Last minute hotel deals asheville nc
I am so sick of kids coming into my place of work
2023.06.09 01:53 caesolo I am so sick of kids coming into my place of work
I’ve been at my job for almost 5 years now as a waxeesthetician at a chain salon. Sometimes clients “have to” bring their kids to their appointment if they don’t have child care or whatever. (Even though we don’t charge any fees for last minute canceled or rescheduled appointments)
First let me start with the obvious fact that I feel children watching their moms get hair ripped out of their intimate areas is extremely inappropriate and uncomfortable. Most of the time, kids ages 7+ wait in the lobby while the service is being done, but younger kids always come back in the room with their moms. While not every mom gets an intimate service, with the ones who do they see their moms undress, spread open for the wax, and flinch/yell in pain. I’ve even had moms who had to refrain from making any noise during the service because their child will start crying if they see mom in pain.
Second, we often deal with misbehaved and unruly children. Kids who scream and yell, distract their parents (making it harder for me to do my job), touch everything, come in our workspace, open the door while their mom is fully or half naked, and are just overall BAD!! We have a few clients who are known to bring their bad kids, and, surprise surprise, any employee is always miserable to have one of said clients booked. We discipline them gently as much as we are allowed to, all while the moms give US dirty looks! How dare we tell their precious angel(s) to NOT punch on the mirrors or lick the floor!
Lastly, I straight up do not like kids in my work space or otherwise period, and I feel like that is my right. I can’t focus, I can’t finish my job in a timely manner, I don’t want to talk to your child, I don’t care why you “had” to bring your kids, and my sensory issues with kids in such a small room just fucking explode. I have previously ‘kicked out’ 2 clients before because of their kids’ behavior. Even my coworkers who do like/love kids really hate when they are brought mindlessly and without warning to such intimate appointments.
My job has no policy against bringing kids, the only exception was when we had Covid policies (no more than the client getting serviced could come to their appointment, this included no babies) and no one at higher levels who could change this seems to care. Many employees & managers agree with me on a No Kids Policy, but unfortunately we don’t have the power to change policies. My last hope is talking to someone about how I feel this issue violates our hygiene and sanitation policies. Any advice on points to bring up to corp/how to handle these parents who bring their children is welcome and appreciated.
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2023.06.09 01:44 lutherwriteshorror My childhood dog showed back up to my house after 30 years [Part 3]
Last night I fled my house where my wife and mother had been possessed by some evil thing taking the shape of my childhood dog, Shadow.
After driving, stricken by terror, aimless and without hope, I reached out to my sister, Ellie. We’d never really been close, but I knew she’d gone no contact with the rest of the family years ago, so if I had any safe haven it was going to have to be her.
“I was wondering if I’d hear from you. Mom’s been blowing up my phone, left me at least a dozen messages in the last couple hours, and she knows I’m not about to listen to them.”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure where to start, “You know that dog we had, Shadow, who disappeared thirty years ago? He showed back up at my house.”
“What, a dog? We never had a dog,” she said.
I described Shadow to her, told her about how he used to go everywhere with us, showed her pictures on my phone. Nothing jogged her memory. She literally had no memory whatsoever of us ever having a dog, nor of my mom pining after our lost pet for years afterward. I worried, was this Shadow’s fault too? I’d already witnessed firsthand his ability to reach into my mind, would it be too much to assume he could erase someone’s memory of him entirely?
“You have to be kidding. Why don’t I remember him?” she asked.
I recounted what had happened in the two days since Shadow showed up, how strange my wife and our mother had been acting, Shadow’s obsession with my son, my general feeling of the house being unsafe, how our mother chased me out of the house with scissors while I was holding my infant son. I left out the supernatural for now. How could I expect her to believe that?
“Mom’s finally lost it, huh? You know the thing that really drove us apart was how vicous she could get while mocking my beliefs in the spiritual. Now she goes and turns into a true believer because of this dog? It’s hard to wrap my head around.”
While she listened to mom’s ranting voicemails I got settled in and set up a makeshift travel crib for my son. He slept in the car but when he woke up he was obviously cranky about it.
“She’s really something else about this dog, isnt’t she? She keeps saying you’d better return his son and that you can get your own. I get why you had to escape.”
She made me a coffee and I braved the walls of text my wife sent.
“Come back here honey. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I keep telling you Shadow is a good dog, if you feel like he was hostile to you, he was only trying to protect our son. If you don’t come home soon I’m calling the police. You can’t just take our son away from us. Shadow wouldn’t like that. He’s a good dog. Come back and he’ll forgive you. WTH IS HAPPENING DON’T COME HOME TAKE OUR SON FAR AWAY FROM HERE I’M SO SCARED PLEASE HELP ME HELP ME I CAN’T DO THIS HE’S GOING TO KILL US HE’S GOING TO KILL US ALL THERE’S A BLACK PIT WITH TEETH AT IT’S RIM AND IT’S SWALLOWING ME IT’S A BLACK PIT WITH BLOOD DRIPPING DOWN ITS SIDES I’M SO SCARED I’D RATHER DIE THAN LET HIM GET OUR SON I’M SO SCARED THERE’S A DEEP BLACK PIT WITH TEETH AT IT’S RIM AND IT GOES DOWN AND DOWN AND IT NEVER ENDS THAT’S WHERE I’M GOING HE’S NOT A DOG I’M SO SORRY I’M SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING PLEASE HELP I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. Come back here honey. Shadow will forgive you. He’s forgiven all of us. Can’t you see that’s why he’s here? He wants to make our lives better. He’s going to make sure our son is safe. Nobody will ever hurt him.”
I had to help her. My wife. Trapped in some deep supernatural pit. I couldn't imagine her terror. My face went slack sitting there at my sister's house, reading the messages, my child fussing in the corner.
"Does mom want to marry that dog or something? Seriously this is bonkers," my sister said from the kitchen. "Hey, you still there?"
I was too caught in the dread of that wall of texts to respond. I felt like my soul had just been sucked out. I couldn't let her stay there. I couldn't let Shadow win this time.
"Yeah, I'm here. There's more than I told you." And so I told the story of exactly what had happened, how Shadow wasn't a dog but something else entirely, how he'd tried to take control of my mind. I showed her the texts from my wife.
Initially, I was sure she'd think I'd lost it too. She had to remember that I was the imaginative child, of course she'd think that I was making up another story to deal with the trauma of leaving my family.
But to her credit she just nodded, listening. “I’ve heard of things like this happening, but never so serious,” she said, the lines in her face deepening. I guess since we’ve been so distant, I’d never realized how much she’d grown as a person, how she had her own complete life that had changed her. That carefree, curious, and impulsive red-headed older sister of mine had grown up years ago, and I wondered what she saw in me — her petulant younger brother — did she read the life behind my wrinkles as well?
“I have some friends who might be able to help,” she said, hesitating. “Only, they’re odd. So just, be real with them, okay? They might seem a bit eccentric, but they’ll take this seriously. I promise. Dabbling with the occult takes a certain kind of person is all.”
That’s how I met Hawthorne and Taryn the next day. They came to my sister’s house the next morning. Hawthorne was a short, goth looking guy who wore all sorts of chains with symbols on them. Pensive and quiet, he described himself as a warlock of sorts. Taryn was dressed like a construction worker with Carhartt Overalls and a white shirt. Her every gesture emanated a strange intensity that made me think of a drill sergeant.
“Damn. Complicated case huh?” Hawthorne said, mostly to Taryn.
“Complicated? Nah, we take out the dog and whatever the hell this is will go about it’s merry way, won’t it?,” she opened and closed her hands, tensing every muscle.
“I’m not so sure,” Hawthorn turned the idea around in his head, “if it’s a standard demon maybe an exorcism. But this is some pretty nasty mind control for a demon, and why wouldn’t it take a human as a host?”
“Okay, we chop the head of the animal, it goes away?”
“I’m doubtful on that. So far we’ve seen evidence for three different manifestations of whatever this “Shadow,” is, so it’s difficult to ascertain which is the truth, or what lies behind all of it.”
“Three?” I asked.
“Yes,” Hawthorne said. “First is Shadow as the dog you’d always known him as. Second is the version of Shadow that you saw standing at your son’s crib. Third is this hole with the teeth lining its edges your wife detailed. That last part is the real riddle, because that’s what she’s seeing when she’s inside its grasp trying to break free.”
“So what do we do?” I asked.
“What we can’t do is wait. This thing is a malicious entity and it’s hungry for something. Showing up after thirty years, now exerting a great deal more influence, that’s a major move. If Shadow can’t get to your child he’s going to escalate the situation.”
“Tombstone?” Taryn asked.
“I’m afraid so,” Hawthorne shrugged.
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“Like Wyatt Earp and his brothers against the cowboys, we go in armed to the hip and tell him to throw down his weapons and disband, get out of town, that sort of thing.” Taryn almost seemed excited about it.
I thought of my wife stuck in some deep pit, screaming for help. I hoped this worked.
We arrived at my house an hour before sunset.
Taryn and Hawthorne had packed a full carload of supplies for the exorcism: holy water, crosses, bibles, holy books from other religions, a tub of salt, and a bunch of paraphernalia I couldn’t identify. I’d left my son in the care of my sister. If anything happened to me she said she would keep him safe.
The house looked so peaceful. Its blue trim gave way to white siding, the grass on the lawn only slightly untidy. Until today I’d never walked in with an ounce of fear, but today it took an unbelievable effort just to open the car door. And yet, from the outside nobody could guess that something sinister waited within.
My mother was sitting at the kitchen table when we came in.
“Good, you’ve brought friends. Shadow is very social. He’ll be pleased for the company,” she said.
We ignored her and went upstairs to find my wife and Shadow.
They were both sitting in my son’s room as if they were waiting for us.
“Shadow wants his son back, honey. Why don’t you just bring him to us?” my wife said in an eerie monotone. It sent a chill down my spine. That was her mouth, that was her voice box, but it wasn’t quite her voice.
Shadow didn’t move from where he sat, but gazed at Hawthorne and Taryn as if investigating every aspect of their appearance.
“None of that will help you, but you’re free to try. He won't stop you.” my wife said, laughing.
Hawthorne and Taryn stood there, motionless.
"Start the exorcism, while we have the chance!" I said.
My wife continued laughing. "Oh I think Shadow might have changed his mind." She turned to me, "Now you're going to push me down the stairs, as a little punishment."
I looked at her in horror. "No, not again," I said.
"Then maybe Shadow will kill your new friends here. How do you think he'll do it? Do you think it'll be quick? He could go for their throats. Or maybe he'll take his time? There's plenty of little arteries in the arms and legs he could bite into."
"I won't do it. We're going to stop you," I said.
She walked to the top of the stairs. “Come on. It’ll be fun. You can’t tell me everything has always been rosy for us. This is your chance to get back at me.” She paused. “You’re no fun. I guess I’ll just throw myself. Who knows, maybe my neck will snap. Shadow would have fun with that. Dogs like a good bone.”
I reached out and grabbed her, pulling her back right as she was about to do it.
“HELP HELP HE HAS MY MIND AND I CAN’T GET OUT HELP ME I CAN’T STAND IT ANYMORE!” she screamed.
“We have to go now!” I said.
I started pulling her toward the door and her head flew back and she began laughing in a voice that wasn’t her own at all.
“It’s not going to be that easy. Here’s a deal: bring the child and you can have your wife back. In the meanwhile, I’ll savor your friends.”
I turned to look at Hawthorne and Taryn. Shadow still had full control over them. What could I do? I couldn’t leave them.
Just then the glass jar of holy water in Taryn’s hand shattered and she snapped out of paralysis. “Run!” she yelled, dragging Hawthorne. I tried to grab my wife, but she continued laughing, unmoving as if her body weighed as much as the whole house.
“Please, please you have to break free from him. For one moment. I can’t do this without you,” I said.
Taryn grabbed my hand and she must have dragged me out, because I wasn’t going to abandon my wife to that monster again. Our son would be safe. It was her turn to be saved.
I don’t remember everything that happened in the next few minutes. I felt like a slab of rock. Somehow Hawthorne and Taryn got me out of the house and in the car and we drove back in the direction of my sister’s house.
What do I do now?
[Part 1] https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/140pc2my_childhood_dog_just_showed_up_at_my_house_afte?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
[Part 2] https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/142ze2g/my_childhood_dog_showed_back_up_to_my_house_afte?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
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2023.06.09 01:26 SOLID_mustard Suspended for getting upset with a thrower? Am I justified in being really bothered about this
A week and a half back I was in a SS lobby, there was a pres evoker in this lobby with a little higher rating than everyone else, around 1750, anyway by the time he was 0-2 he just flipped out and stated he was "AFKing to eat dinner because everyone is so sh*t", sat in gates for the last four rounds talking about peoples talents and use of globals. The warrior asked at one stage "Can you just play?" this guy responded with "I will soon when I get my next instant queue away from shitters", so you know what type of person we're dealing with.
I got baited/impatient with the attitude and said that his "tantrum is costing rating and time for 5 other people", defending one other player he was targeting by stating "the warlock has 0 rating, hardly any PvP achievements and is clearly new" and the final nail in my coffin, done with their aggressive meltdown, now aimed at me "ugh grow up c*nt" before no longer responding to them.
The whole lobby reported him for sabotage, not sure if you receive outcome in the mailbox for this but I never did. Today however, I've been served a weeks suspension for the above mentioned quotes that were all used in the report as evidence against me - because of course any talk about players being new is naturally malicious, I incited the notion he was having a tantrum, and finally, finishing up with the Australian "Can you please not" is of course unacceptable.
Just wanted to vent, I feel I got the short stick with Blizzards "Thorough investigations", which are little more than a black and white face valued reporting system tracking key criteria and ignorant of any how's or why's to a situation. How was the comment on the new player included in the ban report? I understand the wording could be used negatively or positively, but the fact it appeared on the report as an offense when I was coming to the aid of another player is just evidence that they took it as derogatory and really do not investigate anything. Going forward when people act out like this, what's the best course of action? Blocking, reporting and accepting the lost/unchanged rating and 40 minute queue time out of our lives isn't coming back? Don't they still win? That dude literally just ate his dinner, called everyone shit and trolled for the remainder of the game while ensuring no one else increased their rating, knowing they're immune to any social reprimand from players/peers because Blizzards shitty faceless reporting system works in their favor.
I wouldn't have thought I'm one to make a post over a ban, I've never been banned before. I was sent over the edge when Blizzards CSU teams appeal response included that I "Should take this time to review my behavior towards other players in their games" when I endeavor to be a really positive and sociable person in all content.
Anyway, cheers for sitting through my crypost. If there's any way to take it further beyond an appeal I'd love to know about it.
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2023.06.09 01:25 AuthorInHell Sweet Cheeks
This is definitely a fanfiction, something to write when I need to get my brain off of my book! Enjoy it! Or don't, I'm not your mom.
I think I heard somewhere once that the worst days of your life start off the most mundane. Or maybe I just made that up to stop myself from overthinking every little moment that lead up to this one.
The morning started like any other (as I alluded to), birds were singing, annoyingly loud, and the sun was shining in a way that most people would describe as beautiful, but I'd describe it as sharp. Every beam of UV ray that fell from the sky jabbed into my eyes and back into my pounding skull.
"Doing alright there, Winnie?" A sweet voice asked. I looked up into Doris's eyes, full of a mixture of sympathy and amusement. I let out some kind of whine/groan and dropped my head back into my hands, where it belonged, shielding me from the offensively cheery woman standing in front of the offensively cheery light.
A loud clunk sounded and I peaked with one eye to see an empty bottle of tequila had appeared on the table in front of me. "I see you had quite the fun night," she laughed.
"Doris," I started, then stopped, wincing at the sound of my gravelly voice. I cleared my throat and started again. "Doris, woman of great kindness and wisdom, lady who hath helped raise me in this cruel and twisted world, I beg of you, get that goddamn bottle away from me, because if I catch one wiff of that stuff I'm gonna hurl."
"I'd be surprised if you have anything left in you to do so, considering the noises coming from the bathroom at 3am." The bottle was gone, tossed in the trash. I officially changed my stance on where my head belonged, picturing myself nestled in the white plastic alongside the empty carton of milk and the source of my shame.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. Polly and I were just so caught up in celebrating her graduation, I didn't even realize how much we had been drinking until-"
"Until it all came back up," Polly finished, stumbling into the kitchen. "Yeah, same."
Doris just shook her head at us, but there was a small smile on her lips. I grabbed her hand and looked up at her pleadingly.
"Forgive me, mommy Doris?"
"There's nothing to forgive, you two were just having some fun. But you are far too old to be giving me puppy dog eyes when you think you've done something wrong, Winnie!"
"Am I also far too old for you to keep calling me Winnie? I feel like I should be sitting here in nothing but a red t-shirt, sipping honey out of a bottle." I grumbled.
"Actually, I think you did that exact thing last night," Polly teased. "Except replace honey with tequila."
Doris laughed as I glared at her. "How in gods name are you not more hungover? You drank more than I did."
"Because she's 21, and you're 25. Old, Winnie dear, too old." Doris said as she walked out of the kitchen. My jaw dropped in mock outrage as I watched her go, glancing at Polly, who was trying to cover her chortles with a cup of coffee. It didn't go well.
"Okay, well this OLD LADY is going to go shower and get ready for work," I huffed.
"Don't forget to oil your knees, grandma."
I stole the coffee out of Polly's hands for that comment alone, and her protests followed me up to the shower.
Okay, so maybe it didn't start out JUST like every other day. I don't wake up hungover all that often. More often than I should, yes, but hardly every day. Keeping up with a 21 year old is incredibly difficult.
Work, on the other hand, was exactly the same. Lights on at nine, jukebox playing some country song that was too sad to be playing this early in the morning, Richard shuffling in to get his Irish coffee before church so he didn't get the shakes in the middle of his sermon. Small country town, small country life, small country bar.
Small country girl.
Maybe not for much longer, though. I swore to myself years ago that I wouldn't be stuck in this town like everyone else, but then Jim died. Polly was only 14, and Doris was an old fashion housewife, staying home to raise her daughter. I, on the other hand, was 18, and when they had brought me into their home, Jim took one look at my temper and said he knew what to do with me. Taught me all he knew about hunting, guns, and even archery. He said he liked how the bow felt in his arms, and I did too.
Polly wasn't interested in any of it. She loved animals too much. I mean, I love animals too, don't get me wrong. Show me a puppy and I'm babbling nonsense with the rest of you. But there was always something peaceful about being in the woods, surrounded by nature.
Anyway, to get back on track, I became the man of the house. I got a job at the bar to start bringing in money, I fixed things that were broken around the house, sold deer meat and bear hides for extra money. Whatever I could to help them stay on their feet.
Now, though, now Polly had graduated. She already had a job lined up at the veterinarian office in town, where her fiancé also worked. She'd be able to take care of herself, and Doris, without my help. I could leave.
The thought sent a wave of both excitement and extreme bitterness through my chest.
I sighed to myself as I dumped ice in the well. Bad thing about working a bar on a Sunday, no one is coming in until after church hours. Which means I get to be alone with my thoughts until then.
"That's gonna be future me's issue," I said to the air, and busied myself with cutting fruit.
Now, the GOOD thing about working the bar on a Sunday, or really any day, is that you know everyone who is going to walk through that door, and you know exactly what they're going to order.
Small towns like this, everyone old enough to drink is a regular. (Sometimes even people who aren't old enough to drink, but the sheriff doesn't need to know that.)
Preacher Richard is at the high top by the jukebox, drinking his Irish coffee that he tells everyone is just normal coffee, but no one believes him. I mean, I have a special pot I use just for him so no one sees me putting the shots in, but they can all still see me grab a different pot when I refill his cup. Plus, whiskey smells.
His wife is next to him, sipping ice water with EXTRA lemon, the surly old bitch. Tony the tire guy is playing pool with some of the guys from his shop, drinking round after round of Budweiser and whiskey shots. (Whiskey is very popular amongst us country folk.)
You have Mariah, the token rich girl, who married the quarterback. Or left fielder? Goalie? I don't know, but I know he drinks miller by the case while she sips on a vodka soda, pretending she's not too good for all of us.
Point is, I know everyone. Makes for a predictable day. What did I tell you?
Thirteen hour shifts are long, though, so when they're also mundane, you kind of start to feel like you're going crazy.
Until two extremely tall, extremely fit, extremely...(how do I say this politely?) fucking hot, strangers walk through the door.
I swear on Preacher Richards bald head, I'm not being dramatic when I say the bar went silent. Mariah's mouth was actually hanging open. So was Preacher Richards wife's. I had to stifle a laugh at that one.
They strolled up to the bar, so casually that you could tell they were trying SUPER hard to be casual.
"Well, I haven't said this in so long, I hope it comes out okay," I say, breaking the silence. "But what can I get for you gentlemen?"
Tony the tire guy laughs, and takes a shot, and the spell is broken. Mostly. You really can't completely break it, these guys were like six foot something and so beautiful I could weep. Also, there was the fact that they were glancing around like they expect Preacher Richard to stand up and pop them one.
"So...? Beer? Whiskey? Nuts?" I offered, waving a bowl of peanuts in front of them.
The man with the shorter...well, everything, let out a soft chuckle at that.
"I'll take a whiskey, double, on the rocks."
"You're gonna want to be a bit more specific, darlin, because if not, you stand the chance of me pouring you the whiskey that Tony the tire guy drinks, and I'm pretty sure we buy it FROM him. Like, he makes it in his basement."
The guy physically recoils. "You got makers?"
"Sure do, sweet cheeks." I turned to busy myself looking for the dusty bottle so he couldn't see the look on my face as I mentally chastised myself. Sweet cheeks? SWEET CHEEKS? I'm not some old lady working the counter at a diner in the 50's. I'm also not IN my 50's.
"Uh, ma'am. There's a bottle on the shelf right there." The man said, gesturing when I turned back to him.
"Well if you knew that, why'd you ask?" I tried to tease, hoping to pass that mortifying moment unscathed. I dropped a few ice cubes into a rocks glass, dumped a whole lot more than a double of makers in with it, and handed it to him. He looked mildly alarmed at the amount, but didn't comment. Smart man.
"And for your friend?"
"Uh, just a beer for me, thanks."
I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Right, right, specifics. Uh, miller is fine."
Pop goes the bottle. "Tab?"
"What?" The long one questioned.
"Do you want to start a tab? Cause I'm gonna need to hold a card."
"You hold cards here?" The whiskey drinker asked in disbelief.
"Well, normally, no. But to be frank with you, I don't know you two, and by the reaction of the half of the town currently sitting in my bar, neither does anyone else. I'd rather not have to pay the tab of some beautiful strangers when I'm probably already gonna have to cover Phil's tab, because I haven't seen him in like an hour, and he bought a round for everyone straight outta church."
Great, first actual vomit, then word vomit.
Both men were staring at me as if I was deranged, which I was starting to believe I might be, but Whiskey Man pulled out a card and handed it to me.
"Thank you..." I glanced down at the card, "Leonard??"
"He goes by Lenny." Long boy said. Lenny glared at him but shot me a sheepish grin.
At least I wasn't the only weird one. I went to type in their order and placed the card in the register.
"Question for you," Lenny said.
"Do beautiful strangers get discounts?"
My mind flashed back to my unintentional compliment and I felt my face start to flush, but I just shot back "Not when they go by Lenny."
Long boy laughed and Lenny looked offended. "Lenny is a good name!"
I winced and looked at his friend. "How long have you been telling him that lie?"
"Long enough for him to believe it." He said, taking a swig from his beer.
Just then, a loud, slurring voice sang out (incredibly off key), "Wiiiiinnnnieeeee." And Phil magically appeared from the bathroom.
"Winnie? Really? And you're making fun of my name?"
I shot him a glare and turned my back. "Well, Phil, I'm glad to see you're still here, cause you owe me about $70. Plus tip."
"Oh, Winnie, don't be like that. Another round!"
"Nope, no more rounds, Phil. In fact, I think it's time for you to head home." I made eye contact with Tony, and he put his pool stick down to walk over. "Will you grab his wallet for me?"
Tony stuck his hand down Phil's pocket, which used to make me laugh, but this happened so often that I just found it tiring.
"Here, Win. Keep the change," Tony tossed me a hundred.
Phil worked for him part time, when he was sober enough to get his head out of the toilet, but he had sold his dads farm off to some rich overlords, so he was rolling in dough.
As Tony lead Phil out, I noticed that the two newcomers had set themselves up at a table. I also noticed the deputy, who was off duty with a beer in hand but still had his badge on full view (probably because it was bigger than his dick. Seriously. I would know.), walk up to them with a swagger that only a small town cop could have. I wanted to spy, but Phil being escorted out is always the catalyst that ends the night. Preacher Richards wife pays for the "coffee", and no tip, though the man himself slips me a $50 for keeping his not-so-secret secret, Mariah pays for her husbands miller pack with a smile, etc.
I glance at the clock and sure enough, it's 9:30. I will never understand how these people spend all day at a bar. Regardless of the fact that, I, too, have spent my whole day here. It's different, ok? Anyway, by the time it was over, the deputy had warned the boys or puffed out his skinny chest or whatever it is he does, handed me a ten with a wink (ew) and left. I began cleaning up the trash, keeping an eye on the two.
"Was it something we said?" Lenny asked, sipping his whiskey.
"Well, they heard your name was Lenny, and they knew that this was no longer the cool spot in town," I wiped off rings on the bar, a little too aggressively, trying to stay calm.
"It's Winsley, actually. Look, guys. Not to ruin the small town charm, but I close in 30 minutes. The gas station down the street is open til 11, if you wanna grab some beer for your hotel."
"Oh, yeah, that's our bad. Let's head out, Lenny."
"Oh, sure thing, Barry!"
A grimace crossed over Long Boys (Barry's?) face as I let out a surprised laugh.
"Lenny and Barry, really?"
I swiped their card and handed them the receipt.
"Yeah, our uh, our parents were stoners." Barry said.
"Oh, brothers. Couldn't tell if it was that or gay lovers."
"Yeah, I really wish we didn't get that as much as we do." Lenny said, signing the paper. "Anyway. You have a good night, sweet cheeks."
Goddamn, I thought I had overserved my way past that moment. I watched them leave with a tingle of disappointment. Excitement quota for the year in Lander has been met and just waltzed out of my bar.
I glanced down at the receipt. $100 tip. Well, hot damn. (Seriously, why do I keep talking like this??)
I should say that this is set somewhere in season 2. I'm going to follow the main storyline as closely as possible, but the hunts and such may be a bit out of order.
LMK what you think!
submitted by AuthorInHell
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2023.06.09 01:08 AndroidShelf44 I have absolutely no privacy, every single conversation gets twisted into criticising me, and apparently I am the one who is incapable of living "in community".
I am 22M and I still live with my parents, I believe my father is a narcissist and that would be the tamest term I would use. Also, big disclaimer that this will be a dump of some of the things that bother me the most about my life until now as it relates to my parents. I am afraid some of this stuff is gonna sound like massive 1st world problems but honestly, if it's not here and through a secondary account, when where else could I vent about it?
I also feel like I brought this upon myself because I'm still 22 and still living with them, and get reminded of how pathetic I am every single day for that fact. I returned from graduating uni a few months back, and unfortunately, I haven't managed to find a full time job despite my efforts. I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to afford to move out now, and the average emancipation age in my country is over 30 years old, it'd be a fucking miracle.
At 18, I got the chance to study my entire degree in a foreign country, and I didn't even blink. Just the idea of having 3 entire years, which seemed like an eternity at the time but then came and went in a flash, 3 entire years when I would be able to finally have any sort of privacy in my life, that I wouldn't have to put up with my father's unpredictable mood swings and obsession with making everyone else feel like shit, plus they would be super-willing to help me financially through it, it seemed like a dream.
And it was. All my life I have had to share rooms with my brother, who is just over a year younger. It's not because we couldn't afford two separate rooms, in fact, we shared one where we slept and changed clothes, and one where we'd study and entertain ourselves. I don't know, I guess my parents thought it would be an amazing idea to force two brothers of close age to share everything, and to keep them like that despite them being like oil and water. My brother would bully me from the moment he was able to do so. Every time I'd meet new kids at the park or when we went somewhere, we would then manage to turn them all against me just to make me miserable. He would break my stuff, he would embarrass me in front of others, and he would also physically attack me, as I am a pacifist. Nowadays, he likes to belittle me for being less fit, for having friends he deems "weird" because some of them happen to be autistic, and also belittles my career (finance) for not being a STEM field, despite him being stuck in 1st year of engineering for the 3rd year in a row. Also threatens to beat me up if I ever stand up to him, and he could.
So with that context, after spending 3 years not having to deal with that shit, I come back. Suddenly, I remember all the bullshit. I cannot close the door, my father has threatened with removing it twice now. My brother likes to sit behind me and peep into my laptop for hours at a time, and I am not allowed to set it up anywhere else. I still have to sleep in a bed one meter away from someone I have hated my whole life.
My father is a fucking asshole. All he has ever cared about is his fucking bicycle. If it rains and means he can't do his route this Saturday, then he unloads that frustration on us. Same with any frustrations he has but he really cares too much about that specific thing. Only thing he ever did to bond with us was teach us to ride a bike, since then he has been disappointed every time our preferences didn't align. Never cared about the things me or my brother liked, like video games, astronomy or music. In fact, he has literally stated that he'd rather me being taking drugs under a bridge than playing an online game with my irl friends. There are some things we actually have in common, like he loves skiing but since I'm not as good as him and my brother, and being around him normally already feels like walking on eggshells, then imagine that but skiing. And he and I are also big Metallica fans, and he took me to a concert recently, but I will never go to anything with him again. He blew his chances at being liked or even tolerated beyond necessity.
He is the worst person I know to be around. Every misstep you make, every minuscule inefficient movement you perform, everything you do that isn't up to his particular way of doing things, he will turn into a fucking lecture, remind you of every single instance, talk you down to and essentially make you feel like you're a useless piece of trash. What else, he fucking hates to see a door that is close. The door our room where I have my stuff set up goes out to the entrance of the apartment, for some fucking reason, and yet, I am not able to have it closed. Every time he sees it he has to open it, remark on how he doesn't like the temperature in a room HE NEVER USES, and leave it open. Lately also threatening to remove the door altogether. And he installed a magnet to keep the door fully open as well.
Another example, from just today. For some reason, he wants to mess around with the home telephones, which all connect to the same number and I have one on my desk. Well, he decides he wants to mess around with this shit without telling me beforehand, so of course he yells at me because I didn't clear the space, because god forbid there are things on my fucking table, because it is hotter in a room containing a human and a laptop than in the other empty rooms, which obviously is my fucking fault, and I also had an important online meeting scheduled for that precise time. Of course, it ends up with him storming out yelling about whatever the fuck annoys him, which is absolutely everything you can think of.
When I returned to our home town from uni I had to get surgery, which in short, left me with a pretty big wound in an awkward place, which needed healing. I followed all of what the doctor said, but my father disagreed. He fucking belittled the doctor because he hated seeing that I would spend time playing video games at some point when I was supposed to stay home and let it heal. He thinks he knows more than the freaking doctors man.
Another quirk of the man is he's a fucking Karen, and racist to boot although he wouldn't act racist in public. He often comes bragging about how he yelled or insulted a random person on the street or on the road because they "didn't follow the rules". Like a girl not wearing a mask in the metro for a minute (already in 2023 btw), or someone didn't use their blinkers properly or whatever. Like minor stuff you would be annoyed about, ignore and go on with your life. He likes to talk a lot about how we should be careful in the streets and avoid trouble, yet he is constantly buying tickets to get his ass handed to him with the way he treats others.
My mother suffers a lot, yet she won't try anything to solve the situation. She basically gets as much shit as I do, and instead of supporting each other because we love each other, she get angry at me because I did some otherwise normal or minor thing that got my father fired up, and she had to "defend me". Many of us in the family, including myself and her sister, have asked her to consider divorce, but it's like she never listens. Last year my father didn't talk to us for like 2 weeks after he ruined my brother's 20th birthday by being an asshole and making everyone uncomfortable at what should have been a nice lunch, and my mother supposedly "made things clear" to him after that, (btw he never apologised), yet now it's like that never happened at all. She will be miserable at how he treats her and us, in one moment, he will storm out of the place with a door slam, and then next day they seem to have forgotten that, its seriously fucking uncanny.
Lately, I have tried leaving the room whenever I couldn't be bother to up up with his shit, but he chases me around the apartment. I have even left meals without finishing because his beer-fueled ramblings start to push my buttons. One day, when my mother was out of town I left the food he prepared on the table and went to spend the entire afternoon to my grandparents (mother's parents), because he kept acting like an asshole towards me even after the 5th time of "stopping". He threatened to beat me (has never done so), but I didn't give a shit, left and spent such a chill evening with 2 people who actually care for each other and their family, until my brother told me we went to sleep. I ignored his messages through that day, and he sometimes still brings up that I still have to answer. I didn't tell him where I had gone, though I thought it was pretty obvious, it was also a rainy day. Apparently he was "worried", good fuck him.
Other times, I try to actually stand out for myself and match his tone, or just reply to his bullshit. It either ends in a competition to see who can yell loudest, him declaring how everything I own is "his", how he is going to kick me out, and would only end by him starting to yell how I'm an idiot, how I'm an ignorant, with absolutely no arguments, just denial of the truths I speak to him.
Honestly, I can't wait to move out ASAP. I have good friends but they got shit to deal with of their own, and I don't feel like I deserve the hospitality of other family members. My grandfather (father's) treated him similarly, and of course he did the mega infinite IQ strategy of repeating the cycle, because he's a fucking idiot. But now my grandfather will defend my father and always be on his side, so I can't even count on them.
I want to have kid(s) at some point, I hope I'm not stupid enough to engage on that cycle myself.
If you read all the way here, I'm honestly impressed. Thanks.
submitted by AndroidShelf44
to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 01:03 raisedbutconfused Had the absolute worst day
Came into work with a pretty bad muscle spasm in my back. Could barely walk and forget about bending over for anything.
The place where I work essentially forces me to work 4 jobs at once in the mornings- bartending, serving, hosting, bussing, and take-out. It gets busy in the mornings and I have to handle roughly $1000 in sales on my own (usually more), and that’s not including take-out and UbeDoordash. Every now and then they give me server support, but they’re often too cheap to do that.
First table I get is a table of teenagers. There were 7 of them so it’s an autograt. They were super impatient and kept demanding stupid little things the whole time and acting like they were my only table, tried rushing everything I did. I go to get the bill and as I’m putting in the autogratuity, one of the owners (let’s call him Asshole) tells me that the autogratuity (that we have been doing for years) is too high, and demands I put it lower.
Next table that comes in while I’m already dealing with this is just as bad- 3 top of two women and a boy. The kid just keeps screaming over anything I’m saying demanding things, and the mother is doing jack about it. Literally- “can I start you off with sparkling wa—“ “I WANT A PIZZA” “okay, which pizza?” “The meatlovers” “okay one meatlovers pizza, can I start you all off with water?” “NO CARAMELIZED ONIONS” “okay…no caramelized onions…any water for the table?” The mom- “yes, I’ll have sparkling, she’ll have tap.” Mom starts to order and while I’m taking it down- “I WANT A LEMONADE” just ignoring him at this point, taking the adults’ orders. I repeat everything back to them and the kid just starts screaming “PIZZA AND LEMONADE PIZZA AND LEMONADE” and the mom is just laughing and stroking his hair.
Then I get a little busy, maybe 7 tables in and I hit a point where everybody has what they need and I have a moment to use the bathroom. Asshole comes and aggressively jiggles the handle and tries to enter the bathroom for about 10 seconds. I wash my hands and he starts screaming at me for using the bathroom.
All this while I’m close to tears my back hurts so much.
It starts to drizzle outside and our two tables in the patio get wet, including the roll-ups. I have tables that need immediate attention, so I leave it for the moment since it’s not urgent and the damage is already done.
One of the other owners (let’s call him Dickhead) points to the glasswasher and demands I clean the garbage from the tray. I clean it and he starts yelling that it’s unacceptable to keep it that way. Because apparently I have all this time on my hands to clean shit while doing all these other things.
Finally finishing up, last table closes up and I start my closing duties for the morning shift. Dickhead runs to the back where I’m doing rollups and starts screaming at me that the rollups on the patio got wet.
I finally leave and try getting home. Subway is down at the station I need to get to, so I get off one station earlier where it was going to turn back and see my bus is there. It only comes once every 40 minutes or so so I was pretty happy, but this asshole sees me coming up and starts to close the doors and drive off. I run in front of the bus and he stops, gets all pissed and opens the doors, screaming at me that he had been there all day. I reply “congratulations, I’ve been at my job all day, too.” He makes a face but doesn’t respond.
Finally get home and my back is still absolutely killing me to the point that I am close to tears. I am exhausted, in pain, beaten down, and have been disrespected all fucking day.
Just one of those days where everything seems to go wrong, it seems.
submitted by raisedbutconfused
to Serverlife [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 01:00 Alert-Pen5722 I think my daughter might be gay
I am just unsure how to deal with this whole situation and was wondering if anybody could help with any advice as I am certainly in uncharted territories also throwaway since my daughter follows my main
So basically the last week I came home one after work and I just go into the kitchen as I normally do and start cooking presuming my daughter (16F) (named Alice for the purposes of this) was just upstairs studying/ playing video games in her room as this is normally the case whenever I get home.I finish cooking and head up to her room to let her know that dinner was ready for her and when I open the door (yes my bad for not knocking) I saw her and her best friend both on her bed doing what seemed to be making out with added spice and of course in bras. I was nonetheless quite shocked but I tried to remain the cool sex positive mom and just apologized and left the room for a couple minutes for them both to get dressed before coming back in and telling Alice dinner was ready and offering for her friend Lily (Fake name) to be able to stay for dinner if she wanted, maybe that was silly of me I was just tryna be cool.
Lily refused and just quickly left the house which to be frank I can understand. if my mom walked in on me getting up to stuff with a boy I'd be the same. However it's the reaction of my daughter that's the most concerning I tried be nice and cheery and not really mention the incident. However I'm a little concerned that she hasn't mentioned it since or even talked about the fact she seems to be into girls.We are a very supportive household and would totally be in support or any conversation she wanted to have.
While I am surprised about it she definitely didn't "seem gay" to me or anything but that doesn't matter I'm still perfectly happy with her whomever she likes but I just wish she'd speak to me about it. I don't want to initiate the conversation since I feel like that may just be too embarrassing for her and I don't want to push her away more.Just wondering if I am doing the right thing here? and if not what is the correct way to handle this kind of thing? She's sixteen she's independant and I know that her sexuality and who she is attracted to is quite frankly none of my business however I still wished she felt comfortable to talk to me.
submitted by Alert-Pen5722
to Advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 00:56 NickM406 Struggling in my [28M] 1yr 7mo relationship with [31M]
Where to begin? This is going to be long.
My partner and I have been together for 1 year 7 months. He moved into my house 3 months ago. I am really struggling and can't seem to make up my mind if I should end it and kick him out.
We've had a number of big fights over time that stem from concerns that I bring up, and in the end he pretty much thinks that I'm the problem. Slight background on me: in my previous relationship, my partner cheated with 14 other people (that I'm aware of), so I do have trust issues that I work on in therapy. [Concern 1]
VERY early into our relationship, I made the mistake of going through his phone and found a number of red flags (at least they are to me). The largest concern of mine being that he was still consistently visiting a website called Doublelist (basically Craigslist for sex). I confronted him about it and we had a huge fight. He ended up telling me he deleted the account. Fast forward to just a week and a half ago, I saw that same website was in my routers DNS logs (I'm in IT and monitor my network). I confronted him about it again, and brought up the fact that he told me he deleted his account, and he got irate. He stated that "If this ever came up again, he was going to leave" but apparently changed his mind. His alleged reason for visiting the site is that he "likes to look around when he's having doubts about us and then after a couple minutes realizes I'm enough for him". I told him that I'd never "go shopping" for other people when in a committed relationship.
On top of this, I know he hasn't been truthful about some people he communicates with. I know they have a past yet he denies it. [Concern 2]
When he moved in we decided that he'd pay for utilities. One evening recently I said "Hey, just so you know, I sent you a couple Venmo requests for last months utilities", as he has notifications turned off. He got mad immediately and said "Well it's not like you need it, it'll have to wait". He did end up paying, but that was the first time I felt like I was being taken advantage of.
A few days after that, I had gone to the grocery store and purchased food for both of us, gave him the receipt, and asked for him to calculate and send me his share. This still hasn't happened, even with a reminder.
A couple months ago, he "asked" out of the blue "Please look into adding me to your health insurance". I said that it would only be possible if we were in a domestic partnership (not available in our state anymore) or married. He said that we should get into a domestic partnership, which I said we can't. [Concern 3]
Emotional Manipulation & Availability
Every time that I would like to have a discussion about my concerns, things that are bothering me, or anything related to emotions, he responds in a way that makes it feel like I, and only I, am the problem. Here's an example of a recent exchange:
Him: Consistent negativity or foul moods affect me whether you mean to or not. So much of what I do is beginning to be mentally associated with negative feelings. This needs to be addressed. Me: Let's talk when you're done with work. Him: What is there to discuss? Me: How I'm feeling Him: We just had a long discussion. I don't want to keep having the same discussion. I'm sorry. Me: It's not the same discussion. If you don't want to listen to what I am struggling with, then that's a problem. Him: If it's anything to do with anything I am doing I am not interested in exploring it.
This exchange is what really set things off. Since then, he's been hiding in rooms and I've barely seen him. It's been 5 days. Finally, the other day, he came out when I was sitting outside and started saying things like "I think we can work through this, I love you" etc.
This is NOT the first time something like this has come up. Additional things he's said to me recently that are red flags:
- I don't know what I like to do anymore because you constantly beat me down with small comments
- I don't use your wi-fi network because I think you're spying on me
- I didn't forward mail to the house because I think you'd open it and judge me about my financial situation
- I would have never considered moving in with someone that has cameras (one in the driveway, one outside the front door) because it's creepy, but I love you so I can deal with it
There's more, but this is already long as hell, so...
I know there are always things I can work on to be a better partner. That's part of life. However, I am concerned I am being emotionally manipulated and taken advantage of financially.
I'm really at a loss here lately. I'm not sure WHY it's so difficult for me to decide whether to keep trying to end it, but it's really making day-to-day life unbearable.
submitted by NickM406
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry
NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
- What do you think he makes? BARRY:
- Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry:
- Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE:
- Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM:
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
- It's like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA:
- Maybe I'll try that. (A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the table) CUSTODIAN:
- You all right, ma'am? VANESSA:
- Oh, yeah. Fine. : Just having two cups of coffee! BARRY: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. VANESSA== Yeah, it's no trouble. BARRY: Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. (Barry points towards the rum cake) : Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry) BARRY:
- Thanks! VANESSA:
- Yeah. BARRY: All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
: Or not. VANESSA: OK, Barry... BARRY: And thank you so much again... for before. VANESSA: Oh, that? That was nothing. BARRY: Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... (Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because her hands is to big and Barry holds that) (The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off the ladder) (Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute in a Honex wind tunnel) BEE SCIENTIST #1: This can't possibly work. BEE SCIENTIST #2: He's all set to go. We may as well try it. : OK, Dave, pull the chute. (Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking together) ADAM:
- Sounds amazing. BARRY:
- It was amazing! : It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
- We're all jammed in. : It's a close community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. BARRY:
- What if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD:
- You a mosquito, you in trouble. : Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY: At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. : Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it) You got to be kidding me! : Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! (Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there are other mosquito's hanging out) :
- Hey, guys! OTHER MOSQUITO:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
- And I'm Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, : intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, : packaging it and profiting from it illegally! JEANETTE CHUNG: Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, : we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, : Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry) BEE LARRY KING: Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. : Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? BARRY: Bees have never been afraid to change the world. : What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? BEE LARRY KING: Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
: We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. BARRY: How old are you? BEE LARRY KING: The bee community is supporting you in this case, : which will be the trial of the bee century. BARRY: You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. BEE LARRY KING: It's a common name. Next week... BARRY: He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... BEE LARRY KING: Next week... BARRY: Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. BEE LARRY KING: Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live. (Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen) BARRY: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. (Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing)
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case) (Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa) BARRY: I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. VANESSA: I think the jury's on our side. BARRY: Are we doing everything right,you know, legally? VANESSA: I'm a florist. BARRY: Right. Well, here's to a great team. VANESSA: To a great team! (Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa) KEN: Well, hello. VANESSA:
- Oh, Ken! BARRY:
- Hello! VANESSA: I didn't think you were coming. : No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... (Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge) ...the battery... VANESSA:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
- You got the tweezers? LAWYER:
- Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only to losing, son. Only to losing. : Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. : What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) : to that woman? BARRY: We're friends. MONTGOMERY:
- Good friends? BARRY:
- Yes. MONTGOMERY: How good? Do you live together? ADAM: Wait a minute... : MONTGOMERY: Are you her little... : ...bedbug? (Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated) I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,
: doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? BARRY:
- Yeah, but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing at Janet and Martin)
- So those aren't your real parents! JANET:
- Oh, Barry... BARRY:
- Yes, they are! ADAM: Hold me back! (Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? ADAM: He's denouncing bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't y'all date your cousins? (Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam) VANESSA:
- Objection! (Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery) =ADAM:
- I'm going to pincushion this guy! BARRY: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! (Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
- No! : No one's flying the plane! BUD DITCHWATER: (Through radio on plane) This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? VANESSA: This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. BUD: Where's the pilot? VANESSA: He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. BUD: Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? BARRY: As a matter of fact, there is. BUD:
- Who's that? BARRY:
- Barry Benson. BUD: From the honey trial?! Oh, great. BARRY: Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. : It's got giant wings, huge engines.
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
- Sure is. BARRY: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. (Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being) [--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard talking over the credits--] You have got to start thinking bee, my friend! :
- Thinking bee!
- Me? BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, BarryBARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
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2023.06.09 00:40 Impressive_Garlic_46 Groomed by my teacher, but in denial. I need some validation that this really happened.
TLDR: He never did anything sexual with me as a teenager or as an adult, but he did intend on something happening as an adult.
He was 32 (m) and I was 15 (f) when we met. He was the assistant principal of my school. I had a crush on him as soon as I saw him. I already had a teacher fantasy (thanks pretty little liars) so I would day dream about him.
I chatted him up introduced myself and built an appropriate relationship. He was my confidant, my mentor, my friend. I never trusted an adult as much as I trusted him. I loved him in every way love can be. I would spend hours a day in his office skipping class to be with him and he'd let me. The only time I stopped flirting with him was when I was crying to him about my life and he was comforting me.
Eventually he started to playfully flirt back, not heavy but light. I could barely tell he was flirting with me. I knew he was, but I figured he would never flirt with a student. If he would have initiated anything with me as a teenager, I would have done it. I would have done anything he asked me to, no matter what it was.
A few weeks into my sophomore year I got taken into foster care because of my home life. He was at the school meeting where they came to get us. The whole time I could tell something was wrong with him, he was sad and withdrawn, but kept his eyes on me. He saw my heart break that day. I was sent to homes far from my high school, so I didn't see him for months. I was finally able to visit him, but security didn't want me on campus. We talked on the phone often.
Junior year I was enrolled in a new school in a different city. My first day was his first day too. As soon as we saw each other our faces lit up and we hugged, probably a little too long. He didn't want me in his office as much as he let me at the other school. He said it was because he didn't want to show me special treatment in front of everyone else. The other thing he said was that it would look weird if I was in there so much. If it wasn't anything more than a mentorship, why would it look weird? He would see me get into my adult boyfriends cars and never said anything to me about it. Is that because he didn't care if I dated men? Eventually I had to leave that school. He left the next school year and moved to a different school.
Throughout all of his different schools we always kept up. When I turned 18, he gave me his personal number. We would talk on the phone and text sporadically, nothing other than what friends would talk about. Every time we'd talk, he'd ask me if I was still with my bf.
A few years later (I'm 22, he's 41) I found him on IG and followed him, he followed me back and we started talking again. Much more often than before. We caught up on each other’s lives. Once there was no more catching up to do, we kept talking. Just talking about friend stuff still. Sometimes he would text me late at night. We made plans to hang out next time I was back home.
When I went back home, we decided to hang out. I wanted to get coffee or lunch. He said it would look weird if anyone saw us out together, and suggested I come over to his place. I was reluctant and red flags were going off in my head, but I ignored them and went over anyway. I could trust him. I told my sisters and I told them I would check in with them twenty minutes after I got there. I forgot to check in and they called, I should have texted her to make up an emergency. But I didn't.
We talked for hours. I was probably over there for 4-5 hours just talking. At some point he talked about how attractive I was and have always been. He told me that when me and my siblings got put into foster care, he tried to get my brother to live with him, but by time he decided to do it my aunt had got him. He told me he didn't try to get me because it might have looked weird. He asked questions about my relationship and somehow made it natural to ask about my sex life. I told him my problems in that department. Then he started to talk about his sex life and high sex drive. I was uncomfortable when he was talking about it but I let it slide. Like I said, I trusted him. He gave me a tour of his place; garage, kitchen, guest rooms, and ended the tour in his bedroom. I didn't think a single thing about that until years later, when I realized he groomed me. He was defiantly wanting something by showing me his bedroom, right? Hours later I left and we kept in touch often over text, again nothing nefarious. Looking back at it there might have been some light flirting on his side.
Next time I went back home we made plans to hang out. His place had flooded so he was living in a very nice hotel during renovations. The first time I went over everything was totally normal innocent even, until we hugged goodbye. It was a long hug.
I went over there to hang out the night after or the night after that I can't remember exactly. I hung out with him 3-4 times. Not realizing what was happening until the last time I went over there. The second time we hung out he moved to the couch I was on. We were opposite sides of the small couch. We talked for a while and then he put on TV in the background. I didn't think anything of it. I left and another long hug happened. Again, I thought nothing of it.
I went over to his hotel one more time and it was the last time I saw him. When I arrived the lights were low, a candle was burning, and there was music playing. That was the first time I really thought about the situation, but I buried that deep down... because I trusted him. Nothing happened other than us talking. After I left I texted him and asked if he was flirting with me, and he said he was but its innocent because that’s what you do with your adult friends. I knew that was bs when he said it. But of course, I buried that too.
Ever since I turned him down, he has hardly talked to me. Every time we talked, I was initiating it. We would send maybe 10-15 texts and then he would stop responding. He abandoned me, and it hurt. He was my rock during my teenage years.
I kept in contact with him for 4 years after the last time we saw each other. One day I finally realized that he had been grooming me. I started to question our entire relationship.
I messaged him innocently asking why he showed such an interest in me as a teen. He basically told me it was because my home life was shit and that I was vulnerable and special. I asked him why I was special. I don't remember his response though. I prodded more and then he stopped answering. I think he finally caught on to what I was really asking. A few days later and still no response. I decided to block him on all social media, and delete and block his number. I was so proud of myself. This was 4 months ago.
I thought of him a lot the first months or so. Then I forgot about him for a while. The other day I was putting a kitchen appliance away and it made me think of him. How he has literally nothing on his counter tops, everything is stored in the cabinets. Thinking about how weird that was turned my stomach. Then I started to think about everything he had done, good and bad. Both made me feel like I was going to throw up.
I started to think about the possibility that he never really thought I was special; that I was just easy prey. That I wasn't the only girl he had a close relationship with. Maybe he was doing this with other girls too. As a teenager all I wanted was to be special to an adult, and he gave that to me. But if I wasn't special and just another target that means that I wasn't special to anyone. I want him to have only done this to me for 2 reasons. 1) I don't want other girls going through this. 2) I want to have been special.
2) fucks me up. I shouldn't still want validation from this man. I crave the validation though. As a teenager I grew dependent on him. He built me up, gave me confidence and showed me love I'd never had before. But now after realizing everything he did to me I have no confidence. I am completely broken. I feel hopeless and confused. I feel sick to my stomach every moment of the day. I can't think of anything else but this. Regardless of all of the negative feelings he is causing me, I miss him. I miss our friendship and being able to lean on him when I'm going through a rough time. I could tell him literally anything and he wouldn't judge me. He had no involvement in my problems and was always in my corner. I still need someone like that, and I wish it could be him. I wish he never had any ulterior motives and that I could still lean on him.
I really hope that his affection for me when he started to get to know me wasn't just about taking advantage of me. I want it to be that he grew to have these feelings about me. It would mean I was special. Either way it's wrong and disgusting. But it would make me feel like he wasn't a total pos, just a confused man who made a huge mistake. It's still not acceptable.
I still can't accept that he groomed me. I know he did, but I keep telling myself that I'm over analyzing the situation. Nothing sexual ever happened, so it's not grooming. He always treated me with love and kindness. He was NEVER abusive, not even for a second. He didn't force me into anything. He just cared for me unconditionally, and he was the first person to care about me like that and actually give me the time and attention I needed. I also feel like this is all my fault because I had a crush on him before. Like I brought it upon myself.
I can't tell you all the number of times I've thought about unblocking him and messaging him. Or calling him and making up some excuse about needing a letter of recommendation. I tried to find the letter of recommendation he sent me a few years ago because I needed his validation, even if it was old.
I also want to reach out so I can call him out. Or accidently run into him when I'm back in my hometown so I can call him out. But I know he would gaslight me because that's what groomers do. He would never admit to it. I won't be able to make it through if he did that. I already gaslight myself enough. Hearing him deny or justify it would confirm my doubts. And if I didn't fall for his gaslighting I would be even more broken than I am now. If I did see him in public, I don't know what I'd do. I don't know if I'd run, ignore him, call him out, pretend everything is ok, or get sucked back in. At this moment I think I would get sucked back in. I would believe everything he would say. I would be the same teenage girl I was all those years ago, dotting on him.
I don't know what to do. I'm having extra sessions with my therapist and that’s helping in the moment. I don't want to miss him. I want to hate him and I want that hatred to eventually turn into indifference. I want to find peace. I don't want to love him anymore. (Just for clarification it's not a romantic love.)
It feels nice to share the full story with people other than my therapist and sisters.
If you've made it this far I whole heartedly appreciate it. It means so much to me. Thank you!
submitted by Impressive_Garlic_46
to groomingvictim [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 00:37 moonlight_reeds_2775 Vacation nightmare
Not my story but happened to someone in my group, also on mobile so sorry about formatting. Last night while we were at the pool a couple broke into our hotel room and stole all our electronics (2 iPads, 3 switches, a kids smart watch, and a backup charger) and our truck keys. They then took the truck in broad day light. We did not know the truck or belongings were missing because we went straight to bed after the pool. In the morning when we went to get stuff out of the truck we learned it had been stolen. We called the police, Toyota (for tracking but they disabled that), and insurance. About 20-30 minutes after that we got a call from US Customs that they have his truck. We drive 2.5 hours to Tijuana to get the truck and see if we had recognized the people who stole the truck. Most everything was taken out of the truck and the truck has significant damage. The guy who was driving had been released from prison three days ago. The couple is claiming that they borrowed the truck from a friend.
With them stealing from the hotel room what do you thing the hotel should be responsible for.
submitted by moonlight_reeds_2775
to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 00:21 Purple_Factor8577 Is there a striking difference between PCOS and Hyperthyroidism symptoms?
I am in the process of getting Health Insurance now, but until then I wanted to come here to see if anyone can relate or has heard of others having issues like mine.
I (24F) haven't really had much health care aside from er visits, my mom didnt keep up with this kind of stuff and I struggle to prioritize it but i'm hitting my last leg of energy this week -
Here is a list of everything I can think of /:
- I am exhausted no matter how much/little I go to sleep.
- Waking up earlier than 10 minutes before the very last second i need to leave - is impossible.
- I practically die walking any distance - But I feel weak in general
- Heat Flashes
- Nausea - usually all day but really spikes in waves
- I get boils around my body pretty frequently
- Sometimes the very tip of my big right toe gets a little numb - i can feel but it just kinda happens sometimes
- Depression - i've dealt with my entire life but it has been alot worse this week
- Dark skin behind neck and between thighs
- Weight gain - I have always been overweight, I am prioritizing being healthier but unless I am on a specific diet/method, I feel like I only gain weight and never maintain without it
- I'm also dealing with my 3rd ear infection this year and this time I got fed up and used a bobby pin (im goin thru it rn dont judge), i might've irritated it too much because it caused a lump/bubble on the outer side of my cheek near that ear. but those usually go away on their own
- (Thought of more) Irregular periods - sometimes i miss a month, sometimes i have it for 2 months straight
- If I dont eat before a certain time frame (after waking up) i'll get super shaky and light headed, not dizzy but just airy
I know this is vague and all over the place but these are things i have been dealing with since highschool and no matter how many times I go to an ER they just send me home with antibiotics
I understand I can't get a diagnosis here but i'm desperate
submitted by Purple_Factor8577
to medical [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 00:17 beenoc [Combat Robotics] Riptide: How one Battlebots team managed to just be the worst in every way
This drama is mainly about the events of Season 7/World Championship 7 (WC7), the season of Battlebots that aired in 2023. Big spoilers for the season inbound, including the overall winner
, along with spoilers of the outcomes and winners of previous seasons.
I will try my hardest to be unbiased which is hard because I am extremely biased and any attempt to be unbiased could only come across as enlightened centrism. I will simply try to keep the bias to a manageable level.
In case you don't know, Battlebots (well, combat robotics, but Battlebots is the most well-known and publicized event by an order of magnitude) is a... sport? Game? Hobby? Lifestyle? Where the goal is to throw two robots of a comparable weight against each other, with the goal to destroy each other. Battlebots itself is in the heavyweight category, with a 250 lb weight limit per robot. Other popular weight classes (relatively popular - heavyweight is the only televised one) are antweight (1 lb), beetleweight (3 lb), hobbyweight (12 lb), and lightweight (30 lb.) Battlebots itself airs on Discovery, generally with a main season and a spinoff season each year.
If you watched Battlebots back in the late 90s when it was on Comedy Central, you might remember robots that were basically big wedges pushing each other around a square and maybe occasionally taking a bit of armor off. That's not how it is anymore
. Bots are destructive, powerful, and great spectacles to watch fight. Seriously, you should watch Battlebots. It's on Discovery+ and
Max. If you don't want to spend the money,
Norwalk National Havoc Robotics League (NHRL)
has competitions every few months that are livestreamed for free on Youtube in the smaller weight classes.
In case it's not clear from the write-up, Battlebots is filmed usually in the fall, and the season airs spring the next year. So all of the events in this write-up occurred over a 2-week period in OctobeNovember 2022, but only were public drama as the episodes aired January-May 2023. Much like any reality/game show, all the builders, production, etc. knew the outcome of the season before anything aired, there's just millions of dollars of NDAs.
Something interesting about Battlebots that might surprise those unfamiliar with it is the culture. While teams work as hard as they can to reduce the other robot to splintered scrap in the box, back in the pits everyone is super awesome and nice and kind and helpful - a frequent occurrence is going to the pit of the bot you just took apart and seeing if there is any way you can help with the rebuild.
The classic example
is in the 2021 season, when the iconic Witch Doctor
's weapon disk kept breaking due to poor quality steel. They were scrambling to find material and resources to machine a new disk, when a ton of teams came together to save their season.
(yes, that's a trans Battlebot) lent them their pickup truck, to go pick up steel from a nearby supplier who was found by the captain of Team Blacksmith
They needed to recreate the failure to figure out was wrong, so Team Shatter
(the biggest, strongest hammer-bot in the competition) took their robot to the test box to try and break a disk.
They took the steel to the nearby build space of Team Chomp
, who stayed up all night on their waterjet to cut new disks (the new disks worked well, by the way.)
After the season, they still didn't know for sure what the cause was, so they worked with Team Hypershock
to create a dummy test robot, modeled after the very durable robot (and future 2022 champs) Tantrum
, they could test the old disks on. They then sent the broken disks to a materials science lab run by a friend of the captain of Team Tantrum to perform materials analysis.
Many of these teams had fought Witch Doctor in the past, others would fight them in the future. But that doesn't matter - in robot combat, everyone is friends outside the box.
Every year there are of course rookie bots competing for the first time. Sometimes from veteran teams and builders, such as last year's Blip
(from the creators of Tantrum), or this year's RIPperoni
, from former members of the teams behind Uppercut
, but just as often from new builders, at least new to heavyweight (almost nobody starts out with with the robots that can cost as much as a new car.)
One of these 'new-to-heavyweight' rookies last year was Riptide
, captained by Ethan Kurtz (the guy with the "you know I had to do it to em" pose.) Ethan had found a good amount of success previously with the beetleweight Rival
, and Riptide was basically Rival writ 80 times bigger. Riptide had a pretty good first season, winning 2 out of their 3 qualifying fights and making it to the quarterfinals before losing to the extremely good SawBlaze
No real controversy, aside from a false start and early hit on HUGE
in their first fight - written off as "I'm fighting a heavyweight on Battlebots for the first time" nerves, no hard feelings from anyone, not even HUGE. They also gave fan-favorite (formerly) indestructible brick Duck!
such a bad thrashing that Duck! permanently retired after that fight (Duck! was having a bad year anyway, that fight was just the icing on the cake.)
Their success led to them co-winning Rookie of the Year alongside Glitch
, who won an amazing 7 fights in a row, a feat only done before by 3-time championship winner and undisputed GOAT Bite Force
(Glitch had to bow out of the tournament because their bot had taken irreparable damage despite the victories, but it's possible they could have extended it even further.) Riptide became well known for Ethan screaming "LET'S GO!" (or sometimes, "LET'S F------ GO"!", giving the censors a bit of a workout and annoying production) after big wins.
So coming into season 8, their sophomore year, hopes are high for Riptide and people want to see this breakout star do well, right? After all, there's no big controversy in their funding or anything, is there?
Stan is the bald dude next to Ethan in the team picture. He's Ethan's dad, and also one of the main sponsors for the team through his company BeCourageous. Where did Stan Kurtz get his money to sponsor a big team? Well, he once had a company named RevitaPOP. RevitaPOP made vitamin B12 lollipops. If you know anything about 'alternative medicine,' this is where you say "oh no."
Stan Kurtz was once upon a time the president of Generation Rescue. Yes, that Generation Rescue
, the Jenny McCarthy 'vaccines-cause-autism' one. He was instrumental in getting the 'movement' off the ground in the first place - I even seem to recall seeing a link to a talk he did where he said he was backstage for McCarthy's interview with Larry King, but I'm not about to sift through hours of his horrid talks and speeches to find it.
Stan Kurtz sold lollipops that he claimed cured autism, autism that he and his organization claimed was caused by vaccines. In fact, he claimed they even cured his son Ethan's autism! Remember this when you read about Ethan's behavior - it's not an excuse, but "autistic but prevented from going to any kind of therapy or anything because it would make his dad look like a liar" is certainly an explanation.
Let me divest into opinion for a sec. Stan Kurtz is evil. There is a direct line between the actions of Stan Kurtz promoting vaccine denalism and snake oil cures, and dead children. Fuck Stan Kurtz. Every other problem with Team Riptide could be overlooked if they did not have this dude as their primary sponsor (which necessarily would require replacing Ethan as captain, because you can't separate him from his dad financially.) Okay, back to the writeup.
But put a pin in "Riptide's captain and his dad are antivaxxers" - it's a surprise tool that will help us later.
Riptide in WC7
Fight 1: Glitch
Aside from that, people didn't have that much of an opinion on Riptide going in to WC7 (and even that wasn't too widely known until partway through the season.) Generally, there was a feeling of "let's see if they can keep it up" - often a lot of very promising rookie bots have weak second seasons. They started the season fighting Glitch, to see who was truly better. One hit, weapon-on-weapon, and Glitch fucking died. Upside down, weapon not spinning, no way to self-right.
Team Glitch asked Riptide to hit them again try to flip them back over, maybe knock some life back into the bot. Not an uncommon thing, but sometimes it backfires. Riptide did, launched Glitch across the box, and now Glitch was super
-dead. Instant, extremely decisive knockout for Riptide. No drama yet.
Fight 2: MaD CatTer
Now on to the second fight. This one was against MaD CatTer
, consisting of community college professor Martin Mason (goatee in the middle) and his students. Martin Mason is known for his intentionally cheesebally and over-the-top Macho Man imitation/homage, with lots of pointing at the camera and saying "Oh yeah!" Also by all regards the nicest man on planet Earth and one of the most beloved figures in combat robotics.
Of note is MaD CatTer's driver, Calvin Iba (guy beneath Martin's pointing hand.) Calvin Iba is one of the few builders better known for his smaller robot - his robot Lynx
is the winningest beetleweight of all time, with an incredible 11
tournament wins, 8 undefeated, and an overall record of 86-11 as of December 2022 (and several events since then, but I can't find overall fight records of those events.) Now, Lynx is a very similar design to Rival (and therefore Riptide) - Lynx predates Rival by a few months, but the design is relatively generic and common at lower weight classes so it's not exactly plagarism.
This is relevant because Battlebots production tried to stir up drama, painting Calvin as angry that Ethan copied his bot and scaled it up to 250lb before Calvin could himself. For what it's worth Calvin did play into it a bit (he brought Lynx to the fight), but by all regards there aren't really any serious hard feelings about that. "Beater bars" (the weapon style of Riptide/Lynx/Rival) predate all three bots. Worth noting that Rival lost to Lynx
in a brutal slugfest in the semifinals match of NHRL a few years ago, so maybe Ethan had a bit of a revenge arc more than anything.
On to the fight. MaD CatTer is a pretty serious bot - not most people's favorite to win it all, but a 'serious contender for semifinals' kind of bot - so nobody knew how this would go. It was back and forth for... about 10 seconds, then Riptide got one good hit and did not let up. MaD CatTer got taken apart like they never had before, left a smoking mess, stuck sideways against the arena wall
, knocked out within a minute. Riptide then drove around a bit and punted pieces of MaD CatTer around the box, which got them a warning from the ref for being unsafe and for doing unnecessary damage to perfectly salvageable components of MaD CatTer. The team apologized later for that, saying they wouldn't do it again. Remember that.
Okay, two rapid knockouts against serious bots. Riptide is definitely not suffering from the sophomore curse. But in the post-fight interview, we did get a little taste of Ethan being a bit of a jerk - basically dismissed Calvin/Lynx as worse Riptide, and put his hand over Martin's mouth
(without Martin's permission) as a way of saying "shut up wrestler man!" Could have been funny, but it came across as somewhat mean-spirited and Martin clearly was not cool with it (and Martin Mason is not a sore loser - he spends almost every post-fight interview gushing about how good the other robot is, even if MaD CatTer loses.) Production asked Calvin what he thought, and he said (while holding Lynx) "well, I designed this robot to be unbeatable, it's a great robot to base it off of. Good job." Good comeback.
Fight 3: Captain Shrederator Captain Shrederator
is a longtime veteran, being one of the few robots (alongside Witch Doctor, Hypershock, and Lock-Jaw
) who has competed in all 7 seasons of the reboot. And they've competed for even longer - under various names and throughout various small tweaks, Captain Shrederator is basically the same robot as Phrizbee
, from original Battlebots Season 3.0 in 2001. They're not exactly good
by any modern standard, to be honest, but they're fun and an institution of the show. Worth noting that leading up to this fight, Nick Nave (son of Shrederator captain Brian Nave and a member of the team) had been hinting at possible controversy around this fight for a few weeks beforehand on the subreddit, so people were ready for some shit.
So going in, everyone expects Riptide to win. Here's a bot that made MaD CatTer look like a middleweight, versus a team with, at the time, a 6-18 career record. Riptide can't be complacent because even Shrederator can do some damage if you let it (by some metrics, Shrederator may have the most powerful weapon in the competition), but it's their fight to lose. Ethan Kurtz explains his strategy in an interview before the fight - get some big hits that flip Shrederator over. Once they're upside-down, they can't self-right and they'll be counted out. Makes sense, a solid, quick, safe, easy way to win. Well, watch the fight here if you can
If you can't, I will summarize: It starts off with Shrederator dodging Riptide and spinning up, until eventually Riptide gets a solid hit that breaks a piece of Shrederator's shell off and destabilizes them. One more big hit from Riptide and Shrederator lands upside-down - it's over. Well, no. Riptide then goes in and hits them again before they can be counted out. And again. And again. And again. At this point Shrederator is basically completely dead, but it's still able to spin. Shrederator's team calls over to Riptide "yo, stop it we're dead already." Riptide hits Shrederator again. Riptide's weapon operator tells Ethan to hit him again. And so he does. And one more time, as sparks fly out of Shrederator's pulverized electronics. Riptide leaves Shrederator dead on the floor, as they go and, you guessed it, punt shrapnel around the box. At this point the referee has to physically take the controller from Ethan (while the rest of team Riptide tries to stop the ref.)
Of course this is a KO for Riptide, but in doing so they did around $10,000 worth of extra, unnecessary damage to Shrederator, and almost the entire bot had to be thrown out and rebuilt from spares. Riptide was not apologetic (and in fact later Ethan would gloat to the camera over how Team Shrederator hadn't even tried to rebuild their bot.) No members of Team Riptide helped Shrederator rebuild either, though one did offer. (It wasn't Ethan, Stan, or the weapon operator Sid.)
To say this was controversial to the community would be lying. Controversy requires some argument or debate. There was none - everyone
thought Riptide went way too far. Riptide later tried to say "we interpreted their spinning as intent to keep fighting, and we couldn't hear them asking us to stop." Which was seen by most of the community as a load of crap, since Ethan had said to the camera that he didn't need to do those late hits just before the fight, and teams are bantering with each other in fights all the time. Riptide was formally warned by the ref again for this fight.
At this point, the editors I guess realized that controversy sells. In almost every remaining episode of the season, even ones where Riptide didn't fight, they had some clip of Riptide, or Ethan, or something else to rub in "these guys are really mean and have a good bot, wHaT iF tHeY wIn???" Very much a 'whenver Riptide's not on screen, all the other robots should be asking "Where's Riptide?"
' situation. It got old very fast (read: instantly.)
Fight 4: Black Dragon
You want to talk about beloved teams, you have to mention Black Dragon
. This Brazilian team is known for two things - their plush duck, which they won in a claw machine the first time they came to the US for a competition and have kept as a good luck charm ever since, and their durability - they had gone a near-record 24 matches without ever getting knocked out, winning all of those fights or losing by judge's decision. Leading up to this fight, Battlebots kept having segments showing how Black Dragon had almost surpassed Bite Force for the "most fights without a KO" streak (Bite Force was never KO'd in its entire 4-season career, going 26-1 with 1 lost JD.) Of course, then they had to fight Riptide.
This fight was probably the least controversial Riptide fight of the season - you can watch it here
. Riptide went in and did not let up, unrelenting, leading to the Brazilian bot suffering their first ever KO in under a minute. Riptide was actually pretty chill in the post-fight interview, very respectful towards Black Dragon - I guess that ref warning stuck. For now. With that, Riptide advanced to 4-0 in the qualifiers, and ended up securing themselves the #2 overall seed (behind the undefeated Brazilian monster Minotaur
, a favorite to win it all every season and the season 3 runner-up.)
Round of 32: Shatter
For those who don't know, Battlebots has a series of qualifying fights (this year, 4 fights per bot) to determine, out of the contenders (50 this year), which 32 get to compete in the tournament for the Giant Nut, and where they will be seeded. As the #2 seed, Riptide got to fight the #31 seed - hammer-bot Shatter, who you saw earlier helping Witch Doctor. Now, let me not mince words - Shatter was fucked. To paraphrase a comment I saw, "If Shatter drives like a god, gets the most perfect hammer shots ever, and in general is the best a hammer has ever looked in the history of hammers... they will still lose." There was no way Shatter could ever, ever
win, barring some kind of catastrophic self-induced failure from Riptide. But damn it, Shatter captain Adam Wrigley was sure as hell going to try.
Now, for more info, the bots have rules that govern what you can do. There's a lot, but 2 are relevant - strict 250 lb weight limit, and the tip speed of a spinning weapon cannot exceed 250 mph. Bots are weighed before each fight to confirm the weight limit, and all bots with spinners have to do tip speed tests in the test box. After the weigh-in, you cannot modify or work on your bot in any way without the approval of production and safety. Not for anything. Maybe a sticker if you want.
So when a Shatter team member found Riptide working on their bot
in the tunnel leading from the pits just before the fight, questions were had, and team Shatter demanded Riptide be reweighed and tip speed retested (there were rumors in the pits that they were spinning faster than 250mph.) The team later explained they were attaching a plastic hammer to the robot to mimic Shatter (teams doing funny decorative mods to their bot to mimic the other bot is a longstanding tradition.) All evidence seemed to point to that being the case, so nobody thinks they were lying about it, but it still warranted a reweigh. My opinion - that's fine, but tell production. If people think you're going to do something illegal, and you do something legal but in a way that looks illegal, don't be surprised when people think you're doing something illegal.
I will note that the show made a big deal out of how when Riptide was weighed before they were 'caught,' they weighed in at 250 lb, and the re-weighing said they were 248. There was some concern from Shatter about that, not helped by Stan Kurtz being kind of smug back to them. In response to one Shatter member asking "Why is it 248 now and 250 before?", Stan responded "You're right, there's something wrong. We made it lighter." Now, the thing with this is that there are multiple scales, they're not extremely precise, and if anyone has ever worked with industrial scales before you know how easily they come out of calibration. Some builders have said that whether or not the AC was on could add a pound of weight from the airflow. The "250lb" scale was not the same as the "248lb" scale as well. Generally, nobody really
thinks there is something up with the weight, but working on the bot post-weigh-in absolutely warrants a reweigh, no matter who it is.
Riptide complained a lot about it, to the point where the word "whiney" comes to mind. You messed up, teams are meant to tell production before they add decorative stuff and you didn't, so you need to be reweighed. You've already pissed people off in the past so don't be surprised when they give you a bit more scrutiny. Take your lumps, apologize, act like adults, and maybe people will give you the benefit of the doubt next time. Instead, there was a lot of "oh boo is me, we're being discriminated against" - a direct quote from Ethan is "their paranoia is affecting our performance, I think it's really uncool that they did this." Granted, if the scale drifted the other way and they had to lose 2lb of armor to satisfy the arbitrary scale drift, I would get it more, but as it is they just look, well, whiney.
At this time, unbeknownst to anyone until they revealed it on a livestream, Team Whyachi (the team behind the powerful flipper Hydra
, engine of (self-)destruction Fusion
, and Comedy Central-era legend Son of Whyachi
, who had the pit next to Riptide, was asked by production to put a spy camera up to make sure everything was above board. Allegedly they also began doing analysis of the audio and video of the actual fights, to make sure teams (read: one team) weren't cheating and spinning faster than the "maximum speed" they did in the test box.
However, aside from the (explainable, acceptable) scale drift, Riptide was not found to be cheating with tip speed or anything else. Shatter accepted this without complaint - they just wanted to be sure. So, that's out of the way. Ethan basically said "they are paranoid and are trying to ruin us so we will crush them" - fair enough, I suppose. Here's the fight
(note: this video includes the entire 'weigh-in' drama before the fight if you want to watch it instead of just reading about it.) For what it's worth, Shatter lasted longer than anyone yet against Riptide - almost 2 minutes - but it went the way everyone expected. The most unexpected thing was in the post-fight, where Ethan basically said "Adam is a paranoid loser" (alongside, allegedly, some more personal insults that got cut), then went in for a "sporting" handshake. Unsurprisingly, Adam refused it.
Now, Adam is basically the "union rep" for the builders - he's the guy chosen (by the builders) to represent them when Battlebots is thinking about changing the rules. He is a very widely respected guy and is by all accounts very sporting and nice. So when you've pissed him off enough that he refuses the handshake (only the second refused handshake in modern Battlebots history, as far as I am aware), you know you fucked up. But either way, Riptide is on to the round of 16.
Round of 16: Hypershock
You saw Hypershock earlier. They're quite good - definitely a contender, though generally not going to be anyone's main pick to win it all. This year, they were the #18 seed after a rough set of qualifiers, fighting 2021 champs End Game
, 2021 runner-up Whiplash
, perennial contender SawBlaze, and the confusingly fast Claw Viper
(seriously watch this
, look how fast that boy is.) But after a solid win over #15 seed Lucky
, they were on to the round of 16.
When I say Hypershock is a fan favorite, I mean they are the
fan favorite - between their iconic style, aggressive driving, and captain Will Bales's humor and charisma, it's probably not wrong to say Hypershock is the most popular bot and team around. People love Hypershock, and people don't love Riptide, so this fight had a lot of "save us, O-Will Bales Kenobi, you're our only hope" energy with the community. Leading up to this, Will said in an interview that Riptide was good, but every team can't be good forever, and that someday Ethan will experience, in Will's words, a "humbling event."
But Hypershock wasn't the odds-on favorite here - Will Bales's flashy driving tends to lead to errors, and against something as nasty as Riptide, any error is death. The full fight isn't uploaded, but here's a clip
of the post-fight highlight reel. Will started out doing a 'box rush' (charging straight at the other bot as soon as the fight starts), only to attempt to dodge to the side. Unfortunately, this led to him powersliding directly into Riptide's weapon, losing a wheel, and getting flipped over.
Now, the thing with vertical spinners in Battlebots is they spin 'up' - this means that the outer side goes up and the inner side goes down, so you can brace your own bot against the floor and send the other one flying. Now Hypershock is upside down, effectively spinning 'down,' so the energy from hits pushes the other bot down and themselves up. Riptide is spinning 'up' as normal. Both of these are extremely powerful weapons. Both want to send Hypershock into the air. So what happens when they collide? The energy of both weapons goes into sending Hypershock flying
up over 25 feet and slamming into the ceiling of the Battlebox. Remember that that thing weighs 250 pounds. To quote Will in the post-fight interview, "nobody has ever been hit like that before." Much to the chagrin of Hydra captain Jake Ewert, who had the goal of being the first-ever bot to send another bot into the ceiling (and came within inches in their fight against Deathroll
), Riptide made Battlebots history here.
The rest of the fight goes as expected at this point and Hypershock is KO'd, with Riptide moving into the quarterfinals. Sorry Will, you aren't the humbling event this time.
It's the final episode of the season - the quarterfinals, semifinals, and finals are all in one episode. People are spooked because Riptide is a incredible, powerful bot built and driven by shitty people, and nobody wants them to win but they might. But to go any further, they have to beat Copperhead.
. This snake-themed bot is probably best known for getting a new captain almost every year, and this year it's Luke Quintal in charge for his first time. They just came off of an insanely dominant upset
over 2021 champs End Game.
Luke has said that he was too focused on Copperhead to pay attention to the controversy, so he became aware of it when, leading up to this fight, builders kept coming up to him and whispering in his hear "dude, you have to beat Riptide. You have
to beat them. You might be our last hope." He's just a first-year captain/driver, with the oldest bot in the competition (Copperhead has had the same two frames for its entire 4-year career - this is the longest any frame has competed in the history of modern Battlebots without replacement), who's had to have back-to-back fights against rookie of the year Ripperoni, 2018 Most Destructive winner ROTATOЯ
, and End Game. No pressure.
Now, people have tried ways to beat Riptide. You can't just tank their hits with a durable bot (Black Dragon.) You can't outdrive them with fancy footwork (Hypershock.) But something nobody has been
insane enough to try is to go weapon-to-weapon on purpose
to break Riptide's weapon. Copperhead just went weapon-to-weapon with End Game and broke theirs. Copperhead is durable enough to take those huge hits Riptide deals out. So their strategy is to just go berserk until something breaks. But there's one major plot twist left.
Remember how I said the Kurtzes are anti-vaxxers? Well, the pandemic is still going on. In order to get into the pits, you either had to be double-vaxxed or
test negative every day. Well, there's no confirmation that Ethan was or was not vaxxed (but let's be real), but guess what? In the greatest Chekhov's gun in Battlebots history, he tested positive for COVID the day of the Copperhead fight. Riptide is out their driver for their biggest fight ever.
Other builders have confirmed that this was not the first or only time that team members had to miss days due to testing positive, but previous times either 1) did not involve the drivers, or 2) were in the qualifying rounds where fights could be postponed to following days. But neither was the case this time. Now, this is really a shitty situation for Riptide, and I do feel some degree of pity for them - what a thing to happen. But at the same time, lmao.
Riptide has to spend most of the day deciding who would drive the robot in the fight. The first person they ask? Jack Barker, driver of End Game and 2021 world champion. Jack agreed - can you blame him? Riptide is a hell of a bot, probably super fun to drive, and who knows, maybe he could win another Giant Nut. This got as far as Jack driving Riptide around the test box, before Luke found out and was like "hang on, no. He's not on your team. It's not fair that you can just go to the best driver in the pits and ask them to drive for you." Production agreed and hastily made a new rule where the driver has to be a member of the team. This all was not in the episode, and was only revealed by Luke Quintal after the season aired.
Team Riptide then deliberated between the several members of the team who might stand a chance. They eventually decide on team member Felix Jing, who's an award-winning Vex Robotics driver but has never driven a heavyweight before. Felix seemed to be a nice enough guy, and pretty humble. However, in the deliberations over who would drive, they lose time and are unable to replace their damaged weapon from the Hypershock fight.
So the fight. Riptide box rushes Copperhead, and the first weapon-to-weapon sends Copperhead flying. Luke's bot is still going, though, and goes in for another clash. This goes on for a few hits, until a massive hit sends Copperhead flying up and Riptide flying back - but when they come to, Copperhead's weapon is spinning... and Riptide's weapon is cracked down the middle
, exactly what Copperhead was aiming for.
Copperhead does not let up and keeps hitting, eventually ripping about a quarter of Riptide's weapon off completely
. However, the damage from the last 4 years of fighting added up. Those big hits from Riptide were the final straw - one of Copperhead's two wheels just falls off
. Copperhead can still move, just about, on just one wheel, but suddenly this fight got a lot closer. They keep hitting Riptide, but it goes to the judges after the full 3 minutes.
It's a split decision. Battlebots is scored on an 11-point system - 5 points for damage, and 3 each for aggression and control.
All three judges gave Copperhead three damage points to Riptide's two and Riptide two control points to Copperhead's one.
The first judge scored aggression 2-1 for Copperhead. 6-5 Copperhead.
The second judge scored aggression 2-1 for Riptide. 6-5 Riptide.
The third judge scored aggression 2-1 for the winner... Copperhead!
They did it, they saved the goddamn universe. We will not have to live in a world where the ur-anti-vaxxer and his dickhead kid win Battlebots. Everyone is fucking ecstatic. I cheered. The audience cheered. God probably cheered. And boy, did the pits cheer
- some builders have said this was the biggest celebration in the pits they had ever seen. Tim Rackley of Monsoon
(big lad with the flag) apparently was picking Luke up and carrying him around the pits cheering. Riptide is out
It's a pity Ethan wasn't there to experience his 'humbling event' in person, but it happened. He was there on a video call on a tablet - apparently, production did ask him how he felt and he went on a 5-minute rant about how the team was being forced to face jealousy and adversity because they had to get reweighed. The entire rant was cut from the episode that aired. I've seen conflicting reports if he said "if I was there we would have won," but it would be in character if he did.
Team Riptide used their appeal (each team gets one) to ask the judges to re-review the fight - they did (absolutely fair - you have nothing to lose, anyone should appeal in this situation), and as though to rub it in even more, the sole judge who ruled for Riptide changed his mind
about Riptide's aggression, giving Copperhead a unanimous JD. The saga of Riptide in WC7 ends here.
There was zero drama of any kind for the rest of the season (all 3 fights of it.) All the fights were great, clean fights between respected and respectful teams and robots. Copperhead ended up losing to HUGE
in the semi-finals - no surprise or shame there, HUGE
is designed to be invincible to bots like Copperhead. HUGE
ended up facing the mighty SawBlaze
in the finals, and in probably the best finals match in combat robotics history, SawBlaze
managed to win a unanimous JD, giving SawBlaze captain Jamison Go
the Giant Nut.
Literally zero people were unhappy with this - both Jamison
and HUGE captain Jonathan Schultz
are some of the nicest, most genuine, humble builders in the sport, and going into the finals it was very much a "no matter who wins we all win" kind of thing. Both bots are also "non-meta" - "meta" being the general form of bot that Hypershock, Riptide, Witch Doctor, Copperhead, etc. are, a compact vertical spinner - seasons 3-6 saw meta bots win both first place and runner-up, so people were excited to see a finals match with something new on both sides.
This was very recent, so no news if Riptide will be invited back next year. I would be shocked if they weren't, though - controversy sells, and regardless of how bad the team is, the robot is a killing machine that makes for incredible spectacles. There is allegedly a "sportsmanship rule" being added next year - it's a pity that something that has gone unspoken for decades has to codified in rules because of the actions of one team, but hopefully it will help. Between unethical sponsors, destroying fan favorite bots, being rude both inside and outside the box, cheating allegations, and a stunning lack of humility, Riptide really checked all the boxes in the 'bad guys' field this year.
I could say "the viewing community is willing to give Riptide one more chance to apologize and redeem themselves" but that would be a lie. For the most part, the subreddit, main Discord, etc. are all sick and tired of ever seeing the team again, and would love nothing more than for some cool, nice builder to hijack the bot so we can have cool robots and
cool people. I don't know how the builders feel - I imagine that they're probably not quite as vehemently opposed to the team on average, but there's probably no love lost.
I enjoyed writing this up quite a lot, because it really was a classic "villain defeats the main good guys, but then the underdog comes out of nowhere and saves the day" story. Also Battlebots rules. Feel free to ask me anything about the show, or any bots, or if you want to see some cool bots that I didn't include. And seriously, watch Battlebots, it's so good. Check out /battlebots
- it's the off-season, so the shitposts are about to get real good. I'm running out of characters so the collection of miscellaneous facts I originally had stuck on the end of this writeup is going to be in the comments.
submitted by beenoc
to HobbyDrama [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 00:16 tsvangison My (M38) wife (F34) had an emotional affair.
I just recently found out that my wife (F34) had an emotional affair for 4 months with her ex. Its a weird story for me. They 'dated' when she was 14 and never had sex then. However, they are in a fairly close knit community so they have mutual friends. Wife added him to facebook last year and conversations started. From what she has said, they started talking on Facebook around December last year and it was mainly my wife giving him advice about his marriage and him talking about his marriage. A few sexual jokes were shared and then it began. Every now and again they would continue to talk about marital issues with my wife providing him with advice etc and every once in a while the conversation would turn to "Have you ever imagined what it would be like if we hadn't broken up". It eventually led to them saying they wanted to have sex together, him sending nudes and her sending hers at well. After this it would go back to marital advice etc. She would even all him her friend in the chats....like "How are you today my friend" and there would be pretty harmless conversations. I saw parts of these conversations (some had been deleted) and I believe her. She told me all of this becasue she believed I had a copy of all the messages and wanted to tell me herself as opposed to me reading them. I did not have these messages. She still believes I have copies of them.
I saw a chat of her complimenting his body in a conversation and the next time i looked that chat had been deleted. This is when I confronted her and everything else came out. She says she always considered her a friend despite the inappropriate chat and it only dawned on her how much she had fucked up when i confronted her and told her she was cheating. But up until this point, she says she just saw him as a friend. She also says she was really not into him sexually but went along with the conversations to keep his attention. She says when she sent her nude, it was because he had been pestering her for a few weeks after he had sent his and eventually said he wasn't going to speak to her until she sent hers. Now i will not lie to say i understand this....but I do know my wife is easily gullible. I have witnessed many people take advantage of her and she barely realises it. So perhaps this is true, but it doesn't absolve her of fault. Anyway, she went NC when I found out 2 months ago and has been very remorseful. We have agreed to work on our marriage and this is primarily because for me:
- There was very little prospect of it going past these chats because AP is in a different continent. While this in itself is bad, i think i would not even consider this if it had turned physical.
- She has shown great remorse despite missteps the few days after DDay which I think are understandable especially when one has been caught out. She initially blamed the issues in the relationship etc but has since realised that this wasn't right.
- She went NC immediately and there has been no evidence of her reaching out or being in contact with AP.
- I called AP and he apologised for what he did etc. I expected a fight but he accepted and apologised for his participation in all this. A part of this is because his wife had an very complicated pregnancy and he asked me not to share the chats with her. I did speak to her to tell her what was happening between her husband and my wife, but she chose not to believe me i guess.
- I have cheated in the past and I feel that because she gave me a second chance, I owe it to her to give her time to prove herself. I have learnt an immeasurable amount about myself since my own DDay and I believe i have grown a great deal from it. I think she needs to go through the same.
- We have a beautiful family that we both do not want to split up. Our kids deserve better from both of us.
- We both have family of origin issues and I honestly think he infidelity is caused by this. Mine - not so much - or at lease the relationship is weak.
- We have both agreed to commit to do the work needed to fix our relationship.
We are both in IC and MC (just started) so we will see how that goes.
As mentioned, I want to fix what we have both broken. What things can we do to further improve our chances of building a better relationship after this? We have committed to 100% transparency and honesty and this commitment resulted in me disclosing something from a few years ago that I had kept from her. She has indicated that she has nothing else to disclose and at this point, I have to take her word for it. Any advice from those that have gone through similar experiences would be most welcome.
submitted by tsvangison
to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 00:11 autotldr EU agrees radical reforms on migration and asylum laws European Union
This is the best tl;dr I could make, original
reduced by 68%. (I'm a bot)
The EU has agreed radical reforms of its migration and asylum laws including charges of €20,000 per head for countries that refuse to host refugees. Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: country#1 migrant#2 state#3 deal#4 minister#5
Under a last-minute compromise, it was agreed that member states, rather than the EU as a whole, would determine what country is "Safe" for migrants turned away on the grounds that they are not eligible for asylum.
Countries will be obliged to show a "Connection" with the country that any migrant is transferred to, but this link can be defined by the member state, diplomats said.
This appears to give each country flexibility on whether they can return migrants to third countries that not every EU nation might agree is a safe haven.
At the weakest interpretation of the "Connection" rule, a member state that wants to return a migrant to a third country may need only to demonstrate that an applicant has stayed in the country, which would enable Italy, for example, to transfer migrants to "a transition country" such as Tunisia.
Georgia Meloni, who was swept to power last year on tough rhetoric on migrants, was in the north African country on Tuesday and hopes to strike a partnership deal with the government to take migrants.
Post found in /worldnews, /EUnews, /AutoNewspaper, /TheColorIsBlue and /GUARDIANauto.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
submitted by autotldr
to autotldr [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 00:10 penguin_acrobat I [M/30] feel like my LDR gf [F/29] is not putting enough effort into the relationship
Background: my girlfriend and I met while she was studying in my country 6 years ago. We dated while she was here for one year, and we both felt there was a strong connection, but we decided not to continue the relationship while apart due to the difficulties with extreme distance (separate continents, and I was still studying so we couldn't afford to travel to meet each other often). We stayed close friends however, and always intended to meet again in the future.
Around 8 months ago I was settled into my new job and she had an extended break from work, so it seemed like the perfect time to meet again. I told her I'd always felt that she was "the one" for me, and invited her to stay with me to see if we could have a relationship together. The idea was to live together for a while to see if we'd both be comfortable with her moving here and living together.
She stayed with me for 3 months and everything was perfect, I've never been happier. Eventually her break came to an end and she had to return to her country for work. When leaving we discussed how to make things work while we're apart, and began planning for her to move here within the next 18 months. She told me that she feels it's important to still message each other throughout the day (despite a 6 hour time difference meaning we can't talk directly most days), share our thoughts and feelings, as it's the only form of intimacy we can have while apart.
At first this was fine, but after a few weeks once she became busy with work, she stopped messaging so often. She would send a few messages per day, often not sending anything until mid-late afternoon. Often on weekends she would be too busy with friends to make time to call, and would get home so late that she just wanted to go straight to bed. Sometimes we didn't call for weeks. Sometimes she told me she would be able to call, and I rearranged my plans to accommodate, only for her to cancel at the last minute.
I tried talking to her about this and telling her how I feel. She told me that she doesn't really want to put time into the relationship while we're apart, she doesn't want to tell me her plans, and she doesn't want to tell me what she's doing. She says it annoys her when she feels she has an obligation to do those things. She would get annoyed at me for asking "how was your day", or "how was work", or "are you doing anything this weekend?". In the end I felt like I couldn't ask her anything at all. If I told her about my day or my plans, she'd make a brief comment on them but never offer any information of her own.
We have met several times since, and things are always perfect while we're together. Last time I told her (while she was still here) that I NEED more effort from her while we're apart. She listened, and promised to try harder. When she returned home, she tried harder for 2-3 days, but then went back to how it was before.
When we're together she's open to talk about anything. While we're apart if I send her any messages about how I feel or things that need to change, she often does not respond (despite repeated reminders), and eventually just tells me it's too tiring to read and I'm annoying her. If I say I want to talk about these things on a call, she says she doesn't want to spend the time on call doing that.
How can I approach this with her (for what will be the 4th or 5th time int total) without her just getting annoyed, and instead listening and being open to reach a compromise?
I feel I do a lot of work for the relationship (buying her gifts, showing her what I'm doing, making sure she feels cared for and missed, rearranging my plans (and even working hours) around her so we can spend time together), so I don't think my request is unreasonable, but she definitely makes me doubt this. Whenever I bring up this point she simply responds that relationships aren't about "fairness" and if we are comparing sacrifices/compromises she is not interested. I end up feeling like I am too needy, or a burden. I'm not asking for 100s of messages per day, but things like "good morning", "I finished work, it was a hard day", "good night", or "I'm a bit busy today so can't talk" would go a long way.
In all honesty, things are so bad while we're apart that I would just end the relationship if things were not so good while we're together - I never met anyone that I can talk to like her, that I can feel comfortable around and with whom I can really be my true self. That was the case in our first year together, and also in the recent months. I had several years after she first left to find someone else I can feel this way, and nothing compares. I don't want to throw away something so special for problems caused by a temporary situation, and in the worst case I'd rather just deal with another year of feeling unloved than to end things. Therefore I'm not interested in any replies suggesting to end the relationship, or take a break, or anything to that effect, no matter how well-intentioned they are.
TL;DR: How to approach my girlfriend with a request for her to put more effort into our LDR (specifically with regards to messaging more often, telling me about her day, or at least just saying good morning/goodnight), considering she's promised this in the past but not followed through, and tells me the requests are annoying while we're apart?
submitted by penguin_acrobat
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 00:03 Ok_Mine_6325 BU 8, NC 6 months
Coming onto eight months post BU, I could never have imagined before not seeing him for a week. Now, we have not seen each other for eight months and not spoken for six. Life still goes on. I can't say I am doing particularly well but I am also not doing bad. My progress of healing had many ups and downs.
Month 1 of NC- Basically a walking zombie. I have never experienced such an pain before. It was literally like someone ripped my heart apart. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and was very depressed. I lost 5 kg this month. It was also my birthday accompanied with xmas and new year, making me feel extremely lonely. I also quit my job this month. Being jobless, having a lot of time and being dumped is a bad combination. So much time to think about the why's.
Month 2 of NC- Starting to go out more and try to get back my life on track. I met with a lot of friends and really saw that I have a group of very good friends. They were so supportive. I started a new job, which was a good distraction. Also went on a date with a nice guy, but I was really not ready.
Month 3 of NC- Just as I was slowly getting back on my feet, all came crashing down because of his bday. I didn't send him anything which hurt me a lot because I really would've liked to spend it with him. I struggled so much to not send him anything. I bought a lot of things this month just to deal with the sadness and watched a lot of things related to breakup and nc.
Month 4 of NC- This month was better. I started to think less about him, although he will still cross my mind daily. I went on a vacation with a good friend who is going through a divorce. She gave me some other insight on a BU. I admire her since she was so strong to move on and not look back. I also slept with a woman on this trip. It was not bad but I realize that I am really not into women. But yeah, you have to try to know.
Month 5 of NC- This was the best month of all. He still crosses my mind at least once a day, but I don't feel so much sadness and regrets anymore. I started to focus more on my carreer. I also hooked up with someone. Weirdly after the hookup, I felt a sense of relief because I started to accept that it is over. The hookup was really nice and the aftercare he gave was divine. It made me compare him to my ex who did not do anything for me. Unfortunately, he was just on vacation in my country. So, we probably will never see each other again. I started to accept that I will never see my ex again. I have also realized that I was waiting for something from him. A text, a phone call any sign. After I killed that hope, I started to see how he really does not care or have never cared since he didn't even keep his last words to me. This was what pushed me to move on.
Months 6 of NC- Just as I was moving on greatly, I came into a down month. I don't know why, but I have been thinking a lot about him lately.
I don't know how I will be in a few months, but I do see some progress after six month. The hurt is not as painful anymore and most importantly I learned a lot about myself. It is like being reborn. I'm not unhappy with how things are going right now. It is just that sometimes, I feel restless and lonely. The most difficult part was to see that he didn't care. I couldn't lie to myself anymore when the truth was put in front of me. He may have his reasons for not keeping his last promise, but my reality is that he didn't keep it. So, I can't waste any more tears on someone who does not deem me important. I have been dating here and there, but I guess I am not ready yet and dating apps sucks. I realized that I was his rebound and don't want to inflict this pain on someone else. Hence, I am going to take a break from dating and start again when I am truly ready.
To conclude, there is no miracle cure. I went through all the stages of BU and sometimes went back and forth. Time is the best healer. I am sure he came into my life for a reason. I have grew mentally and learned a lot about myself. However, I am not going to thank him and I am petty, so I am not wishing him a great life either. I am not at the point yet to wish him well after everything that happened AFTER the breakup. You really see a person's true nature when you are no longer useful to them. But to end this on a positive note, don't give up hope of getting over them. That day will come.
submitted by Ok_Mine_6325
to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 23:52 Starrchick101 Hope for humanity for the person who swapped seats with me
I know there are so many stories lately about swapping seats so I just wanted to share my story.
Last year, I had just moved several states away and started a new job. I had none of my belongings and just getting settled.
I then got the call. My father was in the final stages of dying.
He had been on hospice for less than a month and while I had seen him before I left, I now had limited time. Things were hysterical and frantic for my partner and I. Getting and arranging last minute flights. Explaining to my boss why I needed to leave after less than a week at my new job. Since we had just moved to this area, no dog boarding would take our dog so we had to take him on the plane with us. There was so much stress as we raced to the airport. Desperate to see him for the final time before it was too late.
We ended up getting a flight but we were not seated together. We figured we would ask if any of our seat mates wanted to switch and if they didn't it would not be a big deal. Apparently my partner told a lady next to him the situation and she switched with me. This lady sacrificed her aisle seat in the 12th row for a middle seat near the far back of the plane. It allowed me to sit next to my partner and discuss the upcoming steps and plans and to get ready to say goodbye to my father. This kind and wonderful lady did so much for me in my time of need, and she doesn't even know it. She allowed me to have my partners support and kind words during an emotional time. I think about her from time to time and wish her the very best in life.
And in case you were wondering, I made it in time to see my father once last time.
Please share your airport or travel acts of kindness and try to pass it along when you get the chance.
submitted by Starrchick101
to delta [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 23:52 Far-Philosopher-3768 I'm so over her!
Not actually sure she was a MIL as her son and I were dating for maybe 6 months, however she's the paternal grandmother of my child, so I usually just refer to her as an ex-mil... Also I'm not in the US so if words are spelt differently that's why.
Main characters: Yzma - ex-MIL. Me - mother of child. SMIL - Son of MIL
I (F28 now) had a child coming up 5 years ago, and I've been NC for at least the last 4 with her despite messages from her all the time. Lets go back 5 years and get up to speed. SMIL and I were dating for maybe 6 months. I later found out that he was taking my BC in order to get me pregnant so that he would avoid incarceration and that backfired very quickly.
Moving on to Yzma. She's very much a yes lady. Everyone in her life says yes to her! Our first interaction, she asked SMIL in front of me if he's sure that it's mine. I'd never met this lady before and I had a feeling from that moment I was doomed. She then forced a relationship, and I did my best to accommodate that because I'm very much a people pleaser, and wanted to get along. There were many times throughout my pregnancy that she breached court orders and would be in contact with him while she was with me, and was passing on messages to me. She wanted a say in child's name, she demanded to be in the room and told all of her side of the family who could and couldn't message me to meet my son when he was born. I was in the hospital a week before I was due as I had a crazy pain at the top of my belly (later found out was my gallbladder and later needed to be removed), now I'm *just* about to have bloods drawn, and Yzma chose THAT moment to ask the Dr if he knew what he was doing, and then mentioned that she has some (in NZ) Class A prescription medication that will help, so just send her home and I'll give her pain relief.
From that moment, I knew she wasn't going to be in the room when I gave birth. For context - I was contracting regularly for 5 days prior to birth and it was hella traumatic for me so I had 11 people (4 of which were family, the rest were medical professionals) Scarily, the moment that my son was born I got a text from her asking if everything's okay because she hasn't heard from me for a couple days. To me, she may not have been physically there, however somehow the Spidey senses were tingling. My mum took my phone home with her that night, so I could just have a day with my brand new kiddo and I... Mum and my Aunty called Yzma, let her know how it all went and Yzma kicked off. How could I not invite her, I took that moment away from her and how could I not let her be there for the birth of HER grandson and my mum was there. My mum explained how traumatic, the amount of people who were there and why and she didn't care. It was all about me taking that away from her. As a compromise, as much as I didn't want too, I agreed to let her take us home from the hospital.
The day of going home: I had announced on good ol'Facebook that my son was here. He's good, I'm struggling with recovery so please respect space etc. Little did I know, this was going to BACKFIRE when Yzma turned up. My best friend, lets call her Tina, was visiting her godson when Yzma arrived and the first thing she said was "How dare you announce the birth of my grandson on Facebook, I haven't had a chance to tell my family or SMIL and I've been getting congratulations all morning". I mentioned "that as we're having this conversation SMIL was in court for a relationship domestic issue, and I mentioned that she knew yesterday, so had time to tell her family". Tina could see that I was getting quite upset so suggested that we go for a walk and check on discharge papers to give Yzma time to meet my son. Came back, and she had undressed him and changed his outfit to something I didn't pack, as well as adding booties, beanie and mittens. Now in New Zealand, July is winter, however in the 20 minutes ride back from the hospital, we went down the motorway (100kms in NZ) with a 3 day old as well as me who's recovering from 5 day labour. We get back to my house and my child is BRIGHT RED because he's a hot baby and was overheating. Mum ripped everything off him and his temperature came down quickly.
First 6 months of my sons life: Yzma came over once or twice a week to see him or "was in the neighbourhood so stopped in", and when I mentioned that I wanna pause her visiting for a bit because my family want to meet him she wasn't happy, posted on Facebook that "her visits have been paused until (my name) has decided otherwise so her family can meet child. Also don't message her trying to meet my grandson because that's not okay without my say so". When they were reinstated (idk if that's the right word), I set some boundaries due to court orders around the safety of my child and asked she respect them. When she didn't and I mentioned it 10+ times, I ended those visits. She later had her lawyer email me about getting visitation, and threatened government departments involvement should I not let her have my son overnight one day a weekend as well as one day through the week. I got a lawyer, and she said to send through their parenting order as we would happily go to court for this. Motion was removed and not followed through.
Now: Yzma has been messaging me about how it's been almost 5 years, and my son deserves to know her and her family (and don't get me wrong, I also agree to a point), however there's been so many boundaries broken, gaslighting, emotional manipulation for her and at the sake of my mental health. I'm taking my son on holiday for his birthday and we're visiting friends/family and we're going to be 20/30 minutes away and she's guilt tripping me into visiting her. Yes my son is at an age where he can tell me if he's uncomfortable, however she's also an extremely materialistic person and I know that she will just buy my son stuff to keep him there for her benefit and I don't know if I have the mental or emotional capacity to deal with her.
submitted by Far-Philosopher-3768
to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 23:49 Ok_Sympathy_1302 Burned Out by Micromanaging Colleague
Posting here because I feel like I'm being over-sensitive and I think you guys might understand how I'm feeling.
I am a mid-level employee at a mid-size company. When I joined the company last September, I took over a project from a senior colleague.
Immediately I felt overwhelmed by her. She's not a manager but she acts like one. She gets involved in everyone's business, but particularly my business because we keep being paired up on projects—to my chagrin!
I actually think she displays some autistic traits, like matter-of-fact feedback and high attention to detail. I also have these traits. The thing is, I don't give people unrequested feedback unless I think it's important. With her, it's feedback feedback feedback. Although the department head is very happy with my work and praises me a lot, I feel extremely micromanaged and smothered by my colleague and it's starting to cause severe burnout.
It feels like I do nothing right in her eyes and she's constantly pinging me. I dread her meetings because she infodumps on me for up to two hours without writing any minutes and completely ignores the time allotted for the meeting slot, which overstimulates me for the rest of the day.
Here are some highlights from today that have left me crumpled in a ball on the sofa:
-She criticised the way I showed that a ticket was approved by a project manager who refuses to follow the proper ticket workflow. The manager conveyed that a task was approved over IM so I put a screenshot of the IM in the ticket comments. She said this wasn't good enough because the manager didn't directly reference the name of the task he was approving in the IM and this wouldn't satisfy imaginary auditors looking at our tickets. She insisted I tag the PM and delete the screenshot, which doesn't seem much better to me?
-I added a comment on one of my closed tickets because I changed one word in a document. I left the comment to ask my higher-ups if the change was ok to publish. I didn't realise she was a watcher on the ticket and she pinged me to complain that I should create a new ticket. Reminder: I changed ONE WORD.
-I worked with a QA to publish some tutorials to our site. I was on a video call with him and saw that he published to both the demo and prod site. She was also a hidden watcher on these tickets because she reviewed them, so she pinged me again because the QA only mentioned publishing to prod and not demo in the submission comments, and she wanted to know if he had also published to demo.
Just want to make something clear: she has no responsibility over any of these tasks. She is not my manager. If I perform these tasks wrong, the blame is on me, and I am happy to take the blame. Yet it feels like she's always watching anything I do like a hawk. I couldn't perform the rest of my tasks today because I was so upset by all this badgering.
I'm not used to this style of feedback because in my last company, the seniors were very good at conveying constructive feedback and trusting me to do a good job. They would tell me if I did something inorrectly, but they treated me like an adult and not an unruly student. They were also happy to have chats that were not related to work, whereas all this new colleague talks about is work and there's no levity. My colleagues at my last job understood that sometimes people have different approaches to a task, and you don't need to be pulled up on every difference. With my new colleague, I literally try to hide tasks that I'm working on from her so I don't have to listen to her nitpick it.
It's a small team, so I can't really transfer projects. We have some new hires coming in, but I don't want to swap with them on my current project with her because it has some quirks that would be difficult for a newcomer to deal with. I also don't have a direct manager who I could mention these issues to, just the head of the department, and I don't want to cause any hassle because someone who joined at the same time as me got fired after having some communication issues with a different senior colleague. I have records of all this communication with her but I feel like nothing really stands out as bad out of context. Sometimes the feedback is actually helpful, you know? It's just there's no compliments on the things I do correctly mixed in.
I wish it was easier to find new jobs these days. I feel like a ticking time bomb and it's only a matter of time before I melt down at someone.
submitted by Ok_Sympathy_1302
to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 23:49 kaelhawh Teachers who aren't on summer break yet - how are we holding up?
Last day for students at my school (PK3-8th grade) is still two weeks away and we're all hanging on by a thread. Behavior issues are at an all time high, our principal canceled the end of year field trip for two of the grade levels (including mine, 5th grade) because of behavior. It's reached a point where our dean has started telling students to just stay home when they misbehave because he's not allowed to formally suspend them, but he's tired of dealing with their shit. Many parents have stopped sending their kids to school in uniform because "it's too hot." but the uniform is khakis (shorts and skirts are allowed) and a short sleeve polo, and the kids are now coming to school in sweats and hoodies. Almost 20% of my students missed end of year testing because their parents took them on early summer vacation. I have some students who haven't come to school in a month because their parents have decided that the school year is over.
More than 50% of school staff are 15-20+ minutes late every day, if they come at all because call-outs are also at an all time high. Most teachers are also leaving immediately after dismissal, even though our contracted hours require us to stay in the building for another hour (not throwing shade, I've been guilty of this as well). Admin has effectively given up on our regular meetings/PDs. Three staff members have been fired in the last couple weeks. Several teachers have already stopped teaching, even though final grades aren't due for another week.
Most of the other schools in our area are out this week or next, but we have another week after that, and at this point, everyone involved is struggling to make it across the finish line for the school year. Anyone else in the same boat?
submitted by kaelhawh
to Teachers [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 23:32 StoneofForest Tokyo and Kyoto/Osaka Revisit
I'm planning a last minute trip back to Japan! I've been there before and hit up Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka, and Kobe. It's been about six years since then and I'm looking to treat this as a practice run for future solo vacations in other countries. Keep in mind that I have been to a lot of the "big spots" in Tokyo, Kyoto, and Osaka so if you don't see them here it means I've probably been to them! I'm also just listing days of the week to keep some privacy so to when I'll be going. It'll either be in late Summer or Fall. I'm also a giant weeb (hence why I'm staying in Akihabara) but I also love historical sites and hiking! I'm much more active than last time so a big goal is to get in many steps!
Thank you for all of your help!
Take time getting from airport in the late afternoon
Check into hotel in Akihabara
Walk around vibe / rest up, no serious plans
Tsukiji Outer Market - For when I'm dead and jetlagged
Kirby Cafe - not registered yet, already know what to do to get my registration and have everything I need to slam in a registration when it opens in seconds. Wish me luck! Haha
(Maybe nap to recover from jet lag)
Sushi Omakase? Or just eat some expensive sushi! (Any places you'd recommend?)
Imperial Palace Park
Tokyo Dome - for a special event
DiverCity Tokyo Plaza - To see new life size Gundam, go to Round 1, etc.
Shibuya Crossing - To just walk around and take in the sights.
Shinjuku - To just walk around though any suggestions?
Rest up and relax
Mt. Fuji, Hakone - Goal is to get there early and spend as much time as possible enjoying hiking, etc. (Still figuring out my plans here)
Monster Hunter cafe at night! - I already know how to register for this. I'm a huge Monster Hunter fan so I'm just going for the idea of it.
Tokyo DisneySea all day - I know that DisneyLand is technically the better one but I missed out on this last time and want to see a unique Disney park! My goal is to mostly take in the experience and maybe ride one or two rides.
Rest at hotel, laundry etc.
Travel from Tokyo to Kyoto via JR
Leave luggage at hotel / check in
Nishiki Market? Relax and eat out?
Revisit some locations I’ve been to before!
Fushimi Inari Shrine - Actually get up to the top of the shrine this time!
Arashiyama Monkey Park
International Manga Museum
Tezuka Osamu Manga Museum
Osaka Aquarium Kaiyukan
Travel to Tokyo in the morning/afternoon via JR
Spend some time visiting things I missed or heard about while in Japan. (Any recommendations here?)
Spend some time visiting things I missed or heard about while in Japan.
Check out of hotel
Eat some nice food / relax
Check in at Tokyo-Haneda Airport at 14:00 PM for flight
submitted by StoneofForest
to JapanTravel [link] [comments]