Great smoky national park weather

Monday, May 22 - Sunday, May 28

Questions

score	comments	title & link
445	19 comments	Picked up this set at a garage sale...
55	23 comments	Anyone got an idea what tea this may be??
18	20 comments	What is it called when a tea is drying to your mouth? And recs for teas that do NOT do this

 

Recommendations

score	comments	title & link
88	16 comments	A List of Tea Sellers for Those Who Plan on or Wish to Visit Taiwan
23	4 comments	Tea Maker Cleaning Day!
10	18 comments	I’m newly obsessed. What else should I try?

 

Videos

score	comments	title & link
76	4 comments	A little help from others can be a great blessing
11	2 comments	Tea documentary
10	9 comments	1st flush carbonated darjeeling. The champagne of tea.

 

Photos

score	comments	title & link
602	9 comments	The answer to AI
354	20 comments	Hyderabad Chai in India
320	9 comments	Took a day trip and picked up a new mug!

 

Identification

score	comments	title & link
284	15 comments	Recently inherited this teapot...
5	7 comments	Mystery tea packet for identification
5	5 comments	What tea is this?

 

Reviews

score	comments	title & link
119	8 comments	2023 shincha from Tosa Kuroiwa, Sakawa town Yabukita cultivar
37	14 comments	W2T 2023 Predawn Dark
31	7 comments	These tea buds are beautiful

 

Discussions

score	comments	title & link
91	19 comments	Went to Northeast Tea House in Minneapolis
38	11 comments	A smidge of tea :)
27	37 comments	Anybody else prefer tea at room temperature over hot?

 

Articles

score	comments	title & link
8	0 comments	Kenya tea company suspends operations after protesters burn machines
3	0 comments	Opening the wood fired kiln.

 

Other Posts

score	comments	title & link
419	36 comments	My handmadet mug, holds a litre and a half of tea. Its called "The Enforcer"
350	21 comments	Chinese handmade Clay Teapot
306	13 comments	[Photo] We all enjoy our tea differently.
273	19 comments	[Photo] Treating myself to some Gyokuro Yamashiro green tea this morning for my birthday!
254	16 comments	[Photo] Mugs!

 

Daily Discussion Comments

score	comment
7	Larielia said Dian Hong Golden Snail from Teavivre. My morning tea while watching Ms Marvel.
7	iwasjusttwittering said Quia est ut et dolorem soluta deleniti. Ut dolor iure omnis libero veritatis aut fuga dolores. Aut qui nesciunt eius sunt. Labore dolor dolores et sapiente quia ea labore. Et doloremque sed sit est. ...
6	iwasjusttwittering said Assam again after a couple of days. This time, I let it overbrew, because I was looking after a little hyperactive corgi puppy that can't hold pee yet. Priorities. The tea was meh, but at least it did...
6	Chrisvoble said Trying Puer for the first time today, a shou from 2014. Very different! Just on brew 7 in my Gongfu session. Flavors that come to mind are funky graham crackers. Excited to try more, but not sure if ...
6	iwasjusttwittering said Our dog has died of old age, and I'm burying her. It's lots of work, she's large and the weather is quite warm after a cold spring. It doesn't help that I skipped sleep the other night. I've brought ...

 

Awarded Posts

score/comments	awards	title & link
16 - 6 comments	1 Gold	[Photo] Trying out the "automatic" gongfu tea set today. It can be a bit finicky, anyone ever use one before? Silver needle steeping inside for bedtime.
44 - 9 comments	1 Helpful (Pro)	[Photo] Disc golf and gongfucha, a new addiction for me!

 

​
MY SEARCH AREA
I am looking to rent a “work studio” in Sofia, where I can primarily WORK in a focused and creative manner while being directly in the city.
With a good mix of things to do, once I step out of the house. No Paradise Mall, no Krastova Vada, no Mladost, no nada….I know SOFIA since 2017 and have already lived there during 2022, so I know the city and the real estate “game” very well.
Instead of spending endless hours on imot.bg and with “brokers” who try to sell me something else, let me try to throw this out here, and see what I can get from the Reddit crowd.
Happy to pay above the usual commission, for the right place.
MY REQUIREMENTS (MUST):
I do not need to be able to register at this address. It can be an “office”, as I have an EOOD.
Contract start date: June/July/August 2023
Location: Strictly within the specified area.
Size: 40 to 80 square meters
Monthly rent: I am flexible
NO FURNITURE (empty)
If on a higher floor (<1st) , then with elevator
Modern standard electric installations and plumbing (if possible. I am well aware of the limitations with this in Sofia).
Set-Up / Floor Plan:

• 1 bedroom (with window, no smaller than 15 square meters)
• 1 work/living room (with windows, no smaller than 25 square meters
  • Three walls to put whiteboards on, one wall with windows
• Kitchen open or separate
• Bathroom with Shower(!)
• no mold, no cracks in the walls... ;-)

Nice to have:
A terrace or large balcony

Yep. It's over. My wife and I decided to go for its last night on a lark. So glad we did.
Put it on your calendar for next Memorial Day weekend. It was so much fun. Great setting, perfect weather, and the entire city coming together for a great event.
I don't think lots of people realize what a gift to the city the symphony is.

This isn't some complete list, I just provided a quick rundown of some Friday bands and folk seemed to find it useful so here's a few more. It's not exhaustive, probably terribly inaccurate, but might help you decide where to start with some lesser known bands. Feel free to add your own in the comments:
Thursday Halestorm hard hitting rawk
Skindred party vibes, bit of funk bit of metal
Jinjer hard female fronted metal, for fans of Arch Enemy and Spiritbox to an extent
Hundred Reasons old school pre-emo for fans of InMe
Punk Rock Factory pop punk covers of Disney songs, some laugh
Friday Architects are kinda like BMTH. Good, melodic, hard rock with a mixture of growls and singing. Listen to their latest stuff.
Within Temptation are a bit like Evanescence, melodic female vocals, operatic rock.
Pendulum are INSANE live, drum n bass with real instruments. Good if you like The Prodigy.
Neck Deep are great, boppy pop punk like Sum 41 and Blink 182.
As December Falls and Hot Milk are similar pop punk vibes but with female vocals.
Pup is straight up pop punk. Listen to "Kids".
The Blackout are anthemic early screamo, like Funeral For A Friend, the two vocals playing off each other.
VV is Vile Vallo. He was in HIM. Melodic male vocals, sad songs that predate emo.
Taipei Houston sounds a bit like Jack White.
On the heavier side you have Empire State Bastard, a supergroup who have only released one song, and Pupil Slicer have also got you covered for extreme metal. I think Ingested are similar vibes? Not sure.
GWAR will be good for over the top theatrics. If you remember Lordi from the Eurovisions a while back then it's a similar vibe.
Elvana is an Elvis tribute act except they cover Nirvana songs.
Nova Twins are funky bass based nu metal newcomers. Kinda.
Saturday alexisonfire used to be screamo with battling growl vocals vs clean vocals but have become more mellow as time goes on
Bambie Thug is sorta rap, sorta some dance elements, very magick themed imagery, for fans of Dana Dentata who played last year
Blackgold is proper old school nu metal but almost leaning towards pop rap, I get Goldie Looking Chain doing covers of Linkin Park vibes
Bob Vylan folk rap metal, very angry, political, fantastic
Sunday Bad Religion despite being around over 40 years some to be lowkey to a lot of people, proper fast old pop punk listen to 10 In 2020 to get their vibes, for fans of early Offspring
Hatebreed are GOAT hardcore with very positive messages listen to Perseverance, I Will Be Heard and Never Alone for their vibes
Crashface are like hardcore indy I guess, for fans of Idles or SLAVES (now known as Soft Play)
Dinosaur Pile-Up are sorta pseudo grunge, more Silverchair than Nirvana vibes, Back Foot is their big hitter but I vibe with Pouring Gasoline
Graphic Nature are Meshuggah esque doom math metal
Jazmin Bean kinda trap rap from what I've heard
Hawxx are like Halestorm but, imo, more rawk less catchy but more raw
Joey Valance & Brae, do you like Beastie Boys? Then you like JV&B
The Meffs proper oi oi punk but very good and very loud for a 2 piece
Set It Off have that early Panic, Fall Out Boy vibe but without the insufferable whining, just catchy bops

Hello everyone,
Last January, I purchased a CX-60. As it is still difficult to find user reviews of this model, I took the time to write this review in the hope that it can be helpful to you if you are considering buying this car. I hope that my experience can answer some of your questions and assist you in your decision-making process.
Exterior Design (4/5)
The design is particularly successful. The car has a sleek look and gives the impression of being in motion even when stationary, just as the designers promised during the design phase. It has nothing to envy compared to its competitors, such as the Audi Q5. Although I'm not a big fan of black rims, I must admit that they blend harmoniously with the Takumi package on this model. The black accents on the rims, tinted windows, and mirrors create a visual signature that doesn't go unnoticed. Unlike most models, it stands out more in person than in photos, especially in terms of size. It is truly massive. For comparison, it is longer and taller than an Audi Q5. When you see it for the first time, the "wow" effect is guaranteed. However, the rear of the vehicle is less expressive and does not do justice to the front and side views. Fortunately, the quad exhaust at the back helps maintain the sporty character of the model.
Interior Design (5/5)
The interior layout is clean, simple, and modern. It features a large central screen, a minimally customizable driver display, and a head-up display integrated directly on the windshield. This efficiency will surely appeal to those who struggle with screens everywhere displaying unnecessary information. Similarly, you cannot customize the ambient lighting in the evening. The lights are fixed, in a neutral color, and the adjustment only offers 3 intensities. It may not be to everyone's liking, but personally, I find it liberating to be free from countless customization possibilities that always leave a sense of dissatisfaction. As for the materials, they come in understated colors and durable textures, both in terms of aesthetics and longevity (at least for now, time will tell). The center console is impressively wide and gives a sense of space rarely felt in vehicles of similar size. When driving this car, you feel like you're aboard a large American SUV like the Suburban or Ford Explorer. Unfortunately, there are not many storage compartments. The huge center console only offers a tiny compartment that can hold a few small items and keys at most. The door pockets are also very low and not very practical.
Ergonomics (4/5)
The cabin offers generous space for all occupants, including the rear seats where even adults over 1.80m tall have ample legroom. The seats, which are rather firm and have limited adjustments, can be surprising at first, especially if you're coming from a vehicle with a multitude of settings. In the first few days, I experienced sharp back pain, especially since the car lacks flexibility as I'll mention later. After three weeks of adjustment, the pain disappeared, and I even noticed an improvement in my posture. In my previous vehicle, my seat was so comfortable, like a sofa, but now I realize it was bad for my back. Inside this car, with its comfort inspired by Japanese tatami mats, I ultimately feel better, less slouched, and more alert. The trunk offers significant capacity, especially compared to similar models. However, it doesn't have a dual compartment or a sub-trunk to store charging cables. The tailgate rises very high, over 3 meters. It struggles to lock in place when encountering resistance, which can damage it from the first uses. I recommend adjusting it by pressing the closing button while it's opening, to lock it at the desired height, and holding down that button for 5 seconds (until you hear a series of beeps) to limit the opening range.
Technologies and Equipment (3/5)
The connectivity is quite comprehensive, although Apple CarPlay suffers from some instability and unexplained bugs (random disconnections, unexpected cuts, slowdowns, random automatic connection). Wireless charging also sometimes poses a problem. It works randomly and seems to generate a lot of heat on the phone. When not in use, an error message keeps flashing, indicating that no phone is being charged.
As for driving aids, the lane-keeping system works very well, although it is not autonomous. If you don't have your hands on the wheel, the car behaves like a billiard ball, bouncing from one lane to another. However, if it deviates from its trajectory because you're not attentive enough, it will alert you and secure the car by making a steering correction. It's very reassuring and always activated at the right time. Moreover, it's even a valuable aid on high-speed winding turns, on certain departmental roads. Other vehicles end up cutting through the turns or having to slow down excessively, while you effortlessly stay precisely in your lane.
I was very disappointed with the cruise control, which is not adaptive. Later, I discovered that it is an option that is disabled in the software since all the necessary sensors are already present. You can confirm this through ActiveSense, which provides a complete view of surrounding vehicles. So, I wanted to add this option later, willing to bear the cost, but Mazda doesn't allow it. This strategy, or lack of a sales strategy, is surprising.
The temperature management inside the car is surprising. Without changing the temperature settings in automatic mode, during a long drive, there is a yo-yo effect that is difficult to explain. One moment, it feels quite cool, and a few minutes later, it becomes too hot. I wonder if it's related to the external brightness because on a hot spring day, the air conditioning temperature suddenly rose when the sky suddenly became overcast. However, it was still hot outside. I think there's an overly reactive adaptive mode at play.
The remote car management is quite good. It's possible to activate the heating or air conditioning, which will run for a maximum of 30 minutes before shutting off and sending a notification to your phone. You can extend it if you have a good signal. The car surprisingly receives a signal in unexpected places, even in underground parking lots where my phone has no network. This remote temperature mode is ideal for defrosting the car or leaving a dog inside during cold weather or in the summer when the temperature rises quickly in a closed and parked car. I've tested it in extreme cold and hot seasonal temperatures, and it works very well so far. Of course, it consumes a lot of energy, but you can't have everything without a trade-off. It's suitable for occasional use. The rest of the remote features include locking the car, checking tire pressure, consulting the range, and receiving alerts if the alarm is triggered, which is very reassuring. It's also possible to locate the car precisely. It's a shame that we can't access the cameras, as in other fully electric models.
It's not clear in the vehicle manual, but to deactivate the alarm, you need to press the alarm button on the remote right after locking the car. The indicator will blink 4 times, and then it will be turned off. It's better to do it before leaving your dog alone, or else the alarm will be triggered if the dog moves inside the vehicle.
Performance and Driving Dynamics (4/5)
I own the 327-horsepower PHEV model: 200 horsepower from the atmospheric gasoline engine and 127 horsepower from the electric motor. Although the low-end power is reduced with an atmospheric engine, the electric motor more than makes up for it with its responsiveness and instant torque. Despite its weight, the car is very agile. It even outperforms some more powerful or lighter petrol-powered cars in terms of acceleration. Of course, such models regain the advantage in corners, but not in straight lines. The acceleration is impressive, although the road noise insulation somewhat dampens the sensation. Other vehicles seem almost stationary when you step on the accelerator.
I was initially disappointed with the braking performance, which was less impressive than in my previous vehicle. However, by pressing the pedal harder and adjusting the regenerative braking to the maximum, I managed to get used to it.
The handling is remarkable. Although it's not a sports car capable of maintaining very high speeds in corners, it still surpasses similar-sized competing models. Thanks to the four-wheel drive and four-wheel steering, the turning angle and trajectory in corners are impressive for a car of this size. One of the drawbacks of the vehicle lies in the stiffness of the suspension. Despite the excellent noise isolation, you feel the road imperfections more than you would expect when driving an SUV. Even at low speeds, speed bumps are very uncomfortable and cause items in the trunk to bounce around. Mazda seems to have made this choice to prevent the relatively high car from swaying in corners and reduce the risk of rollovers at high speeds. Adaptive suspension could have solved this problem. However, considering the pricing position against the competition, I understand why the brand overlooked this aspect. Moreover, after 3000 km, I noticed that the suspension has become slightly softer, improving comfort to some extent.
Energy Efficiency and Range (2/5)
The consumption and hybridization aspects encompass the majority of the vehicle's drawbacks. The car discharges quickly, and the actual range is much lower than what the manufacturer claims. Like many owners, I also face a discharge issue when the car is parked. It loses about 30% of charge in 24 hours (and even drains the 12-volt starter battery - as if the headlights were left on). This problem is due to software that prevents the car from entering sleep mode. I have already taken my vehicle to Mazda for reprogramming, and I will have to do it again soon because the issue is still unresolved (now I lose 15% in 24 hours). This problem is not part of the manufacturer's recalls, but many owners are affected. Dealing with a less established manufacturer, this can quickly become a headache. I had to go through many steps and cancel orders for other CX-60s for my company before being taken into consideration by the after-sales service. During my third call, Mazda France assistance even replied to me that they are not Audi. The message is quite clear.
Beyond this specific issue, the management of hybridization lacks customization and seems suitable for a specific use case only. If you live in a house, always have the car plugged in, and regularly make short trips, this plug-in hybrid is suitable. However, if you cannot plug it in daily or if you regularly drive more than 50 km round trip, you might be disappointed. Especially considering the consumption of this car in electric mode, it is often more expensive to charge it than to refuel with gasoline. The cost per 100 km is 2 to 4 times higher at current energy prices. Personally, I opted for the hybrid due to the tax incentives and benefits, but I also wanted to take advantage of remote heating and air conditioning options, especially when I have to leave my dog in the car for a few minutes. Since I cannot recharge it daily in the parking lot of my building, it would be desirable to be able to keep a charged battery and drive in combustion engine mode, but no mode truly allows that. It is possible to choose to recharge the car while driving, consuming approximately 13 liters per 100 km, but you cannot choose to drive solely on the combustion engine without using the high-capacity battery. The sport mode comes close, but the gears are shifted at high RPM, making the driving experience jerky and particularly noisy, and the battery is used as soon as you accelerate a bit (to activate the 137-horsepower motor). An exclusively combustion engine mode would have been relevant, similar to the exclusively electric mode. Furthermore, recharging the battery while driving doesn't work correctly. The recharge is very fast, much faster than when it's connected to 7 kW chargers. However, the displayed percentage does not correspond to the actual charge, which explains why it continues to recharge beyond the set percentage. For example, if you're at 30% and ask the car to recharge up to 50% while driving, it will work at a high rate until it reaches 50%. In normal mode, it will stop recharging the battery, but will continue operating at a high rate to not drop below 50%. So, you end up consuming more without reason, with the engine noise constantly high, which is quite unpleasant. In sport mode, it will continue recharging the battery above 50% without any limit. However, once the car is stopped and restarted, you'll notice that you weren't at 50%, but rather at 35%. The fast recharge was, therefore, fictitious. The problem is that this is a first for Mazda in terms of technology, and no one there is able to provide answers on this matter. The garage I visit explains that Mazda is highly centralized and communicates very little in terms of engineering with the garages. It is, therefore, common for a problem to persist for several months (or more) before being addressed at the technical management level in Japan and then transmitted to local dealerships. However, when deciding to market a technologically immature car, it would be wise to establish a continuous improvement process based on user feedback. In fact, on forums, we can see that Japanese users receive preferential treatment compared to the rest of the world. In conclusion, the battery of this car, which needs to be recharged at a high cost, is only useful for the first 40 kilometers. So, you spend over 3 hours recharging a battery at an exorbitant rate for only 25 or 30 minutes of driving without using gasoline. One might wonder if it's simply a trick to equip professionals, allowing them to benefit from incentives and reduced tax on company vehicles (the primary reason for my purchase). I think many people will never plug it in.
Cost and Value for Money (4/5)
The value for money of this model is indeed very interesting when compared to vehicles of the same standing from other brands, such as Audi. For example, an Audi Q5 offers a similar level but with an additional cost of €25,000. For the same price as a Mazda CX-60, you would only get a Q3 from Audi, which is clearly not comparable. However, it is important to note that the depreciation of this vehicle could be significant, and it might even become difficult to resell it in a few years. This is also true for all plug-in hybrid models. Therefore, I would recommend this model, provided that you negotiate the price well or opt for a lease (the offers are very attractive, and personally, I chose this payment method). The PHEV configuration of the vehicle is suitable for individuals who have daily access to a charging point and have diverse travel needs, ranging from short to long trips. Before the increase in electricity prices, the cost per 100 km was slightly more advantageous compared to gasoline, but today it is the opposite (except when charging from a domestic socket).
Conclusion
I am delighted with this car considering the price at which I acquired it. The positioning is unbeatable, and there are good deals to be made to drive this luxury sports SUV at the price of a "regular" SUV. With a domestic electric socket, choosing the plug-in hybrid is a good middle ground. It's just a shame that the hybrid management is not more refined. Perhaps future updates will address these teething problems.

Layout:
— Individual Team News + Stone’s Cold Takes
— Miscellaneous/Other NFL News
— Restaurant of the Week - Washington D.C.
Arizona Cardinals:

• Released WR DeAndre Hopkins and he listed out info about what he wants in his next team:
  
  • Josh Allen, Jalen Hurts, Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, Justin Herbert
  • He wants stable management and a great defense
• Some folks in AZ were upset with Hopkins because he sat out the last couple of games
  
• S Budda Baker says he will be at camp when its time for him to be there
  

After some decent news the last couple weeks for this organization there wasn’t really anything great from this week besides maybe the fact that if WR DeAndre Hopkins was a distraction to the team he now no longer is one. It will be interesting to see how things play out this year.
Atlanta Falcons:

• FB Keith Smith was arrested on traffic charges
  
  • Driving with a suspended license he claims was a misunderstanding
• K Younghoe Koo didn’t ask for money from RB Bijan Robinson to give him his number but asked him to pick a charity at some point down the road to donate to
  
• Will have joint practices with the Dolphins
  
• Signed:
  
  • WR JJ Arcega-Whiteside

It sounds like the situation with Keith Smith should get resolved rather quickly and was more of a misunderstanding than anything else. It will be fun for this young team to have joint practices with Miami and it will be a good way for their defense to get an initial test from an elite offense. I am sure the Dolphins won’t reveal all of their tricks but either way they will have to worry about guarding an elite offense with elite playmakers.
Baltimore Ravens:

• QB Lamar Jackson expects a more pass-heavy offense under new OC Todd Monken
• WR Michael Thomas separate his shoulder and could require labrum surgery
• WR Rashod Bateman who just played just 6 games was on the field for OTAs on Monday
• Waived Daelin Hayes
• S Kyle Hamilton excited for expanded role with the team
• Tony Jefferson is retiring and joining the team as a scout
• Signed:
  
  • DL Angelo Blackson
  • QB Josh Johnson

It is crazy to think about how just about a month ago the news around the Ravens was all negative and that it seemed like the relationship with Lamar was fractured. Now here we are and Lamar seems about as happy as can be and is excited about the offense that is being installed under new OC Todd Monken. It will be exciting for him as well to have WR Rashod Bateman back who I still think can be a key playmaker on the team. It appears the Ravens could be set for big things even in a tough division.
Buffalo Bills:

• No surprise, QB Josh Allen is hyper-focused and wants to win a Super Bowl
• S Damar Hamlin is back out working out on the field
• WR Stefon Diggs did not attend OTAs
• EDGE Von Miller guarantees he will play by week 6 but is not rushing anything
• Signed:
  
  • S Dean Marlowe
  • Joel Wilson

Great to see the that S Damar Hamlin was back out practicing. I know it has been some time since his collapse on the field but it still feels like yesterday that I was watching that game in complete shock at what I had witnessed and worry for him and his family. WR Stefon Diggs being absent at OTAs is not a big deal to me. QB Josh Allen has a lot of other guys he needs to get familiar and work in with anyways and a lot of star players don’t attend OTAs to either get rest/recovery or to do their own workouts with their private coaches. I imagine he and Kincaid will be deadly this year and who knows they may even have WR DeAndre Hopkins joining them as the Bills were one of two teams that inquired and had talks about a trade for him.
Carolina Panthers:

• TE Hayden Hurst is recovering from sports hernia surgery
• QB Bryce Young is taking most of the first team reps

Not too much news here other than what we saw and heard from OTAs about Bryce Young getting to take most of the 1st team reps. It appears that he looked good and his teammates were saying great things about him. It is tough to judge any quarterback though in the offseason because no matter what folks always say their young or new quarterback is looking amazing and things are progressing nicely. I will say though I have heard the most good things coming out from camps about him and Anthony Richardson of the Colts.
Chicago Bears:

• QB Justin Fields excited about the growth WR Chase Claypool had over offseason
• Got permission to begin demolition of Arlington Park racetrack

Good news for Chicago fans who are excited for their move. It seems that things are proceeding nicely with the process of moving to a new stadium. Also, great to hear that Chase Claypool may be able to make more of a difference this year. It would be hard to be less effective than what he was last year for this team. I still believe he can be a major impact player like many expected him to be when he entered the league. It will be key for him to become Fields’ go to receiver over some of the other talent they have on the team.
Cincinnati Bengals:

• Want to sign WR Tee Higgins and LB Logan Wilson to long term extensions
• Have made their initial push for QB Joe Burrow

This team has a lot to do in terms of contracts that they need to get figured out. The team view Tee Higgins in very high regard and so does Joe Burrow as they should. They also really want to get Logan Wilson signed. However, what will come out to being the biggest of the contracts they do this offseason is that of Joe Burrow. What will continue to make things tough here is the longer it takes for Justin Hebert to get his deal done because Burrow will likely be the last of the 4 quarterbacks to sign his because it is presumed he will get the most money and has an agent who like to wait til the last minute.
Cleveland Browns:

• WR Elijah Moore feels good now that he feels wanted with his new team
• EDGE Za’Darius Smith is excited to be facing the Ravens this year

All good news for Browns fans so far. The team is looking good and their appears to be a lot of good vibes coming out of practice. WR DeAndre Hopkins is even considering coming to Cleveland for the chance to play with his old QB. Also, WR Elijah Moore is looking crisp and at least for the moment it appears he is much happier. It will all depend on if he actually gets the ball thrown to him during the season though.
Dallas Cowboys:

• HC Mike McCarthy is keeping offense in Dak’s language despite the changeup in play callers

Not too much news here which is good for this franchise because they are almost always the center of attention. The main thing I took away from this week was just that things seems to be going well with McCarthy and Dak working together on the offense but that there have been some growing pains at least initially getting used to new systems as expected.
Denver Broncos:

• Waived Hunter Thedford with injury settlement
• Released K Brandon McManus
• K Brett Maher worked out for the team
• QB Russell Wilson has lost a lot of weight this offseason
• HC Sean Payton excited about what S Kareem Jackson can do to help team
• RB Javonte Williams was limited in OTAs starting on Thursday
• Signed:
  
  • T Cam Fleming to a 1-year $4m deal
  • DT Tyler Lancaster

It appeared to shock just about everyone when the news broke about K Brandon McManus getting released because he had become a fan favorite over the years in Denver. QB Russell Wilson has lost a lot of weight and it is evident just from seeing him this offseason. I didn’t think his weight was the issue hindering him last year but hopefully he can feel he is playing at a healthier weight. What I think most Denver fans were excited to see was RB Javonte Williams back on the practice field. He is going to end up being the real difference maker this year and whether this team competes with the top of the AFC or not will largely depend on him making the rest of the offense’s life easy or not.
Detroit Lions:

• Former WR Calvin Johnson was at OTAs this week after having been away from the organization following a rough falling out post-retirement
• RB David Montgomery said that losing with the Bears “sucked the fun out of the game”
• WR Jameson Williams says that he didn’t know about the gambling policy; HC Dan Campbell feels he is miles ahead in terms of his talent already
• Traded an undisclosed draft pick for K Riley Patterson
  
  • Signed a 1-year $2.35m deal
• RB David Montgomery and LB Malcolm Rodriguez left practice due to injury
  
• Team has done their homework on free agent WR DeAndre Hopkins
  
• NFL is investigation another Lions player about league gambling rules violations
  
• Signed:
  
  • OL Germain Ifedi
  • Max Pircher through international player pathway program

A lot of news here. Let’s start with the bad news. It appears that they may be having more penalties come down on their team/players due to the league’s gambling policy as their is an ongoing investigation into a 5th player from the team. Also, David Montgomery and Malcolm Rodriguez left the field with injuries. It is still early though and they appear to be minor injuries so hopefully it won’t affect them in the long term. Now some good news. It sounds like WR Jameson Williams is progressing nicely and the team got a new kicker in Riley Patterson from the Jaguars who should help the improve there. Lastly and maybe the biggest news is that Calvin “Megatron” Johnson was at OTAs hanging out with coaches and players. Many are hoping those good vibes carry over into the season.
Green Bay Packers:

• Signed:
  
  • WR Jadakis Bonds
• Cut TE Nick Guggemos
  
• Will host the 2025 NFL Draft
  
• HC Matt LaFleur is please with Jordan Love but still need to work on a lot of things
  

Exciting news that Green Bay will get the draft in 2025! I was thinking they would try and stick to more southern states but they clearly are willing to go North with Detroit and now Green Bay being the hosts of the next two. HC Matt LaFleur appears to be being honest with everything and trying to temper expectations a bit with Jordan Love taking over. This could be to help take pressure off of Love and also just be the flat out truth that with any young quarterback it is going to take some time.
Houston Texans:

• Appears DeMeco Ryans may not be too sure about pursuing Jadeveon Clowney
• HC DeMeco Ryans expects the o-line to be a strength for this team
• Currently it is a QB competition between Davis Mills and CJ Stroud
  
  • Other teams have been inquiring about QB Davis Mills

I am not surprised about DeMeco Ryans hesitancy about pursuing Jadeveon Clowney. First of all he just may not want to reveal his cards to others in the league about what he is thinking. The other thing is that he is one that likes for his defense to have an identity and a really good work ethic. I am not saying that Clowney can’t fit that mold but it just makes the selection process for what Ryans wants on defense that much more thorough. The other news that surprised some but something I mentioned a couple of weeks ago is that QB Davis Mills will compete with Stroud for the starting job and is viewed as a desirable QB to other teams around the league. I know his stats haven’t been the best but I am not sure any of the young quarterbacks would have done well with what the Texans organization has been the last couple years. At the end of the day CJ Stroud will end up being the team’s starter due to draft status and probably will be the more talented, better option.
Indianapolis Colts:

• No timetable for Shaquille Leonard to resume practicing
• QB Anthony Richardson was running a similar offense to what Jalen Hurts has run in Philly and was very impressive (splitting 1st team reps)
• Signed:
  
  • TE Kaden Smith

Overall things seems to be good for the organization. The main thing we are all waiting on is when Shaq Leonard will be able to get back out there and start practicing. It makes sense not to have him practicing now since things are optional anyways. The hype has been there for QB Anthony Richardson thus far and it appears he may be closer to starting right away than a lot of people thought.
Jacksonville Jaguars:

• Traded K Riley Patterson to the Lions for an undisclosed draft pick
• RB Travis Etienne looking forward to doing some fine-tuning this year
• Signed Brandon McManus

Not too much news out of Jacksonville other than the change at the kicker position. Things got busy and they were able to trade K Riley Patterson to the Lions rather than release like the reports had said prior. Then they went out and got a proven veteran in K Brandon McManus who had just been released from the Broncos squad. This team is going to be interesting this year and will go as far QB Trevor Lawrence can take them. Does not hurt to have the veteran kicker for the big moments that could be coming for this organization.
Kansas City Chiefs:

• HC Andy Reid is not a fan of the kickoff rule change hinting at the NFL getting closer to being flag football
  
  • TE Travis Kelce is not happy about it either
• QB Patrick Mahomes addressed contract saying he cares more about Super Bowls
  
• LB Nick Bolton doesn’t think the defense gets enough credit
  
• QB Patrick Mahomes says that it has been a smooth transition to new OC Matt Nagy
  
• HC Andy Reid feels fullbacks have been phased out of the NFL and that the Chiefs will not be using one
  

HC Andy Reid who normally is pretty quiet and doesn’t get too involved was in front of the media a lot this week it felt like. First, he is not a fan of the new kickoff rule and it appears most coaches are not. Second, he talked about how the team will not be using a FB because they are being phased out of the NFL and he feels that the TEs they have on the team can play the role when needed. Overall it seems things are going well for the Chiefs and things could be a going a lot better here soon as they appear to be a top option for WR DeAndre Hopkins and one the few teams that had trade talks before he was released.
Las Vegas Raiders:

• Former QB Tom Brady reached an agreement to be a minority owner of the team
• QB Jimmy Garoppolo had to have foot surgery after signing with the team and there is not timetable for his return - believe he should return before the season
  
  • Things could get interesting depending on how situation with Jimmy G works out
• WR Davante Adams is not happy about the current QB situation with the Raiders
  
  • Adams and team have been sued by the photographer he shoved last year
• Will have joint practices with the 49ers
  

It appears there is never a dull week with the Raiders. The news this week about Jimmy seem to add context potentially to what Davante Adams’ comments were about recently. With Tom Brady recently joining the ownership group here it makes us all wonder if the injury is not cleared up is there a way for him to un-retire once again…only time will tell.
Los Angeles Chargers:

• Signed:
  
  • RB Austin Ekeler to a new deal for this final year that added on up to $2m in incentives

Big news here getting the deal done with Austin Ekeler even if it still only keeps him around for 1 year. Thankfully now he should be semi-happy for that one year before he can go out and chase a big contract if he wants to.
Los Angeles Rams:
Not much news here really. Sounds like Matthew Stafford has taken Stetson Bennett under his wing and started to work with him and help him learn more about the transition to the NFL compared to college.
Miami Dolphins:

• WR DK Metcalf challenged WR Tyreek Hill
• Will have joint practices with the Falcons
• QB Tua Tagavailoa is wearing a camera on his helmet to help HC Mike McDaniel see what he sees on the field

I loved seeing Tua wearing the helmet cam. I had not thought about it before but it should be great for him to be able to show McDaniel exactly what he is/was seeing out on the field to add context and allow McDaniel to better coach him and understand what is going on. I think this should be something all quarterbacks do and especially the top ones because it could gives coaches that much more information and a better understanding of how to help young quarterbacks in the future.
Minnesota Vikings:

• Signed:
  
  • WR from the XFL Lucky Jackson
• DC Brian Flores wants defense to develop an aggressive identity but not reckless
  
• RB Dalvin Cook could be a June 1st cut
  

All signs appear to be pointing towards RB Dalvin Cook getting released. In other news it will be good for the defense to develop the aggressive mindset that Brian Flores wants and should bring in the attitude from Miami that wad established during his time there that was so effective and led to them winning games.
New England Patriots:

• Got docked 2 days of OTA workouts for violating offseason rules and HC Bill Belichick was fined $50,000 dollars
• Placed LB Raekwon McMillan on injured reserve due to partially torn ACL

The Patriots seems to always be up to something. It sounds like they were penalized the 2 days of OTAs and fined because of a meeting that Joe Judge held that lasted more than the permitted amount of time. Other tough news came when Raekwon McMillan got injured.
New Orleans Saints:

• TE Foster Moreau is participating in OTAs
• Being in New Orleans has given QB Derek Carr a breath of fresh air
• Former HC Jon Gruden is working with the team and Derek Carr

What a story. TE Foster Moreau finds out he has cancer in a physical with the team a couple months and gets ahead of things and is now practicing with them at OTAs. Interesting story here about former HC Jon Gruden working with the team because during his time with the Raiders many said that he and Carr did not get along. This team has a big opportunity to take over the NFC South and is probably the bet setup to do it with the team they have.
New York Giants:

• Rookie WR Jalin Hyatt wants to get to 190lbs as his playing weight
• TE Darren Waller is happy to somewhere where his opinions are valued
  
  • QB Daniel Jones is enjoying working with TE Darren Waller
• HC Brian Daboll will not speak on contract situations despite currently Barkley situation
  

It seems that everything is going great except the Saquon Barkley situation. There isn’t much new insight into it either after HC Daboll refused to speak on anything contract related. In good news it seems like TE Darren Waller is really enjoying being with the team and working with QB Daniel Jones. This is a team to me that is going to play inspired football like they did last year no matter what is going on because their HC.
New York Jets:

• QB Aaron Rodgers had minor calf strain
• WR Allen Lazard went down during OTAs but supposedly was just a shot to the groin
• Worked out P Matt Araiza
• Chuck Clark was happy to be traded because felt disrespected by the Ravens
• HC Robert Saleh is confident a deal will get done with Quinnen Williams
• Will have joint practices with the Buccaneers

I imagine Jets fans held their breath when they saw Aaron Rodgers get injured as well as Allen Lazard. The good news is that those are not going to be issues in the long run. However, it reminded us all that QB Aaron Rodgers is not a young guy anymore and there is always the possibility that he like any other player in the NFL can get hurt. Hopefully the deal with Quinnen Williams can get done sooner rather than later. I am looking forward to the joint practices with the Bucs because they have a solid defense and it will be fun to hear how they fare in the early phases of implementing a lot of things from both Nathaniel Hackett and Aaron Rodgers.
Philadelphia Eagles:

• OL D.J. Fluker worked out for the Eagles
• DL Jordan Davis has made major strides this offseason will take on a larger role

Jordan Davis is going to be a key piece for the team this year in my opinion so it is great to hear he has made major strides. He is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to his sheer size and the more he can be weaponized the better.
Pittsburgh Steelers:

• Signed:
  
  • EDGE Markus Golden to 1-year deal
  • LB Toby Ndukwe
• Easy decision for QB Mitch Trubisky to sign extension
  
• Started contract talks with OLB Alex Highsmith
  
• Released Tae Crowder
  
• Want to play a regular season game in Ireland
  
• WR Allen Robinson has been very impressed so far by QB Kenny Pickett
  
• QB Kenny Pickett had his car stolen with his playbook inside of it
  

Great move to get Markus Golden. He can be dangerous in this defense and is only one season removed from a double digit sack year. Also, good to see that Robinson and Pickett appear to be getting along. I am curious to see who shakes out to be the #1 receiver on this team but have a feeling it will end up being Pickens because of how good he was last year and the chemistry he and Pickett already have. A QB likes it when his receiver makes life easier and bails him out. Pickens has already done that on multiple occasions for him.
San Francisco 49ers:

• QB Trey Lance just wants a chance to compete and never considered being traded
  
  • Raved about this time working with QB Patrick Mahomes
• QB Brock Purdy expected to start throwing next week, be able to go from gripping a towel to an actual football
  
• QB Sam Darnold will push to start come week 1
  
• Levi’s will officially get the Super Bowl in 2026
  
• LB Dre Greenlaw has a thumb procedure and will miss most of the OTAs this offseason
  
• Will have joint practices with the Raiders
  

It is official the 49ers will host the 2026 Super Bowl! After speculations and rumors it finally became official this past week. Also, there was a lot of good QB news this week with all 3 of the QBs on the roster. Sounds like Brock Purdy is healing properly and as expected, Trey Lance is looking really good in OTAs along with Sam Darnold. Once again this offseason no one is sure who will be starting for the team come week 1.
Seattle Seahawks:

• WR DK Metcalf challenged WR Tyreek Hill
• CB Tariq Woolen had arthroscopic knee surgery and it out til training camp
• Signed:
  
  • CB Artie Burns

Good news for Seahawks fan that Tariq Woolen will be back around training camp time after his procedure. Other than that there was not much news here. They got a solid rotational/depth player in Artie Burns though.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers:

• Video of QB Baker Mayfield making an overthrow went viral on social media
• Will have joint practices with the Jets
• WR Chris Godwin feels like he has a lot of his explosion back
• Team wants to see more consistency out of LB Devin White before offering him the contract he wants

Great to see that Tampa has joint practices with the Jets. They have a tough defense and it will be good for Baker and the offense to get some work against that defense early on. The Bucs have some great weapons on the offensive side of the ball to really compete with those top defenses and if they can all stay healthy this team could be a dark horse team to watch. Overall this should be a good all around team.
Tennessee Titans:

• QB Will Levis is putting pressure on Tannehil and Willis in OTAs this far
• S Kevin Byard is skipping OTAs

Interesting to see that S Kevin Byard was not at OTAs after earlier this offseason it was rumored he was asked to take a pay cut. Definitely a situation to watch. The main news that came from OTAs is that QB Will Levis appears to be looking good and some folks think he could be putting pressure on Tannehill early on and moving himself up the depth chart.
Washington Commanders:

• HC Ron Rivera said that DE Chase Young understands them not picking up his 5th year option
• New OC Eric Bieniemy has been getting on young QB Sam Howell holding him accountable
• Trademark application was denied due to someone else already having pending applications for the name but the team is confident this issue will get resolved
• It has been good for QB Sam Howell that QB Jacoby Brissett has been in the building
• TE Amani Rodgers tore his ACL and is out indefinitely
• Released Nathan Gerry
• Jamin Davis limited in OTAs after knee procedure
• Financing needs to be adjusted in order for the Josh Harris bid to be accepted
• Signed:
  
  • XFL LB Ferrod Gardner

Feels like a lot happened with the Commanders. First off, I think QB Sam Howell is in a great spot to learn and develop this year with mentors like Jacoby Brissett and then his OC Eric Bieniemy. They will hold him accountable like has already been happening and help bring out the best in him. Now it definitely is an organization surrounded by distractions. First off the trademark application for the team’s name was denied and they hope to get something figured out but could lead to another name change. Also, the team is still working through the Josh Harris bid and there need to be some adjustments in order for it to get accepted by the other NFL Owners and the league. These distractions even though they may not always be good for the team they probably do help a young quarterback because he is not the only thing to talk about at this point in the offseason.
Miscellaneous/Other NFL News:

• Many believe that Thursday Night Flexing is to cater to Amazon but really could be the future of how deals get done
  
  • Teams have to have 28 days notice and this is currently just a 1 year move
• RB Jeremy Hill who has not played for the past 5 seasons officially retired siting injury issues leading to his retirement
  
• NFL injury data shows that turf fields are significantly worse for players than grass fields
  
• The Pat McAfee Show will be taking over Max Kellerman’s the time slot on ESPN
  
• Commissioner Roger Goodell’s lobbying convinced teams to vote in favor of the new kickoff rules
  
• Dr. Timoth Kremchek, the Cincinnati Reds' physician since 1996, says he sees an "epidemic" of youth injuries on artificial turf
  
• RB Adrian Peterson will be hanging it up if he’s not back in the NFL this season
  
• After Goodell’s retirement the NFL could change the structure of management for the NFL combining a traditional CEO with a Commissioner of Football
  
• Possible a team will play 3 back to back games in Europe in the future
  
• Devin McCourty will be joining NBC’s Sunday Night Football crew as an analyst
  
• Officially approved emergency 3rd QB rule
  
• Investigating further violations potentially of league gambling policy
  
• DirecTV will still distribute Sunday Ticket to bars and restaurants
  
• S Tony Jefferson announced his retirement
  
• Announced growth of global market program
  

​
Restaurant of the Week: (Washington D.C. - TACOS 5 DE MAYO)
Don’t really have a great picture of this place but that may be a good thing. Often times I find that the places least advertised and that are holes in the wall is typically where you get the best Mexican food. This place is about a 10 minute drive from the stadium and probably closer to 15-20 minutes on game days depending on the time you go. Personally I recommend the Tacos Al Pastor. Those are basically a marinated pork taco that is slightly spicy with some sweet pineapple flavor in it. You cannot go wrong with Tacos Al Pastor and are by far my favorite. The other thing to keep an eye on is the Pupusas. While Pupusas are from El Salvador this place actually does a pretty dang good job of making them. For those that don’t know what Pupusas are they kind of resemble a stuffed pancake but are made of corn in most cases stuffed with either just cheese, cheese and beans, or cheese and pork. My order here would be 3 tacos al pastor and a cheese and bean pupusa. Enjoy!

I'm guessing it doesn't exist but is there any way to tell how many trailer parking spots are at lakes. I hate driving to a lake and not being able to get out on the water due to lack of parking. Would love to be able to click on an app and see "4 spots available". My local counties all have cameras on their docks. Would be great to see them set something up to help anglers know if it's worth driving somewhere.

These are very belated thank yous so I’m really sorry!
u/ChasingAfterShadows (x2) - thank you so much for the silly Squid Games card, I love it, as well as the Champs-Elysées one! I chose The Treachery of Images by René Magritte because it really is not a pipe - it’s a painting of a pipe! haha
u/Mysteryvus - thank you so much for the beautiful Christmas card and merry (very) belated Christmas! My fav Christmas memory is also playing ps1 in the morning, surrounded by presents haha
u/nirelleth - thank you so much for the Wetterhorn card, I enjoyed learning about it :) I’ve been to mount Rigi so I’d love to visit here too!
u/reindeerfrog - thank you so much for the Epcot card! I looove theme parks, even tho I unfortunately only visited one which is Prater in Vienna (but I guess this is more of an amusement park than a theme one lol). Me and my bf went to Europa Park a month ago, it was so much fun!
u/rocknAzDeb - thank you so much for the optical illusion card, it’s so cool!
u/not_napoleon - thank you so much for the card and happy belated World Postcard Day!
u/theethrowawaynumber8 - thank you so much for the Hershey Gardens card!
u/sebisrude - thank you so much for such an adorable cat card, I love it!
u/GreenEggsandCongee - thank you so much for the Singapore Flags of the World card!
u/SatanekoChan - thank you so much for the adorable Tea Party card and the washi tape! I love the pastels aesthetic too, as well as Y2K :)
u/Bree867 - thank you so much for sooo many cards! Halloween, Fall, World Postcard Day, etc! I hope you’ve had an amazing time on all of these days :)
u/CapnCobbler - thank you so much for the Stay Happy card! It’s so wacky, I love it!!
u/ImOkReally - thank you so much for the Pinocchio postcard!
u/lacuntessa (x4) - thank you so much for the Yosemite, Canyonlands and Acadia National Park cards, as well as the Field Museum Chicago one! I am a big fan of egyptology :)
u/vaughnquiqui - thank you so much for the Yosemite National Park postcard! I hope you had a great time at the Minnesota State fair :)
u/austsianodel - thank you so much for the Jerboa postcard! They are super cute and I love watching documentaries about them :)
u/littlemermaidXX - thank you so much for the Take it Tea-sy postcard! Best wishes to you and your cat :)
u/organicalmondmilk - thank you so much for the adorable Golden Retriever pups card! All the best :)
u/Internet_Creep_SM - thank you so much for the Froot Loops card! I had no idea that some of the original ingredients are actually banned in Europe, that’s very sus lol
u/melhen16 - thank you so much for the Thank you card and I hope you had an awesome 50th birthday!
u/HermitCreature - thank you so much for the ostrich postcard! I hope you and your bunnies are doing well :)
u/nuliajuk - thank you so much for the beautiful Malaysia postcard!
u/AtTheCodfishBall - thank you so much for the Howzat postcard! I’m adding the book you recommended to my list and I also heard that In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado is a very good book! :)
u/Frolickingfinns4ever - thank you so much for the card and cute stationery items! I enjoyed your story about adopting your dog and I hope you are all well! :)
u/germymany - thank you so much for the Pantone postcard, I love the color!
u/batcaved - thank you so much for the Confucius card! Your handwriting is the prettiest I’ve ever seen 🌸
u/MelodicEntertainer - thank you so much for the Niagara Falls postcard!
u/cherrycards - thank you so much for the Claude Monet postcard and cute stickers! I’m glad you were enjoying reading ‘Bunny’. I haven’t read The Kite Runner yet but it’s on my list! I have tons of book recs that I’d love to share with you if you’re interested 💕
u/wabisabi_sf - thank you so much for the Greyhound postcard! I have a Pomeranian named Gigi :) it’s so cool that you volunteer at a rescue center, that’s a dream job
u/Noonabae - thank you so much for the Howl’s Moving Castle postcard and stickers! That’s my fav Ghibli movie too!
u/Tsukino_Hana - thank you so much for such a lovely card! 💕
Thank you MyPicturePostcards for the Walt Disney Word Village card!
And a big thank you to the person who didn’t sign their username but sent me a postcard of the Whiteface Mountain! :)

"Pig! Nasty fat pig! - Arthur thought with irritation, leaving the subway, - Squeals, as if she is being cut! Businesswoman! I would put this businesswoman with doggy style right on her huge table and fuck her like a..."
Arthur Lomov was thirty-four and he had everything, like people have - a house, a wife, a child, death ahead, and death inside. He also had a job that he hated. More precisely, the work itself did not cause rejection in him, work as work is no worse than then of others. He did not like the bosses (who likes their?). And not even all the bosses, but only the headmistress, the one whom he was going to "fuck". Sleek and haughty, she spoke to people with undisguised disgust, through her teeth, sincerely and deeply despising the "cattle" that surrounded her. Lomov including. He was nobody for her, a manager, what millions, not even an insect, but a bacterium, office plankton. She has not fired him until now just because there was no case. And then the crisis broke out and rumors about layoffs spread around the office.
And as luck would have it, Arthur mixed up some numbers in the quarterly report. Margarita Nikolaevna called him into the office, and screamed as if he had stabbed and robbed a beggar on the porch of church! Not only did she deduct 30 percent from his salary, she also promised to fire he next time! Yes, he himself would have gone, on the same day! If he had money, real big money, say a million dollars!
Arthur suddenly imagined how he, in an expensive dark gray Versace suit, with a small suitcase in his hand, ignoring the screams of secretary, opened the door with a kick and entered the hated office. How the headmistress's already round stupid eyes are rounded.
"What do you want, Lomov?" She asks.
“I have a business proposal!” He says and puts the case on the table; - I want to fuck you ... Yes, to fuck you now on that table fore million dollars! Behind, you a lustful bitch!
“Yes, you are drunk Lomov, leave my office immediately ...” the headmistress says and the last word gets stuck in her throat, because at that moment Arthur opens the suitcase and she sees tight green bundles with real American money.
The headmistress hardly takes her eyes off the dollars, looks at Lomov, then back at the money. Her primitive brain tries to comprehend the non-standard situation and begins to boil.
"Where did you get this from, Lomov?" she says, swallowing her saliva.
"Who cares? You agree?"
The woman's face is covered with red spots, becomes confused and even somehow miserable.
“This is so unexpected…” she mutters, “what if someone comes in?”
Lomov does not answer anything, and only looks at the headmistress, enjoying her confusion.
Finally, having overcome her excitement, she presses the "selector" button:
“Lena don’t let anyone in to see me! I'm busy!"
Then she raises her eyes to Lomov and begins to unbutton her blouse with trembling fingers, the buttons do not obey her, she throws it, grabs the zipper on her skirt.
At this moment, Lomov slams the suitcase shut and takes it off the table.
"Best wishes!" he says.
"In what sense?" The headmistress asks bewildered.
"I changed my mind!" Arthur calmly answers and, without looking back, leaves the office...
He dreamed so much that he almost fell under the wheels and right on the pedestrian crossing. Some idiot on a tinted "nine" flashed in front of him, Arthur barely had time to bounce, but did not calculate his strength and fell into a puddle.
“No, that’s not good,” he thought, rising to his feet and shaking off the dirt from his jacket, “I need to drink urgently!”
* * *
The pub turned out to be very unpresentable, but this did not bother Lomov. Taking two mugs of beer, he hardly found a free table in the bluish smoke and finally took his first long sip.
- Your headmistress got nitpicking you up, and you are completely innocent of anything? - Arthur heard a dry cracked voice in his ear.
He raised his eyes and saw that a dubious appearanceg peasant with a week-long stubble and two mugs of light beer was sitting at his table. Since the question was purely rhetorical, Arthur merely chuckled vaguely in response.
Now ask me, how do I know this? - the stranger did not want to lag behind.
- What is this?
- Well, the fact that you were fucked by your headmistress for no reason at all?
- Well, how do you know that? - Said Arthur to get rid of the importunate type.
- It's very simple - I'm God! - The stranger said triumphantly. And noticing the bewilderment in the eyes of the interlocutor, he explained:
- Well, the one who created the Earth, the Sky and all this! - He glanced around at the smoky pub.
The life of Artur Lomov developed in such a way that he was not ready for such meetings.
"Yeah, that's exactly how I imagined you!" he chuckled sarcastically.
But the impostor, as it turned out, was not going to joke at all.
- What did you want? I look like this because of you! Because that's how you represent me! And if you were a Hindu, I could now have an elephant's head and a long trunk. What if you were a Mayan...
- Don't, I understand everything, - Arthur stopped him, - Just don't expect me to buy you beer!
- Do not make me laugh! I can create so much beer that it will flood not only your entire Moscow, but the entire planet! And what, not a bad idea - a worldwide beer flood! It is high time! Pathetic little people completely lost their fear, they do what they want! I created such a beautiful planet for you: blue seas, snow-capped mountains, shady forests, crystal waters of rivers! And what did you turn it into?
“Yes, the guy seems to be in trouble with his head!” - thought Arthur, listening to the ravings of an uninvited drinking companion.
Finally, he couldn't take it anymore.
- Well, if you are so omnipotent, could you, just as an entertainment, create for me, let's say a small suitcase with a million dollars? Lomov asked.
“I could,” reply the impostor, not at all embarrassed, “but I won’t. You see, money is such a thing… no matter how much they give you it anyway, very soon you will feel that this is not enough. I'd rather make sure you never need money at all. Is it coming?
Arthur shrugged vaguely.
- I will turn you, well, let's say ... - the stranger thought for a second, - into a rat!
“I don’t want to be a rat,” Lomov suddenly got scared, “they are vile and nasty!”
- No, no, just a rat! Big black rat! But not today, tomorrow. In the meantime, drink your beer!
- Wait! Don't turn me into anyone! - Arthur shouted, but the hanyga had already vanished into cigarette smoke.
* * *
Arthur could not get the key into the keyhole for a long time, and when he finally managed to open the door, he saw his wife in a dressing gown with a crumpled night face.
- Where are you hanging out? – Unkindly asked she, - Do you know what time it is? And why isn't the cell phone answering?
- The phone is dead. Probably ... - Arthur muttered, barely moving his tongue.
- You're l drunk! - The wife said and grimaced in disgust, - And with whom did you get so drunk?
- You will not believe - with God!
- Moron! - said the wife and slapped Arthur on the head with a slipper.
- I am not kidding! I actually drank beer with God and he promised to turn me into a rat! Tomorrow! - He suddenly felt funny, and he began to choke with laughter, - Imagine, tomorrow you wake up, and your husband is a rat, or rather ratman! But it's tomorrow, and now I want to sleep!
- You idiot, take off your shoes! - said the wife and went to the kitchen.
Lomov threw off his shoes with difficulty and went into the bedroom and, without undressing, collapsed onto the bed.
* * *
He dreamed of some nonsense: Margarita Nikolaevna, completely naked, in only shoes, walked around the office, scolded negligent employees, gave valuable instructions. The subordinates listened to her with a serious look and nodded their heads. And only one Arthur could hardly contain the laughter. But when the naked headmistress began to teach the electrician how to properly install the outlet, Lomov could not stand it and literally neighed out loud.
- Lomov, what's the matter with you? - Margarita Nikolaevna asked sternly, - Did I say something funny? By the way, how are you going to compensate for the colossal loss that you caused the company with your mistakes in the report? Do you have a million dollars?
- I have? – Surprised Arthur – Where?
- Then we could cut off your hand! - Suggested Margarita Nikolaevna, - Although wait! Say, are you drinking?
- No!
- It's good that you don't drink, and then we'll take your liver. Or not, better a kidney, because you have two of them!
And then Arthur saw a huge kitchen knife flash in the headmistress's hand. He realized that it was time to run, but his legs suddenly became wobbly and he could not budge...
* * *
Waking up the next morning with a sore head, Arthur first tried to understand why he felt so bad? Obviously, because he got drunk yesterday - that's clear. He strained his brain, and he managed to remember the scandal arranged by the headmistress, as well as the promise to fire him. After such it was a sin not to get drunk! But where? He didn't remember this.
However, there was no time to think, he was already late for work. Taking a sip of cold tea from a cup standing on the table, he quickly dressed and rushed out into the street.
* * *
Despite all the efforts, Lomov was still late for work. As soon as he sat down at his desk and turned on the computer, the secretary called and said that Margarita Nikolaevna urgently wanted to see him. His heart immediately felt ugly and cold.
Arthur honestly tried, following Chekhov, to squeeze a slave out of himself, drop by drop, but somehow it didn’t work out very well. He could convince himself as much as he wanted that the worst thing this woman could do to him was to fire him. Only and everything! But after all, he has arms, legs and a head on his shoulders; he will not die of hunger. But as soon as he was in the director's office, all logical arguments instantly evaporated, and only one animal inexplicable irrational fear remained. That vile, shrill voice pulled things out of the depths of his subconscious that he didn't even know existed. He literally physically felt how he began to decrease in size.
Even now, standing in front of the huge director's desk, like a delinquent schoolboy, he could not get rid of the feeling of his own insignificance.
“Not only are you unable to write an elementary report,” Margarita Nikolaevna’s voice boomed in his ears, “you are also late!” What do you not like about your work? Or do you want to be reduced?
Lomov suddenly imagined that he really was reduced, and at the same moment he saw how all the items in the director's office, including the hostess, began to grow rapidly. He did not immediately guess that in fact no one and nothing is growing, and that he himself is decreasing in size.
- Arthur Valentinovich, what are you doing? – Finally noticed the strange metamorphoses headmistress, - Immediately stop, I order you!
But Lomov was no longer able to stop anything. He was already looking at the edge of the director's table from the bottom up, and after a couple of seconds he realized that his height did not exceed the height of a woman's shoe.
- Rat! - Margarita Nikolaevna suddenly squealed and jumped onto the table with unexpected agility, - Lena, come here soon!
Whistling a few centimeters from his temple, the massive crystal ashtray hit the carpet with a dull thud, and Arthur realized that any delay could cost him his life. With all his might, he rushed under the closet, and a mobile phone and a few obscene words flew after him.
- Where is the rat, Margarita Nikolaevna? - asked the secretary, who came running to the cry.
- She hid under the closet! Call the guard as soon as possible, the closet must be urgently moved away before she runs away!
Realizing that he could not hide here, Arthur began to look for a way out and soon discovered a gap between the plinth and the wall. With difficulty, squeezing through a narrow opening, he found himself in a pier between the main wall and the plasterboard panels with which the office was sheathed. Only now did he feel relatively safe and tried to analyze the situation.
First, he realized that not only had he shrunk in size, but even worse, he had turned into a rat (he never liked rats). This followed not only from the screams of the headmistress (she could call her subordinate and not that way!) but mainly from the long bare tail dragging after him.
And only then Arthur remembered yesterday's visit to the pub and dubious type who called himself God.
It must be said that yesterday he treated his random drinking companion rather lightly, but now, under the pressure of circumstances, he was forced to admit that the impostor was far from being as simple as it seemed to him at first glance. Of course, he is no God, that's clear. But who? For some reason I didn't want to think about it.
Meanwhile, a security guard came and pushed the closet away. They searched for Arthur for a long time and unsuccessfully, but found only a gap in the wall.
- She probably climbed into this hole, - said the guard, - now you can’t smoke her out of there! Or you order to break the wall?
Then the supply manager and some other people came, made noise, moved the furniture.
This bustle tired Lomov, and he dozed off, and when he woke up, there was dead silence. Obviously, the working day has already ended and everyone has gone home. He was terribly hungry, however, not surprising, because he had not eaten anything since yesterday. And then his nostrils caught a delicious smell, it came from the director's office, seeped through the cracks in the wall, penetrated into the brain and caused painful salivation.
Overcoming fear, Lomov cautiously crawled out of hiding and, sniffing the air, moved in the direction of the source of the seductive aroma. Very soon he realized that the smell was coming from the drawer. Using the wires leading to the monitor, he deftly climbed onto the table, but the drawer was closed, and Arthur's weak rat paws were simply unable to pull it out. Luckily, there was a pencil on the table, he pushed it through the slot and, acting as a lever, opened the drawer rather quickly. To his disappointment, he found there only a pile of useless papers and a thick stack of five thousandth bills tied with an elastic band. The impostor did not deceive, now Lomov's money was not at all interested, out of annoyance he even shit on them, but this only increased the hunger.
“Did the devil pull me to ask this idiot for a million dollars?! - he thought, listening to the hungry cramps in his stomach - And yet, where does this smell come from? How can money smell so delicious!”
He rummaged through the entire drawer filled with stupid papers and finally found in the very corner under some kind of contract a small moldy piece of cheese. Well, yes, of course, it was cheese, only he could emit such an attractive aroma.
Arthur ate it in a couple of seconds and of course he didn’t sated a drop. Unable to resist, he even began to gnaw at the contract, soaked with a cheese smell.
- Are you eating contracts? Look, you will earn an ulcer! - Arthur heard a sly voice behind him and turned around. On the edge of the table sat a small but rather pretty white rat.
- Hello! My name is Larisa, - the rat introduced herself, - And you are Arthur from the sales department!
- Exactly, but how do you know me?
- Yes, I used to work in the logistics department; I was fired six months ago.
- Larisa from logistics? I remember you! - Arthur was delighted, - Such a pretty blonde, you still always wore very short skirts, our men just twisted their necks when you walked down the corridor.
- That's why I was fired.
- Wait, are you, too, like I used to be a human?
- All rats were once people, - Larisa remarked philosophically, - but fear turns a person into an animal.
- What kind of nonsense? - Arthur was skeptical.
- No nonsense. British scientists conducted research and came to the conclusion that over the past 40 years, the IQ in rats has increased by 10 points! And at the same time in all rats living in different parts of the globe.
- And what? Rats live next to people and learn all sorts of tricky things from them!
- Let's admit it. Do you know how many people disappear without a trace every year in our country? 80 thousand! A man went out to the nearest store for bread and did not return!
- Do you think they all turn into rats?
- Maybe not all, but many. We have become!
It was difficult to object to such an argument, and Arthur remained silent.
- What are we all talking about? - said Larisa, - you're probably hungry? Come on, I've got something from the New Year's banquet.
Larisa led Arthur to her hole, where a sumptuous dinner was waiting for them: there were half-eaten sandwiches with boiled pork and smoked sausage, and assorted fish, and of course cheese, a lot of cheese.
Satisfying his hunger, Arthur took a closer look at Larisa and suddenly realized that he liked her. And even her long bare tail now did not cause disgust, but rather seemed piquant. And what a wonderful smell emanated from her small, but such a dexterous little body!
Unable to resist the call of the flesh, he approached her from behind and put his paws on her shoulders.
* * *
- Darling! Do you want us to have little rats? - Larisa asked a few minutes later, snuggling comfortably on Lomov's shoulder.
- What? What other rats? Arthur didn't understand.
- Well, how? We didn't protect ourselves! And I am very prolific, in the last litter I brought twelve rats!
- Oh my God! Lomov groaned, “But you can’t do it somehow so that ... well, you understand!”
- Don't you want us to have little rats?
- No, you misunderstood me, that's not the point! It's just all of a sudden...
- What is unexpected? If you don't want little rats, say so!
- It's not that I don't want little rats. You see, this happened to you a long time ago, and in six months you have probably turned into a real rat, you feel like a rat and think like a rat. And I was still a human this morning...
- You were office plankton! - Larisa reminded.
- Okay, so be it! But I walked on two legs, wore a blue suit, a striped tie, and drank Gösser beer.
- You can get beer in the garbage dump, - Larisa suggested, - Sometimes unfinished bottles are thrown there.
- I don't want beer from the dump, damn it! - Arthur got angry, - And I don't want to be a rat! Why on earth should I be a rat? Why, Lord? There are so many real scums around: thieves, robbers, murderers, rapists, child molesters! Well, why me?!
“You and I seem to have such karma,” Larisa sighed sadly, “never mind. Let's sleep better, and tomorrow we'll go to the garbage heap and find you a Gösser beer.
* * *
Lomov fell asleep and had a wonderful dream. In this dream, he was human again.
He was lying in a small bright room on a clean sheet, covered up to his chin with a striped woolen blanket. The gentle spring sun shone through the window, and the soul was light and calm.
He thought that, perhaps, he should go to wash and already threw back the covers, but at that moment voices and noise were heard outside the door. Arthur returned the blanket to its place and pretended to be asleep.
People entered the room, through narrowed eyelids Lomov could only see through the legs and the skirts of white coats.
- But Semyon Arkadyevich, pay attention, a very interesting case! - said the first rather pleasant male voice, - Sick Lomov, he entered yesterday. Hypomanic arousal in an acute form, convinced that he is a rat. When the team arrived, he rushed around the director's office, biting, scratching, trying to hide under the closet, barely managed to calm him down. He was injected with 4 cubes of chlorpromazine. When he wakes up, for some time he will adequately perceive the surrounding reality, but after a few hours the effect of the drug will end.
- Very good! - Answered the second voice, - continue aminazin, add more phenazepam and electroconvulsive therapy. Who's next for us?
- Maklakov, Delirium tremens, entered three days ago...
The voices began to fade, the dream gradually melted away and Lomov found himself again lying in the rat hole. A white rat sat next to him and somehow strangely (with tenderness?) looked at him.
- Larisa? You? - He asked, looking at the animal.
- Well, yes, Larisa, who else?
- You know Larisa, I had such a strange dream here! - Lomov yawned, unable to restrain himself, - As if I had become a man again, I was lying in a clean, bright room, some people in white coats were coming and saying something. It seems like I got sick, I'm in the hospital, and they treat me.
- I, too, at first dreamed of something similar, but then everything went away, - Larisa reassured him, - And it will pass for you too!
- I do not want will pass! Vice versa. Understand - I do not want to be a rat, sleep in this stinking hole, and eat garbage! I want to be human!
- Unfortunately, this is a one-way street.
- In what sense?
- I asked to other rats. There has never been such a case that a rat became a man.
- And what, there is no hope?
- To be honest, not the slightest. Okay, stop talking, let's go have breakfast in the trash, otherwise yesterday we ate up all the supplies!
- I won't go, - Arthur answered and lay down, resting his head on his front paws.
- Okay, lie down. Then I'll bring you something delicious. Do you want rotten herring intestines?
- No.
"Then what do you want I to bring?"
- I do not want anything.
- You can't do that, Arthur. If you don't eat, you'll get sick and soon die!
- That's good, everything is better than this life!
- You know, Arthur, I used to think so too, but then I realized one very simple thing: since we exist as outcasts ...
- Outcasts? Lomov asked.
- Well, yes - rats, cockroaches, crickets and others ... So, since we are exist, then someone needs it!
- To whom? To office plankton? So that they look at us and rejoice that it is not they who have to rummage through the garbage in search of rotten herring intestines?
- Well, yes, at least. And don't forget that at any moment they themselves can be in our place!
- I don't want to be a scarecrow for these one-celled!
- And what do you want?
- Don't know. I don't want to live, that's what!
- We must be careful with desires, - Larisa warned, - they tend to come true!
- Well, let! I want to die and the sooner the better!
- Bad deed is not tricky. There are thousands of ways: you can deliberately climb into a mousetrap, or, for example, go out into the yard in the evening and shout: “Cats are motherfuckers!”
- Faggots! Cretins! Jerks! - Heard the cries of Margarita Nikolaevna from behind the wall, - I will fire you all; you will eat rotten meat in my garbage dump! I told you yesterday to catch a rat! Not only did this bastard gobble up a million dollar contract, but he also pissed off my money!
“Money can be laundered,” the financial director advised timidly, “now many do it!
- Here you take Mark Antonovich and launder this money as you want! And you, Igor Ivanovich, as the head of the security department, urgently take care of the rat! And so that by tomorrow morning I could see her corpse!
- Then I went for mousetraps? Igor Ivanovich asked.
- Go, do something already! Do not stand like idols!
* * *
Arthur not only did not go with Larisa to the trash, but did not even touch the delicacies that she brought him. He spent the whole day lying in the hole, with his head on his paws and staring dully in front of him.
But by evening, when there was no food left, hunger began to make itself felt. Thoughts of suicide disappeared somewhere; he wanted cheese, ham, grain, and most importantly more and more. At first he endured, trying to hide his cowardice, but then he could not stand it.
- Listen Laris, and there you have nothing left to gnaw? - he asked.
- No, I finished everything, you refused! - Answered Larisa, - But I think it's time to visit our headmistress's office. The working day is already over; no one will interfere with us.
Four mousetraps were waiting for them in the office, richly stuffed with cheese, sausage and even lard.
- Give me a pencil! Larisa asked.
Arthur climbed onto the table and brought a pencil. Larisa put it in a mousetrap and it snapped shut, breaking the back of the pencil.
- Well, now you can safely eat cheese! - She said.
While Larisa was fiddling with the next mousetrap, Lomov decided to look for food on his own, and very quickly found a saucer of flour in the corner behind the bedside table. True, the smell of flour was a little strange, but the hunger was so strong that he did not become picky.
- You're so funny! - Larisa giggled when she saw Arthur, - you have a white mustache, and the whole muzzle!
- Yes, I'm here ... I found flour ... - Lomov muttered and began to embarrassedly rub his muzzle with varnishes.
- Wait, are you eating flour? Larisa asked, and her gaze was filled with genuine horror.
- Yes, what wrong? - Arthur spoke slowly, involuntarily infected by her fear.
- I knew it! You could not be left alone for a second; you are like a small child! It's my entire fault!
- Wait a minute, explain plainly what happened?
- There is such an old way of killing rats and mice. Flour is mixed with alabaster and placed in a conspicuous place. Now you will be thirsty, the alabaster will mix with the water, the solution will immediately seize, and you will die a slow and painful death.
- What if you don't drink?
- Then you will die of dehydration. Not a very pleasant ending either.
Wait, you must be wrong! Maybe there was no alabaster in that flour? 'Cause I can't die, I'm so young!
- Okay, let's go; let's look at your flour! - Larissa sighed.
Lomov showed her the saucer; the rat carefully sniffed it and confidently sentenced:
- The smell of alabaster!
- And what will happen now?
- Now you're going begin to die!
- No, it can't be! After all, I have not even begun to truly live, only I was going to! And most importantly - for what?
- I don’t understand where all of a sudden such a thirst for life comes from? Just a few hours ago, you yourself wanted to die!
- I was a fool! And now I understand everything, I want to live! Live by anyone: a blind mole, a cockroach, a worm.
- Whoever you are, sooner or later you would still have to die. Or did you think you'd live forever?
- No, of course, - Arthur was embarrassed, - I just didn't expect everything to happen so quickly and ridiculously. I am not ready!
- Well, get ready, you still have time! I told you - you will go to die for a long time.
- Wait, Laris, it seems it has begun!
- What started?
- Well, what were you talking about. There is something going on inside of me. It feels like... I don't know what to say. It seems like everything is starting to turn to stone!
- I knew it! Well, go to look for your last shelter!
- What other shelter?
- The rat, when it feels that its end is near, leaves its relatives, looks for a secluded place and hides there.
- For what?
- Such is the law - everyone dies alone!
But I don't want to die alone! In fact, I just don't want to die! However, I think I've already said that.
- Of course he did! Come on; crawl away faster while you can still move your paws!
* * *
Arthur wandered for a long time through some basement passageways, crawled into holes, but could not find a quiet place anywhere. There was a rat smell everywhere, or even worse, a cat smell. Finally, he managed to find a seemingly suitable hole, he lay down on a pile of dirty rags, but as soon as he closed his eyes, some devils appeared and dragged him to hell.
"Put me down," he shouted, "I don't want to go to hell! For what? I didn't do anything wrong!"
In response, the devils grinned and were talking among themselves in an incomprehensible language. And when he began to struggle, they twisted his hands (now he had hands!) Behind his back.
But the worst began when they arrived at the place. The devils put a funnel down Arthur's throat and began pouring molten lead into him. However, maybe it was not lead, but silver, platinum, or some other white metal.
Then he vomited with this liquid metal, and then the funnel was inserted again, and everything started all over again. But this was not enough for the devils, and they began to pour the same metal into it only from the other side. His insides were swollen, and it seemed that they were about to burst. Unable to bear the torment, Arthur passed out.
And when he came to himself, he saw a girlish face of angelic beauty bending over him. And suddenly this angelic face approached him and dug into his lips with a passionate kiss.
"Maybe I'm in heaven!" thought Arthur.
- Stop overworking, Lariska, don't you see, he's already recovered! - A rather unpleasant female voice came from somewhere above.
Larisa pulled away and spat.
“I thought he would never recover!” she said, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.
- Where I am? Arthur asked, looking around.
- Where, where, in Karaganda! - Answered the second girl and rolled up with a cheerful laugh, - You better tell us fool, why did you eat cement?
- Cement? So it was cement? – Delighted Arthur, - Definitely not alabaster?
- We have Tajiks doing repairs, - the girl explained, - there are bags of cement in the corridor, so you ate straight from the bag. Dzhamshut came running, complaining, if your patients eat our cement, how can we repair? You had to do a gastric lavage, and out of habit you almost go to hell! Well, Lariska noticed in time, you can say, she saved your life!
The nurses left (he guessed that they were nurses in white caps and gowns) and Lomov began to inspect the room. On the wall, framed under glass, he noticed a rather strange document. Arthur got out of bed, walked over and began to read.
“A reminder to the new arrivals.
Eight levels of hell.

1. Arbuda-naraka - hell of blisters. On a dark frozen valley, surrounded by cold mountains, there is a constant blizzard and snow storm. The inhabitants of this hell are naked and lonely, and their bodies are covered with blisters from the cold. The time spent in this hell is how long it will take to empty a barrel of sesame seeds, if one grain is taken every hundred years.
   
2. Nirarbuda-naraka - the hell of swelling blisters. This hell is even colder and the blisters swell and explode, leaving the bodies covered in blood and pus.
   
3. Atata-naraka - hell when shaking from the cold.
   
4. Hahava-naraka - the hell of weeping and groaning. When the victim moans from the cold.
   
5. Huhuva-naraka - the hell of chattering teeth. Terrible chills and chattering of teeth.
   
6. Utpala-naraka - the hell of the blue lotus, when the constant cold makes the whole skin turn blue like a lily.
   
7. Padma-naraka - lotus hell. A snowstorm covers the frozen body, leaving bloody wounds.
   
8. Mahapadma-naraka - the great lotus hell. The whole body cracks from the cold, and the internal organs also crack from the terrible frost.
   

Staying in each next level is 20 times longer than in the previous one.
After…"
What awaits the unfortunate then Lomov did not have time to find out - a doctor entered the ward. He felt his pulse, pulled his eyelids back, examined his tongue.
- Well, the patient, I see - your condition has stabilized, it's time for the procedures! - He said in a cheerful voice.
- What other procedures? Arthur asked suspiciously.
- Shock cryotherapy.
- What is this? Never heard of such a thing!
- No wonder, this is my own technique. It consists in the following: the patient is stripped naked and placed in a special chamber, cooled to an extremely low temperature...
- Wait, I can't be frozen, I can't stand the cold! My skin is covered with pimples and starts to beat like a fever!
- Get used to, a person gets used to everything. Moreover, you have eternity ahead of you!
Are you a doctor; are you out of your mind? What the hell is eternity? Are you going to freeze me forever? My heart can't take it, I'll just die!
- It's you who are crazy, - the doctor objected, - and now we will treat you!
- Do not treat me, doctor! Yes, I admit, I was sick, but now I am cured. Believe me, I'm healthy! I adequately perceive the reality around me! For God's sake, let me go!
- Would a healthy person eat cement? - The doctor grinned sarcastically.
The orderlies appeared - Lomov recognized in them the very devils who poured liquid metal into him.
They blindfolded the patient and led him through the endless hospital corridors. Then he was taken for a long time in an elevator, as it seemed to him down, and then again there were corridors.
* * *
- I can't be frozen, - just in case, Arthur warned, when the orderlies suddenly began to pull off his clothes, - I'm allergic to cold. I will die immediately!
- Not anymore! - The orderly assured, continuing to undress Lomov.
- In what sense? - Arthur didn't understand.
- In direct! You probably think you're in a psych ward?
- Yes of course! Where else can they bully people like that?
- Wow, "above the people"! - The orderly chuckled, - But just a few hours ago you considered yourself a rat!
- I was wrong! But now that I have realized my delusions, there is no need to keep me in your terrible hospital!
- I told you, this is not a hospital for you!
- What then?
- The ancient Greeks called this place Hades, the Muslims Sakar, the Buddhists - Naraka, the Christians - underworld or just Hell. Atheists believe that there is no such place at all. Remember that jerk on the tinted nine?
- Wait, what do you want to say? But I managed to jump back!
- As you can see, you didn’t have time! - The orderly grunted sarcastically, - You died before the arrival of the ambulance!
- How did I die? Wait, I'm… - Arthur tried to object, but suddenly he realized that he was talking to himself.
He tore off the bandage from his eyes and saw that he was standing completely alone, naked in the middle of an endless snowy plain, and the icy wind was beating his face, tearing tears from his eyes, which immediately hardened, turning into ice.
There was no strength to stand still, and he went at random, trembling all over and falling into the snow almost up to his knees...

Long time lurker first time poster.
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I don't know about other places but in the UK there's a massive problem with like 13/14yr old lads using those disposable vapes. At the skate park I go to pretty much all of them have one that they never seem to put down. So on a sunny saturday when I'd been doing some hypnosis tricks with a few of the guys there I decided to try something out.
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I put the idea to them that they could be hypnotised to give it up for good right there on the spot and after a bit of discussion got 3 to give it a try. I'd hypnotised 2 of them already but one was a total newbie so spent a while getting him into trance then put the other two back under.
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I used a visualisation method of seeing their mind as an iPad and being able to see all the reasons they like vaping as different files that they could easily delete, and download some new files on how cringy and unhealthy and expensive it was, and how proud of themselves theyd feel when they didnt have to do it anymore. I also gave them a 'refresh button' trigger where they could rub their temple whenever they felt a craving and it would just dissolve away.
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After about 30 minutes in trance on a park bench i told them that if they really felt ready when they woke up they could get rid of these things in their pockets that they had no use for. I woke them up and pretty much immediately one of them got up and threw his vape in the bin followed by the other two a couple of seconds later. Great success!
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This turned into an essay but im really excited by how it went. Im 16 and only been hypnotising people for about 8 months. If anyone found this cool to read i can share more experiences.

Related to the Norden purely because that’s what I ride but more of a general adventure bike question. I’m new to adventure bikes, moving in from a succession of sports bikes and before that Motocross, and one of the many things I looked forward to about Adventure bikes was the clothing looked so much more comfortable, especially for longer journeys! I went all in, new bike, new boots, new clothing, new helmet…and for each element I tried on lots of options usually settling for the option that was most comfortable vs price and function.
For boots, gloves and helmet I’m all good, I love my choices and they serve me well in all conditions. The more difficult bit was the clothing, I went for an all season Spada waterproof textile two piece with removable thermal liner and good ventilation, CE armour etc. and what was most apparent out of the selection was that they were the more comfortable by a mile, and great value too.
Now all was great when the weather was cool, but here in England the weather changes from Winter to Summer in the blink of an eye, so the thermal liners are taken out and the vent panels are all open….but here’s the problem, it’s only just starting to warm up, currently 24 degrees C, and I was cooked alive yesterday even when moving at 60+mph and I wasn’t even wearing layers.
I would love nothing more than to just wear some Motocross style pants and jersey with some body armour in the summer but with the majority of my riding being on the road I need proper protection.
Sorry for the long description, but what do you guys do here? How light can clothing be and still be safe and what do you recommend?
Basically I don’t want to look forward to ending a ride just so I can get out of my clothes 😂

Is anyone available tomorrow to help me with a hospital appointment? I need to be there for 1pm and I'm not aloud to use public transport. Thank you any help would be greatly appreciated and can give monies for petrol/parking costs.

I'm looking for some tips on how to harmonise things because mixing systems seems essential (sticking to the recommendations of only one has results that feel very awkward) but there's a lot of contradictory stuff going on.
I am 99% sure I'm a Cool Winter, I've been typed by professionals in a wide variety of seasons and every answer is either that or as close to it as the system allows. I got a diploma in personal styling myself and concluded that all of them were right, though I have struggled with it because while the colours themselves work very well, I feel like my body is unable to support the kind of high-contrast outfits that are typically recommended... I look good, but not right. Much better to wear a single colour head to toe or something like small-scale floral prints in appropriate colours.
I've been getting into Kitchener Essences lately, Ingenue is undoubtedly my dominant essence and I figure this probably explains why I've had a hard time applying colour analysis even though I feel very confident that (some of) the colours themselves work for me, and maybe even why I feel really awful and agitated in come colours I look great in (looking at you, navy blue).
I'm think that I must have a decent amount of Classic essence as well -- tbh I cannot wear many of the clothing recommendations because in terms of my actual body shape I am all Yin, unambiguous Kibbe Romantic. But, I do well in outfits that are basically black from head to toe, and in very simple outfits (basically: a simple dress (sometimes with a floral print), simple shoes (sometimes with a bow on the ballet flats), maybe a headband, plus whatever accoutrements are necessary for the weather). If you're at all familiar with point-based systems for putting outfits together, I am chronically "underdressed" according to all of them. I have genuinely tried to go by the recommendations but I'm just so uncomfortable, so I wear my borderline-minimalist outfits and somehow end up looking like I must be going somewhere special if I so much as wear earrings. I don't even know.
I believe myself to have a notable amount of Ethereal essence too -- apparently my overall vibe is basically "fairy" or "fairy-tale princess". But I have no idea how to properly honour this, primarily because of my colour season and the fact that I am 5'2" and have no elongation of which to speak below the neck.
Right now I have a perfectly functional wardrobe of things that make me reasonably happy. It vibes mostly Ingenue-Classic. Exclusively dresses, lots of black, some pinks and purples, small-scale florals and heart prints. I like scarves and headbands as accessories. I am not unhappy with it, but it feels like something is missing, I'm pretty sure it's the Ethereal essence, but I don't know how to incorporate it into the constraints of everything else. I've thought of maybe expanding my earrings, but it gives me pause because last time I showed up to my Bible study wearing pretty earrings I had someone ask me if I was going on a date later or something (I was otherwise wearing an outfit she'd seen me in several times before, a very modest ensemble, the earrings were the only difference), and I felt like I must be doing something wrong.
Additionally, if anyone has any advice for this, I am struggling a little with modesty, in the sense that I feel borderline overdressed much of the time by the accident of existing, but I'm literally just wearing a black dress and black shoes most days. Maybe it's just a consequence of only wearing dresses, idk. I don't want to feel like I'm showing off by dressing better than other people but I also don't feel physically or emotionally comfortable in separates or what most people consider "casual clothing". It makes me a little bit afraid to wear some accessories that I love but feel like the occasion isn't "special" enough. Most people in my area basically live in jeans or leggings and t-shirts. Part of me worries about immodesty, part of me insists that this is unfair because I am putting in only enough effort to be presentable (no makeup or anything, just wearing clothes and brushing my hair), and part me wants to just wear whatever I want because even if I get some comments like "are you going on a date or something?" I also get women who tell me they're excited to come visit me because they have an excuse to "be girly". I don't know how to process this?
If anyone has advice on any of those specifics, or even just general advice or inspiration on how to tie together these somewhat-contradictory aspects, I would be greatly appreciative. :)

## Race Information
* **Name:** Edinburgh Marathon
* **Date:** Sunday May 28, 2023
* **Distance:** 42.2km
* **Location:** Scotland
* **Time:** 03:43:12
* **Gear:** Altra Vanish Carbon
* **StravaURL:** https://www.strava.com/activities/9156827328
## Goals
Goal Description Completed?
------------------
1 Sub 3:25 no
2 Sub 3:45 yes
3 Don’t Walk no
## Splits
Split Time
------------
1 04:22
2 04:25
3 04:20
4 04:34
5 04:35
6 04:24
7 04:41
8 04:31
9 04:41
10 04:35
11 04:42
12 04:39
13 04:44
14 04:41
15 04:46
16 04:43
17 04:49
18 04:50
19 04:49
20 04:53
21 04:56
22 04:54
23 04:58
24 05:03
25 05:11
26 05:12
27 05:18
28 05:19
29 05:17
30 05:24
31 05:24
32 05:42
33 05:56
34 05:57
35 06:51
36 07:22
37 07:03
38 06:34
39 06:30
40 07:32
41 05:38
42 05:49
43 02:36
##Background
Just turned 50 this year (50M) and started running (again) in Oct’22 from a base of zero exercise for the past five years (excepting having 3 small boys (5,7,&9) and the hustle of daily life, family walks, family activities etc. In 2014 I did a couch25k and between 2014-2017 started to run commute into work averaging about 10km per week over this period - (2014 - 900km; 2015 - 500km; 2016 - 650km; 2017 (jan-aug) - 500km). This culminated in a half-marathon race (Rock n Roll Dublin) in 2017 for which I didn’t follow a training plan but did a few longer runs of 13k(ish) and finished in c. 1:48 (ran out of steam at c.19k and had to run/walk a couple of times to finish).
Before 2014 - there was no exercise/running/training/gym - I was relatively ‘active’ but no sports/activities to note.
In October last year (‘22), I decided to go for a run to see how it felt and surprised myself by running 7km @ 6:10/km pace. I enjoyed it, and decided to get back running with a vague aspiration to complete a marathon in my 50th year….
##Training
… so I started training. Decided in November to book a bib in the Edinburgh marathon, figuring that 7 months should give me a decent enough training block. Avg went from 50km/week to 100km/week over this period.
Month Distance Avg Pace
------------------
Nov 216km 6:16/km
Dec 321km 6:07/km
Jan 284km 5:26/km
Feb 237km 5:25/km
Mar 291km 5:19km
Apr 412km 5:07/km
May 305km 5:00/km
Didn’t follow a specific plan (per se), generally ran 5 or 6 days a week with one long run (5:00/km to 5:30/km), one medium/tempo type run (4:40/km to 5:00/km), three easy runs (5:20/km) and a sprinkling of ParkRuns.
I had no (observable) issues in stepping up the mileage over this period, two small injury niggles,one in Nov and one in Feb, and I rested with no reoccurrence of either.
I self-diagnosed regularly occurring foot pain as a Mortons Neuroma (flared up after c.9km and could be run through - but painful) and went through a variety of shoe types to lessen the flare-ups. Settled on Altra’s and roomy footbox, which worked for me.
Parkrun (5k) times went from 25:26 (Oct’22) to 19:06 (May’22) over this period.
Other notable times -
10k times - avg sub-45mins on tempo/fast runs
Half-marathons - (did over 20 runs at this distance over the 7 months) ran x2 sub 1:40 and x1 sub 1:34 during the block (not races, just fast/tempo runs)
In Mar&Apr’23 I completed x5 long runs >30km (longest @33km) and a further x2 (27km & 29km) as part of the build up.
I trained with SIS gels and a water bottle filled with Tailwind mix during the long-runs and they settled ok, a little queasy but ok (I did all other runs (<27km) without nutrition or water)
The <1:35 half-marathon was the last fast/long run before the start of the taper (from 100km to 80km (wk1) to 55km (wk2) to 25km (wk3)).
##Plan & Pre-race
All marathon time predictors (runalyze; metathon; crplots) had me at a 3:10 to 3:12 marathon time based on my strava logs - I felt this was optimistic (4:34/km) as I had a tendency to drift (pace & heartrate) on longer runs. Based on the half-marathon times in the training block I felt i could sustain close to that pace for maybe 30km - but >40km would be a push - so settled on the following plan for race day:
First 16km (10 miles) at 4:40/km, next 16km (10miles) at 4:50/km, last 10km to keep legs moving and hold-on to the finish. Goal A - was to run a sub 3:25.
Pre-race prep was unremarkable - flew to Scotland (from Dublin) on Friday evening - ate well Fri/Sat (lots of pasta, steak, bread) slept ok . Collected bib Saturday morning, pottered around the city for a couple of hours , rested the rest of the day.
Race day morning, grabbed a banana, coffee, croissant - had 500ml of tailwind c. 2 hours before start - greased myself up (sunscreen & anti-chafe), bathroom, checked bag, warmed-up (stretches/gentle jog). Fuelling plan for the race was a gel every 6km topped-up with Tailwind which I carried in a hand-held bottle.
Weather was warm and overcast at the start (10am)
##Race
Start was largely downhill for the first 8km, and I tried to keep the pace under control. Legs felt strong and were turning-over well. Despite best efforts, the combination of the downhill, first marathon excitement, over-confidence, other runners pace, me being an idiot, had the first 8km in c.4:35/km pace - which was faster than intended, but not wildly so. The course then hit the sea front and the breeze helped to take the edge off the pace and I settled into the target pace of 4:40/km (-ish) for the next 8km.
Took the gels at 6km, 12km and 18km and sipped from the hand-held bottle (tailwind) throughout. I grabbed a few gulps from the on-course water as I ran-by. Weather started to warm-up as the sun broke through the clouds.
Hit 16km feeling good - slightly ahead of target pace and the race-plan was to run the second 16km at an avg 4:50/km so I eased off a little to adjust to plan.
Hit half marathon in 1:38ish which was ahead of plan, but I felt ok, knew I had completed a 1:34 half a few weeks back and the race-strategy was to target 4:50/km from 16k to 32k.
Then things changed at around 23/24k mark - legs started to lose some power which came as a surprise, I also started to feel a little nauseous. I skipped taking the planned gel at 24k as i felt i would be ill if i forced it down.
At 25k I just couldn’t hold a sub5:00/km pace at all. I recognised that I was in trouble and it was barely half-way through. Resolved to move to my long-run pace for the training block at 5:20/km and hoped this could see me through to the end. Took a gel at 30k and temperatures were getting warmer. Despite all the difficulties I hit 30k in 2:24 (avg. 4:50km) but i was weakening and getting worried.
When I reached 32k in the marathon I knew I was fucked, pace had slipped to 6:00/km, sun was beating down, other runners were struggling, and I started negotiating with myself to just. keep. running.
By 35k I had to start run/walking as my legs had completely gone. I was gutted but there was nothing left in the tank. Walking through the two water stations I could actually drink the bottles of water and was surprised at how thirsty/dehydrated I was. Pace times dropped off as I continued to run/walk for the next 5k. Nearing the end I gave it everything I had to run the final 2k.
Crossed the finish in 3:43
##Post-Race
Disappointed I couldn't run the whole 42k but recognise sub 3:45 is an achievement for a 50year old (couch to marathon in 7 months).
Hard to rationalise what went wrong here - initial thoughts:
1). Over-fatigued / over-trained - despite feeling strong during training this was not actually the case - taper ineffective (??)
2). Target pace too aggressive - over-confident/ego/greedy - did not respect the distance - went out too fast
3). Fuelling/hydration was wrong - sweated too much -relied on tailwind - did not take enough water on-course - skipped gel at 24k
probably a combination of all of the above factors.....
##Next Steps
i) Rest for a week
ii) Dublin marathon at the end of Oct
iii) Start structured plan Pfitz. 18/55 or 18/70
Made with [Strava race report generator](https://race-report-gen.jezl.xyz/).

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