As-salamu alaykum,
I (26,f) work full time, 40 hours a week. It's about a 2 hour commute to work on the odd days I can't get a lift. I also do all the cooking at home and most of the cleaning. My husband helps out here and there and if I ask him to do anything he will do it for me, so I have help in that aspect. Apart from cooking, he hates cooking so that's strictly my job. We'll order if I am really tired or sick. So, I'm usually quite busy and tired. I don't have a Monday - Friday job, it's shifts. I usually have a day off here and there and every other weekend off. My job is also physically demanding, so I am exhausted when I get back home.
I've been a Muslim for 3 years now. The first year I converted, I lived in a Muslim country and wasn't working so I had time to learn. I learnt a few surahs and the basic principles, as well as some other things such as hadiths and a little history. I was a Christian beforehand and started learning about Islam for my husband to get a better understanding of his beliefs and holidays. Soon, my visa expired and I had to return to my country in the UK, back at home with my non religious family and find a job. As far as I know, there's not a lot of Muslims near where I live and the mosques are quite far. I started to learn less and less because I was busy with family and got a job.
I do try to learn every now and then. I have books I will read sometimes. But I haven't really studied Islam or learnt anymore surahs for a long time. 3 years I've been a Muslim and I only know 3 surahs by heart and only half of ayat ul Kursi, I always forget the last half of it. I also do not know any Arabic. I know the first few letters of the alphabet and then that's it. My mother in law tries teaching me when I'm in her country, but it's quite confusing. Especially because my mother in law and I don't speak the same language, so she's trying her best to explain but I can't understand her. My husband has tried helping me too. He recently moved to my country with me, but he also works full time and is tired and we often work different hours from each other, so if we have a weekend off we like to spend a day doing something together.
I had my tonsils removed this week. I have at least 2 weeks off work. I never get this much time off work, but all I'm doing is watching films and playing games. I have a bookshelf full of islamic books I could read, I have apps I could use to learn Arabic and I have YouTube where I could watch islamic history or anything like that, but I'm just relaxing and playing some old childhood games and watching TV. I feel a bit guilty, because I have been given time now to learn, even just to learn one more surah, but I'm so lazy I just want to relax. Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this? Just to overcome the sheer laziness? I am tired due to the painkillers I've been given and I am in a lot of pain so might not focus a lot, but like I say I could stick on Islam channel or something like that on YouTube but instead I'm watching films I've seen hundred of times before.
I feel like there's so much I should do I just don't bring myself to do it. I need to learn my husband's language, I need to learn Arabic to read the Qur'an, I need to learn surahs and some more history of Islam. I know the basics and that's it. I didn't convert for my husband. I learnt about it and met with imams to talk, but now that I am a Muslim it's like I don't want to learn anymore. I don't know. I feel especially guilty when I see other reverts who have been Muslim about the same time as me or less who already know Arabic or who are going to classes at the mosque. I just don't have the time. The mosque that does classes is quite far from me, and I'm working a lot. I'd love to go part time, I'd love to be a housewife more than anything, but it's just not affordable at the moment.

Since my son was a small child, my wife's parenting philosophy has been that mothers should only provide comfort while fathers are fully responsible for discipline. This has meant that any time my son did something wrong I would always be left to explain why it was wrong and implement a punishment. After I would ground him or reprimand, my wife would always rush over to him and tell him how much she loves him etc etc.
This has been a source of tension between us for a long time, and I've tried to sometimes swap roles and be the parent who provides comfort. In these instances usually it was my wife would discover he did something wrong and would ask me to reprimand him. I would tell her to, but she simply would not and eventually I would relent.
This all came to a head a few days ago, my wife (F46) and I (M49) had to leave town for two days to visit her aunt (F78), who has been ill. We left my car (a Ford Mustang) at home. My son (M17) has driven the car, but only under my supervision, and isn't allowed to drive it if I'm not around. After we came back we arrived home I went into the bathroom and my son told my wife that he had taken the car out with his friends and caused some damage it it while we were out of town.
When I came out, my wife told me what had happened and when I asked my son about it, he apologized and then added that the damage was "very light" I felt very betrayed and went to check the car.
It had bent wheel and damage to the bumper and headlight (much more severe that I expected). I went back inside the house and yelled at my son, expressing how he lied about the damage and called him an idiot as the damage clearly indicated he had been driving recklessly endangering himself and others.
In anger, I said:

1. That my son was the least intelligent member of his friend group and that they took advantage of that.
2. That he was basically a toddler and I would start having to hide items from him so he doesn't break them
3. He would be paying for the damage

My son apologized again and didn't say much the rest of the day. That evening, my wife told me that I was being way too harsh and that he's upset. She suggested I talk to him more gently before bed so that he doesn't resent me. I replied that I've already said everything I wanted to say and that if she wants to talk to him, she can. She then expressed that my reaction has been disproportionate and how items can be fixed and lastly how "boys will be boys". Exhausted from the day, I went to bed without a real response to this.
The next day after my son came from school and I sat him down for a talk. I told him that I did not think he was an idiot, but reiterated that his actions that day were dumb. I then asked him to tell me what exactly happened, and I would remain silent the entire time he narrates.
Later, My wife told me that she thinks it's too harsh for our son to pay for the car's repairs. She said. It was my decision to buy an expensive car that would require expensive repairs and again how "boys will be boys". She then mentioned that while she does acknowledge what our son did was dumb, but said that it is perfectly normal for a kid his age to want to impress his friends.
I have no patience for the "boys will be boys" mentality that she had repeatedly brought up and told her that was not a valid excuse for anything and it is irresponsible for her to want our son, who is soon going to be going to university in another city, to have this way thinking. To me its dangerous.
She told me that I'm overreacting and have blown this whole thing out of proportion. She also mentioned how we can't micromanage him and again that boys "do stuff" and that we can't keep track of every little thing he does. I told her even if we can't track every little thing he does, he'll be held accountable. Either by us or by the law.
She became quite upset now saying that I'm being too controlling and that I'm using fear tactics. She also said clearly I was unable to accept my son living a life he could enjoy and how I value the opinion of strangers more than hers and our son's ability to enjoy life.
I told her that she's delusional and her way of thinking will get our son in trouble. We have not spoken since then.

I have always loved singing standards (emphasis: at home, in the shower) and only recently started joining jam sessions at a small but really vibrant jazz club. Most of the people playing there have many years of experience and are regulars to the club, which has jams almost every day. Some pros even come through and join. I know I can't expect to be perfectly flowing instantly, but I don't want to look like a square any longer than I have to haha, so please give advice. And I want other musicians to actually enjoy playing with me.
Well, I have a pretty good voice (and was told I have excellent rhythm for a singer, and it wasn't a totally backhanded compliment haha) and studied classical singing in college, so singing the songs isn't an issue for me. I just really struggle to feel when I should enter throughout the song, when I should let someone else solo, how long my solo should be and...how I should solo. My impulse is to just improvise whatever I feel like, of course in line with the underlying harmonies. And scatting/improvising, although it's new to me and I'm not great at it, honestly feels pretty natural and good. But I admit I don't know how long I should solo, and sometimes my pitch/rhythm improvs are so different from the main theme that other players act like I've lost them. The setup is usually a pianist, bass, drums, and sax and/or trumpet, along with me. I watch other vocalists when it's their turns but as I actually don't often know the songs they sing very well, I can't really follow the action clearly. When I listen to standards at home, they're usually made for consumers with short attention spans I guess, bc any recordings of famous vocalists focus exclusively on the vocalists. So I'm not really getting much help from listening to those, in terms of timing and switching.
So could anyone give me some tips?

• Most songs are roughly AABA form. Should I step back and let other musicians start soloing after the first A, the second A, or somewhere else? How do I know if a musician wants to solo more than once? I have tried just waiting for eye contact, but that made me miss my re-entrance before.
• Should I stick to the same length of bars that everyone else takes (for improv/scatting)? Is there a rule guiding how many bars to take? Sometimes it seems like some players take shorter and others longer, other times all the same.
• How do I know if someone wants to trade 8s or something like that?
• Should I ever skip part of the song in the interest of time? I think all the lyrics should be sung generally, but sometimes I get the impression from instrumentalists that they don't think it's necessary and maybe unwanted? Like they only want me to sing 1 verse instead of 2, and no intro (for songs that have that). I often like to sing slower ballads, so that is maybe part of it.
• If I want to scat, does that take the place of the last chorus I sing? Or should I sing all parts of the main theme (what's written in the score), and add a scatting section somewhere? I feel like I don't exactly know when is the best time to scat, I just do it when the vibe feels right, but seems like I lose the other musicians a bit.
• Sometimes I've tried mixing up the pitch/rhythm/repetition in my improv to create dramatic tension. The audience seems to like it, but the other musicians look at me like WTF lol. What should I ideally be doing in terms of both not overdoing the improv (is that possible?) and also communicating clearly to the other musicians?
• What aspects should I clarify by talking to the other players before we start? Obviously it has to be said quickly to keep the jam session flowing well.

Also, if there are any good videos or books teaching about this, please let me know! I don't want to be the clueless singer in the jam anymore! Thanks for any help :)

I'm a former Walmart employee and on my first shift, a customer asked me a question but she was very confused by my appearance. She kept wondering whether she should call me sir or ma'am and it was funny.
I've had a few other Walmart customers refer to me as sir or use other terms to describe a man. I also went to a grocery store a couple of weeks ago and a man in there had referred to me as sir. I was holding my large purplish-pink Reebok bag, too.
When I had longer hair and looked more visibly female, I've had times when I looked in the mirror and completely recognised myself as a guy until I remembered that I am a woman.
Even in December of 2022, when my mother told me not to get pregnant, I was completely confused as to how this would be humanly possible until I remembered I'm female.
In early 2023, I was about to joke about being an old man until I remembered that I'm not a man.

OMGGGGG everythings been going so amazing my hard work and effort are finally paying off IM OFFICALLY DOWN 18 POUNDSSSSSS!!!!
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so like i made a post a while ago about how i was going stagnant for almost two years and slowly gaining because i got my height wrong but om im just soooooooo happyyyyyyy YAHHHHHHH RAHHHHHHH CONSISTENY FAITH AND DICPIPILNE NEVER FAILED MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
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im just so happpy and exited ONlY 65 MORE POUNDS TO GOOOOOOOO!!!!
also for some reason my dad tried to insistet that i'm only slightly overweight???? like im l not obese???? i know i carry it all "well" its mainly in my thighs and booty does anyone relate? alsooo i was hoping to get a second opinion on my goal weight i heard 125 would be ideal im a 5'5 female at 15 years old? alsoo i totally wanna rant about how i got fat for a bit so i was always a skinny healthy little kid then i had to move in with my grandma for a bit and she had these really yummy mexican sweets and i had like 3 a day i was like nine years old and thoses things were like 600calories each AT THE LEAST and with additon i always got adult sized plate to eat off LIKE THE BIG ONESSS and i wasnt per say forced to eat it all but it felt wrong wasting food so i sat down and ate adult rotions and lota or cookies and cearal for like 2 year while i was living with her and on top of that time altho i ws the happiest little girl it was objectivly awful i gained 80extra pounds in two years and on top of that i had really bad lice the entire time and nobody really taught me about hygiene so i wouldnt shower or brush my teeth i woulnd brush my hair or even change my underwear and nobody told me why i had to when i asked it was awful i wish i had somebody there to teach my that stuff i was just a stupid kid i didnt even know why i had to wash my hands i litterally had a wart on my hand because i didnt know better it was awful i just know i smelt so bad somtimes i wonder how i even had friends i was definetly the stinky kid but i guess my personality was enough to shine through?? hats off to me i guess thx for reading lol :)

I've been baking for a while, but have decided to start learning to decorate cakes on a professional level. I've only ever baked single layer cakes, so I am in the market for some new pans. I'm thinking 2+ pans so I can practice making layers, etc.
I am trying to decide: 1. what size to get. Small sized pans seem attractive because I won't have to use as much frosting to decorate small cakes, but I am afraid that if I make a bunch of small cakes to practice, then making any larger cakes will seem very laborious in comparison 2. Which pans to get? I don't want non-stick pans. I am open to aluminum, glass (though it don't seem common for cake pans), or any other material that is a "natural" finish.
Does anyone have thoughts/recommendations?

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Just looking to see if anyone can help me with what kind of settings i would need to adjust to get this sound? Maybe a stupid question so thanks in advance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afMXqp5ZGVE

Gone. He shouldn’t come back. Kishimoto definitely wanted to kill off naruto and hinata but new that the less time he waits before naruto dies, the more people that will leave after he does. So, instead of killing him, they got him in a situation, where he might as well be dead, and isn’t but also isn’t going to get in the way of the plot. Personally, I obviously love Naruto’s character (and of course hinata and sasuke) but I think that they shouldn’t be brought back. Ideally, I would want kurama, naruto, sasuke, hinata and Sakura all to just chill out somewhere in an alternate universe that we never see.

In The Legend Of Zelda: Breath Of The Wild, and The Legend Of Zelda: Tears Of The Kingdom there are quite a few structures, story elements, and characters that do not match up. This could however ironically be what helps piece the timeline together.
My theory is that at some point before BotW takes place, time itself has been corrupted. I’m not sure wether that would be the Tri-Force, or just Ganon somehow corrupted time itself. If it is the Tri-Force, that would explain why it is almost never seen in BotW and TotK.
Think about it. How else could there be a Hyrule in which so many contradictory elements exist? How would the Zora and Rito exist in the same timeline? How did the Forgotten Temple end up in the middle of nowhere? Why is Rauru not a human like in previous games? Why are there two Temple Of Times?
None of this would be possible if the timelines were in tact.
My only real question is how did time become corrupted? Did Ganon get his hands on the Tri-Force without anyone knowing? Maybe the Tri-Force we see in the final boss battle in BotW is only the Tri-Force of Wisdom, which would mean Ganon could posses the Tri-Force of Power. I’m not sure how power can change time, but it could have caused something that led to time corruption.
With this theory, we can assume that BotW does indeed bring the timelines together, in a corrupted manner. No one actually realizes the corruption though, because everything that came before BotW was way before any of the characters in BotW exist. Totk can help prove this theory even more, as even more stuff does not make sense. How else would random items, and armor from old Zelda games be hiding randomly underground?
In short, sometime before BotW, time got corrupted, explaining why everything in BotW contradicts the timeline.

For those who missed it, Part 1 can be found here. Hope you all enjoy Part 2!
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Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean were still working as an insurance clerk and police officer when they competed at the 1980 Olympics. The pair, who expressed great admiration for 1980 Olympic bronze medalists Moiseeva/Minenkov, were able to finish in 5th. With a close 4th place finish at Worlds, Torvill/Dean decided to quit their day jobs and dedicate their lives to skating in the years leading up to the Olympics in Sarajevo.
Betty Callaway had already been making her mark as a coach before coaching Regoczy/Sallay to a World title. Her choreography was innovative for the time, with the pauses while changing music incorporated into the choreography of the dance rather than putting unnatural pauses throughout the program. Her work with Regoczy/Sallay made her the perfect backbone to Torvill/Dean’s sport-altering programs to come.
One thing to note about Torvill/Dean that many seem to overlook is that, while glimpses of their future innovation shone through on the ice in 1980 and 1981, their programs were not exactly eye-opening in terms of composition or choreography. When Torvill/Dean skated their way to a World title in 1981, their style was a cross between Regoczy/Sallay’s and Moiseeva/Minenkov’s in a lot of ways. Their movements were sharp but with a hint of gentleness. Their music changed throughout their routine, much alike the style of the Russians before them. But one thing that Torvill/Dean became immediately known for was their speed and coverage on the ice. They were able to race across the ice to a degree that was eye-catching and impressive. Their 1981 win was the first for Britain in 12 years.
Underneath Torvill/Dean, Natalia Bestemianova/Andrei Bukin, coached by Tatiana Tarasova, earned bronze with a similar style as the Soviets before them. Tarasova choreography featured repeated movements across the length of the ice, akin to older Moiseeva/Minenkov programs. Bestemianova/Bukin spent much of their 1981 program repeating movements that left Bestemianova draped across Bukin or lifted in the air, coupled with fast, repeating footwork. The fiercely dramatic skaters were set to stay in the sport for years to come.
Torvill/Dean’s idols Moiseeva/Minenkov, coached by Natalia Dubova for their final season, competed in their last 2 seasons in 1981 and 1982, earning a silver and bronze before retiring to start their family. It seems only fitting for Torvill/Dean’s greatest idols to see the product of their inspiration when Torvill/Dean changed ice dance forever in the 1982 season.
The 1982 season saw the introduction of the Original Set Pattern (OSP) dance (or at the very least, the first recorded instance of its competition), which boils down to a dance where the skaters and their coach would create a compulsory-like dance set to a specific kind of music. For the inaugural season, blues was the genre of choice. In their first of many innovative decisions, Torvill/Dean decided to skate to Summertime, which had the slowest allowed tempo, making it an incredibly difficult song to skate to. Of course, they accomplished this with flying colors, setting the standard for all OSPs to follow. But what was truly innovative was their FD of the same year.
In a year where Bestemianova/Bukin skated to several fast, dynamic pieces of music (and…a dramatic version of “What Is The Youth”?) and Moiseeva/Minenkov appeared to skate in a style more similar to the late 1970s than anything else with a medley of songs that included Bolero (no, really), the idea of a program being cohesive and featuring similar music was almost foreign. The closest program to come to any sort of cohesive idea was when Americans Judy Blumberg and Michael Seibert dressed in costumes inspired by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. But ultimately, their FD still featured several songs stitched together with no real similarity between them, other than all coming from the 1930s, which I suppose was a minor innovation in comparison to the other medalists.
When Torvill/Dean debuted their 1982 FD, it changed ice dance forever. Instead of using several pieces of music to meet the changing tempo requirements, Torvill/Dean chose a single song, the Overture for the musical “Mack and Mabel,” to fulfill the requirement, completely unheard of. To complement the music, Torvill/Dean decided to choreograph a routine with their coach Betty Callaway that called to mind dancing you’d find on the West End. The FD was universally beloved by judges, earning 8 6.0s in performance at Europeans and 5 6.0s at Worlds that year (out of the 7 judges). The FD completely changed the perception of what a program could do on the ice and inspired the rest of the field to up their ability to portray different types of dances on ice while just focusing on one type. It was a breakthrough moment in ice dance and one we take sorely for granted in an age where cohesive programs are the norm.
Torvill/Dean continued their dominance in 1983, taking the World title in an easy enough manner with their Rock n’ Roll OSP and FD based on an American musical named Barnum, a musical about a traveling circus troupe (I’m not making this up I swear). Torvill/Dean decided that their FD should include more difficult lifts to accurately call to mind the circus. Christopher Dean is often cited as the mastermind behind the choreography for the pair and his inspired view of what ice dance choreography could be is on full display for this one, as the idea of portraying a musical or ballet on ice had simply never been done before.
Bestemianova/Bukin meanwhile were performing choreography that featured quick turns and repetition, choreographed entirely by Tarasova. Their programs still featured numerous music switches but were less dramatic in tone switches as was normal prior to the previous year. Blumberg/Seibert, meanwhile, earned their first bronze medal by repeating their FD from the previous year.
The 1984 Olympics are known, by and large, as Torvill/Dean’s crowning moment in ice dance, a culmination of their previous 4 years changing the sport. As it should be. But on a grander scale, this was the first Olympics to feature all of the top four dancers skating to 1 song or idea each in the FD. Again, taken for granted now, but huge for the time and reinforced the idea that ice dance could survive and flourish while focusing more intently on conveying a theme and feeling than in just recreating the dance styles of several different types of music.
The most iconic ice dance routine, of course, is Torvill/Dean’s Bolero. But their OSP of the same year is equally as amazing, with Torvill/Dean and Callaway deciding that, instead of recreating the ballroom dance of the paso doble, they would instead recreate the origins of the dance itself: bull taming. Jayne acted as a cape to Chris’s matador, making it one of the most easily recognizable ice dance routines today. And then Bolero. In a time when FDs had to be a strict 4 minutes long, Torvill/Dean refused to cut a single moment of Bolero. And so they bent the rules, realizing that the timer would only start when their blades hit the ice. For the first 20 seconds or so of the program, Jayne and Chris knelt on the ice instead of skating, effectively getting the full music in. It was innovative, it was bonkers, it was an outright refusal to take no for an answer. And it was brilliant. Torvill/Dean earned straight 6.0s in performance en route to their Olympic title.
Of course, an Olympic ice dance competition would simply not be the same without controversy. Bestemianova/Bukin performed a polka/folk FD (with…costumes to match) to earn the silver medal but the FD had a mistake early. However, Bestemianova/Bukin’s technical prowess in the compulsories (for 2 were performed in competition now) and OSP allowed them to hang on.
The true controversy was for the bronze, when the Natalia Dubova-coached team of Marina Klimova/Sergei Ponomarenko surpassed Blumberg/Seibert for the bronze medal at the young ages of 17 and 23 respectively. Klimova/Ponomarenko were in 4th going into their free dance and floated across the ice to classical music to earn their first Olympic medal, a differing Soviet style on display with their longer edges and more balletic movements. But Blumberg/Seibert, skating to Scheherazade, were decidedly miffed. In a sport that was already earning a reputation for “waiting your turn,” they had waited and were instead supplanted by a young team making their debut due to an Italian judge deciding that their music was not appropriate for ice dance and forcing a tiebreaker after giving a low score in the free. Beating Klimova/Ponomarenko at Worlds the next month didn’t improve their mood.
It was also a judge statement, on wanting the balletic to counter the more theatrical nature of Torvill/Dean and Bestemianova/Bukin. Already the Soviets were working their political magic through Natalia Dubova. And truly, what better way to segue into the next 15 years of Soviet/Russian domination than that?

My wife has been hounding me for years (pun) about getting a dog for the family. My response was always when I am dead and gone feel free to do as you wish. Its not that I do not like dogs I just know how much work they are and the complexities that surround them. You are asking yourself what the hell does this have to do with the HL community?? Well about a month or two ago we started to get to a better place both in the relationship and the bedroom. Little acts of kindness and spontaneous fun etc etc. Things started to feel like the days of old with going out more, spending quality time together and intimacy that actually felt genuine. So about a month ago my wife sends me a picture of this pup that was a year old and fully trained great with kids and other dogs seemingly a great fit. So I am thinking to myself I cannot put off the dog thing forever and I said sure we can look at her. Unfortunately that pup was taken by another family and then the pursuit hit high gear. Her pursuit became some sort of obsession and she roped the kids along on the journey so everyone was excited (almost everyone)
Long story short somehow we ended up with a 11 wk old puppy (basically like adding a newborn back into your life). Our ability to go out GONE, Our summer plans GONE, our ability to spontaneously do anything GONE, our love life GONE. She now spends each night by the puppy instead of in bed, no more plans to do anything as a family since someone needs to be home with the pup. Now I am being led to feel guilty when I am going out to do anything because she is tethered to this new puppy. This puppy is also forcing us to change a summer vacation we had booked as a family now that isn't happening.
I should have held firm and stuck to my guns and said EMPHATICALLY NO! I felt this could make things better but in fact it has made things much worse for our relationship (at least in my eyes). This reminds me of the people I speak with that are having issues and they think adding a child will solve things it doesn't it only adds more stress and strain.
I am a little pissed at myself for having this moment of weakness and saying yes. I deep down knew exactly what was going to happen and it is unfolding just as I thought. I am so fricken tired that I have zero desire for romance, sleepless nights, lots of added nonsense and a partner that is no longer available has me feeling like I am single again.

Hey guys, I finished all the story content on my main character and am looking for a way to get better gear because I like seeing big numbers on my screen.
Right now my gear is stuck at 320 and I've been made aware that i can get 328 mods by doing the Hyde and Zeek quest to deconstruct a 328 prototype item.
I watched swtorista's gear guide on YouTube and she said that the best way of going about getting the required piece of gear for the quest is running the flashpoint red reaper over and over again with a stealth character and a maxed companion.
The issue is that i dont have a stealth character and none of my companions are maxed. So i noticed that the flashpoint vendor sells a piece of 324 prototype gear. Because I've accumulated a lot of fp-1 stabilizers over my time playing, i was wondering if I could buy that piece of gear, upgrade it to 328 and then deconstruct it for the Hyde and Zeek quest.
Would this satisfy the quest or does the gear for deconstruction need to be dropped in an fp or something?

I currently work as a hospital chaplain 5 days a week plus taking an “on call” night one day a week, which can sometimes be silent and sometimes I’m out the whole night..and then anywhere in between.
I’ve been doing this job for about four months and recently, someone’s 32hr a week full time position opened up. I don’t want to make less money, really, but I also think I would enjoy my life more and have time for other hobbies and exercise that I love. A big one is surfing and playing music.
My mama get is extremely nice and understanding and I think I could bring this up to him to talk about changing my contract. What does this sun think? Is it a bad move to go down to 32hrs a week?
Edit: some big points I forgot to mention is that hospital chaplaincy is definitely very demanding and stressful. I can generally make it work, and have a lot of inner and litter support/resources. There are always some pretty tough days just because I am intimately engaging with some of the worst human suffering. So, it’s not just that I want to work less and surf more (though it is true) but to have more time for well-being, more good energy for wife and family, etc.

Hey there, fellow beach lovers! Grab your sunglasses and sunscreen as I regale you with the delightful tale of Lisa and Mark, a radiant couple who embarked on a dreamy beach vacation. Join me as I share their journey, complete with essential packing tips that made their seaside escapade a breeze!
Lisa, a vibrant 32-year-old, and Mark, a laid-back 35-year-old, were celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary. They adored the sun, sand, and salty breeze, making a beach vacation the perfect way to commemorate their special milestone. Seeking advice on what to pack, they turned to me, their trusted travel consultant.
As the ultimate beach enthusiast, I happily shared my expertise with Lisa and Mark. First and foremost, I urged them to pack lightweight, breathable clothing to combat the tropical heat. I suggested breezy maxi dresses and linen shirts for Mark, ensuring they would stay comfortable while strolling along the shore or enjoying sunset dinners.
Next, I emphasized the importance of sun protection. I advised Lisa and Mark to pack high SPF sunscreen, wide-brimmed hats, and stylish sunglasses to shield their skin and eyes from harmful UV rays. To keep their beach essentials organized, I recommended a waterproof beach bag with compartments for their sunscreen, towels, and other beach necessities.
To make the most of their beach time, I suggested they pack a portable Bluetooth speaker to enjoy their favorite tunes under the sun. Whether they were lounging on the sand or splashing in the waves, their beach playlist added an extra touch of joy and relaxation to their vacation.
Of course, no beach vacation would be complete without swimwear! I encouraged Lisa and Mark to pack a variety of swimsuits, ensuring they had options for different beach activities. I also reminded them to bring lightweight cover-ups for when they wanted a break from the sun or wanted to explore nearby beachfront restaurants.
When it came to beach footwear, I recommended comfortable flip-flops for strolling on the sand and water-resistant sandals for water activities. These versatile options provided both comfort and style, allowing Lisa and Mark to transition effortlessly from beach to boardwalk.
TL;DR: Lisa and Mark, a couple celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary, sought my expertise as a travel consultant to ensure they packed everything they needed for a memorable beach vacation. With lightweight clothing, sun protection essentials, a portable speaker, versatile swimwear, and comfortable beach footwear, they were fully prepared to soak up the sun and enjoy their seaside getaway.
If you're eager to learn more about packing for the perfect beach vacation and want to make the most of your travel budget, head over to my YouTube video "What to Pack for a Beach Vacation" on my channel, Travel on a Budget. Get ready to hit the sand in style and create unforgettable beach memories!
[Link to your YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=264SXz3KnFY]

Community Focus

As moderators we've seen this community grow quite a bit for the last few months! With this comes increased requests, more community engagement, and friendships.
One issue we want to address is the focus of our subreddit. As we think about the future, we want to make sure that we keep our requests and focus on romance books primarily, since the purpose of the subreddit is to discuss books in the romance genre. To do this, we'll be creating an Erotica Requests weekly post, which will serve as a space for people requesting erotica and specific sex acts.
What is erotica?
To define erotica for our subreddit: A piece of fiction that focuses primarily on sex, where the plot is secondary and serves the sexual content within. Unlike in genre romances, in erotica a HEA/HFN is not required.
Some examples of this within the MM book community: Hedonist by Roe Horvat, HonoObey by DJ Heart, Taking the Knot by Sean Michael, Upending Tad by Kora Knight, and Knotted by the Wolf by Anna Wineheart.
A book having a lot of sex or having kink content does not make it inherently erotica -- what matters is whether the focus of the book is on the romantic relationship and getting to a HEA/HFN, or not. We realize the line may be blurry (especially with books labeled erotic romance) and we ask that people use their best judgment in the cases of recommendations.
What does it mean to make a request for a specific sex act?
"Request for specific sex act" means a request that can be read as "when the characters have sex, I want them to do X" and where that's the main thing the requester is asking for.
This would not include something like a general request that the book contain explicit sex, for example. It isn't meant to sweep in any request that mentions sex, just requests where the point is to find a specific type of sex scene.
Why make this change?
Our subreddit has always welcomed discussion and recommendation of erotica, kink, and taboo content. The purpose of the new post isn't to say that erotica content is "less than" romance or that it's unwanted here, but just to make it easier to know if you're requesting or recommending erotica (which, as mentioned above, doesn't always have a happy ending or feel like romance), since lots of book requests for romance wouldn't really be satisfied by an erotica recommendation, and vice versa.
Additionally, requests for specific sex acts come up pretty frequently, and many of them are so specific that there aren't many books that fit. A lot of these also wind up being repeats, and any time something is a repeat, people are less likely to reply to it. Putting these requests into their own weekly post where they don't have to be as specific or unique as a standalone request should help people to find what they're looking for, and will hopefully help people get more replies.
We're also hoping that having this new post will help people who are primarily interested in requesting and recommending erotica or specific sex acts know where to look. If you're an erotica-focused reader, a lot of the posts in the subreddit won't be what you're looking for, so you might not visit the subreddit as often and could miss some good stuff. With the new weekly post, you'll know exactly when to check the subreddit for the content that interests you.
This is similar to how we have scheduled posts for queer fiction and other MM media (though the Erotica Requests post will be weekly instead of monthly).
These changes do not mean that you can't recommend erotica, that kink romance books aren't allowed, or that this community is veering away from discussion of NSFW content. Instead, we are hoping this will create a curated space for erotica where erotica lovers can find the books they want, and will make it clearer when requests and recommendations are for erotica vs. genre romance.

New Weekly Post and New Rule

This change will be implemented in the form of a new rule (rule 11) and a new weekly post.

• Requests for erotica and specific sex acts (as defined above) will now need to be asked in the Thursday weekly post, Erotica Requests. Standalone requests for erotica and specific sex acts will be removed, and users will be directed to the Erotica Requests post instead.
  • Like in the Less Scary Request Place, requests made in the Erotica Requests post don't have to meet the specificity requirement of subreddit rule 2.
• Erotica and erotica recommendations are still welcome in response to Book Request posts, but please label your recommendation as such, so that people reading your comment know that the book falls into the erotica category and not the genre romance category.
  • We know that this might be hard to do and will be pretty subjective at times, so this portion of the rule will be gently enforced with reminders/questions to people about whether the book qualifies as erotica.
• This rule only affects Book Request posts (both the request itself and any replies). All other post types are unaffected, and you're welcome to keep posting about erotica books in places like the Weekly Roundup and all of our other scheduled posts, as well as any discussions posted by members (and discussion posts about erotica are still welcome as well).
• The mods will be paying close attention to how easy or hard this rule is for people to follow, so we can figure out if adjustments are needed. The goal is to help everyone know where to ask for and find specific types of books, not to punish people for miscategorizing things.
• Relatedly, we've updated Rule 2 to clarify that requests for strict top/bottom dynamics or that a particular character tops or bottoms do not qualify as specific request criteria. Some other element of the request has to satisfy rule 2. So requests for "extremely frequently requested thing, but please reassure me that my preferred character tops or bottoms" will now be removed. These requests can be made in the Less Scary Request Place or the Erotica Requests post instead.

The first Erotica Requests post will go up next Thursday, June 8.

I’m 39 weeks today and was diagnosed with viral pink eye two days ago because WHY NOT. Do my husband or my 6yr old have it? No of course not. 😒😒😒 just the massively pregnant me. How did I get this you ask? WHO KNOWS ! After a massively frustrating urgent care trip and a very dismissive doctor who pretty much said I could have gotten it “anywhere” I’m just left feeling frustrated and so sick of everything. My entire pregnancy I’ve been sick like 6 times, including this and the flu. Oh and I had “morning” sickness for 22 weeks, and still get sick at the smell of Costco pizza which every single birthday party I’ve been dragged to by my 6yr old seems to serve.
Thank you for listening to my rant. 😇 I’ve just had a very frustrating pregnancy this time around and it’s making me insane. The actual pregnancy itself has been very low key and easy (other than the morning sickness) compared to my first who was high risk and needed all the things (failed twin pregnancy) but it feels like this is a never ending loop and I am SO READY to be done. Fingers crossed that my labors are at least similar since my first was only 4hrs and 20mins of pushing with no epidural, but who knows what’s in store at this point.

This subreddit has turned into a platform for small developers to get free advertising with the sob story of "oh I've been working on this little side project for the past 5 years". Indie game development is awesome, so much so that I even partake myself but that does not make shameless self promotion with dubious stories good. PCMR was about creating a community for people with an interest in computers. Now, it's an advertising platform. It's time to call for a ban on self promotion, like every other subreddit out there.

Have an unsecured loan from 7 years ago when I was in a bit of a mess had loans here there and everywhere always paid off on time etc never missed payments but this loan I had never made a payment unbeknown to me as I was paying all my money towards debt through direct debits and thought it was being paid regularly and now years later it's racked up 20k in interest which I have no intention of paying as it's 3x as much as the loan itself, I have never once been made aware that payments weren't being made or that I was getting interest added on, on my credit report these are all showing as green ticks payments made have looked online for advice but it's very complicated and can't seem to find any does anyone know what I could do or if I have any rights not to pay this.