumping all their pain into the song. this is especially present for me in mafuyu's composing the future and mizuki's charles. same goes for the other bands two though. with ichika and shiho i can feel their emotions but with saki and hona its more bland singing (still very talented). and for vbs, when toya sings (ESPECIALLY YOBANASHI DECIEVE) i feel almost as if he's yelling at his dad through song.
submitted by rui_the_alchemist to ProjectSekai [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:10 danyesmith Unmatched Quality: Fear of God Hoodies
 | Are you looking for a hoodie that combines style, comfort, and unparalleled quality? Look no further than Fear of God Hoodies. With their meticulous attention to detail, use of high-quality materials, and a reputation that speaks for itself, Fear of God Hoodies stand out as a fashion staple among enthusiasts and celebrities alike. submitted by danyesmith to u/danyesmith [link] [comments] IntroductionFinding a garment that ticks all the boxes can be challenging in fashion. However, Fear of God Hoodies has captured the attention of fashion enthusiasts worldwide, offering a unique blend of style, comfort, and unmatched quality. Let's dive deeper into what sets Fear of God Essentials Hoodies apart.Fear of God Hoodies: An Overview Fear of God Essentials Hoodie is a renowned fashion brand founded by Jerry Lorenzo, known for its high-end streetwear collections. 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Pair a solid-colored hoodie with jeans or joggers and sneakers for a laid-back and casual look. To create a more formal outfit, layer a Fear of God Hoodie under a tailored jacket and pair it with chinos or slim-fit trousers. Accessorize with minimalistic jewelry and complete the look with stylish footwear. Care and Maintenance Proper care is essential to ensure that your Fear of God Hoodie maintains its quality and longevity. Follow the brand's care instructions, which usually involve gentle machine washing or hand washing in cold water. Avoid harsh detergents or bleach, and allow the hoodie to air dry to preserve its shape and fabric integrity. Buying Fear of God Hoodies Fear of God Hoodies can be purchased through the official Fear of God website or from authorized retailers. Buying directly from the brand's website or trusted sources is recommended to ensure authenticity and quality. Explore the different collections and select the hoodie that fits your style and preferences. 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2023.05.30 07:10 pyroviolet I just need some support
Hi. I don't need problem-solving, just support.
I'm dying of cancer.
Initially diagnosed in 2018 with stage 3 breast cancer, it finally came back in early Spring 2022. I was diagnosed the week of my birthday. I got the results right before a huge job interview but didn't read until later.
Cancer Vol 1 was hard, but I was a stay at home parent making it a bit easier, as far as scheduling appointments. My ex-husband's employer told him to take as much time as he needed to take care of me and the kids.
Instead, he worked even more hours, rarely went to appointments, and helped out even less than he already did with our 10 and 14 year old. I remember coming home from one horrendous chemo day and had to make dinner for everyone because he was too busy with work. When chemo dropped me into menopause with no warning (happened in the span of one week!) and I asked the family for a little extra grace during that time period, he told me that I was an asshole prior to cancer so I couldn't use that as an excuse now. Then he kicked me out for a weekend during a blizzard. I stayed on a friend's couch. When friends brought meals over, he would start a fight with me (sometimes with friends still there) and friends stopped bringing food. He made my life so miserable that I didn't think I'd go through treatment if I got cancer again.
Some more bad shit happened, then COVID-19, and then we got into a huge fight, I tried to unalive myself, and he kicked me out for good in October 2020. It took me a few months to shake myself off, but I stayed with friends for 6 months, dated some, rented a house I couldn't really afford, and was starting to feel confident and optimistic.
Then came the new diagnosis, March 2022. I tried to work FT while taking oral chemotherapy but it finally got too difficult and I had to quit working early 2023. I got evicted but was fortunate that my father died in October 2022, so I'm living in that house. It's hard, because I grew up here and my parents weren't great.
I thought I had a great support system, but it turns out they're just words. If I need transportation to an appointment I have to get an Uber usually. Few people text or visit or invite me anywhere. I don't make much money on SSI and I feel so lost and alone. My kidneys started failing over the weekend and I struggled to get myself to the hospital. Only one person has visited, only a few people have checked in on me. I don't want to continue treatment because it makes me tired, I struggle to eat and everything tastes terrible, my hair is falling out, I'm always cold.... But if I stay off treatment, I likely have less than 6 months to live.
I'm so lonely. I'm an introverted extroverts and I hardly ever talk to anyone. I won't join a support group because so many people who go are very religious, and that's fine, but it's uncomfortable for me. I've asked my friends for help - specific and general items - and I feel invisible. I'm just so sad so often and it's really getting old.
There's an awful lot more to the story but I'm tired and the pain meds are kicking in. Like I saif, I don't need solutions, i need a friend. Maybe a hug.
submitted by pyroviolet to TwoXChromosomes [link] [comments]
I'm dying of cancer.
Initially diagnosed in 2018 with stage 3 breast cancer, it finally came back in early Spring 2022. I was diagnosed the week of my birthday. I got the results right before a huge job interview but didn't read until later.
Cancer Vol 1 was hard, but I was a stay at home parent making it a bit easier, as far as scheduling appointments. My ex-husband's employer told him to take as much time as he needed to take care of me and the kids.
Instead, he worked even more hours, rarely went to appointments, and helped out even less than he already did with our 10 and 14 year old. I remember coming home from one horrendous chemo day and had to make dinner for everyone because he was too busy with work. When chemo dropped me into menopause with no warning (happened in the span of one week!) and I asked the family for a little extra grace during that time period, he told me that I was an asshole prior to cancer so I couldn't use that as an excuse now. Then he kicked me out for a weekend during a blizzard. I stayed on a friend's couch. When friends brought meals over, he would start a fight with me (sometimes with friends still there) and friends stopped bringing food. He made my life so miserable that I didn't think I'd go through treatment if I got cancer again.
Some more bad shit happened, then COVID-19, and then we got into a huge fight, I tried to unalive myself, and he kicked me out for good in October 2020. It took me a few months to shake myself off, but I stayed with friends for 6 months, dated some, rented a house I couldn't really afford, and was starting to feel confident and optimistic.
Then came the new diagnosis, March 2022. I tried to work FT while taking oral chemotherapy but it finally got too difficult and I had to quit working early 2023. I got evicted but was fortunate that my father died in October 2022, so I'm living in that house. It's hard, because I grew up here and my parents weren't great.
I thought I had a great support system, but it turns out they're just words. If I need transportation to an appointment I have to get an Uber usually. Few people text or visit or invite me anywhere. I don't make much money on SSI and I feel so lost and alone. My kidneys started failing over the weekend and I struggled to get myself to the hospital. Only one person has visited, only a few people have checked in on me. I don't want to continue treatment because it makes me tired, I struggle to eat and everything tastes terrible, my hair is falling out, I'm always cold.... But if I stay off treatment, I likely have less than 6 months to live.
I'm so lonely. I'm an introverted extroverts and I hardly ever talk to anyone. I won't join a support group because so many people who go are very religious, and that's fine, but it's uncomfortable for me. I've asked my friends for help - specific and general items - and I feel invisible. I'm just so sad so often and it's really getting old.
There's an awful lot more to the story but I'm tired and the pain meds are kicking in. Like I saif, I don't need solutions, i need a friend. Maybe a hug.
2023.05.30 07:10 atomicferret P4S My Plex USA/EU 5Gbit Invites 30K+ Movies 19K+ TV 4K IPTV Anime Requests Optimized CDN Local Storage
Join US https://discord.gg/4GeCR24mA9 Pricing Plex 1 month – $ 9.99 12 months – $ 99.99 lifetime – $ 199.99 IPTV Price $11.99/Monthly $69.99/half-year $140/Yearly $299/Lifetime Content offered: Movies 1080 p - 30000 Movies 4k - 754 TV Shows - 19000 4k TV - 351 Will take almost any payment mode message Download/Requests option enabled for yearly/lifetime users exception made for monthly users on case by case basis Why shouldn't I buy netflix instead? Because Netflix only has 3,700 movies and 5,800 TV shows. We have a lot more shows. You could get Netflix + HBO-Max + Hulu + Disney-Plus + Amazon Prime Video for around $55 USD and you'd still have less movies than you can have with us! 2. Should I drop my cable bill? That $100 dollar burden on your wallet? Yes. Drop it please and grab a plex susbcription. 3. Will you suddenly drop me and disappear? Hell no. We can't afford to. We've just spent too much (money and time) on making everything work perfectly. We'll be around for a long long time to recoup our investments. 4. Why do you charge so much compared to some others? We're not just here to show you some videos. We want this experience to be amazing and we do the work to make it so. Our plex servers load in less than 5 seconds, and videos start-up within 5 seconds too. We try to make sure the servers never go down and support is always friendly. You can take up an hour of my time asking how best to change the audio settings in your plex device, or you can send me questions in the middle of the night about a missing tv episode or the wrong audio track. We'll always be happy to help. https://discord.gg/4GeCR24mA9 Join US
submitted by atomicferret to PlexnEmbyShares [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:10 Probschristine DV Parent Advice
I’m looking for some advice, I’m lost…. I’m 26 and have 4 brothers- only 1 is a minor, he’s 17. My whole entire life my dad has been a narcissist, as well as emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive— especially to my mom. I’m at the age where I’m fully over it, I don’t want a single thing to do with him anymore. My parents are still together and youngest brother lives at home. They live in upstate NY, and I live in California. Recently this past month my mom came to visit me. My dad called her and started yelling as he normally does and wanted to talk to me. I didn’t want to talk to him because I knew it would ruin my last few days with my mom and put my mind back in that place as if I live at home. Of course he goes off and says “I never call, I’m self centered, I’m the worst, etc. etc.” and continues to say “say goodbye to your mom she’s not allowed to visit you ever again, we want nothing to do with you, etc.”. This is the first time I actually stood up for myself. Of course we get off the phone and my mom and I are both crying. I gave her an “ultimatum” I told her when I have kids in a few years I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I told her I can’t keep re-living through it and having the negative energy in my life. And that if she continues to stay with him I can keep a relationship with her.
For the first time in my life my mom FINALLY has mentioned ONCE that she has been thinking about leaving. I want to help, but I know I can’t force her and make decisions for her- I want this to be her decision. I also 100% want to keep her safe that’s my biggest priority. My issue is idk how to find resources, who can help. Especially bc he’s a huge narcissist- everyone who knows him thinks he’s a nice handy guy. Little do they know we had 6 visits from CPS growing up, my brother ran away from home, I missed school due to black and blue eyes, and was forced to sleep outside sometimes. How can I make sure that when my mom is ready she’ll be SAFE not only leaving, but after, and with the legal stuff. They own a rental property company together that’s a LLC with ~12 houses. and my little brother still lives at home. My dads names on everything and my mom was a stay at home mom for 7 years. She said she’s most afraid of having to leave everything she knows behind, like her town, relationships, and family.
submitted by Probschristine to abusesurvivors [link] [comments]
For the first time in my life my mom FINALLY has mentioned ONCE that she has been thinking about leaving. I want to help, but I know I can’t force her and make decisions for her- I want this to be her decision. I also 100% want to keep her safe that’s my biggest priority. My issue is idk how to find resources, who can help. Especially bc he’s a huge narcissist- everyone who knows him thinks he’s a nice handy guy. Little do they know we had 6 visits from CPS growing up, my brother ran away from home, I missed school due to black and blue eyes, and was forced to sleep outside sometimes. How can I make sure that when my mom is ready she’ll be SAFE not only leaving, but after, and with the legal stuff. They own a rental property company together that’s a LLC with ~12 houses. and my little brother still lives at home. My dads names on everything and my mom was a stay at home mom for 7 years. She said she’s most afraid of having to leave everything she knows behind, like her town, relationships, and family.
2023.05.30 07:09 UncommonPhoenix Do you think van life is suited to city lovers?
I see so many people who transition to vans to be outdoors. I like being outdoors, but more like city parks outdoors rather than camping off grid outdoors. I like having a bit of hustle and bustle around me. That being said, I'm planning on traveling throughout the East Coast of the US for the next year. I like not having to pack up and unpack every time I want to go somewhere. There seem to be some benefits, like not really needing a water tank or a showeexpensive toilet (hello luggable loo), but I'm wondering if cities are just not great places for van living. Anybody have any experience?
submitted by UncommonPhoenix to VanLife [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 07:09 TDbears85 [WEB] [1998] Single pixel top-down zombie game
Platform(s): web (I played on PC, probably Netscape at the time, but the game was probably flash and therefore probably worked on everything)
Genre: Zombie
Estimated year of release: mid-1990s to early 2000s
Graphics/art style: Top down. Zombies, civilians, and police (or maybe it was soldiers) each were single pixels of different colors. Once a zombie infected and converted a civilian into a zombie, that civilian pixel turned into the zombie color. I can't recall if it was zombies or civilians who were red or green, but each was definitely one of those. There were buildings for civilians/police to hide in. Again, everything was top down and 2D on a black background.
Notable characters: none, everyone was a single pixel and otherwise looked like every other character of the same type.
Notable gameplay mechanics: As far as I recall, you didn't control the zombies or any other pixel. You basically set up the size of the "board" and the AI zombies attacked the AI civilians who tried to run away and the AI police who tried to kill the zombies.
Other details: Eventually, I believe someone else expanded on the original game and added additional features, including changing the numbers of each category of pixel (zombie, civilian, police) and added nukes for the player to deploy via mouse clicks.
Appreciate the help. This has been bothering me for years.
submitted by TDbears85 to tipofmyjoystick [link] [comments]
Genre: Zombie
Estimated year of release: mid-1990s to early 2000s
Graphics/art style: Top down. Zombies, civilians, and police (or maybe it was soldiers) each were single pixels of different colors. Once a zombie infected and converted a civilian into a zombie, that civilian pixel turned into the zombie color. I can't recall if it was zombies or civilians who were red or green, but each was definitely one of those. There were buildings for civilians/police to hide in. Again, everything was top down and 2D on a black background.
Notable characters: none, everyone was a single pixel and otherwise looked like every other character of the same type.
Notable gameplay mechanics: As far as I recall, you didn't control the zombies or any other pixel. You basically set up the size of the "board" and the AI zombies attacked the AI civilians who tried to run away and the AI police who tried to kill the zombies.
Other details: Eventually, I believe someone else expanded on the original game and added additional features, including changing the numbers of each category of pixel (zombie, civilian, police) and added nukes for the player to deploy via mouse clicks.
Appreciate the help. This has been bothering me for years.
2023.05.30 07:09 Reasonable-Zombie-78 Has anyone's current or ex partner done anything like this?
He made up girls that were interested in him, like literally made FB profiles for them and everything, and then showed me the messages "they'd" sent him talking shit about me. Saying things like how he deserved better, he was so amazing, why would anyone want someone like me, and mocking my interests and career.
He even went as far as to photoshop himself into pictures with them and then would make sure I saw the pics and accuse me of being crazy and jealous when I reacted. These women didn't exist, he took pics of real women from instagram etc, made profiles for them, and used them to make me feel horrible. And since he was literally sending these messages to himself, it was just him talking about the disdain and contempt he felt for me.
I found out when I finally got so upset about thinking he was cheating so one night when he was passed out drunk I went through his phone...not something I'm proud of but I honestly don't regret it.
I also learned that he had been hiding any evidence of me on his social media from certain women who are real and presenting himself to them as being single.
He never went as far as actually cheating so I think it was just all the attention he liked and was after, plus just wanting to break down my self esteem.
It's all so batshit crazy, especially the making up of these women, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all. It's like he's trying to make me feel and act crazy or something.
submitted by Reasonable-Zombie-78 to abusiverelationships [link] [comments]
He even went as far as to photoshop himself into pictures with them and then would make sure I saw the pics and accuse me of being crazy and jealous when I reacted. These women didn't exist, he took pics of real women from instagram etc, made profiles for them, and used them to make me feel horrible. And since he was literally sending these messages to himself, it was just him talking about the disdain and contempt he felt for me.
I found out when I finally got so upset about thinking he was cheating so one night when he was passed out drunk I went through his phone...not something I'm proud of but I honestly don't regret it.
I also learned that he had been hiding any evidence of me on his social media from certain women who are real and presenting himself to them as being single.
He never went as far as actually cheating so I think it was just all the attention he liked and was after, plus just wanting to break down my self esteem.
It's all so batshit crazy, especially the making up of these women, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all. It's like he's trying to make me feel and act crazy or something.
2023.05.30 07:07 Away_Zombie_5094 OK, it's impossible to get a job as a new grad at this point. Cost to confirm: 6 months of job searching
Maybe the problem is not about new grads, not even the market, it's about me. As someone with a bachelor's degree in Math(minor in physics), and recently completed a Master's in CS(graduated last Dec, not sure if I can still say recently), I thought this was a reasonable path into the DS or tech field until I began my job hunting 6 months ago.
My background:
School: A Top 30 CS university.
Work experience: Lucky enough to land a DS internship last summer but that's all.
Side Projects: trivial ML projects, some using Deep Learning, CNN, BERT, etc.
Now, you want a data science job? Not even getting a single interview after 100+ applications for the DS role. Let's see some Computer Vision positions, I have done several CV projects, nvm, most of them required PhD and basically research roles, too specialized. Maybe try some Machine Learning roles since it's more general compared to Computer Vision, well, got a few callbacks, spent all the time explaining my projects and ML topics before the interviews, and made up some reasons why would I want to join the company, doesn't help at all, one ghosted after the first stage(resume walkthrough), and one was looking for a candidate is more like a mechanical engineer who's familiar with ML. One rejected because they found someone who has more experience even though I did well in the interview. Since then, haven't heard anything else except a bunch of thank you for applying, some required 6+ years of experience and were labeled junior-level. You know what, let's take one step back, Data Science required experience, let's look for lower-level positions like software engineer and it has more opening positions, but jesus, what are those required skills, REST API, HTML, C#, nodejs, CI/CD, C/C++, I'm going stop making up the names, you know them better than me. Well, I still applied, and grinded some Leetcode, nice, I can solve most easy-medium problems after practicing, which should be enough to pass some interviews, turns out, you shouldn't be surprised, no callback or whatever. I know, the issue is my resume didn't even pass the screening, without any SWE-related projects and skills, it's not a number game, it's like winning a lottery. You may wonder, how come I don't have those skills and haven't done any SWE projects. Well, during the pandemic, I taught myself coding. As you can imagine, once school started, I barely had any time to learn those industry skills while dealing with endless assignments. So, I can't entirely blame myself for this situation. The only thing I'm so regret is didn't plan my career path in advance, now comes the punishment. Such is life I guess.
submitted by Away_Zombie_5094 to u/Away_Zombie_5094 [link] [comments]
My background:
School: A Top 30 CS university.
Work experience: Lucky enough to land a DS internship last summer but that's all.
Side Projects: trivial ML projects, some using Deep Learning, CNN, BERT, etc.
Now, you want a data science job? Not even getting a single interview after 100+ applications for the DS role. Let's see some Computer Vision positions, I have done several CV projects, nvm, most of them required PhD and basically research roles, too specialized. Maybe try some Machine Learning roles since it's more general compared to Computer Vision, well, got a few callbacks, spent all the time explaining my projects and ML topics before the interviews, and made up some reasons why would I want to join the company, doesn't help at all, one ghosted after the first stage(resume walkthrough), and one was looking for a candidate is more like a mechanical engineer who's familiar with ML. One rejected because they found someone who has more experience even though I did well in the interview. Since then, haven't heard anything else except a bunch of thank you for applying, some required 6+ years of experience and were labeled junior-level. You know what, let's take one step back, Data Science required experience, let's look for lower-level positions like software engineer and it has more opening positions, but jesus, what are those required skills, REST API, HTML, C#, nodejs, CI/CD, C/C++, I'm going stop making up the names, you know them better than me. Well, I still applied, and grinded some Leetcode, nice, I can solve most easy-medium problems after practicing, which should be enough to pass some interviews, turns out, you shouldn't be surprised, no callback or whatever. I know, the issue is my resume didn't even pass the screening, without any SWE-related projects and skills, it's not a number game, it's like winning a lottery. You may wonder, how come I don't have those skills and haven't done any SWE projects. Well, during the pandemic, I taught myself coding. As you can imagine, once school started, I barely had any time to learn those industry skills while dealing with endless assignments. So, I can't entirely blame myself for this situation. The only thing I'm so regret is didn't plan my career path in advance, now comes the punishment. Such is life I guess.
2023.05.30 07:07 lucidreamcatcher I've(33m) have been dealing with being accused of being unfaithful/lying by my exgf (26F) who cheated on me.
My exgf cheated on me multiple times. I didn't get tested afterwards. She told me she got tested and was clean. Fast forward, our lease ends and I travel home. I decide to get tested because regardless of the infidelity I'm overdue to be tested. Considering the infidelity and the fact that she didn't use protection any of the times she was unfaithful I am absolutely due to be tested.
She has been throwing me away at every turn." We should go no contact." " I don't want to talk with you anymore." The list painfully goes on.
Today I told her I don't want to get my blood drawn because I had a full panel STD/STI screening done recently and I went into full body sweating and almost fainted. Immediately she tells me that that is "sus af" and then that she's feeling an intense amount of distrust. I explain the distrust is why I got tested. I understand you feeling that way but I'm telling you the truth. I have been faithful.
I couldn't take it and snapped. I told her FU, I don't understand how I can be faithful day in and day out through infidelity for someone to instead try to accuse me of being unfaithful. I'm so tired of being treated like I am worth less than a fraction of what I am. I told her that I am not tolerating this argument when I have been faithful. Idon't care what she thinks, I was being responsible getting tested and to use that as a reason to accuse me of being unfaithful when I have been faithful is just so incredibly wack.
I feel bad for being harsh but I'm at my absolute breaking point and I feel like she couldn't give a singular F less. To be accused of cheating after being cheated on is insult to injury. Injury that has traumatized the hell out of me. I just want to scream right now about it. Salt in a deep deep wound.
It feels like for the last week she's just been antagonizing the hell out of me to push me away with brief intervals of pleasant interaction. She said we should go no contact and after all this I'm pretty sure that's all she's been gunning for for the past who tf knows how long. An absolute waste of my time, emotinal energy, and resources instead of her firmly breaking it off before and cutting both of our losses. I don't understand why pretend to care at all
submitted by lucidreamcatcher to heartbreak [link] [comments]
She has been throwing me away at every turn." We should go no contact." " I don't want to talk with you anymore." The list painfully goes on.
Today I told her I don't want to get my blood drawn because I had a full panel STD/STI screening done recently and I went into full body sweating and almost fainted. Immediately she tells me that that is "sus af" and then that she's feeling an intense amount of distrust. I explain the distrust is why I got tested. I understand you feeling that way but I'm telling you the truth. I have been faithful.
I couldn't take it and snapped. I told her FU, I don't understand how I can be faithful day in and day out through infidelity for someone to instead try to accuse me of being unfaithful. I'm so tired of being treated like I am worth less than a fraction of what I am. I told her that I am not tolerating this argument when I have been faithful. Idon't care what she thinks, I was being responsible getting tested and to use that as a reason to accuse me of being unfaithful when I have been faithful is just so incredibly wack.
I feel bad for being harsh but I'm at my absolute breaking point and I feel like she couldn't give a singular F less. To be accused of cheating after being cheated on is insult to injury. Injury that has traumatized the hell out of me. I just want to scream right now about it. Salt in a deep deep wound.
It feels like for the last week she's just been antagonizing the hell out of me to push me away with brief intervals of pleasant interaction. She said we should go no contact and after all this I'm pretty sure that's all she's been gunning for for the past who tf knows how long. An absolute waste of my time, emotinal energy, and resources instead of her firmly breaking it off before and cutting both of our losses. I don't understand why pretend to care at all
2023.05.30 07:07 EpIc_WoLf__ Who here is gonna buy us maid outfits so you and me can dress up and walk off into the sunset （｀▽´ )
 | submitted by EpIc_WoLf__ to teenagers [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 07:05 wildhorse2864 AITA for accusing my groomsman of stealing?
Throwaway, Background, one of my groomsman, lets call him brad, has been a known shady character among our group, but we all still tend to hang around him for some reason. He is known to have stolen things before and I am even pretty sure he stole from me personally once on vacation but we chalked it up to all being extremely drunk. He has also bragged of stealing in the past from stores, shoppes, etc…
Story: My groomsman collectively threw me one of the best bachelor parties I have ever been a part of and am so extremely grateful for the group of friends I have. Throughout the day we did several things that heavily involved drinking. However while leaving the restaurant, un be knowing to our entire group, Brad stole a bottle of liquor from behind the bar. He began bragging about it while all of us tried to convince him to return it. He refused and this should have been where we cut him out, but we were all drunk and didnt want to ruin the night. We continued to our next location where brad and another groomsman (T), decided to sneak away to a nearby bar. Everyone else stayed at the original location and we left and ended up meeting our other two groomsman at our vrbo for the night.
The next morning I was checking my credit card and saw a charge for the bar Brad & T went to the night prior. I called T who flat out lied about ever going and have not called Brad yet as I believe it will likely turn accusatory and could ruin a friendship. I know this will make things awkward for the entire friend group but I feel like it is the principle that matters not so much the money. FWIW it was only like $20 USD.
submitted by wildhorse2864 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Story: My groomsman collectively threw me one of the best bachelor parties I have ever been a part of and am so extremely grateful for the group of friends I have. Throughout the day we did several things that heavily involved drinking. However while leaving the restaurant, un be knowing to our entire group, Brad stole a bottle of liquor from behind the bar. He began bragging about it while all of us tried to convince him to return it. He refused and this should have been where we cut him out, but we were all drunk and didnt want to ruin the night. We continued to our next location where brad and another groomsman (T), decided to sneak away to a nearby bar. Everyone else stayed at the original location and we left and ended up meeting our other two groomsman at our vrbo for the night.
The next morning I was checking my credit card and saw a charge for the bar Brad & T went to the night prior. I called T who flat out lied about ever going and have not called Brad yet as I believe it will likely turn accusatory and could ruin a friendship. I know this will make things awkward for the entire friend group but I feel like it is the principle that matters not so much the money. FWIW it was only like $20 USD.
2023.05.30 07:04 dc901111 I don’t want to be obsessed with my sister in law
I’m looking for help on what is wrong with me and also external validation that I’m not a terrible person.
Some history on me, mid 30s male, my dad was physically and verbally abusive to me and my siblings. One of my older siblings I saw attempt suicide several times as a child. My little brother had to have multiple surgeries as a child and be taken care of and I was neglected often. A few years ago my first wife took her own life due to postpartum psychosis when our first and only child was a few weeks old. I’m the one who found her and I’ve been so messed up since. Lots of unresolved trauma.
I did therapy for a couple years, and I remarried to the most amazing woman who is the best mom to our child.
Now to the problem:
Throughout my life starting as a child, I’ve had obsessions over certain girls. It started in early elementary like 2nd grade, where my thoughts were taken over by the feeling and the urge to interact with her, to talk and to make her laugh and get her approval. When it wouldn’t happen I would be devastated and when it would I’d be on cloud nine for a few fleeting minutes. I’d imagine us being together, spending time together, being best friends. When I’d be forced back to reality that none of that was true I’d be devastated. And in a cycle it went.
It continued on as I got older, but the target of these unwanted thoughts spread to other relationships. My friends’ sisters, my step aunt or step cousins, teachers, both of my wives’ sisters, cousins, and friends. Female coworkers.
This thought pattern has continued in my brain to this day. Every once in awhile I will remember these girls from my past and my brain wants me to still want them and analyze what went wrong, but I know that isn’t logical and I know it’s crazy I still think about the idea of a girl from second grade over thirty years ago.
Usually there’s only one primary focus at a time, and recently it’s been my sister in law. I just want to talk and spend time with her, make her laugh and get her approval. I’ll get her little thoughtful gifts from Amazon or come up with reasons to text with her. For the most part the thoughts and urges aren’t sexual, but just a desperate desire for approval and attention. These thoughts and feelings are very frequent, every few minutes.
I just want to have a normal brain and thought patterns and have proper mental boundaries. I spend so much mental power and energy fighting these thoughts out of my head. When I’m on cloud nine I’m so happy and have energy and try and repeat the cycle by getting more approval. When I’m slapped back into reality when I find out my sister in law has a date or doesn’t laugh at my joke I’m devastated and can get so depressed.
I feel so damn guilty and gross that I am this way. My wife is the most amazing partner and mother, and she deserves to have someone with 100% focus and attention on her. All these women deserve to be treated with proper boundaries and respect and not be objectified or idealized in my head. I hate that I am this way and want to resolve this so fucking bad. I don’t want to be with anyone else, I want to be with my wife, and I want to have a healthy and happy relationship with my SIL and others.
I told my wife about this a couple of months ago and she has handled it surprisingly well. She knows I have mental health issues and to her this was just added to the list. I thought she would make me sleep on the couch or she’d leave but no. Since telling her, I feel like it’s gotten worse. Like by her reacting the way she did does my subconscious see it as approval and is now going harder?
Is it limerence, ocd, bipolar, intrusive thoughts, all of the above, or something else entirely? How can I fix this?
Thank you for reading this.
submitted by dc901111 to mentalhealth [link] [comments]
Some history on me, mid 30s male, my dad was physically and verbally abusive to me and my siblings. One of my older siblings I saw attempt suicide several times as a child. My little brother had to have multiple surgeries as a child and be taken care of and I was neglected often. A few years ago my first wife took her own life due to postpartum psychosis when our first and only child was a few weeks old. I’m the one who found her and I’ve been so messed up since. Lots of unresolved trauma.
I did therapy for a couple years, and I remarried to the most amazing woman who is the best mom to our child.
Now to the problem:
Throughout my life starting as a child, I’ve had obsessions over certain girls. It started in early elementary like 2nd grade, where my thoughts were taken over by the feeling and the urge to interact with her, to talk and to make her laugh and get her approval. When it wouldn’t happen I would be devastated and when it would I’d be on cloud nine for a few fleeting minutes. I’d imagine us being together, spending time together, being best friends. When I’d be forced back to reality that none of that was true I’d be devastated. And in a cycle it went.
It continued on as I got older, but the target of these unwanted thoughts spread to other relationships. My friends’ sisters, my step aunt or step cousins, teachers, both of my wives’ sisters, cousins, and friends. Female coworkers.
This thought pattern has continued in my brain to this day. Every once in awhile I will remember these girls from my past and my brain wants me to still want them and analyze what went wrong, but I know that isn’t logical and I know it’s crazy I still think about the idea of a girl from second grade over thirty years ago.
Usually there’s only one primary focus at a time, and recently it’s been my sister in law. I just want to talk and spend time with her, make her laugh and get her approval. I’ll get her little thoughtful gifts from Amazon or come up with reasons to text with her. For the most part the thoughts and urges aren’t sexual, but just a desperate desire for approval and attention. These thoughts and feelings are very frequent, every few minutes.
I just want to have a normal brain and thought patterns and have proper mental boundaries. I spend so much mental power and energy fighting these thoughts out of my head. When I’m on cloud nine I’m so happy and have energy and try and repeat the cycle by getting more approval. When I’m slapped back into reality when I find out my sister in law has a date or doesn’t laugh at my joke I’m devastated and can get so depressed.
I feel so damn guilty and gross that I am this way. My wife is the most amazing partner and mother, and she deserves to have someone with 100% focus and attention on her. All these women deserve to be treated with proper boundaries and respect and not be objectified or idealized in my head. I hate that I am this way and want to resolve this so fucking bad. I don’t want to be with anyone else, I want to be with my wife, and I want to have a healthy and happy relationship with my SIL and others.
I told my wife about this a couple of months ago and she has handled it surprisingly well. She knows I have mental health issues and to her this was just added to the list. I thought she would make me sleep on the couch or she’d leave but no. Since telling her, I feel like it’s gotten worse. Like by her reacting the way she did does my subconscious see it as approval and is now going harder?
Is it limerence, ocd, bipolar, intrusive thoughts, all of the above, or something else entirely? How can I fix this?
Thank you for reading this.
2023.05.30 07:03 raccp18 I F-21 want to get over this situation, how can I make this work with my bf M-21?
We've been together for about 8 months now, and while the first month was amazing, things have taken a turn for the worse. Here's what's been happening:
I started noticing my boyfriend talking frequently with a friend, and whenever I asked about her, he would say she was just a good friend. At first, I didn't mind their video calls, but I got suspicious when I saw some old texts between them with romantic GIFs and kisses. When I confronted him, he denied it and locked his phone. I cried a lot because I wanted to know who she was, but he didn't show me their chats. Later, I found out that she was actually his girlfriend and they hadn't broken up. I was completely shocked, but we decided to continue our relationship.
Another girl named Rachel from his college came into the picture, and he started flirting with her. When I asked him why, he explained that he had doubts about our relationship because of my past friends-with-benefits relationships. He thought I might leave him soon, so he wanted to explore other options.
He went on a trip with his college friends (all guys), but I didn't want him to go. I expressed my concerns about being alone because I struggle with sleeping, getting emotional, and having panic attacks when I'm by myself. He reassured me that I would manage and be strong while he was away. However, during the four days he was gone, I couldn't sleep and kept texting him to share my feelings. Later, I found out that he had called his ex and told her that he felt pressured in our relationship and that his relationship with her was better. Once again, I was shocked and hurt by his actions.
We had planned to have a threesome with another girl, and both of us were talking to her. However, I discovered that he had separately asked her to have sex with him and explicitly told her not to tell me about it. This revelation left me in utter shock.
In his job search, he communicates with HR representatives over WhatsApp for updates. One HR representative happened to be his ex's friend, and their conversation turned to the topic of sex. He even asked her if she wanted to sleep with him. Once again, I was shocked and hurt by his actions.
Throughout our relationship, he has been comparing me to his exes and friends in terms of physical attributes like boobs and body shape. This constant comparison has made me feel inadequate, especially since I've gained weight due to depression.
Main issue: We've had discussions about all these incidents, and he attributes his behavior to low self-esteem. He explained that he feels proud when other girls want to sleep with him because it makes him believe he's good enough for me. It's been 1.5 months since he last flirted with anyone because he promised he would change. We currently live together, but we're moving back to our hometown where our families live just 3 km apart.
I'm struggling to trust him with other girls, even though he claims to love me. I've given him countless chances because I don't want to lose him, but I'm concerned that when we move back home, he might repeat his past actions since I won't be able to check his phone or monitor his behavior as closely. Yesterday, I broke down in tears again thinking about how he used to compare me to others and how he flirted with other girls. His excuse for all this has been his "low self-esteem."
I do everything for him and I try my best, the sex is good and everything is good apart from this phase. This phase has affected me a lot, I cry over little things, I get hurt quickly.
Please suggest how I get over this situation, because I keep thinking about what he did in the past and what he can do in future. I don't want him to leave and I want to help him. He has not done such things in 1.5 months now but I'm scared.
TDLR: I f21 struggling to trust my bf m21 with girls.
submitted by raccp18 to relationships [link] [comments]
I started noticing my boyfriend talking frequently with a friend, and whenever I asked about her, he would say she was just a good friend. At first, I didn't mind their video calls, but I got suspicious when I saw some old texts between them with romantic GIFs and kisses. When I confronted him, he denied it and locked his phone. I cried a lot because I wanted to know who she was, but he didn't show me their chats. Later, I found out that she was actually his girlfriend and they hadn't broken up. I was completely shocked, but we decided to continue our relationship.
Another girl named Rachel from his college came into the picture, and he started flirting with her. When I asked him why, he explained that he had doubts about our relationship because of my past friends-with-benefits relationships. He thought I might leave him soon, so he wanted to explore other options.
He went on a trip with his college friends (all guys), but I didn't want him to go. I expressed my concerns about being alone because I struggle with sleeping, getting emotional, and having panic attacks when I'm by myself. He reassured me that I would manage and be strong while he was away. However, during the four days he was gone, I couldn't sleep and kept texting him to share my feelings. Later, I found out that he had called his ex and told her that he felt pressured in our relationship and that his relationship with her was better. Once again, I was shocked and hurt by his actions.
We had planned to have a threesome with another girl, and both of us were talking to her. However, I discovered that he had separately asked her to have sex with him and explicitly told her not to tell me about it. This revelation left me in utter shock.
In his job search, he communicates with HR representatives over WhatsApp for updates. One HR representative happened to be his ex's friend, and their conversation turned to the topic of sex. He even asked her if she wanted to sleep with him. Once again, I was shocked and hurt by his actions.
Throughout our relationship, he has been comparing me to his exes and friends in terms of physical attributes like boobs and body shape. This constant comparison has made me feel inadequate, especially since I've gained weight due to depression.
Main issue: We've had discussions about all these incidents, and he attributes his behavior to low self-esteem. He explained that he feels proud when other girls want to sleep with him because it makes him believe he's good enough for me. It's been 1.5 months since he last flirted with anyone because he promised he would change. We currently live together, but we're moving back to our hometown where our families live just 3 km apart.
I'm struggling to trust him with other girls, even though he claims to love me. I've given him countless chances because I don't want to lose him, but I'm concerned that when we move back home, he might repeat his past actions since I won't be able to check his phone or monitor his behavior as closely. Yesterday, I broke down in tears again thinking about how he used to compare me to others and how he flirted with other girls. His excuse for all this has been his "low self-esteem."
I do everything for him and I try my best, the sex is good and everything is good apart from this phase. This phase has affected me a lot, I cry over little things, I get hurt quickly.
Please suggest how I get over this situation, because I keep thinking about what he did in the past and what he can do in future. I don't want him to leave and I want to help him. He has not done such things in 1.5 months now but I'm scared.
TDLR: I f21 struggling to trust my bf m21 with girls.