Hello all,
Just completed 4 days of in-person visits in NYC shopping for an engagement ring and thought I'd share my experience (as many of your posts helped me). Please know I am not an expert so just sharing my personal experience.
I met with 6 companies and learned a lot. In addition I also shopped at numerous online retailers. All the companies showed me eye-clean sparkly looking mined diamonds. However, I learned the industry does not provide enough information for us to truly make an informed decision to compare and contrast the diamonds and to ensure we're getting good value for the diamond we end up purchasing. The reality is, most consumers don't seem to care. They buy based on carat size, setting type, price, and sparkle. For those that care more, internet research discusses the 4 C's (usually described in a report from a grading company like GIA or similar). But sadly, this report does not provide all the information required to identify a sparkly mined diamond.
They allow you to compare and contrast in a controlled setting (in-store with fancy lighting), against a few other diamonds (also controlled). If you have a favorite diamond from one store and want to contrast it against another (or against one online), you are unable to do so. Only seeing diamonds side by side, without the controlled lighting, would we be able to truly see the possible difference in color tint and sparkle.
However, there are add'l reports and tools that allow you to ascertain how sparkly your diamond will perform - but almost none of the stores provide these reports. Some of the online retailers do - but they only provide some, not all, of these reports.
Finally, because consumers only care about carat size, setting type, price, and sparkle the cutters (who cut the raw diamonds) are incentivized not to create perfect sparkly cuts without inclusions, but to keep as much of the raw material as possible, which results in many of these diamonds have inclusions, clouds, and angles that do not optimize the sparkle of the diamond (but do leave them a higher carat size) which is what consumers (and retailers want). Retailers want this because they know 2 things... they can charge more for larger stones, and they can sell stones that aren't perfect to consumers since they don't provide us with enough info to make an informed decision. The result is what I found when shopping. Almost every retailer trots out diamonds that appear sparkly and pretty - but have significant flaws (which are not generally noticeable to the naked eye - but do reduce the shine nonetheless and would be more apparent if shown side by side in natural light).
At a bare minimum, the reports one should look at are GIA Report, Holloway Cut Report, and the Gemex Light Performance Report. Most retailers do not provide these reports unless asked. One must ask, if the diamonds they are showing rank as good on these reports, why would they withhold this information? It seems obvious to me they withhold it because the diamonds we are shown do not rank well on the reports. And without data, one is left to choose a diamond solely based on their "eye" and budget, which will not get you the highest quality diamond at the price you can afford.
When in store, optimally, you also want to do 3 things.
1- Look at the diamond through am (Idealscope) hearts and arrows viewer to make sure the hearts and arrows are clean and present (one can be purchased for ~$15 if you want to bring your own). But, imo, any retailer who doesn't have one sitting there for you to use, is obviously showing you diamonds that will not pass this visual inspection.
2- Use an ASET Scope or other light scope viewer to identify how much "bleed" the diamond has. That is, how much light is refracted back to the eye - vs how much light passes through the diamond (and not back to the eye). This will help you ascertain the brilliance/sparkle of the diamond. You can buy/bring your own, but again, any retailer not offering this knows the diamonds they are showing you won't allow their diamond to grade high.
3- Look at the diamonds side by side, over something white, in natural light (put your hand over the bright lights the store has). See from the top if the sparkle differs and see from the side if you can see a yellow looking tint. This may prove difficult if you cannot sufficiently block their bright light and use natural light (which is how you'll be looking at the diamond through your life when it's on your finger.
If you use all the tools above you'll be more equipped to make an informed decision. Now, sadly, after doing all the above, I'm still not 100% confident I received the best diamond at the best price. I am however, more confident I received an excellent cut, sparkly diamond, in the largest size for my budget. In fact of the 24+ diamonds I saw, only 3 passed the tests above - and odds are I would've ended up with one of those rather than the one I bought. So at the very least I ended up with one of the 3 and put the odds in my favor that I wasn't as ripped off as I would've been.
Another thing to consider is your setting. Setting prices (for the exact same setting) were all over the place (from a low of $850 to a high of $3,800). Again, these were for near identical settings. This is another trick... a store may appear to be giving you a deal on a diamond - but once you include the setting price - you end up not saving at all (or vice versa).
On to the reviews. Budget was $20k all in, incl setting, taxes, and shipping/insurance. Round brilliant natural mined diamond. Setting 14k yellow gold 4 prong pave, and thus my color grade to optimize size was ~I (for an excellent stone any of the near colorless options (G-J) will look white next to yellow gold so figured no need to pay more for a colorless grade. Based on my budget, stones I was shown were in the 1.8-2.2 carat range.
Lauren B Jewelry:
(i) Showed 4 eye clean diamonds within my budget. Did not provide any reports alongside the diamonds. However, upon request, did provide the GIA reports. Did not offer any add'l reports and did not provide me with a hearts/arrows ideal-scope or ASET viewer in store.
(ii) Setting price was $2,100 (14k)
My take: Excellent friendly in-store service. Diamonds shown were the lowest quality of any I saw during my visit (as it appears to stay within my budget and size request they had to drop down to SI level) GIA reports and loupe confirmed a variety of inclusions and clouds. Settings were some of the most beautiful however and were priced on the lower end of the setting prices I received.
Jangmi Jewelry:
(i) Showed me 3 eye clean diamonds with GIA reports provided without asking. Showed me stones through hearts and arrows viewer without asking. Provided Holloway Cut reports after meeting upon request. Claimed Gemex reports are redundant and not required once someone has seen the HCA Cut report.
(ii) Setting price quoted at $2,800 (14k, but quote includes adding pave to prongs which may have increased price slightly).
My take: Friendly service, although English was 2nd language. Diamonds were priced competitively however GIA and Holloway showed only average stones (with the better GIA report having a worse Holloway score and the worse GIA report having a better Holloway score). They had a hearts and arrows viewer in-store and the stones did have them (to my untrained eye). However. without a Gemex and ASET viewer it was impossible for me to truly identify the sparkle/brilliance of their stones. It is ultimately possible the stones are above average, however, I was not provided the tools to corroborate this.
Soho Gem:
(i) Showed me 5 eye clean diamonds with GIA reports alongside (without asking). Would not provide Holloway Cut or Gemex reports but did offer to have me come back to the store to view the diamonds through their ASET viewer as well as through an Ideal-Scope. This was not offered to me while I was in-store.
(ii) Setting quoted at $3,400 (18k). 18k increased setting price slightly as well as pave around basket.
My take: Friendly in-store service. The specs of the diamond I liked the most were similar to the stone I ultimately chose. It is possible had I been willing to trek back to the store to see the stones through the ASET viewer and Ideal-Scope the stone may have proved excellent in terms of light leakage and hearts and arrows. But without the add'l HCA and Gemex reports, I'd have lacked the information to truly make an informed decision. Further their diamond was $1,300 higher - so it seemed a waste to go through the effort only to see a diamond that matched the specs of the diamond I bought. Plus their setting was significantly more expensive (even when taking 18k into consideration) and they required a 50% deposit to begin.
Ring Concierge:
(i) Showed me 3 eye clean diamonds. Included GIA reports but would not offer add'l reports calling them "unnecessary as GIA certified diamonds with a cut grade of triple excellent... will have maximum brilliance". She claimed any add'l reports function as a "sales/marketing technique".
(ii) Setting quoted at $3,600 (14k). They do however offer the thinnest band at 1.5mm which no other retailer would build (thinnest anyone else would go was 1.8mm).
My take: Friendly in-store service. However, setting prices were the highest of any retailer and when a customer asks for reports on physics/facts only to be told these are sales/marketing techniques, my antenna go way up. She knows (or should know) that not all of GIA's excellent cut diamonds are optimal in terms of brilliance/fire/scintillation and light leakage. Alongside their high setting prices this store was a hard pass. But ahhh, those beautiful settings.
Frank Darling:
(i) created a 4 diamond flight for me to see in store.
My take: Prior to the meeting I called to ask if they would provide any of the reports described herein and they said they do not provide any of the reports, or ASET or hearts/diamond viewers, so I cancelled the meeting. No point in wasting everyone's time if I will not be provided with enough data to make an informed decision.
I.D. Jewelers (Yekutiel Davidov):
(i) showed me 1 stone in-store (and had another queued up for the following day). Provided GIA report alongside the stone and walked me through minimum specs of the GIA report (i.e., showed me how to weed out certain stones immediately, such as what depth % is optimal, what fluorescence is acceptable, etc). Provided Holloway Cut Report and Gemex report via request.
(ii) Setting quoted at $850-$1,100 depending on 14k or 18k gold preference.
My take: Super friendly and knowledgeable service. The diamond graded very well on all 3 reports but the diamond price was on the higher side. However, with the lowest setting price of all the retailers, the total net price was the same as the others and within budget. Only required $1k down. Ultimately was my 2nd favorite diamond. Would've been great to see the diamond through an ASET or Light Scope Viewer but decided not to as I found another slightly larger diamond that passed all the tests.
David S Diamonds:
(i) showed me 2 in-store diamonds. Provided all the reports and viewers described herein. Also provided training as to why I needed all the reports and viewers (full disclosure - this is the store that explained why I needed all the reports and viewers described herein). So obviously he'd provide everything.
(ii) Setting quoted at $950 (14k).
My take: Very friendly and patient in-store service generous with their time. Provided training on how to buy a diamond and implored me to go back out and to the retailers and shop with my new knowledge (before buying). Showed me a diamond I ultimately bought (2.03 carat, J, VVS2, GIA certified, excellent Gemex scores, excellent under light scope, clean hearts and arrows). Saved me ~$2,200-$3,500 vs the other stores with excellent confidence that the stone I bought is as good as it can get within my budget and specs.
James Allen:
Also shopped online at James Allen and even looked at the "competitor" diamonds that the Holloway Report showed once I ran that report. James Allen's True Hearts competitive diamond (with similar specs and grades) was $5,500 more than the diamond I purchased. And this from the "low cost" online retailer without a storefront.
Other retailers: Kamni, R&R Jewelry and NYC Wholesale Diamonds could not accommodate in-person meetings the week I was in town so I couldn't asses them.
To sum up, if someone wanted me to recommend them a place to start, I'd start with David S Diamonds to get the learning he provides. Then once you have a diamond and price you like from him - go to Yekutiel at I.D. Jewelers and see if he can source something similar at a similar (or better) price. This way you'll have a few options to choose from. You can also double check either of the diamonds you found vs James Allen (or Blue Nile) once you pull the Holloway Cut Report (or have David or Yekutiel provide you the Rapport pricing for the diamonds they are showing). This may give you some confidence that you're getting a decent value/price.
If I had to start this process over again, I would not visit any of the diamond stores that have storefronts and significant overhead - I discovered many of them are Instagram stores - selling much lower quality diamonds for the same price because they are popular among the IG crowd . Further, from my limited experience, their settings are way overpriced in comparison and their deposit policies (generally 50% down) are absurd. After all they haven't given you the diamond yet... all you should be required to pay for is the setting.
Finally, please know I am not a diamond expert, and am just a noob who is sharing their learnings over a very small period and very small sample size. I'm simply sharing what I learned and if it helps someone, great. If not - feel free to ignore.

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this, but, well, where else do I put it?
Background: My dad (as well as me and my entire family) are Christians. My dad and I aren't sure what we think of paranormal activities, though, like ghosts and the like. My grandfather on my mom's side has had a few encounters with a ghost, but that's a different story. I personally believe in spirits and fae and the like, and I think he's leaning towards it too. This is actually the story that made me believe, I suppose. My dad and his friend (the two main characters of the story) are both former police officers, and were both -at least at the time- very skeptical of ghosts and such. I've never heard the friend's view of the story, as I've just never thought to ask when we do see him. This was almost twenty years ago, but the details are surprisingly clear; my dad's has only told this story a few times, but the details have never changed. He elaborated on some of them a little more as I got older, but that's about it.
Sorry for the long background, into the story!
My dad and his friend were working night shift as security at a mine in Northern Kentucky. They were at their post, which was a hill overlooking the entrance to the mine to the left and the owner's house and a lake to the right. They were just talking while they kept watch, when they both just went quiet. They were both facing towards the lake, and there was a figure standing on the bank.
The lake was surrounded by woods, because rural Kentucky, and the figure was standing just inside the tree line. All they saw of it was an outline. It looked, according to Dad, like a man with antlers, about his height (he's about average height).
Dad told me that he felt all the hair on his body stand on end, but he wasn't scared. His body was scared, but his mind wasn't. He was perfectly calm.
They were both armed, but neither of them raised their guns. Like I said, they weren't scared- or at least my dad wasn't. Not at the time, at least; they were both terrified later, but they were just perfectly calm then.
They just kind of looked at it. He knew it was looking at them, even though he could only see an outline of it.
Then, after a while, it turned and walked away into the woods.
Dad knew where it was going. The mine was built extremely close to a Native American burial site (he didn't know the name of the tribe, and we couldn't find any records of it online, but he remembers that it had at least two tribes buried there, small ones), and he just knew it was following the path to the burial site.
I asked him how he knew when he was telling me this story, and he said "Because I've walked that path."
They never saw the creature again, as far as I know, but Dad had an encounter with it later that I'll also include. It took my dad -who's the bravest man I've ever met- a couple hours to go back to that spot, and only in the daylight. He was too scared. And remember, they were both big, tough guys, former police officers who risked their lives every day. He'd faced down people double or triple his size, who could kill him if they wanted to, but he'd earned the respect of almost every inmate in that prison. He wasn't scared by much. But he was scared after that.
They went down to the spot where they'd seen the creature standing the next morning, poking around to see if they could find a trace of it. They were armed, as usual, ready to shoot it if they had to. They didn't see the creature, but what they did find was a massive hole, about two or three feet deep, right where it must've been standing. My dad stepped in the hole, for reference of how big this thing was; it had looked about his size, as mentioned above, but this hole was easily two or three feet deep, and it made my dad look like a child.
He climbed out of the hole, and they looked at each other. He told me then that, whatever that creature was, it was a lot bigger than it had looked. Eight or nine feet tall, he estimated.
Now, for the second bit! There was a group of kids -my dad referred to them as kids, in reality they were in their late teens to early twenties- who would take four wheelers out in the woods near the burial site mentioned earlier. This was completely illegal, for a variety of reasons, and there was a fence of some kind to keep people from doing exactly this.
Well, the "kids" were at it again, and they'd broken the fence. The owner called up my dad and asked him to fix it, which he agreed to.
So, he headed out down the path, the same one he'd seen the creature take, to the burial site. And the entire time, he felt like he was being watched. Not by a person, or something with malicious intent; my dad did a lot of hunting as a kid, and he knew what being watched by a predator felt like. It wasn't like that. He just knew it was the creature from before. And he just knew what it wanted, somehow.
He said "Look, I'm not here to mess with anything. I'm here to protect this place."
He never felt it again. He'd been down there a few times since, but he never felt it again.
Now, I'm a huge mythology nerd, and we have some Cherokee heritage so that was one of the things I looked into, a lot. Originally when he told me the story, he said he thought the creature was a wendigo (He thought a wendigo was a creature that shamans would summon to destroy their enemies; he'd seen pictures and heard about what they looked like and what they did, but didn't actually know the stories behind its existence). We quickly ruled out wendigo, though, because there was no way it wouldn't have attacked him the second time. Wendigos don't care what you're there for, they're spirits of hunger that just want to kill and eat. Nothing more.
So, my current theory is that it's some kind of protector spirit for the tribe buried there. It recognized that my dad wasn't there to do any sort of harm to the burial site, and left him alone. If it was a wendigo, it would've just eaten him, and I wouldn't be here to tell this.
I was wondering if anyone has any similar stories about this kind of thing, or any other ideas about what it was.

I never thought I'd be posting on Reddit ever but I really needed to get this out.
Long story short, I've been married for about 2.5 years with 2 kids (18 months and 4 months). But sometimes, it feels like 3.
My husband can be super awful about chores and time management (and other things, but I don't want to get into that). To a point that it really makes me feel a lot of regret for even getting married in the first place.
At this point, I don't see any positives about marriage. Marriage sucks. I'm supremely disenchanted about marriage.
He works shifts, and doesn't plan his time well. Right before he goes to work he would take a long shower then rush to prepare to go to work. The usual chores he does is left undone so I always have to pick up the slack. Hell, he ALWAYS takes long showers then I will have to compensate for the prep thanks to his lack of planning.
For example, we could have an appointment at 1500. He would take his super long shower at 1400. I then have to rush getting ready and we end up being late anyway cause the kids' stuff isn't ready.
For the record, I work a full time job. And with 2 kids under 2, it's like I'm working 2 full time jobs. Regardless, I still always make an effort to make sure everything is done - like laundry (washing, folding, putting away), cleaning up the bed, throwing the trash, getting the kid's bottles ready, bathing the kids, etc. If I have to wake up early, so be it. But I always make sure I plan out my day so that shit gets done.
Basically daily maintenance of the house and chores lie on my shoulders. Anything that requires responsibility is on me. Cause I can't depend on my husband much or at all.
I could ask him to do things, but they take FOREVER. That I just give up and do it myself.
Suffice to say that I am one very disenchanted wife and the regret builds day by day as I hear him say that some things are low priority items or that he needs to get in the right mood.
It's not like I've never spoken to him about it. I have. Many times. I have expressed my annoyance and my wish for him to f-ing step up. Still no change.
So yes. Regret. Who tf said marriage was worth it anw.

Note my system is a Yakima King Cobra upright rack where the front wheel slides into the brace. Car is an Older Lexus RX350 SUV so it’s about as high as a Nissan Rogue or equivalent. I grandfathered the old bike rack from my previous shorter car. Don’t cycle all that much so really trying to figure out how to use the set up I have. Even with the step ladder still struggling. 5’4 short person problems.

In many ways, I would describe myself as a fan that "knows everything yet knows nothing". I found out about BABYMETAL through reaction videos on Youtube in early 2020, and although I soon devoured all the concert footage and interviews and stories about them that I could find, I had never been blessed with the opportunity to experience them live until yesterday night in Taipei.
Before the concert, I had "followed" the 2023 Sabaton concerts and earlier Asia shows in real time, constantly checking Discord to see which songs were on the setlist, and if there was anything new or surprising. I would get excited when surprising songs like "Shanti Shanti Shanti" were announced, and hyped to see some new bangers like "Maya".
When you're at the show though, none of that matters. I paradoxically cared about the setlist more as a spectator on the internet, than when I was there in the moment experiencing it. Performed live, every song is a banger, and every song they select is the right one.
Su famously says "Don't Think, Feel" when it comes to BABYMETAL, and she's absolutely right. This idea felt somewhat abstract to me before last night, but afterwards, I truly understood what she was saying. BABYMETAL is often described as a "theatrical" performance. There are various different elements of "theater" that typically come to mind when most people use the word - acting, facial expressions, creating a sense of story and lore, suspension of disbelief, etc.
But there's something else that's a crucial part of theater - it doesn't last. It's there, and then it's gone.
Unlike movies or other forms of visual storytelling, theater performances typically are a "one-time" thing. Sure, a theater troupe might perform the same play multiple times, but each performance is unique. This is in contrast to a movie, which will always be exactly the same. Perhaps you might observe something you overlooked before, or feel differently about it at different times. But the movie itself is static and permanent, whereas every night of "Romeo and Juliet" performed 7 nights in a row is different. The slight differences in inflection, the facial expressions, the emphasis, the little mistakes... the show that you saw today is simply not identical to the show your friend saw yesterday.
This is something that affects both the actors and audience alike, and a big part of what makes theater special - when you know that it's a fleeting experience; that what you see will never be 100% replicated again (recordings are but a limited view), it primes you to focus on "feeling" and "experiencing" the show, savoring each moment for what it is because there's no time to think about it - every moment is passing you by, every second and minute. That moment Moa flashes a ridiculously charming grin, and when your eyes seem to meet, it's as if she's looking right at you and no one else in the world? Cherish that moment, because it was there, and now it isn't.
To be clear, I have nothing against people recording concerts on their phones and taking photos (as long as they're not overly obstructing the view) to share the experience as best they can, and try and preserve memories for themselves and the fanbase. But for my very first show, I decided to (perhaps selfishly) simply soak it all in and bask in the BABYMETAL experience without taking a single fancam video, and that's what helped me enjoy the show to its fullest. (I would note that it seemed there were generally fewer phones out at all times, in contrast to some European or American shows I've seen, and it generally didn't affect the viewing experience at all for me)
In a sense, all the "book-knowledge" I possessed about BABYMETAL and their songs made it easier for me to "Feel" and not "Think". I already knew when I was "supposed" to raise my fists, when to chant, and when to mosh for each song. And that brings me to the first of several points about the concert that really came to mind (I don't plan on doing a full concert recap, as in a sense, the play-by-play isn't actually that different between each performance, but what you personally see and feel is what makes it unique):
1) The audience is an integral part of the show
This is also very much a "BABYMETAL cliche", but it's also absolutely true. I don't know what it is, but it almost feels like we're compelled to be an amazingly hype crowd because we don't want to let them down, almost like we're performing for them. I'd estimate that roughly 1/4 to 1/3 of the crowd may have been from Japan, and they obviously know exactly what the crowd "should" be doing. But the Taiwanese crowd was extremely in sync, constantly cheering and jumping and yelling at the right time, giving the girls further energy, leading to my next point:
2) Perfect combustion
BABYMETAL shows are understandably criticized as being too short. There certainly are ways to pad out the length fairly easily without adding to the physical workload of the members, such as adding Kami solos and some lore videos. But personally, I think the 70 minute pedal-to-the-metal non-stop performance is really exhilarating. Both the members and the audience alike give it everything they've got, spending every last bit of energy to burst past the finish line, and you go home wiped out and satisfied. Knowing that the show would be fairly short, I was able to jump and shout and run around to my heart's content, without feeling like I needed to preserve energy. And I think this is part of what makes the live experience so good; no one's phoning it in.
3) Great mix of old and new
I like the Asia setlist very much, and I think that for a concert participant, it was extremely well-structured. For the older songs from the first album, there was a lot of crowd interaction and chanting, which is always fun. But I don't think it would be the best idea to do this for the entire show - by mixing in newer songs that had fewer sections where we felt "obligated" to do various chants and fist-pumping, the new songs from THE OTHER ONE provided a great opportunity to just stand there in awe and enjoy the music and new complex crisp choreography, before another hype classic begins and you start running around again.
4) Kami Masks
The three members were absolutely mesmerizing. Honestly, I feel that even if the Kamis weren't wearing masks, I would still be looking at Su, Moa, and Momo the entire time; I didn't want to miss a single mischievous smirk from Moa, a habitual tongue blep from Su, and the ball of energy that Momo has become. Obviously others that are more fans of the musicians will feel differently, and perhaps I would as well if I had the chance to go to multiple shows and had the luxury of "wasting" my limited (precious) attention on the Kamis, great as they are. On a related note, I saw Barone walking around the venue a few hours before the show (probably getting some refreshments or something) and it seems like absolutely no one recognized one, w hich is probably exactly what they prefer before a show.
and lastly...
5) Moa and Momo (and Yui before) are magical
I've always believed that BABYMETAL would have been quite successful even if it had been a more traditional rock/metal band with Su as a solo frontwoman. However, it was the "scream and dance" roles that really elevated BABYMETAL from "great" to "legendary". Moa/Momo/(Yui) really do have a way of making the show feel personal, in a way that can't be captured fully on camera. If I were only allowed to pick one thing when it comes to describing the difference between seeing them in person and on a Blu-ray, it would be the little details of Moa/Momo's crowd interaction. The way I see it, Su makes you want to bow down, but Moa/Momo/(Yui) are what make you want to love them. It's a perfect combination.
Random notes I found interesting/amusing
There were several people wearing frog costumes (I counted 4), I'm sure Su got a kick out of that!
During "Megitsune" it seemed that Su was having some earpiece(?) issues; she seemed to be gesturing several times for adjustment, and dashed off the stage immediately after the song was over, and there was a longer pause than usual before the next song "Iine!" began as they resolved the problem. On a related note, Su sounded amazingly good live, with very few pitch issues compared to what I've heard in fancams. I don't know if that's confirmation bias from being at the show, but I think it's fair to say that phone microphones aren't entirely reliable for capturing what you actually hear at the venue.
Earplugs, oh lord earplugs are needed. I was near the barrier in front of the "Moa" side and it felt like I was getting directly blasted by the sound (and the drums/bass in particular). But I heard from some fans in other parts of the floor that the sound was muffled or quiet at places, so I think where you were standing made quite a big difference. At any rate, protect your hearing, people! If I hadn't been wearing earplugs, I definitely could have permanently damaged my hearing; it's not worth it to go without.
All in all, 10/10, would do again.

Hello fellow redditors, as the title mentions, I want to get your advice on getting started in the UAE.
I was born here in the UAE, and had to leave after finishing high school in 2016, I came back here 2 months ago, and found a job at one of the biggest companies here in the UAE, and currently residing and working in Abu Dhabi, it pays kinda okay, but the thing is that my job requires me to move a lot, and I need a car for that. I have a driving license from my home country, in September it'll mark my 4th year of having it.
The company is in the process of opening a bank account for me with Emirates NBD, and I should be reciving both my Emirates ID and residency / working visa within the next 2 weeks, once done my bank account will be opened. Many people told me that I will get something called "Golden Chance" from driving schools here so that I can get my UAE driving license fast. Here are my questions:
1- I live in Abu Dhabi and my visa is in Dubai, do I have to go to Dubai to open a file for the driving license, or is there a way around that?
2- What is thr golden chance, and how much is it?
3- I'm still in probation period which is 6 months, when the bank called me regarding my bank account opening, I asked them whether or not it's possible to finance a car even if I'm still in my probation period, they told me yes it's possible, but I want to make sure that it's an auto-loan not a personal loan, is that true, or are they doing something that I'm not aware of?
4- What areas in Abu Dhabi has cheap accommodation “an apartment not a partition"?
5- I know that banks can be tricky here and will do almost anything to get me to take a loan that I won't be able to pay off, including banks, and the information that you have on them, what other things I have to be careful about, to stay clean and still make money instead of living in debt?

Words to feelings. We triggered each other. I offered he go to therapy as I was hearing him say things to our son about his youth. And I had a feeling there was unprocessed emotion in there somewhere.
We live out of state but lately, over holidays, I had seen the in-law family dynamics and I felt bad for my STBXH & his siblings.
Anytime I expressed a concern, I was met with him withdrawing. These are things I cannot fix. Underneath it all, he was self medicating w drugs (in secret) and had a past history w addiction.
This is my first weekend alone and it’s nice. I miss my kid, but I totally support his time w his dad and don’t worry (much).
So for as much as I wanted to make things better, I was not getting a full story or participation on his end. I was not making any of it up. I think that’s the hardest. I was lied to. I’m made up to be the bad guy but my partner ceased to contribute or provide any emotional support to me. Great dad, but declined to a poor spouse.
It was affecting me. And mostly I saw how this would be the relationship modeled for my son. 2 adults that don’t communicate, aren’t a team and the example that because an adult simply doesnt want to do something they get out of it.
There was attitude but my son and I had a great week. I was fully present for him. He got to rely on me. I regret nothing.

Demographics: female, white, large public high school in Ohio. No hooks. Income is about 170k for a family of 5, we are comfortable but cannot really afford a college education even at Ohio State.
Intended Major(s): biology
ACT/SAT/SAT II: 32 ACT (27 english, 32 science, 34 reading, 35 math), 1360 (660 english, 700 math)
UW/W GPA and Rank: 4.4 weighted, officially rank of 16/595 but school has anyone with a weighted GPA over 4.0 as valedictorian.
Coursework: 11 honors courses (english 9, english 10, english 11, algebra 1, geometry, algebra 2, precalc, modern world history, chinese 2, chinese 3, chinese 4). 11 AP courses by graduation (APUSH 4, then I just took Chem, Micro, Macro, AB, and Chinese. I am quite certain I passed them all except for Chinese. Next year I am taking BC, Stats, Psych, US Gov and Comp Gov for APs and two CE english classes. Other relevant coursework is anatomy and physiology, and I was unable to take AP bio due to scheduling conflicts.
Awards: Expected AP scholar with distinction (lol), Valedictorian/top 5% award at school, most improved in cross country.
Extracurriculars (im using my planned descriptions of the EC's thats why they're so short):
I know as a whole my extracurriculars are nothing special.

• Cross Country
  • 7th-12th grade, captain in 10th + team leader in 12th. Lead core, drills, stretches, warmups and cooldowns. Communicated to the coach on behalf of the team. Ran practice 2-3 times a week in 10th grade.
• Swim Team
  • 5th-12th grade. Was a lane leader. Participated in the training trip. Competed up to sectionals. Often stayed after practice to work on improving.
• Lifeguard ; Swim Lessons Instructor
  • 10th-until my certification expires I guess. Preform first aid duties, answer questions, check chemical levels, clean pool area. Teach private lessons.
• Digital Moderation ; Social Media Manager
  • Enforce rules, verify users, run tickets, keep a safe environment. Updated wiki often. Collaborate with team members. Organize contests. Run IG.
• XC & Track Meets (volunteering at middle school meets)
  • Volunteered at all home meets. Guided runners on course or helped organize placing for XC. Ran long jump pit for track.
• Dog Fostering
  • Fostered dogs with my family. Dog lives with us until adopted. We care for, train it, and write adoption profiles. Can be very long term (6+ months).
• Office Aid
  • Ran passes, answered the phone, made copies, contacted teachers, collected kids to bring to the office, etc. During school day.

Essays/LORs/Other:

• My commonapp essay I am planning to write about being a witness in an investigation of my old cross country coach and how it got him fired for abuse, combined with finding my love for running again. I think it will turn out pretty well.
• LOR, I think they will be decent. I am going to ask my ap chem teacher and my ap econ teacher. My econ teacher has already told me how excited he is to have me again (he also teaches ap psych) so I am pretty sure he will speak very very highly of me, chem I think will be a more typical run of the mill LOR
• Other information, will likely graduate with the honors diploma if that means anything?

​
Schools: Ohio State, Miami University, Purdue, unsure..?
I'm not even sure where else to apply, is it worth applying to somewhere more reach-like? Should I go for more targets? Ohio State and Miami are safeties for me, I would assume Purdue is a target? Any advice is appreciated or other suggestions for schools.

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Damn! The last LFIL chapter a while ago had a pretty legendary photograph moment, but this one tops it by far!
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
"Please everyone, calm yourselves. The Galactic Assembly is addressing the issue as we speak."
The crowd roiled and churned like the bubbles in a pot of boiling water. Flags waved and voices rose high into the air.
The chanting increased in fervor.
"Please!"
The Rundi struggled to raise his voice high enough to be heard over the crowd, who only grew with strength and intensity.
Commander Vir keyed his mic,
"Delta units to the GA side of the crowd, some of these protesters are looking extremely agitated. Let's make sure they don't do anything we're all going to regret.”
He stood with his back to the GA chambers, its wide arching courtyard devoid of life, except for those unfortunate Rundi ordered to carry messages from one side of the compound to the other, otherwise they tried to keep their distance from the front facade of the building and the churning mass of protesters.
White flags waved and fluttered.
Commander Vir held the energy shield with one arm, pressing it back firmly against the crowd, so they could not pass the dedicated marking point.
"Commander, the crowd over here is getting violent."
He grimaced and reached a hand down to open the line,
"Stun them and let them calm down, do NOT catch anyone else in the crossfire. We do not want this escalating."
"Yes sir."
Something pushed against his shield and he grunted, pushing back.
The white bandanna on his arm was pressed against the clear blue force field and helped to at least confuse the crowd before them.
And luckily, they would be kept too confused to get violent.
The aliens among the human protesters helped as well.
If this was on earth, things would have broken out into a riot by now, but the Drev the Tesraki and the Finnari tended to be more levelheaded when it came to these kinds of things, and they managed to reign in their humans from doing something stupid.
He closed his eyes tight for a second, praying that the GA would rethink their position.
It hurt him to watch these people struggle like this.
It just felt so strange that anyone should be here in the first place.
Beside him, Sunny had taken control of two young humans who were getting a bit more than rowdy,
"Let’s keep this a protest, and not a riot."
She growled, giving them a look that would have made anyone quell in their boots. It sort of made him half smile, Sunny was such a badass, he wanted to be more like her when he eventually grew up.
His thoughts were cut off, as the crowd churned a bit, pressing into his shield.
He keyed his mic again, prepared to go over the loudspeaker and tell them that if they didn't calm down he was going to turn this protest into a mass nap time.
He had the power to do that if things got out of hand, though he honestly didn't want to.
The GA needed to see this.
He was so preoccupied with the crowd, that he barely noticed as the Rundi ran up from the inside of the compound, flying forward on its long spindly legs.
It stopped by the first Rundi to say something, and the conversation that passed between them didn't look particularly encouraging.
HIs heart sank into his stomach.
He felt... Surprisingly disappointed, very sad for all those people who were going to get their day ruined.
The Rundi waffled around at the front of the crowd for a bit before turning and looking over to where he stood.
Oh great.
The Rundi walked over, and he backed off from the crowd, allowing Sunny to take a step in his place with her shield at the ready.
The people looked as if they were about to start something, but seeing her expression, they decided not to.
He dropped his shield and lowered his head to hear the Rundi over the roaring of the crowd.
"The GA is not budging."
The Rundi whispered,
"They are asking the protesters to leave."
Adam growled in frustration.
Behind him someone in the crowd pointed at him,
"They're saying no aren't they!?”
Others took up the call, and soon enough the rest of the crowd had been alerted. Adam was forced to run back to support Sunny, as everything suddenly grew more intense.
Fights were breaking out on the left and the right.
People were hitting the ground as the guards were forced to stun them.
That only agitated the rest of the crowd who also began to buck and fight.
Adam keyed the mic for real this time, filling the intervening space with his booming voice,
”ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW OR I WILL STUN YOU ALL."
The aggression in the crowd died down, though the anger remained sizzling at the surface.
Overhead clouds passed over the sun, before him the crowd roared like a wave, and behind him the GA council chambers were as silent as a ghost town.
"LISTEN, QUIET DOWN ALL OF YOU."
It sort of felt as if he was floating.
The world around him hardly seemed real though that was not the best way to explain it.
The crowd died down a bit,
"You may not understand this! And I have said it before, but these are not humans. Protests don't work on them. When they see a group of angry humans, they get scared and when they get scared, they double down even further. I know it does not make any sense to you NOT to protest for what you believe in, but if you are going to do this, you MUST remain civil. Even now the GA is frightened by you. They don't believe you are rational, and they are not going to listen to you if this keeps up."
The crowd had quieted down to a milling sort of confusion.
"Then what should we do!"*
The shouting came from somewhere and in anger, though he couldn't pinpoint the source.
In frustration he nudged Sunny, and she allowed him to climb on her back as he had before.
The crowd could see him now, and he could see them for the most part.
He waved them down trying to cut off the others who had taken up the chant.
"I understand what you are trying to do, and I support your efforts, but you are only hurting ourselves. The GA can only be won by rational discussion."
"The GA won't see any of our representatives. They are debating only on their own facts and opinions."
One of the crowd's people snarled. The call was echoed and Adam stared at them in shock,
"Wait what!? Are you serious?”
There was a muttering throughout the crowd.
"For fuck's sake."
He muttered under his breath,
"The Rudi think none of us are high ranking enough to be allowed into the council chambers, and none of the representatives will take up our cause. The human ambassador thinks we are disgusting, so she won't do anything and says she won’t represent our minority."
The muttering through the crowd grew louder.
Adam looked around, head turning to see all the angry faces, blushed with red, or streaked with tears.
These people were frustrated, and hurt, and he understood why.
This wasn't right!
He closed his eyes again and took another deep breath.
What was he thinking!?
He stepped down from Sunny's back and walked over to one of the protestors in the front row, pointing to his large flag on a pole that was about eight feet tall.
"May I borrow your flag?"
The protester stared on at him in confusion,
"What, why?"
"Because, I am going to give you the representative you need."
[…]
Commander Vir and Sunny walked alone down the length of the GA outer courtyard.
A billowing white flag streamed lazily over his head, suspended there by way of the pole which rested heavily on his shoulder. The white of the fabric had been marred now by many colors as hundreds of rushed signatures had been scrawled on its face.
He was armed with the backing of a thousand protesters, a hundred signatures, and more than a few dozen stories.
Sunny turned her head to look at him, and he fancied that maybe he saw an expression of pride in her eyes, though she didn't say much except,
"Pretty brave."
He didn't feel very brave, and as they walked through the front doors of the GA atrium, his hand was shaking against the cold metal of the flagpole.
He was stopped by a pair of Rundi guards on his way into the chamber, but was let in after they recognized who he was.
He could hear voices up ahead, and the sounds of the protest going on outside had all but died away,
"They have proven that they cannot be civil, and based on the humanizing effect, we can assume they will do similar things to any non-human lifeform that they encounter."
"I may not agree with their decision counselor, but that sounds like your prejudice against humans is seeping through."
There was an uproar in the council chamber.
He paused for a moment, staying with Sunny just out of line of sight and took a deep breath.
She lay a hand on his shoulder.
"Here goes nothing."
He muttered, before stepping his way out onto the GA floor.
At first no one noticed his presence as he made his slow way into the center of the circle, but his large, white flag soon changed that.
The council chambers went silent.
The chairwoman stood,
"Commander, what are you doing here. Shouldn't you be taking care of the protesters?”
His lips drew into a thing line,
"With all due respect councilwoman, I am."
He rammed the flagpole against the stone, sending a loud cracking sound out and around the wide atrium silencing the council,
"I have been made aware that you refuse to see their representatives based on a ranking issue, well I assume my rank is high enough."
The Human rep leaned forward,
"Commander, this is not your place!”
He shot her a look,
"Then whose place is it counselor? I heard a certain democratic counselor refuses to speak for them because they are and I quote “a too small and insignificant minority”…”
He turned his head in a wide arc at the watching crowd,
"Counselors, you have known me, longer than you have known any human currently in this galaxy. You understand that I know your rules and your customs. You understand that I have only ever striven to protect and uphold the GA and the planet's it encompasses. I have thwarted wars, signed treaties, and broken my own body for your best interests."
There was silence about the room.
"Will you let me speak now, with the understanding that my loyalty has never wavered from you, and never will?”
The silence continued.
Aliens understood the power of human loyalty.
Or at least they should…
The chairwoman took a seat,
"Very well, commander."
He lifted his head, feeling his heart slow as he took a few deep breaths. There was a muscle in his face that had begun to twitch, like it always did if he was extremely angry or nervous, but he held it down,
"I understand you are frightened, and I understand that you are confused, but I want you to know first of all that those people outside are good average people. They don't mean you any harm. They are hurting, and they are afraid for themselves, and they are trying to get your attention. Historically, humanity has used protests to right the injustices of government to combat prejudices brought on by one's sex or the color of their skin. You must understand that they see this as an impingement on their happiness and a decision made out of line."
There was a murmur around the room.
"So, I ask you now, that I may, perhaps, answer your questions and ease your worries. Why are you so against them?"
"It's unnatural."
It was the Bran representative that had spoken, and he did it quite emphatically.
"Why?"
The commander asked,
"Because they aren't even the same species."
"So?"
The Bran seemed caught off guard,
"They... It's not natural. They can't reproduce, so it isn't... A thing that should be done."
The commander shrugged,
"So if one can't reproduce then they aren't natural? I see a couple issues in that logic relating to prejudices against people with infertility."
There was a murmur around the room.
"So, they can't reproduce, so what? You know who we can reproduce with though... Adaptids."
There was a sort of hushed exclamation form around the room.
The commander shrugged,
"They can't have kids.... Hardly a good enough argument to bring to the floor of a government discussion."
"What he is trying to say is that this practice equates itself to bestiality. It is utterly disguting!"
It was the human representative this time, and she stared at him with her eyes narrowed in anger.
He kept his cool, though he very much did not like her.
"That is absolutely disgusting and wildly insulting of you because that implies that one or both parties are no better than animals, beasts as you will."
The room was silent,
"So which one is it, are humans animals, counselor, are the Finnari or the Rundi animals?"
He turned to the Drev counselor,
"Are the Drev just dumb animals that have no understanding, and no decision making abilities?”
The Drev representative stood, angrily cracking his spear against the stone,
"We are most certainly not!"
The commander held up his hands,
"Then what is so bestial about it? Bestiality is absolutely disgusting because you are taking advantages of a creature that can neither understand nor protect itself from what you are doing. It cannot say yes, and it cannot say no. It has no greater understanding than that of a child, and so cannot make its own decisions."
He looked towards the Finnari representative,
"Tell me counselor, is your species a species of children, with no greater concept of their own decision making?”
"Of course not. Why would you even imply such a thing!?”
"I imply nothing, counselor. This is what YOU imply with your decision. So far we have established that all parties are intelligent consenting creatures, and none of you have managed to give me an actually good reason for banning the practice."
The floor was growing more agitated.
"They will be a poor example for the rest of the galaxy. If we make it legal others will surely follow."
Adam turned his eyes on the speaker, an Iotin,
"You're worried that they are going to turn the rest of the galaxy extrial?"
He laughed,
"That is a poor argument which is not only selfish, but foolish. People should be allowed to make their own decisions. And assuming you are right, what then? Oh no... There are a few more extrials... And it does... What exactly?"
He turned in a wide circle,
"If you are worried about population growth or in this case population falloff due to this issue then you should be reminded that extrials comprise a percentage of the human population so small that I could fit the greater majority of them on my ship comfortably. This occurrence is not common, and even if the numbers were to rise, it would not be of enough significance to cause issues."
His heart was hammering hard inside his chest. He felt like he was doing alright, but that might mean nothing.
"In any event, these relationships do not affect the vast majority of the galaxy. Humans cannot be with the Bran or the Rundi due to the water we shed from our skin. The Gromm and the Iotins are out for similar reasons. Vrul and Gibb are incapable of having feelings for humans in that way as far as we know, and both the Tvek and the Celzex are too different from humans for either party to be interested."
He walked around in a circle, allowing the flag to trail behind him,
"Furthermore, the humanization phenomenon happens with or without romantic intent, and as it is, its mention is more a mark of prejudice on humans than it is an argument against the two groups being together."
He left the floor open for a little while, as the council muttered with each other.
Finally, the Drev representative stood,
"My species culture and our way of life has been upturned by the GA. I fear relationships with humans will result in the loss of our culture. We have already strayed far from what we originally were. We are hardly recognizable as Drev anymore."
The commander let his voice soften,
"I understand that the Drev have lost a lot in joining this..."
Sunny held up a hand, and in surprise he was cut off.
She took the floor,
"Your Glory…"
She said bowing her head,
"If you would have truly upheld those ideals, you would not be sitting on this council."
The Drev pulled back in surprise at her words,
"Yes, we lost a lot in joining the GA, and after the war, but I would argue that some of that was for good. Before the GA people like me, with perceived imperfection were cast into the fire and perceived as no better than animals. This practice still takes place on our planet, where these traditions are still alive and well."
Her words made the room shift nervously,
"However, culture changes and adapts, and it must to survive. We changed in order to live among the GA. We found other alternatives to fighting that still maintain our honor and our prowess in war, and this includes the sports that the humans have brought to us. Furthermore, the vast majority of the Drev I see who are with humans are those of us who would not be accepted by our own kind, perceived as ugly or malformed. If this is the case then your traditions remain sound, and those like me are removed from the mating population."
The counselor almost looked ashamed at her words, turning his head away so as not to look her in the eyes.
"As far as a change of culture goes, it was bound to happen, and it seems you are more worried about change than you actually are about human Drev relationships."
She went quiet, and Adam nodded to her taking the floor again.
A Finnari counselor stood,
"I am simply worried about our birth rate. The Finnari were farmed by the Gnarlak for many years, and we are only now replenishing our population."
"I don't think you need to worry. The amount of actual relationships is so small that it will not affect the Finnari population in any significant manner."
The representative sat back down with no real argument to combat him.
The chairwoman stood,
"Your arguments have been heard commander, though, what the others do not mention is the issue of disease. We have seen a great increase of illness transmissible from humans to non humans and-"
"I hate to cut you off chairwoman, but that is NOT related to interspecies relationships, but instead has another simple explanation: the rise in human tourism."
She paused,
"Explain."
"You all know very well that humans are not allowed to leave their planet unless they are tested for all communicable non-treatable diseases. This means that those of us that you see here cannot physically pass our diseases off onto other people, except for the germs that are found naturally on our skin. In this case these issues did not stem from relationships at all, but poor vaccination, the poor regulation of tourism, and allowing aliens to travel onto earth where infected humans are located and not testing them as they leave."
He looked on at them pleadingly,
"You see. You don't even have problems with them, but you are using them as a real scapegoat for the actual issues. And I am here to tell you that, in fact you are causing more problems by banning this! The more you push, the harder they will push back, and eventually someone is going to get hurt, because they are not allowed to be together legally, they do it illegally, and because they do it illegally, they end up in dangerous places exposed to greater rates of crime. They get hurt, and they get involved in things they would otherwise not have gotten involved in if you had not banned it. Just look at Noctoplis. It has the highest rate of extrials living there and the lowest policing force and the most corrupted system. There are no legitimate jobs there, so we see an influx of crime by desperate people who won't be accepted anywhere else. Not to mention that it increased the depression rates, which increases suicide rates. Your laws have ostracized them, forced them to become criminals, and turned many of them to think that killing themselves is better than living in a world where they are seen as disgusting when they don't actually do any real harm."
He had to take a deep breath,
"Earth has seen all of this before, and one way or another, eventually someone will see what I am trying to say."
He rested the flag on the floor beside him, feet planted at shoulder width.
"I hope that this rational conversation will allow a more open mind on the council. I encourage you to talk to their representatives. They are more rational and educated than I am, and they can give you hard facts and statistics. But please, they don't want to cause trouble, if you allow them to do as they will, you might find these problems going away for you."
The human representative clearly did not seem convinced, but he didn't expect to convince her, he expected to convince the others who were more afraid than they were prejudiced.
"It seems as if we have some other potential policies to discuss, commander."
The chairwoman said, tapping her fingers on the table before her.
"I have a suggestion, ma'am."
"And that is?"
"A temporary revocation on the ban, that way you can SEE what the universe will be like without it, and you can judge for yourself whether The ban does any good. You don't have to overturn the law just yet, but temporarily suspend it, that way you can re institute at any time. Then you will have concrete proof. You can do testing, and polls and whatever else, then you would know for sure."
His suggestion turned into a discussion, that dragged on for many minutes before the chairwoman raised her hand,
"It has been decided, all in favor of this temporary proposal please indicate."
The voting lights flashed above them.
Commander Vir waited with baited breath.
[…]
He walked from the venue, hours after he had entered, totally tired and exhausted.
The flag felt heavy in his hands and his boots thudded with exhaustion on the white marble below him.
Outside, the protest field was surprisingly silent, though he could still see their flags.
As he walked closer, he could see that the vast majority of the crowd was sitting down.
Their voices reached him from a distance at first, until he realized they were calmly singing with each other.
Waiting for his verdict.
Suddenly the first people from the crowd noticed the two silhouettes coming from the chambers towards them.
A lone man and Drev were walking from the building.
The man was wearing riot gear, a full helmet, a shield, and carrying their flag, resting against his right shoulder.
The group of them began to stand, rising to their feet and yelling.
Pointing in his direction.
They quieted as he got closer.
"What did they say!? What did they say!?”
He stayed quiet, holding a hand in the air to silence them.
He passed the flag to the original protester who looked on at him with such an expression of pleading that he felt his eyes tingle a bit with rising emotion.
He had to look away, boosting himself onto Sunny's back, keying his mic.
The crowd was silent.
A thousand eyes fixed on one human and one Drev.
"I spoke to the GA."
They waited on tenterhooks,
"And after a long debate, and a slim majority the GA have decided..."
Flags whipped in the wind,
"To temporarily revoke the ban on inter-species relationships until a-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence, drowned out by a powerful wave of noise and joy so overwhelming that he was nearly knocked backwards off his feet.
The crowd surged forward, and Sunny staggered as the group surrounded them, pressing inward and upwards.
Adam found himself on the ground on his feet, packed in by bodies enclosed by hundreds of pairs of arms, which slapped on the shoulder and the arm, as every person tried their best to get one hand on him.
The flag from earlier was ripped off its stand and pressed into his hands.
He was deafened by cheering and an outpouring of gratitude so profound he had simply never experienced such emotion.
He looked up at Sunny, pressed in with him by the enthusiastic crowd.
And she nodded her head in approval.
He grinned.
He had to admit.
This felt pretty good.
Though, weather it was all over was a question for another time.
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

So Id like to start by saying I never want to get back with my ex but I'm not able to get rid of her from my mind. I left her because of alot of reasons that built up over the years and I finally could not take it.
Unfortunately I've noticed that whenever I'm in an anxiety driven situation or any incident happens, that night I tend to get nightmares about my ex in some form or the other. I call them nightmares instead of dreams because most of the time I'm anxious in the dream as well.
Tonight I woke up at 4am again where I had a nightmare. My ex who was blocked on every platform somehow got through and was calling me. I didn't pick up but got anxious. For some reason I called back (irl I've resisted the callback alot as I've got alot to say but I wanted to cut the connection completely) and luckily she didn't pick up. But after a minute she kept calling back again and again and when I picked up it was a video call where she was smiling and telling me nasty things and was for some reason giving me updates on how she moved on. The next minute she would switch to pleading to return and again go back to gloating how she doesn't need me.
Now I don't want to pay my own back and say I'm wonderful and so amazing that she would plead for me to come back but in reality she did alot for months when we broke up.
I even met her the day I broke up to give her closure but she zoned out alot that day and infact sexual harrased me alot. Few days later was valentine's day and I know alot of people will think it's really sad I broke up before that but I did for a reason. I couldn't fake it anymore. I was not able to smile, laugh and pretend anymore and I thought this would give her false hope for another month for me to again feel like things aren't working. A week later was her birthday and yes I was extremely guilty but again as I said, i couldn't fake it. Valentine's day and then throwing a celebration for her birthday (I did this every year and Is generally keep it special but this year I could not) seemed to just endorse a false Reality for a longer time. Things were miserable. I empathized and sympathize alot (not cause I'm better or anything but because of guilt) so i still picked her calls up after we broke up and didn't block her. But then things got nasty. In order to make herself feel better, I got really horrible messages, blame for things I never did, constant pleading and she even landed below my house multiple times and cried in the street which I had to handle in front of my entire community (my sister practices buddhism and it was a big day that for her, she had invited alot of people to our house to chant together and wanted my family and I to be there to support but due to this incident I was really rattled because my ex was down crying while everyone was in the house, my ex knew about this meeting because it was planned months in advance). As the messages got nasty I blocked her. First on WhatsApp, then on Facebook, then on Instagram (all 4 accounts of hers), then on Google meet, teams, i don't even know where all, as she kept finding me and messaging. Even on email. Her emails still come through in my spam and it's made me very anxious as I still land up checking the spam folder everyday in fear and clear it. It's become a bad habit. Randomly I'll get calls from odd numbers and it'll turn out to be her friends phone and she will talk and I cut the call. I even got video calls on Google meet from her 3rd and 4th email which I had to block.
It may sound brutal but I really tried to give closure to her on the day we broke up, I spent 5 hrs at house explaining everything and instead she zoned out that day and kept get distracted as if she doesn't care and kept sexual harrasing me. Pulling my shirt and unbuckling my pants which unfortunately as a guy I can't push her away i can only tell her several times to stop.
Now I'll be completely honest but I did not tell her every single thing as to why I broke up with her because the anxiety was so much. I was trying to break up since a while and finally did it. I'm extremely socially anxious and everything makes me very nervous when I'm unfamiliar. It's only my second relationship and first time I was serious, my first relationship only lasted 3 months and that was my therapist telling me to explore because I need to be out there. The reason I never said everything is because 1. I didn't want to hurt her ofcourse, it's nasty to hear someone you loved talk about things that can be looked at as flaws but in reality they were affecting me and it was really unhealthy for the both of us 2. I didn't know myself, I knew things are not right but it's only after the break up I've truly understood them 3. I was nervous as she kept saying she wants to suicide from the balcony and threatened me alot of I left that night 4. I genuinely am bad at confrontations, I cannot do it, the pressure makes me run away mostly or just let it be as is.
Over the course of the relationship I had become very dependent on her as socially she's the only person I met. Every weekend or weekday for 2.5 years. I suffered from depression and anxiety alot growing up and often found it hard to make friends. In college however things changed and for those years I was really open. As I did my master's in another country I became reserved again. Returning back home I lost touch with everyone and became a workaholic. For 6 years I worked say and night, had only 2 friends and stayed in my room mostly depressed. Work took me around the globe, I lived in LA for a year and then once covid hit I returned home where during the lockdown I decided " let's try to open up a bit more and meet someone, it's time ". I was very open from the get go that I'm horrible at socializing, I've got only few friends whom I hardly meet, I can be very quiet sometimes and enjoy my own company as well sometimes and I'm a terrible planner for "fun weekends". I know my flaws and I've accepted it. My ex on the other hand was very emotionally dependent on me. She would call me at a stop of a hat and panick and there were days where I've left calls in between to help her through her anxiety. She was younger than me by 3 years and was just going through the phases of career while I was going into a senior position and had seen these phases. I guided her alot on it and so family problems, work problems, random people bothering her, stress anything she would talk to me and I was ever ready to talk. No complaints as that's what partners do. However it became without any boundaries, she would often expect me to drop everything and tend to her. Days where I've got major deliveries to make, she would throw tantrums and in one instance I was supervising the biggest project of my life and she threw lots of tantrums as we worked weekends and 24 hrs round the clock. It was the biggest movie of the country at the time and the first big hit post covid. (i work in the film industry).
I mentioned my flaws earlier as those became her focus of complaint. My insecurities were her complaints about me and she even once broke up with me over "lack of friends and not being a man enough because I can't plan things for the weekend", no doubt she taught me how to have a good time, I had no idea which restaurant to book, what cuisine to pick, which area to book this weekend which is exciting, how to do more fun activities other than dinners and going to cafes etc and for the first I learnt what's a staycation cause of her. I guess she felt the burden was on her but then again anything I'd book she would cancel it anyways. I booked several restaurants that were good but she'd cancel it anyways and then ehen someone else would recommend the restaurant she'd agree to go. It's almost like I had no say in anything anyways so I put my hands up. My social anxiety 5 years was at an all time high and I couldn't even order food as I'd feel the waiter would judge me (which they often did) , I attended lots of therapy for these weird quirks of mine which to an average person seemed like no biggie but it genuinely made me nervous. I got over and thought by the time I met her I'd made good progress, I was able to pick up the phone and book things sometimes, I could order food, I was fine with video calls (I'm very conscious of how I look as I was bullied alot in school), I tried to participate in everything and I gave in all my efforts instead into understanding her and learning who she is first and putting my fears aside. However I feel she didn't do the same. For a long time i believed she understood exactly whats wrong with me and empathized and put it aside but i realised as the taunting went on and the gas lighting that she looked at them as flaws. She didn't bother to understand them or see them but instead gave me notes like a teacher and complained alot on how I'm not social. Infact on her birthday she kept messaging me she's alone so I felt guilty and called and instead she complained about all my insecurities and I had to take it quietly. She even said "I'll make sure the next person treats me like woman and is a real man" which really hurt me alot. I cried that night because of guilt and shame. Guilt because I wanted it work and it didn't and so I had to pull the plug and Shame because for first time in a long time I felt ashamed for who I am.
Today the anxiety driven situation was a social situation. I've come to the US for a family friends wedding and although I know people it's really making me nervous. Indian weddings last the entire week and this wedding has 250 people who have eyes on me constantly as I know few of them or my family knows them. Today was the first day and as usual I was lost, my sister on the other hand is extremely social and I used to depend on her. However a year ago she got drunk in a wedding again while we were out of town and told me "You're social life depends on me you loser" and then proceeded to abuse me alot for no reason while I was helping her as she puked. This wedding it makes me nervous and alone, I cling to my parents and the younger crowd stares at me alot pulling me to dance and I'm very awkward. Idk how to join in or have fun I'm very conscious and Idk any of the songs as I generally don't enjoy Hindi music (not cause of snobbishness but cause I don't get it, I'm more into exploring mellow music and Bollywood sounds all the same to me, also working in Hollywood and Bollywood I'm fed up of movies so I don't watch half of them).
I'm sorry for the long post, it's just that I'm awake and wondering why I got these nightmares, how to get rid of them, how to survive the next few days and what am I doing with my life. There were alot of pretty girls here today and all I could think of was "They are all too much fun for me, I'll bore them to death"

So for context I picked up my pre-order yesterday and didnt get the game installed onto my PS4 until my gf was in bed. In an attempt to keep it quiet, I plugged my fight stick in to player 1 and then a normal controller in to player 2 so I can use headphones out of that controllers headphone jack. Don't know if that is the source for my problems but here we go...
First off, I accidentally selected Japanese as my language during install and that in and of itself was a bitch to fix. I uninstalled and reinstalled and everything was still in Japanese so thanks to a guide I was able to change the UI language to English. Unfortunately all of the voices and commentary was still in Japanese. I had already spent over 20 minutes trying to fix this so I just said fuck it and continued on.
I wasn't in the mood for World Tour or whatever and wanted to jump right in to Casual Matches online. This is when I really started to see how much of a nightmare the UI is. Setting this up is much more of a confusing chore than it should be. I'd go in to Casual Match and play with settings and just.... wait. Nothing was happening. I thought maybe my PSN sub expired or my internet was down or something so I scrambled around tryna figure it out. Turns out you're supposed to select Casual Match, which opens up the Options, and then you back out in to the Fighting Grounds window and then the game starts searching for fighters. This is confusing and stupid and the game doesn't explain this as clearly as it should considering this is Capcoms attempt at attracting new players.
Once I get a fight going, this is where my real beef starts. Modern controls seem to be stuck on default and no matter what I do in the options, it stays on Modern. I change my controls to Classic, go back in to a fight, its still Modern. I change controls for player 2 to Classic, go back in to a fight, it's still Modern. I've looked at every guide on the internet and no matter what I do my controls are stuck on Smash Bros! I absolutely refuse to play this way and if this game indeed forces you to use Modern controls even in Fighting Grounds, I can't see myself playing this.
My last issue is the GameStop DLC code, which is for a couple things including a Chun Li skin, I got for preordering. I downloaded it and everything seemed fine but the Chun Li skin just isn't there. Cannot figure out why or where I went wrong. Not a huge issue but still annoying.
After about 30 minutes of trying to play with all these issues, I got angry and uninstalled and turned my system off. I'm hoping that yet another reinstall fixes these issues but Im not holding my breath.
TLDR; All in all I feel the SF6 UI is infinitely worse than the SF5 UI. I'm currently stuck with Japanese voices and modern controls and my pre-order DLC is not applying. If anyone has any fixes or has the same issues, I'd love to hear from you.

I (18F) have been “dating” my bf(18M) for about 1 month now and I am completely confused.
At the beginning of my final year in high school I had a crush on 2 guys. Worst of all, they were best friends. I had no intention of pursuing either of them as I wasn’t looking for a relationship. However as some time passed my feelings grew more and more. One guy, Taylor, I had a huge crush on, but he has never been in a relationship before and has never had a proper crush on a girl before. Taylor and I always clicked; we loved talking about anything and everything and would play games like backgammon together. I always had a hint of him liking me back but completely dismissed it considering his “picky” nature when it came to the girls he liked. I forced myself to move past him and ignore my feelings.
The other guy, Alex, I had helped get over a heartbreak with his ex over the summer and we got closer. We never talked about much other than relationships. We both wanted a significant other and at some point it seemed kind of inevitable that something would happen. He was definitely flirting with me and his friends would hint at it too. I really liked him but we didn’t have much in common. One night we kissed, and afterwards he suddenly asked me if he could call me his girlfriend. I hadn’t even expected it and I felt pressured in the moment so I stupidly said yes.
The relationship moved fast. 2 weeks into dating and he introduced me formally as his girlfriend to his ENTIRE family. I’m talking parents, grandparents, aunts, childhood best friends and the pressure to stay kept piling on and on.
He kept asking if I had told my parents and I hadn’t as it was too soon, but it bothered him and I buckled and introduced him to my parents as well. Within a months time not only had I met his entire family, but he had met mine and everyone at school kept saying we were destined to get married.
I wasn’t happy. I felt pressured to stay and so I did, and I tried to make the relationship work. we had absolutely nothing in common. We had nothing to talk about and all we ever did was couples stuff such as holding hands, cuddling and having sex. It was during this time that my feelings for his best friend, Taylor, began growing deeper. The guilt accompanied by this was agonising and i felt like the biggest asshole.
Eventually, 6 months in, I couldn’t take it and ended the relationship. He didn’t take it well and I helped him though the breakup, consoling him, staying up late into the night calling him if he wasn’t feeling well. soon his friends told me I need to put distance as without it he would never move on. So I did exactly that.
I had this huge relief and felt like a pressure had been taken off my back. But my feelings for his best friend, Taylor, had grown so much over the past months that I was practically drowning in them. I had never felt this way about someone before and was the most lovesick I had ever been in my life. I neglected the feelings as I couldn’t do that to Alex.
One day however, I was studying for an exam with Taylor and he told me he had liked me and asked if I felt the same way. I told him I did.
We then talked for hours about this and came to the realisation that we had both liked each other at the beginning of the year and both of us dismissed our feelings but they only grew over the months. We talked and it felt like a relief to have my feelings out there. We didn’t pursue anything as we it was too late considering the situation with Alex and the fact that we were leaving for uni soon.
A week later Taylor told me he couldn’t take it anymore. It was obvious we liked each other and he said he couldn’t lie to Alex’s face anymore as Alex had been asking Taylor if he liked me. He asked if it was ok for him to tell Alex and as I didn’t want Alex to know, I told him it was ok with me.
When Alex found out he felt betrayed and was calling me a whore and I didn’t know how to respond. Alex and Taylor had fallen out and The guilt was killing me. Alex left school a week earlier and a whole drama escalated as Alex talked with other people at school. I was labelled a whore and the rumours about me were insane.
I never felt so shit in my life in the week that followed. But Taylor was there for me through it all. We both got really close and would stay up late into the night, talking about anything and everything. Some days, he would even wake up early in the morning and be at my house at 4am. We would sit outside, cuddling and talking until 7:00 when we had to leave for school. He would say I looked like summer and he even kept a Polaroid picture of us in his wallet. I told him I wasn’t ready to rush into anything and he said he was more than ready to respect my space. We weren’t officially together but we were essentially a thing.
A week later that he said had been in love with me for the most part of the year. He said he could wait for me as long as I needed, and that he wanted to give us a shot.
we had a one month holiday from school where we couldn’t see each other. In the beginning we would text and call. But later he seemed cold. I would reach out but his messages were dry.
At school he had really gotten cold too.He stopped texting and reaching out, he stopped showing affection in public and I felt confused. I talked to him about it and he apologised and said he hadn’t realised and said things would change. For 2 days he would be active and then he would go back to being cold again. Weeks passed and I had reached out to him multiple times. Each time the same pattern. We talk, he says he didn’t realise, he changes for 2 days, and then goes back to being cold.
In the weeks that followed I had never felt more unwanted in my life. Taylor had made up with Alex and they were back to being friends again but Alex still hated my guts. My friends had different opinions on it. One said that Taylor cared for me and that he simply didn’t know how to act in a relationship. Some of my friends didn’t like the way he treated me and told me I deserved better.
We’ve graduated from high school and I’ve never been more confused He never really opens up to me, and it’s a constant on and off. 90% of the time he’s cold. And only in the 10% does he show affection and care. I’m back home now with my parents and for the past week it has only been me who is reaching out, and when I do he replies 12-24 hours later. He is known to be a shitty texter but I feel like this is more than that.
I care about him so much and everyone keeps telling me that he does too but I don’t know what to do at this point. I feel so unwanted and unloved and I can’t take it anymore but at the same point he means so much to me that I’m not willing to let it go. I’ve already told him exactly what I’ve written here and he said things would change but they haven’t and I can’t go talk to him about this for the 4th time as I don’t want to be overbearing.

So Id like to start by saying I never want to get back with my ex but I'm not able to get rid of her from my mind. I left her because of alot of reasons that built up over the years and I finally could not take it.
Unfortunately I've noticed that whenever I'm in an anxiety driven situation or any incident happens, that night I tend to get nightmares about my ex in some form or the other. I call them nightmares instead of dreams because most of the time I'm anxious in the dream as well.
Tonight I woke up at 4am again where I had a nightmare. My ex who was blocked on every platform somehow got through and was calling me. I didn't pick up but got anxious. For some reason I called back (irl I've resisted the callback alot as I've got alot to say but I wanted to cut the connection completely) and luckily she didn't pick up. But after a minute she kept calling back again and again and when I picked up it was a video call where she was smiling and telling me nasty things and was for some reason giving me updates on how she moved on. The next minute she would switch to pleading to return and again go back to gloating how she doesn't need me.
Now I don't want to pay my own back and say I'm wonderful and so amazing that she would plead for me to come back but in reality she did alot for months when we broke up.
I even met her the day I broke up to give her closure but she zoned out alot that day and infact sexual harrased me alot. Few days later was valentine's day and I know alot of people will think it's really sad I broke up before that but I did for a reason. I couldn't fake it anymore. I was not able to smile, laugh and pretend anymore and I thought this would give her false hope for another month for me to again feel like things aren't working. A week later was her birthday and yes I was extremely guilty but again as I said, i couldn't fake it. Valentine's day and then throwing a celebration for her birthday (I did this every year and Is generally keep it special but this year I could not) seemed to just endorse a false Reality for a longer time. Things were miserable. I empathized and sympathize alot (not cause I'm better or anything but because of guilt) so i still picked her calls up after we broke up and didn't block her. But then things got nasty. In order to make herself feel better, I got really horrible messages, blame for things I never did, constant pleading and she even landed below my house multiple times and cried in the street which I had to handle in front of my entire community (my sister practices buddhism and it was a big day that for her, she had invited alot of people to our house to chant together and wanted my family and I to be there to support but due to this incident I was really rattled because my ex was down crying while everyone was in the house, my ex knew about this meeting because it was planned months in advance). As the messages got nasty I blocked her. First on WhatsApp, then on Facebook, then on Instagram (all 4 accounts of hers), then on Google meet, teams, i don't even know where all, as she kept finding me and messaging. Even on email. Her emails still come through in my spam and it's made me very anxious as I still land up checking the spam folder everyday in fear and clear it. It's become a bad habit. Randomly I'll get calls from odd numbers and it'll turn out to be her friends phone and she will talk and I cut the call. I even got video calls on Google meet from her 3rd and 4th email which I had to block.
It may sound brutal but I really tried to give closure to her on the day we broke up, I spent 5 hrs at house explaining everything and instead she zoned out that day and kept get distracted as if she doesn't care and kept sexual harrasing me. Pulling my shirt and unbuckling my pants which unfortunately as a guy I can't push her away i can only tell her several times to stop.
Now I'll be completely honest but I did not tell her every single thing as to why I broke up with her because the anxiety was so much. I was trying to break up since a while and finally did it. I'm extremely socially anxious and everything makes me very nervous when I'm unfamiliar. It's only my second relationship and first time I was serious, my first relationship only lasted 3 months and that was my therapist telling me to explore because I need to be out there. The reason I never said everything is because 1. I didn't want to hurt her ofcourse, it's nasty to hear someone you loved talk about things that can be looked at as flaws but in reality they were affecting me and it was really unhealthy for the both of us 2. I didn't know myself, I knew things are not right but it's only after the break up I've truly understood them 3. I was nervous as she kept saying she wants to suicide from the balcony and threatened me alot of I left that night 4. I genuinely am bad at confrontations, I cannot do it, the pressure makes me run away mostly or just let it be as is.
Over the course of the relationship I had become very dependent on her as socially she's the only person I met. Every weekend or weekday for 2.5 years. I suffered from depression and anxiety alot growing up and often found it hard to make friends. In college however things changed and for those years I was really open. As I did my master's in another country I became reserved again. Returning back home I lost touch with everyone and became a workaholic. For 6 years I worked say and night, had only 2 friends and stayed in my room mostly depressed. Work took me around the globe, I lived in LA for a year and then once covid hit I returned home where during the lockdown I decided " let's try to open up a bit more and meet someone, it's time ". I was very open from the get go that I'm horrible at socializing, I've got only few friends whom I hardly meet, I can be very quiet sometimes and enjoy my own company as well sometimes and I'm a terrible planner for "fun weekends". I know my flaws and I've accepted it. My ex on the other hand was very emotionally dependent on me. She would call me at a stop of a hat and panick and there were days where I've left calls in between to help her through her anxiety. She was younger than me by 3 years and was just going through the phases of career while I was going into a senior position and had seen these phases. I guided her alot on it and so family problems, work problems, random people bothering her, stress anything she would talk to me and I was ever ready to talk. No complaints as that's what partners do. However it became without any boundaries, she would often expect me to drop everything and tend to her. Days where I've got major deliveries to make, she would throw tantrums and in one instance I was supervising the biggest project of my life and she threw lots of tantrums as we worked weekends and 24 hrs round the clock. It was the biggest movie of the country at the time and the first big hit post covid. (i work in the film industry).
I mentioned my flaws earlier as those became her focus of complaint. My insecurities were her complaints about me and she even once broke up with me over "lack of friends and not being a man enough because I can't plan things for the weekend", no doubt she taught me how to have a good time, I had no idea which restaurant to book, what cuisine to pick, which area to book this weekend which is exciting, how to do more fun activities other than dinners and going to cafes etc and for the first I learnt what's a staycation cause of her. I guess she felt the burden was on her but then again anything I'd book she would cancel it anyways. I booked several restaurants that were good but she'd cancel it anyways and then ehen someone else would recommend the restaurant she'd agree to go. It's almost like I had no say in anything anyways so I put my hands up. My social anxiety 5 years was at an all time high and I couldn't even order food as I'd feel the waiter would judge me (which they often did) , I attended lots of therapy for these weird quirks of mine which to an average person seemed like no biggie but it genuinely made me nervous. I got over and thought by the time I met her I'd made good progress, I was able to pick up the phone and book things sometimes, I could order food, I was fine with video calls (I'm very conscious of how I look as I was bullied alot in school), I tried to participate in everything and I gave in all my efforts instead into understanding her and learning who she is first and putting my fears aside. However I feel she didn't do the same. For a long time i believed she understood exactly whats wrong with me and empathized and put it aside but i realised as the taunting went on and the gas lighting that she looked at them as flaws. She didn't bother to understand them or see them but instead gave me notes like a teacher and complained alot on how I'm not social. Infact on her birthday she kept messaging me she's alone so I felt guilty and called and instead she complained about all my insecurities and I had to take it quietly. She even said "I'll make sure the next person treats me like woman and is a real man" which really hurt me alot. I cried that night because of guilt and shame. Guilt because I wanted it work and it didn't and so I had to pull the plug and Shame because for first time in a long time I felt ashamed for who I am.
Today the anxiety driven situation was a social situation. I've come to the US for a family friends wedding and although I know people it's really making me nervous. Indian weddings last the entire week and this wedding has 250 people who have eyes on me constantly as I know few of them or my family knows them. Today was the first day and as usual I was lost, my sister on the other hand is extremely social and I used to depend on her. However a year ago she got drunk in a wedding again while we were out of town and told me "You're social life depends on me you loser" and then proceeded to abuse me alot for no reason while I was helping her as she puked. This wedding it makes me nervous and alone, I cling to my parents and the younger crowd stares at me alot pulling me to dance and I'm very awkward. Idk how to join in or have fun I'm very conscious and Idk any of the songs as I generally don't enjoy Hindi music (not cause of snobbishness but cause I don't get it, I'm more into exploring mellow music and Bollywood sounds all the same to me, also working in Hollywood and Bollywood I'm fed up of movies so I don't watch half of them).
I'm sorry for the long post, it's just that I'm awake and wondering why I got these nightmares, how to get rid of them, how to survive the next few days and what am I doing with my life. There were alot of pretty girls here today and all I could think of was "They are all too much fun for me, I'll bore them to death"

So Id like to start by saying I never want to get back with my ex but I'm not able to get rid of her from my mind. I left her because of alot of reasons that built up over the years and I finally could not take it.
Unfortunately I've noticed that whenever I'm in an anxiety driven situation or any incident happens, that night I tend to get nightmares about my ex in some form or the other. I call them nightmares instead of dreams because most of the time I'm anxious in the dream as well.
Tonight I woke up at 4am again where I had a nightmare. My ex who was blocked on every platform somehow got through and was calling me. I didn't pick up but got anxious. For some reason I called back (irl I've resisted the callback alot as I've got alot to say but I wanted to cut the connection completely) and luckily she didn't pick up. But after a minute she kept calling back again and again and when I picked up it was a video call where she was smiling and telling me nasty things and was for some reason giving me updates on how she moved on. The next minute she would switch to pleading to return and again go back to gloating how she doesn't need me.
Now I don't want to pay my own back and say I'm wonderful and so amazing that she would plead for me to come back but in reality she did alot for months when we broke up.
I even met her the day I broke up to give her closure but she zoned out alot that day and infact sexual harrased me alot. Few days later was valentine's day and I know alot of people will think it's really sad I broke up before that but I did for a reason. I couldn't fake it anymore. I was not able to smile, laugh and pretend anymore and I thought this would give her false hope for another month for me to again feel like things aren't working. A week later was her birthday and yes I was extremely guilty but again as I said, i couldn't fake it. Valentine's day and then throwing a celebration for her birthday (I did this every year and Is generally keep it special but this year I could not) seemed to just endorse a false Reality for a longer time. Things were miserable. I empathized and sympathize alot (not cause I'm better or anything but because of guilt) so i still picked her calls up after we broke up and didn't block her. But then things got nasty. In order to make herself feel better, I got really horrible messages, blame for things I never did, constant pleading and she even landed below my house multiple times and cried in the street which I had to handle in front of my entire community (my sister practices buddhism and it was a big day that for her, she had invited alot of people to our house to chant together and wanted my family and I to be there to support but due to this incident I was really rattled because my ex was down crying while everyone was in the house, my ex knew about this meeting because it was planned months in advance). As the messages got nasty I blocked her. First on WhatsApp, then on Facebook, then on Instagram (all 4 accounts of hers), then on Google meet, teams, i don't even know where all, as she kept finding me and messaging. Even on email. Her emails still come through in my spam and it's made me very anxious as I still land up checking the spam folder everyday in fear and clear it. It's become a bad habit. Randomly I'll get calls from odd numbers and it'll turn out to be her friends phone and she will talk and I cut the call. I even got video calls on Google meet from her 3rd and 4th email which I had to block.
It may sound brutal but I really tried to give closure to her on the day we broke up, I spent 5 hrs at house explaining everything and instead she zoned out that day and kept get distracted as if she doesn't care and kept sexual harrasing me. Pulling my shirt and unbuckling my pants which unfortunately as a guy I can't push her away i can only tell her several times to stop.
Now I'll be completely honest but I did not tell her every single thing as to why I broke up with her because the anxiety was so much. I was trying to break up since a while and finally did it. I'm extremely socially anxious and everything makes me very nervous when I'm unfamiliar. It's only my second relationship and first time I was serious, my first relationship only lasted 3 months and that was my therapist telling me to explore because I need to be out there. The reason I never said everything is because 1. I didn't want to hurt her ofcourse, it's nasty to hear someone you loved talk about things that can be looked at as flaws but in reality they were affecting me and it was really unhealthy for the both of us 2. I didn't know myself, I knew things are not right but it's only after the break up I've truly understood them 3. I was nervous as she kept saying she wants to suicide from the balcony and threatened me alot of I left that night 4. I genuinely am bad at confrontations, I cannot do it, the pressure makes me run away mostly or just let it be as is.
Over the course of the relationship I had become very dependent on her as socially she's the only person I met. Every weekend or weekday for 2.5 years. I suffered from depression and anxiety alot growing up and often found it hard to make friends. In college however things changed and for those years I was really open. As I did my master's in another country I became reserved again. Returning back home I lost touch with everyone and became a workaholic. For 6 years I worked say and night, had only 2 friends and stayed in my room mostly depressed. Work took me around the globe, I lived in LA for a year and then once covid hit I returned home where during the lockdown I decided " let's try to open up a bit more and meet someone, it's time ". I was very open from the get go that I'm horrible at socializing, I've got only few friends whom I hardly meet, I can be very quiet sometimes and enjoy my own company as well sometimes and I'm a terrible planner for "fun weekends". I know my flaws and I've accepted it. My ex on the other hand was very emotionally dependent on me. She would call me at a stop of a hat and panick and there were days where I've left calls in between to help her through her anxiety. She was younger than me by 3 years and was just going through the phases of career while I was going into a senior position and had seen these phases. I guided her alot on it and so family problems, work problems, random people bothering her, stress anything she would talk to me and I was ever ready to talk. No complaints as that's what partners do. However it became without any boundaries, she would often expect me to drop everything and tend to her. Days where I've got major deliveries to make, she would throw tantrums and in one instance I was supervising the biggest project of my life and she threw lots of tantrums as we worked weekends and 24 hrs round the clock. It was the biggest movie of the country at the time and the first big hit post covid. (i work in the film industry).
I mentioned my flaws earlier as those became her focus of complaint. My insecurities were her complaints about me and she even once broke up with me over "lack of friends and not being a man enough because I can't plan things for the weekend", no doubt she taught me how to have a good time, I had no idea which restaurant to book, what cuisine to pick, which area to book this weekend which is exciting, how to do more fun activities other than dinners and going to cafes etc and for the first I learnt what's a staycation cause of her. I guess she felt the burden was on her but then again anything I'd book she would cancel it anyways. I booked several restaurants that were good but she'd cancel it anyways and then ehen someone else would recommend the restaurant she'd agree to go. It's almost like I had no say in anything anyways so I put my hands up. My social anxiety 5 years was at an all time high and I couldn't even order food as I'd feel the waiter would judge me (which they often did) , I attended lots of therapy for these weird quirks of mine which to an average person seemed like no biggie but it genuinely made me nervous. I got over and thought by the time I met her I'd made good progress, I was able to pick up the phone and book things sometimes, I could order food, I was fine with video calls (I'm very conscious of how I look as I was bullied alot in school), I tried to participate in everything and I gave in all my efforts instead into understanding her and learning who she is first and putting my fears aside. However I feel she didn't do the same. For a long time i believed she understood exactly whats wrong with me and empathized and put it aside but i realised as the taunting went on and the gas lighting that she looked at them as flaws. She didn't bother to understand them or see them but instead gave me notes like a teacher and complained alot on how I'm not social. Infact on her birthday she kept messaging me she's alone so I felt guilty and called and instead she complained about all my insecurities and I had to take it quietly. She even said "I'll make sure the next person treats me like woman and is a real man" which really hurt me alot. I cried that night because of guilt and shame. Guilt because I wanted it work and it didn't and so I had to pull the plug and Shame because for first time in a long time I felt ashamed for who I am.
Today the anxiety driven situation was a social situation. I've come to the US for a family friends wedding and although I know people it's really making me nervous. Indian weddings last the entire week and this wedding has 250 people who have eyes on me constantly as I know few of them or my family knows them. Today was the first day and as usual I was lost, my sister on the other hand is extremely social and I used to depend on her. However a year ago she got drunk in a wedding again while we were out of town and told me "You're social life depends on me you loser" and then proceeded to abuse me alot for no reason while I was helping her as she puked. This wedding it makes me nervous and alone, I cling to my parents and the younger crowd stares at me alot pulling me to dance and I'm very awkward. Idk how to join in or have fun I'm very conscious and Idk any of the songs as I generally don't enjoy Hindi music (not cause of snobbishness but cause I don't get it, I'm more into exploring mellow music and Bollywood sounds all the same to me, also working in Hollywood and Bollywood I'm fed up of movies so I don't watch half of them).
I'm sorry for the long post, it's just that I'm awake and wondering why I got these nightmares, how to get rid of them, how to survive the next few days and what am I doing with my life. There were alot of pretty girls here today and all I could think of was "They are all too much fun for me, I'll bore them to death"

I need 3 people to help me with Act I of the Doomsday Heist and the setups🙏🏽. Idc about shares I just wanna have fun, I'll give y'all as much as y'all want.

Finally finished my next Holiday Script. But you can fill it whenever you want, if you're interested. No rush.
Word Processor file available upon request. Any SFX included are just suggestions for reference. If you want to use the script, then you can change whatever you want, and post it wherever you want. Monetization OK. Please just let me see the finished product. Credit me by putting「Script by The Mousou Koujou https://www.youtube.com/@TheMousouKoujou 」in your description, and if possible, placing this image at some point in the video, like an outro: Business Card
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START
[Excited] Hey dad~, I'm home! I had the craziest day at work. I can't wait to tell you all about it, and…
[Calming down] …Whoa, what's with you, dad? Why are you all dressed up?
(Pause)
Special night? What are you talking about? You didn't tell me anything.
(Pause)
[Annoyed] Well you know how much I hate surprises, so that was a dumb idea. Just explain it already. What kind of "special night" is this supposed to be?
[Confused] Are you…going to a party or something?
(Pause)
[Annoyed] …huh? Is that some kind of joke? Your Girlfriend is coming over? The very same girlfriend who you conveniently forgot to mention before this very moment? This isn't even a surprise anymore. It's an ambush! Why didn't you say anything!?
(Pause)
No no no, don't try to blame me. I'm reacting this way Because you kept quiet. You’re the one who messed up here.
(Pause) Yeah, you told me you would start dating again. And I supported you, ‘cause I didn't think Mom would want you to stay alone forever. But that was a while ago, and you haven't said anything since. Now all of a sudden you’re close enough with some random woman to bring her home? (Pause) Well she’s random to me. You haven't even told me her name. (Pause)
Alice, huh. Makes sense, since she's clearly driven you insane! (Sigh)
Fine, whatever. What time is she supposed to get here anyway? (Door bell rings) …You have got to be kidding me.
(Pause)
"My best behavior?" You think I can promise something like that in this situation?
(Pause)
Ugh, fine. I promise. Let's just get this over with.
(Front Door opens)
[Polite] Hello, pleasure to finally meet you~. I've heard so~ much about you. All good things, of course. (Giggle)
Oh, can I take your coat?
(pause)
It's not a hassle at all. Please let me…oh.
[Nervous] Oh wow. Wh-what a lovely dress. Wh-where did you, um, buy it.
(Pause)
A gift from my father, hmm? And did he happen to mention where he got it?
(Pause)
Well it actually belonged to my mother. It's been collecting dust ever since she…
Well the point is, no one has worn it in a while. So he must have decided to give it a fresh start with you.
[Whisper to yourself] it's like he's trying to replace her…
[Normal volume] Hmm? Oh I was just thinking…"This is the place for her". (Giggle)
You belong here with us, and it's nice to finally have you over for dinner. Come on, let's go to the dining room and enjoy whatever dad tried to cook.
(Glasses clang, and various cutlery sounds as they ear together)
(Heavy sigh)
[exhausted] She's finally~ gone. I used up all of my energy for the month. I never want to put on a show like that ever again.
(Pause)
What do you mean? You told me to be on my best behavior. So what else was I supposed to do?
(Pause)
Well if I didn't put on a show, then I wouldn't have been able to hide how much I wanted her to leave.
(Pause)
No, I did not like her. For the record, I tried. I really did. But everything she talked about was so stupid and pointless. And did you really not mind how much she talked about her exes? Would it have killed her to focus more on you?
(Pause)
[Annoyed] Of course I'm upset!
I told you. I'm like this because you kept it a secret. We're supposed to tell each other everything, but you kept this from me. I'm sorry dad, but I don't think I can trust you.
(Pause)
No, I mean it. You went about this all wrong, and I don't know how to deal with this.
[Curious] …Hmm? Can you…say that again?
(Pause)
You mean that? You'll really do anything I say?
(Pause)
Hmmmm~
Well a new car, or some jewelry would definitely help me forgive you~ (giggle)
But really, I don't need anything fancy. If you're that serious about making things work out with her, then I also have to try my best. I mean Look at me, being all selfish after telling you to put yourself out there. it doesn't get any more childish than that. So all I really want from you, is her contact info.
(Pause)
Yes, I need to go meet with her, and be honest. Like I said, I definitely can't put on this act again. So I need her to see the real me, and hear all of my real concerns. After that, I think the 3 of us will he able to move on. What do you say?
(Pause)
Aww, thanks dad. You won't regret this. I love you! Good night~
(Long pause)
(Front door opes)
Dad, I'm home~. Da~d? Where are…oh. There you are. What are you doing all curled up on the couch like that. Are you…are you watching the news again? You hate watching the news. You always say it's too much negativity.
(Pause)
Huh? What do you mean you "want to be negative"?
Wait…is this still about Alice? Ugh, dad I told you; you have to get over her. I mean, clearly she's over you. Otherwise she wouldn't have ghosted you for the past week. Please look at me, dad.
(Pause)
Dad, come on. Just forget about her. And if losing her makes you feel this bad, then maybe we were wrong.
(Pause)
I'm saying…maybe you don't need to get back out there. I mean, between me, and mom's spirit, don't you have enough overbearing women to deal with? (Giggle)
You don't really need to add Alice to the list. Maybe one day you'll find someone new. But you don't have to rush it. For now, the 3 of us…we're still a family. Isn't that why we keep her pictures around? So come on. Show your real family some appreciation. Get off the couch and give me a hug.
(Pause)
(Couch squeak sfx)
Finally ~, thanks dad, it's nice to…hey, what's wrong? Why are you giving me that look?
(Pause)
What do you mean? What's wrong with what I'm wearing? I think it looks very nice. And it fits me perfectly.
(Pause)
Hmm? Oh yeah~ I remember now. I guess you did give this fancy dress to Alice. Well she, um, decided to return it when I went to visit her.
(Pause)
Yeah, Alice uh, remembered what I said about the dress belonging to mom. She practically begged me to take it back. In retrospect, maybe that was her way of saying she was done with us.
I'm sorry, I, uh, really thought I mentioned this when I got back from her place. It must have slipped my mind somehow.
(Pause)
"Not that kind of woman", huh…
And that's why you'll believe her over your own daughter?
She put you through hell this past week, and you'll still side with her? I can't believe you.
(Pause)
Wh-what do you mean? Of course she's the one who put you through hell. That's why you need to stop focusing on her.
(Pause)
N-no that's not what I meant. You don't need to interrogate me. What do I have to do with any of this?
(Pause)
I have not been acting weird!
Dad, please stop with all these questions!
Dad! You're wrong!
(pause)
[Yelling] No! I didn't do anything to her! She did it to herself!
(Deep breath and long exhale)
[Eerily calm] …Fine, dad. Since you can't let sleeping whores lie, I'll spell it out for you.
Alice won't be returning your calls.
She won't be speaking to any one anymore. I made sure of that.
I swear, I really did go over there just to talk. To make an effort, for your sake. You were so head over heels in love. What kind of daughter would I be if I didn't support that. But when I got there, all of that crumbled away. I rang the bell, and the door opened. But she wasn't on the other side. No, it was her other boyfriend. I don't want to go into the messy details, but let's just say that by the look and smell of the place, there was no other explanation for what was going on in there. And believe me, I looked for one. I tried so~ hard to give her the benefit of the doubt. But it was all true. She was sleeping with another guy, the day after you brought her to your home. That's the kind of woman she was.
(Pause)
Yes, that's right. Was.
(Pause)
"What did I do? "
I did what I had to do. To protect you from her and her lies.
I told the boyfriend that I had the wrong apartment, and left. I hid, and waited for him to leave. Even got a clear picture of him leaving, since you wouldn't believe me otherwise. Here, see for yourself.
(Pause)
Anyway, after that, I went back and rang the bell again. When she opened the door for me like an idiot, I pushed her back inside to…confront her.
I remember wanting to convince her to break things off with you. She said something about having needs. After that, I got a little…upset.
It's weird. People usually justify it by saying they "lost control".
But in that moment, I had Never. Felt. More in control. It's like I knew exactly what to do, and how to do it.
And when it was all over, I felt a peace, something unlike anything I had ever felt before. Then it was just a matter of cleaning up. By the time I left, it was like I was never there in the first place. The remaining evidence only pointed to the last guy who was in her apartment. I'm sure the detectives enjoyed such an open-shut case. I'm surprised you didn't see the story since you've been obsessively watching the news all week.
And you know what the best part is? I got away with it! (Laugh)
It's been a week since then, and all they've done is arrest the other guy. Makes sense of course. Her social media presence was mysteriously erased, so there was no way to connect her to you. And this dress, which never should have been in her apartment in the first place, is finally back home where it belongs.
Everything worked out perfectly!
That's why I'm sure of it. I'm sure this had to have been a blessing from mom. She's still looking after us, keeping us safe. Even after all this time, she hasn't abandoned us. She showed me what to do, and protected me from the consequences because it was the right thing to do. And that's why I'm certain that we'll be okay. Just the 3 of us. Forever.
(Pause)
Oh dad, I know you don't feel it now. But you will. I'll make sure of it.
(Pause)
You'll what? Turn me in? You would have your own daughter arrested for helping you out? Does that really make sense?
(Pause)
Of course I helped you. Now that woman won't cheat on you ever again. And she can't distract you from your real family. This is a good thing. Why can't you focus on that?
I don't think calling me names is going to change anything. But it's okay, I know you're stressed. We can talk more about this in the morning. Lemme give you a hug.
Hey, don't flinch away from me. Just let your daughter hug you.
[Whispering in ear slowly until the end] Oh wow. Your pulse is racing. You really are stressed. Or could it be…you're scared? I wonder what you could be scared of. (Giggle)
But it doesn't really matter.
I promise, from now on, mom and I will be sure to protect you, so you don't need to be afraid.
Not now.
Not ever.
I love you dad. We~ love you.
Good night.
END

This post is part of my USEFUL NOTES series. Please check some of the other texts out and also the old ones. I want to turn them into a youtube channel and I need help. I'm ADHD and not great at self-motivation and discipline. I might turn this post into my first video, so comment on the parts you liked or that you feel are unnecessary. Let's get started.

1) Disclaimer and Qualifications

First, a disclaimer: I do not speak Japanese, so I can't guarantee anything here with 100% certainty. I do however have an interesting combination of knowledge that allowed me to figure this out. They are:

1. Translation: I have done a lot of translation work and studied some translation theory.
2. Linguistics: I have a natural knack for languages, to understand how they work. I have lived in 3 countries other than my own and speak 6 languages (native+5)
3. Chinese: I'm not super fluent, but I reached upper-intermediate level (something around A2 or B1). I was able to participate in small meetings fully carried out in Chinese when I lived in Beijing. This is relevant because I'm not scared of kanji, I alreadt know a lot of them and can recognise the ones I don't know. I can also differentiate katakana and hiragana despite only having one hour of study and actually knowing only 4-6 hiragan characters. Been learning more in this journey.
4. Writing, narrative, and storytelling: Can't really quantify this, but I can have conversation with game designers, PhD's, and even a guy who won the most prestigious cinema prize in the world, if I bump into him, which happens sometimes. It's not that I know as much as they do, but I know enough that I can speak my mind without sounding like an idiot.

I probably wrote too much in this bit, but I don't want to give off the impression I'm an expert in something I am not.

2) Word Formation

The principle for forming words are formed in Chinese are very similar to our own. They have prefixes, suffixes, particles and radicals. The difference is that they use thei own language, while European languages tend to use a lot of Greek and Latin components. So you put the Greek components meaning distance and sound together, you get a telephone. In Japanese and Chinese, to get telephone you get the character representing electricity (電) and the one representing speech (話) to create the word for telephone (電話).
Now, let's look at the word for magic (魔術). It has a character that represents the mystic (魔) combined with the character that represents art (術). Nothing particularly new there. Referring to magic as the mystic arts is par for the course. No we only need the character representing god (神), right? Yeeeahh... the problem is that 魔神 is already taken.
If we look closely at the character 魔, it has the phonetic component 麻 and the meaning component 鬼, which is prounced "oni" in Japanese. Every anime fan knows that word, right? Another word very familiar to anime fans is 惡魔 (akuma). So yeah, the character representing the mystic also represents devils and spirits, so our 魔神 is LaPlace.
Is this an interesting topic? Should I add more context about the words? There are a lot of interesting things I noticed about the translations and that I could share in short messages/videos, together with the long analyses you've come to know and love. I'm also open to corrections.

We've been dating for 6 months. Couple weeks ago, we broke up for about a week because of poor communication skills but decided we should work on things before giving up on one another. We've been improving and communicating better, however, we went from seeing each other 3-5 times a week, sleeping over one another's places, to now once a week for a couple of hours. The reason is because she has a 12 year old daughter who witnessed us becoming upset/sad over one another whenever we didn't communicate our issues. And she says she needs to protect her daughter and keep her out of our relationship until we figure things out. I respect that, but that also means much less time being spent together. I feel there's this wall now built between us and it's been difficult for me. I'd like to see my girlfriend more often, and she says she wishes she could see me every single day if she could, but she says 'this is what we just have to do for now, for at least a few months to see what happens between us'. The fact that I want to see her more makes me feel 'needy' which I'm trying to suppress but I also realize I have emotional needs too and this just isn't what I was hoping for when we got back together. Any tips on how I can handle seeing my SO much less than prior months ? Is it fair to even evaluate if this is something I can even handle/want to do ?
Thank you so much

I went out over Memorial Day weekend for a 22mi loop in the Smokies. It served as a shakedown of some new gear which I’ll touch on as I go. My pack list was pretty much this.
Day 1: 11.9 miles, 4800 vertical feet. Pics from day 1
I will not lie. The climb kicked all of our asses. It was 100% doable and was mostly because I’ve been doing next to no hiking and only a little running recently. The last half of the day was smooth sailing. It was strangely dry up there with one semi-useable water source until just before the summit. We got to the fire tower and it’s easily some of the best views in the whole park. We chilled and ate lunch under the tower. I packed out some pancakes and hash brown casserole from breakfast that morning.
The trail between the fire tower and Laurel Gap shelter was super well maintained. We saw one bear and a wild boar and her babies. The shelter looked great.
There was plenty of room but I set up the Xmid because that was part of the point of the trip. I have zero complaints. The ground was super loose which backed up the fact that I take full sized groundhogs on every trip. Staking out the ridgeline guylines helped a ton I’m sure. We stayed completely dry and even though it poured all night, condensation was no issue. I did opt to pitch the tent a bit high to get a little more ventilation which caused some spatter on our gear in the vestibules, but it wasn’t a big issue. My new Katabatic Flex 22 kept me toasty and did not seem to pick up any water (weight before vs after the trip was the same). I had Skurka’s beans and rice for dinner which is always excellent. I added textured vegetable protein and tomato powder to give it some more substance.
Day 2: 11.4 miles
This was smooth sailing (mostly). The initial descent on Balsam Mountain Trail and Gunter Fork Trail was steep, slippery, and had 5-6 blowdowns. We had to take our packs off to shimmy through/under quite a few. We averaged <2mph here easily. Once things leveled out a bit it was smooth until we came to something like 8 water crossings in 4 miles. Some of which were around/over knee deep because of the rain the night before and that morning. I love water crossings so this was a blast personally. My feet stayed comfortable between the Injiji liners and thin darn toughs. This’ll be my go-to combo going forward. There was obviously tons of water day 2.
The Mariposa was great. I have had a Kumo for years so I knew I’d like it. The Trail Sender pants dried quickly and the solar eclipse fleece+Frogg toggs were a great combo for me as usual. The only other new piece of gear was Showa 282 gloves which are 10/10. For $20 from Amazon they outperform every other glove/mitten I’ve tried on every metric I care about (comfort, grip, dexterity, and waterproofness). They got dunked (not past the cuff) when I ate shit on a creek crossing and kept my hands warm and dry all day. Every bit of my body can be cold and wet and if my hands are warm I’m happy so these were excellent.
Pics from day 2
I took all the pics with an iPhone 13 Pro Max and the Moment camera app. Having manual focus makes a huge difference.

I’m currently an exchange student in London, where there are a lot of pub crawls. The last time I went to a pub crawl in Scotland and got badly wasted, couldn’t even walk back to my hotel. My friends asked me to join a pub crawl in London tonight with them. But IDK, there is a girl in my class and every time we go to a pub, she makes out with a very attractive dude, like she kisses him in front of all other friends, including me. All the guys she made out with are my type, guess we have the same type. She kisses him like she wants to eat his face alive right there. Weirdly, I wish I could experience that too… but unfortunately, I’m not out, and I don’t have any plans on coming out in the near future. It somehow affected the way I look, that I look nothing like a gay dude in person. I want to enjoy what that girl had… but I’m just not out, and I’m very sad. I want to go to the pub crawl tonight with my friends but that girl is also going so she definitely is gonna make out with an attractive dude tonight and i don’t wanna see it. So yeah, I guess I’m free, depressed, sad and lonely tonight in London.
Edit: The last time I went to a pub crawl in Scotland and a girl came up to my friend and asked him for his insta. I didn’t think much about it but then the next morning I saw that she had added me on insta. My friend also followed her on insta and so I asked him about her, and he said "She wanted you dude". Honestly, if it was a guy, I would immediately take the chance and be with him. Unfortunately, there was a never guy that once hit on me in my entire life so I guess I’m just sitting here and continuing to be sad lol 🫠

I suffer from severe social anxiety and when I have to leave the house I become tremendously stressed. So much so that I will rip off my toenails as a stress relief. I've done this for as long as I can remember and have been seeking treatment for about a decade now. I'm in therapy and DBT. Nothing seems to help. Would there be a chance I could just have my toenails removed to prevent further damage and pain? Trust me, it does not feel good to rip off an entire toenail. It is also quite messy. Thank you.
I am: -Male -220lbs -5'8"
Conditions: -anxiety -depression -Agoraphobia -onychotillomania -PTSD
Meds: -effexor -Lamictal -prazosin

-quetiapine (probably spelled wrong)

Sorry this is such a big paragraph. I just don't know how else to explain/define it :/
So I have 2 budgies one's 7yr old and the other is I'm not sure.. I've had the other one for about 2-3 months I think and they've bonded REALLY well. they preen eachother etc. but problems come when it's time for food and my older budgie (7yr old) goes to her food and eats then my other budgie comes over and gets her food but my older one "attacks" her.. she's done this for ages now and seems to have no sign of getting rid of it. (they're both females.) my older one isn't always aggressive. (she can't fly) she just has this love hate topsy turvy relationship with my younger one. Also just to add. that when my youngest gets "attacked" (idk what other word to use.) by my older one. she doesn't really care.. and then goes back to my older one almost instantly. she's lacks a bit on the brain cell department. oh and my oldest also "attacks" my younger one on perches if the younger one is to close. which intern causes my oldest to fall off. because she has bad grip because she's getting old. (She also lacks in the brain cell department)
my other issue is I sometimes find myself irritated by their little chirps and squawks. I know this isn't the behavior of a good budgie owner. but I never act. I only keep the aggressive to myself. you know the old saying keep hands to yourself. Sometimes when I'm working or even just laying in bed. one of them will just burst out squawking for no reason. and it not only shocks me but annoys me. and I can't "tell them off" because I don't know which one did it (they both sound the same). before you say it. Yes i know. this is a me problem.
Thanks so much for your time reading this and try not to be to harsh as I'm learning new things all the time and I'm open to literally anything :D