Bruising left upper arm icd 10

Less Food More Thought Short Play

2023.06.09 03:06 Vision-Quest-9054 Less Food More Thought Short Play

Let me know if this play is theater material. If not, I can scrap it.
This was a comedy-drama short play that I wrote for my theater's new work program.
Less Food And More Thought
By Vision-Quest-9054
Draft Completed –May 15, 2023
Characters:
Jonah O’Connell- An autistic man with anxiety and an eating disorder. He lives with his younger brother, Nate, his sister-in-law Katya, and his nephew, Damien. (Jonah can be played by anyone between the ages of 27-49)
Katya O’Connel – Obviously not her maiden name since she is a mail-order bride from Russia. She is Nate’s wife and the mother of Damien. She has a distinct Russian accent. She is also quite callously insensitive as she initially lacks understanding of her family’s personal issues. She can be a younger adult or middle-aged adult.
\Puppeteer* – Though this is not an actual character, it is a professional puppeteer that has experience with either arm rod puppets, dummies, or hand puppets. The puppeteer will operate an arm rod puppet depiction of Bob Ross on a TV screen complete with a large afro. The other puppet will be Damien. Damien can be either a hand or rod puppet.*
\Voice Actor* - The voice actor will perform behind the scenes and out of sight either hidden backstage or with an amplified microphone. He will primarily provide the voice for Nate off-stage.* If the puppeteer is unable to produce a unique voice for ‘Bob Ross’ and/or Damien, then a separate voice actor will be provided for both puppet characters.
Synopsis:
An autistic American man and his Russian sister-in-law struggle to find methods of coping with their own emotional problems as well as their ability to interpret others’ feelings.
Stage Setting:
The stage will consist of a kitchen Island countertop and cupboards beneath the countertop positioned center stage. Next to the main kitchen on stage left will be another row of ground-level cupboards stashed with food. On either side of these right-hand cupboards is a cheap rack of wire shelves filled with snacks and a garbage can. All of these edibles will be dried goods. Some of these dried goods may consist of Pringles, Lays Potato Chips, Pretzels, Ritz Crackers, Fig Newtons, cookies, pretzels, pasta, nuts, dried fruit, rice, etc. Also, be sure to include these items in as many other cupboards as possible. On the right-hand side of the Island kitchen countertop is a portable television. The television should be made out of cardboard and the open ‘screen’ should be facing the audience at the front.
(Stage lights illuminate the main center stage. Jonah is frantically opening and closing cupboard drawers on the main countertop and left stage cupboards so that he can binge eat. He gets into a box or bag of chips or cookies and begins eating hurriedly. Katya enters from stage right and looks at him in frustration and disbelief.)
KATYA
What in the hell are you doing? I turn my back on you for one second and you start stuffin’ your face with food!
(Jonah freezes mid-motion center stage from taking a bite out of something, his eyes wide open and his whole body stiffens. Katya briskly crosses over to Jonah and snatches the food out of his hand before throwing it away.)
JONAH
(Finally moving in protest) Hey! I was enjoying that! Why can’t I get a bite to eat around here?
KATYA
You already eat too much! Look at this kitchen! Almost every tasty morsel we have in here is in your giant gut! (She points toward his stomach)
JONAH
I have a bad impulse to eat when I’m stressed and I can’t seem to work it out.
KATYA
I don’t get you, Jonah. You have no job, you don’t contribute, all you do is fret around the house all day sometimes overeatin’, and I find myself having to clean up your mess while tending to that miserable brother of yours I call a husband!
JONAH
(A bit calmer) Hey, Katya, you’re an O’Connell now. Sometimes we do things differently in this house. I mean, my bro Nate ain’t perfect, but he sure tries his darndest to be understanding of you. At least, he used to…
KATYA
(As if outraged) Understanding? I caught him flippin’ thru dirty, topless magazines the other day! Do you know how much crap I found in his room? It’s not like he tried to hide it anyway. (Мудак/Mu-dak! I coulda’ made a bonfire out all the magazines I find stashed in his room.
JONAH
Easy there, sis, your face is starting to turn red. Damn, I could cook a hot pocket on it if I wanted to…
KATYA
There you go thinking about food AGAIN! Why does it always have to be about junk food with you? You can’t even eat healthy like me…
(Katya is interrupted by Damien, who is a little boy puppet. He peeks his head from behind the right stage curtain just enough so that the audience cannot see the puppeteer’s hand. Seeing her son, Damien, Katya lowers her voice to calm down but still has a somewhat grumpy tone.)
DAMIEN
Hi mommy.
KATYA
Damien, what is it? You see that I’m havin a chat with your uncle right now?
DAMIEN
I’m sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I finished my homework and was wondering if could play online with my friends.
KATYA
(Annoyed) Sure, go have some fun. Go indulge in some game violence. Oh, and by the way, what’s daddy doing right now? Is he workin’ on his work charts?
DAMIEN
He’s on his computer.
KATYA
Working? Good.
DAMIEN
(Giggling.) Yeah. He’s watching naked people hugging.
KATYA
(Outrage) HE’S WHAT?!
(Katya regains her composure after a couple seconds and addresses Damien in a cooler tone of voice. Jonah shoots her a quizzical look)
KATYA
Sweetie, go along now and play with your friends. I’m going to have a chat with Daddy.
DAMIEN
(Happily) Okay.
(Damien puppet retreats behind the right curtain out of sight.)
JONAH
Katya, please give yourself a chance to cool down…
KATYA
Excuse me, but I have an unfaithful husband to go punish.
(Katya rolls up her sleeve and exits stage right walking briskly again. Her angry voice can be heard echoing offstage with Nate’s. Jonah stands almost motionless with his face cringing as a reaction to the shouting.)
KATYA
Nate!
VOICE ACTONATE
(Nervously) Oh-uh…hi Katya. Just finishing up a project…
KATYA
(Interrupting) Cut the bullshit! I know what you’ve been doin’ in here. Damien saw you and told me a-all about it!
VOICE ACTONATE
Really honey…It’s not quite what you think…
KATYA
What is it with you and your compulsive desire to look at sexy stuff? First magazines, and now internet pornography? I’m a damn good wife! Do I not give you enough pleasure in the bedroom? When you got me through mail order from Russia, you told me I was the hottest woman you ever seen! And now you have to look at this? (Гавно/Gav-no!
VOICE ACTONATE
(Scared) Wait…I can explain!
(A series of comical slap-stick punching and smacking sound effects ensue.)
VOICE ACTONATE
Wait…Ow!what are you?...OW! OW! OW! Sorry…OW! OW!
(Katya re-enters the scene from stage right and returns to center stage to meet up with Jonah. The moment she re-enters Jonah begins ruffling through the cupboards again.)
JONAH
That was so not cool.
KATYA
What is it with you men? With Jonah, it’s food. For Nate, it’s sex! And look at you. You’re stuffing your mouth again like a friggin’ chipmunk!
JONAH
You know what, sis? You’re yelling stresses me out. It makes me want to go into Winnie-The-Pooh mode.
(When he says Winnie-The-Pooh-Mode,
He places a large empty bag of chips or some other snack over his head.)
KATYA
(Shaking her head crossly) Take the bag offa’ your head! You look ridiculous.
(Ignoring her, Jonah hums the classical theme song of Winnie The Pooh. After a few seconds, Katya snatches the bag from his head)
KATYA
(Softer but firm tone of voice) Like I’ve always told you, Jonah, put your energy into something positive. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move on from your pitiful problems.
JONAH
(Shrugging.) Easier said than done.
KATYA
You were supposed to be doing research or even flippin’ thru the Television channels to find something that could become a passion of yours – you know? A hobby to keep you occupied from eating and dirtying up my house. Oh yeah, maybe a JOB opportunity, no? Look here!
(Katya turns on the tv dial on the fake cardboard set.
Instead of a screen, there is placard filling in the square gap. Once the tv is ‘switched’ on, the placard is removed to reveal the Bob Ross puppet facing the audience through the large square gap. A small propped-up canvas is next to him. A paintbrush and paint pallet are taped to his hands. The puppeteer should be concealed behind the Island countertop where the TV is resting on the surface. There should be ample room for the puppeteer to operate Bob Ross in the gaping square space known as the TV screen. )
BOB ROSS
(soft-spoken tone) Today I want to start out with some Indian Yellow. Just enough on the two-inch brush…just tap it a little. Now let’s start off with a nice pretty little sunset…
KATYA
(Relieved and Ecstatic) Ah, perfect! (clapping hands together) Educational painting! This should be a perfect distraction for you. When you learned enough, then you can take a brush and start painting.
(Bob Ross’ soft voice trails into the background as the characters continue their dialogue.)
JONAH
(Wistfully) C’mon, Kat. You know I hate painting. BOB ROSS
We’ll just drag a little color across like so. Like that. Like that.
(Bob Ross continues to fake painting)
KATYA
You need to build some character, man. Nate and I have tried showing you cooking, sports, fishing, camping, hiking, golf, sailing, music, piano, ballet, dancing,…what more do you want?
JONAH
(Frankly) I want to be understood.
BOB ROSS
Mix in a little blue there with gentle brush strokes. Such beautiful effects you can make with this here. Such beautiful effects. And remember, there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents.
KATYA
(A bit tense and argumentative) You are understood. I understand that you need some professional help. I understand that you need more guidance. I understand that you need more motivation and thicker skin, but you won’t grow it!
BOB ROSS
Tap a little white into my yellows
And greens there…
KATYA
(In frustration) (Гавно/Gav-no!
(Katya jostles the television out of frustration interrupting Bob Ross’ broadcast. Bob Ross’ painting canvas falls through the TV screen and onto the kitchen floor in front of the audience. Bob Ross looks straight at the audience and maintains his calm voice)
BOB ROSS
(Soft Voice) Oh shit.
(Bob Ross maintains his blank stare at the audience)
JONAH
(Indignant) I happen to have problems coping with stress in a tense environment, especially around you. I have tried. believe me. I’ve been to counselors, therapists, and doctors, and they can only do so much. Right now, I struggle with my own demons, and it’s on me to fix my problems. It pains me to see how you pop off at people when they bring their problems to you. It’s like you try to turn them away.
KATYA
So? People need a good dose of reality sometimes. What do they expect? For me to coddle them?
JONAH
Remember when I was rejected by this one rare autistic woman that I thought was the love of my life? You told me to stop crying, grow up, and move on with my life without finding a source of comfort, relief, or something to help me cope with it all. Or better yet, that time my only friend died, you told me you were sorry to hear that but were just being polite. Nate told me that you shrugged it off like it was nothing.
KATYA
I know you were sad, but there are ways to find new friends. Don’t you know how to make friends?
JONAH
I have autism. It’s hard for me to make friends. Most people look at my behavior and my issues with things like…poor memory, or poor organization skills, or my weird cleaning habits, or the way I walk funny or maybe the fact that I can’t drive. And, and, they think I’m some kind of freak.
KATYA
(Frowning and shaking head) But that’s no excuse. There has to be other people like you. Other unusual people to connect with.
JONAH
Believe me, I’ve tried. Even the special needs guys think I’m a freak because I’m not mentally disabled enough to be like them. Oftentimes, I feel alone and sad and I just want to eat and eat and eat.
KATYA
Well, getting’ fat isn’t gonna’ help anyone, especially you. Why do you have to be so upset about everything?
JONAH
I could ask you the same question. For me, I can’t help it. I have a sensitive heart. I hate seeing people getting hurt, and I hate getting hurt myself.
KATYA
Well shit happens. The world doesn’t owe you nothin.’ Nobody owes Jonah for his sensitivity. Stop lettin’ yourself be so sensitive. It’s like being a crybaby. Do what everyone else does and suck it up!
(Jonah furiously bangs his fist on the countertop and glares at Katya with scathing eyes. The television set teeters over and falls behind the kitchen counter. The puppeteer should pull down the fake set. The Bob Ross puppet flails his arms and yells “HELP!” before he hits the ground.)
JONAH
That’s the last straw! I am so sick and tired of hearing the phrase ‘suck it up!’ ‘You’re going through a divorce? Suck it up. You lost your job and career that you worked so hard to hold all these years? Suck it up and get a new one! Your mom died? Suck it up!’ It’s the same crap I hear day after day since I was five. And you know what? It sickens the hell out of me!
KATYA
(Perplexed) What do you want me to say?
JONAH
(Calming down with a sigh) I don’t want to put words in your mouth. I just wish you could understand me a little more. Back in your old country, did you ever feel like you were singled out? Like, when you felt as though you stood out from everyone else because you did something different and everybody didn’t like you for it?
KATYA
(Looking thoughtful) I don’t recall. Maybe when I was little?
(Katya and Jonah sit together on the center stage floor in front of the Island counter)
JONAH
Times when you were bullied, Katya?
(An awkwardly silent pause for a minute)
KATYA
(Hesitantly) (да)/da. It’s happened. Long time ago, when I was seven, my mom made me wear a summer dress to a social gathering in our town. It was a festival in honor of our founder of the local Oblast region. The hand-made dress was tattered with yellow splotches all over it. The other girls were wearin’ good dresses. Seeing me, they began teasing me and calling me ragdoll cuz I was dressed in rags. I told them to stop, but they kept making fun of me. I had this crush on a boy named Vadim in the neighborhood. I asked him if he could dance with me, and he told me to go get a bath and change my clothes because I looked ugly.
JONAH
That’s horrible. And it saddens me to hear that.
KATYA
(Katya begins to choke up and stutter) The teasing wouldn’t stop. I fought with other girls at school and around town because of that stupid dress. My mom would always look at me when I came home all bloodied and bruised and shake her head, telling me that I was never a lady. When my mom and brother died in a tragic accident when I was fourteen, my friends consoled me the best they could, but most people told me to suck it up. It’s a way of life in my Russian community.
(Jonah places a comforting hand on
Her shoulder.)
JONAH
I can see how it’s always been eating you. Ya know, my parents were pretty ultra-conservative Christians. They didn’t believe in helping me when I felt down, hurt, or bullied by the other kids at my school. They told me to ‘suck it up’ a lot. That’s why it’s a trigger phrase for me. So when they dismissed my emotions, I used to raid the kitchen at night to cope with my hurt, my loneliness, and my stress at school.
KATYA
(A bit surprised) Wow. I didn’t know your parents were that way. These were American parents, huh?
JONAH
Uh-huh. They didn’t care at the time. But today, this is a new America. I try to live in the new and improved America. The new America of today has a growing awareness and respect for all people with special disabilities.
KATYA
You’re right. I’m technically a naturalized citizen here too. And if I want to fit in more, I guess I gotta try and be open-minded to the unusual.
JONAH
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
KATYA
What about your sensitivity, though, and your inability to find work? Why can’t you find a way to make something happen?
JONAH
It’s really hard to do, considering how my mind works. Many neurotransmitters in my brain don’t connect like your neuro-pathways. The chemical reactions don’t help me make sense of many things, like numbers, music, or planning things out. It just doesn’t work that way. Then there are dopamine receptors that are poorly stimulated. Dopamine is a hormone that gives your brain a rewarding emotion or a sense of accomplishment. In my brain, it’s like it’s been shut off. I can’t take much pleasure with most hobbies because it’s just not wired into my brain. It's why I hate art so much. I wish it were different, but I was born that way and can’t change it.
(Katya gives Jonah a sympathetic glance and an innocent question)
KATYA
Is it really that difficult to manage what’s in your head? I didn’t realize it.
JONAH
Yeah. It’s hard. But I don’t give up either. It’s not like I’m trying to find a convenient excuse for my condition. I want more than anything to have a job. To have friends. To help you guys out. I try to achieve something, but they are mental limitations. They’re harder to see when compared to physical limitations.
KATYA
I know. Instead of forcing my philosophy on you, I ought to work more closely with your limitations instead.
JONAH
Yes, try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for once. You might be pleasantly surprised.
KATYA
Unfortunately, Russians are not very good at doin’ that.
JONAH
Didn’t you know of anyone that had disabilities back in Ruissa?
KATYA
No. The ones who were badly off were segregated from the rest of us into special schools. They were treated as second class. If you had mental health problems and didn’t look disabled enough but close to normal, you were treated like garbage. How would I know? I have no experience.
JONAH
It’s never too late to learn. There is always room for improvement as human beings. Maybe you didn’t have the awareness at first, but it’s coming.
KATYA
I guess so.
JONAH
By the way, I’m sorry I was a jackass by not listening to you while binge eating.
KATYA
(Smiles) Ah, forget it. Like you said. There’s always room for improvement. We all have ways of coping. My way is bottling up my feelings until they explode. Your way is to pork out on food, Nate’s way is to watch pornography. Hey, why do you think my sweetheart Nate is coping with his feelings using X-rated stuff?
JONAH
Well, do you show him understanding when he’s in distress? Do you show him other forms of affection around the house besides sex?
KATYA
(Troubled Expression) Well, now that I think about it, no, I don’t listen to him very well and I don’t empathize with him when he’s upset most times. He’s upset right now over having his dream job application rejected. He also went through a botched tonsil surgery that causes him occasional pain as you know.
JONAH
There you go. Give Nate a hug and a kiss, sit down with him, and comfort him a little. Don’t nurse-maid him, but show a little understanding. It will go a long way. Try acknowledging him more throughout the day. Do this, and I can guarantee you the X-rated material will go away!
(Katya gives Jonah a big hug before he helps her up off the floor. Both characters are now in a standing position.)
KATYA
Thank you.
JONAH
Don’t mention it.
KATYA
Have you ever tried yoga? It’s great for mind, body, and health! I’ve heard that It can help with eating disorders too. Oh, and tai chi.
JONAH
You know what? I will definitely give it a try!
KATYA
Great. And this time, I’ll do it with you so that you will feel more comfortable. There will be plenty of positive and kind encouragement coming from me during yoga lessons.
(Damien’s puppet body partially comes through stage right and interrupts Katya.)
DAMIEN
(Nervously) Mommy. Daddy is watching naked people play choo-choo train on his phone.
(Damien exits same direction
By pulling out of view again.)
KATYA
(Smiling) Please excuse me while I go kiss my husband.
(Katya exits stage right with a
Casual walk.)
DAMIEN’S DISTANT VOICE
Are they really playing choo-choo?
JONAH
(Shrugging at audience) Kids. They say the darndest things.
(Lights fade out.)
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2023.06.09 02:50 rymaysta Coasters (in my opinion) ranked

This list is excluding the kiddie coasters as I am not a kiddie and am not gonna steal or create a child to ride them.
14 Corkscrew, going into the actual corkscrew lands you on your side with over the shoulder restraints and is so so very painful. Hurt my spine and shoulders loads.
13 Cedar Creek mine ride, very cute family ride and pretty fun. Usually go for a ride on this little gem, but not too great. Expecting its removal in the next few years.
12 Iron dragon, worst suspended coaster in Ohio, pretty boring but it's a cool layout and goes through the woods.
11 Blue streak, surprisingly aggressive but I love those PTC lap bars, and it has some decent airtime.
10 Gemini, fun racing coaster, a little painful but still relaxing. Final helix is sorta painful.
9 Magnum XL 200, very cool coaster to still be around and I like it, but it's legitimately very painful for me. Those last airtime hills always mess me up.
8 Rougarou, doesn't hurt me like it does a lot of people I've talked to. I really enjoy a lot of the elements, but Cedar Point's lineup is so stacked I can't really put it any higher.
7 Gatekeeper, I really thought this ride was super boring until my ride this year on it. It was much more forceful than I remember, and you can't go wrong with those keyholes. Great hand and leg choppers.
6 Valravn, very cool coaster to be in the midway and to watch but to me it's very forceless. Can't go wrong with that drop though and I'm glad it's here.
5 Raptor, one of my favorite inverts just behind Montu at Busch Gardens Tampa. This thing is forceful as all get out. Some complain about the headbanging but other than the snap into the break run I don't have any problems with that. I absolutely love the last helix and the loops push your brain into your chest. Such a good ride.
4 Millenium Force, running well this year from my experience. That first drop alone could put it near the top but just feeling all the speed for all that time is great. Good airtime on the last ejector hill. Better than Orion.
3 Top Thrill Dragster (pre 2024), the launch on this ride is like none I've experienced. The views from the top and the anxiety as the light tree turns on is so crazy. It feels like I left my body 50 behind me.
2 Maverick, took my girlfriend here and hid the "surprise" in the tunnel from her. That thing kicks, the airtime is immaculate, and this is a must ride for anyone going here. moves through the line decently fast as well.
1 Steel Vengeance (of course), the most absurd amount of airtime, gives me bruises on my shins and thighs as I am 6'3 but it's so worth it. Weaving in and out of the structure is so cool and the ending 6 hills are so much fun.
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2023.06.09 02:49 Vision-Quest-9054 The Forgotten Family

The Forgotten Family
By Vision-Quest-9054
With trembling hands, Liam gingerly lifted his father’s reading glasses off the surface of the small upstairs office desk. He knew he couldn’t keep his father, Gordon, waiting very long lest he fly into another rage. Gordon’s request was simple: retrieve the glasses within ten seconds or face the consequences. With his arms stretched out before him and both hands cupped together, holding the reading glasses, the pale-faced twelve-year-old boy descended the narrow staircase. “It’s all right,” He reassured himself. “It’s just a few steps down. I won’t fall this time.” Liam took another cautious step. And another. The musty odor of rotted wood and decay permeated the air with each creak of wood. The last five steps were in sight, giving the boy a sign of relief. The relief was short-lived when Liam’s left foot fell upon a small wet slippery patch of mildew, throwing him off balance. With a shriek, the boy painfully tumbled down the staircase and onto the main hardwood floor. Dazed and throbbing with pain from head to toe, Liam slowly raised himself up from the ground to meet his father’s furious gaze.“You careless little shit! Look what you’ve done!” Liam’s father, Gordon, pointed to the broken glasses on the dusty wooden floor. “You never take care of people’s possessions! You’re wreckless…!” “It was an accident!” Liam attempted to plead with him only to be sharply interrupted. “No, it wasn’t; there are no accidents in my home! I do not tolerate carelessness!” Gordon grabbed Liam by the ear and dragged him outside to a wooden shed in a barren corner of the backyard. “This will only hurt a little!” A smile formed across Gordon’s olive-skinned face as he tore off Liam’s shirt and seized a horsewhip before lashing out. “Please. No.” The boy pleaded in a weak sobbing voice as he hugged a nearby tree and forced his eyes shut. His cries of pain echoed to heaven as the whip tore into his bare flesh. To distract himself from the pain, he reminisced of the good past times when his mother was there to watch over him. There was also the soft, comforting nature of his sister, Marija (Maria), who was always there to console him amid physical discipline. His mother and father had been divorced for some years. Unlike many abusive fathers and husbands, Gordon was not an abuser of drugs or alcohol. Because of this, Liam had difficulty identifying the root cause of his father’s violent temper. He wasn’t sure if it was a form of mental illness or a history of intergenerational abuse. He recalled the time when Sonja, the wife, and mother of the family, was forced to leave. Liam remembered her tearful departure from their home. By their old countries’ laws, it was required for a father to retain custody of his children in any divorce proceeding. The loss of Sonja was a devastating blow to Liam’s morale. Tearfully gritting through the pain, he asked himself why these laws remained mandatory, for he did not understand the court ruling in Gordon’s favor. Why was it upholding such archaic separation policies? He longed for his mother’s touch, warmth, comfort, and protection from harm.
When the flogging was finished, Gordon put the whip in its place near the shed and glared once more at Liam. The boy fought back the tears in his eyes as his heavier middle-aged father seized him by the shoulders and pushed him against a tree. Liam winced as his lacerated skin clung to the bark. “You’re staying outside! Toughen up and stay put. That should learn ya.” With a grunt, Gordon wiped the sweat from his jet-black hair and mustache before shuffling back into their small, dilapidated home. Liam staggered forward to gather an old, dirtied shirt strewn across the tiny backyard to replace the previous one Gordon had just torn from him. Though It was one of his father’s more oversized shirts, it would have to suffice against the freezing crisp evening air. Struggling to fit himself into the dirty rag amidst the painful sting of his open back wounds clashing with the cold breeze, he shifted his woeful gaze towards his once vibrant family house. The house was practically a cottage, with only three main rooms. The tiny office space located in an upstairs loft was Gordon’s space. Beside his desk lay a small cot for him to rest upon. Liam and his sister, Marija, shared a filthy blanket on the hard floor near the main entrance. The last room was the kitchen. There was a broken outhouse behind the cottage for toiletry usage. The family had lived an impoverished lifestyle ever since Liam was born. Sonja managed to work for a minimum wage, while Gordon could not hold down a job due to his violent outbursts in the workplace. Once their mother was separated from the family, living conditions deteriorated even further. Food and clean water became ever more scarce with each passing day. Liam and Marija’s misery, including inadequate food and shelter, was compounded further by their father’s physically abusive nature. Once their mother was forced to leave, the beatings became almost routine.
“Are you okay?” Liam flinched as a familiar voice abruptly ended his thoughts. Marija’s soft gaze met with her brother’s. The ten-year-old girl’s blonde hair shifted in the breeze as her gentle blue eyes welled up in tears. “I’m not okay!” Liam choked as he, too, broke into tears. The siblings shared a sympathetic embrace until Liam broke the silence. “We have to get out of here.” “Oh no! Don’t do it!” Maria begged him frantically. “ You know what Father would do to you if you tried to do that. Last time when you tried to run away, the police caught you and brought you back here. Father was outraged! I thought he was going to kill you!” “I know,” Liam began. “But we can’t stay here forever. You must come with me! I can’t go alone.” Marija gave him a skeptical look as he continued. “We have to stay together, Marija, even if it means running away! We can’t go on living like this.” “No, I won’t do it.” She refused. “Father will really punish me. He will do the same to you.”
A foreboding memory entered Liam’s mind at that instant. Yes, he remembered it all too well. The flight from home, the missing person report filed by one of the ‘good neighbors’ to the local authorities, the manhunt, Liam’s capture, and the agonizing torment inflicted upon him by his father as a reward. As if reading his mind, Marija shuddered with fear. “Father spoke of the many punishments I would suffer too if you ran away again. Just think of what he’ll do if he catches both of us. The neighbors in our village keep watching us. They wait for us to move because they always side with father. They always hated us just like they hate Mother for leaving Father behind.” “Shit.” Liam cursed while banging his clenched fist against the dirt ground. Marija put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I guess you’re right.” He conceded. “If we ran away, the police would bring us right back.” “Let’s go gather some firewood,” Marija suggested.
The brother and sister’s crunching footsteps through the fallen leaves broke the silence of the quiet forest as they ventured several meters beyond their property. The outer layer of the forest was ripe with dead branches strewn across the forest floor. A shard of dried brittle bark was perfect for kindling. Gordan had returned outside to keep watch over the children. Perched in a rocking chair, he smiled as he struck a match against the sole of his shoes to light a cigar. With a few puffs of smoke into the dusk air, he reclined in his seat while maintaining a menacing gaze. Peering over her shoulder with bundled sticks in her arms, Maria shook her head. “Father will always watch us like a hawk. I could never run away.” The cold crisp air stung Liam’s cheeks as he gathered firewood. The sound of trees shifting and shuffling in the slow breeze juxtaposed with dark overcast clouds provoked an almost disquieting ambiance. A growing sense of dread slowly worked its way into Liam’s chest. “Why should this evening be any different from any other typical evening?” He thought to himself.
Darkness had fully set in. With a sigh, Liam looked into the fire they had built; it's radiating luminescence gave him a sense of comfort and warmth. It did not cause harm unless touched. Rather than fear or rage, the entity was known for its stoic nature against adverse conditions. To him, it was almost like a distant friend. “You and I, we are alike.” Liam struggled to divert his focus towards the flames, away from the rippling pangs of hunger in his belly, the sight of Gordan greedily finishing a cooked fish fillet, and his sister shivering in the breeze. “No food, no shelter, and no clean water for you for the rest of the night!” Growled Gordon as he approached the doorway of the cottage. Marija nervously followed him since she was allowed to sleep inside that night.
Liam shivered in the cold night air as Gordan shut the door with a bang. Starvation was nothing new to him. The small family was forced to fast from meals almost every day intermittently. Liam closed his eyes and shielded his face against the frigid air with both arms. Despite being exposed to the harsh hands of nature, he knew he would not be subjected to his father’s excoriating demeanor or his brutish chastisements in this temporary environment. Here, in the presence of nature, he could find a place of refuge. Finally drifting into a dream state, he found solace in his temporary departure from the real world. The visions he saw contained imagery of long-past memories almost forgotten, memories of his mother, Sonja’s intervention in times of distress. These visions were often interrupted by an overshadowing figure, a creature of practically enormous proportion that lacked any distinguishing features upon its form. It was initially difficult to decipher this being’s nature and purpose. The creature was truly amorphous in its appearance and was solely defined by a malevolent blackness that composed its entire form. It descended upon his parents with incredible swiftness and agility. The being enveloped Gordon, transforming his outer appearance to that of a raving madman, foaming at the mouth. His eyes changed from black to gray, then to a reddish-blue tint. Overcome with a fit of rage, he attacked Sonja with a stone and proceeded to bludgeon her to death. Liam pleaded for Gordon to stop but to no avail. The specter departed from Gordon and approached Liam with a summoning voice. “There is nothing left. Take refuge in me.” Though petrified with horror and trepidation, Liam found the tone of its voice alluring for reasons unknown. In its inhuman voice, he found purpose, however incredulous that may have seemed to him at first. Liam had witnessed this recurring nightmare since he was three years old. The increasing frequency of this dream coincided with his father’s growing cruelty over the years. He hypothesized that this nightmare was, in fact, a cruel joke played upon him by his subconscious mind, given its constant interaction with the outside world. Its poor interpretation of his adverse social environment was quite unreassuring at best.
The sharp crack of a twig caused Liam to jolt awake from his near-unconscious state. He sat upright to observe his surroundings. Squinting throw the darkness, he could make out the silhouetted figure of his sister in the moonlight. Marija rushed over to Liam and sat by his side.“I brought you some food.” She said in a soft low voice. “Where did you get it?!”Liam inquired. “I stole it from a neighbor’s house.” She explained. “Don’t ask me how I did it! Just take the food that I brought you.” Marija dropped a small sack next to Liam and hurried away. Liam unwrapped the food sack to find a loaf of bread, an apple, a baked potato, a vine of grapes, and a small slice of cake. Overcome with relief and hunger; he eagerly ate every bite. Finishing the meal, he turned on his side to feel a soft blanket beside him. “Bless you, Marija.” Liam thought with a smile while unfolding the blanket and wrapping himself in it. The overhead moonlight slowly faded behind the oncoming black clouds.
The following day, Liam awoke with a sudden jerk. Gordon was holding Liam by the arm. “Happiness and warmth all night, huh? When I gave her strict orders to stay inside, your sister brought you food and a blanket!” The older man cried out in anger. Gordon back-handed Liam across the face and dropped him. He marched into the cottage and returned with Marija, dragging her by the hair. The girl begged, pleaded, and screamed as Gordon threw her delicate form up against a tree. “Stealing?!” Gordon roared as he grabbed Maria by the wrist. “Mrs. Jacevich told me that she saw you taking food in her kitchen last night. This is what I raised? You are lying, thieving little bitch! You were told to stay inside! You will both pay the price!” Pinning Maria down to a tree stump with his elbow, Gordon snatched up a nearby rod and pointed it at Liam. “I’ll deal with you in a minute.” Gordon raised the rod and struck Marija in the face twice. He pivoted towards Liam and kicked him in the stomach, knocking him to the ground. Gordon continued striking Marija with the rod again and again as she screeched. Griping in pain, Liam supported himself with his hands and got up off the ground. “Stop!” He shouted, running towards Gordon. With a quick fist swing, Gordon struck Liam hard in the jaw. The boy lost his balance and collapsed to the ground again. Still determined, Liam charged forward a second time. Gordon swung the rod, knocking Liam off his feet a third time. Blood trickled down Liam’s face as he staggered to his feet, his wounds throbbing. The excruciating sensation of burning pins and knives coursed through his body. Through the pain and disorientation, Liam could vaguely make out a terrifying manifestation; Gordon’s pupils’ color began to alter into gray, black, blue-tinted red, and a plethora of illusory shades and tones he had never seen before. No. It wasn’t real. The disorientation was causing him to visualize images that were not there…
Gordon stood tall and began laughing like a madman. “The price for your crime will be paid in full. God damn you both!” Liam stared in horror as Gordon tossed aside the rod and drew out a long sharp knife. Raising it above his head, he trained it upon Marija’s throat. “Never again will you burden me and the people of our society. You are not my flesh. You are worthless! To hell with you both.” This couldn’t be his father. For the first time in his life, this man was threatening murder. Whatever was happening, it had to be stopped. A whistle in the wind and a whispering command inexplicably restored a vital amount of physical energy to Liam’s body. Up! Save her life. Extirpate the threat. The transcendental experience lasted for but a second. Channeling his hatred alongside this newfound energy into strength, Liam made one last desperate charge forward. Gordon’s mouth dropped as Liam managed to catch him off guard. Slamming into his thighs, Liam pushed Gordon off balance into a backward summersault down a small knoll leading into a neighbor’s yard. Recovering for a minute, Gordon partially rose to his knees before coughing up a mouthful of blood and collapsing to the ground. Liam staggered backward in shock at what he had just seen. The long knife’s handle jutted upwards as the red blade remained buried in Gordon’s chest. The last expression on Gordon’s face was one of horror and disbelief as the life slipped out of his eyes.
Liam climbed up the hill to meet Marija as she sat on a tree stump, crying hysterically. “It’s okay,” He said reassuringly. “It’s all over.” Liam held her in a total embrace before stealing one final glance over the hillside. Mrs. Jacevich emerged from her house to see her next-door neighbor’s lifeless body. She puckered up her lips and screamed before turning her frantic gaze towards Marija and Liam. “Help! Help! Murderers! Murderers!” The women cried out and pointed in their direction. Within seconds, neighbors were rushing to the scene. “Let’s get out of here!” Liam snapped. Hand in hand, the siblings hastily fled into the woods.
“Let’s rest first.” Suggested Marija. Knowing that they had been traveling by foot for hours, Liam nodded in agreement as he sat down on a nearby rock. “All right.” The two sat quietly for a moment watching the birds sing in the conifer trees. “Why did Mrs. Jacevich accuse us of murdering father?” Said Marija taking a breath. “You know that Mrs. Jacevich is father’s biggest ally, right? They might have been having an affair. It’s her word against ours. We won’t stand a chance. Our country has no fair laws.” Answered Liam. Hello. I’m here. Follow my voice. A message softly whispered through Liam’s mind. “Did you hear that?” Marija nodded in surprise. “Yes, I heard it too.” Keep moving forward and go left. A bit unnerved, Marija anxiously glanced at her brother. “Liam, I don’t think we should follow it.” “Wait.” He interrupted her. Listening attentively, Liam experienced a euphoric sensation manifesting in his mind and heart. “It’s telepathy. And I think it might have been the voice that helped me stop Dad from killing you!” “What?! No, Liam! This isn’t right!” Marija seized his arm in a panicked act of protest. Her brother gently but firmly took hold of her hand to lead the way. “Marijah. Please. You need to trust me on this. Would I ever lie to you?” Marija shook her head reluctantly as she followed her brother’s lead. You’re almost there. After circumventing a cluster of shrubs and spruce trees, they came upon a clearing. Before them was a vast hillside complete with a paved road and five medium-sized houses interspersed along the roadside. Dirt pathways interloped between each house and the main throughway. The two looked on in sheer astonishment at such a scene. “I’ve never seen a paved road before,” Liam commented. The telepathic voice continued its instructions a second later—the fifth house along the road. You will find me there…
A sizeable white home with a single gable and double-paned window rested atop the roof, which loomed over the approaching children. The yard was small but adequately spaced for a vegetable garden. The front porch railing was a contrasted yellow meringue. A thin, familiar blonde-haired woman smiled at them from the front porch. “Mom!” They both exclaimed in unison. Marija and Liam hurried into Sonja’s outstretched arms. “Is it really you? How is it possible? How did you reach us?” Liam was rambling excitedly. Sonja smiled again as Marija buried her face into her mother’s long wool dress. “You will find out soon enough. In time, you will know. I am just so overjoyed to see the two of you for the first time in years. You’ve both grown up so fast.” Between tears and laughter, mother and children continued their embrace. Sonja’s face fell saddened at seeing gashes and scratches on Liam and Marija’s faces. “My God, what has Gordon done to you? Both of you come in.” Sonja ushered them both into the Fourier. “I need to give you both medical attention and food. Ladies first.” She took Marija by the hand and led her into a small bathroom. From the corner of his eye, Liam noticed the same grey-blueish-red tint that he thought he saw in Gordon’s eyes. Another sign caught his eyes: a small trail of black soot leading into the main bedroom. The smell of mildew emanated across the halls. Liam shook his head in disbelief. “This can’t be right,” He thought to himself. Smelling mildew, mold, and rotting wood in a poorly maintained house was typical. However, this home’s interior showed no signs of deteriorating organic matter.
Sonja and Marija stumbled out of the bathroom slowly and methodically. Though Marija’s wounds had mysteriously vanished, her eyes were notably different. Her once vibrant blue eyes appeared to have an absence of color. Everything about her seemed different. Her pupils had faded from blue to gray and now dark black. Sonja’s eyes mimicked a similar pattern. She smiled and beckoned for Liam to come forward. “It’s time we have a look at those scrapes and bruises on you.” Liam took a step back. “Who are you?” Sonja tilted her head slightly and responded in a calm tone. “Liam, it’s mom. I’m here to help you. Are you all right?” He took another defiant step back. “No! I can see right through you just like I started to with Dad. Who are you?” Silence ensued as Sonja’s smile quickly faded into a disquieted expression. “Your eyes are different. Her eyes are different. Who the hell are you? What have you done to Marija?” Liam demanded once more. At this, Sonja’s tone shifted to a firmer one. “So now you see who I am. Unfortunate.” “Where’s my real mom?” Liam shouted. Sonja tilted her head once more. “She once lived here. She inherited the house from your dead aunt. But I have claimed her mind as my own. She and I are one, just as your sister shall be.” With a swift stroke of its hand, the being impersonating Sonja drove an incorporeal blackened hand through Marija’s head. A brilliant flash of light was immediately followed by Marija’s lifeless body crumpling to the floor, her eyes now pure white and devoid of color or pupils. Liam cried out in disbelief. “This can’t be real! You tricked us. It was a trap! You stole my mother and sister’s minds. You destroyed who they were!” “No.” The entity began. “They were absorbed. Did I not save you both from a tortuous existence? I cannot absorb you if you are deceased. Your mind must be whole when I consume it. The world will seek you out. It will destroy you. I provide refuge from the world.” Liam backed himself to the entrance door. “No,” He objected. “You must have been the cause of father’s madness. It all makes sense now. Maybe you were the affliction, the sickness. You destroyed my family.” “Your presumption is correct.” The being interjected. “However, your parents invited me in. They made a covenant so that their lives would see improvement. Every time they relinquished an ounce of willpower, I became stronger. The world offers you no hope. The void is your refuge.”
Within seconds, Sonja’s human form disintegrated into ashen soot and mildew. A dark, amorphous mass emerged from her place. Within seconds, it fully enveloped Liam’s head, torso, and legs as he struggled and kicked with every fiber of his body. Each desperate act of defiance the boy made was countered by the entity’s overwhelming vigor and might, which facilitated An intoxicating atmosphere, one that offered no respite, a blinding trajectory devoid of light, and a suffocating preternatural aroma poised to extinguish even the sanest person’s consciousness. The entity had lured his parents into a false state of comfort and hope, only for these emotional beliefs to be extirpated upon the revelation of the entity’s true nature. With his final parting thoughts, Liam wondered why so many men and women in the world could be seduced by the lies, deception, and feelings of despair that satiate this otherworldly being’s appetite, but most of all, how many more souls would unknowingly make a covenant with such an entity? Regarding those who embrace its false promises, their fate is sealed: In nihilum.
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2023.06.09 02:40 Vision-Quest-9054 Less Food And More Thought Short Skit

This was a comedy-drama short play that I wrote for my theater's new work program.
Less Food And More Thought
By Vision-Quest-9054
Draft Completed –May 15, 2023

Characters:
Jonah O’Connell- An autistic man with anxiety and an eating disorder. He lives with his younger brother, Nate, his sister-in-law Katya, and his nephew, Damien. (Jonah can be played by anyone between the ages of 27-49)
Katya O’Connel – Obviously not her maiden name since she is a mail-order bride from Russia. She is Nate’s wife and the mother of Damien. She has a distinct Russian accent. She is also quite callously insensitive as she initially lacks understanding of her family’s personal issues. She can be a younger adult or middle-aged adult.
\Puppeteer* – Though this is not an actual character, it is a professional puppeteer that has experience with either arm rod puppets, dummies, or hand puppets. The puppeteer will operate an arm rod puppet depiction of Bob Ross on a TV screen complete with a large afro. The other puppet will be Damien. Damien can be either a hand or rod puppet.*
\Voice Actor* - The voice actor will perform behind the scenes and out of sight either hidden backstage or with an amplified microphone. He will primarily provide the voice for Nate off-stage.* If the puppeteer is unable to produce a unique voice for ‘Bob Ross’ and/or Damien, then a separate voice actor will be provided for both puppet characters.
Synopsis:
An autistic American man and his Russian sister-in-law struggle to find methods of coping with their own emotional problems as well as their ability to interpret others’ feelings.
Stage Setting:
The stage will consist of a kitchen Island countertop and cupboards beneath the countertop positioned center stage. Next to the main kitchen on stage left will be another row of ground-level cupboards stashed with food. On either side of these right-hand cupboards is a cheap rack of wire shelves filled with snacks and a garbage can. All of these edibles will be dried goods. Some of these dried goods may consist of Pringles, Lays Potato Chips, Pretzels, Ritz Crackers, Fig Newtons, cookies, pretzels, pasta, nuts, dried fruit, rice, etc. Also, be sure to include these items in as many other cupboards as possible. On the right-hand side of the Island kitchen countertop is a portable television. The television should be made out of cardboard and the open ‘screen’ should be facing the audience at the front.
(Stage lights illuminate the main center stage. Jonah is frantically opening and closing cupboard drawers on the main countertop and left stage cupboards so that he can binge eat. He gets into a box or bag of chips or cookies and begins eating hurriedly. Katya enters from stage right and looks at him in frustration and disbelief.)
KATYA
What in the hell are you doing? I turn my back on you for one second and you start stuffin’ your face with food!
(Jonah freezes mid-motion center stage from taking a bite out of something, his eyes wide open and his whole body stiffens. Katya briskly crosses over to Jonah and snatches the food out of his hand before throwing it away.)
JONAH
(Finally moving in protest) Hey! I was enjoying that! Why can’t I get a bite to eat around here?
KATYA
You already eat too much! Look at this kitchen! Almost every tasty morsel we have in here is in your giant gut! (She points toward his stomach)
JONAH
I have a bad impulse to eat when I’m stressed and I can’t seem to work it out.
KATYA
I don’t get you, Jonah. You have no job, you don’t contribute, all you do is fret around the house all day sometimes overeatin’, and I find myself having to clean up your mess while tending to that miserable brother of yours I call a husband!
JONAH
(A bit calmer) Hey, Katya, you’re an O’Connell now. Sometimes we do things differently in this house. I mean, my bro Nate ain’t perfect, but he sure tries his darndest to be understanding of you. At least, he used to…
KATYA
(As if outraged) Understanding? I caught him flippin’ thru dirty, topless magazines the other day! Do you know how much crap I found in his room? It’s not like he tried to hide it anyway. (Мудак/Mu-dak! I coulda’ made a bonfire out all the magazines I find stashed in his room.
JONAH
Easy there, sis, your face is starting to turn red. Damn, I could cook a hot pocket on it if I wanted to…
KATYA
There you go thinking about food AGAIN! Why does it always have to be about junk food with you? You can’t even eat healthy like me…
(Katya is interrupted by Damien, who is a little boy puppet. He peeks his head from behind the right stage curtain just enough so that the audience cannot see the puppeteer’s hand. Seeing her son, Damien, Katya lowers her voice to calm down but still has a somewhat grumpy tone.)
DAMIEN
Hi mommy.
KATYA
Damien, what is it? You see that I’m havin a chat with your uncle right now?
DAMIEN
I’m sorry. I just wanted to tell you that I finished my homework and was wondering if could play online with my friends.
KATYA
(Annoyed) Sure, go have some fun. Go indulge in some game violence. Oh, and by the way, what’s daddy doing right now? Is he workin’ on his work charts?
DAMIEN
He’s on his computer.
KATYA
Working? Good.
DAMIEN
(Giggling.) Yeah. He’s watching naked people hugging.
KATYA
(Outrage) HE’S WHAT?!
(Katya regains her composure after a couple seconds and addresses Damien in a cooler tone of voice. Jonah shoots her a quizzical look)
KATYA
Sweetie, go along now and play with your friends. I’m going to have a chat with Daddy.
DAMIEN
(Happily) Okay.
(Damien puppet retreats behind the right curtain out of sight.)
JONAH
Katya, please give yourself a chance to cool down…
KATYA
Excuse me, but I have an unfaithful husband to go punish.
(Katya rolls up her sleeve and exits stage right walking briskly again. Her angry voice can be heard echoing offstage with Nate’s. Jonah stands almost motionless with his face cringing as a reaction to the shouting.)
KATYA
Nate!
VOICE ACTONATE
(Nervously) Oh-uh…hi Katya. Just finishing up a project…
KATYA
(Interrupting) Cut the bullshit! I know what you’ve been doin’ in here. Damien saw you and told me a-all about it!
VOICE ACTONATE
Really honey…It’s not quite what you think…
KATYA
What is it with you and your compulsive desire to look at sexy stuff? First magazines, and now internet pornography? I’m a damn good wife! Do I not give you enough pleasure in the bedroom? When you got me through mail order from Russia, you told me I was the hottest woman you ever seen! And now you have to look at this? (Гавно/Gav-no!
VOICE ACTONATE
(Scared) Wait…I can explain!
(A series of comical slap-stick punching and smacking sound effects ensue.)
VOICE ACTONATE
Wait…Ow!what are you?...OW! OW! OW! Sorry…OW! OW!
(Katya re-enters the scene from stage right and returns to center stage to meet up with Jonah. The moment she re-enters Jonah begins ruffling through the cupboards again.)
JONAH
That was so not cool.
KATYA
What is it with you men? With Jonah, it’s food. For Nate, it’s sex! And look at you. You’re stuffing your mouth again like a friggin’ chipmunk!
JONAH
You know what, sis? You’re yelling stresses me out. It makes me want to go into Winnie-The-Pooh mode.
(When he says Winnie-The-Pooh-Mode,
He places a large empty bag of chips or some other snack over his head.)
KATYA
(Shaking her head crossly) Take the bag offa’ your head! You look ridiculous.
(Ignoring her, Jonah hums the classical theme song of Winnie The Pooh. After a few seconds, Katya snatches the bag from his head)
KATYA
(Softer but firm tone of voice) Like I’ve always told you, Jonah, put your energy into something positive. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move on from your pitiful problems.
JONAH
(Shrugging.) Easier said than done.
KATYA
You were supposed to be doing research or even flippin’ thru the Television channels to find something that could become a passion of yours – you know? A hobby to keep you occupied from eating and dirtying up my house. Oh yeah, maybe a JOB opportunity, no? Look here!
(Katya turns on the tv dial on the fake cardboard set.
Instead of a screen, there is placard filling in the square gap. Once the tv is ‘switched’ on, the placard is removed to reveal the Bob Ross puppet facing the audience through the large square gap. A small propped-up canvas is next to him. A paintbrush and paint pallet are taped to his hands. The puppeteer should be concealed behind the Island countertop where the TV is resting on the surface. There should be ample room for the puppeteer to operate Bob Ross in the gaping square space known as the TV screen. )
BOB ROSS
(soft-spoken tone) Today I want to start out with some Indian Yellow. Just enough on the two-inch brush…just tap it a little. Now let’s start off with a nice pretty little sunset…
KATYA
(Relieved and Ecstatic) Ah, perfect! (clapping hands together) Educational painting! This should be a perfect distraction for you. When you learned enough, then you can take a brush and start painting.
(Bob Ross’ soft voice trails into the background as the characters continue their dialogue.)
JONAH
(Wistfully) C’mon, Kat. You know I hate painting. BOB ROSS
We’ll just drag a little color across like so. Like that. Like that.
(Bob Ross continues to fake painting)
KATYA
You need to build some character, man. Nate and I have tried showing you cooking, sports, fishing, camping, hiking, golf, sailing, music, piano, ballet, dancing,…what more do you want?
JONAH
(Frankly) I want to be understood.
BOB ROSS
Mix in a little blue there with gentle brush strokes. Such beautiful effects you can make with this here. Such beautiful effects. And remember, there are no mistakes, just happy little accidents.
KATYA
(A bit tense and argumentative) You are understood. I understand that you need some professional help. I understand that you need more guidance. I understand that you need more motivation and thicker skin, but you won’t grow it!
BOB ROSS
Tap a little white into my yellows
And greens there…
KATYA
(In frustration) (Гавно/Gav-no!
(Katya jostles the television out of frustration interrupting Bob Ross’ broadcast. Bob Ross’ painting canvas falls through the TV screen and onto the kitchen floor in front of the audience. Bob Ross looks straight at the audience and maintains his calm voice)
BOB ROSS
(Soft Voice) Oh shit.
(Bob Ross maintains his blank stare at the audience)
JONAH
(Indignant) I happen to have problems coping with stress in a tense environment, especially around you. I have tried. believe me. I’ve been to counselors, therapists, and doctors, and they can only do so much. Right now, I struggle with my own demons, and it’s on me to fix my problems. It pains me to see how you pop off at people when they bring their problems to you. It’s like you try to turn them away.
KATYA
So? People need a good dose of reality sometimes. What do they expect? For me to coddle them?
JONAH
Remember when I was rejected by this one rare autistic woman that I thought was the love of my life? You told me to stop crying, grow up, and move on with my life without finding a source of comfort, relief, or something to help me cope with it all. Or better yet, that time my only friend died, you told me you were sorry to hear that but were just being polite. Nate told me that you shrugged it off like it was nothing.
KATYA
I know you were sad, but there are ways to find new friends. Don’t you know how to make friends?
JONAH
I have autism. It’s hard for me to make friends. Most people look at my behavior and my issues with things like…poor memory, or poor organization skills, or my weird cleaning habits, or the way I walk funny or maybe the fact that I can’t drive. And, and, they think I’m some kind of freak.
KATYA
(Frowning and shaking head) But that’s no excuse. There has to be other people like you. Other unusual people to connect with.
JONAH
Believe me, I’ve tried. Even the special needs guys think I’m a freak because I’m not mentally disabled enough to be like them. Oftentimes, I feel alone and sad and I just want to eat and eat and eat.
KATYA
Well, getting’ fat isn’t gonna’ help anyone, especially you. Why do you have to be so upset about everything?
JONAH
I could ask you the same question. For me, I can’t help it. I have a sensitive heart. I hate seeing people getting hurt, and I hate getting hurt myself.
KATYA
Well shit happens. The world doesn’t owe you nothin.’ Nobody owes Jonah for his sensitivity. Stop lettin’ yourself be so sensitive. It’s like being a crybaby. Do what everyone else does and suck it up!
(Jonah furiously bangs his fist on the countertop and glares at Katya with scathing eyes. The television set teeters over and falls behind the kitchen counter. The puppeteer should pull down the fake set. The Bob Ross puppet flails his arms and yells “HELP!” before he hits the ground.)
JONAH
That’s the last straw! I am so sick and tired of hearing the phrase ‘suck it up!’ ‘You’re going through a divorce? Suck it up. You lost your job and career that you worked so hard to hold all these years? Suck it up and get a new one! Your mom died? Suck it up!’ It’s the same crap I hear day after day since I was five. And you know what? It sickens the hell out of me!
KATYA
(Perplexed) What do you want me to say?
JONAH
(Calming down with a sigh) I don’t want to put words in your mouth. I just wish you could understand me a little more. Back in your old country, did you ever feel like you were singled out? Like, when you felt as though you stood out from everyone else because you did something different and everybody didn’t like you for it?
KATYA
(Looking thoughtful) I don’t recall. Maybe when I was little?
(Katya and Jonah sit together on the center stage floor in front of the Island counter)
JONAH
Times when you were bullied, Katya?
(An awkwardly silent pause for a minute)
KATYA
(Hesitantly) (да)/da. It’s happened. Long time ago, when I was seven, my mom made me wear a summer dress to a social gathering in our town. It was a festival in honor of our founder of the local Oblast region. The hand-made dress was tattered with yellow splotches all over it. The other girls were wearin’ good dresses. Seeing me, they began teasing me and calling me ragdoll cuz I was dressed in rags. I told them to stop, but they kept making fun of me. I had this crush on a boy named Vadim in the neighborhood. I asked him if he could dance with me, and he told me to go get a bath and change my clothes because I looked ugly.
JONAH
That’s horrible. And it saddens me to hear that.
KATYA
(Katya begins to choke up and stutter) The teasing wouldn’t stop. I fought with other girls at school and around town because of that stupid dress. My mom would always look at me when I came home all bloodied and bruised and shake her head, telling me that I was never a lady. When my mom and brother died in a tragic accident when I was fourteen, my friends consoled me the best they could, but most people told me to suck it up. It’s a way of life in my Russian community.
(Jonah places a comforting hand on
Her shoulder.)
JONAH
I can see how it’s always been eating you. Ya know, my parents were pretty ultra-conservative Christians. They didn’t believe in helping me when I felt down, hurt, or bullied by the other kids at my school. They told me to ‘suck it up’ a lot. That’s why it’s a trigger phrase for me. So when they dismissed my emotions, I used to raid the kitchen at night to cope with my hurt, my loneliness, and my stress at school.
KATYA
(A bit surprised) Wow. I didn’t know your parents were that way. These were American parents, huh?
JONAH
Uh-huh. They didn’t care at the time. But today, this is a new America. I try to live in the new and improved America. The new America of today has a growing awareness and respect for all people with special disabilities.
KATYA
You’re right. I’m technically a naturalized citizen here too. And if I want to fit in more, I guess I gotta try and be open-minded to the unusual.
JONAH
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
KATYA
What about your sensitivity, though, and your inability to find work? Why can’t you find a way to make something happen?
JONAH
It’s really hard to do, considering how my mind works. Many neurotransmitters in my brain don’t connect like your neuro-pathways. The chemical reactions don’t help me make sense of many things, like numbers, music, or planning things out. It just doesn’t work that way. Then there are dopamine receptors that are poorly stimulated. Dopamine is a hormone that gives your brain a rewarding emotion or a sense of accomplishment. In my brain, it’s like it’s been shut off. I can’t take much pleasure with most hobbies because it’s just not wired into my brain. It's why I hate art so much. I wish it were different, but I was born that way and can’t change it.
(Katya gives Jonah a sympathetic glance and an innocent question)
KATYA
Is it really that difficult to manage what’s in your head? I didn’t realize it.
JONAH
Yeah. It’s hard. But I don’t give up either. It’s not like I’m trying to find a convenient excuse for my condition. I want more than anything to have a job. To have friends. To help you guys out. I try to achieve something, but they are mental limitations. They’re harder to see when compared to physical limitations.
KATYA
I know. Instead of forcing my philosophy on you, I ought to work more closely with your limitations instead.
JONAH
Yes, try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes for once. You might be pleasantly surprised.
KATYA
Unfortunately, Russians are not very good at doin’ that.
JONAH
Didn’t you know of anyone that had disabilities back in Ruissa?
KATYA
No. The ones who were badly off were segregated from the rest of us into special schools. They were treated as second class. If you had mental health problems and didn’t look disabled enough but close to normal, you were treated like garbage. How would I know? I have no experience.
JONAH
It’s never too late to learn. There is always room for improvement as human beings. Maybe you didn’t have the awareness at first, but it’s coming.
KATYA
I guess so.
JONAH
By the way, I’m sorry I was a jackass by not listening to you while binge eating.
KATYA
(Smiles) Ah, forget it. Like you said. There’s always room for improvement. We all have ways of coping. My way is bottling up my feelings until they explode. Your way is to pork out on food, Nate’s way is to watch pornography. Hey, why do you think my sweetheart Nate is coping with his feelings using X-rated stuff?
JONAH
Well, do you show him understanding when he’s in distress? Do you show him other forms of affection around the house besides sex?
KATYA
(Troubled Expression) Well, now that I think about it, no, I don’t listen to him very well and I don’t empathize with him when he’s upset most times. He’s upset right now over having his dream job application rejected. He also went through a botched tonsil surgery that causes him occasional pain as you know.
JONAH
There you go. Give Nate a hug and a kiss, sit down with him, and comfort him a little. Don’t nurse-maid him, but show a little understanding. It will go a long way. Try acknowledging him more throughout the day. Do this, and I can guarantee you the X-rated material will go away!
(Katya gives Jonah a big hug before he helps her up off the floor. Both characters are now in a standing position.)
KATYA
Thank you.
JONAH
Don’t mention it.
KATYA
Have you ever tried yoga? It’s great for mind, body, and health! I’ve heard that It can help with eating disorders too. Oh, and tai chi.
JONAH
You know what? I will definitely give it a try!
KATYA
Great. And this time, I’ll do it with you so that you will feel more comfortable. There will be plenty of positive and kind encouragement coming from me during yoga lessons.
(Damien’s puppet body partially comes through stage right and interrupts Katya.)
DAMIEN
(Nervously) Mommy. Daddy is watching naked people play choo-choo train on his phone.
(Damien exits same direction
By pulling out of view again.)
KATYA
(Smiling) Please excuse me while I go kiss my husband.
(Katya exits stage right with a
Casual walk.)
DAMIEN’S DISTANT VOICE
Are they really playing choo-choo?
JONAH
(Shrugging at audience) Kids. They say the darndest things.
(Lights fade out.)
submitted by Vision-Quest-9054 to playwriting [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:30 AT9_J22 They didn't know about Lindsay's story

They didn't know about Lindsay's story
crossy and chill until I ran into a salty player that complains about my crossy gameplay (my aim's scuffed).

just cause you're salty doesn't give rights to berate friendly ppl right?
submitted by AT9_J22 to KrunkerIO [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 02:04 DrMantis2Boggan [WTS] Magpul ACS, PSA Premium upper, Tinnitus maker 900, Mossberg 500 parts, Hellcat/glock light bearing holsters, and more. New lower prices.

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/sNArsTp
Howdy all. It's time to free up room in the safe as it is starting to overtake the room, top of dresser, top of safe, and closet. Venmo, PayPal F&F, cashapp accepted. The price you see is the price you pay shipping included (besides add on items) Need more or better pics? Just ask. If prices are out of line, make me an offer, I want this stuff gone to a loving home.
Trades>bundles>dibs>PM's.
$55 Magpul ACS in black, light salt. With sling swivel pocket installed.
$40-Crossbreed Super Tuck for TLR-7 sub Hellcat, horse leather, red dot cut
$40-Werkz IWB for Hellcat with TLR7 sub/optic cut. Comes with add on dual j clips, never installed. Basically new, only used like twice.
$25-Bravo concealment OWB for Glock 19/17 with TLR1. Comes with pancake loops (never installed) Only used for nightstand gun holster.
$30- 2 holsters for glock 17 with TLR7. These are from when the TLR7 had the weird side button, but I assume will work with newer TLR7a lights, but I do not have a new style TLR7a to test. 1 Gearcraft IWB with concealment claw, 1 unknown OWB. Unknown holster has sharpie mark where I marked to heat it and reshape for better retention, so consider it a freebie with the IWB.
$45- Cloud Defensive LCS for Surefire ST-07 tape switch. New, never used. I'm too poor for Surefire lights, ordered by mistake because I can't read.
$375 PSA 14.7 CHF chrome lined pin and weld upper. Factory PSA upper purchased middle/late last year dirrect from PSA. Added Magpul dust cover. Less than 100 rounds through it. No BCG or CH. Ran great. Too nice to be my loanebeater upper. This one: https://palmettostatearmory.com/psa-14-7-mid-lenght-premium-5-56-nato-1-7-13-5-m-lok-pinned-welded.html
$215-Sinus clear-er 9000 upper, built by me. This was my first AR, so dont shame me too much. Cerro forge forward assist upper (probably an Anderson) with a 6"ish? DPMS 1/9 twist chrome lined barrel. Pistol length gas. FSP cut down to clear a Fortis REV-9 Keymod handguard. KAK flash can. No BCG or CH. Light salt on the upper, light mark on the underside of the rail where I had a AFG mounted because I like not shooting my hand. I cannot even begin to explain how loud this thing is. I always put foamies in, then also used muffs. Tired of waiting for a cold range to go hang new targets? Just get this out, do a mag dump and you usually end up with the range to yourself very shortly. $215? Idk what it's worth, make me an offer if that's not reasonable. I don't really want to part out because somebody "borrowed" my armorers wrench.
Add on items below. $5 shipping if bought alone, free shipping if bought with something else. Buy 2 add ons and I'll cover shipping.
$15 Trinity Force Chinese AF buffer kit. Comes with tube, spring, and carbine buffer. Not sure what I expected. $15
$15- cabrine length M4 ribbed for your pleasure handguard. Probably off of a PSA. Looks new. $15
$20-rifle length ribbed for your pleasure handguard. Came off a PSA premium 20", immediately replaced with RAS5 for GWOT drip. $20
$15-Shockwave birds head grip for Mossberg 500/590. Comes with screw and washers. No plug, not sure the originals had a plug, and this one is old. Low salt biggest imperfection is around the screw hole.
$15-Mossberg 500 plastic corn cob pump. With "don't shoot your hand off strap" low salt, whoever put the strap on did a bad job at getting the screws symmetrical, but it works
$10-Polymer heat shield for Mossberg 500 will not work with Magpul fore end
$10 NDZ anodized red aluminum safety for mossberg 500. Will include screw and little ball.
$15-Odin works XGMR-1. Fits New Frontier style AR9 lowers. New in package. Bought wrong one.
$20 Blue Force gear Standard Issue Vickers sling. Well-used, absolutely ratfucked would be another way to put it. Still works fine, just frayed on some edges. Great for your clone correct beat to fuck GWOT larp. I bought this as surplus, and took a risk not seeing a picture. Smelled like rancid assholes, 3 trips through the washing machine mostly got the smell out, remaining sand from the Middle East included for free. NO QD's
Free items (2) gun locks. New in bag with keys. Free with any purchase, just let me know how many you want.
Trades I may be interested in, money on top could go either way with trades:
Holosun Aems (Non core) red
Holosun 515cm red
T-Rex Arms Lightbar m-lok
Mbus PRO rear sight
Streamlight TLR1 HL
BCM KAG m-lok- black
KAC (or P&S) broomstick VFG
BFG sling in the Lord's plaid (Multicam) (Non multicam colors considered)
Other trades considered, shoot your shot, king
submitted by DrMantis2Boggan to GunAccessoriesForSale [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:55 Feisty_Drop_394 Bianca belair humiliated alexa bliss

Bianca belair was raw women champion and was ready to face alexa bliss after alexa put her through ddt on the steel steps and breaking a glass vase on her head she was fed up and wanted to get revenge
When the royal rumble came and the bell rang both women charge at each other and started throwing punches at one another bianca belair being the stronger women easily overpower alexa and drive her shoulder in her stomach for about 2 minutes then clothesline her bianca went for the pin but only got a 2 count As the match progress alexa bliss was in control bianca would fight back here and there but alexa quickly shut her down know in the corner alexa bliss choke bianca with her foot and got off during the 4 count then got on the middle rope and sat down then grab bianca belair by her throat then start choking with her arm she put her down when the referee got to the count 4 then lifted her again she did this four time before getting off letting her go Bianca belair tried to get her up but alexa bliss kick her back down and put her in the modified bow and arrow after a few minutes alexa bliss let go the put in the corner
she kick her down untill she was in a seated position the proceed to bronco buster making sure her pussy was rubbing up and down bianca belair face after about 10 minutes of this alexa bliss let go and went for the count but only got a 2 count Alexa bliss put bianca belair in a chokehold but soon bianca belair got up with alexa bliss on her back then back her up in the corner the proceed to use her butt as a weapon and drive it into her stomach 5 time then she turn around to stand on the middle rope then did 10 punches to alexa. Alexa bliss tried to block but it didn't help the pain she was feeling bianca backflip off the rope the ran at alexa. Alexa fell to the ground to avoid bianca but bianca caught herself before she could crash into the turnbuckle and turn around and grab alexa by the hair and stood on the middle rope
"This what you did to me" bianca belair said as she put her arms around alexa bliss and lifted her in the air to choke bianca was smiling throughout the whole process and even did the same thing alexa did putting her to the ground when the ref hit the 4 count then lifted her in the air again after about 10 minutes of this she drop her and alexa bliss tried to crawl away but bianca grab her hand and her foot on her back and buster down with her foot. Bianca belair decided to humiliate alexa bliss a little bit more and grab her hair and stood in front of her and rub her face on her butt and smiling and laughing about it alexa bliss tried to fight back but due to her being choke out by bianca belair in the corner she was weak bianca continued to rub her butt on alexa bliss for about 7 minutes before she let go Alexa bliss fell to the ground and bianca did the handspring backflip off the rope onto alexa stomach and go for the pin but only got a 2 count. The match countined for about
5 minutes with alexa in control she tried to for sister Abigail but bianca counter it with the kiss of death and got the 3 count che hold her ribs in pain while she celebrating her win she look down at alexa and saw she was on the floor still she grab her by the hair and set her up in the corner seated and gave her a stinkface alexa bliss kicked her legs like crazy while both of her arms were wrap around alexa bliss butt bianca was smiling and saying "kiss it alexa you know you wanna" alexa screams was muffled bianca belair was having the time of her life humiliate alexa bliss after about about 20 minutes bianca belair let go and went to the other side of the corner alexa bliss thought it was over and was thing to catch her breath and didn't notice bianca belair coming at her bianca belair the bronco buter Alexa bliss and rubbing her pussy all over her face and mouth "Remember when you did this to me" bianca belair said and she she bounce up and down on alexa bliss chest alexa bliss mouth was open and bianca belair moaned at the fact alexa mouth was on on her pussy she was pretty much humping her face at this point after about 5 minutes of this alexa bliss chest hurt from bianca belair weight being on her mean while bianca belair was enjoying herself and can't stop herself from smiling bianca then said to alexa bliss "come on alexa I know you enjoying this" she the laugh as she countined to bounce up and down continuing the bronco buster to alexa bliss after about 20 minutes bianca finally got off the got her championship stabd un front of a slumped alexa bliss raised it up high then left the ring leaving alexa bliss humiliated
submitted by Feisty_Drop_394 to AlexaBlissHumiliation [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:52 Hypnoticartisian Having issues with teen (18) and her boyfriend issues. Need help with this one.

My 18 yo F teen has BPD. If she gets angry she explodes like a dumpster fire. Well, she got an in person boyfriend for the first time 8 months ago. She is the type to talk about offing herself all the time when she gets angry and she rages like a demon and says everything and anything. Her and her boyfriend have had domestic violence issues (duh right) and I've warned him and he would probably die for this girl. She's his first in person girlfriend as well. He lives over 200 miles away and drove every weekend to be with her. They would get a hotel for the weekend. (They were drinking on his birthday and the cops got called and he went to jail. But deep down I know she started it and he was grabbing her arms and bruised her up. I didn't want them together because of the obvious. But he was thriving before he met her in his work and home life stability. Not that he is a stable young man by any means, but he was getting by ok. She calls people every name in the book and cuts herself. Afterwards she regrets it, but she still acts out. It's exhausting really. Do after he went to jail he lost everything (job, apartment) He even crashed his car driving here months ago. Between the two of them I'm stressed. She is hard and I have to help her with her anger. She's been to therapy, meds etc. She's aware of her issues and so is he. Well, she started sneaking him into her basement bedroom because he had no place to stay and they want to be together here. She just graduated high-school so they sizzles up a plan. After a bit I realized what was going on as I'm very connected to her emotions and she has had few friends. So I spend a lot of time with her. She just now started leaving the house for any reason and it's been explosive. She's very intelligent and an awesome girl until she gets angry. I told her she could do this a few more weeks until they had the money for an apartment. But I had to hide it from her Dad because he is super strict about boys spending the night. They can go elsewhere but not here. Now here's my dilemma. She's been getting in fights with me because I'm so tired of the emotional outbursts I'm ready to explode. So my normal Mom talks have been pretty aggressive. Obviously she's stressed and they will not be parted unless the fighting gets bad. She will hit him and scream horrible stuff and he still doesn't budge on leaving her. I like it and I hate it. I'm glad she has someone that will be there no matter what, but I also know what that entails sometimes. Yesterday I blew my top and we did some shoving and I told her to leave. My husband was encouraging me to bluff her into thinking I wanted her homeless with no money. She just got a job after graduation. She also has a two year college scholarship free ride but only if she stays in this state. Otherwise she has a hefty 529 plan my Uncle gave her when he got a lump of money from having Agent Orange. So she's set for college and has her college all signed up and ready and it's about 2 miles from here. But if she doesn't go to a school in this state she doesn't get to use the scholarship. Ideally, I want her to stay here. This is why I even agreed to her weird plan. I don't want her to go to where he lived. His Mom offered to get them an apartment and my daughter would have a job with her. She's loves my daughter very much but she doesn't know a lot about her BPD. I'm really struggling with this because my husband is dead set against her having him here at all. He has a guy he can work for but needs to get the.money up. It's a whole twisted up mess. But I do not want her there. Both her older sisters did the move away and ditch their education. My oldest only needs 6 credits to earn a degree but won't do it. She had to be in college during CoVid and she is pretty traumatized. My girls have always been scholars and then they move away with a guy so I'm wise to how it all plays out. These guys are not scholars. There Dad never went to college either. I went back in my 30s. . I want to get her an apartment here, but she's attached to the boyfriend. My husband is fine with her moving away from here. They are enemies. He snapped on her a few years ago and got a charge. But he took it too far out of anger. I loathe violence but will hit back if I'm hit first. He's got punched by me a few times so he has been abusive to the females in the house. He has bad relationships with his girls. I left him once over him throwing a big box charger for an IPad at one of the girls. So it's not ideal here so I won't stop her from leaving. But, I have my hands tied on each end. Her boyfriend does not want to be here but will do literally anything (including sneaking in her basement) to be with her and she is the same. But she also knows how important it is to go to college. She has a lot of respect for our Uncle. He retired from the military and endured a lot of combat and she wants to honor his wishes. But she also won't leave the boyfriend to make his own way. Since his Mom will do all the things they want, she has a way out of this situation for awhile and they get to stay together. I'm trying so hard to do the right thing and manage the damage control part of her teenage years but my husband is set in his ways. I don't know if he's right for telling her to go ahead and go there or I'm wrong for trying to keep her here, even if it means her boyfriend is with her until the end of the month. But, she ended up leaving with the boyfriend. So she has no job. I was going to get the car my Mom gave me and she could drive, insured and tagged in a few weeks. I was also gonna front the security deposit on an apartment we looked at. But now she's there with nothing and everything I had planned out for her college out the window as of now. It's been such a crazy ride parenting her. Much harder than my other 2 and they weren't exactly a picnic either. I just really wanted her to do what she had planned and she will always choose the boyfriend. My husband says he wants her to go out there in the world and find out she's a dummy. Her sisters do too. They've always had the love hate relationship and now they're jealous of her trust fund for school, so it's even worse. I just need some wisdom from some of you parents out there.
submitted by Hypnoticartisian to parentingteenagers [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:40 TheFowo Started Muay Thai a while ago - how to regenerate after a training faster?

So I've started attending Muay Thai trainings recently. I have some experience in martial arts (1-2 months of MMA, around 6 months of Taekwondo and over a year of Krav Maga few years ago) and the class is mostly total begginers who struggle with simple punches.
Still, we're doing a lot of thigh kicks and boy is this a pain in the ass. I'm primary left legged (is that the correct expression in english? Lmao I think you know what I mean, my left leg is the strong one) so inner thigh kicks are easy, but my right shin now has a semi-pernament Sauron eye in the middle of it since as soon as it heals I break it again on one of those old and tough shields we have.
Besides that, my left thigh also feels a little annoying thanks to it constantly slightly aching from taking hits (especially the inner part, which, after training one time a week ago with a dude who didn't control his power, still has a nice beetroot colour). Obviously, parts of my upper body or my calves are also sore (here my calves being so sore surprise me since I do have really decent calves). Overall It's been a little over a month and while I can see majority of my body muscles getting stronger, I still feel like I just did an Ironman majority of the week.
Guys, in the past I did attend gym for few years (before stuff happened to my back and I was told to stop but that's a different story). Being that sore and bruised for over a month basically without a day off - I'm not sure whether my body just needs that much time to get tougher or I'm simply regenerating too slow. I do try to sleep at least 7 hours everyday as well as take creatine and decent ammount of protein. I don't drink a lot of alcohol either.

So, any tips? I am slightly out of shape so it is possible I just need more time, but still, I wonder if that's just how it goes at the beggining or maybe there's some pro tips that I'm missing
submitted by TheFowo to martialarts [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:26 AuthorInHell Hindsight's a Bitch (Color Me Black CH2)

After they left, I locked the front door and carried on cleaning. Normally I wouldn't worry about locking the door until I left, but even if those strangers were two of the most attractive men I had the pleasure of looking upon, I didn't know them, and therefore, I didn't trust them.
Small town charm, indeed.
As I grabbed the last few bottles from by the pool table, the jukebox cut out. I rolled my eyes and made a mental note to call Jerry tomorrow about it. It was too late now, after I started bartending for him, Jerry took full advantage of not having to be here 24/7. He was likely already asleep.
The lights flickered as I pulled the trash bag out and threw it over my shoulder, but I shrugged it off, even as chills spread across my arms. The place was old, and probably haunted, and it wasn't the first time weird shit had happened here. I threw open the back door, crinkling my nose at the smell, and tossed the bag in the dumpster before locking up and heading to my car.
My car was technically Jim's old truck, but after he passed, Doris said I should have it. I tried to insist that it go to Polly when she was old enough to drive, but Doris just said I had helped him work on it enough that it should go to me. Polly wasn't one for trucks anyway, she had claimed. It was only when Polly put the keys in my hand herself that I actually accepted it. Seven years later, and the old, ugly thing still ran great.
God, I've been overly sentimental today. Let's move on.
The thing about hindsight, they say it's 20/20. After this day, I'd say it's a bitch. All it does is make you think about every single thing you did wrong, over and over again, until it drives you crazy. And crazy people don't tend to see all that clearly.
The house was dark when I pulled up, the only light coming from the moon. Which you'd think would be normal, it being ten something at night, but the porch light was always left on for me, and Polly doesn't normally go to bed this early. Doris doesn't either, but she may have gone to sleep earlier than usual if I had woken her up last night. She probably just forgot the porch light.
I walked up the steps and found the front door slightly open. Now THAT was not normal. I paused at the threshold long enough to pull out my Glock. I checked the sled and loaded the magazine before slowly pushing the door open with my foot. I longed to call out to Doris and Polly, to make sure they were okay, if they were even here (holding out hope that they aren't), but instinct and years of hunting kept my mouth shut.
I tried to keep my footsteps silent, avoiding the spots in the floor I know creak and groan. An overwhelming smell, like rotting eggs, filled the air. It triggered something in the corner of my brain, but I couldn't focus on it right now. The kitchen and living room were clear, and so was the downstairs bathroom.
I walked towards the stairs and the smell intensified. You know when people say they felt like lead was in the pit of their stomach? Turns out, they weren't overexaggerating.
There was no noise, save for my own breathing, as I crept up. Room by room, I cleared the house. No one was here. No sign of Doris, or Polly. I wanted to feel relieved, I really did, but life has taught me that relief is often a feeling followed by dread.
Sentimental has flown out the window.
I checked the windows upstairs, making sure they were all closed and locked, before going downstairs to do the same. I stopped short at the sight of Lenny and Barry. In my living room. Normally, this would constitute as a dream come true, but the guns in their hands definitely gave me pause on the horny fantasy.
They hadn't noticed me yet, so I slowly raised my gun and watched as they made their way into the kitchen. I followed them silently, keeping my gun level, until they reached the table.
"I'm gonna need you to drop the weapons and explain what, exactly, you're doing in my house."
They whirled around, both going to aim at me, but I was quicker. I shot a warning round into the floor by their feet. (Doris was seriously going to kill me for that.) They both jumped back, hands raised in the air.
"I didn't say wave them around, I said drop them."
"Look, Winnie-"
"Drop the goddamn guns!" I said, as I cocked my own back.
"Fine, fine," Barry said, slowly bending at the knees to place his gun on the floor. "Just calm down, alright?"
Lenny looked irritated but followed suit, putting his weapon on the ground gently.
"Kick them aside."
Sighs of absolute exasperation floated through the air. (Seriously? Breaking into my house and then getting annoyed at me? Get a load of these guys.)
"Where are Doris and Polly?"
"Who?" Lenny asked, irritation coloring the word.
"Don't play stupid, I'm really not in the mood."
"Lady, I don't know who those people are." He snapped.
"Doris and Polly," I repeated slowly. "The two women who live in this house with me. The house you just broke into, with loaded weapons. After I come home to find them missing."
"Look, we can explain," Barry started.
"I would hope so, considering the alternative." I gestured with my head at the gun in my hand.
"Just lower your gun, and we'll tell you everything."
"Listen, Bare, may I call you Bare?" I continued without waiting for permission, "You seem to not understand how this works. Your weapons are out of reach, mine is in hand, you're in MY house, and my family is missing. I'll lower the gun if I decide your explanation is good enough. Which seems unlikely."
My voice, somehow, was holding completely steady, but inwardly, panic was filling every empty part of my body. My brain was screaming at me to stop wasting time, but I forced that voice aside. At this point, the only people who could tell me anything were standing in front of me, one looking pissed off and the other looking very concerned. About me or the imminent death he faced, I couldn't be sure.
"Winsley, your family, they've been taken by-"
"Sammy!"
"Dean, she deserves to know. She's in this, whether we like it or not."
I blinked at the sudden identity change, although I have to say, I was kind of grateful that two dudes who looked this good didn't have names like Lenny and Barry. Even if they were possible kidnappers.
Dean, previously Lenny, clenched his jaw, but didn't say anything when Sammy, previously Barry, started again. "They've been taken by what we think is a demon. We're not sure why yet, but that's why we're here. It's what we do. We, we save people from things like this."
"Things like demons." I deadpanned. "So you're story is, a demon has, for some unknown reason, kidnapped my family, and you two just happen to be here at the same time as this thing, because life is all just one big coininky dink?"
"We tracked it here," Lenny/Dean spoke up. "It's been traveling through Wyoming, ripping through small towns. It's killed before, but it's never kidnapped anyone. Until now. So whatever this thing wants, your family has it. And you're not exactly helping us save 'em."
"And your plan was to shoot this demon full of lead? Do demons bleed? Can they even die?"
"They're full of rock salt," Barry/Sammy said. "Salt doesn't kill them, but it hurts them. Slows 'em down. We slow them down enough, we can get them wrapped in rope soaked in holy water and get the answers we all want."
Hysterical laughter bubbled up in my throat. I've been a bartender for 7 years, in a small ass town in the middle of nowhere, and before that, well, that's a backstory for another chapter, but let's just conclude that I know crazy. I've delt with crazy, but this was above and beyond.
"This is either some elaborate scheme to distract me, or you're both having a psychotic break at the same time."
"Okay, enough," Dean snapped. Faster than I could track, he whipped out yet another gun from behind him and aimed it at me.
"Am I now a demon in this illusion of yours? Rock salt isn't gonna do shit to me."
"Well, actually, it hurts like a bitch." He said, shrugging. "Curiosity got the best of me. But this ain't no rock salt, sweetheart. So why don't you put the gun down, because I guarantee you I can pull this trigger faster than you."
I paused, considering, before twisting and aiming my gun at Sammy's head. "You wanna test that theory?"
They both went deathly still. Apparently, they decided to finally take my threat seriously.
"Fine, you know what? You want your family to die, that's on you, lady. We can leave you to it," Dean put his gun down and went to grab the other one from the floor. "But don't say we didn't warn you."
He went to walk out the back door, Sammy hesitantly grabbing his own gun before following Dean out.
"Wait. Fine. But I want some of those rock salt thingies."
Dean glanced back. "No."
Sammy ignored him and handed me his pistol. "Aim for the heart."
I slowly holstered my gun, replacing it with his.
"Dammit, Sammy."
"I think she can handle herself, Dean."
Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed so hard I was surprised it didn't propel him backwards.
"Are there any other buildings around here that might be abandoned or empty? Somewhere used for storage?"
"Yeah, we have a barn. Jim used to keep some of his old junk in there."
"Show us."
"Okay, full offense, for someone supposedly trying to help, you are extremely rude."
"Yes, and I look good doing it."
I narrowed my eyes at him but lead them out the backdoor. Before you start yelling at me, I'm not believing this bullshit. They're clearly insane, and they probably have my family locked in the barn, and I figure once they go inside to "scope the place out", I'll call Sherrif Bereta and get these beautiful loonies locked up.
That plan went dark, literally, as a sharp pain cracked through my skull and I crumbled to the ground.
*******************************
I'm sure we've all heard the term "spitting mad". Well, whatever that means, I was even angrier when I came to, back in the kitchen, surrounded by a ring of salt and tied up with, sure enough, a soggy rope. It itched.
Okay, yes. I got, well, got. I spent the past ten years of my life hunting animals, not fighting crime, okay? Give me a break. I thought my plan had been pretty solid.
I glanced around, trying to get my bearings through the bulldozer that had made its home in my head. Two major headaches in one day. If the tequila didn't kill my braincells, that hit certainly did.
"Bastards," I muttered to myself. I wiggled against the ropes, but all that managed to do was chafe. I attempted to stand, but they had tied my ankles together and to my bound wrists, so not only did I fail, I looked ridiculous doing it.
The panic I was ignoring earlier came back with renewed strength, and I had to stop all movement and focus on my breathing. I haven't had a panic attack in years, and I really didn't think this was a smart time to start again.
The silence broke with a screech that sounded, as much as I loathe to admit it, demonic. I'm not a religious person, if you couldn't tell, working a Sunday morning instead of attending church, so I didn't break out in prayer. I did, however, look around for any kind of weapon that I could try to get my hands on. My gun was sitting on the table, just out of reach.
"Bastards!" I announced again.
"That's no way to talk about the people who saved your ass."
Dean was standing in the doorway, a light coat of sweat shining across his forehead. His breathing was quick, but all in all, he seemed steady.
"You pistol whipped me, hog tied me, and seasoned me, dude. I wouldn't constitute that as 'saving'."
"Yeah, well. Difference of opinion," he said, a small smile playing across his lips.
"Where's your future cellmate?"
"He's finishing up with the demon. Should be here any minute."
"Ah, yes. The demon. Did you get any answers? Did you find Polly and Doris? Did you develop the sudden need to enroll yourself into a mental institution?"
Before Dean could answer, Sam came into view behind him, and on his arm was Polly. My breath caught in my throat as I looked her over, bruised, bleeding from a cut on her forehead, but alive. On her feet.
"Polly thank god, I was so worried-" I went to stand up, forgetting about the ropes, and promptly fell over. "Can you get these goddamn things off of me?"
Dean glanced over at his brother, and Sammy nodded. He lead Polly to a chair and positioned himself in front of her.
"Do you think I'm going to attack my own family? I'm not the one suffering from some kind of breakdown." I said, watching Dean pull out a knife and ever so slowly cut through the ropes. As soon as they fell off, I stood, rubbing my raw wrists, and went to make my way to Polly.
"Where's Doris?" I asked, kneeling in front of her. "Is she okay? Did she get caught up at bible study or did these two lunatics tie her up, too?"
Polly lifted her tear soaked eyes, grief overflowing in them.
There's something you should know about Big Traumatic Events, and it's that time moves differently in them. You know when you were a kid, swimming in a pool, and you sunk down to the bottom? The world was quiet, and your limbs were heavy and light at the same time, moving through the water as if time had slowed.
That's what it's like.
I rocked back on my heels.
I stood and whipped towards Sam.
I lunged for the gun.
Sammy caught my arms, pushing me back as I fought against him.
There was a sound trying to pierce through the overwhelming emptiness in my head. A sound that sounded a lot like a wounded animal. It's a sound I know well.
When Polly swam into view, putting my face between her hands, I realized that I was that sound. Something between a scream and a sob was falling out of me, and I couldn't stop it.
"Winnie. It's okay. It's gonna be okay," she sobbed with me.
I wrenched myself away from her. I couldn't, wouldn't, allow myself to be calmed down.
"What did you do to her?!" I screamed.
"She was possessed, Winnie."
"Don't call me that."
"By the time we got to her, it was too late. The demon had destroyed her body, and it was the only thing holding her together."
"STOP USING YOUR INSANE THEORIES AS AN EXCUSE FOR WHY YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!"
My chest heaved, and the two murdering bastards just stood there. They had the gall to even look sad. What did they have to be sad about? They're the ones going around killing people, claiming it's in the name of- of what? God? I didn't care.
"It's true, Winnie."
My breath came up short as I turned to look at Polly. Tears still streamed down her face, mingling with the blood. I noticed her lip was split, too, and added another tally to the scoreboard. I'd kill them.
"She was, she was different. She wasn't mom. She hit me. She tied me up. She tried to torture me, asking me questions that I didn't understand."
"No, Polly. These lunatics probably drugged you or something. THEY tortured you. They're feeding you their delusions."
"No, they aren't!" She shouted. "I saw it, okay? I saw her become that thing. I saw her eyes turn black. And I felt every moment she laid her hands on me. She was MY mom, Winnie. I knew her better than anyone, and I know that wasn't her."
Those words broke something deep inside of me, deeper than even Doris's death. Polly was right. Doris was her mother. Not mine. I looked at Dean, at Sammy, at the gun, my gun, that he was now holding in his hands, probably to keep me from putting a few rounds in the two of them.
I took a deep breath and simply said, "Fine."
And I left.
Authors note:
Yeah I made myself sad. I also feel like I used the word "Gun" so much. But really what else do I call it? Anyway. Supernatural ripped my heart out like twenty thousand times, so it's only fair I add some heartbreak to this story. Hope you like it!
submitted by AuthorInHell to u/AuthorInHell [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:21 dangs0n [WTS] SOLGW M4-89 300BLK 9" upper, SOLGW 300BLK 10.5", BOBRO 30mm QD mount, Railscales G10 XOS-H MLOK

Timestamp
Prefer to be paid with zelle.
Trades I'm looking for: Holosun 509tx2, Aimpoint T2, Sionics/Centurion/Criterion uppers/barrels

SOLGW M4-89 300BLK 9" Upper

10.5" 300 BLK Upper

BOBRO Standard Precision 30mm QD mount

Railscales G10 XOS-H MLOK
submitted by dangs0n to GunAccessoriesForSale [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:17 fvig2001 Tambourine, Maestro Music, Martial Beat Controller and V Pick review

Since no one has posted anything about these and I recently got them, I will post my thoughts/review on each of them. I might update this post to add pics of the product.
Tambourine:
Works with only 1 game and it's made by SEGA. It works basically the same way as the Dreamcast samba controller. It uses ultrasonic sensors. 1.5 shoulder width bar is connected to PS1 and that bar has a slot for the tambourine. The tambourine can be used with left or right hand. There are slots at back to position the wiring to match the hand you are using.
Game has you either tapping a button with your other palm, shaking it once per note or moving while shaking the controller in a set direction. The detection is mostly good except for when you're shaking towards a direction and the height isn't detected right away (it's for bonus points iirc, so it's fine). If you own a MiSTer, you would need 7.5V power as the default 5V is not enough if you are tall. The music is pretty much a kid centered versions of Morning Musume style songs (The 4 girls are affiliated with that group) with some of their hits. I would rate it 8.5/10. The mat isn't needed. I wish there more songs since 17/19 (can't recall which) songs isn't enough imo. The game gets a higher score because it has multiple difficulties.
Maestro Music controller
It's a conductor stick that connects to the PS1 directly. It has a long enough cord. It works with 3 PS1 games and I think 1 PS2 game. This requires 7.5V for MiSTer users or else the detection would be pretty bad. Gameplay is pretty boring. You just move your hand up and down. Faster you do it, the faster the music plays. The harder you do it, the louder it plays. Game devolves with you adjusting speed and loudness to classic music.
I would rate it 6/10
Martial Beat Controller
This was meant to be a fitness game by Konami. It uses DDR songs and you try to do kicks and punches based on the video. You attach 4 CR2032 powered straps to your feet and arms, with a base that connects to the PS1. The game literally asks you to put in your name and it's a pain to do it with these controllers. Like Right leg is OK and it's super sensitive. The left and right arms are for moving up/down/left/right and it's not consistent on how it is read.
The game itself (2 games, practically 3 due to 3 discs), not very intuitive specially the first 1. The 2nd game improves it by having the moves and timing shown on screen but it's in kanji and the controller detection is bad (did a song perfectly since I did it 3 times and I got a lot of misses). I suggest just playing the game with a controller and just punch/kicking along. It's probably much more fun that way. The songs are too short to be a good exercise and following along is a bit difficult on hard songs because there's no visual cues specially in the first game. Difficulty is fixed per song, which is a bummer but they're videos, so it makes sense. They probably should have just used DDR models and animated them like those boxing games on Wii.
I would rate it 5/10.
V-Pick
It works with 2 Japanese games that are English games that can be probably played by the Westerners. The controller is a guitar pick that's connected to the PS1. Annoyingly, it requires you to make a fake guitar because it needs something to strum on. It literally has a picture of someone using a tennis racket as a guitar. I used my Rockband 3 Pro guitar to test it. It feels like a lot more effort is needed to activate the V-pick compare to a real guitar pick, like I was tired after 2 songs.
It's kind of awful. It can't detect the difference between a strum up and down. I feel if you like the music in the game, then maybe it will be fun. I didn't like it since it was just boring and the detection was off sometimes.
I would rate it 3/10.
I also have the following controllers, if you are curious that maybe I might review
  1. Knockoff PS2 compatible that's a mix of a jogcon and negcon
  2. Ascii fishing controller
  3. Pop'n Music
submitted by fvig2001 to psx [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 01:01 jtnoble Numbness, tingling, headaches, chest pain and fatigure

Info: Male, mid 20s, 6ft2, 310lbs
Hey all,
I've gone to the doctors consistently every two weeks now for this unknown thing going on. Curious if anyone can help out.
Starting earlier this year (around February), I started having chest pains and shortness of breath. I had an EKG and nothing seemed wrong, so we went about it. After about a week, I noticed some numbness/tingling in the left side of my face, with redness as well. I have a blood pressure cuff, and took my blood pressure at 170/100. I called around and was told to wait to come in for an actual appointment unless it gets worse. Well, it got a little better, but after going to see my primary care, I was told I have high blood pressure, as the results have shown a consistent 140+/80+ over the past three years.
I tried blood pressure meds, starting with Losartan, but these made me feel weird, so I swapped to Hydrochlorothiazide, and it was fine for about a week, but then my potassium started dropping so I was put on some potassium pills. My doctor also put me on Sertraline for anxiety. It was around this time I was also diagnosed with an anomaly in Factor-V, so I'm roughly 10% more likely to get blood clotting. Because of this, I was sent to do a CT, where nothing was found. Fast forward a month, nothing is helping, and my doctor sends me in for another CT, as now I was noticing pain in my arms, most notably my left, especially with exercise. Nothing again, and two days later I had an allergic reaction to either some meds or the contrast.
Since then, we have tried an MRI, an abdominal ultrasound, and a sleep study. No brain issues, no sleep issues, and a small lesion on my liver, but nothing they think we should be worried about. My blood pressure meds were seemingly making my symptoms worse, so I stopped taking them, and surprisingly my blood pressure has been a little better. That being said, in this timeframe, I had lost 20lbs (330 -> 310), which could have aided the blood pressure. This was not directly affected by what's going on, as I have been trying to at least eat a little healthier (and by that, I mean mostly just less sugary snacks and soda).
Moving on to the present, I've been getting headaches nearly every day, sometimes piercing for multiple minutes before lingering to a small pain. The facial numbness and tingling is occasional, some days it's worse than others. I take Omeprazole, and it helps the chest pain, but I'm not sure it helps the weird tingling. My face is always a touch more red on the left side, and I get occasional pains in my fingers on my left hand (most notably my pinky and ring fingers). I'm also just more tired than normal. I used to sleep from 1am to 8am just fine every day, but now I can hardly get to 11pm without starting to feel like I need to wind down for the night.
I've tested negative for any blood tests given, showing no diabetes, no real issues seem to be going on. I've had multiple EKGs and CTs at this point, no signs of cancer, no signs of heart issues, no signs of tumors. I'm sorta at a loss right now. The only thing we discussed being a very small possibility it MS, but nothing came up on the MRI. Even if it were early MS, it should show something, even if super small. And as of now, my most prevalent symptom is the tightness/tingling in my face along with a kind of dreariness that almost feels like I'm not able to focus 100%.
Does anyone have any ideas on what this could be?
submitted by jtnoble to AskDocs [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 00:56 Captain_Lime A Dive into Sasnak Time

Dukas sighed. He had taken this elective because it seemed interesting, but now it was biting him in the ass. The first exam was tomorrow - possibly today, what time was it again? - and what had previously seemed like a fun little dive into the Sasnak, the eccentric culture that had only been mentioned as an afterthought at the edge of his primary studies, had turned into a descent into madness.
It's all speculation, he thought. Unfortunately the Sasnak left very little in the way of written records until far later in their development, which is what made them so frustrating. Most of what was known was what was written by other cultures, and rarely was it kind. Study the drunk pirate culture, that'll be a fun little class. Stupid Dukas. He read on in the section of Sasnak Astronomy.
...Prior to the development of the Carnatak calendar, the Sasnak and Sasnak-ra had both developed one each: Tonyak and Itir.
The Tonyak calendar focuses largely around the migration and breeding of important sea life. It is used mostly by the Sasnak, though some Sasnak-ra use it to keep track of what fish and whales are passing nearby at the time. The most important sea-life for the Sasnak vary wildly from region to region. For example, southern Akinimod groups such as those of the Eternal and Undying Morekahs in the pre-1000s have a general affinity for cobia ("black crabeaters") and yellowfin. Month names generally include what type of fish is passing by a region, such as the Island of Twapitpuj or the Shasaka domain, at a particular time. As such, months in the Tonyak Calendar are generally much shorter than that of the Itir and Carnatak calendars (and varied in duration), and are not subdivided into weeks. More properly, the subdivisions of the Tonyak Calendar are better called the Sasnak term for them: Tonyarkaht - "fish time". The term month is also colloquially used for this.
The Itir calendar is much more like those used in the present day: subdivided into seasons and months (based on lunar movement) and further subdivided into weeks. It is exclusively used by the Sasnak-ra as it is used for the growth of the "five gifts of Atook" - domesticated Maize, Beans, Chillis, Gourds, and Sugarcane - and supplemented by the hunting gathering of undomesticated flora and fauna.
The Itir calendar is much more like those used in the present day: subdivided into seasons and months (based on lunar movement) and further subdivided into weeks. It is exclusively used by the Sasnak-ra as it is used for the growth of the "five gifts of Atook" - domesticated Maize, Beans, Chillis, Gourds, and Sugarcane - and supplemented by the hunting gathering of undomesticated flora and fauna.
The Itir calendar is much more like those used in the present day: subdivided into
Wait, thought Dukas, running his hand through his hair, I read this already...
Both the Tonyak and Itir calendars make special dispensation for the Monsoon season through the summer months of the year, and then sync up with the same month names and periods. The Monsoon season is spent ashore for both the Sasnak-ra and the Sasnak, and the first week being spent as a festival at the tribal Morekah center. Sasnak will remain in close proximity to the Morekah for the entire Monsoon season, while Sasnak-ra will return to their villages after this festival is completed. Sasnak chiefs will use this time to plan their next movements for the year and to arrange cooperative efforts.

The Carnatak Calendar

While the rigor of the Carnatak calendar is largely a later development, its early form originated at approximately this time. Stellar and planetary movement tracked by the Marehs form the keystone of this Calendar - the five visible planets and the moon phases being the timekeepers. Twelve "grand constellations" were used in the Carnatak calendar, and also used for Sasnak navigation efforts:
Dukas groaned. This would be on the final.
1. The Crab - the crab is only depicted as having one claw.
2. The Leviathan - a depiction of a whale, occasionally with tentacles. A sea monster in Sasnak folklore.
3. Atook - A popular sasnak god. Depicted with an amphora.
4. Nil-tiyak - A character in a sasnak myth. Cursed for indeterminate reasons.
Cursed for indeterminate reasons could be the title of Dukas's autobiography.
5. The School of Fish - seven fish, each an individual star, swimming as a school.
6. The Ship - A depiction of a sailing houseboat
7. The Skull - The crude depiction of a bird skull.
8. The Dragon - a winged fish-serpent.
9. The Sisters - a group of three sisters, from the Nes-lo legend.
10. The Torch - a depiction of a torch, or perhaps a flaming spear.
11. The Vortex/Storm - the galactic arm.
12. Sellitna - A sasnak god. A man holding a spear in each hand. His head, a brightly glowing "star" is now properly identified as another galaxy.
The proper names of these constellations are speculated or unknown: their constellations have been seen in the interior walls of certain Morekahs, with associated illustrations of what they depict.

Crabclaw Navigating

Sasnak Astronomers and Navigators typically used tools in the shape of a crab claw to measure the distance of particular stars - originally, the actual pincers of crabs and lobsters may have been used. Occasionally these pincer-tools would be used as a map imitation of the Sea of Itiah and surrounding land themselves in the hand of a Sasnak Chief, marked with the location of various land settlements that they would frequent. Usually these tools were worn as an amulet.
Dukas's eyebrows raised. For a bunch of drunken pirates from hell, as the Hortens often referred to them as, they were a clever lot.
Sasnak astronomers would also make use of five planets visible to the naked eye to tell time, and record time as they passed through and between particular constellations. A day may be designated as the first planet being in the Sellitna constellation, the second and fourth being in the Ship constellation, and so forth. The combination of these methods results in almost 25,000 years of unique dates. The rigor of these dates in the calendar was not accomplished until much later in Sasnak development, but began at this early period.
Wait. Was that it? Dukas thought. The section ended there. Compared to his book on the Luzum cultures, the book on the South Gorgonea cultures was practically a feather, and the vast majority of it on the P'ufspuj kingdoms. Sasnak were again, barely an afterthought, with just a few pictures of some ruins and some ships and a few sections of text. Was this even the right textbook?
Context: Dukas is screwed.
submitted by Captain_Lime to DawnPowers [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
submitted by sandwich_with_a_hat to bees [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 00:45 thatbrownnerd69 [WTS] BA 12.3 Complete upper, hats, stickers, AR mags

Timestamp:https://imgur.com/a/zBfyZvM
Hello, it has been a while since I have been on Gafs this time I am back to selling ;). Got a lot of items for you guys today. pricing is with shipping included. Also selling some stickers yall might be interested in. Paypal FF/ Zelle No notes. Thank you for looking. Everything will be shipped by tomorrow. You must call DIBS ONLY then PM
BA 12.3 Hanson complete upper brand new with BCG/CH Magpul mbus gen 3, and a Silenco muzzle brake .223 which are also brand new. Looking to sell as a package all for $720 OBO
MFT Stag Arms mags selling as a bundle 2 for $20
TC Compass 5 round magazine for .308 $25 Never used by me
2 Stag Arms hat Brand new $15 Thompson hat $20 Brand new Mossy Oak Hat $12
Stickers/patches:
MFT minimiliast wallet $12 one in packaging one without $10
Fuck Gun Control Sticker $4 ea got three
PSA Jakl/Sabre Stickers $3 ea I got 10+ of each
I support gun bunnies sticker $4 ea quantity 8
Glock Sticker transparent $4
submitted by thatbrownnerd69 to GunAccessoriesForSale [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 00:42 LiseEclaire [Leveling up the World] - Academy Arc - Chapter 763

Out there - Patreon (for all those curious or wanting to support :))
At the Beginning
Adventure Arc - Arc 2
Wilderness Arc - Arc 3
Academy Arc - Arc 4
Previously on Leveling up the World…
 
The mage’s hands moved at a vast speed, creating the impression he was casting six spells simultaneously. Dallion’s motions were even faster, but the quality of the spells was largely lacking. Only his sword skills made up for the difference, maintaining the stalemate.
Circles of purple light and magic symbols flashed into existence, only to be destroyed near completion. Even so, an occasional spell would sneak through. Most of the time, it was Dallion’s spells that were ignored. Too weak to deal any actual damage, they found their way to their target where they would fizzle off. When Nerot managed to complete one of his spells, however, the entire scene changed.
Initially, Dallion feared that the mage would resort to a mass destruction spell and kill everyone in the hall. Why he hadn’t still remained a mystery. If Nil were here, he’d probably provide an explanation.
Spikes of aether burst into the air, filling the space like magic caltrops. All of Dallion’s instances that came into contact with the objects were punctured by his very own magic threads that grew out from the inside. In the process, Dallion lost five health for each instance killed off this way. Normally, such a small amount would be negligible, yet that was only as long as Lux was nearby.
Spinning through the hall like a deadly ballet dancer, Dallion kept on slashing at the mage with a series of spark attacks. He had to be careful not to come into contact with the floor or anything touching it. That was the trick that had caused Ruby and the cloud fox to get captured in the trap—both of them were in contact with Diroh, who, for some reason, had chosen to walk on the actual floor.
I think I’ll have to use the combo again, Dallion thought as he cast an aether barrier on the ceiling to leap onto for a direct plunge attack. The execution was a bit rusty, allowing the mage to cast a protection long before the blade struck him.
Dallion twisted his face in anger. Too many of the skills he relied on were unusable. Line and point attacks were out of the question—he didn’t want to be the one slaughtering everyone in the room. Spreading magic threads through the blade was also impossible since he needed it to have enough spark to keep shattering Nerot’s outer defenses in the hopes of eventually slicing through. Music seemed inefficient, acrobatics and athletics were severely limited due to the prison item trap… What else was there?
“The structure of the Academy has lasted for centuries,” the mage hissed as he kept on casting. The slight pause between words indicated that the fight was exerting him more than he liked to admit. “Created by the emperor himself. And otherworlders like you shattered all that just to gain an inkling of power.”
“What did the Azures promise you?” Dallion twisted in then thrust forward, performing a shattering strike aimed at the mage’s shoulder.
The pure force of the attack managed to pass through the shell of magic, shattering the old man’s left arm.
For a moment Dallion felt a rush of euphoria. Sadly, it was short-lived. A mesh of green light formed around the wounded area, repairing both wounds and attire.
“The Azure federation be damned!” The old man hissed. “They’re no better. Battle mages with delusions of grandeur incapable of seeing the greatness of the universe. It’s time for mages with actual knowledge rise to the top as it should be.”
Another rogue megalomaniac, Dallion sighed internally. They were always the same, just as they were too prideful to admit when they received help. Katka and the other battle mages of the Academy had dealt with close to a dozen such individuals so far and it was always the same: vague, prideful, senior mages who felt even more unappreciated after the latest world changes. Some had even tried to establish rival “academies” only to find that changing the world order of things wasn’t as easy as they imagined.
“Is that why you put me into these clothes?” Dallion successfully cast another spell, causing a circle of twelve aether blades to emerge around him. “So I can’t use my weapons to stop you?” Music threads linked to the blades, causing them to resonate with pain.
The effect was harmful to everyone, though Dallion hoped it would be more so on the mage. He really hated fighting such enemies. They appeared frail and snobbish, yet possessed such an arsenal of spells that could make them boost all of their traits at a moment’s notice, and that was before they started using the really devastating casts.
Can you hear me? Dallion asked, changing his approach. If he couldn’t go against an enemy directly, he was going to go after his clothes. I know you can hear me, he said, using his music skills to add a note of authority.
We were warned not to talk to you, the robe replied.
In the midst of fighting, Dallion cracked a smile. Of course, it would be the robe that would rebel. Someone as snobbish as Nerot probably viewed it as an unwanted stepchild. As a mage he was required to wear it, even if he strongly preferred to have something a lot fancier.
You don’t like him much, do you? Dallion pressed on. Why put up with someone who hates you?
He’s still my owner.
Help me and I’ll be your new one, Dallion said. This was the first time he had actually offered to bribe an item. It wasn’t a lie. Seeing the magic threads and included symbols, he could tell that the robe had close to exceptional qualities. It wasn’t as good as the archmage’s, but definitely better than his.
You already have a robe.
I also have the ability to modify items, far better than the old man.
There was a moment of silence. The intensity of the fight between Dallion and Nerot increased. Then one of the mage’s long sleeves caught his fingers. It seemed natural—something that could happen to anyone who valued style over practicality. However, Dallion knew that he’d gotten his answer.
The next time the harpsisword struck, no barrier emerged, letting it slice through the layers of garment and into the man’s side.
You better repair that once you’re done, the robe said with an almost audible wink.
“Bastard!” the old mage screamed. All of his spells fizzed away as he quickly started a series of new ones to compensate for the unexpected event. The waves of anger coming from him were deafening. And still, beyond the hatred, there was something else… a barely audible voice that kept whispering.
Once you kill him, you’ll be able to take your rightful place as the head of Linatol, the voice said.
Even he has an echo? Dallion wondered.
Weapons and magic aren’t the only ways to win a battle, the haprsisword said. Realm invasions were quite popular, a lot more than in the current age.
That made sense. It was one of the first warnings Dallion received, both within the realms and without. He had often asked himself why such importance was put on that, considering how rarely it actually occurred. Now he had his answer. Having one’s realm invaded was devastating, and also there was no way to tell that anything was wrong. The mage and all the other members of the “coup” might have had their realms invaded months or even years ago. It was even possible that they themselves had forgotten about it under the influence of a powerful limiting echo. They would continue with their lives, their loyalties unchanged until the moment they were thrust into action… like now.
Taking advantage of his opponent’s weakness, Dallion quickly put a few more strikes in. His speed, combined with the robe’s meddling, managed to grant him a few hits before the mage had successfully cast his protection and healing spells. In his mind, Dallion could almost see the red rectangles pop up. Unfortunately, that didn’t prove enough to earn him the victory. Unlike Katka, experienced mages were difficult to take down. Nil was very right when he said that a good strategy trumped quick reflexes each time.
A new set of aether swords emerged, though this time belonging to Nerot. The mage had swallowed his pride and was now using anything and everything to remain in the fight, including copying Dallion’s low-level spells. Purple filled the room, giving it the appearance of a vortex realm.
Every second dozens of Dallion’s instances faded out of existence, only to be replaced by dozens more. Yet, despite the huge strain, he could see he was starting to gain the upper hand. As much as the mage was doing, he was merely compensating for that single moment his robe had gone against him.
Harp, will his magic withstand a point attack? Dallion asked.
Maybe, the weapon’s guardian didn’t sound certain. It’s risky.
Not if I angle it right. All I need is to make sure that there’s nothing between him and the wall when I—
Reality shattered like glass. Fragments that could be felt, but didn’t exist, filled the hall bringing time to normal.
Both Dallion and the mage instinctively pulled back. Crossbow bolts hit the ceiling, destroying an entire portion of it. With several of his instances, Dallion could see Ruby send wind slashes against a small group of “merchants” who were charging at Diroh. A wave of ice quickly stopped them in their tracks as the fury focused on other targets. Even Skye was moving about like a ball of mist, blocking the vision of everyone who got near. But amid all the chaos, the event that was most notable of all was the archduke standing up from his throne.
Raw power emanated from him as he rose like a titan, his sights set on the mage.
“Did you think you could contain me in a realm, Nerot?” his voice boomed. Beneath him, the throne crumbled as if made of sugar. “You’ve grown bold and stupid in your old age.”
Black tendrils surrounded the mage as the overseer also emerged in the room. Aether and void clashed, with neither gaining the upper hand.
“When you ran from the Academy I took you in and this is how you thank me?” A chunk of the wall broke off, transforming into a spike as it flew at the mage’s stomach. The hit was fatal, piercing through tendrils, barriers, and the mage’s body himself.
The sight was enough to send chills down Dallion’s spine. That was the true power of an archduke. The political defeat had cost him a lot, but as a person, he remained strong as ever. It was that power that kept all other of his relatives at bay. They wanted the throne, but were fully aware they couldn’t have it. The display of power was also a warning: neither mage, nor overseer, nor plot attempt was capable of killing off the rightful ruler of the province.
Dallion looked at the remnants of the mage. While he could still sense the robe and many of the other item guardians, the magic that had been throughout the old man was no more. While a relief, that also was a pity. Dallion would have liked to have a go at questioning the echoes in his realm. It was very likely that most of them would have faded away before answering any questions, but the pride of their owners would have ensured that they be seen doing so. Now, all of Nerot’s secrets died with him.
The floor behind Archduke Linatol rose up, forming a new throne in the place of the last. Content that he had made his point, the noble sat back down, completely disinterested in the rest of the fighting that was taking place.
“So,” he looked at Dallion while the overseer joined the fray on his behalf. “Where were we?”
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this story, consider joining my patreon or check out my other stories on redditserials:
The Scuu Paradox (a Space Opera Sci Fi)
The Cassandrian Theory (a Space Opera Sci Fi)
The Impeccable Adventure of the Reluctant Dungeon (Dungeon Core Adventure Comedy)
Uncharted Waters (An Urban Fantasy Detective Noir)
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2023.06.09 00:13 Bl1tz-Kr1eg Analysing the Second West Russian War Part 2 - International diplomacy

Alright, so this is part 2 of my analysis of the 2nd WRW. Part 1, where I looked at the pure statistics, is here,
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While the outcome of the Second WRW will mostly be decided on the ground, international actors can play quite the role in giving Russia a fighting chance, or alternatively hastening their downfall. In this post I will analyse the diplomatic activity that might surround the conflict, along with the possible inputs of the following:-
The Pakt
The US
Japan
Italy
And some others.
For continuity from my last post, we're assuming a scenario where both powers are somewhat successful going into the mid-70's. For Germany, Fash Speer, with the Pakt including Iran or the UAR, or even both. For Russia, a decently competent unifier like Zhukov, Batov, Suslov, Novosibirsk, Irkutsk or Viatka, but no one too extreme on either end. We're also assuming the war begins in 1978, giving Russia about 6-7 years to consolidate and re-arm post reunification.
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So lets start with the war itself. But not what's actually going on. Rather, what it would look like to the international community?
Well, to begin with, a long-dead power has just risen from the ashes of a radio-silent wasteland (where no one knew what has been going on for two decades) possibly following a radically different ideology from its predecessor, the USSR. This new Russia is now, to the disbelief of everyone, is going after the first power of Europe and one of the world's superpowers - a nation that already put it down twice - with a complete disadvantage in manpower, material and support. To anyone with a brain, and a less than average knowledge of domestic affairs in both nations, this is a losing fight, and you wouldn't be ridiculed for suggesting Germany's got this under control.
But there's more going on.
In the background, a web of diplomacy laid by both sides for half a decade prior is now starting to come to fruition. Let's see the options.
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The Pakt - The Pakt by the mid-70's has the potential to be massive. Covering half of Europe in most runs, and possibly more, along with significant influence in the Middle East. People tend to forget the Pakt in their WRW headcanons, but it really is a major player here. After all, is the Pakt not a defensive alliance? But let's assume that none of the nations of the Pakt (apart from Finland and Iran for reasons I'll elaborate on later) want to get directly involved. Germany can still rely on the material and diplomatic support from the entirety of the Pakt, as well as neutral Pakt-aligned nations like Sweden and the UAR. These nations would most definitely condemn Russia, and would cut all trade to Russia, as minor as it is. Additionally, the Zollverein, an EU of sorts, has enough trade flowing within it to keep Germany and it's industry afloat for the duration of the war.
The United States - Surely, the United States will step up! Upon the commencement of the WRW, the last beacon of liberty will waste no time in embargoing the Pakt, and flooding Russia with 5.56cm Democracy! Or will it? Lets consider a few things. Assuming Speer is in charge, and has spent the last ten years signing trade agreements with the OFN and lifting embargoes, why is the US going to just throw away a massive revenue stream for what is most likely a losing fight? As mentioned above, for all observers this is most likely a losing fight for Russia, and the US needs to balance supporting Russia and not antagonising another nuclear superpower when they already have their hands full with Japan.
That's not to say the US won't covertly support Russia with supplies. American Equipment is far superior to Russian Equipment here, and it's use could help balance the scales in the conflict. But the most likely scenario is for American support to amount to covert aid and nothing more.
This may change if Russia wins some quick early victories, and the prospect of a Russia victory grows. In that case, the US may decide it's worth putting all their eggs into the Russian basket, and one could expect diplomatic and material support to grow.
TLDR - It's gonna be a careful balancing act.
Japan - On the other side of Asia and the Pacific lies Japan. I'm gonna start with uncomfortable conversations here - Japan and Germany have very little reason to be antagonistic to each other. Their spheres largely do not interact, and Japan has far more pressing concerns in the Pacific.
On the flip side though any American supported Russia would be seen as a threat to Japanese interests, especially since the prospect of a victorious Russia turning their attention to Primorsky and Vladivostok isn't unrealistic.
Unless someone who is explicitly pro-Japan is in charge, actually providing concrete benefits to the Sphere, there is very little chance of Japan throwing their weight behind Russia.
Italy - Most people wouldn't expect Italy to be Russia's greatest supporter, but hear me out. Italy has a lot of reasons to want to fuck Germany over, as a Russian victory and collapse of the Pakt could see Italy swoop in and pick up the pieces, replacing Germany as Europe's first power. I can see Italy throwing some support behind the Russians, mostly through material and diplomatic support. Considering Italy, even at its weakest, controls the Suez and the Mediterranean, and has a healthy oil supply from the Gulf, an embargo on or from Germany could be weathered. The Italians, nuclear armed, know that Germany wouldn't dare fight both Russia and Italy together.
However, it's still a balancing act, given that Germany literally borders the Italian state. It's just as likely that Italy could support Germany too.
The Pakt (part 2) - I said earlier that Iran and Finland could get directly involved. And it depends entirely on momentum. Should the Germans weather the offensive and begin pushing back, Finland may consider it well worth their time to open up another front and take Karelia back. Iran could potentially share a border with Russia, should the Russians decide to absorb Central Asia, and it's very possible that the Iranians could see the 2WRW as a threat to their own security, similarly throwing their full weight behind Germany should the latter start winning.
Around the world - China - Too busy. India - Bigger fish to fry. Iberia, Britain, Brazil, Argentina - Depends on alignment.
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Equipment and supplies.
We've already established that some powers will send minor to significant amounts of aid to Russia. But how might this look on the field?
To begin with, Japan is the only country that could provide significant amounts of aid to Russia, if they wish to. Why? Ports. Russia has ONE port that it could use throughout the year, and that is Magadan. The arctic ports? Frozen half the year. European ports? Kriegsmarine says hello. Japan can largely bypass this by supplying aid through Manchuria, but regardless of who provides the aid, be it the OFN, CPS or Italy, there is no chance in hell they provide enough to arm every single one of the millions of Russians flooding into Moskowien. Most likely, foreign aid will be limited to select elite units, while the vast majority of the Russian Army is equipped with domestically produced (and likely outdated) equipment.
On the other hand, the Germans would have access to their own domestically produced arms, as well as material produced around the Pakt.
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Nukes
The nuclear option was never off the table. Both are nuclear armed nations, but to lump them into the same category is ludicrous. Russia by the mid-70's has at most five to ten nukes, mostly low-yield, with the first one coming only in 1972. There's no way they can mass-produce nukes with most of their experts dead or emigrated, and with an industry that is a shadow of the USSR's. Germany, on the other hand, has tens of thousands of various tonnage, and even if most are in disrepair or disuse, they still have orders of magnitude more.
Although I think a nuclear exchange is highly unlikely, someone pointed out in the last post that Germany can and most likely would use tactical nukes if pushed far enough, and I agree to an extent. Where I disagree with most on this sub is 1) When they'd use one and 2) The response. So, here's a scenario I want to propose :-
1) When - Moskowien is a money sink, and largely useless as anything more than a buffer state, at least that is what most of the sub thinks. I think it's worth more, but Moskowien is still worth less than the other three RK's. If the Russians begin to threaten Ostland, Ukraine or the Caucasus, I can definitely see Germany consider the nuclear option, issuing threats. If Russia pushes too far, off go 10 low-yield tactical nukes to turn a few field armies into a smouldering crater in the ground.
2) The response - Russia, of course, would be furious. Off goes the entire Russian arsenal in response. A few get intercepted, three or four proceed to turn a few frontline cities in Ostland or Ukraine to ash (realistically the Russian's don't have long range capabilities to hit Berlin or Vienna only six years after reunification). Well done, the Russians have no more nukes left, and Germany is PISSED.
A few people think this would spur an all-out OFN and CPS response, but I ask the question - will the US and/or Japan really want to start an all-out nuclear war over a few low-yield nukes in a country that wasn't even on the map ten years ago? More likely there would be widespread condemnation of the Reich, with the OFN, CPS, Italy and even some Pakt nations embargoing and diplomatically isolating Germany, but no all-out nuclear war.
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Well, that's it. Personally, my opinion from last time stands. Russia's best chance is to strike fast and hard, capitalising on a moment of weakness, and keeping their aims limited to Moskowien and the Caucasus. If the war drags on, Germany just gets stronger as the Russians lose momentum, and a war of attrition would be disastrous.
This is just my analysis, and all this is subjective. I'd love to know what you guys think. Perhaps next week, I'll analyse in detail the industrial and logistical situations of each side.
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2023.06.09 00:12 Ancient_Ad_8634 H: Great Armour Pieces W: Offers and someone to give them a home!

H: Great Armour Pieces W: Offers and someone to give them a home! submitted by Ancient_Ad_8634 to Market76 [link] [comments]


2023.06.09 00:10 CLEBot [Game Thread] Red Sox (31-31) @ Guardians (28-33) - June 8, 2023

Red Sox (31-31) @ Guardians (28-33)

First Pitch: 7:10 PM at Progressive Field
Team Starter TV Radio
Red Sox Matt Dermody (0-0, -.-- ERA) NESN WEEI, WAMG (ES)
Guardians Aaron Civale (1-1, 2.04 ERA) BSGL WMMS
Game Preview
Sub Rules Message the Mods 2023 Streaming Information

Line Score - Bases empty, 0 Outs, Bottom of the 7th

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E LOB
BOS 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 2 5 0 7
CLE 1 0 2 0 0 5 8 12 0 4

Box Score

CLE AB R H RBI BB SO BA
LF Kwan 3 1 1 0 0 0 .256
SS Rosario, A 4 0 0 0 0 0 .233
3B Ramírez, Jo 4 3 3 4 0 1 .268
1B Naylor, J 2 1 1 0 1 1 .273
DH Bell 3 1 1 0 0 0 .232
2B Gimenez 3 1 2 2 0 0 .246
CF Straw 3 1 1 1 0 0 .234
RF Brennan 3 0 1 1 0 0 .262
C Gallagher 3 0 2 0 0 0 .145
CLE IP H R ER BB SO P-S ERA
Civale 5.2 4 2 2 2 3 93-61 2.31
Karinchak 0.1 0 0 0 1 0 9-4 3.71
De Los Santos, E 1.0 1 0 0 1 2 15-9 3.38
BOS AB R H RBI BB SO BA
CF Duran, Ja 4 0 2 1 0 0 .280
LF Yoshida 4 0 1 0 0 0 .316
DH Turner, J 4 0 0 0 0 1 .256
3B Devers 2 0 0 0 1 0 .244
1B Casas 3 1 1 1 0 2 .196
RF Refsnyder 1 0 0 0 2 0 .284
2B Arroyo 3 0 0 0 0 1 .250
C McGuire 2 1 1 0 1 0 .289
SS Hernández, K 3 0 0 0 0 1 .225
BOS IP H R ER BB SO P-S ERA
Dermody, M 4.0 4 3 3 1 1 76-45 6.75
Kluber 2.0 8 5 5 0 1 44-30 6.94

Scoring Plays

Inning Event Score
B1 Jose Ramirez homers (7) on a line drive to left field. 1-0
B3 Jose Ramirez homers (8) on a fly ball to center field. Steven Kwan scores. 3-0
T5 Jarren Duran singles on a line drive to left fielder Steven Kwan. Reese McGuire scores. Jarren Duran to 2nd. 3-1
T6 Triston Casas homers (7) on a fly ball to right field. 3-2
B6 Jose Ramirez homers (9) on a fly ball to right field. 4-2
B6 Andres Gimenez doubles (11) on a ground ball to right fielder Rob Refsnyder. Josh Naylor scores. Josh Bell scores. 6-2
B6 Myles Straw triples (2) on a line drive to center fielder Jarren Duran. Andres Gimenez scores. 7-2
B6 Will Brennan singles on a sharp line drive to right fielder Rob Refsnyder. Myles Straw scores. Will Brennan out at 2nd on the throw, right fielder Rob Refsnyder to shortstop Enrique Hernandez. 8-2

Highlights

Description Length Video
Bullpen availability for Boston, June 8 vs Guardians 0:07 Video
Bullpen availability for Cleveland, June 8 vs Red Sox 0:07 Video
Fielding alignment for Cleveland, June 8 vs Red Sox 0:11 Video
Fielding alignment for Boston, June 8 vs Guardians 0:11 Video
Starting lineups for Red Sox at Guardians - June 8, 2023 0:09 Video
José Ramírez's home run through bat tracking data 0:09 Video
Measuring the stats on José Ramírez's home run 0:12 Video
Measuring the stats on José Ramírez's home run 0:14 Video
José Ramírez's home run through bat tracking data 0:09 Video
Breaking down Matt Dermody's pitches 0:08 Video
Breaking down Aaron Civale's pitches 0:08 Video
Aaron Civale's outing against the Red Sox 0:25 Video
Measuring the stats on Triston Casas's home run 0:18 Video
Analyzing Triston Casas's home run through bat tracking 0:09 Video
Breaking down José Ramírez's home run 0:16 Video
Aaron Civale fans Triston Casas looking the 1st 0:07 Video
José Ramírez slices a solo home run to left field 0:29 Video
Kiké Hernandez leaps out of his shoes to make a catch 0:13 Video
José Ramírez connects on his 200th career home run 0:29 Video
Matt Dermody fans Josh Naylor looking in the 3rd 0:07 Video
Jarren Duran laces an RBI single to left field 0:25 Video
Triston Casas skies a solo home run to right field 0:29 Video
José Ramírez shows off his arm to make a stellar play 0:59 Video
José Ramírez launches his third home run of the night 0:36 Video
Andrés Giménez rips a two-run double to right field 0:33 Video
Myles Straw crushes an RBI triple to center field 0:27 Video
Will Brennan laces an RBI single to right field 0:38 Video
Visualizing José Ramírez's swing using bat tracking technology 0:09 Video
Updated at 9:13 PM.

Streams
Tracker MLB.com Game Graph
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2023.06.08 23:52 ArtyomPidrovich New acc. 𝖩𝗈𝗄𝖾𝗌 + 𝖨𝗋𝗈𝗇𝗒.

  1. The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race. They have greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who live in “advanced” countries, but they have destabilized society, have made life unfulfilling, have subjected human beings to indignities, have led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and have inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology will worsen the situation. It will certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it will probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in “advanced” countries.

  1. The industrial-technological system may survive or it may break down. If it survives, it MAY eventually achieve a low level of physical and psychological suffering, but only after passing through a long and very painful period of adjustment and only at the cost of permanently reducing human beings and many other living organisms to engineered products and mere cogs in the social machine. Furthermore, if the system survives, the consequences will be inevitable: There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy.

  1. If the system breaks down the consequences will still be very painful. But the bigger the system grows the more disastrous the results of its breakdown will be, so if it is to break down it had best break down sooner rather than later.

  1. We therefore advocate a revolution against the industrial system. This revolution may or may not make use of violence; it may be sudden or it may be a relatively gradual process spanning a few decades. We can’t predict any of that. But we do outline in a very general way the measures that those who hate the industrial system should take in order to prepare the way for a revolution against that form of society. This is not to be a POLITICAL revolution. Its object will be to overthrow not governments but the economic and technological basis of the present society.

  1. In this article we give attention to only some of the negative developments that have grown out of the industrial-technological system. Other such developments we mention only briefly or ignore altogether. This does not mean that we regard these other developments as unimportant. For practical reasons we have to confine our discussion to areas that have received insufficient public attention or in which we have something new to say. For example, since there are well-developed environmental and wilderness movements, we have written very little about environmental degradation or the destruction of wild nature, even though we consider these to be highly important.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MODERN LEFTISM

  1. Almost everyone will agree that we live in a deeply troubled society. One of the most widespread manifestations of the craziness of our world is leftism, so a discussion of the psychology of leftism can serve as an introduction to the discussion of the problems of modern society in general.

  1. But what is leftism? During the first half of the 20th century leftism could have been practically identified with socialism. Today the movement is fragmented and it is not clear who can properly be called a leftist. When we speak of leftists in this article we have in mind mainly socialists, collectivists, “politically correct” types, feminists, gay and disability activists, animal rights activists and the like. But not everyone who is associated with one of these movements is a leftist. What we are trying to get at in discussing leftism is not so much movement or an ideology as a psychological type, or rather a collection of related types. Thus, what we mean by “leftism” will emerge more clearly in the course of our discussion of leftist psychology. (Also, see paragraphs 227-230.)

  1. Even so, our conception of leftism will remain a good deal less clear than we would wish, but there doesn’t seem to be any remedy for this. All we are trying to do here is indicate in a rough and approximate way the two psychological tendencies that we believe are the main driving force of modern leftism. We by no means claim to be telling the WHOLE truth about leftist psychology. Also, our discussion is meant to apply to modern leftism only. We leave open the question of the extent to which our discussion could be applied to the leftists of the 19th and early 20th centuries.

  1. The two psychological tendencies that underlie modern leftism we call “feelings of inferiority” and “oversocialization.” Feelings of inferiority are characteristic of modern leftism as a whole, while oversocialization is characteristic only of a certain segment of modern leftism; but this segment is highly influential.

FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY

  1. By “feelings of inferiority” we mean not only inferiority feelings in the strict sense but a whole spectrum of related traits; low self-esteem, feelings of powerlessness, depressive tendencies, defeatism, guilt, self- hatred, etc. We argue that modern leftists tend to have some such feelings (possibly more or less repressed) and that these feelings are decisive in determining the direction of modern leftism.

  1. When someone interprets as derogatory almost anything that is said about him (or about groups with whom he identifies) we conclude that he has inferiority feelings or low self-esteem. This tendency is pronounced among minority rights activists, whether or not they belong to the minority groups whose rights they defend. They are hypersensitive about the words used to designate minorities and about anything that is said concerning minorities. The terms “negro,” “oriental,” “handicapped” or “chick” for an African, an Asian, a disabled person or a woman originally had no derogatory connotation. “Broad” and “chick” were merely the feminine equivalents of “guy,” “dude” or “fellow.” The negative connotations have been attached to these terms by the activists themselves. Some animal rights activists have gone so far as to reject the word “pet” and insist on its replacement by “animal companion.” Leftish anthropologists go to great lengths to avoid saying anything about primitive peoples that could conceivably be interpreted as negative. They want to replace the world “primitive” by “nonliterate.” They seem almost paranoid about anything that might suggest that any primitive culture is inferior to our own. (We do not mean to imply that primitive cultures ARE inferior to ours. We merely point out the hypersensitivity of leftish anthropologists.)

  1. Those who are most sensitive about “politically incorrect” terminology are not the average black ghetto- dweller, Asian immigrant, abused woman or disabled person, but a minority of activists, many of whom do not even belong to any “oppressed” group but come from privileged strata of society. Political correctness has its stronghold among university professors, who have secure employment with comfortable salaries, and the majority of whom are heterosexual white males from middle- to upper-middle-class families.

  1. Many leftists have an intense identification with the problems of groups that have an image of being weak (women), defeated (American Indians), repellent (homosexuals) or otherwise inferior. The leftists themselves feel that these groups are inferior. They would never admit to themselves that they have such feelings, but it is precisely because they do see these groups as inferior that they identify with their problems. (We do not mean to suggest that women, Indians, etc. ARE inferior; we are only making a point about leftist psychology.)

  1. Feminists are desperately anxious to prove that women are as strong and as capable as men. Clearly they are nagged by a fear that women may NOT be as strong and as capable as men.

  1. Leftists tend to hate anything that has an image of being strong, good and successful. They hate America, they hate Western civilization, they hate white males, they hate rationality. The reasons that leftists give for hating the West, etc. clearly do not correspond with their real motives. They SAY they hate the West because it is warlike, imperialistic, sexist, ethnocentric and so forth, but where these same faults appear in socialist countries or in primitive cultures, the leftist finds excuses for them, or at best he GRUDGINGLY admits that they exist; whereas he ENTHUSIASTICALLY points out (and often greatly exaggerates) these faults where they appear in Western civilization. Thus it is clear that these faults are not the leftist’s real motive for hating America and the West. He hates America and the West because they are strong and successful.

  1. Words like “self-confidence,” “self-reliance,” “initiative,” “enterprise,” “optimism,” etc., play little role in the liberal and leftist vocabulary. The leftist is anti-individualistic, pro-collectivist. He wants society to solve everyone’s problems for them, satisfy everyone’s needs for them, take care of them. He is not the sort of person who has an inner sense of confidence in his ability to solve his own problems and satisfy his own needs. The leftist is antagonistic to the concept of competition because, deep inside, he feels like a loser.

  1. Art forms that appeal to modern leftish intellectuals tend to focus on sordidness, defeat and despair, or else they take an orgiastic tone, throwing off rational control as if there were no hope of accomplishing anything through rational calculation and all that was left was to immerse oneself in the sensations of the moment.

  1. Modern leftish philosophers tend to dismiss reason, science, objective reality and to insist that everything is culturally relative. It is true that one can ask serious questions about the foundations of scientific knowledge and about how, if at all, the concept of objective reality can be defined. But it is obvious that modern leftish philosophers are not simply cool-headed logicians systematically analyzing the foundations of knowledge. They are deeply involved emotionally in their attack on truth and reality. They attack these concepts because of their own psychological needs. For one thing, their attack is an outlet for hostility, and, to the extent that it is successful, it satisfies the drive for power. More importantly, the leftist hates science and rationality because they classify certain beliefs as true (i.e., successful, superior) and other beliefs as false (i.e., failed, inferior). The leftist’s feelings of inferiority run so deep that he cannot tolerate any classification of some things as successful or superior and other things as failed or inferior. This also underlies the rejection by many leftists of the concept of mental illness and of the utility of IQ tests. Leftists are antagonistic to genetic explanations of human abilities or behavior because such explanations tend to make some persons appear superior or inferior to others. Leftists prefer to give society the credit or blame for an individual’s ability or lack of it. Thus if a person is “inferior” it is not his fault, but society’s, because he has not been brought up properly.

  1. The leftist is not typically the kind of person whose feelings of inferiority make him a braggart, an egotist, a bully, a self-promoter, a ruthless competitor. This kind of person has not wholly lost faith in himself. He has a deficit in his sense of power and self-worth, but he can still conceive of himself as having the capacity to be strong, and his efforts to make himself strong produce his unpleasant behavior. [1] But the leftist is too far gone for that. His feelings of inferiority are so ingrained that he cannot conceive of himself as individually strong and valuable. Hence the collectivism of the leftist. He can feel strong only as a member of a large organization or a mass movement with which he identifies himself.

  1. Notice the masochistic tendency of leftist tactics. Leftists protest by lying down in front of vehicles, they intentionally provoke police or racists to abuse them, etc. These tactics may often be effective, but many leftists use them not as a means to an end but because they PREFER masochistic tactics. Self-hatred is a leftist trait.

  1. Leftists may claim that their activism is motivated by compassion or by moral principles, and moral principle does play a role for the leftist of the oversocialized type. But compassion and moral principle cannot be the main motives for leftist activism. Hostility is too prominent a component of leftist behavior; so is the drive for power. Moreover, much leftist behavior is not rationally calculated to be of benefit to the people whom the leftists claim to be trying to help. For example, if one believes that affirmative action is good for black people, does it make sense to demand affirmative action in hostile or dogmatic terms? Obviously it would be more productive to take a diplomatic and conciliatory approach that would make at least verbal and symbolic concessions to white people who think that affirmative action discriminates against them. But leftist activists do not take such an approach because it would not satisfy their emotional needs. Helping black people is not their real goal. Instead, race problems serve as an excuse for them to express their own hostility and frustrated need for power. In doing so they actually harm black people, because the activists’ hostile attitude toward the white majority tends to intensify race hatred.

  1. If our society had no social problems at all, the leftists would have to INVENT problems in order to provide themselves with an excuse for making a fuss.

  1. We emphasize that the foregoing does not pretend to be an accurate description of everyone who might be considered a leftist. It is only a rough indication of a general tendency of leftism.

OVERSOCIALIZATION

  1. Psychologists use the term “socialization” to designate the process by which children are trained to think and act as society demands. A person is said to be well socialized if he believes in and obeys the moral code of his society and fits in well as a functioning part of that society. It may seem senseless to say that many leftists are oversocialized, since the leftist is perceived as a rebel. Nevertheless, the position can be defended. Many leftists are not such rebels as they seem.

  1. The moral code of our society is so demanding that no one can think, feel and act in a completely moral way. For example, we are not supposed to hate anyone, yet almost everyone hates somebody at some time or other, whether he admits it to himself or not. Some people are so highly socialized that the attempt to think, feel and act morally imposes a severe burden on them. In order to avoid feelings of guilt, they continually have to deceive themselves about their own motives and find moral explanations for feelings and actions that in reality have a non-moral origin. We use the term “oversocialized” to describe such people. [2]

  1. Oversocialization can lead to low self-esteem, a sense of powerlessness, defeatism, guilt, etc. One of the most important means by which our society socializes children is by making them feel ashamed of behavior or speech that is contrary to society’s expectations. If this is overdone, or if a particular child is especially susceptible to such feelings, he ends by feeling ashamed of HIMSELF. Moreover the thought and the behavior of the oversocialized person are more restricted by society’s expectations than are those of the lightly socialized person. The majority of people engage in a significant amount of naughty behavior. They lie, they commit petty thefts, they break traffic laws, they goof off at work, they hate someone, they say spiteful things or they use some underhanded trick to get ahead of the other guy. The oversocialized person cannot do these things, or if he does do them he generates in himself a sense of shame and self-hatred. The oversocialized person cannot even experience, without guilt, thoughts or feelings that are contrary to the accepted morality; he cannot think “unclean” thoughts. And socialization is not just a matter of morality; we are socialized to conform to many norms of behavior that do not fall under the heading of morality. Thus the oversocialized person is kept on a psychological leash and spends his life running on rails that society has laid down for him. In many oversocialized people this results in a sense of constraint and powerlessness that can be a severe hardship. We suggest that oversocialization is among the more serious cruelties that human beings inflict on one another.

  1. We argue that a very important and influential segment of the modern left is oversocialized and that their oversocialization is of great importance in determining the direction of modern leftism. Leftists of the oversocialized type tend to be intellectuals or members of the upper-middle class. Notice that university intellectuals [3] constitute the most highly socialized segment of our society and also the most left-wing segment.

  1. The leftist of the oversocialized type tries to get off his psychological leash and assert his autonomy by rebelling. But usually he is not strong enough to rebel against the most basic values of society. Generally speaking, the goals of today’s leftists are NOT in conflict with the accepted morality. On the contrary, the left takes an accepted moral principle, adopts it as its own, and then accuses mainstream society of violating that principle. Examples: racial equality, equality of the sexes, helping poor people, peace as opposed to war, nonviolence generally, freedom of expression, kindness to animals. More fundamentally, the duty of the individual to serve society and the duty of society to take care of the individual. All these have been deeply rooted values of our society (or at least of its middle and upper classes [4] for a long time. These values are explicitly or implicitly expressed or presupposed in most of the material presented to us by the mainstream communications media and the educational system. Leftists, especially those of the oversocialized type, usually do not rebel against these principles but justify their hostility to society by claiming (with some degree of truth) that society is not living up to these principles.

  1. Here is an illustration of the way in which the oversocialized leftist shows his real attachment to the conventional attitudes of our society while pretending to be in rebellion against it. Many leftists push for affirmative action, for moving black people into high-prestige jobs, for improved education in black schools and more money for such schools; the way of life of the black “underclass” they regard as a social disgrace. They want to integrate the black man into the system, make him a business executive, a lawyer, a scientist just like upper-middle-class white people. The leftists will reply that the last thing they want is to make the black man into a copy of the white man; instead, they want to preserve African American culture. But in what does this preservation of African American culture consist? It can hardly consist in anything more than eating black-style food, listening to black-style music, wearing black-style clothing and going to a black- style church or mosque. In other words, it can express itself only in superficial matters. In all ESSENTIAL respects most leftists of the oversocialized type want to make the black man conform to white, middle-class ideals. They want to make him study technical subjects, become an executive or a scientist, spend his life climbing the status ladder to prove that black people are as good as white. They want to make black fathers “responsible,” they want black gangs to become nonviolent, etc. But these are exactly the values of the industrial-technological system. The system couldn’t care less what kind of music a man listens to, what kind of clothes he wears or what religion he believes in as long as he studies in school, holds a respectable job, climbs the status ladder, is a “responsible” parent, is nonviolent and so forth. In effect, however much he may deny it, the oversocialized leftist wants to integrate the black man into the system and make him adopt its values.

  1. We certainly do not claim that leftists, even of the oversocialized type, NEVER rebel against the fundamental values of our society. Clearly they sometimes do. Some oversocialized leftists have gone so far as to rebel against one of modern society’s most important principles by engaging in physical violence. By their own account, violence is for them a form of “liberation.” In other words, by committing violence they break through the psychological restraints that have been trained into them. Because they are oversocialized these restraints have been more confining for them than for others; hence their need to break free of them. But they usually justify their rebellion in terms of mainstream values. If they engage in violence they claim to be fighting against racism or the like.

  1. We realize that many objections could be raised to the foregoing thumbnail sketch of leftist psychology. The real situation is complex, and anything like a complete description of it would take several volumes even if the necessary data were available. We claim only to have indicated very roughly the two most important tendencies in the psychology of modern leftism.

  1. The problems of the leftist are indicative of the problems of our society as a whole. Low self-esteem, depressive tendencies and defeatism are not restricted to the left. Though they are especially noticeable in the left, they are widespread in our society. And today’s society tries to socialize us to a greater extent than any previous society. We are even told by experts how to eat, how to exercise, how to make love, how to raise our kids and so forth.

THE POWER PROCESS

  1. Human beings have a need (probably based in biology) for something that we will call the “power process.” This is closely related to the need for power (which is widely recognized) but is not quite the same thing. The power process has four elements. The three most clear-cut of these we call goal, effort and attainment of goal. (Everyone needs to have goals whose attainment requires effort, and needs to succeed in attaining at least some of his goals.) The fourth element is more difficult to define and may not be necessary for everyone. We call it autonomy and will discuss it later (paragraphs 42-44).

  1. Consider the hypothetical case of a man who can have anything he wants just by wishing for it. Such a man has power, but he will develop serious psychological problems. At first he will have a lot of fun, but by and by he will become acutely bored and demoralized. Eventually he may become clinically depressed. History shows that leisured aristocracies tend to become decadent. This is not true of fighting aristocracies that have to struggle to maintain their power. But leisured, secure aristocracies that have no need to exert themselves usually become bored, hedonistic and demoralized, even though they have power. This shows that power is not enough. One must have goals toward which to exercise one’s power.

  1. Everyone has goals; if nothing else, to obtain the physical necessities of life: food, water and whatever clothing and shelter are made necessary by the climate. But the leisured aristocrat obtains these things without effort. Hence his boredom and demoralization.

  1. Nonattainment of important goals results in death if the goals are physical necessities, and in frustration if nonattainment of the goals is compatible with survival. Consistent failure to attain goals throughout life results in defeatism, low self-esteem or depression.
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2023.06.08 23:30 Familiar-Canary4102 5 weeks of ADF - motivation!

5 weeks of ADF - motivation!
So I have been doing ADF for around 5 weeks now. I had been slowly losing weight through generally doing more exercise and eating better but seeing a 39.9% body fat when I did InBody 6 weeks ago was a kick into trying alternate day fasting.
Well the results have been amazing!
I do a lot of shift work that’s all over the place & my work can be emotionally and physically demanding so it’s been tricky trying to work out how to fit ADF around that. I have only just been able to hit 3 x 36h fasts this week.
Still the results have been amazing! Visceral fat level has gone from 13 to 11. Percentage body fat from 39.9 to 37.1. A healthier waist-to-hip ratio. A couple of cm off every body part.
I have lost some muscle mass but I also haven’t done any exercise since starting ADF, so I expect it to be more related to that & am reintroducing gym now.
I still have a long way to go but these results from only 5 weeks of imperfect ADF is so motivating! It really works. Onwards and upwards!
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