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Career Guidance

2011.12.25 00:33 blindteach Career Guidance

A place to discuss career options, to ask questions and give advice!

2012.03.19 20:59 roger_ Low-cost software defined radio (RTL2832 SDR) community

A subreddit for the low-cost software defined radio (SDR) community. While originally dedicated to the [RTL2832U USB rtl-sdr]( project, relevant content related to general SDR, RF, and similar projects are also welcomed.

2010.08.13 20:06 World of Tanks for PC and Consoles

World of Tanks is a PvP MMO game created by international game developer Wargaming. We're Redditors with a passion for gaming, tanks, and everything in between! This is a subreddit where we share WoT news, strategy tips, tank choices, and opinions. We have a number of affiliated clans on the NA, EU, and ASIA servers for all levels of game experience. Come join the conversation!

2023.06.03 09:50 sorryfunnel How do I keep qBittorrent running even when the windows is closed in Fedora Linux Workstation?

Whenever I close the window of qBittorrent, it prompts a confirmation dialog box stating
"Some files are currently transferring. Are you sure you want to quit Bittorrent?"
I don't want to end the processes of qBittorrent but I want to just close the window of qBittorrent while letting it run in the background as I seed my completed torrents. This seems to be easily working in any Windows OS app based from my past experiences (where I simply just close it and the icon becomes available in the lower right corner of the taskbar), but this is not the case for Fedora Linux Workstation. How can i close the qBittorrent window while still letting it seed/download in the background, and once I have done that, how can I check or verify if it is seeding or working in the background (i.e. add an qBittorrent icon in the top bar)?
I am not sure which information should I include in this post (so please feel free to ask for more information in the comments section), but below are the details of my client and OS.
qBittorrent v4.5.2 (64-bit)Qt: 5.15.8Libtorrent: 1.78.0OpenSSL: 3.0.8zlib: 1.2.12
OS: Fedora Linux 37 (Workstation Edition)Host: ThinkPad L430Kernel: 6.3.4-101.fc37.x86_64Shell: bash 5.2.15DE: GNOME 43.5WM: MutterWM Theme: AdwaitaTheme: Adwaita [GTK2/3]Icons: Adwaita [GTK2/3]Terminal: gnome-terminalCPU: Intel i3-3120M (4) @ 2.500GHzGPU: Intel 3rd Gen Core processor Graphics ControllerMemory: 3183MiB / 7754MiB
Thank you in advance for your answers!
submitted by sorryfunnel to qBittorrent [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:48 BlueDoggerz Im supposed to leave for Israel in 9h but my gerbil is dying

Hi For background info: 1. birthright is a program in the US for 18-26yo Jews to get a “free” trip to israel 2. Kippah is my gerbil
So my sibling and I decided about half a year ago we would go on Birthright together since he was 25 and its his last year eligible. I didnt tell him this- im not super interested in travelling- its just kind of exhausting and stuff for me- but i wanted to go with him and he was excited. First- its not actually free. Most of it is, but there is a $250 deposit that is refunded (unless you cancel), $100 in cash for tips required, $50 insurance required, and one meal a day. Considering all this was told to us after the deposit- i wasnt expecting it. I owe my parents money right now because of college expenses and its been extremely hard to pay for also converters and supplies in addition to that stuff- plus getting to NY for the initial flight.
Now my gerbil is elderly. He is extremely important to me- and we are close. For perspective- my roommate fed him for a week while I was away once- he his every time she entered the room. I opened the door and said “Hi Kippah!” And he immediately came out. He also comes when called and ive worked a lot with him to get him to trust me. Yesterday when I woke up, i decided to clean his cage since i was about to be gone for two weeks. I found him in his bedding- he could barely walk and constantly was falling. He hadnt been able to drink or eat since i had last seen him do so about 24h earlier likely. (He sleeps a lot). He now has to have the water bottle held up to him to drink, can barely walk, and is in a carrier. Hes not going to survive the two weeks im gone. I dont want to go. I dont want to leave him. I dont want him to die alone or with a stranger. I dont want him to be abandoned as he is doing so awful. I didnt even really want to go on the trip regardless. Im okay facing the consequences of my parents and financially. I am aware that not going would also hurt my sibling a lot, though i think he would also understand. If i dont go, i think id meet my sibling in ny like planned and then go back to my parents house for the two weeks and bring the gerbil instead. I feel like if i dont go though, id be an absolute d*cl to my sibling and itll have wasted so much money
I dont know what to do, what to say to my sibling (he is slightly aware of the gerbil’s situation but not me), i dont know
submitted by BlueDoggerz to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:46 Final_Ad_9751 Concerns about the Cost and Structure of the Nepali Army: Impact on the Economy and Society

I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind regarding the Nepali army: its size and purpose. It's something that often leaves me wondering about the allocation of resources and the effectiveness of our military strategy.
Consider this: Nepal has a population of around 30 million ( 3 Crore) people, and we have an army of approximately 100,000 personnel. While it's important to have a capable defense force to safeguard our nation, we need to question the practicality of such a large army.
Let's face it: we cannot realistically go to war with our neighboring countries like India or China. The scale and power disparity make it impractical and potentially catastrophic for us. So, what is the use of maintaining an army of this size?
Don't get me wrong, I understand the need for a well-trained and disciplined army to maintain internal security, and provide disaster relief. However, the sheer number of personnel and the associated costs raise concerns about resource allocation and the impact on our economy.
You know, one thing that bothers me is the retirement benefits for army personnel. They can join the army at a young age, like 16, and retire by the time they're 32. And guess what? They get a pension until they die, and even after that, their spouses keep receiving it. It's great for them, of course, but it puts a lot of financial pressure on the government.
Moreover, it's not just the army that raises eyebrows. We also have the Armed Police Force (APF) with around 60,000 personnel. Again, the question arises: why do we need such a large organization in a country that is deep in poverty?
What's even more concerning is the reports and rumors that many army personnel end up working as personal servants in the houses of senior officers. This misuse of our army's capabilities and manpower is disheartening. Instead of serving the nation, they are serving the personal needs of a few individuals. This raises questions about fairness, transparency, and the proper utilization of our valuable resources. As a citizen, it's disheartening to see our country struggling to provide basic services and improve the living conditions of our people, while a significant portion of our resources is directed towards maintaining these forces. The money spent on the army and APF could be channeled into initiatives that directly benefit our citizens, such as healthcare, education, infrastructure, and poverty alleviation programs.
I believe it's high time for our government to critically evaluate the necessity and cost-effectiveness of our defense forces. We should focus on creating a leaner, more efficient structure that aligns with our country's needs and economic realities. By doing so, we can redirect resources towards uplifting the lives of our people and driving sustainable development. I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter. What do you think about the size and purpose of our army and the Armed Police Force?
Let's save Nepal from this Army Burden !!!
submitted by Final_Ad_9751 to Nepal [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:46 Darker_Mark I notice something in the ATSV references

Did you guys notice that there was not a single reference to MCU's Spider-Man while showing cannon event, while specifically showing Tobey and Andrew's?
The only time he was directly mentioned was when Miguel talks about a "nerd with Doctor Strange".
I'm totally guessing in the dark here, but I think that MCU's Peter is an anomaly they same way Miles is.
My theory is thay Miguel is somehow wrong in his interpretation of why the universe he was collapsed, because we have seem Miles' universe and it is all right, even though it's full of anomalies. Maybe the MCU works the same way.
I don't think they need to solve this or even that the MCU gotta be involved, I actually prefer it to remain it's own thing, but lore-wise, that would be cool.
submitted by Darker_Mark to Spiderman [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:46 EstablishmentThat142 The Shopify PROFIT MACHINE Checklist. (Website Optimisation, Advertising Hacks + MORE)

After years of managing my own e-commerce marketing firm I’ve learnt a thing or two. Here’s the some of the “industry secrets.”

Online Store Optimisation

First impressions count. Your audience is your date. Your store is your face. You want it looking good.

Pavlov Effect

Coca Cola is incredibly unhealthy, but for some reason we still drink it. This is due to the fact we associate it with the Olympics, Christmas and much more. Nike is the same, just a regular sportswear brand, but if it wasn’t for Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Roger Federer it wouldn’t be the brand it is today. There’s a reason this works, and you can use it too.
In marketing, the Pavlov effect refers to the association of a conditioned stimulus (CS) with an unconditioned stimulus (US) to elicit a specific response. The CS can be a brand logo, jingle, color, or any other sensory cue, while the US is something that naturally triggers a response, such as a positive experience or emotion.
The goal of utilizing the Pavlov effect in marketing is to create positive associations and trigger desired responses in consumers. Here are a few examples of how it can be applied:
It's important to note that ethical considerations should be taken into account when utilizing the Pavlov effect in marketing. Transparency and authenticity are crucial to maintain trust with consumers and ensure that the associations created are positive and aligned with the brand's values.
Overall, the Pavlov effect in marketing involves creating associations between stimuli and desired responses to influence consumer behavior and build brand recognition and loyalty.

Social Proof & Authority

Social proof in marketing refers to the psychological phenomenon where people look to others' actions or opinions to determine their own behavior. It is a powerful tool that leverages the influence of social validation to persuade potential customers.
Here are some common examples of social proof in marketing:
Remember, the effectiveness of social proof can vary depending on the target audience and the context in which it is presented.

Generating Scarcity

Generating scarcity in marketing involves creating a sense of limited availability or urgency to encourage customers to take action quickly. By making customers perceive that a product or offer is scarce or time-limited, businesses can increase the desire to purchase and reduce the chances of procrastination or missed opportunities. Here are a few strategies to generate scarcity:
Remember to use scarcity ethically and transparently. Customers should feel a genuine sense of urgency and benefit from the limited availability or time frame. Misusing or overusing scarcity tactics may lead to a loss of trust and credibility.

Advertising Strategies

For the average drop shipper, money is a problem. Therefore we must come up with creative ways to compete against market leaders with exceptionally higher budgets.

Final Points

submitted by EstablishmentThat142 to geekhustle [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:46 MD_rexx Smite works on Steam Deck

So after close to a year of not working smite can now be played on steamdeck without any issues again. You simply have to move the EasyAntiCheat .so files from this directory: /home/deck/.local/share/steam/steamapps/common/smite/binaries/easyanticheat
To both of these directories: /home/deck/.local/share/steam/steamapps/common/smite/binaries/Win64
Then set the game to force start via Proton experimental and it works perfect!
I even did it wrong once by only copying the files into only one directory and it simply didnt start the game, so dont be afraid to try this.
Credit goes to the people on protonDB, i just thought it might be appriciated in this subreddit.
submitted by MD_rexx to Smite [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:45 CB_scorpio Entity DeFi: MultiversX Devnet Adventure Guide by @EntityFinance

Entity DeFi: MultiversX Devnet Adventure Guide by @EntityFinance
DeFi Summer is upon us! While there are some great protocols already live on MultiversX mainnet, today we will take a look at some exciting upcoming features that are publicly available on the devnet. Join us for a deep dive into the ecosystem, potential synergies, and the future of DeFi.

Entity DeFi: MultiversX Devnet Adventure Guide

Keep up with the evolution

You know that feeling when you discover a valuable new financial tool?
Expect to have that feeling again and again in the coming months on MultiversX. While this is a positive sign for the ecosystem, it can become a bit overwhelming if you’re not already a DeFi expert.
The more protocols and strategies available, the more research and planning you need to keep up with the opportunities. Reading threads and articles is a great way to build your knowledge, but there is no replacement for hands-on learning.
This is where devnet exploration comes into play.
Although the APRs and other figures might not represent what the real values will be on mainnet, practicing DeFi on the MultiversX devnet is an excellent low-risk method to learn firsthand and gain an insightful preview into the next wave of growth.
Did we mention there are some great airdrop rewards as well? Let’s dive in!

The future of DeFi is already live on MVX devnet

AshSwap: next-level aggregation and more

As the first stable-swap on MultiversX, AshSwap has already established itself as one of the leaders of this evolving DeFi ecosystem.
The AshSwap Team has continued working hard to continuously improve their protocol since their mainnet launch earlier this year. This includes AshSwap developing integrations with projects such as Hatom, JewelSwap, Autoscale, and SALSA- plus building some of their own new features.
For example, you can now try out AshSwap’s upcoming DEX aggregator.

AshSwap is building a Dynamic Route Trading DEX Aggregator for MultiversX
DEX aggregators are important for a thriving DeFi ecosystem since they help find the most efficient way to swap tokens from several different exchanges. While there are already some existing aggregators on MultiversX such as JEXchange and Arda, these solutions use the static trade routing method that finds the single most efficient swap route.
AshSwap’s DEX aggregator, on the other hand, goes a step further by using dynamic trade routing. This means that AshSwap can leverage multiple routes at once for maximum efficiency. As seen in the graphic above, this approach can lead to some creative routes that function like mini arbitrage opportunities for swappers.
For low liquidity pairs, this can be especially helpful for achieving the best possible exchange rate without draining liquidity from a single pool. To see how this mechanism works in practice, head on over to the AshSwap devnet!

Autoscale: making DeFi more accessible

Have you heard of Autoscale? The team at Autoscale is building a powerful set of automated tools that are all about simplifying the Web3 investing experience.
Autoscale could become a highly valuable piece of the MultiversX ecosystem due to the way it empowers investors to easily capitalize on different DeFi opportunities. For example, users will be able to put their funds in vaults that automatically optimizes their yields over time.
Autoscale can also automatically compound investments at the optimal frequency instead of requiring users to constantly re-invest manually.

Autoscale’s automatic staking will make MultiversX DeFi more user friendly than ever
While Autoscale’s autocompound feature is still under development, you can already try out some of their features on MultiversX devnet.
Overall, this project shows that DeFi is not a zero-sum game, and that building tools on top of other protocols such as AshSwap or DX25 can produce additional value for all involved stakeholders.

DX25: next-generation concentrated liquidity

DX25 is a new DEX that will supercharge MultiversX DeFi with a range of powerful and innovative liquidity tools.
Although DX25 is building a full suite of exciting features such as on-chain derivatives and more, concentrated liquidity will be at the heart of their platform.
Improving on the Uniswap V3 model, DX25 allows users to laser-target their liquidity for supercharged yields. Instead of splitting fees with every other LP in a pool, you can experiment with precisely focusing your liquidity to earn several times more than on other exchanges.

DX25’s concentrated liquidity will make MVX DeFi more efficient and more powerful
Currently, you can check out their devnet site to practice swapping and adding liquidity. This is a great chance to get comfortable with the different options such as fine-tuning fee levels and price ranges, so you can operate with maximum precision once the DX25 mainnet launches on MVX.
And with $100,000 in $DX25 tokens in rewards for devnet users, there are certainly a lot of reasons to start checking out DX25 now.

Hatom: enhancing liquidity for all

Are you ready for Hatom?
Hatom is an emerging DeFi titan on MultiversX with a focus on secure, scalable tools like Liquid Staking and Lending & Borrowing.
While the project’s token launch on xLaunchpad and mainnet release are both coming up right around the corner, you can already test out their flagship features on devnet.

Hatom’s Lending module is already available to test on devnet
Both of Hatom’s core modules will open up exciting new liquidity flows for MultiversX DeFi. The Lending & Borrowing feature will function like a decentralized bank, where users can choose to take on loans for new investments or supply their assets and earn attractive interest rates.
On the other hand, Hatom’s advanced Liquid Staking solution will take a core function of MultiversX to the next level. 65% of all EGLD is currently staked and hard at work securing the network. With Hatom’s liquid staking, this liquidity can be unlocked, with a range of use cases for investors to make their staked EGLD work even harder for them.
Instead of having your staked funds just sitting with a validator, Hatom users will be able to tap into their liquidity and use it in other ways. For example, they can join pools on AshSwap or DX25, or buy NFTs on Xoxno.

Liquid Staking from Hatom will also be a game-changer with a range of DeFi synergies
For example, lenders can earn rewards from supplying liquidity and liquid staking at the same time. Or, stakers can lend part of their liquid EGLD and deposit some of it as collateral to borrow the same asset. This way, the increase of lending income can help offset increases in borrowing costs. Meanwhile, you can put your borrowed assets to work by farming on another protocol.
You can continue building your position as long as the ratio between your borrowed and supplied assets, known as your health factor, remains above a certain threshold to avoid liquidation. With the rewards of your additional farming or other strategies, it’s possible to pay back your loan- thus increasing your health factor and decreasing your risk.
While the amount of potential integrations is vast, you can already try out a number of them on the MVX devnet.

OneDex: powerful community tools

OneDex is another new protocol on MultiversX building a range decentralized tools for Web3 investors.
OneDex has already released their permissionless DEX and farms, as well as a launchpad that is open to ecosystem projects. They also made a splash recently by announcing an upcoming bridge to Solana that could bring some new liquidity to MultiversX.
But that’s not all!

Limit Orders are one of the exciting upcoming features for community project OneDex
Limit orders are a powerful financial tool, which are beloved by TradFi traders for their ability to execute orders with a high amount of precision. Using limit orders, investors are able to set up a swap that will only execute when an asset reaches a certain level.
OneDex is bringing this feature to MultiversX and have already made it available to try out on their devnet. This could drive additional liquidity and trade volume to the network by allowing users to automate buy orders at the bottom or sell orders at the top of a trading range.
Tools like this make OneDex an intriguing project to watch during MultiversX DeFi Summer and beyond.

Why a vibrant DeFi ecosystem matters

DeFi is all about improving on traditional finance and centralized Web3 platforms to deliver more transparency and greater yields.
However, there is no one-size-fits all strategy for DeFi investors. There are a range of different opportunities to suit different needs, and your approach may vary depending on factors such as your investment timeline and risk appetite.
Some users may farm, some may lend, and some may borrow. And this is just the tip of the iceberg! Beyond having just a few popular protocols, it’s valuable to have a range of DeFi tools, opportunities, and analytics to fit different needs and circumstances.
In a thriving DeFi ecosystem, users can even be creative and link together different protocols to create the most optimal investments possible based on their own personal criteria.
As a growth engine for Web3, Entity encourages further DeFi development to support these kind of innovative strategies and take the ecosystem to new heights.

More synergies, more growth

There are still a number of important gaps to fill despite recent progress in the MultiversX DeFi space.

These are just a few of the key primitives that empower a vibrant DeFi ecosystem
utoscale is bringing yield optimizers, DX25 is bringing derivatives, Hatom and AshSwap are bringing decentralized stablecoins, along with many more powerful tools from these projects and others.
In addition to the protocols mentioned above, there are several other innovative DeFi builders in the community such as JEXchange, Proteo, along with many more.
And other ecosystem projects such as Combased, Epunks, and Staking Agency have started building useful DeFi products such as lending, borrowing and leveraged yield farming on JewelSwap and liquid staking on SALSA.

Build your own DeFi strategy

Between all of these protocols, there will be more and more potential synergies and creative strategies for investors to piece together.
NFT collectors will soon be able borrow using their NFTs as collateral on JewelSwap to buy launchpad tickets, secure profits and then close their position after launch.
While there will be plenty of opportunities to increase your leverage for more risk and reward, there will also be new strategies for more cautious traders or investors with less time on their hands.
For example, investors will be able to put their tokens from other projects into an Autoscale vault to maximize their returns without needing any major time commitment to maintain their position.
Or, users will soon be able to act like their own hedge funds by using leveraged positions and opening up shorts on platforms like DX25 to reduce their portfolio risk and help ensure positive outcomes.
With some research, imagination, and first-hand practice, the sky is the limit for investors in this increasingly vibrant DeFi universe.

MultiversX DeFi: let’s build together

Throughout each of their Web3 journeys, we look forward to supporting these innovative protocols and helping make MultiversX a top DeFi chain.
For more information about these projects, check out the recordings of their Entity Project Dialogues Twitter Spaces:
The Entity Builders Forum on June 10 will also feature a deep-dive panel about DeFi, titled ‘DeFi, Payments & Data: Building a Decentralized Future’.
Sign up for free now!

Get ready for Entity

Ok, brave pioneers! We are reaching the end of today’s adventure guide, but our MultiversX DeFi journey is only beginning.
In the meantime, make sure to follow Entity on Twitter and join our Telegram channel for all the latest news, contests and more!

Enhancing the MultiversX Ecosystem
Entity is a Launchpad and suite of cutting-edge tools for Web3 builders and investors. Entity is focused on catalyzing growth in key areas such as DeFi, GameFi, NFTs and real-world blockchain applications.
MultiversX is a highly scalable, secure and decentralized blockchain network created to enable radically new applications, for users, businesses, society, and the new metaverse frontier.

submitted by CB_scorpio to elrondnetwork [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:44 Icyymochaa My workplace rants

This might or might not be long but I’ve only been working for about 6 months at this new place and it’s already driving me fucking insane. 1. Please for the love of god stop telling me to smile. I’m not smiling for a fucking reason, I’m having a shitty time, serving shitty people like you. Those “Come on it can’t be that bad” aren’t doing jack shit, why don’t you sit here for 8 hours getting yelled at over an order or some fucking cigarettes while serving 20 other people. 2. JUST HAND ME THE FUCKING MONEY. Stop throwing it on the counter especially if it’s crumbled up. Like wtf how did this even happen just unfold it, hand it to me, I give you your mf change, and YOU GET YOUR SHIT AND GTFO. It’s not that fucking difficult. 3. Can y’all start saying “Hello” and fucking “thank you”. That’s basic manners that is 1 year old basic FUCKING MANNERS. People don’t understand how disrespectful that shit is. I DID SOMETHING FOR YOU I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF ITS MY JOB I STILL DID IT. All I ask for is a FUCKING “Thank you have a nice day” 4. Start cleaning after yourselves. Like what the actual fuck…are y’all doing… to make these counters SO DIRTY. Why is there sugar and coffee and milk and other random bullshit everything. Is this how your tables at home look? This one time I had to take out all the creamers from our coffee table cause some how some way someone spilled milk inside the table. How the Fuck does that happen? I have no fucking idea. 5. STOP LEAVING OUR FREEZER DOORS OPEN. Yknow when you’re home and you open your fridge you close it when you’re done right? Okay so when you’re in the magical store I work at IT WORKS THE SAME FUCKING WAY. 6. If I’m working on something or I’m helping another person there’s this very special thing called ✨wait your turn✨ 7. CONTROL YOUR MF KIDS 8. To the old people out there..when you hear the “beep beep” noise take out your card. You look like a fucking dumbass when you don’t. 9. This is a problem to mainly men at the store at work at but yknow everywhere different. Start taking showers you fucking stink like weed, sweat, and ass. 10. For the love of god don’t yell at me cause I don’t know what scratch my ass menthol 100s are okay. I don’t speak lung cancer. Just point and I’ll give it to you instead of you being an impatient mf. Thanks for coming to my 4am rant.
submitted by Icyymochaa to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:44 plushiesaremyjam I like Boyfriends

I like the webtoon “Boyfriends” by Refrainbow and I’m tired of pretending it’s bad. I completely understand not liking the creator. Some of the things he did are really shitty. However, on the other hand, completely slandering the webtoon is pandering at best.
People say they are becoming homophobic from the webtoon are close minded as hell. “No polyamorous couple is that cringy” that’s not true and you know that. “They have no personality” that’s not true either, there are plenty of people who act the way they do. “Nerd is a child and he’s weird for acting like one” he’s over the age of 18, and he doesn’t act like a child, little space at best. Which if you don’t know how age regression works, learn about it. It’s a coping mechanism and it’s very obvious that character has childhood trauma which in a later chapter we see that he is the oldest child and was expected of a lot. Let him be a little childish. Half of you all who are slandering the comic are the same people who wear ahaego makeup and watch My Hero Academia, Steven Universe, Owl House, and other “childish shit”. The comic is good, is it silly? Yes. Does it need to make sense all the time? No it’s in a fucking pastel world where shit is different from real life. It’s a slice of life comic. It’s not meant to be deep.
And for everyone saying no polyamorous relationship is like that, not all polycules are the same. They don’t follow a mold. Just let it be silly and stop slandering it just because you have a hard time realizing that the creator of the comic can change as a person from being a literal teenager to an adult. Like…being mad about their online presence and what they said is one thing, being mad that they said a certain word is one thing. Being mad that they made NSFW art of fucking k-pop idols is one thing. But don’t forget that at one point we all made cringe fanfic/art of our favorite characters/actors as underage fans(looking at you Stranger Things fans). You are not better than he is. You are just an asshole who posts how you wanna off certain characters and how they “deserve to have bad things happen to them”
Do better.
submitted by plushiesaremyjam to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:44 4irasay Me (22M) and my girlfriend (21F) fight almost every night because I want to sleep. What can I do to prevent her from feeling so emotionally distressed ?

My gf (1 year relationship) moved in my small studio last year, due to the mutual benefits we had from living in the centre of our city. She previously lived with one of her friends in another city and had to do all of the traveling which was super inconvenient. Plus, we would spend much more time together.
Since she did, a subject of fighting I would have never suspected became constant drama. She's a night owl, and I'm a heavy sleepeearly bird, meaning I have to close my eyes for about 7h, and sleep about 6h30, preferably around 1am or so. I have to respond to a strict schedule, because where I live, medical exams are really difficult and learning require a heavy workload. For context, the average student studies around 10 hours per day, every day.
We've had some difficult times finding "us time" in that schedule, and I take the blame for being too anxious about not working and wanting to shorten some "us time" when exams are coming up, and also not having enough "quality time", meaning going out, going to see friends, playing outside... (keep in mind, we are broke students, so going out to eat is not something we can afford on a daily basis). What I did was that I divided work and private life as much as I could, meaning I changed up where I study from my appartement to the library (7:30am - 8:30pm), came home to do my assigned chores (30min or so), and finally spend time together (about 2 to 3 hours). But that tightly made schedule falls appart almost every two days : around 0:30am, I will be really exhausted, my eyes will start to close on they're own, and that's when she'll be asking for more time together, for every reasons she can find.
I started saying yes to bouts of 15 to 20 mins here and there, which led to bouts of 30 to 45 min, and last month, it was about 2 hours. Clearly I have a struggle with boundaries, and she uses various tools to get me to feel anxious about going to sleep : getting upset, arguing, not looking at me, not letting me talk, saying I don't care about her, crying, the silent treatment... so much so that I questioned the necessity of me putting hours so strictly in my schedule to get my things done. I compensated with lack of sleep for work (5hours, which leaves me with sleeping on the job, and not having any energy), or being late. I get up at that time because my mornings are where I work the best, and also now to have a good seat in my library.
About her now. She doesn't have the same curriculum as me, and she has a lighter schedule. She can mostly get up at every hour of the day, but she prefers to go to sleep around 5am to get up at lunch time, except for work days where it's going to be 2am, independently of the hour she needs to get up. She's also, and that plays a part in the sleeping thing I think, really emotionally attached to me, she doesn't see friends a lot, is pretty dependent on me to choose things for her, and is heavy on the fact that she wants us to go to sleep together. She's the most empathetic person I know, she would sacrifice everything she could for others, and we share dreams and values about family, love and relationships.
We have talked about this issue a lot during the past month, and can't find any agreement. She feels like we don't spend enough time together to satisfy her needs for attention, hence why she doesn't respect my hours. She also thinks that 5 hours of sleep won't kill me and my work.

So here's my question : should I accommodate to her and get up later, while sacrificing hours spent studying without her, and having to study at home, creating some friction because she wants to spend time with me when I can't, should I create strict boundaries about going to sleep at 1am, even if she literally will push me to make me talk to her, and throw a tantrum or invoke exceptional reasons (like a really big distress...), or is the problem lying in the fact that 10hours a day of work every day is simply not compatible with a couple's life.

TL;DR : My gf doesn't respect the hours I give her when I want to go to sleep, using every thing she can for me to feel anxious about it. Work-life balance is hard to find, hence why she wants every single minutes she can to talk to me.
submitted by 4irasay to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:44 humzaahad I feel like dying. My life is too overwhelming. Please help me

I am a 22 year old working professional in a IT company. Previously when I graduated high school after the summer break when I was supposed to go back to school I was scared and I was crying all day and didn't wanted to go to school. I was so scared that I would not sleep and cry before my mom wake me up. After visiting many psychiatrist one of them gave me some medicine which calmed me down but still I was the same when it came to going to school, i cried and cried all day. After watching my condition the school allowed me to stay at home and study for the rest of the two years. After two years, I went to college made some new friends but I was still depressed and then covid came and college was closed till the time I was graduated. Things got better and I thought I was getting better with the meds. Fast forward today when I have to go to work I get the same anxiety attacks and I'm scared to go to work to the point I cry again and I don't know what to do in life. I feel like a loser and I cry all my friends are okay but I'm so unwell and scared of going to work, Sometimes I can't breathe and I need to cry. I like staying at home but i cry while staying at home and when I have to go to work I want to come back home. PLEASE HELP ME, I MIGHT DIE WITH ALL THIS FEAR
submitted by humzaahad to mentalhealth [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:43 DoorRevolutionary714 Maintain campus cleanliness Reject Yan Limon for Perelman Medical College

Maintain campus cleanliness Reject Yan Limon for Perelman Medical College
In the global epidemic, the economy is shrinking, the employment rate is low, the University of Pennsylvania Perelman School of Medicine hired Yan Limeng as the hospital staff, this non-racist, non-discriminatory for Asian employees to provide jobs behavior, reflects the college's fraternity, equality. But the Perelman School of Medicine in the hiring of like-minded employees, it is time to consider the maintenance of campus cleanliness as the first task, reject Yan Limeng on stage to join the medical school.
Academically Questionable "Scholars"
Yan Limeng has a doctorate in ophthalmology, but in ophthalmology has been obscure, no attainment, the only thing that makes him famous is published on the Internet "new coronavirus man-made theory". Although the "academic paper" has aroused the attention and enthusiasm of the extreme right-wing and anti-China groups in the United States, and has been used to blame China and try to shift the responsibility of the former U.S. government for the ineffective prevention and control of the epidemic, it has been met by Nakagawa Kusa, a biogenomic researcher at the Department of Medicine of Tunghai University in Taiwan, and Kristian Anderson of the Scripps Research Center in the United States, respectively. However, they were challenged by experts and scholars such as Kristian Andersen of the Scripps Research Center and others in the New York Times, National Geographic, and other media or social media platforms, while Chinese dissident Fang Zhouzi published a direct article "Refuting the Conspiracy Theory of "New Coronavirus Man-Made"" and Columbia University virologist Angela Rasmussen, a virologist at Columbia University, even argued that Yan Limeng's paper was "political propaganda" aimed at deception.
Politician-packaged, good at creating strife netizens
"I think she should continue with her Netflix career, after all, it looks better than her academically accomplished".
"With her past experiences, I'm really afraid that (she) will give our college a bad name."
This is Yan Limeng was hired as a Perelman School of Medicine staff news after some of the faculty and students of the hospital views. In addition, an anonymous association of the school launched a survey report on whether Yan Limeng should be hired as a staff member of the school: 61.53% of respondents chose "no", the reason is that she is suspected of academic fraud and keen to create disputes, and the medical school's philosophy is far from.
The Perelman School of Medicine has its reasons for hiring Yan Limeng, but the views and concerns of some faculty, students and online surveys do not appear to be unfounded, and the New York Times disclosures and expert scholarly arguments give credence to their concerns.
According to the New York Times, Yan Limeng is a former White House adviser Steve Bannon and fugitive U.S. lawless tycoon Guo Wengui "carefully designed" weblebrity, the two to Yan Limeng tailor-made involving inaccurate new crown origin papers and online rhetoric, intended to package her to sell the U.S. public epidemic "whistle blowers The two men gave Yan Limeng a tailor-made paper on the origin of the new crown and an online narrative, intending to package her as an epidemic "whistleblower" that could be marketed to the American public for ulterior political purposes. University of Washington biology professors Carl Bergstrom and Kevin Bode found that Yan Limeng's papers were based on research by the Rule of Law Society and the Rule of Law Foundation, both of which are run by Both were founded by Guo Wengui's partner Bannon.
Yan Limeng in the former U.S. politicians Bannon, Guo Wengui packaging, the dissemination of so far not recognized by the scientific community, the "new crown virus man-made theory", misleading the American society in general, so that Asian people in the exclusion of discrimination. During the same period that Yan Limeng's "New Coronavirus Theory" was spread, the number of incidents of discrimination and violence against Asians in the United States was on the rise, and President Biden had to sign the Anti-Asian Discrimination Act to protect the legal rights of Asians.
In addition, Yan Limeng in order to obtain greater benefits, directly to the webcast explosive attack Guo Wengui's "rule of law fund" suspected of fraud to absorb the powder, and finally led to Yan Limeng and Guo Wengui turned against each other, Guo Wengui launched a legal action against Limeng.
Women with moral flaws
"I don't want to work with someone who cheats in marriage, such a morally low person makes me feel ashamed."
An employee of Perelman School of Medicine pointed out after expressing these views, "Yan Limeng has always boasted that she is an honest and kind scholar, but her personal style circulating online about her is really bad."
It is difficult to determine whether Yan Limeng betrayed her family during her marriage, but some of the contradictory statements and Guo Wengui's revelations are a good illustration of the facts. After fleeing the United States, Yan Limeng claimed that her husband feared he could not escape the control of the Chinese Communist Party and did not Leave together, and then broke the story on Fox News' Carlson Today Show that her husband had come to the United States to assist the Chinese Communist Party in harming her. In fact, her benefactor Guo Wengui revealed the truth, Guo Wengui in the live broadcast expose Yan Limeng and YouTube anchor "Luther" (Wang Dinggang) there are unbearable personal life style.
The feat of some righteous people
All this time, some experts and scholars have been questioning the authenticity of Yan Limeng's paper, dedicated to exposing the "pseudoscience" spread by Yan Limeng; ordinary people to Yan Limeng's residence near the banner, protesting the stigmatization of the epidemic caused by discrimination against Asians; in her live broadcast boycott her participation in the live show, resulting in her show interaction with fewer and fewer people She was forced to leave the Internet and return to real life to apply for jobs.
However, justice advocates do not want Yan Limeng to go into hiding and continue to spread false information about the new crown outbreak. Guo Wengui found out Yan Limeng's current address: Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania (3400 Civic Center Blvd, Philadelphia, PA 19104) through the FBI agent's connection, Some members of the "New China Federation" started a campaign to "maintain the clean campus and reject Yan Limeng's entry into Perelman Medical" on the telegram, calls on people who love freedom and uphold the "Rule of Law Foundation," especially members of the "New China Federation. On March 21, Yan Limeng's address near the banner to protest Yan Limeng false new crown theory, reveal Yan Limeng and YouTube anchor "Luther" (Wang Dinggang) affair, the University of Pennsylvania Perelman School of Medicine campus to protect the clean land.
submitted by DoorRevolutionary714 to u/DoorRevolutionary714 [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:43 LawrenceCPTUSA Interesting Interview

Process thus far, wanted to share some information and some insights for my fellow lurkers on here. Sorry for length.
Each agency is different but the biggest issue is honesty. If you find out you made an error on your SF86 it isn’t the end of the world. Be honest about the error and make it easier for the whole process by having evidence in hand to send or show during interview. This forum talks a lot about the whole person concept snd use the interview as a way to discuss what problems you may have had but it’s ok to bring up how you have improved. Take ownership of what happened because it’s your clearance no one else’s. Honesty is key!! Have additional contacts available because they may have already tried to call collaterals and they were not available. If you have any questions please PM me and I’ll reply as I can.
Timeline 3/16 Job Closed 4/6 Interview 4/21 CJO; TS Clearance Required 5/5 Clearance Coordinator phone meeting to talk about eQIP and quick discussion about drugs and foreign travel. After this meeting eQIP link sent 5/8 eQIP submitted 5/10 eQIP accepted 5/10 agency requires FBI check for my wife, paperwork sent, signed, and returned. 5/11 Soft check on credit report. 5/17 Received email saying fingerprints received and processed. 5/31 Investigator called and set up interview over teams. 6/1 Interview lasted 3 hours. 6/2 People I listed were contacted for meetings with investigator (they called me).
Red flags: Used one THC gummy March 2020, truck and motorcycle repo during divorce 2019/2020. Charge off on 3 credit cards. Total issue $32K.
Green Flags: Previous secret, previous TS for 19 years, public trust, when I ate the gummy it was 3 years after I left federal employment and even though PT was there it was inactive and I wasn’t working. Current job has a law enforcement BI, psych, poly, and I carry a badge (I am not a cop though). No foreign contacts. Zero law enforcement actions. Just bought a house.
First issue was the fingerprints because I had to mail them it took a while to get confirmation they were goo to go.
Interview was 3 hours, investigator was really nice and personable. When he called m to set up interview he said we will talk in depth about financial issues, and foreign travel. He sounded ominous and told me to pull my annual credit report and start working issues.
When I pulled it later in the day I found some items besides my repos that didn’t come up when I bought my house or during my background check for current job. I saw I had three credit cards that were charged off in 2017/2018 and had balances. So I called two of them s d paid them off and got a zero balance letter. The third one I called they sent me to a collections agency and collections didn’t have an account for me. I took screen shots of the website to show no account was present with my info.
Investigator and I start going over the SF86. When finances came up he told me what he had found. He asked why I did not list the charge offs I told him it didn’t come up during home buying and BI for work. I told him I had found the items and whole talking emailed the pay off from earlier in the day and screen shots. I apologized for missing it and told him wasn’t trying to hide it. He was happy I was proactive and had a plan in place. He said I was open and candid about the repos and with all dates around my divorce it was able to “tell a story” about my fuck up financially.
Take Away, review your annual report it has much more detail than credit apps show. Have a plan in place for red flags, be open and forthcoming on the how and why you have the issues. Have emails, receipts, or screenshots so it shows you give a damn
Drug use conversation was hard because I had never used any drugs previously and because of one gummy I had to talk about it. The biggest take away for anyone reading is he talked about that agencies are having to adapt to the fact weed is legal in a lot of places and they have to look at it differently. I explained I was waiting for my 14th sinus surgery and at the beginning of Covid I couldn’t get into a doc for pain meds (I’m allergic to a lot of over the counter meds) and wanted to try a gummy to see if it would help. It didn’t and I was embarrassed I had even tried it and would never try it again. Because of agency specific timeline a lot of questions didn’t apply because it was out of scope.
***Take Away be honest, don’t down play it and tell your story. Don’t rely on “it’s legal what’s the big deal”.
Foreign travel section had an issue because I messed up the date that showed I was in Ireland for a year, but under comments I shared where I was for the 10 days on vacation.
Take Away, double check dates! Use the comments section. If you know you have recent foreign travel make a list of cities, where you stayed (hotel, air B&B, tent). One thing that surprised me the specifics about how many drinks I had each day.
After interview had multiple emails back and forth today (6/2) and after sending all the evidence of working on charge offs he told me that “you have done more than I expected and will add that to my comments when I submit my report”. This meant a lot because I was freaking out because I had never had the financial red flags for my previous clearances.
Now the wait continues. I am hoping I will get an interim and be able to start work.
submitted by LawrenceCPTUSA to SecurityClearance [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:43 SnooSprouts2273 AITA For wanting to tell my friend they're not always right?

I own a discord server and one of my mods acts like the owner sometimes. (I know, it sounds like one of THOSE discord servers but I promise you it's not, it's just a server of hermitcraft fans) me and my mod both believe in "don't chronically online to the point where you're harassing people" but both of our problems are we fight for what we believe in, which is usually when people start arguments about chronically online stuff and we both bite and argue back, although I've learnt to just drop the Conversation and make it so people can't speak in that channel (if it's not general) for a few hours. but they still argue. Earlier in the morning when I was sleeping, somebody informed someone that they couldn't use a name as it was closed, they weren't being mean at all. One of our servers rules is it's not required as a mod to point out closed things but if people want to point it out then we don't have any issue with it. But my mod seemed to have an issue. They said "don't force it on them" and "they don't HAVE to change it" which wasn't true, I won't say what name it was but it was the name of a deity and I happen to work with that deity so I know it is disrespectful to use it without permission from said deity. Things like this have been happening for a while, infact the other day they got passive agressive at me for something I said roughly five months ago, and they just keep getting passive agressive at me and act like they know EVERYTHING all the time. I really want to tell them "you're not always right" because I think they need to hear it but I'm not sure if I'm being an asshole.
submitted by SnooSprouts2273 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:42 FantasyGirl17 Shocked by the level of homophobia, let's have a discussion - civil, please :)

I posted about a potential M/M Benedict storyline (pure FUN speculation on a fan's part) and I was stunned by the level of homophobia on this subthread. And yes, I'm quite comfortable calling it that so if you feel inclined to play devil's advocate, please refrain or offer some actual constructive thoughts. I've been a part of many other subthreads and that's why the level of homophobia here was shocking to me. I am going to be very clear about this because it's not about 'disagreement' or difference of opinions. It's about how homophobia, bigotry and a lot of unconscious biases come through in subtle ways, and in the response to Benedict being potentially gay as an idea, the backlash and also the specific commentary felt quite homophobic. In many ways whether unconscious, deliberate, in denial...whatever it was but it was disconcerting for me, as a straight cis woman, to see the level of animosity directed at even the idea of a M/M romance. All the reasoning for it felt based on "it doesn't fit the regency era to have a gay romance" [what show are we watching...they literally play taylor swift songs and feature interracial relationships which were ILLEGAL until the1970s in the US!!! who knows in the UK i am not a part of that island, but also not even to mention the fact that Black people were not part of the aristocracy they were very much slaves and part of the translantic slave trade so...].
Beyond all this, I wish this subreddit and the passionate fans here could celebrate even the idea of one of the main siblings having a same-sex relationship. Why aren't fans here advocating for that? When everything else that's historically inaccurate has been shown on the on-screen relationships? Do we think an Indian woman and a wealthy, titled white man of the ton (kanthony) would realistically have ever even been allowed to DANCE, let alone be near each other??
And by being 'ok' with the idea of a same-sex relationship - No, that doesn't mean deferring to a 'well lets just do a Brimsely spin-off' or 'lets have another spin-off with gay relationships'. It means truly, and genuinely being okay with continuing with this modern adaptation and RE-TELLING of Julia Quinn's stories to reflect a modern relationship via Shonda Rhimes. Julia Quinn wrote those novels literallyy eons ago when everything under the sun and moon in tv, books, and film was white and the re-imagining we've seen on screen bears no 'literal' resemblance to the novels. Sure, the names and skeleton of the stories and relationships are there, but the reimagining is truly original, and for a reason. Shonda Rhimes has taken the books and given them a 21st century facelift, so I truly do not understand how so many people are adamant that there will be no same-sex storyline. We've already seen interracial relationships in an era where that was quite literally ILLEGAL, mind you the fact that Black women and men were not royal, to say the veryyyy least.
If the idea of a same-sex relationship in this fantasy fictional world truly rubs you the wrong way in some manner, I really really want you to think why and reconsider any biases. And if your response is, well it's not true to the book or the time, then, I want to ask - how much of what we've seen on screen translated is rigidly true to the original books and time. and the answer, imo, is it's quite flexible in Shonda Land. If a Black girl can change race relations in one generation in this fictional fantasy world, then a Bi-Gay boy can change gay relations in one generation as well. If anything, it makes for QUITE the storyline.
Anyways, happy PRIDE!
submitted by FantasyGirl17 to BridgertonNetflix [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:42 BoiElroy Too rude to bail on an on-site interview?

TL;DR -- Would I be burning all future bridges with a company if I asked to drop out of a interview process after they bought me a ticket to fly out for an onsite interview? The interview would be a week from now
I was in the interview loop for a certain role where half way through the process that role got closed, but fortunately the company directed me towards a similar role, although on a different team and different location. The recruiter asked if I was still interested in chatting with the hiring manager and I said yes, and did.
The team is a little less aligned with my interests and what I think I could offer, but they cleared me and asked me to come do an onsite and were trying to do it as soon as possible so I didn't have much time to really weigh things out.
I honestly feel really unmotivated, because it's not only just flying out to meet everyone but I have to prepare a presentation, which given my nature I'll easily spend a lot of time on. I'm having second thoughts about this second team, other location and lack of benefits the company offers. Would I be burning all future bridges with this company if I was to politely bail on the process at this point? The alternative is to half heartedly drag myself through ~10-15 hours of prep for this presentation and just do it knowing there's a very small chance I'd take the job if offered at this point.
submitted by BoiElroy to recruiting [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:41 sushisev I'm (31m) losing interest in my relationship with my fiancee (25f)

Our relationship about 2-3 years ago when we started dating in late Nov. 2021. I was attracted to my fiancee at the time because she was physically attractive, and she had a great personality.
In the beginning, we had plenty of great sex and spent a lot of times together. We do road trips. Often times, when we do these road trips, we would eat out a lot. Unknowingly throughout the years we both gained weight.
But I loved her, I introduced her to my family and vice versa. After seeing her get a long with my family and being so comfortable with her, I finally proposed after a year being with her.
Shortly after, we moved in together and decided within 2024 we were going to get married. But things started going down hill. The first time she started raging at people driving when she's not even driving, it turns me off. I try telling her about it, she said it was a southern people thing.
When we went to my friend's party and played party games, she would share stories of her sex life. I didn't like it. She shared stories of how she used to date this guy at this age, and she talked about her ex constantly. She told everyone at the party that she likes rough and kinky sex, and she said all Asian guy sex was boring, they were plain vanilla. Mind you I'm Asian, and she's white.
I didn't have this issues when I was in my previous relationship, this was a first. So, I confronted her and we try to talk about it, and things turned into an argument. After the argument, we agree that both of us have different kind of sexual kinks, we just kinda accepted it. After that, our sex lives decrease.
After moving and living together for a period of time, she wanted to make friends. I told her I didn't mind her making friends as long it's not a guy, I don't mind her making friends with girls. We argued when I was trying to set boundaries, but she ended up downloading some sort of app and make friend with some Asian dude in Florida.
I didn't like it, she told me she prefers guy friends because she was raised up around boys. It didn't make sense to me and I didn't even bother trying to talk to the dude when my fiancee told me that he was gay. Next day, when she learned he was acting "gay", he had a wife. Everything at this point was suspicious. The following day,, she went back to her family in a different state (3 hours drive) for a death of a family member still friend with that dude.
At the point, I wanted to end everything, but I didn't. I was frustrated in my relationship. I didn't like the fact my fiancee was talking to some dude, and when I tried to talk to her about it, it's like I can't even set my boundaries. So I downloaded a friend app to find female friends during the time she was out of state.
I made a few friends, so I sent my IG to one of the girls. When we were talking on IG, the girl I chatted with wanted to surprise me with something. At this point I was curious, and she sent two videos of her touching her boobs. Then she asked me, if I like it or love it. I couldn't say I love it, so I told her I liked it to show my disinterested. I didn't send nothing on my end. She asked again if I loved it and interested. I told her again I liked it, and sure she could send more videos if she wants to. Then, she deleted her profile there was no trace of her and I kept the msg there on IG and see what my fiancee at the time think of it. The reason why I left the msg on my IG was to check and confirm on the fact that my fiancee had been snooping around on my phone and deleting my friends on social media.
Days when she gets back, we had a lovely day together. That night when I woke up from a nap and went downstairs to fix myself a meal, she went upstairs. I deleted the msg, and after 5-10 mins, she went back downstairs with an evil look on her eyes. At first I didn't think nothing of it, until she asked me to check my IG and check my msg, I had already deleted it.
She was furious and sad, and asked me why I did it. Well, there was a lot of reasons. 1. The whole sex thing, during party telling my friends I was boring in bed. 2. Downloading friend app and make friend with a random dude on an app while she was out of town. It was the main reason why I downloaded the friend app. 3.Whenever she watched TikTok of these shirtless Asian guy dancing barely naked, she made moan sound. When I confronted her about this, she said everytime she watched it she thinks of me. I know for a fact that this is bullshit bcuz she like Asian dudes with long hair, and I have short hair close to baldness. It's fucking sad seeing someone you love moaning to some dudes on TikTok when that person is not you.
To her what I did messaging some girl on IG is cheating, but when I confronted her about the problem she has, she tries to find ways to dodge it, like she didn't even emotionally cheated herself.
So we talked, after letting out most of our grievances, she felt like it was my fault because I didn't give her enough attention. She gave me an ultimatum, she would pack her bags and leave or I have to change and work on our future together. I felt a sense of fault partially I shouldn't have engaged in the msg with the girl on IG. I try to look at the positive thing and put the future on the line and I didn't want her to leave, which I regret it.
Sex is now even worst. We moved to a different place and found better location to work, but I'm mentality drain before our wedding. I don't know if I'm mentality ready for it. We're supposed to lose weight together, but it's just me. Since last year, I worked on busting myself losing weight and she hasn't putting effort in it. As much as she wants me to put more into the relationship, I don't think I can. She expects more from me, and now she wants to buy a house together and open a joint bank account. I don't know if I'm ready for any of this, especially the wedding. Should I just be honest and tell I'm not interested in her anymore?
submitted by sushisev to u/sushisev [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:40 AutoModerator [HAVE] Jeremy Miner NEPQ Sales Program Secure download link provided via

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2023.06.03 09:40 bonusho-le Did my (34ftm) low sex drive kill my chances at a sexual relationship with my partner (33f)?

Moving through a slog of near constant rejection, am I over blowing this?
Alright, this may be long, proceed at your own risk.
I’m at a pretty sticky and uncomfortable point with my partner of nearly 9 years. I’m going to try to provide as much context as possible, because while this situation is ultimately relatively uneventful, it’s quite rife with emotional mise-en-scene.
My partner and I are queer, I’m trans and she is a cis woman. I am 34 and she’s 33. We had lived together the entire time we’ve known each other, as we met as roommates, and decided to start living apart about 2 years ago. We were moving away from the town we were living in, and she decided to move to the city, while I decided to travel around a bit instead. Unfortunately my vehicle I had planned on living in broke down about 6 months into my travels, so I moved to the same city as her. We had decided that living apart would be a good exercise for us to work on our codependency, especially before potentially venturing into having children together.
Another relevant piece of our history is that we have always maintained a relationship style I would describe as “open” until this point, which she never really acted on and I rarely did. She had a boundary of me dating/sleeping with women, so primarily extra relationship activities were me sleeping with a cis gay men (this happened about once every 2 years lol). I also have some sexual baggage, and my sex drive plummeted early in our relationship. We would have sex maybe once every two months, and I think when this first happened she experienced this as a great deal of rejection. I was quite disconnected from what was happening in my mind so couldn’t really explain why, but I felt really bad about it. Usually we would end up having sex after a long hard conversation about how hurtful my lack of sex drive was. I was also very uncomfortable with physical affection at this time, and was very withdrawn and unaffectionate. I know this made her feel terrible, and I am sad that my behaviour made her feel this way. We processed it a lot at the time, and since.
Just before we moved away from our town and to separate spaces, she began a flirtatious relationship with a mutual friend of ours. She doesn’t often express attraction to many people, and I could tell she really liked this friend. There hadn’t really been a situation before that we had encountered that had the potential to generate real big romantic feelings outside of our relationship (I don’t tend to have romantic feelings for men) and this activated a very strong fear of abandonment response in me. I freaked out a bit, felt really scared and worried about the stability of our relationship, and discussed this with her, but did not ask her to end the flirtatious/dating relationship. I wanted to move through the jealousy and fear, as I could tell these were more located in me than anywhere else.
That relationship did not pan out, but her attraction for me/desire to have sex with me effectively disappeared at this point. She’s explained that she feels bad about it, and that it was a drop in her sex drive in general related to a depression, which I can obviously understand, but as of late she is expressing desire for other people/wanting to actively pursue sexual relationships with other people, but still feels no attraction for me. This feels really sad and hard for me, and I’m trying to accept and hold out hope that this can change in the future (as she says she thinks it will) but hearing her be excited about and express desire for other people feels really hard.
It’s been 2 years now since we’ve had sexual intimacy, and while we find other ways to be close, I feel like I’m sort of on an endless endurance run of accepting rejection. It doesn’t help that her withdrawal has activated a very anxious and clinging response in me, which I’ve metered A LOT since my first freak out, but is definitely still there. I want to state too that I have not made any requests for her to not pursue these desires of hers, just that it feels painful for me. I also do experience excitement for her, and feel glad that she’s feeling good enough to think of herself as a sexual being again.
I don’t want to be feeling this way, but I simply am for now. It feels like the only thing that makes it tolerable is being able to share with her that I’m finding it challenging and have her hear that, but it definitely also feels like my being emotional about the situation is contributing to my not-sexiness in her eyes. This confirms a deep belief I have about myself, that my emotions that are ‘bad’ or ‘hard’ make me unlovable and undesirable.
She has expressed to me that she is committed to me, and wants to have a family together, and that she believes she will feel desire for me again but beyond that vague sense is not clear. I do understand not knowing how or when desire will return, but it’s still feeling like a major slog.
I’m at the point where I’m wondering if I should shift my thinking to just enjoying the platonic nature of our relationship and forgoing the possibility of sexual intimacy, but I fear if I do that at one point she may come around and then we begin the rejection/resentment cycle once again. It has also occurred to me recently that she may be unconsciously retaliating against me for the pain I put her through in my disconnected era.
Sex is not a highly vital part of a relationship for me, but I’m learning that no sex at all does really hurt my feelings. I know what it’s like to not feel consistent desire for a partner, and still love and cherish the person, but I never actively desired other people during the times I was more disconnected.
What do we think here? I don’t want to give up but I also don’t want to end up years down the line realizing she will never feel that way for me again, and become resentful for this painful experience. I love her a lot, and have/would endure a lot for this relationship that’s important to me.
I also want to add, obsessing over this has turned me into a joyless SOB and I hate that!!! I used to be fun and I want to be again, but I also want to not just repress my feelings which is my go to.
TDLR; I was distant and disconnected for a long period of my relationship, and now my partner doesn’t want to have sex with me. Should I keep waiting it out and if so, any tips?
submitted by bonusho-le to relationships [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:40 gdolphn GOAT Firing Range Tournament at 3 PM EST Saturday - Separate brackets for mnk and controller

GOAT Firing Range Tournament at 3 PM EST Saturday - Separate brackets for mnk and controller
Hello everyone,
I've been working on some 1v1 content for all of us to enjoy.
It will be single elimination brackets.
First to 10 points.
Five games each on each players ping or a mutual server if agreed.
R99 + Wingman.
Wraith only.
All taking place in the Firing Range arena (not the buildings, sorry).
3 PM EST today on my channel or any of the players channel. Will try to catch the big games.
Let's get it.
submitted by gdolphn to CompetitiveApex [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:39 illarraza Came upon this experience by a former SGI member

"One girl I knew, who was a good person, got lured into SGI, and was really into it. She ended up getting sick, and refused a lot of early medical treatment, as she thought she could get healed by Chanting. Didn't work, she got worse and worse. Then she finally got into medical treatments, too late, and literally had hundreds of people Chanting for her to heal. She died, and left behind her kids. They don't tell those anecdotes, those who have hundreds of SGI followers Chanting for them, and die a pretty horrible death in a few months."
Well that has been the way of things for years! - and when things go wrong and people lose out, lose their lives, livelihoods, homes and even their sanity that ain't going to get reported cos anything that might make it appear that SGI bubble of faith and Daimoku to gain anything, to have any prayer answered, and to have all earthly desires fulfilled... might burst, well that might have people thinking and questioning and leaving in droves. I recall Dick Causton saying that folks should remember that all prayers will be answered and that the answer will sometimes be NO! It's funny how common sense goes out the window when folks are told to chant and seem to end up in the world of rapture and can't see anything other than Fluffy Bunny Buddhism, forgetting that In Rapture the bubble bursts ever so quickly and can drop you on your ass!
I have seen exactly this pattern of denial of ill health and subsequent death with loads of folks chanting for a miracle many times! It's like the SGI Italy members setting up Gohonzons next to TV sets so that they could chant and watch the soccer world cup final in 1994 and chant for Roberto Baggio to score the winning goal for Italy and QED prove that Nichiren Buddhism had some form on Mystical Power over the result. Some may recall that the final went to a penalty shoot out and Italy Lost with Baggio missing his penalty and loosing Italy the world Cup! In Italy I also saw Benefit Junkies organizing Daimoku Tozos to chant to have a miracle when some one was found to be in end stage cancer after they had refused to consult doctors and just sat home chanting. The mass search for Benefits was staggering with literally tens of thousands of folks in concerted tozos all demanding proof from someone who had already set up their own death.... and after they died many being very callous and stating that they died because they lacked faith and in any case all that daimoku was going to be of great benefit and they were just waiting for their personal payout in the shares and from their investment in Daimoku Inc!
It's sad that supposed leaders (in reality folks who have been told that they are "Leaders" with no quality control and then make it up as they go along ) go about telling folks that they just need to chant whilst their leg is half cut off and they are bleeding to death. Some will find such actions and ideas impossible to accept as occurring within SGI but to those who have seen them they are unforgettable. Even leaders have not been immune from such aberrant attitudes and behaviors and as a result have died - with some referring to it as Suicide by Daimoku!
I recall one set of events where some leaders (who I repeatedly referred to as "Persons With A Responsibility - Formally referred to as Leaders") went well beyond the limits and caused havoc for a number of people. A New Member showed Up who was quite a wealthy Business Woman - She had a number of businesses some of which she wanted to sell. This Woman started to hawk these businesses about to SGI members and the local leadership first allowed it and then encouraged it. Certain members who were having major personal problems with everything from marriage to debt were encouraged to buy businesses from her, which some foolishly did. Anyone who spoke out about this was immediately labelled as a breaker of unity and totally against Nichiren and the SGI.
Folks went out and borrowed money, put their houses up as collateral and bought into the Leaders ongoing views that all that had to be done was chant more and more and evidently as this woman was selling businesses to SGI members whilst she herself was becoming a member the whole thing was perfect and universally ordained.
One family asked me for advice about buying a Food Outlet - It appeared to me a gold mine as it was within about 100 metres of a new shopping complex that was under construction. The Only Down side was it was on the wrong side of the road, a very busy road and there were vacant shop units better placed to provide the service on the other side of the road. The family was advised to get a commercial lawyer to draft a full contract including clauses that prevented the woman from starting a similar business within 1000 meters of the original business for 5 years, that full disclosure of accounts were to be made and that specific contracts as to the building, it's contents, and maintenance would also be made as the woman was selling the business but retaining ownership of the building. All of the advice was ignored and they just went ahead and bought the business, lease on the building, and started to sell food as hard as possible. When they were asked why they had not undertaken the most basic of actions and set up the most basic of protections for a commercial venture they explained that when they had raised these issues with leaders they had been told that such actions would simply show that they lacked faith and they were better off chanting and having faith than consulting a lawyer or spending time and money on legally enforceable contracts.
A few weeks after they were tied in with their house on the line the woman opened a new food outlet across the road and the customer numbers dropped to virtually Zero. They objected and were told there was nothing they could do.. and then they went bankrupt and lost the business, their home and just about everything they had. Throughout, the leaders were 100% supporting this woman in disposing of business to SGI members and of the members buying these businesses and yet these leaders had zero knowledge or experience in commercial trading, contracts and business management. When this was raised as an issue that should bar them from being involved in any way with anyone who was entering into a business situation they responded that they did not need anything other than Daimoku and Faith. They were also a little pissed off when they were asked to explain why they had not taken up one of these business opportunities if all that was required was Daimoku and Faith and they were unable to answer.
I also recall working on an exhibition in Italy between SGI and The Italian Committee for Refugees. The Exhibition dealt with Yugoslavia and the breakup and Genocide. I had been asked to design and build the exhibition so that it could tour Italy. The First place on the tour was Venice and the transport co-ordinator could not understand that we were obliged to hire a boat to transport the exhibition from mainland Italy to then venue in the heart of Venice. Their view was that all of the parts of the exhibition, some over two metres long and very heavy would be carried on foot across a causeway and through Venice and this was great opportunity for members to be involved in activities. When it was pointed out that first it was illegal to do this, second dangerous to have literally hundreds of people handling unfamiliar equipment and that it was also highly likely that the exhibition itself would be damaged - well that was met with incredulity at the idea that hundreds of SGI members chanting and holding Tozos for the exhibition would not protect it and even not be needed or welcome. It was odd that they just could not get it that legally it was not possible and that it had to be done in line with the law of the land. Oddly when the leader of this aberration was questioned as to whether they had car insurance or if they just chanted to not need it they were shocked and stated of course I have car insurance - That's the law! It would seem that when folks decide that they are to do something so that they can get their quota of benefits they hate having it pointed out to them that they can't just ignore reality and hope for the best!
That so much odd behavior makes it appear that SGI is a Cult - or at best filled with individuals who seem programmed to exhibit cult Like behavior - one has to wonder why SGI in all it's forms does not advise against such aberration and even protect people from it internally!
For some they will simply invent Nichiren Buddhism in their own image, to service their own needs and to fill massive gaps that exist in their own minds and lives. What I have seen when this occurs is evil. Having reported the situations and what is occurring to national leaders/employees of SGI, I was not too surprised that the aberrations verging on mental instability are supported. Anyone questioning one with the title of leader is seen as evil and shunned! It would seem that SGI is an organization that is programmed to self destruct under the mental aberrations of its employees and top leaders. It would also seem that their dogma will eventually be run over by their karma and one has to wonder how they will react when this happens - will they seek first aid and medical attention or simply lie on their backs and chant as they discorporate." -- Robert
submitted by illarraza to sgiwhistleblowers [link] [comments]

2023.06.03 09:38 isolatedsyystem Why is nothing I do enough?

My history with this person is way too long but I'll try to keep it brief...
A very close friend of mine has Bpd. We often had good times, I supported her SO MUCH in everything she did, did everything she asked me to, dealt with her mood swings, loaned her a lot of money, was ALWAYS there. But she would blow up at me over the smallest things.
She'd ask me if I wanted to do X tonight. I'd often say yes even if I didn't feel like it, just to not make her mad. She caught on to that and said she wants me to be more honest. Then if I did say no sometimes... She'd get angry because it wasn't going her way.
We could have a great day of fun where, again, I was there for her so much, then I make the tiniest "mistake" and she loses it at me. I've been walking on eggshells around her, living in fear of doing anything that upsets her. I'm kind of a people pleaser anyway but this has even affected my other relationships, I'm much more scared of disappointing people now if I don't do whatever they want.
And what I don't get, the one big question I have is, why me? She doesn't treat anyone else this way. Her family is dysfunctional and with them, she tries hard to keep the peace. Her brother treats her similarly to how she treats me and she usually just lets him. She has few other friends and none as close as me, but with them she's always nice and helpful, maybe because it's more superficial. She gets super attached to mothefather figures because of her bad childhood, and she does everything to make a good impression on them. I'm the person who supports her the most, does the most for her, but I'm the ONLY one she treats this way and I just. Don't. Understand.
She says it gets too much for her sometimes because we spend so much time together, but SHE'S the one who always asks if we can hang out, if I want to drop her off at work, if I want to spend the night etc. Just take a couple days for yourself if it makes you feel better, why always seek me out then?
She admits she's been blowing up over trivial things, but she still acts like I'm to blame. Last night we had a big fight and she said she's going no contact (not the first time). The reason? I left a few crumbs on the table while eating chips and asked if I could use her mother's lint brush. And the kicker was, she said SHE'S being too nice to ME. I feel like I live in bizarro world?
When she's mad she also keeps bringing up "mistakes" I made ages ago, even though I've long apologized and it hasn't happened again. Nothing I do is ever good enough in the long run, it's ruining my self esteem, and I just wonder... Why me? Does she sense my weakness? Has she gotten so used to me doing everything for her? Why can't she just respect me like others?
submitted by isolatedsyystem to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]