Joe machens chrysler dodge jeep ram
MoPar
2011.03.30 04:11 MoPar
2009.04.24 05:47 hax0r Chrysler: Imported From Detroit
2013.08.21 23:47 Mr_Mudkip Street Racing Technology
Discuss, share, and ask about any SRT vehicle or SRT motorsports.
2023.05.30 02:09 Legenkilla Ram laramie 2022 upgrades to make look sportier?
 | So when we got the truck we pretty much took all they had back then. I feel white is dull and i feel the body is just bland when u look at gmcs and chevys. Something easy as im not much of a car guy and know how to do much with em. ( wish i woulda got the sports appearance package) . Any suggestions? submitted by Legenkilla to ram_trucks [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 01:11 AggravatingMath717 SP or HC? Dealer near me appears to be selling a SPWB and a HCNB for essentially the same price?
 | submitted by AggravatingMath717 to Challenger [link] [comments] |
2023.05.29 14:23 Moist-Accountant-516 Potential added cars for Driver: San Francisco
Driver: San Francisco is one of the best open-world racing games I've played. I really appreciated its story, Shift mechanic, and car diversity, but there were unfortunately too few cars for me. I understand that Reflections didn't have a lot of time to model a lot of cars nor were they able to license from certain manufacturers, but just imagine if there were no licensing restrictions. Here's a list of cars that I think would've fit Driver SF.
I don't know if the Porsches can co-exist with RUF, but the Panamera and CGT don't have RUF equivalents.
submitted by Moist-Accountant-516 to driver [link] [comments]
2010 Acura MDX 2010 Acura TL SH-AWD 2010 Acura TSX V6 1971 AMC Javelin AMX 2011 Audi A1 1.4 TFSI 2009 Audi A3 Sportback 2.0 TFSI quattro 2008 Audi A4 3.2 FSI quattro 2011 Audi A8 6.3 FSI L 2010 BMW 135i Coupé 2009 BMW 330i xDrive 1974 BMW 2002 Turbo 2008 BMW M3 Coupé 2005 BMW M5 Sedan 2010 BMW X5 xDrive50i 2008 BMW X6 xDrive50i 2010 BMW Z4 sDrive35is 2009 Buick Enclave CXL 1987 Buick GNX 2010 Buick LaCrosse CXS 2010 Chevrolet Tahoe LTZ 2010 Chevrolet Tahoe Police 2005 Chrysler 300C SRT-8 2005 Chrysler Crossfire SRT-6 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT-8 2011 Honda Accord EX-L V6 Coupe 2009 Honda Civic Si Sedan 2009 Honda Element 2009 Honda Fit Sport 2010 Honda Insight 2008 Honda S2000 CR 2007 Hyundai Accent SE 2009 Hyundai Genesis 3.8 Grand Touring Coupe 2011 Hyundai Sonata Limited 2010 Infiniti FX50 2011 Infiniti G37 IPL Coupe 2011 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited 2008 Lexus GS 460 2008 Lexus IS F 2010 Lincoln MKZ AWD 2009 Maserati Quattroporte Sport GT S 2010 Mazda CX-7 2009 Mazda MX-5 Miata 1995 Mazda RX-7 2009 Mazda RX-8 2010 Mazdaspeed 3 2008 Mercedes-Benz C 350 Sedan 2011 Mercedes-Benz CLS 63 AMG 2007 Mercedes-Benz R 63 AMG 4MATIC 2010 Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG 2009 Mitsubishi Eclipse GT 2011 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X GSR 2010 Nissan Altima 3.5SR 2008 Nissan Armada 2009 Nissan Murano LE 2010 Nissan Versa 1.8 SL Hatchback 2009 Pontiac G8 GXP 2009 Pontiac Vibe GT 2009 Porsche 911 Turbo 2003 Porsche Carrera GT 2009 Porsche Panamera Turbo 2008 Saab 9-3 2.8T V6 Aero Convertible 2010 Saab 9-5 Aero 2012 Scion iQ 2011 Scion xB 2011 Scion tC 2009 Subaru Forester 2.5XT Premium 1998 Subaru Impreza 22B STI 2011 Subaru Impreza WRX STI Sedan 2010 Toyota Camry XLE 2010 Toyota Corolla XRS 2007 Toyota FJ Cruiser 2010 Toyota Prius 2011 Toyota Sienna XLE 1993 Toyota Supra TurboAs you can see, most of these cars are everyday USDM cars sold between the mid-2000s and 2011. I know the Audi A4 exists in the game, but I changed it to a 3.2 FSI model for it to be balanced with the Alfa 159. Let me know what you guys think of the list, and I may add more cars, but I want to be careful with the additions because I want to create a balanced extended list.
I don't know if the Porsches can co-exist with RUF, but the Panamera and CGT don't have RUF equivalents.
2023.05.28 23:55 Bateman_Not_Batman #how to get ahead in ai.dvertising [SP]
The Future is Officially Canceled.
Dee had read articles like this before. He couldn’t remember if the future had ever been officially canceled. But it had been canceled. Unofficially, perhaps. Hence the need to do it officially.
He skimmed the first few paragraphs …the slow cancellation of the future… …pop culture is eating itself… …imitators are imitating an imitation… The ‘slow cancellation’ theory was first flung around in the early twenty first century, on the hypothesis that if you played 1970s music to someone in the 1950s, it would blow their freaking mind. And if you played music from the 1990s to someone in the 1970s, their mind would be equally blown. But if you played music from the ‘10s to someone in the 1990s it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch. In fact, that person may even think they had heard some of it before. The same thing with music from the ‘30s to someone in the ‘10s or music from now to someone in the ‘30s. That person might conceivably think they were even listening to music from a previous decade. Pop culture had referenced itself so many times over, it was now just a copy of a copy of a copy. Degrading every time.
Dee looked down at the article's credit, Dennis Bagley, Editorial AI Operator. He knew it, AI. No wonder it read so familiar. He looked up at the various awards on his top shelf. Dee knew he was different. Better. His AI operating skills were the thing of accolades. The thing of applause. Just last week he and his AI processor picked up Gold in Effectology for their Just Poo It campaign for Charmin. And Silver in Originology for their The Ketchup In The Rye commercial for Pepsi-Heinz, about a young guy who gets kicked out of school and stays out all night trying to find a bottle of ketchup. He looked down at his processor and beamed. Its glowing red light beamed back at him.
They didn’t just stumble into that kind of effectiveness. Campaigns didn’t even get greenlit unless they scored ninety or above on the Effectology meter. He and his AI were usually hitting ninety twos or ninety threes, even a ninety five for Here’s To The Lazy Ones for Caspar mattresses. That campaign killed.
But Dee held himself to that higher calling, Originology. The metrics of original ideas. Sure, the AI did most of the work but Dee was able to tweak his processor to go way beyond the requisite twenty five percent Originology score. Together they were nailing figures in the forties, sometimes even peaking into the fifties. Scores that were head and shoulders above the rest of the department.
That’s how he could afford the sweet ‘18 Jordans Reissues on his feet. He curled his luxe Loewe headphone cable through his fingers and wrapped it around his neck like a scarf. He scoffed at a time when people didn’t think they needed a headphone cable. And imagined having nothing to twirl while listening to reinterpreted rock, nothing to wind around his fingers while he fed the processor. How many headphones must have been lost forever, just because they weren’t plugged in? Like everything else in pop culture, what went around came around, and, relatively recently, headphone cables had come back hard as the status symbol. Today, you didn’t just have to have a cable to be considered cool, you had to have the cable. It had to be thick as a rope, plated with rare metals, and covered in a fancy leather sheath from a chic brand like Gucci or Loewe.
Dee beamed as he thought of all the cool historical cultural knowledge he had amassed. Not just advertising history like the dweebs in the cubicles around him, but film history, fashion history, art history, music history. If it happened in culture, he knew about it. And he used it. That’s how he scored so high on the Originology meter. It made him feel almost like a real writer. Though he would never say that out loud. He imagined being like the old timers, upstairs. The un.ai.ded human writers, that clients would pay a serious premium for. Then he wouldn’t have to work on ketchup and toilet roll. He could have a crack at the big dogs, like Googlesoft, United American Airlines or DoritosLocosTacoBell. For now though, he’d have to stick with clients more becoming of his position. This morning’s task was to create a campaign for Pepsi-Crest. A toothpaste. Not super interesting. But he knew how to spice it up. Instead of letting his AI go back through decades of toothpaste ads just to pump out tired old crap like the It Cleans Your Face While it Cleans Your Teeth campaign that Mike Bey pitched last week, Dee mixed in a little fast food inspo from one of his favorite eras and found himself at the highly original and equally effective Where’s the Teeth? campaign. He was stunned by his own brilliance. He patted his processor and imagined it congratulating him back, then he programmed it to write an epic fifteen second anthem film and a suite of six second pre-roll spots, then sent it off to the CG department to render in time to air that night. Dee’s colleagues often asked him how he and his processor were so good at what they did. How their campaigns always scored so highly in both Effectology and Originology. They all used the same machine learning. It’s what the agency sold itself on. Never wanting to sound aloof; even though he was, or like he was tooting his own horn; even though he often did, he would merely say, “I like to pepper a bit of non advertising data in there. A little hint of me.” It was enough to provoke gasps and even make his colleagues take a step back or two, they had all been programmed to do just one task, feed the machine with advertising data. They couldn’t fathom diverging. “The AI should be enough,” was the general understanding. “The machine has better knowledge of advertising history than we do,” and “knows the ins and outs of Effectology better than we ever could.” It’s even been “scientifically programmed to exceed all expectation of Originology.” Dee couldn’t be swayed by any of the standard reactions. He would just smile, and casually amble off. Knowing full well he was beating the machine. He was a rebel in his own right. That afternoon, his section boss leaned over his cubicle. “Hullo Tara.” “Keep it formal please, colleague,” she scolded, “call me Antino. What do you look so ruddy chuffed about anyway?” “I just came up with a brilliant campaign for a very dull toothpaste. You’ll see it on The Comedy Central Reruns Channel tonight.” “Yes, well, an upstairs project is running behind and they’re calling on us down here to pull together some inspo decks, help jostle something loose in those tired old brains.” “Wouldn’t that make them not human-made? What are their clients paying all that money for?” “Loopholes, colleague, loopholes. As long as one of them humans writes the final line, it doesn’t matter how much AI they used to get there. “ “I could do that. I could do better than that. Did I tell you about my toothpaste campaign?” “Yes you did. Twice now. Must be good.” “It is.” “Well, here’s your chance for a peek into the real writer life. I’m deprioritizing your regular workload and prioritizing this inspo creation.” “Yeahhh!” Dee punched the air and freeze framed like he saw in an old movie. “The brief is for Fiat Maserati Jeep Dodge RAM. It’s a car. The Fiat Maserati Jeep Dodge RAM Unica. Like a fancy off-roader, you know what I mean? They wanna sell it to people in cities who don’t drive. More of a status symbol, you know what I mean? Like park it in front of your house so people will know you could go off-roading if you wanted to. Audience archetype is Moms. You getting this?” Dee finally broke his freeze frame but his mind was already whirring. “Yeah, I got it.” “Alright then. Bon chance.” Dee jumped into action, flipped up his AI processor’s screen and started cross referencing old Land Rover ads with The Rock movies, some Nora Ephron classics, Michelle Rodriguez’s character from all twenty eight Fast & Furious movies; even the fully CGI’d ones, the scene from Mrs Doubtfire when she’s playing the broomstick like a guitar, some Bikini Kill records, a memory of his own Mom making him wait in the car while she went shopping at Bergdorfs, a bunch of cool off-roading stuff from Top Gear and a painting of a car he’d always loved by Robert Bechtle. The machine spat out fifteen possible campaign inspo starters and Dee ran-walked them to the inspo courier in the office atrium. Before the day ended, a synthetic orchestra sounded through the building, \Pah pahhh, pah pa pah pa pah pahhh** and the employees were called into the atrium. Office meeting. As Dee strolled in, he caught the rare sight of the last few human copywriters lined up around the balcony above them. They applauded the downstairs employees, theatrically, motioning with their claps as they walked in and took seats, stood awkwardly or otherwise congregated.
There was a dramatic hush before one of the last true human copywriters finally spoke. “Great inspo. Thanks.” Wow. Each word, each letter, worth its weight in gold. That's probably why they used so few, thought Dee. “Yeah, really really good stuff.” Said another. “AI did this?” Said a third as she held the sheets of inspo out. “Some of the best inspo I’ve ever seen in all of my career.” Coughed the oldest and most regal sounding.
Dee squinted and peered up at them. Was that his inspo deck they were flashing around? Was this whole elaborate ceremony all to celebrate his AI operating? He didn’t know whether to be chuffed or anxious. Did they know he was cheating the system? Did they care? These are some of the last true human copywriters in history. They have, and are encouraged to have, the unique thought. Their work isn’t judged on how similar-without-being-exactly-the-same it is to existing campaigns. It’s judged on how different, how breakthrough, how stand out it is.
“It was me!” Dee blurted out. Quite uncharacteristically. He was usually so cool with the compliments. So coy with the recognition. His whole angle required it.
The other AI operators standing around him took their requisite step back, though this time it was less in awe, more in disgust. The air in the room stiffened. AI had ruled his department, and most of the industry, for so long that people didn’t speak up anymore. They just quietly fed the machine. And the machine took all the glory. Dee felt instant ostracism from the colleagues he had worked alongside for most of his career. He immediately questioned his outburst and retracted his ownership claim, knowing that his inspo deck would have been one of many.
“Some of it, at least. My AI, I mean. Processor.” He said. Sheepish this time. Back in his place.
The last few human copywriters smiled, nodded, bowed, gave final congratulations to all from high up on their balcony and then shuffled away in single file. All but one, Sir Coughing-Most-Regal. He slowly made his way down the grand staircase, into the atrium. A man leaving behind his usual pomp and circumstance, bringing his rare ability of unique thought into a crowd of imitation suppliers. As he reached the bottom step, he lost all of his royal air and seemed suddenly so vulnerable, walking among the regular folk. Most of Dee’s colleagues had already left, gone back to their metal masters, but Dee stayed. He knew this old man was coming to see him. He thought he might be in for a dressing down but he hoped it would be the opposite. He manifested that this titan of singular thought, the rare, unique idea, was coming to congratulate him.
“Freedkin.” The old man shoved out his hand. “Pleasure.” Dee shook it. “You say you programmed this inspo deck, yes?” He flapped the pages around. “Yes.” “Ruddy good work, let me tell you.” “Thank you.” “In all my years, since this artificial thinking thing came in, I’ve never read anything so good. Inspired me all over. I’ve been positively bursting with ideas since.” “Thank… you.” “AI wrote this you say?” “Yes.” “Ruddy good for AI. Never read anything so ruddy good. And you processed it?” “Yes.” “What’s your name son?” “Dee.” “Dee what?” “Palmer.” “Pleasure to meet you, Palmer. How much did you… influence it, the AI?” “How do you mean, sir?” “Call me Freedkin.” “How do you mean, Freedkin?” “I mean… how much of it is yours and how much is the machine’s?” Dee didn’t answer. He was looking for the angle. This old man surely didn’t value what AI does. He’s one of the last bastions of actual human creation. What was he getting at? Freedkin reoriented his question. “Mostly the machine or mostly you?” Dee thought he might have a kindred spirit here, in front of him, for the first time. He was going to take a risk. Recognizing a willingness to open up, Freedkin leaned in and spoke quietly. “Did you write this inspo or did the machine?” “I wrote it.” Dee postured. “All.” “Thought so. Good job. Our secret.” Freedkin winked. “Jolly good.” The next day, as he fed his AI little snippets of unexpected data, Dee noticed a hush come over his floor. The usual keyboard click, clack and grumble of inter-colleague banter were dead silent. All that was left was the processors’ harmonic hum. He lifted himself from his expensive ergonomic office chair and peered over his cubicle wall, spying across the sea of operators that made up the AI.ded Creativity department. A hunched figure at the opposite end of the bullpen sauntered from operator to operator, swilling a cup of coffee, looking in at each workstation. Giving a “hello” here, a nod there, even the odd salute. It was Freedkin. A real writer. Down here with the machine feeders. The other operators seemed afraid to go near him. Worried they might infect him with their inability. Dee had never seen a real writer in the operators’ bullpen. Freedkin, already old by industry standards, looked positively ancient in these surroundings. A sepia photograph in a technicolor world. Dee watched him, wondering if he should call out. He felt bound by social etiquette to not foist another outburst onto his peers. So he just watched, for a number of minutes, until Freedkin was close enough that his old eyes could make out Dee’s visage.
“Palmer!” Bingo. The two sat in Dee’s cubicle. Freedkin in the expensive office chair, as was fitting, and Dee on the wooden footstool. “For a short time we all worked from home. At the start of my career. For a short time.” “Everyone?” “Most. Not everyone, I suppose. But it was the thing to do. Was deemed more productive. Until it wasn’t. Then when this thing became the norm,” he tapped on Dee’s tiny AI processor, its red light glowed, “there was a sort of an office renaissance. I remember the bigwigs back then didn’t really want us using AI for ideas. Like it was giving in to the machine. We slowly got called back to the agency so they could keep an eye on our output. Keep it human, I suppose. That’s when the separation happened. In the end, the agency had to start using artificial thinking to keep up with demand. What are you lot churning out these days? Three campaigns a day? Four? We used to get a whole week to come up with one idea. After a while, of course, it got squeezed down to a couple of days. To the point where we needed the machine to keep up. Not long after, the bigwigs realized they could actually charge more off of the ‘human’ written stuff. Anyway, enough of the history lesson, what.” “It’s very interesting.” “Yes well, what I really came down here for,” Freedkin paused and looked around, “was some of that… good… inspo.” “I hear ya.” Dee poised his fingers over his keyboard and looked into the air like he was about to write something un.ai.ded, cocksure in his posture. “What’s this one about then?” “Watches. For Googlesoft. ‘Time,’ I was thinking, means so much, yet so little. Where does it all go? You know? How do we make more of it? Watches are time machines. See?” Dee’s posture sank. He thought of all that, by himself? No machine? He suddenly felt very ineffective. Unoriginal. He saw only the red glow from his little AI processor, staring back at him. Taking all the credit. He imagined it laughing with his colleagues in a bar while he sat at the other end of the table, ignored. He imagined it accepting awards by itself. He felt weak. He felt useless without it. It just glowed. “It kind of flows better… when I’m alone.” Dee nervously mumbled. “Right. Don’t say another word. Right you are. ‘Time.’ Remember. Where does it all go? Ok, I go. Ta-ta for now.
Dee looked down at his processor, apologetically. He quietly admonished himself before it until he felt forgiven. Then he typed in a weak initial prompt, all he could muster, write an advertising campaign about time.
The AI spat back a perfectly crafted campaign idea, line and film execution almost faster than Dee hit enter. The Best Things Come To Bros Who Wait. Dee immediately recognized it as a Guinness Surfers imitation. Tick followed tock followed tick followed tock. Its Effectology score clocked in well into the nineties. But its Originology score barely scraped by, just making it into ‘passable.’ Dee silently sneered at his surrounding coworkers. Any one of them would submit this as is and call it a day. It’d be rendered in minutes, deals made with celebrities’ CG likenesses under the hour, a revered AI voiceover and stunning synthetic music that would leave audiences lining up for these passively useful timepieces. But that wasn’t enough for Dee. That’s why he was who he was, goddamnit. Why Freedkin came to him. Him! Not Buton or Deytoro or Heckering. Him!
He added more detail to his prompt. Meaning of time. How to get time back. Time Machine. Back in time. Michael J Fox. Einstein (dog). Time Bandits. Timecop. Van Damme. Kyle Reece. Time displacement. Uhhh huhhh this felt good again. This was working. Dee and his processor were back in sync. As though they were one. Of course, as far as Freedkin knew, they were one. As Dee typed away, he imagined him and his AI coming together. Two heads. Better than one. He lost himself in his prompting and pictured his processor sitting on his shoulder, a second head, right there, next to his own. A tiny, metal appendage. Sleek, gray, with its glowing red light. And, for some reason, it was growing a little mustache. Dee and the mustached machine were completely lost in their work over the next few days. They hardly wrote any of their own campaigns. It was all inspo, inspo, inspo for Freedkin. The good stuff though, Viking Space Cruises, 1900 Tequila, Acne Studios. Each time, Dee and his processor were pretty much writing the entire thing. Freedkin hardly needed to change them at all. Just put his old world tone all over it. Add all of his extra words and ‘personality.’ Dee’s two heads were coming up with the best campaigns in the agency. And no one knew it. Except Freedkin. By now, his second head felt almost as big as his first. He could see it in his periphery. When he looked to the left, it looked back at him. It smiled sometimes. And that little freaking mustache was starting to freak Dee out. That night, Freedkin invited Dee for a couple of drinks with the other real human writers at the fanciest DoritosLocosTacoBell on the Westside. They didn’t even have to wait in line. Dee marveled at the size of the place, the expansiveness. It was packed. They were led through by the greeter to a private table at the back with a leather rope around it. He sat on the edge of the booth as the others ordered various flavors of Gatorade-aritas. When it got to Dee, he said he would have the same as Freedkin, which turned out to be a Frost Glacier Cherry-arita, the classiest -arita of all.
The writers’ conversation was mesmerizing. Every word that came out of their mouths was a unique thought. An opinion. A point of view. Dee tried to join in by recounting the narrative of various movies he had seen. The more obscure the better, attempting to interact at their level. While telling the story of Mick Jackson’s Threads to Bigelo, he could feel her searching for a point of view or an opinion in what he was saying, but he couldn’t stir one. If only he had his processor right now. Its red light glowed comfortingly in his mind. He missed it. Slowly, the other writers left. Dee couldn’t help but think he had something to do with it. He was feeling so inadequate by the time everyone but Freedkin had gone that he just sat quietly and half-smiled at him. Both of them were five or six Gatorade-aritas deep, slumped in their private booth. “Do you like what you do?” Asked Freedkin. “I love it.” “Do you really?” “I don’t know.” “I hate what I do. But I’m good at it. Do you want to know the secret, Palmer? The secret to what we do?” Dee couldn’t do anything but smile a little bigger to communicate his response. Freedkin paused for dramatic effect. “If you love advertising, you shouldn’t work in advertising.” Did Dee love advertising? He didn’t even know. He knew he knew advertising. “You think your audience loves advertising? You think they want to see your tribute to that Googlesoft spot that was an imitation of an Apple spot that was inspired by a Brett Morgen film? No! They just want to see the Brett Morgen film! They don’t want to see your thing at all!” Dee slumped further down. “But if you’re lucky,” Freedkin continued, “if you’re really lucky, and you show them something they’ve never seen before, because you hate advertising too and you just wanted to make something that made you feel something, if they feel that same feeling, you’ve got gold. But you can only get to gold by summoning all of your experiences outside of advertising. You can’t just try to make the Nike of pimple commercials. You have to make the Palmer of pimple commercials. Do you see? That’s the problem with your AI. Your machine.”
The red light flashed again in Dee’s mind. Awakened by Freedkin’s heresy.
“The best AI will ever do is just show you a better version of something you’ve seen before. They call that effective? The numbers can say whatever they want them to, all they’re really doing is pasting wallpaper on top of wallpaper on top of wallpaper. Until eventually the audience ignores it completely. But you’re different Palmer. You and I are different. Different is what sells. I had a word with Simmons up on six. She’s agreed to give you a trial period on the human floor. At my behest. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her you were already thinking for yourself. I just told her you had the potential to. You start tomorrow. Trial period. Tonight was about the other humans meeting you. I can’t tell you that they’re not skeptical. But they’re open to it. For me. What do you think?” Dee was nervous. He got off the elevator at the operators’ bullpen without even thinking about it. He walked all the way to the atrium and up the grand staircase to the human writers’ floor, instead of getting back on the elevator. He took each step steadily, taking it all in. He felt like a tourist. Like he was borrowing an identity. He imagined he was a young Freedkin and tried to put a confident stride in his step. It didn’t work. He put his hand in his pocket and felt for his AI processor. His second head. Mustached. He couldn’t turn it on because, as everyone knew, AI wasn’t allowed upstairs, in case the agency got audited. The cost consultants would be all over a human writing department that used artificial ideation. They’d be shut down. At the very least, they would lose their Un.AI.ded AI.dvertising license. The only reason for charging such a premium. Dee ran his hand along the balcony rail. He’d only ever seen it from downstairs, from the non-human thinkers’ floor. He walked from the balcony to the human writer’s work area. It was the exact opposite of what he was used to. No sea of cubicles. No click clack. No mechanized productivity. No hum. Just couches, writing desks and quiet.
“Morning.” Whistled Freedkin. “How are we?” “We?” “You.” “Wish I hadn’t drunk so much.” “Ohh, I know. Think of it as an initiation. Nothing wrong with it. Takes your mind off the job. Stops you from thinking for a minute. You need that after everything you’ve been pumping out. All that gold, that is.” “Right.” “Right. Well. Set yourself up wherever you like. First brief is for Coca-Cola. A new water! The freshest water they’ve ever sold, so they say. Tap Clear” Dee wandered over to a small writing desk and put his touchscreen down. He unraveled his headphone cable and felt for his processor in his pocket. When he found it, he rubbed it like a lamp, wishing for a genie. A couple of human writers who’d been deep in concentration when he first walked in, had been disturbed by his arrival. He didn’t recognize them from last night. They glared at him as he set himself up. He smiled in their general direction. They continued to glare. “Big Jim.” Whispered Freedkin. “Him and his team have been here three days straight, on a pitch. Don’t worry about them. They’re just under tremendous stress. This human work really takes it out of you, you know? ” Dee turned and sat with his back to them. He powered up his touchscreen and put his headphones on, draping his Loewe headphone cable around his neck and shoulders. He hovered his fingers over his keyboard, expecting ideas to come. Nothing. He skimmed the brief. Still nothing. He read the brief. Not a thing. A few of the other writers strolled in. Dee watched them find a workspace, sit down, start writing. One of them even used a pen! Dee loved this whole lifestyle. Turn up for work whenever, spout genius, have lunch, sell some billion dollar ideas, have a cocktail. The thought of it all spurred him on. He hovered his fingers over his keyboard again and braced himself for the idea flow. Nothing came. Nothing. All morning. His mind was blank. It felt like it was getting blanker. He couldn’t believe it. Even half thoughts were swimming away from him. Impossible to catch. Even just individual words. Gone. By the afternoon Dee was starting to freak out. He felt like an imposter. “Freedkin,” he hissed, “I can’t think. I can’t come up with anything.” “It takes time, my boy. Days. I told you, before we used to even have weeks…” “But my brain’s not working at all. It won’t… generate… anything.” “Relax your brain. Relax yourself.” “But Freedkin… Freedkin,” he hissed again, “I didn’t write any of that stuff. It was AI. All of it. No… I mean… I helped… but it wasn’t all me.” “Ok… hold on… boy… be careful. That kind of talk will get you killed around here. Try and make it to the end of the day. Try just writing some things down. Some thoughts. Some words. And if you still feel the same tomorrow, I’ll let the brass know it wasn’t for you. No harm.” Dee’s eyes hardened. “Do you hear me, Palmer?” Dee rubbed his temples. “Listen, this affects both of us. Yes, you, but also me… for recommending you. I’ll be out… Think!” Freedkin distanced himself. Hoping it would quell the panic. Dee stared at nothing for as long as he could. An hour, at most. Just stared. No thoughts came. No words. A blank screen. So he slipped his hand in his pocket, held his AI processor warmly, and turned it on. Instantly, an alarm sounded. “What's going on here, Freedkin?” Skewered Big Jim. “Is this your kid? What’s the big idea? Is he working for the machines? What is he…trying to infiltrate us? I can’t have this. I’ve got a family. I can’t be out of a job.” “It’s just a misunderstanding, Jim. He’ll be leaving now.” “No he won’t. Get back here, kid.” Big Jim grabbed at Dee’s shirt. Dee squirmed and tried to push him away. Big Jim got a hand on his neck instead, as some of the other writers tried to grab his arms. Dee instinctively swung his fists around. He got one of the writers, Bigelo, square in the eye. She roared “He’s blinded me!” Big Jim picked him up by his neck. Dee choked. He grabbed his touchscreen and swung it. The edge caught Big Jim on the side of the head. Big Jim dropped him and screamed. Freedkin put a hand on Big Jim’s shoulder. Big Jim swung his fist around and slammed it into Freedkin’s nose. Dee tried to slip away but Big Jim, raging, grabbed his headphone cable and dragged him back, winding the cable around his neck to try and hold on to him with it. The other writers stepped back as Dee kicked around in a panic. He got one of the writers in the stomach and another in the back. The headphone cable slipped out of Big Jim’s hands. Dee reached out for anything he could grab onto. He found a desk leg and pulled himself away from the melee as the gang of writers got him by his feet. They pulled off his Jordans and he crawled away as fast as he could, out of the writers’ area and onto the balcony. The writers caught up with him. He swung the few punches he could muster. He cracked one writer on the cheekbone as another reached for his headphone cable, wrapping it around the balcony rail to stop him from getting even further away. Big Jim steamed in, bleeding from his head, and slammed into Dee, launching him into the air with his sheer force. Dee reached for the rail but it slipped under him as he toppled over into the open atrium, between the floors. He felt a snap as the headphone cable went taut around his neck. A colleague standing in the atrium shrieked. Dee kicked his legs and wriggled about, trying to slip out. He clawed his hands around the cable and tried to loosen it but it just got tighter and tighter. He looked up to see the human writers peering down. Not helping. He could feel his consciousness slipping away. He looked to his left to see his second head staring straight back at him. As he hung, he could feel the metal head growing, exponentially, until it popped off, hit the ground and shattered. Shiny gray liquid metal spilled all over the floor and splashed up the walls. Its red light glowing all over as the metal spread around the room. Once it had flooded the entire atrium it enveloped Dee’s mind. And he was gone. The agency left his body hanging there for two days. They blamed it on a lack of janitorial availability. Everything in the office was automated, and cutting down a dead body wasn’t something their sanitation robots had been programmed to do. But, deep down, everyone knew that it was a message. That they should stay in the roles they had been assigned. So they did. So they wouldn’t end up like Dee.
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Dee had read articles like this before. He couldn’t remember if the future had ever been officially canceled. But it had been canceled. Unofficially, perhaps. Hence the need to do it officially.
He skimmed the first few paragraphs …the slow cancellation of the future… …pop culture is eating itself… …imitators are imitating an imitation… The ‘slow cancellation’ theory was first flung around in the early twenty first century, on the hypothesis that if you played 1970s music to someone in the 1950s, it would blow their freaking mind. And if you played music from the 1990s to someone in the 1970s, their mind would be equally blown. But if you played music from the ‘10s to someone in the 1990s it wouldn’t be that much of a stretch. In fact, that person may even think they had heard some of it before. The same thing with music from the ‘30s to someone in the ‘10s or music from now to someone in the ‘30s. That person might conceivably think they were even listening to music from a previous decade. Pop culture had referenced itself so many times over, it was now just a copy of a copy of a copy. Degrading every time.
Dee looked down at the article's credit, Dennis Bagley, Editorial AI Operator. He knew it, AI. No wonder it read so familiar. He looked up at the various awards on his top shelf. Dee knew he was different. Better. His AI operating skills were the thing of accolades. The thing of applause. Just last week he and his AI processor picked up Gold in Effectology for their Just Poo It campaign for Charmin. And Silver in Originology for their The Ketchup In The Rye commercial for Pepsi-Heinz, about a young guy who gets kicked out of school and stays out all night trying to find a bottle of ketchup. He looked down at his processor and beamed. Its glowing red light beamed back at him.
They didn’t just stumble into that kind of effectiveness. Campaigns didn’t even get greenlit unless they scored ninety or above on the Effectology meter. He and his AI were usually hitting ninety twos or ninety threes, even a ninety five for Here’s To The Lazy Ones for Caspar mattresses. That campaign killed.
But Dee held himself to that higher calling, Originology. The metrics of original ideas. Sure, the AI did most of the work but Dee was able to tweak his processor to go way beyond the requisite twenty five percent Originology score. Together they were nailing figures in the forties, sometimes even peaking into the fifties. Scores that were head and shoulders above the rest of the department.
That’s how he could afford the sweet ‘18 Jordans Reissues on his feet. He curled his luxe Loewe headphone cable through his fingers and wrapped it around his neck like a scarf. He scoffed at a time when people didn’t think they needed a headphone cable. And imagined having nothing to twirl while listening to reinterpreted rock, nothing to wind around his fingers while he fed the processor. How many headphones must have been lost forever, just because they weren’t plugged in? Like everything else in pop culture, what went around came around, and, relatively recently, headphone cables had come back hard as the status symbol. Today, you didn’t just have to have a cable to be considered cool, you had to have the cable. It had to be thick as a rope, plated with rare metals, and covered in a fancy leather sheath from a chic brand like Gucci or Loewe.
Dee beamed as he thought of all the cool historical cultural knowledge he had amassed. Not just advertising history like the dweebs in the cubicles around him, but film history, fashion history, art history, music history. If it happened in culture, he knew about it. And he used it. That’s how he scored so high on the Originology meter. It made him feel almost like a real writer. Though he would never say that out loud. He imagined being like the old timers, upstairs. The un.ai.ded human writers, that clients would pay a serious premium for. Then he wouldn’t have to work on ketchup and toilet roll. He could have a crack at the big dogs, like Googlesoft, United American Airlines or DoritosLocosTacoBell. For now though, he’d have to stick with clients more becoming of his position. This morning’s task was to create a campaign for Pepsi-Crest. A toothpaste. Not super interesting. But he knew how to spice it up. Instead of letting his AI go back through decades of toothpaste ads just to pump out tired old crap like the It Cleans Your Face While it Cleans Your Teeth campaign that Mike Bey pitched last week, Dee mixed in a little fast food inspo from one of his favorite eras and found himself at the highly original and equally effective Where’s the Teeth? campaign. He was stunned by his own brilliance. He patted his processor and imagined it congratulating him back, then he programmed it to write an epic fifteen second anthem film and a suite of six second pre-roll spots, then sent it off to the CG department to render in time to air that night. Dee’s colleagues often asked him how he and his processor were so good at what they did. How their campaigns always scored so highly in both Effectology and Originology. They all used the same machine learning. It’s what the agency sold itself on. Never wanting to sound aloof; even though he was, or like he was tooting his own horn; even though he often did, he would merely say, “I like to pepper a bit of non advertising data in there. A little hint of me.” It was enough to provoke gasps and even make his colleagues take a step back or two, they had all been programmed to do just one task, feed the machine with advertising data. They couldn’t fathom diverging. “The AI should be enough,” was the general understanding. “The machine has better knowledge of advertising history than we do,” and “knows the ins and outs of Effectology better than we ever could.” It’s even been “scientifically programmed to exceed all expectation of Originology.” Dee couldn’t be swayed by any of the standard reactions. He would just smile, and casually amble off. Knowing full well he was beating the machine. He was a rebel in his own right. That afternoon, his section boss leaned over his cubicle. “Hullo Tara.” “Keep it formal please, colleague,” she scolded, “call me Antino. What do you look so ruddy chuffed about anyway?” “I just came up with a brilliant campaign for a very dull toothpaste. You’ll see it on The Comedy Central Reruns Channel tonight.” “Yes, well, an upstairs project is running behind and they’re calling on us down here to pull together some inspo decks, help jostle something loose in those tired old brains.” “Wouldn’t that make them not human-made? What are their clients paying all that money for?” “Loopholes, colleague, loopholes. As long as one of them humans writes the final line, it doesn’t matter how much AI they used to get there. “ “I could do that. I could do better than that. Did I tell you about my toothpaste campaign?” “Yes you did. Twice now. Must be good.” “It is.” “Well, here’s your chance for a peek into the real writer life. I’m deprioritizing your regular workload and prioritizing this inspo creation.” “Yeahhh!” Dee punched the air and freeze framed like he saw in an old movie. “The brief is for Fiat Maserati Jeep Dodge RAM. It’s a car. The Fiat Maserati Jeep Dodge RAM Unica. Like a fancy off-roader, you know what I mean? They wanna sell it to people in cities who don’t drive. More of a status symbol, you know what I mean? Like park it in front of your house so people will know you could go off-roading if you wanted to. Audience archetype is Moms. You getting this?” Dee finally broke his freeze frame but his mind was already whirring. “Yeah, I got it.” “Alright then. Bon chance.” Dee jumped into action, flipped up his AI processor’s screen and started cross referencing old Land Rover ads with The Rock movies, some Nora Ephron classics, Michelle Rodriguez’s character from all twenty eight Fast & Furious movies; even the fully CGI’d ones, the scene from Mrs Doubtfire when she’s playing the broomstick like a guitar, some Bikini Kill records, a memory of his own Mom making him wait in the car while she went shopping at Bergdorfs, a bunch of cool off-roading stuff from Top Gear and a painting of a car he’d always loved by Robert Bechtle. The machine spat out fifteen possible campaign inspo starters and Dee ran-walked them to the inspo courier in the office atrium. Before the day ended, a synthetic orchestra sounded through the building, \Pah pahhh, pah pa pah pa pah pahhh** and the employees were called into the atrium. Office meeting. As Dee strolled in, he caught the rare sight of the last few human copywriters lined up around the balcony above them. They applauded the downstairs employees, theatrically, motioning with their claps as they walked in and took seats, stood awkwardly or otherwise congregated.
There was a dramatic hush before one of the last true human copywriters finally spoke. “Great inspo. Thanks.” Wow. Each word, each letter, worth its weight in gold. That's probably why they used so few, thought Dee. “Yeah, really really good stuff.” Said another. “AI did this?” Said a third as she held the sheets of inspo out. “Some of the best inspo I’ve ever seen in all of my career.” Coughed the oldest and most regal sounding.
Dee squinted and peered up at them. Was that his inspo deck they were flashing around? Was this whole elaborate ceremony all to celebrate his AI operating? He didn’t know whether to be chuffed or anxious. Did they know he was cheating the system? Did they care? These are some of the last true human copywriters in history. They have, and are encouraged to have, the unique thought. Their work isn’t judged on how similar-without-being-exactly-the-same it is to existing campaigns. It’s judged on how different, how breakthrough, how stand out it is.
“It was me!” Dee blurted out. Quite uncharacteristically. He was usually so cool with the compliments. So coy with the recognition. His whole angle required it.
The other AI operators standing around him took their requisite step back, though this time it was less in awe, more in disgust. The air in the room stiffened. AI had ruled his department, and most of the industry, for so long that people didn’t speak up anymore. They just quietly fed the machine. And the machine took all the glory. Dee felt instant ostracism from the colleagues he had worked alongside for most of his career. He immediately questioned his outburst and retracted his ownership claim, knowing that his inspo deck would have been one of many.
“Some of it, at least. My AI, I mean. Processor.” He said. Sheepish this time. Back in his place.
The last few human copywriters smiled, nodded, bowed, gave final congratulations to all from high up on their balcony and then shuffled away in single file. All but one, Sir Coughing-Most-Regal. He slowly made his way down the grand staircase, into the atrium. A man leaving behind his usual pomp and circumstance, bringing his rare ability of unique thought into a crowd of imitation suppliers. As he reached the bottom step, he lost all of his royal air and seemed suddenly so vulnerable, walking among the regular folk. Most of Dee’s colleagues had already left, gone back to their metal masters, but Dee stayed. He knew this old man was coming to see him. He thought he might be in for a dressing down but he hoped it would be the opposite. He manifested that this titan of singular thought, the rare, unique idea, was coming to congratulate him.
“Freedkin.” The old man shoved out his hand. “Pleasure.” Dee shook it. “You say you programmed this inspo deck, yes?” He flapped the pages around. “Yes.” “Ruddy good work, let me tell you.” “Thank you.” “In all my years, since this artificial thinking thing came in, I’ve never read anything so good. Inspired me all over. I’ve been positively bursting with ideas since.” “Thank… you.” “AI wrote this you say?” “Yes.” “Ruddy good for AI. Never read anything so ruddy good. And you processed it?” “Yes.” “What’s your name son?” “Dee.” “Dee what?” “Palmer.” “Pleasure to meet you, Palmer. How much did you… influence it, the AI?” “How do you mean, sir?” “Call me Freedkin.” “How do you mean, Freedkin?” “I mean… how much of it is yours and how much is the machine’s?” Dee didn’t answer. He was looking for the angle. This old man surely didn’t value what AI does. He’s one of the last bastions of actual human creation. What was he getting at? Freedkin reoriented his question. “Mostly the machine or mostly you?” Dee thought he might have a kindred spirit here, in front of him, for the first time. He was going to take a risk. Recognizing a willingness to open up, Freedkin leaned in and spoke quietly. “Did you write this inspo or did the machine?” “I wrote it.” Dee postured. “All.” “Thought so. Good job. Our secret.” Freedkin winked. “Jolly good.” The next day, as he fed his AI little snippets of unexpected data, Dee noticed a hush come over his floor. The usual keyboard click, clack and grumble of inter-colleague banter were dead silent. All that was left was the processors’ harmonic hum. He lifted himself from his expensive ergonomic office chair and peered over his cubicle wall, spying across the sea of operators that made up the AI.ded Creativity department. A hunched figure at the opposite end of the bullpen sauntered from operator to operator, swilling a cup of coffee, looking in at each workstation. Giving a “hello” here, a nod there, even the odd salute. It was Freedkin. A real writer. Down here with the machine feeders. The other operators seemed afraid to go near him. Worried they might infect him with their inability. Dee had never seen a real writer in the operators’ bullpen. Freedkin, already old by industry standards, looked positively ancient in these surroundings. A sepia photograph in a technicolor world. Dee watched him, wondering if he should call out. He felt bound by social etiquette to not foist another outburst onto his peers. So he just watched, for a number of minutes, until Freedkin was close enough that his old eyes could make out Dee’s visage.
“Palmer!” Bingo. The two sat in Dee’s cubicle. Freedkin in the expensive office chair, as was fitting, and Dee on the wooden footstool. “For a short time we all worked from home. At the start of my career. For a short time.” “Everyone?” “Most. Not everyone, I suppose. But it was the thing to do. Was deemed more productive. Until it wasn’t. Then when this thing became the norm,” he tapped on Dee’s tiny AI processor, its red light glowed, “there was a sort of an office renaissance. I remember the bigwigs back then didn’t really want us using AI for ideas. Like it was giving in to the machine. We slowly got called back to the agency so they could keep an eye on our output. Keep it human, I suppose. That’s when the separation happened. In the end, the agency had to start using artificial thinking to keep up with demand. What are you lot churning out these days? Three campaigns a day? Four? We used to get a whole week to come up with one idea. After a while, of course, it got squeezed down to a couple of days. To the point where we needed the machine to keep up. Not long after, the bigwigs realized they could actually charge more off of the ‘human’ written stuff. Anyway, enough of the history lesson, what.” “It’s very interesting.” “Yes well, what I really came down here for,” Freedkin paused and looked around, “was some of that… good… inspo.” “I hear ya.” Dee poised his fingers over his keyboard and looked into the air like he was about to write something un.ai.ded, cocksure in his posture. “What’s this one about then?” “Watches. For Googlesoft. ‘Time,’ I was thinking, means so much, yet so little. Where does it all go? You know? How do we make more of it? Watches are time machines. See?” Dee’s posture sank. He thought of all that, by himself? No machine? He suddenly felt very ineffective. Unoriginal. He saw only the red glow from his little AI processor, staring back at him. Taking all the credit. He imagined it laughing with his colleagues in a bar while he sat at the other end of the table, ignored. He imagined it accepting awards by itself. He felt weak. He felt useless without it. It just glowed. “It kind of flows better… when I’m alone.” Dee nervously mumbled. “Right. Don’t say another word. Right you are. ‘Time.’ Remember. Where does it all go? Ok, I go. Ta-ta for now.
Dee looked down at his processor, apologetically. He quietly admonished himself before it until he felt forgiven. Then he typed in a weak initial prompt, all he could muster, write an advertising campaign about time.
The AI spat back a perfectly crafted campaign idea, line and film execution almost faster than Dee hit enter. The Best Things Come To Bros Who Wait. Dee immediately recognized it as a Guinness Surfers imitation. Tick followed tock followed tick followed tock. Its Effectology score clocked in well into the nineties. But its Originology score barely scraped by, just making it into ‘passable.’ Dee silently sneered at his surrounding coworkers. Any one of them would submit this as is and call it a day. It’d be rendered in minutes, deals made with celebrities’ CG likenesses under the hour, a revered AI voiceover and stunning synthetic music that would leave audiences lining up for these passively useful timepieces. But that wasn’t enough for Dee. That’s why he was who he was, goddamnit. Why Freedkin came to him. Him! Not Buton or Deytoro or Heckering. Him!
He added more detail to his prompt. Meaning of time. How to get time back. Time Machine. Back in time. Michael J Fox. Einstein (dog). Time Bandits. Timecop. Van Damme. Kyle Reece. Time displacement. Uhhh huhhh this felt good again. This was working. Dee and his processor were back in sync. As though they were one. Of course, as far as Freedkin knew, they were one. As Dee typed away, he imagined him and his AI coming together. Two heads. Better than one. He lost himself in his prompting and pictured his processor sitting on his shoulder, a second head, right there, next to his own. A tiny, metal appendage. Sleek, gray, with its glowing red light. And, for some reason, it was growing a little mustache. Dee and the mustached machine were completely lost in their work over the next few days. They hardly wrote any of their own campaigns. It was all inspo, inspo, inspo for Freedkin. The good stuff though, Viking Space Cruises, 1900 Tequila, Acne Studios. Each time, Dee and his processor were pretty much writing the entire thing. Freedkin hardly needed to change them at all. Just put his old world tone all over it. Add all of his extra words and ‘personality.’ Dee’s two heads were coming up with the best campaigns in the agency. And no one knew it. Except Freedkin. By now, his second head felt almost as big as his first. He could see it in his periphery. When he looked to the left, it looked back at him. It smiled sometimes. And that little freaking mustache was starting to freak Dee out. That night, Freedkin invited Dee for a couple of drinks with the other real human writers at the fanciest DoritosLocosTacoBell on the Westside. They didn’t even have to wait in line. Dee marveled at the size of the place, the expansiveness. It was packed. They were led through by the greeter to a private table at the back with a leather rope around it. He sat on the edge of the booth as the others ordered various flavors of Gatorade-aritas. When it got to Dee, he said he would have the same as Freedkin, which turned out to be a Frost Glacier Cherry-arita, the classiest -arita of all.
The writers’ conversation was mesmerizing. Every word that came out of their mouths was a unique thought. An opinion. A point of view. Dee tried to join in by recounting the narrative of various movies he had seen. The more obscure the better, attempting to interact at their level. While telling the story of Mick Jackson’s Threads to Bigelo, he could feel her searching for a point of view or an opinion in what he was saying, but he couldn’t stir one. If only he had his processor right now. Its red light glowed comfortingly in his mind. He missed it. Slowly, the other writers left. Dee couldn’t help but think he had something to do with it. He was feeling so inadequate by the time everyone but Freedkin had gone that he just sat quietly and half-smiled at him. Both of them were five or six Gatorade-aritas deep, slumped in their private booth. “Do you like what you do?” Asked Freedkin. “I love it.” “Do you really?” “I don’t know.” “I hate what I do. But I’m good at it. Do you want to know the secret, Palmer? The secret to what we do?” Dee couldn’t do anything but smile a little bigger to communicate his response. Freedkin paused for dramatic effect. “If you love advertising, you shouldn’t work in advertising.” Did Dee love advertising? He didn’t even know. He knew he knew advertising. “You think your audience loves advertising? You think they want to see your tribute to that Googlesoft spot that was an imitation of an Apple spot that was inspired by a Brett Morgen film? No! They just want to see the Brett Morgen film! They don’t want to see your thing at all!” Dee slumped further down. “But if you’re lucky,” Freedkin continued, “if you’re really lucky, and you show them something they’ve never seen before, because you hate advertising too and you just wanted to make something that made you feel something, if they feel that same feeling, you’ve got gold. But you can only get to gold by summoning all of your experiences outside of advertising. You can’t just try to make the Nike of pimple commercials. You have to make the Palmer of pimple commercials. Do you see? That’s the problem with your AI. Your machine.”
The red light flashed again in Dee’s mind. Awakened by Freedkin’s heresy.
“The best AI will ever do is just show you a better version of something you’ve seen before. They call that effective? The numbers can say whatever they want them to, all they’re really doing is pasting wallpaper on top of wallpaper on top of wallpaper. Until eventually the audience ignores it completely. But you’re different Palmer. You and I are different. Different is what sells. I had a word with Simmons up on six. She’s agreed to give you a trial period on the human floor. At my behest. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her you were already thinking for yourself. I just told her you had the potential to. You start tomorrow. Trial period. Tonight was about the other humans meeting you. I can’t tell you that they’re not skeptical. But they’re open to it. For me. What do you think?” Dee was nervous. He got off the elevator at the operators’ bullpen without even thinking about it. He walked all the way to the atrium and up the grand staircase to the human writers’ floor, instead of getting back on the elevator. He took each step steadily, taking it all in. He felt like a tourist. Like he was borrowing an identity. He imagined he was a young Freedkin and tried to put a confident stride in his step. It didn’t work. He put his hand in his pocket and felt for his AI processor. His second head. Mustached. He couldn’t turn it on because, as everyone knew, AI wasn’t allowed upstairs, in case the agency got audited. The cost consultants would be all over a human writing department that used artificial ideation. They’d be shut down. At the very least, they would lose their Un.AI.ded AI.dvertising license. The only reason for charging such a premium. Dee ran his hand along the balcony rail. He’d only ever seen it from downstairs, from the non-human thinkers’ floor. He walked from the balcony to the human writer’s work area. It was the exact opposite of what he was used to. No sea of cubicles. No click clack. No mechanized productivity. No hum. Just couches, writing desks and quiet.
“Morning.” Whistled Freedkin. “How are we?” “We?” “You.” “Wish I hadn’t drunk so much.” “Ohh, I know. Think of it as an initiation. Nothing wrong with it. Takes your mind off the job. Stops you from thinking for a minute. You need that after everything you’ve been pumping out. All that gold, that is.” “Right.” “Right. Well. Set yourself up wherever you like. First brief is for Coca-Cola. A new water! The freshest water they’ve ever sold, so they say. Tap Clear” Dee wandered over to a small writing desk and put his touchscreen down. He unraveled his headphone cable and felt for his processor in his pocket. When he found it, he rubbed it like a lamp, wishing for a genie. A couple of human writers who’d been deep in concentration when he first walked in, had been disturbed by his arrival. He didn’t recognize them from last night. They glared at him as he set himself up. He smiled in their general direction. They continued to glare. “Big Jim.” Whispered Freedkin. “Him and his team have been here three days straight, on a pitch. Don’t worry about them. They’re just under tremendous stress. This human work really takes it out of you, you know? ” Dee turned and sat with his back to them. He powered up his touchscreen and put his headphones on, draping his Loewe headphone cable around his neck and shoulders. He hovered his fingers over his keyboard, expecting ideas to come. Nothing. He skimmed the brief. Still nothing. He read the brief. Not a thing. A few of the other writers strolled in. Dee watched them find a workspace, sit down, start writing. One of them even used a pen! Dee loved this whole lifestyle. Turn up for work whenever, spout genius, have lunch, sell some billion dollar ideas, have a cocktail. The thought of it all spurred him on. He hovered his fingers over his keyboard again and braced himself for the idea flow. Nothing came. Nothing. All morning. His mind was blank. It felt like it was getting blanker. He couldn’t believe it. Even half thoughts were swimming away from him. Impossible to catch. Even just individual words. Gone. By the afternoon Dee was starting to freak out. He felt like an imposter. “Freedkin,” he hissed, “I can’t think. I can’t come up with anything.” “It takes time, my boy. Days. I told you, before we used to even have weeks…” “But my brain’s not working at all. It won’t… generate… anything.” “Relax your brain. Relax yourself.” “But Freedkin… Freedkin,” he hissed again, “I didn’t write any of that stuff. It was AI. All of it. No… I mean… I helped… but it wasn’t all me.” “Ok… hold on… boy… be careful. That kind of talk will get you killed around here. Try and make it to the end of the day. Try just writing some things down. Some thoughts. Some words. And if you still feel the same tomorrow, I’ll let the brass know it wasn’t for you. No harm.” Dee’s eyes hardened. “Do you hear me, Palmer?” Dee rubbed his temples. “Listen, this affects both of us. Yes, you, but also me… for recommending you. I’ll be out… Think!” Freedkin distanced himself. Hoping it would quell the panic. Dee stared at nothing for as long as he could. An hour, at most. Just stared. No thoughts came. No words. A blank screen. So he slipped his hand in his pocket, held his AI processor warmly, and turned it on. Instantly, an alarm sounded. “What's going on here, Freedkin?” Skewered Big Jim. “Is this your kid? What’s the big idea? Is he working for the machines? What is he…trying to infiltrate us? I can’t have this. I’ve got a family. I can’t be out of a job.” “It’s just a misunderstanding, Jim. He’ll be leaving now.” “No he won’t. Get back here, kid.” Big Jim grabbed at Dee’s shirt. Dee squirmed and tried to push him away. Big Jim got a hand on his neck instead, as some of the other writers tried to grab his arms. Dee instinctively swung his fists around. He got one of the writers, Bigelo, square in the eye. She roared “He’s blinded me!” Big Jim picked him up by his neck. Dee choked. He grabbed his touchscreen and swung it. The edge caught Big Jim on the side of the head. Big Jim dropped him and screamed. Freedkin put a hand on Big Jim’s shoulder. Big Jim swung his fist around and slammed it into Freedkin’s nose. Dee tried to slip away but Big Jim, raging, grabbed his headphone cable and dragged him back, winding the cable around his neck to try and hold on to him with it. The other writers stepped back as Dee kicked around in a panic. He got one of the writers in the stomach and another in the back. The headphone cable slipped out of Big Jim’s hands. Dee reached out for anything he could grab onto. He found a desk leg and pulled himself away from the melee as the gang of writers got him by his feet. They pulled off his Jordans and he crawled away as fast as he could, out of the writers’ area and onto the balcony. The writers caught up with him. He swung the few punches he could muster. He cracked one writer on the cheekbone as another reached for his headphone cable, wrapping it around the balcony rail to stop him from getting even further away. Big Jim steamed in, bleeding from his head, and slammed into Dee, launching him into the air with his sheer force. Dee reached for the rail but it slipped under him as he toppled over into the open atrium, between the floors. He felt a snap as the headphone cable went taut around his neck. A colleague standing in the atrium shrieked. Dee kicked his legs and wriggled about, trying to slip out. He clawed his hands around the cable and tried to loosen it but it just got tighter and tighter. He looked up to see the human writers peering down. Not helping. He could feel his consciousness slipping away. He looked to his left to see his second head staring straight back at him. As he hung, he could feel the metal head growing, exponentially, until it popped off, hit the ground and shattered. Shiny gray liquid metal spilled all over the floor and splashed up the walls. Its red light glowing all over as the metal spread around the room. Once it had flooded the entire atrium it enveloped Dee’s mind. And he was gone. The agency left his body hanging there for two days. They blamed it on a lack of janitorial availability. Everything in the office was automated, and cutting down a dead body wasn’t something their sanitation robots had been programmed to do. But, deep down, everyone knew that it was a message. That they should stay in the roles they had been assigned. So they did. So they wouldn’t end up like Dee.
2023.05.28 21:36 Arandomglitchtalefan Part four of ep 4 s2. (Other parts linked in replys)
Some hours later, the colony’s power was back on as everything had mostly been cleaned up. Everyone was still a little shaken, especially as heavily armed soldiers patrolled through the halls, however now Khan was holding a meeting in the multipurpose room. Uzi, Thad, N and V were in the audience as the MTF team stood to the side with Red. Clef and Shaw were standing on the stage next to Khan.
Khan went to the mic on top of a stage before he spoke. “Hello everyone, as you know things have been…. Well you know. Anyways because our lovely colony is currently being cleaned and patrolled by our…. Hold on.” Khan then pulled out a piece of paper and read it aloud. “Benevolent benefactors…. Huh.”
Jane looked towards Aron who was smiling. “Did you give him a script?” Jane said.
“Yep. Best decision I ever made.” Aron replied. Jane rolled her eyes.
“Hmmm…. Pass the mic to Clef…. OH right sorry.” Khan said as he looked at the paper and gave Clef the mic.
“So what me and the foundation have decided is that now you will all be sent on a nice campaign trip to one of the few woods that isn’t infested with 939 instances…. Mostly. Just keep out of the nearby caves and ignore the voices and you’ll be fine. Anyway we already have the jeeps set up, mostly because the bus you were using is actually an instance of scp 2086…. I personally don’t know how any of you are still alive. Damn thing killed twelve men.” Clef said as he handed the mic to Shaw.
“Howdy everybody!” Shaw started in an enthusiastic voice. He waited for the crowd to say something as everyone stayed silent. “Ok…. We’ll Clef told you what you're doing, however I wanted to add something! The brave MTF at Alpha 1 will be your councilors! Mostly because they're the only ones qualified to deal with the things in there but hey that’s not important! Anyway back to the point, your councilors will be alpha 1 like I said, however because we don’t have enough people volunteering, N and V have graciously decided to step up!”
“WHAT!” V said as she stood up. “I NEVER AGREED TO THIS!”
“You're right! You didn’t! I made the decision for you!” Shaw said.
“Ummm…. Mr Shaw, I also didn’t get news of this.” N said as he raised his hand.
“It’s ok! You don't even have to do anything! I already made your outfits!!!!” Shaw said enthusiastically as he held out two camp uniforms.
“He got them from a couple of skeletons by the way, so if you feel wet while in them just know it’s because said skeletons were inside a 939.” Clef said.
“THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!” Shaw yelled. “Just have fun! Now get on those buses people! Yaaaaaaa! This is gonna be so much fun for you, aren't you excited?!?”
“Not at all.” Uzi said.
“Same here, this whole camp thing seems a little too excessive.” Red replied.
“Did I mention there’s a reward for whoever keeps the most WD’s alive- I mean uhhh…. Happy?” Shaw said.
“What kind of reward are we talking about….” V said as she sat back down.
“Ahhh…. You know…. Stuff.” Shaw said with a smile.
“A ton of motor oil.” Clef said. “For humans a ton of cash.”
“OH COME ON! STOP SPOILING THE SURPRISE!” Shaw yelled.
“So wait…. Why motor oil?” Cole asked as he turned to Gram.
“Motor oil is, In simple terms, beer for MD’s and WD’s. Highly intoxicating.” Gram replied.
“Huh, no wonder V is suddenly all for this.” Aron said. “She probably drinks a lot of it I bet.”
“Hey! I heard that!” V said from the audience. “Just so you know I’ve only drank it once! It was pretty sweet…. Wait, that reminds me…. Where is that other drone…. Fennec?” V looked around.
“She’s in the truck, she called the one with N in it and refuses to leave it until he gets on for some reason. No one can get her out so we’re rolling with it.” Jane replied.
“H-Hey, can I speak?” Thad said.
“Yes you can. Do you have a question?” Shaw said.
“Uh ya. What's 939?” Thad said.
“Oh golly I was hoping you would say that!” Shaw said now practically beaming.
“Dammit what have you done?!?” Clef said, annoyed. “Now we're gonna be here for thirty minutes….”
A half hour later, and everyone had packed their things and we’re going into one of the trucks, it was the middle of the night, the trucks had open canopies above them. The trucks were also colored black with the foundation logo on their sides. They were driven by one of the MTF, or N and V. When N got into his truck Fennec was already in the passenger side.
“Hellllloooo!” Fennec said enthusiastically. “We’re going camping!!!!”
“Yes we are! I’m a little nervous. I've never camped before….” N said as he put his hands on the steering wheel. “Or maybe it’s because I’ve never driven anything before….”
Meanwhile Uzi got on her truck with Thad and a couple more WD’s. However Lizzy was also on board.
“Wait…. Aren’t you supposed to be in the prison sector?” Thad said as he looked at Lizzy.
“She was let out for good behavior, and proving that she wasn’t a threat.” Jane said over the integrated intercom as she was about to drive the truck.
“We’ll…. Don’t try anything. Got it.” Uzi said, trying to intimidate Lizzy.
“I know.” Lizzy said as she set her backpack beside her.
“So is everyone ready?” Jane said as she spoke over the intercom.
“Yea. We’re ready.” Uzi said with a sigh as she tried to get comfortable.
“Then off we go.” Jane replied.
Red was in her own truck with a bunch of WD’s, Aron and Cole were driving it. The trucks had already started on the road. Gram was also in the back doing something on his tablet.
“So…. Cards?” Red said as she pulled out a deck of cards.
“Yea!” One WD said.
“Ohh! Are we doing Uno or Go fish?” A female WD piped up.
“I'll call first!” Another said.
“Slow down guys, geez, anyway it's Uno, I have enough cards for everyone so let’s get started!” Red said as she started to pass out the cards to the delight of the WD’s.
As the trucks drove through the harsh night of copper 9. Snow blew all around the trucks as curious WD’s peaked and saw the many sights of the planet.
Uzi’s truck saw a group of 745’s as Jane had called them, they were watching the truck from a building. As the truck went past,
One WD said. “Wow! Why do their heads glow like that?”
“They glow because their heads are bioluminescent, on earth it was to mimic the headlights of a car before ramming a person off the road and most likely eating them. However there is some evidence they just hunt for sport.” Jane said over the intercom.
“Cool!” Another WD, said.
On N, V, and Fennec’s truck they were barely keeping steady as V was squished between N and Fennec.
“Just keep your eyes on the road and drive ok?” V said, sighing.
“I-I know! I think…. Hold on, I got this!” N said.
“I believe in you!” Fennec said.
As N drove, the truck ran over tons of small hills, it even went into the air a couple times. However all was good as they finally made it to the outskirts of the city and into a smoother road.
After a long time of driving, all the trucks finally made it to the woods. Uzi was sleeping on Thad’s shoulder as everyone else in her truck was also sound asleep. Until suddenly a gunshot awoke all of them. As Uzi grabbed her railgun and looked widely, the other WD’s ducked for cover. However Uzi heard laughter behind her, looking behind herself to see Jane wielding a smoking pistol.
“UGH BITE ME!” Uzi said in annoyance as she got off the truck, the other now wide awake WD’s did the same. “What? It was funny!” Jane said, still chuckling to herself.
Meanwhile the WD’s in N, V, and Fennec’s truck were already awake and shaken, they got off as quickly as possible as N had managed to drive into a tree. He got off holding his head as V got off and slapped him.
“KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!” V yelled.
“Hey! Don’t yell at him like that! He was trying his best!” Fennec replied to V.
“Ya, his best to kill us!” V said.
“Hmph! Let’s go N she obviously doesn’t want us here!” Fennec said as she forcefully grabbed N’s wrist, V followed them anyway as she rolled her eyes.
Meanwhile Red had gotten off her truck laughing and joking with a female WD named Rebecca.
“Oh man I can’t believe you beat me!” Red said as she looked at Rebecca.
“Yea, I’m pretty good at cards.” She replied. “Oh also, just so you know this is my boyfriend!” Rebecca then pulled a male WD with sunglasses closer to her. He waved at Red.
“Aww you are so cute together!” Red said.
“Thanks!” Darren replied as Rebecca smiled.
“Hey, before we go our separate ways, I just wanted to say that if you need to go outside the camp for some ‘alone time’ I’ll be happy to help.” Red said with a wink before she left with a smile.
After five minutes, all the WDs, Red, Jane, Aron, Cole, and Gram had gathered in front of the lodges waiting and wondering wherever the MDs had walked off to while the wind and snow blew around them and the snow slightly building up on everyone’s clothes as they stood there.
“So uhhh, do we just start or….” Aron said.
“No, we have to wait for them. Orders from Shaw, we have to make sure everyone is here.” Jane replied. Red was considering pulling out one of the sets of cards again when suddenly three figures slammed down onto the ground in front of everyone, wings out along with their blades extended. It was N, V and Fennec, they were wearing camping uniforms Shaw had given them. They turned around to look at everyone, the yellow MD >
“It was Fennec's idea.” V said.
“Welcome campers! Let’s sound off!” Said N as he looked up at everyone. “One, two….” N started as he counted the WD’s.
All the WD’s looked terrified. As none of them spoke. Suddenly V turned her right hand into a SMG and was about to shoot one of the WD’s, however before she could, Red tackled the WD down and out of the way of the bullet.
“WOAH WHAT THE FUCK!” Yelled Aron as he starred at V.
“…. What? I was just getting their attention.” V said as she looked around everyone.
“THAT'S how you get attention from people?!?” Red said as she stood up.
“…. Yes?….” V shrugged in confusion.
“Listen, I’m trying to get that prize alright? Just don’t go killing WD’s everywhere you look. Ok?” Red said.
“Jeez ok.” V said, rolling her eyes.
Every WD was stunned, however V just pointed her MP5SD at them again and without hesitation they all stood at full attention and said. “Present!”
“Ok! Great! That’s everyone! We have tons of activities planned! So don’t go sneaking off to investigate stuff!” N said as he slowly looked at Uzi a little.
“Also, you REALLY shouldn’t go out, trust me. The 939’s out here can and will eat you.” Aron said, stepping in front of the crowd. “As long as you don’t go out by yourself or listen to the voices at night you’ll be fine.”
“Wait, you didn’t clear them out?” Red said as she looked at Aron.
“We tried, lost an entire squad to one of them. So now we just decided to hand out rules…. It’s simple, just don’t go outside…. At all…. I’m serious, you will die a horrible drawn out death.” Aron said as he stared at all the WD’s.
All the WD’s stood still. However then Thad and Lizzie came from the crowd and stood with N, V and Fennec.
“See, if those two are going with them, you can trust them as well! Sorta. Actually never mind, that's a horrible idea.” Cole said.
After a long and drawn out ten minutes of getting everyone organized. Jane, Aron, Cole, Gram, N, and V had their groups, Fennec was never assigned one so she went with N’s group.
Meanwhile Uzi was going by herself, she had a backpack with her as she went off into the woods, as she walked the snowy paths, trees surrounding her with the night sky above her. Suddenly she looked to her right to see a pack of 745’s were starting to surround her, Uzi however simply waved her hand at them as the strange symbol that marked her powers surrounded her hand. Suddenly the 745’s became much more calm as they all left as Uzi went back to walking. Continuing to walk through the Forest each footstep leaving a mark in the snow and a crunch from each one as well as the noise of wind blowing snow through the trees. Then Uzi noticed something odd. A pair of red glowing eyes were staring at her from the darkness. As she looked back to confirm their existence they were gone. Uzi shivered and seemed to disregard the sighting as she went towards the cabin.
As Uzi walked, the campgrounds were doing surprisingly fine, each cabin held one of the councilors doing a ‘fun’ activity with their group of WD’s.
Inside one was Jane’s group. Jane held her sniper rifle and had set up a makeshift shooting range, Jane was seemingly demonstrating something by hitting every target with a perfect headshot. Each target was a paper cut out of a silhouette with a Anderson robotics logo on its head.
“Ok so, does anyone else want to try their hand?” Jane said as her rifle smoked.
“Every WD in her group stayed silent before one raised their hand, it was Darren.
“You can do this!” Rebecca said.
Darren smiled as he took the rifle from Jane. He steadied himself and fired, however instead of hitting a target like he hoped. He instead fired the rifle directly out of his hands into the air. Jane caught the rifle mid air and shook her head as every other WD laughed. Darren quietly went back embarrassed.
Cole’s group was also inside their cabin, however, instead of doing any activities. Cole just sat in a chair at the corner.
“So…. What do we do?” One WD said.
“Hell if I know. I'm a soldier not a counselor, you know what screw this i'm going on patrol. You just do whatever you want.” Cole said as he got up and walked out with his shotgun.
As soon as Cole left, his cabin went into anarchy as every WD got up and started doing, as Cole said, whatever.
In Grams cabin the WD’s were disgusted to see a dead 745 flop down onto a table in the middle of the room.
“Today, we will be dissecting this 745 instance. Freshly killed by Jane when we got here. I’ll pass out the scalpels soon enough, make sure to get its organs and lay them out beside the body. Work as a team.” Gram said.
The WD’s looked at the body with disgust.
“If I can get sick…. Then I’m getting sick….” One WD said.
In Aron’s cabin it was something out of a boot camp. WD’s held up wooden sticks as they marched around the cabin, Aron walked around them yelling orders.
“Come on! Pick up the pace, green eyes! When I’m finished with you, you’ll all be considered foundation recruits! Be glad I haven't set up the course, yet!” Aron said.
“Y-Yes sir!” The WD’s said in perfect unison.
In N, V and Fennec's cabin. Which Red was also a part of. Red was exhausted and annoyed.
“Please…. STOP TRYING TO KILL THEM!” Red yelled at V.
“It’s the only way they’ll learn.” V replied.
“LIKE HELL! Sometimes I wonder why I even snuck on the truck…. I’m not even supposed to be here….” Red said.
“Wait, you weren't?” Fennec said before stumbling. “Then why are you here anyway?”
“Maybe it’s because she wanted to have fun! Like us! Right guys!” N said as he looked at the WD’s hiding in the corner, their eyes trained on V in fear.
“No, it’s because I snuck on. I was supposed to help out with repairs but hey, screw that. Connor managed to get me on board the trucks without much trouble.” Red replied.
“Wait, Connor? I haven’t heard from him in a long time.” V said, suddenly interested.
“Ya actually what has he been doing?” N said.
“Nothing really, he’s been in the back of the ship working on a pet project of his. I have no idea what that is but he says it’s too important to really say anything about it.” Red replied, shrugging.
“Huh, neat!” N said.
Meanwhile Fennec was in the corner with the WD’s, the WD’s looked terrified of her. Fennec then reached into her shirt to pull something out, as the WD’s prepared for the worst, Fennec then pulled out a green lizard-like animal, it looked two meters long from head to tail. It also had a long, thin body with eight pairs of narrow limbs. It looked to have compound eyes. It didn’t seem to mind as Fennec got it out of her coat as she held it in her arms.
“Hey Fennec, wait…. What’s that!” V yelled in surprise as she turned towards Fennec.
“Oh, I found him a couple years ago! I like him so I keep in my coat and let him rest there. He doesn’t seem to mind.” Fennec said.
“Huh, it looks kind of cute!” N said as he got closer. The WD’s also did the same in curiosity.
“You know, with the things I’ve seen, this is pretty normal. Somehow.” Red said as she shrugged.
N got closer to the green lizard thing, it then liked his visor. N backed his head away a little in shock. However he then giggled and said. “I like this thing. Can I hold him?”
“Sure!” Fennec said. “Anything for you!”
N then took the lizard from Fennec and held it in his arms as it liked his visor again to N’s delight, even V was intrigued by it even if her face didn’t show it.
Uzi however was dealing with things no man could explain. She was inside an abandoned cabin deeper in the woods. As she looked around, it was seemingly empty. There were little robotic bugs running around, doing things such as running away every time Uzi walked over.
Uzi rolled her eyes as she used her abilities to raise a flashlight above her head and turn it on. As she looked around everything looked mostly the same. Suddenly a noise from deeper inside the cabin suddenly resonated. Uzi switched her light to where the noise came from, as she watched. She suddenly saw a glimpse of what looked like a hand going back inside a corner. Uzi suddenly got startled and her flashlight dropped. As she caught it she heard another noise that sounded like a scream from outside. Uzi slowly went to the window and looked out of it.
However, it was just everyone else on the frozen lake, even though it was frozen Uzi could still see everyone one the ice messing around, some of the groups even had boats on the ice.
“This is…. Very underwhelming….” Red said as she was in a boat on the ice with N.
“We'll have to do something! Plus this is very cool!” N said as he went to the front of the boat and stood on it.
“And this is very cool!!” Fennec said as she sat on the back of the boat, the lizard keeping the WD’s happy as they played with it.
On N’s boat there were some more WD’s who were seemingly having fun, rowing the boat along the ice with oar’s. V’s boat also came up to N’s, her boat had a different strategy of doing things. V’s boat had her WD group holding it up. V along with Lizzie was on the top of it.
“Sabotage my minions! Plan X!” V yelled as one of the WD’s below her boat kicked N’s boat off course.
“As the WD’s in N’s boat started to rock. Rebecca suddenly said. “I-I can’t swim!” As she was about to fall onto the ice.
“…. It’s ice.” Red said as she looked at Rebecca. “You can’t swim on ice….” Red sounded a mix of disappointed and confused.
“Oh…. Right.” Rebecca said as she stedied herself on the boat. A little embarrassed.
“I should have never gone on this trip….” Red said to herself as she sighed.
Meanwhile V’s boat was starting to get ahead, however Red simply rolled her eyes and threw a coin she had in her pocket in front of V's boat. The WD holding it up in the front saw the coin and immediately went to pick it up.
“Ohhhh shiny!” He said as he bent down. However then the entire boat lost balance and fell.
V immediately used her wings to float above the crash as she rolled her eyes and looked at Red. Red had a smug expression on her face.
Then suddenly from the right came Aron’s boat, it was painted fully black with a white foundation insignia on its sides. The WD’s now wore wooden helmets, also painted black with the foundation insignia on them.
“I love working for the council!” Aron yelled from the front of the boat as the WD’s rowed with expert precision.
“I love working for the council!” The WD’s yelled back, also in perfect precision.
“Lets me know just who I am!” Aron said again.
“Let’s me know just who I am!” The WD’s said, repeating after Aron.
As Aron’s group passed N, and V’s groups they could only watch as they rowed their boat with military accuracy.
“Did you train them to be soldier’s or something?” V asked Aron as she flew closer.
“Your goddamn right! I’ve trained these WD’s to be soldier’s! When I get back I’ll be leading the first team of WD soldier’s the foundation has ever seen! Now repeat after me maggots!” Aron yelled back to his WD’s as he started the song over again.
All of a sudden, from behind Aron came a noise of what sounded like a car. As Aron turned around to the WD’s he saw Grams boat, it was not really a boat anymore.
Grams boat was now fully fitted with tires and all of the like. It was fully made and fully operational. It was more car than boat.
“Hello Aron.” Gram said as his car-boat passed Aron’s astonished group. N, Fennec and even V watched in awe as Grams' boat practically started to zoom around them in circles.
“H-How?!?” V said.
“Simple, intelligence.” Gram replied.
“Wait…. Where’s Cole?” N said as he looked around.
“Back at the bank of the river. They're still setting up.” Lizzy said with a chuckle as she pointed all the way to the bank, where Cole was trying his best to make his boat.
“It turns out anarchy isn’t a way to run something like that.” Lizzy said.
Meanwhile Uzi watched from the cabin window. Suddenly her face had the symbol of her powers for a split second on her right eye. The window shattered, Uzi immediately backed away, her visor showing a caution sign as she did so.
Uzi’s caution sign then had the words, ‘high heat’ on it as Uzi put down her backpack and looked inside. Inside it was a WD arm, as Uzi looked at the arm she was hyperventilating
Then all of a sudden an all too familiar voice came from behind Uzi.
“Uzi doorman, such a surprise seeing you here.” It said from behind her.
“W-Who-“ Uzi started as she turned around, however was shocked to see not N, V or anyone else. She saw Klen standing behind her, his hands in his coat as his eyes glowed a sickly red.
“Y-You!” Uzi said as she held out her hand with the symbol on it to fight Klen. However Klen just shook his head.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, heretic.” Klen said as he looked behind Uzi.
Uzi looked behind her to see what looked like a horde of fleshy abominations, they looked like they were once human, they all looked at Uzi. They made horrific noises as their flesh had seemingly been torn off. There was no sign of any kind of skin on any of their bodies.
“What do you want?” Uzi said as she looked back to Klen with some hints of fear.
“No no. It’s what you want my dear Uzi. For I have these that may interest you.” Klen then put his hand to its palm as he held it out, suddenly some tentacles came from the ground making a sizable hole, they rose holding up a WD corpse, the tentacles threw it aside as they went back down into the hole in the ground and pulled out three papers.
“This poor WD died alone, it’s a shame. I don’t even remember killing her. However she did write these. Read them, Uzi doorman.” Klen said as the tentacles passed the papers to Uzi.
The papers looked like drawings of a madman, however one of them was a paper from Anderson robotics. Uzi read it carefully and saw it was a notice of some kind. However there was another thing on it written in oil that said. ‘Lights from below’
Uzi turned it around to see a finger from something, perhaps a MD. Uzi took it off and studied it before Klen laughed.
“Enjoy your reading? heretic?” Klen said with a smile.
“Bite me!” Uzi said, looking at Klen with anger.
“Well that is no way to treat an old friend? Well I’ll have to punish you!” Klen said with a sneer.
Uzi started to prepare for the worst as she backed away from both Klen and his flesh creatures.
“Don't worry, I won’t do it myself, for that deed has already been taken. It will arrive shortly. Now Uzi, I hope to see your body in the snow, begging for mercy from yaldabaoth. However, you shall gain none!” Klen said with yet another sneer. Suddenly he and all his flesh creatures sunk into the ground, disappearing from view. As Uzi stared in disbelief at what just happened. She didn’t notice Doll behind her, watching her. Suddenly Doll disappeared before Uzi could even notice.
Then Uzi was suddenly knocked back by something plowing through the wall, knocking Uzi back into the front wall as she turned herself around to see what had happened.
In front of Uzi was a robot of some kind, it was bulky and had two Miniguns for its arms, its shoulders had what looked like small middle silos and it had large legs. As Uzi stared at this robot, it stared back at her with its head being a yellow light camera. Its head was mounted between its shoulder missile silos. Its shoulders had a strange logo Uzi had never seen before. They had the globe of earth colored a light blue on them with the words ‘Protection, Concealment, survival, education, destruction.’ In a circle around the blue globe.
“Absolute solver detected, calculating.” The robot said as it stared at Uzi. “Threat to sapient life if allowed to live. 70%. Course of action…. TERMINATION.” Its eye then glowed a menacing red.
“OH SH-“ Uzi was about to yell when suddenly the robot activated some kind of thrusters and charged at Uzi directly, Uzi reacted fast and activated her powers once again to make a shield with a large version of that symbol blocking in front of her.
However, that did almost nothing as the robot simply charged into the shield, knocking Uzi through the wall of the cabin. Uzi was knocked some ways away from the cabin as she got up from the snow, spitting some out and holding her head as she got up, she looked around and saw trees for miles and the cabin the distance, she must've been hit a mile away from it. Then she noticed the robot was already on its way surprisingly fast, in just a few short moments it was already in front of her.
Uzi immediately used her powers to try to directly target it. However when she tried her visor simply flashed a message. ‘Warning, cannot target.’
“Oh you have to be kidding me-“ Uzi said as suddenly the robot started to fire its miniguns at Uzi without any sense of remorse or emotion.
Uzi immediately used her powers to make a shield around herself as she fled behind a large boulder nearby. The robot started to slowly march to the other side of the boulder as it continued pelting it with its miniguns, slowly destroying Uzi’s cover.
As Uzi tried to think and started to panic, she looked around and saw a large tree nearby, Uzi had an idea. Uzi immediately used her powers to target the tree and with some effort managed to uproot it. As it floated Uzi was surprised even with herself, it was the largest thing she had lifted and she was doing it with ease like it was a metal pipe.
Uzi had no time to think as the robot finally got to the other side and started to fire on Uzi, however she thought quickly and threw the tree at the robot, it knocked it off balance and even somewhat dented it. However other than that it was unaffected.
Uzi immediately put her shield up just in time for the robot to start pelting her with bullets again as it walked closer to her. Suddenly it stopped to Uzi’s surprise. Instead its missile silos then fired what seemed like at least twenty small missiles at Uzi that looked like they were going around the shield.
Uzi immediately panicked and started to try to target the missiles with her other hand. Spikes came from the ground and pre-exploded almost every missile a safe distance away from Uzi, however a couple of them were going straight at Uzi, she was forced to tank them with her shield which immediately broke it and sent Uzi a few feet backwards. The robot wasted no time in firing again, as the bullets were about to hit Uzi she felt fear and panic for her life. Just then she started to fly in the air to dodge the bullets and started to fly away.
Uzi was surprised that she just did that, however she had no time to think as she looked behind herself and saw the robot also flying directly after her, worst of all it was aiming its miniguns and preparing to fire.
“DAMMIT, GO AWAY!” Uzi yelled as she uprooted multiple trees in the area and flung them at the robot, it was knocked down to the ground and, however that did little to stop it from going in the air again, however this time it must’ve put its thrusters to full because it flew faster than Uzi and charged directly into her like a charging bull.
As Uzi was flung out of the air even further away. She was knocked so far she made it to another building, this one was larger and made of actual concrete. It had a sign at the front that said ‘Visitor center’ but Uzi could care less at this moment.
As Uzi fled into the building landed outside and fired its missiles at Uzi to chase her within the building. As Uzi ran through the walls, making sure to knock things down behind her to stop the missiles. They kept coming expertly dodging whatever she threw at them. Then one of the missiles accidentally ran into a pillar as Uzi went around a corner fast into a large open area with a lot of support pillars. Its explosion took out the last few missiles as well as the tower. However it gave Uzi an idea as she looked at the building now shaking from it. Uzi started to smile.
As the robot came into a large open area with all the pillars, it looked around for Uzi and didn’t see her. It seemed confused as it looked again and scanned the area.
“Hey! You! I’m over here!” Uzi yelled as she came out from a pillar and waved her hands with a smirk. The robot didn’t hesitate as it fired its miniguns at her. Uzi however just ran back to the pillar and stayed behind it as the robot destroyed it with the hail of bullets. Then she moved into the next, and the next, and the next.
Uzi’s smile grew larger as more pillars started to fall and the building started to slowly crumble. Then she went behind one of the few pillar’s remaining as the robot fired at it, just as Uzi had hoped.
As the pillar was destroyed, it was the straw that broke the camel's back as all the other pillars started to collapse from the weight of the building practically falling on top of them.
Uzi immediately flew out of the building as fast as she could, the robot was about to follow when the building collapsed on top of it. Outside, Uzi barely made it. She looked behind herself, and after a few seconds of silence.
“HELL YA! I JUST DID THAT! THAT WAS ME!” Uzi yelled as she celebrated.
Just as Uzi was about to go back with a smile on her face. The robot started to slowly crawl from the rubble unnoticed, it was heavily damaged, wires were poking out as one of its arms was gone, it’s legs were missing and dents were all over its body.
“T-TTT-TT-TT-TTERMINATE.” It said as it glitched and sparked.
Uzi turned around just in time to see it just as it fired everything it had at Uzi, its minigun fired one last salvo as it fired whatever missiles it had left. Uzi could barely react In time as she set up her shield. However some bullets made it through and pierced her body, spilling oil on the snow as the missiles hit it and flung Uzi a few feet back as more bullets went into her. As Uzi laid on the ground now seemingly dead. The robot’s eye turned back to yellow.
“M-MM-MMMISSION CCCCCCC-CCCOMPLET. REEEETURRNING TO BASE.” It said as it started to crawl in a direction slowly.
However, Uzi's body started to change. She grew large black organic wings as she screamed in pure rage, the robot turned back confused. Standing over it was Uzi, but that was impossible, its calculations had said nothing could survive a salvo like that.
Uzi stared at the robot with uncaring eyes as her visor turned into a purple >< symbol. She immediately grabbed the robot's head and with strength she should’ve never had. She ripped it off, killing the robot instantly. She then flew back with her wings to the camp.
Meanwhile back at the camp everyone had finished the activities and were back in their cabins, surprising everyone had stayed alive. Mostly thanks to Red’s constant vigilance.
“I. Hate. You.” Red said exhausted as she looked at V.
V shrugged and said. “What? I was only doing what I know.”
“We’ll I had a great time!” Fennec said.
“Same here!” N said as he looked around.
“However I keep counting everyone and yet I don’t see Uzi…. Hmmm…. Wonder where she went?” N said as he looked around.
Meanwhile Rebbeca and Darren were going into the woods, Red had told them this path would lead them to a secluded place free of 939 or 745’s where they could make out peacefully.
“Wow, that Red girl sure knows her stuff.” Darren said as they made it to a small log house.
“I know right?!? She’s my new bestie hands down. Anyway, let's not waste anymore time.”
As they went inside it looked strange. There were some kind of black things on the walls and a flashlight on the ground. As Rebbeca went to pick it up. She suddenly felt a presence from above her. As she and Darren looked above themselves they saw what looked to be Uzi, however she had black organic wings and even a black organic tail that seemed to be alive as it had a face and jaws.
As Rebbeca and Darren starred in absolute horror at Uzi’s new form. Uzi was seemingly about to pounce and kill them, when suddenly a roar was heard from the opposite side of the room. Uzi, Darren and Rebbeca looked over and saw a creature, it looked quadrupedal and had a frog-like stance. It was blood red and had spikes running along its back, its snout was like an alligator and it seemed to have no eyes.
It looked at Uzi and roared again as it swiped in a show of force at Uzi. Uzi put her attention away from Darren and Rebbeca as they fled and instead towards this new foe. Uzi chuckled as it started to charge.
Meanwhile back at camp, N was recounting everyone, not only that but strangest of all was that now the MTF were gone as well.
“You're really bad at this….” V said.
“N-Now hold on! I…. Uhhh…. I can fix this!” N said, now panicking a bit.
Red rolled her eyes and said. “This is why I never should’ve come….”
Suddenly Darren and Rebbeca came running from over a nearby hill and through the trees, they were seemingly running from something.
“Hey guys? What’s wrong? Run into a 939?” Red said confused as she went up first to meet the exhausted pair.
“I-It’s Uzi! She’s gone feral!” Rebbeca said out of breath.
“Oh Uzi would never go feral! That’s crazy talk from a crazy girl!” Fennec said as she patted Rebbeca on the head.
“I-It’s true! She tried to eat us!” Darren replied.
“No slow done, I’m sure Uzi was just trying to scare you-“ N started before being cut off by a head of a 939 suddenly dropping from the sky right next to them as its blood sprayed everywhere.
Suddenly Uzi came flying down with blood on her lips as she crashed on the head, spilling its brains and gore everywhere.
“We’ll…. That’s new-“ Red said before suddenly being flung away by Uzi’s power’s.
N was also about to say something when he was suddenly flung away by Uzi.
Fennec was about to say something but as she saw Uzi her eyes widened into Ovals, and starting to shake and hyperventilate again as she fell onto her knees and then got magically tossed aside like the others.
V however was faster and charged directly. At Uzi, however, just as she was about to stab her. Uzi’s tail grabbed V and flung her deeper into the woods, Uzi flew after her. Uzi cut off V’s right arm and then used her powers to push her into a tree. V tried to shoot Uzi but Uzi just forced her hand up and the missile V shot missed horribly. Uzi then threw V to the ground and was about to stab her with her own syringe tail. When suddenly N came and grabbed Uzi by her coat along with Red who put her sword to Uzi’s neck, Fennec was also there helping V up.
“Woah, easy there.” N said, trying to calm down Uzi. However she just used her powers to hit Red with a nearby tree and stabbed N’s hand with V’s syringe.
“Ow, ok up we go!” N said as he tossed Uzi into the air above the very clouds.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!” Red yelled as she got back up.
“No idea, but we’re trying to fix it.” V said as she regenerated herself.
Fennec said nothing as she lay on the ground curling her arms into her knees still shaking, repeating to herself no over and over again. Almost like she had seen this before.
“Ya…. I’ll go talk to her. Be right back!” N said as he flew up as well.
“…. Where’s those MTF when you need them?” Red said, sitting down next to V.
“I know, it’s infuriating sometimes.” V said, agreeing with Red.
Meanwhile the MTF team watched from a watchtower as Jane pressed a button on her radio and spoke into it.
“It’s happening, send everybody in, heavy and medium vehicles recommend and out down reality anchors. We got her.” Jane said as they started to go down from their watchtower.
From just outside the woods a large force of MTF operatives, tanks, APC’s, helicopters, and even some jets overhead started to move into the woods with utmost haste.
After some time with Red and V successfully making a snowman, N and Uzi suddenly crashed back down and crushed the snowman.
“God Dammit!” Red said, annoyed.
“Oh come on! That took us a few seconds to set up!” V said also annoyed.
“MY SNOWMANNN NOOOOO!” Fennec said as she started to cry a bit.
N was now holding Uzi who had lost her wings and tail.
“Accent was a bad idea anyway….” Uzi said as N was still holding her.
“N…. I’m also sorry….” Uzi said to N.
“Ehhh, not like you killed anyone! Except that 939…. But does that really count as anyone?” N said, looking at Red.
“Maybe, I don’t know I’m not a foundation researcher, why are you looking at me?!?” Red said.
“Hey, is it safe to come out now?” Rebbeca said as she came out from behind a tree. A lot of other WD’s did the same, some were hiding in the snow while others were literally in the trees.
“Wow, that was…. AWESOME! I’d like to see that again with my besties.” Lizzy said as she came out.
“Hey guys! I have returned with a bunch of snacks! As it turns out I left them in the trucks!…. What did I miss?” Thad said as he came out of the woods holding a load of chips and drinks.
Suddenly lights flashed on Uzi, N, V and Fennec as helicopters circled above. MTF ran out of APC’s as they charged into the area, with their guns all pointed to Uzi, their flashlights nearly blinding. Some of them even set up strange machines that glowed red and pulsated with red light.
Jane and the other MTF also came out from the crowd of MTF now gathering around and focusing on Uzi.
“Uzi, N, V, Red, and F. by order of the 05 council. You are all being detained for having abilities that can and will harm the people and things around you. Surrender yourselves or we will be forced to fire!” Jane said.
Uzi, N, V, Red, and Fennec looked around at the force of MTF and vehicles around them, the sound of helicopters above them and jet fighters circling like vultures above them.
“BITE ME!!!” Uzi yelled as she stared at Jane in anger and betrayal.
submitted by Arandomglitchtalefan to MurderDrones [link] [comments]
Khan went to the mic on top of a stage before he spoke. “Hello everyone, as you know things have been…. Well you know. Anyways because our lovely colony is currently being cleaned and patrolled by our…. Hold on.” Khan then pulled out a piece of paper and read it aloud. “Benevolent benefactors…. Huh.”
Jane looked towards Aron who was smiling. “Did you give him a script?” Jane said.
“Yep. Best decision I ever made.” Aron replied. Jane rolled her eyes.
“Hmmm…. Pass the mic to Clef…. OH right sorry.” Khan said as he looked at the paper and gave Clef the mic.
“So what me and the foundation have decided is that now you will all be sent on a nice campaign trip to one of the few woods that isn’t infested with 939 instances…. Mostly. Just keep out of the nearby caves and ignore the voices and you’ll be fine. Anyway we already have the jeeps set up, mostly because the bus you were using is actually an instance of scp 2086…. I personally don’t know how any of you are still alive. Damn thing killed twelve men.” Clef said as he handed the mic to Shaw.
“Howdy everybody!” Shaw started in an enthusiastic voice. He waited for the crowd to say something as everyone stayed silent. “Ok…. We’ll Clef told you what you're doing, however I wanted to add something! The brave MTF at Alpha 1 will be your councilors! Mostly because they're the only ones qualified to deal with the things in there but hey that’s not important! Anyway back to the point, your councilors will be alpha 1 like I said, however because we don’t have enough people volunteering, N and V have graciously decided to step up!”
“WHAT!” V said as she stood up. “I NEVER AGREED TO THIS!”
“You're right! You didn’t! I made the decision for you!” Shaw said.
“Ummm…. Mr Shaw, I also didn’t get news of this.” N said as he raised his hand.
“It’s ok! You don't even have to do anything! I already made your outfits!!!!” Shaw said enthusiastically as he held out two camp uniforms.
“He got them from a couple of skeletons by the way, so if you feel wet while in them just know it’s because said skeletons were inside a 939.” Clef said.
“THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!” Shaw yelled. “Just have fun! Now get on those buses people! Yaaaaaaa! This is gonna be so much fun for you, aren't you excited?!?”
“Not at all.” Uzi said.
“Same here, this whole camp thing seems a little too excessive.” Red replied.
“Did I mention there’s a reward for whoever keeps the most WD’s alive- I mean uhhh…. Happy?” Shaw said.
“What kind of reward are we talking about….” V said as she sat back down.
“Ahhh…. You know…. Stuff.” Shaw said with a smile.
“A ton of motor oil.” Clef said. “For humans a ton of cash.”
“OH COME ON! STOP SPOILING THE SURPRISE!” Shaw yelled.
“So wait…. Why motor oil?” Cole asked as he turned to Gram.
“Motor oil is, In simple terms, beer for MD’s and WD’s. Highly intoxicating.” Gram replied.
“Huh, no wonder V is suddenly all for this.” Aron said. “She probably drinks a lot of it I bet.”
“Hey! I heard that!” V said from the audience. “Just so you know I’ve only drank it once! It was pretty sweet…. Wait, that reminds me…. Where is that other drone…. Fennec?” V looked around.
“She’s in the truck, she called the one with N in it and refuses to leave it until he gets on for some reason. No one can get her out so we’re rolling with it.” Jane replied.
“H-Hey, can I speak?” Thad said.
“Yes you can. Do you have a question?” Shaw said.
“Uh ya. What's 939?” Thad said.
“Oh golly I was hoping you would say that!” Shaw said now practically beaming.
“Dammit what have you done?!?” Clef said, annoyed. “Now we're gonna be here for thirty minutes….”
A half hour later, and everyone had packed their things and we’re going into one of the trucks, it was the middle of the night, the trucks had open canopies above them. The trucks were also colored black with the foundation logo on their sides. They were driven by one of the MTF, or N and V. When N got into his truck Fennec was already in the passenger side.
“Hellllloooo!” Fennec said enthusiastically. “We’re going camping!!!!”
“Yes we are! I’m a little nervous. I've never camped before….” N said as he put his hands on the steering wheel. “Or maybe it’s because I’ve never driven anything before….”
Meanwhile Uzi got on her truck with Thad and a couple more WD’s. However Lizzy was also on board.
“Wait…. Aren’t you supposed to be in the prison sector?” Thad said as he looked at Lizzy.
“She was let out for good behavior, and proving that she wasn’t a threat.” Jane said over the integrated intercom as she was about to drive the truck.
“We’ll…. Don’t try anything. Got it.” Uzi said, trying to intimidate Lizzy.
“I know.” Lizzy said as she set her backpack beside her.
“So is everyone ready?” Jane said as she spoke over the intercom.
“Yea. We’re ready.” Uzi said with a sigh as she tried to get comfortable.
“Then off we go.” Jane replied.
Red was in her own truck with a bunch of WD’s, Aron and Cole were driving it. The trucks had already started on the road. Gram was also in the back doing something on his tablet.
“So…. Cards?” Red said as she pulled out a deck of cards.
“Yea!” One WD said.
“Ohh! Are we doing Uno or Go fish?” A female WD piped up.
“I'll call first!” Another said.
“Slow down guys, geez, anyway it's Uno, I have enough cards for everyone so let’s get started!” Red said as she started to pass out the cards to the delight of the WD’s.
As the trucks drove through the harsh night of copper 9. Snow blew all around the trucks as curious WD’s peaked and saw the many sights of the planet.
Uzi’s truck saw a group of 745’s as Jane had called them, they were watching the truck from a building. As the truck went past,
One WD said. “Wow! Why do their heads glow like that?”
“They glow because their heads are bioluminescent, on earth it was to mimic the headlights of a car before ramming a person off the road and most likely eating them. However there is some evidence they just hunt for sport.” Jane said over the intercom.
“Cool!” Another WD, said.
On N, V, and Fennec’s truck they were barely keeping steady as V was squished between N and Fennec.
“Just keep your eyes on the road and drive ok?” V said, sighing.
“I-I know! I think…. Hold on, I got this!” N said.
“I believe in you!” Fennec said.
As N drove, the truck ran over tons of small hills, it even went into the air a couple times. However all was good as they finally made it to the outskirts of the city and into a smoother road.
After a long time of driving, all the trucks finally made it to the woods. Uzi was sleeping on Thad’s shoulder as everyone else in her truck was also sound asleep. Until suddenly a gunshot awoke all of them. As Uzi grabbed her railgun and looked widely, the other WD’s ducked for cover. However Uzi heard laughter behind her, looking behind herself to see Jane wielding a smoking pistol.
“UGH BITE ME!” Uzi said in annoyance as she got off the truck, the other now wide awake WD’s did the same. “What? It was funny!” Jane said, still chuckling to herself.
Meanwhile the WD’s in N, V, and Fennec’s truck were already awake and shaken, they got off as quickly as possible as N had managed to drive into a tree. He got off holding his head as V got off and slapped him.
“KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!” V yelled.
“Hey! Don’t yell at him like that! He was trying his best!” Fennec replied to V.
“Ya, his best to kill us!” V said.
“Hmph! Let’s go N she obviously doesn’t want us here!” Fennec said as she forcefully grabbed N’s wrist, V followed them anyway as she rolled her eyes.
Meanwhile Red had gotten off her truck laughing and joking with a female WD named Rebecca.
“Oh man I can’t believe you beat me!” Red said as she looked at Rebecca.
“Yea, I’m pretty good at cards.” She replied. “Oh also, just so you know this is my boyfriend!” Rebecca then pulled a male WD with sunglasses closer to her. He waved at Red.
“Aww you are so cute together!” Red said.
“Thanks!” Darren replied as Rebecca smiled.
“Hey, before we go our separate ways, I just wanted to say that if you need to go outside the camp for some ‘alone time’ I’ll be happy to help.” Red said with a wink before she left with a smile.
After five minutes, all the WDs, Red, Jane, Aron, Cole, and Gram had gathered in front of the lodges waiting and wondering wherever the MDs had walked off to while the wind and snow blew around them and the snow slightly building up on everyone’s clothes as they stood there.
“So uhhh, do we just start or….” Aron said.
“No, we have to wait for them. Orders from Shaw, we have to make sure everyone is here.” Jane replied. Red was considering pulling out one of the sets of cards again when suddenly three figures slammed down onto the ground in front of everyone, wings out along with their blades extended. It was N, V and Fennec, they were wearing camping uniforms Shaw had given them. They turned around to look at everyone, the yellow MD >
“It was Fennec's idea.” V said.
“Welcome campers! Let’s sound off!” Said N as he looked up at everyone. “One, two….” N started as he counted the WD’s.
All the WD’s looked terrified. As none of them spoke. Suddenly V turned her right hand into a SMG and was about to shoot one of the WD’s, however before she could, Red tackled the WD down and out of the way of the bullet.
“WOAH WHAT THE FUCK!” Yelled Aron as he starred at V.
“…. What? I was just getting their attention.” V said as she looked around everyone.
“THAT'S how you get attention from people?!?” Red said as she stood up.
“…. Yes?….” V shrugged in confusion.
“Listen, I’m trying to get that prize alright? Just don’t go killing WD’s everywhere you look. Ok?” Red said.
“Jeez ok.” V said, rolling her eyes.
Every WD was stunned, however V just pointed her MP5SD at them again and without hesitation they all stood at full attention and said. “Present!”
“Ok! Great! That’s everyone! We have tons of activities planned! So don’t go sneaking off to investigate stuff!” N said as he slowly looked at Uzi a little.
“Also, you REALLY shouldn’t go out, trust me. The 939’s out here can and will eat you.” Aron said, stepping in front of the crowd. “As long as you don’t go out by yourself or listen to the voices at night you’ll be fine.”
“Wait, you didn’t clear them out?” Red said as she looked at Aron.
“We tried, lost an entire squad to one of them. So now we just decided to hand out rules…. It’s simple, just don’t go outside…. At all…. I’m serious, you will die a horrible drawn out death.” Aron said as he stared at all the WD’s.
All the WD’s stood still. However then Thad and Lizzie came from the crowd and stood with N, V and Fennec.
“See, if those two are going with them, you can trust them as well! Sorta. Actually never mind, that's a horrible idea.” Cole said.
After a long and drawn out ten minutes of getting everyone organized. Jane, Aron, Cole, Gram, N, and V had their groups, Fennec was never assigned one so she went with N’s group.
Meanwhile Uzi was going by herself, she had a backpack with her as she went off into the woods, as she walked the snowy paths, trees surrounding her with the night sky above her. Suddenly she looked to her right to see a pack of 745’s were starting to surround her, Uzi however simply waved her hand at them as the strange symbol that marked her powers surrounded her hand. Suddenly the 745’s became much more calm as they all left as Uzi went back to walking. Continuing to walk through the Forest each footstep leaving a mark in the snow and a crunch from each one as well as the noise of wind blowing snow through the trees. Then Uzi noticed something odd. A pair of red glowing eyes were staring at her from the darkness. As she looked back to confirm their existence they were gone. Uzi shivered and seemed to disregard the sighting as she went towards the cabin.
As Uzi walked, the campgrounds were doing surprisingly fine, each cabin held one of the councilors doing a ‘fun’ activity with their group of WD’s.
Inside one was Jane’s group. Jane held her sniper rifle and had set up a makeshift shooting range, Jane was seemingly demonstrating something by hitting every target with a perfect headshot. Each target was a paper cut out of a silhouette with a Anderson robotics logo on its head.
“Ok so, does anyone else want to try their hand?” Jane said as her rifle smoked.
“Every WD in her group stayed silent before one raised their hand, it was Darren.
“You can do this!” Rebecca said.
Darren smiled as he took the rifle from Jane. He steadied himself and fired, however instead of hitting a target like he hoped. He instead fired the rifle directly out of his hands into the air. Jane caught the rifle mid air and shook her head as every other WD laughed. Darren quietly went back embarrassed.
Cole’s group was also inside their cabin, however, instead of doing any activities. Cole just sat in a chair at the corner.
“So…. What do we do?” One WD said.
“Hell if I know. I'm a soldier not a counselor, you know what screw this i'm going on patrol. You just do whatever you want.” Cole said as he got up and walked out with his shotgun.
As soon as Cole left, his cabin went into anarchy as every WD got up and started doing, as Cole said, whatever.
In Grams cabin the WD’s were disgusted to see a dead 745 flop down onto a table in the middle of the room.
“Today, we will be dissecting this 745 instance. Freshly killed by Jane when we got here. I’ll pass out the scalpels soon enough, make sure to get its organs and lay them out beside the body. Work as a team.” Gram said.
The WD’s looked at the body with disgust.
“If I can get sick…. Then I’m getting sick….” One WD said.
In Aron’s cabin it was something out of a boot camp. WD’s held up wooden sticks as they marched around the cabin, Aron walked around them yelling orders.
“Come on! Pick up the pace, green eyes! When I’m finished with you, you’ll all be considered foundation recruits! Be glad I haven't set up the course, yet!” Aron said.
“Y-Yes sir!” The WD’s said in perfect unison.
In N, V and Fennec's cabin. Which Red was also a part of. Red was exhausted and annoyed.
“Please…. STOP TRYING TO KILL THEM!” Red yelled at V.
“It’s the only way they’ll learn.” V replied.
“LIKE HELL! Sometimes I wonder why I even snuck on the truck…. I’m not even supposed to be here….” Red said.
“Wait, you weren't?” Fennec said before stumbling. “Then why are you here anyway?”
“Maybe it’s because she wanted to have fun! Like us! Right guys!” N said as he looked at the WD’s hiding in the corner, their eyes trained on V in fear.
“No, it’s because I snuck on. I was supposed to help out with repairs but hey, screw that. Connor managed to get me on board the trucks without much trouble.” Red replied.
“Wait, Connor? I haven’t heard from him in a long time.” V said, suddenly interested.
“Ya actually what has he been doing?” N said.
“Nothing really, he’s been in the back of the ship working on a pet project of his. I have no idea what that is but he says it’s too important to really say anything about it.” Red replied, shrugging.
“Huh, neat!” N said.
Meanwhile Fennec was in the corner with the WD’s, the WD’s looked terrified of her. Fennec then reached into her shirt to pull something out, as the WD’s prepared for the worst, Fennec then pulled out a green lizard-like animal, it looked two meters long from head to tail. It also had a long, thin body with eight pairs of narrow limbs. It looked to have compound eyes. It didn’t seem to mind as Fennec got it out of her coat as she held it in her arms.
“Hey Fennec, wait…. What’s that!” V yelled in surprise as she turned towards Fennec.
“Oh, I found him a couple years ago! I like him so I keep in my coat and let him rest there. He doesn’t seem to mind.” Fennec said.
“Huh, it looks kind of cute!” N said as he got closer. The WD’s also did the same in curiosity.
“You know, with the things I’ve seen, this is pretty normal. Somehow.” Red said as she shrugged.
N got closer to the green lizard thing, it then liked his visor. N backed his head away a little in shock. However he then giggled and said. “I like this thing. Can I hold him?”
“Sure!” Fennec said. “Anything for you!”
N then took the lizard from Fennec and held it in his arms as it liked his visor again to N’s delight, even V was intrigued by it even if her face didn’t show it.
Uzi however was dealing with things no man could explain. She was inside an abandoned cabin deeper in the woods. As she looked around, it was seemingly empty. There were little robotic bugs running around, doing things such as running away every time Uzi walked over.
Uzi rolled her eyes as she used her abilities to raise a flashlight above her head and turn it on. As she looked around everything looked mostly the same. Suddenly a noise from deeper inside the cabin suddenly resonated. Uzi switched her light to where the noise came from, as she watched. She suddenly saw a glimpse of what looked like a hand going back inside a corner. Uzi suddenly got startled and her flashlight dropped. As she caught it she heard another noise that sounded like a scream from outside. Uzi slowly went to the window and looked out of it.
However, it was just everyone else on the frozen lake, even though it was frozen Uzi could still see everyone one the ice messing around, some of the groups even had boats on the ice.
“This is…. Very underwhelming….” Red said as she was in a boat on the ice with N.
“We'll have to do something! Plus this is very cool!” N said as he went to the front of the boat and stood on it.
“And this is very cool!!” Fennec said as she sat on the back of the boat, the lizard keeping the WD’s happy as they played with it.
On N’s boat there were some more WD’s who were seemingly having fun, rowing the boat along the ice with oar’s. V’s boat also came up to N’s, her boat had a different strategy of doing things. V’s boat had her WD group holding it up. V along with Lizzie was on the top of it.
“Sabotage my minions! Plan X!” V yelled as one of the WD’s below her boat kicked N’s boat off course.
“As the WD’s in N’s boat started to rock. Rebecca suddenly said. “I-I can’t swim!” As she was about to fall onto the ice.
“…. It’s ice.” Red said as she looked at Rebecca. “You can’t swim on ice….” Red sounded a mix of disappointed and confused.
“Oh…. Right.” Rebecca said as she stedied herself on the boat. A little embarrassed.
“I should have never gone on this trip….” Red said to herself as she sighed.
Meanwhile V’s boat was starting to get ahead, however Red simply rolled her eyes and threw a coin she had in her pocket in front of V's boat. The WD holding it up in the front saw the coin and immediately went to pick it up.
“Ohhhh shiny!” He said as he bent down. However then the entire boat lost balance and fell.
V immediately used her wings to float above the crash as she rolled her eyes and looked at Red. Red had a smug expression on her face.
Then suddenly from the right came Aron’s boat, it was painted fully black with a white foundation insignia on its sides. The WD’s now wore wooden helmets, also painted black with the foundation insignia on them.
“I love working for the council!” Aron yelled from the front of the boat as the WD’s rowed with expert precision.
“I love working for the council!” The WD’s yelled back, also in perfect precision.
“Lets me know just who I am!” Aron said again.
“Let’s me know just who I am!” The WD’s said, repeating after Aron.
As Aron’s group passed N, and V’s groups they could only watch as they rowed their boat with military accuracy.
“Did you train them to be soldier’s or something?” V asked Aron as she flew closer.
“Your goddamn right! I’ve trained these WD’s to be soldier’s! When I get back I’ll be leading the first team of WD soldier’s the foundation has ever seen! Now repeat after me maggots!” Aron yelled back to his WD’s as he started the song over again.
All of a sudden, from behind Aron came a noise of what sounded like a car. As Aron turned around to the WD’s he saw Grams boat, it was not really a boat anymore.
Grams boat was now fully fitted with tires and all of the like. It was fully made and fully operational. It was more car than boat.
“Hello Aron.” Gram said as his car-boat passed Aron’s astonished group. N, Fennec and even V watched in awe as Grams' boat practically started to zoom around them in circles.
“H-How?!?” V said.
“Simple, intelligence.” Gram replied.
“Wait…. Where’s Cole?” N said as he looked around.
“Back at the bank of the river. They're still setting up.” Lizzy said with a chuckle as she pointed all the way to the bank, where Cole was trying his best to make his boat.
“It turns out anarchy isn’t a way to run something like that.” Lizzy said.
Meanwhile Uzi watched from the cabin window. Suddenly her face had the symbol of her powers for a split second on her right eye. The window shattered, Uzi immediately backed away, her visor showing a caution sign as she did so.
Uzi’s caution sign then had the words, ‘high heat’ on it as Uzi put down her backpack and looked inside. Inside it was a WD arm, as Uzi looked at the arm she was hyperventilating
Then all of a sudden an all too familiar voice came from behind Uzi.
“Uzi doorman, such a surprise seeing you here.” It said from behind her.
“W-Who-“ Uzi started as she turned around, however was shocked to see not N, V or anyone else. She saw Klen standing behind her, his hands in his coat as his eyes glowed a sickly red.
“Y-You!” Uzi said as she held out her hand with the symbol on it to fight Klen. However Klen just shook his head.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, heretic.” Klen said as he looked behind Uzi.
Uzi looked behind her to see what looked like a horde of fleshy abominations, they looked like they were once human, they all looked at Uzi. They made horrific noises as their flesh had seemingly been torn off. There was no sign of any kind of skin on any of their bodies.
“What do you want?” Uzi said as she looked back to Klen with some hints of fear.
“No no. It’s what you want my dear Uzi. For I have these that may interest you.” Klen then put his hand to its palm as he held it out, suddenly some tentacles came from the ground making a sizable hole, they rose holding up a WD corpse, the tentacles threw it aside as they went back down into the hole in the ground and pulled out three papers.
“This poor WD died alone, it’s a shame. I don’t even remember killing her. However she did write these. Read them, Uzi doorman.” Klen said as the tentacles passed the papers to Uzi.
The papers looked like drawings of a madman, however one of them was a paper from Anderson robotics. Uzi read it carefully and saw it was a notice of some kind. However there was another thing on it written in oil that said. ‘Lights from below’
Uzi turned it around to see a finger from something, perhaps a MD. Uzi took it off and studied it before Klen laughed.
“Enjoy your reading? heretic?” Klen said with a smile.
“Bite me!” Uzi said, looking at Klen with anger.
“Well that is no way to treat an old friend? Well I’ll have to punish you!” Klen said with a sneer.
Uzi started to prepare for the worst as she backed away from both Klen and his flesh creatures.
“Don't worry, I won’t do it myself, for that deed has already been taken. It will arrive shortly. Now Uzi, I hope to see your body in the snow, begging for mercy from yaldabaoth. However, you shall gain none!” Klen said with yet another sneer. Suddenly he and all his flesh creatures sunk into the ground, disappearing from view. As Uzi stared in disbelief at what just happened. She didn’t notice Doll behind her, watching her. Suddenly Doll disappeared before Uzi could even notice.
Then Uzi was suddenly knocked back by something plowing through the wall, knocking Uzi back into the front wall as she turned herself around to see what had happened.
In front of Uzi was a robot of some kind, it was bulky and had two Miniguns for its arms, its shoulders had what looked like small middle silos and it had large legs. As Uzi stared at this robot, it stared back at her with its head being a yellow light camera. Its head was mounted between its shoulder missile silos. Its shoulders had a strange logo Uzi had never seen before. They had the globe of earth colored a light blue on them with the words ‘Protection, Concealment, survival, education, destruction.’ In a circle around the blue globe.
“Absolute solver detected, calculating.” The robot said as it stared at Uzi. “Threat to sapient life if allowed to live. 70%. Course of action…. TERMINATION.” Its eye then glowed a menacing red.
“OH SH-“ Uzi was about to yell when suddenly the robot activated some kind of thrusters and charged at Uzi directly, Uzi reacted fast and activated her powers once again to make a shield with a large version of that symbol blocking in front of her.
However, that did almost nothing as the robot simply charged into the shield, knocking Uzi through the wall of the cabin. Uzi was knocked some ways away from the cabin as she got up from the snow, spitting some out and holding her head as she got up, she looked around and saw trees for miles and the cabin the distance, she must've been hit a mile away from it. Then she noticed the robot was already on its way surprisingly fast, in just a few short moments it was already in front of her.
Uzi immediately used her powers to try to directly target it. However when she tried her visor simply flashed a message. ‘Warning, cannot target.’
“Oh you have to be kidding me-“ Uzi said as suddenly the robot started to fire its miniguns at Uzi without any sense of remorse or emotion.
Uzi immediately used her powers to make a shield around herself as she fled behind a large boulder nearby. The robot started to slowly march to the other side of the boulder as it continued pelting it with its miniguns, slowly destroying Uzi’s cover.
As Uzi tried to think and started to panic, she looked around and saw a large tree nearby, Uzi had an idea. Uzi immediately used her powers to target the tree and with some effort managed to uproot it. As it floated Uzi was surprised even with herself, it was the largest thing she had lifted and she was doing it with ease like it was a metal pipe.
Uzi had no time to think as the robot finally got to the other side and started to fire on Uzi, however she thought quickly and threw the tree at the robot, it knocked it off balance and even somewhat dented it. However other than that it was unaffected.
Uzi immediately put her shield up just in time for the robot to start pelting her with bullets again as it walked closer to her. Suddenly it stopped to Uzi’s surprise. Instead its missile silos then fired what seemed like at least twenty small missiles at Uzi that looked like they were going around the shield.
Uzi immediately panicked and started to try to target the missiles with her other hand. Spikes came from the ground and pre-exploded almost every missile a safe distance away from Uzi, however a couple of them were going straight at Uzi, she was forced to tank them with her shield which immediately broke it and sent Uzi a few feet backwards. The robot wasted no time in firing again, as the bullets were about to hit Uzi she felt fear and panic for her life. Just then she started to fly in the air to dodge the bullets and started to fly away.
Uzi was surprised that she just did that, however she had no time to think as she looked behind herself and saw the robot also flying directly after her, worst of all it was aiming its miniguns and preparing to fire.
“DAMMIT, GO AWAY!” Uzi yelled as she uprooted multiple trees in the area and flung them at the robot, it was knocked down to the ground and, however that did little to stop it from going in the air again, however this time it must’ve put its thrusters to full because it flew faster than Uzi and charged directly into her like a charging bull.
As Uzi was flung out of the air even further away. She was knocked so far she made it to another building, this one was larger and made of actual concrete. It had a sign at the front that said ‘Visitor center’ but Uzi could care less at this moment.
As Uzi fled into the building landed outside and fired its missiles at Uzi to chase her within the building. As Uzi ran through the walls, making sure to knock things down behind her to stop the missiles. They kept coming expertly dodging whatever she threw at them. Then one of the missiles accidentally ran into a pillar as Uzi went around a corner fast into a large open area with a lot of support pillars. Its explosion took out the last few missiles as well as the tower. However it gave Uzi an idea as she looked at the building now shaking from it. Uzi started to smile.
As the robot came into a large open area with all the pillars, it looked around for Uzi and didn’t see her. It seemed confused as it looked again and scanned the area.
“Hey! You! I’m over here!” Uzi yelled as she came out from a pillar and waved her hands with a smirk. The robot didn’t hesitate as it fired its miniguns at her. Uzi however just ran back to the pillar and stayed behind it as the robot destroyed it with the hail of bullets. Then she moved into the next, and the next, and the next.
Uzi’s smile grew larger as more pillars started to fall and the building started to slowly crumble. Then she went behind one of the few pillar’s remaining as the robot fired at it, just as Uzi had hoped.
As the pillar was destroyed, it was the straw that broke the camel's back as all the other pillars started to collapse from the weight of the building practically falling on top of them.
Uzi immediately flew out of the building as fast as she could, the robot was about to follow when the building collapsed on top of it. Outside, Uzi barely made it. She looked behind herself, and after a few seconds of silence.
“HELL YA! I JUST DID THAT! THAT WAS ME!” Uzi yelled as she celebrated.
Just as Uzi was about to go back with a smile on her face. The robot started to slowly crawl from the rubble unnoticed, it was heavily damaged, wires were poking out as one of its arms was gone, it’s legs were missing and dents were all over its body.
“T-TTT-TT-TT-TTERMINATE.” It said as it glitched and sparked.
Uzi turned around just in time to see it just as it fired everything it had at Uzi, its minigun fired one last salvo as it fired whatever missiles it had left. Uzi could barely react In time as she set up her shield. However some bullets made it through and pierced her body, spilling oil on the snow as the missiles hit it and flung Uzi a few feet back as more bullets went into her. As Uzi laid on the ground now seemingly dead. The robot’s eye turned back to yellow.
“M-MM-MMMISSION CCCCCCC-CCCOMPLET. REEEETURRNING TO BASE.” It said as it started to crawl in a direction slowly.
However, Uzi's body started to change. She grew large black organic wings as she screamed in pure rage, the robot turned back confused. Standing over it was Uzi, but that was impossible, its calculations had said nothing could survive a salvo like that.
Uzi stared at the robot with uncaring eyes as her visor turned into a purple >< symbol. She immediately grabbed the robot's head and with strength she should’ve never had. She ripped it off, killing the robot instantly. She then flew back with her wings to the camp.
Meanwhile back at the camp everyone had finished the activities and were back in their cabins, surprising everyone had stayed alive. Mostly thanks to Red’s constant vigilance.
“I. Hate. You.” Red said exhausted as she looked at V.
V shrugged and said. “What? I was only doing what I know.”
“We’ll I had a great time!” Fennec said.
“Same here!” N said as he looked around.
“However I keep counting everyone and yet I don’t see Uzi…. Hmmm…. Wonder where she went?” N said as he looked around.
Meanwhile Rebbeca and Darren were going into the woods, Red had told them this path would lead them to a secluded place free of 939 or 745’s where they could make out peacefully.
“Wow, that Red girl sure knows her stuff.” Darren said as they made it to a small log house.
“I know right?!? She’s my new bestie hands down. Anyway, let's not waste anymore time.”
As they went inside it looked strange. There were some kind of black things on the walls and a flashlight on the ground. As Rebbeca went to pick it up. She suddenly felt a presence from above her. As she and Darren looked above themselves they saw what looked to be Uzi, however she had black organic wings and even a black organic tail that seemed to be alive as it had a face and jaws.
As Rebbeca and Darren starred in absolute horror at Uzi’s new form. Uzi was seemingly about to pounce and kill them, when suddenly a roar was heard from the opposite side of the room. Uzi, Darren and Rebbeca looked over and saw a creature, it looked quadrupedal and had a frog-like stance. It was blood red and had spikes running along its back, its snout was like an alligator and it seemed to have no eyes.
It looked at Uzi and roared again as it swiped in a show of force at Uzi. Uzi put her attention away from Darren and Rebbeca as they fled and instead towards this new foe. Uzi chuckled as it started to charge.
Meanwhile back at camp, N was recounting everyone, not only that but strangest of all was that now the MTF were gone as well.
“You're really bad at this….” V said.
“N-Now hold on! I…. Uhhh…. I can fix this!” N said, now panicking a bit.
Red rolled her eyes and said. “This is why I never should’ve come….”
Suddenly Darren and Rebbeca came running from over a nearby hill and through the trees, they were seemingly running from something.
“Hey guys? What’s wrong? Run into a 939?” Red said confused as she went up first to meet the exhausted pair.
“I-It’s Uzi! She’s gone feral!” Rebbeca said out of breath.
“Oh Uzi would never go feral! That’s crazy talk from a crazy girl!” Fennec said as she patted Rebbeca on the head.
“I-It’s true! She tried to eat us!” Darren replied.
“No slow done, I’m sure Uzi was just trying to scare you-“ N started before being cut off by a head of a 939 suddenly dropping from the sky right next to them as its blood sprayed everywhere.
Suddenly Uzi came flying down with blood on her lips as she crashed on the head, spilling its brains and gore everywhere.
“We’ll…. That’s new-“ Red said before suddenly being flung away by Uzi’s power’s.
N was also about to say something when he was suddenly flung away by Uzi.
Fennec was about to say something but as she saw Uzi her eyes widened into Ovals, and starting to shake and hyperventilate again as she fell onto her knees and then got magically tossed aside like the others.
V however was faster and charged directly. At Uzi, however, just as she was about to stab her. Uzi’s tail grabbed V and flung her deeper into the woods, Uzi flew after her. Uzi cut off V’s right arm and then used her powers to push her into a tree. V tried to shoot Uzi but Uzi just forced her hand up and the missile V shot missed horribly. Uzi then threw V to the ground and was about to stab her with her own syringe tail. When suddenly N came and grabbed Uzi by her coat along with Red who put her sword to Uzi’s neck, Fennec was also there helping V up.
“Woah, easy there.” N said, trying to calm down Uzi. However she just used her powers to hit Red with a nearby tree and stabbed N’s hand with V’s syringe.
“Ow, ok up we go!” N said as he tossed Uzi into the air above the very clouds.
“WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!” Red yelled as she got back up.
“No idea, but we’re trying to fix it.” V said as she regenerated herself.
Fennec said nothing as she lay on the ground curling her arms into her knees still shaking, repeating to herself no over and over again. Almost like she had seen this before.
“Ya…. I’ll go talk to her. Be right back!” N said as he flew up as well.
“…. Where’s those MTF when you need them?” Red said, sitting down next to V.
“I know, it’s infuriating sometimes.” V said, agreeing with Red.
Meanwhile the MTF team watched from a watchtower as Jane pressed a button on her radio and spoke into it.
“It’s happening, send everybody in, heavy and medium vehicles recommend and out down reality anchors. We got her.” Jane said as they started to go down from their watchtower.
From just outside the woods a large force of MTF operatives, tanks, APC’s, helicopters, and even some jets overhead started to move into the woods with utmost haste.
After some time with Red and V successfully making a snowman, N and Uzi suddenly crashed back down and crushed the snowman.
“God Dammit!” Red said, annoyed.
“Oh come on! That took us a few seconds to set up!” V said also annoyed.
“MY SNOWMANNN NOOOOO!” Fennec said as she started to cry a bit.
N was now holding Uzi who had lost her wings and tail.
“Accent was a bad idea anyway….” Uzi said as N was still holding her.
“N…. I’m also sorry….” Uzi said to N.
“Ehhh, not like you killed anyone! Except that 939…. But does that really count as anyone?” N said, looking at Red.
“Maybe, I don’t know I’m not a foundation researcher, why are you looking at me?!?” Red said.
“Hey, is it safe to come out now?” Rebbeca said as she came out from behind a tree. A lot of other WD’s did the same, some were hiding in the snow while others were literally in the trees.
“Wow, that was…. AWESOME! I’d like to see that again with my besties.” Lizzy said as she came out.
“Hey guys! I have returned with a bunch of snacks! As it turns out I left them in the trucks!…. What did I miss?” Thad said as he came out of the woods holding a load of chips and drinks.
Suddenly lights flashed on Uzi, N, V and Fennec as helicopters circled above. MTF ran out of APC’s as they charged into the area, with their guns all pointed to Uzi, their flashlights nearly blinding. Some of them even set up strange machines that glowed red and pulsated with red light.
Jane and the other MTF also came out from the crowd of MTF now gathering around and focusing on Uzi.
“Uzi, N, V, Red, and F. by order of the 05 council. You are all being detained for having abilities that can and will harm the people and things around you. Surrender yourselves or we will be forced to fire!” Jane said.
Uzi, N, V, Red, and Fennec looked around at the force of MTF and vehicles around them, the sound of helicopters above them and jet fighters circling like vultures above them.
“BITE ME!!!” Uzi yelled as she stared at Jane in anger and betrayal.
2023.05.28 06:00 InfernoAA God Made the World in Six Days, I’ll Perfect New Japan's on the Seventh Part Four: Ring o' Roses
In Part Three, Shingo Takagi confronted both his duties as World Heavyweight Champion and member of Los Ingobernables de Japon, proceeding to right the wrongs of his first reign by winning the January 4 main event against Tetsuya Naito to squash their beef and become co-leaders. With PAC shockingly joining the group after having gone on a crusade against them, they seemed stronger than ever, all except for Shingo's neck. Feeling the weight of CHAOS crushing it, it took both Kazuchika Okada and Hiroshi Tanahashi to bring him to his knees, the Ace of the Universe back to his rightful spot after 5 years, restoring CHAOS’s purist regime. Ending off on keeping the riches from blood rival Katsuyori Shibata yet again, he now awaits the arrival of the 2024 New Japan Cup Winner...
New Japan Cup Finals (March 28, 2024)
“ZACK SABRE JR. HAS PAC IN HYPERNORMALISATION! PAC SUBMITS! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR THE THIRD TIME IN HISTORY OUR NEW JAPAN CUP WINNER IS ZSJ!” After two failed attempts to translate his cup success into gold, the Bone Master has another chance to fulfil his career’s greatest goal. And out walks the man he beat in the 2018 Finals for his first win, the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, Hiroshi Tanahashi! One of Zack’s biggest rivals since coming to Japan, and one that’s had his number more time than he’s had theirs, he must beat the godly Ace of the Universe if he wishes to claim his first piece of IWGP-commissioned singles gold!
The stage set for Sakura Genesis, Sabre makes sure to rub in everyone’s faces the premonition he laid down at New Year’s Dash. He said to LIJ he’d be back for the title, and after beating one of their men, he’s made good on his claims. And now, he’s going to make ‘God’ bow to him, whether he wants to or not. When asked for his opinion on the challenger, Tanahashi says he’s amused by how earnestly the Windy Man’s tried to become a New Japan guy, moving his entire life to Japan in pursuit of the top prize. Whilst that dedication may be admirable, it’ll be for nought, Zack just another visitor to his grand kingdom, CHAOS remaining Sabre’s white whale at the end of every NJC journey.
Sakura Genesis (April 7, 2024)
Also on the show:
United Empire (Will Ospreay, Great-O-Khan, Aaron Henare) (c) vs Just6Guys (SANADA, Taichi, Ryohei Oiwa) - NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship
YOH (c) vs El Desperado - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
TMDK (c) vs Bishamon - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs Zack Sabre Jr. XI - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
They say third time’s the charm, but that remains to be seen in Sabre’s case. Sabre-Gun with mixed successes throughout the night, El Desperado coming up short whilst TMDK kept their gold, it’s up to their leader to set an example for his group. Popping his collar, he steels his gaze on the championship as Tanahashi makes his entrance, Zack blocking out the surrounding world. Despite channelling the controversial words of the polarising Okada for the past year, Hiroshi still has Ryogoku in the palm of his hands, remaining the people’s favourite no matter the shade of grey he envelops himself in. Back to his pomp and circumstance, he gives ZSJ the full show of what a true star looks like, ready to bring Sabre back down to reality.
It's a methodical opening from the two talented grapplers, Tanahashi standing toe-to-toe with the best technical wrestler in the world with merely his sheer aura. Sabre shoots for an early Article 50, but Tana sidesteps him into the ropes, before condescendingly patting him on the cheek! Zack retaliates with a forearm, knocking Tana to the mat, a deluge of stomps raining down on his face as the Hiroshi tries to cover up!
Escaping to the ropes, Sabre charges at him with a EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! Tana evades, connecting a DRAGON-STYLE HARITE, slapping respect into the challenger! Incensed, Sabre leaves a mark with a stinging slap of his own, before nailing a chain of Uppercuts! Tana fights back for a TWIST AND SHOUT, though Sabre counters with a FLATLINER! A High-Angle German is stuffed, Zack decked with an ALL OUT and a MIDDLE-ROPE SENTON BOMB! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!
Tana guns for the leg like he did Shibata, but a Feint Roundhouse into a Legsweep from ZSJ floors him! AND A NECK TWIST!!! With Hiroshi distracted by his neck, Sabre immediately switches for the legs, applying SUNDAY RAIL ENGINEERING WORKS REPLACEMENT BUS SERVICE!!! Tana’s quick to make the ropes, though has to physically pull himself to the apron when Sabre doesn’t release! No breather for him, Zack hooks his leg in the ropes and connects a DRAGON SCREW!
Tana receiving a taste of his own medicine, Sabre slides out and scores one directly on the apron, bashing Hiroshi’s leg into the hardest part of the ring! He attempts to Irish Whip Tanahashi into the ring post, but the Once in a Century Talent nails a SLING BLADE ON THE APRON! DRAGON SUPLEX TO THE FLOOR!!! Playing the starpower card, Tana poses with a grin as the cameras catch a shot of Sabre beneath him. He doesn’t notice Zack’s little twitches though, committing to a HIGH FLY FLOW TO THE OUTSIDE!!! A POSSUM SABRE PUSHES HIM MID-AIR ONTO THE BARRICADE!!!
As Tokyo gasps, it’s academic from Sabre as he threads Tana’s leg through a steel chair, PILMANISING IT!!! Evidence long discarded by the time the referee walks over, he wraps Hiroshi’s leg around the steel post, using it to apply a SASORI-GATAME!!! Tana lets out shouts of agony, Zack milking the suffering as Hiroshi begs the referee to get the challenger to stop. Eventually letting go, he forces Tanahashi to walk himself back into the spider’s web, a SPRINGBOARD ENZUIGIRI awaiting! BRIDGING NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!
Swivelling into a KNEEBAR now, he rolls around with Tana’s leg in his grasp, countering Hiroshi’s each attempts at escape, before going for the SELECTED TECHNICAL WORKS VOL. 2 combination, but Tana stacks his shoulders up! ONE! TWO! THR-NO LUCK! Forced to release to kick out, he scrambles to his feet to batter Hiroshi with a elbows, a DISCUS ELBOW SMASH staggering him, but a Pele Kick is caught, Tana nailing his own DRAGON SCREW!!!
A TWIST AND SHOUT follows, before Tana wraps on the DRAGON SWING! Wrenching on the neck, he makes a good few rotations before suddenly dropping to a knee, his leg unable to hold up for too long. Going for a DRAGON SUPLEX, it’s blocked by a barrage of back elbows, though Hiroshi nails the DARUMA-SHIKI GERMAN INSTEAD!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SABRE KICKS OUT! Nursing his neck, Sabre gets no reprieve as a HASE URANAGE spikes him, and a HIGH FLY ATTACK… IS CAUGHT IN AN ANKLE LOCK!!!
Tana rolls through but Sabre rolls with him, though he can’t get the grapevine, Tana booting him off with the other leg! TWIST AND SHOUT! Sabre subdued, a SLING BLADE takes him down, a HIGH FLY FLOW FOLLOWING SUIT!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Tana rushes for a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF, putting the hurt on Zack’s legs now! The Submission Master searches for escapes yet Hiroshi commits his everything to this move, not letting him free for the life of him! That is, until his own leg gives way! Grounded, he can’t stop a PENALTY KICK!!! AND A ZACK DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-TANA STAYS ALIVE!!!
Ragdolling Hiroshi with a pair of Double Underhook Suplexes, Zack puts Tana in a prone position to stomp the insides of the knees, before applying a CALF SLICER!!! Yet again, the Ace of the Universe is in trouble, his condition deteriorating with each submission. Knowing he needs to change that and fast… HE GRABS ZACK’S SKULL AND RAMS IT INTO THE MAT REPEATEDLY TO BREAK!!! Gears turning in his mind from Sabre’s tribute, HE GETS HIM UP FOR A STYLES CLASH!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SABRE SURVIVES!!!
Connecting a SLING BLADE, he dumps Zack with a DRAGON SUPLEX! ZACK RESPONDS WITH ONE OF HIS OWN! Open palm strikes from Tana light up Zack, only for him to wring out the arm for a PELE KICK!!! Sabre teases a Legsweep, but Hiroshi hops over this time and nails a GROUNDED HIGH FLY FLOW!!! Air driven out of ZSJ’s lungs, Tana hoists him up… AND NAILS A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! SHADES OF OKADA!!! The CHAOS Leader beating him like this both past Sakura Geneses, it’s going to happen again!
Scaling the ropes, Tana crashes down with a HIGH FLY FLOWWWWWWWWWW!!! But he’s not done! Wanting to make an example out of Sabre, he takes his time posing atop the world like the star he is… BUT IT ALLOWS ZACK TO RECOVER, GRABBING HIS LEG!!! Hammering the knee before Tana has a chance to respond, he yanks him off… RUNNING LIGER BOMB!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!!! STRAIGHT INTO CLARKY CAT BAD BALLOON REMIX!!! Folding Tana’s leg over his shoulder, he utterly destroys the geriatric knees over the champion, who wails in agony, doing anything he can to break free… BUT HE’S TOO FAR FROM THE ROPES!!! TANAHASHI TAPS OUT!!! THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM – ZSJ’S THE NEW KING OF NEW JAPAN!!!
Zack Sabre Jr. def. Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) to win the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (30:23)
Cutting Tanahashi’s reign brutally short, Sabre-Gun has claimed its spot on the throne! Raising up both his trophy and championship, he’s lifted onto TMDK’s shoulders, the three men flaunting their gold to the world as the remainder of the stable joins them! Tana shell-shocked, he hangs his head in shame and despair as he limps off, Ryogoku the first of many dark days for NJPW…
As the new monarch, Sabre’s first order of business is simple – kill off his counterpart. And by that he means the man who successfully defended the title against him last year, Will Ospreay. Though he may hold the title, jealousy courses through ZSJ’s veins knowing the Commonwealth Kingpin’s considered the company’s top gaijin despite Zack’s superior record over him. Wanting to change that, he calls out Ospreay, who’s fresh off dropping the NEVER 6-Man Titles to Just6Guys, having had quite the identity crisis since having the WK main event taken from him. Eager at the chance at a do-over, he accepts without hesitation.
Wrestling Hinokuni (April 27, 2024)
Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr. & TMDK) vs United Empire (Will Ospreay & Aussie Open)
Whilst Sabre and Ospreay have kept their distance since their Royal Quest match, the same can’t be said about the greater stables. World Tag League Winners TMDK taking Aussie Open’s IWGP Tag Team Championship at Wrestle Kingdom and United Empire successfully defending the NEVER Titles against Sabre-Gun at the Anniversary Show, this conclusion was only inevitable. Aussie Open also wanting a chance to get their titles back, they team with Ospreay here against the champion unit, the Commonwealth Nations going to war for supremacy.
Unlike Royal Quest, Sabre’s notably a lot surer of himself against Will here, no longer compensating by matching his striking game, rather trying to make Ospreay play his game instead. However, even with Zack being in his best possible form, SG falters against UE once more, the Coriolis to Mikey Nicholls setting the stage for Wrestling Dontaku! Zack grits his teeth as much like Tanahashi, Ospreay looks down on him.
United Empire def. Sabre-Gun (17:34)
Wrestling Dontaku (May 4, 2024)
Also on the show:
Ren Narita (c) vs Shota Umino - NEVER Openweight Championship
Taichi (c) vs Hiromu Takahashi - NJPW World Television Championship
YOH (c) vs Robbie Eagles - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
KENTA (c) vs PAC - IWGP United States Championship
TMDK (c) vs Aussie Open - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Will Ospreay XVII - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
A rivalry extending back an entire decade to the UK Indies, the spot for best British wrestler in the world has long been contested between these two. Back at it again, it’s time they settle the score once more. Ospreay strides out comfortably, having been in this position plenty of times by now as a potentially soon-to-be 3x World Champion, this his domain. As for Sabre, it’s his first time defending a title of this magnitude, pressure clearly weighing on his shoulders, but taking a deep breath, he prepares himself for victory just like TMDK earlier in the night.
As the bell rings… Ospreay explodes for a DROPKICK right away – shades of NJC 2021! Zack fishes the leg out the air and applies an ANKLE LOCK, LOOKING TO TAP HIM OUT WITHIN THE FIRST FEW SECONDS OF THE MATCH! Alarmed, Ospreay thrashes with kicks from his free leg to force Sabre off, rolling to the outside to recollect himself! Sabre doesn’t let him though, nailing a Baseball Slide Dropkick, before tossing him back in and wrangling the leg again!
A roll shakes him off, a HOOK KICK following, AND AN OSCUTTER! Sabre stops it though, countering with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Will rotates through to his feet and soars for a STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS, but again Zack dodges! BOW & ARROW ATTEMPT! Will flips into a cover, Zack kicking out instantly! Ospreay handsprings off the ropes, teasing his signature Enzuigiri, Sabre grasping the leg mid-air, but another follows, wrapping around his neck to twist through into a CROSS ARMBREAKER FROM WILL!
Sabre gets the monkey grip, preventing full extension, BUT WILL BITES THE FINGERS TO FORCE HIM OFF, now getting the full stretch, yelling at the referee to ask Zack if he submits! Sabre refuses however, rolling onto his stomach to turn the hold over and stand up, getting his legs around Will’s neck to score a NECK TWIST, getting him to release!
Zack knowing it to be a sore spot, he gets rallying with European Uppercuts to rock it like a bobblehead, before leaping into a GUILLOTINE CHOKE! Zack tightens his grip around Will’s neck, but a BUCKLE EXPLODER SUPLEX loosens it again as Sabre’s left dangling in a Tree of Woe! Ospreay sits cross-legged in front of him and SMASHES HIS NOSE WITH FOREARMS, busting a defenceless Zack open! Fish-hooking the nose, Will shakes his head about and lets crimson droplets paint the surroundings like a psychopathic Bob Ross, before letting go, cackling.
He heads to the top rope, but Zack meets him there, pulling himself up using his core strength and crotching Will on the neighbouring rope! The two face-to-face again, Zack sitting on the turnbuckle and Will on the rope, they trade forearms, blood continuing to leak down Sabre’s face, but he doesn’t care, INSTEAD GRABBING WILL’S LEG TO SUSPEND HIM UPSIDE-DOWN WITH A HANGING SUNDAY RAIL ENGINEERING WORKS REPLACEMENT BUS SERVICE!!!
Will’s in sheer agony as Sabre contorts his limb, but he’s saved by the referee’s count, Sabre forced to let go, Ospreay slumping to the apron. Zack turns to face the apron as he collects his wits and catches his breath, whilst Will nurses his leg, being checked on by the referee to make sure he’s good to continue, hopping to his base. Sabre settles down on the apron behind Will, grabbing him from behind, TESTING AN APRON TIGER SUPLEX!
Ospreay smashes the nose with a rear headbutt to ward him off! AND HE SPRINGS OFF ONE LEG TO DROP SABRE WITH AN APRON OSCUTTER, BOTH MEN SPILLING TO THE FLOOR!!! The referee starts their count as both lay still, no sign of movement as the 10 count nears. Reaching 12 now, they finally begin to stir, getting on all fours… 13… 14… 15… OSPREAY’S LEG GIVES OUT! 16… 17… 18… BOTH MEN MAKE ONE LAST PUSH, SABRE SHOVING HIMSELF INSIDE THE RING BY 19, WHILST OSPREAY PULLS HIMSELF UP ONTO THE APRON AND SPRINGS OFF ONE LEG ON THE ROPES FOR A PIP PIP CHEERIO!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!!!
Coming down hard on the leg though, Ospreay writhes in pain, but with Zack down, he pulls himself up with every last bit of energy he has up for STORM BREAKER… ZACK WITH AN OCTOPUS HOLD!!! Will immediately rams him into the turnbuckle until he lets up, Sabre instead sliding down his back like a bird hitting a window, OSPREAY COLLECTING HIM TO NAIL A HITODENASHI DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOO!!!
Will shouts in frustration, having jammed the leg on the landing. Feeling victory nigh though, he preps the HIDDEN BLADE!!! SABRE SPINS AROUND AND COUNTERS WITH A ZACK DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NO DICE!!! PENTALTY KICK! ANOTHER COVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-STILL NO LUCK!!! NOW A NUMERO DOS A LA DESPERADO!!! Ospreay screams as Sabre tears the leg in half, Will dancing around in search of reprieve, until a FRANKENSTEINER stands ZSJ on his dome! BRAINBUSTER FOLLOWS!
Sabre rocked, Ospreay cracks the CHELSEA GRIN against his neck, before connecting the HIDDEN BLADE!!! ONE! TWO! THR-ZACK’S STILL IN IT!!! Will’s leg is falling apart as he stumbles back into the corner to try for seconds, losing balance and collapsing before he can reach his target! EUROPEAN CLUTCH FROM ZACK!!! ONE! TWO! THR-OSPREAY SURVIVES!!! BUT A PENALTY KICK TO THE SKULL! AND STRAIGHT INTO ORIENTEERING WITH NAPALM DEATH!!! OSPREAY THRASHES LIKE A MADMAN, FEELING HIS LIGAMENTS ON THE VERGE OF TEARING… AND HE TAPS!!!
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) def. Will Ospreay to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (34:18)
One more for the bad guys. Commonwealth Kingpin at his mercy, Ospreay a mess as he scrambles off, Zack’s the new Top Gaijin in town. Raising his title high from the turnbuckles, he juices every last drop out his victory, this moment perfect to him… or not. OH MY GOD IT’S MINORU SUZUKI!!! Any bit of colour that remains on ZSJ’s pale face drains off as the King’s music rings through Fukuoka, but there’s no sign of the man- WAIT, SABRE’S SPUN AROUND! KICK TO THE GUT – GOTCH-STYLE PILEDRIVER!!! HE’S HERE!!! Placing a boot on Zack’s chest, Suzuki holds the World Title high over his former stablemate’s body!
The ending of Dontaku has Japan buzzing as they question the true motive of Suzuki’s attack, and after an extended silence, the King sets the record straight. 1 ½ years ago, Suzuki-Gun was dissolved, and ever since, Sabre’s been writing checks with his mouth that he can’t cash. He walks around with the World Title like he’s the reason he even received recognition in NJPW in the first place. Suzuki gave him a home beside him, and as rapidly as he elevated Sabre, he can take it all away from him just as fast. He’s getting old and is still missing the final piece to the Japanese Triple Crown, so he plans to take that from Zack.
Sabre doesn’t take too kindly to these words, letting his actions speak for himself as he ASSAULTS SUZUKI on a Road To Dontaku show! Bringing Sabre-Gun with him, they brutalise the legend, before Zack plants his group’s flag on Suzuki’s chest! Mocking him for having no allies the next night, declaring Suzuki’s era of relevance to be long gone… this plays. SUZUKI’S HERE, AND HE’S NOT ALONE! IT’S JUST6GUYS!!! Racing to the ring, the two factions erupt in a massive brawl, bodies flying left and right! Sabre tries for a quick getaway but he’s stopped by Minoru, who gives him a devilish snarl before clobbering him with forearms until Sabre-Gun’s sent packing through the crowd, Zack yelling expletives at Suzuki as he retreats!
Back to Yokohama Arena (May 16, 2024)
Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr., El Desperado & TMDK) vs Minoru Suzuki & Just3Guys (Taichi, Yoshinobu Kanemaru, DOUKI)
With Sabre-Gun and Just6Guys feuding ever since their respective formations, switching between silent competitive warfare of racking up belts to fighting each other, notably the Sabre/Taichi saga, it all fully comes to a head in Suzuki’s home of Yokohama! With full freedom to destroy each other however they please, the two factions don’t hold back one bit, with Suzuki especially targeting ZSJ. He’s unable to give him grief the way he wishes to though, Zack tactfully hiding behind his partners until he can blindside Minoru, before scramming again. Ultimately, it’s Minoru putting Desperado away with the GOTCH PILEDRIVER, before signalling to Sabre that time’s running out for him, Suzuki to get his hands on him too soon enough!
Minoru Suzuki & J6G def. Sabre-Gun (15:03)
As much as Sabre tries to deny it, that day only speeds closer with each accusation of cowardice against the prideful champion’s name, the world questioning whether he’s afraid of Suzuki. Adamant to silence his doubters, he finally accepts Suzuki’s title challenge, setting the stage for Dominion, though promising he won’t have a career to go back to when Sabre’s done with him!
Dominion 6.2 (June 2, 2024)
Also on the show:
YOH (c) vs SHO - IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship
Just2Guys (c) vs Sabre-Gun (Blake Christian & Clark Connors) - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
TMDK (c) vs The Lucha Brothers - IWGP Tag Team Championship
PAC (c) vs Katsuyori Shibata - IWGP United States Championship
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Minoru Suzuki - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
With Sabre-Gun beating Just6Guys earlier in the night, this war’s already at its boiling point by the time the main event arrives, Suzuki opting to enter second as Zack steps out- CRACK! STEEL CHAIR TO SABRE’S SPINE!!! Suzuki isn’t wasting even a second here, tearing the jacket off Sabre’s back before bending the steel over his spine! The Windy Man desperately tries to crawl away to the ring, but Suzuki steps on his ankle to stop him! Turning him around to meet his maker, MINORU GOES FOR A GOTCH PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAIR!!! LOW BLOW FROM SABRE TO COUNTER!!!
Suzuki drops to his knees as Osaka boos the smarmy champion, ZSJ now battering the King’s back, before finally sliding him in to get the match started! PENALTY KICK RIGHT AWAY!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!!! Sabre wrenches in a CLARKY CAT, working the arm as Suzuki writhes under him, but it’s not long before Minoru stands up out of it, hurling ZSJ to the mat! Booting him in the jaw, Suzuki backs him into the corner and tears into him with open palm strikes! He winds up a CORNER DROPKICK, but Sabre evades, blasting him with a rapid barrage of European Uppercuts against the turnbuckle!
Zack taking the run-up now, Suzuki bucks him over the ropes to the apron, SABRE BLASTING A THUMB IN HIS EYE! Minoru blinded, Zack leaps up for a SPRINGBOARD ENZUIGIRI- SUZUKI BLOCKS WITH A WILD SLAP TO THE CHEEK!!! Sabre stiffed, Suzuki applies a HANGING JUJI-GATAME FROM THE ROPES!!! Zack screams in agony as Minoru damn near rips his arm out the socket, the referee’s count the only thing keeping him from going!
Releasing, Sabre crumples to the floor, getting as far as he possibly can from Suzuki, though he’s not fast enough, Suzuki nailing a GOAL KICK to his skull from the apron! Grabbing Sabre, he HURLS him into the guardrail with it shoulder-first, the velocity sending Zack through! As he goes to collect his prey though, SABRE TOSSES A CHAIR AT HIS SKULL!!! Threading Suzuki’s arm through it, SABRE STOMPS THE ELBOW!!! AND AN ARTICLE 50!!!
Sabre abuses the legend, but he forgets about the other arm, Suzuki slapping his head in with it until Zack releases! Shaking off the arm, a BACK BODY DROP sends Sabre crashing back to ringside, Minoru following after him as ZSJ slinks inside the ring. Zack beats him to his feet though, stomping a hole through the mat with Suzuki’s skull, dribbling it! He cracks a ROLLING ELBOW off the skull, but Minoru walks through it, glaring at Sabre! Throwing an elbow of his own, it gets caught, Zack scoring the PELE KICK to the arm!
AND A KIMURA LOCK!!! Sabre brutally rips at the arm, bringing Suzuki to his knees from the pain even, but Minoru pins his shoulders to the mat! ONE! TWO! THR-SABRE RELEASES TO KICK OUT! As Zack rolls to his feet, a SHOTGUN DROPKICK awaits him! Suzuki clobbers him with slaps to the face, Sabre seeing stars as one knocks him clean off his feet! Turning to the turnbuckle… SUZUKI RIPS IT OFF!!! Steel exposed, he teases a SNAP SUPLEX INTO THE CORNER!!! SABRE COUNTERS WITH A BRAINBUSTER ON THE MAT!!! GUILLOTINE CHOKE!!!
Draining the life out of Suzuki, Sabre presses on the carotid artery, Minoru is deep trouble! BUT NOW THE KING BITES ON ZSJ’S FINGERS!!! Zack yelps and releases, allowing Suzuki to secure his wrists and STOMP HIS HEAD IN!!! Sabre catches a boot and applies SUNDAY RAIL ENGINEERING WORKS REPLACEMENT BUS SERVICE!!! ZSJ tortures Suzuki’s leg, though in doing so leaves his arm exposed, Minoru yanking off his grip and countering into HIS OWN HEEL HOOK!!!
Sabre desperately tries the same counter, but Suzuki’s grip is too tight to break, forcing Zack to roll to the ropes! SUZUKI ISN’T LETTING GO! Crawling on his hands, Sabre pulls himself to the floor and WHIPLASHES MINORU’S NECK OFF THE BOTTOM ROPE!!! Staggering about ringside on one foot, he grabs his title and rolls back in! Suzuki struggling up, Sabre tries to deck him with the belt… but the referee grabs it from behind! A tug-of-war ends in SUZUKI KNOCKING THE BELT INTO THE REF WITH AN ENZUIGIRI!
Both men hitting the deck, Minoru rocks ZSJ with a Dropkick! GOTCH PILEDRIVER ONTO THE TITLE!!! But there’s no one to count! Pissed, Suzuki limps out and abuses a couple young lions, before picking one out the crowd to toss in the ring, ripping the referee’s shirt off and telling the lion to put it on! SUZUKI COVERS! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Even more livid, HE DECKS THIS LION TOO! Turning back to Zack, he notices the champion feebly reaching for the belt! Kicking it out the ring, Suzuki goes for another GOTCH PILEDRIVER!!! BACK BODY DROP COUNTER!!!
Still hurting, Sabre struggles to get a rally of strikes going, Suzuki meeting him blow for blow! BUT SABRE WHIPS THE SHOULDER INTO THE MAT! Minoru stunned, sadistic thoughts run through Sabre’s mind… TIGER SUPLEX INTO THE EXPOSED STEEL!!! AND A RUNNING LIGER BOMB – ONE OF SUZUKI’S RIVALS MOVES!!! THE REFEREE’S BACK TO CONSCIOUSNESS! NOT LIKE THIS! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Sabre’s exasperated, thinking he had it! Running out of options, he teases a ZACK DRIVER, but Suzuki slips behind and applies the SLEEPER HOLD!!! Sabre’s quickly fading, frantically trying to tear the bad arm off, but Minoru doesn’t budge, shoving ZSJ to the mat for the PENALTY KICK!!! ONE! TWO! THR-ZACK KICKS OUT!!! Suzuki grabs Sabre by the chin, demanding him to strike Minoru if he thinks he’s so tough, ZSJ doing his best, but Suzuki eats it and returns a HARD SLAP! SLEEPER SUPLEX!!!
Tossing Sabre to the apron, Minoru steps onto the middle rope and cinches in an ELEVATED SLEEPER!!! Zack dangles in the air, unable to find his footing to escape, Suzuki lifting him higher and higher! Blood rushing to his legs, he needs to act fast, attacking the elbow again until the hold is finally slightly loosened! Leaning forwards, he pulls Suzuki his direction, allowing him to lower his feet onto the apron… YANKING SUZUKI INTO AN APRON ZACK DRIVER!!!
Sabre coughs up a lung as he kicks Minoru’s corpse back in, before lining up a PENALTY KICK!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SUZUKI’S ALIVE!!! Zack’s stunned as he comes face-to-face with Suzuki’s sneer, Minoru still having enough in him to throw slaps! Sabre returning Uppercuts, they go blow-for-blow until Zack collapses first, though he’s playing possum, HEADBUTTING THE SHOULDER as the King tries to grab him! He goes for YOU CAN’T PLAY CONKERS IN ENGLAND, though he’s immediately tossed down, SUZUKI NAILING A PENALTY KICK!!!
Winding up, Minoru goes for one more… ZACK SLAPS HIS HEAD OFF HIS SHOULDERS!!! Putting the head between his legs, HE NAILS A GOTCH PILEDRIVER!!! Suzuki collapses in position for a PENALTY KICK!!! AND NOW SABRE CINCHES IT IN – HURRAH! ANOTHER YEAR, SURELY THIS ONE WILL BE BETTER THAN THE LAST; THE INEXORABLE MARCH OF PROGRESS WILL LEAD US ALL TO HAPPINESS!!! Suzuki grits his teeth, trying to fight through it, Sabre keeping his eyes on his hands to see the tap… NOWHERE TO GO, MINORU FLIPS HIM OFF WITH BOTH HANDS AND VERBALLY SUBMITS!!!
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) def. Minoru Suzuki to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (32:50)
Surviving one of the toughest matches of his career, Zack’s kingdom still lives, though barely. As he’s handed his title though, he chucks it aside, this about far more than the gold to him! SABRE STOMPS OUT SUZUKI!!! Signalling to the back, out rush Sabre-Gun, coming to Sabre’s aid to conduct a mugging on the legend! SUDDEN DEATH FROM ELP! PINCHE LOCO FROM DESPERADO! THUNDER VALLEY FROM TMDK! TANDEM JEEP FLIP/DROPKICK FROM BLAKE, CONNORS AND FUJITA! And now, it's Zack’s turn. Dragging him to the concrete… HE’S GOING FOR THE GOTCH PILEDRIVER!!! HE WANTS TO RETIRE SUZUKI FOR GOOD!!!
BUT HERE COMES J6G!!! AND LANCE ARCHER TOO!!! Sabre tosses Suzuki aside to deal with the oncoming traffic, Taichi and co. putting up an honourable fight, but they’re still down a man, Sabre-Gun managing to retain their upper-hand, until… OH MY GOD, IT’S SUZUKI’S OLD TAG PARTNER NAOMICHI MARUFUJI!!! Sabre can’t even get a curse out before a KO-OH SMACKS HIM IN THE FACE!!! Marufuji beats on Zack to turn the tide, going for the POLE SHIFT, but Sabre manages to escape in the nick of time, Sabre-Gun once again sent on the retreat, the show closing on Marufuji helping Suzuki up!
NJPW/AJPW/NOAH All Together Again (June 7, 2024)
Zack Sabre Jr. vs Naomichi Marufuji
After the events of Dominion, it’s only natural these two fight, long, long overdue a one-on-one since their NOAH days together! Fighting in Suzuki’s honour, Marufuji steps to the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion and it’s like 2016 all over again the way he utterly humbles Sabre to start like he’s facing Okada! A match of two halves, it goes from Naomichi giving ZSJ the biggest whooping of his life to Sabre brutally breaking down the legend, reminding him he’s 8 years too old to still be winning these sorts of matches. Though Maru gives Zack grief one more than one occasion, he meets his demise at the hands of a CREMATION LILY, Sabre spitting on Naomichi as he leaves, declaring himself untouchable!
Zack Sabre Jr. def. Naomichi Marufuji (25:37)
With his war on J6G and friends officially behind him, Sabre sets his sights on a show he has quite some history with. Losing to Claudio Castagnoli at the first Forbidden Door, before beating Katsuyori Shibata at the second to take both the NJPW TV and ROH Pure Titles to ALL IN to submit Danielson, there’s naturally only one direction for him to head…
Dynamite (June 12, 2024)
Racking another AEW International Championship defence under his belt, Wheeler YUTA is on top of the world, and as he’s approached by Tony Schiavone for a post-match comment… WHACK! IWGP WORLD TITLE TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!!! SABRE-GUN’S HERE!!! Mugging Blackpool Combat Club’s young gun like they did Suzuki, a SABRE DRIVER leaves him broken on the mat as Zack yells down the camera that he wants Moxley’s head at Forbidden Door, scurrying away before BCC can make the save!
Collision (June 15, 2024)
Zack Sabre Jr. vs Wheeler YUTA
Off the back of Sabre’s assault on YUTA, a match is made between the two technically-gifted champions in a massive Collision main event! Though ZSJ’s far out his paygrade, an arrogant Wheeler does his best to knock off the Technical Wizard, impressing with a display of submissions he’s picked up from Danielson, before employing some of Claudio’s marquee athleticism and Mox’s grittiness. Never a fair match to begin with though, a TESCO MEAL DEAL cruelly silences YUTA!
Zack Sabre Jr. def. Wheeler YUTA (10:12)
Grabbing a mic, Zack runs down Moxley, reminding him how they were supposed to fight 4 years ago until the pandemic ruined that, Jon ducking him ever since. Now though, he’s the last member of BCC he needs to get through before he can shut up those babies too, so all he needs to know is if Jon is still afraid of him or not. And as Sabre awaits his response… HE RECEIVES IT IN THE FORM OF A PARADIGM SHIFT!!! Mox holds Zack’s title over his body, gaining some retribution for YUTA!
AEWxNJPW Forbidden Door (June 23, 2024)
Also on the show:
The Lucha Brothers (c) vs La Faccion Ingobernable (RUSH & Dralistico) - IWGP Tag Team Championship
PAC (c) vs Swerve Strickland - IWGP United States Championship
Tetsuya Naito vs Andrade El Idolo
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Jon Moxley - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
The final showdown of a lengthy saga, Sabre makes his third defence against New Japan’s Ace, and it’s quite literally a bloody clinic, Mox showing zero fear in the face of the Top Gaijin, who looks to plant his flag over another territory. From a Paradigm Shift to the floor to a Zack Driver through a table, both men are busted open by the surroundings, the blood loss only helping Sabre’s case when he locks in the HYPERNORMALISATION, causing Mox to pass out! Alas, ZSJ stands atop BCC, but perhaps a more personal challenge yet awaits him…
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) def. Jon Moxley to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (23:20)
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New Japan Cup Finals (March 28, 2024)
“ZACK SABRE JR. HAS PAC IN HYPERNORMALISATION! PAC SUBMITS! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOR THE THIRD TIME IN HISTORY OUR NEW JAPAN CUP WINNER IS ZSJ!” After two failed attempts to translate his cup success into gold, the Bone Master has another chance to fulfil his career’s greatest goal. And out walks the man he beat in the 2018 Finals for his first win, the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, Hiroshi Tanahashi! One of Zack’s biggest rivals since coming to Japan, and one that’s had his number more time than he’s had theirs, he must beat the godly Ace of the Universe if he wishes to claim his first piece of IWGP-commissioned singles gold!
The stage set for Sakura Genesis, Sabre makes sure to rub in everyone’s faces the premonition he laid down at New Year’s Dash. He said to LIJ he’d be back for the title, and after beating one of their men, he’s made good on his claims. And now, he’s going to make ‘God’ bow to him, whether he wants to or not. When asked for his opinion on the challenger, Tanahashi says he’s amused by how earnestly the Windy Man’s tried to become a New Japan guy, moving his entire life to Japan in pursuit of the top prize. Whilst that dedication may be admirable, it’ll be for nought, Zack just another visitor to his grand kingdom, CHAOS remaining Sabre’s white whale at the end of every NJC journey.
Sakura Genesis (April 7, 2024)
Also on the show:
United Empire (Will Ospreay, Great-O-Khan, Aaron Henare) (c) vs Just6Guys (SANADA, Taichi, Ryohei Oiwa) - NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship
YOH (c) vs El Desperado - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
TMDK (c) vs Bishamon - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs Zack Sabre Jr. XI - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
They say third time’s the charm, but that remains to be seen in Sabre’s case. Sabre-Gun with mixed successes throughout the night, El Desperado coming up short whilst TMDK kept their gold, it’s up to their leader to set an example for his group. Popping his collar, he steels his gaze on the championship as Tanahashi makes his entrance, Zack blocking out the surrounding world. Despite channelling the controversial words of the polarising Okada for the past year, Hiroshi still has Ryogoku in the palm of his hands, remaining the people’s favourite no matter the shade of grey he envelops himself in. Back to his pomp and circumstance, he gives ZSJ the full show of what a true star looks like, ready to bring Sabre back down to reality.
It's a methodical opening from the two talented grapplers, Tanahashi standing toe-to-toe with the best technical wrestler in the world with merely his sheer aura. Sabre shoots for an early Article 50, but Tana sidesteps him into the ropes, before condescendingly patting him on the cheek! Zack retaliates with a forearm, knocking Tana to the mat, a deluge of stomps raining down on his face as the Hiroshi tries to cover up!
Escaping to the ropes, Sabre charges at him with a EUROPEAN UPPERCUT! Tana evades, connecting a DRAGON-STYLE HARITE, slapping respect into the challenger! Incensed, Sabre leaves a mark with a stinging slap of his own, before nailing a chain of Uppercuts! Tana fights back for a TWIST AND SHOUT, though Sabre counters with a FLATLINER! A High-Angle German is stuffed, Zack decked with an ALL OUT and a MIDDLE-ROPE SENTON BOMB! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!
Tana guns for the leg like he did Shibata, but a Feint Roundhouse into a Legsweep from ZSJ floors him! AND A NECK TWIST!!! With Hiroshi distracted by his neck, Sabre immediately switches for the legs, applying SUNDAY RAIL ENGINEERING WORKS REPLACEMENT BUS SERVICE!!! Tana’s quick to make the ropes, though has to physically pull himself to the apron when Sabre doesn’t release! No breather for him, Zack hooks his leg in the ropes and connects a DRAGON SCREW!
Tana receiving a taste of his own medicine, Sabre slides out and scores one directly on the apron, bashing Hiroshi’s leg into the hardest part of the ring! He attempts to Irish Whip Tanahashi into the ring post, but the Once in a Century Talent nails a SLING BLADE ON THE APRON! DRAGON SUPLEX TO THE FLOOR!!! Playing the starpower card, Tana poses with a grin as the cameras catch a shot of Sabre beneath him. He doesn’t notice Zack’s little twitches though, committing to a HIGH FLY FLOW TO THE OUTSIDE!!! A POSSUM SABRE PUSHES HIM MID-AIR ONTO THE BARRICADE!!!
As Tokyo gasps, it’s academic from Sabre as he threads Tana’s leg through a steel chair, PILMANISING IT!!! Evidence long discarded by the time the referee walks over, he wraps Hiroshi’s leg around the steel post, using it to apply a SASORI-GATAME!!! Tana lets out shouts of agony, Zack milking the suffering as Hiroshi begs the referee to get the challenger to stop. Eventually letting go, he forces Tanahashi to walk himself back into the spider’s web, a SPRINGBOARD ENZUIGIRI awaiting! BRIDGING NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!
Swivelling into a KNEEBAR now, he rolls around with Tana’s leg in his grasp, countering Hiroshi’s each attempts at escape, before going for the SELECTED TECHNICAL WORKS VOL. 2 combination, but Tana stacks his shoulders up! ONE! TWO! THR-NO LUCK! Forced to release to kick out, he scrambles to his feet to batter Hiroshi with a elbows, a DISCUS ELBOW SMASH staggering him, but a Pele Kick is caught, Tana nailing his own DRAGON SCREW!!!
A TWIST AND SHOUT follows, before Tana wraps on the DRAGON SWING! Wrenching on the neck, he makes a good few rotations before suddenly dropping to a knee, his leg unable to hold up for too long. Going for a DRAGON SUPLEX, it’s blocked by a barrage of back elbows, though Hiroshi nails the DARUMA-SHIKI GERMAN INSTEAD!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SABRE KICKS OUT! Nursing his neck, Sabre gets no reprieve as a HASE URANAGE spikes him, and a HIGH FLY ATTACK… IS CAUGHT IN AN ANKLE LOCK!!!
Tana rolls through but Sabre rolls with him, though he can’t get the grapevine, Tana booting him off with the other leg! TWIST AND SHOUT! Sabre subdued, a SLING BLADE takes him down, a HIGH FLY FLOW FOLLOWING SUIT!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Tana rushes for a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF, putting the hurt on Zack’s legs now! The Submission Master searches for escapes yet Hiroshi commits his everything to this move, not letting him free for the life of him! That is, until his own leg gives way! Grounded, he can’t stop a PENALTY KICK!!! AND A ZACK DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-TANA STAYS ALIVE!!!
Ragdolling Hiroshi with a pair of Double Underhook Suplexes, Zack puts Tana in a prone position to stomp the insides of the knees, before applying a CALF SLICER!!! Yet again, the Ace of the Universe is in trouble, his condition deteriorating with each submission. Knowing he needs to change that and fast… HE GRABS ZACK’S SKULL AND RAMS IT INTO THE MAT REPEATEDLY TO BREAK!!! Gears turning in his mind from Sabre’s tribute, HE GETS HIM UP FOR A STYLES CLASH!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SABRE SURVIVES!!!
Connecting a SLING BLADE, he dumps Zack with a DRAGON SUPLEX! ZACK RESPONDS WITH ONE OF HIS OWN! Open palm strikes from Tana light up Zack, only for him to wring out the arm for a PELE KICK!!! Sabre teases a Legsweep, but Hiroshi hops over this time and nails a GROUNDED HIGH FLY FLOW!!! Air driven out of ZSJ’s lungs, Tana hoists him up… AND NAILS A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! SHADES OF OKADA!!! The CHAOS Leader beating him like this both past Sakura Geneses, it’s going to happen again!
Scaling the ropes, Tana crashes down with a HIGH FLY FLOWWWWWWWWWW!!! But he’s not done! Wanting to make an example out of Sabre, he takes his time posing atop the world like the star he is… BUT IT ALLOWS ZACK TO RECOVER, GRABBING HIS LEG!!! Hammering the knee before Tana has a chance to respond, he yanks him off… RUNNING LIGER BOMB!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!!! STRAIGHT INTO CLARKY CAT BAD BALLOON REMIX!!! Folding Tana’s leg over his shoulder, he utterly destroys the geriatric knees over the champion, who wails in agony, doing anything he can to break free… BUT HE’S TOO FAR FROM THE ROPES!!! TANAHASHI TAPS OUT!!! THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM – ZSJ’S THE NEW KING OF NEW JAPAN!!!
Zack Sabre Jr. def. Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) to win the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (30:23)
Cutting Tanahashi’s reign brutally short, Sabre-Gun has claimed its spot on the throne! Raising up both his trophy and championship, he’s lifted onto TMDK’s shoulders, the three men flaunting their gold to the world as the remainder of the stable joins them! Tana shell-shocked, he hangs his head in shame and despair as he limps off, Ryogoku the first of many dark days for NJPW…
As the new monarch, Sabre’s first order of business is simple – kill off his counterpart. And by that he means the man who successfully defended the title against him last year, Will Ospreay. Though he may hold the title, jealousy courses through ZSJ’s veins knowing the Commonwealth Kingpin’s considered the company’s top gaijin despite Zack’s superior record over him. Wanting to change that, he calls out Ospreay, who’s fresh off dropping the NEVER 6-Man Titles to Just6Guys, having had quite the identity crisis since having the WK main event taken from him. Eager at the chance at a do-over, he accepts without hesitation.
Wrestling Hinokuni (April 27, 2024)
Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr. & TMDK) vs United Empire (Will Ospreay & Aussie Open)
Whilst Sabre and Ospreay have kept their distance since their Royal Quest match, the same can’t be said about the greater stables. World Tag League Winners TMDK taking Aussie Open’s IWGP Tag Team Championship at Wrestle Kingdom and United Empire successfully defending the NEVER Titles against Sabre-Gun at the Anniversary Show, this conclusion was only inevitable. Aussie Open also wanting a chance to get their titles back, they team with Ospreay here against the champion unit, the Commonwealth Nations going to war for supremacy.
Unlike Royal Quest, Sabre’s notably a lot surer of himself against Will here, no longer compensating by matching his striking game, rather trying to make Ospreay play his game instead. However, even with Zack being in his best possible form, SG falters against UE once more, the Coriolis to Mikey Nicholls setting the stage for Wrestling Dontaku! Zack grits his teeth as much like Tanahashi, Ospreay looks down on him.
United Empire def. Sabre-Gun (17:34)
Wrestling Dontaku (May 4, 2024)
Also on the show:
Ren Narita (c) vs Shota Umino - NEVER Openweight Championship
Taichi (c) vs Hiromu Takahashi - NJPW World Television Championship
YOH (c) vs Robbie Eagles - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
KENTA (c) vs PAC - IWGP United States Championship
TMDK (c) vs Aussie Open - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Will Ospreay XVII - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
A rivalry extending back an entire decade to the UK Indies, the spot for best British wrestler in the world has long been contested between these two. Back at it again, it’s time they settle the score once more. Ospreay strides out comfortably, having been in this position plenty of times by now as a potentially soon-to-be 3x World Champion, this his domain. As for Sabre, it’s his first time defending a title of this magnitude, pressure clearly weighing on his shoulders, but taking a deep breath, he prepares himself for victory just like TMDK earlier in the night.
As the bell rings… Ospreay explodes for a DROPKICK right away – shades of NJC 2021! Zack fishes the leg out the air and applies an ANKLE LOCK, LOOKING TO TAP HIM OUT WITHIN THE FIRST FEW SECONDS OF THE MATCH! Alarmed, Ospreay thrashes with kicks from his free leg to force Sabre off, rolling to the outside to recollect himself! Sabre doesn’t let him though, nailing a Baseball Slide Dropkick, before tossing him back in and wrangling the leg again!
A roll shakes him off, a HOOK KICK following, AND AN OSCUTTER! Sabre stops it though, countering with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Will rotates through to his feet and soars for a STANDING SHOOTING STAR PRESS, but again Zack dodges! BOW & ARROW ATTEMPT! Will flips into a cover, Zack kicking out instantly! Ospreay handsprings off the ropes, teasing his signature Enzuigiri, Sabre grasping the leg mid-air, but another follows, wrapping around his neck to twist through into a CROSS ARMBREAKER FROM WILL!
Sabre gets the monkey grip, preventing full extension, BUT WILL BITES THE FINGERS TO FORCE HIM OFF, now getting the full stretch, yelling at the referee to ask Zack if he submits! Sabre refuses however, rolling onto his stomach to turn the hold over and stand up, getting his legs around Will’s neck to score a NECK TWIST, getting him to release!
Zack knowing it to be a sore spot, he gets rallying with European Uppercuts to rock it like a bobblehead, before leaping into a GUILLOTINE CHOKE! Zack tightens his grip around Will’s neck, but a BUCKLE EXPLODER SUPLEX loosens it again as Sabre’s left dangling in a Tree of Woe! Ospreay sits cross-legged in front of him and SMASHES HIS NOSE WITH FOREARMS, busting a defenceless Zack open! Fish-hooking the nose, Will shakes his head about and lets crimson droplets paint the surroundings like a psychopathic Bob Ross, before letting go, cackling.
He heads to the top rope, but Zack meets him there, pulling himself up using his core strength and crotching Will on the neighbouring rope! The two face-to-face again, Zack sitting on the turnbuckle and Will on the rope, they trade forearms, blood continuing to leak down Sabre’s face, but he doesn’t care, INSTEAD GRABBING WILL’S LEG TO SUSPEND HIM UPSIDE-DOWN WITH A HANGING SUNDAY RAIL ENGINEERING WORKS REPLACEMENT BUS SERVICE!!!
Will’s in sheer agony as Sabre contorts his limb, but he’s saved by the referee’s count, Sabre forced to let go, Ospreay slumping to the apron. Zack turns to face the apron as he collects his wits and catches his breath, whilst Will nurses his leg, being checked on by the referee to make sure he’s good to continue, hopping to his base. Sabre settles down on the apron behind Will, grabbing him from behind, TESTING AN APRON TIGER SUPLEX!
Ospreay smashes the nose with a rear headbutt to ward him off! AND HE SPRINGS OFF ONE LEG TO DROP SABRE WITH AN APRON OSCUTTER, BOTH MEN SPILLING TO THE FLOOR!!! The referee starts their count as both lay still, no sign of movement as the 10 count nears. Reaching 12 now, they finally begin to stir, getting on all fours… 13… 14… 15… OSPREAY’S LEG GIVES OUT! 16… 17… 18… BOTH MEN MAKE ONE LAST PUSH, SABRE SHOVING HIMSELF INSIDE THE RING BY 19, WHILST OSPREAY PULLS HIMSELF UP ONTO THE APRON AND SPRINGS OFF ONE LEG ON THE ROPES FOR A PIP PIP CHEERIO!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!!!
Coming down hard on the leg though, Ospreay writhes in pain, but with Zack down, he pulls himself up with every last bit of energy he has up for STORM BREAKER… ZACK WITH AN OCTOPUS HOLD!!! Will immediately rams him into the turnbuckle until he lets up, Sabre instead sliding down his back like a bird hitting a window, OSPREAY COLLECTING HIM TO NAIL A HITODENASHI DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOO!!!
Will shouts in frustration, having jammed the leg on the landing. Feeling victory nigh though, he preps the HIDDEN BLADE!!! SABRE SPINS AROUND AND COUNTERS WITH A ZACK DRIVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NO DICE!!! PENTALTY KICK! ANOTHER COVER!!! ONE! TWO! THR-STILL NO LUCK!!! NOW A NUMERO DOS A LA DESPERADO!!! Ospreay screams as Sabre tears the leg in half, Will dancing around in search of reprieve, until a FRANKENSTEINER stands ZSJ on his dome! BRAINBUSTER FOLLOWS!
Sabre rocked, Ospreay cracks the CHELSEA GRIN against his neck, before connecting the HIDDEN BLADE!!! ONE! TWO! THR-ZACK’S STILL IN IT!!! Will’s leg is falling apart as he stumbles back into the corner to try for seconds, losing balance and collapsing before he can reach his target! EUROPEAN CLUTCH FROM ZACK!!! ONE! TWO! THR-OSPREAY SURVIVES!!! BUT A PENALTY KICK TO THE SKULL! AND STRAIGHT INTO ORIENTEERING WITH NAPALM DEATH!!! OSPREAY THRASHES LIKE A MADMAN, FEELING HIS LIGAMENTS ON THE VERGE OF TEARING… AND HE TAPS!!!
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) def. Will Ospreay to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (34:18)
One more for the bad guys. Commonwealth Kingpin at his mercy, Ospreay a mess as he scrambles off, Zack’s the new Top Gaijin in town. Raising his title high from the turnbuckles, he juices every last drop out his victory, this moment perfect to him… or not. OH MY GOD IT’S MINORU SUZUKI!!! Any bit of colour that remains on ZSJ’s pale face drains off as the King’s music rings through Fukuoka, but there’s no sign of the man- WAIT, SABRE’S SPUN AROUND! KICK TO THE GUT – GOTCH-STYLE PILEDRIVER!!! HE’S HERE!!! Placing a boot on Zack’s chest, Suzuki holds the World Title high over his former stablemate’s body!
The ending of Dontaku has Japan buzzing as they question the true motive of Suzuki’s attack, and after an extended silence, the King sets the record straight. 1 ½ years ago, Suzuki-Gun was dissolved, and ever since, Sabre’s been writing checks with his mouth that he can’t cash. He walks around with the World Title like he’s the reason he even received recognition in NJPW in the first place. Suzuki gave him a home beside him, and as rapidly as he elevated Sabre, he can take it all away from him just as fast. He’s getting old and is still missing the final piece to the Japanese Triple Crown, so he plans to take that from Zack.
Sabre doesn’t take too kindly to these words, letting his actions speak for himself as he ASSAULTS SUZUKI on a Road To Dontaku show! Bringing Sabre-Gun with him, they brutalise the legend, before Zack plants his group’s flag on Suzuki’s chest! Mocking him for having no allies the next night, declaring Suzuki’s era of relevance to be long gone… this plays. SUZUKI’S HERE, AND HE’S NOT ALONE! IT’S JUST6GUYS!!! Racing to the ring, the two factions erupt in a massive brawl, bodies flying left and right! Sabre tries for a quick getaway but he’s stopped by Minoru, who gives him a devilish snarl before clobbering him with forearms until Sabre-Gun’s sent packing through the crowd, Zack yelling expletives at Suzuki as he retreats!
Back to Yokohama Arena (May 16, 2024)
Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr., El Desperado & TMDK) vs Minoru Suzuki & Just3Guys (Taichi, Yoshinobu Kanemaru, DOUKI)
With Sabre-Gun and Just6Guys feuding ever since their respective formations, switching between silent competitive warfare of racking up belts to fighting each other, notably the Sabre/Taichi saga, it all fully comes to a head in Suzuki’s home of Yokohama! With full freedom to destroy each other however they please, the two factions don’t hold back one bit, with Suzuki especially targeting ZSJ. He’s unable to give him grief the way he wishes to though, Zack tactfully hiding behind his partners until he can blindside Minoru, before scramming again. Ultimately, it’s Minoru putting Desperado away with the GOTCH PILEDRIVER, before signalling to Sabre that time’s running out for him, Suzuki to get his hands on him too soon enough!
Minoru Suzuki & J6G def. Sabre-Gun (15:03)
As much as Sabre tries to deny it, that day only speeds closer with each accusation of cowardice against the prideful champion’s name, the world questioning whether he’s afraid of Suzuki. Adamant to silence his doubters, he finally accepts Suzuki’s title challenge, setting the stage for Dominion, though promising he won’t have a career to go back to when Sabre’s done with him!
Dominion 6.2 (June 2, 2024)
Also on the show:
YOH (c) vs SHO - IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship
Just2Guys (c) vs Sabre-Gun (Blake Christian & Clark Connors) - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
TMDK (c) vs The Lucha Brothers - IWGP Tag Team Championship
PAC (c) vs Katsuyori Shibata - IWGP United States Championship
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Minoru Suzuki - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
With Sabre-Gun beating Just6Guys earlier in the night, this war’s already at its boiling point by the time the main event arrives, Suzuki opting to enter second as Zack steps out- CRACK! STEEL CHAIR TO SABRE’S SPINE!!! Suzuki isn’t wasting even a second here, tearing the jacket off Sabre’s back before bending the steel over his spine! The Windy Man desperately tries to crawl away to the ring, but Suzuki steps on his ankle to stop him! Turning him around to meet his maker, MINORU GOES FOR A GOTCH PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAIR!!! LOW BLOW FROM SABRE TO COUNTER!!!
Suzuki drops to his knees as Osaka boos the smarmy champion, ZSJ now battering the King’s back, before finally sliding him in to get the match started! PENALTY KICK RIGHT AWAY!!! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT!!! Sabre wrenches in a CLARKY CAT, working the arm as Suzuki writhes under him, but it’s not long before Minoru stands up out of it, hurling ZSJ to the mat! Booting him in the jaw, Suzuki backs him into the corner and tears into him with open palm strikes! He winds up a CORNER DROPKICK, but Sabre evades, blasting him with a rapid barrage of European Uppercuts against the turnbuckle!
Zack taking the run-up now, Suzuki bucks him over the ropes to the apron, SABRE BLASTING A THUMB IN HIS EYE! Minoru blinded, Zack leaps up for a SPRINGBOARD ENZUIGIRI- SUZUKI BLOCKS WITH A WILD SLAP TO THE CHEEK!!! Sabre stiffed, Suzuki applies a HANGING JUJI-GATAME FROM THE ROPES!!! Zack screams in agony as Minoru damn near rips his arm out the socket, the referee’s count the only thing keeping him from going!
Releasing, Sabre crumples to the floor, getting as far as he possibly can from Suzuki, though he’s not fast enough, Suzuki nailing a GOAL KICK to his skull from the apron! Grabbing Sabre, he HURLS him into the guardrail with it shoulder-first, the velocity sending Zack through! As he goes to collect his prey though, SABRE TOSSES A CHAIR AT HIS SKULL!!! Threading Suzuki’s arm through it, SABRE STOMPS THE ELBOW!!! AND AN ARTICLE 50!!!
Sabre abuses the legend, but he forgets about the other arm, Suzuki slapping his head in with it until Zack releases! Shaking off the arm, a BACK BODY DROP sends Sabre crashing back to ringside, Minoru following after him as ZSJ slinks inside the ring. Zack beats him to his feet though, stomping a hole through the mat with Suzuki’s skull, dribbling it! He cracks a ROLLING ELBOW off the skull, but Minoru walks through it, glaring at Sabre! Throwing an elbow of his own, it gets caught, Zack scoring the PELE KICK to the arm!
AND A KIMURA LOCK!!! Sabre brutally rips at the arm, bringing Suzuki to his knees from the pain even, but Minoru pins his shoulders to the mat! ONE! TWO! THR-SABRE RELEASES TO KICK OUT! As Zack rolls to his feet, a SHOTGUN DROPKICK awaits him! Suzuki clobbers him with slaps to the face, Sabre seeing stars as one knocks him clean off his feet! Turning to the turnbuckle… SUZUKI RIPS IT OFF!!! Steel exposed, he teases a SNAP SUPLEX INTO THE CORNER!!! SABRE COUNTERS WITH A BRAINBUSTER ON THE MAT!!! GUILLOTINE CHOKE!!!
Draining the life out of Suzuki, Sabre presses on the carotid artery, Minoru is deep trouble! BUT NOW THE KING BITES ON ZSJ’S FINGERS!!! Zack yelps and releases, allowing Suzuki to secure his wrists and STOMP HIS HEAD IN!!! Sabre catches a boot and applies SUNDAY RAIL ENGINEERING WORKS REPLACEMENT BUS SERVICE!!! ZSJ tortures Suzuki’s leg, though in doing so leaves his arm exposed, Minoru yanking off his grip and countering into HIS OWN HEEL HOOK!!!
Sabre desperately tries the same counter, but Suzuki’s grip is too tight to break, forcing Zack to roll to the ropes! SUZUKI ISN’T LETTING GO! Crawling on his hands, Sabre pulls himself to the floor and WHIPLASHES MINORU’S NECK OFF THE BOTTOM ROPE!!! Staggering about ringside on one foot, he grabs his title and rolls back in! Suzuki struggling up, Sabre tries to deck him with the belt… but the referee grabs it from behind! A tug-of-war ends in SUZUKI KNOCKING THE BELT INTO THE REF WITH AN ENZUIGIRI!
Both men hitting the deck, Minoru rocks ZSJ with a Dropkick! GOTCH PILEDRIVER ONTO THE TITLE!!! But there’s no one to count! Pissed, Suzuki limps out and abuses a couple young lions, before picking one out the crowd to toss in the ring, ripping the referee’s shirt off and telling the lion to put it on! SUZUKI COVERS! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Even more livid, HE DECKS THIS LION TOO! Turning back to Zack, he notices the champion feebly reaching for the belt! Kicking it out the ring, Suzuki goes for another GOTCH PILEDRIVER!!! BACK BODY DROP COUNTER!!!
Still hurting, Sabre struggles to get a rally of strikes going, Suzuki meeting him blow for blow! BUT SABRE WHIPS THE SHOULDER INTO THE MAT! Minoru stunned, sadistic thoughts run through Sabre’s mind… TIGER SUPLEX INTO THE EXPOSED STEEL!!! AND A RUNNING LIGER BOMB – ONE OF SUZUKI’S RIVALS MOVES!!! THE REFEREE’S BACK TO CONSCIOUSNESS! NOT LIKE THIS! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Sabre’s exasperated, thinking he had it! Running out of options, he teases a ZACK DRIVER, but Suzuki slips behind and applies the SLEEPER HOLD!!! Sabre’s quickly fading, frantically trying to tear the bad arm off, but Minoru doesn’t budge, shoving ZSJ to the mat for the PENALTY KICK!!! ONE! TWO! THR-ZACK KICKS OUT!!! Suzuki grabs Sabre by the chin, demanding him to strike Minoru if he thinks he’s so tough, ZSJ doing his best, but Suzuki eats it and returns a HARD SLAP! SLEEPER SUPLEX!!!
Tossing Sabre to the apron, Minoru steps onto the middle rope and cinches in an ELEVATED SLEEPER!!! Zack dangles in the air, unable to find his footing to escape, Suzuki lifting him higher and higher! Blood rushing to his legs, he needs to act fast, attacking the elbow again until the hold is finally slightly loosened! Leaning forwards, he pulls Suzuki his direction, allowing him to lower his feet onto the apron… YANKING SUZUKI INTO AN APRON ZACK DRIVER!!!
Sabre coughs up a lung as he kicks Minoru’s corpse back in, before lining up a PENALTY KICK!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SUZUKI’S ALIVE!!! Zack’s stunned as he comes face-to-face with Suzuki’s sneer, Minoru still having enough in him to throw slaps! Sabre returning Uppercuts, they go blow-for-blow until Zack collapses first, though he’s playing possum, HEADBUTTING THE SHOULDER as the King tries to grab him! He goes for YOU CAN’T PLAY CONKERS IN ENGLAND, though he’s immediately tossed down, SUZUKI NAILING A PENALTY KICK!!!
Winding up, Minoru goes for one more… ZACK SLAPS HIS HEAD OFF HIS SHOULDERS!!! Putting the head between his legs, HE NAILS A GOTCH PILEDRIVER!!! Suzuki collapses in position for a PENALTY KICK!!! AND NOW SABRE CINCHES IT IN – HURRAH! ANOTHER YEAR, SURELY THIS ONE WILL BE BETTER THAN THE LAST; THE INEXORABLE MARCH OF PROGRESS WILL LEAD US ALL TO HAPPINESS!!! Suzuki grits his teeth, trying to fight through it, Sabre keeping his eyes on his hands to see the tap… NOWHERE TO GO, MINORU FLIPS HIM OFF WITH BOTH HANDS AND VERBALLY SUBMITS!!!
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) def. Minoru Suzuki to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (32:50)
Surviving one of the toughest matches of his career, Zack’s kingdom still lives, though barely. As he’s handed his title though, he chucks it aside, this about far more than the gold to him! SABRE STOMPS OUT SUZUKI!!! Signalling to the back, out rush Sabre-Gun, coming to Sabre’s aid to conduct a mugging on the legend! SUDDEN DEATH FROM ELP! PINCHE LOCO FROM DESPERADO! THUNDER VALLEY FROM TMDK! TANDEM JEEP FLIP/DROPKICK FROM BLAKE, CONNORS AND FUJITA! And now, it's Zack’s turn. Dragging him to the concrete… HE’S GOING FOR THE GOTCH PILEDRIVER!!! HE WANTS TO RETIRE SUZUKI FOR GOOD!!!
BUT HERE COMES J6G!!! AND LANCE ARCHER TOO!!! Sabre tosses Suzuki aside to deal with the oncoming traffic, Taichi and co. putting up an honourable fight, but they’re still down a man, Sabre-Gun managing to retain their upper-hand, until… OH MY GOD, IT’S SUZUKI’S OLD TAG PARTNER NAOMICHI MARUFUJI!!! Sabre can’t even get a curse out before a KO-OH SMACKS HIM IN THE FACE!!! Marufuji beats on Zack to turn the tide, going for the POLE SHIFT, but Sabre manages to escape in the nick of time, Sabre-Gun once again sent on the retreat, the show closing on Marufuji helping Suzuki up!
NJPW/AJPW/NOAH All Together Again (June 7, 2024)
Zack Sabre Jr. vs Naomichi Marufuji
After the events of Dominion, it’s only natural these two fight, long, long overdue a one-on-one since their NOAH days together! Fighting in Suzuki’s honour, Marufuji steps to the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion and it’s like 2016 all over again the way he utterly humbles Sabre to start like he’s facing Okada! A match of two halves, it goes from Naomichi giving ZSJ the biggest whooping of his life to Sabre brutally breaking down the legend, reminding him he’s 8 years too old to still be winning these sorts of matches. Though Maru gives Zack grief one more than one occasion, he meets his demise at the hands of a CREMATION LILY, Sabre spitting on Naomichi as he leaves, declaring himself untouchable!
Zack Sabre Jr. def. Naomichi Marufuji (25:37)
With his war on J6G and friends officially behind him, Sabre sets his sights on a show he has quite some history with. Losing to Claudio Castagnoli at the first Forbidden Door, before beating Katsuyori Shibata at the second to take both the NJPW TV and ROH Pure Titles to ALL IN to submit Danielson, there’s naturally only one direction for him to head…
Dynamite (June 12, 2024)
Racking another AEW International Championship defence under his belt, Wheeler YUTA is on top of the world, and as he’s approached by Tony Schiavone for a post-match comment… WHACK! IWGP WORLD TITLE TO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!!! SABRE-GUN’S HERE!!! Mugging Blackpool Combat Club’s young gun like they did Suzuki, a SABRE DRIVER leaves him broken on the mat as Zack yells down the camera that he wants Moxley’s head at Forbidden Door, scurrying away before BCC can make the save!
Collision (June 15, 2024)
Zack Sabre Jr. vs Wheeler YUTA
Off the back of Sabre’s assault on YUTA, a match is made between the two technically-gifted champions in a massive Collision main event! Though ZSJ’s far out his paygrade, an arrogant Wheeler does his best to knock off the Technical Wizard, impressing with a display of submissions he’s picked up from Danielson, before employing some of Claudio’s marquee athleticism and Mox’s grittiness. Never a fair match to begin with though, a TESCO MEAL DEAL cruelly silences YUTA!
Zack Sabre Jr. def. Wheeler YUTA (10:12)
Grabbing a mic, Zack runs down Moxley, reminding him how they were supposed to fight 4 years ago until the pandemic ruined that, Jon ducking him ever since. Now though, he’s the last member of BCC he needs to get through before he can shut up those babies too, so all he needs to know is if Jon is still afraid of him or not. And as Sabre awaits his response… HE RECEIVES IT IN THE FORM OF A PARADIGM SHIFT!!! Mox holds Zack’s title over his body, gaining some retribution for YUTA!
AEWxNJPW Forbidden Door (June 23, 2024)
Also on the show:
The Lucha Brothers (c) vs La Faccion Ingobernable (RUSH & Dralistico) - IWGP Tag Team Championship
PAC (c) vs Swerve Strickland - IWGP United States Championship
Tetsuya Naito vs Andrade El Idolo
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Jon Moxley - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
The final showdown of a lengthy saga, Sabre makes his third defence against New Japan’s Ace, and it’s quite literally a bloody clinic, Mox showing zero fear in the face of the Top Gaijin, who looks to plant his flag over another territory. From a Paradigm Shift to the floor to a Zack Driver through a table, both men are busted open by the surroundings, the blood loss only helping Sabre’s case when he locks in the HYPERNORMALISATION, causing Mox to pass out! Alas, ZSJ stands atop BCC, but perhaps a more personal challenge yet awaits him…
Zack Sabre Jr. (c) def. Jon Moxley to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (23:20)
2023.05.27 16:46 opayatta This car with blinds in the back window.
 | submitted by opayatta to mildlyinteresting [link] [comments] |
2023.05.26 23:04 ApartmentSolid7385 Domestic vs foreign
I'm brand new to car sales I'm starting my first job as a salesman next month it's my first sales job I'm 20M. Why dose everyone say it's easiebetter to sell domestic rather than foreign? Also dose this apply to low end foreign cars like kia's and nissan's as well or just higher end cars? The dealership I'm starting at sells dodge, jeep, ram, and Chrysler.
submitted by ApartmentSolid7385 to CarSalesTraining [link] [comments]
2023.05.26 22:37 beenburnedbefore Diesel high pressure fuel pump recall
 | My JT has 7,000 miles on the clock with no issues, so far. Anyone here have a failure? At what mileage? submitted by beenburnedbefore to JeepGladiator [link] [comments] |
2023.05.25 21:29 Western_Ear_948 65k miles on it what you guys think
 | submitted by Western_Ear_948 to civic [link] [comments] |
2023.05.24 15:14 dreaminphp My Viper was lonely, so I bought it a TRX
Mopar tax: https://imgur.com/021G2x7
I've had a long winded love/hate (mostly love) relationship with ChrysleDodge. My first car was a Concorde, which I absolutely loathed. Truly a terrible car. My second and third cars were a Dakota and a Ram 1500, respectively, which I loved both to pieces. Unfortunately my Dakota met its demise when the engine seized and I sold the Ram to pay for my wedding. I then bought a 2001 Grand Cherokee, which was honestly one of the worst cars I've ever owned, but it fit in nicely with my wife's 98 Grand Cherokee back then.
After those adventures with those cars, I've been a 100% strict Toyota fan, aside from straying away for 6 months to buy a Raptor which I despised, and then of course when I bought my Viper last summer.
I test drove a TRX around Christmas time last year just for fun, but I haven't been able to get my mind off of it since then. A dealer near me had a lightly used 2022 for a "fair" price, so here I am!
It truly is amazing how quick this truck is. When you put down the power, you totally forget that you're in an almost 7k lb truck. Not to mention, it's amazing how quiet the cabin is compared to how loud the exhaust is!
I've owned it for about 13 hours now and someone has already gotten a speeding ticket in it :-)
submitted by dreaminphp to cars [link] [comments]
I've had a long winded love/hate (mostly love) relationship with ChrysleDodge. My first car was a Concorde, which I absolutely loathed. Truly a terrible car. My second and third cars were a Dakota and a Ram 1500, respectively, which I loved both to pieces. Unfortunately my Dakota met its demise when the engine seized and I sold the Ram to pay for my wedding. I then bought a 2001 Grand Cherokee, which was honestly one of the worst cars I've ever owned, but it fit in nicely with my wife's 98 Grand Cherokee back then.
After those adventures with those cars, I've been a 100% strict Toyota fan, aside from straying away for 6 months to buy a Raptor which I despised, and then of course when I bought my Viper last summer.
I test drove a TRX around Christmas time last year just for fun, but I haven't been able to get my mind off of it since then. A dealer near me had a lightly used 2022 for a "fair" price, so here I am!
It truly is amazing how quick this truck is. When you put down the power, you totally forget that you're in an almost 7k lb truck. Not to mention, it's amazing how quiet the cabin is compared to how loud the exhaust is!
I've owned it for about 13 hours now and someone has already gotten a speeding ticket in it :-)
2023.05.23 21:46 Revolutionary-Fee636 Is this a good deal?
 | I been looking at 4xe I was thinking of trading in my 2 door sport V6. By my rough estimates I'll probably roll over 5 grand from my sport to this this. What do you guys think. Thanks submitted by Revolutionary-Fee636 to Jeep [link] [comments] |
2023.05.23 20:15 macetfromage Nr of used cars for sale in sweden with more than ~18500 miles/300k km
 | submitted by macetfromage to Cartalk [link] [comments] |
2023.05.23 02:49 FewPen5497 Good links
Eliyahna.com offers web design, hosting, and SEO. Eliyahna.com offers professional web design, web development, applications, search engine optimization, and advertising strategies that are what we live and breathe every single day. They work with well-established businesses and startups alike to reach their goals both on and offline. AskMoshe.com offers biblical answers from the seat of Moses.
Airport Chrysler Dodge Jeep RAM
From the day we opened our doors, Airport Chrysler Dodge Jeep RAM has had one priority: you.
https://www.cabledahmercadillac.com/ Cable Dahmer Cadillac of Kansas City provides a wide selection of new and used vehicles. They offer sales but also assure brilliant after-sales services for your vehicle.2023.05.23 01:12 CrenshawMafia21 2018 BMW 430i or 2019 Ford Mustang EcoBoost
Mustang: $26,282
MPG:31 Mileage: 39,744 Miles Engine: 2.3 L Model Code: P8T
BMW: $27,877
Mileage: 36421 Engine: 2.0L Turbocharged Exterior Color: BLACK Transmission: Automatic
Skeptical to buy BMW because of the stereotypes on Beamers and their reliability but seems to be a solid deal. Trading in a jeep and should be getting around $20k from the dealership. Seems like these are my best 2 options, any advice? Second time buying a vehicle
submitted by CrenshawMafia21 to whatcarshouldIbuy [link] [comments]
MPG:31 Mileage: 39,744 Miles Engine: 2.3 L Model Code: P8T
BMW: $27,877
Mileage: 36421 Engine: 2.0L Turbocharged Exterior Color: BLACK Transmission: Automatic
Skeptical to buy BMW because of the stereotypes on Beamers and their reliability but seems to be a solid deal. Trading in a jeep and should be getting around $20k from the dealership. Seems like these are my best 2 options, any advice? Second time buying a vehicle
2023.05.23 00:12 WalkTypical3846 You can often gauge what an area is like by looking at the cars on its streets
I've noticed this trend throughout North American cities. Most wealthy, liberal, and highly educated areas like Cambridge, MA, Ann Arbor, MI, Northern Virginia/Washington DC, the San Francisco Bay area, Vermont, Seattle, Boulder, CO, tend to drive mainly foreign makes, with Subaru, Volkswagen, Volvo, Mazda, and Toyota being particularly overrepresented. On the other hand, pooremore working class areas primarily drive domestic cars, with a the occasional Korean car. This is even excluding rural areas where domestic pickups may be needed for work. For example, working class neighborhoods of Miami, Los Angeles, Phoenix, or Chicago are filled with Chevy, Dodges, and Fords. The purchase price of the cars also don't seem to have any affect, as you'll be more likely to see more Chevy Equinoxes in the inner city of Chicago vs more Toyota Rav4s in Evanston (a wealthy area of the city). In fact, many import car brands like Hyundai, Kia, Mitsubishi, Honda, and Mazda even have lower average transaction prices than domestic cars like GMC, Ford, or Ram, so there must be other reasons. I also do realize that many of my college educated friends will choose more sensible cars, which are often foreign makes (like Priuses, Honda Fits, Subaru Imprezas, BMW 3 series, Mazda Cx-5, VW Golf), while friends who are less educated choose Chargers, Tahoe, Large pickup trucks, Chrysler 300s). One good example is to compare the parking lot of a UPS facility vs the parking lot of an elementary school. Both workers are similarly paid, but the types of cars you find will be very different.
submitted by WalkTypical3846 to whatcarshouldIbuy [link] [comments]
2023.05.22 16:05 shinresux Reid gegen Cecilus
Lol, ich muss sagen, nachdem ich Leute gesehen habe die meinten das Cecilus stärker ist als Reid, musste ich mir einfach nur an die Stirn fassen.
Cecilus ist mit einer der Stärksten Charaktere in Re:Zero. Bekannt ist er für sein Charakter in Kombination mit seiner Geschwindigkeit und sein Umgang mit dem Schwert. Und das wars auch im großen und Ganzen. Keine Segen, Keine Besonderen Magischen Fähigkeiten. (genauere Details kann man einfach nach Lesen).
Reid ist bekannt als der beste Schwertkämpfer(seine Schwertkunst übertrifft selbst die von Reinhard)/als Held der mit bei der Versieglung von Neid mit geholfen hat und als jemand der früher die ganzen Bösen Drachen ausgerotten hat. Um es einfach zu sagen: es gibt kein besser sein als Reid im Schwertkampf. Er hat den Titel Heavenly Sword bekommen und den Punkt erreicht an dem es egel ist, ob er mit seinem/einem Schwert kämpft oder mit Essstäbchen oder was auch sonst. Reid´s fähigkeiten sind es Tritte und Schläge die er abbekommt zu negieren. Er kann einen unbekannten Schwertschlag (der auch mit seinen Essstäbchen und sonst welchen gegenständen bei ihm geht) ausführen, dieser schlag schneidet alles, sei es Licht, Raum, Zeit, Dimensionen, Autoritäten oder auch Konzepte. Er wird es einfach schneiden. Selbst ein ganz normaler Schwerthieb von ihm ist so mächtig, dass es einfach unverständlich ist, wie ein normaler Schwerthieb so Stark sein kann. Reid`s fähigkeiten haben bei weitem das Norm überschritten. Da lag Ram garnicht mal so daneben ihn ein Monster zu nennen haha. (genauere Details kann man einfach nach Lesen).
Ich sehe halt nicht mal ansatzweise wie Cecilus Reid besiegen soll. Cecilus ist sehr schnell, ich weiß. Wenn er ernst macht, kann er auch schneller als ein Blitz sein. Aber das ist vollkommen sinnlos. Beim ersten Treffen mit Reid im Pleiades Watchtower hatte Julius Reid angegriffen. Und das ging voll nach Hinten los. Nach paar Sekunden fing Reid an, Julius komplett fertig zu machen. Das konnte Foxidna nicht weiter mit ansehen und hat sich in den Kampf mit eingemischt und hat Jiwald auf ihn geschossen, eine Fähigkeit die sich mit Lichtgeschwindigkeit bewegt. Und diese Fähigkeit konnte Reid mit leichten schneiden. Und um das zu Toppen, hat er das gemacht währenddessen er Julius fertig machte. Um das getoppte noch mal zu Toppen, hat Foxidna jiwald mehr mals auf Reid geschossen währenddessen er Julius fertig machte. Und um das getoppte was von Reid getoppt wurde nochmal zu Toppen, Reid hat mit denen gespielt, er hat nicht mal ernst gemacht.
Es ist halt einfach ein Witz, zusagen das Cecilus gewinnen würde.
Hier nochmal eine kleine Szene, an der Reid gegen Julius und Foxidna kämpft.
???: “Jiwald――!!”
A ray of heat shot across the air, aimed towards the engaged duo.
White light, in its most simple form, can rip through the world with its dreadful edge. In other words, it can become an invisible blade that tears, cuts and burns through everything in its path.
It went straight, and was as such, easy to dodge―― However, the shimmering rays travelled at the speed of light, crashing straight into its target.
Even so, the『Stick Swinger』cut away the rays of light fired by the third party with ease――,
Man: “――My sword can cut even light, you.”
Faster than his own gruff voice’s echo, the chopsticks struck and sliced through the ray of light.
An impossible spectacle that pulled in the attention of everyone present. Only the man sneered, as if he had done something ordinary, and continued jabbing at Julius with his free hand.
As if making light of him―― No, the truth was, he indeed was making very light of him.
???: “――tch! Jiwaaaaaald――!!”
In response to that, his eyes turned red, overlapping with the chant――.
With both arms spread wide, chanting for the magic that shot rays of heat, her graceful composure painted with panic, was Anastasia. Hands open, all fingers poised―― Ten fingers in total shot out ten Death Rays simultaneously, all danced in the air as they approached the『Stick Swinger』.
――And the『Stick Swinger』himself took just as an amazing measure.
Man: “Kah!”
The『Stick Swinger』faced the dancing beams head on and sliced through them with his chopsticks just like before, then he pounced up by kicking off of thin air and made a nosedive―― Taking Julius, who was right below, along with him, dragging him across the white floor as he ran, Julius was pinned by the chopsticks in his solar plexus.
Man: “Kakakakakah! Aim well, you. Can’t even swat a fly like that. They don’t call me a lady-killer for nothin’, you. Kakakakah!”
Anastasia: “Jiwald! Jiwald! Jiwaaald――!”
Anastasia still chose to continue her attacks against the cackling man. Unfortunately, regardless of its firepower, if the magic does not hit, it has no meaning.
Even with her firing them all over, the man simply cut through, at times ducked, and at times made a sharp spin by putting his weight on Julius.
submitted by shinresux to Re_0 [link] [comments]
Cecilus ist mit einer der Stärksten Charaktere in Re:Zero. Bekannt ist er für sein Charakter in Kombination mit seiner Geschwindigkeit und sein Umgang mit dem Schwert. Und das wars auch im großen und Ganzen. Keine Segen, Keine Besonderen Magischen Fähigkeiten. (genauere Details kann man einfach nach Lesen).
Reid ist bekannt als der beste Schwertkämpfer(seine Schwertkunst übertrifft selbst die von Reinhard)/als Held der mit bei der Versieglung von Neid mit geholfen hat und als jemand der früher die ganzen Bösen Drachen ausgerotten hat. Um es einfach zu sagen: es gibt kein besser sein als Reid im Schwertkampf. Er hat den Titel Heavenly Sword bekommen und den Punkt erreicht an dem es egel ist, ob er mit seinem/einem Schwert kämpft oder mit Essstäbchen oder was auch sonst. Reid´s fähigkeiten sind es Tritte und Schläge die er abbekommt zu negieren. Er kann einen unbekannten Schwertschlag (der auch mit seinen Essstäbchen und sonst welchen gegenständen bei ihm geht) ausführen, dieser schlag schneidet alles, sei es Licht, Raum, Zeit, Dimensionen, Autoritäten oder auch Konzepte. Er wird es einfach schneiden. Selbst ein ganz normaler Schwerthieb von ihm ist so mächtig, dass es einfach unverständlich ist, wie ein normaler Schwerthieb so Stark sein kann. Reid`s fähigkeiten haben bei weitem das Norm überschritten. Da lag Ram garnicht mal so daneben ihn ein Monster zu nennen haha. (genauere Details kann man einfach nach Lesen).
Ich sehe halt nicht mal ansatzweise wie Cecilus Reid besiegen soll. Cecilus ist sehr schnell, ich weiß. Wenn er ernst macht, kann er auch schneller als ein Blitz sein. Aber das ist vollkommen sinnlos. Beim ersten Treffen mit Reid im Pleiades Watchtower hatte Julius Reid angegriffen. Und das ging voll nach Hinten los. Nach paar Sekunden fing Reid an, Julius komplett fertig zu machen. Das konnte Foxidna nicht weiter mit ansehen und hat sich in den Kampf mit eingemischt und hat Jiwald auf ihn geschossen, eine Fähigkeit die sich mit Lichtgeschwindigkeit bewegt. Und diese Fähigkeit konnte Reid mit leichten schneiden. Und um das zu Toppen, hat er das gemacht währenddessen er Julius fertig machte. Um das getoppte noch mal zu Toppen, hat Foxidna jiwald mehr mals auf Reid geschossen währenddessen er Julius fertig machte. Und um das getoppte was von Reid getoppt wurde nochmal zu Toppen, Reid hat mit denen gespielt, er hat nicht mal ernst gemacht.
Es ist halt einfach ein Witz, zusagen das Cecilus gewinnen würde.
Hier nochmal eine kleine Szene, an der Reid gegen Julius und Foxidna kämpft.
???: “Jiwald――!!”
A ray of heat shot across the air, aimed towards the engaged duo.
White light, in its most simple form, can rip through the world with its dreadful edge. In other words, it can become an invisible blade that tears, cuts and burns through everything in its path.
It went straight, and was as such, easy to dodge―― However, the shimmering rays travelled at the speed of light, crashing straight into its target.
Even so, the『Stick Swinger』cut away the rays of light fired by the third party with ease――,
Man: “――My sword can cut even light, you.”
Faster than his own gruff voice’s echo, the chopsticks struck and sliced through the ray of light.
An impossible spectacle that pulled in the attention of everyone present. Only the man sneered, as if he had done something ordinary, and continued jabbing at Julius with his free hand.
As if making light of him―― No, the truth was, he indeed was making very light of him.
???: “――tch! Jiwaaaaaald――!!”
In response to that, his eyes turned red, overlapping with the chant――.
With both arms spread wide, chanting for the magic that shot rays of heat, her graceful composure painted with panic, was Anastasia. Hands open, all fingers poised―― Ten fingers in total shot out ten Death Rays simultaneously, all danced in the air as they approached the『Stick Swinger』.
――And the『Stick Swinger』himself took just as an amazing measure.
Man: “Kah!”
The『Stick Swinger』faced the dancing beams head on and sliced through them with his chopsticks just like before, then he pounced up by kicking off of thin air and made a nosedive―― Taking Julius, who was right below, along with him, dragging him across the white floor as he ran, Julius was pinned by the chopsticks in his solar plexus.
Man: “Kakakakakah! Aim well, you. Can’t even swat a fly like that. They don’t call me a lady-killer for nothin’, you. Kakakakah!”
Anastasia: “Jiwald! Jiwald! Jiwaaald――!”
Anastasia still chose to continue her attacks against the cackling man. Unfortunately, regardless of its firepower, if the magic does not hit, it has no meaning.
Even with her firing them all over, the man simply cut through, at times ducked, and at times made a sharp spin by putting his weight on Julius.
2023.05.22 11:07 eobdtoolck Autel MS908S Pro II User Guide
 | In this post, you will learn the user guide of Autel MaxiSys MS908S Pro II incl. registration, menu functions instruction, and report cloud sharing. submitted by eobdtoolck to u/eobdtoolck [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/sd5yr76bmc1b1.jpg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d60a9df1e18c672ca33ad748cd69ed2ea70730e7 PART ONE: How to register Autel MS908S Pro II? Boot MS908S Pro II diagnostic scanner Select the language you desire Connect with WiFi Select GMT (Greenwich Mean Time GMT) https://preview.redd.it/27t3xm3cmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=546f76408611f4bd8e66eff15da71319b197e55a Detect the new version and upgrade Make sure network connection is normal Accept the end user license agreement Enter “Autel User Center” function Tap “Register” https://preview.redd.it/uahew1zcmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3322aa1d1aed4661bf671b0eb5ff445294d0eaae Fill in all personal info required (user name, country, province, city, phone number, SMS Verification code, and password) Click “Register” and wait the registration process is successful. https://preview.redd.it/zadvijpfmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e3c8650210ab3c2365b9017a0c4a3b7942a9f4e7 PART TWO: Autel MS908S Pro II Menu Function Instruction Connect Maxisys MS908S Pro II and J2534 ECU Programmer via the USB cable And connect J2534 ECU programming device to the vehicle’s OBD port via the main cable https://preview.redd.it/yzg3bfigmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=283620f9068702dbed8ba675aa44eaef735fdd3b Enter MS908S Pro II tablet Main functions incl. Diagnostics, Service, ADAS, Data Manager, Settings, VCI Manager, Support, Update, OEM Authorization, Battery Test, Remote Desktop, Quick Link, Demonstration, User Feedback, MaxiViewer, MaxiVideo, MaxiScope, MaxiTools, and Autel User Center.
For European: Bentley, Chevrolet, Abarth, Aston Martin, MINI, Sprinster, Citroen, Fiat, Lancia, Maserati, Opel, Porsche, SAAB, Vauxhall, Seat, Bugatti, Audi, Seat, Skoda, VW, BMW, Mini, Alfa, Mercedes-Benz, Maybach, Ferrari, Jaguar, Land Rover, Peugeot, Renault, Smart, Volvo, Lamborghini, Bentley, Rolls-Royce, VW CV, Dacia, LT3, McLaren, DS, Iveco LD, Man LD, FordEU, Borgward... For USA: Chrysler, Dodge, Ford, GM, JEEP, Tesla For Asian: Acura, Daihatsu, Hyundai, Infiniti, Kia, Mazda, Nissan, Scion, Subaru, Toyota, Mahindra, Proton, Daewoo, Honda, HyundaiCV, Isuzu, Lexus, Mitsubishi, Samsung, Ssang Yong, Suzuki, Fuso, Perodua, Tata, Hino, Maruti Suzuki, Chery, BAICMotor, BAICSenova, Greatwall, JAC, Brilliance, ZOTYE, DFSK, DFFG, Lifan, LDV, MAXUS... How to diagnose vehicle with MS908S Pro II? Select one car supported and accept the disclaimer https://preview.redd.it/bgyi2sbhmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3404f057655fde8b3d9229e248db2ebf41a52be9 Select test type>> Automatic selection>> read VIN automatically>> select vehicle information >> Auto scan https://preview.redd.it/zafshk4imc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=caf170e9d49d36c4d4b8bc3afad28491d20a880a https://preview.redd.it/n9rl0p4imc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b3054adbf299199024a2a7e233756a589a6887a9 Scan the faults successfully https://preview.redd.it/cexdiz1jmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f61404342136a1fdb39d07b3adb4270868a579b1 Enter system, and you can see function menu incl. ECU information, Trouble codes, Live data, Active test, Control unit adaptation, Special functions, and Programming. https://preview.redd.it/lxe7x7yjmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab8e70ed54ab5ba11c4c252950028008eb126b5e Active test https://preview.redd.it/p5kpyntkmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=648c669c631d4d1edff1174d05194a1341b4c78e Special functions (incl. variant coding) https://preview.redd.it/rzrcfwilmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e6a70a97897687e7edbbd3e39be8eb245afc033d Trouble codes https://preview.redd.it/pun9kt4mmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af81cb911e8a9329d380945843e2243e0aa2f2a1
Oil Reset, EPB, TPMS Sensor Activate, BMS, Brake Bleed, Aftertreatment, DPF, Immo Keys, Injector, SAS, Suspension, Throttle, WIN DR ROOF, Seats, Odometer, Lang Change, Headlamp, CHG Tire Size, TEC Learn, ABS/SRS, Cylinder, VGT Learn, Speed & PTO, Clutch, Trans adaptation, Airbag Reset, A/F Setting, Automatic Start/Stop, Electronic Water Pump Start, EGR, VIN, FRM Reset, Transport Mode, HV Battery, ACC, A/C, and Rain/Light Sensor, Gateway Module Data Calibration, Reset Control Unit, Center Console Display Service History, CCS/ ACC, Relative Compression, HV De-energization/Energization, Coolant/Refrigerant Change, Sunroof Initialization
https://preview.redd.it/huomhfymmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da435086c92702e877c2576eeb9a9f44cff49c9f PART THREE: How to do report cloud sharing on MaxiSys MS908S Pro II? MS908S Pro II supports report cloud sharing via Text, E-mail and QR code. 1.Save diagnosis report Select “Diagnostics” function Click the icon circled on the toolbar, and it will appear three items: Screenshot, Save as PDF, and Report to cloud Select “Report to cloud” Input the license plate, odometer reading, customer, phone number and filename and save the report Save the report successfully https://preview.redd.it/9ep7yuunmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eae84c561af711cb974b14b8f93b6d78ff9e2e14 2.Share report via Email Back to the main menu, select Data Manager>> Cloud Report Tap the share icon, and it will appear the methods to view and share report. Select “Send Email”, and enter the email address and click OK Email is sent successfully. https://preview.redd.it/a0itzjnomc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec34047eeee9391e91316dcfc5ac7c7e471a4d9e Besides, you also can check vehicle diagnosis historical test and perform the function supported such as view PDF, print, email, get report, and delete. Path: Select Vehicle History>> Select the vehicle diagnostic report you tested>> tap the icon circled at the top right side https://preview.redd.it/ulodpbdpmc1b1.jpg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa056d67dbc7cd9bbfb2dddceb192e3cb6b6a43b For more info on Autel MS908S Pro II All Systems Diagnostics Tool: Autel MS908S Pro II vs. MS908S II vs. MK908P vs. MS906 Series |
2023.05.22 06:07 SolarDynasty Budget: $4000 Dream: Mini SUV Location: VA, US
Location: Northern Virginia Budget: $4000 USD Want: 2 Door SUV or smallest possible SUV, must have decently high clearance. Tried Looking For: Suzuki family (unable to find) (Tracker, Samurai, X-90), Jeep Wrangler (rusty, overpriced, repairs), Isuzu Amigo (found one seller wouldn't sell), Toyota RAV4/Honda CRV (will get but absolutely hate the look of, only if I have to), Mitsubishi Pajero Mini (unavailable stateside), Montero Sport 2 DR / Regular (not available), Ford Bronco (see Wrangler), Dodge Ram Charger (See Wrangler), Chevrolet BlazeTahoe (much too big / unavailablity), GMC Jimmy/Yukon 2dr (unavailability)
Basically, I need a 2 door mini suv or mini suv that I can reasonably get in Northern VA. Any suggestions, ones I may have missed that might be available? I may have forgotten a few, I have been spending a while looking.
submitted by SolarDynasty to whatcarshouldIbuy [link] [comments]
Basically, I need a 2 door mini suv or mini suv that I can reasonably get in Northern VA. Any suggestions, ones I may have missed that might be available? I may have forgotten a few, I have been spending a while looking.
2023.05.20 20:35 Far_Introduction7486 Jeep Ren Owner for 48hrs
Just bought a 2015 limited... ... because I couldn't get financing on a 2011 V6 Rav4.
I came from driving Full size luxury v8s, Deville s, town cars and lately a grand marquis.
I moved to MN and got into an accident because RWD and blown traction control...
Anyway needed a family car and tried financing for the first time at 44yrs old. The only car I was able to get was this jeep; the bank didnt think a 100k toyota was any good so here i am with a limited awd jeep renegade with 50k.
I am trying so hard to bond with her but it's hard comming from cars that were basically a giant couch with an equally giant v8 strapped to it.
I hope everyone's enthusiasm for the jeeps rubs off...
P.s. not to say I never loved a truck or mopar. I had a 90 dodge ram charger that was awsome; again a giant vehicle.
submitted by Far_Introduction7486 to JeepRenegade [link] [comments]
I came from driving Full size luxury v8s, Deville s, town cars and lately a grand marquis.
I moved to MN and got into an accident because RWD and blown traction control...
Anyway needed a family car and tried financing for the first time at 44yrs old. The only car I was able to get was this jeep; the bank didnt think a 100k toyota was any good so here i am with a limited awd jeep renegade with 50k.
I am trying so hard to bond with her but it's hard comming from cars that were basically a giant couch with an equally giant v8 strapped to it.
I hope everyone's enthusiasm for the jeeps rubs off...
P.s. not to say I never loved a truck or mopar. I had a 90 dodge ram charger that was awsome; again a giant vehicle.
2023.05.20 07:20 vickfillet My 2023 Kia Sorento LX
 | I’m really enjoying what this vehicle got to offer. Even it is the base trim, I feel like I got what I needed for what it’s worth. submitted by vickfillet to kia [link] [comments] Spacious, third row, safety features, wireless car play. Passed 1,000 on the way home from Miami going from Naples FL to and back. Wifey was skeptical at first, but now she is all smiles every time we step in the car. It was either this or the Lexus rx350 or the Telluride. |
2023.05.19 14:37 Flat4Power4Life In the market for a Gladiator, just a question.
 | Given how interest rates are so high right now, even with my excellent credit score I’m getting offers at 6% + I noticed Jeep dealerships are starting to lower prices below MSRP now. Do I wait for rates to drop or just take advantage of these good deals? submitted by Flat4Power4Life to JeepGladiator [link] [comments] |