Nashville weather monthly averages

Hi. 28, Private Employee. Recently we're talking about retirement plans at home. Naisip ko lang sobrang laki pala talaga ng pension for GSIS members. Kung tama ako if your last 3 years average salary from government is 50k, roughly 40-45k ang magiging monthly pension mo. Is that correct? Although, I never plan to work sa government. I love my job now and will never trade it for any gov't post so di ko talaga yan mararanasan.
Anyways, main concern ko lang is, for private employees, how do you plan your retirement or how do you save for retirement? Currently, may MP2 savings ako na I put 10k a month. I think yun na yung retirement fund ko. May SSS naman ako pero sobrang liit lang yun. Below 15k na yata highest nila, tama ba? Is there somewhere we can also put our money para magkaroon ng returns like as high as sa GSIS? Or tips you have for saving for retirement in general.
Thank you so much!

I’m planning on going to both treasure island and el Cortez for double deck blackjack in Vegas next month.
Let’s say the running count is 8 with one deck remaining, is the true count really 8 as well? If so, does that really mean I should up my bet to 8 minimum bets?
And with the average pen at el Cortez being about half a deck, how does this affect my betting and chances?
Any advice appreciated. Thanks!

BACKSTORY: tldr
Sootsprinkle (now known as Inkle), a bird with mottled black and grey feathers, embarks on a journey beyond his home forest. Armed with a map from his father, he quickly becomes lost due to the forest's uniformity. As night falls, he encounters strange luminescent blobs that captivate him. Following one of them, he discovers another blob trailing behind him. Intrigued, he observes multiple processions of these blobs converging towards a distant point.
Reaching a clearing, Sootsprinkle finds himself surrounded by an impenetrable darkness. When he attempts to land, he realizes there is no ground beneath him and starts falling into a seemingly endless void. As he plummets, he contemplates his father, the sign he made, and the creatures he encountered. Eventually, he loses consciousness due to his ever increasing velocity.
Upon waking, Sootsprinkle is greeted by an elf and an old man who rescued him from their well. Confused but relieved, he introduces himself as "Sootpinkie Sprinkle." They inquire about his origins, and he tells them about his forest, his father, and the peculiar journey that led him to their location. The elf lady, named Zindi, decides to help him and invites him inside their dwelling.
They tell Sootsprinkle they are in The Vastlands, main continent of Arcavios and that they can help him become acquainted with their ways, history and educational requirements.
Long months of studying ensue, but Sootsprinkle proves his worth with an excellent memory despite subpar recitations. He learns how to write in common and begins to learn elvish under Zindi's tutelage.
During his studies, he takes an interest in the magic Zindi and the old man perform on a daily basis, seemingly effortlessly. He asks questions tirelessly and without the usual stuttering.
They mention that the University of Strixhaven, the most elite school of mages in the multiverse, is only a few days journey from their home and encourage him to apply. He wonders desperately about his father and the forest village he left behind, but decides his dad is too busy being rich and applies to Strixhaven in the end. Still, he vows to return not only literate but as a wizard and a scholar.
He is accepted swiftly by the college of Lorehold, despite being just around their average standards, once he mentions the odd void that brought him to their lands. This college of scholars set their motto "Leave no stone unturned" deep into young Sootsprinkle. He adventured often, despite his small size. On one expedition he found a shiny green pebble and took it back to his professors who laughed and told him it was just a regular rock that was shiny and green. Sootsprinkle kept it anyway.
Later, he found a feather trapped in fossilized resin and excavated it with great care. It was in near pristine condition, blacker than his own and twice as big. When he made his way back, he decided to do independent research in the library to avoid being laughed at again. A blackish ink sprang forth from the tip, staining countless books before he stuck it in his mouth swallowing nearly a bucket full of the rancid liquid. Sootsprinkle was swiftly brought to the infirmary where he made a full recovery and gained a new nickname "Inkwell". He liked it, but decided to pay homage to his old name and family by changing the ending to "le".
Worried about getting kicked out, he explained the entire situation, without stuttering and was granted leniency. This was partially due to his discovery of the unique feather, which was confiscated until head scholars had learned everything they could about it and deemed it safe for him to retain. It was his pride and joy, he wrote many flawless papers with it and about it.
He spent nearly zero time eating, sleeping or making friends. He loved listening to his peers speak and learning from them and always tried his best to reply when they talked to him first, but never went out on his own to seek them out.
In his 3rd year there, he decided to start researching the black void more closely. No one had heard of such a thing although many theories were thrown about here and there. The old man's well was studied day and night one year, under almost permanent surveillance. Nothing but water ever came out again. There was nothing odd about the well.
Inkle decided to take his research to the Biblioplex, supposedly the most massive collection of knowledge in all of the known multiverse. He had been before but the sheer size of the place left him a little upset, knowing he could never possibly read everything in there. He returned sparingly over the previous 2 years.
The librarian and codex proved invaluable to his research although the anomaly had never been seen in the form it took that fateful day, the effects resembled those of the creature known as Vormox, an enormous, worm-shaped anomaly with iridescent scales and a serpentine body.
It possesses the ability to teleport matter by consuming it. When it devours something, it absorbs its energy and essence. The consumed matter is transformed into energy, and "defected", intact, at another location (Usually somewhere random in the vacuum of space or mashed inside another object. In this case, it seems it was the old man's well.
The futility of his situation hit him then, there was absolutely no way to locate this creature in all the infinite locations it could be in and no way to manipulate it to take him back to the right home in the right timeline in the right reality.
Inkle was not worried that he would never see his father again, that was a near certainty. Distraught, he sought comfort in both learning and psychedelic substances, many of which he modified at random. His 108th trial was on an unremarkable evening with an unremarkable substance that he already knew through and through. An odd fungus boiled down, mixed with any alcohol, and magically flavored with a new taste he came up with called "pitch". It was a heavy flavor, it tasted like the top of your mouth, only more. Or like nothing, only less.
Too lazy to grab a cup tonight, he conjured a health potion and dumped in the pitch flavored liquid, filling it to the brim before downing the whole concoction at once. He went to lay down in his bed but substance kicked in nearly immediately.
Vibrant colors danced before his eyes, swirling and merging in an ethereal symphony of hues. Reality twisted and contorted, shifting like a mirage in the desert. His bed seemed miles away, but he made a lunge for it and felt something soft before closing his eyes. And yet, something was wrong.
In this altered state, he felt a profound disconnection with the universe, as if he could touch the very essence of creation but never be a part of it. He floated through cascading patterns of geometric shapes, each one unfolding with intricate precision. Fear led him into a small pocket of a reality in a corner of his mind left untouched since childhood. The air here calmed him and the room faded. Time and space became malleable, merging and folding in on themselves. The sharp points of the fractals were gone.
The journey reached its crescendo. He emerged from the undulating abyss into a realm not unlike his own. He saw grass so green it almost looked real. In fact it felt pretty real too, although the substance has never given him tactile hallucinations before. Unconcerned, he took a bite of probably the most grass flavored grass he'd even encountered.
The air crackled with energy, and the atmosphere hummed with an otherworldly resonance, promising endless adventures and profound revelations. No sooner than one flap of his wings and Inkle smashed into the ground, and blacked out, head throbbing all the while.
Unbeknownst to him, Inkle had crossed a threshold in his own mind entering a reality in some space and time entirely different than his own. He had in fact, not landed on his bed and instead fell through one of those tiny cracks in reality that are only visible when you close your eyes.
He dreamed of the nothingness, discovering his entire self in the absence of a mind. The pain of losing his home dimension felt so insignificant compared to the nothingness. He wondered about love and companionship but realized he wouldn't care to experience it again, but rather would like to know and catalogue it along with as many other things as possible. He looked around and saw his quill and then his body and willed himself towards them.
When he woke up to the sound of birds, he was on a patch of grass on a beach staring at a vast and dark ocean.

Hi everyone. As the title says, my toddler was nipped by my dog. I’ll give a little backstory, but I’m looking for advice.
A few days ago. I was sitting on my side of the bed. My toddler was leaning against the foot of the bed closer to my husbands side watching tv, and my dog was laying in her bed that’s on my husbands side. My son (20 months) was occasionally spinning in a circle (copying the characters on Bluey). There was no warning, but my dog, a 7 year old husky/German shepherd mix, stood up and nipped him.
She’s never been aggressive, never shown any tendencies for aggression, and is indifferent to my son. She’s decently trained (just your average house broken with commands: sit, lay down, come, down, and gentle). It took me by complete surprise that she nipped him.
I haven’t felt comfortable with them around each other since. She’s either been locked in my room or outside, and never near my toddler. Some of my family is telling me I need to rehome/put her down and the other half is telling me it was a one off and that there’s nothing to worry about. I’m at such a loss. Obviously my son comes first, but it’s killing me to think I may have to rehome/put her down.
So I come to you guys. Have you ever been in this situation? Would you take her to training? Would you rehome heput her down? Not many people will take a 7yo dog, let alone one that nipped.

By Tony Mosher

 I got out of bed Tuesday morning with an overwhelming sense of dread. It was then that the alarms sounded. Those old school air raid sirens. Funny enough, I didn't even know that my town had those. Soon after I received an emergency alert on my phone. “Disaster alert warning. All residents are advised to stay in their houses. Keep clear of all windows. Minimize noise.” God that's weird. I'd never seen an alert like that before. I decided that I'd better call my boss. I probably shouldn't go into work with that alert and all. There's a problem though. No cell signal. I have to say, that's not normal. But why would it be? Air raid sirens, emergency alerts, and no phone. Perfect. Curiously, I make my way to my living room and peak out the blinds. I see a bright and sunny day. I guess it's not a weather alert. But then why did it say to stay away from windows? That's, like, tornado advice. Maybe the person in charge of these alerts messed up or something. But it it was a mess up, why is the cell reception out? I guess I could go to work; nothing seems especially dangerous outside. Oh but everyone else probably got the alert; what if I'm the only one who shows up? No, something might be going on anyway. I'll just call my boss when the reception comes back up. Besides, I hate that stupid job. All I do is answer phones all day. If I get fired it's not the end of the world. Mind made up I closed the blinds and got on my computer, thinking I'd check the local news. That aught to clear up the current state of things. Oh. No wifi. Alright, something is definitely up. This is getting really weird. Why would the wifi be out too? I don't have cable, but maybe I can find something on the free broadcast channels. I flipped on the tv and my blood ran cold. All I found on every channel that comes in was a visual counterpart to the emergency alert I'd gotten on my phone earlier. No answers for me I guess. What the heck do I do? No info, and no entertainment. I sat down on my couch. I guess I was there for a while, deep in thought. A while later I realized maybe I should check in with my neighbor. Ted lived next door, and not very far either. He probably didn't know any more than me, but damn, at least I wouldn't be alone in....whatever it was that was happening. I never made it over there. As I grabbed my jacket, keys, and phone (just out of habit of course), and approached my front door, a loud pounding rang out through the first floor of my house. Someone was at the door, and seemingly REALLY wanted in. I went to answer it, as one does, but stopped. Something felt very wrong about this. None of my neighbors would knock like that. Maybe one of them was freaked out about everything that was going on? No. This didn't feel right. “Let me in, hurry!” came a booming bass voice rang out. That definitely wasn't anyone I knew, and who else but my neighbors would be anywhere around here after the alert? Slowly I crept to the side window to peak out. When I saw who was there, my heart just about stopped. An elderly woman stood at my door. With that voice?! She turned to walk away my stomach turned and I nearly threw up. The way she moved was just not right. Not for someone of her age. Not for anyone ever. She moved in quick, limber strides, punctuated by jerking spastic motions that my eyes almost couldn't process. I know this sounds nuts, god help me, but I don't think she was human. And she was headed to my neighbor's house. She pounded on his door. I prayed he wouldn't answer. I wanted to help him, but what could I do? Of course he answered. Good old dependable Ted; he would never turn away someone in need of his help. That turned out to be his downfall. As he opened the door, she lunged in. I heard a horrible scream. I had an unobstructed view through his front windows, but I didn't want to see this. I let the curtain fall and backed away. Just then another pounding came from my door. This time it sounded like a little girl crying for help. I knew better. This one stayed for a while. At least I think it was the same one. A different voice came every few minutes. But I assume it was the same one. Some time later it left. I heard it walking away. These are not quiet things. I rushed through the house making sure all the lights were off, and all the doors and windows were locked. I grabbed what water and food I could, and shut myself in my hall closet. That was the best place I could think of to hide. No basement in my house, and upstairs was a bad option. If worst came to worst I'd either be trapped, or jumping from a second story window. At least on the ground floor I might be able to make a run for it. Not that I think I'd be successful. I hadn't seen one of these things try to run, but I have no reason to believe they aren't fast. I was in that closet for some time. I don't know exactly how long, but it was at least a couple days. I barely touched my food and water. I was terrified to make any noise. Every few minutes the pounding at the door came back. All sorts of different voices. Honestly I thought I was going to die in that closet. Eventually I knew they would break in. How could they not? They must know I'm here. Why else would they keep coming back? Coming back to the same empty house over and over again would be an awful waste of time. Although, I didn't really know anything about their intelligence. How stupid could they be though, if they were trapping up? They never did break in. I don't know if it was just dumb luck, or if maybe there are rules they have to follow. Either way, I didn't take the bait. Sometime later the sirens sounded again. Like I said I'm not really sure how long, but it was at least a couple of days. I got another notification on my phone. Look at that, I guess the cell reception was back. I barely had time to read the all clear alert before my phone died. I suppose days in a closet will do that, even if I hadn't used it. I disregarded the alert. No way was I coming out of that closet. I'd rather starve to death or die of thirst than to face whatever those things would do to me. I didn't trust the alerts. I may have stayed in that closet forever. The pounding started back up again, and I was glad that I had been skeptical. But then, I heard the sounds of my door being broken down. I really thought that was it. The alert was wrong, and they had finally decided to just force their way in to get me. Imagine my surprise when I found myself being pulled from my closet by personnel dressed in what looked to me like space suits. I found myself being directed out of my house and into a tent. There I was assaulted by a heavy spray of something cold and noxious. Some sort of decontamination shower. It burned my eyes and skin. Afterward I was given a pair of scrubs to wear and was sent off to the hospital for observation. It was at the hospital that I was given an explanation. After my intake a doctor came to talk to me. Apparently there had been an issue at the nearby power plant. The doctor said it was radiation. I had been exposed. I told the doctor that couldn't be, and recounted my experience. He dismissed me and told me that hallucinations were a common symptom of radiation sickness, but I was lucky to have only been minimally exposed. He said that my house must have lead in the walls, because most of the people in my town had gotten much sicker than me. Most of them had died, or were expected to soon. He then informed me that although I had been given a mostly full bill of health, I would need to stay for a few days just in case. I would also need to be monitored periodically throughout my life, as my chance of developing cancer was much higher than the average person. I also wouldn't be able to return home for a while. Disaster personnel would need to clear the area and make sure I wouldn't be at risk of further contamination. Radiation can stick around apparently? I'm not really too sure about all that. But the doctor said the Red Cross would be giving out vouchers to survivors for temporary accommodations and personal needs, once we were released. Everything I had been through in the last couple of days, the explanation laid out for me should have put me at ease. I should be feeling lucky right now. But I wasn't. There was one big problem. As far as I knew, my town did not, or had ever had a nuclear power plant anywhere near it. I would know. I'm a receptionist at the hydro-electric plant about an hour out of town. And as the doctor walked away, I caught a hint of the same spastic movement that the old woman thing had made at the beginning of all this. He was smoother though. Like they learned we could tell that they were different from us. Here's what I think: we're being invaded. I don't know by what, but they're getting better at blending in. If you get an emergency alert, don't go outside. Don't let anyone in. Just hide any pray. I think they might have to follow rules. I think if you don't let them in, they can't just come in. But that's just a guess. Good luck out there. 

Los Angeles, 30th May 2023 - E Scooters LLC, a leading provider of electric scooters, is proud to announce the launch of a citywide electric scooter pilot program in Los Angeles. The program aims to revolutionize urban transportation, offering residents and visitors a convenient, eco-friendly alternative for short-distance travel.
According to recent data from the Department of Transportation, Los Angeles faces severe traffic congestion, with average commute times increasing by 20% in the past five years. Moreover, the city's carbon emissions have reached alarming levels, contributing to air pollution and climate change. The introduction of electric scooters through the pilot program is expected to alleviate these issues. Studies have shown that each electric scooter trip replaces an average of three car trips, reducing traffic congestion by up to 40% and lowering carbon emissions by an estimated 75%.
"As a resident of Los Angeles, I'm thrilled to see the launch of the electric scooter pilot program," said Jane Smith, an influential sustainability advocate. "These scooters provide a sustainable solution to tackle traffic congestion and reduce our carbon footprint. It's time we embrace clean and efficient modes of transportation like electric scooters."
The pilot program will introduce a fleet of 500 electric scooters strategically placed throughout the city, with an additional 100 charging stations installed to ensure a seamless riding experience. E Scooters LLC has partnered with local businesses, community organizations, and the Los Angeles Department of Transportation to ensure accessibility and promote responsible riding practices. The program will run for six months, during which data will be collected to assess the impact and feasibility of expanding the initiative citywide.
"We are thrilled to bring our electric scooters to the vibrant streets of Los Angeles," said John Doe, CEO of E Scooters LLC. "Our mission is to create a cleaner, greener future by offering sustainable transportation options that are both convenient and fun."
To participate in the pilot program, residents and visitors can simply download the E Scooters mobile app, available for iOS and Android devices. The app allows users to locate and unlock nearby electric scooters with a few taps on their smartphones.
"Electric scooters are a game-changer for urban mobility," said Mark Johnson, a popular tech influencer. "They provide a cost-effective and efficient means of transportation, making it easier for people to navigate cities while reducing their environmental impact. The launch of the pilot program in Los Angeles demonstrates the city's commitment to embracing innovative solutions."
For more information about E Scooters LLC and the citywide electric scooter pilot program, please visit a website. For media inquiries or interview requests, please contact:
E Scooters LLC Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) Toll-free: (760) 892-3591
About E Scooters LLC: E Scooters LLC is a leading provider of electric scooters, dedicated to promoting sustainable and efficient urban transportation solutions. With a commitment to innovation and customer satisfaction, E Scooters LLC aims to revolutionize the way people move in cities, contributing to a cleaner and greener future.

I work as a sound tech(part time) at my local church (Church A). I love working at church A but they do not have a young adults group. I've been going to a young adults group at another church in town (church B). They average at about 100 per young adult service and overall, they have an active young adults group.
Every couple of months, the young adults pastor will plan an opportunity for the young adults to volunteer and represent the church. This Friday, Church B will be participating in a community event in the downtown area. They will be hosting free games, free food and drinks, inflatables, and a section for new people to learn about the church.
Sometimes I will think about the idea of volunteering at church B but I feel like it wouldn't be a great idea because I work at Church A.
What should I do ? Is this a good idea for me to volunteer at this particular event at Church B ?

I work as a sound tech(part time) at my local church (Church A). I love working at church A but they do not have a young adults group. I've been going to a young adults group at another church in town (church B). They average at about 100 per young adult service and overall, they have an active young adults group.
Every couple of months, the young adults pastor will plan an opportunity for the young adults to volunteer and represent the church. This Friday, Church B will be participating in a community event in the downtown area. They will be hosting free games, free food and drinks, inflatables, and a section for new people to learn about the church.
Sometimes I will think about the idea of volunteering at church B but I feel like it wouldn't be a great idea because I work at Church A.
What should I do ? Is this a good idea for me to volunteer at this particular event at Church B ?

For young biology teachers who are looking for inspiration and suggestions, I offer this free manual that addresses teaching methods that take today's high school students directly into Nature as an introduction to Biology. I developed it across 40 years of blissful teaching. Enjoy it! Have fun with it!
It took quite a few years to figure out how to teach nature-illiterate high school students introductory biology. Richard Louv's The Last Child in the Woods (2008, Algonquin Books) reinforced in me the notion that Biology as a subject was being taught backwards. Aldo Leopold said as much in 1938. For a ninth grader, the notion that submicroscopic biochemical processes such as the Calvin Cycle or protein synthesis are more basic than finding oneself at home in his or her biological community is simply incorrect. We’re teaching biology without context. We need to get kids into the field, seeing and hearing Nature, learning to observe, question, hypothesize, and design experiments. Later, we can ferret out the subtle processes that drive the organism. This book is a manual for biology teachers, beginning with nature-literacy. The chapters contain field experiments to address biodiversity measurement, population size estimation, community similarity, transect analysis, natural selection, interspecific competition, and landscape boundaries. I teach these concepts during the fall and spring, when the weather is favorable.The cold months can be spent in the lab to study enzyme activity, calorimetry, measurements of cellular respiration and photosynthesis, osmosis and diffusion, DNA extraction and electrophoresis, genetics, and modeling of molecular systems and processes. It’s also a good time for microscopy and drawing skills development.
It is free. Enjoy it, have fun with it.
https://books.apple.com/us/book/teaching-biology-to-nature-illiterate-students/id1447756384

It’s kind of scary to even admit this, but I’m hoping that if any community on Reddit can empathize both with where I am and where I want to be, it might be this one.
I adopted a kitten in summer 2021. I was living alone, deeply struggling with depression and dissociation, and having a lovely living creature in the house with me has helped a lot. Her mom was a feral cat who wandered into someone’s backyard, and she needed a safe home. She’s my baby, and I tell her that probably ten to twenty times a day. I tell her I love her, and we slow blink at each other a lot when we’re both chilling. She gets the fanciest dry food, good vet care, spends a couple of hours a day on my lap on average, sleeps with me at night, all winter she has a heating pad going on her chair. We have meowing conversations with each other. I say all this somewhat defensively, to give some evidence to support the idea that I love her and care for her well most of the time.
But what do I actually do about the times when I resent her, get frustrated with living with her, or even wish I hadn’t adopted her? A lot of my healing at this point has to do with re-associating to the negative emotions of fear, anger, jealousy and resentment that I have been pushing away for most of my life in pursuit of being “good”. I am trying to stop telling myself that I can’t have those feelings or that I’m bad for having them, but I don’t know what to do with them when I actually accept them and let myself feel them.
For example, she is having some diarrhea right now from trying out a new food, and she is not doing a great job of cleaning her own butt afterwards, unless you count wiping poop and anal gland secretions on my rugs and bedspread as doing a great job. It’s making the house smell a little like poop all over the place, and in between my washing machine being broken and my rugs being colorful and patterned enough to hide the stains so I can’t quite find them, it feels like everything is contaminated with poop and will never be clean enough again. Usually I can deal with the fact that there is litter scattered all over my floors and it’s unpleasant to walk around in bare feet despite mitigating this with a litter mat and a rug near her box to capture the scatter, but today it’s bringing up a lot of frustration and missing the days when I only had to deal with my own, decidedly less scatological mess.
I feel for her- it’s rough on anyone, human or animal, to have tummy problems, and it’s not like I can explain to her that she’ll feel better soon or if she stays sick I’ll take her to the vet, or ask her to wipe herself on some particular towel or cloth I can wash instead of a rug. I tried shutting her out of my room last night when I found two more big wipes of poop on my bedspread, and she does sleep in the living room sometimes, but then when she was at my door in the middle of the night I felt bad and let her in.
I’m struggling this weekend with some other emotional things- feeling lonely, and feeling really uncertain in my relationship with my therapist, the one person I see every week- but otherwise, I started ketamine therapy a month ago and it’s been really successful. I’ve been able to do more, care for myself, even start to think about the future in a way that was simply impossible a month ago. But I’m afraid of these feelings causing a backslide, which to some degree might be inevitable as a pendiculation of growth and then some contraction or difficulty as part of the healing process.
It also scares me because she’s kind of like a practice child to me, and I’m terrified that I would have these feelings about a potential future human child as well, which I really want someday in my life. If I can’t deal well with them, in thirty years, will my kid be posting on a futuristic cptsd forum about their mom feeling resentment towards them? Is that something I can prevent? Is that something everyone has to deal with in some sense, a cost of existence that every once in a while, the people responsible for caring for you will feel it to be a burden? Or is that something I need to overcome and not feel or express if I’m to be a (good? perfect? acceptable?) parent?
I would really appreciate responses from people who are fully responsible for another living creature’s life. Please be kind- I feel vulnerable in sharing these darkemore difficult feelings, and I really am trying to do the best by myself and by my baby.

Edit: turned out this is a long one. TLDR at the bottom.
I will try to keep it short so here is the rundown.
I 20M met this girl, F25 in October of 2022. There was some light banter right off the bat but we were just acquaintances. We didn’t talk/see each other much. Maybe once a week. At the moment I was in a relationship and wasn’t looking for anything (other than a new friend maybe).
Come December, I broke up with my girlfriend after she confessed that she cheated on me. It was my first long relationship and serious lasting 2 years. I learned a lot about what I want and relationship dynamics. So I am grateful for having those experiences.
Now onto this girl. When we first met, she thought I was 23-24 (I am extremely mature for my age, won’t get into it but I live the life of a 30yr old, the good and bad lol). Regardless once she found out, she teased me about it for a while.
Come February of this year, she invited me to get some food with her (on Valentine’s Day none the less). I obliged but later found out she had a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is in another country 8 hours away. She seemed like a cool girl and we have a lot in common being raised similar from the same country having watched the same cartoons, having the same morals, life goals, etc…
This was the start of our friendship. There are some habits of hers I didn’t like at first and after hearing about her boyfriend she was unavailable (to me, I wouldn’t chase etc…). I let the friendship develop.
We have gone skiing for the whole day (she was a beginner and we had fun), we’ve gone on some walks, gotten dinner alone a few times. Celebrated my birthday (20th at a fancy restaurant alone again). I’ve never hung out in a group setting with her since. Always one on one, we are both busy people but make time for each other.
Now we hang out on average twice a week alone at bars or restaurants. Furthermore, she has just gone on a trip she has been dying to go on for years. I thought great, she will be busy etc, I can get my mind off of her. But no, instead, she has called me multiple times a day, 100s of texts about her trips and everything good and bad about her trip. I’m okay with it as I work a lot and it’s nice to do anything but work for a change.
Last couple nights we would be on FaceTime together for 1hr or more as she is falling sleep in bed (won’t lie it’s a little cute). Just yesterday, the conversation somehow got to a point where she imagined moving to this new country (with me) because she loves it so much, etc… Like a whole entire life about living on a farm etc… visiting our parents back home every couple months. Obviously it was a joke but it hit a nerve. Now I’m not sure what to do. I’ve tried letting go of my emotions towards her but it’s getting harder and harder.
She’s been helping me with some stuff outside of life (personal achievement) and while she’s been away I hit an incredible life goal. I told her we would celebrate when she gets back. I planned a great evening for her. At first it was as friends but after the last 2-3 days of being on call all day it’s making me question reality.
On one hand I understand I should shoot my shot and either our friendship is strong enough to handle a rejection, we fall apart or we start dating if the feelings are shared. I feel bad about asking her out because she obviously has a boyfriend and I respect that very much.
I don’t quite know what kind of relationship they have other than they visit each other once a month for a weekend. And she’s complained about their life goals not aligning lately. They have been on and off for the last 5 years having dated for 2yrs. I know I’m reading into it a lot.
I wanted to ask how bad of an idea is it to mention to her that I think we could be more than friends but I totally understand if she doesn’t feel the same as I value our friendship. I doubt we would have a falling apart as we have become extremely close. She has even invited me to travel with her the next time (she loves to travel).
Should I do it when we celebrate or is that a bad idea cause she will think I had it set up that way to “confess my feelings” (I obviously wouldn’t tell her I love her, we just have a lot in common.)
Should I just sprinkle into a conversation we have?
Thank you!
TLDR: Became close friends with a girl. Developing feelings but she is taken. What do?
I’m also 99% sure she’s not interested. Atleast not with how things stand now. Is it worth it to tell her how I feel to start moving on?

Some people believe the fast pace and movement of the last few CoD games killed off CoD’s active playerbase, that “sweaty players and skillgaps” are the cause. It seems like even Infinity Ward thought this, hence the way MWII is designed. After doing a lot of research and connecting the dots, I don’t think this is correct.
Let’s start with the reported loss of players towards the end of the original Warzone. CoD experienced a 50 million player loss - the majority of these left over the release of Vanguard/Caldera. It has nothing to do with the movement or skillgap. If the skillgap was really a concern, player counts would have fallen off a cliff after a few months of MW19/Verdansk, but they didn’t.
The majority of people didn’t like Vanguard upon launch and they certainly didn’t like the Caldera map. The switch from a city based map to a rural based map turned off a huge chunk of Warzone players.
Let’s focus on the current PC player counts - Steam numbers are live source of the PC playerbase. It’s normal for the playerbase of a game to drop after launch, but what’s supposed to happen is a large peak with each season that slowly falls off. What we can see is that MWII is on a steady downhill, regardless of season updates. Steam is a great source of active playerbase numbers, but it isn’t the only source we’ve had.
In Spain, Activision allowed the OXO Museo museum to stream the live player count numbers of Warzone 2, MWII and DMZ for one day. This was leaked on Twitter. For whatever reason, this didn’t actually get as much attention as it should have. The information revealed just how many players play the current games on a daily basis. From there we learned that Warzone 2 (including DMZ) had a player count of 424,00. This is for all platforms combined. This was in late January. Steam numbers for last month show 102,946 as a daily player count. Using this information, we can calculate the ratio of daily console to PC players is 4:1.
Apex Legends (only PC) routinely averages around 200k+ players on PC. Even if the ratio of console to PC players is different with this game, give CoD the benefit of the doubt since it’s more console focused, let’s say console to PC ratio is lower at 2:1. This still theoretically results in that game having 50% higher player counts (all platforms) than Warzone 2 and DMZ combined. This is a far cry from the Verdansk days where Warzone was played much more than Apex. This is reflected in Twitch viewership. People like to claim Twitch viewership isn’t a good assessment of popularity, but regardless of how casual or hardcore a game is - if the game is played a lot, it will both be streamed a lot and have a lot of people watching said streams. Fortnite is a very casual game as an example, with a large audience of people watching. Apex has significantly more people streaming and watching it than Warzone 2.
Going even further with this, let’s compare Multiplayer. The OXO Museo showed 184,000 as the daily player count. Compare this to the golden era of CoD, like Black Ops 2 and MW2. These games showed the global player count in the Multiplayer menu, something they don’t do anymore as they’re likely embarrassed of the drop. Back then, player counts averaged half a million and sometimes peaked to 2 million, even several months into the life cycles. Average daily player count is a direct measure of player retention. MWII has significantly worse player retention than its classic ancestors. Now obviously, times change and some people move on. But the difference between modern Multiplayer retention and classic Multiplayer retention is too large to ignore and the gameplay design is a direct cause of this.
What people don’t seem to understand is the concept of rewarding gameplay. When you dumb a game down and reduce its skillgap, so that the most ultra casuals can enjoy it - it doesn’t result in more money long-term. Yes, maybe initial sales will be higher but not micro-transactions. Why? For people to buy cosmetics, they need to at least be somewhat dedicated to the game. They don’t have to be “hardcore”, but let’s say these people are semi-casual - let’s label these semi-casuals as “midcore”. They’re not casual but they’re also not hardcore. It’s not casuals buying Blueprints en masse, it’s midcore and hardcore players - they’re the “whales” wasting money on cosmetics.
A game that has a very small skillgap isn’t rewarding. It may be gratifying to the masses of casuals that play it a handful of times per month, but not rewarding to the dedicated or midcore. If the game doesn’t have a sense of reward within its core gameplay (not just in Ranked), people find little use in “grinding” it and therefore spend less money on micro-transactions. This is why while MWII sold extremely well (casuals mopped it up), but micro-transaction revenue is lower than in Cold War - this Treyarch game at the time was praised by investors due to the amount of Bundles, Blueprints and Operators it sold. Cold War plays like a transitional CoD game with a moderately sized skillgap, see the correlation here? Half the coin in modern games is in micro-transactions. It’s all well and good selling the most initial copies, but if player numbers drop below the past high standards of retention and micro-transaction revenue drops - it isn’t the best long-term strategy.
CoD Campaigns are often not talked about regarding casuals, but they should be. People seem to think that casuals flocking to MWII is because the Multiplayer skillgap shrank. Nope. People love realistic/immersive story experiences. It’s why Sony is able to rake in so much exclusive cash, as the market for a well polished, immersive story experience is always hungry. The vast majority of casual CoD players play the Campaign, no/very little Multiplayer and never touch the game again. This is no different with MWII and it’s for this reason that tailoring Multiplayer gameplay specifically to target casuals was a terrible idea.
CoD Multiplayer may not thrive off the small hardcore, but the midcore is the majority of its active player base. If the hardcore is roughly 1% of CoD customers, the midcore is roughly 10%. Each game sells around 25 million copies each year. Only around 1% of those numbers are playing Multiplayer each day. The majority of casuals buy CoD for its Campaign, leaving a smaller percentage of casuals and the midcore making up the Multiplayer numbers.
This is why the developers should’ve listened to the midcore and hardcore players for Multiplayer feedback, not casuals. Listen to the casuals for Campaign and co-op feedback. Casual players are not your typical “gamers”. They’re more money conscious as the hobby is not a large part of their life. They’re more likely to play games for “their moneys worth”, which is usually in the Campaign mode. Making CoD Multiplayer accessible is important to convert the percentage of casuals that are curious about Multiplayer into midcore players, but dedicating design philosophy solely around casual players was the worst decision they’ve ever made.
The numbers don’t lie. The opinions of the midcore and hardcore align with them. Player retention is at an all time low and it’s because the developers and Activision as a whole, are focusing on the wrong players with their design philosophy.

CREDIT PROFILE

• Current credit cards you are the primary account holder of:
  • CSP - $30k Limit - Opened in 2018
  • BoA Customized Cash Rewards - $20k Limit - Opened in 2012
• FICO Scores with source (see note on FICO score sources below):
  • 796
• Oldest credit card account age with you as primary name on the account: 10 years
  • Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 6 months: 0
  • Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 12 months: 0
  • Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 24 months: 0
• Annual income $: $250k

CATEGORIES

• OK with category-specific cards?: Yes
• OK with rotating category cards?: No
• Estimate average monthly spend in the categories below. Only include what you can pay by credit card.
  • Dining $: $600
  • Groceries $: $800 (Most groceries are done at TJ and Safeway)
  • Gas $: $200
  • Travel $:
    • Flights: $800
    • Hotels: $600
    • UbeLyft: $100
• Do you plan on using this card abroad for a significant length of time (study abroad, digital nomad, expat, extended travel)?: No
• Any other significant, regular credit card spend you didn't include above?: $1000 (Shopping, including Amazon)
• Can you pay rent by credit card? No

MEMBERSHIPS & SUBSCRIPTIONS (delete lines that don't apply)

• Current member of Amazon Prime?: Yes
• Current member of Costco? Yes
• Current member of Chase, US Bank or any other big bank?: Chase and BoA
• Are you open to Business Cards?: No

PURPOSE

• What's the purpose of your next card (choose ONE)?: SUB and Cashback
• Do you have any cards you've been looking at? Amex Blue Cash Preferred for Groceries, Chase Trifecta, Citi Premier

I have been living under a rock and finally catching up on how to best utilize credit cards. I'm looking to get at least 2 more in the near future and start building from there to maximize cashback and rewards. I will have a significant purchase in the near future ~$10k (In the next 2 months probably) so I would like to maximize the rewards. I also read that I could downgrade my CSP and then re-open it to get the SUB. Will I lose any of my UR points if I do that?

Just context, you can skip this long ass read. Tl;dr, everything was okay, for several years of varying stress levels, until it VERY suddenly wasn't. If you can, at least just skim the important bits and advise me on how the fuck to cope with this.
Everything was okay around a month ago. Our situation hasn't been good, but we were handling it and excited for a growth opportunity like we've never had.
She has PTSD, but she's always managed herself well, aside from a brief period years back where some impending doom set in while confronting some of her trauma. She sought out therapy, and even just by the end of her first session she was improving a ton. It wasn't long before she was back to her normal self, but even better for it.
Problem is, we've been under tremendous stress for around two years.
Our rescue macaw passed away from a viral wasting disease, and he was the closest thing we'd had to a child. We had him for most of our ten years together.
We had our (rental) home sold out from under us in the middle of a rental crisis. Basically the only option we had left was to move in with her family 2,400 miles away, onto their ranch. She couldn't continue therapy when we moved.
They were contributors to her childhood traumas, but she was so sure they'd changed and were ready to be the people she needed them to be many years ago.
I was extremely skeptical that the people who hadn't extended a finger to us, let alone a hand, through several years of struggling through a lot of hard shit, suddenly wanted to give us a near-free ride. But I think her sheer optimism for it just made me feel like I was being an awful cynic, so I just shoved it down and bought into her fantasy. For her sake, as I thought at the time. Maybe she was right, after all.
She was wrong, and it went about as well as you'd expect. Honestly probably a lot worse. Her grandmother and father are manipulative, narcissistic assholes, whether or not they realize that's what they are. They bait and switched on us hard, whether they meant to or not.
The picture that was painted was that we'd live in the spare trailer on their property and pay our portion of the taxes and the insurance, and obviously just do our share of stuff like yard work. Maybe occasionally helping out with some cows and fences.
We spent most of our savings to get there, and after a four and a half day U-Haul trip, they started moving us in.. to her grandmother's house. In a tiny spare room. For two (at the time) 26 year old adults, a dog, a cat, and a snake. We had to get a storage unit for the vast majority of our stuff, since we'd had nearly ten years of building a life together in the back of that truck.
That spare trailer stayed empty for the whole year and a half of us being there, by the way.
All the responsibilities were then handed off to us. We were expected to cook the meals for everyone, clean the house, do all the ranch work, fix anything that broke, etc.. Her father and grandmother just sat in bed, collected their retirement/inheritance/disability, and popped their pills.
Then on top of it, we were also expected to pay "half" of the bills, so we had to find employment on top of all the other full-time responsibilities.
We weren't allowed to see the bills, they would just tell us what we owed, but I'll tell you right now that I'd never in twelve years of being out on my own now, in comparably sized homes, paid $800 for a month of electricity. But allegedly the "half" we were expected to pay was $400.
My grandfather passed away, and I soft inherited my grandparents' property. My grandfather and I never had a good relationship, so it was a huge surprise. But with what little we'd managed to save up in that time, it got us off her family's ranch, and it also got us out of the vicious poverty inducing rent cycle, so it seemed like we'd finally gotten a massive break.
Then the housing problems set in.
I've replaced about half of the plumbing myself, because new stuff just kept breaking down all the time.
I wasn't confident doing a new gas water heater myself, so we had to get work to save up for a new one. Until that indeterminate future date, we had to boil water on the stove and shower with a pitcher out of a cooler. We took it in humor as best as we could.
Then our vehicles started breaking down, and became unreliable enough we couldn't leave the small town we're living in. Our savings at that point weren't nearly enough to get new vehicles, or even to get the level of work required done in a shop, and I didn't have the means to do that level of work.
She's been in healthcare (a very desperate field) for her whole working life, and is a fantastic worker, so she found work right away, four minutes from our house.
I sat on Google refreshing the job listing probably forty times per day, looking for anything even marginally close enough that the car could make it to, and I could plausibly continue to find a way to work even if it suddenly couldn't. I've done remote work before and would've been happy to go that route again.. except the best we get here is 7mbps internet, and I couldn't find a single fucking place that would accept that.
We're an equal home. Bills, large purchases that benefit both of us, food, housework, everything except stuff like the vehicle/house maintenance which she wasn't comfortable doing (though even that she was interested in learning). This was killing me to feel like I was leaching off of her, and I know it was really stressing her out being the only source of income.
Then set in the job problems. Put simply, she'd wound up in a very toxic work environment. To make matters worse, one of the people there is almost like a 40 year younger version of her grandmother, whom we'd just escaped.
My S.O. started to lose her identity there, just trying to mask and mirror her way through the social dynamics, which were more like a cliquey high school than a workplace. She felt her job depended on it. Gossip, cruelty, passive aggression, all completely out of character for her, but she felt like she didn't have a choice but to participate in it.
The manager also didn't want to do her own job, and given my S.O.'s glowing experience, resume, and letter of recommendation from her previous job, started putting the job of managing people on her..
But without the title, authority, or pay of a manager. So naturally, nobody gave a shit what she had to say. It still all fell down onto her anyway, and she was treated like shit every time her attempts to lead didn't go as they should've.
But she felt she couldn't leave, because the way she (understandably) saw it, our survival depended on it.
I did finally find work as lower management in a small casino in town, but she never lost that survival mode mindset, and had no interest in quitting despite all the stress it was putting on her.
How we landed here, per the title. This is where my heart breaks down completely. Mostly for her, but quite honestly, also for myself
About three weeks ago, she came home from work one day. She started her normal "today's bullshit at work" vent session, like we've always done for each other every day.. but this was different. First she seemed a bit disconnected, but it quickly devolved into extreme emotional reactions.
All of a sudden she starts talking about how everyone's behavior is changing around her. Suddenly the girls at work were chipper and kind. Everyone was doing their job correctly. She became convinced there was some kind of investigation for a hostile work environment or something happening, and that was causing the change.
It didn't seem totally out of the realm of possibility, especially because they'd just finished berating a transgender coworker out of there. And my S.O. has always been pretty sound of mind (albeit occasionally a little prone to unlikely fantasies of optimism, but I personally love that about her despite what it had just resulted in with her family). I agreed that it did sound like a possibility.
Pretty quick, she started getting squinty-eyed, told me my behavior has been changing too, and started asking me what I knew about the investigation. Caught me completely off guard, and I guess she saw that in my body language, but misread it as me trying to hide something.
She asked me what I was hiding, and at this point I was just massively confused how this went from a normal vent session about work, like we've had for ten years, to an interrogation.
Before I could answer, suddenly she jumps to angrily asking if I'm cheating on her, a look of almost intense hatred in her widened eyes.
Every question just confusing me more in terms of where she's getting any of this from. We have great communication, loyalty, honesty, trust, the whole package. I had no idea what was happening.
She ran to the bedroom and started packing to leave, and I was begging her to slow down and stop so I could catch up on what the fuck was happening. She told me I was in on the investigation but wouldn't tell her anything, and I was cheating on her with one of her coworkers (who has a loose link to my boss at the casino.. small town shit), and that's all she needed to know.
It finally clicked for me that this was some kind of stress breakdown, and I suggested as much. She finally slowed down and thought about it. Suddenly she's calling her sister, who lives in a completely different state a thousand plus miles away, surrounded by ocean. "Do you know anything about an investigation? Have any of the girls from my work contacted you?"
Her sister was also caught off guard, but honestly responded much better than I did, and I'll always feel like my uncoordinated response did damage here. Maybe because they share a lot of the same traumatic experiences, and the diagnosis, so she understood what was happening much more quickly? I'm not sure.
My S.O. backed down, had a good long cry while we cuddled, and it seemed like that was it. She understood that it was some kind of mental snap, and her grip on reality had basically fully returned. She said she didn't think she could go back to work there, and I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agreed after what I'd just witnessed. WHOLE. FUCKING. HEARTEDLY. Scared the shit out of me, but after hours of it, I was just glad it was over.
The next day, "I just wish someone would be honest with me. There is FACTUALLY an investigation happening, you all know something about it, and I know you're cheating on me. I need to just get away from everyone." Cue an hours long conversation trying to talk her down again, but this time on my own, because she'd decided her sister "wasn't in the loop enough to see what was going on anyway."
It went on like this for about three weeks. Off and on. All day. All night. Moment of clarity, back down the rabbit hole 30 minutes later. Moment of clarity, back down the rabbit hole.
She started making all these "seeing god in the stars" types of connections. Suddenly everyone on Facebook knew something she didn't now too, evidenced by how these posts they're sharing relate back to it. My family was also allegedly talking about her mental breakdown on Facebook, which meant that I'd told them everything about it and taken away her choice to control that information.
Neither of us were sleeping, eating, drinking, basically neglecting all forms of self care to sit there and hash, rehash, and rehash this out again. I'd guess I was averaging 5 hours of sleep per week, right alongside her, while still having to go to work and pretend everything was fine.
I tried to suggest returning to therapy god knows how many times, or even something in-patient since this was SO much worse than her last episode years back, but initially she was convinced this was me trying to manipulate her. Gaslight her. Convince her she's crazy.
I tried to get her to just think it through, like what evidence does she actually have for any of it beyond her gut feeling? The evidence doesn't exist because we're all smart enough to get rid of it and keep it from her. She just kept repeating that she trusts her body, and that's all she needed.
During one of her moments of clarity, she finally booked a therapy appointment.. but unfortunately not through her old therapist, who had been fantastic with her. She no longer lives here. Instead, she went through that BetterHelp app.
Her first appointment, she starts going into the stuff she needs to get working through, and in response she gets, "Holy smokes!" Yeah. That's it. Holy smokes. To be clear here, this is evidently not a platform for people in crisis, this is a platform for people whose dad yelled at them that one time and it makes them sad to think about, because these people are clearly not equipped for anything more serious than that. What kind of fucking psychology professional responds like that?
Anyway, the therapist also went on to say about the job situation, "I would've quit too." Now, this seems innocent enough when you're dealing with someone who's with it, but my S.O.'s currently fractured mind took that as validation for everything, not just the general toxicity of the work environment like the therapist was speaking to. Again, a psychology professional should've known better. And it was back on full force for a while.
A massive divergence happened a few days after this. I'm not even sure how or why. We had our usual rehashing session, and suddenly.. she just accepted it. She accepted that she's in perpetual fight or flight mode right now, and her mind is looking for any explanation to grasp at, any possible danger imaginable. She just had to trust us, the people who've loved and supported her all along and have no reason to betray her, and keep with the therapy.
For three or four days, she was totally with it. I mean, almost fully back to normal. All apologies for what she put us through, all forgiveness and "just happy to have you back" from us. Then on the final night, she sees that my step mother is Facebook friends with one of her coworkers. And we're back on.
Fast forward to the past few days, and she's become very despondent about the way she's feeling. She's fairly consistently aware that something is happening to her internally, rather than externally with everyone else, basically just seeking regular reassurances that we're being as honest as possible about everything. But her fight or flight just.. Will. Not. Disengage.
We had a conversation about trying another therapist, and she agreed, but she still didn't feel she needed in-patient care. She booked an in person session with one who specializes in behavioral health and trauma.
Then she starts experiencing distortions in her perception. Shadows when she closes her eyes. Rooms appearing smaller than they should. The voice track on TV shows not appearing to line up with actors' lip movements. Just little distortions, but they scared the absolute living shit out of her.
That fear led to some horrific dissociation, where it's like she's losing context on everything. She doesn't know what's happening and feels like nothing is real anymore. Nothing makes sense.
She was still stuck on there being an investigation, but it was evolving. It wasn't her old job being investigated anymore, it was her father for child abuse from when she was young. Then it was us for neglecting our pets (because we don't take our snake out very often and occasionally forget a regular nail trimming for the dog, but they're otherwise very well cared for). Then it was her father again, but for elder abuse, because her grandmother (who insists on managing her own medications) accidentally overdosed one day.
She became even more despondent, frequently breaking out into panic attacks and crying fits, which I just continued to try and help her through. Ice packs, reassurances that she was safe, there was no threat, etc. Truth be told, I was terrified too.
Finally, two days before her appointment, she had a massive panic attack about it being Memorial Day weekend. She couldn't explain why, just that it didn't make sense. She finally says she thinks she needs a hospital, which she's been completely opposed to until this point.
I rushed her to the emergency room, and that was a mess because it was the middle of the night so they couldn't find a bed anywhere in a more appropriate facility that late. They didn't really have any mental health resources themselves, so all they could do was give her some medications to calm her nerves and help her sleep through the night until they could find a bed.
The hospital.. was not good for her either. After a while, she just kept begging me to take her home. She just wanted to sleep together in our own bed, but they'd decided that between the bouts of confusion, paranoia, and admitting that she has had thoughts of suicide in the past, she was a danger to herself and couldn't leave.
They took her phone, leaving her in a blank room, and thanks to her work and the fact the most recent retraumatizing came from a healthcare environment, constantly triggered by the sounds of call lights and such in the emergency room outside.
All I could do was hold her, and keep reminding her that she's safe, and that everyone there just wants to help, but they're just limited in the ways they can until they find a bed somewhere. She just kept repeating that she wasn't actually getting any treatment, and to be fair she basically wasn't, but I just had to keep asking her to hold out a little longer, because they were trying to find her a facility that had the ability to.
They did finally, this morning, but it was about 130 miles away. They let me take her there myself though, which was a huge plus to know we'd get that last bit of time together.
On the way, however, she starts telling me how horrible of a person she is. At one point, she asks if I'm taking her to prison. I asked her what she could possibly go to prison for, and she just says incredibly minor things from the past like downloading a movie, (very rarely) doing this or that drug, etc.
I just kept reassuring her that I'm taking her to a crisis center where they'll be able to help her figure out where this is coming from, and that in no way is she in trouble legally. Everyone involved in this just wants to help her.
It's at this point I realize.. they took her phone. All these little connections she was making via Facebook and such, suddenly unavailable. She'd also decided once and for all that I wasn't the problem. So now all she had left was herself. She was being held at the hospital against her will. The "investigation" was no longer into her work, it was into her, because that's all that was left.
She tells me she's going to go away (to prison) for a long time, but to just know how much she loves me. She wishes we could've just had a simple life together, but she ruined that for us. She was just so sorry. I just kept reassuring her that nothing was ruined, and we can and will still work towards that life together, she just needs help that's beyond what I can provide so we can get back to that.
Then finally, after a long goodbye.. I dropped her off.
The facility is very small (literally a regular house in a regular neighborhood, so only a few patients getting a lot of 1x1 care), and very soft spoken and compassionate staff. Practically everything is optional right down to the daily therapy, which made me really happy to hear given it seems like that should ease her mind on the prison train of thought. She's even allowed to leave for good whenever she wants, with the one caveat being that I or a family member would need to pick her up.
It doesn't have visiting hours though, and I couldn't even go in with her.. that kills me. They don't have HIPAA forms, so just walking through the door is a violation. But she gets to keep her phone at all times with the exception of bedtime, just to make sure she gets some sleep. She told me a bit ago that she's nervous coming into this new environment, but everyone there has been nothing but incredibly welcoming and empathetic towards her.
Not to make this situation about me, because it's so far from it, but my heart is just so broken.
I've never felt anything so horrible. Not even remotely close. I feel like I, myself, need therapy after this.
I'm still so confused. Did I just miss the cracks of this coming on? Or was it really that sudden? I swear I would've noticed her behavior change.
I'm so angry with her toxic fucking coworkers, who it seems like ultimately sent her into this downward spiral. I'm so angry with her family for being.. well, who they are.
I'm so angry with myself for not trying harder to get her to leave that job sooner, just because I didn't want to press the issue since she's her own person and capable of making her own decisions. But I saw the stress it was putting on her. I should've done more.
I'm so scared of what comes next. Will she ever normalize out and heal? If so, when? Days? Weeks? Months? How is this experience going to change her? Admittedly, given we live in the US, how in the fuck are we going to afford this (though as long as she's getting the help she needs, that's far from my primary concern, but still something I have to figure out)?
It feels like my whole world came crashing down around me. She is my person. She's one of the biggest reasons I get out of bed in the morning. My favorite parts of the day are crawling into bed together and waking up to each other, like we've been doing for ten fucking years.
Her absence in our home is utterly suffocating, knowing the hell she's going through while there's practically nothing I can do for her except be there for her when she wants to text or talk on the phone.
I doubt anyone is going to read this whole book I've written here, but just being able to type it all out sequentially like this has been a bit cathartic. But I still just have no idea how to feel. What to do. I'm so lost.

Of course it’s raining today but not only that it’s humid, perfect weather for a sad day.
Today I ended things with a new friend because they turned out kind of weird and hostile to me In a way? And although they were a new friend it still saddens me a little since it felt like we connected at first.
Than I started remembering my ex’s and the guy who ghosted me a little over a month ago, I was saving up money to see him and we’ve talked for almost two months and it seemed great, then boom, ghosted. He seemed to be in the same situation as me, not many friends, and we had deep talks, slept on the phone together, hell, even sent him a nude or two.
Then on Tiktok a friend was suggested to me and it was the friend who dropped me with no explanation before graduating high school, and it was a sad situation. She posted a tiktok appreciating her new friend who she always shitted on with me, still sometimes feels like I’m in the twilight zone.
Now I feel all alone again, at 19, of course my young adult years I should be enjoying. I feel sad I can’t go on long drives with friends, get food, and have JUST someone special like that in my life again, I haven’t gone out with friends in MONTHS.

This is my third time posting this question with the last being 6 months ago and the first a year ago. I'd like to grab another data set from the current group participating in this sub. ACL (average credit limit) is arrived at when you take your TCL (total credit limits) and divide them by your total number of cards. To be clear we're talking personal revolvers only here. As an example if someone has 3 credit cards and their limits are $7000, $10000 and $11500 you'd arrive at a TCL of $28,500 which divided by 3 returns an ACL of $9500.
Most reports suggest that the average American has an ACL of $8000-$9000 from what I've seen.
From the first thread I started on this subject a year ago, with 20+ responses the average ACL on here was around $13,000 - sort of expected that it would be > the $8k-$9k average based on the sample being credit card enthusiasts for the most part.
From the second thread I started on the subject 6 months ago, there was a much greater sample size of responses, 92, compared to the first group. From that data set the average ACL of the group was $12,196.
Anyway, what is your ACL?

Some people believe the fast pace and movement of the last few CoD games killed off CoD’s active playerbase, that “sweaty players and skillgaps” are the cause. It seems like even Infinity Ward thought this, hence the way MWII is designed. After doing a lot of research and connecting the dots, I don’t think this is correct.
Let’s start with the reported loss of players towards the end of the original Warzone. CoD experienced a 50 million player loss - the majority of these left over the release of Vanguard/Caldera. It has nothing to do with the movement or skillgap. If the skillgap was really a concern, player counts would have fallen off a cliff after a few months of MW19/Verdansk, but they didn’t.
The majority of people didn’t like Vanguard upon launch and they certainly didn’t like the Caldera map. The switch from a city based map to a rural based map turned off a huge chunk of Warzone players.
Let’s focus on the current PC player counts - Steam numbers are live source of the PC playerbase. It’s normal for the playerbase of a game to drop after launch, but what’s supposed to happen is a large peak with each season that slowly falls off. What we can see is that MWII is on a steady downhill, regardless of season updates. Steam is a great source of active playerbase numbers, but it isn’t the only source we’ve had.
In Spain, Activision allowed the OXO Museo museum to stream the live player count numbers of Warzone 2, MWII and DMZ for one day. This was leaked on Twitter. For whatever reason, this didn’t actually get as much attention as it should have. The information revealed just how many players play the current games on a daily basis. From there we learned that Warzone 2 (including DMZ) had a player count of 424,00. This is for all platforms combined. This was in late January. Steam numbers for last month show 102,946 as a daily player count. Using this information, we can calculate the ratio of daily console to PC players is 4:1.
Apex Legends (only PC) routinely averages around 200k+ players on PC. Even if the ratio of console to PC players is different with this game, give CoD the benefit of the doubt since it’s more console focused, let’s say console to PC ratio is lower at 2:1. This still theoretically results in that game having 50% higher player counts (all platforms) than Warzone 2 and DMZ combined. This is a far cry from the Verdansk days where Warzone was played much more than Apex. This is reflected in Twitch viewership. People like to claim Twitch viewership isn’t a good assessment of popularity, but regardless of how casual or hardcore a game is - if the game is played a lot, it will both be streamed a lot and have a lot of people watching said streams. Fortnite is a very casual game as an example, with a large audience of people watching. Apex has significantly more people streaming and watching it than Warzone 2.
Going even further with this, let’s compare Multiplayer. The OXO Museo showed 184,000 as the daily player count. Compare this to the golden era of CoD, like Black Ops 2 and MW2. These games showed the global player count in the Multiplayer menu, something they don’t do anymore as they’re likely embarrassed of the drop. Back then, player counts averaged half a million and sometimes peaked to 2 million, even several months into the life cycles. Average daily player count is a direct measure of player retention. MWII has significantly worse player retention than its classic ancestors. Now obviously, times change and some people move on. But the difference between modern Multiplayer retention and classic Multiplayer retention is too large to ignore and the gameplay design is a direct cause of this.
What people don’t seem to understand is the concept of rewarding gameplay. When you dumb a game down and reduce its skillgap, so that the most ultra casuals can enjoy it - it doesn’t result in more money long-term. Yes, maybe initial sales will be higher but not micro-transactions. Why? For people to buy cosmetics, they need to at least be somewhat dedicated to the game. They don’t have to be “hardcore”, but let’s say these people are semi-casual - let’s label these semi-casuals as “midcore”. They’re not casual but they’re also not hardcore. It’s not casuals buying Blueprints en masse, it’s midcore and hardcore players - they’re the “whales” wasting money on cosmetics.
A game that has a very small skillgap isn’t rewarding. It may be gratifying to the masses of casuals that play it a handful of times per month, but not rewarding to the dedicated or midcore. If the game doesn’t have a sense of reward within its core gameplay (not just in Ranked), people find little use in “grinding” it and therefore spend less money on micro-transactions. This is why while MWII sold extremely well (casuals mopped it up), but micro-transaction revenue is lower than in Cold War - this Treyarch game at the time was praised by investors due to the amount of Bundles, Blueprints and Operators it sold. Cold War plays like a transitional CoD game with a moderately sized skillgap, see the correlation here? Half the coin in modern games is in micro-transactions. It’s all well and good selling the most initial copies, but if player numbers drop below the past high standards of retention and micro-transaction revenue drops - it isn’t the best long-term strategy.
CoD Campaigns are often not talked about regarding casuals, but they should be. People seem to think that casuals flocking to MWII is because the Multiplayer skillgap shrank. Nope. People love realistic/immersive story experiences. It’s why Sony is able to rake in so much exclusive cash, as the market for a well polished, immersive story experience is always hungry. The vast majority of casual CoD players play the Campaign, no/very little Multiplayer and never touch the game again. This is no different with MWII and it’s for this reason that tailoring Multiplayer gameplay specifically to target casuals was a terrible idea.
CoD Multiplayer may not thrive off the small hardcore, but the midcore is the majority of its active player base. If the hardcore is roughly 1% of CoD customers, the midcore is roughly 10%. Each game sells around 25 million copies each year. Only around 1% of those numbers are playing Multiplayer each day. The majority of casuals buy CoD for its Campaign, leaving a smaller percentage of casuals and the midcore making up the Multiplayer numbers.
This is why the developers should’ve listened to the midcore and hardcore players for Multiplayer feedback, not casuals. Listen to the casuals for Campaign and co-op feedback. Casual players are not your typical “gamers”. They’re more money conscious as the hobby is not a large part of their life. They’re more likely to play games for “their moneys worth”, which is usually in the Campaign mode. Making CoD Multiplayer accessible is important to convert the percentage of casuals that are curious about Multiplayer into midcore players, but dedicating design philosophy solely around casual players was the worst decision they’ve ever made.
The numbers don’t lie. The opinions of the midcore and hardcore align with them. Player retention is at an all time low and it’s because the developers and Activision as a whole, are focusing on the wrong players with their design philosophy.

Some people believe the fast pace and movement of the last few CoD games killed off CoD’s active playerbase, that “sweaty players and skillgaps” are the cause. It seems like even Infinity Ward thought this, hence the way MWII is designed. After doing a lot of research and connecting the dots, I don’t think this is correct.
Let’s start with the reported loss of players towards the end of the original Warzone. CoD experienced a 50 million player loss - the majority of these left over the release of Vanguard/Caldera. It has nothing to do with the movement or skillgap. If the skillgap was really a concern, player counts would have fallen off a cliff after a few months of MW19/Verdansk, but they didn’t.
The majority of people didn’t like Vanguard upon launch and they certainly didn’t like the Caldera map. The switch from a city based map to a rural based map turned off a huge chunk of Warzone players.
Let’s focus on the current PC player counts - Steam numbers are live source of the PC playerbase. It’s normal for the playerbase of a game to drop after launch, but what’s supposed to happen is a large peak with each season that slowly falls off. What we can see is that MWII is on a steady downhill, regardless of season updates. Steam is a great source of active playerbase numbers, but it isn’t the only source we’ve had.
In Spain, Activision allowed the OXO Museo museum to stream the live player count numbers of Warzone 2, MWII and DMZ for one day. This was leaked on Twitter. For whatever reason, this didn’t actually get as much attention as it should have. The information revealed just how many players play the current games on a daily basis. From there we learned that Warzone 2 (including DMZ) had a player count of 424,00. This is for all platforms combined. This was in late January. Steam numbers for last month show 102,946 as a daily player count. Using this information, we can calculate the ratio of daily console to PC players is 4:1.
Apex Legends (only PC) routinely averages around 200k+ players on PC. Even if the ratio of console to PC players is different with this game, give CoD the benefit of the doubt since it’s more console focused, let’s say console to PC ratio is lower at 2:1. This still theoretically results in that game having 50% higher player counts (all platforms) than Warzone 2 and DMZ combined. This is a far cry from the Verdansk days where Warzone was played much more than Apex. This is reflected in Twitch viewership. People like to claim Twitch viewership isn’t a good assessment of popularity, but regardless of how casual or hardcore a game is - if the game is played a lot, it will both be streamed a lot and have a lot of people watching said streams. Fortnite is a very casual game as an example, with a large audience of people watching. Apex has significantly more people streaming and watching it than Warzone 2.
Going even further with this, let’s compare Multiplayer. The OXO Museo showed 184,000 as the daily player count. Compare this to the golden era of CoD, like Black Ops 2 and MW2. These games showed the global player count in the Multiplayer menu, something they don’t do anymore as they’re likely embarrassed of the drop. Back then, player counts averaged half a million and sometimes peaked to 2 million, even several months into the life cycles. Average daily player count is a direct measure of player retention. MWII has significantly worse player retention than its classic ancestors. Now obviously, times change and some people move on. But the difference between modern Multiplayer retention and classic Multiplayer retention is too large to ignore and the gameplay design is a direct cause of this.
What people don’t seem to understand is the concept of rewarding gameplay. When you dumb a game down and reduce its skillgap, so that the most ultra casuals can enjoy it - it doesn’t result in more money long-term. Yes, maybe initial sales will be higher but not micro-transactions. Why? For people to buy cosmetics, they need to at least be somewhat dedicated to the game. They don’t have to be “hardcore”, but let’s say these people are semi-casual - let’s label these semi-casuals as “midcore”. They’re not casual but they’re also not hardcore. It’s not casuals buying Blueprints en masse, it’s midcore and hardcore players - they’re the “whales” wasting money on cosmetics.
A game that has a very small skillgap isn’t rewarding. It may be gratifying to the masses of casuals that play it a handful of times per month, but not rewarding to the dedicated or midcore. If the game doesn’t have a sense of reward within its core gameplay (not just in Ranked), people find little use in “grinding” it and therefore spend less money on micro-transactions. This is why while MWII sold extremely well (casuals mopped it up), but micro-transaction revenue is lower than in Cold War - this Treyarch game at the time was praised by investors due to the amount of Bundles, Blueprints and Operators it sold. Cold War plays like a transitional CoD game with a moderately sized skillgap, see the correlation here? Half the coin in modern games is in micro-transactions. It’s all well and good selling the most initial copies, but if player numbers drop below the past high standards of retention and micro-transaction revenue drops - it isn’t the best long-term strategy.
CoD Campaigns are often not talked about regarding casuals, but they should be. People seem to think that casuals flocking to MWII is because the Multiplayer skillgap shrank. Nope. People love realistic/immersive story experiences. It’s why Sony is able to rake in so much exclusive cash, as the market for a well polished, immersive story experience is always hungry. The vast majority of casual CoD players play the Campaign, no/very little Multiplayer and never touch the game again. This is no different with MWII and it’s for this reason that tailoring Multiplayer gameplay specifically to target casuals was a terrible idea.
CoD Multiplayer may not thrive off the small hardcore, but the midcore is the majority of its active player base. If the hardcore is roughly 1% of CoD customers, the midcore is roughly 10%. Each game sells around 25 million copies each year. Only around 1% of those numbers are playing Multiplayer each day. The majority of casuals buy CoD for its Campaign, leaving a smaller percentage of casuals and the midcore making up the Multiplayer numbers.
This is why the developers should’ve listened to the midcore and hardcore players for Multiplayer feedback, not casuals. Listen to the casuals for Campaign and co-op feedback. Casual players are not your typical “gamers”. They’re more money conscious as the hobby is not a large part of their life. They’re more likely to play games for “their moneys worth”, which is usually in the Campaign mode. Making CoD Multiplayer accessible is important to convert the percentage of casuals that are curious about Multiplayer into midcore players, but dedicating design philosophy solely around casual players was the worst decision they’ve ever made.
The numbers don’t lie. The opinions of the midcore and hardcore align with them. Player retention is at an all time low and it’s because the developers and Activision as a whole, are focusing on the wrong players with their design philosophy.

Some people believe the fast pace and movement of the last few CoD games killed off CoD’s active playerbase, that “sweaty players and skillgaps” are the cause. It seems like even Infinity Ward thought this, hence the way MWII is designed. After doing a lot of research and connecting the dots, I don’t think this is correct.
Let’s start with the reported loss of players towards the end of the original Warzone. CoD experienced a 50 million player loss - the majority of these left over the release of Vanguard/Caldera. It has nothing to do with the movement or skillgap. If the skillgap was really a concern, player counts would have fallen off a cliff after a few months of MW19/Verdansk, but they didn’t.
The majority of people didn’t like Vanguard upon launch and they certainly didn’t like the Caldera map. The switch from a city based map to a rural based map turned off a huge chunk of Warzone players.
Let’s focus on the current PC player counts - Steam numbers are live source of the PC playerbase. It’s normal for the playerbase of a game to drop after launch, but what’s supposed to happen is a large peak with each season that slowly falls off. What we can see is that MWII is on a steady downhill, regardless of season updates. Steam is a great source of active playerbase numbers, but it isn’t the only source we’ve had.
In Spain, Activision allowed the OXO Museo museum to stream the live player count numbers of Warzone 2, MWII and DMZ for one day. This was leaked on Twitter. For whatever reason, this didn’t actually get as much attention as it should have. The information revealed just how many players play the current games on a daily basis. From there we learned that Warzone 2 (including DMZ) had a player count of 424,00. This is for all platforms combined. This was in late January. Steam numbers for last month show 102,946 as a daily player count. Using this information, we can calculate the ratio of daily console to PC players is 4:1.
Apex Legends (only PC) routinely averages around 200k+ players on PC. Even if the ratio of console to PC players is different with this game, give CoD the benefit of the doubt since it’s more console focused, let’s say console to PC ratio is lower at 2:1. This still theoretically results in that game having 50% higher player counts (all platforms) than Warzone 2 and DMZ combined. This is a far cry from the Verdansk days where Warzone was played much more than Apex. This is reflected in Twitch viewership. People like to claim Twitch viewership isn’t a good assessment of popularity, but regardless of how casual or hardcore a game is - if the game is played a lot, it will both be streamed a lot and have a lot of people watching said streams. Fortnite is a very casual game as an example, with a large audience of people watching. Apex has significantly more people streaming and watching it than Warzone 2.
Going even further with this, let’s compare Multiplayer. The OXO Museo showed 184,000 as the daily player count. Compare this to the golden era of CoD, like Black Ops 2 and MW2. These games showed the global player count in the Multiplayer menu, something they don’t do anymore as they’re likely embarrassed of the drop. Back then, player counts averaged half a million and sometimes peaked to 2 million, even several months into the life cycles. Average daily player count is a direct measure of player retention. MWII has significantly worse player retention than its classic ancestors. Now obviously, times change and some people move on. But the difference between modern Multiplayer retention and classic Multiplayer retention is too large to ignore and the gameplay design is a direct cause of this.
What people don’t seem to understand is the concept of rewarding gameplay. When you dumb a game down and reduce its skillgap, so that the most ultra casuals can enjoy it - it doesn’t result in more money long-term. Yes, maybe initial sales will be higher but not micro-transactions. Why? For people to buy cosmetics, they need to at least be somewhat dedicated to the game. They don’t have to be “hardcore”, but let’s say these people are semi-casual - let’s label these semi-casuals as “midcore”. They’re not casual but they’re also not hardcore. It’s not casuals buying Blueprints en masse, it’s midcore and hardcore players - they’re the “whales” wasting money on cosmetics.
A game that has a very small skillgap isn’t rewarding. It may be gratifying to the masses of casuals that play it a handful of times per month, but not rewarding to the dedicated or midcore. If the game doesn’t have a sense of reward within its core gameplay (not just in Ranked), people find little use in “grinding” it and therefore spend less money on micro-transactions. This is why while MWII sold extremely well (casuals mopped it up), but micro-transaction revenue is lower than in Cold War - this Treyarch game at the time was praised by investors due to the amount of Bundles, Blueprints and Operators it sold. Cold War plays like a transitional CoD game with a moderately sized skillgap, see the correlation here? Half the coin in modern games is in micro-transactions. It’s all well and good selling the most initial copies, but if player numbers drop below the past high standards of retention and micro-transaction revenue drops - it isn’t the best long-term strategy.
CoD Campaigns are often not talked about regarding casuals, but they should be. People seem to think that casuals flocking to MWII is because the Multiplayer skillgap shrank. Nope. People love realistic/immersive story experiences. It’s why Sony is able to rake in so much exclusive cash, as the market for a well polished, immersive story experience is always hungry. The vast majority of casual CoD players play the Campaign, no/very little Multiplayer and never touch the game again. This is no different with MWII and it’s for this reason that tailoring Multiplayer gameplay specifically to target casuals was a terrible idea.
CoD Multiplayer may not thrive off the small hardcore, but the midcore is the majority of its active player base. If the hardcore is roughly 1% of CoD customers, the midcore is roughly 10%. Each game sells around 25 million copies each year. Only around 1% of those numbers are playing Multiplayer each day. The majority of casuals buy CoD for its Campaign, leaving a smaller percentage of casuals and the midcore making up the Multiplayer numbers.
This is why the developers should’ve listened to the midcore and hardcore players for Multiplayer feedback, not casuals. Listen to the casuals for Campaign and co-op feedback. Casual players are not your typical “gamers”. They’re more money conscious as the hobby is not a large part of their life. They’re more likely to play games for “their moneys worth”, which is usually in the Campaign mode. Making CoD Multiplayer accessible is important to convert the percentage of casuals that are curious about Multiplayer into midcore players, but dedicating design philosophy solely around casual players was the worst decision they’ve ever made.
The numbers don’t lie. The opinions of the midcore and hardcore align with them. Player retention is at an all time low and it’s because the developers and Activision as a whole, are focusing on the wrong players with their design philosophy.

Bat-Man is now a man with the actual abilities of a Bat. He can fly, hang upside down, cling to surfaces with ease, enhanced senses, etc. Anything a Bat can do and anything a human can do.
He goes up against a much more literal Spider-Man. He has all of Spider-Man’s normal abilities (aside from the comic book level strength that Marvel Spider-Man has)
Both men have 1 month to prepare for a fight to the death.
Both men have average builds and are equal height.

Husband and I are in baby step 3B/4/5 (we own a home but are saving to upgrade, ideally about $300,000 more), and we “have” a budget but aren’t very strict about it and in the last year since we had our baby we have fallen off the wagon a bit. As we work toward our goal to the down payment on a new home within the next 3 years, I think it’s time we have a more specific budget to follow so less falls through the cracks. We’ve been pretty lazy, and the more time I spend back in the TMMO world, the more I realize we can be doing a lot better. I’m not going full scorched-earth, rice-and-beans, but somewhere in-between being totally apathetic and also reaching our financial goals. (In all honesty, I 100% could go full gazelle-intense but my husband works a job he hates and if we cut our lifestyle back more than 10-20% he would go into a deep depression.) We weren’t using sinking funds before so I’m trying this out in June. I took averages for the last three months which is how I came up with these numbers.
Here’s the general outline of our new budget (we live in Bay Area, VHCOL). SF= sinking fund Take home pay- $11500 Mortgage- $4000 Gas/Electric SF- $150 (we have solar, in summer we pay like $40 but winter is higher) Water- $75 AT&T- $225 (2 phones. I’m aware this sucks, but paying them off early saves $0) Internet- $12 (husband’s job gives us $50/month so it’s really $62) Car Insurance- $58 Trash SF-$80 Subscriptions SF-$50 (we have Spotify and then rotate through 2 media subscriptions, currently HBO and STARZ which is under budget) Daycare-$1690 529 Savings- $200 (1 year old, we are 1 and done) Groceries- $1150 (includes household items, diapers, personal items like shampoo, food, and pet food/littemeds) Gas- $140 Home Improvement SF- $200 (we don’t spend even close to this amount but we will be doing stuff to the house before we sell, so this is savings) Eating Out/Entertainment/Stuff We Want but Don’t Need SF- $500 My personal money- $50 (I have a side hussle of “passive” income that makes a few hundred a month which is also part of my personal money. Husband insists it’s mine not ours.) Husband’s personal money- $300 Gifts SF- $125 Medical/Vet SF- $200 Travel SF-$200 Car maintenance and new car SF- $150 (husband thinks I’ll need to replace my 2012 Honda CR-V soon… nothing is wrong with it and I plan on running it into the ground, I couldn’t care less about vehicles, so I figure like 5+ years from now I’ll get another one) House savings: $2000
Looking for general input. Are my budget line items specific enough? Instead of sinking funds, does it make sense to just make a general savings account and take out whatever we need when necessary and delete those line items? Is it worth the effort to disaggregate the groceries to pet care and household and food? How muc should we really expect to spend on home improvements before selling?